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#its just not worth it i think. who fucking cares
the-kipsabian · 9 months
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im really just struggling at this point again to think that i can do anything with writing. or that im any good at it, that the things i make are any good or worth anyones time. that what little i manage to push out rn is even worth the effort of even making
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and if i told you my new interest is the new fairly oddparents.
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be warned the tags are a psychoanalysis of his character
#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#dev dimmadome#fop dev#a new wish#fop art#fopanw#i love dev actually#hes my exact character architype#snobby rich kid who thinks he owns everything and believes hes objectively better than everyone else#but he doesnt actually believe that and hes also actually just extremely insecure#because his lack of parental care and love impacts his growth as a person#thus teaching him that the best way to garner attention is to be something worth that attention#which leads him to try to enforce control of others and even implement a capitalistic system in his fucking school#in order to feel like he has control over something#because the rest of his life is so unpredictable and uncomfortable#that his only comfort isnt even a source of comfort#just a stereotype hes given to hismelf that hes grown so accustomed to that its become what even he believes is his true nature#because he wholeheartedly believes theres no other way to be until someone comes into his life#and gives him a new way to have control of his life and even garner a different kind of attention#but at the end of the day no matter what he does and how he tries people still assume he will always be thta negative stereotype#because hes enforced it so heavily its just how people will view him imemdiately#even if they try to be patient with him and help him change#thus teaching him that no matter what he does he will always be the same#giving him the “once a bully always a bully” mindset#anyways yeah#i love you development devin dev dimmadome
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faaun · 5 months
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procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally
#on my friends living room floor they love together but one of them has been london for weeks or maybe months#to be with her love. im on a foam mattress from one of their beds next to a glass bottle of water opened by one of them#in a mug given to me by another. the weather felt like my childhood today and it also felt like 2 years ago.#(put space in the heavens Einstein's idea and hes your friend too so nothing to fear) around the table they drank and laughed and i thought#i hope you keep growing so full with the love you receive . i hope your appetite becomes insatiable from how used to it you are#and i know youre all leaving soon but i hope one day you miss this and that youll be happy you miss it#its worth missing i think#i thought he didnt care but he said after exams hes going walk around this area over and over#(this is near where he lived and where we visited almost daily for a year)#(hed come across the bridge on a lake)#we went where she used to live and at the entrance a fox sat calmly. it just yawned and stared.#it felt important somehow. i think maybe their impressions of me will never be close to how i feel inside but i think#i love them enough for that not to matter. i dont think theyll ever know this. i dont think if they did it would change much.#and seeing them smile makes my heart glow anyway. today i tried their malaysian tea the ginger burned my throat#they warmed my heart. hes going to canada soon and hes going to the US soon and shes going everywhere soon ill never understand#how were supposed to live with memories and with seperation and with the past but we do it anyway so i think it doesnt matter much#i wanted to write a poem for the lab rats with the fibre optic wires lit with blue forcing them to turn around and around#something about how im sorry that the two photon arrays burned the inside of your brain. im sorry about the sharp points of multielectrode#arrayes. im sorry about everything we do to you. she asked to see me tomorrow. im trying to have self control but i miss her so awfully#last night my friend talked to me and i updated on everything that happened with love and the lack of it and she just started laughing#and she told me about the same thing from her side. and she told me about how she loved london because she would walk the streets#and she felt like the people were her. and her eyes would go over the people and the bag of bagels and the construction men they probably#have a kid at home maybe shes a daughter. this kid is crying for her mother and the building you just walked past caused#blisters and pain and people died in it and very likely people were born in it. we talked for hours and i felt like#i was holding her hand just like that time she held mine watching a horror film. i love her so much#my friend is a genius and i remember her picking up the charms of my phone and staring at the leaf hanging from them. shes side stepping to#music drinking dangerous cider and cocktails from a movie and chit chatting with billionaires and undergrads#i love her dearly. his head covered in electrodes. she tells me about a syrian guy shes in love with and she says#what you feel and what i feel is like cocaine. ive tried a lot of fucking cocaine.#she says ive reminded her of what living actually feels like and to never put energy into someone who doesnt see me this way.
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conchfritters · 8 months
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last post complaining about genshin's writing for the month Anyway i think blorbofication happening in canon is the best way i could describe a lot of the problems i have with it ex. kaeya's relationship with diluc (or klee) is almost the only focus we get on him now, other than his brief appearance in the sumeru archon quest which was just saying his backstory basically with very little actual reaction or characterization on his part OR dainsleif's (also a problem i have in the albedo homunculus reveal in shadows amidst snowstorms). i haven't done his hangout because i. don't care enough to sit through an hour for each route with the quality of content hoyoverse puts out but looking at the ending options i feel like. they missed the opportunity to expand on things we already had for kaeya in favor of Oh he babysits klee! Oh albedo is here! Spend money to pull albedo!Venti cameo! What do you mean him and amber have a complicated dynamic. What do you mean he's apparently beloved by the elderly of mondstadt and the one who wraps up all the incidents there. What do you mean bennett trusts him as an omniscient big brother according to his official cn character profile. We made him talk to diluc again isn't that enough kaeya for you? and it sucks because kaeya feels like a rubik's cube with an onion's layers and like one of their best character personalities in content where he's actually kaeya and not just diluc's brother who is sad and also pretty! we never see anything about his relationship with jean, who he is the Most Trusted Aide of, or mondstadt at large! because every day we get closer to fanon kaeya being canon kaeya and it's just. You can have canon kaeya and fanon kaeya will follow but if fanon kaeya is at the forefront you're just immediately losing all that depth and it's going nowhere
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sadkachow · 26 days
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You cannot claim to be anti-AI while still actively seeking out and using AI.
Once again.
You cannot claim to be anti-AI while still using generative AI, no matter the reason.
(Bold/italicized text: You cannot claim to be anti-AI while still using generative AI, no matter the reason.)
Even if you’re just using it to make fun of it or show how bad it is.
Even if it’s only for your personal use, and you don’t plan on sharing it with anyone.
Even if you’re “just” roleplaying on Character AI.
If you are willing to justify your usage of a system created and profiting off of stealing from artists and writers, a symstem that is destroying the Earth, then you were never as “against that system” as you think you were. Being anti-AI isn’t something that exists only in name. You can’t claim to be against AI if you are willing and able to use it as soon as it benefits you. You can’t say you’re for writers’ and artists’ rights if you’re using the very thing that is causing them harm. You can’t claim to care about climate change and saving the Earth if you are participating in the system that is destroying it.
There is no middle ground here.
There is no “Oh, but I-“.
If you have the knowledge of what generative AI is doing, of how it is hurting people, and you choose to use it anyway, you aren’t  against it. You aren’t fighting against that system, you’re upholding it.
You can say how much you hate AI and how horrible you think it is, if you choose to use it anyway, then your actions and your words are not lining up, and the former reveals so much more than the latter.
Stop pretending like AI is something you can condemn only in name, while using it to your heart’s content in your free time. All it does it tells writers and artists that you don’t really care about us, and that any actions you claim to be taking to protect us are performative at best and lies or even outright malicious at worst.
You are—and I mean this in the kindest way possible, even with the fury that generative AI invokes in me—a complete and utter hypocrite. AI is not your friend. It is a tool, and it is a tool that steals from writers and artists in order to function. It is a tool that is using levels of energy and emitting amounts of polution in order to be maintained that are actively damaging the Earth. No matter how much you try to justify using it to yourself, that doesn’t change.
Stop hiding under the guise of being anti-AI while continuing to use it yourself.
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bonetrousledbones · 8 months
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falling to my knees sobbing bc i saw somebody point something out about the knight papyrus theory that was the most solid reason for debunking it i've ever seen and it was like 1 sentence long
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jinxofthedesert · 6 months
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I recently got out of a toxic and unhealthy friendship on here. I had to be the one to end it; hopefully the other party decides to leave it be and not smear my name due to realizing it wasn't healthy and that I had to end it because of it.
Basically, if someone makes you start feeling like shit, from your life, to your goals, passion, and everything else, then it's not a rewarding friendship. And it's hard to sometimes see it in the moment. Because you want to think the best of peeps, especially ones you care about.
But sometimes the healthiest thing for You is to know when to put your foot down and end it, even if it hurts you and them. At the end of the day, you matter and what you're doing matters and no one has the right to make you feel shit for who you are when you're just living your life. Life is hard enough without adding peeps who make you feel that way or question how you live when, prior to them showing up, you were happy with all of it.
To anyone in a relationship or friendship like that, I hope, like me, you are able to take a stand and realize you deserve better.
I knew I was being manipulated but not how much until I talked to others close to me. I pray you all never have to experience such a thing because damn, you know you did the right thing, but feel so fucking guilty at the same time.
But your happiness matters. You matter. Please remember that.
#personal#me#had to make a post. it's been eating at me since I ended it#you feel so fucking guilty but know it was the right decision.#i feel happier and lighter#its weird cause I've met my closet friends on here who are so incredible and supportive and respectful and I am in return#so to have one spiral into....that....was hard. and hard to realize despite my stomach aching day after day trying to tell me that#this was a shit situation and I deserved better#if someone makes you feel like shit and makes you believe you deserve to feel that way: leave#just leave#block them#life is to damn short to share it with people who will only make it worse and and make you feel bad as a person#i have more self respect than that#and sometimes it's hard to tell cause I want peeps to get along and have a good time when I care for them#i like making peeps happy. it brings me joy. and I tend to do it naturally without thinking.#so it's hard to sometimes see when it's not healthy#i pray for anyone in a relationship/friendship like this#know you are worth it and no one has the right to make you feel like that.#when someone doesn't respect that you have a life and can't be there 24/7 and take it Personally when you can't....like no#I've had so many friendships on here that respect your time and realize messaging comes second maybe even third or fourth#and it sucks when the opposite happens and it just gets worse and worse.#And them using 'i used to be a therapist so I know you better then yourself' should never be an excuse for them putting you down EVER.
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magentagalaxies · 3 months
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sometimes being the director of the buddy cole documentary is an emotional rollercoaster for reasons entirely unrelated to actual controversy with the character
basically. this morning paramount took down the comedy central website and made every link redirect to paramount plus (which i do not have). previously you could find clips from every time buddy cole was a correspondent on the colbert report for free on the comedy central website, but not only are those free clips no longer up, paramount plus doesn't even have the colbert report.
so even if this craven attempt to get people to pay ransom subscribe to their streaming service worked, they didn't even take the clips with them!!!
so i was in mourning for a solid few hours this morning bc like if i'd known this was going to happen i would have at least screen-recorded each of the segments even if it meant the audio sync was a little off. but i had no idea this was going to happen and now yet another piece of buddy cole media was lost forever. and i'm used to having gaps in my timeline. stuff like scottland and the lowest show i've only been able to watch bc bellini happened to have a dvd he could digitize. and stuff like the buddy cole funny or die clips, out on the edge, and the ctv royal wedding special i may never see. but when something like this happens in real time after i've already dedicated myself to preserving and documenting the works of buddy cole, it really stings
i know i shouldn't feel like i somehow "failed buddy" for not preserving these episodes. i had no idea comedy central's parent company was going to throw out so much of their content, we're just in a literal hellscape with regards to how corporations value art. but i can't help but feel a little protective of buddy - not protective in terms of controversy, per se, controversy is a natural reaction to everything scott does with buddy cole and i don't always have to agree with everything the character stands for. i've already gotten a taste of being in my own buddy cole controversy, and it was horrible but it also felt like this is what's supposed to happen because we're now able to have this conversation. but being completely forgotten? that doesn't feel natural one bit even though it keeps happening to so much of this character's timeline.
anyway, i pasted the links into the wayback machine and even tho it could load the interface it couldn't load the videos. i found a record of each episode on the internet archive but they're all chopped into 1-2 minute clips, there's an option to "borrow" full episodes and have them mail you a flashdrive but i have no idea how that works and if i'd then be allowed to copy the episodes onto my own computer. i eventually found the colbert report is still available to purchase on itunes for $1.99 per episode - i'd need four specific episodes so that would be more like $8, which isn't too bad, but still stings just on principle. plus, what if that iTunes interface goes down someday? the only colbert report dvds are "best of" and even if i think buddy cole is the best part of anything he's in, the people making the dvds probably don't.
#itunes also only has colbert report episodes from 2012-2014 which is fine for my purposes since this is all 2014#but like that means several seasons of this show are just lost altogether#and ik it's like ''who tf watches episodes of late night shows from more than a few weeks ago anyway''#but like they're still worth preserving as a historical artifact of the way comedy dealt with the news at the time#like john oliver recently bought the rights to his own back catalogue of last week tonight#and has been releasing them onto youtube one season at a time and i've been eating those up bc they're so fascinating#even if they're not ''current''#i also had to check if ''the president show'' suffered the same fate bc that was a comedy central original#and despite its gimmicky premise it's genuinely one of the best trump satires i've ever seen bc it reaches beyond the obvious joke#and actually tries to understand why people would fall for this guy's scams while satirizing the man himself#that one made the jump to paramount plus at least. which i guess is a win even if it means i'll probably be unable to watch it#but god i fucking hate our current media landscape and how easy it is for a show to disappear completely#and i think the worst part of seeing it happen to a buddy cole thing is knowing i'm probably the only one who noticed or cared#i'm the only one going down this buddy cole rabbit hole so to most viewers any buddy media outside kith might as well not exist#and in my doc i'm trying to justify that it's all worth something. from the iconic kith sketches to the comedy central guest spots#to the bizarre low-budget webseries scott filmed with his brother#it's all buddy to me. but in fifty years? maybe none of it will be.
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stardust-sunset · 28 days
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(vent in the tags and under the cut. don’t read if you don’t want.)
sometimes i wonder if people would care if i was gone. there’s just no point anymore tbh.
#tw sui ideation#its honestly just been going through my head for a while#the past two weeks my parents haven’t talked about anything besides my brother#i kinda just feel like i’ve been forgotten in a way#i just feel lonely i guess#and i hate it#it’s just one of those days where i feel lethargic and just numb frankly#and i’m tying to keep posting because it’s not fair that others who don’t give a shit have to read my vents#but i just can’t do this anymore#i’m going through a lot rn#between yesterday and my dog being sick and school starting and my grandma getting surgery and having to move in with my family#it’s all just a lot rn#and sometimes i just think about it and i just hate it#i hate having dark thoughts like this#i’ve been my only therapist because i can’t talk to my parents#i can’t talk to them about this stuff or they’ll just give me the “you can be sad but you can’t pack up and live there” bullshit#I DIDNT FUCKING ASK FOR THIS#that pisses me off so bad#i didn’t fucking ask to have suicidal thoughts?#sometimes i’ll just choke myself with my dog’s leash as a form of punishment because it just makes me feel good#atp i don’t care if i go too far because it’s not worth it anymore#it just doesn’t feel like life’s worth living#there’s nothing to enjoy or look forward to atp#i just need a friend#i’m so tired of being there for people and then having to turn back to myself when i have an issue because im too cowardly to open up#i’m scared#i don’t have it bad like i don’t know why i feel like this#i have a good life#i’m just being a brat#i dunno
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boxwinebaddie · 3 months
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Wait so did Ike knoww about Stan and Kyle dating? Also I'd love to hear abt Kyle and Ikes sibling relationship thats so adorable
soooooo long story short:
...y-yes. yes, he Does know.
hOWEVER, IKE DOES NOT KNOW RAVEN IS STAN THOUGH, THAT IS SENSITIVE INFO THAT IKE CAN BE TRUSTED WITH, OFC, BUT IT WOULD PUT HIM IN DANGER AND KY WANTS TO KEEP HIM SAFE.
but long story Long...
i'll leave it in the crotch. xx
( edit: so...my bad, baby. i accidentally went on a crazy TANGENT about ike and jerseykyle's relationship bc i love them a lot and their dynamic is very complicated, so if you want that info about how ike found out about ravesey dating...i gotta put it in another ask.
bc this...got Very long.
you don't have to read this. soz. >.> )
oookay!~ so i got REALLY excited about this because rm!jerseykyle and ike's relationship is super duper special to me, in that, as sp fanfic writer girlie who tends to lean away from a more gentle, kindly, introspective kyle and much more heavily into the potential brutal parts and menacing aspects of kyle's personality when i develop my style dynamics with, ofc, jers being the most brutal of all ncu kyles...
...the way that he speaks to ike -- gently, softly, tenderly -- the way that ike disarms him, the way that j.k. unravels around ike, bends for him, it's one of the ONLY instances written into my actual published canon where we see jers be extremely vulnerable. ( not crying, lmao! )
however, i will say, it was not ALWAYS like that!
*rings the cd re-education bell*
LORE TIME!
so, per my rm!take on the south park lore, ike, ofc, was adopted from canada around age five and he...was Perfect. he was this lil gorgeous, perf, lovely thing, no health problems, dark hair, i like to think his eyes are dark brown, closer to black, sweet kid, easy-going...
...and very NOT like kyle.
and, interestingly enough, i think, At First, that sheila and gerald were super obsessed with ike, cooed over him, he was the baby, y'know? which made jerseykyle MAD jealous of ikey and an Anti from day one.
which is also v interesting because rm!ike, really just fkn Worshipped jerseykyle, wanted to be close to him, wanted his approval, craved that brotherly relationship with him, idolized him...and kyle was NOT having it, dawg! like, it took him so long to even let stan in and let his cold, black heart be light and bright enough in some spots to do That, so he pushed ike away, constantly told him to fuck off/get lost
( i do think that ike's vocab being more vulgar/him being precocious comes from wanting to impress kyle/being influenced by him ), also ike was really fkn smart from the jump in a way kyle wasn't like, to me, jerseykyle has worked hard for everything, studied hard, fought hard, and ike was naturally a child prodigy and didn't have to work that hard for anything, all while being gentle and docile and kind.
-- but going back to STAN for a minute...as a direct contrast to how jerseykyle treated ike growing up...gods angel saint ravenstan was always EXTREMELY KIND to ike. stan never had a brother: okay, he had shelley but his relationship with shelley was even more complex than ike and kyle's relationship used to be and the way shelley treated ravenstan was similar to the way jersey was treating ike, so he Deeply Sympathized with that and endeared himself to ike, encouraged him, and the more kyle pushed him away, the closer ike got to stan.
stan and ike i think ALSO had very similar interests in that they both liked louder, heavier music, revolutionary/counter culture stuff, fighting the MAN, sports ( namely hockey ) i think as a gift, actually, that ravenstan gave ike his wayne gretsky hockey yersey and ike STILL has it ( yes, kyle was jealous ), stan encouraged him to be different and carve his own path in life and while kyle, obvi, was the person most effected by stan's untimely passing...it did also do a number on ike who seriously considered stan like a brother to him and was one of the only other people who Never misgendered stan.
SPEAKING OF STAN DY*NG THOUGH: this was when everything sort of...Flipped. because when stan 'died', whatever part of kyle that could love things also died with him along with a lot of his stability.
so on top of all of his health issues, kyle got really, REALLY gnarly ptsd, would fly into blind rages, got randomly triggered by things and see stan everywhere, have really, really sever panic attacks, had to be put on several medications, got into TOOOONS of fights, etc.
and ike...was just sweet, introverted, lovely ike. stayed in his lane, did his work quietly, existed quietly...while kyle was Loud and VOLATILE.
also, to tie in Another ask where someone asked me while sheila didn't take care of ike as well as she could...fair warning, i am a liiiittle defensive abt this topic because it wasn't that she didn't want to take care of ike or meant to neglect him AT ALL, it's just...when you have a a child who has a lot going on mentally and physically, is more of a firestarter, is more aggressive or more outwardly mentally unstable...
...that tends to require more immediate attention ( especially since kyle was sooo unhinged that he was constantly in police stations, juvie, the psych ward ) and sheila's attention more helicopter parent-y in that she wanted to keep kyle safe, whereas geralds attention was more negative, felt kyle was a failure/embarrassment :/// </3 )
so ike, by COMPARISION to jersey, was VERY low maintenance, did not require to be constantly watched to make sure he didn't hurt himself or others, and so, unfortunately while sheila loved him very much ( gerald just wasn't very interested in him as the second kid other than that he not act up/argue w/ him ) he got swept under the rug because of how pliable and pleasant he was personality wise.
so sheila really does Adore ike, she just doesn't worry about him nearly as much and because of how glaring jersey's issues were, she also mistakenly assumes he's mostly fine where...i really do think ike has pretty gnarly depression, tbh. he is stan coded, i mean that. i will say that him acting out is starting to cause a stir in their house.
anyways...i am sorry this is such a MESS but jerseykyle was watched with laser focus and because of this, ike got off scott free most of the time and received almost no attention. like all his accomplishments went unnoticed or were pretty normalized because the standard he set v young being smart/capable, set the bar high. ilysm, ikey. </3
tldr; ike was The Good Child
and jersey was The Bad Child.
but, in being 'good', he got extremely overlooked by his parents.
thiiiiiiis...is where jerseykyle stepped in. so basically his entire life he was staunchly anti-ike, but he warmed up to ike a lot after stan died because they bonded over talking about him a lot/that grief, and also grew up under intense scary jewish matriarch sheila broflovski and the serious shit show that was having gerald as a father...who jersey actually regularly took shit from so ike wouldn't have to, i.g. when ike did something less than perfect or did misbehaved or fucked up, kyle always took the fall for it and was the messed up problem child, so that ike would essentially spared from gerald's mental abuse/wrath.
ike was also kind of the only person j.k. had in the world, so kyle looked after him because...again...ike is very stan coded, kyle is very protective of the lil gentle hearted people and he basically raised ike in the stead of his parents which forced him to be hard on him in a way that sheila and gerald were not hard on ike...which created a lot of dissonance when ike was becoming a teen and kyle was in hs.
so, essentially while when they were little kids, ike followed kyle around, wanted kyle to like him, thought kyle could do no wrong, as he got older and kyle started to nitpick him, actually care about him and start enforcing rules/curfews on him because no one else did, ike developed a rebellious streak and started to not like or listen to kyle because he was like, bro, whatever, you're so boring, it's one party, oh my god, just because you're boring doesn't mean i have to be!!!!
it's mostly just skin deep though, ike is only irritated because jerseykyle is mad overprotective, hard core and did not gentle parent him as an older brother at like, i shit you not fourteen, like i am so sorry but jerseykyle raised ike basically, and inspite of actin like a heartless monster...loves ike very, very much ( even if he can't say it ) and ike also loves kyle very much. jerseykyle is pretty much the only other person besides firkle, tricia, etc. ( i'll get into that in a diff ask ) that truly gave a shit about him and put weight behind his actions.
so jerseykyle is like ike's older brother/dad, rags on him about doing his homework and being an edgelord
( ike has been acting out a lot, one, because he's finally starting to come into his personality more, which, imo, my hc is that ike is p popular but mostly by accident sort of how stan was because he's pretty and very nice, ike is captain of the hockey team, his accent is cute, gets good grades ( he is slacking right now tho bc hes being edgy as hell ), is a lil skater boy gamer boy, IS V INTO TRUE CRIME, JOURNALISM AND ACTIVISM, creating positive change, exposing injustice, enjoys punk rock music, thinks emo boy stuff is neato,
IKE IS THEEEE DAWN SPAWN OF EVER AND I MEAN THAT, he is a raven of crimson dawn FAN BOY, he is obsessed; i mean that...and despite wanting to make waves in that way, like, he really is kind of an antisocial DORK but lots of girls like him, he gets invited to parties, firkle gets invited by proxy even though people think they are a crazy demonic satan worshiping freak of nature...but ike's super bestie, ofc...their relationship is also interesting...BUT YEAH! IKE! <333 )
also per rm canon, jers does miss ikes birthday every year bc going to south park triggers the fuck out of him which he feels very, very badly about, rags on him but is very pro ike doing what he wants to with reason of not acting like a goddamn FOOL and doing his laundry, his emo dirt bag phase is making kyle's eye twitch ooooof, him bleaching his hair and sticking a safety pin through his lip the second ravenstan walks through their front door while ravesey are secretly broken up and jk is extra mad at him; ITS A HOT MESS EXPRESS, Y'ALL!!!!
if you made it this far...i have to put the answer to the FIRST part of your question with all that dialogue in another ask so feel free to re-ask me that, but to reference it a little...ike is so team ravesey like it is actually painful, that is his ROMAN EMPIRE. firkle actually really does not like kyle bc they think he is lame as hell, help, and is anti-ravesey bc they think romance is a distraction,
( okay, spoiler, but firkle is in love with ike, ike does not know this, ike is super fkn oblivious and is actually very bi, so it's not like he's just not aware he is not straight, he just....actually has no idea, rip, he also has a crush on a girl in his class, it DOES make firkle want to actually dome themself to hear about it 25/8, stupid Feelings, smh, firkle b hating jersey and is lowkey a little jersey coded ) anyways they think kyle dating raven of crimson dawn is going to interfere with the band, their music, their sound and is a hater. like boooo! come on, FIRK! :/
BUT IKE IS A ROMANTIC!!! IKE IS THE JR. RAVESEY CAPTAIN!!!!
tldr; kyle and ike have a complicated relationship but love each other very much and ike does eventually learn about ravesey secret dating bc they are the brothers of ever and cannot hide shit from each other BUT I GOTTA PUT IT IN ANOTHER ASK, I AM SO SORRY, BABY, YOU GOTTA ASK ME AGAIN ABOUT THAT! but i hope this thrills you?
-uncle nina, ceo of insane hs isaac moisha broflovski lore
#i am sorry this was so long and i am not sure who cares#but idk their brotherly relationship means a lot to me#and ike actually means a lot to me#he is often over looked and very very lovely#and very deeply treasured by kyle kyle does call him bubeleh#which is very cute to me like ew he really did raise him#they were a slow burn brotherhood but worth it#i also do think its really cute that ike really liked stan#and then really liked raven of crimson dawn#like he really just feels the vibes huh#with all due respect tho i would also think pre!rm!stan was really cool and raven of crimson dawn was cool...he is that guy#I GOTTA GO INTO THAT LATER THO I AM SORRY I HAD TO GIVE YOU SO MUCH LORE I LOVE IKE AND JERSEY SM#ike is a raven of crimson dawn fanboy and the captain of the ravesey ship so sorry to everyone he is in the trenches#he is constantly catching smoke from firkle all the time about it too smh...also yeah firkle and ike lore...Interesting#i can also get into that if people want that again i am not sure who still cares abt ninas weird unfinished au style fanfic#ANYWAYS RM ISAAC MOISHA BROFLOVSKI MY BELOVED#jersey does eventually spill ike does wrangle it out of him its funny as fuck to me bc kyle was CAPPING SO HARD#that man was like idk what ur talking abt i hate that man!#jerseykyle is the ceo of lying like stan lied to stay Alive JERSEY LIES BECAUSE HE IS LITERALLY A BITCH ASS FOOL#WHO REFUSES TO ACCEPT THE DAMN CONSEQUENCES OF HIS OWN ACTIONS I HATE HIM SO MUCH#like ok to be fair they were fighting and jk did think ravenstan was dating call girl but SUPER BESTIE DO NAAAAUGHT#EVEN ACT LIKE U DONT WANNA VIOLENTLY FRENCH HIM#DONT TRY IT WITH ME BABY I LITERALLY WROTE U!#the drama of them being broken up and having to share kyles childhood bed and bedroom is sooo iconic to me#i know they were accidentally cuddling i just KNOW it#nasty cute disgusting boy angst jail for WIMPY SIMP BOYS#KISS ALREADY!!!!
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carcarrot · 4 months
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do i really want to make individual drinks again
#reaching back into the file cabinets of my mind to remember how i made certain drinks when i worked at the cafe#in preparation for the possibility of this new job#it would certainly mean far less goofing off time than i have at my current job. and i value my goofing off time dearly#but the people here are so fucking annoying lmao. i hate them soooo much#not that the people at this new job would be any better. we're still dealing with investment bankers#godddddd. what i really would want (which would be impossible)#would be to go back to working at the cafe but like. still have paid time off and insurance lmao#but the cafe was a small business and he was not offering paid time off and insurance. and the pay was way less#but i did get to play whatever music i wanted. unfortunately you cant live on that#like i can always say no to this new job if its offered to me. but is my goofing off time worth:#2 dollars less in pay and a half hour to an hour's more commute. well i dont know#a shorter commute would mean i could sleep more. and have more time at home .#i mean i probably don't Need all this goofing off time. but its nice#i dont knowwwwwww#like even though im a bit nervous abt doing it again i know that i would easily fall back into the routine of making drinks#which i was fairly good at. my one drawback is that i cant do latte art but i dont know that theyd really care here#and (because i found the menu of where id work) theres not a ton of drink options?? just the standard stuff#its being called a starbucks cafe but 1) its not managed by them and 2) it does not have their 5 billion drink options#so thats good. less to worry about#doesnt look like i even have to make anything foodwise which i had to at the cafe#here it looks like people can just buy a pastry and thats it#the hours are like. the same i work now. also good#sorry im like using this post to think through my thoughts.#uhhhh oh i looked up the manager who looks like a weenie so im not keen on the prospect of interviewing with him#but i probably would have thought that about my current manager if id seen a pic of him prior to interviewing. i guess???#and with these kind of catering units it seems you dont often deal directly with the manager that much anyway#i just gotta see if i get good vibes#rn i have unsure vibes. but i need a sign to see if this could be good for me#oh id also save money on transportation. and taxes! bc i wouldnt be working in ny anymore#lol oops tag limit. well i hope you enjoyed my job thoughts you probably didnt i know i didnt
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jaybirdscoffee · 4 months
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in my feelings about the state of florida
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devilsskettle · 5 months
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i feel like i’ve been WAITING for the other shoe to drop wrt people’s opinions about watcher for this very reason. not that i think the reaction is completely not understandable but the greater the parasocial relationship, the greater the fallout as soon as public opinion shifts. you don’t have a relationship with these people they’re just content creators, chill
#ready to see all the people coming out of the woodwork to say how they’ve never liked watcher/unsolved/etc#and act like it’s ‘cringe’ now that their fanbase feels ‘betrayed’#it’s great to have a fanbase but parasocial relationships will bite you in the ass every single time#it’s interesting too though because i’ve seen watcher have a LOT of support as they’ve tried to build something separate from buzzfeed#so this is the first time they’re getting real pushback about a decision they’ve made wrt shifting their platform/expanding their brand#so ig we’ll have to see how they react moving forward#but it’s soooo interesting to see how enthusiastically people dump on buzzfeed#AND how many people dump on youtube and how over the years so much of its functionality has been stripped away#how many ads you have to sit through. how much sponsored content there is now. etc#but when they try to do the same thing with youtube that they did with buzzfeed it’s like how dare you not lick their boots#because if you lick their boots and we lick their boots we can watch stuff for free#anyway.#even if you don’t any to say it’s a bad business decision. it’s not like there’s not precedent for it#1) the move away from buzzfeed was successful and 2) what about the dnd shows or whatever#don’t you guys watch those dnd shows that are ‘behind a paywall’#don’t you guys have netflix hulu disney hbo amazon etc ad nauseum that are actually owned by billion dollar corporations#don’t you guys get on your high horses about supporting independent artists all the time#it’s interesting that people will profess to be such big fans!!! and feel like they’re friends!!!!#but how dare they think their work might be worth paying for#idk. idk. it’s entitlement though#sorry for the rant i’m ALSO not trying to blindly defend a bunch of people i don’t know#but you guys are being soooo fucking annoying about it lol#anyway i’m still waiting to see what their response is going to be from here before jumping to conclusions#also to be fair i am biased to be lenient about decisions made by independent filmmakers vs big studios etc#like everybody freaking out about the ai art used in late night with the devil. who cares honestly#‘they should’ve paid a real artist!!’ idk maybe their budget didn’t cover that#i don’t want it to become the industry norm but at the end of the day i would rather see indie shit getting made then only seeing#the big studios (who don’t have equitable practices anyway!!) making shit#but that’s another conversation. just to be transparent about my viewpoint on this kind of thing#maybe controversial but also can’t we have nuance. for once.
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g0thsoojin · 2 months
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🦴
#im like very much having a crisis right now... i mean to most ppl it isnt that serious lmaoooo#but tbh i am a loser and tumblr is 80% of my life and most of my social life#all social interactions i get are on tumblr ._.#so i dont want to keep alienating myself on it because then im just ruining it for myself and removing the only place#and source of social interaction and attention :/#i personally can not for my life comprehend this because i really dont take other peoplës venting personally#but ever since i started using twitter and tumblr i have ruined so many connections .. by venting on my own account.....#and now.. when i lost and fucked it up with the love of my life... just bc i vented and he interpreted it from his pov..#and got hurt when i wrote things abt being lonely and unwanted WHILE talking to him everyday and having him call me beautiful and care abt m#... i understand why he got hurt and i understand his pov bc it looked like i pulled away and distanced myself and only complained and that#he didnt matter to me when in fact he was EVERYTHING to me and i lived off his attention#i hate that i ruined the best thing i could ever have just bc i have this pathological need to share my every thought#like shut the fuck up... i wish i wouldve shut the fuck up and instead gushed abt how much i liked him which was what i wanted to do#my avpd just made me feel stupid bc when i did he didnt interact with those posts and then i felt embarrassed#which like i know how fucking stupid avpd and bpd makes me and i hate it but i cant stop it#god i regret it so much like my dumb ass blog isnt worth losing him over... it just isnt#only an online connection.. makes it so hard to see bc he only saw my diary where i complain he didnt see everything else :(((#so he thought that he wasnt important to me and then slowly started to detach himself from me (understandably) god i wanna die#so yeah ive started to HATE my main account. bc it has ruined so much for me. plus lately ppl have started being mean#and i get it its the internet ppl suck but i AM so fkn sensitive. and i get sad and hurt really easily#and i feel anxious abt venting bc im scared of getting a mean ask after#like... i feel so fucking alone and idk what to do. all i want to do now is vent vent vent but ive started to feel like venting is bad#and harmful and only ruins my friendships and connections and makes ppl be mean to me#i honestly wish i wouldve stopped venting every thought looooong ago#and that i had a more normal blog and had a secret vent blog and that he didnt read all my miserable posts#bc then maybe.... he wouldve actually understood how much i fkn love him and hadnt looked in other places and now i lost him#bc i really dont blame him bc i know what he is struggling with and seeing me who he cares for so much say those things...#i get it 100% and thats why im so pissed with myself for just not stopping!!!! why cant i stop????? whats wrong with me#i just feel so lonely and like no ones listening but he was listening to me i just had to be brave and go to him#plus all my venting made him think that im like in severe emotional distress every second and that i was too fragile to talk to
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kit-katsuki · 1 month
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ohhhb venting...
#its getting bad again!#and i don't know how to talk about any of it#my brains main thoughts throughout the day are 'im going to fucking throw up' and 'i should kill myself'#the anxiety has been giving me legitimate chest pains lately (i think its the anxiety)#and i cant lie down to sleep without my brain going all ballistic and self deprecating#i relapsed sh again and i fucking hate it because i was almost a year clean#it got so bad my brother dmed me asking if im okay#i have to be positiveee this is a manic depressive episodeee i wont do anything permanent#i feel like im gonna throw up. and kill myself. i wont. but oh my fucking god i thought i was over this#i dont know what to tell my brother like do i admit im fucking losing my mind or do i try and keep it palatable.#like 'yeah ive been uhh convincing myself not to walk into the street on the way home wbu'#what even is there to say#i feel like im too much for what im worth#people care about me and it only makes their lives harder#people have problems and theyre all my fault#i wish i could just not exist. even if for a short period pf time#i feel like im bringing more stress and anger into this world than the good things that come of me#i feel like everyone that gives me a chance is going to end up hating me#i feel like everyone that loves me will only see who i really am and end up resenting me#i feel like i cant breathe without ruining something good for someone#im sorry#i dont think ill ever feel like im truly doing okay
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thriftdyke · 10 months
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#the sun went down at 4 pm and I am once again having an existential crisis#I went to a bookstore and saw stupid romance book covers and started thinking about how I’m probably gonna ‘die alone’#whatever the fuck that means#I don’t KNOW okay I don’t know if I’m aromantic or just too traumatized and avoidant to be capable of intimacy. but I have no friends and#I’m lonely as fuck#and I don’t want to date but I want someone to be committed to me and I want someone to fuck but I don’t trust people and I#am pretty sure if I fucked someone I would burst into tears bc of how long its been since I’ve been touched#I want a family. like that is one thing I know for sure I don’t know exactly what that even means or looks like#but I want a FAMILY. and not the one I was born with#I don’t mean kids I mwan commitment and fucking. People#and the universe is not on my fucking side girl. she’s not I don’t care what you say#I thought I had a found family in college and look where that is now. dust#and I’m 25 years old#and I’m missing so many milestones#and maybe it doesn’t matter maybe dating and fucking do not give you worth yeah yeah okay#but this is not the life I thought I would have at this age. and I feel like I should be entitled to grieve that#not like I want to. I want to be normal and I want to be over it.#to be perfectly fucking honest. I wish I could wake up tomorrow#and fall in love with someone and have a boring normal happily ever after.#I wish I could be the person who’s capable of that and I know that’s a naive and childish and unwoke desire to have#but I’m just being so real with you chief. I do not know how to live in this world being who I am.#and I don’t want to fucking be alone.#not because it makes me less worthy but because I’m just fucking sick of being lonely. okay.#anyway. I’m probably deleting this#p
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