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#its just. ive been going through a lot lately man and theres only so much stuff i can attempt to commit myself to
meowchela · 1 year
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ill be so fr i havent actually watched villainous yet. like every time i see it on my dash im like ooh i gotta watch that still!! and i havent been doing it. mainly bc i keep forgetting to look for 🏴‍☠️ websites that have it...ive seen the shorts years ago but not the actual show that got made yknow
honestly the shows always felt like smth ive been on the outskirts of, like no matter how much i try to get into it i always feel like im missing something....what with the shorts being scattered and the show being p much exclusive to a streaming service AND not even in english, and lately i hear theres a lot of lore on like. instagram accounts and a blog???? and books???? which is great!! but i 1. dont speak spanish and 2. am not invested enough to hunt all of it down let alone BUY any of it
honestly. i think im just gonna unfollow that one blog that posts news abt it bc its all getting too confusing for me to keep up with......if this series was meant for me itll find its way back to me someday 🧙‍♂️✨
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lemontongues · 3 months
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yknow ive been thinking again lately about how i would like to see more realism in batman content, both canon and fandom, but not the Dark And Gritty kind. the kind thats like.
yes actually he is highly emotionally intelligent and does understand himself quite well and has just accepted that he is A Freak and decided to roll with it rather than being so horrifically emotionally repressed that he can barely even acknowledge that what hes doing is based in trauma. hes been in therapy since he was like 9 years old. he studies human psychology extensively both for himself and so he has better odds of predicting whats gonna go wrong and how when hes up against a rogue or negotiating a hostage situation or whatever. he meditates for two hours a day and is fully capable of keeping a healthy handle on his anger 98% of the time. he's nice to people and fun to be around and sincerely caring. if he were just Always Right but super isolated and reactive and cruel and controlling everyone would fucking hate him and no it wouldnt be enough to sustain his crimefighting activities, thats a stupid lone wolf fuckboy fantasy
he has a strict 9pm bedtime that he only breaks for mandatory WE/brucie activities or emergencies. if theres a gala where he needs to rub shoulders with ppl to gather intel or keep his company running he'll do it but hes Not Happy about being out until midnight and cuts out early as often as possible, and when hes chasing the joker around until 3am hes lamenting his poor sweet circadian rhythm that did nothing wrong ever in its life the whole time. when hes batmanning hes expending a fuckton of energy and he needs to make it up and have a well-established routine to counteract the punishment hes putting his body through. on a similar note, this man is building braces and compression into his suit and doing extensive physical therapy exercises every day of his life bc he wants to have helpful little things like "knees" and "shoulders" by the time hes 40, and hes probably eating a small farms worth of assorted leafy greens and several chickens per day
he is simply Never drunk and he doesnt actually have that much sex. hes really really good at faking a) being drunk and b) getting a high priority phone call from lucius the minute someone hes making out with starts trying to get his shirt off. he also does a lot of "hey look i gotta get out of here with my reputation intact, can we help each other out and pretend we're gonna go fuck?" kind of negotiating with ppl (see: his 9pm bedtime, plus sometimes hes gotta slip away from an event to be sneaky), which is how a lot of the more wild stories about him start circulating lol. this is a man who's regularly getting gassed/injected/etc with highly experimental substances created by maniacs trying to torment or kill him, he does NOT want substances like drugs or alcohol in his body that could potentially interact with them, and the last thing he needs is to be dealing with a pregnancy or sti scare. plus if he can play it safe with someone and have them think of him as a nice and trustworthy dude who just has a bonkers reputation, all the better for his batman activities!
idk i just feel like theres unexplored potential in a lot of that stuff bc so much of recent batman mythos is like HES SO HARDCORE AND CAN DO ANYTHING AND HES ALWAYS RIGHT CAUSE HES SO PARANOID AND DISRESPECTFUL OF PPL AND THEIR BOUNDARIES BUT ITS OKAY BC ITS IN THE NAME OF BEING RIGHT and im like. okay. gotta admit that i dont rly find that believable or in line with my values. can we talk about WE's sweet sweet employee benefits package and bruce designing his suit to take most of the impact off his knees when he jumps off a roof. members of the jl discovering that he gives shockingly balanced and insightful advice about their mundane personal problems. bruce printing his own batsymbol envelopes to leave people cash after he misaims his grappling hook and breaks their window. things of that nature.
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Alright i puss in boots, i have a whole lot of feelings about it, so buckle up! This is gonna be long, YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!!
So im a very grand dreamworks fan, they where one of my main inspiration on why i want to become an animator, through my whole life, on 2020 i got incredibly hyperfixated on dreamworks as a studio (their history, production of their movies yadayada) that hyperfixation has followed me to beginnings of 2022 so im very god damn attached to this studio (cuz autism) so man i got so emotional when i saw the new intro i started tearing up aaaa, okay now onto the movie.
After the universal buy of dreamworks i was very fucking worried about the future of the animation studio, so much so that i really just accepted httyd 3 as their last movie, they went out with a bang i sated to myself, and i wasn't much more re-comforted when their first movie after the buy was abominable, is a nice movie yes! But it has that illumination-e feeling of being just a safe product (regarding its story, thr animation is fucking gorgeous) and then it came trolls world tour (sure was okay) the boss baby sequel, the croods 2 (i actually really liked this one it was very funny and creative!) Spirit untamed (what a sick joke! I mean the animation is pretty and all but ive always hated the spirit series bc of shiting all over the og movie, sorry im salty abt this one) But then! The bad guys came out!! And it was such a fun and creative and beautiful movie!! Having such an awesome art, so dynamic and cool the mix of 2d and 3d it was just so cool! and such a fun story and it was just soo good!!! And it gave me so much hope for the future of the studio!! Specially after seeing the trailer for the puss in boots movie!! Seeing that dreamworks is also taking this more experimental approach to animation made me sososo happy!! And yk i was going to watch puss in boots only for the animation before, i didnt really tough it would have much of a deep story i was contempt with just watching a silly goofy movie with beautiful animation!
And don't get me wrong the first puss in boots haves very good story and the emotional moments landed pretty well!! I just didn't think dreamworks would do that kind of stuff anymore (due to what they've been putting out lately being mainly funny silly movies [wich theres nothing wrong with!!]) BUT HOLY CHEESE N RISE!! Through this movie, if i wasn't tearing up about how cool and beautiful the animation and the fight scenes where, i was tearing up about gato's conflict with his fear of death and his relationship with kitty and fucking seeing gato's past life with shrek and donky and man im so emotional about this
And also the music it was soo good i absolutely adored the motif for the death and the little "dreamworks motif"™ at the end it was so beautiful
And the character design!!!! Omg it was soo good, DEATH HOLLY MOLLY DEATH he looked sooo goood it was so fucking scary and cool!!! And his weapon!!!!! And then theres the little dog he was soo cute, and the other guy that i forgot his name!! And goldi and the three bears!!!!
Speaking of which i also really fucking loved goldi and the three bears' acr and their interactions where absolutely delightful and nice!! And i really loved their ending
And perrito's and kitty's story, and the final confrontation of gato and death!!! And aaaa it was all so beautiful and awesome and cool and dazzling, and then the ending of perrito, kitty, and gato going to far far away, and the scene at the beginning of the first fight of gato and death!!! It was soooo sooo cool, the colors and the lightning IN GENERAL ALLL OF THE FIGHT SCENES WHERE SO AWESOME!!!
And man the little scene of gato remembering his mom giving him the boots, i was so nice guck i cant believe how attached im to these freacking characters
And like dude the colors where so vibrant and aaa this movie was just so beautiful!!! Im so happy and sad and im just a mess of emotions due to this movie it makes me so happy for the future of dreamworks animation, and mainstream animation in general, because and i cannot stress enough, animation is not a genera for kids, is an art form, just as versatile and beautiful as any other.
Anyways this movie was pretty epic probably my favorite from this decade with gillermo del toro's pinocchio and i for once, can't wait what the future will get us :]
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ankhisms · 2 years
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painfully aware of how my mental and physical illnesses make it feel almost impossible for me to function or exist at all in society
yes i have a diary now yes i am still writing this here bc im not home yet. my pain in my back and neck and hip have been worse and worse lately and ive been trying to just manage it and deal with it but my mental health has also just been a rollercoaster lately where ill be fine and then ill take a nose dive and have been genuinely really seriously suicidal and close to relapsing into self harm but i thankfully havent. right now im just thinking about how much it sucks that just no matter how hard i try people can still sense that theres something off about me and that i dont act "normal" in our interactions like at the end of the audition i had to talk to this like theater manager lady and the conversation was really hard for me to follow along and get through and it was clear that she thought i was acting weird and she asked me if id be willing to do behind the scenes stuff and i said something like well i like 25 miles out of town so i cant really come for backstage stuff on short notice and she was like well can you follow instructions and i had trouble responding to that because thats a loaded question for me i do often strugglw with the instructions people give me especially in environments like work ones so i said uh within reason and she clearly thought that was a weird response. it just all makes me feel so hopeless i feel like in the past with the theater i grew up in and the other one i acted in they like... they were aware of me being strange but the directors at least didnt hold it against me or get mad at me really for being not normal because they knew i was a good actor and i worked hard and i was serious about it and passionate about it and now i feel like people just notice that im not normal and think that means that they shouldnt have me in their production. but then it hurts to also think like. well what if ive just never actually been very good at this. for such a long time acting was like the only thing i ever truly felt fully confident in myself about and the only thing i belueced in myself about ive always felt pretty insecure about my art and writing even though i love doing those things just as much as acting but with acting i always felt like it was something i was good at or at least decent at it like i got lead roles the first time i tried to go to college i got a scholarship for my acting. and now im just like. what if ive just been total shit at this this entire time. what if someones going to just tell me straight to my face that im laughably bad at this and that its pathetic and that theres no chance in hell that i can ever be a professional actor. thinking about it all now its like man. the professors at that first college i tried to go to who tormented me and told me i was too ugly to get any roles and too emotional really fucked me up i think thats where this self doubt in my acting ability is coming from. because before that whole disaster i really did feel more solidly confident in my ability. and now its like. what if i really just suck at this and no matter how much i love it and care about it and put a lot of work and thought and effort into it what if theres just no chance for me and its all impossible. anyway im just rambling now but yeah. really doubt im getting into the show i auditioned for today
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genesisz · 4 months
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ive been thinking about religion a lot lately, whether i believe or not, what do i believe in? do i have to believe? do i want to believe? something my brother said to me when i was young was “you need to believe in something” back then i kinda thought that meant in any religion, just pick one, but later on i kinda figured that meant just not to follow what your parents or other people tell you, but that you truly believe it or feel something? im kinda confused abt how people go to church and listen to someone talk and pray, do they feel something? and maybe they dont but it at least works for them. it does not work for me, i dont feel anything, i kinda just listen and pick apart what they are saying and end up mad bc i disagree so i never even get to listen to the entire thing. i also cant take them seriously singing up there, sometimes they go hard fr, i be jammin but other times im like? do they really gotta do all that? but also that must work for them and thats great… just not for me. waking up to do that? no thank u. it just genuinely does not interest me, i dont care for it all. its not for me. its not something i want to do, spend my time on, i dont see the point. i truly dont see the point. out of so many religions, i dont want to continue to learn about christianity/catholicism, i just think theres so much more therefore why stick to one thing? not to say thats necessarily what you are doing when u partake in ur religion but if i were to invest my time into something i rather it be something new, not what i grew up with and not what surrounds me now. do i want to invest my time on a new religion? no, not a priority for me atm, i kinda dont even get it. are we…using this for guidance? following/educating/believing certain sentences to guide your life? i can definitely understand that part and get it, but the parts about God and the idea of worshiping essentially a man seems a bit crazyyyy…. i just cant do it man, which ofc not everyone is taking it that seriously….i think… idk… ive only been around people who r pretending to be serious about and people who are 100% about it, so yea ppl im surrounded by have influenced why idc, but ive tried giving it a shot, i just dont really feel like lying or being hypocritical anymore. i believe theres definitely more out there, and the possibility of Gods, for sure ( i prefer virgin mary if ima believe in anything its gonna be a woman! ) but also like im not gonna take it too seriously…. like… its not that serious… also when i say that like i fw w her but its not like im praying to her, i have and pray for others in the sense that i wish for such and such but like never for myself. i think thats still selfish maybe, but im jst not really saying Dios or someone just in a general sense, which works? why not? omg dont get me started on repenting, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN? i think we all hope bad people get whats coming to them but also mistakes are mistakes, youll be fineee you can have self awareness and apologize, living and learning is basically what youre doing but i rather do it w/o the extra stuff, AGAIN if it works for others thats great, i dont think its taken that seriously anymore unless ur a hardcore old person but again growing up and seeing it or being surrounded by it is just like ughhh whateverrrrr ill probably ask around to people my age to see the point of view but idk i think the guidance part is nice but maybe like reading it? not so much living it and going by it, bc well…. ima live my life and ima rot if i wanna rot, i just dont wanna take it so seriously, i feel like if you arent kinda serious abt it then whats the point? other than pleasing others or a lil hobby. i need someone to ask me questions to see figure out what i believe in bc i think i know i feel like i have some answers but also maybe i dont
idk tbh i lost my point tbh, but i believe in myself, one thing ima do is think it through and act or dont act ☝️
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bloodiedthorns0102 · 11 months
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is this cheesy?
maybe, i cant really say a lot of my writings ever been good in all fairness- i was always taught to only write in ways that appealed to people who lived through a past thats no longer present for me to live in. Write it this way and that- use these words and not those-
arent i just human though?
i guess writing this in a more human or casual way makes it less terrifying- its kinda just a stream of thoughts that's been rushing through my head. and sure my heads wild to listen to already as is- but the more i see things as so tragic nowadays and my views been pushed down to such a negative chapter of this play-
i cant really say its easy being trapped with myself
nowadays we see these changes all over the world but it's blurred and smudged over into a mucky grey
and isn't that annoying too? im an artist- so smudging something that's supposed to be more vibrant into something terrible to look at is just disheartening and disappointing. me myself I've had a lot of emotional shifts as of lately too- been feeling like a rubix cube being knocked around after years of no use.
im getting off track though- even if you didn't know it- man many of these writings are like "life changing" to some people but really it just sounds like im talking to the stars again whether that's on my new roof, on my old balconies at the apartments i used to live in, or the old porch my grandpa built with my mother when i was a child at my childhood home. to me speaking to the stars is just a reflection of myself im speaking to without the harshness of such a pale exhausted face staring back at me.
i mean light years away someone is maybe seeing me through a telescope like we are the beginning of our universe right now and im happy. im happy and not truly aware of the pain and sadness i was feeling yet and i had my brother and a somewhat normal life.
ive always lived so lonely though no matter the amount of cats or animals ive had.
even looking at the stars makes me feel smaller even if it can be so motivating seeing such a big picture thats so close to reach yet so far away. i cant help but be nihilistic and critical can i? dear lord and here i was reading about two vampires loving each other so dearly earlier.
back to the star thing though- i cant help but feel crushed looking at the fading remains of stars we call beautiful cause really all we are are looking at the past when we look up at them. the light hasnt hit our eyes yet in time to be present for them.
and thats really how i feel nowadays- a star in its death that no one can see because the light of the present hasnt truly hit them yet because they are so far from me to even touch. like really it takes 8 seconds for us to see the suns light- but imagine being so far people only see you at the age of 1,000 out of maybe millions of years you have been alive.
and i guess thats why i make myself feel so much hurt and sorrow- to convince myself im truly living and present within my own life and others- to feel like i made SOME impact- anything something nothing everything. i just, cant fathom im here for it all to amount to anything
but really can anyone? then again thats the question we all ask and we always say the same thing to each other
"yes you can!! you already are now!!"
if i have why cant i feel it paving a path within my own stone filled garden??? why cant my roses flutter to life again slowly??
and we all know it takes time but is that time or light ever gonna be able to hit the eyes of others fast enough?
will my death be so near to me or has already happened but no one has seen it yet?
why am i so far away- or are the people i love the ones that are far? why does their light shine so bright just for me to dread knowing its going to dim out at any point without me being able to predict it.
and ya know theres only so many tiktoks you can see on that damn for you page of people just living and sit in your room wondering if youre ever gonna live as much as them.
but are they also living?? i guess my therapist has shown me how to live more then say even a trip outside ever could in just almost 2 years. though living is always a choice for the person within it. i guess it makes the dilemma of people seeing my life much slower then how my death began better right? they see how i chose to live and fulfill myself rather then begin to give up cause i felt my core exploding from immense amount of energy and collisions.
and sure thats sweet to hear but- when is everyone gonna try and live within the present alongside me and how much more do i have to plead and beg and scream and whimper in pain for someone to realize its actually happening??????
ok maybe that got a little dark
but idk- questioning it all might be futile but questioning it can bring awareness so why not ya know?? may as well not be blind even towards myself even if this all feels VERY dramatic and ill probably cringe over it hours later.
imagine lmao
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i-am-infinite · 4 years
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Guilt (Part 1): The Rescue
(Din Djarin x ForceSensitive!Fem!Reader)
Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6
Slight Chpt 12 and 13 spoilers. Read at your own risk.
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Description: Moff Gideon has found someone else to run his experiments on and word gets back to Din. Will he take his son far away and try and find somewhere safe? Or will the guilt of an innocent being put in his son’s place eat away at him? (No Y/N or ___ used)
Word Count: Slightly over 4K
Warnings: Mentions of blood and needles. Broken glass. Fainting. Blood loss. Canon type violence. Possible bad writing (first fic pls go easy on me). If I’m missing anything please let me know, I’ve never done one of these before. 
A/N: This is my first fanfic I’ve written so it might be really bad but I couldn’t get the idea out of my head so here it is. I also made up a planet/system and don’t know if star wars has alarm clocks but i wrote it in anyway. I also wrote this in Word first and then realized I couldn’t copy it over so I tried my best to type it over in here. 
Normal. That is what was used to describe your life. Nothing out of the ordinary. Life wasn’t boring per se, but it definitely wasn’t compelling enough for your tastes. Studying to be a healer help keep it somewhat interesting but not enough. 
Bzzzzz. Bzzzzzzzzz. Crust littered eyes creak open as your face unsticks from the textbook scattered across the desk. Bzzzzz. Bzzzzzzzzz. Your stiff neck cracks as you finally sit up. Fell asleep studying again. You loved learning about healing, you really did. But the long nights and barely sleeping was enough to make your head explode. Looking over at the clock with bright red numbers blinking at you. 8:15. 
8:15! I’m late! You think as you force yourself awake. No not again! Being a student means you need to do hands on hours down at the nearest medcenter. All the late night studying also means that you oversleep most days. Grabbing your work bag filled with a change of clothes, in preparation of these events, you run out the door.
Your feet hit the wet cobble stones as it echos through your little part of the city. Vendors lining up the street ready to start their days. Passing the shop you went to yesterday, your mind too preoccupied to notice that it’s empty today. You know that theres is a faster route to the medcenter, but is it a path you really want to take today? Dark and windy path that you can barely see five feet in front of you on mornings like this. Too foggy and muggy for your liking. You’d rather stick to the main road where there’s people, where if anything were to happen, people would see, they would know. Regardless, it shaves fifteen minutes off your commute. You loathe having to be late for another shift. Making the sharp turn in between tow booths, you pace quickens to get through as quickly as you can. While not having much visibility, you swear you can see a pair of eyes in the dark. Has to just be my imagination, you convince yourself, I just need to keep going. It’ll be fine. 
Footsteps echo behind you. Hands grab your shoulders. A scream rises in your throat, but no sound comes out. Everything goes dark when you feel something hit the side of your head. 
.
Sigh. “Grogu get back in your seat.” The little baby waddles down off the controls and into his father’s lap. “Not what I meant,” Din grumbles with a smile hidden under his helmet. He grabs Grogu by his little robe and places him in the seat to his right and tells him to buckle up as a holo comes through from Greef Karga. 
“Mando, we’ve just got word that Moff Gideon might have been seen in the Braic system. It looks like they found a substitute for the baby for the time being. I would use this time to go find a hide-out and lay low. He could still come back for the little one. Be well,”
Din goes to start the ship and find coordinates to stay out of trouble for a while when he hears the baby whine. Looking back at his adoptive child, all Din can see is Grogu, then a nameless kid, lying unconscious on a metal table, trapped underneath a contraption. Din starts breathing heavy and feeling sick that he ever gave his son up to those Imps. All he can hear is the beeping of the machine he’s hooked up to. Anger boiling back to the surface as he hears himself yell at the doctor all over again in his memories. No, he tells himself, He’s here with me. He’s fine. He’s safe. He shakes himself out of it and goes to fly the Razor Crest off planet. 
Before he even gets off the planet, all Din can think about is that innocent person in his son’s place. They were going to kill Grogu, just for his blood for their experiments. Din can’t bring the kid anywhere near those people, he can’t risk losing his family, not when both of them have formed such attachments to each other. But he can’t stop thinking of this person who is in the that position now. He should’ve made sure Gideon was dead. Because of that now more people are going to get hurt. 
Without thinking he turns on his holo already asking, “Where is he taking them?”
Feeling groggy with heavy eyes, you are able to open them just a bit to a blinding light. Reluctantly closing them again, you lift your arm to rub your eyes, but only they don’t move. What? The rest of your senses start coming back and you can feel the cool metal against your back, the same metal wrapped around your wrists and your ankles attached to the table. Finally bracing the light and opening your eyes, lifting your head slightly off the table and oh no the room is spinning now. There is an IV in your arm drawing your blood out into some odd machine, explaining the dizziness. Second time in two days you’ve had to deal with your own blood. 
Walking through the shops on your one day off, you pick up a flower hair pin. The glasswork is so intricate and entrancing, you can’t help but turn it over and over in your hands. A pearl bead sitting in the center of iridescent gray and white petals. Placing it back in its place, your had scrapes against another glass design that is not yet finished, slashing open your palm. “Oh, dear let me help you with that,” the lady running the stand says. She looks you with her white hair barely covering her forehead. Tattoos liter her arms. A design peaks your interest as you swear you know but can’t quite place. 
“It’s fine, I can take care of it myself,” you state already inspecting your hand. No shards in it so thats good. 
“Oh no I insist. It happened at my booth, let me help clean it,” she declares taking your hand in her own. It feels like she squeezes the wound causing you to wince in pain slightly. Knowing she should just be cleaning it and wrapping it, you’re a little confused. Maybe she just doesn’t know how to tend to these sort of things, not wanted to embarrass her at her stand, you keep quiet. She finally gets a clean rag to help blot away at the blood on your hand. You didn’t think anything of it at the time, but it appears she has put it in a bag to the side. 
“I don’t have any gauze to help wrap it up,” the stand lady says. 
“Oh, don’t worry, I have plenty of my own,” you mention, “It will be fine until I make it back to my place.” Smiling you walk away. Without looking, you can feel her move the piece you cut your hand on into the bag. Must just be because it’s a dangerous piece, you think, not knowing there’s still some of your blood on it too. 
Closing your eyes again, you try to wonder why that is so significant to you right now. It was a harmless thing in passing, so why is it at the forefront of your mind? You are strapped to a table and all you can think about is that little cut you got the day prior. If your head didn’t feel like it was a spinner top right now, you would have laughed. Opening your eyes again you see men all in white armor and helmets guarding the door to your room, while a man in a white coat is working on the machine where your IV is attached. I thought the empire was dead. The same symbol that keeps going through your mind is the same one sewn into the man’s white coat. Your breathing gets shallower as you feel the panic rise in your chest. I’m never getting out of here, you realize as your vision becomes black once again. 
You’re losing a lot of blood. You know that. You can feel it when noise wakes you up and your eyelids feel like lead. All the noise is muffled, as if you’re underwater. Frankly it feels like you are. It would be so easy to let the waves of darkness just wash over you right now, to let the water take you under. No, you can’t give up the fight and drown into unconsciousness just yet. You force yourself to stay awake. 
Barely getting your eyes open, bright red lights flood your vision. You imagine you’re still in bed, or at least asleep at your desk, with the alarm clock blaring, not here with blaster fire. Wait, blaster fire? You attempt to turn your head to the side to look, or to dodge, you aren’t to sure in your current state. The fast action causes you to feel like you’re spinning, or it might be the room, either way your eyes can’t focus on what is going on. Closing your eyes again to make it stop, you hear voices surrounding you. They sound so far away at the moment but finally, after what feels like ages, one voice sounds clearer. 
“Please help us. Help us get out of here. Her m-counts aren’t nearly as high as the child’s. They’re demanding more blood. She’s already lost 2 liters, I don’t know how much longer she can last.”
Child? They wanted to do this to a child? You’d choke down a sob if you could just thinking of that poor baby. What did he even say about what-counts? What the hell are those? All these questions are making your head spin more and more. Taking most of your energy to open your eyes, you’re met with a chrome stormtrooper trying to unbind you. Wait no, not a stormtrooper. You’ve heard stories about him and his people. What were they called? For the life of you, you can’t remember right now. 
“You’re going to need help getting her out of here,” you realize that the man in the whit coat was the one who spoke before and is now pleading with the metal man, “Please Mandalorian take me with you and I’ll help you get her out of here.” 
That’s it. He’s a Mandalorian. He gets your wrists free as the doctor takes the IV out. Pushing off the table to sit up, the world starts spinning again. You don’t even realize you’re about to hit the table again until the Mandalorian grabs your shoulders to keep you semi-upright. You hear some sort of static come from his helmet. “Fine.” he grumbles, “help me get her out of this thing.” 
With a flip of a switch, the rest of your body is free from restraints. Eager to get out of there, you swing your legs over the edge of the table, hands finding the arms of the Mandalorian with his hands still on your shoulders. Nauseous and woozy, you try to use the cold metal of his pauldron to ground yourself, to get the room to stop spinning. He can see you start to sway and wraps his arms around your waist as he lowers you from the table. Your feet hit the floor and black dots start to cloud your vision. Blood pounding in your ears trying to tell you to stop and lie back down. Muffled voices come from beside you again as you feel another arm wrap around you from the other side. Your feet dragging against the floor as both men on either side of you go towards the door. 
You feel the heavily armored man to your left let go. Eyes that are still fuzzy and unfocused sort of see him peak out the door with his blaster drawn. He leaves the room and all that can be heard is the pew pew pew of blaster fire. Vision start to come back the tiniest bit, you can see him standing in the door way waving his hand as to say Come on. 
The three of you hurry as fast as you can down the corridor to get to an exit. Lots of twists and turns, just for you all to come up at a dead end. So much for rescuing, you think to yourself as the doctor still holding you up, leans you up against a pillar as the two of them survey the situation. More of the Mandalorian assessing the situation and the doctor just frantically pacing back and forth. 
Sitting down now that the adrenaline of being kidnapped and “rescued” die down, you feel your breathing getting shallower and harder to breath. Eyelids getting heavy again. You just want to lay down and go to sleep, hoping that will fix things. Starting your descent from your upright position to close your eyes, two hands grab your shoulders and jerk you up. It takes a second to realize this modulated voice was talking you you. “Hey, you got to stay with me now,” he pleads, one hand going to the side of your face. Pain spreads across your features due to being struck there earlier, a bruise starting to form in its place. Pulling his hand away like seeing the your face contorted burned him, he continues, “I’m going to get you out of here, you just have to stay awake.” You open your mouth to speak, but your throat feels like it’s filled with sand from Tattooine, so you just weakly nod your head yes. “Okay good,” the shiny man says after letting out a deep breath. 
Still holding your shoulders, he helps you stand up and tells the doctor to take you and go further down the hall. Taking something small and circular out of his belt and placing it on the far wall, he speed walks back toward you two. It starts blinking red as his arms come and cage both of you in. Peeking over his shoulder, you see the wall disappear. Well explode, but one second ago it was there and now it’s not. When the explosion first rings in your ears, you reflexively reach out for the Mandalorian’s arm and feel him tense under your touch. 
When he deems it safe to move again, letting go of his arm, he hops over the rubble to the outside world, blaster drawn. Looking out you think it looks like a desert, but one you’ve never seen before. You have no idea where you are, even what planet you are on. You eyes go to where the chrome man is stalking towards. It seems he found two speeder bikes that the troopers use, sans the troopers. Your feet hit the gravel and you realize you aren’t wearing shoes anymore. How long was I out? You begin to question when you see a stormtrooper take aim at your rescuer. Right when he pulls the trigger, you reach your hand out and scream, “NO!” 
You could’ve sworn it was going to hit him. It should’ve hit him. But at the last second it bent and went in another direction. You knew stormtroopers were bad shots, but nothing like that has ever happened. The Mandalorian whips around at your scream and shoots the trooper down. He goes back to what he originally planned to do, but not without turning to you. You see his chest plate heave up and down a few times before turning back around. After a beat, the only sound you can hear is the Mandalorian starting up the speeders and your heartbeat pounding in your ears. The doctor helps guide you to the bikes and as you’re about to get on behind him, the Mandalorian picks you up bridal style and sits on his own respective bike. You make a noise of discontent at the sudden action and are then seated in front of him, yet again caged in by his arms with your legs draped over one of his. You can hear him breathing through the modulator as he states, “Just in case you pass out again. Can’t have you falling off the back of the bike.” You go to adjust how you are sitting when he takes off. 
Gasping in shock, you hug your arms around his neck with you head in his cowl as you take panicked breaths. His hand touches your back as you hear him shout over the noise of the engines, “Put your legs around me, you’re slipping off.” He holds your waist as you sling your right leg around and hook it with your left one behind his back. Not the position you thought you’d end up in as a blush creeps up on your face, but neither the less here you are. His hand lets go of your waist and back to the handlebars as he steers. 
Suddenly getting the feeling like you’re being followed, you say into his neck cowl, “Go left!” You don’t know why, but you just get a gut feeling to go that way. He follows your lead, not without a brief hesitation. The doctor follows on his speeder in the same direction. Finally looking up you see two stormtroopers in the distance. I wish their speeders would just stop or something, you plead with yourself and you think back to what happened with the blaster. Testing the waters, you unhook one of your hands from Mando’s neck and hold it out and... nothing. Okay focus, you close your eyes and picture their speeders stopping, or malfunctioning, or anything at this point. 
The sound of a crash comes ringing into your ears. Opening your eyes, you can see the troopers flip over their handlebars as if their engines just died. You slightly chuckle to yourself as your eyelids feel heavy again. You try to get them to stay open, but sleep just feels so much better at the moment. And with that, you’re out like a light. 
Din feels you go limp against him. His arm once again going to grab you by your waist to keep you in place. He wills his speeder to go faster, to get back to the Razor Crest sooner as he’s panicking thinking he somehow made the situation worse. He exposed you on the bike by having you sit like this. Your arms, legs, and head were all exposed to possible blaster fire. Have you been hit? He heard a crash but couldn’t look back without moving you more, risking leaving you more unprotected. His blame for himself spirals as his grip on you grows tighter. He can’t explain why he’s so distraught over a stranger, but still every time he blinks, he swears he sees back on that table. The next time he swears he sees his son on that very table again. First he gave the kid up to those people, now he didn’t finish Gideon off and let you, an innocent stranger who he is now clutching onto for dear life, get in the crossfire. Too many people have gotten hurt because of this. Because of him. He needs to make it right. 
Finally Din and Dr. Pershing arrive at the Razor Crest where Din is already lowering the hatch and carrying you in. Kicking some crates together, he gently lowers you down onto this makeshift bed. He uses his thermal setting to see your body temperature, to see how you are recovering from the blood loss. He isn’t thrilled to see it still low, you were getting your energy back slowly before, along with more body heat, bit not enough to Din’s liking. Turning his helmet to Pershing, the doctor says, “She’s going to need more blood.” Din, already standing ready to run out and get some, not even knowing where or how to do  that, is stopped by Pershing telling him that he’ll go get it, that it would look less suspicious. Agreeing, Din sits by your side while using his comm-link to tell Greef that he could bring Grogu back to the ship. How Din always finds someone to babysit still surprises him. 
You wake up with a start. Eyes not yet adjusted to the lights overhead. Looking down you can see an IV in your arm again. Now towards the side, you can see the same doctor from before asleep up against a wall. Please tell me it wasn’t a dream, tears well up in your eyes as you think you’ve made the whole thing up to cope. It wasn’t until you felt your hand come to wipe away your watery eyes that you realized it just might not be a dream. The IV isn’t taking blood this time, it’s giving it. 
Finally looking around, you realize you’re on a ship that feels like it’s moving. Confused by this, you try and sit up. Not nearly as dizzy as before, you slowly swing your legs off the wooden crates you’re lying on. Noticing your still barefoot as a chill gets sent up to your spine by the cold metal floor, you grab your IV bag off what appears to be just a hook poorly attached to the ceiling. You venture around the small area of the ship, noticing there isn’t a lot besides these boxes and what appears to be two storage type of units. You don’t even tempt to look in, too intrusive. You do however see a ladder going higher up on the ship. Taking the IV out and ripping a piece of your shirt off to wrap around your arm for pressure, so you can use both hands to climb, you start your ascent up. 
Once you finally reach the top, you hear cooing? Didn’t that doctor say something about a child earlier? Looking forward into the cockpit, you see your savior flying while looking to his right at one of the co-pilot chairs. Clearing your throat to get his attention, two little eyes peer at you from the seat. A bright smile appears on this little green things face and you can’t help but stifle a laugh because its ears are the size of his body. 
Distracted by this cute baby, you don’t notice the way the Mandalorian swivels his chair to face you. Finally looking at the man who saved you today, your breath hitches. You don’t know how to thank him for what he did, so you sort of just stand and stare for a second. He stands up and lightly grabs your arm with your homemade bandage on it. Tilting his helmet to the side you hear static coming from it. Did he just sigh at you? “You were supposed to keep it in your arm,” he finally states, with a tinge of annoyance. 
Eyes not wanting to meet the T of his visor, you direct your gaze to the ground. “ I jus- I-,” you stammer, not able to find the right words. “Thank you.” It comes out more hushed than you’d like, but he still hears you. He just gives you a slight nod before releasing his arm and heading back to his seat. All your muscles turn to stone as you stand there not knowing if you should leave or not, until he cocks his head towards the seat to his left. On shaky legs you find your way to the seat. Before even sitting down fully, the little green child is already trying to get into your lap. Giggling to yourself you let him up onto your lap. 
Once you do the strangest thing happens. You can feel what he’s thinking, his emotions, his past. How he was trained with the special abilities, much like the ones you just displayed before. How he was scared and in hiding until the man sitting in front of you found him. How he thinks of him as a father, his dad. Your chest tightens at that one. Still confused as to why the same people who wanted this child, Grogu, for his powers, also wanted you, you pull him to your chest to comfort you both. You finally speak up again and ask, “Did they want me because I might have the same abilities as this one?” You meant it to sound strong, but it just came out sounding weak. 
Without looking at you, the Mandalorian replies shortly after a pause, “Yes.” You swore you can see his grip tighten on the ships steering as he says that. Turning to the two of you finally, he says in the sincerest voice you’ve heard out of him, “They wont get to either of you again. I can promise you that.” Your chest swells at this statement and Grogu looks up at you with a smile as if he felt the way your heart fluttered. You wish you were the one wearing the helmet right now because you can feel your cheeks heat up. To ease the situation in the best way you can, awkwardly, you clear your throat before asking, “So where are we headed now?”
Swiveling back in his chair to hit a few buttons, you’re confused not knowing what they are supposed to do until he pulls up a map and points a place out. He tells you that he’s going to drop off Dr. Pershing at one of the squiggles you see and then try and figure it out from there. “So, I guess thats where I get off too?” You meant it to come out more as a statement than a question, but after what you just went through, you’d rather not be left to fend for youself. 
“If that’s what you want,” he finally utters after a while. “ But they’re not going to stop coming after you. Either of you. It might be safer for you to stay here with me, us.” The last part comes out so quiet, it’s almost as if he didn’t want you to hear, out of fear of your response. 
Trying to not answer too quickly, you take a deep breath and finally say, “Yes. I’d like that a lot.” With a curt nod, he turns back around. Warmth fills your chest yet again at this stranger’s kindness. It’s just because I have the same abilities as his child, you try to convince yourself. But deep down you’re hoping it’s more than that. The child in your lap grips your fingers tightly and coos, as if he’s trying to tell you your hopes might not be too far off. 
Oh, it’s going to be an interesting adventure with these two, you smile to yourself. 
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More Divaz confos
Mod: Round two of these, previously: link. There’s some interesting customer reviews in this batch (5 and 8) which may be useful to readers.
1.Vic3mage "the secret bjdivaz vip group is just pictures of boxes coming in and going out". Yeah, between the bitching about d0llshe, asking people to post on doa for them, dunking on ex-customers, posting pics of random doll parts that they can't identify which doll they're supposed to go with, whining about how little money they make, whining when ppl e-mail them, whining. Yeah, other than that it's just boxes, and alpacas u can buy off amazon anyway lol.
~Anonymous
2.The butthurt users crying and guilttripping under every Divaz confession who have never been seen before elsewhere on this blog are extremely unsuspicious and unproblematic and definitely unconnected to Divaz and unbiased in every possible way
/s
~Anonymous
3.idk shit abt bjd1vas but v1cemage i can absolutely tell you the shit about ch0o is 100% accurate, fucker's got a long, long history of being an awful little man that stretches well beyond his involvement in the doll community. between the two i'd still trust bjd1vas over ch00 ch00 the fool any day!
~Anonymous
4.The Z3st and Div4s thing is really silly and both entities were being shady but did they really have to take the DZ waiting room down with them? :( He had even made a separate thread about it......
~Anonymous 
5. RE: BJD Divaz
I’ve been a customer of BJD Divaz since they first started, when it was only run by Chart3rline. I even contacted other BJD companies trying to persuade them to work with Divaz as their US representative. Most declined because they didnt like D's commission fee, but I was able to persuade a few of them.
I asked them to purchase a doll off DOA because I couldnt afford the asking price, and while they did, I found out later that instead of agreeing to purchase the seller's price, they negotiated the price to be lower. This significantly cheaper price was not passed down to me. I paid the full price +the commission fee based on that full price. I am disappointed I was not told this. This is when I stopped viewing them as a "friend" and instead, as a business. I dont hold this against them, it’s context to what Im going to say later.
I’ve stopped purchasing from D after my recent order from them. This company usually takes 3 or less months to make a doll. I’ve ordered the doll from D and it took 11 months. They let me know it arrived to them in March and that it will be shipped soon, except it only shipped on July, and only after I sent them several "reminder" emails. Before people in the comments try to put the blame on me for not sending a reminder soon, please keep in mind that I acknowledged the email in March and confirmed everything and they keep stressing to not send them emails because they are busy, I’ve emailed once every month since. I’ve since switched to ACBJD and Ive been happy with communication and the dolls ordered. I imagine ACBJD gets the same amount of emails, but they dont berate their customers if they email more than once.
I regret when people wanted a D0llshe, but not deal with him, I always recommended D. I would warn people of ordering directly and instead go through D. They assured buyers they would be handling communication and all the efforts so they wouldnt worry, except they didn’t. A person that I’ve recommended D to, who surpassed 2 years, keeps messaging me for help because D wouldnt reply to their emails. She is respectful, sweet and a timid person, not a Karen. This person, emailed D without a reply so would email a week later, only to be told that their email would be pushed down to the bottom if emailed again. No response, so she goes to FB and IG, who both tell her to email because they arent the person running orders. Finally got a response that they would get their refund, after D0llshe sends D's payment, but minus the PP fees. 3 months later and theres no refund, only a promise of them getting it later. Why is the customer missing out on fees when they have no doll? Customer emails d0llshe and he says he cant offer refund, because they didn’t order through them, which is understandable, but when all options are out for a customer, do you blame them for chargebacks?
If anyone files a chargeback, D will be blacklisting them from every company they rep, as in blacklisting you from buying direct from those companies. I urge everyone who has negative experiences with D to email the companies they rep instead of venting on confession blogs, and writing your experiences on social media. Make it count and send letters to the companies they represent, and please provide proof because they will try to make you out to be a liar.
Speaking of, they made vague posts on cl0ver singing for charging paypal fees, and that they offer guarantees as an official dealer, except when offering refunds, to non delivered products I might add, they are keeping the fees, and offered no help with d0llshe, even before they ended their dealership with them. Someone on DOA was told to not email them unless the wait time surpassed 1.5 years. They are even so petty that they post screenshots with the full name and address (dox) of the customer on purpose and then delete it out a day later as if they just realized their "mistake".
Before you try to make excuses for them about the fires, keep in mind, I am dealing with a business. The lower price negotiation with the DOA sale, I am in no way obligated to give them a pass or treat them as a friend when they made it clear that our relationship is strictly business. Their issues, are not my issues. D0lk got dragged for not shipping in time, others, including artisans, got dragged for being so late with communication and sending back refunds for cancelled orders. Why does D get to be exempt?
The supporters are the worst part of this, because of instead of being honest so D can improve, they support them for being "real". For example, look how micemage words it, to make it seem like this criticism is from one person, when there are people on addicts who didn’t have good experience. Check the bjd dealers tag here, you will see the supporters in the comments going off on any and all criticism of D. Some have sane comments, but the majority are cult like and try to identify the person venting as if it’s one person. Addicts deletes threads with criticism asking people to instead direct it to their feedback group; which lets be honest, no one is going to do because its "not that bad", and most dont want to join a new group, which is mostly dead.
This is my first and last confession on D, I’ve emailed each company they rep and told them my experience as well as contacting the 3 month wait company, with screenshots of my order, how they handled it, and the excuse they used to put blame on the company for being so late (package arrived march to D, 4 months to be shipped is on D, not the company). I’m not using company or order details because I know they are petty enough to try to identify me and publicly shame me like they have to others. This and the threat of suing is why not many people like to go public with their experience. They just keep feedback neutral, move on and never deal with again.
~Anonymous
6. Listen, I can't take you seriously in regards to BJD!vas because you're posting on a confession blog. If you were serious, you would have posted in buyer beware groups, DoA reviews or the board to get things resolved, or you would have made a complaint to the BBB. And your language makes you come off more as someone with an agenda rather than someone who is trying to warn people. If shipping is the issue, stop buying with standard shipping and pay the extra price for express shipping. I saw one of you complain that it sat with them for 20 days; that's probably because you're not the only one and they more than likely have a queue to check and then ship out. Do mistakes happen? Yes, because we're human. I've been in this hobby for a few years now and it seems like most people know you're going to have to wait, sometimes even outside the expected wait time. And shipping something as big as a doll is a timely endeavor. I shouldn't have to say that.
My point is simply to stop complaining on an confession board and either take it to the places previously mentioned. Posting here behind the anonymous mask makes you sound like a petulant child who didn't get their way right away.
~Anonymous
7.My only issue with BJD Divaz is how I never get any updates. Every email, they tell me to join their facebook page for status updates. I dont have a FB and I dont want to create one. I bought my doll through their website, updates should be posted on their website, or they could send me an email. That isnt asking much.
~Anonymous
8. Since there seems to be a lot of either "completely negative everything sucks" or "everything was sunshine and rainbows" confessions about bjd!vaz I thought I'd chime in with a neutral review.
PROS
-They were always polite and professional in their emails, and gave me very detailed answers to my questions.
-I got exactly what I ordered, so no mix ups or missing parts or anything like that.
-I think them being forthcoming about personal issues (only one person on staff, illness, the flooding isue etc.) on social media is good, since it keeps customers updated as to why there might be delays.
-If you live in the US their shipping is very reasonable.
CONS
-Reply times were varied. Sometimes it could take over a week, sometimes a couple hours.
-My order took about 10mo which, when comparing to other people who ordered through the same company around the same time, was about 3x as long as if I bought it direct and 2x as long if I had gone through a different dealer. I get some of the waiting time is out of their control, but it was kind of ridiculous.
-They dont necessarily ship the same day they send you a tracking number. I wish they said something like, "Here's your tracking number, our pickup is Xday so it should start moving after that" just so I could be aware.
All in all no major complaints. I got my doll and all that. Their lone employee is clearly overwhelmed. I hope they hire another person, if only to give the one a break.
Truthfully, I most likely won't buy through them again. I'd rather pay the international shipping and go direct, than deal with the extensive wait time. I'd still recommend them to someone looking for a very long layaway, though. I paid in full, but if I had a 12mo layaway I would've never known they weren't ready to ship my doll until month 10.
~Anonymous
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artificialqueens · 3 years
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By Your Side (Biadore) - Candy Cane
A/N: just a oneshot based off of a prompt sent in that asked for bianca finding out abt adore’s onlyfans! its not quite that tbh but the words take me where they want to go lol please enjoy!! <3 theres some other things ive been trying to work on but its slow going rn as my cat is very sick and a lot of my time and energy has been dedicated to him, but i hope to get more out soon!
It’s only been a few months into quarantine when Adore finds herself on the phone with one of her oldest friends. Like, old physically not old as in how long they’ve known each other. But to be fair, there aren’t a ton of people she’s been friends with longer than she’s been friends with Bianca. Courtney and Darienne too for that matter.
She loves Bianca. Their friendship is something precious to her, and surprisingly this is only the second phone call they’ve had since quarantine has started. They talk basically every day through texts, and that’s on top of the hours they spend going back and forth in the ABCD group chat with Courtney and Darienne. The four of them have something special, all of them realize that. There’s just something specifically between her and Bianca that Adore’s never really been able to place her finger on.
Out of the blue this morning Bianca simply… called her. Adore spends a full moment staring at the CallerID trying to figure out where the fuck this is coming from. With an uncertain frown, she answers the phone, hanging upside down off the side of her bed of course.
“So… OnlyFans? Seriously?” Bianca asks incredulously, her voice crackling over the phone speaker.
What a way to start a conversation after not hearing each other’s voices for like a month! Even though Adore can’t see her face, she can practically hear the raised eyebrow.
“Fuck you,” Adore laughs, unable to help smiling at Bianca’s playful accusations.
“Not that I’m mad, but why fucking OnlyFans? Aren’t bitches doing podcasts now?”
“I’m bored, okay? There’s not a lot to do but drink and masturbate, and drinking hasn’t really been doing it for me lately. Plus, I gotta make money somehow,” Adore grumbles through an explanation, lifting herself up and sprawling out on her bed awkwardly.
“Do I need to set up an intervention? You know I will,” Bianca says with faux seriousness, “Seriously though, if you need some help…”
Adore frowns down at her phone. She hates pity, she hates unnecessary worry, and she definitely hates burdening people with her bullshit.
“B, I’m fine, I promise,” she says earnestly, “I guess I just… I miss you. A lot. And we can’t see each other right now and it fucking sucks and I’m really lonely-”
“Come over.”
“What? I can’t, B, we’re quarantined…”
“When’s the last time you left your apartment?”
“Uhh, I dunno, maybe a month ago?’ Adore answers, unsure of where Bianca is going with this.
“Okay, that’s well over two weeks. Come hang out with me for a few days, get some human interaction, I’ve been needing it myself. I haven’t gone out or seen anyone for a few weeks now,” Bianca admits, and Adore feels suddenly giddy.
It’s been so long since she’s seen someone, since she’s even gotten a hug, and she really wants to see Bianca…
“I’ll be there tomorrow morning,” Adore agrees, not even thinking twice about it.
Bianca is everything to her. This person was one of the first to really take her seriously, to really see something in her, and Adore doesn’t know where she’d be without her. Every time something goes wrong, her first instinct is to call Bianca. Everytime something amazing happens, her first instinct is to call Bianca. They’ll spend hours talking or texting just because and Adore wouldn’t have it any other way.
They are as good together as PB&J, or peanut butter and celery, or peanut butter and pretzels… And Adore realizes she is feeling very snacky, specifically for peanut butter. With a sigh she rolls off her bed to get a snack before she starts packing for the next week.
The point is Adore loves Bianca, and Danny loves Roy. Sure maybe it’s in a different way than they should, or even once did, but it can’t be helped. It can be hidden, though. And Danny is more than fine with hiding this secret, as long as they get to have Roy in their life at all. He’s more than what Danny should ever even hope for, and yet a part of them can’t help but hope.
After spending so much time apart, Danny knows it’ll be harder now than ever to hide these feelings they’ve been harboring for Roy. They’ll try though, because sometimes the thought of this man loving them back is all that keeps them going.
Danny arrives at Roy’s beautiful new house in Palm Springs at nearly noon the next day. Which, to be fair, is very much the morning for Danny. They even woke up early to make the trip! …If ten a.m. counts as early in any book except their own.
Roy is already standing out in the driveway waiting for Danny when they get there, his arms spread wide for a hug the second Danny gets out of their car. The younger practically rocket launches themself into his arms, clinging tight to him as they savor the first hug they’ve gotten in such a long fucking time. Danny can’t help the tears that fall at finally having such warm, loving human contact, especially from this person.
They hold onto each other as tight as they can, each beyond glad to have each other’s trust in such unreliable times. Being alone for so long had hit Roy hard too. Alcohol and binge watching can really only do so much, and he’s genuinely been feeling lonely being stuck in one spot for so long. The dogs help some, but at the end of the day it really doesn’t replace human interaction, no matter how hard he wishes it did.
“I missed you, baby girl,” Roy says, and Danny can almost hear his voice waver.
“I missed you too,” Danny whispers, trying and failing to hold back a sob.
They leave Danny’s bag in the car for now, much more eager to go sit down and enjoy each other’s company. The dogs bombard the two of them the second Danny crosses the threshold, the enby leaning instantly down to kiss and coo at the babies and Roy can’t help grinning widely at the sight. He loves his babies, and he loves his baby girl.
They spend the afternoon talking and laughing and playing with the dogs. Danny clearly gets some ideas about the golf cart, and Roy is suddenly excited about the upcoming few days. It’s been a while since either of them have really had something to look forward to.
“Alright, I still need you to explain this OnlyFans thing to me,” Roy says with a smirk a few hours later, after they’ve gotten properly settled in on the couch together with the dogs.
Danny’s eyes go wide with slight panic, “Okay, grandpa, it’s like uhhh, Patreon but-”
“No, no, no!” Roy laughs, “I know what it is, I mean why that? Why not literally anything else?”
“First of all, I am sexy. Second of all, I spent a lot of time not making money masturbating, which is a fucking shame because as I said before I am sexy.”
They both crack up at that, giggling like idiots on Roy’s couch, the puppies quickly joining in, yipping at them to be a part of the excitement.
“Awww, do you two think I’m funny?” Danny coos, picking Dede up and cuddling the pup close, “Your daddy doesn’t think I’m funny!”
Roy snorts, “You’ve certainly picked up a thing or two from me.”
“Like how to be a bitter old hermit!” Danny grins sweetly.
“Exactly,” Roy laughs.
“So if I ask really nicely will this bitter old hermit make me food?” Danny asks, batting their eyelashes pleadingly.
“My original plan was to let you starve to death while you were here, but since you’re asking nicely…” Roy says teasingly, feeling an odd sense of satisfaction at the way the younger throws their head back with laughter.
Late that night, after a long night of talking and watching TV and a decent dinner, they curl up into bed together. At one point they both needed to at least be tipsy to do that, but nowadays that’s just overkill. They have progressed well beyond that point of friendship, though Roy sometimes still likes to put on a show of being annoyed, if only because of the way Danny pouts and rolls their eyes.
Tonight he just holds the thick comforter up so Danny can slide in easily with him, he’s not really interested in making either of them wait longer than they already have for cuddles. In seconds the two are holding each other tight, savoring the touch. As Roy lays there, holding Danny like the younger is his lifeline, he starts to think about the time they’ve known each other. All the ups, downs, and side-to-sides… Danny has grown up a lot over the years they’ve been friends, and it’s hard to deny that it’s changed Roy’s feelings for them.
Once his feelings to the younger were almost motherly, but now it’s closer to attraction. It’s kind of weird, at the least it’s very fucked up. Roy wants to just give in to the feelings, but he can’t. Not when he has no way of gaging Danny’s feelings for him. He can live with this secret, he’s not sure he can live without Danny’s friendship.
Danny interrupts his thoughts, their voice small and curious, “Why were you so invested in my OnlyFans?”
“Bitch, I’m trying to sleep here,” Roy groans.
“No, seriously,” Danny pouts, sitting up in bed and looking down at Roy. The moonlight streaming in from the window highlights the enby perfectly, and Roy curses his luck.
“I don’t want you renting yourself out on the corner like Bunny, now get back to sleep you dumb slut,” Roy says with all of his usual teasing heat.
Danny pouts though, clearly not satisfied, “But…”
“Sleep. Now.” Roy demands, reaching up to tug them back under the covers. Danny reluctantly gives in, and snuggles close to Roy.
Just as Roy is about to fall asleep, Danny’s voice has his eyes flying open.
“Roy?”
“What?”
“I love you,” Danny whispers.
Roy’s heart melts a little at that, “I love you too, Danny.”
Danny bites their lip nervously, “I mean like… I think…”
Roy’s heart starts to beat faster in his chest. Surely they couldn’t mean…
“You think…?” Roy asks, hoping that despite it all this person is about to say what he thinks they are.
“I think I might be… in love,” Danny says, their voice quiet and timid in a way Roy hasn’t heard in a very long time, “With you.”
This time Roy is the one to sit up in bed, staring down at Danny with pure infatuation. Those words echo around his ears, his chest, his very soul, and before he even realizes what he’s doing he’s leaning down to capture Danny’s lips in a kiss.
His lips against theirs feels so undeniably right. Their lips move slowly against each other, Danny brings a hand around to cup the back of Roy’s neck and in that moment nothing is wrong in their own little world. In that moment it’s just them and the moonlight. He thinks that he could live forever in this moment and never need anything else.
They break apart much too soon for either of their tastes, and Roy stares into those pretty eyes and murmurs, “I think I love you too.”
Danny surges forward for another kiss, this one much more desperate than the last. It’s a hot, heavy kiss that ends with Roy flat against the bed and both of Danny’s hands cupping his face as they explore each other. It’s like no kiss either of them have had before, with so many years of emotion and uncertainty between them it’s intense. Bianca and Adore have drunkenly kissed before, but this absolutely cannot compare. Danny whimpers pathetically against Roy, their hips grinding down against Roy’s thigh.
Roy lets out a shaky breath and grips at the enby’s barely covered ass. From the way Danny is squirming and moaning after only a little contact, Roy knows it’s been a while since Danny has been with someone like this. Roy hasn’t been able to get laid in a while either, rendering them both more than eager for this. Neither of them have a sexual partner in their circles right now, except maybe each other. Just this morning that would’ve been an absurd thought, and now it’s simply what makes sense.
Both of them need sexual fulfillment as much as they need emotional fulfillment, and even the thought of providing it for each other is thrilling. Roy grabs Danny’s bottom lip roughly between his teeth, sucking on it as he rubs his hands underneath Danny’s oversized tank top and over their skin. Danny whines and whimpers so deliciously in response, and Roy loves it.
Roy and Danny pull the little clothing that is off one another, each soaking in the familiar sight of the other being completely exposed. It’s nowhere near the first time they’ve seen each other like this, but it’s another one of those things where it’s simply different this time around. Because now it’s been established they love each other as much more than just friends.
Danny sucks hickeys along Roy’s collarbone, moaning roughly as Roy twists their nipples harshly, their bodies so close and warm wrapped up tight together.
“Think… Think I’m gonna get my nipples pierced,” Danny giggles breathlessly before it’s cut off in a moan of sheer pleasure when Roy pinches them even harder.
“Oh really? You’ve done a lot of slutty things, baby girl, but that is definitely up there,” Roy smirks.
Danny smiles innocently, “It would only make your job easier.”
“What? This job?” Roy asks teasingly, then trails his fingers down Danny’s stomach so they ghost over the enby’s half-hard cock.
Danny gasps, and Roy takes the opportunity to press his lips against theirs all over again, sucking their tongue into his mouth as he teases their cock. They moan and whine and squirm, their fingers gripping and squeezing at the flesh of Roy’s back frantically in response. Roy knows that that’s going to leave a mark, despite the fact that their nails are usually kept short. He doesn’t mind though, in fact it makes him harder knowing that he’s the reason Danny is reacting like this.
Danny’s head falls back against the pillow, feeling heat rush to their cheeks upon seeing the smouldering look in Roy’s eyes as they stare up at him. He’s so fucking gorgeous, all his sharpness and softness in just the right places.
“Tell me what you want,” Roy whispers roughly.
Danny inhales shakily, “Want- Wanna feel you-”
“What do you want me to do to you, Danny? Use your words…”
“Fuck me, oh God please just fuck me, holy shit,” Danny begs, squeezing their eyes shut tight and squirming underneath Roy’s tight hold.
“Shh, that’s so good, thank you,” Roy murmurs, caressing Danny’s cheek, “I’m going to fuck you so hard.”
And Danny just moans. They’ve wanted this from Roy for so long, and so many years were wasted convincing themself otherwise that this really feels like a fucking dream come true. It’s their own little fairytale, just for the two of them. Danny gets to live this fantasy with Roy, and that thought alone is almost more mind blowing than the idea of getting rammed until they can’t remember their own name.
Roy leans across to riffle through the nightstand, and turns back to Danny with lube, a condom, and a devious grin on his face. Minutes later, Danny is a whimpering, begging mess just from two of Roy’s fingers stretching them open. Roy is clearly enjoying it, whispering dirty things in their ear as he slowly tortures them with his fingers. When he slides in a third finger, Danny lets out the filthiest, most inhuman sound Roy has ever heard.
“You are just so fucking needy,” Roy says lowly, pulling out his fingers and quickly rolling the condom on.
Danny nods feverently, their eager words of agreement being almost incomprehensible. Roy grabs their tiny hips in his large hands and slides himself in. That moment is almost pure magic, the connection that had been simmering for so many years finally coming to a boil. Danny sobs from the mix of emotion and sheer pleasure, throwing their head back and forth, panting and begging for more while Roy closes his eyes and takes it all in.
Danny is incredibly warm and tight around him, and after a minute he begins to thrust shallowly, making Danny’s mindless babbling slur together. His thrusts quickly become harsher, aiming specifically for Danny’s spot, his grip on them tightens and he grabs the enby’s cock and starts to lavish it with some much needed attention.
“OhGodohGodohGodoh-” Danny rambles, pressing their face into the juncture of Roy’s neck and collarbone, inhaling his comforting, familiar scent, “So good, feels so good, don’t stop please don’t stop.”
“I’m not going to stop, shh, I’ve got you, fuck you’re so good,” Roy groans in response, his thrusts speeding up and his fingers around Danny’s cock tightening, “Are you about to cum for me? Huh?”
“Yes, fuck,” Danny rasps, “Yes yes gonna cum Roy please let me cum I’m gonna- gonna-”
Roy pumps his hand a few more times and whispers right in Danny’s ear, “Cum for me like a good girl.”
And Danny is a gonner. They moan high and long, their hips twitch rapidly and their whole body shakes with the force of their orgasm, ropes of cum covering Roy’s hand and both of their abdomens.
Danny practically goes limp in Roy’s hold, and just a few thrusts later Roy is undone as well, unable to help thrusting even harder and deeper into Danny’s body as he does. He falls on top of Danny, breathing heavy and ragged, and they hold each other tight. Danny’s arms still wrapped around Roy’s back when he carefully rolls them onto their sides so that they’re facing each other, nearly nose to nose. He gingerly pulls out of Danny, ties the condom, and throws it into the bin that he knows is next to the bed.
Roy cups their chin with his clean hand and stares into their dazed, half-lidded eyes. Danny blinks slowly, the afterglow beginning to wear off.
“I can’t believe it took us seven years,” Danny murmurs, reaching up to thread their fingers through Roy’s currently long hair.
“It was worth the wait,” Roy smiles softly, “And now we have the rest of our lives.”
“Yeah,” Danny whispers, “I get the rest of my life with you.”
Because for Roy and Danny it’s nowhere near over. For them it’s all only just begun.
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cherrysha · 4 years
Text
Advice
Okayyyy so its been a minute, i know i know.. but I’m back! oof ive been feeling like my writing is pretentious and shtewpid so i write smthn and it stays in the drafts. But Im done with that! Theres a lot of stuff I cant wait to share with yall!
as for this piece, idk what it is. theres no angst or anything... id just describe it as bros being dudes. kinda boring ngl but i couldnt get it outta my head.
Summary: Nobu asks his oldest friend for advice.
Word count: 818
My request are open atm
Warnings: Smoking? allusions to death, cursing
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“What do you get a girl when you want her to like you?” Nobu asks.
 They’d been walking for what felt like ages, but it seemed as though the forest had swallowed them whole. The canopy above was almost impenetrable by sunlight, only faint trickles making their way through. “What?” And Uvo’s dead serious. Who the fuck thought about something that stupid? Surely not him, and surely no one he knew.
“Yeah.. like do you get her flowers or somethin’?” And it’s enough to make Uvo stop walking. “Did I hit you too fuckin’ hard in our session today?” He scoffs. There an indignant frown on Nobu’s face that confuses the bigger spider even more. With a shake of his head, Uvo slowly continues his earlier pace on the path.
“You must be losing your mind. Why the fuck would you care?”Nobunaga sighs, muttering something about Uvo being a meathead before fiddling with the pommel of his katana. 
Their pace is lazy, there’s no rush, if anything they’d get to their destination earlier than they needed to be. Even though he’d never admit it, Nobu found comfort in the fact that Uvo always wanted to be on time. It meant that he never really had to pay attention.
After an hour of Nobu’s perceived sulking, or rather just his mind trying to work out how exactly to go about this, Uvo lets out a deep sigh. He throws his hands up, eyebrows raised as he asks the smaller man “Why are you even thinking about this? You’re a spider, right? Just fuckin take what you want” “It’s not that easy. I want her to like me you big jughead-“ “You want her right? Then just fuckin take her and worry about that shit later! It IS that easy” Nobunaga furrows his brow, the choice even more unclear with Uvo’s suggestion. “If you’re so worried about what she thinks then how d’you think she’s gunna react when she finds out who you are?” Uvo growls, taking a step closer as if invading Nobu’s personal space will force some sense into him. And this time It’s Nobu’s turn to get loud. “I didn’t get that far!” He pinches the bridge of his nose before breathing again. “Tsk... you know I’m right Nobu.” He grunts, the last part of his sentence is mumbled, as if he’s over the conversation but still has much more to say on the subject. “Like we’d get flowers and chocolate and go on fuckin dates. You know that’s stupid.” Nobu drops it for the time being. It was clear he wasn’t going to find any help from his partner.
The path stretches out further in front of them. What little light they had now dwindling into nothing, until their eyes make out the moonbeams that cast dark shadows across the trail. If Uvo had calculated it right, they’d reach the meetup spot by noon tomorrow if they kept walking at this pace. A day early, but enough time to get some quality sleep before the heist. 
After a few more hours, He offers Nobu a chance to rest. Uvo’s back leaned up against a tree on the side of the road, he watches the other man’s cigarette smoke drift through the tree branches.
“If you're still distracted during the heist, I will kill you myself.” It’s a threat that holds a sliver of truth, Nobunaga knows, but he scoffs anyway.
Pinching the lit cigarette between his pursed lips, he fiddles with the tie holding his hair up. After a few seconds it finally comes loose, his hair cascading onto his shoulders. Jet black, it looks as if the darkness surrounding them has chosen to swallow him whole.
“I’d like to see you try.”
And it gets the reaction he wants. Uvo’s lips curl into one of his manic smiles, one of the ones that promise he’s up to no good.
“I can do it right now if you're in such a rush to die.” 
Nobu smiles at that. His friend was never one to turn down a challenge. “I’d rather wait a few days. Then we’ll have an audience.” Uvo’s laugh is booming, shaking the tree behind him with the sheer energy of it. With a push Nobunaga is on his feet again, cigarette butt still in his mouth as he speaks to Uvo.
“Get up, we’re going to be late if we keep taking this many breaks.”
“Alright, alright.” The man huffs, smile still plastered on his face.
In truth Nobu doesn’t care what time they end up making it to their destination, but he knows that Uvo does. 
And even though he hated to admit it, but the beast of a man was right. He didn’t have time to think about something so trivial when he had troupe business to focus on. He had to keep his mind sharp. The path still stretches miles ahead of them, and even though he’s still uncertain, Uvo has somehow managed to calm him. After all, he was right. Spiders took what they wanted.
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solange-lol · 4 years
Note
hiii in celebration of AUctober, what are some of your fav solangelo AUs?
Anonymous said to solange-lol:
Hi! Kinda a random question: do you have any favorite riordanverse fanfics that you’d suggest reading? I’m looking for ones to read, but I’ve been having trouble finding new ones! Thanks!
rec list #1 | rec list #2
all recs can be found under the tag ‘lizs solangelo fic recs’ on my blog!
technically its past auctober now, but better late then never to drop my third solangelo rec list!! especially considering the state of the world rn ... lets just say its a celebration of me actually participating in sw for the first time in a while
rec under cut as always!! its not all aus but its the count that thots
Find Another Place to Stay by @unwieldyink
personally i think breakup fics are incredibly underrated, and i also think annie is incredibly underrated, so enjoy ur little cry if you read this one (tw // violence in this one)
Hershey’s kiss by @unwieldyink
we love a godswap!! it’s actually been a while since ive read this one and i reread this while making this rec list and can i just say that zeus!nico and hermes!will are both such valid concepts and this just has a rly good dynamic to it
Actors by @buoyantsaturn
i could talk about this fic for hours but lets just say ao3 has told me ive visted this fic 40 times. im not kidding. fake dating is just a godtier trope
start of something new by jinniefic
if you know me, you know that i fricken LOVE high school musical, and this is literally just the start of the first movie but solangelo and honestly a little more iconic please read even if ur not a hsm fan
paper/plastic by @rosyredlipstick
the fact that this is from 2018 and took this long to get into my rec list is tragic because i think about this fic a lot... a lot. mortal au. very chill, strangers to lovers, very good vibes, will be rereading soon (everything rosy writes is amazing we already knew this)
10:37pm by @buoyantsaturn
surprise another cj fic! fun fact she debated with us for a good half hour about what to title this fic so go read it so you can tell her you like the name (and the fic itself... its a very good fic) (tw // alchohol and drug use for this one)
Sunflower by ChiseHatori
3 days in the infirmary is probably the easiest trope u can find in the solangelo tag but i have to say this one really made me soft just bc it feels a lot more in character than some of the others ive read, and it basically picks up right where they ended in the books
Will You, or Will You Not? by @thebluesideofmyworld
marriage fics... also very soft. just boys bein boys. dual engagements. mortal au. all that good stuff vv soft i loved it
let your heart win by @justanothervampiregirl
this one is short but its also probably one of the most in character fics ive ever read and i really like this style of writing mixed with canon compliance so :)
The Magic of Naomi Solace by Sweetymomo
naomi solace, underratted legend. i aspire to have her relationship with will. lots of familial background if you like that!! and its set at a bnb!!
forget all the shooting stars and silver moons by itotallyreadthatbook
when i saw this in the tag i was SO excited bc we love high school aus here and it was!! very good indeed!! this trope is one ive never seen before and i recommend 10/10 good banter
They won’t always live by Phantomxlegend
will overworking himself and coping with loss always makes me :(( so if ur okay with some will angst then buckle up
“I am fully capable of kicking your ass” by @unwieldyink
i remember i saw the email notification for this one and immediately was like yup absolutely im in and it 100% lives up to its title we love capture the flag solangelo
the night we met by peachyytomlinson
a lil ooc but also very angsty and did make me emotional when i read this late at night. i think i wrote something similar a while back but i just aaaaa will angst man
“look how hard i can cry FWSHHH”  by @buoyantsaturn
call me biased bc i like to claim that i originated the idea of demeter!will and cj dedicated this fic to me but like BRO its so soft and i love it here nico leave the plants along challenge failed
femboy hooters, or the time percy jackson failed to keep a secret by luciethebean
its all fun and games until the fic turns out to genuinely be really good. like, yes the title is exactly what you think it is but it doesnt matter bc its so fricken well written im^@*#&(*)($_$#&^@$(@*)* yeah
Of Ties and Significant Annoyances by seokjinvilla (@thechampagnecocainegasoline)
we dont support jkr in this household but what we do support is this bc this plot is genius and i love it
everything’s going swimmingly by tsunamiroll (@catboy-ethan)
fun fact i posed the idea of a sports/team prompt to the sw mod crew literally just so someone would pull through and write a swim au and ethan DID without even knowing. i love them and their writing style is so !!!! please read it
when you smile (the whole world stops) by tsunamiroll (@catboy-ethan)
another ethan fic!! this is the perfect fic for a rough day where u just want some cuddles bc thats literally the plot of the fic. i love this one with my entire heart its very fluffy 10/10 do reccomend
pumpkin spice (i hate it, it's not nice) (ok maybe it's a little nice) by tsunamiroll (@catboy-ethan)
ethan fic part 3!! bc i binge read these all in one night!! literally again their writing style is so amazing and the witty banter!!!! also we love a retail bookstore au 
Burnt Plastic (and Other Bad Ideas) by More_of_This
so this one isnt exactly romantically solangelo but it is hilarious in my opinion and i absolutely adore well written college aus and while i know nothing about college this fic is so funny to me (if you read the tags there is, in fact, a raccoon involved) (tw // drinking for this one)
all because you kissed me goodnight by @buoyantsaturn
i have been WAITING for a mortal counselors au and im sure theres some out there already but y’all already know im a cj stan! lots of slowburn, friends to lovers, coworkers, all the good stuff (and i named this one and offered cj a lot of materials from my own camp so this one especially hits!! i reccomend for those good ol summer vibes!!) (tw // drinking for this one)
Waiting With You by @buoyantsaturn
oh boy buckle up if u want an angst ride because this fic tore me apart. i keep threatning cj with “dont pull another waiting with you”. that being said, very much feels like a movie while youre reading it, very fluffy in the middle, we love mutual pining. 
Little Italian Boy by @buoyantsaturn
stream little italian boy by grace gilmore. youll get it. thats it.
The Clues by @thebluesideofmyworld
secret dating when done well is legit one of my favorite tropes of all time and this!!! this!!!!!!!!! its outsiders perspective also which is another one of my favorite tropes, and just little views on nicos life and i love it
So Come On, Talk it Out (your voice brought me back from the dead) by @buoyantsaturn
will solace, sponsered by kitkats, cj edition
no but if you read tower of nero you’ll really like this missing pieces pre-ton fic this is a really soft little fic with a bunch of easter eggs from the book in it, so i highly recommend! if you havent read ton yet and are still avoiding spoilers, come back to this one!
reaching for the sun (you, you, you) by moonswords (@tortadelimao)
i just read this one about 2 hours ago for the first time and i am Still thinking about it. its like the getting together that i literally feel like is canon and the vibes are Immaculate (also william “what about me looks straight” solace)
“Are we on a date right now?” by @unwieldyink
overworked will, nico helping out in the infirmary, first dates & hikes, canon compliant, we love to see it (also its an annie fic so ur required by law to read it)
Outrunning karma by Phantomxlgend 
more will angst! featuring angry overworked will!
Everlasting Ring by minyoongurt (@blueblackslowtown)
i was Very excited when i read the summary of this one, and i think minyoongurt did a really good job!! healer will, injured nico, the whole dynamic. also i love the idea of nico only knowing “thank you” “go away” and “fuck you” in sign language. im pretty sure thats canon
The Little Thing by Rainbow_Mess
i belive this is also a pre-toa fic thats just exploring all the stuff we found out about will in ton and its very short and sweet :)
and of course, a few of my recent works for your consideration
who is he (and what is he to you?)
just doing my silly little tasks
i don’t need three bars to tell me we’re meant to connect
truly, madly, deeply
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Note
Toko! I was thinking of creating an ask the character blog for IDV or Genshin Impact and wanted a few tips on how to start off. Anything you can share?
ey yo my dude!! thank you so much for this question, now im lowkey tempted (again) to make a genshin ask blog sjadhlkshgkahshglsaj anyway my 1.5 cents is under the cut, yall know how much i talk here HAHAHAHAH
uhhhhhh so i guess we start with picking a character u really Vibe with tm? I KNOW THIS SOUNDS LIKE COMMON SENSE BUT LIKE ive been considering making a genshin ask blog for a while now but i never really got to it cos i couldnt really decide on a character (plus the fact that their outfits are. so intricate. is also a hmm since i try to follow details to a t) (at first i wanted to do zhongli, but i feel like to be able to muse him well u need to know the lore super super well, which i dont n im too lazy to research on that aha. n u know how much i respect characterizations, especially for such a complex character like him. i also considered xiangling for a period of time mostly for guoba but also like i have 2+1 blogs here n having one more might not be a very good idea aha) (as for aesop he was my Hyperfixation Character tm also cos i looked at his kit n went Yep i could work with this. probably)
so assuming ur not a dumbass like me n u kinda know who u wanna pick, id actually say to snoop around here for other ask blogs n kinda get a feel of the... scene? is that the word? or like u know, other blogs that u can potentially vibe with. ive run a couple of ask blogs before this current one (both that have died for different reasons) n from my experience interacting with other blogs (if theyre okay with it, i think most should be) is pretty fun. it also kinda helps get ur blog around to other ppl on other blogs so they can go Oh whats this cool shit n check u out, n its also a reason why we kinda reblog promo posts for other blogs (also cos we’re always excited when someone new comes on, its really the more the merrier. we see all :eyes:). interacting with other blogs is also an option when ur inbox is looking real roomy too
another reason why i havent exactly done a genshin blog is that idk i cant actually seem to find genshin ask blogs around (i have seen rp blogs, or those that answer asks with mostly text instead of art, but thats. not my thing since i hate my own writing aha) (i did find one aether blog some time ago, but for some reason i hardly see them around anymore??? idk man i might be wrong). its not like im trying super hard to find them ask blogs, so im sure they exist out there (hopefully?? im not sure but im being optimistic). i mean theres nothing wrong with just starting an ask blog without others around, but for me i do find a difference when i interact with other ask blogs n when i dont, n i prefer when theres others to have fun with (unfortunately i couldnt find any ask blogs to interact with in my previous fandom. i tried, but the blogs i approached seemed to go inactive shortly afterwards...) plus u get to meet friends that way too :D (i made a lot of friends via idv askblogs n its really been a joy vibing with others)
as for the idv scene. gestures around me. unfortunately there are a lot of ask blogs that arent that active anymore, but theres still some of us who are alive n kicking empty inboxes, n im sure everyone would love to see a new face around. winks at u. also there seems to be a lot more blogs popping up lately, which is really heartening to see.
then u kinda just. make ur blog? n a starting introduction post so ppl can reblog it n spread the word XD n yay u have a blog i guess??? XD
i gotta say tho. dont expect ur blog to take off immediately (especially for smaller fandoms like idv, tvbh i didnt think my blog would even get half this far when i started cos of how non existent idv tumblr seemed to be) n ur inbox will probably be looking pretty empty a lot of the time (or at least filled with some that u havent quite thought of how to reply to yet aha) (but also like empty inboxes happen pretty often, im sure most of us here have experienced this problem)
in the case of the first ask blog i ever started, it never really took off at all. ngl it was kind of demoralizing n depressing but to be fair i had picked one of the more obscure characters in the series, so obscure that many ppl in the fandom would have never heard of this character before. if u wanted to know, i took a character that only appeared in the 2nd musical of the series, who also made a very brief cameo in the manga to acknowledge his existence within that universe. thats how obscure my character was, but i went with him purely because he was my favourite character. i will say though i did enjoy it while it lasted n i learnt a lot from the experience, n i think thats whats important really.
i guess this kinda leads on (not really but let me digress) to the whole uhhhh thing where if u choose a more popular character, u get more attention. which is fine i guess? if u really vibe with the character, i mean theyre popular for a reason. n choosing a more popular fandom (like genshin) would objectively also get u more viewers n numbers. but like honestly i believe that ask blogs are meant for u to have fun with, n like trying to get popular gets tiring pretty fast (this shouldnt be like a main goal, but u know sometimes u subconsciously also want that gucci follower count n bomb ass notes or something. i used to be guilty of this until i realized it isnt worth it) especially if ur not enjoying yourself in the process. (case in point: my previous fandom was considerably larger n my blog got about 700 followers within a year or so, but it got very tiring n stressful to maintain after my interest in it died, n no one was really interacting with the blog even though i tried which kinda made it even more depressing despite the so called success n popularity of the blog)
anyway on a less serious note, theres a lot of fun stuff u can do with the ask blog, like some ask blogs have really fancy tags that i really like n try to do but also like not really HAHAHAHA. i kinda just channel what i want to see in an ask blog into my own ask blogs (good art is one, i try very hard for it to be good :,DD another is characterization, n others is just extra miscellaneous arts n stuffs like au ideas or memes. these are also somethings u could work on during ask box downtimes perhaps)
uhhh another side thing is like a posting schedule i guess? like ppl would be more likely to interact (i think) if ur blog is relatively active, n this is usually determined by the last post u made (i think XD). but like generally for blog maintenence id say try to kinda find a frequency that ur comfortable with?? cos i know my once a day posting is kinda insane if i wasnt so hyperfixated on all of this n fight the urge to dump all ur replies when u finish them XD (though ive seen some blogs do that n they do it pretty frequently so its pretty nice to know once u see their post u can spend some time going through the latest batch of posts XD) the queue function is pretty useful here even though i truthfully have never really used it, i kinda just post from my drafts really but it also helps to space out ur content to seem somewhat active especially when u dont have the time to be working on replies sometimes. i hope u know what im trying to say here aha
ANYWAY that was like my 1.5 cents cos i dont even think its worth 2 cents HAHAHAHAH these are just my thoughts from running all my blogs up till now, some that are still running n the others that have just died a natural death. i wouldnt actually delete them (theyre still around actually XD) cos theyre kinda like archives n i can look back at what i did last time. cos ngl i made some high quality stuff back then, n i dont even know how i managed to do that aldhflhdsgk. also ppl do look at archive blogs every now n then for the content thats there yknow
BUT YES anyway if u do decide to join the idv ask blogs hmu, ill be sure to give u a lil shoutout here. winks
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whatiwillsay · 3 years
Note
hi cam. loved hanging here in your tumbler and podcast. and i love how you stan dianna and taylor. me too i love them both. i just want to share my idea about swiftgron.. you dont have to post this.. i just want to reach out to you, coz i know how much you love them..
this is crazy, i know, but taylor is so good at this.. ive been speculating that she and dianna been back together since 2016 but not as solid as it is, dianna is married but they patching things up.they are trying to make it work, until 2018, thats the time dianna got approved by taylors team (yup she got the approval) (thanks tree)... when dianna get divorce as she sould, thats the time theyve been ofc together as solid as rock..
so about karlie and lily and other girls.. karlie is the rebound/PR.. karlie needs taylor to boost her image for her bf josh family, as a return, she will be baited on some taylor songs, taylor knew she have a lot of gaylor fans so to protect her relationship with dianna she used karlie, taylor trusted karlie.. the bait and switch started on reputation, until lover.. when karlie fall out, lily came in (for destruction purposes). the daisy, gold, big sur-everything thats dianna. its all about dianna. when lover came out, dianna is helping taylor on some ideas about mv even in the album, they are helping each other... they have plan to come out during the lover fest. she hinted it when she release the babe.. babe is dianna, and dianna always calls taylor bluff coz she is over dramatic.
not until the masters heist happened, the plan was changed, thats the reason why taylor was very devastated during the last quarter of 2019. if the masters heist never happen it will be a circus when they came out coz a lot of celebrities are planning to back them up, i mean they will also come out so that it will not only taylor will be on hot sit, its a great plan (brie is one of them).. but didnt happen..
and so the folklore and evermore, this is the day when all my questions have been answered, especially during the long pond session.. folklore is dianna's expertly, and im sure they are writing songs together. dianna is very talented as she is, taylor knew that. in poetry, literature, music, so when they join to work together they create a masterpiece.. william is dianna for sure.. they are quarantining together,( dianna ig post during quarantine most of them are throwbacks). some songs in folklore and evermore are diannas pov.. i even hear her at back vocals on champagne problem.. the instruments used are just diannas fave.. and the grammygate, why did taylors team push to put joe as producer? and why jack and aaron have no say about it? they both know that theres someone who help in production..joe is a cover.. and it is messed up.. taylor knew its a mess but she will do anything to protect their relationship..
taylor been very private since 2016, esp today.. until no one discover about them, they will remain on hiding and writing songs.. and if the time comes that they will be outed, taylor have an escape plan, i really hope it will not reach on that situation... im really happy knowing taylor is happy right now, leaving the life they wanted and dreamed of.. outing now is not a good idea, they knew that.
one more thing, about "the man" taylor is doing that disguise since 2012 with dianna. exile is 2014 ama.. betty is taylor, james is dianna. august is michele. yep michele bday is augs.thats when met gala 2014, when taylor seen michele and di together, taylor even put that scene on wildest dream, and bury that gown on lawymmd. all the school and 17 references is about glee days.. if you will watch the EHC mv, thats sums up everything. the paris, the tents (willow) school(glee), the projector with old paris, can be seen also in the lover mv.
folklore and evermore mirrors all what theyve been through on their relationship, also with rep and lover..
dianna is very talented as taylor.. they really should get married or already did-im not sure about that though..
its just my idea.. im not claiming anything is true. its not a fanfic though.. just want to share it with you coz i know you really love swiftgron and i think swiftgron stans deserved to be happy too.. ✌✌
no need to post this one.. i dont want to out them.. it will be our loss (fans) if that happens.. will just keep trying to protect them both.. thanks for reading.. really loved the podcast im a fan..
anon sweetie angel i’m posting this because i need to tell you this is completely untrue and you sound a little bit like… not good about all this. you sound like you have deluded yourself into this idea and it’s very conspiratal and elaborate and not based in reality.
i don’t support that kind of thinking here. it’s always ok to wonder and theorize and ofc fanfic is really fun too but there is absolutely no reason to think swiftgron has had anything going on lately.
as you know i’ve made friends in the industry and the ones run in dianna’s circle have confirmed she was really with winston marshall- he was her real husband that was not fake or for pr. the ones that know people who know or worked with taylor suggested she really dated calvin and then really did date lily donaldson (and who knows who else but during the 1989 tour she was w calvin and during rep tour she was with lily).
taylor and dianna absolutely did not quarantine together i know this for a fact. dianna was in nyc and taylor was in london.
but even without tea and bts info there is absolutely no reason to think swiftgron is together. they have been spotted one single time together since 2014 in public at snl in 2019. that is just not how this stuff works. if taylor and dianna were together they would live near one another and dianna would travel on tour with taylor (like lily did on rep tour) and they would be discreet but they would be spotted together.
the way you’re coming at this is unhealthy and unrealistic imo and out of love for a fellow swiftgron i feel compelled to tell you that. it’s fine to like the ship, it’s fine to believe they dated back in the day, it’s fine to wish they get back together, it’s fine to look for references and clues and ofc to stan them, but i don’t think it’s healthy to view it the way you are. there’s zero evidence nor tea to suggest they are together and that’s the reality we live in and it’s very important to me that people who interact with my content understand that.
i hope this didn’t come off as harsh i don’t mean it to i hope you read this in a kind tone but i do feel a responsibility to tell you this.
coming up with weird complicated and convoluted conspiracies just because you like them both just isn’t it it’s not what i want my readers to do. it’s not what the blog is for or about.
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yeoldontknow · 4 years
Text
Kissing Vermilion: Teaser
aslkdjal i am so much more late with this than i intended to be. getting the pace right on this is proving to be a challenge BUT! heres a small sample of what im trying to have completed by next weekend. this was meant to be up yesterday for joons BD but i was busy and couldnt write as much as i wanted to :((( you can all thank @jamaisjoons for the utter filth that this will become. happy birthday namjoon im sorry im late and will continue to be late *tosses confetti* (sorry theres no graphic im saving it for the full thing eep)
↠ Pairing: Namjoon x Reader ↠ Full Story Summary: It was never your intention to sleep with your brother’s best friend, but it happened. It was never your intention to fall in love with him, but it happened. It was never his intention to fall in love with you, either, but it’s happening. Against his better judgement, Namjoon just can’t seem to stay away from you. ↠ Genre: fwb!au; smut; angst; the full story is going to be the most filth ive ever written im so sorry ↠ Rating (teaser): R ↠ Warnings (teaser): nothing terribly smutty but she thinks about it...a lot...theres a lot of mature concepts here ↠ Tentative post date: 9/19
March, 2013
You really must remember to thank your roommate.
As the condensation rolls down the chilled glass of your vodka lemonade, the eyes of the man beside you do their best to stay focused on the lush crimson of your lipstick. Every now and then, at the end of a sentence or at the end of a joke that does not necessarily land, his brows narrow, ensuring his gaze does not fall, lower and lower still, to the provocative shape of the red dress that hugs your body. For the moment, he is nameless, an unintroduced stranger whose eye you caught just by standing next him and ordering a drink. You have not let him go, even as your mind wanders. Or, rather, it's the red that refuses to let him go, red and the way the shade kisses you with reverence.
All your life red has been your dearest companion, your first of many experiences and your best of even more. Red was your first lipstick, a scarlet transgression against your mother at twelve years old. It was sacred only because it was forbidden, the cream from the bullet now a fleeting memory of cracked concrete behind your middle school and the wide eyes of boys passing by, likely wondering if they should tell your brother. Red was your first Solo cup, and the first you’d crushed beneath your spine as you lost your virginity sophomore year. 
Red was not your first hickey, and also not your first scarf to cover the evidence, but it was your best one, your most favourite one. It was small, and it burned against your skin for days, the same way your nails ripped scarlet down your boyfriend’s back, the scratches stinging beneath all his shirts. He’d said he loved you, and you believed him, giving him red as a promise of your loyalty. Red was the wine you poured in his bed and the flush against your chest when you found him with another woman, her legs too slow in the effort of unwinding from his hips. Red was his lies, your slap against his cheek, and the paint of Yoongi's car, which you'd borrowed to not lose your campus parking spot.
Red has always been yours, oftentimes the only thing you trust, the only thing that has never let you down. Now, it sits on your skin like you belong to it. You chose the dress for the shade, your roommate made you buy it because of the shape. You don't usually toy with such a deep cut against your back, a low swoop as alluring as the moon and turning the line of your spine into a promise of treasure or victory. But this red turns you into something special, something dangerous.
And now, with his eyes on you, you really must remember to thank her.
The man beside you flashes you a smile he thinks he is dazzling, rolling the base of his whiskey neat in slow circles against the bar top. He waits for you to flush, anticipating a rush of blood to your cheeks or your lips, but you merely offer him a thin lipped smile, remembering to be polite. His eyes dart from your face to the seductive contour of your hips, and back again, and he tries to be respectful, tries to play it off like he's positively twitterpatted, but you can tell. You can always tell.
As his eyes flick away once more, admiring the supple skin of your shoulder, you wonder if you would be interested. Your mind starts to wander for a moment, and you envision yourself leaning close and letting him have his fill. It would be so terribly easy, and you'd let him feel like he'd won even if you had no intention of it going any further than this. If it was just you and just him, you'd be good. At the end of all his jokes, you would laugh and peer at him through the thick curtain of your lashes. At all the right places, you'd rest your hand on his arm and make him believe he mattered. For one night, you would be so good.
But his eyes are on you, the searing heat of Namjoon's intense and focused stare kisses at the small of your back from across the room. He sits at a table with your large group of friends, expression entirely neutral except for the power that lurks ominously in his jaw and dark irises. His gaze has walked from the small of your back to settle at the warm highlight of your cheekbone, and, now, you are aching. Feeling him all over you is just the same as feeling his hands at your throat, your heartbeat rattling in your chest as though lingering on a knife's edge. There's something different about it tonight, about him. There's something different about the way you feel under his unwavering attention, and somewhere amidst the laughing and the talking and the indiscernible number of drinks you have convinced this stranger to buy you, you have started to learn you want Namjoon to stay.
Tonight, you are learning that his attention makes a kingdom bloom beneath your skin, amongst your blood, and you are asking, silently willing, him to claim it.
You should not want him here. You should not want him nestling into crevices long untouched, and long unnoticed. Namjoon unfurls in the spaces between your bones and your joints, curling into the gaps between your ribs, and you wonder if he can feel it. Have you done the same to him, just by standing, and talking, and quietly wanting? If you're being honest, you've always wanted him, at least a little. If you're honest, you can distantly remember the time your brother brought him over their final year of high school and he had grown into the baby fat of his cheeks, his white shirt somehow battling the muscles of his chest for dominance, and his smile, and the dimples he so often kept a secret, felt sweeter to you than honey.
If you're honest, it was your family, the proximity of your relationship to him that decided he was not for you. There’s something forbidden about craving a person you’ve known all your life, someone your brother has spent his whole life calling his best friend. It was your family, and it was Yoongi, who made you turn away from your infatuation. You were eighteen when you finally swallowed your crush on Namjoon whole, convinced you had rid yourself of it while taking the appropriate lesson you were meant to learn: you no longer wanted a boy, you deserved a man, your hunger to be touched deserving of confident, unyielding hands. 
So you set your attention on other guys learning how to grow into their adulthood - even if they had never mastered the strength or dominance of it, even if they never tasted quite right against your tongue. It’s been a long time since you have wanted him to look at you like this, even longer since someone has done so without demanding you witness them, without expecting you to bend for them.
Namjoon looks at you like you matter, like you're something worth keeping. He watches you intently, refusing to look away until you are certain he could devour the very flesh of you, and still find away to take more, still find ways to keep all your lonely parts begging for him. He looks at you like he needs you, simultaneously uncovering the terrifying truth that you have always needed him, and as the man beside you slides his phone number over to you on a napkin, a number you know you will lose or forget as soon as it is out of your line of sight, you are certain you are toeing a line that, once crossed, offers no point of return.
'You should come see it.’ Abruptly, your thoughts are broken by the gruff voice of your conversation partner. Raising his voice slightly, he regards you knowingly, silently insisting your attention return to him. 'I think you'd like it.'
Ever since he started speaking to you the conversation has been mundane, likely because every topic of discussion has somehow revolved around or worked its way back to him. There’s an edge of pride in his voice, the sort that expects respect alongside awe for his, ultimately banal, accomplishments. Offering him a small, lopsided smile, you tilt your head to the side and feign interest, exposing more of your smooth skin. 
'Oh?' you hum, amused that even something as simple and unaffected as this noise of inquiry will provide him a sense of self-security. 
'Yeah, I can show you around.’ He takes a long, slow sip of his whiskey, as if his statement is a promise of something meaningful. ‘You can bring some friends, too, if you want. I admit, the frat is a mess but it's still a good time.'
You’ve forgotten which university he goes to, where he’s from, his name. Idly, you wonder if he’s a member of Namjoon’s friend group, though you doubt it. Over time, your college friends have merged together, Sunhee’s interest in Jackson bringing them together since she met him at the gym. You’re meant to be celebrating her birthday at the table, beside your friends and beside Namjoon. Removing yourself from his orbit has proven to be a test, but, at this angle, Namjoon sees all of you, keeps you rooted to this position at the bar just so he can have his fill, and this, you think, is hardly a sacrifice.
Having nothing to say, you simply nod, offering yet another generic question that will keep him talking and keep Namjoon watching you. 'All frat houses are a mess,' you shrug amiably. 'Do you like the campus?'
Immediately, he begins nodding, lips flattening into a sly grin. 'Yeah, it's a nice place. A little cloistered at times. If you stay too long you feel like you're in a bubble, you know? But I chose it because the law program...'
Tuning his voice out, your focus returns to the raised hair and gooseflesh that dimples along your arms. It’s been months of this, of your friend groups coming together to play matchmaker in the effort of being supportive, and through all of this you have become acquainted with who Namjoon really is when he’s liberated from the influence of childhood. Without your hometown, Yoongi’s deep laugh, or the distant chatter of your parents in the other room, Namoon’s identity has stretched and morphed into something almost unrecognizable in its alluring temptation.
Yoongi makes him warm, soft, a voice of wisdom and reason that has, more often not, left you feeling comforted and protected. At home, he is clumsy, sheepishly so, endearing in the way he trips over his own feet or drops things even if he’s being careful. Namjoon laughs first, even if his laugh is not always the easiest. He is the most curious and, simultaneously, the most distant, miles away in his thoughts even as he considers every word you say. And even tonight, he still is this way, the rich texture of his voice ringing out above the din when he laughs, genuine and encouraging, doing his best to make sure everyone feels comfortable. 
But the more you’ve seen him with friends he’s made by choice and by interest, university friends who both challenge and offer a mode of relating to his own adulthood, the more you have watched him separate from the things that made him Joonie. He has become someone who carries eroticism in their bones, his smile no longer just a comfort, but one that is altogether too full of temptation even in its patient inertia. 
The confidence in him has your tongue feeling heavy in your mouth every time he's with you, your walls clenching around nothing every time he looks at one of your friends with more than a little interest. Joonie has abandoned the childhood endearment in favor of his whole name, Namjoon a word that gets pressed against his neck and shoulders like a brand. He’s become fluent in more than one language and also in the destructive language of ruin, a single look from him and you feel naked all the way down to your nerves.
Reclining in his seat, his hand moves languidly up and down the glass of his cold beer while he remains poised in his consideration of you, your round ass, and the way you lick your lips to keep them moist when you presume no one is watching. His broad shoulders are rolled back and even when you aren’t looking at him, even when he is not directly in your line of sight, you still toy with the idea of getting on your knees and begging him. For what, you are not certain, but you think it is likely the simple request to stay with him, wherever your feet, your finger, or your bones rest.
You’d like him to invade you like that. You’re certain he’d excel at such a carnal delight.
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peachiikawa · 4 years
Text
Fly | Route Selected: N. Yuu
genre: mafia au
warnings: violence, guns, blood
word count: 3.2k
Fly Masterlist
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“I..I choose him”
You made eye contact with the short man with a blond streak in his hair
“What?”
The distaste in his voice was evident
It was so silent in the police precinct that you could hear a pin drop
Daichi cleared his throat to try and cut the tension
“Ok well if thats your choice then thats that. Nishinoya, make sure they get home and get them to work tomorrow. Dismissed”
Nishinoya nodded his head
“Yes, sir.”
You were surprised that he had little objections about it
But you were soon pulled out of your thoughts when he roughly grabbed your wrist
“Stop daydreaming lets go”
He let go once the car he called came for you two
And as soon as the door closed and the car was moving he pinned his arm against your neck, almost choking you
“I dont know who you are or what youre doing here but i swear to fucking god if i think youre going to hurt anyone here then i will kill you. Nod if you get it”
You nodded your head as fast as you could and he backed off of you
You were too terrified to say anything after that you basically tried to make yourself as small as possible in your seat
After about ten more minutes the car finally arrived at your apartment
“I’ll..um..see you tomorrow nishinoya. Oh im y/n by the way!”
He just grunted and waited for you to shut the door
After he left you went to your room and just fell onto it while taking a deep sigh
Just what have you gotten yourself into?
Nishinoya was at your house at 8:00 AM sharp. He was leaning against the hood of it, checking his watch every two seconds waiting for you
You knew he was there but your nerves refused to let you go down there
Only when you two made eye contact from your window did you know that you had to go
“Sorry im late!”
He said nothing as he got into the car
The car ride was awkward to say the least
You could hear your own heartbeat, could he hear it too?
You were so caught up in your thoughts that didnt even realize the car had stopped
“Hey”
You snapped your head toward him
“Yes?”
He rolled his eyes
“We’re here so get out already”
You undid your seat belt and tried to keep up with him
Where were you exactly? You looked up at the building in front of you to see ‘Sawamura Inc.’ plastered on the front of it
Your eyes widened, you were working here now?
“Get your ass inside”
Noya brought you out of your thoughts once again and you hurried yourself in
You were then stopped by an intimidating looking man
“Hey im asahi and ill be training you today.”
Between nishinoya and him you didnt know who was more intimidating
Actually it was nishinoya, dont know why you even had to ask yourself that
But despite asahi being the one to train you, nishinoya never left your side
You could practically feel his eye burning holes into the back of your head the entire time
This continued on for weeks
Nishinoya always made sure you were within his eyesight
You were printing some charts out for suga and noya was leaning against the doorway
“Nishinoya, can i ask you something?”
You took his silence as approval
“Dont you have other work to do? Im sure that you probably have better things to do that just watch me run errands for everyone”
You were right, he did have other things to take care of
But you were his number one priority during the day
“I can just take care of my other things at night. I was ordered to watch you so i am. Besides you chose me so if you have a problem thats your own fault”
You shook your head
“I dont have a problem with you, dont misunderstand, i just hope that im not being too much of a hindrance to you? I just mean...i know you didnt ask for this so..im sorry if ive caused you any problems”
You took the stack of papers from the printer and turned towards him with a smile on your face
“But thank you for taking time out of your day to watch over me, whether you were ordered to or otherwise”
You walked out and he just stood there for a moment processing your words
He just scoffed
Why would you be thanking someone who threatened to kill you only a few weeks ago?
You were strange
He thought it was weird that you had absolutely no sense of danger
But hes noticed a ton of weird things you do over the days hes been watching you
How you scrunch your nose when you dont understand what youre doing
Or how you play with your fingers when youre nervous
All of these little actions were so annoyingly cute--
Wait no. not cute. 
Definitely not. He had to focus. You could still be a threat to the mafia and he wasnt going to let anyone, no matter how cute they were, hurt his family
But watching you interact with the rest of the mafia made him feel as if he didnt have to be as hard around you anymore
He thought it was funny how you teased kageyama sometimes actually
And he almost wanted to join in on the fun
But he knew his place
Right now was one of the rare instances that nishinoya wasnt on you
So you turned your head to asahi who was sitting across from you doing his work while you had the chance before noya came back
“Hey asahi?”
He looked up at you
“Whats up y/n?”
You fiddled with your fingers
“Does nishinoya not like me? I mean i can understand since i take up a lot of his time but i feel like theres a wall between us that he wont lower no matter how much i try and talk to him”
Asahi just let out a deep sigh
“Thats not surprising. He...hes slow to trust. Out of any of us here, hes probably been with the sawamuras the longest. His loyalty is unparalleled”
You nodded along as you followed his words
“Then..i guess ill just have to earn his trust!”
That didnt happen for a couple more weeks though
It had happened when some grunts that worked in the office barged into the break room to get some coffee
They had shoved you out of the way to get to the counter
Luckily nishinoya caught you before you could fall
“God can you believe Daichi is pulling out of the shiratorizawa alliance? What a dumbass move”
“Yeah maybe hes going stupid in the head. Knew he wasnt cut out for this”
They both started laughing and you could feel noyas arms going stiff
“H...hey!”
You stood up from the ground before noya could jump in
Both of them turned their head towards you with scowls on their faces
“You got something to say?”
You kept your gaze firm
“Actually yeah, i do have something to say. Daichi is a good boss and he always does what he thinks is right for everybody. If he thinks that pulling out of the shiratorizawa alliance is whats best then i trust him on that and you should too! I mean, you two work for him! Dont you think you should show him a little respect?”
They just both busted out laughing
“Respect? For him? Hes nothing without his father. He never wanted anything to do with us anyways. Hes a weak bastard”
“Yeah well at least hes a better man than you two will ever be”
Maybe you provoked them too much
“You wanna say that again bitch?!”
You raised your hands to cover your face bracing yourself for the impact
But you opened your eyes when you heard their strangled voices cry out
“Dont touch them”
Nishinoya was in front of you, the man who was gonna hit you on his knees with his wrist in noyas hand
A sickening crack heard in the room
“Leave. I dont want to see either of your faces here ever again”
Both of them scrambled out of the room as fast as they could
You let out a shaky breath
“Thank you nishinoya”
He turned towards you with his hands in his pockets
“It was nothing. Just doing my job”
After that he wasnt as abrasive with you anymore
Talked to you more at work
Even joined in on teasing kageyama with you!
It made you smile every time he helped you with something as simple as bringing you a drink in the morning
Seeing you smile in the morning started to be something he would look forward to
He trusted you more now
And eventually it led to him knocking on your door at 3 AM on a friday night
You opened the door to your apartment still only slightly aware of what was happening
“Hello?”
You immediately perked up at the sight in front of you
Noya looked like he was about to collapse from the amount of bruises and cuts on him
“Can i come in?”
You quickly got him inside and sat him down on your couch
“Um stay here and undress ill go get my first aid kit
He just nodded his head as you ran off
Once you came back you poured some alcohol on a rag and went for the bigger slash on his side
But you stopped at what you saw
He had so many scars
You unconsciously brought your hand up to one of them and ran a finger over it to which he shuttered under your touch
“Y/N?”
You pulled your hand away and focused again
“Sorry, this might sting”
You saw his face grimace and his hand tighten around his shirt
“Did that hurt too much?”
He shook his head
“No its fine keep going”
Once you were done disinfecting and bandaging all of his wounds, you laid him down on a pillow so he could rest
“Oh! Let me go get you some water”
But once you came back he was already asleep
You set the water on the coffee table and grabbed a blanket from your room and laid it on top of him
You sat on the ground next to him just taking in what had just happened 
He looked so different when he was asleep but still just as handsome
You slowly fell asleep with your head leaning against the edge of the couch cushion
Noyas eyes slowly opened due to the cracks of sunlight coming through the window
When he turned his face he was only a hair length away from yours
Which startled him so he shot up from the couch which made you bolt awake
“What is it? Whats happening??”
You looked around looking for the fire only to see that noya had woken up
“Oh good morning nishinoya. Sleep well?”
You stretched your arms out and yawned
“You can take a shower if you want. Ill go get you a towel”
He was about to object but you left too fast
He stood up and looked around your apartment and saw some photos on a shelf
He picked up the frame to see a young you, probably around five or six with two adults sitting beside you
Your parents
He suddenly realized how...ordinary your life must have been
“Nishinoya?”
He snapped his head towards you and put the photo down
“Cmon ill show you the shower”
You had a smile on your face that made his heart do something weird
He didnt understand it
After he got out you were sitting on the couch with your first aid kit
“Do you need help rewrapping your bandages?”
He nodded his head and made his way toward you to sit down
You started wrapping him up, trying to be careful not to irritate his wounds
He just stared at you
Normally someone would be curious in this type of situation
So why werent you saying anything?
“Are you not going to ask any questions?”
You just kept applying ointment
“No, unless you want to talk about it but i know it doesnt really concern me as im not..officially in the mafia with you guys. What happened is your business, i know you handle your jobs at night since youre busy dealing with me during the day”
He was kind of shocked at how understanding you were
His hand reached out on its own and pulled you into a hug before he knew what he was doing
You froze as soon as he pulled you in
Just what was happening?
You both slowly pulled away from each other, hints of reds and pinks covering both of your cheeks
“Im done wrapping you up so I’ll um go shower now. If youre hungry feel free to look in the kitchen for something to eat”
You rushed off with a hand covering your face
Noya sat there confused
What had gotten into him?
He put his shirt back on and left before you could come back out
He wasnt being himself and needed to leave
Monday came around and you hadnt seen or heard from noya since saturday morning
You were shocked to see that he was gone when you had come out of the shower
But at the same time you were relieved to see him gone after that awkward moment together
Noya had picked you up like usual though and he acted like nothing had happened
So you decided to just follow along and did your job as usual
It was kind of awkward between the two of you
The only thing breaking the silence between you two was nishinoyas phone notification going off
“I have a meeting with daichi. Ill be back later”
You nodded your head
“Ill be here”
He quickly left the room and you let out a sigh
Noya quickly made his way to daichis office, clutching the area above his heart
Why did it race around you now?
You didnt even do anything
You were just...there
“God what the hell is wrong with me?”
He ran a hand through his hair
You on the other hand finished all your tasks for the day
You looked at the time...only half past two
There was a bakery right around the block, maybe you could pick something up real quick for everyone
So you went on your way grabbing only your wallet since it was so close
As soon as you turned the corner though you felt something was wrong
You picked up the pace, hoping to get to the bakery before anything happened
But as soon as you picked up the pace so did your stalkers
You yelped when you felt someone yank on your arm, pulling you into an alley
“Someone help! Nishinoya!”
You tried to kick whoever was holding you
“Shut them up we need to get out of here”
A white cloth came over your mouth and you were quickly unconscious
Itd been hours since noya had last seen you and he could feel his stomach dropping
Where the hell were you?
Kageyama said he last saw you finishing up a report for suga and suga said he received that hours ago
Noyas foot wouldnt stop tapping the ground, he couldnt sit still and everyone around him was starting to notice how antsy he was
“Hey noya whats up?”
Asahi was just trying to get noya to calm down from whatever was bothering him
“I havent seen y/n since my meeting with daichi. For some reason my chest gets tight when i think that something bad mightve happened to them. When they smile my heart races and i cant stand the idea of anything bad happening to them”
Asahi just let out a deep sigh
“Nishinoya, have you ever considered that you might love them?”
He...loved you?
Suddenly everything made sense to him
How he caught himself smiling whenever he saw you teasing kageyama or how when he woke up that morning in your apartment he wanted nothing more than to wake up like that every morning
He loved you
A ringing sound echoed in the room and noya pulled out his phone
An unknown number
Unease settled in him as he answered the phone
“Hello?”
“This Nishinoya?”
His hand tightened around his phone
“Yeah. Whos this”
“Meet us at the warehouse on 6th near the port in thirty minutes and come alone. If you dont then itd be a shame if something happened to y/n”
Noya could hear your strangled whimpers before the phone call ended 
His blood ran cold
“Asahi..someone took y/n”
His voice was low and feral, it sent chills down asahis back
“I'm going ahead. Bring backup ill send you the details”
Nishinoya grabbed his jacket and left the building 
His feet hit the ground as soon as he got there, he couldnt care less about his own safety right now
The cold metal pushed against his hands as he opened the door to the warehouse
“Y/n?!”
He felt his heart stop once his eyes landed on you
Blood ran down your face, your beaten body limp on the floor
“Took you long enough. They werent as fun as we thought they were going to be. Glad you got here before we broke ‘em”
Noyas jaw tightened as he instantly recognized them
How dare they touch you
He had shown them mercy the day they almost hit you in the break room
But now he knew that was a mistake
“What do you want with me?”
They both had disgusting smiles on their faces
“You got us kicked out of the mafia, something that was important to the both of us. Of course we had to return the favor, though we’ll be taking them”
The man gripped your chin and noya saw your eyebrows twitch from the discomfort
“Dont touch them!”
Red flooded noyas vision
He hadnt felt this amount of rage and fear in a long time
But as soon as he moved one of them had a gun pointed at him while the other was on you
“Theres no way you can win this. Just sit and watch”
“Is that what you think?”
Noya turned around at the sound of daichis voice
Hed never been so relieved to have backup before
In their shock the karasuno mafia quickly got the upper hand against the two former members
And as soon as noya could he lifted you into his arms and wiped away the blood on your face with frantic movements
But you slowly grabbed one of his hands and intertwined your fingers with his
“Thank you for coming nishinoya”
His lips quivered as tears flowed down his face and onto yours
“Im so sorry y/n”
You shook your head
“Its not your fault noya. Please believe me when i tell you that”
He nodded his head and tried to stop his crying
“I love you so much y/n. You wont ever have to go through this ever again, i promise”
His brought your hand up to his lips and he kissed your knuckles
“I love you too, noya. Now cmon, lets get home im really tired”
He lifted you up and carried you out, not bothering to talk to anyone as he left and no one talking to him either
For the first time karasunos guardian had something else he wanted to protect
And he was going to love and treasure you for as long as he was alive
taglist: @the-ironic-me​ @multisun​ @my-mass-hysteria​ @sugawsites @youbloodylegendyoudidit @sinthxy @celamoon​ @tinymouth @fait-de-fleurs​ @tsukifanbase​ @69owo​
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clumsyclifford · 3 years
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u know what. i will give u all the lore u want. i’m 18, will be 19 decently soon so we are close to the same age. also the other band was r5. i have sent u asks about them and tde in the past. i followed you for atl content and got whiplash when u started posting about the first band i ever loved. i was like 10 when their first album dropped i have been around for entirely too long. i had a wattpad account and wrote r5 fanfic from the tender age of like 11-13. i discovered 5sos i don’t even remember how but i think the funniest part about it is that i never really got into their music?? i got into them as people by watching like interviews and compilations. and i mean at this point that was a While ago. SPEAKING OF FANFIC i did that like ao3 year in review thing like a month ago??? and you were my top author of the year so far. i read a lot of fic on ao3. your fics are very lovely and some of my favs. moving on. will not lie my music taste is kinda embarrassing and has barely changed since i was like 14 lmfao. been listening to a lot of waterparks lately. have been since their album dropped in may. i essentially go through phases of listening to solely one artist. or one playlist i made. most recently my taste has consisted of a lot of all time low, waterparks, paramore + hayley’s solo music (it really had to grow on me BUT now that it has it is very good), also been on a nostalgic r5 kick as well. hot take it has been quite difficult for me to get into tde’s music and i don’t really know why. some songs i absolutely adore (omg plz don’t come around is my fav by them. also scared of heights, feel you now, welcome to the end of your life are top songs too) but others i’m just. i have never liked preacher man and it’s the first song they released after they rebranded in like 2017. i love to see them finally free to do what they love music-wise but some of it is just. hard to listen to. i’m supposed to see them live in november (like 4 days before my birthday, kinda cool) and it’s the second time the show has been rescheduled so hopefully it happens. i’ve seen them live before but not since they rebranded. they’re dropping an album in october that i will have like a month to learn so it better be a fucking banger. now i’m just rambling about tde because i love ross and rocky with my entire being. rydel is annoying these days tho. also she named her baby fucking SUPER what kind of name is that why would you do that to a child. anyways. you ever need useless random r5 lore, i’m the person to ask. it’s the effect of being around to like a band for like 8 years. in conclusion my music taste? terrible. a cluster fuck. i will listen to luke’s solo album next time i’m focusing on a task because i like listening to new music when i’m concentrating on something. there’s some other bella lore for the day. - other bella
OH ALSO yeah idk. i’m currently on mobile. when i looked at your blog on mobile the first time last night it was blue. but now it’s pink. i have yet to see it on desktop but when i do i am sure it will be equally as pretty. - other bella again
hell YES some other bella lore. let's dig in
oooooh how soon? whens your birthday? 👀👀👀
ahhh yes i do remember the r5 asks !!!! that was a fun little era of clumsyclifford content huh. dont worry i wrote 1d fic on wattpad from ages 11-13 as well sooo same hat. that is super funny tho actually that you never bothered to listen to their music u really were staying loyal to r5 good for you
ao3 year in review???????????? say more?????? what is this?????????? thats very flattering regardless omg im going to ask you what your favorites are because im a leo just kidding its because i crave validation and im curious what ones you read/have read. also thank you for reading my fics lol
oh yeah theres a new parx album!! i dont listen actively to them but i really like all the parx music i know. im scared to get really into them because im genuinely afraid to fall in love with awsten knight. like im not joking thats the reason. i have to listen to more of their music tho cos i really enjoy what i know so...if you have recs...👀 i'm listening
mm thats a good lineup of music to listen to!! paramore is another band i never got super into, i meant to and then i listened to all of riot and then i learned that hayley williams is like pretty christian and that a few paramore songs are more christian than i anticipated and now i'm like. on the fence about it all. but i wanna listen to after laughter i just havent gotten around to it yet. and i did like riot. i like paramore. i like dead horse by hayley, i didnt like the other single she released, and i didnt listen to her solo music because i didnt like the first single so im not sure if i would actually like it? i am accepting vibe checks in that category though i dont really know what kinda music it is. actually now that im thinking about it doesnt she have two albums now???? i feel like the answer is yes. anyway. moving on
that is very fair the thing abt the tde stuff is that it's all so interesting and so different from every other tde song like they really just do something unique in each song which i think is awesome but also makes it hard to like every song bc it's not like one universal vibe you kinda have to decide for each song if you're enjoying it or not. i do LOVEEEE tde though, im very jealous that you're seeing them perform. although i dont know why im not, just looked it up and theyre gonna be in new york on november 24th which is a sunday so i miiiight.....be able to go.......maybe...........their website says the 25th which is a monday so maybe i was under the impression the show was on a monday?? but the ticket site says sunday. 👀 we will just...have to see......what we see.............
ANYWAY
RIGHT im so excited for their album i was mistakenly thinking it was coming out the same night as luke's but it was just the new single which i really liked on a first listen but have to listen to again cos ive only heard it the one time. but i hope it fucks. they announced that the album is called girlfriend which personally i think is really fun so i have high hopes
SHE NAMED HER CHILD FUCKIN WHAT NOW???????????????
wait eight years thats a long time but also thats roughly how long ive been around 1d wtf........insane. madness. and in fairness probably roughly how long ive been around 5sos but i took a hiatus from both of those bands during high school so im not sure how much i can count all of those years. ive been around all time low for six years though, that's pretty good. anywayyyy i hope you like luke's album but no pressure man listen whenever you feel like it. LOVE YOU
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