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bbugyu · 4 years ago

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how seokmin knew

a journey with yoon jeonghan, lee seokmin, and you.

from the second seokmin first saw you, he thought you were far too good to be true, and he hadn't even gotten to learn the best parts of you yet.

prelude | part one | part two | part three | epilogue

wc.8888 | fluff, smut, courtship, oh jeez where do i even begin, the beginning i guess, polyamory, fem reader, musician!seokmin sugar daddy!jeonghan escort!reader, threesome, fingering, oral (everyone receiving), creampie, cumpla (like gunpla but with cum), (sorry), (but seriously lots of cumplay), overstim, switch!seok dom!han switch!reader, phone sex, snuck in a babygirl, hell yeah fighting for dominance, let's talk BOUNDARIES, hi mingyu, sorry but seokmin being a special guest is hot as hell, the required listening for the last scene is the album "new edition (1984)" by new edition (which is a real lp i own and listened to while writing it)

hELLOO!! welcome to my poly seokhan au! i have been neck deep in this universe for weeks now and i am finally releasing it in three parts! i will be posting today (obvi), tomorrow, and friday at noon pst, plus a little bonus epilogue whenever i finish it! today is all about seokmin and how he fell in love. i really poured a lot of myself into this one, between the poly reader and the obsession with architecture and the record collection (three fun facts about me, but you get no more context), so if you like it, please let me know! i did my best to portray the relationship as realistic and as healthy as possible❣️ also this series lowkey became a “how many cameos can i naturally squeeze in” kinda piece so if you spot one u should absolutely let me know hehe. and i edited my masterlist to accommodate for serial aus, let me know what you think!

please read the prelude linked in the contents of this post! it gives important context for the beginning of this part, establishes relationships, and sets the general mood 😏

seokmin lived a fairly simple life. he held private piano and guitar lessons in the comfort of his apartment, vaulted ceilings and tall windows helping to bring a bright, airy, studio environment during the day that he felt suited musical lessons perfectly - not the mention the lovely acoustics the tall room provided when he sang, belting out improv musical theater riffs as he scrambled eggs for a sandwich. he genuinely found joy and pride in helping adults and children alike train their hands to achieve new heights. he also did some contract vocal lessons at an entertainment company, stopping by the studio two or three times a week to train young new hopefuls in the music industry. he wondered how different his life would have been if he had taken their path, but he enjoyed the quiet downtime in his line of work, and wouldn't trade it for anything

his simple life. he drank tea in the mornings as the sun rose over the skyline, rode the subway with his guitar bag over his shoulder and his groceries in two overstuffed ecobags, and enjoyed his days off by relaxing in his home, scribbling down lyrics and compositions on the legal pad that never left the music shelf of his upright piano. the less simple part of his life could be described simply as you.

the second time he had been summoned to accompany you, he had been at home, heating up leftover takeout and mindlessly watching some drama on a saturday evening after having gotten lunch and playfully wasting the afternoon with a friend, when he received a phone call. he answered it without giving too much thought, expecting an invite for drinks, as was usually the case when he heard from jeonghan. he put it on speaker and set his phone on his kitchen counter, leaning against it as he ate.

"hello?"

"minnie!" he had said, the smile obvious in his voice. seokmin responded with a short greeting before jeonghan continued. "are you busy tonight?"

"just watching tv," seokmin said, spoonful of fried rice in his mouth. "why? you feeling lonely?"

"something like that," jeonghan said. the architect must have been in the car, he thought briefly, hearing the static noise of wheels on pavement in the background every time he spoke. "listen, you remember y/n, yeah?"

he nearly choked. "uh, yeah. of course. did you think i would forget?"

"not really," he said matter of factly. "we're currently heading home after that exhibit opening and she's been asking about you all day. any chance you can get to my place in half an hour?"

seokmin blinked, staring at nothing as he processed. "tonight?"

a laugh. "yeah, tonight. she's been really sweet lately, i thought you could be her treat."

her treat. "right now?"

"yes," jeonghan laughed again. "right now. if it helps the decision making process, i've had my hand between her legs this whole time and she gets needier every time you talk."

seokmin swallowed harshly, imagining you squirming in the passenger seat of the car, huffing and desperate, begging for him with jeonghan's fingers curled into you. he adjusted against the counter, his pants suddenly feeling slightly tighter. "i'll get a cab."

then he heard you, your signature whiny moan as jeonghan no doubt worked you into a mess despite his even tone as he spoke. "y'hear that, sweetheart? he said yes. i'll pay for the cab when we get there. see you soon?"

"yeah," he said, eyes still unfocused. "yeah, see you soon."

after jeonghan asked you to be an angel and hang up for him, seokmin stood and looked around at his leftover fried rice and the drama that continued playing, remnants of his simple life that he found plenty enjoyable and fulfilling on its own, but fell to the shadows as you came into the light.

the cab ride felt too fast, and jeonghan's car pulled into the driveway of his luxurious home only minutes after seokmin arrived. he emerged from the door of the cab and stood in the late november air as the other car parked, the passenger door swinging open in a hurry.

"seokmin!" you squealed, heels clicking against the drive as you ran up to him in a shoulderless, long sleeved jewel toned dress that was not at all suited for the current temperature. your arms wrapped around his neck and he laughed into the hug. "i missed you."

"it's practically snowing," he chided, pulling away to wrap his coat around you, and you happily fell into his chest. he didn't stop you when you pulled his face to yours, kissing him briefly but deeply. you tasted familiar, memories of eating you out entering his mind as he thought about how jeonghan had likely made you clean his hand in the car, and despite your forwardness and his generally shy nature, it wasn't the winter air that sent chills up your spine when he muttered "i missed you, too," against your lips.

"okay, kids, get inside while i pay the nice driver," jeonghan said, holding out your coat to seokmin. he took it, draping it over your bare shoulders. you grinned at him, working your fingers between his and leading him towards a side entrance of the home.

he felt a flash of embarrassment, wondering what the cab driver must have thought about the interaction he was witnessing, but seokmin figured that he had probably seen much stranger and decided to not worry about it, especially when you were regaling the events of the evening.

"they were playing classical," you groaned, punching in the door code with the hand that wasn't fiddling with his fingers. "from a cd. at a modern art exhibit. what part of that makes sense?"

seokmin laughed. "is that why you were thinking about me?"

you smiled as he followed you through the doorway, revealing a grand kitchen with a large island countertop. he had been here before, but on halloween, when it was full of life and the counter was covered in food. "jeonghan may have let me watch some videos," you said, and seokmin felt heat rising on his neck as he thought of you asking to learn more about him in his absence. you stepped out of your heels and walked towards the large fridge as you spoke, retrieving a water bottle. "that jazz piano number you did, jeonghan said it was at a bar? that would have been so much better, especially considering the artist's vision. his stuff was so full of life, i'm honestly surprised he allowed them to do anything other than live jazz - classical was too stuffy."

"it was a commentary," jeonghan reminded you, closing the door behind him as you offered a bottle to seokmin. "juxtaposition of traditional museum atmosphere with outlandish architecture and colorful, emotional art pieces," he said, sounding rehearsed. "the music was supposed to feel stuffy compared to the visuals."

"you guys worked too hard to settle for that," you shot back. you may have held a little resentment for the fact that jeonghan hadn't even asked for your opinion on the matter, considering you were less than a year away from a degree in musical theory. "if i hear clair de lune at one of these unveilings one more time, i'm gonna tear my fucking hair out."

seokmin laughed, but jeonghan only gave you a tired chuckle, and only after you quirked an eyebrow at him. he should have known you were only acting impressed at the exhibit because you wanted seokmin around. jeonghan could be cruel, but not so cruel as to invite a friend over to make his lady's night, only to deny everyone the pleasure after he already arrived, and this was a fact about him you were completely aware of. now was your chance to act out with little to no sacrifice - the most he would do is punish you in bed, and that, you were willing to handle.

jeonghan tsked when he saw your laptop and schoolwork spread across the kitchen island. "didn't i ask you to not do this?"

you eyed the counter, noting the teasing tone he took. "not do what?"

"leave your shit in the kitchen. you have a whole room to do schoolwork in, make a mess in there," he scolded, clicking his tongue as he flipped a textbook shut.

"i work better in bright, open spaces," you said quickly.

"i gave you a window to the sunroom."

"and i love it," you stated obviously. "and the desk you chose is nice, and the chair is super comfy, but it's still too dark in that room. it makes me want to fall asleep." you turned to the musician. "how have you been, seokmin? i haven't seen you in weeks, and jeonghan purposefully keeps secrets when you guys go out."

seokmin said close to nothing of substance as he said he was doing well and leaned against the kitchen island, focusing more on the way you shrugged the fuzzy coat off your shoulders and setting it in the counter to tuck your arms into his, wrapping them around his torso and resting your chin on his shoulder to give the man of the house a flirtatious look. jeonghan simply rolled his eyes at you with a faint smile on his face, taking off his own outer coat and going to hang it in a closet. you hummed as seokmin spoke about anything he could think of, smiling when you felt his gentle, hesitant fingers rubbing circles into the small of your back.

and that night, seokmin was perhaps too eager to secede control, allowing his friend to gently order the two of you to do whatever pleased him. currently, you were between his thighs as he laid out comfortably in jeonghan's bed, the architect fucking into you from behind as your voice went hoarse from sucking seokmin dry. his thick cock stretched your jaw to its breaking point, but your neediness for his cum on your tongue outweighed the soreness you knew you would feel the next day as you bobbed your head, your hands wrapped around what wouldn't fit. he choked, his fingers itching to reach out to you, but remembering jeonghan's firm words of no touching and gripping the sheets instead as he came into your mouth and you moaned around him. jeonghan had stopped you from swallowing completely, a hand around your throat as he pulled you against his chest, forcing your neck to crane around so he could share the treat. seokmin watched, hand involuntarily going to pump himself again despite the sensitivity, as his release dripped down both of your jaws between the feverish kisses. you whined, jeonghan continuing to thrust into you as he stole the gift seokmin gave you straight from your mouth, his fingers finding your clit, making your knees shake as he came in your pulsating cunt.

that was the first time in his life that seokmin had ever cum twice in one session, having been too turned on at the sight to even think about not having you ride his face, cum seeping out of your precious hole. too turned on by the way your fingers dug against his scalp and the way you tasted to even think about turning down jeonghan when he asked to touch him, groaning against your core as he slowly and teasingly jerked him off. too turned on by it all to even think about not cumming when he was told, fist clenching the now familiar sheets as you rolled off him, panting from the overstimulation. your face was wrecked, tearstained and flushed, as you collapsed into his side, wrapping your arms around his torso and burying your hot face in his neck, his own face not much better. jeonghan proudly announced he was off to take a shower, sucking a line of cum off his thumb before saying that you lovebirds were welcome to stay as long as you would like, fully expecting you two to continue without him as he walked to the bathroom.

seokmin felt shy, for some reason, despite having just having taken a shower with you, and just before, having had sex with you both. you had asked him if he wanted sweats or a shirt to sleep in, saying jeonghan wouldn't mind if he borrowed some. he turned you down, but watched you tug a far too large shirt over your otherwise bare form, and let you lead him back to bed.

"it's a custom mattress," you told him, giggling as you pulled him onto the oversized bed, kneeing yourself to the center and plopping down next to where jeonghan was wasting time on his phone. you planted a kiss on his cheek and he looked up to smile at you before you turned back to seokmin. he noticed the duvet changed, and he wondered if jeonghan had swapped it out after the mess they had made on it. you maneuvered yourself under the covers, gesturing for him to join you. "c'mon," you said. "we cuddle here."

seokmin had never even considered the idea of spending the night in bed with two other people, but found it surprisingly comfortable for it being his first time.

he did a lot of firsts with you, as it turned out.

you started to text him when you were alone and bored, which was something you and jeonghan had discussed with the strict understanding that you would have open and honest talks about it frequently, and that you would let him know any time you reached out to the musician. the first time he ever had phone sex, seokmin was busy at the company he did contract work for, and he had even told you so after the first suggestive text you sent him, but that didn't stop you from sending him increasingly dirty ideas and photos, making him silence his phone and shove it in his back pocket as he tried to focus on his students. when he finally slipped away to a private bathroom, he groaned at the way you looked, laid out on a plush couch and squeezing at your own breasts, with your back arching just so, and he quickly called you to ask if you were trying to get him fired.

"maybe if you get fired, you can come work with me," you whined, fingers already teasing your slick folds just at the low tone in seokmin's voice. his mind whirring as you gasped suddenly, revealing that you had already started. "jeonghan's been too busy for me this week, please don't tell me you are, too."

seokmin's eyes squeezed shut, back hitting the bathroom wall as he pulled himself out of his pants, trying not to drop his phone from his ear as he imagined how absolutely delightful you must look in that moment. "i'm never too busy for you, baby."

jeonghan took him out to dinner. it was normal, mostly, and not the first time since seokmin had seen his dick, but he noticed the older was acting slightly different as seokmin turned the meat on the grill.

"about y/n," he said finally, and seokmin fumbled with a chunk of pork before clearing his throat.

"yeah?"

jeonghan smiled. "she hasn't said it yet, but i think she really likes you."

that made seokmin freeze, suddenly thinking about how he was at dinner with his undefined sext buddy's long term partner. "really?" he squeaked out.

"listen, i want you to know," he said, picking off some cooked meat and chewing it casually. "whatever happens between you two, i'm okay with it. she promised to keep me in the loop, and i trust her."

seokmin nodded, putting down the tongs and grabbing his chopsticks, continuing to avoid eye contact. "okay."

jeonghan laughed. "stop acting like i'm her dad. you and i are in the same relationship with her at this point."

he swallowed, a smile creeping across his face. "well, she does call you daddy."

the next time he saw you, you came to him, appearing at his apartment one early tuesday evening as his last client was leaving. he greeted you casually, but still snuck a quick kiss on your lips as he let you in, his student packing up their guitar. he took your winter coat and told you to make yourself comfortable as they finished up, telling you where the restroom was if you needed it, but in a tone that made you think he was saying it more to announce to his student that you had never been there before than for your comfort, which pulled a quiet giggle from you as he quickly organized his loose leaf sheet music into their designated folders. you watched him from the piano bench as he made short conversation with his student, accepted a check, and bid the aspiring guitarist farewell, closing the door behind them. when you were finally alone, seokmin blushed at the realization that you had been smiling at him the entire time, thinking about how his client must have thought their teacher had gotten himself a cute girlfriend.

you were less forward this time. less needy. you flirted, but not in the outright ways you had every other time seokmin saw you. you stood and joined him by a bookshelf as he put away materials, asking him about his day (quite lovely, especially with this to look forward to), what he had eaten for lunch (he'd gotten ox tail soup delivered as a celebratory meal for a student that just had their first solo piano recital that weekend), and how he managed to command authority in all his students when he always looked so darn cute (he had pitched his eyebrows at you and went "yah," but was unable to keep a straight face long enough to argue with you). you smiled, taking a baseball off the bookshelf and turning it over in your hands, and asked why he invited you over. he cleared his throat, saying he thought it'd be nice to take you out on a proper date, but faltered when your shining eyes caught his.

"a proper date?" you asked, smiling slyly.

"i- uh, yeah, i mean-" he cleared his throat, hand finding the edge of a table as he tried to figure out what he was trying to say. "people generally treat you in exchange for your company, right?"

"generally," you agreed, focusing on his standup piano on the far wall as you thought. "i don't want you to, though."

“i didn’t mean-” he stretched his jaw - a nervous habit that you had begun to notice - as he readjusted his approach, not wanting to imply that he wanted your exchange to be purely transactional. "i just wanna take you out. for real."

you gave him a small smile, knowing what was the case despite your teasing. "okay. it's a date."

to change the subject from one that seokmin clearly didn't know how to continue - and besides, you weren't hungry enough for dinner yet - you returned the baseball to it's display and asked him how he taught his lessons. he laughed, not because your question was funny, but because he didn't know how to answer it in a way that didn't sound like a pitch to a potential client.

"then teach me like a client," you demanded playfully, skipping to sit at the piano bench and turning to grin at him.

seokmin took a moment to look at you, with a knit sweater tucked in the front of a pair of loose jeans - a far cry from the tight fitting, short dresses he normally saw you in - sat in his apartment as the last remnants of sunrays dipped behind the skyline. "you know how to play," he said finally, but walking over to join you anyways.

"teach me like i don't," you said as he sat beside you, scooting over slightly to accommodate. "i'm very good at acting incompetent."

he laughed again. "normally, people pay me for this kind of time, but i'll give you an intro. we'll start with hand placement," he said, gently putting his hands on the keys. "starting position is important, even though you'll be moving around the keys a lot when you actually play. your thumb," he said, wiggling his right thumb and smiling when you giggled. "it starts on c. that's your root."

"oh, right," you vocalised, placing your right hand similarly an octave up from his. "music has a bunch of letters, huh?"

"only the seven," he joked, pulling his hands off the keys as you comfortably set your fingers where they belonged, a motion you clearly made often. "wow, are you sure you're a beginner? you picked that up fast."

you knocked him with your shoulder, giggling. "quick, what do i do next?"

he smiled. "try pressing the keys in order. c to g, thumb to pinky. be firm, this isn't an electric keyboard. it can sense fear."

you sucked on your cheek, smiling at the way seokmin explained things as you played, but used your pinky to strike the black key instead of g, giggling at the flat note. "oh, that sounded wrong. this piano must be out of tune."

"stop," seokmin said teasingly. "beginners don't have that kind of pinky dexterity, by the way."

"maybe i'm a prodigy," you said, grabbing his sleeve with both hands excitedly. "you have to teach me, mr. lee! you're the only one that can help me hone my gift."

"stop it," he repeated, laughing, giving you a fake glare. he put his hands back on the keys. "lesson over."

you pouted, but it was short-lived as he began to play. you watched his hands effortlessly move over each other as you listened to the gentle flowing melody. despite being classically trained yourself, back when you were young and your parents felt you needed the discipline of regular lessons, you found yourself being impressed by his deft finger movements. your eyes shut, and you let your temple fall to his shoulder as you listened.

"yiruma," you said when he stopped playing despite the song not being over.

his arm went over your head, allowing you to lean into his chest as he planted his hand on the bench behind you, your eyes still shut. "you know your stuff."

"it's one of my favorites." you smiled, eyes fluttering open again. "you play well."

your breath stopped in your throat when you realized how close his face was to yours. "have to. people pay me to teach their kids."

"jeonghan pays me to be nice to him, doesn't mean i'm good at it."

seokmin couldn't help but laugh. "how did that even start, by the way? he would never tell me when i asked."

you sighed, straightening your posture. "i suppose you should know, considering this is becoming a regular thing."

"you don't have to if you don't want to," he assured quietly. you smiled at the thoughtfulness. "i'm just curious, is all."

"i don't mind," you said, shaking your head gently at him. you inhaled, organizing your thoughts - this wasn't a subject you explained very often. "i had a scholarship for the first two years of uni, but i would have to pay tuition afterwards, so i decided to become a paid escort to save for it." you paused to study seokmin's reaction, but for the first time from someone other than jeonghan, you found no creased brow, no vague frown. no judgement. "men would hire me through a broker to accompany them to dinner, go to parties, the general stuff. i even played golf a couple times - terribly, obviously, but rich men really enjoy teaching young pretty women how to play golf. i always got a cab ride home at the end of the night, though. never did anything more. jeonghan was one of my clients."

seokmin nodded. "how long did you do that for?"

despite how you would normally take that question, you knew he meant no shame in asking. "ten-ish months? jeonghan was only for the last month or so, though."

"before he asked you to quit?"

you laughed lightly. "actually, someone else asked me to quit. this guy that had been hiring me regularly for almost my entire career. he wanted me to date him properly. i think he wanted a trophy wife. he was young, like, only a few years older than me, and he was nice, y'know? a little awkward in the beginning, but paying someone to go out with you is always a little awkward, and we got comfortable with each other pretty fast. he wanted to take the next step with me, but he wanted the end goal to be marriage."

seokmin adjusted as he thought. "but you said no?"

"i said yes." his wide eyes made you laugh, but you understood his shock. "i was ready to quit anyways, i guess?" you shrugged, shaking your head. "i wanted to go on real dates instead of getting paid to eat with men my parents' age. yukwon felt realistic to me. someone i could see myself with." you sighed. "i went out with jeonghan during my last week of escorting. when i told him i was quitting, he asked me to choose him instead."

he watched you when you paused, pursing your lips. "and then you said no?"

you giggled, bumping against his chest as he laughed with you. "i tried! but jesus, when that guy gets an idea." you shook your head again. "he asked how much yukwon was paying me - which he wasn't, by the way. we were going to do it for real, even though he was still gonna support me financially and pay for my schooling. i was gonna sign a prenup and everything - but jeonghan kept saying he would double it. said i didn't have to marry him, and that he just wanted to keep spending time with me, and if i wanted to call it quits later, i could. no pressure, no sex, no commitment… he gave me a choice, and i realized i didn't love yukwon. i thought i could, but i didn't."

"so he saved you?"

"from a lifetime of settling? i guess so. he's funnier, too," you admitted sheepishly. "i always had the most fun on nights i was with jeonghan."

seokmin smiled. "he is good at lightening the mood."

"and," you said, eyes wide. "he didn't even want us to be exclusive, said i could keep escorting or go on dates with other guys if i wanted, as long as i promised to make time for him when he wanted me. it was kind of the perfect arrangement."

seokmin nodded again. "was, being the operative word?"

you laughed, remembering how well he knew jeonghan. "lasted less than a month. we spent too much time together, and i quickly realized that every time i went out with someone else, i wished i was with him. to be honest, when i met you, i thought this would be a one time thing, so i may have tried to make it seem a little less involved than it is." you sighed. "we never really defined what we were. i think we've both always known that he was more than a sugar daddy to me, but he does basically pay me so that i can keep my schedule open for him, so i guess it's easier to tell people that? instead of everyone assuming i'm some gold digger taking advantage of his money?" you shrugged. "i do love the guy. i'm about 94% sure he loves me, too."

that made him laugh. "how long have you been together?" he asked, trying to figure out the timeline in his head. he had known about jeonghan's relationship with you for quite some time, though not the exact nature of it, or that you were so fantastic, for the mass majority.

"about a year. right before halloween, actually," you said, smiling as you leaned into him. "you were technically an anniversary gift."

his lip quirked upwards, watching you. "was it a good gift?"

"the best," you whispered, placing a slow kiss on his lips. your hand went to his sharp jaw, and you sighed against him as the kiss deepened, suddenly feeling needier than you had previously.

"does he know you're here?" seokmin asked quietly, mind flashing back to when him and jeonghan had gotten dinner together. "like this, i mean."

you nodded slowly, a hand on the bench to steady you as you leaned into him further. "he's in japan this week, told me i could see you as often as i want. just asked that i call him when i can, we spoke this afternoon."

"promise?"

you giggled. "you act like i would risk it. i like you too much, and you know he would make us both regret it if i was seeing you behind his back."

he examined your face, a smile on his lips, knowing it wasn't the part of the statement that he was meant to focus on but unable to think of anything else. "i like you, too."

so he kissed you, sitting on the piano bench in his loft apartment, and despite it being nowhere near the first time, something about it felt special. new. different.

later, though much sooner than later would imply, when the two of you were unable to stop yourselves from undressing each other, he had you seated firmly in his lap on the couch in his living room. the way he filled you out made you incapable of doing much outside of digging your hands in his hair as he rolled his hips up into yours, rambling about how perfect you were. how well you took him. how he had never seen anything as breathtaking as the way your brows stitched together and your mouth hung open as he fucked you. you huffed, twisting your hips slightly, triggering a groan from you both.

"so beautiful," he muttered, hands on your bare hips, rubbing circles into the soft flesh above the bone. "fuck, you're incredible."

"shit, seokmin," you exhaled, forehead falling on his. you knew he wasn't even using all his length, but he was thrusting deep enough into you to make you see stars. "god, i'm close."

you watched his tongue dart out to wet his lips as he focused on you, pulling himself off the couch and sitting up straight as his hips steadily rolled into yours. "come on, babygirl. you know i love the way you feel."

you cursed, arms winding around his neck as you pressed your chest against his, desperately kissing him as you felt yourself falling over the sweet edge. he groaned when you squeezed at him, arms wrapped around your waist, fingers gripping any amount of you he could as he worked you through your bliss. he only slowed to gently put your back to the couch, your legs wrapped around his waist as he curled over you, arms under your body to pull you into his chest, and a hand at the base of your neck to hold you steady as he firmly fucked you into the cushion.

"fuck, baby, you're so good to me," he groaned, forehead pressed just under your jawline, his mouth latching onto your neck as soon as he managed the words. you were gasping for air, arms over his shoulders, wondering if seokmin always made love this deeply and genuinely, or if you were just special.

afterwards, he discarded the condom that he insisted on using (you asked what the point of you getting something shoved into your cervix was if you couldn't enjoy his particularly bountiful creampies with no consequence, but he said he was not getting cum on the couch his clients sit on), pulled his underwear back on, and returned to you quickly, kissing up your body after pulling your panties back over your hips. you ran your fingers through his messy hair, causing him to look up at you. he said sorry, a laugh on his lips, asking if you wanted to get food delivered instead of going out.

"that sounds perfect," you giggled. "don't apologize."

"i'll take you out for real this weekend, i promise," he said, sitting up and stretching out his shoulder. you watched, quietly admiring how gentle and soft he seemed, with surprisingly firm muscles hiding under his usual large sweaters and shirts. "and i'll pick you up so we don't get tempted. but for now, kimchi soup and bibimbap?"

you nodded excitedly, sitting up to wrap your arms around him and planting a kiss on his shoulder. "sounds delicious."

he tried not to get excited by your touch, thinking about how you had said this was becoming a regular thing, and therefore he didn't need to get as much of you as he could before you slipped through his fingers like he had the first few times you met. he couldn't help himself, though, when his eyes met yours and you smiled gently at him, and had no choice but to put an agonizingly slow kiss on your lips before he stood to announce he was changing into something comfortable if you were just going to stay in. you giggled and grabbed your sweater from where it got discarded, pulling it over your head as you told him there was no chance in hell you were putting jeans on again before the morning, and he smiled at the implication that you would be staying the night with him.

"i have lessons tomorrow," he reminded you softly as he gathered up his clothes and walked to the stairs. "if you'd like, you can stick around, but it'll be boring."

you hummed. "i don't have class, but i should do schoolwork," you mused, watching him walk up the steps to what you could assume was his lofted bedroom. "it's been lonely at the house, though."

"if you wanna bring your things here, you can," seokmin suggested, his voice projecting easily through the space. he pulled on a pair of shorts and a more casual shirt than the one he had been wearing for his work day. "it would give you something to do while i teach youths how to play chopsticks. do you stay at jeonghan's when he's not around, too?"

you laughed, thinking about your all but abandoned apartment as you meandered towards the stairs. "lately, yeah. i used to spend more nights at home than in his bed, but he gets really busy planning stuff in the winter and has less time to take me out." you stretched your back. "i think he likes knowing i'll be there when he gets home late. makes the day easier."

seokmin nodded as he came back down, running a hand through his hair, thinking that he, too, would find his days easier if it meant going to bed with you every night. "that's very kind of you."

"it's selfish, i promise." he laughed. "if you saw how tiny my place is, you would choose jeonghan's too. besides, i get cold in bed alone."

he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his chest. "is that why you're here?"

you giggled. "no, i'm here because you invited me over. but that might be a factor in why i'm staying," you teased, hugging him tightly.

the next day, you were sprawled on his bed, writing an accompanying essay for your composition project as he taught lessons down below, only emerging to refill your water glass and use the restroom as infrequently as possible, trying to not disturb his lessons. parents often accompanied the children, usually reading a book and listening to their child practice. a college friend of his stopped by, as he tried to do at least once a month, accompanying his niece, and seokmin recalled that he was the one that had given jeonghan his number again over a year ago, feeling like he should thank him but not knowing how.

"seokmin," you called down softly when you heard him chatting casually with his friend. you padded down the steps with your empty water glass, spotting the young girl at the kitchen table with a marker and a sheet of paper, smiling when you remembered her slightly clumsy, but surprisingly advanced keystrokes, considering her age.

"what's up?" seokmin asked, pushing off of the counter he was leaning against, and he ignored the quick, questioning nudge mingyu pushed into his side.

"hi, sorry," you said, waving lightly when you noticed the tall man beside him. "i was wondering - if you have time - if you could listen to my composition piece and tell me if you think it leans more romantic or more post-great war?"

seokmin nodded. "absolutely. do you need me now, or can it wait ten minutes?"

"it can wait," you assured, eyes darting between the two men. you lifted the glass in your hand. "i needed a break."

he smiled, taking your glass and moving to pull open the fridge. "this is mingyu, by the way. mingyu, y/n. he's an architect, also."

"also?" mingyu asked, eyeing you. seokmin stared at you, realizing what he said.

your brows ruffled as you studied the tall man's face, not recognizing it. "we must not be in the same social group. i'm a friend of jeonghan's."

he gave you silent thanks for keeping the relationship ambiguous. mingyu, however, nearly yelled. "yoon jeonghan?" he laughed. "you know, i didn't even see that guy at his own halloween party. you still keep in touch, i assume, seokmin?"

he nodded, putting your filled water glass on the counter beside you, and you wondered how you never saw mingyu at the party, either. "yeah, we hang out fairly often."

"he introduced us," you interjected. mingyu smiled between you two. "thought we'd match well, i guess."

"well, you just asked a music teacher to review your composition, so," mingyu laughed. "he was right?"

seokmin studied you with a crooked smile on his lips. "have you ever known yoon jeonghan to be wrong?"

you stayed another, more innocent night, but when seokmin woke the next morning, his face was pressed against the side of you neck, and you were pushing your ass back against his morning wood.

"fuck, good morning," seokmin groaned, hands gripping at your hips where they had already been aimlessly floating.

"oh, thank god you're awake," you panted out. you spun in his grasp, pushing his shoulder back on the bed and climbing atop him. "you must have been having a fantastic dream, because you would not stop touching me."

he couldn't help the whine in his throat, mostly from embarrassment. "i'm so sorry."

"don't be," you rushed out, peeling off your shirt. "i just need you now."

considering this was his third time seeing it, he didn't think he would be so awestruck still, but the snapshot of you, topless, seated on his lap with your hands on his chest was a view that seokmin would likely never get over, because it felt like he was the dorky, awkward protagonist and you were the long-shot love interest that was way too cool and way too hot for him in this cliché coming of age comedy.

you kissed him, and he pushed your hips down to grind against his lap, pulling a gasp from your lips. he took the opportunity to bring a hand to your neck, pulling you into open mouth kisses. you moaned without shame as you rolled your hips.

"you know what jeonghan told me?" you asked, pulling back to tug his underwear just far enough down to release the member you couldn't stop thinking about.

you straddled his lap, hands on your thighs. seokmin pushed his bare cock against your core, the wet fabric sticking lightly to his length. "what, baby?"

"he told me he wanted you to plug me up," you breathed, biting your lip when seokmin used a thumb to pull aside your underwear and drag your wetness across his dick. you moaned. "he wanted you to fuck me senseless and tell him all about it."

seokmin groaned, neck stretching out. "i can do that."

"no, baby," you said, bringing his free hand to your face and putting a kiss in his palm before you lifted yourself up, his thumb still hooked on your panties as you rubbed the head of his cock through your folds. "i wanna fuck you."

you sunk down onto him, jaw dropping. he smiled lightly, running his hands down your thighs. "i'll let you if you can."

your toes clenched, and you tried to maintain face. "i can."

seokmin folded his arms under his head, trying to avoid the temptation of fucking up into your warmth. he sighed, breathing out a "go on, then."

you put your hands on his chest and bounced on him several times, biting at your lip at how wide he stretched you out, but taking too much pride in the way his eyes hung half lidded and his breathy groaning to stop.

your hands went to his neck, leaning forward, lifting his head slightly off the pillow to kiss him, his hands falling from behind his head to hold yours, stopping you from pulling away.

he moaned into your open mouth, and you backed up for only a second to blearily meet his eyes as he panted. "baby."

you nodded, stealing a few more messy kisses. "yes?"

he groaned again, your hips twisting over his. "you're like a dream."

you could feel the heat radiating off your neck and cheeks, but you just pushed on his chest to sit upright, hands landing on his thighs. you moaned again, unapologetically, as you rotated your hips over his, and he bucked into you at the angle change. "if this is the dream, please don't wake up."

seokmin had a sneaking suspicion that he was in love with you, or at the very least falling towards it. the confirmation of this fact threw itself in his face, not when you proved that you could fuck him, sitting deeply on him to push his cum further in, or when you squealed and giggled as he threw your back onto the bed so that he could pull your underwear off proper and bury his tongue in your heat, but afterwards, when he wandered into the kitchen after using the restroom and found you wearing one of his shirts, waiting as his electric kettle bubbled to life, his favorite blue mug on the counter beside a white one - the white one, he realized, with the finger heart design that he had chosen for your coffee the day prior. and he told you so, rushing to explain himself and assure you that you didn’t have to say it back, but you just hushed him and smiled, saying that you loved him too.

seokmin had to go to the entertainment company that afternoon. you walked with him to the station near his apartment and he sat you in a cab, a kiss on your lips, before he hurried down to catch his ride to work. he breathed heavily when he could finally lean against a wall in the train, having to run to catch it before the doors closed.

seokmin❣️: almost didn't make the train 🙃

you: but you did!!! proud of you 👍

seokmin❣️: thanks 🥴💕

you were both smiling after that.

he took you out to eat that weekend, as promised, and you had honestly forgotten what it was like to date people that weren't jeonghan. you liked riding the subway with him (you couldn't even remember the last time you took it), and you thought it was cute that he let you stand against a wall to keep easy balance as he stood in front of you. you were slightly impressed that he barely rocked with the movement, only grabbing an overhead loop when the train was pulling into a station.

"wait, you're especially pretty right now," he said suddenly, leaning forward to inspect your eyes.

your head hit the wall gently in reaction, flushing at his comment, wanting to bury your face in your scarf. "thank you."

he gave you his signature crooked smile. "of course."

it was cold out, but seokmin wrapped his hand over yours, shoving the whole ordeal into his coat pocket as he walked you down the street towards the restaurant he had picked. you giggled, squeezing his hand in his pocket, but he just continued telling you about which of the trainees he was working with seemed like they would debut.

"jiyoon composes, too! i'm really impressed with her actually," he said, trailing off when he saw the sign for the restaurant. "ah, here it is."

you thanked him when he held the door open for you, and you were immediately struck with the smell of tomato, cheese, and bread.

"i haven't had pizza in ages," you said excitedly, following him to a table.

"don't tell me," seokmin said, helping you take off your jacket and hanging it on a hook at the end of the booth. "you guys don't order pizza?"

you shook your head, sliding into the booth comfortably. "not often. jeonghan likes asian food."

seokmin froze as he was pulling off his jacket to stare at you. "what about you?"

"i like eating."

he laughed. "well, i like pizza."

after dinner, you insisted he come back to the house with you. he said he didn't know, thinking that you would probably need your energy for when jeonghan got home the next day. you pouted, knitting your fingers with his as the two of you stood on the sidewalk outside the pizza place.

"but i really wanna show you my record collection," you said, batting your eyelashes at him.

that was all it took.

you discovered that there was a bus stop near jeonghan's home, and while you would likely never take a bus without seokmin, you thought it was a good nugget of information to tuck away as you marched through the front door of the estate you practically called home.

"welcome to yoon manor," you joked, spinning to smile at seokmin.

he looked around, and despite having been here before, it felt grander coming through the main entrance and without the distraction of party guests. he had seen it empty briefly, from a different angle, when you were pulling him up to your bed a few weeks prior, but he realized he hadn't actually been able to see much when you were the focus of his attention.

"the kitchen's that way, there's a bathroom," you said, pointing at the opening past the stairs as you pulled off your scarf. you folded it over your arm as you walked further into the home, seokmin following you closely. you walked past a partial wall, pointing further down the hall that held the secondary living space that he originally met you in. "there's a bathroom to the left there, and if you go to the end of the hall there's an open sunroom."

seokmin looked around the room you stood in, recognizing it in bits and pieces, but it looking much different without a crowd and flashing lights.

"and this is the living room," you said, spreading your arms as you spun to him. "tv, couch, bar, and most importantly," you giggled, tugging him towards the far wall of the room, which was covered in deep toned shelving, speakers, and a record player. "my record collection."

you took off your jacket as seokmin looked around in awe, noticing you had select autographed records displayed alone on picture ledges with spotlights pointed at them. one picture ledge was empty, centered just above the player. you tossed your coat into the couch, pulling seokmin's off his shoulders as well, despite his distraction.

"these are all yours?" he asked, turning to look at you after you had discarded the coats.

you nodded, spinning the felt of the record player mindlessly as you looked around. "i actually had started a collection years ago, but i couldn't make an excuse to spend the money on it very often. jeonghan gave me a pretty good excuse. also, whenever he pissed me off, he knew he could take me to a record shop and i would forgive him."

seokmin laughed. "does that happen a lot?"

"not as often as you'd think, considering what an ass he is," you teased. you gestured to the collection. "this is my baby, though. the house is his, but this wall is mine."

"well, play me a record," seokmin requested plainly, making you smile into a laugh.

"okay," you said, scooting past him to pull out one of the many cube drawers amidst the shelving. you flipped through a few. "dancing music?"

seokmin watched your hands, humming. "slow dancing, but, like, in a nostalgic discoteque."

you thought for a second, then closed the drawer to move to a different one, quickly flipping through and finding the record you wanted. you pulled the lp out, putting the bright blue sleeve with five smiling men on the empty picture ledge.

seokmin wrapped his arms around you as you set the record, striking the play button and enjoying the whirring as the lp spun, the needle connecting and the speakers scratching to life. you spun in his grip, laying your arms over his shoulders as he pulled you away from the record stand, into a more open space to playfully dance to the soulful bass lines and pop melodies of new edition.

"this house is insane, right?" seokmin asked, squinting at you as you laughed and nodded.

"it really is. the craziest part is he's still working on it."

"really?" seokmin looked around. "what else could he wanna change?"

you let your eyes wander. "i think it's a work in progress for him. the sunroom was brand new when we met, and he added this record display last winter, when i told him i always wanted to collect. the bar is new," you pointed. "he finished that in october. the kitchen was a summer project."

he blinked heavily, trying to register. "does he do all the work himself?"

"his team helps him," you explained. "he has a few contractors he works with and they manage the construction projects, but every once in a while i wake up on a sunday and he's cutting wood in the garage because he got an idea. he drafts all the changes, usually participates in the build, and picks most of the furniture, but he has people to collect the options for him."

"and he also does all that for other people, too?" you nodded, giggling. "and has time to take you to events almost every weekend?"

"i know. i didn't understand how he found the time until i realized that he just gets paid to do his hobby."

seokmin nodded. "me too, i guess."

you grinned. "me three. you should stay with us more," you suggested, rocking with him gently. "he'll be late tomorrow, but he's working from home this week…"

"hush," seokmin chuckled. "i have to work. besides, i'm sure he wants you alone after letting me claim you while he’s been gone."

"about that," you said, pulling away slightly to give him a cheeky smile. "i haven't gotten him to admit it yet, but i think jeonghan has a crush on you."

seokmin choked out a laugh. "what? me?"

"seokmin," you started, giving him a look. "he wanted you to join us for sex. more than once."

"okay," he scoffed lightly. "people have sex just for the sex sometimes," he pointed out, but in a tone that had no chance at convincing anyone.

"sure," you giggled. "but think about it. he kept me to himself all this time, and suddenly he's encouraging us to see each other without him? asking me about everything we do together..."

he swallowed. "everything?"

"everything," you breathed, eyes trained on his lips. "he knows i'll always go back to him, and i think he's hoping i'll bring you with me."

he blinked at you, processing. "is that what you're doing? bringing me back to him?"

"only if that's something you're interested in," you stated, cocking your head.

"him, you mean?"

you thought a second. "yes?"

you watched him blink repeatedly, seemingly considering the concept. he thought back to all the nights that became early mornings, laughing and joking with the architect since before he had even an ounce of notoriety. he thought of how jeonghan had reached out to him again a few long years later, and the way he had insisted on paying every time they got food. he wondered if there had been something happening that he hadn't noticed, his oblivious nature getting the best of him again. he thought about when things changed, when they met less often and jeonghan seemed quieter around him. and months later, when he started mentioning you.

"maybe," he said finally, mind whirling. "i don't know, i've never thought about it."

you nodded, putting your arms over his shoulders and swaying lightly to the music. "take your time," you said, smiling when his forehead pressed against yours. "we'll wait for you."

#this is my life's thesis #seventeen fluff #seventeen imagines #seventeen smut #seventeen scenarios #jeonghan fluff #jeonghan imagines #dokyeom fluff #dokyeom imagines #jeonghan smut #dokyeom smut #poly seokhan au #i wrote dis #hannie #sunshine #i love this one yall #my magnum opus #i cant wait to post the rest <3

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nefariouscryptid · 3 years ago

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I still have your two-part "meet the artist" image from a year ago, haha! "Trailer Trash aesthetic", horror, True Crime, Nu Metal, 90's Hip-Hop, Punks plus the books, games... Buut, why yes I wish to know more as an author figure sooo I dare you to go through all the points of "get to know your author"!

Thank you for reminding me that I gotta remake my meet the artist!

And hoooh boy here we go

1) is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

Yes I have some ideas on something new I want to work on, mainly because it’s hard to get started completely from scratch. I’ve worked on Durante for over 2 years so the idea of starting new with something else is kinda nerve wracking

2) what work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?

Most of my old art I’ve deleted cause I don’t want to look at it and I deleted one story I posted on ao3 cause I hated it lol

3) what order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

I started durante with favorite scenes first and filled in the blanks to make it work however I don’t recommend you do that.

4) favorite character you’ve written?

Ah geez, probably Peter? I also really enjoy Morgan and Brenda.

5) character you were most surprised to end up writing

Probably Jackie since I had her for so long but never thought I would actually end up using her.

6) something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change now

Anahii if I’m being honest. I wouldn’t have her exist, but it’s too late now

7) when asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?

Embarrassed asf lol

8) favorite genre to write

I like action, crime, and psychological horror

9) what, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

I watch shows and movies, but I mainly look at real life and experiences i or others had.

10) write in silence or with background noise? with people or alone?

For writing silence for art something’s gotta play.

11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?

Probably just general flow. I don’t write fics often enough to tell

12) your weaknesses as an author

A lot of characters personalities are the same I think

13) your strengths as an author

I’ve been told my characters feel like they genuinely exist which I’m very proud of

14) do you make playlists for your current wips?

No but I’ve made oc playlists before

15) why did you start writing?

My sophomore year of high school is when I took it seriously

16) are there any characters who haunt you?

Not that I can think of but sometimes I remember how truly horrible Ivan is.

17) if you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?

Consume more media and life, it’ll be good inspiration. Don’t be afraid to change things

18) were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?

Funnily enough I can’t think of any but I know there’s some. I’ll get back to you on that.

19) when it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?

I write them in my notes or keep them on tumblr. Gotta write them down.

20) do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts?

Depends.

21) what do you think when you read over your older work?

I think I’ll be proud of what I’ve made since I’m still young. I hope that If durante doesn’t take off it was a stepping stone to what will

22) are there any subjects that make you uncomfortable to write?

Nope

23) any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?

Many many, especially the people that I’ve met before. Too much to recall though

24) have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?

Yes! I’ve dug heavily into conspiracy theories and true crime stories as well as unclassified documents ect.

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of

Sadly I don’t have any but here’s a decent one

“Pulling away he kissed Cassandra, running a hand through her hair gently, then kneeling down to kiss her stomach, thinking about his child, silently apologizing, hoping whatever god that may exist out there hears his near paralyzing remorse.”

#alex banters #asks #ask meme #my ocs

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rhosyn-du · 4 years ago

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Title: A Wonderful Institution Artist: @bidnezz Pairings: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, various background pairings Word Count: ~53k Warnings: graphic depictions of violence, discrimination against Downworlders, reference to rape, Clave-typical homophobia, implied character death, minor character death Summary: Magnus doesn’t have time for this bullshit. Warlocks are disappearing in New York City—five people in less than three months—and Magnus is determined to find them and protect the rest of his people from whatever took them. He doesn’t have time for politics, and he certainly doesn’t have time for whatever nonsense the Clave is proposing about marrying a Shadowhunter to a Downworlder as part of the new Accords. He doesn’t really have time for a pretty Shadowhunter who’s surprisingly kind to warlock children, either, but, well, he’s always been good at multitasking.

Alec always knew he couldn’t have what he wanted, but he’s spent the nearly four years since the newly-appointed Consul recalled his parents to Idris without explanation making the best of what he can have. When life suddenly offers up almost everything Alec actually wants on a silver platter, he can’t quite bring himself to trust it, especially when it comes with a million caveats and a side of impending disaster. But he knows how to handle disasters, even if the return of the Circle on top of Clave secrets that could destroy the Accords is way beyond the disasters he’s used to fielding. Hope, on the other hand? He doesn’t know what to do with that.

This fic was created for the @malecdiscordserver Mini Bang 2020.

Chapter Five

To say that Magnus was surprised to get a phone call from Alec would be an understatement, but he wasn’t about to question it when he’d been trying to think of a way to approach the man anyway. So when Alec suggested that it might be a good idea for them to meet in an informal setting, Magnus said he was free now and invited him over to the loft, grateful that he didn’t have the hangover he’d initially been expecting to have this morning, although he was still more than a little bitter about the reasons for that.

He hadn’t even gotten the information he needed from Camille, since his plans to see her had been interrupted by a call from the bouncer at Pandemonium saying that he’d spotted two Circle members at the club. He’d ejected them immediately, with what sounded like help from no few of the patrons, but Magnus went to check things out anyway. If nothing else, seeing that he took this matter seriously would reassure the Downworlders who frequented his club that he took their safety seriously.

As Magnus flipped through his closet, he mentally reviewed what he planned to say to Alexander. Circumstances had changed, but the basic plan was the same: convince Alec that political marriages in general, and this one in particular, were a terrible idea, and then somehow segue into convincing Alec to go out on a date with him immediately after convincing Alec not to marry him, and, you know, this plan was really a lot better when Magnus was convinced the Clave would never approve of Alec marrying him.

Okay. New plan. Convince Alec that he didn’t actually want to be involved in this ridiculous Accords marriage and save everything else for another day. Magnus let out a frustrated breath. It would have to do.

Addendum to the plan, he thought as his hand stopped on a favorite deep plum button-down. Look amazing while executing the plan.

By the time Alec arrived, Magnus was a bundle of nerves. He did, however, look amazing, if he said so himself. Alec seemed to agree, if the way his eyes briefly trailed over the open V of Magnus’s shirt when he opened the door were anything to go by.

“Hello, Alexander,” Magnus said.

Alec’s eyes snapped to Magnus’s face, a hint of surprise in them, as though they’d strayed southward without his knowledge or permission. It was more than a little charming, and Magnus had to remind himself why he’d invited Alec over.

“Thanks for agreeing to see me,” Alec said as Magnus led him into the loft.

“Of course,” Magnus answered. “I have to admit I’m having trouble thinking of a circumstance in which I wouldn’t want to see you,” he couldn’t help adding, and then immediately wished he could take it back. This meeting was for executing the plan, not flirting. No matter how much he liked Alec’s little almost-smile when he did.

“I was just about to mix myself a drink,” Magnus said. “Can I offer you anything?”

“Um, sure,” Alec said. “I’ll have…whatever you’re having?”

Magnus turned to his dry bar and quickly mixed up a couple of lemon drops. It wasn’t what he’d normally drink, but it should be easy enough on the palate of someone who didn’t even have a usual cocktail order.

When Magnus turned back around, Alec was still standing awkwardly in the entrance to the living room. Magnus walked over and handed him his drink.

“To us,” Magnus said, and dammit, he was just unbelievably bad at this whole not flirting with Alec thing.

Alec clinked his glass against Magnus’s and took a sip from his drink. His resulting wince had Magnus reconsidering his stance on lemon drops as a suitable drink for people who don’t normally indulge.

“Why don’t we sit down,” Magnus suggested, leading the way further into the room.

He briefly debated sitting on one end of the couch but decided that would be a bit too intimate for the conversation he wanted to have if Alec took the other end. Instead, he settled in a red velvet armchair that was a wonderful contrast to his shirt.

Alec perched on the edge of the other armchair, looking for all the world like he might bolt for the door at any minute. He took a long sip from his drink, wincing again but looking far more determined after.

“I thought it might be a good idea,” Alec began, “for us to discuss our plans and, um, expectations. For after the wedding.”

And Magnus couldn’t help himself. It was just too good an opening. “Well, I’m not planning to ravish you on our wedding night, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“No! That’s not—” Alec spluttered. “I didn’t mean to— I don’t think you—”

“Unless you ask nicely, of course,” Magnus added smoothly, with an exaggerated eyebrow waggle.

The tension in Alec’s body drained away as he rolled his eyes in a way Magnus might almost have called fond.

“I meant,” Alec said, sounding genuinely at ease for the first time since he’d entered the loft, “that we should discuss our expectations for how we intend to present ourselves as a married couple and our plans for leveraging that to support the Accords and improve the relationship between Shadowhunters and Downworlders.”

Magnus froze, drink an inch from his lips. Of all the possibilities he’d been anticipating, the idea that Alexander might actually believe this marriage could be some kind of real benefit to relations between the Clave and the Downworld was not among them. He took a careful sip of his drink, letting the sour-sweetness roll over his tongue while he reassessed all of his earlier assumptions.

“To be honest, Alexander, my expectations in that regard are that we will be very lucky if the Clave's insistence on marrying two strangers together as a symbol of the integrity of the Accords doesn't result in all-out war.”

Alec frowned. “But we aren't strangers. I don't know you well, but I know that we fight well together and I—I like you, and that’s more than I can say for a lot of people. And we have the chance to do something here, something real. You're the High Warlock of Brooklyn and my parents might officially run the Institute, but I'm Acting Head and actually run it for all practical purposes. We can use those positions to our advantage and maybe really start to change things.”

It was hard not to get swept up in Alec's earnest optimism, the way his face lit up when he was speaking.

“The Clave has been paying lip service to improving relations with the Downworld for centuries,” Magnus said. “And they have proven to be nothing more substantial than so much smoke every time. Do you really believe that if you tried to use your position as Acting Head of the Institute to change the way Shadowhunters here treat Downworlders, you'd actually be allowed to keep your position?”

“I think,” Alec said carefully, “that I'm not in a position to make big changes, but even small changes can make a difference. Even just the fact that we'll be married, a Shadowhunter and a warlock, and people will see it, that could make a difference.”

“Except,” Magnus countered, “that everyone knows this is purely a political alliance. Just another clause in the Accords.”

“It doesn’t have to be,” Alec snapped.

Magnus froze, unable to find words to respond to that.

Alec made a frustrated noise and rubbed a hand down his face. “I’m saying this all wrong.” He looked at Magnus, who was still unmoving and watching Alec warily. “What I mean is, I trust you.” He shook his head. “I don’t know why, but I do. And I think this could be an actual partnership, that we could make a real difference. Together. If you want.”

Magnus forced himself to relax, pushing down the stab of disappointment that Alec hadn’t actually been suggesting their political union could grow into a real marriage. It would have been a foolish and naive suggestion, anyway. But that did bring up an angle of argument Magnus might be able to use to his advantage.

“What about love?” Magnus asked, intentionally vague. He didn’t miss the way Alec’s eyes went wide at the question.

“W-what?” Alec stammered.

“I’ve lived for centuries, Alexander,” Magnus said. “I’ve fallen in love, fallen out of love, broken hearts, had my own heart broken, all countless times. You’ve been alive, what? Twenty years and change? You haven’t had those experiences, and if you go through with this marriage, chances are you never will. Or worse, you will fall in love one day, and you’ll have to choose between keeping the Accords intact and being true to your own heart.”

“You sound like my sister,” Alec told him.

“It sounds like Isabelle is a smart woman,” Magnus said with a shrug.

“What about you?” Alec challenged. “If you’ve been in love so many times, isn’t there just as much chance that you’d be the one having to make that choice?”

“No,” Magnus said. “I haven’t loved anyone in nearly a hundred years, not like that.” No need to mention that he didn’t plan on actually getting married, or that Alec himself was the only person who’d made him feel anything in all that time.

“Then maybe the Seelie Queen was right,” Alec said with a sad smile. “Marrying for love is not something that has ever been an option for me, so maybe we really are a perfect match.” He looked down at his drink. “Except for the part where you’re trying to talk me out of marrying you.”

“Alexander…” Magnus didn’t know what to say. This wasn’t going at all the way he’d hoped. He’d been too obvious in his intent, and now he’d given Alec entirely the wrong impression.

“I guess I’m not what you expected,” Alec continued. “And I get that. You’re not what I expected, either, but…but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.

“Look, I know you have some kind of history with my parents,” he continued. “I don’t know what happened between you, and I don’t expect you to tell me, but if that’s what this is about—”

“No,” Magnus cut in. “Alexander, no, this isn’t about your parents. I’m a warlock. I know better than to judge a person on who their parents are. This is between you and me.”

Alec wilted, and Magnus realized that, once again, he’d said entirely the wrong thing. He wished Alec would look at him.

“I think you’re right that we could work well together,” Magnus said, searching for the right words to say what he needed to without revealing too much of himself. “But this marriage is a disaster waiting to happen, as tied up as it is in Shadow World politics. And I don’t want that to get in the way of what we could do together. What we could be.”

Alec looked up, finally, and Magnus could see wariness in his eyes. “Why didn’t you object to me when you had the chance? You and the other Downworld leaders could have rejected me. The Clave would have chosen someone else for you.”

It was all Magnus could do not to break out into hysterical laughter. Now that would have been an even bigger disaster. As much as he didn’t want to marry Alec for the sake of the Accords, it was nothing compared to how little he wanted to be married off to some other Shadowhunter. Or how little he wanted to see Alec married to someone else for the sake of politics.

Magnus realized, with a sudden, startling clarity, that somewhere along the line, he’d already unconsciously decided that if he couldn’t talk Alec out of withdrawing from this marriage, Magnus was going to go through with it.

“Trust,” Magnus answered, not quite able to control the tremor in his voice, “makes you do strange things.”

Alec studied him for a long moment, then said, “Can I ask you something?”

Magnus had a terrible suspicion that he knew what Alec was going to ask, and he wasn’t ready to explain about his split-second decision during the meeting with the Clave, so instead of letting Alec ask the question, he just started talking. After all, if Alec never asked the question and Magnus didn’t say anything actually untrue, then it wasn’t a lie and he didn’t have to feel bad about it.

“The Spiral Council impressed upon me how meaningful it would be to have someone with my position and reputation give the revised Accords their full support,” Magnus said. “As skeptical as I am that the Clave will ever truly see Downworlders as equals, it would be a disaster if the Accords fell apart.”

“That’s good to know,” Alec said, “but that’s not what I was going to ask.”

“I apologize for presuming,” Magnus said. “Ask away.”

Alec ran his tongue along his lower lip, a nervous gesture that nonetheless had Magnus’s thoughts spinning off in a direction that wasn’t at all helpful at the moment.

“Before,” Alec said, “why did you invite me for drinks?”

Magnus blinked. That wasn’t even on the list of questions he might have been expecting. “I thought that would be obvious.”

“Not to me,” Alec told him.

Magnus suddenly found his drink very interesting to look at. “I wanted to spend more time with you.”

“Why?” There was genuine confusion in Alec’s voice.

Magnus sipped his drink, considering his answer. “For nearly a century, I closed myself off to feeling anything for anyone, man or woman.” He looked up at Alec through his eyelashes. “You’ve unlocked something in me.”

Alec stared. “I don’t— Magnus, I—”

Magnus shook his head. “You don’t have to say anything. You asked a question, and I answered it. I don’t expect anything from you.”

“What about living arrangements?” Alec asked suddenly.

Magnus raised his eyebrows, mind struggling to catch up with the sudden change in topic. “I’m not sure I understand the question.”

“After the wedding,” Alec explained. “I can’t invite you to live at the Institute. Accords or not, I can’t imagine the Clave accepting that. But we should live together if we’re going to do this right, at least some of the time. Obviously, I’ll need to stay at the Institute sometimes, because that’s just how these things work, but. Maybe we should think about getting a place together? For appearances sake.”

“I take it my attempts to talk you out of getting married haven’t been very effective,” Magnus said dryly.

Alec shrugged. “Have you even managed to convince yourself?”

It was far too perceptive a question, and Magnus laughed despite himself. “If you decide to marry me,” Magnus said, “you can have my guest room.”

“Okay,” Alec agreed. “That seems like a reasonable choice, if you don’t mind me invading your space like that.”

“I mind it far less than I mind the thought of abandoning my loft,” Magnus told him.

Alec nodded in understanding. “I should probably go,” he said. “I’ve taken up too much of your time already.”

“I wouldn’t have invited you if I minded you taking up my time,” Magnus said. “Stay for one more drink?”

Alec shook his head. “I want to. But there are things I need to take care of at the Institute, and I can’t do that if I have another drink.”

“I suppose I can’t fault you for being responsible,” Magnus said with an exaggerated sigh. “At least let me see you out.”

They moved toward the door, but Alec stopped in the entryway. “I’m not going to change my mind. My reasons for doing this might be different than yours, but they aren’t going to go away just because you have doubts about the Accords.”

“You say that now,” Magnus said, “but just wait until we get into planning this wedding. I imagine even that will be a trial with the Clave involved.”

Alec’s lips twitched in almost the semblance of a smile. “I’m less worried about the Clave than I am my sister. She takes parties very seriously.”

“As do I, Alexander,” Magnus said. “Perhaps between the two of us, Isabelle and I are a match for the Clave.”

“I don’t doubt it for a second,” Alec told him. And then, more softly, “And if you and Iz make that great a team, imagine what you and I can do.”

Magnus found he didn’t have an answer to that.

When Alec returned to the Institute, half-anxious and half-giddy from his talk with Magnus, Jace was waiting for him.

“Something wrong?” he asked. “Don’t tell me that little redheaded mundane you picked up is making trouble.”

“Clary’s still asleep,” Jace told him, “and you know I had no choice but to bring her back here. She’s nephilim, Alec, even if she’s not a Shadowhunter. She wouldn’t be able to bear a rune otherwise.”

“So you’ve said,” Alec said. “If it’s not the mundie, then what’s wrong?”

“Maybe nothing,” Jace said. “Maryse and Robert left word that they wanted to speak with you in the office as soon as you got back.”

“They say why?” He was in no way prepared for a rehash of the conversation they’d already had about his impending nuptials.

Jace shook his head. “Just that they’re being recalled to Alicante, and they need to speak with you before they leave.”

Alec felt only a little bad at his relief that he would finally have his Institute back. He missed his parents when they were away, but he didn’t miss the way they treated him like he was still a child when they were here.

The door to his office was closed when he arrived, so Alec knocked, even as he felt a stab of irritation at needing to. Just one more conversation, he reminded himself, and they’d be out of his hair.

Robert opened the door, a faint frown on his face that had Alec immediately on edge.

“Come in, son,” he said.

Alec was further discomfited when he found his mother seated on one of the armchairs in the middle of the room and his father moved to join her there. Normally, one of them would be sitting behind the desk.

“Jace said you wanted to see me.”

“Yes,” Maryse said. “Have a seat, Alec.”

Alec took one of the remaining seats, facing his parents. “If this about the wedding—” he began.

“It’s not,” Robert interrupted. “At least, not directly, although I suspect that had something to do with the Council’s decision.”

The wariness in Alec’s belly had jumped up to full alarm by this point. “What decision?”

“They’re officially making you Head of the Institute,” Maryse said matter-of-factly.

“They’re—” Alec blinked. “After all this time? Why? Not that I’m complaining,” he hastened to add, “but what about you and Dad?”

“I've been offered a position teaching at the Academy,” Robert said. “One that I’ve decided to accept.”

“And Mom?”

“I already have a job in Alicante,” Maryse said.

“Right,” Alec said. “The secret job you've been pretending not to have for years.”

Maryse sighed. “Things are different now. I wish they weren’t, but with you as Head of the Institute and some things that have recently come to light, we can’t keep you safe from this any longer.”

“Keep me safe?” Alec didn’t know whether to be astonished or angry. “You left. And I was an adult when you did, but Jace and Izzy weren’t. You don’t keep your children safe by abandoning them.”

“It was the only way,” Maryse told him. “You were safer here, even without us to watch over you, than you would have been if we hadn’t gone to Idris. The situation in Alicante was— The entire Clave was in danger.”

“Whatever it is you need to say,” Alec said, “just tell me.”

“What we’re about to tell you stays in this room,” Robert began. “The information is too dangerous to get out, and we don’t know who we can trust.”

Alec shook his head. “That doesn’t work for me. You either trust me with this, or you don’t. If you’re going to give me information that’s important to running this Institute, then you need to trust me to know who to tell and who not to.”

His parents exchanged a glance, seeming to speak with their eyes. Finally, Maryse shook her head and looked away.

Robert looked at Alec. “Valentine Morgenstern is alive. He’s been working to rebuild the Circle for at least five years.”

“Wait,” Alec said. “Is that why the two of you were recalled to Idris after Consul Dieudonné died? Did the Circle kill him?”

Maryse took a deep breath, steeling herself, then turned back to her son. “No,” she said. “Malachi Dieudonné was part of the Circle. He was working with Valentine. Your father and I uncovered his plot and stopped him.”

Alec stared, having trouble taking this all in. “How?” he asked. “How is it possible that the former Consul was part of the Circle, and this is the first I’ve heard of it? It seems like that’s the kind of thing people would talk about, especially if he was executed for it.”

“You have to understand,” Maryse said, “we didn’t know who we could trust. Even now, we aren’t certain how far Valentine’s reach goes. When we uncovered Malachi’s betrayal, we went to the people on the Council we knew we could trust.”

“Our family has been close with the Penhallows for generations,” Robert said, “and your mother and Jia were always close. So that was one person we knew we could trust.”

“And Imogen Herondale’s hatred for the Circle is legendary,” Maryse added. “Valentine had her son killed, so we knew that she would never work with him. But that was it. Out of the entire Council, Imogen and Jia were the only two we could be absolutely certain weren’t working with Valentine, and with the discovery of Malachi’s betrayal, we were very cautious.”

“So, what?” Alec said. “The four of you got together and rooted out the Circle members on the Council?” He was having trouble believing what he was hearing. “How would you even begin to do that?”

Maryse shook her head. “We didn’t have the means to determine who on the Council was working for Valentine, not with Malachi still in charge. It isn’t as simple as that, you have to understand. We were just two Heads of Institute, and we were accusing the Consul of treason.”

“Still,” Alec said, “you were Heads of Institute. Surely, that carries some weight.”

Once again, his parents shared a look.

“We weren’t exactly in high standing in Idris at the time,” Robert said. “We still aren’t, to be frank, but it’s better now that we’ve been working with Consul Penhallow for the past several years. Still, it’s a tenuous thing, and you need to understand why.”

Robert’s face was grave as he continued. “Your mother and I were given the New York Institute under unusual circumstances. It was a reward of sorts for doing our jobs, but it was also an effective banishment from Idris.”

“Banishment?” Alec asked, shocked. “What for?”

“For being members of the Circle,” Maryse answered. “And for recruiting people to Valentine’s cause.”

Alec gasped in a deep breath. It wasn’t possible. He knew his parents could be harsh, and their distaste for Downworlders was obvious even when they made an attempt to hide it, but the Circle wanted to eliminate the entire Downworld, to wipe every vampire, werewolf, warlock, and seelie from existence. That went beyond mere dislike. That was genocide.

“We left, obviously,” Maryse added quickly. “The reason we weren’t executed or imprisoned is that we turned on Valentine and the Circle, and helped the Council take them down.”

Alec stared, horrified. “That— That doesn’t make up for being a part of the Circle in the first place,” he told them. “What Valentine and his followers tried to do was horrific. I can’t believe you were a part of it, even for a short time.”

“Valentine didn’t start out a fanatic,” Robert insisted. “At first, his goals were noble. He wanted to protect Shadowhunters and mundanes from the demonic influence among Downworlders.”

“We did it because we wanted to make the world a better place,” Maryse said. “For our family. For our children.”

Alec shook his head. “No. No, you don’t get to say you did this for us. Your sins are your own. You leave us out of it.”

“Alec—” Maryse started, but Alec cut her off.

“That’s enough. You must have a reason for telling me all this, so get to the point. You aren’t going to be able to justify your involvement with the Circle to me. So, Valentine Morgenstern is still alive, the Circle is still alive and well, and you were involved in some conspiracy to take down the former Consul.

“Wait,” Alec realized. “Did you have something to do with Consul Dieudonné’s death?”

“That’s not important right now,” Maryse said, as good as confirming it. “What’s important is that I’ve been helping Consul Penhallow track the Circle’s movements for years, and I have it from several sources that Valentine now believes the Mortal Cup is somewhere in New York.”

Alec rubbed a hand down his face. “So, you’re telling me that there are going to be Circle members around New York.”

“Around New York, and possibly even already within this Institute,” Robert said.

“We didn’t want to get you involved in this, Alec,” Maryse told him, “but we couldn’t let you take over as Head of the Institute without telling you now that we know Valentine is sending people here to look for the Mortal Cup.”

“All right,” Alec said, needing to focus on what needed to be done and not on his parents’ confession. “Do you know anything about where the Circle thinks the Mortal Cup might be?”

Maryse shook her head. “No. Some of my sources aren’t even convinced the Cup itself is in New York. They think maybe Valentine is only looking for a person who knows the Cup’s location.”

“Then I guess we’ll just have to find the Mortal Cup before the Circle does,” Alec said. Which should be fun on top of everything else he’d been dealing with.

“That would be for the best,” Robert told him, “and if you can keep an eye out for Circle activity in the area and report back to us, too, that would be a great help.”

“To you,” Alec said flatly. “Not to the Council.”

Maryse shook her head. “We still aren’t certain that there are no Circle members on the Council, and we can’t risk Valentine finding out that we have eyes on him. You’ll need to send your reports directly to the two of us, and to Consul Penhallow.”

“Not Inquisitor Herondale?” Alec asked. “Isn’t she a part of this, too?”

“Imogen can be...” Maryse tilted her head, considering her words, “a bit intense when it comes to matters involved Valentine and the Circle. Consul Penhallow has found it’s better to loop her in to information only when we have concrete facts and a course of action planned.”

“Great,” Alec said. “You don’t just want me to keep secrets from the Council, but from the people who are helping you keep your secrets.” He shook his head in exhaustion. “Is there anything else I need to know?”

“There is one more thing,” Robert said. “Valentine’s return and Consul Dieudonné’s betrayal are the reason we pushed for updating the Accords. The four of us spoke about it at length and agreed that the best way to keep from having to face both the Circle and a Downworld revolt at the same time, which there undoubtedly would be if the Downworlders ever found out about the extent to which the Circle has managed to infiltrate the governing body of the Clave, was to solidify our relationship with the Downworld as best as possible.”

“The marriage written into the Accords,” Alec said, understanding dawning. “That’s why you were both so outspoken in your support of it.”

Robert nodded. “And now that Valentine is making a move to find the Mortal Cup, finalizing the new Accords is more important than ever. Which is why the Consul has convinced the Council that your marriage should take place next week, before the signing of the revised Accords.”

“Next week?” For the first time since he entered the office, Alec felt something besides anger. He couldn’t get married in a week. He’d barely even gotten used to the idea that he was supposed to marry Magnus, although admittedly, talking to Magnus had helped. There was something about having someone try to talk him out of a thing that made it so much easier for Alec to recognize why he wanted to do it. Still, a week was far too soon. “I thought we’d have more time. A month or two, at least.”

“Well, it’s not like you’re planning an actual wedding,” Maryse said with a wave of her hand. “This is a purely political transaction. It just needs to be a good show so that the Accords are solid once they’re signed.”

But that was the problem, wasn’t it? That this was a political transaction, but it was with Magnus, and Magnus had said...

“Fine,” Alec said. “Is there anything else?”

“No,” Robert answered. “But if you want to talk more about any of this—”

“I don’t,” Alec said, moving to his desk. “If you don’t mind, I have things to do, and I remember Jace saying something about the two of you needing to get back to Alicante.”

Maryse sighed. “All right, Alec. But we will talk about this again when you’re ready.”

“Don’t count on that being any time soon.”

#malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #fanfic

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aesirfalling · 4 years ago

Note

From your writing asks: #1, 8, 10, 26, and 28 :) I wasn't sure if you had wanted me to answer any specific ones myself, but since it was an ask I wanted to respond properly~

I definitely wanted you to answer some specific ones yourself :^)

What themes would you like to write about that you feel don’t get explored very often?

I think this is obvious to everyone who’s read my more recent fics (so like... my fics from 2016 onwards?), but I like to write “realistically,” especially in regards to joys and pain. When people write about angst things like breakups and depression and physical illnesses they are sometimes hesitant (rightfully or understandably so, in many cases) to really get into the nitty gritty, and in many cases, uglier parts of them, but like, they’re a part of life and people in our lives don’t have a good time (or even many good moments at all) when these kinds of things happen to them. Those moments are still important, though, and I personally feel like embracing the dark aspects of those things makes getting through them in the end more emotionally and existentially powerful? If that makes sense. I’m definitely still wrestling with, like, the extent to which I should write such things (esp. since like, in most cases, fic readers are not reading your fic to suffer), but I think my underlying sentiment as a writer is to examine/meet feelings and life unflinchingly and with some kind of grace.

(I’ll get to the joys eventually. I swear. I have that draft of the second chapter of Lost and Found in my Google Drive. There’s Radiance and the mood in that, too. I just don’t like to write too much preemptive joy.)

The other thing I want to bring up as well is a kind of like... infrastructural realism? Or is it like, socioeconomic, worldly things? Like we’ve talked about this as well RE: how I’m covering Hope in my fics and how you worldbuild a lot around missions and such in yours. I think this is mostly a fic thing since to do this well requires a longer fic with a lot of forethought, and most people don’t have time for that. And honestly most people don’t like Hope for the structural engineering work he put into building new planets either

Favorite dialogue in your wip? (If asked more than once, respond with a new piece each time)

Oh man this interlude is going to be CHOKE FULL of dialogue that will kill me and most of them haven’t even been written yet

But the things that I’ve already put down on my dump file are like all dialogue

Here I just wrote up this thing

Snow: Go on then. Tell me that you don’t miss the stars. Tell me that you are okay with just sitting here day by day, pretending that you don’t know anything, pretending that you don’t have regrets and wants. Tell me that you don’t care if I won’t invite you to the wedding with Serah, if Light finds another man, or if some orphanage is burning on the other side of town. Tell me -

Hope: I don’t think you understand. I never needed anyone to motivate me.

Hope: I needed someone to stop me.

What scene was the most fun to write for you and why?

Hmm... we might have to establish a definition for ‘fun’ :P

I think in more recent memory, I’ve had the most fun writing the dialogue between Hope and E1 in the Intermission, because I relish all opportunities to write him (especially in FWWCH where I’m usually banned from writing in his POV) and writing two of him is just double the fun. I also adore all occasions where introspective idiots have to talk to other versions of themselves because it’s kind of like. The inevitable 404 error when they realize they are actually empathizing with themselves is tearjerker and heartwarming central.

What do you feel like you need to work on as a growing writer? How can you improve?

Oh lordy there are so many things. Lemme just list a few off the top of my head

1) Linguistic ability: There is definitely a part of me that is sad about the fact that leaving my home country at the age of 11 has left me in a place where I am kind of bilingual but kind of... not really “Native” in either. Like, I have this lingering feeling that I’ll never get to the level of a “Native” English speaker/writer, and I definitely hit like language ability walls all the time when I write - things wouldn’t feel naturally lyrical, I’d run out of words, I wouldn’t know how to describe something the way it should be described, the sentence structure variety is pitiful, etc. I think it’s especially apparent when you’re writing a long fic, where like you have to deal with the same things over and over (e.g. writing Hope cooking, or how Lightning physically perceives him, etc) and there’s more of a limit on where natural inspiration can take you. I should read more good prose (since that’s apparently how I get better at English) but, ugh, effort.

2) Characterization: how many times have I whined about how much I suck at writing Lightning lmaooooooo I think the general thing is like, everyone is decent at writing someone they personally relate to, but we struggle when we try to write outside of our comfort zone. Lightning is definitely the poster child of “character unlike me that I’m trying to get a hold of,” but I think I struggled even more trying to write Fang, and I’d probably struggle trying to write someone like Cid seriously. I think a large part of the struggle is trying to morph yourself into that character (or, like, dissociating from yourself and just... “becoming” that character depending on how you view writing meta??) since like, just understanding someone is not enough. Just understanding someone won’t let you write convincing dialogue where they talk and move around the way they usually do. You have to like, become them and that’s really hard when you have a strong writer’s ego (I know, shocking, coming from me.)

3) Worldbuilding: wtf am I even doing with Hope’s White Lotus thing lmaoooooo anyway a world could always be more interesting, consistent, realistic, nuanced etc. And not necessarily through more word count on the worldbuilding-y stuff. I think it’s more about understanding the factors driving the world than anything else. Like what the resources are, who has power/agency, how things are done (e.g., in our world, decisions are mostly made by individual nation states, although large corporate entities often have immense political influence). AND THEN JUST LIKE CHARACTERS THERE’S THE STRUGGLE WITH EXECUTING THEM - like just because I understand there are rich oligarchs behind things doesn’t mean I’m good at writing the Great Gatsby. I dunno, I have a perpetual sense of imposter syndrome when I try to understand and write things about the world, regardless of whether or not the world is real. I feel like a large part of this goes back to the fact that I’m still only in my 20s and haven’t seen much of the ‘real world’ as they say, although I guess I’m technically still way ahead of most fic writers.

4) General writer’s attitude: this influences themes and the heart of one’s writing. When I say that I care a lot about the grace and dignity of my narratives and my characters, it ties back into this - I want to tell human stories, and I want to tell stories that reflect on our struggles and our faith despite said struggles. It’s the kind of lens that I filter all my words through and impacts every word I write. The obvious problem, then, is that my writing’s only ever going to be as perceptive or sympathetic as I am, and that’s something that I can and should always work on. Am I too obsessed with tragedy? Am I honestly far better at posing questions than providing solutions, even when I highly value solutions? How do I become the kind of writer and person that I want to be without driving myself insane or losing touch with the people that I want my writing to speak to?

5) Discipline: Am I ever going to finish FWWCH (or H&L or any of my other WIPs lmao)? Stay tuned.

I think a lot of my self-doubt as a writer comes from just how much I know I can improve on tbh

Do you need background noise to write? If so, what do you listen to?

I wouldn’t say I work with “background noise” - I work with mood-appropriate playlists (did you know I’ve been gratuitously naming all my fic chapters after songs?), or you know, the good ole 2 o’clock cosmic silence. It’s pretty interesting to me actually, since I also have an engineering degree and like... I need silence when I’m trying to logick things like math or the correct wording for a formal writing thing (e.g. a grant or policy proposal). So my creative hemisphere wants stimulation while my mechanical brain wants silence. Figures.

#thank you for sending these in ;_;#writing tag #long post

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dragonpiango · 5 years ago

Text

My review of 2019

January:

So I recently graduated from community college in the previous December, and I started university at HT with a scholarship for piano performance. Honestly I thought going to a HBCU was going to be weird, but turns out I’m not much of an outcast. It was a nice transition to a new setting and new people and a breath of fresh air! It was amazing having a practice room to myself and the mental thought of “getting to know my music” became a reality although my first piano lesson with my new professor was strange. His impression of me was way different than what I thought. Although he is a outstanding teacher, he might have overthought what I was capable of.... him assigning me my pieces and they consisted of Bach French suite No. 5 in G Major, Mozart sonata K.332 in F Major, Chopin Nocturne in D-flat Major, Chopin Scherzo No.2 in b-flat minor, and the most memorable piece IMHO Ravel’s Une Barque Sur L’Ocean from Miroirs.

February:

So still settling into a new university and meeting new people (although I just stayed in the music building bc that’s where all my classes were) it was Black History Month. Being apart of the choir at school and the only ensemble they offered, we were pretty busy with a lot of performances BUT it was enlightening too. Everyone has been so welcoming and coming from a background in classical music I’ve been introduced to Gospel music not only for voice, but piano. From accompanying spirituals to gospel it really has opened my eyes that music doesn’t have to be so strict. It is a way of expressing emotions and from then on I took my repertoire more seriously in the sense each piece had its own “character.”

March:

This month is a crucial one, not only did I find my “clique” at school, but they only consisted of two people. Ant and KayP. Not going to use their names but these two were the only two that understood who I was and I understood who they were. We might have drifted a little bit since one has graduated but in the mean time, during these few months, have been my shoulder to cry on. They were very talented vocalist who taught me a lot in the sense of accompanying and vice versa. Since our school is small, our “accompanist” was my piano teacher, so every rehearsal was around his schedule, until I came into the picture. They really pushed me to get out of my comfort zone and really get me to where I need to be. During this time, I was still working retail and I have a true appreciation for those who commit full time to retail because lemme tell y’all. That shit is a lot of work. Especially around holidays. Balancing out school and work was a struggle, but I managed through especially when I don’t have a piano at home. I have to go to school to practice and with retail, all my extra time would be working.

April:

By this time, everyone is stressing because of finals, but luckily since I grabbed an associates degree from COmmunity college, I didn’t have to take my core classes and cry. Music classes were all my focuses were on especially performance. I had a few performances in between for our seminar where we perform in front of all the music students, and for me, being a pianist, I didn’t have to rely on my teacher for rehearsals and accompanying. I just focused on me and this got me ready for our benefit concert that I was honored to be a part of. KayP being the current Miss HBCU and queen of the school, decided to raise money for students of troubled pasts who have really turned their lives around in college and made a great GPA would be rewarded with scholarship money that we raised. I was the one who got to close the whole show out and it truly was an amazing experience. Being able to perform for a great cause is always heart warming and I will cherish that moment forever.

May:

So the semester comes to an end and I have juries (where we perform our pieces in front of the faculty and get graded ) what I did not know is that since our school is so small, they invite and pay other professors from the biggest university next to us UT Austin and have them come sit and grade us as well. That to me was a shock moment, because coming from a university in a small town before we had enough people and knew everyone. Community college DIDNT have juries for piano which was odd, but this was a perfect opportunity to really put my hard work into good use. After juries, I did splendid with a few mistakes that I was able to recover from, and lemme tell y’all. No performance is perfect. And I have accepted that. My piano teacher hooked me up with one of his good friends who owns and directs her own music school and I became a piano teacher there. Oddly, I’m the youngest teacher there with no doctoral degree and am working on a BA still..... but none the less, this transition really opened my eyes.

June:

School is finally out, and I reduced my retail job to just Saturday. I finally got my reputation as a teacher at my new job and gained students rather quickly to where I was almost booked up Monday through Friday. With little to no teaching experience it was a trial and error process. I was taking over a studio of a former teacher who had visa issues. So all his students were a tad skeptical with me more so their parents. But after observing lessons and learning their names it was only a matter of time that I was teaching them and really became someone they look up to. It started off rocky because I wasn’t used to a build your own schedule, from what I’ve experienced with teaching at a music school is that someone does the schedule for you. Not in this case, so having to communicate and try to accommodate every students schedule was a tough start, but once I got used to it, the ride was easy from there. Unfortunately, most students were gone on vacation so I had to work with only a few who stayed in town and accommodate those who were in town for that week. That aside, my communication improved after constantly talking with parents 24/7.

July:

This is where life gets exciting. My boyfriend had surprised me with tickets to go to Chicago. I would go back because the city is amazing and food is delicious and it’s easy to get around in Chicago. It was a nice break from work and really helped me bond with my partner. During this time we had two cats. One names Roger and the other Gladys. So a little back story, when I moved in with my partner, his cats basically adopted me. Gladys was a daddy’s girl and kept to Todd mostly but she was very seeet with me and made adorable monkey noises when you picked her up and cuddled with her. She was diagnosed with cancer and the year before that we made the decision to remove her tumor and hope that she would live a healthy life. Well this is where the tumor came back full force and in Chicago, I was a wreck because I felt bad enjoying my time away and leaving her at home. My partner (who is the mature one in our relationship) had a sit down with me about what to do with her and I lost it. He didn’t want to put her down either, but it was for the best. We agreed to keep her comfortable until we knew it was time. Before the month ends tho, we are back home and my sisters boyfriend sends me a text saying he is serious about her and wants to marry her. The retail I work for is a jewelry store and he had asked me to help pick out a diamond for my sister since he knew what she wanted. So this was the good news. We find the diamond, and have it set in her favorite setting and my boyfriend who is full of surprises gets me a ticket to visit her in LA.

August:

So my birthday month is here, and I fly out to LA to deliver the ring to my now sisters fiancé and they fly out to Italy and he does the deed and she says yes. Happy note. But as school starts back up for the new semester, my partner had a issue to where he would be in a state to where he couldn’t move much due to a unusual circumstance. And before that we decided to put Gladys down. It was a tough decision but we gave her the best life we could ever had hoped for her and I was emotionally drained from everything. Having to keep a positive attitude for my students and going to school and being an adult in general. The only way I got thru this period is from my best friend and coworker who knows what it’s like to go through life and it’s always better to have an open mind and ear to talk to. I call her my mamma because she’s like a mother figure to me but also a amazing friend. Without her, I probably wouldn’t have been mentally there at all for anyone. In the time of summer until now I haven’t had a chance to practice because I forgot to mention that i had a Jr recital coming up which is why my repertoire was so big.

September:

After everything passed and I’m in a better mental state, I proceed to my schedule of school and work and find a time to practice in between. What’s great about this month is that since the semester just started, I had plenty of time to catch up on my practice and really get my lessons to become productive in shaping and understanding different musical styles. My partner is all better and life is great because I was in the best part of my life. Doing well in school, amazing texting job, and a best friend who is there for me and most importantly my partner. He’s been my rock since we first met and I can always rely on him and vice versa. He understood that with my free day off that I needed to spend it practicing and told me to go for it and be as productive as I can. I honestly wasn’t used to that kind of support but I am grateful.

October:

This is where reality hits and my recital is next month. I get very crazy about everything. I had all my music learned but because of my indecisiveness, I kept changing how I shaped everything and my mind goes blank. Probably a dark time for me because I didn’t know how to handle this kind of stress. I’ve put on hour long recitals before and the only thing different this time is that I’m getting graded and want to make such a great impression to further my education to a dictator degree. The dress was eating me alive and on top of that, one of my students decided he wants to enter in a competition and I say why not. Let’s do it. Getting him ready for that and keeping my sanity was hard to do but I managed. He did well, but not well enough to get a medal but his parents were very impressed with how quickly he progressed with me. That’s always a plus, right?

November:

The month has come for me to have my big recital and I invited all my friends and coworkers and they all made it. I was truly nervous but if you don’t get nervous, are you even human? It turned out wonderful although the first piece (Bach French suite) was shaky, I had to tell my self that I was having fun and everyone here is here to support me and want me to do well. That little talk was a confidence booster and ended the recital flawlessly. After my recital, my job has their student recitals so my focus was all on my students doing the best they can and having fun. This month was fun because I was selected to do masterclasses for piano students through out my job and it was very enlightening to see how talented the new generation of musicians are! Only positive comments because I couldn’t honestly find anything wrong with any of the students performances and their teachers are amazing.

December:

So getting all my students ready for their recital was a big time investment but totally worth it because they all performed so well and I honestly cried bc I felt like a proud parent LOL. But after that was time for the semester to end up and one class was making me go crazy. Everything ended well and I had ALL A’s and one B but I know what to expect for next semester and everything will be great. Honestly this year has me all sorts of fucked up with emotions and I proved to myself that when I stay committed, I can really achieve what I want. This year was a great year for me and a way to end a decade because when 2020 starts, I know what I need to do and where I need to be.

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luki-fanfic · 5 years ago

Text

A Kingdom For a Book: Part 2

I’m having way too much fun with this idea...

With one failed attempt under their belt, they end up having lunch in Chinatown before heading back to the hotel to regroup and debrief. Tsuna and Gokudera end up sitting on one bed, Gokudera nose deep in a laptop, while Yamamoto leans back on another, and Ryohei slumps the wrong way round in a chair.

“I see why the Ninth didn’t want us to come here,” Yamamoto says. “Do you think the owner knew who we were?”

Tsuna shook his head. “No, I think he would have treated us that way even if we weren’t Vongola. There was something about that shop...it just felt wrong.”

Ryohei frowns. “That’s strange to the extreme. This could be challenging.”

Gokudera is nodding, digging up the research he’d been tinkering with even before they arrived.

“Okay, so that building? It’s been there since the 1700’s,” he explains. “That’s when Soho was built up for the aristocracy, and the book shop’s been around since then. Which is pretty damn impressive considering the wealthy all more of less fled mid 1800’s when there was a cholera outbreak and the neighbourhood took a serious dive. I don’t think there’s a lot of business in London that have been in the same building that long, and if they did, they’re a lot more successful. At this point, A.Z.Fell & Co should be a historic monument or tourist attraction just due to it’s existence, but it’s only reputation-”

At this he tosses his hands up in the air in disbelief.

“-Is a handful of websites for rare book dealers bemoaning it’s existence! There’s a 3000 word essay on here that’s just analysing the opening times! I’ve never seen a white noise spot as bad as this outside of the mafia! It shouldn’t even be possible without mist flames!”

“Are we sure they’re not?” Yamamoto asks, head tilting.

Tsuna shakes his head.

“No,” he insists. “I don’t know what it was about that building, but flames weren’t involved. Besides, it’s too obvious in its refusal to sell.”

Everyone gives a slow nod at that, and Tsuna bites his lip.

“What we need it witness accounts,” he says. “We need to know what doesn’t work.”

This quickly results in Gokudera frantically tapping on his laptop again and setting up a video call with Dino in Italy. When he learns where they are, his face flinches – as if he’s just watched a man belly flop from a high dive.

“Reborn sent you where?” he asks. “The Ninth can’t possibly have approved that.”

“He wasn’t happy about it,” Tsuna admits. “But...it’s Reborn. You don’t really tell him no.”

Dino grimaces. “I feel for you little bro. I wish I could help, but I’ve never tried my luck against the devil of Soho.

“The devil of Soho?” the four repeat, and Dino chuckles.

“Oh, it’s kind of an in-joke among people who’ve tried,” he explains. “The shop is on a crossroad, and someone one suggested you’d probably have to sell your soul in exchange for a book from A.Z. Fell, and it kind of caught on. Plus, according to Christianity, devils or demons are supposed to be fallen angels, and they guy is called ‘Fell,’ so...”

Tsuna guesses it’s probably funnier for the Italians, because Gokudera’s openly cackling. Although that said, Ryohei is also grinning, so maybe he’s a fan of the crossroads story. The boxer does often enjoy American music…

“You might as well give selling your soul a shot though,” Dino continues. “Because I don’t have the slightest clue what else would work.”

Yamamoto frowns, leaning back in a stretch that almost looks painful.

“If we can’t buy a book, can we just buy out the shop?” he asks Dino, and Gokudera brightens.

“The Baseball Idiot has a point. I mean, this is Soho, and that shop can’t be making enough to stay in business. Can’t we just buy the building, or bribe the owner?”

“You really think nobody ever thought of that?” Dino asks, eyebrows raising. “The Fell family are loaded; they own that building, and they’ve never accepted a single offer.”

“Then we’ll make it a really good one. Reborn said our credit limit was unlimited for this-”

“Ten years ago Mr. Fell was offered five times what the building was worth and he didn’t even think it over” Dino interrupts. “And if you think you can scare him out, think again. People have tried everything from hiking his electric bills to bribing the council to shut him down for health reasons. I hear the building was even set on fire once. Nothing sticks, and it always comes back round to whoever tried their luck. An awful lot of enforcers change careers after a run in with A.Z. Fell.”

Dino sounds a little bitter by the end, and Tsuna frowns.

“That sounds a little personal,” he says. “Did Reborn try and make you go?”

His self proclaimed older brother suddenly finds it very hard to meet his eyes.

“No, but let’s just say I have it on good authority that one of the reasons my family ended up in such dire financial straights is because my grandfather tried to ah...convince Mr. Fell to move into a building owned by my family so he could have regular access to his collection,” Dino says. “A week later, there’s a freak accident with our accountant’s computer systems that sees 60% of our assets frozen while a record of all our recent financial dealings was sent first class to the local police department. By the time we cleared it up the money was gone.”

Gokudera does a full body flinch.

“How-”

“I don’t know. And I don’t want to know” Dino tells him. “Some of those financials weren’t even supposed to have a paper trail. When my negotiation trial came up, I told Reborn I wasn’t setting foot in that shop. That I’d try and negotiate peace in Korea before I went to Soho.”

Yamamoto whistles, and Tsuna’s optimism sinks even more.

“Where’d you end up?” Tsuna asks.

“Guinea-Bissau,” Dino says. “Came out of it with only two bullets wounds too.”

“...Thats...good?” Tsuna offers, frantically trying to remember exactly where on a map that was, and Dino shrugs.

“Better than Xanxus any way” he offers. “He was lucky to get out intact.”

Yamamoto immediately lights up. “Oh yeah. The Ninth said he’d tried.”

“Lets call the Varia, to the extreme!” Ryohei agrees.

“Not sure how useful he’ll be,” Dino warns as they say goodbye. “His tactics weren’t really compatible with you.”

That’s hardly news to Tsuna, but a list of what definitely wont work is better than no list at all at this point. Yamamoto is already punching in Squalo’s number.

---

Two minutes later, Tsuna is wondering how far he can be from a video screen without appearing offensive, because Xanxus is glaring like he wants to reach through the computer and strangle Tsuna for the crime of bothering him.

Which, to be fair is Xanxus’s general mode of being, but Tsuna hasn’t survived this long by getting complacent. Given his life, it’s not impossible Xanxus has figured out how to do it.

At least the Varia commander is taking his question seriously – the glare had almost vanished when Yamamoto had explained just where they were.

“Whatever you do, don’t steal one” Xanxus warns when Yamamoto finishes up, and Tsuna finds himself leaning forward.

“You stole one?” he says. “I thought the requirement was legal purchase.”

“I was getting desperate!” Xanxus snarls, almost defensively. “Fell-Trash is impossible to reason with. Not that it did me any good. Cost me three months, my body weight in pride and a Lightning Guardian.”

At that Tsuna pauses, and glances to the corner of the screen where he can see Xanxus’s guardians, Levi included, not-so-subtly listening in. Xanxus rolls his eyes.

“Parasol-Trash is number 2” he tells him. “Huge improvement over Belias, I assure you. Idiot walked out with some old folio under his jacket, figuring we could negotiate after it was in our hands. To this day, I have no clue what happened to him, but that folio was on display in the window next morning and Fell’s creepy ass boyfriend was wearing Belias’s shades when we walked in.”

“Boyfriend?” Yamamoto asks, and Xanxus chuckles.

“Oh trust me Trash, you’ll know him when you see him.”

In the background Lussuria is fanning himself with a hand, while Squalo is glowering and inching closer to the screen. Tsuna ignores both of them.

“You didn’t try to find out what happened?” he questions, and Xanxus glares.

“Of course I fucking did!” he snaps. “Even had the lightning member’s we brought along tried to put on the squeeze, but both of them are mental steel traps. If anything, threats just amuse them. Two of Belias’s closest tried physical violence – the boyfriend has this classic car, beautiful piece of machinery; I’ll give him that – smashed out every window and made it clear we were coming back to finish the job. Car like that can’t be easy or cheap to fix.”

“It didn’t work?” Gokudera asks, and Xanxus shakes his head.

The trash left the hotel to get drinks, next thing I know the shark trash is getting a call from the hospital about them.”

The Varia boss jerks his head back, and Squalo freezes for a second, before slinking up to his boss, not even pretending to be subtle in his approach anymore.

“Were they still alive?” Tsuna asks, not sure if he wants to know. Xanxus merely glares at Squalo, who reacts as though it pains him to answer.

“Voi, they lived,” he says. “Looked like they’d been run over by that stupid car a couple hundred times, but they lived. Not that it mattered to us, both of them up and joined a monastery in New Zealand the second they were released!”

Yamamoto frowns. “New Zealand? When you abandon your old life to join a monastery, don’t you usually got to somewhere like Tibet or something?”

“Voi, according to them, they picked New Zealand because there aren’t any snakes there,” Squalo snarled. “Don’t ask me why, never had a problem with them before.”

“Yeah, and that car come morning?” Xanxus adds. “Perfect. Condition. After that, I cut my losses while I still had something to lose.”

“It was their own fault for making compensation jokes about the darling’s car!” Lussuria defends from the back, and Xanxus throws a wine glass in his direction.

The Varia side of the call inevitably descends into a brawl, and little advice is coming. All Tsuna’s managed to gather is, stay legal, screaming is pointless, and don’t threaten his associates or their possessions.

Tsuna silently vows that Gokudera must never enter that building unaccompanied.

Also, before the screen cut off completely, Lussuria popped onto the screen with one final titbit.

“Oh, one more thing. Don’t flirt with the boyfriend,” he says with Bel half in a headlock and the screen on it’s side. “Crowley-darling seems to think it’s funny, but it ticks Mr. Fell off no end. Not sure how he did it, but I got food poisoning whenever I ate out the rest of the time we were there. Ciao!”

The screen immediately goes black, and as a group, Tsuna, Gokudera and Ryohei all glance in Yamamoto’s direction. The teen immediately starts pouting.

“Why are you all looking at me?” he whines.

“Because out of everyone in this room who would think it would be funny, you’re the only one who’d actually try his luck, Baseball Idiot,” Gokudera snaps, and Yamamoto’s lip quirks, point taken. After so much time hanging around Squalo and Reborn, Yamamoto’s baseline for appropriate behaviour and etiquette will never recover – not that there was ever much to save, if Tsuna’s being entirely honest.

In the end, after looking at a spreadsheet of the opening hours Gokudera has on hand, they decide to hold off this evening, and try again in the 40 minute window that there should be just before lunch.

Who knows, maybe Mr. Fell will be more agreeable after he’s eaten?

---

One more part, and think it’ll be ready to migrate to AO3...

#Fanfiction #Fanfic #Katekyo Hitman Reborn Fanfiction #KHR Fanfic #Good Omens #Katekyo hitman reborn #Good Omens fanfiction #crossover #A Kingdom For a Book #KHR

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rkkyungsoo · 5 years ago

Text

‹ red camellia. ›

group performance solo: shangri la - vixx {1:15 to 5:03} - line distribution

Five companies, five contestants in each team. Four companies were called and twenty hopefuls found their place for the semi-finals. One corner of Kyungsoo’s lips lifted in a bitter, but also knowing smile as he turned, his gaze met halfway by Suwoong’s dark eyes. Only one company team left and neither of their names were called. This means, ladies and gentlemen, that the Susoo cousin duo were selected to be in the same group. Kyungsoo wanted to be optimistic, but let’s not lie to ourselves - this was going to be the shit show of the year.

tw; anxiety, panic attack

Five minutes into the practice studio and Kyungsoo felt an incoming migraine. First of all, there were too many people in the room: the contestants and three whole coaches. Most of the contestants were excited about the coaches, with the most notable one being the youngest Eric. The kid was practically over the moon at the fact he was to be aided by his biases - the wonderful Luxe girls. Seolhyun was also supposed to be Kyungsoo’s bias from the bullshit he spewed during the audition when they asked about his music taste. He was aware he should at least try to look excited to see her, but all of the noises and contrasting smells in the room was making him want to throw himself out of the window.

Except they were not on the ground floor and he might actually break his legs. Can’t have that, can we, especially when he had to dance again! Oh joy, just when he thought his dancing days were over, fate laughed into his face and sent him straight back to hell.

Little known fact about Kyungsoo, he’s always struggled with some social anxiety. Over the years, he’d improved exponentially to the point where it no longer affected his daily lives. In the MGA so far, Kyungsoo managed to glide by social situation without too much trouble, mostly because he had fewer people to work with and viewed the judges/audience as background whenever he was on the stage. This week, however, there was no escape. With eight units of breathing homosapiens in the room, the clamminess of his hands were really setting in.

in his moment of distraction, he did not even notice that Suwoong had come up behind him and was marching him towards one of the cameras. His cousin, using both of his index fingers, was pressing against Kyungsoo’s cheeks and forming his lips manually into a smile. Bewildered, Kyungsoo initially flailed until he heard Suwoong’s voice introducing him. He imitated Suwoong during one of the interviews and now the other was unknowingly returning the favour. To be fair, Kyungsoo thought his imitation of Suwoong was better because at least he tried while Suwoong just sounded like a baby.

Once Suwoong finished his poor mimic of Kyungsoo’s voice, he peeked out from behind him and said “I am Suwoong!” in his regular cheery voice. Forming Vs with his hands, he greeted the camera once again with enthusiasm. Kyungsoo, supposing he should do more than just stand there, offered an awkward smile (this time on his own) and stiffly brought up a ‘V’ finger sign of his own.

On that very first day of practice, Kyungsoo was almost glad for Suwoong’s presence. The other knew him, at the very least, and was able to realize when all of the voices was beginning to overwhelm him when they were making the song selection. Whether or not Suwoong shushed everyone on purpose, Kyungsoo did not know (okay fine, he was pretty sure Suwoong did it for him but a part of him didn’t want to acknowledge it!), but felt a wave of gratefulness nevertheless. Perhaps, he thought innocently at that time, it wouldn’t be so bad having his cousin in the same team. Maybe they could make it work and actually behave like supportive family members instead of rivals, you know, for the first time in their entire life.

It was wishful thinking and the very next day, they had their first argument.

It was Saturday and they had all the parts divided. Suwoong took liking to one of Kyungsoo’s parts, and thought he should be the one to do it. Kyungsoo, who had been mostly silent and focused on learning the choreo, looked up from the ground with a glint of resentment in his eyes. He already had the least amount of lines among the singers and now his cousin wanted to casually rob him of another? The coaches asked Suwoong to try out the part and Kyungsoo must admit, Suwoong looked good doing the movement. His cousin was tall, slender, too pretty for a guy and did ballet. Kyungsoo was a logical person and saw no point in denying his cousin’s visual impact.

Coach Cheri told them to fight for it, to prove to everyone who deserved it more. Kyungsoo, who had been sitting at that time, stood up and gently pushed his way into the centre of the room where Suwoong and Eric were standing. “I would like to keep my part,” he said, his voice not loud but firm. He didn’t need to raise his voice, though, because the room was quiet and people were respectfully giving him the attention. Perhaps a few of them were just shocked by the fact he so readily defended himself, since he barely spoke two sentences to anyone so far.

“I’ve proven that I can embody the dark, mysterious aura from my past performances and I won’t disappoint the audience with my voice.” Why give one of the most beautiful vocal parts to the dancer, just because he was nice to look at? “Please allow me to demonstrate.” With that, he stepped up, waiting for Suwoong to move away so he could take the place that should have been his in the first place. He performed, only those few seconds, keeping his voice clear throughout the line but also making sure that last word mysterious linger.

Coach Cheri directed her gaze towards her fellow Luxe member, Ella, and the latter decided Kyungsoo should keep the line.

He exhaled with relief, not realizing he even held his breath in the first place.

From there, the rift between him and Suwoong only widened. The dance choreo wasn’t impossible, but it was challenging. There was this one set of footwork that was more difficult than the others and Kyungsoo struggled in getting it right. As he had always been his own worst critic, Kyungsoo’s frustration level was already high before he noticed Suwoong’s eyes, watching him through the mirrors.

“Let’s start again from the beginning,” his cousin said, looking away. Kyungsoo knew what that look was for - it was an accusation. A silent why can’t you keep up? Indignation rose in his chest, only to be swiftly pushed down. Kyungsoo knew he wasn’t the best dancer, but to be fair, in this practice room, he was also not the worst. if he had to judge, he would say he was right in the middle - not nearly as good as the dancers but a bit better than the other vocalists. So why was Suwoong so dead set on making him miserable?

It wasn’t like his cousin was direct. No, it was actually quite the opposite. Suwoong was subtle with his critics, and all the while still using that annoyingly sweet nickname Kyungie. To a less observant pair of eyes, Suwoong’s comments may not seem directed at Kyungsoo at all, but they’ve grown up together and he knew how Suwoong thought and what his small behaviour changes meant. From the way coach Ella narrowed her eyes, he’d say she caught on as well.

Move that foot a little, Kyungie. We are not getting it, let’s try again. It looks sloppy, we have to start from the top.

Those seemingly general, yet so very pointed comments, along with his already overflowing frustration with himself eventually built up to an explosion, and it happened on Sunday morning.

Suwoong had made another one of those comments with a barely detectable trace of genuine irritation. Kyungsoo’s fingers clenched around the handle of his fan as all of the anger that he kept pent up erupted in his chest, coating his inside with scorching hot rage. Who the hell died and made Suwoong the boss of him? Who gave him the right to keep nitpicking on him like this even though he was neither the worst dancer nor slacking. He was trying to do it right and had never used the fact he was a better singer against his cousin in anyway. How was this fair?

Kyungsoo couldn’t move, and he couldn’t speak. Anger made him tighten his grip on that fan until he felt its wooden edge pressing into his palm. It actually hurt, but not nearly enough to distract him from Suwoong’s voice. His cousin had noticed that he was no longer moving and asked for them to re-start. Kyungsoo, however, remained stationary.

“Are you not taking this seriously, Kyungie?” Suwoong actually sounded annoyed this time and that nickname of affection never sounded more artificial.

“I’ve been here since 5AM every weekend morning and am always one of the last to leave. Just because I am not yet as good as you doesn’t mean I am not trying!” There were exams coming, so much homework that he needed to take care of. Since the start of this survival show, his grades were taking a hit. Kyungsoo, who had always cared so much about his academics, opted to turn in papers late so he could work to not disappoint those watching him. Dancing, it was really fucking hard. One of the hardest things he had to learn and he had so little time to get it right. As a prideful person who needed control over every aspect of his life, just being in this room and opening himself up for criticism hurt. Sometimes Kyungsoo wanted to shout out the window what am I doing here? Wasn’t it his dream to go into business and become a rich ceo? Their family had wealth and influence, a few cards in the right pocket and he’d be rolling in cash. Business, damn, he was good at that stuff too. So why was he here, doing things he wasn’t good at and was continuing to struggle with?

It was as if somehow, while exploring a whim, he discovered a dream. Possibly the dream. And it was breaking down all of his walls and re-shaping his carefully constructed life. It felt too wonderful to walk away from, but it was also sort of killing him.

Kyungsoo threw his fan - part of its paper surface damp with perspiration - onto the ground. It landed with a soft but also ominous thud. Someone had turned off the music and the other contestants were looking at each other as they took in the severity of the situation. “You tell me if I am taking this seriously or not.” He raised his voice for the first time in...forever. He was never the type to yell, especially in public setting. This was something new, even to himself.

“Let’s have a break, please,” he said, eyes lowered. It was as if yelling took away his anger and left him only with shame. He should be better than this, should have held it in better...what was happening to him? He walked out of the practice room and no one attempted to stop him. Ten minutes of cooling down in the bathroom later, he returned to find the studio mostly empty. Apparently, Suwoong, Heejin and Eric headed out for lunch and Hyojin disappeared off to the convenience store. Kyungsoo didn’t mind and instead, found himself appreciative of the silence.

He picked up his fan from the ground and sat down, his legs too exhausted after an entire morning of practice. Seconds ticked by and the once comforting silent became grating as his outburst earlier returned to haunt him. In an effort to distract himself, Kyungsoo decided to practice some of his arm movements. One of the most difficult parts of this entire choreo was fan control, how they must ensure the fans opened fully on beat. While trying to perfect this, they broke quite a few fans already and that number was only going to increase as the days went by.

He flicked his wrist and the fan opened half way. He tried the same movement except this time harder and the prop nearly flew from his hands. Slightly frustrated, Kyungsoo took a few breaths to calm himself before attempting again. He just needed to figure out exactly how much force he needed to put into his hand and-

There were warm fingertips against his skin and he flinched in response. It was coach Ella, who must have sneaked upon him while he was focused on his fan work. She seemed unfazed by his response and tried once again to help him manoeuvring the fan, telling him about how to position his hand to make things easier. Eventually, they got off of the floor and she started helping him with his other dance parts. Ella was surprisingly patient as he explained what he wanted to achieve - as dance wasn’t his best skill, Kyungsoo was less focused on giving extra flair and more concerned about doing his part perfectly, paying attention to every detail. So the woman gave him advice on how he should stretch out his hand out, point his fingers and not clench his fingers into fists to give that extension. She also coached him on a turn he has to do near the middle of the song, how he should use his long sleeves to his advantage to make himself look longer and more graceful.

They talked about his outburst and while she did reprimand him on the lack of professionalism associated with throwing down his fan, the idol also showed some sympathy with his situation. Upon learning that Suwoong was his cousin, she even shared about her own MGA experience with her family. Their conversation eased away some of Kyungsoo’s discomfort and as they worked, Ella even took a hold of his hands at some point to show him how it should be done properly. Up close, he must admit that she really was an attractive woman. A faint blush eventually swept across his features. Oh, how the Luxe fanboys must be screaming with envy right now.

His smile, though small, became genuine as he tapped into the flow of the dance after the tutorial session. When Hyojin returned to the studio and saw his relaxed expression, the other contestant was decidedly relieved and ran to his side like a happy doggo. Kyungsoo took the sandwich Hyojin bought for the two of them at the local convenience store and petted the other male gently on the shoulder with a ‘thank you’. Hyojin attempted to sooth him and tried to convince him to play nice with Suwoong, to which Kyungsoo responded with a nod.

His mood was improved for the rest of the Sunday afternoon, but the anger returned during his car ride with Suwoong. His cousin decided to call him insufferable and Kyungsoo fired straight back. He ended up having to pull over at the side walk and the two of them really let each other have it. The conversation ended with Suwoong ditching the car and walking out into the night. Kyungsoo, though still livid, recalled the fact his cousin was a dumbass used to being driven around. “Where the hell are you going?” He demanded, rolling down the window and driving along Suwoong, who was stomping away dramatically. “To the trains!” His cousin responded, to which Kyungsoo could only offer some serious eye rolling because the other was going in the wrong direction.

Somehow, this actually eased the tension between them. From their conversation, Kyungsoo had at least gather that Suwoong was more comfortable criticizing him because he was family and at the end of the day, they’d never be able to hate each other. “Get back in the car,” he called out with some gentle reluctance. Suwoong tried to give him the ‘hmph’ at first, but as soon as Kyungsoo actually turned the car around, he hopped straight in. Kyungsoo hated to admit this, but even though his cousin was super annoying, high maintenance and picky, he was also kind of cute.

The two of them made up Sunday night and Suwoong came up with some reputation repairing ideas. They grabbed coffee and doughnuts to bring for the Monday practice and offered their apology to the group. Funny thing was neither he nor Suwoong enjoyed doughnuts but it felt like the right thing to bring. Hyojin sensed this was a good opportunity for a heart-to-heart and everyone made a circle. He talked about the tension, even going back to last week and expressing how he felt about Taeyang being eliminated instead of him. Hyojin was open and honest in a way Kyungsoo would likely never be but those admirable traits likely contributed to his later success collaborating with Eric. It really seemed like the two were working out their differences, just like he did with Suwoong. After that, they were back to practice, full speed ahead.

On Wednesday night, the contestants provided the three coaches each a fan with some written comments and their signatures. It was a cute gift idea. Kyungsoo struggled to find the right words so instead, he just wrote ‘thanks for everything’ along with a little drawing of a camellia flower, which he shall represent on the stage. He had always been a man of fewer words, this was his best effort but hopefully the coaches would understand. They all helped him a lot - Cheri with the vocals, Ella with the dance and Won with his hair. Yes, hair was part of the performance and Kyungsoo wanted his hair to be bouncy and soft so it would react appropriately to the natural wind effect generated by their fans. Coach Won, bless him, sent him a picture of his shampoo bottle straight from his own shower upon Kyungsoo’s request.

The performance day came and the stage was more beautiful than ever. Dressed in their long, traditional robes and equipped with a fan, the group introduced themselves as Youths over Flowers. Each of them introduced themselves then with their real name and their flower representation. Kyungsoo chose for himself Camellia, because one of his lines mentioned a red camellia and he took quite a liking to the vivid imagery it created. “I am Do Kyungsoo, Camellia of Youths over Flowers. Camellia flowers symbolize faithfulness and I promise to always be loyal to my audience. Thank you, I love you.” Ahh, he said it and it was every bit as embarrassing as he expected. Thankfully, Kyungsoo had a fan to hide behind after he delivered the shameful mini speech. His fan, same colour as everyone else, had a camellia flower drawn on it. The same flower was sewn into the bottom of his robe with silver thread by a skilled seamstress they were able to find.

As everyone finished the introductions, ending with Suwoong’s cringy fest, it was finally time to get into position. They hauled Suwoong back towards the centre of the stage, so he could stop talking about how he intended to take everyone’s breath away. Once they were in their starting positions, however, all signs of fun and games were wiped from their expressions. This was semi-finals and they had a show to put on. Kyungsoo had a feeling, that despite their struggles this week, they were going to give the audience a performance they’ll remember for a long time.

Music started and a thin layer of fog covered the surface of the stage. The lights were dimmed, a soft red that was almost romantic. They moved as one, extending their arms and flicking their fans. There was a satisfying sound as their fans collectively turned into half moons, perfectly on beat. It was a seemingly simple movement that took an insane amount of practice to ensure synchronization.

Kyungsoo will admit, when he first realized they’ll be dancing with fans, he thought of geisha dancers and that idea made him slightly uncomfortable. It wasn’t like he did not appreciate the beautiful geisha or looked down upon their career, but it wasn’t a character he could fully embrace. So, he allowed his memories to roll back, recalling a story he once heard about a tyrant king. To dethrone the king and end his reign of terror, a group of skilled assassins were recruited. Knowing the king’s paranoid nature, they disguised themselves as dancers and put on an entrancing performance. Their beauty illuminated the night and the king was so seduced that he did not realize his life was in danger until the dagger was buried deep into his chest.

They hid their faces behind the fans and Kyungsoo did not know what imagery his teammates summoned for characterization but when he pulled back his fan to reveal his eyes, he was out to kill, just...in the sexiest way possible. Rolling onto one knee, Kyungsoo listened to Hyojin as he calmly opened up their song. Suwoong was the next to take centre as the rest of them dropped. Heejin appeared after, her voice clear and sweet, giving perfect entrance for their first and very brief rap part. After that, Kyungsoo got his first chance to be heard. They got into a line with Kyungsoo in front, he swished his fan as he sang, making his movements fluid and dramatic as his teammates did the same with theirs behind him.

낮과 밤이 전부 너야 빈틈 ��이 꽉 채워

Eric joined him at the end of that line, boosting the vocal with a brief snippet of rap.

The next part of choreo had more difficult footwork, so Kyungsoo and Suwoong switched their parts from the original song and put Suwoong in the front so he could shine as a dancer.

His next part came when they formed a straight line across the stage. Kyungsoo turned to face the audience, gently tossing the right corner of his robe as he moved so the fabric swayed in the air.

밤의 안부에 널 닮은 붉은 동백이질투해

The fan, which had been pointed upwards in the air, became a half moon with a single flick of his wrist as it was brought, after a few swirls, to the front of his face. Kyungsoo smiled, but there was no moment to linger as they collectively turned with the exception of Suwoong, who moved towards the centre of the stage from the right, only to give it to Eric as the rap part came. Kyungsoo must say he was very impressed with Eric. They had perhaps only one or two rap lines in this song but were mostly singers or dancers. If their 15-years-old powerhouse didn’t step up, perhaps they would have to crop the parts out and miss out on that beautiful rap-singing contrast. Kyungsoo thought the kid did very well.

As soon as Eric’s part finished, Kyungsoo’s began:

일렁이는 내 맘도 낮과 밤이 전부 너야

This was the part where he had to raise his arms and spin. He practised this with Ella specifically, remember her tips on extending his arms and using the loose fabric of his sleeves to add to the illusion of height. This part was...slightly feminine, but they were at the point of go big or go home, and Kyungsoo practised this part too many times to still feel embarrassed about sliding a hand almost sensually down the side of his face and neck.

The chorus came once again and same as before, Kyungsoo switched places with Suwoong so his cousin could dance closer to the front of the stage. Hyojin started the chorus and Heejin finished it, giving Suwoong his time to show his vocal capabilities (which had vastly improved over the week) as they took the choreo to the floor. Hyojin went into the centre, raised his hand and sang with passion, which was Kyungsoo’s cue to get back into the centre, where he sang his lines and rested his head against Eric’s shoulder. The fluid movement almost reminded pleasantly him of his dance performance with Hyunggu a while ago.

신비로워 아름답고 따뜻했고

This was the part he fought for and he intended to make the most out of it, especially the half a second of pause he and Eric get at the end of their partially joined line. Kyungsoo looked towards the audience - the actual live audience, full of anticipation. He raised a brow as a corner of his lips tilted in a teasing smile. It was an expression that hopefully said you have no idea what’s coming.

Because they didn’t.

The stage suddenly became darker and the great wafts of fog which had disappeared after their song intro returned with vengeance. The light was blue instead of red, almost giving that day turned to night vibe as they danced. Kyungsoo and Suwoong switched places seamlessly, using the dim lighting to their advantage. Some of them jumped while others still did the full spin and gave the illusion of a jump. Their robes flowed and it was as if Youths Over Flowers were turning into fans themselves in the mysterious indigo light. They brought their hands to their lips, gave a light shh as if warning their potentially shocked audience to hold back those gasps because it wasn’t over.

The dance break itself wasn’t exactly technical, but it was very eye catching.

When the blue light faded and the stage was bright again, Heejin’s high note pierced through the air and each of the singers got a line before the song came to an end.

단 하나 너만 알아 찾아 헤맨 그곳 바로 너야

They posed, again as one to the beat of the final few notes. Then, before the stage darkened, they turned around and once more, flicked their fans out in perfect synchronization. That sound of fans opening, very similar to the one the audience would have heard in the beginning of the song, marked the end of their performance.

They thanked the judges and the live audience. Kyungsoo reached behind his back and tugged discreetly on Suwoong’s sleeve. “Good job,” he mouthed. That was his favourite stage to date and he felt, at least, that it was worth all of his efforts.

@rksuwoong, @ericxrk, @hyojinrk, @rkheejin, @rkwon, @rkcheri & @rkella

#wc: 4437 #RKMGA5 #RKMGA5GROUPS #tw; anxiety #tw; panic attack

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nevertickleasleepingbadger · 6 years ago

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Re-sorting the Weasleys

Ok first installment of a re-sorting series! One of the biggest weaknesses of the HP universe is the very flat, one sided sorting. Brave=Gryffindor, Smart=Ravenclaw, Kind=Hufflepuff, Cunning (Evil??)=Slytherin I understand that for some of the plot devices to work, certain characters had to be in certain houses, but it always came off as lazy to me that all the Weasleys were in Gryffindor (for decades???). I honestly never really understood whole families going into one house in general- considering how different all these people are, did the Sorting Hat just give up and assign all gingers to the red house? ANYWAY. Here’s my defense of where I think they should go, based on the fandom’s collective interpretations of the houses. And many thanks to @flockdynamics, for your discussion and help!

Arthur Weasley- Ravenclaw

At first, Arthur comes off as this very goofy character. Which he is, no doubt, but this man is also a genius- his whole job is spent undoing charms and hexes on muggle objects which undoubtedly involves creativity and skill. He is constantly tinkering and coming up with really inventive adjustments and improvements on objects- objects that few wizards understand the workings of at all! I saw a Weasley appreciation post awhile back that mentioned Arthur’s obsession with batteries and how he could be looking into the possibility of storing magical energy and I 100% believe this to be true. He’s not just collecting these items because they look fun, he’s studying them and trying to figure out how they work and how he can incorporate magic into muggle inventions. And he goes through the effort to write loopholes into his own laws so that what he’s doing isn’t strictly illegal which just kills me. One of the true hallmarks of Ravenclaws, beyond just plain intelligence, is cleverness and ingenuity (and a constant desire to learn and push the boundaries of understanding). Ravenclaws aren’t just interested in things you can learn from books and they encourage out-of-the-box thinking. One of the first things he does when he meets anyone connected to muggles is to immediately start asking questions and learning. Also don’t forget that he wrote (co-wrote?) the Muggle Protection Act. His demeanor is jubilant and laid back and he certainly shows great bravery at times, but his baseline behavior is to be in the background, steady and confident and pushing the boundaries in his own way. He is a great source of comfort to his family and to Harry. He always takes Harry seriously and does his best to protect him in the ways he can. In the muggle world, he would totally be that spacey college professor whose office is a mess with random artifacts and weird comics pinned up everywhere, but when you talk to them you realize they are about 10x smarter than you. Molly Weasley- Hufflepuff Ah, Molly- the badger indeed. Loving and fiercely protective. We hardly ever get to see Molly outside of the context of motherhood, but I imagine we see the worst of her temper as she attempts to raise 7 children amidst two wars. I think the Molly underneath all the stress is strong, empathetic, and comforting. We see her unkindness towards Fleur do a 180 as soon as she realizes that Fleur isn’t someone she needs to protect Bill from. She might not get points for patience, but she is certainly stubborn! Overall, Molly is deeply emotional and she keeps her emotions close to the surface. She is soft (in a good way) and warm and just unbelievably capable. The intensity of her kindness towards Harry (knitting him a sweater his first year even though she had only once briefly met him because she guessed, presumably from Ron’s letters, that he needed a family). That’s the kind of person Molly is. Bill Weasley- Ravenclaw I struggled a bit with Bill because the age gap between Harry and Bill might skew our perception of him a bit. Bill is certainly the cool, calm, and collected older brother. The hair, the earring, the swagger- I absolutely adore Bill. Bill always comes off as a bit reserved- not shy but just someone who doesn’t say more than they have to. But this could just be his age and maturity compared to his younger siblings. His family’s obvious disdain for his fiance, Fleur, seems to roll off his back and we rarely see him raise his voice or lose his cool. He is just an incredibly competent man and wizard. Skills with curse breaking and wards really scream Ravenclaw to me- these are skills that take perseverance and creativity to master- something that might not mesh well with the brute force and brashness of a Gryffindor. He is obviously someone who can work with Goblins, which tells me he is tactful and careful and must have paid attention in History of Magic. And how could I forget, Head Boy and 12 Outstanding OWLs. Slowclap for Bill Weasley, everyone. Charlie Weasley- Hufflepuff?? Who knows because it’s a crime we have almost nothing to go on with this fabulous character. A well built, quidditch playing, dragon wrangler?? Cmon JK Rowling- we need more Charlie Weasley. His love for Care of Magical Creatures automatically makes me gravitate towards Hufflepuff (Hagrid is my next big installment post, don’t worry) and the little we see of him shows us a popular, warm, and dedicated guy. But that’s all I can really say! Percy Weasley- Slytherin I know this one is going to be controversial so let me start out by saying this is partially based on a rejection of JKR’s version of Slytherin. I’m not sure if we are just supposed to blame Harry’s unreliable POV, but Slytherin is a mess. So if we strip away some of the ugliest caricatures of the house, Slytherins are crafty, resourceful, driven, and deeply protective of tradition. Percy is seriousssss. He’s a snob, absolutely. He sees everything as an opportunity and he feels he is fighting an uphill battle to separate himself from his family, who don’t share his commitment to self-betterment. He bleeds ambition and unfortunately, because of the political climate that he grows up in, he has the perfect personality to get swept up in government corruption. He realizes his mistakes, but he is prideful and it takes him awhile to face his family and own up to them. We see him full of regret but not yet able to apologize at Christmas during HBP, and of course his arc comes full circle at the Battle of Hogwarts. Tradition and correctness are very important to Percy and he needs constant validation that he is in control. He is in a bit of an awkward age gap with his siblings and I think often ends up as the odd man out and as such, he overcompensates by trying to rise above the chaos of his family and he isolates himself in the process. Percy is also bullied relentlessly by Fred and George, and this really hardens him and pushes him further away. I think it is probably good that he wasn’t sorted into Slytherin in canon, because the divide between Percy and the other Weasleys is already wide and it would have really hurt Percy in the long run. But that being said, JKR wrote the perfect Slytherin with Percy, she just didn’t act on it. He could never have survived as the odd man out in his family in Slytherin, but in a different universe, he fits. Fred & George- Gryffindor I struggled with them because in a way, I wanted to split them up because I think they really can encompass more than one house but I think that F&G are a FORCE together and need to stay as such. I was originally leaning towards Ravenclaw for them just based on the extreme wit and creativity they possess, but as @flockdynamics pointed out to me, I think their intentions are very important. Life is a joke for these two and it’s full of color and noise. They are whip smart and very ambitious and honestly would have thrived in any house- I don’t see them letting house boundaries define them (especially if we cast aside the Gryffindor ancestry of the Weasleys). But their inventions and ingenuity don’t stem from a desire to research and push the boundaries of wizard invention. They just want to make stuff and blow shit up and have a good time. And sure, they want to build a business and make the money they never had growing up, but making people happy and bringing humor into the world are their #1 goals. They are brave in the most foolhardy, Gryffindor way (U-No-Poo anyone?) and never back down from a challenge. They act before thinking and can be bullies (their treatment of Percy, Ron, and sometimes Hermione definitely comes off this way). They often don’t stop to consider emotional tact because they really just live in their own world where everything is fun. Ron- Gryffindor In all her missteps with the houses, I think JKR spent a lot of time making the golden trio fit into her views of Gryffindor traits. Ron is often tactless and self-centered but he is also deeply empathetic (especially towards the end as he’s maturing). I think bravery is an oversimplification of Gryffindor- I think Gryffindor to me is more about being just. They definitely exhibit overt bravery by going off on adventures or putting themselves in danger for loved ones. But moreover, Gryffindors are motivated by an unerring sense of justice and sense of how things should be- they often can’t see the nuances or slow down to consider the best course of action before diving in. Ron’s relationship with Harry is one of the best teenage boy relationships I’ve seen. Ron is there for Harry and legit willing to fight by his side time and time again. He knows when to be supportive, when to give Harry space, when to argue, when to capitulate. His misgivings with Hermione are a different story of dumb teenage hormones and misunderstandings. Ron gives 100% and puts his life on the line for his friends. He really struggles with deep feelings of inadequacy compared to his brothers and struggles to find a place for himself being in Harry’s and their shadows. This really overshadows his underlying personality and makes him act out. I can actually see adult Ron acting much more like a Hufflepuff: stalwart, dependable, and caring but also fiercely protective of those he’s close to. But his personality growing up is definitely Gryffindor. Ginny- Slytherin?? But probably Gryffindor Ginny, Ginny, Ginny. man this one is hard. One look at my blog will probably tell you she is one of my favorite characters, but she is also one that suffers from Harry’s unreliable POV. She went through unimaginable trauma at the age of 11 and was saved by none other than her girlhood crush/brother’s best friend/famous quasi family member. It’s an odd position for her to be in. She is broken and deeply embarrassed and spends time rebuilding herself away from Harry. Which is completely understandable, but it means the audience suffers from not getting to know Ginny until much later and she keeps herself at arms length with Harry until their relationship begins. I think Ginny is largely misunderstood by the fandom and the complete obliteration of her character by the movies doesn’t help. BUT, damn if Ginny is not a BAMF. Sneaky, witty, sometimes harsh and sharp but also loving and bubbly and effervescent. She is the embodiment of “bitch, I won’t hesitate”. Growing up with 6 brothers really pushes Ginny to be rough, unapologetic, and outspoken and we see that side of her often- berating Fleur, hexing/crashing into Zacharias, tripping Ron, etc. Her friendship with Luna gives us glimpses into the softer sides of Ginny. As much as fans love Luna, it always strikes me as odd that they easily dismiss the person Luna seems closest to as boring and mean. Luna seems like an excellent judge of character and not one to seek out negative people (but I digress). I think Ginny is a complex character that the books barely scratch the surface of. By the end, Ginny really exudes confidence and she bravely takes on part of the role of running the DA during the darkest year at Hogwarts. In a world away from the blood purity nonsense, I would totally put her in Slytherin. Her tenacity, perseverance, and cunning really match up well with many of the things Slytherins claim to possess and she shows us time and time again she is willing to push social boundaries to make herself heard/seen. The prejudices associated with Slytherin muddy the waters so in canon, Gryffindor is a good place for her.

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so-shiny-so-chrome · 6 years ago

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Witness: Donda

Creator name (AO3): Donda

Creator name (Tumblr): thatonezombiecosplayer

Link to creator works: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Donda

Q: Why the Mad Max Fandom?

A: I kind of just tend to find one thing I like, and latch onto it with a deathgrip, though there's not really one specific reason I latched onto Mad Max. The only post-apocalyptic thing I had any interest in prior to Fury Road was a comic called Romantically Apocalyptic, but I wouldn't have called myself a die-hard fan of the genre. I think it was just that Fury Road was such a fantastic movie in so many ways that it really caught my attention, and then when I got involved in the fandom, I found it to be all around a really really great group of people, and they were talking about such interesting things, and I just fell in love and decided this was my fandom home! Since then, I've made some really good friends through this fandom and gotten involved in Wasteland Weekend because of it, so this fandom will always remain near and dear to me.

Q: What do you think are some defining aspects of your work? Do you have a style? Recurrent themes?

A: I really like to take this dark, gritty world, and make it kind of light and fun, honestly. Or at least as much as one can without completely detracting from the reality of the state of the world. I've written a couple of darker or more serious fics, but my favorite things to write involve putting a touch of magic or an interesting little twist into the world, and handling the sillier side of things.

Q: Which of your works was the most fun to create? The most difficult? Which is your most popular? Most successful? Your favourite overall?

A: I think I had equal amounts of fun writing my Pocket Sized and Corvus Cormax, because they were just light and silly and kind of intriguing situations for me. I also really really enjoyed writing No Going Back, even though it was on the more serious side of things for me. The prompt just grabbed my imagination, and I was really inspired to write from start to finish. For most difficult, I'll have to go with Consonance, because I am presently stuck on it and have been for months and if you were reading and enjoying that one, I am so so sorry. D: Convalescence got the most hits and kudos overall, but I think that was mostly just because it was posted very early in the Fury Road fandom. Just based on response, I'd say Corvus Cormax was my most popular/successful, and was also my favorite overall.

Q: How do you like your wasteland? Gritty? Hopeful? Campy? Soft? Why?

A: Hopeful with a bit of humor and sometimes a little wasteland magic. I'm into escapism first and foremost, so the least like our own world I can make things, the more enjoyable.

Q: Walk us through your creative process from idea to finished product. What's your prefered environment for creating? How do you get through rough patches?

A: The idea itself usually sparks scenes in my head, and I build around those. Sometimes I'll be writing along and think of something I'd like to happen down the line, or a scene will just start playing through my head, so I'll go write that, and connect the pieces later. Which can sort of cause problems, because when I go writing all the good bits first, filling in the bits in between that are less interesting can get tedious. When I hit a patch that just leaves me completely stuck, most often running the fic by someone else and bouncing ideas around with them helps me tremendously. I tend to like to write from the comfort of my room where there aren't a lot of distractions, but sometimes I'll write on my phone if I'm away from my computer and bored or inspired.

Q: What (if any) music do you listen to for help getting those creative juices flowing?

A: Honestly I basically always listen to my entire music library on random. It's super eclectic, but I'm so familiar with all my songs that it's basically just background noise. Very occasionally I will skip a song that's not suiting the mood of what I'm writing, but mostly anything goes.

Q: What is your biggest challenge as a creator?

A: Getting stuck sucks so much and is my most common problem, because sometimes I feel like I have just exhausted all ideas and there's nowhere to go. Bouncing ideas off of other people always helps, but often I avoid that either because I don't want to bother people, or because I'm super protective of my works until I consider them done. I don't know, I just like people to read the work in it's finalized form, as I intend it to be read, and not in some incomplete messy state.

Q: How have you grown as a creator through your participation in the Mad Max Fandom? How has your work changed? Have you learned anything about yourself?

A: I'm sure my writing has improved, but it's been such a fluid process that I'm not really sure! I guess I've grown and my work has changed in that I've gotten braver in my ideas, more willing to just go for something and not worry about people thinking it's silly or I'm weird.

Q: Do you have any favourite relationships to portray? What interests you about them?

A: I'm aro/ace myself, so fandom ships have never been a big draw of mine. I tag a lot of my works with "platonic soulmates" because I've just fallen in love with the idea of Max and Furiosa being very close to each other, but not romantically or sexually. They have a really interesting dynamic, and I like to explore them really getting to know each other completely platonically.

Q: How does your work for the fandom change how you look at the source material?

A: I've explored some headcanons in my writing, and built on ideas in ways that let me sort of see more into the movie, imagine things under the surface beyond the canon, and feel like I know the motivations behind certain characters' actions, even if it's never explained.

Q: Do you prefer to create in one defined chronology or do your works stand alone? Why or why not?

A: My works stand alone for the most part. I've got two series that each consist of a couple fics that follow the same timeline, but otherwise each of my fics is a completely different world.

Q: To break or not to break canon? Why?

A: *Chanting* break canon, break canon, break canon. I like playing with new ideas! Sometimes it's fun to explore some headcanons with fic and build on the movie that way, but I've found that taking the canon and changing a detail and letting it play out from there is the most fun.

Q: Share some headcanons.

A: Immortal!Max is my biggest and most-loved headcanon. I like the idea that he's only sort of peripherally aware of it, too. He knows it's been a pretty long time since the fall of the world, and he's catching on that people who appear his age were born after the fall, but if it even has sunk in that he's not aging and not dying, he actively tries not to think about it too much because that seems like Too Much and he's not ready to face that. He's accepted it as a possibility, but he doesn't put much weight on it. It's just part of him now, and all he can do is live with it.

Q: If you work with OCs walk us through your process for creating them. Who are some of your favourites?

A: Eheh... My OCs are basically fleshed out juuuust enough to be believable and I put zero effort into them beyond that, to be honest. They're often only there to help along the story for the canon characters, and then I toss them away and never think about them again.

Q: What advice can you give someone who is struggling to make their own works more interesting, compelling, cohesive, etc.?

A: I don't know if my methods will work for anybody else, but three things: 1) imagine the scene like it's a movie playing out in front of you, before writing, while writing, and while re-reading. It helps me keep track of who is where, what's going on, and it makes any continuity mistakes really jump out at me. 2) really get into your characters' heads, think like they do, and share their motivations for what they're doing and their thoughts at what is going on around them in your writing. I think that helps people relate to them more and get into the story more, and it makes you think about how characters would react in realistic, if not always outwardly reasonable, ways. 3) Proof read like a crazy person. This may be weird, but similar to how I get into my characters' heads when I write, I also sort of get into... well, not my own head, when I re-read my works. I try to put myself in a different perspective, and proof-reading my fics with a different mindset really helps me see things that didn't end up making sense the first time around, or sound off, or might be confusing if you don't already know where I was going with it. If I'm thinking like I was when I wrote it, of course everything's going to make sense and work the way I imagined it. If I throw out those preconceptions and intentions, it can almost seem completely new to me, like it would be to a reader reading it for the first time.

Q: Have you visited or do you plan to visit Australia, Wasteland Weekend, or other Mad Max place?

A: I would love to visit Australia, though honestly when I do, priority number one is going to be bats, weird marsupials, and other wildlife. Australia stands out to me mostly as being this weird giant island where evolution just went fucking crazy. But Wasteland Weekend! Hoo boy am I involved in Wasteland Weekend, let me tell you, and I absolutely love it. I love the themed areas and how they completely immerse you in the world, I love the community (seriously, some of the best people I have ever met) and even though it was originally built on Mad Max, which is generally a pretty violent, hard world, I love the atmosphere people create there: the idea that even if the world ended and society as we know it collapsed, people would coexist, look out for each other, and celebrate life. 10/10, highly recommend, hit me up if you plan on attending in the future.

Q: Tell us about a current WIP or planned project.

A: I've unfortunately fallen out of writing quite a bit for the time being, so no planned projects outside of what I'm currently working on, but boy let me tell you how much I love the one I'm co-writing with Catlady! We've put a ton of thought and worldbuilding into it, and a lot of character development in the works for Max, as well as his developing relationship with Furiosa. It's an AU that really gets my imagination going, and I'm super excited for some of the things we have planned. If you like Fae and wasteland magic and discovering/learning to accept oneself, go check out our fic Forgotten Ways!

Thank you @thatonezombiecosplayer

#Mad Max Fandom Creator Spotlight #Mad Max Fandom Spotlight #mad max fanfic #mad max fanfic author spotlight #fury road fanfic #fanfic author spotlight #donda #thatonezombiecosplayer

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themangaguide · 3 years ago

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The improvement takes place

An amusing as well as charming story:

My very first experience with this is masca manga. Watching it as my personal preferred tags of humor, college life as well as love, as well as among the most preferred kinds, I determined I 'd provide a try to it. Prior to ending to check out remainder instantaneously attached, I find out about 50 areas. Nonetheless, following, I had actually been bogged down with so on and task job to proceeding it and also I never navigated. I continued in regards to a 4-month break as well as did not have celebration for anime or manga at that time. Nevertheless, recently summer season as well as the celebrities arranged began and that I had time to look at. Tale: 7 The account is not distinctive, or can it be a work of art. However, it's its advantages. The college romcom style has currently been more effective, which isnot the extremely first time that individuals've observed one incorporated with unnatural. In addition, it is not the very first time that people've observed an anime. And also the figures within the harem (my estimation, others believe that hareem is not proper) are not one of one of the most distinct both. But I will certainly reach that. The story, with data from the initial event as well as also the name, is concentrated around our character, the delinquent of the university, Yamada Ryu. To Shiraishi Urara, whom I think of the female personality, we're likewise introduced upon his launch. Unlike Yamada, who's a terrible delinquent, Shiraishi could be described as the perfect student: studious tranquil, as well as appealing. Essentially, they're opposites. The piece happens when the actions walks up as well as pressures Shiraishi apart. They both journey although doing this and drop the steps down. Yamada gets up within the infirmary, merely to recognize that he's today in Shiraishi's body in the area of their own after passing out. As time passes, they comprehend that switching systems is accomplished using a hug. On the basis of the name, we have the ability to expect there are each utilizing their very own energy, 7 witches. The power within the story is not the item itself, nonetheless its delivery. It is nothing we' venot viewed as the piece is certainly interesting. Nonetheless, just exactly how it's performed is what establishes it aside. The anime does rule out itself very seriously. When it should certainly be a humor it comprehends, also it understands when to be constantly a more serious, excellent thriller story. General, the item is fascinating and also it is shipped perfectly, yet isn't any kind of work of art.

Art: 8 In attracting i want to cry with you on thursday manga-style numbers, today I dabble a little, yet I am no judge of excellent artwork. Nonetheless, in fact I will certainly tell this line looks fantastic. the tones are generally lively, as well as also a lot of the abilities are well-drawn and pop-out. However this artwork score's primary factor may be the identity style. The numbers for that reason are simply divided from one another as well as are produced solely. All of the numbers are made in methods which makes them hard to fail to remember, plus they are distinct in the other pupils to indicate their importance in the direction of the background.

Sound: 7 For the component, the soundtrack was for me personally. I' dnot go out my approach to take note of it, although I' dnot mind hearing the soundtrack while watching. Which indicates you may think that noise will certainly be a bit lower, and actually, I would certainly put it around 6 or 5. However, ED as well as the OP are extremely enticing, as well as at 7 alone, I position audio for these.

Individuals: 7 The numbers are not precisely unique when I mentioned previously. You have the tsundere the loli and so on for the part, they endure some sort of growth and are rather likeable. The improvement takes place much more rapidly as well as occasionally appears awkward and pressed since the sequence is reduced right into 12 attacks. The sole 2 witches who I believe get any kind of type of enhancement that is considerable are Odagiri Nene as well as Shiraishi Urara, that's separately my personal fave of the whole lot. For that remainder, their reasons are normally defined with a single-point, that is often simply given instead of described. Therefore, the numbers are pleasurable, but usually do not have degree beyond that a person level.

Fulfillment: 9 I do not operate as the greatest critic, and you will discover qualities for this anime. Although you'll locate flaws, if you do not think a great deal of while checking out and also proceed being used the right goals, you will arise possibly pleased as well as happy. The closing resolves every one of the concerns, despite the fact that I really might in fact see it showing up a range away. Favorable, it is adage and expected, however there's lots of satisfaction offered here. Opt for what it's: unnatural romcom having a scattering of account, a delightful. You'll possibly wind up unhappy must you prepare for much more from this.

Total: 8 Yamada-Kun to 7-nin no Majo had me giggling often as well as was a satisfying sight. It had actually been a great understanding, and that I might happily mention that it's probably worth your very own time. However, lots of displays are not, although it is no work of art. It ranks pretty highly among my seen anime, although that I'venot viewed that lots of lately. After that this is not for you if you require a hefty, plot-driven situation. If you desire a jovial romcom with terrific aspects, take a look at Yamada-kun to 7-nin no Majo. You will certainly not be dissatisfied. I extremely suggest it to any person who like anime manga. If you would like to learn more, please visit: https://jocelynhonore8910.wixsite.com/learnaboutmanga/post/nb947qru2w2mx8qdhzsk21649873829

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pellicano-sanguino · 6 years ago

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Random thoughts while watching... OSK Revue?

I finally saw my first OSK Revue show (Dracula, 2017), so thought I'd write about it. This is not a proper review, just a bunch of random thoughts. I will be making a lot of comparisons to Takarazuka in this, and please understand that I do not mean to imply that OSK is just a zuka copycat, I simply wanted to compare the two and see what they have in common and what not (also, all opinions are about this production and these actresses only, I'd need to see more shows to form a proper, better educated opinion on OSK's style as a whole.).

First impression was a surprise at how small the production is. I knew OSK isn't as big as zuka, but still, the theater's stage was very small and there were only about ten actresses, many of them pulling several roles, I think. I felt like I was watching a Bow Hall show cut in half both by stage length and actress numbers. Having a small number of actresses causes there to be some slower, quieter scenes, where a character monologues for a while so that everyone else has time to do the costume change.

Even so, it still felt very similar to zuka. Despite the small stage, they do dance, including a post-show minirevue that includes the main otokoyakus dancing in pretty, sparkly tailcoats and a duet dance with the main leads. The makeup is similar but there's some small differences that I'm not expert enough to point out (don't know anything about makeup). There are some stylistic differences in zuka makeup too, so it felt like I was watching a sixth zuka troupe and this was their troupe's personal style.

Minirevue dancing (and look, some parade feathers. Small feathers but feathers none the less.)

Otokoyaku still sing like otokoyaku and musumeyakus sound just like zuka musumes. I liked the leading otokoyaku's voice, it was pleasant to listen. Though she has to do a lot of angry angsting throughtout the musical, which is occasionally bad for her voice, making it sound like she has a bit of a sore throat. The songs were ok, nothing particularly memorable or catchy. A lot of the music is rather simple, like piano music and such.

I admit, when I was putting the disk in the DVD player, I was chanting in my head ”Please follow the book at least barely, please don't be weird and rewrite the story wildly.” Well, no such luck, this isn't a book faithful adaptation. Which unfortunately leads to me not having a clue what the hell is going on most of Act 1. But I am happy that it's not a comedy or a super weird adaptation.

I have to say that seeing a completely serious take on a vampire musical is a breath of fresh air and something I wish zuka could do. Don't get me wrong, I love the lighthearted vampire shows like Seal of Roses (which maybe didn't aim for lighthearted but kinda accidentally became one). Zuka always makes the vampire stories, well... kinda weird (I've already ranted about the randomness, plot holes and inconsistent vampire lore in my Random Thoughts While Watching Zuka #4). I appreciate them thinking outside the box and surprising me instead of recycling the most generic vampire story plots and tropes, but as a vampire lover I would die for vampire show that actually takes itself seriously. I suppose the Poe Family show is a serious take on the subject (no comedic parts or weird story elements), but that is probably thanks to the source material. Zuka can do cool&dark, they've done Elisabeth, so if they wanted they could make truly awesome vampire shows.

While I said that this is a serious take on a vampire story, there's still a short comedic song number in the beginning of Act 1, where a bunch of reporters try to interview Dracula after his arrival at London, only to have him scream NO COMMENTS at them.

This show uses sound and screen effects a lot. Most of the time they make sense (like hearing the sound of a train in the station) but there are moments where I hear a random noise or see strange images projected on the screens and go ”What the hell was that?”

There are only three big roles in this show: Dracula, Mina and Jonathan Harker. There's also this one lady in black who I suspect to be the spirit of Dracula's dead wife, who he grieves and longs for all the time. So yeah, the beginning of Act 2 reveals to us that this show has taken inspiration from Coppola's Dracula and lifts the vampire's origin from the movie. He was a warlord in medieval times (which means he's dressed in armor and has a sword YES me likey) and somehow a false letter was brought to his wife claiming that he had fallen in battle, which led to her committing suicide. When human Drac got home to discover his wife dead, he was devastated and broken, that is, until he hears that the church refuses to bury his wife because suiciders are sinners who go to hell. There's a literal DUN DUN DUUUUN sound effect as the count builds up rage, then curses God and allows the forces of evil to corrupt his body in order to revenge. He then proceeds to kill all of the priests/monks/whatever the church folks were supposed to be.

This slaughter of innocent unarmed humans would be brutal and super dramatic, but the fight choreography leaves... much to improve. Yeah, zuka battle choreos can look like they're from the 60's Batman too, with punches that miss by a mile, but here... the stabs are so lazy it looks like the poor victims are literally walking into his sword.

If Heaven won't accept

my suicided wife

I'll follow her to Hell!

(...and lick her knife.)

Not gonna lie, this is something I haven't seen zuka do. Sure, they've implied licking things, but it's always done quite swiftly and * elegantly * and not, well, like this. Tongue out and all, literally licking the knife prop.

I was curious to see if the kisses are still fake or not, since OSK is free to have their own traditions and don't have to follow rules set by Hankyu. Also, I keep hearing rumors that OSK is supposedly more daring than zuka when it comes to love scenes. Not in this show, at least. The romantic scenes are very chaste and more cute than sexy (also, the blood drinking scene, while definitely romanticized and very nice&dramatic, not any hotter than the blood drinking scenes in zuka). And the kisses are very much fake. Oh well, the actresses are spared of messing up their lipstick.

Speaking of messing up lipstick, I know that stain is supposed to be blood but it looks like a group of amorous ladies gave the count several sloppy kisses.

So, my guess for the plot is that Dracula comes to London in search for the woman who is the reincarnation of his wife. To lure women for him to see, he puts up... a fashion show or something? Dresses are on display, including dead wife's wedding dress. Which Mina gets to wear, and Dracula is immediately convinced she's the incarnation and for the rest of the musical never calls Mina by her real name, just by the wife's name. Which is... Elisabeth. I don't remember what the wife's name was in Coppola's movie, but still, the dramatic way Dracula pronounces this name does make it sound like it was lifted from another musical.

In Act 2 Jonathan, on his way to rescue his girlfriend from the vampire's castle, meets an annoying little kid. And yeah, just like in zuka, there are no child actors in OSK, children are played by adult women using cutesy kiddie voice and being super genki. But then the kid finds the knife that Elisabeth used to suicide herself and turns to face the audience while holding it, and I was like ”Great. The annoying kid has turned into a creepy kid.” If the child had turned out to be a vampire and in team Drac all along, that would have been an awesome plot twist. But instead he's actually an angel or something like that, providing Jonathan with the weapon that can kill the vampire.

Dracula has a bunch of vampiric minions at his castle, not just the three brides. I have to ask, what is it with vampire shows having one main vampire who behaves normally and then having a bunch of background vampires/minions who speak/sing like they're high as a kite and lumber around dancing artsy inteeeerpretive dances? It's... weird. Why are some vampires normal and some complete fruitbats?

This Dracula must be the angstiest version of the character I've ever seen. There's occasionally great moments where he's charismatic, seductive or in rage mode, but the majority of time he is either silently depressed or actively whining (even many of his angry scenes come out as more whiny than aggressive). It's a very dialogue heavy show and because of the language barrier and free adapting of the story, I have no idea what his angsty dialogues are about. But whatever he says, he actually manages to win Mina's sympathy and they dance together. Even if they kiss, I still think Mina's feelings are more pity and less sincere romantic interest. Also, I should point out that I have nothing against depressed, angsty, reluctant vampires in general, it's just that I don't usually associate that kind of behavior with Dracula (depression and angst is more sir Francis Varney's thing.). Dracula is cold, ruthless, cunning and irredeemably evil, not some emotional lovelorn wreck.

I have said this before and will say again: Dracula does not aishiteiru.

Jonathan makes an attempt to save Mina but doesn't get to kill the count. Which is good because while the Jonathan of the book would definitely want and be able to fight the count, this musical portrayed the character as a cute and awkward softie nerd (I approve, not all male heroes need to be tough guys) and avoiding getting his hands wet with blood was a good move. Poor guy would be traumatized for life, even if it would be to save his girlfriend, he's just not a killer. Instead, Dracula decides to let the lovers go free and suicides himself, like he usually does in adaptations where they make him have a romance with Mina.

You know how in zuka there's the tradition that in the end the dead characters make an appearance dressed in white, to sing and prance around in an afterlife epilogue. Well, not in this show, but there is something kinda similar. In the ending scene the spirit of Elisabeth appears behind the dying count and poses dramatically with him, spreading her cape like white bat wings, taking him with her to afterlife. I think it looks cool.

To end this, let's talk about the blood drinking scene. In all vampire stories, these are the most important scenes, in my opinion. Blood drinking is what vampires do, it's their trademark thing, and if you chicken out of showing it or handle it lazily, then why the hell are you making a vampire story in the first place. You don't make Phantom of the Opera adaptation and fail to have the unmasking scene be the most dramatic and memorable scene, and similarly, you don't make a vampire story and fail to deliver the blood drinking scenes properly. Yes, I have weirdly strong opinions about this, deal with it.

Very early in Act 1 we see Dracula suffer from malnutrition, his hair turning gray and his knees failing, making him slump to the ground, very visibly suffering. For emergency he empties a small vial of blood that doesn't seem to make him get any better. And it is this moment when Jonathan decides to visit him for the first time for work-related reasons (no idea what his profession is in this story. In the fashion industry?). So, we have a thirsty vampire and a nice, cute bloodbag in the same room all alone.

Me: Drink him!

Dracula: Nope. I'd rather suffer. :)

What the hell? In the book he totally noms Jonathan. Is this because he's a male? This Dracula afraid to drink from someone who has icky boy blood? Oh well, he gets better later anyway, so I assume he gets some blood off-stage. But still, it was very confusing to see a starving vampire not take advantage of an opportunity of some easy blood.

Well, later Dracula is introduced to Mina and immediately decides ”This is the One.” And I cheer him on.

Me: Drink her!

Dracula: No. Now is not a good time. :)

Me: Damnit! DRINK SOMEBODY!!!

We have to wait all the way to the end of Act 1, but finally, we get a genuine on-screen blood drinking scene. Just as important as the moment of blood drinking itself is what leads up to it. In this musical it's Jonathan piecing together all the clues and finally getting Dracula's real identity (in a rather nerdy monologue of stuff like ”...Dracul means Dragon, and the A at the end makes it Son of the Dragon... wasn't there a warlord named like that in Romania hundreds of years ago...”).

Nerdsplaining time!

Terrified with his discovery he tries to save Mina, who Dracula has just kidnapped, spilling the beans for her as well. The revelation of Dracula's vampiric nature scares the two humans and there's plenty of dialogue that goes over my horizon, but I do get that the thing that makes Dracula snap is when Mina confesses to loving Jonathan.

The jealous vampire then starts to torture Jonathan by... some kind of Darth Vader mind-choking magic. Well, I suppose it's choking, because Jonathan holds his hands around his throat as if struggling against invisible fingers, but the sound effect doesn't suggest choking at all. It actually sounds much more gruesome and painful, a nasty ripping sound, as if the count is telekineticly tearing the poor man limb from limb and simultaneously flaying him alive. Eww, it's a gross sound effect.

Mina obviously can't idly just watch as her boyfriend is painfully tortured to death while she has the power to put an end to it. To save Jonathan, she loudly exclaims that she doesn't love him. And the count, being a little bit of an idiot here, buys it. Strangely, Jonathan seems to buy it too, crying Mina's name in disbelief. The torture ends (thank goodness), and to make sure no harm comes to Jonathan, Mina tells Dracula that if you're really a vampire and if it's blood you want, you can have mine!

Just let me gather this bothersome veil...

...and Behold! Vampire bait.

She dramaticly pulls the veil of the wedding dress on one shoulder and reveals her neck. I love this. And so does Dracula. This is the one moment where his eyes actually light up with passion and while he attempts to stay cool, you can see his chest rise as his breathing gets faster with excitement. Darn right, count. Blood offered by free will is the best stuff there is. And it was about time you finally drank someone.

It's always interesting when humans offer their blood to the vampire out of free will, because there's usually good and complex reasons behind it, and this is no exception. Mina doesn't offer her blood out of sympathy or under the influence of vampiric hypnosis or even being seduced by the pretty blood drinker. It's offered by free will but it's very much not concensual. The offer of blood is the only way she can distract the vampire long enough to let Jonathan escape and get help. By playing along with the count's delusions about Mina being the reincarnation of his wife, she is cleverly buying time, manipulating him. Only, unfortunate for these two, there is no van Helsing or any other member of the book's league of merry vampirehunting men in this show for Jonathan to run to, so all he can do is to follow them to the castle and attempt a lone rescue mission (which fails).

Frankly, the one who eventually defeats Dracula (kinda) is Mina, who manages to win the count's sympathy (making him learn the good old ”if you really love someone, you'll want what's best for them and let them go instead of selfishly trying to force them to stay with you”). And this blood drinking scene is the first time we see that she is aware of the power she has over the vampire. Maybe in the end she didn't exactly intend to make him commit suicide, just trying to make him let them go, but old Drac was living a horribly depressed and angsty unlife anyway, so it doesn't surprise me that he decided to end it. That's why the (kinda). Mina has great influence over Dracula but I do think his decision to die a final death seems to be not a result of manipulation but a genuine decision. Though he still technically makes her do it, by forcibly placing the knife in her hands and then grabbing her wrists, stabbing himself, making her involuntarily deal the killing blow. Kinda dick move (Mina is quite horrified of this, understandably), but at least I'm happy Mina doesn't kill herself too in this one (yes, I'm still angry at that ending in 2011 Wao Youka's Dracula. The count kills himself so Mina can go back to being human and back to Jonathan. And then the dumb woman makes the count's sacrifice completely pointless by throwing away the life he attempted to save.) Dracula ends his unlife but Mina and Jonathan return to the world of the living, where they belong.

Final random thought: Knightly warlord Dracula looks a bit like Lancelot’s long lost, dangerously unhinged brother. (it’s the wig and the silver armor with blue details. The actresses are very different.)

#osk revue #dracula #random thoughts while watching osk

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kittae · 7 years ago

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The Witch Switch

pairing: Yoongi x reader

genre: witch!AU, catshifter/catfamiliar!Yoongi, very low-key hogwarts!AU

word count: 8321 (help me)

A/N: started off as a halloween drabble but escalated. sorry for the slight delay! special thanks to my love @dailydoseofdia for helping me out when i got stuck!

MASTERLIST

⟶ Halloween prompts masterlist

⟶ Halloween prompts WIPs

“And how exactly do you see this plan working out? Let me have a peek inside that walnut-sized brain of yours and tell me which part has convinced you that this is a great idea.”

“You know, if you’re just here to lounge around and raid my stash of catnip while making sassy comments, you can leave again, Yoongi. Go scare some mortals or something.”

“That only works on friday the 13th, you know that. Besides, i’m already on my seventh life, gotta lay low for a bit.”

You scoffed, glaring at your familiar when it was clear he had no intention of getting off your couch while he nibbled on your last leaves of catnip, his jet black ears twitching in contentment. You’d told him not to come to your lab when you were working unless you needed his help but you’d never actually expected him to listen.

“Then go get high in your room, Yoongi. I need to concentrate for this to work and you’re constantly distracting me with your nagging.” You grumbled irritably, cutting up some Lacewing flies and adding them to the cauldron of boiling broth.

“No can do. If i’m not here to protect you, who will?”

“Protect me from what? You’re a cat, get over yourself.”

“From your own idiocy. Seriously, making a glow-up potion hoping some sleazy guy would notice you? That’s pathetic, ___.” Yoongi rolled his eyes at you, but couldn’t keep a low and contrasting purr from reverberating through his chest when the catnip started to kick in.

“It’s either that or a love potion and considering all the horror stories i’ve heard about those, the choice was easily made. Besides, Park Jimin is not sleazy. Where could you possibly get that idea from?”

“Oh, i don’t know, maybe from the fact he doesn’t spare a glance your way and only talks to you when he needs your notes from transfigurations class because he was too busy making out with Lavinia Argent underneath the quidditch bleachers.”

“That’s a rumor and you know it.” You growled underneath your breath as you tried your hardest to stay calm while you were carefully weighing the ground dragon claw to the milligram, sweat beading at your temples as it always did when you didn’t want to mess up.

“Not really, i was bored when i went for a stroll outside and i caught them actually shoving their tongues down each other’s thr-”

“If you’re going to be a nuisance, do me a favour and shift back to your full cat form so you’d at least be cute while you’re at it.”

Gasping dramatically, he sat up, a hand clenched to his chest. “Are you implying i’m not cute in this form? You’re a worse liar than you are a witch and that’s saying something.”

You were getting more than fed up with your feline companion’s unnecessary remarks and although you could usually enjoy this kind of banter between the two of you, he was pushing it too far and you were not in the mood.

After slamming down the bottle of cowbane infusion you just angrily dashed a generous amount of into your concoction, you grabbed your plant sprayer from the top shelf. Very effective in both watering your vervain and expelling obnoxious cats. From the moment he spotted the plastic bottle, his ears stood up straight along with the hairs on his neck, his tail thick and swaying and a hiss slipping through his bared teeth when you came closer.

“Don’t you fucking dare, ___! I just washed myself!”

“Need a round two?” You grinned as you threatened him, spraying water in his direction from afar and already making him squirm in his seat.

As you were both too busy pestering each other, neither of you noticed the cauldron leaking over and turning a more bright pink than it was supposed to…

A blood-curdling scream teared through the house, disturbing Yoongi’s peaceful slumber as he almost fell from his favourite sleeping spot; the top of your closet. He preferred to sleep in his cat form, his body being more flexible and his senses incredibly heightened, making every little noise at least ten times more prominent. Much to his dismay, in cases like these.

“___? What’s happening?” he groaned, shifting back to his predominantly human form, grabbing some sweats from the floor and putting them on as he walked towards the direction where the sound presumably came from.

“___?”

No matter how many times he called your name, you were nowhere to be found. He was pretty sure the scream came from the bathroom, but why weren’t you there? He started thinking he must’ve heard it wrong when he checked the shower as well before going back to your bedroom and continuing his investigation through the house, when he flexed his ears and finally heard it.

“Yoongi! Yoongi, i’m here! Down below! Look down!” he heard the squeaky pleading voice from underneath the sink, almost toppling over when he finally noticed the miniature human creature tugging on the bottom of his sweatpants.

“___?! Is that you? What have you done?!”

Tears were streaming down your tiny face as you looked up at your loyal familiar, whose eyes were wide as saucers while he towered over you, cupping his hands on the floor in front of you in an invitation which you begrudgingly took. You were so small you could easily fit into one of his big hands, with its long and slender fingers. You felt ashamed, your pride infinitely hurt as he brought you back up and set you down on the countertop.

“It-It’s the potion, I-I think i f-fucked up, Yoongi.” You sobbed hysterically, hiding your face with your hands because the last thing you wanted was for him to see you like this. You were supposed to take care of him, not the other way around. This was not what you had expected to be the outcome when you took a sip of your self-made brew this morning.

“Of course you fucked up, you lousy little witch.” he smiled compassionately, carefully stroking your hair with his pinky. Damn, you were freaking tiny. “I guess you were a bit too enthusiastic with the cowbane infusion, huh? Why did you put that in there anyway?”

“I- Jimin doesn’t like it when girls are taller than h-him, so…” you muttered, beyond embarrassed. You’d only meant to put a little in there, just enough to make you shrink ten centimeters or so, but getting all worked up over Yoongi’s comments had probably made you pour way too much of it into the cauldron. You felt like Alice after she’d drank the ‘drink me’ potion and you didn’t like it at all. “What do i do now?! I need to leave for school in two hours!”

Yoongi had completely forgotten that your break was over and you’d be returning back to school and the dorms starting today. The more he thought about it, the more it started to dawn on him. You’d probably wanted to return to school a better and improved version of yourself after this break, making everyone’s including Jimin’s jaws drop. Ridiculous. How were you going to keep that up for the rest of the year?

“That’s simple, don’t go to school until the effects wear off.” he shrugged as if it was the most logical reasoning anyone could come up with in this kind of situation, but you dared to disagree.

“I look fucking ridiculous! And those stockings will make me want to murder someone by noon if they keep itching like crazy!”

Yoongi’s countless complaints had long turned to background noise while you were still marveling over his transformation. You never knew you could look so hot, not even with a glow-up potion! In fact…was it possible to turn gay for yourself?! Were you a narcissist if you couldn’t stop staring at yourself, but if it wasn’t really you?

One of the great things about cat familiars is that they are pretty powerful witches themselves, as they are able to perform a great deal of spells and being natural metamorphmagi. However, you’d never expected Yoongi to do so well in transforming into the spitting image of yourself, aside from the bright, emerald green eyes. Actually, he was much more beautiful than you were and you found it very difficult to keep your eyes off him, not knowing why exactly that was.

“I’m not sure if i put your bra on the right way, it’s so straining! It actually hurts! Why can’t you just let the girls breathe a little, huh? Let them get some fresh air-”

“No chance, you’re keeping the bra on. And stop looking down my- i mean your shirt! You’re violating my privacy enough as it is.” you scolded him as loud as your squeaky voice would let you, your cheeks blushing up a storm and you were glad they were so small, Yoongi would barely notice.

“You’re the one who made me do this in the first place, so don’t give me that crap. By the way, honey, these are definitely not yours.” he scoffed while buttoning your shirt back up and fair enough, for some reason Yoongi’s version of you went up a cup size.

“Anyway, the potion should wear off between 48 and 72 hours so i need you to act as normal as possible during that time and not draw any attention to yourself whatsoever, okay? Can you do that?”

“Is there anyone who knows you better than i do, ___?” Yoongi threw you a playful wink before hiking up your skirt way above the generally accepted three-fingers-above-the-knee. “Don’t worry about it.”

You’ve never been more worried in your entire life.

Not even an hour into the train ride to campus, your worries proved to be justified. Because out of all the days you could run into the one and only Park Jimin, it had to be today.

You were hidden away in Yoongi’s pocket, starting to doze off when suddenly a voice you’d recognize out of thousands of others startled you awake as it sounded through the small cabin you usually shared with Yoongi and no one else.

“Hi,___! Mind if i join you?” You heard Jimin say in his soft and sweet tone and you groaned inwardly. You could already picture his sugar sweet eye smile with those words and you couldn’t believe your name was one of them.

You got ready to answer him when you realized you couldn’t, and when seconds kept passing by in silence without an answer from Yoongi either, anxiety started to creep up on you. What was he doing?!

“Um…___?” Jimin snickered, although there was a slight hint of insecurity and awkwardness to be detected in his voice. Damn it, why was he so cute! So soft! Why wasn’t Yoongi answering him?!

You couldn’t take it anymore, so you took a deep breath before you pinched him harshly in the side. You didn’t know whether he took over your sensitivity when he transformed into you or not, but it was worth a shot.

When he jumped up, making a strangled sound in an attempt to keep the cuss words down, you knew it had worked.

“Sorry, this cabin’s full.” Yoongi said in your signature, silky-soft voice you’d practiced hours and hours on in front of your mirror in case Jimin would talk to you and you’d be impressed with how spot on the performance was if it wasn’t for the actual words he spoke in it.

“Really? Aren’t you the only one sitting here, though?” the biggest crush of your entire life chuckled light-hearted when he entered the cabin anyway, moving to sit down in front of Yoongi and-

“No, don’t! You’re gonna crush it!” Yoongi exclaimed, voice distraught as if something horrible was about to happen.

“Oh, shit- sorry! W-what’s there?” you heard Jimin stutter, obviously startled. You knew he couldn’t see you anyway but you wanted the ground to swallow you whole regardless. He thought Yoongi was you, and Yoongi was making a god damn mess.

“Can you keep a secret?” your shameless familiar continued and you felt your cheeks heating up even more than before when for some reason, it sounded like he was playing coy with Jimin. What was with the tone he was using?! You never used that tone with anyone, much less Jimin!

Even from inside Yoongi’s pocket, you could see the way Jimin leaned over until Yoongi’s lips were at his ear and you would’ve fainted about ten times if it were you instead of your cat. You didn’t want to watch this, but you also couldn’t look away and were you mistaken or did you see a hint of red colouring jimin’s cheeks and ears as well? Then, Yoongi spoke again.

“It’s none of your business. Get out.” he whispered the words, and it would’ve been offensive if it didn’t sound so fucking sexy. Honestly, he could’ve said something along the lines of ‘let me suck your dick’ in that kind of voice and it would’ve made total sense and you’d never wanted to kick your familiar’s ass as much as you did right in that moment.

“I- I see. I’m just gonna- yeah.” Jimin nearly tripped over his own words, for all you knew he could be tripping over his own feet too, as he scurried out of the compartment. “So, um…I’ll see you around then,___.”

The sound of the door sliding shut was your cue to crawl out of Yoongi’s pocket, so ready to curse him to the moon and back, although that proved to be difficult while he was roaring with laughter.

“What’s so funny?! You probably scared him away forever, you jerk!” your tiny fists hammered against his arm, tears pricking in your eyes, but for him it probably only felt like a stupid fly was bumping into him. He’d ruined everything. Jimin was probably so freaked out he won’t even talk to you about borrowing your notes anymore, shattering every chance you had left to talk to him.

“___, relax! You really don’t know anything about men, do you?” Yoongi chuckled, carefully placing you on the armrest next to him. “I just did you a huge favour. You should thank me instead of glaring at me all the time.”

“How in the hell was that doing me a favour, Yoongi?”

For the longest time, you thought he was just going to keep grinning at you like a lunatic, before he finally answered, “I just made that boy whipped for you.”

If you thought the worst was behind you after the incident on the train, you were in for another surprise. You’d met up with your best friend so you could go back to the dorms together, seeing as you were also roommates it only seemed logical. Well, that was before Yoongi was you and you were the size of a teacup.

“Yoongi, i need you to listen to me, okay? Listen to me very good. You can not use my body as an excuse to-”

“-be overly physically affectionate with your hot best friend? You seem to forget a minor detail, though,” he murmured when he shoved you back in his pocket before waving at your friend as she was already running across the courtyard, “It’s still my own body.”

“Yuna, hey!” Yoongi’s voice raised an octave or two when your best friend wrapped her arms around him because girls get all squeaky-voiced when they get excited, right? Hearing it from an outsider’s point of view for once, you kind of understood how some people thought it could be…obnoxious.

“___! How was your break, did you do something fun? Did you get-” Yuna’s words died in her throat when she released Yoongi from her tight embrace, finally getting a good look at him and noticing the green eyes, the healthier and more voluminous hair, the ridiculously flawless skin… “Oh my god.”

This was it, you were getting found out. How stupid could you actually be, expecting your best friend in the whole world not to see right through this scam?! She knew you so well, of course she wouldn’t fall for it-

“You really did it?! The glow-up potion i told you about! You look amazing, i never thought it would work that well! Then again, you’re really good at potions…” Yoongi had to hold down a snicker at that comment, pursing his lips together while your best friend rambled in awe as she couldn’t help herself and touched Yoongi’s face all over as if she needed to confirm this was real, playing with his hair and marveling over how soft it suddenly was. “Woah, Jimin will be all over you. Oh and i like the green contacts, nice touch.”

“Oh, thanks! Yeah, i’m so glad with how it turned out. Good thing nothing went wrong, right? Can you imagine?” the sly cat was secretly giving you a massive burn and you could feel your blood starting to boil in your tiny veins when he was laughing and giggling with your friend, but that was nothing compared to the sheer audacity of his next move.

“Say, Yuna, you think you could get us into the prefect’s bathroom again? I feel like soaking in some bubbles while catching up a little, you know,” Yoongi hooked his arm around Yuna’s and pulled her closer like he knew you always did, “just us girls.”

Oh how you wished you were your regular size so you could grab him by the scruff! You never should’ve told him about how Yuna and you used to sneak into the prefect’s bathroom so you could enjoy the hot water and different lotions in a bathtub the size of a small swimming pool. He’s going to pay for this when you get back to normal!

“Aw, it’s been so long since we’ve last done that! I’m in but you’re gonna have to share some of that glow-up potion because i’ll be looking like a potato next to you now!” Yuna whined and knowing her, she wasn’t actually joking around. Not a hundred percent. You really hoped she wasn’t serious about trying the potion because there was no potion.

“Girl, stop it! Trust me, you don’t need some stupid potion, i’d bang your brains out if i were a guy!”

Another wave of girly giggling followed and you thought you were actually going to be sick.

“You can’t! I forbid you!”

“How are you going to forbid me anything right now,___? You’re literally the size of a tangerine.”

“Min Yoongi i swear to fucking-” You balled your mini fists and took deep breaths in an attempt to calm yourself down. “You are not going to sit in the same bath as my best friend while you’re both butt naked and she doesn’t know it’s not me in that body.”

“But i was only going to look–”

“If you were ever planning on doing more than that i might actually have to skin you alive, you nasty tomcat!”

Yoongi sighed dramatically before flopping himself down on your bed in starfish position.

“Fine, i’ll call bath time with Yuna off, but it’s really not fair how i constantly have to act like you and i’m not even getting anything out of this whole debacle.”

“It’s your fault we are in this situation in the first place, so no treats for you. And for the last time, Yoongi, close your legs! You’re wearing a skirt!”

“My fault? How is this all my fault? You’re shit at potions and you screwed up, deal with it.” he shrugged, defying you by spreading his legs even wider and giving you a full frontal view of your kitten print panties.

“But you were distracting me with your annoying yapping!” you countered, cheeks flushed again even though you shouldn’t be feeling embarrassed by being exposed to your own body. You’ll never get used to this and you hoped that you’ll never again have to after this.

“Blaming it on the cat now, are you? Very mature, ___.”

You were opening your mouth to give him a snappy answer back when you heard the door handle turn from the other side, making a mental note to continue this conversation later when you were alone again when Yoongi hurried to put you away in your safe and hidden travel spot in the pocket of his blazer, before Yuna walked in on, well, pocket-sized you.

“___? I’ve been looking for you, we have transfigurations in fifteen minutes, remember?”

Of course Yoongi wouldn’t remember because he usually sleeps all day when you’re in class and the only times he cares about your schedule is when you leave and when you come back, and you completely forgot about class as you were too busy trying to manage current events and keeping Yoongi and your reputation out of trouble.

“Ah, sure! I’ll be there in a second!” Yoongi answered your best friend the exact same way you would’ve and while you were happy he wouldn’t draw any suspicion this way, it was also creeping you out how effortlessly he could copy your entire personality, if he wanted to. Sometimes, it seemed like he was even better at being you than you were.

You did not look forward to Yoongi attending class as you, though. You weren’t worried about the magical aspect, considering he was actually a really talented witch. He could perform most spells you were taught in class and if he didn’t know the answer to a textbook question, you could just whisper it to him from inside his pocket. What you were worried about, though, was his attitude.

Especially when it came to Jimin.

“Hey, ___!” Jimin greeted Yoongi cheerfully and much like earlier that morning, you could hardly believe the fact Jimin was actually talking to you- you mean Yoongi directly for the second time in the same day! You completely lost it when you took a peek and saw him sitting down on the seat next to you. You wanted to jump up and down in excitement, but that would be difficult inside the pocket of a blazer.

“Seat’s taken.” was Yoongi’s clipped response, the epitome of disinterest as he didn’t even glance up when Jimin spoke, too occupied inspecting his perfect manicure.

“Oh, is there another one of those invisible creatures sitting here? What are they called?” the blonde prince asked, genuinely curious. Not a hint of sarcasm in his voice. He actually believed that stunt Yoongi pulled in the train this morning?

Yoongi just ignored his question because making up an entire new species was too much of a hassle and you’d be in trouble after all this had blown over. So he went for the next best excuse.

“Yuna’s sitting next to me.”

“But Yuna’s already sitting next to Taehyung, so” Jimin beamed while he flopped down on the chair beside yours, “I’ll be your study buddy for today!”

You could already imagine how Yuna set this up as a ploy, knowing how crazy you are about Jimin and probably being convinced you had all the confidence you needed now, after drinking ‘the potion’. You knew she meant well, but she couldn’t have had any worse timing in her matchmaking. You listened to the conversation between your familiar and your crush and you were dying inside. What the hell did Yoongi mean by ‘making Jimin whipped for you’, when he was only going to be mean and distant towards him?!

“You’re not getting my notes.” Yoongi sighed in exasperation while he moved his hands up to tie his hair back in a ponytail, keeping the hair tie between his lips as he looked up at jimin from underneath his eyelashes.

You heard Jimin gulp a few times before clearing his throat. “I- that…That’s not what i’m here for.”

Yoongi just lazily laid his cheek to rest on his hand, tilting his head to the side and blinking innocently. “Hmm? Then what do you want, Park?”

To be honest, you didn’t know what you’d expected Jimin to answer to that as you waited with bated breath, but it certainly wasn’t this.

“I want to take you on a date and get to know you better.”

You had spent years and years trying to make Park Jimin notice you and now your damn cat was your substitute, he suddenly seemed to be everywhere. You didn’t think you’d seen him as many times in all these years as you did on today alone, much to Yoongi’s annoyance.

“When will he leave? Doesn’t he have things to do? Hang out with his douchey friends or something?” he complained when he took refuge inside the girls’ bathroom, if only to get a few peaceful minutes without having to “coincidentally” run into your stupid crush every ten seconds.

“It’s your own fault for storming off without giving him an answer!” you angrily countered, more than frustrated with your familiar’s stubborn behaviour. He knew you were dying to go out with Jimin, so why couldn’t he just say yes?!

“I thought that in itself was a pretty clear answer.”

“It wasn’t! And why are you rejecting him when you know i want to go out with him?”

“Exactly! You want to go out with him, not me!”

“Please, Yoongi.” you pouted as you tugged on his sleeve, “Just…agree to the date and stall it until i’m back to normal?”

Yoongi looked like he was seriously contemplating it, watching your little, pleading eyes staring up at him like he was your last hope. He gave in with a long and tormented sigh.

“Fine. I’ll string him along a little longer… As long as i don’t have to date the guy myself.”

“Trust me, i wouldn’t even want you to.” you snorted, crossing your arms and looking the other way to try and hide your slightly flushed cheeks. You couldn’t deny Yoongi was better at this stuff than you were. It looked like he had Jimin wrapped around his finger already and it’s only been one day, while after years of sharing classes you couldn’t even go up to him to return his pencil when he’d lended it to you once.

“Good.” he shrugged, fixing his hair in the mirror before putting you away again. “Let’s go, then.”

Truth be told, you were getting a little sick of being carried around like a freaking keychain, but staying in your room and doing nothing while letting Yoongi walk around in ‘your’ body wasn’t an option. You had to know what he was doing, when he was doing it and most importantly, you had to keep his sharp tongue in check before he scared Jimin away forever.

Speak of the devil…

“What are you doing standing outside the girls’ bathroom, Park? Aren’t you a little too old to sneak a peek?”

Yoongi only just stepped outside of the ladies room and there he was again, met with the blonde boy that raked his hair back as he smiled so bright, the sun would be jealous. Yoongi hated it when the sun shone in his eyes, but in contrast to this guy’s stupid, happy eyesmile, at least he could wear sunglasses to block the rays. He had yet to find a way to block this kind of unwanted brightness from his eyes, seeing as being an evasive bitch didn’t really seem to work.

“I saw you going in there and I thought… I know you’ve been avoiding me, ___, and i hope i didn’t freak you out by asking you out on the first day of the new semester but… Just go on one date with me and i promise you i won’t waste your time.”

Yoongi just stood there waiting until Jimin was finished speaking, hip stuck out and fingers impatiently tapping his arms after he’d crossed them, eyes rolling and lips pursed as he prepared himself to accept this douchebag’s request. His list of favourite pastimes included napping, grooming, teasing you, napping, getting petted by you, playing with yarn balls and napping. There were a lot more things on his not-to-do list. This, however, was on his never-again-or-i’ll-stab-someone list. Still, he tried to remember that this was important to you and seeing you unhappy was something he’d like even less. He just had to bite through the sour apple and then he could go back to ignoring this dumb dude.

“Sure, can’t wait.” and Jimin might as well just have been talking to a robot with the way Yoongi answered him in the most monotone voice he could manage, his expression flat as a pancake as he made an effort not to let out a long, exasperated sigh.

It didn’t seem to deter Jimin at all, though. If possible, quite the contrary.

“R-really? Awesome!” Jimin beamed, eyes wide in slight disbelief, “When do you have time? Where would you like to go? There’s this really good Italian restaurant in the village downhill and-”

“Just do whatever.” Yoongi murmured irritably, ready to spin around on his heels and bounce until a well-aimed pinch to his side reminded him of the task at hand. He couldn’t let Jimin choose the time of the date in case you hadn’t turned back to normal by then. “I mean, i guess in two days or something.”

You sighed in relief when Yoongi corrected himself. Two days from now should be about enough time for you to regain your usual size. The recipe said it should wear off between 24 and 72 hours after drinking the potion, so you should be safe.

“Okay, great! What time do i pick you u-”

“Man, go bother someone else with your stupid questions.” Yoongi snapped when it was getting too much, finally turning around and walking away, not up for staying longer than was absolutely necessary. He just realized that he didn’t just not like this Jimin guy, he decided he couldn’t fucking stand him.

“Alright! I’ll pick you up at eight! In two days!” Jimin yelled after Yoongi, who was already way down the hall by that time, and you didn’t miss how excited he sounded. Your heart was racing in your chest, adrenaline almost bursting through your veins. You didn’t think you’ve ever felt more happy in your entire life!

And so the next day went by, and it was most likely the worst day in Yoongi’s life, excluding that one day you accidentally turned him into a fucking bullfrog and the cats next door tried to kill him.

It was one thing for Jimin to always just be there everywhere he went, like he was his shadow or something, but it’s a whole other when he was constantly trying to flirt in his own weird and creepy ways. He hated pumpkin spiced lattes, but he hated the heart-shaped latte art he found at your spot on the breakfast table the next morning infinitely more. The questions and interrogations that followed by your peers gave him a pounding headache. Next up was the singing heart origami, almost giving him a heart attack when he opened your locker and it flew out and sang a ballad from the top of its non-existent lungs. It wouldn’t stop singing until he shredded it to tiny pieces.

After a whole day of similar romantic gestures that felt more like pranks to him, Yoongi collapsed on your bed, worn-out and disgusted.

“I wish i was in my cat form right now.” he groaned pathetically, and you were actually starting to take pity on him when you watched him try to groom himself in human form, but it wasn’t the same and showers were his worst nightmare.

“Why don’t you just shift? Yuna’s at her club activities all night so she won’t be back any time soon.”

Yoongi glared at you at that, eyes squeezed to slits, “I can’t. I’m afraid i might eat you.”

“You- you what?” you chortled at his unexpected answer.

“You’re so tiny! I don’t know if i’ll be able to control my instincts when you’re just out there being the size of a mouse!”

You just snorted and rolled your eyes. “Stop whining and shift, Yoongi. You’re not going to eat me, idiot, just take a stroll through campus, go outside for a bit, catch some real mice. I think you might actually explode if you don’t get some cat time soon.”

“I really think so too.” he admitted, making you nod sympathetically.

“Just put me back in my drawer bed so i can take a nap while you’re gone and you can go.”

It had been a long time since Yoongi felt so incredibly liberated! He really took his cat form for granted sometimes, he realized, as he absorbed all the stimuli around him he could. The sharp vision and hearing, the incredible smells, the heightened reflexes. Humans really were sad creatures, actually, their senses having been so dulled over thousands of years of ‘evolution’ they barely know about all the things going on around them.

A cat’s hearing range is five times that of a human and because of that, Yoongi was able to pick up some noises coming from the men’s bathroom in the hall. He recognized the noise as a familiar voice and it didn’t take him too long to identify it as none other than your all time crush, Park Jimin.

Being awfully curious about what your love interest was doing at this time, in a bathroom in an empty hallway, Yoongi decided to eavesdrop on the conversation being held between four walls.

Listening to what was being said between Jimin and his friend with the baritone voice he recognized as one he’d heard in class before, he finally understood where the saying ‘curiosity killed the cat’ came from.

“___! ___, wake up!” Yoongi stormed inside your bedroom, slightly panting and in his own human form as he took you out of the drawer of your desk and placed you on the bed before him.

“Wha- Yoongi, calm down! What’s wrong, why are you in…this form? What happened?” you babbled, still sleep-drunk and your mind working incredibly slow to wake up.

“Don’t go out with Jimin tomorrow.”

“What?! What’s gotten into you, of course i’m going! I’ve wanted this since freshman year!” Yoongi’s words were like a bucket of ice being dropped on your head, waking you up instantly, but confusing you all the more.

“I’m serious, ___, you have to trust me.” Yoongi stared down at you, his eyes dead serious and bearing a very present look of panic.

“Why?! What happened?!” you started yelling now, not that anyone but you and Yoongi could hear. You just sounded like an annoying bird or something, but you were getting seriously worried.

“I walked past the men’s bathroom and i overheard a conversation between him and- that…that guy with the low voice and the messy hair that’s in your class-”

“Taehyung.”

“Yes, Taehyung. You can’t go tomorrow.”

“Then tell me what they said! What did they say?!”

“I can’t tell you!” he sounded desperate now, beyond frustrated.

But that was nothing compared to your frustration, you were sure.

“If you can’t tell me, then i’m going.” you said, calmly, as if that was the last you wanted to hear of it.

Yoongi looked like he could start crying any second, so defeated and hopeless you couldn’t even imagine what in the world he must’ve heard to make him look like this. And why he couldn’t tell you about it.

“If you would rather trust a complete stranger that has ignored you for all those years up until yesterday, over your own loyal familiar whom you’ve been together with since you were a child and i was a kitten,” he continued, his voice raspy and his words snapping, but the fire in his eyes slowly dying, “then be my fucking guest,___. But i’m done.”

You watched him drag himself to the bed before he shifted back to his full cat form and crawled underneath the covers, as he tried not to think about tomorrow, whether or not you’ll be back to normal, trying not to think about the things he’d heard only minutes ago. He tried really hard not to be mad at you.

He knew you didn’t learn about anti-snitching spells until your last year.

Yoongi was, in fact, absolutely and one hundred percent done, as he’d said the day before. He refused to shift back to your body and go to class, even went as far as not speaking to you. Yoongi was out. He didn’t want to help you anymore, right when you needed him the most. Today was the day of your date with Jimin and the current circumstances didn’t exactly look fantastic. You were still the size of a small potato and when Yuna came home after her club activities and didn’t see you laying in bed, she started calling everyone she knew, asking if anyone had seen you as she worried sick while you were there the entire time, hiding in your desk drawer.

And you waited.

The only thing you could do was wait and hope that you were back to your normal size by eight. As the clock kept ticking and time kept going by without any result, you started to become desperate. What if it didn’t work out and you missed your one chance to be with the person you’ve been pining for for years?

“Yoongi…Yoongi, please,” you pleaded softly, scratching him behind his giant ear after you’d managed to climb onto the bed when Yuna went to class. He was like a big, black, furry monster now you were this small and you could imagine the unadulterated fear of the small wildlife he hunted very vividly. “Yoongi, we need to talk.”

His only response was a low growl, a threatening sound coming from the depths of his throat, indicating he didn’t want to talk and he was going to stay in his cat form until it was all over. He didn’t want to have anything to do with it anymore.

By 7:30, you had already given up any hope of going on your date as you were still smaller than a can of peas, until you felt a strange tingling in your stomach. You thought it was stress-bound at first, but then, gradually, the furniture around you started to look less like skyscrapers and all the other objects in your room became more and more recognizable.

“Yoongi! Yoongi, look! I’m growing again, it’s working! It’s wearing off!” you squeaked excitedly, hoping your familiar would be equally as happy to have you back in your normal size, but he just threw you an uninterested look over his shoulder before he started grooming himself, as if nothing out of the ordinary had ever happened.

You couldn’t be too bothered with his attitude now you were finally feeling like you could breathe again, especially because if you hurried up, you could still make it to your date with a few fashionably late minutes. So you jumped into the shower and did your makeup in turbo-speed, laying the last hand on your eyeliner when you heard a few knocks on your door that made your heart take a giant leap.

“Just a second!” you yelled from the bathroom, doing your best to control your trembling voice as your nerves were trying to get the better of you.

You took a last look at your hair and makeup, made sure your favourite outfit was spotless, took a deep breath or two, or three, okay four, and scurried to the front door.

You should’ve been prepared, you should’ve gotten used to it by now but you didn’t. When you opened the door, there stood a glowing Park Jimin, looking the most handsome and radiant he’s ever looked in a loose dress shirt and tight jeans, his blonde hair styled a little messy as if he just rolled out of bed after a heavy makeout session. And you were not ready. Oh, you were so not ready.

“Are you ready?” he smiled his famous, or infamous depending on how weak you were, eye smile that made your legs turn into blobs of jello as he handed you a bouquet of flowers that looked like it was made to impress. Well, it worked.

“I-yeah! Yeah, let’s go!”

Your body was tingling all over, a euphoric sensation surging through every nerve and you constantly had to remind yourself to hold down your nervous giggles when you were walking downhill to the Italian restaurant, glad Jimin talked the entire time so you didn’t have to. You couldn’t quite trust your voice yet. The walk to the village was already so romantic in itself, you felt like it was gonna be hard to top. Jimin must’ve enchanted the path because every step you two took, there were beautiful flowers blooming from the sides, fireflies accompanying you all the way and even though it was already dark outside, the birds were still singing lovely songs. Jimin wasn’t just desirable because he’s so good looking, he was also an incredibly talented wizard. He was able to perform spells and kinds of magic you didn’t even learn in school and you wondered if he wasn’t incredibly bored going to class when he already seemed to know everything.

“We’re here.” Jimin softly announced when you reached the glass doors of the small restaurant, and you nodded shyly before he guided you inside.

When you sat down at your table and the waitress brought you the menus, you still couldn’t think of anything to say to him. You were so nervous you could faint, but you had to stay strong. Maybe he’ll talk to you about something and you can just go with the flow from there. So you waited.

“Are you okay?” Jimin suddenly asked, like he was kind of joking, but the crease between his eyebrows showed he thought something really was up. “You’ve been quiet and you look a little uh…tired.”

Shit.

“Me? Yeah i’m fine. You?”

Double shit. Fuck.

“Oh, m-me? I’m…Okay. Haha.” he laughed, but even you could notice the lack of humor.

It was silent for a few minutes and it was getting painful. You needed to do something and you needed to do it quick.

“S-so…What have you done over summer break? Gone on vacation?”

Okay. That wasn’t too bad, right? Your voice seemed to be getting more stable, too. You got this.

“Nah, we didn’t go anywhere. Parents had to work and friends were gone with theirs to save money so i stayed home alone a lot. You?”

You were glad he asked because you did tons over summer break and at least this way you could keep the conversation going.

Halfway through your story, though, he whipped out his phone and started texting. First, it was only once every few minutes and he put it away after he was done. But then he didn’t even try to make it seem like he was listening to you anymore, sitting with his phone in his hand the entire time. His attempts to keep himself from grinning at those texts didn’t exactly work either. You were boring him.

You were about to cut yourself off in the middle of your sentence because what’s the point if he’s not even listening to a word you’re saying, when the waitress came back to take your orders.

“You can order anything you want.” he let you know with a small and brief smile that held no sincerity whatsoever.

“Thanks.” your voice was small and feeble, just like how you felt.

“I’ve changed my mind about the wine, can we get this one,” he pointed at somewhere on the wine card, “instead of the one i called for earlier? Oh, and a bottle of sparkling water. Thanks, sweetheart.” he winked at the cute waitress before handing her the card again.

“Very well, sir. I’ll come back to take your orders in a minute.” the waitress blushed as she took the card from him and made her way down to the kitchen. As she left, he was still watching her go with his bottom lip between his teeth for a few seconds longer.

Did he just openly flirt with that waitress or were you getting paranoid? This date was not going well, granted, but maybe you should calm yourself before making accusations.

“Which wine did you choose?” you decided to break the ice, once again, trying to come off as relaxed as possible.

“Ah, just one they recommended. A red one. You probably don’t know it.” he answered while he was reaching for his phone again.

You wanted to say something about it, but then the waitress came by again, notebook and pen in hand.

“Have you decided on your main dishes?” she asked sweetly, but not to you. She was solely looking at Jimin, giving him her best sugar smile.

“Hmmm, I don’t know…what’s good here?” Jimin answered her question with one of his own as he raked his eyes over her body so suggestively it couldn’t be missed.

“D-don’t you know, sir? You come here all the time…”

“Yeah, but i just like to hear you say it again.” he chuckled and she giggled and you felt like you weren’t even there because you were being treated as such.

You couldn’t believe this, didn’t want to believe Jimin has been like this since the day you met him, that he’s never been interested in you in the first place.

“Jimin.” you started, quietly, but were easily ignored while he and the waitress chattered away as if they were the ones on the date.

“Jimin.” you tried again, this time louder but you were still getting no reaction. you might as well have been another empty chair. And then something snapped.

You took a few deep breaths as you let the anger consume you, there was plenty of time for sadness later. Right now, you needed to accept that your long time crush is just a fucking douchebag, just like Yoongi has always said. Just like he tried to warn you not to go on this date. You needed to accept this. And you needed to say something about it.

“Jimin! Listen to me!” you raised your voice so loud even other people in the restaurant turned heads.

That did it and Jimin was finally looking at you. You got his attention back.

“What is it, ___?” he asked, coolly. As if nothing happened, although there was a slight edge to his tone this time.

“Why did you ask me on a date if you were going to be texting or flirting with the waitress the entire time?”

your voice was trembling. You weren’t sure if it was because you were trying not to cry or because you were still holding in a lot of anger and disappointment.

“___, listen-”

“No, you listen! Jimin, I-I’ve had a crush on you since freshman year and it never went away. I’ve been trying to-to get you to notice me for all these years and when the day you ask me out finally comes…You’re like this? Why would you do that?” the last sentence came out in a whisper, hurt finally starting to seep through the minor cracks in your freshly broken heart.

He sighed, irritation clearly visible on his handsome face now.

“Honestly, the reason why i was into you was because the first day we met again, in the train, you were nothing like the way you are now. You were cold, distant, beautiful, sexy. God, you were so hot, what happened?” he shook his head, confused, while he took in your current form in front of him, “You’re back to how you were before and ugh, i just- i just can’t stand you whiny, desperate bitches. You’re all the same, boring-”

His words got cut off by a glass of cheap, red wine splashing into his face. Your hand was shaking and your cheeks were stained with salty tears but you could just manage to put the glass back on the table and not drop it to the ground before you grabbed your purse and bolted out of the restaurant.

“You were right.” you murmured against the darkness after sitting yourself down on your bed, scratching Yoongi behind his furry, little ear. “About everything.”

Shifted back into his human form, aside from the ears and tails as usual, he came sitting beside you, silently pulling you into a hug and shielding you with his arms so you could let your tears fall safely.

“I know.” he whispered, but not in a condescending way. He felt sorry for being right.

“I was n-never good enough for h-him,” you hiccuped against your familiar’s shoulder while he softly stroked yours. “If i h-hadn’t fucked that p-potion up, this would’ve never h-happened and–”

“Shut up, you idiot!” He suddenly snapped, tearing you off his shoulder so you could look him in the eyes as he shook you back and forth. “Stop with that bullshit! Stop thinking changing yourself is the solution to everything! Do you even hear yourself?”

You were caught off guard, to say the least.

“I-I’m not–”

“Why would you ever want to try and change yourself? Especially for a piece of trash like Jimin? Don’t you want someone who likes you and loves you for who you are? Someone you don’t have to pretend with?”

“Yoongi…”

“You don’t have to change for anyone,___.” he softly added, his emerald eyes boring into yours. They held a lot of warmth for such a cold color. “You just need to learn how to love yourself a little more.”

You didn’t know how many emotions a person was supposed to be able to feel all at once, but you were pretty sure you would explode soon. You knew he was right but it still hurt so fucking bad not being able to make the person you like, like you back for who you are. You wanted him to like you so bad you were ready to change everything about yourself, everything you are and that thought scared you. Your heart was aching, breaking in a thousand pieces as you let the hurt do its work while your mind was already starting its healing process.

You couldn’t make everyone love you, or like you, and that was hard to accept. But you knew someone who would always love you for your own idiotic, impulsive, stubborn, sensitive and even pocket-sized self.

And now, all you needed to do was to add another person.

You.

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