#its also a reference to the name i went by in hs

[thoughtfulfoxllama]

Names of Gods

In the Temple Liturgy, we see the Creation of the Earth by Three Deities: Elohim, Jehovah, and Michael. The Temple Endowment is one of the most sacred, symbolic experiences in the spiritual life of Latter-day Saints, but it is ill understood by many (because of its highly symbolic nature)

One of the issues of debate however, is the identities of the beings discussed in the Temple Liturgy. Usage of the names has been hotly debated since the introduction of the Nauvoo Endowment (the Endowment Proper, to separate from the Kirkland Endowment, known as the Initiatory in the Modern Church)

In this essay, I will explain the various views held throughout Church History. Although the Culterite Branche also practices the Nauvoo Endowment, we have no information on their ritual, so we will focus solely on the Brighamite Branches

Points of View discussed

MC- Modern Church. This holds that Elohim in God the Father (or our Heavenly Parents), Jehovah is the Premortal Christ, and Michael is Adam

BY- Brigham is infamous for his "Adam-God Doctrine," where Adam is God the Father, Jehovah is his God, and Elohim is Jehovah's God. He did also advance other views however (such as Elohim being the Father, Jehovah being the Premortal Christ, and Michael being the Holy Ghost)

Sym- Symbolic Interpretation. This was developed by Max Skousen in his infamous "Temple Book," and was further added on by later individuals. It holds that Elohim is our Divine Intelligence (which is a part of God), Jehovah is our Self, and Michael is our Physical Body. He believed that the Endowment was teaching us that we need to have everything in it's proper place. The Self listens to the Divine, and the Self has control over the Body. The Body don't control the Self, and the Self doesn't control the Divine

HS- I call this the "Holy Spirit Theory." It is based off of some interesting wording in the 5th Lecture on Faith. It says that the Holy Spirit is the shared mind of God the Father & Christ. However, in D&C 130, it says the "Holy Ghost [...] is a personage of Spirit. This believes that all gods have a shared mind, known as the Holy Spirit (BH Roberts also connects this shared mind to the Light of Christ). Elohim is the Light of Christ, Jehovah is the entire Godhead, and Michael is all of humanity

T- Title Theory. This is the theory that the Names of God are not names at all, but merely titles. For example, if God has "names" like, "Endless," "Eternal" (Meos in Adamic), and "Man of Holiness" ("Ahman" in Adamic), how can we trust any of his names. While often used to try to justify Adam-God, it is it's own separate thing

CRT- "Creator, Redeemed, Testator." Joseph Smith said that before Creation, Covenant was made between 3 Archetypical Beings, the Creator, the Redeemer, and the Testator. The idea is that each of the beings in the Temple is one of these beings

Elohim

In his Sermon in the Grove (Joseph's last sermon), he stated that Elohim was always plural. He then went on to give a radical retranslation of Genesis 1:1. Instead of "In the Beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth," he said that it meant roughly "The Head organized the Gods, and all things" (my own translation, but faithful to Joseph's words). While the King Follet Discourse revealed man's potential, the Sermon in the Grove populated the Eternities with, in the words of Paul "gods many and lords many."

MC- The belief that Elohim is God the Father is unsustainable, given Joseph's statement that Elohim is always plural. This doesn't mean the Modern Church is wrong though, but rather that we don't look at Elohim with a full understanding of Godhood. Godhood is Couplehood (or Throuplehood, or Quadruplehood, and so on). So, Elohim may refer specifically, not to Heavenly Father, but Heavenly Parents. After all, Modern Prophets have stated that Heavenly Mother(s) are deeply involved in our lives. Why wouldn't HM be there, alongside HF. He wouldn't be God without her, so Elohim still fits

BY- Admittedly, Adam-God is a huge cluster-screw. We know nothing from Brigham about the identity of Elohim from his own words. We have Joseph F Smith quoting an earlier source saying the Creation Trinity were "Grandfather, Father, and Son." He did state Jehovah was Michael's father, so maybe this is where that came from. But this is only 1 of the many inconstancies with Adam-God. For his views on it being "Father, Son, Spirit," see the MC explaination

Sym- Skousen has some interesting ideas. The idea that Elohim is in essence the root of being is an intriguing idea, and it allows Elohim to be plural. If one wanted to go further, the Lecture also says the Father is a Personage of Spirit, while the Son is a personage of Tabernacle. This has been connected by the Fundamentalists as the Liquid in their Veins (Blood or... It's never explained, but Spirit is the best word they can come up with). However, the idea that God the Father is this Divine Intelligence doesn't line up with D&C 130 (which states the Father was a body of Flesh & Bone), or with the First Vision. Unless, Elohim is what we are all called when we're Exalted (which connects to the Degrees of Glory. Celestial listen to the Intelligence, Terrestrial listen to Themselves, Telestial listen to their Senses)

HS- The Light of Christ makes an odd amount of sense here actually. In the Liturgy, Elohim commands the Creation, while Jehovah & Michael are the primary actors. The Light of Christ gives us (among other things) our Conscience. When were about to do something bad, we can get this feeling that we shouldn't. Maybe the Light of Christ also inspires that feeling in the gods. As this light is "in all things," it knows the proper timing, the proper order, everything like that. It also makes sense in the order as a whole, because the Earth was created spiritually, then physically. Jehovah (the gods) tells Michael (the Spirits), what needs to happen, then Michael reports when it's done. Maybe Michael needed to do their part, so Jehovah could do theirs

T- In the Title Theory, Elohim (more accurately, El) is the "Reshit," the Head of the Gods, speaking for the entire Divine Council. El (with his authority as essentially an EQ President) commands Jehovah & Michael to create the Earth, and commands Michael to people it.

CRT- Elohim (El) is the Great Organizer. He organized the Gods, and Organized the Creation (although he didn't actually participate, he did organize the work that needed to be done)

Jehovah

The name with the most debate, even before we get the Restoration. Jehovah (originally YHVH, but I'll just use Jehovah) was originally seen as a Storm God & a War God. Even by the time we get to Lehi's Departure, Jehovah was not a sole divinity. He was connected most notably with Asherah (Goddess of War, the Seas, Trees, and Motherhood) & El (the Head of the Gods)

By the Second Temple Period, Jehovah was stripped of equals. It also became prohibited to speak his name in public. This means, with the fall of the Jerusalem Temple (one of, if not the only place the Name could be spoken), the pronunciation was lost

In the Restoration, the use of Jehovah became... Chaotic to say the least. Joseph Smith used Jehovah to mean the Father in D&C 109, while in 110, Christ speaks with "the sound of rushing great waters, even the voice of Jehovah" (D&C 110:3). Brigham used Divine Names interchangeably, even saying "Elohim-Jehovah" as one name on more than one occasion. This naturally causes so much debate that Wilford Woodruff has to tell people to stop fighting about it. But, it went on. Jesus & Jehovah continued to be separated individuals in the Endowment, Joseph F Smith said Jehovah was Heavenly Father, and eventually, James Talmage wrote that Christ was Jehovah (an idea first officially pushed in the 1916 talk "The Father & the Son," and reiterated in "The Living Christ," on January 1st, 2000)

MC- Jehovah is Jesus Christ. "Before Abraham was, I am." This is the phrase Talmage used to prove his point. He also pointed out that Christ said in the Book of Mormon it was him who gave the Law on Sinai, and Jehovah was the Lawgiver

BY- Jehovah is God's God. He was well aquatinted with Adam's Children (possibly even being the god they worshipped, instead of Adam. This connects to the teachings of Fred Collier, who believed that Adam had 72 Sons, who were the gods of the 72 Nations). That's all Brigham had to say, aside from throwing out names like "Elohim-Jehovah" when referring to Michael (which makes no sense Brigham! No wonder people struggled to believe Adam-God, because it makes no sense, and you constantly contradict yourself!!!)

Sym- Jehovah is who we are, our Ego. It is meant as a go-between for the Divine Intelligence, and the Physical Body. This is similar to Christ, who came to mediate between Human & Divine

HS- This is based on the letters of the Name. According to David Ferriman (founder of the Fellowship of Christ, which is a Non-denominational Mormon Church), the Yod & the First Hei are our Heavenly Parents, while the Vav & the Second Hei are Christ & the Holy Ghost. While Ferriman (most likely, based on his other writings) doesn't believe in the Holy Spirit Theory, this interpretation of the name Jehovah is common for people who do

T- Jehovah is the God of a World. Before the Resurrection, Heavenly Father was Jehovah. When Christ said he gave the Law on Sinai, he did, and he was speaking on behalf of his Father. However, after the Resurrection, Christ became Jehovah, the God over this World

CRT- Jehovah is Christ. I've already said that above

Michael

In the Endowment Liturgy, Michael is Adam. There are literally millennia of people associating Adam with all of Mankind. This is especially meaningful when we are told to associate ourselves with Adam in the Temple

MC- There's not much to say. Adam is the First Man (possibly the Physical Son of Heavenly Parents, born Immortal, and needing to eat the fruit to become Mortal). He was the Archangel Michael (the only Archangel?), forgot that when he was created, and became an Archangel after death. He may have visited Christ during the Suffering in Gethsemane. Maybe he's resurrected, maybe not

BY- This one, more than any others, provides a huge discrepancy between the two views extended by Brigham (in the same flipping sermon!!!). Either Michael is "Our Father & Our God" or he his the Holy Ghost

There is a possibility he is both, as he is the Father of Humanity, our God (the Holy Ghost is a God), and "the Only God with whom we have to do" (because how many of us have seen Christ or the Father. Seriously, saying that part is even more confusing, considering we have 3 gods already!). This is not what Brigham had in mind however

If Michael is God, he is the Father of our Spirits (through Sexual Union), and then was sent to Earth by the Council, given Amnesia, tricked by Lucifer (who may also have a body, based on some interpretations of the Theory I've heard), and became the Father of Humanity. Eve is therefore Heavenly Mother (it appears we all share 1 Heavenly Mother. Each Wife gets a Planet, like they'd get their own house in Mortality)

Sym- Adam is the "Natural Man." Our physical desires, our fears and anger, all those things we associate as bad. However, we are not told to kill our passions, but to bridle them. No emotion is bad, but it needs to be under control (for example, libedo connects spouses, produces children, and gives pleasure. But, we are told to express it within strict bounds (marriage))

HS- Adam means "Man" (as in Mankind). We are told to associate ourselves with Adam in the Temple

T- Michael is the title of one who is called to begin life on a world. Likewise, Chavah (Eve) is the Name-Title of his help-meet (as Chavah means "Breath Giver," breath being representative of Life & the Spirit)

CRT- Michael is the Testator. However, we need to remember that we are told to associate ourselves with Adam in the Temple. Our first covenant (Baptism) include "standing as a witness of God." We are all Testators, we are all Michael

What do I think?

I think I need a break. The Hot Takes take a lot out of me, emotionally. Not just because I'm composing basically a full length essay, then vastly cutting it down (only keeping in about 1/50th of the Adam-God rants) in a couple hours, but because I'm worried about going too far

So, next week, it'll be something way more chill. Specifically, the Sabbath

[davekat-sucks]

I left and rejoined the fandom a few times because of strange fan behavior and the fact the story was just not fun anymore and it fizzled out. The last time I left the fandom was because everyone made John into June and I didn’t understand what made him seem like a girl. when I asked someone, in a genuine way, and not in a trolling way, that someone I asked told me “John’s always been feminine. He’s super compassionate!” I was so angry at that. I remember that was the only time I was fuming over the fandom. That’s when it hit me. Being a girl to these people is being nice and compassionate! It’s just personality traits! Being a girl is a look, a fashion trend, a lifestyle to adopt! I starting to think that being transgender might just be a big joke to these people. That or I was being trolled but I was on the Offical June Stans tumblr page (no I don’t remember what it was called)

I was fuming so much I was ready to be done with Homestuck entirely but then I saw how many people thought that John’s depression and suicidal out look on life was so trans! It made me even more angry! Being trans meant being suicidal and isolating yourself! Then they went off about how Reality Doesn’t Feel Real to John which is also super trans and not just the protagonist of the story noticing he lives in a story.

Dissociating from reality and being mentally ill was what they made being trans out to be.

It was a BIG slap to the face for me. A wake up call that all the support I was pouring, not into HS but into my ideology, was a lie. I realized I was contributing to hurting people. Hurting the people I thought I was helping at it hurt me so bad. I was angry at how the queer community was destroying its own members. I am so thankful for the Homestuck fandom though, why, because it showed me the depths of the lie I was brought up to believe. That kids who grew up online are just malleable tools that can be brought up to believe in anything. We could destroy peoples careers, we could harass content creators into saying “trans rights” all while ignoring that trans rights were giving puberty blockers to teenage girls. Fun fact… did you know that teenage girls need estrogen in their system to have their spine fuse together as they grow. Now we have paralyzed kids. Now we have a high fail rate of bottom surgeries.

If I’m not mistaken didn’t you just describe the plot of Y12000 not too long ago. That is what I mean. These people think that this is activism. This is something to be proud of. I hesitate to call anything evil but this is the closest thing to it I can think of. Getting children to believe that this is what progress is. Destroy peoples bodies and minds. The worst part is is that we can’t get these people to wake up and see what is going on around them. If i speak up, I am the one who is evil. I am the one who is trying to hurt people. If I could help, I would. The only thing I do now is try to talk about positive things because I know what it is like to be in the depths. But every so often I need to say this. I am so deeply saddened by the fact that fandom is a tool used to hurt us all. Activism is a wonderful thing but now it’s been taken over by a belief system that soon will crumble from all the medical scandals.

Now anyone reading this might think I am a transphobe. No. I think that transsexualism is a thing, but most everyone actually trans says transsexual when referring to themselves. These new trans people are just making stuff up like “egg” and “xir” and disrespecting real trans people. I follow someone named Dimitri Monroe. He is bullied constantly for being a feminine man but not being trans. They call him trans and want him to realize that he is an egg that needs to hatch. I don’t know if it is because they need him to fit in the perfect little box they made for all feminine men to be in or because they want to make him into a sex object. Some times people online view trans women as breeding stalk and it’s so sexist and demeaning.

Okay I wanted to add this to what I wrote up,

Now I see that people are making June “VirskaMaxxx” which I assume means roleplaying as a girl he likes. I saw someone say something on here about Virska wanting to be like Mindfang, I don’t understand how their minds work anymore and I don’t have the stomach for it anymore. All I see here is people who think trans people are just role playing women. Trans people are playing make believe. What is anyone supposed to think in response to this? Being trans was just a fad. Being trans is like being mentally ill?

And those who disagree that are part of a certain minority group, they are outed as things like traitors, apologists, or faking their sexuality/race. It's crazy people are using stuff like the word coon ironically at another black person that does not agree with the rest of the community. The With Us or Against Us mentality has taken it to the extreme. Some don't realize that what they are enforcing is toxic positivity. Even too much of a good thing can be just as harmful. They would also subconsciously act similar to ones they hate. Like they say they hate pedophiles, but then they tell minors that sex work is fine to do. People should also be aware of the effects or reasons why the world works as it is. Like consuming too much cholesterol can cause harm to the body both short and long term if not treated. Some really have started to think science is bogus if it goes against the feelings. It just reminds me of religious fucks who dismiss science and say God is the reason why x thing happens. But instead of God, it's the overconfidence that they they believe their own words is true and everyone else is against them. People are also really reaching for something to be like an allegory for it being about trans. It's like people who read a book, book describes about a curtain being blue, and someone thinks it is about depression, when it's not and just an obvious observation to give an idea of what someone has in a building. Interpretation can be fine, but sometimes the thing is what it is and doesn't have to be that deep.

[qzvk]

im ETERNAL SEPTEMBER posting because its grabbed my brain (read it and BDTH if you like homestuck)

the flash at the end of the first update, [S] Mary: Enter, uses Erik Scheele's Mother (which is a really lovely piece. i even went and re-learned it because of this). tonally, Mother works really well for the flash, but the name also makes me think of:

a creator, Mary being a technician for SKAIANET who's obviously contributing to the creation of the Sburb game beta

know a famous mother by the name mary??? you know i love a little bit of religious allegory

with the reference to ROGUE in her intro, i think its safe to say she's a rogue of space, which is fun.

also i think its pretty funny that piano is the first instrument we hear (in hs and this), AND that Mother originally could have been the ending piece for hs (but is the opening track here). the problem with stuff like this is that you can make connections forever and at random, but its nice to point out.

HOUGH. i haven't written a post like this in a very long time. very excited to see where this goes. also mary just like me fr fr (big fan of the wizard book)

[womanexile]

Sidenote: HS has a ring with a bird & eggs in the nest that made me think of Big Yellow Taxi. songfacts.com/facts/joni-mitchell/big-yellow-taxi

"The line, "Put away that DDT now, give me spots on my apples but leave me the birds and the bees" refers to the insecticide DDT, which was used on crops. The deleterious effects of the chemical were in the news, as Americans learned that their food was being contaminated by its use - those spotless apples looked great but held hidden dangers. Also, birds were eating the insects and fish poisoned by DDT, which caused them to lay brittle eggs and put many species in danger, including the bald eagle. In 1972, DDT was banned for most uses."

Big Yellow Taxi "And a big yellow taxi took my girl away" [Renegade "And then you squeeze my hand as I'm about to leave/Are you really gonna talk about timing in times like these?"[Ending relationship?] New Year's Day "You squeeze my hand three times in the back of the taxi"

New Year's Day "I can tell that it's gonna be a long road/I'll be there if you're the toast of the town, babe/Or if you strike out and you're crawling home"[HS solo work came out in '17] Cornelia Street "And baby, I get mystified by how this city screams your name"

Renegade "The shape of you was jagged and weak" Cruel Summer "Oh, it's new, the shape of your body" [Ed Sheeran Shape of You]

Cornelia Street "We were a fresh page on the desk/Filling in the blanks as we go/As if the street lights pointed in an arrowhead" [Lavender Haze "Get it off your chest/Get it off my desk"/Evermore "Trying to find the one where I went wrong/Writing letters/Addressed to the fire" The Archer- arrows]

Renegade "Open the blinds, let me see your face" [Eras visuals?]

I’m glad I’m not the only one who sees all these connections between them. I looked up goldfinch the other day cause that’s the bird Harry has on his ring. Their supposed to have the most beautiful song.

[blackadamschefter]

This is for me to more put my thoughts out.. because I have alot of takes but no point of “real” reference besides myself and I wanna take more account and see what the results were and all that good jazz... ok. 

So its been a smooth time since the pandemic and I’ve been waaaaay more interested in sport hierarchy and seeing what I like or don’t, thoughts I have that are “justified” or “wrong” and so on... I’ve got traits I find useful, non-useful and meh and this is more geared towards Kellen Moore. I

 like what I’ve seen from Kellen Moore the person/athlete, and his story with me traces waaaay back to late 2010 (back end of his sophomore year?) but specifically when Boise St. faced Georgia in the Georgia Dome in 2011 in the Chick-fil-A opener. That team was in the WAC with C. Petersen as their HC and had Doug Martin & K. Moore who were the big names and they outplayed UGA that night... shit was awful esp. the unis UGA had on too and essentially at home.. nasty work that weekend lol. But he was cuttin’ niggas uppppp called his ass the surgeon or someshit like that, but I’m sure he was up there as a Heisman hopeful (’10: Cam’s year and ‘11 was LaMichael James) and he was known as one of those really really smart guys. I remember the story they ran for him at the Heisman of how he collected playbooks... nigga playbooks fr from all over NFL & college ones but more importantly he had found Boise’s too.. anyway he had a leg up on niggas even though he got redshirted but that’s where I was aware of him. 

As a kid you think alot of niggas are gonna dominate in college then do the same in the league and you realize quickly that often times we are wrong as kids but fuck me if you look at Kiper and them others hit rate but I digress... Above the shoulders I was like he’s solid but physically he wasn’t it. But he went pro wasn’t drafted but had a lil time up there with the big boys I think he backed up Stafford because I think that was the same Lions team that had Stafford and Kris Durham [They were so good together at UGA.. “wow, they were special”]. Womp womp I only cared for the Lions because in fantasy I’d draft Megatron & Stafford shiiit Titus Young and Kris too if I’m not mistaken but I didn’t care about Moore.. 

Now, NFL Moore is where I go woooooah now. Its a much more succinct view of things. Its that to build something sustainable you need to have a plan of some sort and in sports esp. football you come from a tree of someone and I had to look this up just quick to see where he would of come from in a way.. Kellen Moore’s dad was a HS coach in Washington (state).

Kellen played at Boise State under Chris Petersen who coached under Jim Sochor (main connection) but was hired by Dan Hawkins (who also started his career with Sochor) at Boise to be the OC. In the Jim Sochor pool are coaches like: Dan Hawkins, Chris Petersen, Gary Patterson, and one Paul Hackett (dad to future NFL HC Nathaniel) but was from the Walsh school mainly. So when Moore joined the Cowboys in ‘18 as their QB coach then in ‘19 Garrett is fired and he’s promoted to OC.. just like that and that’s where I come to where I am today.

He was promoted by JJones as some tyoe of boy wonder who would galvanize a young core of Dak, Zeke, Amari as that offense was somewhat stagnate and time to move on from Garrett and he inherited 3 Pro Bowl OLmen. For a split second it.. did? buddy was aggressive and had a bunch of pre-snap motions (like those from a particular “tree” have a tendency of) then after the completion of the ‘21 season he got HC interviews and that’s good for him to understand what teams wanted and are looking for, but some of them niggas were fr and willing to hire him before he rejoined the Cowboys [add text screenshot here] and I get a similar feeling now with DQ after he’s backed out of HC opp. for whatever he says but that’s for a different 4:30am ramble lol, but I think he came back with the idea that he’d be there long enough for Mike McCarthy to be pushed out and he’d be the HC there in Dallas and now I think Quinn is in that seat but again I digress lol. 

He came back and to me its much of the same thing Dallas has always been.. beating who they’re supposed to and getting out-coached in must wins. When you hold the 49ers to 19 points as a defense... 23 the year before?  those are game you go and  win esp. with the talent. To me he didn’t have a philosophy that he could fall back on and on a consistent basis was outcoached. 

When I watch games as a nobody I’m about the end of the half, start of the half scoring and when the game is on the line I am counting plays... where I know its money time and we’re giving back the ball to ‘x’ team who won’t give us a chance to win. I think about how Kirby Smart’s timeout against Ohio St. being the real difference when the game was done. I have an issue with how Moore handles pressure, how he is a PLAYCALLER but struggles to manage the game as an offense. If you pay attention to Cleveland for as boo boo they have been one thing Stefanski is good at is his opening script lmao... they find points or move the ball on the opener then after than its shit but once shit isn’t perfect if that Moore has failed over and over. When people kept asking for my thoughts... I’m like buddy shouldn’t even be an OC fr. he needs to get back to the basics and find a coach where he’ll learn how to manage a game. 

I’m disgusted on how he’s been allowed to fail up to end up on the Chargers because WHAT. THE. FUCK lmaoo Broooooooo I’ve been off of Staley after year one. Now put them 2 in the same room that’s fucking disgusting. Staley is supposed to be a defensive wiz and Telesco has gone out and added defensive talent and them niggas have gotten worse but I’ll talk about him later too. What Moore lacks to me is a foundational understanding of what his job is and how to do it outside of calling plays. He never adjusts and struggles in managing the game and that’s not goooood. Good players can only mask whatever is wrong for only so long. I think I’ve said enough and will leave it there, but now *looks at the camera* its on the record. 

[yozzers]

Ok explaining my bruno/illiaster in the new future thoughts to the best of my ability bcs I feel like its nonsensical w out a visual timeline.

Im really interested in how life passes fr people like bruno and aporia who like have their actual faces shown on tv and such and seeing things like reruns of old races and being to point out "holy shit thats me" (the 3 nobles literally bring points in aporias life and bruno is antinomy min 19-20). Like “why does someone who looks exactly like me doing 200 yrs ago in these Incredibly well known events whaaat.”, also the idea of whether or not illiaster would cross paths in this new future without anapocalypse to bring them together.

This isnt really in an order, so god bless whoever reads this. Also this is all referencing to the new future yuseis battle w illiaster would create! (Referring to bruno as johnny for the majority of this as without illiaster he wouldnt have taken on the name antinomy etc)

-shout out to my favorite lofter fanfic, theyre thr only people who make johnny a duelist fanboy (if duelist fandom exist hed be what u call a yusei stan etc idfk these terms ♡) its rlly funny and it works

johnny misaki highschool friends via d wheel club or something, paradox is also there but hes like 2-3 yrs older so hes like That Older Friend You Go To Annoy

johnny misaki is like: guy who has too much to say & guy who never has anything to say; the appeal is fr me bcs i like frnds who have like their brains connected, johnny says stuff fr misaki etc etc

johnny and misaki form their d wheel team post hs w like one other guy idfk who or wtvr theyre mostly irrelevant but it was a frndgroup fr sure (all i can say is that theyre yellow to match w johnny and misakis respective blue and red, and that the d wheel is named beta kestrel-- name courtesy of a frnd)

my favorite hc rn is that Tech Genus was made st like the height of synchro summoning or smthing, so its made when Yusei was still alive like maybe 30s-40s, he requested to add a design in honor of bruno/antinomy --> TG star guardian

blah blah star guardian being a Yusei Certified Made Card johnny took inspo frm star guardians design to his d wheel outfit

- og illiaster timeline, i still think misaki was frnds w johnny but died during the meklord invasion. Idk how over the nexus works in tandem but smthing amthing testing out android bodies n such antinomy requested zone try and recreate something frn his memories: aka misaki, so i think her personality or body would seem more off etc (also shes not a subconcious implanted into a new body or smthing shes a total recreation of a person)

i personally really like heleenjte’s take on antinomy and paradox as cyborgs, to varying degrees of cybernetic uprades, and aporia being the only genuine android... so this idea is sort of nonsensical but view it as “one of illiasters many attempts and ideas that sort of went somewhere (with aporia) so woo? also lackey filler ig”

[qwertyfingers]

WOO CONGRATS ON THE TEET YEET!!! also also, your poetry is beautiful. can i ask how you got started?

thank u!!! apologies for how long this answer got i’m waffling

so i feel like the start of my answer is kind of unhelpful because i really just. started writing? no one encouraged me or helped me or anything i really just ran with it on my own. a lot of how i write is really just how i think - the metaphors and similes and weird comparisons come very naturally to me. i have no idea if this is how other writers feel?? but i can’t give any advice on how to develop that beyond just. writing a lot.

i’ve find poetry to be really good emotional outlet, so a lot of what i write about is very repetitive in terms of themes - a lot of mentions of my dad and my stepdad, compulsions, teeth and while i don’t think any of what i wrote back then was very good or worth sharing it did give me a lot of practice in kind of. building a writing headspace?

i can’t really point to any specific inspirations early on because i really didn’t read very much. most of my favourite poems when i was younger were very structured and used a lot of rhyme - i really enjoyed war poetry when we studied it in high school for example - but i’ve always written pretty loosely, a lot of enjambment and playing around with formatting. i felt very drawn to mary oliver and richard siken when i discovered them in my mid-late teens (although i defintiely think that i understand them better rereading them now as an adult). 

i’ve written many different styles of poem, but i really only have two style of writing behaviour: either i write total stream-of-consciousness and don’t edit it until i’ve totally run out of things to say - pompeii, reimagined from this collection was written this way, as was FOIL - or i write very conscious of the formatting from the start - some examples of this are unholied, ajovy and my father thinks i should learn how to code. sometimes there’s a crossover like in inelegant fingers but typically its one or the other.

the city i live in now has a pretty big ~poetry scene~ with several regular live readings, even more random events throughout the year, and people regularly coming from out of town to read here. i hiiiiighly recommend going to readings if you live somewhere that you can get to them because it can expose you to a really wide range of writers, from first-timers to people with long publishing histories. being involved in that scene really taught me that there’s really no hierarchy of talent, that there are fantastic writers at every ~skill level~. and more than anything, that it’s possible to hate a poem or poet and still get a lot out of their work. i’ve made a lot of friends through going to and helping to host events too :) 

some recommendations for writing that i personally find useful:

spend a lot of time thinking about writing! when i’m out walking, even when i’m getting groceries, i’m spinning thoughts around my head about writing. i frequently think up what i think of as the ‘headline’ of a poem when i’m busy doing something else. write that shit down! keep a notebook or note on your phone and write them down. 

relatedly: absolutely cannibalise your old poems. if you’ve got a piece you don’t like any more, or that you could never finish but you’re attached to it, steal your favourite lines and work them into soemthing else, or challenge yourself to rewrite that poem in a new style or format

i keep a word doc full of lines and phrases i liked that i couldn’t fit into anything or that weren’t developed enough that i go back to and take things from. sometimes it’s just a handful of words - ‘ transposing neuroses onto neurons’ sat in that doc for months before i used it - and sometimes its entire lines or even stanzas. i also paste in here things i deleted from existing pieces during editing - sometimes you like something but just not in its current setting yknow

give yourself writing challenges! there are allllll kinds of things you can challenge yourself to do. find a photograph you like, and try to write the feeling it gives you, or write about the content of it, or from the perspective of the person taking the picture. pick an album or song and listen to it on repeat and write. go to different places and see if your writing feels different there. write a poem first thing in the morning or on your lunch break or write before you go to bed. write when you feel really happy, or scared, or angry or tired. write about someone you love, or someone you really hate. write using found-language - blackout poetry is one version, but you can also cut words out and collage them. a friend of mine wrote an amazing poem using ads on gumtree. i like to hit random page on wikipedia and challenge myself to write using the words on that page or about the content of it. i dont find timed challenges helpful but some people do. experiment! ask your friends for prompts! if you’ve friends who also write poetry, give eachother challenges and give eachother feedback

also, if you’ve got friends who write, absolutely ask for their input on a piee if you get stuck. my friend tasha frequently helps me with my grammar and punctuation to improve clarity and many more people have helped me with ideas, promts, challenges and encouragement :)

my personal favourite: write about fiction! a lot of my favourite of my own poems were about this. ;kodos in error - which desperately needs reworking but that i’m nevertheless very proud of - was written about the tarsus iv storyline in the original star trek. the only overt reference to it’s origin is the name kodos in the title - and it’s very much about myself too - but ultimately the entire time i wrote it i was thinking about that plot. i’ve also written about fortnite and the expanse  

play around with what you want from a poem. sometimes it’s emotional, sometimes it’s all about the sound and the feel of it in your mouth, sometimes it’s about imagery and giving the reader a clear picture of something. Sometimes you want to do something fun with the formatting, or make it short and snappy or long and lilting. Try not to get stuck in one type of poem. 

personally unless i’m writing for a specific thing - like a reading of to submit to a specific journal - i never think about a reader until i’ve finished at least the first draft. i’m not a professional; i share the things i like but ultimately i write for myself only. i don’t need to have an audience in mind for anything i write, and i think that helps me. not everyone finds this easier, but i do.

read poetry! read absolutely anything you can get your hands on - even when you don’t like something you can learn from it. poetry foundations 

talk about poetry! i didn’t go to school for creative writing and most of what i learned in HS went totally over my head, but i find talking about poetry i like with friends to be infinitely valuable. discussion will help you find things you didn’t see before, and understand why the things you do like resonate so much, how you can maybe replicate those in your own writing etc.

if you’ve never written before, it is literally never too late to start. just get going! don’t let your inner critic get in the way, just write and write and try not to worry too much about whether its ~good~ until you get more used to writing.  there are a thousnad different ways for a poem to be Good. if you write for emotional release and it works then its good. if you write to get other people to understand how you feel and that comes through, its good. if you just want to make it sound a certain way then its good. 

<3

[oopssasha]

Dear Sasha,

I know you said you felt dumb for typing out all the plot bunny from that playlist. But you have to know that you made my days for weeks. Honestly, I wasn’t planning on luring you onto the shipping train. You got there all on your own without even realizing it and it’s both hilarious and so seriously incredibly adorably you. I have no clue how to put the amount of affection I have for you into letters.

I love how you couldn’t help yourself and had to ask how the Larry Stylinson thing came to be. Just remember this before you read any further: Curiosity killed the cat. I hope you subscribe to the idea that satisfaction brought it back, otherwise this is going to leave you dead. You asked about it the last time we talked. So here’s my thoughts on what could have happened if the hypothesis that HS and LT were/are in an actual relationship is true. Keep in mind that I have no clue what actually happened. I’m just a song nerd, investing way too much in musical inspirations.

First of all, let me just get this out of the way. I love Taylor Swift as an incredible songwriter that she is and she was the one who got me to notice 1D because she was dating Harry Styles that one time. Her song, ‘Style’ screamed PR stunt to me like nothing else. Actually, her whole 1989 album felt like a middle finger to incompetent PR managers everywhere. ‘Blank Space’ was the epitome of “I can manage my public persona better than you ever could.” ‘New Romantics’ was a love letter to fans filled with irony about high profile public life. How it sucks and makes everything possible at the same time.

Oh my god. I’m sorry I went off the rail. I just love her and her music. Please forgive my ramblings. Again.

Anyway, back to Larry Stylinson. Taylor mentioned how ‘Out of the Woods’ was inspired by a relationship she was in. And the biggest feeling in that whole relationship was anxiety. Funnily enough, ‘Out of the Woods’ makes the most sense to me if Taylor was in a PR relationship with HS, being fully aware that HS and LT were together, and wrote the whole song from imagining LT’s perspective. Taylor put herself in somebody else’s shoes in a song all the time. The most sincerely heartbreaking one to date for me is ‘Ronan’ and I cannot tell you how hard I cried for that song. ‘You were my best four years,’ got me bawling my eyes out. Every. Single. Time.

Here’s my line by line lyrics interpretation for ‘Out of the Woods’ on the assumption that Taylor wrote it from LT’s perspective.

>Looking at it now, it all seems so simple.

[HS was in a PR relationship to stop the gay rumors and hype up 1D world tour. Taylor was in it to turn her image into ‘good girl gone bad’ without having to go full on Miley Cyrus’s ‘Wrecking Ball’ and hype up her own world tour. It was a mutually beneficial arrangement. Simple but effective.]

>We were lying on your couch. I remember.

[LT once said, ‘Nobody knows where we live’ but the public narrative at the time said HS and LT no longer lived together. Hence, your couch, not ours.]

>You took a Polaroid of us, then discovered the rest of the world was black and white.

[Introducing artsy black and white Polaroid aesthetic to set the stage.]

>But we were in screaming color

[Obvious rainbow reference became painfully obvious.]

>And I remember thinking…

[The following repetitive chorus is so claustrophobic. It plays out as if it was a constant cloud hanging over LT’s head at all times. Like, will people leave us alone now that they no longer think we’re together? Are highly publicized heterosexual relationships enough to keep the scrutiny away? Can we just be together since we’re sworn to the secrecy now? We’re okay, right? We have to be. But are we really?]

>>>

Are we out of the woods yet?

Are we out of the woods yet?

Are we out of the woods yet?

Are we out of the woods?

Are we in the clear yet?

Are we in the clear yet?

Are we in the clear yet?

In the clear yet? Good

Are we out of the woods yet?

Are we out of the woods yet?

Are we out of the woods yet?

Are we out of the woods?

Are we in the clear yet?

Are we in the clear yet?

Are we in the clear yet?

In the clear yet? Good

Are we out of the woods?

>>>

>Looking at it now, last December we were built to fall apart then fall back together.

[Seeing each other in a PR relationship with someone else hurt further than just simple jealousy. It’s also a reminder that their relationship is not meant to exist, let alone to last.]

>>>

Your necklace hanging from my neck

The night we couldn't quite forget

When we decided (we decided)

To move the furniture so we could dance

Baby, like we stood a chance

Two paper airplanes flying, flying, flying

>>>

[This is where either my imagination ran away with me or Taylor is an actual Queen of Reference. I think it make sense that two paper airplanes here are a combination of a retrospective reference to HS’s necklace and an acknowledgment of LT’s paper airplane tattoo. In ‘Style’ MV at 00:13, HS’s paper airplane necklace, one Taylor wore publicly before, shows up. At her lucky number of seconds, Taylor is holding it like she’s praying, implying her best wishes for the relationship that the paper airplane represented. Throughout the music video, all the broken mirrors and jaded reflections alluded to a recognition of a kindred spirit. Media portrayals of their identities are so distorted to the point where the relationship people see is just a theatrical show for entertainment. I mean, ‘Style’ is almost 4 minutes long and, just 40 seconds in, the lyrics transition to ‘Fade into view’. If this doesn’t scream cinematic, I don’t know what else does. When Taylor flippantly said she could’ve named ‘Style’ as ‘I’m not even sorry’ and called it a day, I think she meant how she twisted the narrative in her favor and the media bought into it so much so that they’re chasing their own tails. Which is a reference I just made to ‘I Know Places’. What can I say? I’m a slave to my queen.]

>And I remember thinkin'

[Then the chorus repeats here. So I’m not going to repeat the interpretation.]

>Remember when you hit the brakes too soon?

>Twenty stitches in the hospital room

>When you started cryin', baby, I did, too

[If your loved one got hurt when they’re away on a job, would you cry when you heard the news? Especially when there’s nothing you could do to help? Then consider this. If Taylor was there to witness the conversation between two heartbroken boys, wouldn’t she decide right then and there to protect them against the world? She talked about the incident once before and how she kept its details on the downlow by looking at people involved dead in the eyes and straight up asking for decency. That’s such a mama bear thing to do, if you ask me.]

>But when the sun came up, I was lookin' at you

[The sunrise usually represents hope. I don’t see why this would be any different. Isn’t nice to know that there’s one more person in your corner?]

>Remember when we couldn't take the heat

>I walked out and said, "I'm settin' you free"

>But the monsters turned out to be just trees.

>And when the sun came up, you were lookin' at me

[This is the biggest reach ever. But I think this is when things had gotten so bad for HS and LT. That if they were together, this was probably their first potential breakup. But then HS got his ship tattoo. As a reminder that no matter where he is, he’s homeward bound. And then LT proceeded to get the compass pointing toward home tattooed on his arm. Taylor was there with HS because she’s a character in the PR narrative, just like a tree in the woods. For her, the show must go on. But she’s not a monster so as soon as the PR stunt was done, she booked it out of there. Her ‘I Know Places’ is almost a promise to not out HS & LT even if their PR relationship went down the drain in public. 1D just broke into North America which was sadly rather homophobic half the time, and, well, “Loose lips sink ships all the damn time. Not this time.”]

I need to go to sleep. I can’t believe I just wrote an essay about one hypothetical angle of a relationship that isn’t from a lit class required reading. If you’re dumb, I’m dumber. It’s 4 AM here and I have work in the morning.

Love you, but don’t call me tonight. I need to catch more zzzZzz.

Delaney

[davekat-sucks]

I get that it's mostly used as funny insults, but tbh it still annoys me tbh.

Re-reading HS the trolls feel poorly thought out as a species in general, specially at the start here they reference several human concept that are just weird for them to know about, for example there's a joke where Sollux talks about sex offenders and neighborhoods, even uses the word house instead of Hive, which is honestly kind of an odd analogy to make, you would think Trolls don't really have the whole sex offender registry concept and they would just... Kill them outright since that's how crime cases seem to go there.

With forethought it feels really weird for that to be an analogy unless you think of Trolls and Alternia as just Grey earth, in my opinion.

It just kinda gets worst went he fandom flanderizes this issue and just makes it obvious that they just do not care about keeping the Trolls as alien to most silly human contexts.

Also in reference to the Autism and the mental disorder related slurs, I have an easier time believing Trolls know about mental illness and disorders than they would care much about LGBT concepts or words like Faggot or Gay, since they don't have a concept of sexuality to begin with, but we haven't really heard anything about how mental illness is treated, personally it'd be interesting to see how Alternia deals with it, as an advanced yet barbaric society, my interpretation of it would be that they are aware of those issues and have ways of treating them but they're also seen as signs of weakness, as any flawed seems to be perceived in Troll society, and thus they're openly mocked and its rare to see it taken seriously.

As well as the fact the trolls are made from an INCESTUOUS SLURRY, so technically, even if a label like lesbian is applied to someone like Vriska and people ship her with Terezi, it doesn't change the fact that she is technically fucking with her actual sister. Regardless of the caste name and blood color being different. Same for people who ship Eridan with Sollux, it's still incest in some way. Them explaining how they shouldn't know what certain slurs mean deeper probably was meant to be taken as a joke. But having to explain said joke doesn't make it a joke anymore and is only there to make a wink at the audience and acknowledge how certain words aren't appropriate in today's time, which they think is a joke, but in reality, it's not a joke. Not even a funny one. I want the trolls to stay as aliens. They are their own race and people with different fucked up beliefs. I'm shocked it's not even more applied to Earth C or other fanworks. But then again, considering Alternia's version of Christmas is literally decorating ANIMAL SHIT, it's no surprise people want to tear down some of the alien customs and push human ones instead. It's not racism though troost me. It's just telling people that certain things they have learned on their home planet in history is bad and we need to force them to change it to other people's standards for the safety of themselves and others, mostly to Western standards.

[thequeendesi]

Shit y'all need to acknowledge

Johnny isn't some small "uwu baby"

He's 16 years old

He can hold his own in a fight

He killed someone

He is a minor

He once got beaten by a board and didn't cry

Just bc he expressed remorse for murder, doesn't make him any less of a murderer

"But Des! He was just defending himself and Pony!" That is true, however, it doesn't change the fact that he is one, and you guys need to stop fucking acting like all he does is cry and is a "smol uwu baby". He isn't some stutter-y fool who can't speak up for himself. He stood up to DALLAS. He stood up to the SOCS. He saved CHILDREN. Johnny is so misinterpreted. He's SOFT SPOKEN, He is not DEFENCELESS.

Ponyboy is NOT a cry baby.

He is a 14 year old boy who lost his parents and then saw a DEAD body right in front of him

Ponyboy is a CHILD

Please read that one again

Ponyboy is a child who lost 4 people in less than a year

Who would most likely deal w ptsd.

Ponyboy can also hold his own in a fight.

The reason why pony thinks everyone hates him; HES A KID DUDE. Everyone gets that feeling.

"But Des! He cries a lot in the book :(". You tell me that you wouldn't cry after being an orphan raised by your eldest brother who is under so much stress that you think he hates you, lose your parents in a car crash, near 'bout fucking drown than like 30 minutes later see that person dead right next to you, lose your best friend right in front of your eyes, and then witness someone's suicide. The kid is going through the motions. He can't even remember to keep both of his shoes on, he has a nicotine addiction, and had to go to court to pretty much testify.

Dallas is literally a criminal at like 16ish years old

He fights

Steals

Harasses women

He terrorizes kids

All for the hell of it

He got locked up at 10

He isn't some good guy, he is a TERRIBLE person

"Uh, Des, He gave Johnny and Pony a place to stay when they went on the run, he obviously is a good person." Ok, no. Literally. No. He gave them a temporary place to go while they were on the run for murder. He gave a child a gun. He literally kept trying to get into Cherry's pants after she told him no. That is nOT ok. You guys need to stop glorifying Dallas as this hero who saved the day. Dallas is CANNONLY terrible person; he bullies kids, harasses women, breaks peoples bones for fun, steals and tried to rob a man at gun point. How bad of a kid could you be to get locked up at 10??

Soda is a high school drop out.

And he isnt better than Sandy

He flirted with other chicks

He made inappropriate comments to women

Soda's pretty much only talents are being "pretty" and "good at cars"

He isn't that smart. It's literally canon. And he's also a child at 16.

"But Sandy cheated Des!" In the book, i dont remember where it said Sandy cheated. I know she ran away to Florida. But the whole cheating part i dont really remember that. It's pretty much speculation people made to peg Sandy, a woman only mentioned like ONE or TWO TIMES, a villan. Soda isn't that much better if she even did cheat anyway. Soda regularily called women names, cat call, whistle, flirted. Pretty much was unloyal in different ways. Soda isn't that innocent either.

Steve doesnt fucking hate Ponyboy.

Steve isn't mentioned more than a handful of times anyway

Steve is pretty much described as Soda's best friend, who's gf's name is Evie, and "hates Pony"

He doesn't hate pony.

Coming from the eldest sibling with 5 younger, anyone would get annoyed if their friend's younger sibling would try to tag along everywhere.

He isnt a drop out, and is 16

Another child

Wow

"But Des. Pony literally says Steve hates him." And what i gotta say is; there are 2 sides to every story. Everything you guys say about Steve are pretty much speculation bc you want to villanize someone so bady. Steve is a child/teenager who wants to hang w his best friend and his gf, and his best friends gf without a kid tagging along. And i totally relate. It. Gets. Irritating. Stop villanizing Steve. Hes pretty much the best character.

Two Bit is a 18 year old alcoholic

Who pulls up girl's skirts at movie theaters

Does he even have a gf bc if he did he's definitely a cheater

Twobit is 18 and a jr in hs (wow just like my pos exgf)

He cares about ponyboy and shows it

He blames himself for pony getting sick (even tho that little asshole took a shitton of meds which isnt good)

"But Des! He-" nope. Shut up. TwoBit is a little shit too, he pulled a girls skirt up in public, does that mean him doing a bunch of good shit eliminate him humiliating that girl? Fuck no, he should pay the consequences of his actions. He isn't pure and innocent either, but he isnt a huge fucking dickwad either. He's just insensitive to women's feelings.

DARRY IS 20.

HE IS UNDER A LOT OF STRESS

HE'S BARELY PAYING BILLS

He's worried all the time, Ponyboy sleeping until the middle of the damn night in a fucking lot doesn't make it better.

Should he have slapped him? No. Do i understand on why he did? Yea

I have slapped the shit out of someone for saying something out of line. Ponyboy is a child, he doesnt understand the stress of being an adult, said something, and Dar lost it for a second.

"Darry abused Ponyboy!" No. He didn't. He did not abuse his brother, he provides the necessities, he smacked him ONE TIME. That is not abuse, maybe a small assault, but not abuse. And please refer to the fact, there is pretty much a cake in the fridge everyday that he makes. He works a job roofing houses, he takes care of a brother who dropped out of school and a brother whos going through a quarter life crisis. The man is stressed and tired. But he, of all people, doesn't deserve to be villanized the way y'all are doing. Quit.

"Cherry Valance/Sandy/Sylvia are a bunch of whores who cheated!" Yo, shut the fuck up. Cherry didnt even cheat. She talked to pony and then stopped. She had a reputation to uphold, shes a cheerleader, she has the ideal life. I completely understand on why she stopped, bc in all honesty i would have stopped too if my whole reputation was at stake. I did talk stop talking to a bunch of people bc my reputation and friendships were at stake. Shes also a kid.

Sandy is a teenager who made a mistake/choice if she did cheat. But running away from her problems is something a lot of people do. Ok. I know a lot of people who run away from their problems. Its pretty fucking common.

I DO NOT BLAME SYLVIA FOR CHEATING ON DALLAS. The man is in jail pretty much all of the time, he is bad with communicating his feelings, he's a fucking asshole. He probably cheated on her too, and treated her like shit. Don't villanize Sylvia and treat Dal like some victim of "bad gf syndrome" when they both made mistakes in the relationship.

[maliciouslycreative]

Sheith fanfic rec list

One of my favourite things about Voltron and Sheith writers seems to be our love for humour. There have been so many fics that have had me inappropriately laughing in the break room at work or making inhuman sounds that have made my partner run into the room to ask if I’m ok. And today I would love to share with you some of my favourites because who doesn’t love a good dose of idiots to lovers. I’ll try to only list one fic by an author just to keep this list from getting absolutely out of hand so please make sure to check out all the other great works that each and every one of these writers has written.

If you have more funny sheith fics you want to add on please do, we would all appreciate your contributions!

(under the cut to save people on mobile)

Drunk on the idea of you, baby

By: corduroyworks

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17029245

Rating: T

Summary: Shiro might grow just a bit attached to the trashed boy in the corner booth with pretty eyes that can't eat a burger.

Why I love it: I think about Keith eating that hamburger all the time. Sometimes my sister and I will even mime eating a hamburger badly and cackle madly while everyone else looks at us in confusion. 

Fwd: Misunderstood

Author: ArtForRogue

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16228643

Rating: T

Summary: Keith is an office worker in charge of the fabled KOSMO project. His right-hand man is named Takashi Shirogane -- a man Keith fervently hates because of three years of misunderstandings. When Shiro requests to meet face-to-face, Keith is ready to exact his revenge. Little does he know, Shiro thinks he's been smoothly flirting this entire time...

Why I love it: Keith hates Shiro, Shiro likes Keith. Shiro is trying his best to convey this but maybe, just maybe, some things are getting lost in the fact that they only communicate through IMs through work and Keith is just not great at social cues even at the best of times. 

Got me feeling sub kind of way

Author: arahir

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14061882

Rating: G

Summary: Shiro was a lawyer. Keith was a sandwich. (Can I make it any more obvious?)

Why I love this: Ok yes this is a classic of the fandom but honestly it’s just so endlessly funny. I don’t know how many times my sister and I have made casual reference to “he was a sandwich, and he was a lawyer”. Honestly any time someone’s like “he was a lawyer” I blurt out “and he was a sandwich” despite the latter definitely not being true to the situation. I did almost list another one of arahir’s works, Awoo, but went with this because that one isn’t finished but both are absolute GEMS. 

If You Teach A Fish To Man

Author: Saasan

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15495900

Rating: E

Summary: Keith hasn't seen Hero in almost a year and the humans on the docks aren't gossiping sufficiently (curse them), so the merman has decided to take matters into his own hands. He didn't save the man from drowning just to have him disappear, after all! Now equipped with a fresh set of legs, he's ready to find out Hero's fate. Providing, of course, he can make it off the beach.

Why I love it: It’s the little mermaid, but with a happy ending and Lance being the best Lance he can possibly be.

Italian Restaurant series

Author: CGotAnAccount

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1231943

Rating: G-T

Summary (to first fic in the series): He'd like to think that he's gotten better over the years at being a functional adult and a decent husband – that maybe things don't slip by him like they used to.

Things like understanding office cougars don't actually need help getting their coats on.

Like when someone says they're fine but then sighs dramatically afterward they're probably not fine, Lance.

Like this definitely human kidney floating in a pot of ice in his sink.

Why I love it: This is the “definitely not a serial killer AU” that I highly recommend. Sheith are together, in love, they have their goodest boy, and everything is good. Except for Keith finding out that maybe his husband has some unusual hobbies. There are times I pick up a bottle of ibuprofen and just start laughing. 

Shades of cool

Author: tagteamme

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17410229

Rating: T

Summary: Pretending to be Romelle's father, Keith storms into a parent-teacher interview with all the righteous fury the situation calls for and ends up running into the most handsome man he's ever seen.

Why I love it: It goes exactly as well as you expect, and then keeps going further and further down the hole and it’s GREAT. And the peanut gallery makes sure Keith will never live this down. Plus Keith’s dad just being awesome.

We just fall where our hearts go

Author: artsy_alice

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15871422

Rating: T

Summary: The Super Cheesy Cliche High School Romcom no one asked for.

In which Keith and Romelle are siblings, Shiro and Sven are cousins, and everything changes when Sven sees Romelle and falls head-over-heels in love.

Why I love it: This is one of the first fics I read in this fandom and it came for me. I love cheesy hs au and this one was cute and absolutely hilarious. I loved watching Romelle and Sven disastrously flirt with each other and subsequently bring Keith and Shiro together. This also sold me forever on Keith and Romelle being siblings. 

Welcome To The Pink Parade

Author: Ardene

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18795751

Rating: G

Summary: He worked in Hot Topic, he worked in Sanrio. Can I make it any more obvious?

A story of two idiots falling in love, inspired by the picture of the Hot Topic and Sanrio store right beside each other.

Why I love it: I’m so glad that I had a hand in helping this come to be. I still can’t walk through a mall food court without thinking about Shiro and the poutine. Also as someone that has worked in a mall this speaks to me on a spiritual level.

You Spin My Head Right Round

Author: themomentofdavyprentiss

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15334125

Rating: T

Summary: Come on, Shiro, he tells himself. Didn't anyone ever tell you not to flirt with bloody strangers in laundromats while you stand almost completely naked?

No. No one has ever told him that. In fact, Shiro feels fairly confident that no one has ever had to tell anyone that.

Which means, obviously, that it's okay.

~

or, alternatively, the one where Shiro helps Keith with his dirty load.

Why I love it: Meeting in a laundromat is usually a meet cute but this kind of turns int on his head. It’s weird, delightful, and honestly pretty sweet.

 Your Constellation Prize Author: rosegardenlake Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16898082 Rating: M Summary: Akira is Hollywood's biggest celebrity. He sings, he acts, he models, he does it all and he does it perfectly. That's what Shiro thinks at least, but what would he know? He's just a tired office worker whose dreams fell through years ago. ...But when he sees Akira, oh god, when he sees him - Shiro's world fills with light again.

When Shiro lands an interview to be an assistant at Akira's company, he has a hard time believing it's reality. Though Akira's rarely around, meeting everyone is like a dream. Especially meeting Keith, Akira's shy sweet dorky cousin (OR IS HE?!)

Why I love it: This is a 2 person love triangle at its finest. I also think about the button scene on occasion. Whenever I gotta wear a shirt with buttons I’m just rocketed back to this story and I start laughing. It’ll also just put you through some emotional times. Honestly such a good ride the whole way through. 

[late-nite-student-ramblings]

Reflection of my first year-  Highschool vs University.

So you’ve probably heard it from all of your teachers in high school, I know I did. 

“They’re not going to be this ___ in college” the blank usually being something along the lines of “on your ass/ lenient/ understanding/tolerant/etc”. So I’m here to approve/disprove some common ideas passed on and maybe ease your mind. Or make you more worried, however you want to see it. 

Keep in mind these are from a public university student’s POV so I can’t speak for everyone.  

1) “It’s going to be tougher in college” 

Well yes and no. That’s how schooling works, every year you move up the material gets harder so that you can advance in your knowledge. It’d be kind of useless if we just kept learning the same level of material year after year. However, I think what they meant to say was that it got exponentially harder in college and I don’t think this is the case, especially not for the first year. 

2) “These people earned their degrees so they’re going to demand respect and you’ll have to call them Dr./Mrs./Mr/ whatever” 

Not true, some of my best professors went by their first name. One actually would forget to respond if you called him “professor” because he always went by his first name. Being on a first-name basis is usually something the professor covers in the first class so if they tell you which to call them great! Call them that. If they don’t, maybe ask or stick with “professor” until it’s made clear. 

3) “No one’s going to hold your hand/No one’s going to remind you./They’ll just refer you to the syllabus”

Wrong, at least for the first year. The syllabus is a thing that most professors use and it would do you well to print them out and look at it from time to time so you aren’t completely lost. That being said, all of my professors did help us out in some way, some more than others. My maths profs would send out emails telling us the hw every week and, a week before finals, sent out emails every other day reminding us about the final’s time/location, English prof would remind us a week in advance and have in-class workshops before papers were due. Our criminal justice AI (Assistant Instructor) wrote up and gave us the rubric she’d be using to grade our book reviews. 

When teaching lower-level classes, professors know they’re going to be teaching mostly first-years and understand it does no good to just throw you in the fire. 

4) “You’ll have to learn to be responsible”

100%. This is very vague but it is true, not only in academics but in your personal life too. Time management is the biggest factor. College is a lot less condensed than high-school meaning more free time. Even when I took 17.5 credit hours I still had plenty of time on my hands. The challenge is how to handle that time. It’s going to be so tempting to go to forget about the assignments because it’s not due every day or the paper is due next month. Use your first year to learn about your study habits and what works best for you to learn the material. And I don’t recommend doing all your hw the day before, even if you can. While it is important to get your work done it’s also important that you aren’t falling apart at the seams from stress. Be responsible for yourself. 

5) “They won’t stand tardiness, the doors will be locked and sucks to suck”

Depends on the professor but usually not. I’ve seen people walk out of class 20 min early, I’ve been 10 min late for class a couple of times. Went to office hours got notes I missed. Most profs don’t mind as long as you aren’t disrupting the class. I’ve even seen a kid run into an exam 30 min late, poor kid overslept. I have had the occasional stickler for being on time but after a while its shown not to be worth policing students like that.

Don’t make a habit of it though. They get it, life happens, people oversleep, busses are late, and what have you. But understand that there are some things that punctuality is vital, meetings with a professor,  exams (unless you think you can do the exam in half the time, you’re paying for it), interviews, labs (you usually need all the time you can get with those).

Edit: 6) “Don’t take an 8am you’ll hate yourself”

I’ve heard this more from advice online but I’m still going to put it here anyway. 8ams aren’t that bad. When you wake up in hs for an 8am you’re also waking up to do nothing but sit and listen for the next 8 hours nonstop. This is extremely different than waking up for an hour maybe two hours worth of sitting in a lecture at a time and more later. I had somewhere to be by 8am every day of the week and it's honestly something you get used to. Any starting class time is early if your sleep schedule’s fucked. My advice? Adjust and regulate your sleep schedule. Find out how much sleep you need to be a useful, productive,  decent human being and count backward.

7) “All the classes are so big/the professors won’t know you”

True but it depends. I’ve had both large (150+) and small classes (20 ish) and it is entirely possible the professor will not know you in either situation. 

With professors knowing you, that is usually up to you. I ask a lot of questions both in and out of class. I can guarantee that if you go to office hours consistently they will eventually learn your face. I ended up going to almost every one of my calc 1 profs office hours (meaning I saw him around an hour a day 4 days a week). Emailed him a thank you at the end of the semester and he actually referenced back to a small conversation we had towards the beginning of the year. So if you want the prof to notice you, ask every question you have, even if its a clarification question. if you have too many write them down and go to office hours. 

Feel free to add your own experience or ask about a rumor you’ve heard! Happy to clarify anything in the post or just have a chat.

All the best,

-E

[destieltropecollection]

Destiel Trope Collection 2019 Day 17: Friends To Lovers

No Longer A Bat-chelor | @envydean Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 6787 Main Tags and Warnings: Wildlife Rescuer!Dean, Wildlife Vet!Cas, fluff, blanket sharing Summary: Dean's always been too busy for a relationship, but, after a visit to the wildlife vet with his latest rescues, Cas asks him out and Dean agrees. Maybe the universe just needed him to wait until the right time.

Catch 22 | @dmsilvisart Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 3664 Main Tags and Warnings: friends to lovers, pining, halloween, swearing, suggested or mild sexual content Summary: Their entire town knew that Dean or Cas were a sure thing if you wanted meaningless sex and you were in for a damn good time. Word got around and neither man left their partner wanting when the night was through. DEAN A year ago, at this Halloween party, Cas and Dean ended up tumbling into bed together after the festivities. They had been friends for ages and occasionally fuck buddies when one of their dates hadn’t panned out. Since then, they’ve been a regular for each other but still not exclusive. Dean knew Cas occasionally had other partners and so did Dean. Truth be told, it had been a couple months since Dean got any enjoyment out of sex that wasn’t with Cas. CASTIEL Cas was leaving his schedule open in case Dean called. It was pathetic but that's what it was. He wanted his best friend around as more than just a hookup, He wanted Dean to himself. He hadn’t enjoyed sex for months unless it was with Dean. Don’t get him wrong, he still had sex, but there was no connection. He couldn’t leave fast enough when all was said and done. He always spent the night with Dean though.

C Is For... | @spinnerjen Rating: Mature Word Count: 24369 Main Tags and Warnings: Major Character Death, Cancer, Terminal Illnesses Summary: Summary: Health expert and dietician, Castiel has just been told he has two years to live... He plans to make the most of it.

Since Always | @casbeanwrites Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1936 Main Tags and Warnings: friends to lovers, fluff, mutual pining, best friends, first kiss Summary: They are best friends, they always have been. Or so Dean constantly tells himself.

Memories Can Hurt or Heal | @fangirlingtodeath513 Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1606 Main Tags and Warnings: Alternate Universe - No Monsters Summary: Dean moved into this house months ago. There's one box on the top shelf of his closet that remains unpacked. A rainy Saturday morning seems like the perfect time to reminisce, doesn't it?

Goddamnit, Cas! | @imbiowaresbitch Rating: Explicit Word Count: 3932 Main Tags and Warnings: Friends to lovers, human Cas, porn without plot, fluff Summary: Human!Cas has an oral fixation and it is positively destroying Dean's ability to think. Cas isn't trying to be a cocktease, but Dean is about to burst. And yeah, Cas is a total cocktease.

Not a couple | @huntersandwerewolves Rating: Explicit Word Count: 2426 Main Tags and Warnings: school reunion, friends to lovers, confessions, first kiss, frottage Summary: Castiel had had enough. After years of sexual tension, unrequited feelings and being teased by their friends, he was done. Dean wasn’t in love with him and he was fine with that, but he didn’t have to rub it in. The length Dean went through to make sure people knew they WEREN’T dating was ridiculous and frankly, Cas had had enough.

trustworthy for such work | @reallyelegantsharkfish Rating: Explicit Word Count: 7474 Main Tags and Warnings: Dragon Castiel, djinn dean, Dragons, Djinni & Genies, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Demisexual Castiel, Mutual Pining, Magic, Wishes References to Addiction, References to Knotting Summary: Cas hugs his pillow, and he’s mostly asleep when a memory works its way in. His father watching Fox news, a fearmongering piece about ifrits in healthcare. His father’s voice, saying, Blood is how they take your wishes. Cas always assumed that meant through feeding. But —

First Words | @suckerfordeansfreckles Rating: General Word Count: 1051 Main Tags and Warnings: friends to lovers, mild hurt/comfort, mentions of alcohol, Cas had too many drinks, love confessions Summary: Cas isn’t sure why he decides to text Dean now, at 3:24 a.m. — but with how his stomach is roaring and his head is pounding, his mouth still tasting like cheap tequila, all he wants is his best friend to take care of him. Cas: I don’t know why i even let Meg drag me out to party, but this isit Cas: i think i’ll die Cas: i didn’t realize i had such a low alcohol tolernce

Untimely Confessions of Love and Other Things - A Hunter's Realization in 5 Parts | @lemonsorbae Rating: General Word Count: 1732 Main Tags and Warnings: Post-Canon, Pining Dean, Oblivious Castiel, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers Summary: They’re dangling off his tongue again, those three little words; the three most terrifying words in the entire English language. It’s getting harder and harder to hang on to them, to keep them imprisoned.

Adventures in Problem Solving | @blueeyesandpie Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 5726 Main Tags and Warnings: no warnings, fluff and goodness, College/University AU, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Christmas, Fluff, Russian Castiel, Human Castiel, Student Castiel, Student Dean Winchester Summary: Dean and Cas have been living together since freshman year and despite their many differences, that's how Dean wants to keep it. Then senior year rolls around and Castiel reminds Dean that his student visa expires soon after he graduates. Dean has a mad plan, but can they keep up the charade long enough for Cas to stay in America where he belongs, or will Dean's growing feelings get in the way?

i need you | @breathingdestiel Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1688 Main Tags and Warnings: au, actor!cas, actor!dean Summary: Dean and Cas are acting in the same movie after a long time. This would be fantastic if Dean didn’t have a huge crush on his best friend.

Sweeten My Heart | @breathingdestiel Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 2332 Main Tags and Warnings: hs!au, pining Summary: Cas is in love with his best friend who is straight and could never love him back. But why is Dean all of a sudden calling him sweetheart, sunshine, and other pet names? Is it possible that Cas's love isn't unrequited after all?

Pen Pal | @peanutbutterjelly-pie Rating: General Word Count: 5246 Main Tags and Warnings: Alternate Universe, Pen Pals, Friends to Lovers, Fluff Summary: “Hey, Cas, you wanna be my pen pal?” * * * * * * * * * (Dean is twelve years old when he asks Castiel to be his pen pal, not knowing that it will change his life completely.)

I'm Okay With That | @DesiraeLovesDestiel Rating: Explicit Word Count: 6221 Main Tags and Warnings: Professor Cas/Mechanic Dean, best friends to lovers, pining, love confssions Summary: "Look Cas, I'm sorry, okay? Really. I never meant for you to find out, or make you uncomfortable. We can just pretend this whole thing never happened." "Seriously? Pretend that I didn't just learn you've been in love with me for fourteen years?" Dean has been in love with his best friend Castiel Novak since they were children. A fact that Cas was NEVER supposed to find out.

Hands | @marian-elisa Rating: Explicit Word Count: 2297 Main Tags and Warnings: Friendship/Love, Canon compliant, missing moments Summary: Dean wasn’t sure of when it happened, but holding Cas’ hand had become just as vital as breathing for him. Or: a reflection written from the point of view of their hands.

Let's Just Get a Beer Instead | @a-winchester-scorned  Rating: Explicit Word Count: 5941 Main Tags and Warnings: Destiel, Bottom Castiel, PWP, Top Dean, First Time Summary: Dean’s plan to get Cas laid didn’t go as planned, so they settle for a few beers at a dive bar.

Dean Likes (Cas') Anatomy | @braezenkitty Rating: Explicit Word Count: 2328 Main Tags and Warnings: Alternate Universe - College/University, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, First Time, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Time, Blow Jobs, Frottage Summary: Dean and Cas have been best friends since they were kids, and they've also had crushes on each other for just about as long. They finally get their shit together thanks to an Anatomy midterm.

Not good enough? | @notfunnydean Rating: General Word Count: 6099 Main Tags and Warnings: sad!dean, Crying!Dean, pining!dean, Pining!Cas, two idiots in love Summary: When Dean finds a list in Cas’ room, where Cas has written down everything he hates about him, Dean tries to become a brand new person. But Castiel seems to hate that as well.

Ten Years Gone | @mittensmorgul Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 4011 Main Tags and Warnings: Fluff, Anniversary, Feelings, Dean's Top 13 Zepp Traxx Mixtape Summary: Ten years after Cas first pulled Dean out of Hell, they both realized that somewhere along the way, they'd saved each other.

What Do You Wish For? | @envydean Rating: Explicit Word Count: 1500 Main Tags and Warnings: Camping, Fluff, Smut, Fingering, semi-public smut, First Time, allusions to Dean/Others, Wishes, Recreational Drug Use, Weed, sharing joints Summary: Dean, Cas, and their senior high school friends are on their annual camping trip. The sun has set and Cas wants some space to reset himself after a lot of socialising and Dean joins him.

Cold-Hearted | @supernatural9917fic Rating: Explicit Word Count: 1595 Main Tags and Warnings: they were roommates, Friends to Lovers, angry breakup songs, Fluff and Smut Summary: Dean's just gone through a bad break-up, so Cas helps him the best way he knows how- booze and angry break-up songs.

Never or Forever | @almaasi Rating: General Word Count: 5604 Main Tags and Warnings: Canon Universe, Fluff, Romance, Relationship Reveal, Best Friends, Friends to Lovers, Mistaken for a Couple, Resolved Romantic Tension, First Kiss, Family Dinners, Everyone Ships Castiel/Dean, Bisexual Dean, Bisexual Jody, Matchmaker Jody Mills, Wayward Sisters, Everyone Is Alive, Kaia Nieves Lives, Eileen Leahy Lives, POV Jody Mills, Eavesdropping Summary: During an impromptu family dinner, Jody figures out that Dean is in a happy long-term relationship. But does he even know? Cas is clearly paying attention. Yet Dean seems to think he's single. Jody never thought of herself as a meddler – but clearly, under circumstances such as these, something must be done.

Gulls N' Roses | @almaasi Rating: General Word Count: 2414 Main Tags and Warnings: Canon Universe, Romance, Fluff, Gift Exchange, True Love, Roses, Misunderstandings, First Kiss, Holding Hands, Ghost Hunters, Seaside Storms, Arcades, Dean Loves Pie, Angel Castiel, Autistic Castiel Summary: While mid-hunt, Dean gives Cas a red rose. Interpreting the gift as a gesture of true love, Cas decides to give Dean something very special in return.

Prince of the Ether Realms | @almaasi Rating: General Word Count: 5423 Main Tags and Warnings: Canon Universe, Fluff, Romance, Weddings, Misunderstandings, Marriage of Convenience, Dean is Bad at Feelings, Sam Knows, Shipper Sam, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Portals, Cuddly Dean, Angel Castiel, Agender Castiel, Prince Castiel Summary: To complete a spell, Castiel needs to marry a human. Sam, Dean, and Cas make do with a simple two-minute ceremony in the bunker's library. It means nothing, it's just a means to an end. But what begins as a shortcut for spellwork becomes something far more important, as the human Cas chooses to marry is Dean. As it happens, the shift in their relationship is very real – and the effects, one might say, are universe-bending.

Whoa There Cowboy | @almaasi Rating: Explicit Word Count: 5381 Main Tags and Warnings: Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Smut, Fluff, Romance, Dean's Cowboy Fetish, Cowboy Dean, Bisexual Dean, Cowboy Castiel, Porn Watching, Misunderstandings, First Kiss, First Time, Masturbation, Roleplay, Frottage, Love Confessions, Cuddling & Snuggling, Castiel Watches Dean Winchester Sleep, Episode: s13e06 Tombstone Summary: If you're gonna jerk off, watch something you find sexy, Dean said. There's a dirty cowboy movie on TV, and that suits him perfectly. But he never expected that Cas would want to watch /him/.

A Place and a Feeling | @almaasi Rating: Explicit Word Count: 24402 Main Tags and Warnings: Alternate Universe, Romance, Schmoop, Domestic Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Feelings With Porn, Real Estate Agent Castiel, Castiel in Glasses, Castiel in Panties, Bisexual Dean, Workplace Relationship, House Hunting, Love Confessions, Desk Sex, Premature Ejaculation, Moving In Together, Cuddling & Snuggling, Pets, Adopted Children, Adoptive Parents Castiel & Dean Summary: Human AU. Dean Winchester still hasn't found the perfect little house in the suburbs he's always dreamed of. On the off-chance that another meeting with his totally adorkable realtor could finally change everything, Dean keeps going back to Castiel's agency. Like Cas always says, home is both a place and a feeling. But what if the place Dean's looking for is Castiel's house, and the feeling is Castiel himself? Sometimes the most unprofessional choices lead to the most enjoyable personal consequences. This is one of those times.

...and so you fell 'verse (WIP) (Series) | @babybluecas 

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 15605 Main Tags and Warnings:canon divergence, alt-season 9, fallen!Cas, fluff and angst Summary: After the fall, Cas finds his way to the Bunker, but that's hardly the end of his road. Humanity comes with its burdens, but it might have some perks as well.

Tag Your Porn | jscribbles (AO3) Rating: Mature Word Count: 3517 Main Tags and Warnings: panty kink, fourth wall, TFW reads fanfiction, naughty Summary: When Becky sends Sam some of EllenOfOz's fanfiction, he makes it his mission to use Destiel fanfiction to mortify Dean. But to his surprise, Cas seems intrigued by panties, Dean slowly becomes engrossed in fanfic, and what the hell are they doing cooped up in Dean's room for so goddamn long? Sam is scarred for life when he goes to find out exactly what they're up to.

[mysideblogofsurveys]

Survey 16.

Favorite beverage: Well, Water I guess.  I like drinking Mt. Dew or Coffee but I’ve cut back on all that stuff (but I will have a cup of coffee every morning)

When was the last time you had ketchup? On Saturday.  We made Sweet Potato Fries but they don’t really good with ketchup

What is the most recent gift you've been given? My co-workers gave me a GrubHub gift card for all the help (they’re working from home but I still go into the office so they e-mail what they need to do to me so I can do it for them - I actually hate doing it but..we don’t really have a choice).  Anyway, they wanted to give me something as “Thanks for all the help” and I told them a simple “Thank You” is all I want but people don’t listen. (Not to be ungrateful but I don’t like receiving gifts from anyone other than family and NO ONE listens and gives me things anyway).

Did you leave the house today? Not yet, I’ll be leaving about 8:10 to go to work

Are there bumper stickers on your car? Yes :) a “Straw Hat” pirate one from the anime One Piece and an EXO sticker for the kpop group.

Are you watching tv right now? Kind of.  “Dark” on Netflix.  I paused it briefly though to read these questions - its in German so I need to read the subtitles.

Are you wearing anything blue? No

Do you have a job? Yes..but I’ve been thinking about quitting so I can move back to the city I loved.  Life is too short to live in a place you don’t like and I’ve seen other jobs I can apply for so I’m not worried.

Is your car messy? No, I like to keep it clean.

When did you last have whipped cream? This morning..I like using heavy whipping cream in my coffee (as opposed to the other creamers that are all sugar).  My husband uses the canned/aerosol whipped cream in his coffee though.

How far away is the closest house? Literally down 2 flights of stairs.  I live on the 3rd floor of an apartment.

What street do you live on? On one that has a cool name

Are you dating anyone? I’m married.

What color is you computer? Both my laptop and desktop are black

Do you own an iPod? What color is it? I do!  I won an iPod at my high school graduation celebration (my class had a “lock in” at the school - basically they “lock” you in the school (from like 6pm to 6am) where you can play games, nap if you want, eat all sorts of junk food or just hang out and have a party for everyone graduating, it was a lot of fun.  They had a raffle before everyone went home the next morning and I won an iPod (this was in 2006 so a long time ago lol) But it was just the standard black one.

What is the most recent picture on your phone/camera of: UGH OMG so I forgot I took a picture of this DISGUSTING roach that I found in our apt on Friday night.  They’re not the tiny/infestation ones, they’re large “Palmetto Bug” roaches that tend to wander into houses that have cracks and our vents.  Since I live in an apartment, theres not much I can do about it. I can’t wait to move!!!

Have you ever shot a gun? Oh definitely, we like to go to the gun range with my father-in-law.  Its a great way for us to bond and I hope to God I’ll never ever have to actually use one but I like the idea of not being completely defenseless if someone breaks into my house (as I’m small and could easily get overpowered)

What temperature is it? Maybe 70 in the apt but probably 80s outside? Do you know anyone with a third nipple? Uh..no.

What do your parents do for a living? My Mom is a dental hygienist and my Dad is an Electrician.

Have you ever had a pet that had babies? No :/ I always thought that would have been fun though

Which grocery store is closest to you? Publix

Do you have a hamper in your room? Yes

Do you know anyone that's a nurse? Yes but I haven’t talked to him in years.

Do you know someone with the name Alaina? No

What color is the blanket on your bed? Ahh, black blankets, blue blankets, purple blanket..we have like 4 or 5 blankets on our bed.

What are your parent's middle names? Well, one starts with an “S” the other starts with an “E”

Have you ever broken a bone? Yes, kind of

Do you wear braces or glasses? I wear glasses and had braces growing up.

What color are they? I’m assuming my glasses?  They’re black and have tiny stars in the corner. 

Are you currently reading a book? Yes, I’m reading “Legends of the Alfar” by Markus Heitz

When did you last get your blood drawn? Its been quite a few years

Have you ever done hard drugs? No, I’ve smoked weed before but didn’t like it.

How many contacts are in your phone? A lot but thats because I haven’t deleted them.  If I deleted everyone I don’t talk to, there wouldn’t be many.

Does your toilet have a seat cover? No.

What's currently on your grocery list? I have a whole list.  We haven’t been to the grocery store in a few days but we need to go when I get off work.

What things do you take with you everywhere? Wallet, phone, car keys..and my Zune (yes, the MP3 player from like 2000 lol)

Do you know someone that is/was over 100 years old? No but my Great-Grandpa is still living and he’s 96

Was your HS principal a girl or a boy? Woman I think..I actually don’t remember

Have you ever eaten a raw egg? No

Do you own any rings? Yes

Have you eaten fruit today? Not yet.  I’ve peeled 2 clementines for my breakfast when I get to work though

What about milk? Nope, not for a couple weeks.

What letter does your state start with? F

Could you list all 50 states? Easily.

What about their capitals? No, I used to be able to though

What internet browser do you use? Firefox.

Do you know anyone that lives in Wyoming? No, but my Husband and I joke about just leaving everything and moving there sometimes (to just get away from all the idiocy we see in this city).  I can’t believe there are only 500,000 people living in the entire state!

Do you smoke cigarettes? No

Which person you know has the most unique name? A few I suppose

Do you know someone that's missing a limb? No

Do you have facial hair? I don’t but my husband does Are you a bad person? I’m not and I hope no one thinks I am

What was the last swear you said? Bullshit (referring to my state closing beaches for Independence Day - yes I realize this was over a week ago but it still annoys me)

Have you ever called the police on someone? No

What is the most amount of pets you've had at one time? Two - a cat and dog

When did you last check your email? Yesterday.

Have you ever had a 3rd degree burn? No

Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? Yes, I fainted at work on time and they brought me to the hospital to find out what was wrong - thankfully it was nothing major

How long is your hair? About the middle of my back

Do you lock your doors at night? Oh yeah, they’re always locked even when we’re home.

Does your bedroom have a lock? Our bedroom doors do not

What do you have at your bedside? I have a table with old mail, a clock and sometimes my book (I want to read more before bed instead of looking at my phone)

How big is your bed? King

Do you know someone that was murdered? No

Do you know someone who's pregnant? No.  My friend was pregnant recently but she miscarried :(

Do you wear a watch? No, but I want to start wearing one!

What was your first pet? A cat

How much jewelry do you own? Not too much.  I don’t really wear jewelry.

What is the closest purple thing? My EXO pencil bag - it has their logo in a galaxy themed colors (purple, blue and green)

Green? Same thing as above

What time is it? 7:44am

What is your ideal profession? I wish I knew!! I have no idea :(

How tall are you? Like 5′0

Have you ever gotten x-rays? Yes

Do you wear gloves in the winter? I would but its never Winter in FL.

Do you consider yourself smart? Eh, so so.  I’m not stupid but I”m also not a genius.  I’m just average.

What color eyes are the prettiest? Gray-Blue eyes or Dark brown

Are your teeth straight? Yes

Do you like chocolate milk? I do but I don’t drink it because of all the sugar

Do you own a bike? No, I haven’t in years.  I want to buy one though but theres not really a place to bike where I live right now.

Are you taller than your mom? No, she’s like 5′1 lol so she’s just barely taller than me

Have you ever been engaged? Yes :)

What, in your opinion, is the ugliest name? I dont’ know, I don’t particularly like the old style names though

[redefiningthirtysomething]

Ever have a family member that you didn't like? so much so that if they weren't related to you, you would never even consider being their friend? I have one, and that's my little sister. Sad isn't it? It wasn't always this way.

Before I get into why we don't speak, I'm not coming from a place of judgement. I'm nobody to judge, which she doesn't understand. She thinks I judge her, but in all honesty she has made poor Choices and she doesn't take accountability. I decided to set boundaries with her and that makes me "judgy" apparently.

Let's call her Rain. Rain is 5 years younger than me, so that makes her 32. She's the baby of the family and has really taken that title to the next level. This girl has always been the "crazy" one, partying a lot, following bands on tour in Mexico, boy crazy ... always getting her way. That's ok too, as long as she was always being safe. I understood that when she was 18, 19 ... 20. Rain talks a lot of shit for someone who doesn't have their shit together, and I swear it comes back to her each time. Whatever she was talking shit on happens to her.

Anyway, I can go on and on about her crazy childhood and teen years, I could probably write a book about it, time I dont have right now though. I'm just going to jump forward a bit.

2012. She went through a divorce a few years ago from the father of her kids. Very ugly, bitter divorce. Rain has 2 kids, a girl who's 10 and a boy who's 6. Rain got pregnant by a one night stand And they were forced to get married by his parents, they are very religious and felt it was the right thing. I didnt agree with that, but she went ahead and did it. They tried to make the marriage work, they got pregnant again with the boy, hoping it would help them. Rain was fed up though, she hated her life, she wanted to go out and party, be with her friends who were living their lives, but she couldn't. She hated it. She used to live next door to me, we lived in a small apartment in LA and when the neighbors moved we told them to apply for it and they got it. They lived there for about a year until one day Rain decided to leave. She took her kids and they moved in with my mom. Her husband was beside himself, he asked me for advice. I didnt know the ins and outs of the relationship, things are always different behind closed doors right ? She claimed that he beat her, he controlled her, abused her. He claimed she would sneak out to go party and didnt want to care for the kids. A lot of back and forth ... very different stories. So, he stayed in the apartment for about another year before he gave up and filed for divorce. He hoped she would come back, but she was very happy living her new life. She was living rent free and was able to go out, since our mom was home and able to watch the kids. Ok, cool.

Divorce was done and she was free. She started dating, sleeping around ... no judgement, she was single. As long as she was safe. BUT, we found out she moved some guy into my moms condo without my mom knowing. My mom works and travels alot, so it's easy for this to happen. But when my mom found out, she was upset, but didn't do anything about it. I was mad only because she has a little girl and she didn't really know this guy. Ya know? Plus the kids didn't have their own rooms, they slept with her. It was just weird for me. Anyway, couple years later they broke up and he moved out. Then another guy, and another one ... I didn't like the fact that her kids met all these new guys, or that she moved them in. It's like she cant be without a man.

Ex husband fought for 50/50 custody (thank God) and had them on the weekend. Every weekend. Also, ex husband got remarried but Rain doesn't get along with new wife. I wonder why to be honest, I met her and she's nice. I guess it's a territorial thing ? The kids love their stepmom, so that's all that matters.

Ok, now we are in 2018. I'm pregnant with Olivia. We had a falling out for a few months because she stole 2k from our mom. Not cool. They have the same name, so it was easy for her. So I hadn't spoken to her but the day I gave birth she showed up at the hospital. We spoke as if we were never in an argument. It's weird how sisters can do that, right ? I let it go, if mom didn't care why should I. After having Olivia my mom wanted me to stay at her place for 2 weeks so she could help me while I recovered. So, we moved in right after I got out of the hospital. First couple of days were nice, rain was there and was helping with the baby. Her kids were ecstatic to have us there, Bella was having a blast. I had heard of a new boyfriend that she had, but I hadn't yet met. She wanted to take it slow and not introduce him yet. I understand since all the rest were douchbag.

Rain received sad news about an ex boyfriend from high school who had been killed in a hit and run. I remember him, he was the sweetest. They had remained friends over the years so she was devastated. She planned to attend the funeral but didn't want to take her kids. Since I was staying there I offered to watch the kids, I didnt want them to have to go to the funeral.

Side note: I rarely offer to help with her kids because she never shows up the time she says. Also, I used to pick up the kids from school and I had to take them to my place until she got home, usually late and I had to help with homework and dinner. It was hard for us sometimes as we had things to do and we had to take her kids with us. However her kids love us, they say we are the parents they wish they had.

Ok, back to the story. She goes to the funeral.

Day 1: A few hours go by and it's getting later and later. I'm about 5 days post partum, so naturally I'm exhausted. Mom is at work, so we're just at my moms place hanging out. I text her, no response. I text again, no response. I'm starting to worry. I put all the kids to bed and assure the kids they'll see their mom in the morning. Around midnight my phone rings and it's an unknown number. I answered right away since I was worried about rain. It's one of rains old friend from high school who attended the funeral. He says to me that Rain had a lot to drink and was not able to get home. He says to me that she's ok, it was a rough day for all of them and he would bring her home in the morning. I had no choice, so I agreed and we hung up.

(Come to find out later that was her boyfriend on the line, pretending to be a friend from HS, she had left the funeral hours ago)

Day 2: We wake up and we get the kids ready for school. I'm still trying to get used to the new baby while juggling breakfast for the kids. Her kids kept asking about mom, so I told them she was at her best friend's house because it got late. Eli drove all the kids and then left for work. I'm home all day at my moms, had a few visitors wanting to see the baby. No word from Rain yet. No word from Rain all day. Eli picks up all the kids after school and brings them home. We make dinner and play, while attempting to call and text Rain for an answer. Mom is calling Rain leaving voicemails telling her to get her ass home. No call backs and no reply. We all go to bed. Around 2 am I heard my bedroom door open but it was dark and I could not see, I heard keys and the front door close. It took me a minute to get up, post csection, it's hard. Who was here?

Day 3: woke up, its daylight and bright in the house. I go to the kids room, maybe Rain showed up last night, maybe shes asleep. I walk in to see the kids asleep, but no Rain. I walk into her closet and I see stuff has been taken, shoes and clothes. I look for a toothbrush and it's gone. Perfumes, gone. Hmmm did Rain come last night to get her stuff ? I text Rain, now I'm mad. I'm frantically texting her that she better reply and I threaten to call ex husband. Oh? Guess what ? I got a reply. Interesting.

She texted something along the lines of: hey, its Rain. Sorry I haven't texted you. I'm having a rough time with S death. I need some time. I feel so lost. I'm with J at his place (J is her new boyfriend) . Are you ok to watch the kids, I'll be back. I'll text you.

My response: uh, well yea I mean I guess bit what should I tell them ? When are you coming back? Look, I know this is rough so I'll hang on to them until tomorrow, cool ?

I got no response after that, but at least I know she was ok. I updated mom and middle sister and we all felt better but were still shocked about how inconsiderate she was being.

Day 4: no text or phone call at all. We get the kids to school, pick them up, get homework done. Kids shower and go to bed. Her daughter who was maybe 7 or 8 at the time was worried. She was texting her too, I read her messages : mom, please come home. Where are you ?

I was so mad at this point. Her daughter was so worried and slept at the foot of the bed every night waiting for her mom. So Infuriating. I'm still exhausted and in pain.

I get a call from cousin in Florida, at around 10 pm which his time was 1am. He calls me and asks me what's going on? I had not yet told him what was happening so I was wondering what he was referring to. Rain had just called him. She was drunk out of her mind in DTLA in some bar, she was crying and yelling about how she Hates her life, how she Hates being a mom and Hates everything. Cousin told her to calm down and that he would call me to go pick her up in DTLA. We called her back on three way but cousin told me to be quiet. I listened to that mess for 30 minutes before I had to hang up. She was yelling and cussing, she told him NOT to tell me because I'm judgy ass bitch, wanna be perfect mom and I'll talk shit to her.

At this point, I'm over her. How can she do this to her kids? To me ? I'm over here, still freaking bleeding after my delivery, making sure her kids are safe and fed and loved. While she's out partying ? At bars ? I called cousin back and told him that I will not go get her in DTLA.

Day 5: I think this was a Thursday now, we had picked up the kids from school and went to shakeys pizza for dinner. No texts or calls from Rain all day. I was considering calling ex husband since the weekend was getting close. But, I remembered that he lost his weekend privileges for hitting the little boy. I didn't know what to do at this point.

Side note: little boy has behavior issues, he's been held back from kindergarten for his behavior and bad grades. He spit in his step moms face and ex husband hit him with a belt that left a mark. Rain took him to court to get full custody. He didnt lose the kids however, he had to attend parenting and anger management classes, which he did and his case was dismissed.

Day 6: no word yet. I texted her boyfriend and I told him to bring her home. I told him she has worried children. I asked him if he knew she has 2 kids at home. Want to know what his reply was?

Thank you for your concern.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONCERN !!! ??? Really?? A big fat Fuck You. I think at this point my blood pressure rose, I got heated and my neck started to pound. I cried out of frustration and sadness for my niece and nephew. I thought, what if I adopt them ? I thought about bringing them with me to AZ? Ex husband would fight me for them though. I called friends for advice. I asked middle sister for guidance. Everyone told me to report her to child protection services. But I couldn't because of the fear they would take the kids to a foster home. At that time I couldn't take them to my place. It was small and would not meet criteria for 2 extra kids. Nobody could take them if we needed. I prayed about it.

I had my finger in the phone ready to call CPS, but I couldn't do it. My mom begged me not to she begged me to continue to help with the kids until Rain got home. She told me we needed to help her, she was not ok. I didnt call them. I couldn't. I love those kids. I couldn't put them through that.

I texted Rain in one final attempt. I told her she needed to pick up her kids from school and if she did not then I was going to report her. No answer.

Turns out I didnt have to. Daughter spoke to a counselor at school and the school reported it. When Eli went to pick up the kids they did not release them to him, CPS was there. They called me shortly after and asked me what was going on. I explained to them. They called ex husband but since he couldn't take them at the time due to court restrictions they asked his parents to take them. His parents home did not meet criteria and they were taken to a foster care for the night.

I cannot begin to tell you how much I cried that night. I cried so hard. I was so mad. I was infuriated. How can she do this to them ? Did I fail them ? They must have been so scared. I had my new baby in my arms, breastfeeding and crying for those kids when I should have been enjoying every second with Olivia. I went home that night. I couldn't stay at my moms anymore.

Day 7: I wake up in a fog, still upset from the night before. I check my phone and I had a missed call from middle sister. I called her back and she tells me Rain was able to get her kids back last night from CPS and she is at home. How did that happen I ask ? Middle sister said that she thought I called CPS last night and told them it was all a misunderstanding and I was just upset about babysitting for a few hours.

What? I didn't call ...

Someone impersonated me. She had someone call pretending it was me ... that really scared me.

I called my mom and she said yes, Rain has the kids. CPS apparently asked my mom if this was true that Rain had been gone only for a few hours and my mom totally covered for her.

My mom reason behind it was because she doesn't want the kids to go to a foster home.

I didnt speak to my mom for 2 months after that call.

A couple days after that I received a text from Rain and she basically told me off and told me that she can't believe I reported her. I told to her that I did not make the call...but I should have. We completely blocked each other from everything. She told everyone we know, friends and relatives that I reported her. That's fine, I'll take it.

Get this though, this girl can't get it together to save her life. She has now lost custody of the kids to ex husband. After so much drama, her showing up late for drop offs and pick ups, showing up drunk, starting fights with new wife, picking kids up late from school ... ex husband documented everything and he got a video of her drunk at pick up. The kids now live with him in a house and are doing so well. They're so happy. They chose to live with dad. Oh and the things the kids told the judge, so sad. Apparently she doesn't even cook for them. She's allowed visitation every other weekend. She still lives with my mom, has NO job, no goals... she just parties and hangs out with that douch.

My mom was out of town when this court meeting happened and Rain lost the kids, so nobody actually heard why she lost them. Apparently she told mom that it was because of me, that the judge said MY NAME and that I wrote a letter or some bullshit. And my mom question me about it. First of all, so not true, they cant just use my name and say things without me being there, seriously. I wonder about my mom sometimes.

Ex husband allows me to talk to the kids whenever I want. He was the only person who thanked me for keeping his kids safe and loved. And yes he did ask me for help in taking the kids from my sister, but I said no. I decided to stay out of that.

That is something that I will never ever forgive my sister for. What she put me though, my family... and what she put her kids through. I'm not a perfect mom, not at all, but you just dont do that. And although I see her around at gatherings or holidays, we dont speak. She's not there, I completely ignore her. I go about my time with the family. I have a very strong set boundary with her and she knows it.

She knows that I didnt report her but she needs someone to blame. She cant accept her fault, but she knows. We know.