#its fucking frog friday

[theblehthatbloos]

You know, it's frog Friday

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[ad-astrah]

Finally Watched Cinderella's Castle Digital Ticket (Twice) and I Gotta Get My Feelings Out Somewhere, Somehow (Part I)

Feel free to light up my DMs to chat about it!

And now, for my personal highlights/live reactions:

immediately I'm drawn in by Nick Lang's silly narrator voice and the way he warns us of what's coming. Especially the "muRrrDder!"

Jeff Blim cut his hair. JEFF BLIM CUT HIS HAIR. Not that I didn't like the long locks, but something about his Aladdin Era short hair gets me, man.

Jeff Blim literally getting to own the stage like the man was born to

Jeff Blim's slutty bard getup with the artfully messy hair and the heavy guyliner. That sinful bastard.

"Let's go." I'll follow you anyway, slutty bard.

Okay 80s rock jam! Hell yes.

idk why but I just love the line "There are tales in those walls, are they true or are they tall?"

THIS SET, THO. 80s vibes. Muppets vibes. Princess Bride vibes. Spooky, ethereal fairytale vibes. I love it! Props to the team who designed and built it.

prance, slutty bard boy, prance around that stage.

Jesus Fuck, I've only seen Joey's puppet but I'm already SOLD. Nick and Matt Lang and whoever else had a hand in making these puppets fucking OUTDID themselves! Did they use the Black Book and resurrect Jim Henson?

Throughout the show, the muppet vibes just absolutely amaze and delight me. Makes me feel like a little kid, spellbound by this fairytale. Except it's much darker, more gruesome, way more explicit, and extremely horny.

Oh look, it's Joey's Jingle/Jangle (whichever elf he was) voice from Black Friday.

Love me some o' dat non-binary representation from Ragweed. Starkid once again screaming GAY RIGHTS bitches.

I'm getting some of Jeff's Aragog from AVPS in this Narrator. Anyone else?

Stupid STUPID butcher!

Jon Matteson's accent. *giggles madly*

Angela IMMEDIATELY having to pause for applause before she finishes her first freaking line. The queen deserves it all, though.

The foreshadowing of the Stepmother cutting off Ella's feet. O_O

"It's furryyyyy and fouuuuul and full o' maGOTTTSSaaaaaggghhhh!"

Angela doing the little spinny finger thing in a guy's face to fluster them just like Max did to her character in Nerdy Prudes. I love these physical running gags. My fave being the Smoke Club, though.

OIIIINK oinkoinkoinkoinkoinkoink

Sir Preston asking for help from the audience. His "ELLAaaaaa....nooooo....."

The lighting in this entire show is SO COOL.

Again, Jeff just louging like a whore about the set like its his bitch. I live for it.

James' COSTUME. He looks SO FUCKING GOOD. Props to the costume folks...and to James' rockin' genes.

"But nothing compares to the juice and the hairs..." Oh no. Ohhhhh no I see where this is going. Don't say it, James, don't-- omg he said it.

er ee er ee er ee *window rolling down*

I thought the Prince drawing bewbies on the frosty window was funny already, and then he goes WAH WAH WAH and pretends to pinch them and I fucking lost it.

The Prince checkin' out DAT AZZZZZZ XD

"I'd wager she's wetter now than when I first found her bobbing in the river." OH MY GOD. PRINCE. THAT'S HER NOT-MOM.

If his highness has had every STD and beaten it, that's so fucked up but also damn, that boy's immune system is killin' it. Literally.

"Poor mad EllaAH"

"This is one thirsty FUCKING house." For real, omg.

"The offer stands firm. Come calling if you are!" *screams*

Jeff miming being crew and pulling the ropes for the curtains.

*audience member sneezes* "Bless you."

Angela's diction is next fucking level. PUNY. PINK. KIND.

The epic troll reveal! The puppets are SO GOOD.

THE FROG FUCKING TURNING AWAY AS SHE ASKED FOR IT TO DO SO SHE COULD KILL IT. CHRIST.

This bayou boogie song of Ella's is an absolute KILLER BOP. Holy shit. And it's SO perfect for Bryce's funky, sassy voice.

Speaking of which, BRYCE'S VOCALS. I'm gonna scream about them for forever and ever and ever. I love her voice SO FUCKING MUCH. I could listen to nothing else for the rest of my days and die a happy little gay.

"ohhhh woah woah waohhh" *flips the bird* She's such a queen for that.

"It needs oregano" WORK BITCH

Bryce's stage presence is fucking INSANE. I dunno how she's not on Broadway, but thank goodness we got her!

SIRE MANY TADPOLES!

GOD I love this absolutely depraved, horny little bastard of a prince.

It's amazing Tadeus hasn't murdered the prince yet. The man deserves a medal for the literal shit he's put up with.

Bugette?! I thought you choked on shit died and were consumed by the Hive Queen?

Rancilda being a typical troll and loving lurking under bridges and telling riddles.

Schuyler Sister vibes from the song with Justine and Lucy. So cute.

Justine and Lucy are SUCH real ones for IMMEDIATELY believing Ella about her family being trolls and for saying "fuck the ball, we're leaving NOW."

Shake dat ass, Mariah!

Lauren's physical comedy as Rancilda is NEXT LEVEL. I'm wheezing over here!

iSNn'tT it A BiiIItTcH?!

I LOOK GOOD IN THIS. What an absolute fucking BANGER. This song is gonna play in my head on repeat for the next decade. What a next level villain song.

Also this gives me some strongass Joan Jett vibes. "I love wearin' the skin of dead girls rock 'n' roll!"

and I hEEeaARr yoU'Re RiiiCCHhH

Seriously, is this the next Top Chart breakup revenge song? It should be.

"I really LIKE that song!" XD Putrice. I love how much of an absolute BIMBO she is.

Rancilda singing the song again. "SHUT UP STUPID BITCH, THE SONG'S OVER." "Okaaaaiiii"

Matt Dahan's ability to riff off the main songs and create motifs is otherworldly.

General MacNamara? Is that you?! Oh wait, nope. Still my slutty, slutty bard.

I LOOOOOOOVE this badass electric guitar intro, holy shit.

Kim Whalen, the queen, getting the bitchin' entrance she deserves.

Starkid is so, so good at their sound design to help immerse you in a scene without blowing a big budget or doing anything elaborate.

...Kim. My girl. Your arms must be tired.

She's just standing there, but Kim's stage presence is still so strong.

I can't get over how Jon's Sir Hops-A-Lot's voice is just a small...ahem. Hop, skip, and a jump away from Wiggly's.

JOEY. THAT ACCENT. You ABSOLUTE genius idiot. I love you for this stupidass voice.

Joey's bowl cut makes me giggle like mad.

I love these two puppets SO much.

GIT IT, KIM.

The call and response bit with Ella and the Goddess reminds me of Hamilton when Washington is dictating his Farewell Address. I know it's gotta be in other musicals, too, but that's the clearest comparison for this nerd at the moment.

Jeff sneaking in the "castle on a hill" song reference in this song.

Kim and Bryce dueting together is just Power incarnate. Holy cow. It's so good.

"You shall be as radiant and terrible as I." Ooooooh. Yes. Gimme.

The Narrator sneaking out from amidst the ensemble to finish off the song was really neat.

That fading spotlight before curtain for intermission with just Ella's face in view is so beautiful and haunting. What an epic close to Act I.

Also, it seems like this was also a strategic way to imply Ella's outfit being transformed there on stage during the song without actually having to do the tricky costume designing quick-change theater miracles of an ACTUAL outfit transformation. Which is really brilliant. Leave the audience to wonder until post-intermission about what Ella's starlight dress will look like.

[brahmsthirdracket]

another little fic from bits of ancient and unfinished google docs - baby lando and max f

2008 

“Hey bug,” Jon doesn’t need to look up from where he’s holding Oli’s kart steady to sense Lando’s presence, “You okay?”

Lando’s quiet for long enough that Jon does look up then, takes in his small, damp figure, the way he’s fiddling with the zip on his jacket.

Jon straightens up.

“You didn’t wanna hang out with those kids?” He can see them through the driving rain on the other side of the car park, roughhousing under one of the other marquees. 

Lando shakes his head, leans his whole body against Jon’s in an unspoken request for comfort. Jon pulls him in for a cuddle.

“Well you can help me then, yeah? Teach me how to be a mechanic?”

He doesn’t let go until he feels a nod against his chest, and Lando blinks up at him with a weak smile.

For all that Lando follows Jon around like a lost puppy in the garage, once he’s pulled his helmet on, it’s all business. Jon’s not sure he’ll ever get used to how fucking good the kid is. 

On the ferry back to Portsmouth Lando trots after Jon out onto the wet, windy deck instead of whacking the buttons on the fruit machines in the lounge with the other kids. 

The deck is practically deserted this time of year, the other passengers taking refuge in cheap pints and chips laced in salt and vinegar. 

They huddle into their raincoats and lean against the railing. Lando’s got the little green frog sporting a striped Breton shirt and beret that had Jon fished out of the bargain bin in the onboard duty free and shoved over the counter with a Snickers and pack of smokes. Lando’s whole face had scrunched up in surprised joy when Jon handed it to him with a Nice work this weekend.

He watches now as Lando gives it a little kiss and tucks it carefully down the front of his raincoat with its froggy face sticking up over the zip. It’s strange, Jon supposes, an adored child of a multimillionaire, in raptures over a cheap toy.

They lean against the railing in companionable silence, content to let the thrum of the ship’s engine and the fine mist of drizzle wash over them.

“Jon?”

“Hmm?”

“Will you be with me forever?”

Jon looks down at him, at his sweet, earnest face, half-hidden by his hood and the frog. His eyes are the same colour as the churning sea and sky.

Jon, shrugs, doesn’t say Until I get a better job than performance coaching nine-year olds. 

“S’long as you need me, bug.”  

“Cool,” says Lando. He turns his face up into the rain and closes his eyes. “We’re gonna win a World Championship then.”

2009 

True to his word, Jon drives down to Glastonbury for the first weekend of the offseason. He sets off while it’s still dark; stops for fuel and bitter, petrol-station coffee that he downs in two, burning gulps somewhere near Dudley, and turns off the M5 just as the sun is coming up over the rolling Somerset hills. 

It’s only been a month or so since he last saw Lando, but it still feels like something’s shifted since Jon started uni. He wonders, again, if he’s out of mind for agreeing to this, agreeing to miss out on Friday nights at the SU and lazy, hungover mornings with bacon sandwiches and embarrassing pictures. The friendships he’s made still feel new, tentative and he knows that none of them understand why he’s missing parties and intramural football to babysit some kid at karting races. 

He doesn’t say that he could work at Spoons and JD and do the night shift at fucking Asda and he still wouldn’t make the money Adam’s offering him to do this. 

He also doesn’t say that it’s not some kid, it’s Lando and he’s going to win a World Championship someday. 

The last few miles through the patchwork green Somerset countryside, the dew still glistening in the patchwork fields and the spires of sleepy villages, somehow feel like coming home. 

The gravel crunches under his wheels as he turns down the wide, poplar-lined driveway. His mum’s Kia feels small and grubby parked next to a Range Rover with brand-new ‘09 plates. He’s half-in, half-out, hastily shovelling the accumulated debris of protein shake bottles, t-shirts and overdue library books onto the backseat, when something small careers into him from behind. 

“Jon!” Lando squeals, vibrating with anticipation and probably sugary cereal. “I missed you!” He’s run out into the driveway barefoot in what must be his little sister’s dressing gown.

“Me too, bug,” Jon says, scooping him up easily. Lando winds his arms around Jon’s neck and keeps up a constant stream of chatter in his ear. 

The kitchen is as warm and noisy as Jon remembers. He sets Lando down onto a countertop, so he can shake hands with his parents. He gives his sisters high-fives and Oli a fist bump; drops down to scratch the elderly retriever behind the ears.

Over tea, toast and scrambled eggs from the family chickens, Adam spreads out a meticulous printed calendar across the table. 

Lando wedges himself in between them, puts his elbow in the butter dish and beams at Jon. 

“You’re gonna be here like, every weekend. How cool is that?”

They talk logistics for most of the morning: new season regulations, upgrades, race calendars and training schedules. Jon’s not sure if he feels sorry for Lando and Oli or envious. It’s not much of a childhood, but perhaps if he’d spent more time doing interval training as a 12 year old, and less time watching Top Gear reruns and eating Monster Munch, he’d be doing something better with his life.

They don’t seem any the worse for it. They show Jon the new Scalextric set up in their playroom and Oli roundly thrashes him at Guitar Hero. 

Lando for his part, provides a running stream of helpful commentary from the arm of the sofa: “You’re like, okay, Jon, well actually you’re kind of slow but you’re trying so hard!”, until Jon decides that Adam is probably paying him for more than Wii golf and drags them both up onto the hills for a bike ride. 

2010

RFM brings a gruelling European schedule, a truly obscene technical and logistical setup and the stocky, baby-faced son of two stockbrokers who’d apparently dominated the Asian circuits. Max is the same age as Lando, curly-haired and just as weird.  

Max is also very good. 

Jon watches them make shy eyes at each other from across the garage for the best part of a morning before he loses patience. 

“Go and play with him,” he tells Lando, who’s making a nuisance of himself under Jon’s feet, and sends him off in Max’s direction with a gentle shove and a football he has no idea what to do with. 

Max turns out to be steady and gentle foil to Lando’s jittery hyperactivity, and by the time they arrive at Genk for the first race of the season, they’ve sporting Lando Norris friendship stickers on their helmets and Jon has to make actual conversation with adults. 

Inseparable as they are, it’s easier than not for Jon to take Max under his wing as well: to get them racing up and down the tiny hotel pools and endless corridors, to wrangle them under a single big umbrella during rain delays, to tuck them into bed together with Wallace and Gromit on Max’s portable DVD player.

“Night, half pints,” Jon murmurs when he comes in to turn off the light. They’re already fast asleep, little hands entwined on top of the covers.

[origamiplushie]

I Have a Bird In Spring. Chapter 2

Written as part of the @steddiesummerexchange for @hardboiledleggs.

Chapter 2. The Fort Randolph Robber Frog

Chapter 1. Read on AO3.

Many poisonous frogs, such as the golden poison frog and dyeing poison frog, are boldly colored to warn predators of their dangerous toxic skins. Some colourful frogs, such as the Fort Randolph robber frog, have developed the same coloring as a coexisting poisonous species. Although their skins are not toxic, these mimics may gain protection from predators by looking dangerous. 

Living with his uncle permanently definitely had its upsides. Eddie loved his uncle Wayne, who had always been supportive of his interests and there to give advice and be a good influence on young Eddie. 

Wayne had been the one to introduce Eddie to blues and from there Eddie had found his way to metal. The first time he heard Judas Priest he felt like someone had scooped out his brain and heart, scrambled them together and made them into a song with an awesome guitar riff. Judas Priest was followed by Black Sabbath, Accept, Def Leppard and many other bands.

Metal gave Eddie the confidence to freely express himself without shame. With Wayne’s help he had learned to play the guitar, then to play his favorite songs and now he was experimenting with writing songs of his own. Now he could force this indifferent world to listen to what he had to say. 

Eddie had managed to make some new friends - Gareth, Jeff and Frank. Eddie had introduced them to Dungeons and Dragons and soon every Friday was campaign night. The four of them had even formed their own band!

But all these positives were weighed down by the rest of Hawkins itself. From the disapproving housewives to the loud and proud racists and small minded republicans, Hawkins felt like the poster town of conservative America. The cherry on top of this pile of shit - Hawkins High.

Eddie hated the school and everything it stood for with all his heart and you could fucking quote him on that, okay?

“The Hawkins elite consider themselves so much better than those who work at the factory. What you don’t realize is that every one of you works at a factory themselves. keeping your heads down and working mind-numbing shift after shift with no protest. The true factory is right here - Hawkins High!”

A few students threw reproachful glances towards his improvised stage on top of the cafeteria table. Eddie ignored them. He was giving a lecture filled with the kinds of truths that these kids were probably never going to receive anywhere else.

He hated most of the teachers. They were basically narrow minded dictators. 

“The goal of this factory is producing obedient drones for the massive machine that is America! The teachers grind down kids’ minds until they are smooth and have no will left to question the status quo or change anything.”

Obviously, they couldn’t stand Eddie and made his life a living hell for the crime of questioning them.

“The classes are filled with useless information because the system doesn’t want you to know anything true or useful about the world. The dumber the sheep, the easier it follows the shepherd.” 

He threw in a few monotonous bleating sounds for emphasis.

Eddie honestly thought that most classes contained either the most useless information to exist or were explicitly designed to torture kids, such as gym or shop. He hated having to waste his precious time on such nonsense.

“But no one is going to try and change this because they hope to receive a cushy life as thanks for their unquestioning loyalty. THis is where our honored rulers come into play.”

A mocking bow aimed towards the jock table.

“They know that the system will reward them. They will inherit daddy’s riches and job as a useless CEO who spends their days playing golf. The only thing they have to do is make sure the sheep never realize they’re being tricked. Meanwhile the sheepies just hope that if they lick the right boots they will become rulers themselves.”

What Eddie hated most of all was the ruling class of the high school’s student body. The jocks whose main interests were various ways to get balls into baskets and nerds into lockers. The cheerleaders and popular girls who only found humor in rumors and mockery. And finally the other conformative normies who tried to kiss the right asses so they would rise to the top of the popularity ladder themselves.

Eddie did a dramatic spin, hands spread to gesture at the rest of the student body. Caught up in his awesome monologue, he was oblivious to the tray of food right next to his foot until his spin sent it flying off of the table.

Right onto Mr. Kaminski’s pressed linen trousers.

Oops.

“Mister Munson, detention.” Mr. Kaminski said in a strained voice.

Eddie sighed and hopped off the table.

“Yeah, yeah. The gears continue to grind.”

Later that afternoon, dying of boredom in detention, Eddie’s mind wandered once more towards his (fantastic, but underappreciated) cafeteria speech. 

It was impossible to understand how none of the other students could see what he saw. Truly one of life’s greatest mysteries. Well, he’s sure some of the other nerds and geeks agreed with him but were smart enough not to say so publicly. Being part of Eddie’s misfit crew put a target on your pack and while he did his best to draw the attention to himself, he couldn’t always protect his friends from the likes of Tommy Hagan and Steve Harrington.

Steve Harrington, their illustrious king. The asshole who walked around like he was better than everyone else. He didn’t really shove anyone around but he was never afraid to put nerds back into their place. Calling someone a fucking weirdo freak, audibly making fun of a poorer kids hand-me-down clothes in the middle of the hallway and pretty much bending in half with laughter when someone failed to catch the ball in dodgeball and got hit in the face, the list goes on. 

While Eddie would get reprimanded the moment he even thought of stepping out of line, Harrington could get away with murder. He barely paid attention in class and sometimes skipped altogether with the flimsy excuse of feeling a bit ill. He threw parties at his huge mansion every other month and everyone knew to expect rivers of alcohol. However even when the cops busted the party, Harrington just got a slap on the wrist. 

If Eddie was honest with himself, the reason he despised Steve Harrington above all the other bullies was his name. 

Harrington did not deserve to bear the same name as Eddie’s childhood best friend, his little bit of magic made real. Eddie’s Stevie was a shy but kind and friendly boy. Steve Harrington was a mean jerk who used his charisma and privilege to get his way. 

Eddie was furious he had to associate such a dick with the name of one of the sweetest people he’s met.

However, at least his Stevie would never have to deal with this other Steve. Eddie’s pretty sure his Stevie’s family must have moved away at some point because even though he’s kept his eyes open he’s seen no sign of the kind boy he used to play with. Even after all these years, Eddie missed him a lot.

---

Steve’s life had turned into a disaster.

He didn’t want to go back to acting like an asshole. Wasn’t sure he could. But he had to admit, life had been easier that way. Steve hadn’t been happy but he also hadn’t ever had to worry about where to sit at lunch, hadn’t had to worry about getting “accidentally” shoulder checked against walls in the hallways.

He could always at least rely on throwing a party to drown out the empty silence.

But unfortunately he had had good sense literally beaten back into him by Jonathan Byers and he couldn’t close his eyes to the truth again. 

That’s not even touching upon the hell he now knew was chained beneath their feet. If realizing that he wasn’t sure he could stand to spend five minutes in a room with the person he used to be wasn’t enough to wreck his life, extradimensional monsters definitely tore it to shreds. 

Steve had tried so hard to hold up the ruins of his life this past year. Tried to move on and patch the metaphorical holes in the roof with his love for Nancy and his new tentative friendship with Byers. Tried to redecorate so his life moving forwards would be warm and welcoming rather than filled with bitter spite and petty insults.

Hadn’t that worked out well. Now all he had left was rubble. And Steve didn’t really have any material left to rebuild with.

Nancy was gone, spitting on all his efforts to build something happier with her on her way out. Byers and him were back to not speaking, unsure of where they stood with each other. And his father had only called to berate him for getting into another fight before saying that they wouldn’t make it home for Thanksgiving.

Bruised, beaten and heartbroken, Steve would really rather be anywhere but in the cold empty house that reminds him of his loneliness. So after another night interrupted by nightmares he barely remembered to put on shoes and grab a jacket before wandering out of his backdoor and into the woods.

He didn’t have a destination in mind, he just needed to get away. He wasn’t sure how long he wandered before muscle memory directed his drifting feet towards the old frog pond.

It used to be the place he felt the most comfortable. It made sense that his subconscious had brought him here to try and find that same sense of peace.

Staring at the empty clearing Steve was filled with bittersweet memories of warm summers when he could escape his cold house and to play with his friend, probably the only proper friend he had ever had. 

Now Steve had escaped from his cold and empty house to this… cold and empty pond? 

Something about that feels off to Steve. 

The whole clearing was unusually silent. Steve strained his ears but he couldn’t make out a sound except for his own still somewhat rapid breathing. Even at night he would have expected to hear the faint hooting of an owl or at least crickets.

Where were the animals? What had happened to the frogs?

Realization struck - the demodogs.

If Dart ended up eating Dustin’s cat even though Dustin did his best to keep it well fed, the wild ones must have been hunting animals even earlier. It seems that they had destroyed the demodogs too late to save the wildlife. To save Steve’s frog pond.

Would there be any tadpoles in the spring if there were no more frogs?

Steve slid down to sit down against a tree. He missed the soft croaking of the frogs. He missed feeling safe and happy. He missed Edmund.

Next.

[t-underneaththeradardancing]

barista - that wuz but - the beginning of clever but it wasnt clever so

another insert here daypoetrylaundrylist...whatever

not here much - i dont have much bandwidth and other reasons - may be more soonish

trynna get over the old af eyetus and time fugits more daily - wuz tawking bout that w someone much younger and it sometimes is fukken scary - this life old af or other - somehow we never get junger -actually more active but it tires me where wuz i

i need to find some music - scuze me - kinda like the new dave gilmour - scattered yah luck and strange kinda suits me like a jack o diamonds - funny how the world melts the right song at the right time - been playin a lot and actually have a verse /chorus for hallelujah anyway - more than enuff to perform lol - hoping to b up to madrone sunday after opera in the park

so in point of reference itsa frog friday and its been daze and the usual yah - goodandalwayskittymurderbirdsong...

jest trynna find some joy y'know to get thru the daygloom and horror

dont fukken know sometimes y'know - mending on many levels is exhausting - omfg he actually editing and proofreading kinda - sometime the accidental works out like a wild card which are few and far between these days it seems or maybe its the seeing or the seeking - id fucking no - duz the combination of texting language confuse u

at any rate ok or on the way to better or something like that like already said idk - anyway as opto mystic as can bee given the objective state of

everything

anyway

hallelujah

[s0fti3w1tch]

This is not for gatekeeping, I just wanna spout some turtle facts bc I'm a fucking nerd

THE FLAT FUCK FRIDAY MEMES WITH DONNIE ARE FUNNY AS FUCK

Though, these fellas aren't spiny soft shells!

It's the Asian giant soft shell turtle! / Cantor's giant soft shell turtle!

Some differences:

- Spiny softshells are native to North America, spanning from Central-Eastern U.S. all the way down to Northern Mexico, and a little bit into Canada.

- Asian giant softshells are native to Southeast Asia, all the way from Bangladesh to the Philippines, and even spread a bit further out, like in Eastern South India.

- Spiny softshells' carapaces are rougher by its head, spines along the front edge which give it its name. They are also known to "resemble pancakes."

- Asian giant softshells have a smooth carapace all around. It almost blends into their neck.

- Spiny softshells have a snorkel-like nose, 2 yellowish lines on the sides of its head.

- Asian giant softshell turtles have a broad head that ends in a shorter snout, eyes sitting close to it. For this reason, it's also called a "Frog-Faced turtle"

- Adult female spiny softshell's carapaces can grow to 7 up to 19 inches in length. Adult male spiny softshells can go from 5 to 10 inches.

- The general range of size for an adult Asian giant softshell's carapace is 28-39 inches in length.

- Though not listed as not endangered in the US (put as 'least concerned' in the IUCN), spiny softshells are considered endangered in Canada (listed as 'endangered' by COSEWIC, SARA, and 'threatened' by ESA).

- The Asian giant softshell turtle is classified as critically endangered by the IUCN (Though said they need to be reclassified due to more concerns). It's considered an EDGE species, Evolutionarily Distinct and Globally Endangeted.

This has been turtle facts with Buwan! Again! :)

some other related posts abt turtle facts!

[barneysbigstompers]

FNAF

Sonic

DDLC

Undertale (short amount of time)

Eddsworld

Unikitty

Tawog

Cof

Aof

My Littple Pont

Htf

Looney Tunes (more specifically the 2011 rendition)

Tom & Jerry (shocking)

Elevator Hitch

Dead Platw

Married in red

Cold Front (please recommend more racheldrawsthis games please)

Solarballs (shhhhhhh)

SpongeBob

South Park

Ducktales

Sally Face (Somewhat)

Creepypasta (JANE THE KILLER ON TOP RAGGHH)

Ok Ko

Murder Drones

Aphmau

Total Drama (All of them.)

Big Hero 6 (SO MUCH INCEST PLEASE IJUST WANT HIRO OCNTWNT AHHHHHH)

Descendants (all 3 I don’t like the latest ones)

Mob Psycho 100

Saiki K

SCTEAM AGHHHHHHH (1996 GRAHHHHH)

The Music Freaks

Smiling Friends

DICK FIGURES (DEAD ASS FANDOM)

Inside Out

CULT OF THE LAMB AGHHHHHHHHH

Spiderman (Soecifically ITSV and ATSV)

THE HOLLOW PLEASE I WANT SEASON 3

Smiling Critters (Idgaf if Dogday is overrated I LOVE HIM.)

Trolls

Gravity Falls 😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋

Starters

Friday Night Funckin

The Loud House (I HAGE THIS FUCKING FANSOM)

Camp Camp

Scott Pilgrim (Comic + Anime)

Steven Universe

Dhmis

Kindergarten (olease please)

IT IT (RICHIE AND EDDIE DESTROY ME WVERYTIME AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)

Hunter X Hunter

Spooky Month

Monster High 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Nimona (YALL SHOULDKNOW ABOUT THIS I LOVE THIS ITS SO GOOD????)

Tmnt (2012 + 2018 and maybe the 2023) I FUCKING HATE THE LIVE ACTION FROM 2010s AGHHHHHHHHHH THERES SO UGLY

Adventure Time + Fiona and Cat

Captain Underpants

Amphibia (I haven’t watched since s2 ep1 wonder what I missed 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔)

Turning Red

DSAF

inside job

Welcome 2 Hell 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

SVTFOE (I do not like Starco im so sorry I actually don’t like no ship from this show I just want a slice of life please please please ☹️☹️☹️☹️)

Moral Orel

PUSS IN BOOTS I LOVE PUSS IM BOOTS

Chucky (the movie and the television series I haven’t watched s3 tho)

FOSTERS HOME FOR IMAGINARY FRIENDS (GEAHHHHHHHHHH)

Genshin (not rlly tbh)

HETAHERS I KNEW INWA SFORGETTING SOMETHNG

did I say camp camp.

Sigh

Danganropa I GUESS

Anyways love all Simons 😋😋😋😋

AHHHH RAYMAN

PRINCESS AND THE FROG

Cinderellla

ROBLOX I LOVE ROBLOX

Class of 09

[optiwashere]

Archspire touring this year? Alongside Aborted? There's few shows where I've immediately bought tickets quite like that lmao.

Also, Friday's new releases were kinda sick ngl.

I love the "completely random discovery" part of new music. Sometimes you find a band that just flew under your radar for no reason.

Doomy, folky band called Isenordal released a new album and it's just fucking incredible? Melancholic, dark, emotionally raw. Melodic and depressing. Almost funeral doom in its pacing but with bursts of melodic black metal AKA fuckin' made specifically For Me. Definitely found new writing music with this one. The clean bridge in "A Moment Approaches Eternity?" Literally all of "Await Me, Ultima Thule?" The ethereal title track? Every track is incredible, 11+ minute songs have never felt so brief. Also, the 2CD physical copy comes with a narrative essay about the concept of the album??? How can a band be so for me and yet I've only heard of them now?

Skeletal Remains is the best death metal a girl could ask for 💜 Ending the album on a Hate Eternal cover 💜💜💜 It feels good to hear death metal so clearly inspired by F/G-era Morbid Angel without the absolutely tragic snare sound of the G album. Incredible follow-up to their 2020 album (that also rules btw)

Fun grimy death-doom from the fantastically named Slimelord. This time with an album title referencing a fungal disease found in frogs (???) and the album starts off with a highly reverberated, atmospheric sample of layered geese and gull sounds (?????)

On another note, the new Midnight is fine, nice and punky. I feel like he's been spinning his wheels for the last few albums though. Live shows still fuck either way, so I'm probably gonna see them live when they swing around here next time lol.

I have to wait to get the new Spit On Your Grave because I can only buy it from their label in Mexico. Zero presence around this album at all, and it's very odd. Maybe it's getting a wider release with the independent release on the 30th, IDK.

Also, new Ulcerate this year? Which means possibly Ulcerate tour this year? What pact did I unwittingly sign to deserve this?

[sweaterkittensahoy]

Oh goddamnit

So, on Saturday, I realized I fucked up the right front of Sean's waistcoat and had to frog the entire side and start over.

Super psyched tonight when I realized I was actually gonna finish the NEW right front with enough time to sew it together and put the trim on and add the buttons before my birthday dinner on Friday.

And now the right front is 10 rows too long because I didn't double-check my numbers.

I have thrown it in its bucket for the rest of the week. It can think about what it's done, and Sean will still look very handsome at my birthday dinner.

[c0tards--s0luti0n]

i might be able to gey my teacher to play tbi during College And Career class cuz its a guy [gender neutral] eith a job ! being an inspector is a career !

and if she doesnt check it first and decide theres too many nono words thats enough for her . we watched ratatouille because culinary is related to college and career , we watched the princess and the frog because tiana is an entrepreneur , and something els oh yeah monsters inc . because it was about a job . she has very low standards when it comes to these things .

anyway my school might have fuck you and fuck your train friday tomorroe !!

❗️❗️ FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR TRAIN FRIDAY WILL BECOME REAL IN 24 HOURS

[gh0strabbit]

frog gon friday!!! this time with keroppi

[t-underneaththeradardancing]

just like that - its 

then another - morning for instance frog friday - a kitty - good and always - murder  (sometimes a solo ) - birdsong - other missives and method modes - needles owee in a bit   

then 

idk an errand - mostly fuck all imma guessing after 

(note - this never got finished - idk y )

[fanarchoslashivist]

Bunnymund (an alien): motherfucking- the equinox passed Frost, it's Spring now. Go away!

Jack (a whole ass Lenape knee deep in his lake full of screaming frogs) : ????

[fatale-distraction]

happy friday that is also dadwc!!! for a prompt, i will submit, from the one-liners list: “Don’t be sorry…. It was kind of cute actually.” for Fenris/Merrill?

@nirikeehan requested the exact same prompt as well, so here goes!

I can’t even blame these shenanigans on the beer, because I’ve only had the one, but here’s some absolute fucking crack for @dadrunkwriting please enjoy

***

Fenris sneezed for what seemed like the fourteenth time that day, three times in quick succession, the last so powerful it rocked him back on one heel.

“My goodness!” Merrill exclaimed, digging in her pockets for a hand kerchief while the other elf sniffled pathetically, eyes red, glaring at her as if this were all her fault.

“My apologies,” he mumbled. “It’s all this—“ he sneezed again. “Hay.”

The cart trundled along the uneven dirt road, jolting the pair every once in a while when it hit a rock or a pothole. Hawke didn’t seem to be trying particularly hard to avoid them. That or she was just a terrible cart driver.

“I’m sorry, but no one else had any bright fucking ideas,” Briar snapped. “And this was the easiest thing to steal on short notice.”

“You stole a hay cart and horse?!” Merrill seemed shocked for some reason as she emptied her pockets into Fenris’ lap; A ball of twine, a half eaten apple, two rocks, a small bag of marbles, a large bag of dried elfroot, a tin of salve, a barrette, what looked like a finger bone, a single cracked die, a nail file, and a live frog. “Poor thing must miss its owner…”

She finally located a clean handkerchief. “Aha!” the mage cried. Fenris snarled as the frog wriggled across his lap and snatched it up, winding his arm back to hurl the poor creature as far as possible, but Merrill quickly replaced the frog with her hankie. “There, there, Mrs. Freckles, back in the pouch you go…” She gently stroked the frog’s head before stowing it back in her bag, safely away from her surly companion.

“How close was this to the frog?” He demanded, brandishing the scrap of cloth.

“Not at all,” Merrill replied soberly.

Grumbling, Fenris loudly blew his nose and groaned. His sinuses were murder.

“Mrs Freckles lives in my pouch. I found the hankie in my bra.”

Fenris sputtered and threw the hankie over the side of the cart. A muffled laugh behind him had his ears twitching angrily. Merrill watched the ruined cloth flutter away. “That’s alright, Fenris. I really didn’t want it back anyway.”

The other elf wasn’t listening. He was busy digging his clawed gauntlets into the hay behind him and punching at random until he hit soft flesh and heard a dull “ow.”

“Keep it up, mage,” he hissed. “Next time I hear a stupid little giggle out of you I’m taking us straight back to Kirkwall and…” His threat was cut off by another violent sneeze.

“You should have kept the handkerchief…” Merrill scolded as he sniffled again and swiped the back of his arm under his nose.

“Apologies…” he mumbled miserably.

“No need to apologize,” she assured him with an earnest pat on the arm. “Actually…you’ve got kind of a cute little sneeze. Achoo!” Her imitation was so far off, the hay began laughing all over again, joined by Hawke up front.

“I am not cute!” growled Fenris turning red.

Merrill poked him on the nose and he scowled. “Yes, you are—OW! Hawke, he bit me!”

“You kids settle down back there,” Briar hollered over her shoulder. “How are we supposed to smuggle Anders out of the Free Marches if you two keep shouting and drawing attention?”

“Yeah,” agreed the hay. “Think of poor, hay-covered, itchy, uncomfortable, full-bladdered Anders—Ow!! Hawke, Fenris keeps punching me!”

Hawke growled loudly. “I swear to the Maker’s Holy Tits, I will turn this fucking cart around!”

[aziraphales-library]

Hi! Do you have any human aus where aziraphale and crowley are spies?

Hello! I do have some ineffable spies fics for you...

The British Agent by Jackie Thomas (NR)

He realises that Crawley is beautiful. He is as lovely as any film star. It is not the open, sunny handsomeness of a Hollywood leading man. Life and experience have left their intricate mark across his features. But it is beauty nevertheless. A beauty forbidden twice over to Aziraphale.

On Espionage and Prophecy (or How to Accidentally, but Wholly, Fall in Love With a Soho Bookseller) by RockSaltAndRoll (E)

1941 is the London Blitz and the year that MI5 really comes into its own with the now infamous ‘double cross’ system. The service keep tabs on suspects, root out enemy agents and try to turn them into doubles.

Anthony J Crowley is fucking great at this job. He can be sneaky, underhanded and damn ruthless but also charming and kind. It’s what makes him good at turning.

Aziraphale is just a regular Soho bookseller who loves his shop and books and good food and wine when he’s approached by a woman claiming to be MI5, wanting to recruit him for espionage. The poor man is too trusting and gets the shock of his life when he’s approached by a charming but dangerous-looking man also claiming to be MI5.

Crowley recruits Aziraphale to double cross a double crosser and Aziraphale takes to espionage like a duck to water.

Danger, hijinks, and sex ensue.

Double-0 Omens by Supergeek21 (T)

After being told by Aziraphale he'd see him "when all this is over" Crowley starts his lockdown nap early. But what do demons dream about when they take a multi-month nap? Being Britain's greatest secret agent on a mission to save the world and rescue his best friend of course! And if that best friend also happens to be his love interest? Well, what Aziraphale doesn't know can't hurt him, right?

OR

The dream sequence James Bond AU that nobody asked for but everyone encouraged me to write anyway.

This story is mostly complete and I plan to update on Tuesdays and Fridays.

Unremarkable by HopeCoppice (T)

Sometimes, the most remarkable people are those nobody notices at all.

A Spy AU for the Good AUmens event.

The End of an Era by Balder12 (T)

It's the fall of 1989, and two spies have been meeting in St. James Park for 22 years. Now their time together is coming to an end.

a game of frog and mouse by summerdayghost (T)

The year is 1979. Aziraphale is KGB and Crowley is CIA. They have an Arrangement.

- Mod D