#its both selfish and selfless

[cinnabeat]

no tbh congrats to axel for basically raising two kids on his own like i think if they werent in the organization there wouldnt be nearly as much angst

[fate-defiant]

I can't believe they put my boy Mytho "does fucked up shit to himself because his entire identity and self image relies on being loved(in the right way by the right people)" and my girl Rue "does fucked up shit to everyone else because her entire identity and self image relies on being loved(in the right way by the right people)" togehter in the same show and never did anything to meaningfully juxtapose and explore All That

[sparring-spirals]

So. between

- Marisha explaining Laudna's feelings about her friends banding together to help her with the "no one wants to be anyone else's problem" "she was kind of everyone else's problem for a good minute",

- Sam talking about FCG's trepidation over realizing they're alive with "its more of a responsibility to be someone whose life matters" "it feels almost in a way, easier to take care of other people or think that that's your role in life",

there are some absolutely delightful themes and thoughts being explored this campaign that im very partial to and im so fucking thrilled but also like. hot damn. yowch. shit. too real

[im-smart-i-swear]

guy trapped in a hell of his own creation: haha ive never done anything wrong in my entire life. and im always right:] anyway. why did my little brother move out:(

its so funny to me that at first glance tashi seems like hed be the most 'normal' out of all the clones but at least all the others are slowly healing n shit while hes just getting more and more insane each day and one day hell snap and explode and maim someone

[dnangelic]

the thing about dark and daisuke's willingness to help is that instead of ever giving up they just get increasingly desperate. like they'll go so far to deny impossibility (and/or their own helplessness) that sometimes they'll start acting outright delusional. this is obviously especially present with daisuke given he's the one with a far more childish/expressive personality, (cue dark's don't be stupid!! from these pages specifically) but i always think it's really touching that he's still the sort of person to constantly say 'no, let me stay, there has to be something i can do, there has to still something i can do for them, what can i do to help them?' no matter how hopeless things seem.

[thisloveforyourmom]

the pearlrose tag is sure full of takes

[plant-cell-park]

hello underhero fandom i have been relentlessly thinking about the themes in this game again and how its always about the roles youre given in a story and how underhero is about these characters that break and sometimes actively resist their given role and how these people, these roles, they arent just what theyre assigned as: they're people, with personalities, hobbies, a name . god fuck im not ok this game still gets me its been a year

[ozymandiasdirge]

Season two Jimmy is so!! “I just finally decided to be me” *immediately gets called another name*, “no more Jimmy McGill esquire, like he never even existed” “I got into law for all the wrong reasons” “I’ve been trying to be what someone else wants me to be for I don’t know how long, first it was Chuck then it was you”, it’s like he knows he’s sinking, but has no fucking idea what being his own man actually entails

TRULY like i clown on jimmy a lot for being in denial a lot because...well look at the state of his emotional health for the first 50 years of his life. but like he really is capable of being like i feel like shockingly self-aware of his issues for small moments of time. its probably easy to forget because like...actually trying to come to terms with that would mean having to change and not change in the way that jimmy likes to change himself but like develop coping mechanisms for not being dangerously codependent with all of his closest relationships. so he can be self aware but not too self aware.

[volfoss]

Anyways um I do think house md had a very good ending and the people complaining it was bad don't understand the symbolism

[featherymuffink]

BDEF Elizabeth Afton is so funny because she is objectively the one Afton kid with the most functional childhood yet she is out there being Shiv Roy Succession 2.0

[mihotose]

im going on a date with josh's friend! is such an upsetting episode bc it was such a good date...... it was such a good date and they were getting along so well and then she ruined it and i dont even think she knows why she did it

[kaizokuou-ni-naru]

So. Hear 5. Nika. Loony Tunes Luffy, if you will. Tell us your thoughts on him and any potential meta? 👀 I’ve been aching to hear it from you since we first saw him go Full Silly Boy.

it's hard to answer this, because i have so many thoughts. i'm just going to try and start from the biggest points and move down.

i like gear five a lot, and i think this development feels very appropriate as a culmination of both luffy's character and the themes of one piece as a whole because of how it interacts with three extremely dominant motifs that have reoccurred throughout the story: freedom, laughter, and the sun.

from the very beginning of the story, luffy has acted, in small ways and big, as an agent of complete freedom. from his first meeting with coby to his breakout at impel down to the liberation of wano, what luffy does is destroy systems that control and oppress, if only because they are in his way. every strawhat is somehow trapped and held back from pursuing their own dreams when they meet luffy, and he frees them all, along with hundreds of others along the way, whether he's inspiring shirahoshi to venture outside or crushing yamato's manacles. his talent for this has always seemed almost preternatural.

luffy is not necessarily a benevolent person; he doesn't care much about helping people in the abstract. he's selfish. he values freedom for freedom's own sake, not because of any greater moral convictions. he doesn't think much about the negative knock-on effects of things like causing a mass breakout at impel down, and he doesn't really go around seeking out downtrodden and oppressed people to free out of a charitable or selfless instinct, nor does he really do anything because it's the right thing to do. he's dismissive of the idea that he might be a hero.

but because he is a completely uncontrollable free agent, and he doesn't really want anything but for himself and everyone he cares about to be completely free, he constantly collides with the systems of oppression that control his world, and when those collisions happen, it is the systems that fail, time and time again, because oppressive systems always do eventually. they can't withstand the light of day. and because he lives completely confidently and unapologetically, he is constantly inspiring others to do the same.

so by the time we are told about nika for the first time, we already know that what nika is said to do is what we've seen luffy doing for more than a thousand chapters: he frees people, and inspires them, and makes them laugh.

i also find luffy-as-nika to be very interesting and thematically appropriate when positioned in opposition to the various antagonists in one piece who have declared themselves to be gods, frequently some of its most tyrannical and oppressive villains- enel, the celestial dragons, doflamingo. all enslave and imprison people, robbing them of their freedom.

nika is a god of slaves, and a creature of liberation. the natural enemy, as rosinante might say, of that sort of megalomaniacal 'god.'

one piece has also consistently connected the theme of freedom, as embodied through luffy, with the sun since very early on. the sun pirates, former slaves, used the symbol of the sun to wipe away the brand of the celestial dragons. (and aren't i curious to know what jinbei might know about nika- he never did answer who's who's question about it.) the fishmen more broadly view the sun as something to be reached when they are truly free. on wano, the coming dawn is understood as the coming liberation. impel down and the florian triangle, places of indefinite imprisonment, are lightless dungeons where the sun doesn't reach. the sun is freedom.

and luffy has always been thoroughly sun associated, from the visual of his hat to his origin on dawn island in the east blue, to his ship, the thousand sunny.

finally, one piece has always placed a great deal of emphasis on smiles and laughter (laugh tale, joy boy, roger laughed, etc)- but that joy must be real. it can't be forced. we're told again and again, through koala, dressrosa's toys, and most obviously the victims of the failed SMILE fruits, that to force someone to smile, denying them the right to cry, is nothing less than an atrocity. people can't be forced to be happy- they should be happy because they're free.

luffy in gear five is laughing nigh-constantly, but it's just because he's having so much fun. unlike the victims of the SMILE fruits, his endless joy is genuine, because in this form, he is completely free- nobody can stop him, and nobody can control him. as he says himself, he can do whatever he wants.

i know that some people felt this moment was in some way a deus ex machina, but it just didn't feel that way to me, because of how well it plays on the story's established themes and trajectory, as well as concepts like devil fruit awakening having been established hundreds of chapters back.

luffy is the sun, the sun is freedom, freedom is joy. i think it makes total sense.

[ino-tamukas-baggy-sweater]

Third Times the Charm (Megumi Fushiguro x Reader)

so i was innocently scrolling through tumblr dialogue prompts and then i got sucker punched and my brain absolutely vomited this in like 2 hours flat, i hope you like it besties :) (reader's CT is described in the fic itself)

Warnings: just mild beginnings of a panic attack, unless of course you count Satoru Gojo Being A Little Shit™

Word count: 2.4k

Megumi Fushiguro. Both the brightest thing in your life, whilst simultaneously remaining effortlessly dark and brooding. An enigma, frustrating to the nth degree, but also one of the only constants that you could trust in this world. He would never leave you, he was selfless to the point of being selfish, always putting others before himself and making sure you were safe before he even considered what might happen to him.

It’s not like you were weak, you were no special grade but high second was respectable for someone your age, considering a Ten Shadows user and Ryomen Sukuna’s vessel were two of your three classmates. You’d grown up alongside Megumi at Jujutsu Tech, taken in by Principal Yaga and Satoru Gojo, being the only surviving member of your clan which had wiped itself out because of your grandfather’s self-destructive pride.

The L/n clan wasn’t a big clan, not like the Gojo clan or the Zenin clan, but your clan had passed down a pair of useful techniques that you had been lucky enough to inherit, making you a valued addition in the Jujutsu community. Your Misdirect technique allows you to leave a copy of yourself in your current location and move incredibly quickly and undetected to a second location, most commonly used for a quick escape, and limited to a maximum of 5 clones, six entities in total, each acting on their own will but all returning to the whole once killed or called back. Your second technique was something you hadn’t explored much, it’s a reverse cursed technique that allows you to specifically regrow limbs, organs, or chunks lost from the body for both yourself and others, known amongst your former clan as the Starfish technique.

Starfish is only limited by the person you are healing, because it requires you to tap into their energy and feed strings of their DNA information through your brain and back into their body. The process is gruesome, best witnessed on an empty stomach, and you thank whatever higher power you believe in that you haven’t had to use it yet.

Growing up alongside Megumi meant you were close, not quite siblings but nobody could refute the fact that you came as a pair. Wherever you could be heard, Megumi’s soft voice would follow, wherever your figure lit up a room Megumi would be your shadow, and conversely wherever Megumi needed to be, you had to go with him. You were the sunshine beside him, even if you were a bit shy around anyone that wasn’t Gojo or Yaga.

Even now, as he stood with his back to you in the chaos, he protected you from threats both imaginary and corporeal. The fight had gone a bit south as having something similar to your own technique wielded by a curse user and turned against you wasn’t something you had ever prepared for. You’d quickly become more of a liability than anything else, a danger to yourself and Megumi. Though the current situation was nothing he couldn’t handle, but Gojo had insisted on sending you along, and now you knew why. Even though the curse user had decided to take a break and seemingly lounge in the depths of Rabbit Escape, you were still lost in your mind, and Megumi drops to a knee beside your hunched form.

His thumbs link after he gives you a once-over, “Nue,” He grunts, and the bird manifests beside him, “Get her out of here, I can’t protect her and defeat that idiot,” The Shikigami turns to you, shaking out it’s feathers lightly before nudging you with its mask, cooing softly. You blink heavily, your tongue’s ability to function lost in your haze of panic as you grab handfuls of its feathers to pull yourself to your feet and eventually onto it’s back. Megumi only looks back to you for a moment as he dismisses the Rabbit Escape, but it’s enough that you catch a tinge of sadness in his gaze, “Be safe,” He mutters, brushing his hand over the top of your thigh before Nue leaps into the air, carrying you tirelessly back to Jujutsu Tech.

The sudden elevation did nothing to help your nausea and you buried your face against the softness of the space just between Nue’s wings until it finally came to a slightly awkward landing. “Y/n, where the hell is Megumi?” Gojo’s voice is the bare minimum of comfort you need in order to raise your head, Nue moving to preen itself as you slide from its back. “I’m just a fucking liability,” You grunt, refusing to look into that accursed blindfold. You can sense his disappointment, but he doesn’t falter when he reaches for you, pulling you into his chest, “You’re not a liability, I made a bad call sending you out without more information, now where is Megumi?”

You can hear Nue take off behind you and your fingers dig into his jacket, “H-he should be fine,” You murmur, “Now that I’m gone, he sent me away to protect me,” Gojo tilts his head and you can almost hear the gears turning in his head as he contemplates your shivering form. “Do you love him?” He suddenly asks. You must look like a fish the way your mouth opens and closes, searching for an answer. “O-of course I love him! We’re best friends, we grew up together, isn’t that a given?” He shrugs, “Just curious kiddo, no need to be defensive,” He steps back again, “I’ll let you know when he gets back, go get some sleep,”

The second time Gojo asks you a question about Megumi you’re even less prepared, riding off the terrifying adrenaline high of the Kyoto sister-school Goodwill Event. Admitted to Shoko’s medical wing alongside your fellow students, you find yourself gravitating towards Megumi as you always have, who is tentatively watching over an unconscious Inumaki leant against his side. You take note of the blood dripping lazily from Inumaki’s lips and you cringe, remembering the moment he used his technique to save his fellow students.

Megumi looks up only a moment later, reaching for you with his free hand, “C’mere,” He grunts, pulling you down onto the bench on his other side. Your thighs press together and he rests his cheek atop your head, “You've gotta stop scaring me like that,” You roll your eyes, “When has anything other than Gojo’s pure rage ever scared you? Come on,” You scoff. He frowns, looking down at you, “Seeing you in danger has always scared me,” He murmurs softly. He sounds hurt, you suppose you all are a little bit, but he sounds positively shattered, his eyes swimming with an emotion you now come to realise is pure terror.

It stuns you to silence, “I hate seeing you put yourself on the line like that, you gotta promise you won’t do that anymore, not for me,” He urges softly, nudging his nose against your forehead, “Got it?” You can only nod in reply, and a moment later Shoko’s voice shocks the pair of you from your bubble, asking Megumi to carry Inumaki to the examination room next door. Your heart hasn’t stopped pounding since the moment he grabbed you and at this rate it’ll take a lifetime to recover. “Y/n you’ve got that look again,” Or one interaction with Satoru Gojo. “Come on, you see the way he looks at you, what are you guys anyway?” He plops down beside you on the bench, lifting his blindfold and taking your hands to inspect the light lacerations on your skin and clothing left by that plant curse before Yuji and Todo tagged in.

Both adrenaline and fear were still flowing through your brain, you couldn’t find it in you to focus on anything let alone what Gojo had just asked you. You stayed silent, allowing him to just look at you, until he takes your chin between two fingers which forces you to look up into his eyes. You feel like a deer in headlights, trapped by his startlingly blue eyes, “You’re good kids,” He murmurs, “If you love him you should listen to him,” You just nod. You always nod, you’re a giver not a taker. “Y/n,” Megumi calls and you look to the side, seeing him leaning in the doorway, “You’re next, come on,” He holds out a hand for you to take and you’re drawn to him like he’s a singing siren.

His hand engulfs yours with a warmth you associate with love, the innocent kind of love that blossoms from shared knowledge and a bond stretching years into the past. You only look back at Gojo once before the door shuts between you, his blindfold repositioned over his eyes, but the signature smirk still plastered across his lips. Albeit just a little softer than it usually is.

The third time he asks is when it finally drives you crazy.

Things had been quiet in the aftermath of the exchange event, a fair few weeks had gone by and you’d only gotten closer to Megumi. His love language was not physical touch, not by a long shot, but he couldn’t seem to keep his hands off you if he was beside you. Whether his thigh was pressed up against yours at lunch, or he held your hand in public while Nobara held your other hand, or his head rested in your lap in the evenings as you watched movies with your fellow first years. He always seemed to seek some kind of physical connection with you, and this hadn’t gone unnoticed by Gojo. Nothing gets by his six eyes, not even his broody adopted son in all his attempts at subtlety.

You don’t even see him coming, so it makes you jump when he places a hand on your shoulder, shrieking lightly. “Jesus Gojo!” You hiss, smacking at him with the back of your hand. He’s evidently let his infinity down for a moment just to let you have the satisfaction of hitting him, “I could be Jesus yes, what an astute observation! This is why you’re my favourite student,” He nudges you with his elbow as the pair of you stand watching Yuji and Megumi sparring on the school field. Nobara left a few minutes ago to order takeout for dinner, the sun setting in the summer sky above, casting a soft orange glow on Megumi’s face. “Seriously, what is the deal with you and Megumi,” He asks bluntly, “Are you dating? Have you kissed? What’s going on?” Your eyes don’t stray from Megumi’s form as you reply, “Oh no, no way, we’re not going there today,” You declare, “We’re just friends and that’s all we’ll ever be,”

He angles his head down, shaking it as he leans into your space, “Now now, you and I both know that’s not true, why don’t you just try? You’ve got nothing to lose,” You take a step to the side, increasing the distance between your sensei and yourself as you let out a breath. Megumi and Yuji have finished sparring, the dying sunlight making them both look ethereal, but it’s always been Megumi at the centre of your attention. “Yuji! Can I talk to you for a second?” Gojo calls out and the boy nods eagerly, racing up and following your teacher as the taller man slings an arm over his shoulder. Traitor. You glare silently, but your anger dissipates quickly, turning to Megumi as he wipes his face with a towel, gulping from his bottle. “Yuji gets stronger every day, I’m glad he holds back when sparring,” He says, the soft rasp of his voice making you feel warm.

“Megumi can I ask you something?” You say, sitting down just to the side of where he rests his foot on the bench, retying his shoelaces. “Yeah, what’s on your mind?” He brushes his fingers past your thigh and you wonder for a moment if he’s doing it on purpose, before pushing through the distraction, “What are we?” He falls still for a moment, “What do you mean?”

You shift until you’re straddling the bench, bringing one foot up so you can rest your chin on your knee, “I don’t know, Gojo won’t stop pestering me, and he keeps asking if I love you,” He tilts his head, letting his foot drop to the ground before sitting on the bench himself, elbows rested on his knees. “Well, do you?” He asks quietly. You look down at the grass, breathing softly through your nose, “Well of course I do,” You murmur, “You’re one of my closest friends, I’ve always loved you,” He lets his head hang down, “Yes but do you love me, Y/n?” He presses, turning to face you and matching your bench straddle. You drop your knee in surprise and he places his hands heavy on your thighs, making your skin tingle as he grips you through your pants, “Does your heart race as mine does? Is there a place for me in your heart?” He murmurs.

You feel like a fish again, unable to reply with your mouth hanging open slightly, but you nod, swallowing nervously, “Megumi,” You sigh, “You’re everything to me,” You reach a trembling hand out and cup his cheek, stroking with your thumb, “I train as much as I can so I can be as strong as you one day and be able to protect you in the same way you’ve protected me,” He smiles softly, something you see so rarely you want to stay in this moment forever, “Oh Y/n, as long as you live my life has meaning,” He whispers, “There’s no need for you to stress yourself, I’ll always find my way back to you, even if that means I have to walk through hell,”

His lips are soft as they find yours, the sunlight finally surrendering to twilight, the time of day you most associate with Megumi. You lean into him, your free hand placed on the bench between you to prevent an awkward fall, legs spread as far as they’ll comfortably go to get closer to one another. The kiss is sweet, he tastes like the powdery candy Yuji bought earlier in the week and you tease his lips with your tongue and teeth eagerly. A soft chuckle as he brings his hand up to the back of your head, your mouths falling open and tongues exploring one another in tandem.

“FUSHIGURO! GET YOUR TONGUE OUT OF HER THROAT YOU PIG!” Nobara’s voice makes the pair of you break apart, cheeks flushed and lips tingling as the girl moves to close the distance, “I LEAVE YOU ALONE FOR TEN MINUTES!” You giggle softly as Megumi rubs the back of his neck, “Don’t act surprised, you knew this was coming,” He says, dropping his hand and linking his fingers with yours. He looks into your eyes and you know in that moment everything is as it should be, at least for a while.

Thanks for all the love on the last two fics I posted, I'm hopefully going to be writing one every few days, i've got a lot of free time on my hands right now and I'd love some requests or some random prompts if anybody is keen on sending me any :)

also I'm thinking of doing a '7 days until the new year' kind of series, with a different prompt for each day and maybe small blurbs, like one for every jjk character I write for and then all posted at once, but I'll see where I get to with the fics I'm currently working on

Post dividers from @cafekitsune

[kelocitta]

In honor of the @rw-ship-showdown I wanted to write about Artihunter as someone who jokingly slapped them together pre-downpour and still thinks they are actually very compelling. Just not in the super soft love wins kinda way (Although I get why people like that more) And the only way I know how to do that is talking too much so heres a far too long slug essay-

Obviously the slugcats don't offer a ton of characterization but theres not nothing to work with. Their stories, whether by their roles in it or the overarching themes do provide a backbone to work with. Even gameplay itself can provide a bit. (for some more than others) Hunter, to me, is ultimately a story about selflessness. The goal is to revive Moon, which is very much an act of kindness from both Hunter and NSH. But the weight of that action is much more significant for Hunter- Hunter is deeply sick. They're on the clock, and for all their skill in combat none of that will ultimately help them to survive longer than their body can hold out. Moon is a close friend of NSH but that means little Hunter- Hunter really gets next to nothing out of helping them, and ultimately pays quiet a bit spending their limited time alive fighting to deliver that neuron so that someone else can live.

To spend ones limited days on helping another, in a game that very much stresses the unwavering cruelty of the world and nature- is pretty notable. (And you could even say that Hunter being the Hardmode of Rain World adds another layer to this)

And then we have Artificer. A storyline that very much stands out to people as more… villainous (so to speak) than the other slugcats. Artificer's story covers a lot of things. Trauma, violence, revenge, etc. Revenge is a bit of a selfish desire- That need to see someone hurt as they have hurt you. A punishment that ultimately does not fix whatever harm was done- but feels good to see because you were hurt and now those responsible share that pain.

Artificer's actions are founded in that need for revenge, their pups killed for overstepping boundaries they didn't know existed. Is it not fair for them to be angry at that, to punish the scavengers for their violence with their own? Why should the scavengers ever be forgiven when they and their pups were not? And that's how you get that loop- Harm for harm over and over.

The original action has been lost in a spiral of violence for violence. And here stands Artificer- their very spirit scarred. Not just because they sought revenge, but because they never ceased trying to scratch that itch for violence as an answer. Artificer only has two paths for their story- killing the scavenger king (Someone who, really, has little to do with the original 'crime' of the scavengers, but represents an important individual to them- as did the slugpups to Artificer), locking themselves as karma one for good and spending the rest of their life chasing creatures that no longer even fight back in a warped sense of closure- or to dissolve themselves in the acids of the void sea because they're too far gone to find any real peace.

They can't meaningfully recover from that state, not alone, twisting in on themselves. Even if they halt their actions, they've been using violence as a feeble defense against their own pain- violence that no longer has any real direction or basis. Artificer gets no real closure from killing the scavenger king. All they can do is continue the cycle, or try to scrub it away. No real peace in a prison of their own making. So you have a creature, who even with a strict timer on their life- a body that will crumble to disease, spends its last bit of time on saving another. And another who was so caught up in the pain of loss that were eaten alive by their own anger, poisoned their own soul on such a deep level even self-proclaimed gods have no solution for them. What peace can they offer each other? For Hunter, its only a fleeting moment of happiness- of selfish love, before their own body fails them. A bit of indulgence in something for themself. For Artificer, its a single, comforting thread to ground them again, something tangible to protect and care about again. But thats a thread that will ultimately be snapped under the cruel indifference of the world. Hunters timer will tick down regardless of if it takes another with it. Its a tragedy- its doomed to end badly. Whatever good it offers to either of them to find each other will only provide the fleeting comfort of a band-aid that will be ripped away too early. But all that can be worth indulging in anyway, if only for the moment. It doesn't change the ending, but the ending was never going to be happy. Its can so yuri

[shinjisdone]

*sigh* that time of the year again where I brielfy obsess over Alucard from hellsing ah shit here we go again

Random Alucard thoughts (also he is totally yandere)

TW: Huge yandere behavior, mentions of murder, torture, vampirism, blood, extreme possessiveness, obsession, crossing boundaries, belittling, mind games, Alucard fully sees himself as your monster, hints at Alucard's true identity and past, everything is in random order according to my brainrot

Vlad "Alucard" Tepeş is 100%, absolutely, with zero doubt a Yandere. It's proven, it's real, he is one, do not argue with me look at him from any angle, it is yandere.

He had long embraced the title and flesh of a monster. He is selfish, twisted and full of bloodlust. His life as a true vampire consists of short bursts of pleasure, of getting that kick of almost being killed. Battling with a "man" who can kill a "monster". Yet he is so powerful that no one can come close to put him in his well-deserving grave. A shame.

Besides Integra and Seras, its the only thing he lives for. To meet the end by the hands of a human.

Hence why he, ironically, is very drawn to humans and humanity in general.

He respects bravery, wit and the want to be human and stay so no matter what. A steadfast knowledge of who you are. So you'd have to have all that for him to pay positive attention to you.

He has seen and lived through the worst of it. Not once a taste of love or kindness but only the wretched side of humanity that it can offer.

He can offer it all back...but not love. For love is pure and good and he is not and never was. Love is for humans. Monsters can only "love" in much darker ways...

And if you are the one thing that intruiges him so much, he might smother you in his twisted love.

Of course, you do not need to be a mortal to become his obsession. But for the sake of diving into his psyche, to really see how....unhinged this creature is, let us go with that 👀

A creature of the night is always interested in humans. How one particurarly thinks and acts, what they believe in, whether they have cowardice or courage in their hearts. Many are the same but a lot of them prove themselves to be more and worthy of his attention.

You'd have to have something to begin that spark of interest. Power, knowledge, strength of character whatever it is, it should be enough to interest a vampire but not deter him away from you from striving away from your humanity. Casting it aside makes you a fool in his eyes.

Then - there has to be that humanity inside you. Not the ugly and candid one he knew all his life as a count but this...fleeing beauty. The seldom joy and kindness. Love for another being all because you simply chose to.

Not because this person fought for your love, sacrificed for your love, impaled your enemies - but because you chose to share love.

How human.

Interesting yet...perhaps weak. Or is it strength? Can you cast it all aside when you do gain enemies that want your head?

Besides, when you are in Hellsing, you do tend to be messed up. Integra, Seras and Walter are no different in their own way and how can you still carry an ounce of selflessness in a place like this with how you are? Can you be selfless when you fight?

A part of him wants you to succumb to the rage, this oh so human rage but...once you cave, it is hard to get back up. Alucard would rather have you stay the way you are.

The beginning is slow but already startling...

The longer he watches, the more intriguied he becomes. And once this humanity of yours touches him, it is all over.

With Integra, he is loyal. With Seras, he is patient. Both women have gained his respect through their courage and boldness, as well as their will power for what they believe in.

But you? You have nothing to gain from the Hellsing hound. If he wanted you dead, you'd be so long ago. You are already protected from his power (as long as Integra says so and Seras is not endangered) so what do you think you are doing, little human, sharing an ounce of love with him?

Don't you know that monsters cannot love?

Yet still, he feels a tightness in his chest. There, deep within where his heart is supposed to reside, is a dark yet darker, deep yet deeper black hole, an abyss of all that he is now as Alucard - still, the tightness is there and slowly spreads through his limbs as warmth.

It is different than the bolts of bloodlust that spark and jolt within him. It is slower and graduate. Calm like the sea in the morning fog. It is so interesting that he allows himself to indulge in more.

You foolish human.

You will see the error of your ways. Will see how this creature of the night's darkness will twist and turn into an admiration that is sick, an infatuation that looks down on you yet worhsips you at the same time, an adoration that is deadly. Love does not exist within the being that is called Alucard. It is too pure and good for a monster like him.

Know that it will take a long and enduring time for something like that to blossom. But if your actions are consistent, it will certainly happen - your doom.

It begins mellowly.

His constant presence when allowed to have some free time, the unblinking gaze and the everlasting smile. Alucard always smiles around you.

He tends to talk a lot more with you. Asking you questions of your views to gain more and more knowledge about you, to understand you as a human and how you tick. He greedily sucks in any kind of information that makes you, you. The mortal he fell for.

For you are simply too fascinating not to know more of.

It happens through interrupting your own free time, your privacy (he just goes through the walls) and your boundaries. He doesn't mean any harm, quite the opposite, so why do you become so hostile?

Are you not on the same side as Hellsing?

In battle, he enjoys protecting you. As if it was a hard task or would get in the way of the objective - putting a bullet through a threat or biting their head off is easy and fun. He's keeping you, his favorite and most interesting mortal, safe. He can't have you killed, for who else is as unique as you and could ever replace you?

It's gruesome and he shows no remorse in how you feel on such a vile display. He will not ever admit it but his actions speak louder than words and you will notice, very soon, that he focuses a lot on your safety - while gleefully slaughtering so-called "dogs".

Any kind of acts of love are your doom...

It is only when you act so humanely even further with him that things go down.

Alucard watches you in your sleep but dares not touch you. His grotesque hands do not know how to caress and care. It's unfamiliar, too unfamiliar for him to simply begin. He stares and watches, observes and grins and comments, bows and gestures and overdoes everything but he does not touch you. He does not know how.

Yet one night, when you are not asleep but admiring the moon, he comes to you.

Makes it seem like a coincidence even when it is part of his nightly routine to see you. You talk but not dare bring up his odd behaviour towards you. Instead, he listens before Alucard slowly gets lost at the sight of you and his hand gently lowers to your head.

It does not matter if you show no fear or maybe jump and whimper at his touch - all that matters is that you let him touch you. Him, Alucard, the true, great vampire and nightwalker. A creature of the night so great that nothing can harm him but he certainly can bring torment to you - yet you let him touch you.

It is the first in millennia that he ever found himself putting a hand on something he does not wish to kill. His hand engulfs your head, fingers run through your hair and his thumb caressing the underline of your eyes. A hand that could crush your skull, fingers and thumb that could dug into your eyesocket and you let it all happen. It serves as some kind of evidence, at least to him, that he can...do something he did not ever think he could.

It would bring even more meaning to it (or perhaps mockery to the injury) when you accept his touch by putting your hand over his. You can say whatever you want, feel whatever you want but actions speak louder than words and here, right now, you allow a monster to caress you and do not reject it by taking its hand.

You...beautiful human.

You...foolish human.

What are you doing? What have you done?

How can you expect Alucard to forget this and you?

He did not forget the armies, the ottomen, the vampires and ghouls, or Integra's father because all they did was inflict unforgettable pain.

And now, he cannot ever forget you because you touched him with love - whether you liked it or not.

Whether you see it like him or not.

It doesn't matter.

Alucard won't forget. Won't cast aside the new light he now sees you in.

Brave. Steadfast. Aware. Kind. Fragile. Naive. Weak. Loving.

What a truly beautiful night it is indeed.

Blood spills for you...

The damage is done and tenfold at that, too.

Alucard won't try to hide these...emotions he bears no longer and will not care what Integra and Seras will have to say. For how could they fight against a monster's nature?

He endears you with new names. He does so with many in an rather ironic way to describe them in a way he knows them best. But you get many pet names.

'My Dear' is a classic and most used. 'My Darling', ' my beloved' and even 'my little human'. There will always be that possessiveness that he bears oddly proudly. Of course you are his in a way. He cannot really claim you as his but maybe he can let himself be yours in a twisted way. No matter how you feel about him though, you will always be close to his non-existend heart - and in his non-existend heart you do belong to him. His dear, his darling, his beloved, his little human.

Though he will also mostly use a nickname that either describe your appeareance or personality at best - something that encaptures the you.

Any kind of physical appeareance will be endearing to him and called out in a rather...mocking way. Just to get a rise out of you. Alucard does love to see your reactions.

But how he really feels is shown through his nicknames for you based on your personality. Your actions and quality of character.

It would be...rather painfully ironic that would stir him to guffaw like a madman if any nicknames were somewhat...connected to his past life. Like to seek the sight of an angel.

How absurd. The one thing he has fought for and then abandonded at the fear of dying...and now, an angel appears before him.

How maddening.

Names like angel or queen would be highly amusing to him in his own mind (its an inside joke, u wouldnt get it) and Alucard would call you these things with a chuckle or two to the point where you wonder if he is mocking you. However, that is far from the truth. The irony makes him laugh but that never undermines how he truly feels about you. An angel that deserves to be treated like a queen - that also should be besides him, the no life king.

Alucard is also very verbal of his..."affection" for you. Often compliments but also belittles you, during and outside of battle.

"You think this meager weapon will help you? How adorable."

"What a wonderful night to meet you here, my dear. It's always a pleasure to see you."

"No, I do not mock. I am simply enjoying your little human naivete. It is so precious that I just have to indulge in it. Please, go on, and never let anyone take that quality of yours away."

"Why, how could I ever say no to such a beautiful human? The scent of your blood lured me in, like a sweet lullaby."

With enemies he is especially possessive if you are there/are spoken of.

Any filth and maggot that dares speak your name deserves to die. They think they know you, they think they are better and stronger than you just because they have turned themselves inhuman.

They couldn't be more wrong.

"My darling is a braver and far superior being than your pathetic selves could ever be. So don't you dare speak so foolishly of them or its off with your tongue."

"Oh? You think you can talk to my dear like that and live? Hehehe...a dog like you needs to be pummeled! That human belongs to me!"

He will not mind you hearing all this let alone witness the torment he brings onto these fools. In fact, he enjoys it.

Watch him tear down all those that mock and hurt you, mere insects that are nothing! Nothing compared to you!

Alucard loves to be verbal and scream out for them to beg for mercy that he will never show. He loves torturing them in your name. It is what a monster does. Somewhere in the back of his twisted mind it is a sign of devotion to you that he would slaughter all those that dare proclaim themselves to be your enemies. And if they do, it just gives him the excuse to he more brutal than he is usually.

He also gets a kick in having you watch. Watch, watch, watch! Watch, how a monster tears down the flesh and skin of an weakling all for you! This is what a monster is, dear! See it, hear it, have the stench of blood be ingrained into your mind and senses! See if you can still be human around a monster like him! If you would still show love and kindness to a monster like him!

It's a weird game to test you on one hand, merely because he is curious. Would you still show some kindness to him after all this? He wonders as he thrusts his arm into the enemy's heart.

Nevertheless, he mostly does it because he enjoys killing for you. It's what monsters do.

Love does not exist...

The man and his intentions are obvious. To his master, his fledgling and you.

When approached by any of the three, Alucard chuckles, eerily, and nonchalantly admits his infatuation.

Why, yes, master, the human of this mansion has caught his eye and dead heart. Truly something special they are, wouldn't you agree?

Of course, police girl, will he make sure nothing happens to his darling human. Did you ever think otherwise? Ridiculous.

And when you finally talk to him, Alucard sits there on his throne, quiet before he chuckles again. It grows into cold laughter as he rather indirectly admits it. Why, don't you like the attention he gives you? Him, the no life king? Hellsing's hound? A monster?

Don't you appreciate all that he has done for you? He does so gladly, you know. Anything to make his little human safe and sound, showered in his affection and his alone.

No matter if his strokes are cold and his breath reeks. If his presence is unwanted and you are unaware of his watching eye.

The Vampire feels free to tell you all that he thinks of you - your strength, your character, your beauty, your quirks, weaknesses that are endearing, your humanity.

Yes, dear! Darling! Beloved! Angel! Royalty! Liege!

Yes, this monster adores you! Worships you! Is infatuated with you! You have his dead heart in your hands! His power!

However...not ever will and can Alucard say that he loves you. A monster can be obsessed. A monster can be infatuated. Worship that he cannot have, admire and adore the thing he looks down upon. But a monster does not know "love". It has no soul, no heart. Nothing to sacrifice and be selfless with. Alucard is the complete opposite.

Whatever his emotions may be, they are selfish.

He may admit that, too. That he cannot love. It's simply something impossible, he believes.

He agrees with you, that what he feels is not love. Love...he never knew it. Only the good and the pure can love. He never was either.

But know that this will never stop him.

Whatever you may feel...it doesn't matter in the end. Alucard will continue to be selfish and "love" you in the only way he knows how.

Whatever will you do, human?

On that note, Alucard fully does not expect you to accept him let alone love him.

It's understandable. Just as a monster cannot love in general, a human cannot ever grow to love a true monster.

Parts of him will never change. His desire to destroy and for power, as well as his bloodlust. The regret he feels. He can change but those parts can never be lovable enough to be...normal.

He is aware of it all so he's also fine with this one-sided obsession. He is content with being your freak of nature.

Additionally, the man...enjoys the whole ordeal of you two being the Beauty and the Beast. A twisted version of it. You, a pure, beautiful human cursed and haunted by your bloodthirsty beast. The protection, the loving gestures, gifts left for you to find (all flowers with thorns), the ghostly arms wrapping around you in the dead of the night, the sweet nothings that are incantations of curses, the many eyes watching you, the over-the-top exclamations of adoration...all from your filthy, filthy beast.

All because you showed it an ounce of humanity that it couldn't have.

Now, you are all his.

[mymarifae]

every time someone says "an should have been vbs's leader" or "saki should have been leo/need's leader" i want to . slam my head through concrete. oh you missed the point so bad

1. the "leader" thing is kind of really fucking insignificant outside of where each group's story begins and promo materials. it doesn't mean one character is the "main character" of the group. project sekai doesn't HAVE a main character in the first place it's not that kind of story. each individual character is equally important to not only their group's story but the over-arching story of the whole game

2. leo/need's story begins with ichika because she is ultimately the one that brings them all back together. not saki. it is ichika's determination and frankly stubbornness that gets through to shiho and honami. like, saki was literally ready to give up on reconnecting with honami! (out of love and respect for her choices but like) if she was the focus leo/need would have been honami-less!! but ichika refuses to let it go. much like she refused to let go of their friendships throughout all of middle school.

when the story begins, we see ichika burnt out and hopeless. but that's only after years of trying and trying and trying and trying again to reconnect with shiho and later honami. this fandom does not understand ichika's character well . she's not meek and she doesn't back down easily she's not some like... fumbling "girlflop" she's incredibly driven and strong-willed. she lost some of that due to depression and isolation but as of leo/need's most recent arc ender she has pretty much regained her fiery spirit. she's leo/need's lead singer and MC for a reason

3. vivid bad squad's story opens with kohane because she's the only one who hasn't grown up/partially grown up on vivid street. if an or akito had been the "leader" we would have lost the magic of getting to know vivid street and its people and unique culture. it's all average every day life for them, but kohane is experiencing it all for the first time. it's only through her eyes that the audience can understand just how very special vivid street is

4. one more thing: you could say that the "leaders" represent the themes of each group and the general direction of their story arcs. vivid bad squad, among several other things, is all about improvement and growth and overcoming challenges and creating something new and finding a place to call home within a community. who better to represent that but the socially anxious newbie who never felt like she belongs anywhere and would never do anything with her life?

leo/need is about love and the ability to endure all hardships and preserve that love . it's about having a heart big enough to hope for the impossible and the willpower to make it reality. ichika, in all her hard-headed stubborn painfully persistent glory, is perfect for that.

similarly, mafuyu isn't nightcord's leader because nightcord is ultimately about healing. hope. finding a way to make life worth living again. these aren't paths he would have chosen on his own. he gave up on himself a long time ago. as did ena and mizuki, in their own ways. the best person to represent hope is the one who refuses to give up on anyone and stubbornly believes she can save them all

wonderlands x showtime is about moving forward to a brighter future and not letting the past keep you shackled in place. it's also about having lofty dreams and the selfishness to pursue those dreams. both of these things are why emu Isn't wxs's leader; she lacks that selfishness (i'm not using this word in a negative sense btw; i think being selfish can be a good thing. and sometimes being selfless is a bad one) tsukasa (and rui) has, and she often clings to the past.

and as far as more more jump and all their own themes of hope and never giving up go, of course their leader has to be minori. she brought three disillusioned, jaded ex-idols hope and reignited their passion! she's the walking embodiment of hope itself