#its just longer and planned posts take me... well... longer to write lol

[lynn-tged-posting]

heres a kind of old WIP that i prolly wont finish as appeasement for not posting /lh tged ending spoiler 4 manhwa spoilers

[strangesuki]

first snow ❄️

pairing : idol!euijoo x non idol!reader, established relationship

genre : pure tooth-rotting fluff

summary : surprising your boyfriend at work on a cold winter evening turns extra special as the first snow of the season makes its appearance <3

w.c. : 1.1k

a/n : help i'm so downbad i can't stop writing him. korea having its first snow a couple of days ago and all the idols posting about it inspired me to write this lol

You wait eagerly, your insides buzzing with excitement as you wait for your boyfriend to get done with filming. You hate how busy you’ve both been all week, to the point that you barely got to see each other despite sharing an apartment – you’d leave early for work before Euijoo woke up and then he’d come home late at night after you were asleep. With how cold the weather has been getting lately, you wish you could’ve continued with your cozy evenings and cuddly mornings together but unfortunately work had had other plans.

But it’s finally over now - you and your team managed to wrap up the project you had been working on today and you got to leave early. Euijoo had left for work earlier than he usually did in the mornings, which meant that he’d be done for the day that much sooner as well. Which is why you thought it would be perfect to surprise him.

Even from where you are sitting a good distance away in the car, you can see that he’s freezing, and it’s no wonder because it’s colder than usual today. His breath fogs up the air when he speaks or exhales. You honestly don’t know why his company thought it would be a good idea to have them film outside in this temperature. While you feel bad that he has to do this while you watch from the warmth of the car, you can’t get over how impossibly adorable he looks with all his extremities gone a soft pink from the cold – his ears, his nose, the tips of his fingers. You have to physically stop yourself from squealing every now and then as you watch him because the group’s manager is in the car with you. Whenever Euijoo gets a short break where he doesn’t have to be on camera, he pulls on his huge puffer jacket and shoves his hands into the pockets to warm them up. It makes him look so smol and cuddly and you want so badly to run out to him and you would have if you were allowed. You grit your teeth and tell yourself it’s just for a little while longer.

When he’s finally done and ready to leave, you watch with barely contained delight as the staff point him to the car you’re seated in. He looks a little confused as to why he’s being told to take a different one (he can’t see inside the car owing to the tinted windows) from the rest of his group members. Nonetheless, he obliges, thinking that maybe he has some extra work left to do as the rest of them head back. He tries not to let his disappointment show. He’s the leader, after all. As he’s making his way towards the car, you ask the manager if he would mind stepping out for a bit if he doesn’t wish to be subjected to your PDA. He complies a little too eagerly, making you chuckle. He’s probably still scarred from the time he walked in on the both of you passionately making out. The manager flashes your bewildered boyfriend a knowing smile as he walks past him.

“SURPRISE!” you squeal when he opens the door to the backseat. His eyes widen and he freezes for just a second before breaking out into the biggest smile and immediately scooching in and closing the door behind him. He pulls you into a hug, his arms locking tight around you.

“What are you doing here?” he laughs, delighted. You pull back and enclose both his hands in yours. His fingers are ice-cold.

“Jeez baby, you’re freezing!” You exhale hot air on them and rub your hands against his, hoping the friction will add to the warmth. Euijoo doesn’t mention that he has hot packs he could use in his pocket – he likes this much better. He gazes at you, his heart feeling like it’s glowing. You look up at him, at the warm fondness in his smile and can’t help smiling too. You notice his nose is still pink from the cold and you have an idea.

“What am I doing here? Hmm, let’s see . . . I’m here . . .” You pause to pull him closer and place a kiss on his lips. “. . to . . .” A kiss on his nose. “ . . . warm . .” Lips. “ . . you . . .” Nose. “. . . up!” Lips lips lips.

And that is all it takes for him to melt into a puddle – the man is a blushing, giggling mess. He nuzzles up against you, burying his face in your jacket.

“What, don’t I get any in return?” you tease. He emerges from your jacket immediately and proceeds to smother your face in kisses with his ice-cold lips. “Gahh wait,” you giggle and hold out your hand to keep him from continuing. His brows furrow in confusion, lips still puckered in a half-pout. “Cold lips,” you explain.

“Well clearly they need some more warming up,”

You give him a look as if to say is that so? but wind your arms around his neck and lean in as he does. Your mouths glide against each other’s, warmth against cold, until both of your lips are the same temperature. You run your thumb over his lips. “There. Nice and warm now?”

“Mmm. Nice and warm.”

. ݁ ˖⋆ ˚❆

You’re in the parking lot of Euijoo’s favourite cafe, waiting for the manager to return. Euijoo had wanted to get hot chocolate before heading back home, but he fell asleep on your shoulder on the way and you didn’t want to wake him just yet, so the manager offered to go instead.

And it’s as you’re sitting there staring out at the pretty lights outside, basking in the quiet comfort of his presence next to you that it happens – dazzling silver flakes slowly flutter down from above, softly coating everything in a layer of sparkling white – the first snow of the season. It’s beautiful.

As if he somehow sensed it unconsciously, Euijoo stirs awake and smiles sleepily at you.

“It’s snowing!” you whisper-exclaim, squeezing his hand in excitement.

The next minute you’re both out of the car, arms outstretched while trying to catch the falling crystals. Euijoo grabs you all of a sudden, making you squeal. He lifts you up and spins you around, his face beaming as you giggle.

The manager returns with your drinks just then, and Euijoo sheepishly puts you down – although the former doesn’t mind; the parking lot is fairly empty.

“I’ll wait inside, take your time,” he says, handing you both your drinks and getting into the car.

The two of you lean against the side of the car as you continue to watch the snow drift lazily to the ground. The world feels quieter all of a sudden, softer. Euijoo touches his cup to yours and raises a toast.

“To more first snows with you,”

You return the gesture, feeling a warmth spread inside your chest despite the chilly weather. “To more first snows with you,”

« you can read my other works here »

divider credits: @hayatoseyepatch @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

[girltriestowritestuff]

Royal Arrangements, Chapter 5

Telemachus x Reader

“She’s not here for romance. He’s not ready for a crown. But fate has other plans.” When your mother announces your engagement to Telemachus—yes, that Telemachus, son of Odysseus—you expect politics, not apologies. But the prince turns out to be more awkward than arrogant, more kind than kingly. And you? Well, you're not exactly the swooning type.

an-GUESS WHO ISN'T UP AT 11 PM WRITING AND POSTED AT 5 PM? I think I did something wrong lol but whatever.

The forest had quieted. Even the cicadas had tucked in their wings, and only the wind rustled, tugging at the branches like a child seeking attention. You stood a few paces ahead of Telemachus, half-hidden by the curling edge of a tree. In your hand, the dagger you always carried caught stray threads of moonlight.

You weren’t brandishing it. Just holding it—flat in your palm, your thumb brushing the worn engraving on its hilt. A pattern of swirls and waves, a commonly known design in Astreon.

“Do you always talk to your blade,” came his voice, steady and near enough that you knew he’d been watching you longer than he meant to admit, “or is it just when I’m around?”

You didn’t flinch. “Would you rather I talked to you?”

“I’d rather you didn’t look so ready to stab something.”

You glanced down, surprised to see your knuckles white around the grip. You let go. The dagger slipped back into your belt.

“There was a song,” you said. “Once. About a girl who left her city with only a blade and her name. The name didn’t save her.”

His brow furrowed. “Did the blade?”

You smiled wryly. “Depends who you ask.”

He stepped closer then, his footfalls soft in the loam. “What happened to her?”

“She wandered,” you murmured, not looking at him. “They made her walk from silver gates. With oaths beneath her skin. Her crown was light, her voice was glass, her fate was paper-thin…”

Your voice trailed off before the next stanza. You hadn’t meant to say it aloud.

Telemachus was watching you too carefully now—not with pity, or judgment. Just… understanding. The way someone might study a star they’d only ever heard stories about.

“Is that one of your songs?” he asked gently.

“It’s one of my ghosts.”

He nodded, like that made perfect sense. “You don’t seem like paper.”

“No,” you said quietly, pulling at a strand of hair. “But glass can cut.”

The woods held stillness like a held breath. Telemachus walked just ahead now, brushing aside the lower branches so they wouldn’t catch you. He didn’t say much. Neither did you. But the silence felt… settled. Like something earned.

Then he glanced back over his shoulder. “My mother used to say the best kind of silence is the kind you can share.”

You blinked. “What, like… this?”

A small smile played on his lips. “Yeah. I think so.”

You huffed a quiet laugh. “Didn’t take you for the sentimental type.”

“I’m not,” he said simply. “But some things make me wish I were.”

You stopped for half a second, heart catching. Just enough to feel something drop in your chest like a stone in water.

You tried to recover, teasing: “Like what? Me?”

But he didn’t laugh. Didn’t deflect. He just looked at you, soft and sure, and said “Yes.”

There it was. That fluttering drop in your stomach, like stepping too fast down the stairs.

You looked away, suddenly very interested in the path beneath your feet. “You’re getting good at this.”

“At what?”

“Making me lose my footing.”

Later, you found yourselves seated on a fallen log, the dagger resting across your knees now. Its shine was muted in the moss-dappled light. Telemachus stood a little ways off, arms crossed, watching as a breeze shook loose a few golden leaves overhead.

“I’ve never heard a song like that,” he said at last, voice low and reverent. “Not in Ithaca.”

“We don’t sing it much anymore, in Astreon I mean” you replied. “It’s more of a warning. The kind of tale we pass down to daughters, so they learn how to disappear instead of stand and fight.”

He was quiet for a long moment. Then, “You didn��t disappear.”

You looked up. He was watching you now, not blinking.

“You came here. You stood before my council. You carry a dagger like it’s part of your skin.” His gaze didn’t falter. “Whatever that song meant to teach you—you rewrote it.”

You didn’t know what you expected him to say—but it wasn’t that. And goodness, something fluttered low in your stomach.

“You’re not easy to understand,” he added, quieter now. “But you’re worth trying to.”

You turned away quickly, biting back the first response that tried to rise—because if you opened your mouth now, you weren’t sure what would come out.

The trees swayed. Somewhere above, a bird called once, sharp and sudden.

You peeked back at him. “Is that supposed to be flattery?”

A faint smirk tugged at his lips. “Would it work if it was?”

You threw a pinecone at him, aiming for his face but missing towards his chest. Causing you to laugh at your aim.

He caught the pinecone easily, like he’d half-expected it. Tossed it once in the air before letting it drop to the leaves at his feet.

“Is that how Astreons say thank you?” he asked.

You tilted your head, pretending to think. “No. That’s how we say don’t look at me like that.”

He raised a brow, amused. “Like what?”

You didn’t answer. Instead, you stood and brushed the moss from your chiton. The dagger stayed at your hip this time, forgotten for the moment.

“You said earlier,” you began, slowly, “that your mother liked silence.”

He nodded. “Said it was proof of peace.”

You stepped closer, sandals quiet in the thick underbrush. “And you? Do you believe that?”

His expression faltered—just a flicker, but you caught it. “I think…” He hesitated. “I think sometimes silence is the space between things. Between battles. Between people, maybe.”

“And us?”

Now it was his turn to look away. “We’re not at war, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“No.” You offered a faint smile. “Not yet.”

The words could’ve carried weight. Could’ve stung. But he only smiled back, a quiet, thoughtful thing. “Then maybe we’re somewhere between peace and the first volley.”

A pause. Your eyes met again.

You took a breath. “I don’t think I mind.”

Neither did he.

And the silence that followed didn’t feel empty.

It felt like something waiting to bloom.

tag list-@gothamsmom @barrythestrawberry041 @ricitos-de-carbon @graysw1fe @dorkyfangirl24 @woncloudie @cassielovw @nepttunesoop @lucathy4life @luckywitchsong @epichalfblood @ayaka-sakura @dxrlingluv

[acorviart]

Europe VAT laws not changing any time soon, recent. If understand FAQ well, mean shipping to Europe impossible for several years minimum?

That's correct, I won't be shipping to the EU for the foreseeable future due to some import packaging regulations that either have already been implemented or are planning to be implemented in the future.

Note that this is for EU countries only—I can ship to all other non-EU countries like Switzerland, except for the UK due to the UK's own convoluted VAT system.

The only workaround I can offer for EU folks is that you can have a friend or family that lives in a non-EU country place an order to deliver to their address, and then they are able to ship that order to you marked as a gift. Not an option for everyone, I know.

Longer explanation under the readmore for those curious:

As it stands now, each EU country has its own system and fees that I can't keep up with (for example, France would cost me 80 euros per year), I'd need to individually register and report to each country, some require reporting and tracking of what sources of packaging I use, I believe? It's all very complicated, and it makes my head spin just trying to figure out what the requirements actually are, so that's why I stopped shipping to the EU entirely out of an abundance of caution. I also just don't get enough sales to the EU to justify the headache, I'd probably actually lose money paying all the fees. Actually, while I was looking up details while writing this post, apparently there's a new PPWR that's going to replace the old EU Packaging Directive? This is why I can't handle this (ಥ﹏ಥ)

As for why this doesn't seem to be affecting all companies—corporations can obviously afford their own professionals whose entire job is to handle this stuff, and the requirements are also different for large vs small volumes. Meanwhile, a lot of other small or 1-person businesses straight up don't know about these requirements, because it's not like there's a memo passed around about updates to international shipping law. It's also even more confusing because some packages are slipping by without any issue, probably in part due to how the regulations are still new and still being implemented, so I assume it's kind of a mess.

I know of a few people who are willingly taking the risk and shipping to the EU anyway and have had no consequences (for now at least), but I'm not risking the fines ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Now for the UK, their VAT system doesn't have anything to do with packaging, but what it does require is similar registration with the government, and I'm required to collect and pay the VAT myself. No thanks!

TLDR; laws hard. laws also expensive. too stupid to figure out and too fearful of fines. no ship to countries

fun story: someone also once emailed me this long diatribe about how they think I'm shit at research and that I'm just making all this up (specifically just to screw with europeans or something, I guess?), so I sent them a few links to the literal official government websites where I got my info (like that UK one), and they never responded. lol

[cuppajj]

Is this the ask box? If not I'm so sorry I'm not used to tumblr literally only got it to follow your au. It's great btw love everything about it.

But anyways can I bonk Dragonberry on the head with a stick to get her attention and say hi, but with a really long stick so I'm not close to her when I do so? She's my favorite but she's scary and I while I would prefer to write her a letter but I don't want her to have my return address.

Also I've had my own au in the works but never actually bothered to start writing or properly figuring things out till after coming across your au which inspired me to start doing so and I just wanna know how you set everything up and figure out how to use who where and how you split stuff into arcs? I currently have 2 arcs based on the continent one being Crispia and the other being Beast-Yeast and both have chapters but Beast-Yeast is becoming a lot longer than Crispia due to how my au is set up and the fact the canon Beast-Yeast storyline isn't fully out and I was just wondering if you have any advice on what's best to do? I do want to eventually post my au and I've already gotten to work on the designs but I don't know the best approach to make it into something that others who are unfamiliar can understand.

Also sorry this turned out kinda long!

You can!! Though would advise against using the stick bc if she feels like it she could grab it and fling you while you’re still holding it

As for your second question about how I use arcs, it really just boils down to being a way to manage all the characters that are in the AU. Each saga focuses on one beast (including their respective of the original 5), the protag who is usually related to them in some way, and whatever story takes place in that specific arc alone. They’re meant to be mostly self contained, but they’d feed into a bigger narrative. The Vanilla Saga is a little different because while it’s technically self contained, Crepe as the main main character dabbles in a little bit of everything; but only crepe (also choco technically). You’re not likely to see Princess in the Lily Saga unless the two stories surrounding Dragonberry and Midnight Lily overlap.

I do have plans for sagas to overlap before the “all stories converge for the final saga” part, for example the Vanilla and Berry sagas will converge in Parfaedia well before that, but that would be a single story arc before they split up again. Some sagas can/would share the same events but would still largely be self contained.

Im going off on a ramble here but basically, BAAU’s sagas are just info management lol. With so many characters and stories to handle, it would be very confusing and bad if all of them were crossing over at every turn. When you’ve got a plot line that can serve as its own thing, it’s easier to tell where pieces of information belongs.

So that being said I should really start tagging the sagas in some of my baau posts 😭😭😭

[motorsportbarbie13]

an update

i feel silly doing these bc on one hand i'm like 'eh who tf cares about what my plans are for writing the next few weeks/months' and on the other hand, i know i hate when authors go from writing consistently to radio silence so...idk. it feels self indulgent and a touch self centered.

but i digress

i'm tired guys. tired of pouring my entire creative soul into these fics and not seeing the engagement. i've whined and moaned about it enough so i'm sure you're like 'jfc shut tf up and get over yourself' (which i mean, fair lol). the thing is, i do write for the love of writing but i also don't want to waste my time if it's not well received. there is something so depressing about spending HOURS on a chapter and having it barely break 100 notes. i know it sounds entitled and it probably is but thats how i feel. its not anyones fault and i know my writing isn't going to be for everyone. it's just...frustrating to go from writing very well received/popular fics to...nothing.

i don't know what's changed that's effected my engagement so much but i've tried everything to capture that magic that my early writings had on here and nothing is working.

i feel wrung out creatively. and also i've noticed a spike in my anxiety around social media lately. i've deleted almost everything off of my phone. and its FREEING. like, i tend to hyper fixate on something to the point where it's just not healthy for me and i think i need to take a bit of a break from online spaces, F1 spaces specifically. i'll still be HERE on tumblr but that's about it.

so what's next for the next few months for me? im going to take it easy, be kind to myself, let the inspiration come as it wants. i have a kernel of an idea for a lando fic but i won't be posting it at all until it's completely finished. probably later this summer. i have plans to work on a little collab project with another writer on an oscar fic too. that'll probably happen later this summer too. and i'm going to rewrite A Package Deal as a OC fic that goes deeper and is longer. That will be posted on AO3 sometime this summer too. i'm also wanting to go and work on the novel i wrote last summer and get it ready for publishing? my goal last year was to have it ready to publish by this summer break in august but i won't be ready for that, so new goal! next summer, the goal is to have it published.

so like, i'll still be around. i'll still be here. i'm still writing. i'm hoping a bit of an absence will maybe reset my algorithm too? lol maybe the tumblr gods will be kind to me again in a few months?

anyway. sorry if this is cringe and embarrassing. i just needed to kind of get it all out. my asks are open if you ever want to chat. <3

[cressidagrey]

Heyyy

Lowkey I have a sneaking suspicion not all my asks are getting sent and imma blame the bad uni WiFi on that lol

Like Ik you got my well wishes about the legos but not the whole chapter I typed you about belle adopting oli when he subs in for Carlos after his surgery and in turn adopting all the rookies and them being so smug to anyone who’s not met belle and be like ‘oh yeah belle helped pick out the couch or belle helped me with that’ it’s gonna be hilarious and I can’t wait but about the chapter you posted today…

EXCUSE ME MAAM WHAT DO YOU MEAN FELICITY IS LITERALLY A GIRL BOSS EVERY TEAM PRINCIPAL IS SCARED OFF? AND THAT SHE HAD A SACRED BINDER?

LIKE LOVE HOW OSCAR AND FLISS JUST KEEP RAISING MY STANDARD LIKE ONLY IN MY DREAMS WOJLD I IMAGINE THAT TYPE OF SUPPORT BUT STILL ITS THE SWEETEST??

hehe was literally getting out of class when you dropped that chapter and I’m like lunch can wait but not this lol love when you post as always! White horse or anything you write literally makes my day!

I did wanna ask tho are max and belle gonna go public in 2024 or just keep to themselves longer than the ‘24 season cuz it’s kinda fun seeing the twitter spiral into chaos literally anytime max says something sweet about his gf lol imagine the chaos when it comes out 😭

Ngl you had me sus with belle feeling nauseous this chapter but im just trynna theorize like ‘max is gonna propose how are they gonna hide that AND a pregnancy? Or she might not even be pregnant but then why would author include that then” but just know IM HOOKED

Thanks for listening to my rant and have a blessed day!!

HEYYY omg okay first of all — if uni WiFi is the villain of this arc, I’m taking your side 100%. But also I checked, and I only had this one message from you in the inbox 👀 (And now I’m mourning the loss of the Belle-adopts-Ollie-and-the-rookies essay because that??? Sounds ICONIC. Also, I have 138 messages in my inbox, because I am sadly horrible about answering on time...)

Now let’s talk about today’s chapter because:

FELICITY. BINDER. SACRED DOCUMENTS. Every team principal lives in fear. McLaren Legal is in therapy. Zak Brown double-checks all contracts like she’s about to smite them. And Oscar? Oscar knows better than to argue. Felicity Nation is THRIVING.

I’m so honored you nearly forgot lunch for a new chapter 😂 Priorities: immaculate. And I love that you’re still theorizing — you’re absolutely not wrong to be sus of any moment Belle feels even slightly off. I’m just saying 👀

As for Max and Belle going public... let’s just say I have plans. And when it does happen? Twitter will need CPR. The group chat will be in flames. And Max will still be pretending like it’s not that deep while Belle silently regrets every life choice 😂

Thank you for this chaotic masterpiece of a message — I LOVED reading it and I’m so happy the stories have been making your day. You 1000% made mine 🫶🏻💛 Have the best day (and tell your uni WiFi to get its act together pls) 💻✨

[charlottesbookclub]

time after time – chapter six (part one) (armitage hux x reader)

time after time masterlist

Summary: Hux's plans go utterly awry, but the result is far better than he could have hoped

Warnings/Tags: gn!reader; set pre-TFA; time loop; brief description of a medical appointment; description of feeling faint; descriptions of food preparation, food, and eating; body image issues; as always, let me know if I've missed anything!

Words: 6947

Author’s Note: hell yeah chapter six let's fucking gooooooo!!!! despite the already relatively higher word count on this section, there actually is a part two to this as well that will go up as its own post tomorrow, even though it still takes place in the same scene as this one. it was just getting long and I felt like I needed to cut it somewhere lol 😅 anyway, this is the chapter that took this story in a new direction than what I had originally intended. I was initially planning to do much more with the time loop, but it was while writing this section that the characters were telling me that the story needed to go somewhere else, so I listened! ☺️ I really hope you enjoy! 🥰

Hux blinked his eyes open to the cursed ceiling of the med bay. More quickly than ever before, Hux was up and off the cot, speeding away from medical without so much as a thought to the words of the medics. Maybe he should have listened though, he thought as he realized that his rapid movements hadn’t allowed him to fully recover from his faint. The floor beneath him seemed a little shaky. But as long as he kept moving and fixed his eyes on the hallway ahead of him, he could remain steady. He had to do this now – if he dared to wait even a moment longer than necessary, his resolve would crumble. He called Mitaka over coms.

“I need you to move up my meeting with the captain,” he explained.

“Yes, sir. To when?” Mitaka dutifully responded.

“Now.”

“Now? But what about—”

“Now,” Hux reaffirmed, cutting off Mitaka’s objection, “whatever you need to do to make that happen, you have my authority to do so.” He clicked off the call before Mitaka could voice another protestation. Hux had never been more aware of his own limits than in this moment. He had to keep moving and remain set in his intentions, that was the only way he would be able to do what needed to be done. 

When he swept into the dining hall, he saw that you were already there, lingering awkwardly near the back, standing by the table where he would have met you later. This was better. Then he didn’t have to wait. He strode up to you, only stopping when he was a respectable distance away. The words he had rehearsed in his mind were about to spill from his opened lips when everything went wrong. 

The sudden cessation of movement had brought back the full effects of his faintness that he had tried to resist. Without warning, black encroached on the edges of his vision and he lurched forward, his stomach twisting as he did. He only barely caught himself on the edge of the table. But so had you. Kriff. So had you.

One of your hands was clasped over his shoulder, halfway between catching him as he fell and guiding him into a seat. Hux’s full attention turned to the image of your hand gripping at the gaberwool of his greatcoat, fractions of an inch from the skin beneath. The feeling of it burned with a glowing warmth that made Hux feel equal parts sick and giddy. He needed you to let go immediately but he never wanted you to stop touching him. He heaved a few ragged breaths in a futile attempt to get his words out.

“Captain, I—” 

“General, please,” you entreated him, voice quiet but insistent. Hux despised the thought of it, knew it was what his father and all his father’s fellow officers had thought of him, but in that moment, he knew it was true: he was so weak. He barely even tried to stop himself from looking at your face. Your features were pulled into a look of genuine concern, eyes wide with worry. Whatever words he had been trying to say fell from his mind. “You aren’t well. You need to sit down.”

“Not here,” was all he was able to force out in a hoarse whisper. “I—I can stand.” He pushed himself upward to prove the point, but you were right: he still didn’t feel well. You tentatively released your grip on his shoulder. Equal waves of relief and devastation crashed through him. Your worried eyes flicked over him, assessing his condition for a moment before you spoke again:

“My quarters aren’t far – would it be better to go there?” 

Hux could only muster a nod of agreement. He barely registered what that would mean. His focus was divided between not wanting to collapse in front of the other officers and wanting you to reach out and touch him again. In service of both of these ends, he let you guide him out of the dining hall. 

There was less traffic in the hallways at this time in the cycle – both a blessing and a curse since it allowed him to divert most of his attention to the way you walked next to him. Your hands fluttered slightly at first, ghosting over him but not quite touching, as though you weren’t sure if you were allowed. You were so much more than allowed. Hux was practically aching for your hand on his arm, but he had no words to give voice to the feeling. He spent most of the short walk at war with himself. The stronger part of his resolve demanded that he stand as upright as his present condition would permit while you simply walked beside him. But the weaker part urged him to give into the feeling of faintness that still lingered in his body like a fog. If he collapsed just a little, maybe you would catch him. Kriff, maybe you would even let him lean against you – just slightly – as you closed the distance to your quarters. Your quarters. Kriff kriff kriff that’s where he was headed? How could he have let this happen? 

Before he could even begin to contemplate making a move to turn and leave, you had reached the door and were entering your credentials. Eyes still wide with concern, you invited him inside with another fluttering motion of your hands, once again seeming as though you wanted to reach out and touch him, but thinking better of it. Kriff, how he wished you would. The little entrance area was bathed in darkness, but you hurried into the main space and raised the lights to a faint glow. No doubt you left them dim so as not to shock him with the brightness in his weakened state. The thought of you wanting him to care for him made his chest feel like it was full of static. Or maybe that was just the lingering effects of the faint. He really needed to sit down. 

As though thinking the very same thing, you returned to usher him toward your standard-issue black couch. Again, your hands were just inches from him, and he began to fear he had unknowingly activated a deflector shield around himself. Why wouldn’t you touch him? The logical answer was obvious of course: you barely knew him, and he was General Hux, after all. But the ache in his body for your hands against him was not interested in listening to logic. Mercifully, he made it to the couch. 

He collapsed onto it, propping his elbows on his knees and resting his head in his hands. He needed to think, but he couldn’t quite get his mind to cooperate. The room smelled nice… clean but not sterile, and maybe faintly floral? Herbal? It had been so long since he had been planetside long enough to be able to identify scents that were rare on First Order ships. It seemed to suit you though. He could imagine that’s what you would smell like, if he ever got close enough to pick it up on your hair, your skin. A wave of dizziness and nausea swept over him, but he was certain it had very little to do with his faintness. A small, pitiful noise just escaped his lips, even though he tried his best to repress it. He hoped you hadn’t heard.

“General?” Of course you had. Your voice was soft and laced with worry, but also very close. Hux made the mistake of removing his hands from his face, only to see you crouching in front of him. Your widened eyes glowed faintly in the dim light, not even attempting to hide the concern for him that was written all over your face. He wasn’t sure if he was going to be sick or start crying. Perhaps he would do both at the same time. Not a single thought remained to him as he watched you study him, each glance soft enough to be a caress. He thought he might black out. Then you spoke again:

“I think you should lay down,” the words were quiet, but had an undertone of authority that told Hux he wasn’t going to win this battle. Not that he could refuse you anything anyway.

“But I’ll get my boots on your—” was the only pathetic excuse he was able to force through his lips. You just shook your head and shushed him.

“I don’t care about that.” You watched him as he awkwardly began to adjust himself into a reclining position on the couch. When you seemed satisfied that he would do as you asked, you stood and vanished somewhere behind Hux’s head. Stretched out on your couch, surrounded by the scent of you, your soft voice still playing in his head, Hux’s weakened faculties did not even put up the slightest resistance to a fantasy in which this was his life. He wouldn’t go back to his quarters alone, he would stay there, basking in the warmth of you. Lying there, trying to steady his breathing, he mused that he could happily wake up to this every day. 

His reveries were interrupted when you reentered the main space. Hux kept his eyes closed even as every part of him was straining to see you again. He had already given in far too much to his foolish desires – he needed to try and keep his composure. Even though he couldn’t see you, he could imagine your movements as you stood in front of the couch, eyes full of concern, one hand rubbing nervously along the uniform sleeve of your other arm as you shifted your weight on the floor, debating what to do.

“General?” you asked so quietly that he almost wouldn’t have heard if every part of him hadn’t been straining toward you, desperate for your presence. He hummed in response, hoping you would forgive him for his lack of communication with the assumption that he was still recovering from his near-faint. 

“Have you eaten this cycle?” Had he eaten? He had to think back. With the confused state of his thoughts and the blasted repetitions of cycles, he truly couldn’t remember. He shook his head in the negative. Still refusing to give into the urge to look at you, he instead imagined your little nod of confirmation at his nonverbal statement. You left again then, vanishing once again somewhere behind his head. Hux slowly exhaled the air out of his lungs. He expected you to be back in a moment and offer him a nutrition bar, but you didn’t return. Hesitantly, he opened his eyes.

As he adjusted to the low lighting, he scanned the room, consumed with curiosity. What struck him first were the pops of color set off against the dark interior of the standard officer’s quarters. A decorative rug woven in bright reds and yellows shot through with blue designs covered the floor next to the couch. A low, regulation-issued table sat on top of it, but its matte black surface was dotted with an artful arrangement of objects, including little animal figures painted with colorful floral designs and a cluster of unused candles. On the wall directly opposite the couch were a few small hangings affixed to the wall, but he couldn’t make out what was depicted on them. On a far shelf stood more small objects whose shape he could not quite determine. Where had you gotten all these things? 

The difference between his austere quarters and the inviting nature of yours was stark. He had always thought that collecting purposeless things was frivolous, but here in your rooms they felt… right. In fact, the idea of you living in a space as ascetic as his saddened him. Feeling his senses begin to return to him as he took stock of the room, he propped himself up, trying to get a better view of some of the objects. That was when he noticed intermittent noises from the direction where you had disappeared. And another scent – but not the welcoming smell that had pervaded your quarters since he entered. This was something almost… appetizing. He suddenly realized that he was hungry. Wait – no – kriff! Were you cooking for him? After all you had already done for him, he couldn’t allow you to waste more of your time, energy, and resources on him like this. Kriff he should have just said he had already eaten. 

He was trying to maneuver himself off the couch without letting his boots touch the black fabric when you suddenly reappeared, catching him awkwardly half-sprawled over it. He couldn’t help but instantly turn his gaze to you, since he had denied himself last time. The look of surprise on your face faded into one of relief.

“General, are you feeling better?” He could just manage a nod of affirmation, transfixed by the sight of you as you hesitantly stepped closer. “Here, let me help you.”

As before, your hands stuttered for a moment as you approached him, but then you seemed to push past whatever reservations you had, and your warm grasp found his forearm and upper arm as you helped guide him back into a sitting position. Each point of contact felt like a sunbeam – or at least the memory of a sunbeam, it had been so long since he had felt one. But no, this was even better than that: warm, comforting, steady, glowing. Maybe sitting up again had been a mistake. He lost consciousness of any other sensation except the feeling of you touching him. Each place where your hands met his arm seemed to radiate warmth until Hux’s whole body felt alight with the golden glow of it. He couldn’t dare to look at you. If he did, he might melt entirely and never recover. Instead, he watched your hands gently release the fabric of his greatcoat and slowly pull away, almost as though you missed the contact as much as he did. At least, that’s what he wanted to believe. The heady warmth of your touch faded slightly, but he could still feel the two contact points under the fabric of his uniform, the bright sensation of you lingering on his skin. He forced himself to breathe.

“Do you, um…” your faltering words brought his attention back to you, standing in front of him again, hands clasped behind your back as though at attention, but he could tell you were fidgeting, entwining and unentwining your fingers, pulling at the cuffs of your uniform. He allowed himself to imagine that you also missed the warmth of your hands against him. You seemed to collect yourself then and remember your question: “do you drink tea?”

“Yes,” Hux cleared his throat slightly, “tarine tea usually.” You hummed a little, thinking to yourself.

“I’m afraid I don’t have any tarine, General.” Your face puckered into a slight frown. “It’s um… it’s too bitter for me.” You accented the last statement with just a breath of a laugh and little lopsided smile. If not for his hands planted firmly on either side of him, Hux no doubt would have ended up horizontal again, his mind buzzing with dizziness at your unguarded expression. “But I’ll see what I have that’s similar.” With that, you began to exit again.

“Captain, wait,” his words pulled you back into the room, a question written on your face. “You don’t need to make something for me – it’s not necessary.”

“Oh, no need to worry about that, General. It’s just something quick – actually I think it’s almost done. It would do you good to have something in your system.” With another small smile that left Hux breathless, you departed. But before he could even collect his thoughts, you were back, balancing two steaming plates of food. Depositing them on the table in front of the couch, you returned for the tea. 

Hux investigated the food. How long had it been since he had eaten something other than nutrition bars? He couldn’t even remember. The dish was some sort of a thick, orangish sauce dotted with vegetables and spread over a bed of cooked grains. The warm, spiced scent of it alone was enough to make his mouth water. You returned with two mugs of tea and set one carefully in front of him before circling around to the opposite side. He expected you to pull up a chair, but instead you settled yourself on the floor. On another officer, such a move would have seemed ungainly, improper. But somehow it felt natural for you as you folded yourself up next to the short table.

“You didn’t have to do this,” Hux whispered, not even sure his words were loud enough for you to hear. He was certain that his cheeks were a humiliating shade of pink. Maybe you wouldn’t notice in the low light. You shrugged lightly.

“On the contrary – it was the least I could do.” You flashed him another smile that knocked the air from his lungs. Then you reached down to take a bite of the dish, and he followed your lead, discarding his gloves on the table before picking up his fork. Compared to the dry density of a nutrition bar, the foreign textures of the food were almost overwhelming. The sauce melted into the cooked grains and the vegetables offered a slight but satisfying resistance as he bit into him. Then the flavor hit him. It was creamy and inviting with a swirl of spices that warmed the back of his throat. It was like nothing that he had ever tasted – not that he had tasted much in his life with the First Order. Only after he swallowed that first bite did he suddenly become aware that you were watching him closely, already wincing a little.

“If you don’t like it, you don’t have eat it – it’s certainly not to everyone’s taste and if you’re used to nutrition bars or—or if you would prefer one, I have those too and I would be happy to—” 

Hux silenced your rush of apologetic words with a wave of his hand, his fork still held in his fingers, and a shake of his head.

“No, please – it’s delicious. Thank you.” He tried to put all the weight of his genuine gratitude behind those words, hoping you would hear it. You ducked your head as though you were suddenly embarrassed, but he could see a smile playing around the corners of your lips. He was desperate to have you look up at him. He wanted to see you smile even more than he wanted another taste of the meal. “Where did you…” he fumbled for the question he wanted to ask, “how did you…” when his words failed him, he simply indicated to the food, hoping you would understand.

“Oh!” You seemed to intuit what he was asking. “It was something I ate in the field a lot on one of my assignments. It was a popular dish there. You could buy preparation packs for it pretty easily, so I uh… I just stocked up before I was transferred here. It doesn’t take much to reconstitute them – I promise I’m no great chef.” You smiled widely at him then, his faltering questions rewarded a hundredfold with the gleaming light of you. He wanted to bask in it forever.

“And the, um… décor,” Hux gestured lamely to the beautiful collection of objects that filled the room. He wanted to keep you talking, to soak in every ounce of you. “Are those from the field too?”

“What? Oh, my things?” you swiveled your head to indicate the diverse assortment of pieces that livened the room with their color. Your smile turned sheepish then, and you looked down, reaching out to run your fingers over one of the little animal figures in the center of the table. “Yes, they’re from my various assignments. A lot of them were gifts. But I— well, I try to collect something from everywhere I go. To remember.” You met his eyes then, and he returned his fork to the bowl and his hand to his lap so that you wouldn’t see that it was shaking. Your grin was almost mischievous then, a kind of sweet mirth lighting up your eyes. “I’m just glad officers don’t have room inspection like we did at the academy. I’m not sure I’m fully in cooperation with regulations. Unless, of course, you were going to report me?”

Were you… teasing him? His thoughts faltered for a moment at the hidden laughter gleaming just behind your eyes. But maybe also the slightest hint of fear. You had no reason to believe he wouldn’t report you, but you trusted him somehow? His chest felt so light he feared he might need to hold onto the table to keep from floating away.

“No, of course not – never.” Good humor and laughter were not something that came easily to Hux, so he was certain the smile he attempted to return was stilted, but you didn’t seem to care. You just shot him one last gleaming glance before returning to your food. He took this as a queue to do the same. 

In between bites of the meal, he sipped on the tea. It was different than his usual fare, minty and smooth with just the slightest hint of something sweetly acidic, perhaps citrus. He couldn’t believe that things could taste like this. He was certain whatever food they served in the dining hall wasn’t this good. But then maybe anything he ate with you would be delicious. 

When you were both done, you stood to collect the dishes. After all you had already done for him, Hux couldn’t abide the thought of you doing anything else.

“Please, let me help,” he insisted, rising slowly from the couch. He tried to make sure his movements were slow, not wanting to bring on another faint. You apprised him for a moment, seemingly also assessing his steadiness, before nodding and allowing him to take the dishes from your hands. The slight brush of your fingers against the bare skin of his hand was enough to send shockwaves through his body, and he had to turn quickly to hide the blush that was blooming on his face. Luckily, Hux was familiar with the standardized layout of the officer’s quarters, so he had no problem finding the small food storage and preparation area. He deposited the dishes in the automatic receptacle that would ferry them to the central kitchens to be sanitized and put back into service.

In those small moments alone though, Hux’s mind harshly reminded him of his purpose in meeting you today. The thought of needing to let you go after this punched a hole in his chest so forcefully that he needed to lean against the wall temporarily. He stood at the precipice again, ragged and desperate with the enormity of his want. How could he do this to you? To himself? But you had smiled at him, touched him, even. Maybe you could be happy with him, want him, lov— no. No no no no no. He had to stop – he needed to stop. 

You stepped into the tiny kitchen then, as though wondering what had kept him. Finding him leaning against the wall, heaving labored breaths, your brows instantly furrowed with worry again.

“General?” you voice was all softness. Hux swallowed thickly but couldn’t respond. Uttering any words in that moment might have been enough to break him. He tried to step back from the precipice in his mind, gathering every last reserve of strength to wave you away. To tell you he needed to leave. 

But then you caught his hand in yours and he was plummeting. Momentarily losing his ability to breathe, all he was able to do was look at you. He found you looking back, eyes concerned and gentle. Your hand was so warm in his. You offered him a small smile. Maybe the freefall wasn’t so terrifying after all. Not if you were there to catch him in the end.

“Are you okay?” The words were so quiet, so suffused with care that Hux nearly ached with it. He could barely manage a small nod as he struggled to breathe again, but that was enough to reassure you. “I think you should go sit down.” Hux just nodded again, letting you lead him back to the main room. His eyes were locked on where your hand clasped his, staring in disbelief. He couldn’t possibly imagine what he could have ever done that would cause the universe to grant him this small mercy. You didn’t let go of his hand.

Back on your couch, his breaths came out shakily, eyes focusing and unfocusing as they traced the complex patterns on your carpet. He felt the weight of you, the warmth of you, next to him. He could feel you breathing. He braced himself for the moment when you pulled your hand from his, but it never came. You sat quietly beside him, your fingers curled against his own. Finally, he spoke, though his words came out rubbed raw:

“Captain, I apologize. I fear I have made an utter fool of myself.” He couldn’t look at you.

“That’s not true,” you responded, accenting your words with a squeeze of his hand. Hux’s breath stuttered in his lungs. A long moment passed before you spoke again: “Can I tell you something? A secret?”

“Of course,” his voice came out thinly the first time, so he cleared his throat and repeated the sentiment: “of course.” He turned to glance at you, but this time your gaze was fixed in front of you, seemingly viewing something visible to you alone.

“I cried on my first day here. On the bridge no less.” You huffed out a small, self-depreciating chuckle. Hux felt sick. He could imagine the scene so clearly. He squeezed your hand slightly in an echo of your earlier gesture, the only pathetic attempt at comfort he was able to offer. You flicked a small, grateful glance toward him before returning your focus to some spot in the center of the room. It was more thanks than he deserved. “Captain Earls—?” you fumbled for the name.

“Ernstead,” Hux filled in through gritted teeth. Maybe he and Opan would need to have a conversation about possible assassinations after all.

“Oh yes – Captain Ernstead said something. Well actually he sort of set me up I think. It doesn’t matter – I’m sure he didn’t mean to.” ‘I’m sure he did,’ Hux thought furiously, but did not interrupt. “But anyway I ended up crying in front of everyone. Just a little. But still. I knew it wasn’t proper, that I should have kept myself more in control. But I—well, I was just so…” You heaved out a shaky sigh. “Anyway, I guess my point is that if anyone has made a fool of themselves on this ship, it’s me.” You let out a hollow, watery laugh. Hux looked over to find tears trickling down your cheeks. You seemed to notice at the same time.

“Oh and now I’m doing it again.” The sad little laugh was still in your voice as you slipped your hand from his as though on an instant instinct to clear your face of any sign of tears. As you scrubbed at your cheeks with the backs of your sleeves, Hux’s fingers tingled, burned with the desire to reach out and run his thumb along the tender skin under your eye, gently wiping the sadness from your face. Instead, he froze in place, petrified by the very thought of it. He had known you for days, but you had just met him earlier that cycle when he practically fainted into your arms. He had spent the time that followed that unfortunate incident being utterly useless and completely unprofessional as you showed him more kindness than he could hope to earn in a hundred lifetimes. There was no way you would want him to touch you. 

“I don’t think that’s foolish,” he whispered. It was not what he would have said six cycles ago, and it wasn’t even really wanted to say then either. There were a thousand other things he could have said that would have been better, that could have conveyed the depth of what he was feeling. But Hux was cut out for grand, pre-written speeches, not… this. He was an utter failure at whatever this was, but kriff he wanted to be good at it. The hand that was still humming faintly with the remembrance of your skin against it clenched into a tight fist, nails biting into his palm – a punishment for his failings.

“You’d be the first then,” you looked at him with a small, melancholy smile on your face, eyes still glittering with unshed tears. “Everyone else, they— well… hmmm. I’m no good at this.” Another tiny laugh trickled from your lips. How could you say that? Hux thought you were wonderful. He was making the enormous effort to put that thought into words when you continued: “I mean, you ate my non-standard food and at least pretended to like it, and you saw all my weird stuff and didn’t report me. And you didn’t act like I was totally crazy or laugh at me even one time or—or leave. So, thank you.”

Hux’s mind went completely blank. You were thanking him? You were thanking him? As that one inconceivable thought repeated itself in his mind, he was suddenly seized with panic. How was he supposed to respond? He needed to respond. He could thank you back, but now that would seem hollow. How could he make it seem genuine? Think, think! How could he work out complex engineering designs in his head but not be able to utter a single coherent thought to you? What a kriffing idiot! If he sat here one second longer just looking at you with a blank face you would be convinced that this was all some sort of joke and that he hated you or that he really was laughing at you and then you would never speak to him again and maybe you would even cry and it would all be his fault—

The water that still lingered in your eyes had coalesced into a single shining tear that slipped from the corner of your eye without you seeming to realize it. Against all the better judgement in him, Hux gave into the stinging urge in his fingers and reached up toward you. Bracing his fingers lightly against the side of your face, he dragged the pad of his thumb across the top of your cheek and caught the tear, whisking it away. Your skin was so soft he was almost afraid he would melt it, and it was burning him, each one of his fingers set alight at just the faintest touch of you. He was sure he would pass out again, and half wished that he would. He had not thought this through – he had no plan for what came after. 

As he finally removed his hand, your head tilted and leaned toward it just slightly, as though you missed the contact. Hux felt like he was drunk, a warm sensation bubbling up into his chest and spreading throughout his body. Your eyes met his then, and he was terrified that he would see disgust or displeasure twisting your features, but instead you looked… happy? Was that possible? Had he made you happy? The desperately hopeful thought only intoxicated him further. You laughed quietly, fingers brushing lightly over the spot that Hux’s hand had just vacated. The sound was so sweet that Hux was certain that no music in the galaxy could compare.

“I guess I missed that one,” you commented lightly, gracing Hux with a beaming smile. Kriff, you were incandescent. He could have stared at you forever. 

He had to think of something to say. He couldn’t just gaze at you wordlessly – you’d think he was deranged. Kriff, he was awful at this.

“For the record, I did like it – the food that is,” he finally said. It sounded pathetic as it was leaving his mouth, but he couldn’t think of anything else to say despite the millions of things he might have said. You tilted your head slightly, the charming gesture asking a wordless question. You didn’t know what he was talking about. He was so utterly inept it was almost laughable. “You said before that I at least pretended to like the food – I, well… I wasn’t pretending – I really did like it.”

“Oh! I’m very glad to hear that!” Your smile was undimmable. “Actually, it’s probably time for me to prep my late cycle meal. You unfolded yourself from the couch and extended a hand to him. “Would you like to help?”

Your hand hung empty in the air for only a moment before Hux grasped it like a lifeline. Sparks sizzled across his skin as he let his fingers slide along your palm. Exerting just the slightest force, you pulled him from the couch. 

“Oh – let me…” Agonizingly, he had to break contact to shrug the greatcoat from his shoulders.

“Of course – I’ll just be in here.” You tossed him a bright smile as you disappeared behind the partition wall that marked off the kitchen. He let the heavy fabric slip from his arms, leaving him in just his uniform. A prick of queasiness roiled to life in his stomach as he draped the greatcoat over the arm of the couch. His father had always called him thin, scrawny. In his adolescence, he could barely fill out even the smallest uniforms. He had gained in height since then, but not… elsewhere. Would you notice? Would you care? Would you think he didn’t look…good? The thought made his nausea intensify. He swallowed, trying to swallow his fears as well. He couldn’t leave you alone when he had agreed to help. He combed his fingers through his hair, trying to reestablish as much order as he could amongst his disheveled locks. Then he straightened his posture – one thing he could be proud of – and entered the food preparation area. 

You turned around when he entered and offered him another one of your sunny smiles. Either you didn’t notice his appearance or you didn’t care. He breathed a tiny sigh of relief.

“I had planned to just do something quick,” you told him as you collected ingredients, “but seeing as I have company…” you gestured to him, your smile seeming to intensify as you did so, “I thought I’d maybe do something special.”

“Oh, please – not on account of me,” he insisted, feeling a blush begin to heat his cheeks. You’d make something special – for him?

“I fear it’s not that special,” you offered an apologetic laugh, “I’m a bit limited in what I can achieve here. And um… my skills are not – well, let’s just say I’m passable, shall we?”

Hux thought you were lightyears beyond passable, and he was about to say as much when it suddenly hit him just how small the cooking area was. It was really just a sectioned-off bit of the main space, with one partition wall hosting a tiny counter and a single heating plate and the other offering a short shelving unit and a temperature-controllable food containment pod. Most officers either opted for the fare in the dining hall or subsisted off nutrition bars. Hux’s ‘kitchen’ – if it could even hold that designation – had long ago been given over to other purposes. He only used the shelves to stack his supply of nutrition bars and packets of tarine tea. Standing just at the edge of yours, he realized how close you were to him as you pulled items from the shelves. Hux felt his heart rate increase slightly.

“How can I help?” he asked, hoping his voice didn’t betray any of the trepidation he felt. He abhorred the idea of you doing all this work alone, but he was far too aware of his own non-existent skills to think that he would be a help rather than a hindrance.

“Do you chop?” You offered him a knife and a strange, warty vegetable.

“Certainly.” Hux certainly did not chop. He knew his way around a knife, but not this kind. The vegetable felt strange in his hand, knobby and stiff. He was just about to inquire how you had gotten produce when you seemed to anticipate his question.

“These keep for months if you don’t cut them,” you explained as he eyed the vegetable suspiciously. You were about to turn back to your tasks when you seemed to realize something. “You don’t chop, do you?” Despite the nature of the question, there was no accusation in your tone, only a kind understanding. Why were you so considerate of him even when he was being completely useless? Hux’s cheeks burned, and he knew you could see the pink flush on his pale skin. His mouth was dry, so he just shook his head.

“To be honest,” he had to clear his throat a little, “I only eat nutrition bars. The meal from earlier today was the first time I’ve eaten real food in… well, I’m not sure how long. I can’t remember.” He chanced a glance at you, and your radiant smile had dimmed to a small frown laced with what Hux thought might be sadness.

“I’m so sorry,” you said then, seemingly truly unhappy to hear about Hux’s dietary habits. He couldn’t bear for you to be sad on his account.

“No, don’t be – it’s my choice.” Your face pricked with worry at his words.

“Oh, I don’t need to make this – I’m so sorry, you know you didn’t need to eat what I gave you before – I have nutrition bars too, I—I can go get one for you now.” You moved to replace the things you had been preparing. Could he say even one thing right? What a kriffing idiot – now he had made you ashamed for doing the nicest thing anyone had ever thought to do for him.

“No, please – that’s not what I meant.” You stilled your movements as he spoke. “I choose to eat them because I never have time for anything else. And I don’t really… enjoy… the experience of the officer’s dining hall.” A private almost-smile tugged at the edges of your lips.

“I can understand that.” You looked at him, the ghost of some lingering hurt floating just beneath your expression. He tightened the grip on the vegetable in his hand, a pain slicing through his chest. “The dining hall is not the most enjoyable of places.” You didn’t have to say anything further for Hux to know that what he had witnessed while observing you in the dining hall were not isolated incidents. Then you seemed to shake off the memory and your expression reignited into its usual brightness. “I can take those from you!”

Hux handed over the vegetable and the knife with another flash of embarrassment at his own incompetence. It was a feeling that he normally tried to avoid at all costs, but somehow you made it easier to carry. He watched with interest as you cut the knobby shape into neat cubes, trying to commit your movements to memory. Next time, he wanted to be able to actually help. Next time. Panic surged through his body. What if this was all erased for you next cycle? He would wake up in the med bay as he had so many times now and you would never have met him. A fist clenched around his heart and squeezed until he was almost gasping for air. But maybe that would be better, he reasoned with himself. Next time he would know what to do, what to say – he would have practiced. He would be better at everything. He hated the idea that you wouldn’t remember, but took comfort in the knowledge that he would have a chance to do things right. Next time, he would be perfect.

When he came back to the present, the vegetable cubes were sizzling in a pan before you transferred them to another dish. Into the pan you added a few liquids from the containment pod and generous dashes from various seasoning containers and pre-made preparation packets. Seemingly satisfied, you returned the cubes to the pan and swirled them in with the pale green sauce. You had pulled a package of grains from the shelving unit when Hux stepped forward. Finally he could be of use.

“I can do that,” he offered, eliciting a look of surprise from you that melted into a smile. “I do know how to reconstitute prep packs.” 

“Brilliant – thank you!” You handed him the package and two dishes. Brilliant. Brilliant. Brilliant. His mind replayed your words in giddy spirals as he divided the dried contents between the two plates and retrieved a cup of water from the faucet. He slowly stirred the water in, watching as the grains reconstituted themselves. When he presented you with the completed dishes, he felt a little foolish for being proud of his achievement. It was almost nothing really, and yet he had done something for you, a thought that made his chest hum. You received his meager offering with far more gratitude and enthusiasm than he deserved, but he was not going to miss the chance to bask in your smile.

[morningstar-warriors]

It's Been Awhile

So I haven't been posting here much, admittedly I've been keeping my paws of social media for awhile to save my sanity. Not to mention tumblr no longer works on my phone, just endlessly crashes. Alas! No tumblr on my phone??? What should I do??? Pick up a healthy habit? ACK!

Either way, I told my followers and discord members I'd start posting little update blogs and since tumblr was where I'd originally done so, I'll keep it up.

What Has Danny Been Up To..?

Well mostly writing, editing, writing, work, editing, hiding from life, writing writing writing... A bit of drawing too but right now I feel like my art is just a tool for my writing. You get the picture.

Book Updates & Inner Turmoil:

I've been updating the Playbooks, refining them a tad more to feel more like my day dreamy visions while also tightening up wording and mechanics. I'm not sure how tight they'll be considering I love me a floaty soft rule, but I want the common cat to read it and get it. I think I'm having fun with it again, which is good.

Admittedly I hardcore procrastinated on working on the Kittypet and Rogue Playbooks. I felt a hard wall of... Burn out? Terror? Stagnation? Not sure, but I remember feeling like writing was not where I wanted to put my energy. Got this bad thing where, if I don't want to, I WONT.

I think what was stopping me was the social media attention. I felt stressed but amazed by all the eyes it was getting. Its good, so many people are inspired. But with people comes critique, envy, odd treatment, and other funny emotional things.

Man. How do you handle all that? Especially with the prospect it may only grow? Well in my case, feel embarrassed and guilty for not being grateful. Then sit in a bathtub till the water grows cold looking at messy notes about a cat using their cuteness to blow up the bad guy, followed with "Or smth idk." Great! Good notes.

But those days have waned and now I'm back on the horse, smile on my face and keyboard loudly clacking.

I think I just finally told myself "This is a hobby you do for fun, so if you're not having fun you can take a break." gave myself permission. If you need to hear that too, then hear it. Anyways though--

Ritualists are getting the biggest revamp so far, if you were curious. Though its nothing supremely crazy.

Croweye

New Moon:

New Moon has ended its filming! The game for me, is officially over. It was the first game I ever completed as a GM. If you take a look through this blog you will see just how LONG it lasted. Not to mention my poor players went through every mechanic change under the sun.

Looking back at those old posts were what made me want to go back and write the occasional update blog. I'm honestly proud of my friends and I, and how far we've all come. I really couldn't have done it without a group of goof balls making the ugliest gingerbread cookies ever.

New Moon's final episode will be released to the public either late April or the beginning of May. I plan to slow my videos to once a month ideally after the last episode is posted, because I'm working on another project already and I want it to be good.

Buttermoss & the Torch

The New Project:

I can't say much, but it's the next campaign to be recorded. Its what is presently eating up my note books, sketch books, media intake, and I have only told two people about it. Truly about it. Its driving me nuts because I have such a clear vision, the things I have so far are AWESOME. The things I have planned are ambitious, but they make me smile. I want to challenge myself a little. I probably shouldn't say much else though.

I promised myself I wouldn't let it slip. So you're just gonna have to wait.

I do plan on leaving clues when it gets time to release the project. But I am going to pre-record several episodes and edit them before they ever see the light of day. So you'll all have to wait for awhile lol.

Next Time

I do want to go more in-depth about why I made certain changes to the playbooks, but I've gotten pretty good at just being tight lipped so, next time. Thanks for your patience and interest.

Morningstar

[des-no9]

For the fic ask game! What about 2 and 22? :]

From writing asks here!

talk about a notable time a narrative or character has looked you dead in the eyes and said “fuck your plan, here’s what we’re actually doing.”

Oh boy. Endlessly. I'm very much a writer that goes in and just....writes? and lets the characters take the lead. It's not often I have a set narrative/outline because I know that doesn't happen or work. That restriction on something creative is where much needed structure falls apart for me.

I write a lot of shorter pieces, not much in the way of sprawling novel narratives, so maybe this doesn't come up as starkly as in long form writers. It's probably more smaller and nuance for short form writers (n my experience anyway).

Well actually a big one narratively for Vanquish was I didn't want her to die so soon, or at all mortally (another narrative thread) when she joins Voss, the githyanki and frees herself from Nezarr. But I think she just kind of told me when I was figuring out her narrative and end that no, she was ready to die then. She was tired, sore, but happy.

I feel the same for Voss, so their endings just kind of aligned to me and felt right after she kind of told me "this is what I want". After living two very long lives (relatively) basically for someone else, they get to have these short last years as theirs and they don't need anymore.

It felt really poignant especially for Vanquish as her whole initial fear was her mortality, death and her loss of control over it, and its what got her in such a horrible situation. So it just feels right and nice and makes me emotional haha.

Sorry for rambling like fuck and getting very emotional lol.

describe your writing process from scratch to finish.

Hah oh boy okay.

Okay well, fellow neuro diverse and mentally unwell writes may understand your head also just constantly being on fire with ideas and narrative threads and characters.

The reason I pick a certain one can be anything from: catharthis, just the need to write, spite, horny, prompt, unexplored part of a char, what if what if always what if (why I love rare pairs and side chars), and ofc just the general exploring the fucked up and unknown.

Okay first of all I need: music for the vibe of what I'm going to write. Lately actually ambient 10hr background noise audios have been saving my life. Particularly these two. Cyberpunk 9hrs rain. Cozy cyberpunk loft in the rain 10hr. They've been constant lifesavers for writing lately. I've been finding a lot of lyric songs overstimulating and distracting for writing. I need tea if I'm going to settle in and write something longer. Always.

I often write my shorter things these days in StimuWrite, just opening it up and going for it. For me it has the same feel of writing directly into the tumblr text box which increases my output somehow idk. Having no spellchecker is insanely helpful for me hah. Otherwise I consistently use g-docs, for better or worse. It helps me because I have 4 devices then I can write on, and I can write anywhere on any position (chronic pain wahoo).

I edit as I go in everything I write though (not always catching the spelling mistakes tho, that's different). Constantly editing structure, word choice as I go. It's just easier for me. I'm not a 1st draft, 2nd draft person. All my work is essentially one draft, edited as I go, then as I finish I go over it again before posting.

I usually write linearly because the things I usually write are quite short. But often lines for future scenes, moments etc will just appear as I'm writing a current one and I just quickly write that at the bottom of the document. That happened twice past two days. I wrote a flashback in the cyberpunk AU fic and the ending of it wrote itself while I was writing the opening, so I just wrote it down quickly a few spaces down, then continued writing, editing it slightly into the context of what I ended up writing that followed.

Exact same thing happened writing an Orpheus/Voss yesterday. Ending few lines just wrote themselves as I was writing another line so had to throw them down. Then I wrote the rest of the fic.

For longer things I won't always write scenes in order. Sometimes I'll just write things and shuffle them around. I don't need constant 'seamless scene transitions'. I'm confident enough im my writing and my readers that they can understand what's happening. And this fic is a series of vignettes anyway. Snapshots of various people's lives. It fits the vibe.

When something's finished, if it's something longer, or something professional or for a zine, I'll let it sit for a few days, longer. I need to step away from it to come back with fresh eyes. It helps me edit more objectively, critically, and just help notice dumb shit I did that I maybe wouldn't have if I didn't give myself that break away from it.

For shorter things though, often I just write, edit/proof, immediately post. Sometimes I know there are things I just need to get out there and not worry about, just get out my system, just be stress free, or things I need to stop looking at and let it go.

Thank you so much for the ask love!!! This was very fun !! <33333 sorry it's so long omg hope you enjoyed reading

[yxstxrdrxxm-a]

And that... Is the end of Flawed.

Or the one I hosted for my silly event here anyway.

[ TL;DR under read more: The lack of interest and stress I got from irl matters led me to drop the event and ending it early, but! I have a blog made for the sake of continuing/restarting the event.

Please vote on the poll if you want it to be catered to the reader or stick to Yesterday, and be unbiased, too. Vote what you want, and I'll try and make it happen.]

CONTEXT UTC:

So, I know you guys have a lot of questions, and I can't blame you. I know the biggest one in your mind right now, which is:

Why did I end Flawed early?

The reason why I ended Flawed was actually multiple. Please keep in mind that these are for my observations, and overall I'm not blaming anyone for this. I just noticed it and thought I should bring it up lol.

1. Writing for days burnt me out.

Although Flawed is a passion story/project of mine, writing so much burnt me out. And by a lot. There were days I struggled to think of writing because I have other commitments to do, and sometimes its why polls came out super late or super early. I tried to compensate for it by posting 1 poll a day, but when it didn't work, I pushed myself to make more for 1 day.

I wanted so badly for the whole event to flow like a CYOA because by next month (April), I won't be free to host this as I used to with OLC. However, in that process, I burnt myself out to the point I needed to take longer breaks/forget this event.

It sucks. I would not recommend doing this if you think you want to (because it is NOT worth it).

2. Interactions were... Lacking.

This event is interaction heavy, and the reason why is because you guys control the story that Yesterday and others are in. Naturally, this also affects the characters and how I shape Flawed from start to finish. I have a plot line for it, of course, but the interactions were... Not there.

I noticed the usual ones from my mutuals, sure, but there were moments that I felt like I was simply posting to no one. It was unfortunate during the time with Diluc, where I had hoped that some of you would go, but due to complications (ahem, the votes weren't able to decide on going when the deadline was up), I had to write how it's supposed to go with some... Changes.

It also made me feel sad to see that there weren't much (if at all) interactions to Yesterday. Tinuvion received a fair bit, which is nice because he's a little shit (please bully him lol), but Yesterday after the first week and a half just... Didn't get any. At least, in my records.

I'm not saying this to guilt you guys to interact more, but I am saying this because it feels sad for me to see that unlike OLC, this... Flopped. I had a lot of responses + moments planned if it took off that much, but... Oh well. There's always that one story that won't hit for everyone.

And finally:

3. Maybe you guys wanted it to be catered to you, not to an OC.

I had a feeling that, from the start, Flawed may not take off.

Unlike One Last Call (which was a matchup event + story), Flawed was a CYOA but you guys aren't the main focus/MC, Yesterday (my oc) is. I was hoping that with this method, you guys get to play the omnipotent voice and see how far the story can go until it's conclusion.

However, as I hosted the event for the next few days to weeks, I realized that it was simply too difficult. Maybe I wasn't prepared to host this type of format, as ambitious as it is, but I realized that maybe, you guys don't deserve this format and I should've made it catered to a reader insert instead.

It was hard for me to swallow the pill that this event may not be fun for the majority. I knew that having an OC be the MC + canon characters interact with them may be flaky at best (esp the whole OC x Canon being... well. very much a huge "oh dear"), but seeing minimal interaction/interest than my friends were (and people I admire, too. Hi Harmony! o/!!) and realizing that maybe I shouldn't have done this just... Made me regret it.

For that, I'd like to say:

I'm so, so sorry that this event failed. I'm very sorry if you guys expected it to be like OLC: about the reader/reader insert format.

I know it's not right for me to apologize, but I feel that I have to. I let all of you down, and I don't want you guys to be disappointed in something that you all don't like to see in this blog.

So I decided that I'll run this event in its own blog, but here's the thing.

I don't know if I should keep Yesterday in the blog.

I have to open up a poll for this, so here's the options you guys have for it's fate:

If you guys want it to be a reader insert game (aka you are the main star, not Yesterday), I will set up a menu to BUILD your personal darling.

This means that you guys get to decide how darling will look, the gender, their preferences, and even their job. However, this will be for your darling, and if darling dies, you can't use them anymore.

PROS: This is catered to the reader, and thus, you guys are the ones to choose your own destiny. I won't be the one to decide this time, and if the majority agrees on a specific option, your darling will do just that. This is also more open for variety + reader/canon interaction because I know some of you would have a lot of fun being able to see yourselves in the story.

CONS: When your darling dies, you get the chance to restart. However, the game will continue on with a new darling you guys will have to make and the stats reset to zero. The characters will also mention your past darling, and you'll have to restart from scratch. I still need to tweak this, but just know that it is VERY tricky for you if your first darling dies.

If you guys want it to stay the same (Yesterday is the MC), the format will remain the same.

This means what you witnessed here in the blog WILL happen on the other blog.

PROS: You guys get to either continue or restart with Yesterday's story, and with newfound knowledge, you get to choose more options that were previously unavailable. This also opens up to you all being able to essentially shape Yesterday's outlook + what'll happen to them, because you are the one guiding them to their happy ending.

CONS: This one does not offer a restart like the reader insert (one try only), and this could result to another "this'll flop because many people aren't interested". We've seen it happen here, so please decide wisely.

If you guys want BOTH, the format will be different as you have the option to build a darling (reader insert) or stick to Yesterday's story.

This means there will be a new system for both options to be available, alongside new menus!

PROS: You guys get to have a chance of an 'easy route' or 'hard route' and all of you can use your experience/s to get your desired ending for either one <3 go crazy lol

CONS: If you choose one of the two options for both, the latter will be locked. That's the only consequence I have for this one tbh.

So yes, I'd like to say thank you, and sorry for the fail of Flawed on this blog. I wish I could give you all the quality like in OLC, but there were... Too many things to consider. Sobs.

If you guys still want to continue, please lmk. I worked hard on Flawed and I still want to continue, but this time, its a permanent event and will be on my own pace.

Thank you for your support. Again. And I'll see you guys next time (be it a random fic or the next event <3)

[popcornfairy28]

An update!

Just right now, I just went through my "read by the author" podfics on AO3 and changed the "Read by the Author" tag (which was meant for podfic) to the now dedicated "Podfic Read by the Author" tag. Technically, it's the same tag functionally, but now it just says it lol. I also added the tag "Podfic and Text in the Same Work" for the more recent works where that is appropriate. I'm so excited that AO3 added those tags! I had been using "Podfic & Podficced Works" for the latter, and that tag is still on those works.

But that's not really what I wanted to share with y'all 😅

You're gonna have to say goodbye to sleep-deprived me, because I am finally curing my insomnia of recent years. Turns out, my current bedroom is a lot more disruptive with noise at night from inside the house than my old (much smaller) bedroom, so I've been sleeping in there for the past four nights and I've had sooooo much energy and been so productive!! I have gotten to become a much lighter sleeper than I used to be, so it took me ridiculously long to figure that out. I really should've figured it out earlier, since even the numbers don't lie. When I was in my old bedroom was when I first started posting to AO3 and wrote 50000+ words (and probably much more, but for WIPs) in a month, and my three year hiatus immediately started as soon as I moved to my "new" bedroom. So ummm we'll see what this does for my writing productivity 🤞

For writing, I might as well tell you how it's going. Here's the order I hope to update my WIPs: First Snow, The Older Siblings (+ prequel), Perry the Teenage Spy, and then Bap Away at My Heart should be getting its last chapter at the end of the month/early March. Any The Golden Years installments will have to wait until March/April. I will also be attempting to participate in the Inklings Challenge Four Loves Challenge, and I'd still love to write some for the Christmas Challenge. At some point, I will update the Chesterton Challenge Prompts before May. I won't give any specific dates, as I never succeed at them lol.

I still have a few podfics left to edit from Voiceteam Mystery Box. I will be working on them for this week and potentially the next. Then I will be posting a few romantic-ish ones for Valentine's Day. Then I hope to post a few for the "Leading Ladies" Podfest going on this month. In March, I hope to be mostly working on a longer podfic for the Podfic Big Bang. In April, I will be posting my bloopers of my "read by the author" podfics for my anniversary of my 2nd podfic (as that was the one that Voiceteam reached out to me and got me really making podfics), and then I plan to take it easy with podfics in order to gear up for Voiceteam again in May (Then I will definitely be editing Voiceteam podfics in June, if not also July).

Another thing I want to do with podfics this year are go back through and make versions with music! I want to record a few stings and jingles and such from the shows with my guitar and add them for page breaks and such. And, if I could figure it out, I would also add audio effects. (I also have a New Year's Resolution to make 100 podfics this year, and I'm already a tenth of the way there! It would be really funny if I already hit this with Voiceteam events haha)

Sorry for the long post, but it does show that my concentration has very much improved with better sleep 😂 Considering I just wrote this out in 15 minutes!

(I can of course get sick and throw this all out of whack, since the flu has been going around, SO while this isn't entirely unrealistic planning, it is a bit hopeful)

[crguang]

AHHHH that was so good i miss my wife :/. the way i also cleaned my room (i'm moving out of my dorm), drew kafka and watched a show i think she'd like...my life is so unoriginal...omg my friend sent me that art hehe. for my aforementioned fic i saw another art of kafka from that acc. it's like her curled up like a cat with light slanting across her face? that may be a scene idk yet. i've been reading thru ur fics and there's something abt the writing style, just like, the word choice in general is very like well i don't know how to describe it but it evokes a lot of melancholy, there's a sense of finality? i don't know wtf i'm talking about right now i was just in a car for 8 hours so my apologies.

anyway uhh i need some of ur input. so basically at the beginning of my fic r has joined the stellaron hunters semi-recently, and like they are also a freak about human connection so kafka is like slightly intrigued i guess? but basically r is like "wait kafka is so hot and since nothing is ever going to happen between us it's totally fine to have feelings". and i guess it's kind of supposed to be the same way w kafka. like idk if we talked abt it but kafka's cameo in 3.0 where I assume she got closer to the TB because she knew they would get their memory erased/leave. so basically the premise is reciprocated feelings but it's unrequited because they're weirdos.

i don't really know how to write dialogue for kafka? like r barely talks they mostly just like daydream and they ruminate quite a bit throughout the fic and don't really say too much of what they're thinking, so i'm not sure 😭 i haven't really written fanfic before. dw tho i plan on posting it on ao3 whenever i finish (if i do lmao) and if i end up being too shy to post i might just send it to you anyway.

also i haven't gotten on hsr in ages. like i got on some during finals but i just don't have any motivation at all. like classes ended and i don't want to do anything. maybe it's the depression but like idk it's frustrating. i just want kafka back 😭 tbh i haven't had any motivation to play games in general for a while, like all these gachas are just taking up storage. i just think it's mentally exhausting to get into new stories and stuff, like ik i'll really enjoy them it's just...idk. but i'm so bad at all the games i play i fear. the powercreep in hsr is soo bad 😭😭😭 i've kind of given up on pulling or doing any endgame. like i'm not interested in wtf is happening in hsr rn.

umm anyway that was longer than expected but it's okay if ur offline bc atp kafka should just move to a different game. but yeah hope u are doing good! wish me luck bc i have to move back in with my parents for the summer.

-🌠

the way every time something comes out like hsr news or whatever, i form my opinion and youre in my inbox a little while later typing out exactly what im thinking… and now we were doing the same thing on the same day its so crazy hdjdkdjf tbh i wrote that in because it’s what i did and i was self inserting #hard in that drabble so… i feel like it kinda shows when im truly self inserting in my kafka works because the reader is a lot sassier 😭 but anyway, ive been seeing that person’s art every day since they started the 100 day kafka art challenge and its been an absolute blessing because i dont see much kafka fanart (i have 90% of hyv twt blocked </3). so i think i know what piece you’re talking about, i love all the different ways they represent her its so cute.

as for the writing part, i think that may be because 1) im depressed lol and 2) i often write kafka from the perspective of someone who’s chasing after her while she chases a destiny bigger than they are, so it’s pretty weighty and sad. i dont really notice how my writing comes across unless the melancholy is on purpose (like when i write angst) so your input is very interesting!

mmm, what im understanding is that its mutual pining between r and kaf but they just wont do anything about it? are you asking for ways to show that kaf is pining through her interactions with r or just that you’re not sure what they’d talk about? either way i think since youre dealing with guarded kafka here, if you wanna translate her pining it would be through action more than whatever she’s saying. you can make her stare/hold eye contact longer than she has to, initiate physical proximity bc she doesnt care about that, have her be flirty but in a casual, teasing way cause that’s just how she is. i believe that one drabble i wrote about her yearning could be a good guide if youre stuck? should be under the “sat babbles” tag since i haven’t updated my masterlist, but kafka likes to talk. even if r is reserved she would initiate conversations. you can use the context of an upcoming mission or something if you just need an excuse to have them talk. ive written something about an extraverted reader but who’s just as guarded as she is— games people play? kafka’s pining showed through physical intimacy and possessiveness there. it’s all about keeping it surface level but showing some cracks here and there. kafka would talk the way she always does, it’s her actions that weigh more i would say. i hope this helps a bit😭

i really understand the burn out from gachas because that’s what im going through 😭 i dont like the direction theyre taking with hsr and the constant powercreeping and heavily encouraging players to always pull for the latest character its just annoying. i think you should take some time not doing anything cause you deserve some time off after the semester fr. dont worry abt those games they’ll always be back if u wanna get back into them

hope youre doing okay and good luck with your parents!!

[aria-bun]

2024 Fic Review

I was tagged by @m34gs, you can view their post here.

Statistics

My Top 5 Fics by Hits:

Of Flowers and Cat-Tails - Catwin fic, Flower Shop/Tattoo Parlor AU It's Quicker and Easier to Eat Your Young - Sorvus fic, s7 prediction with Half-Elf!Soren, Co-written with @sorinethemastermind Oh Brother of Mine (It's been a long, long time) - SoC oneshot where Matthias meets Jordie in the afterlife Well, you don't know me (but I know you) - SoC oneshot where Kaz bakes for the crows The Swan Upon Leda - TDP Sorvus fic, arc 3 where Soren leaves and gets a daughter

My Most Bookmarked Fic:

Of Flowers at Cat-Tails - (see above)

How Many Words I Wrote in 2024:

89,624

QUESTION THINGS:

What was the most surprising thing about writing in 2024: Probably the amount of traction my Catwin fic got. It was the first fic I ever fully completed (not including oneshots), and I found out that my friend's mom read it before she even knew me. So, that was fun.

What was the most enjoyable thing to write: By far, my s7 prediction fic with @sorinethemastermind, it has been a blast, and we are far from done!

Which fic is the most underrated: Probably stop my pain (it's crashing down, the sound of thunder), the platonic catwin oneshot I wrote for whumptober. It was my first technically MCD, but he came back to life so I don't think it counted. But yeah, I think I did really good.

Which fic(s) had something "cut" or an idea that never happened: Ooh, in And with your mermaid hair and your teeth so sharp, Soren and Rayla weren't going to be friends originally; they just knew each other from being in close proximity. Rayla would've barely tolerated him, but my writing got a mind of its own and BOOM friendship.

Which fic(s) did you want to write but didn't get around to: Ohhh my Del Bar Soren AU. I got partway through chapter one. Also this au I had where Corvus was a sorcerer who lived in the woods, and Soren was a shapeshifter who could turn into a small dragon and ended up being his familiar. Corvus would've ended up taking Callum on as an apprentice, too. Really loved that idea.

Any WIPs that never got published: A few. I was rewriting an old WoF Human HS au titled Welcome to the Playground, but lost inspo so that didn't end up getting out. There was also This Is How Villians are Made, which was my Arcane Maddie backstory about her in Noxus because I find her super interesting. I'm usually pretty good at posting my WIPs, my issue is usually just finishing them lol.

Share a snipped from a WIP fic: I'll do you one better- ya'll can get a snippet from my original story Hollowed Pearls:

Salome glanced up from her book every few pages, towards the Libor harbor. Energy pulsed through her veins, but she wasn’t sure if that was the wind tugging at her, desperate to be manipulated, or because her sister was finally home again. Her eyes landed on The Sun Howler, her sister’s esteemed vessel, with its cream sails emblazoned with her emblem; a sun with a dagger stabbed through the center. The rest of the ship was a dark wood, worn from its time on the sea. She still remembered the first time Maeve set out overseas. She wasn’t captain then, instead just a sixteen year old with a wish and a plan. Salome was eleven then, and remembered running down the dock, her bare feet hitting heavy against the wood while trying to chase the ship, while Maeve was waving back at her. That was five years ago, and those five years seemed to have passed by in a blur. Maeve would come home between adventures every now and then, never saying any longer than a weekend, before letting the tide pull her back out and into a new adventure.

8. Which fic was the one you were most excited to write: I'll have to say, my Sorvus Coffee Shop AU But after sunlit days, one thing stays the same (rises the moon). I just love the cozy gays. 9. Fic hopes for the New Year: I'm really hoping to focus less on fics, actually, and more on my original story. But on the fic front, I do want to finish up my WIPs, tie up loose ends, yknow that jazz.

No Pressure Tags: @sorinethemastermind @randomfandom-3 @jelzorz @lilisouless @19burstraat

[jezmmart]

Unwarped version of the photo from the very end of the Summer Special for funsies.

No more jokes or avoiding questions about exactly how long it's going to be, the Summer Special is truly over now!  Thank you all again for reading. I hope it was enjoyable for those invested in the characters and those who just tune in each week for a quick chuckle alike.

It's been a fun challenge to write my first longform story for the comic, as it's far from something I'm confident in.  All together it clocked in at 85 pages (though shave a few off in spots where I just used negative space for dramatic effect rather than filling the longer pages with panels all the way down).  With the average page taking me 3-5 hours to make, that's about 14 days of work.  If I just didn't sleep I could've cranked this out in less than a month, dang!  Well, next time.

I've had the jist for this story in my head for a fair few years so it's been nice to finally realise it.  I'll get into the nitty-gritty when the trivia posts get this far I'm sure, but while it's still fresh in my mind, here's some off-the-cuff bits regarding the broad story for fun:

(Spoilers for anyone who hasn't read it yet!)

* I originally envisioned this as a thing I'd secretly work on behind the scenes and drop in its entirety for download, framed like a traditional "summer special" magazine. But unfortunately I just don't have that kind of time, and knowing that it would be years of work to do it alongside my other output, paired with the fear that not every reader would necessarily ever get around to reading a longform thing when they're used to just tuning in for a 30 second fix once a week and moving on, it became a no-brainer to just make it a "special" in spirit only and make it part of the main comic.  And I know myself, the only way this was ever getting done is if I just posted that first one and then locked myself in to having to finish it, one week at a time.

* The fact that I did it in 2022-2023, and the pacing of the story for the first half, was entirely dictated by the fact that Chamomile's update day was due to land on Christmas Day in 2022.  If I wanted to make that inappropriate Christmas Day comic joke, it was now or never, and because it needed to be a standalone ridiculous one comic scene in juxtoposition to the rest of the story-driven special, staging it as a dream sequence between the two days had to be the time for it.

* To that end... when I began working on it, I didn't have the whole thing planned out.  Day 1 of the trip was more or less sorted but I still had a ton of comics that were just scenes with no jokes yet, and Day 2 was a big question mark that somehow had to lead to Vi's dramatic reveal to Bri and realisation/meet-up with Sam at the end of it.  Day 2 was only fleshed out and finalised by around December last year, when everyone was going to bed on Day 1!  The idea to more thoroughly conclude Brianna's story in an extra epilogue, segregated off from the rest of the special so Sam and Vi's scene would still feel like a "climax", and also allowing the summer special to continue through this year's summer rather than ending right beforehand, only came to me early this year, and finalising the particulars of it came right down to the wire, with all the comics involved fleshed out and ready to go basically when I began drawing the first (or maybe even second, lol).

* On the note of Brianna, her story here is a lighter version of a story idea I had for her back before Cammie even existed and I was considering making a comic about her - a story in which someone returns to their hometown or a special place to find solace but instead finds out that everything has changed and has to learn a hard lesson about how nostalgia can't save you from adult life overwhelming you etc.  In my head it was to be a relatively sombre mood, but tbh I don't know where to begin writing something like that and have it be engaging throughout.  All I know is how to do jokes!!  So I mourn the loss of that imagined version but I'm happy I made something of it at last.  It's impossible to make stuff to your initial vague vision, it was always bound to change!

* While weekly updates meant I never had the time to flesh out their pre-relationship friendship as much as I'd always imagined I would... Sam and Vi have been destined to happen since Sam was introduced to the comic.  Been playing the long game in trying to make them inconspicious but shippers gonna ship and plenty of people saw it coming, but that's fine, haha!

* The elongated search for a 20p coin to get into the public toilets and then it turning out that contactless card payment could have been used the entire time was a real thing that happened to me and my partner during our 2016 holiday in New Forest.  It was really really funny and I've been sitting on the story in order to use it in Chamomile at some point for years and years.

That'll do for now!  Please look forward to the return to regular ol' classic Chamomile antics from Sunday!

[moonshine-nightlight]

Will all of Dale out, I took the time over the past few days to reread all of it (pretty much all I did because sleep work and eat!) And oh man, I wish I could experience it anew again! To see how far you as a writer had come during the entirely of this, and seeing how sana and Dale grew and changed together.. it was just so well done!

Do you have plans to visit them again, in the future? Couldn't help but notice some things were left unfinished ;) and also I would LOVE to hear certain parts of the story from Dale's perspective. Those last few chapters when we finally *finally* got to peer into who he really is just made me want more!

And again, thank you for all the time and effort you put into this series. I don't think I'll ever forget it! (I also really like some of your shorter series, I went back to read them again too!)

@watch-out-for-them

thanks for sending this in! that's so sweet! i've hoarded this for a month because december flew by so fast

i do have some idea for little bonus stories and for full stories that take place in the same universe/setting (with a name-drop or mention of Dale and Sana etc), but no proper sequel is currently planned. One of the bonuses would be what you mentioned - specifically Chapter 6 (Walk in the Garden) from Dale's POV - as well as other ideas. it is hard to write companions stories from another POV if the main POV is 2nd person lol. I've helpful sorted my handful or ideas into categories because i lov to organize in excel instead of writing (the categories are: pre, mid, & post story; AU; Parody; and Outside POV)

one in particular i wanted to get out before the year ended, but i'm not quite done with it. originally after Chapter 24 (Assassin Aftermath) Sana was going to have a spicy dream about Dale, which is referenced in Chapter 25 as having happened, but which was originally going to be in the story proper. however, not only was a behind in writing with the story ending up longer than i planned, but it became hard to figure out how it would work since Sana thought Dale knew but he didn't and i didn't want be to get confused about that, also Sana wouldn't know the truth of how the Depths worked or Dale's backstory so i couldn't include much of that (because i didnt want ppl to think Dale could lik dreamwalk etc or something). It jsut got to be a weird balancing act that i didnt have time to figure out so i didn't. however, i decided to make a bonus/AU divergence where I changed the fight scene and did have Dale come to talk to Sana after the fight alone and stuff~ happens~.

this side path/AU story is what i wanted to get out over the holidays and which i have made progress on, but still isn't finished. i will try to get it out within the week (the modified end-of-fight to have an obvious reveal is done and i might put out today or tomorrow since its just a tweaked chapter 23). I've got over 3k for the new chapter and have been making progress, it just will not be done today lol

thank you so much for reading and sending in this ask! getting messages and comments and tags like this make all the effort worth it! ^^