#probably gonna write about him being in denial about being gay while also accepting the fact that the reader gives better head than his gf

[sagesskies]

ʀɪᴄʜᴀʀᴅ ꜱʜᴇᴘʜᴇʀᴅ

✒ ʙᴜʀɴɪɴɢ ᴘɪᴄᴛᴜʀᴇꜱ

ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇꜱ: ɪᴍᴘʟɪᴇᴅ ɴᴏɴᴄᴏɴ, ᴄʜᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ

“You’ve ruined me,” Richard pants, his blonde hair is sticking up, he’s covered in a light sheen of sweat, and his green eyes are blown wide open as he tries to compose himself, “I… I can’t- Hannah could never…” 

He stares at you as you lie below him, equally sweaty, your neck and shoulders are littered with hickeys and bite marks, and you’re on the verge of passing out. The rims of your eyes are red, and your face is moist with tears. Your lip is swollen from Richard’s teeth digging into them, nearly tearing them off in his fervour. 

You look like you’re about to die. 

He looks more alive than he ever has before. 

Richard looks like he wants to do it again. 

Yet his eyes are filled with fear, and you want to laugh, but your throat is crying out in pain.

“You’ve ruined me.”

☏ - ᴠᴏɪᴄᴇᴍᴀɪʟ: ᴍʀ. ꜱᴀɢᴇ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴍɪɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʀᴇQᴜᴇꜱᴛꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ᴏᴘᴇɴ, ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ'ᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴇᴇ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜɪꜱ.

[lover-of-mine]

So. first off - I your colour theory posts are amazing, they are the first thing I ever saw of yours and I immediately fell in love.

Secondly, I just saw your recent response re: your thoughts about 7x04 & 7x05 and am wondering if maybe things will make more sense, or at least be easier to articulate, once 7x06 is out.

Hi, first, thank you, I'm so glad you enjoy them 🩷

But, yeah, probably. Because the more data points on something the easier it will be to figure out what they mean. It was easy for me to figure out how to articulate all I wanted with my blue and green posts because the blue and green is being used since season 2, so there's a lot resolved for me to look at to figure out patterns. But this season, we are using new rules. Like, for instance, Buck being canonically bi, makes Eddie a love interest officially, so they have different rules being applied to them now. I think the show might be creating a whole new category of stuff there because we never had a proper triangle before. I have some theories, but I don't have anything to back me up on them fully yet, because this development is in the middle, so trying to write something now kinda feels like I'm trying to write a summary on a book I didn't finish reading. Everything about the season so far is telling me that Buck and Eddie are gonna get together but they need to figure out they are queer first. Or at least tell the audience that. Like, they have enough space to say that Eddie already knows he has feelings for Buck in some degree, in all degrees actually, they can argue Eddie from fully in denial to aware of something he needs to deny to fully in acceptance that he thinks Buck can't love him back, but they would still need to figure out a way to tell the audience that outside of Buck (as in not in a scene with Buck) so that the "Eddie turned gay for Buck" argument can't be used. Because I can't turn off the writer side of my brain trying to guess where this is going narratively while doing analysis like that, and I think, for instance the blue and yellow is telling me something on that, but since I don't think the show has used this combo like this before (and I hadn't had the time to fact check my current theory) I don't have a resolved plotline to use, so I'm kinda speculating on a lot more than just the pattern since this season is in the middle and we don't have the story they are trying to tell yet and I don't love going down that line alone. Like, it was fun writing about the sun within the construction on sunset theory, but I think the actual yellow/gold the keep putting around Eddie and behind Buck is being used for something more than that but I don't know how to explain why I think that.

There's also the way they are handling the blue and green thing this season, I can't tell if they proved me right and they have been completing the blue and green thing with other elements of the scene, since we had Henren in blue and green with both of them using both blue and green down to their shoes or the patterns of their clothes this last episode, we had bathena completing it with pants, we had Buck with a green coat and Eddie surrounded by blue things, even the date between Buck and Tommy, Buck usually is in solid colors, but his shirt was patterned where Tommy's was solid, or if they decided to expand this season and the shit I pointed out before are coincidences. The season being in the middle means it can turn in any direction, so I'm kinda unsure of what to say because right now I feel like I'm completely off base and that makes me not feel confident enough in what I'm saying when I try to write on 704 and 705, and if I'm not confident of what I'm saying, then how I'm supposed to convince y'all of anything? Does that make sense? Like I have more thoughts on 704 after watching 705, the same way both gave me thoughts on 701, but they still sound like gibberish to me so I know they will sound like gibberish to you, so I'm waiting and letting the thoughts simmer.

[bluecloudious]

Kinda angst I guess (but it has Zanaz so take that with a grain of salt)

Trying out writing a story this time.

I mean, yeah, I wrote for the comics, but not long dialog.

So yea, as per both the funni boys mature content warning. (There's no canoodling, there is talk of it tho.)

Also there's quite a bit of text (8 pages worth on Word)

So ye:

“Get up, I have some juicy gossip for you.”

...What?

I open my eyes and the world around me is blinding. It’s so bright that it takes a second to adjust to it. There’s nothing around me other than vast white and empty space.

This definitely isn’t Nevada anymore. (Unless Hank managed to ruin everything even further somehow.)

“Get up now, I know you heard me.”

I get up and look around. Who the hell is talking? There’s literally nothing but white for miles.

“I’m in your head, pretty boy.”

Uh, that…

“I’m holding my eyes closed, don’t worry. I regret ever having them open in here, in fact.”

Welp, that answers that. Now for the other question.

“Who I am is not important. What info I have, may be of interest, though.”

Alright?

“There’s a deal attached to this knowledge, Zanaz. Hear me out before you start fidgeting.”

I’ll sure try.

“You know Kits, right?”

No duh, he’s my best friend.

“Excellent. He’s going to die soon.”

…

What?! Wha, when, how, uh--

“Calm down, jitterbug. There’s nothing you can do to stop his fate, so don’t try. If he doesn’t die one way, another thing will go wrong. Understand?”

I-- NO! What the fuck?! Are you gonna kill him?!

“No, not me. I’m just sharing the news.”

Yeah, right, sure. Fucking… When then?

“Soon.”

How soon? In a month, week or a few days?

“Hm… A month then, give or take.”

...Fuck… How?

“Depends on what leads up to it.”

So, there are a lot of different ways it can happen, right?

“Indeed there are.”

...Do I die with him?

“No.”

NO?! In none of the different variations, I don’t die by his side?

“Oh, you can be by his side, of course. But death isn’t after you.”

What if I try to block a bullet, but it goes through both of us.

“Oddly specific. You’ll still survive.”

What if I block it with my head?!

“Brain damage, possible vegetable state. Will still survive though.”

What if Hank slices us with one of his multiple katanas?!

“People have lived through being sliced in half before.”

WHAT.

“This world has zombie clowns with god like powers and the AAHW is lead by a man consisting of black fire.”

...Ugh, fair enough. So… Wait those are all possible deaths for him?

“If you do everything in your power for it to happen, then yes.”

I… I can kill him before his time?

“Of course! You have free will, don’t you? It’s more of a question if you want to.”

Of course I fucking don’t! I care about him!

“I saw. You daydream about him an uncomfortable amount.”

He’s the main person I’m around, give me a break!

“Have you ever considered not being horny?”

Until I’m castrated, there’ll be nothing of the sorts.

“You’re not even fertile! None of the clones are!”

You think I’m tryna get anyone pregnant at this sausage fest? Besides, that has not stopped me before.

“I refuse to believe that any of those scenes I saw play out in your head happened for real.”

You’d be surprised then.

“WHICH?!?”

Those are for me to treasure.

“...You’re pulling my leg.”

Believe what you want.

“Augh, never mind, TMI. Back onto the topic at hand.”

Oh, yeah, right. Kit… Dying…

Could you for real not give me a date?

“If it depends on the circumstances beforehand, then there’s no possible way to tell which one belongs to this timeline.”

And that means…?

“I don’t know how this Kits dies.”

Can I at least warn him?

“Well, there’s where the other side of the deal comes in. If you tell him, then the effect kicks in immediately.”

What effect? Death?

“Precisely.”

...Ah. Wait, so if I don’t tell him, he dies in a month but if I do, he dies immediately? Of what?

“Stroke, heart attack or brain aneurysm. Chosen at random. Oh, also sneak assassination. That’s also a valid option.”

...This feels set up.

“Mh?”

This feels like either you or whoever sent you here set this up so I’d suffer. You enjoy the pain of others, don’t you?

“I’m only the messen--”

Yeah, yeah, Messenger Bullshit. Then whoever decided this is probably a reality tv producer, who is jacking off to someone pushing in the soft part of a baby’s skull as we speak. You encourage such behaviour by working with them, ya know.

“...Do you think you sound smart?”

I know for a fact I’m not, so no. I’m pretty sure I’m on the money with this one though.

“If I wasn’t here then Kits’ death would come as a surprise to you though!”

I’d prefer that, actually! Now I have to deal with knowing that he… He… Won’t be here anymore soon.

“Well, knowing how overwhelmingly perverted you are, wouldn’t you wanna grab this opportunity?”

...What?

“Shoot your shot, ask him out. Not like you could do it with a corpse… …Right…?”

I may be horny, but I’m not messed up.

“Had to make sure.”

Ugh, you’re just making fun of me, aren’t you?

“Which instance are you referring to?”

Kit would never date me.

“And why exactly do you think that?”

He has standards?

“You’re a decently handsome fellow. You also get along with him just fine.”

That… That’s not a determinant of shit like that. There’s way better out there for him.

“He won’t meet em then. Only a month to live, remember?”

I… It’s not worth it.

“What isn’t?”

I know he’ll say no, there’s no point in trying.

“How do you know for sure until you actually ask?”

Cause it’s obvious! He’s actually got a brain in his noggin and he knows me way too well! He’d be fucking disgusted, man! We’re just friends and that’s that.

“Do you not want to then?”

...Why do you assume I do? How do you know that those aren’t just blissful fantasies like the rest of them?

“He’s the only one that you dream of in a non-perverted way. I see no other person in this graphic landscape that you want to hold hands with. (Also, I am closing my eyes again now, Jebus Christoff.)”

...Ffffuck.

“Well, did hit the nail on the head?”

Y-You’re stupid and gay!

“I’m rubber, you’re glue.”

That doesn’t affect me, I’m already openly gay and stupid!

“I guess we’re both such then.”

Dammit.

“So, you gonna give him a month to remember or not?”

…Eh?

“Come on, how much romance could a member of the A.A.H.W. really experience throughout their lifetime? If you’d make this month worth his and your own time, perhaps it would be less painful to see him go? At least he died happy?”

THAT WOULD BE EXTRA PAINFUL FOR ME, THOUGH!

“Oop, Zanaz selfish, you heard it here first, folks.”

That’s not what I meant. I’d already be upset over losing my best friend, imagine how fucking devastating losing a sweetheart would be.

“…I dunno, still sounds selfish to me. Does his happiness not mean anything to you?”

Who says he’d be happy with me?

“I know you want to make him happy, at least. You dream about his smile.”

STOP FUCKING LOOKING THOUGH MY THOUGHTS!!

“I’m not looking anymore, I just memorized the ones I already saw. (I wish I couldn’t.)”

I- You- Fucking-- UggHHH! It’s not worth it!

“What exactly do you imagine will happen if you tell him how you feel, huh? World combusts?”

I already told you, he already knows way too much about me! He’d be fucking grossed out and we’ll… We’ll stop being friends.

He’d quicken his pace whenever we’d have to pass each other in one of the halls. He’d desperately keep his glance away from me. He’d… I’d stop being the main person he talks and comes to company for a-and I can’t fucking have that, man!

I-I wouldn’t be able to handle it. He means too much to me.

“…I had no idea you were this insecure.”

FUCK OFF! It’s a bitter reality that I’ve come to accept!

“You haven’t even given it a shot!”

You don’t need to get crushed by a piano to know you’d die on impact!

“Those two things don’t correlate even remotely!”

It’s a metaphor!

“I know that, I’m saying that Kits has a thing for you too!”

…He what?

“He has major league crush on you! The things you say when play-flirting excite him! He’s gotten off to the thought of you touching him up! The works! (Why did I word it like that?)”

Whuh-- How the fuck do you know this??

“While you were monologuing, I visited his subconscious and confirmed it for myself.”

You can do that??

“You don’t even know my name.”

...Fair nuff. So, wait, he’s actually gotten off thinking about me?

“I don’t even need to open my eyes to already know you’re imagining it. Short answer, yes. He’s into you, Zanaz.”

Augh, I dunno what to do with this info. It’s kinda... Overwhelming in a way.

Actually, wait, how do I know you haven’t been lying to me this whole time?

“I’m an incorporeal voice in your head that’s having a back and forth with you in a white void.”

Yeah, and?

“…I’m supernatural?”

Yeah, and?

“Come on! I just know, okay?!”

Sounds fake, not gonna lie.

“The part where I knew that Kits was gonna die was convincing, but the moment I mention that he might have a thing for you, you question the validity of my claims thus far??”

One sounds way more far-fetched than the other, you gotta admit.

“NO IT DOESN’T?!?!”

For you maybe! I’ve known him since I’ve been out the cloning tube! We became agents together! I think I’d know what kinda stuff is off the table for him, buddy.

“Well, not only are you wrong, you’re in denial.”

I am not!

“Then try it! Just attempt asking him out! In the very least, you’ll remain friends after. I promise you. Cross my heart and all that jazz.”

…

…You’re absolutely positive? You are also the person that told me he’d die in a month’s time.

“A hundred percent positive. I have never been more sure of anything in my life.”

You have a life?

“Unfortunately. So, you’ll do it?”

Why’re you so adamant about me fucking Kits?

“Affgdgfdgfg, it’s not about you fucking him, it’s you making his last living month worthwhile!”

Okay, so, why do you want me to do that?

“…Do you not??”

I mean, I guess that sounds worth my time. But you didn’t answer my question.

“Sorry for assuming that you want the person you’re madly in love with to be happy, I guess??”

Apology accepted. Now, how do I get outta here?

“Ugh, just wake up.”

Whu--

And I’m sitting up in my own mat, back at the facility. The clock shows that it’s early morning.

What the fuck do I make of what I just saw? Or heard, for that matter? It clearly wasn’t a normal dream, I never remember those. Plus the topic tends to blur together usually.

I gotta tell-- Wait, I can’t do that, fuck.

…

It’s way to early for shit like this, man!!

Augh…

[littlespoonevan]

Hi! I love your fics so much, they're so cute!!! I was wondering if you could write about Mickey's reaction to Ian's Monica tattoo and/or his black hair in prison? Hope you have a great day!

first of all, thank you :’)) and askdjlhf god i am so wEAK for anything involving their prison reunion!!! this kind of devolved from hair talk to relationship talk in the middle lmao but hopefully you still like it!!

(also just a head’s up: i’m not gonna be accepting anymore prompts at the moment bc i really want to clear out the ones i already have so i can start on my long fic. i hope people don’t mind!!!)

*

Ian had really believed he’d never see Mickey again.Ian had really believed prison would be the end of him. Ian had really believeda lot of things until his cell door had opened and Mickey Milkovich was suddenlystanding in front of him, here to save him from himself one last time.

After the initial reunion – the delicate kiss thathad turned hurried until Mickey reluctantly reminded him the window to theircell wasn’t exactly one-sided – they stay on Mickey’s bunk. To be honest, thisposition is no less compromising than what they’d been doing ten minutes agobut Ian isn’t quite prepared to have Mickey out of his reach just yet. Mickey’shalf-sitting, half-laying down as he sticks to his original spot leaningagainst the pillow while Ian sits slouched with his back against the wall andhis right leg pressed up against Mickey’s.

“The fuck is with all this anyway?” Mickey asks whenthere’s a momentary lull in their conversation, hand reaching up to scrubthrough Ian’s hair.

“Oh.” Ian blushes and ducks his head to stare down athis hands. “Guess I didn’t wanna draw attention to myself.”

Mickey raises his eyebrows and his mouth curves up ina smile and it’s such a familiar look Ian feels like fucking crying. He neverthought he’d see Mickey look like that again.

“You know your eyebrows don’t really match your hair,”Mickey comments then, snickering when Ian hits his leg half-heartedly.

“You got a better idea?” Ian grumbles, leaning hishead back against the wall to meet Mickey’s gaze.

“Yeah, don’t get fuckin’ arrested for blowing up avan.”

Ian winces, feeling shame burn through him, but thenMickey’s reaching out and taking his hand. He runs his thumb over the skin ofIan’s knuckles and Ian watches Mickey watch their hands for a minute.

“What the fuck happened, Ian?” Mickey asks softly,finally raising his gaze to meet Ian’s.

Ian shrugs uncomfortably and squeezes Mickey’s handtight in his own to ground himself. “Stopped taking my meds,” he admits quietly.“No one really noticed until it was too late, I guess.”

“What d’you mean no one noticed?” Mickey asks and helooks pissed but not at Ian, he doesn’t think.

Ian shrugs again. “I guess I seemed okay for the mostpart and people had other shit going on. The whole Gay Jesus thing, it gotoutta control pretty quickly.”

“What about that guy you were seeing?” Mickey askssuddenly and Ian hates the reminder of Trevor, hates that Mickey even had toknow about him.

“He’d never seen me manic before,” Ian says. “Guesshe didn’t know what signs to look for.”

“I didn’tknow what signs to look for,” Mickey snaps – again, he doesn’t direct it at Ianbut more the situation at large. “Fuck, you weren’t even diagnosed back then,there was no fuckin’ medication for you to be taking and I knew something waswrong. I knew-“

Mickey cuts himself off abruptly, huffing out afrustrated breath and Ian squeezes his hand again, tugging on it just a bit toget Mickey to look at him.

“You would’ve known this time too,” Ian murmurs. “Iknow you would’ve. It’s okay, it’s my fault you weren’t there. Not yours.”

Mickey doesn’t argue with him or disagree, just sitsup a little straighter and moves himself closer into Ian’s space. “You feelokay now?”

Ian nods earnestly. “I’m stable,” he promises. “Haven’tmissed a dose since I sorted my shit out.”

“Good,” Mickey replies, low and half-mumbled.

“And for what it’s worth,” Ian continues, leaningforward to bump his forehead against Mickey’s before returning to his originalspot. “Me and Trevor are done. I tried to make myself want him again after-after you. But it didn’t really work. My heart wasn’t in it.”

Mickey looks at him, eyes darting all over Ian’s facelike he’s trying to read him for answers. Ian lets him look, drinks in thesight of Mickey before him and reminds himself this is real.

“We should talk about it,” Mickey says finally, eyesflitting to their hands and back up again. “Just- we can wait a couple ofhours.”

Ian nods and smiles because he gets it. They have amountain of shit to work through, probably as far back as the second timeMickey got out of juvie, if they’re being honest, and he knows being stuck in thesame room for the foreseeable future is the perfect excuse to finally do it.But…they just got each other back. And it seems like Mickey wants to bask inthe reunion just as much as he does.

“How’d you find out about me anyway?” Ian asks becausehe hasn’t yet and while Mickey’s always seemed to have a sixth sense aboutknowing when Ian’s in trouble and always seems to show up at exactly the righttime, this one feels a little beyond the realm of possibility.

Mickey shrugs and this time he’s the one who looksembarrassed. “Some kid in Mexico had a shirt with your face on it. I asked himabout it.”

Ian can’t believe that. Can’t believe Mickey wouldrisk everything – the new life he’d built, his freedom, his safety – just to come back here and bewith Ian. But he supposes he should. Back in the early days all Ian had wantedwas some kind of proof that Mickey loved him, that he wanted to stay. Now- thisis quite possibly the biggest love declaration he could’ve made.

“We can talk about that shit later too,” Mickey saysthen, brushing Ian’s thoughts away with a wave of his hand. “What we reallyneed to discuss now,” he continues, hand snaking up the back of Ian’s neckuntil his fingers are tangled in Ian’s hair, “is what the fuck we’re gonna doabout your hair.”

Ian barks out a laugh. “You miss the red?”

Mickey gives him an exasperated look that’s verypointedly not a denial. “You might have to go back to your buzzcut days, army.”

Ian grins at the old nickname and doesn’t protestwhen Mickey uses the hand on the back of his head to guide him closer.

“But then you can’t put your hands in my hair,” Ianpoints out teasingly. Tugging on Ian’s hair has always been one of Mickey’sweaknesses and judging by the look on his face, it still is.

Mickey seems to weigh his options for a moment beforehis nods decisively. “I can deal for a few weeks.”

Ian’s grin is so wide he thinks his face is going tosplit in two as he shakes his head. “You’re so full of shit.”

Mickey scoffs. “So I gotta type, sue me.” He’ssmirking at Ian now, fingers massaging the back of Ian’s scalp and it’s just-it’s the combination of the teasing and the comfort. It’s everything Ian needsand exactly what makes him lean in to kiss Mickey again, current environment bedamned.

Mickey kisses him back anyway, soft and sweet, andlets his forehead linger against Ian’s for a moment when they break apart.

They’re both quiet for a beat but then Mickey leansback. “Seriously though, first thing in the morning. We’re getting you a razor.”

Ian laughs and thinks the next two years of his lifesuddenly sound a lot more bearable.

*

[argylemikewheeler]

so this is a very specific prompt but could you write something where Mike thinks he’s homophobic like two years after will comes out as gay and goes to steve for advice on how to get over it and steve’s confused because mike’s never had a problem with being will or robin being gay and realizes that mike’s actually just jealous of will talking to other guys and helps mike realize he has feelings for will. Thank you so much!

part 2

By the fall of 1989, Steve’s BMW had been in three fender benders, had one headlight replacement, two flat tires in a week of each other, and a clutch replacement. No, Steve hadn’t suddenly lost sight in both eyes and all depth perception; he had been teaching the Party to drive. Max was really good at tailgating (and not stopping fast enough), El always got nervous and would slam on the breaks or pop a bulb with her powers, Dustin drove straight over railroad tracks way too fast, and Mike rode the clutch far too often. It was a strain on his wallet, but they were all really thankful. Mike more than anyone– which explained why he was wasting his Saturday afternoon sitting with Steve while he clumsily changed his oil.

They were in Steve’s driveway, Mike sitting by the front tires with his arms resting on his knees while Steve was under the car on his mechanic’s creeper. Besides just keeping him company, Mike also had the motive of wanting him alone to ask Steve something– maybe something that was safer to not ask while behind the wheel of a car, and possibly just under it.

“Hey Steve?” Mike poked his shin. Steve kicked his foot gently: he was listening. “Are you homophobic?”

Something clanged. “Am I what?”

“You know, homophobic?” Mike repeated, tucking his hair behind his ear. “A ‘phobe, if you will.”

“No.” Steve said, his voice muffled. “I mean, I try not to be bone-headed, but my mistakes are not because I’m an asshole.”

“Oh. Okay.” Mike nodded. He picked as his fingernail, waiting until he heard Steve put his tool down. “Am I homophobic?”

Slowly, Steve wheeled himself out from under the car. “Okay, where are you getting this word, Wheeler? Homophobic?”

“You know… around.” He muttered.

“Okay, well, Einstein. Did you bother to understand the definition?” Steve wiped his hands on his coveralls and sat up fully in front of Mike.

“It’s a compound word, Idiot.” Mike said, crossing his arms. “I know what it means. That’s why I’m asking.”

“I don’t think you do. Because you don’t show fear at the life and happiness of your friends– I mean, you’re not angry at them, are you?”

Mike bit his lip and bounced his head slowly side to side, the word slipping out. “Maybe…”

“About what? Because just because you fight with your gay friends doesn’t mean you fight with them because they’re gay. All my squabbles with Robin are because we were together constantly and sometimes, I’m a fucking idiot and can’t make change fast enough when there is a line out the door and she’s got a perfect SAT math score. Not because she’s gay.” Steve spoke quickly, sighing when he finished. His hands slapped against his legs, clearing the air for a moment and allowing Mike to meet Steve’s eyes. “That’s not homophobia, Mike.”

“Well, I don’t know!” Mike cried, pushing his legs down. “I got like, really really mad at Will the other week and I– I’m still probably really mad about it now. And I feel bad because…. he’s my best friend and I’m mad.”

Steve blinked at him. “That was the most explosively vague sentence I’ve ever heard. Give me more what happened?”

Mike twisted his finger, the knuckle popping quietly. “Will was over and we were just like, talking about our classes and stuff– he’s in this weird art class thing they’re offering kids who can like, draw and shit.”

“Which is Will.”

“Yeah, I know!” Mike snapped. No one was more proud of Will getting into the program than Mike. Absolutely no one. Mike stood by the main office, waiting for Will to come out of his meeting, and lifted him clean off the floor when Will walked out with a smile and a nod. Mike had never cried from smiling so hard before. He didn’t know it was possible before then. Before Will. “The class isn’t the problem… It’s who’s in it.”

Steve hummed and sighed. “Are they homophobic?”

“No! Still me!” Mike grumbled.

“Wheeler–”

“I am! He started talking about this one kid in his class, Charlie or some shit I don’t know– and I don’t care– but god every time he mentions this kid I get so angry. Like, I know Will’s gay and he’s gonna talk about boys but… when he does I just get so mad.”

Steve looked at Mike for a while, blinking and parting his lips only to abandon his sentence repeatedly. Oh fuck. That can’t be good.

“See? I am homophobic! I’m such a bad person! Fuck!” Mike scrambled to get to his feet, only to collapse back as Steve yanked his arm.

“That’s… That’s not what that is.” He said with a quiet laugh, shaking his head. It wasn’t funny, but Mike was missing the joke. “You aren’t hateful, Wheeler. You’re, uh, you’re jealous.”

“What.” Mike said flatly. “I don’t even know this Charlie kid.”

Steve stared at Mike, his jaw tight and lips rolling inward. He blinked and lifted his eyebrows. “Mike.”

“I’m not jealous! You know what? You really are an idiot.“ Mike rolled his eyes. He wasn’t sure what was worse: being terrible to his best friend or having Steve lie to him and tell him he was just jealous.

“I didn’t say you were jealous of Will.” Steve said slowly. “But perhaps, of Charlie… for spending so much time with Will.”

“I mean, yeah.” Mike scoffed. “That kid doesn’t know Will. He’s not funny or like, as cool as, you know, his best friend.” Mike motioned toward himself and rolled his eyes again. “Why would he be spending time with Will? He’s not… like, I don’t know, worthy.”

Steve clicked his tongue and grabbed Mike’s arm carefully– tenderly, like his words were about to become violent. Mike leaned back, eyebrows furrowing. “Mike.”

“Y-Yeah?”

“I don’t feel that way about Robin.”

“Okay…”

“I don’t feel that way about any of my friends. In fact, I only feel that way about girls that I like when they hang out with other men. And obviously like them better than me. That’s called jealousy.” He lifted his eyebrows, highlighting the word.

“I don’t get it. So you’ve got really bad game. What’s your point.”

“You aren’t getting mad because Will’s talking about another guy. You’re mad because you think Will might like this guy.”

“And that’s homophobia!”

“No, that’s called having a crush, Mike.” Steve was slow with his words, almost handing them over to Mike with cupped hands. In the silence, he held onto them until Mike was ready to take them.

Mike swallowed and it felt like he had inhaled the draining oil from Steve’s car. “That doesn’t make sense. I’m not gay.”

“Okay, valid response… but that doesn’t mean you can’t like other guys. You can be a whole bunch of things and still like guys, Mike. It’s possible.” Steve shrugged. “Sometimes the kid in your business 101 class is cute, and guy who always comes in and rents history documentaries that you stupidly love hearing the summary of the following week. Sometimes it happens.”

“No. No! I– I don’t… That’s scary. W-What I can just start liking guys? That’s… No. I’m not… Since when?” Mike sputtered, shaking his head.

He’d never considered the possibility. He’d always been so relieved to like girls; he’d never have to be what he’d heard so frequently was so terrible from his father. Mike was so fucking relieved when he’d realized that he had the ability to like and love women. There wasn’t a thought that the relief came from a place of worrying he’d ever actually like a boy. That wasn’t right. Mike wasn’t wrong.

“It’s not like a virus, Wheeler. C’mon. It’s just life. Crushes aren’t plagues.” Steve kept his hand on Mike’s arm. There wasn’t fear or even repulsion. Mike wasn’t sure what was happening. Everything felt like a lie.

“I don’t like Will.”

“You just said this boy wasn’t worthy of hanging out with Will. No one says that about casual friends.”

“Well he’s not! He doesn’t even care about Will… At least not… The way I do.” Mike admitted, setting his jaw as he heard himself say it. Steve sat quietly, waving him on.

“What makes you say that?”

“I don’t know! I just… everything he does is… so cool and everyone just thinks it’s normal art or normal whatever, but it’s not, okay? They’re masterpieces and Will’s a fucking genius. At like, ev-er-y-thing.”

“Oh dear God, you poor fucking soul. You are so in love. I’m gonna hurl.” Steve laughed, leaning forward and wrapping his arms around Mike. He wasn’t sure why, but Mike felt like the hug was an admittance of pity, or failure. He was being coddled.

“I’m not in love. I-I’m not.” Mike argued, shaking his head. He was hoping to protect himself with a just a quiet denial. “That’s wrong.”

“It’s okay, Mike.” Steve held the back of Mike’s head, rocking them back and forth. For a moment, Mike was sure Steve thought he was actually holding baby, but accepted it the moment he felt himself start to cry. “You’re okay.”

“Why? Why do I care this much about Will? It’s stupid but he’s just… No, I don’t like him. There’s no way.” Mike pushed Steve away, wiping his eyes with a harsh swipe of his thumbs.

“Mike, this isn’t a bad thing. Crushes are supposed to make you feel good– what’s why we have them. We’ve found someone that makes us feel so good and so happy we just can’t stop thinking about them and how freaking cute and cool they are. That’s how it starts.”

“Well, I don’t…” Mike couldn’t even say he didn’t even feel that way about Will. He knew he did. He knew the prospect of seeing Will was the highlight of every single day. “I don’t want to feel this way.”

“Okay. That’s different. That’s okay too, but… Hm. Okay, so maybe homophobic is the right word.”

“What?” Mike blinked, sniffling.

“Maybe not towards Will though. Maybe think about how maybe you are– I don’t know– having that fear with yourself.” Steve mumbled, waving his hand around to stir up the words.

“… That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.” Mike said harshly. That wasn’t possible. Mike wasn’t scared, he just didn’t want to upset his father. Or his mother. Or his friends. Or his neighbors. Or his teachers. Or anyone at school… It was different. Mike wasn’t scared. He just wanted to not bother anyone. That’s all he had been hoping for his whole life; to just be quiet enough to disappear.

Steve shrugged and waved the thought away. “All I’m saying is let yourself feel happy.” Steve said. “And definitely get rid of this Charlie kid. He sounds like a snotty art kid.”

“He is!” Mike cried. “All he talks about is Monet.”

“The water lily dude? Oh, gross. Boring.”

“Hey. That’s Will’s favorite artist right now.” Mike said pointedly, crossing his arms. Mike had stared at that woman and her umbrella in that field for enough hours with Will to at least get it a little bit.

“Oh, so it’s okay when Will talks about him but not this other kid.” Steve chuckled. “That sounds… biased.”

“Um, no. Will’s like, super knowledgeable about him. And tells me all the names of his strokes and shit. This kid just like. Knows he painted that one bridge painting.”

“Oh, so now you’re an expert.”

“Well, yeah. Because I listen to Will! He’s always showing me stuff.” Mike explained flippantly.

Steve positioned himself back on the creeper, lying down and grabbing the bumper of his car. “Does Will always talk to you about paintings and art?”

“Well, yeah. All the time.” Mike nodded.

Steve pursed his lips and nodded to himself. “Okay, so, my advice? Don’t worry about Charlie. Like, at all. He’s a red herring– absolutely a moot point. Complete bozo, nobody, nothing.” He rolled himself under the car as if that was enough.

“Wait! Why?” Mike grabbed Steve’s leg and pulled him out again. “What does that mean?”

“Will definitely likes you too.” He smiled. “He’s testing to see if you like him too.”

“He is? H-He does?” Mike gasped, tensing. There was that relief again, but this time it felt so different. It wasn’t a protective sinking that stuck Mike to the ground beneath him; it was a lifting, glowing sigh that made Mike feel like he was weightless. He was afraid to speak, to shatter the moment in which everything didn’t seem so terrible.

“Yeah. Totally. I may not know anything, but seriously. Showing you the thing he’s the most interested in? Man, Byers is crazy about you. Definitely.” Steve wiggled the creeper back under the car. “You should ask him to go to the movies.”

“We do that every week.”

“Offer to pay this time.” Steve said, moving his foot to nudge Mike’s leg. “Like a date.”

Mike had never heard of the simplistic joy and closeness he felt when he was at the movies with Will ever being linked to people like that– like Mike, evidently. The way he felt, brightly shining in his own pleasant happiness in the darkness of the theater, Will’s elbow nudging his own, was not something Mike ever thought gay people felt. He’d been taught differently. Granted, he saw Will being happy and brilliant every day of their lives, but Mike never thought it was eternal. There was never going to be a day that love was going to run out or joy was going to run dry.

A crush was just a beginning. It was part relief, part terror. Mike had never liked another boy before, never thought he would. And now he had to reconcile that he had been slowly falling for one boy his entire life. The crush wasn’t new; it had been constant and was familiar by then. It was a future Mike had come to expect and look forward to. Maybe it was time he started it.

ao3

[fandom-star]

Transgender Pride Month Challenge

So, I'm an admin on a trans meme/info account on Instagram, and one of the guys on there sent this to our chat, so I thought I'd do it on here.

1. My name is Elliott or Ell. I am asexual and bi/panromantic (both fit me so I use both) and I am a transmasculine non-binary person.

2. The only proper coming out I've had was with my mum. I don't feel like putting it here, it's somewhere on my blog. Most of the time I've either given my friends my Tumblr knowing they'd figure it out or I've just dropped a thousand hints in group chats! I dunno, I just prefer coming out like that with people I know will be okay with it.

3. I've probably always had an idea, at least since I was about 8, but after the age of 10 I kind of went into a fair bit of denial and threw myself into being a fangirl. I eventually realised I should look into it in May 2018, when I first identified as a demigirl.

4. I am not on hormones. It's probably something I'll look into doing maybe in my mid twenties for half a year, maybe a year, to get the extent of the effects that I want, but I don't think I'd stay on for much more than a year.

5. My support system is mostly my friends. 

6. My chest, my deadname (mostly seeing it written), sometimes my voice, sometimes my height.

7. When I decided to change my name (July 2018 when I was exploring the possibility of being a trans guy) the one thing I knew was that I wanted to still be able to feasibly use the nickname Ell. So I basically looked around online for names with that sound in them. I ended up with about five or six and wrote down the pros and cons of them all. The only con on the name Elliott was that there was a guy in my form class with the same name (Elliot), whereas the others usually had about two. So I chose Elliott.

8. I haven't had much of a transition journey. I had my hair cut short in July 2018. Had my first irl coming out in September 2018 as non-binary to a friend who figured it out. July 2019 I changed my name. July and August 2019 I came out to my mum (if you followed me then you'll know what that story is and why it was over two months). November 2019 I went to a comic con with my friends which was my first time being openly non-binary in public, and I also bought my first pronoun badge there. Later in the month, my mum bought me a pronoun badge. December 2019 my best friend bought me my first binder. And some point before September 2020 I will have come out on my personal Instagram.

9. I don't think I have any regrets. I feel like I shouldn't have any, because everything I have done has brought me here, and I'm happy where I am. Maybe I regret backing out of coming out on Instagram last month, because I was gonna try coming out on 1st of July, but with everything happening I felt like it was a really inappropriate time.

10. My binder is a blue half tank from GC2B. His name is Robbie. I can't be bothered to take a photo!

11. My definite transition goals are to legally change my name and gender (but only when the UK legally recognises non-binary people, until then imma confuse people by having a masculine legal name but being legally recognised as female!) and have a chest reduction. As I said earlier, I'm definitely considering testosterone, but the two effects I definitely want from it are facial hair and a deeper voice, both of which I could probably achieve to an extent without the involvement of T. (I basically have the ability to grow a beard naturally, but I never have because mum's worried about me being bullied or whatever if it gets too much.)

14. I am single and have never been in a relationship. I know, I know, the shock and the horror of a 16 year old having never been in a relationship, but I'm permanently anxious about everything, and I don't develop crushes very often and the last two I've had have been on friends, one of which doesn't live near me and I've never met in person, so.... Yeah, and that means I can't really say whether people knowing I'm trans or not has had any difference in them being attracted to me.

15. Obviously, I'm not completely out right now, but when I do come out I will be quite open about it. There's no real way to be stealth as a non-binary person, so that's not really a possibility. Even on the trans masc side of things, I don't think I'd ever be able to be stealth nor do I really want to be. For one, my transition plans don't exactly allow for it particularly, but also, while being referred to as male is highly preferable to being referred to as female, if I can have control over it, I won't be seen as strictly either.

16. I think I stand with the majority when I say that the only concern I can think of around transitioning is transphobia. Especially with my classmates, because while some of them are amazing (hello the whole five of you here) there's a lot of casual transphobia and explicit mockery of non-binary people at my school. It's one of the reasons I really hope our pride group continues when I start back at Sixth Form in September, because I feel like we could do a lot to combat that.

17. I mean, I guess I basically went over fear of rejection in 16, but I guess I could extend on that by explaining why I don't really mention my dad in regards to all this. Basically, I haven't come out to him about anything regarding my queer identity. This isn't necessarily because of him being explicitly homophobic or transphobic (he's never said anything homophobic ever and seemingly supports my going to pride events), it's mostly because our relationship is somewhat distant. We don't have an awful lot to do with each other outside of sharing interests. And he tends to be averse to anything "new". So, yes, I fear that if I came out to my father about being non-binary he would react by either ignoring it or me or not believing me.

20. September 2016 vs Today, June 2020

21. Something I'm most proud of relating to being trans... ooh! Probably the time I went out for lunch with my mum and my granny (who is basically deaf) and being called "sir" and "young man" by two different waiters while mum went to the toilet. The reason that's such an amazing moment for me is because I was feeling extremely dysphoric about how long my hair was getting, so I wasn't even making any attempt to look at all masculine. 

22. Things that make me euphoric are binding, people saying my name, listening to recordings of my voice (a lot of the time it sounds a lot more androgynous than I expect) and seeing photos of myself in cosplay.

23. Music. Very generic! Um... I have a Spotify playlist of songs to listen to when I feel dysphoric. Speaking of Spotify playlists, most of them are based on ships or characters. My username is seltudoor. I have a rather large record collection and an old record player/radio/cassette player that used to be my dad's that I think is from the 80s. Everything else you know! Classic rock, Sinatra and all that.

24. Freddie Mercury is the love of my life (HA!) and my role model. I have put into words why somewhere on my music blog, but I can't exactly remember. It goes a bit deeper than that he wasn't afraid to be true to himself. I also have an entire post about my trans role model Lou Sullivan that I made last June. In short, he was the first trans man to medically transition as an openly gay man who was also a badass, though I mainly say that because towards the end of his life (he died from AIDS complications) he wrote that, although the medical system didn't recognise him as a gay man, it seemed as though he was going to die like one.

25. Weirdest fact about me. Hmm... not sure I have any weird facts. My bookshelf organisation has two aspects to it that I don't think I've seen anyone else have. I group them by genre and order them by publication date from earliest to latest.

26. Things that cross my mind a lot. The fact that I should really be doing some writing instead of reading another fanfiction or watching another YouTube video that spoils most of Merlin for me. I don't know really.

27. You can win my heart by having a presence that makes me feel like I can happy stim in front of you whilst we watch something together, by accepting the fact that you will probably come second to my fandoms/obsessions a lot of the time, by allowing me to be touchy and clingy at random moments for often a long period of time, by not judging that I can't do "normal everyday things" and helping me with them and by being weird. 

28. My mum, @maestrowave​, @in3ffable-husbands​, @fandom-0bsession​ and everyone else in my active group chats on Instagram, @britpop-bowie​, @esperata​ and some other people.

29. I don't know what I'm most scared of. 

30. I think I'm mostly happy. I have great friends, my education is probably headed in a direction that will allow me to progress into an industry I've wanted to work in since I was 9 and in two years' time I will hopefully be at uni and able to experiment with my transition without worrying about what my parents think.

[kingofthewilderwest]

I totally get what you're saying about fandom and canon (or at least I think I do) and that what's really important is a love of the material, and I agree to that respect, but personally, reading the words "canon doesn't matter" kind of rustles my jimmies, because for some people (like me) and in some spaces, canon is extremely important. 1/?

People will find importance in canon for whatever reasons that are individual to them, and I think it’s important to consider that. There are also spaces where discussion of canon IS important, like when it comes to issues of representation. I think you’ve read my post about the phrase “there is no heterosexual explanation for this” and my rebuttal of “not every emotionally intimate relationship between two characters of the same gender is inherently gay” in response to people claiming that 2/

certain same gender pairings are “obviously” “gay for each other”, when there’s nothing in the canon that points to anything beyond an emotionally intimate relationship. One of the people who commented on it made a really good point that while it’s fine to ship something regardless of canon, it’s a different thing entirely to claim that something IS canon when there’s no evidence for it, or evidence that’s up to too much interpretation, because claiming that such a relationship IS canon 3/?

when in fact it’s barely hinted at and interpretable at best, it means that it’s much more difficult to call for better representation, when someone who is against representation can go “see? look at all the people who say [interpretable pairing] is canon. they don’t need anything more explicit!” 4/?

I think that there ARE spaces in fandom where that’s an important discussion to have. So I disagree with you that canon doesn’t matter, because there are places for it, and for individual people, it’s very important. But I agree entirely that there shouldn’t be arguments in fandom about what is or is not canon that basically involves gatekeeping “canon” or being mean to others because of what they think is or is not canon. 5/?

In a perfect world, people would be willing to agree to disagree about what is or is not canon and accept that other people have different opinions of how far canon goes. Unfortunately, that’s not the case, so I definitely agree that it’s bad for people to assert that their view of canon is the “correct” view, and - if I may be so audacious as to assume intent - is really the point you’re trying to make. 6/? (I think?)

I think that not caring about canon has its place in certain fandom contexts, but not all of them. It’s kind of like it’s a different analytical framework, one that’s useful sometimes but not other times. 7/? 

And certainly, I think canon has importance in places that exist at the boundaries of fandom, like when canon is considered in historical studies or in literature reviews. Though that’s also getting into discussions of where fandom ends and other disciplines begin, so it’s probably a moot point, and probably depends on someone’s perspective and intent. 9/? (or 8?)

I’m gonna stop myself here from going into literary theory/criticism/whatever about when and where canon matters, but I think I’ve made my point that while I agree with the sentiment of what you’re saying, I disagree with the statement that “canon doesn’t matter” in fandom. Because I think it does, but just not in every context. 10/10 (or whatever number)

From this.

As always, you’ve got a wealth of thoughtful and well-worded discussion here. You’re a brilliant human being, and one of the reasons I love talking to you is because of your deep analytical perspectives. I think another reason I jive with you as a friend is because we tend to hold similar perspectives. It’s fun, because we both entertain creative or emotional discussions extrapolated from source materials, and we both acknowledge what canon objectively contains. 

I apologize: I thought I’d been more clear with the context of what I was criticizing regarding fandom’s relationship with canon. I think I also banked on followers knowing I’m a logically centered individual who cares deeply about facts and not just heart. I suppose not, and I’m sorry if I were misleading. My mistake! How you disagree with my phrase “canon doesn’t matter” is not what I was intending to suggest and it’s not the values I have regarding canon. That one sentence wasn’t meant to stand on its own that much. We do in truth consider canon’s importance the same way!

My critique intended to be about the discussion of “What are the canon materials?” rather than “What information is in the canon?” As I read it, your response goes through both, and where you say you disagreed is mostly when you looked at the latter (but I was intentionally honing in only on the former). Maybe it’s a good idea for us to separate these concepts rather than conflate it into a large debate of “what is canon?” from too broad an angle.

My critique was about how fans police others’ engagement for things like Watsonian interpretations, headcanons, speculative meta, and fanfiction writing. If people want to analyze Edward Elric’s personality only from FMAB, or if they want to include minor tie-ins (ex: Prince of the Dawn, Sacred Star of Milos, omake, etc.), either perspective provides interesting analytical angles. They’re both valid ways of handling the character’s personality.

Especially since I experience the “What is canon materials?” conversation with the HTTYD fandom, I tend to see the debate centered on continuity and OOC/IC interactions. Also, at times, how “big” a material is - like video games being “less authoritative” than the films. These conversations are more about how people do or don’t emotionally reject RTTE for their personal headcanon/discussion space. These are people who acknowledge the show’s implications rather than deny RTTE’s existence or the implications of the content. It’s exactly because people engage and examine its contents, that some people might like to talk about Hiccup through RTTE lenses, and others will never entertain such speculations. 

(You know this stuff, I’m sure, but I’m spelling it all out to be clear, and for other readers to follow.)

What I’m saying is that in angles like these, what is or is not canon doesn’t matter, because we have the right to recreationally interact with Hiccup through some of the officially licensed materials, or through all of them. We have the right to completely ignore ALL canon and imagine him as something else, too!

That discussion that I focused on is about what people accept as “the most official materials” versus “unofficial materials.” Your focus for the majority of your message looks to me like a nuanced angle on something else - the other “spaces,” “places,” “frameworks” you bring up. That’s about whether or not people acknowledge what’s inside those materials. It’s about whether or not people are able to acknowledge that things happen in official materials, or are able to correctly discern objective versus subjective information within that media. That’s not something I was covering in that conversation because it wasn’t contextually relevant, but yes, you’re absolutely right that these distinctions are important!

The viral post you mentioned is one I’ll never forget from you, because I agree with it 100%. It’s the same frustration I hold, so it was so enthralling to see it put to words. It’s poor thinking for fans to subjectively interpret canon materials and try to push it as The One Truth… when it is not objectively what the source material contains. Feel free to tie things together how you want for funsies, that doesn’t make it what the source ACTUALLY says.

This is why I mentioned, at the start of my discussion, that I get uncomfortable when people dismiss officially licensed materials as “fanfiction” or “not real.” These exist whether we like them to or not. The reason it’s important to distinguish fandom from canon is because canon is what feeds us, and is what provides authority for what the franchise is. Whether or not you like the materials or engage with them for things like headcanoning, they’re there, and you have to be able to acknowledge: these materials exist. The companies gave them to us.

Because a product exists, you can’t say “bye” to the consequences of its existence. You have to know it exists, and what it does/doesn’t contain. It’s poor thinking for individuals to extrapolate materials from canon that were objectively not intended by the creators, but fans still try to push it as “the true story.” What the source material objectively contains cannot be replaced by emotional wants or denials. That’s where things like representation or romance come into play, as you mentioned: it’s (usually) fine to relate to and interpret the characters as you want, so long as you can separate that from the objective reality of the source material. You have to be able to acknowledge what the source material contains.

I want to make it very clear:

There’s an enormous difference between emotionally deciding which canonical materials you engage with for your creative frameworking…

…versus denying the existence of what officially licensed products contain, or insisting that your subjective interpretation is objectively true. 

For the former: canon doesn’t matter. That’s my discussion of the previous post. Policing fans by telling them one source is canon and one isn’t… when it’s all licensed materials… is forcing people to engage with canon a certain way. We all have the right to engage with all licensed materials to the depth we want. If I want to accept RTTE and analyze Hiccup from RTTE to GOTNF to THW… let me enjoy that! Don’t tell me to quit analyzing RTTE!Hiccup because it doesn’t feel like he’s IC to you (and ergo, outside of your own mental “canon”). It’s fiiiiine! I can write analyses about RTTE!Hiccup!

For something like the “what is canon materials?” discussion you mentioned as far as academic documentation of a body of works, that is a REALLY interesting discussion, but yeah, as you pointed out, a little outside the boundaries of this current conversation. But I’d love to talk to you sometime about it!!!

For the latter: you better be able to know what the licensed materials actually contain. You shouldn’t deny something exists. Whether or not you call it “canon,” you should be able to acknowledge it’s an official product and not something a fan put on AO3. You should be able to objectively understand what’s in officially released products. If the books have problematic elements, if a show lacks explicit queer representation, if there’s a racial stereotype that’s handled poorly, that’s a truth that you can’t imagine your way out of! You can reinterpret characters for fun in your fandom discussions, but you can’t deny the reality of what the creators produced. Ignoring the truth of these issues, or making your interpretations “reality” you force on others… is dangerous illogical thought that has severe consequences for how you interact with the world and its issues.

As you say, there’s value in all these discussions. We’ve known each other a long time, so I know you know I’m a logic-oriented individual, someone who isn’t going to say “everything is okay!” and let subjectivity fly over objective information in source materials. When I say “canon doesn’t matter,” it’s not about subjectively letting our feelings erase what is objectively presented on screen / on paper. When I say “canon doesn’t matter,” it’s about whether or not someone wants to talk about tie-ins, or only select portions of officially released products. But when I say “canon doesn’t matter,” it is also with the assumption people are smart enough to distinguish subjective interpretation from objective observation, the angle which you brought up with the nuanced discussion we’ve seen. Thanks for speaking with such finesse again on why we can’t lets fans’ desires get in the way of what they call “truth.”

I love to both discuss things from a creative speculative angle and let my imagination wander or reinterpret characters… or discuss materials from a Doylist acknowledgement of how something gets sociologically presented. Hell, I hold such a huge value to official products and canon materials that I engage with almost no fandom content (fanfictions, comics, etc.). So yeah! I also believe that canon is very, very important, and is something to be talked about! 

I think it’s important to understand the impacts that official materials have, and I get frustrated when people pretend something DreamWorks or Disney officially sanctioned is “fanfiction.” I think it’s important for fans to discuss back and forth about what they think objectively happened when there’s a lack of clarity. For the romance thing, again, as you said, it’s a good discussion to have of “what is WITHIN canon?” when looking at whether or not it’s obviously queer, or if you’re reading into it. 

I also love to create synthesized interpretations for what characters are like and I get frustrated when people try to police me on what I can/can’t include into my canon analyses. 

I just have no patience for laypersons who debate “what is canon MATERIAL?” when looking at whether or not a video game should be considered “okay” to synthesize with a movie, and gatekeeping in the sense of what fans can include in our creative engagements. Whether or not X is “as canon” as Y doesn’t matter at the end of the day if you disagree with [insert username here]. It’s your recreation. It’s still a franchise product. Know it exists, know the objective materials, and move on. Do with it as you will and let your friends do with it as they will. 

[lala-the-rebel]

For the prompt thing: Logince with either “I’m not gonna let you get yourself killed!” or “I’m in love…shit” - Roman-is-a-gay 💜👑

(This took a long ass time, I apologize lmao. Congratulate yourself for being my first prompt I've posted in a while and the first sanders sides writing thing I've posted since I finished the theatre fic)

Prompt Tags: @roman-is-a-gay @fandersunite @anxious-fander-talian-bean @smileydog101

Word count: 2,003 (I took this and ran ya yeet)

Warning(s): character injury (nothing graphic trust me), mention of weapons (does that count? I dunno; either way if there's something I should mention tell me and I'll edit it)

Logan didn't know how he let Roman convince him to go on his stupid quest. He didn't even know why Roman wanted him to join him. But he agreed to it anyway. He had a soft spot for the guy.

Not that he would let anyone know that, of course.

There was a certain reason he had that soft spot for Roman. And, yes, of course he denied it the first chance he got. Logan, developing feelings for someone? Highly unlikely.

Or so he thought.

The more he obsessed with it, the more he realized it was true. And denying it wasn't doing him any good, so he accepted his fate. Besides, he figured there was no way Roman would reciprocate his feelings. And if his theory was proven true at any point in time, then he would make himself forget he ever thought what he did.

Inconveniently, Roman would prove it wrong by interacting with him as much as possible. It seemed platonic. Whether he had any romantic intentions, Logan wasn't sure. He was enough of a tease to make it hard to determine.

Logan kept on thinking about things as he walked behind Roman. Why was he invited along? Did Roman have different plans that what he said he did? Was he acting sincere around him or faking it?

Logan was so deep in thought that Roman practically had to yell at him to get his attention. The other jumped as a result.

“Logan!”

“What?”

“Didn't you hear me? Where do we need to go from here?”

“Oh,” he muttered. The issue wasn't as bad as Roman made it out to be. “No, I didn't hear you.”

Roman sighed loudly. “What good is having a navigator if he doesn't even navigate?! Give me the map.”

Logan reluctantly handed it over. “Where are you even planning to go, and why did you drag me along?”

Roman opened the map up directly in front of his face, blocking Logan from his view. He still answered him despite not being able to see him. “There is a castle deep in these woods that I plan on seeking out.”

“Don't you have enough of those here in your little realm?”

Roman peeked over the top of the map, raising an irritated eyebrow at the other side. “No, I don't,” he sarcastically replied. “And I brought you because you're the least talkative out of everyone and you do what I ask you to do without question. Usually no distraction, too, but that seems to not be an option today.”

Logan paused for a second. “What do you mean by that?”

Roman folded the map back up and handed it back to Logan. “I hope I don't have to do that again. Now, follow me.” He began walking forward, Logan in tow.

“You didn't answer my question.”

Roman turned his head back at him. “I was about to.” He looked at the other’s face, raising an eyebrow. “I watch you any time we talk, and I've noticed that you're kinda out of it. Is something up?”

“N-no. I'm fine. Perfectly fine.”

“If you say so.” Roman turned away and continued walking normally.

Logan licked his lips. He was super nervous now for some reason. Probably because he pretty much just got called out and denied it.

He shook his head. Why was he in denial so much recently? He was one for being up front and honest. Being direct, not avoiding subjects. Not lying. But he had done so much of that this whole time. He didn't like it, but his alternative wasn't much better. He wasn't entirely prepared for that yet.

But he was definitely prepared to get Roman's motive for going to this castle out of him.

“So, why are you going to this castle again?” he asked, almost running into a branch that Roman recklessly smacked away from himself.

The prince turned around, brandishing his sword. “Because there is a terrible beast in this castle I must slay!” He turned back around before Logan could answer.

His usual reaction would be to roll his eyes and make a sarcastic remark, but this time he didn't for some reason. His actual reaction was, “You're gonna get yourself killed!”

“I've done it multiple times before,” Roman returned with a shrug. He then swung his sword to clear out a huge mass of branches. He stepped over the resulting pile of sticks, Logan following him, into a clearing. Just ahead was the castle.

“We're nearly there,” Roman grinned confidently. “I can smell the dragon's fear. They must know we're close.” He walked out into the clearing briskly, Logan barely keeping up with him.

“If the dragon knew you were coming, then wouldn't you think it would be prepared to retaliate against you and your forces, or rather just your force?”

“Perhaps, but I mustn't let that deter me from my quest!” He stopped walking as something was blocking his path. Logan once again nearly knocked into him.

“Will you stop with your sudden...stops?! I've nearly rammed into you more than once this entire trek, and I don't plan on doing it anymore!” he squawked.

“Well, there's no need to plan anything else, my dear friend,” Roman assured him. “We're there as soon as we cross this bridge.” He gestured towards it.

The castle could have been a hellhole inside for all they knew, because the outside proved otherwise; it looked innocent, no visible dangers to be seen nearby. The walls seemed a bit faded, but who knew how long it had stood there. Cracks ran along the bricks of the bridge, which was over what looked like an endless chasm. They walked across as quickly as they could, hoping nothing would happen as they did so. They did end up crossing safely, but it was the least of their worries. What would be inside the castle terrified them even more.

Roman took a tentative step into the darkness before them, Logan following him as usual. A few steps led them to a huge room dimly lit by torches on the wall. From what they could see, nothing was there. Roman still looked around, in case something were to pop up out of the dark. He was met by a pair of glowing yellow eyes. He raised his sword up.

“Who dares to disturb my slumber?” the dragon roared.

“It is I, the magnificent Prince Roman! You have preyed on my land for too long, beast, and I'm here to put an end to it! You've met your maker, so prepare to lose!”

“What makes you think you have it in you to defeat me? Who's to say I am the one pillaging your land in the first place, mortal?”

“Many have spotted you flying around after many tragedies, and so they have tracked your directions. They lead to here.”

“Fair enough. But, you still did not answer my first question, my dear. Do you honestly think you can defeat me?”

“What makes you think I can't?”

The dragon let out a maniacal laugh. “Oh, Roman, you fool. You say this every time, yet I nearly crush you in my grasp. And, for some reason, you keep crawling back for more.” The voice now had a more feminine tone. The yellow eyes also disappeared. “I should have taught you a lesson a long time ago. You do not learn. Maybe it's time you did.”

“What are you saying?” he questioned.

“I'm saying, Roman, that I'm trying to get rid of you for once and for all.”

Roman gasped. He knew now. This was no ordinary dragon. In fact, it wasn't even really a dragon. How he didn't recognize her voice before now was a mystery to him.

Before he could speak his revelation, an arrow was fired at him. It made a home in his right shoulder. His eyes went wide while Logan screeched his name. With one glance at the arrow poking out of him, he let out a squeal and then fainted, falling backwards onto the floor. Logan quickly rushed to his side, aiding him in sitting up once he was conscious. Roman wasn't completely coherent, though, so he waited to say something until he was. As he did, the dragon witch flew down from her high perch above them, landing on the floor somewhat gently, still laughing. Logan glared at her until Roman spoke.

And when he did, he uttered one simple sentence. “The dragon witch.”

“The one and only, baby,” she snarled. She held her hands out, palms up, displaying herself to them. She flashed an evil, toothy grin.

“You don't frighten me. Not one bit.” He kept his voice from shaking as much as he could. He was more in pain than anything, and she probably knew that, but he wasn't gonna let it stop him. He had to fight.

“Don't lie, my dear, it only makes the matter worse,” she crooned, her voice still in the demonic tone. “Be honest with me. I know you want to get rid of me just as much as I want to be rid of you. But, you can't do that so easily.”

“I can and I will!” he shouted. “Even if it kills me!”

“No! I'm not gonna let you get yourself killed!” Logan interrupted. He got Roman's attention if he didnt have it already.

“I'll...I'll be fine, dude. Don't worry.”

Logan frantically shook his head. “You are far from it. I'll fight in your name. In your honor.”

“Logan, you have no experience. She'll destroy you more than she will me!”

“Then that's a risk I'm going to have to take,” he insisted. Desperation was clear in his eyes; Roman saw it. Logan cared a lot more than he thought. He kinda admired that. But would he let him take that risk, even it he didn't want him to?

He had to.

He unbuckled the belt that held the sheath of his sword and handed it over to Logan the best he could with his free arm. Logan took it quickly. He looked at Roman pitifully, wishing this didn't happen to him.

“I...I wish I could have done...more to, you know, prevent this.”

Roman shook his head. “You didn't need to. All you need to do to for me is this. Just fight.”

Logan looked down at the ground, then back at him. And, then he did something he never thought he would do: he hugged Roman.

“Of course.”

He grabbed the sword out of its sheath, leaving it with Roman, and took a few steps closer to the dragon witch. He held it up with confidence, poised and ready to fight. He had no issue in holding it; it was perfectly balanced in weight. The witch did the same with her sword, smirking as she did so.

Whatever conversation they were having, Roman blocked it out. He stared at Logan, sword in hand, and realized he was really captivated by the sight. He was even more so when they started fighting. The way he moved seemed effortless, like he had been in battle before, when in reality he never had and probably never would have had it not been for Roman. But, knowing Logan, he probably studied the moves so much he could do them from memory. He looked just as skilled as Roman himself, if not more. He moved with such elegance, such speed, such fluidity. It left Roman impressed. On top of looking like he knew what he was doing, Logan somehow physically looked good doing it. Roman didn't know how or why, but he just knew it.

Maybe it was because of the fact that it was him Logan was fighting for. It was Roman he was protecting. He admired that, a lot. Although, this time, he seemed to have admired it a lot more than he cared to realize. He thought it over once, twice, three times, until he finally got it.

“I'm in love...shit.”

[divagonzo]

Unpopular Opinion: many things been said against Romione shippers/Fic demonizing Lavender to make Hermione look better But I haven't seen as much complaining about the demonizing of Dean Thomas in Hinny fics set in HBP and afterwards. I lost count how many times I have recently (and by popular Hinny authors!) read fics where Dean was demanding,pushing and trying to pressure poor Ginny into having sex/was bad at it and then being a petty and bitter towards Harry. it reeks of racism. 1/2

2/2 I mean I feel it's partly JKR fault because she went out of her way to make both Michael Corner & Dean Thomas ''horrible boyfriends' (which in Dean case is BS the only thing in canon showing friction is Dean 'pushing' Ginny through the portrait and that can be just as much about Ginny trying to be a 'strong independent woman who needs no man') but if Lavender can get sympathy in fic so should Dean, who we've seen more in the books and who came across as good decent guy.

PS, also getting tired of the biphobia i've seen in some corner of the Seamus & Pavender fandom about how Seamus-Dean-Lavender-Parvati were really gay/lesbian all along and their m/f relationship was fake. Because of apparently bisexuals didn't exist until now... [eyeroll]

I need my demarcation line.

‘ello Nonnie. Fancy a cuppa?

I guess I’ve not been reading much lately over on the other side of my Canon ship (aka Harry & Ginny) to have come across any Dean discourse much anything that could be construed as demonization. (Then again, I have been busy so...)

Damn this got long quickly. Under a cutline just out of necessity.

If I am hearing you correctly, the fic writers are choosing to paint Dean in a negative light to emphasize why Ginny would want to break it off with him before getting with Harry. I must have my head in a hole because the only one I’ve read involving Dean in the last few months was the lovely one from @floreatcastellumposts and that was how Dean and Harry interacted in DH at Shell Cottage. (I admit I do have some appreciation for the subtle angst and how troubled Harry is and how few people he trusts in his life. Been there, done that, binned the t-shirt.)

I’ll also agree completely how HBP altered the characters considerably to make the plot work, including Dean, who up ‘til they was either a wallflower or a background character turn into a problematic male character (and also one of the few Men of Color in the entire series which I find more troubling but I digress.) because of the forcing the plot to have Ginny make him redundant before getting with Harry.

Fic writers can take those small nuggets of information and expand the ideas for such (even if I find it personally squicky AF to have a 16-year-old and Under 16 having those physical relations. *shudder* (Heck, I have problems writing any Linny Under 18 fic that involves anything more than hand holding - but then that’s my Ace showing there.) but to take it to such an extreme and petty expansion of idea is, well, not my cup of tea at all. (There’s plenty I will nope right out of and walk away without commenting if there is a tag I see that will make me shudder or get squicked.) But him being petty and sullen and bitter that he did (in those fics) have s* with Ginny and was bad at it?

I wish the trope of “immediate sex god” would die a thousand papercut deaths because most guys at 16-19 can barely control themselves, much less think of the other person to make the experience a memorable one. (And let’s expand that to 15-95 but I digress.) There’s a reason it’s called wham/bam/thank you ma’am. That’s about how long it takes at that age for a guy. (oops! Showing my age there.)

I personally have zero issues with Dean and Seamus as a ship even if I will never write it (I won’t write MLM having dated 2 in the closet and one stayed in because of safety reasons) but those who do can do.

I do find that The Author did make a bit of a mess of the characterizations in book six (and I won’t even get into how there is a discord of continuity of ethnic heritage involving Lavender Brown) including how Dean was made to look like he was being possessive when for all we know, he was being kind and Ginny was in a foul mood.

But let’s hit on that PostScript which to me is the enormous hippogriff in the room.

Admittedly, Biphobia and Bise/xual erasure is prevalent and it’s upsetting, even to me, the cranky Crusty Ace Dragon. Telling someone that they aren’t what they claim (either saying their straight, really are gay but in denial, or gonna cheat and would you just pick one and stick with it? absolute rubbish.

(I’m intentionally not touching on Pansexual but I can later if need be.)

I’ve heard of plenty who get told they are likely to cheat because they are bisexual. I’ve heard plenty who get told would you make up your mind? and the ever-present, “You can’t be bi because you’re in a het relationship” like that has any bearing on who you are as a person. Hubs and I are visually in a het relationship but we’re not since we’re both Ace Spectrum (aka not-straight - him being Grey and me being Demi) but no one dares tell him such. No one dares mention that to me, either. (Especially after my repeated diatribes on gatekeeping I experienced in the 90s while wandering the alphabet wastelands.)

Frankly, it’s disgusting. And let’s talk about those who want even more bloody gatekeeping, referring to gay men and lesbian women as “Are you a Gold Star XXX?” which is the most epic bullshit I’ve read this year (and that’s taking some serious liberties but I digress.) What kind of bullshit is this, a damn purity test? Not everyone realized coming out of the womb they were gay. Some came to it later. Some stayed in the closet for safety reasons. Some stayed in because it was a no big deal otherwise.

But to tie it all in.... to invalidate the experiences of Lavender and Seamus (and Dean, too) as calling it fake is rude at best, insulting at worst. Now it could be said as performative (which plenty who aren’t straight do go through ‘til they know for certain - or at least did back in the dark ages) but then there are so many under the LGBTQIA umbrella who have had performative relationships to either fit in, hide, or trying to get another to cure them before accepting they were, in fact, not straight. But then that’s the thing about dating in your teens and early 20s - learning who you are but also what interests you and what traits you would want in a long-term partner (if that is a goal) and also what traits are a hell naw breaker for you.

But to expect some kind of irrational purity from the outset and slandering those who had to find their own way down winding roads to where they are happy and content with who they are (with gender and expression and orientation and preferences) and to have all of those experiences invalidated because you’re not pure enough for someone hateful and vicious and unworthy of someone who has probably gone through hell and back just to find their identity of who they are.

The hypocrisy of it stinks worse than I do after a full day of hiking in 25* temps.

So in short, Seamus and Lavender were never fake. Performative, maybe, but not fake. Dean and Ginny dating? Never fake. Erasing any possibility that Seamus, Dean and/or Lavender are Bisexual? That stinks highly.

Quit fetishizing MLM and WLW single-sex relationship. 

[pixelpolaroid]

Let’s talk about Steven Universe

I’ve never done on of these blog review things before, but I really wanna talk about the most recent Steven bomb. I thought about doing it throughout the week, but this gives me more time to rewatch the episodes and get proper thoughts out. I’m deciding that I’ll go through each episode one by one and make some notes. Hope you enjoy and feel free to add your own thoughts. I’d love to get other opinions on this.

This is your last warning. SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT!!!!!

S05 E19 Now we’re only falling apart

After Steven tells Garnet and Amethyst, Pearl says that it was Pink diamond’s last order to not tell. She specifically said Pink, not Rose. I think that that’s very telling, it’s obvious from a lot of the last few episodes that Pink wasn’t a huge fan of being a diamond, probably because she wasn’t treated as one.

A small detail that I really like and I’m sure a lot of people have pointed out is that before Garnet unfuses, there’s a tear under her left eye; Sapphire's eye.

I like the fact that Sapphire says she never looked into Rose. Sapphire was clearly a very well respected gem, having 3 Ruby guards when visiting Earth. She probably would’ve been more suspicious on her own. But not after Rose was the first person to be okay with her as Garnet.

Pearl was given to Pink diamond. She wasn’t made for Pink, she was given. Interesting choice of words. That, along with her gem placement just makes me believe that our Pearl was specifically made for White, but then given to Pink.

Something that I don’t think anyone has pointed out yet, when Pink and Pearl go down to watch the Amethysts on the orb thing (whatever it’s called) the murals aren’t there yet. I wonder if they were made after Pink was shattered.

“We’re creating life from nothing,” So this shows that until she went down to explore Earth, Pink legit thought that she wasn’t hurting anything through her colonization.

I thought the Amethysts looked weird until I realized their wearing pink instead of blue, like from the last time we saw them.

Nice gemsona Pearl.

8XM! They were gonna wait for Amethyst! 

Pearl is obviously enthusiastic about the many resources for making gems, just like Peridot. SO Pearl wasn’t like Pink, she didn’t see the Earth the way Pink did, even after they explored. The only reason she joined the crystal gems was because she was following orders. AND THAT IS ALL!

Damn Pearl, is one thirsty gem. Immediately trying to fuse after finding out it’s possible. I would’ve loved to see the first Rainbow Quartz fusion, but I think it’s fitting that they didn’t. They probably weren’t expecting that to happen, mutually panicked and then started to unfuse.

Pearl so quick to saying that she needs to be replaced is interesting. After all the work from the revolution, she still thinks that. Maybe because it’s already happened before? 

Pearl talking about how Pink was selfish and probably wrong, and then that little detail where she’s about to stop herself. Very nice! It’s always the little details that you gotta appreciate.

Overall Episode Review:

This one does give a little more about Pink and why she did the things she did, but still never justifies her action completely. Even Pearl dissagrees with her, which says a lot. The biggest issue I have that came out of this episode. Lemme break it down:

Pink starts to complain to the other diamond that she doesn’t want to finish the colony, saying she wants to preserve live on Earth. Then Rose Quartz shows up out of no where telling Pink to stop the colony, to preserve life on Earth. Neither of them thought it a little too coincidental??? Really? Diamond, surprisingly not the sharpest gems on homeworld.

S05 E20 What’s your Problem

Okay first issue. Both Sapphire and Ruby left. Sapphire left crying saying how her relationship was a lie, irrational, and crying. Ruby took the time to write a note and said she needs time to think. Then they all freak out cause they think its the end of Garnet? Bitch if Sapphire can see the flawed logic in her action when she’s trying to be angry, Ruby will be back. I don’t need to know it’s a kid show to know that.

Why would she be cowboy? Love it

Garnet is Pearl’s OTP

You’re saying Ruby is pretty literal? Steven all gems are pretty literal! Besdies Amethyst, most gems don’t seem to understand sarcasm or when something is just a phrase.

Steven and Amethyst are both doing the very well known tool of “Worrying way more about the needs of others and ignoring their own,” I think a lot of people can probably relate to this, and I’m really glad Rebecca Sugar put this in.

Kiki is literally the cutest person ever. I want her as a best friend.

Amethyst and Steven are literally the best pairing. This is why their fusion works so well. They understand each other in ways that other gems and human can’t. I love Smokey Quartz because of this fact. Amethyst is slowly becoming my favorite character. 

Finally!! Someone said it! I’m so glad that they’re finally making it clear that no one is responsible for what Rose did. She was rash and selfish and Amethyst was like the quickest to accept that, but what she didn’t accept was they had to deal with her mess. 

I think I made my finally overall review in that last comment. Onto the next one!

S05 E21 The Question

So Greg is basically the love doctor at this point, and it’s very obvious. I love him so much. The fact that he’s so chill with Rose being Pink is amazing. He loved Rose, not Pink. 

Ruby is literally a college freshmen on their first day of being on their own. She wants to experience things for her own in order to figure out what she wants. It’s great seeing Greg be so supportive, I think he probably sees a lot of himself in her. He wanted to do his own thing and make music, so he did even though not everyone thought he should.

Ruby Rider is such a good song. It’s so fitting, but also just has good lyrics.

This episode shows the difference between being alone and feeling lonely really well.  Being alone means that you don’t have anyone around, while being lonely is that empty feeling when you don’t have anyone close. 

S05 E22 Made of Honor

This episode is probably my favorite in this Steven bomb. 

The fact that Steven is breaking gender roles by planning a wedding his entire life is the best thing next to a gay wedding in a children’s TV show. Love it!

I’m really glad that they brought Peri back in advance instead of having her show up at the wedding because then it feels like she’s been there longer. I still think it’s funny that all while they were talking about Pink and Garnet unfused and all that, she was just hiding out in the bathroom. 

Ok I saw a lot of things coming for this Steven bomb, but I was legit shocked when Steven went to bring back Bismuth! Which I love btw. She says, “I just tried to shatter you,’ Which, for her, yeah that just happened. But it’s been months for everyone else. 

Seeing Bismuth’s legit shock and confusion after seeing a friend corrupted is so genuine. She’s lost for words, completely frozen with fear and denial. By the time she does snap out of it, it’s because her life is endanger, but she’s crying. Full of regret and sadness.She can’t even watch as she fights and eventually puffs her, its really quite sad. I think a lot of us missed that in the excitement of seeing Bismuth again.

I’m fine. *sticks head in lava* *screams* OH MY GOD!! So relateble Bismuth.

Bismuth jokes about how absurd she must have sounded to Rose, but here’s something that I really wish would’ve happened. Imagine what Bismuth said to Steven, that she would’ve taken the fight to homeworld, shattering the Diamonds. It would be nice to think that Pink would’ve not only been worried about herself, but the other diamonds as well. However, considering that she didn’t consider how they, and her armies would’ve felt after she herself was shattered, it’s probably very unlikely that she’d be worried about them. It is taking all of my willpower not to rant about Pink Diamond but I’ll save that for another day.

Garnet is Bismuth’s OTP

Ok another little detail I love. Ruby lights the grill then is like “look bae! I did a thing!” Ruby is literally about to get married to this gem but is still trying to impress her with how hot she is. That’s so precious!

Steven, buddy. I love you, but do you really not see the problem Bismuth has with just showing up like this? Even I thought it was a horrible idea to bring her at first. However I do appreciate this scene because it further shows that he is JUST A KID!!!

Small detail, when Steven calls the gems around, why is Peri about to pour soda on the grill? Honey, what do you think that will do?

I honestly would’ve loved to see Peri and Bismuth’s first interaction. I think it would’ve been pretty funny.

S05 E23 The Reunion

Firstly the Song: Steven’s opening song is the definition of ignore your problems until they go away. Actually though I think the song is really beautiful.  I love Pearl in her Mr. Greg suit, especially with the hat. Peridot’s always been the one to worry, doing calculations and determining the problems and possible bad outcomes, so the fact that we first see her in this episode thinking about what Lapis said is extremely fitting. Her little spring dress makes her look so cute too.

5750 years and 8 months. That is a long hecking time together. It’s also a long time since the revolution, which I always thought was only like 2000 years ago.

“By the power invested in me and by the state of Delmarva,” nice one Sugar. Nice

I really love Garnet’ wedding outfit. It’s super cool looking.

Ok Ok Ok, shit gets real. The battle with Blue Diamond is just super cool. I’m really glad that it was it’s own entire episode because the diamonds are a big deal. Seeing them actually holding pretty strongly against everyone is pretty impressive and really shows that they’re the leaders for a reason. 

So Garnet steps up to the plate, and while she doesn’t actually do much more than distract Blue, this scene really shows so much. First off, I’m just now noticing that Garnet didn’t unfuse when Alexandrite did, which is pretty awesome. Her power walk to Blue is super cool and so is the music. I know everyone has already praised Garnet for how strong her relationship is, but this just shows it so well. All the others are struggling to stand, but Garnet knows that she has to do this right now so Lapis can (literally) get the drop of her. Awesome moments.

Lapis drops the  barn on Blue like how I drop ansty stories on my followers ;)

So Lapis and Peridot didn’t hug. Which is fitting for their characters and their relationship. they’re not the huggy, touchy kind of friends, they’re the watch TV until we see the sun and make stupid art together friends. Them hugging would’ve been awkward and forced.

 Ok back to Blue Diamond. It’s impressive that they knocked her down, but Lapis literlly chucked them all right at her and she just stood there and took it like a champ! I’m still not over how freaking powerful these gems are! God I really wish we could’ve seen her fight Alexandrite. 

Lapis having trouble against Yellow, yeah sorry. Water/Flying is 4x weak to Electric. All she had to do was rub her feet on the carpet then poke you.

Amethyst’s main thought just being “don’t die, don’t die, don’t die,” such a mood.

Okay I know it’s pretty bad that Peridot and Lapis got poofed but I really hope that at least Peri reforms with a star. I need a new form change, that’ll be awesome! 

Ok hearing their thoughts followed by their auras getting stronger and pushing steven back shows a lot about them psychologically. Yellow blames herself for Pink’s shattering, she always has. Yes she’s upset, but her way of projecting that lose is harsher, more sturdy, like lightning. While Blue just misses her and thinks about how she could still see her again. Her aura is much more smooth, effecting people emotionally, just like how she is more emotional. Yellow emotes with action more than emotions. Their responses match their attack styles which I find so cool.

Overall Episode Review:

What I love about this episode is that you think it’s gonna be about Ruby and Sapphire getting a back together. But they aren’t having a reunion, they’re having a wedding. The reunion is Homeworld with Earth; the Diamond authority with the Crystal gems; Blue and Yellow with Pink. The fact that they had to feel Pink before actually seeing her feels similar to how we’ve seen gems in the past. Gems are very literally, but the most extreme actions happen when they’re extremely emotional. Pink became Rose because the Diamonds wouldn’t listen to her, and she got angry. Garnet stayed Garnet because they were in live. Bismuth attacked Rose because she wouldn’t listen, and later attacked Steven because she felt betrayed. Gems have very strong feelings.

Hopes and predictions for the next Steven bomb:

Well as a lot of people want, I really hope we finally get to see White Diamond, like she seems like an important character but we haven’t even heard mention of her. We’ve seen her hand and that’s it. Also I want the off colors to show up, the new Lars and the twins back on Earth would be sweet!

As far as plot wise, I think that Yellow and Blue are going to want Steven to come back to Homeworld with them. I know they’re not going to be okay with the crystal gems just staying there, so I’m super interested to see what becomes of that.

Well that took a lot longer than I thought. If you made it this far, good job. And comment “Topaz” so I know you did (It’s my birth stone). A little Easter egg for the go getters. I’d like to do more of these types of things. Maybe about more specific characters or something. I don’t know. This was a lot of fun and like I said if you have any other thoughts or something you’d like to add/ discus 

I’ll end it here since this has been going on for a while

-Pixel

[cherry-valentine]

Winter 2018 Anime Season

What I’m watching:

Hakata Tonkatsu Ramens is easily my favorite new show of the season. I can’t think of anything else that even comes close. The show has very attractive character designs, cool music (that ending theme gives me Cowboy Bebop vibes), and an overall stylish, frenetic feel that puts me in mind of a less crazy Durarara!!. The show touches on some surprisingly dark topics but so far has never been exploitative and keeps a mostly lighthearted tone. The characters are a lot of fun, especially in the way they all connect and interact. It should also be noted that there is very obvious sexual tension between the two male leads, yet it doesn’t feel at all like fanservice or yaoi bait. Instead it feels like a natural part of their growing friendship. The whole cast is interesting. This has to be the nicest group of assassins, information brokers, and torturers I’ve ever seen. This is hands down the show I look forward to the most every week. At the top of my watch list.

Dagashi Kashi Season Two was a bit of a surprise. I didn’t realize season two was coming out now until it popped up on Crunchyroll. I was pretty excited too, because I really enjoyed season one and adored the heroine, Hotaru. I even have a figure of her. I was drawn to Hotaru because she was so entertaining. She’s beautiful, yes (easily one of the top five most beautiful anime ladies, in my opinion), but she’s funny, persistent, and big hearted. Okay, gushing about Hotaru aside, season two is a bit different. For one, the episodes are now half the length of regular anime episodes. This works okay, since season one typically had two self-contained stories per episode. Another difference is that the animation quality seems to have dropped a little. It’s not a huge deal, but it’s noticeable. The third thing is that the Hotaru fanservice has become a lot more overt, which is particularly disappointing for me as a fan of her character. Season one had some fanservice, yes (Hotaru has fairly large breasts), but it was more subtle and a lot funnier. Season two, inspired by the heaps and heaps of pervy Hotaru merchandise that’s come out since season one, has decided to focus a lot more attention on how bouncy her boobs can be. It’s annoying, but it doesn’t make the show unwatchable, so it still has a solid spot on my watch list.

Sanrio Boys is one of two cute, feel-good shows this season (I’ll get to the other one later). It’s basically a “cute boys doing cute things” show with BL undertones that is apparently sponsored by Sanrio, as each boy has a favorite Sanrio character that they’re associated with. The show could have gotten by on being cute and fluffy and I probably would have watched it that way just because I like cute things and have a fondness for Sanrio myself. Thankfully, the show puts in the extra effort to have likable, relatable characters with interesting back stories explaining their connections to their favorite Sanrio characters. A couple of these stories literally made me cry. The friendship between the five main characters is very sweet and comforting. I also have to wonder if some of the stuff in this show is meant to be one big metaphor for being a gay youth. The main character lives in shame and denial about his love of Sanrio because “boys shouldn’t like stuff like that”. He fears being rejected by his classmates, because he was made fun of and bullied in the past over his interests. He even tries to help another character avoid being “outed” as a Sanrio fan before realizing the other boy is open and unashamed about his hobbies. A big part of the series is about him growing to accept himself and the things he likes and gradually opening up to others about it. The theme of the show seems to be, “don’t try to deny who you are, be true to yourself even if that means some people will judge you and reject you”. That’s a very positive message cloaked in Sanrio product placement.

Darling in the Frankxx is this season’s garbage guilty pleasure show. It has attractive art, nice animation, excellent music (that ending theme is so. freaking, good.), an interesting setting, and some truly awesome mecha battle scenes. Which would all come together to make one of the top shows of the season, if the show didn’t have some seriously ridiculous and laughable fanservice that very badly distracts from all the cool stuff. Let me just describe the cockpit situation in these mechs. Each mech must be piloted by a pair of one boy and one girl (typical of shows like this, homosexuality doesn’t seem to exist in this world). The boy sits in the seat. The girl is positioned in front of him, facing forward, on her knees, with her ass in the air, practically shoved in the boy’s face. But it gets better! Weird metal handlebar-looking things are attached to the girl’s skin-tight outfit and spring up on either side of her ass for the boy to hold onto. All together, it literally creates the image of the boy riding the girl like a freaking motorcycle. Without even getting into how ridiculously impractical this setup is (wouldn’t the girl get extremely sore and uncomfortable while trying to stay on her knees on the hard metal cockpit floor during longer battles? Wouldn’t a hot girl’s barely-clothed ass in a teenage boy’s face be extremely distracting when he’s trying to fight monsters?), just the image alone is completely absurd. I could be extremely generous here and say the writers/animators were trying to create some sort of metaphor for how these kids are being exploited by the adults and how their budding sexuality relates to the mysterious process of becoming adults (the show strongly hints that they don’t simply grow naturally into adults). But... it looks like the boys are riding the girls like motorcycles, so nah, I’m not gonna be that generous. The show tries and fails to come across as a serious, thoughtful sci-fi story, which is a shame because it might have had more success in that area if not for the stupidity I’ve outlined above. For now, I’m still watching because it does actually have some good qualities that I enjoy. But it’s pretty much at the bottom of the list.

Killing Bites is another show with fanservice, but it does fanservice right. The chicks are badass (and none of them have the bodies of eleven year old girls, thank God) and, so far, all of them are totally okay with their skimpy clothes and actually seem to feel empowered by them. These ladies enjoy being sexy, and use it to their advantage. There was a problematic scene in episode five but it did reach a satisfying conclusion. The show is action-packed, with fun battles between (generally attractive) people who can transform into animal-human hybrids. The show has plenty of humor as well. It’s nothing too deep or tightly plotted, but it’s good brainless fun.

Dame X Prince Anime Caravan is a super cute and fun otome series, one of the most entertaining ones I’ve seen in a few years. This is primarily because the heroine is refreshingly practical and proactive. She’s not a simple audience-insert who gets passed around between the guys. Instead she’s a spunky, no-nonsense rural princess who is well aware of how absurd her situation is. The guys are such over-the-top caricatures that it’s hard to root for any of them to win her heart. What results is a rare otome series in which you’ll be much more interested in the heroine than any of her suitors. That’s not to say the guys are boring. They’re actually pretty fun characters, and their interactions with the princess are hilarious. The art is very pretty and the music is cute, making this a very watchable show.

School Babysitters is the other sweet, feel-good series I mentioned above. How you feel about this show will depend entirely on how you feel about children (or at least children in anime). The bulk of the series is about an orphaned teenage boy and his little brother, and the school where the older brother is allowed to attend for free if he works after school in the on-campus daycare room to help babysit the teachers’ children. It’s absolutely adorable and heartwarming and is designed to make you say, “Awww!” as often as possible. The show can be really funny at times, and can get surprisingly deep as well. One short scene was absolutely devastating to watch if you’ve ever lost a loved one (and probably even if you haven’t). It was just a quick, simple scene and yet it instantly had me crying my eyes out. Despite this, the general tone of the show is lighthearted and positive. A couple of the kids can get a little annoying (just like real kids...) but never to the point that you’ll want to turn it off. High on my watch list.

Touken Ranbu: Hanamaru Season Two is more enjoyable for me personally than season one. When writing about the first season, I mentioned that I wished the show had focused more on the sword battles and the action than on the cute slice of life stuff. Well, last year’s Katsugeki/Touken Ranbu must have quenched my thirst, because the sweet, funny antics of the sword boys in Hanamaru seem much more entertaining to me now. The art is of course very nice, as per usual. The backgrounds and outfits are still gorgeous. There’s still a healthy dose of poignant melancholy mixed in with the fluff (mostly dealing with the sword boys’ lingering loyalties to their former masters and their inability to change those masters’ fates despite being able to travel back in time). My favorite is Kiyomitsu, who paints his nails every day in an attempt to be cute, which would sound funny and a bit superficial if you didn’t know he was doing this because of his deep-seated fear of being rejected and abandoned by his new master. Despite these sad little moments, the show is by and large a sweet, comforting experience.

[itylien]

Oh actually this reminded me - I watched LOTR Fellowship of the Ring recently and about... 20-25 minutes in I was struck... Well not struck but like... Confronted with and have tiredly accepted the fact that LOTR fandom has been in denial as to what it’s main ship is for decades now.

It’s a common thing - usually happens in big fandoms where people see what they want instead of what’s there - but in this case particularly visible due to “main ship” - so Frodo/Sam - not being a ship at all. As in there was flat nothing there. As a character in the movie - with the classist undertones of Hobbits all but removed - Sam makes very little sense at all.

But... I mean... This was not a pleasant realization at all since I watched the movie as a kid but... Um... The way the movie is build... Frodo/Bilbo is the thing. If... One is to look for gay in this movie - gay subtext, gay overtones, any sort of relatable gay content - this is what they’re gonna find. Like it or not. I certainly don’t but like... Yeah. The gay love story of this fandom is in the old gay Bilbo raising his boytoy from a pip - probably fucking him all the while let’s be real - then abandoning him and leaving him a very serious issue - that already destroyed Bilbo himself - to deal with. If anything at all it is a super extended aids metaphor. And I write this as a person who hates those. I ain’t some kind of gay issues aficionado. I just have eyes and basic training in reading text presented to me.

This realization also sort of in hindsight makes it kind of less baffling why I latched onto Grima/Theodred like it makes perfect sense - my brain was channeling the subtext it has seen into something more fucked-up than just... like... Boy-toy husbandry I guess. I like seeing fucked-up things as what they are and raising kids for the purpose of fucking them is fucked-up.