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#its just. its insulting i guess is what im saying
oflgtfol · 2 years
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its such a shame because i actually genuinely enjoy my job at michaels so long as im not main cashier like i genuinely enjoy being out on the floor and packing out truck or doing inventory or sales signs or price changes etc and even when customers ask me questions, i dont even mind then, and i actually enjoy helping customers out with different projects they work on. if i could make a living by working at michaels i think i’d even maybe just do that. but well i cant do that so whatever
but even as just a part time thing right now its driving me insane that im only working 10 hours a week. like its beyond frustrating in words i cant describe. its so insulting to be one of the longest working employees at this location, to be one of the few people who even enjoy working here, and then get fucking pocket change in exchange for all that
like i enjoy the work but i hate rhe company yknow. its driving me up a wall how extreme the hour cuts are this year compared to last year, the credit card and the rewards drive me up a wall, the stupid extend warranty thing that they rolled out with no warning that we had no formal training on and interrupts the flow of the register because it asks if you want a warranty on thee stupidest things, the lack of ability to get raises, the callous price increases, etc its just an endless list. the company as a whole is fucked and i hate it
but in terms of my individual store, and the “dirty work” of being a floor employee, i genuinely enjoy it and it sucks so fucking much to be pushed out of my job because of the shit pay and the shit hours. i know the philisophy of working minimum wage is that the company doesnt deserve for you to push yourself hard for minimum wage but like — i enjoy the work, i like being able to do these things, its actually fun for me to do these things, it takes my enjoyment out to half ass it. im not doing it for the company im doing it because for whatever reason, i actually have fun doing it. but yes it is driving me up a fucking wall that i get rewarded for that with these shit fucking hours. in fact it makes it harder for me to do my job when i actually do get hours - if im not in the store for a whole week then i miss a whole week of things being moved around the store as seasonal is shuffled, how the fuck am i supposed to accurately help customers locate things if i have such long gaps between shifts that my own knowledge becomes outdated? and when i cant accurately do my job then i dont have fun doing it - because then i feel like an idiot for being wrong or being uncertain, at best, or i feel like shit because then the customer is rude af when they find it instead and then single you out for not knowing
sorry i dont know what my point is here i just checked my schedule for tr next few weeks and im seriously at 10 hours a week and i have never had hours this short before im just so fucking mad about it. i am seriously bringing home larger paychecks from my damn food pantry job thats hard limited at 8 hours a week because that income is at least nontaxable
#brot posts#its just. its insulting i guess is what im saying#i know nobody else enjoys the job as much as i do#i always volunteer to stay late to get my work done if i didnt get to finish during my scheduled shift#i try to cover other shifts as much as i can#and granted those 2 are mostly bc im so eager for more hours that i’ll take hours where i can#but i also like staying late bc i like being able to finish the work i started !!#i like doing a good job lol!!!!!#thats part of my own personal ethos and satisfaction rather than any loyalty to the company#i just. i dont want to quit bc i love my coworkers i love this environment#and i dont want to quit and go elsewhere and then find myself in a worse environment. yknow?#what if my coworkers suck what if management sucks#and in terms of the actual store environment i think its entirely bc its a craft store#i dont think i’d enjoy the work itself as much if it was some other type of retail#like its specifically bc i enjoy art even if i dont do much of it myself compared to actual professionals#i like giving advice to people who come in with grand project ideas#i like seeing people who actualy come in with their projects and show it off#i like being able to occasionally do art On the clock!!#its fun! its so fun and i dont think any other type of min wage job has this#so i dont WANT to leave !! not until im ready to move onto another job thats more along the actusl career i want#but holy fuck THE HOURS !! ARE SO BAD !!!!#i cant help but feel so insulted like is the store manager punishing me specificslly for some reason!!#but no its just the company . literally everyone has been cut down to about 10 hours#it sucks so fucking bad and im so sick of it#im begging my managers for hours and thry just literally cannot give me any#i offer to stay late bc i didnt get to finish the work i was assigned and they have to tell me no leave and clock out you cannot stay#late because we do not have the hours
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natjennie · 10 months
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really pissed off at my sister for what I think are valid reasons that no one wants to address but me. and then I always become the asshole. what else is new.
#she literally always guilt trips me about being the only source of her happiness#and like manipulates me into entertaining her because she claims I'm her only friend#and then when i try to calmly explain that it's not fair of her to do that#and point out. accurately.#that she will always ask me to do things and when i begrudgingly say yes she's like 'ugh no fine you don't want do just say that'#but if i say 'honestly no i dont want to'#she sighs and whines and mopes and is like 'im so bored no one ever wants to do anythign with me i guess i'll just go to bed and die'#so when i explain all of this and say 'i honestly dont know what you want from me'#'should i pretend to want to do something and be miserable or should i just say no bc its gonna make you want to kys either way'#she gets pissy and angry and is like whatever just leave!#and then i was like 'have you tried talking to your therapist about your inappropriate reactions to people trying to help you'#and she fucking screamed at me like 'have you tried getting a job or going to school!' like.#honey you're proving my point you know that right..#she's allowed to have full blown fits and tantrums and scream at me and insult me#but when im like 'this isnt fair or healthy and its not okay'#for some reason her and my mom and my dad turn on me.#it's not fair that i am the sole straw that keeps her from being suicidal every day/#it's not fair to put that on one person it's just not.#and i never have any time or money or resources to get me help because it's all about her#and i know that she's more of a priority she has more pressing diagnoses more deserving of help#but im NEVER allowed to have a bad day. never. im not allowed to want to be by myself or lash out even once#whatever im just so tired of this#i just like to sit in my room and watch my shows and be by myself and even that pisses everyone off i guess#and like not to mention that she was complaining that i always talk about my interests and she never gets to#so i actively made an effort to stop making references and not talk about my fixations as much#and that just pisses her off more#like what do you want!!!!!!!#i've been making myself smaller and subservient to you my whole fucking life and it's not enough!!!!!!!#i cant do anything fucking right!!!!!!!!#what do you want from me!!!!!!!!!!!
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sirenofthegreenbanks · 11 months
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developing the biggest soft spot for wkx from the novel as i slowly unravel his show equivalent
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I think the strongest direct Ryuji parallel is just that RGGJo is also a There Can Only Be One Dragon-type bitch. But I honestly don't think it chafes him for the same reasons as Ryuji lol, because there's also the element of Ichi "copying" his design and "doing it better" (in a meta sense, on account of Horitomo handling his tattoo but not RGGJo's.) It's a fun callback and good set-dressing for what amounts to two sons squabbling for their dad's approval.
It's kind of fun to think about for real though, because in Ryuji's RGGO story, the Arakawa Family are tasked with assassinating Ryuji. And Jo's all ready to go but Arakawa makes the crucial decision to assign Ichi to the job instead. While Ichi does Empty An Entire Clip into Ryuji and it's badass as hell, he's also nice enough to get him immediate medical attention, which Jo wouldn't have been. Wild that Ryuji would be dead long before K2 if Jo and Ryuji really had met at that time.
Outside of that... perhaps a hot take... but I think Ryuji would be RGGJo's "type." Because the instant he meets Kagami (Tendo's counterpart, whom I personally prefer to Tendo himself lol) they hit it off. By which I mean RGGJo was blatantly flirting with him and batting his eyelashes going "Oh, you wouldn't want to fight little old me, I'm delicate." And, you know, Kagami's supposed to be The Ryujicore Guy, sort of in the vein of Watase in Y5 but even more so.
And I think the reason they get along so well--they, as "old-fashioned" yakuza, value strength above all else within other yakuza--is also something that transferred to Y7Jo, if his monologue in The Eye Scene is anything to go by. So that's perhaps another parallel with Ryuji that originated with RGGO, although Majima and some others are the same way, so perhaps not.
That's definitely the strongest connection between RGGJo and Ryuji, it's an aspect I was immediately able to pick up on when I was first reading through RGGO (and again, it is really funny from the lens of Ichi and Jo being bickering brothers just pointing at each other and going 'I did it first, you copied me!' and whining to dad about it lmao)
Ryuji's penchant for escaping death's pretty funny (if we want to count him surviving in Dead Souls as canonical, this is twice now): bless Ichiban for reserving his right to kill so we could at least meet Ryuji first (though now I can't help but to imagine Ryuji as some heinous beast they've been tasked to hunt down. I guess Ryuji being so large and having a fur coat doesn't help get rid of that imagination: Arakawa Family hunting trip anyone?).
SPEAKING of unmissable Ryuji traits in RGGO, Kagami was ESPECIALLY an absolute slap in the face for RGG to be like 'hey you guys remember Ryuji'. I almost laughed seeing him, but I didn't hate him of course, I was just surprised they really introduced a character so objectively inspired by Ryuji. I think you're onto something though: they could definitely click if given the chance (and now I do wonder what would have happened if RGGJo was sent to kill Ryuji instead…).
#long post#holder until i think of a tag for these asks#snap chats#i was going to include this in the main body but i thought i might have started to veer off Elsewhere#but in regards to the respect to strength and hierarchy while its true many characters possess that adherence to it#it feels as though ryuji's is the most prominent- at least in the strength aspect. esp with how physically large he is#like mine and nishiki react with violence because of personal reasons (yumi's sister being killed/daigo being insulted)#meanwhile ryuji acts with violence mostly because he sees someone as an inconvenience#tho with sengoku i suppose it was personal.. and to his credit daigo was the one swinging fists first for him to respond#i guess ryuji just has more opportunities to react with violence lmao#all in all i guess it's not strictly a parallel to ryuji- the most i can say is that jo is similarly shown to be more outwardly violent#on that note. completely jumping to a different paragraph in this ask.#all i could be reminded with the kagami paragraph was that 'i'm just a little birthday boy' post ☠️☠️#same energy..#but man what IF RGGJo and ryuji got to meet. definitely a fun What If to think about#in any case ive also got myself laughing at the idea of a hunting trip with ichi and jo now#if ichi cant bring himself to kill nancy after getting attached to her i just wanna know how he'd do with like. rabbits.#not saying im any better no i could never but i'd still want to see it LMAO
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marsbotz · 25 days
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rewatching nature i dont want to make one billion posts abt it so heres alllllll my nature thoughts as we go lets go wheeeeeee
#orels 'thats it?' like hes realising there WAS no real point to this other than pure punishment. like he didnt even really learn anything#i realised this earlier but i love all the stuffed animals in clays study. making up for that missed hunting trip i see#the bit of clay going to hand the gun to orel and then pulling away again to gesture some more is really funny#oh my godddddd theres so much more even bewtween grounded and this. I NEED TO WATCH THR CHRONOLOGICAL CUTTTTTT#the number of times clay references either being a MAN or calls orel a girl in this. i seeeeee#IDK WHAT THE BIRD IS i know the bird is Something. it was in another ep but i forget which#i think it was the prequel ep. maybe. sorry man im not smart enough to figure that out#ok theh cup holder on the rifle is crazy funny#eating the dog is crazyyyy i feel like it cld have gotten the point across w eating the deer butttt#idk i guess it crosses that line to make clay seem even more repulsive here. so it works#but also insane seeing the fucking. DOG in the bg of the argument etc#WHY IS HE EATING THE PAWWWWW LMAOOOO. the worst part ever#eurrghhh the way clay antagonises orel over the food. dud u do not have tp one up ur child. seriously#OOUUUAHHHHHH the way orels glare breaks when clay insults him.... blarrrghhhh#stealing this from a comment but how clay says 'look on the blight side' and 'my life is sunny and blight'#cus like technically he HAS a 'good' life. married w kids and a good job. but he cant get any joy out of it and refuses to see the positive#u know. even if he doesnt love bloberta if he tried they cld still get along. and he has a reallyyy sweet kid who adored him#he cld have used his position to make a positive impact#but he doesnt. he runs and he hides and he pushes everyone away#orel tearing up at hearing clay say he hates himself is sooooooo fucking real man. it hurts#been there one billion million times. so painful#interesting how clay extends his hatred for bloberta to Every Woman Ever.#wonder if he had any relationships before her and how they turned out. badly id imagine#he says that marriage isnt for him but its kinda unclear if thats bc hes had a terrible history w love or hes just not interested#not sure if u cld say it extends to his own mother or not.#i guess u cld say that over the yrs his guilt twisted into hating her in some way. maybe for spoiling him so much#like in relation to his comments abt like. making him feel better and then choking him. and weights around his neck#the first is obvs abt the alcohol and the second bloberta#and also vice versa it kinda goes both ways#but i do wonder if he does still feel guilt abt what happened. hes sshown to be deeply affected by his fathers abuse still so hmmm
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radiotorn · 4 months
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having to restrain from saying anything when my dad dares to say that men get paid LESS than women. in what world. are you out of your fucking mind old man.
#ow.err#IN WHAT WORLD ARE MEN PAID LESS THAN WOMEN.#like. i shouldnt be surprised he said that bc he watched and/rew t/ate and jo/e rog/an so like. of fucking course he'd think that.#but like dude. you have no idea what youre talking about.#and there is NO WAY im gonna even try to tell him otherwise bc he is. loud. yk.#im just gonna. leave that there. bc its not my responsibility to 'fix' my parents as much as id love to try.#its just not my responsibility. and itll prob just end in me getting screamed at anyways since they wont listen to me or anything i say#cuz im still a kid in their eyes ! ! ! !!!! ! ! so cool ! ! ! ! ! !#almost 20. father doesnt think i know how to wake myself up w/o being woken up by someone else.#SO INSULTING BTW. i always get up on time. no matter what. nearly 20 and he thinks im a fking child still#both my mom and dad do but my dad does it in an 'underestimating' me way and my mom does it in a 'tries to overly coddle me' way#you know? i dunno. i dunno. i wanna move out but money is so fked rn. and idk how to do like. anything. so im just...#gonna do my classes and try to get a nice job and save up for awhile before i actually move out to my own place#im also kind of scared bc idk if ill have the. will to care for myself once i move out. like im worried ill just let myself die#sso. things to. work on before i get out of here i guess. but the thing is this environment will not let me heal. ahhh !!!!!!!!!#the only way out is through!!! through and scared!!!!!!!!!!!! tmrw marks the start of my life potentially starting to change. for the bette#but still changing. and oh man. im very nervous. its scary#cuz like. i didnt think id live past like 12 ??? so to be almost 20 and very behind on 'adult things' is. scary?daunting?#it all almost feels unreal. like im reaching a part of my life i never thought id actually reach. it feels like ive been living on#borrowed time since 12 so now im like. damn i have to live dont i. i have to actively make this life worth living now#some days i still worry itll be my last but ... im just gonna try to take it one step at a time. its all i can do.#be as prepared as i can. and take it one step at a time. i clutch onto the hope that my life will get better#and i clutch onto it with an iron grip. because damn it. it has to get better than this. it has to.#wow this got derailed. oh well my poast my rules.
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piano-sideblog · 6 months
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I really want people to stop discouraging writers or artists in general. First, you don't start drawing perfectly on your first, second or even 500000 try. It takes practice to get better. Second, I don't even care if it doesn't get better. You're just shutting someone down for no reason. It genuinely makes me mad that you'd just grab something someone made with passion and straight up mock it. It's cruel, no matter how well that person can take it
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i-cant-sing · 6 months
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TIME TRAVELER AU PT 2
Original post/idea here. Part 1 is here. Part 3 is here.
Check out my MASTERLIST for more!
I fucked up.
You thought as you sat on the bed, holding your head in your hands.
I fucked up so baaaaaad.
Not only have you healed Baldwin of his leprosy, forever changing history of the LEPER KING, but also managed to somehow be his bride. To make matters EVEN worse, you cant just up and leave right now because you dont know the disastrous effects it'll have on the future now that Baldwin wont die of leprosy, which means that the kingdom of Jerusalem wont fall to Salauddin and his muslim army and after that its just a domino effect.
You tried to view your options here.
I stay here, marry Baldwin and fuck up the fabric of time and space because how can someone from the future marry someone from the past? Wouldnt I cease to exist?
I leave, return to my time where authorities arrest me for fucking around with time- that is, if I even exist in the future now that I've altered history. Who knows if my ancestors survived/were born after this?
No. Neither option is good. I need to stay here and fix this. But in a way that i dont draw too much attention to myself so that im so insignificant that nobody remembers, let alone writes about me in the history books.
You were drawn out of your thoughts with someone knocking on your door. "Come in." You said, straightening yourself.
A couple of servants walked in, all women. "Princess Y/n." They all courtesied. "We've been sent here by his majesty to prepare you for dinner with him."
Princess? Ah yes. Only a couple of hours ago, Baldwin had proposed to you, I guess the concept of asking wasnt a thing here as he just slipped on the big beautiful ring on your finger.
You narrowed your eyes at them. "First of all, Im not a princess. You will address me as Y/n only. And secondly, Im not going to join him for dinner, so there's no need to prepare me" The maids all shared a look of confusion before the head servant spoke.
"But we cant address you as anything else until you wed the king, after which you will be our queen, princess."
"Didnt I just tell you not to call me princess? Just call me Y/n!" The head maid shook her head. "Princess, we can not do that. If we do, then we would be punished. And we must prepare you for dinner with his majesty!" The maids moved ahead to start helping you but you raised a hand, halting them.
"I said, no." You said sternly.
"What... what will we tell the king, princess? He's expecting you-"
"Tell him i cant come because Im sic- no, Im not feeling well and Id like to be alone." You cant say "sick" in this era, because that means "death sentence" here and you dont want to be fretted over and bring attention to yourself as "the king's fiancee got SICK!". Besides, you do need to be away from Baldwin as much as possible and have some time to plot your moves.
-
You had pulled out your notebook and began writing out dates and historic events of this era to plan your escape. You're trying to find some sort of shortcut where Baldwin gets sick again and dies, leaving his kingdom in the hands of his sister and brother in law, who will bring its downfall-
Someone knocked on your door gently. "Princess?" You quickly hid your notebook. "Come in."
Baldwin walked inside and towards you, eyes worried as they scanned you up and down.
"I heard you're not feeling well?" He asked and before you had a chance to back away, he had cupped your cheeks in his hands tenderly. "What's wrong? Shall I fetch the royal physician?"
"No." You replied with your face smushed in his hands. "I'm fine." You pulled your face away his large hands.
Confusion spread through his blue orbs. "Then why did you not join me for dinner?" He asked, using a hand to push your hair over your ear, not taking the hint that you didn't want him touching you.
"I just-" what possible excuse could you come up with that would be both effective and not insulting enough to have your head chopped off. "you- you dont care about me."
Baldwin looked at you in bewilderment. "I dont... care about you? Princess, how can you say that?" He tried to cup your cheek again but you backed away before he could, putting on a face of hurt.
"How can I not? You dont care about what I want, or even ask me what I need?" You feingned pain in your voice, turning away from him for dramatic effect.
He grabbed your shoulders and turned you towards him, his pupils grew wide as if trying to search for what it is that you need. "My love, what do you want? Just say the word, and I'll give it to you."
You looked down, again for the theatrics, and Baldwin lifted your chin. "Go on."
"You never- never asked me to marry you."
"Huh? But I did today-"
"No, you stated it- demanded I marry you." You furrowed your brows and looked down again.
Baldwin smiled. Of course, how could he have not asked you? You were a girl after all, you want to be courted the traditional way. Its not your fault that you dont know that kings do not ask permission for things. They just get it, because who would refuse to marry a king?
He kissed your forehead, lifting your chin again to meet his eyes. "Im sorry, princess. I shouldve asked." He took your hands in his and had that charming smile again. "Will you marry me, Y/n?"
"No." You shook your head. "I... I cant marry you, your majesty." You said, adding tears into your eyes. His brows furrowed in concern.
"What? Why?" You tried pulling your hands away but he didnt let go, tightening his grip ever so slightly.
"I-" well, you could say that youre not catholic and the church would never let you two get married, but you also dont wanna be tortured for being a "heretic". Maybe religious differences could be the last plan. Taking your silence as hesitance, Baldwin spoke. "I can offer you everything and more. Jerusalem would be yours. What is it that I lack that anyone else could offer?"
"I am not a good match for you!" Ah yes, lets do the typical "its not you, its me." You bit your lip as you yanked your hands out of his and walked towards the window, your back to him (theatrics). "You and I are not equals- no we are nowhere close! Youre a king, your father was a king, your family is royalty. I come from nothing, as did my ancestors. There will never be stability in our marriage when we come from such different backgrounds!" You never thought that you would be putting yourself down and call yourself "inferior" to break up with a man.
Silence hung in the air, as you held your breath.
"Youre right." You heard him say behind you. "We are not equals, we never will be." For some reason, instead of being relieved, a chill ran down your spine. Baldwin wrapped his arms around you, resting his head on your shoulder. "I may be a king, but youre far superior to me. You're an angel, sent to me by God, and you saved me. I wouldnt be king anymore if you werent here, princess."
Warmth spread from your cheeks to the tip of your ears, both due to the close proximity and his words. Sensing your bashfulness, he chuckled, kissing your cheek as he turned you around to face him. You could hear your own heart beat at how close he was.
Baldwin tilted his head, half lidded eyes staring at you. "Youre everything and more that I could ask for, princess. Never put yourself down and compare yourself to me, hm?" He said, giving your arms a gentle squeeze before moving away, but not detaching himself completely as he took ahold of your hand and looked back at you.
"Now that this is settled, let us go eat. I've had the servants prepare a feast for us and then we can discuss wedding arrangements-" shit shit shit shit shit fuck it!
"I'm not catholic!" Baldwin halted at that. You've already said it, might as well dig yourself a deeper hole. You let the tears form in your eyes. "Im... Muslim. I didnt tell you because I didnt want you to think I was working for Salauddin and spying on you for him, you know I wasnt! I really did only want to know about you. Please believe me, I wasnt-"
"I believe you."
What? Just like that.
"You- you believe me?" You breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you. Once again, Im sorry i didnt tell you I was a Muslim, but dont worry, I'll pack my things and leave tonight-"
"Why? We still have to get married."
You blinked slowly. "But... Im Muslim?"
Baldwin shrugged. "So? It doesnt change anything."
You looked at him in bafflement. "It does! It changes everything! We cant get married! Im a Muslim! The church wont allow interfaith marriages, and I dont intend on converting to catholicism either if thats what youre suggesting!"
"I am not suggesting that. You can be a muslim if you want to, but we're still getting married." Baldwin stated matter of factly.
"The church wont allow it-"
"The church will do as I say. I am the head of the church. Besides-" He smiled.
"I dont remember angels having to prove themselves to be a catholic. You saved my life, you cured my incurable disease. As far as the church is concerned, youre a miracle sent to me by God. Youre the Chosen One!"
Is he... is he hearing himself? Can you try to convince him?
"But... but Jerusalem deserves a Catholic Queen-" you tried weakly, but he cupped your cheek and smiled gently at you.
"I am Jerusalem, Y/n. And I deserve you." Was all he said before pecking your forehead.
He tugged you along with him. "Now, we have to eat."
You dont want to eat. You want to stay behind and think of another strategy because clearly you cant talk yourself out of this wedding.
"I'm- I'm not hungry." You said, making him frown.
"How is that possible? You havent had anything since morning. I dont want you getting sick before the wedding." Baldwin continued to pull you along.
Does he not listen?
"I dont want to eat- I- dont feel like it." You said a bit harshly this time, hoping he'd take the hint.
And he did, finally stopping. He sighed and let go of your hand. "Okay. I suppose if you really dont want to, we can skip dinner tonight." Fucking finally. "Its just... I seem to have developed a habit of enjoying meals with you. And now that my leprosy is cured and I have no more diet restrictions, I just- I had the kitchen prepare some of my favourite dishes that I was able to enjoy before my disease disabled me."
You stared at him. Is he- is he trying to guilt trip you? Baldwin once told you that due to leprosy he had ulcers in his mouth, and he couldnt eat different types of food, and was only able to have bland, soft goo.
You looked away from his big sad eyes. He's not getting to you. You need to go back to your room, make yourself scarce, be far away from him as often as possible.
"You can still go and eat dinner alone."
With one hand, he cupped your cheek. "Princess, you know I cant eat until you eat too. But its okay, if you dont want to eat, then I wont too. I guess I'll just have the servants finish the chicken roast and oh-! They even made strawberry cream cake for dessert. But- maybe another day."
You looked into his eyes, those blue orbs that were filled with sadness, resembling a kid who was just told "no candy!"
Sighing, you held his hand. "Maybe I can have a few bites."
His face lit up. Ah, he knew you'd come around. "Lets go!"
-
The next day, youre helped by the maids to get ready for the day. Apparently, Sibylla wanted to meet you and discuss some things, and you suspect she wants to talk about the wedding preprations.
The maids had prepared your bath and were very insistent on washing you themselves but you made them all leave the bath chambers. Finally, they compromised when you told them that they could dress you up if they wait outside.
Setting your old clothes on the bed, you entered the bathroom and settled into the warm water. The essential oils and flower petals soothed your mind and body, and you finally had some desperately needed silence to hear your own thoughts.
Last night at dinner, Baldwin was very- well, "happy" would be an understatement to how he felt near you. And all those forehead kisses and skin contact doesnt go unnoticed by you either. You suppose that since he had leprosy, he never really had or was allowed to touch anyone else. But now that hes cured, all thanks to your dumb ass, he craves the physical intimacy.
You closed your eyes as you sank deeper into the warm water. Gosh, did I really have to give him the water? Had I not done that, he would still be ridden with lepro-
Your eyes snapped open. Thats it. You just have to make sure he never drank your water in the first place! Yes! You can go back in time and sure, its always dangerous to go back in the same time period more than once, but you really dont have any other option now, do you?
After half an hour, you finally exited the bathroom and the maids practically ushered you to sit in the chair as they finally, FINALLY got to dress up the future queen of Jerusalem and after a whole hour, they're finally done. And... well you look good. Your hair has been done nicely, and a delicate golden headpiece, almost like a elegant hair band sits on top of your head. They added some color to your cheeks and lips with crushed berries. As for your clothes, they dressed you in a dark blue tunic with loose, flowing sleeves. The tunic itself was made of silk, probably brought in from the Byzantine empire and was only available to the upperclass of this time.
"I am not wearing those!" You said when they opened the jewellery boxes. There were diamonds and other precious stones adorning the earrings and necklaces.
"But princess, you must wear these. It is royal protocol for the king's bride to be, and the future queen to wear the royal jewels." The head maid said. She doesnt know that you dont plan on sticking around and if you leave wearing these jewels, who knows what havoc would that cause?
"No. I dont want to wear them."
The maids shared a look of concern. "What?" You asked them.
"Its just... his majesty picked these out for you himself. He would be mad at us if you were not wearing these." One of the younger servants spoke as she fumbled with her fingers. Through the mirror, you looked at everyone's worried expression. You doubt that someone as calm and collected as Baldwin would lose his marbles over his fiancee not wearing jewellery.
"I dont think the king would be mad at you if I dont wear some jewellery. He isnt one to get angry that easily, you know?" You said chuckling, but it died when you saw them share the same concerned looks again. This time, you turned away from the mirror to look at them directly. "What? Go on, no secrets."
Another maid mustered up the courage to mumble. "Well- it's just- the king- I mean- his majesty is calm but um-" she paused to look at the other maids for help but they all avoided eye contact. "Out with it." You said a bit sternly.
"His majesty... gets... emotional- yes, emotional! When it comes to matters concerning you."
"Emotional? What do you mean? Speak clearly, no word will get out of this room, I promise." You spoke all while glaring at the other maids to make them silently comply to not tattle on their friend.
The maid bit her lip. "His majesty... gets mad when he thinks that you're not being treated well." You gave her a look to continue. "A few weeks back, while you were strolling out in the garden, his majesty reprimanded some of his knights for not escorting you. He asked them why they weren't guarding you?"
A few weeks back? It may have made some sense for Baldwin to be protective of his bride to be, but you two weren't engaged until yesterday. And before that, his relationship with you was barely platonic, more like a king-servant thing.
"Tell her about the kitchen incident too." Another maid whispered.
"What kitchen incident?"
"Um, 2 months ago, when the kitchen had prepared a feast for his majesty, he almost fired the entire kitchen staff for serving olives with the entree." You gave them a quizzical look. "Well, his majesty had told them that you can't eat olives and had told them not to include it in the palace's food. But it was a feast to celebrate his victory and the staff thought it'd be best to add olives because the king likes them."
Your eyes widened at that. He almost fired the kitchen staff because you said you can't eat olives? I mean, it's not like you're deathly allergic, you just didn't like how tart they were and when Baldwin saw you picking them out on your plate, all you could manage to blurt out was that you can't eat them. Perhaps, he thought you had diet restrictions like him.
You huffed. That still didnt warrant such a reaction from him. "That isn't nice. Don't worry, I'll talk to him."
The maid looked at you in horror. "No! I mean, his majesty would not like that we- um..." she tried to come up with appropriate words that wouldn't be insulting. Her scrunched up face as she thought hard made you giggle.
"Fine, fine. I won't say anything to him. You have my word." You said, smiling at them assuringly.
The head maid then held out the pearl necklace to you. You sighed and nodded, and they all cheered as they started picking out the jewels for you.
Its okay. You told yourself. I can always drop them somewhere before time travelling.
-
As soon as you were dressed, one of Sibylla's lady-in-waiting came to fetch you. She hurried you, saying something along the lines of "you must see princess Sibylla right away!" And you couldn't stop her from pulling you along, so time travelling will have to wait.
"Princess Sibylla needs to see you right away, princess!" The maid said as she pulled you towards a room. Knocking on it, the door swung open and you were met with the sight of different gowns hanging on dummies with maids tending to them, and right in the center of the room was Sibylla, practically jumping on her heels.
"Y/n!" She yelled out as she ran towards you and engulfed you in a hug before her lady in waiting, the same one standing beside you, cleared her throat. It caught Sibylla's attention who gasped softly before backing away and immeadiately giving you a courtesy. "I mean, princess Y/n." You gave a nasty look to the lady in waiting before shaking your head at an embarrassed Sibylla. "You don't need to courtesy to me, princess Sibylla."
She immeadiately beamed. "Of course I do! You're not going to be just my sister in law, you're also going to be Queen of Jerusalem! Of course i bow to you."
Me, a queen? Yeah, we'll see about that.
"Still, I consider us friends before anything else." You offerer her a small smile. "You called for me?"
"Oh? Oh, yes!" She immeadiately grabbed your hand and pulled you further into the room. "I didn't know what colours and material you preferred, so I ordered them to bring everything with the best seamstresses in kingdom!" She pointed at the seamstresses, who bowed to you.
"But... I don't need clothes. I already have a wardrobe." Your statement made Sibylla laugh as did a few of her hand maidens.
"Ahh, you're so naive!" Sibylla giggled. "That wardrobe doesn't exist anymore. You're a princess, soon to be queen, you need a royal wardrobe!" She said as she dragged her hand over one of the gowns, feeling the material. "And! You still have to select your bridal gown!"
For the next 3 hours, Sibylla had the maids show you different gowns and materials, even helping by giving her input as to what would suit you.
"I still like my old clothes, they're quite comfortable." You sighed. Designing your new wardrobe was not something that needed your urgent attention at the moment. You need to return to your room and get the time machine from your old dress and leave this era.
Sibylla nods. "I understand what you're going through. I still remember how they burned away my entire wardrobe when I married Guy. But I suppose its poetic in a way. Since you're starting a new life, so why not start one by getting new clothes!"
Wait.
"They burnt all your old clothes?" Sibylla nods. "Mmhmm! In a way, you're burning away your past! And starting a new-" You didn't stick around as you immeadiately rushed out of the room and made your way towards your own.
You can't- your old clothes has your time machine. If they burn it, you can't ever leave!
You burst into your room, looking at the empty spot on your bed where you'd left your clothes before going in the bath.
"No." The maids, they must've put it in your closet. You searched it, searched your entire room but to no avail.
A maid walked into your room, watching you tear apart the bedroom. "P-princess? May I help-"
"Where are my clothes?!" You walked upto her, the poor maid's fright apparently on her face. "WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES!?"
"They- they're burning it-"
"WHERE?!"
"The gardens!"
You ran out of your room, and made your way towards the royal gardens as fast as you could, but with how huge this palace was, getting there took a while. Not to mention when you did get to the gardens, you didn't spot anyone there, but you did notice the smell of something burning, which lead you to the back of the gardens, that was away from everyone's sight.
There you found them, two maids burning your clothes in a small bonfire.
"PUT IT OUT!" You yelled as you rushed towards them, startling them.
"Princess-" they began bowing.
"Didn't you hear me? PUT THE FIRE OUT!" They scrambled about trying to find some water, but of course, they didn't have it.
"I'll get it from the fountain!" The two maids ran to get a bucket of water for you, but it would be too late by the time they came. So when you spotted your old dress burning, you pulled it out with bare hands, not caring about burning yourself.
The dress was mostly burnt to ashes, while only few bits remained that were still on fire. You managed to wrangle out your time machine out of it, the small metal box that was burning hot and left marks on your skin as you tried to hold it.
But even from here, you could see the damage was done. The area that displayed the year had now completely melted off, as did some of the buttons.
No. No. No. No. No. NO!
You couldn't help but cry as reality began to set in. You're stuck here.... you're stuck here forever.
Heart wrenching sobs wracked your body as you tried to hold the hot metal machine in your hands, your skin burning as you tried. Even when the servants came and poured the water on the fire, you still kept on crying, clutching your machine to your chest, partly to conceal it, partly from helplessness.
The maids looked at each in worry as they tried to console you, tried to pacify you, lest you had them executed. But it didn't matter, you were inconsolable. While one of the maids sat by your side, trying to soothe you, the other one ran in to get help.
Moments later, when you were able to hide the machine in your clothes again, someone came up and touched your shoulder from behind.
"Y/n?" You looked up through your tears. It was Baldwin. For some reason, seeing him only made you cry harder as you finally realised that you were stuck here with him. That you fucked up permanently.
"Oh princess. What's wrong? Don't cry- shhh, I'm here." He pulled your body towards him, letting you sob into his chest heartbreakingly. Exhaustion, frustration and shock must have overtook your body, as you fainted in his arms.
"Princess? Y/n?" He tried waking you up before collecting you in his arms and rushing back into the castle.
-
Hours later, you woke up to find yourself back in your room, lying in your bed. Your eyes looked down at your hands which were now wrapped in bandages. They only served as a reminder of what youd lost- your time machine.
Tears welled up in your eyes again. Am I- am I really stuck here? You sniffled.
A hand came up to caress your cheek, startling you.
It was Baldwin. "Princess? Do you want to tell me what happened?" His soft tone made you even more sad, and you raised your bandaged hands to wipe your tears, but he caught your wrists and lowered them back gently, using his own hands to wipe away the tears.
"No, you cant use your hands for sometime. The burns need to heal." His hand remained on your cheek, thumb caressing the area under your eye. "What happened, Y/n? Why were you so upset?"
You cant avoid the topic for long, and now that your way of escape is gone, you need to be careful of what you say and how you act around the king.
You let out a shaky breath. "They... they burned my clothes."
"Mmhm. Dont worry, I will have them bring in the fanciest clothes for you. Sibylla will make sure of it. Only the best for my princess." You shook your head. "Its not- its not that... They were my clothes... they burned away-"
"I know... but its a tradition. The maids burn away the bride-to-be's old clothes to signify that youre detaching yourself from the past and starting a new life." He explained, watching as you sniffled. Clearly, you were still upset over this.
"But the maids, they still should've informed you of this tradition before doing anything. I know how emotional of a transition this could be for girls." You nodded sadly, heart still sinking at the loss of your machine. "Dont worry though, they will be punished harshly for it. I have them in the dungeons tonight, and tomorrow-"
"What? Punished? No!" You cut him off. You dont want anyone to die because of you, especially when you dont know if anyone these people could potentially be an ancestor of yours.
"But they caused you harm. You burned yourself due to their-"
"No, no. Please, don't punish anyone- I- it was my fault for not knowing about royal traditions! Please, your Majesty, I beg you- don't do this- i- i-" You pleaded.
"Shhh, okay. Okay. I won't punish them for it." He patted your hair. "On one condition."
You looked at him in confusion.
"You call me Baldwin from now on." He grinned. "We are to be husband and wife soon, I don't want us to use royal titles with each other."
Your eyes widened. Is he- is he really giving up titles? You're not that blind to see his attempts at intimacy, but what you don't understand is why or even how you came to be on the receiving end of it.
What exactly is it about you that has made him want to marry you? Surely, Baldwin would've preferred to marry someone of this era, someone who is more compatible with him. Despite you trying to blend in the past months, you allowed Baldwin to see how you're not... as Conservative as most people of this time period are. One could say that he may be impressed by how intelligent you are than others, but it also brings up the factor of being "threatened" or "insulted" by the same intelligence.
Even though you consider beauty to be a "subjective" thing, the whole "beauty is in the eye of the beholder", you're not blind to how attractive others are. So why not them?
Did he only like you because you're intriguing? Does he still think you're a spy? Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer?
Probably. Or maybe he really does believe all that mumbo jumbo about you being "an angel sent to save him."
"As you wish... Baldwin."
-
Last night, after Baldwin had left you to rest, you stayed up and tried to figure out if you can fix your time machine, and if not, then can you built another one?
Fucking hell. You closed your eyes. I made it once, I can build it again. But it's easier said than done.
Back in the present, you had the technology to build it. Now? You have to first make the technology and the tools from scratch before you could even get on making your time machine, all while keeping your science project discrete, which was easier before because you weren't going to be married to a fucking King!
Right now, you're sitting in Baldwin's private dining room (yes, there are more than one dining room. He's royalty, what did you expect) having breakfast- well, being fed breakfast.
"You really don't need to do this." You said as Baldwin fed you another spoonful. He smiled as he wiped your lips with a napkin. "I don't need to, I want to. Besides, I don't want my princess starving."
Involuntary, your face flushed. "I- the maids could've fed me. And im not a princess." He frowned slightly. "Why would you- open wide, princess- why would you want the maids to feed you when you have me?" He pushed the spoon to your face as you parted your lips, but then he pulled it away and brought his face close to yours. "Do I make you nervous?"
You backed away immediately. "I- no- I mean-"
He burst out laughing. "I'm- I'm sorry princess, but you are just too endearing!" Baldwin chuckled as he grabbed the spoon again and fed you.
Your cheeks reddened, this time more out anger than embarrassment. "I don't want to eat anymore." You muttered, turning your face away.
He smiled as he brought the spoon to your lips again. "Ah ah, but you still haven't had enough." However, you rejected again, looking away instead of replying.
He sighed, placing the spoon back on the plate. "I'm sorry, princess. I shouldn't have laughed at you."
"You shouldn't have." You mumbled, face still turned away from him.
His lips quirked up a bit. "You know, for someone who insists that she's not a princess-" He turned your face to him gently. "- you sure have all the blandishment of one."
"Blandishment?"
"Flattering actions of a princess." He nodded.
You frowned. "Are you calling me a spoiled princess? A brat?"
"I would never!" Baldwin gasped. "I enjoy you acting like royalty, demanding respect and attention. You deserve it and more. Besides-" He picked up some food on the spoon again and brought it to your lips. "Even if if you were a spoiled, bratty princess, I wouldn't mind. I would enjoy spoiling you, hm?" He nudged the spoon to your lips softly.
You parted your lips, making him smile. It really is hard to stay mad at him when he looks at you with his baby blue eyes. They just- they draw you in.
"Also, before I forget, I will be leaving the castle today to meet Salauddin. So you can either hand out with Sibylla, who still wants to help you design your wedding gown, or your can-"
Salauddin? "Why are you meeting Salauddin? Isn't he your enemy?"
He chuckled. "Only on the battlefield. He and I have developed a friendship, or a mutual respect over the years. As to why I'm going to meet him, is... well, you."
"Me?" He nodded. "Since you told me that you're a Muslim, I thought that we could perhaps have a discreet Islamic wedding- what is it called? Nikkah? So, I could go and learn more about it from Salauddin."
You opened your mouth to protest. You don't need to be part of history as the "king of Jerusalem's Muslim wife" or "the Muslim-Christian wedding that took place during the Crusades", even if it might make the world more progressive.
But then, you didn't protest. "Can I come?"
Baldwin raised a brow at you. "You want to meet Salauddin?" You shook you're head. "Well, no, not really. I mean, I don't mind meeting him, but I just want to get out of the castle for a bit. It's been months since i left this place, I just want to get some fresh air." This could be the perfect opportunity for you, because if memory serves you right, Muslims of this era had made significant advances in science. Maybe you can use their help to get some tools to make the time machine again.
Baldwin looked unsure. "I don't know if it would be safe for you-" you held his hand with your bandaged ones. "Please, Baldwin? Can't you take me with you? And wouldn't I be the most safe when I'm with you?" Ah yes, stroke the male ego.
Finally, he smiled.
"Alright. I supposed it would be fine, after all, you should see the kingdom you're going to be the queen of."
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Thoughts? (Also, I need to go shower rn, so I'll put the read more later. Doing so much effort for u guys, my spoiled greedy children)
Part 3 is here.
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mrfoox · 2 years
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Talking with Oliver really is the best tbh
#miranda talking shit#Its a roller-coaster for sure. And im sure it is for him as well lmao#I started to tear up bc i thought about Fabian having have told me he really wants to be a father one day and he was so hopeful sounding#So i started tearing up bc i thought of that memory. And Oliver wad like... Why are you crying ? And i wad like... Bc i thought of Fabian#Telling me he wants to be a dad? And after a while he wad like 'i dont understand. Like you saying youre emotional bc#Fabian. Wanting to be a dad like wtf?' and i laughed bc... Yeah that does sound strange to say. To me its natural bc i can recall how he#Sounded. Ive learned to recognize his diffrent tones and he sounded so happy and hopeful and cute so to me that's precious memory#And i talked more than i usually do in general. And shared more and yeah im anxious about that but it was nice#He said one thing that almost made me cry but then i remembered the way of thinking 'he didn't mean it as an insult to me just a fact' so i#Was fine. Aka he said something like 'i think you think youre understanding. But there are things one cant understand if you have not#Experienced it' and thats true. I try to be understanding but also i know i cant understand everything because i have no reference to#Everything. Talking with Oliver is so fucking refreshing for me bc of how diffrent he is and how he talks in general. He says what he feels#Or tries to. I find that great tbh. Open communication and i dont have to think about it and guess bc he'll explain to me instead#So even if i cant relate or understand i will usually hear another diffrent opinion and its fun.#'i think being emotional is nice. I wish i was more emotional. Its nice that you and other people like you are that'#Getting even an general compliment from oliver is a big boost for my ego lol. He hates saying things you personal terms#Im guessing its bc hes scared of intimacy in general meanwhile im ... Kinda similar. I say we often and like to see myself as part#Of an group. Aka my friends. But i will say shit i think openly and be sappy unless i think people wont like it jskfksjajnfjf#It was fun to hear something positive from him tbh. I always admire people and their diffrent qualities but i assume they dislike mine#So hearing someone liking my... Less popular/fun traits is always nice. I know im emotional and sensitive but 9/10 times people find it#Annoying. I personally dont dislike that part of me. When i do its bc i know others think im too much so i dislike making then uncomfortabl
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bestlilithian · 3 months
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The lilithian experience (lilith dominant chart)
Personal experiences w having heavy lilith influence
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- Older people being creepy subtly or overtly, but usually subtly with certain looks or touches or comments, especially strangers in public or distant family friends
- Being told Im scary or intimidating, or that I look mean (a girl once told me she thought I wouldnt want to hang out w her and her friends because I looked 'too pretty and kinda mean') [this is esp w lilith/asc harsh aspects]
- Lilith square asc culture is walking into a room a little pissed or in a hurry and everyone shutting up (also works for mars/pluto)
- Now Ive never heard anyone else talking about this but as a lilithian woman Ive always been disgusted by the idea of having sex with a man because in our culture a woman who has sex w a man is seen as having been dominated and degraded by him ("I fucked her" "I hit that" "I scored") also the act itself is very power struggle-ish like no *I* want to bend over a man and make him suck *my* dick
- Ive also noticed a lot of lilithian women are lesbians (including me <3) , might deal w lots of comphet tho
- Being hyperaware of people looking at you (even if youre dressed extremely modestly or without makeup)
- Lilith/moon aspects 🤝 your mom making inappropriate comments about you and your body
- Lilith/sun aspects 🤝 your father insulting you or making weird comments (more subtle w soft aspects so you might brush it off but its still not okay girl)
- People thinking youre flirting with them or others (esp men) but youre just hot and talking, and you cant help that ppl have strong reactions to anything you say really
- Loving eye contact <3 (w the right people)
- Lilith square saturn culture is not being afraid to stand up to authority <3 and having to quite often because they have a pick on you and try to tear you down
- also w lilith square/opposite saturn grown ass adults will have beef w you when youre a kid, esp those w authority over you like teachers, coaches etc
- Lilith/asc harsh aspects and overthinking whether a fit is too revealing or not (because you dont want to get harassed and looked at again) (but then youll grt harassed even if you go out in a priests suit so 🤩)
- People (esp men) trying to use you for sex
- Always being the one guys want to be friends w benefits with while theyre crushing on another girl
- "I dont like what you do to me" - most men Ive interacted with for a while
- A guy told me he liked me for who I am but he couldnt stand "the effect I have on him"
- lilith in 4th house culture is attracting men w mommy issues and being looked at by guys in relationships
- lilith/mercury and needing to know all your friends bdsm test results
- People liking when youre mean 2 them
- People who hate you often want to have sex w you
- Ive had so many guys in my class literally have to gather up courage to talk 2 me, even for basic things like asking me to help w something, they approach me looking all tense and worked up like Ill slice their head off for asking me to help them with their math lmao
- A classmate (and friend, apparently) of my friend once didnt want to come out and meet me when I went to my friends school to give her something because she thought Id beat her up (for context I found out she said some nasty things to my friend and was not happy about it)
- Being told by ppl (esp men) that I remind them of characters who are villains
- People esp girls not liking me for no reason or being rude
- Guys in relationships being extremely cold and rude to me or even shittalking me to their gfs (you can guess why)
- People trying to 'put you in your place'
- Recognizing other lilithians immediately
- Being insecure about your private parts, your body in general and your appearance
- Sex obsession since a young age
- Sexual harassment unfortunately
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arieswritez · 11 months
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vincible
vincible | mark grayson x gn!reader (fluff)
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alright since you all asked so kindly here's the fluff from my last hc 🫶🏾 :
cw: slightly suggestive but nothing nsfw. that's all :D
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"why's it looking at me like that?"
the two of you are in bed and with his weight pinning you down, you find it hard to concentrate on what he means.
your head's all fuzzy with the way he's been drowning you in kisses. he kisses you like it might be his last chance to do so: sweet, languid until they melt into something more feral. the way his costume hugs his body doesn't exactly help your concentration, either.
your body's warm as it soaks up his body heat - he's like a fucking furnace - and it yearns. . no. . demands for his attention. you ignore him, making a soft, impatient sound that sounds more like a whine as you try to guide his lips back onto yours.
however, he keeps his head turned to your right, staring at a spot on your bed and says, "what're you lookin' at, huh?"
you pull back, confused, then follow his line of vision.
finally, you see what he sees: a stuffed animal perched against your pillow.
you watch as mark squints at the toy, then, tilts his head and scoffs in indignation as if it's just hurled an insult his way.
"what'd you say?" mark sits up and away from you, puffing out his chest.
the plushie stares at mark with big, black, empty eyes.
you stare up at mark, confused, as he carries on his one sided beef with your plushie.
"they cuddle you while im not here?"
mark crawls over to your plushie and grabs it by its soft neck, his fingers wrapping around the entirety. he pulls it close, putting his nose right up against the toy's. "you wanna say that again, tough guy? don't you know who i am?"
"mark, what're you doing -" you giggle, leaning back on your elbows to watch the ridiculous display before he shushes you.
"hey, you stay out of this. i'll deal with you later." he snaps before turning his attention back to the toy. "oh, you don't care? well, let's see if you care about this -"
mark suddenly shoves the toy into his face.
he flops down atop your bed, wildly flailing with one hand while the other mushes the plushie against his face. he's comically good at it, too, looking like he's being mauled by some feral cat.
he's only emboldened by your uncontrollable laughter: grunting with effort as he rolls over the stuffy and delivers a few blows. even making his own sound effects before he rolls onto his back, your toy gaining the upper hand once again.
this time, he sits the toy atop his face and flails like he's being suffocated. eventually, his body falls limp. the hand that isn't holding the toy upright falling limply at the side of your bed.
your plushie's fought dirty and won.
"i dunno, mark," you manage to say between hiccuping laughs, "you seem pretty vincible to me."
"very funny." comes his muffled voice from beneath the toy. he sits up, stuffy still in hand as he fixes you with an accusatory glare. "laugh. yeah, laugh, while your boyfriend's being mercilessly beaten."
he crawls closer and he thrusts the toy in your direction, waving it side to side by the back of the neck, holding it at arm's length like he's afraid it'll attack him. "i guess you want him now, don't you?"
you raise a brow. "don't misgender my plushies, grayson."
mark retracts the plushie and flips it upside down, looking at its bottom. "oh, right."
you let out a chortle of laughter and he's on you in seconds: pinning you down and smushing the plushie against your face, making kissy sounds while you breathlessly beg him to stop.
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cogbreath · 11 months
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i think some of you should reconsider about reclaiming the r slur. genuinely. like idk for me its the fact that theres a disconnect between the groups of ppl who would have been medically described as such when that term was in usage (referring to intellectual disability. this term was never medically used to refer to autism. or adhd. or any *developmental* disability. this is usa term usage btw. i know uk terms different. ) vs the people who are reclaiming it. maybe there is some overlap but i have yet to see much of it. i get that many disabled ppl regardless of diagnosis have been abused with this term often but...i dunno. especially because imho, i have yet to see anyone who says they reclaim this term ever use it in a way that would be something you could call "taking back" the word. or in an empowering way. really imho many cases seem like just still an insult way or negative way. even when referring to self. you know. especially considering we had a whole public campaign to discourage casual usage of that word. i guess everyone has a different opinion about who can use it but honestly i wish people were more careful and consider more about maybe why they want to reclaim it and if you do reclaim it really think about how you're using it and if its actually something you are doing for empowerment. because if you arent imho you arent doing anything new different from the negative slur context useage of it. really the opinion is that those who have the most 'right' to reclaim it is people with intellectual disability and/or borderline intellectual functioning ........ i personally agree that its for the better to probably not if you do not have that. do you understand what i mean. ..? im not trying to like attack anyone really but just saying this as food for thought , yeah?
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Mercury in da HoUSe (s) mercury and why you think your smart - you only think your smart, you don't even know if you are because you can't think any other way. I dont care if people tell you your smart, they don't even know if they are smart because they have the same dilemma as you....... but if you think your dumb your probs right.... okay enough chit chat we gotta do some astrollogy >> Mercury in the first - These guys talk the talk, hella good at talking, talk too much, but at least they know how to talk. but it gives everyone in the rooom a headache. also there voices go a million directions... they like to put on voices. actually i hate your voice. its too earpiercing its like your looking at there voice even if you look away. how are you able to make me look at yo voice, its meant to be auditory but i can fucking see it STFUUUU Mercury in the second - I like money but not as much as this guy. this guy will think of every scam, every business every investment possible just to prove his worth (typically with money) as kids they are hustlers with money, everyone knows they gonna make coin, but typically as they get older, money don't mean shit to them and they start investing into something substantial and if they dont grow outta this mindset, they become shells of themselves like bill gates or the amazon guy. mercury in the third - okay these guys are actually smart, but its almost hard to tell. because there intelljgence isn't attached to anything beside intelligence itself. so its hard to notice, but they are very smart people. quick learners but i notice not quick thinkers, or at least they don't voice it much. which i guess makes them smart because they ploying liek dat mercury in the fourth - subtle intelligence, almost manipulative intelligence, they are the types to make you make a point jsut so they can point out the flaws in your point rather than make a argument themselves.... then make an argument once yours has been smashed to pieces. assholes honestly... but i rate it its just smart tactics but make em talk first and they speechless lmao mercury in the fifth - funny yes your funny, yes i see what you did there, oh yes this next joke is also funny because it ties in with your last joke.. did i mention your funnY? oh im not that funny, well im sorry i can't do it like you becayse yourr liek for real funny. okay can someone else speak now, this guys voice wasn't annoying but now it is. fr comedians but every comedian over do it, and so do they mercury in the sixth - annoying intelligence, always pointing out the flaws in whatever the fuck you just said. like dude im trying my best to think, to then speak it, and to respect you as a person. and your lookjing for flaws, in my speech? oh you can't help it? well i can't help but not wanna talk to you. annoyingly nitpicky with what i say you say she say, why so serious? oh your too smart? thats what every dumbass has ever said to me stfu. mercury in the seventh - always on your back, but can you get off my back, im still working on my argument i dont need you to suck me off about it jeezes. id rather you criticize me honestly. oh now your critical of me. well why can't you just think for yourself. oh you don't know how to. you only don't know how to because you just wanna learn more and more and more and more and more. and now you dont know how to think for yourself. congrats you played yoself mercury in the eighth - so mysterious wow so profound, i never saw it that way. no you just were thinking of something cool to say this whole time and you jsut thought of it. your only quiet so you dont look like a fool. insecure bitch ass. oh but now you just wanna insult me yeah thats because i called you out. honestly these guys are just looking for a deep chat, and its only deep because they were digging for so long.
mercury in the ninth - these guys know way too much bullshit. like they read a lot and just spit random facts and its hard to talk to them without feeling patronized. like yeah we get it, you read a lot. most peole don't because we like to be a human, not live in a book. go outside its nice. oh thats where you get your information > outside, books, the world is your dictionary - god you really are annoying. oh you knew that already. fuck off man.
mercury in the tenth - shrewd; always thinking and saying the best possible thing to say for each scenario, and its typically just sayings they read in hustler books, or what they dad said once. yeah your street smart, but no one else advertises it as much as you, which means you don't understand the streets as well as you think. yep thats right re-strategise; they just wanna own the streets i swear. and no one tries as hard as them. and thats saying something mercury in the eleventh - stop protesting you mong, you really think convincing us the realities of the world, will change the world? oh itll start the butterfly effect, okay true go on, tell us how eating veggies gonna stop the meat industry. oh you were just saying this crap for bants. yep that was annoying. oh now you wanna talk about how attitudes has shaped the world, dude why you always trying to integrate everysingle philsophy of the world into one conversation. you do realise its all bullshit? but everyone likes em because they invite everyone in on the conversation... hey someone gota do it Mercury in the twelfth - these guys are the worst i swear, cant be more manipulative than these lot, they will act innocent, but come at you aggressivly, and itll just confuse ya. youll think they just dumb and naive but they klnow damn well what da hell they doing. play yo game with someone else... oh you don't like to play with them because they fall for your shit, yep so you only like people who set you straight ehhhh you should just come at me straight or ill set you straight. oh you just struggle with convos well it shows.
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thatdeadaquarius · 1 year
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OKAY BUT I HAVE MORE IDEA FOR BLUNT READER CUZ I LOVE THAT AU SO MUCHANDMDJFKSLDKF
So you know how french people's insult are always outta pocket (from a person who's first language is french I can tell you that no other language compares in insult -apart for African languages)
Like,, some "bad" insult here would be : bitch, fuck off, whore,..
Which we can all agree is boring...
BUT THEN IN FRENCH!!!
We be getting creative with it
Eg.
"mange tes mort" wich translates to "eat your dead (relatives)"
"vas te fair enculer" means "go get yourself pegged in the ass"
(yes, we have a specific word for being fucked in the ass 💀)
AND THOSE WOULD BE THE COMMON ONES AS WELL
English could never compare ✨
BUT ANYWAYS
how would the characters react if reader was from france/ belgium/ canada(or any other french speaking country) and started cursing people out like they eould do in their home countrie !?!?
The eay their face would drop
We would make a couple of people cry
AND GOD(us haha) FORBID A KID OVER-HEAR US AND STARTS REPEATING US
Trying to un-teach them would be hell *cries*
Your thoughts?
Love yaaaa~
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ABSOLUTE TOP TIER ORAH MY BELOVED!!
Nobody has any idea how much I HATE ENGLISH both for its rules/pronounciation BS/etc. But also, most importantly, THERES LIKE NO GOOD CUSS WORDS- OR LIKE CUSS PHRASES??
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I HAD TO PUT THIS GIF BC THAT WAS LITERALLY ME WHEN I HAD THE REALIZATION TO LOOK UP OTHER LANGUAGE CUSS WORDS AND I WAS JUST BLOWN AWAY BY HOW GOOD THEY WERE- HOW CREATIVE- 😫😭🥲 ENGLISH WHY R U SO SHITY IN EVERY POSSIBLE LANGUAGE SITUATION-
like idk we got "eat shit and die / fuck off / go fuck yourself" ???? Like- thats pathetic 😟.
I love hearing someone just cuss smbody out their native language/non-english, it’s so badass and cool to see
Anyway u already know i love non-native english speakers from the bottom of my heart✨️
GOD I FUCKING LOVE BLUNT LANGUAGE AU ITS LIKE ONE OF TOP FAV AS U CAN PROBABLY GUESS I COULD WRITE A LITERAL FANFIC ENTIRELY OFF THIS SIMPLE PREMISE 💖💓💗💞❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥
omg so i HAVE SPECIFICALLY HEARD ABT FRENCH BEING RLLY CREATIVEEE
and i researched french cusswords/phrases,,,
😭 BRO IM CRYING
“bête comme ses pieds!” IM ROLLING ON THE FLOOR-
(trans: you’re as stupid AS YOUR FEEEEEETT)
idk what’s funnier, you translating urself in real time and saying all these phrases to ppl,
OR just scaring the ever-loving shit out of every teyvat citizen within a mile radius bc oh wow- you look pissed, so yeah somebody’s about to lose all their self-esteem for the rest of their life bc ur insults are known to be extra cutting bc ur so blunt-
OH CREATOR ABOVE (…oh creator, present??)- you changed to your holy language FOR THIS???
everybody just giving the npc the most bombastic side-eye for pushing you to do this,
or even just you stubbing ur toe/ate food when it was too hot
or my favorite, getting onto ppl like Wanderer when they do smth silly lmao
STOP I HAD A FOUL THOUGHT OF GETTING ONTO Ei AND WANDERER (like ei for not keeping him/at least giving him to someone else to raise, then all the shit he did as Scaramouche lol)
AND THIS CUSSWORD COMES OUT UNDER UR BREATH OR SMTH- DOES THIS FIT BC THIS KILLS ME:
“Putain de salope…” (whore of whore, I LIED IT MEANS FUCKING BITCH LMAO😭)
JUST GETTING THE MOM AND THE SON IN ONE FULL BREATH CRYINGGGG
STOPPP wanderer using it against other ppl ever since u used it lol
oh no stop dont bring the kids into thisss 😭😭
Klee would deffo be the first one to pick up ur words and use them, omg she just uses them as catchphrases like when throwing her bombs 💀
“Mange tes mort!” JUST WITH A SMILE ON HER FACE AS SHE THROWS HER HUGE SKILL BOMB INTO A FISH POND
Venti would definitely make sure the winds “pass along phrases of the sacred All-God language!”
which just means anyone who UNDERSTANDS YOU JUST GETS GENTLY CREATIVELY CUSSED OUT BY THE WIND IM SOBBINGGG
i hope u guys are having a great summer! its basically too hot to go outside where I am, not unless ur going straight into the water or smth
which hey, ill be doing that this weekend, floating down the river about an hour away from my house with friends! :]
which,,, if anyone sees this, U GOTTA HELP ME THINK OF A 1000 FOLLOWERS MILESTONE THING TO DO IDK WHAT TO DO BUT I WANNA CELEBRATE IT BC I NEVER THOUGHT THATD HAPPEN!! lmk what u think in the comments if u read this!
Safe Travels 0rah,
💀♒
♡the beloveds♡
@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi
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phoenixblaze1412 · 9 months
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Might seem crazy for what im bout to say…
HAI IM SORRY BUT IM NOT REQUESTING THE ORDER OF BAIZHU FLUFF THIS TIME😔🩷
But im gonna order for the regrator boys and girlies! So can we please get a pantalone x gn!reader fluffy? *cough* their first date *cough*
-🎀
No need to apologize love^^ let's go from Baizhu to Pantalone because man needs affection too.
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First Date
Dating Pantalone has its ups and downs but you two were able to make things work.
With him being part of the fatui and bring the ninth harbinger, work always calls for him that it's rare for him to be at home to spend time with you, maybe even once in a blue moon.
Meanwhile you would be working at the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor and helping out your director and friend Hu Tao that you would always be home way past midnight.
But despite rarely being able to see each other, you two would communicate to each other through letters.
And maybe a pyro fatui guard or two that would be watching you from afar to make sure you don't get hurt. They were given strict orders by the Regrator himself or else they would be the next test subjects for Il Dottore's experiments if you were to be harmed.
So to receive an invitation from your lover that you were to have dinner at Liuli Pavilion, who were you to say no.
It's literally your first date with him.
If you're lucky enough, it would also be your first kiss with him if the chance is given.
Such a shame that the only contact you two shared was simple hand holding. Hu Tao even commented at how bland your partner was for not being able to at least give you a kiss. If only she knew that she was insulting a harbinger, but you wouldn't tell her that.
You had to ask her to give you a day off just to be able to prepare for it. And Hu Tao, being the supportive friend she is, immediately pushed you out of the parlor while rambling on about to use protection if your partner decides to give you more than dinner for the night.
Once you made it back to your home, you were surprised to see a gift placed upon your bed. Opening it and looking inside, you could only stare in awe at the expensive outfit laid before you. You were guessing the outfit was custome made, there were even jewels decorating it as it glimmered under the light.
"I hope this gift finds you, my love. I expect that you wear it to our dinner tonight. I shall see you then."
You were thankful for the outfit, noticing how it matches the usual colors you would wear with a mix of purple. You were a bit curious on how Pantalone knew your sizes but decided not to question it, assuming it was simply a lucky guess.
Entering Liuli Pavilion was simple. Finding where your lover resides, is a bit difficult. Before you could even take another step, you were greeted by a familiar voice.
"It brings me great joy to see you wearing the gift I sent, darling. How I have missed you so."
Pantalone stood there before you, taking your hand in his before placing a small kiss to your knuckles.
Oh if he knew how the most simplest action he does can easily make you melt.
Leading you to your dinner table with the food already prepared. The two of you dined in, talking about how the other has been doing.
Now, we know how no one has ever seen the Regrator's eyes before. But for you, you are an exception.
As you rambled on about the things that happened while he was gone (even though he always knows what happens to you every day considering his fatui agents would report to him daily, he simply pretends to not know. He does like listening to your voice after all), his eyes glanced at your form. Purple irises tracing and remembering each curve of your body due to how the outfit he had made hugged your figure nicely.
You stopped talking midway when you felt gloved fingers grasp your chin and turn you to the side before feeling a pair of lips pressing against yours.
You were glad your body immediately responded by kissing back. Meanwhile your brain is still processing the current situation.
Pantalone is kissing you. YOU.
ANWIEJDOQJSKJQOJSOJSKJWOXJ
(Y/n).exe has stopped working...
Pulling away from the kiss, you could only sat in a daze with your cheeks flushed red.
You are definitely going to tell Hu Tao about this.
Pantalone was simply enjoying your reaction. He too was waiting for the chance to be able to kiss you. He always wondered how your lips would taste like. After knowing it now, it made him crave for more.
Once you both finished dinner, Pantalone led you to the various shops and markets you two would pass by, offering you sweet delicacies and buying you expensive jewelry. Simply pampering you with gifts that he knows would look wonderful on you.
He doesn't ignore the fact that there are various people, men and women alike, who would eye you as if you were their prey. Nonetheless, he would have his arm wrapped around your waist and pulling you close to him. Showing the world that you already belong to someone else, him specifically. Pantalone wouldn't even hesitate to use his power and connections to take care of those that would try to lay their hands on you or even dare to take you away from him.
Pantalone would make sure that you get home safe once the date has ended, he would walk you back to your home.
He already has a promise ring in hand as he slipped it onto your finger, telling you that he would be visiting you more frequently from now on to be able to spend time with you.
You think he would just leave after getting you home and placing a ring on your finger?
He would pull you towards him before kissing your lips again, making sure this one lasts more longer than the one he did earlier until you're breathless before pulling away with a smile.
"I look forward to seeing you soon, dearest. Do expect that I'll be wanting your attention whenever I visit. I do deserve it after working so hard, no?"
Overall experience of the date? ∞/10
You are definitely giggling like a school girl while telling everything that happened to Hu Tao the next day. Her also giggling and squealing along with you. Zhongli could only shake his head in amusement as he drank his tea.
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jhugas · 1 year
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‘Im not done with you…’- Park Jimin
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✿✼:*゚:༅。.。༅:*・゚゚・⭑
Genre: contains angst, mainly smut
Pairing: Jimin X 8thmember! Afab! Reader
Summary: your argument was stupid and getting hurtful, so you expected a few things from Jimin, but not this…
Word count: ~1,9k
Warnings/tags: oral (f receiving), fingering, penetration (d in v), cum eating (m eats), unprotected sex, 3 diff position including a standing up one- he carries her-(he hellaaaa strong, he can carry anyone), cum stuffing, creampie, reader cums twice, they cum 2gether, some French kiss, make out ofc, big d! Jimin, Reader has a dick bulge in her stomach, reader gets hella tired at the end lol, and also forbidden love/sex ig? by the agence.
✿✼:*゚:༅。.。༅:*・゚゚・⭑
You and Jimin were arguing endlessly and it was getting more and more heated. And the worst is, that you’re fighting over nothing.
You started arguing over something stupid, then started mentioning deeper topics and just using each other’s weaknesses against each other. The main reason you started arguing for got lost in the way, and you bring this up.
‘Why did we even start fighting for? You’re just straight insulting me! Can’t you keep a normal conversation? Is it that hard??’ you yell at him, while the two of you are sat on the same couch against the wall.
‘Listen, I don’t understand anything you’re saying. You get mad at literally everything! We literally agree. I agree with you y/n!!!’ he yells back.
‘Oh so you agree now? Well good! I guess we can stop arguing!’
‘No y/n, I ALWAYS agreed with you, you just don’t understand!’
‘Well then, why are we fighting?!’ You say as you get up, looking down on him and confused on why did you start fighting, slowly calming down.
‘Why did w-‘ you began to say, before Jimin got up too, and cut you by smashing his lip against yours.
You don’t really understand why he kissed you all of a sudden, you’ve never kissed before, but indeed, you can’t say there was never something between you two.
You remember that one time, when you were both sitting down in the pool at night, all alone during summer, and you were just talking together about love and how you wished to find it. And it’s just the way he was staring at your lips when you were talking and the way he was looking at you, that installed an oddly comfortable tension.
It’s true, you felt like your body was moving on its own, trying to feel his lips on you, anywhere, but it didn’t happen.
In fact, your agency didn’t let any idol of the same group date each other, and even if you could just have fun without dating, you never talked about it, so he might not feel the same…
But though you always wanted to kiss him, you didn’t know if it was the right thing to do. Working with someone you might fall in love with is… complicated. But Jimin doesn’t care.
His lips are moving along with yours, still a bit shy but getting more and more bold each second. He has his hands on you, one behind your head, and the other one in between your waist and lower back to hold you close to him, in fact, both of your hips are stuck together.
You pull back to breathe and look at him with a worried look.
‘What’s wrong? Are you alright?’ He asked you when he noticed the way you’re looking at him, he needed to feel his lips on yours again as soon as possible.
‘Are you sure this is okay?’ You whisper with your lips almost touching his.
‘You don’t need to think about anything… just relax and enjoy, you have nothing to do…’ he whispers back, before slowly completing your lips with his again, his bottom lip filling the gap in between yours as he gently sucks on your top lip.
His hand lowers to your ass, leaving you time to stop him if you wanted, but you don’t. He notices and doesn’t lose time to grab your thighs, before lifting you up, making your legs wrap around his tiny waist. Then he leaned his head to the side to get a better taste of you, sliding progressively his tongue in to feel you better.
You can’t help but moan in the kiss. His hands sliding in your panties and the way he’s carrying you is too attractive, he’s making you feel so loved and wanted, and makes you all needy simultaneously.
Because of your position, he gets on his knees on the couch, facing the wall, and makes you sit on the top of it in front of him. He stopped kissing your lips and began to leave kisses on your body instead, from your neck, to your cleavage, to your stomach until he reached your lower stomach.
He looks up at you in admiration with his siren eyes, asking permission to take off your shorts and panties to feel your pussy in his mouth. And as soon as you nodded, you lifted your hips to make it easier for him to take off your shorts and panties in one go, something that he successfully did.
You are now legs open, revealing your bare wet pussy right in front of his shining eyes.
Then he started.
He kissed your thighs, slowly and sensually, then got closer to your lips, before pressing his plump lips against your clit and start giving it a few licks with his tongue.
He also teases your hole, licking the edges just enough to tease you and make you want more.
Curses leave your lips as his tongue works on your clit and his hands grab firmly your thighs to keep them open. You, you are grabbing his hair, bringing him closer to you though it’s not possible, and enjoying his moans through your body vibrations.
His tongue is precise and pleases you at the perfect pace, making your orgasm come faster than usual, and getting wetter each move. And Jimin doesn’t mind, he loves the taste of your juices and would love to drown in it, he always fantasized about how good you’d taste.
He keeps sucking on your clit meanwhile his fingers get to your entrance and eagerly push them in, curling them perfectly and immediately finding your sweet spot. Jimin had so much control over his tongue and fingers it was insane, there is no other like him, he’s the only one that can make you feel like this, and he was ready to prove it to you.
Obviously, you felt your orgasm coming closer and closer as you grab his hair harder, the position being complicated for him but he doesn’t mind, all he wants to hear is you screaming his name.
‘Fu- ugh Jimin! I’m gonna cum!’ you say with the energy you have left, shamelessly showing him how good HE makes you feel.
When he hears this, he decides to go faster to make you cum harder, and it happened.
You cum hard all over his fingers, closing your walls around his fingers as he doesn’t stop until you’re totally done, falling from your high.
Curses leave both of your lips as he pulls out his fingers of you, and leave your clit by itself. Jimin can’t help but taste you on his fingers, feeling your sweet juice on his tongue after playing with it.
Meanwhile, you’re still trying to catch your breath against the wall, still sitting on top of the couch.
‘I’m not done with you…’ Jimin tells you, looking deep into your eyes.
You only manage to answer ‘huh?’ In your state, before he carried you again and started kissing you eyes shut closed, shoving his tongue in your mouth.
You let yourself do and as he told you before ‘just relax and enjoy’. He still has your legs around his waist as he holds you high enough to pull down his pants and Calvin Klein boxers, your bare wet pussy against his lower stomach, and you feel his cock hitting your ass.
‘Be careful…’ you tell him, but he’s not listening, he’s busy aligning the tip of his cock with your cunt.
First, he slides it in between your folds to stimulate your sensitive clit and tease your entrance, before pushing his thick cock inside you.
You throw your head back and arch your back as Jimin carries you safely, and started to make you bounce on it.
He’s grabbing your ass firmly, making you jump up and down his dick as it hits your sensitive sweet spot again. You were so sensitive that even when you tried to not move too much to annoy Jimin, you were still squirming while Jimin, in fact, wasn’t struggling at all.
He was 100% stable and wasn’t ready to let go or stop anytime soon.
Wet clapping sounds, your whimpers, and Jimin’s low groans and moans became louder and louder, still clapping his balls against your ass as his cock pounds into you.
Then suddenly, Jimin decided to switch position, so he pulled out, for one reason; he wanted to see his cock disappear in your cunt.
He heads to the kitchen and lays your back against the kitchen table, as your ass is at the same height as his hips, making it easy for him to slide in and out of you.
You rest a little bit before he slowly pushes his tip in you, observing how his big and thick cock disappeared in your little hole. And once he was all the way in, he could see a bulge in your lower stomach, your lips grabbing his cock as he pulled back. Your sensibility is now more than enjoyable, and you get more pleasure with each thrust.
‘Take off your shirt baby… I wanna see you all naked for me…’ he says, excited at the idea of seeing your titties jump.
‘Do it for me-‘ you answered, too tired to even think straight.
At your words, Jimin doesn’t lose any time and takes off his hands of your hips to take off your shirt, then waiting for you to arch to unclip your bra, finally being able to see your body entirely naked for the first time. You looked more than ethereal, seeing you all open for him and so vulnerable made him feel so trusted.
He can feel your walls clench around him, and also his high coming fast.
‘I’m gonna cu- cum soon.’ Jimin warns you.
‘Cum in me, I wanna cum with you…’ you answer breathlessly.
Jimin is happy at the green light, he’ll be cumming in you and watching his thick semen get out of your cunt too.
He keeps on pounding into you, watching your boobs jump in circles and making you feel every single inch of his thick and big cock he was so proud of. You already felt it when you were secretly grinding on each other years ago, too scared to do more, but feeling it inside you was much different.
‘Fu- I’m cumming!’ He screams, as he pushes his dick deeply into you to cum the further possible. He paints your walls in white and you feel his warm cum resting in you. Then you came next, your juice drowning Jimin’s cock that was still in you, whispering to himself ‘so tight’.
Your body started shaking as Jimin made sure you didn’t hit your head on the table.
Then finally, the two of you calmed down. Not moving as both of your juices mix together in your spot, until he pulled out slowly, making you feel so empty all of a sudden.
He watched his cum get out of your cunt and slide down to your asshole, but Jimin wanted to stuff you more. As you were relaxing laying down, he used his tip to gather his white cum and shove it in your cunt again repeatedly.
‘What just happened?’ You ask Jimin.
‘I said don’t worry love, let’s take a shower now. Had fun?’ He whispers.
‘Yes…’ you whisper back, before Jimin carried you to the toilet then to the shower, helping you feel better and cuddling you a lot.
Let’s say this was an apology for every mean things you told each others.
Thank you for reading! Reblogs, comments and likes are extremely nice and helpful. Thank you!
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