#its like being in a costume and just. fucking around with some sort of barrier between myself and others

[puppyeared]

mascot

[angryschnauzer]

Bubbles

Summary: After a long hot day at work and a nightmare journey home, you find your husband has a very welcome and refreshing surprise for you in the form of a full size jacuzzi in your back garden.

Pairing: Captain Syverston x Female Reader Wife (no race or size mentioned)

Fandoms: Sand Castle (Movie), Henry Cavill.

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, Established Relationship, Semi Public Sex, Fingering, Oral (Female Receiving), Unprotected Vaginal Sex, Creampie, Alcohol consumption.

I do not run a tag list, but please follow @angryschnauzerwrites​ and put that blog onto notifications for future stories. All past works can be found on there or on my AO3.

Bubbles

It had been a long day. Work had been hot and sweaty, customers were grouchy and some even tried to pull the 'speak to the manager' bullshit, even though you were the manager. Traffic had been a nightmare, your car deciding that the middle of a heatwave would be the perfect time for the air conditioning to stop working, simultaneously with a truck of maple syrup hitting the central concrete barrier and spilling its sticky load. 

Snerk. You snorted a laugh through the sweat. Sticky load… your husband would have made a whole bunch of dirty comments and jokes about being covered in sticky loads. You couldn't wait to get home to see him, it was the fact that he had now retired from the Army and would be happily waiting for you at home every night that made each day worthwhile. 

When Sy had finally retired you'd wept tears of joy, every day was a blessing. You'd discussed what you were both going to do with jobs, your contract was up in 3 months time, Sy was drawing a military pension and had saved a considerable nest egg. He'd also taken to industrial upcycling; making lamps and coffee tables out of engines and car parts, which had been massively popular. You had to admit when you saw him in his workshop with his acetylene torch and welding mask on, cutting enormous chunks of metal in half and creating brutal beauty from the elements you were immediately turned on by the raw virility of the sight.

When you eventually pulled onto the driveway, a quick glance towards his workshop told you he'd finished for the day, and as you let yourself into your house you called out to him;

"Sy?"

"Out here" came his slightly muffled reply, and you realised he was probably sitting on the patio out back, nursing a beer.

"I'm gonna run upstairs and take a shower, the aircon in my car has stopped working"

"Darlin, come out here first… i got something that'll refresh you"

Rolling your eyes you started to unbutton your blouse;

"Really Sy, i'm all sweaty and stinky…"

"Woman…" he growled;  "I said get out here…"

If any other man had called you 'woman' you'd knocked them out, but you knew Sy and for him it was a term of endearment. Quietly walking through the kitchen you reached the back door and patio;

"Sy…" you started to speak, but was cut short when you saw what he'd been referring to.

Sat on the corner of your patio, shielded from view by the trellis covered in Clematis blooms was an inflatable hot tub, bubbling away with your mountain of a man sat in it, arms spread out on each side as he held a beer and grinned at you;

"Told ya' i had something that'd cool you down"

Pressing your hand to the side of it you tested the water, smiling when you found it the perfect temperature;

"You bought a hot tub?"

"Rented. Wanted to see if we liked it before we made the investment. Why don't you get in and give it a go?"

"Sure, i'll just go get changed into my bathing costume"

Sy's glinted with mischief;

"Why? I ain't wearing one…"

You weren't sure;

"Its rented? Is it clean?"

"Spent all afternoon flushing the system and giving it a full wipe down, even though the rental company says they do it after each use… i know how you are with hygiene" he moved in the massive tub, moving to the side where you stood;

 "Now are ya gonna get naked or am i gonna have to rip those clothes off of ya?"

A minute later you were climbing in, work clothes hastily discarded in a pile on the patio, Sy holding your hand as he guided you into the bubbly water and you immediately let out a long low moan as the jets of water soothed and massaged your weary body;

"Oh Sy… this feels amazing…"

"C'mere…"

His massive hands cradled your torso, pulling you through the water until you were able to straddle his lap, his mouth meeting yours for a fierce kiss. As your tongues danced together he smoothed his hands over your back, massaging the day's stresses away to the point where let your head tilt back. Resting in his strong arms you let your back touch the water, smiling as the warm summer breeze danced over your breasts, before that skilled mouth was on your breasts, sucking on one nipple then the other, before he shifted and you were floating on the water, his mouth on your pussy. 

You weren’t the tiniest of girls, but you had utter trust in Sy that he could hold you up whilst eating you out. The man would easily heave around 10 foot iron beam railroad tracks to make into coffee tables, he’d pushed his truck home when the engine had died and that is no mean feat when it comes to a Ford F350. So with that knowledge safe in your mind you could thoroughly relax and let his tongue work magic on your clit as his beard tickled your folds. You came with a cry and he swallowed down your essence, before lowering you into the water and onto his lap.

As he lowered you you felt his hardness seek you out, sliding through your folds before you reached down and positioned him at your entrance, wrapping your arms around his shoulders as you let yourself be slowly impaled on his shaft. With the worries and stresses of the day easing away with each blissful bubble that popped on your skin you sought out his lips for another kiss as you started to ride him, the friction palatable as the noise of the motor covered the sighs and moans the two of you were making. Sy’s hands firmly gripped your ass, pulling you up and down on his gnarled shaft;

“Fuck… You look so fucking good riding me Darlin’. Definitely gonna get a permanent one of these installed… might get you a coupla’ white bikini’s as i’d love to see these titties through the soaked fabric, would be such a treat…” he grinned at you; “A titty treat…”

Grinning at him you squeezed your pelvic muscles, finally shutting him up so you could concentrate as you chased your orgasm;

“Sure Sy, i’ll get a white bikini… you want me to do the gardening in it too? Watching me on my hands and knees as i plant the petunia’s?”

“Woman, i’ll fucking take you from behind right on the lawn if you do that” he growled, thrusting his hips up sharply and finding your g-spot. One of his hands crept around your hip and between your bodies, seeking out your clit as he ran his calloused thumb over the sensitive nub. From the way he was bouncing you on his lap you could tell he was getting close, his teeth gritted as he tried to hold off from cumming, but with no luck. His hands gripped your hips to stop you from moving in the hope it’d delay his orgasm. You watched as his eyes rolled back in his head and his head fell back against the side of the spa, thrusting his hips up as he swore out a litany of curses as his body reached its peak before he’d have wanted to;

“Fuck fuck fuck… ah god… i’m sorry… fuck…”

Cradling the back of his head in your fingers you stroked at the short hair as you dipped your head down and pressed open mouthed kisses to his neck and shoulders. With his eyes still shut he pulled a hand out of the water and raked it down his face before looking up at you, his blue eyes sparkling;

“Ah fuck i’m sorry Darlin’... lemme see about getting you sorted…don’t get off just yet…”

He slid his hand back between your bodies, his thumb back on your clit. His other hand moved to your breasts, using his mouth on one nipple as he pinched the other between his thumb and forefinger. Writhing on his lap you could feel your orgasm rapidly approaching, Sy knowing exactly how to play your body like a guitar as you sang out your siren song that was a blessing to his ears. 

As your orgasm washed over you Sy held you in his arms, letting you ride out your pleasure as he relished the feel of your body surrounding him. Slumped in his arms you nuzzled at his neck, happily riding the waves of pleasure that echoed around your body. 

“You ok there Darlin’?” Sy purred, smoothing his massive palm over your back like a giant bear paw.

“Hmmn” you hummed, stopping mid response when you felt him shift and realised he was hard again; “Sy?”

He looked at you, a smirk on his face as he cocked an eyebrow;

“Darlin… you know when i blow my load real fast i’m ready for another round… your sweet little pussy massaged me back to full health” he pressed a kiss to your nose; “Now turn around and bend over, hand on the side… i’m gonna rail that juicy pussy from behind, see how many times i can make you cum before i shoot load number two”

Manhandling you in the water you let out a shriek as he thrust into you from behind, your walls still tight from your previous orgasm and he did exactly as promised, splitting you open from behind as his powerful thighs railed you harder than the transcontinental express. With his heavy ballsack slapping against your clit you were soon cumming again, Sy fucking you straight through it before he brought you to another orgasm soon after as he filled you with another sticky load.

As you both tried to recover from the energetic synchronised aquatics he pulled you flush with his chest as he sank down into the water, letting you lay back against his chest as your bodies were still joined. His hands skimmed over your torso beneath your breasts, cupping them tenderly;

“We’re getting one of these, right Darlin’?”

“Hmmm, absolutely”

You sat there for a good half hour, cradled in Sy’s arms as you told each other about your day, before your skin wrinkled and it was time to get out.

-

Later that evening Sy had driven the pair of you to the main hardware store in town that he’d rented the Spa from, and you’d ordered the parts and equipment for your very own one. As Sy had started getting deep into conversation with the sales guy who turned out had also recently retired from the Army you tugged on Sy’s sleeve;

“Honey, i’m gonna pop to Walmart next door”

“Sure thing Darlin, i’ll catch up with you in fifteen minutes”

Just as promised Sy found you fifteen minutes later as you browsed through the clothing section, and you spotted that he was swinging a small clothes hangar from his finger;

“What you got there?” you asked

Sy held it up and your eyes practically bulged out of your head; He had found the tiniest white bikini, that although was your size, was little more than three small triangles of fabric connected with the thinnest of strings;

“Exactly what we discussed… now i see ya got a bottle of tequila and some snacks, how about we head home and we can test this out?”

Grinned you nodded;

“Just one thing…”

“Yeah Darlin?”

“We need to grab a few more of those… there’s no way that is gonna survive one wear with you around”

Nodding in agreement Sy grinned, taking the basket from your hand as he wrapped his free arm around your shoulders;

“See, that’s why i married ya’, thinking ahead…”

He pressed a kiss to your hair as he led you back to the display of swimwear, grinning as you pulled out numerous other cheap pieces of swimwear, knowing full well Sy would destroy them as thoroughly as he destroys your pussy.

[tomurasprincess]

quote #41 with dabi and prompt # 15 -hi it be raph and i’m dancing like a crazy rn,,, can’t wait to see what you come up with mari 💜

Pairing: Dabi x Reader Quote: Maybe I should leave you like this, that way anyone who wanted to use you could have a go with you. Would you like that? Word; Aphrodisiac Warnings: Noncon, aphrodisiac, drugging, fisting, anal sex, double penetration, overstimulation, multiple forced orgasms, bondage, yandere Note: OMG Raph, I am so sorry that this took forever to write but I knew I wanted to make it really good. Hopefully I succeeded...because this is certainly some fierce thirsty energy right here 🥵 And yes, there is some massive sequel bait at the end.

Prompt Masterlist

You stop your frenzied run through the back alleys of your patrol route in order to double over in pain, grabbing at your stomach as more cramps overtake you.

You don’t know what happened, only that you somehow got dosed with a powerful aphrodisiac that’s ravaging through your bloodstream. Your pupils are blown wide open, sweat is pouring down your body, and you can feel your pussy almost soaking through your hero suit pants. You know you have to get away, and quick, before anyone discovers your predicament.

And that was when the villain, Dabi, showed up. Whether he planned it or not, you’re unsure. But you do know that he intends to take advantage of it. He’s been following you for a while now, but has made no move to capture you. Atl least not yet. In fact, he seems like he’s having fun chasing the drugged up hero through the streets, and you worry about what that means for your chances of escape.

You know you have to keep moving, find someone who can help you. But as your lower stomach tightens in the most powerful cramp you’ve had yet, you can’t hold back the pained whine that echoes all the way through the tight confines of the alley.

That’s when you hear the laughter of Dabi, who has chosen this moment to catch up with you.

You turn around, fear turning your blood into pure ice as you meet his eyes. He’s smirking at you as he casually leans against a wall, acting for all the world like he hasn’t been chasing you for hours.

You try to shove yourself up from the wall to begin running again, only for Dabi to slam a hand on the wall right beside your head. Your head is spinning so much that you didn’t even see him move towards you.

“Don’t you dare fucking try it. You know you can’t outrun me.” He glances down at the obvious wet spot on your crotch. “Although at this point, you probably don’t even want to, do you?”

He dips his finger into the slick and brings it up to his mouth, staring at you as he licks his finger clean. “You taste so good, sweetheart.”

“Please - just let me go,” you whisper quietly, too afraid to worry about your pride, and your mind too hazy to think of any other way out of this. “I won’t tell anyone about where you are, just please let me go.”

His palm lights up with blue fire as he raises it towards you, and you close your eyes and brace for the burning. But instead, you feel heat pressed against your body and hear the ripping sound of your hero suit being torn down the middle. Your eyes fly open to see that he singed your costume just enough to make it easy to peel you out of it, and he laughs at your shocked gaze.

“You didn’t actually think I was going to let you go, did you? I have you right where I want you.” He shoves you face first against the wall as he plunges two fingers inside of you, grazing a spot against your inner walls that has you instantly cumming around his fingers. Shame makes your face heat up, a tear running down the side of your face that you’re getting off from being violated in a dirty back alley by a villain.

“Such a fucking slut, already cumming from just this.” He adds in a third as your pussy still convulses with your orgasm, your inner walls seeming to suck them even deeper inside of you. “You’re so damned wet that it’s easy to slip right in.”

Your fingers dig hard against the brick wall in an attempt to ground yourself, trying to let the pain distract from the fire burning through you. But it does nothing, and you cum again when he forces a fourth inside of you. The stretch of it burns to the point of pain, but even that feels amazing.

“Too much,” you whine, “it’s too much.”

“Nah, I think you can take more,” he snickers as his thumb ghosts across your entrance. He ignores your whimpers as he pushes his thumb past the tight outer ring of muscles. Your world narrows down to only the feeling of him working his hand inside of you, pain and pleasure all mixing into one and leaving you lightheaded and panting.

You feel so stretched out, so impossibly full, and his hand isn’t even all the way inside of you. This shouldn’t feel good, you think to yourself, you should be horrified. But as his hand slowly disappears inside of you, inch by agonizingly slow inch, you can’t stop yourself from feeling the intense pleasure. You orgasm two more times before his hand is grazing your cervix.

He removes his hand suddenly, and you hear the sounds of clicking. It takes you a second to place the noise, but when you do, you feel yourself go hot with complete and total shame.

“What is it, doll? Don’t like me taking pictures?” He snickers darkly as he pushes his hand back inside of your dripping, aching cunt. “The sight of that gaping little cunt was too much for me to resist.”

Your gasps and whines as he fits his hand back in are embarrassingly loud as they echo through the alley, and you can feel your juices gushing out and dipping to the pavement below. When he straightens his fingers out as he strokes the inner walls of your pussy, your vision goes white as you squirt everywhere, only managing to remain standing by clinging to the wall.

“Fuck yes, doll, god that was so fucking hot,” he praises you as he unzips his pants. “You better be glad you’re so damned wet, because I intend to fuck this little ass of yours too.”

He gathers your slick on his other hand, using it to pump his painfully hard cock as he guides it to the entrance of your asshole. “No no no, please, you can’t, it’s too much,” you beg and plead in sheer panic, but he ignores you completely as he begins to push inside of you.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck,” you babble as you feel his cock stretching out the walls of your ass. You orgasm again as his fist and cock press against each other through the thin barrier of muscles separating them. “So - so full,” you whine as you reach between your legs to continue to stroke your aching clit. Despite how many orgasms you’ve already had, the drug is still raging through your system and you still can’t get enough.

“That drug really is strong, isn’t it? Hahh, fuck, look at how much of a fucking whore you are.” Dabi snorts as he smacks your ass, causing you to clench down and drawing a deep groan from the both of you. “Fist in your pussy, thick cock filling up your ass, and you’re still rubbing that little clit of yours like a bitch in heat.”

His hand thrusts inside of you in time with his cock, and you’re only staying upright because of the wall you’re leaning up against. “Please stop,” you sob to the man ravaging your body, “too much, it’s so - oh fuck!” Your next orgasm rips through you, and it’s almost painful in its sheer intensity.

Dabi increases his pace, balls slamming against your ass with every thrust as his fist continues to work your insides, and he hisses out a curse when he feels you tighten around him again. “Not going to last, holy fuck, this ass feels too fucking good,” he grabs your hip with one hand as he slams balls deep inside of your aching ass, releasing thick ropes of cum.

He fucks you through his orgasm before finally pulling out with a choked gasp when the sensitivity becomes too much, and you glance down to see the mess dripping out of you and coating the pavement. You don’t think you even have the energy to cry, at least until you feel a handcuff going around your wrist and snapping closed against a nearby pipe connected to the wall.

Dabi’s face breaks out into a smirk at your confused face. “Maybe I should leave you like this, that way anyone who wanted to use you could have a go with you. Would you like that?”

“No, please don’t leave me like this!” You pull hard at the handcuff, but there’s no give to the metal and it’s cinched too tightly around your wrist to be able to slip out. “Oh fuck, no,” you sob out as you allow your head to fall back against the wall as that terrible, horrible lust is boiling back up, forcing you to rub your thighs together to try and relieve it.

When you open your eyes, Dabi is gone, and you don’t know whether to feel relieved by that or panicked. But then you hear the footsteps approaching where you’re chained, and you feel a hesitant sort of hopefulness that someone is here to rescue you.

That hesitancy goes away completely when you see who it is, and you just know that everything is going to be okay now.

“Are you here to save me?” You whisper quietly as you look up at the winged hero, Hawks with pleading, tear stained eyes. He’s going to save you, you just know it. He’s a hero, right? Of course he would help an innocent civilian after they’ve been violated in a dirty back alley by a villain.

But your heart sinks into your chest, despair filling every fiber of your being as you see Hawks reaching for his pants as the distinct sound of a belt unbuckling echoes through the alleyway.

✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧

Tags: @trafalgar-temptress, @thewheezingwyvern, @vixen-scribbles, @ttamaki, @lildreamer93, @kittygonyan, @bat-eclecticwolfbouquet-love, @daedaep69, @heyybrittannia, @groovydreamertrash, @chou-maitresse, @shoutogepi, @togasknifes, @kingtamakimurder, @shigaraki-is-my-master, @kittycatkrissa, @reinawritesbnha, @yanderart, @dabilove27, @fae-father, @anxietyplusultra, @flutterfalla, @angmarwitch, @nereida19, @dabis-kitten, @bakugos-cumsock, @yumeneji, 

[bigskydreaming]

@hood-ex

Okay but re: the subject of wingfic.....picture this....His Dark Materials style AU where instead of kids having daemons who shapeshift until they settle, kids have wings that are constantly shifting and trying out new forms until they settle.

And maybe Dick’s generation is the first one to have this.....like, the DC multiverse is constantly having these universe-altering Crises, that are all metaphysical and unleash and reshape cosmic and universal creation energies....and early in Dick’s tenure as Robin, let’s say the DC multiverse undergoes a Crisis whose resolution has an unexpected side-effect.....at that point forward, teens begin manifesting their like, soul or whatever, in physical or metaphysical form, in the shape of wings.

They first pop up around when kids start entering puberty, and tend to settle around them kinda ‘finding themselves’ as adults....and we’re not talking just bird-type wings. Wings of any kind, any shape, any material. They’re described as ‘metanatomy’ not in the sense of metas having altered anatomy but more in the sense of how metaphysical relates to physical.....these wings don’t have to prescribe to any biological or anatomical rules because they’re not biological in nature. Kory’s people describe the wings as a child’s ‘over-soul’ - a manifestation of their fundamental, individualized essence that’s overlaid on top of their physical self.

So, many wings are bird-like in nature, physically capable of being touched, damaged, healed, etc....but just as many are batlike or dragon-like, they can be just wing-shaped and made of fire, they can be mechanical appearing or insectoid or pretty much anything. There was a period when Dick was around fourteen when his wings were just wispy wing-shaped stormclouds behind him, lightning constantly flickering up and down their lengths as though it were the wings’ veins.....another period where they were just giant sweeping shadows behind him that he could nevertheless fly with, and while he was Robin, they most consistently manifested as bright, gleaming swaths of luminescence that glowed as though they constantly had spotlights trained on them. 

(Which had Bruce paranoid it would just make Dick an easy target, until they realized that a ‘side-effect’ of Dick’s wings when they looked like this was instead of making it easier for the bad guys to train their weapons on him, even the most hardened villains would find themselves hesitating to pull the trigger. Some kind of pulsating, emotion-laced effect of those wings drawing their attention was it was more like moths drawn to a flame....they were so busy being momentarily entranced or hypnotized by the spectacle of them that they were usually a second too late in actually firing....by which time Dick was in a position to strike them first. Well, at least that’s how it went until the Joker managed a lucky shot anyway. But then, when isn’t that asshole an exception to the rules?)

Some wings had little quirks or fringe effects that went with them taking on a certain form or appearance....though those didn’t tend to stick around when the wings shifted to a different appearance, unless a person’s wings settled in the shape a particular fringe effect was associated with. Like when Roy hit adulthood, his wings settled in the appearance of bright red feathered wings with black accents......his wings are fairly small and not suited for long range flight, or even flight in general, as they tend to be more useful in helping him glide in short, quick spurts. But they also come with a perk unique to him....when Roy uses his own feathers to fletch his arrows, those arrows never ever miss. 

In adulthood, Donna’s wings settle as giant bird-like wings, all black feathers with silver specks of stars scattered all across them, same as her Troia costume. They’re like patches of night sky sliced straight out of the heavens, and when Donna’s in costume she’s impossible to see cutting through the dark. Her huge sweeping wings would cast an easily noticed shadow over the ground if not for the silver specks dotting her feathers, but thanks to those, by the time she’s close enough for you to make out her features, distinct from the night sky, its far too late to do anything but go oh fuck.

Wally’s wings are more of a presence than a visual. Hummingbird type things that match his speed but never manage his stillness. Beating at the air a furious several hundred wingflaps per second, so even when he’s standing still he’s far from motionless....the air around him thrumming with movement, humming with vibrations that make it look like he’s constantly surrounded by shimmering ribbons of heat baking off an asphalt pavement. And again, that’s when he’s just standing still. When he actually gets agitated, they hit the air like a thunderclap. Sparks shooting up from the points of contact as the friction of them is so fast and furious it ionizes the atmosphere around him all on its own.

Garth’s can be a bit unwieldy when on the surface, but in the water they make him glide faster and smoother than any Atlantean before him. Stretching out from torso to underarms like the wings of a manta ray, they’re black and gray and streaked with purple like his eyes and the tattoo around it, just inverted. The material of them thick and coarse enough that when he flings his arms out or wrapped around himself just so, the folds of his wings draped around him create a dense barrier capable of shrugging off any number of projectile impacts.

Vic’s are mechanical marvels, smooth and sleek metallic expanses that aren’t dissimilar to Marvel’s Archangel, but where Warren’s feathers are knife-like flechettes, Vic’s host a variety of sensory arrays and feed him all sorts of data. Gar’s never fully settle....they shift as often as he does, sometimes vast and feathered, sometimes batlike and leathery....always green though, and always there no matter what animal he shifts into. He’s never a snake so much as a feathered serpent, a pegasus instead of a horse, a manticore instead of a mere lion, and well, you haven’t lived until you’ve seen Beast Boy take to the streets of Manhattan as a T-Rex with giant pterodactyl wings. Why his wings never fully settle could be due to his shape-shifting or it could just be in his nature.....Gar’s the original Lost Boy who’ll never FULLY grow up.

Raven’s are purple and black on the outside but bone-white on the inside.....like her empathy, they cut both ways. When she pulls her wings tight around her and someone else like a protective shroud, they can shield her and those in her care from prying eyes and scrying magic....when she throws them wide and strikes out with them at enemies on either side, the touch of her feathers is like feeling the cold of the grave. Kory’s are a deeper, royal purple juxtaposed beside Raven’s shadowed inky violets.....but rather than feathered, Kory’s are tall and draconian, imperious and imposing canvases adorned with swirls of red and green like nebulas painted across a cosmic backdrop. Curling emerald flames lick around the edges of them just like her starfire sometimes dances through her hair.....even when ‘ablaze’ her wings are cool to the touch if she invites you to touch them, but touch them uninvited and you’re going to get burned. Badly.

Lilith’s are four enormous feathered wings of green and gold and black spread behind her like the many layered wings of a seraph. They’re decorated in various places with dark concentric circles like those found on peacock feathers....until those circles flare and open wide and you realize you’re staring at dozens of eyes that are all looking back at you.....each a window to your own soul, freezing you in place with a glimpse of your own darkest secrets or possible destiny.

Joey’s are many-hued mosaics, like wings made of stained-glass windows. Hazy and indistinct shafts of rainbow light slanting through his varied ‘feathers’ when he spreads his wings in the air behind him.....like viewing screens or windows they show glimpses, afterimages of everyone he’s ever joined his soul to when riding shotgun in their bodies.....making them forever a part of him, a link he can tap into at will and rendering his power less about possession and more about connection, a forever-door that lets him merge with one of his previously tethered-to teammates, no matter where they are in relation to him. But with the slight change that now what he makes up for in range, he loses in stealth, as his wings show up behind the body of his ‘host’ for as long as he remains merged with them.

And Dick’s wings finally settle in adulthood to sweeping feathered wings of blue and indigo banded with gold.....but where his presence is less attention-commanding than in his younger years, his impact is definitely felt. As his settled wings act as an epicenter for a kind of gravitational bubble around him that’s keyed to his mood.....when he’s lighthearted and in high spirits, everyone around him feels a little bit lighter, purely in a physical sense, gravity within his sphere of influence being a little less heavy, leaving his friends and teammates a little lighter on their feet, quicker in their reactions, etc, etc. When he’s feeling heavy though, his immediate environs feel it with him - though that’s not always the worst result when surrounded by enemies he’s better off having feel overburdened, weighed down, like they’re struggling to get to their feet and the air itself is sitting a little heavier in their lungs every time they take a breath.

[pixs-pinings]

Me? Interested in Persona 5? No wayyy...

Warning for long post!

I had this written differently before I accidentally closed this tab, but I recovered the infodump well!

So... Yeah, Ribbon! My Persona 5 SI, my Phantom Thief SI. Still want to work on a possible real name- I wanted to go with a continuation of the plot threads I thought of with my P4 si, but... nah. Two separate SIs. Even if P5 si was also from the real world, I want them to be different for. Reasons.

She would awaken in the same place as Makoto- Kaneshiro's palace. I want to slip her in somewhere, and I feel like that case would feel the most... Natural? After futaba, a lot of shit picks up, and, as seen with Haru, can be a bit awkward. (And... Yes. I'm going to try to make that arc...... Not Suck? Maybe keep Morgana self loathing but...)

As for her awakening itself... She and Makoto have similar reasons! Both of them were previously known as prim and proper students, but then awaken to a sense of Justice, and are able to go all out. After looking a bit into myself, I was like "wow Makoto really is sorta like how I would awaken maybe" because like... I want to fight against injustice and hatred in society, but I'm scared because of the law- and, like Makoto, in p5, I could snap past that. Fuck the law, I want to stop people from being HURT by society's ineptitude. Haha...

Also, a reason for the involvement in the first place- Kaneshiro's reach is... far. Its very possible that people in Kosei were affected- and, in fact, judging by Yusuke being able to gather information, they were. So... Say that one of Ribbon's friends were being used... selling her body, perhaps... Hmmm...

Yes, both Makoto and my p5 SI- can I call her just Ribbon for now?- are third year students at their school. Yes, for Ribbon's backstory, I think I want her to be a Kosei student! Maybe there because of an art scholarship- writing??- or maybe a financial education scholarship, or maybe just that whoever her guardians are, biological or not, they sent her to that school with the money they had. But... Third year. I am 19 irl- and she would be 18 during the majority of the story, turning 19 in that february because surprise I'm a February baby.

Oh, yes, and her costume! She's a magical girl. Supposed to be based off of one- I gave her ribbons and feathers and a poofy dress and high boots with thick soles and gloves... Also, her mask is simple, but... I had the base form of a butterfly, and added on some mask details and also feathers. The ribbons on the lower part of her dress are more noticeable, though. Hence, her name of Ribbon. Unless y'all can think of any better...

As for WHY magical girls? Well, she thought magical girls were cool! Yes, this reflects on me! Ribbon watched magical girl shows ever since she was a young child, and always got this idea of fighting off evil by using bright magic! And punches. And kicks. When Ribbon grew older, while she never grew out of it, she tried to keep it to the back of her mind. She always still kept an eye on one of the magical girl shows- hmm... Beauty Cure? Beaucure? (Yes. Based on Precure.) And it was pulled back to the front with her awakening, because that's always the type of stuff she liked believing in- a magical force of good fighting against forces of evil... OUTSIDE OF THE NORMAL FIGHT AGAINST EVIL SOCIETY TRIES TO DO... Yeah. Mhm. Doesn't that seem familiar.

Oh, yes, I'm going to call the SI by the name of Ribbon- still unsure of if I should use Pix or if I should make up a japanese name that fits a bit closer to my real one, haha.

Her role of the team is... Well, sorta like a magical girl? She has light attacks, which does include the instant kill ones later (points @ magical girls and the series having magical attacks be the magical girl's finishing move), but she also can serve another role... Providing Buffs and giving Debuffs. I mean, magical girl power ups over the season is like a buff... And their attacks debuff the enemy... I would be tempted to also give her some healing things... Maybe later. After all, there are buff moves that are like "gain all three buffs at once!" And she'll get those! So maybe she can also be the status healer...? Dunno. Haven't really watched battle gameplay of p5- even if it's fancy, its... Boring to watch. Oops. Battle dynamics...

As for who her Persona is... I haven't thought of it. I haven't even looked into it either. I was thinking... Her first Persona would be probably an ancient magical girl? Pfft. Funny to say it like that. Maybe a fictional magical girl who was definitely outside the bounds of rules. Maybe villain, maybe hero. Her second persona would... be a goddess. Not the goddess of Magic, since. (stares at Ann.) But. A goddess of something important. Light? Hmm.

Her weapon is... A staff. Kinda a stick, but also it IS something to hurt with. Swing it around, smack someone in the side or head... Use it to adjust your position... Twirling it around... A magical girl doesn't use conventional weapons.

Oh, yeah! Here's where I closed out of the tab by accident. I went to go look at something and my phone pulled a trick on me... Anyway, moving on...

Futaba Sakura is 4'11. Ribbon is 5'. Short squad! Ribbon is irritated about getting teased for it, but is indeed 18- during the story, anyway- and just... Hasn't. Grown. Makoto is 5 inches taller. Interesting.

Ribbon's (outside of battle) role is... well, data gathering, and plan pulling. Makoto thinks of the plans, and can, indeed, push them out to the team... But for group planning sessions, Ribbon is the one listening to everyone's suggestions, and then addressing them... and giving them to the leader to mull over, as well. Make sure everyone is heard.

Oh, idea there... Ribbon also, like me, used to be a theater kid! It helped her grow more used to people around her, more used to speaking, and also technical details on things. Even if she isn't all outgoing, she still shows influences of it with analogies she makes sometimes.

(Spoilers for P5... Brief Warning. Skip to next parantheses for past that spoiler gone.)

During the Phantom Thieves' plans to decieve Akechi into believing he is totally fooling them, Ribbon could easily be very important with that acting experience. While coming up with the plan, Ribbon will definitely state theater terms, backstage, actors, scene changes... And she will definitely help the others get more into character. Staring at you, Ann... For a more believable lie... pull forth a truth similar to this situation and keep that tucked next to your heart... say your lines... and then, when that's over, let it go.

(Spoilers over! Yayyy)

So. Have you guessed who i want to f/o yet? If the answer is yes, congrats, you ain't blind to subtext!

Ribbon's costume is definitely on the lighter side! And... Yes, its definitely pink based. Solid pink ribbons... Light, soft pink dress... A mainly pink mask... I do think the feathers are another color, with those little x marker things that most of the feathers belonging to sharing a similar color, though maybe a different shade. I am... Not good with costume design, though. The accents on her mask would be similar colors to it...

Her hair is black. Darker than Makoto's, yes. She is light skinned, with barely a tan forming on her. Her mask actually covers up her obvious freckles on her face! Her arms, however, still have their freckles showing. (Not in the picture, because i forget about my arm freckles a lot...) (Also not in the picture is the frills on her dress but shhhh)

As for her Confidant? Uh... Hmm... To get to know her... Oh! She can show you her art and writing, sort of brush off her achievements with it because haha not as good as Yusuke Kitagawa's more official art... And her confidant would be helping her tap more into her confident side, whether it be for her own personal projects, or even for her just in society in general! While not as bad as Futaba, she still doesn't like approaching other people... And when that happens, and maybe culminates in her verbally cussing at someone who's been pressing her down for a while now and getting them to lay off her thanks to that newfound confidence. Not a Mementos Target, though she does bring that up but brushes it off as 'just a petty bully thing', but something she deals with herself!

.... Oh, Arcana... Uh. I think... you know how the Jester arcana was like... Another version of the Fool? Wait, the Thoth deck doesn't have an alt Priestess...? Fuck. Uh. Congrats, Akira! You get SUPER DUPER PRIESTESS BONUS. ... Please help

For her Confidant Ability.... Probably something to do with her Magical Girl influnces? The first idea I thought of was like... being able to be a temporary "safe" zone- while in the palace, she could... extend her magical girl light out and create a Barrier that prevents the shadows from noticing her. It will always stay a temporary ability, of course, since otherwise would pribably negate difficulty? But the period would become longer as her confidant goes up. The period of time would be extremly cut down during the times of actually stealing a treasure- after all, the palace ruler is EXPECTING the phantom thieves. No amount of magical girl protecting light would hide that expectation... Or. Something like that.

Also, her last skill. Instead of being like... Making the ability of protecting/anti detecting light last practically forever, its a SUPER STRONG BATTLE ABILITY. What is it? Well... uh... Still have to decide. My current idea has to do with a magical girl blast. Like, activate her light ability right as you get into a battle, and that actually does something- fires a big blast as the battle starts and inflicts damage on the enemy... Hmm. That, or she gets a special version of the all out attack that always kills? Has to be her leading the all out attack, though. What do y'all think...?

Oh, speaking of all out attacks! Hers (or her normal one if I go with the second idea in the above paragraph) would have her landing, spinning around, and doing a sharp "v" pose with her fingers, standing tall and with a grin. Think... Uh... Sailor Moon? I looked up some images and a few I found, with the peace sign arm outstretched, fit that mental image. The other hand would be on her hip, and, of course, she would be winking. Ah, girl vibes.

Yes. I am aware that could be similar to Ann. When i thought of it, i was like "hmmm" but then was like "I do that! and also there's a different between a lean and a wink with the peace sign to your chin rather than a stand/slight slouch and a wink and a peace sign held upward rather than close to the body"

Also, her little line in the background would be "light has prevailed!" In like... Bubbly letters? And it looks like light is shining from behind the letters.

Sure, Ribbon would have a romance route with Akira... but I don't consider that canon. It would make sense that he could POSSIBLY fit my type? But. Nah. Not SUPER attached. Pal at most. Speaking from outside here... In game, with the friendship forming? Maybe so. Anyway, not canon.

Oh my god i just realized Queen and Ribbon have like... Opposite sorta aesthetics. Dark Biker to Light Mage.

Anything else I can think of... Oh, a spoilerly thing.

(I don't believe I can think of anything else to say, so for those who want to be unspoiled on certain things in p5, end of post is the next paranthesis. For others...)

For her reaction to the announcement of Akira's "suicide", it would be something like... Well... A hand to her mouth, and a furrow to her brow... but she doesn't sound like she is going to cry. Instead, she goes, "Ah...", like... Realizing. Like a "hmmm" tone instead of one trying to hold back tears. And then like... Ryuji's scene is after that. And those of you who have seen the scene know what the scene is. So like, if the player was confused by Ribbon, Ryuji smacks them with a direct confirmation.

(And... That's it! Sorry for the long post, I am both unsure of if the read more code trick works on mobile anymore and also am unsure of, if it does work, which version of the trick is the correct one. Because i remember two different versions. Fuck.)

[hannah-writes]

The Semiotics of Roswell (aka why Malex is Endgame because the camera says so)

And we’re back with instalment #2 of The Semiotics of Roswell. I’m supposed to be working but eh, who needs to actually have numbers and facts behind what they’re presenting? Losers, that’s who.

Today’s focus is on episode 2 and though I’ve tried to keep my screencaps in order, something wonky happens when I upload it, so I’ll be focusing primarily on individual scenes and the pairings - as before - so plz forgive me if some of the stuff isn’t in chronological order. The Malex stuff definitely will be. 

Also, at some point, I lost the ability to differentiate between the left and the right. #datdyslexiclife

Image heavy, once again! Consider this your friendly neighbourhood warning!

All my semiotic meta can be followed/tracked using the #Semiotics of Roswell tag, and is here on my tumblr. This includes random other semiotic meta that comes at me when I see gif sets.

Part 1 / Reunion Kiss Video Meta / I Never Look Away Video Meta / 

First of all, fuck this show and its lighting. It’s so dark half the time you gotta squint at the screen to see what’s going on. I know CW shows are all about their moody lighting and how it’s meant to help portray dark, gritty realism but the very nature of this show allows them to cover gritty realism without having to swamp our characters in darkness. 

What I do find interesting is in the below screenshot Max is half lit. This seems to come up quite a lot and now we’ve all seen the finale it can be construed as a hint to the duality of their “nature” as aliens, the darkness of the legacy of their race vs the lightness of their nature and love for humanity. (Michael’s general dislike for everything notwithstanding, obviously)

Liz & Max - handprint connecting them - fall into the my-side-your-side framing in this episode. Interestingly, you can see in the shot above that Liz is shot flat, the camera’s at the same level as her and there’s no upward angle. She’s got an even distance mid-shot whereas in direct contrast Max is closer cropped and the angle is slightly up. This is likely an accident, but there’s an insinuation with the camera being tilted up that Max currently is more powerful over Liz. We’d argue that Max would never feel that way; Liz is the hurricane that messes up his mind and his life and he can’t fight her. But his handprint is on her, which means she’s feeling what he’s feeling. This does somewhat blur the lines for her own perception of what she’s feeling and gives Max a modicum of control. This is more obvious as a shooting decision on the basis that they’re both standing and though there’s a height difference between them it can be compensated for by distance. But we always focus on Max’s face when Liz is around, and she dominates far more of his shot (below) than he does of hers (above). 

Conversely, the below two images are our first proper introduction to the Max/Cam dynamic which, ngl, though Echo is my ship, I enjoyed this for the playful dynamic that it was and it helps settle and establish in Max’s character that he is a sucker for strong women who can dominate the heck outta his soft, squishy person. 

Max and Cam show an up-down shot dynamic in this instance purely because he’s sitting and she’s standing, which sets it apart from the one above with Max and Liz since they’re (ostensibly, height difference notwithstanding) on the same level and being shot differently. Cameron and Max here are physically on different levels.

Max is more centrally-right shot, whereas Cameron’s on the right side of the screen; so though she’s framed to be ready to share the screen, Max isn’t which scrubs out the possibility of a true romantic relationship. Max’s position on the left-hand side of the screen - when he is on it - is reserved for Liz (two shots down!).

(Worth pointing out here that Malex is the only ship that is consistently shot with the my-side-your-side, even when they are broken up not together. Liz and Max have their fair share of shots that are on the same side or in the middle, allowing them to bleed into one - I’m thinking of the finale where they’re both lying to each other over the phone, Liz saying she’s fine when she’s been stabbed & Max saying he’s okay when they’re off doing alien things). 

Seriously though fuck the moody lighting of this show. The only mood it’s inducing is frustration and headaches. Stupid show. 

Again here, Echo is displaying the your-side-my-side framing. It’s the reverse of the above scene; they don’t have a set dynamic where there’s one that owns one side of the screen, not like Malex, but that’s actually okay. At this point in time, their relationship is unstable and tumultuous. Here, you can see they’re shot from the same, flat angle and there’s roughly the same zoom ratio used to help keep them in the frame. It’s not close on his face and zoomed out on Liz or vice-versa.

(Seriously, though, we don’t need mood lighting. I’d like to be able to watch the show without squinting)

First Malex scene! 

Which, thankfully, is outside in the day time which has better lighting. My eyes are thankful, episode. Plus, now I get to look at Michael and Alex for a while and spend some time sitting in my happy place.

The first thing that’s apparent here is that Alex and Michael - even though they’re not even in the same place right now - they’re still adhering to the my-side-your-side. Michael comes into the shot from the left and then the camera actually pans with him, tracking to keep him in the left of the shot. He doesn’t drive in and drive out, what we actually see is him driving in, looking to the right side of the frame and then we cut (below). It’s a hark back to the first episode, which is almost a frame-by-frame comparison except at the end Michael knows who’s standing there and the smile on his face feels almost part pleasure and anticipation at seeing Alex and part getting his armour on (sharp smile, sharper wit) because he doesn’t know what’s coming next. After they kissed at the reunion the sort of almost hope on Michael’s face is painful. 

We cut to Alex (on the right-hand side of the screen), sticking up a ‘you have been evicted’ notice. He’s still in his ACUs, which in many senses as a costume choice could be seen as him keeping a distance from Michael. He’s on Official Air Force Business here, so he needs to keep that respectable, responsible distance. The mid-shot here is also a testament to that; he’s being physically distant because of the nature of his job, the nature of how he has changed as a person. The uniform is a barrier as much as it is anything else, similar to the motif of the colour red referencing Liz and Rosa’s armour (Alex wears a red shirt in the pilot, too, and red is a colour that’s quite often seen in Liz’s wardrobe but styling choices are something entirely different and deserves a meta all of its own). We see it quite clearly in episode one, and again here. 

Under the my-side-your-side rules, the (below) shot where is once again telling; Michael’s home is on the right-hand side of this screen (generally where Alex tends to be in their dynamic, on the right, though it was the left hand of Michael’s that was ruined by Jesse Manes the destruction of their relationships started then and has spiralled out of control ever since, the right-hand side of the screen where home is, where Alex is even if neither of them is willing to admit it just yet, moving across to the right is a step forward, away from the pain of the left, in this framing, Alex represents being closer to home than anything else) and Alex has moved into the left-hand side of the frame. They’re not even remotely in the middle, Alex has gone into Michael’s side of the frame.

There’s a physical barrier - a pole - between them and the house in the shot which carves it in two; Malex and home, visually separated by a stark line down the middle. The lights that are in the frame are dim, and intrusive on the shot. It’s also shot at a further distance than we’re used to, items cluttering the right but a huge open space on the left for Malex. The huge open space, however, makes them look small and tight in their togetherness vs the vast open New Mexico landscape. Them against the emptiness of the world, tight and crammed together.

Visual meta aside, there’s no need for Alex to be so physically close to Michael when he moves away from the door of the airstream, he could have taken any direction - any path - to his vehicle but the one he chose was through Michael. Even now he can’t stay away, can’t fight the tug and push and pull that draws him in.

The vast emptiness of the previous shot is directly contrasted then to the sudden and quick cut the two of them, Michael grabbing Alex and pulling him closer, tugging him in and taunting him. It’s almost a reverse of their dance in the pilot; Michael moves in close, uses Alex’s ACUs to tug him in (tugging on his armour). The camera’s close over Alex’s shoulder and though it’s Michael’s face in the shot, Alex still dominates the frame. We aren’t supposed to be looking at anything else, our eyes aren’t meant to be focused on anything other than this moment right here. 

When we move to look at Alex’s point of view (and I don’t know if anyone’s commented on how Alex reaches out for Michael almost instinctively when Michael tugs him in like a reflex but then grips his hand to pull him away because he’s an airman now and he’s not the man he used to be, literally and metaphorically) the frame is further away, but Alex is still dominating the frame, both his side and Michael’s. It gives us a clue as to Michael’s headspace; Alex is still a huge driving force in his life, in his mind. So even though he’s sassing, he wants to be closer. Alex is the one putting distance between them, here. It’s immediately followed by Michael sassing him which is pretty much Michael’s MO as a defence mechanism; Alex said ‘nope, we can’t do that again’ and Michael’s immediate response is to lash out, go on the defensive, play on the town drunk. (More here in the video breakdown)

OKAY. So, I’m aware that wikipedia isn’t the best resource for information due to it being able to be edited by literally anyone, but here is a link to the USAF insignia and those definitely look like Captain bars, to me, which would mean that teenager Alex “screw authority” Manes grew up to become Captain Manes, and outranks his dad. I’m not an expert on the military at all, and so if you want to know more I would 100% suggest you go read this by the awesome @ober-affen-geil who breaks down the military stuff that we see on the show. Also everything else they’ve written. It’s good. I got lost in her meta tag trying to write this.

Having told Michael to move his rig and there’s separate space between them again, Alex and Michael return to opposite sides of the screen. The contrast here is immense; Alex’s bright “yeah, we’re not supposed to build on Santa’s workshop, either” comment is flippant and bright, there are no shadows on his face or covering him at all as he makes a joke that Michael knows is anything but. The darkness on the shadows over Michael’s face (below) are a clever lighting choice which shows conflict and unrest. Not just because Alex is leaving, but because the Air Force are buying up The Crash Site. 

Okay, then some stuff happens and I’ll dip into that during the video meta, but then really, the bit that everyone’s interested in. I’ve only included two shots of Cameron and Max’s sex scene because eh, we all know that it’s a you-scratch-my-back kind of situation but it’s cool to look at the positioning vs Malex in theirs. 

So there’s something deeply impersonal about how this is shot, it’s distant and wide-angled, the two of them are pressed together but there’s nothing there that tells us this is anything more than a quick shag in the kitchen. There’s no use of any of the motifs we come to associate with our key pairings (Echo it’s the sun, Malex it’s colour and hands). We’re watching this from a distance, an observer of the most casual kind. There’s a lot going on (what the hell are all those post-its, is that her fridge? Her counter is kinda cluttered, it’s handy her stove’s in the middle of the room on a bank of its own. That green container’s full of shit, are they all her spoons and spatulas and stuff?) which means that our eye isn’t immediately drawn to the hot shirtless Max and really hot off the shoulder shit action Cameron has going on there. It’s distant and impersonal and we’re not meant to get invested.

It’s deliberately interspersed between Malex because of the contrast; casual fuck vs two people coming together after a long time and a decade (minus a couple of days) of longing all culminating in a passionate and desperate kiss. There’s desperation between Max and Cameron too but it’s different. 

So. The second Malex scene.

One of the things I really like about this first shot is how little everything looks. We never see the exterior of Isobel’s house, but from the way it’s shot when we do see it, it’s busy and cluttered and home. Both Max and Michael’s places are set further out; Max’s house is surrounded by empty, isolated space, representative of how lonely he feels - though he’s got Isobel, she’s married and happy and he lost Michael the night Rosa died. 

Michael, too, this shot of his air-stream with the truck in front of it is so small. Alex’s car (SUV? I’m not good with car makes) is right in the centre of the screen and you can see Alex moving into Michael’s space. There’s so much amazing meta out there about their relationship that I could only distantly dream of creating, however there’s a point here about Alex being the one to consistently reach out, and @chasingshhadows did a piece on how Alex speaks with his body - Michael throws words out but Alex talks with touch, with action - and this is the first we see of it: Alex going to Michael, going into his space physically. It makes Alex and Michael look so small in comparison to the expanse around them (and, because I’m a hopeless shipper, small in comparison to the magnitude of their cosmic fucking love, fight me). 

(I’m definitely gonna find a video and do a video meta like I did with the kiss, because ~reasons. REASONS, I TELL YOU)

We see Alex on the left here, starting out, his vulnerability has already been highlighted by how small and tiny he looks walking towards the trailer in a phenomenally wide shot (above). This whole seventeen again talk just breaks me. Not gonna lie. This might get a bit incoherent.

Michael’s in the middle-left of the frame, his position already defensive. His truck’s at his back and the open landscape is in focus behind him (where it was blurred behind Alex above). There’s a vastness that’s indicative of something greater; the use of space to make the two of them seem closer is such a clever choice. The backdrop of distance gives a sense of closeness and isolation to Michael’s trailer, but also to this conversation and them as two people alone in the wilderness (it definitely gives off that kind of vibe). 

Ugh, just. My heart. This scene. Alex approaching Michael (this is, of course, after Isobel’s pointed “is there really no one you would risk everyone to save?” comment at the Pony - which correct me if I’m wrong but we haven’t even seen M&M interacting yet, so all of these heavy lines, the dialogue cues, everything supports our cosmic love story, right from the getgo.)

They full on invade each other’s framing here; Michael in the middle-left, Alex in the middle-right, the vulnerability of the situation and the backdrop forcing them to share a space that’s intimiate. The camera’s close, but it’s not too close, so we’re more intimate than the (to be spliced but analysed above) scenes of Cameron and Max and these guys have their clothes on. (And Alex isn’t in his ACUs because he’s not on official business but his father seems to wear them all the time which means the dude needs to take a break every now and then but it’s also significant because that is one of Alex’s barriers down; he’s in his own clothes, clothes that are comfortable and not a uniform that he’s hidden behind and squished himself into a box to wear. It’s another step, another concession to being something for Michael)

The invasion of the frame is important; it sets up an inability to stay out of each other’s space, something that’s all part of a cosmic love story - you know, I’m not sure if you heard this but the two of them just connected like something cosmic - how they drift in and out of each other’s space, right from the first time they see each other.

I promised a video breakdown of the scene and here it is: I never look away, not really, A Cinematographic Breakdown - Part of The Semiotics of Roswell Meta. 

I’ll wait. Come back when you’ve watched them make out some. I’ll stick the link at the bottom again, just in case.

So even though they’ve been invading each other’s spaces this entire scene so far, this is the second time Michael watches Alex walk away and the way he surges to grab hold of him, how he takes up the entire frame just by stretching his arm out and rocking his body and the expanse of wilderness behind him is so telling about where his state is. He’s alone in the world and the person who’s making him feel less alone - who is also alone in the world - is moving away. 

When Alex looks back at him, they’ve got their my-side-your-side framing on and Michael’s still a presence felt here, even though Alex is meant to be the focus. Our eyes follow Alex’s gaze, which tracks us over to Michael. In the seconds that follow, as we all know, they go into the trailer to start it rockin’. But the camera never leaves the close, focused attention it bathes Malex in here. We’re meant to look at them both, unlike Cam & Max, there’s nothing else to focus on here but them. No interesting cupboard or fridge displays, no beer bottle and random green thing filled with utensils. Just Michael and Alex.

Before diving into the framing of the kiss, I just want to touch on the circular nature of this scene. We see it starting with this same wide shot, Alex and Michael looking tiny and alone, we end it with the same shot but neither of them are there. This serves as a reminder of how alone they are right now, how separate and distant and isolated which then gives us a real sense of claustrophobia and intimacy and allows us to feel the difference in vibe between outside and inside (as if we don’t already, but you know what I mean).

Here in the two shots above we see Alex looking ready to instigate, moving into Michael’s side of the frame and though we know it’s Michael that crashes into Alex, the implication here is that Alex is the initiator; he turned up at the ranch, he walked into the air stream (I will never get over Michael’s shaking hand), he’s the one that leans forward here to tell Michael yes, this, i want this now please. We follow from a fixed camera position, frozen in anticipation as to what’ll happen next.

The whole rest of the scene is dizzying; they surge together to the middle of the screen and we’re looking up at this kiss, the camera’s tilted upwards so we’re in a lower position, signifying the importance and overbearing nature of this relationship, how it makes the camera move and swing and then we get the close up on their kisses (below) and they dominate the frame so close and tight that there’s literally no room for anything else.

We shift angles a little here; though it’s all pretty quick for something so steamy and epic. We go from a off-centre shot (above) to a centre shot (below) which gives us the full glory of Alex’s fingers sinking and twisting in Michael’s hair as they kiss like it’s the only oxygen in the tiny space. We’re still crowded close and tight, there’s no room to breathe which allows the audience to get truly caught up in the moment. We’re back viewing them from a level angle, too, allowing us to get sucked in.

The snap away from the close up to the mid-shot is purposeful and the centre focus of Michael (below) gives us a moment to breathe without actually allowing us any space from what’s happening. This taps back into the voyeuristic tone of the Malex kisses, though, as the camera bobs as a person would, Alex and Michael’s world rocking the same way ours does at the realisation that they are about to do the sex thing.

Excuse me, Michael Vlamis, how dare you have such a fucking filthy expression on your face (below) and not expect this pairing to have sailed more ship than Helen of Troy? 

The camera swings again, cutting to Michael pushing Alex onto the bed. Over the progression of the scene, it’s been slowly swamped in a sort of 1980s dusky yellow, adding a sense of nostalgia, almost sinking the scene into sepia. It feels like a dance they’ve done before, the force with which Michael pushes Alex back (below) makes Alex look almost like he’s not sure that they’re gonna go through with this - maybe it’s too much, it’s too long (close up angle, can’t breathe, sepia-yellow like tea-stained photographs - too old, is it the past?) but then Michael strips and we all scream into oblivion. 

Up next week, episode 1x03! Until next time, folks!

(tagging by request: @space-malex​, @istilfeelicantrustyou​, @ineverthoughtiwouldneedasideblog​, @lire-casander​, @i-never-look-away​, @stydiaeverafter​, @signoraviolettavalery​, @saadiestuff​, @callieramics​, @ubiestcaelum​, @tasyfa. if you wanna be tagged in future posts, let me know!)

[funkymeihem-fiction]

The Halloween Party- Chapter 2 (NSFW)

He’d briefly cursed picking such a high-up place, climbing awkwardly up the ladder with his peg leg hanging to the side, relying mostly on his upper body strength to drag himself along, with breeze whipping at his vampire cloak and dragging uncomfortably at his throat. But at least it was a good spot, out of sight and out of mind of the Halloween party still raging across the base. Here out of the wind, behind the shelter of stacked crates and metal barriers, nobody would find them, or interrupt them again.

She was already waiting for him, and before he could even properly greet her or say something raunchy, she had taken the booze bottle from him and downed two solid swigs from it…and then all of a sudden she was upon him. He’d barely even arrived, but she acted like she’d been waiting for hours, stewing in impatience until she could get her lips back on his. Her clutching hands gripped at his costume, and he would have made some snappy quip about how he was supposed to be the impatient one and how she was stealing his bravado, but she was eating his words and eating his face and he probably wouldn’t remember the quip later on anyway.

Sexual frustration.

Those were the only words he kept coming back to, again and again. Sexual frustration. Not on his part, of course. He was a bloke who had his priorities straight, his ducks in a row. He was never above a good wank when he started having urges. And he had those urges very often. Sometimes multiple times a day. But when he was frustrated, he just wrangled his donger until it cooperated again, and spent his frustrations into his hand or a sock or a tissue, or one time into Roadhog’s favorite hanky, which had earned him such a whomping that he’d been bruised for weeks after.

No, the sexual frustration was not on his part at all.

But that was the only reason he could think of as to why Mei’s hair was tangled in his flesh hand, keeping a grip as her head moved back and forth in an unsteady pace, with him grimacing and grunting along with the wet sucking noises between his thighs. She’d been so eager to remove his pants that she didn’t even notice that one leg was still caught on his peg, inside-out and stuck on the joint. Poor girl, she was so cock-starved that she was all but devouring him, and drove herself so hard that she would occasionally have to cough, or choke down a rapid breath before pushing him right back in. It was almost a little concerning, really- though his concern was dimmed by the simple fact that it felt so fucking good and his constant need to tell her so.

“Fuck, darl, that’s good. You’re so good…Yeah, that’s my good girl, take it all, suck me, just a lil’ more…”

He could feel himself almost down her throat as she took him deep, and he wondered what it would be like to cum down her pretty little gullet. Right past her tongue and into her belly. If she couldn’t taste it, would she even notice he’d done it? Could someone like him cum stealthily? No, he was a bit of a noisy sort and would no doubt forget himself in the process. Probably not. And he couldn’t risk startling her and ruining a good thing, not with someone like her.

There was a soft jingling sound, tinkling in a steady rhythm and for a while he could not figure out from where. It turned out to be Mei’s hair pin, with the little jeweled grinning pumpkin swinging to-and-fro on the end of its beaded chain. It clicked against the metal rod holding her hair in its bun, where strands of hair were starting to escape, mussed from his fingers holding the bun with every downward motion of her sucking lips. His eyes darted to the winning smile of the jack-o-lantern, almost as wide as his own smile, and the way it grinned so cheekily. Junkrat and the pumpkin pin shared a very private and (admittedly) very odd little moment as their eyes met over her moving head. Seemed everyone was enjoying this.

He was distracted again when she finally pulled off him with a wet pop, those big brown eyes peering up at him from between his spread legs. The night air was cold, and her saliva made it colder. He could barely suppress a shudder and wished she’d put it back in the warmth of her mouth again, but she wiped at her lips and smiled a drunken smile as she sat up and started pulling off her belt for the second time that night, staring at him with a little squint. He couldn’t really be sure if it was her lack of glasses, or the alcohol in her system.

“You have...a really cute freckle. On your nose. I like your nose freckle,” she told him, voice still slurred.

“Ah…Heh! Yeah thanks, darl. And the doc says it’s non-cancerous!” he replied proudly.

“Um, okay. And your little curl. What even is it, this curl? So cute.” She reached forward, the plush rim of her sleeve brushing his cheek as she reached out to the little lock of hair where a cowlick might have once been before all the fire and radiation, springing out over his forehead.

“Uh!” He wasn’t used to anyone complimenting him, which was why he complimented himself so much. But he definitely wasn’t used to Mei of all people complimenting him. And now she was telling him he was cute, and for some reason it felt almost as good as when she was sucking his cock, but in a different way? Pinch him, he was dreaming. “What hair I got left, yeh? Hehe. Uh. You’re cute, too. Cuter, I mean. Blimey, you’re cute. But ya know that! And I know that you know! Uh-”

Grabbing the bottle to calm his nerves, he took another drink and then regretted it. The comfortable haze around his senses was nice enough, sure, but what if he got whiskey dick? He’d never had whiskey dick before, but he’d heard it could happen. What if this was his one and only shot with Mei, the only night he’d ever have the chance to be with her, and that weird Chinese booze threw off the angle of his dangle? What if she laughed at his flaccid cock and then told everyone on base about it?

No, that was a stupid thought, wasn’t it? Mei didn’t even want to be seen near him, much less gossip to the whole base about his inability to perform. Plus, she was still sweet-natured enough, even if it didn’t go all the way through her. Like a sugar coating that turned out to be salt. Everyone else might have been fooled by her syrupy nature, but not him. Not with the way she treated h-

“Gghhh!”

His back hit the floor, sprawled out atop his vampire cape. His throat closed up and all suspicions were driven from his mind when he realized he has been pushed there. Mei had one hand splayed across his bony chest, supporting herself as she straddled his lap, her legs clad in nothing but her underwear. When had she taken her pants off? Shit, he’d missed it! Stupid brain, worrying about flaccid performance when his favorite ice queen was taking off her pants right in front of him!

She sighed a little as she sat astride his narrow middle, shrugging off her fluffy coat to reveal the tank top that he’d been shoving his fingers into only minutes earlier. There really was no doubt about it: Mei had the nicest tits of anyone on the whole base. Probably the whole world. They also happened to be pretty much the largest (and he was a man who had an appreciation for large breasts and hips) and the softest, and basically the best things he could ever remember getting his hands on. He wished he still had his other hand, one with the full range of nerve endings and feelings of touch. Then he could grope her with that one too.

Her tank top was peeled away, and they bounced free of her bra a moment later. Instinctively he reached for her, sliding her up so he could began ravaging the pale skin with his kisses, though she pushed his face away when he bit too much at them. Right, he still had to control himself, could only bruise her softly. Capturing one of her nipples between his lips, he suckled at her until they stood to attention, and then pinched a little with his teeth until she squealed. She tasted like sugar and sweat. Perfect, perfect, she was perfect and she was all his at least a little while.

“J-Junkrat! Not where anyone can see!” she reminded him as he tried to leave a similar bruise to her throat.

“Right, forgot! Just…you smell so nice, taste so good. I wish I could-” He muffled anything further in the depths of her tits, burying his face in before he told her what he really wished. How he wished people would see them- the bruises. How he wished he could suck on her throat like the vampire he was dressed as, and mark her up, and leave pretty purple and blue claims all over, so that that fucking cowboy and anyone else knew to step off from what wasn’t theirs.

At least he could stop being concerned about the whiskey dick, it seemed. His donger was standing to full fucking attention, and the flared head was prodding insistently at the noticeably moistened crotch of her panties, right atop the wet spot where the cloth got darker. And it was him making her cunt drool like that, not the cowboy or the archer or the tiny weird bearded man- it was all him. He could feel it, especially when she shyly hunched her shoulders, almost as if she was still sheepish, but then began rubbing herself completely without shame along the length of his cock, until the cloth was positively sodden between them.

His mechanical hand kept its grasp on her hip, pushing her down as she rode his length, but the other slid up along her spine before flattening upon her shoulder blades and pressing her chest down towards him, long tongue dragging across the tops of her breasts and painting her with saliva, lifting up goosebumps as it cooled in his wake. She shivered under his fingertips. So the little ice queen could still feel cold? Interesting. Good thing that he was here to take care of that.

He couldn’t hold back a growl, gripping her around the middle and starting to grind himself up into her. Damn lady panties were in the way or he’d already be inside her, but there was something tantalizing about how she was keeping him at bay. Normally he didn’t bother with teasing. Either there wasn’t enough time or he simply was too impatient to care. But having her- the real Mei, herself- so close and yet being kept from his prize just by one thin layer of fragile wet cotton? It stoked the flames in him, to be sure.

But in the end, he hadn’t come to be teased- he’d come here for a round of booze-fueled fucking. Maybe if they were both sober and they were in a proper bed, maybe with ropes or cuffs or silk ties or things he’d read about, she could tease him until he exploded. But that was unlikely, wasn’t it? She didn’t even want to be seen associating with him, so why waste both their times? They were here for one reason only.

Pressing a hand to flatten her against his chest before it slid down the pale expanse of her back, he craned his neck to look over her, grasping the base of his cock as his other hand pulled her undies aside. She was slick. So slick. So slick that he slipped across instead of in, prodding blindly and inelegantly until he felt it catch. And then, grasping roughly onto her hip, he pulled her down just as he pushed up.

She uttered a noise like she was breaking, and panic flooded through him. Didn’t want to hurt her. He would never hurt her. Or at least, he wouldn’t mean to. He froze mid-thrust, looking at her wide-eyed before he went to withdraw. But to his surprise, her fingers curled into his chest and she looked up at him almost pleadingly, tightening her legs around his hips to keep him there.

“N-no! It feels good. Just…it’s been a little while,” she said haltingly, with the sour scent of báijiǔ still on her breath. “Keep going. It feels good.”

He was still unsure, and it must have been written all over his expression. Couldn’t keep a fucking poker face for the life of him.

“Please?” she finally muttered after a few moments, almost a whimper. “Please make me feel good…?”

It made the inside of his ribs hurt, the way she said it. And for some reason it made him a little angry? Not at her, of course. But at…the world? The kind of world that had done such awful things to the both of them, maybe. He wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was just another one of those times where he got mad at nothing. Best not to think about it. And not thinking about it proved a little easier when she eased herself back onto him, trying to shift her hips even at her odd angle, sliding up and down atop his length. Breath hissed from his nose, nostrils flaring, and he put his hands back on her to help her move.

He tried to focus on the wet heat that hugged every inch of him, on the burn of friction as he began short little rabbiting thrusts to open her up and ease himself into the motions. He’d fantasized about this, so many times he’d lost count. Granted, his fantasies never involved pumpkins or vampire costumes or awful Chinese booze or Halloween at all. But he’d take it. He’d take it and he’d take her. Maybe she had a thing for vampires? If she did, maybe he’d make the vampire costume part of his whole…thing? Then again, didn’t that Talon bloke have the whole spooky costume thing already-

Focus. He needed to fucking focus. She needed this and he needed her.

“Fuck, you’re tight, you’re so tight,” he heard himself groaning. “Unngh, cunt’s the tightest lil’ thing I’ve ever felt. Been a good girl, huh? Kept all sweet and tight, waitin’ just for me-” He petered off at the end, hips still thrusting in small quick strokes. Fuck, maybe he shouldn’t say shit like that if she really was a good girl? Which she was. “Uh, I mean…Heh! I’ll shut my yap.”

“No! Keep talking,” she replied, and he thought he heard impatience in her tone. “Your mouth is…it’s dirty? But it’s good? It’s good. Keep talking.”

“Y’sure?”

“Yes! I came out here to…I won’t break, Junkrat. I want this. I want you to be you. Be rough and say strange things like you always do!” she demanded with such vehemence that it surprised the both of them, and she bit her lips inward and quickly mumbled a little, “Um…Please?”

He eyed her for a moment, eyes gleaming yellow in the blue darkness, in the shadow of the tower looming above them. But then his face split into his usual grin, teeth glinting white and gold. “Well! Can’t say no t’that, can I? Guess I’ll be a gentleman, then, since you said please and all.”

“Um…Thank you? I didn’t mean t- Aah!”

Her words were cut off as he suddenly surged upward, lifting her with a heave of both arms as he maneuvered his legs under him to kneel, the scrape of his metal peg kicking up a spark as it crossed the ground. With a few quick yanks, he slid her ruined panties down and tossed them away. Setting her back down atop his cock, she took to the new position and wrapped her legs around him, looking up in a rather shocked manner. But the shock was short-lived, when he spread her thighs wider apart with his own, and promptly began thrusting wildly up into her.

“Yeah, you like that?” He growled into her breasts, pressing her spine so it arched against him. “You wanted somethin’ a little rough so you came t’me, is that it? Heh, said I got a dirty mouth. Who’s the dirty one here, love, throwin’ me in a pantry and kissing me like that? Starting to think you might be more of a dirty girl than you let on.”

“Y-yes!”

Well this sure was a fucking welcome surprise. Sweet and salty little Mei also had a bit of a spicy side. Who knew? Was it just the booze? Nah, booze just made it easier for her to admit. That sort of thing was probably laying dormant for ages. In fact…that might have just been part of why she pretended not to like him so much. And while it might have been a bit sly and low of him, he decided that now -while distracting her by giving her a vigorous pumping- was a good time to ask.

Licking up her neck, he hissed into her ear as she jolted up and down atop him. “S’that why you’re always such a lil’ shit to me, Mei? Because you been wanting this and didn’t wanna say it?”

Her nails raked across his back, leaving red risen skin as they went, her voice uneven. “You’re a t-terrorist! And a bully!”

Nothing he didn’t know already, but he narrowed his eyes and bit down upon her shoulder. “So are half the folks here, you absolute prat. So why me!”

“Because you’re…you!” she snapped back, tightening her legs around his hips and pushing herself more fiercely atop his pounding length. “Why do you have to be you! With your freckle and your curl and- but all the bad things too!”

They were fighting again, and both had realized it. With his blood singing, he pried her legs off him and threw her onto the ground, atop his costume cape serving as their blanket. It probably stung a little, but he wanted it to. Glaring back at him, huffing in that adorably puffy way he loved, she lay back, thighs still spread and shiny with fluid and sweat. Repositioning himself, he dove right back atop her, reckless energy all concentrated in his thrusting…and arguing.

“I ain’t going to apologize!” he snarled, gripping one of her calves and hauling it over one bony shoulder, turning and biting his teeth into the meat of it as she groaned beneath him. “For the way I am! Which works because fuck knows you apologize enough for everybody! F-fuck! Ungh, fuck! Take it!”

“There’s nothing wrong with good manners!- Mmnh!” She gasped aloud, lips hanging open and panting. “Not that you would know!”

“Said the ice princess what came to me to plow her because of my ‘bad manners’!” He continued beating his hips into hers, sweat rolling off him now. The stink of aggression between them was making it far more intense than he’d first meant. “And you seem to be likin’ it, by the by. Clenching me like that…F-feels so good…”

She managed a distracted nod, even as she spat back, “You’re the one who tried flirting with me before you even knew my name, and wanted to give me an omnic skull as a flowerpot! O-oh, right there! Junkrat!”

“I thought you would like flowers! Who wouldn’t like that!” He focused on the spot she’d said, swallowing throatily as she called his name.

“Me! I didn’t like that, and you’re impossible! So why do you have to be so tall and have a cute freckle and that curl and…and all the nice things, too! Why are you like this?”

“I dunno! Why are you the way you are?” He saw how she had pivoted a bit onto her side to talk to him, and took advantage. Slinging one leg over her thigh, he pinned it beneath him as he stretched her other leg further over one shoulder, leaving her spread wide and open as he plunged back within. Bowing his long spine above her, he loomed above her face so they could glare at one another, even if it was getting harder. “I just wanted you to fuckin’…I dunno! Look at me! Talk to me! Give me a bloody chance, darl!”

“You could have just asked politely. Oh! Oh, that feels…so good…”

“You certainly didn’t ask politely before you started shoving your tongue in my mouth earlier tonight. Uh, ya know. Like this,” He sneered before leaning down and kissing her deeply, dragging her tongue out from her mouth and right into his. Grunting, with his breath hissing across her face, he held her legs open with one strong hand as he paused in his rhythm.

That must have displeased her, because she began undulating her lower body, and started thrusting herself onto him instead. And that sent him moaning into her mouth, eyes fluttering stupidly as he rested, and she took over. It wasn’t as deep or fast, but the feeling of her using him to pleasure herself was certainly worth a pause to enjoy. Even when she peeled her lips away just enough to breathe more insults into his open mouth.

“You’re right, I shouldn’t have. Because you smell like gasoline.”

“Nothing wrong with a bit of petrol odeur, love. Besides, not as overpowerin’ as your damn Chinese booze. Nn- Yeah, yeah! Fuck, keep movin’, just like that...Good girl.”

She kept moving like that, her bangs sticking to her forehead and her eyes somehow even larger and darker than usual. For a while she was silent other than her breath and the little effort noises of sex. But eventually she sniped back at him, because that was just how they were.

“…And you’re too tall. You don’t even need to be that tall.” She smacked her hips up into him more sharply, enough that it knocked the wind out of him a bit.

“Nah, love. S’all these top ‘Straya genes at work, so we can get things down off the top shelves for you. It’s heaps good. Asides, I don’t think you should be complaining about how big I am when you’re currently enjoying it.”

That one got her, and her face lit up pink again. Perfect.

Grinning widely, he retaliated, grabbing her around the middle and hauling her up until he was kneeling again with her legs on either side of him, brutally pounding downward while he held her in place. She lay with only her top half on the ground, and he got a nice eyeful of the way her breasts bounced hard with their motions, her fingers clenched into the cape under her. She was panting loudly now, they both were, and he could feel the telltale pressure starting to build in his nethers. It made fighting with her that much harder.

“Not complainin’ about your size, am I?” he said, hips still smacking steadily and getting more short of breath. “Not when you’re all squeezing tight like that. Fuck, you’re so small and tight in there, chokes the life right out of me. S’perfect. Why haven’t we been doin’ this for ages?”

“I don’t know. J-just keep going! Please, I’m almost-”

She reached up between her legs, rubbing at her little clit where he could not, his hands full just keeping her in place. He focused instead on driving into her all the harder, hitting that spot that made her groan the most. She really was magnificently small and tight, and her core was gripping him so hard and so perfectly that he was ruined. How was anything going to compare after this one? He would need more, eventually. Soon. Extremely soon.

Her voice was singing below him, crying wordlessly aloud as she was tipped over the edge. Ladies first. But he followed soon after. With a few more rough strokes, he snarled and pushed deep into her and stayed there. It was a good one, nice and intense, able to feel every pulse as he flooded her with a particularly nice load. She deserved the best, after all. He waited, an almost pained expression on his face with brows knitted and teeth clenched, until he had emptied every drop.

He made a few more meek attempts at thrusting, but it was useless. Although they did sort of squelch and she made a pretty funny face at the noise. Heh. Unwilling to leave her snug heat, he covered her body with his and went limp, even if it made her oof and support his weight. He’d worked hard, he deserved a rest, and her tits were the perfect pillows. And he could listen to the wild rampage of her heartbeat and the hush of her lungs working inside her chest as they both recovered.

She wiped at her sweaty forehead. “That…That was really…”

“Heh! Yeah.”

Shit. He wished he had more to say than that. He’d finally gotten to root the ice queen herself, but any more snappy comebacks were lost in a wave of content and tired fog, even thicker and softer than the haze of the báijiǔ. He felt like he could just snuggle down into her like a downy comforter and pass out. Maybe he could take a little nap, then wake up and root her yet again, just to start making up for lost time.

So why was there regret in her voice when she said, “I can’t…believe I just did that”?

His eyes opened again. “Huh?”

“That was amazing. But…I can’t believe I…Why?”

“Because…you wanted me to?”

“I guess it was just the báijiǔ. Too much beer and everything else.”

Well so much for the pleasant haze he’d been under. He lifted his head to give her an irked stare. “Really? We still lyin’ about that?”

“I’m not! It’s not a lie!”

“And they say I’m a liar, eh?” he said. “Blaming it on the booze, oldest trick in the book. You utter tit, do you even realize that we could have been doin’ this all along if you’d just admitted-”

“Bì zuǐ! No, it isn’t like that. I didn’t want just…this!”

He paused to squint again, confused, and she shook her head quickly.

“Er,” she said, realizing her mistake. “No, I mean I did want this. I really did want that part.”

“But?”

“But I didn’t mean…I wanted it to be more than this,” she said, voice a little smaller. She was slurring less now. “It wasn’t supposed to happen until you were better. I thought maybe here at Overwatch, you would change! You would get better and stop being…you! And then…and then I could like you and it would be okay…”

Golden eyes stared down at her, pupils still blown from booze and (apparently much-regretted) sex. He felt a rivulet of sweat ooze down his temple, down along the edge of his cheek and off his pointed chin, dripping onto the girl below him. Mei looked up at him, then covered her face with both hands and shrank down.

“I’m sorry! I ruined it! I didn’t mean to! Just forget what I was s-”

He blinked down at her, and his grin warped into a frown. “Huh. Wow…Uh, that’s kinda- Well, it’s a bit shite, isn’t it?”

“I know! I’m sorry, I don’t know what I’m saying.”

“Fockin’ hell, love, you know how to ruin a mood. ‘If you would just change I could like you’. Yeah nah. Dunno if I can really get back to our little spitefuck, here. Damnit…” He pulled away from her, sitting back and running his metal hand through what was left of his hair.

“Then…Maybe that’s better,” she said, more mournfully. “I don’t want it to just be out of spite. Even if…I’m really sorry I ruined it, because…Um, you’re really, really good at it.”

His ego swelled a little at that, but he was still quite unsure of things. Shit, that wasn’t how this was supposed to go. He shouldn’t have even asked her, he should have plowed her and left, and then gone back to the way things were. He might have had a good thing here. Even if it meant just fighting and fucking her occasionally, it would have been something. Instead she was tossing addled and confused confessions at him while her tongue was loosened by booze and sex, and it turned out she was as big a liar as he was.

She was the one who had initiated everything with that kiss. Sexual frustration. It had been desperation. Desperation and alcohol. That was all. How fucking stupid he’d been, to think it could have been anything else.

He just grunted.

She sat up on both elbows, biting her lip. “But I liked it. I was really liking it, and even if we stop, I don’t want to stop?” She scrunched her face, her words garbled by alcohol, shooting a worried look to where he had withdrawn. “I don’t want to leave things there, or go back to how it was.”

He put his grin back on. “S’alright. Heh, not the first time I been shot down for being a junker. Or for, ya know, being…m’self. No worries! I don’t mind if ya hate me!”

“I don’t hate you. I’m just…I’m still getting to know you. And you are not what I am used to. Everything here has changed since I was…” She trailed off, either in some private thought or hesitation or who the fuck cared.

He looked out across the empty, desolate training yards, and wondered if maybe he should just leave. Maybe there was still time to head back to the party, even if he was in a shite mood now, and his post-orgasmic lull had so rudely been stolen from him. And the booze was still fogging his brains and his tongue was still thick, so maybe he should just scurry back to his room and sleep the rest of this shite evening off, and try to forget it. Even if he’d been so, so close…

He looked around for the rest of his costume, to get dressed. “Enh.”

The warmth of her clammy, naked skin was pressing against him again, holding herself to his back. “Wait. Please wait.”

“Why. Ya made your point, darl. I get it. I’m fucking off.”

“Please just wait for a minute. I know what I said was mean, and awful. And the way I treated you was… Junkrat…Is it okay if I call you Jamison? Your real name?”

“Why?”

“I don’t know…because it’s real? And calling someone names like ‘Junkrat’ or ‘Roadhog’ is really strange to me. Those are strange names. Especially to say during dinner. Which leads me to, um, would you like to go out to dinner? Or out for a boba? I’ll pay.”

Her fingers reached up and touched the side of his face where he’d been staring into space, and the yellow glint of his eyes darted back down to her. He’d heard that ladies were more complicated out here, out of the desert. And damned if he wasn’t used to being confused, but Mei was twisting his brain like a washrag.

“Are you askin’ me out on a date? Like right now? After all that?” he asked.

“It doesn’t have to be a date. If you want, it could just be an apology…?”

“Bloody…Mei, you’re chuckin’ mental ueys too fast here. First you hate me, then you like me, then you hate me again, but you’ve always sort of liked me…And then I should change but I should also be me because you like bein’ dirty but not…” He groaned, half collapsing atop her with his face wedging between her breasts again, so much so that his voice was muffled. “You gotta make up your goddamn mind, darl. Also I’d rather it be a date, thankyouverymuch.”

She pursed her lips down at him, reaching into her bosom to drag him out. “Then it’s a date. And it’s also kind of an apology, but it’s a date. And maybe it’ll be less confusing when we’re less drunk? I’m really sorry for tonight. Um. Except for the…you know. I kind of needed that. But I’m sorry for blurting out everything afterward. And some of the things before. And being…a bully.”

“I’m writing this down so I don’t forget it. This is ammo for next time you’re being a snit. You. Being a bully. Hehe!”

“Be serious, please. I really am sorry and I’ll make it up to you.”

He eyed her. He had to make it look like he was thinking it over. Because yeah he was still mad, but there was no way he was turning her down, even after everything.

“Arright. Twisted my arm just enough, love. Although just to warn you, get your wallet ready because I’m going to eat a lot. Like a lot.”

“Deal. And I mean it. I want us to figure things out…I mean, when we’re not drunk.”

It had been a hell of a Halloween. It wasn’t supposed to be this complicated. But she was a complicated lady and maybe he just needed time to sort this shit out. And she needed time to sort her shit out. And maybe they could discuss the rest of it at their next meeting. Their dinner. Their date.

She pressed herself against him once more, wrapping her arms around his narrow frame. And he relented, wrapping her back up in his long arms and crushing her to his ribs, pulling her halfway into his lap. He sat with his nose buried into her hair and his eyes closed, until they shot open a moment later when there was a wet sensation on his thighs. For half a moment he was unsure what it was, until Mei squirmed a little uncomfortably and he realized that she was now sitting upright and it was his semen leaking back out of her.

There was a lot. That really had been a champion load, and it had all been inside her. And even if it was just a bit gross…Fuck, that was hot. That was really, really hot. And if he just had a few more minutes, there was more where that came from. Already he felt a familiar twitch, and Mei glanced down knowingly as there was a sudden pressure starting to prod at her hip.

“Jamison…”

Her voice was low and husky and they could figure out all the rest of this complicated shit afterward. Right now, her fingertip was swirling temptingly around the ridges of his gaunt abdomen, and he could feel himself starting to rise back to the occasion.

He was grinning again. “Arright, so…do you still want toooo…?”

“Yes please.”

She leaned up to kiss him again, and he lay her down and pulled himself back atop her.

[not-close-to-straight]

All Your Edges (SWS #47)

SUNDAYS WITH SPIDEYPOOL MASTERLIST HERE

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“Hey baby!” Peter swung onto a rooftop, letting go of the web early because he knew he could fling himself at Wade and his boyfriend would catch him. “I missed you today!” 

“Hey Pete.” Wade set him down carefully and stepped away. “How’s tricks?” 

“God, they’d be so much better if you’d kiss me.” Peter laughed and ripped his mask off, flinging it aside and reaching for Wade’s, fully intent on smothering the Merc with a long messy kiss. “Come here. I haven’t seen you in a week and I am in desperate need of some good loving from my man. Come here, come on.” 

“Pete.” Wade caught Peter’s hands before they could get his mask off. “Why don’t we wait until we get back to your place and the bed, huh?” 

“Fine.” Peter play pouted up at him. “At least a kiss, then. I can wait to strip you naked and web you up until later.” 

“Thanks, babe.” Wade pulled him close for a hug, but Peter never got the kiss he wanted. 

And later that night, Wade complained that he was too tired for any real loving, even though he spooned real tight to Peter’s back all night long. 

The next morning, Wade left before Peter even woke up, slipping out the window with his mask on and heading back to his own place, and Peter sat in bed and wondered why Wade was acting so weird. 

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“Alright.” Peter found Wade on their regular roof top a few days later. “Alright, Wade. I was willing to let this go for a few days because we both go through periods where we need space and physical touch is a little too much, and I’m sorry if I was asking too much from you when I first got home. I was feeling a little touch starved and if you were feeling sort of no-touchee, I apologize for not noticing that.” 

“Pete.” Wade smiled at his boyfriends thoughtfulness. “No, it’s not anything like that.” 

“Okay then.” Peter inched closer and reached for Wade’s hand carefully. “Can you tell me why you don’t want anything to do with me lately?” 

“Peter Pumpkin, it has nothing to do with you.” 

“Really? Because not only did you never even kiss me hello after I was gone for a week, but you’ve been avoiding me for almost four days now. Please talk to me.” 

Peter waited patiently and Wade finally sighed and squeezed his hand. 

“It’s um-- I know I’m ugly, yeah?” 

“Wade---!” 

“No stop that.” Wade waved him off. “I know I’m ugly. Fucking hideous. It’s fine, just a fact of life, been living with it for ever. Its just-- um--”

“Talk to me.” Peter crawled onto Wade’s lap, straddling his thighs and pushing his nose into Wade’s neck. He knew the big mercenary couldn’t resist him when he was snuggled close like this, and of course it was always easier to talk when there was just physical contact and no eye contact. “Baby, talk to me please? This is making me crazy.” 

“Alright.” Wade wrapped both his arms around Peter and held him tight. “I know I’m ugly, its fine. But when I’m with you, I forget about it. I get comfortable not wearing my ask, comfortable walking around without a shirt on or whatever-- being with you made me forget that everyone else thinks I’m a monster.” 

“Wade--” 

“Hush.” A deep breath. “While you were gone, I got jumped. I was just wearing my plain mask and sorta skulking around some gang territory and got jumped by someone who obviously had no idea who I was.” 

Another deep breath. “He pulled a real pretty knife on me and I slapped that away because honestly, don’t bring a knife to a katana fight, and then he pulled a real pretty gun and I really wanted it for my collection so instead of walking away like you would have wanted me to, I decided to fight him and he managed to get my mask off and--” 

Peter waited a minute, then prompted, “And?” when Wade stopped. “And what, babe?” 

“And he laughed at me.” Quietly, as if the words hurt. “He laughed at me. Just like ‘damn son look at your fucking face, why do you even bother wearing the mask, out here lookin’ like Freddy Kreuger or some shit’. He kept telling me I looked like a freak show, like a horror story-- and the entire time, the entire time he kept laughing at me.” 

“I forget sometimes.” Wade’s arms tightened around Peter’s waist until it almost hurt. “You make me forget that I’m a freak, Pete. Make me forget I’m an unloveable, that I’m ugly. You loving me-- I forget it all, Pete. And when you’re gone it comes back in this real horrifying way and--” 

“Oh no no no.” Peter leaned away and pressed his palms to Wade’s mask, knowing the man was crying beneath it. “No, Wade, you aren’t any of those things. You aren’t. Is this why you wouldn’t kiss me? Why you didn’t want to get naked with me?” 

“I--” Wade looked away. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s why.” 

“Come here.” Peter stood to his feet and pulled Wade along with him. “Come here and lets go to my place and I’ll show you how beautiful you are.” 

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Back at Peter’s apartment, Wade was stretched out on the bed in the dark, fully clothed from his mask down to his gloves and his boots, and Peter was slowly, meticulously, getting his fingers over every single inch of his boyfriends body, every stitch on the costume until he had made it from Wade’s toes up to the top of his scalp. 

Then he started again, except this time, he pulled Wade’s boots off and massaged his feet. Reached up to pull Wade’s pants off and spent several long minutes on the muscled calves and thick thighs, not ignoring but not lingering over the thick but soft length against Wade’s thigh. 

This wasn’t about sex. Not tonight. 

Next was Wade’s shirt, and Peter just tore that, showing off a modicum of his ridiculous strength to shred the reinforced material. 

Then he put his mouth on Wade’s stomach and traced the line of every single scar, every bump and ridge, every overly-sensitive smooth patch, running his nose up the overly defined abdomen and counting the lines of Wade’s six pack, nibbling over his ribs, and squeezing over the big biceps up to the broad shoulders. 

“Can I have this?” the only words spoken since they had gotten back to the apartment, Peter’s fingers at the bottom of Wade’s mask. “Baby?” 

A nearly imperceptible nod and Peter pulled it off slowly, careful not to tear or snag it like he had done with the shirt, knowing that the mask was more than just part of the costume, for a long time it had been Wade’s security, the barrier between him and the rest of the world. 

Peter wouldn’t disrespect that by mistreating the mask, not at all. 

He set it gently aside, and then started dotting kisses all over Wade’s face-- down the strong jaw and up behind his ear, trailing down the earlobe. Across his forehead and up to his scalp, down his nose and to his lips. 

The entire time, Peter whispered, “All of me loves all of you. All your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections. Give your all to me and I’ll give my all to you. You’re my end and my beginning, even when I lose I’m winning.”

“Pete--” Wade tried to turn away and Peter brought him right back into a loving kiss. 

“How many time do I have to tell you, even when you’re crying you’re beautiful too, the world is beating you down, I’m around through every move.” 

“Pete.” Wade finally put his arms out for him, rolling them in the bed until he was on top and still Peter murmured--

“I love your curves and all your edges, Wade. All those perfect imperfections. Give your all to me--”

Wade kissed him, bent down and sealed their lips together, swallowing Peter’s next words, the next line of the song that had played on repeat the very first night they had been together, the very first time they had trusted each other with their hearts and their bodies. 

“God, I love you.” Peter whispered when Wade started tugging at his clothes, pulling the blankets up to cover their bodies as they moved together. “And if I have to stay by your side forever so you never forget it? That’s what I’m going to do.” 

“Baby boy, I might hold you to that.” 

“Wade, I wish you would.” 

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[roman-lynn-blog]

Wit It This Christmas || Romper

Where: Riverdale Center for the Arts, Clarington Residence When: December 24, evening Warnings: Sex (What’s new), Bareback Sex (That’s new) Word Count: 6,995

Harper in bold, Roman in italics

Christmas Eve was quiet in Riverdale; the local businesses were closed for the holiday,  families were tucked away at home, and the streets were pretty much empty. Save for one place, the Riverdale Center for the Arts, was hosting their final curtain call of the Nutcracker. The lot was filled with cars, the only form of outside entertainment for the evening being a popular hit. Friends and family all together for one last performance. 

Roman had put a lot of effort into making his presence a surprise. A front row ticket was waiting for him at Will Call, care of Hunter. His outfit, a light gray polo with black pants and black boots, was not his usual Serpent attire. He carried with him, a rose, wrapped up and freshly cut from the florist. He crept into the theatre, just as the lights were dimming down and sunk into his seat.

The performance was stunning, as was Harper. Roman couldn’t keep his eyes off of her as she gracefully moved across the stage. His eyes never once averted his gaze and his mouth grew dry as he watched with wonder. As the show came to a close, Roman stood with the rest of audience, clapping and whooping as loud as he could for Harper.

He didn’t think he had been noticed, and he moved to the side of the auditorium as he allowed friends and family to give their congratulations and well dones. He leaned against the wall, lip between his teeth, as he saw the object of his affection surrounded by all the people that loved her. Patiently waiting for his moment.

Harper had committed herself to making her last performance of the Nutcracker one that would count. She poured everything into the performance, practically gliding across the stage, her leaps and twirls perfect, her footwork as delicate as ever. When she came to her final stop, she held the pose in place for a moment, before straightening, smiling broadly as applause broke out. 

This was her element. This was what she lived for. The freedom that ballet brought her, the ability to imbue herself with a character through only the power of her movements to her music.

She made her way off the stage, and then returned later with the rest of the dancers to curtsy and bow to the crowd. Her face was flushed, but she felt happier than she had all week. She was born for the stage.

Harper finally made it backstage, carefully tugging a hoodie over her costume as she cooled down from her exertion. She left her dressing room to go find her friends and family. She gave her parents big hugs, accepting the flowers her daddy shoved into her hands, before she passed them to her mom to hold as she gave other admirers hugs and attention.

Eventually, the gaggle started to clear. Which was good. Harper was aching to let her hair out of its tight bun.  She kissed her parents on the cheeks and pushed them towards the door. When she turned back around, she gasped, catching sight of Roman. She hadn't been expecting him, and seeing him there, looking so gorgeous had her freezing in place, eyes wide, her mouth falling open a bit as the surprise caught up with her.

As soon as Harper’s eyes locked with his own, Romans lips pulled into a smile. He had succeeded in his mission to surprise her and the look on Harper’s face was priceless. He took a few steps forward, meeting her in the middle and extended out the rose towards her. “You were amazing up there”.

Roman’s eyes raked down Harper’s body, taking in the sight of her. She looked better than she had the other night at Pops, more composed. Her leotard was clinging to her in all the right places and Roman had to clear his throat to shake the dirty thoughts out of his head. “I’m surprised guys aren’t lined up to talk to you, prima ballerina”

Harper still felt stunned. She reached out and took the rose, her eyes wide, her cheeks going a bit red at his words. "Even if they were, there's only one I actually want to hear from," she murmured, looking down at the rose and back up at him. She couldn't believe that he was there, that he seemingly had watched the entire performance.

She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him burying her face in his neck,  not caring if she smeared her makeup. "I cannot believe you..." she managed. "Were you there the whole time?"

Roman chuckled, a slight flush creeping up his neck and into his cheeks. It lit a fire inside him, knowing that he was the only guy that Harper wanted. He was a possessive guy, even when he shouldn’t be. His eyes sparkled and he smiled, looking up at Harper.

When she leaned in for a hug, he wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her up slightly off the ground for just a minute. He put her down, and interlaced their hands, biting his lower lip. “Yeah”, he said demurely. “Hunter snagged me a front row ticket. I can’t believe you didn’t see me”

Harper squealed a bit when she was lifted, clinging to his shoulders, before laughing as she was set back onto the ground. "I can't believe the two of you planned this." She reached up to pull some bobby pins out of her hair, before tugging the elastic out of her hair, her locks falling down around her shoulders. 

"I get really in the zone when I'm dancing...I don't really see anything," she admitted. "I just become all about the movement and what my arms and legs and face are doing. Did you like it?"

Roman focused on Harper as she unpinned her hair, letting it down. She looked sexy in a messy way and Roman wasn’t having any of it. He gave her the once over and groaned to himself, “I’m sorry, you just look so good right now and I’m getting distracted”

He took her hand and led her through a door and into a back hallway. “I mean—I’m surprised he didn’t say anything. It was kind of last minute. But, he was a big help. Blaine too, he helped me pick out the outfit”. Roman let Harper give him a once over before he leaned in, pressing Harper into the wall behind her and kissed her. When he pulled away he was breathless, his eyes sparkling as they locked with hers. “You were amazing up there. The star of the show”, he said, tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear. 

Harper's stomach flipped at the way Roman was raking her eyes over her body, and suddenly she was more than eager to get out of there. She could come back for her bag tomorrow. It was safe in the dressing room anyways. "Don't be sorry."

She sighed when Roman kissed her, pressing her against the wall and taking her breath away. "Well, Blaine did a great job," she muttered, leaning in to nip at his lower lip. "You look pretty damn incredible." She pressed herself against him, winding her arms around his neck, going a bit red at the compliment as he fixed her hair. "Thank you. You don't understand how happy it makes me that you enjoyed it." She didn't know why it was so important to her that Roman had enjoyed the show...but ballet was so important to her, she was ecstatic that he hadn't gotten bored of it. 

Roman laughed, his hands unmoving from Harper's sides. He had made it his mission to look different, he didn't want to draw any negative attention to Harper on her big night by showing up in his Serpents jacket. That would have surely started the rumor mill and he didn't need to pile on any drama. He liked what Blaine had done to him, he looked more sophisticated and the looks he was getting from Harper were enough for him. "Thank you, gorgeous. "

"I couldn't look away", he said softly. He leaned in for another kiss, this one with more passion behind it, his tongue pushing past the barrier of her lips and seeking hers. There was a fire burning inside his chest that roared every time their lips smacked against the others. His initial intention wasn't sexual, but Harper was just stunning. When they finally pulled away, Roman's eyes had gone dark from lust, "I--this was not the plan. ", he admitted.

Roman always looked hot to Harper, and she had to admit that the Serpent jacket was kind of ridiculously attractive on him... but the fact that he'd made such an effort to look good for his surprise meant a great deal to Harper. It was incredibly sweet of him and Harper wasn't going to pretend seeing him all dressed up wasn't doing things to her.

She met Roman's lips eagerly, sinking into his embrace as their mouths moved against each other. She reached up to tangle her fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling lightly. When her lungs were finally burning for air, she pulled back, pressing her forehead against his. "Uh huh... so what was the original plan?" She whispered into the air between the two of them.

Roman wet his lips, pulling his lower lip between his teeth as he smirked. He hadn't really thought out the events that would unfold after surprising Harper. Sex hadn't been in the cards, or so he thought. He had assumed since it was Christmas Eve that she would be spending time with her family. "There was no original plan past surprising you." His eyes drifted down Harper's body and he felt his arousal start to stir. "Fuck, you are gorgeous" Harper smirked a little at the expression on Roman's face. She adored knowing that she had this power over him, knowing that she could turn him on in a few gentle touches and words. "Well you executed your part pretty perfectly," she murmured. She thought for a moment. She'd had plans to surprise him with a special outfit later... but if he was free now, well... "How 'bout I give you a surprise now, handsome? I've got something special ready in my room. I think you've earned it." 

Roman’s mouth went dry at the thought. He had no idea what Harper had in store for him, but he could only assume it was some sort of sexy surprise. His mind raced with all sorts of scenarios, making the issue he was having worse. His thumb brushed over Harper’s hip and he cocked his head slightly to the side. “Oh yeah? And what might that surprise be?”, he asked curiously.

Harper leaned in to kiss him again, nipping at his lip before she trailed her lips over to his ear. "That'd ruin the surprise. It'd be better if you got to experience it first hand," she purred before tugging at his earlobe gently with her teeth. "C'mon, Rome, the faster you get me home, the faster you'll get to find out."

The hairs on the back of Roman’s neck stood up straight, a shiver going down his spine as Harper whispered into his ear. He groaned inwardly, his eyes rolling back as he took a step away from Harper. “You’re going to be the death of me”, he said as he adjusted the bulge in his pants to be somewhat less noticeable. “Do you need anything or can we go?”

Harper giggled, taking a step back but reaching to intertwine their hands. "I've got a bag in my dressing room," she admitted, quickly leading him down the hallway so that she could grab it and they could get out of here. "And you'd better not die on me. You'd be hard to replace." Once she was in the dressing room, she grabbed her duffle, and toed off her pointe shoes, slipping into a regular pair of shoes instead, before turning back to him. "Alright, we can go."

Roman followed as Harper led him backstage to her dressing room, eyeing her as she moved gracefully. He took a moment, once she was through running about, to pull her in for a kiss. It was short but full of passion, enough to get his point across.

This time it was his turn to lead her down the hallway and out into the lobby, dodging the small crowd of people that were still chatting about the performance. He whisked her through the double doors and led her to his bike. “You trust me?”, he asked, the helmet extended out for her to take.

Roman's kiss was short but so, so good, and Harper regretted that she had to pull back. Still, better things would await once he got her home. She was excited to pull her outfit out and give him a show.

She waved at a few people in the hallway as they made their way outside to Roman's bike. At his question, she smiled brightly and nodded. "Completely." She took the helmet and put it on, her stomach flip flopping, half with nerves and half with excitement at the prospect of riding his bike.

Roman smiled at how little hesitation came from Harper, as he took a seat on his bike. He didn’t ride with others often, but when he did, he was safe about it. Riding his bike was a thrill and Roman wanted Harper to embrace it without worrying about an accident. He as well, felt more comfortable when his passenger was at ease.

He patted the space behind him and awaited Harper to slide on before revving the engine to life. “Feet up”, he instructed as he kicked off the kickstand. “And hold tight to me. Don’t let go”, he said above the roar of the engine before he took off towards her house

Harper climbed on, slotting herself onto the bike behind Roman, keeping her feet up as instructed. She wrapped her arms around his waist tightly, smiling into his shoulder. "Yes sir," she said over the growl of the engine.

She shrieked when he took off, but dissolved into giggles as he sped through the town. She held on for dear life, feeling equal parts thrilled and terrified. She let out a breath, the wind blowing the hair poking out from under the helmet behind her, and tried to relax into it. It was probably kind of inappropriate but the vibration of the bike between her thighs was doing nothing to sate her appetite for him. 

Roman took off and sped through town, enjoying the feel of the wind on his face and Harper’s hand around his waist. He zoomed past the town center, slowing as they approached the giant Christmas tree that seemed to light up the entire town.

It was only a few moments before they pulled up to the Clarington residence, Romans bike skidding to a stop at the gate. He could see Harper’s parents just entering the house, seemingly just getting home and he swallowed. Hunter might know about him and be somewhat okay with the idea of a Southsider being with his sister, but he couldn’t say the same for her parents. “We good?”

Harper took the helmet off, shaking her hair loose, and then leaned in to press a kiss to Roman's neck. "It's fine. Give them a few minutes to disappear into their room and we won't see them again. They don't like leaving their lair and interacting with the staff more than necessary."

She was half-joking but her parents really did loathe spending more time with the rabble than they thought necessary. Now that they'd fulfilled their parental duties by seeing her perform, she doubted they'd need her attention for the rest of the evening.

She slid off the bike, squeezing her thighs together as she attempted to hide how hot riding it had made her, but she didn't know if the flush she could feel on her face was giving her away. She hoped he'd think it was the cold.

Roman’s arousal had time to subside, the entire ride from RAC to the Clarington residence giving him time to settle down. From over his shoulder, he watched as Harper took the motorcycle helmet off, her hair falling down against her shoulders. It was a super hot image that Roman was going to store away for when he was alone. Serpent jacket, leather pants, boots, and a motorcycle helmet. He shook himself out of his thoughts, tightening his grip on the handlebars.

He killed the engine, not wanting to call attention to the fact to his bike and stepped off to the side. When the coast was clear, he pushed his bike through the gate and dropped the kickstand. He grabbed Harper’s hand and urged her towards the main entrance. “After you, gorgeous”

Harper giggled, feeling excited, and grabbed onto Roman's fingers, pulling him towards the house. "Riding with you was fun," she admitted as they walked through the gate and up the path to the front door. "I certainly wouldn't mind doing it again."

Her daddy would probably have a heart attack if he ever caught her on the back of a motorcycle but frankly she didn't have it in her to care. Once they reached the front door, she typed in the passcode to open the front door, and then pulled him inside, kicking the door shut behind them. She peered down the hall, and as she expected, the coast was clear. "Come on, hot stuff," she said, leading him to her room. "I believe I owe you a surprise."

Roman couldn’t help but laugh to himself, using his free hand to laugh into as Harper pulled him towards the front door. “Sorry, I couldn’t help but hear that riding me was fun, but I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. You look super hot on it”

Roman followed Harper through the halls and up the stairs to her bedroom. He could see a few lights on in the house, behind closed doors, which he could only assume were her parents or Hunters room. When the door shut behind them, he pulled Harper in for a kiss, pressing her back against the door frame.

Harper giggled, and then leaned in so that she could whisper into his ear. "Well that's certainly more than just fun,  but I enjoy it a lot too," she murmured, squeezing his fingers as they finally stumbled into her room.

She sighed against his mouth when Roman kissed her, letting him manhandle her against the door. She wrapped her arms around his neck and exchanged heated kisses with him for a few minutes, before finally pulling back completely to breathe. "You need to sit down while I go get ready for your surprise."

Roman stood stunned for a moment, licking his lips as he caught his breath. His pupils were dilated, eyes dark with lust. His hands itched to run over Harper’s lean torso and to rid her of all her clothing. His cock was hard, aching to be let out of his jeans.

He stumbled over to the bed and took a seat on the edge, eagerly awaiting whatever surprise Harper had in store for him. 

Harper grinned at the dazed look on Roman's face, before she walked past him, grabbing a few bags from her closet and disappearing into her ensuite bathroom to get changed.

She'd contemplated what kind of lingerie to get for Christmas for ages. Eventually deciding to go for something  a little bolder than a classic red and white...swapping the white for black, and pairing it with thigh high faux-leather stockings took it over the edge. She slipped out of her clothes, before pulling on the hooded baby doll and matching panties [x], before the thigh highs followed suit. She slipped her feet into her best pair of "fuck me" heels, and then glanced at herself in the mirror.

Her dance makeup would not do for this. Instead she made her eyes smokier, and painted her lips a bold, deep red. She ran her fingers through her hair, once, twice and then decided she was ready.

She pressed a button on her phone, and Ariana Grande's 'Wit It For Christmas' [x] started to play on the speakers in her room, and with that, she opened the bathroom door, revealing herself to Roman, before she began dancing towards him, every movement sultry. 

Waiting for Harper was torture, especially considering he didn’t know what was to come. He waited two minutes, then five, then ten, silently contemplating what the big surprise was. He leaned back on his hands, head tilted up as he sat there on the bed.

He heard the door click open and his head immediately jerked towards the noise. What he saw made his jaw drop, his eyes widen, and a small noise creep out. “Oh..my..fuck”.  The speakers In Harper’s room started to play and he pushed himself up to his feet. “You look—“

Harper smirked at the look on Roman's face, and continued to move towards him, swaying her hips to the music and playing with the hem of her baby doll, teasing him with the prospect of taking it off.

As he approached her, she shook her head. "Uh, uh, uh, no touching. This is a performance," she purred, pushing him back down onto the bed, and then straddling him, grinding her hips down but keeping an eye on his hands to make sure they didn't move.

Roman’s eyes raked over Harper’s body, the lingerie that she was wearing was just revealing enough to see all the curves of her body. He reached up to touch Harper’s arm, only to be pushed back down onto the bed. Letting out a small groan, Roman’s breath hitched as Harper climbed into his lap and ground her hips down on his groin. 

Roman’s eyes rolled to the back of his head for just a moment before he reopened them, not wanting to miss a second of the sight before him.  He leaned in to kiss her, placing his hands on her hips. “Baby...”

Harper pressed a finger to his lips, stopping him in his tracks even as his pet name had her stomach flipping. She wanted to give in so badly, but teasing Roman was so much more fun.

She pulled away from him, rolling her hips, before she turned and strutted back away from him, shooting a sultry look over her shoulder before she descended into a split. She stretched her legs back in and got back onto her knees, before crawling back towards him, biting her lip and looking at him through her lashes.

All Roman wanted to do was scoop Harper up in his arms and have his way with her. He slouched slightly as Harper moved away from him, teasing him with every twist, turn, and roll of her hips. His eyes were trained on her as he watched her move into a split. He couldn’t help but palm himself, covering the bulge in his pants with his hand.

He licked his lips as she made her way back to him, crawling on the floor until she was right between his knees. “Baby, please”, he begged.

Harper smiled fondly at him, before she climbed back into his lap. She removed his hands from his groin, and then twisted around so she could grind her ass against his crotch. She swiveled her hips and then turned back around, leaning in so that her breasts were right at eye level, and then she leaned in and whispered the last few lines of the song against his mouth.

"Are you with it this Christmas?" She purred, before pressing her lips against his as the music faded into the background.

Roman’s hands, although removed from where he was pressing at his bulge, moved to Harper’s hips, feeling every bit of her grinding her ass over him. When she turned, he didn’t allow his hands to move, needing to touch her. The music faded out as Harper whispered the last line and he eagerly flew forward to capture his lips in his.

He whined into her mouth, pulling her closer to his body. When he finally pulled away from the kiss, their noses knocking against one another, he cursed. “Fuck, Merry Christmas to me, huh?”

Harper laughed against his mouth as they kissed, and then she pulled back to breathe, wrapping her arm around his neck. "Merry Christmas. Did you like your surprise?" She murmured, demurely, wrapping a loose lock of hair around her finger and biting her lip.

She knew the answer of course, but something about Roman's reaction to her all dolled up for him had her buzzing and she wanted to prolong it as much as possible. She was already turned on from the way his eyes had practically burned as she'd danced... she just wanted him to snap now and manhandle her into whatever positions he wanted.

Roman chose not to respond to Harper, instead deciding to have Harper wrap her legs around his middle. He could feel the shape of her through her panties, where she was hot and wet and apparently waiting for him. 

The following kiss was rough and messy, off center as he desperately searched for a release. He rolled them over, pinning Harper’s arms to the mattress. “Your turn to not touch”, he growled out

Harper met Roman's lips hungrily, pressing herself up against him, feeling his hardness against her core. She couldn't suppress the small squeal when he rolled her over, but she was more than happy with this new arrangement.

"I suppose that's fair," she breathed out, biting her lower lip as he pinned her down with those strong, gorgeous arms that she adored. "You sound frustrated, Ro... are you going to fix that?"

Harper’s teasing was relentless and Roman clenched his jaw, his arousal getting to be too much for him. He moved her hands together, so he was able to use one arm to hold both of hers down. He was able to easily pull the knot out of her top, giving him direct access to her neck.

He fixed his grip on her hands and nipped at the newly exposed skin. He felt wild and slightly possessive and he began to suck a dark mark right below her ear, pressing his cock down against her.

God, Roman was even hotter than usual when he was so tense and frustrated. Harper couldn't get enough of it, of him. She whined when he shifted his grip, pinning her down with only one hand while the other got busy getting her out of the baby doll.

"Fuck," she whimpered as he started to mouth at her neck. The pain-pleasure sent tingles up her spine, and she pushed her hips up to meet his body, a choked moan escaping her. "M-more." 

 After a minute or so, Roman pulled back, admiring his handiwork, the hickey on Harper’s neck, working him up. Everyone would be able to see the mark and everyone would know that she was spoken for.

Per her request, Roman grinned and thrust his hips downwards. “Yeah? You miss my cock, gorgeous?”

Harper tried to move to wrap her arms around him, forgetting momentarily that she was still pinned to her mattress. She made a soft, frustrated noise in the back of her throat, wanting to touch him.

"So much. Been aching for it. I feel so empty," she murmured, moaning as he continued to grind against her, making the wetness between her legs grow.

Roman smirked as Harper made an attempt to move her arms and he shook his head playfully. “No touching.”, he directed again. He unpinned Harper’s arms and made quick work of her top, completely ridding of the babydoll top and tossing it to the side of the bed.

His tongue peeled out and flicked at her nipple, his hand cupping her breast. He lifted his lower half so that she couldn’t grind against him anymore, “Hot”, he whispered 

Harper whined. This wasn't fair. Her no touching had been part of her performance. Roman was just teasing. She found it in her to protest only with a high whine of pleasure as he ridded her of her top, and then mouthed at her nipple.

"Fuck, p-please," she choked out, fingers winding into her sheets to keep from grabbing at him. Still, her hips thrust of fruitlessly, searching for any kind of contact to ease the ache between her legs. "Want you." 

Roman restrained himself from letting out a chuckle, happy that Harper was following direction and not touching, despite her obvious need. He switched to her other breast, taking the nipple between his lips and sucking on it, flicking it with his tongue as his thumb and forefinger worked on the other. 

He slid down her body, pressing kisses from her breast past her navel until he got to the edge of her panties. He breathed over her, hot and wanting. He took the edge of them in his hands, pushing to the side. “Please, what, gorgeous?”

Harper whimpered, the stimulation of her nipples feeling like a direct line of pleasure to her clit. Every flick of Roman's tongue had her abs quivering as she tried her hardest not to just cave in and pull him against her.

"Fuck me," she finally whined out in response to his question. She shuddered as she felt his breath so close to where she wanted his mouth. Her thighs twitched but she kept herself from thrusting up against his face. "Want anything, everything, y-your mouth, that gorgeous fucking cock, Rome, please." 

Roman grinned, getting the response he wanted and with a broad swipe of his tongue over her pussy, he had her wrapped around his finger.  He spread her legs, giving him enough space to wrap his arms around her thighs so he could maneuver her whichever way he liked. He didn’t stay in one spot for too long, dipping his tongue into her entrance before fumbling his way up to her clit.

His cock was aching now, desperate to have and take and to sink right into her. He ground his hips against the mattress, the feeling only worsening, as he continued his ministrations. 

Harper's eyes rolled back into her head, her thighs shaking in Roman's grip as he expertly worked her clit and cunt with his talented tongue. She wanted to roll her hips up for more but Roman's hands were holding her tightly in place and she happily surrendered herself over to whatever pleasure he would give her.

 "Please, please, please," she whined, clenching and unclenching her hands as she tossed her head back and forth, heels digging into the mattress as she felt more slick drip out of her and onto her sheets. She felt messy and depraved in the best way possible, and she just wanted Roman to give her what she needed.

Roman shared Harper’s desperate pleas as it had been two weeks since they had been together. With Harper wet and begging, Roman removed his mouth and went for the button on his jeans. He stumbled with the enclosure, eager hands frantically working to free his cock. By chance he got lucky, getting his jeans open and shimmying them down his legs along with his boxer briefs. 

He pulled his polo up and off his frame, turning back to Harper. He connected their mouths together in a heated kiss, his cock pressing at her hip. “Please tell me you have a condom”, he pleaded against her mouth. 

Harper let out a pleased noise as Roman started to strip down, revealing his cock.  She moaned against his mouth, nipping at his lip and then ground her hips up against his hard length, panting as he pulled away. 

At his words, she let out a disgruntled noise, and reached back, pulling her bedside drawer open. She rooted around in it for a few moments and then groaned. "I'm all out, fuck." 

Roman dropped his head, groaning at their bad luck. He had one of four options and none of them sounded even remotely pleasing to him. They could run out to whatever store was still open late on Christmas Eve, although chances of that seemed slim. They could suck it up and ask Hunter and risk the embarrassment. They could stick to using their hands and mouths or they could just go for it.

He didn’t want to take the lead on the situation, he didn’t know if Harper was on birth control or what exactly to do. “Fuck...what—what do you think?”

Harper sighed, weighing out their options. If Hunter hadn't been home, she could've snuck into his room and grabbed one of his... but he'd barely left his room lately and Sebastian lived there now, and she was not going to face that humiliation all over again. Hunter's room and her sex life were not interacting ever again.

"I... I'm on the pill," she murmured, stroking a hand through his hair. "You're clean, right?"

Roman’s cock twitched against Harper’s thigh. The trust in her voice as she asked that question making him groan. He nodded his head, still somewhat stunned that she might actually be willing to have sex without a condom.

“I—yeah”, Roman said, swallowing a breath. “I haven’t been with anyone else in like a month and I always use a condom”

Harper pulled him down and kissed him slowly, trying to convey through her actions that she trusted him with this. She was a little nervous, but mostly she felt calm. She'd meant when she didn't think Roman would ever hurt her willingly, so this was a chance she was willing to take to be with him, and that was more than just the haze of sexual frustration speaking.

"O-okay...," she breathed as she pulled back, shooting him a soft, trusting smile. "Then have your way with me, handsome."

A cold shiver went down Roman’s spine and he allowed himself to fall deeper into the kiss. He moaned into Harper’s mouth, his lower half still pressed flush against her hip. This was not to be taken lightly—his nerves had him on the edge of arousal. He needed the confirmation from Harper at the very least, “Y—you’re sure? And...you’ve not been with anyone?”, he asked, biting his lip.

Harper pulled back, smiling fondly at him and nodded. “I’m positive. I trust you. And I haven’t been with anyone else in ages either,” she reassured him, combing her hand through his now-messy hair. This was a big deal, a moment that carried a great deal of weight, but Harper’s nerves did nothing to quell her want for him.

Roman nodded once, his ego stroked by the idea that Harper hadn’t been with somebody else. Without hesitation, Roman leaned in to kiss Harper, connecting their lips in a heated kiss. “Fuck..okay, yeah”, he said fumbling around and taking his cock in hand. He watched as he entered Harper, unsheathed, nothing barring the feeling of warmth surrounding him. “Shit..” Roman whispered against Harper’s lips.

Harper kissed him back eagerly, feeling butterflies in her belly at what was about to transpire. She let out a breath against his lips as Roman started to press into her, and she tensed up slightly at the unfamiliar feeling of bare skin in her, rather than the latex she was used to. It made a dirty shiver go up her spine but she couldn't find it in her to care. She stilled for a moment, trying to adjust to the stretch, and then slowly relaxed around him, blinking her eyes open to meet his. "That feels... wow."

Roman looked into Harper's eyes, feeling vulnerable at that very moment. He had never fucked anyone bare before, and honestly it was an experience. His cock felt like it was wrapped in velvet, Harper's pussy squeezing around him as she adjusted to the stretch of him. When she finally spoke, Roman gave in and began to move, thrusting forward into her, his breath catching. "Fuck, Harper..." Roman's heart sped up and he grabbed at her leg, lifting it off to the side to get a better angle. "You feel--fuck"

Harper couldn't help but giggle breathlessly against him, the reality of the whole situation hitting her. She clenched around him as he started to move, her head falling back as pleasure started to spark up her spine. She moaned when he shifted, hitting deeper into her. "Rome, babe, god," she gasped out, reveling in the feeling of his bare cock fucking her. "Th-this is incredible."

Roman thrusts into Harper were slow and precise, wanting the rush of pleasure he was feeling to last. He leaned in to kiss Harper, tilting her chin so he could nibble down her neck, lightly pressing at the hickey he had made earlier. He groaned against her skin, sweat falling from his brow, “Fuck, baby. You feel so good around me”

Harper whimpered and tilted her head back to give Roman further access to her neck. "Mark me up," she begged, arching up against him, tightening her legs around his body as Roman found a consistent rhythm. She tangled a hand in his hair, pulling at the locks at the nape of his neck as her core tightened up. "Yeah? You like being in me bare?"

Roman let out a growl against Harper’s ear, sucking on the skin behind to start a mark. Having her legs around his waist made it easier for him to thrust inside of her, feeling every bit of her as he plunged into her. “Yeah,” He said, slightly out of breath, “Fuck—You—it’s so fucking good.”

Harper clenched around him, feeling more slick gush out of her as Roman fucked even deeper into her. She felt feverish with pleasure, and she rolled her hips up to meet his thrusts. She scratched down his back, uncaring of whether she broke the skin, too caught up in the feeling of having him in her, raw and bare, after so long. "Nnngh, can't wait for you to come in me," she whined, feeling nearly incoherent with lust.

Roman quickened his pace, fucking into Harper’s pussy without abandon. Her words spurred him on and he pressed his lips to hers, desperate and messy. “Yeah?”, he questioned between thrusts. “Gonna fill your pussy, baby. Gonna—fuck”, he mumbled against her lips.

Harper nipped at his lip, her thighs shaking around him as he picked up the pace, fucking into her with string strokes that had her quaking. “Please, please, want it,” she begged. She hadn’t thought fucking bare would be any sort of kink for her but as usual, Roman brought out a whole new side of her.

Roman only needed a few more thrusts before he could feel the clenching in his stomach, his balls drawing up towards the rest of his body letting him know that he was close. He maneuvered them so that he was able to snake a hand between their bodies, his thumb swiping at her clit as he fucked into her. He pressed their lips together once more, holding out for Harper to come first. “Come on, baby. Fuck—come for me”

Harper whimpered, raking her nails down Roman’s back again as he started to work her clit, a whole new wave of pleasure rolling over her. She tightened her legs around him, pushing her hips up into his hand, and then cried out at his command. Her eyes rolled back into her head, she clenched hard around his cock, and gushed around him as she came with a soft sob of his name.

Roman gasped, cutting off a groan as Harper came against him. It was an exciting feeling, having her come around his cock, completely bare. He felt like he was going to go wild, the nails on his back and the clenching around him, making him lose his grip. With a few final thrusts, Roman closed his eyes and lowered his head, coming inside of Harper, her name in his lips. “H-Harper, fuck.” He rode out the aftershocks of his orgasm, still fucking into Harper as his cock started to soften.

Harper was still riding the waves of her orgasm when she felt Roman spill into her. It was a strange feeling, but it felt dirty in a good way and she kind of loved the idea of him leaving a piece of himself in her. She leaned up to kiss him, running her fingers through his hair as he panted against her. She smiled fondly at him. “That was... incredible.”

Roman allowed his breath to slow to a steady pace before he pulled out of Harper. He stared in wonder as a small amount of his come leaked out of her and his cock gave an interested twitch. “Christ...”, he whispered, flopping onto his back and pulling Harper on top of him, her head leaning on his shoulder. “That was...fuck. Yet again, you killed me, baby”

Harper's breath hitched as Roman pulled out of her, and she instinctively squeezed her thighs together to keep more of him from leaking out. She giggled breathlessly as he pulled her on top of him, but settled happily against his shoulder, relaxing into the weight of his body under hers. "It's a pattern for us... you should get used to it," she murmured, pressing a kiss to his chest. "Tonight was full of all sorts of surprises."

Roman rolled his head to the side, tilting Harper’s chin up so he could kiss her, slow and sweet. Her words wrapped around his heart, making it thump out of his chest. He hoped that this feeling never went away. Roman wrapped his arm instinctively around her waist and pulled the duvet over their lower halves.  “I plan on it.”, he whispered.

[imjusttryingtoenjoymylongrest]

More post punk/grunge/goth Pennywise head cannon (sfw!!)

let me doodle with my mind for a moment.

-pennywise likes going to concerts. he reeeeaaaaally loves going to concerts

-but the kind that are in LA and less than 500 people go and its mostly 18-25 yr olds like LA youth sort of. 

-Loves to get all dark and dressed up for it. looking like a goddamn badass PUNK 

-maybe he wears a lil glitter on his arms cuz WHY NOT 

-pennywise with a mohawk (swooOON)

-boots. maybe a platformed boot. def would hurt if he stepped on u. spikes and buckles on the boots (more swoon)

-he fuckin moshes like a GOD. always in the middle of everything. the only way you can pick him out is from his sheer height and the damn orange hair

-he has a neverending stamina of cOURSE

-”babe. babe, babe you got to come in the pit it's so great you are going to fucking lose ur mind c’mon c’mon” as he starts to pull you towards the homogenous mass of sweaty bodies

-since moshing isn’t 100% ur thing you sort of hesitate but he drags u in regardless with the “do you trust me” smirk and eye look cuz he wants u to “experience the music the only true way” 

-he pushes you to go places and experience things and doesn't let you stay home ever. you never regret going out because he always says “do you trust me?” and the experiences always end up being legendary

-he laughs so damn hard when you emerge from moshing and you are so sweaty and breathless and he just jumps right back in, yanking you back towards the swarm

-if you get knocked over in the pit, he always picks you back up before you hit the ground and makes you keep going 

-he knows all the words to every song (cuz he knows everything...what do you think he does during his long rest? listens to all the music duh) and he yells and screams and is just so into it

-when and if there is a slow song, he stands behind you with his arms around your body and he’s swaying slightly and you can hear the vibrations of him singing thru his chest (he got a nice voice too)

- he looks so cool when the colored lights hit his eyes...they are always sparkling when he’s in his element

-he's always the first to be screaming for an encore, leaning over the barrier

-you wonder how the hell you will ever keep up with his energy and eventually succumb to it and just go and forget that tired is even a thing

- seeing him bounce around and dance and close his eyes and feel the music makes your heart just burst because he’s in his own little world and decided to invite you in

- the ride home, he drives and listens to the songs the band played in the car (on really low), hand on your THIGH and he's tapping his thumb to the beat and that makes u real tired and you drift off....

-when you get home, you are so exhausted and he carries you to the house and you open your eyes slightly to see him smiling and humming to himself 

-since you are so tired he just undresses u and puts you in an oversized tee that he got at the concert and u fall asleep before you even remember getting in bed. 

-he lays next to you all night inhaling ur concert scent (weed and sweat mostly idk why he would like this who knows it made better sense in my head)

-he puts the concert tickets up on the wall in his sewer cuz he had sooo much fun with you and he looks at them every once in a while and touches them and smiles (lil sentimental brat)

-he loves introducing new music to you and he makes new Spotify playlists

-when he picks you up from work or a public place he's always JAMMIN the fuck out to some obscure loud thrashy music and you cant even get embarrassed anymore cuz seeing him happy makes u happy

(I really like writing Pennywise in more modern circumstances and personally, I am partial to good style so I am not a HUGE fan of the costume but that's cool if you are. I like how everyone has their own lil niche of how they see him.  I hope some of y’all dig mine! im thinking of writing one about going to a carnival or staying in a cabin during winter, playing board games, grocery shopping...Im waiting for a good scenario to put him in and yall get freaky af but its still in the works because location is everything)

[5hfanfiction]

Love Will Remember

Chapter Thirty: Trick or Treating with You

The traffic crawled up the hill, a turtle could’ve moved faster than the cars that were barely moving. Two lines of vehicles, each were capable of surpassing over 100 kilometres were going barely over 20 kilometres every other minute. 

In each car, the driver sat with the radio on that played their favourite songs or the news, trying to find out the source of the congestion. Some talked on cell phones or texted.

Eventually, the traffic stopped moving. Persons stepped out of their cars, sighed in frustration and sat on the hood of it; waiting to get back onto their way.

Sirens were heard, but no ambulance was seen. It was just another day in the city. One person’s misfortune became the inconvenience of the many.

After about half an hour, realizing she would be going nowhere; Lauren Jauregui stepped out of her Jaguar and slammed the door in frustration, she leaned up against her car, running her hands through her hair; which she now removed from its ponytail, she sighed heavily.

Unknowingly to her, someone was watching her from a car away.

She stayed like that for 15 minutes until she grew impatient, pushing off her car, she stuck her head back into her vehicle and honked it’s horn.

“For fucks sake. Hurry up and clear the damn roads!” she yelled in frustration and kicked her car tire.

“You okay there, Miss?” the person asked as they stepped out of their old, run down red sedan.

The woman turned her head to come face to face, with a gorgeous brown eyed brunette. If Lauren hadn’t been so madly in love with Camila, she would’ve definitely tried to get the woman’s number.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She grumbled. “Not like we’re stuck in traffic that isn’t even moving,” she gestured with her hands. “Some people have places to be.”

“I’m not blind. I can see that we’re stuck in traffic,” she chuckled which caused the green eyed girl to scoff. “You’re not very patient aren’t you?” she asked smirking.

“Do I know you?” Lauren asked ignoring the woman’s question. She was clearly annoyed that she was being spoken to. She hadn’t even had her morning coffee and she wasn’t in the mood to deal with anyone.

The brunette laughed. “Nah, you don’t.” Lauren took her eyes off the woman; she saw that people were starting to get back into their, maybe the road was being cleared up. The CEO breathed a sigh of relief and turned to enter into her car. “But I know you,” she said softly.

The green eyed woman hadn’t heard it, just like everyone else, she was going to head back into her car, but she was stopped by the strange woman.

“I have this for you,” she said as she pulled an envelope out of her pocket and handed it to Lauren who looked at it in confusion.

She furrowed her eyebrows. “Who…who gave this to you?”

The woman just smiled, patted the CEO gently on the back, before getting back into her red sedan. “You’re smart, Lauren. Act like it.” She winked at her before driving off.

Lauren stared at the envelope for a few seconds before the blowing of horns caused her to realize just where she was. She got into her vehicle and drove off until she reached somewhere she could’ve pulled off the road.

Lauren tore the envelope open and pulled out the letter from it.

Dearest Lauren,            I’m sorry if you’re getting confused but as I said before…it would be worth it. There’s a special place that you must go to, where you put your happiness aside and spent the day doing something you never imagined that you would be doing…especially on Halloween. 

Signed, Back to December

“What does all this bullshit mean?” she crumpled the paper and slammed her fist against the steering wheel. “I’m not in the mood for games.”

She tumbled the ignition and the car roared back to life.

Lauren got back onto the highway, her foot on the gas, as she sped, weaving in and out of cars. She got to a private road, which was literally in the middle of nowhere; again, she pulled aside and took out her phone.

“Wassup, Lauser?” Dinah’s voice boomed through the speakers of the iPhone. “I can’t believe you’re calling me. I feel so special.”

The green eyed woman rolled her eyes. “Dinah, do you remember your family’s cottage near Lake Harmony?”

“Yeah I do. I haven’t been there in a while though. Why are you asking?” There were muffled voices in the background that the older woman couldn’t quite make out. “Guys! Shut up!” Dinah whisper-yelled.

Lauren chose to ignore her friend’s last statement. “I was um – wondering if I could head on there. But I don’t have a key. Do you think the security would let me in?” she queried.

The Hansens, had bought a little cottage near Lake Harmony many years ago; so whenever it was the holidays; both families would go there and spend some time together, occasionally it would be the group of friends along with Lauren’s younger sister.

They hadn’t been back there in years, the last being Halloween many years ago. Over the years, as the women grew up, they chose to go clubbing instead of spending time in the outdoors.

“Why do you want to go there? It’s been years.” Dinah asked.

Lauren sighed heavily. “Listen, can I go or not? I’m not in the mood to explain to you every little aspect of my life.”

“Well…I guess you can try.” She sighed, “Just tell the security that I gave you permission.”

“Okay. Thank you. Bye.” She didn’t wait for a response; she hung up and drove off. It only took a couple of minutes until Lauren came to a halt near a security booth, which had a barrier blocking the road from unwanted guests from entering.

“Hi. I’m Lauren Jauregui. I’m headed to the Hansen cottage. Dinah Jane Hansen gave me permission.”

The security nodded. “Yes, Ms Hansen called a few moments ago. You may proceed.” The man dressed in the security uniform stepped out of the booth, handed Lauren a key then approached the barrier, to allow her vehicle through. “Have a good evening, Miss Jauregui.”

***

*Hansen Cottage*

Slamming the door shut, Lauren pulled the cottage’s key out of her pocket and jabbed it into the lock. The door opened and she entered the Lake house, to be greeted to the aroma of flowers. Dinah’s family was always fond of that; it made them feel as though they were back home in Tonga.

Shutting the door, Lauren ventured further into the room. She was hit with a sense of familiarity. This was one of the places she and Camila had spent some time together. The cottage was well kept as there were persons who came in every so often to clean it.

This cottage held a lot of memories; for Lauren especially. She walked around the living room and stopped when she came across a bowl of candy that was situated nicely under the framed photograph of both Camila and Lauren; dressed up in their costumes a few years ago. The woman furrowed her eyebrows and picked up a candy bar. The receiving of letters was starting to creep her out. She couldn’t understand why someone would want to be doing this in the first place. 

Shuffling was heard coming from inside. Was someone here? Dinah said she hadn’t been back here in years. So how was there fresh candy in here? Everything should’ve been spoiled by now.

“HELLO?!” Lauren yelled out.

She placed the candy bar down and grabbed the nearest makeshift weapon; which was lava lamp. She then went to move around the cottage to see if she found anyone.

Upon opening every single door, she turned up empty handed.

There was rustling coming from outside and the green eyed woman could’ve sworn she saw a hooded figure staring right at her. The moment she shut her eyes and opened them back, the figure was no longer there.

Slowly, Lauren tiptoed and peered through the window.

No one was there.

“God. I must be going crazy,” she muttered to herself.

The green eyed woman headed back into the living room. She stopped in front of the picture over the bowl of candy and removed it from the wall. She held it in her hands and stared at Camila. The younger version to the woman she was still hopelessly in love with, was dressed up in a Princess Jasmine outfit while, yet again, the green eyed woman was in a vampire costume.

The younger Lauren had her arm slung over Camila’s shoulder, whilst the both girls were baring toothy grins. Dinah and Normani had planned a Halloween party and they sort permission from the Hansens to have it in the cottage.

Besides the girls, they invited a couple others of their college friends. A party wasn’t something Camila had been looking forward to, but at the ending of the night, it turned out to be a lot better than expected.

*Flashback*

“Please don’t tell me your dressing up as a vampire AGAIN, Laur,” Ally rolled her eyes as she laid her costume our on her bed. She was dressing up as Cleopatra, whilst every year Lauren would go as a vampire because she claimed that Count Dracula was her alter ego. And every year, the girls would scold her and tell her that she was uncreative.

Baring fake fangs and a terrible rendition to Dracula’s accent, “I’m going to drink your blood. Blah, blah, blah,” Lauren dodged a pillow that her friend threw at her. “Bitch…I just so happen to love dressing up as a vampire okay. I think I look hot,” she playfully flipped her hair.

"You do,” Ally winked. “But it’s over used,” the other girl stuck her tongue out like a five year old causing the older girl to laugh. “What’s your girlfriend dressing up as?” she asked smirking.

The raven haired girl playfully shoved her friend. “She’s not my girlfriend. But she wouldn’t tell me. Something about it being a surprise. I think Dinah knows, but she wouldn’t tell me either.” She pouted.

Ally sent a wink. “She’s not your girlfriend yet.”

Both girls had been out on a few dates so far. They were casual dates, which Camila quite enjoyed. Lauren had no intentions of rushing into anything with the brunette because she knew a relationship would be a whole new playing field and she wasn’t sure if the girl was up to it as yet.

As much as she loved going on dates with the girl, Lauren wanted to make it official because she really didn’t see herself wanting to be with anyone just yet. But again, she had some self restraint and wanted to ensure that Camila was okay with what was going on between them, until she took it a step further. “Let’s get dressed then head downstairs and see if there’s any last minute prepping we need to do.”

Lauren nodded and grabbed her ‘costume’ and headed into the bathroom leaving Ally to change in the bedroom.

***

After thirty minutes the pair was ready and went in search of the others. People had already gathered downstairs, music was playing through the speakers; it wasn’t loud enough to have to yell over the music, some of their friends were already chugging down some of the concoction that Dinah and Normani had made.

Ally swore off drinking because being the most responsible of everyone there, she wanted to ensure that everyone apart from having a good time, remained safe.

The girls spotted Normani; clad in an Egyptian ‘mummy’ costume, at the far end of the living room who was engulfed in conversation with this guy from her dance class; everyone and their mothers knew Normani had a crush on him, except for him of course.

The girls decided against interrupting them. Ally spotted a group of her friends when they entered through the door and she excused herself from Lauren to go greet them. A guy, who the green eyed girl had never met, came up to talk to her. His eyes were already glossed over causing the girl to wonder just how much he had to drink. He must’ve only got here, so it wasn’t possible to be drunk already. Right?

“Wanna dance?” He asked as he removed his red solo cup from his lips. The song that was currently playing ended and switched to another more upbeat one. The guy was reeking of alcohol and even though Lauren drank; which was occasionally, she found it to be a turn off and pretended to not hear the guy hoping he’d take a hint and walk away; which eventually he did.

She thanked the gods and went to grab a drink. Dinah and Camila weren’t anywhere to be seen. Sipping on her drink, she walked around and mingled with some of her friends. Lauren felt someone gently tap her shoulder and when she turned around, that was it. Her breath was caught in her throat and her jaw was practically on the floor.

“Hi,” Camila said shyly when she realized Lauren wasn’t going to say anything. She looked down bashfully.

“Camz..you..you look. Wow,” Lauren stuttered as her eyes ran over Camila’s body. The younger Cuban was dressed in a blue Princess Jasmine costume with a tiara on her head. She had a side braid to compliment the outfit. “Just..wow,” the girl breathed causing the brunette to blush furiously.

A chuckle escaped one of Lauren’s friends along with Dinah; who was dressed as a spy, had a shit eating grin on her face. She sent a wink Lauren’s way before walking off to hang with her friends. “Real smooth, Casanova.” Lauren turned to glare at her friend who smirked back in response. “What Lauren here is trying to say, 'Camz’, is that you look beautiful and you left her speechless.” Camila blushed even more. “I’m Alexa. It’s nice to meet you.”

Camila looked up to be met with brown eyes staring at her. “I’m Camila. It’s nice to meet you too.” They exchanged warm smiles. Lauren’s friends excused themselves after chatting for a while and left the girls to talk.

The green eyed girl hadn’t once said a word. She kept admiring Camila and the way she looked so effortless in such a simple costume. It was only now that she realized that everyone was dressed in rather sexual costumes except her Camila, it was a nice change. She looked adorable.

“Lauren?”

“Mmm?”

“Can you..um..can you not drink tonight?” Camila asked shyly as she was looking at the almost empty cup in the girl’s hand. “I’m..not you know..comfortable being around alcohol..” she mumbled out the rest. Knowing the girl’s past, Lauren nodded her head and threw away her cup without even protesting the girl’s request.

They walked around and Lauren introduced Camila to someone of their guests. She noticed just how uncomfortable the young Cuban seemed and she tried to ignore it but she couldn’t. The entire atmosphere was a no-no to Camila. The pungent smell of alcohol, the sweaty bodies, the loud music, it wasn’t something the brunette had liked especially the alcohol. Due to her father being an alcoholic, she hated it.

“Do you want to dance?” Camila asked. She wasn’t much of a dancer and she wasn’t sure if Lauren was one but she wanted to make this night okay for the girl.

Growing up, she didn’t have any friends, which meant she never went to any parties, so this was all new to her. She wasn’t quite comfortable being around this atmosphere either, but she wasn’t going to let Lauren know. Their time together, the green eyed girl was always the one making compromises and doing whatever Camila wanted. She wanted Lauren to be interested in her; even though the green eyed girl was clearly into her, the brunette was always having her doubts.

Lauren saw the hesitance when the girl asked and she smiled softly. “Camz,” she shook her head. “You don’t want to be here do you?”

Camila’s eyes opened widely as she looked into Lauren’s green ones. “I..I do..Why would you ask that?”

“Because you look so uncomfortable,” she laughed softly. “Why did you agree to be here, if you didn’t want to?” Lauren slipped her hand into Camila’s without a warning and this was one of the few times she hadn’t flinched. The brunette intertwined their hands and smiled softly when she looked down at them.

“I..I guess it’s because you seemed so excited. I didn’t want to ruin it for you. I don’t really like parties and being around alcohol,” she sighed. “I’ve never really did the whole Halloween thing either. So I guess I’m just not used to this.”

Lauren reached out with her free hand and stroked the other girl’s face. She smiled at how thoughtful Camila was being. But she mentally scolded herself for not realizing sooner that the girl wouldn’t have had a good time at the party. “Can you go wait for me by my car? I’m going to go grab my keys and tell the girls we’d be heading out.” She didn’t wait for a response and she ran back upstairs to grab her things.

“But Lauren…” Camila furrowed her eyebrows and looked at the spot where Lauren disappeared to. She sighed and walked out of the cottage. “Why couldn’t I have just kept my mouth shut?” she muttered to herself as she lent up on Lauren’s Evoque. “I’m so stupid.”

“No you’re not,” Camila jumped. “You’re adorable.” Lauren draped her jacket over Camila’s shoulders and opened the passenger’s door for the girl to get in. “And you’re very sweet for wanting to come to the party even though you don’t like it. But let’s do something the both of us would enjoy doing, yeah?”

The girl sat in the passenger seat and watched Lauren close her car door. It was only when she entered on the driver’s side, the older Cuban saw the confused expression plastered on Camila’s face. “What’s wrong?”

“I..I thought you wanted to be in the Halloween party?”

Lauren started the engine and drove off. “I wasn’t really having a good time if I’m being honest. I spent most of the time looking for you and then when I realized you were taking forever to get dressed,” she teased. “I went to mingle with some friends and continued thinking about you. It doesn’t matter if I’m not at the party. I’m just glad I’m with you.”

Camila felt her heart practically melt at the girl’s words. They weren’t girlfriends and she had no problem with whatever they were currently. Friends who had a romantic interest in each other and went out on dates?

Probably.

Slowly, she was started to feel and believe Lauren’s actions when she admitted her feelings towards her. It was still hard for her to believe but she was trying. “I’m glad I’m with you too, Laur.” She took her eyes off the road for a split second to look at Camila, sending her a smile, she turned back to face the road. “Where are we going?”

“Well you said you’ve never done the whole Halloween thing before and I mean, we’re a bit too old for the trick or treating, so how’d you like to hit up a few gas stations; buy a ton of candy and we can drive around for a bit?” Lauren asked with a cheesy grin on her face. “It’s practically trick or treating but just in an unconventional sense.”

Camila giggled and shook her head. “You’re really weird, Laur but also very sweet. I guess we can do it.”

“Well we were going to do it whether you want to or not.” She chuckled.

After a few minutes of driving, Lauren came to the first gas station. Initially, Camila wasn’t into it but after the third gas station, she had one of the hugest smiles on her face, when they cashed the candy and left.

She may have missed out the going from house to house as a kid, but this was the next best thing, and nothing could company to doing this with her sort of girlfriend. They bought a wide variety of candy until Lauren thought it was enough because they might just be giving themselves diabetes.

***

“Okay…um I think that’s the big dipper there,” Lauren pointed at a random cluster of stars that looked nothing like the little dipper.

Camila giggled. “No it’s not! That looks like literally nothing,” she fed the other girl a piece of her crunch bar then took a bite herself. Halloween turned out to be a lot better than expected.

The couple drove around for a while, until Lauren came upon this secluded area. There were only a couple other cars in the area, so they weren’t exactly alone; hopefully if they were being hacked to death, someone would see and come to their assistance.

“You couldn’t let a girl pretend right?” Lauren laughed and tore open another candy bar. “Okay, I think this is my last one. I’m stuffed.”

“It’s literally the last one, Laur. I can’t believe we ate all that,” Camila looked at the wrappers they had scattered on the blanket they were sitting on. The girl took a bite from the Twix bar Lauren was holding, when she wasn’t looking.

“Hey! That’s mine,” the Cuban stuck her tongue out. “Real mature, Camz.” She laughed.

“Let me be the first to say, that this is the best Halloween I’ve ever had,” she threw herself down to star up at the stars. The sincerity lacing her voice and the huge smile on her face, made it hard for Camila to question it, so she smiled and looked down at her lap.

They stayed in silence for a while, just enjoying the company of one another, until Lauren sat up and stared at Camila.

“You’re absolutely beautiful. You know that right?” The brunette blushed furiously at the comment. “And you’re even more beautiful when you act like you don’t know it.”

Camila took a deep breath and moved closer to Lauren, even though the girl was a few inches away. Her heart was hammering in her chest. She had never been the first person to initiate a kiss, it was always the raven haired girl but tonight, when words failed her, she knew the next best thing she had to do.

Camila brought her face closer to Lauren’s, the shock was evident in the emerald eyes, but she didn’t say anything.

She gently took hold of the older girl’s waist, with the other hand going behind her neck; her fingers began to play with the hair at the back of Lauren’s neck.

The older girl’s eyes fluttered closed at the sensation and had to concentrate on what was going to happen, instead of melting at the delicious tingle Camila’s fingers were sending through her body.

Each time the brunette touched her, she couldn’t help but swoon. The sparks it elicited were something that words couldn’t have even begun to describe.

And before she knew it, warm, soft lips were on hers and she was kissing her right back. It wasn’t something either girl ever thought they would get used to, because every time they kissed, it felt like the first time all over again. Eventually, Camila pulled away leaving Lauren breathless.

She opened her eyes slowly to be met with brown ones already looking at her intently. “I adore you so much, Cabello. You have no idea.” She brought the girl’s hand to her lips and gently kissed each knuckle.

“I adore you too, Jauregui. So much.”

*End of Flashback*

She hadn’t realized she was crying until she saw the clear drops on the picture frame. Sniffling, Lauren wiped at her nose and she dried the tears from the picture.

If Lauren could’ve wished for anything, she would’ve wished to go back to that day, or simply any other day where she still had Camila in her life. It wasn’t the same being here, and living her life without her.

Whoever was doing this was sure as hell making it a lot harder to move on from the girl who left and broke her heart. Maybe that was their intention. Or maybe it was just to have her hurting even more. She didn’t know.

But what she did know, was that even after all these years, she still adored Camila Cabello.

***

Wattpad: Commander_Camren

[cookinguptales]

would you do 40 or 23? ty if you do!!

23. “Just once.”

(don’t worry I got you I knew you meant karabita. heads up, this one’s a bit of a rough read.)

Sometimes a fight starts with a single event, one sin or grave error that cuts deep like a knife and leaves wounds that can only start to heal after the yelling stops. But sometimes the wound is already there, so small as to be invisible. Sometimes the fight only comes after skin has peeled away from a paper cut, a tiny, nagging pain that is entirely bearable until the day it is not.

Sometimes you don’t even know the skin is broken until someone throws vinegar on it.

This fight was one of those, Chibita could feel it down around his guts. The argument was small and petulant, grumbling mounting to pointed barbs, and he knew it had to be about something else. Sure, it was annoying the way Karamatsu always forgot to do the dishes like he was still depending on an absent mother to wait on him hand and foot, but that wasn’t enough to account for the jangling of his nerves, the heat in his blood. There was a cut somewhere on his skin that was wearing him down, but even he didn’t know where it was until the words were out of his mouth.

“– the mind is full of the twists and turns of a mountain road, and things are ever lost to the silent echoes of a dusty sepulchre –”

“God fucking damn it, Karamatsu, will you just say what you mean for once?”

The words were out and they were ugly. Karamatsu froze and stared at him through those dusky lashes of his, his stupid eyebrows gone high and arched in shock. Chibita was rough with him, sure, but that was pebbles next to boulders. He’d never spoken to Karamatsu in that tone of voice before. And once he started, he couldn’t stop. It was like a wasp had laid eggs inside him, and all he could do was watch as its young poured out of his mouth. 

“What’s with all those big words, anyway? It’s like trying to talk to a fucking tv drama. Is there a genuine bone in your goddamn body?” Chibita snapped.

Karamatsu opened his mouth and then closed it, his eyes still wide and dark and a little bit lost. “I–”

But Chibita didn’t want to hear Karamatsu talk, not really. He didn’t want mountains of flowers; he knew now that it had been their thorns that had been scraping at his skin, pinpricks and papercuts, and sweeping the ground from beneath his feet. He was never sure where he stood with Karamatsu, not really. The man lied to Chibita, and he lied to himself.

And Chibita hated not being sure about things.

Chibita swallowed hard, fighting back the bile, but it bubbled up out of him anyway. “Every time I think I see something real in you, you go ahead and cover it up with bullshit. It’s all ‘true love’ and ‘world peace’, but you don’t believe in any of that, do you? You just keep saying it like saying it will be enough to make things happen. Just like you say you want to build a new life or – or change yourself. Is there even anything real in there to change?” he demanded.

It was like living with a cardboard cutout of a person. Like living with a liar. Like living with someone who just sucked up everything Chibita put out and turned it into fairy dust.

Someone who looked very much like he’d been sucker-punched. Karamatsu looked down then, like Chibita’s brightness had momentarily hurt his eyes. “I don’t know,” he admitted, and his voice had gone quiet and shaky.

It sounded terribly, terribly genuine.

He looked up again, and his eyes were dull. That pleased, theatrical gleam was gone, and so was the fairy dust. It was just Karamatsu there, all pageantry and costuming laid aside, and fuck, it looked like emptiness.

Chibita swallowed again. He hated it, that look in his eyes. He hated the way that Karamatsu’s fire, once extinguished, was only ash. And he hated that he’d done that to him. “You…”

“I don’t know,” Karamatsu repeated. “I don’t know what I am, or who I am. You don’t know what it’s like living with five more of you. I don’t know where I start and the others stop! I never have! That’s why I left. None of us could find those lines anymore, and we needed to!”

And that, that was stupid. Any fool could tell them apart. Osomatsu was the boss. Choromatsu was responsible. Ichimatsu was scary. Jyushimatsu was cheerful. Todomatsu had that kind of creepy-cute thing going on. And Karamatsu was painful. But, Chibita realized, staring at the hard lines that had formed around Karamatsu’s eyes, maybe none of that was real, either. Or maybe some was and some wasn’t and none of them had any way of knowing where the line was between the two. Maybe all of them were playing roles, because their personalities, their real personalities, weren’t enough to differentiate them, not to an entire world that just saw a jumbled up mass of shitty NEETs. Maybe they all pretended a little and exaggerated a lot just so they’d have something to recognize when they all looked at each other, something concrete and easy and simple to understand. A name tag of sorts to make staring into a six-way mirror just a little bit less disorienting.

Maybe none of them really knew each other at all, not anymore, and it was that alien feeling of rolling over and finding strangers in their bed that made them love each other and hate each other so damn much. And maybe none of them even knew themselves, either. Karamatsu certainly didn’t.

Chibita didn’t say anything for a moment, couldn’t. He just looked at Karamatsu and looked and looked. He could see the broken pieces now, and the rock that had shattered them. But what picture did they form? Finally, he sighed long and slow. “Why did you come here, Karamatsu?” he asked.

Why here? Why him?

Karamatsu bit his bottom lip, then rubbed at the corner of his eye with the heel of his hand. Chibita refused to think about what he might be wiping away. “I trusted you,” he said faintly. “And I thought you liked me.” He paused. “A little. Maybe.”

Chibita’s heart beat once, painfully, before falling back into its usual unremarkable rhythm. “I did,” he said. A lot. And that was the real problem, wasn’t it? That was the real wound that had been niggling at him for all this time.

Karamatsu’s breath rattled in his throat, around something like a sigh, something like a sob. “And now?”

Now that like, that like, had doubled back in on itself, had become something ugly and sharp. That was what had really cut him deep, not anything that Karamatsu had done. Because Chibita didn’t know Karamatsu, and he wanted to. He wanted to plumb the depths of those sparkling eyes and find a truth that only he knew. He wanted Karamatsu to give him that. To trust him with that. He wanted to have a part of Karamatsu that no one else did.

Chibita clutched at his chest absently, ignoring the odd look Karamatsu was giving him as he did. What an ugly wound. What an ugly, festering wound. It was just jealousy, wasn’t it? And possessiveness. He didn’t understand Karamatsu, not at all, and that irritated him because he wanted Karamatsu to be his to understand. He wanted to know where he stood with Karamatsu because he wanted to know just how close their feet were to touching. He wanted to blow away all that fairy dust like it was a barrier to Karamatsu’s heart instead of just the door. Like it wasn’t part of what had made Chibita fall in love with him in the first place.

He wanted honesty because he thought he would like the truth that he found there. But he didn’t. The truth was as ugly as he was, once you got down deep enough. He’d knocked the dust from Karamatsu’s eyes thinking it was just a cover up, but it wasn’t, was it? He wasn’t pulling away some shroud that was hiding the real Karamatsu from him. He was just taking away his happiness. It wasn’t emptiness there in Karamatsu’s eyes. It was misery. All he’d done was attack a sore spot so Karamatsu would hurt as much as he was.

And now, Karamatsu had to ask if Chibita even liked him. Like “like” was enough of a word to describe the maelstrom that Chibita felt inside every time he looked at Karamatsu. The fondness and the fear and the aching frustration. The confusion. Fuck. And Chibita had been hypocritical enough to demand Karamatsu be honest?

Chibita was the one who looked away now, and it was guilt that made him do it. No. It was shame. The words that he’d held close, had buried in cuts that he thought were far too shallow to hold such depth, should have been sweet. They should have been beautiful. They tasted like ash in his mouth. “I love you,” he admitted. And he’d ruined everything.

There was silence for a moment, and it was all Chibita could do not to cringe. Then, “What?”

“I love you,” Chibita repeated, and felt pain dull the edges of the declaration. Of course he loved him. How the hell had he missed it? He loved his painful passion and his tender vulnerability. He loved the stars in his eyes and the way his breath caught at midnight when he thought Chibita was asleep. He loved the man who strutted around like the world was his stage and Chibita his willing audience. He loved the man who’d clung to him and cried what felt like a lifetime ago. He loved Karamatsu’s larger-than-life persona, the one he showed to his brothers and his world and himself, and he loved the simpler, quieter, almost shy persona that Karamatsu had treated him to a few times over dinner. He loved them both. He loved them all. No wonder he’d been hurting so badly. Karamatsu really was completely painful, and Chibita had been drinking him in.

Chibita felt tears prick at the edges of his eyes, and he wasn’t sure who he was crying for, himself or Karamatsu. God, he was such an asshole. He reached up and scrubbed them away, hating the weakness of them and the fact that he really had no right to be the one crying. “I’m sorry,” he said, and the words were wobbly on his lips. “I know who you are.”

Of course he did. Even if no one else in the world did, Chibita knew Karamatsu. And instead of enjoying what few mysteries remained, instead of taking things slow and knowing there was still time to learn his layers, Chibita had torn him apart trying to find his heart. Like it wasn’t right the fuck there on his sleeve.

Karamatsu was quiet for a long, long time, and all Chibita could hear was Karamatsu’s uneven breaths and the thumping of his own heart. Then he felt a gentle touch at his elbows, at his shoulders, a silent request that Chibita instantly gave into. He sank into Karamatsu’s grasp even as arms came up around him, and he shook beneath Karamatsu’s lips as they pressed to his scalp.

“Will you teach me?” Karamatsu asked quietly, and fuck, fuck, fuck, Chibita never wanted to hear him sound so real ever again.

Chibita pulled back a little so he could look up at him, look up into his eyes and see what truths he’d finally managed to expose. There was pain there, and there was a sort of fear-laced sadness. But there was the barest hope shining through, and Chibita’s breath caught in his throat – because he was pretty sure he recognized it. And hell, maybe Karamatsu had been hiding a few secrets himself, a few wounds of his own.

Slowly, half-sure that he was about to be shoved roughly away, Chibita stood up on his toes so he could press his lips to Karamatsu’s. The kiss was whisper-soft, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it, and fuck, it was all he’d wanted. “We’ll figure it out,” Chibita said, and the words tasted like a promise even as he pressed them to Karamatsu’s lips.

As close as he was, Chibita could feel the way that Karamatsu sagged, from relief or exhaustion or both. Karamatsu’s arms tightened around him, pulled him in close, and there was a peculiar kind of safety to be found in the arms of an idiot. They were both idiots, Chibita supposed.

But they’d be okay.

[lamiaward]

I don’t OUAT

I hope you enjoy : )

It is heart-breaking, how Regina clutches to Henry and mutters things to him Emma cannot catch from her place on the kitchen ground. He finally pulls back, and she wipes his hair from his face and kisses his forehead tenderly. Emma flaps her wings, and paces as she watches them. She hisses when she catches sight of the dried tears on Henry’s cheeks( it had been actually sadder than Mufasa’s death to watch Henry beg his mother to just ‘stop fighting, por favor mami’ when Regina had panicked, and tried to overpower the queen’s control over her)

The two separate, and Regina looks at Emma. “ Do not trust her” she warns, and Emma just nods several times before allowing Henry to pick her up. She is fully prepared to break arms if the queen even fucking thinks about hurting their son, and even Henry wouldn’t be able to stop her. Which he would probably try, because he never wants to hurt people and to complicate things a lot, the queen is his mom as well.

Maybe he should get therapy again. He does occasionally talk to Archie, but it isn’t really therapy anymore. Then again, that guy turns everything into therapy because the last time Emma talked to him, he started an entire conversation of what her wardrobe change could mean for her psyche and just generally made her uncomfortable. She is still thinking about that encounter ( and how she can avoid any others like it) when Henry clutches her tighter.

When she glances up, she sees why: they have arrived at Regina’s vault, and its doors are creeping open.

Henry takes a deep breath, and hesitates for several more seconds before slowly walking into the vault. As soon as they are inside, the doors close. “ Yup. We are definitely behaving like those people that die at the beginning of a horror movie” Henry mutters, sounding more weary and annoyed than afraid. His heart is racing though, and Emma almost cries out because of how tight his grip on her is.

His grip slackens when they actually get to where there are still potion ingredients, and the slightly gross smell of rooms that are never aired. Henry takes a careful step forward, and stares at the shadowed figure in front of them. “ I am here. Like I promised, so you cannot hurt anyone” he says.

The queen steps forward. Emma had expected corsets, leather pants, jewellery, hats and odd hairdo’s- but instead, she is wearing a pantsuit and her hair almost exactly like Regina’s. Emma narrows her eyes, and starts to wriggle in Henry’s arms until he sets her down gently and Emma can stand in front of him with her wings wide.

“Henry- “ the queen breaths, and Emma flaps her wings and pushes against the queen’s legs when she tries to get closer to Henry. Except the queen just rolls her eyes, and flicks her fingers and then Emma is gliding over the floor and can’t get to them.

“ Henry – “ the queen repeats, and starts to reach for him. Emma stops flapping her wings crazily for a moment when the queen’s expression drops as soon as Henry holds up his hands to keep her from hugging him.

“I know you are not my mom. You are just the part of her that is terrible, and now you are trying to hurt everyone. Even my mom”.

“ Henry, Regina attempted to kill me”.

“ You are the part of her who hurt people. A lot”

“ I am the part which made her strong”.

“ That is not being strong, that is being evil!”.

“ Henry Daniel Mills- “

“ I want you to stop hurting people, and- “.

“ I will only hurt those who deserve it “.

“ They don’t deserve it! They are my family, and I love them”.

Emma throws herself against the invisible barrier when the queen touches Henry’s chin. “ You deserve a better family than them. They are self-righteous, selfish and spoiled. They think they are so good while they make others suffer for them”.

“ They are heroes and- they can make mistakes”.

The queen’s eyes harden. “ But I cannot? Because I am a villain”.

“You’re literally mom’s worst part! That is how this works- there is not supposed to be good in yo- “.

“Henry- “ Emma screams when the queen gently presses her hand against Henry’s chest, like she is going to rip -  “ you have the heart of the truest believer in there. Do not pretend like you do not harbour the belief that I have some of what you perceive to be Regina’s goodness, as well”.

Henry swallows. “ Do you?”.

“ Regina is not good. She is weak, foolish woman playing a role because she is terrified of losing you. She has allowed love to weaken and mollify her – surely, you cannot think she truly loves Snow White of all people? “ the queen is sneering, and it should terrify all of them. But Henry is just looking at her with a very Regina-like expression, the one she has whenever people are coming up with bullshit excuses

“ Yes. And you do, too “ he suddenly says, with all the certainty in the world

“ What?” The queen laughs. “ Henry, I assure you I feel nothing for Snow but hatred”.

“ I think you loved her. Mom told me that – that you just loved her at first, but that you started to resent her because your marriage was really awful and other things. But you loved her first, and you still cared for her even when- “.

“ That girl took everything from me. She trapped me, and turned me into a pretty possession that belonged to a man everyone thought was a hero. She betrayed my confidence, and caused my true love’s death. She was a spoiled, selfish and utterly oblivious person and that is all she will ever be. And even if Regina loves her- I am not Regina, am I?”.

“ You say you love me”.

“ Of course-“.

“ But if you really are not my mom, and if you really hate grandma, then you are lying and you do not love me. If you are only who my mom was when she was the evil queen, then you are not my mom and you could never love me” Henry says it calmly, but his eyes are pained. The queen looks so much like Regina that it must be like travelling back in time, and doubting his mother’s love for him all over again.

“ Henry, I do love you. That is why I am doing this- because your family will only disappoint and hurt you. You cannot trust them”.

“ They are my family, and they love me and would always do what is best for me”.

“They would do what they think is best”

“ I am not going to turn my back on my family, and you are NOT - “ .

“ The first time we watched Star Wars together, you immediately wanted to see it again. You wanted to be a jedi, Batman or a firefighter. You loved Halloween, and we would spent weeks planning your costume. Whenever I told you stories, you would add your own ideas and sometimes we would write them down. You loved drawing, and whenever you found a book or comic character you particularly liked, you drew it and you drew us next to them as superheroes”

Henry looks stunned. The queen smiles. “ You see , mi principito, you are my son. I have raised you as much as Regina has, and I have loved you from the first moment I held you in my arms”

“ If that is really true, then you wouldn’t hurt my family”.

“ I am your family. You do not need them, Henry, and I can offer you so much more than they ever could”.

“ I already get everything I need from them- “.

“ I could give you servants, so you would never have to clean your room. I could use my magic to give you the powers those comics always talk about. Any person you liked would have to love you- you could have anyone you wished for “.

“ I just want someone who likes me as much as I like them, and who understands me. Like mom and dad”.

“ Dad – you mean the worthless person who abandoned your mother without a second thought? Who was as much a coward as his father, and left her to pay for his crimes?”.

“ Don’t talk about my dad that way! He died a hero, and he didn’t know- “.

“ He knew what would happen to Emma, and he knew how she had been abandoned by anyone before him. He knew her parents left her on the side of the road, and how that must have damaged her. He knew about her foster parents choosing their ‘own’ child over her and yet did not think twice about letting her think another person had left her again. He knew how much he would hurt her, and he did it anyways”  

Henry takes a step back, staring at the queen. Regina had never dared to criticized Neal too much ( and maybe she hadn’t cared enough about Emma yet. Maybe), knowing Henry idolized the man and would begrudge any criticism. And Emma had never thought Henry’s opinion could be swayed, had thought that the old argument ‘it was to break the curse’ would grant Neal forgiveness from any hero. And she had liked Neal, really had.

In the end, Henry had never really had to think about what Neal had done to his mom.

But now he looks at her, and Emma knows. She knows he is suddenly thinking of that moment on his castle a lifetime ago, when she had opened up about how much that first family had hurt her when they sent her back. And Henry is smart, intuitive and empathic. She takes a step back the moment his eyes tears up, and his cheeks heat and he looks ashamed.

“ Mom- I am s-sorry” he says, and gods her head hurts immediately but she tries to at least get her voice back anyways.

“I didn’t – you must’ve been really hurt” he whispers, and this time she actually gets to run towards him. Maybe keeping it up is just too exhausting( although that is unlikely, because Regina’s magic sometimes seems an endless supply)or maybe there is a vastly different reason but the shield is gone so she runs towards Henry, he sinks to his knees and she first tries to hug him but then just jumps on his legs and presses against him.

“ I am so sorry” his voice breaks, and gods does she wish it was puberty.

She tries to talk again, but her mouth tastes of iron and all that comes out is a sort of squeak and so she shakes her head and allows him to wrap his arms tightly (too tight) around her and bury his face against her. She can feel him shake, and she thinks it might be more than the thing with Neal. Despite how much she has hoped and later, when she had met him, tried to avoid it – he is not a stranger to doubting whether someone loves you, and questioning why people do things that hurt you.

She can’t get the way he looked at the queen before he got angry out of her head.  She wished she could tell him that he is loved, by any version of Regina, and by so many other people.

“ Henry- “.

He slowly pulls back, and the queen almost falters when she sees the red eyes and the tears. Almost. Her voice is almost gentle too.  “  Your biological father should not be on a pedestal, especially not after hurting Emma like that”.

“Like you care” Henry snaps

“ I do. I would prefer not to hurt Emma. As long as she does not attempt to take you away from me, I have no issue with her”.

“  I won’t be with you, you are  not my mom. I already have two mothers, who love me and raise me and don’t hurt anyone”.

The queen shakes her head. “ Regina hurt as many people as I did – why can you forgive that? “.

“ Because she changed. She fought really hard, and she became a hero. And I know she was made into a villain and I was really angry at her for hurting people and lying but she has saved grandma and Storybrooke and fought for my family. And you want to hurt them. And you are lying , because you are the worst part of her and that part of her doesn’t love”.

“I love you. I want what is best for you, which is not living with a family that would give their children up with something as fickle as hope the only thing to protect them”.

“You gave me up as well”

“ I would not have given you up. I would have left town with you and Emma “.

“ But you would have left the rest of my family under a curse “.

“ Henry, you do not need them. You would be happier without them, I am sure”.

Henry gives another Regina-like look, one that perfectly conveys contempt and slight disgust. “ They are my family, and I love them”.

“ I could take you anywhere you wished. We could visit any foreign country, or go to any realm you wish to travel to. I might even be able to teach you magic”.

“ I do not even have magic”.

“ No, but you have the author’s pen, and I am fairly sure you could give yourself magic that way. Or we can find some other way, if you wanted it”.

“I don’t. You can offer me nothing that would tempt me enough to be your son”.

The queen smirks.  “Oh really?” she waves her hand, and Emma tries to summon a fireball or anything the second she hears Henry scream, and she is thrown back herself. There is a lot of chaos, Henry yelling things and her blood rushing. She has the worst headache, and she can’t move without feeling like she is pulling at least half of her muscles.

As soon as the pain becomes manageable, she is aware of her own voice.

“ HENRY” it is high, broken and very hoarse but it is her voice. She pushes herself up, smiles and – sees Henry’s relieved smile change to a grimace.

“ Uh mom?”.

“ Yes- let him go, Regina” she orders the queen, who still has her arms wrapped around Henry even though he is no longer trying to run towards Emma.

“ mom. You’re naked” Henry says, and it is only then that Emma realizes he is looking away now, and still grimacing. She slowly looks down at herself and-

“ REGINA !” she yells, as soon as she catches sight of her chest that is very much not covered by anything“ Could you not have transformed and clothed me? “.

The queen slowly lets go of Henry, and smirks. Emma starts to stand up- only to barely hold in a curse when she falls and her hands burn as they get chafed as she uses them to catch herself. She kind of feels like she has a bad fever, so she doesn’t try to get up again.

The queen stops next to her, and smiles. Emma’s heart literally stops for several seconds when there is a rough hand grabbing her chin ,and glances at Henry ( he is still not watching, fortunately). She doesn’t know the way her stomach drops when the queen slowly lets her chin go , and Emma feels a tug on her hair-

And watches the small feather in astonishment.  “Am I covered in those? “  she wonders, and Henry glances at her automatically, says something in Spanish she just knows is either a curse or ‘gross!’ , and covers his eyes. She rolls her eyes. “ Now you are overdoing it. I am not Medusa, you know” .

“ Mom, just put on clothes. Please”.  

“ In would love to, but I don’t think I can do much right now. Or anything, really” she glares at Regina. “ What did you do to me, Regina?”.

“ The magic you attempted to use has exhausted you, and the transformation back to human is taxing as well”.

“ Just- help me?”

The queen leans in. “ You think I will help you?”.

“ I am kind of pissed at you, but I am also starting to think you are a lot more like our Regina than you want us to think. So yes, you can help me. Or at least put clothes on me”.

The queen chuckles, and Emma suddenly realizes she is still wearing a collar when the queen yanks on it for a second. “ Why? I like you like this-  “ her voice drops “ You are much more tolerable naked and – “.

“ Okay, enough “ Emma furrows her brow, and tries to concentrate. She immediately cries out, and feels her nose start dripping. She stares at the droplets of blood, and is just about to try again when there is purple smoke and she is wearing jeans, a black tank top and a leather jacket of really high quality, with swans decorating the sleeves.

The queen presses her fingers to Emma’s temple, and Emma could seriously hug her for how the pain immediately disappears. “ Do not be moronic like that again, for I will not be this lenient the next time ” the queen scolds.

“ Mom? What happened? Are you all right-   “ Henry finally drops his hand and looks her way. He hugs her, and grabs one of her arms to help her up. It is embarrassing, how she sways and has to lean on him until her head stops spinning.

She clutches her throat.  “Can you vanish this thing?”.

The queen chuckles. “ No”.

“ I am not a pet, so vanish the da- the thing”

“ Why did you even give her that? “ Henry says, glancing at the collar. Emma is really glad he isn’t looking at the queen, because her expression- well, it makes Emma’s cheeks heat up, and her stomach tighten. Think of something gross, gods Henry is right there, think of something absolutely disgusting-

“ It is very simple. I enchanted this collar, so that Emma will transform at midnight. I told you that you had two days, did I not? “ .

“I don’t- “.

“ I am going to assume your dear parents will not yet accuse Regina. And you will not be conscious, Emma – “.

“ You can’t-  “.

“ Hush, Henry. You will not be conscious Emma, so you will not be able to explain anything, and I will tell Regina that she is only allowed to say things that will make people more suspicious of her- “.

“So it is true. You have my mother’s heart” Henry says, staring at the queen with something very close to hatred. Emma is just wondering when her life got so weird that a hallucination would honestly make more sense.

“ Mio chico intelligente “ the queen says , smiling. “ Of course you knew “.

“ I thought so. When mom behaved like that- I thought someone may have abducted her, and impersonated her. But I saw the Q before it was gone so- “ .

“ You knew then “ Emma finishes. Although he probably suspected before then, because he is ridiculously smart sometimes.

“ I know my mom, so it was easy to see she wasn’t herself. That something was going on, and as soon as I knew for certain it was you , it wasn’t difficult to figure out what had happened.  And you just confirmed it”

He looks at the queen.  “And I am not going to let you hurt her”.

“ Oh, I am not going to “.

“ You are not?” Henry says, looking about as suspicious as Emma feels right now.

“ She can do that herself, she has proven quite exceptional at it these last years. Pathetic “.

“ What- “.

“ I am only telling you this, because I am offering you a deal”.

Emma gently pushes Henry behind her, and takes a step towards the queen. Her head immediately starts throbbing, and for a second , she only sees black and all sound becomes really distant, like she is underwater. But at least it works, and she has her gun in her hand.

“ We are not accepting your deal. The only deal I would take is one where you leave everyone alone, and I don’t shoot you in return”.

“ Emma. If you harm me, you will also harm Regina. We are connected, so that any injury you inflict on me, you will also inflict on her. I already tol- “.

“HENRY!” Emma yells when the gun is suddenly ripped from her hands, and thrown away. She turns around to scowl at him. “ You could have hurt someone!”.

“ The safety pin was still on. And you were going to hurt mom!” .

“ I was- “.

Regina takes a step closer, smiles. “ She will not be able to hurt me, mijo”

“ She could, and then my mom would be hurt too “ Henry is still glaring at Emma so he never sees Regina’s face fall. If Emma had ever doubted whether this part of Regina could feel anything, she no longer has to ask that question. The split second Regina is not hiding her feelings, her expression makes Emma’s throat close.

“ I have magic, I can easily stop bullets Henry. So you do not have to worry about your mother”.

“ I – “

“No more talking. Listen “ the queen says. Emma nearly surges forward and punches her when she realizes the gesture she just made, was to magic away Emma’s voice or something. Like they’re freaking Ursula and Ariel, Jesus Christ.

The queen paces. “ My deal is the following. You will both leave Storybrooke with me , and Regina’s heart will not be crushed. Snow and Charming will not end up in my dungeon “.

She snaps her fingers, and Emma feels her throat tingle. She correctly guesses her voice has returned “You can’t crush Regina’s heart, you just said so”  

The queen smirks. “ Oh, I have my methods. For now, this connection between Regina and I serves me well. But I could break that connection, and crush her heart”.

“ But you do not have your heart “ Henry pipes in, brow furrowed.  “ Are you not only alive because mom still has her heart, and the connection between you means you can like share her heart without it having to be in your chest?”.

The queen’s eyes become almost soft when she looks at Henry. She doesn’t quite look like Regina, but Emma could almost be fooled. “Very well, my little prince” she compliments. “ It is true that I am alive, because Regina still has her heart and there is a connection between the two of us. But I assure you, I have a way to survive without Regina as my life support”

Henry crosses his arms.  “I don’t believe that. You’re bluffing”.

“Even if I am lying, I could still break our connection and either put her under a sleeping curse or some other induced coma” the evil queen slowly smiles, a smile that makes Emma look longingly in the direction of her gun, and her heart race. Even Henry pales a little. “ Or I could use something a little nastier, perhaps something that will destroy her soul “.

Emma frantically tries to think of something, anything, that could mean they don’t have to take this deal and can still help their family. Or – “ What does this deal mean, really?”.

She glimpses Henry’s incredulous, betrayed expression but she ignores it. The queen, on the other hand, looks like someone just handed her Snow’s head on a plate. “ Are you considering it?”.

“I just want to know what you even expect from us. Where would we even go? ” If we have some time, we can break this curse. Or at least find some way to warn everyone, and make sure Regina doesn’t hurt anyone.

“ Mom, you can’t seriously be considering – “.

Sometimes , she really wished she could use telepathy. If she could, she didn’t have to settle for throwing Henry a look and hoping that his pretty devious mind (courtesy of Regina, definitely) gets that she is not actually considering telling their entire family to fuck themselves, but is instead doing something that could arguably be the most stupid and self-destructive thing ever. She is deceiving the evil queen.

“ Henry, I am trying to protect you. Mom, dad and Regina would want that. They would do anything to protect you”

She looks at the queen again. “ So? What exactly would you want us to do?”.

“ I would wish for you to pack your belongings, and never return to Storybrooke. I already have .. borrowed Jefferson’s hat, so we could visit most of the realms if you wished to. We could see more of this world, and we could eventually find a place to move into”.

Emma is sure that Henry has the same expression of suspicion and disbelief. He does share some of her expressions, after all . “ And we are supposed to believe that is all you want? No death and destruction, or ripping out hearts and controlling people? “.

“ That is never what I wanted “.

It is oddly unlike the queen. Not as much because of what she is saying, but how she says it. When she glances at Henry, she sees the same uncertainty and empathy she feels. She is pretty sure he is still angry and weary, but he also can’t ignore that even the evil queen is a lot like his mom and seems to have the same deep and rotting scars Regina does.

Even if she often hides it. Even if she always tries to hide it.

“ All right. So we would leave with you, and everyone in Storybrooke would be fine? “.

“ I would only truly harm Regina, Snow and Charming- and not half as much as they deserve”.

Emma shakes her head, crosses her arms. “ No deal. I am not going to allow you to hurt any of them”

The queen chuckles. “ I will hurt them regardless of what you decide. But if you leave Storybrooke with me- “.

“ Wouldn’t it bother you? That we only are with you because you forced us to ?” .

“ As soon as you are away from your family’s influence, you would see everything much clearer “she looks at Henry.  “ I could offer you a life that you would love”.

“ I love my life in Storybrooke”.

“ You just think you do, because you have so little to compare it to”

She looks at Emma, who feels the room suddenly become claustrophobic when there is a certain understanding in the queen’s eyes. Like the queen is reading her mind, or using a dreamcatcher to see Emma’s entire life, every moment she would never want anyone to see.  “ You did not want to be here, Emma. You wanted to leave for New York- we can go there. We could even live there, whenever we felt ready to do so”.

It is a struggle, but Emma manages to keep her expression disinterested. She had thought she was okay in Storybrooke, that she was content. Turns out she just buried it, and forced herself to enjoy this crazy life and all the expectations. “ I have my family in Storybrooke, and that is all I ever wanted”.

There is that look again, the one that makes her shuffle her feet and look at the exit longingly.  “Storybrooke is also a town filled with people that expect you to bring them their happy endings, to protect them and to put their happiness first. Even your parents- “.

“ That isn’t true! Grandma and grandpa love Emma, and just want her happy “ Henry interjects.

The queen snarls. “ Snow and Charming have their own expectations for the saviour “

“ They never really wanted me to be the saviour. They thought giving up my magic was a great idea”

“ That is the thing though, Emma” it is weird, how the queen almost looks at Emma likes she cares a lot. Like she admires her. She must be one hell of an actress. “ They have never valued how special you are. They have an idea of who their daughter would become, and they fail to see how you may have your scars but you have become a better person than they could ever made you”.

“ Uh thanks?”.

Regina looks at Henry. “ And they expect you to be some sort of hero -even though they make faults themselves- and never feel things like envy, jealousy and anger”.

“ I don’t want to feel that”.

“ No, but you sometimes will. And you should not feel like you are supposed to be kind and generous and selfless all the time. You are allowed to want things for yourself, and to hesitate when people ask you for help if it means you would endanger yourself or lose something you care about”.

“ I will always help people”  

“If you are not going to offer to at least not hurt Regina and my parents, we can talk about this forever but you won’t convince us. You will definitely not convince Henry”.

Emma makes sure to shield Henry with her body again when the look in the queen’s eyes changes. She even readies her magic, although that feels pretty much like beating her head against a wall.   “ I can be quite convincing “

“Sure, whatever”

“ All right, Henry. If I cannot convince you by offering you voyages, material belongings or even people- then what about this?”

It is Henry’s scream that makes her throw a punch, even though it is pretty much useless.  She is burning, and all her muscles feel like she has suddenly tried to do a split and severely overestimated her body’s flexibility.

“STOP “ Emma tries to fight against the magic, she really does, but she can’t keep her bones from changing. “  YOU ARE HURTING HER”.

Emma actually drops to the floor, but the only pain that registers is the one that is caused by Henry’s sob. His eyes are wide, and there are tears but the most painful and startling thing is the way he is scowling. How angry he looks, and she isn’t surprised when he rushes forward ( she can’t even scream at him to stop him) and pushes at the queen.

“Henry-  “

“ If you would care for her you would not hurt her”.

“ I could remove the curse, and make sure no one ever hurts her. Is that what you want?”.

Henry calms slightly. “ Yes”.

“  Then that is my offer. You and Emma will leave town with me, I will only harm Snow, Regina and Charming and Emma will not only no longer have a curse to worry about, but will be safe from her destiny as the saviour as well “.

“ You can’t hurt any- “

Emma is still leaning on her hands, breathing shallowly, when she hears the queen walk her way. She hears Henry scream something about letting him go, but her head is so heavy and she can’t look up no matter how much she struggles. Then it is yanked up, and she is staring into familiar brown eyes.

“ Regina” she coughs. Stop hurting him, you idiot.

Her heart stops, then starts to beat really fast like it wants to run as much as the rest of her. The queen’s hand is pressed against her chest, and Emma stares at her with widened eyes. She can hardly believe this. After everything, you are going to try that?

“ You already let me take your heart once, for someone who most certainly did not deserve it “

“I don’t-  “ she gasps. When Cora tried it, it was a really uncomfortable and wrong feeling. When Regina actually took her heart, it wasn’t nice but it wasn’t really unpleasant either. The queen does it, and it goes smoothly. She feels intense warmth that is quickly replaced with intense cold and then she is staring at her own heart in Regina’s hand.

“ NO! “ Henry screams, but he doesn’t move. Emma realizes the queen has probably use some sort of spell to freeze him, but it is slightly muted. Like, sure she kind of wants to punch the queen for it but she isn’t immediately struggling to her feet to actually do it. Instead, she stares at her own heart ( it has less dark spots than she expected) and shudders as the grip on her heart tightens slightly. She feels warm again.

The queen turns back to Henry. “  Wil you agree now, Henry?”  she brings the heart closer to her lips “  Or should I command Emma to- “

“ No! Can we – can we think about it? Please?”.

Emma shivers when Regina more or less presses her lips to the glowing heart in her hand.  “Emma – “.

“ It is my family, I love them, you can’t- “ and maybe it is how Henry is trembling, or how he looks furious and terrified and devastated all at once. Whatever it is, the queen hesitates but then nods.  “You have a week”

Henry’s shoulders drop slightly. He nods. He glares when the queen steps towards him, but doesn’t step back.  “ I am going to transport you to home now, Henry. Your mother will stay behind, so I can speak to her – “.

“ What -  no. You can’t – “

“I am going to have a conversation, not force her to commit murder. Calm down Henry”

“ But- “.

“ I can just as easily make you forget this ever happened”.

Henry glares at her.  “I would find out again”.

“ Most likely. But you would have no idea I was in possession of your mothers’ hearts, would you?”.

“ No, but I would know something was wrong. And it would prove you could never be my mom, that you will always be evil”.

“ I am not evil – and you will understand that. Now, me and your mother need to talk “

“ You can’t hurt her”.

“ You have a week , Henry “ is all the queen says, and then there is purple smoke and Henry is gone. At least he is safer there. Maybe she should worry about herself, but she can’t when the queen looks exhausted and heart-broken for a second. Then she turns, and her entire expression changes.  

The way the queen is watching her makes her kind of nervous, so she just blurts out the first thing on her mind.  “Why do you even want me there? “  at the queen’s slightly confused and exasperated look, she elaborates “ Why do you want me to leave Storybrooke with you guys? Why not just Henry?” She hadn’t really thought to ask, but she had wondered for a moment. Oddly enough, Henry had not questioned it at all.

She stares when Regina just laughs, and shakes your head. “ You either hide low self-esteem behind all the bluster and attitude or you are exceptionally dim. I hope it is the former”.

Emma rolls her eyes. “ Can you just- “.

“ The truth is , miss Swan-  “ Regina saunters over her, and stops when she is incredibly close. “ You are unrefined and rude. You barrelled into my town, ignoring my rules and restrictions, and pretended like you had any right to Henry even though it was a closed adoption. I have been annoyed and infuriated by you”.

“ Okay, so you are a masochist. Got it” Emma muttered.

“ But I have also been awed. You are courageous, intelligent and caring. You do not divide the world into good and evil, but accept that the world is more complex than that.  You understand me, and my past without just forgiving it. You challenge me and add something to my magic as well as to my life”

Regina says this all rather matter-of-factly, like Emma should already know. “ So, Emma, I want you there because I rather enjoy your company when you are not attempting to be whatever bland, boring hero type or princess your parents would want you to be. I happen to admire the person you became, the one that is strong and empathic and independent”.

“ I don’t- “ Emma was going to protest, call Regina on her bullshit. Because really, if she liked Emma so much she wouldn’t hurt her like this. Except then Regina grabs her arm to yank her up and she stumbles, and she suddenly is leaning on Regina, with her hands grabbing Regina’s shirt and her lips pressed to Regina’s cheek.

It is different, being this close to Regina, when her heart isn’t in her chest.

“ Are you going to hand me my heart back? “.

“That depends on what your answers will be”

“ You haven’t asked me any questions”.

Regina throws her a look. “ Do not be a smartass”.

Emma just shrugs.  “ Fine, ask me then”.

The queen smiles. “ I wish you to help me hurt Regina”.

“ What- no. No way. No fucking way”

One time, Emma went to a party and drank too much. She didn’t really have any friends, so she had to walk home all alone. And then someone grabbed her arm, and tried to pull her into an alley. It was so dark, and silent, and there were no people and Emma could hardly stand. She thought that would be the most terrified she would ever be.

It isn’t. When the queen slowly moves the heart up, and Emma knows she is going to say ‘hurt Regina’ that is the most terrifying thing.  

There is the sound of thunder, and several things around them explode. The queen is only barely on time when she summons the shield against the explosion of light magic bursting from Emma. Then the shield shatters, and the queen drops to the floor. Before she can get up, Emma gets to her feet and rips the hear from her grip. She stumbles back, gasping.

If I hurt her, I hurt Regina.

The queen pushes herself up again, looking remarkably calm.  “ Control your emotions, unless you want to blow us up” Emma blinks, and calms down enough to look around and assess all the damage around her ( glass everywhere, a crack in the floor, fires in the back). And that is when she realizes she is looking through an enormous amount of grey-coloured magic that behaves like a stormy cloud hovering around them.

“ I don’t know-  “ Emma stares at the hand suddenly covering hers. Around them, objects that had been flying wildly around the room like they were in the middle of a tornado suddenly drop to the floor. The magic disappears, and Emma’s knees buckle. She pushes the queen away anyways.

The queen hardly seems to notice.  “You must have been feeling very strongly for that to happen”.

“ You are not going to hurt her”

“ Emma- “

“ I mean it. Hurting me is one thing, but you made Henry cry several times already and Regina-  ah” she looks down at her own chest. The queen’s hand is still pressed against it, but the heart Emma had in her hand is now back where it belongs. It kind of hurts actually, and she takes too large breaths until the queen mutters ‘calmly’.

“ Why did you do that?”.

The queen stumbles back, and stares at her own hand. Now she is the one who is breathing irregularly. Emma crosses her arms so she won’t reach for the woman, and waits until she has composed herself. It doesn’t take long. That expression Emma can’t even figure out is replaced by a familiar smirk and the queen prowls towards her.

“Perhaps Henry will not be easily swayed. But you and I are similar, Emma”

“ I wouldn’t count on it”.

The queen chuckles, and moves in for the kill.  “ We will see about that”  she promises, and pulls her head back only to press a kiss to Emma’s cheek, and vanish. Emma Swan is left standing in the middle of the remains of potions and mirrors, her cheek burning and her heart thumping. Just when it is starting to slow, there is pain that makes her black out-

When she comes to, she is a swan again.

[rescue-satellite]

In Your Court

Chapter 8 of my Sidekick!Adrien AU is now on AO3!

based on the AU by @geek-fashionista

Marinette woke up with a headache that could take down three fully grown men if split equally between them. She immediately regretted every life choice that led her to that moment, including leaving the curtains open. The sun washed over her as her eyes cracked open unwillingly. For a cloudy morning, it was ungodly bright.

She turned over herself, feeling the warm blankets fall across her skin, and noticed briefly the emptiness in bed beside her. With a groan, she threw herself out of bed to get the coffee that awaited her. If only it made itself.

In the kitchen, she was almost shocked to see Nino, standing in jeans, sipping from a mug of coffee. She cinched her eyebrows as she walked up to him - not hiding the fact that she was still naked - and took the cup of warm coffee from his hand without a word. Cream and sugar was set up on the counter. She had no idea how long it took him to find sugar in the mess of her kitchen, but he had. “Good morning,” she mumbled through foul breath.

When she caught a whiff of herself she grimaced. “I’m going to take a shower.” She dragged her feet along the cold floor, not even trying to look appealing. “You can join me if you want, but I have to brush my teeth first.”

He shrugged and went with her.

After he left - which wasn’t for a while if we’re being honest here - she called Alya, who hadn’t had as much luck as she had. She was just as hungover, but it didn’t stop her from screeching.

“You fucked Nino?”

Marinette held the phone away from her ear for a moment to let the wave of shock pass before answering. “Yeah.”

“Adrien’s best and only friend?”

“I wouldn't say only-”

“Twice?”

“It was more like five…”

“Five?!”

“...or six?”

“Six times?!”

“It’s just sex, Alya. It’s not like anything’s gonna come of it. I mean, we both have-” She was about to say that they both had crushes on other people, but she knew that information would be pried out of her cold dead hands if she offered up any hint. She wouldn't be the person to tell Alya that Nino had a crush on her. No matter the friend code, Alya was close to a relationship, and Marinette could not damage that.

Nino would just have to wait.

“Well.” They sat for a moment on the phone, Marinette pouring herself another cup of coffee - her fourth - while Alya typed away endlessly on her keyboard. “Was is good?”

Marinette hung up and tossed her phone onto the couch, not caring that it bounced to the floor as she overshot it. That phone would never die.

Much to her chagrin, the phone started vibrating with alerts. She moaned and walked around the couch, flumping down onto it and retrieving her phone from under the table. Adrenaline spiked as the news alert for ‘akuma’ came across her screen, but it was a false alarm.

Some local journalist had written a piece about the hacking that had occurred in the video cameras around town when there was an akuma attack. Marinette didn’t have anything better to do, so she did what she rarely ever did, and started to read an article about herself. The hacking had been nearly untraceable, only found out because a secure server had a trip that hadn’t been disabled.

The report went on to say that more hacking had been reported around the city when the akuma attacks occurred. Cameras followed Ladybug as she swung to and fro, but more interestingly, lighting systems from the city and in private buildings had been switched in the midst of an attack. Marinette thought back to her latest attacker, the Jockey. While horses rampaged through the street, the traffic lights had switched to red, preventing anyone from entering the path of the stampede. She thought it had been her doing.

“Tikki!” Marinette called. The fairy flew from her spot in the closet and settled near the crook of her neck, where she was still warm from the shower.

“What is it, Marinette?” Tikki said.

“When we were fighting the Jockey, did we do anything with the traffic lights?”

The little red kwami shook her head. “No. We don’t possess that kind of magic. Heightened strength and speed, sure, but we can’t manipulate electricity like Lady Wifi.” They looked at the phone for a moment, contemplating. “Why?”

Marinette thought back further. “So when we were fighting Siren, we didn’t set off the lights either?”

“No. We couldn't have.”

Thoughts and memories circulated in her head. “And the barriers in the windows hadn’t been tripped until we were in the building, even though Siren had used most of her abilities outside the building. And the akuma before Jockey, the Riddler, she got shocked by the electrical fence, even though it had been disabled. Tikki.”

“Yes, Marinette?”

“I think people are hacking us.”

The implication was lost. “What do you mean? They watched through the cameras, right?”

“Right. But I’m talking about someone hacking to fight.” She stared at her phone while a sinking feeling balled in the pit of her stomach. “Someone is actively helping us by hacking into the electrical systems.”

“What’s wrong?” Tikki laid a hand on Marinette’s cheek, where a generous flush was forming.

“I don’t know.” She did.

She didn’t like the idea that someone thought she was weak, or that she needed any sort of help. She had been Ladybug for a long time, and had picked up a lot of skills, and she didn’t need assistance doing her job. It was stressful, sure, and she had a hard go of it sometimes, but it was her work. No one else’s. She couldn't let others be hurt. But she didn’t tell Tikki. She just shook her head.

“I don’t know.”

A deeper headache was forming in between her eyes, and she pinched the bridge of her nose to try to ward it off. Her head was pounding though all the lights in the room were turned off. She thought she could smell the bacon being cooked downstairs and the smell made her nauseous. She wanted to curl into a ball and hide from the world until the bad feelings went away.

But the word didn’t like to be hidden from.

Her phone beeped again, the word akuma scrawled across several news lines. Marinette thought little of it until more popped up. “Akuma attack...” “New Akuma Villain Spotted...” “Ladybug Needed…”

“Aw, fuck!” Marinette moaned and told Tikki to transform her.

Even in the suit, her body ached. The joints of her shoulders cried out as she swung through buildings and around chimneys, her legs yelled at her as they pounded across rooftops and pavements like, her head was stabbing itself with tiny needles to try and end the misery. But still, she kept running.

All the alerts told her to head toward the Parc de Princes, and she hurried in that direction. She flew across the Seine in one swing and her body protested the movement. Tikki must be tired, too. Even if it had been three days since the last attack, more than enough time for them to recuperate, Tikki took as much energy from Marinette as Marinette did her, and both their energy was low, their bodies sore and lethargic.

It took more time than it should have for Ladybug to make it to the grand stadium, where some performance had been interrupted by an akumatized victim. Light flashed across tendrils of spiky arms that flicked through the air, cutting, stabbing, and slicing everything they touched. The screams of those in the stadium crescendoed as they made it to the doors and found they were locked.

Ladybug didn’t take the time to survey the scene, however much she wanted to. Her mind was slower than it should be, and she knew it would take far too much time, and people were already being injured below her.

As a shimmering spiked limb shot out toward the crowd of people cowering at the doors of the stadium, Ladybug dropped in front of the projectile, spinning her yoyo fast enough that it formed a shield in front of the innocent passersby. The arm at had reached her shattered and spit back, the entire length falling into pieces, lifeless on the floor. They glittered in the dim light of the day.

Ladybug waded through the frightened crowd of people and with one deft kick, broke open the doors. It only took seconds for the crowd to disappear out the door, all trying to fight each other to be the first to leave.

With the majority of the innocents to safety, and all who were left inching toward the now opened door, Marinette took the time to survey the scene. She didn’t see the akuma, and assumed that it would be regrouping after she had shattered its arm.

The shards of material lying on the floor were thick like a carpet as she approached. Crouching down, she examined one sharp piece, holding it up to the light.

Unnaturally clear glass, sharp on all edges, seemed to disappear at every other angle. Even as she felt it in her fingers, it seemed as if she was holding something invisible, until a hint of light caught it at the right angle and the entire thing became visible to her again. She could feel the razor edges biting into her skin.

Movement below her caught her eyes. She looked down and saw the other shards shaking slightly, as if trying to assemble themselves together again. The piece in her hand pulled itself away from her like it was attached to a string and jumped away. Her eyes followed the trajectory, where the akuma stood, seemingly made of the glass-like material that had been made of her arm.

The akuma stood in the very center of the stadium-turned-arena and Marinette's mind flashed back to her first battle against Stone Heart in this very location. She had barely been able to escape his grasp the first time, and when the butterfly carrying the evil magic multiplied and spread, she thought the day would be lost. It was the first time that Marinette had acted purely on instinct, in that first battle, and it hadn’t done her any good.

Now, with years of experience under her belt, she was ready, more than ready, to fight this akuma.

The shards of glass covered her in intricate patterns, obscuring the skin that was translucent like the rest of her costume. Marinette tried to focus on all of her at the same time, but as soon as her eyes moved to another part of her body, the previous section was lost to her eyes. It was as if the akuma was disappearing and reappearing just as quickly, transforming before her eyes.

A wicked smile appeared on the akuma’s face, right before her entire body vanished.

Ladybug bent her knees in a ready position, flashes of movement hitting her from the corners of her eyes. She scanned the entire area, trying to find something that would indicate the akuma’s location. She saw nothing. Even the tendrils of glass shards were obscured to her.

A dull, quick impact in her back sent her forward, somersaulting and crouching down, her yoyo streaking out behind her and catching nothing. The air behind her was vacated before she had the chance to make an attack, and there seemed to be nothing else in the vicinity.

A tug at her ponytail sent her reeling around, swinging her yoyo laterally through the air to catch whatever she could. Mocking laughter followed her.

Marinette’s face contorted into a scowl as she resigned herself to listening instead of looking. The faint clink of glass on glass surrounded her, rendering that line of detection useless. Almost imperceptible movement was all around her.

Finally, when Ladybug assumed the mirage took too much energy to maintain, the akuma’s tentacle appeared and bore down on her, crashing directly where she had been a split second before. Her yoyo whizzed through the arm, breaking it in half, but the pieces sewed themselves together as soon as they broke apart. Again, the tendril of glassy anger followed in her path, and Marinette kept her yoyo whistling in circles to prevent any of the tiny darts of glass to come anywhere near her.

They seemed to work simultaneously and independently. Like a well-commanded army. Each piece had their objective, and they worked together when necessary, and took their own charges when the opportunity struck. Ladybug found herself fighting against individual bits with her hands while her yoyo took the majority of the tentacle. Tiny, paper-cut like wounds marred her hands, and eventually her fingers were dripping with blood.

Futilely, she shot her yoyo out with one major swipe, coming down across the line of glass. The tendril burst into fragments, falling to the floor like they did before, bearing their master to her.

Ladybug named this one Mirage, her face shocked and contorted into a dozen different expressions at once. The set of her mouth finally formed into a scowl, and she flashed out of sight again.

Useless while she watched, Marinette set herself to swiping through the air with her yoyo randomly, hoping to catch the akuma. Ladybugs were a symbol of good luck, right? She needed some at that moment.

Something bore into her back, and she felt a long slice of something cutting into her. She tried to bite back a scream unsuccessfully as she rolled away, dodging whatever came next and blindly sending her yoyo out behind her. A gross sense of satisfaction came with the grunt that followed the contact of the yoyo.

Mirage stood, clutching her arm. At least, Marinette assumed that she was. It was hard to tell either way.

After she disappeared, Ladybug took the moment of opportunity to call for her Lucky Charm. A red and black-spotted torch fell into her hands in one moment, and in the next, she was being pummeled in the back with sharp fists.

A quick flip of the switch turned the light on, and she pointed it as she twisted at face the akuma. The brightness caused Mirage to cover her eyes, and for the first time, Marinette could see every movement clearly. The light refracted throughout the akuma’s body, and she stood out from the grassy stadium, clear as day.

Ladybug smirked at the sudden look of panic that came across Mirage’s face, and took that moment to fire her yoyo toward the akuma. She was met with more glass shards firing at her, and it took everything she had to prevent herself from being sliced to ribbons.

When the tendril was dispatched, the torch’s light searched for the akuma. She whipped around in search, making sure to keep moving and prevent another attack from behind. Blood could be felt dripping from her hand, and sliding down her back. It couldn't be said how many wounds she had now, but she couldn’t think of that now. The pounding in her head, ache in her body, and sharp pain of the cuts all over came second to making sure this akuma would never be able to hurt anyone else.

The flash of light was reciprocated as it bounced off of Mirage, and Ladybug bore down, her yoyo hitting her as swiftly as possible to break down her defenses. A chorus of grunts came from her as she was hit again and again, beating her until she had to crouch to the floor and protect her middle. As she went to wrap the thin yet indestructible chord around the akuma and render her immobile, another tentacle of glass blindsided her with a gesture from Mirage. A nearly imperceptible flick of the wrist sent glass shards toward Mari, blocking the yoyo from trapping her in its grip.

Ladybug flew across the stadium, coming to a rolling halt and hitting the ground and the wall hard. She grunted and looked up.

The red torch was half way across the stadium, glinting in the cloudy light of the day, but nothing else seemed to be in the cavernous space. She struggled to stand up, her yoyo retracting into itself slowly. Her eyes scanned and she waited for another attack. For now, she could only play defense until she got the light back.

The face of Mirage appeared in front of her as the stadium lights poured down suddenly. Both clenched their eyes shut to shield from the blinding lights, a thousand times more potent than the handheld torch Ladybug was wielding. The entire space was flooded with light, and her head pounded with hangover and new opportunity.

Finally, she could see the small glass figurine that hung at the neck of the akuma, glittering with its own faint purple light. Marinette went out to grasp it as Mirage flicked her wrist again, sending the glass shards into her. Their pierced into her arm and she cried out with the unbearable pain it caused. The force that knocked her over also brought the akuma-infected necklace to the breaking point, and the chain shattered like glass.

Mirage, her form flickering in the stadium lights, stood tall and intimidating over Ladybug, who looked as crippled as she felt. A wave of hopelessness washed over her as fear settled in her stomach. The feeling was painfully familiar, and unwelcome memories flashed into her mind.

Tears not brought by the shards of glass sticking from her body coursed down her face as she brought the necklace in her hand into the ground. The glass broke in two and a purple butterfly wiggled out.

Ladybug struggled to manually open the yoyo at her side to begin the healing process as Mirage took one last opportunity for attack.

She didn’t know how, because darkness overtook her in those final moments, but the akuma was cleansed.

When she came to, it was with the woman who had been akumatized hovering over her.

“Ladybug? Are you okay?”

Her breath left her body as she realized she hadn’t detransformed. She looked down at her costume, which was still encasing her with red warmth, and felt tremendous relief.

The woman kneeling over her was older than she expected. Lines creased her face and she grasped the glass figurine that had been her sickness tightly in her hand. Her hair was frazzled and unkempt, as were her clothes, but the clearness of her eyes reminded Marinette of the glass she used as her weapon.

Ladybug struggled to sit up. “Yes. Yes, I’m fine.” It hurt even worse to stand, but she did and lent a hand to the woman who had just been cleansed. “Are you alright? You had it worse than me.”

The woman nodded. “Yeah. I think so. I was an akuma?” A tear leaked from her eye.

“You were. But you’re better now. Everything’s going to be okay. I promise.”

Ladybug instructed her with a sure voice to leave the stadium and find help. She couldn’t let her see the pain she struggled against, even while the blood leaked down her side. She watched as the woman made her way from the stadium, shaking and scared, wishing she could have helped, but she would have fared no better. And it wouldn't have benefitted either of them to see the Hero of Paris in such a vulnerable position.

Slowly, she made her way to the middle of the field, where the red spotted Lucky Charm awaited her. There was no enthusiasm in her chant, but she could feel the slight ebbing of pain as healing powers washed over her. They wouldn’t do much, but enough. The rushing feeling of the magic overpowered her and she had to keep herself from collapsing.

Eyes seemed to be watching her as she stood there, but she knew the stadium would be empty by then. There was relatively no structural damage, and anyone who had been hurt would be outside where the paramedics awaited them.

Still, the feeling wouldn't cease.

Marinette shifted her shoulders back and looked around. Cameras pointed to her, watching, and she realized she was being watched. Of course. As she saw more of them, she could see every one was pointing to her, the small light flashing to say they were on. Boldness crept into her belly, and she had to know.

“Can you…” she cleared her throat and tried again, calling louder. “Can you hear me?”

For a moment, it felt ridiculous. She was calling into an empty stadium. Of course no one would be able to hear her. Her shoulders slumped and she began to walk away when the light of the jumbojet screen came to life.

Her eyes latched onto the screen, blank for a moment, then with the pixelated animation of a black cat, with bright green eyes staring down at her. A flush of heat began in her gut. The cat seemed to laugh down at her, bearing bright white teeth, and then it was gone.

The lights of the stadiums crashed off, leaving her stumbling blindly, with more questions than she had answers. As per usual.

[trippinglynet]

THE MAN BURNS AGAIN | By Joshua Samuelsen (1998)

A wooden figure stands silent watching over the desert. His body is expertly crafted, his spiral limbs circle up to join his angular body. His triangular grid-like face is expressionless. At the end of the week he will be burned in front of thousands.

Meanwhile, a community will be created around him, and it will be called Black Rock City. People will come from all over the globe to participate. They will bring sculptures, records, cars, flame-throwers, fireworks, paragliders, costumes and anything else they can manage to squeeze into their U-Hauls, and they will live together under the burning Nevada sun and the clear star-studded nights for eight days. Most importantly, they will bring their imaginations and their deep desire for a wilder, more playful way of life.

The first Burning Man Festival began the Summer Solstice of 1986 when Larry Harvey and Jerry James built an eight-foot tall wooden figure and ignited it on Baker Beach in San Francisco. As the flames began to swallow the structure, the crowd doubled. Harvey and James realized the power that the burning of this wooden man had created.

Burning Man is an experiment in community. This year there were over 350 theme camps. Each of these theme camps was its own mini-universe, from the Space Lounge dome constructed entirely out of CDs, to Infinity Camp, where stomping house rhythms pumped from sunset until morning. Black Rock City and the surrounding desert expanse—known as the playa—seemed strangely immune to law enforcement as we know it in America. Austin Lambe, a video artist based in San Francisco, experienced this peculiar freedom four years ago at Burning Man.

"I was driving across the playa with a DJ station on board with an outdoor sound system plugged into the generator and there were several naked women up on the roof. I was drinking a beer. The next thing I knew, these two state troopers pulled up behind me. I thought, ‘Fuck, I’m going to get deported for this, they’re not just going to lock me up; there are naked people on the roof, I’m drinking, and I’m flying across the desert.’ But they just drove right on by. At that second, I got it. You can do what you want out here, as long as you respect other people."

While Nevada Sheriffs and Deputies were at the event, they were a small, unimposing presence. The main group of people who helped keep order and safety at the festival were the Black Rock Rangers, Burning Man’s own protection / enforcement agency. The founder of these rangers, Michael Mikel, is renowned for his ability to be in two places at once, a valuable talent considering the size of the playa. Known better as the Danger Ranger, Mikel modeled the Black Rock Rangers on the frontier rangers that preserved law and order in the old American West.

"In the frontier states, you had to be sensitive to the needs of the community," says Mikel. "Similarly, in Black Rock City, laws need to be adaptable enough to meet the needs of the community, to ensure that justice and equality are here for all of our citizens. This is probably the freest community in the world today, yet along with that freedom comes a lot of responsibility."

A strong statement perhaps, but a couple of hours on the playa and you start to wonder if he might be right. The community at Burning Man is strongly influenced by the art and values of San Francisco, and so exhibits some of that city’s cultural and artistic wealth. Yet the environment of the Black Rock Desert is not a mini-San Francisco; it is its own world that begs for excess, begs for us to push ourselves to the edge of what we consider acceptable. Black Rock City is centered around the sense of exploring personal and societal boundaries. As we step outside our everyday persona and look upon ourselves with virgin, outlandish eyes, we come to new realizations about who we really are.

One of the most remarkable aspects of Burning Man is how much time and planning goes into the relatively short festival. Yet the ripples of attending Burning Man can be felt by participants months after the event.

"We create this city which exists for just a few days and then we wipe it all out. The only thing that’s left is the experiences of the people who come out here, and information. We use this information to recreate the next city, and the people come back because of their experiences. Some things work, some things don’t work, and we make adjustments accordingly. It’s a process of evolution and I think that that the process of evolution out here holds a great deal of hope for mankind in general." The Danger Ranger

Peter Gault and Amy Rachelle, two performance artists based in Atlanta, returned to Burning Man again this year. Gault, also the author of the book Knucklehead, wrote this about his experience: "We recently stayed nine days in the Nevada Desert at Burning Man. Burning Man is a microcosm of society based on alternative values: art, debauchery, excessive consumption, presided over by the Man himself who is symbolically burned, dying in a blaze of glory."

Burning Man represents a return to the idea of society as a supportive environment for life and growth, instead of being a discouraging one. Burning Man teaches us not to judge by appearances; it breaks us of our habit of pigeon-holing people. Amy Rachelle talked about this sense of freedom: "You should be able to express yourself, walk around in your underwear or just your little G-string or whatever makes you feel good and pretty. In our society that’s looked down upon, but in Black Rock City that’s beautiful, and you’re celebrated for it. It makes me want to come back every year."

On my final night, I was cut across the playa to my temporary home at the Duck Camp on 18th Street. After a minute of walking, the sounds of society began to fade; I paused and looked around. Stars hung low and dazzling above the horizon. The lights of the city were to the right, with uncharted darkness to the left. A thick green laser sliced through crisp air scanning the sky for signs of alien life. I felt so strangely alone and tranquil out there. I sat down and savored the feeling, until I was lying on my back, my limbs and head pointing in the four directions. The playa was buzzing, and without the aid of any substances, so was I. As I began to approach the city, I felt such a strong feeling of closeness to the human race.

Nate Kretzschmar, a festival-goer from Atlanta, Georgia talked about the feeling of acceptance on the playa.

"The part of Burning Man that I enjoyed the most was that I could walk down the street, talk to anyone, say hello to anyone, sit down in anyone’s tent and I was welcome. It seemed like there were no barriers. You could be naked both psychologically and physically out there."

The climate brings out the sense of community in Black Rock City. Day temperatures in the 100’s and ferocious rain and wind storms force people to interact with their neighbors. On my third day there I felt the pressure of the climate. I woke up in my tent at 8 AM and it was already a glorious 100+ degrees. The dust had coagulated with the sweat streaming off my body, creating a gray slime. I had slept barely an hour. Every cell in my body was calling for a Motel Six. But that’s the point; you get through those moments and the community is the structure that helps you through it. You know that most people there are feeling similar to you, and the majority are so cheerful about it.

Burning Man wasn’t all fun and games. The blankness over the playa mirrored the unnecessary weight I was carrying around with me. I like to swim upstream; I like to exhaust myself. My mind felt like it was being physically forced apart by the openness of it all. Inner conflicts and dramas are glaringly obvious in this reflective environment. You realize how free you can be, or perhaps how far you truly are from that stage.

It was Janice Houston’s second year at the event. "I had just woken up frustrated as shit because it was 110 degrees, thinking, ‘Why the hell am I here?’ when this guy teeters over on stilts with a checkered shirt and suspendered pantaloons holding a parasol and says, ‘Welcome home to Black Rock darling, where ya’ been?’ It knocked me out of my mindset and I felt like part of the community."

Part of the Burning Man experience is the challenge of survival. You have to have some manner of shelter out there, and the quality of that shelter determines to a certain extent how comfortable your stay in the desert is going to be. Will your tent be flattened by wind? Is your tarp going to be taken to a neighboring town by a dust storm? Do you have enough water and food? These are very real questions.

One of the surprising aspects of Black Rock City was there was no food vending allowed. There was a central coffee house to help people caffeinate their way through the heat of the day. Everything else in Black Rock City had to be paid for using the barter system. People would barter all sorts of things: food, possessions, stickers, rides, drugs and booze. I heard one happy Black Rock Citizen exclaim, "Bartering is good!" as he swapped something for a vodka cranberry.

Every night the north end of Black Rock City was hopping and pumping to the sounds of house, techno, breakbeat and jungle music. Arcane Alchemy and Pandora brought their booming Urban Assault Squad sound system, which rocked the playa through the days and nights.

"The thrill of the experience for us was doing a free concert, coming out to the desert and supplying enough sound to make everybody happy," they say. "It gets crazy when you create a full-on rave for eight solid days. We saw all kinds of strange things—dancing aliens and people having sex behind the speaker bins."

Their sound system was one of the most popular spots to get your groove on. Pandorra talked about her experience during the dust storm: "We kept the system going for four hours through the wind and rain. We had people hanging onto the tarp to keep it from blowing down. The wind was taking the whole structure over, ripping three-foot sections of rebar out of the ground. Arcane Alchemy just kept spinning [mixing records] the whole time!"

The horizon stands constant at the visual edge of the limitless playa. It is this limitlessness, this untarnished and undervalued grandeur that propels participants at Burning Man to realize the unbounded possibilities in their souls and minds.

Artistic concepts and innovations dot the playa. Nate Kretzschmar experienced one of these mind benders.

"I’m hanging out with this kid way out on the playa at night and we see this little tiny red light way off in the distance, three or four miles away. He says, ‘I’m going to go see what they are, wait for me.’ I tell him he’s crazy and watch him disappear into the darkness. I stand there waiting for ten minutes, but he’s gone. As soon as someone gets a hundred yards from you, you can’t hear a thing. I decide to start walking back, I mean he’s not going to be able to find me out here, even if he is looking for me. It’s pitch black, other than the stars and the lights of the city in the distance. A few hundred yards before I reach the main Esplanade on the south side he comes flying up on his bicycle, gets off and he’s all excited. He’s jabbering at me, ‘You wouldn’t believe it, I get all the way out to the red light and all it is a little table with a typewriter on it that looks like it’s from the 1920s, and a plaque on it that says, "So glad you’ve found me, I’ve been waiting for you for so long."’ We looked out into the playa again and we saw five or six little red lights identical to it, way out there in the desert."

Finally, six days after my arrival, it was time for the Man to burn. As I gathered my equipment to photograph the burning, I knew I was running late. Eventually, I stumbled out onto the playa like a loaded mule, tripod in one hand, camera in the other. I saw them light the two globes that flanked the Man. I was too far away to get a picture. Hurrying, I wanted to get as close as possible before zooming in with my telephoto. A human covered in flames jumped up onto the haystacks under the wooden legs of the Man. I watched the flames jump up and begin to rise. Oh f..., set the tripod up, get the camera, check the camera, film’s at the end of the roll! As I noticed this challenging situation, the flames jumped up to the Man’s body. The pyrotechnics exploded sending up a burst of light so bright that the playa was lit up like a ballpark for several miles around. All I could do was gasp at the splendor, as my camera hung limp in my hand. Some things are better seen with the naked eye.

I walked further toward the flaming interior. Several smaller fires had begun on either side. The explosions continued, flames swallowed the entire structure of the Man. Drums and shouts came from every angle. All of the audience’s faces lit up blood-orange. The energy on Black Rock had torn through the heavens. These people had traveled hundreds of miles to throw off the masks they’d been wearing, to stomp around like wild beasts on the sand, or to learn how to adapt and survive. Now they were celebrating, screaming, drumming, shooting fireworks towards the stars. The sky began to light up with fire. Someone had lit a row of flares. They burnt hot red far away on the playa. Many people had come with objects to throw into the fire. Together we watched it all burn.

I watched as thousands had gathered here in this ancient sea bed for the burning of this figure. Desert horizons reached out like an old man’s palms towards the stars. Anything was possible here; it was a waiting canvas. Here’s a brush, neighbor.

This year, from August 31st to September 7th, Black Rock City was the sixth largest city in Nevada; it could very well be even bigger next year. Volunteers are the backbone of the Burning Man organization. For more information on the festival or how to volunteer visit www.burningman.com.

[tumblunni]

AAAAAAUGH I am so unreasonably upset at how many continuity options just weren’t taken in oreshika 2, and thus how much of the story the english audience totally missed cos we never got the first game dubbed I’m reading thru this awesome LP/translation/summary here and its such a mind blown??

Seriously in oreshika 2/the one they pretend is 1 in english, this particular lady is just one of a million silent personalityless god options in a menu that barely gets more than a single sentence when you select her. All you can guess about her is that she’s vaguely some sort of comic relief lady who’s like.. vain or likes money or something? And says fox sound effects and stupid puns? But in the first game she was a main storyline boss and had A WHOLE ASS TRAGIC BACKSTORY and IS KISUTO’S STEPMOM Like seriously fuckin.. kisuto never even mentions her or talks to her in the second game??? And she never mentions her sad ass backstory?? And im just so mad I didnt appreciate her enough??

Her sad ass backstory i mentioned before when i first linked that LP but I didnt know all the full details then so i may as well start from scratch.

Okay so like.. Kisuto’s role in the first game is still an assistant character, but kind of a mysterious one. He appears as a ghost and says that he’s been magically trapped by the big bad villain dood, and needs your help to get free. And then he’s still as sassy as he was in oreshika 2 but he’s like.. weirdly more mean? he tries to act all assistant but he’s oddly flippant about other people’s suffering and also seems to know more than he should. And then the big twist is that KISUTO IS THE VILLAIN OF THIS GAME! Like wtf thats one way the undubbedness actually paid off, it was double unexpected when I knew him as the sassy helpful onii-chan from the sequel. And I know Seimei in the sequel is still quite a snarkman and quite sympathetic, but like he’s not.. comical? Kisuto as a villain is WAY more cool cos he is! There’s no seriousness in this man’s soul! Even as he’s talking about his tragic sadness he’s doing it in the middle of like.. a fuckin booty dance striptease. With cha cha music. I wish I was joking! Cos you see the fakeout villain guy who looked like some generic fugly cyclops ogre was actually kisuto in disguise, and then he friggin pops out of the guy’s mouth and it should be scary but LITERALLY A BOOTY DANCE STRIPTEASE. WHERE THE UNDIES ARE A WHOLE CYCLOPS. Its like ‘oh no maybe we didnt really kill the boss, he’s getting up’ and then... booty dance. And kisuto pops out. And it was a costume. And what is happening. And like its really confusing cos maybe it was a costume or maybe he was literally eaten by the cyclops and controlling it from the inside?? Cos somehow by defeating the cyclops we unsealed his true power and played right into his hands. And he monologues this whole thing in sassy gyaru style while doing naked supermodel poses, and then hops into a portal while waving sassy bye byes to the audience he just trolled to death Also he is VERY JUSTIFIED AS A VILLAIN, HOLY FUCK! Cos it turns out his motive is because YOUR FAMILY KILLED HIS FAMILY! Seriously, i can see why the japanese fandom is all ‘oreshika 1 forever!’, cos in a lot of ways it seems more like its the sequel?? oreshika 2 goes comparatively standard and formulaic with its premise, like as much as you can do when your premise is so weird. Your clan is JUST a clan that’s been cursed, whereas the first game mixed up your expectations and had this reveal that your ancesters were apparantly actually evil. Also it let you actually play as the ancestors for a brief prologue before the curse happened, which is super neat! Shame though that your first character is randomized based on birthday instead of being customizeable. But I mean oreshika 2 didnt even have birthdays! And also similar for a lot of other things! Like your assistant is just an assistant, whereas i’ve gone into oreshika 1 already knowing that your assistant is either gonna be revealed as a goddess or become a goddess somehow. Tho honestly the reveal of first meeting her in oreshika 2 was kinda great from the perspective of a newbie to the franchise! you spend the whole game only hearing of her second hand and its just ‘she’s the boss of the gods’ and you expect her to be all elegant and serious. But then when you finally meet her she’s this bombastic goofy nerd with cute lil glasses and an ahoge hairstyle and she’s like ‘lets get this party started!’ and poofs up her magic to save the day and also LETS YOU MEET WITH YOUR FIRST CHARACTER FOR A BRIEF MOMENT FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE THE START OF THE GAME. I cried so much!! i wasnt expecting the game to have even saved his data! Its just a quick cutscene where his ghost helps super goddess lady break seimei’s barrier spell, but it was still so damn climactic and great. man I need to talk more about my playthru soon but i have so many screenshots to transfer, lol!

ANYWAY IM GOING WILDLY OFFTOPIC COS IM KINDA DELIRIOUS WITH ILLNESS AND ALSO ORESHIKA HYPE

so where this boss fox lady comes in is that her story is like a ‘be careful what you wish for’ thing. Her prayer for good luck was answered by an asshole god who decided to troll her with everything she wanted, but in a jerkass genie way. She became rich and found a husband, but he was an asshole who robbed her and left her even poorer than before. And then she committed suicide. But where kisuto comes in is that she’d adopted this mysterious baby she found at a forest shrine. And then when she’d got backstabbed by this horrible husband and was left without enough money to take care of her baby, she committed a murder suicide and took him with her so he wouldnt suffer. or, at least, that’s what she thought. Cos it turns out the kid was a baby demigod of some sort, and he cursed her into an oni as revenge, and now she’s stuck here weeping for what she did for the rest of eternity and wanting her baby back :( And like we still have the mystery of who kisuto’s biological parents were, and what happened to lead to him being abandoned in the first place. like, was the protagonist clan’s ancestor really evil or is it a misunderstanding? And is there any way we can resolve this peacefully? Well, I’m assuming so, since Kisuto is your totally non evil assistant guy in the sequel. Though I mean the sequel clan could be a totally different clan, its not very likely this poor lineage would get hit by the same curse twice in a hundred years! He doesnt really have any reason to be evil with anyone else but those assholes who orphaned him. Seriously if it really is true that prologue man and prologue woman did it, I am so on Kisuto’s side here! even if its dumb to take revenge on innocent children who had no part in the crime. Also I feel really sad for foxmom. Like I mean kisuto doesn’t have to be comfortable around her or forgive her when she friggin tried to drown him as a 1 year old. But like its not really her fault either, she was suffering and suicidal and thought she was keeping her kid from suffering too. She was just really mentally ill and needed some help, not a hundred years of being trapped as a weeping ghost werewolf thing. And really all she wants is to see that kisuto actually did escape, and grew up, and he’s okay and even if she knows it would be impossible to accept the apology she wants to say it anyway. Even if this poor kid is off being a villain, at least he;s a happy and healthy villain! seriously why dont you give me a damn dialogue option to tell her kisuto is her sonnnn

this game is so good and im so sad its not get dubbed and im so damn tired and ill and im rambling and ok bye thenk u oreshika for ease my pain by giving me mroe pain for fictional characters SERIOUSLY POOR VILLAIN KID AND FOX MOMMMM