#its just hard

[fossilizedhysterics]

ummmm i didnt like the new episode but!! i got to make this so it doesnt matter

[c-kiddo]

ok fine hands you sneak peak of ava art (that ive also been using as an icon in places) . see (part of) her face

[ID: close up of a digital drawing of a character's face from the cheeks up, with beige-grey skin and hair and a star on the forehead. the background is black. End ID.]

[naariel]

drawing leather pants will be the death of me one day

[depression-anxiety-me]

[little-eggs]

getting diap posts recommended more frequently is nuts because i'm only just starting to heal from the trauma associated with them.

like thats the angel number calling me isn't it. i should try to improve for real instead of just avoiding it

[gaysfornatalie]

Bought this dress last week and I have like nothing planned to wear it to 🙃

[symptoms-syndrome]

In therapy yesterday the whole online community topic came up again, and I kept using caveats to talk about it. "I know these people deserve support" and "I know they're struggling with something," things like that. My therapist asked me to just. Talk. Just say what I wanted to say without regard for others. Which was hard! But I did it and it brought a lot of emotions up and I cried about it. I said I felt very alone. It feels very isolating, it feels like I'm once again the only person on earth who struggles with what I struggle with. I used a metaphor of like. It's like I just moved into a house (got a diagnosis/explanation that made sense,) just got comfortable and bought furniture (came to terms with it,) and now a bunch of strangers are in my house telling me everything is wrong and they're going to do it right. I said I want people to take me seriously. I said I want people to know that I went through a lot of really really terrible things, and absolutely no one saved me or protected me from them, and that's why I am the way I am. I wanted people to know that this is really, really hard for me. I want to be able to talk about it without being associated with that image. I said I wanted a different word to use so people knew it was a serious medical thing and not just a lifestyle choice. I said that a few times I think, that it's not a choice and I don't want to be like this. I said that I wished there was more stuff I could relate to, where someone would say "this is a thing I'm struggling with' and I could go "wow, same hat!" Or people would share coping skills and strategies for living like this without the whole "system lifestyle" component. I don't want to "come out to my friends" or introduce my parts or learn their favorite foods or whatever, I want to be able to get right to the point of "what the hell is going on with you?" I want to work on getting better and I want other people to do that with.

They said that that reflected a lot of my growing up feelings. That I was very isolated and alone and told I was crazy (they emphasized this, that people said I was crazy. I wonder if that's what my birth parents said to them in their interview) and dismissed. Which makes sense. It feels weird though, to be upset at what's frankly a bunch of children who have taken over online (and by extension, public perception of) DID. I can't be mad at them, they're children. They're not trying to hurt me. But they are.

It's also like. I'm feeling a lot more hurt than I thought. Earlier in the session I talked about Jesse, how they keep saying we're fine and EMDR is just going to mess us up. I'm really not as fine as Jesse wants to think.

Most of all though. I want to be able to talk about it. I want to be able to share, without the baggage of the public's current perception of DID. I wish I could share from a clean slate without having to brush away all the "well, it isn't like TikTok" conversation. I wish I could talk about it like I talk about PTSD, where it's just. A mental illness that impacts my life. Not who I am, not my identity, not my lifestyle. Just a collection of symptoms.

[cheerfullycatholic]

Please pray for my dog, Amber. She's a sweet girl but an old lady and she's starting to act like it. Nights are especially not fun for either of us. Please pray that she never suffers and we're able to do a good job in helping her and making her comfortable. Thank you

[daytime-specter]

Hey uh. Does anybody else like. sees/hears how another person is speaking or reacting to situations and go 'Oh! So this is how normal humans behave :D I will be doing that from now on!' and then sees another person doing that differently and also goes 'Oh! So this is how normal humans behave :D I will be doing that from now on!'

And basically feel like you have no sense of identity bc you're always looking to model other people's behavior because you're so very afraid of violating some rule you aren't aware of and making everyone hate you and like even when you catch yourself very clearly being fine with the endless ways the people around you behave you don't wanna risk it

[jamisafan]

Chapter 3 of Ghost of New York is KILLING ME right now.

I did have the chapter planned sort of as an outline but then I was like...... but what if I did this instead?

SO I DID THAT INSTEAD!!!

And honestly, I'm not completely sure how I feel about it. Its okay? I guess. It was planned to be brought up eventually in a sequel I had planned but I didn't expect to make it a bigger thing in this fic. (Its not big. It just a little thing.)

PLUS! I came up with another new thing right on the spot which is a good bit but now I have to look SUPER deep into the lore I made about the ghost's and stuff.

I HAD PLANS MAN! AND NOW THOSE PLANS HAVE TO BE PUSHED TO ANOTHER CHAPTER!!!!

AJWBEDIDVWJAPQDBDBDJ

I could always cut it?

It might be better in a future chapter?

I'll decide when I finish it, and just make it a first draft.

[girlwithfish]

not a fun post 😃sh tw below

[demonichikikomori]

IM ROOTING FOR YOU! Mental health sucks but you have lots of people who care about you! (I know I do)

MENTAL HEALTH.

MENHERA IS GOD.

I started listening to JRock and screaming at myself to move my ass more. The Devil is will not wave the white flag!!!!!! But, seriously. Please pray constantly that I be reborn as a hot guy who’s tall. When my ex dies and she’s reborn I want to attract her again, this time as a man. Of course I won’t be passing away anytime soon and neither will she. Who’s gonna finish all my fanfics in my docs? Only I can do that. I’ve been drinking more water lately so it’s a good way of keeping myself alive. I’m struggling with eating again but it can be fixed.

Usually these super low moments will last around two weeks. Then I’m back to my usual self, hoping to find good fanfics to read about Ruggie giving you a kiss.

I started sobbing when I saw him today.

I wish he was real…

[as-warm-as-choco]

I saw your post about h0saki and I got concerned. If you don't mind me asking, is she alright?

I don't really know. It just seems unlikely she "moved on to greener fields" all of a sudden like you (probably) said. Apart from drawing, writing and doing the most for the KILL la KILL fandom, she was studying, but on top of being a magical creature who gave so much to us and the world so selflessly, she was having some important health issues. And I just fear for the worst but wish for the best, like.. I truly hope though it's like you mentioned and she focused on her health and studies and she's living her best life right now... :D

I hope her laptop got stolen at uni and she lost all her passwords and she's enjoying right now a nice episode of Twin Peaks, a walk on a german forest nearby, or showing KLK to new friends since she said she loved binging it with creatures who never saw it... Last time we spoke she told me she'd go to vacation on the island i was living at the time and then silence.. Also she had ordered Journal 3 for me cause I had trouble ordering it and it was the happiest day ever when I received it... So here's to Anne going to swim this summer too :') Hope you are safe, buddy ! Lost in Gravity Falls, Oregon, probably <3

[thunderbringer]

good morning! its barely 9 am and i’ve already been productive by picking up and putting away a very expensive grocery order!  haven’t bought groceries like that in a while but we needed it!  my mood still isn’t all that great though but i’m trying to push through it.  i hope you all have a fantastic day! <3 

[socksandbuttons]

im sensing...... smugness but also he’s gonna have a similar fashion taste as dream (but shinier??????)

[creamecafe]

As a fanfic writer it's so funny how I forget I'm a writer sometimes. Like when I imagine scenarios of a comfort character from any movie or TV show or I desperately want or need fanfiction of a comfort character I'm obsessed with I can't find, I can literally write it down. I'm basically Wanda making my own Westview.