#it's something we as white people have to consistently and constantly work on

[pumpkinrootbeer]

Hardware Store is a Weird Al song. During the bridge, he lists off a bunch of different tools and appliances very quickly, which I suppose could be considered "rap" if you've never listened to an actual rap song.

ANOTHER?? ANOTHER WEIRD AL SONG? IN THE POST ABOUT HOW WHITE PEOPLE CANT BE NORMAL ABOUT RAP MUSIC ?

[doberbutts]

I know you've said writing is a pretty fraught thing for you so I hope I'm not prodding against something tender without realizing, but I wanted to say that I think you have an absolutely lovely authorial voice, and I find your writing an absolute joy to read. I only discovered your blog a couple of days ago, but I've been reading through some of your post backlog and I've found myself consistently impressed by how you're able to make nuanced, complex ideas understandable for lay-readers while still maintaining a very fluid and compelling style.

Speaking as someone coming from academia, that blend of clarity, readability and depth of thought is both rare and takes a lot of work to develop, and I really admire it.

Oh, I appreciate the kind words actually!

It's not that my relationship with writing is fraught, it's that black people being called eloquent is a, umm, well often it is a microaggression when being said by a nonblack person.

Let me put it this way. Black people have our own dialect- AAVE- which is constantly both appropriated and also derided as unintelligent. This is despite the fact that most people who use AAVE also can speak and understand standard american english- proficiency in two (tbh even more than two bc AAVE is largely regional as well but w/e I guess) dialects is somehow unintelligent if you choose to use the one most common to your demographic for whatever reason. (I know the reason the reason is racism actually).

Black people learned a long time ago that in order to be taken seriously by nonblack and white supremist society, we needed to not only not use AAVE, but also be the most eloquent and well-spoken person in the room at all times or else some white asshole would find a reason to discredit us by saying we were too unintelligent to have a place at the table.

We aren't allowed to not be eloquent. And eloquent is only allowed to mean "speaks in purely academic words and phrases with no slang, using only standard american with no strong accent besides the news broadcaster 'no accent' accent" with absolutely no wiggle room.

Racist white society does not consider it possible to be well-spoken while using AAVE. It doesn't matter how educated or articulate the speaker is if they're using AAVE. They're just not considered intelligent enough to have a firm grasp on the subject. Even if they're the most experienced person there.

So when I say that black people and eloquence is a fraught discussion, I don't mean that I don't like speaking or writing. What I mean is, black people being told we are well spoken when we choose to remove our own dialect from our mouths because that's the only way we can get people to listen to us, often times with people saying this in surprise as though they did not expect us to be well spoken...

That entire mess is a whole tangled web of racism. It's a microaggression.

And it's also actually one of the major reasons why I talk the way I do. I find it to be a nice blend between pure academic lingo and casual street talk- understandable for the layperson but with an obvious enough grasp of the concept that I don't drown when discussing with people more used to using the more theoretical terms. It is intentional, and it's nice to see someone notice that.

[dramawiththem]

We did not expect this to be going this way, if anything, all the people that were involved in this situation were hoping to avoid talking about this in public. To not stress everybody out; we as a group decided to move on and wished to forget that this all had happened. 

Though alas, due to the recent behavior of someone involved in the situation, we had no choice but to create this document to talk about our personal experiences surrounding them and one other person. The two people in question have been kicked out of our private discord server due to their actions harming people within the server.

We're sure some of you know who they are, if not, they are Bailey (angry-trashcan) and Nikki (neverchecking), two names that you will see continuously throughout this text. Within these texts, you will be reading about what they have done both within and outside of the server, and how we hope that this will clear up any confusion or lies spread amongst the Linked Universe (LU) x Reader and Yandere LU x Reader communities.

We want to take a minute to also call out the anons; who did not respect Moss's wishes after they had explained that they no longer write for Sage. The same anons who may or may not have gone to Nikki about this should be ashamed of themselves. A boundary is not something that should be pressed and crossed, especially if the boundary has been repeated multiple times. 

The person you are interacting with is a human being, with feelings, sharing their work out of love. They’re not a bot. You can’t continuously press them for information. Especially if it forces them to step back for their mental health. To those anons, do not make excuses. Understand that your actions have consequences and can cause damage to the people within or outside of your life, be aware of what you say and do.

DISCLAIMER!

Every piece of evidence you read and/or see was used with consent from the owner.

Please understand and realize that this is NOT an invitation to harass or send death threats to any people involved in this. This is to clear up any misinformation that might've been placed in this community, so we, the server, decided to bring to light this issue and release our side of the narrative.

We want to move on from this and we know people want to know what happened. This is the only time we’re going to address this. Any and all questions about this are going to be deleted and any harassment will be swiftly dealt with and reported. 

Again, this is not an invitation to harass or send death threats to anyone who was involved in this drama. If you proceed to ignore this message, you are not any better. So please, do not engage in inappropriate behaviors.

The following evidence you are about to witness deals with NSFW, alleged predatory behavior, cheating, and racism. Be cautious when reading through the posts.

Racist Time, Abuse, Romanticization, etc.

On December 1st, 2023, in the #random-shares channel, Nikki and Bailey dropped a document consisting of their ideas regarding racist, misogynistic and homophobic stuff.

Making Wind (yes, a confirmed/canon minor) ask questions about sex then being hit by Sage. They have also made Twilight an misogynistic, hating on women; Legend being an abusive father; Time being racist and homophobic, so on and so forth.

While dealing with these themes in fiction isn’t wrong, having these themes portrayed in a joking and/or lighthearted manner is concerning.  

If you've been to Nikki’s tumblr, you would see that she is - in fact - a white woman. (as seen here). If you have been a follower of Nikki or interacted with Nikki's content, then you know of her POC oc, Aaliyah.

Nikki would go on to use this oc as a punching bag for other characters. Making those characters racist towards her, creating her to be a black woman stereotype that is constantly angry/aggressive towards others, being singled out by the Sheikah/King/Knights, and being whipped. However, Nikki would also use Bailey's oc, Ceres, to "protect" or "save" her oc, Aaliyah, during these racist moments, which leads to the idea of a white savior complex.

Let it be known, we are not saying that you cannot have a POC character as someone who is not a POC; but if you create a POC character without doing proper research into the culture(s) for your oc, put them in situations of abuse, make them a target for other characters, and/or only use stereotypes for their personality, then you're giving off the impression that you're a racist and pick-and-choose what qualities best suit your needs, especially when one of their purposes is for racist storytellings that they don’t fight against, despite having an “angry and aggressive” personality.

We would also like to point out how they both romanticized abuse in their writings. Making a certain character (Sage) someone full of spite and hatred. Someone who accepts that crossing boundaries is healthy. Alternatively, there are times that Sage gets treated like a dog, or where his s/o despises him. Those aren’t exactly the greatest combination of traits.

We understand that dark content exists, and we are not trying to shame any person who likes that content. However, there needs to be a realization that romanticizing them is NOT okay, no matter how your personal experiences may have shaped you. Dealing with a trauma through writing and other forms of art is completely normal but romanticizing the abuse and thinking it’s okay is indeed unhealthy and dangerous. 

Writing dark content is hard, it should always be portrayed as what it is, toxic and unhealthy, not as impossibly romantic.

Outright asking for hand pics/Asking about sexual experiences

Early on in the discord server, it came to everyone’s attention that Nikki asks for “hand pics” under the guise of it being a joke. Upon later realization, we realized that it was in fact, not a joke.

A new person ended up joining our server later, the first thing she asked of them was of course, hand photos. It wasn't revealed till later on that those photos were asked, in fact, for fetish purposes, which no person present in the server (besides Nikki and possibly Bailey) were aware of or took part in this. 

Beware that it’s not a joke nor is it "platonic" to ask for body part photos, especially from a stranger or even a friend, when the intentions are over a fetish that wasn't communicated, thus, not being consented by the other part. Taking advantage of someone like that without their knowledge is wrong and unacceptable. 

Putting aside the fact that they asked for pictures of other people, they also sent photos of their feet in the chat too, abruptly, knowing how everybody felt about it. When asked to stop, they ignored it; proceeding to continue sending photos under the guise of “a joke”.

There are no screenshots for this due to the fact that the messages were deleted by a mod. Take this as you will.

Minor Involved

January 3rd, 2024, Bea was contacted by Nikki privately to server mute a person. We will not be revealing who that person is out of safety for their wellbeing. This person was actually a minor pretending to be an adult. 

Of course, they quickly left the server before Bea could do anything. Everyone within the server blocked the person except for Bea, who would go on to have a private conversation with them about how serious and dangerous the situation could have become. Had we not found the message of them confessing their legal age, things could have possibly escalated. 

All of that said, Bailey was in contact with this same person outside of the server. She had their address and they both explicitly sent nudes to each other. That person revealed to her later that they were underage. At the time, we all blamed naivety and recklessness for Bailey’s actions; and for some cases, those were definitely a cause.

Though, after everything that happened in February and March this year (2024), plus all of us looking back on Bea’s private conversation with that person, we believe that this person was being taken advantage of. While we do not have the full story, we came upon this realization due to this person’s claims about how scared they were of Bailey potentially doxxing them or doing something with their private information.

Again, while we do not have confirmations, we suspect that the anonymous person may have been coerced to send inappropriate photos to Bailey.

Confirmed relationships.

Two days following the minor situation, Bailey and Glowy privately messaged each other about potentially pursuing a relationship after Bailey confessed feelings for Glowy. 

Glowy reciprocates those feelings, but asks for time to get to know each other, give Bailey time to heal after the minor situation and they spend around a month talking and flirting with each other.

If you've ever scrolled through Nikki's (neverchecking) Tumblr, then there's a possibility that you would know that they were dating someone before their current relationship.

By now, we're sure you're aware who this person was, but just in case you aren't, it will be shown and further discussed down below.

Please go to part 2 on blog

[akajustmerry]

people in the tags of my dw article like, "wow. chibnall might be worse than moffat" for fucks sake get some perspective Chibnall tried to frame the Doctor being a Nazi as empowering!!!!!! like actually wrote the Doctor using literal bonafide Nazism against her FRIEND, sending a person of colour to Nazi death camps on PURPOSE and framing it as a triumphant moment. It does not compare even remotely to Moffat's boomer gen x Madonna/whore sexism. It's the difference between some shitty sexist subtext and actually having a white character use white supremacy for fun and explicitly signal to your viewers of colour that violently disposing of them is "heroic". Also, if youse actually cared to fucking read what I wrote or bothered to watch the show to see for yourself, Chibnall's writing was sexist too. The 13th Doctor constantly endured condescending gendered writing and even gendered violence within the show that Chibnall barely acknowledged, but consistently enacted. A lot of youse think hating Moffat is peak criticism, but actually caring about this show is recognising that the reason Moffat got away with driving this show into the ground is because sexism, and white supremacy are baked into this fucking show and ALL showrunners have enacted it. Yes, including Davies. I am on my knees begging for you guys to stop looking at media through the lens of auteur theory, and actually critique media on what it's representing as its presented. I'm so exhausted with people "bad appleising" media, like one person is the source of all that's wrong and if we get rid of them everything is fine. media is the product of people working within systems and media reflects those systems as much as the people. stop bad apple-ising because it makes you uncomfortable to admit something you care about is inherently bigoted.

[thefrontofmymind]

Proof Positive 4

a/n: i know, i know. its been a little while. i've been a bit distracted but i'm getting back into it all

series masterlist

It felt like your life had lurched to a stop when Ross went away for tour. On one side of the coin, all your work you’d been doing for months leading up to this tour had finally been set in motion and now you were supposed to just move on to the next project, and then on the other side of it, you were without the father of your baby. A baby that had been making it so that you could hardly swallow anything other than water without feeling a constant wave of nausea, even then, that was difficult to stomach.

It was a hard goodbye. You two had spent every day together for the past six weeks, you didn’t realise how much you’d preemptively miss him. You had to say goodbye at his flat, to keep with the secret between you both–it was still so new, you couldn’t quite wrap your heads around what was really happening yet, so you couldn’t just tell everyone about you three yet.

Once he’d left you in his flat, you just cried. You probably cried just as much as when you found out you were pregnant. Though that was for fear, this was just pure desolation. You texted each other constantly but with the time difference, his constant travel, and you now having some serious fatigue that resulted in many naps, it was hard to keep consistent.

You had to go to your ultrasound alone. It wasn’t even until you were sitting in the waiting room that you got the fear that something could be terribly wrong and you would be alone to deal with it. Yes, you were pregnant, but there could be every chance in the world that something could be wrong with the baby and you wouldn’t be able to carry it. Or that it was all just a false alarm.

In a trick of fate, there was some emergency and your doctor was far behind schedule so you had all the time in the world to dwell on your anxiety. You watched the other people in the waiting room with you; a woman around your age, quite a bit further along than you, with the biggest rock you’d ever seen on her left hand, a woman holding hands with another much older than her, her hair may have been greying out but their smiles were identical. Looking around you’d never felt so alone. You’d tried to busy yourself by scrolling through your phone but nothing could distract you from the hat trick of your melancholy, your nausea, and the fluorescent lights giving you a migraine.

You’d never felt such relief as when a nurse fetched you from the waiting room and led you down the hall to the ultrasound room. You met the sonographer, and she explained what she was looking for, confirmed that you were around six weeks along, and it was time.

You tried to keep your eyes off the black screen, splattered with white splotches, you didn’t want to look, you didn’t want to jinx it at all. 

Until a pounding filled the room, and your heart just melted.

“There we are!” The sonographer said excitedly. “Baby was hiding from me for a bit there!”

Now you couldn’t take your eyes off the screen. Watching as measurements were taken of the little dot that was unmistakable on the screen.

“We’re looking good…” She said again, writing down a few notes on the pad next to her. “Can you see alright?”

You nodded. “Do you mind if I record a bit of it? The heartbeat?”

“By all means,” she smiled. “And I’ll make sure you get some printouts.”

“Thank you. The dad’s in South America for work and he was gutted to miss this…”

“There’ll be plenty more things he can join you for,” she answered.

You recorded a video as the sound echoed throughout the room. It was almost hypnotising, the beat over and over again. Each time you thought you’d gotten a handle on it, you could finally wrap your head around it all, you were surprised each time it just got more and more real. And you still had eight months left of this.

“Well that’s it for us today, I’ll send this all over to your OB, and I’ll get you to book in for another scan in about two…three weeks time so we can keep an eye on bub.” She gave you a tissue to wipe the gel off your abdomen. “And I’ve sent the photos to the printer in reception so just ask them for the photos.”

Walking out of the blue-tinted building, you were immediately on your phone. 

would you look at who has the best beating heart?? [video attachment]

You were only four hours ahead of him, it was mid-morning for him, he’d see it soon enough. And soon enough, he did. Merely a minute after it was sent, your phone began ringing, you answered it without even looking at the ID.

“Holy shit!” Ross laughed, which you returned. “I…don’t know what to say!”

“Same!” You giggled. “We’re having a baby!”

The giddiness between the both of you was palpable. You both giggled through your conversation–you told him about the appointment, all the things the sonographer told you, and he told you how the tour was going, every detail of every show so far.

You heard someone talking to Ross, before he said to you, “we have soundcheck, I’ll call you later though?”

“I have a meeting with Atlantic Records people at 4 so in like two hours, I’ll text you when it’s over.”

“Alright…love you.”

“Love you too.”

It was only as you put your phone back in your bag after hanging up that you realised what you both said to each other. You didn’t even think about it, it fell so naturally out of your mouth. There was no fear, no worry, just a warmth spread through your chest–combatting the gust of early April wind that was blowing against you.

You wondered what Ross was thinking, whether it was something he planned to say or if it was as much of an instinct as it was to you. You hoped he didn’t worry if you would say it back, because obviously you would’ve–and you did. You pictured him as giddy as you, trying to focus on his soundcheck and not let the rest of the band suspect anything.

You couldn’t think about it for too long, making your way to your office, you had to turn that whole part of your brain off. It was work time.

You were always grateful for the respect that you had at work. Though, you supposed, it came with the commitment you’d put in, being one of the first workers for Dirty Hit, and staying with them for close to a decade now, it was very well earnt.

You got through your day blocking out the excitement, the giddiness, the nausea. Only finally taking a breath in the refuge of your home. You checked the time, four hours back is…three in the afternoon. You pressed call on the contact of the man you loved.

“Hello?” You heard chatter through the other side of the phone when he answered, laughs and yells–nothing unexpected.

“It’s me,” you answered.

“Hold on,” he said without another word. You heard the noise get quieter. “How are you?”

You let out a huff. “I love you!” You said with a laugh.

You heard him chuckle. “I love you too!”

You didn’t think you’d ever get over the feeling. The exhilaration you were feeling every time you two spoke now. Even just the thought of him could make you blush now.

“I wanted to say it properly,” you said. “Was thinking about it all day.”

“Were you? Daydreaming about me while you’re supposed to be working…” He teased. “Remember you’re working for me!”

“Sure, if that’s the way you think it works…” you quipped, which he laughed at.

“Either way I. Love. You.” He emphasised each word.

Then there was another voice, muffled but still just a little audible if you focussed. “Who you love, huh?” Unmistakably Matty.

“None of your fucking business, mate,” Ross answered.

“Fine! Fine if you don’t want to tell us…” You heard Matty say. “But we’ll all find out eventually…”

“Oh I’m sure,” Ross said. You heard whatever door Matty entered through shut again before Ross turned his attention back to you. “Sorry about that.”

“You’re acting like I haven’t known Matty as long as I’ve known you. I know what I’m in for here!”

“Yeah.” He breathed a sigh of relief. “We need to tell them eventually though.”

“We still have time.”

It went without saying. We still have time to actually fathom what’s happening here.

“I know,” he said. “Hate to go but…I have to.”

“Alright, knock ‘em dead,” you answered. “Love you.”

You could practically hear his smile through the phone. “Love you too”

[watchinglikeafangirl]

After putting out those rewievs of recent Thai BLs, I thought it would be fun to talk about my top 3 Thai BLs. I have watched each of them two or three times already and I'm still so invested even if I know what's about to happen.

So, the shows I would rate as 10/10 are:

Not me the series

Manner of death

I told sunset about you

And now I'm gonna tell you why, have fun

Not me

Not me is definetly a surprise for me because it's the best GMMTV show I have seen until now. There are always GMMTV projects that get a lot of attention and there are many famous pairings but for me there's always something underneath that's telling me most GMMTV shows are not that interesting or they start good but slowly become kinda boring.

Not me is the only GMMTV show that didn't bore me towards the end. It's so consistent and the story is a complicated net of characters who are all intertwined in their past. We are not told which characters are friends, we're shown. Black is a mysterious character because White doesn't know him as well but in the end we feel like we do because all the other characters know him. We get flashbacks of Black and Gram and we start learning about past relationships. We see how Sean is constantly expecting certain reactions White doesn't give him. It's very thought-through and we learn about each of them.

Of course, they are a rebellious group who are fighting for justice in their society. Not me is a lot about social criticism, corruption and oppression in more than one way. We learn about Yok's mom being deaf and getting fired because the factory closed down. There are consequences for the characters but they still believe in their cause, they still believe in each other. These characters are one of the strongest ones I've seen. And we learn so much about them through their dynamic as a group. Some take charge, some are aggressive, some are quiet.

What I like the most is, this show is not predictable. Todd's involvement is completely out of the blue and it's shocking. He had a few scenes to earn our trust and we didn't see it coming. There are flashbacks of the past but even those don't explain everything and I love how the outcome is not visible and still unclear even when the show ends.

Manner of death

At first, I wasn't that intrigued but once the story started to really kick off and the puzzle pieces were layed out, I desperatly waited each week. I like crime shows every once in a while (probably the german in me).

With this show, we get very mature adults in a balanced relationship. Bun and Tan work best when together and their relationship is there, they have some scenes, but it's not really part of the plot. This show is not about their love story, it's about solving a crime and to find justice for Jane.

The show shifts its tone throughout its run. There are drastic things happening and the culprit is someone I didn't suspect that much. The story they uncover is absolutly shocking and it could be triggering. But it's handled in a respectful way. The story progresses and is told calmly without labeling people or judging them before they even talk. The character's personas are not clear just when looking at them because the first approach is neutral.

Manner of death is a much more mature BL I didn't know I needed. There's no unnecessary action and the stakes aren't that high. It's just Bun and Tan and a few friends fighting in silence.

I told sunset about you

I watched this when I was 18, studying for my last exam in school and deciding what I'm going to do with my life. The show hit the right nerves at the right time. I was unsure who I wanted to become, I still don't know if I made the right choices.

This show had me on a chokehold for such a long time. I cannot say what big of an impact it had on me. I still think it's phenomenal. The way colors, songs, languages, flashbacks and silent scenes are used to express the sher struggle of finding one's identity will always be amazing to me. There are so many heartbreaking scenes and scenes I didn't get three years ago but now, three years later, I understand what the show wanted us to see.

But this show is not good because it has such a complicated story or because it had so many turning points but because it is so bittersweet. The calm scenes are the most heartbreaking and when they cry, they sob and when there's happiness, the sun shines and they wear some red shirts. It's a whole feeling and I still love the show for bringing me so much comfort in being unsure who I was because I felt so seen. I have never seen a show portray this transition so well. The best coming-off-age show for me personally

[winepresswrath]

I do gotta say tho, even tho I’m mad at aziraphale because he’s being a terrible boyfriend like what you said about the “I forgive you like” because WHAT. But also I really like the way the show really demonstrates the underlying cruelty of heaven and it’s angels. Really shows the hypocrisy of a group of beings who are supposed to do good, especially aziraphale who really buys into the heaven propaganda, who hurts people, particularly the person who means the most to him. Because like you said he fully just takes advantage of that devotion Crowley has for him. Insane, this shwo makes me INSANE

I missed this anon and yeah! The angels were one of my favourite parts of the season, and I think the strongest element aside from Neil Gaiman deciding he's just a simple man who wants to put his otp in situations. They are deeply awful and I kind of love them. They are the exact kind of moralizing hypocrites who are callous and cruel precisely because they think being on team good means everything they do is justified and it's actually impossible for them to be in the wrong (they're angels! is it even possible for them to do the wrong thing?).

but!! To me, they also seem like they're basically kids? Obviously they're not literally children, but there is this very consistent reoccurring joke about how childish/sheltered/immature they are. Muriel is the most obvious example, but the archangels come off like bratty twelve year olds to her sweet little kid.

Gabriel is basically teenager in love flipping off his family as he runs away with his backstreet guy. Uriel is constantly picking at Michael, Michael is playing at being in charge like it's a game, and it's ridiculously easy for both Aziraphale and Crowely to trick them obvious half assed lies. They're not allowed to ask questions! The Metatron treats them like badly behaved kids out past their curfew. At any point an old man with a beard may pop up to scold them and send them home, and they're all scared of doing something wrong by his standards and getting in trouble with this guy who is pointedly not God but who lines up exactly with the pop-culture idea of god the father, and who offers Aziraphale, among other things, a respite from the hard work of figuring out what the right thing to do is for himself. It's fine! You don't have to question the belief system you were born into or make a painful break with everything you've ever known! Aziraphale has had six thousand years on earth to grow up, but the other angels have been sitting in a sterile white box playing "i'm not touching you" games with each other and filing paperwork.

And I think that's extra interesting because this season also really emphasizes:

Heaven has Institutional Problems

Aziraphale isn't the only angel who's unhappy in heaven. Gabriel and Muriel were both completely miserable. They just didn't understand that they were unhappy because they'd never experienced anything else.

Angels who aren't Aziraphale can change and grow! There's very explicitly Gabriel being changed by love and Muriel growing up a bit on earth, and from a more fan-theory angle there's also Jimbriel, who I think is probably basically Gabriel minus the war and six thousand years of playing referee for Michael and Uriel while unleashing an assortment of plague and calamities on earth because that's God's will! Buck up champ.

We also get Gabriel and Beezelebub talking about how their underlings basically live for Armageddon, "if you can call that living." This is so bleak. They've all been on a six thousand year time out just dreaming of the day they get to beat the shit out of each other until they feel better, but it won't work because eternity is just more of the box.

Anyway I think it's going in a distinctly eden adjacent direction. Aziraphale is going to tempt those angels with knowledge and the capacity for change. I have veered so far from your ask anon i'm sorry you're right heaven really went all out on sucking this season & while Crowley and Aziraphale are both fucking it up Crowley refrains from being spectacularly cruel to Aziraphale about it and Aziraphale should learn to return the favour. I forgive you!! I forGIVE you. I forgive YOU. "you can be an angel again" is actually a worse thing to say than "you're a demon. i don't even like you." when he finally picks crowley over heaven i'm going to lose my mind.

[zukkaart]

Sokka thinks katara has a crush on zuko(which she does) so they both list pros and cons about why each of them would work better with Zuko and eventually Katara gives up because another boy catches her eye (ybonus if you make the boy jet ;) )

Your wish is my command

~~~~~~~~~~~~

War ends early AU

"Katara I have something to tell you," The young water tribe woman was minding her own slaving over a seal soup when her older brother came up behind her, causing her to startle.

"Ugh Sokka! Don't do that! I might not be a firebender but I could still throw this boiling soup over you," Her brother feigned offense, placing a hand over his heart.

"You'd never sacrifice your favorite soup"

"You're right, but my point stands. What do you want to tell me?"

"Uhh... okay," Sokka swallowed thickly, adjusting his leather gloves. "So, I have a crush on someone..."

"Oh my La Sokka, is that what you've been dramatising about all week? Your crush on Suki is not a world-shattering revelation, especially since you make out with her in front of me a few months ago" She went back to stirring her soup with a huff.

"Yeah, but uhm. Katara?" He grasped his sisters shoulders gently, turning her to face him. She gave him a confused, and slightly worried look. "It's not Suki,"

Now she was interested, her face broke in to a wide grin as she set the wooden spoon down beside the large pot.

"Well come on then!" She shoved him playfully in the chest, "Tell me who it is!"

"It's uh... well..."

"Spit it out already Sokka, you're killing me here,"

"Fine ugh! It's Zuko,"

Her smile immediately dropped, she turned on her heel and went directly back to tending her soup. Sokka's heart dropped to his stomach.

"Katara?" He placed a hand on her shoulder. "I mean... you had to know right? That I like guys too? I haven't been exactly subtle,"

It was true, he hadn't. As their tribe grew with more and more people from the north, he had taken his share of beautiful men. He of course kept it inconspicuous, but he never lied when asked directly.

Katara began laughing then, and Sokka felt as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

"Sokka, that's not what bothers me. I'm neither blind nor stupid," He shot her a playful glare

"What is it then?"

"It's that I like Zuko,"

"You...what?"

Katara laughed again, "I mean how could I not? He's gorgeous and tall and kind, I could go on." Sokka cracked a smile

"Well, it seems we have only one way to remedy this," He then wiggled his eyebrows at her suggestively

"Sokka- please no" "I think you mean 'Sokka yes'!" "I'm making soup," "Then I'll bring the fun to you!"

Katara groaned loudly, but her brother had already gone to grab his favorite drawing board and was back in a flash.

"Sokkaaaaaa" Katara whined, stoking the fire "Kataraaaaaa, I don't care. It is time for yet another one of my world-renowned pro/con lists," "World renowned?" "Shut up, yes"

Sokka poked her playfully with his chalk, getting white powder on her tunic. Katara swatted him off

"Go on then," She rolled her eyes

"Okay then I'll state my case first," He began making a bulleted list as he rattled off points, "One- Zuko is the fire lord, I will become Chief, it's basically the perfect alliance between our nations. Two- I'm an engineer and Agni knows the Fire Nation needs my help in that respect, it would give me an excuse to see him constantly, and Three- I'm an ambassador, so we're already pretty close, he knows me."

Katara shot him an exasperated look but his shit-eating grin didn't falter.

"Your turn," He urged, she sighed heavily.

"Fine." She dusted her hands off on her apron, "One- We're both powerful benders, so our kids would be too which would also be very good for our alliance. Two- you two can't even have kids so-" "Hey! Take that back! You can only make points not counterpoints" "Ugh fine! Two-"

The next hour consisted of the siblings giving points and counterpoints to their ever growing who-should-date-the-firelord diagram. They ended up perfectly matched. Which incited argument about whose points were more valid. (which was of course entirely subjective)

"Hm..." Sokka tapped the chalk against his chin, leaving white powder in its wake. "Should we take a break and come back later?"

Katara couldn't help but crack a smile.

"Sure, but only because the soup is done." "Why'd you make so much anyway?" "It's a sort of gift for that group that just got here. Dad asked me to help make them feel welcome, and nothing says welcome like a hot meal,"

Sokka nodded his agreement and plopped down on the pelts with his own bowl of soup. He then chucked a pillow at her as she was laddling the others out.

"Go on then," He chided, she stuck her tongue out in response as she pulled on her parka and gloves. Katara then promptly left with her tray and made her way to the building next door where their guests were staying.

Hours later, she woke Sokka from his dreamless sleep right where she left him. Katara let him know that he won, that Firelord Zuko was all his.

He was going to question it, but his sister was always rather strange. So, if she fell in love with an aircraft then so be it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

See what I did there? ;-)

[rappaccini]

been thinking on how peter's had a lot of love interests over the years, but only six of them most consistently stick around and impact his character. and how the big six model works for other spider-love stories too because it's a good round number that allows for love interest variety and a strong romantic character arc without overcrowding.

so peter's big six are as follows:

liz allan: the one-sided superficial first crush on a rich girl with more social capital that ultimately goes nowhere

betty brant: the first girlfriend who is working-class with whom he eventually returns to being just friends, who ends up with his friend

gwen stacy: the first love, who's his intellectual equal in the classroom and of a steady upper-middle-class (law-enforcement) background he aspires to, who dislikes his alter ego, who he can't be honest to, who dies

mj watson: the true love, who's his equal socially, who isn't the steadiest career-wise and had a hard upbringing, who knows and accepts his alter ego, who he ends up with

felicia hardy: the problematic situationship with a vigilante who isn't a good influence on him, who only cares about the alter ego

cindy moon*: the forced spidermarriage with another spider-person the universe insists he's the 'soulmate' of

[*YES, cindy hasn't been shipped with peter since the mess that was her introduction and it'll hopefully stay that way. but she makes the cut because she's a very memorable character with a very distinct dynamic with peter that's being replicated already-- particularly with miles and gwen: "look, male and female spider-people! let's force them to kiss and call them soulmates!"]

if you line them up, there's a narrative that starts to emerge.

they tend to appear in pairs with a class juxtaposition. in high school, peter is strongly driven by a desire for status and money, and his family's financial situation is precarious: he's choosing between rich (liz) or poor (betty). by going to college, he's settled on being middle-class, so while he's there he has to decide between upper-middle-class stability (gwen) or lower-middle-class authenticity and freedom (mj).

[to note: people didn't used to hate love triangles. that's why they're prominent here. and marvel used to let peter grow up, so he actually can have his love interests spread out.]

and once he's postgrad and his financial situation is kind of set, he's tempted by being a hero. felicia and cindy are contrasted with mj, not each other: does he want to use his powers selfishly and be more of an anti-hero (felicia)? does he want to lean into the mystical spiderverse that thinks he's the chosen one (cindy)?

(we know he's going to circle back to mj. aka, he's going to ultimately choose his humanity instead of his spider-powers.)

demographically, they're all white women and one asian woman (... who he has a hypersexual fling with that's immediately demonized, rejected and treated like it was never serious😬). so uh. peter's that kind of guy.

he prefers civilian girlfriends. makes sense given that he has dead gf trauma he doesn't want to repeat that might make watching her get into a fight be a bit too much. he wants his girlfriend away from the fight, somewhere safe, and he views his vigilantism as something he needs to do alone. [also, marvel used to do civilian love interests.]

the progression seems tied to peter’s age: two high school love interests, two college love interests, two postgrad post-divorce get-my-groove-back-fling love interests.

his overall romantic arc seems to be about peter finding someone who can love both sides of him and ground him, and intersects with the class issues his character constantly contends with. he's tempted by wealth and status, and then by stability and approval, or by the special perks of being a superhero, but ultimately he's a family man who wants something grounded and sincere with someone who has her own interests to pursue, the same way he does. ending up with mj goes hand-in-hand with peter figuring out his principles and embracing that he's an underdog.

at any rate, these characters are far from the only girls peter's had tension, relationships or hookups with, but these are the ones who have the most memorable personalities and the most distinct dynamics with him that have lasting impact on his stories.

tied to their staying power, the first five are also the ones who are adapted the most: if you're writing a peter-spider-man story, you're probably choosing his love interest(s) from this list. and the list tends to be condensed down even more from there (how many times have you seen peter's love interests advertised as betty-gwen-mj-felicia, or gwen-mj-felicia, or gwen-and-mj?) with each woman standing out and contrasting well against each other.

and the six— not the specific love interests, but their attributes and story functions— should be used more for other spider-people. if nothing else because it means each character can have a convenient shortlist of love interests to reference and return to, instead of a constantly-growing stack of quick relationships that never get to deepen or evolve with characters who become easy to forget.

miles

i mentioned this here, but miles's supporting cast is at its strongest when it creates original characters for him to interact with, fills them with elements of classic spider-man characters and their stories, and remixes those stories in a unique way.

so his love interests, at their best, are original characters whose qualities combine and reimagine the big six's.

for example:

katie bishop: liz allan (superficial interest in the first girl he crushes on in canon) x betty brant (first romance).

lana baumgartner: cindy moon (fellow superhero) x mj watson (dysfunctional family background; from his world)

kamala khan: betty brant (remaining friends) x liz allan (unreciprocated crush) x cindy moon (fellow superhero).

gwen stacy (65): gwen stacy (...) x cindy moon (forced spidermarriage) x liz allan (superficial attraction based on a need to gain status through a relationship with her)

barbara rodriguez: gwen stacy (classmate who's naive to his alter ego) x betty brant (goes on to date his friend).

tiana toomes: felicia hardy (initially problematic vigilante) x mj watson (family complications; the true love who balances him out and completes him).

... though there are six listed, honestly i think miles' love interest roster isn't complete yet, and there are one or two more slots left to fill. i'll circle back to that.

first, some notes of interest:

miles inverts the 2:1 civilian to superhuman ratio of peter's love interests. marvel seems to be moving away from the civilian love interest in general... and miles seems to want a partner who can come with him on adventures. he's a more social hero, and more forward-thinking. he's cool with his girlfriend getting in danger (because he hasn't been traumatized by that yet), and he doesn't like superheroing alone.

he's still in high school, yet has had a lot of love interests, which speaks to how characters age a lot slower than they used to these days... and how miles isn't as much of a loser as peter was at his age. he's less sexist and more social, and therefore he's more successful at getting girlfriends than peter was at his age.

instead of sorting the love interests based on when he met them, sort them based on why he's drawn to them: katie and barbara are his classmates. gwen and kamala are prominent heroes in their own right who he keeps getting pr-relationshipped with. lana and tiana are vigilantes from troubled backgrounds who he can influence for the better. two love interests reflect his civilian side, two reflect the hero he wants to be, two bring out both by helping miles remember why he's a hero in the first place-- because of the person he is under the mask-- and influencing him to stay true to that person.

given how editorial pr-shipping miles with gwen and kamala gives him this tendency to uh. step outside of his committed relationships to chase after the idea of dating the brand-friendly superheroes who give him more clout... miles has a recurring issue with objectifying women and treating them like accessories when he's having a crisis of confidence that he needs to work out.

specifically an issue as it pertains to gwen: all his worst instincts are externalized in how he treats gwen. he keeps ignoring when she tells him to stop flirting with him or that she'd rather be friends, has an extremely superficial interest in her mostly tied to using her as a stepping stone to success, and if they get together, he'd be stopping her from coming out. which means he's either so superficially attracted to her that he doesn't even realize she's queer... or he does know and is willingly keeping her from being her authentic self so he can have her as a trophy gf. either way it's a Bad look and he'll never conquer those flaws unless he fully moves on from her.

he's usually drawn to alternative/punkish, artsy, slightly older girls with chips on their shoulders who are more cynical than he is. he wants to fix them, and he's looking for someone to balance his more optimistic tendencies out.

demographically, miles is into white girls at the start of his arc (or when he's being written poorly), and starts branching out to date poc girls once he gains confidence and has a better understanding of himself. narratively this tracks with his overall arc about breaking away from his need to be like peter and committing to representing and protecting his community over getting white people to like him-- and the best realization of his romance arc that'll support his overall arc would be him ending up with a black girl, which we are hopefully moving towards with tiana.

he hasn't had a fridged/tragic love interest, intellectual equal, or been in a toxic dynamic yet in the comics (i mean. that's basically gwiles but no one will admit it. the confirmed toxic dynamic he's had thus far is in the games with phin mason)... raneem rashad, anyone?

anyway at this point, miles is still in high school and has had plenty of love interests. and he's a young enough character that we're just gonna have to see who lasts as more contenders are introduced.

if i had to guess,

kamala will stick around, but won't consistently be his love interest, and even when she is they won't end up together. she and miles are the two biggest New Generation Legacy Heroes and the pr shipping writes itself. but because she's too big a character in her own right and far from his corner of the marvel universe half the time, she might not be a constant adaptation. she'd either be watered down, or it would pull too much focus to explain her presence unless it's specifically a team-up or group story. and even if she does show up, we know it's a given they won't end up together. it's a solid stepping-stone romance.

gwen should have faded into history as a regrettable one-time thing. but because of spiderverse synergy that won't ever happen and the best we can hope for is a temporary relationship. because she's also got too much going on, has her own world and has Gwen Stacy Baggage attached, she’s too difficult to fit into his stories without completely compromising her character to force her into the girlfriend role. not that marvel has a problem doing that. and like kamala, being his love interest holds her back from being her own protagonist with her own stories. she should hopefully not be a constant adaptation... but the spiderverse movies are going to keep causing versions of them to at least flirt with the idea of a relationship. the horse is out of the barn re: stopping this ship from happening again, but hopefully it'll be reframed as an optional and always-temporary situation that isn't good for either of them. which can work; bad relationships can be good character development if you own that they're bad and let them end. if.

tiana (hopefully!) will stick around and make it to the endgame. she's That Great. she's an original character who won't contradict preexisting variants (unlike gwen or katie). she's too unique to be confused for another character. she's got a memorable design, cool powers, fun personality and great backstory that enhances the overall spider-man canon by making the vulture a more developed villain. and she isn't popular enough to steal his spotlight (kamala) or have better things to do elsewhere (kamala, gwen). not to mention that their relationship is the best miles has ever had. this is the girl he should end up with.

barbara might survive... or we'll just get a series of temporary civilian visions academy gfs in her image (like insomniac's hailey cooper). she's easy to adapt... but also easy to forget. and compared to the competition, we all know he's not gonna end up with her.

lana might last, but if she's readapted, she'll probably change a lot. she could step into katie's role as the initial white visions gf (... maybe the only visions gf; sorry barbara), or kamala's in adaptations where ms marvel being in miles's supporting cast would be too distracting but they still want that superhero-flirtation-to-friendship story. she could even take gwen's role as the white superhero he wants to fix and has a problematic infatuation with. it's a tossup, but lana has the range to participate in a lot of stories, and a compelling powerset and backstory that are worth exploring. another solid stepping-stone girlfriend.

katie's probably going to fade away. she has too little impact and is too easy to confuse with kate bishop, hawkeye, to be easily adaptable. no big loss.

... and we're probably due one more major love interest category to take the space katie's going to leave: a tragically villainous tech-powered girl of color, like phin mason or raneem rashad. (... or margo kess, minus the tragic villainy)

it's too early for miles's love interests to scale down from big six to a big four, three or two. the general progression seems to be white girl -> non-black poc girl -> black girl, and civilian gf -> hero gf -> troubled vigilante who becomes a superhero after falling for him. we'll just have to see who it ends up being.

(personally i'm rooting for kamala / lana / tiana to take the big three. realistically it'll be kamala / gwen / hopefully tiana.)

hopefully canon starts to standardize his love interests soon. because if he keeps getting new ones, all of them become easier to forget, and the worst relationship with the best exposure, gwiles, will rise to the top simply because she's the one that made it to the movies, which would be terrible for them both.

as for gwen...

even more complicated.

her character's even newer than miles's, and her romantic history is largely defined by having other people (men. and em jay.) push their desires on her, rather than gwen exploring her own. she's had a lot of false starts, and a lot of obviously queer tension with other women that marvel refuses to act on, but canonically she's barely dated at all and isn't motivated by romance.

gwen also sits between peter and miles in terms of love interest originality: it makes sense for gwen to initially interact with alternate versions of peter's supporting cast, because that's gwen's supporting cast too... but like miles, she should still have unique dynamics with those characters because she's not peter. and since she's gwen-65, she should eventually branch out to relationships with characters on earth-65 that 616-gwen never would have met or gotten close to.

so no, gwen should not end up with earth-65's em jay ~because every spider has their mj~. that idea implies that mj is drawn to peter's spider-powers instead of peter as a person, and that she'd have fallen for anyone who had them. it invalidates the uniqueness of peter and mj's romance by turning mj into a spider-groupie, and of gwen-65 herself (and any spider-person you're trying to shove an mj at to check a box). gwen deserves a love story that's totally new and all hers. no peter, no miles, no alternate version of a peter/miles love interest. give her someone new.

anyway so far i think we can make a case for maybe three or four of hers.

peter parker*: liz allan x gwen stacy. except in this case, he's the one with the superficial one-sided crush on her and he's the one who ends up dead.

miles morales (1610)*: cindy moon, the forced divine spidermarriage. with a bit of liz allan, for the superficiality of it all. (... and felicia, for the toxicity no one will talk about)

harry osborn: primarily betty brant (the high school sweetheart she never got to have who ultimately stays friends with her), with elements of felicia (a former vigilante) and mj (understands and accepts the alter ego)

em jay watson: yes she's an mj, but honestly? she's the gwen stacy (the first love out of high school in the same career path who hates gwen's hero alter ego) with elements of felicia hardy (she's the toxic relationship) and betty brant (going on to date one of gwen's friends)

[*gwen doesn't reciprocate their feelings, but at this point peter and miles' links to gwen are so inescapable it's a given that romantic tension will define their dynamics for the forseeable future. anytime spider-gwen is adapted, she's gonna have to deal with this shit from at least one of them. mentally i'm lumping them together because these fuckers are The Same.]

she has a few major slots left to fill... but gwen's situation isn't quite like miles and peter's. aside from having a different personality and story, she's queer and female, so her romantic arc's gonna differ.

gwen can't be in a relationship with someone on 65 who doesn't know her secret identity because it's already public there (unless there's a status quo reset that gives gwen her privacy back, she dates someone on another world, or we retcon her a high school boyfriend from her early spider-woman days). which makes her unique from peter and miles.

she hasn't seriously dated anyone who's only interested in her famous alter ego yet either. which, given ghost-spider's celebrity status on earth-65, should be an eventuality... johnny-65 or felicia-65, anyone?

gwen-65 was never a science-oriented person, doesn't share peter and miles' humanities-or-stem postgrad conflict, and already committed to music. so a science-minded love interest would result in a different dynamic because gwen wouldn't be their intellectual equal. which could be interesting.

... but if we reframe gwen's postgrad conflict to be 'musician or professional superhero'... dating another full-time vigilante is the logical next step. how about kitty-65? or spider-punk, who's both?

(... and if being torn between two worlds is literal in her being torn between '65 or 616'.... well. maybe dating another superhero who isn't peter or miles on 616 could work too...... so, cindy moon, kaine, laura kinney or anya corazon?)

she hasn't met or begun a relationship with her true love yet. if she even has one. who knows, it's not impossible that gwen will turn out to be ace (though extremely unlikely), or if she'll simply decide to remain single. after all, she isn't romantic and doesn't want a domestic family. she'd be happy on her own.

... and since this has to be stated somewhere, it's all but obvious at this point that gwen's queer. she needs to have both male and female love interests.

being in the closet, pressured into comphet and sucked into imbalanced relationships where she'd be the subservient partner (usually to a man) are currently what defines gwen's romantic life, and the roadblocks stopping her from moving on. so before she gets any further, she's gonna have to resolve those issues first. which is gonna take a while, because of spiderverse synergy throwing her at miles like a tomato at the wall to see if gwiles will stick every year and marvel's reluctance to let her be queer and leave the male gaze.

at this point gwen's love interests can be paired too. and like peter and miles, it's reflective of her romantic arc (evolving from an object of someone else's desire to a subject who chases her own), which is related to her personal one (a queer girl fighting for equality and autonomy in a universe that wants to keep those things from her). it's about gwen's level of agency, equality and reciprocity in the dynamic:

she begins with virtually no say in her relationships and no equality over her partner, who she isn't even that into. she's shoved into forced romances with more popular and powerful men that she isn't particularly attracted to but knows she's 'supposed to be with' who trap gwen in the male gaze, pressure her to live up to an ideal that makes her uncomfortable (earth-8) or kills her (earth-616), and take her away from her world (peter and miles).

she starts to deepen her relationships with people she's sincerely attracted to [who are also her world's versions of peter's supporting cast] but can't be with because of extenuating circumstances related to gwen being a superhero and them being unable to keep up with her (harry and em jay).

logically, the next threshold should be overcoming those circumstances to actually have lasting romantic relationships with people who are her equals. and the love interests should be characters unconnected to peter parker, miles morales, or their supporting casts. something new.

since gwen's all but confirmed as bi at this point, she has to date at least one woman for an extended period of time to lock that in. at least one of those threshold three love interests must be a woman.

and given how much her story revolves around dodging comphet and escaping the effects of the straight male gaze, she should never ever end up with a cishet guy. she must end up with a queer person.

and then maybe we'll find out if gwen's genuinely not interested in romance, or if she was so traumatized that she didn't realize she could be in a healthy relationship with someone she's actually attracted to and like it.

if it's the latter, then she'd better get actual closure with harry and em jay, where she can actually be in relationships with them, since she's barely dated harry and hasn't even gotten together with em jay, or at least acknowledge why ghostgoblin or gwenjay didn't work out.

and then give her 3-4ish major male and female love interests to compensate for the toxic and one-sided relationships she's had so far and never let a straight guy get his hands on her again. most of her experience being that is too depressing.

[fre4kshqw]

Not All Stories Have a Happy Ending - CH1

The air was heavy, a thick fog covering the building. The bright moon is shining as bright as the sun. The building was shone with the moonlight, the only other thing lighting it up was the big motel sign in a bright neon red The breeze brushed the trees and bushes around the building, showing off the buildings cracked plastered walls and mouldy white appearance. It looked like it wasn't taken care of in years, luckily most of the walls were covered by windows and balconies. Most of the windows are covered with the curtains from the inside room, some breezed with the dark cold wind as some windows are left open. To the left of the building was a yellow sign that led to a tunnel, the tunnel leading to a small car park on the other side, the ceiling of the tunnel covered in iridescent lighting like the ones from shopping malls. Two men loomed on the path leading towards the building, both with tired paranoid expressions.

One holding a camera and the other smoking a cigarette, chain smoking, Cigarette after cigarette. The man holding the camera was tall and slim, his eyes constantly wide, like he was running from something. His face was hollow from malnourishment, like he hadn't had time to eat a proper meal. His jaw was covered in a small amount of stubble, almost as if he's given up on shaving. His outfit looked thrown together, it consisted of a brown basketball cap along with a brown hoodie, underneath a plain white shirt, finished with light washed jeans and muddy sneakers. Though the man next to him seemed like his opposite, he was big and broad. His hair was slicked back, leaving his side part to the side still, his facial hair ran down his jaw like sideburns and his eyes had a cold, tired stare. In his hand lay a cigarette that he'd bring to his mouth every few seconds, his lips cracked from the nicotine and cool breeze. His outfit consisted of a red flannel and a beige jacket over it. Then dark washed jeans and steel capped boots.

The two men finally walked inside the ominous building, the place we're they'll stay for the next few weeks. Unless that thing finds them. As they walked in the inside was just like the outside, the walls were cracked and chipped in places, the front desk looked worn out and scratched up, the paint chipping off it revealing the mouldy wood underneath. The two men weren't currently working so this was all they could afford. "You really think this is a good place to stay?" The taller man mumbled anxiously, Jay was often like this always looking over his shoulder and worried about everything. It was a normal reaction to the situation they were in. Along with his anxious behaviour he also records himself, others and every action he takes, which often annoys the smaller man, Tim, off.

Tim took one more drag of his cigarette before pushing it into the already destroyed front desk to put it out. He saw the 'No Smoking' sign and wasn't in the mood for an overpriced fine. "Not sure." he said shortly "I've stayed at worse, we should be grateful for what he has" he spoke quietly while shrugging. Jay nodded in response, he knew he should be grateful considering there's people out there on the same budget with no place to stay. After the two men got their room keys they walked to the room together, the hallways dark and dim, as if they were in a horror movie. The light in the distance flickering and the carpet a deep crimson red, the walls and off white. Almost yellow tone with the same cracks and peels. They get to their door, the wood chipped with the numbers '222' engraved and painted in with white to stand out, though the middle two was barely noticeable.

[lexisism]

bears are like, fast — they can travel distances up to 20-25mph, and they're even faster tree climbers

you've probably already heard but there's a saying and it goes — "if it's black, fight back; if it's brown, get on the ground; if it's white, goodnight"

and that's mostly because

1. black bears are typically the most docile species of bear, and most of the time their diet while still consisting of the meat they need to eat, also consists of shit like plant, berries, nuts, etc... but you don't literally "fight back" PLEASE don't swing on a bear LMAO no just make urself look bigger than them, try to make a lot of noise yell at it something (can also work with some brown bears too!), and they'll leave you alone... they're a bear who constantly forgets it's a bear god bless

2. if you are actively being threatened by a brown bear, and in cases where making yourself bigger doesn't help you out, lay down !! play dead, don't move, especially if you're already in the middle of an attack, as the bear will nudge you a few times just to ensure you're a goner, because if you move, or give any sign that you're still, in fact, alive, the bear will still think it has something to be threatened by and you won't need to play pretend no more

but I also think this can work without a direct attack? by getting on the ground, you're posing as little as a threat as possible I'm comparison to the big bear and giving it less of a reason to attack you by doing so I believe

3. if ur ever caught in a scuffle with polar bears then I hope you have ur will written out. they're called "obligated carnivores," which means they constantly hunt, kill, eat, and that can be digested into their behaviors too. and with the sudden spike in them at risk of going extinct due to global warming and people, they'll really see us as a threat to them, meat on our bones or not tbh

they're also known for being able to stalk down prey for hours or days at a time, so if youre ever attacked by a polar bear, that shit was PREpremeditated

but it was said something like polar bears have ADHD??? I guess?? so if you throw something like a clothing article it'll distract them long enough for you to get away... and unless you have a car you can speed out of the Arctic with or have a jet already on standby then ur just giving it a frostbitten ass to bite 😭

bears are sooo cool imo, polar bears scare the absolute hell out of me though 😭 so beautiful but damn!!! how they hunt their prey is so)?/$2$ its cool but pls not me 🥺 this guy i knew was faced with TWO 😭 shot one and got inside away from the other but MAN horrifying to hear.

we have a lot of black bears, majority of the bear species here are black. some brown ones are up closer to vancouver. i can’t add much because i didn’t learn anything above bear safety but these all are super right on the threat meter lmao 😭

[bilbobagginsomebabez]

i can be described as nothing less than ruthlessly principled. it's a dangerous quality in a person but i think i may be the one in a million who happened upon some good principles according to reviews so i will share. i was abused as a child by people who suffered psychosis which gave me both an obsessive attention towards harm and an obsessive need for proof before I act, and i love to read. well. it turns out we have an absolute fuckton of data about things that hurt people especially regarding abuse. because people are typically fucking begging you to listen to what hurts them.

and it's like. yeah there's a data threshold. it first has to echo what we know of abuse. all of the -isms and phobias are culturally normalized interpersonal abuses towards a member of a particular group of people. the big abuses of an entire group over another group are built on millions upon millions of the tiny constantly reinforced interpersonal abuses of one human to another human and our collective deafening silence in the face of it.

when a white person does something racist and then gets sad and upset that a person of color was hurt, it's literally fucking classic DARVO. Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender.

Deny: no i couldn't have been racist i would never be racist im a good person Attack: you're the mean person because you thought i was being racist and failed to provide me with enough benefit of the doubt to know i was always being a good person Reverse Victim and Offender: i can't believe that someone would think so poorly of me i'm so nice and so kind and so good i would never be racist or hurt someone else you hurt me by accusing me of being a bad person and i deserve an apology for being taken in bad faith.

like think about it. for real. think about how your bosses treat you and if you would tolerate it in an acquaintance. think of yourself as a human, a full human with a body and needs and a family and a home life and emotions and an extremely social and intelligent animal who figured out that living in groups makes it easier to survive and take care of our loved ones. then think of every single other organism in the species classification "homo" that exact same way.

you know you're safer in a bigger group that cares for you. if you're american, think about how what you're gonna do if you need to crowdfund a fucking medical bill. think about how much we need each other for every aspect of our lives. how many guys it took to cut and harvest the wood that builds every single one of your buildings and the guys that delivered it and the guys that assembled it into your house and the plumbing and electrical guys and more and more and more who make your house possible. think about the people in the factories who do the dangerous work of making the screws of every size and shape that hold every single one of your devices you couldn't live without together. how many people does your life rely on? and don't they deserve to live well? and doesn't living well necessarily mean freedom from abuse? your boss can scream at you and you probably can't do anything about it. why are we in a human group where it's okay for one member to abuse another.

we are a culture that permits abuse. it's that simple. we say that it's okay to abuse someone in certain ways based on certain characteristics. if you refuse to allow any level of interpersonal abuse in your presence, things get a lot more clear and easy to navigate. verbal denigration is verbal denigration. gaslighting is gaslighting. your culture will tell you that there are types of "good" power imbalances, "necessary" checks to autonomy, verbal denigration that is deserved, or types of gaslighting that are required. it's always a lie. interpersonal abuse of any kind is always violent, always cruel, always controlling. there is no variety that is acceptable. structural power imbalances are obvious and abusive behaviors are consistent if you're brave enough to accurately identify them and recognize them for the harm they are everywhere they are.

[hartleysbaldursgateblog]

Get to know my (first+main) Tav!

challenge here :)

Caspier Beludaire / white dragonborn / light domain cleric of Bahamut / he/him male

What is your Tav’s…

favorite weapon: Caspier is a mace wielder, but that usually is the last thing used in his arsenal. He prefers to talk his way out of conflict when possible, then fights with spells. His hand isn’t the most steady so he tries to avoid weapon-based combat, especially at close quarters. So the mace comes last. If we’re talking specifics, during the events of the game he wielded the Blood of Lathander, but after the Netherbrain fell he turned the Blood over to the Stormshore Tabernacle to hold until a Lathanderian clergy could reclaim the relic. He was comfortable using it for the adventure, but in times of peace he doesn’t feel right about taking away the holy artifact from actual Lathander worshippers.

style of combat: Caspier fights at what would be considered mid-range to maximize his support and offensive spells. He usually sticks to open or elevated areas with as much of the battle in his field of view as possible and usually won’t move until his spell range is disrupted.

most prized possession: A necklace with a pendant made of an ivory-white stone, carved into the vague shape of a flying dragon. It is his one remaining connection to his home and long-gone family, but he does not wear it. The necklace itself is too small for him, as it was a gift made for him when he was a hatchling, and he hasn’t bothered replacing the loop. He is more comfortable with it sat somewhere safe, which is currently on a small cushion on his dresser at the foot of an idol of Bahamut.

deepest desire: A home and a family. Caspier defines this however he wishes, and by the end of the game’s events I think he has one. He was separated from his birth family and clan, something of great importance to dragonborn, at a very young age and bears almost no memory of those things. As a young teen he was then taken in by a small village only to be exiled on suspicion of “corrupting” their children with his strange dragonborn faith and ways. Caspier is not desperate to reclaim what he has lost, he knows it’s already gone, but as someone who spent so much of his life wandering, a few years somewhere that could be considered a home, only to be sent to wander again, a place to anchor himself to sounds great. And as for a family, it doesn’t have to be blood, or marriage, or adoption, friends work too. He wants to have people in his life who aren’t a temporary fixture as he’s forced to move on again. So one could even say the only thing he wants is consistency—Caspier doesn’t define it as that, though.

guilty pleasure: Yes, he’s a kindly mediator who doesn’t like to take sides on much and does not at all relish conflict… but oh, he can’t resist some gossip and drama. He blames Astarion for it. Astarion blames it on him never having enough people to consistently talk to that now he wants to know all their business (but hey, he won’t judge~). Caspier is living proof that “can we all just stop and get along and communicate?” and “he said WHAT? oooh gurrrl tell ALL” can and do coexist.

best-kept secret: His second ever “friend”. As a traveling cleric, he rendered aid to many people and helped support plenty of strangers. He never had time to actually make friends because he was constantly on the move and keeping in contact with anyone was an awfully difficult task, but having not had consistent friends since he was a child and having rather recently been exiled from the village he called his home for most of his teen years and early adulthood, when a grateful patient he had done healing work for came to him claiming to admire him and his patience and faith greatly, and considered him an inspiration, he all too happily took the man’s offer to try and keep in touch no matter how hard. I’ll limit the details here, but let’s just say that when he thought he acquired a friend he could write to and visit on his travels should they have the good fortune to meet again, he really acquired someone who rapidly turned from friend to obsessive stalker. The story is long and complicated but Caspier had managed to shake the man some years back, but doesn’t like talking about it—he ignored many of the warning signs others cautioned him about the man early on, too blinded by his desire to have a friend and the flattery the man laid on him, so he felt as if he couldn’t say anything about it or didn’t have the right to, and in other cases he feared talking about it would somehow give the man an avenue to track him down again. It’s in the past, so he says. Tied to that, though, is that Caspier Beludaire is not his real name. Well, it is to him now, but the attack on his family's caravan and the head trauma that came to him because of it meant his birth name is all but lost to him. He's usually unbothered by it, unless around other dragonborn. Clan is everything to dragonborn, after all, and while they question his bizarre name, to him it's better that he insists his clan was just as strange as the name they gave him rather than admitting he is a dragonborn without a clan.

greatest strength: Compassion. Being a cleric of light and of a good-aligned god, this is part of his belief. He is patient, communicative, and always willing to afford people a chance. Even people he does not necessarily like or trust. In the village he once lived in, as the only dragonborn, he was treated with barely concealed disgust and suspicion, yet he was still a bit of a hometown hero, especially to the children. And as Bahamut’s will would be done, he will jump into combat only to protect the innocent. He is personable and kind.

fatal flaw: Naïveté. His compassion is a double-edged sword, and while Bahamut’s paladins may be unwavering hands of justice, Caspier as a cleric is bound to no oath and may jeopardize his morals to help someone who may not need it. Caspier’s philosophy is to always see the good in others or expect that good may be there, hidden away, and he often gives chances that are not due. This can cause trouble more often than not, considering he strives to always assume the best in people. That attitude—combined with a craving for companionship and approval, which is probably his second strongest flaw—was largely what let him enable the toxic friendship he was in for so long. He never learns, either. Caspier thinks he is just doing the duty of his god—a transgression will have to happen right before his eyes for him to act on it. This is not to say he doesn’t care for justice, but he believes too strongly in the idea that everyone is well-intentioned and honest, and every time that philosophy is proven to not be the most accurate he can take it quite personally. He fell hook, line and sinker for Astarion’s manipulation at the start of their romance, for example. Sometimes it can transcend being simply naive and turn to more of him being an oblivious blockhead.

favorite smell: Morningglory. They’re a flower so plentiful that to many they might as well be a weed, but there’s something that’s always appealed to him about them in every aspect—appearance and smell. They aren’t even that fragrant like some other flowers but the smell brings back good memories of picking them in the wilds as he wandered through with his childhood best friend.

favorite spell or cantrip: Radiance of the Dawn. He feels like a true agent of Bahamut’s will and righteous justice when he wills His divine light to cleanse the area around him!

pet peeve: Being ignored/needing to repeat himself to make a point. Caspier considers himself a very patient man, but his companions test that patience sometimes when they (cough cough Astarion and Gale) become fixated on something and won’t listen to reason. Caspier is absolutely the sort to yell “that’s what I’ve been trying to say all this time!” when an unnecessary conflict finally resolves. Oh, and post-canon when he’s finally living a domestic life—dirty kitchens. Even the tiniest bit of grime makes his skin crawl.

bad habit: He picks his scales. He’s got some bad patches every now and then, some not growing back in just right after he sheds, because he just idly picks at his scales and oftentimes pulls them off before they’re ready to be shed. It’s not all that rare to see his fingers bandaged or bleeding.

hidden talent: Animal handling! It’s not something that would really ever come up, especially for a cleric, but with all the time he’s spent wandering the wilds and not to mention all the times he tended to the village livestock trying to win the villager’s trust and approval, he’s seen his fair share of creatures of all stripes and can interact with them quite well. He has a secret love for spiders, actually, and can handle them especially well. The bigger the better. (Folk Hero background proficiency bonus lol)

leisure activity: Now that the Absolute business has concluded, when he isn’t in prayer or meditation or otherwise serving his god, he also finds peace in crafting models. Halsin taught him the fundamentals of wood carving and Caspier is trying to learn more of the craft. He likes to create little models of animals and monsters he knows.

favorite drink: Fruit juices, mixed fruit drinks. Probably what we might consider “fruit punch”. He’s never been a fan of liquor, and that’s not even a restriction that comes with being a cleric—just a preference. He likes his drinks sweet and indulgent.

comfort food: Highly specific, but he loves a good plate of potato wedges and cheese fondue. Yum. He could indulge in carbs and cheese all day. !

favorite person: His dear beloved Astarion of course! Every day he spends with his favorite vampire is a treat. He's so proud of Astarion and how he's grown. Caspier couldn't imagine a relationship more fulfilling.

favored display of affection (platonic and/or romantic): Physical touch is very sacred to him but used very sparingly. He's a bit shy about presenting physical affection for fear he might scare someone off. That kind of affection is used for people who he is exceptionally comfortable with, like Astarion. What he uses much more readily is words of affirmation. It's another thing about fearing losing people, Caspier constantly wants to affirm his bonds and remind his loved ones how much they mean to him. He never wants them to feel like he's taking them for granted, but even though he uses words of affirmation often, they don't lose any meaning to him, at least, no matter how often they're said. He's especially fond of the platonic "I love you" a sincere "thank you".

fondest childhood memory: His earliest childhood memories are highly fragmented. One sticks out to him, though, being a few days after he was separated from his family. He met his one and only childhood best friend rather shortly after the separation, but only after a few days did the shock finally settle and he was able to appreciate his friend's presence for the blessing it was. Caspier recalls that first day it felt like his life started moving again, remembering when he and his friend, Jalis, came across a clear, rocky stream in their wandering through the wilds. Caspier had been in such a haze for so long, feeling the bite of the cold water when he stood in it did wonders to clear his head. He remembers sitting on a particularly large rock, mindful of how slick and wet it was, and dipping his hands in the brook to feel the current brush against his palms. It felt like the first time he was truly present again after the attack on his family's caravan that separated them. Then Jalis came running by, chasing a frog, yelling about how he'd never seen the creature before. Caspier remembers laughing and joining him, having never seen a frog himself in his cold, snowy birthplace, but he was at least aware of what the creatures were. They chased the frog until sundown and were both soaking wet. He remembers laughing as Jalis finally caught the frog, only to hold it at arms' length with a disturbed look on his face as it began screaming.

Is there anything else you'd like to share? (feel free to include art or a screenshot of your Tav if available!)

Nothing atm but if you ask me anything about him I’ll cry my ass will be so happy

[babiejoshi]

Lead us to the Caves pls, I would like to slurp some Yiga Theory condensation off of the stalactites

i wanted to initially make a video about this but the way this is worded i know i MUST answer

take to mind this theory was built up almost exclusively on botw and NOT hw:aoc or totk but it also includes elements from games like oot/mm/ww/mc/tp and a few others here and there but dont worry about it, at its core its a botw thing

okay so the relationship between the sheikah and the hylain family is strange. like incredibly strange. like... racist strange. Just looking at it from the perspective of being an non-white american, the relationship between them gets worse and worse the more you look into it. A specific "race" or rather ethnic group of people is designated to work specifically FOR the royal family of hyrule, and its worded in ways that are insultingly so. "The only majorly accepted theology in this nation denotes an entire ethnic group of people to exclusively live and serve the family which by the way are also descendants of the main god of said religion" A group of people that just so happen to "enjoy" this servitude in any and all aspects that they are seen, constantly passing down traditions of generations of rules and expectations on to their children on how to train and protect and use even your best intelligence and technology, not for you, not for your lives or families but rather EXCLUSIVELY for the royal family. A family that consistently, over and over, fail and fall. Sometimes for uncontrollable means, other times its due to things like a war. But regardless of the reason, no matter what hyrule, despite having the god descendants themselves running the nation, it always falls into disrepair. which ok fine that happens... but if you look at other nations in the zelda universe while they will have conflicts (thats why theyre a part of the games to begin with) often sort that shit out, and we never hear about them again. (A, B, C) kind of like they learned from it or something.

Now hear me out for a sec because this is the actual theory and the stuff before is just kind of setting it up.

The sheikah are slaves, and the yiga clan are a group of individuals that rose against the people that oppressed them and had forced them into servitude but while doing so were painted as working for and outright supporting the uprising of ganon. The yiga do not attack regular people, the only ones that they ever seem to actually attack are

members of the royal family

link but only when he speaks to them

link AFTER beating master kohga or asserting alliance with the sheikah/the royal family

somebody who snuck into THEIR base (okay okay yeah they stole the thunderhelm first but like if you hear big dick is back in town what are you gonna do? just sit there and let them reinstill the one thing that you spent a century keeping successfully at bay? no youre gonna try and take away that power from them even if it means thievery.)

the shiekah like twice canonically (and really thats arguably only once because if it werent for dorian WHO WAS A YIGA it probably wouldnt have gone past stealing the heirloom.)

Now that seems like a lot, but is it really?

And the thing is... we know this isnt *that* crazy of a movement. For one, there are WAY more members of the yiga clan than there are of the sheikah, which implies that a mass amount of the sheikah race, and people who were mixed with the sheikah, were in fact fed up with being forced into slavery. >i.e. learning and training on a constant basis, exclusively to serve a kingdom that routinely takes advantage of peoples and forgets about them or throws them aside once their benefit is no longer necessary

For another, the idea of deliberately working to overthrow a political system and economic class that has kept your race specifically down from being seen as anything other than servants isn't really that farfetched. Not to mention using real world history we know that often times, groups that align themselves with the idea of gaining civil rights are often not only ridiculed and disrespected but also are painted in media as "bad guys". listen i know what im about to say is embarrassing, and its incredibly stupid to compare real world groups of activist to that of a villain organization in a childrens game but i mean we know that irl activist and civil rights groups, especially ones that often advocate for direct action, are typically portrayed in media and the world around us as terrorist organizations, whether or not they actually are. especially if the actions of said organizations or movements are valid. What I'm saying is... I dont think they actually give a fuck if ganon is in power. If anything it would make a lot of sense that they don't want anyone in power. But that doesn't read well, it doesnt fear monger. It makes the yiga but especially the sheikah the victims of generational violence, which the royal family WOULD DEFINITELY NOT WANT THE GENERAL PUBLIC OF HYRULE TO KNOW.

And why not? Well... Then whos the bad guy? Not the hyrulean family, not the same family that had a war with a neighboring nation made up almost entirely of women for decades where in which they tortured said women in a secret well in the middle of their godly given slave race's town that only specific people would have been able to navigate purposefully hiding what would have been war crimes all for a little bit of land. NOO NOT THEM.. THEY WOULD NEVER

Not only that but also,, the yiga are kind of, one of the only actually functioning societies left.

That's not even mentioning... The yiga don't outright hate the sheikah. like its even seen in how they speak to them. They clearly have ties to them, not only in their practices and knowledge but in general. Dorian is a great example of this, because yes he is currently no longer a member of the yiga it doesn't change the fact that he initially was, but even at the end of the day his race was still sheikah and that his wife, before her death, is also implied to have been a sheikah. it's not the sheikah themselves that they hate, that would be stupid. to hate your own race, your own kin. its ridiculous, but not nearly as ridiculous as laying down on your back and accepting that you (someone who just so happened to exist) must live exclusively as a servant, even if your master is away. It's not just selling yourself short, its selling your children and your ancestors equally as short. Saying deliberately that you are nothing purely because they say you are. Who wouldn't uprise from that? Don't you want to quit these patterns?

I really hate how they made the yiga in botw, actually i hate a lot of the weird race stuff they do in loz but particularly i hate how they butchered the sheikah and how they keep fucking them up. like.. i dunno man

It's just not fair...

[muiltifandomnerd]

hello! I would like a Percy Jackson matchup! Romantic matchup and how we met + cabin + weapon + platonic relationship

Name: Anna Lee

Pronouns: She/her

Preference: Male

Age range: Any

Personality: I am an INTJ Slytherclaw, Aquarius and a Type 6 when it comes to anagrams. I am a huge overthinker and stress a lot with anxiety. People tell me that I can be blunt which results in people thinking that I can be cold but in reality I try to be a kind person when it is needed. I am a realist and many consider me to be intelligent, often asking me to help with their work. I’m incredibly passionate about things I like to do and have a thirst to know everyone’s opinions as I feel that if someone is left out. I’m a creative person but sometimes my brain just goes blank, I hate when it does. I sometimes follow the rules and can be serious if I wish to be but normally I like to goof off and break rules, adrenaline rushing through my body is just a different feeling I can’t explain. I have a really dry sense of humour that usually is a mix of sarcasm, fandom jokes or self degrading jokes. I'm an extremely stubborn person and have to be right about everything. From a young age, my parents were extremely strict and had expected the best out of me which resulted in me being an overachiever. I have to get things perfect or be the best at what I’m doing. I'm really sensitive, even some small harsh words are enough to make me teary. I’ve been called a crybaby because of that and to be honest, that is true. I give too much to other people since I’m afraid of saying no since what if they hate me? And I'm too scared to ask for help or to have something cause I think they will think I'm selfish and worthless. Not the best self esteem 😔 I love to listen to other people since I think not a lot of people have others that they can tell what they wish to say without getting judged or outcasted. When I get excited, I speak really quickly and stumble over my words which I get embarrassed by and stop talking. I have a rosy view of how the world works—or more specifically, of the people I love. Like sometimes I point out the negative things in life but when with other people, especially those I love, I always see the goodness and beauty in everything. I am very sensitive, especially when it comes to my appearance and personality. I’m always afraid that people are constantly judging me or hate me, which is why I tend to avoid public spaces or being around people in general. When I get familiar with someone or a crowd, I’m not that afraid to state my opinion. I’m not that good at describing personality but here are a few kins if it is helpful : Navier, Mikasa, Regulus Black, Annabeth, Shinobu, Shoko ( Jjk), Geto etc.

Looks: Half-Korean and Half- White. I’m slightly chubby and curvy with a pear-shaped body (D cups). Upon seeing me, many people point out my eyes which are hazel with slight flecks of many colours such as green and amber being the prominent ones. Almond eyes that are doe-like and slightly turn up at the end but barely noticeable. I have a button nose and thin heart shaped lips. My face is round and my eye shape is almond. I am approximately 5’3. Two small moles are fixated on my right cheek and underneath my lip. Long dark brown hair that almost appears black but that solely depends on the lighting. My hair reaches my hips and is kinda wispy at the end. It’s usually on a ponytail with a few strands framing my face. My clothing style tends to be anything comfortable and classy. I prefer to wear black and colours that are darker, you will never find me wearing orange or neon colours. My clothing always consists of a dress of some sort. Light Academia mixed with cottagecore. Not really afraid to show some skin but I do get shy easily so there is a certain limit.

Likes: Chocolate, Anime, Music, Food, Being right about something, Reading, Drawing, Strawberries, Smell of Rain, Sleeping, Being the Best, Baking, Daydreaming, Murder Mysteries, Romance , Fiction, Name hunting, Pinterest and Flower Languages.

Dislike: Loud noises, Jerks, Prejudice People, Slow Walkers, People who chew loudly, Getting look down on, Insects, Studying, Fake People, Self-pity, Getting below 90% in a test, Coffee, Snow, Going outside, and the feeling where your brain is blank and can’t tell what you feel like.

Love Language: Physical Touch and Quality Time

Ideal Type: Preferred dark hair and pretty eyes. I don’t know, I’m just soft with Tsunderes. Will always be there for me and not afraid to speak their mind. Honest and loyal. Someone I can call her best friend, I can be weird around them and they won’t mind at all,Yet they would still help me see the light at the end of the tunnel and tell me it’s okay, that everything is gonna be okay. I wouldn’t like ‘innocent’ people nor ‘kind’ people cause I feel like I won’t be able to connect with them based on my morality level. Someone who’s taller than me for sure, it gives me a sense of calm. I find brooding people hot cause I like testing people’s patience. Will be attentive to my needs. Not necessarily loud but not quite, somewhere in between. I want someone who I can feel okay around, as if everything was fine. Someone who would help carry a burden with me, we are together in everything. A type of person who would wait for me when I’m tying my shoelaces. But like they wouldn’t mind teasing me at points but do understand their limits so I don’t end up crying my eyes out. Also as that one audio goes “I wanna big boy, give me a big boy ~” I can so agree.

Also, if you answer this request would it be possible to leave out this info in the reblogged answer? I would really prefer that to be used only for making the match-up

thank you!

I think the best pjo guy could be Alasbaster Torrington.

Alabaster has your perfer appearance and personality, with brooding green eye and dark brown hair.

He has magic powers and is a good analyst.

He could support your creative ideas and passions.

He is more of a rebel and will call out corrupt authority.

You could teach him to move one from the past and could help him be playful

[tomsawyee]

something in the last, like, year or so has completely killed any of my desire to ever interact with A Fandom ever again, and I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about it--

I used to have a notion that, even if my personal ways of interacting with the media I enjoy on a deeper level never aligned with the “mainstream” of a given fandom, I could still carve out a place to enjoy myself. But the more time I’ve spent in these spaces, the more absolutely convinced I am that they are, despite what they would adamantly insist, generally repellent to critical thinking. And I always knew this, a great deal of us always knew this, but I’ve just. Lost the ability to politely ignore it while I do my own thing, because those people inevitably find the things I make, anyway. And I still have to fucking listen to them. Because they are the majority. And as audiences churn, the core base never learns anything.

As the internet centralizes, actively contributing to this hobby community gets you labeled a Content Creator, and with that comes the mob expectation that you create content. For free. On demand. This exacerbates the perceived social divide between Creators and Consumers. People who don’t actually contribute to the body of work get this idea that they are being forced into an Out Group, when in reality, the In Groups are generally just people who care about the thing more than you and end up making friends because of it. This is particularly obvious in big fandoms. Creators are at the same time perceived as Fandom Elite while also being your unpaid court jesters.

And fandom is racist! It’s so fucking racist, and it hides it in pseudo-progressive, frequently queer language while constantly looping the same shitty excuses for whitewashing and ooc stereotyping and bending over backwards to cut POC out of the picture as much as humanly possible, REGARDLESS of what the original text says. So, so often, I go back into the source material thinking “Am I the one who remembers this the wrong way??” only to find that, no, the fandom presence for a given series will always default to distilling the text down to only its white people, then only its lighter skinned people. Characters of color are props to fandom. There is zero interest in the internal lives and humanity of people of color. Fandom would rather make a white protagonist Ambiguously Tan than pay half a mind to an actual character of color. And if you point it out, you get dogpiled by white queers self-righteously crytyping in your notes. Fandom friends and friendly acquaintances of color I meet are always the first people to burn out and leave, because being here is so consistently hostile. Of course AO3 is 70%+ white. Why the fuck would you willingly put yourself through this?

Despite this, we fancy ourselves a ‘progressive’ subculture because we allegedly care about things like ‘representation,’ a concept that has lost all meaning in a dozen different, equally infuriating ways. The delusions of a Higher Purpose, of fandom as political statement or even activism, are all the more embarrassing under this lens. The pervasive idea that fandom exists to “““fix”““ the silly, dumb “““regressive”““ source material by sanding down every single corner until it is the same featureless sphere that can be effortlessly slibbered down like every other cookie cutter re-imagining that came before it. The idea that professional writers are generally outclassed by fandom writers. Pestering creatives on the bird app worked for Glee, so now every time something happens that we don’t like, it becomes a social media moral crusade that is honestly embarrassing to be even tangentially associated with. I’m not here to change the scope of entertainment, or to keyboard warrior for some fictional characters produced by a multi-billion dollar media company that will never see me as anything but a demographic with a wallet. I’m here because a work made me feel creative. It’s not that deep.

(the more expensive the art is to make, the less likely it is to ever target “risky” smaller demographics! this is why TV and film and AAA games suck so much! if you want more textual queerness, read books!) (or listen to them!) (look up some webcomics!) (enormous media companies will NEVER be beacons of creative progress!)

So yeah I’ve come to accept that me and this world are just. Fundamentally incompatible. I’m never going to like it here, despite really, really trying for half my lifetime. I need to stop trying to carve out spaces for myself, because the percentage of people who legitimately care about critical and creative analysis of art and fiction is exponentially smaller than this community would have you think.