#its like bad and i look at myself in the mirror and i feel bad i look bad my face is wrong and its like the strongest feeling i feel some

[angellurgy]

im gonna try not to vent nearly as much in case i go soon, but id like to put down some thoughts so.

i dont feel like im anything at this point. everything people see me as is wrong in some way (or many). even my anxious attitude irl is only cause im in the worst situation ever, its not who i am, i used to be and still want to be social and outgoing and doing shit all the time. the way i act irl is barely me its just a depressed exhaustion or stimming dog excited to hang out with someone, the way i act online isnt fully me either because i have to change my words a little or else ill be alone, and im not given the space to have interests i can post. i was never really allowed to have 'interests' as a kid, so now i just have little things as dissociation tools, and i cant get into any hobbies bc im depressed and need help. but i want to have interests so bad and used to, and i still have some smaller ones, but its like impossible when im homeless (and whenever i become not homeless bc i need to take a mental break), but i used to be into things. i feel like all i have become is just an idea, which in practice is nothing.

what is left of me yk? i feel like im nothing. im not connected to my body, its not 'me' its not how 'i' look and never has been. ive never rlly been fat in my head and dreams, just chubby, like when i was 230 last summer that was my most 'me' look. but i look in the mirror now and i dont see myself i see something ive had to carry with me this whole time while owning it with a straight face. i still try to make myself hot n ik it is decently hot but still. not a big fan. i feel like, a soul swirling in the brainspace but what i pilot is something seperate of me, even though it is 'my' body and i feel everything it feels, it feels wrong. this sucks and idk why im talking about it here, i have nothing else to rlly do about it tho so. yeah

[ilwonuu]

hii can i request a fic with bf!dk/mingyu with a reader who has problems with food or low self esteem?? if you are uncomfortable just ignore it, thnks ! 💗

yes of course!!! i choose dk for this but i think im gonna write something for mingyu too<3 i hope u enjoy and ty for requesting ily💖💖

𝟣𝟩

⇝ 𝗅𝖾𝖾 𝗌𝖾𝗈𝗄𝗆𝗂𝗇

❣︎ 𝗉𝖺𝗂𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀- 𝖾𝗌𝗍𝖺𝖻𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗁𝖾𝖽 𝗋𝖾𝗅𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗉， 𝗇𝗈𝗇𝗂𝖽𝗈𝗅！𝗌𝖾𝗈𝗄𝗆𝗂𝗇 𝗑 𝖿𝖾𝗆！𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

❣︎ 𝗐𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌- 𝖿𝗅𝗎𝖿𝖿<𝟥，，，𝗁𝖾 𝗌𝖺𝗒𝗌 𝗂 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎<𝟥， 𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝗐𝖾𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍， 𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝗅𝗈𝗐 𝗌𝖾𝗅𝖿 𝖾𝗌𝗍𝖾𝖾𝗆， 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 𝗁𝖺𝗌 𝖺 𝗁𝖺𝗋𝖽 𝗍𝗂𝗆𝖾 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝖿𝗈𝗈𝖽， 𝗌𝖾𝗈𝗄𝗆𝗂𝗇 𝗂𝗌 𝖺 𝗌𝗐𝖾𝖾𝗍𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗍（𝗁𝖾’𝗌 𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗅𝗒 𝗌𝗐𝖾𝖾𝗍） ， 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗒 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝖺 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗌𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇 𝖺𝖻𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 𝖿𝖾𝖾𝗅𝗌， 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗒 𝗄𝗂𝗌𝗌 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾 𝗈𝗇𝖼𝖾， 𝗅𝗆𝗄 𝗐𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝖾𝗅𝗌𝖾

❣︎ 𝖺／𝗇- 𝗂 𝗁𝗈𝗉𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝗈𝗄𝖺𝗒 <𝟥 𝗌𝖾𝗇𝖽 𝗂𝗇 𝗆𝗈𝗋𝖾 𝗌𝖾𝗈𝗄𝗆𝗂𝗇 𝗋𝖾𝗊𝗌 𝗂 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝖽 𝗐𝗋𝗂𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌：（ 𝗌𝗐𝖾𝖾𝗍𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗍 𝗌𝖾𝗈𝗄𝗆𝗂𝗇 𝖺𝗀𝖾𝗇𝖽𝖺 𝗎𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗅 𝗂 𝖽𝗂𝖾 ，，，𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝗉𝗋𝗈𝗈𝖿𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽 ,,

today was a very hard day. you don’t know how your mind got to this point. the mirror was provoking you. you were feeling a little bit bad about yourself lately. you lost your appetite.

your boyfriend, seokmin had invited you to his house for lunch. he had been cooking incredibly dishes for you. you agreed of course because you miss him a lot. you drove over to your boyfriends house with a little bit of fear.

you knew seokmin could read you perfectly. he knew when you felt even a little bit off. you arrived shortly with a sigh. you knocked on the door trying to shake your negative thoughts away. he opens the door with a big smile.

“hi angel.” he pulls you in quickly.

“you got here at the perfect time! i just finished cooking our delicious lunch.” he pulls you into a hug as you look over to see the food already plated. your heart drops a little but you just figured you can say you’re not hungry or something.

“oh! seok i’m not really feeling hungry but maybe i’ll eat later.” you smile at him softly as he looks at you for a second before nodding.

“oh alright- i thought when i texted you earlier you said you haven’t eaten today?” you don’t look him in the eyes fully as you shrug. he just chuckles before grabbing both of your plates.

“you’re not skipping meals right love? eat something.” his voice is soft as he sits you down next to him.

“minnie- i’m really not hungry it’s okay.” he shakes his head quickly.

“what’s wrong angel? you always eat lunch when i cook it for us.” his hand is on your side gently. his full attention is on you. you thought that you could at least get 10 minutes without him catching you feeling not the best today.

“nothing is wrong seok- i just really don’t want to eat anything right now.” he sighs at you but nods his head.

“okay- but you know you can talk to me. i won’t judge you at all. you can tell me what’s wrong.” you feel like you could cry. his voice is so comforting but it makes you really sad to hear.

you don’t want him to worry about you but you know he will no matter what. you know he doesn’t have a reason to judge you or your appearance. he always makes sure its known that he thinks you’re very beautiful.

“well- minnie i just haven’t been feeling the best about myself lately. i’m having a hard time not thinking about weight every time i eat. i just have really low self esteem.” he listens to you closely as you open up to him.

he feels happy that you feel comfortable enough to talk to him about your true, very real feelings that anyone can feel. he loves how vulnerable you are with him.

“i don’t know how much words can help you feel better but you are so beautiful. it wouldn’t matter how much you ate or how much you didn’t eat you are an amazing person. you are not your appearance at all. even though your appearance is absolutely perfect to me. you are the best person on the inside. you’re beautiful no matter what to me. i really wish you could see yourself how i see you. i know how it feels not have a hard time with food and i just want to say that you are doing perfect the way you are. you don’t have to change those habits at all to be beautiful. im not trying to say you shouldn’t feel this way im just telling you how i see you and don’t feel like you have to always be okay with yourself because i’m not always okay with myself either. just know that i’m always here for you and i will continue to be here every time you feel like this. i will always be here to tell you how perfect you are.”

you literally couldn’t hold the tears in anymore. you were sobbing in front of him. he was quick to wrap his arms around you. he hug was so comforting you didn’t ever want him to let go.

“don’t cry my love. i mean it you are completely valid for how you feel.” he can’t let you catch a moment to stop your tears. you were so thankful for him. he always knew the perfect thing to say to help you feel better.

“can w-we eat seok?” you say in between sobs as you pull away to look at him. he kisses your head with a nod.

“of course angel. i love you okay?” he rubs your cheek as he hands you your utensils.

“i love you more minnie.” you wipe your tears as you focus on the food. you already feel better about eating just with his presence. you truly wouldn’t know what you’d do without seokmin. he is truly everything you had wished for.

“i’m proud of you for telling me. no pressure on finishing your food. each as much as you’re comfortable with.” god you just want to marry him. is that insane? maybe a little bit insane. you pull him into a kiss. you kissed him for longer than he expected.

“thank you for making me feel comfortable.”

[bunnihearted]

📓🖊️🧸

[nakeurnes]

[ghostcrows]

that damn web comic is rattling around in my brain ...

[vampirewhohuntsvampires]

2023 has been a shit year all around, but like at least I'm making progress towards some body positivity. Like, I can wear shorts outside now that's pretty major. I remember when I was younger, I was so ashamed and embarrassed of the way my legs looked. I've always had those strawberry leg things, I used to pick at my skin hoping I could peel all of them out so I'd look normal. Now I'm pretty chill about it, that's just what I look like. It's unique in some ways! I've also been coming to terms with my weight recently, well I always had been neutral but I've been coming into a more positive view despite several people trying to crush that. I'm fat, that it's not really a bad thing. I'm learning to like my curves, my stretchmarks, seeing more positivity about that sort of thing has definitely been a big help. I think my mindset for the longest time that I was fine as I was but it wasn't necessarily traits people found appealing. That you're always going to get comments, weird looks or settle with people who hold some thinly veiled disgust about your body. Your opinion of yourself is the only one that matters true but it's also kind of hard when it feels like the whole world finds you undesirable. Arguably the next step is solidifying in my mind that no matter what, they are traits that are more than just acceptable but things people outside of myself like. Easier said than done but I've got a whole year for it! So, it'll be done. If I can't do anything else in 2024, I'll at least do that.

[this-should-do]

ykno i think that only ever being told im physically appealing by drs saying i could be prettier if i did this or that or lost weight or by my mom trying to emphasize how im a pretty GIRL to invalidate my desire to be more masculine most of my life probably affected my ability to feel good about my body

[disorder-d]

i really really really need to start doing something about my weight

i used to be 122 and now i'm almost 200.... i feel so disgusting i just want to be in my old body again

[linogram]

ppl in the tags of the crush post being like "not counting that tho bc we were 10" like i didnt even have that, no one has ever had a crush on me, no ones even ever fake asked me out (which would suck, but no ones ever even pretended to be interested in me which i dont want, but its like im not even good enough to be fake liked) and i feel bad abt feeling this way bc i shouldnt care, but its so hard to not when the entire world puts so much importance on relationships and i get ppl telling me im cute/pretty, i look in the mirror and think im cute/pretty, i get ppl assuming im in a relationship w someone (idek why bc one guy was a literal stranger), ive had someone basically imply that ppl have/have had crushes on me, and yet ive never been in a relationship, never been on a date, never asked out, and never confessed to, not even in a joking way

[xo8ball]

.

[mechawolfie]

is there an alternative to dykefag/fagdyke for people who aren’t attracted to anyone really. like i just want the gender of it

[theodore-lasso]

.

[mummer]

[ofsunhillow]

im like narcissus but a girl

[pears-trinkets]

everything sucks so hard rn idk

[aroacesigma]

uughghugghhg