#it's just That Good

[realtalk127]

alright fuck it. i can't sleep and i need to talk about this scene from the last episode of critical role.

because holy shit if this ain't some of the best rp – nay, storytelling in general – that i've ever seen. (buckle up, it ain't gonna be short.)

laudna: i made you a doll. because dolls are for children. and you're a child.

the way she says this is not nice! it's biting, it's snarky. she definitely seems to mean it as an insult – and she probably does! – at first. but laudna's idea of a child is much more expansive than just a cheep insult, as she makes clear shortly.

then ashton's response: i've never had a doll before. this is the nicest thing anyone's ever given me.

i don't know if this reaction melts laudna a little (if it does, she doesn't show it visibly), or maybe she was already coming to the conversation with a more nuanced definition of 'child', but either way, the conversation shifts immediately – and the next two sentences clarify where they're both coming from here.

laudna: i like children. // ashton: i don't.

she likes children! and we knew this, of course. marisha, the god of intentional rp showed us this within the first few moments of laudna's screen-time way back in episode 1. but still! it's worth repeating. despite the bite of her initial comment to ashton, she doesn't necessarily mean it as an insult. i don't know that we could entirely call it a compliment, given the context, but at the very least, i think she intended it as a point of connection.

after all, our data re: Laudna And Kids is not limited to that one scene from episode 1. there's also the parallel scene that mirrors it (with a happier ending) back in episode 38, when laudna first visits the sun tree after her resurrection. we also know (via a 4sd episode that i don't care to dig up right now) that laudna had another friend before imogen, who was a little girl.

and i think it's that little girl that's the most important piece here. we don't know anything about that story except that she exists, but i'm willing to read between the lines and make an assumption that laudna – on average – has better luck getting children to be kind to her (when they've not yet been taught to be cruel) than with adults. there is an innocence there that laudna needs! she needs people who haven't been hardened by assumptions and pre-judgements and all that bullshit. for laudna there is safety – both emotional and literal physical safety – in a childlike perspective.

ALL THAT TO SAY: laudna's associations with childhood are, generally, positive. for a variety of reasons.

but!

ashton's are NOT.

ashton's childhood sucked. from the jump. he was a part of a shitty cult that he barely remembers, and after that they were in an ophanage. their associations with childhood are overwhelmingly negative, and likely associated with feelings of helplessness and loneliness.

whether or not laudna intended that original comment ('you're a child') as an insult, we can pretty safely assume ashton took it as one.

they continue:

ashton: they're awful. // laudna: they're not.

NOW, we're getting into the meat of it. where before they were dancing around a metaphor, it becomes immediately clear what's really being talked about here. ashton is saying 'i'm awful', and laudna is emphatically saying 'no you're not.'

which! first of all, is so insanely generous of her. after what ashton just put her through less than 24 hours ago, laudna has every reason to affirm ashton's assertion that they are, in fact, awful. but she doesn't. ashton knows this, which is why he amends his original statement:

ashton: they can be.

they're saying: perhaps i can concede that i am not always awful, but let's at least agree that sometimes (like specificaly, oh, i don't know, LAST NIGHT) i can be.

laudna: you should remember what it's like to be one.

ashton: i do. it wasn't great.

the LAYERS, y'all. the LAYERS. the important thing here is that it's all in the context of that first comment: you're a child. which is, critically, a statement made in the context of ashton's decisions the previous night. they're talking in generalities here, but they're mostly talking about last night.

so!

when laudna says they should remember what it's like to be one [a child], she also means: you were a child last night, but not in a cool, whimsical way, just in a shitty, immature way. AND! when ashton says they remember, and that it wasn't great, they're saying they know they fucked up last night, but all they know of childhood is an overwhelming helplessness, how can that possibly be spun to a positive?

and this, really, is the crux of their two differing worldviews. these two have a lot in common – much has been said about that in game and out – but this point is where they split. laudna has survived, by embracing her childlike nature (admittedly, to a fault, at times). how to keep from being hurt? just keep everything fun and whimsical! nothing to worry about here, it's all just a silly little game! and she has also needed people who share that perspective. people who are willing to take her at face value and without any of the negative assumptions and prejudices they may have picked up along the way.

ashton, on the other hand survived by growing up immediately. they got through their own shitty childhood by becoming an adult (or acting like one anyway) as quickly as possible and STAYING that way. ashton needs to have a tough exterior (there's the made-of-stone thing again) to feel safe. (admittedly, from an audience perspective, this veneer is basically see-through. but ashton doesn't necessarily know this. they're trying their best. so from their perspective, the tough guy thing is Working.)

laudna: you should find more joy in your inner child.

she's saying two things here:

(1) you can be soft and be safe. those can co-exist, aND!

(2) i need you to be soft for me to be safe. when you have this false tough exterior, it hurts people. it hurts (hurt) me.

which is certainly a resonant metaphor to play with for the literal ROCK GUY who just got literally MELTED into LAVA 12 hours prior.

ANYWAY- that's what i've got for now on this scene. i'll probably never stop thinking about it, and there's even more good shit from later on in the scene when they talk about the doll, but that's it for now.

[dragonfire1000]

Watch "Dark Xunshine-Comic Dub" on YouTube

Cross and Dream are in for the biggest challenges and emotional turmoil a of their life! Tune in this Saturday @8am CST for the dark Xunshine comic dub!

Featuring @tehrogueva as Cross and myself as Dream and Shattered Dream

Comic is by @zu-is-here, if you haven't checked these folks out, you should! They're amazing!

[peonyblossom]

no Choices book is ever going to compare to the It Lives series

[katinkulta]

@lintubintu and @king-krisu you two know what's up

[beardedmrbean]

[firehandlerfred]

Every week or so without fail, i think about AO3 user sbj, who wrote what I consider to be one of the best piece of fanfiction ever, "more than human", and then disappeared 😢

It was for the PowerPuff girls too, a show I would never have thought to read fanfic of, but here we are.

[w4z1zi]

"Do you even love me?"

Literally you :

[coffeeworldsasaki]

I'm at 72 hours at baldur's gate 3 and I've just reached the city (literally, I closed the game after seeing the city from the bridge after escaping from prison) and the incredible thing is that I haven't been bored for a second when playing. It always happens in huge games to get maybe a boring npc or an insufferable quest or a terrible area that makes you dread replaying the game but not with bg3? I actually look forward to replaying everything!

[thirddoctor]

I think we've had enough master. Bring back the monk, babybee. We got monk problems now

This is what I've been saying! I still think the Monk would've been a perfect villain for the version of Thirteen's era where they were actually intentionally writing her as a passive, non-interventionist Doctor. He's the ideal foil and he'd be so much fun. No dreary standing about the ruins of Gallifrey listening to lore dump monologues. The Doctor would be racing to stop him from introducing NFTs to Plato or something like that.

[scratching92]

Okay, I'm like a decade late but I just need to say that the operation to destroy the Memento Mori in Gundam 00 is genuinely some of the sickest shit I have ever seen.

[kickassfu]

one day i'll read one piece and not cry over a ship. but it's not gonna be today.

[minoan-ophidian]

Why does the ga'hoole wii game go so hard

Like you're already here for all the characters, lingo and locations the movie didn't even think to mention and then it throws hagsfiends at you?? Hello?

[murky-tannin]

Whatever happens in the dsmp I will always loose it over the animatics Requiem by wolfythewitch and I know who you are by KNP

[kochei0]

I turn to Ares.

Thanks to Tyler Miles Lockett who allowed me to draw inspiration from his ARES piece for page 2! Look at his etsy page it's SICK

⚔️ If you want to read some queer retelling of arturian legends have a look at my webtoon

[turtletoria]

Palestine will be free in our lifetime 🇵🇸🍉🕊️ Don't look away, and let's keep supporting Palestine in any way we can.

[lesbiciousbeginnings]

When you’ve been cooking for long enough, you stop making recipes and start making “shit in a skillet” and “whatever soup”