#it's very admirable <3 i want that kind of friendship as well

[mononijikayu]

delicate — geto suguru.

Suguru glared at Gojo. “I’m not concerned, I just—” “Uh–uhuh, keep talking.” “I’m just some friend—acquaintance. Worried.” Suguru narrowed his eyes. “Seriously, Satoru. I don’t know what you’re going on about. If I'm in love with them, shoot me.” Without missing a beat, Gojo grinned, “Bang.” He made a playful gun gesture with his hand and gave Suguru a wide grin. “Cupid’s bullets confirm!”

GENRE: Alternate Universe - Modern AU!;

WARNING/s: Fluff, Romance,, Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Light-Hearted, Slice of Life, Friendship, Confessions, Humor, Getting Together, Mutual Affection, Love, Pining, Kissing, Profanity, Mention of Fighting, Mention of Bruising, Outcast! Geto Suguru, Popular Cheerleader!Reader;

WORDS: 6.9k words.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: i made this while thinking about what dynamic i wanted to see between cute couples. and here we are. this was supposed to be shorter too, but it ended up way way longer than 4k words. but im satisfied with this. i hope you enjoy!!! i love you all <3

ADDENDUM: i just found out gege akutami said jjk ends in five chapters and i just want to say that this is going to be hard for me since ive been a fan since 2019.

but i will say ill continue to write as much as i can for this story, enjoy the anime with you for years to come. im sad of course, but im thankful. im grateful for gege akutami for letting me meet his lovely story and his bountiful characters.

and of course because of him, i met all of you. i am very grateful. from beginning to end. i am crying but i am happy too. i love jjk a lot you guys. hugs and kisses to manga fans everywhere. lets hope for a happy end to the story we have loved 🥹🫶

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kayu's playlist - side 900;

if you want to, tip! <3

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🌌*ੈ𑁍༘⋆

YOU WEREN’T LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. You were the it-girl, so sought after. The shining star. You were the girl everyone wanted to be—effortlessly beautiful, charming, and the center of attention at Jujutsu College. As a cheerleader, you had it all: the admiration of your peers, the envy of others, and the kind of popularity that opened every door.

Everywhere you went, eyes followed. Whispers trailed in your wake, a symphony of awe and envy that only fueled your rise to the top. You were untouchable, your smile a weapon, your presence a force. Parties, events, and the campus buzzed with your name. Everyone wanted to be near you, to bask in the glow of your effortless charisma. But all of that came crashing down when you chose to stand up for what you believed was right.

The whispers got worse the moment they took to the locker room. One of the newer cheerleaders, a girl named Emi, was their target—shy, awkward, and an easy mark for their cruelty. You watched it unfold for days, biting your tongue, hoping it would stop. They were the same, the seniors who already graduated. You let them do it then, because you hoped they’d stop like the seniors did. But they did not. Instead, it went too far.

You looked at them for a moment, trying not to be obvious. This was going too far. The girl was about to cry, maybe she’d even get even more hurt. This is enough. You cannot stay and just stay silent anymore. Maybe it was the memory of your own first days on the squad, when you weren’t yet the queen bee, when you still had something to prove. Or maybe it was just a sense of fairness that you couldn’t ignore. But you knew that this had to stop. This has to end.

"God, Emi, you can’t even get a basic cheer right. Why are you even here?" one of the girls sneered, her voice dripping with disdain.

Emi stood frozen, her eyes welling up with tears. The other cheerleaders laughed, egging each other on, pushing her closer to the edge. You bit your lip, closing your locker with a loud bang, causing everyone to look at you. You could feel Emi’s eyes on you too, shaking with fear as tears fell from her cheeks. 

“Leave her alone, you freaks!” you said, your voice sharp as you stepped forward. “That is enough. She doesn’t deserve this. You’ve gone too far, even more than our seniors!”

They turned to you, surprise flickering across their faces before it morphed into mockery. You moved forward to the captain, eyes narrowed as you glared at her. You shook your head at her. “Just leave her alone. She’s a freshman. She doesn’t need your shit.”

“What, are you her knight in shining armor now?” one of the lackeys taunted, crossing her arms. “You’re supposed to be on our side, aren’t you? This is a tradition for us seniors.”

“I’m on the side that’s not full of bullies.” you shot back, your anger boiling over. “Being bullied doesn’t mean you should be one!”

“What’s your problem?” another girl snapped, stepping closer, her tone threatening. “She’s dead weight, and you know it.”

You clenched your fists, trying to keep your temper in check. “My problem is that you’re all acting like a bunch of jerks. If you can’t see that, then maybe you’re the dead weight.”

The tension in the room exploded like a storm that had been brewing for too long. You could feel it in the way the air seemed to thicken, in the way eyes narrowed and lips curled into sneers. It started with a harsh word—one of those sly, cutting remarks that slid under the skin like a blade. But this time, you couldn’t let it slide. Not when it was aimed at Emi, the quiet girl who had been on the receiving end of too many of those slights.

You were on your feet before you even realized it, the words spilling out of you in a rush of anger and defiance. “What’s your problem? Why do you always have to pick on someone who’s done nothing to you?”

Your voice cut through the chatter, silencing the room. The others stared at you, shocked that you—of all people—would dare to break ranks. The lead cheerleader, the queen bee, glared at you, her eyes narrowed into slits. “What, are you her bodyguard now? Don’t act like you’re better than us.”

It was the spark that lit the fire. The room erupted into chaos as insults were hurled back and forth. You didn’t back down, not when they turned their barbs on you, not when they sneered at Emi. It all escalated so fast—too fast. Suddenly, hands were shoving, nails were scratching, and before you knew it, you were in the middle of a full-blown fight.

You could barely make sense of it all. The adrenaline surged through you, drowning out the pain as someone’s fist connected with your cheek, leaving a nasty bruise that would bloom later. All you could think about was protecting Emi, keeping her out of the fray, even as the world around you descended into chaos.

The chaos only ended when the coaches rushed in, their voices booming as they waded into the mess of tangled limbs and flaring tempers. They pulled you all apart, demanding to know what had happened, their faces a mix of shock and anger.

But it was too late—the damage was done. You could see it in their eyes, the way they looked at you now, like you were the problem. The principal was called in, and you found yourself standing in his office, staring at the floor as he lectured you about school spirit and the responsibilities that came with your position.

Your words fell on deaf ears. They didn’t want to hear about the bullying, about how you were just trying to protect Emi. All they saw was the fight, the disruption, and the girl who had gone from golden to tarnished in a matter of minutes.

When you returned to the locker room, it was like a slap in the face. Your things had been removed from your team locker, stuffed unceremoniously into a bag and left on the floor. You were no longer welcome. The cheerleaders, the same girls who had once been your closest friends, looked at you with cold eyes and turned their backs.

You had wanted to protect Emi, and now you were left with a throbbing bruise, a reprimand from the principal, and a cold emptiness where your friends used to be. But even as you walked out of that locker room, head held high despite everything, you knew you’d do it all over again. Because some things were worth fighting for, even if it meant losing everything else.

The next day, you found yourself officially kicked off the squad. Well, Emi was also kicked out too, but you were glad that she wasn’t at all hurt. That was what mattered. The news spread like wildfire, and the people who once idolized you now whispered behind your back. Your world felt like it was crumbling, and you couldn’t help but wonder if you’d made the biggest mistake of your life.

Later that afternoon, you found yourself sitting alone outside, trying to process everything that had happened. Emi had repeatedly apologized to you today, but you kept waving her off and told her to stay safe around school. It wasn’t really her fault. Maybe if you had acted much earlier, maybe Emi wouldn’t have had to go through the worst. Perhaps this was your punishment. This was what happened because of your inaction. And you feel like you deserve this. You deserve to be punished like this. You could only sigh.

That’s when you heard someone approaching.

“You know, I always thought cheerleaders were supposed to be a tight-knit group.” a voice drawled. 

You looked up to see Gojo Satoru standing there, hands in his pockets, a mischievous smile playing on his lips. “Guess I was wrong, huh?”

“Guess so.” you muttered, feeling the sting of his words even though they weren’t meant to hurt. “I’m sorry, have I met you before?”

“I don’t think so.” He says, removing his round sunglasses. “Have we met before too?”

“Don’t think so.” You admitted also, face scrunching in confusion. “I don’t meddle around with unpopular kids.”

“Hey, hey, I’m not unpopular.”

“Then why have I never heard of your name before?” You raised your brow.

“I don’t know, maybe you were too focused on being a cheerleader and me being a Digimon stan?” 

“Oh, so you’re a nerd!” You clapped your hands together. “That makes sense why I haven’t heard about you.”

He sighed. “You cheerleaders are cut throats, aren’t you?”

“I’m an ex–cheerleader now. Not really much of a cheerleader anymore.” You snickered. “Those pom pom waving mean girls, goodbye them!”

He plopped down next to you, stretching out his long legs. “So, what’s the plan now? Are you gonna go all lone wolf, or are you open to a new company?”

You raised an eyebrow at him. “Why do you care?”

Gojo shrugged, his smile widening. “Because I’m curious about the girl who went from queen bee to outcast in one day. That takes guts.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, though it came out a little bitter. “Or stupidity.”

“Or both, you know?” he agreed easily. “But I like guts. So does Shoko. And Suguru. And Kento and Haibara. You’d fit right in with us.”

“Fit in?” you echoed, not sure if he was being serious. Your face reminded Satoru of how Kento reacted to him asking to be his friend. 

“Yeah.” he said, leaning back on his hands, looking up at the sky. “We’re not exactly the most popular kids on campus, but we’re fun. And we don’t care about that petty stuff.”

Before you could respond, Shoko Ieiri appeared, hands stuffed in her lab coat pockets, a cigarette dangling from her lips. “You’re not bothering her, are you, Gojo?”

“Me? Bother someone? Never, Sho.” Gojo said, feigning innocence. “Just making a new friend.”

Shoko rolled her eyes and looked at you. “He’s right, though. You’re welcome to hang with us if you want.”

You hesitated, glancing between them. “I don’t know…”

“Don’t worry about it,” Shoko said with a lazy grin. “We don’t bite. Well, maybe Gojo does, but only if you ask nicely.”

You laughed again, this time more genuinely. “Okay… I guess I’ll give it a shot.”

As the days passed, you found yourself drifting away from the cheerleaders and into a new circle. It started subtly at first, with Gojo casually inviting you to sit with him and Shoko during lunch. Gojo’s easygoing nature made it hard to say no, and Shoko’s dry humor quickly drew you in. 

They didn’t seem to care about the drama that had turned your life upside down. Gojo’s bright grin and carefree attitude were a stark contrast to the cold shoulders you’d been getting from your former friends. Shoko, with her sharp wit and laid-back demeanor, offered a kind of friendship that felt refreshing, real in a way that the cheerleading squad never had.

Soon, Geto Suguru and Nanami Kento joined in. Suguru had a quiet confidence about him, a steady presence that was both comforting and intriguing. He didn’t ask about the fight or why you weren’t with the cheerleaders anymore. Instead, he offered a warm smile and an understanding nod, as if he knew without needing to be told.

Nanami, on the other hand, was more reserved. He didn’t speak much at first, but his presence was reassuring. There was a steadiness to him, a sense of reliability that you hadn’t realized you craved. He welcomed you into their group with a subtle nod, a small but genuine gesture that told you he saw you for who you were now, not who you had been before.

Each of them, in their own way, made room for you. They didn’t treat you like the fallen star or the girl with the tarnished reputation. With them, you didn’t have to pretend. You could be yourself—no masks, no expectations.And slowly, you began to feel something you hadn’t felt in a long time: belonging.

That afternoon, all of you were sitting together under a tree on campus, watching the world go by. Geto Suguru was in the middle of explaining something, his voice calm and soothing, while Nanami listened quietly, offering his thoughts every now and then. Yu was more excited trying to make friends with you than before. You think it's interesting, how this ball of sunshine saw you as some sort of superhero for what you did, even if you didn’t.

Yu Haibara, ever the sunshine in human form, plopped down beside you with a grin. “Hey, I heard about what happened with the cheer squad. Pretty badass, if you ask me.”

You smiled, feeling the warmth of genuine friendship for the first time in what felt like forever. “Thanks. I wasn’t sure if it was the right thing, but…”

“It was! You’re so cool, you know?” Haibara said firmly. “Standing up for someone who needed it? That’s always the right thing.”

“Besides, it’s just what it is, you know?” Geto added, looking over at you. He was smoking his cigarette roll, one he made himself. “You don’t have to be what you aren’t.”

“Yeah.” Nanami agreed, his voice steady and reassuring. “You don’t have to pretend to be something you’re not with us.”

You looked around at them—this group of people who had taken you in without hesitation, who saw you for who you really were, not just the image you had projected for so long. And for the first time in a while, you felt like you were exactly where you were meant to be.

As the weeks went by, you found a surprising sense of belonging with Gojo, Shoko, Suguru, Nanami, and Yu. They had become your new circle of friends, and their acceptance gave you a fresh start that you didn’t know you needed. They were a new sort of fun, a different kind of excitement that was worlds apart from the polished, high-pressure life you’d known as the it-girl.

With them, your days became filled with spontaneous adventures. Gojo was always dragging everyone to the arcade, where his competitive streak made every game feel like a high-stakes challenge. Shoko would roll her eyes at his antics but still join in, her laughter adding to the cacophony of beeping machines and cheerful music. Suguru, ever the cool-headed one, had a knack for choosing the perfect music stores to visit, introducing you to tracks that soon became the soundtrack to this new chapter of your life.

Nanami and Suguru were more reserved, especially at first. You could tell they were still feeling you out, trying to figure out if you really fit into their group. But even in their uncertainty, they made an effort. Nanami, despite his serious demeanor, would show up at the burger joints Gojo loved, quietly indulging in the greasy food and ridiculous banter. Suguru, with his calm presence, would often give you a slight smile or a nod, a small but significant sign that you were being welcomed, even if it was cautiously.

Yu was the glue that held it all together, his infectious energy and boundless enthusiasm pulling everyone along. Satoru was as enthusiastic as he was, but unlike him — Yu was someone that tried to keep everyone in good peace together. And he was good. He had a way of making you feel included, whether it was by handing you a spare controller at the arcade or making sure you got the best seat at the burger joint.

That’s just how it was with them. You didn’t have to worry about the petty dramas or the constant pressure to be perfect. With this group, it was all about the moment—the thrill of a high score, the taste of a greasy burger, the discovery of a new song. And you liked it. You liked who you were becoming with them.

Gojo leaned back in his chair, tossing a sugar packet from one hand to the other. “You know, you fit in with us better than you did with that cheer squad.”

You shot him a playful glare. “Are you saying I was too good for them?”

Shoko rolled her eyes. “Stop teasing, Gojo. You’re ruining the vibe.”

“Hey, I’m not!” Gojo argues as  his grin spreads, “Just that our new friend here is way cooler than they ever gave them credit for.”

You looked at Shoko, who was sipping her coffee with a look of amused tolerance, added, “He’s right. They were just too busy with their drama to see how awesome you are.”

Suguru, sitting across from you, offered a more thoughtful observation. He bit into his fries. “Sometimes, it takes getting knocked down to realize where you truly belong. You were always meant to be with people who appreciate you for who you are.”

Nanami, who had been quietly observing, nodded in agreement. “You’re a good blend with us, I think. We’ve had a lot of fun since you joined us.”

Yu Haibara, always the optimist, leaned in with a grin. “Yeah, and you’ve made things a lot more interesting around here. It’s not every day we get someone with your… spirit.”

You smiled, feeling a warm flush of gratitude. “Thanks, guys. I wasn’t sure where I’d fit in after everything that happened, but I really appreciate how welcoming you’ve all been.”

The conversation shifted to lighter topics, and you found yourself laughing more than you had in a long time. It was a refreshing change from the pressure and pretense of your previous life. 

As the night wore on, Gojo suddenly stood up and stretched. “Hey, who’s up for a late-night walk? I heard there’s a new food truck downtown.”

Shoko raised an eyebrow. “You just want an excuse to get more snacks.”

“Guilty as charged.” Gojo admitted with a wink. “But you’re all welcome to join if you’re up for it.”

“Sounds good to me.” Suguru said, standing up and grabbing his coat. 

You looked around at your friends, feeling a genuine sense of contentment. “I’m in.”

“You feeling cold?” Suguru asked as he saw you stand from the booth. 

“A little—” He threw you his jacket, which you were barely able to catch.

“Put it on.”

“O–oh, okay.”

As you all walked together through the city streets, the cool night air filled with laughter and conversation, you realized how different this life felt from the one you had left behind. There were no superficial judgments, no hidden agendas—just a group of people who valued each other’s company and had each other’s backs.

Later, as you shared food and stories under the streetlights, you found yourself in a moment of quiet reflection. You had come so far from the popular girl who had been kicked out of the cheer squad. You were no longer defined by your past status or the mistakes you’d made. Instead, you were part of a new chapter, one where you were valued for who you truly were.

Gojo’s laughter broke through your thoughts as he tossed a piece of popcorn into the air, catching it with a grin. “See? This is what life’s about—good friends, good food, and not taking things too seriously.”

You laughed, feeling the weight of the past lift off your shoulders. “I couldn’t agree more.”

In that moment, you knew that despite everything you had been through, you had found something real and genuine. And as you walked beside your new friends, you felt a renewed sense of hope for the future, knowing that wherever life took you next, you would face it with people who truly cared about you.

But in that moment, Geto Suguru looked at you and thought to himself for a moment, just for that moment — how good happiness looks on you.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🌌*ੈ𑁍༘⋆

IF HE WAS BEING HONEST, HE’S NOT ONE TO TRUST PEOPLE EASILY. But coming from a rough place in life, it was something that can’t be helped. So, in the beginning, Geto Suguru had his reservations about you. He’d heard the rumors about the cheerleader who had once been the queen of Jujutsu College, and he wasn’t impressed. To him, you seemed like just another snob who was used to getting their way and couldn’t be bothered with anyone outside her circle.

When Gojo tried to blend you into the group, Suguru’s attitude was guarded, and for a good reason. So, he kept his distance and even interacted with you, he tried to be casual, trying to not get too deep into it.

He remembers what he said then — “I’m not really into the whole ‘cheerleader’ thing,” he’d said with a shrug. “Not my style. So they're still not my style either.”

You had sensed his cold demeanor but tried not to let it bother you. Instead, you focused on being yourself—friendly, outgoing, and always ready to lend a hand. You wanted to prove that you weren’t just the image people had of you. Even though you could still be rough in the edges with your personality, it didn’t stop people from enjoying your company. 

And over time, Geto Suguru began to see a different side of you. You didn’t just laugh at his jokes or offer superficial compliments, nor were you as stuck up as people make you out to be; you were genuinely kind and considerate. You had a really good way of making others feel comfortable, and it wasn’t long before he found himself intrigued by the real you, the one who went out of their way to help others despite their own struggles.

One evening, as the group hung out at a quiet park, you were sitting on the grass, talking animatedly about a new project you were excited about. If he was being honest, excitement was a beautiful color on you. And he thinks that he wants to see more of that in you. He could only sigh as he thought about how much you’ve occupied his mind. He shakes his head. Suguru looks above the sky, trying to distract himself while Satoru spoke to everyone about his new date. 

“You know, Suguru.” you said, glancing over at him, snapping him back to reality. “I really appreciate how you’ve been around lately. And how not awkward it is between us now. It means a lot to me.”

Suguru raised an eyebrow. “I’m just here because Gojo dragged me along. Don’t get any ideas.”

You laughed, unfazed. “Yeah, yeah. But seriously, you’re not as bad as I thought you’d be. I guess we’re not so different after all.”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Maybe. But don’t get the wrong idea. I’m not here to make friends. I’m here because I have to be.”

Despite his words, you noticed subtle changes in his behavior. He was more engaged in conversations around you, his smiles more frequent, and he’d even started teasing you back. You found yourself drawn to him more and more, your feelings shifting from admiration to something deeper. The way he would look at you, even with his usual aloofness, made your heart race. 

After a particularly lively conversation about your favorite books, Suguru caught you off guard with a rare moment of vulnerability. He looked at you with an intensity that made your breath hitch. 

“You’re really persistent, you know that?” he said, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips. “I didn’t think I’d be saying this, but you’ve managed to get under my skin.”

You grinned, feeling a rush of hope. “Is that a good thing?”

Suguru looked away, his expression turning more serious. “I’m not sure. I told myself I’d just tolerate you, but… the more I hang around, the harder it is to keep my distance.”

He was fighting it, trying to convince himself that his growing feelings for you were nothing more than an annoyance. “I don’t know what you’re trying to do.” he continued, frustration evident in his voice. “But I’m not someone who easily changes his mind. So don’t expect too much.”

Despite his words, there was a softness in his eyes when he looked at you, a clear sign that he was fighting a losing battle. The more you interacted, the more he found himself charmed by your genuine warmth and infectious enthusiasm. And he didn’t know what to feel about that. He doesn’t know how to react to you.

You were infatuated with him, and it became clear that you wanted his attention—more than just casual conversation, more than friendly banter. You wanted to be the one who made him smile, the one he thought about when he was alone.

And though Suguru tried to keep his distance, you could see the cracks in his resolve. His stoic exterior was melting away, little by little, with every shared laugh, every meaningful conversation. He couldn’t deny the way he felt any longer, no matter how much he tried to convince himself otherwise.

In moments of quiet, when it was just the two of you, Geto Suguru’s demeanor softened. He would catch himself gazing at you with an expression that betrayed his irritation with his own feelings. He was torn between his desire to remain aloof and the undeniable pull he felt towards you. As you continued to be your bubbly, charming self, Suguru found himself drawn to you more and more, fighting a battle he wasn’t sure he wanted to win.

The house party was in full swing by the time you and your friends arrived. The sorority house was buzzing with energy, and the crowd was a mix of familiar faces and new ones. You were excited to be there, especially because you had a date with you—Mark, a guy you had been seeing for a few weeks. 

Suguru Geto, always the reserved observer, was there too, though he seemed more detached from the festivities. He had taken a spot near the snack table, his gaze scanning the room. When he noticed you with Mark, he gave a curt nod but didn’t say much.

As the night progressed, Suguru found himself cornered by Mark, who was chatting animatedly with a group of people. You had gone off to mingle with others, leaving Mark to his own devices. Suguru, being the stand-up guy he was, decided to introduce himself.

“Hey, I’m Suguru.” he said, offering a polite smile. “So, what’s your story, bro?”

Mark took a swig of his drink and grinned. “Oh, I’m just here to have a good time, mess around, party hard. You know how it is.”

Suguru nodded, trying to make conversation. “Yeah, I get it. So, how long have you and my friend been seeing each other?”

Mark’s smile faltered slightly. “A few weeks. But, honestly, they're kind of a handful.”

Suguru’s eyes narrowed slightly, but he kept his tone neutral. “Oh? How so?”

Mark shrugged, looking around to make sure no one else was listening. “They’re always so cheerful and in-your-face. It gets old pretty fast. And don’t get me started on their mood swings. Sometimes they’re all sunshine and other times, they’re just… exhausting.”

Suguru’s smile faltered, and he could feel a simmering anger rising. “I wouldn’t say that. They’re actually really kind and caring. Maybe they’re just passionate around you.”

Mark snorted. “Passionate? More like over–dramatic. You must be used to it, though, considering you hang out with them.”

Suguru’s jaw tightened. “I think you should stop talking about them like that.”

Mark raised an eyebrow, clearly enjoying the reaction he was getting. “Why? It’s the truth. You know, they could be a lot better if they just… toned it down a bit.”

Suguru’s eyes darkened as he took a deep breath. “Seriously, stop it.”

Mark continued, oblivious to Suguru’s mounting frustration. “They’re always making everything about themselves, always trying to be the center of attention. I don’t get why you’d even bother with them. They’re literally like….a bitch..”

Without warning, Suguru’s hand tightened around his beer bottle. He took a step forward, his voice low and dangerous. “I said, stop.”

The tension in the room was thick, a simmering undercurrent that everyone felt but no one acknowledged—until Mark pushed too far. He had been needling Suguru all night, his criticisms growing more pointed, more personal with each passing minute. The rest of you tried to steer the conversation away, but Mark wouldn’t let it go, his words becoming sharper, crueler.

Suguru had been holding back, his calm facade cracking only slightly as he tried to keep his temper in check. But when Mark ignored him and continued with his relentless criticisms, something inside Suguru snapped.

In an instant, he moved. With a swift, fluid motion, Suguru swung his beer bottle, the action so smooth it was almost graceful. The bottle connected with Mark’s face with a sharp crack. The impact was immediate and satisfying, sending Mark stumbling backward as beer splashed across the floor, the bottle shattering in Suguru’s hand.

The room fell into stunned silence.

“Goddamn it, Suguru!” Shoko’s voice was the first to break the quiet, a mix of shock and exasperation. She stepped forward, ready to pull Suguru back if needed, though there was a slight smirk playing at the corners of her mouth. “Couldn’t you have at least waited until he finished his drink?”

Nanami, who had been lounging in the corner, raised an eyebrow but didn’t move from his spot. “Well, that escalated quickly.”

Shoko sighed deeply, looking around. “I’ll call someone to clean this up. And maybe get some ice for Mark.”

Mark, clutching his face where Suguru had punched him, looked up in stunned disbelief. “What the hell, man? You’re crazy!”

Suguru’s eyes were cold as he glared down at him. “No. I’m done listening to your crap. You should’ve known when to shut up.”

“You all are a bunch of crazy freaks! Especially that bitch!”

“You don’t get to talk about them like that!” Suguru said, his voice steady but filled with a cold edge. “Not on my watch.”

Mark looked up at him, a mix of pain and surprise in his eyes. He didn’t say anything, just backed away slowly, still holding his nose. Yu came between them. “Hey, hey. Let’s all calm down, okay?”

Suguru turned on his heel and walked away, heading outside to cool down. He needed some fresh air and space to collect his thoughts. You, having witnessed the altercation from a distance, rushed over to Suguru, concern etched on your face.

You spotted Suguru standing alone in the hallway, his gaze distant as he tried to calm down from the confrontation. Determined to get some answers, you made a beeline for him, your concern and curiosity palpable.

“Suguru, what happened back there?” you asked, trying to piece together the events of the night. “Why did you hit Mark?”

Suguru glanced at you, his expression a mix of embarrassment and frustration. “It was nothing. He just… he crossed a line.”

“No,” you said, putting the pieces together with a sudden burst of realization. “He called me a bitch, didn’t he? That’s why you hit him. You hit him for me!”

Suguru looked away, his cheeks tinged with a hint of pink. “No, that’s not—”

“Yes, it is!” you interrupted, your excitement and relief bubbling over. “I know I can be a lot sometimes, and I am a bitch! But you actually care about me. You love me, don’t you?”

Suguru’s face turned a deeper shade of red, and he mumbled, “No…I didn’t…”

Suguru’s thoughts were still a whirlwind, his mind racing to process the events of the night and the emotions that came with them. He needed to clear his head, and talking to Gojo seemed like the quickest way to do that. He excused himself and quickly went back inside. As he entered the kitchen, the room was a stark contrast to the chaos outside—bright, warm, and filled with the comforting aroma of Gojo Satoru’s sandwich-making.

Gojo stood by the counter, casually assembling a towering sandwich with practiced ease. His movements were relaxed and carefree, a stark contrast to the tension that Suguru was radiating. He glanced up, taking in the scene with a curious, slightly amused expression.

“What’s going on, man?” Gojo asked, his tone light as he continued to layer on the ingredients. “I heard there was a bit of a commotion.”

Suguru tried to compose himself, but the frustration was evident in his voice. “Mark was being a complete jerk. He was bad-mouthing them, and I… I lost my temper.”

Gojo raised an eyebrow, his interest piqued. “He was talking about them? What did he say?”

Suguru’s jaw clenched as he recounted the encounter. “He kept going on about how they are a handful and how they’re exhausting. He was just being really disrespectful. Even called them a bitch, mind you!”

Gojo’s eyebrows knitted together in surprise. “And you punched him for it?”

Suguru nodded, his gaze intense. “Yeah, I did. He wouldn’t stop, and I just couldn’t let him keep talking like that.”

Gojo’s expression shifted from amusement to genuine concern. “Are they okay?”

Suguru’s frustration softened a bit as he considered your well-being. “They’re fine. I mean, they did seem surprised, maybe in some way upset, I don’t know. But they’re okay. It’s just… I don’t like seeing them being talked about like that.”

Gojo’s eyes sparkled with a mix of mischief and understanding. “So, you’re defending them, huh?”

Suguru’s face flushed slightly, and he rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s not just about defending them. It’s just—”

Gojo looked up from his sandwich-making with a raised eyebrow. “Yeah, but is your lover okay?”

Suguru froze, caught off guard. “They are not my lover, Gojo.” he snapped, defensively. “They are just—”

Gojo’s eyes sparkled with mischief. “Oh? Then why’d you hit him? Seems like you’re more concerned than you’re letting on.”

Suguru glared at Gojo. “I’m not concerned, I just—”

“Uh–uhuh, keep talking.”

“I’m just some friend—acquaintance. Worried.” Suguru narrowed his eyes. “Seriously, Satoru. I don’t know what you’re going on about. If I'm in love with them, shoot me.”

Without missing a beat, Gojo grinned, “Bang.” He made a playful gun gesture with his hand and gave Suguru a wide grin. “Cupid’s bullets confirm!”

Suguru stared at him, dumbfounded. “Are you serious? This is not—”

Gojo laughed, clearly enjoying the confusion. “Just kidding, Suguru. You know I’m just messing with you.”

Suguru sighed heavily, his frustration giving way to a reluctant chuckle. “You’re impossible, you know that?”

Gojo shrugged, still grinning. “Just having a bit of fun. But seriously, if you need to talk or if something’s going on, I’m here. Just don’t let things like this get you too worked up.”

Suguru nodded, a mix of relief and embarrassment on his face. “Thanks, Gojo. I guess I needed that.”

With a final, reassuring pat on Suguru’s shoulder, Gojo returned to his sandwich-making. He took a deep breath and went back outside. You were talking with Shoko when you noticed Suguru come back outside towards your way. You were about to speak when Suguru turned back to you. There was a softer, more earnest look in his eyes as he met your gaze.

He looked at you with a determination, his voice steady but kind. “Take your coat, doll.” he said, offering it to you. “We’re getting out of here.”

You raised an eyebrow, surprised by his sudden decision but relieved by the prospect of escaping the party. Without protest, you slipped on your coat and followed him out into the cool night air. The contrast between the cold outside and the warmth of the party was a welcome change, the crisp air a refreshing balm against your senses.

As you walked to the parking lot, Suguru’s silence was a comforting presence. His demeanor was calm and purposeful, a stark contrast to the turbulence of the evening. He led you to his car, and you both got in, the engine’s hum a soothing sound against the backdrop of the night.

Soon enough, you found yourselves parked in the lot of a nearby fast-food chain. The neon lights of the restaurant flickered against the dark sky, casting an almost surreal glow over the scene. It felt like a world away from the party, a simple, unpretentious refuge.

Suguru ordered a handful of burgers and fries, his movements deliberate and focused. You followed suit, choosing your favorites with a sense of familiarity. As you both settled on the hood of the car, the comfort of the fast food and the tranquility of the night began to ease the tension.

You took a bite of your burger, the flavors surprisingly comforting. Despite the simplicity of the setting, there was something deeply satisfying about the moment. “This is the best date ever.” you said with a grin, the warmth of the food and Suguru’s presence making the night feel a little brighter.

Suguru looked at you, a bemused expression on his face. “We haven’t talked in half an hour.”

“That doesn’t matter,” you said, shaking your head. “It’s nice just being with you, even if this doesn’t seem like much.”

Suguru looked away, a soft smile tugging at his lips. “It’s not as bad as going bowling.”

You blinked, puzzled. “Bowling? I didn’t know you liked bowling.”

He shrugged, leaning back against the car. “I do. It’s something I enjoy, and being with you is kind of like that—enjoyable and relaxing, even if it’s not always fancy.”

You tilted your head, contemplating his words. Then, feeling bold, you leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. Suguru’s eyes widened slightly, but he responded, kissing you back with a tenderness that melted away any remaining tension.

When you finally parted, you looked up at him, a soft smile on your lips. “Not too bad?”

Suguru’s gaze softened as he met your eyes, a genuine smile spreading across his face. “Not too bad.” he agreed, his voice warm.

You both shared a comfortable silence, the world outside the fast-food restaurant feeling a million miles away. As you finished your burgers and settled back into a peaceful quiet, you knew that despite everything, moments like these were what mattered most.

You and Suguru remained on the car hood, finishing off the last of your burgers. The night was crisp and clear, the occasional hum of passing cars providing a steady backdrop to your conversation.

“So, what’s your favorite part about bowling?” you asked, genuinely curious and trying to keep the mood light.

Suguru chuckled, a soft sound that warmed the chilly air. “It’s the combination of skill and luck, I guess. Plus, it’s fun to just throw the ball and watch it knock down the pins. It’s simple, but satisfying.”

You smiled, enjoying his enthusiasm. “Maybe we should go bowling sometime. It sounds like it could be a lot of fun.”

Suguru’s eyes twinkled as he looked at you. “I’d like that. I think you’d be pretty good at it. You’ve got a good arm from throwing those frisbees around at the park.”

You laughed, leaning into him. “You think so? I’ll hold you to that.”

Suguru wrapped an arm around you, pulling you closer. “It’s a promise.”

The warmth of his embrace was comforting, and you snuggled closer, resting your head on his shoulder. The night was quiet, and for a while, you just enjoyed the peacefulness of the moment.

Suguru glanced at you, his expression softening even further. “You know, despite everything that happened tonight, I’m really glad we ended up here. I like these moments with you. They remind me of why I care so much.”

You tilted your head up to look at him, your eyes reflecting the soft glow of the streetlights. “Me too, Suguru. It’s the simple things, like eating burgers and talking about bowling, that make me realize how much I enjoy being with you.”

Suguru gave a small, affectionate smile, his fingers gently brushing against your cheek. “Sometimes, it’s the simple things that mean the most.”

You sighed contentedly, feeling a deep sense of connection. “I guess that’s true. And, even though tonight didn’t go as planned, it ended up being pretty perfect in its own way.��

Suguru chuckled softly, his gaze fixed on you. “Yeah, it did.”

You both sat there for a while longer, sharing soft kisses and quiet laughter, savoring the simplicity of the moment. The night air was cool, but the warmth between you made it feel like the coziest place in the world.

Eventually, Suguru shifted slightly, pulling you closer as he gave you a tender kiss on the forehead. “Let’s head back. I think we’ve had enough excitement for one night.”

You nodded, standing up and stretching as Suguru helped you off the car hood. “Sounds good. But we definitely need to plan that bowling trip soon.”

Suguru laughed, offering you his hand. “It’s a date.”

As you walked back to the car, hand in hand, the night seemed a little brighter, and the world a little warmer. The small, spontaneous moments were what made your time together truly special, and you both knew that, no matter what, you’d always find a way to cherish them.

[lilacstro]

Astro observation pt 6

well, here it is, as I got the results from the poll. hope you enjoy :))

1.People with 8th/12th house stellium often have some kind of thing of hiding. If you have Moon in 8th house too, its like, hiding but wanting to be seen at the same time. You may see these people have a social media, delete it, then probably see them posting a lot and suddenly they are gone. Its conflicting in some sense.

2. Continuing on 8th/12th house moons, apart from the cliche they dont trust people, these kinds of people have a desire to connect on a soul level to people they like, but something holds them down, I would like to guess most likely past experiences or own solid opinions on how it is or very huge inner conflict. It is very touching to them if you actually understand such people. Giving me vibes of Sia's song lyrics

"Break down, only alone I will cry out loud You'll never see what's hiding out Hiding out deep down Yeah, yeah I know, I've heard that to let your feelings show It's the only way to make friendships grow But I'm too afraid now Yeah, yeah"

I would like to add this for scorpio/capricorn/leo moons

3. Your moon sign can show how you like to relax and unwind. Infact if you are unsure on how to lift your spirits up when you are down, go to your moon sign, it works quite well imo. Example, Gemini moons may like to have a talk with friends, someone/something who can make them laugh, Leo moons may like getting a full glam time or watching some kind of entertainment, Libra moons may like doing some self care shopping/routine, retail therapy or just thinking and admiring their fav people lol or seeing pretty things scrolling pintrest

4. people with Saturn in 10th house, Saturn in Capricorn, Saturn at capricorn degrees have some kind of unbelievable drive and will for what they want. Gives me "Unstoppable" vibes.

5.I read this somewhere but I cant exactly remember where. If someone's Jupiter sign matches your moon signs or vice versa, you both have the ability to lift each others spirits. It holds 200% for me and my sister. She is libra moon and I am libra jupiter.

6. People with Saturn conjunct Jupiter/harmonious aspects often dream the big, the unachievable and are actually ready to lay the plan out and work. Somehow, they should even find the luck they need to support what they need. I would even say, if they find some kind of redirection or change in their "big plans", its often for the good.

7. As cliché as it may sound, people with major Scorpio placements/scorpio stellium have something on with black going on. Either they like black clothes, using black and white filters on their pictures often, liking nighttime, some romanticizing of melancholy through poems or sad songs, or looking good in black somehow.

8. I would say, the 12th house in someones chart can reveal a lot. Someone can lie, their birth chart cannot. The planets in 12th house or sign or the degree your 12th house can show what are your unguarded deepest thoughts. 12th house scorpios (Sag risings) can carry trauma/ resentment for the past, 12th house Venus may like to fantasize about future lovers or happy times, 12th house at Leo degrees can show you are very creative and loud at creating scenarios in your head or thinking.

9. people with moon in 9th house might pursue higher education of what they actually wanted to do since childhood. Could also be there was some influence of childhood that leads to the choice of further education. This placement also makes me think that you are studying what you actually want and connect to and most likely wont despise it.

10. I think, i read someone saying the 8th sign from your Venus placement can show what actually ends your relationship. For example 8th sign for someone with Venus in Sag would be Cancer. So making decisions when you are extremely high on emotions, the thoughts or warnings of breakups or withdrawal and not really opening up or caring about someone to a fault can ruin your relationships. I checked this for a few people and think this is actually very accurate for some reasons. If you want I can make a post on this one.

11. Mars in a women's chart can show what "bad boyfriend" she may fall for or thinks about. Mars in Taurus, someone who has money/luxury, Mars in Sagittarius? Someone who is free and adventurous and reckless kind of, Mars in Aries? Someone who is high on thrills and adventures and passion. Consider the house Mars is in for more info.

12.I again have another theory. I kind of believe that though Part of Fortune can show where you are lucky and things like that, the house /sign it may be in can show what is kind of fated in your life. In 9th house it can be your higher education, in 11th house it could be the people you meet, in 4th house could be the family you were born into. I can make another post again if y'all like.

13.Saturn conjunct moon is kind of a hard placement imo. It can again have several meanings, some of them being, having to raise your parents, your childhood was restrictive and did not allow you to show your emotions fully or an emotionally unavailable non-understanding mom. If this placement falls into your 8th/12th/4th house, it can show you carry some kind of trauma from both your parents.

14. Eros in someone's chart can show what they get turned on by. Eros in 1st house could mean you find looks very attractive at first sight HOWEVER it could be, that people find you super sexy at first sight too. Applies to other houses too.

15. People with Uranus in 3rd could change multiple schools when young. Could also be early education was very unstable and unpredictable due to multiple reasons. Maybe unavailable parents, finance issues etc.

support me on ko-fi :)

leave post suggestions and feedbacks if you like<33 if there is something you would like to add, please do it in comments/asks/reblogs. I love you all

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Hearts [S. R] part 2

Spencer Reid x fem!reader

word count: 3.9k

part 1!

summary: morning coffees become the special moments between you and Spencer, but you also discover that he may have more competition for his love than you expected.

N/A: I never thought this would be so well received and I honestly feel so happy! I am very grateful to all the people who requested a second part, I hope you like it and if you want to tell me something in the comments I will read it with pleasure!

people who might be interested: @c-m-stuff @no-soy-fer @synthsescape @bella-fics @cynbx

That morning Spencer came to his desk with coffee in hand and set it carefully to one side, the sight of his scrawled name looming large throughout.

Spencer <3

What did that mean? It was his name, that's obvious, but it was written with such a careful and clean line that it was very beautiful to admire and the heart drawn next to it was what didn’t quite add up in the whole thing. Reid knew that it was an ideogram used to express the idea of affection or love, so the most logical conclusion was that you were trying to communicate a feeling of that kind, but then he wondered: was it affection between friends? a simple show of affection, he supposed. Nothing further, surely it could not be anything else.

There were days when you and he barely saw each other, as the team had to go out to handle cases in the field and you stayed behind to do literally whatever you could do to complete your service hours, but every morning without fail you looked for him to deliver the long-awaited coffee. You were keeping your promise and for three days you arrived with two cups on the tray, one clean and the other labeled for him: Reid, Spence, Doctor R., all titles followed by a drawing of a heart. When Friday rolled around and you handed him what he thought would be his last cup, you decided to propose a deal.

"Today I was thinking that I could buy your coffee permanently, if you want” you exclaimed kindly, while you watched him from the chair that you had pulled to sit next to him. Some mornings when there wasn’t so much movement you would stay there to drink a few shots of your coffee and share a small moment of the day "It's on my way here and it's obvious that you like it"

“Oh, I… I couldn't even think about it, no. I would take too much advantage of you"

“You're going to pay me back, Reid. I'll just bring it” you laughed, watching him turn red to the ears while he drank a little to try to mask it.

"Then, I'd love to," he exclaimed with a tight-lipped smile. He was a little excited to continue having excuses to talk to you every day and, above all, to drink the delicious coffee that he had already gotten used to.

"Although I'm running out of ideas, to be honest," you said amused, because that day the cup didn’t have any inscription due to that lack of creativity. But as by the work of fate, an idea came to your mind, so you smiled from ear to ear while you took a black marker from your friend's desk and took the cup from his hand. Spencer looked at you carefully and curiously while you were writing and just when you finished Hotch called you from the other side of the tables "I have to go, don't miss me too much" you murmured, handing him the glass and then winking at the boy, who in response only awkwardly raised his hand.

Once you left, he looked at what you had written, less neatly than the other times, and felt himself grinning like a fool:

My fav agent and again that damn heart.

“Y/N”

"Yeah?" you asked, looking up at another of your fellow interns. You had a room where everyone could stay for a while to work on their own business, but on this occasion, curiously, only women had gathered at the table, there were about five of you in the entire building. Among them Jennifer, a girl you liked very much and with whom you could presume to have something like a friendship, and for some strange reason there was also Victoria.

"Can I ask you a personal question?"

"Huh… yeah, I guess" you muttered a bit confused, and even though you didn't know the girl she smiled in your direction.

“Is that brown-haired guy you talk to every morning your boyfriend?”

“Spencer?” you asked, widening your eyes at the surprise with which the question had taken you. You expected her to ask what band you listened to the most, your favorite food, or some other stupid thing, but not that. Now all the girls' attention was on you, including Victoria's inquisitive scowl and Jennifer's amused look “I wouldn't say that” 

"And do you think you can introduce me?" she said with more enthusiasm than she intended, and they all laughed collectively.

“I get second in line”

"Girls, girls..." Jennifer intervened and you knew that from that moment the topics of the internship would take a back seat “He may not be her boyfriend now, but that doesn't mean she doesn't want him to be”

"Jenn!"

"Am I lying?" she sneered “You smile every time you see him and you two look so in love whispering to each other every morning. Also, a week ago I saw you go out together at night”

"Jenn," you insisted, muttering to her in the hope that she would notice that you wanted her to shut up. It wasn't that you were ashamed of being associated with him, you just didn't want to spread wrong rumors that might embarrass him.

“How come he's already an agent? He looks very young”

“It's because he's a prodigy, duh. He’s as attractive as he’s intelligent”

"I imagine that being such a smart man he knows perfectly the weak points of a woman" another girl murmured, joining the conversation "If you know what I mean"

“For now we are just friends. That's all" you said trying to end the conversation, completely embarrassed that such a personal matter had ended up as the talk of all the female interns of the FBI. It was supposed to be a serious job and you guys looked like gossipy high school girls.

"Maybe he's waiting for someone better," Victoria said into the air, a venomous tone permeating every word.

"Anyway, if you give up, can you get me his number?" insisted the first girl. You nodded just so as not to break his illusion, but you knew very well that Spencer didn't use a phone beyond what was necessary for work.

Even though you yourself had told him that surely many girls liked him, you didn't expect that he really had admirers so close and to be honest a pang of jealousy invaded you. Victoria was the most obvious of them all, but you knew that being college girls they were more likely to admire the masculine charm of perhaps the youngest member of the FBI. They too were young and beautiful, but you chose to trust that you had the upper hand in winning the man's affections.

You tried as hard as you could to concentrate on your tasks, but now that his name had come up it was hard to think of anything but him. Spencer wasn't a very expressive guy, but you knew that he was comfortable with you or else he wouldn't seek you out or agree to talk to you like you did, although clearly that didn't ensure that he was attracted to you. Maybe he just saw you as a good friend.

At night, when you were about to go home, you tried to look for him so you could see him again with the excuse of saying goodbye, but you were surprised when you saw that he was talking to Victoria in an already empty section. Curiosity to know what they were talking about invaded you and you stood where you were, squinting your eyes to try to read their lips. Reid wasn't participating too much in the chat, you'd even say he looked awkward, but she was shamelessly flirting with him. Perhaps the sudden change in attitude that she had had was what your friend had missed so much and just when you thought of approaching to go save him from the situation, she stood on her toes and crashed her lips against his, leaving you standing just in your place and completely in shock.

You didn't expect her to dare to do something like that, but the reaction he had left you even more surprised, because, although it wasn't so favorable, he didn't seem bothered by the show of affection he had just received either. He just stood in front of her, looking her up and down as if he were analyzing her.

You didn't want to stay there any longer and almost instantly you turned around to walk out the front door, hoping that this had meant absolutely nothing to him and the next day you could look him in the face without feeling the jealousy boiling in your veins.

It was almost time for dismissal when Spencer remembered that he had a file to go through that he'd ignored all morning, and he cursed himself a little for leaving things until the last minute. His coworkers told him that he could finish it the next morning, but he knew that if he did that he probably wouldn't have time to drink coffee with you so he preferred to stay a little later there.

Little by little the offices emptied and when there was almost no one left, he finally finished, feeling the discomfort of the recurring pain in his back due to the bad position in which he sat. He put his things away, put on his coat, and slung his briefcase over his shoulder, ready to go back to his apartment, but a person got in the way when he was about to cross the hall. Due to exhaustion and seeing that it was a female body he assumed it would be you, but when he paid more attention, he noticed that it wasn’t even remotely possible that the ironed black hair was yours.

"Doctor Reid"

"Miss Evans" he greeted her, without losing cordiality, but not with too much emotion either.

"What are you doing here so night?"

"Job. There's nothing else to do around here at this hour,” he said without looking at her. But the girl was determined to get that one-night stand that she was sure you had, lie as it was.

“It's a shame, but I know a bar near here that you might like if you want to have a little fun”

“Bars are noisy and are one of the biggest sources of infection that can exist. Sweat, alcohol, and unknown fluids permeate the environment and it is very probable that the consumption of drugs affects not only those who consume them but also those who are close to them, so I prefer to decline your invitation" he exclaimed, hoping that this explanation would be enough to make it clear to this woman that he wasn't interested.

“So you're more of hanging out in the apartment? I have a lot of great things in mine, including a jacuzzi."

“Jacuzzies are unsanitary” he insisted. If he proposed, he would know that he would find a valid excuse for whatever plan she might suggest.

"What a killjoy, Agent Reid” she giggled, but he wasn't too amused by any of it. "Do you ever have fun?"

"I think my concept of fun and yours diverge a lot" he murmured, still not looking at her directly and ready to end the conversation.

Spencer was about to leave when she raised herself to his height and in a quick movement that caught him off guard, she smashed her lips against his. As she turned away from her the man froze completely in his place, looking at her from head to toe as if she were some strange natural specimen.

"What if I promise there will be more of that?" she asked, in a last-ditch attempt, faking a honeyed voice. He was going to respond when there was something that forced him to look in the direction of the exit door, where someone else was already walking. From the pattern of colored stripes on the jacket he knew it was definitely you and if it was you then you probably witnessed the entire exchange. He felt the urge to run after you to justify himself for something he hadn't even done, not knowing why he was embarrassed or worried that you'd seen that. “Come on, are you really going to say no to all this?”

"Listen to me, Victoria. I understand if having power over others gives you pleasure because you are the least noticed and recognized member of the family, or if you enjoy saying hurtful things to people to feed your own insecurities, but I ask that you please stay away from me and stop trying whatever you're trying. I don't like you, you're a bad person and I won't allow you to kiss me without my wanting it, or to make your sexual advances that won't get you anywhere. So again, I say don't bother me again” he said and without waiting for any answer he walked out of sight of her. Even if he had stayed, Victoria had her ego so hurt that she didn't think of anything to say back and instead she just let helpless tears fill her eyes, followed by a gesture of a tantrum.

When Spencer came downstairs he couldn't find you anywhere and the anxiety in his stomach only increased, wishing he had misrecognized the person who had left so it wasn't about you. The matter didn't keep him awake, of course, but when he noticed the next morning that you weren't at his desk, he thought it was reason enough to worry. Worse still when he noticed that you had left a lonely cup on the table, with absolutely no adorable titles decorating it. It made him feel so guilty, like he somehow knew that you were upset because you'd seen Victoria kiss him the night before and he wasn't worthy of your affection anymore.

Even Hotch noticed that he was more distracted than usual and although he had already seen your exchanges, he thought it would be better not to intervene in anything that had to do with young love. Being a cupid was a more difficult task than the one he already fulfilled at the BAU. So when night came and he didn't look at you anywhere, anxiety was already eating him to the ground, wishing he could have your phone number to at least comfort himself with hearing your voice. Going to your apartment was something he considered, but then it became unthinkable because he didn't even know how you would react.

Victoria became less of a concern as she seemed to get the message perfectly and every time during the day that he crossed her path she just looked away, totally offended.

But when the same situation arose twice, he felt that something was wrong and he wasn't going to endure a third time. It was then that Spencer left the house early that morning to stop by a bakery and buy a couple of fresh sweet buns, hoping that this time you were expecting him. But his disappointment was greater when he saw that once again there was only the bare cup of coffee.

"Didn't you see Y/N?" he asked Elle when he arrived, nervously fiddling with the paper bag he was holding in his hands.

“No, she just left your coffee and left, but I don't know where. She seemed pretty rushed”

Spencer inwardly cursed and sighed in frustration, until a few seconds later he caught sight of you on the other side of the building, carrying a stack of folders and talking on the phone. He didn't hesitate for a moment before running (at first, then he slowed down a bit as he remembered the incessant times Hotch had scolded him for it) towards you so he could finally talk to you.

“Y/N,” he said softly as he reached your side, and he took the bright smile you gave him as you turned to look at him as a good sign.

"Wait a minute" you mouthed, still answering the call you had on the line, and when you hung up you finally turned your attention to him "Hey, Reid. Good morning"

"I bought you this" he murmured, showing you the bag with food inside, and you almost moaned with happiness.

“Food is what I need most to survive the day”

"What are you doing?"

“Two days ago, your boss Gideon thought it was a good idea to make me his personal secretary. So right now, I'll do everything he asks me to do” you snorted, obviously exhausted by the work you had done and by the ones you surely would have to do.

It clicked in the boy's mind and then he understood that this was the reason you hadn't seen it, not because you were angry. Relief ran down the length of his spine.

"Really?"

“I don't even think that's legal, you know? I'm an intern, they don't pay me a penny and they take advantage of me like I earn the same as the fucking president” you complained. Until then he noticed that you were struggling to hold the papers and he decided to stretch out his hands to help you carry them, like a real gentleman "Thank you"

“Where should you take them? I'll accompany you” he offered. You led him through the halls to a file store that even he doubted he knew about, and explained that your job for the next several weeks would be to sort and categorize the case files for a more efficient process of future searches.

“I'm seriously thinking about giving this whole damn thing up and selling hotdogs in some park or whatever. I would be happier and I would earn almost the same” you joked, raising your arms to stretch your back a bit like a cat that had just woken up. The place was completely alone, silent and the lighting was so dim that it even looked gloomy “Did you get my coffees?"

"Yes, I did," he muttered, "I thought you were mad at me though”

"Why?"

"Because..." he hesitated for a moment if it would be wise to mention what he thought was the reason for your anger, until he realized that saying it out loud would simply sound absurd. There shouldn't be a reaction on your part to the facts “you weren't there. And you didn't write anything”

"Oh, I was in a hurry. I'm sorry,” you sincerely apologized. While you were talking to him you thought that you could start to categorize the documents that you would have just brought and you got to it, hoping that he wouldn't interpret that as a sign that you wanted him to leave; luckily Spencer rushed to your side to help you as soon as he could.

"Alright. I'm glad to know you're not upset."

"If I had known that you loved my notes so much, it would have taken me a few seconds" you smiled and when you turned your head you noticed that you were too close to him, or he to you, rather.

You were silent for a few moments until he couldn't take it anymore. He needed to know your opinion about what you had or hadn't seen that night.

"Victoria looked me up the other day," he said disinterestedly. You smiled victoriously for not having to be the first to mention it, even though the matter was slowly burning inside you.

“Oh, I know. I looked at you talking to her” you exclaimed bitterly, without taking your eyes off the files.

"And she too... huh..."

"Calm down" you interrupted him, taking a bunch that were already ordered and moving away from him to take them to a filing cabinet "I saw that too"

“It was so strange”

"It was pathetic," you said without any embarrassment. You finally looked up and noticed some fear in him, as if he thought you meant that he was pathetic "It wasn't even a good kiss"

"And what would one be like?" he replied without thinking. You stifled a laugh and looked at him kindly.

“That's not something I can explain to you, Reid. I would have to show you"

“Well…” he said, finally breaking away from your gaze and staring at you with those big beautiful hazel eyes.

You were surprised that he wasn't averse to it because you honestly didn't expect to achieve anything with that sentence, you just wanted to tease him a bit. Spencer kept looking at you in silence for a few seconds and you knew what that look meant, or at least you thought you did. Those pleading eyes only screamed one thing: show me. Kiss me.

You walked enough steps to close the distance and stand right in front of him, looking down at him with a smile of pure mischief.

“Well, what?"

“Nothing, nothing, I just… I thought you could enlighten me a bit on the subject. As unbelievable as it may seem, I am very uninformed about the standard of what is considered a good or bad kiss” he admitted. Even flirting he sounded like a walking book.

You weren't going to give him time to regret it so you took him by the lapels of his formal shirt and with a yank you pulled him to you. Spencer's breath caught at how sudden the contact had been, and you heard him release the trapped air over your lips, giving you the chance to deepen the kiss. At first he was tense, but after a few seconds you felt his shoulders relax considerably and that's when you slid your hands down the length of his neck until you reached to hold his cheeks. One of your hands left that position only to guide the man's hands to your waist and once you were in this way you took the opportunity to push your body against his a little more, with your torso attached to his. There was no mention of how the tip of your tongue experimentally flicked across his lips and made him sigh audibly.

Spencer nearly whimpered as the heat from your body left his.

“We just shared approximately 80 million bacteria” you blurted out, but he was too flushed and shocked to corroborate denying the information. Just to play with him you decided to give him another kiss, shorter and louder than the previous one "And you just had a good kiss"

You didn't wait for any reaction before separating completely and that made him come out of the trance he was in, still not believing what had just happened. He couldn't even say anything before your phone started ringing with a call.

"I'll see you later?"

"It's up to you," you said with a smile. Spencer nodded and not knowing what else to do he decided to walk out before he could embarrass himself "Oh, and Spence…”

"Yeah?" he answered, trying not to let you notice how it affected him that you called him that way.

“Do you remember the other day when I told you that surely hundreds of girls liked you?” you asked and when he nodded a couple of hairs got messy "Although I'm sure it's true, on that occasion I was only talking about me" you confessed. You couldn't ignore the ringing sound any longer or you'd lose it, so you picked up the hook and started a business conversation, but not before winking at him as a farewell.

Spencer came out of it trying to look as normal as possible, but he still couldn't figure out how he'd have the strength to work objectively for the rest of the day when he'd just gotten such a good kiss from the prettiest girl he'd ever met.

[eye-f0r-an-eye]

lewis hamilton x male reader [nsfw]

SO I FINALLY FUCKING FINISHED IT FUCK ME DEAD BRO

i'm so sorry it took so long, i struggle with motivation... i'm now just sick of looking at this, i'm fucking done with it man dfyhwesvyhewjcdb

word count: 3.4k

cw: nsfw, swearing, sub!lewis, dom!reader, male!reader, anal sex, soft vanilla sex i guess, regular ol' missionary, author can't title shit for shit, author also got a little lazy at the end, author ALSO got lazy with writing prep so he just didn't but oh well- but it's actually kinda sweet though??????

anyway, i hope you enjoy the fruits of my labour ;-;

(i'm also not the kinda guy who's like "fem aligned dni", simply cause i don't care. just enjoy it, whoever you are <3)

lewis hamilton. 

a man who could have any woman he wanted using his sheer status alone. a man who could seize the heart of any entranced fan with nothing more than a simple smile. a man who could make any admirer fantasise at night after dropping a subtly suggestive comment during an interview. 

not the kind of man who you’d expect to show up at your hotel room in the dead of the night with a condom, lube, and a half-baked idea.

“fuck me.” 

there'd never been a queer man on the grid before – not openly at least – and not since mike beuttler, who’d just disappeared to the list of forgotten drivers. you, on the other hand, appeared to have turned out quite the opposite. you had seemed to be the media’s hottest topic as of late. 

you weren’t lost to the obituaries. 

after you had come out, you weren’t disregarded nor overlooked. Instead, it seemed as though the entire world’s eyes were on you. you weren’t just another driver anymore; you were like a unicorn hailing from the garden of eden, and a very influential one at that. all the cameras had transitioned to your direction, and you had become all the rage as a rare representer of the queer community in motorsports. every single reporter wanted to know the finer details of your life, and this was no exception for the drivers as well. 

in particular, lewis hamilton. 

the man had been ever so curious since the day he saw you in the paddock, but not the innocent kind of curious. he couldn’t figure out why he was having such thoughts as you were a man. sure, he could admit when a guy was good-looking, but he’s never felt sexually drawn to another male before, not genuinely. maybe it was your intense driving style that he found so hot and raw, or the way you carried yourself when speaking to fellow drivers that really tickled his britches. or maybe it was simply the knowledge that you indeed liked men that gave him the confidence to accept that his thoughts were valid. 

either way, he was attracted, and he didn’t quite know why you twisted his ideals. but he did know that he wanted to find out, he wanted to get closer to you. he felt as though he had to – needed to. and as your friendship strengthened, he soon discovered that he wanted to get closer to you in a much different sense to how he originally thought. in a sense that he felt was dastardly wrong, in a sense that made him question if it was even women he really desired in the first place. 

and who were you to turn him down? it’s lewis fucking hamilton. 

as soon as you were greeted by those great big bambi eyes and that shameless request, you pulled him into your dimly lit hotel room and kicked the door closed without so much as a second thought. 

you had made out wildly and were stripped of all clothing items within mere moments, far too fast for either of you get your heads wrapped around the situation. you couldn’t care less if he didn’t have any feelings for you that were beyond carnal, it was impossible when his strong inked figure was spread out underneath you – all bare, prepped, and gorgeous – reduced to submissiveness, like a sacrificial lamb waiting to be devoured. and it was even hotter to know that he came to your door and asked for this whilst completely in his right mind. 

lewis' back was pressed to the mattress and his cock lay hard against his flat abs, and it dribbled bead after bead of precum that glistened with the faint moonlight creeping through the curtains. he felt you guide your length between his legs, the hot weight of it knocking against thigh was enough to have his mind turned to mush. 

“wait” lewis clutched your wrist, which currently gripped the base of your erect cock to line yourself up with lewis’ entrance. your heart dropped for a moment, and you quickly stopped your doings to ensure lewis’ comfort. your gaze snapped up to meet his dark chocolate eyes, searching for any sign of discontent. but you saw none. 

“yes?” your voice came out as a faint whisper as you held a thoughtful gaze. you slipped out of the grip from the familiarly foreign hand and your fingers instead travelled up the mingle of naked bodies, resting on lewis’ burning cheek. 

lewis didn’t want you to think that he’d changed his mind about wanting to experiment and embarrass you beyond reason – you've already got enough going on – and he didn’t want to deny your eager, aching cock any relief. besides, it wasn’t in his place to back out. after all, he was the one who had arrived at your hotel room unannounced, forcing you to put your late-night activities on hold in order to please him. so he simply smiled softly. 

“just... be gentle...” lewis’ voice was equally as quiet as yours, enough to make you shudder in its wake. “i’ve never done this before – lay with another man, that is...” 

you nod in response and lewis’ hand encased your hand, the one on his cheek, with his own and came in for a hot and tender kiss – for reassurance. your eyes flutter shut, and you feel your dick twitch and leak within the confines of the condom. you suddenly wish lewis didn’t want you to wear it, you wish you could feel every cell of his insides squeeze and drag deliciously against you. you had already felt it with your fingers, but you were starving for more, and the thought has you salivating. but it is what it is, you weren’t about to force lewis out of his comfort zone, especially not on his first time. 

“well, i’ve done this before...” you start as you pull back to resume the guidance of your length to lewis’ entrance, your hand leaving a lingering ghost of a touch on lewis’ cheek. “...it’s a bit uncomfortable at first, but i swear it’ll feel really really good after a moment. i promise. i'll make sure it’s amazing for you- and if you wanna stop, i'm ok with that too! Just, please, let me know if i hurt you, or if you wanna stop. i can take rejection, and-” 

“y/n?” 

“mm?” 

“you’re rambling...” 

you huff at yourself and drop your head, your hair briefly tickling lewis’ nose as you mutter your apology. lewis smiled and simply brought your face back up to his to pull you in for another kiss. 

“look... i’ve already taken your fingers and i'm fine. it's just a little more girth, right?” he said as he smiled softly at you. you really wanted to tell him that that wasn’t the case, but you also didn’t want to scare him off. you really wanted this. your thoughts wandered back to the feel of your fingers inside lewis’ virgin hole a few moments ago and you couldn’t wait to have that death grip take ahold of your cock. 

“are you sure?” you ask, solely for validation as your free hand comes up to trace along the intricate patterns of lewis’ braids. he smiles softly and nods. 

“certain.” 

you want to doubt his reassurance, but you can’t ignore your desires – nor his. you just held his gaze for a few more seconds before refocusing back on the initial task at hand. you guide your well-lubricated tip to prod at lewis’ entrance and his hole flutters around nothing in anticipation. he's already a pretty man but you can’t help but think how absolutely divine he looks like this. 

lewis let himself relax against the pillows as your tip slowly slipped into him, taking deep breaths as you pushed past the first ring of muscle of his hole. naturally, lewis gasped, which immediately made you pause thinking you’d hurt him. 

“you ok?” you asked cautiously as your gaze flickered back up to his face, watching carefully for any expressions that may indicate he’d want you to stop. but all you were greeted with was a breathy chuckle. 

“never better.” 

you let out a deep breath and just closed your eyes to focus on all the sensations happening at once. the heavy breaths from both you and lewis, the feel of his hole eagerly engulfing your tip, the firm weight of his hands resting on your chest like an anchor. you were struggling to take it slow, to control yourself and not ruthlessly fuck the ever-living hell out of lewis – the latter could sense it. but you remained strong and kept the pace deliberate. however, should this special situation occur again in the future, you hope he might let you do just that. you wished for nothing more than to take him in every position under the sun, to have him all for your own personal entertainment. it was such a tantalising concept. 

you gradually pushed yourself further into lewis, he would stifle a whimper for every centimeter his hole sucked in – it was a punishingly slow process. but he kept his head as he screwed his eyes shut and hyper focused on the way your fat cock was stretching him. he noticed it was a much different sensation to fingers – but a pleasant difference it was. he was in love with the feeling and even more in love with the fact that you were the one being intimate with him, he felt as though he’d waited his whole life for this moment. 

lewis chuckled under his breath at the sight of you completely losing your mind – much like himself. you were usually so calm and collected from how’s he’s previously observed you, he had no idea you could be absolutely picked apart at the brain like this. it only added to his unexplainable attraction towards you. 

your head was drooped down, and you groaned faintly against lewis’ collarbone. you felt yourself close already and you were only halfway sheathed inside him. you couldn’t help it, he was clenching you way too sinfully good, conceiving pleasures like that from the heavens. 

oh, how you wished to feel him without a condom on, all succulent and raw. 

“holy fuck, y/n...” lewis sighed out as his hand carded through your hair encouragingly, his other moving to wrap around the back of your torso. he drew you as close as your masses would allow you to, cuddling your chests together so compactly you weren’t sure any oxygen could squeeze through. you both breathed heavily as you finally slipped all the way into lewis. he could’ve sworn he felt you in his stomach, you were that deep, and yet he somehow still wanted you even closer. 

“o-oh... wow...” lewis’ voice cracked as you nestled yourself completely inside him, all the way to the hilt, feeling his walls clench you delightfully as your balls pressed against his firm ass. he felt his legs instinctually spread a little wider to accommodate you, an automated response that he didn’t know he had. he breathed heavily while you kissed a comforting trail along his neck, licking along his tattoos, giving him a moment to adjust to your staggering size. 

“lemme know when to move...” you whispered against the lightly sweat-sheen skin of lewis’ collarbone, which only prompted him to weakly hook his legs around your waist. 

“mmh... you can...” he mumbled out softly, barely able to keep his focus on anything but the fat cock that was wedged considerably deep inside of him. he pulled you closer and pressed his forehead to yours – you were now breathing each other’s heavy air and you could practically feel the vibrations of his tiny whimpers in your throat. 

you let out a shaky breath before you gingerly pull your hips back, savouring the electrifying buzz that jolted throughout your entire body as your throbbing cock dragged against his walls. you held your breath as you pulled out to your tip, before gently pumping back all the way into him with a lewd squelch. both of your breaths hitched as a simple thrust managed to illicit such ethereal feelings within you both. the sensations were mindboggling as you began to develop a slow rhythm, throwing lewis into a most blissful state as you made love to him. 

your chests heaved with your deep exhales as pleasure and anxiety wrestled for supremacy at the core of your conjoined bodies. the latter was soon conquered, and you became more confident as you saw his completely fucked out expression – it was all the reassurance you needed to know that he was enjoying himself. 

lewis could feel everything – every little bump and vein on your cock was making an imprint on his insides, like his body was a silicon mold that was simply made for you to use however you wished. he felt your warm breath fan across his face as you whispered encouragements to him. he felt each time your balls and thighs would make contact with his rear. he felt a haze begin to fog up his mind and prevent him from think about anything but the way you were methodically drilling into him. his arms wrapped around your torso to draw you even nearer, his nails digging into your shoulder blades to ground himself. 

“you feel too good...” you moaned out quietly, your words having quite the effect on lewis. he felt all tingly as your voice stuck to the inner walls of his skull and persistently hammered at his brain, infusing what you had said into the darkest corners of his mind. he won’t forget the sultry tone you held when you said that – not for a very long time. 

he never knew it could feel like this, being on the receiving end, but it certainly shed some clarity on his confusion and defeated the blur that censored his heart. lewis knew what he was, and he was more than ok with it. 

“y/n... don’t stop...” he whined, influenced by the pleasure bubbling at his core from you gently fucking him. 

that was all the invigoration you needed before you snaked a hand around lewis’ waist, finding purchase on the small of his back to elevate him a few inches off the mattress. the modest alteration allowed for your cock to venture deeper inside him with each thrust, and for your tip to knock his prostate, causing him cry out and arch up into you. his hands raked down your back, possibly leaving red stripes in the aftermath, and his head rolled back, leaving his tattooed neck exposed for you to kiss and leave a few love bites should he let you. 

lewis moaned loudly, a bit louder than he would’ve liked for a hotel room. typically, if it were a woman, he’d have no issues – hell he’d encourage a bit of volume. he’d want the world to know. in this case, he definitely didn’t want anyone to know he was being sodomised. god forbid it reached the media, he’d never live down the copious amounts of controversy that would spark up. 

but that wasn’t on his mind right now, nothing was, nothing except you. you had stripped away his ability to focus on anything except the pleasure sailing through his veins, the kind that liquified his brain and set his body aflame. it was one thing being inside someone and a completely different thing having someone inside you. lewis decided that he quite liked both. 

lewis' body jolted with each firm from thrust from you, your bodies meshed perfectly like yin and yang. he couldn’t stop his eyes from rolling to the back of his head when your other hand flew down to stroke his neglected cock in tandem with your solid thrusts. your thumb brushed over his swollen, oozing tip, collecting his juices on the pad of your finger. you then brought that hand up to his face, prodding your thumb past his already agape lips and smeared his taste all over his own tongue. lewis moaned again, the saltiness of it suddenly made him feel parched and filthy in only the best way. he couldn’t stop himself from lapping at your finger eagerly. 

“lewis... i-i'm close...” you keened as your thumb, much to his dismay, slipped out of his mouth, tugging at his bottom lip one last time before returning to his cock. he choked out a little giggle through his moan, his hips bucking up into your hand. 

“already?” he teased, although in no position to do so. he smirked up at you. 

“yeah...” you sigh out shamelessly, too focused on the tight coil in the pit of your stomach that threatened to snap at any moment to care about his playful tease. lewis let out a long hum. 

“me too...” he said, which made you giggle in return. 

“already?” you jest, shooting back the same mischievous look he had given you. 

“shut up.” 

the bout of banter soon eluded your minds as your thrusts became more ragged and desperate, and the necessity to cum became devastatingly unbearable in the sordid instant. lewis whined under his breath, his mouth frantically chased yours in a lip lock of spit and tongue as he clenched around you. hard. all his muscles tensed as you devoured his muffled moans, your fist gripping him like a vice. you felt his juices leaking all down your fingers, wet and glistening in the dim light provided by the moonlight seeping through the blinds. he arched up into you as you bucked into him like a wild animal in heat, chasing the high that had been evading obtainability – like it was just taunting you, dragging you around and drawing this out longer than you intended. you had no complaints whatsoever. 

lewis pulled off your lips to bury his face in your neck, his beard scratched you and his heavy breath condensed – it only further concentrated the hot and sticky sheen of sweat on your skin - but you could not give less of a shit when you were balls deep inside him and on the brink of an orgasm. 

“y/n... y/n- please” he choked out as he felt himself about to burst, saying your name over and over like a prayer. you couldn’t ignore his pleas, and you snapped your hips into him just a bit faster, the sound of skin slapping gradually magnifying. 

“cum for me, lewis...” 

your words made him feel high. adrenaline surged through his veins at the same intensity as when he was flying at 300kmh on the track, except this time the whole world wasn’t watching him, counting on him to make it past the finish line. it was just you, him, and the sins you would probably never speak of again. he'd have it no other way. 

with a loud cry of your name that he tried to muffle in the crook of your neck, lewis was tipped over the edge by a particularly hard thrust from you that made his vision tunnel and blur. hot ropes of cum uncontrollably spurt out, painting your hand and his belly white – his cum was sandwiched between your stomachs and sticking your skin – decorating the compass tattooed on his torso. just the sight of his cock twitching and trickling bodily fluids was enough to have you thrown past your limit as well. you came hard within the confines of the condom – the rubber effectively containing what would’ve been a mighty mess – as your hips stopped moving and just rested against him, his hole like a boa constrictor as it milked you for every single drop you had. 

you both panted as you stayed inside lewis for just a little while longer, not wanting to pull out from his warmth just yet – you don’t think he wanted you to pull out yet either. and you were more than ok with that. 

“woah...” was all lewis could muster as he took a beat to catch his breath. 

“woah, indeed...” you replied, too taking deep breaths to regulate yourself. 

lewis felt like he was on a cloud that was drifting away to another realm. his head was fuzzy, in a good way, and he felt weightless in your arms as you peppered kisses all over the lion tattoo on his pec, creeping up to his shoulder and neck. all was quiet as you just basked in the blissful aftermath of your obscene activities, until lewis found his voice. 

“we should do that again...” he said quietly, eagerly, pulling back so his gaze could meet yours. “...but without the condom.”

i wanna fuck the shit outta this man

might go cry rq

-leo :3

[cobrabobra]

you only do this if ur comfy with it<3 okay so Enid has a big crush on Carl's gf(reader), and he notices they way that Enid looks at her, so he lets her eat out the reader then fucks her in front of Enid<33 sorry if this is too much

I know that y'all probably already forgot about me, really sorry for the long break, but writers block is a bitch. Anyways, I'll try to post more often now, during my break I watched a lot of stuff so I will post something other then twd (hopefully) soon.

gosh, i really hope i did well and you like it, thank you for the request, I'm really sorry this took so long!

Kind of Enid centered?, cunnilingus, vaginal sex, jealousy, possessiveness, no condom

English us not my first language so there might be mistakes!

"His"

Love was a complicated thing, it was cruel and fucked up, it destroyed the very person who felt it yet there was something addictive about it, something that made you want more. And loving a person that loved somebody else was even worse, Enid experienced it herself, the feeling, the need for somebody who would never look at her the same way. It was absolutely destroying, devastating and still so perfect and sweet. It was a drug that gave you the best high, but left you in pieces, crying into your pillow about being so stupid.

  Enid was convinced that (Y/N) — Carl's girlfriend, was the prettiest girl in the world. Her hair was soft and healthy, which seemed impossible during the apocalypse, her skin flawless, angelic face, beautiful long lashes, she was a true goddess in Enid's eyes.

    It wasn't a strong feeling, it wasn't anything major, just a simple crush, an admiration. Maybe it was because her options were very limited and a beautiful girl was better than a sweaty dick-brained boy, maybe Enid's hormones kicked in and it was just lust that she felt for (Y/N) or maybe it was a real feeling, something that could've developed into something beautiful if only given a chance.

  It didn't really matter what it was because Enid knew that acting on her feelings would only destroy their friendship, her and (Y/N)' as well as her and Carl's. She kept her feelings locked in somewhere in the deepest part of her brain, allowing it to resurface only when she was alone.

   It also didn't matter what Carl felt, maybe it was a weird fetish, maybe his risky, experimental nature took over, maybe his possessiveness over his girlfriend or simple pity he felt for Enid. It didn't matter why, it didn't. What mattered was what those fings led to. And they led to Enid sitting on Carl's bed, in front of (Y/N), eyeing her plush, pink lips.

   "Hey, it's okay" she smiled, tearing the brunette from her thoughts. "I'm kinda nervous too"

    Enid swallowed, Carl's words echoing in her head as she braced herself for what was about to come.

  How about you eat (Y/N) out?"

A bold suggestion that seemingly came out of nowhere messed with her head until the only thing she could think about was warm, hopefully, wet cunt she was about to dive in head first. Her mouth started to salivate as she imagined sweet taste of (Y/N) 's pussy on her tounge. Her body tingled with anticipation as she simply nodded her head and carcassed the lace of her crushes panties.

(Y/N) twitched nervously beneath her touch, it probably should've made Enid rethink her actions and slow down a little, but it only drove her mad even more, she was too drunk on the feeling to slow down. The girl's uncertainty only made Enid want to corrupt her even more, destroy her innocence until the only thing left would be her wet pussy throbbing, begging for more.

   Love was an ugly thing, it filled you with need to destroy the very person you cared for, fuck them up in the most horrible way and leave them wanting more. At least that's the kind of 'love' Enid felt right now. She wanted to completely and utterly destroy (Y/N) for everyone else, leave her in pieces only she knew how to put back together

    Carl acted as he'd heard her thoughts, because he grabbed (Y/N) by the hair and pulled her close. Their lips met in a heated, aggressive almost, kiss, it seemed like Grimes felt threatened by her. He kissed his girlfriend deep, keeping eye contact with Enid as if he tried to show that (Y/N) belonged to him and only him, he was only lending her to Enid, but she still was his possession. They played a dangerous game that could only end badly.

    "Enid..." (Y/N) whispered, like she was embarrassed, like she didn't want for the other girl to know how good she was making her feel with just a couple of touches and her breaths right against her soaking pussy.

    That one word, her name said in such a desperate way lit a fire inside if her once again. In this moment she realized how much she needed this, it felt like she was starving and there was a delicious three course meal right in front of her. She gently nudged the wet spot on (Y/N)'s panties with her nose, when she got another whimper in return she couldn't control herself any longer, she liked a stripe against the material, finally getting a faint taste of her crushes juices.

  The girl arched her back, her soft thighs wrapped around Enid's neck, almost suffocating her. If that was her reaction now, how would she act later? What kind of noises would she make? Will she scream Enid's name or will she get embarrassed again and let out only quiet moans muffled by her own hand? Will her legs start to tremble when she'll be reaching her climax? She had to know. She had to know right now.

    Her hands were shaking with anticipation, but she still somehow managed to pull her underwear down. When she finally saw (Y/N)'s cunt, soaked, clenching against the air, ready for her, she could swear she could see God himself as she ascended to heaven.

  She put her mouth on the other girl's pussy and an absolute divine taste reached her, the scent was overwhelming, she couldn't breathe. She lapped on her pussy, like she was starving, like she would die if she stopped only for a second. It felt like the entire world was in her hands with her tongue between the swollen folds and her thumb in her clit, teasing slowly.

   What took her back to reality was a sigh. Carl's sigh to be exact, only now had she noticed that he had his mouth on (Y/N)'s plump breast, sucking on the nipple, while his hand teased the other one. Oh, how she dreamed to have her face burried between those, especially when the girl wore something a bit more revealing.

They both acted like predators feeding on their prey, like they were fighting over her.

Fingers joined Enid's tongue soon enough and (Y/N) let out a loud moan of approval. She wanted to absolutely destroy that pussy, to feast on it until there was nothing left. She closed her eyes and hummed enjoying herself, the girl's legs trembled and her thighs squished Enid's neck even harder. They were in the moment, only them counted, the whole world consisted only of the two of them on this bed.

Suddenly Enid's felt (Y/N) move back and she looked at her confused, only to find Carl impatient and annoyed at being left out of the fun. His arm wrapped around his girlfriend's waist, pulling her close.

"That's enough" his voice raspy and unusually deep, dripping with arousal. (Y/N) let out a disappointed whimper, like she didn't want her time with Enid to end. "No need to whine, I'll take good care of you. As always" he said, confident, like he wanted to show off, make Enid's understand that he was the one that pleasured the girl every night.

He unbuttoned his pants and slid them down with ease, throwing them off the bed, his shirt was already unbuttoned, probably (Y/N)'s work.

"Spread your legs for me" he commanded and the girl obeyed, Grimes only looked around her, pleases to have such an obedient girlfriend. "Thank you for preparing her for me, Enid" he smirked at his friend.

She only watched as his cock slipped inside of (Y/N)'s swollen, wet pussy, the same pussy she was eating out mere seconds ago, it seemed like her moment has passed and she could only watch from now on.

Carl's hips moved slowly, his dick disappeared inside of the girl and all Enid could do was slide her hand down her pants, and touch herself. She should have felt pathetic doing this, but all she felt was excitement as she watched Carl's cock slip in and out of (Y/N)'s cunt. It looked beautiful, her pussy glistening with her slick as he fucked her, it truly was mesmerizing, she felt hypnotized, she couldn't look away even if she wanted to.

"Enid" (Y/N) choked out, her hand reaching out to the other girl. Her body moved without her knowledge, her long hair tickled (Y/N)'s neck. Their lips locked together in a kiss, the sweetest kiss she ever had, she could still taste (Y/N) on her tongue.

They kissed greedily as Grimes pounded into her, she wrapped her legs around his hips, pulling him closer as she stroked Enid's hair gently.

Unfortunately there isn't good without bad and everything good has to end eventually. (Y/N) came first, overwhelmed by the pleasure, memory of Enid's tongue, Carl's cock deep inside of her, she couldn't last long. Next was Enid, looking deep into the girl's eyes as she reached her climax. Carl came last, painting (Y/N)'s insides white with his cum, further claiming her as his. Because that's what she was. His.

[bouquetface]

Vedic Astro 1

Accuracy influenced by entire chart.

Sun in Scorpio 2nd H

In Vedic this can result in having karma related to the father. This can manifest in many ways. Ex: Father steals from you, Father refuses to provide or nurture, Father needs money from you at some point - needs money for a medical treatment, etc.

Sun will rule your 11th house if you have this placement in vedic. This shows you value your friendships. Throughout your life, your social network will help you. However, due to the sun’s nature, you may not always be grateful for it. Especially in your younger years.

Ex: Your friend tries to help you find a job. In the moment, you don’t realize that your friend is being very caring towards you. Rather, you feel the job isn’t appealing or you feel it’s not that big of a deal that the friend has found a job for you.

As a result, due to scorpio’s karmic nature, you now end up in a situation where a friend is acting entitled towards you. In a different friendship, you may end up being used - possibly financially.

Ex: You pay for your friend’s meal, they never return this favour. Rather they act entitled & ungrateful about it. They act as if you owe them these meals. This upsets you as you have gone out of your way to be kind.

This isn’t to say you are a bad person who has bad karma. It is simply the karmic scale balancing itself. For your placement it is likely the karma involves social network, money & family specifically the father & his side.

When wrong is done to you, the scale will balance itself too.

In Vedic, scorpio is ruled by Ketu & Mars. Ketu can make you generous. You may enjoy giving gifts or making gifts for your friends & family. Ketu is strengthened when you are kind in this way. This is because Ketu does not want more. Now, this doesn’t mean you should donate all your money and always be a saint. Rather you should strive to be kind and helpful (not even financially just in general) when you can. This can help bless you with opportunities. Especially since your 11th (social circle, networking) & 2nd (finances) are connected.

Good news about 11th ruler in 2nd is it indicates you will have good wealth. This doesn’t always mean you’ll be a millionaire. It means you will always be pretty stable - the basic needs are always met. Ex: You could make a huge mistake like quitting your job without another one lined up. You could struggle to find a new job. Yet, you will be taken care of. You will have a family or spouse who supports the basic needs while you become stable again.

Accuracy will be influenced by the entire natal chart.

Rahu in 5th House

This is an indicator of attraction to those from other religions, ethnicities, nationalities.

This indicates having many children as well. I know someone with this placement who told my grandma they would never have kids. Yet, they ended up with many. Possible manifestations are: 1 - Simply having many kids. 2 - Having step kids along with your own kids. 3 - Adopting kids.

There is a scandalous side to the 5th H. I’ve seen rahu in 5th in a man’s chart & he just recently revealed he’s having a kid with his mistress.

Of course astro doesn’t make you do anything. It does indicate in his chart, he is someone who struggles with being satisfied when it comes to his own pleasure.

Accuracy for everyone is dependent on the ENTIRE chart. Looking at one placement or aspect is barely helpful when it comes to life prediction.

Jupiter in 10th House

Generally, this indicates the father is a teacher. The father may influence your career choice. The father may be highly educated himself.

If Jupiter is in neutral signs, the father is a neutral figure (both good & bad traits). If Jupiter is exalted in Cancer, it indicates the father is a strong presence. Someone you admire and look up to. You adapt their beliefs - religious, political, life perspective, etc.

Now if you feel this doesn’t resonate, check for sun and saturn position as well. For ex: Saturn in 9th can indicate a strain between father and child. Sun in scorpio can indicate karma between father and child.

So sometimes regardless of if you have an exalted Jupiter in 10th, the father can be more of a lesson on what you DON’T want to be.

Jupiter in 10th can give you a career where you are looked at as a teacher. You could be a literal teacher or teach newcomers in the field. People see you as reliable and knowledgeable.

Jupiter represents husband in vedic astrology too. In 10th, it shows you may meet in a work/professional setting.

You must consider the entire chart when looking for accuracy.

Rahu in 7th House

This is another indicator of attraction to people from different backgrounds. (Religious, ethnic, nationality.) High chance you marry a foreigner.

These people love relationships. You can hate being single. You need a partner to feel good about yourself. It can be obsessive thoughts & even fear. When will I find someone? Why can’t I find someone? What if I don’t ever find someone?

Good side is you can be highly intuitive. Especially when in a water sign. You are simply in tune with what other people need & want. This can make you very good at business that involves working with people.

This placement can indicate being cheated on or being the cheater. I have seen it both ways. 7th house is other people, however it aspects the first house which is you. Thus, you may be the one who can be deceitful. You or the partner may love attention from opposite sex. They need that validation and may do immoral things to get it.

Even when cheating is not involved, often these people find after marriage their partner was hiding something. Not necessarily a negative thing. Sometimes it’s a personal thing from their past - they didn’t feel comfortable sharing until much later. Or it’s something neutral, they weren’t consciously hiding this thing to be deceitful. You are always learning something due to your spouse.

I know many with this placement personally. For 2 of them, they were cheated on not the cheater. & 1 person is someone who I know would not cheat and to their knowledge has not been cheated on. A well placed rahu, or well placed 7th H ruler can give good results. Like this person, they are dating someone from a different religion & they plan on converting. Nothing bad in their connection.

However, if I am to be truthful, I know someone with placement who always seemed like they would never cheat or lie. Yet, later in life, things changed them. In their 40s, this man left his wife AND KIDS to marry his mistress.

Don’t take it personally or feel fear due to other people’s experiences. Accuracy is influenced by the entire chart.

Scorpio Mars in First house

Mars is connected to your aries 6th house. This can indicate intense relationship with mother’s siblings. They may strongly dislike you. Or you do things that feel like an obligation for them.

At some point in life, you may change your appearance or life direction drastically. Reasons vary sometimes you realize you have self sabotaging behaviours and must heal. Other times it can be due to an illness or injury that changes you. You could undergo a surgery. It may be needed or cosmetic.

Also, one thing I noticed is all these people’s births were significant. They either were extremely intense births such as being a first birth. OR a surprise birth, the mother was expecting the baby to be born a week later but the baby came sooner. Other ex: 1 person needed an emergency c section. 2nd person was so big they cut their mom open, she needed stitches.

Mars is a “cutting” energy so when in the first house, it can indicate cuts in your body or you leave a mark or cut on other people. This can manifest as being an aggressive person. You may experience physical abuse or assault someone else. However, this is an extreme example of what can be.

Accuracy is influenced by the entire chart.

Aquarius Moon in 6th House

People you help will  become your enemy. Enemy is kinda corny and dramatic but what I mean is people you provide emotional + physical support for will turn against you. It can be friends, coworkers, siblings/family, lovers, etc. They will become jealous and hateful towards you. 

Ex: You introduce a friend from work to your social circle because they seem lonely. That friend will attempt to turn your social circle against you. They may gossip/spread lies about you. They will not recognize the good you did by inviting them into your social circle. Rather they will try to take your spot.

These people must be cautious of who they let in their life. With pisces as your 7th house, you gravitate towards helping people. You must keep in mind not everyone deserves your help. Some will want to bring you down/drain you of your compassion.

Generally, aqua moon in 6th people are focused on their health. Later in life, they often become routine-based. They develop healthy habits. Sometimes, it can be an illness or injury that triggers this health journey. 

If you have an elder siblings, they may either become an enemy or distant from you. However, if well placed, they may help you in times of struggle.

Ex: I know someone with this whose older sister helped get her a job interview when she was unemployed.

Accuracy influenced by entire chart.

[laura1633]

Maybe 1 would be good with Charles or Max helping one of the younger grid members building a nest.

Part 3 of the Omegaverse prompt game.

So I went with Omega Charles helping Omega Oscar. I threw in a little Alpha Max and Alpha Logan in here and some Lestappen <3

“This is a bit embarrassing,” Oscar nervously runs a hand through his hair, “but you are my grid father now,” the Australian gives Charles a wry knowing smile, “so I thought I could ask you something and you wouldn’t tell anyone.”

“What’s happened?” Charles’ nostrils flare as he takes in the way Oscar’s scent is bitter around the edges. Charles can’t quite work out if that is normal for the Australian omega or not. Scent blockers are mandatory at the paddock so he’s not too familiar with what Oscar’s normal aroma is but omegas normally smell sweet unless anxious, “Did something bad happen?”

“No nothing bad” Oscar starts to bounce up and down on the balls of his feet.

“I can get Max to sort them out for you” Charles offers. His alpha can actually be really intimidating when he needs to be. Charles’ offer is not completely selfless, seeing Max growling and baring his teeth is actually a bit of a turn on, especially when he’s in full on protective mode. Then again Charles also loves the soft gentle alpha Max who is perfect for snuggling up in the nest with. 

“I don’t need anyone sorting out.” Oscar laughs, Charles’ offer at least cheering the younger omega up momentarily, “It’s about an alpha, kind of.” 

“Kind of?” Charles cocks an eyebrow curiously, he absolutely loves a bit of gossip, although he’s almost certain he already knows which alpha Oscar is talking about.

“I invited Logan to come nest with me tonight” Oscar’s cheeks start to glow as his shifts his eye line so he’s not looking directly at Charles anymore, “It is actually the first time we are going to nest together.”

“You want sex advice?” Charles’ mind immediately jumps to his first time ‘nesting’ with Max. 

“No. God no, I don’t need advice on that” Oscar blushes even redder as soon as the words leave his mouth, “Nesting. I need help with the actual nesting part.”

“Oh!” It’s Charles’ turn to get a little flustered as he realises his error, “You need nesting materials. I have some spare or reception would send you more up if you ask. I always get them to send up extra stuff.”

“It’s more - ” Oscar pauses and gives the nest on Charles’ hotel bed a good glance over, “- more how to build one.” 

“How to build a good one?” Charles steps to the side so Oscar can admire his handiwork, the Monegasque omega is very proud of his nests, Max always says they are the best around and Max doesn’t lie so Charles knows it must be true.

“How to build any nest” Oscar mumbles as he inches himself closer to the bed, his brow furrowing up as if he’s trying to make a mental note of how the pillows and blankets have all been placed together, “I have never built one before. I don’t know what is good and what is not.”

“Well this is a very good nest” Charles beams, “Wait,  you’ve never built one? Ever? What about when you are stressed?”

“I guess I just get into bed” Oscar shrugs, “Is that weird?”

“Weird?” Charles has always loved building nests, even long before he presented. He’s pretty sure that even if he had have been an alpha he would still have been chief nest maker in whatever relationship he found himself in. It’s fun and comforting, he’s never met an omega who doesn’t nest. Weird makes it sound so negative though, “No, it’s not weird at all.”

“So I thought, I want to make a nice nest. Logan has - , he is not having the best time and I want it to be nice and relaxing for him but also - “ 

“You want it to be more than just a friendship nest?” Charles’ lips curl upwards, he can’t help it, he loves playing matchmaker. It drives Max insane, mostly because Charles’ efforts sometimes go awry and Max somehow ends up having to be the one to sort things out. Charles is never going to give up on helping people find love though. 

“I think whether it’s a friendship nest or not will be up to him” Oscar smiles faintly, “We’ve known each other for so long, I am not sure if he is interested in me like that. I suppose the nest, the evening together, I thought maybe it might encourage him to make a move.”

Charles claps his hands together and squeals excitedly, “We will build the best nest there is. A romantic nest.”

“I didn’t even know there was such a thing” Oscar rubs at the back of his neck, “I thought it was just pillows and blankets.” 

“No” Charles shakes his head vigorously, “It can be just pillows and blankets but not for a special night. Climb in and I will show you this one.” 

“You have a special night planned with Max?” Oscar slips off his shoes and climbs into the nest after Charles. 

“Of course” Charles purrs excitedly.

“Is it an anniversary or something?”

“No” Charles smiles to himself, “Max is just great, don’t you think?” Charles has long since learnt that it’s nice to make an effort just because you want to, no waiting around for birthday or anniversaries, just living in the moment and making it special, “The first thing is the base, you want to pad all the cushions and pillows around and then drape the blankets. It’s a little like building a fort, and you can make it as spacious or as cosy as you want.”

“So cosy for a romantic night?” Oscar runs his hands over the piles of pillows Charles has arranged. 

“Exactly” Charles encourages. 

“I can do the building part, I think that will be fine” Oscar nods, “It’s everything else.” 

“So it’s the little touches that make the nest special” Charles hums, “I like to scent various little bits of clothing or fabric and tuck them in around the nest so it has my scent. I’ve also built in some of Max’s clothing, so the earthy scent, that is his.”

“Your scents are nice together” Oscar takes a long deep inhale, “I don’t have any of Logan’s clothing though.”

“That’s okay” Charles smiles reassuringly, “For the first time you can just have your scent there, once he is in the nest his scent will start to spread anyway. Or you could rip his top off and pop it in the nest” Charles giggles as he sees Oscar’s blush deepen, “If you want it to be extra cosy I would suggest pushing the bed into the corner of the room like I’ve done.”

“I can do that” Oscar nods along. 

“And then, see how I’ve hung the blanket, it’s from the curtain rail to the light fitting there. It’s just a little bonus if you can manage it.”

“Where did you get the lights from?” Oscar looks up to the fairy lights Charles has hung above the bed to create a nice ambiance. 

“I brought them with me, I have some spare, you can have them” Charles is already clambering up and over his nest to get his spare nesting materials out. The omega unravels a set of lights and hands them over to Oscar. Not all omegas add lights but Charles likes how romantic it makes everything feel. The Monegasque goes back to his extra hoard of items and pulls out some of the silk rose petals that he has scattered around everywhere and also hands them over to Oscar as well as some LED candles to pop around the place. 

“I can take all these?”

“Definitely” Charles motions around to where they’ve been placed in his own little construction, “You don’t have to have it exactly like this, just go with how you feel. I know Logan is going to love it anyway.”

“Hopefully” Oscar is back to fidgeting around nervously, “I guess after tonight I will know if he just wants to be friends or not.” 

***

“Don’t go in there feeling all defeatist” Max can’t believe he has ended up in Logan’s hotel room giving him  courting advice, especially given how many times he has told Charles not to interfere with other people’s relationships. This wasn’t Max’s fault though, Logan had been pacing the hotel room corridor anxiously when the Dutch alpha spotted him and he couldn’t exactly walk by like nothing was happening.

“I’m just being realistic” Logan sighs, “You don’t get it.”

“I am dating Charles” Max smiles, “Believe me when I say I know what it’s like to be nervous about having to approach a beautiful omega.  I’ve never been more terrified in my life.”

“It is different for you and Charles, you are meant to be together, ” Logan shrugs as he looks himself over in the mirror, “Oscar could get a much better alpha than me.” 

Max tuts and then leans in to sort out the buttons on Logan’s shirt. The American is clearly stressed because he’s managed to get them all out of sync. He also keeps wiping the palms of his hands against his trousers, another clear sign of anxiousness, “This is what I mean. Defeatist. It’s okay to be nervous but you shouldn’t be putting yourself down in the process.” 

Max knows all too well how Logan feels. He tried and failed countless times to ask Charles if he could court him before actually going for it. It’s so easy to get caught up in the negatives, to worry about being rejected, putting your heart out there is actually a really scary thing to do. 

“You don’t have to go in there and be really confident. Oscar isn’t going to care about how macho you can be” Max steps out the way so Logan can see himself in the mirror, “Just be honest about how you feel. Compliments are nice too, but most of all just be you and you’ll be fine.” 

“Being me has not worked out so well lately” Logan sighs. 

“No, no” Max shakes his head, “Lets not get into that again” the Dutch alpha has already given his very lengthy opinion on Logan’s season and given what he hopes is practical but encouraging advice, he can’t see how going over it all again is going to help right now, “This is nothing to do with racing, you don’t become a better alpha with each race win.”

“I suppose” Logan’s lips start to slowly curl upwards, “So you think I do have a chance?”

“Of course,” Max smiles reassuringly, “There is only one way to find out for sure though.”

“So should I go straight in there and ask him or wait until the end of the evening?” 

“Just see how it goes” Max looks Logan up and down again to make sure there are no more wardrobe malfunctions he needs to fix, “But given how nervous you are, I would just do it straight away. It will be less stressful. Tell him how you feel and give him these.” Max goes to hand over the bouquet of flowers that he was planning on giving to Charles. He keeps the jewellery he has also purchased tucked in his back pocket though, Charles definitively deserves to still get a gift. 

“I can’t take these”

“You have to take them” Max thrusts the flowers in to Logan’s hands, “It’s nice to show up with a gift, even if he doesn’t like flowers it’s the thought that counts.” 

“I didn’t think of it though” Logan points out with a faint laugh. 

“Well don’t tell him that, obviously!” Max laughs back, “Tell him you thought they smelt nice or looked pretty and reminded you of him”

“They do smell pretty and they do remind me of him” Logan agrees as he inhales the scent of the flowers he is clutching hold of tightly. 

“There you go” Max puffs out his chest feeling rather pleased with himself. Charles was right, matchmaking does make you feel good, “Just don’t panic, be honest, and see where it goes” Max nods as he tries to work out if he has forgot something, “Oh and most important of all, know that you are good enough.”

***

Max mouths slowly up the back of Charles’ neck as he cuddles around his omega in the nest. Each times his hips twitch forward Charles whimpers and then wiggles back down against the knot that is still pushed up inside him. 

“Baby please tell me you aren’t going to check that whilst I am still inside you?” Max mumbles as he hears Charles’ phone ping and sees the omega reaching out for it.

“Sorry” Charles giggles making his muscles flutter around Max’s knot, “It might be important.” 

“More important than - “ Max stops as he hears his own phone go off and remembers he told Logan to message him to let him know how it all went. 

“It will be Oscar” Charles slowly pulls the phone closer to him, “He came to me for advice.”

“Oscar?” Max shuffles around and pushes himself as far as he can into Charles’ body making the omega moan and grind backwards again. Max knows that if keeps the pressure just right then his knot will slowly deflate but he’ll still be hard and ready to go again. It’s a nice little trick he learnt that Charles always seems to appreciate.

“He wanted to build a nest for Logan so I helped him, with the rose petals and the lights” 

Max kisses the back of Charles’ head at the mention of all the little touches Charles adds to his nests, Max knows he might be bias but he is sure that his omega really does make the most beautiful nests around, “So does this mean Oscar wants to be more than friends with Logan?”

“Of course” Charles grins, “I just hope Logan took the hint.” 

“Oh I think he will have” Max rumbles gently as he circles his hips and draws another few pleasured noises from Charles, “I may have had a word with him.” 

“You told me not to get involved and you are off talking to Logan?!” 

Max laughs guiltily, “I didn’t mean to  get involved, he just looked like he needed advice. Come on then, check your phone, I need to know.” 

“Oh my god” Charles squeals as he opens his phone to see a picture of Oscar and Logan sat smiling broadly with their arms around each other. From what Charles can see the nest they are perched in also looks very impressive, Oscar is clearly a quick learner, “They look happy don’t they?”

“They do” Max grins as he peppers a few kisses along Charles’ shoulder blades. Oscar and Logan really do look endlessly happy arm in arm in a very fancy looking nest with a huge bouquet of flowers also making an appearance just in the corner of the shot. 

Charles has mentioned time and time again about himself and Max taking on more of a parenting role in the pack but Max has always been a little reluctant. The sight of Oscar and Logan so happy together is starting to make him feel differently though. Perhaps being the unofficial grid pack mom and dad and helping some of the younger drivers out wouldn’t be so terrible after all. 

[lookwhatyoumademedohaha]

And that kids is, how I met your mother Chapter 2 - Labyrinth

It only feels this raw right now Lost in the labyrinth of my mind Break up, break free, break through, break down You would break your back to make me break a smile You know how much I hate that everybody just expects me to bounce back Just like that

Uh oh, I'm falling in love Oh no, I'm falling in love again Oh, I'm falling in love I thought the plane was going down How'd you turn it right around

Summary: Nikolai Lantsov and you attend an extravagant and gorgeous ball. Nikolai falls for you harder head over heels but will you face the labyrinth of new feelings that begin to emerge?

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x Reader, Nikolai Lantsov x Six of Crows Reader, Kaz Brekker x Reader, Zoya Nazyalensky x Reader (Platonic), Nina Zenik x Reader (Platonic), Genya Safin x Reader (Platonic) 

Warnings: Pure tooth rotting fluff, angst and comfort, lots of humor, awesome friendships, unrequited love that might be requited, denial, pining, jealousy and slight violence.

A/N: Hi everyone! This is my first Nikolai Lantsov fic so I was very surprised and grateful for the love, support and kindness you all showered upon me! Thank you very much! Here is the Part 2 to this work and I hope you all like it. I don’t think it ends here, there’s a bit more to go but I’m excited! Let me know your thoughts and comments on my work because it means a lot to me! I love you all! Happy reading!

Chapter 1 - Until I Found Her 

Chapter 3 - Call it what you want

Chapter 4 - Someone to Stay

Chapter 5 - Cornelia Street

You looked at yourself in the gilded mirrors in the hallway of the palace, hearing the melodious notes of the orchestral grand music and the lively chatter of nobles behind the door you were about to enter. You looked at yourself inspecting Genya’s, Zoya’s and Nina’s work on you. You looked ethereal and dreamy, a princess out of a fairytale and yet the girls had not diminished the fierceness of spirit and your heart that kept on fighting for the ones you loved. You fidgeted with your beautiful dress grumbling but secretly feeling thrilled and happy to be wearing such a spectacular and dazzling dress that made you feel on top of the world. 

A snarky voice behind her said “Stop fidgeting with your dress!”

You nearly punched this person reflexively but Zoya was quick to catch your punch and gently lower your arm as she stood behind you with Genya and Nina who were the sparkling epitome of beauty. You were certain that Zoya, Genya and Nina were going to be the belles of the ball, the envy of every single princess in the party and admired by every single nobleman. 

They entered the ballroom as you felt apprehensive and nervous because - because what? You had been to many high society galas and balls as an undercover spy on missions for Kaz during your stay in Ketterdam. But this ball was different. This was a party where you had no purpose of enticing intel or being the distraction. The only purpose of this ball for you was to have fun and enjoy yourself which was a foreign concept to you. 

And also Nikolai, the King of Ravka, your friend would be here. 

Genya noticed your nervousness straightaway as she placed her arm around you comfortingly “You look magnificent, Y/N! Don’t be nervous, we’ll be keeping you company!”

“It’s true, you do look divine. Y/N, look at you all grown up and beautiful and going off to sweep the King of Ravka off his feet!” teased Nina playfully with a grin as Zoya tried to hide an amused smile but failed miserably as a wide smile curved on her face. 

You glared at the three girls who burst into laughter who seem to have fun teasing you about Nikolai’s infatuation with you as you rolled your eyes and Zoya joined in the fun “Nikolai likes you very much. He won’t know what hit him when he sees you, Y/N. He’s already like a lost puppy who follows you around.”

Genya eyed Zoya who slightly nodded with a smirk as Genya replied hopefully “Well, perhaps tonight you could get to know him a little better. You might even find yourself secretly interested him.”

You had to control yourself from strangling Genya in the middle of the ballroom because you and Nikolai were never going to happen as you replied sarcastically “I cannot think of any cleverer way to say this but... no!”

The girls laughed and Genya winked subtly at Zoya who added her fuel to the fire as she said “Well, Nikolai won’t have time for you. He’ll be too busy with important business.”

You generally wouldn’t have inquired but something in the way Zoya pronounced and implied that Nikolai would be busy with important business aroused your curiosity as you inquired “What do you mean?”

“He is the King of Ravka and he needs to find himself a suitable queen to secure Ravka. Tonight’s ball is about finding the perfect queen for Ravka among all the eligible girls here.” replied Zoya steely and firmly as she looked at Nikolai who was busy talking to ambassadors and then glanced at you who wore a thoughtful and quiet expression. “I suppose this is happy news to you. After all, he won’t be bothering you for long.”

It certainly was not a ball to find an eligible queen for Nikolai. Zoya and Genya had a bet with Nina about whether or not you would get together with Nikolai and Genya and Zoya who liked you and knew no one could resist Nikolai for long had bet that you would have feelings for Nikolai before you leave Ravka and get together later on. Zoya and Genya who didn’t want to lose the bet had found an excuse to host a ball on some Saint’s festival and both of them organized this ball of romance and beauty like a military campaign. Zoya and Genya had their fingers crossed as they observed you and Nikolai. If they were lucky, they would win the bet and tonight would be the night you would perhaps feel something more for Nikolai.

You felt a strange sense of odd hurt and slight pain sting you at the thought of Nikolai marrying another girl. You felt quiet bitterness and an aching hollow numb feeling ringing through you as you thought of the charming golden boy who was too good for this world, who smiled too brightly hiding his vulnerabilities and insecurities giving everything for a thankless country marrying a beautiful princess. You knew that you didn’t like him, you loved Kaz. You knew Nikolai had to do his duty and marry a princess for Ravka. But as you sipped your champagne, you didn’t feel easy at the thought of it and you felt horrible for feeling this way because you didn’t love Nikolai in a romantic way. 

Then why did you want to set something on fire? 

At that very moment, a Lord who you didn’t know interrupted your thoughts as he asked you to dance and you looked at Zoya and Genya who had vanished and Nina who was at the table munching on cakes with a laugh at your torture. You glared at those traitors wherever they were and you refused to dance with him. 

You made your way to the food table where Nina was indulging in the cakes as you glared at her “Traitor! I was in danger and you left me!”

“Lord Kirigan just asked you to dance.” said Zoya appearing out of nowhere with a grin. “It’s no big deal. It’s not torture in a locked dungeon.”

You punched her in the arm as she smirked and you smirked back “Well, I refused and suggested that he should ask you. And, he seemed to agree greatly to that idea.”

You smirked in amusement as Zoya grew slightly pale as she saw Kirigan approach her with an enthusiastic wide lovestruck smile and you grinned at Zoya with a teasing twinkle in your eyes “It’s no big deal, Zoya. It’s not torture in a locked dungeon.”

“Saints! If he asks, I have left the country with no plans of coming back!” exclaimed Zoya who glared at you fiercely as she disappeared quickly through the crowd avoiding Kirigan’s advances while Nina and you laughed in amusement. 

Both of you stopped laughing when Kirigan inquired after Zoya and Nina decided to have mercy on Zoya as she drawled sweetly “Zoya died eighteen years ago. I haven’t seen her since the funeral.”

After getting rid of Kirigan, you and Nina enjoyed the champagne and the delightful food while gossiping in amusement and mingling with the crowd. It was different from your missions where you always had to be alert and ready for trouble beneath your charming demeanor. You began to enjoy the party as you were introduced to new people who you liked and chatted charmingly

But you felt Nikolai’s gaze burning into you the moment you had entered. From the moment you had entered to every step you took, you could feel his intense and heated gaze following you with such burning desire that you refused to meet his eyes for the fear of drowning in them. It was such a beautiful and foreign sensation, to have someone so conscious of every little thing you did and adore and worship it. You knew that it couldn’t be possible. After all tonight was about finding the perfect queen for Nikolai and you weren’t simply interested in him and unsuitable for such a position. You were glad for Nikolai but something didn’t feel right within you. 

But your thoughts were still of Kaz Brekker even though Nina had bought you here to forget him. The distance between both of you only made it worse for you as you thought of whether Kaz missed you as much as you missed him and wondered whether he thought of you like you thought of him whenever you saw everything that called out his name to you. This heartbreak felt eternal as it killed you over and over again and sometimes you found yourself looking over to tell Kaz something enthusiastically but realized that he was no longer there, no longer part of your life. 

It felt cruel to suffer like this. Only love could hurt like this. And you never wanted to feel like this again. You wanted this distance to knock some sense into Kaz and make him realize that you were the one he loved. But it had been weeks and there was no word from him. No letters from him. You hadn’t expected Kaz to turn up at Ravka and make a grand romantic gesture but you would be lying if you hadn’t expected at least a letter inquiring about you. You felt burning pain and hurt as tears sprung into your eyes at the thought of the Bastard of Barrel who still managed to haunt you and ruin your happiness even in his absence. 

You were chatting with your new friend Princess Ameera who was kind and nice as you both chewed on the sweet cupcakes when suddenly you were interrupted by a gentleman you asked you “Miss Y/L/N, will you do me the honor of dancing with me?”

You looked around for Ameera who had conveniently ducked behind a potted plant and you looked at the gentleman who certainly did not match up to Nikolai’s aristocratic charm and handsomeness. 

And hell, why in the name of Saints were you suddenly thinking of him?

“No.” you replied bluntly and you were certain the potted plant laughed out loud.

The gentleman looked offended as he turned red and marched away. You were glad because now maybe your horrible behavior toward the gentleman would spread and you wouldn’t be asked to dance by men who didn’t know how to dance. 

Ameera emerged, her face red in laughter “You are splendid!”

Ameera and you laughed but your joy was short lived when a line of military officers and noble gentlemen queued to ask your hand for a dance but you brutally turned them down. You had anticipated this as one of the outcomes but it frustrated you that these men who thought themselves as intelligent didn’t understand the meaning of no. One after another you refused to dance with them simply because you didn’t feel like they would be a good dancer. 

Now you were turning down a Colonel who had thought you were an interesting woman who could be won for a dance as he made conversation with you “I must admit, Miss Y/L/N, I have admired you from afar for some time. You caught my eye the very first moment I saw you.”

For the love of all the Saints, did this man have nothing original in his pocket. You rolled your eyes not noticing Nikolai look at you in observant amusement as you retorted “Why on earth would I catch your eye? Your eyeballs look in perfect place to me. I’m not in habit of catching eyes, let me assure that. I’m more of a catching decapitated heads lady.”

You took pleasure in seeing the life drain out of his face in fear but he tried a different tactic “May I have the -”

You immediately replied wanting to get this over with “No, you may not dance with me. Why don’t you go find another partner who actually wants to dance with you? Goodbye.”

You heaved a sigh of gratitude and Ameera who had been witnessing this grinned “I wish I could refuse men the way you do. It is a wonder to witness.”

Your eyes involuntarily skipped toward Nikolai who was surrounded by a gaggle of beautiful princesses and pretty ladies as he flashed his charming smile and said something that made them laugh. You felt something quite fierce and protective in your heart at the sight as you bit fiercely into your macaroon. 

Ameera smiled knowingly as she eyed you glaring at Nikolai who was popular among the ladies as she queried politely “You admire King Nikolai Lantsov?”

“No!” you denied immediately and fiercely, shocked at the very thought as you swallowed your food and smiled tightly thinking of Nikolai surrounded by all those beautiful princesses and yet the fact he hadn’t paid a single ounce of attention to you stung you “We are friends.”

“I hear he is a good man and a great king with wise plans for change.” replied Ameera conversationally. 

“Well, if you want to dance with him, you will have to wait. There is quite a long line of admirers.” you replied sarcastically and snarkily as you bit into your macaroon again glaring at a princess who touched Nikolai’s shoulder flirtily with a coy smile to which he responded with a charming grin. 

“Yes, you are right. I must not lose my chance. It was a pleasure meeting you, Miss Y/N Y/LN.” said Ameera sincerely as she nodded at you kindly and sweetly and left to meet Nikolai. 

You watched Princess Ameera approach Nikolai and you saw her pointing toward you with a kind smile saying to Nikolai that you had suggested she should dance with him and Nikolai raised his eyebrows at you and you immediately looked away stuffing your mouth with two macaroons. 

As you occupied yourself with observing people and eavesdropping shamelessly at their scandalous conversations and eating the amazing sweets, you found your thoughts wandering toward Kaz Brekker, wishing that he was here with you. Their last mission had been a grand party like this where they had played the role of a married couple, where Kaz had been absolutely devoted and loving toward you with burning desire and affection in his eyes only for you as it all felt beautiful and too good to be true. Then the clock had struck midnight and the fairytale had ended with Kaz Brekker breaking your heart cruelly, tearing you apart with his cold words that made you realize you were a fool for him while he had been enjoying playing the game to achieve his goals. 

Your hand flew toward the simple silver necklace that had a gold ring hanging from it. The ring was stunning and simple with a charm of the silhouette of a Crow engraved on it and the letter R carved into it. It was the ring he had gifted to you with an involuntary soft smile for your mission as a fake couple because he wanted you to keep and wear it. He had placed the ring on your finger with a soft glint in his eyes as he smoothed your palm with his hand and briefly and softly kissed the your hand. It had been intimate and affectionate, exactly like a real proposal between two lovers who wanted to spend a lifetime with each other. This ring was special to you because it gave you hope that you were his and he wanted it that way. 

It felt all too much for you, you were suffocating and you couldn’t breathe as you rushed out of the ballroom to find fresh air and peace as tears sprung into your eyes and your heart ached cruelly tearing you into pieces. You didn’t know where you were, all you knew was you were sitting on the floor as you heaved heavy breaths trying to calm yourself down. 

You heard someone sit next to you and Zoya’s calm and collected voice echoed toward you “Hello you.”

You didn’t reply engulfed in your sorrow and heartbreak and Zoya who had seen you run away out of the ballroom wanted to check up on you. Zoya had seen Nikolai who had been in the middle of negotiations with an ambassador look at you in concern and desperation as he tried to excuse himself to check up on you but the ambassador seemed steadfast on keeping a grip on the King of Ravka. 

Zoya wanted to know why you looked so pale as she said offering a bottle of brandy “Why did you leave the party?”

You took a gulp of brandy and then a deep breath as you replied in a voice trembling with grief and hurt “It reminded me of.... a person. This enigmatic person who I let get into my head. Trust me, he doesn’t leave.”

Zoya knew who exactly you were talking about as she looked over at you because she had experience with enigmatic people and the aftermath of dealing with the grief of losing them and how they let you down so easily as she queried, taking the bottle of brandy from you “This enigmatic person of yours... is your what exactly?”

You were taken aback by the question as you pondered over it and replied quietly “He’s... he’s not my anything.”

“Oh, you mean you are just friends.” replied Zoya easily in understanding as she nursed the comforting thought of throwing Kaz Brekker into a canal the next time she met him as she drank the brandy. 

“Yes, we’re just friends.” you said quickly, too quickly for it to be true as the lie felt bitter on your tongue. You took the bottle of brandy to your lips and the memories of Kaz Brekker, his little soft smile reserved for you until he had become cold and cruel breaking your heart into a million pieces flashed through your mind as you breathed in “Not even friends... not anymore. He’s not the man I thought he was and I hate that.”

“Oh, he was wrong, cruel, mean, underhanded, thoughtless, heartless and arrogant beyond belief.” summed Zoya understanding exactly how you felt because when she had heard of the Darkling’s atrocious act, she had been shaken in pain and disbelief because that was not the man who she had known and cared for. Zoya remembered questioning why the Darkling had become that way and how she could have fallen for his act. “He betrayed you and everything you stood for.”

“Exactly!” you stated looking at Zoya who was drinking the brandy who had summed up your feelings about Kaz Brekker excellently.

Zoya looked at you with a determined glint in her eyes “So are you saying goodbye and ending it? Why are you crying over him instead of enjoying the party in there?”

“I came to Ravka to distance myself from him. I can’t just say goodbye and end everything on a slammed door.” you replied seriously, your eyes widened as a hollow and numb pit began to form at the idea of just leaving Kaz Brekker without a word. The thought of leaving Kaz Brekker, the Bastard of the Barrel even if he was the boy who broke your heart, was incredibly strange and daunting. You could never think of leaving him because... because who would you be without him? Kaz Brekker for all his faults and flaws was the person who had seen your set of skills and given you purpose in life. 

“Yes you can! Anyone can do it! People do it all the time.” exclaimed Zoya honestly and sharply as she watched you drink thoughtfully and nudged you as she raised her eyebrows knowingly “Except of course... when they can’t.”

“Life would be so much simpler if we liked the right people. The people we are supposed to like.” said Zoya contemplatively and quietly thinking of her past with the Darkling as you lay your head on her shoulder glad to have a strong soul who understood you. You felt your breath quicken at Zoya’s words as you thought of Nikolai and Kaz, how vastly different they were and your eyes grew misty “But I suppose then, there wouldn’t be fairytales.”

Fairytales. What a nice and simple word for a fantasy that didn’t exist. In Ketterdam, there was no room for fairytales and yet you were a believer in happily ever after and dreamed of having your own fairytale once you met Kaz Brekker. That was your mistake. You should never have dreamed. You should have never believed that you were someone who deserved to find happiness and true love. Those were purely reserved for good heroes who triumphed in stories. 

You replied curtly “I grew up out of fairytales.”

“So did I. I suppose we have something more in common.” said Zoya smiling fondly at you and then got up as she held out her hand to you with a sisterly expression “This enigmatic person of yours... would you trade them for reliable and dull?”

“My person’s a bit different.” you replied with a knowing smile as you thought of Kaz who was dark and mysterious, full of secrets and schemes.

Zoya grinned as she flung an arm around you “Come on, dry your eyes. Don’t waste a second thinking about him. That’s what he wants, to ruin everything you have but don’t give him the satisfaction of letting him get in the way of enjoying your life.”

“And maybe one day... you can end it on a slammed door and trade him for kind and charming.” advised Zoya with a motherly smile as she leaned her head against yours comfortingly raising the bottle of brandy to your good health making you giggle a little. 

“Alright then, my plan for tonight is to get fucked up beyond recognition!” you replied merrily as you took the bottle of the brandy and took a gulp from it while Zoya grinned in approval and cheered for you.

Both of you made it to the ballroom laughing and talking when Kirigan cornered Zoya who looked like she was ready for battle and you pitied the poor fellow. Zoya was slowly becoming like a sister to you and you admired her fierce and strong composure. But as Zoya battled Kirigan fiercely in his attempts to woo her, your eyes flicked toward a few gentlemen who were near you and near the hearing range of Nikolai. 

You grew curious as you edged a little closer to them with a wine glass in your hand and you heard one of the gentleman, his voice full of glee and juicy gossip as he exclaimed “You haven’t heard?”

Heard what? Spill the tea, good fellow because your ears were open.

Your instincts as a spy were activated as you kept your ears open while you smiled encouragingly at Kirigan who was chatting Zoya who looked like she was battling an army of volcra and you observed the company. It was the Duke Romanov, a few prominent Lords you recognized and a wealthy merchant. 

You pretended to be clueless but really you were sipping on your glass of wine as you listened to their chatter as Duke Romanov said in a drawn out voice that aroused curiosity “King Nikolai is the finest king we have ever had the good fortune to have! I do have a shocking piece of information I need to share regarding him but I cannot do so because I cannot taint my reputation by becoming known as a gossip.”

You rolled your eyes because honestly when men said women were the gossips, it amused you. Men were worse than women when it came to gossiping.

You could practically see Lord Radimov salivating as he said “Yes. You have something of importance, Duke?”

You carefully stepped toward them hiding among the crowd as another girl who had eyes out for an eligible suitor, unnoticeable and invisible to them curious to hear what Duke Romanov who was famous for being a gossip with plenty of juicy stories and wicked rumors to share. You had heard that he had argument with Nikolai regarding one of Nikolai’s reforms of integrating Grisha and non - Grisha for unity because the Duke believed taxing the poor and building useless infrastructure was a better reform.

“I cannot say, my dear gentlemen.” said Duke Romanov grandly to the company “It is merely a rumor and I would never dream of slandering our great King’s character.”

You were amazed at people’s ability to lie so casually and carelessly as you listened to the present company reassure him “We will not tell anyone.”

Lord Devington nodded solemnly “You know us, Duke. We are not men who spread untruths. We would never dream of it.”

It was really amazing as you hid an amused grin at these gentlemen being scandalous gossips waiting impatiently for the Duke to spill whatever scandalous story he was withholding about Nikolai. You wondered whether it was about his wild youth or days in the army. Whatever it was, it seemed shocking to the Duke who you had classified information on. You had information on nearly everyone in the court. You were a spy first and foremost and your instincts sought for information you could use and indulge in. You couldn’t turn it off just because you were on holiday. 

Duke Romanov gave in with a dramatic sigh as he said in a sincere voice that you almost believed “Well alright, but only if you promise not to repeat a word of it.”

Lord Justinbury repeated “We promise. Does it have something to do with his days before he became King?”

Now your ears were wide open as you felt curiosity as you breathed in while the Duke smiled indulgently and said nastily in a low voice you could hear after years of practice as a spy “That’s exactly it, Lord Justinbury. The shocking part is... that before he became king, he prided himself on being a pirate among scumbags and thieves. Called himself Sturmhond.”

Oh dear! He actually cared about getting out of the bubble of royalty and mixing with commoners! How scandalous!

You grinned involuntarily as you thought of the tales of Sturmhond you had heard and your grin grew wider at the thought of Nikolai pretending to be a privateer in the seas as he worked among common folk and thugs. Well, well, how very naughty of Nikolai, breaking all the traditions of the upperclass Ravka. This just made you like him more. 

One gentleman exclaimed “Heavens! The fact that our King has degraded himself so -”

“Rubbing shoulders with terrifying thieves and common folk! That’s hardly a behavior suitable for a King!” exclaimed one of the other Lords while you held back screeches of amused laughter at how dramatic these men were. 

Duke Romanov was not done with his story yet as he added with glee “And he has worked for a living sailing all around the world and making friends with thieves in an awful place in Kerch!”

“Oh my - dear Duke Romanov, you don’t mean to tell me our beloved King has mingled with low scumbags - from what’s that terrible, awful, terrifying place of hell -”

“Ketterdam.” another gentleman supplied helpfully.

Yeah, sounded about right. If there was a hell on earth with every evil, terrible, awful thing that the Pandora’s box unleashed, it was Ketterdam itself ruled by the Bastard of the Barrel who was worse than the devil.

“They do not have a proper system of governance like us, do they?” asked another gentleman scandalized at the very thought of no king ruling Ketterdam.

You suppressed a snort of laughter as you replied in your head sarcastically “Worse. They have Kaz Brekker, Dirtyhands. If you ever visit Ketterdam, make certain to get on his bad side and he will welcome you warmly.”

Duke Romanov was enjoying the effect his story had on his friends as he whispered conspiratorially in a shocked voice “That’s not even the shocking part!”

Lord Seisthorne replied wide eyed “My dear Duke, what could be more shocking than your revelations this evening?”

Oh you thought that was a bold question for Lord Seisthorne to ask considering the juicy information who were holding in your head regarding him. 

Lord Justinbury queried innocently “Does it have something to do with how quickly he inherited the throne?”

“That’s exactly the most shocking part. Isn’t it suspicious how after a long time he suddenly took interest in the throne and worked very hard for it?” asked Duke Romanov delightfully as he exclaimed with a grin “I have heard from a reliable source our King is a Fjerdan born bastard who has no right to sit on the throne!” 

You froze in shock. It was apparent Nikolai had heard it and you weren’t the only one who froze in shock. Zoya and Kirigan who were arguing had also stopped in shock as they looked over at Nikolai protectively and loyally and glared daggers at the gossiping Duke.

You had heard whispers but you didn’t want to believe it unless it came from Nikolai. And as you looked over at Nikolai, it was absolutely clear to you that he had heard it. Nikolai looked charming and undisturbed as he sipped on his drink and yet as you looked closer you saw his shoulders stiffen tensely, his happy hazel eyes flicker with pain and betrayal and his charming smile unnoticeably slightly waver at the corners of his mouth. 

It was as if he was used to it. 

Oh hell no. Hell no! No way you were allowing this gossiping Duke to strip your Prince of his arrogance and pride. Yes, you thought of Nikolai as ridiculous, proud and charming but that was his armor. No one had the right to strip away his armor, take away his pride and hurt him. You would not let anyone do that. 

Alright, so now the fun was going to start. 

Before anyone could stop you, you had marched to Duke Romanov with a charming smile “Duke Romanov! It’s time for our dance!”

Duke Romanov who had not been introduced to you looked at you skeptically “Do we know each other, Miss...”

“Oh believe me, you have not had that pleasure yet. But I believe we can change that for the dance floor calls!” you exclaimed with a delighted smile plastered on your face as you took his hand with a wink and he let himself guide you to the dance floor confused yet fine with what was happening. 

The dance began as the confused Duke guided you across the dance floor and he looked at you in confusion but his confusion melted away to awe when you flashed your sweet smile at him unaware that Nikolai was gripping his wine glass very tightly burning a hole into the Duke’s head as you said pleasantly “Duke Romanov, I understand you are not happy with King Nikolai Lantsov.”

“Who are you?” asked the Duke, his smile fading slightly.

“None of your business.” you said with a charming and sassy smile as you pressed yourself closer to him and felt satisfied when the Duke groaned in pain as you pressed a butter knife you had picked from the table. You smiled brightly as you raised your eyebrows and pressed the knife into his torso “Keep smiling brightly and dancing.”

“Just so we are clear, this is pressed into your brachial artery. Keep smiling, sweetheart.” you crooned sweetly and charmingly with a delightful smile on your face as you danced with him unaware that Nikolai was curiously looking at you who looked far too happy to be dancing with a pompous Duke who seemed like he was trying his best to smile. 

“Once you start to bleed, you will start to lose consciousness and then you will die soon unless someone comes to aid.” you said calmly and politely smiling widely at the Duke pressing the knife harder making him groan in absolute pain “Now given your recent magnificent behavior at this party... how likely do you think that anyone is going to rescue you?”

The Duke’s eyes bulged out of his head in shock as he looked at you with absolute pain and you felt pleasure at him suffering at your hands while you danced with him to the music. 

“To prevent this entirely blessed and wonderful incident from happening, I recommend you should keep your mouth shut about any distasteful rumors regarding King Nikolai Lantsov from now on and take back what you have said to your noble friends.” you said politely and sweetly but your eyes were steely and cool with the promise of danger if he did not agree with your demands “From now on, I’m keeping my eye on you and calling the shots. Don’t ever mock and threaten the King again. Got it?”

“Got it. Really got it.” groaned the Duke who was suffering true pain at your hands, regretting every word that he had uttered. 

“Good. Oh and one more thing. I suspect you want our King dethroned so I’ll be watching your every move. One wrong move, one wrong relationship and the King will be the least of your problems. Don’t smile at this because I am not joking. I have friends who will be glad to take out your eyeballs and hang you down a bridge subjecting you torture if you don’t do as I command.” you whispered softly but it was poison and danger, a promise of death if Duke Romanov didn’t comply as he realized you were serious and he grew frightened of you “If you want your reputation to be untarnished and live a long life, swear and pledge your loyalty only to King Nikolai Lantsov and agree to each and every one of his reforms and commands.”

“Do we have an agreement?” you queried with a kind and sweet smile that only an innocent angel would wear as you pressed the knife deeply into his torso. 

“Yeah! I promise on my mother’s grave!” exclaimed Duke Romanov who was now growing pale and starting to look slightly dizzy. 

“Wonderful. The deal is the deal. Oh, and I suggest you confess what you said to the King privately right now and apologize to him unless you are looking for a much painful punishment from me.” you replied with a gracious and angelic smile pressing the knife harder and deeper into the torso as the Duke moaned in suffering and agony. 

“Spectacular. Thanks for the dance, darling. We should do it again sometime.” you said charmingly with a laugh, your eyes glinting with dark and malicious intentions as you kissed the Duke’s cheek and took your knife away hiding it from sight letting the Duke breath as he wore a horrified and terrified expression at the thought of meeting you again.

You grinned as you sashayed away from the Duke who was gulping in air and you raised an eyebrow at him. He immediately almost ran toward Nikolai clutching his stomach as he said something to Nikolai who looked confused but granted him a private audience as they went to another room. You followed them discreetly and pressed your ear to the door as you listened to the Duke confessed what he had done and apologize profusely to Nikolai who responded with icy silence and then granted forgiveness in a cold charming manner that had a veiled threat in it as the two men started to talk politics and negotiations. You slipped away quietly back to the party with a satisfied and happy grin on your face because this party was not quite bad because it had been fun.

Kaz would have been proud of you. Your smile slightly faltered at the thought of him and your happiness seemed a bit dull. 

Before you could dwell on Kaz, you saw Nikolai striding toward the ballroom with a staggering Duke who looked terrified when you shot him a cold glare. Your eyes were on Nikolai, his golden hair like an angelic halo and his hazel eyes warm and bright like a fire, looking every inch of the King he was meant to be. You didn’t care whether he was a bastard. He cared about people and about his country. That was enough for you. 

You saw slight exhaustion creep into Nikolai’s eyes at seeing a gang of ladies approach him as he seemed to force a charming smile. You didn’t know what came over you but the next thing you knew, you had marched toward Nikolai and dragged him away from those vultures who wanted him all to themselves. 

Nikolai was completely surprised “What on -”

One of the ladies simpered in displeasure “Hey, we were just going to talk to -

“Your Highness, you have impeccable timing, I was just looking for you! We do not have time for flirtations, there’s an urgent situation requires your attention.” you exclaimed with a bright smile as you took his hand and dragged him through the ballroom “Follow my lead.”

Nikolai replied playfully with a bright grin “With pleasure. I love the view.”

You rolled your eyes at him not seeing Zoya and Genya throw each other gleeful looks while you took Nikolai out to the gardens and let go of his hand as he queried curiously “What is the urgent situation? Has your favorite plant died?”

You rolled your eyes at him amusing him “I thought you might need rescuing since you seemed to be tired from being charming.”

“You think I’m charming?”

“Really? That’s all you hear?”

Nikolai grinned widely as he stepped toward you with a sincere and teasing glint in his hazel eyes as he murmured “Just admit you wanted to be with me alone for tonight.”

You felt something erupt in your heart as your cheeks blossomed with warmth “You are the most - most ridiculous, proud, thick - headed prat I’ve ever met!”

“You’re not denying it.” replied Nikolai playfully enjoying riling you up because your fierce scowl and fiery spark in your eyes enchanted him. 

“Fine. I deny that I wanted to be alone with you.” you snapped in exasperation as you felt something bitter sting you as you averted your eyes away from Nikolai “Go, shoo! Go away and be with the beautiful princesses who would make perfect queen for Ravka!”

Nikolai smiled slightly as he realized that perhaps you were jealous but he thought it best not to bring it up as he replied gently “But they mean nothing to me because I have eyes only for the most divine goddess who is standing in front of me.”

You blushed as you felt Nikolai stare at you intensely with burning desire and reverence. Nikolai had been waiting for you to enter the party and when you had arrived, he was struck breathless and enchanted by you. You were always beautiful and lovely but tonight you were a magical goddess who had stepped out of his dreams who drove him crazy. Nikolai had wanted to go talk to you immediately and dance with you all night but the business of protecting Ravka and keeping its interests afloat came first as he made conversation with ambassadors, diplomats, noblemen and ladies charming them and ensuring their loyalty to Ravka. 

Nikolai could not stop staring at you all night because you had bewitched his heart as he stared at you smiling brightly dressed in an off the shoulder rosy pink floaty and soft ball gown with long sleeves embroidered with glittering magical and colorful flowers. Your hair was braided sweetly with lovely waves of it curling down your shoulder, pretty pink and white flowers and purple butterflies tucked into it. You were the most beautiful, divine, magical creature Nikolai’s eyes had ever seen and if he had to define beauty, it was the very sight of you that made his heart soar in joy and gladness. 

All Nikolai wanted to do was to dance with you but he was crowded with people who wanted to talk to him and he observed you had a long line of admirers who you refused sharply amusing Nikolai at the sight of brave officers and noblemen being turned down by you and the rumors of you being a conceited little madam. He knew you weren’t conceited, you were just waiting for the right partner. 

And Duke Romanov... that had been bizarre. At first he had been completely jealous that you had made the first move and asked Duke Romanov of all people to dance with you but as the dance progressed, he noticed the odd relationship between the both of you. Later, after the dance, the Duke had been gasping for breath as he nursed slight wound on his torso that Nikolai pretended to ignore as he apologized to Nikolai and swore his loyalty to him.

Nikolai suspected that you had something to do with the sudden change of heart Duke Romanov had. 

“I had a strange conversation with the Duke Romanov.” began Nikolai nonchalantly and casually as he looked at you and observed a slight amused flicker in your eyes but you kept a deadpanned expression excellently. 

“Oh?”

“He apologized for disagreeing with all my reforms and believed that I was the King Ravka needed and deserved. So many flattering and kind things said and I wonder what made him change his heart about me.” said Nikolai casually as he kept a watchful eye on you seeing your lips slightly twitch but you wore a casual and deadpanned expression as if you had never heard of the Duke Romanov before. 

“Ah, well. Maybe the Duke had a change of heart.” you said cheerfully with a careless grin surprising Nikolai at how well you were hiding it. 

“It’s the strangest thing that a Duke who has disliked me for a long time suddenly had a change of heart after the dance with you.” stated Nikolai calmly determined to coax the truth out of you. “I could have sworn he was holding his stomach with great pain.”

You paused for a moment and then looked at Nikolai innocently “Perhaps he had a stomach ache? Maybe he had too many lemon pies? Eating too many lemon pies always give me a stomach ache -”

“So you didn’t threaten him?” retorted Nikolai exasperated and amused by your lively chatter. 

“How dare you accuse a lady of such scandalous acts, Your Majesty! You are disgrace!” you exclaimed dramatically as you placed your hand on your chest and fanned yourself with another hand pretending to almost faint making Nikolai laugh in amusement. “I am just an innocent lady who does not even know the dark ways of the world.”

“I’d be tempted to believe you if you weren’t part of the most feared gang in Ketterdam... the Crows.” retorted Nikolai with an easygoing grin as his eyes twinkled in joy. 

You decided to drop the act and put your hands up in surrender as you drawled carelessly turning from damsel to a survivor “Fine. I may have danced with him and... offered him a deal that was too good to resist.”

Nikolai raised his eyebrows at you and you rolled your eyes “The deal was he gets to shut his mouth about you and I get to keep my knife away from his major arteries.”

Nikolai’s jaw dropped in shock at the thought of you actually threatening Duke Romanov for protecting Nikolai as his eyes widened in amazement “Why did you do that?”

“I was bored at this party and I wanted to have some fun.” you replied carelessly and nonchalantly as you looked away from Nikolai who felt disappointed and hurt as he looked away from you because how could he ever think he could be special to you?

“And because... because you’re my friend and I don’t want to see you hurt.” you whispered softly and gently with a kind and shy look in your eyes after a long moment of silence as you gazed at him earnestly, a warm protective feeling blooming in your heart.

Nikolai’s eyes widened in wonder and surprise because he was shocked that you cared so much him to do such a dangerous and chivalrous deed to protect his honor and reputation as he suddenly felt breathless and warmth spread across his cheeks as he replied after a long moment “I... you... thank you. You don’t know how much this means to me but...”

Nikolai was speechless trying to find the right words to articulate how he truly felt about you in that moment but words failed him as you smiled softly at him “I know you don’t have to answer to me... but is it true?”

Nikolai halted, his breath hitching because he had thought you heard the rumors surrounding him and believed them. He had not expected you to gently ask about him greatest shame that he hid, waiting for him to tell you the truth from his own lips instead of believing the liars and clowns making noise. 

It was hard to confide this vulnerable insecurity that had defined so much of himself in his life to you who he adored and worshiped. Because you were so wonderful and kind and deserved someone so much better than a bastard who hid his truth and worked so hard to be loved by wearing different masks. 

And yet, as he stood feeling your calming and gentle presence in this moonlit garden, he felt exposed and vulnerable, shy and terrified to let his guard down to the one person who might understand him. 

But the world has lied to you enough... you deserved the truth. 

“Yes. It’s the truth.” the words slipped softly, in a semblance of a whisper as he looked away from you feeling shame and insecurities as he heard Vasily laughing, Nikolai Nothing. “Born a bastard by a Fjerdan sailor and a Ravkan queen who was neglected by her husband in wedlock. It’s who I am, Y/N.”

His voice cracked, broken and hurt seeping through it as he felt the words he left unspoken vibrate in the air “It’s who I have always been no matter how good of a show I put up.”

“Now you know that I am not who I am... you are free to decide what you should do.” said Nikolai quietly, his voice solemn but a hint of pain and hurt seeped through it as he squared his shoulders just like a soldier bravely would before stepping into a battle of bullets. 

The silence seemed to stretch for a long moment and Nikolai realized that you must have left him. Of course, that was the wisest course of action. Nikolai felt his heart sink into a deep, cold, dark pool of self - loathing and heartbreak as he realized you hated and were disgusted by who he was. Who could blame you? Who would want an unlovable bastard, a nothing who pretended to be somebody to befriend and love?

But he was surprised when your arms wrapped around his waist hugging him tightly as you stood on your tiptoes behind him, your chin resting on his shoulders as he felt the curve of your lips tug into a small smile, your voice full of warmth, gentleness and reassurance “Don’t be silly, Nikolai. I’m not going anywhere.”

Nikolai felt time stop as he realized you were still here, still with him and had chosen the real and true him as a lump of emotion swelled in his throat as you said lightly “I happen to like you very much just the way you are, you ridiculous boy.”

Nikolai smiled involuntarily as he felt warm and loved without any strings attached as he closed his eyes and placed his hands on top of your hands that were wrapped around his waist, pulling him into a tight hug as he felt happiness erupt in his stomach “Y/N... you know this means, I’m not nobility. Not really.”

Nikolai knew he had to face you as he turned around to look at you. You were stunning, kindness and thoughtfulness etched on your face as you stared at him softly with an open heart. He couldn’t understand why you had not left him here all alone. Nikolai didn’t understand why you had seen the real him and still stayed with him, embracing him warmly with a light hearted and reassuring words that made him feel that nothing was going to change how you felt about him no matter his insecurities and truths that were revealed. 

People always left. Why weren’t you leaving?

“Nobility is not defined by our family lines. It’s defined by our actions and how we honor others.” you said drawing yourself up straight in a poised and dignified manner as you looked at Nikolai in gentle reassurance and quiet understanding and your lips quirked into a smile “You are silly and ridiculous... but out of every aristocrat and royalty and nobility I have seen... you have proved to me that you are the true definition of nobility because you earned the title, the throne and crown by your actions and caring for people... not by a royal title you took for granted.”

Nikolai’s eyes widened in surprise as he stared at you in wonder and amazement, his heart thudding loudly as he realized that you didn’t care about his birth status quo and you believed that he was worthy of being called noble as his eyes filled with gratitude “Coming from you, that is high praise.”

You smiled softly at Nikolai as your eyes twinkled in kindness as you replied sincerely and earnestly as you took a deep breath “You are ridiculous, condescending, absolutely annoying, insufferable and -”

Nikolai raised his eyebrows “Excuse me, I thought we were having a moment?”

“All I know is for your many faults, you are honest, courageous, strong, true and kind - hearted and you are on your way to becoming the greatest king Ravka has ever known.” you stated quietly with a solemn and contemplative expression with belief glimmering in your eyes that surprised Nikolai who was stunned and speechless “I don’t care whether you are a bastard or a noble. It doesn’t matter who we are born as. What matters is who we decide to be. And you have chosen to be a king who wants to make Ravka a safer and better country.”

Nikolai who felt the air knocked out of his lungs at the sincerity and belief in your eyes felt speechless until he managed to retort “I didn’t know you believed in me so much.”

“Trust me, I can hardly believe it myself.” you replied with a good natured grin, your eyes twinkling in amusement and honesty.

Nikolai let out a huff of laughter as he felt your hand brush against his gently and he felt electrified and excited, the butterflies coming alive. He wanted to take your hand in his but he felt terrified. 

He had never felt this way with anyone. Why on earth was he nervous to take your hand?

Saints, was he sweating? 

“Get it together, Lantsov,” he commanded himself sternly “You’ve faced Fjerdan bullets and pirates and death and the Darkling. This is nothing compared to that.”

You looked over at him with those pretty eyes and he instantly knew that everything he had faced was nothing compared to you. 

“I suppose it’s hard to believe that there are people who believe and accept me for who I am. I’ve grown up with servants whispering rumors in front of me about my birth... my father who never cared about me because he knew who I was and my brother who taunted and laughed at me because I was not his blood.” said Nikolai taking in a deep breath, trying to articulate everything he felt as he found himself confiding his deepest secret in you easily, suddenly finding that it was easier for him to breathe “ I never belonged anywhere. Maybe that’s why I ran away and became Sturmhound, the dashing privateer. I wanted to find somewhere I belonged.”

Your expression was one of pure curiosity “Had any luck?”

“I’m not sure yet.” replied Nikolai quietly and softly as he stared at you hopefully, his eyes filled with adoration and aching longing for you and you felt yourself blushing as you realized what he meant. Nikolai smiled slightly as he sighed “All I know is... court is not where I belong. They all smile and pretend to love me but they all know the truth and gossip about it. It... I pretend it doesn’t hurt but it aches sometimes and that’s why I do everything to make up for it.”

There was a long moment of silence and Nikolai felt as if he was the drowning man who had suddenly been pulled to shore by you. He had confided his status in Alina who had comforted him with sweet words. But he saw you furrowing your eyebrows thoughtfully with a small smile you wore when you thought of something deep and smart. 

“You’re spending your entire life trying to make people happy. It’s good to care about others but not at the expense of yourself. Don’t try to make up for it or apologize for who you are to those who gossip about you. Be a king... be a leader and tell everyone what you need them to do. Show them who you are... the bastard who earned the right to become the King of Ravka.” you said passionately and truthfully to Nikolai who was taken aback your sharp wit and wise insight that was not comforting but truthful and inspiring to him.

“You know... there are times, when you display a sort of... I don’t know what to call it.” said Nikolai with a strange and thoughtful expression and then looked at you with a small soft smile “But it is... I’d say you display a strange sense of wisdom laced with sharp truth.”

You blushed as you looked away feeling admired and good enough as you smiled shaking your head and he looked at you with a bright twinkle in his eyes, his spirit renewed “I suppose then... being a bastard isn’t that bad because it has earned a point in my favor from you.”

You laughed as you looked at him and breathed with a shy and sincere smile “By the way, I like you when you’re like this. When you are just being yourself without reservation, without trying to please anyone.”

Nikolai felt warmth and happiness burst in his heart as he blushed “It’s too easy to be myself when I’m with you.”

You blushed as you looked at him admiringly and affectionately, full of amazement and protectiveness for the boy who had grown up with demons in his head and yet chosen to be kind and courageous. You felt terrible and admired Nikolai for growing up in a palace where he felt he did not belong, struggled to define himself outside the rumors and earn the love of his family and people when it should have been given unconditionally to him. 

You thought of a lonely boy who craved for acceptance and love, running away to fight in the front lines facing danger and death and becoming a privateer to find a semblance of a family could have at some point decided life was cruel and become a monster who was filled with bitterness and anger. And yet, Nikolai had faced the world with a bright smile and maintained a kind heart and a courageous soul to fight for the good of the world. 

You thought of Kaz who was completely different to Nikolai, Kaz who was full of vengeance and cruelty but his heart was still in the right place to people he cared about. You wondered whether Kaz could have chosen to be kind or whether he chose to become the Bastard of the Barrel to survive in this world and define himself by vengeance. But it was useless to ponder on such questions. It was what Kaz had needed to do to survive in the Barrel, right? If he hadn’t become the biggest and baddest of them all, he would have surely died. 

But yet looking at Nikolai, flickers of doubt started to tug at you. Could someone be full of hurt and pain and fight their way to the top while maintaining a semblance of kindness? What if Kaz had chosen to be a little kinder and softer, would he have loved you? 

There you were thinking of the Bastard of the Barrel again. 

And why on earth were you thinking of Nikolai again?

Your hand had unconsciously flown to your necklace as you were thinking of Kaz when Nikolai inquired curiously interrupting your thoughts “What’s that?”

You realized you were stroking the ring Kaz had given you and blushed a beetroot red in embarrassment as you stuttered “It’s - it’s - um - it’s my engagement ring. Saints! I mean - uh fake engagement ring Kaz gave me when he pretended to be my husband.”

“I see.” said Nikolai quietly feeling his heart break at the mention of you still wearing something Kaz Brekker had given you. It felt as if Kaz Brekker found a way to remind Nikolai that you were not Nikolai’s but Kaz Brekker’s girl. “May I see it?”

You nodded after a flicker of hesitation as you let Nikolai step closer toward you, his fingers lightly brushing against the skin of your neck electrifying you as he grasped the ring gently and examined it curiously and after a moment replied sassily “It’s nice. Not the ring I would have chosen for you. May I ask as to why you are still wearing it?”

“It’s difficult to explain.” you said biting your lip with a troubled look in your eyes as you looked into Nikolai’s quiet and gentle eyes that waited patiently for you. “The truth is... I don’t really know why I’m still wearing this ring after everything.”

“I know it’s over with Kaz Brekker and I know he will never love me. I know it was a fake engagement that I was stupid to believe was real. But for some reason... I keep holding onto this ring he gave me because... it’s special to me.” you said softly and thoughtfully as you thought of Kaz whose lips pulled into an unnoticeable soft smile when he looked at you and whose eyes glinted in amusement and affection whenever you made a joke. 

You looked at the silhouette of the crow as you traced the R engraved on the ring, blinking back tears with a heavy heart “It’s like - like I’m not ready yet. I’m not ready... I’m scared to take it off because I don’t know what will happen to me if I do. Because deep down, I know if I take if off, it will mean that I’m saying goodbye to everything I shared with Kaz Brekker. It’ll mean that all the memories, the good and bad times, everything we shared was all wrong and fake.”

“I’m just trying to hold onto the memories... I’m trying to hold onto him for as long as possible with the desperate hope that he see me one day.” you whispered, smiling amidst the pain and hurt you had tried to drink away tonight but resurfaced when you thought of Kaz. 

You took a deep breath as you stayed silent with Nikolai who looked at you feeling pain and hurt strike his heart at how much you loved Kaz and wondered whether there was a chance you could ever love him back as he said after a long moment “Y/N... I know you love Kaz Brekker and that bastard is incredibly lucky to be loved by you... but Y/N, are you really going to wait your whole life in tears and pain for him to see him while he ruins every moment of your life that you could be living the way you want to? Y/N, you’re trying everything to prove to him that you love him but he has only made you end in tears and heartbreak.”

 It was the truth you didn’t want to hear as you glared at him but he remained unaffected and steady, offering you the truth instead of sweet lies. 

“You are an amazing person. You care about his feelings more than yours. But you’re not holding onto him... you’re holding onto the pain because that’s all you have left. You deserve to let go and think about what you want and put yourself first. You deserve to be free and happy.” said Nikolai earnestly and honestly as he looked at you sincerely as your gaze softened with sadness and surprise because you had not thought of it “I hope one day... you’ll find yourself brave enough to let him go instead of clinging to a bastard who treats you poorly and breaks your heart. I hope one day... you’ll let yourself breathe and live for yourself.”

You were speechless as you realized Nikolai had spoken the truth that reached into the depths of your saddened soul that suddenly felt quietly inspired and Nikolai smiled gently “Until that day... I’ll be standing by you every step of the way.”

You were speechless as you stared at him in wonder and quiet surprise because it felt so strange to have a person care for you so deeply that he would tell you the real truth in a way that inspired, motivated, understood and comforted you. You didn’t know if you could ever let go of Kaz Brekker, let go of this overwhelming heartbreak and sadness you felt and wondered whether there would ever be a day where it would happen. 

“You’re right. But it feels impossible. Because he still has a hold on me. He always will.” you said weakly, your voice wavering in exhaustion and pain as you looked at Nikolai whose face was etched with concern. “He is more than the boy who broke my heart. He is the boy who saved me. And I know there is something in him worth saving too.”

“At the expense of your own happiness and good health?” queried Nikolai softly and gently, his heart clenching in hurt for you. “Saving him while you drown in despair and pain?”

You froze feeling angry and hurt, stung by Nikolai’s words because he had always been kind to you. You liked Nikolai because he was always full of kindness, comfort and goodness. He was never harsh and unkind. Now Nikolai was spitting the cruel truth to your face unflinchingly, remaining unaffected and steady as he took a dig at your deepest pain.

It felt as if he was patronizing you, believing that you would always be the girl who would drown in despair and hurt out of your love for Kaz Brekker. It felt like he was almost laughing at your deep love for Kaz Brekker and thought of you as a foolish, silly girl for clinging onto Kaz and not letting go. It was as if he thought he would be the one to save you from the grave you had dug for yourself while hiding his amusement at how deep you had fallen into your grave. 

It felt hurtful. It felt patronizing. It felt condescending. 

Most of all you just felt angry that it was Nikolai who was trying to help you when it should be Kaz Brekker who should be there for you. You wanted to yell in pain because there was so much pain searing in your heart. You wanted to kick and stab someone in your anger. You wanted to lash out at Kaz Brekker for making you this girl who was on your knees, weak with love for him. But Kaz Brekker wasn’t here and you lashed out at the only person who was here for you. 

“Don’t you speak to me again, you condescending, patronizing prat! You know what, I shouldn’t have told you anything thinking you’d understand!” you snapped angrily burning with rage that you wanted to unleash on Kaz Brekker but you shoved Nikolai instead hiding the tears in your eyes “Don’t - don’t ever come near me again!”

You blinked back the harsh tears that threatened to fall down your cheeks as you ran away wanting to be alone. You didn’t even know where you were going as you ran through the graveled paths, deeper and deeper into the gardens, feeling humiliated and heartbroken. You cursed the Bastard of the Barrel who had broken your heart and kept on hurting you over and over again. 

You breathed in the beauty of the night frozen in time right where it was left but before you could take a better look, oncoming footsteps drew your attention immediately. The air grew cold with fear and anticipation as you stiffened preparing yourself. The footsteps came closer to you but you were ready to take down the intruder who threatened your peace and probably life as you turned around and landed a punch on the intruder who groaned in pain, kicking him in the crotch as he doubled down in pain and wasted no time as you efficiently got him in a headlock, one of the knives you had drawn from under your dress glinting in the moonlight as you pressed it lightly on his throat. 

“Don’t beg for mercy. I have none.” you whispered dangerously and quietly “Who are you and who sent you?”

“It’s Nikolai Lantsov, the King of your heart! Saints, you are so murderous... do it more.” whispered Nikolai huskily with a flirty smirk under your grip as he breathed, his heart beating rapidly. 

You couldn’t believe your ears as you realized the mop of blonde hair and the smooth and flirty voice belonged to no one except Nikolai “WHAT? WHY ARE YOU HERE?”

“I came here to see if you were okay but obviously that’s not important anymore.” groaned Nikolai under your grip because you still had not released him out of shock as he let out a gladdened and lovestruck sigh “Could you choke me tighter? I’m loving where I’m right now.”

You released him blushing at the sexual innuendos he was implying as you glared at him fiercely while he brushed his coat regally as he coughed, slightly red in the face and you snapped at him in exasperation “OI! I told you to stay away from me!”

Nikolai looked quite calm for a man who had just been punched, kicked and nearly strangled to death as he replied rubbing his reddened cheek and nose with a cheeky smile “I didn’t listen.”

You raised your eyebrows at him knowingly in exasperation “You do that quite a lot.”

“That’s why you like me.” retorted Nikolai with a cheeky and bright grin, his hazel eyes twinkling in knowing and amusement. 

“Who says I like you?” you retorted in annoyance and irritation but for some unfathomable reason, warmth flared on your cheeks as your stomach flipped. 

Nikolai only responded with a wink and a good humored grin that made you feel shy and conscious of yourself as you looked away from him. You were still angry but not at him. You had been irrational and cruel to the very person who was trying to help you because you had been too busy drowning in the depressing thoughts of Kaz Brekker, the boy who broke your heart. 

“I’m sorry.” you blurted out quickly because guilt nagged at your mind and heart at lashing out at Nikolai who had looked hurt at your words. “I’m so sorry. You weren’t patronizing or condescending, you were trying to help and - and I was angry at Kaz but I took it out on you. I don’t expect you to forgive me but I want you to know that I’m so sorry.”

Nikolai wore an inscrutable expression that scared you because you didn’t know what he was thinking. Nikolai stepped toward you and looked deeply into your eyes. In a moment, his expression softened into one of forgiveness and gentleness as he smiled softly and kindly as he caressed your cheek tenderly “You are always forgiven, beloved. I’m only glad that you felt safe enough to take it out on me.”

“I don’t deserve a friend like you.” you said, your voice cracking in heavy emotion of disbelief and shock as tears sprung into your eyes at feeling the depth of how much Nikolai cared for you, a person who didn’t deserve it. 

“Y/N, I’m terribly sorry but I am exactly who you deserve.” replied Nikolai with a bright and tender smile understanding that you had acted out of grief and not out of malice

He wiped away your tears and pulled you in for a warm hug as he wished that you would see that what you deserved was standing right in front of you, holding you in his arms and after a long moment he said softly “I want to understand you. Why were you so angry when I suggested you should let go of Kaz Brekker?”

“Because - because for all his faults, Kaz Brekker is the reason who I am today. Kaz was the first person who believed I wasn’t weak. Kaz showed me that I’m a dangerous and powerful girl, a force to be reckoned with!” you exclaimed passionately as you looked at Nikolai, your heart beating with pain and reminiscence of Kaz teaching you how to survive in the Barrel and advising you when you fell down, believing in you when you were frustrated with yourself and looking at you with that rare approving and happy gleam in his eyes when you performed extraordinarily well. 

Your voice cracked as you felt broken and wrong “Without him... who am I? I don’t know who I am without him. I’ll be nobody if he didn’t see me.”

Nikolai was shocked because that was not what he expected out of you but as he looked at you, his heart pounded in pain and understanding for you as he said after a moment “When I became the King of Ravka, I believed I didn’t deserve my throne. Not truly. Because it wasn’t me who had extinguished the Fold and brought peace at last. It was the Sun Summoner, Sankta Alina who everyone believed in me that achieved the goal. I thought I was nothing without her. I wouldn’t have made it that far without her.”

“That’s not true.” you said immediately because you knew it was wrong immediately “You are a great King. I’ve seen how you are as King. You care so much about people that you bled for them in the battlefield, you smile and give them hope for a better future and you’ll do anything to hold everything together to stop your kingdom falling apart. The people might have had faith in Alina but you’re the one who rallied them all together and gave them hope for a better future, a better Ravka with a King who would not repeat the failures of the past.”

Nikolai felt moved as his heart swelled with gratitude and surprise at being seen by you and felt a lump of emotion swell in his throat as he replied after a moment “Well, you seem to be full of compliments for me today.”

“I don’t give compliments. I tell the truth.” you said with a scowl making Nikolai chuckle and you punched him in the arm playfully “Stop, you’re going to be so insufferable now!”

“Well according to you, I’m already insufferable and I’m never going to stop being insufferable with you!” exclaimed Nikolai with a teasing grin as he hugged you with a heart full warmth and happiness as you squealed at the sudden hug but welcomed it with a laugh. 

You both laughed together and as the laughter subsided, Nikolai looked at you seriously “You think of me so highly, with so much of faith. You believe that I was equally important as Alina. Why don’t you believe the same about yourself? Why don’t you believe that despite Kaz Brekker, you have always been a strong girl who had a fire within you and kind heart? A girl who would find a way out of the darkness into the light?”

“I - I -” you stuttered in shock and disbelief as you racked your brains trying to find the answer but you were lost for words as you stared at Nikolai who was gazing at you in utmost faith and complete belief. 

“The answer to your dilemma is the same as mine.” stated Nikolai gently and firmly after a few moments as he caressed your cheek gently and softly, his fingers tingling feeling sparks of joy at the contact “You are who you are in spite of Kaz Brekker. Kaz Brekker may have shown you what you can do but everything you did, all the challenges you faced, all the times you won and became stronger after each battle.... all those achievements are yours and yours only. You never needed Kaz Brekker to become great. It was him that needed you.”

You were speechless as your heart pounded loudly and your thoughts raced frantically as you tried to remember. You tried to remember who you were in Ketterdam before Kaz Brekker had entered your life. It was murky and the memories began to resurface in wisps but you remembered being untethered and free, unemployed by the Bastard of Barrel. You remembered you were a girl who had a deceivingly calm composure, a charming smile and an instinct to observe sharply and react at the right time.

"I remember." you murmured softly as you remembered how you would blend into the crowd and be a ghost, a different version you needed to be to deceive others in order for you to gain information and help people and the sharp perceptiveness and curiosity you possessed with the spirit of wanting to make a difference.

You remembered how you helped people with your skills, finding out where there missing children were, who their spouse was sleeping with, helping children in abused homes flee to a safe place, investigating deaths and disappearances as you found yourself tugging on threads of cruelty and corruption in the city, finding proof on people who were wrongfully convicted to be set free. You had done some good, reunited friends and family, saved lives and made people smile again as they owed you debts of gratitude before Kaz Brekker came to your life.

You weren't powerful but you were dangerous and strong in your own right.

Had you really forgotten that?

"I had forgotten who I was before him. Now I remember... little bits and pieces of it." you murmured in wonder and reminiscence as you looked at Nikolai feeling incredibly shocked and taken aback that he had helped you find a part of you that you had almost lost.

Nikolai smiled as he realized that you were slowly beginning to find yourself "It would be an honour to know who you were before Kaz Brekker...but you're not obliged to tell me."

"Perhaps one day... I'll tell you when I remember everything." you murmured softly, your eyes quietly and gratefully promising him.

“I shall count days until then.” said Nikolai earnestly with a lovely smile that made your heart skip a beat as you suddenly realized how utterly and completely beautiful he was. “That’s the beautiful thing about letting go... you get to create your new beginning and find a new dream.”

“A new dream...” you murmured, the very sensation of it feeling strange to you as you thought of the novel idea of letting go of Kaz and leaving Ketterdam to find something different and new, a dream of your own that you didn’t yet know. “That’s sounds lovely. What’s yours?”

“What?” queried Nikolai in alarm and surprise because he had been too busy staring at you lovestruck and lost in dreams of holding your hand in his and dancing with you. 

“Your new dream. You told me once that you dream of a Ravka that will never fail its people. But you must have your own dream... a new dream?” you inquired curiously as you looked at Nikolai wanting to know everything about him because this boy who shouldered the burden of a nation with a heavy golden crown smiling brightly but had such vulnerability and kindness to him that you had not seen him display in public fascinated you.

You saw him smile hesitant and reluctant to reply as you nudged him “Come on! I can see you have your dreams. I won’t laugh, I promise.”

“I dream of you...” thought Nikolai longingly his lips tugging into a smile of affection and adoration as he gazed at you. But his heart beat rapidly, and he felt too scared to confess the overwhelming enormity of his affection for you because he could lose you forever. 

And yet he wanted more than anything for you to know his dream that he hid from the rest of the world.

“I have a dream... an unfulfilled and new dream that I persist on dreaming it even thought it seems like it can never come true. I dream of a happy home, with laughter of children who are loved more than they know, friends who will always be there and... a  wonderful wife with whom I am deeply in love with and share a blessed, happy and blissful relationship that will always stand through adversity” said Nikolai slowly and softly as he gazed at you, his hazel eyes burning with meaningful longing and aching hope that frightened and excited you as you inhaled a sharp breath “I dream about holding her hand and growing old together, dancing in the rain and spending our lifetime together full of adventures and love unburdened by meaningless things.”

You suddenly felt an aching in your heart as you felt the warmth and beauty of the vision that Nikolai had painted and you felt a sharp jab of pain that you didn’t understand at the thought of Nikolai living this beautiful dream with another girl as you replied softly and sincerely “That’s beautiful. I hope your dream does come true, Nikolai. I really hope you find someone that you will live your dream together.”

“I have found her. But I’m waiting for her to see me.” said Nikolai quietly and sincerely after a moment as he gazed at you intensely with worship and affection and your cheeks flooded into a warm red as you realized what he might be implying and you simply didn’t know how to feel about that “She’s smart, a fighter, loyal, and has this heart full of kindness and love. And she’s so enchanting. I feel like since she came to life, I have begun to hope and dream more than I ever did."

"But you know, she's rather rude, punches me in the nose, nearly stopped me from producing an heir and gets mad at me when I try to show her how I feel and completely in love with this guy who doesn't understand how awesome she is." said Nikolai honestly and sincerely, his heart pounding as he took a risk with his feelings and glanced at you who had frozen and yet was smiling in amusement, your eyes glinting in pain and worry "I wish she could just see me."

You were silent as the loudness of your heart mingled with the aftermath of his veiled confession hit you hard like a ton of bricks. You liked Nikolai. You really, really liked him. For all his flaws, he had become your rock and your safe place without you even realizing it from the moment you had met him. Nikolai was a good man and a friend who you cared for so much but you couldn't and didn't feel this way for him. You could never love Nikolai Lantsov the way he wanted you to love him.

But hopefully, he wasn’t talking about you. He was Nikolai Lantsov, the King of Ravka! He met many people on a daily basis! You weren’t special to him! 

Yes, that could be it. It wasn’t you he was talking about. It was another girl whose name you didn’t want to know and face you never wanted to see. 

“Well... she sounds completely awful. There’s a chance she’s going to break your heart and make you cry. You shouldn’t have hope. It’s dangerous and clouds your judgement.” you said sternly and quietly as you felt your own experience and memories surface “If she doesn’t see you, you should move on and find someone better. Don’t wait around for someone who won’t see you.”

“Maybe hope is dangerous and foolish. But whenever I’m with her, I know I’ll wait an entire lifetime for her to see me.” replied Nikolai softly with a gentle and yearning smile that made you feel hot and you tried to push away the thoughts that perhaps he was talking about you “She’s worth the wait.”

“Oh my Saints! You are absolutely lovestruck idiot! What if - she breaks your heart and falls in love with someone else? What if she doesn’t love you back and goes on with her life?” you exclaimed as you slapped Nikolai in his chest as you were exasperated and annoyed at him for liking this hypothetical princess so much to the point of giving up everything “Mark my words, I speak out of experience... you are setting up yourself for heartbreak with this princess of yours.”

“Consider your words marked, Oh Wise One. I love her so much that a part of me doesn’t care if she loves me back. Her happiness is way worth more than making her mine.” said Nikolai as he gazed at you lovingly tucking a strand of your hair behind your ears “All those princesses chasing me doesn’t mean a thing because there’s only her.”

“You really love her, don’t you?” you asked feeling self - conscious, praying to all the Saints that the girl wasn’t you.

Nikolai’s smile of longing, affection and sadness was enough to answer your question as you smiled quietly, feeling a slight stab of pain at the fact that it wasn’t you despite the gladness “Well... I just think this girl needs some time to see what’s really in front of her.”

Nikolai’s heart fluttered with dangerous hope as he saw you gazing at him sweetly and gently with an aching sad yet quiet longing and understanding as he felt breathless but you grinned up at him with a new idea in your mind.

“Oh!” you exclaimed in wonder and childlike awe making startling Nikolai who jumped back at your energy “Oh, I know! You’re Sturmhound, the pirate, right? Tell me everything!  I’m dying to know all about it! Is it really true you have a flying ship?”

“Darling, I’m a privateer. That is an important distinction.” said Nikolai grinning at your enthusiasm as he regaled you “No, it’s not true about me having a flying ship.”

You looked so disappointed Nikolai wished he hadn’t said that as he corrected you with a proud smile “I have a fleet of flying ships.”

“Saints! Why did you become a privateer? Other than running away to find where you belong?” you questioned eagerly and curiously, hungry to know about his life as a privateer. 

“Well, a prince is a songbird in a golden cage. A privateer has freedom to decide his own fate and find where he belongs. I loved my life at sea that gave me freedom but I always planned to come back to Ravka.” stated Nikolai with a sincere and quiet smile. 

“Tell me about your adventures! What was your favorite one? I’m dying to know all about it! Have you really traveled all over the world? Is it really true that you deceived the Darkling and hunted the Sea Whip?” you questioned, your eyes bright with curiosity and wonder as you looked at Nikolai with enthusiasm.

Nikolai was one to boast of his adventures and yet he was uncertain as to where to begin with you but the questions you fired at him eased him into a direction of describing his adventures on sea where he sailed with his crew, fought pirates, explored different lands, got into trouble and had extraordinary adventures. You had different questions bubbling with eager curiosity that Nikolai was only too happy to answer as he felt content speaking about his time as Sturmhound that he cherished. In return, Nikolai was full of questions about your life and role in Ketterdam with the Crows and you provided colorful and vivid descriptions of stories of dark danger, near death experiences and amazing adventures and heists that you enjoyed being part of greatly with your friends who you loved. Both of you talked endlessly and comfortably with each other about your lives, full of curiosity and respect for each other, eager to learn from and understand each other. 

You both had lost track of time as you talked and laughed with each other as you nudged him “I’ve always wanted to be a pirate. I’ve always thought being a pirate would be so fun! Not just a pirate but a captain of the most feared pirate ship! But it’s a silly dream.”

“As a privateer, I am deeply offended at your remark, my lady.” replied Nikolai pretending to be offended as he grinned easily “Why is it a silly dream?”

“Well, I’m not a pirate. I don’t know how to sail. I don’t have a ship. Pirates are not taken kindly by pompous privateers.” you retorted with a teasing grin as your eyes twinkled with good humor making Nikolai laugh in amusement “And I can’t leave Ketterdam.”

Nikolai knew that she truly meant that she couldn’t leave Kaz Brekker and looked at her with a smooth and sincere smile “I’ll teach you how to sail one day. We’ll go out on the ocean and have our great adventure. And one day, I have a feeling you’ll become an infamous pirate who everyone knows of. And don’t worry love, I hope you become a pirate because when you conquer the seas and try to attack me... I’ll be on my knees begging for you.”

You blushed bright red at what Nikolai implied as you found no proper sentence in your brain that had stopped functioning as you finally snapped to a grinning devilish Nikolai “Do you - stop doing that!”

“What? I like it when you blush.” replied Nikolai wearing an innocent expression but his eyes were twinkling with a devilish gleam. “You would look so amazing in a pirate’s outfit...”

You snorted in amusement as you shook your head at Nikolai “You have a set of strange kinks rooted in deep seated desires, don’t you?”

Nikolai’s eyes glimmered in amusement “I am more than happy to demonstrate my list of kinks to you.”

“No, thank you, please torture someone else.” you replied coolly as you shuddered while Nikolai threw his head back in laughter. 

“Well, I could do that but it’s so fun to torture you.” replied Nikolai playfully as he blushed when you brushed against him, his skin setting on fire with desire and longing. 

“Bold last words for a man who is about to lose his spleen.” you replied darkly as you glared at a laughing Nikolai trying your best to scowl but you found your lips twitching into a small smile. 

Nikolai shot a challenging look to you “You don’t even know where my spleen is.”

“Don’t test me, prat. You’re tempting me to prove you wrong.” you said with a wicked grin as you stepped toward him with glimmers of danger sparkling in your eyes.

Nikolai stepped back as he placed his hands in surrender and fell to his knees “Oh Captain Y/L/N, please spare my spleen and my life! In exchange, I’ll give my heart to you!”

“You are absolutely ridiculous!” you exclaimed trying to hide your blushing face as you tossed your hair and started to walk away. “Absolutely mental!”

“You always walk away when we have an emotional moment, darling!” exclaimed Nikolai loudly and dramatically while you controlled your amused and delighted laughter as he ran toward you trying to catch up with you. 

You shoved him lightly and playfully as you shook your head at him fondly as he said after a moment of silence “Do you think that’s your new dream? Being a pirate?”

“Maybe. I don’t know.” you said softly as you were lost in thought “All I know is being a spy. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Good spies don’t let anyone they are spies.” said Nikolai cleverly as he looked at you. 

You winked at him “The greatest one don’t need to hide themselves. It’s up to you to play the game with us.”

“You can never trust a spy. And a spy can never trust anyone. It must be a lonely existence to be detached from the rest of the world.” said Nikolai honestly and smartly as he looked at your serious and solemn expression. 

“No. That’s where everyone gets it wrong.” you said with a clever smirk as you looked at Nikolai who raised his eyebrows in curiosity “The best spies have a trick... a trick that always helps them win in the end.”

“What is it?”

“Now if I told you, I wouldn’t be much of a spy, would I?”

The trick was to figure out who could be trusted in this world. Trust is a double edged sword. It could be used to your advantage when needed. You had learned that it is a lonely existence to live without trusting anyone because to live without trusting anyone meant to live without people who would back you up when you were in trouble. That’s what most people got wrong. They believed trusting no one protected them. Knowing who to trust and when to use that trust to your advantage, that’s what truly protected and empowered you. 

“Can I trust you?” queried Nikolai curiously with a twinkle in his hazel eyes. 

“If you like.” you answered vaguely with a playful smile as you looked over at him with an amused twinkle in your eyes. 

Nikolai knew about you through what Nina had told him and he wanted to know more about you “Nina says you’re one of the best spies she’s ever known. Why do you like being a spy?” 

“Well, you can always pull the grandest con, and perform dazzling magic tricks to steal what’s most precious to people... their secrets while flirting with life and death and being absolutely forgettable to the people who have the memory span of goldfish.” you said airily and calmly with a clever and witty smirk that amazed and enchanted Nikolai who could see your charm, beauty and cleverness played a part in making you a spy who could get away with anything. 

“Is this a con?” asked Nikolai feeling slightly insecure because he believed that you wouldn’t lie to him but your nature as a spy and his position as a king put them both in an awkward position. 

To his surprise, you weren’t mad and offended but grinned “Finally, you’re thinking like a real king would. You tell me... do I seem like someone who would trick you?”

“You seem like someone who enjoys tricking anyone as long as you are in charge of your own fate.” replied Nikolai lightly and perceptively, his hazel eyes burning with longing and admiration as he looked at you. 

You looked at him in surprise as you nodded in agreement “You do know me.”

“You still didn’t answer my question. Is this... our relation - friendship real?” demanded Nikolai, his voice slightly wavering in insecurity and uncertainty even though he still held onto the belief you wouldn’t trick him but the ghosts of his past haunted him. 

You realized this was important to Nikolai as you took a step toward him and placed your hands on his shoulders, your eyes intense and sincere as you whispered softly “You are... you, Nikolai Lantsov... is the only person who I don’t want to be dishonest with. You terrify me because you are the only person who makes me feel like a girl who is seen... not a spy who hides away wearing different masks.”

Nikolai couldn’t breathe, he was certain he was having a cardiac arrest. Maybe this was a dream... a really good dream that he didn’t want to wake up from. This couldn’t be real because there you were holding him as he inhaled the soft notes of your perfume that haunted him, as you looked at him earnestly and sincerely with complete vulnerability as you told him nothing but the truth. He couldn’t describe the relief and joy that flooded him as he heard those blessed words fall from your lips, glad that this was real... not a trick cruelly played on him. 

“You’re beautiful.” whispered Nikolai breathlessly as he stared at you adoringly and reverently, because you were his Saint who he worshipped and believed in “You are absolutely divine.”

You felt your heart stop and your breath quicken at how intensely adoringly and affectionately Nikolai was gazing at you as if he had never seen anyone and anything as beautiful as you are as you felt self conscious and shy full of denial “Nikolai...”

“No, don’t you dare say that you are not beautiful. I only wish you could see what I see, Y/N.” whispered Nikolai huskily and softly as he reached to slowly caress your cheek, igniting shivers that ran down your spine as you held your breath “You are so enchanting that I feel you’re a Goddess in an impossible dream that the Saints have chosen to torment me, you dangerous girl.”

You couldn’t breathe or think but only felt Nikolai worship you with all consuming reverence and admiration, overwhelming adoration and affection that was only reserved for beautiful Goddesses and pretty princesses. You felt fragile and beautiful, precious and important as your eyes fluttered shut to feel and live in this moment that felt so wrong because Nikolai was your friend and yet, selfishly, you wanted something more from him. 

You didn’t understand this feeling. 

Your eyes fluttered open as you gazed at Nikolai with curiosity and shy nervousness as he stared at you as if there was nothing compared to you and he smiled, the sight of you making him weak “Y/N... I have something to show you... something that I want to share with you.”

Perhaps you should have refused because you loved Kaz but thoughts of Kaz Brekker eluded you in that moment as you stared at Nikolai, a shy boy who offered his hand nervously yet resolutely to you, waiting hopefully for you and you smiled widely as you took his hand in yours, your fingers intertwining perfectly and gently with his fingers that held onto your hand as if he couldn’t believe this was real. 

Nikolai Lantsov thought he was going to faint and die of happiness when you took his hand with that enchanting smile. Oh Saints, he was going to die before he married you if you kept looking at him with that soft and kind look in your eyes, as he felt the warmth of your hand radiate in his.

You looked at Nikolai who looked calm and composed wearing a joyful smile but internally Nikolai Lantsov was screaming happily and jumping up and down in excitement. 

In companionable silence, Nikolai led you toward a stone wall with lovely white roses curling on it as an old wooden door awaited you. Nikolai opened the old wooden door that creaked with welcome and chivalrously let you enter and stepped in closing the door as you looked around the garden. 

You breathed in the divine beauty of the garden that was frozen in time right where it was left. There were pillars and walls covered with green and dark vines and creepers of purple, pink and pure white flowers. There was a bubbling fountain with an ancient statue of a pretty lady holding a puppy in her arms. There was a untamed and untended wilderness of bushes and trees full of vividly wild and colorful flowers beyond your imagination that took your breath away. As you tumbled through the rusty gates and grand arches, you saw a old table with fine china tea set and napkins that had been long used covered in leaves and wilted flower crowns lying on the table. You smiled when you spotted a simple and ethereal childish tree house lodged on top of a tree. There were ponds and fountains everywhere in this vast garden and as you made your way through a garden of brightly colored cherry blossoms, you saw two swings with pretty flowers curling around the rope as they faced the view of a beautiful shimmering lake.

It was absolutely breathtaking. It was as if Nikolai had realized you were losing faith in fairytales and helped you step into this magical, ancient, wild garden that was timeless and beautiful in it’s own way, haunted by memories and ghosts. 

“It’s... it’s a fairytale!” you exclaimed in amazement and wonder as you looked at Nikolai who smiled widely and softly squeezing your hand gently “Nikolai... it’s magnificent!”

“This is my secret spot. It’s special to me. This is where I come when I want to be alone.” said Nikolai quietly and sincerely as he saw you look at him in surprise and wonder “You’re the second person I’ve been here alone with.”

“Not the direction where I thought this was going.” you said lightly with a chuckle feeling surprised and moved that he brought you to a place where he wanted to be alone and slightly jealous of the person who was here with Nikolai before you.

Nikolai laughed happily as he led you to the swing where you sat down feeling childish and playful and Nikolai sat on the swing next to you, with a reminiscent and bittersweet smile, his expression thoughtful and sincere as he looked over at you as you both giggled swinging like kids on the swings. 

“This used to be my favorite place in the world... this was mother’s secret garden. She suffered neglect in her marriage and wasn’t always happy but this was where she was the happiest, I believe.” said Nikolai honestly and reminiscently as the words suddenly spilled out of his mouth, remembering his mother who he had been fond of but had to exile. Nikolai didn’t notice you stiffen in surprise at the shocking revelation as you realized that this place was sacred to him. “Where we were the happiest together. She was the first person who I arrived to in this garden.”

“No one had time for me but when my mother had time for me, she’d bring me here. She used to say it was our magic garden where nothing outside mattered at all in here.” said Nikolai with bittersweet reminiscence as he stared at the shimmering lake shining under the moonlight remembering how he had given his mother heart attacks when he jumped into the lake and swam.

“We had the best times in here. I remember we used to spend hours playing hide and seek, building the tree house, laughing on these swings and having tea parties. She called me her sobachka.” said Nikolai with a fond smile as he felt the good and warm memories engulf him like a tidal wave, his heart feeling the pang of bittersweet “After I... after I exiled her because of how she violated her duty... I haven’t been here since then. But it’s just how I remember it. The fountains, the trees, the flowers, the swings... like nothing has changed. Not true, of course. Everything has changed. If I could bring my mother here, she wouldn’t recognize most of it because I haven’t had anyone touch this place. She wouldn’t recognize me.”

“I know it won’t mean much but I am sorry.” you said softly after a long moment of stunned and speechless silence where you had been shocked and moved by Nikolai’s vulnerable and real revelations of his childhood he confided in you “It must be hard.”

“It was the right thing to do for Ravka. If Ravka is to change, it must start with me.” said Nikolai steadily and strongly, no hint of vulnerability and insecurity noticeable but you observed a hint of exhaustion hidden deeply in those wonderful hazel eyes. 

“Well, that’s good for the King of Ravka. But... you are Nikolai, a man with a beating heart that feels deeply.” you said quietly and observantly, gentleness and understanding etched onto your face as you looked at Nikolai “You’re only human.”

“Well, sometimes the man does contemplate on his past and feels... feels human. Fragile and breakable and remembers too much and feels too much pain. Losing my mother who really knew me meant gaining Ravka. I just didn’t know it would be this lonely and painful.” replied Nikolai as he blinked back the tears that sprung into his eyes at how you could see through his act and smiled shakily “But I try not to dwell on the past but focus on the future with hope.” 

You didn’t have any words for him because you were not certain that any amount of words could comfort him as you stayed silent patting his back gently as he brushed away his tears “I didn’t come here after the war. I didn’t want anything changed in this garden. I don’t know why.”

“Well, it’s because this garden is sacred to you. It’s full of memories with your mother who you loved and didn’t live up to your expectations. The only person who knew and accepted you at the time. You’re holding onto her the only way you can... you’re holding onto the pain and grief because that’s all you have left.” you said sincerely and softly after a long moment of silence as your hand rubbed his back gently, your eyes warm and understanding repeating Nikolai’s words to him. 

Nikolai who was stunned at how you put his feelings into words properly found himself smiling brightly through his tears “I love it when you quote me.”

You both chuckled as silence reigned over you and you quietly reached over and slowly took his hand in yours surprising him. You held his hand in yours tenderly and gently, hoping he would understand that you were there for him as you smiled warmly at him, giving him hope and courage. 

“This is the first time I’ve been here since exiling my mother... with you. I wanted - I’ve hidden this place for so long but I wanted to share it with you.” confessed Nikolai sincerely with a rosy blush as he stared at you adoringly and reverently with a warm smile “Sometimes the bitter past is sweeter when you share it with a very special person.”

You couldn’t stop smiling happily as you squeezed Nikolai’s hand tightly because this felt precious to you. This was Nikolai laying down his armor and letting down his guard with you as he shared something incredibly intimate and sacred to him with you. It felt as if Nikolai trusted you with his heart to show and tell you something so private and special and you felt honored. You promised yourself you wouldn’t break this trust that felt precious and beautiful. It was nice that he had shown who he was rather than who he pretended to be to everyone. 

You were rendered speechless with emotion and Nikolai gazed at you with a warm smile “I want you to have this garden. This is yours as much as it is mine now.”

You began to protest because this was Nikolai’s sacred place and you couldn’t take something so precious to him when he shook his head and silenced you “Please. Don’t say anything. Just know that this garden is yours to enjoy now.”

You felt touched as your heart filled up with such emotion at how Nikolai easily made you feel important. It was as if he was gifting a piece of him to you hoping that you would cherish and protect it. As both of you sat in swings, swinging in silence occasionally talking and laughing with each other. Nikolai felt the air grow colder as the sky grew dark with storm clouds but he didn’t want this night to ever end. And he knew he would regret it for the rest of the life if he didn’t say these next words. 

“Y/N... it would give me the greatest pleasure if you could do me the honor of - uh - um -” stuttered Nikolai nervous and shy as he gazed hopefully at your beautiful and kind face full of curiosity and anticipation, your eyes dancing with mischief and surprise as you looked at him make a fool of himself in front of you “Uh - that is to say - I want - I mean, will you do the honor of -”

Okay, this was going terribly and Nikolai wanted the earth to open and swallow him as he saw you raise your eyebrows at him. You probably thought he was having a stroke. 

You looked at him softly in pleasant surprise and hope, your eyes full of light and warmth as you completed what he had begun “Dance with you?”

“Yes... that’s exactly it!” exclaimed Nikolai letting out a breath of relief feeling like a complete idiot in front of you because the corners of your lips twitched slightly but your eyes were full of fondness and surprise “Will you please dance with me?”

You grinned brightly as you nodded your head in agreement. Nikolai’s hands were shaking as he placed his hand gently on your waist. He had to force himself to stop screaming in joy when you held his hand and placed your other hand on his shoulder, as he felt breathless at how close both of you were. The light distant notes of the music in the ball echoed as both of you started to dance together.

You wanted to look away but there was something so magnetic and enticing about Nikolai, something that you hadn’t seen before. You had danced before as you remembered how you had attacked Nina who was a phenomenal dancer to teach you how to dance for your first mission. Nina had been surprised as to why you wanted to learn how to dance quickly but she had taught you well along with Jesper. You remembered how Nina would instruct you over and over again while Matthias encouraged you, Jesper and Inej teased you while Wylan played the piano as Kaz’ lips twitched in amusement at how spectacularly you were failing.

You had become quite a proficient and graceful dancer in time thanks to Nina’s and Jesper’s tutoring. For your missions you had danced many times at different galas and balls with countless partners who didn’t have any rhythm or pushed you around the dance floor instead of guiding you. You had never danced with someone that wanted to truly dance with you and cherish the moment. You had never experienced this thrilling, enchanting feeling of being wanted and safe in someone’s arms while spinning and twirling. 

You didn’t understand why Nikolai was smiling at you so beautifully and why you felt so safe in his arms. 

“What are you doing?” you asked Nikolai because you wanted him to undo whatever he was doing to you.

“Dancing with you, love.” said Nikolai with a bright grin that made your heart pound in excitement and thrill. 

“Why aren’t you dancing with the rest of the princesses who are waiting for you?” you queried careful to keep any hint of jealousy or hurt you might have felt out of your voice. 

“Because I only want to dance with you.” said Nikolai softly and gently with such sincerity and earnestness that you were rendered speechless and then his eyes twinkled in delight “Though I must admit, I am flattered you granted me this dance. I observed you breaking the hearts of every eligible gentlemen at the ball tonight by refusing to dance with them.”

You scowled making Nikolai grin in amusement as he spun you around as you said “They didn’t really want me. And besides, I didn’t want to dance with any of those men with terrible breath and egos larger than their dicks.”

Nikolai couldn’t stop laughing outright as tears of delight and happiness sprung into his eyes “You have such a unique way of saying things. A poet in your own right.”

You laughed as he drew you closer to you as you felt dizzy in a good way. His touch on your waist, his hand holding yours radiated comfort and warmth, a promise of safety that was never going to be broken. You didn’t feel as if you were guided by him, Nikolai was a good dancer who had perfect rhythm and didn’t push you around the floor. Dancing with Nikolai felt as if you were floating on air, your feet light and blissful as you craved for more, wanting to dance with him under the moonlight forever. 

You both could hear the distant melody echoing from the palace ballroom as a singer’s voice crooned from a distance “No, I won't be afraid, no, I won't be afraid just as long as you stand, stand by me.”

You could feel your heart beat fast as you looked at Nikolai who held you like a promise as he looked at you with such staggering affection and sincerity twirling you around as he caught you in his arms with a gentle and loving smile as the singer crooned “So darlin', darlin', stand by me.  Oh, stand by me Oh, stand Stand by me, stand by me.”

This moment felt intimate and quietly blissful. You looked at him and saw his face expressing nothing but steadfast promise to always be there for you no matter what. A lump of emotion formed in your throat and you knew in that moment that this ridiculous, beautiful, wonderful boy would always have you and nothing could ever change the fact that you would stand by him.

Nikolai felt blessed as a man to hold you in his arms and dance with you tonight as you smiled at him with that smile you smiled when you felt truly happy and content. He had never felt this way about anyone. Nikolai cherished this moment as you rested your head on his chest, swaying gently and Nikolai swore his heart beat skyrocketed at the fact that the woman he loved, who was incomparable and wonderful was in his arms resting his head on his chest. 

You took in a deep breath as you looked at Nikolai shyly “I’ve never done this before.”

Nikolai was confused “Danced?”

“No. I mean, I’ve danced with plenty of men who think they are the greatest of all time. But I mean, I’ve always danced for missions, for the purpose of completing a task. I’ve never had the pleasure of enjoying and having fun at a dance... I’ve never danced with someone I like who likes me back.” you confessed feeling foolish and shy as you averted your gaze at the last moment, blushing at confiding your little secret to Nikolai. 

“Then I shall endeavor to make this night unforgettable.” said Nikolai honestly and gladly, happy that this was the first time you were dancing properly for fun without any purpose and it was with him. You had chosen him. “May I ask what’s made you like me?”

You shot him an exasperated glare that made him smirk widely in amusement “Really? I can’t believe you. I might just step on your feet.”

“You wouldn’t do - OW, SAINTS MY FEEBLE FOOT!” exclaimed Nikolai who had begun teasing you but regretted it the very moment your high heel poked him in the foot very sharply “Alright, it’s a mercy all those men survived dancing with you.”

Nikolai regretted the words slipping out of his mouth because the moment he said that, your high heels stamped him with vengeance “OWW - FOR THE LOVE OF RAVKA - HOW THE HELL DID YOU MANAGE TO STEP ON AND INCAPACITATE BOTH OF MY FEET, WOMAN?”

“I’m really enjoying this dance. It’s so fun!” you exclaimed with a wide grin amused and delighted at Nikolai’s dramatic reactions and you grinned brightly when he shot you a childish and petulant look.

“Oh yes, laugh at my pain. You sadistic she - devil, you enjoy others pain so much.” retorted Nikolai surly trying to be serious and petulant but you were laughing outrageously and his lips twitched happily “My poor, poor, feet.”

“You are a war hero and you cannot survive this dance?” you queried sweetly as you batted your eyelashes.

“You remind me of a cavalry horse who stepped on the feet of officers who he didn’t like.” said Nikolai as he nursed the pain in his foot and then realized the ungentlemanly tone of what he had said as he quickly scrambled “I beg your pardon Y/N, I didn’t mean to imply you were heavier than a cavalry horse -”

But you were laughing in amusement as you shook your head fondly at Nikolai. You felt really happy and alive and wondered how many moments in your life you felt this incandescently happy. You remembered the memories with the Crows where you felt the thrill of undertaking a new adventure, the moments shared with Kaz that you thought meant something but this moment with Nikolai felt very different and special to you than the rest of them.

The lightning flashed in the night sky and the drops of rain began to relentlessly fall down upon you. You couldn’t help but smile as you hugged Nikolai in happiness as you felt the raindrops soak you thoroughly but you didn’t care as you and Nikolai laughed and danced in the rain. Thunder grumbled and lightning flashed as the storm raged on but you both were perfectly happy as you ran through the gardens childishly and laughed happily and danced joyfully and happily in each other’s arms because there was nowhere else you both would rather be. 

And late into the morning as both of you stumbled into the castle giggling and Nikolai walked you to the palace, his coat draped over you, you realized you hadn’t thought of Kaz Brekker at all when you were with Nikolai and most importantly, you didn’t now care as much as you did before. It felt strange and new as you looked at Nikolai rambling about a new invention of his and your lips tugged into a soft smile at how your cheeks were aching from smiling and your stomach hurt from laughing so much. You had missed being happy. 

Perhaps every long lost dream and every time your heart broke was a northern star that had guided and led you to Nikolai Lantsov, the man who had a heart full of kindness and love.

You didn’t want to think about falling in love again, but you were glad to have a true friend who understood you in ways that no one ever did. 

And when Nikolai saw you off at your chamber, you looked at him with a strange and quiet look in your eyes as you said “Thank you. For tonight. It was everything.”

Nikolai smiled enchantingly as his eyes twinkled with affection and longing for you “You are welcome. But I must thank you for making this ball the best night of my life.”

“Go inside and get warm. I don’t want you catching a cold.” said Nikolai fussing over you as he took his handkerchief and started to use it as a towel as he scrubbed your hair in worry trying to dry it while you snapped at him and freed yourself.

“Oh stop fussing!”

“Oh, pardon me if I didn’t want you to get sick!”

You laughed as you looked at Nikolai gratefully and warmly as you suddenly threw your arms around him and hugged him tightly because there was this very warm and happy, aching and loud emotions flooding into you as you whispered to a very surprised Nikolai who hugged you back “I think I finally believe in Saints.”

Nikolai held you protectively and caringly in his arms as he whispered huskily “Why?”

“Because they led me straight to you, Nikolai Lantsov.” you whispered softly and reverently, your voice full of emotion in a sacred prayer, a whispered secret uttered in a room. 

Nikolai felt breathless and speechless as his brain stopped functioning for a moment as he processed what you meant as you buried your head on his shoulder for a moment because if you didn’t want to let him go at all and wanted to stay in his arms forever where it felt safe and right and real. 

But you broke out of the embrace as you looked at a stunned and speechless Nikolai, his eyes shining with glimmer of joy and hope as you leaned up and pressed a soft and sweet kiss on his cheek, your lips lingering on his skin very briefly and then smiled “Good night, Nikolai. Sleep well.”

Nikolai stood outside your door frozen in shock because you had just proclaimed that you believed in Saints because of him and had kissed him on the cheek. His hand hovered over the spot where your lips had softly and briefly lingered, his cheek growing warm as he replayed that moment in his head over and over again. He was grinning widely like a fool, frozen in time and swore never to wash his face again because he didn’t want your kiss to be washed away. Everything was just perfect and beautiful and magical in the world because Nikolai had the most magical night with the woman he loved. And now, he dared to truly hope that you might have feelings for him too. 

Nikolai wanted to scream from the rooftops. Nikolai wanted to dance joyfully. Nikolai wanted to run. But he felt it all as he stood frozen for a long time outside your door. 

After a few moments, Zoya came marching through the corridors and fumes were coming out of her ears when she saw Nikolai soaked wet, standing frozen as she scolded him “YOUR MAJESTY, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? You were completely missing, no note! You could have died! You could have - Nikolai? Nikolai? Saints, you’re not moving! Are you alright? What happened?”

Nikolai grinned loopily, looking like an insane lunatic “My dreams are coming true!”

Zoya raised her eyebrows at Nikolai wondering if he had slipped and knocked his head hard when she realized that he was standing in front of your chambers and Zoya had to resist the urge to gasp out loud in surprise as she replied calmly “Nikolai... what the -”

“She kissed my cheek, Zoya!” exclaimed Nikolai letting out a squeal of delight and Zoya shushed him immediately because she didn’t want him waking you up “Aaaargghh! I can’t believe it!”

Zoya dragged a lovestruck Nikolai who was over the moon away from your chambers as he mumbled and waxed poetic about how divine your eyes were but Zoya hid a smug smile as she muttered under her breath “I’m winning that bet, Nina.”

And Nikolai Lantsov who was absolutely enchanted by you would toss and turn restlessly in his bed until he sunk into a deep slumber bewitched by beautiful and sweet dreams of you.

Taglist: - 

@cleverzonkwombatsludge

@khaleesihavilliard

@mochinoms-doesart

@simrah1012

@hauntedenthusiasttragedy

@marissat1998

@queenofspades6

@xhaliemax

@ladespedidas

@angie-likes-to-read

@thatsassyhufflepuff​

@adajoemaya

@liliandodiaj

@unicornfairytail

@b1bbles

@luvly-writer

@geekmom3

@drinkfantasy​

@chickencouncilrep​

@justsomecreaturewandering​

@cruc1o​

@stickyfictioninwriting​

[vettelinyourarea]

hi there! i really like your works they are absolutely lovely! i'd like to request one for oscar piastri with enchanted by taylor swift but with his pov if it's fine. so enchanted basically about a guy who taylor was enchanted to meet but in this request i want it to be the opposite so it'll be oscar the one who was enchanted to meet the reader. the reader was a girl he went to school with and a kind of fall in love at first sight that he admired her silently as he never confessed his feelings to her. then it's been couple of years but he still trying to figure out how reader life is going even tho he's so busy with racing, how he missed those old school days knowing the fact the reader still likes to read the same as when he first met her in school library. he always remember her, his very first love and he always hope she's not in love with someone else. thank you!

enchanted - oscar piastri

genre: fluff

word count: 1,185

inspired by enchanted by taylor swift

warning: english is not my first language

thank you so much anon for the lovely request! i hope you enjoy it as much as i enjoy writing it 🫶

feel free to give me any feedback and sending in your requests!

-----------------

There I was again tonight

Forcing laughter, faking smiles, same old tired, lonely place

Walls of insincerity, shifting eyes and vacancy

Vanished when I saw your face

All I can say is, it was enchanting to meet you

Oscar never liked going to the school library, he always felt like it was the dullest place at school and would try to avoid it at all costs. That was until his friends forced him to join them and study there. “Come on Oscar, it’s not that bad,” one of his friends would say, trying to convince him.

So, there he was, sitting on a sofa available in the library with his laptop on his lap, trying to hold himself from falling asleep. Well, that was until he saw you, walking into the library and flashing the sweetest smile Oscar had seen to the nice librarian.

“Who is she?” he asked his friends.

“Oh, her? I have a class with her, she’s always here as long as it’s still open,” one of his friends would answer. 

And that’s how Oscar found himself going to the library every single school day.

Your eyes whispered, “Have we met?”

‘Cross the room your silhouette

Starts to make its way to me

The playful conversation starts

Counter all your quick remarks

Like passing notes in secrecy

It wasn’t until 3 months later that you two started talking with each other. Oscar still remembers that moment, it was a week before finals and the library was full of students trying to cram for the exams. He was sitting in his usual spot when you approached him that day, “Do you mind if I sit here? There is no empty spot left,” you said. All he could do was nod at you, not because he doesn’t want to talk to you, he was panicking. Is he supposed to start a conversation with you? Is he supposed to pretend like he didn’t know you?

“I saw you a lot in here,” you said, surprising him. Honestly, he was mostly surprised because you had initiated the first conversation, but he was also surprised that you noticed him. “Yeah, I’m here a lot these couple of months,” he said to you.

Let’s just say that it was the beginning of your beautiful friendship.

This night is sparkling, don’t let it go

I’m wonderstruck, blushing all the way home

I’ll spend forever wondering if you knew

I was enchanted to meet you

From the day you started talking, you and Oscar quickly become close friends. Having lunch together, hanging out with each other at the library, going to each other's houses, you named it. But still, Oscar never made any move to you that crossed the friendship line. Like many cliche romantic movies he watched with you, he was scared to make a move, he was scared to ruin the friendship he has with you.

Call him selfish for feeling this way, but he was okay with being just friends with you, as long as you don’t belong to anyone that is not him.

The lingering question kept me up

2 AM, who do you love?

I wonder ‘til I’m wide awake

And now I’m pacing back and forth

Wishing you were at my door

I’d open up and you would say, “Hey”

It’s been two years since he dropped out of school and it’s also been two years since he last saw you. Having to move away from his home to pursue his dream of becoming a racing driver. It was 2 AM in Italy and Oscar just couldn’t fall asleep, he had tried everything. Counting sheep and drinking warm milk, still, nothing works. It was all because of a stupid question Arthur had asked earlier, “Who is your first love?” Arthur asked. And Oscar knew it was just an innocent truth-or-dare question, but still, that one single question reminded him of you, and he couldn’t help himself but wonder how you are right now. How are you feeling? Do you still wear the same stupid glasses he bought for you? What book are you currently reading?

It’s been a year since he last have a real conversation with you. With his crazy schedule and the time difference, the only thing you two had said to each other this past year are birthday wishes toward each other. Oscar only knew that you got into your dream university because of your posts on your social media page.

And Oscar had lost count of how many times he wished he has the gut to call you.

This night is sparkling, don’t you let it go

I’m wonderstruck, blushing all the way home

I’ll spend forever wondering if you knew

“It’s been two years Oscar, just move on already,” his friends would say to him. And oh how much he wished that it could be that easy to move on and forget about you. Even after many blind dates he went, he couldn’t help himself but compare those people with you.

He couldn’t help but wonder how it would be to go on a real date with you.

This is me praying that

This was the very first page

Not where the story line ends

My thoughts will echo your name, until I see you again

Oscar has never been a religious person, so he never thought he would pray for anything. But here he is, praying every night to whoever would listen to him. Praying that he will see you again and that his last goodbye to you is not the end of his story with you. He would pray that his last goodbye to you is just the beginning of a beautiful, never-ending love story. 

He would pray that you are still waiting for him to come home, to come back to you.

Please don’t be in love with someone else

Please don’t have somebody waiting on you

It wasn’t until 3 years later that Oscar got the chance to come home for a while. Maybe it’s a silly little wish, but he really wants to see you again when he’s back. He still prays every night for you, that no one else except him is waiting for you, that you are not in love with anyone.

It was a rainy Sunday morning when Oscar visited a bookstore owned by his cousin. The place was not busy, only one or two people came by each time. It wasn’t until an hour after Oscar came when someone came into the store, Oscar not bothering to even look at the visitor as he was busy replying to business emails he had spent so long ignoring. It wasn’t until he heard a voice so familiar to him, greeting his cousin. A voice that belongs to someone who never left his mind even after all those years being apart. And he had convinced himself that he was dreaming, that he just missed you too much.

“Oscar, is that you?” your voice had called out.

Not until you are standing in front of him does he realize that it wasn’t just a dream.

[pinkworldone]

When you like boys that are short! (Yandere! Genshin!)

characters from:

part 1:

Mondstadt: Rosaria, Amber, Kaeya, Albedo

Liyue:, Shenhe, Xiangling, Zhongli, Xiao

part 2:

Inazuma: Ayato, Thoma, Gorou, Kazuha, Raiden Ei, Kuki Shinobu, Yae Miko

part 3:

Sumeru: Tighnari, Cyno, Alhaitham, Kaveh, Dehya, Candace, Nilou…

Im sorry for not translating the last part of Alhaitham!!! I write this in other account in Portuguese, but I forgot to translate

KAVEH

Kaveh is like his kind best friend who is always there for you, he made a point of making it clear in his friendship, after all, with your trust in him, you would certainly love him at some point. The conversation ends up being related to dating and your type of man, making you anxious, nervous and quite curious about what you would say.

“I like short boys... like Tighnari... but don't tell him!"

He is quite surprised when he hears you say that he likes lower boys, his heart hurts and he doesn't accept so well the fact that you like Tighnari more just for something so... frivolous. It bothers him, it hurts him, and he's hating it! Kaveh can't just change his height to meet his standards, he wants to, but he knows it's not possible.

Kaveh tries his best to make you change your patterns, showing that it's very superficial to like people just by the height, but it's difficult. Because he doesn't want to hurt or hurt you, maybe, maybe.... He needs to get rid of someone...

ALHAITHAM

Okay, your friendship is strange, because it is you who talks the most and starts the matters, but on that day, you were in love and admiring General Mahamatra from afar, of course he would notice and without stalling, Alhaitham asked why you were looking at him that much. That bothered him a lot, his look was not a simple admiration... no, there was something more. A "something" that he really wanted not to be true.

So hearing you say the painful words, "I like him", hurt him, but he did not express it on his face, always stoic and expressionless. The worst of all was hearing you say that you liked him mainly for something as superficial as height?! No, no, Alhaitham won't let you keep thinking like that! Don't you see how stupid you are?

Alhaitham told you, almost a speech or a lecture about how stupid your kind of man is, if you were sure you liked Cyno, now there is no more. He will use all the words, the possible manipulations to make you change your thinking, to like him and only him.

CANDACE

You, a student at the Academy, were passing through Vila Aaru and met Candace, she simply fell in love with you and was a little direct, asking if you liked someone in particular and the reason for it. Upon hearing that it was something only based on height, her face showed confusion and Candace asked if you were sure you liked Wanderer just for that reason. You had told her that he was rude and mean to almost everyone, and yet you liked him?!

She is using this as an argument for you to change your mind, based on how much you told her about this Wanderer guy. You said he was rude and mean, that's a great reason why you don't like him. Candace makes you believe that appearance and height do not matter, and yes, the kind personality like hers, not that of this guy named Wanderer!

DEHYA

Dehya always accompanied you when she went to see animated dance and accompanied you when you tried to imitate the steps, observing everything as a cute admiration for the dancer, Dehya was focused only on her fun and her smile while trying to dance too, "cute", she thinks with a smile. That's why she was a little surprised when you said you liked Nilou, she knew you admired the dancer, but not to the point of loving.

Dehya thought of several qualities that Nilou had, beauty, she was graceful in her steps, fun, cute, intelligent, empathetic, beautiful... Most related to personality, she expected everything except the fact of height. Dehya was surprised, looked at you as if asking "is this serious?". Dehya smiled at you and provoked you a little, but also tried to give you a sermon about liking people just by appearance or height, it's something stupid, you know?! In addition, you need an experienced person in the desert and strong just like Dehya! After all, you mainly explore the desert in your studies, Nilou does not know how to defend himself in the desert, but guess who knows?! Dehya!

[alonetimelover]

Pairings: Andrew Garfield x Photographer!Reader

Summary: In 2018 you met someone on a plane. You played board games and somehow that man stayed in your life. You've been pretty private until that man, love of your life spilled the guts during his interview with British GQ.

A/N: I watched Andrew's '10 essentials' video and somehow it produced this little Social Media story. Enjoy! Andrew articulates his thoughts very beautifully and philosophically, I tried to somehow embrace it.

2018

yourinstagram

♥️ 💬 ➤

liked by ynupdates, yourbestfriend and 56 282 others

yourinstagram london, im coming!!! can't wait to be back home and work in the uk for some time.

photo taken by the kind stranger that earlier lost to me in bananagrams. board games at its finest.

view all 16 292 comments

yourbestfriend can't wait to see you, bby!

ynupdates just wanted to say that i love all the photos you've done for the latest Vogue issue. i really admire your talent❤️

⤷ yourinstagram thank you, lovely! xx

vogue we're waiting for you, yn!

gqbritish we are too!

user33 is she the one that won the international portrait photographer of the year?

⤷ ynupdates yes, she is!

⤷ user55 is she under some agency or something? I'd love to contact her for some photoshoot

⤷ ynupdates i believe she's now working around magazines' photoshoots, hence the gqbritish and vogue commenting

——————————————————————————————

andregarfieldlasagna

♥️ 💬 ➤

liked by andrewmyhusband, andrewspiderman and 4 292 others

andrewgarfieldlasagna Andrew today in London!

view all 1 292 comments

andrewmyhusband who is he taking photo of, smiling this hard???

⤷ andrewbtch people that saw him said he was out with some woman, but they didn't know who she was

andrewspiderman man's looking soon good 🤤

garfieldmyman THE arm!!! and that smile?? I can't

agfan772 that is a very specific camera, isn't it rather professional?

⤷ andrewsgirl well, he has loads of money so he's probably buying the best

——————————————————————————————

2019

yourinstagram

♥️ 💬 ➤

liked by vogue, ynupdates, andrewgarfieldlasagna and 3 292 292 others

yourinstagram earlier this year i was invited by the incredible Gia Coppola to visit the set of her newest film, Mainstream. it is streaming online in early 2020, starring this guy, but also, and most importantly, absolutely talented and beautiful Maya Hawke.

view all 34 217 comments

mayahawke i love you, i love you, i love you

⤷ yourinstagram i love youuuu xx

gqbritish are we teasing our next cover star?

⤷ yourinstagram are we?

⤷ gqbritish we are.

andrewgarfieldlasagna omg!!!! 🤤 Andrew as a blond man looks sooo good

andrewbtch him covering gq??? and yn's taking photos? its gonna be great

ynscamera she's around andrew so much. on the latest vogue party she was seen leaving with him...

⤷ andrewscat she said in her one and only (for now) interview that she's great friends with him. i wouldn't be speculating about their private lives.

⤷ ynupdates she also said that he's one of the most down to earth celebrities she's ever met. but also that whenever she's around him, he's just andrew and you can't feel any arrogance or swankiness that is often associated with stars.

⤷ ynscamera they seem like great friends. good for them!

——————————————————————————————

2020

gqbritish

♥️ 💬 ➤

liked by yourinstagram, ynupdates, andrewgarfieldlasagna and 3 292 393 others

gqbritish Andrew Garfield, man that became someone he'd dreamed of being. This month we interviewed one of the most wanted actors and (let's face it) men on planet Earth. How his SpiderMan movies changed his life? Is he in the newest MCU production with Tom Holland and Tobey Maguire? How friendships within and outside the Hollywood established him as a person? Click the link in our bio to get the (philosophical) answers to those and some more questions.

styled by Andrew Garfield

photographed by yourinstagram

GQ British 2020

view all 183 303 comments

andrewspiderman 'im not a werewolf!' sure andrew...

andrewgarfieldlasagna the way he speaks about his friendship is something I want to be able to express. he loves all of those people so much. it's so sweet.

ynupdates 'I wouldn't say I have hundrenths of best friends. No. I've got a few. My men from when we were young and beautiful. My YN that - she's just the perfect friend, you know? You'd say there's no 'perfect' people, and before knowing her I would've agreed. But now? She knows exactly what you need, how to talk with you. She - she's like a ray of sunshine you await all day, you know? Just before the sunset, it happens. And then it stays with you till you close your eyes before falling asleep. That's YN and her presence.'

⤷ ynupdates 🥺 I can't. he talks about her so beautifully...

⤷ ynscamera i want him as my best friend

⤷ amdrewandyn i refuse to belief those two people aren't in love, there's no way

yourinstagram working with this man is an absolute pleasure. thank you, gq for the opportunity of capturing this man's charm and warmth. ❤️

⤷ gqbritish no, we thank YOU.

agfan918 what a beautiful man

andrewspiderman he's denying those spiderman rumours so much with the proofs laying on the table

⤷ andrewsupdates like andrew said 'it's a photoshop'

——————————————————————————————

andrewsmylove

♥️ 💬 ➤

liked by ynupdates and andrewgarfieldlasagna 2 102 others

andrewsmylove guysssssss... i met andrew fucking garfield. i met the love of my life. i can die happy now.

view all 1 007 comments

andrewsmylove before you all start asking questions let me say this 1) it was outside london 2) he was out shopping (he had so many shopping bags full of groceries) 3) this picture was taken with zoom - we kept at least 8 feet distance 4) i got to have a small convo with him 🥺

andrewgarfieldlasagna oh god, so happy for you, love! ❤️

andrewspiderman do you know how he's dealing with quarantine?

⤷ andrewsmylove he said 'im alright, thank you. it's different, its hard. but there are people that don't have the luxury of staying comfortably at home and do mostly nothing. that, that's unsettling. i won't complain about myself. we just need to pull through it and hopefully it'll quickly become a history'

⤷ andrewbtch why isn't it surprising that he's Firstly thinking of others? he's so thoughtful

⤷ andrewsmylove he is! he talked to me about the food bank that just opened near the place we met. Two of those bags he was carrying were going there.

andrewandyn so happy for you! do you know if he's alone?

⤷ andrewsmylove he's not! when we were saying our goodbyes i said that i hoped he wasn't alone. he said 'oh don't worry, darling. i’ve got my family with me'

andrewbtch is this man shopping wearing a suit???

——————————————————————————————

2021

yourinstagram

♥️ 💬 ➤

liked by ynupdates, vogue, gqbristish, andrewgarfieldlasagna and 3 292 394 others

yourinstagram little lynn says hello

view all 199 383 comments

vogue hello, little Lynn!!! 👶

gqbritish we can't wait to see her during your photoshoots!

yourbestfriend keeping this little one a secret was haaard! my beautiful goddaughter ❤️

mayahawke congratulations, baby!!

andrewspiderman congratulations!!

andrewandyn i didn't know she was dating anybody during quarantine

⤷ andrewbtch i was sure she was spending it with andrew

⤷ andrewsmylove maybe they're, you know...

⤷ andrewbtch if andrew is a dad it's the end. nah, i can't take it. he's sooo hot plus a dad??? nope.

——————————————————————————————

andrewgarfieldlasagna

♥️ 💬 ➤

liked by andrewspiderman, andrewandyn and 8 292 others

andrewgarfieldlasagna i can't belive it 🥺 after all those leaked photos, i still wasn't sure they'd bring andrew and tobey to be in this movie. andrews laying didn't help either. but im sooo happy. it was perfect

view all 1 292 comments

andrewspiderman when ned opened the first portal i recognised that lean man immediately, but when he pulled off the mask i screamed so loudly 😭

andrewandyn it was so nicely done. bringing them back didn't outshine Tom's performance. im so glad to be alive and seeing Andrew's wearing that suit for the third time

yourinstagram 'im not a werewolf' liaaaaaaaar

⤷ andrewsmylove omgggg hi Queen!

⤷ andrewbtch yn???? you didn't know???

⤷ yourinstagram nope. this is the cause of our divorce.

——————————————————————————————

⤷ andrewandyn divorce, babe. divorce.

⤷ andrewbtch poor andrew getting divorce from his best friend 😢

2022

andrewspiderman

♥️ 💬 ➤

liked by andrewgarfieldlasagna, andrewandyn, andrewsmylove and 12 292 others

andrewgarfieldlasagna Andrew in his '10 essentials' video with GQ told a story of him and YN meeting. ON A FLIGHT. PLAYING BOARD GAMES. 'We are married. She's the mother of my child.' I am so happy for them 🥺

view all 2 392 comments

andrewandyn I told all so. I was right!!!!

andrewspiderman DILF.

andrewbtch daddy? sorry. daddy? sorry. daddy?

andrewmyhusband well, time to change the username...

ynupdates they named their child after his mother 🥺

andrewsmybaby guys!!!! gq released an interview as well

⤷ andrewspiderman no way! do you have a link?

⤷ andrewsmybaby ofc! www./gq-magazine/.co.uk

——————————————————————————————

www./gq-magazine/.co.uk

Andrew Garfield's search for ultimate philosophy of his life

Living the last year in Andrew's skin would be both - fulfilling and terrifying. Golden Globe win, an Emmy nomination, re-playing SpiderMan - Andrew is speaking about the freedom he feels while choosing his next projects. Not excluding the new experience, new life he'd been living since last year.

Interviewer: I cannot not start this conversation with congratulating you.

Andrew: (blushing) Oh, thank you very much. Thank you.

I: You won a Golden Globe for your portrayal of Jonathan Larson in Tick, Tick...Boom!

A: Yeah. Super cool. Yes. It- you know how it can be with awards. I don't say I don't like them. It's pleasing to be recognised by the critics. But (scratching his beard) with this film it never was made for awards. Or I've never treated it like it. The storytelling of Jonathan's life, genius and impeccable talent was what I wanted to present as genuinely as it could be possible. Showing young and older people that this man did so much for theatre, for music, for people.

I: You definitely brought him to life.

A: That's- that's what I wanted. Thank you for acknowledging my pains.

I: Of course. I'd never deny someone's genius in acting.

A: No, no. Please no. I have this problem with that word. Genius is something that remarkable people could be blessed with. People making difference in the world, changing it for the better. No genius in my head. But like all words and feelings there is no universal meaning to them. So, in your understanding of the word: thank you.

I: You said about changing the world, but last year your world changed completely.

A: (smiling) Yes. Yes, it did.

I: You're a married man.

A: I am. I am married to the most delicate, understanding, caring, mesmerising woman I've ever met. I don't think my or your lifetime would be enough for me to express how much this woman changed my life. The- the absolute love I feel is one of the greatest feelings I've experienced. Such an eternal feeling.

I: It's not the only change, is it?

A: (laughs, while blushing) No.

I: Last year you welcomed your daughter in the world. You're a dad!

A: Yes! I finally can shamelessly make those ludicrous jokes. Even if not funny it's a dad joke.

I: How's that? Being a father?

A: Don't make me start. (laughs) At home, I have two rays of sunshine, beaming at me, making me absolutely awestruck. It's not helping when the little one is the picture of her mother - mind-bogglingly precious. It's- it's funny because my brother has kids. And whenever he spoke about how much he loved, appreciated and just - just valued them and his wife, I couldn't comprehend that. Love was always such a beautiful but mysterious feeling for me, somehow uncomprehending. And then YN came into my life. And little L was born. Those feelings just started burning my heart. My whole body. I still can't understand it. But it's so magical. You're really ready to do anything for that little human.

I: How are all the milestones?

A: Exciting. (tears up) Fuck. See? Oh God. Being so full of that love is- oh screw it. I'm done. (laughs)

I: What are your plans?

A: There's not many of them. We're trying to live the moment with YN, appreciate the joy that Universe gave us - little Lynn. We're living from one milestone to the other. From her first smile, through first prattle, first solo sitting situation to those attempts of the first word. I'm not the youngest, the big 40 is waiting around the corner, and experiencing those joys with my love is, I think, the essence of my existence.

I: Do you think without that you'd be lost?

I: Fullfilled.

A: I don't know. Maybe. Probably. It's a big thing to derive your happiness from other people, even if it's your absolute partner and child. It's dangerous. (Andrew thinks for a moment.) That's why I surf. It clears my mind, brings me my own, autarcik joy. It's something that is only mine. YN isn't a fan of surfing, but accepts and supports my endeavours. So to answer your question, without them my existence wouldn't feel pure. They make me complete.

A: Yes. It's strange getting to know in your late 30s that you lack so much. That your life could be so different if you met that on person earlier or not at all. There always was that perpetual search in me, for meaning of life, for love, for - you know - answers. Why, why why. There still is that search, but now I can just leave one room and go look for my wife and talk to her about it, search together. Or I can find my daughter, hug her and speak to her, sing. And even though she, for now, only can be a blabbery little human, the search is united.

I: What do you wish for now, in your life?

A: Like a dad would say, health. (laughs) My dad has so fun with calling me out on sounding just like him. I do. I do sound just like him. That's what fathers do apparently.

Magazine GQ

Andrew Garfield

Photographed by YN Garfield

——————————————————————————————

yourinstagram

♥️ 💬 ➤

liked by mayahawke, andrewgarfieldlasagna, gqbritish, yourbestfriend and 5 202 292 others

yourinstagram exhausted (the best) father after chasing his one-year-old daughter around for the whole day.

1461 days with you and it still amazes me how my love for you can only grow.

view all 140 292 comments

yourbestfriend i know im late, but im still babysitting my little baby. youll have the whole hause to yourselves

mayahawke give my baby L a kiss!

⤷ yourinstagram be quick. lil lynn is ready to sleep and parents are ready to play Bananagrams

⤷ andrewsmylove bananagrams??? the game that they played the first time they met??? 🥺

andrewspiderman 4 years and a day??? they've been together for so long

⤷ andrewsmylove not really a day. it's fu 4 years - leap year has 366 days - so it's right

andrewbtch i still can't belive he's a father

ynupdates happy anniversary! ❤️

andrewgarfieldlasagna happy anniversary, lovies!!

[theninthdoor]

pac || what do they wanna tell you?

🕸 think of a specific person, take 3 deep breaths and pick one of the piles below to get a message from them! this should give you an idea of what's going through your person's mind right now & what they would like to tell you in this moment. 🕸 take only what resonates and leave the rest! if you feel like the pile you've initially picked doesn't really apply to the person/situation you're thinking of, it's OK to pick another one. 🕸 remember that this is all for entertainment purposes and that free will still exists. don't feel pressured to do anything you don't want to, just because your person thinks this or that, ok? 🕸 enjoy, my friends!

💭 pile 1 || cards: strength, two of cups, the hierophant, 2. Yin, 27. Exchanging Gifts

Before I even started shuffling, I kept feeling that the people who are picking pile 1 are the most introverted, quiet and/or sensitive of everyone who's coming across this post. I actually left this pile for last because it was so still and silent, while the others had so much information jumping out of them already (before I got their spreads, I mean).

So, my sweet pile 1, the person you're thinking of has a lot of appreciation and admiration for you. They have noticed how kind and charming you are, and see you as someone they would like to keep close going forward. Your person finds you truly, truly endearing… You're not only beautiful on the outside but your heart, too, is made of gold. If you haven't spoken to this person yet, they would love you to make that move towards them. You two fit very well into each other's lives and, regardless of the kind of relationship this would end up being, it would still be a solid, balanced and close connection. On the other hand, if they are someone you're already friendly with, they just want to let you know that you mean so, so much to them! This is a relationship they cherish a lot, and are hoping lasts for a lifetime. In this case, though, your person also wants you to know that they are always there for you and genuinely wish you the best life can offer. They will always support you no matter what; when you're happy, they are happy; when you're sad, they feel it too. Don't ever think you're alone, ok? They are right there, ready to help you and care for you. Lastly, if the person you're thinking of is someone you're romantically interested in, whenever you're ready, make the move, pile 1! They feel the same way as you! You may be lacking the confidence or certainty to approach them, which is likely due to what we saw early on - your introversion; you being naturally quiet and shy, and/or quite sensitive -, but this is a safe connection for you to invest in, pile 1, alright? The person you're thinking of won't judge or hurt you, and rest assured that their heart is in the right place. (The same applies for friendships, of course! It's OK for you to approach your person - they are honest, compassionate and reliable people.)

💭 pile 2 || cards: seven of cups rx, ten of swords, king of wands, 32. Here and Now, 39. New Life

For this pile, I feel like some of you might have recently moved to a new city, school or university, or workplace. You may be trying your best right now to romanticize your life, either because you feel like it's the only way you can bear the changes or because you're actually using this opportunity to build a whole new persona (without the flaws or embarassments of the past). Either way, the person you're think of, dear pile 2, is saying "You don't need to fake it. I know exactly what kind of person you are, and I like it a lot!". Your person is very, very aware of what is going on through you head right now, and they know exactly why you have been acting in a particular way as of late - not only because it is clearly unnatural, but also due to the fact that they are pretty intuitive people, too, and picked up on something that wasn't quite right here. Whether you have known them before or not, they want you to drop the act and show your truest self to them - not the perfect character you've built, not the person you think you should be; the real you! They want you to be present in the moment and to enjoy your real, daily life as it is. You're actually blocking a lot of blessings and good connections and experiences because you're too focused on the looks of things; on how it ideally should be. You're forcing yourself to do certain things, to look a certain way or to behave in a particular manner, and that shouldn't have to happen for you to enjoy how you are living or to be proud of what/who you have to show your new friends/colleagues/classmates. Go with the flow, accept the changes and stay positive about the whole thing. If this happened - if you were pulled away from what was familiar to you - it's because it was needed in order for you to grow and prosper! Getting used to it, growing into it, shouldn't be forced and neither should it be a struggle. It's OK to want to build a new life and persona that we desire, but we can't erase our whole selves and past life while at it. We live, grow and evolve; we're not a whiteboard that you can just sweep clean to write something new on there. Essentially, pile 2, your person wants you to embrace who you were before these changes, to share that with them, and to stop worrying so much about having the "ideal life" and being the "perfect person".

💭 pile 3 || cards: seven of swords, justice rx, seven of cups, 20. Imagine, 37. Never-ending Story, 32. Here and Now

My dear pile 3, we have a stalker in your hands… Either you are the stalker (which I think only applies to a very few of the people who picked this pile) or someone has been keeping tabs on your every move lately. The person you're thinking of has been keeping a very close watch on you; daydreaming about what could've been or what could still be. For some, this connection ended on a sour note, with you walking away from them after some sort of disagreement or situation that didn't sit right with you. If that's the case, your person is trying to find a way back into your life, for sure! They have been looking for every little door of opportunity that can excuse their comeback. Your social media is likely to be the means through which they are staying up to date with what you do and, if you're posting pics with some new people, they'll certainly go creep on their pages as well. If you are the stalker, however, they are already aware of you and are actually thinking of confronting you about it. I don't see them being upset or creeped out, at all, though! As I said before, your person does want to find a way into your life - in this case, it is because they are also curious about you or because they miss you. Whatever has happened in the past involving the two of you, my dear pile 3, the person you're thinking of wants to let you know that "things weren't exactly as it seemed". You got the wrong impression of them, somehow, or of the situation. I feel like this person, although they appear quite extroverted and open, they keep a lot to themselves and it takes a while for anyone to get to know the real them. The person you're seeing or thinking of, isn't exactly the person they truly are, deep down… there's so much more to it. And your understanding of what might've happened in the past isn't totally right, either. Finally, if you feel confident enough to do it, your person would be more than happy to have you approach them first; to have you reveal yourselves to them or open that door for them to come back into your life. Stay open to listen to their side of the story - it might surprise you.

decks used || Tarot of the New Vision & Wisdom of the Oracle Divination Cards

(Disclaimer: Based on current energies. All is alleged and for entertainment purposes only.)

[sotwk]

To the honorable Elvenking and Elvenqueen (whoever would like to reply),

My boyfriend of 3 years and I broke up recently, and while we still both want to be friends, I find myself resentful and unwilling to see him. Am I wrong for that? Should I attempt to force through my resentment?

Respectfully yours,

Anonymous

I hên nín*,

Three turns around the sun is a long time to place your heart in another’s keeping. It would therefore be a painful thing to sever such a bond, whether the choice came from you willingly or not. I am sorry for any sorrow you may be feeling, and I pray you afford yourself extra kindness and consideration.

In all partnerships, one half will never feel exactly the same as the other. It is not wrong or abnormal to feel exactly as you have described. Moving a relationship from a place of high intimacy back to a normal friendship places a great strain on your mind and heart. 

While your desire to remain friends is admirable and not impossible to achieve, this is a challenge that I would advise you not to take on while in recovery. Pushing yourself to engage with your former love before you are truly ready may only cause you to act with bitterness, and I do not believe you wish that for him.

Long ago, when the King and I came to an impasse in our courtship and were forced to part ways, I could not in my grief bear even the sight of him. Thranduil felt differently and could scarcely let me leave, but he did so for my sake. Many years later, after we had the time and space to grow and better ourselves, we reunited as friends, and discovered that the separation had prepared us as individuals to become one.

Whatever the future holds for you, dear one, right now you must focus on your own well-being. Take comfort, for nothing ever ails the heart that time cannot heal. Do not deprive yourself of this important medicine by forcing wellness. Take as many days as you need, and decide on a path once pain will no longer be an influence. A true friend would respect this need. 

His Grace sends you his regards and hopes, as I do, that you find peace and return to good spirits very soon. 

Cuio vae**, 

Maereth

Elvish: *My child / **Be/live well

This "Dear Elvenking/Elvenqueen" game is part of SotWK's Summer Campfire Sleepover 2024. (Requests accepted only on July 11-15, 2024.)

ANONS ARE ACCEPTED for this game ONLY.

How to Participate: Need advice or a chance to vent over a problem? Send a quick letter to King Thranduil and/or Queen Maereth, and one of them will respond with some loving parental wisdom!

[jigujellee]

ATTENTION -> got a secret, can you keep it? [ request: Jennie and Y/N (a backup dancer) relationship is a secret. Jennie found out on one of Y/N's friend that another dancer is having a crush on Y/N. Jennie got jealous and it's up to you what will happen next. Hoping for a fluff ending ]

jennie x reader fluff w very, very minor angst (dw tho) word count: 2.8k warnings: none

a/n: thank you for this request! it was really fun to work on :D i'm not gonna lie tho, i kind of struggled with the ending a bit bc i really just wanted to get it done ljdkhfaf but alas, here she is! this is slightly proofread, so pls don't mind any mistakes but i hope you enjoy it nonetheless <3

you’ve always admired private, lowkey relationships.

as you scroll through pinterest and instagram, you often come across photos of couples who don’t show their faces but they make it very clear that they’re together. the notion of being private but not a secret was something you’ve always wished to try with someone.

and for 4 years, you somehow managed to keep a private and secret relationship from the entire world.

when you first started as a backup dancer for yg’s best selling, record breaking, and globally known girl group otherwise known as blackpink, you knew that a relationship with the any of the members would and should not go any further than a work-friendly relationship. but that idea was thrown right out the window when the jennie kim, blackpink’s main rapper and lead vocalist, had made her move on you the moment you stepped into the dance studio for the first time. she was starstruck by the way your body easily flowed to the music, hitting every beat with such precision and power. what started out as just being coworkers evolved into a lovely friendship, and eventually into a relationship that you never knew was even possible in the first place.

but you were also aware that dating an idol had its drawbacks.

though you weren’t too big on pda, it would’ve still been nice to go up to jennie and give her a hug or a kiss on the cheek during work hours, especially when you knew she was exhausted after practicing non-stop. however, you were aware that your position as their backup dancer and the fact that you’re a girl dating a girl (wow shocker) would cause an uproar amongst the public. knowing this, you restrained yourself and maintained a strictly professional relationship between you and the girls. outside of the yg building, you and jennie are inseparable but once you step foot inside, all interactions with her cease unless there’s something to discuss about work. it’s been nearly 2 years since their last comeback, so you’ve been able to have jennie all to yourself; you’ve travelled together and attended her other schedules with her without causing too much suspicion. but now that the comeback has been confirmed and announced, it was time to return to work and act like jennie was nothing more than your senior.

you weren’t gonna deny that it felt good to be back in the studio again. you’ve always had a passion for dancing and you were glad that you could pursue something you actually enjoyed. not only did it pay well and provided good benefits, but it allowed you to meet the love of your life despite having to keep it a secret from the world.

when you walk into the studio, your eyes are met with mirrors that stretch across all the walls, speakers sitting in the corners beside a computer and sound control system - it all felt so comfortable to you. but when four familiar faces come in just minutes after you do, then that’s when everything really starts to feel like home. you bite back a smile when you make eye contact with your girlfriend, who does the same thing towards you. she always managed to make the simplest outfits look expensive. you couldn’t help but stare at how her white tank top accentuates her abs, and how she managed to make a pair of black jeans look designer. while you did your stretches, your gaze constantly shifts to her every once in a while but your view is soon obstructed when your friend and coworker, dany, shows up in front of you.

“hi y/n! it’s so good to see you again. i haven’t heard from you as much, how are you?”

“hi dany, i’ve been good. i decided to take a bit of a break from social media, just really take the time to wind down and relax” you say as you bend over and stretch to reach your legs. dany just laughs and gently rests her hand on your back.

“you didn’t miss me at all?” dany jokes, or so you thought. but you responded in a jokingly matter anyway.

“not at all, i was actually glad to be away from you” you smile.

“hey, you’re so mean!” she starts playfully hitting you, and you laugh as you try to get away from her until you’re interrupted by the sound of the choreographer clapping their hands together, indicating that it was time to start practicing.

“time to get started everyone!”

-

“okay, let’s take 10 then we’ll run it from the top”

it’s been a month since you’ve started rehearsing for the girls’ comeback, and you had to admit that you don’t have as much stamina as you used to. when the music stops and the choreographer calls for a 10 minute break, you attempt to catch your breath while desperately trying to find your water bottle from your bag, but it’s nowhere to be found. jennie notices you rummaging through your bag and grabs her own bottle to give to you, but to unfortunately, dany beats her to it.

“you should really bring your own water, y/n. you always finish mine”

“i never ask for yours just in case there’s any poison, but thanks” you joke. dany fake scoffs and acts offended but she’s glad nonetheless. after nearly inhaling all of the water, you felt a drop run down your mouth and you lift your shirt to wipe it off, along with the sweat that was drenching your face. instead of pulling up the collar of your shirt like a normal person would, you grab the hem and lift it up to expose your toned abdomen. dany’s eyes immediately gloss over your lower body and jennie doesn’t miss the way her eyes widen and sparkle at the sight.

“damn y/n, have you been working out these last 2 years? you look so good,” dany compliments. she manages to swiftly slide her hand over your abdomen, causing you to flinch and immediately back away.

“hey, watch it! i’m ticklish there,” you defend. despite your protests, dany chases you around the studio to try and tickle you. you fail to notice a pair of cat eyes that were burning onto you and dany as the two of you ran around like children.

jennie’s chest becomes a bit heavier and she subconsciously tightens her grip on the bottle that was still in her hand. she’s noticed how awfully close dany was sticking to you during practices, and it was becoming hard to watch. she bites the inside of her cheek, almost hard enough to bleed until another backup dancer approaches her.

“jeez, what a bunch of children. imagine being in your late 20s and you still try to get your crush’s attention by chasing them around and trying to tickle them” the dancer says, clicking their tongue and shaking their head almost disapprovingly. but nothing they said registered in jennie’s head until the word “crush” was mentioned.

“crush? what do you mean?”

“oh didn’t you know? dany has liked y/n for some time now. me personally, i think they’d make a pretty cute couple. a very loud couple but still cute, don’t you think?”

jennie’s eyes nearly roll at the thought of you and dany being together. “i don’t think dany is y/n’s type in my opinion”

“well, dany says that y/n is definitely her type so i’m sure she’d find a way to make it work”

the cat eyed girl clenches her jaw. what the hell was she even supposed to say to that? it’s not like she could explicitly defend your relationship since no one knew you were together. but wow, did it bug her to her core. is this what other people were thinking? did other people think that you and dany would be a great couple?

dany still tried to cling onto you and you desperately tried to get away from her, while jennie didn’t want to bother looking in your direction for the remainder of practice. the members, however, immediately noticed the change in jennie’s mood. when another 10 minute break was called, they decided to intervene.

“hey grumpy, what’s with the face? you look like you’re about to murder someone,” rosé says to her bandmate, who’s been trying to tie her shoes for the last 3 minutes or so.

“it’s nothing, i just really wanna finish and go home so i could sleep. i’m getting really tired already” jennie brushes it off. the other three girls all eye each other, knowing she wasn’t telling the truth but they silently agreed to not pry any further and just give her supportive pats and rubs on her back.

while waiting for the choreographer to get back, another backup dancer takes over the sound system and puts on attention by newjeans just to fool around and freestyle a little bit. the studio is suddenly filled with cheers and screams as a number of dancers made their way to the middle of the dance floor. when the chorus comes on, jennie rushes to the center without even thinking and starts dancing. the girls scream loudly as they cheer on their friend, who was literally sulking not even a few minutes ago.

“okaaay, get it jennie!” lisa shouts out. jisoo and rosé pull out their phones to record her and you do the same for you to watch later and laugh about it with jennie. you watched your girlfriend through your phone screen as she danced with so much energy, and when you look up from your phone, her eyes are already on you. jennie’s gaze doesn’t falter from yours as she continued to move to the music, lip syncing along to the lyrics.

one thing’s for sure

i know you’re the one

you got me looking for attention

the smile on your face doesn’t leave until dany makes her way to the centre and takes the spotlight away from jennie. you watched jennie stop dancing and noticed how annoyed she looked.

“watch me y/n!” dany screams over the music as she starts to dance, which caused jennie to slowly back away towards the girls. you put your phone down and just smile as you watched dany dance, who eventually starts making her way towards you and even had the audacity to press her back against you but you push her away while laughing nervously. in the background, jennie watches the whole thing unfold and if she was annoyed before, well now she was fuming. she hates it when other people try to make their move on you or when they're just too close to you for her liking, but what pisses her off the most is knowing that she can’t rightfully claim what’s hers.

practice continued for practically the whole day until late into the night. once it was finally over, the two of you met at jennie’s house and you noticed she was being very quiet for your liking.

“jen, you alright? you haven’t sa-”

“what do you think about dany? be honest with me”

“babe, you don’t need to worry about dany. she’s just really clingy, that’s all”

“you’re not answering my question. is there something you’re not telling me?”

“no no no no, it’s not like that. what do i think about her? well, she’s cool, very talkative for the most part but i think she’s a great dancer and i have a lot to learn from her”

“do you think she likes you?”

“where did you even get that idea, love?”

“people think you two would make a good couple, so it was just a thought i guess”

“that’s only what people think, but it’s not the truth”

“you don’t know that”

“okay, fine, i don’t know that. but what i do know is that even if dany does like me, it doesn’t mean anything,” you say before making your way towards a pouty jennie and wrapping your arms around her slender waist.

“i’ve known you for 6 years and i’ve been with you for 4. i had to watch sleazy photographers, fansites, and sasaengs ogle you up and down whenever you’re up on a stage and i always just want to go up there and claim you as mine. i know it’s hard to keep hiding in the dark babe, but i can guarantee you that i wouldn’t want someone else in your place”

jennie looks up at you with a pout still evident on her face, her eyes somewhat filled with tears but not enough to start falling.

“but wouldn’t things be easier if you were with dany?”

“i don’t need things to be easy, i need it to be you. it always needs to be you”

jennie pulls you for a long and warm embrace, and the two of you stay like that as you gently sway back and forth. jennie’s ear is on your chest and she listens to your heart beating so gently, and a smile slowly creeps onto her face knowing that your heart only beats for her. you both knew it would be difficult once you decided to be together, but with jennie, everything was definitely worth it and you'd do absolutely anything to keep the woman in your arms all to yourself.

-

you’re back in the studio the following morning, and you can tell jennie is in somewhat of a better mood compared to yesterday, but it changes yet again once dany walks through the door.

“good morning y/n baby!”

“ew, don’t call me that”

“awww, does my baby not like the name?”

you fake gagged and try to laugh it off as you change into a more comfortable pair of shoes for practice. dany rolls her eyes and sits down beside you, resting her head on your shoulder.

“you smell really good y/n”

“i know i do” you dryly reply as you try to tie your shoe. when you finish tying the last knot, you bring your head up and dany takes this chance to try and plant a kiss on your cheek but you push her away immediately.

“dany, what are you doing? we’re at work”

“oh come on y/n, one kiss shouldn’t hurt right?”

jennie gets up from where she’s sitting and makes her way towards you two. the studio suddenly goes quiet as they watch her march from one side to the other, silently wondering what jennie was gonna say next.

“hey dany, how about you learn to respect people’s personal space?and while you're at it, try not to go for people who are happily in a relationship” jennie snides.

“huh? what are you talking about? y/n isn’t in a relationship”

“yes she is”

dany gets bold and challenges jennie, crossing her arms and making her way towards the cat eyed girl but jennie doesn't back down.

“oh yeah? with who?”

“with me,” jennie says sternly as she pushes pass dany and grabs you by the collar to plant a kiss on your lips for everyone to see. when she pulls away, you look at her in shock and you whisper, “jen, what are you doing? we’re gonna get in trouble!”

you back up slightly, waiting for your girlfriend to explain her irrational behaviour but before she could speak, the girls' manager shouts out in joy which gave both you and jennie a confused look on your face.

“ha! i told you! you all owe me $50!,” he shouts as the rest of the staff groan and start fishing money out of their wallets.

“wait, you guys made a bet? on what?”

“on who would be the first one to expose your relationship. everyone thought it’d be you but i had a strong feeling it would be jennie, and i was right!” he exclaims in glee.

“so wait, we’re not in trouble?”

“well you two have been doing a fantastic job at keeping it a secret from the public, so we agreed to let it continue and we’d only intervene if things got out of hand”

“but how did all of you find out in the first place if we never said anything?” jennie asked. the manager and a few staff members pointed at lisa, who puts her hands up in defense.

“okay hey wait a minute, before all of you start pointing fingers i just wanna say for the record, jennie’s not exactly the quietest person when she’s on the phone with y/n”

jennie playfully glares at lisa, but you just stood there smiling. you thought you were being discrete about your relationship with jennie in fear of getting in trouble with the company, but as it turns out, people already knew and supported you in secret. you turn to your girlfriend who was ready to beat lisa up for exposing her, and you can't help but plant a soft kiss on her cheek because you didn’t have to completely hide your relationship anymore. the studio is filled with oohs and awws from everyone around you, causing jennie's cheeks to show a slight tint of pink.

“alright alright, enough chit chat! let’s get back to work everyone, we have a lot of preparations” the manager finally says after receiving his winnings from the bet.

before practice officially began, jennie pulls you in for a kiss once again.

“keep up the good work my favourite dancer”

[d-criss-news]

Darren Criss and Helen J Shen To Star In MAYBE HAPPY ENDING On Broadway This Fall

From Skid Row to 44th Street! This morning it was announced that Darren Criss and Helen J Shen will star in the Broadway premiere of the new romantic musical comedy Maybe Happy Ending, with music by Will Aronson, lyrics by Hue Park and a book by both Aronson and Park. Michael Arden is set to direct the new musical which will begin previews Wednesday September 18, 2024 ahead of an opening night on Thursday, October 17, 2024 at the Belasco Theatre.

Dez Duron will make his Broadway debut along with Shen with the production. Additional casting will be announced at a later date.

Inside a one-room apartment in the heart of Seoul, Oliver (Criss) lives a happily quiet life listening to jazz records and caring for his favorite plant. But what else is there to do when you’re a Helper-Bot 3, a robot that has long been retired and considered obsolete? When his fellow Helperbot neighbor Claire (Shen) asks to borrow his charger, what starts as an awkward encounter leads to a unique friendship, a surprising adventure, and maybe even...love? Winner of the Richard Rodgers Award, Maybe Happy Ending is the offbeat and captivating story of two outcasts near the end of their warranty who discover that even robots can be swept off their feet. Maybe Happy Ending is a fresh, original musical about the small things that make any life worth living.

Maybe Happy Ending was written in both Korean and English-language versions. The Korean-language version opened in December of 2016 at DaeMyung Culture Factory in Seoul and subsequently won six Korean Musical Awards including Best Musical. The English-language version was awarded the 2017 Richard Rodgers Production Award and had its U.S. premiere at the Alliance Theatre in Atlanta in the 2019-2020 season.

“I am so very happy to be joining the enchanting world of Maybe Happy Ending,” said Darren Criss. “It’s already such a special piece, but all the more exciting for me to get to build it for Broadway with people I admire - namely my ol’ pal Michael Arden, a visionary I’ve been wanting to work with for longer than I care to admit, as well as the very talented Will Aronson and Hue Park. Their inventive book and music, combined with Michael’s direction, is exactly the kind of alchemy that gets me most excited about what musical theater can be. I can’t wait for audiences to take part in this wonderfully original theatrical experience, and behold a story from a future that explores one of the most ancient questions of humanity- why love?”

Dane Laffrey will design the Set and Additional Video, while Costume Design is by Clint Ramos, Lighting Design is by Tony Award-nominee Ben Stanton, Sound Design is by Peter Hylenski, Video Design by George Reeve, Deborah Abramson is the Music Supervisor and John Yun will be the Music Director. Casting is by Telsey & Co, Craig Burns, CSA and Justin Scribner is the Production Stage Manager.

For more information please visit: www.maybehappyending.com

[lanaxoxoxoxoxox]

SO. ANOTHER. steal my girl by 1D.

this could probably be fem!reader

ranboo and reader have known eachother since they were about 15/16, and he's ALWAYS loved her. ALWAYS. once they finally start dating, maybe once they're both 17/18, ranboo starts steaming, chat says stuff along the lines of "y/n could do better" or "she deserves better than ranboo fr" or "i could get y/n EASY" so ranboo goes out of his way to say "no one can steal my girl, nor does she even WANT any of you." SOMETHIN ALONG THOSE LINES!!

literally SCREAMED at this bro , you have no idea

, my girl !!

☆ ranboo x fem!reader

warnings: she/her pronouns, fem reader, chat being a dick, protective ran (drives me crazy /pos), ran + y/n are both 19 in this fic, ran's pov entire fic ☽

☆ a/n: utterly obsessed with this ask !! lovely @heiijoy actually sent me a whole bunch of other amazing fic ideas in our messagesand i was screaming and giggling and kicking my feet the entire time !! yall dont know how excited am i abt being able to write this and have such amazing moots oml

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

ranboo pov

I've always admired Y/n. I did then, and I still do.

Since I first saw her at the locker next to me in sophomore year, something just, clicked inside of me. At first, I originally saw her as a locker-hallway crush only, until classes got changed due to a teacher leaving. Suddenly, the hallway-locker crush turned into same-classes crush. For some odd reason, the teachers would also often pair us in the same partners and groups, and we would sit near or next to each other sometimes. I kind of just played it off as pure luck on my part.

I would see y/n in about 90% of my classes, but we were assigned permanent partners one day in English for the rest of the year. I got to talk way more to her in class, and we even hung out a few times. I eventually did get her number and we started to hang out more, but not just for study sessions. We eventually had a really strong friendship, but I still admired her.

Time skip, but one of my friends who was dating y/n's best friend told me that y/n actually liked me back, and she had for a while. At first I didn't believe him, until y/n texted me to meet up at the stargazing hill we always went to and told me she liked me.

After that, we started dating. I started my Twitch and YouTube around then, and started blowing up very quickly. Y/n was always there to support me and what I wanted to do, and I was eventually invited to the Dream SMP, which also quickly raised my following and reputation even more. When I got an invitation from Toby and Tommy to meet them in the UK, Y/n also came with me. She's always been at my side, streamer or not.

present day

"'Just Talking streams never end well'? Damn, you guys are mean!" I said, laughing and flipping off the camera.

I spinned my chair slightly to the left, focusing my eyes on the other monitor that showed StreamLabs and the chat. I scanned my eyes over the chat, and a few messages caught my eye.

user4531: hi everyone!

user78787877: y/n could do better tbh

ranboofan69: @user78787877 frrr she deserves more than ranboo

rainbow4eva: i love your shirt!

socoolfan: @ranboofan69 yeah i could get y/n SO EASY bro

I sighed loudly enough for the microphone to pick up. I looked back over to chat and saw moderators turn off chat to send a warning message and put it chat onto "emotes only" mode.

I laughed. "The fact some of you guys are so confident in stealing y/n from me is actually very funny." I stared into the webcam. "Y/n is my girl, nor does she even want any of you all."

Let's just say y/nboo and that clip was trending on Twitter for a little while.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

kinda a short but fic but i hope u guys liked !! thanks @heiijoy for the lovely req <3

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love u all mwah xoxoxox