#i dont want to throw myself into the sun

[draculaugust]

thinking about. mario galaxy and

crying

thats all

[biteapple]

my former therapist told me "everything you are and become and will be is something learned; you cant be something if you didn't learn it somewhere. nothing is inherent about anyone, except for something genetic" and honestly it is still messing with me on some level

[lizaluvsthis]

SPOILER FOR THE NEW EPISODE! CHRISTMAS WARS! SCROLL OUT IF YOU HAVENT WATCHED IT YET!!!!

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"Hey Liz how'd that new christmas episo-"

*ME BREATHING HEAVILY*

Consider on Smg3 having a good point for hosting his own party (why cant he just throw a party with the dead memes? Like invite them in his cafe right aw-) thats exactly why. Dead memes cant re-enter the living realm. (Also the reason what happened during the 10th year anniversary episode because we DONT want that mess again?

So instead of dead memes he literally chose to host it WITH his new friends this time. Smg4's crew.

"But why tho? Didn't he hated them?" YES. but at the same time. Please dont forget his mere messages during IGBP on the line he says "But I've met your friends man..." again. Ask me WHY theres another reason he moved in next to four's castle?

(He doesn't want to feel alone again not only four was the reason but his friends too)

Okay but when after the castle and three's coffee shop got burned down by santa clause, where do you see that bright explanation from the crew.

AND LITERALLY. SMG3 IS ON TSUNDERE MODE ACTIVATION WHERE HE- BLUSHED- I mean its okay- its totally fine its perfectly normal.

Not for three. He never celebrated christmas in the early 2020 not even after the arc but four was kind enough to invite three in the recent years to make him have to experience whats special about it.

But three was too embarrassed from four's crew because they've shown alot of kindness towards him that he'd never experienced at all and this was his first time hearing it all out on them.

After he says "f-friends?!" He continues on playing "I'd rather die than have you guys as friends"

Which also meant he did. Almost. Die. Saving four.

Did you notice smg4 in this scene? Did you see the way he looked at three? Did you SEE how he giggled and laughed just by seeing his expression?

Heart tingles you know? And this IS also the first time he's done that.

Wait for it...

WAIT FOR IT...

WOW SMG4 THAT BACK HOLD AT THREE WAS SUPER SMOOTH I'M OBVIOUSLY BLIND TO MYSELF THAT I CANT "SEE" WITH MY OWN EYES.

And NOT ONLY THAT- EVERYONE'S REACTION WERE THE SAME PLACE EXCEPT WHO? MARIO.

WHO'S MOUTH IS OPEN AND MAKING A HAPPY EXPRESSION (that also means... HE HAD JUST WITNESSED FOUR BEING A F-KING FRUIT AGAIN-) (MARIO BEING A REAL SMG34 SHIPPER IS SO REAL)

Not only was it delicious- Three too was smiling at four, supporting his idea and not even LEAVING by his side. (Like have you noticed right after both of their places got destroyed- these two completely HAVE NEVER SEPARATED AND STUCK CLOSE TOGETHER?)

This also provens he's on the right role after all. His character development did improve his changing around his friends even after 2020th - 2022nd

Who knows that maybe four's crew knew that three wasn't so bad after all? That he was just in need of friends because he'd been so alone from time to time?

Still. He smiles. Not just for the holiday spirit, but to his new friends, and four to have on. (Mention of mario makes turkey for upcoming xmas episode four convinced EVERYONE from the crew including three, BUT HE NEVER LEFT BY HIS SIDE. Literally the moon is stuck with the sun)

Four and three? They both contacted atleast EVERYONE from town they know. (Even three never considered belle, whimpu, or the so called fake-other-versions of theirs who became his crew during 2020th wotfi he still has a heart to consider them all as being in part of his life.)

We never get a mistletoe scene sadly but we had a precious smg34 collection here...

Even after this hand taking, Three and Four looked at eachother together before they start to sway and celebrate the christmas holiday.

"Liz it's just two of them looking whats so important from that?"

You dont see these fruits being like that often, so its a very rare one in the new episodes. (Considered again. Three has gone soft. TOO soft for being with four's crew and being with... smg4...)

He wasnt even angry or done with this bs he still had that christmas spirit and all that matters is celebrating it with four and his other new friends.

OKAY THERE IM DONE I'M EVEN GONNA BE MORE ILL-

*insert audio losing pulse*

[melusinealarice]

I saw someone ask for this, and I want it as-well so Im writing it

Finnick and reader (y/n) screwing in the arena as a “fuck you” to the capitol.

A final, fuck you

Annie doesn’t exist, quarter quel, no established relationships, just enemies to lovers, sexual tension and an axe to grind

Warnings: cursing, smut, angst, hunger games so yk, violence, mentions of prostitution, porn with a little plot, If you wanna skip there I’ll put a huge red heart right before ❤️❤️‍🔥🩷❣️

Backstory: reader is 23, district 4 won 70th games, family was killed,

“Look at you,” you turn around to see Finnick, and turn away covering your eyes. “You know there are children watching this Odair, wanna put some clothes on? Or leave anything to the imagination?” You say, “ouch, feisty.” He retorts, tossing a sugar cube up catching it between his teeth. “What are you? 12?” You say rolling my eyes at him. God he is such a peacock, and it pisses you off so much. He just thinks he is god’s gift to man. “12 inches deep in your mom.” He says playing into the character. You try my best not to laugh, and Finnick can tell, “you wanna laugh and you know it.” He says, a smirk on his face. “Funny, hilarious actually, it almost made me not want to kill myself.” You roll your eyes, regaining your composure. “Well, we wouldn’t want that now would we, who would be the pretty girl on my arm?” He says eyeing me up and down, “we are wearing the same thing (y/n). You have no leverage here.” He says. “Yes, it seems ive lost my clothes, usually its just you dressed like a whore, i mean if the shoe fits.” You fire back, now it was your turn to smirk, “what? Cat got your tung?” His face falls, he looks, angry? He pulls you in so no one else can hear him. “Look (y/n), you dont know shit.” He whispers harshly, his grip on your arm tightening, his nails digging into the skin, you like the feeling. “So i’ll give you a warning, shut the fuck up.” He finishes before pulling away, his facade back on. “After you m’lady,” he says, a fake smile that looks teasing now, as he holds out a hand to help you into the carriage.

After that interaction meals are quiet, you had quit trying to talk with him, focusing on the task ahead, getting out of that arena, one way or another.

“(Y/n)?” Your stylist, Ines says snapping you back to the present, “what?” You ask. “Never-mind,” she says, waving if off. You’re about to enter the tube that will take you to the arena. “30 seconds remaining.” The speaker says. I step into the tube. “Good luck,” Ines says. “20 seconds remaining.” “Thank you,” you reply, “10 seconds” the tube closes, “5, 4, 3, 2, 1.” You start to move up. Sun hits your face, as your eyes ajust to the light you look around. Water, you’re completely surrounded by water, well, you know who this arena favors. You get ready as the count down starts. “60 seconds” you look around, Beetee and Chaff are on either side of you. “50 seconds” you look at the cornucopia, you’re facing it’s mouth, there are throwing knives relatively close to you. “40 seconds” you look for Johanna, the two of you made an alliance, she is your best friend and if you’re dying you wanted it to be with her. “30 seconds” you spot her, she is already looking at you. “20 seconds,” you get ready to dive into the water. “10,” you’re shaking, “9” This is really happening, “8” fuck. “7” just get to the cornucopia, “6” Dive as far out as you can, “5” get onto the rocks, “4” run as fast as you can, “3” dont trip “2” you’re ready, “1” shit. The cannon booms, you dive in, you pull myself onto the rocks and start running, not looking anywhere but forward. You make it to the cornucopia and grab the knives and the belt. The first cannon goes off, you look for Jo, and spot her, you run towards her, “Fight them off, Ill get Beetee and Wirus!” She yells, you throw your knife, it finds it’s way into a tribute’s chest, cannon, you throw a few more. “LETS GO!” You shout to Jo, “ok come on follow me!” She starts down a strip of rock, you dive in swimming along side her. You all make it to the beach and run into the cover of the jungle.

“Ok wait stop.” You say after a few minutes of running, “lets stop here and talk strategy.” “Good idea,” says Jo. “I think we should play evasive until we have no choice.” Says Beetee. You all agree. After a minute or two of talking Blight talks, “ok, lets keep moving, we’ll walk as far into the jungle as we can.” He says, “alright, take the lead.” You say, motioning for him to start. Jo and you bring up the rear, half defending half talking and joking. “Would you two focu-” blight starts to say but he is cut off. “RAIN!” You scream, tilting your face to the sky, but something is off, Jo notices it aswell, you all exchange confused looks. “Oh shit.” You say with Jo. Suddenly the ‘rain’ turns into down pour, but its not rain, its blood. Thick hot blood. You can barley see in-front of of you. Jo grabs your hand “RUN!” blight screams, starting to run forward, you start to follow as best you can but he hits something. It throws him back. “WAIT WAIT! STOP!” Beetee screams, “its a force field, other way!” He screams, the cannon goes off. “Damn it!” Jo screams, you turn around. Stumbling blind, you trudge through the jungle, only knowing where the others are by hearing their voices. “THE BEACH! I SEE THE BEACH!” Jo screams, and you follow her voice.

You get to the beach around the same time as Jo. You hug each-other, a few seconds later Beetee emerges with Wirus. She is freaking out, you all are covered in blood. As Jo tries to coax Wirus out of the tree line you are checking the surroundings. “JOHANNA!” You hear, you turn drawing a knife, its just Finnick. But you dont put the knife back tho. “FINNICK!” She screams back. He starts running to her. Sometimes you can’t believe they are friends. As you look past, you see Katniss and Peeta, you clutch your knife tighter seeing she has her bow drawn. Johanna starts explaining the situation to Finnick, but Wirus starts getting on Jo’s nerves, who is already stressed out and pissed off. “Tik tok, tik tok,” she repeats over and over like a mad woman grabbing Jo. “OKAY OKAY!” Jo screams pushing her off. “Hey, HEY, LEAVE HER ALONE!” Katniss screams running up and pushing Jo, she draws an arrow. You look around, Peeta, perfect! You draw your dagger and before anyone can react you put him in a headlock, holding the dagger to his throat. “HEY!” You scream, Katniss turns, aiming her bow at you.“Let him go.” She comands, as if she has any authority in the situation. “Leave Jo the fuck alone, we just ran through fucking blood!” You yell back. She fires her arrow, but you dodge out of the way taking Peeta with you. “Shoot it again, I fucking dare you! This time, I’ll move lover boy right in the line of fire, try me!” You scream at her, pressing the knife harder into Peeta’s neck. He puts his hands up in surrender. “Woah woah, calm down.” Finnick says stepping in between the two of you. “Dont tell me to ‘calm down’! SHE HAS A KNIFE TO PEETA’S TROAT!” Katniss screams at Finnick, “How about we all put our weapons down,” Peeta says, pleading to Katniss. “Shut up.” You sneer, moving your knife to tilt his head up. “Ok look, Katniss, she just thought you were gonna hurt Jo, are you gonna hurt Jo?” Finnick asks Katniss, telling her the right answer, “No.” She says, arrow still in place. Finnick exhales, Katniss must realize your too good to be stubborn with. “See, now, (y/n) let Peeta go,” he says. “I’ll drop my dagger, but im not letting him go till she drops the bow.” You drop the knife. “Katniss, will you please drop your bow?” Finnick says, he knows, you’ll kill him, right here, right now, and that’s exactly what he needs to not happen. She drops her bow. “If you try anything I swear to god i’ll snap your fuckin neck.” You whisper in his ear, he nods. You let him go, with hands still in the air he walk to katniss. “Okay, good, we’re all stressed lets just cool off,” Finnick says walking to you. “Im fine,” you say grabbing your dagger. “No your not, your mad and you’re gonna do something stupid.” He says grabbing you and throwing you over his shoulder. “FINNICK! FINNICK WHAT THE FUCK! PUT ME DOWN- I SWEAR TO GOD ILL KILL YOU!” You scream squirming around. “Calm down” he says dunking you in the water a few times before straight up dropping you into it. You stand up, wiping the water from your eyes, still pissed off, just at him. He laughs, “god you know, you look so… cute when your mad.” He says, still laughing. “Oh fuck off Odair.” You say turning away from him. You wash the blood off as he turns and walks back to the beach. Jo joins you, washing the blood off her. Once you are both done yall go back to the beach, sitting together on the sand.

Some time passes, “Im gonna go get water.”you say getting up and walking into the jungle. Really you just wanna be alone for a little. It peaceful until you hear a scream, it’s Katniss’s name, but its not a tribute. “PRIM” you hear her scream in the distance, shit. You try and ignore it, not your circus, not your monkeys. You hear another scream. “FINNICK!” “FINNICK HELP ME!” What? But thats not possible, you’re not screaming. But its your voice. “(Y/N)” you hear him scream back. “DAMNIT ODAIR!” You scream to no one in particular, your circus, your monkeys. You run towards the screams but run, into a wall? But it’s clear, and it doesn’t throw you back like the force field did with Blight, you cant hear any screams anymore. “(Y/N)! Over here!” Jo beckons to you. You walk over to her. “What is this?” You quickly regret asking as Beetee starts going on about some science stuff. “Okay, okay.” Jo says cutting him off. You look to see Katniss on the ground covering he ears as birds swoop in. “Jabber-Jays, DAMNIT, I HATE SNOW! FUCK YOU, CANT YOU JUST FUCKING DIE ALREADY! HOW ABOUT YOU COME DOWN HERE AND WE CAN FIGHT YOU PUSSY!” You scream up at the sky, Jo is smiling, Wirus is mentally gone, Peeta is staring at you like you’ve lost your mind and Beete is just not saying anything. “Finnick flipped out when he heard your screams,” Jo says sitting beside you. Finnick is currently on the ground as well, but he looks up for a brief moment, long enough to see you, and you see some of the worry in his face leave, you look back at Jo but he stays staring at you. You look at Jo, a look of confusion on your face but you know exactly what’s going on because you’ve felt is aswell.

❤️

The hour is up, you run up to Finnick, holding his head, “shit, im so sorry” you say, he straightens hugging you back, it’s strong, and he smells like the ocean. Katniss is worried about her sister, “they aren’t gonna do anything to Prim.” Peeta says. “He’s right ya know, the whole country  loves your sister, if they ever did anything to her, forget the districts, there would be riots in the damn capitol. HEY HOW DOES THAT SOUND SNOW? WHAT IF WE, WHAT IF WE SET YOUR BACKYARD ON FIRE? YA KNOW YOU CANT PUT EVERYBODY IN HERE!” Jo screams, waving her axe around. Katniss and Peeta stare at her in absolute terror, its almost funny. “What? He can’t hurt me. There’s no one left that I love.” She says, “im gonna go get some water.” She leaves. “Lets go scout out the area Finnick,” you say. The two of you get up and walk away. You walk for a few minutes in silence before Finnick breaks it. “Im so fucking ma-” but you cut him off, backing against a tree and pulling him with you into a kiss. Its rough and passionate but hungry. “Fuck,” you pant out. “God you’re hot,” he says kissing down your neck. “Wait, what about the Capitol?” You say before he draws a whine from you, sucking on a sweet spot. “Fuck them, now they’ll know how I really feel.” His voice is low and raspy, his eyes filled with lust. You pull his zipper to the wetsuit down revealing his abs and arms and fuck, he might be god’s gift to you. “Is this really, the best, place?” You say in between pants and moans as he peels the wetsuit off your body, grabbing your breasts and massaging them, making you push back into the tree throwing your head back in pleasure. “I dont want to die never having done this with you sweetheart.” He growls into the crest of your neck. “Mhm oh god, me neither.” You say as you feel his bulge against your stomach. On instinct you start to grind on it. “Fuck thats it.” He says, groaning as he throws his head back in pleasure, “please,” you whine, he brings the rest of your wetsuit down and picks you up, wrapping your legs around his waist. You shimmy his suit down the rest of the way, pulling him out. He groans at the contact, “Fuck, you’ve hardly touched me and look at how worked up I am,” he says, lining up with you. “Oh darling, you’re so fuckin wet for me” he coos, running his tip along my slit eliciting a whimper from you as you grab his hair. He pushes into you with a groan. “You feel so good (Y/n)” he says, moaning your name. It sounds so right coming from his mouth. You clench around him and he lets out a loud groan, his nails digging into your arm, you like it, so much more this time. “Fuck, Finn,” you whine out. “Yea good girl, say my name, tell them all who’s making you feel so good, im making you mine (y/n)” he groans, thrusting into you faster and your moaning and whimpering around him, he feels so good, so so good, “so so so good, finn, mhm dont stop.” You whine out, yanking his hair harder, closing your eyes. “Open those pretty eyes for me,” you whine in protest, “now or I stop.” He forces your eyes open, looking into his as he fucks you harder, hitting all the right spots, getting all the best noises. You can feel how close you are, and so can he. “Finnickk.” You whine out, “I know, me too,” he grunts out, moving his hand to rub your aching clit, “yes, right there, please oh god oh god FIN!” You cry out as you cum for him, “fuck sweetheart you sound so pretty, you feel so good.” You whine and your hips buck up trying to get away from the overstimulation, “Finnickkk, please I can’t,” you whimper out, still shaking from your first orgasm, “Im close sweetheart.” He says his pace picking up, his fingers still working your clit. He hits the spot deep in you that has you seeing stars. You moan his name, as a second orgasm hits you, “Oh god Finnick, finnick,” you moan his name like a chant it feels so good, “Im gonna cum (y/n)” he grunts out, his thrusts getting sloppy before he cums inside of you, moaning your name and burying his face in your neck as he thrusts in a few more times. “God, you did so so good sweetheart” he pants out.

You both regain your dignity before turning to face up and flipping off the world. A final fuck you to the capitol.

The end, hope you liked it ❤️

Funny story, as I was writing the smut while my playlist was on shuffle, Ronan by Taylor Swift started playing, so I had to take a break and cry. 😃 so if the smut sucks thats why, it killed my mood. Then my cat came in and needed my attention.

[lovelytsunoda]

the poolhouse // clement novalak (mini fic)

summary: after watching her boyfriend film a tiktok for his podcast, y/n and clement escape to the pool house to spend some quality time together.

pairing: clement novalak x female reader

warnings: clement being a lovesick idiot (but most importantly, respecting his beloveds sexual boundaries!), consumption of alcohol, oral sex (female receiving)

the way that clement novalak moved was criminal.

the sun was setting beyond the palms as the group sat in marcus armstrong's backyard in new zealand, clement and james in the pool, attempting to film a tiktok to promote screaming meals.

time after time, clement launched himself out of the water, tossing his hair back like an actor in some eighties movie (although if she was ever forced to choose between her boyfriend and dirty dancing-era patrick swayze, she was picking patrick swayze).

the pair were so different that nobody thought the relationship would work. clement was outgoing and always needed to be doing something, and y/n was soft and gentle, and would rather stay home with a book. in addition to these differences, they also had vastly different sex drives. clement could get it up whenever and wherever, whereas it took some time for y/n, and her libido was more responsive than clem's. but they made it work, even if it meant scheduling sex into their calendars at least once a month.

but watching clem in that swimming pool? oh yes, her body was very responsive to that.

clem ambled out of the pool, using his fingers to slick his hair back over his scalp. fingers that she suddenly wished were inside her as she choked on her glass of water.

he slipped onto the lounger next to her, and y/n wasted no time throwing one leg over his and resting her head against his damp chest.

“hey, darling. did you miss me that much?” Clem chuckled, pulling her close and kissing her softly.

she whispered his name softly, running her hand over his bare chest. “clem, i need you.”

“is this a now problem, or can it wait until we get home, love?” given the often erratic nature of their sex life, clement tried to avoid quickies when he could, as he would much rather take his time giving his lover the full princess treatment.

“havent quite figured that out yet.” y/n mumbled, kissing clems cheek before getting up from the lounger. “i do, however, need a stronger drink. care to come with?”

“anything for you, pretty lady.”

the couple walked hand in hand towards the poolhouse, giggling and laughing to each other as james and marcus gave each other a look.

it was rare that they were ever around a couple who loved each other as much as clement and y/n. marcus was taking bets on when they’d stop beating around the bush and get married to each other.

they slipped inside the pool house, which felt like a large living room and kitchen. clement went straight for the exotic fruit tray on the counter, popping a small chunk of pineapple into his mouth while his lover filled the blender with ice.

“want a bite?” clem offered, holding out a pineapple slice.

“sure.” y/n agreed, sliding the ice tray back into the freezer. “do you want a pina colada?”

“I’ll just steal yours.” clem shrugged as he lover leaned over the kitchen island, taking a bite out of the slice. “hang on just a second.” clem said softly, using the tips of his fingers to wipe up the pineapple juice that had dripped from y/n’s lips.

“did you get it all?” she asked, patting at the skin around her lips.

“yeah, i think so.”

and in a move that shocked them both, y/n leaned forward, gently taking her lovers fingertips into her mouth and sucking up the remainder of the pineapple juice.

clem’s eyes widened, his muscles tensing as a small jolt of arousal went through his veins.

“i didn’t want anything to go to waste.” she blushed, voice sweet as she tried to avert her eyes.

“that’s bold for you, sweetheart. but I dont mind it, dirty girl.”

clem didn’t miss the way that y/n tensed, a touch of panic in her eyes as she took a step back from the countertop- and her lover.

“we talked about this, clement. remember what I said about what I needed to feel safe in the bedroom?”

and clem felt like shit. he hated that he was the person making y/n feel like this. he was the first to admit that sometimes he got carried away when it comes to sex. but it had been a learning curve since he and y/n had taken their relationship to that stage. she was sweet and gentle and jaded. she needed to feel loved all the time, and that carried over to the bedroom.

for y/n, sex was intimate and vulnerable. the act carried a lot of emotions, and it wasn’t something that she took lightly.

“I’m so sorry, love.” his voice wavered as he watched y/n’s shaky hands take the cap off of the pina colada syrup. “i got a bit carried away, but you know that I love you, y/n. you are the apple of my eye, the most important thing in my life. and I would never do anything to embarrass you or make you feel anything less than perfect, in or out of the bedroom.”

“i know.” y/n exhaled, the bad feeling slowly leaving her stomach. this was still her sweet lover boy clement. her hands were steadier now as she poured a small serving of malibu into the blender. “I’m probably overreacting anyways.”

“sweetheart, you overreact about a lot of things. but never this. I’m glad that you told me before I crossed the line too far and did something that really made you feel uncomfortable.”

“come over to this side and hold me while I make us a drink, you big dork.”

grateful that things were back to the way they were supposed to be, clement crossed the island to pull y/n into his arms, gently placing a kiss to her shoulder as she started the blender.

this was the clement that she loved. the clingy, sweet, affectionate version of the driver that only she got to see.

“grab a glass, I’ll get the straws.”

“coming right up, pretty girl.” clement quipped, placing a cocktail glass on the counter for y/n to pour the slush into.

she placed both reusable straws in the glass before turning around and offering her lover a sip. with a childish grin, the frenchman dropped a small pink drink umbrella in the glass, and they both giggled.

“I love you.” she said softly, before taking a sip of the drink.

after she swallowed, clem leaned over the glass to kiss her softly, cradling her cheek in his hand. “you taste like coconut.”

“you’re so cheesy.” she laughed. “you’re going to have to try it, too.”

ever the golden retriever, clem took his own sip of the drink before kissing his girlfriend, cradling her body close.

“god this is strong. how much syrup did you put in.”

“enough.” y/n laughed “you taste like it too.”

“we’re awful.” clem laughed, placing the glass on the counter before scooping his lover into his arms and carrying her over to the indoor/outdoor couch.

“i know. but only in the way that old married couples are.” she laughed softly, holding hands with her boyfriend as he kissed up her leg.

one kiss. four kisses. three kisses.

i love you.

there were plenty of amazing things that clement novalak could do in the bedroom, but those little kisses in that exact sequence was her favourite. it was clements way of reminding her how loved she was.

he gently slipped his hands underneath the seam of her swimsuit bottoms, waiting for her signal before slipping the baby pink fabric off her skin, folding the garment gently before placing it on the couch.

“I love you, clement novalak.” she hummed, gently carding her fingers through clems hair as she rested her thighs on his shoulders.

“I love you, y/n y/l/n.” clement grinned before kissing her thigh one last time before he gently ran his tongue over her slit.

“oh, sweet jesus, that feels good.”

she could feel clement smile, the gentle tickle of his stubble against her skin as he shook his head, making his girlfriend giggle. a giggle that soon tapered into a moan as clem kissed her core, gently sliding his tongue inside her.

“that’s it, sweet girl. I just want you to feel so so good, honey. I love making you feel good, darling.”

———

back outside, lissie mackintosh seemed to be the only one who noticed that the couple were missing.

“it shouldn’t take almost an hour to make a pina colada.” the influencer mused. she had previously filmed episodes of screaming meals with the boys and had fostered a close friendship with marcus in the time since.

marcus and james exchanged a look before they both burst out laughing.

“you really think they went to get drinks?” james laughed. “they have drastically different sex drives, but when you’re around them long enough you realize that when she wants him, she really wants him.”

“I just wish they’d not do it in the pool house.” marcus scowled. “they’d better clean up after themselves.”

“what did we miss?” y/n laughed, her face still pink and a hickey beginning to form on her thigh as she and clem rejoined the party, hand in hand an inseparable from each other as he passed her the pina colada glass.

“I love you.” clem whispered with a smile, kissing her neck as he hugged her from behind. “I’m gonna marry you someday.”

“after I finish college, that way james doesn’t get the payout from the bet.” y/n laughed, kissing him softly. “I love you too.”

Tags:

@mignonricciardo @scuderiamh @sidcrosbyspuck @magnummagnussen @clemswrld

[bonny-kookoo]

But Ninny, just imagine lock me up mc going into preheat and defective Yoongi gets all protective over her 🥺 anon was onto something with that heat ask honestly 😮‍💨 jk jk….unless 👀

You're antsy again, right when he'd thought he'd gotten you comfortable enough so you wouldn't try and escape anymore.

But your little outdoor adventures aren't of the usual kind either- you definitely stay in close proximity to his home, never even reach the streets, always rather roaming the rooftops, and he can see on his little GPS tracker on his laptop that you're somewhat pacing around.

Something's off, and he needs to know what.

When he reaches the rooftops, it's a little windy. Not too chilly, but a nice fresh wind blows, sun setting- and there you are, rolling on your back in the bright golden sun. "You're getting your clothes dirty." He comments, and your tail snaps up at his words, as you roll again to sit on your knees now, some dead leaves caught in your hair- but one flick of your ear and its gone with the wind, while you look at him like you're conflicted.

"I wanna sleep here tonight." You tell him, and his brows lower in confusion.

He's keeping his distance- both because he's not sure if you'll try and jump because down the line it wouldn't surprise him considering your rather... spontaneous nature, and also because your body language screams at him to stay away.

"Its gonna be cold." He tries to reason. "Why'd you wanna sleep outside?" He wants to know, and you become nervous at that, moving your legs around a little to adjust the position in which you're sitting-

And that's when the wind turns a but, making him catch your scent.

Oh.

"Yeah well- you know.." you stammer, nervous. "Even if- you know, you pick up stuff for me, it'll take almost an entire day to, you know, make me not stink anymore.." you mumble more or less, not looking at him.

"You don't stink, idiot." He clicks his tongue, before sighing. This isn't something he'd planned ahead for. "I can still go downtown and pick some shit up if you tell me what you typically take, and I promise my hands stay to myself at night." He tells you.

"Hm yeah cause it's easy for you.." You say almost disappointed.

"What do you mean?" He wants to know, and you turn around at that, your back facing him as you hug your legs.

"Nothin'." You huff stubbornly. "Go get me some Feline Help, or ChangeWay, I don't care which you choose." You mumble almost incoherently into your knees, drawing something in the dirt on the ground with a stick.

"Both of those are-" he argues instantly, well aware that both brands will leave you with heavy side effects, but now you snap your head around, hissing at him.

"Just go! Leave me!" You yell at him, and he forgives your behavior for once because it's not really in your control right now. Preheat can be extremely stressful to hybrids especially when you're used to being on medication for it usually.

Though he has a feeling there's got to be a reason you're especially on edge with him. You should be the exact opposite- so why do you seem to absolutely despise his presence right now?

"Can I leave you here without having to run after you to God knows where after I come back?" He asks, and you glare at him actually angry this time.

"I'm not stupid, Detective Min." You make sure to pronounce his job title and name especially as you talk. "I'm a walking bullseye target for anyone other than you." You huff, and he squints his eyes at that.

"I see." He suddenly says, relaxing. "I get it now."

"Oh my GOD just go and get my drugs, leave!" You yell now, throwing a small rock at him- though you only prove his point, because you clearly intentionally miss him by a lot, no intention to hurt him despite your bitter tone.

"Dont worry, I'll get them." He says, not walking closer, but taking off his jacket before he throws it at you. "But you're wrong, just so you know." He has the audacity to smirk, especially when you grow wide eyed and surprised, entire world view shifted as he gives you an answer to a question you didn't even ask, while he walks back down the metal stairs to his apartment, leaving you alone with your thoughts and his scent around you.

He's absolutely not interested in you-

Or so you thought, it seems.

⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅

-> Series Masterlist

[narwhalandchill]

wait aint no fucking way an actual genshin loretuber even jokingly acknowledged the rabbit hole insanity that is childe 3rd descender theories what the fuck.

is it finally legal for me to break my self imposed silence on the subject without publicly and shamefully removing all my credibility on genshin lore. please please . this is a super fucking vulnerable moment for me guysssss

(under read more bc full disclosure 100% i Will embarrass myself here. this is NOT on my top of the line Childe Theories And Analysis That I Will Defend In Court Under My Legal Name if Questioned list please understand. this is way more self indulgent and wildly speculative for me as much as i do Genuinely see there being a ground for the theory to stand on. ik when im off to the deep end JKWDKJJKWDJKWD)

like seriously be Aware this WILL be a complete mess btw you have all been warned so like no refunds accepted. if youd like to keep an image of me in your head where i am even slightly respectable and realistic when it comes to my theories please stay there. in the light. where the sun shines.

......

...

so. you have chosen death. o7

ok firstly. YES i KNOWW childe 3rd descender theory is batshit stuff thats Why i havent said shit abt it all this time bc i do Not trust myself to be truly objective on the subject bc i Want the theory to be real so bad so its like of course ill readily disregard all other possible candidates for 3rd descender bc bias. and also see it as more plausible that ajax has sth to do w that and make connections more readily. than any lore enthused person existing without his continued rent free existence in their brain for the last 3+ years. so like. yes. listen. i Know i know its prolly not real. but also i must # speak my truth .

anyway the vid didnt even fully touch on all the like. shady fucking shit when it comes to the Curious coincidences. bc like. so firstly the star thing and connections w childe

so wei did bring up the whole . ajax is released on patch 1.1 called "a new star approaches" (and also polar star is his sig) . except like Theres More bc while i was researching random childe brain rot stuff (sadly dont remember/have a link to where i first saw it) . that title in CN is even more pointedly About ajax bc apparently its about a "guest star". and a guest star again according to that post at least is specifically considered an omen of bad luck in chinese astrology. a guest star approaching = a disaster approaching. like mayhaps a ginger guy resurrecting osial or something . huh . maybe ajax Is the guestpilled starmaxxer in that title. the approacherrrrrr, even

secondly. there are some well hidden references to ajax As A Star in the fontaine AQ too. bc the act III where we go looking for him after he goes missing is called "to the stars shining in the depths" except again i have found a source (yes no link to it saved once again my bad) that its titled "to the morning star in the deep water" in chinese. which is again star singular. curious

then theres the act III official description. that goes "the moment it seized its destiny, the star quietly fell from its lofty perch". and like idk abt yall but if its fontaine AQ act III and you ask me WHOS out there seizing their destiny of all things. It Seems Somewhat Plausible To Argue that its PROBABLY referring to the guy thats out there getting teleported to the primordial sea to face the creature thats Literally etched into the stars as his constellation. like . i have a very Difficult time trying to see the star that is seizing its destiny at this moment as Anyone but him reuniting w the narwhal for the first time in a decade and his 1st thought is to throw hands JKJKWDJKWDJKWDJK

(also. "fell from its lofty perch". fell from where. falling towards where. mayhaps even................ descending?????? if Seizing your destiny is taking your fate into your own hands.... a star that Falls from its perch.... that Descends after seizing its destiny....... Curious is all i will say. hey guys do you think your vision would mayhaps begin rejecting you if you start seizing ur own destiny and thus failing to follow the "duty" of predestined fate that same vision had bestowed upon you. guys do you think a star that seizes its destiny and falls from its lofty perch would get vision error 404. guys----)

also this is a smaller thing bc i think ascension mat theories are largely fringe and not that reliable (ning guizhong reincarnation "theories" ThoseWhoKnow) but i do think it can be acknowledged as a sort of. Extension to all these curious references to stars and being A Star when it comes to childe. he does use Star Conches for ascension . so like it can be a little extra on top of the other more serious more Professionally Certified star things hoyo is curiously attaching to him

so like . a star. a star also being a thing the traveler is repeatedly called. its so quirky that this pattern continues. so thats one thing

oh and also. if childes the non-descender (bc he clearly hasnt regained that status Yet) reincarnated soul of the 3rd descender.

you know what. a dead star. if its massive enough. like perhaps massive enough in some genshin metaphysical fantasy way. to be a star that counts as a descender with a will that rivals a world. if a heavy enough. star. dies. you know. you know what they turn into---

[THERE IS A MAD GLEAM IN MY EYES. YOU HEAR BOSS MUSIC.]

Anyway Hello Dear Reader Of Mine Humble Blog Would You Like To Spare A Moment To Discuss How The All-Devouring Narwhal That Consumes Any And All Stellar Object Coming Into Its Orbit Also Known As Ajax' Reflection In Teyvat's Skies Is Essentially A Sentient Living Black Hole And How A Black Hole Is Formed When A Star Dies? No? Okay.

like wouldnt it be super fucking funny if the constellation of the dead descenders reincarnated soul is a creature that for all intents and purposes is a black hole. like. a dead star. wouldnt that be funny

and before you ask. yes i have thoughts that would make ajax & narwhal are soulmates slash halves of the same entity that remains fully compatible with the 3rd descender brainrot but i. will Not subject you people to that. theres "respectably self aware insane theory i indulge in but know the limitations of" and then theres "jens top 10 personal jenshin impact plot twist wishlist please fulfill mr dawei pwease i swear itll be peak" like ffs. it might seem otherwise given the words i am saying right now but i do have Some propriety

the divine halberd was shattered into NINE piece---- (GUNSHOT)

whoa. what a loser high on her own hopium i wonder who that was. good thing the snipers got her ass there

back to your regularly scheduled programming. obviously theres other things that would very conveniently be explained by this 3rd descender shit as well like. dead eyes. soul of a dead descender thats in Literal Pieces body wise. the dead star that carries a curse above ground upon first making contact with the truth of his being aka post abyss training camp post meeting his mirror imaged destiny in his narwhal. a curse like mayhaps bringing chaos whenever he goes. an incompatibility with the world. drawing everything into his orbit being the eye of the storm or perhaps... the Singularity???? the event horizon??? a source of endless unrest and disaster........ just like the curse of a gnosis TEE HEE .

anyway super funny how that goes. and then another thing wei didnt really. fully go into is naturally the

(DEEP BREATH)

3rd son of his family with 3 older siblings and 3 younger siblings 3rd limited character ever released with 3 names and the 3rd weekly boss with 3 phases each representing 3 unique sources of power (vision, delusion and foul legacy) a 3 petaled symbol aka the triquetra of riptide and six in-game constellations divided into 3 subgroups with 3 unique prefixes (foul legacy, abyssal mayhem, havoc in eng) 3 days missing from teyvat and 3 months spent in abyss is 3rd to wield foul legacy after surtalogi and skirk

also the first character to receive a 3rd rateup banner ANYWAY (also the possible. is the 3rd reincarnation of the original ajax thing. but yeas)

[Me When I'm In A Be Suspiciously Associated With The Number 3 Competition And My Opponent Is Childe Ajax Tartaglia]

isnt it just silly. how many times it comes up. Nobody talk to meeeee its so over

theres prolly some other things too that i have driven myself to madness with when thinking abt this but idr em right now and like . not like this is any manner of serious respectable theory anyway sooooooooo

anyway ill stop embarrassing myself now. like as i said i have been legally forcing myself into silence on this bc listen. i KNOW this is bullshit i KNOW im a deranged biased childe main who will do Anything just to cook up a fantasy version of genshins endgame lore where My Dude is at the center stage and gets to be a massive fucking deal yes 100% deserve to be disqualified on account of terminal stage blorbo bias when it comes to theories on the subject i just. the fact that this is the FIRST time i see Any loretuber person acknowledge the theory. i just had to come in here and let it be known that. Yes. ive been seeing this shit and thinking abt it SINCE 4.2 dropped since that stupid fucking note about forsaking the self and being reborn in the abyss as a holy infant or a primordial human or a descender and that somehow Thats called Ajax. of all things. its horribleeee it eats me alive

[quodekash]

PART 2 OF DANGEROUS ROMANCE EP4 COMMENTARY BC I HAVE TOO MANY THOUGHTS AND RAN OUT OF SCREENSHOTS

because of them, im now gonna start sobbing every time someone throws a peace sign at me

HELL YES

IM SO PROUD OF MY BOY

YUOU DID SO GOOD KANG

I KNEW YPU COULD DO IT

AIUOGHKJERPODHFKN

NOOOOOOO

FRICK

my boy is having many thoughts. none of them good.

I can hear his crisis and him blaming himself because now he thinks it's his fault that sailom's gonna get beat up, and he's sad for himself that he doesn't have a reason to spend time with sailom anymore, and now his grandma's gonna be disappointed in him for failing something, and there's definitely some thoughts in the mix there about his dad and the bike he bought him and kang is so certain he doesn't deserve the bike, I could go on but I wont because I would like to finish this episode before the sun rises and currently that doesnt seem all too likely

well DUH

YOU COULD SEE IT FROM MARS (and now im thinking about soundwin. frick.)

tell him

tellllll himmmmmm

tell him he lent the umbrella to youuuuu

and you've treasured it forever perhaps?

OMG HE'S TELLING HIM???

DUDE THEYRE ACTUALLY LISTENING TO ME SO MUCH THIS EPISODE THIS IS SO RARE

chances are either the bus or Kang's car is gonna show up before he'll get it out, bUT ONCE AGAIN, LET ME BASK IN THIS RARE MOMENT OF GLORY AND POWER

BOOM

CALLED IT

I know it's super cliche and everyone probably saw that coming but I dont care, im gonna let myself feel almighty powerful

I just. I will never understand why they dont just like quickly tell the person before leaving. or like yell at him while getting on the bus. OR EVEN text him while on the bus, immediately after getting on. that's what id do, cos if I dont tell them right then and there, I guarantee you I will forget to ever tell them, and then it'll keep me up at night for ages but never at a moment where I actually think about telling them, and then three or four years later ill finally tell them and it'll be so insignificant by then but it doesnt matter because I FINALLY TOLD THEM THE THING

I really hope he remembers to give at least one of those umbrellas back to kang

mans is not waterproof, he needs an umbrella

respect for auto just went down down prices are down

crypto? seriously honey?

IT'S SO CHEESY

IT'S SO CLICHE

AND IM CRYING ABOUT IT BECAUSE SOMEHOW I BOTH IRONICALLY AND UNIRONICALLY LOVE CHEESY AND CLICHE MOMENTS WITH ALL MY FRIKIN SOUL

EW

SPORTS

I hate sports days so much

thankfully id always be allowed to just not go to school instead of being forced to participate in athletics and swimming carnivals and cross country and stuff, and I will be forever grateful to my parents for that

they're in love btw

just in case anyone forgot

I didn't forget

I can't forget about them

my brain wont allow it

IT'S JUST

ITS JUST SO SWEET

I THINK IM GOING INSANE, THEY HATE EACH OTHER AND WANT TO KILL EACH OTHER SO BADLY THAT IT'S LITERALLY ROMANTIC

THIS IS PINING

HE IS PINING

PL E A SE CAN THEY KISS

NAWA'S HEAD TILT????? LIKE THEYRE LITERALLY ABOUT TO KISS IDK WHAT TO TELL YOU

two things to say here

one: view, please marry me

two: kang and sailom definitely have the same responsibilities

just KISS

I can't deal with the longing stares anymore

im like 80% certain they wont kiss this episode but I so badly want them to

NOOOO THEYRE NOT IN THE SAME GROUP THINGY

....but (hehe butt)

...maybe

...perhaps

I think kang might pull some strings to end up in the same department as sailom? maybe??

IM DYING, THERE'S A MARC AND A PAVIN (which sounded like pawin)

THEY GAVE UP THINKING OF NAMES FOR THE RANDOM CLASSMATES

ooooo he is listening to their conversationnnnnn

AND THEYRE GONNA INTERACT IN A FRIKIN BATHROOM??? I SWEAR, EVERYONE IN THIS SHOW IS SOUNDWIN CODED, IDK WHAT TO TELL YOU

5ER6CYVTGUOBHIOVTRC6DE5S4E57RCVYUBHUVTRDS3GTFD46F7GY8H

I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY

THEYRE JUST SO

HE'S SO GOUERGJND

LMAO YOU IDIOT

(we're getting so many cheesy cliches right after each other and I am so here for it, I love this so much)

now kiss

OH

OH THIS IS THIS PART???? DAMN

he needs money to pay off his debts, so... he's gonna take a job offer from the guy he pays his debts to? feels kinda pointless, right?

also in this series, pepper reminds me of tor, specifically in midnight museum, so part of my mind thinks hes gonna offer him a job at the museum

LMAO

'MYNAME6969'

I WANT TO KNOW WHO PUT THAT IN THERE AND GIVE THEM A HIGH FIVE BECAUSE THATS FRIKIN HILARIOUS, WHOEVER SNUCK THAT IN THERE

IM DYING I LOVE THAT SO MUCH

as someone who sprained an ankle a little over a month ago, I have some points to make

namely: saifah is right. the first 72 hours are the most important, as long as you're resting it, keeping it elevated, icing it, compressing it, you'll be all good to walk on it in no time. after that, you need to make sure you're still taking care of it, like by wearing a compression sock all the time, and not walking on it too much if it starts hurting, stuff like that. that's the part I didnt do. I took care of it for three days, then kept walking on it like nothing happened, and it's still really painful sometimes, it never properly healed, but like it's fine im surviving

OH I DO NOT LIKE THIS, I DO NOT LIKE THIS AT ALL

HE'S SO OLD

ICKY I FEEL ICKY

there's nothing wrong with the work he's doing, it's just the fact that he's still a kid and thats a 50 year old man

on another note, I ran out of bloody images AGAIN

AND ON ANOTHER NOTE, ITS NEARLY 2AM. IVE BEEN WATCHING FOR NEARLY 2 AND A HALF HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN THREE QUARTERS THROUGH THE EPISODE, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME

[stellarred]

REVISITING STAR TREK PICARD

In STP S2: 7 "Monsters" (Rewatching bc i can't help but torture myself in the name of Qcard), while he lies unconscious on a table in La Clinica Mariposa, Picard finds himself in a surprise therapy session with DS9's Dr. Bashir for some reason.

I honestly dont think that was Bashir he was talking to.

I strongly believe that Bashir was actually Q bc of some things he said, did, and the way he acted with Picard.

Bashir asked Picard if he was feeling closed in when he was squirming, as in "feeling claustrophobic?"

Picard confirmed he did, and Bashir said that "those who don't like feeling closed in want to be free in the "infinite cosmos."

Bashir draws a parallel between Picard and Q bc

Q is claustrophobic, too. Remember Dejà Q and Worf pushing him into a turbolift?

"Hey, I'm claustrophobic; I don't like it in here."--Q

Who lives to be free in the infinite cosmos? Q, of course.

And so does Picard.

Bashir also mentions "judge and jury" at some point and uses the name "Jean-Luc" a lot.

I didn't think he and Picard were on a first name basis. Q is, though.

Bashir also keeps talking about the Sun, which is a representation of Q. He even hands Picard the Sun, forcing him to look at it, reflect on it, appreciate it.

It's so interesting how Bashir almost mocks Picard's commitment to being ethical, too. He has this almost sneer when he throws a bit of shade at Starfleet even, and then goes on about Picard not embracing his more wild side. Tapestry Q anyone?

Is Q a fan of Starfleet? Not really. It fits that he'd mock and deride Starfleet and Picard's devotion to it, right?

Why would Bashir do that? Unless he wasn't Bashir....

I also found Bashir rather seductive in his tone with Picard. When he probes Picard about why he's always "holding others at arms length", I swear he looks sad.

Did anyone notice that?

I mean it. On DS9, Bashir is usually calm, cool, pragmatic, and reasonable. I don't recall seeing such intensity with Garak most of the time.

But this Bashir is very intense and almost pleading.

His face looks hurt.

Did anyone notice how Bashir even turns away from Picard when asking him about his apprehension to let others in (his heart), only to turn and ask with hurt eyes, "Why?"

Picard then realizes that he's stuck emotionally. He's stuck. Rios, Raffi, Seven, Agnes. Especially Q. They're all stuck in the past.

How interesting that Q has been trying to help heal Picard with his fear, and now "Bashir" "leads him" to this realization???

Man, he's quick. That's one uber talented therapist!

I just don't buy that Bashir did this. I think it was Q.

Same goes for when Bashir acts as a stand in for Picard's father. Picard said he was a monster, but Bashir shows him that his father wasn't out to really hurt Maman Picard. Again, this Bashir just showed and replayed a major key moment in Picard's traumatized past and then Picard suddenly understood???

How did Bashir know what to do? Q understands Picard better than anyone.

How is Bashir such a genius with Picard's pain?

Then, "Bashir" hands him the book with the Q Sun drawing.

Remember who loves you, Picard?

Another Sun reminder. Another reminder of Q.

Twice does Picard get handed a Q Sun, so why is Bashir doing this???

Then, Picard wakes up and tells the Laris lookalike therapist about his realization about Q wanting him to know him.

Why would Bashir help guide him to Q anyway?

Now, Q wants to help Picard heal his traumas and open his heart to others (to him, let's be honest here)

If Picard won't go to therapy, then let therapy come to Picard.

Q knows that Picard wouldn't give Q the time of day in listening to him, but Picard would listen to a familiar doctor, like Bashir.

I'm wondering if Q had enough strength and powers left to act as Bashir and create this therapy intervention.

His finger snaps didn't work, but we've seen Q focus his eyes and mind on things before to use his powers. Like at the end of Tapestry. Q is dying, yes.

But, what if this was Q's Hail Mary?

What if Q used the last of a different category of Q Powers? No to teleportation. Nada with telekinesis. No more finger snapping.

What if this was Q's final "disguise", "mind insertion"?

Because Q is desperate to reach Picard, this may have been his only shot at guiding Picard to that moment where he suddenly realizes that Q isn't the enemy.

Amazing how quickly Picard realizes and understands this!

Therapy can take years, and seeing a longtime "enemy" in a whole new light doesn't usually happen in 20 minutes.

This show absolutely sucks, but I think the only way to make any sense of it is to consider larger connections that aren't exactly spelled out.

Some of you reading this may write it off as fluffy headcanon.

You may be right.

But, considering how "intellectual" they wanted the show to be, I wouldn't be surprised at all if there were subtexts abound all over the place.

It's so satisfying when the oh-so subtle pieces fit together and it makes sense.

I 100% believe Q was behind this. He was running out of time, and with only three episodes left in the show (bc the show had to focus on all that Agnes Borg stuff, even though the show is supposed to be all about Picard 🙄), Q had to step it up.

We were running out of show episodes, so Q had to move things along with Picard.

As Q said to Picard in Episode 2: Penance, "Do you want me to cut to the chase?"

I say someone definitely cut to the chase with Picard in that therapy session and replay of his childhood. How efficient was all that?

That's the work of someone who knows exactly which points to highlight to Picard.

Shame the writers didn't know to highlight the best points of the season, which were Q/Picard-related.

Instead, we got prison busses, Borg drama, and cocktail parties.

Q, you got shortchanged.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[agp]

i get thrown in the psych ward cause im tired and hungry and need a walk in the desert where i avoid temptation again. except they all eat when the suns up and fast when the suns down its insane over there

then im released for a week but i misplace my keys on the long weekend and freak out pretty hard. so they throw me back up there and release me after a whole week of wasting each others time again

now i lost my wallet and im so tired and hungry i dont wanna do dishes and feed myself fuck that nonsense its ramadan i wanna go out to eat but i cant use my debit its lost and i cancelled it now. i need my friends to talk to me again it sucks living my life. its the exact opposite of jesus if you ask me but its ok the antichrist killed herself a long time ago. im suicidal again is the problem because its the end times and they want simon back. so yeah i might go back to the psych ward a third time. ill bring this phone with me though.

[same-pic-of-the-sun-everyday]

Oh, I bring a poem, the last I plan to bring. I find myself torn between vanishing or taking off my mask. This vague grey face I wear may shed soon enough, or I may simply slide away without much more than this farewell. I find that throwing rose petals at the sun’s feet doesn’t do much other than scatter a flower’s wings into the cosmos. However, I do bid you a pleasant ado, as much of a goodbye as it may be!

this is... different

i dont want you to stop, anon

this will haunt me to my deathbed of stars

please

remove thy mask

please

[motherphoebe]

The Parting Glass

Annie Cresta's time as a career tribute in the 70th Hunger Games. Canon compliant, as of right now this fic will be mostly head cannon as we know so little until the original trilogy. I wanted to add so much more to this, but I dont think I would've ever posted if I kept editing it lmao. I also posted this on my ao3 account, same username as here! enjoy and please leave feedback ngl i need to be hyped up!

Chapter 1:

next chapter

The first thing I do is throw the quilt off of my legs.

The open window does little to aid in cooling down the room, the relentless summer heat did not cool throughout the night and now the opened curtains also let in the blinding morning sun. It takes a moment to get past my drowsiness, but eventually I reluctantly move my sweaty body from the small bed, hanging my legs off the side and holding my head in my hands.

I wish the sweltering heat were the reason for my restless night. Today is reaping day, and the salty air somehow doesn’t feel as peaceful as usual and does little to calm my nerves. My chest tightens and I quickly try to calm myself. I reach for my tying rope and think about last night, my time at the beach, swimming with a large group of friends, the peaceful waves, the moon, and surprisingly I find my breathing subtly calm. I wish today weren't reaping day, I wish they’d cancel the games all together, I wish a lot of things. I tie and untie my rope, and slowly accept that wishing won’t change the events of today and what is expected of me as an eighteen year old living in Panem.

Every year, the Capitol hosts a Hunger Games, and the first step is a reaping ceremony in which each of the 12 districts have to produce a male and female tribute. It’s to keep us scared and unwilling of rebellion, the fate of children 12 to 18, in the hands of the Capitol to be escorted into an arena to fight to the death. My thoughts are interrupted when I hear my older siblings greeting my parents in the other room, and suddenly my sisters bursting into the bedroom we used to share.

“Annie!” I take in her ecstatic demeanor and can't help but smile. I gasp and make a teasingly shocked face, while examining the gifts she came bearing: A new dress, and cherries.

“Muriel, you’re planning on sharing those right?”

My mouth waters at the sight of the cherries, and I wonder how she was able to afford them, along with the dress. It’s not like we have a surplus of money, and cherries are usually outrageously expensive when sold at the market. Her and I, and our older brother, Skipper, picked up jobs as soon as we could to help our parents, but now that she’s married, maybe she can afford such luxuries. Muriel makes beautiful tapestries using the flowers and plants that line the shores, and they've always seemed to sell quite well at the market, along with her handmade jewelry. My brother, Skipper, started repairing boats with my father once they were back from their shifts out at sea. The pair's services are relatively cheap and extremely effective, the people of 4 with boats need them functioning to be able to live so there’s always business.

Muriel exaggerates the shaking of her head, acting like she’s keeping the gifts to herself, then instantly breaks character, smiling and handing the fruit to me, carefully hanging the light blue dress off the chair. I can see the worry she’s trying to hide in her eyes.

“And is this dress new? Muriel these gifts are so nice they must have cost you a fortune, please let me pay you back-”

“I got them for you.” She cuts me off, putting my head in her hands “Plus, you wouldn’t be able to pay me back anyway.”

She’s joking but she’s not wrong; while she and Skipper found real jobs, I found peacefulness, and a very small income compared to the two of them. I started helping our neighbor, Mrs. Ahearn, by teaching some of her swimming lessons. It doesn’t pay well and I probably couldn’t save enough to buy even some grain at the market after a month of work, but there’s something about teaching the younger children of my district that makes it worth it. Still so innocent, too young to be put into the training academy, their parents still shielding their eyes when the games are playing, the worst things that could happen to them so far away. Plus, it’s a great way to meet the people in town, most of the kids are the younger siblings of friends i’ve known for years, and honestly, it’s better than being at home. The house feels empty now that both my siblings have left.

Muriel moves her hands and pulls me into a hug, our heads resting on each other's shoulders. “You still being in the reaping makes me feel worse than when I was. I know you’ll be fine Annie, but the sooner we’re all done with this the better. Better for mom and dad too, you know it scares them to death. Can I help you get ready?”

I nod my head in agreement, and soon my mouth is full of cherry pits. The reaping scares all of us, my father says that’s the point and it’s been obvious to me that our parents have had enough stress from the reapings in their lives. The second Skipper was ten, he was the first of us to enter the training academy after school, and once we were all old enough to be reaped, it seemed everything tied back to being a lesson on how we could win the Hunger Games, fishing, strength, knowledge. After surviving his own childhood possibility of being reaped, putting us in the training academy was my fathers small way of finding comfort in the uncontrollable, it gave him the peace of mind many other parents found refuge in; that if the odds hadn’t been in their families favor, their child could at least have a chance.

Muriel starts with my hair, stating something about my ‘messy cherry hands’ staining the pastel blue of the linen dress, and to keep them far away. Her hands are calloused, reflecting those of someone who’s worked a majority of their life, weaving and unweaving nets, creating her tapestries and intricate jewelry. She’s so precise in the way she does my hair, something I'm so grateful for. Choosing specific strands, tying them under or over, I’ve never been able to replicate these styles for her though, no matter how hard I try.

The thought of being reaped is horrifying, but there’s no comfort in the children I’ve known forever being reaped instead, it sends a shudder down my spine, and I feel the panic slowly seeping into my chest. The most recent victor we’ve had in District 4 is Finnick Odair. Although he’s a year older than me and a grade above, I remember him fondly from our short time together in the academy, but even more strongly I remember my fear when he was reaped at fourteen. His capability of winning so young makes me feel weak, and honestly dumb for being so horrified at age eighteen. It seemed all everyone was obsessing over during his games were his looks, but all I could think about was how kind he’d been to me, and how quickly he’d turned into a killer to survive. Somehow I found comfort in that thought. If he’d gone through only four years of the training I’ve had and won, I should be confident in my skills after eight.

I hadn’t realized my foot was tapping aggressively until Muriel placed her hand on my knee and I immediately stopped while she leaned her head down to my face.

“It’s okay to be nervous, Annie, I’m nervous too, probably safe to say all the Cresta’s are nervous. But, we will all be fine tonight, for our celebratory dinner and beach swim, right?” She has tears building in her eyes, “You’ll have to be fine Annie, this is your last year! Only one more and we will all be okay.”

The tears begin to roll down her cheeks in small lines that rush over her blushed face, while she tries to convince both of us.

Muriel has always been free to be overtly emotional, her strength is not relied on to keep others strong. If I ever cried or showed my weakness like this to any of my family, i’m afraid it would shatter them into a million little pieces— Annie Cresta, the baby of the family, so scared and so weak and completely unsaveable by any of them— so I put on a strong face, and push back the tears.

“You know i’ll be just fine Muriel, my name is only in there seven times. The odds have been in our favor the past ten years since Skippers first reaping, I have no doubt of our family's luck.”

I can’t help but wipe my cherry stained hands on my old sleeping shirt I’m sure was hers before reaching up and wiping her tears, just before pulling her into a tight hug. I take whatever doubt I have in my own statement and shove it deep within me, refusing to let my worries get to me, especially now.

My words slightly comfort Muriel, but when my mother walks in, a whole new feeling of serenity washes over us, whether it's forced or not.

“Hello, oh! My sweet Poppy!” she enters the room with a weary face, and once seeing her two daughters in a sorrowful hug, she rushes over to press a gentle kiss to my cheek. My mother and Muriel are so similar, not just in their looks, with beautiful big brown eyes and dark blonde hair, but in attitude as well. Of course, my mother and sister are strong, our whole family is strong, but they are not afraid to let their softer sides show. Whether it’s Muriel’s tears or my mother’s tender affection, it works for them, it makes them stronger to be so emotionally available, but it doesn’t seem to come as easily to the rest of us. While Skipper seems to be a somewhat perfect mix of my mother and father in looks and personality, I look into the mirror now and see my father in every way. Dark brown some what curly hair, sea foam green eyes and tan skin, the need to be strong for the people around us.

“You look beautiful, as always.” She says simply, bringing her palm to her own face to stub her tears. She walks around to the back of my head where Muriel’s progress with my hair had come to a brief pause. She turns me towards the dirty mirror, and I can see the beautiful intricate half braid my sister has done on the top layers of my hair, leaving the rest long and freely curling naturally. Muriel adds a starfish and pearl necklace she made for me years ago on my 12th birthday, and my mother adds a beautiful poppy orange bow that stands out beautifully in my dark brown hair. “It reminded me of you, Ula’s mother was selling them yesterday. It’s almost time to leave, make sure you’re dressed soon.”

She places another soft kiss on the top of my head and then leaves the room. She has called me her Poppy for as long as I can remember, saying I'm just as bright as the beautiful orange flower that grows all over District 4. Muriel follows her out, adjusting the necklace around my neck, “It gets worse each year, but I believe in you, Annie.” I want to comfort her, tell her I’ll be fine, but I can’t trust the stability in voice to make it convincing. Instead I acknowledge her sentiment by simply nodding.

As we walk to the ceremony, I try to stay present in my family's conversation, but my mind keeps drifting away. Every child I see my age has a target on their back, even myself, and none of us know who will be hit. I don’t let this show in my face, keeping a steady smile and waving to my fellow peers, who I've grown so close to. The reaping ceremony is already awful, but when you’re so acquainted in such a tightly knit community, there is no getting out unscathed, It’s always someone I know.

Once we arrive at the square in front of the justice building, my chest tightens and I’m forced now to strictly focus on my breathing. Being the only one in the family eligible to be reaped, I’m forced to part from as they continue towards the viewing area. Our separation is short and sweet, just a simple discussion of where we will meet once the ceremony concludes. I search almost desperately for someone to stand with while waiting to check in. Of course there’s a surplus of children my age, most I know quite well, but I’m not sure who to start a conversation with. I see Ula and decide her normally timid personality would be perfect.

We shuffle into the eighteen year old group, and quickly get pushed through the line to the standing area right before the stage. I thank her for the bow even though her mother made it, and that’s about all we say to each other. Even though I’m surrounded by friends from school or the training academy, I refrain from saying much more. There's not much to say, in a perfect world it would be none of us, maybe the games would be canceled, but the worlds not perfect and “hope it's you not me” isn't really the most comforting sentiment.

The mayor takes the stage, starting with his usual speech and directing us to watch the screens positioned above us, and I prepare myself to doze off. I know nothing important happens until the escort, Prisca Luminara, takes the stage, then I’ll be forced to pay attention, but for now I can stare at the screens and pretend to watch. The usual video plays about the Dark Days, a time of war and rebellion, and why we must participate in the Hunger Games. It’s not until I see Prisca walk up to the microphone, her silver tied up hair immediately catching my attention, that I tune in. First she introduces District 4’s previous victors , we actually have quite a few, but there’s been no one new since Finnick Odair won 5 years ago.

I find myself looking at Finnick, the way the sun reflects off his bronze hair, and realize the girls at school aren’t wrong, he’s beautiful. Honestly I’d never realized, the last conversations we had were so friendly. Both of us were so young, joking about mermaids and seaweed, I’ve preferred thinking of him that way since, not as the man he’s supposedly become.

I accidentally think about him for far too long, and don't fully tune in until Prisca announces that it’s time to pick the tributes.

“As always, ladies first! Remember, volunteering must wait until both tributes have been reaped!”

Her posh accent ringing through my ears while she steps towards the glass ball holding the female tribute's names. Six of those slips hold the name ‘Annie Cresta’, carefully folded and thrown in with the rest. Prisca pulls the tributes name and I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. I follow the actions of my peers as they slowly make a circle, it must have been someone from my age group.

“Annie Cresta! Don’t be shy, dear come up!”

Suddenly I realize what’s going on, I gather myself the best I can and somehow begin walking down the main aisle towards the stage. It takes all my strength to keep my head up, a kind smile holding my face together to hide my absolute shock. Eventually I reach the stage, smiling to Prisca as she takes my hand to lead me to my place, I even tell her thanks. The humid heat is even more unbearable up here, and I do everything in my power to avoid the faces of my peers below me, knowing how easily it could break this smile and fall into a puddle of tears.

“Perfect! Now for the boys!” Her heels are louder now that I'm onstage, and I can see her jewel encrusted nails searching in the bowl for the next tribute.

“Bodie Cormoran”

Now it seriously takes everything in me to not collapse to the floor. When I hear his name, avoiding eye contact with the crowd is not my biggest worry; I know him, I know him far too well. I immediately see the eighteen year old boy's fluffy auburn hair, making his way to the stage. His usual tall and stocky build seems only half as sturdy as it normally is, although the small defeat in his shoulders is probably only noticeable to those who know him closely. Soon, he’s being led by Prisca to the spot next to me as she chatters about her excitement. As soon as I make eye contact with him, I give him a reassuring look. I receive one in return, a small smile and nod, but his eyes show me how horrified he is. It’s because we will be going in together, if one of us lives, it ensures the other one’s death.

“Now do we have any volunteers? Remember folks, you cannot volunteer for someone who has already volunteered!”

She seems to be expecting a lot more action, but the time to volunteer comes and goes, and the only sound that fills the square is the waves from the far off sea. I hide my disappointment behind my small smile while staring forward towards the cameras. I need to play this exactly the way I’ve been trained, and for now I have to seem relentlessly strong, a true career tribute from District 4.

But when they ask for the tributes to shake hands, I can’t help but hug Bodie instead.

[amalgamezz]

About your aro post in your tags you said you don’t care for any loves (romantic, familial [<- I don’t feel that one too :D] etc.) does that go for friendships as well? Or are you more of a person who doesn’t care for connection at all? I hope I worded that right…

heya, thank you for this ask, and no worries, your wordings are fine! sorry, this will be a long one because my audhd demands that i should provide full contexts 😔

as i interacted and got to know more about aplatonic and loveless communities, i found a certain solidarity/kinship with them. ever since i was in elementary, friendship has never been something i actively seek myself. i still got along well with classmates. my relationships with coworkers are chill and good. i have mutuals and friendly acquaintances here and there to talk about our shared interests. i try to maintain a good relationship with my family because capitalism sucks ass, especially for single people. in a way, this, too, is how i practice relationship anarchy — to give each casual and non-casual relationship i have a function and learn to appreciate them instead of putting the burdens on one or two committed relationships. for me, friendship has become a label for happy coincidences born out of those relationships after long and frequent interactions, if both parties desire a name for it. i have some positive connections with friends who i trust with my life, and i would mourn intensively should i lose them, but tbh, im not sure if i would personally call it "love".

i was lovequeer before i am loveless. im actually still considering myself lovequeer in a way that i strongly believe that love doesnt have to be romantic and that no kind of love is superior to the other. my personal relationship with love is complicated, but mostly sour. as an aro, i am a fierce defender of non-romantic loves. it annoys me greatly when people casually throw amatonormative phrases such as "there is no platonic explanation for this" or "friends dont do that" around. it is usually a hopeless and lonely battle because people dont really care about "not all loves are romantic" until you reject the concept of love altogether. more often than not, it becomes a gotcha towards aros who express their frustration with obsession over love by society.

this frustration, too, drew me closer to the concept of lovelessness. lovelessness means different things to different people, but for me, its the rejection of love being a superior, necessary, or moral trait of a human being. i had a knee-jerk reaction at first when i learned the term, but the more i read about it and introspect, the more it resonates with me. i remember how my parents hit me when i was a kid. i remember my aunt chewed me out in front of my entire family for expressing my wish to stay single and childless. i remember being driven to tears as my dad sneakily threw out a gift from my friend that i hung on my car and replaced it with a rosary. when asked why, they said because they wanted what was best for me. because they wanted me to be happy. because they loved me. it all sounded contradictory, but i have been with them long enough to know that they were being genuine. i dont wanna think its not a real love because i dont find it useful and more often than not, it only makes me question myself if i have been a fair evaluator and get guilty when i think im not. instead, i just have to accept that good intentions dont always bring good outcomes. their love is real, but its like a sun that burns and hurts more intensively the closer i get to it. i started coming to terms with love being a neutral but strong emotional motive that drives humans to do something — just like pleasure, joy, anger, sadness, envy, etc. whether you do good, bad, or neither because of it solely depends on you. i can acknowledge that they love me, but that doesnt mean they should be able to use it as an excuse to hurt me. this applies to all kinds of love.

i have nothing against love or the people who cherish it, but as i start dissecting and understanding more about love, it becomes less and less significant in my life. i start to realise that i dont need to love someone to bring them happiness or do good for them. i dont need to love my friends to care for or emotionally support them when they need it. i dont need to love my mutuals or even strangers to consider donating for their groceries. i dont need to love the victims of war to condemn the hideous crimes committed against them by some certain govts. love doesnt make me human. i just simply am, and im happy with the loveless relationships/connections i currently have.

[dreamcorechild]

[Kokushibo had to lead the two dimwits to the classroom Muzan resides himself in. Rows of chairs and seats were left out in a straight line, Akaza can see where this is going... This was a lesson to all demons, all uppermoons were here.. All had their face to express boredom.]

Kaigaku: "About time.. What were you two even doing??"

Akaza: "Making sure this drooling bastard doesn't go anywhere near my wife."

Doma: "Making sure this slow poke catch up."

Kokushibo: "Making sure these two are present instead of slacking off like dickheads."

Muzan: "......."

Kokushibo: "I know what your gonna say sir.. You dont have to scream it out on us."

Muzan: ".... Just sit down..."

[His back was turned away. Now focusing on the chalkboard where he can write down all the meanings and what its like to be working for the lord of all demons.. Much to his fellows grunts and sighs...]

Muzan: "Dont you guys wanted to be smart?!?!"

Gyutaro: "Whats the fucking point of us being here if were already smart enough!!!"

Gyokko: "Yeah! I even got myself a diploma for my artistic work!!"

Nakime: "I don't think thats how it works..."

Urogi: *Snores*

Sekido: "WAKE UP YOU NIMROD!!!!!"

Urogi: *Bird screeching noises*

Karaku: "Hey Muzan.. What are we gonna learn today, Hmm?"

Muzan: "Thats a good question, For example.. Were gonna learn about your blood demon arts."

Akaza: "Oh boy...."

Zohakuten: "And why exactly?"

Muzan: "BECAUSE YOU ALL BARELY USE THEM!!!!!!!!!"

[While the gentleman was distracted by focusing on his handwriting. Gyutaro pulled out a large boombox, He winked at Daki. Which she pulled out a disc that contains music from each genres.. Aizetsu saw and was tempted to put his hands out to alert Muzan.. He didn't notice.. Soon.. His ears were ringing with agony.]

"Caipirinha Caipirinha

Oho, Aha

Bamboleo Mambolinha

Caipirinha Caipirinha

Oho, Aha

Bamboleo Mambolinha"

SMASH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gyutaro: "What the hey- Oh.... Shit."

[Muzan's hand was inside the boombox. He pulled it away, grabbing it tightly before throwing it out the window.. he pointed his finger at Gyutaro. Clenching a book on the other hand. His face was as deep as stress.... Some say that the man needed to go to anger management class. Which Muzan would refuse to recognize..]

Muzan: "... Your lucky that I ain't hitting you with this heavy ass book Gyutaro.. And as for your sister... Your lucky that I aint shoving your face to the top part of an oven."

Daki: *Gulps*

Gyutaro: "S... Sorry sir.. It wont happen again.."

Muzan: "Your damn right it wont... And I swear to sun lords god.. If I see another mishaps by any one of you retards.. I wont hesitate to bring something far worse than discipline.."

[This had shut everyone up... Nakime strummed her biwa, Letting them know that break time was around the corner. A perfect time for Muzan to finish off his teachings out their abilities to use their blood demon arts for their goals and other missions that none of them would complete without their powers...]

[Gyutaro and Daki couldn't get over the fact that their boombox was destroyed so easily by one man with one punch. Delinquents as they are.. They decided that someone must pay for their hellish deeds... Aizetsu was at the wrong place and at the wrong time when their eyes glanced down at him from a far...]

Aizetsu: "... Huh...?"

[Hesitant and fear was growing on the sorrow demon... The two duo of brother and sister loomed over him, Their maniacal smile made the demon ache with realization.. They were going to hurt him, if he didn't manage to defend himself..]

Gyutaro: "We know what you were trying to do Aizetsu!! You were trying to tell on us!!"

Aizetsu: "W..Well yeah.. You guys shouldn't be playing music in the middle of a lesson!"

Daki: "So what, You should have ignored us... And besides.. Muzan was draining our fun by forcing us to listen to his rants about our lack of ability.."

Aizetsu: "... Thats what happens when he looses himself and pinning the blame on us... You should know that.. He is a hard working gentleman who lost his will and trust to humans because of some doctor..."

Gyutaro: "Oh yes.. All bad guys have heart breaking backstories.. What do you think of mine.. They were gonna kill me and my sister!!"

Akaza in the background: "My backstory was far more gut wrenching than yours Gyutaro!"

Gyutaro: "SHUT IT BASKETBALL HEAD!!!!"

Aizetsu: "Can you two just at least stop acting like bullies. You know that this will be the only time we get to take part in some school methods?!?!"

[After he said that. He felt a large heavy blow on his stomach, the organs inside were crushed by the fists of the ragged cabbage head. His sister watched it all go down, Aizetsu couldn't move his hands... He felt his head bashing to the hard wooden floor. Gyutaro landed more hits and blows on him, His tooth shattered. His nose broken. And his chest stamped on. Gyutaro was only doing one thing thats makes him feel better... Letting out his anger towards another helpless being... To be precise.. Aizetsu the sorrow demon..]

Aizetsu: "ARGHHH.. GAHHH!!!!!"

[He couldn't reach for his spear.. Daki kicked it away from him, Unable to do anything.. He could only cry with sickening howls..]

Aizetsu: "Help... Help!!!"

Gyutaro: "Arghhh!!! you already fucked me and my sister up with your tattletale lies.. But no problem! We all know which businesses were in when it comes to dealing other's improving deeds!! You will cry blood!! And see who is more of the baddest assholes around here!!"

[He was close to stamp his foot deep inside his chest. Almost as deep to make contact with his heart and lungs.. He felt a hand touching the left side of his shoulder.. The feeling of more than one presence were behind him.. Gyutaro looked back, growling like a dog until a unexpected attack has occurred.. A fist pummeled into his left cheek. Pushing him back far and away from AIzetsu.]

Daki: "ONI-CHAN!!!!"

Gyutaro: "GAAAAAAHHH. WHO DID THAT.... WHO PUNCHED ME... YOU MOTHER FUCKERS!!!!"

Sekido: ".... What were you doing to our brother... Why did you beat him like a dog?!?!"

Daki: "O-Uh oh..."

[Sekido stood in front of Aizetsu.. The sorrow demon howled like a cub.. His fetal position didn't seem to make it better for his brothers to endure.. Urogi picked up the beaten living soul, comforting him while his sharpen eagle eyes of joy stabbed through Gyutaro and Daki deeply with his wings flapping aggressively.. Karaku pulled out his Uchiwa fan, showing his displeasure frown while Zohakuten stood next to his older brother.. Their faces and mixed anger and hatred were the primary fear that stuns their enemies hearts...]

Urogi: "Look what you joyless rats have done!!! You could have fatally injure him!!"

Karaku: "Guess it shows how mind loss we are when it comes to Muzan's plans... Huh... No deal.. You wouldn't want us to be more serious over our support of one another, do you?"

[Sekido pulled out his Khakkhara from his hand, Swiping it up and slamming it down. Casting a huge wave of electricity towards the siblings. Gyokko watched it as it all goes crashing down. He wanted to record it all. But by the damages of the school and its maintain structure would doom to collapse.. He had no other decisions but to tell Muzan.]

Gyutaro: "Very well then... Lets dance!!!"

[Gyutaro sharpened up his decayed flesh sickles, Flaying out his liquid gushing flow of blood that he controls. Daki wanted to join in on the action. But due to her trauma of her head being decapitated all the time slowed her sadism down a bit..]

Gyutaro: "Blood demon art... Flying blood sickles!!"

Sekido: "Hmph.. Stubborn you are.. No hesitation would do.."

[Sekido slammed down his staff once again. Casting another wave of electricity to dislodge the incoming sickles. He pointed at Gyutaro, commanding Karaku to lunge at him. Beating him up just like how he did to one of his brothers. Muzan watched it all, chewing on a bucket of popcorn. He was amused but once they saw him out of his leadership role. He quickly change from a goofy goober. To a angry mobster.]

Muzan: "Oh for fuck sake.. BREAK IT UP GOD DAMMIT!!!!!!!"

Gyutaro: *Panting*

Karaku: *Wheezing*

Muzan: "YOU TWO ARE LIKE TODDLERS FIGHTING OVER A TOY. WHAT ON YORRICHI'S NAME IS GOING ON HERE?!?!?!?"

Karaku: "He started it.. he was hurting my brother!!!"

Gyutaro: "That doesn't mean I would be gang up by four motionless oni's!!"

Karaku: "THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE THE RIGHTS TO HURT AIZETSU LIKE THAT?!?!?! WHAT DID HE EVER DO TO YOU?!?!?!"

Gyutaro: "..... For being sad- There I said it-"

PUNCH!!!!!!!

Muzan: "FIGHT FIGHT- oh wait.. I mean... STOP IT YOU TWO.. OR I WILL DRAIN YOUR BLOOD FROM YOUR BODIES WITH EASE!!!"

[Everything was now quiet. The rest of the uppermoons went over to see the problem. To their disappointment that they didnt get to see the entire brawl. Nakime strummed her Biwa, showcasing that breaktime was officially over.. Muzan clapped his hands to get everyone's attention.]

[faygodealer]

Stream of consciousness ramble (poem? Maybe? Not really lol) but there’s words in my brain and I need to get them out. So. Here’s this I think only one person will understand this and maybe they won’t still lol

You tell me you've left everything behind for this-

how often do you outrun your own skin?

Roll yourself up like a carpet,

lean over the parapet,

Don’t drop the match even when it burns

because you like the way it smells.

Crucify yourself on your suffering

Let me witness your rebirth

And then try it myself.

How do you replace yourself

atom by atom,

lungs burning smoke and car ride wind

whipping laps around our only eden left

Can’t move away from yourself when she still lives in the back of the van,

lights your cigarette for you

and hands you a beer.

She rocks in the dark,

eyes glowing like embers and watches us smoke

and pretend not to see her.

What kind of a specter haunts herself?

You think she’d find a more inviting home.

Hold her face in your hands,

scrape the kerosene running from her ears

back into her head like it'll hold this time

Don't ask why she stays

If a ghost knew how to move on

Wouldn't they?

Let the silence hang heavy in the air.

Dissolve your fantasy on my tongue,

wash your stories down with a feast.

Cut away the bruises,

either eat your pesticides or let the bugs

make home in your stomach,

not the only ones who are hungry.

Sustain yourself off of memories gone rotten,

go to bed starving when you can't bear to look at them.

Bare them on your own in the dark.

Pick stars out of your foam tile ceilings

Pick at your skin until it goes sore

Train tracks rumbling through your veins.

I'm driving along the coast,

the shoreline holds me close,

stuck at the top of this ferris wheel with you.

Thunder rolls over my hips,

eclipse my view of you

all wind in your hair,

liquid fire on your lips like liquor,

doting on little nothings.

Towns sail past

across seas of grass,

palm trees,

snowcaps.

Give me the director's cut of my own life story,

help me memorize my lines in the backseat.

Read me your bedtime fantasies and I will play along,

make believe myself any role you cast me.

Roll down the windows,

cast away our umbrella to the darkened sky,

distract me from the cold with the embers of your voice.

Let the heat of your cigarette make home on my skin,

scorched earth where there once was a garden.

Melt me down clean, build me up again,

breathe your life into my empty lungs.

Heat before a storm steams our windows,

precipitates down your cheeks,

licked clean by the cool breeze.

I roll over myself in the slow thud of a speedbump under the tires.

Shouldn’t have been walking by the road,

you tell the stain on the pitch.

Black lump in the rearview mirror fades into hindsight.

Shouldn't have been driving so goddamn fast.

When god closes the car door

he turns on the radio

and water pours out like static

but when the chandelier

shatters against the dancefloor

you're the only one still moving to the silence.

Cigarette sparks swirl a constellation over our opium den backseat,

sitting prone and scantily clad on the lap of luxury.

Call hedonism by any name you want,

I’d say if i wasnt too high to speak.

Say something pretentious and circular about

moral ambiguity and

how i dont see with clarity and

ill laugh my way through the bystander effect and

Stare into you like the sun and

let your after image eclipse the rest of my life

Pull the van into the sand and let it fill the open windows,

cover us in what was once the sea.

See stop lights and spot scenery and

throw yourself against the crashing waves

like they’ll hold you gentle,

once they see that its you.

Fall asleep in the night before,

Wake up two weeks into the wrong end of a long drive,

with cop lights

and road signs

and ghosts reflecting off glass

like shards of fire.

Tires leave ash dark stains on the melting asphalt,

you know it like the back of your hand.

Wash it free,

Fight to keep me clean,

take off your lens cap

and shift my world out of black and white,

burning color against the night,

Make love to me the whole way home.