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fallout-4-reactions · 8 months

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My Commander Shepard. I know her surname is spelled wrong everywhere. My docs won’t have it. Please heed the warning and tags. Under a “keep reading” due to long post.

“…Rudimentary creatures of flesh and bone—,” The cold glare of Sovereign’s voice invaded, unexpectedly, awakening Shepherd with a start.

Sovereign still disregarded her as if he found her very presence to be an insult, as if she was still there, right in front of it.

The last remnants of its echo whispered to her fear as she tried to remember where she was.

“…touch my mind.”

As her breathing eased, her muggy brow frowned, her mind confused.

She was dead. She shouldn’t be anywhere. A shiver ran down her spine as she froze, waiting… waiting, wait—

Then she heard it—a shaken but unmistakable beat of her heart. As it broke through her eyes widened and when she finally felt it, she could have just sobbed. It couldn’t be…

Thump, thump, thump. How could she have forgotten that she was alive again? Fuck, again? She shouldn’t be saying that.

But against all odds, the legend known as Commander Shepherd did indeed die—and that meant the end—until it wasn’t. Learning the hard way that the laws of death could now be broken, as if its importance meant nothing.

Well, a matter of fact, it does.

For it gives peace to tired, tortured souls, just like hers.

It is one of the few things that all species in this galaxy actually share, a universal and unspoken rule—that life is hard, but there’s always an end. No one needed a translator to understand peace.

And whether that is seen by some as a curse, or maybe a little bit of kindness, death comes for us all.

“…No one’s getting out alive.” She muttered bitterly to the room. And she had made peace with that a long time ago.

The promise of its permanence, however, was now in question. Because a once dead woman was now alive, listening to her own mind repeat a warning she thought she’d forgotten.

But despite the shitty cards life had dealt her, she wouldn’t. Not when there were people she cared about.

Careful not to make a sound, she steadied herself to make the long journey from her bed to the bathroom. Well, it wasn’t that long. But she couldn’t quite believe it just yet—and her doubt made it hard to move.

And then she heard it again, in a new kind of silence. Her now steady heartbeat. It almost scared her.

Fuck. She really was alive.

Breathing out slowly, Raven had to remind herself of this as she reluctantly approached her reflection in the mirror.

The bathroom's dim light just bright enough to reveal it was indeed her staring back. And while most of the galaxy saw the perfect image of a hero, she saw herself for what she truly was… a mere human.

A human who had outlived her mistakes. A human who was not supposed to exist anymore. For she had died two years ago… and that’s where her story should have ended. Whether she was needed or not.

Dying wasn't so unexpected, given her role in life. The unexpected part was having to face those flaws again, through no choice of her own.

It just all seemed pretty fucked up to her.

And yet that was almost overpowered by the memory of Virmire and its warnings. Where she learned of Sovereign—of the reapers.

The consequences of that day could still be felt.

To the Reapers, she was apparently nothing. And yet, according to Cerberus, she was the answer to everything.

The truth was Shepherd didn’t know what to believe. All she could hope for was that she found the strength to fight the reality that monster had promised. She just couldn’t lose herself getting there. So as much as she knew she couldn’t—or rather shouldn’t—abide by terrorists, she knew they didn’t matter in comparison to such a future.

Because for all its flaws, her home was worth saving.

Her, on the other hand, she wasn’t so sure about.

Then Shepherd noticed it. The scar that ruled the left side of her temple. It continued down her neck and eventually ended at the base of her spine.

Remembering the lead of the Lazarus Project’s words, they had built her completely as she once was.

She flinched. Of all the scars to keep, why keep just this one?

Its only purpose was to seemingly forever remind her of her origins—and why she had to leave it all behind. Shepard reached up, hesitant at first, but eventually laced a single finger over it.

Then it clicked. This scar… it defined her. It was her journey. From beginning to end.

Well, shit.

Her eyes fell—a mirror does not lie. Here she was. And the reapers were coming.

She looked back up to see her reflection slowly reveal her realisation as the dread settled in.

After all, who else could claim they had played death's game, lost, and brought their way back out anyway?

No one. Because that's not how things worked. Death was supposed to be permanent! Despite this, she was here, proven wrong, and all she could feel was resentment. For death had done little to heal her insecurities it would seem, and nor had Cerberus. Because here she was, billions of credits later and still broken. This much was evident as she contemplated what she hated more: finding herself here, or knowing she was back at square one.

She couldn't help but stare at the emptiness the mirror offered her, distracting the issue, both Shepard's sneering at how pointless her problem was.

Nothing changed as the walls that she'd helped her mind build over the years repelled her command with ease. Raven’s expression eventually fell, showing her despair as her cold gaze searched her features one last time. Realising in her haste to protect others, she had forgotten about herself. And shame eventually showed itself the victor. She forced herself to look away. Frustration pulling at her edges. How could she be this daunting woman of pure courage again if she couldn't even look at her own reflection anymore? Let alone convince a sceptical galaxy the reapers' threat was real.

After all, they were the reason she was back, and ever since, Raven had been suffering from a rare phobia called Eisoptrophobia. Its cause—and even knowledge of it—wasn't known to her; it was almost as mysterious as the organisation that had brought her back. And like with them, Shepard had no answers. And yet everyone—minus the odd few—expected her to.

Eisoptrophobia is an irrational fear of mirrors and what they hold. And in this case, as in all others, this one held her. Just her. A reminder of how alone she truly was; a reminder that meant she was indeed alive again.

Or maybe she just hated the reflection that stared back. It was broken and scarred and not some perfect, enduring soldier who could weather any storm. She was as fucked up by her mistakes as any other and here was the proof staring right back at her. Even rebuilding her entirely had not been enough for her to escape that painful truth.

Oh, how she wished a certain someone was here. Pulling her away when she couldn't find the strength to do it herself.

That was her downfall. Until she found the courage to let someone in, she could never truly walk away.

Her body was rigid; an uneasy feeling sweeping over it, tingling her toes. Foresight would have been a beautiful thing! It could have made her look away while she still had the chance and yet, her mind was a million miles away and completely unreachable.

Raven clenched her fingers into her palms, her long nails digging into the damp skin. In the tension, she felt one of her eyebrows obviously twitch. Unexpectedly, her reflections’ did not. Her eyes hardened with suspicion but her reflection never glared back. It remained as motionless and as cold as before. Almost as if death had claimed her once again. This softened her features as she waited to see, but when nothing changed and time marched on, she eventually rubbed her weary eyes, fed up. She looked again and blinked, and this time, the "other her" matched the action without hesitation. A sense of disappointment returned almost immediately, nevertheless she retreated back, somewhat satisfied. Transfixed by the newly found urge to look away and get on with her day….

The sudden and ear-shattering slam of her reflection's hand against the glass made her recoil back in absolute terror. The "other her" held no such emotion. But Raven could have sworn she saw shame as she fell backwards, hitting the cold tiled floor with an effective and lung shattering thud, stopping her from screaming out. In the silence of her shock, she could hear her heart pounding deep within her chest and it frightened her more than Saren’s delusions ever had.

Truthfully, it wasn’t real, “the other her” being a simple hallucination of her trauma. Fragments of tortured memories that still plagued her. Some recent, like the visions from the beacons; others less so, dating back all the way to her fathers’ death, years ago.

She still missed him as if a day hadn’t gone by, and to Shepard, that felt more real than her sudden presence; more realistic than her return from the dead because of some warnings about mythological AI bent on harvesting all life in the galaxy.

Eventually, Shepard's body tried to get her lungs out of their lost rhythm, rapidly allowing the filtered air to return. Out of breath and reluctant to make a sound, Raven simply laid motionless on the floor for some time. The only sounds that remained was that of the artificial light above her and the occasional dripping of the tap. Neither in that moment did anything to comfort her however. She didn't feel safe.

It's just you, she tried telling herself.

The arid silence was broken in two by the sudden metallic voice of EDI.

"Shepherd!” A long pause. “Are you hurt?" Before Raven could respond, EDI somewhat assumed the answer—unfortunately—it was the right one. "Should I inform Dr Chakwas you'll be—".

“—I'm fine!” Raven snapped, finally cutting the AI off. The AI’s concern shouldn't have sounded so real, surely not with all her restrictions. As a former Spectre at the time, she should have been questioning that, and yet, Shepard couldn't find the energy, intervening, a little too desperate not to have to talk about this with anyone. Not yet.

"Tell no one.” The AI’s commander ordered, “—please leave me be." It was hard not to inwardly cringe at her own lack of confidence then.

"Yes, Commander... Logging you out.".

Shepard frowned.

It soon didn't matter as the silence reclaimed the room, and Shepard was once again alone. But not entirely as EDI had reminded her. This allowed Shepard to face her greatest fear. She slowly reached up and gripped onto the basin, pulling herself off the floor and stalled herself. However, she wasn't ready to look in the mirror. Her jaw clenched and her pupils shook as she tried to focus on the rhythmic dripping of the tap instead. Her knuckles turned white from the pressure as she tried her hardest to remain as she was.

Finally closing her eyes, she braced herself, snapping her head up. But her courage was short-lived as her anxiety panicked her heart and seized up her once fearless mind. The echoes of her frantic breathing soon became too loud in the enclosed space.

She was trapped, in more ways than one. And all she could do was step back in shock; her shaking hands imitating how they once held onto the sink.

Raven suddenly wanted EDI's concern again. A fake, emotionless AI was better than crippling silence! So why didn't she just call out to her?

Turns out, she couldn't, not when she was the one asking.

Despite just having a shower, she wanted another. Cold sweat lined her brow and covered most of her back, dampening her clothes.

Here she was facing her worst enemy since awakening: and it turned out to be herself. It would seem her rebuilding had only been a reset button, of sorts. Shepard wasn't blind to the approaching conflict, and could see the cracks starting to show already.

Despite this, there was no escape from her daunting duty, none that she could see. A commander could be both fearless in the face of overwhelming odds and yet, still be smart enough to know when to fear… and knowing there was something out there; an almost invulnerable foe she could never defeat alone in a galaxy that made her stand alone, honestly terrified her. She knew it was because she was the only one alive who had seen the visions but it didn’t change the reality; she was only one human.

But that was only one side of the coin. There was a reason the Illusive Man had brought her back after all. She was, despite her flaws, one hell of a soldier, an incredibly skilled vanguard who inspired hope where there truly should be none.

And there were people that believed in her.

And she believed in them. Even if her anxieties made it hard for her to tell them, those odd few were the ones she couldn't find it in herself to let down.

Shepherd couldn't bear to lose them. Not without one hell of a fight.

The galaxy owed them more than they'd ever give them.

That, however, wasn't enough to stop her from questioning her resolve as the fear of losing more cracked deep. As a result, her reflection showed her a hidden truth.

Silent tears on a horrified face.

They spoke a million words. Words her mind would never allow her to voice to another.

What if I'm not enough?

When will we run out of time?

What if I'm wrong?!

What now? What now? What now?!

Her mind wouldn't shut up and she almost prayed for the peace of death to take her again.

The Reapers would never allow such a thing, she theorised, even if it could possibly lead to their defeat.

To her, the risk, no matter how small, was still a risk. That came with being a soldier. But these things didn’t think like organics—like her. When they comprehended organics they didn’t see risk, they simply saw their victory. For they were the “order” to the chaos of organic evolution; and Sovereign's words were a haunting shadow over any hope Shepherd may have once promised.

It all meant nothing, as Shepherd’s threats barely touched that monster's mind. An organics primal and evolutionary urge to fight for one's existence was not even a consideration to its warning. Its existence was simply beyond any comprehension of understanding. It did not matter how much she or anyone else questioned it—mercy was irrelevant—for there would be none. They would impose and force order. The cycle could not be broken.

Vigil, on Ilos, had eventually told her of Sovereign’s purpose: a vanguard who had laid in wait for centuries to send a signal to the thousands of its kind; who simply lay in wait to bring forth the extinction of the next cycle. And as outlandish as it had all sounded, Shepard had believed it just long enough to think—what if?

However… in the end, that thing’s threats had run hollow. For Sovereign did eventually fall. It was devastating… yet not impossible. Unity that day had been enough… against one.

To most, it was over.

No, it couldn’t have been over, Shepherd had tried to argue.

These things were apparently sentient machines of utter destruction, forged for that purpose alone. If Sovereign and Vigil were to be believed, they had earned their overconfidence, born from centuries upon centuries of apparent victories.

And if that sinister thing hadn't turned out to be a liar with an ego of all things and the Reapers truly were masterminds of extinction—cruel and utterly smart; calculated without remorse—surely they knew one would never be enough.

Nevertheless, the Hero of the Citadel had led the combined Citadel and Alliance fleet to victory. (Along with the countless brave souls who saved not only the Destiny Ascension, but also the Council. She would have killed me if I didn’t add that part.) But it was her call. So, why hadn't the reapers intervened with her reconstruction then? She had shuddered at a guess. They wanted her alive. This was no gamble or risk either. This was a fucked up game created out of spite!

Probably for defeating their vanguard—subtle proof that there was more—and if so, this was her only warning. A warning they wanted her to heed. To not interfere further and for that, as a consequence she had to suffer through it; she had to be alive.

That’s why.

Where the galaxy now stood, her death would have been the answer to the reapers’ victory and yet, none of that mattered to them. It didn't matter that they had already won when she died.

They wanted everyone to know that their coming was unstoppable and she was the only one left who could tell them.

She was their pawn in an already rigged game. Although it didn’t really matter. The galaxy's disbelief might just be enough to ensure that promised, catastrophic end.

A part of her couldn’t fully blame the Council. Denial felt safe. And they had many to keep “safe.” Utter panic would do nothing. Riots would give no answers, and if she turned out to be delusional of all things… It wasn’t worth thinking about.

But after all she went through, they were still too frightened to see the truth, even secretly.

That there was a puppet master behind those long strings of corruption and cruelty. That Saren was not the mastermind behind it all. Even if it was over and she was crazy, from Sovereign’s brutal description, only a “Reaper” could be behind this! What Saren had turned into... The former legend of a Spectre had become so scared when it finally clicked—it was like he was being eaten alive by his own mistakes—that she actually fought for him. And yet, it was too late. And the only escape for him was a terrible truth.

It wasn’t going to be ok.

He had to die. They just simply came to the same conclusion at different moments. And as much as she’d wanted to save even him—from Sovereign—she knew his mercy had been his suicide. A final decision that was his, and his alone. An end he had to fight for with everything he had and despite everything, she couldn’t even begin to imagine what that took. Never before had her enemy thanked her for their death.

Because it wasn’t about going back on everything—nothing could make it right—it was about him finding himself long enough to do the right thing. His killing blow still echoed in her mind late at night sometimes. But she had long learned that was pointless.

So she simply showed it through her report to the council— a personal note at the end, in honour of who she’d fought for:

—“…as good intentions go, Saren’s were long gone, but, honestly, so was he. And while I truly do believe whatever Saren was doing started in service to his people, in the end, that never truly matters.

I knew little about him, but my intuition tells me that the Saren you once knew—the honourable Spectre that was a legend to his people—was long forgotten.

However, that wasn’t him under the chambers. It was Sovereign.

There was nothing left to save and I doubt it would have been a kindness to. And as the Turian councillor would know, his people would not have forgiven his betrayal. And I believe, despite everything, neither would he. But he did right in the end… and that shouldn’t easily be forgotten.”.

A heavy sigh escaped her; so heavy she thought it threatened to pull her soul out with it. The task ahead of her… The undertaking almost seemed as impossible as her warnings.

The first step was getting enough of the galaxy to believe her in the first place, let alone "unite them." There was so much hatred and resentment to contend with first, and that was if there were no other problems after the fact. Even this far in, very few had heeded her warnings; fewer still were vocal about it. Would the "united" galaxy she managed to get even be enough?

She felt herself becoming overwhelmed as her mind raced to find answers. Answers she could not possibly have. As a result, it felt as if her heart was pounding the life out of her; she could hear it exploding in her ears as it turned her body into a shaking mess of adrenaline that was soon gasping for air.

Shepard went into autopilot, at least trying to calm herself through her panic attack. Shutting her eyes yet again she reached for her father's last words deep in her mind. She hesitated as she hated relying on such an old tactic. But she was at a loss. She didn't know what else she could do.

"Be good…" Her mind halted; frowning as she tried to remember her fathers voice. It had been a long time since she last heard it.

It troubled her still, and she would forever doubt herself. The cure?

She wasn’t even sure there was one. After all, rebuilding her entirely hadn't done it. But she knew better than to ask for such reassurance; that he'd ever reply. She couldn’t even remember if death had given her that chance.

Shit—maybe it had. She couldn’t remember.

The trauma of his death was fragmented this far into her life, but the memory of her father desperately trying to save her did indeed come flooding back to the forefront of her mind.

It would always be bittersweet. She couldn’t remember her hero without the rest, after all. Becoming lost to her own mind was the easy part—this wouldn’t be the first time.

Raven still remembered how he had to gasp for air after every word.

Pushing down the burning lump that had formed in her throat—she stopped the threat of more tears.

The wound on the side of his neck was fatal. His once tight grip weakened as he began to accept the inevitable, letting his body rest. No help was coming.

He had made it look so easy. He simply let go so he could reassure his daughter.

Because that was enough for him. So, it was already decided. He would die to keep her here. She would make a life for herself. And if dying was the cost—he’d happily pay the fee.

It was a sacrifice he made without hesitation. A decision she had no say in and could not accept until much later.

It… it was never the same.

Nothing was.

And she envied him.

And while the Alliance helped her find her feet, Anderson was the one that helped her feel a redemption of sorts after Elysium. But it still hadn't been enough. So she stayed with the Alliance—and eventually found a new home amongst the stars as she served upon the Normandy SR1.

The events of Elysium were supposed to be her last stand—her redemption. A way to finally let go of her anger and find peace in it.

She hadn’t planned on making it out alive. And yet, she held them off until help arrived, making sure everyone got out—including herself—and it was more than she could have hoped for.

This time, she had a say. And back then, the not-yet Commander kept her word. She made sure Elysium held—despite hours of brutal fighting, alone.

The Alliance declared her a hero and later that night Anderson had told her that her father would have been proud of his sacrifice that day, and every moment since.

And before her own death, she would find herself staring at the stars, wondering if Anderson was right and if her father truly was watching over her. She would find the biggest, brightest star and smile. It would twinkle in her eyes—almost feeling like a smile returned.

Since coming back, that too, no longer brought her any comfort.

For the stars had simply watched as she had died alone. It was a stupid thought but it crushed her nevertheless. The stars had seemed so lifeless as she drifted amongst them—gasping for breath—and they still did, every day since.

The commander flinched as her death made her recall how her father had done the same. He had tried to comfort her; he had fought so hard.

No amount of comfort had stopped her chest from heaving with fear as he began to choke. All she could do was sob into his chest, hoping, if anything, that she would be enough to save him.

"...You'll always be, my little Raven." He’d rasped, his grip no longer trying to keep himself alive. Choosing to wrap his arms protectively around her instead. That little girl had wished she could have done more. And yet all she did was close her eyes so tight, pleading over and over,

“Please don’t go…” He couldn’t leave her. What would she do without him?

His chest eventually stilled as his suffering stopped. Her pleas had echoed for hours after, refusing to let go.

An older Raven closed her eyes again, breathing easier, letting her father's words ease her mind, and in turn, her body began to slowly follow.

It was difficult to find solace in such a tainted memory. And yet, it gave Raven the courage to look away. Unfortunately, despite all of her achievements, she didn't feel proud. Regardless of the fact, she refused to change. At this point in her career, she couldn't falter and let the galaxy see that she wasn't even close to perfect, as some thought she was.

Distracting herself away from the mirror, she lifted her shaking fingers and forced them to find a purpose. From memory alone, she pulled her long white hair into a high top bun, covering her scar. Tedious as it was, she pushed herself through it every day.

When she was finished, black eyeshadow lightly adorned her eyes and long eyelashes, bringing out her high cheekbones and attractive blue gaze.

The Commander hit her hand across her eyes, stopping the threat of more tears. Her cheeks were already sore, and they stung as she wiped the evidence of her crying away.

It did matter, but deep down, she'd had enough.

This is just profound and simplistic professionalism, she told herself, reassuring her lifelong lie. She was an expert at pretending, if for a little while. But Shepard was experienced enough to know she couldn't avoid it forever.

She faced herself again, going against her better judgement, finding some courage in the sudden calmness surrounding her. She gazed at her reflection—and she almost looked sombre—yet deep down, she was still afraid;.

“I love you,” echoed as she couldn’t stop herself from remembering her father’s final words. They were once so quiet and loving that she almost hadn’t heard them. And the moment she realised what he said was a moment too late.

And she would never hear those words again. Hearing them now from herself, she didn’t quite believe them. Somehow she never imagined he would ever leave her.

And yet, he did. And as a consequence, there were things that were left unsaid. Like a reply she wished he got to hear.

She wouldn’t pretend that she should say it, but at least it distracted her enough to leave her fear behind so she could walk away.

#mass effect #mass effect trilogy #mass effect 3 #mass effect 2 #commander shepard #my shepard #anixtey #trigger warning #mental health #tw death #tw thobias #this gets dark #please heed the warnings #my Shepard’s background #long post #creative writing

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motheatenscarf · 1 year

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Okay, I'm at the point where I need to do a trial in order to progress the story and I'm a tank, so I'll actually have to watch a video for that, so I took a day off to parse my thoughts on things that WEREN'T unspeakable goddamn tragedies.

I will also post thoughts on the tragedy, but later. I want to see the consequences of this loss in the narrative play out first before making a value judgment, but so far I am already leaning towards "good story beat, actually emotionally impacted me and the characters in text and was thematically appropriate."

For non-tragedy thoughts, I'm just going through screenshots and gonna post my thoughts in order based on what I clearly thought was worth screenshotting;

Okay, I already talked about how I came around on Estinien, but I also really like Ysayle. I love that she earns the name "Lady Iceheart" but is the most emotionally driven character so far in her desire for peace and believes that she's the reincarnated soul of this ancient dragon's old flame. Quite the blow to realize she isn't that and this guy doesn't recognize or care about her and that she just summoned up a primal based on her own desperate beliefs. WOOF. That's a good character arc. I want to see where she goes from there.

Also the fact that she just loves Moogles because they're adorable and makes a comment like "My heart is aflutter from mere... fluffiness??" and like, girl, same, they're so cute.

Another interaction I liked from the Moogles was when Alphinaud got mad at them for making his trial of worthiness just be the chores none of them wanted to do. He got so pissed he went and said something like, "I don't know what a 'kupo nut' is but I know they use it for currency and I've half a mind to demand some for the work I just did!" and, YOU GET EM, SWEETIE! We'll make a lil pinko out of you yet, demand compensation for your labor, work to rule, honey! I'm so proud of him!!

And another fun Alphinaud moment was when he said, in the fanciest little lad way possible, "Last one to finish their job is a rotten egg!"

And speaking of babies, Nanamo's okay! I've actually got mixed feelings on that.

On the one hand, I really like Nanamo and I fucking love Raubahn, I'm full on going to switch my faction allegiance to the Immortal Flames once I max out rep in the Malestrom, but man. The MOST exciting part of the end of ARR was when they shifted the status quo that hard! I grant you the scions are still missing and we still had to retreat to Ishgard to seek new allies, but man, handwaving it so that things can more or less go back to the way they were before kinda sucks.

I was EXCITED for that change! I'm of course glad that Ruabahn is okay and gets to keep being surrounded by tiny adorable lalafel, and I really liked Nanamo and her struggle to figure out how to help her people was compelling, but man... idk... I feel like there was more to be explored with that Ul'dah crew on the run and the city in chaos that had a lot of potential we never got to see :T

This is a relatively minor complaint, of course, the stuff with Isghard is certainly gripping enough. I'm fine if Raubahn only ever gets to be that gif of the drunk girls with the puppies when it comes to keeping all of the itty bitty babies in his life safe

Final thought, UH, they kinda dropped a bomb on me that apparently half-elves exist in this world???

I .... I mean, one would assume it was possible, but we haven't seen any until now, despite there being plenty of instances of inter-species relationships that it actually raises MORE questions than it answers. Even if Dragon Age is a copout answer, it at least means they don't have to program unique models to make all children between elves and humans just humans. It means the same of probably other pairings as well, but if you put half-elves in a setting, it BEGS the question, okay, what do mixed heritages look like across the board? And namely, uh, where are all the others? I refuse to believe that this Hilda woman is special, if there is ONE thing I know about humans and elves in any given setting it's that you can't leave them alone for 5 goddamn minutes together without drowning in half-elves. Also, the others, huh? Where are the human/au-ra babies? Where are the Au-Ra/Elezen babies? I know people be fucking these anime uwu catboys and catgirls, where are the lanky elf-cats and scaley dragon cats?!

My brother actually pointed out a very real possibility that if we have humans, and we have hrothgar..... maybe that is where miqo'te came from in the first place, which begs the question of like, okay, if you can have a half and half baby of mixed heritage, what happens if that baby has babies with a third entirely different option?

You cannot introduce this element so cavalierly and then kill my goddamn elf husband and expect me to forget, I WON'T FORGET THE HALF-ELVES THAT COULD HAVE BEEN, FF14, YOU WILL ANSWER ME!

#Caitlin Plays FF14 #FF14 spoilers

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simowis · 11 months

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Monthly nonsense 23.11

So I started to read the history again. Because he is the representative of his civilisation, even though we are of different races and our cultures must be far apart. I had to have more knowledge about the human culture before I could have a basis for an idea of his culture.

I don’t need to search sacrifice from others fictions，my people’s history has so many of them.

There's some good words in my language can discribe those solders' spirit, but english don't have them. A pity.

Maybe the word 'martyr' can explain part of it. But not for religious. For faith, for all of us a better life.

The ME's writer may not know what a 'memory shard' means for my race.

"No fight, no future. " "This cycle is doomed, unless there's a miracle. And miracles are what we must strive for with all our might." "Our deaths are inevitable, but it's all worth it in the passing of the flame to the next cycle. "

The consciousness of the Protheans in Javik's time would have been sublime. They no longer thought only of their own race, their own cycle.

He's absolutely a hero.

Wish he can have some kind of hope after war.

Casualty exchange ratio

His story summit is just over one hour. Too little, and too precious for me. I wait until I almost forget all of it then look back a little. Hope it can always be fresh to me.

In fact javik did not told Shep what's the actual 'weakness' of prothean empire. He indicate it is linked with 'all united together'.

I really enjoyed the philosophical musings in Shepard and Javik's daily conversations, especially on the subject of AI versus organisms. It's a shame it's only a few dozen lines of dialogue in the game. He really has a lot on his mind. He has a strong moral and philosophical view of the world, and he's been educated in more than just the parts necessary for a soldier. Had he been an adult in a time of peace, he would undoubtedly have been a fine scholar; he wasn't the type to be a passive recipient of others' ideas. If he writes books after the war, I'd like to read his thick, brick-sized series of essays on his ideas about AI; his philosophy of race.

Javik says that the Zha's mistake was to implant devices to enhance their intelligence, and that this led to the creation of Zha'tl. And he apparently believes that the rise of Zha'tl was an aberration, and that the Zha were subjugated and enslaved by their implanted AI. The Protheans, staunchly anti-AI, would have resisted their own implanted devices. At the very least, 'implanted devices to enhance intelligence can lead to a loss of control' is a lesson deeply embedded in the consciousness of every Prothean. They may also develop robotic hands, robotic eyes, or even entire mechanical bodies, but turning the brain into a chip and running multiple cores, as in 'Battle Angel Alita' ; or fusing Motoko's mind with the AI's consciousness, as in 'Ghost in the Shell', must be an absolute prohibition for them. Their ethics on genetic modification are obviously very loose, as they would modify the genes of the primitive Asari, and they would probably do genetic screening on themselves, as they are worshippers of evolution. However, they would certainly have no use for AI in this area, even though it would be a lot faster in terms of efficiency.

Honor must be a very important part in Prothean society.

The third day, his smile still compels me. This art is to pull my head and stab me with a small knife at the same time; while warming me up like a hot water bag. This only makes my blood flow faster. How do I draw a smile like this …… and then stab myself to death?

He tortured me for loving him.

Prothean don’t need primitives to fight Reapers.

#monthly nonsense

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elpida · 3 months

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bear or bunny - cade - @wiinestories

It wouldn't be long now. Just a few more weeks, the nursery was done, all decorated.. they had all those big items, the stroller, bottles, changing mats and nappy bags, the works. They were prepared because it was Cade, he was always prepared, meticulously so... and yet he couldn't help but wonder off to the infant aisles in every store he went in to. He just wanted things to be perfect for her. Hell he'd even taken to carrying around a pocket book of baby names, circling any and all that he thought might be nice. he didn't really love modern names or repetitive things you'd hear all the time. He wanted her to be special and have a name that you didn't hear every day, something soft and calm, something nice on the ears. Of course if Agatha said she hated one of his suggestions then that was it, name crossed out but there was one he circled that he kept coming back to. Alma. It'd be nice for a little girl, nice for a teenager and nice for an adult, a suitable name, a soft and peaceful sound. Apparently it meant soul and he liked the thought that each gave a little of their own, to her. Heaven knew that she was going to have his soul wrapped around her tiny little fingers in no time at all. In his head he was already referring to her as Alma, his little Alma, so he could hope and pray that Aggie liked it. His girls, Agatha and Alma, it had a nice ring to it.

Now his mind begged the question of which Alma would like more, the bunny or the bear. He was stood in shop aisle, holding two soft comforter blankets, the type with a toy attached in the centre, soft as anything. One was a light grey bunny rabbit, the other was a beige bear. Bunny or bear, bunny or bear... he didn't realise quite how long he stood there contemplating that decision like it was the most important thing in the world.

"First time dad?" a voice asked and snapped his attention up but even then, he wore the biggest, goofiest grin on his face. "How could you tell?" he laughed, lifting up the two comforters in gesture. "I 'aint ever seen a man put so much thought into which one is the better choice, but I've had three of my own so I might be able to help you make a choice." the woman was a little more than middle aged, the lines in her face showing her age but she was friendly and it was a nice offer. "I'd appreciate all the help I can get Ma'am."

Cade turned, holding out the two options. "My little girl, she's due in a few weeks, I'm tryin' to decide which one she'd like more 'coz a bunny is cute right? The bear I think the colour is nicer.." he was putting so much thought into this, so much. The woman reached to try both materials but then wiggled the bunny rabbits ears. "She's gonna love the ears, see the bears lovely but little hands like to grab on and these big floppy ears here, they're something to hold onto! My girl had a bunny, she loved the ears. I reckon you're best with a bunny." he was nodding his head as he listened and promptly put the bear back down. "Well, thank you for that, I'd have ended up gettin' both and being over prepared, got a habit of it." he laughed in passing. "Bunny it is."

"I know a great baby group in the area too, you know new parents are always welcome and it's a great way to get out of the house and make some new friends! I went to it with my daughter and she's just started taking her little boy now. You'll see what I mean but they grow up so darn fast." he had a feeling he'd blink and Alma would be half grown. "I'd appreciate that, I didn't even consider that there might be groups around but anythin' to get outta the house at that stage right? I bet it felt like no time at all huh?" he laughed, walking towards the checkout counter with the older lady. "It felt like no time at all and was worth every minute."

He let her go first, enjoying their chit chat. "I think she'll be worth everythin'. Every second, minute, every last night, the lot." the woman's look softened. "You don't need to spend anymore time wondering whether you're doing a good job or doing any of it right, you already are." It meant a lot to him to hear it, he spent a lot of time wondering if he was doing enough for Agatha, doing this whole thing right, how he'd handle the hopefully baby Alma, being here. He'd do anything for them, anything. The woman handed him a receipt someone had left with the baby group details scribbled on the back. "I look forward to seeing you there with your baby girl!" she smiled sweetly and he returned her kindness with his own offer of carrying her groceries to her car for her. The least he could do.

Truth be told he was excited to get him and show Agatha what he'd got for baby girl, and when he went home he walked through the door with a huge beaming smile and a light grey bunny rabbit comforter in his hand. "How do you feel about Alma?" he blurted out in question since he'd been throwing names at her every day for weeks now, maybe this one would be the one that'd stick.

#cade interactions #cade&agatha #cade&alma #drabble #cade drabbles

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schizofficial · 2 years

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Ask yourself, "Is my relationship toxic?" Be it friendship, romantic, family, or...siuation-ship. With my own listening vestibules, I don't hear of many healthy ones going on. So sad.

Parents and other adults in y'all's lives obviously don't communicate well with y'all, so why on earth would y'all communicate well in your situation? Right? I mean, that's how I look at it. You can't mimic what you're not even taught...or maybe refuse to learn(?). SPEAK TO OTHERS HOW YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE SPOKEN TO. Direct, honest, open, and without judgment. It's really not that hard.

If people are afraid to hear the truth, then that's a problem with them, not with you. The truth is truly hard to hear sometimes, but YES(!) it needs to be heard. And no, it's not mean to tell someone the truth. If someone can't handle the honesty, they need to look a little at the reason it hurts so much. A discussion needs to be brought to the table, apparently.

I went off on a small tangent, but it was a good one, nonetheless.

Do they make you question yourself? Doubt yourself as a person? Make you do something wrong, against your better judgment? Does, literally, everyone around you know they are a horrid person while you are sitting there trying to defend characteristics you know aren't really there? Does little to nothing positive ever come out of your mouth when speaking of them?

You, my dear, may have a toxic human in your relationship walls. Don't hold onto them. Don't give them more chances. Don't try to change them. Don't let them pass Go! and collect $200 that you know they won't spend well. You are beating a dead, bloated horse with a broken stick and expecting it win races. JUST STOP!

If they are family, the only thing that links you is DNA, and that is just some strands, not a paying contract. And even that is kind of flimsy by the end of it with a really good lawyer. If they are your parents, you will be respectful and cordial, but you don't have to be completely buddy-buddy. Just smile and move on until you can move out. Simple and easy. Blood may be thicker than water, but you CAN choose your family at the end of the day. (And blood is easily thinned out with blood thinners...haha! Just saying.)

We come to a point in our lives, whether you figure it out now or later on down the road, that games with people aren't fun. Words that tickle the mind and heart are amazing, but using them to toy and manipulate with a person is a cruel art. It's not worth the time and effort people put into it because there are so many better things that could've been done with that wasted time. And if you wasted time with someone you knew was doing it to you, you're an even bigger fool.

Life's too short for toxicity and unhappiness. I'm not a crunchy mom, all peace, love, and rainbows. Far from it. But everyone deserves a someone and a little serenity in their lives.

#schizofficial mom #schizology #mom words #virtual mom #mom of tumblr #your mom #words you need to hear #personal thoughts #relationship #toxicity #toxic relationship

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five-wow · 6 years

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The Melissa mystery: a look at canon facts

Sooo recently there’s been a lot of confusion about where the hell Melissa is, because she seems to have been forgotten by H50 canon, but we’ve never seen or heard anything about Danny and her breaking up. Are we supposed to assume they did that off-screen and it went unmentioned? Are they still together but so low key that it’s basically invisible? Did Melissa run off with Lynn and/or Charlie Fong and that’s why Danny never mentions her because it’s too painful and/or awkward? Do the writers even remember that Danny used to have a longterm girlfriend? Does Danny remember he has a girlfriend?

> Getting to the actual content of this post <

I can’t answer any of those questions, but what I was able to do is go back through the most recent couple of seasons and search the dialogue for any trace of Melissa. Fair warning that there are a lot of opinions peppered in here.

> Why not look at the episodes she appeared in? <

That would be better, of course, except that there are shockingly few of those for a woman that Danny has been dating for five years by now (assuming, for the moment, that they’re currently still together). That’s half a decade, people, shit, and in all that time she only physically appeared in six episodes, the most recent of which was almost two years ago (hence the understandable confusion in fandom about where she went).

Here’s an overview of episodes with Amber/Melissa in them:

4.12 O kela me keia Manawa (her first meeting with Danny; she introduces herself as Amber)

4.19 Ku I Ka Pili Koko (Amber and Danny’s first time and Amber accidentally meets Grace; Steve and Danny are trapped under a collapsed building and say “I love you” to each other for the first time)

5.16 Nanahu (s5 Valentine’s Day episode: Amber’s abusive ex-husband turns up and stabs Danny and she runs him over with her car; from this point on, she goes by Melissa, her name from before she had to go in hiding from her ex)

5.24 Luapoʻi (the episode where Danny learns Charlie is his son; he gets texts from Rachel asking him to come meet her and he tells Melissa it’s work, but when he goes to take a shower his phone keeps buzzing and Melissa discovers that he was lying to her)

6.14 Hoa 'inea (s6 Valentine’s Day episode: Melissa writes Danny a card telling him she loves him, but he doesn’t say (or write) it back even though they’ve been together for two years; they have a fight because she wants to feel like a priority in his life, which is never resolved on screen)

7.16 Ponui I Ke Aloha (s7 Valentine’s Day episode: Melissa, Danny, Lynn and Steve go on a double date organized by the women, but Danny spends most of the weekend chasing some kid around; Danny at one point super casually says “I love you” to Melissa during a game of volleybal, in a way that doesn’t look like the first time, so apparently he did start doing that at some point after 6.14)

Conclusion: Melissa’s appearances span about three seasons/years, but half of the time we get to see her, she’s making an appearance because it’s Valentine’s Day, which bugs me for reasons that aren’t what this post is about. In short, it seems to suggest she’s only useful when some romance is required and she has literally no other relevance or link to anything else in Danny’s life, which is... not healthy, unless they’ve talked about that, which the show never suggests they have. Rather the opposite, what with Melissa wanting Danny to take her seriously.

The other half of the time, Danny seems to be lying to her or avoiding her, even though we never see her do anything that would warrant this kind of behavior (and she comes straight from an abusive relationship, so please, do fucking better, Danny, because I know you have your own history and insecurities, but you’re being an unintentional asshole). But again, not strictly what this post is about.

> So we last saw her in 7.16. What about everything after that? <

That’s what I wanted to know, too! Because I didn’t have time to rewatch almost two full seasons (as of the time of posting this, the most recent episode is 9.14), I instead went for a somewhat less elegant approach: I ctrl+F searched episode scripts from this website for every episode post-7.16 for the keyword “Melissa”. There are two immediately obvious problems with this approach:

The scripts are pretty rough. They’re pretty much dialogue-only (transcripts, really, not scripts), but that’s not a problem if spoken words are the only thing I’m looking for anyway. The bigger danger is that there could be discrepancies between the transcripts and the actual dialogue, but everything I’ve seen (and I’ve used this website a lot in the past) seemed pretty accurate.

I only searched for “Melissa”, so if Danny ever mentioned her as just “my girlfriend” or anything similar, my method didn’t pick up on that.

> Gasp! So what did you find? <

[insert drumroll] 🥁 Frighteningly little!

Here’s an overview:

8.06 Mohala I Ka Wai Ka Maka O Ka Pua

This is the episode where Danny hires a stress counsellor for Steve. Melissa is mentioned (by Danny) when the counsellor asks how many times a week Steve has sex, and Steve exaggerates the number and Danny corrects him, saying he knows “because Lynn speaks with Melissa and then Melissa shares with me”, which freaks Steve out a tiny bit. The conversation moves on after Steve asks Danny to do him a favor and stop discussing intimate details of Steve’s relationship with his girlfriend.

In other words, Melissa’s name is mentioned here, but in a discussion that’s actually about Steve’s sex life (which makes it very shippy on the McDanno front in the most ridiculous of ways, but that’s a different story). It does, however, tell us that Melissa is still in touch with Lynn, Steve’s girlfriend at the time, which shows that she has at least some outside connections to Danny’s life.

And then... nothing. No, seriously, 8.06 is the only mention of Melissa (by name, at least, but it seems odd to have Danny talking about a girlfriend without naming her, so I’m going to assume it really is the last time) after her last appearance in 7.16.

Other thing to note: Melissa is not anywhere in Danny’s visions of the future in 8.11. Kono and Chin are included by way of pictures on a wall, because they’re characters whose actors left the show, but Melissa isn’t in those pictures.

> Conclusions <

Here are my main take aways:

Danny and Melissa are still together in 8.06, because he definitely talks about her like they are.

At the time of writing this (early February 2019), 9.14 is the most recent episode to air, which means that Melissa hasn’t been mentioned in the past rougly one and a third season.

Each season of H50 covers about a year, because the show seems to stick relatively well to our irl passage of time. This means that between 4.12 (Melissa’s introduction) and 8.06 (last mention of Melissa’s existence) very nearly four years would have passed. Danny and Melissa therefore have a relationship of four years before she vanishes, then we get a year of nothing, and now, in season 9, Danny is possibly flirting with Rachel and there’s no mention whatsoever of whether he’s single or not.

Which, to contrast this, does happen in 7.20, in which the news of Rachel and Stan’s divorce breaks and there is a character explicitly suggesting that Danny would want to get back together with Rachel. In that episode, Danny says he doesn’t want that and he has a girlfriend who he “like[s] very much”.

The last time Melissa is mentioned is when Danny tries to justify telling Steve and a virtual stranger that he knows intimate details about Steve’s sex life. Chew on that one for a bit.

In the last three episodes where Melissa physically appeared, things never went very smoothly for her relationship with Danny. One time he lied to her, one time they had a big fight, and the last time she had organized a romantic weekend and he spent most of it distracted by, with all due respect to Danny, very petty nonsense. Melissa says she’s okay with it all, but it wouldn’t have been super weird if at some point after 7.16, the show had somehow worked in a mention of a break-up (if they couldn’t bring Melissa’s actress back to show us that scene, which would have been ideal - they did that very nicely for Gabby, Danny’s only real canon girlfriend before Melissa).

Steve and Lynn, on the other hand, do get a formal mention of a break-up (in 9.01). They were together for two and a half to three years before splitting (their first date was in 6.07). This all makes the whole silence on the Danny and Melissa front even stranger.

Most important point, perhaps: there is no mention of Danny breaking up with Melissa. There is no mention of Melissa leaving. There is no mention of Melissa still being around, either, but that’s the state the show left things in last time we heard of her.

> A last word / Conclusions part 2 <

Clearly, Melissa got abducted by aliens.

Okay, so maybe not. She did disappear, however, and to the best of my knowledge she did so without a trace, even after I put some serious effort into finding her. She is last seen in 7.16, last mentioned in 8.06, and we don’t know if Danny and she broke up at some point after that or not.

Of course there’s a near-endless number of possible headcanons to fix this glaring plothole (she’s still around but very much in the background; there was a quiet break-up and Danny doesn’t like to talk about it ever; their relationship is and always has been a cover story for something and Danny has just given up the pretense at this point; Melissa has been working as a secret super scientist and has been travelling back and forth to Mars to find a way to achieve world peace and she’s so close that she hasn’t had time to come home in two years but Danny totally understands and supports her career; [make up literally whatever you like]), but really, at the end of the day, the people responsible for canon very seriously dropped the ball here by not even alluding at a breakup, which would have been so easy.

So was this laziness on the part of the writers? Maybe. Probably, even, because somewhere something went wrong (assuming this isn’t part of some secret bigger plan which they’ve waited literally years to reveal) and it’s kind of their job to make sure it doesn’t. I guess they might have meant for Melissa to come back at some point, but when things turned out differently (for whatever reason, such as changes in the plot or scheduling issues with the actress), they feared that it had been too long and viewers would have forgotten her, so they ignored the issue completely, which is fine, except that it’s also nuts. This show is known to make characters vanish sometimes, but I don’t think it’s been this bad for anyone with a huge personal link (and established four-year romantic relationship!) to any of our main characters.

But yeah, whatever the underlying reason, in-universe or out, this seems to be the state of things. I honestly don’t even know if I’m mad. Mostly I’m just completely baffled, I think. Despite her long involvement with Danny, Melissa is a very minor character and I never meant to spend this much time thinking about her or writing up long Tumblr posts, but dammit - she deserved better, and the way she’s been treated feels emblematic of Things H50 Does Wrong, specifically in regard to minor characters, women, and romantic relationships. That’s what gets me the most, maybe. She’s all of those problems, compounded into one, cranked up to eleven and with a bow on top.

> A shameless plug <

Should anyone need a healthy dose of catharsis after this, here’s a fic I wrote a while back where Melissa dumps Danny because he’s a better boyfriend to Steve than to her, which feels more relevant than ever after writing this: Please don’t tell me (how this story ends). It has happy ends for everyone, because that’s my jam. ✨

> The tl;dr version <

Melissa? Melissa who? (Alternately: What the fuck, dear H50 writers?)

#h50 #melissa armstrong #meta #this is a Lot Of Words that i did not mean to write #but i guess i'm still frustrated gosh #the melissa mystery #*#also to be clear i do enjoy the show (i do! i promise i do!) but i also think it has Issues with a capital i #and i know the general thinking in the fandom is 'ugh the writers don't know what they're doing anyway'#but i still think it's worth mentioning #it's worth it just for my own peace of mind because apparently i really needed to write this out

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lubdubsworld · 3 years

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The Devil’s Own.

Jungkook x OC

Mafia Au!

Warnings : Non-Con ! Manipulation, Degradation, Shitty hero with no redeeming Qualities you have been warned. ( i mean he does get better but not much.)

Summary : Just Mob Boss Jungkook doing mob boss things.

Chapter 1

“ Sign it. ”

I glared at him, feeling sick at the tone. The entitlement.

“No.” I said sharply and I could feel his anger swelling, morphing into something dangerous and deadly but I couldn’t care anymore. I was tired. Exhausted. This cat and mouse game had gone on , long enough. It wasn’t an even playing field, in any sense of the qword.

If today was the day I died, so be it. I would accept it. I would even welcome it.

I was done.

He had everything : an empire at his beck and call , enough money to pave the streets of Seoul in gold and an army of loyal associates behind him. His face was plastered on Billboards across the country , the President posted pictures of him on his fucking SNS and delegates from other countries had to wait weeks , just to get an appointment with the youngest billionaire South Korea had ever seen.

And yet none of those white collared dignitaries saw this side of him. The dirty, violent ruthless man who had more blood on his hands than anyone else in the country. My father’s. My brothers’.

Jeon Jungkook was both the most revered business man in the country and the undisputed king of Seoul’s criminal underbelly.

“You defiance only makes me want to break you in other ways Elena.” He said warningly and I felt my throat go dry. I stared at him, wondering how someone could look so expensively gorgeous and yet, like a hardened criminal.

The expensive silk shirt, the fitted slacks and the handmade shoes ought to clash with the dark ink that covered his entire arm and neck, the piercing on his eyebrow and the glint of metal on his tongue but it didn’t.

It just all came together to make him the most attractive man in existence.

I took a deep breath. Perhaps begging was the way to go?

“ You have my father’s company. You have my brother’s Hospital and you have the family mansion. It’s all yours. This bakery belongs to my mother. It’s all I have left of her. My sister in law is pregnant , due any day. She needs a place to stay and I don’t… I don’t have money to rent anywhere else.” I said desperately, thinking of the paltry wage I earned waiting tables. I could barely afford food for myself let alone for Jisoo and the baby on the way.

The bakery was abandoned but it had a roof. The furniture was crumbling but I could fix that. If I didn’t have to worry about rent, I could save up enough to make it livable. At least till I got a better job.

“I’ve offered you solutions for all of that.” He reminded me softly, eyes trained unblinkingly on me and I stared at him.

“I’m not going to be your whore.” I felt my voice shake.

He grimaced.

“You aren’t qualified to be my whore. And I don’t need one either. Whores are not my thing. I have a beautiful fiancée, don’t you remember? ” He grinned. I felt my heart ache because that fiancée was once my best friend. The only person I had trusted with my entire life. Lisa had betrayed my trust, had spied on my father’s operations and brought him down and I had the horrible, horrible inkling that she had also had something to do with my father and brother’s untimely death in a car crash.

But I couldn’t think about that. Every time I thought about her my heart broke and head spun, and I had to be at my maximum mental capacity if I was going to deal with her heartless fiancée.

“ If you ask me, you’re not fit for anything more than a back alley blowjob for a couple bucks. But Hoseok thinks you have potential. Join his agency, there are a lot of very wealthy men who have a bone to pick with your father. He made a shit ton of enemies. Most of them would love to fuck the defiance out of you. ”

His words felt like worms crawling all over my skin and I could feel the nausea churn inside me.

“I’m not signing the bakery over. You can call the creditors. I still have another year and half to pay the one remaining loan and they won’t come for me till then.” I felt my head begin to throb and Jungkook sighed.

“Suit yourself.” He stood up and I stayed still, watching his tall frame tower over me with ease. He gave me a small bitter smile. It was fraught with hatred and I stared back at him, knowing the emotion was probably mirrored in my gaze.

“Beautiful Elena. As pretty as the day you left me at the altar.” He smirked and I flushed.

“Your vengeance is petty and pointless and unfair…just like you.” I said angrily, frustration building u at his words. The way he talked about our broken engagement like it even mattered. It hadn’t even been real. We had hardly spoken and my father had called the wedding off at the last moment. But apparently, that had been the last straw for the Jeons. They had come after my father’s entire existence with a single minded intent to destroy him and they had succeeded. The man was dead . His two sons were dead.

But apparently it wasn’t enough.

Jungkook stared at me, slipping his hands into his pockets.

“Maybe. But it’s also deadly and potent. And it won’t rest until I see you reduced to nothing but a whore on the streets, spreading your legs for every man who can afford you.” He laughed. “ Saying no is a luxury , one that you’ll soon be unable to afford.”

I refused to be cowed, refused to give him the satisfaction of knowing that his words scared me. Because they did.

They scared me so damn much.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“This bed is so lumpy… I’m so sorry, unnie..” I said apologetically but Jisoo shook her head quickly, palms cupping my face as I held her elbows, gently lowering her to the bed. I stared at her feet, feeling my heart race at how swollen they looked. That can’t be normal, a voice whispered and

I didn’t know if that was normal and I had no money to take her to a clinic. The social center we usually went to only allowed three visits per month and we had used it all up. I wanted to throw caution to the wind and spend the thirty thousand won it would take but that would mean no groceries for a week and surely bread and eggs wouldn’t stretch that long, even if I could sneak meals in the restaurant for myself.

“I’ve been feeling a little dizzy…I’ll just sleep.” She said tiredly. She was thirty six weeks along, not due for another four weeks but her blood pressure was erratic. Her lab numbers were oscillating and there had been talks of an emergency c section. Even with insurance it was way more than I could afford but I had my own jewelry, a few expensive trinkets from my teenage years. I’d been obsessed with diamonds and my father had indulged me and I had a pair of earrings left. I’d already sold the rest but this would take care of the medical bills for the birth itself.

“My shift starts in ten minutes. I have to go. Give me a call if you need anything…” I said softly and I saw the familiar blank and listless look come into her eyes. I knew she was depressed, dealing with grief and pregnancy and loss but there was nothing I could do for her. Nothing. I had applied for a bunch of other jobs but they never wrote back. It wasn’t easy, being rejected over and over again but it wasn’t like there was much else I could do. And the truth was I was resigned to this, accepted that at some point I would have to take more loans and be stuck in an endless cycle of debt for the rest of my life.

And I had made peace with that.

There was no future for me. And I was okay with just surviving.

If only Jungkook would let me.

Apparently, watching me wipe down greasy tables and mop up floors and toilets trying to earn just enough to get a few square meals didn’t soothe his anger. It only fueled it. Jungkook couldn’t fathom that it had been six whole months of me on the streets of Seoul and I wasn’t completely destitute yet. I’d kept myself and my sister in law alive, safe and it pissed him off.

He wanted to see me broken and on my knees, begging him for help. The idea of me somehow surviving despite him taking everything away from me, it just didn’t sit well with him.

I couldn’t afford to have him as an enemy so all I could really hope was that one day he would wake up and give up. One day he would just wake up and decide that I wasn’t worth it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I walked into my shift and noticed a familiar pair of high heeled Louboutins , completely out of place in my seedy place of employment, I knew I was in trouble. Lisa sat against one of the booths and her gaze was fixated on the door which meant she was waiting for someone. And when her eyes narrowed at the sight of me, I just knew I was the someone.

She wants to get me fired.

It wasn’t rocket science and I felt the urge to turn right back around and leave. But I tamped down on it. I could get through this. I would get through this. Lisa and Jungkook got off on invoking reactions and I wouldn’t give them that.

Except it wasn’t that easy.

It was a nightmare, watching her demand and reject and walk all over me but the sleeplessness from the past few days made spacing out easier and I just stared away at the wall as she yelled and complained and made a scene.

“You’ve stopped fighting? Finally giving up? Good…” She hissed when the manager apologized to her and told me to meet him after my shift and I felt myself tremble in indignation.

“I won’t fight you or Jungkook, you and I both know I can’t afford to.” I said quietly and she went still, something flashing in her eyes for a second. It was gone before I could fully process it but it had been there. Guilt.

Lisa wasn’t a terrible human. She had been a dear friend. We had grown up together and she had even hugged and teased me when I’d been betrothed to Jungkook, all those years ago. I had been twenty back then, naïve and spoiled. While Jungkook had taken my father’s entire legacy apart, piece by piece, Lisa had been nothing more than a pawn. I remembered all the times I had let her home, how she would disappear for lengths of time.

Planting bugs all over the house. All over his office. Jungkook had been smart. Someone like Lisa, so fascinated by thr wealth she had grown up around would naturally jump at the idea of more. It wasn’t greed. It was human nature. And with her help he had destroyed everything my father had built over decades.

I shuddered. My father hadn’t been a good man. He had been greedy, yes. But he hadn’t deserved to die. And Jungkook would have to pay for that sin, someday.

“There’s a job waiting for you in Hoseok’s club.” She smiled cruelly , “ you don’t need this one.”

“The fact that you want to take it away from me, tells me that maybe there’s nothing left in you save.” I said blankly and she turned her nose up at me.

“I have Jungkook. I don’t need to be saved.”

I shook my head. She was so naïve. Men like Jungkook cared for nothing but themselves. But I wondered if women like her didn’t care for anything but the money that came with being his. Money was precious, I thought bitterly. I’d never realized how privileged I had been until I’d had it all ripped away.

“He’s the one you need saving from. And one day you’ll realize that.” I shrugged, not in the mood to offer her anymore life advice. If she was alright with being a trophy wife in exchange for a few pretty shoes that was her prerogative.

Before she could reply, my phone rang.

“Hello?” I asked nervously and I felt my heart drop to my knees when I heard who it was.

I turned on my heel rushing inside and my manager gave me a look of surprise.

“ My sister..she’s… she’s sick. I need to go.” I said desperately and his eyes narrowed. It was the worst timing. He was already annoyed because of Lisa and I stared in disbelief as he quickly shook his head.

“No. I’m sorry Elena…I just can’t let you leave like that…” He said sharply.

It was so unfair.

“I haven’t taken a single day off in five months…” I said desperately..” Please, she’s pregnant..She needs me, she-“

“If you leave, you won’t have a job to come back to. I can’t do this.. First you make trouble with a customer and now you just want to walk out in the middle of your shift without any notice…”

“Fine. Fire me.” I snapped, because I’d just had enough of it. I was exhausted, and tomorrow I’d go knocking on some other tore and I’d get a job. I lived in Seoul …How hard could it be? For now, I had to get to Jisoo. I had to get the hospital and things would be okay.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn’t okay.

“I… You want to keep her in? So soon?”

“Her blood pressure is through the roof. There are signs of severe pre eclampsia and we want to get her started on a magnesium drip. Steroids to help the baby’s lungs incase we need to deliver…”

“Deliver..?” I couldn’t breathe.

“Yes, I’m sorry…. If her blood pressure doesn’t come down we’re going to have to deliver.”

I nodded, glancing at the bed where Jisoo was sleeping, her face swollen and I knew that she was sick. Really sick. She looked pallid and ill.

“Is she going to be okay?” I asked hoarsely.

“We’re going to do what we can… But I’m going to be honest, we’re looking at a c section, a lot of meds and also some time in the NICU for the baby…. Can you afford it? Your sister’s insurance only covers 80% .”

I blinked, completely thrown. White noise rushed through my ears, a dull throb settling right at the base of my skull and beginning to spread all the way to my arms and back. It was panic mixed wth anxiety mixed with despair and I couldn’t quite cope. The earrings wouldn’t cover all that.

“Oh… Oh..yeah.” I said dully, “ Of course I can… Let me just…. Can I have a moment? There’s somethings I need to do.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I carefully slipped the cash into the envelope, swallowing as I sat on the pavement. I’d got another call from the hospital, they had administered the steroids but Jisoo’s condition seemed to be worsening. They wanted to try inducing labour soon but they wanted me to pay for the room and for the medicines, and apparently, the earrings weren’t as valuable as I thought they were.

I fought nausea wrapping arms around myself as I stared at the cars whizzing by, the putrid city air clogging my lungs as I tried to come to terms with what was happening. Jisoo needed help. She was the only one left and she carried my brother’s son. I felt my throat clog when I thought of Daehwan. He had been a good guy. I had loved him. It wasn’t fair, what Jungkook had done to my family, I thought miserably .

And the only reason I wasn’t driven by vengeance or anger was because I was nothing like Jungkook. I hated him. I didn’t want him to live in my head, didn’t want to waste any part of myself on him , not even my anger. But it was hard when he wouldn’t let me breathe, always at my heels like a wolf : jaws snapping and blood thirsty eyes trained on me at all times. I couldn’t fathom his obsession sometimes. Surely, his hatred was uncalled for now? He’d taken everything from me anyway.

There was a dull roaring in my ears, one that said that this was not really a surprise. I’d thought about it way too often, had considered it countless times. Had even spent one absolutely horrifying evening scouring the streets of Seoul’s red light district just to see how sex workers behaved.

I’d also realized that in the face of desperation, dignity didn’t hold much value.

You are going to pay your debts on your back and on your knees.

The first time Jungkook had thrown it at my face, eyes glinting with glee, my stomach had rebelled so hard. I’d been absolutely infuriated, had thrown a vase at him. And it had been awful, watching him catch it out of the air with ease, his mocking laughter making my bones rattle as he shook his head, “ That’s how this ends, Elena. Mark my words.”

And it was pitiful , that he went through life so consumed with hatred and vindictive cruelty that he couldn’t leave me alone . He was pathetic. That’s how I saw him. A pathetic child who refused to stop tormenting the helpless ant on the floor although it was no match for his cruelty.

At some point Jungkook was going to win. And his idea of winning was seeing me stripped bare of the one thing that kept me alive : my freedom.

It had just happened sooner than I’d thought.

Because I knew what it would mean, to go to Hoseok. He would own me. Hoseok’s whores were all slaves, tangled in his web so badly that there was no hope of escape. He wasn’t cruel but he was smart. No one left the his ‘ agency’ once they went in. I would be lost, forever. And I couldn’t stomach it.

I stared at my knees, fists clenched on the fabric of my skirt. I grabbed my phone, scrolling through the contacts. I considered it carefully. I had to do this on my terms. Had to make sure I retained some sort of control here.

And I knew just how to do it.

Hoseok picked up on the third ring.

“Hello.”

“I need help.” I croaked out.

The deep chuckle made my skin crawl.

“Elena Gong. What a wonderful, wonderful surprise. What can I do you for?” He drawled.

“Well sweetheart, I’m all out of charity so you’re going to have to make it worth my while.”

I took a deep breath.

“I’m a virgin.” I whispered.

The line went completely silent.

“What?” The amusement in his voice died.

“You heard me and I’ll let you cash in on it. I’ll let you auction it off…” I tamped down on the burning protest in my lung, the screaming inside my head that said it was horrifying, that I was considering this. “ But only if you keep my terms.”

“What makes you think you have a say in that.” He said sharply and I laughed.

“I belong to your world, Hoseok. Did you forget that we were friends, once.” I whispered and he didn’t reply.

Laughter, kindness, a big brother I could always count on, hobi oppa, nine year old me with my fingers curled around his wrist as we ran all around the gardens , a smile so wide that he could spread sunshine on the gloomiest days. Different from Jungkook and Namjoon and Yoongi and the others. Willing to include a ‘ girl’ in his playtime. Lisa and I the only girls, not even fazed watching as the rest of them wielded toy guns and mock interrogation scenes, pretending to kill and maim and torture because that was the world we were born into.

“We’re not friends, Elena. Let’s get that straight. The only part of you that holds any value to me is th part between your legs. So tell me, what do you want.”

“When was the last time you auctioned off someone’s virginity? You know how much money you can make off something like that. Not just from the sale itself but from the entire night. Your club… Your gaming hell…. All of it.”

“You expect me to believe you’re a virgin. At twenty seven.” He scoffed.

“Put the word out, everywhere. If you find one man who says he’s slept with me , I’ll back off.”

“That would require me to tarnish your family name. And you’re alright with that?”

I smiled biotterly.

“Isn’t that what you and your precious Jungkookie want? To see the last living Gong, be labeled as a whore and a slut.”

He didn’t reply.

“I’ll give you that. You can do it… You know that will only interest more people. As Jungkook so eloquently put it, most of them would love to fuck the defiance out of me.”

“What’s the catch. What do you want. ”

“2 billion won.” I said firmly “It will be one night. One night only and I want enough money to pay off every one of my father’s debts, to get me an apartment for my sister in law and to support her and her baby for a year at least.”

“Done.” He said without missing a beat and I went still. What must it be like, to throw around money like that without a care in the world. And it sickened me that Jungkook was probably ten times as rich as Hoseok , the money my father owed him and his associates not even pocket change in comparison to his gargantuan wealth and yet, he stayed on my heels, snapping his jaws like a dog with a bone.

“And Jungkook doesn’t get to watch.” I said softly, knowing exactly what Jungkook would get off on.

That made Hoseok laugh.

“You know him too well. I keep forgetting he was madly in love with you once.”

I resisted the urge to vomit. Jungkook didn’t know love. He knew ownership. He didn’t love me, he thought he owned me. That I was his to play with…. For the rest of his life. And when my father had denied him that, just like a toddler in a toy store being denied a shiny toy to break and trample on, he had thrown a temper tantrum.

Except his tantrums always ended in death and destruction.

“That’s the deal. He doesn’t turn up there to gloat.”

“He’s heading out to Switzerland for a week , two days from now.” Hoseok said evenly.

“Good then. My sister in law…she “ I swallowed. “ She’s in a hospital in Yongsan. I’ll send you the address.”

“I’ll take care of it. But I want you here tonight. I’m not going to drop a couple billion won on your head without making sure I’m getting my money’s worth. And I can’t have you changing your mind and bolting either. My reputation is on the line here. If I put out the word that I’m serving something so fucking delicious and then back out, they’re not going to want to buy Hobi’s wares anymore. You understand what I’m saying darling?” Hoseok drawled and I knew exactly what he was saying. If I agreed to this, it was blanket consent for him to whatever he wanted.

“I won’t back out. I can’t. But this is one night. One night with whichever bastard you choose and that’s it. I want out. I don’t want you or Jungkook hounding me again. Ever.” My voice shook as I dug my fingers into my knees.

“My men will be there in ten minutes. Sit tight, princess.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I stared at Hoseok as he carefully poured me a finger of whiskey, neat. He gave me a smirk and I shrugged.

“you remember.” I said casually, throat itching because it had been way too long since I’d had quality alcohol. I missed the burn, the warmth , the numbness that followed.

“Of course I do. You could drink all of us under the table with little effort. It was spectacular.” He laughed and I leaned back against the couch, letting my head fall back.

“I was half certain that you would have a doctor around to make sure I’m a virgin.” I stared at him and he shrugged. “ Pointless. You’re twenty seven, you’ve probably had stuff up there anyway… Not like your hymen’s still going to be intact.”

I thought it was rather horrifying, that I didn’t feel nearly as mortified as I should. This was how Hoseok talked, matter of fact and open and that was why he was so popular. Anytime an important person came into the country, Hobi was the one who offered entertainment for the night. Hobi’s girls were always the prettiest, most well behaved and perfect. They were educated, knew what they were talking about and he didn’t force them into the life. They loved it, enjoyed it and it showed.

Not to say he was a saint.

Far from it.

Hoseok knew how to dine with kings in castles but also how to wrestle with swine in the gutter. The seedy brothels in Seoul’s back alleys were his as well, and he ruled his kingdom with an iron hand. The prostitutes there feared him, one look or word enough to silence any rebellion, any thought of escape.

He was called Hope. And yet somehow that was exactly what he denied the women under him. There was no hope here. There was only lust and power and money. You came to Hobi…. You never left .

I took the glass he offered, taking a small sip, savoring the taste.

“But you believe me. I wonder why.” I watched him closely and he scoffed.

“Between your father and Jungkook, no one ever really had the pluck to come anywhere near you did they?”

Undisputable.

I sighed, leaning back to stare at him.

“Do you think dying hurts?” I asked softly.

It was frightening, how his entire body went stiff, eyes wide and jaw dropping.

“Elena, what the fuck-“

“Its just a question. You’ve killed people. You’ve watched them die… how do you think they feel?” I asked , curious.

“None of them wanted to die. If that’s what you’re asking.” The look in his eyes made me nervous.

I stared at him and the question was obvious. None of them wanted to die, but do you?

I didn’t.

“I’m not thinking of killing myself , oppa. Stop looking so horrified.” I laughed. He shook his head.

“ Don’t joke about that. It’s not fucking funny.”

I sobered up, remembering with a jolt. Ah, of course.

“I’m sorry. I forgot.” I said quietly.

Hoseok’s little sister had killed herself when I was seventeen. She was a year older than me and her father had lost her in a wager to a seventy year old man, known for torturing his bedmates. She had heard the news, taken a deep breath and taken a deep dive off the seventeeth floor of the condo where she lived with her mother.

I’d been engaged to Jungkook by then. And I had almost wanted it. Jungkook wasn’t old at least… twenty one to my seventeen.

“Just so you know, he’s going to find out. And he’s not going to like it.”

I shrugged. Three years is a long time to be preyed upon and now my mind was resigned to a life of being hunted. Hoseok was right. Jungkook would find out and he wouldn’t like it.

Good.

“I don’t care what he does anymore. All I care is that Jisoo and the baby are left out of whatever plans he has…. If you promise me you’ll keep them safe , I’ll cooperate.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a baby boy.

I stared, fingers itching to hold the baby but it was impossible, the little one whisked away to the NICU right after with respiratory distress and Jisoo had gone into a seizure, eyes rolling back into her eyes.

She as alright now, resting in a VIP room with the best care money could buy. Hoseok had asked me if I was happy with the arrangements, and if I would name the boy after him.

I stared at the room, large and breezy and filled with flowers and gifts, toys and baby stuff and I knew right then that I had sealed my fate. I was going to have to go through with this. I could imagine how much Jisoo would protest when she came to her senses. The only relief was that it would take her a few days to be good enough to fight or protest. But then this would all be over and done with.

Jungkook would leave this afternoon. His flight was at three.

I would reach the club at five. The patrons would arrive at seven.

One night, I reminded myself , staring at the gentle rise and fall of Jisoo’s chest as she slept, my fingers playing with the soft skin on her wrist. The IV line went through her veins and I watched the gentle drip of it.

One night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I didn’t know how auctions happened and while I’d been prepared for the worst kind of humiliation, Hoseok assured me that he wasn’t going to make me stand naked on some podium or something.

“Generally, I would do something like that simply for the flair of it but consider this a favor ….a respite because you were, as you said, once a friend.” He gave me an even smile and I could only nod in mute relief.

I was grateful. Beyond grateful.

And what was more, he hadn’t told anyone, who I was.

That stunned me. Because wasn’t that the selling point? The murderous, greedy mob rat Gong Hyo Suk’s only daughter forced to spread her legs for one lucky stranger? If Hoseok had cashed in on that he would have made a fortune. But he hadn’t. I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Would , whoever it was be upset if he recognized me?

I was led to a bedroom, large and tastefully decorated with silky satin sheets and dark curtains and dim lighting that lit up parts of the room and left other parts plunged in darkness. Hoseok had told me to wear whatever I wanted and I realized with a pang that he really didn’t see this as some sort of transaction. He was trying to make it as easy as possible without making any decisions for me. Offering me choices and options and some illusion of being in control.

I didn’t have anything fancy so it was just a dress shirt that I borrowed from Hoseok. I’d left the underwear off, eager to merely get the whole thing over with. I felt a sudden overwhelming urge to laugh out loud.

If Jungkook were here he really would have lost his damn mind, simply because of how little this whole thing affected me. And that was it, really. He was always desperate for a reaction.

Earlier when this whole thing had started, I’d obliged him with that. I would scream, rant and yell….launch myself at him like a wildcat, scratching at him , fists flying and it was obscene, how much he seemed to enjoy that. He would press me up against walls and tables , fingers choking the breath out of my lung, just so he could see me struggle and push back.

He fed off from every negative reaction I offered him and it had taken me a long long time that the way to beat him was to become passive, unresponsive. I would go limp in his arms, stare at him blankly as he tried to manhandle me and that…that had pissed him off. Because that meant I wasn’t playing his game anymore.

If the prey wasn’t playing, the game wasn’t fun anymore. It was drab.

Boring.

And I knew that Jungkook kept raising the stakes, kept tightening the noose around my neck….just to bring that girl out again. The one that had wanted to put up a fight . The one that wanted to mouth off even with the muzzle of a gun pressed against her head. The one who would spit in his face in front of all his associates, even if it earned her a vicious strike of his hand across her face.

I shuddered. They weren’t memories I liked reliving.

Well, if that was who he wanted, I’d make sure he would never see her again.

The door opening made me jump and Hoseok came in , with a wide grin on his face.

“Baby…. Your guest for the night.” He said softly and I peered over his shoulders, my heart and mind grinding to a halt when I caught sight of what had to be the most breathtakingly beautiful man on the face of the planet.

I felt my heart begin to pound, fear taking over because this wasn’t okay. Not really. I was okay with old, creepy and disgusting , not able to get it up for more than ten minutes.

I wasn’t okay with someone who looked like they stepped right out of the latest issue of GQ.

Hoseok left quickly, closing the door behind him and the man stepped into the light, the brightness lighting up his perfect features even more. I felt my throat go dry, and fought the urge to get up and run. Growing up as the daughter of a mobster , I’d learned how to trust my instincts over appearances.

And right now, every single one of those instincts screamed at me that this man was absolutely dangerous.

“Well, you are beautiful. I’ll give you that. “ He said casually.

“Thank you.” I said stiltedly, watching as he tugged on his tie, pulling it off his neck deftly . Instead of tossing it aside , he wrapped it a bunch of times around his wrist over and over as he smiled at me.

“Don’t thank me yet. The only reason I like beautiful things is because of how easily they break.” He smiled. “ I haven’t been with a virgin in a while…. I miss the screams.”

And there it was the full blown panic that came with stark terror. I crawled back on the bed, staring as he moved closer and there was no mistaking the look on his face, the harsh grip of his hand on my ankle telling me that I was going to regret every one of the choices that led me here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hoseok wasn’t at the airport.” Jungkook observed casually, glancing at Yoongi as the latter finished cleaning his gun carefully, eyes fixed on his weapon with utmost concentration.

“He’s holding some sort of auction tonight. Some chick …” Yoongi said casually and Jungkook hummed. It was not the kind of thing he was interested in. Anonymous bids were often boring : actresses or female idols past their prime, desperate to make some money to survive. He had no interest in those but he was a little peeved that Hoseok hadn’t told him anything about it.

Hoseok was one of Jungkook’s most trusted friends. He was almost as powerfully rich as Jungkook and the only reason Jungkook reigned supreme was because Hoseok had no interest in challenging him for the throne. Hoseok was dangerous and cunning and loyal and Jungkook was grateful to have him on his side and he had hoped to see him before leaving. Just to ask him to keep an eye on Elena.

He grimaced, hating himself.

God, he couldn’t go two hours without thinking of her. It fucked with his head, the amount of space she took up inside him. Jungkook , for all his wealth and power, was driven solely by his need to prove himself. He wanted to be powerful and terrifying yes, but more than that , he wanted people to know.

He wanted people to look him in the eye and acknowledge him for what he was : the most dangerous man in the country. He liked seeing that fear, that worship, that admiration. He got off on it. He wanted it , craved it and for some reason he craved it more from her , than anyone else.

And instead of giving him what he wanted, instead of begging on her knees for mercy, instead of licking his shoes and begging for him to let her live….she ignored him. She looked at him with defiance and pride, her chin straight and her back unbending, her gaze locked right on him like she was his fucking equal….

And Jungkook, he’d taken a lot of insults. Taken more than his fair share of hits in life …..

But when she looked at him like that , like he was something stuck to the bottom of her shoe….

Fuck it drove him wild with fury.

It made him want to teach her a fucking lesson, to remind her that he owned her because he owned everything. To break her down, snuff out the flames of defiance that burned so bright in those ember eyes… Take her into his bed and brand her with his body. Till she was on the floor, on her knees covered in his spit and cum begging for mercy….

Because no one looked at Jeon Jungkook like that and lived to tell the tale..

“Seokjin’s here. Landed in Korea a couple of hours ago. ” Yoongi said casually and Jungkook smiled a bit at that. He loved his older brother, technically a step brother and growing up he had only saw him when he visited his mother in China. That meant a couple of months a year and now as adults, a bit more often because Seokjin loved Jungkook and liked to visit him often.

Seokjin was a celebrity trainer, working with actors and athletes and he did a good amount of modeling as well. He was rich, handsome and well liked and the only thing that gave away the Jeon blood in him was the fact that he was a sexual sadist.

The face of an angel with a devilish streak, he had a penchant for sadism and inflicting pain on his partners and while Jungkook didn’t particularly enjoy indulging him, he knew there were women who were into that and usually had them arranged for when Seokjin dropped by in Korea. His hyung’s visit seldom lasted more than a few weeks at a time and it was a pity that he would miss out one whole week of it .

But the issue in Switzerland was a little pressing and Jungkook had to be there in person to sort it out.

He leaned back against the seat, staring out of the window, sighing.

“An unsullied dove ….What the fuck is this shit..” Yoongi muttered and Jungkook turned, curious.

“What?”

“Hoseok’s been hyping up some new girl for the auction and Seokjin hyung’s bidding on her.”

Jungkook laughed at that.

“Jungkook…..” Yoongi’s voice is completely stunned, his eyes confused as he looks up at Jungkook.” Its Elena.”

Jungkook’s thought process came to a grinding halt.

There’s a sound between his ears, a dull rushing sound like the wind in a storm and he can’t quite comprehend what he just heard. Even Namjoon who had been buried in his laptop , looked up then, tugging an airpod out of his ear.

“Wait…did you say Elena?” His eyes were wide , lips parted in shock. Yoongi and Namjoon exchanged glances, no doubt bracing themselves for the explosion that was to follow.

Jungkook took a deep breath.

“Turn the fucking plane around.”

That jolted Namjoon out of his stunned stupor..

“Turn-? Jungkook what…. We’re on a fourteen hour flight-“ Namjoon began but the look on Jungkook’s face made him stop.

“DID I FUCKING STUTTER?”

Namjoon swore.

“Fucking hell… alright just calm the fuck down, Jesus…just put a fucking bullet in that girl’s head and spare us all the headache fuck…” He growled, unbuckling his seat belt and rushing to the cockpit and Yoongi groaned.

“ Let me guess you want me to get in touch with someone in Seoul and ask Hoseok to hold off on letting Seokjin near her…”

Jungkook glared at him.

“If you already know that why the fuck are you still here…” He growled and Yoongi gave him a look.

“Just tell her you’re in love with her and let us live, Jeon Jungkook.”

In love….. what the fuck….

He glared at Yoongi’s back, his asinine words making him madder. God he wanted to crush someone’s skull into dust with his bare hands.

And right now, in his head , that skull belonged to Jung fucking Hoseok.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What just happened?” I asked, frantic staring at the door as Hoseok’s men casually led a fuming Seokjin away while the man himself stared at me, looking pale as parchment.

“ Jungkook found out.” He said shortly and I felt my heart drop although I was half relieved because there had been something insane in Kim Seokjin’s gaze when he’d reached for me , a cruel glint of hunger that told me he would have hurt me really badly if Hoseok hadn’t barged into the room , frantic and worried.

He had given Seokjin a wide smile and then, “ I’m so sorry. We were waiting on her blood results and turns out she has a…. well, certain occupational disease that is very infectious.”

Seokjin’s mouth had dropped open even wider than mine.

“I thought she was a fucking virgin.” He had snapped, and I flinched at how cold and furious he had sounded.

But apparently there was a reason this whole thing had happened.

“What do you mean Jungkook knows? What does that mean?” I asked frantically, fear taking over.

“ He’s heading back here… He wants to see you.”

I felt my entire body go ice cold as I shook my head…

“No…fucking no bring Seokjin back here , he can fuck me that was the fucking deal, Hobi, please don’t../…”

“Elena , I’m so fucking sorry.. Seokjin…he’s fucked in the head…. He likes hurting his whores, likes making them bleed and he would have fucking destroyed you…”

I gaped at him horrified.

“What?!” I hissed shaking my head in disbelief.

“He’s Jungkook’ stepbrother. I’ve arranged whores for him before, I knew he was a little crazy but I’d never seen him before and I didn’t know he was the Kim Seokjin…fuck he outbid everyone and fucker looks like a fucking angel, how the fuck was I supposed to know he’s unhinged? Thankfully, I messaged Yoongi and …. Fuck… Listen… I know I paid for your sister’s surgery but you’re going to have to pay me back….”

I felt my body convulse in rebellion.

“I can’t.. You know I fucking can’t…”

“I can’t make an enemy out of Jungkook…. I can’t.” Hoseok shook his head. “ You can get out of here now if you want but I’d advise you to stay. If you run it’s only going to make Jungkook angrier.”

“WHAT DID I FUCKING DO TO HIM?!!!” I screamed, feeling my composure crumble into smithereens. “WHAT THE FUCK DOES HE WANT FROM ME?!!”

Hoseok flinched, stepping back and holding his hands up.

“Whether I want to or not, I answer to Jungkook. I shouldn’t have done this in the first place , I’m sorry Elena.” He shook his head and stepped back like the coward that he was and I wanted to hurt him. To shake him and ask him to fucking remember who I was. That I had nothing to do with my father’s sins . That I had been a fucking marionette in his hands, had wanted nothing more than to be left alone.

I stared at him in disbelief.

“So much for being a friend…” I whispered.

His jaw tightened. But he didn’t look guilty. None of them ever did. It was like guilt didn’t exist in their world. They did what they wanted to whoever they wanted , whenever they wanted and they got away with it because that bastard’s word was law. What Jeon Jungkook wanted, he got.

“I’ll get your clothes sent in.”

I watched him leave, the door slamming shut behind him and sagged against the bed, staring at myself. What had just happened?

Was I born to endless misery and misfortune?

Couldn’t I catch a fucking break?

I’d agreed to sell myself hadn’t I? Would have even let Seokjin hurt me if that was what he wanted. Because it was one night. It was one night of this…whatever the hell this was and then freedom. That was the deal.

The door opened again and I stared as a young girl brought me a pile of my clothes neatly folded.

“Do you work here?” I said sharply.

She blinked before bowing her head.

“Yes, mistress.”

I scoffed.

“Don’t call me mistress , I’m here to get fucked, just like you. Tell me does Jungkook ever use the women here.” I demanded.

She looked trapped, glancing at the door, clearly wanting to run .

“Tell me.” I snapped and she flinched.

“I..uh..yes. Sometimes.” She said softly.

“Can you tell whoever fucks him next to kick him in the fucking balls?”

The girl bowed deeply and all but ran out and I sighed, feeling myself shaking. Jungkook was on the way here and I wanted to yell and scream and rave at him but I knew that was exactly what he wanted. I wanted to deny him the satisfaction …wanted to act all cool and composed in front of him but it was impossible…

Because I hadn’t realized just how tired I was of this whole thing, till right this moment, when the end had been in sight. I was supposed to get my two billion won pay off all the debt , give Jisoo the rest of the money and disappear. I was so tired, so tired of this life I’d gotten trapped into, slaving over for hours on end just to afford a couple of meals a day. No friends, no boyfriends, no hope of a future …..

The door banged open and I jumped, crawling back when I recognized the man who had just entered.

“Yoongi-“

“Jungkook wants to see you.” He ground out and I swallowed.

“I need to get dressed. Please just wait outside.” I said shakily.

And then the door opened further and a tall looming shadow stepped in familiar and vomit inducing.

Jungkook looked livid, piercing glinting through the dimply lit room and I stared at him. He was dressed in a tight black t shirt, he sleeves stretched thin over his biceps and the tattoos stark against his skin.

“Leave us.” He said softly and Yoongi moved away to the door leaving me alone with the devil himself. I cursed myself for not putting at least my panties on, I was naked underneath this shirt and although it was big it left nothing to the imagination.

Jungkook’s eyes raked over my form before resting on my face.

“You think you’re smart enough to outsmart me, Elena?” He whispered softly.

I swallowed.

“Send you brother back in. He can fuck me and I’ll pay you back.”

Jungkook hummed, stepping closer and grabbing my clothes from the bed, he grabbed the plain white bra and the pastel pink underwear and then to my complete and utter mortification he brought the clothing up to his face, breathing in .

“Fucking pervert!!!” I screamed, feeling the action like a physical touch and wanting to claw his eyes out and the smirk on his face told me that this was exactly what he wanted but I was too fucking gone to care.

“If you want me to be a whore, fine. I’ll be a whore. But on my terms…” I spat out and he shook his head, laughing.

“I don’t just want you to be a whore, Elena. I want everyone to know that you are one…” He dropped my clothes and moved closer, holding a hand out. “ Come here.”

I stared at the inked fingers, adorned with sterling silver rings and bracelets with the motifs of his gang. I shook my head.

“No. I’m not playing this game with you.” I turned my face away.

His hand shot out gripping my upper arm with enough strength to bruise and I screamed, agony shooting up my arm and shoulders as he dragged me off the bed and onto the floor. I landed hard, hips and elbows bruising from impact and I stared at him in disbelief.

“I’ve been to gentle with you. You’ve forgotten your fucking place.” He bent over and grabbed me by my hair, yanking me to my feet so hard that it felt like my scalp had been ripped away from my skull.

“Okay…okay…Okay Jungkook..just…!!” I said softly, flinching because my pain tolerance was almost zero and Jungkook’s grip was so hard that my eyes were beginning to water now. He let me go, grabbing my panties off the floor and tossing them at me.

“I’m going to count to five. Put those on and get out.”

He walked out of the door and I stumbled a little fumbling with the fabric before quickly, slipping my legs in and yanking it up to my waist. I made to put on something else but his voice came, loud and impatient.

“Get the fuck out here.”

I walked out of the door and he was standing there next to Hoseok. I couldn’t meet either of their gazes , hating how they had so much power over my life. I stared at the floor. It was tempting to yell at them and scream but that never led anywhere.

“ I’ve asked them to stop the payment on the Hospital bill. Seeing as Elena hasn’t kept her end of the bargain.”

I felt my breath hitch at that, willing down the tears as I glared at him.

“What do you want?” I snapped. “ Tell me who you want me to fuck…. I’ll do it. Let’s get this over with so you can go back to whatever sewer you fucking climbed out of. ….”

Hoseok’s breath caught like he couldn’t believe what I’d just said and the look in his eye was a warning but I was sick of this. Sick of them all.

Jungkook turned to Hoseok with a laugh.

“You see hyung? See why I can’t let her go? If I let her scot free, everyone’s going to think I’m a pushover….that any worthless bitch can talk to me any way she wants and get away with it….” He shook his head, staring at me with a glint in his eye. “ I’m not going to choose. They are. You think you can charm your way into Hoseok’s heart and get special treatment? You think you’re ready to be a whore, Elena? Let me show you how a real whore gets treated in Hoseok’s club.”

He gripped my wrist, yanking me behind him as he stalked off down the narrow corridor that opened up into the club. I let myself get dragged out into the club dismally aware of the fact that I was wearing nothing but Hoseok’s shirt. I could feel eyes on me but I kept mine on the back of Jungkook’s head as he dragged me all the way to the front. I knew what he was going to do and at this point I was just numb.

There was no point reasoning with the devil.

I glared at him as he pointed at the stage. “ Get up there.” He whispered harshly.

I stared back at him, not moving. I saw Jungkook’s jaw clench.

“Either you go up there by yourself, with your clothes on. Or I carry you up there, after stripping you naked. What’s it going to be? ”

I glared at him, pursing my lips before climbing up using the small stair in the side. I moved to the center, right in front of the stage lights, so the rest of the room would disappear. I had no wish to see any of the bastards in the room.

“I think all of you recognize this little beauty here, don’t you?” Jungkook’s voice was cheerful, friendly even and I bit my lips, fists clenched. “ Well, if you don’t let me tell you . This is Gong Hyo Suk’s daughter. Remember that bastard? He put a hit out on my father. Killed him and my mom on the night I was supposed to be marrying his fucking daughter. A daughter who later called off the wedding, because I was too poor now, to give her the life she deserved. ”

I felt the familiar ice cold guilt in my vein. I was seventeen, I wanted to scream. I was seventeen and all I did was say what my father asked me to say, do what my father asked me to do.

“ That was nine fucking years ago… and you know what I told myself…. I told myself, that a greedy little bitch like this, doesn’t deserve shit.” He laughed. “ If money’s what she values the most, then the only thing she deserves is to be treated like the whore she is.”

“Why don’t you guys tell me, how much money you’d be willing to spend, to fuck her? Come on, Hobi’s been treating you guys so well lets help him make some money tonight… be generous. ”

I could barely hear what they were calling out but when Jungkook climbed onto the stage next to me, I jumped. Moving back instinctively, I winced when brought a forearm around my throat nearly choking me as he dragged up against his body.

“90 million won….That’s a lot.” He grinned. “ Jihan hyung….. that was you right? You’re gonna pay 90 million won for her?”

I felt my heart race, it was a lot. More than enough for the Hospital Bills, would even leave extra to get a decent apartment somewhere... I grabbed his wrist as it pressed into my throat, trying to pull his hand off me but he just wrapped his free hand around my waist, wrapping his entire body around mine and chuckling into my hair.

Jungkook pressed his head against mine and I froze, hating the close contact.

“Okay…but since I’m feeling a bit left out here…Why don’t I pitch in… 500 Won.” Jungkook said loud and clear.

I froze. An eerie silence fell over the club, laughter stilling and the clink of glasses slowing down.

What.

I struggled to get away from his but his hold tightened.

“Anyone else?” He called out. “ Come on… Not even thousand? Surely you think this one here’s worth a thousand won? Aren’t you going to outbid me?”

No one responded of course they didn’t. Jungkook’s anger was palpable and no one was going to get on his wrong side …..

“Ahh… is that it then? Bid’s going to close for 500 won then…. Hear that baby?” He whispered against my ears and I swallowed. “ 90, million won to five hundred won in a few seconds… What does that tell you?”

“It tells me you’re a fucking psychopath in love with your own voice… Get off me.” I hissed.

“No. What it tells you is that only I get to decide how much that body of yours is worth, not you. . You don’t get to go sell your fucking body behind my back for two billion won and then pay off all your debts and ride off into the sunset, that is not how this works….”

I went limp in his arms fighting tears because he never played fair. Never.

“Hear that Hoseok-ah… I win her for the night for 500 won…fair and square…. Is that alright?” He called out into the darkness and I felt the first inkling of dread begin to seep in.

“No.. No… get off me.” I hissed and he laughed, dragging me off the stage with ease. I screamed, kicking out in disbelief.

Jungkook grinned at me, before grabbing both my arms and yanking them behind me, and I whimpered, unable to move as he easily pulled me along to the door that opened into the hallway. Behind us I heard Hoseok’s voice.

“Jungkook, don’t be impulsive. Think about whatever you’re going to do.”

I flinched at that, panic building.

“He’s not going to do anything. I’ll fucking kill him if he touches me , I-“

“Shut the fuck up, you little bitch.” He shook me hard till my teeth rattled and I sobbed out.

“Jungkook…” Hoseok warned but he merely snarled.

“I know what I’m doing hyung, just…. Don’t disturb us. And make sure everyone here knows that she’s open for business.” It was loud enough to carry through the club and I felt humiliation burn my throat, acrid like acid.

I froze in disbelief.

“Jungkook …” Hoseok’s voice held a tone of reproach.

“ And tell them that her body is amazing. Tell them she spent the night with me , the best fuck I’ve ever had , mouth made for cock.”

I stared straight ahead as he pulled me all the way to the room we had left earlier and I tripped when he shoved me inside, landing on my hands and knees . I quickly rolled back around to land on my ass, crawling back as he slammed the door shut and locked it from the inside.

He stared down at me, mouth grim.

“You do owe me a wedding night. I was so ready to fuck your tight cunt, nine years ago… I think I’ve waited long enough yeah.”

I stared at him in disbelief. I knew exactly what he wanted me to do, to yell and scream and protest and fight so he could get off and forcing me…. Fucking psychopath.

I took a deep breath and nodded.

“If you pay for my sister in laws bills, and give me an apartment sure. “ I shrugged. “You’re not any different from any of the bastards here. I don’t give a damn which one of you idiots wants to rut into me like the absolute animal that you are…. I don’t care…” I said softly.

“you don’t? Really? You want me to tell you what your brother said when one of my men put a gun into his mouth…. He begged for his life…said he had a kid on the way….” Jungkook laughed, shaking his head. “I told him it was better than what his father did…. My sister was six months pregnant when his lieutenant gunned her down on the streets.”

I shuddered, wrapping my arms around myself.

“Why are you telling me this…” I snapped.

“Because she didn’t deserve it did she, Elena? She didn’t fucking deserve to die like that , like a dog on the street when she had nothing to do with any of this…. She didn’t deserve it.” He growled, bending down and gripping my chin hard.

“Maybe she did deserve it.” I spat out. “ If I deserve to be here, maybe your sister deserved to die too. “

He snarled, hand flying to my hair and dragging me up off the floor in one sharp yank. I whimpered as he pushed me on the bed, before climbing on top of me. I felt like every bone in my body was about to snap in two, the weight of him unbearable on me.

“I won the bid tonight…. I won it fair and square… You signed the waiver didn’t you…that you agreed to the auction…I won and I’m going to fucking collect.” He growled, and I kicked out, trying to buck him off of my body.

“Get off me.” I hissed. “ I’m not letting you fuck me for 500 won.”

“How about for your Jisoo then?” He whispered and I went still.

“What?”

He chuckled, reaching down and I felt my pulse pound as he pulled his phone out, dialing quickly and turning on the speakers.

Yoongi’s voice made me go ice cold. Everyone knew what Yoongi did for Jungkook.

“Daehwan’s wife is in a hospital room in Yongsan. Hobi’s got the details. I think she’s served her purpose.”

“No!! JUNGKOOK NO!!” I screamed , thrashing so hard my head began to spin but he grunted pressing down into me harder.

“Are you serious? I’m not home yet… I can take care of it tonight.” Yoongi said, voice casual and I sobbed, shaking my head in sheer terror.

“Okay… I’ll behave.. I promise.. please just don’t…”

Jungkook hummed.

“Well, that was easy… Yoongi-yah… why don’t you stay on the phone yeah…. Going to get that wedding night I’m owed and if my baby doesn’t co operate you know what to do, yeah?”

I bit my lips, glaring into the sheets as he gripped my waist, pulling me up.

“Ass up like the bitch that you are, baby.” He whispered and I felt my entire body shudder in disgust. It was worse because I hadn’t done this before. Didn’t know what to expect. But I couldn’t let him know that. If Jungkook knew that I was a virgin, I could just imagine how much fun he’d have with that info.

Hands gripped my wrists, pinning them to the bed and I turned my face away when I felt the press of his lips on my cheeks. He gripped both my wrists with one hand, keeping them pinned over my head and I flinched when I felt his fingers pulling the fabric of my panties aside, just enough for the blunt head of his cock to press against my slit.

“Yoongi, you there?” Jungkook said softly and Yoongi grunted over the phone. I felt my face flame in embarrassment.

“You’re a sick bastard but I’m used to it. What’s up?” he said casually.

“Remember how we used to wonder just how tight Elena’s cunt was… back when we were in school.”

Fucking monster, I thought in disbelief. I hate him I hate him I hate him….

“Good times…” Yoongi chuckled lightly .

Jungkook pushed into me in one hard thrust and pain shot straight up my spine, my insides burning like he’d fucked me with a knife and not his body. I couldn’t stop the cry of agony that got torn of me, my eyes tearing up and tears spilling over onto my cheeks.

“Damn Jungkook, she okay?” Yoongi’s chuckle made me want to claw his face off, and just the urge to kill was growing inside me.

“Well, I can confirm that it is, in fact just as tight as we thought…” He grunted, thrusting into me at a pace that was inhumane, every push and drag of him rubbing my insides raw and I bit down on the sheets under me, afraid that I would do something absolutely humiliating, like beg him to stop.

“Good, you should let me take that tight ass for a ride someday then. With her permission of course…. I’m a gentleman after all. Big on consent.” He laughed and I swallowed the urge to tell him that I would puncture his balls with a switchblade if he came anywhere near me.

“Oh, she’s going to do whatever I ask her to….aren’t you baby…” He grunted, “ Turn around so I can see you.”

He pulled out of me, his weight lifting off my body as he moved away. I couldn’t move, limbs numb and insides throbbing in pain . His palm landed on my thigh, hard and the sharp sting of it made me jump.

“I said turn around, I want to see your face when I fuck you.” Jungkook growled. I stayed limp, breathing hard and he grunted impatient, fingers sinking into my hair , yanking me to my knees and the movement made my legs scream in protest.

“How’s she so quiet? You fucked the voice out of her, kook-ah?” Yoongi asked amused and Jungkook pulled me by the hair, dragging me to the center and pushing me down till my head landed on the pillow.

“Hyung you should see her right now, all fucked out …. Like she’s never had a dick in her before.” He shook his head, “ Fucking slut. Take that off and hold yourself open for me.”

I stared at him, uncomprehending and he grabbed both my hands, placing them on my knees.

“Grab your knees and pull your legs back… So I can fuck that tight cunt the way I want to.” He said slowly, like I was a dog he was trying to train and I stared at him , defiantly.

“ Go to hell.” I whispered.

Yoongi’s laughter came from somewhere to the right.

“Your dirty talk needs work, Kook ah… Tell her she’s a precious little kitten and she makes you feel really good…. Bitches love that shit…”

Jungkook hovered over me, grabbing the back of my thighs and spreading them wide enough to make me whimper in pain.

“Is that so babygirl? You want me to tell you that? That you make daddy’s cock feel good?” He cooed, nudging the tip against me again and I had never hated anyone so much in my life. I stared up at his face, and he smiled at me, a cheeky little grin that made his bunny teeth stand out and for a second he looked so deceptively angelic and the glimmer of his piercing caught my eye.

I couldn’t help but swallow, gaze trained on the glint of metal on his tongue.

“You like that?” He grinned suddenly, sticking his tongue out for me to see, I felt my eyes widen at how sinfully good he looked .” Hyung she likes my tongue piercing.”

“Show her how it feels on her clit.” Yoongi laughed and I could barely fully process what I heard before Jungkook was crawling down my body, arms, curling on my thighs and yanking me onto his tongue .

I felt the press of his tongue on my slit, licking right into me and the jolt of pleasure was so unexpected, the pleasure so unwanted and yet so overwhelming and I couldn’t stop the way my body thrashed against the streets, lips parted as I practically mewled out in pleasure.

“Definitely a kitten…” Yoongi called out and I shuddered as Jungkook slipped two fingers into me , the ice cold press of his ring inside me making me jump. I wanted to pull away, grab his hair and yank him off but I couldn’t because it was

“Next time I’ll put the dick piercing in too, yeah? Fuck you with a bit of metal on my cock so you can feel that up there…. ” He laughed into my thighs and I screamed when he bit into the flesh there , hard.

“I’m getting bored… Either turn on facetime so I can at least jerk off to this , or I’m hanging up…” Yoongi called out .

“Hyung she clenches down on me every time she hears your voice… Just stay on for a few more minutes yeah, she tastes so fucking good, I’m gonna cum soon….” Jungkook added another finger, slipping in deep before spreading them apart inside me. I whimpered when he pushed his tongue in between the wet digits, licking into my walls and I could feel the ball of his piercing drag against my walls, ice cold and hard.

Was it fucked up that I did clench down on him again, my body apparently a slave to my base desires even as my mind screamed that he was the absolute worst bastard on the face of the planet.

“Elena, you owe me a blowjob at least for this…” Yoongi called out and I glared at the phone.

“I’ll bite your fucking dick off if you come anywhere near me.” I snapped.

“Fuck, I could get off just to that mouthy fuckhole of hers…..” Yoongi grunted.

Jungkook pulled away, climbing back up over me and lightly slapping my breasts.

“Now, how about you open that mouth and let me fuck it?”

Yoongi snorted from behind us and Jungkook glared at the phone before glaring at me again.

“Well?”

“You want to know how hard I can bite?” I said sharply, the pleasure ebbing away into nothing and resentment taking it place, the momentarily physicality of the situation fading and the reminder of who he was and who I was entering my sex addled brain.

“No.. You’re right…. But you know what, I’m not feeling it anymore. I was right.. you really aren’t qualified to be my whore. Your body…it’s frigid like a fucking popsicle…such a fucking turn off. ” He reached over and hung up on the phone.

“Now…”he whispered, leaning in closer and I yelped, when his fingers closed over my throat..” Shut your mouth and take what I give you like a grateful bitch.”

I swallowed when he pushed into me again, his pace steady as he fucked into me, eyes closed and I realized that he was almost fully dressed having just unbuttoned himself enough to get his cock out.

When he stiffened, spilling into me his eyes blew open and he locked eyes with me, wide eyed and for one horrible second he looked young and vulnerable and hurt.

I blinked as he pulled out, the sticky warm mess of his cum dripping down my inner thighs and onto the sheets.

“Well, that was much worse than I thought it would be.” He said and I stayed on the bed as he grabbed his phone and buttoned himself back up.

He smirked at me and then reached into his pocket.

I quickly pulled myself together, ignoring the aches and pains and getting to my knees before reaching for my dress on the bed. it was kind of pointless because I still had Hoseok’s shirt on and I wasn’t going to take that off in front of Jungkook.

“Well, I’m a man of my word , Elena so…here you go..just as we discussed.” He tossed a coin on the bed and I stared at the engraved 500 on the shiny surface, feeling my rage swell inside me.

“If you still want to work out a payment plan for your sister’s bills …. Why don’t you come to my office tomorrow?” He tossed his card on the bed before moving away to the door.

Fucking bastard.

Author’s note : My whole life is filled with regrets .

#jungkook smut #bts smut #ts fics #jungkook fics #bts fanfic #jungkook mafia au #bts mafia au

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mochegato · 3 years

Text

Well, Well, Well, If It Isn’t the Consequences of My Actions

Continuation of Truth Be Told

Marinette was still trying to parse through the events of the previous night. Time, advice from Tikki, sleep, hysterical laughter, and the alcohol she’d drunk as soon as she’d gotten home hadn’t really helped. To make it worse, Adrien had noticed something was up with her and had followed her to her studio so he could make sure she was okay, so she hadn’t been able to continue her breakdown in peace, because that would mean explaining the previous night to him. And although Red H… Jason may have issues with secret identities, she did not.

She looked at her notice-free phone again with a sigh. Maybe she should restart it. Maybe he had tried calling or texting, but her phone wasn’t working correctly. That had happened before, right? That would explain why he hadn’t tried to contact her yet. Or, maybe with a more sober mind, he had decided he really wasn’t that interested. Or! Or he didn’t remember her. Maybe he didn’t remember anything about her and was staring at his own phone right now in utter confusion about why her number was in it.

She was brought out of her spiral by the sound of the bell over the door. “Sorry we’re…” she started until she saw who it was, “…closed.” Her breath caught for a second when Jason smiled charmingly at her. “Oh no, no, no, no,” she muttered to herself, glancing over at Adrien nervously. This could not be happening right now. He was supposed to call or text. Not… how did he even know where she would be? Damned bats.

Adrien perked up from his spot grading students’ papers, an incredulous grin on his lips. “Oh my God, please tell me that’s Rose’s boy that you told to fuck off. Can I get rid of him, please? I haven’t gotten to be destructive in a while.”

Marinette wrinkled her face in disgust at the idea of seeing that guy again. “No! He happened after,” she said getting up to meet Jason.

“You ran into him after your date? How dare you not tell me about him!” Adrien hissed at her as she walked away.

She turned around to face him as she walked away. “Oh, I dare,” she hissed back.

“Is he why you’ve been so off today?” he whisper yelled.

“Weren’t you going to go get some coffee? Now?” She called back.

Adrien looked between the two of them and raised an eyebrow at Marinette making sure she really wanted to be left alone with this guy who was easily as big as her dad. “Yeah. I need… caffeine apparently. Something for you too?” She nodded at him, but kept her eyes on Jason. “Hey guy I’m suspiciously not allowed to talk to, you want anything from the coffee shop?”

Jason’s eyes flicked over to him for a few seconds to shake his head. “No, thank you. I’m fine.”

“Yeah, you are,” Marinette whispered to herself, not anticipating Adrien passing by just then on his way out the door.

“Heard that,” he grinned before leaving.

Marinette glared at him but quickly returned her gaze to Jason. Once she was sure Adrien had gone and couldn’t hear them, Marinette finally broke the silence. “I was expecting a call or a text,” she said carefully. “Not that I mind the in-person appearance,” she added quickly. “It was just… unexpected,” she finished awkwardly.

“I could have sworn you said to meet you at your work,” Jason said a little more innocently than was natural. Marinette smiled, but quickly schooled her expression and shook her head. Jason smiled back and shrugged. “Huh, must be the memory lapses. Kind of hazy. Things come in and out.” He knocked his knuckles against his head lightly.

Marinette raised an eyebrow. “Is that so?”

“Yep,” he nodded popping the P. His smile morphed into a smirk.

“Poor you,” she pouted in mock sympathy. “Then I don't suppose you remember the proposal.”

Jason's smirk dropped. This time his wide eyes looked completely natural and believable. “Proposal?” he asked apprehensively.

“Yeah, the proposal,” she prompted him. “Don't tell me you forgot about it,” she continued, her own eyes going wide to match his and her voice turning timid. “You said you didn't have a ring on you, but you couldn't imagine living another day without me. You wanted to get married as soon as possible. Oh no.” She gasped quietly for effect. “You have forgotten.”

Jason blinked a few times. He was doing a masterful job of containing any outward signs of his panic. Marinette could just barely see a few flickers in his eyes that he quickly tamped out. “What? No! No, no, no. That’s just… No, no, not at all,” he stammered. “It's just, that's so…” he chuckled nervously, “so not like me. I'm just... impressed how, uh… how bold I was,” he offered.

Marinette watched him closely for a few seconds before she burst out laughing. Jason's jaw dropped to the floor. “You were joking,” he observed in awe. Marinette couldn't answer. She was gasping too hard for breath, doubled over and grasping her sides. “Oh thank God. I want to be mad but I'm just too grateful. Shit, you almost gave me a heart attack.”

Marinette grinned at him when her laughs finally edged down to chuckles. “Well, that seems fair. You almost gave me quite a few last night. And your brother, I think.”

Jason grimaced. “Was I that bad?”

Marinette quirked her head to the side in thought. “No, not bad. Just… like when you just kind of stared at me for a few minutes, without saying anything, which apparently was because you were impressed but I thought it was because you were a serial killer.” Jason chuckled lightly and bobbed his head in apology. “Or when you revealed your face, no mask. Or, when you told me your full name and your brother’s first name, and that he was your brother.”

Jason winced at that revelation. That would explain the dagger he was almost too sluggish to dodge this morning. And the glares and lecture on the importance of security and identities. “Maybe not my finest moment,” he conceded as he rubbed the back of his neck.

Marinette giggled at that. “Maybe not, but you were extremely drugged and extremely endearing.” She looked down, a light blush settling on her cheeks. “And very complimentary.”

“Well, that’s good at least. I don’t really remember anything I said.” He rubbed the back of his neck and shuffled his feet, looking around the store instead of at her. “So, did you want to talk about last night?” he offered a bit more casually than was natural.

Marinette could see the discomfort in his eyes even if they weren’t pointed at her. She smiled kindly at him, hoping it would put him at ease. “Why? You worried that you said something embarrassing?” she teased lightly. “You didn’t.”

“Not really,” he shrugged and looked back at her and relaxed into a charming smile. “I don't embarrass that easily. And if I said anything I should be embarrassed about, you wouldn't have given me your number.”

Marinette scoffed at him and leaned against the table they were next to. “I gave you my number, so you’d stop giving me clues to your identity… and your brother’s. Didn’t work. You were quite determined.”

“I must have thought you were worth it,” Jason smiled. “High me is a very astute me.” Marinette blushed at the sincerity in his eyes. How was he still this charming even when he wasn’t blitzed out of his mind? “But,” he continued with renewed vigor, “if I’d done anything too bad, you would have told me already, or kicked me out.”

Marinette laughed lightly. “Well, you’re not wrong.” She looked back up after a beat with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. “So, the background check on me is complete then? You’re allowed to interact with me now.”

Jason rolled his eyes and leaned closer to her over the table. “I mean, the blood sample results were good. Your cholesterol is a little high, by the way,” he started thoughtfully. “It was kind of you to donate though. Very conscientious. And you really should call your parents. It’s been a few days.” Marinette paled significantly as he continued to speak. Jason grinned. “And we have an appointment to talk to your first boyfriend.”

Marinette rolled her eyes and let out a relieved laugh. “You reached for the sun with that one and your wings melted.” He looked at her questioningly. “He would have told me if he had an interview with anyone. We talk a lot. Not to mention why do that when you could just interview him in person. He’ll be in town for his tour next week anyway.”

“Wait… really?”

“You didn’t even know who it was?” Marinette laughed.

“I’m sure my family have been doing extensive research on you and they probably know, but I didn’t have anything to do with it. If there was anything bad, they would tell me, otherwise I want to find out from you,” he answered sincerely and taking her hand. “The only thing I know about you is your name and that’s only because you put it in my phone. I had a vague recollection of what you looked like and being incredibly impressed with you, but that’s pretty much it. That’s one of the reasons I wanted to come down in person, to see if…” he searched for the best way to finish the thought.

Marinette nodded. “To see if the chemistry was as good as you remember? To see if it was still good when you weren’t drugged?” she offered nervously.

“Yeah,” Jason agreed. “You too?”

Marinette took a breath and looked back up at him through her lashes, giving his hand a squeeze. “Yeah. I was nervous it was all because of the drugs.”

Jason gave her a relieved smile. At least he wasn’t the only one nervous about it. He wasn’t alone in this. She was navigating it with him. He squeezed her hand back. “So,” he started, leaning back to give her a roguish grin, but keeping a grip on her hand, “who is the ex-boyfriend on tour?”

“Luka Couffaine.”

“Guitarist for Jagged Stone!” he exclaimed loudly, his eyes wide in surprise.

“Yeah. I mean he wasn’t at the time. But now, yes.” Her eyes shone with mirth at his awed expression. “Did you want to meet him?”

“What? No! That’s… that would be weird, wanting to meet your girlfriend’s ex and his dad. That’s just…”

“I didn’t mention his dad,” she cut him off knowingly. “And… girlfriend?” He gave her a sheepish look and looked down. He opened his mouth to say something in response but she cut him off with laughter. “So, that’s a yes then?”

“I mean… if you’re offering,” he tried to say casually.

“I see. This whole thing was just an elaborate scam so you could meet Jagged Stone,” she pouted in mock offense. She looked past him and smiled.

Jason rolled his eyes and he leaned onto the counter so he was just a few inches from her. “You caught me. I exposed my secret identity just so I could meet a rock star.” Marinette’s eyes instantly widened and her body went rigid.

“Secret identity?” Adrien asked as he set down her coffee cup next to Marinette.

Jason froze. “I… didn’t realize he was back.”

“You are shit at secret identities,” Marinette hissed to him. “Even when you aren’t high you can’t keep one.”

“I…’m still under the effects?” he offered with a wince.

“And you couldn’t have waited to come see me until it has dissipated?” she groaned.

“No, I couldn’t wait to see you,” he said instantly, looking deeply in her eyes.

“Oh… um… okay,” she stuttered. Her cheeks flushed deeply. “I… would have thought it would be gone by now,” she finished quietly.

“Nope. Still lingering.” He made a vague motion toward his body.

“Yeah, go with that when your brothers find out.” Marinette sighed. “Why do they let you go undercover if you’re so bad at hiding your identity?” she asked a bit louder.

Jason’s eyes scrunched in confusion.

“Isn’t that like first day at the academy?” She continued. She made a subtle rolling motion with her hands so only he could see it.

His eyes widened in realization. “I think I missed that day. Police training is pretty boring… and corrupt.”

Adrien scoffed and threw his arm over her shoulder. “Bullshit. You just don’t want to lose the bet. Also, backdoor, no bell.”

“Fucking backdoor,” Jason grumbled looking down and shaking his head. He looked back up at Marinette with a raised eyebrow that she didn’t see because she was glaring at Adrien. “Bet?”

“There is no bet,” Marinette rushed to assure him.

“That she’d date another hero,” Adrien explained, pointedly ignoring her glare. “I’m Adrien by the way. I’m her…” he stopped to think about his next words. “We really need to come up with a term for it. I’m her in no way sexual or romantic life partner?”

Marinette rolled her eyes. “I thought we agreed on pseudo brother.”

“Right, right,” Adrien nodded. “That puts me above Alya, so I like it. But I still like mine better.”

“If I can interrupt,” Jason cut in, “Jason, nice to meet you. And, another?”

“Also, he’s not a hero!” Marinette objected at the same time.

“How many heroes have you dated? And she’s not wrong, I’m not a hero,” Jason added.

“Ooh, vigilante then.” Adrien nodded. He started mentally running through all the vigilantes in Gotham. “I think that counts, but you can always try that.”

“Let’s get back to the dating heroes thing,” Jason tried.

“But it won’t matter anyway, because nobody is going to find out about this,” her voice lowered and became very pointed. “Right, Adrien? Because we’re talking about someone else’s identity. And it doesn’t matter because he isn’t a hero and the terms of the bet, which I didn’t agree to, I might add, were very specific: hero.”

“So how many heroes do you have to date for it to become a bet?” Jason asked.

“It’s more about how many heroes have had a crush on her,” Adrien answered with a smirk.

Jason raised an eyebrow. “How many have developed a crush on her?”

“Every hero that’s met her,” Adrien answered with a resolute nod.

“That’s not true!” Marinette exclaimed.

Jason nodded his head as he thought about that. “How many heroes is that? Approximately?” he asked Adrien, ignoring Marinette’s interruption.

“She’s met at least twenty-five.” Marinette groaned at the glee in Adrien’s voice.

Jason’s eyes widened and turned to her. “Twenty-five?” He turned back to Adrien. “And they all liked her?”

Adrien nodded with a smug smile. “All of them.”

“No, they don’t,” Marinette insisted.

He blinked a few times. “My brother met her.”

Marinette stared at him slack jawed until she collapsed her head onto the table. “You SUCK at secret identities,” she mumbled into the table. “Okay,” she announced loud enough to stop Jason and Adrien from continuing to talk. “First,” she turned to Adrien, “that is categorically untrue.”

“You haven’t met twenty-five heroes?” Jason asked.

“Oh no, that’s a low estimate on how many I’ve met. But only like,” she narrowed her eyes and quirked her lips in thought, “three have liked me.”

Adrien snickered. “That’s not even close. There was…”

“Second,” she said cutting him off, “your brother isn’t a hero,” she said pointedly. “Third, he was a dick.”

“Literally,” Jason snickered.

Marinette smacked his shoulder and looked over at Adrien. “He was overly friendly, but not in a Rose way; in a smarmy, I’m going to manipulate you with my charm way.”

“That’s your opinion of him,” Jason pointed out. “Adrien said heroes get a crush on you so it sounds like I need to watch him around you.”

“Fourth,” she leaned closer to Jason with a hiss, “maybe you just shouldn’t talk.”

“I think we need to up the count too,” Adrien eyed Jason critically. “Seems like we need to add a few new heroes to the total.”

Marinette stepped in between the two. “And you won’t try to figure out any more about his identity, because that would be a violation, right Adrien?” she continued even sharper.

Adrien rolled his eyes but nodded. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever. I’ll try but there’s only so many people in the hero adjacent community that fit his dimensions.”

Marinette slapped him upside the head and he scowled back at her. “Stop thinking,” she hissed. “You’re a model it shouldn’t be that hard for you to do.” Her smirk widened at his exaggerated offended gasp.

Adrien leaned back stared at her eyes slightly narrowed. “Ex-model, thank you very much. Which means I've been given a permit to think again. And just for that, I'm going to. Day and night. I'm going to get out charts and diagrams, create association maps, cyberstalk people, all just because I can.”

Marinette groaned and dropped her head in her hands. “I hate you. You can’t punish him as payback toward me.”

“You’re right,” Adrien nodded thoughtfully. “I should make it up to Jason. Say Jason, how many stories has she told you about our teenage years? Has she told you about the first time we saw a movie together? How about the first time we were at a sleepover together?”

Marinette’s eyes widened. “Alright!” Marinette exclaimed loudly. “I believe it’s time to get you out of here… before… uh… you say anything else embarrassing, Jason,” she insisted. “Let’s go. Now.” She pulled Jason out of the room by the elbow. “You get to lock up Adrien.”

“Your coffee!” he called after her. But she and Jason were already gone. Adrien chuckled. “Like I need to think to know who that is,” he scoffed taking a sip of his coffee and return to grading homework.

Jason waited a block before he spoke up. “So… you want to tell me about the sleepover or do you want to let blondie tell me later?”

Marinette mock glared at him. “Look, if we’re going to go over all of my embarrassing moments, we’ll never talk about anything else… ever… There’s a lot,” she stressed.

Jason chuckled and pulled her to a stop. He picked up her hand and laced their fingers together. He gently tucked some loose hair behind her ear, letting his fingers linger along her jaw. “Is this okay?”

Marinette looked up at him wide eyed, but nodded, a deep blush gracing her cheeks again. “Ye... um, yeah. That’s… um, yeah, that’s okay.”

“So… history of dating heroes, huh? Guess you weren’t that impressed with my skills last night then.”

Marinette groaned playfully. “Okay, seriously, it was only the one and yes, you were very impressive. The way you… were able to stand for a prolonged period of time after the amount of drugs that got pumped into your system… very impressive.”

Jason barked out a laugh. “Why thank you. I have lots of other impressive qualities I can astound you with. How would you feel about a date so I can show them to you?”

“Yeah, I like the sound of that,” she grinned up at him swinging their arms between them.

“You know, I might not remember anything else about last night, but there was one thing I thought I remembered and I was definitely right about,” he took a step closer to her until their chests were almost touching and leaned down to gaze adoringly into her eyes, “you’re fucking hot.”

She let out a surprised snort, her face turning bright red and Jason smirked at her. She buried her face in his chest to hide her blush. Jason chuckled as he wound his arms around her waist and hugged her close. “Come on,” he whispered into her ear. “I know a good place to get food right around the corner.” She looked up at him and nodded, letting him pull her toward the restaurant.

Continued in Night of the Consequences

Tags:

@jasonette-july-event @maribatserver @ashbrea381writings

#maribat #jasonette #Jasonette July #Jasonette July 2021 #prompt - dare #it's there I swear #Truth and Consequences

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supernovafics · 3 years

Text

𝐀 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑

pairing: andy barber x fem!reader

summary: in which the night was supposed to be special. however, it seems as if something is always going wrong. on this specific night, you and andy have convinced yourselves that everything will finally go according to plan, but it isn’t long until things go awry. you’re not ready to call it quits on it just yet, though.

warnings: defending jacob au (no mentions of laurie or jacob), fluff, slight angst, explicit language

word count: 2.3k words

author’s note: first andy imagine! hope you guys enjoy<333

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

“Whatever excuse you’re about to say, save it,” You said when you answered Andy’s call, and it connected to your car’s Bluetooth. “We are going to this restaurant, Barber. We’ve rescheduled so many times that I’m pretty sure at least two of the hostesses know my number by heart at this point.”

Your statement was a thousand percent true, and you were actually surprised that the restaurant hadn’t blocked your number and banned both you and Andy from coming yet because of how much you had called to reschedule. The last time was only three days ago when you and Andy were completely exhausted from the days you had at work and couldn’t bear to do anything more than deliver a pizza to your home and eat it in bed. The number of crumbs that you noticed in the bed in the morning was horrible, but overall it was worth it.

This night was different, though, at least it was supposed to be. That morning before you headed to the environmental law firm you worked at and Andy went to the DA’s office, you said that you would be done earlier than usual because you would only be doing the beginning preparations for a new case you had. Andy told you that he would be done at his office by seven, giving you both enough time to get to your eight o’clock reservation at the restaurant.

When you left your office not even fifteen minutes ago and hadn’t received any calls from Andy, you actually believed that things were finally going to go exactly how you both planned it. But, of course, you could only get but so lucky.

“I’m really sorry, honey,” Andy told you, and you could hear how sincere those words were. “This Jefferson case has been kicking my ass these past couple of days, and I can just tell I’m finally close to a breakthrough with it.”

You didn’t want to smile; you were supposed to feel at least a little bit mad that this dinner was once again on its way to getting canceled. But, you couldn’t muster up even a hint of a frown; instead, you genuinely felt happy for Andy. You didn’t know much about the case, but you did know how much of a pain it had been for him thus far, so you knew that you couldn’t make him stop working on it right then when things were finally about to turn around. Especially because you knew that if the tables were turned, he wouldn’t make you stop, and you wouldn’t want him to.

These heavily work-oriented sides of the both of you were what caused you two to meet in the first place. You were both in the local bar that pretty much all of the lawyers in Boston would frequent, celebrating wins on your recent cases. You chalked it up to the alcohol running through your veins and the pure happiness you were feeling, because that case was such a big win for you, as the reason why you so easily fell for Andy that night. Because you had always sworn to yourself that you would never get romantically involved with another lawyer. But Andy was different.

“How much longer do you need?” You asked him, already thinking of ways that you could rearrange things so that maybe, hopefully, the night wouldn’t be a total flop.

It was quiet on Andy’s end for a moment, and you could tell that he was really thinking about his response. “No more than an hour. I promise.”

You glanced at the time displayed in your car; 7:14 pm. “Okay, I’ll call the restaurant and see if they can push our eight o’clock reservation to nine. And I’m on my way to your office now, so I can make sure that your hour is actually an hour.”

Most of the time, actually all of the time, an hour was never really an hour; it was always, always more. And you knew that for a fact because you were guilty of it too. Your respective workaholic natures were something that you both simultaneously loved and hated about each other.

“I love you,” Andy’s voice was soft and comforting.

Although those three words were pretty much second nature to hear after seven years of knowing Andy and five years of marriage, they never, ever failed to make your heart warm.

“Love you too,” You said and smiled to no one but yourself. “I should be there in twenty.”

• • •

The drive to Andy’s office was shorter than expected, which you were surprised about. However, you were unsurprised to only see Andy’s car in the parking lot when you pulled in; you swore that no one at that office worked harder than he did.

“Hi,” You said as you lightly rapped your knuckles against the open door of Andy’s office to grab his attention. His gaze was solely focused on his computer, and his eyebrows were knit together in a concentrated look that you had always found endearing.

When his blue eyes pulled away from his computer and landed on you, a smile found its way on his face. “Hi.”

You walked over to him, and he stood up from his desk, opening his arms which you wasted no time going into. As you wrapped your arms around Andy, the flooding sense of comfort that you felt made you sigh in contentment. Being in his arms always felt like being home.

“The reservation has been changed to nine,” You said, your words slightly muffled due to the way your face was pressed into his chest, but Andy still heard you.

“I’ll be done soon,” He told you, his voice getting lost in your hair.

When you pulled away from the embrace– it was reluctant at first, but then you remembered that there were actually things that needed to get done– you went to sit at the chair that was on the other side of the desk, shrugging your jacket off and placing it on the back of the chair. You nodded your head at Andy’s previous words, knowing that the definition of “soon” that you two had become accustomed to was different than what most people perceived it as.

As Andy went back to working on the case and you mindlessly watched him, a sudden wave of tiredness washed over you. Although your own day at work hadn’t been too chaotic, it was still pretty exhausting. A small yawn escaped your lips, and your eyes settled on the small-sized couch in the corner.

Your gaze was still trained on the grey couch when you heard the sound of a drawer opening, and when you looked at Andy, you saw that he was holding out a folded-up throw blanket for you to take. You grabbed it, and the familiar forest green color and softness stood out to you; it was the one you would usually keep in you guys’ living room.

“When did you start keeping this here?” You were already letting the blanket unfold and wrapping it around yourself.

“After the last time you came here and slept on the couch, and my suit jacket was horrible at keeping you warm.”

You smiled at the thoughtfulness behind the gesture. “Goddamnit, I love you.”

“And I love you,” Andy smiled back. “Now go take a quick nap, and I’ll wake you up in fifty minutes when I’m done with this, and we can finally make it to the reservation.”

You easily found comfort on the couch as you had done a few times before when you decided to join Andy during his late work nights. The couch was weirdly cozy, and you never knew if it was because of how tired you were that made it feel so nice or if it genuinely felt that way. Unsurprisingly, it didn’t take long for you to drift off to sleep.

• • •

“Hey,” A soft voice slowly pulled you from the unconscious state you were in. “Honey, wake up.”

You mumbled a slight protest, pulling the blanket draped over you higher so that it shielded your face. Then, you remembered where you were.

You pulled the blanket back down, and when you opened your eyes, you saw Andy’s face; he was kneeling down next to you.

“What time is it?”

He evaded the question and instead said, “I’m sorry.”

“Andy,” You sighed as you sat up from the couch. You felt around for your phone and grabbed it, almost immediately checking the time; 10:03 pm. “Andy.”

“I fucked up,” His voice was quiet, and you pulled your eyes away from your phone and looked at him.

“What happened?” You asked as you tried to rub the remaining sleepiness out of your eyes. Even though you had apparently taken an almost two-hour nap, you still felt extremely tired.

“It was eight, and I wasn’t finished with what I needed for the case, but at that point, I didn’t even care and just wanted to go to dinner with you,” Andy took a seat down next to you on the small couch as he began to launch into his explanation. You watched him with intent eyes. “But, then I saw you sleeping, and you looked so peaceful and tired, and I didn’t wanna wake you. So, I kept working, and I was gonna wake you by eight-thirty, but the time got away from me, and the next thing I knew, it was nine.”

You didn’t say anything in response at first. Instead, you leaned back against the couch, closing your eyes and once again pulling the blanket over your head because there was nothing else you really wanted to do.

“I’m sorry. I know that you really wanted to go to the restaurant tonight.”

You finally decided to say something. “It’s okay.”

You felt the blanket shift, and you opened your eyes to see Andy coming underneath it and pulling some over him– luckily, it was long enough– so that the two of you were cocooned inside of it. “It’s not. You deserve to be mad.”

You considered his words and knew he was right, but you weren’t mad. Honestly, if you were a thousand percent truthful with yourself, you didn’t give a fuck about the dinner and the restaurant. More so, you cared about what it represented, or at least what your mind had warped it into representing.

It had been so long since you and Andy had spent a night together that was solely romantic and didn’t involve the two of you lounging about in your home eating takeout or being completely exhausted from work. You had desperately wanted something that resembled how it used to be between you two before things became so domesticated. For reasons you couldn’t decipher, you wanted a glimpse back into the beginning, almost honeymoon-like, stages of your relationship with him. And it seemed as if it was something that was entirely out of reach at this point.

“But, the night’s not a complete bust.” Andy’s words pulled you out of your scattered thoughts. However, they did nothing but confuse you.

Before you could ask him what he meant by his statement, he pulled off the blanket that was draped over you both, and it was then that you noticed the set up of Chinese food takeout on Andy’s desk. The food was plated nicely on disposable plates that you were sure were from the office’s break room, and there was even a lit candle in the middle of the desk. You noticed that the candle was the one you had gotten Andy for Christmas with the sole purpose of him having it in his office; apparently, the scent was supposed to be very calming.

Looking at the setup made you finally fully realize that the restaurant and dinner did not matter. In fact, this was far better than being in a fancy restaurant surrounded by other people and trying new food that you probably wouldn’t like anyway. This was much more romantic, and you loved every aspect of it.

It made you feel slightly frustrated at yourself that you had been making such a big deal out of it all in the first place. It wasn’t the restaurant that would make you feel reminded of the early aspects of your relationship. It was simply being with Andy that would, and always did, make you feel that way and more.

You did not know why you were on the verge of tears, but you did know that they were nothing but joyous. You looked over at Andy and noticed that he was staring at you so that he could gauge your reaction to everything. You smiled at him and wrapped your arms around his neck. “This is great. So great. Fuck, I can barely even form words right now.”

A breath of a laugh fell from your lips, and when you pulled back from the embrace, you placed a kiss on his cheek, his beard grazing your chin in a way that you had always loved.

“I’m glad and relieved,” Andy said as the two of you made your way over to his desk. “It’s definitely not high-end restaurant quality, but it is from our favorite place on Bleeker Street.”

You settled in your chair, your mouth watering at the food in front of you. You hadn’t realized how hungry you were until then. “Maybe we’re not meant to go to fancy restaurants anymore. We’re just takeout people now. And I think I’m okay with that.”

Andy’s lips upturned in a small smile. “Me too.”

“Now tell me everything about this godforsaken case,” You said and then took a bite from your egg roll. You always enjoyed hearing about his cases; it was a contrast from the work that you did that you always found refreshing, although most of the cases were more bleak if anything.

As Andy launched into an in-depth telling about what the case was about and the issues arising with it, you looked at him adoringly and listened intently as you both ate your food.

There was no grand dinner, but everything was still romantic, actually even more so. To you and him both, it was still a night to remember.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .��。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

let me know your thoughts<3

#andy barber imagine #andy barber x reader #andy barber x female reader #andy barber x fem!reader #andy barber x y/n #andy barber x oc #andy barber x wife reader #andy barber fluff #andy barber angst

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arr-jim-lad · 3 years

Note

If you don't mind me asking, could you tell me about DIO and how he became your favourite? I'm curious!

you know what that's a really good question and i wish i had a clear answer but it kinda just happened lmfao. there was some process to it that i can easily narrow down though and i will gladly dive into it and try to explain it because you KNOW i'll take any chance to talk about god damned DIO lmao

im gonna try to make this as coherent as possible but please bear with me, i'm pulling an allnighter and am currently in the 24th hour of awakedness so lmao

ok first; initially kakyoin was actually my favourite for a while, and after a while i'd say i like them the same, but we all knew. we all knew i was a dirty little liar. i have 4 kakyoin figures. i have a DIO shrine. i wrote several analyses of DIO. my god damned phone background is DIO. idk who i was trying to fool lmao

the funny thing is that before i watched jojo i actually fucking hated DIO lmfao, there was a blog here that posted undertale quotes and i really enjoyed it, but then one day the blog decided to just start posting 'you expected x but it was me, dio' memes and it was extremely unfunny and annoying and i hated it and i hated him lmfao

then i watched jojo with my friend and i just thought DIO was funny in like a fucked up way, mind you i watched the dub which made him extra funny with the british accent

i "liked" him but more like as a joke. i did really enjoy just the sheer extent of how vile he was though, making a mom eat her own baby is still one of my favourite fucked up things i've ever seen a villain do. it's the way he had fun with being absolutely reprehensible that made him so much fun to watch. i love when villains are fun.

having seen him in parts 1 and 3 i still kinda liked him as a meme and eventually as like, "i hate that i like him lol"

but like, then i've seen the OVA, and DIO spoke with andrew chaikin's voice in the dub and i was just kinda uh 😳

because like andew chaikin's freaking DIO voice???? hi hello??

also just in general how DIO is in the ova... his design and animation are fucking stellar and he was just a freaking delight to watch, but his voice made him particularly comforting to me.

so yeah it was the ova. the ova is to blame for all of this.

i do feel a need to mention because this is something that would make me super uncomfortable if people misunderstood it, but as i am aro/ace, my love for DIO is not of a romantic or sexual nature at all. i'd describe it more as like.. adoration? i see him as a muse and a comfort character.

the reason i actually really started liking DIO so much and why i consider him a comfort character is because he turned out to be just.. amazingly, delightfully comfortable to draw. i enjoy drawing him so much. i've drawn him 128 times and plan to draw him many more times. i think my art has improved immensely just from how much i've drawn him, especially when it comes to more muscular bodies, which i really didn't enjoy drawing before.

he's so incredibly fun to draw because he combines this macho huge body with fashion and elegance and beauty, and drama and evil and danger and egypt and vampires. there's always something about him that's gonna inspire me to draw another piece of him. i haven't had an art block since i started drawing him (though worth noting is that my mascot Luv has also been a top notch fighter against art block; him and DIO are my main muses to always keep me drawing and experimenting and creating new approaches)

I also think DIO is a hugely interesting character, as it's apparent by how much i've written about him in the past. i think his motivation is so messed up and convoluted and interesting because yeah a fucked up vampire who's been isolated underwater for 100 years would probably not exactly be a stable and rational person lmao

to me as someone with social anxiety, the fact that his main goal is to achieve peace of mind is also really interesting. uh, spoiler for stone ocean here so im gonna cross it through so people won't accidentally catch a glimpse of it but, ok firstly i think DIO's plan was absolutely batshit and definitely not the right thing to do LMAO, but i love that he literally wants to change reality to know what's gonna happen next, because not knowing things in advance is preventing him from achieving his peace. like im not saying i relate to DIO because i really don't, but as someone who's been very familiar with anxiety, it's really interesting to see that as a villain's motivation (also might as well mention i don't think DIO has anxiety, i think it's more like frustration over lack of control with him, also he's a huge paranoic)

i want to also talk about his philosophy that i genuinely love so much, and that is the concept of gravity as he means it on that famous panel. DIO's idea of gravity is a very zen concept, it's the idea that fate will bring you where you need to be, fate will make you meet the people you need to meet, etc. as someone who struggles with anxiety, that is a really compelling idea to me, which helped me overcome stressful situations long before i got into jojo. of course i do understand that to some people the idea of a predetermined fate can be terrifying and tbh i totally get it, but for me, when it comes to anxiety-inducing situations, the idea of "gravity" has helped me be less stressed. it's a very interesting concept and i love that it's something that's so deeply ingrained in DIO's philosophy. (PS just so you know whenever i say DIO's plan was a good idea i am joking 100% of the time, i would not want to live in the world he wanted to create. however, it's funny to say DIO was thinking of us socially anxious folks so im gonna keep saying it lmao)

you know, it's also really funny that like.. DIO ended up being such a massive beloved comfort character of mine, because like up until him, i generally got attached to characters who were very Good and Wholesome lmao. tfw the two characters that served as the most important comfort characters for me in my life were DIO and......... Papyrus from Undertale LMAO

they are almost polar opposites, but what they both have in common is that they are both very confident, and i'd say that while characters who doubt themselves are generally those i personally relate to, characters who are confident are the ones i gravitate towards for "support". Papyrus has been a character who i honestly hold single-handedly responsible for helping me turn my life around and just.. had an amazing impact on my mental health. i dont want to know who i'd be today if i never got into undertale.

with DIO, i feel like part of the reason why im so joyous and loud about how much i love him and why im so open about how much fun im having enjoying his character so much is because if i were to meet this character back then, when i was in college or in high school, i would never allow myself to enjoy this. i think that to me, DIO being such a huge comfort character represents like... something? i can't quite put my finger on it, but i feel a certain kind of pride and freedom about it because i know i overcame something in these past few years, and that i am much better and happier for it in every aspect.

i am very much a person who gets deeply attached to things or characters that i associate with positive changes in my life. because i've been at such a low point once in my life, i cling to things that remind me of how far i've come.

im just like.. really happy to be here as i am and DIO somehow became a deeply ingrained part of that.

#or at least he will become a deeply ingrained part of it once i get that tattoo i scheduled to get in june next year lmao #jamble ramble #dio brando #about me

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winterscaptain · 4 years

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spoiled.

Aaron Hotchner x Gender Neutral Reader a joyful future fic

a/n: happy valentine’s day!

words: 2.1k warnings: language, over-the-top valentine’s day shenanigans

summary: “the best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds.” - nicholas sparks. au!february 2012

masterlist | a joyful future masterlist | ajf faq | taglist | what do you want to see next?

Aaron leaves rather early in the morning, leaving you in bed complaining with only a kiss for your trouble.

When you eventually get up, on track to be about fifteen minutes late to the federal building, you find a pair of post-its on the fridge.

Always the romantic.

+++

The evening rolls around and finds you on the couch with Jess and Jack.

“You gonna start getting ready?” Jess asks. “You’ve got a long night ahead of you.”

You look over at her. “Wait. He told you what we’re doing?”

She nods. “Yeah. You have no idea. He hasn’t done a big Valentine’s Day thing since he surprised Haley in her senior year of college. He’s been looking for an excuse.”

That’s terrifying.

“Guess I better get ready then.”

Jack’s got a funny little smile on his face, but you ignore it. You’re sure the Hotchner boys are in cahoots, but it’s not really worth it to try and wiggle anything out of him.

You head to the master bedroom to get dressed, throwing off your slouchy day-off clothes in favor of something that can take you to a fancy dinner and whatever else Aaron has planned for your evening.

+++

You walk out of the apartment, hearing Jess lock the door behind you. When you reach the front of the apartment complex, Aaron closes the car door as he hops out, meeting you halfway to the sidewalk.

“Hello, gorgeous,” he says, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

He’s wearing a black button-up, black slacks, and his favorite pair of black oxfords. It’s a sharp look and one he knows you love.

“You’re looking quite dapper yourself, sir.”

The boyish grin on his face melts your heart and you take the arm he offers. Like a real gentleman, he opens the door for you and makes sure you’re inside before closing you in.

+++

The drive is quiet. You ask about the office once or twice, but it’s clear there’s nothing significant to report.

“So...what are we doing tonight?”

He glances at you out of the corner of his eye. “Dinner. And a few other things.”

+++

When he says ‘dinner,’ he’s not joking. The restaurant is a high-end, no-prices-on-the-menu type of place. The lighting is low, the environment cozy and quiet.

He must have planned this months ago. Reservations are like gold on Valentine’s Day.

Aaron’s squinting at the menu across from you. It makes you laugh.

“Need a flashlight and your reading glasses?”

“Shut up.” It comes with his own laugh, but he’s still squinting.

You finally decide on something and order, trusting Aaron’s taste in wine. When the waiter leaves, Aaron reaches across the table for your hand.

“Okay,” he says. You recognize his tone - it’s professional, like he’s starting a press conference. “No work, no kids, no serial killers.”

You smile, waiting for him to give you a little more context.

“How are you?”

What a question.

How often does the answer to that question not include work, kids, or serial killers?

Not very.

“I’m good.” You mean it. “I’m really good.”

There’s a small smile on his face. “Why?”

Are you profiling me now, Hotch?

Deciding to give him shit, you ask, “Why am I good, or is that a more general existential question?”

He rolls his eyes and you relent.

“Alright. Well…” You take a breath. “There are a lot of things to be happy about. You, for one thing.”

“Me?” He asks. He looks genuinely surprised.

Fool.

“Yes, you.” You squeeze his hand. “You are my best friend and somehow - somehow - I’ve landed you as my partner. I am living out everything I dreamed of at twenty-five.”

That pulls another smile from him. “Really?” Again, he looks genuinely surprised.

Can’t believe I’ve never told this to him.

Ridiculous

“Oh yeah. I can’t believe you never noticed. I had a huge crush on you - instantly. Derek gave me nothing but hell once he figured it out.” You pause. “Do you remember that time on the plane, really early on, when I woke up and everyone thought I had a nightmare?”

Looking a little confused by your change in direction, and you don’t blame him.

“I think so? I remember we all felt so bad.” He shrugs. “We all get them, of course - still do - but we were worried about you.”

“Right. So -”

Aaron’s head tilts to the left as he interrupts you. “Did you say ‘everyone thought’ it was a nightmare?”

Your face gets hot and you suddenly regret bringing this up at all. “Yeah. I’m getting to that.”

With an embarrassed huff, you continue. “So, it wasn’t a nightmare.”

“No?” The question comes accompanied by a frown.

“No. It was a sex dream. About you.”

You can tell he’s doing his best to hide his smile for your benefit, but there’s a threatening dimple that gives him away and you’ve simply known him too long for him to get away with anything.

“Really?” His tone is neutral, polite, but you can hear the humor behind the apparently bland interest.

“Yep.”

“What - if I may ask - was it about? Specifically?”

You take a breath and adopt the same kind of ironic professionalism as Aaron. “Well, now it doesn’t seem so notable, because i’m more than familiar with your, um, technique.”

And it’s true. Though you hardly remember the details of the dream anymore - it's been years - you know that real life doesn’t even come close.

Aaron pulls his hand from yours and steeples his fingers under his chin. He’s the picture of interest, so you continue.

“The key points are as follows -”

He holds up a finger, and you stop. “On second thought,” he says. “I think this recollection would be better served by a demonstration.”

You nod. “You’re probably right.”

“I’ll pencil it in.”

You grin at each other for a moment, the back-and-forth of it so deeply on brand you can’t help but steep in it for a second.

“So,” he says, “as you were saying before…?”

“Right.”

Back to business.

“I had a huge crush on you and could swear you were the most handsome man I’ve ever seen.”

Never one to forgo an opportunity to compliment him when he’s not actively swatting at you, you continue.

“In the lecture you gave with Gideon and Derek, I knew you were in charge before you said anything. Even though Gideon had the years and experience on you, it was clear that everything came through you.” You attempt to explain the inarticulable. “There’s a kind of steadiness - one you still have - that radiates off of you.”

The two of you sit in that for a moment.

You continue. “And then, of course, when we met again I had to really focus on not making an ass of myself in front of Strauss.”

He laughs. His laughter makes you laugh, of course. It’s so much higher than his speaking register, so delightful in its unexpectedness.

“Okay, okay.” You stop, covering your face with your hands. “Okay this is cheesy. Promise not to laugh.”

His eyebrows rise and he forces his mouth into something that only threatens a dimple once more.

“When you shook my hand in Radner’s office, there was this crazy jolt of energy or something that just flew up my arm. It was wild. I’ve never been able to forget it, almost like a flashbulb memory.”

As promised, he doesn’t laugh. There is, however, a kind of wonder in his eyes when he replies, “You felt that, too?”

+++

After dinner (and dessert), Aaron takes your hand and ushers you into the car when you leave the lod. He doesn’t turn the way you expect.

“Where are we going?”

The dashboard casts a glow on his face. You can still spot a dimple in the dark. “You’ll see.”

+++

Your disbelief only grows when you go deeper into the city and pull up to the Hay-Adams. The valet opens the door for you, while Aaron hands over the keys to his SUV. Once all the details are covered, you take his arm again and let him guide you into the lobby.

It’s expansive. The Hay-Adams is, of course, one of the most historic buildings in the district and considered one of the best hotels on the East Coast by people who know of these things.

Aaron confirms the reservation and gets the room cards before promptly finding the elevator and swiping in for the seventh floor. You look down, remembering your attire at the last minute.

“Aaron, I don’t have my go bag.”

He shakes his head, still looking forward. “Don’t need it.”

You scoff.

He doubles down. “Do you trust me?”

Stupid question.

“Of course.”

“Go with it. I’m trying to spoil you.” He turns and presses his lips to yours, taking your face in his hand. Against your mouth, he says, “Let me.”

+++

The room is gorgeous - a one bedroom suite with a living room, balcony, and kitchenette, a huge couch dominates the center of the open living area, opposite an impressive television. Through the open door, you catch a glimpse of a king-sized bed.

This must have cost a small fortune.

As if reading your mind, Aaron takes your hand and tugs you forward. You land against his chest and he smiles at you. “Don’t think too hard. Come with me.”

You follow him out to the balcony and the view takes your breath away. The White House, well-lit in the D.C. nighttime, sits right across the street. From here, you can see Lafayette Square - beyond it, almost the whole city.

When you come back to yourself, you realize there’s an outdoor loveseat and a small table, holding champagne (on ice) and chocolate-covered fruit.

Champagne, chocolate, fancy dinner… The whole nine.

Spoiled indeed.

Aaron sits, pulling you down beside him. He pours two glasses of champagne - mostly for show, and moves the bucket to the ground. The fruit goes off to the side table and his feet go up on the small table, crossing at the ankles. You curl up against him, tucking under his arm.

“Do you like it? Too much?”

You can hear the genuine insecurity behind his cheeky question. You press a kiss to the back of his hand. “I love it. It is too much, but it’s very thoughtful. You twist to kiss the underside of his jaw. “Thank you.”

With that, the two of you settle in, quietly enjoying the company and the quiet. It’s cold, but with the outdoor heater, it’s comfortable enough that you don’t need your coat.

“Okay.”

Aaron sits up. “Yes?”

“You asked, so it’s only fair. No work, no kids, no serial killers. How are you?”

He pulls you over so you’re sitting across his lap. You rest your head on his shoulder, your hand smoothing over the soft fabric of his button-up before placing it over his heart.

“I’m good,” he says. “I’m really good.”

“Why?” You feel a little like a parrot, but you’re sure that’s what he’s going for.

“I can’t...quite articulate how lucky I feel.”

That’s relatable.

“I’m happy to be here with you.” He shakes his head - a pensive gesture. “I never thought I could make it here again.”

“Where?” You ask.

“In love, happy, facing a future that doesn’t scare me. My son is happy, safe...I wasn’t sure I'd ever have any of that again after losing Haley.”

He pauses and you can feel a little sardonic smile. You don’t have to see it to know it’s there. His next admission, though, surprises you.

“I accepted that I would be a bystander in your life a long time ago. I accepted that I would likely remain a widower, a single father. I knew you’d be around and that I would be your friend, but I made peace with the idea that I’d never have you right here.” He squeezes you twice, in time with his words. It makes you smile.

He shakes his head and lets out a little laugh. “I’m not sure it’ll ever sink in.”

You feel much the same, but it's kind of at once alarming and amusing to hear him so beautifully articulate feelings that so closely resemble your own.

You lean back to look at him. “I’m glad you were wrong.”

He places a gentle finger under your chin and kisses you, long and languid. It’s a promise. After a little while, he leans back, brushing the back of his fingers over your cheek.

“Me too.”

+++

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#aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #aaron hotchner imagine #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fanfiction #aaron hotchner #criminal minds #tali talks cm #tali writes fanfiction #a joyful future #a joyful future fanfic

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saphirered · 3 years

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Hopefully, this is not too vague... I was wondering if you could do fluff with Molly; his nickname for the reader is 'princess'. (I have had a rough couple weeks, found out some bad news regarding my dad's health, and am just wanting a little pick-me-up. You are literally my favorite writer of the lavender tiefling trio.)

A load of fluff with some hinted spice coming right up. Sorry about your dad, sweetie and hope things take a more positive turn. Either way, I hope this is the pick-me-up you're looking for. 😘

You’re no stranger to waking up alone but never does it stop you from reaching out to the spot next to you. When you’re not met with a soft groan or arms wrapping around you, pulling you close begging for another five minutes of peace you know your lavender tiefling has begun his day before you. Rolling over onto your back you stretch taking in a deep breath. Time to get ready for the day, maybe find some breakfast? Breakfast sounds nice.

Mollymauk walks down the beaten path, a skip in his step and a small bouquet of wild roses clasped in his hand. He’s been up and about for a good hour now and like the good carney he is he’s working on quite the show in his mind; a show that requires the aid of a pretty face, charming smile and honeyed words he alone cannot provide. No he needs assistance and if he plans on getting this assistance he better work for it. Okay, maybe it’s not his plan. Maybe this is all just the result of a major fuck up on his end but still, it will make for some good fun… if all goes well… and you agree… The fact he gets to pamper you is a huge bonus. It’s been a while since he’s gotten the chance to show you just how much you mean to him.

Could Molly just ask for your help? Of course he could. And would you agree to join him on this endeavour? How could you refuse that devilishly handsome man? But where’s the fun in that. Let’s keep things interesting. Raise the stakes a little bit and see where his charm will get him. Or perhaps more, see how long it takes you to catch on tp the mess he made and pray to the Moonweaver you’ll be merciful. A test of his charm perhaps? Whatever excuse best justifies his actions and desires to spoil you rotten.

Stretching your arms with one final yawn you leave your tent. It’s too early to be up but you best keep an eye on your tiefling before he gets himself thrown into jail and you have to break him out… again. Wandering the camp the other members of the Fletching and Moondrop Carnival of Curiosities are waking up and going about their morning business at their own paces. You search for Molly but when you don’t find him you take to the road, following it towards the town. If he’s caused any trouble there you’d find out soon enough.

A lovely melody reaches Molly’s ears. He knows exactly who it belongs to and hears you before he sees you. All he needs to do is follow your song. Curving over the elevation of the path he spots you, lost in thought. Smile on his face he approaches you, flowers behind his back, and joins in whistling along to the melody. The way your eyes light up at the realisation of his presence are enough to make his heart melt knowing that one creature could look upon him with such unconditional love.

“Good morning, your royal highness.” Mollymauk takes a bow befitting of greeting royalty if not a little exaggerated and offers you the flowers. While he tries to keep his gaze on the ground you catch him peaking for your response as you take the flowers from his grasp breathing in their scent.

“Good morning to you too. And thank you, I should say? What’s the occasion?” You ask, not wanting to look a gift horse in the mouth but you can’t help feel a little suspicious at Molly’s very deliberate theatrics.

“Can a most loyal servant not present his beloved princess with flowers?” Molly rises and you get the slightest flash of fang from the smile he offers you.

“You know I am never one to deny your gifts and gestures of affection. What I’m referring to are your apparent needs for theatrics.” You speak with eloquence feeling yourself slipping into the same act he’s putting on. Dammit Mollymauk, for playing into your actor side and letting you slip up into the role he’s setting you up for. You know damn well he’s aware of what he’s doing.

“I am merely your humble servant. A humble servant with impeccable manners.” You snort as Molly offers you his arm. You lace yours through his and he begins leading you back the way you came.

“Impeccable manners you say? Because I recall not but two nights ago copious amounts of drinks, illegal gambling and theft were involved. And let’s not even mention the… desecration of the fountain within the gaze of the Platinum Dragon’s statue.”

“You say that as if those of noble birth do not partake in such activities, princess.” Molly counters. Touché. As you’re about to take a step to the right fork of the road Molly gently pulls you into the left direction instead. Confused you give him another suspicious look but he hushes you leading you down the path.

You find yourself retreating within your thoughts trying to pinpoint whatever shenanigans Molly is up to, planning or has been up to and why the need to be secretive instead of just telling you. Molly couldn’t hope for a better moment for you to stop your interrogation for he fears any more prodding around for answers and he will spill the beans and come clean. He can’t hide a single thing from you when you’re determined and he knows it.

The path slowly turns from trodden earth to more fine sand until it fades into the beach. The sound of waves and a seagull or two make for a pleasant setting. You see just far enough away from the shoreline as to not become victim to the tides, is a basket set on top of a blanket. Molly leads you over, guides you to sit upon the blanket gracefully before plopping down himself with much less show. Within the basket you spot several packed goods. Molly takes a few out and sets them down upon the blanket, unwrapping them as he goes. Some bread, a selection of fine jams, some cheese and delicious sugary sweet pastries.

“Okay, time to drop the act. While I appreciate all this, what did you do and how bad is it?” Molly takes out a bottle of what looks like expensive champagne along with two glasses and pours them, handing one to you.

“What makes you say that?” Molly takes a sip playing it cool and innocent.

“The top shelf bottle of champagne that is very much above our collective pay grades. Where did you even get this?” You take a sip. It’s not bad but not the greatest you’ve ever had either. A weird taste that can only be suitable for some upscale party or the nobility passes out to their guests to impress them simply because of the associated name and or price tag. What can you say? Rich people.

Molly hesitates but drops the innocent act. Best he comes clean now. You’ve caught on fully. Game over. But that definitely doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy this delicious breakfast with him, can you? Mollymauk takes a slice of the fresh bread, adding a nice layer of strawberry jam and takes a bite. At least the expensive jam was worth the money. Then again, it wasn’t his money that paid for it. Doesn’t mean it wasn’t money well spent.

“Now, I need you to promise me one thing first, love. Promise me you’ll let me tell you the whole thing before you judge my poor decision making.”

“I can do that.” You lean back and relax taking one of the pastries and taking a bite. Bearclaws with cinnamon? Delicious. Let’s hope for Molly’s sake it will keep your judgement somewhat at bay.

“When we were doing our usual rounds and you were off on your own I may or may not have let it slip to someone who happens to be part of the local nobility, several someones to be more precise, that you may or may not be a princess in hiding. And I may or may not have played a little bit too deeply into the story…”

“Okay, that’s not actually that bad?” Just wait for the second part. It gets worse. On second thought. He may be regretting telling you and not just convincing you to hide away for the next few days in town until you’re back on the road.

“And these poor suckers may have fact checked it finding some evidence of a princess from another continent who supposedly is traveling in disguise. They came to see the show and I want you to remember they left a most generous donation along with an invitation for you to attend a ball held in your honour.” Molly awaits your response as you stop mid bite.

“So they left an invitation for a princess? What about it? Just don’t show up and done.”

“That would work if the local lord did not gently hinted at exposing said princess and sending the guards to return them to their family as they ran away and the good favour of either side of that royal family should greatly benefit this town. I’m sorry, princess but your presence has been demanded.”

Okay… This is bad. You do not feel like being hunted by the guards and it’s not like you can make an inconspicuous escape now people might look at you as royalty. You set down the pastry clasp your hands together closing your eyes. You inhale and exhale deeply as Molly briefly fears for his life.

“You… really need to learn to hold that tongue of yours, Molly. It’s getting you in all sorts of trouble.” He bites back a comment about using that tongue of his for plenty of other good things. He’s having trouble reading where you stand on this all and doesn’t know wether you’re upset with him or disappointed or if he has to be the one running for his life soon.

“Let’s talk to Orna and get some appropriate dress for the occasion ready and wearable even if that means she’ll have to sew us into our garments.” You sigh.

“Us?” He questions and he does not like the mischievous look on your face. Whatever you’re plotting, he hopes you have mercy on his soul.

“Oh, I will not be attending on my own. No, a princess does not go anywhere without their loyal servant. A princess needs their escort to attend to their every whim.” You hold your chin high as you move to sitting on your knees pushing your palm flush against his chest exercising a little pressure to push him to lean back onto his elbows.

“Every whim you say?” Molly asks with a devilish grin as you swing one leg over him gently keeping him in place with your body and wrapping your arms around his neck playing with the short hairs at the back of his neck. Maybe the turnout isn’t so bad.

“‘Every whim you say, princess’.” You correct mimicking his grin and leaning in closer. Molly goes to close the distance but you raise your index finger to his chin. “Ah-ah.”

“May I not kiss you now, ‘princess’?” He mocks and you give him a stern look.

“It’s unbecoming of a mere servant to make such a bold move.” You pull on his hair when Molly tries to land a kiss on your cheek rather enjoying the turn of events this morning.

“Yet you appear to be the one in full control.”

“He knows his place. Good boy.” You praise with a pat to his cheek and you guide his face to yours, your lips meeting in a deep kiss, the food forgotten. Molly’s hands dance over from your hips to your lower back pulling you closer to him. You earn an unsatisfied grumble when you pull away a moment too soon.

“Must you torture me so with your touch, princess?” Molly laughs fully aware what direction this is going, raising a hand to caress your cheek fondly.

“Will you finally learn how to behave?” You trace the peacock feathers curving up the side of his neck and jaw. You don’t get a verbal reply but instead Molly’s lips find their way to your neck leaving a trail of kisses and little bites as he goes enough to make you giggle and squeal in surprise whenever he finds just the right spot, taking your mind far away from the details of the fuck up that lead you here in the first place. Not that you mind anymore. If this is the treatment you get for being dragged into one of Mollymauk’s lies gone south you’ll gladly take it a thousand times over.

#critical role x reader #critrole x reader #mighty nein x reader #mollymauk x reader #critical role #mighty nein

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peachycheol · 4 years

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| reliable |

© banner credit: thank you to the love of my life @suhdreams for making this banner for me 🥺💘 ➸ summary: when people say ‘not all men’, they’re actually right. kim mingyu, your best friend, would never disappoint you. especially not in the bedroom. ➸ genre: pwp 😌 ➸ pairing: best friend!mingyu x reader ➸ warning: dirty talk, slight dumbification, heavy petting, unprotected sex (pls use protection irl), cream pie, oral (fem. receiving), cum eating, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, yn is really horny? ➸ w.c: 3.2k ➸ tags: you can all thank @risquewonu for this <333

➸ author’s note: ahh, i’m sorry this took me so long! i didn’t mean to write this much, but what the smuth wants, the smuth gets. also, i want to thank you all for 100 followers! i’ll make a separate post to properly thank you all, but i am!!! baffled!!! i really appreciate the support ;u; love you guys!

If there are two things in this world that you are absolutely certain of, they are: 1) Men ain’t shit, and 2) with the exception of Kim Mingyu. Knowing this information doesn’t really benefit you in any way. You still go out on Tinder dates that leave you high and dry 15 minutes after taking you home. And Kim Mingyu is still your very platonic best friend, who seems to be reliable in every single way except perhaps in the one way you need most desperately.

But for all you know, he could be just like every other male in bed. He couldn’t be unbelievably handsome, the most thoughtful, caring person you know, and a sex god; it just wouldn’t be fair! No, it is much easier to convince yourself that Mingyu’s perfection only extended to being a best friend, if only for your peace of mind. Otherwise, you’d have to live with the possibility that the only person who can give you sweet release is the only one you’re technically not supposed to fuck.

For reasons that seem to become annoyingly hazy every time you lie down next to him on his bed, just as you are at this moment.

The two of you often end nights out like this, scrolling through one another’s TikTok’s until the wee hours of the morning, laughing loudly until his neighbors threaten to file a noise complaint. As someone who has claimed him as your best friend for three years, you know you’re supposed to be used to the smell of the musky cologne that clings onto his sheets and the feeling of his warm body as he leans closer to show you his For You Page. But lately, it seems harder and harder to fight off the warmth that pulses straight to your core whenever he does anything as simple as laugh, making you shiver when his breath tickles the side of your neck.

God, you just really need to get laid properly. You lick your dry lips and try to remind yourself that you have no idea if Mingyu would even be able to satisfy you. Though you do have to admit you couldn’t imagine any situation where the boy isn’t overly generous and eager to please-- No! Just watch the damn TikToks!

“Hey, you good?” Mingyu suddenly asks, nudging your side. “Why aren’t you laughing? ‘His package needs to come in the fe-mail’! That one’s gold!”

You let out a snort. Leave it to Mingyu to bring you back to reality with one line. Even when you don’t say a word, he knows exactly what you need in a moment, which in this case is a reminder that he’s your very dorky friend. “Shut up, that’s so stupid,” you say, but you can’t help but laugh along with him when it replays.

“Aha, you laughed though.” Satisfied with your response he scrolls down to a video of a girl smiling suggestively into the camera. She points to the caption that says ‘If all the boys that made me cum were in my room with me right now, I would…’ Suddenly, the camera pans and she looks at the screen tiredly. The caption now read as ‘Be alone. Men are trash’.

At this, you bust out with a howl of laughter, clutching at your stomach. It was kind of sad, but it was good to know you weren’t alone in this world. All the while, Mingyu stares at you with an eyebrow raised. Once you calm down, you meet his amused gaze. “What are you looking at?”

“You thought it was that funny, huh? It’s not even that accurate,” he says teasingly.

You roll your eyes. “Um, yeah it is. I’ve never met a man who could make me cum, and clearly many other people can relate. This video has 1.4k likes!”

Mingyu quickly puts his phone down and pouts. “Nu uh! Not all guys are that incompetent!”

“Men are such babies,” you sigh. “They are that incompetent! You know how many dates I went to last semester, right? Not one of them made me cum!”

“Okay, I told you before you even went on those dates that those guys weren’t worth your time.” Mingyu waves his hand dismissively. “For your information, I have made sure that all the ladies that I’ve taken to the bedroom had at least one orgasm. At least!”

“Mingyu, sweetie,” you coo, patting his cheek as if to comfort him. “They were all faking it, because they didn’t want to hurt your feelings.” Right? They all had to have faked it. You try to tell yourself this, try to reign in the last bit of sanity you have before your mind wanders off to anywhere inappropriate.

Your best friend now props himself up so that you could properly see the smirk plastered across his annoyingly chiseled features. “You’re so sure, huh? I bet I could make you cum multiple times. Easily.”

Your mouth falls open in shock. It isn’t uncommon for the two of you to taunt each other like this, but you have also never been in such a vulnerable mood. It’s the type of mood that has your heart racing impossibly fast, the type of mood that has your panties pathetically damp from just one sentence. You blink, trying to regain as much composure as you can. You know it’s too late, though; your imagination is already flashing through scenes of your deepest desires, all being fulfilled by the man in front of you. But Mingyu is only joking, so you do what you can to continue playing along and pretend like you don’t want him to just fuck you into the mattress until you were drooling into his sheets.

“I-I seriously doubt that!” you say, but there is no conviction in your voice. Clearing your throat, you try adding, “Dude, I’ve literally seen you fall down a flight of stairs when you were sober. And we were going up. Kinda hard to imagine that you’ll know how to fuck me to an orgasm when you can’t even walk right.”

Now you’re just lying through your teeth, but you want to hold off the inevitable moment that Mingyu discovers your apparent arousal for as long as possible. The last thing you need right now is for him to laugh in your face.

Mingyu chuckles, then suddenly shifts so that his arms are placed on either side of your head, trapping you underneath him. To his surprise, you do nothing to push him off like you usually do at this point. Still, he doesn’t plan on being the first to back off, so he continues his little game, intent on winning. “See, this is why you can’t find a guy who can satisfy you. You clearly don’t know what to look for.” He leans down until the tip of his nose grazes yours. For good measure, he drops his voice an octave and says, “You’ll be the one who can’t walk right when I’m done with you.”

Perplexingly, his shameless flirting doesn’t make you move as he predicted. Nor does it make you look annoyed. Instead, you look up at him with eyes that are unmistakably glazed over with something he didn’t quite expect to see: pure lust. It immediately sends a rush of blood down to his cock. He blinks. Oh. So this is where the night is going. He only falters for a moment, but he soon flashes a breathtaking smile down at you, his eyes glinting mischievously.

It isn’t like he’s never thought about it before; he had just assumed that once you started calling him your best friend, you were also lowkey telling him that sex was off the table. And it wasn’t like he minded, because he definitely liked being by your side knowing it was fully okay to be himself since you were obligated to love him regardless. Plus there was just something about you that made him want to take care of you and if being your best friend was the only way he could do it, then that had been fine by him. But now that he knows that he can take care of you in another way, in the way that he sometimes found himself yearning for on lonely nights, he is all too eager to break free of the unspoken boundaries between the two of you.

“And what am I looking for?” you whisper.

“It seems like you’re looking for me, baby,” he responds softly, before pressing a kiss where your jaw meets your neck. He slowly drags his lips down the side of your neck, and revels in how it already has you pressing your legs together. “Damn, you weren’t kidding when you said those guys didn’t make you cum, huh? Is that why you’re already so fucking worked up? You want to cum that badly?”

You nod wordlessly, not quite ready for Mingyu to hear the desperate whine that would surely leave your lips as he continues pressing wet kisses along your skin. You opt to simply thread your fingers in his hair and tug hard enough to show your impatience. It seems to trigger something in him; all in an instant, your best friend’s soft lips clash against your own, his tongue easily sliding into your mouth, all the while while his hand reaches down to grab one of your thighs. He squeezes it teasingly before pushing it outwards, which causes the mini skirt you’re wearing to bunch up around your waist, revealing your panties and how they cling to your pussy like a second skin.

“M-mingyu!” you squeak into his lips when you feel his fingers tentatively rub small circles into the wet spot. He nips at your lip harshly as he starts to rub more deliberately, the flimsy fabric of your underwear creating a delicious friction against your clit. “H-hah! Yes, o-oh my god!”

“Fuck, you’re already so wet for me, baby girl,” he chuckles, but he knows he isn’t one to talk while his cock is half hard just from hearing the way you moan his name. “Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of you. You’re not leaving this room until your little pussy cums nice and hard on my cock.”

“Ngh!-- yes p-please! Please, Mingyu,” you beg mindlessly. Your eyebrows are scrunched together in concentration. Despite your best friend’s promises, you are still hesitant to hold out any hope for anything more than what you’re accustomed to, so you try to take as much as you can while it lasts. However, in your lustful daze, you had forgotten that if Kim Mingyu is anything, he is a man of his word.

You let out a high-pitched moan when his fingers suddenly grind harsh circles into your clit, more surprised than anything else that he even knew where to find it. “But first,” he says, licking his lips, “you’re going to be a good girl and cum just like this. Right into your filthy little panties. Can you do that for me, baby?”

He takes your drawn out whine as a response, and continues to rub relentlessly over your hardened clit until your legs begin to shake. That’s when he shoves the soaked material of your underwear to the side and pinches the bud. Hard.

He rolls your clit between the pads of his fingertips over and over, sending jolts of electric pleasure all the way to your toes. It causes them to curl, all the while you feel the heat simmering in your lower abdomen finally coil tighter and tighter. “Fuckfuckfuck,” you chant, the words coming out slurred like you’re a teenager who’s gotten drunk from one sip of champagne. “M-mingyu-- mmh! I t-think I’m going to--!”

A loud cry leaves your lips the moment the coil snaps, and you nearly tear up from how much better it feels to finally cum on someone else’s fingers, especially Mingyu’s long, thick digits. He soothingly slides them through your drenched folds, mesmerized by how much wetness now covered his hand. “That’s it, baby,” he encourages. Once your body slumps back into the mattress, he brings his fingers up to see how they glisten in the light. “We’ve barely even started and look at what the mess you’ve already made. You must have been waiting so long for me to fuck you, huh?”

Not even your post-orgasm buzz can keep you from getting irked by Mingyu’s cockiness, which is why you reach your own hand down to squeeze his cock through his jeans. “Seems like I’m not the only one who’s been waiting for this,” you say with a sly grin of your own. He watches you, jaw clenched, as you swiftly pop the button of his pants open and slip your fingers past the waistband of his underwear to take hold of his fully hardened member.

It feels warm and heavy in your palm, which can barely wrap around the girth. You bite your lip, your pussy greedily clenching around nothing at the thought of how good it would stretch you out.

“I should have known you’d be a fucking tease,” Mingyu rasps. His hips buck into your hand involuntarily, and his smile returns when he notices how the movement makes you whimper in anticipation.

There is a beat of silence when you and Mingyu meet eyes before the both of you begin undressing each other as fast as you can, haphazardly tugging off both your shirts, his pants, and your pesky undergarments. Once he’s tossed aside your soiled panties, he immediately presses your thighs apart to get a full view of your sopping cunt. “So pretty,” he mumbles to himself, spreading the lips apart with his fingers. His member throbs at the sight, the tip leaking precum when he sees how your pussy clenches in anticipation. “I bet it’s going to look even prettier when it’s taking my fat cock, don’t you think?”

The two of you watch in awe as Mingyu starts to sink into your entrance, a garbled moan leaving your lips when the tip alone already has you feeling so full. “Mingyu, h-how is-- ooh!-- your d-dick soo-- f-fucking big? A-Ah!” It takes a good while for you to finish your sentence as each of Mingyu’s shallow thrusts leave you gasping for air. By the time he bottoms out, the both of you are panting hard, both engrossed by how snugly his cock fits in your walls.

“Shit, if I had known you’d be this tight, I would have fucked you sooner,” Mingyu groans. He slowly drags his member out of you, letting you feel every inch of him before he surges forward into a feverish pace that already has his bed frame creaking loudly. He is definitely getting a noise complaint from his grumpy neighbors tonight. But seeing you underneath him like this, lips parted and legs spread, definitely makes it difficult to care about anything other than the desire to hear more of your needy cries. “Does it feel good, baby girl? Do you like how my cock fills your little pussy?”

“It fuh--!--ngh, feels s-soo good,” Having already came once, your sensitivity is on overload, and each rough thrust of Mingyu’s hips, each crude slap of his skin against yours, is enough to drive you closer and closer to delirium. “Mmh-- please, Mingyu! F-fuck me so deep!”

“Anything for my little cockslut.” He moves quickly to kneel between your legs, hooking his arms underneath your knees to keep them open as he continues to pound into you. The new position instantly makes you keen loudly, eyes rolling to the back of your head when you feel his member brush against your cervix.

“Fuuuuck,” you sob and clutch at the sheets. His grip on your legs tightens and he angles his hips so that he hits that spot every time, rendering you completely incoherent. You want to beg him to fuck you like this forever, to tell him you’d do anything to feel his cock fuck you open every night, but you can only babble, unable to comprehend anything that isn’t the insatiable thirst burning within you.

“Damn baby, did I fuck you stupid?” Seeing you so drunk on his cock, he wonders how anyone could ever fuck you without wanting to see you cum over and over again. His hair falls over his eyes as he fucks up into you with renewed vigor, his hot skin covered in a light sheen of sweat. He grits his teeth when he feels how tightly your walls grip onto him.“Shit-- you must want me to make you cum again, baby girl. Your little pussy just keeps sucking me in.”

“H-hah, y-yes! Yes, please god, Mingyu, I want to c-cum again. P-please let me cum,” you beg, practically writhing as you pathetically attempt to meet his thrusts. Without any hesitation, Mingyu brings down his thumb and presses it into your swollen clit, causing your body to seize up suddenly. “A-Aah Mingyu! I’m--!” The intensity of your orgasm has your back arching off the mattress, head thrown back in a silent scream. Wave after wave of pleasure continuously washes over you, seemingly unending, unlike any orgasm you ever thought possible.

“That’s right baby girl, get my cock nice and wet,” Mingyu growls. He fucks you through your release as he sloppily chases his own, not too far behind with how your walls are pulsing around him. He makes sure his cock is deep inside you and stills his hips when fills you with his hot cum. “Fuck, this pussy was fucking made for me.”

Just as you think you’ve finally come down from your high, he pulls out of you and he shifts to lower himself to place his mouth on your spent pussy. “M-mingyu!”

You squirm and half-heartedly try to shove his head away, far too sensitive to have his tongue licking into your leaking entrance, but Mingyu is persistent. He pushes your legs to your chest to keep you from squeezing them close, and hums when he tastes the hot mixture of your and his own cum on his lips. The way he slurps and sucks at your folds is absolutely sinful as he eats you out like you’re the most delectable treat. It almost hurts to feel so much ecstasy at once, but it still leaves you mewling for more, unable to get enough of the boy.

Your third orgasm ripples over you when he suddenly scrapes his teeth over your abused clit, and you feel a tear slide down your cheek as you weakly shake against his mouth.

Mingyu is smiling when he pulls away, looking slightly ridiculous with how his lips still glisten with cum. You tiredly slump back into his pillows, eyes already drooping close. “What is it?”

“I told you I could do it~” he says proudly. He goes to grab some tissues from the bedside table so that he could start cleaning you up, giggling all the while. It really is unfair how he could look so cute moments after railing you into another dimension.

You groan. You’re never going to hear the end of this.

#seventeen smut #mingyu smut #seventeen scenarios #mingyu scenarios #mingyu fanfic #svt smut #m:kmg #l:os #g:pwp #listen tumblr it would be fantastic if this worked in the tags the first time #pretty pls

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laurenairay · 4 years

Text

Found You - J. Oleksiak

Summary: You thought you’d finally found the perfect guy – were you right?

Word count: 12k

Warnings: super cute fluff, some angst

A/N: So the wonderful @whatishockey inspired me to write a full story of this Big Rig blurb I wrote in my Valentine’s Day list. Without her encouragement and sweet words this wouldn’t be in existence - so thank you! This one is for you 💖 The scenes in the blurb are referenced but not repeated in this fic, so do feel free to read the blurb too!

Also tagging: @danglesnipecelly @texanstarslove @itsbadgerbadgermushroom @chicagoblackhawkslover96 @princessphilly @denis-scorianov @broadstbroskis @thebookofmags @shelbsatans @antoineroussel

It was only meant to be one night. One night in a bar. One night of fun and dancing. One night of passion. A one night stand.

You’d been out on a girl’s night, cocktails in a local bar, when you’d spotted him across the room. Not just because of how tall and broad he was, head and shoulders above everyone else, but…because of his smile.

That big confident beautiful smile made your breath hitch in your throat, and the moment that he locked eyes on you and turned the full force of that smile in your direction, you knew you were done for. That smile stayed on his face as he walked over to you, slow smooth and confident, because he knew exactly what effect he was having.

What had surprised you was that it wasn’t just quick conversation and back to his. It wasn’t just a drink each and then leaving. He danced with you, had several drinks with you, talked with you for hours. It didn’t feel like a usual hook-up from a bar – it felt different. He made you feel special.

You didn’t know until the next morning that he didn’t usually ask a one night stand to stay over. You didn’t know until the next morning that he’d never made a hook-up breakfast before. You didn’t know until the next morning that he thought meeting you was special too.

That’s when everything changed. Instead of the one night you had meant it to be, Jamie had asked for your number, asked you out on a date the very next night. One date turned into two, into three, until it was a month in. A month of incredible sex and amazing dates and a wonderful guy. You knew it was happening so fast, but you were already falling for him. How could you not? You spent every spare moment thinking about him, about seeing him again, even if it was nothing official yet.

Never had anyone treated you like this before. So special, so important. Never had anyone put such a smile on your face, got your stomach filling with butterflies, made you feel so giddy. This guy was different – Jamie was someone worth pursuing something real with.

You could only hope he felt the same way.

Jamie couldn’t wipe the smile off his face as he ended his Valentine’s Day phone call. Going on a roadtrip two days before Valentine’s Day had really thrown off his original plans. Jamie had initially thought of taking you out on a romantic candlelit dinner, showering you with gifts and taking his time bringing you pleasure over and over again back home, but thanks to hockey he wasn’t able to, as much as it frustrated him. Pavs had seen his frustration easily, had suggested surprising you with something to remind you that he was still thinking of you, even when he wasn’t there – and Jamie had taken him up on that with the giant bouquet delivered to your office as well as the follow-up phone call tonight.

He definitely hadn’t planned on defining his relationship with you over the phone, but the fact that you agreed to be his officially? Even if you wanted to hear it in person too? Mindblowing. Like there was any way he was going to change his mind about this – he hadn’t lied at all when he talked to you. He couldn’t stop thinking about you, to the point where a lot of the guys on the team were teasing him, but he didn’t care.

This feeling, this hopeful wonderful feeling that you gave him whenever you smiled his way – it was everything. That someone like you would even give him the time of day when he could never guarantee being there by your side (ie. Valentine’s Day absence) made him feel like the luckiest guy in the world. Call it sappy, call it head over heels, call it whatever, he didn’t care. Being with you made all of it worth it.

He couldn’t wait to ask you in person, to take you out to dinner and call you his girlfriend. Just the thought of it put a stupid smile on his face.

And the stupid smile was still there when he left his room a little later to meet the team for dinner.

“What’s got you grinning like an idiot?”

Well that was fast. Jamie snapped out of his thoughts, rolling his eyes at Tyler’s words, Dickie, Bish and Pavs all behind him.

“Nothing,” Jamie shrugged, although he knew that the smile on his face hadn’t dimmed at all, and wasn’t exactly helping his case.

“Uh huh,” Bish snorted, making Jamie blush slightly.

“Anything to do with…hmm, the woman you’ve been seeing for a month now?” Pavs teased.

Damn it.

“Yeah, alright, you win. I was just on the phone with her,” Jamie admitted.

“You snuck in phone sex before dinner?” Dickie asked, surprised.

Jamie just punched him in the arm, rolling his eyes as the others laughed.

“No, I finally asked her to be my girl,” Jamie retorted.

Oh, wait, there was the smile again. Oh well.

“Officially?” Pavs asked, a big smile on his face too.

“Yeah, man, officially,” Jamie nodded, grinning.

Even saying those words felt amazing. Finally. Finally.

“About time,” Dickie snickered.

“Yeah, yeah, I get it,” Jamie mused.

“You know his moon eyes are only going to get worse now though,” Tyler teased, “it’s bad enough with that stupid smile on his face,”

“Oh man, yeah, he was already enough of a big soft sap before,” Bish nodded, smirking slightly.

“I am right here you know,” Jamie said, rolling his eyes, although his smile still hadn’t lessened.

How could his smile change? This was the happiest he’d been in a long time.

“Well I think it’s great that you asked her,” Pavs mused, nudging Tyler with his shoulder.

Tyler nudged him back, sticking his tongue out.

“Thanks,” Jamie said warmly, “I know it’s only been a month but she’s special,”

“Booooo,”

Jamie laughed at the chorus around him, shaking his head. Okay so maybe he was a bit of a sap. But you were worth it, he knew that much. And he didn’t care what anyone else thought about it.

“What are we booing?”

Jamie looked over at the voice, smiling at the sight of his Captain.

“Big Rig caught feelings,” Dickie teased.

“Ugh, feelings,” Benn groaned, although Jamie could see the laughter in his eyes, “can’t have that,”

Jamie just rolled his eyes, laughing. “Can we talk about something other than my love life?”

“I vote yes!” Tyler said loudly, winking at Jamie, “where are you paying for dinner, Cap?”

Well at least that fuelled a discussion loud enough to get the attention off him. Now all Jamie needed to do was think of somewhere to take you out for dinner when he got home…

It was another week before Jamie arrived back from his roadtrip. The two of you still spoke on the phone every night, still messaged throughout the day, but knowing that he’d asked you to be his girlfriend? And that he’d agreed to ask you again in person, even just to sooth your own anxiety? Well that changed everything.

You were now Jamie Oleksiak’s girlfriend. Hah. Even just saying it to yourself put the silliest smile on your face. And you couldn’t wait to see him again.

Jamie had arranged for the two of you to meet at the restaurant, having made reservations, and then you’d agreed to go over to his after to stay the night. Apparently this was what he had intended to do for Valentine’s Day, to take you out like this – better late than never, right?

So all dressed up in your favourite little black dress and classy stilettos, you met Jamie outside a fancy-looking Italian restaurant. He was already waiting when your uber pulled up, and the smile he greeted you with made your heartbeat race. Wow, he really does look handsome all dressed up in a clean-cut suit.

“Hey, you look incredible,” he said in greeting.

He leant down to pressing his lips to yours before you could answer, kissing you slowly and sweetly in a way that made you clutch at the lapels of his suit jacket. Wow. Then he pulled away with a slightly dazed smile, and you knew you must look exactly the same.

“You look pretty damn good yourself,” was all you could say.

Jamie just grinned. “Shall we?” he asked, tilting his head towards the restaurant.

You just tucked your hand into the crook of his arm and nodded.

The two of you walked inside, your breath hitching in your throat at the sophisticated décor, trying not to feel out of place as Jamie gave his name for the reservation. He must’ve felt you freeze because he leant down to press a kiss to the top of your head, winking with a cheeky smile, making you giggle and smile back. Jamie wanted you here with him - that was all that mattered.

In no time at all, the two of you were lead to your table, Jamie ordering wine before the waiter left you in peace for a moment.

“So now that I’ve got you here in person…”

You felt your cheeks warming as he trailed off, that beautiful smile of his making your heart beat a little faster. Well he wasted no time at all.

“Yes, Jamie?” you said, trying to be as calm as possible.

“Obviously I haven’t changed my mind. I was never going to change my mind. Will you be my girlfriend?” he asked.

Your breath hitched in your throat, his blunt question affecting you just like it did when he’d asked you over the phone, and it was all you could do to nod. “Yeah of course I will, Jamie. My answer hasn’t changed either,”

Jamie laughed softly, almost as if he was relieved, making your chest fill with a little anxiety. Was he really that worried?

“You didn’t think I would change my mind, did you?” you asked, frowning slightly.

Jamie’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “No, not really. I just…I really like you so I was just filled with so much hope?” he offered.

You couldn’t help but laugh, nudging your foot against his.

“I really like you too,” you said, a little shyly.

“Well that’s good. Because I bought you something,” he said, grinning.

What?

Jamie bit his bottom lip before reaching into the inside pocket of his jacket and pulling out a box. A pale blue box branding that you actually recognised – Tiffany’s.

Why would he…

“Here, I saw these and thought of you,” Jamie said sweetly, “Happy belated Valentine’s Day,”

You inhaled sharply as he passed you the box, unable to do anything but stay silent as you opened it. Inside were the most beautiful square diamond earrings you had ever seen, perfectly cut and polished. Fuck, these must’ve been so much money. Why did he spend that on you? Why would he…why? You swallowed heavily, looking back up at him. Jamie seemed to freeze at the trepidation on your face.

“Is something wrong?” he asked nervously.

“I…why did you buy me something so expensive? I don’t need…”

You trailed off, glancing back down at the beautiful earrings before letting out a shaky breath.

“Jamie, why?” was all you could say.

His tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip, and he sighed. “I really did just see these earrings and think how nice they would look on you, and that maybe you would like them? It may sound stupid, but I like buying things for the people I care about. Like, I fought so hard to work my way onto the team, still fight for a permanent place every day, and the fact that things are finally becoming more settled for me means that I have money I never had before,”

You opened your mouth but quickly shut it with a click, the look on Jamie’s face telling you he wasn’t finished.

“It’s not about showing off my money though. Everything that I’ve worked for means that I can spend money on things I never would’ve been able to otherwise. I like being able to treat the most important people in my life. You’re one of those people now. And I know that you don’t need expensive things, which is why I wanted to buy these earrings in the first place. You would never ask – you would never assume you were entitled to them, as the girlfriend of an NHL player. You just like me for me, and I wanted to show you how much that means to me. It’s, like, my love language or whatever. Seggy made me do a quiz,”

You couldn’t help but laugh, hand rising up to cover your smile afterwards. Of all the things to break the emotional moment. “Seggy made you do a quiz?”

Jamie blushed furiously, but nodded. “The love language thing fits too, how I like to show affection. He said I needed to know how to treat you right, how to show you how I feel. So you would never doubt it, even when I’m not there,”

You bit your bottom lip, glancing down at the gift once more.

“I don’t doubt it,” you said softly.

When you looked back up at him, Jamie had the biggest smile on his face, making your stomach fill with butterflies.

“So do you like them?” he asked hopefully.

“Yeah, of course I do Jamie. Just…this love language thing, it doesn’t mean gifts like this all the time, y’know? It’s just as meaningful to me to bring me, like, eggs when I run out or a cute pair of socks or whatever,”

Because as much as Jamie wanted to spend his money on you, he really didn’t need to. Expensive jewellery, as incredibly beautiful as it is and as astounded as you were that he’d even seen them and thought of you, wasn’t something you could use all the time. It could be a balance, right?

“I’ll bear that in mind,” Jamie grinned, “That doesn’t mean I won’t buy something for you if I see it though,”

You bit your bottom lip to hide the smile that threatened to spread across your face. Such a ridiculous man. Shutting the box in your hand, you slipped it carefully into your handbag for safekeeping.

“I still can’t believe you bought me Tiffany’s earrings. I’ll save them for special occasions? They’re so beautiful, Jamie,” you said, voice filled with wonder, even to your ears.

“Like I said, I saw them and thought of you,” Jamie shrugged, although his smile showed you just how pleased he was with that.

You felt your cheeks warm up at the compliment, a smile spreading across your own lips. “Shall we look at the menus before the waiter comes back?” you asked, trying to get the attention of yourself.

Jamie laughed, just nodding. “That’s probably a good idea,”

You picked up the menu, hiding the smile on your face that had now turned stupid, even more so as Jamie nudged your foot with his again. If this was just him asking you to be his girlfriend? Well, you couldn’t wait to see where your relationship went next.

You thought the little things Jamie did would stop now that you were official, now that he wasn’t trying to woo you anymore.

But if anything, his romantic nature only increased.

Even in only the space of a few days, the few days he had off with light training before his next home game, he delivered another bouquet of flowers to your workplace (making you the envy of your bank of desks) as well as meeting you for lunch every day. You knew it couldn’t last, couldn’t keep up like this (even just because of the fact that he would go on a roadtrip again soon enough), so you were soaking it all in while you could.

There was nothing wrong with enjoying the ‘honeymoon period’ of your relationship, right?

And it wasn’t just flowers and lunches – it was the little things too. Officially being his girlfriend seemed to take a door off its hinges in terms of affection from Jamie. He would give you a gentle kiss on the forehead in passing. He would kiss you on the cheek when you were sitting in his arms watching tv. He gave your hand a little squeeze whenever your hands were clasped, fingers linked while you were walking down the street.

It was all of these little romantic affectionate things that made your heart beat a little faster, your stomach fill with butterflies, your cheeks ache with a smile. He was so so sweet – surely this would last?

You could only hope.

Tonight was a big night. Well, perhaps not for some, but for you? Huge.

Tonight you were going to a game for the first time as Jamie’s girlfriend. You were going to be sitting with the other spouses and partners. While you were excited, of course, you were also so nervous. Who wouldn’t be? This was a big step. This was public. You were going to be sitting with Jamie’s surname on your jersey, identifying you as his. And that was a lot.

But he was so excited to see you at a game, to see him play when you were official, and there was no way you could say no. This was just nerves, that’s all. You could get over a few nerves for him, right?

So after putting on a cute pair of boots with your comfiest jeans and a warm long-sleeved top, you slipped on the Oleksiak jersey Jamie had given you, biting your bottom lip when you saw his name across your back. When you saw how much you liked it.

Yeah, maybe you could get used to this.

Hair loosely curled and make-up applied to perfection, you walked into the arena with the pass that Jamie gave you, smiling nervously as you made your way to your seat. The sheer size of the arena never failed to amaze you – the vast white spread of the ice vs the roar of the crowd was always a little overwhelming, which didn’t help your nerves. But you tried to focus on that rush of excitement for gametime, the underlying buzz you could already feel from the fans – that’s what kept your feet moving forward step by step. It wasn’t long before you spotted the names Bishop, Cogliano, Pavelski…

“Hey, you made it! Tyler said you were coming to support Riggy today,”

Tyler? Oh Seguin, of course, duh.

“Yeah Jamie gave Tyler my number, he was pretty enthusiastic about welcoming me to the team,” you said, smiling.

The beautiful blonde rolled her eyes fondly. “Yeah that sounds like Tyler,”

You just giggled, earning another smile.

“Come on, I’ll introduce you to everybody before warm-ups start,” she said, “I have no doubt that Riggy will take up all your attention as soon as he gets on the ice,”

Your cheeks flared with heat as she winked…but her teasing set you at ease. She was welcoming you like you already belonged, like you were already seamlessly part of the group – was that Jamie’s doing? Did he ask them to be nice to you? No…even if he did, that didn’t mean she had to be genuine about it. Deep breaths, you could do this.

“Come on!” she grinned, beckoning you forward.

You grinned back at her, letting her lead you towards the other women. There were a lot of faces, a lot of beautiful glamorous faces to put names to, but by the time you’d been introduced to everyone and guided into a seat, warm-ups started. Without even meaning to, you immediately started searching for Jamie’s familiar body, knowing you’d at least be able to identify him that way, head and shoulders above everyone else as always.

“Aww look at Riggy searching for you,”

You bit your lip to hide your smile at Andrea Bishop’s words, just waving as Jamie finally spotted you. When he waved back, his whole face lighting up, the other spouses and partners aww’d and cooed, making you laugh. You didn’t hesitate to blow Jamie a kiss, which he pretended to catch and press into his heart, making you laugh again at the cheesiness of the action. Jamie just winked at you before skating off to make some passes, your nerves finally settling.

“Oh wow, Tyler was right, you two really are sugary sweet,”

Oops, guilty.

“Yeah he is so head over heels, it’s so cute. There’s no way Riggy isn’t going to be showing off, playing like a beast tonight,”

You just laughed, shrugging.

“I can’t wait,” you grinned.

A chorus of cheers sounded from the women around you, making your stomach fill with butterflies. Somehow, with Jamie’s name across your shoulders and the smiles of the women around you, you felt like you belonged. Was it really that easy?

Weeks came and went. Games were won and lost. Jamie stayed the ever-sweet gentleman. You slowly relaxed into your new relationship. It felt like you were floating on a cloud, living in a dream…and if was a dream, you sure as hell didn’t want to wake up.

Every day he found a way to make you smile, to laugh, to count your lucky stars, and even your family was getting excited about this relationship. Jamie was…everything. He made it clear that he only wanted the best for you, even to the point of making your Instagram account private due to some unsavoury comments from ‘fans’. And it didn’t even matter whether you were in his fancy apartment or your not-so-fancy apartment – he made every moment one that you treasured.

It sounds sappy, it sounds dumb, it sounds too good to be true, you knew that. But you didn’t care. This was the happiest you’d ever been, and if it was too good to last like this then you were going to embrace and enjoy every single minute of it.

Tonight you were out at a bar with Jamie and his friends, all dolled up for Joel Kiviranta’s birthday, and you just knew that tonight was going to be one to remember.

“Happy birthday Kivi!!”

The birthday boy grinned at the loud cheers, accepting rough pats on the back and hair ruffles as he made his way to the large booth that the Captain had organised, the other Finns walking behind him. The bar was huge – dark lights but classy tables and booths – and while it was busy it wasn’t heaving with people. The music was just loud enough and the booths were spread out enough that you had enough privacy from the next group of people. It was the perfect place to celebrate Jamie’s friend’s birthday. You just grinned from where you were sitting on Jamie’s lap, enjoying the feeling of his arms wrapped around you, especially so publicly. All of this still felt so new, even after nearly 3 months in – but being surrounded by this much love, this huge family feeling…well, it was quickly becoming addictive. Who wouldn’t want to be in the middle of all of this?

“Captain buys the first round!”

The man in question rolled his eyes with a grin at Tyler’s loud declaration, dragging Bish up to the bar to help him too.

“Ready to let loose tonight?” Jamie murmured in your ear.

“Sounds like fun to me,” you grinned, turning your body to face him slightly.

Jamie grinned back, pecking your lips with a gentle kiss, before continuing his conversation with Dickie on his left, making you laugh and turn to Tyler on your right.

“Here’s to a good night!” Tyler smirked.

A good night indeed.

One drink turned to two, which turned to five, which turned to you needing to go to the bathroom pretty badly. You were still in the group booth, but rather than sitting on Jamie’s lap you were sitting next to him, some space having been made after some of the team went off to dance.

“Hey, let me past?” you said to Jamie, where he was blocking the exit of the booth.

“Where are you going?” he frowned.

You rolled your eyes fondly. “To the bathroom, and no you can’t come with,”

Jamie blushed fiercely but quickly stood up to let you out, making you laugh. As he sat back down, you leant down to press a slow sweet kiss to his lips, unable to stop yourself from smiling as Jamie’s hands clutched at your hips. He groaned at the whistles and jeers that sounded around you, making you laugh again, but you pecked one last kiss to his lips before standing up properly.

“Don’t miss me too much,” you teased, stepping away from him

“Hate to see you go, love to watch you leave!” he called back, earning loud laughter from the group.

You laughed loudly too, shaking your head, blowing him a kiss before you navigated your way across the bar to the bathrooms in the back. Thankfully it was empty, leaving you to do your business in peace. But just as you were pulling your underwear back up, the door crashed open, and two girls entered. From what you could hear, with their giggling and stumbling, they were well past drunk, so you sighed and sat down on the closed toilet seat, preferring to wait until they were gone to leave and wash your hands. Zero drama, please and thank you.

You tuned out as they started talking, Girl 1’s nasally voice loud and abrasive with Girl 2’s giggle already irritating…until you heard them start talking about the Stars. Then you couldn’t stop yourself from listening.

“…yeah it’s one of their birthdays. One of the Finns I think? I don’t know. Or care,” Girl 1 said.

Lovely. A big fan then.

“I don’t know, I reckon he wouldn’t mind a birthday treat,” Girl 2 laughed. You could only imagine the grin on her face, given the giggles from Girl 1.

“It’s such a shame that Big Rig looks out of commission though,” Girl 2 sighed.

Out of commission? Charming.

Then the other girl snickered, and you had no doubt she was rolling her eyes.

“So what? It’s not like this one is going to be around very long. He never commits to a steady girl,” her nasal voice said indifferently.

What?

You swallowed heavily, a pit of nausea filling your stomach. She was just making things up, right?

“I don’t know, this one’s already been around longer than usual,” Girl 2 said.

Girl 1, nasty nasal, just giggled. “Then obviously she’ll be out on her ear soon. She’s nothing special anyway. Trust me, Big Rig’s never committed before, and that isn’t going to change now,”

Oh fuck. You clasped a shaky hand over your mouth to hide the whimper that threatened to spill out. She was lying right? She had to be lying. Fuck, fuck why were you still listening to this?

“Come on, let’s go get some guys to buy us shots,” Girl 1 said.

The two of them walked out of the bathroom, but their smug words rang around your head, and it was all you could do to take a shaky breath, tears filling your eyes. The nausea only got worse, bile rising in your throat, but you took shaky breath after shaky breath until it settled again.

He never commits.

She’ll be out soon.

She’s nothing special.

That isn’t going to change.

Oh fuck. You choked out a sob before shaking your head, running a shaky hand through your hair. No, no you couldn’t stay around here knowing that’s what people thought of you. You couldn’t bear the stares and the smirks and the snickering. Not tonight, not now, not in front of the whole team and their better halves. Jamie…he wouldn’t, right? He wouldn’t act like that?

But what if they were right?

No, no, they had to be wrong. But still…what if?

What the hell were you meant to think? Whatever it was, you couldn’t decide here, couldn’t decide now. You had to go, that was the only way to preserve at least a little bit of your dignity. Fuck.

Yeah, leaving, collecting your thoughts, taking a step back, that was the way to handle this. Not to make a scene – that really wasn’t your style. Jamie…

Fuck, Jamie.

Jamie would just have to deal with it tonight. You didn’t want to say something you’d regret, that was for sure. So with a deep breath and a brief close of your eyes for confidence, you left your bathroom stall, washing your hands and quickly reapplying your lipstick in the mirror as armour. Yes, leaving was the best idea. At least for tonight.

The nausea returned as you walked back over to the group booth, and you knew that Jamie wasn’t the only one that noticed the unease on your face.

“Hey, what’s up?” he frowned.

“I don’t feel that great, so I’m going to head home,” you said softly, just loud enough to be heard over the music.

With that, you grabbed your jacket and walked away, not waiting for an answer. You sure as hell didn’t want to give anyone a chance to convince you to stay. But within seconds Jamie was by your side, his own jacket in his hand.

“Hey, wait up,” he said, smiling as he rested a hand on your shoulder.

Damn it.

“Stay, Jamie,” you said shortly, stopping in your tracks and turning round to face him.

“What?” he said, confused, “if you don’t feel well then I want to make sure you get home okay,”

“I don’t want you to come with me,” you snapped.

The hurt that spread across Jamie’s face made you feel sick all over again, but for different reasons. Oh fuck. That…that wasn’t what you meant at all. Where did that come from? Damn it.

“Um, I…”

“Just go back to your friends, J,” you sighed, interrupting, “I want to be alone right now,”

“Okay,” he said quietly, shoulders slumped in defeat, “Let me know when you get home?”

You just nodded, offering a weak smile before you turned and walked out towards the exit. Pulling your phone out of your bag, you quickly ordered an uber, thankful there was a car only 4 minutes away. At least something was going right tonight.

“I saw you and Riggy, you know,”

You flinched at the sound of Tyler’s voice as he stepped up next to you but stayed silent, not wanting to get into it. Not with him. Tyler just sighed.

“Obviously I don’t know what happened or what was said, but seeing you look that angry, and then Riggy looking so upset, only for you to walk out looking just as upset? I couldn’t just let you leave like that without checking you’re okay,” Tyler said softly.

Maybe he should’ve just let it go. But you knew Tyler well enough to know that he wasn’t going to drop this, not easily.

“It’s nothing,” you murmured.

Tyler just hmm’d. You laughed weakly, running a hand through your hair. Of all the time for him to be particularly insightful.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” you sighed.

Tyler smiled sadly at the defeat in your voice but nodded. At least he wasn’t going to push you for a proper answer. At least he was letting you leave with a little bit of dignity.

“Let me know when you get home safe? I’ll let you know when Riggy’s home safe too. He’s already downed a few shots so I don’t think he’s going to be in a good shape,” he said quietly.

It was all you could do to nod, wrapping your arms around yourself. Jamie was lucky to have such a good friend. With another sad smile, Tyler pulled you into a hug, not letting go until your uber pulled up to the curb. He gave your shoulder one last squeeze before stepping backwards, and you shut the door in silence, desperately trying not to break down just yet. The uber driver seemed to sense your mood, pulling away with nothing more than a gruff hello, and you just rested your head against the glass as you noticed Tyler still watching you.

You could only hope that he didn’t notice the tears trickling down your cheeks.

What a terrible night.

You still weren’t entirely sure if leaving had been the best idea…but you did know that the words those girls said still haunted you. Of course, you’d barely slept, their horrible comments swirling around in your brain, not made any better by the increasingly incoherent pleading texts that Jamie had sent you, as well as the confirmation from Tyler that he’d personally dropped Jamie off at his apartment because he was far too drunk to get home by himself.

You didn’t want to dwell on what had happened. But you also didn’t want to admit how much your insecurities played into their words. You couldn’t bear the thought of any of it being even remotely true – and you also couldn’t bear the thought of seeing Jamie look so hurt again.

So what the hell were you meant to do?

It was stupidly early when you dragged yourself out of bed, knowing full well that sleep wasn’t coming. You hadn’t bothered showering, hair a mess and eyes a little pandary where you’d only half-heartedly removed your make-up last night – coffee was the only thing you were focused on. Sweet sweet coffee, the only thing that was going to get to moving today.

But as you poured your first cup, the buzzer for your front door went, so you went to the intercom with a frown.

“Hello?” you asked hesitantly.

“Hey, it’s me. Can I come up?”

Jamie. Oh wow. What was he doing here at this time? You didn’t answer him, just bit your bottom lip as you pressed the buzzer to let him into the apartment building. There was no point in getting dressed or putting on make-up – he knew full well what you looked like at this time of day so he could deal with it. Well, that, and there was no time to do much anyway. All you did was scrub a little at the stubborn mascara, ensuring you looked a little less tragic and tear-streaked. By the time he was knocking on your front door, anxious butterflies had filled your stomach, but you let him in anyway, taking in his dishevelled appearance, wearing sweatpants and a tshirt that you knew he only wore when he was planning on lying around at home. So why was he wearing them out now?

“Thanks for letting me in,” Jamie murmured, closing the front door behind him.

“Why wouldn’t I?” you frowned.

Jamie winced, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “I wasn’t sure where we stood after last night,”

“Jamie…”

You trailed off, sighing, the nausea and frustration and desperation of last night flooding your body all over again. Jamie swallowed heavily, taking a step closer towards you, but you couldn’t produce any more words.

“I didn’t want this to linger and fester, whatever it is. Whatever happened that set you off last night, whatever it was, I just…I wanted to make sure you were okay,” Jamie said sadly.

Any lingering anger or frustration you had fizzled away, and your shoulders slumped in defeat. Jamie frowned as your face crumpled, immediately stepping those final steps forward to pull you into his arms. That was all it took to make you start crying again, awful harrowing sobs into his chest, and Jamie cursed under his breath before holding you tighter, hand rubbing your back soothingly. It was like all the emotions that had hit you full force last night were resurging again now, full blast and agonising, and it was all you could do to bury your face into his tshirt, clutching at the material at the small of his back like an anchor.

You were lost, drowning in the hurt and misery you felt from those nasty words, and Jamie was the only thing keeping your head above water.

Eventually, somehow, your sobs softened down to sniffles, Jamie releasing his hold on you a little.

“Why don’t you take a shower, and then we can talk?” he said softly.

You just nodded miserably, bottom lip still trembling as Jamie gently guided you to the bathroom. You were exhausted – mentally and physically drained – and the only thing you really wanted to do was sleep. But Jamie was right, the two of you needed to talk. He turned on the shower for you, helping you out of your pyjamas, an oversized tshirt and short shorts, nothing sexual about his motions in the slightest. He just wanted to help, as he always did. Sweet gentle giant.

“I’ll be outside when you’re ready,” he murmured.

You mustered up a smile and nodded, letting him leave the bathroom before your smile dropped. You let the hot water pour down over your face and body, washing away the angst, the drama, the frustration, the sorrow. Things would get better, right? You’d get through this, right?

By the time you got out of the shower you felt a little less emotionally shaky, but still physically tired. It wasn’t like you could turn Jamie away now though. There was nothing else for it – you had to get back out there and face him. Luckily you’d left your dressing gown in the bathroom, so after drying yourself off and wrapping your hair in a towel, you threw on the dressing gown and headed into your bedroom…where Jamie was lounging on the bed, legs kicked up and back propped up by pillows.

“Don’t you look comfy,” you mused.

The smile he sent you in return, that beautiful big smile, made your stomach fizzle with butterflies.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, reaching a hand out towards you.

You instinctively took his offered hand in your own, smiling as he squeezed your fingers gently.

“Been better, been worse,” you shrugged, not wanting to lie.

Jamie’s smile dimmed to a frown. Here it goes…

“What happened last night? Everything was fine – or at least I thought it was?” he asked, confused.

Straight to it then.

“I don’t think you’re going to like it,” you hesitated.

Jamie’s squeezed your hand again, tugging to gently closer to him, until he could rest a hand on your waist.

“I just want to know what upset you so that I can make sure it doesn’t happen again in the future,” Jamie said earnestly, eyes wide and face serious.

Well damn. You sighed, taking a step backwards, earning a frown until you flipped your head upside down to quickly rough-dry your hair, making Jamie laugh softly. You flipped it back with a shrug and a small smile, dropping the damp towel to the floor – if you were going to bare your heart then you wanted to feel a little less ridiculous than with a towel wrapped on your head.

“It was nothing to do with you. Well, not directly? I was in the bathroom, about to exit the stall to wash my hands when these two girls came in. I stayed sitting in the stall because they sounded really drunk – loud and giggling and stumbling – and I didn’t think anything of it until they mentioned the Stars. So I continued to stay in the stall, and that’s when they started talking about you,”

“About me?” Jamie asked, confused.

You bit your lip briefly but nodded.

“Yeah, about you. How you never commit to any girl, to any relationship. How I’ll be out the door soon. How I’m nothing special. How you’d never change just because you’re with me for the moment,”

Jamie’s jaw dropped and he opened his mouth…but you shook your head, needing to finish.

“Everything they said hit me in my insecurities, Jamie. They made me feel like shit and start doubting everything, and I just needed to leave because I didn’t want to face anyone. And before I said something to you that I would regret. Then I went ahead and hurt you anyway, which only made me feel worse,”

There it was.

“Baby, you’ve got to know that nothing they said is true,” Jamie said gruffly, eyes shining.

Right.

“So you’ve been in a committed relationship before?” you snapped back.

You knew he hadn’t. You already knew that. So why did he say it?

“Well, no, that part’s true,” Jamie winced.

“Is that why you send me flowers, buy me gifts, shower me with compliments? Is that what you do? What you’ve done with all those other girls?”

As soon as those words left your mouth, you regretted saying them – but it was too late. Jamie’s jaw dropped, hurt flashing across his face just like last night, before he shook his head firmly. “No, I haven’t done any of that with any other girl,”

“You haven’t?” you asked dryly, folding your arms over your chest.

“No!” he insisted, “They were never worth it. Yeah, I used to sleep around a little. I’m not ashamed of that. It was fun and easy and I didn’t want the commitment when I was trying to cement a place for myself up on the team. But then I met you, and that all changed,”

You swallowed heavily, looking away from him as your eyes pricked with tears. You wanted to believe. You wanted to believe him so much. By looking away, you missed the way Jamie’s forehead creased with a hurt expression again, but you didn’t miss it as he stood up and moved to stand in front of you, so you had no choice but to look up at him.

“I know it sounds like I’m just saying these things, but it’s true. You can ask any of the guys. I’ve never felt like this before for any woman. I’ve never acted this way around another woman. You are so special to me – and I don’t want to go back to that life I had before I met you. This relationship we have is serious to me, and I don’t want to lose that because some jealous catty girls made you feel insecure about what we have between us,”

You couldn’t help but whimper at his soft words, chin quivering as you fought not to cry again, one hand coming up to cover your mouth. Jamie made a distressed noise, guiding you to sit down on the bed and kneeling down in front of you so you could see the anguish on his face too.

“I don’t know what else to do or say for you to believe me. I care about you so much, and I know that my track record doesn’t exactly help me out here, but you’re different. What we have is different. Please believe me,” Jamie said desperately.

The devastation in his voice filled your stomach with lead. He really was pouring his whole heart into this, wasn’t he? And what reason did you have not to believe him? Were you really going to throw away the best relationship you’d ever had just because of some gossipy girls in the bathroom of a bar?

“Okay,” you whispered.

“Okay?” he asked hopefully.

You swallowed heavily but nodded. “Okay, I believe you. I really want to believe you. So I’m going to try not to let my insecurity get the better of me,” you said, trying to sound as confident as you could.

The sheer relief on Jamie’s face made your heart beat a little faster. He leant his forehead against yours briefly, just long enough to inhale slowly, before he leant back, smiling the biggest smile you’ve ever seen, to which you could do nothing but smile back at him.

“I’m going to prove to you how much you mean to me,” Jamie said firmly.

“Jamie, no, I don’t need-”

“But maybe I do. Need to prove it, that is,” he interrupted, eyes wide but serious, “Maybe I need to do this for me,”

You bit your bottom lip but nodded. If that’s what he needs?

“Just don’t go crazy?” you winced.

Jamie laughed softly, but shook his head. “I won’t, I promise,”

Well that was something at least. He moved to sit next to you on the bed, hand lacing with yours again.

“Do you want to nap? Even just for another hour or so?” he said softly.

“Oh god, more than anything,” you groaned, nodding.

Jamie laughed, that beautiful smile back on his face, as he reached one arm back to tug his tshirt over his head. He stood up, pausing briefly, before he shoved his sweatpants to the ground, revealing himself to be wearing no underwear at all. He sat back down, eyes hesitant, cock soft against his thigh, completely bare and vulnerable to you, before he reached for your dressing gown sash. You stayed silent as he tugged it open, only moving to help him slip it off your body, leaving you just as bare as him. He smiled at you, ducking his head to give you the gentlest of kisses, before guiding the two of you under the covers.

“You’re everything to me, baby,” he murmured, hand rising to cup your face.

Your heart swelled with warmth and your eyes filled with tears, making Jamie frown until you captured his lips with a kiss, trying to pour your emotions into the embrace as your hands clutched at his shoulders.

“Hey, hey, ssh, it’s okay. We’re okay,” he mumbled between kisses.

You pulled away from him, inhaling shakily as you nodded.

“Hold me while we sleep?” you asked hopefully.

“Of course,” he said softly, smiling sweetly.

That smile was all you needed to reassure you as you turned over, letting him press his chest to your back and wrap his arms around you from behind. As you closed your eyes and relaxed, you felt him press soft absent-minded kisses to your neck, drifting off in the warmth of his hold.

Jamie sighed at the number of cars already at the training rink as he parked his car. He knew that his heavier-than-usual drinking at Kivi’s birthday two nights ago had raised some eyebrows, especially from the teammates who’d seen you leave early. Of course he was happier knowing that things were okay between the two of you again, but he didn’t relish the thought of explaining to anyone why you’d left, but if he knew his team (and he did, too well)

How people could be so cruel was beyond him.

He avoided meeting anyone’s eyes as he walked through the corridor maze to the locker room, just nodding at the few people getting changed when he dropped his bag on the floor. He could hear more people entering the room from wherever they’d been in the rink before he got there, but it wasn’t until Jamie was about to put his skates on that he heard someone clearing their throat next to him.

“Hey Riggy, got a minute?”

Jamie looked up at the sound of Tyler’s voice, raising an eyebrow as he noticed his Captain watching, along with Bish, Dickie and Pavs. Great.

“Sure,” Jamie said simply.

Tyler beamed at him and started walking out of the room, making Jamie sigh as he followed him into an empty trainer’s room. As soon as the door was closed, Jamie folded his arms over his chest, staring his teammate down.

“Is this an ordered interrogation?” Jamie asked bluntly.

Tyler just grinned, unperturbed. “Well it was either me by myself or a group intervention,” he shrugged.

Oof, no thank you. That would’ve been all kinds of awkward. Tyler laughed at the grimace on Jamie’s face, nudging Jamie with his shoulder until Jamie unfolded his arms. Tyler jerked his chin at a chair, indicating wordlessly for Jamie to sit down, so he did so, Tyler following his lead and sitting down too.

“You know we care about you,” Tyler started.

“Aww jeez Seggy,” Jamie groaned, interrupting.

Tyler just laughed, kicking out a foot at Jamie, toes lightly tapping his shin.

“I’m serious, man! You’re not normally a heavy drinker like that and we’re worried. I mean, I know that it had something to do with you and your girl, but she said she didn’t want to talk about it while I waited for her uber with her,”

“Thank you for making sure she was okay, by the way,” Jamie said, swallowing heavily.

Because he sure as hell hadn’t been able to himself.

“Yeah of course, Riggy. I care about her too, she’s a good person,” Tyler shrugged, smiling.

Jamie smiled back, appreciating Tyler’s candid caring nature even more.

“Are the two of you okay?” Tyler asked softly.

Jamie nodded, although he felt his smile dimming a little at the memory of how emotional yesterday had been.

“We spent yesterday talking, on and off. I went over really early in the morning to confront her. Not in an aggressive way, but like, to make sure she was okay and to ask her what happened? Well, she essentially had a breakdown and eventually told me why she left, and after we napped for a few hours, we just spent the day watching mindless tv in between talking more,” Jamie explained.

Tyler let out a sigh of relief, nodding, making Jamie smile slightly. The fact that his teammate cared so much about his relationship meant so much, especially with how close Tyler had grown with you in only a few months. To have that kind of support was so important to him – the team was like a second family, so it meant a lot to Jamie that they’d welcomed you with open arms.

“What happened? If you don’t mind me asking,” Tyler asked.

Jamie sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.

He never commits.

She’ll be out soon.

She’s nothing special.

That isn’t going to change.

“She was in the bathroom and overheard some puck bunnies talking about how I never commit to a relationship and how she was nothing special so I’d be ending our relationship soon enough. How I would never change,” Jamie muttered.

Tyler groaned, wincing. “Shit, I can see why she was so upset,”

Jamie just nodded, frowning. “I understand why she left, really I do. But I just don’t know what I can do to help her. People are always going to talk, that’s a downside of a relationship like this. But I just…I like her so much. And I hate that she felt so insecure yesterday, especially since I think she’s incredible,”

“Look…I haven’t known her long, and especially not like you do, but what I do know, I get it. I can see why she would be anxious,” Tyler admitted.

“Why? How?” Jamie frowned.

How could you not see how amazing he thought you were?

“It may be a couple of months down the line for the two of you, but it’s still new too. New enough. And you did play around a little – not that there’s anything wrong with that, you were always clear in letting those girls know you didn’t want anything serious. Just like you’ve been clear with her how much she means to you. This is the first time she’s had something so direct in person. It’s just…cut her a little slack,” Tyler reminded him.

Jamie felt his heart sink but nodded. Tyler was right. Of course he was right. Just because it felt like it had been years already…it was still new. Wonderful and incredible and heartstopping, but new.

“I know, of course I will. I told her I’m going to prove to her how much she means to me, but I just don’t know how,” Jamie said seriously.

Tyler laughed, shaking his head. “You and your love language man,”

Jamie blushed but shrugged. He wasn’t ashamed of how much he enjoyed being able to buy gifts to show his affection – because it wasn’t just empty gestures. Whenever he bought something, it was out of love, and every little gift meant something to him.

“All I can say is combine what you love with what she loves. Can’t hurt to have a balance,” Tyler said, shrugging.

Then he laughed at the exasperated look on Jamie’s face.

“Don’t make things complicated. Stick with the classics, Riggy. You can’t go wrong with the classics,” Tyler grinned.

“Yeah, alright you make a good point,” Jamie conceded, nodding.

A fancy dinner? A fancy dinner in a fancy restaurant could work, right? Somewhere special, where he could show you how special you were…

“Alright I can see the cogs are turning. We’d better get back to practice though, before Cap comes after us himself,” Tyler mused.

Jamie grimaced, making Tyler cackle as he stood up. He accepted the wordless hug from Tyler without hesitation though, thumping him once on the back before the two of them left the room. He could only hope to get through practice smoothly – he had plans to sweep you off your feet to make.

From: Tyler

So I heard from a little birdie that Riggy is taking you out to The French Room tonight?

The French Room. Hah. When Jamie had told you he had reservations three days after your long heart to heart, your jaw had dropped. One of the top rated dining places in Downtown Dallas?! And he had reservations?! You were so glad he’d given you forewarning though, because it meant you were able to dress up to match the venue. This wasn’t just something you could guess for.

Because somewhere this opulent needed something a little fancier than usual.

Luckily, a couple of weeks back after that first game you attended as Jamie’s girlfriend, some of the spouses and partners had taken you out for a girls’ afternoon, a boozy lunch with shopping afterwards, and they’d convinced you to buy a gorgeous pale blue long-sleeved knee-length lace dress, much fancier than you would usually buy, just in case. Just in case was the occasion tonight.

Jamie’s jaw had even dropped when he picked you up, eyes roving over your body, so you’d take it as a win.

Walking into the restaurant had your heart beating so fast – even the ceilings, arched and grand as they were, took your breath away. Jamie just watched you with a smile, hand gentle on your back as the two of you were guided to your secluded table. Jamie gave the waiter your wine order before you’d even sat down, making you laugh softly at the pleased look on his face.

“Someone’s prepared,” you teased.

“Someone’s worth preparing for,” he shot back, winking.

Your cheeks flushed with heat, only making Jamie smile wider.

“You’re so beautiful,” Jamie murmured, eyes staring straight into your soul.

“Jamie!” you giggled, one hand covering your face in embarrassment.

He laughed, reaching over the table to tug your hand away from your face, linking your fingers with his as he rested your joined hands on the table.

“I mean it. Everyone’s jealous that I’m with the most beautiful woman in the room,” Jamie said simply.

“Oh you smooth talker,” you mused, cheeks still warm.

“I’m going to keep saying it until you believe me,” he shrugged, laughter in his eyes.

“Your wine?”

Saved by the bell. Or well, the waiter.

“A toast?” Jamie said, picking up his glass when the waiter had left you once more.

“Toast to what?” you asked, smiling as you picked up your wine glass too.

“A toast to us,” he said smoothly, “a toast to us and all there is to come,”

You bit your bottom lip to stop the stupid grin threatening to spread across your face, but could do nothing about the butterflies that filled your stomach. The warmth in his eyes as your glasses clinked together made your heartbeat pick up as always, and then there was that beautiful genuine smile…how could you have any chance of surviving that? This was everything you needed after that awful evening – just you and him and a special evening together. What more could you ask for?

Then his smile faded into the most serious expression you’d ever seen him wear, and you swallowed heavily, heart beating fast for all different reasons now.

“I know you have your reservations, your insecurities about us, especially after the other night. All I can do is try to remind you just how much I adore you, how important you are to me. I know you don’t need fancy gifts or extravagant dinners all the time, but tonight…tonight feels special to me,” Jamie said.

“It feels special to me too, Jamie,” you replied, a little hesitant, “But…”

“No buts. Unless it’s your butt,” Jamie mused.

You couldn’t help but laugh softly at his cheesy words, the nervous tension breaking a little, although you still felt a little trepidation as Jamie’s tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip. He only did that when he was nervous…

What did he have to be nervous about?

It was when he pulled a red box out of his pocket and passed it across the table to you that you got your answer.

Cartier. Holy shit.

“Jamie…”

You trailed off helplessly, only able to stare at the box in shock.

“Please, will you open it?” Jamie asked softly.

You bit your bottom lip but nodded, opening the lid with a shaky hand.

Inside was a delicate chain bracelet connecting to three overlapping rings, each a different colour of gold – rose gold, yellow gold and white gold. It was beautiful. The most beautiful thing anyone had ever given you. And Jamie had given it to you?

He cleared his throat, making you look back up at him.

“It’s called the sweet trinity. There was a whole blurb about it online, but, uh, from what I remember, the pink stands for love, yellow for fidelity and white for friendship. When I saw that, it makes so much sense to me - they are intertwined because you can’t have one without the other. Which is exactly how I feel about you,”

Your breath caught in your throat, your eyes pricking with tears and your mouth going dry. Holy shit. Holy shit.

Jamie saw the overwhelmed expression on your face and leaned forward, hand reaching out to hold yours, bringing your attention back to him.

“I saw the bracelet before the…event the other night. You can ask Tyler, I was with him. He teased me about being head over heels for you already. When I walked past that same Cartier store again today, I just followed my gut and went inside again – and there it was, still sitting on the cushion on display. It felt like fate,” Jamie said softly.

You inhaled sharply, looking down at the beautiful piece of jewellery again. Never had anyone bought you anything like this, never. And you didn’t want to know how much it cost – you could only imagine. For him to buy you something like this?

“I don’t know what to say,” you murmured, looking back up at him with wide eyes.

“Say you’ll wear it?” Jamie asked hopefully.

You laughed a little helplessly, cutting yourself off by biting your bottom lip. How could you ever turn down something that beautiful, when Jamie had thought about it just for you? When he’d gone back, followed his instincts, and still come to the same conclusion?

“Yeah, of course I will,” you nodded, smiling widely.

The answering smile that Jamie gave you filled your stomach with butterflies.

“Now?” he asked.

You just squeezed the hand that he was already holding, smile going a little shy as you flipped it over. “Will you help me put it on?”

Jamie inhaled sharply at the thin delicate skin of your wrist but nodded. “Yeah, yeah, if you want me to,”

You watched intently as he carefully took the bracelet out of the box, and your cheeks warmed at how gently he moved your wrist with his large hands, turning it just so to get the clasp done up properly. As the cool metal hit your skin, Jamie’s eyes widened, shifting a little darker as his tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip. Interesting.

“That looks amazing on you,” he murmured.

Huh. He really does like it.

You gently trailed a finger over the delicate chain, over the thin skin of your wrist, and Jamie inhaled sharply, making you grin. Maybe Tyler wasn’t wrong about this love language thing after all. Maybe it was exactly what Jamie needed.

“Maybe we should look at the menu?” you suggested, tilting your head slightly.

Jamie narrowed his eyes slightly at the teasing lilt in your voice, but smiled slowly, knowing that the obvious desire in his eyes made you squirm in the best way.

“Yes, good idea. The night has only just began after all,” Jamie smirked.

Well now there was a thought.

You woke up in Jamie’s bed the next morning with an ache between your thighs, early morning light peeking through the curtains, lengthening your body out in a luxurious stretch. Jamie was completely knocked out still beside you, and you couldn’t help but bury your face in your pillow to muffle your happy squeal. Last night had been amazing – not just because of the incredible gift Jamie had given you, but because of the feelings behind it. Jamie had shown his heart to you, and you had accepted it entirely. Anxiety and insecurity would never fully go away, but he had more than proven to you that he was committed to your relationship.

How could you be happier? Not only that but the food had been outstanding – Jamie’s eyes constantly flicking down to the jewellery on your wrist - and when the two of you had eventually returned back to Jamie’s home, well…he’d brought you to new heights over and over again, until you’d both collapsed in a blissful heap.

Things could only go up from here, right?

It was when you reached for your phone on the bedside table that you spotted the bracelet in its box again. Biting your lip, you snapped a quick picture and send it to Tyler, the previous night’s conversation above it.

From: Tyler

Whew that is a pretty little gift there.

I can’t believe he went back and bought it.

To: Tyler

Yeah he said that he’d seen it with you and you’d teased him about it.

Not that you had doubted Jamie at all, but it made your stomach fill with butterflies to see Tyler confirm his story without you even asking. Jamie was a man of his word – you could appreciate that.

Again, within seconds, Tyler responded.

From: Tyler

When do I not tease him?

The man is nuts about you, you know that.

His words put a smile on your face, and you glanced over your shoulder to the sleeping man in question beside you.

To: Tyler

Yeah I do know. I’m a lucky girl.

From: Tyler

Just as much as he is a lucky guy.

You snorted, shaking your head. Ridiculous man.

“What’s so funny?”

You jumped slightly at the rumbling voice beside you and put your phone down before rolling over to face your boyfriend.

“Oh nothing, it’s just Tyler,” you shrugged, propping your head up with your hand.

Jamie rolled his eyes fondly. “It is far too early for you to be texting Seggy when you should be snuggling up with me,”

“Oh should I?” you mused.

Jamie growled playfully, scooping his arms around you to tug you towards him, making you shriek and burst out laughing.

“You’re such a caveman,” you giggled, batting at his chest but making exactly zero moves to escape from his hold.

“If you’re naked in my bed, you shouldn’t be thinking of another man,” Jamie pouted.

And as much as you could tell he was joking, there was also a thread of vulnerability in his voice that made you pause for a moment, before smiling softly.

“For one, Tyler doesn’t know that I’m naked in your bed. I mean, I’m sure he can guess, but he doesn’t know. And two, I sent him a photo of the bracelet because we were talking about the date yesterday, and I wanted to tell him how wonderful you are,” you said simply.

Jamie bit his bottom lip, but he was unable to hide the grin that spread across his face. He pulled you even closer together, bare bodies fully pressed up against each other now, allowing you to thread your leg between his thick thighs where you were lying on your side facing him. It was…intimate without being intimate. It was perfect.

“Tell him how wonderful I am, hmm?” Jamie murmured, hand sliding around your waist.

You gasped softly as that large hand settled lightly on your ass, but you grinned.

“Mmhmm, and how lucky I am,”

“I’m the lucky one,” Jamie grinned back.

“That’s what Tyler said,” you nodded.

“Enough talking about Tyler,” Jamie grumbled, squeezing your ass firmly.

A desperate noise escaped your throat, a wave of heat rushing through your body at the claiming action, Jamie’s eyes going dark.

“Don’t stop,” you said, a little breathlessly.

Jamie groaned as if he couldn’t help himself, before he captured your mouth in a kiss.

The buzzer sounded and that was it.

That was the end of the Stars season.

Your heart felt like it was cracking, breaking right in two. Jamie had fought so hard throughout the months of the playoffs, given his blood, sweat, & tears in his desperation to win the cup. Hell, the whole team had. Another year, another chance slipping through their fingers. You couldn’t help but shed tears alongside the other spouses and partners and families in the box, all of you knowing how much this had meant to the men in your lives.

But now it was over, and you had to be there to help them pick up the pieces, to recover, and to come back even stronger. Like there was anywhere else you’d rather be.

The wait for Jamie to be able to leave was excruciating. All you wanted to do was to hold him in your arms, but he (and the rest of the team) had to go through media questions as well as their own team debrief, and by the time Jamie eventually appeared he looked exhausted.

Like, drained to the bone exhausted.

Without a word, Jamie passed you his car keys, linking your hands together as you left the arena. Jamie stayed silent the whole way home, during the drive and even after you’d walked in his front door, to the point where you couldn’t hide your worry on your face. What could you do here? How could you help him?

Jamie saw the concern on your face and just pressed a kiss to your forehead, before tugging you gently up the stairs to his bedroom. Silence. All silence. Deafening all-consuming silence that you had no idea what to do with but it was clear that this was all that your boyfriend could handle right now. So you would roll with it, give him what he needed, just be there for him. That part was easy at least.

He stayed silent as he stripped out of his clothes, staying in his underwear, so you followed his lead, thankful for the grateful smile he sent you. It was definitely a new feeling trying to read someone without any verbal prompts, but just the fact that you could tell what Jamie needed after only 6 months without him telling you felt good, like you were doing the right thing.

Jamie guided you into bed with him, waiting until you were settled on your back before he rolled mostly on top of you and buried his face into your neck.

Oh.

Oh Jamie.

You slid your arms around him, one hand rising to play with his messy curls, and you felt him let out a shaky breath, bringing tears to your eyes. This strong wonderful man was barely clinging to his composure and he trusted you to see him so vulnerable? That broke your heart all over again.

Time passed slowly, like wading through molasses, filled only with your fingers stroking Jamie’s curls and his shaky breathing, everything fading out until your world consisted of only the two of you. He needed you. He needed you. He needed you. And there was nowhere you would rather be.

Eventually, Jamie pressed a kiss to your neck, and lifted his head up to look at you.

“Thank you,” he murmured.

“What for?” you mused, cupping his bearded face with one hand.

“For being you. For supporting me. For making this suck less. Take your pick,” Jamie shrugged.

You laughed softly but curled your head down slightly to kiss him, just a soft slow kiss, before pulling away again. He still looked tired. Just so done with everything. And if you could help with that, even a little bit, then of course you were going to.

“I’m here for you, whatever you need,” was all you said.

“Hold me a little bit longer?” he asked hopefully.

As if you were going to say no to that. Instead of answering, you just pressed his head back down into your neck, earning a huffed laugh against your skin as well as a gentle kiss to the sensitive skin. You could feel his body relaxing finally, melting into yours, and you let your body do the same, the emotions of the day finally catching up with you. Just as you were starting to drift off, you felt Jamie kiss your neck again.

“I don’t really know what tomorrow is going to be like. Probably awful. But I’m glad I get to do it with you by my side,”

This man. This big beautiful tender-hearted man. How did he not realise how devastating he was to your heart?

“I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to be right here with you, as long as you want me,” you said softly, willing your voice not to crack.

Jamie hummed softly, pressing another kiss to your neck, before he buried his face back down. You cradled his head with your hand, squeezing the arm you had around his waist that little bit tighter. If he needed you to shield him from the world, to protect his head and his heart, then you absolutely would. He had always been there as a rock when you needed him, and there was nothing that could stop you from being the rock he needed in return now.

You didn’t know what this summer would bring, but you knew you would be right there by his side. The two of you had found each other out of nowhere, and there was no way you were losing him now. Jamie had your heart, just like you had his, and you couldn’t imagine your future without him. It had been a beautiful 6 months together – bring on tomorrow, and every day after that.

#my writing #jamie oleksiak #all the super sweetness that I love #i want all of this so bad - where can I find a guy like this?#i love this gentle giant #jamie oleksiak fic #jamie oleksiak imagine #jamie oleksiak fanfic #big rig fic #hockey writing #hockey fic #hockey fanfic #nhl writing #nhl fic #nhl fanfic

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