“You’ve ruined me,” Richard pants, his blonde hair is sticking up, he’s covered in a light sheen of sweat, and his green eyes are blown wide open as he tries to compose himself, “I… I can’t- Hannah could never…”
He stares at you as you lie below him, equally sweaty, your neck and shoulders are littered with hickeys and bite marks, and you’re on the verge of passing out. The rims of your eyes are red, and your face is moist with tears. Your lip is swollen from Richard’s teeth digging into them, nearly tearing them off in his fervour.
You look like you’re about to die.
He looks more alive than he ever has before.
Richard looks like he wants to do it again.
Yet his eyes are filled with fear, and you want to laugh, but your throat is crying out in pain.
when A is feverish and has chills in an overly air-conditioned office during the summer, so they just sit and shiver at their desk, trying to keep warm by clutching a hot cup of tea in their frozen fingers.
their desk is right under the vent, so they keep a cardigan wrapped around their shoulders for warmth and to try and shield them from the bitterly cold draft. even so, they tremble from head to toe, teeth chattering so loudly that their next door desk mate can hear them.
they take their lunch break outside and sit in their sun-warmed car to thaw their chilled bones, but it only makes the office feel that much colder and more miserable when they have to come back inside.
after a while, their desk mate pops their head over the cubicle and begs A to just go home. A, who feels awful, promptly bursts into tears.
goal for next week is to try and go for a walk every WFH/weekend day, and if the weather turns again then exercise bike instead. also to remember to take my vitamins every day bc once again I am belatedly realizing that the Family Anemia is probably contributing to my lethargy and general bad vibes the past few weeks.
Nothing like the end of a year to really drive home your feelings of loneliness.
(some venting in the tags, it's that time of the year again. also to the two people from offline life potentially reading this: this is obviously not about you and I care about you deeply)