#its like the picture of that chihuahua... growling and then smile

[kargaroc]

tumblr is so scary showing you posts someone made years ago, like I saw a post from an artist I like saying some bs that I won't specify; and I was like ???? then check the date and it said 2016

[absolutepokemontrash]

MC is Half Demon and Blah Blah Blah-

Time for the Group Retreat!

Part 1 Part 2 Lessons 1-5 Lessons 5-6 Lessons 10-12 Lessons 13-15 Part 3 Part 4

I’m quite hyped for this one, ladies, gents, and esteemed readers! For simplicity’s sake, since this is before M!MC and A!MC arrive, L!MC will go back to being referred to as just MC. Enjoy the Headcanons!

Since the previous Underground Tomb incident ended much less violently, Lucifer is now more worried than angry about MC’s rampant shennaniganery.

Like... his kid was poking holes in his totally foolproof “Your cow-uncle went to live on a farm in the human world” story. What if MC somehow got into the attic and got hurt?!

It didn’t help that they were still in this weird phase of their father/child relationship. On one hand, Lucifer obviously cares for his kid, and his kid likes him... but it’s also only been less than three months and we all know how emotionally constipated Lucifer is.

MC’s also getting REAL sus of all the secrets their dear old dad is keeping... doesn’t help that they STILL haven’t went up into the attic.

Anyhoo~ the announcement for the retreat was a barrel of laughs.

“I’m proposing, a group retreat!”

Everyone met Diavolo’s announcement with the exact same confused reaction. It’s like the entire assembly hall was doing the ‘Guy Blinking’ meme.

“A... group retreat?” Lucifer repeated slowly. “For what reason exactly, Lord Diavolo?”

The Crown Prince was giddy with excitement as he explained. “MC told me about their middle school overnight trip and it sounded like it would be quite fun!”

Simeon, Luke, MC, and Solomon were all seated next to each other in the ‘exchange student seats of less importance’. Luke leaned over and whispered a question to MC.

“Why are you so friendly with the crown prince?”

MC smirked and shrugged. “Lucifer had the Demon-Flu and couldn’t go meet with Lord Diavolo last week so I went for him. Lord Diavolo’s surprisingly bad at Connect Four but has really good luck in Snakes and Ladders.”

Luke’s jaw dropped in complete and utter shock and horror.

“We’re playing CandyLand and the Game of Life next time, want to come?” MC added.

“Play CandyLand... with him..?” Luke looked at Diavolo, who was still explaining his plan for the retreat, then looked back at MC. “I’ll only go to shield you from his corrupting influence.”

“Yeah... Corrupting...” MC had to hold back a laugh at the thought of Diavolo, who during MC’s visit lit up like a Christmas tree upon being called ‘Dia’ and believed that Mood Rings were the greatest human invention ever, being a corrupting influence.

“MC! Torture dungeon or no!?” MC was snapped out of their conversation by Mammon shouting at them from his seat.

“What?”

“Do ya think there’s a torture dungeon under the castle, or not?”

“I’m not sure,” MC turned to Diavolo. “Lord Diavolo, is there a torture dungeon under the Demon Lord’s Castle?”

There is in fact, no torture dungeon. Presumably...

Everyone packed up and headed out to the Demon Lord’s Castle!

The fabulous seven all broke several speed limits and traffic laws in order to be there early. Listen, they had to get there before Purgatory Hall, it was a matter of pride.

Besides, what’s the Royal guard going to do? Arrest six of the seven rulers of hell and a kid? Ha. No. Not when Diavolo controls their paychecks.

The rooming situation remained the same, Asmo, Simeon, and MC were roomed together, and MC got to watch Asmo get psychologically profiled by Simeon. It was truly a sight to behold.

MC was nice enough to assure Asmo that they really liked him and thought he was very sweet.

Asmo, not used to being complimented on his personality, almost started openly weeping.

So, the tour of the Demon Lord’s Castle began! Asmo got yelled at by his ex in the painting and the usual batch of idiots got sucked into the catacombs under the castle.

Lucifer wasn’t terribly sure how or if he should express his concern for MC being stuck in the labyrinth.

All these new fatherly feelings of worry are very very odd. He didn’t worry this much for Satan, mainly because Satan was usually the threat.

Even as a baby...

Lucifer found himself checking his DDD every few minutes to see if MC had texted or called from wherever the painting dragged them to, never mind that if they did text he’d hear the phone ding.

“Lucifer, don’t worry too much,” Diavolo patted Lucifer on the shoulder, a bright smile on his face. “Your brothers and MC will be perfectly fine! There’s nothing too dangerous in the catacombs that they wouldn’t be able to take care of.”

Resigning himself to the fact that MC was under the care of his last choices for babysitting, Lucifer put away his DDD. “I know they’ll be fine, but I’m not overly pleased with the situation.” He shot a glare at Helene in the portrait, who rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

“Lucifer worrying about someone, I’m truly, genuinely shocked.” Hearing Satan’s attempt at goading him, Lucifer, flawless demon that he is, resisted the urge to throw his DDD at his brother.

“Quiet, Satan.”

————

“WHY THE FUCK IS A SNAKE DOWN HERE?!”

“ITS HENRY 1.0!”

“YEAH THAT REALLY CLEARS STUFF UP, LEVI!”

MC and Levi continued their screaming match as the group ran for dear life from a giant snake.

Yeah... nothing the brothers couldn’t handle... sure, Lord Diavolo...

They made it out of the scary catacombs... don’t worry.

Lucifer did that parent-thing where he cleaned the catacomb dust off MC’s face with a napkin.

Yay! Parenting!

Failed pillow fight attempt #1 happened that evening. Because Mammon was obsessed with being the fun-uncle and saw his brothers encroaching on his place as favourite uncle.

MC doesn’t know how to break it to him that he’ll probably always be the favourite uncle and he doesn’t have to be such a dumbass to keep his spot.

Scavenger hunt went on as canon dictates.

Asmo had his diva tantrum and stormed off, but MC also wanted to win so they didn’t go after him.

Clearly expecting someone to go beg him to come back, Asmo was very annoyed when no one went after him.

“Um, helloooo? Anyone going to comfort me~?”

“Nope.”

“Well I don’t want your comfort anyway, SOLOMON.”

It was very close, L!MC insisted their loss came from sabotage. No evidence was found but just LOOK at Satan’s face.

Time for the Formal Dance~

If you’re wondering why Luke didn’t say anything when MC was suddenly poofed into their demon form, you’re assuming that Mammon wasn’t in on the “let’s prank the chihuahua” plan.

“Mammon..? Is MC behind you?”

“Nope! Why?”

MC was able to get to the other side of the ballroom with Luke none the wiser! Hell yeah, nothing like screwing with your friend!

So it’s canon that Lucifer is like, a solid 20/10, therefore MC is ADORABLE. What I’m saying is, some of the younger demons asked them to dance.

Asmo was also being MC’s hype man, which was very nice of him. Mammon also tried to give advice on how to be cool and suave. Beel was there for moral support.

“Alright kiddo, you need to be aloof and mysterious! People love aloof and mysterious, that’s why I’m so popular.”

“Don’t listen to him, MC. He flew into a wall as a kid and it killed all his brain cells. Just be proper but not snooty, sweet but not saccharine, friendly but not annoying,”

“Ask them if they want to share some of the hors d’oeuvres.” 

“Okay, first, aloof and mysterious are the last words I would ever use to describe you, Mammon. Second, Asmo I have no clue what you’re asking me to do. Third... Beel that’s the best advice I’ve received in recent memory.”

None of that mattered anyway because MC got swarmed with dance offers.

“Well,” MC smirked and held out their hand at the demon that was bold enough to ask them to dance first. “I admire the confidence.”

The demon’s smile brightened, then dropped completely when their gaze drifted behind MC. “I uh... on second thought... I’m gonna...”

MC’s potential dance partners all quickly scattered to the snack table. The half demon growled and turned around to see their father acting like he didn’t just scare away MC’s groupies.

“Father! What was that for?!” MC huffed, Lucifer rolled his eyes and grabbed MC’s wrist and began to pull them away from the dance floor.

“You’re too young to dance.”

“That’s crazy! They looked like they were my age.” MC protested, their wings fluttering in annoyance.

“Even if they looked to be your age, MC, they’re hundreds of years older.” Lucifer said calmly.

“What about that equivalent age stuff you told me about? Like how Luke is hundreds of years old but by angel/human standards he’s technically younger than me?”

“That doesn’t matter right now.” Lucifer lightly pushed MC towards the hallway that led back to their room.

“But I want to dance with someone!” MC felt their wings involuntarily fluff up.

Lucifer turned and smiled at his dear little brat, crouching slightly to get to their level. “Not on my watch.”

MC’s face was literally this: >:0

Lucifer is out here being the dad in every comedy that involves someone bringing home their partner to meet their parents.

MC was banished to their room, they spent their time angrily reading the manga they had packed.

When Levi escaped the party slightly later MC grilled him for details of what went on after they left.

“Nothing too interesting... except... um...”

“Spit it out, Levi!”

“...lrddiavlondlucferdnced”

“I can’t understand you, stop mumbling.”

“Lord Diavolo and Lucifer danced together...”

“...”

“...”

“I MISSED THAT?!”

So yes, MC’s desire to get a picture of Lucifer sleeping stems from VENGEANCE!

How DARE their father send MC up to their room and make them miss their OTP dancing together!?

So they call up their troupe of idiots and get ready to go be menaces to society.

MC also invites along Asmo because he seemed like he could use the adventure.

And because MC couldn’t plan the prank without Asmo noticing so it was better to just implicate him as well...

“Grrr...”

MC brightened and clapped their hands. “I know that growl!”

“It’s not my stomach, I packed snacks.” MC couldn’t see this, considering the room was pitch black (it must’ve been some kind of magic because demons have excellent night vision), but Beel waved a bag of chips in the air and got to eating.

“No, I’m not talking about your stomach, Beel.” MC skipped towards the source of the growling despite Mammon and Levi’s pleas for them to stop.

Ah! There he was!

“Cerberus!” MC cooed, the three headed dog stopped growling and barked happily. “Whose a good boy? Is it you?”

Cerberus let lose a bark that would probably make anyone crap their pants, but MC giggled and kept petting him. “Yeah! You’re the good boy! You like cuddles! Yes you do! Yes you do!”

A flash of light from a camera caused MC to drop their baby talk voice and stare angrily in the direction where the light came from.

“Whoever took that picture better delete it or I’m going to feed you to the dog.”

Cerberus growled in agreement. What a good boy.

“Well, as nice as this is...” Asmo huffed. “We’ve clearly been duped because this is not Lucifer and Diavolo’s room.”

“Oh well!” MC chirped and continued to pet the three headed dog. “Look at the doggy!”

“MC, you’re crazy. Dontcha ever forget that.” Mammon whimpered as Cerberus growled at him.

So yeah, they couldn’t get out of the room, so they ended up opening up the other door and falling into the catacombs like a bunch of lemmings.

Asmo charmed Henry, and they got out of the labyrinth no problem.

Yay! No consequences! Oh no- hi Lucifer.

Lucifer gave them all the mother of all lectures. Satan showed up with the rest of the gang and brought popcorn.

Belphie wasn’t there, okay? Satan needed to be a little shit for him.

Ah yes, the pillow fight... Mammon’s crusade to be the best uncle culminated in a massive pillow fight that ended with MC, Lucifer, and Diavolo standing over everyone’s unconscious bodies.

So they uh... won the pillow fight.

MC couldn’t sleep. They legitimately couldn’t. As exhausting as the pillow fight victory had been, everyone was snoring, and MC was bleary eyed and awake at one in the morning.

They eventually sat up and looked around, Asmo was passed out in a very unflattering position, Solomon was chanting god knows what in his sleep, Levi was half hanging off Simeon’s bed, Simeon and Luke were sleeping like angels (hehehehe-), Beel was in the middle of eating his pillow in his sleep, Mammon appeared to be dreaming about winning the lottery, and Satan was... suspiciously absent.

He was there a minute ago... weird.

Deciding that this wasn’t worth it and they should just go sleep somewhere else, MC got out of bed and avoided stepping on anyone as they vacated the room.

The Demon Lord’s Castle at night could rival the House of Lamentation in terms of overall creepiness. MC had gotten used to the spirits and curses that littered their home, but they had only been to the Demon Lord’s Castle once before, so they were extra careful not to accidentally touch anything. Their stomach rumbled and they frowned.

Damn, they had the midnight munchies... they needed a snack.

MC made their way to the kitchen and on there way, noticed a peculiar room through a half open door. Taking a few steps back to peek into it, they noticed... doors. A lot of doors. And ivy covered steps. There seemed to be no rhyme or reason to any of the placements, and the room was... weirdly chilly.

“You can come in if you’d like, MC.”

Barbatos’ voice nearly caused MC to hit a high note that they hadn’t been able to hit since their voice began to change. They straightened out their wrinkled pyjamas and stepped inside.

The butler himself was walking down one of the flights of stairs.

“Um...” Quickly remembering their manners, MC straightened their posture and cleared their throat. “Good evening Barbatos.”

Barbatos smiled and inclined his head in turn. “Good evening to you as well, MC.”

“How did you know it was me outside? You were up there a second ago.” MC asked.

“It’s a part of my powers. I can see possible futures, and I foresaw you passing by my room and getting curious.” Barbatos explained.

“Oh,” MC said, half nodding and continuing to look around. A the sound of a door closing out of MC’s vision made them squeak and look around for the source of the noise. “What was that?!”

“It’s nothing to be worried about.” Barbatos raised his hands in a placating gesture. “These doors in my room are gateways to different timelines and some are gateways into the past of this particular timeline. That was another version of me passing by.”

“Does this... happen often?” MC knitted their eyebrows.

Barbatos hesitated before answering. “Not really. It’s quite rare. Lord Diavolo has expressly forbidden me from using my full powers freely.”

“Ah... makes sense...”

“Now, I believe you came down for snacks?”

MC blinked in surprise. “How did you- oh... the time magic...”

“Yes, the time magic. Now, would you prefer yogurt and fruit, or apples and peanut butter?”

“Yogurt and fruit please!”

I’m sure MC’s knowledge of how Barbie’s room works will totally not come into play later. I’m sure.

Solomon and MC graced the brunch table with their cooking. I think you can guess how it would have turned out if Barbatos hadn’t intervened.

Rest In Peace to Beel’s tastebuds.

Anyway, the rest of the retreat was all fun and good.

MC may or may not have slipped up and called Diavolo ‘Dia’ in front of Lucifer. It would’ve sparked a lecture if Dia’s puppy-like excitement wasn’t so damn adorable.

Lucifer’s got a heart... somewhere... it’s probably all shrivelled up and tiny, but I’m sure it’s there.

Everyone went back home, brought closer together through... pillow fights and surviving Solomon’s cooking I guess..?

Anyway, MC got home, unpacked their stuff, watched Kakegurui with Levi and Mammon, let Asmo paint their nails, made and ate dinner with Beel, continued their piano lessons with Lucifer, and received a 100% fake smile from Satan.

It was a nice day with their new family, MC curled up in their bed and prepared to go to sleep.

“Help me!”

MC lurched upwards in their bed, whipping their head from side to side, trying to find the source of the voice. Their room was completely empty, the perks of being half demon extended to being able to see in the dark. No new smells either, they were alone in the room.

Auditory hallucinations were common before falling asleep after being sleep deprived, creepy, but not too unusual.

“MC!”

Okay- that one couldn’t be ignored. It was common knowledge that the House of Lamentation was definitely haunted in some capacity, but the ghosts never really bothered the demons living inside, MC was partly convinced that some of the ghosts didn’t even notice that the demons were there. So it couldn’t have been a ghost calling their name.

“MC! I need help!”

The voice reverberated through their head, like it was trying to hit every part of their skull to make sure it was at least felt if MC couldn’t hear it. MC massaged their scalp and got out of bed.

The House of Lamentation at night truly lived up to its haunted reputation. Cold, clammy, dark, even by demon standards. No spooky old house was going to scare MC though, they walked down the hall with their head held high.

They walked closer to walls and furniture, knowing that the floor was less likely to creak in those areas. How did they know that? Mammon had told them it worked like a charm. Well, it’d work better for him if he stopped tripping over the furniture and alerting Lucifer.

MC was much more nimble and careful, stepping slowly and lightly around the hallways until they reached the door to the attic. They reached out to clasp their hand around the doorknob, then froze. It smelled like…

Oh no.

MC leapt away from the door like it was rigged to explode if they touched it and practically dove for cover into an alcove. The all too-recent smell of Lucifer’s fancy cologne and the increasing sound of someone coming down the stairs made them clamp their hand over their mouth and crouch down.

What was their father doing up there?

He had said the attic was full of old junk and there was no reason to go up there, so why exactly did he-

The door slammed open and Lucifer stomped down the hallway back towards his room, MC presumed. They were about to let out a sigh of relief when the footsteps paused. MC felt their heart drop right into their gut when they heard the footsteps coming back in their direction.

What were they going to say to him when he found them? ‘Sorry! This isn’t where the bathrooms are!’ The last thing MC wanted was to add to their father’s ever growing list of stresses. MC was totally responsible and grown-up, their father didn’t need to worry.

MC clamped their eyes shut and tried to slow their heart rate. Demons were beings of darkness and shadow, they could blend in quite easily. They took a deep breath, cleared their head, and felt the shadows of the hallway shift and cover them like a blanket.

Lucifer’s footsteps stopped, MC heard a tired sigh, then the footsteps started up again, this time in the direction of his room.

They allowed themselves a sigh of relief before relieving themselves of their hiding space and opening the door leading to the attic staircase.

If the rest of the House of Lamentation was considered clammy, cold, and foreboding, the attic staircase was that multiplied by a factor of twelve. MC felt themselves shudder involuntarily when they stepped closer to the staircase. Every primal part of their brain was telling them to turn around and walk away, but one tiny part was holding them back. They placed their foot on the first step, waiting for any kind of resistance, nothing other than the feeling of passing through invisible cobwebs.

“MC?”

Upon hearing their name, MC craned their neck to try and get a look at what could be waiting for them at the top of the stairs.

“Are you coming, or not?”

The cascade of warning sirens that began to blare in MC’s head went ignored as they continued to scale the staircase.

When they reached the final step, they were met with a long hallway, with a single door on the right side of the wall.

“H-hello?” MC tried to instill some force into their voice, but it still ended up quavering a little.

“Down here.” Someone knocked on the wall next to the door, almost causing MC to jump.

Oh. Oh no. MC stood straight in front of the door, and when they saw who was looking back at them they nearly passed out.

“Belphegor..?”

Belphegor’s eyes flashed as he gave MC a once over. His eyes narrowed when his gaze snapped to MC’s. The analytical expression melted into a lazy grin.

“That’s me,” he said softly. “Nice to finally meet you, MC.”

[sam14cookies]

Chapter 4

word count:648

Vigilante Masterlist

~

We were split up into 3 groups. Peacemaker was with Adebayo, Vigilante was with Harcourt, and I somehow got stuck in the van with Economos. I watched the monitors, ignoring the smalltalk Economos was trying to make with me.

After a bit, we heard shouting and gunshots over the comms. Everything seemed fine until we heard growling and crashing.

“Harcourt, do you copy?” Economos said into his comm. “Vigilante?”

When he didn’t get a response, I grabbed the chainsaw Vigilante had earlier and ran into the building to help. Of course, Economos was trying to stop me but hesitantly followed me anyways, grabbing a stray piece of metal off the ground like that might actually help. We followed the sounds of the growling and we finally stumbled upon a gorilla.

I revved the chainsaw and stuck it in the gorilla’s back, slicing it up the center. Blood sprayed all over my face. The gorilla collapsed and everyone was stunned at what just happened. Vigilante ripped his mask off.

“That was so hot,” he said to me, practically drooling. I smirked.

“That was fucking awesome, man,” Peacemaker said to me, blood all over him too. He must’ve been closer to the gorilla than I thought. He high-fived me.

After Vigilante stopped drooling, he ran over to me, pulled me into his arms, and kissed me like his life depended on it. His tongue swiped at my lip and entered my mouth. We heard everyone groan in disgust.

“Y’all are nasty,” Adebayo said and fake gagged.

–

Back in the van, I was sitting next to Economos with Vigilante across from me. We were listening to 11th Street Kids by Hanoi Rocks again.

“You fucking killed a gorilla with a chainsaw, man!” Peacemaker said to me, very impressed.

“Who the fuck does that?” Economos said from beside me.

“She fucking does,” Peacemaker haigh-fived me again.

“Maybe the next gorilla…?” Vigilante started to say, obviously wishing he was the one who killed it.

“If we find another butterfly gorilla, he’s all yours,” I winked at him. He smiled and a small blush spread across his cheeks.

–

At HQ, we were all trying to process what the fuck just happened.

“We defeated a gorilla!” Adebayo exclaimed.

“Technically, I think it was a super gorilla, since we pulled a butterfly out of its brain,” Economos interjected.

“ Definitely a super gorilla,” Peacemaker said. “The last time I fought a gorilla was at Burning Man four years ago.”

“Do I even want to know?” I asked him. He made a face indicating that I, in fact, do not want to know what happened.

“So,” Harcourt started. “We think this means butterflies can use any life form as a host.”

“Chihuahua?” Vigilante asked immediately.

I smacked my forehead, expecting nothing less from him. “It probably wouldn’t fit.”

“Would be cool though,” he said, chuckling.

“That wouldn’t be cool at all,” Harcourt said. “Why would that be cool?”

“You tell me.”

“It wouldn’t.”

“There’s your answer,” he said matter-of-factly. Harcourt rolled her eyes and sighed at him.

–

Later that night, I was sitting in my apartment watching tv by myself since Adrian was at work. I heard my phone sitting on the coffee table in front me go off. I picked it up and saw I had a message from a group called 11th Street Kids. Slightly confused, I opened it to see it was Harcourt who had started a group chat with the team. My phone went off again. This time, a picture appeared in the chat. I couldn’t help but smile. It was a candid picture of all of us, minus Harcourt, in the van, laughing our asses off. I saved it to my camera roll and sent a few glitter heart emojis. My phone went off a few more times with everyone else’s response. Of course, Adrian sent a merman emoji. It was his favorite.

[britishassistant]

Eurydice and Izanami Didn’t Complain Half As Much

The human won’t take the bed.

Beel’s honestly begun measuring his interactions with the human by what it won’t do more than what it will.

It won’t eat or drink anything other than bottled water, even when its movements are growing so slow and sluggish that it makes Beel’s belly rumble both in commiseration and with the promise of easy (if unsatisfyingly stringy) prey. It’s been nearly two weeks already— it frightens him how easily it can deny itself, even when Lucifer forces it to sit with them at breakfast, lunch and dinner, scowling down at the table full of food but not eating any of it.

It won’t stop trying to escape the Devildom, slowly driving up Lucifer’s blood pressure with every attempt to slip out of the House of Lamentation, to scale the fences at R.A.D., to run away when escorted into town. It even tried to escape when he threw the fridge at Mammon for his pudding and it missed and went through its room, using the confusion of the fight to jump out of the now broken window, only for his eldest brother to materialize outside and use it as a projectile to knock him and Mammon out of their brawl.

And now it won’t take the bed.

Instead, it’s trying to curl up on the floor under the couch, without even a pillow.

“I can take the couch.” He tries again. “You have the bed.”

The human snorted. “Did you not hear me the first time? I don’t want the bed or the couch. I want to sleep here.”

“On the ground.” Beel says doubtfully.

”Yes.” 

“In your uniform.” Beel eyes the wrinkled skirt and shoe’d feet of the human.

“Yes.”

”Without a pillow.”

”...Well I won’t say no if you have one to spare.” The human admits grudgingly. “But I’m sleeping here, and that’s final.”

Beel puzzles over this statement. “Are you going to try to escape during the night if you sleep there?”

There’s a suspiciously long silence. The human won’t look him in the eye.

”...no.” It says, unconvincingly.

He thinks he’s starting to understand the twitch that’s been forming in Lucifer’s left eye. Does this human not know the meaning of taking a break? It’s like dealing with Belphie’s stubbornness when it comes to waking up or getting out of bed, but in reverse.

”Fine.”

The human’s face brightens for the first time since he’s met it. “Finally, at least one of you lot is sen—“

Beel sweeps all the sheets and pillows off his bed onto the floor, and goes to the cupboard and pulls out the extra bedding to add to the pile.

”Whaaaat are you doing?” The human asks.

”Sleeping here.” Beel says innocently, trying to get comfortable on the padding he’s laid down, creating a sort of nest for himself between the couch and the door. One that the human won’t be able to pass without risking stepping on him if they try to sneak out. “And that’s final.”

The human looks almost comically offended, staring at him in open-mouthed indignation.

It huffs and snatches a pillow from his pile for itself, turning it’s back on him with purpose, like Asmo in a snit. “Whatever. You get the lights then. I can’t sleep unless it’s dark.”

”Sure.” He replies agreeably, standing to flick them off and grinning where the human can’t see him. It’s kind of fun messing with them, maybe even more fun than teasing Mammon or the angel chihuahua. The absent-minded thought wanders through his brain, wondering if this would’ve been what Lilith would’ve been like, if she’d survived the fall with them. She always got pouty when she was teased too.

Then Beel realizes what he’s thinking, and the gaping maw of guilt in the pit of his stomach becomes unbearable. The smile drops from his lips as he flicks the lights off.

He rummages in his drawer until he finds what he’s looking for. He munches on his sandwich as he fumbles his way back to his bed for the night.

”Are—are you seriously eating again?” The human’s tone is incredulous.

”I’m hungry.” He mutters darkly, polishing off the last few bites and ripping open the packet of chips as his stomach gurgles again.

The gurgling continues even after the pangs in his stomach have stopped. 

Beel’s lived a long time. Long enough to be able to distinguish and recognize each of his stomach noises telling him what he’s hungry for.

That was not his stomach noise.

”...”

”...You’re hungry, aren’t you?”

The human shifts in the dark, little more than a shapeless mass under the couch. “I’m fine. I’ve dealt with worse for longer than this.”

Beel...doesn’t know if he likes the sound of that. “If you’re hungry, you should eat.”

That provokes a bitter laugh. “Ha! Words of an adult who’s never gone without.”

He scowls at its shape in the dark. “I’m always going without. Nothing keeps me full. Nothing makes me full. I can eat and eat and eat, and I’ll still be as hungry as I was when I started. But even eating a little when I can is better than not eating anything at all.”

He can smell it, the human’s scent almost choking at this proximity. It’s odd, a spicy, rich scent like cardamom studded pork with an undercurrent of something...not quite right to it. Almost curdled, somehow.

Beel’s mouth salivates, no matter how many chips he tries to fill it with. His stomach and tastebuds can handle any food, no matter how long it’s been left out to sour. In some cases, he finds it improves the flavor of his meal. He’s never eaten a living human that’s smelled spoiled before though.

He wonders what it tastes like.

”Well if you can find me some human food that I know won’t trap me here for all eternity, then I’ll eat.” The human growls back. “Or, even better idea! Just stop wasting everyone’s time and send me home altogether! Then you and your brothers and me and mine can all live happily ever after the way we were meant to. Out of each other’s hair.”

Oh.

Oh.

“You have brothers?” He tries to keep the tremble in his voice under control.

Tries not to picture Belphie, miserable and alone and lost in the human world, fighting with all the impotent ferocity of this human to get out, get out, get away, get back to him.

He misses Belphie. He misses Belphie.

The human shifts again in the dark. If the light under the door from the corridor could pass Beel’s bulk, he thinks he’d see it glisten off it’s wet eyes peering at him. “Well. One biological one. And an adopted one, and an adopted sister who’s his biological sister, but it’s. Complicated.”

Beel contemplates this. “Siblings are siblings. We’re not all related by blood.”

“I know that.” The human snaps, sounding oddly irritated. “It’s just...are they your adopted siblings if you and your best friend kinda adopted them together? Like, Shio and Asahi call us all ‘big brother’ and ‘big sister’, but who do we say has custody, really? Cause they love him and he really loves them, and they’re so good for each other, and I don’t wanna take that away from him, but...”

Beel doesn’t quite understand the thread of this complaint. Not in the least because his best friends have always been his brothers and sister, no matter how much they drive each other up the wall.

“Is your best friend not your brother too?”

There’s a sharp crack.

“FUCK!”

Beel’s salivating gets worse at the sudden iron tang of blood.

“Are you okay?” He asks, as he desperately tries to swallow it back down, standing to go grab some more food and maybe a towel for the human.

There’s a pained groan. “Y-yeah. Just...tried to sit up. Forgot about the couch.”

“You can still take the bed.” Beel points out, warring between trying not to breathe in through his nose and get ambushed by more of that delicious scent and keeping his mouth shut enough not to drool all over himself.

“No, I’m sleeping here, fuck off.” The human grumbles petulantly. It yelps a little when he throws the handtowel at it.

Beel inhales gratefully as the scent is finally muffled somewhat.

“And no. He’s not. My brother, that is. He’s my best friend.” The human said, as if the distinction was somehow important.

“…What’s the difference?” Beel asks, confused.

The human sighs explosively, as if this is a monumental chore he’s forced on it. “I-I don’t kn—! You’re related to one and not the other?! I just—! Are your brothers seriously all you have, because if so, you need to get out more, you know that?! Find people who won’t belittle you every damn second of the day. Get more healthy relationships, or all that jazz. Fuck, I don’t know, I’m not a therapist!”

Beel chews on the first mouthful of his second bag of chips as he digests this tirade. Apart from the insults towards his brothers, the meat of their argument about the difference between “best friend” and “adopted sibling” seems to be centered around the idea of the relations between both? But technically, one wouldn’t be any more related by blood to an adopted sibling than they would be to a best friend (a fact that Levi has tried to impress upon him many times when trying to explain the ‘ships’ in some cartoon or another), so what’s the distinction…?

Something clicks in Beel’s head, as he momentarily halts in chewing his ninth serving of chips.

“Oh.” He says, swallowing his mouthful. “Are you in love with your best friend romantically or something?”

There’s a moment of silence.

Then the human explodes into a flurry of noise, sputtering and swearing and near-shrieking unintelligibly, it’s scent growing stronger as blood and adrenaline pumps through it on what smells like double-time.

Beel has no idea what the big deal is, as the human lobs the pillow he gave them in his general direction and misses by a mile, but that certainly explains a few things.

He tilts the end of the bag up towards his mouth as he reflects on how whiny Asmo will be once he learns the real reason this human has been ignoring him so throughly. It almost makes him want to hold off on telling his brothers, but the idea of all the colors that Lucifer could turn, knowing precisely why the human won’t play his and Diavolo’s game, makes it far too good an opportunity to pass up.

Lilith would’ve loved something like this, a story of “true love” and “star-crossed romance”. Belphie will find it hilarious when he gets back, a human trying to defy the forces much greater than it for something so fickle and fleeting.

In the moment, Beel just tries to tune out the human’s shouting as he rolls over to get some sleep.

[yes-another-obey-me-blog]

would the boys get broody if they saw omega mc taking care of a joint one? (*Cough* Luke *cough*)

 Ooohhh yes all the brothers love it.

Luke was homesick, he missed the light of his realm, the warmth and he also missed Michael but it's not like he would tell anybody that.  you knew something was up when he didn't react to being called chihuahua and even brought in burned sweets to snack on.  At first, you were uncertain on how to act, Luke was an angel and angels are all gamma so he's never been around an omega nor is he used to how they act when a pup is distressed.  But after you saw tears start to form in the poor boy's eyes you had to act, omegas gave comfort and Luke really needed it.  You started to talk to him asking what was wrong and if you could help, he said no at first and tried to show he was fine but when your scent hit his nose and your smile showed you knew he was lying he cracked.

You held him and rocked him until his tears stopped and he could talk again the poor pup was a balling mess as he went on and on about his troubles.  He even buried his face in your neck to inhale more of your scent, when his wails turned to whimpers you purred a bit just to give him that final push of comfort.  He eventually fell asleep curled up in your lap your hands running through his hair.

  Lucifer.

- He was passing by with a stack of papers to give to Diavolo when he heard you purr and could tell you scent changed.

- Well now wasn't this a sight, a human omega coddling an angel gamma.  At first, he was upset that you were taking up room in the hallway but slowly the picture changed.  

-  The little blond boy changed to a child with black hair and small black horns coming in and your complexion.  You looked a bit older, in the prime of your life and barring a mating bite and his pact marked your skin.  Only. his. Pact.  He shook his head.  Startling you and making Luke stir.

 “I’ll call Simeon to come and get luke.  Nothing is wrong Mc, I was just thinking about something.  Oh, don't worry about it its just a vision I have for a project that I intend to make happen.  Don’t worry I‘ll let you know when you can help.”

Mammon.

- When he found you comforting luke he did the Mammon thing he started to make fun of Luke.  someone tell him the Mammon way wasn't always the smart way.

- With Luke whimpling again and Mammon riching over to tussle his hair you did the protective omega thing.  You growled and nipped at his hand.  With a startled yelp he yanked his hand back.

- At first, he was angry until he saw that look in your eyes, it reminded him of a dragon guarding their treasure.  This was you guarding something precious, this was you protecting a pup that wasn't even yours the thought of you protecting his made him humm.

“Yeah, yeah I’m sorry I didn't mean to upset ya and I’m not gonna take your treasure omg- Mc.  So how many would you want anyway?  Treasures I mean.”

Levi.

- When he saw this he was hit with jealousy but not in the way he expected.

- His mindset, Luke is Simeon’s pup, your loving on and holding Simeon’s pup, Luke is your pup and your Simeon’s mate.  Yeah, he’s angy about this thought progression.  

- He never saw him as someone who would want pups but now he’s thinking about you having someone else's pups and its killing him.  But if he adopts Luke that makes Luke his pup and you his mate.  Ok yeah, that's the game plan.  

“Hey, Mc what was your first anime?  You know the one you watched when you were a pup?  I ask because I want to invite Luke over for an anime binge and I want to have appropriate content for our- I mean the pup.”  

Satan.

- He knew that look in your eyes, the look of parental affection.  Something he never got. Something all pups need to develop in a healthy way.

- It's more of he knows you can help a pup develop in a healthy way that attracts him.  The way you pet Luke's hair and stop right above his neck, you’re protecting his neck without even thinking.  You don’t look tired in the environment around you, you know it's not safe for you to snooze here with the pup.

- He smiles and sits a good distance away from you, you have a pup with you and he’s an alpha, he doesn't want to get bit. He takes out his sketchbook and starts sketching you holding a pup that looks more like him and you then luke.

“Yes, I’m drawing something Mc its just something I need for future reference, a reminder of a goal I want to achieve.  Trust me Mc, I don’t need luck to achieve this.

Asmo.

- Ok, this was totally cute!  He had to silence his squeal when he saw this!

- He HAD to get some pictures of this!  He took so many pictures of you and luke and then he had to be in some of them.  With him being a Gamma omega you felt no threat.  

- Taking a look at the pictures with him in it he saw it as a family photo, you him and a pup.  A sad smile covered his face, this can never be though.  Due to being the avatar of lust, he can’t sire or carry pups...but Solomon can sire and you can carry...He’s always wanted more than one love anyway! 

“Hey Mc, what do you think of Solomon?  He’s pretty sexy, right?                           “Oh, Solomon~ you want pups right?  Your right, I can’t help with that but, Mc can, what do you say?”  Wanna add a third to this relationship?”

Beel.

- This alpha would be the most open about his affection and his intention.  

- He loves the look of you with a pup, a thought at comes to mind is you cooking with a pup in your arm and another two by your feet.  He wants a big family and he wants to start soon.

- He walks up to you and Luke barring his neck so you know he’s no threat to you or the pup in your lap.  He sits next to you and places a hand on Luke's head.          

“He’s so cute like this you know...How many would you want?  Oh, when you figure it out let me know, I’d be happy to help you.  Especially if you want a lot twins are genetic you know.”

Belphie.

- This lazy alpha heard you purr and cam for the naps that would follow.

- Only to see his spot was taken by a little welp.  Belphie is a very possessive alpha, he does not share except with Beel so he the kind of alpha who would growl at the sight.  Causing you to growl back and pull Luke closer to you.

- Huffs and walks away, the only time he would get broody with Mc is during the pregnancy for all the sleepy naps that come with it.  He would feel different if the pup was his own, but with Luke, he’s not happy. 

“Why bother with a needy angel?  If you want pups so bad then have mine, don’t go seeking another alpha’s pup to care for.  I don’t care if Simeon is a gamma the point is I want you to have my pups and no one else's.” 

[mammonspeanut]

What if one day Barbatos managed to get Luke and MC to a secret place just to chill for a bit and the three made each-other flower crowns? Luke makes one for MC, MC makes one for Bar-bae-tos, and Barbatos makes one for Luke.

Some of y’all are going to hate me like a lot because these have been sitting for a while in my ask box, lol but here we go. I hope this is what you guys thought of. 

It was a scorching summer day when Barbatos spent his weekend in a different timeline. Laying on the cool floor of his room he wiped the sweat from his forehead as his bare chest slowly rising and falling he turned his head to one door in his room. Maybe he would just run into the freezing cold that would at least do the trick. Chuckling to himself, he remembered the time when he did that only to come back with a cold. Suddenly the clock chimed lunchtime, but it was to hot to eat something, especially after baking all day with Luke the day before. Groaning out in discomfort Barbatos wondered what Luke was up to, the little angle was not used to the heat in the Devildom especially when it was too hot even for demons, and the human? Maybe he should check on both of them. 

---

“I am not walking through that door with you,” Luke whined as the sweat dripped down his face, his small fingers grasping onto MC. 

“Luke please don't touch me its so hot... “ MC begged their breath heavy. Wondering how to get Luke to join him through the door, Barbatos smiled. 

“I guess you are just to scared to go through it,” Barbatos said dramatically shaking his head. “I guess it’s just you being such a small scared-y chihuahua.” 

“I-I'm not a scared-y chihuahua. I will prove it!”, Luke whined before shutting his eyes tight and running through the door. 

“You know that is mean,” MC chuckled trying to get the bandage on their face to stick to their sweaty skin before entering the door. 

“Ahhh MC look its so nice look at all the flowers and the cool wind,” Luke swooned as he let himself drop in the middle of the flower field. 

“Finally I can breathe,”, Mc sighed before running up to Luke tickling him. Barbatos dropped himself next to them and shut is eyes just feeling the breeze of the air. 

After a while, Barbatos suddenly felt fingers in his hair opening his eyes in confusion he noticed Luke and MC braiding flowers into it. 

“You know flower crowns would be easier?”, Barbatos asked. 

“Whaaaaaa, Let’s make those then! I’ll make one for MC!” Luke chimed. 

“Then I’ll make one for you Barbatos and you can make one for Luke,” MC smiled.

“Well, I do have quite a few flowers already but I guess you can never have too many,”

----

“No Satan you do not understand how fucked up this is,” Mammon shouted clenching his fist. 

“I do but what are we supposed to do? Kill him?” Satan asked. 

“Yeah, probably because he is some pervert that would probably sell MC off to make some money,” Mammon hissed grabbing his brother by the collar. 

Satan averted his eyes, knowing that Mammon most likely had a point.

After Mammon had lost his hands Satan had made a trip to the prince’s palace. Confused why he was not greeted he checked many until he found Diavolo’s private room. 

At first he wanted to close the door, but out of the corner of his eye he noticed a frozen frame picture of MC’s nude body on his TV. Sneaking in and slowly closing the door, Satan quickly made his way to the royal’s bed. Checking the volume and the exact minute where the video was paused, he turned off the sound and played the video. Disgusted by what he saw, he checked the other videos of MC that Diavolo had saved. Of all the times the brothers had abused them and many comprising MC being nude.

Quickly bringing the screen to its former state, Satan snooped around. Checking drawers and under the bed. It didn’t take long for him to find the prince’s private diary, and what he read there made even his blood freeze. 

“You, You don’t have to tell me that,” Satan yelled annoyed “But I’m not ready to have my teeth kicked in on the curb of the street,” 

“Fuck but you did it to MC!”, Mammon snorted 

“Oh just shut up, I know what you did to MC, I know how you touched them I know what you made them do to you, so don’t give me that, you did much worse Mammon,” Satan spat “Remember what Diavolo did to us when we confronted him the last time?”

Mammon froze mid-step before reaching for his throat. 

“I do...”, Mammon mumbled “But we can’t just keep going,” 

“Since you will not let it go, I will think about something, just lie low until I tell you about it,” Satan said as he watched his brother chew on his nails. Not sure what they would do yet, but they had to do something. 

----

“Come on MC, just let me have a little bit of you,” Diavolo growled as he had MC pressed against the wall, their legs wrapped around his hips. 

“NO, just let me go!”; MC demanded, pressing his face away from them. 

After arriving back from their trip, MC tried to sneak out of the palace after staying back and helping Barbatos take out all the flowers. Hearing the floor creak behind them, MC turned around only for Diavolo to swiftly lift them up and press them against the wall. 

“You look so delicious in that dress,” he grumbled, his erection pressing against MC. 

“Wtf dude put MC down!” Mammon yelled, running up to Diavolo. 

“You fucking perv MC said no!” Satan said turning into his demon form. 

Looking at the brothers approaching them, Diavolo chuckled before turning into his demon form. “Imagine if I’d fuck you now, you'd be so small on my cock,” Diavolo murmured, pressing himself even more against MC. 

“Lord Diavolo,” Barbato's voice cut through the noise. “Let them go,” 

“My my Barbatos, you surprise me every time. Especially when I caught you watching MC masturbate while you jerked off to it,” Diavolo chuckled deeply as he wrapped his hand around MC’s throat, choking them in front of the three. 

“You sadistic asshole!”, Mammon barked as Satan’s tail surred past him. 

Satan opened his mouth slowly as he recited what he had read in Diavolo’s diary only to be met with a laugh.

“So you think you three can take me on?” Diavolo asked, letting MC drop to the floor before quickly reaching out to grab one of them. Suddenly his nails penetrated soft flesh, blood dripping down his hands as his eyes widened. 

“No!”, Diavolo called out his hand in MC’s chest. 

“Oh no...”, Satan gasped 

“This isn’t good, ”Barbatos whispered as he watched Diavolo drag his hand out of MC

“No shit,” Mammon snarled.

“Mammon, the Devildom we know is over...,”Satan said as they watched Diavolo cradle MCs limp body.  

[thejamaicanweeb]

Mitosis - Soul Division Prologue: The Average Candidate

A/N: Hey there! This is just an OM fanfic I’m writing with two MCs based on my two best friends in the entire world. Based on the main stories, Devilgram stories, texts and events. I hope you enjoy it! -Jisa

EDIT!!!: I cannot believe I forgot this! TRIGGER WARNING FOR IMPLIED ABUSE! (Honestly, being beaten as discipline is such a common thing here; it never even occurred to me that what was every day and normal here could trigger someone else I am so so sorry Q_Q)

Name: Sinai

Age: 23

DOB: 08/09/1996, Sunday 11:58 pm

Highest Level of Education: Associates Degree BB Med Sci. Undertaking an MBBS degree.

Race: Human

Region: South America and the Caribbean

Shadows obscured the rest of the information. A black-gloved hand picked up the profile that had slipped from the short stack of papers on the desk. Intelligent scarlet eyes scanned the rest of the page quickly, then glanced at the small picture fastened to the upper right-hand corner. 

The young woman in the picture beamed up at him. A wide smile crinkled her russet brown eyes shut. Large red glasses sat on top of a short nose. While her round face made her appear a few years younger at first glance, dark under-eye circles added the years back. The raven-haired demon placed the paper on the desk and ground the heels of his palms against his eyelids, trying in vain to rub the gritty feeling of fatigue away. He stifled a yawn as his DDD rang. 

“Hm?” 

“Lucifer?” 

As always, Diavolo sounded animated, even in the early hours of the morning 

“You’re still awake, I see. Decided yet?” 

Lucifer sank back into his chair. The weight of his exhaustion sat on his chest, pushing the air out in a sigh. 

“Not yet,” he responded, brushing his hand over his forehead.

“Hey, don’t agonize over this for too long, all right? You can just pick one at random, really. Besides, it’s pretty late and you’ve been running on fumes as is.”

“I’m fine.”

“You fell asleep mid-sentence at lunchtime.” Diavolo pointed out

Lucifer made a non-committal sound as he glanced down at the profile in front of him. The time on his wristwatch made him regret checking (as it usually did). He had long since stopped trying to keep track of the scores of profiles that had made the shortlist of humans. They blurred together after the first hundred or so. He glanced at the paper in front of him and closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“You know what? Yes, I have decided. At least this one seems less... mischievous than Solomon.” he muttered as an afterthought

“Oh? Great! Send a picture?”

“Sure.”

Diavolo pulled the DDD away from his ear as the message came in. He switched the call to speakerphone.

“I see what you mean,” he commented with a laugh, “Well, she seems nice enough,”

“I suppose so. What should I do with the rest?”

“Ah, don’t worry about it now. Get to sleep! It’s not like they’ll run away,”

Lucifer rolled his eyes. He could practically see Diavolo waving off his question. He glanced at his watch again and groaned internally. 

“Fine,” he conceded, turning off the desk lamp and ending the call. As he stood and stretched, a draft entered, making the flames in the fireplace dance and disturbing the pile of papers.

“Oh, no you don’t!” he growled, slamming his DDD on top before striding across the room to latch the window shut.

Unbeknownst to him, a single candidate had escaped, whisked out into the chilly night air. It danced erratically across the starry sky, fluttered through the wrought iron bars of the gate before coming to rest on the sidewalk for a moment. The wind whisked it upwards and then:

Rip!

A small dark clawed hand snatched it out of midair, perforating the margins. 

“Hey.” said the small horned creature, nudging its companion. Its voice lay somewhere in the territory between a hiss and a high-pitched rasp. It brought to mind the image of nails scraping a chalkboard; it made your hair stand on end. “Look at this.”

The small group glanced around before swiftly melting into the shadows, their dark essence silently oozing around the corner into a hidden alleyway. One by one they re-materialized, their razor-sharp teeth on full display as their ever-present malevolent grins further widened, distorting their faces.

“Interesting, very interesting” one finally broke the silence, squinting at the paper.

“If this is one candidate for the exchange programme…”

“...it would be a shame if a human was killed during such a delicate attempt at diplomacy,” another continued, its tongue flickering out briefly.

“If Diavolo finds out about this, he’ll have our tails for sure,” one of them quipped, its tail nervously twitching back and forth.

“Please, there are millions of us. There’s no way they’d be able to pin it on us,” scoffed the Little Devil holding the profile. “Besides, when has anyone really cared about us lesser demons?” 

“Humans are the weakest creatures across the three realms and if this stupid programme works out who knows what will come next? What if they expect us to stop eating them? What if they expect us to start viewing them as… as equals?” it hissed, the distaste in its voice palpable. It looked up, its glowing eyes meeting those of each of its companions’.

“We’re already at the bottom of the food chain here. I’m not about to answer to humans. It’s- it’s just unnatural. Anyway, are you with me or not?”

“We’re with you,” someone piped up. The others nodded in agreement. 

“Good.”

The dark talons scraped across the photograph of the human, leaving three parallel gouge marks. They all leaned in as their ringleader lowered its voice to a harsh whisper.

“Here’s what we’re gonna do…”

                            (づ￣ 3￣)づSTAGE CHANGE(づ￣ 3￣)づ

The human’s picture and summary were pinned to the notice board hours before the occupants of the House of Lamentation stirred. At least those who had bothered to go to bed at all. Lucifer paused briefly on his way out the door. Nothing about the human felt familiar. Pride wasn’t a vice that she struggled with. Based on what he could discern, being self-effacing was second nature to her. A smirk with equal parts contempt and sadism came to his face as he left, as he contemplated how to break her in the face of his sin. I hope your resolve is firm, human. I could do with a challenge.

                                                          (⌐■_■)

“Has Lucifer lost it? She looks like a kid! Did the chihuahua need a playmate or something?”

“I know this might be hard, but don’t be stupid. Her cheeks are just a bit chubby. What kid has acne scars like that? Hasn’t she heard of retinols?”

The taller of the two snorted and snapped a picture of the notice board to send in the group. Intense ultramarine eyes flickered up to the picture for a split second before he walked off, his key-chain swaying with every step. In a fluid motion, he pushed his hair off of his forehead and affixed his trademark sunglasses to his face.

“Do you know her?” his brother called after Mammon’s retreating figure

“Ain’t seen her in my life.”

With that Mammon left, his mind already on the business opportunities he’d laid out for the day.

                                                     (✿◠‿◠)

Asmodeus continued to survey the young woman, absentmindedly tapping a manicured finger to the corner of his mouth. He had met her only for a moment. That was strange considering her age. After a few more seconds of scrutiny, he shrugged and went back to his room to continue his weekly detox. No doubt existed in his mind that she would fail any test he presented her with. Who wouldn’t, especially since it was so much fun? Who wouldn’t want to fall to the world’s most popular sin?

                                                         (ง •_•)ง

Towers and towers of books, all rather precariously stacked, surrounded the Avatar of Wrath as he worked. He tossed his DDD carelessly on his bed about two hours earlier, freeing himself from distractions while he finished his Latin assignment. In all fairness, he finished what the lecturer required him to do but the number of languages from the human realm that originated from the official language of the Devildom. Despite being engrossed in a particularly large tome, he navigated his way around shorter piles without losing his balance. He picked up his phone and checked the notifications.

“Sinai, huh? Interesting name.”

He shut his eyes, pensive. She was familiar, but he didn’t know her personally.

When he opened his eyes he was glaring down at the human, towering over her tiny three-year-old form. She was crying, her large russet eyes pleading along with her choked childish voice that she didn’t want to read. He raised his palm. The crying redoubled and the picture book fell to the floor.

She was older now, maybe about nine or ten, but she was still crying. Black and blue marks were just barely visible against her chestnut-brown skin. He was yelling at her for lying about wearing her retainer.

Satan was then watching a scene unfold before him. Two men were standing in a kitchen yelling at one another. A middle-aged woman was trying to deescalate the situation with little success.

“Hm, a father-son spat? What does that have to do with her?” Satan wondered aloud.

The older man whirled around with a knife in his hand. His wife ordered her son to run. He did. Hours later, at minutes to midnight, the human finally emerged, waking up after falling asleep on her textbooks. She blinked owlishly, disoriented. When the doorknob rattled and her mother walked in. In response to her confusion, her mother hugged her and explained what happened and reassured her that her brother was safe and sound at their grandma’s house. The young woman exhaled, smiled and held her mom and comforted her. For the first time, Satan could hear what she was saying.

“It’s ok Mummy. I’m ok, Mattie is safe. We will be ok,”

Her mother nodded, gave her a watery smile and turned off the kitchen lights. The human watched her mother walk upstairs before crouching down and finally letting her face crumple and hot tears race down her face, her mouth ajar in a silent scream.

Satan shook himself out of his reverie and pondered how he would go about tempting an individual to fall to a sin they feared.

                                                     ( ´･･)ﾉ(._.`)

The sizable shadow stopped moving as he heard the notification chime from his pocket. The duffel bag dangled from his fingertips as he squinted at the screen. His eyes widened slightly as he laid his eyes on the picture.

“Huh”

He tapped the microphone icon and continued on his way as he recorded the voice note. 

“I guess you could say I know her. We were closer, at least until the last year or two. But even with her appetite, she was always sharing. I guess you could say that she was half in, half out.”

That being said, it was all too easy to fall back into old habits. Compared to the rest of his brothers, his role in testing the exchange student’s soul could be easier. The crisp breeze tousled his hair as his thoughts turned to Belphegor, a now-familiar ache constricting his heart. He wondered if his twin knew the human. He missed him.

                                                        ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The purple-haired demon carefully placed his gaming headset on his desk before he pushed against the ground with the balls of his feet, sending his chair rolling backwards. 

“Jeez, why do these guys always blow up the stupid group chat whenever I have a campaign?” he griped, his fingers scrolling rapidly; orange eyes darting back and forth

“Really? All this over a human?” He rolled his eyes and turned back to his setup, not bothering to read the profile under the picture. Odds were he knew the human. He knew nearly every human, even if it was just in passing. After all, which of them could say that envy hadn’t crept upon them? If they did, they were lying. Testing the human’s soul would just be another game, and Leviathan was pretty damn good at games. 

                          (づ￣ 3￣)づSTAGE CHANGE(づ￣ 3￣)づ

“So the only two who recognized her really were Beelzebub and Leviathan?”

Lucifer nodded as he set his teacup back down. He offered his DDD to Diavolo before absentmindedly picking up a cookie. He looked around his study, somewhat aggravated about the state of his study. Every time he set time aside to get it back in order, something always seemed to come up. The height of the piles of reports and bills was alarming, and the bout of sneezing that resulted from searching the shelves was a glaring reminder that it had been a while since he had last dusted. Lucifer shut his eyes and let himself slump into the armchair. The glow of the fireplace made patterns that danced across his eyelids.

A loud guffaw from his companion caused him to open one eye.

Diavolo’s shoulders were still shaking as he showed Lucifer the screen. The Avatar of Pride stared for a few moments before sitting bolt upright and snatching the phone away, eyes wide and slack-jawed.

Two stickers were trending. One was of Diavolo in his true form, donning a beautiful -if - extravagant red ball gown. The other was of himself astride a pastel pink and purple unicorn with a rainbow horn.

His grip threatened to crack the screen as Diavolo managed to compose himself enough to speak

“That’s the best thing I’ve seen all day,” he gasped as he wiped a tear from his eye. 

“Who is responsible for this?” The words barely made it through Lucifer’s clenched jaw.

“I’m not sure, I think it may have come from the student newspaper. Our students are very creative,”

 The Prince was either oblivious or unphased by Lucifer’s displeasure.

“Is that so? Remind me to have a talk with Mephistopheles.” 

Choosing to overlook this, Diavolo planted his feet on the ground and rested his elbows on his knees.

“She didn’t have any pacts with them either? Just her own sin?” he peered at Lucifer over his steepled fingers.

The dark-haired man nodded, business-like once more. Diavolo sat back, looking quite pleased with himself.

“Well then, Overall I’d certainly say she seems to be... hm,” He crossed his arms and gazed at the rafters before looking back at Lucifer “I don’t think ‘safe’ is the word I’m looking for, necessarily, but she seems like a great candidate and a counterbalance to Solomon.”

Lucifer raised his eyebrows. “A Counterbalance?”

“I mean, Solomon isn’t exactly your typical human,”

“That’s an understatement,” Lucifer muttered. Diavolo snickered, shaking his head. 

“You know what I mean! A monarch, a sorcerer, a scholar and dozens of pacts to boot. He isn’t exactly average, is he?”

Lucifer’s lip curled as he shook his head

“I still don’t see we kept him as a candidate,” he commented. He didn’t expect a meaningful response, especially considering Diavolo was perched at the edge of his seat; his eyes alight the way they always were whenever he latched onto a new brainwave.

“I guess you could consider it an experiment within an experiment; one human with exceptional abilities and one who’s… well, with no offence meant to her… is perfectly average.” 

A thud and muffled yelling somewhere beyond the walls cut off the Devildom Prince. Lucifer groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“What have they done now?” he exhaled, exasperated.

Diavolo patted his shoulder, trying his best not to laugh at his friend’s distress.

“It’s never a dull moment here, is there?”

“Don’t remind me. Go ahead, you were explaining…”

“Oh yes. I figured it would be an excellent case study. How would the average human when compared to an angel or a demon? What help would they need and how much? If change is to happen, then we need to be on an equal footing across the realms.”

A/N Thank you for reading all the way to the end of this! This is the first writing project I have taken on since like 2012, and I’m nervous as all hecc. I would really appreciate any feedback you have to give or any questions and stuff, I won’t bite, and I’m always eager to improve. I hope this was a good read for you and I will try me best to update on a regular basis! - Jisa

Here’s the next entry!

https://tinyurl.com/mitosis-fic1-1 

And If you’d rather read it on Ao3

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26415919/chapters/64353631

[finnofamerica]

Could you do the fluff a-z for Romeo? Please and thanks!💕

ROMEO IS DARLINGGG

——-

A = affection (how affectionate are they in day to day life? Do they show affection publicly or keep that more in private?)

Romeo hiding affection??? We’d never see the day. However, is affection in public vs private is very different. In public he all hand holding and cheesy pickup lines, and at home, he’s all kisses and very very grabby. 

B = best memory (what is the best memory they have with you)

He got into a fight, and so you helped him fight the guy. After the dude was on the ground eating pavement, you turned to him with the biggest grin and asked if he was okay. 

C = cat or dog person (this is pretty obvious)

He has a duck don’t @ me. Her name is Juliet

D = dreams (what do they want to do in life?)

He just wants to live and romance you. 

E = evenings (how do they spend their evening? So they go out? Do they read?)

He likes movie nights, especially movie nights at Henry’s, bc then he gets friend time too, but it’s still really lax. 

F = first date (what was it like?)

He met you with your favorite flower and took you to a nice restaurant. He was just so sweet and funny the whole time and afterward when he dropped you off at home, he pressed a kiss to your hand as he bid you goodnight. and he totally didn’t trip down the steps pshhht no. 

G = giggle (what is their laugh like? What makes them laugh?)

Romeo is just a happy boy and tends to laugh at things that he doesn’t understand as a way of “not making it awkward” 

H = hugs (do they like hug? What kind of hugs do the give?)

Romeo loves hugs and being held and feeling you squish against him. 

I = instrument (do they play an instrument?)

surprisingly enough, he took violin lessons when he was younger, he can still play a little. 

J = joy (what brings them joy in life?)

Juliet and his flowers, and seeing you light up when he brings you your fav flower.

K = kisses (what kind of kisser are they? Shy? Passionate?)

He’s got really sweet kisses. Probably from the candy bowl at the store. He likes to take your hand in one of his hands and cup your face with the oher. 

L = love (how do they act when they have a crush)

He tried his best to flirt but it usually comes out as a stuttered jumbles mess. 

M = memory (what’s their favorite memory?)

Dancing in your kitchen to some sweet slow jazz, humming melodies as the sun streams through the window. 

N = no (what is their pet peeve?)

Messing with his arrangements. he has everything perfectly placed and if somebody messes it up he just kinda growls like a chihuahua. It’s not really intimidating but the murder in his eyes is real. 

O = occupation (what’s their dream job?)

He is a florist and I feel it in my soul. 

P = parent (what kind of parent would they be?)

Romeo is such a good one, he’d make so many stupid dad jokes and always give his kids goodnight kisses and tuck them in. 

Q = questions (do they believe in the supernatural? Aliens? Anything along those lines)

Surprisingly, no he doesn’t. he’s just not convinced. 

R = romantic (are they romantic during the relationship?)

He’s Romeo, are you kidding me? He is the epitome of storybook romance cliches. 

S = smile (what makes them smile without fail)

This is kinda terrible but he loves when customers run in going “I fucked up, help me fix it” 

T = together (how clingy are they? How long do you two spend together per day on average)

He’s kinda clingy, but you don’t mind. He’s not on your ass every minute of every day. 

U = unbearable (what habit do they have that’s unbearable? What habit do you have that they find unbearable)

He leaves the toilet seat up. 

V = videos (do they take lots of videos or photos during your relationship?)

He takes videos to send to his mom Davey. and he has pictures of you plastered all over his work station at the store. 

W = wedding (what was the wedding like?)

It was Vienna themed because he just thought it was so beautiful. Somehow he managed to convince Spot to play the accordion and none of the boys know how he did it. 

X = eXtra (what’s an interesting fact about them that they don’t tell anyone about?)

He broke his middle toe once and it never healed properly, so its bent slightly and he can’t curl it like his other toes. 

Y = yuck (what do they hate? Could be a food, sent, word anything)

Pickles. 

Z = zzzz (how heavy of a sleeper are they? How do they sleep? What mood do they wake up in? Really any sleeping headcanons)

He’s a light sleeper and he plants kisses on you without realizing it. 

--

@anon-pancake @kingofsantafe @green-tea-anon 

[carryonmylovelies]

Oh my gosh first of all, happy one year! Second of all, fic request or headcanon request? I have this mad fluffy hc that they (I mean specifically baz but honestly both of them) do this ‘it was a long day so I want human contact from the one person I don’t hate’ thing. So do you agree with this hc? And like, if you wanted to obviously, would you maybe write a fic for this idea?? Much love

OHMYGOSHBAYLEEIAMSOSORRYTHISTOOKSOLONGTOANSWER seriously though you sent me this before we really started talking back iN MAY and now we’re friends and its awesome and i really hope you like it because i love you so much belly clavicle!!!!! it took me awhile to write this tho because i actually don’t have a laptop (i caved and stole my dad’s laptop to write and post this sorry dad) but i hope i’ll have a new one soon so i can start writing again! please feel free to send me more requests just know it’ll take me a little bit, yall. shoutout to @somberlysad who encouraged me and is the entire reason this was finished and @bazypitchandsimonsnow for just always being there for me. i love you, you wonderful people! enjoy guys :D (read here on ao3)

that’s gay

Simon is fourteen minutes and thirty-three seconds into seeing how long he can hang off of the couch for without passing out when the front door bangs open. The door then closes, keys are thrown down on the kitchen counter, and light footsteps enter the living room. Simon suddenly finds himself at eye-level with a gorgeous pair of legs and expensive shoes.

“Hello Baz,” Simon wheezes, his face bright red and his smile wide.

Baz takes one look at his upside-down boyfriend, messy curls spilling onto the floor, a small timer now displaying fifteen minutes and twelve seconds, and covers his face with his hands.

Baz shakes his head sadly, but soon warm laughter pours out of his mouth and fills the room. He can’t believe he’s dating a twelve-year-old.

Baz stares at Simon with fond exasperation. Who knew he would get so lucky.

And because he can’t stand it any longer, Baz lets everything he’s holding carelessly drop to the floor, pulls Simon upright, and plops himself down on Simon’s lap, his head thudding against Simon’s broad chest in one exhausted but fluid movement.

Simon dizzily wraps his arms around Baz’s slim frame as all of the blood rushes from his head, and sweetly kisses Baz’s cheek. Or maybe it was his nose; Simon couldn’t tell because the room was still spinning.

Baz sighs softly, “Hi, Simon.”

Simon’s breath hitches; he’ll never get over the way Baz says his name, his first name, like it’s something special.  

“Hey,” Simon responds, a little breathlessly, but not enough for Baz to notice. “What’s up?”

Baz’s face falls and he groans dramatically.

“Work is terrible,” he mumbles into Simon’s jumper. “Everyone is stupid and no one listens to a bloody thing I say. I work harder than everyone else there, but do I get any credit? No, of course not.”

And to prove his point, Baz flings himself away from Simon, the back of his pale hand against his forehead, and he sighs.

“I’m so unappreciated.” He punches each word out in more sighs.

Git.

Simon drags Baz back into his lap and he doesn’t protest in the slightest.

“And to top it all off, Brittany is driving me up the bloody wall because no one should have that many fucking pictures of a chihuahua. It’s basically a rat with a bedazzled collar. I should just eat the damn thing. That would shut her up.”

Simon tries really hard not to laugh. Baz does not need to be encouraged.

“Baz, we’ve had this conversation. You really shouldn’t eat your coworkers pets. That won’t make them like you. The opposite, actually.”

He pouts, “But I don’t want them to like me! I hate them. I hate them all.”

Simon takes Baz’s cool face in his hands and kiss the top of his nose. Baz rolls his eyes, but a smile tugs at the corner of his lips.

“Oh come on, there must be someone you don’t hate–”

“Nope. I hate them all.”

Baz pushes his face back into Simon’s chest and Simon runs his fingers through his silky black hair.

“At least I’m home now, and I can be with the only person I don’t hate.”

Simon scoffs.“Wow, thanks. So glad that after being in a very happy and loving relationship with you for almost three years, you don’t hate me.”

Baz bursts out laughs at that. Simon scowls. “What are you laughing at, you prick?”

“‘Very happy and loving relationship.’” he says, mockingly. “That’s gay, Snow.”

Simon growls at him and shoves Baz off the couch so he falls to the floor.  “You’re gay!”

But before Simon can do anything else, Baz stands up and suddenly he’s back on Simon, pushing him down and straddling Simon’s hips with his stupidly long legs. Baz is dragging his hand down Simon’s chest, the other tugging at his curls, and he leans down to press a hot, open-mouthed kiss on his neck. Simon gasps and his hands immediately find their place on Baz’s waist, his fingers splayed out and gripping Baz’s hips tightly. He’s moving tortuously slow, and by the time he’s hovering above Simon’s lips, Simon is desperate for it. But instead, Baz bites Simon’s ear and whispers, “I wouldn’t do that again, if I were you.” Then Baz sits back, admiring his handiwork and smirking as Simon tries to catch his breath.

Cocky bastard. Baz is funny if he thinks Simon isn’t going to do exactly what he said he shouldn’t do.

Simon lunges forward and pushes him off of the couch again, harder this time. Baz looks up at Simon, lying on the floor, looking all hurt and dejected, and Simon can’t help but shout with laughter. He falls into the couch face-first, laughing so hard that his stomach aches.

Simon lifts his head up from the cushions in time to see Baz sulk and flip his hair behind his shoulder, those cool grey eyes and haughty eyebrows telling Simon how much he’s going to regret that.

Baz wordlessly grabs a pillow off of the floor, raises it above his head, and neatly brings it down on Simon’s arse with practically inhuman force.

Simon shrieks like a banshee and catches Baz’s pale wrist as he makes the lame attempt to run away. Simon yanks him back and he trips, falling onto Simon in a tangle of thrashing limbs.

Simon quickly grabs Baz’s flailing arms and pins them above his head. Swinging one leg over him, Simon plops himself down on on top of Baz.

He makes an ‘oof’ sound and weakly struggles against Simon’s hold. Baz soon realizes that Simon isn’t about to let up and goes limp. But then Baz grins up at Simon, like getting Simon on top of him was his only plan for the day. What a prat.

Simon leans down and bites his lip.

“Ow,” Baz whines, but it doesn’t look like he minds that much.

“That’s for destroying my arse with a fucking pillow, you vampire brat.”

Baz shrugs and smirks at Simon cheekily. “Your arse is fine; I’ve done a lot more with a lot less and you know it.”

Simon’s face heats up and he slams his lips against Baz’s, furiously kissing him as Baz’s hands slither out from where Simon had them pinned so Baz can dig his nails into his back and rake his fingers through Simon’s hair.

They make out feverently for a while before Simon pulls back, and Baz hisses at him.

Simon presses a chaste kiss to his cheek and knocks his forehead against Baz’s.

“Sorry you had such a tough day today, but I really do think it will get better. I’m sure you can find at least one person you don’t hate. And if you can’t, I’ll just start beating people up until they’re begging to be your friend.” Simon says resolutely, a burning look of determination in his eyes.

Baz laughs quietly and looks up at Simon with one of those rare, adoring looks that absolutely floors Simon every time he sees it.

“Not only do I not hate you, Simon Snow, but I also love you. A whole fucking lot. You never fail to make my day one million times better.”

Simon smirks at him. “That’s gay.”

[imagineangryspacegrump-blog]

CONGRATS on 700. That is so awesome!!! You deserve them all!!! Could I ask for Bones with dogs does he like them hate them. Did he have one as kid.

-When it comes to dogs, Bones can be on either side of the spectrum.

-As a little kid, he grew up with a sheepdog that he loved with all his heart. It was obedient, never barked unless necessary, and it loved to lay on the floor with Leonard on cold nights in front of a fire. When the dog passed, it was a very emotional time, and he never got another dog in fear of going through the death process all over again.

-Still, whenever he saw a dog back on earth, it made him smile a little.

-If he had to chose, Leonard would always go for a bigger dog. His aunt, when he was growing up, had a small chihuahua that acted like satan spawn itself. It would chase him around, nipping at his ankles, and barking in the highest pitch imaginable. The little devil made Leonard have a slight distaste for small dogs.

-Once, on a shore leave, Jim and Leonard were leaving a bar and a woman was walking by with a chihuahua in her arms. The lady was dressed in fashionable clothing, so Leonard could only imagine the small creature had been pampered most of its life.

-The small thing had the gull to growl, pounce, and bite. It took several minutes to get the small beast off Leonard's arm, and since that day, Leonard would flinch every time he saw a chihuahua.

-Sometimes, Jim would pull up a picture of one on a PADD, and thrust the picture into Bones' face. Leonard had since broken three PADD's, the Captain's nose, and kicked Jim in the crotch several times due to the automatic defensive reflex that was hardwired into his system when he saw the dog. Jim still has yet to learn his lesson.

[awkwardlyamusing-blog]

Dog Gone Problems: 18-month-old Goldendoodle doesn't respect its 14-year-old owner | Momaha.com

New Post has been published on http://doggietrainingclasses.com/dog-gone-problems-18-month-old-goldendoodle-doesnt-respect-its-14-year-old-owner-momaha-com/

Dog Gone Problems: 18-month-old Goldendoodle doesn't respect its 14-year-old owner | Momaha.com

Dog Gone Problems is a weekly advice column by David Codr, a dog behaviorist in Omaha. David answers dog behavior questions sent in by our readers. You can reach him at dogbehaviorquestions@gmail.com.

I have an 18-month-old Goldendoodle who is a very kind and loving dog. My family’s intent is for him to work as a therapy dog. The problem is I am a 14-year-old small girl who this dog doesn’t respect at all. I feel like I have tried everything. My family has hired behaviorists and trainers. I walk him 30 minutes a day — morning and night — and I train him for 10 minutes after each one of those walks. No matter what I do, he doesn’t respect me. However, he respects the rest of my family. All my dad has to do is walk in the room and he will drop whatever he has. It’s the same with my brothers, who are 11- and 16-years-old.

The next issue is that he has possession aggression. He is very fast. He grabs everything and does not let it go (at least for me). For example, he loves socks and will swallow them. Because of this he has had to get two surgeries and has had multiple visits to the vet to induce vomiting. We have buckets with lids and locks, but he can also open doors. When he gets something to chew on and I try to take it away, he growls — a lot. Then when I try to open his jaw, he bites me.

I need help. How can I make him respect me? Is it my fault or the dog’s? 

Wow. It sounds like you have quite a few issues going on. From what you wrote, it appears you are doing some good work already. Maybe we just need to add a little fine tuning. I can share a few tips.

Let’s break your letter down into individual sections so you can focus on one thing at a time.

First, respect for dogs can be confusing. Some of the factors may be related to your age and stature. Size matters to dogs. That said, one of my former apprentices has gone on to become a dog behaviorist and she is just over 5 feet tall. So it’s something you can get past.

While the walks are great, they may not be enough. Your average dog needs an hour of exercise every day, but some dogs may need even more. From what you wrote, I’d guess your dog falls into that category. This video on creative ways to exercise dogs can help you supplement your walks with some easy indoor exercise options.

I’d look for some ways to build in compliance before your dog gets what he wants in your day-to-day life. Petting with a purpose is a wonderful way to help your dog learn to respect you as a leader and help him practice asking for things instead of telling you what to do.

Do you enforce rules with your dog? Dogs often see those who enforce rules as the leader. Enforcing rules gives you an opportunity to demonstrate your leadership in small, subtle ways multiple times a day.

I’d suggest you also start developing a strong leave it command with your dog. Once established, you can pull out high-value items and leave them on the floor when you can supervise and give the dog the leave it command. The more you repeat this, the less the dog will try to take things you want them to leave alone.

Lastly, this video includes a really easy and sneaky way to condition your dog to come to you — even when you don’t call him to come over.

Remember, training and behavior are separate. While training is awesome, I’d suggest you work more on these structural changes and behavior exercises to help your dog learn that listening and respecting you cause good things to happen.

Good luck and remember — everything you do trains your dog. Only sometimes you mean it.

Close

Despite being a senior cat at 10 years old, Baby is full of energy and mischief. Here, she dangles from a bannister in her house in Gretna.

Karen Windle, copy editor

We’re Bruce and Ernie (left). We love sneaking raw bacon off the kitchen counter, lounging around the house naked, er, without our collars and making friends with deer. (The deer *love* to play tag, but for some reason we’re always “it.”) 

Katy Glover, online editor

Buster can put a smile on your face like no one else, including those of neighbors who spot him dragging me along on a walk or run. Unfortunately, this high-energy guy recently has been sidelined by the doggie version of a torn ACL and subsequent knee surgery. He could use a little boost, so I’m nominating him for the OWH Pet Parade.

Julie Anderson, news reporter

At left is Clyde. He’s a dog. He’s 2 ½. He’s deaf. At right is Pieces. He’s a cat. He’s 13. He can hear. They would like very much for you to pick them!

Brad Davis, business editor

If you’re an avid reader of the World-Herald, maybe you’ve heard of Cooper. Features reporter Chris Peters has written about raising Cooper. Here he is on the custom pallet bed his mom built for him.

Chris Peters, features reporter

At left is Daisy. Her best friend is a reindeer, who comes to visit a few weeks each year. She complains a lot to the non-magical beings she lives with, for obvious reasons. At right is Diaz. He’s a handsome  boy who doesn’t care about that. He loves walks and belly rubs, all people, most dogs, one cat, and zero racoons and opossums. 

Rich Mills, copy editor

At the Ducey Farm in Dundee, we have the blackshirt gals who guard the back yard (Mary Stewart and Victoria Holt), and the chickens who help me garden (Brooklyn and Penny). They produce eggs and inspire pillows for the cutest and most fashionable dogs in the world (Phoebe, Gigi and cousin Tyson), who love to bark at the feral cats (Bunny and Butterscotch) who live outside and have matching tails!

Marjie Ducey, reporter

Gator likes eating snackies, expertly posing for pictures, getting floof everywhere and borking (not barking) at neighbor dogs.

Cory Gilinsky, features (and Sarah Jarecki, civilian)

Gracie the border collie and Beau the red heeler like long walks and frequent car rides, especially to drive-thrus that give treats. 

Deb Shanahan, metro desk editor, and Kent Sievers, photographer

Isabel doesn’t enjoy her humans (especially the little ones) a lot, but sometimes likes a good chin scratch. Mostly she enjoys being left alone to sit on top of the piano and watch the birds outside.

Kevin Coffey, music critic

Izzy is 6 months old. She likes to chase her tail (and often catches it), climb up couches (and people), and bother Zake. Zake is 15 years old and unsure of Izzy. After all, Izzy has the high ground.

Zach Tegler, copy desk

Jameson may be named after whiskey, but this five-year-old gal is all sweetness. At first skittish after being rescued from a farm in Oklahoma, now her favorite hobby is stealing hearts — and covers.​

Laurel Foster, online

We say Juni found us after my wife was diagnosed with advanced breast cancer. This little Havaton brings our family joy, love and snuggles every day.​

Jeff Robb, news reporter/data geek

Laika is, hands down, the happiest dog at the dog park. She is named after the heroic Russian cosmonaut dog, one of the first animals in space. Ciara loves to pray. When she joins our family in prayer, she sounds like Scooby Doo. She is fiercely loyal and protective.

Susan Szalewski, copy editor and news reporter

Lolo was adopted seven years ago in Louisiana. She’s a mutt, and we think she’s part nutria, otherwise known as a swamp rat.

Hunter Paniagua, digital sports coordinator

Minerva is a very hard worker. Two-year-old “Minnie” likes to spend her time cleaning, inspecting boxes and bird watching. (And looking adorable.)

Brandon Olson, digital content hub editor

Molly, a rat-terrier Chihuahua from NHS, loved everyone she met. She was an excellent high jumper and cuddler and gave us joy for 17 years. She died in April.

Betsie Freeman, features reporter

Nellie is a 10-year-old tabby cat who is more like 5 years old at heart. She enjoys sleeping in fresh, warm laundry, eating, chasing lasers and listening to stories with best friend, 4-year-old Sam.​

Ashlee Coffey, Momaha.com editor

This is Oliver. He has three legs and a bullet permanently lodged in him. (We didn’t put it there). He pretends like he’s surly and tough but deep down he’s very snuggly.

Roseann Moring, political reporter

Eighteen-year-old cat

Loves tuna, SBH and

A fireside nap

Sarah Baker Hansen, features, and Matthew Hansen, columnist

I’m Sasha. I was a stray in Oklahoma (where my ear was somehow torn) before a shelter rescued me & treated my heartworm. I just tested negative for heartworm, yay! I really like to play dead & get belly rubs!

Alia Conley, news reporter

Slugger, owned by the original Pet Parade Petitor in Chief and saved by Big Red Rescue in Omaha, chases his tail faster to his right than to his left. He ate a hole in the blinds to watch his owner come and go.

Steven Elonich, online editor

Toby is a 4-year-old Rhodesian Ridgeback mix with a big personality. Given the protective tendencies of his breed, he’s very serious about watching over his property — and his owners. Until he isn’t.

Dave Elsesser, features editor, and RyAnne Elsesser

Toothpick loves biting bare legs, gazing longingly at birds outside and dipping his paw into bags of Spicy Nacho Doritos so he can lick off the Doritos dust (which his owners know is gross and bad but are powerless to stop). ​

Erin Duffy, news reporter

Boston Terriers, Willow, 8, and Dexter, 6, have a closet full of costumes, sweaters, scarves and even some pajamas. They only sit this nicely for photos because there are LOTS of treats involved – but really – they are crazy little puppies!

Tammy Yttri, copy desk chief

Nine years ago, we found Zed roaming the earth (it was a ruff life). He’s a good boy. He likes his toy lobster, pepperonis (which we call pupperonis) and keeping up with his fans at Zedwin.org. 

Graham Archer, digital editor

Hi, my name is Zeus, I an eight-year-old American Eskimo looking to get back in the game. They say I am fixed, but I think my only problem is you aren’t in my life. I love long walks and treats. I want someone to chase squirrels with.  Won’t you paw right?

Chris Machian, photographer

‘); }

Source link Dog Training Tips