#it's probably been the camp motto since it opened | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cjsinkythoughts · 3 years

Text

Right From Left

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 3085

Warnings: !FATWS SPOILERS!, Cursing, Zemo being a punk, Bucky getting a little scary, some feelings, Sam being his fantastic, amazing, caring for everyone self

A/N: Here it is! At long last! I’ve been waiting for this episode and it was…holy fuck. I barely have words. And I can’t start or else I’ll be ranting for pages. Anyways, I know this Part is a little on the shorter side - not by much, but it still is - and it doesn’t even cover half the episode, but I’ve had a long day and I’m tired, so I’m going to sleep. I wanted to stop before Walker entered the picture too, because then I’m just gonna get more riled up and I’m working later. I’ll probably have another part out today, and then I’ll finish it tomorrow. Unless I can finish it today. I’ll try, but no promises.

Feel free to rant to me about the episode or the show, too, guys! My friends and I have been going back and forth about it for the past few hours. I’d love to hear your thoughts! I think that’s all for now.

As always, this isn’t beta’d so please excuse any mistakes! Thank you for reading, be kind to yourself and others, enjoy this part and stay tuned!

FATWS Masterlist

cjsinkythoughts Masterlist

!SPOILERS BELOW CUT!

You were avoiding him.

When you first got to Latvia, he had pulled you aside, eyes wide and pleading. “Doll, listen-”

“I really don’t think right now is the time to have the discussion we’re about to have.” Shaking your head, you avoided his gaze, your stomach twisting into knots. It was too much for you to handle; you couldn’t focus on the mission at hand and try to unravel the emotions that were making your gut flip like a gymnast. There were too many thoughts in your head, and you needed a clear mind.

“But-”

“Once this is all done, and our lives aren’t in danger. Once we’re back home, then we can talk, okay? Just…please. Not here. Not now.”

And he dropped it.

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to talk about it. You just couldn’t. You had always been a ‘leave your baggage at the door’ type of person. Don’t mix work with personal. Not like you had much “personal” anyways when you first decided that was how it should be. And then your coworkers became family and your motto got a lot harder to follow. But you still followed it. And you would continue to follow it.

But that made you start avoiding him. Whether you meant to or not, everyone noticed, but no one said anything. Sam shot you a look when you didn’t offer to go with Bucky when he had to check something out. Zemo raised an eyebrow when he came back and, instead of immediately questioning him, you sat still on the couch, eyes glancing up briefly, before going back to playing with the strings of your hoodie.

You were paying attention to their conversation, especially when Karli Morgenthau was brought up, you just didn’t join in. Not even when Zemo mentioned the Avengers, eyeing you to see your reaction.

Honestly, you were tired, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Your shoulder hurt, your brain couldn’t process what the guys were talking about, and your heart couldn’t take any more hits.

It was something you’d been thinking about…you just thought it’d come after this mission.

“She will not stop. She will escalate until you kill her…or she kills you.”

“Maybe you’re wrong Zemo. The Serum never corrupted Steve.”

For the first time since he first walked in, your eyes met Bucky’s. “Touche.” Zemo pointed at Bucky with a pastry around his finger. “But there has never been another Steve Rogers, has there?”

But you couldn’t wait until after this mission. Not when he was so connected to it. “I think I’m gonna go home.” You blurted out before Zemo and Bucky could argue further, Bucky slumping down onto the opposite side of the couch.

The moment the words left your lips, Sam and Bucky shot up, staring at you in disbelief.

“Wait, hold up. What? Now? We’re so close-”

“Why? Is it your arm? Is it hurting? You should’ve told us-”

“I’m just tired.” You cut in, shaking your head. “That’s all. I didn’t expect this to be drawn out this long when you called, Sammy.”

Bucky’s hand twitched as he hesitatingly scooted closer to you. “Doll, if this is because what happened on the jet-”

“It’s not, Buck.” You tried to give him a convincing smile, but you knew by the look in his eyes that he didn’t buy it for one second. You reached over to squeeze his hand, and when you pulled back, he held on tighter, a sigh escaping his lips as he stared down at your linked hands.

“Okay…if you wanna go home, we can get you home. Just…” His head turned back to you, a pleading pout on his features. “Just…stay. Another day. Please. You can keep avoiding me, I won’t even say another word to you if you don’t want. But stay. Just for one more day.”

Chewing on your cheek, you finally nodded slightly. “Okay. One more day.”

His eyes lit up, before his face fell again when you took your hand back and curled into the corner of the couch. “Let’s talk shop, boys.”

“Okay. So, from my understanding, Donya is like a pillar of the community, right?” Sam easily changed the topic back to the situation at hand, giving you a reassuring wink when you smiled at him gratefully. “So when I was a kid, my Tee Tee passed away.”

Bucky screwed his face up in confusion, straightening his head from where he had it leaned back. “Your - your Tee Tee?”

Sam gave him a look. “Yeah. My-my Tee Tee, yeah.”

Bucky looked at him weirdly. “Who is your Tee Tee?”

The exchange made you giggle a little bit, shaking your head. “Bucky’s a city boy from the 40’s, remember, Sammy?”

“Fine.” Sam rolled his eyes. “When I was a kid my aunt passed away.”

Bucky gave a slight huff, making you chuckle again. You stopped when he smiled over at you, but your grin didn’t leave your face. Even when they were the ones to give you a headache, your fellas were damn entertaining, that’s for sure.

With a sort-of plan in place - the gathering for Donya being no more than a theory, but the only idea you really had - you stretched out from your spot on the couch, twisting to crack your back. “Zemo.” The man stopped his rummaging through the cabinets and looked over his shoulder at you, an eyebrow raised. “Go put some clothes on. We’ve got work to do.”

He gave you an unimpressed look, opening his mouth, but Sam beat him to the punch. “Do as the lady says, man. You’re already walking on a tightrope after you shot Nagel!” Zemo waved dismissively at Sam’s exclamation, heading into a separate room to change out of his robe. “That guy is gonna drive me up the wall.”

“Don’t let him get to that pretty head of yours, Sammy.” You hummed, standing up, wincing slightly as you stretched your sore shoulder over your head.

You could tell Bucky wanted to say something, the way he snapped forwards, hands moving down his thigh like he was leaning over to reach for you, his eyes locked on your injured joint, but, just as he said earlier, he didn’t say a word. But the part that made you upset was…you didn’t stop him. You didn’t tell him it was okay for him to talk to you. You didn’t reassure him that you weren’t purposely trying to avoid him. You simply moved over to the kitchen to get something to drink.

It hurt worse than your shoulder, but you couldn’t handle it. Not then. Not with such an important part of the mission coming up. So you didn’t say anything. You just sipped your water, switching into tactic mode as your mind ran through the scenarios of what could possibly go down in the next 24 hours before you went home.

*************************

Walking under the arch, you couldn’t help but feel saddened as Zemo told you about what the courtyard used to look like. Thanos messed the world up so much more than you realized and, as much as you hated to admit it, the Avengers did have a part in it. Not that they - you - were in the wrong, necessarily. You truly believed you did what anyone in that situation, with the skills and abilities and knowledge the team had, would do what you did. Or tried to do.

“I’m gonna take a look around upstairs.” Sam stated, looking up at the upper stories of the building, before glancing at Bucky. “See what you can find out here. And keep an eye on him.”

“I’ll come with you.” You said, turning on your heel to follow Sam. The back of Bucky’s gloved hand brushed against yours, and instinctually you turned your palm to link your fingers and squeezing. You let go quickly once you realized what you were doing, nearly tripping up the stairs to get to Sam, not daring to wait for Bucky’s reaction.

“You’re an idiot.” He stated simply as soon as you met him at the top of the stairs.

“Can we focus on finding Donya right now, please?” You grumbled, moving forwards cautiously, peeking around the corner. You frowned when you saw two guys at the end of the hallway, looking back at you and Sam warily.

“You need to hear what he has to say, cher.”

You sighed, rubbing your forehead. “I know I do. I know. But I can’t. Not right now. I’m just trying to get this over with first. I don’t want too many things on my plate. I might choke.” It already felt like you were drowning most nights.

He paused at your words, giving you a once over, before nodding. “Okay. I can respect that.”

“Thank you.” You told him earnestly. “Now let’s try to get something from these people.”

He nodded in agreement and you two continued forwards with your search. Room after room, people walked out before you could get anything from them, locking doors behind them. The Flag Smashers logo was everywhere, but you expected nothing less from a refugee camp that practically worshipped what they were doing.

Even when you did get a guy to talk to you, he immediately shut you down, leaving you and Sam dejected. The fact that the world had gotten so bad that these people couldn’t trust you and Sam - Avengers; people who used to be heroes and bring hope to others - it made your heart sink.

“C’mon, Y/N.”

“Are we wrong?”

He froze at your question, his lips pressing together. “About what, exactly?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know. I just…I guess I can’t tell right from left anymore. I always assumed that the Avengers were the good guys. That the actions we’ve taken in the past were us making the world a better place, but…Sokovia and Ultron. Germany and the whole civil war thing we had going on. The entire world and Thanos. We don’t truly ever win. Do we?”

“I can’t answer that for you.” Sam shook his head. “I can’t tell you what to believe or who to believe in. But I can tell you that we’ve made a difference. Steve, Nat, Tony…they made a difference.”

“But was it a good difference? Was it a change? There’s a difference between changing the world and just making it different, Sam.”

He blinked at you, nodding slowly. “Yeah. I guess you’re right. And I don’t have that answer for you either. But they tried. They did what they thought was right. No matter if it was or not. And isn’t that all we can do? Try?”

His words made you think back to the conversation you had with Bucky once he learned about John Walker, which seemed so long ago. When you told him it wasn’t Sam’s fault. That he was just trying. That he did what he thought was right.

And maybe he was wrong. But he made a decision. It was his decision. To do the right thing. And right then, not for the first time, you could see exactly what Steve saw in the man in front of you.

“You’re a good man, Sam.”

Sam grinned, slinging an arm around your shoulders and squeezing. “And you’re an incredible person, Y/N. Let’s go see if Bucky and the Baron got anything.”

You snickered at his mocking tone towards Zemo and nodded. “Yeah. Okay.”

*****************************

You didn’t like it. You didn’t like it one bit. So far, Zemo kept proving you wrong. Even when it seemed like he was about to jump ship, he came back. No matter how many opportunities he had to escape, he never did. And it was making you even more suspicious.

You stayed out of Bucky and Sam’s conversation, although you had to agree with Sam’s point, especially with the conversation you just had.

Your thoughts were running a thousand miles a minute, only to be interrupted by Zemo information about the funeral this afternoon. Guess a snake will always be a snake.

“And you, uh, didn’t think this was important information?” You questioned, eyes narrowed and brow pinched.

He shrugged. “You have it now, don’t you, princess?”

Bucky growled at the nickname, leaning back on the couch, threatening Zemo with the Dora Milaje.

You can’t remember a time you’ve ever been scared of Bucky. Maybe a little threatened and intimidated by the Winter Soldier, but never scared of Bucky. And when he stood up after Zemo mentioned leverage, you didn’t expect anything from it; maybe another choke hold or something. So the glass hitting the wall, the clench in his jaw as he spoke gruffly to the Baron, for a mere second, he kind of frightened you. Maybe it was all the emotions you’d been through the past few weeks or maybe it was the adrenaline that seemed to be pulsing through your veins 24/7 nowadays. Whatever it was, it made you flinch, bolting up as Sam did.

You left the room quickly, hearing Sam say something about making a call, hoping to calm your racing heart.

“Doll?” You sat up from the bed you were laying on, legs hanging off the edge. Bucky stood in the doorway, nervously shifting his feet. “I know I said I’d leave you alone, but…”

You gave the bed a pat next to you and he gladly accepted the invitation, padding over to sit besides you. “I don’t want you to leave me alone, Buck. You’re my best friend. I-I just need to take it one thing at a time right now.”

He nodded. “I get it. I wasn’t…I wasn’t coming in to talk to you about that. You said we’ll talk about it later, so we’ll talk about it later.”

“I appreciate that, Bucky.” You smiled at him, before frowning. “What did you wanna talk about then? Are you okay?”

“Did I…did I scare you?”

You blinked at his question, tilting your head. “What?”

Jerking his head to the doorway he explained, “just then. With Zemo. Your heart spiked.”

“No.” You answered immediately. You would never ever admit that he kind of did scare you. It was just for a second and you knew how his brain worked; he’d beat himself up over it, go over his actions for hours instead of getting the rest he so desperately needs and deserves. He didn’t need that on his conscience right now. “I wasn’t - I just…you startled me. I wasn’t expecting that reaction-”

“I didn’t like the way he talked to you.” He spat out, glaring at his hands in his lap. “And then the smug bastard thought he was gonna get away with holding back information like that and I just…I dunno.”

His hand came off his thigh, but he hesitated. Before he could put it down again, you slipped your hand under his, linking your fingers, running your thumb in circles against his palm. “Don’t let him get to you, Buck. Don’t give him the satisfaction.”

A sigh left his lips and he nodded. “I know, I know. It’s just…hard. After everything he put me through - put us through - I…I just hate that he’s really our only option.”

You frowned, shifting on the bed to face him, one leg bending beneath you while the other still hung over. “Why are you so obsessed with catching these guys?”

“I wanna do something right.” He murmured, playing with your fingers. “I’ve done so much wrong…I just wanna do something right. And I feel...responsible for it, I guess. In a way. It’s Super Soldier Serum. I thought I was the only one after Steve…” He froze at the blonde’s mention, giving you a side-eyed glance. You nudged him, silently telling him to continue, that it was okay to talk about him. “And Sam’s right, you know. She’s just a kid. So…I dunno. I wanna help. I wanna do something right. And catching them would help. It’s right. Right?”

You nodded firmly. “I understand where they’re coming from. Karli’s just trying to help the world. But she’s doing it wrong. And that I know for absolute certainty. Which is good, I guess. I was talking to Sam early and I mentioned not knowing my right from my left recently. It’s good I know something, huh? And for you it should be easy telling your right from your left.” You joked, tracing the gold lines on his metal arm. “I guess you’re just gonna have to stay besides me to help me remember.”

Looking up, you found Bucky staring at you with something you recognized in his eyes, but didn’t want to name. “Three hours, forty two minutes and thirty one seconds.”

“What?”

“That’s how long I didn’t talk to you. It was too long.”

You sighed, ducking your head. “Bucky, I’m sorry-”

“I’m sorry. For anything and everything I’ve ever done wrong. I won’t mention the plane or anything we’ve talked about until you bring it up first. I promise. Just…just don’t ignore me anymore? I'm not sure I can handle it for much longer.”

You nodded, watching your fingertips dance along his scruffy jaw. “I won’t.” He caught your wrist, opening his mouth, before shaking his head and closing it. “What?”

He shook his head again. “Not until you bring it up.”

“We will talk, James. I promise.”

“You don’t have to explain. I get it. I really do. It’s okay. As long as we’re okay for right now, I can hold it in a bit longer.”

You nearly asked him what he was holding in, but you quickly shoved the question out of your mind, knowing it would take you down a conversation you couldn’t possibly have right then. “How long do you think we have?”

He shrugged. “I dunno. Zemo just said that it’s this afternoon. Why?”

“I started reading The Great Gatsby on the plane. I’ve got it on my phone. It kinda reminds me of you. Do you-do you think we have time to read some? Only if you want, I mean. Like we used to do in Wakanda?”

He grinned and nodded, scooting up on the bed and flopping down into the pillows. You smiled back, following his lead. Once you were comfortable, your phone out with the chapter you were on, Bucky scooted closer, laying his head on your stomach, hugging your waist.

“Is this okay?”

Your fingers found home in his hair and you nodded when he looked up at you for an answer. “Yeah. It’s perfect, Buckaroo.”

2K notes · View notes

hawkinsschoolcounselor · 4 years

Text

“Why do you lie?”: A look at a gay Mike Wheeler

This is a sort of a companion post to Will Byers and Growing Up Gay in the Pre-Internet Era, which I posted last year. I looked into what could have possibly been going on with Will as someone with a gay identity at a time when there was little support. Now I’d like to look at Mike, who would have his own unique challenges towards accepting a positive identity. This isn’t meant to be a post for why Mike is gay, as I (and several others) have already addressed that. Instead, I want to look at some of the psychological processes that may be at work in how Mike develops through the series. I will be treating Mike as if he were a real person, rather than a fictional character, and, so, I will attempt to ignore narrative devices (foreshadowing, parallels, etc.) as much as possible.

“Friends don’t lie” is one of the prevailing messages in Stranger Things. It more or less becomes El’s personal motto, so it ultimately became associated more with her than the person who taught it to her: Mike. Despite attempting to instill this value onto El, Mike himself is shown to have a lot of trouble living up to it. While Mike spends quite a lot of time in Season 3 lying to El, she is not the biggest victim of his lies. No, the one he lies to the most is himself, and he seems to have been doing that since Season 1.

According to the Cass Identity Model, a journey to a positive gay identity requires several steps: confusion, comparison, tolerance, acceptance, pride, and synthesis. This is not a perfect model, but it is one of the better attempts to create a general framework for how it worked for many gay individuals, at least in the time it was created (1979). A general way to look at it is that, at least at the time, individuals would work their way through this process as they engaged with the gay and lesbian community and started to see it as less of a bad thing and more as something to be proud of until it finally becomes just another part of who they are.

As I mentioned in my Will post, there is little opportunity for a kid in Hawkins to engage with the gay and lesbian community. There is no internet, nor is there any (known) place for local gays to gather in Hawkins. This results in the only real mention of homosexuality being the slurs thrown around by school bullies and people like Lonnie. A town like Hawkins would be a very difficult place for a young gay person to grow up. This makes it hard for even the initial stage, confusion, even occurring. Mike has deep feelings for Will, but the confusion stage requires that he acknowledge his feelings as homosexual in nature. Instead, I think Mike has been hiding from his own feelings, and it may not have been until the finale of Season 3 that he finally acknowledged them for the first time. So what comes before the first stage?

Lies! Well, sort of. Defense mechanisms are how our minds protect us from the anxiety and social consequences of unwanted thoughts and desires. We all use them, unconsciously, to some extent. The next time you come home from a hard day at work and yell at a family member, ask yourself why you’re angry. Odds are it’s nothing the family member did. Getting angry at work can be a risk to your employment, so, instead, you unconsciously find a “safer” target. In this case it’s still bad, but getting forgiveness from a family member is easier than talking a boss into rehiring you. Mike has similar processes going on to protect him from his budding attraction to Will.

It’s impossible to tell when exactly Mike started thinking of Will as more than a friend, even if he doesn’t label the thoughts as such. He already shows an intense concern for Will in Season 1. When the boyish-looking El shows up and provides an opportunity to find Will, Mike risks his friendships to make use of her powers. He also goes over the top in disguising her as, well, a girl. It probably would have been easier to disguise her as a boy, but Mike decided to put a wig and dress on her, and then apply makeup to her. This could be a combination of displacement and reaction formation. Mike is redirecting his feelings for Will onto El, and also making her as obviously female as he can.

Mike’s bond with El came very quickly, and even caused a rift within the Party. While Dustin and Lucas would come around and value El as a trusted friend, their process with her is more natural than Mike’s rushed, forced relationship with her. Dustin and Lucas had no weird feelings to hide from. Their search for Will contained no unwanted implications, they simply wanted their friend back safe and sound. Still, we would see Mike on the opposite end of this type of interaction in Season 2.

Max is the first “normal” girl to show interest in the Party. Mike reacts to her presence and attempts to join the party with hostility. There is little reason for this, as he was more than willing to allow El to be their friend. He doesn’t truly hate her, and in his own words he can’t hate her as he doesn’t even know her. He simply wants nothing to do with her. His only given reason is that the party is full as it is, which seems to fall flat. It could be that the presence of a girl reminds him of El, but we don’t see him acting hostile to girls in general. It seems, instead, to be his friends’ interest in her that gets Mike to dislike her. While the theory that he is jealous at Will’s interest in Max is intriguing, there isn’t much to go on aside from Will showing a curiosity about her and then letting Dustin and Lucas bring her along for Halloween. Instead, Mike may be projecting here. He shows incredulity that Dustin and Lucas could be so interested in Max despite never having talked to her, suggesting that he thinks getting to know someone is important in regards to being romantically interested. This runs counter to his interactions with El in Season 1. He resents his own behavior, but takes his anger out on his friends and Max instead when he sees them doing something similar.

Mike is very protective of Will throughout Season 2. He also spends a lot of time reaching out to El via his SuperComm, though he admits it’s likely a fruitless effort. His guilt over what has happened to the both of them is another sign of his mixed up feelings for Will and El. On Halloween, Mike and Will open up to each other about how crazy they feel, and they share a smile at the end of a conversation that is arguably a masked love confession. However, as Mike twice brought up El as a part of their conversation, it further reinforces the displacement of Mike’s feelings to her. However, soon after this, Mike finds himself caught up in another Will-related crisis, and El is out of his thoughts until her return at the end of the season.

Mike also shows a lot of willingness to allow himself to be vulnerable with Will in Season 2, something which isn’t seen in his interactions with anyone else. In these moments, Mike’s body language shifts. His tone becomes softer, his head dips slightly, and he peers at Will through his lashes. His aforementioned conversation on Halloween is just one example, but it is also seen when Will is asked if he remembers Mike, when Mike recounts meeting Will as they try to break through to him, when they’re at the movies, and when Will is packing at the end of Season 3. The moment in the shed is perhaps Mike’s most vulnerable moment. He shares a cherished memory, and unashamedly cries while doing so, perhaps even so lost in the moment that he forgets other people are in the room. His feelings, driven into overdrive by the fear of losing Will for good, are beginning to overwhelm him, but he still maintains his “Will behavior.”

This shows an uncharacteristic degree of trust and/or submission. In interactions with other characters, even El, Mike often displays assertive, or even aggressive, tones and stances. Mike doesn’t realize he does this, but we do see him sometimes use similar body language with El, further suggesting that he is redirecting his affections.

Perhaps the biggest moment we see him act this way around El is at the Snow Ball at the end of Season 2. Mike had been having a great time at the dance until Will had gone off to dance. This is strange considering Mike seemed to urge him to go with the girl in the first place. He appears shocked as the pair walks to the dance floor, his mouth agape, and wide eyes staring off into space. This isn’t the body language of someone expressing pride at a friend’s unexpected boldness, but rather it suggests a disturbing revelation. It is at this point that Mike could potentially have moved into the Confusion stage of the Cass model, as he sits on the sidelines (despite Dustin briefly there for company) watching Will dance. Any progress he may have made is instead halted when El arrives unexpectedly. This allows for him to continue using her as an outlet, and gives him a convenient escape from where his thoughts would likely take him.

Season 3 is the first time Mike had to deal with having both El and Will in his life at the same time, and it’s where his defense mechanisms begin to break down. In therapy, the goal is to shine light onto defense mechanisms in order to deconstruct them, so the patient can see and deal with what is actually going on.

We find out Mike has been largely ignoring his friends and spending most of his time with El. He makes a big show of his relationship with El, including leaving early after Dustin had returned from camp under the false pretense of a curfew. The others don’t buy it, and Mike likely knew this. He wanted them to know he was going off to make out with El. When we actually see them alone, they do indeed make out, but, curiously, Mike twice takes steps to make it less intimate. He stops to sing along to the music, for example, despite El not enjoying it. He also removes El’s hands from her face, leaving them both simply leaning forward at each other without additional contact. There is a suggestion here that Mike is not enjoying what he is doing and limiting just how intimate they get.

We continue to see his lack of a desire to be close to El. For her part, El shows behavior that could only be considered clingy. It is she who initiates nearly all of their physical contact, and, at one point, she even literally clings to Mike as Dustin is showing off his gadgets. A close inspection shows that Mike is standing with his arms crossed during this, making no active attempt to return the physical contact. None of this physical intimacy is for his own benefit. While being with El means he doesn’t have to worry about his feelings for Will, it does not really allow him to express those feelings to his satisfaction. This may be why he goes on movie “double dates” with Will, Lucas, and Max in between spending time with El.

The occurrence we see at the movies is clearly not the first due to Steve’s frustrated reaction and their familiarity with his threat. They are late, so there are not enough seats, but there is no hesitation as Mike goes with Will to sit apart from Max and Lucas. Mike is so comfortable with reaching into Will’s bag for the snacks that it suggests it’s happened multiple times before. We also see that, despite his reclusive behavior with El, Mike still has Will on his mind when he asks if Will is ok. His tone again soft, head slightly dipped as he peers up through his lashes. He glances briefly down, possibly at Will’s lips, suggesting he needs to remind himself that it’s not El he’s with at this moment. He is otherwise very content to be “alone” with Will at the movie.

Mike ultimately needs the relationship with El to protect himself against his feelings for Will, and it all comes to a head when they fight after Will’s attempt at a campaign. Mike’s continuous theatrics lead to not only Hopper forcing him to spend less time with El, but to him getting busted as he allows Lucas to lead him through a plan to get El an apology gift. We later see that he has no difficulties apologizing when he feels he should, so his grand gesture is another sign that his relationship with El is more of a show. He puts up no fight when El dumps him, acting annoyed and accusing Max and El of conspiring against him. He’s hiding from his own complicity in order to avoid acknowledging that it doesn’t really bother him as much as it should. He wants El to come back to him to continue his show, but he can’t do anything about it without confronting his feelings. El leaving didn’t hurt him; it just made him angry. This complicates things for him. It was easier for him to shift his feelings to El when he didn’t actually need to do anything about it.

Will loses it at Mike’s disinterest in his campaign, particularly his attempt to abruptly end it. Mike seems to be trying to be just another too-cool ladies man, and he is disallowing himself to enjoy the game. Still, he can’t bare to have hurt Will, and he chases after him when Will tries to leave. Mike struggles to maintain the lie while trying to placate Will. When Will accuses him of ruining everything to make out with “a stupid girl,” we see Mike lash out, saying it’s not his fault Will doesn’t like girls. While this hurt Will, it was likely another case of projection. Mike hates himself for spending all of his time with El because he doesn’t actually like girls. He can’t even stay angry at Will when he sees how hurt Will was with what he said. He tries to explain that this is just how it needs to be, and he appears sad as Will leaves. Unlike with El, Mike is hurt when he loses Will, and he chased after him to apologize. We don’t actually get to see him apologize, however, as the threat-of-the-season kicks into gear, resulting in Mike needing to get El.

Mike thus is able to bounce his feelings back to El. He maintains a physical proximity to Will, but also tries to avoid interacting with him. The apology he never gets to make to Will ends up clumsily being offered to El. Mike’s vulnerable, genuine behavior is absent as he goofily attempts to make nice with his ex-girlfriend. He awkwardly attempts to invoke previous conversations with Will, suggesting an increasing desperation to re-establish El as the safe target for his affections. Cracks had already been forming in his carefully constructed subconscious defense mechanisms as a result of the contrast in how El and Will dumping him made him feel. Mike is starting to see the truth, and he needs to fix it.

Ultimately, the Byers decide to move away. A few months pass between the end of the season and the epilogue where they actually move. Mike seems to be on good terms with both El and Will, but we don’t really know what happened in the interim to get him there. Mike has conversations with both El and Will. His demeanor in each again demonstrate that, despite what he wants others to think, it’s Will who Mike can’t bear to part with. With Will, Mike again shows his vulnerability when Will goes to give away his D&D books. Mike is clearly afraid at the implications, that Will will move on from him, but Will is able to allay his fears, assuring him it’s “not possible” for him to find a new party, and that he expects to just use Mike’s set when he returns. Mike shows no vulnerability with El. In fact, he seems quite at ease as he explains how they’ll talk all the time, so everything will be ok. El suddenly attempts to bring up his previous attempts to talk about feelings, and he feigns ignorance, seeming uncomfortable. There’s a suggestion that they never re-established a romantic relationship. She says she loves him, and he seems perturbed. She kisses him, and he stands there, unresponsive. As she leaves, Mike stands confused and disturbed. He was not expecting that, nor did he enjoy it. Previously, after such a vulnerable moment with Will, Mike would have jumped at the opportunity to shift his feelings to El. Now it seems that he is finally accepting the truth. Defense mechanisms, being elaborate unintentional lies, only work when the individual remains unaware of them. Insight results in the truth being revealed.

As the Byers leave, Mike stares longingly at the cars. His friends all bike away, but he hangs back momentarily, looking back at Will’s house one last time with a pensive look on his face. All his walls have come crumbling down, and he can’t deny it anymore. He can’t pretend it’s El that he loves. He rides home, walking into his home in a daze. We last see him seeking comfort in his mother’s arms, seeking that unconditional love he craves so much. Mike is now confused, consciously aware that he loves Will, dealing with not only losing him, but also the acknowledgement that he’s likely gay. He’s no longer lying to himself, though it remains to be see how he reacts to the truth.

From here it’s all speculation, as we have little to no knowledge of Season 4. Based on the Cass model, Mike needs to explore his gay identity by meeting other gay people. He needs to see that not only is he not alone, but that being gay isn’t a bad thing. This process isn’t easy, and he will need to deal with the social implications of what it means. He may well choose to attempt to maintain a straight image. El being away means he can claim her as his girlfriend without them needing to be intimate. On the other hand, with support, he could work his way through the model and learn to love himself as he is.

Note: I tried hard to stick to a conceptualization of Mike, but this does not mean this is how the writers see him.

#stranger things #byler #mike wheeler #gay mike wheeler #byeler

481 notes · View notes

lairofsentinel · 4 years

Text

Talking about the smidgens we saw of Gale, the wizard of Waterdeep.

[Baldur’s Gate 3 Early Access Spoilers]

Updated, AGAIN, because the hell of new aspects we saw when some bugs were sorted out. Warning: all this analysis was done for game versions 4.1.83 and 4.1.84

Well, I had to rewrite all this because the explorations of dialogue options and the bugs being, somehow, solved, allowed me to see small details from Gale that stand out or end up being more than curious to me. I'll list his main features to make things short (hopefully), and useful for... eventual fics:

Gale is a char who approves any good treatment to animals (and creatures in general). He has a cat, a Library, and writes poetry sometimes.

He doesn't like gratuitous murdering which is implied in the anecdote he told us about how he stopped a massacre in a Waterdeep city inn just by buying a round to everyone. It is also implied in his approval in most situations; even in the one with the ogres having sex.

He gives you disapproval most of the time if you use violence and intimidation as your first approach in solving a situation. He prefers eloquence, diplomacy, and negotiation. However, he is flexible enough to approve a performance-intimidation in front of goblins to avoid bloodshed. Point (2) is primary. So... he truly is a pragmatic char. It's not white and black: “never use intimidation/lie” or that kind of over-simplistic view.

He likes logical and reasonable conversations. An action that earned his disapproval can be undone if the main char (MC) talks to him and explains their reasons. You can disagree with him without having approval penalties most of the time. You can question many situations and, as long as it remains a mental exercise, there are no penalties. That surprised me a lot. Most characters disapprove you if you wonder about a potential situation, but Gale no. He is the scholar, he will allow a safe space to think around things without being too judgemental. We will see if this attitude lasts in the full game. No wonder some players see in him “the Teacher” archetype. Quite so.

He was an Arch wizard while being Mystra's Chosen One, and fell from grace when she put him aside. What is hard for me to grasp is if he remained Chosen One and therefore able to cast silver-fire during that intermediate period when he stopped having Mystra's whispers and his folly with the netherese taint. We know that in that moment Mystra removed herself from his life completely. But before, she has only stopped whispering and sleeping with him. So far I understand, being her Chosen One doesn't imply sleeping with her, most of the time.

He was a teacher (not surprising, since his over-explanation vices and details such as the pronunciation of “Trashj” make us suspect it), and had some students that he could not keep longer since their ineptitudes irked him.

Unlike the stereotypical “scholar” type, he knows how to cook, since he has been doing stews for the party in the camp. He also loves baths. A bit siding with the stereotypical “scholar” type, but a nice change for a “standard adventurer” type, in which most of the time it is implied that they are stinky with “animalistic” scents and uglier descriptors. No, Gale likes his lavender-scented baths. Good.

He is an over-thinker strategist. And also a char who takes responsibility for his own mistakes to the point that, when he dies for the first time, a programmed image is activated to help anyone to revive him. Despite the fact that he is dead and can give a shit about that, he is still responsible of the catastrophe that may happen if that weird magic orb stuck in his chest erupts.

He is also forcing me to check the dictionary like no other game has done in a while... the fucker uses uncommon words a lot of the time. Smidges? really? Gale is a hard char for a non native English speaker.

We can assume that during his teenage time, he was a pretty prideful peacock to the point to be blind at the reality (well, yeah, he romanced a goddess; if that doesn't give you a hell of a ego boost...) He remembers his young self's pride with a thick level of regret. He is now a mature scholar that, for a change, does not patronise you or thinks of himself better than anyone. Sure, he over-explains a lot, but that's something that most scholars/teachers do when they are worried that, maybe, they won't be understood.

He is confident in his years of study (for that reason he is a capable wizard despite having lost Mystra's favours), but he acknowledges his limits. Which is a nice change to see in the “scholar” archetype, the typical know-it-all. He knows a lot, he knows that he knows (it would be ridiculous to hide his knowledge), but he is human, and like he says: “humans are fallible”. However, it’s more than obvious that he has a big ego for everything he does, which makes sense since he follows a motto in his life: “try to excel at everything”. High accomplished scholar lifestyle, indeed.

If you don't share the Weave with him, he will state that nights are lonesome. It seems he truly is looking for some connection with a keen fellow mind. Probably it's this loneliness which triggers his urge to see Mystra's face during the night. We also know he, in general, lives in constant fear due to the Netherese taint in his chest. So, very lonely, and very scared.

I don't know if this is his poet side unable to be switched-off or it's another implication of how he sees sexual encounters: he never says sex (at least in my many runs, he never did it). He always gets around the word: love-making, art of the body, intimacy. For a scholar who is so prone to use the technical word for everything, and has already stated he is not coy at all, the use of these metaphors make me wonder if it's because he always conceives sex as something more than mere physical pleasure. For him, it seems to come with a more emotional connection (which makes sense if we think he will only sleep with those who connected to him through the Weave). Another small detail that may confirm this is when he asks the MC if the “other night” was wonderful. If MC claims it was “fun”, Gale shows a certain degree of uneasiness by that word choice, making us infer that he certainly doesn’t see sex as “fun” but as something else, deeper.

His tadpole dreams are about Mystra (rather obvious). His most desperate desire is forgiveness. Mystra's forgiveness.

Mystra was his first love. The affair did not last long. And since soon after her abandonment he looked for the Primal Weave book and was infested by it; one could assume he has been focused on solving his problem for the rest of his life than putting some energy in romance, especially if we think about (13). It's hard to say with certainty (especially with banters like these), but since he is a char that you can only sleep with if you share a mind-connection through the Weave, it seems less plausible that he could encourage into casual relationships during all this period of his life looking for a solution to the Netherese orb. If he got previous relationships, they may have been meaningful, but clearly not enough to win over the goddess’ and his urges to see her, lol.

He did not mind Mystra having many other lovers besides him. It seems to be the same with the MC, since he will insist in sleeping with them even after the party and even after the MC slept with someone else (however, that only occurs if the romantic connection through the Weave happened.) This fact combined with (13) and (15) make me wonder if he certainly wants to be with the MC too badly, even in an open relationship. We need to see the rest of his romance to be sure.

Since he looks for forgiveness so desperately, he is a char who will forgive most mistakes made by the MC if they acknowledge them.

He is a char who knows how grey and complex situations can be. This is inferred by the way he speaks of the tiefling girl who tried to steal the idol in the Grove: “She is not innocent, but that doesn't mean she is guilty.” (of course there is a lot of self projection there). This is also implied in his (surprising) approval of raising Mayrina's husband and giving her the control wand to search for a solution in Neverwinter. That shows that he can accept the fuckest weirdest situations, recognising that “sometimes we can’t choose situations but we can try to do our best, not always having the best results”. Also self-projection.

He appreciates his privacy to the point to leave the MC if the abuse of the tadpole power continues. However, and honouring (4), you can abuse of these powers and convince him with reasons: if you don't lie to him and explain that you have a responsibility with the group to know what happens with his secret, he will understand, and despite disapproving the MC actions, will remain without major troubles.

Certainly, as long as you give him reasons and logical concepts, he can almost understand everything with no disapproval or at least little one.

Consent and negotiation are vital to him, apparently. However, this aspect reaches a flaw. He was too angry with Nettie when she almost killed the MC, and he made a short speech about how nobody has the right to decide your options for you. Yet, in his romance scene, we see that he deliberately hid his true relationship with Mystra and his bomb-condition in order to sleep with the MC. In fact, during the party, if the MC tells him that doubts if he is the one they want, Gale will drop a curious argument: “That’s because you’ve yet to find out what your’re missing” (implying that he himself is what you need), followed by his most curious “Doubt is a spoilsport. Cast it aside”. That coming from a scholar is rotten, lol. He tries every convincing argument to sleep with the MC (if they shared the moment of the Weave, of course)

This happens in every variation of the path: whether the MC sleeps with him in the party, or afterwards, Gale will always wait for sharing a night with the MC before speaking the truth. It's hard to read this aspect since, he is a char who, apparently, needs a mind-connection with his partner for intimacy (see (12) and (13)); so this terrible strategy is like his way of trying to guarantee that the MC will not abandon him. I guess there is something along those line, specially if we keep in mind the book he explained: a book which is not only about the art of the body and the night and sex, but of other things such as conversation, exploration, and acceptance of oneself and the other. He is expecting with this night to reach the MC to a certain degree of intimacy in which, despite the raw truth, the acceptance will prevail. Remembering (16), he truly wants to sleep with the MC, baaaadly. And somehow everything feels like he wants to push things in a subtle way to a certain degree of commitment. Following the concept in (12), I think he has been alone for too long, and desperately needs someone in his lonesome nights and in helping him to deal with his burden. Finding someone who connected to him through the Weave (such a personal experience for him as it is) made him a bit desperate or eager. We know his emotion for the MC may have grown over those days since the connection with the Weave. In two occasions he or the MC can ask if both of them think about that moment. Gale says yes with such enthusiasm, that it may imply...that maybe, he has been thinking about that more times than he truly wants to tell the MC. The Weave moment had such a strong effect on Gale that, if the MC spent the night with another companion and rejects Gale’s proposition later, he will trail off a sentence that implies he was convinced that the MC and he were heading into something serious and deep.

Of course, once he sleeps with the MC, he confesses the truth right afterwards, accepting--without approval penalties--the harshest responses that the MC can give. He clearly knows that such manoeuvre was truly disloyal, especially contrasting it with all his speech of consent and rights to know about the true situation one is in. In the next morning, he acknowledges it was a rotten thing to do and apologies. But this shows that his principles can be bend and even be broken when it comes to emotions. I'm still a bit wary of his emotional stability, what can I say.

Mystra is more than an ex-lover for him, it’s magic. And Magic is everything for him, even more than life. I wonder if, given the opportunity, Mystra forgives him and asks him to return to her side, would he accept it without second thoughts leaving the romanced MC? It's true he also acknowledges that all that fascination he had with the goddess was a product of his youth; he knows he was a plaything in her hands. But I don't see he got over with it. He still idealises her, as such a good poet does. Idealisation, especially when a Goddess is involved, is a terrible thing to fight against for the next partner. No matter what speech of loyalties and consent he states during the whole game, the MC knows that magic and Mystra are Gale's Achilles’ heel, and factors in which they can’t predict his behaviour.

We also know that, because his bomb-condition, he tries to take all the opportunities to enjoy the little things of life that make him human.

Gale is a straightforward and honest (mostly, let's say) char. But we can see that he prefers to be honest in most situations, except in his Achille’s heel. Even when he wanted to hide all the stuff about the bomb in his chest, he did it by explicitly warning us that he was hiding something he did not want to talk about. Which is an honest approach considering the hardcore burden he carries and the immediate rejection it can mean if the truth unfolds too quickly among strangers.

When it comes to concepts, Gale has the symbol of the storm attached to him. So far, we see he talks comparing things with storms or storm elements: his lack of knowledge to explain why they are not Mind Flayers yet: the silence before the storm; the fear that rushes into his body when the Weave orb asks him for magic to consume: the thunder of a storm reverberating in his soul, the day it will erupt: the lightning striking, the consumption of magic: water running through a sore throat, Life itself: a tempest. When he asked the player if they were a wizard, he explains that he needs an Arch wizard and compares them with a Tempest. If we see the main image of Baldur's gate 3, it's clear that his main element is electricity/storm... so... full witch-bolt-guy here.

[updated later] The Weave moment is important to romance Gale. Leaving the moment in ambiguity will give the MC another opportunity to make their intentions clear during the scene of the Loss. However, remaining vague will lock Gale into a friendship path. What happens during this scene may suggest that the ambiguity in the Weave was enough to keep Gale thinking about the romantic possibility, but he will not engage into it by his own, which confirms (15). Unless the opportunity presents itself clearly before him, he will not pursue the MC. Further details [here].

Last moment detail: Gale says “I cherish you” when he explains he will await death alone if the Netherese orb goes out of control. I was not sure if that meant something more or less than love or like (I can’t not overlook the subtle meaning of the words coming from Gale’s mouth, he is a poet and his word choices matter). Checking the dictionary I found that “cherish” (in a relationship) is defined as to hold or to treat as dear, to feel love for and to care for someone deeply and tenderly. This man went straight into a commitment relationship without thinking it twice, and without (I believe) the MC knowing it either xD.

Let's see how these characteristics shift or develop deeper once the full game is out there. Now we have to wait a lot :(

To see videos where all this stuff is inferred or explicitly said, you can check [here]

More videos added later [here] and [here]

More content of bg3 in general [here]

#baldurs gate 3 #gale #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 spoilers #bg3 spoilers #baldurs gate

102 notes · View notes

dreamingabouthendery · 4 years

Text

Soarin’ (m)

pairing: jaemin x reader

au: disneyland worker!jaemin and reader

genre: fluff, smut

word count: 6.4k

warnings: smut, swearing, mentions of drugs (you’ll see), descriptions of sick? slight tainting of childhood (not enough to scar), controversial opinions (but not literally), unfunny humour

specific smut warnings (in case you dont want spoilers): fingering, blowjob, unprotected sex (but assume character is on the pill), semi-public sex?

summary: You have worked at Disneyland since the first year of uni, which has all but destroyed your ideals of magic. But when a new boy becomes the Mickey to your Minnie, you can’t help but find yourself intrigued by the bright-eyed newbie. Maybe Disneyland is magic, afterall. (this sucks im so sorry)

very, very heavily inspired by this thread on reddit. also, i hope you enjoy! any feedback will be much appreciated (this is my first fic as im sure youll be able to tell)

Ah, Disneyland, ‘The Happiest Place on Earth’. If you’re a child, that is. Not only can you meet your favorite characters who are probably doing lines in the back between rounds, but you have the honour of being able to watch them dangle helplessly from a wire during the firework display and narrowly avoid death. It’s no wonder you’ve been working there since your first year of uni.

‘Johnny told me there’s a new Mickey coming today.’ Eva, Princess Tiana and, quite frankly, the only decent princess in the whole park, says. She’s currently struggling to pull the long, white gloves over her own blue plastic pair of gloves she puts on for ‘safety reasons’ - her words, not yours. Though, it’s not like you can blame her when the outfits only get washed...well, never.

The two of you are currently the only two in the spacious dressing room which is permanently accompanied by the stench of sweat clinging to the walls, especially since it’s summer.

‘Oh, really?’ You ask from in front of her on the worn wooden bench, pulling your clunky yellow shoes on that dwarf your feet in their enormous size. It took you months to be able to walk in them without constantly tripping. Thankfully, it seems they at least got a wash after being puked on a few days ago.

She nods, moving towards the vanity and smoothing down a stray hair. ‘I know, it didn't take them long. Poor Jeremy, though.’

You hum in agreement. Jeremy ran into some trouble whilst covering a shift for the Donald Duck regular, resulting in a few broken ribs, a black eye and a dislocated shoulder. Or so the NDA requires you to say, anyway. Needless to say he quit on the spot.

‘____?’ You turn and see Johnny, your manager, making his way over to you with a cute guy in tow. ‘This is Jaemin. Jaemin, this is ____. He’s the new weekend Mickey regular. I need you to show him around Toontown discreetly,’ He gives you a pointed look to remind you that your characters aren’t supposed to talk. ‘And then you can camp out in Mickey’s House until the attractions close.’

You smile at Jaemin and he smiles back sheepishly as Johnny walks away without another word. Jaemin has arguably the prettiest smile you’ve ever seen, accompanied by the prettiest lips and the prettiest - is that too many ‘pretty’s? - twinkling eyes and you can wholeheartedly say you have no problem showing him around ‘discreetly’.

‘Hi, Jaemin.’ You say, suddenly aware of your current state of half-dress with your suit still unzipped and bunched around your waist. You catch him glancing at your exposed top-half and quickly zip up the back before clearing your throat and gesturing towards the locker opposite yours. ‘Mickey’s suit is usually kept in there.’

‘Uh, thanks.’ He turns quickly before looking back at you, clearly not wanting to ask you to leave but not wanting to change in front of you.

‘Meet you outside?’ You take the hint and stand up, grabbing Minnie’s head and placing it over your own.

He nods gratefully and you leave.

‘You’ll have to get used to that, you know.’ You say quietly as he joins you. For a late Saturday afternoon in the summer, the park isn’t as busy as usual; only the occasional family loiters in Toontown, though in the distance you can see the beginnings of a crowd forming in front of Sleeping Beauty’s castle in preparation for the fireworks as the sun begins to set.

‘Used to what?’

‘To seeing other cast members undressed and to them seeing you undressed.’ You say simply, waving to a child with a short brown bob and bucket hat that’s walking towards you as you head slowly from the staff area towards Goofy’s Playhouse. The child stops and asks both of you for your autographs, something that every Disney cast member has to perfect before they get to wear their suit.

‘Right,’ He mutters when she leaves. ‘What happened to the guy before me?’

You glance at him from the corner of your eye, momentarily forgetting you can’t see his face. ‘What’ve you heard?’

‘Nothing, why?’

You sigh. ‘He was jumped by some asshole teenagers. You don’t need to worry, though,’ You add quickly at his sharp intake of breath. ‘You aren’t dressed as Donald Duck so you should be fine.’ You joke.

He laughs slightly at that. ‘Who thought dressing up as a kids’ character could be so dangerous?’

‘Oh, you have no idea.’ You laugh, a little too loudly, drawing more attention to yourself than usual but automatically correct your pitch to match Minnie Mouse’s. You wave at the kids that turn to look at you and they hurry over, asking to take pictures. After they run back to their parents, you turn to Jaemin and ask, ‘So, why did you apply for the job?’

‘Wow, it’s like a second interview.’ You shake your head, mumbling a quick apology. ‘I’ve never actually been to Disneyland before, and you know,’ He gestures his hand aimlessly. ‘This is supposed to be The Most Magical Place on Earth’ - he quotes - ‘so, I guess I wanted to experience the magic firsthand.’

‘That’s Magic Kingdom.’ You correct automatically.

‘Huh?’

‘That’s Magic Kingdom’s motto. Ours is ‘The Happiest Place on Earth’.’

‘Huh. I guess there is a difference, then.’

‘Of course there’s a difference. Magic Kingdom isn’t nearly as good as Disneyland.’ You say simply.

Jaemin snorts. ‘I’m sorry I offended you.’

‘Anyway,’ You say, ‘If you’re looking for a magical experience, you’re coming at it from the wrong angle.’

‘Exactly how bad is it to work here?’ He questions, though you can hear a hint of amusement in his tone.

‘The best I can give you is unforgettable.’ You would explain to him the number of times you’ve caught both members of the public and workers having sex in various places including on various rides, and how Haunted Mansion is notorious for having people leave their loved one’s ashes in it despite the fact they just get vaccumed up, but it’s only his first day and you don’t want to scare him off.

‘Gotcha.’ He merely says and you continue on to show him the Chip ‘n’ Dale Treehouse, your favorite place in Toontown. At night, the treehouse is lit in such a way as to make it whimsical, the ragged branches no longer menacing as they are during the daytime. You can’t complain at the fact that it’s quiet due to the fact that most people overlook it, either, instead mistaking it as decoration and not an actual attraction that you can go in.

This makes it the perfect place to hide out in the nighttime, when people are busy with the most popular attractions and has made it sort of an escape to you. Well, that and it’s given you a bad back.

You pause in front of Mickey’s House. ‘This is your crib,’ you joke. ‘Are you ready for your first official shift?’ You say, feigning drama in your tone.

‘Oh, gee, Minnie, I sure am!’ He replies in Mickey’s tone, emulating it perfectly and making both of you crack up.

‘I have to warn you, though, expect your arm to go dead within the first few minutes from all the waving.’

‘Noted. This job isn’t going to give me carpal tunnel syndrome, is it?’ He asks, only half serious.

‘No, but it may make you hate kids.’

He chokes, but before he can say anything in reply, a small boy who looks about four illustrates your point by pulling down his denim shorts and taking a dump right on the tarmac next to the hideous grey mouse-shaped letterbox.

You can read Jaemin’s horror in his speechlessness as you merely sigh and pull out your radio to call in, ‘We have a code Pooh outside Mickey’s House, over.’

As you walk in your front door to your shared apartment with your roommate, Ailee, you catch her and her boyfriend, Sam, making out on the couch in the living room. You two met in the first week of uni when you both ended up at some frat party that you hated and hit it off.

‘Ew, gross, guys. You have a bedroom, you know.’ You say, throwing your bag on the coffee table and slumping down on the couch next to them, sinking into the plush white cushions.

Ailee merely throws her head back and laughs before saying, ‘Tell me all about it.’

You frown. ‘About what?’

She tuts at you impatiently. ‘Work, duh. Everyday you come home it’s been a bad day,’ She plays with a few strands of your hair comfortingly. ‘So, tell me about it.’

You scrunch your nose up. ‘Nothing out of the ordinary happened.’ You say simply, looking at your nails.

Sam laughs. ‘Even I know you look at your nails when you’re lying, ____.’

Your mouth falls open in shock, offended. ‘I do not.’ You insist and scowl internally.

‘You do,’ Ailee agrees. ‘But it’s okay, that doesn’t matter right now. What’s the juicy story for today?’

You roll your eyes. ‘I’m glad my misery is so entertaining. The only thing that’s different is that there’s a new weekend Mickey regular.’

Ailee and Sam share a pointed look. ‘And?’ She asks, drawing out the syllable.

‘And he’s cute. I guess.’ You add as an afterthought.

Ailee snorts. ‘You guess?’

You groan. ‘Okay, he’s cute, period.’ You concede.

‘So, ask him out.’

‘Can’t. It’s against the rules.’ You mumble.

She gives you an exasperated look. ‘____, sweetie, you’re the most lax person with a job still in the whole park. What’s one date to you that nobody knows about?’

You bite your lip. She does have a point. You think about how cute Jaemin was when he was nervous to greet the kids at the House and hide your grin.

‘She’d have to actually see him again, though, right?’ Sam interjects, interrupting your daydream.

‘Sam, don’t be such a Debby downer.’ Ailee whines.

Whilst it’s true that cast members in a couple usually split up, you doubt they would make Jaemin do his second shift on his own. Resolving to pluck up the courage to ask him out, you go to bed that night apprehensive about the following day.

Apparently God is punishing you for some unknown reason, because you don’t see Jaemin at all that day, or the week after. In fact, you don’t even catch a glimpse of him or the big round ears that are telling of Mickey’s character.

Eve informs you that Johnny teamed him up with Goofy for ‘variety’, meanwhile you’re being sent over to Soarin’ in Grizzly Peak, the most boring area in the whole park due to its unpopularity. You can’t help but worry slightly about Jaemin, though, thinking of the previous time you saw Daniel, Goofy’s actor, when he pulled a flask from seemingly nowhere inside his costume and took a long, deep drink before heading back out, slightly stumbling.

Before you step out, Bella, the girl who plays Cinderella (no, the irony is not lost on you), stops you and says, ‘Oh, ____, I heard the new Mickey Mouse arrived yesterday. Fingers crossed you don’t scare him into quitting, too.’ Ever since you auditioned for the part of Cinderella and lost it to her, Bella has taken to rubbing your inferiority in your face every chance she gets.

You roll your eyes and Eve says back, ‘Oh, fuck off, Bella,’ She turns to you. ‘She’s just jealous ‘cause she thinks he’s cute and he hasn’t even acknowledged her yet.’

You snort as Bella narrows her eyes and stomps away as best she can in her flimsy costume heels.

‘He was asking after you when he came in earlier, you know.’ Eve says.

‘Jaemin was?’

She hums before saying, ‘He looked so disappointed to be paired up with Goofy.’

You feel the blood rushing to your face as you smile. ‘Really?’

Eve looks at you knowingly. ‘Yep, said he wanted to thank you for being so understanding yesterday since no one wants to babysit the newbee.’

‘I’d happily babysit the newbee anytime if they looked like that.’ You say and Eve laughs.

Whilst you’re at the most boring attraction in the park, the day is still no less than eventful. You encounter a child stuck in a tree trying to skip the line for Anna and Elsa’s Royal Welcome on your way to the bathroom due to the nearest one being blocked off. After you manage to actually use the bathroom, you’re surprised to see Elsa herself there, half-dressed at the sink and you can’t help but wonder if that’s the reason the line is so long. To top it all off, one of the only times you manage to fill the ride at Soarin’, you notice a couple getting on while holding a backpack that’s moving and alert the ride operators. When they finally report back to you that there was a six-month-old baby in there, they have to convince you not to ring child protective services.

After you slam your locker closed in the deserted dressing room, you sink down on the rigid bench, putting your head in your hands and massaging your growing headache.

‘____,’ A voice starts and you jump, looking up to see Johnny standing above you, clipboard in hand. He barely gives you a second glance when he startles you, instead pretending not to notice and continuing, ‘I need you next Friday for a grad night.’

You groan. Grad nights are the worst events Disneyland continuously puts on, in the past coming second only to Nights of Joy, the annual Christian festival, before it was cancelled for good. Even the managers rejoiced in the abolition of Nights of Joy. ‘Can’t you find someone else to be Minnie? Everyone knows how bad grad nights are.’

Johnny sighs. ‘Fine, then. I’ll put you on watching the cameras for Star Tours with Jaemin.’

You ignore the way you want to immediately jump on the chance for some one-on-one time with Jaemin and raise an eyebrow. ‘Aren’t you not supposed to do that? You know, because he’s new and I’m not trained in…’ You trail off at the glare he’s giving you and purse your lips, nodding your head in acceptance.

‘Great, thanks.’ He says sarcastically and walks out.

At least the next time you return to Hell on Earth it won’t be in a Minnie costume.

You feel strange as you unlock and push open the door to the CCTV monitor room. If you had to put money on it, you would say it’s because this isn’t your job and you technically shouldn’t be here, but you’re not much of a gambler.

The heavy metal door gives way, opening to a small room with roughly fifty monitors, each displaying the Star Tours ride, the attraction itself as a whole and the surrounding area. You note the odd statue opposite the entrance that you don’t remember the name of - the satellites surrounding a distinct shape that is rocket-like. You shake your head internally at the sight. Why are the only pretty decorations reserved for Fantasyland?

You also note the dim red lighting and frown in confusion as your eyes land on Jaemin, sitting in an office chair in front of the wall of screens, wearing the same uniform consisting of a pale blue shirt and black trousers as you, except wearing it a hundred times better.

He turns upon your entrance, smiling as he takes in your attire. ‘I thought I’d set the mood with some lighting.’ He grins cheekily.

‘Oh?’ You say, stepping into the room, locking the door behind you. ‘What mood is that exactly?’

His smile grows wider as he says, ‘Adventure. We’re in for a night, so I hear.’

You groan, ‘You’ll wish you never agreed to doing this.’ You make your way to the chair next to his, sitting down on the flat cushion and leaning back.

‘How bad can it really be? These are literally a bunch of eighteen-year-olds who aren’t of legal drinking age yet and they’re supervised.’

You shook your head in mock sympathy. ‘Sweet, sweet, naive boy,’ You say. ‘Now you’ve jinxed it.’ You eye his coffee cup and wrinkle your nose in distaste at the black liquid. It looks like you’re staring into the pits of Hell. ‘What is that atrocity?’

He follows your gaze and laughs. ‘It’s coffee. Wanna try some?’ He maintains eye contact as he takes a sip and then offers it to you.

‘God, no. I have self-respect.’

He places it back down next to an intimidating set of controls, a hint of amusement in his eyes. ‘Also, I wanted to say thank you for the other week. For showing me around and stuff.’ He looks down shyly.

‘Oh, it’s, um, no problem. How have you been coping?’ You ask slightly awkwardly, not knowing what to do at his sudden personality flip-flop.

‘It’s a lot harder than I imagined it to be, honestly. I thought the worst that could happen would be screaming children and impatient parents.’ He admits.

You nod. ‘I thought the same when I first started last year. Little did I know the Karens were the least of my problems.’

He laughs breathily. ‘Tell me about it. I don’t know how you’ve managed to last so long.’

You shrug, embarrassed. ‘I just like making the kids’ day I guess.’

He coos and you push him lightly, smiling. ‘Why don’t we play a game?’ He asks, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

You narrow your own eyes. ‘What kind of game?’

‘Hmm,’ He pretends to think, tapping his chin. ‘How about twenty-one questions?’

‘Okay,’ You say slowly. ‘What are our rules going to be?’

He smirks. ‘You only get one get-out-of-jail card. And if you use it, you have to do what the other person says.’

You sigh. ‘Fine. Then, follow-up questions to your answers don’t count.’

‘Deal. I’ll go first,’ At your mildly worried look, he says, ‘Don’t worry, I’ll go easy on you. What are you studying in uni?’

‘Business and management.’ You say instantly, and he looks intrigued. ‘It was either that or English lit, and my parents weren’t too keen on me studying that.’

He frowns. ‘Why not?’

You avoid eye contact as you answer. ‘They’re both doctors,’ You clear your throat. ‘Are you in uni?’ You love your parents with all your heart but sometimes you wish they would just be happy with you being happy.

He takes the hint and moves on. ‘Yeah, I’m actually doing photography.’ He says, scratching the back of his neck.

Your head perks up. ‘Really? That’s so cool. My roommate is studying photography, too. Is that what you want to do after you graduate?’

His face relaxes. ‘I’m not really sure, to be honest. I just know it’s something I’m passionate about, you know?’ At your nod of encouragement, he continues, ‘There’s just something so amazing about capturing a moment forever in a way that really brings out its true beauty.’

You give him a small smile. ‘That sounds really special.’

He shrugs, though you can tell he appreciates it. ‘Anyway, it’s your turn to answer. Do you have a boyfriend?’

If you were drinking something, you’re sure you would have choked. ‘I-no?’

He looks slightly put out. ‘Is it complicated?’

You shake your head, maybe a little too hard. ‘No, sorry, you just caught me off guard. No, I don’t have a boyfriend.’ He looks instantly brighter. ‘Why, are you asking me out?’ You tease.

He blushes. ‘I mean, uh, I, um-’

‘Oh my God,’ You laugh, though you feel disappointed. ‘It’s okay, I was only joking. Ouch.’ You’re almost glad you didn’t get a chance to ask him out and make things awkward between the two of you. Maybe not seeing him for two weeks was a sign from the universe not to fuck up.

‘I didn’t mean it like that, oh God, I’m sorry.’ He groans and buries his face in his hands.

You tap him playfully on the shoulder. ‘It’s fine,’ You can’t help but feel hurt. Why did he ask you if he doesn’t care whether you have one or not? Maybe you’re just reading too much into it. ‘My turn, anyway. What’s traumatized you the most since working here?’

‘Learning that when cast members say ‘have a Disney day’ they really mean ‘fuck you’.’

You throw your head back and laugh. ‘That’s my favorite. Although as far as things go, that’s pretty vanilla.’

‘Maybe I’m a vanilla guy.’ He teases, and you can’t help but let your mind wander to an image of him hovering over you, reaching up to intertwine your hands together as he moans sweetly in your ear and you feel your face heat up.

‘So you’re admitting you’re boring.’ You joke halfheartedly, almost off-beat.

He places his hand over his heart in mock hurt. ‘That was uncalled for. Alright then, little miss kinky, where’s the most daring place you’ve had sex?’

Your eyes widen comically. ‘I-’ You glance at the monitors and see two figures in the back row of the mostly deserted ride, one hunched over with their head in the lap of what you make out to be a guy judging by the other figure’s movements. ‘Oh my God, no!’ You cry and fumble for the microphone.

‘What? What is it?’ Jaemin asks, his eyes searching. You can tell the moment he sees what you’re seeing, because he instantly cracks up laughing.

‘It’s not funny,’ You whine, pressing the red button on the microphone and saying as firmly as you can as monotonous as you can, ‘This is a family-friendly ride. Please refrain from scarring’ - you hiss and the figure has the decency to bolt upright and you see that they’re a girl - ‘the camera operators and fellow riders. Thank you.’ The others on the ride look around in confusion, and you can see the girl turn to say something to the boy. Judging by the way she gestures, it’s safe to assume it’s something biting.

‘I thought you said this happens all the time.’ Jaemin says once he’s calmed down enough to make the words out.

‘It does,’ You keep your eye on the couple, the guy wearing a smug grin as he zips up his trousers and the girl looking meek and embarrassed. Good. Public indecency is no joke. ‘But that doesn’t make it any less gross. This is a kids’ park for goodness sake.’

‘But there aren’t any kids around.’

You give him an exasperated look. ‘Well, I would never be okay with doing it on a ride in public.’

He licks his lips and you follow the movement only slightly too closely. ‘So when I asked where the most risky place you’ve had sex is…’ He trails off, smirking.

‘You can cross a literal children’s park from the list of possibilities, and proudly so.’ You say stubbornly. ‘Please don’t tell me you have.’ You rush to say upon seeing his face.

‘I haven’t.’ He says slowly, crossing his arms over his chest and sitting back in his chair, spreading his legs. You wish they didn’t look so inviting. You wait for him to elaborate, but he doesn’t.

‘But?’ You probe.

‘But nothing,’ He says simply. ‘So, are you gonna answer my question or are you gonna forfeit?’

You scowl at him. ‘What do you want if I do?’ You can feel your pulse racing in both excitement and fear but you keep your face blank.

His eyes shine as he leans forward, bracing his elbows on his thighs. ‘I don’t know yet.’

You swallow at his suggestive tone. ‘Fine, I’ll tell you,’ You concede, and he seems to not know whether to be pleased or disappointed. ‘My ex was a bit of an exhibitionist. He, um, you know, touched me when we went to see a movie.’

Jaemin raises an eyebrow, but you miss the glint in his gaze. ‘I thought you weren’t down for doing it in kids’ places.’

‘We were watching Paranormal Activity.’ You say flatly.

‘And?’

‘And it’s rated eighteen plus!’ You defend.

‘Is that the furthest you’ve gone in public? No compromising positions? No p in the-’

You cut him off hurriedly before he can go any further. ‘I’ve just never done it anywhere risky,’ You sigh dramatically. ‘I think I’m vanilla, too.’

He laughs loudly. ‘You don’t have to say it like it’s a bad thing. Anyway, I never said I was vanilla.’

You frown. ‘Earlier, you did.’

‘Did I? Maybe I was just saying it to tease you.’ He smiles a wide, boyish smile, completely contradicting what he’s implying with his words.

‘Oh?’ You say breathlessly. ‘Well, okay then.’

‘Don’t believe me?’

‘I-what? I never said-’

‘Would you rather I show you?’ He offers and your breath hitches as you meet his intense eyes. The warm brown seems darker and he glances at your chest as you breathe deeply. You can’t believe he said that. In the short time you’ve known him, you’re taken aback at how quickly he can switch between shyness and confidence.

When you merely stare back at him, not knowing what to say, he stands up and closes the short distance between the two of you so that his knee grazes your own as he stands above you. ‘____,’ He says, a slight rasp in his voice. ‘I need you to say it if you want this.’

You swallow and whisper, ‘Yes.’

He cups your face with his hand, his thumb softly stroking your cheek as he brings his lips down upon yours. You lift your own hand to hold his wrist which is currently beside your face and use the other one to grip onto the arm of the chair to ground yourself in the moment.

You let loose a small whimper as he glides his tongue across your bottom lip, and you part your lips to allow it in. He grips you tighter before he pulls away from your mouth to trail wet kisses across your jaw. ‘Guess you ended up tasting my coffee, anyway, hm?’ He whispers lowly into your ear before pecking it and you shudder, with both pleasure and laughter.

‘I guess so.’ You look into his eyes and see the pure hunger that makes you squeeze your thighs together.

Jaemin notices and pulls you up gently, pushing your hips into the desk with the monitors above it. Taking the hint, you spread your legs to give him room to stand between them, and he praises a quick, ‘Atta girl’, before leaning back down to reconnect your lips. You now take note of the slight hint of coffee on his tongue this time but you don’t care as you impatiently and desperately kiss him back and wrap your arms around his neck, bringing him closer. His hand ghosts up your thigh, making you shiver in his arms. He slowly moves to unbutton your bottoms, giving you time to stop him.

In response, however, you whine at what feels like his teasing and unbutton and unzip them yourself, causing him to chuckle as he pulls away. ‘Are you impatient, baby?’ You swoon internally at the pet name and nod, biting your lip.

‘Please,’ You manage. ‘Want you to touch me.’

He moans and slides his fingers into your underwear, not wanting to tease you over them after you asked so nicely. He grins as his fingers slide in your arousal and says, ‘You’re so wet already. Do you want me to make you come all over my fingers?’

‘Fuck, yes.’ You breathe.

His eyes drink in your rapidly rising chest and the utter desire written all over your face as he gently slides a finger inside you. ‘So tight and wet. How are you gonna take my cock if you’re this tight, hm?’ You whine and he eases a second finger in and starts thrusting at a pace that makes you arch your back.

Your hand flies to his bicep, feeling the way it flexes under your fingertips as he scissors his fingers inside of you. His thumb finds your clit and rubs hard circles into it, the pressure being just enough to make your toes curl. You lean into him and rest your head on his shoulder, pressing a swift kiss to the juncture between it and his neck. You marvel at the way goosebumps rise upon your touch and the way your breaths feel huffing against his rapidly heating skin. You can smell the faint scent of earthiness and wood from his cologne, which you take a deep breath of and breathe in his aroma as your hand winds itself in his hair and tugs when a particular deep surge of his fingers hits a spot that makes your brain go fuzzy.

‘Jaemin.’ You moan and he all but growls.

‘That’s it, baby, say my name. Are you close? Wanna see your face when I make you cum.’ His words weigh down your lower stomach like a ton of bricks, furthering you along in your chase to find your release. He nudges your clit deliciously, teasing you by rubbing around it every now and then, pulling you away only to bring you back with ten times the sensitivity and it’s enough to push you closer to the edge faster than when you touch yourself.

You feel the coil in your stomach tightening as you nod to answer his question and unbutton your top enough to fit your hand into your bra, your fingers finding your nipple and rolling it between them. You lift your face from his shoulder and stare into the seemingly pitless black of his eyes as they’re stuck to your face and the changes in your expression as he brings you to the edge. ‘Yes, don’t stop, please.’ You manage. His features are hard to make out in the dim lighting, but you notice the way his eyes zero in on your hand stuffed into your bra and it’s when he picks up the pace, fucking his fingers into you harder that you finally let go. Your eyes roll back and your grip on his arm tightens as you moan his name like a mantra.

He takes his fingers out after riding you through your high and makes eye contact as he sucks his fingers clean. ‘Mm, sweet.’ He teases.

You hide behind your hands in embarrassment and he laughs as he pries them away from your face. ‘You gonna let me bend you over this desk, now?’ He grins.

You nod meekly, your legs trembling as you stand up to your full height. Jaemin unbuttons your blouse as you return the gesture on him, pushing his shirt open to run your fingers down the ridges in his stomach. You teasingly flick your thumbs over his nipples and he gasps, to which you smirk and repeat the motion, causing him to moan and you bite your lip at the sound. ‘Sensitive, are you?’

He slaps your ass playfully in response, pulling your trousers and underwear down in one go. You reach behind you and unclip your bra as you step out of the pool of clothing at your feet, pulling it down your arms slowly. He opens his mouth to make a remark, but decides against it as your breasts come into view. He sucks in a breath and reaches up, tugging your left nipple that’s standing to attention. ‘You’re perfect.’ He says, taking in your figure.

You smile, hearing the sincerity in his voice. ‘I want to see you, too.’ You pout, pulling on his belt loops so that he’s even closer and then reaching down to undo them.

He helps you by unbuckling his belt and letting his trousers drop to the floor. You reach into his underwear and run your fingers down his length before wrapping your hand around it and moving it up and down. He throws his head back and you kiss down his neck, tasting the bittersweet salt of his sweat and the natural flavour of his skin. You pull him out of his underwear and begin to pick up the pace but all too soon he puts his hand over yours, halting you.

‘I want to come inside you.’ He phrases it like a question and you nod, turning around and bending over the desk. His hands smooth over the flesh of your ass as he says, ‘You look so good like this.’ Jaemin runs his length between your lips to lube himself and then situates himself so that he’s pressing against your entrance. ‘Ready?’

‘Yes. Please, Jaemin.’ You push your hips back so he gets the hint.

‘That never gets old,’ He pushes himself in steadily and you gasp at the stretch and how satisfying it feels. ‘Been wanting to hear you moan my name since the first day.’

You moan as he thrusts into you, hard and fast. His pace is almost bruising, the way he grips your hips assures you that you’ll feel a smattering of fingertip-shaped soreness tomorrow when you run your fingers over the area. ‘Me too.’ You say in between breaths. He reaches up to roll your bud between his fingers and you whine; your hand travels between your legs to rub your clit. It jumps a little from sensitivity but you keep at it until you just feel pure, white-hot pleasure.

‘Fuck!’ He shouts as you clench around him once he hits a spot that has you grasping his wrist. ‘You feel so fucking good,’ He praises, kissing up your back until he’s whispering in your ear, ‘So. Fucking. Good.’ In between thrusts. You shudder and turn your head, capturing his lips in yours. The kiss is messy but neither of you can bring yourselves to care, too lost in the feeling and taste of each other to pay it any mind. The sound of your hips connecting fills the small room, echoing as it bounces off the walls until your head is filled with his moans and his skin on yours and just Jaemin, Jaemin, Jaemin.

You feel yourself hovering over the edge almost embarrassingly quick and you cry out, ‘I’m so close.’

‘Yeah? Gonna come all over my cock like a good girl?’ He says huskily and you bite your lip and nod. You never would’ve guessed the timid boy you met on the first day who looked so innocent as the new guy had such a dirty mouth. It makes you shiver all over, loving the way his words caress your skin and make your nipples stand to an impossible hardness.

‘Yeah. Wanna be good for you.’

He groans. ‘You are, baby, you’re so good for me.’ At his words, you feel yourself come undone and your legs shake from the effort of holding you up. Jaemin whines as you clench around him sporadically, your breaths coming out in ragged puffs. You swear the sound pushes you harder for longer, wanting to do everything you can to hear him make such a pretty noise again.

‘Wait,’ You say, and he stops immediately. ‘I’m too sensitive. I can’t-’ Your voice cracks.

‘Can’t what, ____? Do you want me to stop?’ You can hear the genuine concern laced in his words.

‘No, well, yes,’ You huff and turn around, letting him slide out of you and you internally cringe at the feeling of him brushing against your sensitive walls. ‘Come here.’ You reach for his hands and pull him back over to you, closing the distance he put between you after you turned around. He looks confused as you smile lazily and kiss him sloppily, your hand moving between his legs to grab him at the base and squeezing him.

He moans and breaks off the kiss. ‘____, if you want to stop-’ You shush him as you drop to your knees and his eyes light up as you lean in to kiss the tip of him lovingly.

You trail your tongue from base to tip and take him in your mouth, suckling the head.

He curses. ‘Please don’t tease, I’m so close already.’

You relent, opening your mouth as wide as you can and sinking down to fit as much of him as you can. What doesn’t fit, you stroke with your hand. You can just about fit your hand around his girth and you can taste yourself on him, something you never thought you’d like but in that moment nothing could be hotter. He fists his hands in your hair, tugging slightly to make you look up at him. When you do, you moan around him at the sight - teeth tugging on his lower lip as he lets out moans here and there when you pay extra attention to the tip and his head thrown back, baring the honey-colored skin of his neck to your hungry eyes. He finally looks down at you and you’re close enough to hear his breath hitch as he watches you take him in and out of your mouth in a trance. You twist and tug him in a way that has his thigh twitching next to your head and so you place your hands on them and take him into your throat.

It’s when you simultaneously fondle his balls that he lets out a quiet ‘fuck’, followed by an ‘I’m coming’ and thrusts shallowly, causing tears to spring in your eyes. He releases into your mouth and you swallow it down and clean him off, earning that whimper that makes your clit throb.

Jaemin pulls you to your feet and into a kiss that you both commit to; one that’s passionate and slow as you calm both of your racing hearts and come down from the high of intimacy. You know he can taste himself on you, but he doesn’t hesitate to give his all. When he breaks away, he leans his forehead against yours, leaving wet kisses all over your face and you giggle. He runs his hands up your arms and says, ‘So, can I take you on a date now?’

You look into his eyes and nod, feeling suddenly shy at his vulnerable stare. ‘Yeah, I’d like that.’

‘So,’ He says casually, pulling you in closer by wrapping his arms around your shoulders. ‘Is this officially the weirdest place you’ve had sex?’

You gasp and slap his chest lightly but he just cackles in return, pulling you back into him.

#first #five #tags #dont #work #na jaemin #na jaemin smut #na jaemin fluff #nct dream smut #nct dream fluff #nct smut #nct fluff #nct scenarios #nct dream scenarios #jaemin smut #jaemin fluff

53 notes · View notes

sincerelyreidburke · 4 years

Note

please tell me more about boy scout dex

My friend, let me firstly apologize because I know I did sit on your ask for a little while. I think it’s been a month (?) since I posted that original random text-post about Boy Scout Dex, but as I mentioned in this brief PSA, I haven’t forgotten about him. I come to you today with a bullet-list!

As an FYI, I am definitely going to write actual prose fic about this in the future, so stay tuned. For now: let’s talk about Dex’s Boy Scout backstory.

- The first thing we should establish is that this is in the CCU. If you don’t know what the CCU is, it’s just my understanding of the canon universe. CCU stands for Cromwell Cinematic Universe, named for a stuffed lobster Dex has named Cromwell. Given that canon has never directly contradicted the idea of Dex having a stuffed lobster, I elect that this is the closest I’ll come to being canon-compliant. Prove me wrong. :D

- Anyway, the CCU is a series on ao3; you can read it here. Boy Scout Dex is simply another part of Dex’s colorful history.

- It’s really not that colorful, actually. I mean, he’s Dex. He comes to college afraid of baking.

- Anyway. Let’s talk, shall we? (This is going to get long, so under the cut we go.)

- In the CCU, Dex lives in Bar Harbor, which is one of Maine’s more famous towns, tucked into the east side of Mount Desert Island, which is just off the coast, and is the largest island in Maine. This is not a geography lesson, but since we’re here, here’s a visual. The little marked location is MDI, and then Samwell would be in the center-left bottom of the map.

- Anyways, with that digression aside, I’m bringing up Dex’s hometown/home island for two reasons: one, because I went and looked it up, and there is a Boy Scout troop there (Troop 89, though I was prepared to invent one if there wasn’t one on-island), and two, because the natural world around the island will become important later for Scout reasons.

- In order to proceed, let me introduce you to a few members of the CCU Poindexter-family expanded universe. MDI isn’t so small that everybody on the island knows everybody— the population is 10,000, which is just around the same as my own hometown, and I definitely don’t know everybody here. But what is true about my hometown is that there are certain families who have prominent roles in the community, and I would absolutely say that the Poindexter family is well-known on the island.

- They’re a very blue-collar, Irish Catholic, patriotic American family. Dex has cousins, aunts, uncles, and extended relatives galore. Dex’s uncles are notable enough in canon for him to mention them multiple times; in the CCU, he has 6 uncles on his pa’s side and another 3 on his ma’s. We’ll focus mostly on the Poindexter side for the purposes of Scout Dex.

- I have a feeling that the 7 Poindexter brothers (aka Pa and the 6 uncles) were probably all involved in one way or another with Scouts or at least some other community-building activity as kids. The one who rose to the top was Uncle Ronny, who is now the Scout Master for the troop on the island.

- Yes, I learned a copious amount of Boy Scout terms to make this post.

- Anyway, Uncle Ronny is a carpenter by day, and he takes the scouting stuff seriously; he sees it as a sort of civic duty. He has one son and three daughters (the female Poindexter cousins probably do Girl Scouts, but that’s a discussion for another time), and all his kids participate.

- Dex’s Pa, Will Sr., definitely also was super into this growing up. (In the historical AU I’m writing, Pa was in the Navy, and I cry every day thinking about how he can’t be in it in the CCU. This, as well as his general nautical lifestyle, is my consolation to myself.)

- Okay, so what do they actually do?

- Dex and his cousins grow up in the program. I feel like tiny redheads make up a solid fifty percent of the MDI Cub Scout troop in the late 90s and early 2000s. Dex is extremely outdoorsy even from a young age, and he loves Scouting, through and through— from the camps in the summer to earning badges and working his way up in ranks to even just spending time with his cousins. Cub Scout-era Dex sort of comes before all the repression, self-deprecation, and regression into the hardened, temperamental person he shows up at Samwell as. So in other words, Cub Scout Dex is a generally happy kid.

- Cub Scouts are from around kindergarten to fourth grade, or ages 5-10. Once you’re about 10 and a half, you move to general Boy Scouting, aaaaand this is where the fun begins, because in my research, I discovered…

- Sea Scouting.

- Sea Scouting is essentially a subdivision of the general Boy Scout program, and it’s exactly what it sounds like: Boy Scouts but with more nautical themes. Look… you guys… they wear fucking sailor suits… I’m physically deceased… I don’t think you understand how much I need this in Dex’s life.

- Has you or a loved one ever thought, hey, Mel, (that’s yours truly), do you by any chance have a thing about sailor suits? You may be entitled to the knowledge that you’re right…

- Pretty much every Poindexter who did Boy Scouts was also involved in the Sea Scout program. Why? Uhhhhh… they live on the ocean and have a fishery and also just think about all that sweet sweet oceanic Dex symbolism—

- Right, okay, so things that are important to Dex during his time as a Scout: oceanic conservation, also conservation on land because Acadia National Park is right on MDI, boating safety, actual sailing. Fun fact: they have sailing competitions.

- Through the entirety of his Scouting life, Dex is really close with Uncle Ronny. He’s one of probably three cousins who are the most active in the program, and I’m jumping the gun a little on myself here, but he definitely does get Quartermaster. This is the highest rank you can get in the program, and it’s taken very seriously by everyone involved. It’s the Sea Scouting equivalent of Eagle Scout, which is probably much more familiar to most of you.

- Uncle Ronny is his go-to uncle for all things Scouting and also probably all things outdoorsy.

- Some time later, when Dex comes out to his family, Uncle Ronny will take it very, very hard. Although other uncles will come around, his relationship with Ronny will never really recover.

- Anyway! We are not going down that road at this moment in time. Let’s move on.

- By the way, the entire troop is definitely really closely tied with the island’s Catholic church. They very likely wear religious emblems on their uniforms. There’s a lot about God in the general guidelines of being a Boy Scout, and the troop is all over this. Because New England Irish Catholics.

- Okay, Dex gets Quartermaster. It’s the highest honor a Sea Scout can have. The core tenets/skills, fun fact, include: swimming, safety, marlinspike seamanship (???), boat handling, ground tackle, navigation, weather, and environment. He’d be getting this right around the same time he’s graduating high school. To get Quartermaster, you have to physically take control of a boat for like 40 hours, with other Scouts as witness. That is super badass.

- Also, I need you guys to see these uniforms. If someone drew Dex in this, I’d die.

- This is getting so long; I’m so sorry. Okay, some other time, remind me to talk about Dex’s internal struggle in response to the Boy Scouts homosexuality controversy. (I won’t go super into this right now, but essentially, until recently, gay men couldn’t be troop leaders. Gay youth membership has also been… generally discouraged, without being directly prohibited. There’s a lot to unpack there.)

- But, y’know! Poindexter family tradition, right???

- Aside from all the nautical skills, Dex’s Scout background translates to this at Samwell: he’s always prepared. The Boy Scout motto is literally Be Prepared. I think it’s easy to see, from all our canon knowledge of Dex, how this kind of background could factor into his character.

- I mean, the boy is constantly volunteering himself to fix things.

- Okay!!!! At the risk of making my longest text post ever, I will stop here for now. But please know: my ask box is open. There will be fic about this, and probably more of these bullet-list text posts. Ask or send me anything you’d like.

Thank you very much for the ask, and thank you for your patience while I put this together!

#omgcp #omgcheckplease #william poindexter #boy scout dex #cromwell the stuffed lobster

78 notes · View notes

broadwaybaggins · 4 years

Note

Sure, the costume had been made for someone nearly a foot shorter and substantially wide-- she could make it work. First line fanfic

Behold, the summer camp AU that literally no one asked for (seriously, no one asked for this.)

Sure, the costume had been made for someone nearly a foot shorter and substantially wide-- she could make it work.

Emma took a step back and shook out the costume in her hands, releasing a cloud of dust that danced in the sunbeams. She was up in the attic of one of the barns that the camp used primarily for storage, searching through moldering boxes of costume and dress-up clothes. It wasn’t even mid-morning, but already the heat and humidity were thick enough for Emma to wish that she’d taken a leaf out of her sister’s book and begged to be assigned to lifeguard duty instead of the mishmash of theatre/arts and crafts that she had gotten stuck with. At least Alice got to lounge around by the pool or the lake every day instead of being stuck up here, sifting through relics of camp pageants past and sweating like a sinner in church.

It was only the third official day of camp. The showcase wasn’t even until Fourth of July weekend, but Anne had sent Emma up here to “see what they had to work with”, and as Anne was technically her superior this summer, Emma wasn’t about to argue. Her family might own the camp, but that didn’t make her immune to getting into trouble...and Anne certainly had a talent for getting others into hot water.

Emma shifted so she was sitting criss-cross applesauce, as her littlest campers called it, on the grimy floor. Already streaks of dust and dirt marred her cutoff shorts, and sweat was dripping down her back and dampening her camp shirt. She pulled another box toward her and opened it up, but this one only revealed some old Americana sheet music and some truly ancient craft supplies, including a Ziploc baggie of pipe cleaners that may, at one time, had been bright fuchsia but had faded to a sad shade of baby pink, all tangled in a knotty, gluey, glitter-filled clump. The former she set aside--you never know when something like that could come in handy--and the latter she put firmly in the garbage pile. At this point, she was going to throw out more stuff than she actually uncovered.

Even though it was hotter than blazes, Emma reached up and yanked the hair tie out of her ponytail, letting her dark hair fall in waves around her shoulders. She ran her fingers through it a couple times, ignoring the cloud of heat that it raised around her, as if she were sitting in an oven. She went to pile it up on the top of her head in a messy bun (much cooler, temperature-wise, than a pony even if only incrementally) when she heard a creak from the ladder leading up to the attic. “Hello?” she called, getting ready to untangle her legs and stand up. The last thing she needed was for one of her kiddos to figure out that there was a ladder that they could climb with no supervision. She could already envision the paperwork.

But instead of one of the kids in her group, the head that appeared in the trapdoor entrance was that of a dark-haired young man who Emma recognized from orientation. The last few days, beginning with orientation weekend before being tossed headfirst into the deep end of campers and schedules and mercifully, no rainy days yet, had been such a blur that Emma was still getting acquainted with everyone on staff. She thought for a second, remembering dinner on Sunday night before the first session day campers arrive the next morning, vaguely recalling seeing this man sitting next to Samuel around the fire. They had been laughing at something, and then Sam had brought out his guitar...

Emma watched his eyes scan the attic for a moment curiously before landing on her. “Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t know anyone was up here.”

“Just me,” Emma said with a smile, watching as he climbed the rest of the ladder and gently hoisted himself through the trapdoor. His camp shirt was black--Emma didn’t know how he was handling that in this heat--and he wore tan cargo shorts and sensible running shoes which crunched the grit under his feet as he walked over to her. “Raiding the costume stash looking for anything we can use for the Fourth of July extravaganza.”

“Already?” he asked, his eyebrows raising.

“Be prepared or die trying. The unofficial Anne Hastings motto.”

That got a laugh out of him. “She does seem a little...intense.”

“You don’t know the half of it.” Emma wiped her dusty hands on her shorts and stood up as gracefully as she could manage. She hoped she didn’t have any dirt or dust on her butt, then wondered why she cared--hopefully he wouldn’t be looking at her butt anyway, right? added a voice in her head that sounded an awful lot like Mary.

“I’m sure we’ve been introduced, but you’ll have to forgive me--it’s been pretty much a whirlwind since day one. I’m Emma, Emma Green.”

She held out a hand and he shook it, tilting his head thoughtfully. “Green? As in James and Jane Green, directors and general head honchos? Green as in...Camp Green Wood?”

Her face flushed. “Yeah. Those Greens. Sorry about the name. Great-great-Granddaddy thought he was clever.”

Another laugh. Emma was two for two. “I think it’s funny. I’m Henry Hopkins.”

“Oh!” That did spark a bit of recognition. “The...chaplain, right?”

“Student chaplain, at least for now,” he corrected gently. “But not so much while I’m here. Unless it’s really needed, I guess. Instead, you can catch me attempting to supervise fifteen fourth grade boys through the different activity groups.”

“Oh, a true counselor,” Emma said knowingly. “Good luck with that. They showed y’all where they keep the coffee, right?”

“Oh yes. It hasn’t been too bad so far, although there was one incident yesterday with some ghost stories that upset some of the boys. Something about Civil War phantoms?”

“Oh yeah, there’s lots of stories about that. Some small battles took place on this land. The hotel my family owns used to be a hospital during the Civil War, actually, so if anything is bound to be haunted, my money’s on that.” She trailed off, aware that she was rambling on about things that he probably didn’t even care about. He was studying to be a preacher, right? He probably didn’t even believe in ghosts.

He looked interested, though. His eyes were very, very blue. “That’s amazing,” he said. “The hotel, I mean. The history there.”

“Yeah. I mean, when you’ve grown up around it, literally, it kind of stops being interesting. But I’d be happy to give you a lesson. A history lesson, I mean. I’d be happy to tell you about the history. Only, be prepared for like a super SparkNotes version.” She glanced around the mess of boxes at their feet. “Speaking of history, I actually was sent up here to see what of this mess can be salvaged for the Fourth of July show, which Anne has somehow gotten into her head is going to be a musical journey through American history, so if we get a call from Lin-Manuel Miranda’s lawyers, we know who to blame.”

“Sounds ambitious.”

“Particularly considering the kiddos are supposed to have a hand in writing the show, and we haven’t started, so I don’t even really know what I’m looking for.”

“Can I help?” Henry asked, sounding eager. “I mean, technically I was sent up here to look for some extra canoe paddles, but I’m not seeing any, and this seems a far more worthy cause. Besides, I’m doing a history minor. I could be your historical consultant.”

“I think in the theatre world, they might call that a dramaturg.”

“Even better. Now I have a cool title.”

Now it was Emma’s turn to laugh. “Well, if it won’t get you in trouble, I sure could use the help. Or at least some company.”

Henry made a little face and reached for the nearest box, dragging it across the grit to him. “Byron’s in charge of the boys for the next hour at least. Hopefully they won’t eat him alive before then. I’m all yours until they need me to report for duty again.” He tugged on one of the corners of the box, tearing the cardboard slightly as it opened. An assortment of feather boas in various colors tumbled out, and he looked up at Emma triumphantly. “Something that you might be able to use?”

“Oh, jackpot. Having you around is already starting to pay off.”

Maybe, Emma thought, it wouldn’t be such a terrible summer after all.

#drabble prompt #jomiddlemarch #Emma Green #Henry Hopkins #summer camp AU #that no one asked for

17 notes · View notes

mcroadtrip2020 · 4 years

Text

How did I get here?

December 31st, 2019 I was in the south of Chile in Pucon with my AFS son’s family celebrating New Years, 2020! Together 10 of us stood around an open fire and burned notes of things from 2019 that we wanted to never see again. I had more than a dozen from 2019. We then made lists of wishes for 2020. All things positive were going to happen in 2020. It was going to be a great year!

That trip followed with great work for Kohler leading their initiative around safe water. This included a 10 day trip to India in late February. On that trip we were hearing about this Corona Virus, but paid little attention. “It was a China thing”. Three weeks later we would all be working from home and shifting all focus of work to COVID 19.

Future work trips to China and Vietnam were cancelled. The family trip to St. Pete’s Beach in Florida nixed. Friend gatherings now zoom calls. I was quarantined at my beautiful home on Crystal Lake and, frankly, that wasn’t so bad! I contemplated that this was the first time in 42 years that I wasn’t professionally dressed and at a desk at 8:00 a.m.

So dating. . . . I had been on match.com off and on for the 15 or so years. The focus of my life since my husband unexpectedly died while on vacation in 2001, was family, work and reward/adventure trips with friends. I have many great friends who had filled my life. “It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved” was my motto. But deep down I always hoped there would be love again in my life. My daughter started a COVID dating relationship and things were going well. So back online I went.

Then on June 4th , this guy Matt liked and messaged me. “Hi Cindy, love your fun profile and music angle. Any fun gigs coming up in June or are they all shut down for now? Well – I ignored that message until June 22nd at which time I answered his question. He was always quick to respond, and I usually was a week or so later. On July 4th he mentioned he was leaving town for a week or so and perhaps we could talk upon his return. Whew – good – this guy is going away for a while. I gave him my phone number and said sure – call upon your return and put it behind me.

A week later on a Sunday night my phone rang. Thinking a robo call, I probably wasn’t the friendliest. But there was Matt. And Matt was fun. Funny. Interesting. We had a lot in common. We agreed to meet the following week. Date #1

And here we are today - probably around Date #18. Its’ been a pretty amazing couple of months together. Lots of laughs, adventure, conversation. At one point we talked “bucket lists” On my bucket list is to travel to all 50 states. Remaining? Three trips --- GO West through the National Parks. Go Northeast to Maine and Vermont. And eventually knock off Hawaii. Only to learn that Matt was thinking of a trip to Portland to visit his kids and grandchildren.

And here we are - September 24th – getting ready to depart Friday on a cross country to trip together in a car, camping along the way for 10 days. We’re ready for this! I mean – we did spend a weekend together once. We got this. Right? What could go wrong?

3 notes · View notes

jackshithere · 5 years

Text

Till and Schneider in an interview with the "Stern"

source

They sing about child abuse, incest, necrophilia. In a video they show excerpts from Leni Riefenstahl's body-cult Olympia movie. And when singer Till Lindemann rolls the R, it roars out of the speakers as it once did from the Volksempfänger. The Wall Street Journal stated, "Woah, that's German!" Rammstein, a german band. A [politically] right band? Since its founding in early 1994, the six musicians from Schwerin and East Berlin are suspected of doing right-wing rock.

In fact, the lyrics with their portrayals of sex and violence are often close to censorship - but fascism is not even between the lines. Now Rammstein, with around three million albums sold, the internationally most successful German-language band since Kraftwerk end of the 70s, a new CD on the market: "Mutter" is by pre-orders even before the release on 2 April for the top 3 of the German charts written down.

The 'Stern' spoke with singer Till Lindemann and drummer Christoph Schneider about their youth in the GDR, Rammstein as a therapy - and provocation as a stylistic device.

On your new album you have underlined the title "Left 234" with the sound of marching boots. That sounds like the newsreel 60 years ago.

Schneider: The piece was the first attempt by Rammstein to deal artistically with the eternal reproach that we are a right-wing band. It's almost funny that this will cause some discussion again.

But you could have omitted the marching sound. Would not the message that your heart seems to be "leftist" be less clear then?

Till: That's the intention. One lets something march and then answers.

Schneider: We hate to express ourselves clearly. Rammstein always has room for interpretation.

That makes for misunderstandings.

Till: That was right from the start. We all grew up in the GDR, come from the punk scene. If we wanted to perform there, we had to present our repertoire before the so-called rating commission. Of course, you had to think very carefully about what you say, what you sing and sometimes how you play. Any criticism of the system was prohibited. So you had to try and make a loop. That's probably why it's still within us that we like to respond ambiguously.

Schneider: When you look at lyrics from GDR bands, you can see how good they are in part when they rewrite a subject with lyrical means. This past is closely connected with us. We can not get away from it. That was our youth. If we came from the west, Rammstein would not exist. At any rate, we would not be so violent.

Why not?

Till: What do you want to do to get you to play in front of more than ten people? You start using provocative means and being extreme. There we were certainly more courageous than East Germans. It started when we sang that kind of hard music in German. And then something has also unloaded what had accumulated in our GDR youth, because we have reacted abreacted. Finally we were allowed to say everything, do everything. Basically it was quite simple: look into your stomach, look into your soul, and start making music.

Out of your seemingly very dark soul came out lines like:

"My black blood and your white flesh / I'm getting hornier from your shrieks". [Mein schwarzes Blut und dein weißes Fleisch ich werd immer geiler von deinem Gekreisch]

Was that more than a provocation?

Schneider: The provocation is exhausted at some point. There are only a few topics that are good for it. We used them up.

Till: What's the use of writing the same kids fuck song for the third time?

Schneider: We started with the tank at that time, regardless of left or right or losses, and we broke through. We have been heard. Now we're going to deal with the pieces left over. And start to realize what we really are - a German metal band. With the new album we often asked ourselves: Is that still Rammstein? Are we starting to make only beautiful music? So far, the new record is no longer provocative. That's certainly mainstream. But good mainstream.

The provocation of Rammstein is not only based on the ambiguous texts, but also on the aesthetics of the band and their show. Military headlights [basically Batman signal thingy] shining in the sky are evoking images of Nazi Nazi party rallies; Lindemann's throaty chant reminds us of the rolled-up R Nazi sizes. Does it have to be that way?

Till: The R comes on its own. When I sing so deeply and expressively, my vocal cord flutters, and then it just rolls. By the way: Peter Maffay's vocal cord reacts similarly, but also rolls the R. And the light dome, which looks good, right? It's not about more. Just because it's associated with those twelve crappy years, should not that be allowed anymore? Then tear down the Olympic Stadium and all the other Nazi buildings in Berlin! This is twelve years that this idiot named Hitler has on his conscience, and again and again one comes back to it. It's about art. There is no relationship between one and the other.

Schneider: This discussion shows that there seems to be no coping with the past in society. You can say: Okay, there is the light dome, I think that's good, and there's the Reich Party Rally, I think that's shit. You can separate that, everyone for yourself. Only in this way can one find the way to one's own history. I can not always think, oh, it's all so loaded, I can not talk about it, and the others could think ... No, open dispute! The task of Rammstein is also the search for an independent music, a German music. Of course, we come across our story and get all these allegations. But I see that rather positively: We try to find our own identity, which many musicians or artists in Germany have given up long ago.

This also means that you show no emotion on stage and Lindemann beats his head bloody with the microphone?

Till: We're actors on stage, that's show. You do not notice the pain when you hit the same spot every night on the head. Schneider has even received a broken neon tube in the shoulder. Paul, our guitarist, burned my ear in Australia now.

Schneider: It's probably like this: Rammstein is like a self-help group for us. Like a therapy.

When did you first learn about the era of National Socialism?

Till: We grew up with Auschwitz. With us was the everyday life: group travel with the school to the camps, see Buchenwald, flowers lie down at monuments, join the concentration camp march through Mecklenburg, to Güstrow along the highway. There are such monuments on every corner.

Schneider: In the GDR civics and history lessons were strongly antifascist-colored. Everything except communism was evil: fascism, West Germany, capitalism. These were all taboos. I think that's why we now have this pronounced right-wing extremism in the East: I'm shit, and I want to draw attention to myself. So I use the worst of what I know - and become a neo-Nazi.

Why do not you participate in concerts like "Rock against right-wing violence"?

Schneider: We do not want to be tense with these carts. That would be ridiculous. Then it is said that we used it only to become even more popular. Besides, what's the use? The right ones are there. They are part of our population. We have to accept this problem and finally accept that there are these tendencies in Germany. It does not help to always exclude the right. We have to talk to those who solve their problems.

Rammstein reaches the Far right scene.

Till: We reach many, including the advertisers in Hamburg. And as far as the right is concerned, for me the state is too soft-spoken about the problem. You have a black half-dead, and there are construction hours as punishment. We used to beat ourselves with skins even before the turnaround in Schwerin - why do not you go through harder today? I grew up with a girl who is a mulatto. She still visits Mecklenburg every summer. She is afraid of people and does not dare to go to certain places. I'm just ashamed of that.

Nevertheless, you play with a Germany image that evokes certain memories.

Schneider:DRammstein is not a concept. We've come together to do this music and show, and we work like a support group. We do what we like well, nothing more. Maybe that's why our fans think we are authentic. Following the motto: Rammstein do their thing and are not like the others. This may also explain our success in the US. But with that our critics get a problem again: They fear that the American kids will not associate with Germany any more than Rammstein. The Americans are really only on our artistic skills. This is politically overrated.

Till: One does not ask Ricky Martin which political attitude he has. You listen to a song, find it good or bad. That's all.

#Rammstein #long post

12 notes · View notes

yvngbin · 6 years

Text

hello i’m arriving to the party an entire day late and this is Not Surprising at All to anybody who knows me slightly well because i’m late to everything. said late writer is ya boy , felix ! i’m 20, i use he / him pronouns, annnd you don’t wanna know about me, you want to know about actual Nerd incarnate , yongbin .

his stats are here , bio is being rewritten because my dumbass deleted it from my drive , and all i have left to say is that you can like this if you want me to message you on here or discord to plot instead, since i’m usually faster on there … usually …

note: talks of surgery / birth defects, & kinda nsfw

⦑ felix. / 20. / gmt. / he/him. ⦒ woah ! tell me i did not just see cho yong bin walk past us, they’re the child of the cho family right ? they’re twenty three now, so i wonder if they’re here training to become an anarchist hacker. i heard they’re really intuitive & vexatious, so i’d say stay away from them unless you really wanna try your luck. no wonder they’re so notorious though, with the face of byun baekhyun i’d be interested in them as well. anyway, back to what i was saying. - yongbin, pain in the ass, and his most common sobriquet, zero ( name’s inspired by binary code btw ) , was a self taught anarchist hacker , but he sure as hell hasn’t been doing it for free all this time. he’s immensely adept and writes concise code and thoroughly enjoys annoying people and wreaking havoc in that precise order.

- hacker is kind of a blanket term, bin’s speciality was in blackmail, identity theft, exploiting vulnerabilities in various networks and systems, and causing all sorts of chaos online. when he was younger and before he was intimately familiar with the academy, he offered out his services to online rebel groups ( both good and bad ) and wasn’t officially apart of any system or group.

- this was subject to change a few years later when he was caught out on a slight mistake tracing back to his ip, assessed by an official representative of the school, who was impressed by his abilities and offered him an ultimatum: to join the academy or go to a detention camp.

- behind the screen bin was born with a pretty serious congenital heart defect. he needed surgery to survive, if only temporarily. every ten years or so, he’d have to do the same, with more or less no guarantee that they would all be successful. ( i would like to think that when he joined the academy some sort of technology maestro has helped him w / his respiratory issues so lmk if there’s a potential plot link there )

- bin is also an orphan who went through a very jaded system . he never knew his parents and frankly doesn’t care to know them, but little does he know that they have been tracing him from birth and were the sole reason why he got his place in the first place, ultimately unable to take care of him when their careers, both arms dealers, were too dangerous for a kid. his craft and experiences with life has made him instinctively cynical about his parents’ generation so like.. trusting an institution full of teachers their age was not and would never have been an ‘ideal’ for him.

- his part time job used to be at a pc repair shop and he liked working there a lot, most people would question why he’d ultimately then go on to ruin a life he was happy with just to constantly risk getting into trouble. yongbin’s answer ? Because he’s Chaotic Neutral Thats Why

- socially, surprisingly unlike how most hackers are portrayed as nerds w sellotape on their glasses n a pocket protector ( he has a pocket protector but thats besides the point ) zero is outgoing in school and onwards, liked seeing what other people were interested in, pushing boundaries and keeping up with his friends just by listening and absorbing information.

- he isn’t exactly well liked, because his brain to mouth filter malfunctioned a lot of times which caused friction, But he definitely knows how to make and maintain friendships if you can handle him vanishing off the face of the earth and replying to your text from two weeks ago at 4 am like wyd

PERSONALITY

- zero’s life has mostly been not very fun, and he definitely realises this, but he’s not really the type to sit around and cry about it. mostly, he tries to take it with a stiff upper lip and a good sense of humour. he’s snarky and dry and enjoys getting into cyber-wars with other comp nerds in his limited friendship group. he definitely also enjoys sending lil viruses to other ppl in hearst just to let you know just how much your firewall sucks

- he’s got a real bad habit of getting wayyy in over his head with things. he’s like, a lil bit of a troublemaker — a back-talking, muttering under his breath, sneaking into places he shouldn’t, kind of troublemaker, but nothing too offensive. however, he sometimes gets into Actual Trouble because he makes the world’s worst choices and follows the world’s worst people’s advice. his personal motto is, “oh fuck. why?”

- he can be affectionate and immensely appreciative of anyone who’s genuinely kind toward him, even if his pride won’t let him come right out and say so. he’s p creative and resourceful — definitely can think you out of a pinch, even if he’s not so great at solving his own shit.

- friend wise, he’s attentive and thoughtful; sharp as a tack, funny as anything, and would totally rather help you out with your problems than get into deep discussions about his because opening that big ol book of issues is not gonna be fun for Anybody - romantically he’s inwardly pansexual for a long while but to people around him that probably.. wouldn’t be that big of a surprise. don’t talk to him about real love though he really is a computer machine with 0 emotions in that realm

tinie headcanon list because ive been slowly gathering them in my head for Days

- has a handful of piercings on his ears , but the one he’s known for most is his labret piercing

- has a chameleon called cookie and donates to a dog shelter wherein his favourite stray dog ( known as flash ) lives. and yes he’s naming them after computer terms. no he wont Reconsider

- proud owner of 1 terabyte of hentai stored on his external hard drive that he’d gladly d*e for n is not ashamed of it in the slightest this zone is kink shame free !!!!

- loves to go exploring around the grimier parts of the academy and places you rlly wouldn’t expect him to be to clear his mind. abandoned classrooms, warehouses, etc.

- talk to him about conspiracy theories about alien life forms for a friend

- has absolutely awful hand eye co-ordination despite it playing in to a big part of their training so just know he’s probably dying first, or just teach him to throw a punch and not somehow hurt himself ? Blease

- sticks his tongue out while he’s hacking or doing anything that requires concentration. can’t multi-task and will ignore everything in his general surroundings to give 110 percent to whatever he’s doing.

- is a scorpio so sorry u cant trust anything he says i dont make the rules the astrological gods do

that’s all i’ve got up to now and i hope this gives you a bit of background into what he’s about. i think i’ll finish here before i write more trash so [ hacker voice ] im out

#hearst.intro #now to completely revamp my theme bc its ugly #this is also embarrassingly long #hnyways #we in this bitch.. finna get crunk !

5 notes · View notes

kinetic-elaboration · 6 years

Text

February 5: Thoughts on The 100 2x03 Reapercussions

I am very tired and I should sleep but instead I’m going to bring my The 100 rewatch project out of hiatus yet again with Episode 2x03: Reapercussions.

I miss Anya so much!!!!! This is mostly my Dichen Lachman obsession showing but also the way she gives Clarke that ‘yeah, whatever’ look when Clarke says she’ll get her out of the cage... your Grounder fave could never.

The show honestly peaked with S2 and after this it should have abandoned all attempts at edginess because nothing will ever be more Pure Nightmare Fuel than the Mount Weather Grounder Cages.

Clarke/Anya: the ship that almost was.

So when Clarke takes Anya out of the prison room, she opens a door that says “End Containment Area” and underneath that it says “U.S. Department of Homeland Security, Mount Weather Containment Protocol.” And people really thought JRoth made this up omg learn some history.

Considering how they left things (Anya literally trying to kill her and all her friends) it’s actually pretty impressively selfless and magnanimous on Clarke’s part to not just rescue her, but immediately and unthinkably rescue her. On the other hand, Anya feels some remorse for leaving her people whereas Clarke’s like ‘here are some clothes [even though those random bandages are holding up pretty well??], let’s get a move on!’ (I know she intended to come back for them and she was being smart and practical but from the pov of, say, Jasper or Monty, this is cold as hell of her.)

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: early S2 Clarke is Peak Clarke: smart, sly, practical, brave.

Byrne mentions Earth Skills teacher “Davis” as being part of the search team for Bell et. al. My question: how many Earth Skills teachers did they have lol?

I fucking love this crashed-ship aesthetic omg I forget how much I love it and then I see it again....

“On the Ark, you did anything you wanted, without a second thought about the consequences.” Like mother, like daughter.

I ALSO miss Jasper and Maya. I’m probably like the lone person out there who still remembers them fondly but they were basically perfect because they were sweet but with the potential for a lot of darkness as well, my favorite combination.

WHERE’S MY ART SCHOOL JAYA AU?

So actually fun fact, that isn’t how the art work would have been stored in Mount Weather. They had special containers for the paintings to protect them and like a special cart thing to transport them quickly from their old homes to the bunker I read a book.

No one ever characterizes him this way sufficiently imo but Monty is really quite uptight in a way. Like first: don’t cockblock him man. And second: just chilll. This is probably why he used to smoke weed.

“Trouble? It’s Clarke. Whatever she’s up to, I’m sure she can handle it.” I mean.... he’s not wrong.

Except for the part where she’s covered in dead bodies. But even then...

So I always felt like the main point of the Reapers was as kind of a zombie police force for Mount Weather: to keep the Grounders scared of the Mountain, so they won’t poke around in it too much. Though of course they also collect Grounders, which is helpful, since the Mountain Men can’t walk that far from their home base (and, as stated, they probably want to keep most of that area Grounder-free anyway). But it occurs to me now that a third use of the Reapers is like dead-body collectors? The Mountain dumps the dead bodies out the trap door, and the Reapers take them away and eat them. So gross and efficient all at once. Mount Weather’s motto basically.

Murphy and his creating-a-distraction stones are still one of the funniest jokes this show has ever pulled, though if it were a quicker reveal after “something like that” it would be funnier.

Never mind, Bellamy appearing out of the bush is true underrated comedy gold,

That said, I feel like everything outside of the Mount Weather and Clarke stories here is filler.

Love! That! Ship!

Major Byrne says that Kane is on the verge of losing control of the camp but... I dunno.... everyone seems to be working together pretty well? Maybe if they had diversified the cast a little, not in terms of yet more Grounders but, like, non-leaders of the Ark, that would be more clear????

Okay, well, admittedly, when the Grounder prisoner is brought in they do start a mini-mob, lol. Also one of the delinquent’s fathers is shot, it would be cool if we knew who he was?? ETA: and then he dies and Abby’s like “does he have any family?” lol he just said that his son was one of the 100 so like obviously he does??

The costuming people, like the set people, really are the geniuses of this show. I love Clarke and Anya’s outfits, and Clarke’s hair somehow being both grungy and beautiful like THAT’s the apocalypse style I wanna see.

Also they absolutely 100% would have gotten together in the S2-S3 hiatus if Anya hadn’t been killed off.

“You saved my life because you needed me” IS true but she also did it absolutely without hesitation, even knowing Anya really quite truly hates her, so this speaks either to some foolhardy bravery mixed in with her practical thoughts, or just straight compassion, or both. I guess that sort of is a Clarke thing. She can be a grudge holder (seriously don’t tell me she isn’t: Wells????) but her grudges are NEVER more important than hard-nosed practical problem-solving.

Time for some gratuitous torture. Honestly, I like Season 2, it’s probably my favorite season, but it has some MAJOR filler problems. Like when it’s good it’s THE BEST but then other times it just doesn’t know how to fill 40 minutes so it resorts to pointless diversions (like Bellamy rappelling down the side of a mountain to save a character who is literally never seen again? for some reason?) or just straight out ugly violence for screaming’s sake (Raven’s surgery, Raven’s Grounder torture, Abby’s shocklashing, etc.) Like honestly I can’t even watch this. I’m just gonna browse tumblr until it’s done.

The Arkers really like the concept of “confessing” don’t they?

Like okay I’m not done WHAT IS THE POINT of this? It all but kills the whole Kabby vibe (I still lowkey ship them but sometimes I think...why?), it’s truly painful to watch, and it has no plot purpose AT ALL not even world-building because, lol, we know the writers don’t care to flesh out Camp Jaha in any real way.

Murphy is taking such sad glee out of instigating Finn’s madness/violence. The Luci of The 100 for sure.

This Bellamy story line is boring though I’m sorry. Some of these scenes (the Clarke or Mount Weather ones) I could watch a million times but this is like... kay, I know what happens already. So.

“There are some lines you can’t uncross.” I mean I think this show has actually shown that’s pretty untrue since people get over almost everything pretty fast. There’s always another horrific thing to do and/or experience!

Yeah my bitterness is seeping in.

Anyway when you come into an interrogation knowing what the “right” answer is, you’ll never learn anything, take note, stupid teenager boys + U.S. law enforcement.

Like honestly this Grounder is 500000x smarter than they are. He saves himself and rains gunfire and destruction upon his enemies. (Well, saves himself for a few minutes--but at least he got to cause harm to those he hates!)

“You thought I was the crazy one, huh?” Was Murphy ever crazy, though, or was he just coldly vengeful?

Speaking of coldly vengeful, Byrne could have been a potentially interesting character? Maybe? I’m not really into the type but as I said I want more Arkers wherever I can find them. And Kane needs real opposition. I have sympathy for him to a degree, but I also think he ultimately weakens rather than strengthens himself.

I love when Monty calls bullshit on stuff. “I can’t see Clarke? Try and fucking stop me, bitches.”

Jasper has such a big heart. Truly the emotional core of this friendship.

I like how Kane speaks as if his “diplomatic mission” of adults is so vastly different than Bellamy and Finn just going off on their own I mean, Byrne is little better than Finn? They’re both easily frustrated and fond of torture? It’s just that Byrne understands a chain of command--barely--that’s literally it.

How does it make literally any sense at all to shocklash a person one hour and make her the Chancellor the next? Like you’ve just encouraged the populace to think of her as nothing special, not above the embarrassing public application of extreme pain--but yes by all means expect them to fall into line behind her leadership. I mean I guess this sort of works if she was already somehow beloved (I guess I’m supposed to just believe that?) and now more sympathy has been generated for her--but such sympathy would seem to come at the expense of Kane. It would seem to be the opposite of what he, or really Byrne, was going for with that disgusting display. But whatever memory is a fiction I guess.

And they have this swelling-music romantic eye-fuck goodbye like??? He was just beating you!! JUST NOW!

What I’m getting out of Murphy advocating for killing the Grounder: first, he has a clear, cold, practicality not unlike Clarke, and two, he still thinks of the delinquents as his friends--how sweet. Two days ago he was killing them, holding them hostage, and stealing their ammo before a huge battle but still. Bygones.

This is not a great ep. for Bellamy leadership lol.

Finn executes a man, while wearing Clarke’s watch, in the place they had sex. Seems...symbolic?? IDK it’s late lol.

I miss Nyko a lot but also now that I’ve seen (part of) Slasher I’m not entirely sure I can ever see Ty Olsson in the same light.

Wouldn’t it be funny if they were literal brothers? Because I always assumed this was metaphorical but...was it? WAS IT?

Weird note to end on, I know. If patterns hold, it’ll be another 2-3 months before I do this again but I’ll try to be a little more on the ball about it.

#the year 2019 #2019: fandom thoughts #2019: the 100 s2 #the 100 #the 100 rewatch

2 notes · View notes

ganbaramen · 7 years

Text

Ultra Jump March 2018: 100 Questions for Ai Furihata [EN Translation]

Profile

Ai Furihata (voice of Ruby Kurosawa)

Nicknames: Furirin, Aiai, Shokunin [TL: Artisan]

Birthdate: February 19

Blood type: B

Hobby: Cameras

Skills: Illustration, photography

Major roles include:

TV Anime: "orange" (Saku), "Itsudatte Bokura no Koi wa 10 cm Datta."

Games: "Mahoutsukai to Kuroneko no Wiz" (Kaede), "Dare ga Tame no Alchemist" (Lisbeth)

Voice Comic: "Tottemo Yasashii Amae-chan!" (Amae)

Questions

What food do you like? Meat! Especially salted beef tongue!

What food do you dislike? None!

What snacks do you like? Calpico!

What do you enjoy most from your family's cooking? Karaage.

What color do you like? Pink.

What scents do you like? Ylang-ylang and the smell of the sun.

What season do you like? Autumn.

What's your favorite event of the year? My birthday!

What sports do you like watching? Basketball.

What sports do you like playing? Badminton.

What animal do you like? Pandas!

What animal do you resemble? A small animal...

Are you a dog person or a cat person? A dog person! I like a Shiba Inu and Pomeranian mix.

What manga do you like? Rumiko Takahashi's works.

What genres of manga do you like? Romantic comedy and slice of life.

What was the first manga you read? Ranma 1/2.

What was the first anime you watched? It might be Pokemon.

What film do you like? The Devil Wears Prada.

What artist do you like? Daichi Miura.

What songs do you listen to every day? Daichi Miura's songs.

What was the first CD you bought? One of Porno Graffiti's CDs.

What's your karaoke specialty? Something like Sayuri Ishikawa's “Amagi-goe”!

What's on your phone's lock screen? DiCaprio.

What brand of clothing do you often buy? I buy from second-hand clothing stores.

What’s your best outfit? Maybe a white one-piece dress.

What's your favorite place in your home? Perhaps my living room.

What do you want most right now? Free time.

What's certain to be in your bag? Taiwanese candy.

What have you been unintentionally collecting? Pink things and yumekawa things. [TL: yumekawa (ユメカワ) is a fairy tale-like style; literally "dreamy and cute"]

What do you treasure? Everyone ♡

What were you like as a kid? I was shy and didn't say much.

What did you treasure as a kid? A teddy bear that I'd had since I was a baby.

What did you dream of becoming as a kid? Being a veterinarian or mangaka.

Who’s someone you respect? My father.

Where would you go on a trip to? I want to go to space.

What country do you want to try going to? Europe! Particularly France!

Do you have any bad habits? Recently, I've been inadvertently touching my earlobe.

Do you have a catchphrase? Outlook on life has changed.

What's your charm point? The mole on my left ear! Don't miss it.

What's your strong point? I don't get angry very much.

What's your weak point? My thoughts sometimes slip out of my mouth.

What's your special skill? Drawing portraits.

What don't you like doing? Exercising.

What are you weakest against? I'm no good with ghosts or horror...

What about yourself do you want to improve? I should listen more carefully to what people say.

What can you confidently imitate? I think I'm good at imitating Ikue Ootani, who voiced Mitsuhiko from "Detective Conan" and Chopper in "One Piece".

What one thing could you live solely off of? My smartphone.

What's your current obsession? Collecting (aroma) diffusers.

What's a buzzword that you've been using? Enjoy!

What's your favorite motto? Have as much fun as you can!

How would you describe yourself in one word? Scatterbrained.

What do you unintentionally fuss over? I keep looking up references for Ruby's eyebrows! [TL: probably in the context of drawing them.]

Fill in the blank with something positive in "Actually, I/I'm ___". I care a lot for my younger sister.

Fill in the blank with something negative in "Actually, I/I'm ___". I'm very boyish and crude (laughs).

Anything but this! Don't call me tiny!

What do you want to disappear from the world? Conflict.

How do you kill time? Katamari Damacy.

How do you relieve stress and refresh yourself? I get Thai-style massages.

What app have you used a lot recently? Animal Crossing.

What do you always do after you wake up in the morning? Look at my phone.

What do you always do when you go to bed at night? Look at my phone! (laughs)

What do you do when riding a train? I keep a mask on, so since people can't see, I make weird faces (laughs).

Is there anything you do to maintain your health? A mask is indispensable.

What do you do on your days off? I go to clothing stores.

What do you do when you're alone? Reading magazines.

What do you do when you're out with friends? We go looking for Insta-worthy places.

Where do you want to go on a first date? A museum!

If you were to confess to someone, what kind of situation would you be in? I'd confess directly at my place!

If someone were to confess to you, what kind of situation would you like to be in? I'd want it to be really romantic, in a place with beautiful lighting ♡

What memories do you have of Valentine's Day? When I was in elementary school, I gave a boy I liked chocolates that my mother had incidentally made for me, and said that I made them myself.

What have you enjoyed recently? Meeting all our fans at the fan meetings!

What’s something sad that happened recently? I couldn't make a recording of the FNS Song Festival...

What funny thing has happened recently? Today, on the bus for our photoshoot, I heard a bird tweeting early in the morning, and I thought it was one of the staff's alarms. But when I asked whose it was, it turned out to be mine (laughs).

What do you want to erase from your past? The time I fell down while playing jump rope in 5th grade.

What moment made you think "It's a miracle!"? Meeting all my fans.

What moment made you think "I'm glad to be alive"? Seeing a sea of pink lights during a live.

What do you want to happen in the future? An Aqours worldwide tour!

What did you wish for that happened? Continuing as Aqours in season 2 of the Love Live! Sunshine!! anime.

What did you enjoy in 2017? The whole year was fun, but going to Los Angeles, perhaps.

What went wrong in 2017? On the last day of 2nd Live, during the MC after "SKY JOURNEY", I was explaining the dance move we called "Sky Walk". But I kept calling it "Aqours Walk", so I ended up doing a dogeza [TL: you may know the pose better as OTL] in front of everyone...

What do you aspire to do in 2018? I'll put all my strength into accomplish everything that falls onto my plate!

What would you do if you won 100 million yen in the lottery? I've been saving up to buy a house. If I had 100 million yen, I'd just buy one (laughs).

What would you do if you had a time machine? I'd go back to the past and practice my jump rope skills.

What would you do with your last day on Earth? I would be with my family.

What would you eat on your last day on Earth? Salted beef tongue, of course! I want to eat the things I like!

If you went to an uninhabited island and could only bring one thing, what would you bring? Everything you need for camping (laughs).

If you were reborn in another world, what would you want to become? A final boss. I want to be strong.

If you were reborn [in this world], what would you want to become? A sloth. I don't want to think about anything.

If you were reborn, would you want to be male or female? Male.

What challenge do you want to take on? I want try startling someone with a prank (laughs).

What's good about being a girl? Growing out your hair and trying different hairstyles with it.

If you were a guy, what would you want to try? Nanpa (laughs). I want to try seducing girls (laughs).

What role do you want to try taking in the future? Maybe an adult woman, someone stable.

What job would you want to do outside of voice acting? Something like dealing with second-hand clothes at a tailor's shop.

What has made you the happiest out of what people have said to you? That I seem like a type A person. [TL: probably blood type.]

Are there any secrets you've kept from the Aqours members? Nope! I'm very open! I have faith in everyone.

Where in Numazu would you want to visit again? I want to go to Marusan Bookstore with King (Kanako Takatsuki).

Praise yourself as highly as you can! You sure did your Rubesty, didn't you! ♪

What are your thoughts on today's photoshoot? It feels fresh to do a photoshoot in personal clothes, and I'm very happy that we could do it as CYaRon!. It's been a long time since I went to the aquarium, and that was a lot of fun!

Finally, a word for your fans! I'll keep doing my Rubesty as a member of Aqours. I really want to surprise everyone and show everyone a variety of sights. I'll continue to be in your care!

Happy birthday, Furirin! (Again.) I hope you’re having a wonderful time on your favorite day of the year.

Please consider buying the magazine! Along with the 100 questions feature, it has an interview and a photoshoot involving all three members of CYaRon!, featuring some wonderful photos. You can order it on Amazon Japan at https://www.amazon.co.jp/dp/B079NBWSZS.

Translation: @ganbaramen QC: @yujachachacha

#love live!#seiyuu #ai furihata #translation

251 notes · View notes

unfolded73 · 7 years

Text

It’s Chaos, Be Kind (1/1)

Summary: Post 7x08, Wish Hook and Henry (Captain Cobra v.2) have an evening out. 2700 words, Rated G.

The title of this fic is from Patton Oswalt’s Annihilation, and was apparently the motto of his late first wife. I don’t know how the concept ended up in this fic, but it did.

This fic is for @justanotherwannabeclassic , who wrote a prompt on her blog for something involving Henry getting to know this other version of Killian, and struggling with the fact that he’s a different man.

Taking a deep breath, Henry shifted the entrance flap aside and stepped into the tent. Hook was sitting up on the bed, looking a little less terrible than the last time Henry had seen him.

“Hey,” he said, consciously keeping his distance from the other man. It was still a strange experience, looking at Hook’s familiar face and having to remind himself that this wasn’t the man he knew. Maybe his experience with Regina dividing into two people should have prepared him for this, but that was different. Both versions of his mother had been exactly that: his mother. This man was still essentially a stranger. “How are you feeling?” Henry asked, clasping his hands behind his back to give them something to do.

“I’m all right, lad. Thank you.” With a visible effort, he pulled himself to his feet. “What can I do for you?”

“I was wondering if you wanted to… I mean, I know you don’t drink, but… I don’t know, go into town and… do something?” He shrugged, feeling all kinds of awkward.

Hook raised an eyebrow. “Do something?”

“Yeah. Find a tavern, get some decent food for a change.”

“Seems risky for you to show your face in town, Henry. Lady Tremaine’s soldiers are still looking for you.”

Henry pulled the hood of his cloak up to hide his face. “It’ll be fine. I’m sure you can find a place down by the docks frequented by people who’ll mind their own business, right?”

Hook chuckled. “Aye, I suppose I can.” He seemed to reach an internal conclusion and nodded. “All right, then. Let’s go.”

The ride to the shore via well-hidden forest trails was quiet, as the two men focused on their horses’ footing in the dim light of evening. Hook seemed to know exactly where to go once they arrived at the docks, not hesitating as he dismounted at the hitching post of what appeared to be the Platonic ideal of a seedy, dockside tavern. Henry followed his lead, hitching his horse to the post and tipping a few coppers to the boy who was charged with watching the patrons’ horses.

Keeping his hood up and head down as they walked in, Henry got the impression of a crowded, dank room that stank of stale beer and sweat and tallow candles. The wood under his feet was well worn, and he trained his eyes on the pointy-toed boots of the pirate in his company as he followed Hook to a table in a poorly lit corner of the room. Once seated, Henry took the chance to lower his hood, figuring that keeping his head covered would be more suspicious than just revealing his face. He’d have to hope that no one here was working for Lady Tremaine. By the looks of the dirty sailors who made up the clientele, that was a fairly safe bet.

A bored barmaid worked her way over to their table. Henry ordered an ale and a meat pie, hoping that the meat in it would be marginally edible. Hook ordered the same meat pie but asked for a cup of tea instead of ale. The barmaid gave him a confused look, but she sauntered off without a comment.

Henry suddenly felt guilty for bringing him here. “I’m sorry, Hook,” he said. “I probably should have come up with a better idea than bringing you to a booze-soaked tavern.”

Hook gave him a tight smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Don’t worry, lad, I won’t fall off the wagon just because another man is drinking in my line of sight.”

Not reassured, Henry shrugged. “Still. It’s too bad coffee shops and juice bars haven’t caught on here yet.” The confused frown that appeared on Hook’s face was terribly familiar, a look that his stepfather must’ve given him a thousand times over pop culture references that Killian didn’t understand. It made Henry’s heart constrict to see it. “Never mind,” he said quietly. “Anyway, thanks for coming with me, Hook. I felt like I needed some time away from the camp to think.”

“You can call me Killian,” Hook said. “If you prefer.”

Henry’s heart sank a little. “I… don’t know if I can, actually,” he replied with a wince. “After mom and… the other you got married, I mostly called him Killian. It’s just easier to call you something different. I hope that’s okay. If ‘Hook’ bothers you, I can--”

“No, it’s fine. I understand. I’m a poor substitute for your stepfather, I’m sure.”

“It’s not that,” Henry said, guilt making him want to sink into the floor.

Silence settled, and eventually, the barmaid appeared with their meat pies and drinks. Henry took a grateful pull from his ale, which was better than anything they had to drink back at the rebel camp. The meat pie, on the other hand…

“This is awful,” Hook said, appearing to struggle to swallow the bite he had taken.

“Yeah. Sorry. Wow, I’m just batting a thousand today.”

There was that confused look again. “Batting what?”

Henry again wished for the floor to open up underneath him. “Sorry. It doesn’t matter.”

“All right.”

“You probably regret coming on this adventure with me,” Henry said, grimacing. “I’m aware that Emma put you in a position where you couldn’t really say no.”

The confusion only deepened. “Are you joking? I got to see my daughter again. Even if it was only for a moment, I know now that she’s all right. I couldn’t be more grateful for that.”

Henry’s curiosity about Alice’s origins resurfaced. He settled back against the wall, keeping his face out of the lantern light. “So, you raised Alice alone?”

“Aye. Her mother… abandoned her. If I hadn’t been there for her, no one would have.” He took a sip of his tea. “Giving up my ship to stay behind with Alice when she was an infant was the only choice I could have made. I’ve never regretted it.”

Henry had pieced some of the story together, mostly from what Regina had told him when he and Ella returned from Wonderland. “And she couldn’t leave that tower? How did you manage it? How did you feed her and get clothes for her?”

Wiping his hand over his face, Hook hesitated before answering, and Henry wondered if his questions were too personal. “I made quick trips into town when I had to, although I was loathe to leave her alone. I paid some of the merchants to make deliveries when I could.” He shrugged. “I just… made do.”

Henry’s thoughts went to his stepfather, and how much he valued his relationships with so many people in Storybrooke, from Snow and David to Granny to their own version of Cinderella, and how he seemed to collect allies across the realms who found excuses to visit him or in Ariel’s case, call him on that ridiculous seashell. “That must have been very lonely.”

“It was, but what choice did I have? She’s my daughter,” he said as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

Henry gave him an affectionate smile. “Every version of you is a good father, I guess.”

Hook seemed surprised at that. “Do you think of him that way? As your father?”

Shrugging, Henry shifting in his seat. “I only knew my real dad for a short time before he died, while Killian was in my life from the time I was around twelve. And he was married to my mom -- my other mom, Emma,” he added unnecessarily, “for most of my teen years. So yeah, I guess I think of him as my dad more than I do my biological father by this point.” A thought struck him, and Henry set his ale down with a thunk. “You don’t know who my father was, do you?”

He got an impassive look from Hook in response. “Should I?”

“It was Baelfire. Milah’s son. Milah was my grandmother.”

The shock on the other man’s face was palpable. “My Milah?”

“Yeah. My mom met Baelfire -- he went by Neal at that time -- in the world without magic, which she ended up in because of Regina’s curse. She didn’t know who he was… well, she didn’t know who she was either since she’d been separated from her parents as a baby. It was only much later that she learned he was Rumpelstiltskin’s son.” Hook still looked shocked, and so Henry continued to ramble to fill the silence. “So, yeah, the other you ended up helping to raise Milah’s grandson, which is sort of poetic when you think about it.”

Hook cleared his throat. “Your family tree is complex.” His words were impassive, but Henry could still hear the emotion in his voice at the revelation of Henry’s parentage.

Laughing, he picked up his ale. “Yeah, no kidding.”

“And the other me… was a good father? Or, stepfather?”

“Oh yeah. I mean, we had some tough times, and I wasn’t always easy on him.” Henry grimaced. “Come to think of it, I could be a real asshole when I wanted to be.”

“That is the purview of teenagers, oftentimes,” Hook said.

“Yeah. But in spite of my attitude, he was… he was great. I was lucky to have him in my life. I’m not sure I appreciated it enough when I was growing up, but… now I miss him.” He looked down at his unappetizing dinner, pushing it away. “He was a good person to talk to, particularly when I was having romantic problems.”

Hook narrowed his eyes knowingly. “Is that the reason for this little outing tonight? Are you having romantic problems?”

“Not problems, just… there’s a lot happening, and I thought…” He sighed. “Killian used to know just what to say, and I thought maybe you…”

“Would prove to be an adequate substitute?”

“Okay, well, that makes it sound like I’m using you as some kind of surrogate father figure.” He put his head in his hands. “I’m still the same asshole kid, apparently.”

“You say that like I wouldn’t be honored to listen, Henry.”

Henry closed his eyes. He could almost imagine that it really was his stepfather he was talking to, even though their mannerisms and even their voices were not entirely identical. But this man wasn’t his stepfather, and he’d do well to remember that. They didn’t have the shared history that he had with his mother’s husband. Not only that, but this man’s timeline had diverged decades ago, and different experiences meant he was a different man. Just because they shared the same face and a lot of the same backstory didn’t mean the two Killian Joneses would have the same outlook on the world.

“Come on, lad, tell me what’s troubling you,” Hook said, tapping the table with a finger.

Henry took a deep breath and let it out. “It’s Ella.”

“Ah. Trouble in paradise?”

“No, that’s just it, things are good. Really good. I think… I think I’m falling in love with her.”

Hook raised an eyebrow at him. “So what’s the problem?”

“I grew up with all of these people around me who had these huge, epic love stories. My grandparents -- the other ones, Snow White and Prince Charming -- overcame multiple curses to be together. Emma and the other Killian… I mean, he literally died for her more than once! It’s a lot to live up to.”

“Aye, I imagine it would be.”

“So I left Storybrooke to find that. To find that kind of amazing, life-shattering true love. Sure, I told myself it was to have other kinds of adventures, to see the world and write about it: to find my story. But when I imagined my story, I always imagined myself with a partner. Someone I could maybe have a family with.”

“And perhaps now you’ve found her.”

“Yeah, but have I?” The strong ale on an empty stomach was making him feel a little bit drunk already. “There are so many realms, so many people.” He waved a hand in the air vaguely. “Could I really have found my soulmate, if there is such a thing?”

The exhale that Hook gave him in response was full of exasperation. “What exactly do you think is going to happen when you meet this person, Henry? Is a choir of angels going to come down and proclaim your true love from on high?”

“No, but--”

“I’ve spent a lot of time over the last few years thinking about fate. Apparently, a significant portion of my fate was in the hands of Regina and her bloody dark curse. She doesn’t cast the curse, and I wind up with my wonderful Alice. She does cast the curse, and I wind up in a strange realm married to the Savior.”

Henry blinked at him. “What’s your point?”

“My point is, all it took was one change in something that I had absolutely no control over, and I ended up living a completely different life. I fell in love -- true love, apparently -- with a woman who in the realm of the Wish, I barely crossed paths with. And my beloved Alice never even existed. My point is, it’s chaos. All of it.”

“Great,” Henry said sarcastically.

Hook leaned in, stabbing at the table with his index finger. “It’s chaos, so if you’ve met a woman you love, who makes you feel like if only you could kiss her you’d be able to conquer the world, then for fuck’s sake, don’t waste your life looking for something better. If she’ll allow it, hold onto her and don’t let go.” He leaned back on his seat again. “I only ever knew that kind of love with one woman. The fate of your stepfather tells me that perhaps someday I can know it again. But it’s beautiful and terrible and rare, and if you waste your bloody chance with Ella, then I’ll see you walk the plank.”

Henry gaped at him, and then he felt a laugh bubble up inappropriately. “What plank would that be?”

Hook rolled his eyes. “It’s a metaphorical plank.”

“Ah. I see. A metaphorical plank.”

“Were you this much of a pain the arse of your stepfather?” Hook asked, the pitch of his voice rising in indignation.

“Almost daily.” Henry scratched at the soft wood of the table next to where someone had carved their initials. Beautiful and terrible and rare, he thought, remembering the way Ella’s lips had felt against his. The way his heart tried to trip over itself anytime she passed in front of his field of vision. “Thank you. For listening, and… for being my friend.”

“Well, clearly you need someone to talk some sense into you occasionally.”

Henry grinned widely. “Clearly.”

Hook sighed and stood up, putting some coins on the table. “Shall we go back to the camp and see if we can scrounge up some decent food?”

“Yeah, we probably should.”

“Perhaps you should seek out your lady love and fall upon her mercy for a hot meal,” Hook said as they exited the tavern.

“Or perhaps I should do the opposite of that and invite her back to my tent for a late-evening meal,” Henry replied.

“Ah, you’re right, that is a better scheme,” Hook said.

Henry made his way over to his horse, patting its neck in greeting. “It’s not a scheme. I’m trying to be nice.”

Mounting his horse, Hook looked over at him. “Thank you for inviting me out, lad.”

“For inviting you to a place where you can’t drink the alcohol and the food is terrible? Yeah, real nice of me,” he muttered as he settled into the saddle of his own horse.

“For sharing a conversation with me, and for caring what I think. It was very kind of you.”

“Well,” Henry said, “someone tells me it’s all chaos. Is there anything else we can do but be kind to each other?”

Hook smiled. “No, I suppose there isn’t.”

#captain cobra v2 ff #wish hook #ouat s7 #ouat s7 ff #my fic

116 notes · View notes

forestwater87 · 7 years

Link

Chapter 3: Headbutts & Catnaps

Camper-counselor bonding happens in some pretty unique ways.

CW: use of the r-word in the beginning of the second section

"Sorry, nerd! Actually, I'm not sorry, and my sarcastic apology is meant to further annoy you. It's a quick and effective way to get attention."

Gwen sighed. "Nurf, get over here. And run."

She'd discovered after a few weeks that their resident bully tended to keep to himself when he had something to do. It was a combination of lack of attention, boredom, and pent-up aggression that seemed to cause the most trouble, and while David wasn't a huge fan of the solution she'd come up with —

The boy broke into a trot, lowering his head as he thundered past the other campers. Gwen crouched down and braced herself, closing her eyes.

"Grahh!" He collided into her with enough force to send her back a few feet, their heels kicking up a massive cloud of dust. She tossed her head, shaking him off, and they backed up without taking their eyes off each other.

— he had to admit it worked.

When she'd first tried this, it had taken nearly half an hour of head-butting to work out all of Nurf's energy to a point where he could pay attention and not bother the other campers; they'd worn deep grooves in the dirt with their heels, and David had been about to call her off when the kid had shrugged and returned to his station, keeping to himself for the rest of the day. Now it only took a few runs before he was calmer, and once he slowed down, his tail no longer flicking with agitation, she straightened and held up her hands in truce.

"Better?" she asked. He grunted and she shoved him toward where David was setting up for Scuba Camp. "Good. Back to it." Rubbing the base of her horns (it didn't hurt, but it gave her a strange jittery feeling) with one hand, she followed at a slower pace and joined David on the dock.

"He seems calmer," David hummed, glancing over at where Nurf was letting Preston lecture him about how to properly wear scuba gear without a single insult or threat. "Do you feel all right?"

"Yeah, yeah. It's what we do." She rapped her knuckles on her forehead. "Thick skulls, remember? We're not all delicate fluffy kitties like you. Speaking of —" She groaned, bending down and picking up another set of scuba gear, "I really can't talk you into doing this instead of me, huh?"

He swallowed, glancing from her face to the gear, then out to the lake. "I-I mean, I suppose I could . . ."

"Nah, I wouldn't do that to you." Cats and water, Jesus. "Just watch the kids, okay?" Neil and Max were the only two water-phobic kids, so David had planned an activity that would keep them dry while the rest of them tried not to drown in Lake Lilac.

"Can do!"

He was about to return to shore when she put a hand on his shoulder and added, "Don't try too hard, okay? You know it'll backfire."

"I know, Gwen," he said with a sigh, his shoulders drooping. "It's just so exciting . . ."

"Yeah, I know it is." David had been hoping for years to have another cat at the camp, so when Max's name and breed had first appeared on the camper applications he'd been ecstatic. Unfortunately, Max was . . . well, Max, and after two years of back-and-forth there were no signs of either his animosity or David's hopefulness letting up anytime soon. "But if he scratches you, I'm the one who has to deal with it, so think of me before you do something stupid."

"I will!" He leaned in to peck her on the cheek before freezing, his eyes widening. He quickly pulled back, dusting imaginary dirt off her shoulder with the fakest nonchalance she'd ever seen. "Take care, everyone!"

She ushered the kids to the end of the dock. "Come on, guys. Let's get this over with."

Gwen had never really considered herself the kind of person to have strong feelings about animals, pro or con. She'd never had pets, but she freaked out over an adorable panda video just like anyone else. Fairly neutral when it came to animals, full or hybrid.

The more time she spent at this camp, though, the more she started to think she was really not a cat person.

"The fuck is he?" she muttered to herself, shaking silly string out of her wool and pounding on her touchscreen. The phone rang a couple times, then an obnoxiously sunny voice rang out, "Campe diem! You've reached David Greenwood. I can't take your call right now . . ."

She was going to kill him.

Especially since . . . oh, fuck. "Where's Max?" she demanded, counting the campers again as though he might materialize if she tried hard enough.

Despite it being their first summer, Neil and Nikki had been here long enough to realize they were basically Max's keepers. It wasn't like he'd willingly spent time with anyone else at camp. Neil ruffled his feathers anxiously, glancing around like his friend might suddenly appear out of nowhere, and Nikki beamed at Gwen with teeth way too large and sharp for her age.

"Not trying to escape, that's for sure!"

Gwen immediately didn't believe that, but Neil jumped in: "Really, though. We haven't seen him since breakfast." He scratched at the ground with his talons. "I — think he said something about trying to learn David's secret?"

Nikki jumped in, her tail wagging. "That's right! He wants to figure out what makes him so happy all the time!" Dropping to the ground and scratching behind her ear, she added thoughtfully, "He said either there's something he's repressing or he's just retarded." She turned to Neil. "Hey, what's 'retarded' mean, anyway?"

He shook his head affectionately, patting her on the top of the head with one wing. "Nothing you need to worry about, Nik."

Well, that at least sounded vaguely plausible. And it'd kill two birds with one stone (no offense to Neil) if they were together. "Think you can sniff him out?"

"On it!" Nikki immediately took off, her nose to the ground, with Neil fluttering anxiously behind her.

"All right, guys. Keep . . . uh, doing whatever you're doing." She turned to the Quartermaster, who was hardly at his best during the day but better than nothing. "Can you make sure they don't kill anyone, QM?" The old man grunted, not opening his eyes. His wings were folded protectively around him, but at least he was upright; if she came back and he was hanging upside-down, they'd have a problem, but she figured he could probably stay awake for five minutes.

She turned and followed Neil and Nikki away from the activities field, half-expecting the trail to lead them into the woods or to where QM's bus was parked or something, but surprisingly they wove around to the area behind the camper's tents, a little grassy field where the kids sometimes spent their free hours. David was sprawled out snoring in a patch of sunlight on the road that curved around the field, one arm flung over his eyes and his ears twitching with the breeze. This was annoying but not entirely unexpected, and part of her was relieved to have confirmation that he slept at all.

The surprise was that Max was curled up in a tiny ball on David's chest, his head tucked under the counselor's chin. His tail flicked restlessly, but neither of them stirred as Nikki froze in a point about ten feet away.

Gwen rubbed her head as she passed, going up to the sleeping cats and crouching by David's shoulder. "Hey, chief?"

He stirred, rubbing his face and blinking up at her blearily. "Gwen?" He started to sit up on his elbows and went still, eyes widening as he realized Max was still asleep on him. "Oh my golly," he whispered, breaking into the brightest grin she'd seen all summer (which was saying something).

"Wanna actually help me run Stunting Camp, or should I just hope enough of the kids live that we'll have even teams for tomorrow's dodgeball game?"

David's eyes flicked from hers to the fluffy black ears twitching in his face. "Gwen, are you seeing this?" His voice was too awestruck to be sarcastic.

“I do. And if he wakes up and sees this he’ll probably kill you. Or himself. Or everyone in the camp so there are no witnesses.” He shot her a reproving look but carefully shifted the camper off his chest, settling him on the ground and springing to Gwen’s side with the reflexes she envied (and thought were totally wasted on someone that inherently awkward). “What happened?”

He shrugged, his cheeks flushing pink. “I went to make sure all the campers were awake, and it was so nice and warm I just had to sit down for a second, and . . . well . . .” He looked away self-consciously, bringing his fist to his mouth and running his tongue along his knuckles.

Gwen knocked the dirt off the back of his uniform and shook a leaf out of his hair. “You didn’t have to lay in the road,” she pointed out with a smirk. “There’s grass literally right there.”

David continued licking the back of his hand, still not meeting her eyes. “It’s not sunny over there.”

They were interrupted by Nikki, who’d apparently decided they weren’t going to wake Max soon enough and had jumped on him, sending up a cloud of dust that Neil and the counselors quickly stepped back from. “MORNING, SUNSHINE!”

“WHAT THE FUCK, NIKKI?! YOU COULDA KILLED ME!”

She groaned, rubbing her forehead. “He’s up,” she grumbled. “Energetic little shithead, huh?”

“That nap must’ve really been good for him!” David managed to keep the manic glee out of his voice, but it was a close thing.

“This is the best day of your life, isn’t it?”

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, his smile twitching. “Almost.”

The kids were still fighting; somehow a very-displeased Neil had been dragged into the fray and was trying to disentangle himself as fast as possible.

“Get off me!”

“But come onnnnn, we’re gonna do stunts today! Up n’ at ‘em and campe diem, Max!”

Gwen sighed. No one ever said dumb motto except occasionally Space Kid -- and, apparently now, Nikki.

David leaned in a bit, still watching the kids. “Okay, this is a pretty good day,” he admitted.

“No kidding.”

“Better than my 4th birthday.” When she looked at him questioningly, he chuckled and said, “My parents hired a clown. It was very exciting.”

She gave a small snort of disgust. “Of course you like clowns.”

“They’re so happy!” As the three kids collapsed in the grass, their energy suddenly spent in that little-kid way that reminded her of a battery suddenly dying, David raised his voice and called, “Come on, kiddos! We’re running a little late this morning, so we need to get a move on if we wanna have time for all of today’s activities!”

Max rolled his eyes, climbing to his feet and shuffling toward them with his hands in his inexplicably pristine hoodie. “Like any of us gives a shit about the activities.”

Nikki bounded after them, dragging a disheveled and squawking Neil behind her. “Betcha’d rather just take a nap with Daaaavid, huh?” she teased, elbowing him in the side.

“The fuck are you talking about? I was following him, and then . . .” He trailed off and his face turned red, visible even with his complexion. “Oh, fuck no.”

“Oh fuck yes!” Nikki crowed, scampering out of the way in case he tried to swipe at her. “You were sleeping on him like a baby kangaroo!”

Max seemed distracted by his dawning horror. “I . . . it was warm,” he muttered, more to himself than anyone else. “I wasn’t tired, but then . . . I was?”

David put a hand on the camper’s shoulder comfortingly. “It’s okay, Max! Cats need to rest a lot during the day, and it’s perfectly natural for kittens to cuddle up with their mother, so --”

“You're not my mother!” He jerked away, fluttering his arms like David was an annoying fly.

Gwen tried and failed to keep her face blank. “I mean, you’re the only cats around here for miles. And we have legal custody over you while you're at camp. So I guess for the summer he kinda is your mommy.”

“I hate all of you.” Grabbing Nikki by the wrist and snagging a handful of Neil’s wingfeathers, he dragged them ahead to the rest of the campers, growling threats about them not telling anyone about this.

She expected David to scold her for teasing Max, but when she looked over at him he was watching the kids walk away with his hands clasped at his chest and tears in his eyes. “Did you hear that, Gwen? He thinks of me as a mother!”

“You’re a guy, David.”

His expression didn’t change, and neither did the choked-up joy in his voice. “I don’t care!”

“Now is it the best day of your life?”

David paused, turning back to her. His expression softened, and he blinked away the mistiness in his eyes, taking advantage of their temporary solitude to kiss her on the nose. “Second-best.”

#campcamp #cc david #cc gwen #cc max #dadvid #gwenvid #momgwen #cc nurf #cc neil #cc nikki #this is dumb but i think it's cute #i can't help it #gwenvid are so smooth at hiding their relationship #it's so impressive

65 notes · View notes