#it's just as hard to write a sentence on a silly little tumblr post as it is to write a sentence that's part of a story

[scribefindegil]

I post a lot about how it’s vitally important to be comfortable with making Bad Art if you are a beginner, but I’m struggling a lot with being comfortable making Bad Art due to a loss of capacity. All those quotes about wresting with the gap between understanding and execution hit a lot harder when you used to be able to execute really beautiful, complicated things and now you can’t.

I think a lot about Terry Pratchett’s later books, especially the last one. It’s not as good as what he used to write. You can feel the impact that his illness had on it. It makes it hard to read at times.

I’m still glad that he wrote it.

Since my curse got worse over the summer, all my thoughts are slow and fuzzy. I struggle to remember words and to make connections. I’m not capable of entering the “flow” of writing anymore; every single word is like raising a stone block out of a quarry. My sentences feel clunky and off-kilter. I hate it.

I’d decided that this meant I just couldn’t write anymore.

I think I’ve changed my mind.

I know I can’t write the way I used to, and that’s really hard and frustrating. But giving up and saying, “Well, this means I can’t ever tell stories unless my brain comes back” was just making me more miserable. So I’m going to try. It’s okay if it takes a long time. It’s okay if they aren’t very good. I don’t have to push through if it’s too hard for me to get joy out of it or it ends up making my health worse. But I don’t have to write it off as a lost cause either.

[ruporas]

apologies if you've already been asked this but do you have any favorite trigun fics? i absolutely adore your art btw!

thank you!!! and i've answered this on insta, but i don't think i've ever shared on tumblr... i'm not good at reading fics, esp long ones, because my attention span is pretty bad, but from the ones i have bookmarked, i'll share some that i like in no particular order

hills like white elephants (meet me halfway) - adlvnam

pairing: vashwood word count: 1.1k, sfw, vague post v.10 spoilers ‘I read a story once,’ Vash says, unsure. ‘I’m kind of thinking about it right now.’

i like a lot of adlvnam's fics, i find them very unique and creative in their execution, and their writing is wonderful! this was the first fic i've read from them and it's stuck with me ever since. others that i like from them are in manus tuas (no spoilers) and vox dei (warning for post vol.10 spoilers).

stay - Anonymous

pairing: vashwood word count: 2.3k, sfw, no spoilers “Hold up,” Vash groans. He presses his free hand to Wolfwood’s mouth and shushes him. He’s probably going for a stern look, though between his poor attempts to stop grinning like the biggest idiot this side of the planet and the way he’s patting him, it’s hard to take him seriously. “Stop laughin’. Where’s the keys?” “What keys?” Wolfwood tries to ask, muffled by Vash’s hand, and his tongue is a little thick and slow in his mouth so… something comes out, but it’s probably not very wordy. Word-like. Not a sentence, probably. (or, wolfwood and vash get drunk, bicker, and then share a bed together.)

i enjoyed the mundanity and silliness of this fic and i think about it from time to time... i think fics where one of them or both drink together are pleasant to read.

Last Summer - varilien

pairing: vashwood word count: 741, sfw, no spoilers You are what you love.

tags on this one are "sunrises, morning routines, coffee, sentimental" which caught my attention. very sweet and beautiful.

Rain - Kokohamstar

pairing: none, wolfwood centric word count: 768, sfw, major spoilers - post v.10 Ever since he was a little kid listening to Bible stories, he dreamed of the day the world would be washed clean and wondered what the rain would feel like on his face.

as most wolfwood centric fics, it was a gutpunch and melancholic, but still soooo.. augh.... the last paragraph really does it for me.

water bucket blues - fathomfive

pairing: vashwood word count: 3.7k, sfw, major spoilers, post trimax Vash the Stampede goes on the record about a friend he once had. Also about card games, cats, family, and some other things. "Start with a piece of the whole, Meryl said. It doesn’t have to be the first piece. Start with a specific. That’s what they mean when they throw around the words human interest. I know the pieces. Believing they make a whole is another thing. But she’s a broadcast professional and I trust her advice. Maybe if I can figure out how to tell one piece—like the story of Wolfwood as I knew him—I can learn how to tell the others."

i love vash pov fics and i love it when it's first person and this one in particular hits because it's his pov and he speaks, honestly, openly, telling a tale that he can't really flub because it's about the people he loved. i love how grounded this fic is in the present of max, i love how vash grows within the 3.7k words, i love how he moves forward with the world he's living in. this fic makes me teary if i think too much about it... it's really wonderful.

it’s a summer day, and I want to be wanted more than anything else in the world - goldenglitz

pairing: vashwood word count: 3.9k, nsfw, no spoilers Vash has the lung capacity of a man who’s cried for 150 years. It isn't like Wolfwood takes more than he gives — but like with most things, he barely keeps up with Vash. He works his body to the limit, even as his lungs burn and his legs and arms give out under him. They fuck like they’re on borrowed time. All of this makes it so easy — so much easier than just talking. Wolfwood would sometimes rather pull new and interesting noises from Vash with just his mouth than do anything else with it. Their own dialect: moans, groans, and four words. “Yes” — “Please” — “Vash” — “Wolfwood.”

i love all of their vashwood fics, they only have 3 but they're all lovely and has a sort of characterization to both vash and wolfwood i don't see often. definitely one of my faves, especially when it comes to explicit vw fics.

i think these are all the ones i'll share for now!!

[rinadragomir]

Julie Plec and convenient diversity 🙃

Okay so when I found out they chose a British guy to play Dimitri I was a bit upset but in a super chill way cause 1)he looks fantastic 2) British accent kinda reminds me of Russian so I thought they not gonna have any problems with working on it.

Then my Tumblr friend made a post and I found out they erased that part of him. TV show Dimitri is not Russian anymore. I was kinda confused cause 1)then why would he have a Russian name👀 2)what about the fact that Rose spends the whole book in Russia, what about Roza, what about half of their jokes😟

BUT TODAY 🤡I FOUND OUT 🤡WHAT THAT PIECE OF HUMAN 🤡SAID ABOUT THAT CHANGE 🤡

Okay it's not a literal quote but it's almost it:

Dimitri is not Russian anymore, you'll be fine with it when you learn more about that amazing man playing his role.......It was important for us to convey the spirit of modernity, to show today's world with all the diversity of its cultural idiosyncrasies. Accent, origin and race do not matter because we are all part of the same community.

That clown living her clown life 🎪

Okay let's see

So she put 1) diversity is important, we all different and it's cool to show it AND 2)why diversity if we're the same person? 🥺 IN ONE FUCKING SENTENCE?!?!????!

Julie Plec literally said: OF COURSE diversity is important, we have Black Americans! Latins, Chinese guys...or not Chinese, I mean asian people = only Chinese right? And of course ...*whispers* I can't remember more..... um.....what? Turks? what is it? Turkey? Like ...Turkey on Thanksgiving day?🥺Yeah? Russian? Russia... sounds familiar where is it👀ugh nevermind some white dudes, they sound like British anyway

I forgot to mention I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST THE CAST they're babies and they do the best they can, their acting is the reason I watched that trailer✋they just do their job and do it perfect

I have BIG ISSUES with creators of this show

⚠️Before some of you start with your American "um bitch u know dat black people live in Turkey and British people live in Russia and Latin people live in Romania" I'll say: they definitely MIGHT live there, tho I've never seen anything like this in any of these countries (I live in one of them and I've been in two others

But after Dimitri being a British announcement, there's no way Rose is Turkish. No fucking way. No one actually cares about the diversity. Diversity is a thing ONLY when it comes to people who live in America.

When people from Turkey, Russia, Romania even slightly open their mouth EVERYONE SHUTS THEM UP with "um....white dudes talking again 😴we have Black and Asian people, others don't actually exist👁️👄👁️)

If you think that "WOW we have a cool beautiful black girl as a lead, finally some good fucking food, finally a WELL WRITTEN WOMAN OF COLOR"

no think again😍you really believe that a woman who thought "ugh....idk all of these Turkish and Russian....ugh language, traditions are so hard🥺" will MAKE AN EFFORT?! To write a proper black lead girl? Seriously? I have some news

If you look at the cast and think "we have a proper diverse cast! That's so great! Different cultures were so important in the books, I'm sure tv show creators will explore this topic even deeper" you're poor innocent silly soul, that's who you are.

👉🏻IT'S NOT ABOUT AN "AdApTaTiOn" IT'S ABOUT PEOPLE WHO HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THESE BOOKS AND THEY DON'T WANT TO, BUT THEIR LITTLE DAMAGE BRAINS CAN'T COME UP WITH THEIR OWN NEW UNIQUE STORY (and even when they can, it's so fucking bad, no one wants to watch it), SO THEY TAKE A POPULAR TITLE AND MAKE THEIR OWN SHIT PRETENDING IT'S ALL THE SAME CAUSE THEY DIDN'T CHANGE CHARACTERS NAMES. 👈🏻

And a little reminder how people look outside of England and the USA for my beloved Julie Plec and people saying "real diversity is here, who needs these white guys on the screen" (Turkish, Romanian, Russian)

[valaruakars]

Hi y'all!!

Specifically: Hi friends who've been following along with my year long adventure in gym hell. You know it (because I never shut up about it), you love it (I hope, if you haven't stopped reading yet??)--yeah, it's Let's Get Physical.

I've been slowly working on an update to the current chapters since the beginning of the year, and I'm planning to post it on Sunday. It's fairly minor, and won't change the story. I'll be overwriting the current version on Ao3, and on the original posts here on tumblr. Obviously I can't do anything about reblogs, so that is what it is.

Just giving anyone who wants to save them as they are an advanced warning! If you're like why? What's changing? And what the fuck are you doing? I'll tell you my secrets under the cut ;)))))

First and most importantly: It's fanfic, and I can do whatever I want 😘

I'm only saying that to reinforce it for myself, and for anyone else who has regrets or little things that bother them within their stories. We do this for fun and for free, and there's no hard and fast rules! Just common etiquette, ofc, which I don't feel this violates.

There are things I'm tired of being hung up on, so for me, the best way to move forward was to change them. Here's what I did:

Switched the whole thing into present tense.

Altered some whack sentence structures, grammar and punctuation.

Pulled details I felt were extraneous.

Filled something very small that I felt was a plot hole.

Refined a few areas I was unhappy with.

None of this would necessitate a reread when I post the next chapter!

That said, number one is the biggest, most noticeable change and 99.9% of what motivated me to do this. I've always regretted writing it in past tense. Maybe that's silly, but I was trying to challenge myself to do something different than what felt natural and it really backfired long term. Rather than letting it continue to hold me back and slow down the (already very slow) process, I just went fuck it and fixed the problem. I'm much happier with it now, which is all that matters.

The rest is all small potatoes. It just kind of happened in the process. I didn't use any kind of tool to change tenses, I went back and did it manually to retain the flow, integrity, and general vibe. Naturally, I found some stuff with fresh eyes that I wanted to change or fix. Nbd really!

This whole thing isn't that big of a deal, in my opinion, but I didn't want to blindside anyone. Yay transparency!

If you read this far: Thanks so much! If you have any questions: Feel free to ask! I'll have time this weekend to answer them with my assistant ↓

[onlymorelove]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💖

Thank you so much for sending me this ask, Stella! <3<3<3 Did you do a self-rec thing of your own? Pls link me if you did; I'd love to read it. I can't pick favorites of anything, so I'll just mention five fics I wrote that I like.

Unwell (Fandom: Bones (tv show))

Yup, the mighty Temperance Brennan was sick. Takes place after Season 3, Episode 4.

I love banter-y ships. I wrote this fic 15 (!!!) years ago, but I remember getting a kick out of mixing banter and silliness with deeper conversations. Booth even reads Brennan a short section from a romance novel. :D It's been a while since I wrote Unwell, but I think I wanted to follow some loose threads in Bones and explore the emotional ramifications; fic is such a great place to do that. He's a candle (burning in my room) (Fandom: MCU)

It's just sex, isn't it? (Some talking + a lot of feelings + a smidgen of smut = this fic.)

This is a Steve/Tony fic, and it means a lot to me; I think it always will. There's a splash of body image issues, a dash of pining while fucking, and a ton of emotional vulnerability that's tied up in the sex, the build-up, and the afterglow.

My only sibling killed himself in February 2018; my dad died less than five months later; I started writing this story around three months after my dad's death. Life was a huge struggle, and so was writing, but I tried really hard to get down words, and I pushed myself with the imagery and the feelings. some words build houses in your throat (Fandom: MCU)

The night before they travel back in time, Tony says what he needs to say.

Someone anonymously sent me a "stevetony + confession" prompt in response to a three-sentence fic meme here on tumblr. This fic was my attempt to fill their prompt. It's a sort of missing scenes fic for Endgame. I was hungry for a little bit of team feels. I wanted Steve and Tony to both use their words AND try to behave like adults. Adulthood is complicated. We don't always get everything we want. Not all of our dreams and wishes come true. I wanted to play with honesty/revelation but also with restraint. And I really, really wanted Steve and Tony to quote parts of Walt Whitman's Leaves of Grass to each other. So I wrote it. ;) I Barely Knew I Had Skin Before I Met You (Fandom: Timeless (tv show)

Sometimes love is found in unexpected combinations. Lucy wakes in the middle of the night to find one less man than there should be in her bed. [Set sometime in the future. Lucy, Garcia, and Wyatt are in a polyfidelitous relationship. Translation: the three of them are romantically involved and are faithful to each other. They also live together.]

As mentioned above, I have a weakness for banter. I wanted to write a story with a poly ship—Garcia Flynn/Lucy Preston/Wyatt Logan. I wanted banter, flirting, and domestic fluff, and I wanted discussions of grief and loss because I thought they made sense in the context of the show's canon. A few small scenes popped into my head, and I wrote toward and around them.

my life is for you (and no one other than you) (Fandom: Teen Wolf (tv show)

It’s a journey they began years before, but one they have to take again and again. Together. (Post-coital, slice-of-life fic. AKA sass and fluff.)

Courtesy of my Thiam phase in 2017, here we have Liam Dunbar and Theo Raeken as adults, being established-relationship ridiculous and sweet. Thanks again for the ask! *hugs*

[bi-bats]

Hey! Just so you know I’m waiting with baited breath for jtw to see all your works because I’m going to go feral for all of the words you are blessing us with, like that’s so so many words. Im in love with your writing and if I’m even a little reasonable about this it will be a lie. I’m ready to lose all coherency and just bask in the writing that you’ve worked so hard on to share with everyone. 💜💜💜💜💜

For the word ask thingy: breaks

Oh my gosh!!! Hi!! Thank you so much!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭 That’s so sweet and also I KNOW ITS LIKE MAYBE TOO MANY WORDS IVE BEEN WORKING ON THESE SINCE THE PROMPTS DROPPED IN MARCH!!! I hope you enjoy it all!!! Also saw your tags on some of my posts so I'm gonna respond to those real quick: mochaccino fic is Monday's post actually!! Sunday's post is... so angsty. Like, enemies to incredibly fucked up lovers. This is the snippet for sunday. I'm obsessed with it and I don't usually post darker stuff but I just love writing it so probably more darker stuff like this will come in the future too!!

Thing two: even if you don't comment on my fics, getting an ask like this means just as much!!! or seeing people interact with my posts on tumblr because I know it means they like my writing enough to keep an eye on me over here!! Seriously, I appreciate it any time someone says anything about my writing, even if it's just a reply or a tag, because I crave validation attention. Anything is amazing!!

And okay, this prompt was actually such a challenge for the word breaks because like EVERY SENTENCE WITH THAT WORD WAS A SPOILER I DIDN'T WANT TO REVEAL 😭 except for this one, which is for my thursday fic and I haven't posted any snippets of yet!!

Dick’s mouth pressed into a thin, disappointed line. “Damian isn’t the one who’s going to ruin the night, at this rate.”  “So I’m right.”  “Tim.” “Dick,” Tim narrowed his eyes at him, “I know what you’re doing.” Dick sighed, raking a hand back through his hair. “Look, I know you’re allergic to things like fun and breaks, but those are things someone has to make you do so you don’t become one with your computer!

Dick is SUCH a character in this, I love him so dearly. This one is going to be fun and silly which we'll need because of all the angst coming on Sunday, Tuesday, and Friday (and a little bit on saturday) 😂

Great job giving me a challenge!!! and thank you so much for the ask ❤💚💖

(Send me a word and I'll post a snippet from one of my jaytimweek fics that has that word in it)

[infinitestarsintheskye]

I finished my masters degree, immediately went on holiday to a VERY hot country with my family and have sat about drinking tequila sunrises and reading fanfic for a week. So without further ado, here is a list of recs that have delighted me over the past week or so.

These fics are ALL without exception, Eddie/Chrissy from Stranger Things, fics bc that’s what has been feeding the serotonin monster in my head. Also most of these will be rated E bc I’m in my horny era okay.

Also I have no idea if any of these writers are on tumblr. If they are pls let me know and I will tag them!

Duality by broomclosetkink - this is without a doubt the best bodyswap au I have ever read. It’s funny and sexy and absolutely exquisitely written. Read the rest of this author’s stuff whilst you’re at it bc they are just a stunning writer and can just absolutely hook you in a chapter, sometimes less. I love their stuff so much. If this author ever reads this please know I would read mere sentences from this verse. Eddie Munson/Chrissy Cunningham, Rated E, 55k+ words, 10 chapters, completed. https://archiveofourown.org/works/41012802/chapters/102786198

Cannabis and Contemplation by @bratanimus - this is just a great little AU moment between Eddie and Hopper and it’s so wonderful and it makes me so furious we never got to see these two interact with one another in canon. They are just shooting shit about life post the post apocalyptic nightmare that was S4. It’s these moments between characters where nothing is exactly happening action wise but they’re just talking, that I find so incredible and remarkable. I personally find them so hard to write and I love reading them so much. Eddie Munson/Chrissy Cunningham, Rated T, 2k+ words, 1 chapter, Completed, https://archiveofourown.org/works/41234835

Ride the Sky by Deathinasmalltown - A gorgeous, smutty lil fic, where Eddie and Chrissy catch Jason cheating on her and then go and take a lil ride in his van, go back to his trailer, smoke a lil bit and then get a lil bit closer as the night and days go by. It’s just them being ridiculously flirty and sexy and it’s so fucking good. Eddie Munson/Chrissy Cunningham , Rated E, 26k+ words, 6 chapters, Completed. https://archiveofourown.org/works/41089473/chapters/103106571#workskin

Didn’t Mean to Scare You by its_kira - it’s a soulmates AU!!! I’m a fucking sucker for a soulmates AU and genuinely if this one isn’t completed I think I will simply pass away. Just read it pls, my descriptions would not do it justice. Eddie Munson/Chrissy Cunningham, Not Rated (but contains smut), 29k+ words, 8 chapters, Uncompleted, https://archiveofourown.org/works/40577820/chapters/101662038

Keep Sweet, Pray, and Obey by PhoenixTalon - sweet fucking jesus this fic. Sexual awakening, after religiously imposed ignorance. Chrissy is curious, Eddie is her teacher. Need I say more. This fic is phenomenal. It is art. I scream every time I see it has updated. Eddie Munson/Chrissy Cunningham, Rated E, 30k+ words, 10/12 Chapters, Uncompleted, https://archiveofourown.org/works/40226778/chapters/100755876

The Afterglow by Natattack95 - no fic list of mine with these two would be complete without a little teen pregnancy AU. Idk why I’m a sucker for this so much. Maybe I just like protective Eddie, maybe I just like Dad!Eddie (that man is a GIRL DAD through and through and man oh man does he love his girls, I will be taking zero comments about this at this time) Anyway these two silly billys accidentally make a baby after spending all of spring break together, and they are working it out, giving Chrissy’s mother the middle finger and IT’S ALL GONNNA BE FINE. I love this fic lots and everyday I hope it’s gonna update. Eddie Munson/Chrissy Cunningham, Rated E, 36k+ words, 8 Chapters, Uncompleted, https://archiveofourown.org/works/39741828/chapters/99496110

Marigold by hangonsilvergirl - Jason buggers off for three weeks and Chrissy takes the opportunity to be free, sneaks out and heads to the gas station for some real food where she runs into our favourite resident metalhead. The definition of kissing (plus a little bit more 😉) in the rain. I read this all in a one yesterday and I’m in love. The characterisations of them are just so spot on and I just love it so much. Rated M, 21k+ words, 4 chapters, Incomplete, https://archiveofourown.org/works/40952697/chapters/102630213

And that’s your lot for now. There are a couple more very explicit ones that I’m loving rn but I’m feeling just a little too self conscious to rec them. Send me a DM if you wanna know what they are.

I have just turned into absolute garbage for these two over the past few months and they are very near and dear to my heart now.



[junibugs]

girl sometimes I have the urge to start writing (including smut) but i actually cannot bring myself to do it like a) i feel it its gonna be mid and b) I genuinely cannot think of how to wrtie smut properly like I read all yalls other ppls stuff and Im like "damn some girl in they room write a novel Shakespeare would cry at". Im also somehow embaressed at the though of writing smut and kinda have the digital footprint fear and am afraid ppl irl would find it, so how did you feel when you started?

when i started my number one fear was definitely being scared that the people i know irl would find me, but thankfully tumblr is a niche enough app/website where i know good and well no one i know irl is gonna be on here unless they're equally as weird as me. second, i adopted a pseudonym (june is my middle name) just to further disconnect myself it because i was so embarrassed about writing smut at the time.

...

when it comes to writing it, what i find works best for me and flows best for me personally is reading the sentences in my head before i type/write them down. if a sentence flows and sounds good when you speak it, chances are it will sound good written down.

when i write, i don't try too hard to sound poetic or smart or anything like that, i try to sound moreso as real as possible. this is kinda off topic, but if youve seen the film 'little women' the scene where amy tells laurie that he's "being mean" is an example where simple language can be the most effective. "mean" is an easy word, not very descriptive, but it's what a real person would use in that situation.

i don't try to sound like anyone other than myself when i write, and sometimes that comes off juvenile, or sounds like jibberish, becomes so specific and niche that people can pinpoint exactly what i'm talking about, or is so broad that no one but me has a fucking clue.

on the digital footprint part; i promise you that unless you post some seriously concerning content that is directly connected to you, that no one is gonna come up to you and tell you "no you cant have this job because you write porn for fictional characters".

theres little to no worry surrounding someone you know irl finding your fanfiction, but rather someone who knows you from fanfiction finding you irl! but in that instance, they already know ur weird and silly so like... dont worry

[zooone]

HIII ZONE I MISSED TALKING TO YOU SO MUCH :D

Five six and twenty two for the ask game perhaps?

HELLO SARDONIC!!!

5 - what made you start your blog?

there was nothing new on other fic sites. id always see the same old stuff so i thought id give tumblr a try (mistake number one) and i ended up really liking the little community that was wilbur fanfics so i wanted to give it a little try ^_^

6 - what’s the best and worst part of being online/a creator?

both answers; the people. for best, oh my god i love all of my little (literally) mutuals!! they are so fun and they can tolerate my silliness. and seeing people supportive of my work is such a nice little feeling

but also, the people here are not the best. irl and in social circles i am the type of person who wont let anything slide really and if someone fucks up, it ruins my perception of them forever. the phrase "forgive and forget" ive never known bro. and since i am a little bit more well known (kinda) its hard to pretend that i dont have neg feelings about another person online cuz i dont wanna cause an entire discourse

22 - say 3 things about someone you love

this is for florence @harbingerofheartbreak bcuz i love her and she is a little bit headachey right now so i hope she can wake up to this ^_^

they will be under the cut cuz wow this is getting long

one - flore listens to me all the time no matter what . if im telling her a stupid little idea i had, if im telling her about my silly little niece, or if im literally telling her about my issues she'll always listen!!! even if im loopy or if im so incoherent that my sentences have 37 spelling mistakes and 42 made up words despite the sentence only being 13 words long, bro will listen 😭😭 its insane

FREE HER!!!

two - we are so incredibly delusional we have an entire world built around just made up people we've created and the shock factor for me is that we didn't make them for writing or literature purposes it was literally just to have fun and be delulu . like if it were any other person i definitely would have shared c**** out into the world but since flore has just been so so so sweet and so supportive i didnt have the issue of wantjng attention to be on my writing because she gave it to me!!!

three - the reason we started talking to begin with (and this is still so funny to me) was because a sweet sweet anon was giving me fic recs and one of them was hers and i was such a little fan girl of her writing style that i just absolutely love bombed her and she went in the dms saying thank you. one of the scariest dms ive ever gotten . and then i proofread her fic yours now and forever (which is getting rewritten and posted soon!!!! and ive read and confirmed the ideas aand lemme tell you it is good good. all of you better read it when it comes out) and i was still being a little fan girl and she said "bro i dont care please stop i just asked you one question" (word for word what she said /j) and after she asked me if she should read tcfsv, we became best pals!!!

okay i did not mean for this to become a flore appreciatiob post but thank you very much sardonic for the ask ^_^ hope all has been well

[seriouslysam8]

I know it probably doesn’t mean anything to you, but when I wake up on every Sunday morning, the first thing I do is check my phone and tumblr to see if the last chapter of Legerdemain is posted. I love hinny in that story so much and I really want to see them have a proper ending. You put so much work into Legerdemain, and so much work into MOT, so I hope you do give not only the story, but the entire series a very much deserved finale. I feel like the closure is needed. I know your motivation is gone and it makes me so sad that you couldn’t keep going with it, but I hope you know that whether it takes a month, or two months, or a year, I will still read the final chapter. I truly hope you can write a proper ending for MOT, because you put so much blood sweat and tears into it and I think your work deserves a happy ending. I wish you the best of luck with your new series, and as an author and mother and person in general. MOT got me through some very sad and scary times of my life, and if you do finish it, it would make my heart and soul so happy. And I hope it will make you happy if you can complete it and be proud of your work, because you should be so proud. 💗💗💗

I had a very long winded reply written but I edited it down because you guys don’t need me to go on a soapbox.

Anyway…

It does matter to me. I’m so glad that there are still people who enjoyed the story so much that they check back weekly for the update. By the same token, it upsets me that I have lost all my motivation to give those readers the opportunity for closure.

Here’s the thing, if you like a story, just review. Say “love it!” And if there’s a chapter you really love, then add another sentence. I often say one of my favorite reviewers is scrappy8. They review every chapter with something simple. If you really have a good chapter, they add more. It’s like a fun little game I play as to how I can get scrappy to say more than two words. It’s also just damn inspirational and motivating to go back and see how many reviews you get in a chapter and then reread them (which is why I ask for reviews on the story and not just tumblr comments so I can go back and read). But not all reviews are good. If I get a terrible review, it stays with me. It makes me upset. So if you have something nasty to say, click the x and keep it to yourself.

What I’m trying to say is engagement is why I write and share with you guys. I want to engage with you. It’s why I created a tumblr even though I’m not a big fan of social media. I’m not on any other social media platforms really. I have no idea if you’re one of my casual reviewers, loyal reviewers, or never reviewers because you’re anonymous. But if you don’t review, start reviewing. You can’t expect someone to spend hours upon hours of their time to write a story and want to continue doing it when they get a shit ton of negativity or their reviews start to dwindle. My motivation is gone, so much so that I’ve abandoned this entire series and want something new.

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, the moment this stops being fun is the moment I’m done posting. I’ll always write, but I’ll keep it in my head or I’ll try my hand at original stories or something. It’s only fun for me when I get engagement because I do not get paid. My payment is literally engaging with you guys. That’s all I want.

I don’t read a lot, but if I’m reading, you know I’m reading your stories because I always review. Even if I don’t know what to say and give you a sentence, I review. It’s hard for me to review, I get it. I’m socially awkward and I have fears people will think I’m stupid or silly, but I work hard to get out of my comfort zone and review. I’m on both Hinny discords but rarely talk because I’m nervous to speak because what if I’m seen as dumb? Sometimes it’s hard for me to answer your asks because I’m anxious I’ll say the wrong thing or didn’t think something through (which has happened plenty of times where I’ve deleted asks because I did say something stupid because I was so fucking nervous) or whatever but I try to push past it because I understand if I want engagement, I have to give engagement. It’s the same for you guys. You want stories, you have to engage too. I started to feel like I was in a non-paying job for awhile with Legerdemain. I was just getting shit for Rayly, shit for Lily, shit for the divorce, shit for veering from canon while refreshing my mail waiting for something positive.

What I’m trying to say in this shortened down long winded speech is that I hear you. You are disappointed. But nobody is more disappointed than me. This story I spent a year on, giving literally so much time and effort into crafting and writing, has lost its sparkle. I let the negativity and the decrease reviews upset me. It just wasn’t fun anymore.

I hope to find the motivation to write that last chapter. I’m really trying, but I open the document and just stare at it.

[selccuth]

KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER.

REPOST DO NOT REBLOG !!

NAME: Bunny! 🐇

PRONOUNS: she/her/they

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION: Discord and Twitter. I would say here, but I come here to check when I have no replies once every century apparently, so if you’re looking to reach me and me actually notice before hell freezes over, I quick glance check both every day at the very least.

NAME OF MUSE(S): Bellamy, Ideo, Lulubelle, Pica, and Whitebeard! And, if you know me and my history or just click around my carrd a little bit, you can find my secret little menu for some request-only muses!

RP EXPERIENCE/HOW LONG (MONTHS / YEARS?): I’ve been on Tumblr basically since it became a thing, give or take a year or two, moving over from deviantART’s comments and blog posts. This was back during the old layout, when you typed in a little box and all your options were just above it instead of highlighting to bold/italics and such. You know, when ask blogs were way more popular than RP blogs. So I’ve been writing personally for at LEAST 15 years, and on tumblr maybe about 12 to be generous.

BEST EXPERIENCE: Difficult to say, since I’ve had so many wonderful experiences with so many people. Everyone I’ve met here over the years has been so talented and inspiring, it’s hard for me to pick just one experience that stands out above the others. Not because nothing catches my eye, but because EVERYTHING catches my eye. It’s like looking up at the stars - you never really focus on one, you want to scan the entire sky and admire all of them.

RP PET PEEVES/DEALBREAKERS: Super excessive negativity ( like to an incredibly concerning and constant degree, it’s okay to be down and out sometimes, I just have a bad history ), the usual peeves of the general RP community ( aesthetics over writing, godmodding, you know ), blatant hate of any kind, not respecting or even reading my blog rules and vice versa ( trust me, people can easily tell ). Tbh there isn’t much that bugs me to such a degree that it’s an immediate deal breaker on everything, but patience has a limit, even in the most patient of people.

FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT: All three! Like many I write fluff and angst most often with smut taking the back seat since I’m not in many situations where I can comfortably write it ( save to and for myself since that’s guaranteed okay ). That doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy it when I can, however! I could basically live my entire life on fluff, though, and any kind of cheesy, cliché, silly softness or romance or whatever have you absolutely destroys me every single time. I love it.

PLOTS OR MEMES: Both! Usually when it comes to threads, I’m often winging it and going with whatever happens from even the most simplistic of starts, either a few sentences or a meme. I find that the interaction, being unpredictable and uncertain, makes it feel more like reality not knowing what will come and develop, and it really brings situations to life. I know not everyone is into that, however, and enjoy having a goal to work towards. That being said, I love to plot as well! I’ll talk your ear off about potential roads and relationships. I’ll talk into the night, into the morning, into eternity. Think I won’t - you’d be wrong. I’ll happily plot out entire histories and bonds to gear our threads towards without a second thought.

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: Long replies all the way. It does take longer for me compared to short ones, but I love the detail, the intricacy, the fruition of an interaction to the point it makes it feel real. Short replies are always great, though, especially since they allow me to be more active more consistently than spending hours on the same reply. All interaction is good interaction.

BEST TIME TO WRITE: Really depends on my current schedule. Since I don’t really adhere to any unless I have things planned in the coming days, sometimes I’m awake super late at night and into the morning and other days I’m an early bird. Usually, though, I do most of my writing during the former, when most people are asleep, and I’m the little gremlin that’s still awake cause I have inspiration at 4AM. When I’m a normal human being, I also tend to write in the morning or during the afternoon, since I usually conk out on those days super early.

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S): Debatable. I at least consider myself to be kind, which applies to 4/5 of my muses, and all of them in special situations. I think most people see me as a very peculiar blend of Lulu and Pica, former more prominent. When it comes to public face, I’m very quiet and shy and I don’t talk very much at all. Normally I don’t care to deal with people, or even be vocal at all, especially as the way I sound on top of many other things, has been the butt of many a joke. With friends and online though, you can’t get me to shut up, and I love you. I’ve opened up a lot as I’ve gotten older and, hopefully, matured a bit, but I’m sure you can still see a bit of both.

tagged: yoink​

[smartass-hoot]

you asked me so i’ve gotta ask you back! we’ve been following each other for a bit so keen to know more about you too!

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you. learn to know your mutuals and followers. I hope you're having an amazing day/night!!

love the posts you’ve got going! and yes striking kuroo out lol it wasn’t. choice but a need ahahahah ❤️

eyyy!!! (i call you nylon in my head but if you want me to call you smth else just lemme know <3)

whenever plans get cancelled and i get to stay at home / relax i am THE HAPPIEST PERSON ON EARTH SKJDFNSDKJFSK like there's nothing better than being told that one extra class is cancelled or you don't have to do smth exhausting

animals. literally any animal ever. it could be a snake and i'll just be walking over and cooing at it and trying to pet it. and just watching animals do their silly little thing is so fun and serotonin boosting

whenever i write something that feels GOOD, like a really awesome sentence, i'll most probably spend the rest of my day smiling like an idiot and re-reading that one sentence lmao

FINDING A NEW MANGA THAT IS SO GOOD IT BLOWS MY MIND AND I GO ON AO3 TO FIND SO MANY FICS + TUMBLR ALSO HAS A LOT OF MEMES AND TIS THE BEST THING EVER AND IT ALSO INSPIRES ME TO MAKE MORE CONTENT MYSELF AND— *gestures to mairuma and yuumori*

finding a good meme account to binge laugh at bc i have a broken sense of humour and i love laughing so hard that i can't breathe and i have stitches in my sides skjdsndknfdskj

and hell yeah!!! i love your posts so much too haha, you're a true connoisseur of memes <3

[mars-langblr]

Japanese Langblr Introduction

はじめまして！Welcome to my blog! ♡( ◡‿◡ )

Basic Information

- Mars, 20, she/they

- California, USA 🌎

- Fluent in English

- I used to be somewhat fluent in Portuguese (Iberian) as a young child but lost it when my mother began to only speak to me in English lol

- Currently doing self-study and Japanese college course 

Why I Started

I think the Japanese language is so beautiful. I know it sounds silly, but every minute I spend learning it feels like I’m uncovering some sort of hidden treasure! This is why I believe it is the language I was meant to learn, and I believe that this love for Japanese will continue to push me to be persistent in my learning. 

Growing up, Japanese was always a language that I had in the back of my mind. I’ve always admired Japan and their culture… it’s been a very consistent hyper-fixation of mine. However, I never pursued the language because everyone said it was “too hard”. I think that’s a silly reason to not do something you’re passionate about.

I’m still very much a beginner as I’m writing this introduction. To put it into perspective, I’m still mastering basic sentence structure, basic vocab, and I’m just beginning to learn some Kanji. I’d love to be able to take the N5 JPLT before I’m 21. I feel like that’s a very reasonable goal, especially considering how often I study!

Since none of my family/community speaks Japanese, I try to immerse myself in the language as much as possible in creative ways. I’ve picked up lots of little tricks to make sure that I am seeing/hearing Japanese a few times per hour throughout my day lol. I love tumblr, and I got really excited upon discovering Japanese Langblr! I used to spend more time on the Reddit Japanese Learning community, but people are kinda rude and blunt on Reddit. >_< This community seems really friendly and I’d love to be a part of it.

Blog Content

- progress/diary entries pertaining to my learning

- general pinboard for Japanese

- study tips

- questions/discussion posts

Other Fun Info About Me

- I love anime (you could probably guess)! Here are my top favorites:

Hunter x Hunter (2011)

Neon Genesis Evangelion

Death Note

Ghibli

Jujutsu Kaisen

Attack on Titan

NANA

Banana Fish

- I can make a killer Japanese Strawberry Shortcake. I actually have it in the oven as I’m writing this. hmu if you want the recipe lol

- I’m a Communication major

- My favorite musicians/bands are Lorde, Mitski, Phoebe Bridgers, Kikuo, YOASOBI, Sky Ferreira, Poppy, and Kero Kero Bonito! I’ve also recently gotten into Kpop like Le Sserafim, Stray Kids, TXT, and Red Velvet <3

- I play guitar! (I mostly use my pink Fender Jaguar if anyone is curious tehe)

よろしくおねがいします ！

Please reply if you’re also on Japanese Langblr, I’m trying to find more people to become mutuals with!

[yona-n-d-happy-hungry-bunch]

Realised lately that fan wars, ship wars, country wars, any kind of wars in this world will never end.

You see there are sorts of people out there. Nice ones, bad ones, good people, awesome ones, and toxic ones, the sick in the head ones and considerate people. Everyone having their own opinions from their own experiences, teachings, etc etc. Its hard to find a single train of thought among all.

So what I want say is.. this manga or any other, any movie or a drama, we read/watch for entertainment. It's something not real. It's made up. A fiction. An imagination of the writer wants/sees the world to be. Since it's for entertainment, we should just enjoy. If we can't enjoy a particular manga, find something else and move on. Let's not force our ideologies on others. Everyone has their own opinion for their own reasons. Some read it for politics, some for the romance, some for humor, while others for the found family, while yet others for everything it the story has to give. So let's be and let's others be.

Life is too short to be fighting and clashing over something so silly. It's just an imaginary story people, written by someone, totally fictional. If we need to argue and fight, argue over something real. Something that matters. This is just so not worth it.!

Our ships might be different, so can be our boats and seas. That does not give us an excuse to force ourselves on others. That's just pathetic. Find and mingle with like minded people. If you're toxic, find equally toxic group. If you're nice, find nicer people. Let's not go around hurting others, mocking, looking down, fighting, clashing.

What are we? Some kind of internet thugs?? Sure thug sounds cool, but still let's not do it.

I, for one do not like my mood ruined by some random stranger over internet, who I don't know and probably will never know. So why bother?

I'm reflecting on myself too, for I, jumping on others bandwagon, made a post for fun. I mocked. I kindly deleted it, otherwise I'd be a hypocrite right?

Excuse me, English isn't my first language and my writing is sloppy. The words and sentences I chose are not as cool as a lot of people out here. And somewhere somehow while writing I probably sidetracked and wrote something else entirely. But I mean every little thing I wrote. As long as I can get my point across.

Looking back, I joined Tumblr for fun. I'm not a social media person. I don't use any. I carefully chose Tumblr, a place I can interact about my fictional and real world. I've been interacting with people here more by the day and it brings a smile to my face. It's my side comfort-fun place. I do not want such a place to be filled with negativity. Want to continue having fun daily with folks out here. I'd like everyone who is reading this, to do the same. In your own world, in your life, in your social media. Because life is too short. Do not come at me saying I'm forcing my thoughts on you. NO. It's like an invitation which you can gladly reject.

To all the people who get asks, messages that clash with your beliefs, with your ships and boats and seas, that disturb the peace of ur heart, JUST IGNORE IT. Turn a blind eye and continue to walk your way. Because it's not worth a dime.

This post could definitely irk some people. Like they say, you cannot please everyone.

Have a wonderful day 🌼

[shegairowmyamo]

Yandere Turbo x Reader headcanons

ok so im done waiting to try and get a second tumblr account so i'm just gonna post it heer and bicehouse i know that there are gonna be those who are STARVING for content like this and i'm one of those so i decided to make it myself. I'm dipping my toes in the diper end of the pool now but you know, baby steps. Besides, I'm thinking of doing more things like this but this has all been for fun but i will warn you that i'm not used to writing a lot of lovey dovey stuff. I hope you enjoy it.

If you're sly enough maybe you can get this guy rapt around your finger but believe me or not, Turbo is smart but his jealousy can get the best of him. If the backstory that Felix told Calhoun told us anything is that Turbo will do anything to get rid of computision, so who isn't to say that he would go at the same lengths for you too.

He doesn't trust you with ALLOT of the residents of the arcade, some of the onley few is Felix and “maybe” the Twins™ and perhaps even Tapper for whatever reason.

If he ever sees you talking to another person he will 1. Assume that the one who is talking to you was the one to start the conversation: and hopefully 2. Try and restrain his obvious jealousy and rage with a strained smile and and not going all out yelling at the purson: 3. “Calmly” walk up to the heathen who dares come close to his prize possession. Now this is fun and all to imagine but what if the heathen was hitting on you… In which this bitches jealousy will go true the roof and all logic goes out the window he will go in, engines roaring his car to life (idk how cars work but this sounds cool) as he sweeps in.

Oh you could smell the burning hot jealousy from a mile away, and now that i think about it… It smells like burnt rubber… Basically what i'm getting at here is that Turbo would totally run this jackass over. He will receive a death glare everytime Turbo sees the ass hat. Menttoly declaring him as a threat and putting him on his bucket list of games to unplug.

The aftermath of all this would either be just him having an arm around your waist for the rest of the night and when someone comes too close for his liking He will pull you closer to him “for protection” as he puts it. Or you would have to go into one of your games and calm him down because Turbo is having a full blown attack of some kind. He's repeating words and sometimes sentences, he's holding you close while his vision is blurry from the amount of rage he feels. Being mad at that no good loser for daring getting close to you yada yada. He demands and expects to be cuddled and kissed while being told how great he is and how you're never leaving him.

This (gremlin) man would unplugged any game for you even if its just “because that character was mean to me :(“ and he will be like (idk how to write a character with a lisp) “don't worry babe you don't need to worry about that asshole for mutch long” cue evil laughter. But as silly as that sounded we both know his intention, and they are far from silly.

Turbo sometimes has a hard time hiding the 8-bit hearts that pop out of into the air surrounding him and in his eyes, especially the time he realized he was “in love” with you. And then it turned into an obsession and became overly possessive over you. He will do like that thing where he will just ask for a hug out of nower to get your attention and out of your line of sight he will stare down the person you were talking to. It is creapy as fuck but also cinda hot.. I mean like yah having someone wanting to be with you 24/7 can sound kinda exhausting but the image of him being so protective over someone just makes me swoon you know what i mean.

The first person you're going to see when you exit your game is obviously Turbo, he will be just casually leaning on a wall asking what took you so long in a playful manner. And then he will casually just ask you if you want to go to Tappers or some other game to hangout in while ignoring any protest or excuses that you tell him. But don't be fooled by his careless demeanor because he will store those little protests in a jar of grudges.

If i had to guess this man's love languages it would be words of affirmation and his close second being receiving gifts. So inflating his ego might not be such a bad thing on your part. But on everybody else's “whistle”. If anything it would help you survive this guy from anything getting out of hand if you were to refuse him too many times. One day right after closing time he will insist that you must be so tired and that you should hang out in his game for the night but after you both get there and Turbo make sure that there are no witnesses he will knock your lights out. And even if there were witnesses it would probably be just one or both of the twins. But they both have noticed the change in Turbo and his increased aggressive behavior and they didn't wanna get involved so they both agreed to keep quiet. Man it seems that everyone in Turbo Time is a selfish git.

The absence of you in your game forste Litwick to unplug it for good which makes your home just a memory of the retro past. Turbo with a sinisterly joyful smile on his face watches as your expresion turns even more sorrowful and helpless when he tells you the news. The twins have this sinking feeling ever since the day they saw you get kidnapped and after your game got unplugged it got even worse but it made them more determined to beat Turbo in the races they have as their own revenge. But a part of them feared that all that anger was gonna get taken out on you and it was confirmed one specific day when Turbo went to mod knows where and came back a few hours later with blood on his knuckles. After that they backed down with the whole winning thing a little just for your sake.

One day tho one of the twins were looking for something when he heard heavy breathing coming from one of the places in Turbo Time that he usually didn't go to, whoever was there heard him and abruptly stopped. It encuregd him to wallck kloser to the noise and when he did, oh boi. The piercing eyes of a tied up purson (aka you) stared at him in disbelief and fear. Thinking at first that they were Turbo but when you realized that it was one of the twins your eyes soon changed to desporation. Releasing now what the twin had stumbled upon he quickly retreated, the desporet cry and anguished scream for his help still haunt him especially those eyes. What did Turbo do to you…

Turbo at this point only sees you as an object, his prize possession but he would never harm you at least not physically. He wants to keep his winners cup spotless, that includes any dents or bruises. And the bloody knuckles are just from him punching the wall right beside your head to scare you and to get his point across if it wasn't obvious from the start.

[jesus-otaku]

Title: Peculiar Familiarity (part 6)

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug

Pairing: Marichat

Word count: 2241

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

A long-overdue update for a giveaway prize for @kwiibi-blog​. I feel so bad about this just sitting in my folder for so long. (I typed this part up like 2 years ago during the time I was away from Tumblr and completely neglected to post it.) I really hope the long wait has been worth it.

I mentioned this when updating the fic on AO3 so I’ll mention it here as well: I am no longer nearly as active in the ML fandom as I used to be. There is so much fandom salt and drama that it has been hard to find the same initial joy I had for creating ML content. Most of my writing lately has been for original projects rather than fanfic. But because I hate leaving things incomplete, and I think everyone reading my fics deserves to get the endings they’ve waited for, I am trying very hard to regain my lost motivation. My goal is to at least wrap up the multi-part fics I started, even if I don’t necessarily write the other fics I originally had planned. Any questions about this can be directed to my ask box!

“Something about Marinette was off tonight. Something beyond the mess of deciding whose hand he was going to kiss.”

________________________

“You've been keeping secrets from me, Princess,” Chat Noir sang as he dropped through the trapdoor into Marinette's room.

She whirled away from her desk to look up at him, and her face was white as a sheet. “S-secrets? What secrets?” Her lips were twitching up in an attempt at a smile, but it was very obviously fake. “I—I'm not keeping any secrets, don't be silly! I mean, why would I not have told you that I was—I mean—that is, if I was—I mean—nope, no secrets here!” She broke into nervous laughter. “None whatsoever.” Then, hesitantly, she asked, “Why do you say that?”

Chat was a little taken aback. That was a much more…intense reaction than he had been expecting. He climbed down the loft ladder to join her at her desk. Leaning on the desk with one hand, he replied, “You never told me you and Ladybug were in touch with each other.”

Marinette gaped at him. It must not have been what she had thought he was going to say, because some of the color slowly started to return to her face. “That's—I—you never asked.”

“No,” he agreed, “but when you said I should talk to Ladybug about the whole hand-kissing thing, that—you could have just told her yourself.” It would have spared him a lot of embarrassment, that was for sure.

She fidgeted uncomfortably. “I think it was better that she heard it from you,” she replied. “Otherwise it might have made it seem like you were avoiding her.”

He hesitated. She did have a point there. And embarrassment or not, his conversation with Ladybug had cleared up a miscommunication he hadn't even realized they'd been having. “Still,” he said, “you could have at least said something.”

“You never asked,” Marinette countered. She leaned forward, propping her hands on her knees. “So, um, what did I—I mean, Ladybug say? About the hand-kissing thing, that is?”

Chat gave her a thumbs up with a smile. “She gave it the all-clear. Hand kisses are now exclusively yours, Princess.”

She grinned back at him. “Lucky me. But that wasn't exactly what I meant.”

He frowned in confusion. “What?”

“I never said you had to ask her permission,” she pointed out. She folded her hands in her lap. “I just said you needed to tell her you were going to stop kissing her hand. Did she say anything about you stopping?”

Great. Not only was Ladybug going to kill him by asking about his relationship with Marinette, now Marinette was going to kill him by asking about his relationship with Ladybug. He was so, so doomed. “She said I didn't have to,” he answered slowly, watching her to see her reaction. “She would have been okay with me kissing both your hand and hers. But I didn't want to do that to you after saying I would make it a you-and-me thing only.”

All of the color had returned to Marinette's face now, and if it hadn't been for the fact she had been so white just a minute ago, he would have thought he saw a dusting of pink on her cheeks. He quashed it instead as the act of an overactive, hopeful imagination. She'd been so pale that the natural flush of her face probably just looked overly pinkish by comparison. “Thank you,” she mumbled. A little clearer, she added, “It means a lot, you know. That you would change your dynamic with Ladybug just for me.”

Feeling suddenly very embarrassed, Chat looked around the room at just about everything except for Marinette. His eyes locked with the little black stuffed cat that perched on the shelf above her desk. He rubbed at the back of his neck. “You don't have to thank me for anything. It's not like things are going to change between me and Ladybug, not really.” But then he remembered that odd look of resignation that had been in Ladybug's eyes last night, and he had to wonder if things wouldn't change even the tiniest bit. She'd almost seemed upset.

As if she could read his mind, Marinette asked, “Are you sure about that? We—You two seem pretty close.”

“We're still going to be friends,” he replied, hating that word—friends—just a little less than he would have expected to. His friendship with his lady had always come first, no matter how badly he wanted to be something more. That priority had somehow become clearer the more time he had spent with Marinette. He waved a hand dismissively, as if her concern were a minor one. “A little thing like kissing your hand won't change that.” Oh, but that look in Ladybug's eyes last night…

A tiny smile made its way onto her face. “Ladybug is really lucky to have a friend like you. I would've been a lot more worried about things changing than you are.”

He braced his baton against the floor and leaned forward on it. “Maybe you can put in a good word for me, then, Princess. Since you're friends with her, too.” God, what was coming out of his mouth? He was going to be the end of himself, pursuing a conversation like this. But still, he couldn't stop himself from continuing. “I'm sure if you sing my praises, she'll reconsider my romantic advances.”

The statement startled a laugh out of her. “Okay, I take it back,” she giggled. “She's lucky, but she's not that lucky.”

Well, ouch.

Even though he knew Marinette meant it only in good fun, and that she would never intentionally say something to hurt someone else—out of all the people he'd met, she was one of the most well-attuned to preventing akuma attacks—her reply stung. So much so that his heart may as well have physically ached. The amusement he'd allowed to creep onto his face was gone in an instant. “What's that supposed to mean?”

Her expression dropped into horror. Had she not realized what she was saying? “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make it sound like that—I was just—you're great, but—um, you and Ladybug are—we're—I mean—ugh, I don't know what I mean anymore.” She buried her face in her hands, and there was a definite pink tinge to her cheeks now beneath her fingers.

Something about Marinette was off tonight. Something beyond the mess of deciding whose hand he was going to kiss. He was stunned it had taken him this long to realize it. Chat Noir tucked away his baton and went to kneel in front of her chair.

“Hey, Princess,” he coaxed softly. She peeked out at him from between her fingers. That much, at least, was encouraging. “What's wrong? Forget about me and Ladybug for a second. Did something happen?”

Her eyes scanned his; for what, he wasn't sure. Slowly, her hands slipped away from her face, and she set them back in her lap. She sighed as if resigning herself to something. Her gaze dropped to the floor between the two of them. “It's just—well, I have this…friend. And he's a great friend, don't get me wrong,” she added hastily, before he could have even thought to comment. “I'd trust him with anything, no matter what.”

“But…?” he prompted. There was obviously a “but” coming.

She gave a halfhearted sort of shrug. “I don't know. It just feels like things are…weird between us right now.” Her eyes were still glued on the floor as she began twisting her fingers around each other in her lap. “Like he's…I don't know, distant?”

He hoped she wasn't talking about him as Adrien. He'd done his damnedest to get closer to her, to make her feel more comfortable around him, to see at least some inkling of the way she acted around Chat in her interactions with Adrien. Those attempts had so far only ended in more pronounced stammering and occasional awkward laughter. It wouldn't have entirely surprised him if she was referring to him as Adrien.

He just really, really didn't want to be the one she was referring to.

Marinette seemed to take his pensive, anxious silence as a sign to continue, because she kept talking. Almost like she couldn't stop herself. “And I guess I just can't help wondering if maybe there's something that I did, or if there's something else going on in his life that I don't know about, or if he's just sick of hanging out with me.”

Chat took one of her hands in his before she could wring her fingers white. Her eyes finally snapped up to meet his again. “If he's sick of hanging out with you, then he's an idiot,” he said, with far more feeling than he had originally intended to put into his sentence. “You're amazing, Marinette. Anyone would be lucky to call you their friend.” He gave her hand a squeeze. “I know I am.”

That tiny little smile made its way back onto her face, just enough to lift the corners of her lips out of miserable worry. So gently that he almost thought he imagined it, she squeezed his hand back. “Thanks, Chat Noir.”

Kneeling there with her hand in his, he almost kissed her hand before coming to his senses and shooting her a wink instead. Even with both her and Ladybug's permission, he couldn't just go around kissing her hand willy-nilly. “Anytime. It's a knight's sworn duty to protect his princess, even from her own self-doubt.” The comment made her smile spread wider, and the weight of worry lifted from his chest.

And it was strange, how much this reminded him of another time, with another girl, begging her to believe in him and in herself when she hadn't thought she could be enough.

Then Marinette was getting to her feet, her hand was sliding away from his, and the moment of familiarity was gone. “So,” she said, “are you up for being walloped at Ultimate Mecha Strike 3 tonight?”

He wanted to say yes so very badly. Wanted to prove that he'd meant what he'd said, that anyone who didn't want to hang out with her was an idiot. But curse it all, he had a photo shoot tomorrow morning at eight and he would never hear the end of it from his father if he showed up at his photo shoot with anything less than a full night's rest.

“I wish I could stay,” he said, trying to infuse as much regret into the words as possible. Her smile still dropped. He cursed the name of photo shoots everywhere in his head. “Unfortunately, I have a prior engagement with my bed. I've got someplace I have to be early tomorrow, and I need my cat nap or I'll never make it through the day.”

Her nose scrunched up in distaste at the prospect of getting up early during a weekend. “On a Saturday?” she asked incredulously. “That just sounds like some form of torture.”

Chat grinned. At least they were of the same mind on that point. “It probably will be, but a commitment is a commitment. I'm a cat of my word.” He stood and began to back his way towards the ladder to the trapdoor. “I can come back tomorrow night,” he added hopefully. He didn't usually visit two nights in a row, but since this visit was so short, maybe… “And you could wallop me then.”

“Bring plenty of fighting spirit, because I've been practicing,” she replied, smiling once again. He was struck for the hundredth time by how very familiar the teasing tone of her voice was, and not because he had heard it from her so often now as Chat. When he took another step back towards the ladder, she asked, “Aren't you forgetting something, Chat Noir?” Her smile had turned impish.

It took him an embarrassingly long moment of staring to realize what she was referring to. By the time he had put two and two together, she had already stepped closer to him and offered her hand. “Oh. Right. How foolish of me.” He took her hand in his and couldn't help marveling at how well their hands fit together. Almost exactly like his and Ladybug's did.

But Marinette wouldn't push him away from the gesture, not tonight and not in the future. That wasn't who the two of them were together. Marinette wasn't Ladybug, and he was a little bit of a different Chat Noir when he was with her. Not as flirty, not as hopeful, not as self-aggrandizing.

If he thought about it, maybe he as Chat Noir acted the way he wished he as Adrien could act with Marinette.

Minus the hand-kissing, of course.

He pressed his lips to her hand, lingering just a moment longer than was really necessary. Her skin was warm beneath his touch, and there was the faintest scent of the bakery clinging to her. It almost made him not want to pull away.

He did still have to get up early in the morning, though, so he forced himself to straighten and release her hand. She had already agreed that he could come back tomorrow. This was only goodbye for a day. He'd survived longer than that without her before. Chat swept her a bow. “Until tomorrow, Princess.”

Her smile spread into that glimmer of sunlight that had nearly made his heart stop last time. It almost made his heart stop again now. “Until tomorrow, Chat Noir. And thank you.”