#its hard to say goodbye
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Another one bites the dust. Türkiye you brought the fight, passion, and drama every single time. While other nations bored us to death you never failed to deliver. I wanted this to keep going, but I'll remember that amazing save for a long time to come.
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I keep wondering if there was anything more we could've done, anything different.
In all honesty there probably was, for anyone else there would've been at least.
But we weren't going to change. No matter how much we wanted too.
#what a somnial symphony#this lullaby for q#words words words#i dont imagine it as words#its more of a feeling#a weight in my chest#its hard to say goodbye#but it wouldve been harder to live with our hellos
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Muse of Violence, Warrior of Science.
To the ordinary, everyday genius scientist-for-hire with a heart too big for her own good, we raise our sake cups.
You gave us food. You tried to protect us. You gave your life to ensure we'd all live on. Just lending a hand.
You knew it would end like this. We all knew it would end like this, and yet you still did it. And you did it to protect the friends you had made and the family you had left. And you did it all on your own terms, smiling all the way to the afterlife, knowing your will would be inherited by those you saved.
Clone or Machine or Satellite or Daughter. It matters not what you were. Because you went out like a true member of those who carry the will of D.
Thanks for everything, Atlas. For a satellite representing rage and violence, you had the biggest heart of any of them.
#egghead arc#chapter 1120#one piece spoilers#Vegapunk Atlas#Atlas is my favorite character in the series. I got into One Piece around the time Egghead started#and I just immediately fell in love with her character. Everything from being simultaneously a giant violent kaiju and a sweet young woman#to her endearing passion for her inventions (even more so than any of the other satellites) to her unwavering kindness toward the Straw Hat#simply because they liked what she had made and ate her food. A person so overwhelmingly and completely sincere it hurts.#Its not a stretch to say I resonated with her a lot throughout Egghead. Everything about her is 100%. Her passion and work ethic. Her rage.#Her happiness. Her protectiveness.#Her grief.#Atlas is a character that I fundamentally believe received one of the best death scenes of any one piece character.#But god it's so hard to say goodbye.#I would have loved to see how she would have reacted waking up on Elbaf and finally having the safety to mourn everyone she loves.#To see how she moves forward from this. To see her work furiously to keep the wills and memories of the people she loved alive.#But most importantly I think I just wanted to see her.. live. I just wanted that big ol' girl with a heart too big for her own good...#to make it to the end in one piece.#But what a sendoff. If she had to die.. I'm glad she got to die on her own terms. Helping everyone one last time and cracking a smile.#Humble as always.#I'm gonna miss her a lot.#punk.txt
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If i think about noelle deltarune too hard i just crumple and die a little. I just want to give her her sister back and never replay the game again
#noelle holiday#noelle deltarune#deltarune#noelle you live with uncertain grief. you grieve with a distracting hope that keeps eating at you and telling you she is out there.#that she is looking for you too. that she cares and is searching and didn't give up and is walking and talking and breathing#and laughing the same laugh at the same jokes you never fully got#but then something happens. someone was loud or the wind got strong or someone called your name while you lost yourself staring at the open#freezer in the grocery store. and you come back to reality. where she is gone and has been for years. where no one has heard anything from#her in years and everyone that happened to was found dead. but someone called your name. so you turn around and laugh asking them if they#needed something. because its fine. its been years and it doesn't affect you as much as it did when you were a kid.#thats what you tell everyone#you two say goodbye and you go back to your head. its hard to focus. its hard to grieve when you have hope.#its hard to accept an answer that never was
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Hi Uncle Neen! HYH! It sucks to see you struggling cuz you are a big inspiration of mine :( but you said you did your makeup the other day. Can we seeeeeeeeee maybe?
d'awwww ksahdlkdss, you are so sweet, nonnie! thank you so so soooo much, baby! xx i really needed this. i hope i heal ( i will...i have to, i am too much of an asshole to let god win, fuck him ) and i hope you heal from whatever harms you as well! you can do it! mWAH!~
-- also brb crying ;-; <3333 whenever y'all tell me i inspire you, it seriously makes me want to cry; you mean SO much to me, so to mean so much to you; it's Everything to me, my love. thank you for believing in me, know i believe infinitely in YOU and will keep fighting the good fight, living authentically and modelling pos behavior on this blog bc i take being a role model very seriously. :')
BUT ANYWAYS! sakhdlasd oh my god aaAaaAAAaa please!!! YOU ARE SO CUTE, THIS IS SO CUTE OF YOU, hELP AAAAA!!!!!! but yes, of course, of course. considering i am super bacteria nina right now and had to resign from my ( admittedly ) trash job and am no longer, at this moment, an education girlie ( besides on here, ofc, educating you on my two gay sons in love ), i can freely exist and post pictures of myself again! thank you for for giving me a safe place to do that. <3
i'll elaborate on what 'safe' means to me down below, but just for context i took this...sigh...last week, when i was told i would 'all better', just trying to feel like myself again after a month of being unmadeup and unfitted and ugly and troll-like and on death fucking row and fucking miserable as hell, i had my new hair appointment lined up, was about ready to take life by the balls again...and that shit BLUE BALLED ME SO HARD AND SAID *ravenstan vc* JK, BABY!
okay, sorry i have some really bad scarring and wounding up there by my neck so i had to cover her up but...there she is! the she beast!
as for posting pictures of myself just...please...PLEASE BE KIND. and i wish i meant that as a joke, i mean it very, VERY seriously. i am at a point right now, where i look my very fucking worst, i am weaker than i have ever been in my life, there are abrasions all over my body, which per the results of my culture ( i was right...several fucking times and no one would listen to me ) my body is trying to kill me and right now...it is Winning. ( i'm not gonna lose tho, dw, i am a nasty bitch from hell and i refuse to die this ugly, i fucking won't; choke )
tldr; I AM VERY VERY VERY SENSITIVE ABOUT HOW I LOOK. I DO NOT FEEL PRETTY, I AM LIKE ONE BAD COMMENT AWAY FROM TEARING THE SKIN OFF MY FACE AND I AM TELLING YOU GUYS I CANNOT DO THAT, I CANT CREATE ANY TEARING ON MY BODY OR THE BACTERIA WILL TUNNEL AND ITS HARD ENOUGH AS A BITCH WITH DERMATILOMANIA.
PLEASE BE NICE TO ME.
i know we shoot the shit on here and are funny and clown eachother, you guys are my family; it's what families do, but my boundary is that you can say i am pretty and be objectively kind or Please do not send me anything At ALL about how i look; i CANNOT take it rn. i know were just joking, but please, please, PLEASE Do NOT compare me to any ugly creatures, make me feel weird about any part of my face, tell me i look blurry, say anything is too big or too small…
please don’t meme on me abt my appearance...Ever.
it’s a very sensitive spot for me and makes me v anxious.
all this to say, i love you; thank you for being my home.
HYH.
-uncle nina, single ravesey mother and human petri dish
#idk what the face tag is ill make one later#but there she is#this is so sweet thank you guys for caring i swear i want to post more i am just so weak rn that its hard to keep my head up#ill talk about it more later but the test results were kinda hard for me bc they were scary and it is pretty serious#and very fucked up bc they could have caught it at er number one but they didnt catch it until my fifth drs appointment#and i had to beg...and lo and behold i am very fucking sick now and everything sucks but i am gonna beat it don't worry#anyways sorry for momming you guys i miss my kindergarteners i didnt get to say goodbye i am devastated#but i am actually very sensitive about how i look and do think i am ugly most days especially rn so please be kind to me#i only say this because i had a couple of anons who had good intentions send me anons joking with me about how i look#and it put me in such a bad depression that i like couldnt look at my face for days and it devastated me i am very sensitive#so please only kind words like objectively positively kind please don't make jokes about how i look or try to be funny#not in a good place for it but sigh...my hair...it is falling out rn so that sucks i'm out of comission for a week and a half#up to a month...assuming i get better...I WILL DW SORRY I WILL and i have stuff i'm working on right now#ask memes and i am trying to write so hang in there i love u#HYH <3
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(Click for better quality)
Healing & Growth
(gif made by my friend @robanilla-arts is below - slight warning for flashing! Thanks again, Rob!)
#if you feel like reading it - I'm gonna ramble in the tags.#Don't really feel like having it attached to the post for forever... cause what if i just wanna reblog some fairysona art??#anyways#this year sucked a lot. in a lot of ways. but im grateful for it.#healing is stupidly hard and annoyingly enough? not linear in the slightest. Yet infuriatingly - it is worth it.#I am far from done with healing. I've barely scratched the surface.#but im learning and connecting with myself along the way.#The biggest step I've taken this year is working on my people pleasing ways. it's a bad habit birthed from a lot of different traumas.#but it no longer rules my life.#I am not passive anymore - and surprise! that doesn't make me a horrible or evil person.#my kindness is no longer a weakness. its still a part of me and always will be. i won't let go of it.#but it is no longer to a fault#there are people undeserving of my kindness... i realize that now. I know what i will and will not put up with in every kind of relationshi#im still learning and exploring - and i've said a lot of goodbyes this year. I'm sure i will say more.#but that's okay.#some relationships are forever - some serve you for a while and teach you a lesson when they end.#and some relationships stick around and don't *have* to have a deeper connection#and that's also okay.#I didn't think I'd make it through this year in all honesty. I was very close to ending it all on multiple occasions.#But. for what it's worth - as of now im glad im here.#i will continue to struggle and have my hard times. im not naive enough to think depression just goes away.#but im okay for now and im moving forward.#there will be pauses and abrupt stops and likely some good ol' rotting involved. but when i can - ill be moving forward.#i will not speak a word of 2024 because no matter what it will have it's ups and downs.#but i will continue to keep working on myself. and that's all anyone can do in this weird life.#if you made it through all of that... uhhhh wow you got a crush on me or smth? /j/j/j/j#but fr - if you read this far... thank you. i hope you're faring well and that you have a happy celebration tonight.#sleep well and dream well when it comes to you#yucky draws#my art
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...
#the other day i was talking to my dad and he said im at a crossroads in my life except its an intersection of many different roads#and i have no idea which one to take. but because the semester is starting tomorrow it feela more like im standing at the edge of a cliff#waiting for the ground to crumble out from under me. not sure what im gonna tell my PI when i see him monday bc i feel like ive got one foot#out the door. its just hard when you dont know what to do or which direction to go or what opportunities you'll even get#and if i say goodbye to this program im probably saying goodbye to astr0biology. and if i dont go back to my old boss im probably saying#goodbye to microbial ecology. and if i say goodbye to those things i might be saying goodbye to a job where im passionate abt what i do#in exchange for being less insane and being paid an actual salary lol#its just frustrating and it makes me even more twisted up inside bc im teaching this semester and im like#how do i put passion into this when i#when all i feel is frustration and uncertainty. i dont even want to go into my office. when i left i couldnt sit in there without crying#but we'll see. too late to back out now. unless i have a breakdown halfway through#unrelated
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isn't it fucked up this conversation takes place a few hours before she gets killed. isn't that so fucked up. what was their problem
#skye's ramblings#SHAKES YOU REAALLY FUCKING HARD. ISNT THAT FUCKED??? HOW DESPERATELY HE TRIES TO KEEP THIS PROMISE WITHOUT KNOWING ITS ALREADY TOO LATE. TH#ahem anywayay. man i really like how much more focus the anime gives their relationship in the short amount of time we have with conny#this is a side scene in the manga and i think including it in the anime was a really good choice#that along with conny practically being glued to his side for 99% of her screentime and having them both cry when saying goodbye.. OW#theyre just !! soo fucking good i love them they make me soo sad i hope we all die. the siblings ever#tpn
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i've only seen granit in real life twice and each time it feels like seeing modern day helen of troy like i would launch a thousand planes for those thighs and that fat ass
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my childhood dog bella is probably gonna have to be euthanized in the next few weeks and i dont wanna think about it so heres some pics from back in the day when we used to hike together
#she can barely walk up the stairs anymore. i love her so much. its going to be so hard to say goodbye.#and i cant hike anymore also bc im disabled. but i will miss and cherish hiking with her all the time.
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i will say. if there’s one thing that preparing to move to the other side of the planet has taught me it’s that i’m very loved
#saying goodbye has been very hard i feel like it’s going to hit me like a truck once im there and by myself#like obviously i won’t be alone completely but while el is as work i’ll be like … :)#everyone back home will be asleep#i love my family and friends so dearly#and to have so so many people sending me off and wishing me well between family and friends and coworkers and everything.. its nice <3#it’s so lovely but it’s almost breaking my heart how am i meant to survive!!!!#i’m going to miss everyone so much#wow….. last day tomorrow….#p
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Even though it had it's flaws alchemy of souls have me something that k dramas have failed to do in a long time. Excitement. I remember waiting to watch k dramas as a teenager with baited breath for the next episodes to come out, falling in love with the characters with every step. And alchemy of souls delivered. So it will be one of my favorites. It could have been better but I will still love it even with it's flaws.
#alchemy of souls#cho yeong#alchemy of souls light and shadow#jang uk#naksu#alchemy of souls s2#its hard to say goodbye to my babies#what will i do now?
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being moved to a different classroom for my last week while the head of the program pretends she's doing me a favor but she's really doing my supervisor a favor 🙃
#she said she wanted me not to feel bad and be in a bad situation#but im p sure she did it bc my supervisor was up in the office talking shit ant me again this morning#she was acting all nice but 🤨#she's not nice soooo#also she didn't even follow up when i mentioned safety concerns for the kids when she asked why i was leaving#and she didn't ask me to stay#she did seem sympathetic but idk my co teacher thinks it was a favor to our supervisor to keep her happy#bc thry still think she walks on water#im so worried for the kids but it should be less stressful in t2#also the teacher i swapped with today saw me two hours later and she was like: girl i get it 💀💀💀#lmao#so sad for the kids tho#but excited abt new opportunities#but i did want to have the time to say goodbye to the kids#its probably better to transition them this way bc they'll still see me a little bit the last week but not all day#and get used to me not always being there#so they won't care as much when i'm completely gone the week after 😭#but they were crying at thebgate between the playgrounds today and it was really hard#i was holding finn's hand over the gate 🥺#then we combined classes for the end of the day on the playground and that was like 10 minutes before i went home#so they got happy for a bit then broke down again when i said goodbye 😭#teddy was screaming at the door the whole time after i left 😭#i watched thru the classroom window while the other teachers were consoling them and it was so sad 💔#i've only had one cry when i went home before but this time it was half of them#bc they barely saw me all day then i left as soon as they thought i was going to stay#anyway#i have a job interview tomorrow and surgery#and maybe a second job interview#trying to focus on that rn#still glad i'm quitting but 💔
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i know i basically disappeared from tumblr and have a ton of asks i’ll eventually get to, but i wanted to come on here and say how proud i am of nick. he’s come so far and i can’t wait to see what he does with his music going forward
#i’m just gonna put my feelings in the tags#the instagram post he made tonight honestly feels like proper closure#it’s really sad that get scared is gone for good but it’s honestly for the best#but the music will always be there and we can be glad that it happened#not to get really personal#but#even after all these years get scared means a lot to me#their music helped me through a really dark time when i was a teenager#they brought me towards my first internet friends and i still talk to one of them to this day#and those are moments i’ll always cherish despite how bad some things ended#while it will be hard to let go because letting go means saying goodbye and sometimes growing#but knowing that chapter is over brings overwhelming peace#i’m really proud of nick i feel like i grew up with him and i hope he continues to flourish#he deserves the fucking world and all its stars after what he’s been through#sending nick all of my love and well wishes
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thinking about. mario galaxy and
crying
thats all
#super mario galaxy#mario#rosalina#look the idea of saying goodbye to everything you ever loved because You need to and still going on anyway because.#You need to#got to me okay.#gonna go play luma on spotify and have a meltdown cuz ive been a real shit#and life in its infinite wisdom has been a real shit in return#im trying so so hard but i keep fucking up#and im worried im going to be the thing people have to say goodbye to soon#i dont want to be the baby luma#i dont want to throw myself into the sun#but if its to save a galaxy i will#if it hurts less i might#i miss my mom
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😺
#i haven't addressed yoongi's situation yet because i'm honestly still not hit by it i guess. like it didnt gwt to me yet#i dont think ill ever love anyone the same as i love him you know what i mean#he has been the first reason of my self development. like he literally raised me??? i learned from him how to be the person i am today#and its like im saying goodbye to a family member. the thing is i have never griefed anyone's absence like this#its like a part of my soul will be missing until he comes back#but at the same time i know what he would want for me. to move on and to become my own reason#he would want me to be kind to myself. to focus on myself and not miss him that much.#he would want that for all of us right#but i have a very hard time processing things. do you guys remeber the festa last year? when we found out theyll be going on hiatus#the reality of it snd the fact that it will be happening hit me onky after around 3 months.#thats when i first cried because i realized what it meant. ofc i knew but it didnt occur to the emotional part of my brain at that time#and i feel like im truly gonna fall apart when THIS hits me in 3 months lol#my life has never been worse and thats honestly the time when i need the reassurance the most#when i need the people i love and find comfort in the most.#but its just me and thats technically just my problem. but since i am talking about my view on this then thats okay i guess hahah anyway#i just hope he knows there are milions of ppl who love him as much as i do. and thats like extra love like forever & beyond type of shit#i honestly dont think other people ever truly fully understand how we feel towards them. especially when you really love somebody#because they have their own opinions about themselves. they debate whether they deserve some kind of treatment or not. we all do that right#and i just know he does that too. i just reslly want him to feel completely loved and cherished and appreciated.#i want him to see himself through our eyes. to surround himself with people who see him exactly the way we do.#to fall in love with somebody who will see him like we see him#nobody deserves better life than this man. and i hope that after our reunion he will live that life to the fullest 💓 i can't wait to see it#anyway. if somebody needs to talk about it or wants to get sadness out of your system - im here 💓#please keep your heads up and lets wait for him 💓#we have esch other and we will be okay 💓#sorry for typos i can barely see its 1am 🤓
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