#it's just scary. i don't know what to do to make this Safer except for like. going everywhere with someone else

[trans-axolotl]

this week was actually probably the scariest seizure experience i've had so far i think. mostly because it happened outside late at night and i was out there an hour before anyone noticed. and it's like shit things already were pretty bad but how bad would have it gone if i had been out there for even longer. and it is just a lot. to have to think about "okay so this could happen at any time at any moment. if you are alone what are you going to do" and have to try to start planning. cause like. there are so many situations where i am alone bc i like. i have to go to work. i'm going to go grocery shopping. i just go out in public alone like. and it just isn't feasible for someone to constantly be with me. idk. i don't really know what to do but i'm trying to figure out anything i can do to make it safer so that i don't end up lying outside in the snow for over an hour again.

[thaenad]

Hey. I love your work so much on your other blog (and have even sent anons there) but since this one is more feedism-related than fat lib related I figured I’d send it here, I hope that’s okay.

Do you have any recommendations for people with this kink who are so deeply ashamed by it that they haven’t been able to tell anyone about it their entire lives? I’m alloace and never had a partner partially because the only sense of sexuality I have is this kink and I have always felt like that makes it almost impossible to truly connect with a partner without knowing 100% they’re into it beforehand. And yet, I have so much social anxiety that I hardly meet people period and given the shame surrounding this kink I kind of assume anyone who I’d really click with would never tell me they were also interested in this and wanted me to feed them unless we’re already in a relationship. I can’t even be open and honest with friends about it because I’m terrified of their judgement especially because I AM so pro-fat lib and have been so vocally around them and I dunno. U saw all those anons u got lol.

I dunno I’ve just resigned myself to never having that kind of intimacy but it’s hard sometimes when I know deep down that it’s what I want. Do you have any recommendations for what I can do to start being more open and honest about my sexuality and hopefully feel a lot less ashamed? (For the record I am very sex-positive, for everyone but me if that makes sense. Lmao.)

Hey there anon, it's absolutely okay! I'd love to have more of these conversations with fellow feedists on this blog, especially since it's a much safer space for all of us.

Oof. I just wanna reach through the screen and give you a great big hug. I can completely relate to what you're going through right now (also as an alloace). I struggled with the exact same fears before coming out to anyone 5-ish years ago. It's so hard to feel like you have to hide or deny such a big part of who you are, and I hope you're doing okay. Just sending me this ask is a great step towards self acceptance, because connecting with other people who get it can help so much. If you need to talk, my inbox and dms are always open. ❤️

I will say the most monumental step for me was talking about it out loud with someone. Although the shame may cause paranoia, I promise that you can tell your best friend and they will still love you. Yes, the backlash from fat libbers on the internet is scary, but they don't know us, we're just a concept to them. The people who know you already know that you are not a predator. The people who know you know your intentions are good, they love you, and they want to support you. If they listen to you with compassion when you express yourself other times, they will listen with compassion when you talk about this.

The fact that you are passionate about fat liberation means you have already crossed the biggest obstacle when it comes to self acceptance for feedists: knowing that there is nothing wrong with fatness. Most people take their entire lives to discover that fact (or never do), and you are already there. And from what it sounds like, you are surrounding yourself with fat positive friends. That's huge. Take a minute to celebrate yourself for that.

If you decide to open up about being a feedist to anyone, be selective. Fat positive people are safer because they already understand the basics. They already know you're passionate about fat lib, being a feedist won't negate that, it will make sense. Most people actually have no idea what feedism is, so you might have the chance to explain it for the first time in a way that is positive, and that can be incredibly validating and empowering.

The person you share this with will know how hard it is for you. The first time I opened up to my best friend about it, I wept on her shoulder. Nothing changed between us except I felt seen and supported, and now she sends me posts with food and teases me about fat guys, and we laugh about it, like she would with any friend. It's made me feel so much more close to normal.

If that feels impossible right now, that's okay. Keep talking to feedists online, keep seeking community. I had to make friendships with feedists years before I could even imagine telling my own friends. The more normal you feel, the less scarier it gets.

It can be really, really hard. I ended up seeking therapy because I was struggling so much with shame. I knew I needed it, but for years I put it off because I didn't know if I could trust a therapist, I thought they might diagnose me with a sexual disorder and try to give me conversion therapy! Needless to say, that was the shame talking. Fear can cause our minds to heighten things out of proportion. It also took years of conversations out loud with a friend or two to finally be able to talk about it in a therapy setting. This shit takes time. After I discovered fat liberation, flung myself into the research and dissolved some of my own fatphobia (the BIGGEST step of all!) I ended up searching for a fat-positive, kink-conscious therapist, and guess what? They exist! They are 100% sex positive, understand the principle of bodily autonomy and that health does not determine a person's worth, and will remind you of those things over and over. I still see my therapist, they've always been in my corner cheering me on. They've helped me through the shame and fear, and they've helped me navigate my sexual & romantic relationships as a feedist. It's one of the best decisions I have ever made for myself.

Here's a post I made on how to find feedist-friendly therapists.

"I have always felt like that makes it almost impossible to truly connect with a partner without knowing 100% they’re into it beforehand."

I feel the exact same way. It was so isolating and horrifying before I realized that I don't have to date non-feedists. I know this is something that will likely take a LOT of healing first, but I want to share my experience just so that you can see what a potential future looks like. First I tried dating on feabie, got into my first relationship, but it ended very badly for me. Again, it took a long time, but eventually, once I knew my self worth, knew that there are lots of people out there who will be into what I'm into, and could spot red flags, I was able to disclose my preference for feedism on regular dating apps. I didn't care what strangers thought. Some people asked me what it was all about, politely expressed that it wasn't for them, and we parted ways. It is such a relief to have potential partners know I'm a feedist up front. I eventually met my current partner and the love of my life on Hinge. I had feedism in my profile and he sent me a message saying, "hey! I'm into that too." If a feedist relationship is something you feel like you can't live without, I want you to know that it's possible for you. If you tell people what you're looking for, they will come. You'd be so, so suprised. But it takes a while to get there. The fact that you want it for yourself is huge, and I am so proud of you for reaching out for support.

Take it from someone who lied awake every night in agony, crying and worrying and wishing I just had someone out there to tell me that it was going to be okay.

Please know this, dear heart:

It's going to be okay. ❤️

[romanoffsbish]

A Safe Haven

WandaNat x Fem!R

Request | Prompt | 3,060 Words

Warnings: Injured R, Descriptions of Burns/Stabbings

Natasha and Wanda had gone out for the day, they shared a short brunch before setting off to go shop. They wanted to be prepared for your return tonight with all of your favorite things. It was your first official mission as an Avenger after Fury gave you the final go ahead, you were so excited when you left this afternoon, and they wanted to make the return just as special for you because it was only fair, as you were the only light in their lives most days.

—

Then they got a call, and suddenly a concerned Wanda was falling from the skies, landing back at the compound, and running in a frantic way to get to the med bay. Apparently you were waiting there, and Natasha agreed to purchase your things then meet her back there in about ten minutes, but she promised it'd be less.

"Bruce, I swear to god I will shove that needle into your jugular if you don't get the hell away from me! I can do it by my fucking self!"

Wanda wasn't really surprised to hear you screaming, you were never a fan of the clinical side of things, nor were you one for allowing others to see you in such a vulnerable state. Except for if it was with Nat or Wanda, that trust took a long time to build, so she rushed through the doors, and made a beeline for you.

Red wisps wrapped around your hand right as you managed to steal the syringe full of numbing drugs from the nervous scientist, you scowled deeply, but your body also visibly relaxed when your lovers presence became clear to you. You instantly felt safer...

"Moya lyubov, we don't stab our friends."

You growled, "He was going to do it first."

Wanda smirked at you, eyes of an intricate green never leaving yours as she nodded sideways at the sheepish man, he took her hint with a running start. The doors swinging as he left in a rush signaled to you he was gone, "What a pussy," you grumbled and Wanda snorted, "Play nice, he was trying to help."

Honestly, if you didn't see him shift into a giant green monster with your own eyes you'd never believe that Bruce Banner was the Hulk.

"He knows better Wands." She nodded with a hum to follow. "Yeah, but he also knows if he didn't try he'd have me and Nat to deal with, and I hate to break it to you, but we're scarier."

You gasped and pointed the syringe at her now, "Take it back little witch." She rolled her eyes, and literally took it back from you. "Done." She winked, you rolled your eyes, and shrieked, "Not what I meant Wands, I am way scarier!"

"Detka," she chuckled with a soft shake of her head, because as scary as you thought you looked, you truthfully didn't. With furrowed brows, a crinkled nose and an exaggerated pout, what she knew was meant to be an intimidating scowl, it only softened her heart. So, as was an inevitability she cursed at you, "You look adorable."

You gasped again, this time more loudly, and the heatless words died on your tongue as you felt a surge of pain. The adrenaline had faded.

Your body fell back against the bed, wrapped hands pawed at the sheets and tears began to stream down your face. Wanda's teasing smile fell, and for the first time since she had arrived she witnessed just how hurt you truly were.

There was ash all over your maroon suit, the flecks of charcoal white covered not only it but your face and hair. Fortunately your hands were already wrapped by someone, but the burns you had sustained were everywhere.

Where the white ash didn't reside, jagged holes in the suit took its place, showing the brunette your third degree burns. Then her eyes trailed further down your body, noticing the scrapes and bruises, and stopping in post haste on the saturated red gauze wrapped over your thigh. Her stomach flipped, seeing you in pain like this always hurt the empath just the same.

"It's okay," you whispered through gritted teeth, forcing yourself to sit back up so you could try to comfort the witch who's lip was now wobbling, but her hand softly pushed you back into the bed. "No, it really isn't."

You should honestly be fine; this was a simple recon mission, medical aid made no sense.

Wanda reached for a white rag from the cleaning station, she softly wiped your face clean, then she thoroughly wiped an unmarred portion of your shoulder clean. She smiled down at you, her thumb traced over your cheek and you instantly nodded. Giving her the silent permission to give you the magical shot to numb the pain, her lips touched yours just as you winced. A momentum picked up as you felt the ice rolling through your veins. Your body feeling as if you could party all night when it really belongs in the junkyard in this state.

Being the responsible party the witch pulled away, smiles pressed lightly together as she hesitates to truly part, but with immense strength she manages. "We need to fix you up now my love, let me do what needs to be done."

Wanda knew she'd have to soften your resolve some to allow her to use her powers like this.

After every mission she'd rush to either your or Natasha's side, use her powers to heal you just a bit, then she'd spend an entire day sleeping.

Then one really bad time put an end to this for a long while. When Nat was struck by a bullet, Wanda suddenly collapsed as Natasha's lungs partook in a miracle as they did the opposite.

"Y/N, don't worry," she quickly shushed you. "I'm going to make these third degree ones, and then I'll stop. I promise I'll be okay, I had Tony make these bracelets for me that help me better pull my energy. No more collapsing."

"C-careful Wan," you stuttered, the heat rolling through your body was still intense, even with the Novocain coursing through you, so you're desperate for her offered relief, but you would never allow it if you thought it would hurt her.

"I always am," she winked at you, then began to remove the rest of your suit. Her body stuttered as she really took the sight of you in.

"Why are you in this state Y/N," she wasn't accusatory, just concerned. "Where was Steve and Tony?" Your eyes widened, because the truth would only lead to the other's demise.

You'd considered lying to her, but even in your delirious state you knew better than to try. Nat probably already got the ear full from Hill, so you knew Wanda would have found out.

"They forgot I was there," you whispered the embarrassing truth so quietly, but you knew she heard it when her jaw clenched. "They triggered the bombs on the floors above me, but then after I shrieked into the coms they stopped and Tony flew up to save me."

"This isn't exactly saving," Wanda sneered. "Those idiots are in for a world of hurt."

"Wanda, it's okay." It wasn't, but you wanted to pretend like it was and she could sense that. "You're right, it's gonna be fine, just relax."

Wanda placed a chaste kiss to your lips as her forehead leaned into yours. A shaky breath fanned across your face as she began to heal you, you could smell traces of mint on your lips, and feel the love she left behind in its place. "Just focus on me sweet girl, you're ok."

"Wan, you said just the burns," you whined, and the witch kissed your protests away as her warm, glowing hands hovered over your thigh.

"Look, I'm fine moya lyubov'," she hummed, her thumb tenderly traced over the new mark on your thigh, and you sighed contentedly.

Wanda saw you shiver, she didn't want to hurt you further with the tight fitting emergency clothes you all had in the medbay for moments like these, so she slipped her own hoodie off and with her magic she made sure it fit you in an oversized manner like you preferred. All to protect your body from being seen by the team.

"Can you stand now?" You nodded, and the brunette guided you onto your feet. Natasha burst into the room just as Wanda pulled you into her, eight minutes in total. The witch was hoping for more time, but you needed to eat, and the redhead will want her time with you.

Wanda pressed a tender kiss to your forehead, "I'm so happy you're okay detka," then she left an even softer one to your lips before she was gently exchanging you for the grocery bags. She gave Natasha a quick kiss, they shared a fond smile as they watched you burrow into your other lover with a swiftness. Then Wanda was gone to the kitchen before you could blink.

Natasha didn't mind the grime transferring to her shirt, she only smiled and buried her nose in your hair, she could smell hints of your apple scented conditioner beneath the layers of smoke and ash that settled onto the strands.

Natasha's blood boiled when she looked just beyond you and saw the tattered remains of your suit behind you. Most of your burns were on your upper body so she couldn't see the improved state, but she did notice the few on your legs, and knowing they were once worse was enough to make her rather homicidal.

Tony and Steve would be smart to find a safe house, because after you fall asleep tonight there's no one left to protect the assholes.

They were careless with your life, and to your girlfriends that's an unforgivable slight.

"Thank you for coming home to us detka," the woman held back a sob as she repeated her usual mantra for when you'd return from a shield mission, but the way her arms tightened around your waist gave way to her clear fear.

"I'll always come home to you guys Natty."

"I appreciate that." Natasha gently pulled away from your embrace so that she could cup your cheek and pull you in for a kiss that she poured all of her love for you into. "We love you a lot."

"I love you guys too Natty, even more than Taylor Swift." Natasha chuckled in disbelief, "Wow, you're clearly in a state of delusion."

"Let's go get you cleaned up detka." Natasha scooped you up against your weak protests. You'd lost a decent amount of blood with the wound on your thigh, plus, no amount of magic heals the need for rest after what you've been through. So this is really the least your lover felt she could do to play her part in your care.

After taking the elevator up to your shared room the redhead set you down on the counter in your en suite, then she filled the tub with scentless bubbles and lukewarm water as to not aggravate your already overheated skin.

You watched with your lip caught between your teeth as your lover stripped down to nothing. She was always something to admire, and you'd never stop. "My eyes are up here."

"I know, I'd rather look at your boobs," you admitted without any shame causing the woman to loudly snort, "Y/N, you're injured..."

"Yes, and horny for my girlfriends always."

Natasha shook her head at your truly heatless words, "You're insatiable darling." You only smiled in response, allowing her to gently guide you into the readied tub where she just as quickly settled her body behind yours for the optimum support. "Dirty, dirty girl indeed."

You huffed, a protest of sorts, but you were too fatigued to back it up with words. The silence slowly encompassed the bathroom, sounds of water splashing into the marble all to be heard as you rearranged your body to lay face down. Natasha frowned when you shivered, she tried to offer her own body heat, but she couldn't budge on the water or else you'd be worse off.

She hummed a soft tune as she ran her fingers up and down your spine with delicate strokes. Her hand began to kneed at the unmarred skin, hopefully helping to relieve the tension that still resided in your muscles from the long day.

Her hand eventually made its way to your thigh where it methodically paused. She softly ran her thumb over your new scar, face falling further as she racked her brain for an answer that only evaded her with logical thought.

"How did you get stabbed?" You tensed as she finally verbalized it, now remembering that the empty floor you were sent to had a straggler who graciously left his blade behind in your leg. He'd totally blindsided you, swinging it at you before he escaped down the fire escape.

"The information was faulty," your scratchy voice came out sounding pitiful. "The place wasn't empty like Fury had first relayed."

Natasha hummed in understanding, she lifted your face and kissed away the tears as they fell. No more words needed to be said, she could tell it was just a fluke in intel, and it infuriated her that they'd not be more thorough for your first time up against Avenger level threats.

"Natty, I'm really cold." You shivered more noticeably this time and she took that as a sign to lift your bodies so she could run the shower. You were likely having a reaction to the loss of blood now, body struggling to regulate after all its been through in only a matter of hours.

Natasha did everything, and to her surprise you let her, you were just so tired and pliant.

She gently sat you down on the bench in your massive shower, then she moved to rid your locks of all the debris. You leaned back when she requested, her strong arm held you up with ease as the warm, once clear water turned to black as it slid down the drain. The various debris getting caught on top of the silver drain gratings, and she soon grimaced as an entire chunk of plaster thunked against the marble.

Natasha waited until the water ran clear to sit you back up. You pouted when you saw her expression, it was pained, and you felt guilty. Thoughts of how you could've prevented this plagued you, truthfully you knew it wasn't on you. Tony and Steve made a massive mistake. Fortunately for you the redhead didn't give you long to overthink before she lifted you again.

You purred when her lips pressed into your neck as she tugged you into her embrace. Fresh hot tears cascaded down your skin along with the streaming water and you held her even tighter, trying to somehow reassure her that you're still here. Natasha held you close like that for an entire minute as she sobbed.

"I'm okay Nat," you whispered reassuringly, "I'm here, I'm alive, and I'm safe with you two."

You reached down, pulling her hand back up with yours to prove your words right. You kissed her knuckles with a tenderness only reserved for your lovers. Then you flattened her hand against your chest, overlaying it with yours for optimal comfort. Nat sighed as soon as she felt the strong thrum beneath her palm.

"Thank you detka..." You kissed her cheek and she turned her head fast enough to steal a proper kiss as well. To her delight you didn't try to pull away, but instead you leaned in and allowed her to deepen it without her asking.

"I love you," you whispered as you playfully smiled against her lips, "But I'm becoming a prune, can we get this show on the road?"

Natasha chuckled, "You're lucky you're cute," shaking her head as she reached for the first of many hair products you had. She set the bottle beside you, and greedily leaned in for another kiss. "Your wish is my command detka."

After Natasha finished you up she guided you to the door with a hand on your hip, and the other on your lower back for assistance. The redhead spun you, softly pressing you into the wall so she could have her last moment of alone time with you. She raised a single hand to cup your left cheek, she ran her thumb over a scar beneath your left eye. Memories of your first ever encounter, a hectic mission, flashes through the both of your minds. You share a reminiscent smile as you kissed her palm.

"I love you too," Natasha finally verbally reciprocates your earlier sentiment. It wasn't needed, her actions alone said it, but you never failed to melt when your lovers reminded you. You whined, your usual cry for attention, and Natasha pecked your lips just before opening the door so you could get in bed and rest.

When the two of you exited the bathroom you both smiled at the sight of your lover on the bed. The scene was overwhelmingly domestic. Wanda wore an oversized shirt of yours, with a smart remote in her hand, apparently keying in your favorite movie on Hulu, and you melted.

You leaned your tired body back into the redheads who leaned against the doorframe,  eyes falling to the rest of the targeted display.

On a tray to the left of the bed was three plates full of your favorite home cooked dinner of Wanda's, and three cans of varying sodas. On the bedside table sat a burn cream, a couple extra strength Tylenol, and a glass of water.

All of that alone was enough to make you want to cry. So, when Wanda jumped up and ran to embrace the both of you the tears actually fell. Your lovers rubbed your shoulders and sides lovingly, depositing kisses wherever they could as they let you have a moment to feel it all.

In there arms was where you felt the safest, you never knew what the feeling of home was like until you met them; they were your physical embodiment of a safety net, and now, you knew you'd always have something to fall into.

——

[icedmetaltea]

I had this little idea, but I'm too shy to post it on my account and I didn't want to let it die. So how about a Sun and Moon outlast au?

You are an older brother, or maybe a parent, the point is that you have a small child to take care of. He disappeared and the only place the police didn't check is this crazy old place, abandoned for all you know and the police would ban you from going if they knew what you were planning.

So, you go in there and, the place is not abandoned

There are many people, deformed and thirsty for blood, you have to run, but you won't leave without your child, You find and a camera and a decent amount of batteries that you struggle to distribute, you lose some fingers, you definitely have traumas and you don't know how to get out, you start to convince yourself that your child is not here.

At one point you find a strange robot that chases you, it laughs like a maniac and its claws leave marks where they rest, it has red eyes that glow in the dark, its sharp teeth make you wonder if it eats meat. He is unexpectedly clean of blood, but to no one's surprise he is not afraid of getting stained. You run and stumble, in the end you reach this large room, it is colorful, happy, but the colors are worn out and there are brown stains on the floor, and you hear someone calling your name.

Your child comes out from under some rubble, runs towards you and you welcome him with open arms. Then you have a few seconds of relief, and then metal arms surround you and you spin around. A laugh resonates in your ears, your feet don't touch the floor and when you look up you see another robot, this time it has rays of sun, a happy smile, pure happiness and when you get off it introduces itself. His name is Sun, he is in charge of making you have a good time and taking care of your mental health.

The robot that chased you enters the room, and Sun must interfere. There is an argument, the red-eyed one says that you are trespassing on private property, and Sun says that they can make exceptions, after all you were friends with his little friend.

Then you spend a whole afternoon with them, the one you discover is called Moon tells you how he was patrolling when he came across this innocent child wandering in the yard, it was too dangerous to leave him there, too many bad people wandering around, they couldn't just push him into the woods. And Sun was glad to have a friend.

When you say you have to go, they just look at you. Moon says he will leave to patrol, you go after him shortly after saying goodbye to a Sun who just looks at you in silence.

The door is locked.

Goosebumps break out on your skin and you are acutely aware of the jingling bells approaching. You hide the child behind you and turn around. Sun opens his arms and talks about how it is safer here, the four of you could fit in here without a problem. Moon was always away but he would bring blankets, food and the basics, Sun would take care of you two, you would play a lot of games. No one would ever bother them.

You have a feeling these robots are going to be more trouble than any crazy person in this damn place.

You will do whatever it takes to protect the innocent who hides here, even if you have to fake a smile until you know how to escape. That probably won't go well the first few tries, you get somewhat humiliating punishments that you have to disguise for the infant, and Sun is okay with that.

But no matter how long it takes, you will get out of here.

FUCK YEA OUTLAST AUUUUUUUU

This is an awesome idea!! Idk if it's more scary to be around a bunch of insane humans or a couple robots with not all their screws intact (I'd stay with them in a heartbeat either way)

Dude imagine the daycare but like. It's even more in shambles and completely in the dark aside from the night vision on your camera. Sun's smile showing up a bit too bright around the corners. You can't even cry, you have to put up a brave face for the kid...

That is some gooooooood soup right there. Thank you for sharing!!!

[theadviceblog]

Hey uh I have a question...

My friend and I are 14 and he almost certainly has some sort of eating disorder. I don't know what to do exactly because we don't have very much faith in the adults around us (and all I know about his parents is that they're neglectful and his stepmother is "bad with money" so not exactly confidence inspiring). He doesn't throw up to my knowledge, but he doesn't eat very often if he can get away with it and some of our friends that know (me included) have spent time during dismissal trying to force him to eat even like a fry or something cause we're legitimately worried.

I understand if this is out of your wheelhouse, this is my last resort cause I really don't know what to do to help except talking to an adult which we cannot safely do currently

Hello!

So first of all. you're being braver than you should be about things like this at your age. its scary not knowing what to do more so when the adults in your life aren't helpful.

EDs can develop for sadly all too many reasons at your age. body dysmorphia, pressures to conform to a beauty standard (this doesn't JUST apply to the girls, boys too sadly) but from what you're telling me it might have developed out of a need for control. he does not have much control over his life so this is what they can control, sadly my mother developed an ED that way and it put her in phyc ward at age 13

Forcing him to eat will only push him away because as much as you want to try and help it might be another person taking away control in his eyes. If you're worried about him dropping the weight too quickly get him booster shakes if you can. or full fat milkshakes but maybe get yourself one so he doesn't think you're doing it for him specifically.

You mentioned vomiting so if thats a worry you need to keep an eye on his teeth and fingers, the skin on his fingers might be pealing more, his nails might become cracked and discoloured and you'll see more decay and sharp bits in his teeth.

I wish you could tell his parents, I wish they cared enough to help their son but it might have to come down to you telling an adult you trust. It might be your parents, your grandparents, a school councillor, or just an awesome teacher who swears in class now and again but someone you know can help him.

he needs help. and if his parents don't care he might need to be taken away from them and I know You're worried about the "What happens if i do this?" but my main worry who has seen this situation is "what happens if you don't?" if you want to tell a teacher or a councillor at school you could make an anonymous letter if you feel that would be safer for all parties.

Good luck mate, i'm sorry you have to deal with this at your age and i hope things get better for him.

Love Birdy

[xxemosceneacidscumxx]

Jeff the killer x FEM! Reader

~A Blinkless Gaze~ Part 9

Suddenly I woke up in a black void. "Hello y/n, my dear." I heard a weird demon voice say. "WHO ARE YOU, WHERE AM I???" "All will be well once you are mine my dear." I cringed "I HAVE A HUSBAND" the thing talking to me laughed a laugh that echoed all around me, running chills down my spine. "We''ll see about that." Suddenly I sprang up covered in sweat. "Oh, hey I was just gonna tell you that foods ready" jeff said turning his attention to me. I yawned and stretched. "Yeah?" He chuckled. "Yeah." I looked around. "Where's your brother?" "Oh, sully was nagging him to go on a killing spree, so he left before he got pissed." "Ok, so how far are we from your place?" He shook his head. "About 2 days." I groaned. "We have to walk two days?" "Sure do." He said handing me my venison piece. I took it and began to eat. "So when'll we start moving again?" "After we eat." I nodded as an ok, while I enjoyed my venison. After a few minutes we were both done eating. I looked at jeff and giggled. "What?" I shook my head. "You eat like a pig" I said pinching what was left of his cheeks. I hugged him "you're my piggy though." I held on to him and felt a weird sinking feeling in my core as I thought of that dream I had. He hugged me back. I sighed. "You ok?" "Yeah I'm good. You ready?" "Uh huh." We both got up and began our journey once more. We walked all night, until the crack of dawn when we crashed together. The next day was basically a repeat of the day before, except around maybe noon, we came up on a mansion. It was gorgeous. There were a few apple trees, wildflowers, and the mansion had a gate. It was a big black gate, for the black mansion. We walked up to the gate. "Jeff who the heck is this?" I saw a man with medium brown hair, goggles hatchets, and a mask say. "This is my wife y/n, Toby." The guy whose name I guess it Toby, crossed his arms. "Master is not going to like this and you know it. You can't just bring-" "i know. But I'm all she has, there's no choice but me. She's mine. And I'm sure Slender will let me keep her." Jeff said in a stern tone. Toby let out a sigh. "Fine I'll let you guys in, but don't do anything dumb." Jeff nodded "yeah, yeah yeah." Suddenly we walked into the mansion and turned into a corridor with what looked like a bajillion stairs. I looked up at jeff. "Goddammit!" I groaned. He laughed and lead me all the way to the top floor, which only had one room. Jeff took a deep breath and exhaled. He knocked on. The door."COME IN." I heard what seemed telepathic. We walked in to face a man wearing a suit, with no face and he was very tall, like SCARY tall. He had black tendrils going all behind him. He looked like he meant business. "JEFFERY, WHO IS THIS?" He said sounding a little irritated jeff looked at me. "I- I'm y/n." "WHY ARE YOU HERE?" He asked. "I'm Jeff's wife." He looked at Jeff. "WHAT MADE YOU DECIDE TO HAVE A WIFE WITHOUT MY PERMISSION?" I could see the irritation bubbling on Jeff's face. "I love her, sir, and I'm all she has now. I killed everyone. And I thought we'd be able to live here." "YOURE POSITIVE?" "Yes." "ALL RIGHT YOU CAN KEEP HER, BUT DO NOT MAKE ME REGRET THIS, UNDERSTAND?" "Yes, sir." "I DISMISS YOU." We turned around and left the office, beginning to trudge down the stairs. I'm afraid of the dream I had, and now I live with literal serial killers. I looked up at Jeff, and felt safer. I think this'll work out.

[twocubes]

I've been at my current job long enough that people are increasingly frequently asking me why I've stuck around this long. I don't have a good reason. Staying has just always been the easiest choice. I'm not happy where I am (I mean it's fine) but I don't know what I want so don't know what to do instead.

you seem at a loss as to what to do, so for you, i'm going to do the big SWOT spread. the goal here is to consider your situation and what you can do in it, so that you can perhaps come up with a general idea of what you might want to try

ok. so the most notable general connection in this spread is 1 + 6 = 7; this suggests thinking of the meaning of the 7 as a consequence of the combination of those of 1 and 6. so it might make sense to read that one after those others here.

Strengths: ZERO OF CLUBS ZERO means something not being there. it could be the absence of an obstruction, it could be something not having been started, it could be that something is missing CLUBS is to do with work; the labor that you dedicate your life to, all that stuff

Weakness: MATURITY this card means like, duty, continuous work, momentum, the path of your life after being launched

Opportunity: SEVEN OF SPADES, reversed SEVEN means that which is both unfamiliar and mysterious; it can mean things being surprising, it can mean things being confusing. SPADES means conflict, material contradiction, etc

Threat: SIX OF SPADES SIX means perfection in the sense of like, "as simple as possible but not simpler"; balance and that stuff

Opportunity-Strength Strategies: CAVALRY OF HEARTS, reversed this is strategies to use your strengths to seize on opportunities the CAVALRY means like, exceptional aid. think the cavalry coming to save you, etc. stuff like that. HEARTS means reproduction (like, what is necessary to keep going) particularly emotionally

Opportunity-Weakness Strategies: OMEGA OF HEARTS this is strategies to use these opportunities to counter your weaknesses OMEGA means that which you can approach but might never attain; an ideal that you are working towards without the expectation that you might attain it at any point

Threat-Strength Strategies: QUEEN OF CLUBS, reversed this is strategies to use your strengths to counter these threats the QUEEN is your power, your talents, what you're good at, where it is that you're most effective.

Threat-Weakness Strategies: ONE OF HEARTS, reversed this is ways to mitigate both threats and weaknesses ONE means fullness, completion, something being all there, being sufficient or the like.

I read these cards as follows:

Your strengths are your ability to continue to work without purpose. This is a strength because (as an example) it's how you get good at stuff; a lot of learning (say) art involves spending a long time working at things with no reward and sometimes a sense of despair, of pointlessness. You can persevere through that, and that is a tremendous asset.

Your weakness is your momentum. Your life has been launched in one direction and it is difficult for you to shift it into another one. This is the mature, reasonable thing to do, after all; not moving is safer than trying something new. Your maturity is holding you back here.

What threatens you is the balance between the conflicts that underlie your life. Your life is defined by having contradictory desires (e.g. for safety and newness) and these desires oppose each-other in ways that result in your inaction. This is unstable though, over the long term.

You can use your strength to overcome this threat by reorienting your efforts in ways that might not be very familiar at first, but that will become more familiar with your dedication.

What might help to overcome both your momentum and this stale equilibrium is to get comfortable with sacrificing the sense of safety that you have right now; you can attain a new such but it will feel scary for a bit.

If you do so, you will find an opportunity in the form of the unfamiliarity of a struggle fading away; there is something you do not understand, a material contradiction, a conflict between multiple parts of yourself or your environment that is mysterious to you, that will clarify itself as you learn to take risks to counter the stale balance you find yourself in.

This understanding will allow you to make what might in retrospect seem like a large sacrifice but will to you make sense as a seemingly risky move that you will be able to accomplish thanks to your ability to dedicate yourself to things.

In thus changing your momentum, in acting "immaturely" in the sense of throwing yourself from the groove that you've ended up in, you will discover a new more emotionally fulfilling path for you to pursue.

so there :p

maybe this helps, maybe this doesn't. good luck! :)

[reddoesthingsfinally]

Mildly aggravated at someone because they have a crush on my bestie and will sometimes front and go to talk to them in an attempt to actually get to know them because they're like 'I know you, but I know I don't really know you, and that's confusing, but I want to know you', except due to the rest of our opinion's (namely Red's, who is extremely defensive about our info with anyone, and we haven't shared with a friend up until recently) they can't actually say that it's them.

That doesn't make sense, let me rewrite this.

I'm mildly aggravated because someone has a crush on my bestie. They'll talk to them when they front because they're like 'I feel like I know you, but I also don't, but I want to know you'. However, due to our opinions/boundaries/loose rules, particularly Red's, who's very defensive in sharing anything about ourselves to anyone that actually knows us, they can't share that it's them. They have to pretend to me while trying to get to know their crush and try to let their crush get to know them because it makes the rest of us feel safer.

I'm aggravated because, a, I would prefer if they didn't go attempt to date my bff, thank you very much. It feels like a sibling dating your bestie to me, for some reason. Or your two besties dating each other. Idk quite how to describe it, but I don't like it. B, I feel bad that they can't actually tell them who's speaking. I feel kinda selfish that I'm contributing to keeping them from saying because it makes me feel safer and more comfortable. And, sure, we can be a bit freer about the differences in our speech and whatnot with them, but they want to full on have a conversation with our friend knowing it's them. But personally, that makes me feel really, really vulnerable, and scared.

For one, that's telling someone that they're not talking to me, even if I'm watching in the backseat (which I always am). That's terrifying. To - to - to - a - an unreasonable degree. I don't know why, but it just IS. It's scary to even think about telling somebody that I'm not fully there right now, that they could do or say anything and I wouldn't have any way to control my response unless I was triggered back.

For two, I've gotta admit, I don't trust the others all that much, and they don't really trust me. I've only recently started taking them more seriously than just 'imaginary friends' (even if I frequently think that's all they are, hurray.), so it's understandable that they don't really trust me beyond a basic surface level, and vice versa (at least in my eyes). If someone admits that it's not me there talking, I don't know how my friend will react. And furthermore, without having to mask, I don't know what someone might end up doing or saying, that I'll have to take responsibility for after. Now, we're online friends, so it's not like anything too bad can really happen, but I don't want our relationship to be damaged because someone didn't realize they were pushing something a bit too much, or being a little too snappy, or act like they know them a little too well. And while I trust them to not be absolute jerks, I don't trust them to not accidentally push buttons or triggers they didn't know where there, that normally wouldn't be a problem because I would. Or, vice versa, the friend accidentally press a button and get a strong reaction that they wouldn't usually have to worry about, because it usually wouldn't be a button, and I (usually) wouldn't lash out.

I don't remember where I was going with this but yeah. F e a r

[paxtonbirthstory]

July 8th -- Cholestasis

I'm reading my own labs and freaking myself out.

I've been itching SO badly the last 4 days -- which I know could be a bad sign for my liver. Dr. Friedrich ran some tests before she left for vaca and from what I'm reading....ugh. It's just another thing. I have a call with my "normal" OB today, so we'll see what she says, but I'm spinning. Is my body going to let this kid down now??

I just wish Dr. Friedrich wasn't on a 3 week vacation now. It's just so scary.

***

Cholestasis. I have been diagnosed with Cholostasis. It's a liver problem -- not related to any of my other problems -- that has a high chance of stillbirth.

So here we go again. Just one more thing that's going to give this baby miracle status if he survives.

The dr said it's her least favorite diagnosis because there's nothing to do except wait and see. And the NST monitoring doesn't really help since he could basically just stop moving in there without any real warning.

I hate that my dr is gone. I want her here to help make some of these scary calls. I want him out if he's safer outside of my body. But because of his limited growth, that's tricky too. It's a balancing act.

I just want to be celebrating a baby, a pregnancy. I don't get to do that and it feels so unfair.

Nothing is connected and they basically are saying I'm just getting hit with all the bad pregnancy luck in a single pregnancy.

I'm trying to be strong.

[the-firebird69]

This is a huge number of morelock who are going to the wood drop off place with brush his redirecting them to a brush drop off and you can drop it there and they're accepting it now and they're mulching it just like Jeff it's a huge facility and it's making trees and yes its Mac. He's laughing because people couldn't figure it out but really he's accepting a ton of it and he saw what Brad was doing is using him as a test bed even though he knows about it he's not doing the composting but he is now he knows a bug problem not a problem solved but Max place is big it's probably 10 times the size of Jeff's drop off place. Can you drop it there in a mulch it and they compost it and he hauls it out all at the same spot and it's pretty big though it's like 10 acres so it's probably it's probably 10 times the size a little bit bigger it's pretty big 10 acres is pretty big by the way you have a hard time walking across it down here even those flat that's good except a lot now that's near fort Myers and he tested the stuff too inside just results and was amazed I saw it in the water and was amazed his little mad because his Grand nephew saying it's hormones and stuff it is okay down at the river mouth but it's not a ton further up if it's a lot and you tested and knows about it it's dangerous to swim in makes people big same has lake Okeechobee right now the content of hormone and spice mostly hormone is like 20%. That's more than the movie where they got Young and started shrinking in it became a little babies and really it doesn't really do that it's a growth hormone but it will make you a little younger if you go in for a little bit but people go in for like an hour and then start eating and the cannibals some of them some of them are eating fish and a lot of them bring tons of food and juice and stuff and they hate the cannibals and they shoot them and they let them float away now they take them off burn them it's true a lot of people won't do it and that's Max he's asking how they become black guys and Asian guys he's disguises now he's chemicals it's a lot safer doesn't make you sick and Billy z is a retard and now full blown but his body is a bit too it's big real quick and dangerous my daddy can grow so many trees he said it's got warehouse now there's a big demand and this is trees along the road here and that bend that goes to the road with public side but Chris rides all Max got his eye on it. We're going to need trees we're starting to build stuff pretty soon and we're going to need trees and we're suggesting Mac open ing more facilities like 10 more I was going to need trees for all these in the palm trees this is okay and tell him how many so he's getting to work cuz people already said a lot like half of that he's moving fast too

That line is huge there's a line 10 miles long to get to that drop off so they're going to make another one or two and pick it up all night and the brush one is gigantic the lights almost full no it's about half full takes a while I don't feel it and those cars to the brush thing at like 5 miles but that will only fill up a quarter way a ton of cars are going there and trucks everything you can imagine the carry stuff big buckets huge things that brush on top of the car people are desperate to get rid of this cuz it's a massive fire hazard they look at it and think they're this terrible and scary and stressed they blame it on Sunday they heard him today with the fire goes up the road and the fire department just puts it out but you don't want to happen might affect the electrical and stuff so they're all pulling it out now and Mac you should just go to another drop off if you can't handle it just throw it in one of your Big lots so he's saying that's a good idea you can set up the machines in a minute he's going to head into it having his guys do it Bob Marley and Daniel says he needs you down there to do this stupid s*** so they're going down the opening up a couple more brush places it's going to work how about that science saves the Day you sell it give me proceeds from One tree you played the tree somewhere dingtone says if I do that LOL

Thor Freya

We hear our son and daughter says I used to stay away from tree stuff and he did cuz taboo. But this is working great you should see these people are all excited and happy and not mad at our son anymore and see what it's doing he said if these storms starts up again it's going to toss this damn debris you're in the windows you get this s*** out of here and it started calling and start finding it this is terrific somebody got something done and it's going to work they're growing trees and they know how to do it and the composting the the mulch you grind up the tree limbs and the palm tree leaves and all that stuff and there's a chemical that Brad and Mac are putting in there brad is doing it and it's legal. Making a towel like that so hard dan might he says some money those trees are worth a lot and we're going to use the lottery it's a lot more than that can make

At times were allowed to move trees around let it be easier to buy new ones tons of people are moving on it they're getting their brush out and find out where we're calling back up and suggested 24-hour open and you saying okay.

Thor Freya

I don't have to do nutcases down there whistling right over here LOL attract Trump

This is working out for me though it's a great idea and I like it and it's going well and yeah Terry cheeseman was saying you're going to burn with the money so give him cigarettes and probably a certain brand cuz she's after the money people are stupid and as a matter of money from the bank they're saying it's cash but it's from the bank but it's not my money my money is in the account and no I didn't put cash in there until the safety account safety account boxes in the bank digitally. A ton of people are laughing that's not how it's done he says he does have a safety deposit box of stuff and we know where it is that was our son the last three lines and it doesn't have cash and it's in Canton Massachusetts and it's still in there cuz they don't want to open it. At one point someone said they took it out but they were just saying it and they lied so we're wondering when people are going to notice that it might still be there and they're not really picking up on it that much. There's another safety deposit box and he says he doesn't remember it it's in Boston and it is where he put the money that Billy zee supposedly took and Trump at Saint Elizabeth. No we did that to bother them and it was a lie. Seriously folks Trump is across the street and threatening for it no he didn't bring the money with him. And Trump is trying to threat terrorism the same Billy's he took it and they did take some money from him but it wasn't five grand it's like 300 bucks and he put the money in Canton Massachusetts no he put it in his bank in the safety deposit box that has the note in it. It's around 7 or 8,000 and we've been paying no it's Hera but we help her yes and she's been paying and she paid several things like that and kept several bank accounts alive it has people doing it and it's a job and real people are doing it by the way other than us know about 7,500 and say that's familiar yes Bank of America in Canton Massachusetts and it's right down the street from his house or apartment that did not burn down. He had some money in his house but he took it and that was what he took when he went to Churchland Banks he found it in the cabinet most of it was there the same money and the woman committed suicide so did the neighbor because they couldn't handle what they were doing and they died they're gone.

Thor Freya

Is laughing cuz that safety deposit box is probably full of gas yeah people die in the bank everyday

...

This f****** sucks I can't even go there that place below so bad that s**** everywhere it's in everything it's a chemical attack it's a serious terrorist attack and we should be bringing these people in not catering them and letting them hand cigarettes to people and say they're dead and all sorts of s***this person they say is the enemy is still helping us and he got all sorts of people that bring their brush in and we're opening up holding spots for it it would just bringing motors and we're doing it and it's like well okay I guess we don't need to sit there and wait there's no reason we just issue the permit to ourself it's kind of a dumb thing but we need people to do it so we wouldn't take responsibility and get in trouble so the plant where phoning the addresses to the plant now yeah I'm going to open 24 hours a day and we're going to get lights out there and security and people at security and fence it and all sorts of stuff is going on right now and we're moving and I'm calling 10 people and getting them out there and they're actually excited to do some work so damn boring here this pattern ourselves in the back and deteriorating. I want to say something this guy Trump is an a****** he he needs to be arrested he's a terrorist

Mike tew

Now it's threatening to harm me and it's still Mike too yes I'm running it down but it's starting I'm sending it to mine to handle it he's trying to threaten our nephew and he is so I'm sending more orders I'm getting I'm calling the anti-terror squad and we're going to get him his compounding it and I'm getting the feds involved sick of that groups coming in and attacking us then it is here are saying things are wrong in the corner run doing terrorist attacks and sabotaging they had a raccoon pee all over everything it ruined all the stock they replaced everything I want them out of here for that act alone I'm putting that we do that and shot our father and my brother and brother might have deserved it but not Mac don't want to this stuff I'm going to take care of it we've got a huge list of things to do and this is one of them

[moecartoons]

Hcs on emo Matt? If that’s ok 😄 or the older kids in general lol. Also hcs on Wicked? I’m not sure if somebody’s already asked you these questions so Srry if they’re repeats 🥺 I like your stuff a lot!

Gosh, I have so much shit to say about Emo Matt. Let's start with the iconic hair color change. The reason for it is his father says some pretty horrible, scary things about his Ma. And frequently points out not only how soft Matt is like his Ma, but looks like her too. He changes his hair color to feel safer. And so his father has one less thing to be so pissy about. He also starts trying to distance himself from her entirely, afraid he relies too much on her and is what is causing so much bitterness between his parents.

A little on Jackie and Inez as teens/older since I rarely talk about them.

Jackie is Cheer Captain at their school (In the webisodes, you see her make her own outfit to try out! So I wanted to carry that over.) She also overworks herself to keep up with her classes to the point where the stress causes her some pretty bad breakouts. Thankfully, she stays positive in regards to her appearance. What bothers her most is knowing how its caused yet being unable to do much about it. Dealing with her stress is yet another thing on her endless to-do list.

I don't have much for Inez except she looks similar to how she did when she played the drums in Out of Sync and is in a long-distance relationship with Creech. She probably has the most figured out of the three and is just doing her best to figure out what she wants to do with her life. A lot of people hc that in-show, Inez has skipped a few grades but I like to save that for around now. I like the trio being initially split up until they're teenagers. They're sort of inseparable at this point.

WICKED, oh boy, WICKY <333 Wicked is interesting to me bc she one of the few characters from HEA whose origins aren’t completely clear? Like she and the king are just generic Witch and King. I think for Wicked an argument can be made for her being the witch from The Wizard of Oz.

SO, my hc/idea for her is she had :) three other sisters. And because in HEA everyone basically goes through their story and then live their lives afterwards, she and her sisters had plans. Unfortunately, evil tends to die in these stories. Just to add a little more spice to mix, I made one of the sisters who died a good witch who sacrificed herself for her story’s hero.

This is why Wicked, unlike the Big Bad Wolf or the Giant in HEA doesn’t stay on HEA and instead spreads her “evil” throughout Cyberspace. In all honesty, she’s a businesswoman first and foremost. Sure. Ruling everything and having it named after her is nice, but in the end her ultimate goal is to take control of life. Of her story.

[beautifulterriblequeen]

The Thief and the Tinker, Part 4: Circles and Cycles

part 3

Part 4

Viren: *smirks and plinks Runaan's coin to Ethari*

Ethari, furious: You throw another Moonshadow at me and I'm gonna lose it.

Circles and Cycles

Angst rating: 8/10

Back to Ethari, because we're not done with him yet. Ethari is soft, but he isn't weak. He won't be a willing pawn for Viren. He loves Runaan to the point of invention, and his devotion is more constant than the moon itself. He'll agree to do what Viren says, and he'll be Very Sad. But his spirit is in no way broken. Viren bribing him with the coins containing his family will only have the opposite effect. It'll give Ethari something to fight for.

We could get Focused Chaos Ethari. We could get Angery Trickster Ethari. We could get Rules, What Rules? Ethari. Let him try to steal the coins, try to break them, try to kill Viren, and be stymied at every turn, until he settles and seems cowed. And then all he does is craft his way out of the problem.

What if we are gifted with Iron Man Elf Ethari, who pretends to build a fake Key for Viren, but meanwhile he's really building a coinbuster with whatever he can get his hands on - primal stones, magically imbued gemstones, stolen artifacts, his own arcanum, his own reputation as the Master Craftsman of the Silvergrove. He'll use almost - almost - anything, to stop Viren and free his family.

Ethari may have to choose between those two things, though. And he's a hero, deep down, just like his family, just like his daughter. If he has to choose, he'll choose to stop Viren and save Xadia. He'll pay the same price as his family has if he must.

He'd let Viren think he was motivated purely by wanting his family back, but Ethari is far too steeped in the illusion and sacrifice for that to be all there is to his motives. It's a so-close-and-yet-so-far thing, how he and Viren almost embody the same ideals. Almost. Ethari would take one look at Viren, who just burnt down his whole Forest, he'd see the biggest threat in Xadia, and he'd say anything to get a chance to stop this juggernaut of destruction from getting his hands on whatever that ultimate power really is, locked behind that missing key. If he has to abandon his people and bawl his eyes out to convince Viren he's in, then he will.

And Viren wouldn't make it easy for him. He knows clever when he sees it. He went through all this trouble to persuade Ethari to work with him. He would need to keep Ethari as off-balance as possible to ensure that he keeps working as he should.

Angsty jewelry, anyone?

Viren giving Ethari his husband in pendant form to remind him what he's working for, when Viren and Ethari both know full well that only dark magic can open the hellcoins. Ethari wearing another pendant of his love, except it's not a metaphor this time. It's literally his love, in a coin around his neck.

Viren would love making Ethari stay close to him of his own free will if he ever hoped to free Runaan. Making people bind themselves to you is a big power flex. Remember that TDP stream future-season teaser note about Bait being in a creepy restraint in a future season?

This card is written on in all-caps, so that really could be "Bait" or "bait," or--knowing this show--both. Viren's been using Runaan as bait for Ethari all along. Putting his coin in a dark magic pendant casing for Ethari to wear would be a great parallel for that. Oh god. Oh man.

Maybe he'll stab the coin's scary casing right through that circle on Ethari's chest, right over his heart, make that Iron Man reference really obvious. Ethari also losing his shirt at some point, for angsty Viren-related reasons? It's more likely than you think. I mean... Ethari is literally involved in both forms of forging at this point. Shirt's gotta come off for uhhhh work reasons. And because he's hot. Because of all the forging. Mmhmm. I mean how else are we finally going to discover what his markings look like this is research I swear

I mentioned that I liked god-tier villains, right? Yeah, this is amazing. I haven't wanted to die and ascend over an idea for quite a while, but Ethari vs Viren in a drawn-out battle of wills would kill me in the best way. Especially since, while it looks like they're essentially fighting for who gets Runaan, they're truly fighting a much larger battle with much higher stakes. They're fighting for the future itself. It's an epic struggle between the Narrative of Strength and the Narrative of Love. And we've seen what happens, over and over, when the Narrative of Strength gets to call the shots.

On a meta note: If Ruthari's story arc isn't a love letter from one trauma survivor to another, and on a broader scope to all survivors who see it, I don't know what is. Sometimes life just chews us up and spits us out and we can't stop it and it breaks us. But sometimes we can reach out and grasp the chance to help each other, even after that, even when it hurts a lot, because we know what it means to be loved, and to love, and to want a safer future for each other and for people we'll never meet. The future is worth standing together for, helping each other back up for, fighting side by side for, even if you can't see how it'll end, or even how to begin. We are stronger together, and sometimes we need to fight for our "together" before we can fight for anything else. And that's worth it, every time.

This is glorious, it's beautiful, it's tragic, it's amazing, it makes me want to dance, it makes me want to scream into the void, it makes me want to slap someone with a semi truck. No, someone specific, don't worry, and he super deserves it.

Because Ethari is going to win. He was always going to win. He's soft, and he's clever, and he hasn't forgotten what love means. It's what he's fighting for. Not power, not control. Love. He doesn't want to dictate Runaan's future or anyone else's. He just wants his husband--and everyone else--to have one at all.

So he's going to win.

What thwarting Viren looks like, I couldn't possibly guess. TDP is no stranger to angst, so there will probably be a high cost involved in outwitting the dark mage. Maybe not everyone can be rescued from the coins. Maybe Ethari will lose his life, or his soul, or his vision, or something else really angsty. Viren could even kill him and resurrect him as a smoky craftsman, or a zombie craftsman, or something equally biddable but horrible. The only thing I'm sure of is that Ethari would never willingly make a working Key of Aaravos Ethari as long as there's a chance Viren could possess it. But I do believe that if he gets the right opportunity while he's busy saving the world from Viren's dark intentions, he'll break his husband's hellcoin open somehow and set him free, even if he has to smile at the devil to do it.

Ethari understands the difference between "you can" and "therefore you should." He might sacrifice his own world to save his husband, but he'd never sacrifice someone else's world. That's one of the Moonshadow cultural limits I've noticed: they accept boundaries when it comes to other people's autonomous rights, especially regarding life and death.

These limits could get pushed. Ethari will be under great duress and emotional strain if he goes through this kind of interaction with Viren. And maybe he will choose some dark things. Everyone else has. But I'm placing all my eggs in the basket labeled "Saved By Love." Either I'm right, or I'll get the best angst omelets in the universe. And I do love omelets. A villain invented them, you know. ;)

Another support for Ethari not making the key for Viren: the real Key exists!

Callum has it right now. The plot doesn't need Ethari's key (yet? ever?), but it does need Ethari to learn what he's made of, to stand up for something, or against something, or both at once. And once he learns what he will and won't do and the universe has rewarded his discovery with the return of his beloved husband then Ethari will be ready to take on whatever else the plot has in mind for him.

Depending on the plan, all of these events could happen in S4, as a setup for even bigger things to follow. Viren's wishes can be thwarted here and the show's overall tension will only continue to rise. It would let Ethari flex yes pls his skills so we know who he is, it would show how driven Viren can be for a long-term goal, it would let Claudia saunter further downwards, it would reveal some human/Moonshadow history, and it would resolve the seasons-long tension regarding Runaan's fate, allowing for the cycle of speculation, feels, angst, and Ruthari fanart to begin again. ;) Viren would need to find another way to pursue his long-term goal. And Callum's Key will get a little more clarity on just how important it is to the fate of the world - which will make everything he does, and everyone he talks to, and anyone who knows what he's carrying, intensely important.

Nyx is gonna steal it isn't she, omg chaos birb

To Viren, Ethari was a main course, meant to be devoured and consumed in his lifelong quest for something that will finally satisfy. But to Ethari, Viren was just empty calories to be passed over in favor of ordering his perennial favorite dish, one more time.

Once Ethari escapes Viren's clutches with as much of his family as he can rescue, Viren may turn back to looking for the real Key, especially if someone's seen it recently. Hunting a kid probably seems easier than hunting a full-grown Moonshadow craftsman who just outsmarted him. okay so maybe Nyx stealing it would be a good thing and save Callum's life

Ethari could go on to help repair the Sunforge, or rebuild the Moonhenge, or work on constructing Moonshadow villages in Katolis if he hasn't been ghosted for abandoning everyone after the forest fire. He might build magical devices for any number of reasons, to help all kinds of characters. Hopefully, wherever he goes, he'll have Runaan with him, in some way, for at least a little while. Cycles be like, and I feel like Runaan will not want to remain still for long, for whatever reason. Does he need revenge, atonement, justice, a new body, to find Rayla, to find Ezran? He'll be back in action as soon as he can, I think.

Okay, but, I'm so soft at the thought of a scene where Runaan and Ethari come before King Ezran. The husbands tried to save their people Runaan's way, the old way, and it only continued to endanger them. Following the cycle, as Moonshadows do, was the wrong move. But the son of the last human Runaan killed reached out with mercy and broke a thousand years of suffering and sorrow and hatred. Ezran did what Runaan couldn't: he saved the Moonshadow elves from total destruction. And that, more than anything else in the world, could soften one very broody assassin's heart toward humans again.

What would Runaan do, if his heart truly changed toward humans? What would he say to Ezran? I could see him struggling for a long moment before dropping to one knee to pledge his heart as he once had to do before the Dragon Throne. He doesn't know any other way but to serve. Ezran, reading the whole room and everyone's feelings before he tells Runaan that No, we don't do that here. That he's free, and free means free. No chains, no oaths. Just trust and friendship. He should get to make his own decisions for a change, even though that can be hard and scary sometimes. Runaan being genuinely scared, because that's too much freedom. But he's not alone. He has Ethari, and Ezran, and Rayla, and Callum, and their people, and their allies. And no matter what else happens, the people of Katolis - elven and human - will find a way forward. Together.

part 5

[idjitlili]

W-wait you kidnapped, Jareth?

Obi-wan x reader

(Not my image)

Summary: Dropped into a strange world, pretty much on to a Obi-wan's lap, only for him to take pity on you. What a pity...

Word count:6237

Warnings: Kidnapping of a non-starwars character, tight pants wearing person.../ tight pants/ references to something under tight pants. Post Padme and Anakin reuniting. Some language. Age gap.

Okay, so maybe you had been in another dimension, with no intention,with a bit of a mind flip, you're into the time slip. You don't know how it happened one minute you was  sleeping, having one of those dreams when you are falling but you couldn't wake up, until you had shot awake from painful landing.

Well, the landing wasn't painful, two points of impact, under your legs and on your shoulder blades. Opening your eyes suddenly, to see a auburn haired man, his eyes bright, as they starred into yours, yes he was handsome. Some sort of cream wrap tunic, dark brown shirt underneath, hiding his chest. It was hot, very hot, how was his face no sweating, your arm now around his shoulders to prevent you from falling. No doubt your face showed shock.

"Who are you?!"

What else was you supposed to say, other than 'where am I?' It was not long at all before 'Obi- wan' the man who had caught you had taken you to some green guy called Yoda. Aliens, you would not have guessed it, well most people know there are actually aliens, there are so many galaxies. There was no earth in the place, so they had concluded it be some sort of bigger power had brought you were.

Yoda seemed nice enough, basically the Lady Galadriel of this place, insuring you that no harm would come to you. Of course, he had put the top Jedi on the job, Obi-wan, why did you have to put with the handsome ones, you'd end up red faced even if he looked at you. If he wasn't a nice person then he would've just dropped you.

In the short time you had been in this place, you had wondered why you had fallen in this place in your shoes. However, that is irrelevant, you had learnt about Jedi and siths, typical good guys versus bad boys. Not bad boys...not yet, of course I'm thinking about Din Djarin,well he's not evil.

Yoda did have a lot to say, except oh yes just so you know you've just been dumped into a foreign universe and now you are going on a space ship. You had been given a bag, with sets of clothing for you as well as some other supplies. Obi-wan being himself, not that you knew his regular behaviour, took your bag, when you were both walking towards the ship. Not that it was in view not yet.

"W-wait, so we are going into space?" Your voice laced with panic, as you speed walked next to Obi-wan to keep up.  He had let out a deep chuckle.

"Where else would we go, little one?"

"Uhm, literally anywhere else, do I not get food before we leave? I just got here! I'm starving."

The ship, now in view, was it floating? Was it just on a platform? Nope it was floating, did you just the force to do that, like an elevator? Looking at the Jedi, grinning as you both got closer and closer to the ship.

"It's not that bad, I won't let anything happen to you, nothing will if I am the one steering it anyways..." Obi-wan whispering last bit, but you still heard him, brows scrunching toward, who else would be piloting the ship? You? Never.  That when you saw him, stood on  ramp of the ship, assuming he was waiting for you and Obi-wan. His hair short, light brown and spiked. Was that a rat tail? Oh gosh. He was cute, but you could tell he was trouble.

"Oooh, Master, I thought you said no attachments." Obi-wan had scoffed at the boy, as you both got dangerously close, the boy looked at you with a smirk, his cheeks bunching up like a clown. That he was indeed.

"This is Anakin, Anakin, Y/n, she will be coming with us,"  Obi-wan looked at Anakin who still was looking at you, only at his master briefly. When he did Obi-wan's face could only be described as that face off Zoolander, Blue steel. Why was he pursing his lips, was he expecting a peck or was that just his stern face?

Of course when you held your hand out to shake his, he had took your hand in his pressing his lips to your knuckles. You looked at Obi-wan wide eyes, was this legal? Was Anakin even an adult? Only just, but still, he was not your type.

"Anakin, that's enough, what have I told you?" Pulling Anakin from you , pushing him into the ship, Anakin turns his face to you sending a cheeky grin. Only for Obi-wan to give him another shove out the ship. Obi-wan gesturing you for you to get on before him, with a small smile. "Thank you."

You weren't sure where you were going, hell, you didn't even know what planet you had just been was, but now you say in a seat gripping it, as Obi-wan began to pilot the ship, is that what it was called? Was called something different? You weren't sure, all you knew is this was scary. If you crashed there was little chance of survival, there's no oxygen in space.

Anakin sat next to Obi-wan, both focused on the darkness in front of them. You sat on seat that you could only describe as one of those joint seats at the back of a bus, an British bus. Maybe it's the same for different countries? The chair against the wall, you had strapped your bag down in the seat next you , as well yourself.

You had completely forgotten that you were wearing a baggy t-shirt with trousers, and shoes. That night you must've been so tired that you didn't change, you don't know what happened that night.  You must've looked very out of place, especially with what you had seen everyone else was wearing. Why were they all dressed as Jesus? You were surprised they were surprised they weren't wearing sandals.

"So, where are you from?"  Anakin had spoken gently not taking his face from his position, had made you snap out of thoughts.

"Y/h/c." You weren't sure if he meant planet, you had just stuck with your home country. Anakin had clicked his tongue, thinking, before he could say anymore Obi-wan had stopped him.

"She's not from this galaxy, Anakin." Obi-wan spoke like Anakin was supposed to know that, well you was wearing a shirt that literally had Keanu reeves face on it.

"Well then, how did you get here?"

"I was sleeping in my bed, and then I was falling somehow, whoa Obi-wan happened to be standing below me, and caught me, the end." Anakin had let out a loud snort turning to his master.

"No attachments, well, Master, if I didn't know better, I would say this was the beginning of something that was meant to be."  You swear you saw Anakin raise his eyebrows at Obi-wan, though you couldn't see properly from sitting behind.

"Keep your forked tongue behind you teeth." Why did that sound so familiar... Obi-wan was harsh to his Padawan, he didn't seem to be repulsed by you, maybe he felt uncomfortable by the tone of Anakins voice. W-wait did he just quote Gandalf?

After that everything was silent, for a while anyways, Obi-wan soon told you to go to the bathroom thing in the ship, you had already forgotten what he called it. Informing you that you should change into a set of clothes you were given; so that you would not stick out.

Clothing choice was good considering; you didn't know where you were going but you were glad you were given trousers for walking. Especially what you had been heard, you did not fancy being killed because you had tripped on the dress you were wearing.

The only reason they had took you to this planet was for them to negotiate with someone,  you could swear you saw one of them talking to someone on a hologram, why didn't they just do that. When you did arrive, you had to walk far into town. Security reasons, but the ship stood out more on it's own.

You were definitely not expecting to end up in pub, where else would they find a bad guy. It wasn't high tech like you had thought, it was a tavern, old fashioned. For a hot climate the bar was quite cool.

Strange that Obi-wan had made you sat at a table alone, there was a open space, you assumed for dancing, sat at a booth, you had perfect view to the little stage. Though there was no one there. Obi-wan and Anakin had went searching in the bar for the man or woman , or them, you weren't sure. You didn't understand how it was safer for you to be alone.

Twiddling your thumbs bored, the chat of bar was considerably low, it had already began to get dark. Soon enough the pub would be packed. You hadn't seen the man make his way on stage, standing in front of a microphone, while a couple of other people set up behind him. He did not look the band sort, but those other men were there to play the instruments, since there was only one mic.

It was only when the music began to play did you look up, a skinny man, stood at the microphone, his eyes the brightest blue, though his left pupil bigger than the right. His eyebrows had no ends, eyeshadow flicked up into an wing , the end facing his hairline, his cheekbones clearly highlighted. His hair huge , blond, long as well as being a mullet.

His shirt crisp white,with a leather brown vest, his sleeves puffy. The vest only went above his hip bones, beneath that was some very tight pants. They were almost leggings, the grey clearly presented his package. The boots what a slight heel on them reaching up his calves.

This man was clearly handsome, but he reminded you so much of Bowie, you couldn't help but feel drawn to him.

"There's such a sad love

Deep in your eyes a kind of pale jewel

Open and closed

Within your eyes

I'll place the sky

Within your eyes."

His gloved hands on the microphone, as your eyes were glued to him, his eyes gliding over the bar before meeting yours. His eyes eyes latching onto y/c ones, a grin spread across his face, showing his slightly croaked teeth. You quickly looked around making sure he was looking at you, glancing at Obi-wan and Anakin who were busy arguing.

"There's such a fooled heart

Beatin' so fast

In search of new dreams

A love that will last

Within your heart

I'll place the moon"

As your eyes went back to the man, his position now moved, instead of a microphone, he had a mouth piece, a few people waltzing together on the now on the empty space from earlier, but now it wasn't empty. Your heart raced as the man continued to sing, heading your way slowly, dancing with others as he did so.

"Within your heart

As the pain sweeps through

Makes no sense for you

Every thrill is gone

Wasn't too much fun at all"

You don't what possessed you to stand up, but you did. Your feet pulling you towards the dance floor, a smirk upon the mans face as he saw you approaching him, you had blinked and with that he had disappeared. Your eyes searching the crowd, he was still singing.

"But I'll be there for you-ou-ou

As the world falls down

Falling

As the world falls down

Falling

Falling in love."

You were feeling embarrassed when you could not find the man, especially being on the dance floor alone. You had almost had a heart attack when someone had placed their hand on your arm. Turning around you were face to face to the grinning man, offering you his hand. Your hand in his gloved one, the other on his shoulder, his on your waist.

"I'll paint you mornings of gold

I'll spin you Valentine evenings though we're strangers 'til now

We're choosing the path

Between the stars"

Smiling up at the man, you felt like nothing else matter, as you waltzed with him, your movements so smooth that his hair didn't even know. Maybe he wore a lot of hairspray. Your eyes never leaving his, you couldn't remember knowing how to waltz.

"I'll leave my love

Between the stars

As the pain sweeps through

Makes no sense for you

Every thrill is gone

Wasn't too much fun at all

But I'll be there for you-ou-ou

As the world falls down

Falling-"

What you did not notice was the two Jedi's calling your name, as they searched for you, only for Obi-wan to lock eyes onto you, getting Anakins attention, as he sighed. One rumb of the moustache and both of them started heading your way.

Jareth at eyes finally left yours, he had stopped singing, he had not let you go though.

"What are you doing, Y/n?" You had instantly unlaced your hand from the man, turning to face Obi-wan's disapproving glare, Anakin sniffled under his hand, glad he wasn't getting in trouble...again.

"Dancing?" You had even had a second to react when Anakin had stroked his moustache again, and the man was cuffed. Pulling you gently by the arm, you all made your way out of the bar, no doubt that was embarrassing. You had accidentally gotten the guy captured because you danced with him. Then again, Obi-wan would've spotted him singing as well, so maybe it wasn't your fault. Little nervous to why they wanted him, hopefully not for murder.

Once you did make it back to the ship, Anakin was to fly the ship, while the strange man  sat next to your bag, and you next to Obi-wan across from him. 

"I don't understand, I'll did was dance with him, he didn't try to kill me, so what's the problem?"  Obi-wan scoffed, staring at the man, not turning to even look at you.

"The problem is that he kidnaps children."

"No, I take the unwanted ones, those that are wished away." That sounded familiar, the hair, the pants, the David Bowie everything, it was clear who this man was.

"Ben, you can't speak him like that, do you not know who you have captured? He's Jareth, the goblin king!"  Jareth had just smirked at Obi-wan, quite frankly the outburst had made Obi-wan jump. No one called him Ben.

"W-well, I've heard stories of The Labyrinth."

"I'm sorry, how did I not see it before, the hair, the music, the very tight pants , the-"

"Why were you looking at his trousers?" Obi-wan now had turned to face you, his eyes eyes searching your face for answer, his voice stern, your face blushed. You really needed to stop talking about pants all the time.

"Do you want her to look at yours instead,Master?"  Obi -wan had choked his bearded face reddening. His eyes now off your face.

"Oh, I've already looked, what about some tighter pants , I must say you have lovely arse though." Placing a hand on Obi-wan's lower thigh, if his face was red before it was now, he couldn't look at you. A gentle squeeze of his thigh, and he had to excuse himself.

Once Obi-wan was out of ear range, the three of you laughed, though Anakin hadn't seen nor knew what tipped Obi-wan over the edge. However, Jareth had smirked at you, he knew very well what you had done. You had barely had known Obi-wan for four days, and he already felt like he was breaking the rules.

It was very clear why Obi-wan actually left the room, his trouser were now tight on him.

"So, love.."  You were surprised, obi-wan had taken the cuffs off Jareth in the ship and left him with you.  One of his legs , thrown over the end on table, as if it was an arm of a chair.

"Stop that." Anakin's voice stopped Jareth saying anymore.

Before you knew it, you had been talking to to Jareth the whole journey back, Obi-wan had came back shortly after; sitting next to Anakin. 

It was not like you had anything better to do other than speaking to the fae, Obi-wan just criticising Anakin. 'He's overly critical.' What do you want Anakin, a kiss on your cheek, oh sweetie you are doing absolutely amazing at killing the guys on our side.

Stepping out of the ship, Jareth now singing another song, like he was in a movie or something. You had caught eyes with about her man in robes, another Jedi. Hold on, that couldn't be Samuel L Jackson?

"Hey, Jareth?"

"Yes, love."

"Can't you just magic yourself out of this situation back to the your castle?" Jareth's hands weren't cuffed still, he had turned his face towards you with a grin, looking back at him, you felt bad he was only helping he wasn't killing people or anything. He was a lovely guy.

"Yes, I can, I was just waiting for a kiss goodbye." Pointing to his cheek, your pinks slightly pink as your pressed a kiss to his soft skin. With that you had pulled away, one last smile, he had turned dramatically, spinning his cape with him, glitter flying everywhere. Off flew a a light brown owl. He was gone.

"Mother fucker." Your lips turned up slightly trying to prevent a grin, as you turned back to the Jedi's that did not look impressed. Well, Anakin he did not care he just smiled, knowing you were probably were going to get in trouble. You literally didn't even do anything, all you did was kiss the mans cheek.

"What did you do?" Obi-wan eyes on you , his words  like a sharpened butter knife, you could say unnatural...even supernatural. This hands on his hips, pushing his robes back.

"W-what? Me? I told you he was bloody magic ;but no, you didn't listen."

"Control yourself, now come, Master Yoda requests all of you." Did he just tell Obi-wan to calm himself , he just called Jareth a motherfucker. 

The meeting with Yoda, Windu  and the three of you, wasn't with the Jedi republic. According to Yoda, this matter wasn't of importance, he didn't expect You'd been able to hold Jareth for very long. Master Windu, didn't give no shits, he was disappointed.

It wasn't like he killed a bunch of kids, not like Anakin was going to. Not just the men, but the woman and the children too. Jareth basically had loads of Goblin children living their best life's in the goblin city, that wasn't threatening. So, the Goblin king got away, why don't you go kill bloody Palpatine.

The next few weeks were not as eventful, stuck in your room bored, it was awkward to go out you didn't know anyone. Especially not Obi-wan you were pretty sure he hated you at the moment. You did not want to have to get involved with him and Anakin training. Exercise...no thanks.

You really did feel bad for how you acted towards Obi-wan, he was a Jedi you couldn't touch him like that. So, when he turned up at your room in the evening, with your dinner, it was surprising. Normally you'd get brought to dinner by one of the younglings.

Obi-wan stood in front of you with a small smile as he held the tray. The tray with two plates of dinner.

"O-oh, hi," pulling the door open with the door handle allowing Obi-wan into your room, before shutting it behind him.

"I thought maybe you wanted someone to eat with you," He did not expand further. Obi-wan was a kind man, he took a pact basically to have no family no nothing, just to protect the galaxy. With a high chance of death, he was a noble man, you couldn't think of anyone you knew from back home that would do that. You should not have gave him a boner.

Placing the tray on the table within your room, but instead of sitting down, he had lifted the whole table towards the balcony. Obi-wan has , went to Yoda before coming to your room, stating this was strictly professional nothing more. Yoda had just laughed. "Dine with her , you will."

Seeing what Obi-wan was doing, you had grabbed a chair too, onto the the stone of the balcony. The view of the planet, Coruscant was not the best, but it was better than looking at a wall. Ten again you'd be eating in a moment so you wouldn't have to look at either. Fresh are was good though.

Sitting down at the round table with Obi-wan was weird, you really felt guilty for your behaviour it was eating you up, whilst you both ate your dinners up. Looking up to Obi-wan, his eyes fixed to his plate as he struggle to cut a potato, his golden hair tucked behind his eyes.  Orange light from the setting sun shined into his hair, as well as his cheeks, his eyes glistening.  

"The way I acted on the ship, was completely inappropriate, I am so sorry, there is no excuse for my behaviour.  I admit I'm glad you are here now. I don't expect you to forgive me."

Obi-wan's eyes now looking back into yours, his eyebrows frowning together slightly, his knife and fork on his plate, as he lent back in the chair. Rubbing your sweaty hands along your trousers roughly, a small laugh let his lips.

"I must have missed something, you complimented my behind and squeezed my knee. That's hardly anything to apologise for, if anything I would've expected an apology for not listening to my orders."  That guilt did seem to fade away, mostly. Your cheeks reddening, as Oni-wan continued to look at you.

"I'm sorry for not following your orders, especially when in a pub on a strange planet."

Smiling at each for a moment before going back to your dinners before they got cold.  Not speaking fully until you had both finished eating.  

This became a daily occurrence for weeks, then months. You were still not returned home, you were stuck. You didn't feel alone not like you did when you first arrived. You did miss home very much, but nothing could be done about that. 

Sometimes, sorry, every time Obi-wan went out of Coruscant you went with. Even if it was dangerous, either you'd stay in the ship or simply go wherever with him.  It wasn't hard to see how close you had gotten to Obi-wan, the Jedi council did not like it one bit, not that you knew that.  Obi-wan had insisted that he had been assigned to protecting you and that was what he was doing. Not that was far from the truth.

No attachments, Kenobi? Okay.

What makes matters worse you had no currency, it wasn't hard to guess who would supply you with clothing's such. Obi-wan would take you to the market to buy you anything you needed. In return, well, there wasn't much you could do, certainly wasn't safe for you to go off on your own, especially not being from this universe. So, you just kept him company.

Anakin being Obi-wan's padawan he came along too, not to the market but on missions, but that was obvious. You had felt like a burden , you really did,  being reassured you weren't, Obi-wan had given you a role. A purpose. You were their healer.

Not Obi-wan purposely getting small injuries, he'd argue wit himself and sometimes Anakin, that it wasn't on purpose and if it was it was only to make you feel like you part of their team. Not that Obi-wan longed for the soft touches of your skin on his.

However, he was not expecting you to get hurt, no he would not have, he had sworn to protect you and he had failed. You had arrived on this strange planet for 'negotiations' for this clan to basically team up with the republic, but Darth Maul had gotten there first. Of course, you had been kidnapped, since Obi-wan told you to stay in the ship.

Darth held you off the floor by the back of your neck, holding the lightsaber out ready to kill you, not really just leverage. Obi-wan and Anakin in front, they really had no plan. Well, Darth Maul almost stabbed you, but you had the higher air and took a blade from your pocket and stabbed yourself. Blood pouring out of your Abdomen, as your eyes watered, your throat blocked up.

Dropping you to the floor, Darth Maul had laughed. "Oh, I like her." Obi-wan did not like that at all, seeing you face down on the cold floor him an Anakin activated their lightsabers.I could describe the whole fight sequence, but you already know Darth Maul wiggled himself out of that situation back to the Sith, not surprising, you wouldn't remember anyways, you had passed out.

The clan now on the republics side,  only because the Jedi's had saved them and promised protection.

Obi-wan had carried you back to the ship with Anakin, who began to start the ship. He felt guilty to wake you up, he would rather stitch you up when you were unconscious.The thought of hurting you plagued his heart, maybe he should get Anakin to do it. No, he couldn't go through with someone else hurting you.

Grabbing the medical kit, Obi-wan had made his way back to the bed, your body still, he would've been happy if this was Anakin. The thought crossed his mind, to stab Anakin, so he'd bloody shut up. Our tunic now drenched with blood, he could clearly see the tear in your shirt. He was not going to wake you , deciding just to cut a square out of your shirt.

You wouldn't be surprised if that shirt wasn't fashion back home, you know people wearing bandanas as shirts, here's what hot now, reveal your hip and your abdomen with a square hole! Who knows, I don't know anything about fashion, except I dress like David Bowie. Shut up , no one cares.

Your face was already laced with cold beads sweat, like Obi-wan but he felt like furnace, his long hair pushed back, his lips squished together as he grabbed the anaesthesia, pulling up your sleeve carefully before injecting it quickly. Then he had gotten to work, soon enough, you was stitched up.

Only problem was, that Sith had damaged the ship, so Anakin only got the three of you so far before having to land on freezing planet. But, it gets better, Anakin being really great, and supposedly a great pilot had hit the side of a mountain. Snow had covered the ship, you were trapped by an ocean of snow.

Of course, R2 hadn't came in this trip, just luck, only thing that was working was the heating and lights, the signal had gone. No way to contact anyone, however, someone was bound to notice in a few days something had gone wrong.

This was not going to be like without a paddle, where you'd all be in your underwear and spoon. We do not shaggy here, um? Get it before Shaggy is in that movie? 

Eventually, you had woken up, a little dizzy, probably would not have if Anakin wasn't having a tantrum. You didn't even question how you got back to the ship, your shoes tapped quietly against the floor , as you made your way to the cockpit.  Both Obi-wan and Anakin were stood in the centre of the room, Anakin point and clenching his fists, Obi-wan just stood there.

You got a feeling that Anakin was not good at keeping his emotions in check, why was he always so emotional. Obi-wan was now sipping juice, no blue milk, yuck, Anakin still shouting.

"You're jealous, master. You're afraid I am getting too powerful, you want me to fail!"  Placing his drink down, Obi-wan had caught your eyes,  his face lightened into a smile from his frown. "Mum,  you think I am ready to be a Jedi Master, right?"  His eyes soft on the sight of you, coughing slightly, you had looked back at Obi-wan who turned to you in a swing, now amused by his Padawan.

"I'm sorry, aren't I a similar age to you?" The cold temperatures from the snow, had transferred into the ship, but Anakins cheeks still burned. He just stood looking at you unable to speak, Obi-wan had laughed patting his Padawan on the back once.

"Don't worry about it; he does it to everyone. When he was younger, it was difficult to convince him to stop calling me father. Sometimes, he still does." 

"Liar, I do not. You treat me like a whore ; calling everyone my father. I do not, it was mistake!"  Anakin was overwhelmed, his voice defensive and loud as he left the room, leaving you with Obi-wan, who's lips were twitched into a large smile , as he stroked his moustache.

For a few moments you both stood in silence, before you had looked down to the ache and coldness on your lower abdomen. A hole on in your shirt where you we're stabbed, now stitched up.

"Oh yes, sorry about your shirt." Your finger tips tracing the fabric, then touching the wound, pain shot through your body, letting out a welp. Obi-wan eyes had widened, stepping close to inspect the wound again, why would you poke it?

"It's just a shirt, it's not like you don't buy them all anyways, thank you for that again, also thank you for stitching me up ,  that was you?"  Your voice quiet, under his gaze, a deep chuckle had left his mouth.

"Yes, I did, I hardly trust Anakin's flying, how are you feeling? That was very well done back there, but I do recommend you don't do it again." You had scoffed, letting out a short laugh after, Obi-wan looked at you rising his eyebrows, to warning you.

“Oh, yes, I plan on stabbing myself again, who do you think I am? Loki? Okay, maybe I’ll fake my death for attention too.” Obi-wan’s hands gently placed on your shoulders, squeezing lightly , as he looked into your eyes. His blue orbs intensely on yours, his hair neatly tucked back.

“I wouldn’t allow that, from now on you don’t stay in the ship alone, If something happens to you I’d never forgive myself, and I believe that you were sent here for a reason. Not to die.” His hands had left you , smiling at you once more, before leaving the cockpit.

Not only after that you had retired to your bed, in clothes without holes, your now many blankets covered you. Thanks to Obi-wan again, since you all spent so much time on the ship, it was necessary for situations like this. Of course, as long as the ship wasn’t blown up again.

Though the heating was working, it didn’t stop the cold from the outside. Curled up so tight in your blankets, trying to retain heat, you could not get comfortable to sleep. The cold nipping at your feet and cheeks, your nose was probably red too.

Only an hour or two from when you first got into bed, sighing , all your blankets wrapped around you, stepping out of bed. Quietly, making your way around the ship, just to tire yourself out, or to make yourself really cold. So, when you would get back into bed you’d be like ‘oooh warm’ and fall asleep.

You had meant to wake in on Obi-wan sat in his chair in the cockpit, wrapped up in his robes, seemingly fast asleep. His arms crossed, his auburn hair covering his face , neck cranked forward. He was going to have a sore neck in the morning.

Turning on your feet, slowing walking out of the room, pulling your blankets tighter. A sigh had left Obi-wan’s mouth, not loud but you heard it. Your movement now softened, you continued with tiny steps.

“I know you are there, Y/n, come back.” No doubt you almost peed yourself, hearing Obi-wand raspy voice, he had been a sleep, you felt horrible. Walking back from the door way, Obi-wan had turned to chair to look at you.

“I didn’t mean to wake, I didn’t know you was even in here.” Obi-wan opened his mouth yawning loudly, before looking back at you, snorting a laugh, at your choice of clothes.

“What are doing up?” Shifting on your feet, covered with socks, the icy floor numbing them.

“Can’t sleep, aren’t you cold?” You wondered if Anakin was having trouble sleeping too, he must’ve been fine, since he left Obi-wan in here. Obi-wan probably never meant to fall asleep, waiting for anyone to contact. Shaking his head, he had opening his arms up gesturing you over.

“Come here, darling.” Not sure on what he was going to do, yet you still walked towards him, you trusted him. You were glad if you were stuck you was stuck with the Jedi. Pressing his palm around your clenched hand that held tightly onto your blanket. His hands were really warm, like had them between his thighs. His lips moulded into a circle shape, inhaling sharply.

“Oh, I should’ve brought you more blankets.” His hand still on yours, looking up at you, a small smile on your face, your teeth felt like ice cubes, a few moments went by, you weren’t sure what he was waiting for or what you were waiting for.

“ Do you think I could stay here...with you?” Your cheeks now felt hot, the words barely a whisper, you shouldn’t have asked, it’s completely inappropriate. “I-I can go back to bed-“

“Nonsense.” Obi-wan had pulling you into his lap, okay, so maybe you thought he would’ve been like yeah and you would’ve sat in the chair next to him. You head resting against his chest, his stubble tickling upon your head. Obi-wan’s arms wrapped around you tightly, sealing the blankets. Yours around his waist, feet tucked up on the chair, as well. Obi-wan warmth surrounded you with his scent, the soft touch of his lips against your temple.

“Am I allowed to love you, Ben?” Your eyes fluttered closed, your voice barely above a whisper, Obi-wan’s heart hitched into his throat. He flirted too often and he knew it, and he knew that his feelings weren’t platonic either, he wouldn’t have spent dinner every night alone with just anybody.

“No, I suppose you’re not.” What would the council feel about this, he wished he could blame Yoda for making him guardian over you and that first dinner with you.

“If you aren’t supposed to have attachments, then what am I? You promised Master Yoda to protect me, isn’t that an attachment. Would anyone be able to tell? You have to be with me pretty sure all day anyways.”

Your words made him ponder for a moment, he knew you were right, you had already acting like you were together for a long time, not directly in front of council though. It was clear Anakin saw it too, he wouldn’t have called you mum, that was weird though. Maybe he has a kink think because he hasn’t seen his mum since he was 9.

Obi-wan looked over you all the time, brought you everything you needed, ate dinner with you, kept you warm, stitched you up, protected you from strange people. There were times where you’d turn up to his room crying, or upset or missing home, he’d comfort you. Similarly to this situation, you’d end up in his bed, not like that, you in his arms stroking your hair, pressing a kiss to your temple as you fell asleep. It was not new.

“You are right, I love you.” Looking up to the Jedi, as he smiled down at you.

“You do?”

“I do.” He may not have kissed you then, but you had time, you weren’t about to let Anakin take him from you. What mattered was you were together, even being away from your home, you had another. With Ben and a ‘son’ that was older than you.

Oh , Anakin was so cheeky when he had awoken in the morning seen you against his masters chest.

“I knew it.”

[bookwyrminspiration]

WAIT. I'm late to the party but I just remembered all those anons were sending in "why I send you asks" and their reasons and I actually really want to participate, so I hope you will accept late applications?

The reason I send you so many asks is because you've just...built such a nice feeling that anything can be discussed, and it's never too niche or cringy or boring, and that's really relieving and amazing.

I'm sure you (along with many others) have realized by now, but I suffer from....really bad anxiety, both social anxiety and just in general, and it very often gets in the way of my life. Because of this and past experiences, I'm always very scared and hesitant to talk about my interests and my thoughts on anything.

But every time I've sent you an ask, even if it was, in retrospect, probably really annoying to read through the one hundred "sorry"s and "my bad"s, you've always been nothing but kind and interested in my ideas, and that was just...so surprising. Because I never really knew anyone who was willing to talk about anything, and it was just...really amazing to meet someone who was! Especially because I love and am interested in so many different things and kind of need someone to bounce ideas at. And it was really cool to see someone that was unashamed of their own interests and thoughts, but didn't make others feel bad for having different ideas.

Every time I send you an ask, you always have something interesting to say back. Something I hadn't thought of or considered, or a query that would make me rethink my own theories, or just a very well-thought-out answer to a question. I remember sending in tons of asks about the wings AU before it was released, and writing those was probably the highlight of my day, because I knew you'd take them and run with the ideas, and do your best to match my energy, and I was really grateful for that. And you were always willing to dig deeper, to think "but what if there was more?" and that's just...incredible! I don't have any other word for it!

I love sending you asks because you don't dismiss an idea or deem it as stupid, and you're just...such a kind and wonderful person that can make even the most obscure subject infinitely more interesting than before, and you never fail to make me consider things again, to expand my thoughts and views, and I'm really grateful for that.

So, because it should definitely be said by now, thank you!

And, well, that's why I love sending you asks :]

- pyro

there is no timeline so there's no way to be late! and I'm answering this a few days after you sent this, so if you believe yourself to be late then we can both be late together :D. you are fully welcome to participate if you want to (which you said you did)! it was mostly just a random question I had because i'm just as analytical with myself as I am with keeper, and knowing how other perceive and think of me is helpful for that--and I was curious about how i'd aquired so many asks so quickly, and then you all just turned it into complimenting quil hours for some reason !! (but on to your ask before I get even more distracted)

(note from a quil who has answered all of this: got very long so that's why there's a readmore! i love you /p)

this means so much to me--specifically your use of "built" because I do try pretty hard to maintain a positive atmosphere and welcome everyone in and treat everyone with the same attention. it didn't just fall into place, i try to be encouraging to everyone and support all the amazing work--art, writing, ideas, etc--I see from people. (note: i've been wanting to do a thing where I ask for fic/art/other recommendations from others (can be friends or their own) so i can go through and reblog a bunch of them with comments and the like, I just want to get through more of my asks before I start something like that). But you're right--nothing is too niche! there's so many details in the story it's impossible for one person to notice anything, so people bringing up the obscure and their own thoughts makes the story richer and more fleshed out for everyone else! and i think it's really cool to just see what other people focus on (like I said, my analysis isn't limited to characters, but I'm not like dissecting you all to understand each of you in a creepy way or anything. I just like to get a better sense of someone so I can respond in a way more tailored to them when we interact)

anxiety can really suck, so as someone who also has anxiety i am giving you a comforting hug if you'd like one. it genuinely impacts everything you do and think about, rewriting how you experience life. a single, inconsequential experience to someone else can literally change major aspects of how we think, which makes interactions so scary sometimes. i remember things people said years ago and still base my actions around them, but those people have absolutely no recollection of ever saying it, but just the fear of having done something wrong once permanently altered my thinking. (this is not to make this about me, I'm just trying to show I understand by sharing an experience of my own).

reading through all your "i'm sorry"s and "my bad"s wasn't annoying and never will be. you have never had anything to apologize for, and I know that sometimes you feel you need to enter a conversation and first apologize for being there, but I'm thrilled to have you here and always love seeing you in my inbox. I don't know how to articulate this properly, but I'm going to try. i saw your apologies and your apprehension as...a puzzle? that's absolutely not the right word but I can't think of the right one so please let me explain (I don't mean to imply you're like something to be solved or a problem in any way. words can be difficult and I'm trying to describe something very intangible rn, so I hope this doesn't sound bad). I didn't see it as annoying (you're never annoying), I saw it like it was something to work through, and while it's not my job or anything to help other's with their personal problems, it was like if I could just provide one space where I could encourage you (not just you, but anyone) as a friend to try shifting your language and start thinking of yourself more positively, then I wanted to give that.

because I am interested in your ideas! and I want to be kind and welcoming to you! but I also want you to be kind to yourself, so any impact I've had to give anyone a safer, less scary space is really cool. I don't know if that made sense, but I'm not trying to talk down to you or anything or be like I'm this high and mighty figure harboring lost souls or something, just that connection is important and I like being there for people. kinda worried that sounded bad because it feels worded strange but I'm trying to reciprocate and say i appreciate you and am happy to talk about anything!

i love bouncing ideas back and forth and you are more than welcome to say anything and everything you're thinking about. talking to you is always an absolutely joy and I get so excited when you send me an ask and when you're reading my response, because it often feels like this like...buzz? like we're just vibing on this frequency and it makes it so much fun to throw ideas back and forth and just listen to each other talk. i am very glad to have surprised you and met you! I don't know a lot of people like myself either, so having someone like you interact with me and just go all out on these little things and what we personally like about different parts of the so much fun. a lot of the other people I know irl feel like they just scratch the surface, they say things just to get credit for it and to appear like they know what they're talking about while ignoring all these other things that have such an impact, so it's amazing to have found someone else who looks at everything and anything like I do. my brain really is "a little bit of everything all of the time" so knowing you have so many different interests too is really cool. i am giving you an internet high five and pretending you aren't so far away.

I spent so much of my life being quiet when I had so many thoughts, so now that I have this kind of outlet I just! want to say everything I can! i want to look at everything from every perspective possible! the world is a huge collection of things tied together and I love following the strings to find the connected pieces! but I think that's a way of approaching the world not a lot of people share (I could be wrong), so it's really cool to hear you think my thought process is interesting!! my brain is practically composed entirely of questions. any subject at any time of the day and nearly all of my thoughts are just wanting to know more and trying to understand things, so having that opportunity to ask further questions and just learn things (about what other's thing, how things work, etc) is so much fun. you might've seen me ask some questions of other's in a few of the asks I answer, but those barely scratch the surface of just how many I have. my handle is in_quil_sitive (inquisitve) on nearly every social media platform (except for this one) for a reason.

I remember some of your asks from before the wings au was published, too. those were absolutely incredible, and I got a rush of excitement every time I saw you sent another. those were the the highlight of my week, too!! your enthusiasm and excitement for something I hadn't even posted yet gave me so much motivation to continue and you helped me think through so many future ideas and consider things from new perspectives. i know i specifically wrote that you inspired one chapter in the notes, but you've had an impact on every single chapter of this story/ it wouldn't be what it is without you, and I mean that with complete sincerity. you were the one who made me think "what if there was more" so I could make this au even better and work towards something bigger. I just have so many thoughts about everything all of the time, I can't go more than a few minutes without being distracted by a different train of thought, but knowing there was someone who would want to hear all the weird, disjointed ideas i'd strung together and composed into a more cohesive format was so cool. there's just so much to think about!!

I probably sound repetitive at this point but I love answering your asks because you're so receptive to the way i say things and it's like you're actually listening and want to hear what I specifically have to say, not just the general ideas. you want to know my unique, personalized opinions and perspectives and don't just dismiss them when they're not what you expect to hear or aren't generic. you're incredibly kind, too, I hope you know. I love the description of how I can "make even the most obscure subject infinitely more interesting than before." that is such a meaningful compliment to me. I just keep thinking about this line over and over again and it just...it really means a lot. because you're saying it's me that interests you and not just what I talk about. I could talk about anything and you'd still want to interact with me and that's so fucking nice. I hope you know the same goes for you. we can challenge each other's thinking together and make things even deeper and more complex before together <33.

thank you for being here and being my friend, pyro. talking to you is always one of the highlights of my day and gives me a very positive feeling that I carry around for a while. I do this thing sometimes where I film myself to later observe my behaviors in the middle of intense emotions to understand myself better (back to that whole analysis thing again), but it's not just negative things, it's also when I'm really excited or pleased with something and jumping around and stimming and all that, and some of those are from when I interact with you. that might sound a little weird but I mean it positively, as in talking with you makes me ecstatic.

I have said. so many things. so I will stop (for now). but I really appreciate having you in my life <33

[lunavadash-creates]

Hello there! It's your favorite Knifey of all knifeys.!

Sorry for lack of response but.. but what. I dont know if it's because of vaccine, but I'm exhausted lately. I could sleep all day and all night. My concentration doesn't exist anymore. And yes, vaccine knocked me out! My hand didn't hurt to be honest, but I had high fever and migraine. I got blood test to see if there is anything wrong, but the results are good. I have no idea what's going on. 😐

How are you Sweetie? Did you have proper rest after your trip? Tell me how it was! What did you see! Tell me everything!

I was thinking about words you said. That adventures starting in a secret are the best ones. You were right. When I got my dog I was trying to hide my allergy for almost 4 month! I was determined to have a doggo, so I have been talking my friend's meds for allergy as she is hardcore allergic. I admit, it was stupid and irresponsible, but definitely it was worth all the risk!

Haha, yes, I was in Venice and in Florence and other Italian cities. I just love travelling! It's not I am from wealthy family or something, I am not. I have no savings, because I spend all my money on traveling. I was working for 3 month everyday for 12-13 hours in a pub so I could spend half month in South Korea. Dealing with all those creepy and drunk men was also worthy!

And I just wanted to say you are the sweetest! Your messages always make me smile! Always! Thank you so much for all your encouraging words! They make me feel better! Your messages, your writing, everything.! I love to check your blog, I love content you share with your followers. And you deserve all the support! Please don't change, you are wonderful and so asdfghjkllove!💕

Sorry for all mistakes and grammar, my brain doesn't want to cooperate.

Loads of love! Take care of yourself or Altair will be highly disappointed if you don't! And me too.!

🔪

Dont worry about response! Its worth waiting to see your message in my inbox! And I get it, vaccines are scary and you never know how it will make you react. For example i had jj vaccine my hand hurt for like 5 days but except from that i was fine! So if you feel exhausted just rest, drink water, eat something tasty. Im happy you are not so much more safer! I hope you'll feel better soon, please keep me updated!

Ah as for me... I have health problem again. My leg suddenly got swollen almost 3 weeks ago and now it hurts a lot so I cant walk. I already have usg of veins and x-Ray but it showed nothing so tomorrow ill call another doctor and make appointement.

Fortunately my trip was amazing! What I saw? Well I love museum so we went to musaum of torture and museum of sex toys. Honestly the second one was my fave - the have sex toys from all around the world and from different periods. Like they have full bdsm equipement and shoes and ancient roman prostitutes (u know, the ones that left foot print on the ground with words 'follow my foot steps'). It was so amazing! I also saw charles university, charles bridge, rose gardens, cafhedrals and all amazing places. I also was in metro! (there is 1 line of metro in my country and its in the capital). I also had Czech McDonalds which is so tasty! And for the first time in ny life i was in a vegan/vegetarian restaurant and i truly liked the food!

As for adventures. It was my firdt. I love traveling but unfortunately i have no friends to travel with. So I used to travel with family and prague was my first, alone travel abroad to visit a friend. I hope i can do it more often because world has so much to offer. And you know what? Our lives are so short there is no point of wasting them on being afraid to risk!

YOU WERE IN SOUTH KOREA?! I ENVU U SO MUCH GOOD GODS. Knifey you are such a role model for me 🥺💜 i want ti be as brave as you. And hard working as you.

Tell me everything please?

Also doggy! Yes, hiding allergy wasnt the smartest move but im glad you are fine (you are, right?). I hope you can fight thst allergy and enjoy floofy companions!

One again thank you for your kind words and support. Honestly I want to change a bit, i need to go back to who i used to be in terms of working. I cant focus on stuff, i cant make myself do things i love. It tiring, you know? I used to read one book a day. Write a lot and a lot of fiction and my own stories. I used to study Japanese fir fun, writing all the signs and trying to remember them. Now I feel like a wreck that cant concentrate. But I will work hard to become a better person so I can post more! And I wish to make more people happy. You know whag is for me the biggest achievement? When people say i managed to make them smile/laugh and something i made made them happy. Your messages give me so much positive energy! Thank you again!

You asked for pictures so here is astronomical clock, president Palace and a rose from rose garden!

[starrybluez]

I was tagged by @music-on-canvas to answer these Halloween questions 🎃. Thank you very much for the tag! 💜

1. 🎃 Pumpkin: Favourite season?

Spring, seeing the cherry blossom, magnolia trees and wisteria in bloom. And being able to look forward to warmer weather! While I do love the traditions of autumn and the changing leaves, I'm well aware of how quickly winter creeps up.

2. 👻 Ghost: Do you get scared easily?

Yes sadly I am as jumpy as a Mexican jumping bean

3. 🎃 Candy Corn: What's your favourite kind of candy?

Dark chocolate, but also can never pass up peanut butter cups

4. 👻 Vampire: What is your favourite supernatural creature?

5. 🎃 Witch: If you could have any superpower, what would it be?

Travel back in time. (See answer to #4)

6. 👻 Trick or treat: What was your favourite Halloween costume?

My costume ideas were really unoriginal, but there was one that my mom really put a lot of work into. I decided one year (6th grade I think) that I wanted to dress up as a rich lady (told you I was unoriginal). My mom made me a white satin dress and let me borrow her fur stole, pearls and big floppy hat. It was with her help that I won a prize for most beautiful costume. A lovely memory. 💖

7. 🎃 Black cat: are you superstitious?

Not really, especially when it comes to black cats - I love them! But I don't make a habit of walking under ladders & breaking mirrors...not because it's unlucky, but because it's kind of a bad idea.

8. 👻 Ouija Board: If you could change your name, what would you change it to?

Good question...I can't picture myself as anyone other than a Dina. I'm not wild about it, but it goes nicely with my last name.

9. 🎃 Graveyard: do you know any good scary stories?

There was a part in Jane Eyre that really spooked me when I read it - that part that involves the madwoman. Terrifying.

10. 👻 Skeleton: have you ever broken a bone?

No, not yet, thankfully

11. 🎃 Werewolf: what is your favourite urban legend?

Not sure I have one.

12. 👻 Horror flick: do you like scary movies? If so, which one is your favourite?

I usually avoid scary movies but made an exception for The Lost Boys. My main reason for liking it was because I thought some of the vampires were hot. Scary but hot.

13. 🎃 Haunted house: Would you prefer to live in the city or the country?

If I could crawl into an Anne of Green Gables book I would. So the country it is.

14. 👻 Zombie: do you think that you could survive a zombie apocalypse?

Uhh probably not.

15. 🎃 Cauldron: what kind of potion would you make if you had the opportunity?

A brain potion. And not just for me. Though I think the answer @music-on-canvas had about the healing potion is better.

16. 👻 Full moon: do you prefer nighttime or daytime?

Well it's safer to walk during the day, but also enjoy nighttime when I can relax.

17. 🎃 Corn maze: what is your favourite autumn activity?

It's a tie between drinking hot apple cider and photographing fall foliage.

18. 👻 Broomstick: what exciting places have you travelled to?

Florence, Venice, Cannes

This is a lot of questions so not sure who will do this but I'll tag @fatal-plastic-kiss @livinginsynth @duranarchy-in-the-uk and @niterunner. Only if you feel like it! ☺