#its one thing to hate the musical but its another to joking threaten the actors life

[sofuckingtiredjuice]

ok because its literally impossible to block and move on from all of b*bes, im making a fucking rant blog

its so frustrating to ssee the hypocrisy

antis if youre sending fucking death threats, PLEASE STOP NOW OH MY GOD i shouldn’t even have to explain why this is a problem. if you dont like their content, stop giving them attention. youll only see more of this drama if you pay attention to it. also pls stop badgering people to tell you about a certain neutral in the fandom oh my god pls. they dont create content for the people you dont like its obvious they just want to be friends with everyone so just ignore them if it upsets you. there are plenty of other content creators that DO agree with your ideals and your shipping preferences. please seek them out. seriously. and please dont flood their tag. it will just make them more angry.

beetleb*bes, you cannot deny there is hypocrisy within your own group as there is within mine. im not in a lot of circle of antis, but i do my fucking best to try and stop anyone from doing something provocative if i can. i know its only a handful of this group that is spiteful and angry. if you’re as calm and harmless as you claim, fucking do something about it PLEASE. instead you have a small group with a ringleader who is slandering your name. for example making a receipts blog that documented a harassing anons to a babe with a response from said targeted babe with a slur (i know they didn’t know the origin of the slur and have since learned the racist, ableist history it has) and only calling out the anon BUT THEN have the audacity to post an anon harassing a different babe using the same slur and having their buddy call out how horrible it was when they couldnt even call it out in the first place with one of their own. or for example drawing a cartoon beetlejuice about to “mercy kill” what seems to be musical beetlejuice BUT IS INSTEAD the actor who plays him, but THAT doesnt end up on the receipts blog. instead said blog has posted “poop ur pants” as a death threat/insult. pls tell me how that adds up

and both sides are guilty of this unfortunately. stop provoking each other. stop making art and text posts that will make the other mad. PLEASE. there are a lot of good creators on this tag and fandom that are going to leave because of this constant back and forth, me included. please stop dunking on different iterations of this character. whether we like it or not, they are all canonical versions of this character. 

im just ranting at this point because i want to let out my frustrations and soemtimes screaming into a void feels better and i doubt my words will reach anyone, but i hope it does make sense

EDIT: censored the group name because i forgot to the second time

[siempre-pedro]

Put Your Head On My Shoulder

Pedro Pascal x Reader 

Summary: Everything is blissful when Pedro asks you to be his dance partner for a dance lesson he has to take for a new role, until you catch a contagious illness and have to cancel. Pedro finds a way to still dance with you and confess his feelings. 

Word Count: 2.2k

A/N: I’m obsessed with those songs but in another room videos/audio! I wrote this inspired by Paul Anka’s song...but in another room. I recommend listening to it while you read. 

Requests are OPEN

A gentle knock of your apartment door interrupted your glamorous dinner one Monday night. You folded the corner of your magazine and took one final bite of your Lucky Charms before getting up to answer it “Coming,” you shout, your mouth sill full of cereal.

Once you open the door, you swallow your food as fast as you can, not wanting to embarrass yourself in front of your hot neighbor. You’d known Pedro for years, he had moved in next to you and sent over a plate of baked goods and a note apologizing in advance for any noise. Both of you were smitten since that day. “Did I interrupt you again?” Pedro asks, grimacing at his awful timing.

“Nah I only got to the who wore it best section this time,” you chuckle, leaning on the cold door frame and tugging your knit sweater up on your shoulder. Pedro ran his fingers through his messy brown hair and then cooly put it in his front pocket “What do you need?”

“A favor,” he responds simply, “when was the last time you danced?” You squint your Y/E/C colored eyes and your lips pucker in thought.

“Senior prom. Why?”

“I signed on to do a project, and I have to learn how to waltz,” he explains, a pink tint rising to his tanned skin. You smile softly and cross your arms over your chest, motioning him to continue. “I found a class on Friday in Midtown, will you please be my partner?”

“Why me?” you ask, trying to hide a giddy smile that was threatening to make an appearance. The man of your dreams was inviting you out and all you do was stand there and look like an idiot! He looked so nervous and precious, standing there fidgeting on his spot.

“You know I have two left feet, I trust you not to laugh at me too much,” he laughs. That was fair, he did, hen he invited you to a friends wedding you got to experience that first hand. “Please, Y/N. I need you,” he begs looks at you with pleading eyes.

“Fine, fine, fine,” you agree “Friday.”

He sighs in relief and pulls his hands from his pockets “You are my savior, Y/N. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I’ll see pick you up at 5 and we’ll take the Subway, yeah?” He plans excitedly, almost bouncing. You bit back a girly laugh and did your best to keep your calm composure.

“I’ll see you then.”

Except you wouldn’t. Tuesday and come and gone and when Wednesday came you woke up with the worst headache of your life. Your neck was so stiff it felt like you were tied to a board, and after some back and forth with yourself, you made an appointment and thankfully, they were able to see you right away. Pedro was texting you nonstop for updates and made silly jokes to calm you. Some made you giggle and others made you groan from second-hand embarrassment.

Those jokes didn’t help when your doctor stood in front of you, his clipboard under his arm, and his eyes looking stern down at you. The older looking man takes a deep breath before giving you the diagnosis “Its meningitis,” he tells you bluntly.

You blink a couple of times, cocking your head as far as it could go without it hurting…which wasn’t that far at all “Meningitis?” you repeat confused, you’d never heard of that before.

The doctor leans against the old counter and uses his free hand to press against the back of his neck “You have an infection that’s causing swelling of the membrane covering your brain and spinal cord, ” he begins to explain, and this is where your daydreams came to a rough stop “It’s highly contagious and often deadly, seizures, brain damage, hearing loss.”

Your eyes widened at the amount of emphasis he used in ‘highly’ “Oh,” was all you could say. Fuck now you were afraid you were going to die! You couldn’t tell Pedro you liked him if you were dead. “H-how bad is my case?” you ask meekly, your eyebrows turning upwards in worry.

“Thankfully we caught it early and the infection is only bacterial, I’ll be giving you the best antibiotics I can and you should come out of this with no side effects,” he tells you, taking his clipboard from his arm to start writing down a prescription. Here comes another kicker “You need to be quarantined for at least a week, no face to face interaction with other people.”

“I have a date Friday,” you say without thinking about what you just blurted out. The doctor looks up from his clipboard and gave you a look that said ‘are you serious?’

“Do you want them to get infected?”

“No.”

He laughs “Then stay home and rest. I’ll supply you with a few masks to get home, then no going out. You go to the pharmacy and go home. Got it?”

You smile at him “I do. Thank you, Doc.”

Telling Pedro you couldn’t go dancing with him may have been the hardest thing you’d ever have to do. You imagined it was going to crush him as bad as it did you. You lean back in your seat on the train, passengers saw your blue medical mask and creating a bubble around you, at least you were alone-ish. Sliding your phone out of your pocket you begin to text him ‘I’m on my way back.’

He replies almost instantly ‘How’d it go? Are you ok?’

‘I have meningitis. A brain infection basically.’

‘Jesus Christ. Are you going to live???’

‘lol yeah. I have to be quarantined for at least a week. I’m HIGHLY contagious. I can’t go with you Friday, I’m so sorry Pedro.’

Pedro’s quick responses ceased. You were constantly checking your phone every few seconds to see if he texted back. You watched your screen intensely, no pop-up messages were appearing, and when it did it was just an Instagram notification that gave you false hope. It took the actor 7 minutes to finally respond.

‘Fuck. Please don’t worry Y/N, I just really want you to get better! I’ll go to that bodega down the street and get you a few things so you don’t starve and stuff.’

Fuck this guy for taking care of you, fuck him for being sweet and nice and everything you wanted him to be. Too bad you were breaking both your hearts, you think. No Pedro was fine you assumed, just helping out a friend.

When you got back to your apartment you found two grey plastic grocery bags filled with Gatorade, semi-healthy snacks, and Tylenol you assumed. On the bag was a neon yellow sticky note ‘I hope I got you everything you needed. I’ll see you in a few days : ) – Pedro’ it read. You smiled softly to yourself and picked up the bags, ready for the lonely week ahead.

Thursday you were in the worst pain of your life, it was like that scene if Ferris Beuller’s Day Off when Cameron was in bed telling Ferris that he was dying, unable to move. That was you, 80s music and all as you laid hopelessly in your bed, surrounded by clear bottles of Gatorade and snacks that Pedro provided. Pedro himself was only adding to your pain, his constant texts asking how you were and trying to make you feel somewhat better was backfiring, you still felt terrible about the dance class. In the evening Pedro would knock on your door, leaving your mail in front of the doorstep.  Too bad you couldn’t move to get it.

Friday you were able to accomplish getting out of bed and slowly moving around your apartment. You were leaning on your kitchen counter, chicken noodle soup near boil in a silver pot in front of you. You checked the clock on your microwave ‘4:58’ it read in glowing blue letters, Pedro would be leaving at any moment. That is if he was really going of course.

He was, the door to his apartment closed loudly and a light giggle rang through the walls. You stood stiff, that was a female voice. You rushed to grab a medical mask in the living room, tugging on your gray oversized sweater and a good excuse in your mind.

Your door opened in a rush and you stood in the hallway, the speed of everything got Pedro and the woman’s attention. God she was beautiful, tall and bronzed with silky long black hair, if they needed a new Miss Universe it would’ve been her. She was your foil, you were there in sweatpants and your hair greasy hair pulled up into a high bun, a blue medical mask covering your frown but they couldn’t conceal your dark bags. “Y/n,” Pedro speaks cautiously like a man in a relationship getting caught with another woman. The tall skyscraper of a woman scans you up and down disapprovingly and you didn’t miss her taking a step back when you coughed. “This is Katerina. Kat this is Y/n.”

“Hi,” she sighs, and you simply wave at her before crossing your arms over your chest defensively. Katerina, you hated the way he said her name with that accent of his. Your heart was shattered, would rather dance with her. Your mind quickly flashed to him leaning in to kiss her while they danced, their bodies pressed together.

“What are you doing outside?” he asks you with concern.

You bit your quivering lower lip and replied in a faltering tone “I just came to get my mail.”

Pedro’s dark brown eyes look at you sympathetically “Do you need it right now?”

The tears started to form in your eyes, she probably thought you were ridden with disease “N-no.”

“Please go rest, I promise to bring it to you tonight,” he pleads.

“Pedro we need to go, the Uber’s out front,” Katerina interjects.

You didn’t say anything as he offers a guilty smile before walking off with her. Once their figures disappear down the hall you take in a sharp breath, tears falling down your cheeks. Why did you have to get sick? Why did it have to be contagious? Why did he choose her? You were so angry and jealous and it going to the window in your bedroom to watch him help her into the Uber fueled the angry green fire in your soul.

Later that night you sat on your couch brooding, that night’s rerun of Entertainment Tonight providing background noise as you angrily flipped through Vogue. Pedro would be back any moment, and you were just waiting to hear Katerina’s obnoxious giggles. Soon enough Pedro’s front door opened and shut, no exchanges of words or laughter could be heard. Maybe he did come home alone and you were worrying for nothing.

Music started to play from the apartment next to you, the 50s song you recognized from your father's collection and that one all the kids were into these days. Why was he playing it this loud? You could hear Paul Anka’s voice over Kevin Frasiers on the tv, the bass gently thumping the wall behind you.

Your phone started to ring, Pedro’s name and goofy face popped up “Pedro you’re going to have to pay another fine if you keep it this loud,” you say playfully as you answer it.

“How are you feeling?” He asks lowly.

“Better.”

“Good, stand up,” he instructs.

“W-why?”

“Do his for me Y/N, please,” he sighs.

You shrug and oblige, putting your magazine to the side and standing up in the middle of your apartment “Now what?” you inquire.

“Can you hear the music?”

“How can I not… I’m sorry, yes, yes I can,” you laugh.

“Good, now close your eyes and imagine I’m with you…we’re dancing,” he tells you and you do what he says. You smile and start slowly swaying to the song “I really wish you were with me tonight.”

“You didn’t like what’s her name as a partner?”

Pedro chuckles and closes his eyes “No she was fine. I just wish it was you… my first choice.”

“First choice?” you question.

“You’re always my first choice, Y/N.”

‘put your head on my shoulder’ you cock your head to the side and imagine your putting your head in the crook of his neck, the smell of his cologne bringing a sense of comfort. “I didn’t mean to get sick,” you confess.

“I know, I know… I’m not upset at you or anything. I just had bigger plans for this evening,” he admits, a pink tint rising to his cheeks.

“Which are?” you hum.

“I wanted to tell you that I liked you. More than a friend.” Your eyes open and you snap out of the fantasy, your heart ready to burst from your chest.

“Pedro,” you breathed, wishing he could see the blissful smile. “I’ve liked you since you moved in.”

There’s a silence on both ends, the romantic song filling the void but soon he speaks “Once your better you’ll dance with me?” he wonders.

“I promise,” you say, and the fatigue sets in, “I-I’m getting tired, I did too much today”

Pedro hums in contentment “Go to sleep, I’ll bring your mail and slide it under the door. Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Goodnight Pedro,” you whisper. As you hang up the song ends, your eyes look at the wall that divided your apartments and smiled all the way to your bed.

[xmxisxforxmaybe]

Okay

Summary: Rami needs his brother to make him feel okay after the intensity of filming Mr. Robot, Episode 407.

A/N: Well, this is a bit of a grey area for me because Sami isn’t a celeb; however, the muse bit and she would NOT let go. Also, if you haven’t read @bohemian-napsodyy​‘s HC about the Reader x Rami on set during Ep 407, do it. Their Anon beat my own muse by a few hours 😉 

Warning: Spoiler-ish for Mr. Robot, Episode 407

When Sami stepped off the plane, he grimaced.

The air inside LaGuardia was stifling, almost putrid compared to the air of his west coast home. Sami hated coming to New York City in the summer, but when Rami had called and asked him to hang out for a few days on the Robot set, there was something in his twin’s voice that Sami couldn’t ignore.

“I’m supposed to come in July, Ram. School just let out. I’m exhausted. Are you sure it can’t wait?”

“Uh, well, uh, I don’t know. I guess so,” Rami had stammered.

Sami knew there was something his brother wasn’t telling him, but why he wasn’t telling him was what concerned him.

“Just tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Rami said immediately, and Sami knew that the vulnerability Rami had just let slip was being hurriedly caged away. He could practically hear the door slamming shut as Rami changed both the subject of conversation and the tone of his voice. Sami knew his brother better than he knew his own self.  

And that was the thing with being an identical twin; they were quite literally your other half, and even though at times Sami wanted nothing more than to knock his brother senseless, he loved him with a depth that few could ever understand.

When they had hung up, Sami was still uncommitted to visiting the Robot set early, but an unease settled in the pit of his stomach and didn’t let go until he texted his brother later that night to say he’d catch the first flight out in the morning.

Rami’s reply was short, a simple “OK,” but Sami could feel his brother’s relief and knew it was mirrored in the way his own body had relaxed when he finally sent the text. It didn’t matter that they were literally on opposite ends of the country, 2,800 miles apart; Sami always knew exactly what Rami was feeling.

Despite having worn sunglasses, a hat, and earbuds, Sami was approached three times as he navigated his way through the crowded airport, remembering another reason why he hated New York City. In LA, people just didn’t approach celebrities like they did on the east coast, and they especially did not give a shit about the brother of a celebrity.

The first person to approach was someone who recognized him as “the other one” once they got close enough, and then comically turned on their heel and tried to walk away as if they hadn’t just made a beeline for the wrong twin.

Next, it was by someone who knew exactly who he was and asked for a picture anyway.

And finally, it was by someone who, despite his protests, insisted that Sami was Rami, clearly preparing for a new role. Sami shook his head and smiled for the camera, thinking Rami’s people would have fun with that one if it picked up any traction online.

The taxi ride to Rami’s apartment in Soho was too long, but Sami caught up on his texts, first making sure to tell his mom he had a safe flight.

Sami paid for his taxi and made his way into the building that housed Rami and a few of the other cast members, including Carly. Sami liked Carly and hoped to run into her even though his visit was going to be a short one. She never failed to tell some sort of embarrassing story about Rami, which Sami mentally tucked away for the times when Rami would get his head stuck too far up his own ass.

Rami was still on set, so when he knocked, the door to the apartment was opened by one of his brother’s assistants. It was still strange to think about the level of fame his brother had achieved. Rami had always done too much, had always been totally in control of his career, but that way of life was now forgotten, rather it had to be forgotten because way too many people wanted a piece of him now.

Sami honestly didn’t know how his more introverted brother handled it—the press, the fans, the relationships he had to build and maintain, and then the work itself. Being a teacher was hard, thankless, and often emotionally draining. But at the end of the day, Sami got to stop, got to be himself free from most societal expectations and got to hide himself away able to function in unnoticeable ways, unlike Rami.

And it bothered Sami to know that his twin was struggling to adjust to his new life, too. He felt even more guilty for hesitating to come for a visit when it had been so long since he’d even seen Rami.

Sami had seen more of Rami inadvertently than intentionally since winter. He’d walk by magazines in the grocery store or pop online and see images of his brother, exhausted and unhappy.

“Rami has a bit of a long shoot in Central Park today, but he should be home around 7. I know he’s going to be glad you’re here,” this woman Sami barely knew said.

Fuck. A stranger knows more than I do, Sami thought as he gave her a smile. He didn’t miss the way she looked at him—the same way most people who knew his brother first did. They see the resemblance and wonder just how alike the twins are.

As Sami settled in and walked through his brother’s somewhat sparse, definitely lonely apartment, he worked to stifle his guilt. It wasn’t like he could just take a few days off and follow his brother around the world. When a teacher took a day off, it was usually more work than it was worth.

Sami flipped through Rami’s mail before opening the fridge and finding next to nothing inside. He rolled his eyes, and despite his distaste for New York, Sami was glad he came. Clearly, his brother needed him, even if he wasn’t able to say those words.

* * * * *

Sami had visited the Robot set quite a few times over the years, but he had never been to set on a day like this. The entire atmosphere was tense; it felt like something dirty had slid under his skin and stuck there, and after awhile it began to pulsate until its presence couldn’t be ignored.

Rami had explained that this was it; today’s shoot was the culmination of all of Elliot’s suffering, and Sami could clearly see just how invested everyone who worked on the show was.

When Rami emerged from his dressing room, no longer his familiar twin, but as Elliot Alderson, Sami gave him a small smile which Rami returned before he wiped his features clean again, fully Elliot in an instant.  

From his perch behind one of the cameras, the assistant director was watching the screen with their eyes glued to it. Sami had the luxury of looking between the screen and the set, and the luxury of letting his mind wonder. It was so strange to hear the scene delivered with the scuffle and echo of noises that would be removed during post-production. And even eerier to watch without the carefully scored background music.

Sam said, “Cut,” for the umteenth time that day, which gave Sami time to stretch, moving around to observe the other actors.

Rami had kept himself isolated today, talking only to Sam between takes. There was no joviality. Normally, Rami would be watching the playback or offering a critique, and on easier days, playing a joke on someone, or laughing about some awkward quirk of his that belonged to him and not to Elliot that he needed to erase for the next take.

Sami watched as the makeup crew rushed in to touch up the character of Vera, making his brow even more sweaty than before.

Sami found this amusing because the same effect could be produced for next to nothing by simply opening a window and having the actor stick his head into the New York humidity for two minutes.

Hollywood was weird.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his twin begin to bounce back and forth, heel to tow, before he broke out into his signature jog in place.

Rami settled in and sat down on the sofa across from Elliot’s captured therapist.  

This was it.

Sami watched with wide eyes, not even realizing he was holding his breath as Krista peppered Elliot with questions—the questions that were leading him to his monster.  

As Elliot began to remember, Sami forgot he was watching his brother, his mirror since birth, and felt himself completely lost in Elliot’s revelation, and Sami even stuffed his fist into his mouth to tamper down the groan of horror that threatened to disturb the entire scene.

Sami felt like he had experienced something transcendent, and instead of calling cut, Sam just walked up to his Elliot and put his hands on his shoulders; it took a few moments, but then Rami melted into his director and rested his forehead on Sam’s shoulder as he talked softly to him.

Sami swiped at the tears he hadn’t even realized had fallen, unable to take his eyes off his brother, wanting nothing more than to comfort him and bring him back to just being Rami.

But there was another take. And another.

“I can do it better. I can do it better,” Rami repeated, pouring drops into his eyes to clear the redness from crying to restart the scene.  

By the fifth take, Sami was uncomfortable. His brother was pushing himself too hard, taking longer and longer to collect himself between takes.

Sam was behind the camera, his face serious, and he had his assistant get Sami.

“We’ve got the take, but he wants to do it again. He won’t listen to me.”

Sami glanced at the screen and watched the tears fill his brother’s eyes and knew that Rami had nailed it on that very first take. But he also knew that his brother had been carrying around the character of Elliot for years—he owed everything in his life to Elliot because if it wasn’t for this show, Rami would still be the weird kid who was in The Pacific and the funky little pharaoh who was in Night at the Museum, recognizable, yet still struggling for success.    

Rami came out of the dressing room, once again looking like he hadn’t just performed the most gut-wrenching scene television had ever seen.

“I’m ready,” he said in a voice that said the exact opposite.

Sam said, “We’ve got it Rami. No more.”

“I can do it better.”

“Rami, it’s done. You’re done,” Sami said stepping toward his brother, grasping his shoulders and forcing him to look at him, really look at him.

Rami turned his eyes on his twin and blinked slowly.

“Done?”

“Done, Rami. You fucking nailed it.”

Rami took a shuddering breath and swayed on his feet. His eyes filled with tears so quickly it took Sami and Sam both by surprise.

Sam reached over and grasped Rami’s shoulder.

“You’ve done Elliot justice. We can see every thought. Feel every feeling. It’s brilliant—you were brilliant.”

Rami swallowed and gave Sam a heartfelt nod before Sami walked his brother back into the dressing room.

As soon as the door shut, Rami broke.

Sami was there to catch him, to hold onto him as he purged the emotions he had built up during Elliot’s revelation.

Neither of the twins moved for a long time, stuck together like they had been their whole lives, drawing comfort from the other’s warm presence.

Sami finally spoke in his mirror voice that was just a bit higher than Rami’s.

“You realize once this airs you can tell everyone who said you won an Oscar for lip syncing and wearing fake teeth to eat a dick?”

Sami felt his brother suck in a laugh, his shoulders shaking slightly under his hands.

Rami pulled away to look into Sami’s eyes, mirror eyes of the same undefinable hue as his own, eyes that never looked at him as some sort of other, a celebrity, an actor, a movie star. Sami only ever looked at him as Rami.

“Thanks for being here.”

Sami sighed, a soft smile on his lips as he pulled his scrawny brother in for one last tight hug, the unspoken you’re welcome settling over Rami, letting him know he was going to be okay.  

[oliverpdaniel]

Let’s talk about casual homophobia.

I wanted to share a transcript of a TikTok video by a minor celebrity (I won't do them the honour of identifying them, but suffice it to say that this individual thrives mostly on controversy and poor publicity), to demonstrate what day-to-day homophobic language looks like. Many of these questions have been asked to me, or tell of real things that I've experienced, due to a generally callous view of queer folks. The quoted parts are the actual video, the unquoted responses mine.

Note in advance that some of these questions are clearly oriented towards gay men, but I am responding from the perspective of a bisexual man. Anyway...

"Okay, these are my questions for the gays – sorry, I was on Straight TikTok for a minute; what?"

Or, as you might like to call it, TikTok. For those unfamiliar, "Gay TikTok" is a small subset of the TikTok community that makes videos primarily revolving around in-jokes and shared experiences of the queer community. Thus, "Straight TikTok" is only extant in contrast, a joking reference to certain, overwhelmingly heteronormative parts of the TikTok community. While I'm not a big fan of the idea of 'ownership' or deciding who's allowed to say what, this (obnoxiously straight, in every sense of the word 'obnoxious') celebrity is trying somewhat unceremoniously to insert themselves into a narrative not their own here. Not off to a great start.

(1) "Would you care if your partner was bisexual?"

Whelp, this is one I can't really answer, can I? But, this still does lean into the old "gold-star" ideology of homosexuality, which makes it off-putting from the jump. For those unfamiliar, a "gold star" gay/lesbian is one who has never had sex with the opposite gender. This is a completely silly distinction, that fails to take into account personal circumstances, as well as – y'know – the fluid nature of human sexuality. TL;DR, even if you're exclusively into one gender, you shouldn't care about your partner's sexual orientation (other than, y'know, making sure it includes your gender) because, leaving aside the absolutely rad underworld of polyamory, they're only going to be into you while they're with you.

(2) "Have you ever been with someone of the opposite gender?"

Ah, more gold-starring! A great way to start. "You're trans? What's your deadname?"

(3) "Do you take offence when a girl calls you her Gay Best Friend?"

The Gay Best Friend is an expendable, non-threatening fount of femininity in masculine form, someone to go clothes-shopping with and who will give you sassy advice on boys. God forbid, however, that the Gay Best Friend try to be vulnerable with you about the difficulties of LGBTQIA+ life; they're only there for sashaying and making out with at parties, right? The Gay Best Friend is an incredibly harmful notion to men on both sides of the sexuality spectrum. Gay (and ESPECIALLY bi/pan/poly) men already know to fear the label, because of the dismissive treatment and expectation of performative homosexuality that comes along with it. Straight men should fight against it, too, because it's a symptom of the present hegemony of heterosexual relationships, which revolves around sexual transactionalism and a healthy dose of gender-role-fuelled intimidation[1]. (If you've never heard any of those words, you're probably the target audience here.)

(4) "Be honest – how many times has a straight person tried to hook you up with a gay person based solely on the fact that they're gay and no other compatibility requirements?" (with a devilish smile, into full blown "oh guuuuuurl" laughter)

This is a real thing that happens to people, myself included, all too frequently. It tells us that when you look at me, you don't think "Oliver", you think "Gay", and next time you meet another gay guy, that's the word ringing through your head. It's not funny. It's hurtful. If you're going to recommend a partner to me, make sure you actually have faith in a connection forming. As someone who ended up in an abusive relationship as a result of overzealous matchmaking, it's not something to be taken lightly; relationships, especially gay relationships and all the societal friction they inevitably entail, are not here for your endearment.

(5) "Are you down to hook up with someone who's 'just curious'?"

MORE gold-starring! God, could you imagine the uproar if a lesbian approached a straight person and said that they "missed dick" and/or wanted to experiment!? Oh, wait, that's already common in straight porn to the point of cliché. Gag; and not the good kind of gag.

(6) "Do you proudly wear the rainbow flag, or are you kinda against it because it kinda segregates?"

...what? When I first found this video, it was being duetted (TikTok's side-by-side video response) by a queer person, and at this point they took the opportunity to say, "I don't like you." I echo the sentiment.

(7) "Are you a 'yaaaaaas kweeeeen' gay or are you, like, 'fuck that shit what the fuck?'"

WE ARE NOT HERE TO PERFORM QUEERNESS FOR YOU. Leaving aside the sociolinguistic aspects of queer language and its intersection with (read: theft from) African-American Vernacular English, if people want to act flamboyantly gay, THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. If people want to act "normal" (read: heteronormatively!!!), that's NONE OF YOUR GOD DAMN BUSINESS. Queer people are fucking people, they act differently in different scenarios, and it's not for you to fetishize or to find "too much sometimes". When you accept a queer person into your life, you're accepting every facet of them into your life, for them to live and love unapologetically – not just the parts you find entertaining.

(8) "This might be a dealbreaker for me: do you like musical theatre?"

Yes. But even if I didn't – if I liked drinking beer and watching Nascar (sorry dad), but wish I had a boyfriend to do that with, guess what? That's my own fucking business. And, again, if your idea of a "dealbreaker" when engaging with a gay person is whether or not they like musical theatre – probably one of the most tired stereotypes about gay folks – and not, I dunno, if they're fun to be around and respect your boundaries and opinions, then maybe you're not looking for a gay friend for the right reason.

(9) "Be honest – do you still go through the Chick-Fil-A drivethrough and get that spicy chicken sandwich or those nuggies?" (big, face-scrunching smile.)

This is the one that REALLY got me. This displays just how tone-deaf this person is and how deeply they've objectified the concept of homosexuality for themselves. Chick-Fil-A is a massively homophobic organization from the top down, and they donate millions to organizations that want to bring into question my very right to exist, morally and legally.

As a straight person not affected by these issues, it's easy to say "well, I know I /shouldn't/ go to Chick-Fil-A because of the 'gay stuff', but oh IT'S SOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOD!". It's easy to momentarily forget one's morality because hey, it's not like you're directly hurting anyone, right? But, as a queer person who has to walk by the brand-new Chick-Fil-A at Yonge and Bloor every day on my walk to class, seeing the lines wrapping around the block lets me take direct measure of who, and how many, are willing to forget about me for just long enough to enjoy a fucking chicken sandwich. Go literally anywhere else. Eating at Chick-Fil-A is a choice, and it's a choice that informs me that you care less about my right to live than your own personal enjoyment.

(10) "Do you get upset when they have straight actors portray gay characters?"

This is a whole other debate, so I'm not going to get into the actual subject matter of this question. But hey – maybe, in an industry literally overrun with queer people, maybe we can stop converting a significant and pernicious problem in entertainment into a cutesy debate topic? Something really tells me that this person isn't going to start whipping out the intersectional feminist literature to explain their argument here. In all likelihood, it'll sound more along the lines of "but Eddie Redmayne looked so GOOD in that dress!"

(11) "And what's the GAYEST thing about you?'

Nope. Shut up and choke. I hate you.

Never tell me for a second that homophobia is "over" in Canada/the West/wherever. Never tell me that it's a distant issue, remaining only in far-off religious backwaters. This is what it can look like. Fetishization; dismissal; turning struggles for human dignity into pseudo-intellectual debates.

I'm not here to be your Gay Best Friend.

I'm not here to date your new gay acquaintance.

I'm not here to repeatedly explain to you my need to have rights.

I'm here for the same reasons you are.

I want to live and love, not to be treated like a toy.

Footnotes

[1] Okay, I'm obviously not saying that all straight relationships are built around sexual transactionalism and intimidation, nor am I saying that non-comphet relationships are not. But, in my experience as a reformed Gay Best Friend who has had to provide counsel to cishet friends over some INFURIATINGLY stupid relationship/courting issues, I would argue that a full ninety percent of them could be resolved if the experiencer simply viewed their partner/interlocutor/'tyng' as another human being, rather than being from the mysterious species that is The Opposite Gender.

[whenimgoodandready]

If there’s one thing in this world that people in the Arts department (ex.artists, musicians, designers, actors and writers) hate the most, that really grinds their gears and has them scream at the skies and sends all those who dwell in Gods green Earth into the fiery depths of 🔥👿Hell👿🔥its PLAGARISM! Nothing pisses off an artist more than when some talentless f**ker steals their precious creation and claims it as their own! Who do they think they are!? Huh!? Can’t they come up with their own sh*t to do!? They don’t know the hours and time we spent, the redos we had to start over from, the people we forced ourselves to ignore to work or even the fury that’s gonna befall upon them on their filthy doomed heads! AHHHHHHHHHH! They.will.PAY! (angrily pants)........................you think I’m pissed! HA! Get a load of how pissed this one artist felt! And shut it!

*Silencer-(composes themselves and smiles) Moving on! So there’s this contest out by Bob Roth, Jagged Stones producer, who’s looking for “the next best thing” and Kitty Section sends in their song and music video to it. For those of you who forgot, Kitty Section is the name of that rock band we heard Marinettes friends play and call themselves (“Captain Hardrock”) which consists of Ivan, Rose, Juleka and her older brother, Luka! Glad we’re getting some more continuity with that cuz nothing’s more important in a show then remembering what you created in it and having it referenced to let others know it’ll be important later. Luka writes the song, Rose sings it and Marinette designs the outfits for it.

When they don’t hear the results for the winners they find out that XY, that bratty teenybopper DJ pop star who tries to be cool and is Jagged’s rival, has stolen their song and look and it wins the crowd claiming it as his own! That little sh*t! Turns out, the whole thing was a big scam for XY to rip off their music! XY got no talent whatsoever and his whole “fame and fortune” is based off copying others work and plagiarizing it! (guy even rips off his own work! How sad). And get this, Bob Roth is his father! WHAT!? When did they point this out in the show!? Cuz I’m just hearing about it for the first time! Like (a**hole) Father, Like (a**hole) Son.

Marinette and Kitty Section go to confront XY and Bob at the television studio, but when Marinette and Luka manage to sneak in (during a fake akuma attack from their friends) they say it was their song that he stole, but Bob and XY deny it and say they were “inspired” (inspired my a**!). When Marinette goes to confess the truth on live tv (being that she’s all about that justice), Bob stops her and threatens to make sure she’ll never design again as he’s got connections from the mayor and she’s just a nobody and that pisses off Luka. Luka was pissed! F**king calm cool and collected Luka, was pissed! Damn! When Hawk Moth senses that, he sends out an akuma and Luka becomes Silencer! A mute voice stealing supervillain who’s out for revenge on Bob Roth!

Now this villain makes sense! XY stole his song, so Silencer steals his voice! Karma! The way Silencer does it is pretty fun actually. He first shushes the victim, their voice comes out like “a tiny color coded jellyfish?” (is that how they portray our voices in this show?) And then he retrieves it by making a “I can’t hear you” gesture that goes into his helmet ear leaving the victim a mute! Silencer then uses their stolen voice as his own in a “talking too much nonsense” hand gesture since his helmet covers his mouth. Lol! The outfit however looked too Tron like for me again and it didn’t look like how Marinette designed it and he could’ve looked like a dark unicorn which would’ve been more suited to his band, but I’m a writer, not a designer. Bob uses Marinette as a human shield (the coward) against Silencer, but he spares her cuz he’s listed now as the #2 supervillain who likes Marinette. He even tells her how much she means to mean. Awwwwww (shakes head and mutters under breathe) No! No! No! Adrienette! Adrienette! You ship Adrienette! Oh well, it was probably just the akuma talking.

Silencer then steals Ladybugs voice (well he said he wouldn’t hurt Marinette, but he didn’t say anything about Ladybug! Badum-tish🥁). Now she’s left as a heroic version of Mime! FYI, Cat Noir sucks at charades. Stick to texts Ladybug, game night with him on this would be a disaster (least she can still physically respond to his sassy remarks by bonking his head w/ her yo-yo😁). After becoming a master of a thousand voices, Silencer threatens to ruin Bob Roth’s reputation using authority voices he stole (ex.the mayor, the police) if he doesn’t go on live tv and confess to plagiarizing Kitty Section. Cat Noir points out to Ladybug that this shouldn’t be a problem since that’s all he was trying to do cuz Bob is a corrupt a**hole, but Ladybug says texts, “It would be revenge not justice”. Resorting to wrongdoings isn’t the way to get the truth out as Ladybug remembered from her own experiences with lashing out (“Volpina”/“Chameleon”). Justice is super important thing to Ladybug and wants it done fair and square. In the end, Ladybug goes Ghostbusters on Silencer and she and Cat save the day, Bob smugly confesses to stealing from Kitty Section when he thinks he’s still off the hook, but Cat catches it live on tv! HA! Take that ya music moguling moron! Bob saves his own a** saying it was “a surprise” and signs the band a record deal. Sure Bob, sure, they’ll take the record deal though!

So, Kitty Section’s theme is a Pastel Pop/Rock band where all their songs are about unicorns. Seems legit. We know that Rose is the lead singer, Luka is on bass, his sister Juleka on electric guitar and Ivan on drums. Good to know their band is still a thing and not just a one off joke. I actually like this song from them better then the Heavy Metal version one from their first performance. This one was more Rock n’ Roll and it’s catchy! Now that they got a record deal maybe it’ll be continued in a future episode too! Bob Roth is XY’s father!? WTF!? So he’s both Jagged Stone and XY’s producer? In secret!? Or do they know!? Cuz I sure as Hell did not! Oh and XY’s real name is actually Xavier-Yves! XD. It makes sense actually that Bob is XY’s father, from what we’ve seen of him in the show, he’s been trying to change (control) Jagged Stones career by making him into a copy of XY! In “Guitar Villain”, Bob wanted Jaggeds new album design the same as XY’s (“perfume ad style”) and in “Troublemaker”, he wanted Jagged on a cheesy tv show that Jagged said wasn’t “Rock n’ Roll” for him. Probably tryin’ to spice up his sons “style” by making another popular celebrity do the same thing to reach out to the young demographic, but the thing is, Jagged is true to his theme while XY is a f**king fake! Well, he may be a fake, but he’s a fake w/ feelings since hearing his own father say he sucks was just low. Ouch! Despite what Ladybug said about “revenge not justice”, she wasn’t above shutting up Bob Roth when she was trying to protect him and he just kept badmouthing Kitty Section blaming them for the akuma and rudely critizing her and Cat Noir. Action speaks louder than words indeed for what she did to him😏. He deserved it! Then there’s another limited use for the superheroes powers, it can only be used in their voice and Silencer took Ladybugs. Another challenge Ladybug had to face since she rarely gets hit by the villains powers (that’s Cat Noir) and it’s okay as long as she’s not brainwashed cuz we need her to purify the akumas. I really would like there to be a twist that Marinette/Ladybug gets akumatized! And see how the remaining characters fix that! Let’s see how the writers can handle that! I heard this was the Lukanette episode. And it shows! Adrien was barely in it at all, so it was just them. When was the last time we saw Luka, “Frozer”!? Cuz he’s appeared like twice already and so far, I’ve seen more of Kagami than him. In his third appearance, I’m seeing that Marinette is slowly falling for him too. Turns out he meant what he said as Silencer word for word and Marinette seems to like that. Looks like there’s room in her heart for one more guy. I mean, from his last two appearances, Marinette likes that’s he’s nice, talented and is into Jagged Stone like her and she even went on a date with him. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, Marinette is more at ease w/ him then she is w/ Adrien if she’s starting to like him back. In-universe, Alya ships Adrienette, Marinettes father ships Marichat, Adrien ships Ladrien (tries to hide laughter) and Paris ships Ladynoir! Course it’s been shown the love square is endgame millions of times what with all the parallels and dynamics the two share, but just when is it gonna be canon!?

[mst3kproject]

The Choppers

It’s teenage crime spree time!  With Arch Hall Sr. writing and producing, Arch Hall Jr. starring, and Bruno VeSoto supporting, the result is sure to be MST3K-worthy. All it’s missing is Ray Dennis Steckler, but I guess one can’t have everything.

America’s youth is its greatest resource, and those youth are in danger of growing up into criminals.  Witness our antagonists here: Cruiser, Torch, Ben, Flip, and Snooper. They drive around in a truck full of chickens, taking apart random cars and selling the pieces to Moose, a grouchy and unscrupulous junkyard owner.  The cops are baffled, but sooner or later the young thugs are bound to make a fatal mistake – and theirs comes when they girl they decide to sexually harass turns out to be the secretary of an insurance investigator.  At around the same time, Moose gets tired of their attitude and decides to turn them in.  Looks like the Choppers have chopped their last, uh… chop, I guess.

I’m sure you all want to know whether Arch Hall Jr. sings in this movie.  He does, but not until forty-five minutes in when I really had begun to hope I’d escaped him.  The piece is actually kind of catchy although not particularly memorable, but I may be in a forgiving mood because the first musical number in the movie was so much worse.  It’s performed by an elderly guy who works at Moose’s junkyard, and not only is he a bad singer, but what starts out sounding like a boy scout campfire ditty turns out to be a mournful country song about his divorce.  It made me long for the comparatively sweet strains of I Love You Vickie.

The photography here is notably terrible.  Almost the entire movie takes place outdoors in harsh desert sunshine because I think they didn’t actually have any lights.  Indoor scenes are kind of dim and night scenes are completely indecipherable – although I think somebody didn’t believe a practically pitch-black screen was enough to convince us it was night, because there are also lots of loud cricket noises.  There’s a bit where the Choppers vandalize a guy’s car because he took their parking spot and it’s almost impossible to see anyone’s faces or tell who’s talking.

The acting is sort of indifferently bad. Arch Hall Jr. is Arch Hall Jr., where everything he says sounds kind of stagey and dumb, and nobody else is much better.  The twenty-somethings playing the young criminals use hip slang in a way that suggests they have no idea what these words actually mean.  Arch Hall Sr. continues to believe he can build his son into a teen heartthrob, and so he shows us things like Cruiser’s pasty chest and belly as he lounges by a pool.

You say you didn’t need that screencap? Well, I didn’t need the shot it came from.

Most of the screen time in the movie is spent on the Choppers as they take apart cars, play or listen to bad music, argue with each other, and harass women.  The supposed heroes aren’t on screen nearly so much, but that’s okay because they are stunningly un-likeable.  There are a couple of bland cops, but the ones who are really our protagonists are inept insurance investigator Tom Hart and his nagging girlfriend Liz.  Tom comes across as an oblivious dope, while Liz constantly whines that she’s tired of fighting crime and wants to go home and eat.

Tom never redeems himself, but Liz gets a couple of moments.  She’s the one who notices that feathers keep turning up at the crime scenes, and when she recognizes Cruiser’s car at a drive-in she is able to keep him staring at her boobs long enough for her to memorize the license plate number. Naturally at the climax, she is not present and Tom, who did pretty much nothing all movie, gets all the credit for catching the gang.  The movie doesn’t make anything out of this because it doesn’t see anything wrong with it.

Which of course brings us to the fact that The Choppers hates women something fierce. There are only two we can actually be said to meet: Cruiser’s empty-headed girlfriend Gypsy (I know a bot who would be righteously angry at this name choice) is there to hang around in a bathing suit and be dumb.  The movie can’t decide how much she does or doesn’t know about his criminal hobbies – she seems to help vandalize the car in the parking lot, but then becomes the damsel in distress at the final shootout.  Liz nags, mocks, and generally treats Tom terribly, and at the end her competence is treated as his accomplishment.

Several of the five boys have backstories that depend on absent fathers – Cruiser’s was killed in WWII, Torch’s is an alcoholic, and Snooper has had a series of uninterested stepfathers.  The implication is that a single mother cannot possibly raise a boy.  He needs a father to turn him into a man (this is as near as stated aloud when a reporter attempts to interview Torch’s drunken father on the radio).  The only moment involving a woman that doesn’t reek of misogyny is when the boys harass a waitress and she blows them off.

If we’re gonna talk about fathers and sons… this is another movie Arch Hall Sr. made to try to build up his son’s career, and another movie in which the two of them are at odds.  They never actually meet in The Choppers, but the reporter played by Hall Sr. comments on how intelligent and talented the boys are and how much they could have accomplished if they’d only had the chance to live up to their potential.  Once again, it’s really, really tempting to try to do some psychoanalysis here, as if Arch Hall Sr. was using his films to tell the world how disappointed he was with his son.  I don’t know these people, of course, but that’s definitely the impression I get.

The main theme in The Choppers is one I’ve already dealt with, the idea that a boy without a father will become a criminal, stuck forever in the stage of life where rule-breaking is fun and consequences are things that happen to other people.  There seems to be a level on which the boys have adopted Moose as a sort of substitute father – he has encouraged and taught them in their criminal endeavours, and while he and they argue and threaten each other, they are honestly shocked by his eventual betrayal.  In the end, Moose abandons them just as their biological fathers have done.

There also seems to be some attempt to talk about class. All the Choppers seem to come from underprivileged backgrounds except for Cruiser, who has a backyard pool and a fancy car.  This puts him in the same category as Paula from The Violent Years, in that we’re given no good reason why he does this besides what his says to the reporter at the end: “we had a ball.”  Like Paula, Cruiser is the leader of the gang, but unlike her, he does not participate in the actual crimes.  Instead, Cruiser and his fancy car serve as lookouts – his upper-class origin allows him to be in charge without having to get his hands dirty, and there are signs that the rest of the boys resent this.  When they are all cornered at the end, it’s Cruiser who suggests giving up while Torch prefers to go down fighting.  Unlike the others, he’s not sufficiently invested in this to die for it.

What the movie is trying to say here is that money is not a substitute for good parenting, and privileged boys can still fall into crime if their fathers aren’t there for them.  What it manages to imply is that even in crime being rich gives you a head start and can make you a leader regardless of actual leadership qualities.

So this movie is really, really bad, and doesn’t deal very well with its thematic material – but that’s not to say there’s no entertainment value to be found here.  It’s never funny when it tries to be, of course. There’s an attempt at a running joke with Snooper wondering if he’d be more attractive to women if he wore contact lenses, which will make you shudder if you know what contact lenses were like in the 50’s and early 60’s.  The humour that works in The Choppers is naturally the unintentional kind, to be found in the bad acting and the unwieldy chicken truck.

My favourite moment is when Cruiser, talking on a candy-striped walkie-talkie the size of a dachshund, tells his cronies to give the police “the farmer routine”.  Flip and Snooper immediately pull a couple of cowboy hats out of fucking nowhere and put them on, and I almost did a real-life spit take.  This feels like the kind of thing that would have fascinated the Best Brains.  I can imagine Joel, Crow, and Tom whipping their own Stetsons out from under the theatre seats to wear for the rest of the scene (Servo would have needed help with his) and every subsequent appearance of a cop being greeted with, “quick, put on your cowboy hats!”  It would definitely be the stinger.

Talking about having a favourite Arch Hall Jr. movie is like talking about having a favourite kind of turd to eat, but insofar as the statement means anything, The Choppers is my second-favourite of his movies I’ve seen so far.  It’s less misogynistic than Eegah! (not a high bar) and doesn’t have nearly as much crappy music as Wild Guitar (accomplished by simply having less music).  My favourite Arch Hall Jr. movie is The Sadist, which I actually don’t consider bad enough for this blog.  In The Sadist Hall Jr. played a serial killer, and he was pretty terrifying.  If he’d had more roles like that (with directors who were not his father and could actually coach good performances out of him) he might have been a decent character actor.

[lawisnotmocked]

BBC Les Mis Episode 1

As promised (a few days ago ^^’) my review/analysis/thoughts on the first episode of the new bbc miniseries!

Warning for spoilers ahead! And it got really long so uh! Warning for that too!

Oh my god it’s 2000 words that's longer than some of the essays I submitted for uni good luck lads :,3

I’m just going to start with a few quick thoughts! 

Antagonists like Tholomeys, Thenardier and Gillenormand are all awful scumbags and perfect to hate! So great job there! 

Less of a great job with the font! Which was frankly an awful choice! Who's idea was that! 

The transitions were a little weird too. Switching straight from beautiful scenery and kissing scenes to Toulon threw me off a little ^^’  

Tholomeys sure did piss on a tree though huh :,) somehow that was vitally important and needed screen time :,) Didn’t need to see a nude Felix either :,)

I would die for Georges and little Marius Pontmercy though. Georges.... is handsome.... and baby Marius is so precious omg! ‘Scoundwel’! I die!

Fantine was so sweet and precious it broke my heart :,)

The scenery was beautiful too! 

Oh and there were lots of animals featured too and I will talk about some of them later but I loved all of them especially the goats!

Just look at these little stars :,)

Right! Now all of that’s out of the way I’ll talk about what you were probably actually interested in if you follow me: Valjean and Javert!

I love Oyelowo’s Javert. He’s an incredible actor and he clearly understands Javert’s character and motivations. Plus..... hhhh sexy voice...... handsome.....

West is also a great actor and plays Valjean brilliantly, however there’s a few things Davies has done to Valjean’s character that I’m not too pleased with :/ But! I’ll talk about that next!

This is.... also definitely a valvert adaptation. If they keep up like this it might be even more of a valvert adaptation than 1978!

I’m going to talk about specific scenes now! And the first one I’m going to address is one that takes place in Toulon early on and has already been discussed a lot!

So. Does Valjean try to kill someone??

I mean. What happens is an intentional action. He sees a guard telling off another prisoner, waits until the guard stands underneath him and then keeps checking on him to make sure he’s still there before he drops a fuckton of rocks on top of him. Was the intention actually murder? Maybe?? He smiles afterwards but he also smiles knowing that the guy isn’t dead and is only injured? So I’m not sure ^^’ He goes down to help lift the rock off the guard afterwards, but it seems more like at this point there’s some sort of threatening/showing off directed towards Javert, who was watching the whole thing, in a ‘look what I can do you think you have the power here but I can hurt people too and the decision to save this man was in my hands’. Anyway I kind of like that? And kind of really hate it because it’s really out of character. As a nonverbal exchange between prisoner and guard, I love it. As Jean Valjean purposefully perhaps trying to kill someone, I hate it. Because that’s not Valjean. Angry Toulon Valjean is sulky and hateful, not violent. So anyway that’s my Hot Take on that scene!

So the next Toulon scene I took notes on is also a valvert scene! Javert has a guard take Valjean to what seems to be some sort of torture room and has him restrained (sounds like a fanfic opening I know I promise this happens) then the guard leaves them alone together. This scene seems to be Javert ‘correcting’ the power balance after what Valjean did earlier and it has so much potential to be an incredible scene! If the dialogue wasn’t so clunky! Javert’s entire backstory is just dumped into the interaction and all it leads up to is a joke. Hey Davies there’s this thing called buildup and using this incredibly important information about Javert’s character for something dramatic! Come on! Flashbacks! Shouting! Using it to suddenly make everything make sense! Not casually having him say it in the first episode it doesn’t mean anything to anyone at that point! Please watch Shoujo Cosette and take some inspiration from them! Even the musical drops the information at a Dramatic Moment! Wasted opportunity! Dsfsfsf anyway ^^’ despite the limitations of the script Oyelowo did incredibly with it and I’m so excited to see more of his Javert!

Oh yeah and Valjean strips in front of Javert did I mention that? (I mean. I’m not complaining about the Valjean butt 👀 and muscular shoulders 👀👀) Did I also mention that there’s implied interest from Javert? I’m actually... not liking this because I don’t trust Davies.... like, Toulon era is the least healthy way to do valvert which is fine in fandom where we understand that and do it anyway with that understanding, but in a real adaptation? Where that understanding isn’t established and it’s real popular representation and Javert is implied to be a predatory gay man? I don’t like that too much. But we’ll see it’s only the first episode maybe it’ll get better as we go along. Still not complaining about the Valjean butt uwu Also! “Monsieur 24601”! So there is some good dialogue after all! Just do that with the other scenes!

Dsfsfsf just found “Was Valjean putting his head under a water fountain entirely necessary? No. Did I appreciate it anyway? Absolutely.” in my notes without any context too lol

Uhhhh Myriel scenes! Myriel is perfect and I adore him Valjean is still too aggressive it doesn’t feel like him :/ The scene when Myriel gives Valjean the candlesticks was too creepy too I didn’t like that what’s with the creepy music Davies it’s a nice good scene :,3

Petit Gervais sings! No singing allowed! Illegal!

Didn’t like what Davies did to the petit Gervais scene though!! Valjean intentionally stole the coin knowing what he was doing. It was supposed to be unintentional and unconscious that’s what makes it emotional and that’s what breaks him goddamn it! Of course I was very happy to have Petit Gervais included but I still feel like this scene had so much potential that was almost reached but just wasn’t quite!

But. It’s only the first episode. I still have hope that Valjean’s characterisation might improve later on! Please for the love of god let’s not have a repeat of 1998!

So far I would say the miniseries is enjoyable enough and definitely still worth watching! No les mis adaptation is perfect and this certainly isn’t a bad one as of the first episode!

So now you’ve read the part you actually wanted to read it’s time for me to talk about (potentially unintended) animal symbolism >:3 Look I had the decency to put it at the bottom at least! Could I have made it a separate post? Yes. But I didn’t die mad about it.

Hugo’s animal symbolism in the Brick is clearly something Davies has picked up on and decided to incorporate aspects of into his own adaptation. I don’t know how far or deep he intends to go with the symbolism but from the beginning there’s a fair bit of animal imagery in speech, mostly in relation to Valjean, but it’s also once used with Tholomeys when Favourite says “he looks as if he wants to eat you Fantine!” Hugo used imagery of predators (and of eating people :,3) to indicate individuals as dangerous so this is very fitting with that line of symbolism. But Sirius! You say, a comment like that doesn’t automatically mean intentional animal symbolism! Not on its own no, but alongside everything else it looks more likely that it’s intentional!

As I mentioned, the majority of animal imagery in speech in this episode is in relation to Valjean. The first example is when a guard calls a prisoner a ‘filthy dog’ in one of the Toulon scenes. The prisoner isn’t Valjean but Valjean is watching. The next example is also in reference to dogs when Valjean asks Myriel “how can I love my fellow man when he treats me worse than a dog?” I’m pretty sure this is a reference to the line “I am not even a dog!” from the Brick which I got very excited about! As a brief summary of the symbolism of dogs in les mis, Javert is a dog. He’s a social outcast like Valjean but he chooses to protect society as a policeman, making him a domestic dog and not a wild beast. Valjean is ‘not even a dog’ and ‘treated worse than a dog’ because even though they’re both social outcasts, Javert’s position gives him some sort of status, while Valjean is left with a yellow passport and nowhere to sleep. The final reference to dogs is... actually not the final reference and comes before Valjean talks to Myriel but I’m talking about this out of order lol. 

Valjean goes into a building looking for somewhere to sleep and instead finds a dog who barks at him and chases him off. This is a reference to one of my favourite scenes in the Brick which includes this quote: “I went into a dog’s kennel; the dog bit me and chased me off, as though he had been a man. One would have said that he knew who I was.” Javert is a dog. This scene is foreshadowing for the relationship Javert has with Madeline in M-sur-M. I really hope Davies takes the symbolism this deep by giving us a scene in the future that links Javert with dogs in this series! He probably won’t ^^’ But I’ll still be looking out for it!

Here’s a post with links to more analysis I’ve done on dogs in the brick if anyone was interested!

Moving on to the other animal symbolism used with Valjean! Yeah that’s right I’m still not done! After Valjean takes off with Myriel’s silver, Madame Magloire calls Valjean an “ungrateful beast” and then tells her brother off for “letting a wild beast like that into your house”. There is, of course, also the scene when Valjean (to quote my notes) ‘roars like a beastie’ before running away after Myriel gives him the candlesticks. The symbolism of ‘wild beast’ is also something used by Hugo in the Brick and the meaning of that symbolism is described surprisingly unsubtly: “the peculiarity of pains of this nature, in which that which is pitiless–that is to say, that which is brutalizing–predominates, is to transform a man, little by little, by a sort of stupid transfiguration, into a wild beast; sometimes into a ferocious beast.” 

That’s all I have to say about Valjean but!! I’m still not gonna shut up!! Because now I’m gonna talk about Cosette!!

In her room, Fantine has a bird in a cage.

Look it even gets a shot to itself! 

This bird is also shown at the end of the episode when Fantine is holding Cosette.

There they are! This file is saved as birbsette on my laptop lol.

Anyway, I’m fairly certain that this is a reference to Cosette’s Hugo Assigned Symbolic Animal being a songbird, specifically a lark. Of course it could be that the bird in a cage is actually associated with Fantine but we’ll have to wait until future episodes to see if the use of birds is continued and who they’re linked to if it is!

So! In summary! Davies has actually set up the basis for a lot of animal symbolism in the first episode and I’m very excited to see how far he decides to take in in further episodes! And we also learnt that Sirius has a hyperfixation! Thanks for getting this far folks and as always feel free to add anything on to or correct any mistakes in my ramblings!

[belizedeservesbetter]

The Prom Was Actually Really Wonderful!

or, in which I ate my words and actually adored this show

[[UPDATE 2020 but literally as soon as I posted this I started giving the show some more serious thought and I literally take back just about every positive thing I said about this show. I wrote my lil review after the emotional high of seeing it but once I’ve given it any actual thought I realized this show is BAD. If I write a full updated review I’ll link it here.]]

Full disclosure but I fully went into this show expecting to hate it. I thought the initial idea was kind of stupid and as a lesbian I wanted a show more akin to Fun Home or even Everybody’s Talking About Jamie. I thought The Prom would be terrible and was super vocal about it to anyone who would listen.

Well I definitely was wrong though because this show completely won me over. From the songs to the characters to the story, I loved it. 

This show appeals to all of my interests: theatre, original musicals, lesbians, and Beth Leavel wearing pant suits. The show isn’t perfect and I do have some pretty big problems with it, but all in all I really loved it and found it moving and inspiring.

The songs were mostly good. There were definitely like five filler songs (Zazz being one of them, as much as I love Angie Schworer) but they were all very catchy, despite some so-so lyrics. I almost felt like the composers paired each of their songs with a Broadway standard because after just about every song I was like “wait that kind of sounded like another song.” I think Zazz is actually the best example because I kept thinking they were going to start singing “Roxie” from Chicago which would have made sense considering the character. Some of my favorites were Dance With You (so cute! so sweet!), You Happened, The Lady’s Improving and Alyssa Green (which actually made me cry). Unruly Heart was good too and I definitely was moved and cried but the song/whole scene was basically You Will Be Found and You Will Be Found is better than Unruly Heart so it’s a shame they were so similar because it lost part of its impact. 

However, my favorite song in this whole show was It’s Not About Me. That whole scene made me laugh so fucking hard. Beth Leavel was phenomenal singing that song and really that whole scene was fantastic. The amount of Broadway references packed into that song was such a treat. 

Everyone in this show was giving it their all. Brooks Ashmanskas as Barry was truly wonderful. He was funny but vulnerable all at the right moments. The show was really about him which I didn’t even know walking into it but his performance really stood out to me. Beth Leavel, of course, was Beth Leavel. Amazing. Stunning. My favorite costumes were all of her pantsuits. 

Christopher Sieber is always really incredible and this show was no exception. Actually he was even better than normal because you really tell that his whole heart is in this and how passionate he is about this show. 

Caitlin Kinnunen’s performance as Emma particularly stood out to me because in a show full of big and flashy performances, her quieter and more nuanced performance was really grounding. She was really the heart of the show. Even though she wasn’t the loudest or the funniest, it was her character that gave the show its backbone. All her scenes with Isabelle McCalla’s Alyssa Green were either incredibly sweet or very heartbreaking. Also in general the writing of her scenes were generally the best. 

The story was actually my favorite part of the show, as much as I loved all the performances and songs. It’s actually a really touching story about two girls trying to find the confidence to be who they are openly as well as an actor who has to confront his own childhood trauma in order to move forward in his life as well as help the next generation. It’s a comedy and it’s very very funny but The Prom was at its best when it put the jokes just a little to the side and took the time to be serious. The dynamic between Barry (Brooks Ashmanaskas) and Emma (Caitlin Kinnuenen) was super interesting because of the very different worlds they grew up in and how Barry in particular moves forward in that. 

Throughout the show I kept hoping they’d go back to the Emma and Alyssa scenes because not only were they sweet but they brought up some big questions that are relevant but also important. There’s this looming threat of “consequences” hanging over the two of them and what will happen to their worlds if Alyssa comes out. Alyssa, who is trying so hard to not disappoint her mother which I 100% felt and to be honest got a little weepy over. 

Then there’s Barry, who already had to face those consequences when he came out as a kid and is not only having to revisit all those memories in order to help Emma but must realize that not feeling loved as a kid is what led to his narcissism as an adult as overcompensation. There was some really deep stuff in this musical that was completely wonderful. 

That being said, there’s a couple things in this show that I really have a hard time moving past. 

My big problem is that the people who vandalized Emma’s locker by writing “Lesbo” in it as well as putting a stuffed bear literally dangling from a noose in that locker are the same people who are magically cured of their homophobia by the power of Broadway and a solo by Christopher Sieber. These are the same people who do another incredibly cruel thing to her that I won’t mention because of a spoiler. And they tell Emma sorry and give her a hug and all of sudden everything is okay? All of a sudden everything is fine and forgiven? I don’t think so. I just don’t buy that all of a sudden everyone is not homophobic and everything is fine. I also couldn’t sympathize with any of those characters? And I didn’t like them and wanted them all to leave. Again, just a quick “sorry!” to the person you literally threatened violence against is a no from me. 

Likewise, they briefly mentioned that Emma’s parents kicked her out of the house but they never brought it up again. I actually thought very the bad sitcom The War At Home (the Rami Malek one) did a better job handling that than The Prom and The War at Home only handled it kind of well. 

At the end of the day, what is the point of Dee Dee Allen besides an opportunity for Beth Leavel to belt on a Broadway stage? Honestly, her character didn’t really do anything besides provide money. She has the least amount of time with Emma and seemed mostly interested in the principal than anything else. I don’t know. I don’t think her character was needed or added anything really. 

I actually would have preferred if the finale prom scene and the kiss happened before the cute scene between Dee Dee and Barry because they’re supposed to be the main characters but the show kind of forgets that. If they just switched those two scenes and ended with Barry and Dee Dee reflecting on this all that would have been a really nice and quiet way to end an otherwise loud and boisterous show. Casey Nicholaw would have never ended a show that way but I still think he should’ve. 

And Unruly Heart. What a sweet well-intentioned song. If only it wasn’t just a not as good You Will Be Found - social media activism/outcast choir and all. 

Whatever. I still cried. I still loved it. I would wait out in the cold at 7:30am for rush tickets again. 

[tragicbeauty1991]

In Defense of Disney's Captain Hook: A Not Wholly Unheroic Figure

With the recent popularity of ABC's hit show Once Upon a Time, the classic view of fairytale villains as irredeemable bad guys has been turned on its head, and while some of our favorite baddies like Cruella and Dr. Facilier remain fairly true to their original Disney counterparts in appearance and personality on the show, others have gotten such a complete makeover that they are hardly recognizable as the same character they are supposed to portray. Among those given the latter treatment is fan favorite Killian Jones, a.k.a. Captain Hook. In a day and age when Jack Sparrow is the first fictional pirate who comes to mind, it's no surprise that the show's creators decided to embrace the guy-liner and black leather-wearing sexy bad boy approach to the character, but while this creative choice has had the effect of garnering fans' attention, it has also had the unfortunate effect of turning the original character into something of a joke. While Killian is viewed as a well-developed sympathetic character with the potential for redemption, Disney's original version of the character tends to be seen as little more than a straightforward comical villain with little or no real depth. As a fan of the original Disney version of the character, however, I'd like to argue that from the very beginning, Disney's Hook was always intended to be a complex, likable villain and continues to be portrayed as such in modern Disney media. My argument is as follows:

Hook's original creators, including author J.M. Barrie, producer Walt Disney, and voice actor Hans Conried loved the character.

The original author of Peter Pan, James Matthew Barrie—who significantly gave his own first name to the pirate captain—is quick to remind the audience that despite his flaws, Hook “was not wholly evil; he loved flowers...and sweet music (he was himself no mean performer on the harpsichord)....” When Walt Disney decided to approach the character, he quickly realized that a villain with such a soft side would appeal to the viewers and instructed the animators to alter the original ending of the story, having Hook chased off by the crocodile but still clearly alive because “the audience will get to liking Hook and they won't want to see him killed.” Hans Conried, who served as both the voice-actor and the live-action reference model for Hook's character design, also had a fondness for him, stating that “He's a much maligned character. If you read the lines with any sensibility at all, you must have an animus against Peter Pan who could fly, and took outrageous advantage of this one-armed man. Hook was a gentleman. Pan was not. His behavior was very bad form.”

His motivation as a villain departs from the standard and immediately sets him up as a sympathetic character.

Whereas many of the traditional Disney villains are motivated by greed, envy, the desire for power, or revenge for a petty slight, Hook departs significantly from the norm in that his motivation stems from severe physical (and arguably psychological) trauma suffered at the hands of the supposed hero. While we are never told the exact circumstances under which the hand loss occurred, Hook has a legitimate reason to hate Peter Pan that runs much deeper than mere jealousy or megalomania. In fact, in his opening scene with Mr. Smee, Hook concedes that even such a crippling injury alone would not have warranted his hatred; rather, it is the fact that Peter gave the hand to the crocodile, causing him to live in a constant state of fear (and the boy's tendency to exploit that fear), that pushed him over the edge.

He has a multifaceted, well-developed personality which humanizes him for the audience.

In various interviews animator Frank Thomas has discussed the disparity between the personality storyman Ed Penner and director Gerry Geronimi envisioned for the character and the resulting difficulty he had in designing the version of Captain Hook that we see in the finished film. One viewed him as a foppish dandy of a fellow while the other envisioned a much darker, more frightening man who readily used the hook as a weapon against his enemies. This difficulty was further complicated by the fact that action-scene animator Woolie Reitherman—who was responsible for drawing Hook's interactions with the crocodile—wanted to bring a level of comedy to the character which somewhat clashed with his depiction in more serious scenes. The final result was a villain unlike any other Disney had created at the time—a villain who was by turns both fearsome and fragile, dangerous and debonair. Many of Disney's earliest films focused more on the new art of animation than the art of developing well-rounded characters, resulting in very black and white idealized heroes and villains. With Hook, Disney crossed a line into the morally gray territory, resulting in a sympathetic yet sinister character whose moments of weakness would endear him to audiences while his wickedness simultaneously appalled them.

His physical and emotional issues are highly relatable.

Ironically, despite the obvious mention of the prosthetic in his name, we tend to forget that Hook is technically disabled (by our “hero” no less!)...and that physical disability comes with a host of other issues, some of which are trauma-related. In addition to the crippling anxiety we see displayed on-screen, other Disney media indicate that he also suffers from high blood pressure (Kingdom Hearts manga), depression (365 Bedtime Stories), and low self-esteem (Jake and the Neverland Pirates). These are very real everyday issues that we can all relate to on some level either through personal experience or through someone we know.

The dynamic he has with Mr. Smee is unique among Disney villains and sidekicks.

Disney sidekicks—while often providing exceptional comic relief for the audience—are not always necessary for the hero/villain to stand on their own. Many early villain sidekicks, in particular, are given very little personality and some (Diablo in Sleeping Beauty and Gideon in Pinocchio, for example) don't even have any lines. While the sidekick to the primary villain often relies on his/her master as the brains of the operation, the primary villain usually has little need for their companionship. They are expendable resources whom the villain could easily replace or do away with altogether. Hook and Smee's relationship is different in that neither character could properly function alone; Smee relies on Hook for leadership and direction while Hook heavily depends on Smee for emotional support. Further, Smee—unlike many villain sidekicks—seems to genuinely care about his captain's well-being, and Hook recognizes and appreciates this, if only subconsciously. Despite being frequently irritated by his sidekick's apparent incompetence, Hook—a man who doesn't hesitate to shoot his own crewman for singing badly—never legitimately threatens Smee, resorting to raising a fist or giving a smack with the blunt side of his hook to show his frustration rather than taking a swipe at him with the more dangerous side of the claw. The crew, too, recognize Smee's privileged ability to speak his mind plainly to the captain without fear of serious repercussions, showing obvious disdain for him. One character is rarely ever seen without the other, and for good reason—neither one is capable of standing alone, their on-screen chemistry likely a result of the fact that animators Frank Thomas (Hook) and Ollie Johnston (Smee) were real-life best friends.

In the more lighthearted Jake and the Neverland Pirates series for Disney Junior, the characters' relationship is further expanded into actual camaraderie, and the two pirates play off each other extremely well in what voice-actor Corey Burton (current Hook) has described fondly as a “vaudeville comedy routine,” crediting the success of their dynamic in the show to his own friendship with fellow voice-actor Jeff Bennett, who performs as Smee, the relationship of the men behind the characters once again bleeding over into their fictional personas with the best possible results.

He occasionally displays qualities typical of a Disney hero.

While Barrie notes in his book that Hook is a “not wholly unheroic figure,” Disney's original film did little to show this side of the character. However, subsequent portrayals of the captain in various media indicate that this villain has the potential for moral growth. For example, in a deleted song from Return to Neverland, one of the pirates mentions Hook taking him in when he was a child. Another example of such benevolent behavior occurs in Epic Mickey: Castle of Illusion; at the end of the game when the illusion is broken and characters are saying their farewells to Mickey, Hook actually apologizes for his behavior while he was out of sorts, suggesting that although he is quite willing to fight anyone actively siding with Peter, he generally has no qualms with other Disney heroes and is capable of being civil and even polite to them. Additionally, in the Kingdom Hearts manga, Hook actually saves Peter (admittedly because he wants to have the pleasure of taking out Peter himself, but it's something, at least). Furthermore, in the preschool series Jake and the Neverland Pirates, Hook occasionally partners up with the main characters and in most instances, though he's a bit of a bully, ends up doing the right thing when hard-pressed to make a serious decision so long as Peter isn't around. In the episode The Legion of Pirate Villains, he even proudly proclaims to the main cast's common foe, “I am no mere villain. I am a villainous hero!” This concept of Hook as a sort of anti-hero was even hinted at in a line-up of character products known as the Disney Adventurers franchise sold at the Disney Store between 1999 and 2004. This franchise, originally intended to be the more masculine counterpart of the Disney Princess line, featured Hook as the ONLY villain apparently fighting alongside heroes including Tarzan, Aladdin, Hercules, and—astonishingly—Peter Pan.

TL; DR – Captain Hook is a highly complex, relatable character who deserves his place among the most iconic Disney villains. Walt and others who were critical to the development of his character loved him, and you should too.

[thanksariel]

We Liked You Better Fat: Confessions Of a Pariah

February 28th, 2012 at 9:54 PM

(I couldn’t find it anywhere. Patrick deleted it and it was posted to AP but they also deleted it. Luckily I had it somewhere. Ariel: 1 internet: 0)

There’s this really nice piece at underthegunreview.net by Jacob Tender that a friend forwarded me today. It’s about how important Fall Out Boy’s album “From Under the Cork Tree,” was to him. After reading it though, nostalgic and well-written as it was, I really found myself more depressed than anything. It’s a complicated feeling, one that I’ve been incapable of explaining to anyone and have them fully understand. In spite of this though, I suppose I will give it the old-I-didn’t-go-to-college-try:

Tender had one line that really hit home for me. I related to it in terms of my feelings towards other artists, but I also winced at the profound implications it touched on in my own professional life:

“I didn’t like those pretentious assholes who didn’t like anything after Take This To Your Grave. I now recognize that I’m one of those assholes, but I still fume when some of my favorite records are so easily discredited by ignorant semi-listeners.”

The reality is that for a certain number of people, all I’ve ever done, all I ever will do, and all I ever had the capacity to do worth a damn was a record I began recording when I was 18 years old. That I can live with. That’s fine and fair; I have those records in my collection that seem to stand out far above the rest of my favorite artists catalogues (and especially for artists in whom I only have a passing interest). I suppose there’s nothing wrong in thinking I’m at a point in my life where it seems I’ll never catch up: If anyone’s going to appreciate the work I’m making, it won’t be until long after I’m done doing it. Again, this is fine: I’m insanely lucky to even imagine anyone ever appreciating anything I ever do, let alone in real time. Countless artists far better than I have only achieved posthumous acclaim. If I am to be obscure and financially unsuccessful, there’s nothing disheartening in that. The thing that’s more disheartening is the constant stream of insults I’m enduring in my financially unsuccessful obscurity.

Fall Out Boy’s last album Folie A Deux was our most critically panned and audiences openly hated it (it was also our poorest selling major label album even if one adjusts for the changing music economy). Now, that’s not to say it didn’t have its fans, but at no other point in my professional career was I nearly booed off stages for playing new songs. Touring on Folie was like being the last act at the Vaudville show: We were rotten vegetable targets in Clandestine hoodies.

That experience really took the wind out of the band’s sails; It stopped being fun. I suppose I’m just not that thick skinned. So perhaps it was even more ill-advised when I went out and did something I’d always wanted to do; make my album and have it released by Island Records [my solo record Soul Punk]. I coincidentally happened to achieve another goal which was to lose the weight I’d been carrying around since a month-long drinking binge after a bad breakup. Those accomplishments were happy things. Living in the moments of achieving them were perhaps among the happiest in my life.

So when I went out into the world to show off the self I felt like I was happiest and most comfortable being, I suppose I knew there would be the “Haters” [I loathe the clumsy/insufficient word but it seems the most universal]; The elitists that would always prove impossible to please. I had always been prepared for “Haters,” because there’s never been a moment since I graduated high school where I haven’t been the guy in “That Emo band.” First said emo band was dismissed as third rate pop-punk played by hardcore kids…a pale imitation of Saves the Day. Then we were swept up in the emo backlash [I really didn’t know we were an emo band…that’s not what the word meant a decade ago]. To this day my favorite writer at cracked.com will occasionally take swipes at my band as one of the worst things to come out of the 2000’s. We were a (albeit funny) running joke on an episode of Children’s Hospital.

Those examples of “Haters,” were people who never liked me (or at least never liked my music) and, by all rights, never really should. Such is the way of things. Different strokes for different folks as it were. What I wasn’t prepared for was the fervor of the hate from people who were ostensibly my own supporters (or at least supporters of something I had been part of). The barrage of “We liked you better fat,” the threatening letters to my home, the kids that paid for tickets to my solo shows to tell me how much I sucked without Fall Out Boy, that wasn’t psomething I suppose I was or ever will be ready for. That’s dedication. That’s real palpable anger. Add into that the economic risk I had taken [In short: I blew my nest egg on that record and touring in support of it] the hate really crushed me. The standard response to any complaints I could possibly have about my position in life seems to be “You poor sad multi-millionaire. I feel so sorry for you.”

Quite right, I still have access to enough money to live on in order to avoid bankruptcy for at least a few years as long as I stick to my budget, but money really isn’t everything and it never was. Perhaps those are the words of a privileged man who doesn’t really know what poverty really feels like. Again, that would be a fair rebuttal; I wasn’t raised rich, but lower middle class upbringing in early 90’s Midwest US of A is still a far way from the bread line. Still, there’s no amount of money in the world that makes one feel content with having no self respect. There’s no amount of money that makes you feel better when people think of you as a joke or a hack or a failure or ugly or stupid or morally empty.

This of course isn’t Tender’s fault. He never said anything negative and indeed only said great/supportive things. I guess I’m just angry because he illuminates why I’m a 27 has-been. I’m a touring artist and I feel I’ve become incapable of touring anymore with any act…whether I were to go out as a solo artist or do some Fall Out Boy “Reunion” [nope: Still never broke up] or start a new band…there will still be 10-20 percent of the audience there to tell me how shitty whatever it is I’m doing is and how much better the thing I used to do was. Not only that, but that 10-20 percent combined with whatever notoriety Fall Out Boy used to have prevents me from having the ability to start over from the bottom again. I can’t even go back to playing basement shows. As the saying goes: I couldn’t get booked at the opening of a letter.

It’s as though I’ve received some big cosmic sign that says I should disappear. So I’ve kind of disappeared. I know a lot of you have wondered where I’ve been. I’m sure others of you are disappointed to hear I’m still kicking around somewhere (kidding…sort of). But the truth is wherever and whoever I am, whoever I am whenever I release whatever release is my next, whoever said recording is recorded with: I will never be the kid from Take This To Your Grave again. And I’m deeply sorry that I can’t be, I truly am (no irony, no sarcasm). I hate waking up every morning knowing I’m disappointing so many people. I hate feeling like the awkward adult husk of a discarded once-cute child actor. I’m debating going back to school and learning a proper trade. It’s tempting to say I won’t ever play/tour/record again, but I think that’s probably just pent up poor-me emotional pessimism talking (I suppose can be excused of that though right? I am the guy from That Emo Band after all).

I’ve managed to cobble together some work…I’ve been moonlighting as a professional songwriter/producer for hire and I’ve even been doing a bit of acting here and there. I have no interest (and evidently that sentiment is reciprocated) in performing music publicly any time soon but as I’ve said I’m sure that will happen when it happens. I have been debating releasing the unfinished follow-up to Soul Punk. We’ll see what happens there. Still no word on Fall Out Boy…I know Joe’s working on his new record and Pete’s mixtape just came out so I don’t expect anything on that front in the near future. I, as always, would be super psyched to do the band again though. I’ve been watching a lot of Downton Abbey and I’ve finally caught up on the Office. Friends have been turning me on to all the records I’ve been too busy to listen to over the past couple years.

I do suggest reading Tender’s column if it sounds interesting to you; He’s a great writer and it’s a fun/relatable little story regardless of who the band is within it (film adaptations of Nick Hornby novels should be proof of that).

[acsversace-news]

Ryan Murphy hates the word “camp.” He sees it as a lazy catchall that gets thrown at gay artists in order to marginalize their ambitions, to frame their work as niche. “I don’t think that when John Waters made ‘Female Trouble’ that he was, like, ‘I want to make a camp piece,’ ” Murphy told me last May, as we sat in a production tent in South Beach, Florida, where he was directing the pilot of “American Crime Story: The Assassination of Gianni Versace,” a nine-episode series for FX. “I think that he was, like, ‘It’s my tone—and my tone is unique.’ ”

Murphy prefers a different label: “baroque.” Between shots, the showrunner—who has overseen a dozen television series in the past two decades—elaborated, with regal authority, on this idea. To Murphy, “camp” describes not irony but something closer to clumsiness, the accident you can’t look away from. People rarely use the term to describe a melodrama made by a straight man; even when “camp” is meant as a compliment, it contains an insult, suggesting a musty smallness. “Baroque” is big. Murphy, referring to TV critics (including me) who have applied “camp” to his work, said, “I will admit that it really used to bug the shit out of me. But it doesn’t anymore.”

We were outside the Casa Casuarina, the Mediterranean-style mansion that the Italian fashion designer Gianni Versace renovated and considered his masterwork—a building with airy courtyards and a pool inlaid with dizzy ribbons of red, orange, and yellow ceramic tiles. A small bronze statue of a kneeling Aphrodite stood at the top of the mansion’s front steps. In 1997, a young gay serial killer named Andrew Cunanan shot Versace to death there as the designer, who was fifty, was returning from his morning stroll.

The previous day, Murphy had filmed the murder scene. Cunanan was played by Darren Criss, a star of Murphy’s biggest hit, “Glee.” I’d visited the set that day, too, arriving to find ambulances, cops, and paparazzi swarming outside. There was a splash of red on the marble steps. Inside the house, Edgar Ramirez, the Venezuelan actor playing Versace, sat in a shaded courtyard, his hair caked with gun-wound makeup, his face lowered in his hands.

Now Murphy was filming the aftermath of the crime, including a scene in which two lookie-loos dip a copy of Vanity Fair into the puddle of Versace’s blood. (They sell the relic on eBay.) The vibe was an odd blend of sombre and festive; a half-naked rollerblader spun in slow circles on the sidewalk next to the beach. Murphy, who is fifty-three, is a stylish man, but on set he wore the middle-aged male showrunner’s uniform: baggy cargo shorts and a polo shirt. He has a rosebud mouth and close-cropped vanilla hair. He is five feet ten but has a brawny air of command, creating the illusion that he is much taller. His brother is six feet four, he told me, as was his late father; Murphy thinks that his own growth was stunted by chain-smoking when he was a rebellious teen-ager, in Indiana.

Murphy’s mood tends to shift unexpectedly, like a wonky thermostat—now warm, now icy—but on the “Versace” set he made one confident decision after another about the many shows he was overseeing, as if skipping stones. He also answered stray questions—about the casting for a Broadway revival of “The Boys in the Band” that he was producing, about a grand house in Los Angeles that he’d been renovating for two years. “Ooh, yes!” he said, inspecting penis-nosed clown masks that had been designed for his series “American Horror Story.” He approved a bespoke nail-polish design for an actress. A producer handed Murphy an updated script, joking, “If there’s a mistake, you can drown me in Versace’s pool!,” then scheduled a notes meeting for “American Crime Story: Katrina,” whose writers were working elsewhere in the building. Now and then, Murphy FaceTimed with his then four-year-old son, Logan, who, along with his two-year-old brother, Ford, was in L.A. with Murphy’s husband, David Miller.

“I never get overwhelmed or feel underwater, because I feel like all good things come from detail,” Murphy told me. It’s what got him to this point: the compulsion, and the craving, to do more. “Baroque is a sensibility I can get behind,” he said. “Baroque is a maximalist approach to storytelling that I’ve always liked. Baroque is a choice. And everything I do is an absolute choice.”

Murphy’s choices, perhaps more than those of any other showrunner, have upended the pieties of modern television. Like a wild guest at a dinner party, he’d lifted the table and slammed it back down, leaving the dishes broken or arranged in a new order. Several of Murphy’s shows have been critically divisive (and, on occasion, panned in ways that have raised his hackles). But he has produced an unusually long string of commercial and critical hits: audacious, funny-peculiar, joyfully destabilizing series, in nearly every genre. His run started with the satirical melodrama “Nip/Tuck” (2003), then continued with the global phenomenon “Glee” (2009) and with “American Horror Story,” now entering its eighth year, which launched the influential season-long anthology format. His legacy is not one standout show but, rather, the sheer force and variety and chutzpah of his creations, which are linked by a singular storytelling aesthetic: stylized extremity and rude humor, shock conjoined with sincerity, and serious themes wrapped in circus-bright packaging. He is the only television creator who could possibly have presented Lily Rabe as a Satan-possessed nun, gyrating in a red negligee in front of a crucifix while singing “You Don’t Own Me,” and have it come across as an indelible critique of the Catholic Church’s misogyny.

When Murphy entered the industry, he sometimes struck his peers as an aloof, prickly figure; he has deep wounds from those years, although he admits that he contributed to this reputation. Nonetheless, Murphy has moved steadily from the margins to television’s center. He changed; the industry changed; he changed the industry. In February, Murphy rose even higher, signing the largest deal in television history: a three-hundred-million-dollar, five-year contract with Netflix. For Murphy, it was a moment of both triumph and tension. You can’t be the underdog when you’re the most powerful man in TV.

On that sunny afternoon in South Beach, however, Murphy was still comfortably ensconced in a twelve-year deal with Fox Studios. On FX, which is owned by Fox, he had three anthology series: “American Horror Story”; “American Crime Story,” for which he was filming “Versace,” writing “Katrina,” and planning a season based on the Monica Lewinsky scandal; and “Feud,” whose first season starred Susan Sarandon as Bette Davis and Jessica Lange as Joan Crawford.

For Fox, he was developing “9-1-1,” a procedural about first responders. He had announced two shows for Netflix: “Ratched,” a nurse’s-eye view of “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest,” starring Sarah Paulson; and “The Politician,” a satirical drama starring Ben Platt. Glenn Close was trying to talk him into directing her in a movie version of the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical “Sunset Boulevard.” Murphy was writing a book called “Ladies,” about female icons. He had launched Half, a foundation dedicated to diversity in directing, and had committed to hiring half of his directors from underrepresented groups. And, he told me, there was something new: a series for FX called “Pose,” a dance-filled show set in the nineteen-eighties.

It was no mystery which character in his current series Murphy most identified with: Gianni Versace himself. Versace was a commercially minded artist whose brash inventions were dismissed by know-nothings as tacky, and whose openness about his sexuality threatened his ascent in a homophobic era. Versace, too, was a baroque maximalist, Murphy told me, who built his reputation through fervid workaholism—an insistence that his vision be seen and understood. “He was punished and he struggled,” Murphy said, then spoke in Versace’s voice: “Why aren’t I loved for my excess? Why don’t they see something valid in that?”

[...] Murphy has long been a connoisseur of extremes and hyperbole, games and theatricality. He rates everything he sees and revels in institutions that do the same—the Oscars are a kind of religion for him. In Miami, at dinner with the “Katrina” and “Versace” writers, he played a high-stakes game in which he was forced to immediately choose one person in his circle over another; he demurred only when the choice was between Jessica Lange and Sarah Paulson. His go-to question is “Is it a hit or a flop?,” and he asked it about every show that came up in conversation, as I observed him giving shape to “Pose,” from scouting locations to editing dance footage. (He has other stock phrases. “What’s the scoop?” is how he begins writers’ meetings. “Energy begets energy” explains his impulse to add new projects. “That’s interesting” sometimes indicates “That’s worth noticing” but just as often means “That’s infuriating.”)

[...] His multitasking benefits greatly from the freedoms of cable and streaming: he has zero nostalgia for the twenty-two-episode network grind of a show like “Glee,” in which “halfway through Episode 15 you had nothing left to say, the actors were sick, the writers were sick, and it was fucking oatmeal until the end.” He favors eight or ten episodes, often with a small writers’ room, as with “Pose.” He writes scripts for some shows, whereas for others he gives notes; on a few projects, like his HBO adaptation of Larry Kramer’s play “The Normal Heart,” he’s very hands-on. “We left blood on the dance floor,” Murphy said, affectionately, of his three-year collaboration with Kramer. “Versace” had one writer, Tom Rob Smith. But Murphy provided close directorial, design, and casting oversight, and he had a strong commitment to the show’s themes, particularly the contrast between Versace and Cunanan, two gay men craving success, but only one willing to work for it.

[...] In the meanwhile, Murphy had scored a ratings bonanza with Fox’s “9-1-1,” a wackadoo procedural featuring stories like one about a baby caught in a plumbing pipe. It was his parting gift to Dana Walden. “Versace” had been, by certain standards, a flop: lower ratings, mixed reviews. Artistically, though, it was one of Murphy’s boldest shows, with a backward chronology and a moving performance by Criss as Cunanan, a panicked dandy hollowed out by self-hatred. After the finale aired, a new set of reviews emerged. Matt Brennan, on Paste, argued that “Versace” had been subjected to “the straight glance”—a critical gaze that skims queer art, denying its depths. “Even critics sympathetic to the series seem as uncomfortable with its central subject as the Miami cops were with those South Beach fags,” Brennan wrote. Murphy was reading a new oral history of Tony Kushner’s “Angels in America,” in which, in one scene, Roy Cohn denies being gay because, he barks, homosexuals lack power: they are “men who know nobody and who nobody knows.” The line echoes one in “Versace.” A homeless junkie dying of aids tells the cops, bitterly, why gay men couldn’t stop talking about the designer: “We all imagined what it would be like to be so rich and so powerful that it doesn’t matter that you’re gay.”

[thotyssey]

On Point With: Cissy Walken

A rising star in the NYC drag scene, this vivacious queen sings, dances and makes us laugh. But pretty soon, she’ll be paying homage onstage to one of pop music’s most tragic figures. Thotyssey takes a hike with the fascinating Cissy Walken!

Thotyssey: Cissy, hello! Happy DragCon week! Will you be present at the Javits this weekend?

Cissy Walken: Hello hello! Yes, I will be! I’m working for Headcount.org on Saturday, getting people to register to vote and become more involved in their local elections.

OMG, you’re actually going to be doing something for the good of humanity and not just self-promoting! Have you found yourself being more politically aware / active in the past year, especially as a drag queen?

You know, yes and no. I think when I first started drag, I really wanted to be a political queen who cares about our dying planet. And I first started out with that focus at heart; it’s what made me create my Celine Dion mix. But recently, I think I’ve gotten really wrapped up in the throws of it all: make a mix, do shows, turn the party, get your coin. And while I love doing shows, I think its time to go back to Cissy The Politician.

Speaking of mixes, congrats on winning last week’s Open Call--the new weekly drag competition that Maddelynn Hatter hosts at the Ritz--with a particularly deft and funny one! You had live singing, lip sync, kooky choreo... and you totally dropped and smashed the mic, but you did it in a pretty seamless way and never stopped being entertaining while Maddelynn repaired it and handed it back to you!

Haha, oh yes! Thank you for that. I always try to remind myself to not drop the mic, but that night I didn't actively do that... which is why it probably fell. But the show must go on, and there was no way I was gonna stop the DJ. We drag performers work so hard to just get to that one moment in the night where we can perform, and I wasn't about to let a mishap ruin that for me. I'll always keep singing!

Rockstar! So, where’s your hometown... and were you always a performer of some sort?

I'm from a small town in the middle of New Jersey called Hillsborough. It's cute, but I had to get out. I didn't know it at the time, but I was really in search of a gay community that matches me. 

And it was there that I first started performing. When I was 3, I gave my family Shania Twain shows off her Come On Over album. And then in middle school, when I made the decision that sports would never work for me, I tried out for the school play and got the bug!

Do you have a favorite musical?

West Side Story. It's the ultimate musical (sorry, R&H junkies).

How then did the drag bug bite you?

So I was a good kid, and didn't go to the bars until I was 21. I had just moved to Astoria, and my roommate started talking about Drag Race, and so we would watch a few episodes... and of course, Gay Gay Me gagged over it. But then I started looking for drag shows around me, and I saw this queen was having a show in my neighborhood. So I stumbled into this dive bar; I wasn't carded (which to me is like... well, damn, I could have done this sooner), and Sutton Lee Seymour began her show. 

And as I watched her sing and tell jokes and stories, I started to realize, "Hey I can do this." As a young actor, I kept feeling like I never had the skill set needed to succeed in the business. And that was only partly true; I did get work, and I did a fair amount of shows for the amount of time I spent working. But I saw my potential in drag--I love music sung by women, I love clothing and costuming, and I love to create a rapport with my audience.

How did you begin performing as Cissy?

Well, first I went out in drag without performing, once. But I was like, "yeah, I might look beat, but I really want to get on that stage." I went to Look Queen one night because my bestie and I love to dance at the Monster, and did the thing. It wasn't great by any means, but totally a learning experience. And quickly, I started to hear from other girls that I should do this open stage and this contest. So I showed up. And when I didn't do well, all I could hear from more experienced queens was, “keep showing up.”

So for the first few months, I kept doing that until working three jobs and showing up to midnight contests got the best of me, and I revisited what was possible for me. But it was never a question as to whether performing was right for me. I just began to shape my life around my dreams as a performer instead of the other way around.

You remind me a little bit of Gilda Wabbit: you have similar looks, you're both singers and you both have this kind of feral energy... have you heard that comparison before?

All the time. It also didn't help that we were both Astoria girls at the same time. But whereas some girls would get threatened by someone similar looking with similar goals, she has always been kind and accepting towards me. She refers to me as "the dollar store Gilda Wabbit," which I hold close to my heart.

Ha! Well, you're definitely creating a different look for yourself. When I last saw you, you had a very exaggerated lip... and I understand that crazy nails are trademark of yours?

Well. I love nails but I don't wear them all the time for a couple reasons. If I have a reveal, then my talons don't work best for me because I'll lose them. The other reason is because most of my sets are all busted. But I'm not gonna throw out usable product, so I figure it out! Now as for my makeup, I definitely thought I painted my lips a little too big that night. But I've been pushing myself with my makeup to take risks and learn from them. And actually, since that night I've already learned new things about application and my own anatomy that are making my process easier with better results.

You recently competed in the first season of Iconic, a new drag competition that had several weekly preliminary rounds Icon. The competition seemed VERY challenging, I must say. How did you enjoy / survive the experience?

Well, I survived! It was very challenging, and I enjoyed the challenge overall... even if it has left me exhausted. There were moments from the show I really enjoyed, one specifically at the finale when the audience showed their love for a number about my Nonna. 

Ultimately, I did have a lot on my plate this summer. What kept me sane during it all was knowing that no matter what I was doing at one show, I had something else going on at another show.

That is comforting! So where can we find you in the next few weeks, before the big show?

I'm back at The Ritz on Friday [for the paid booking at Open Call that was won last week]. And I'm with Heidi Haux at The Duplex on October 10. But really, I'm putting all my time on this [upcoming] show right now.

Let’s talk about this show! First of all, tell us about your relationship with Amy Winehouse's music. Were you always a fan?

I first got into her when she became a mega star from "Rehab." I remember coming home from school (before I did theater) and watching TRL. “Rehab” was the number 1 video for so long that by time they got to it, they would only play, like, 15 seconds of it because we all had heard it so much. I listened to her album, but didn't (and couldn't) understand it as a single, social, sober kid. And I think the community I came from pushed aside her work because of her drinking problems. 

But I got back into her albums in college, after she died. And everything changed from there. The Lioness became the album I immediately associate with my first fall in New York. I would listen to her cover of "A Song For You" and had no idea WHAT those words were, but I still got every bit of the story. Here I am, this kid in a big city and her music spoke to the loneliness I felt.

So putting together a stage tribute to her must be a very cathartic and emotional process. How did the idea for Back to Life come about?

Well, it started with my original Amy number. I figured out a way to tell a story through her own music. And as I continued to dig into her own music, I saw how her experience informed the music, and her stories became so relatable to my own stories. So her music needs to keep being performed, so others who respond to it like I do have an outlet for it. Her story needs to be retold so that she doesn't rest as "The Addict" or her father's most cherished love... because her life and death were treated terribly. She needs to reign victorious, even if that's in her afterlife.

Well said! You will star in Back to Life at the Laurie Beechman Theatre on October 12th and November 9th. What can we expect from that show? Will you actually be playing Amy as you sing her songs?

You can expect that I will play Amy, but not for the entire show. We're working on mechanisms to help switch between Cissy and Amy, because I do want moments of third person narrative where I can relate her songs back to my own experience.

But I'll be singing everything! And I'll be doing the numbers I already do, plus a bunch of new ones. Which is pretty daunting to learn in such a short time, but such a great challenge and opportunity.

Sounds like we're in for a stellar showcase! Is there anything else that needs to be mentioned about it?

Something I need to say, just because this is my first time publicly talking about Amy, is that I hope people who knew her know that I do this act from a place of love and respect. She is one of my greatest inspirations, and I'd hate for her family to ever feel I maligned their loved one.

I think her family would be proud! Okay, final question: what will you be for Halloween this year?

High and drunk. If not, working.

We’ll see you out there one way or the other! Thanks, Cissy!

Check Thotyssey’s calendar for Cissy Walken’s upcoming appearances, and follow her on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

On Point Archives

[sloumate]

hi! what are your favorite famous/nonfamous fics? also looking for some ANGST filled ones! the angstier the better! thank you

Hello! Hopefully, you’ll like these (there’s a fair mix of angst levels):

Famous Harry x Non-famous Louis

Fall Into Your Gravity by zarah5: AU. In which Harry is an overnight pop sensation and Louis steals plants, Zayn pulls Liam’s proverbial pigtails and Niall’s really just pleased there are more girls for him.

California Sold by isthatyoularry: Notoriously closeted boyband member Harry Styles is famous on a global scale, meanwhile Louis, as his best friend, is back home in Manchester, living the typical life of a 24 year old. When Harry needs Louis with him in LA, a publicity stunt gone wrong changes their friendship forever.

Turning Page by purpledaisy: Harry Styles tries to get lost in a place he’s never been.  Louis Tomlinson has been perfecting the art of being lost for years. What they don’t expect to find is each other. 

Tangled up in you by missandrogyny: Niall gets Harry a professional cuddler.

Roots by cherrystreet: There aren’t many things that make Harry Styles nervous. He’s spent the past couple of years on and off various stages, filled with screaming fans, all chanting his name, loud and adoring. He’s done countless interviews, some even on live, national television, never faltering over his words, answers meticulously planned out, smooth and steady. He’s signed countless autographs, taken just as many photos, and even when he sat in his label’s studio, waiting to see how high up on the charts his single made it, he didn’t feel uneasy or uncomfortable. It’s all been unbelievably fun. No, there aren’t many things that make Harry Styles nervous. Enter Louis Tomlinson.

Things gone cold by MediaWhore: With his soulmate’s thoughts about him written on his skin and the world’s eyes trailing his every movement, Harry Styles is having a bit of a rough time releasing his second album in peace. And that’s not even counting the breakup. Or the car crash.

Here, There, and Everywhere by harioandlouigi: Louis was in a rut. He was still living in the same small Texas town he’d hated all his life, he was about to graduate with a degree he’d never been interested in, and he was hooking up with a guy he didn’t even like just because it was probably his only chance to be with another man. And then someone else’s overindulgences triggered a series of events that lead to where Louis is now, touring the world as a roadie for Harry Styles.

Up To No Good by whoknows: Harry doesn’t think of himself as a womanizer, not at all. Sure, he enjoys sex, enjoys how women feel underneath him, and by some people’s standards he has sex with quite a lot of people, but that’s no reason to tell him that he can’t have a female PA anymore.It’s especially no excuse for giving him a male PA who’s possibly the most gorgeous boy in the world who won’t even let Harry look at him for too long.Sometimes Harry hates his life. (Part 2, Part 3)

Led by your beating heart by missandrogyny: AU where Harry’s in One Direction, Louis isn’t, and they reconnect over a game of ‘Call or Delete’.

My English Love Affair by isthatyoularry: The thing about sleeping with a member of a famous indie band is that the inevitability of having a song written about you is most likely a hundred percent. The second thing is that in the end, nobody’s supposed to find out it’s about you. Or, the one where Harry writes a song about his English love affair and Louis sleeps with someone in White Eskimo and all he gets is a stupid song written about him.

Dream Awake by protagonist_m: On a hazy day in August, Louis sees Harry perform at a music festival as an unsigned act and convinces him to spend the rest of the weekend in his company. Harry gets signed; life changes. They never really wake up from the dream.

Somewhere only we know by bethaboo: Personal assistant Louis knows something is up with his best friend and employer Harry. And it’s not just his big tour coming up or the ever-increasing womanizing rumors about the popstar. To get to the bottom of Harry’s moodiness, Louis decides he has to kidnap him and take him on a roadtrip up the California coast to Portland.

Famous Louis x Non-famous Harry

Pull Me Under by zarah5: AU. As the first British footballer to come out at the prime of his career, it helps that Louis Tomlinson is in a long-term, committed relationship. Even if that relationship is fake. (Featuring Niall as Louis’ favourite teammate, Liam as Louis’ agent, and Zayn as Liam’s boyfriend, who just happens to be good friends with one Harry Styles.)

Way in the World by flowsque: the one where Harry has a knee injury and an embarrassing crush on Manchester United’s pretty number ten.

As You Are by zarah5: AU. Five years after The X Factor launched his career as a radio host and songwriter, Louis Tomlinson returns as a judge. Falling for a contestant is the last thing he needs. It’s also against his contract. The only reason Harry auditions for The X Factor is because his best mate signed the two of them up as some kind of joke. Harry doesn’t get the big deal—not until he’s faced with this season’s judges and realises that one of them used to be his desperate, impossible teenage crush.

Sing When You’re Winning by hazmesentir: the one where Harry’s a chronically underpaid magazine intern and Louis is the Premier League’s first gay footballer and pretty much the last thing they need is each other.

A Thousand Miles From Comfort by littlelouishiccups:  In which Louis is a closeted gay actor and a recovering addict with a troubled past. Harry is the personal trainer who helps him get his life back in shape.

The One Where Harry Really Doesn’t Have Ten Cats by LoadedGunn: the AU where Harry is a pet-sitter for the rich and famous, and Louis is rich and famous.

Where I Belong by hopeneverdies: Harry Styles is an introverted director of a small nature reserve in Norfolk County, England. Louis Tomlinson is an Emmy winning wildlife documentary filmmaker with a bad boy reputation. When Louis arrives at Harry’s reserve in search of a new project, and a new path in life, Harry is less than thrilled. Yet, the two men realize that working together may benefit them both, especially when the future of the reserve is threatened by a large corporation and its powerful CEO.

[gregorsamsadementiaravenway]

Stray notes after watching The Last Jedi

Or: why does this movie just keep getting worse whenever I remember it?

The notes are after the cut just in case someone hasn’t seen the film yet or doesn’t want a long ass bullet point post in their dash. Some of them are serious and well thought-out, some are nitpicky and some are there just for the heck of it.

“Let the past die. Kill it if you have to.” - Why, that’s just peachy, Rian! Too bad the future your selling is a little shit.

In general, Rian Johnson doesn’t seem to have much respect for the past. See tathrin’s post about all the things established in TFA that were turned upside down in this film, but I think Johnson doesn’t have much consideration for the original trilogy either, reducing Chewbacca to a background character and trying to replace “May the Force be with you” with some other, less inspired line.

Seriously, why are they saying “Godspeed”? Did monotheism reach a galaxy far, far away and they now, suddenly, have a notion of God? And, while were at it, why is “treacherous snake” a thing, now? Are there snakes in the Star Was universe? ‘Cause, so far, all animals have been on the fantastic side of things. What else is there? Do they have kittens??? That’s an important question...

The movie had A LOT of hamfisted comic relief. Of course there were some honestly funny scenes (I will forever laugh at Rey feeling the Force with her hand), but most of the jokes felt very out of place. For instance, the first scene, with Hux and Poe. I laughed my ass off at that interaction, but that’s an SNL sketch, not a Star Wars scene. I was half expecting Matt, the radar technician, to show up.

Seriously, someone should tell Rian Johnson that he isn’t directing Guardians of the Galaxy. In more than one scene, the excess of jokes killed what should’ve a truly great, emotional moment.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how much indifference do I feel towards porgs?

The ammount of queerbaiting that went into promoting this film was insane. Look, actors on franchises like this one have media training, so whenever, say, Oscar Isaac ran his mouth about the possibility of Finn/Poe being canon, he was at least authorized by Disney to do so (worst case scenario, he was instructed to sell this narrative). I didn’t particularly care about the ship and I think Poe Dameron could’ve died in TFA without any harm to the franchise, but to hamfist that non-sensical romance between Finn and Rose after feeding the fans’ hopes for a gay pairing was, in my opinion, downright cruel.

And don’t even get me started on Poe and Rey’s meaningful gaze at the end of the film, with Poe going all “I know” as if he’s Han Solo or some hot shit like that! Poe/Rey is the worst possible ship to become canon. Yes, the worst. Yes, you heard me, worse than Reylo.

Speaking of Reylo: after TFA, I said that I low-key shipped them ‘cause that’s the kind of fucked up ship I like. Look, there are people in this website who like to wear diapers and want to fuck Pennywise, so, screw you, I’m not apologizing for wanting to read fics about a fictional pairing made up of two adults. HOWEVER, this is not the sort of thing I want to be canon. From the get go, my opinion on Rey’s official love life has been “either she ends up with Finn or she ends up alone”. That being said, I think they handled the relationship between her and Kylo Ren very well in this film. I’m glad they didn’t deny the fucked up sexual tension that was going on there, especially coming from Ren’s side, and chose to play into it. A failed redemption arc fits them perfectly and Kylo Ren’s “please” when he asks Rey to rule beside him was a great moment for the character and one of the few truly emotional moments of the film.

But that thing were they get to hit on each other through the Force, sharing sad stories and touching hands? Yeah, I’m pretty certain I’ve read that fic. Actually, I’m pretty certain I’ve read about three fics like that.

Let’s keep on the Kylo Ren track for now, then: he did get some very nice character development in this film. The Last Jedi was more his than any other character’s, even Luke. For a minute there, before the movie came out, I thought they were going to make some changes to him due to the whole backlash, but they went full “overgrown angsty kid” with him in a way that actually made him more compelling. I like the way Luke’s fear ended up pushing a conflicted teenager into the Dark Side and that Kylo is still very much stuck at that moment. As usual with Sith and Sith by-products, Kylo Ren is moved by anger, and his anger feels much more real after this little bit of backstory.

Who is Snoke, though? Are they going to explain that in the next movie? It feels like they should’ve done it in this one, but I hope they at least give him some context before the trilogy is over.

Sooooo... Did your conflicted antagonist cladded in black, with black hair falling all over his face, just trick his bald, deformed Dark Lord by using his occlumency powers? *Owen Wilson voice* Wow.

“The Supreme Leader is dead. Long live the Supreme Leader.” - A perfect example of a really amazing moment botched by comic relief, ie, Snoke’s little tongue falling out of his dead body.

After the film ended, @robogigante​​ complained a lot about Hux’s transformation from an actual, threatening villan into a punchline, and, you know what? He’s right. There’s a scene there that looks like a Bugs Bunny cartoon.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do I hate evil, square-headed BB-8?

I’m sort of glad Rey’s parents aren’t anyone important. Star Wars relies too much on heritage and it’s a nice change having a hero who isn’t Space Jesus or Space Jesus’ direct lineage. Her scene in the cave was incredibly beautiful.

They did point to something else in TFA, though, implying heavily that her origin was important and that Kylo Ren already knew about her. That was some Moffat level of badly written plot twist right there.

There’s something Emma Watson-y about Daisy Ridley. This is neither a compliment nor a complaint, just something I hadn’t noticed before.

Both Daisy Ridley and Adam Driver grew a lot as actors since the last movie, especially Driver. Even though it’s still hard to take Kylo Ren seriously sometimes due to Driver’s cry-baby face, he’s way more convincing in his rage and intensity than he was in TFA, where his acting felt a little too mechanical.

However, some of the other actors aren’t living up to their potential. John Boyega’s charisma is extremely underused and I know for a fact that Domnhall Gleeson can do a lot better than what he was given here. In a couple of scenes, even Hamill and Fisher seemed a little uncomfortable in their roles.

“Shit, we’ve already signed Lupita’s check! Gotta shove her in here, somewhere!” - I’m so sorry, honey. You are so beautiful and talented... You deserved way better than that.

Kelly Marie Tran is adorable and I absolutely love her in interviews and such. She seems like a delightful person. However, her character was completely unnecessary. Her only purpose was to serve as a future love interest to Finn, and I’ve made my thoughts about that pairing quite clear already.

“...it’s saving the ones we love...” - BITCH, YOU’VE KNOWN HIM FOR WHAT? A DAY?

As a matter of fact, all of that storyline felt completely unnecessary. It was as if the writers didn’t know what to do with Finn so they gave him a spunky sidekick and a pointless mission just to kill time. I found myself wishing he had spent the whole movie in a coma, and that’s really sad, because I really like John Boyega and was hoping he would become a strong protagonist for the franchise.

Another thing @robogigante​ pointed out (and I’m quoting him ‘cause I know he’s not making a post of his own) is that Holdo had no reason whatsoever to hide her plan from Poe or anyone else in the Resistance. She just... didn’t like Poe Dameron that much...

Excessive jokes aside, casino planet was okay and helped flesh out the Star Wars universe a little bit more. However, much like Phasma, Benicio Del Toro’s character (whose name I already forgot) was just another Boba Fett, all flash and no substance, and I particularly hate that “squeaky clean abused little children representing hope” crap. It’s one of the tackiest tropes in existence.

I did get the feeling that that kid is going to join the Resistance on the next movie. Like they’re going to do a ten year jump to justify Leia’s disappearance/death. It would also help the Rebels to get their shit back together, Kylo Ren to gain more control over the First Order and Rey to learn some more about the Force in order to meet her fate. The existence of that child is still horrible and that ending was so over the top I can’t even put it into words, but it’s a good hook for a leap that, if handled well, could be very good for the story.

I also got the feeling that they originally inteded to kill one member of the original trio per film. That would’ve been cool. Too bad Leia will have to die off screen.

Was it just me or is the timeline in this movie really weird? Poe’s plan seems to take place entirely in a day, maybe two, while Rey apparently spends at least a week in Luke’s island.

I’m glad Carrie Fisher got to have at least one badass Force user scene before dying. Her flight among the debris of the Rebel cruiser was a beautiful reminder of how powerful the Force can be, on par with Luke’s astral projection, not to mention a gorgeous scene in its own right.

Holdo and Leia definitely had a torrid love affair after the Organa-Solo divorce came through. No one will ever convince me otherwise.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do I love the crystal foxes?

There was a preoccupying absence of wipe transitions and epic soundtrack inserts. Actually, I don’t even remember hearing any music at all. The editing was way too conservative. It didn’t even feel like a Star Wars movie, sometimes.

How is it possible that The Force Awakens was basically a remake of A New Hope and still felt more daring that The Last Jedi? Look, we already know you’re not killing any of the characters ‘cause they have to come back for the next installment, but raise those stakes a little bit, jeez! Give Kylo Ren and Snoke more conflict before their face-off, give Rey an opportunity to actually scare Luke with something that matters, give Finn and Poe a mission that actually means something to the Resistance, not a MacGuffin to keep them busy... Anything!

The Last Jedi is actually an okay-ish movie, to be honest, but, in a way, I think I disliked it even more than the prequels. Sure, The Phantom Menace is objectively a much worse film, but at least it had soul. George Lucas’ midichlorian and CGI packed soul, but soul nonetheless. The Last Jedi has nothing. I know Star Wars movies are all about the money, let’s not delude ourselves that this is in anyway high art, but this one just felt like the biggest money grabber of all. There is no personal investment in it whatsoever and no sign of what makes Star Wars Star Wars in the first place.

When’s Lando coming back?

BONUS: I am never watching a fucking 3D movie again in my life. The background always seems out of focus, it’s too expensive and I hate putting glasses on top of my glasses. I don’t care if I have to wait a month to watch the next Star Wars, I don’t care if I get spoilers, I’m not watching anything in 3D ever again.

[lauralot89]

I saw IT and now you guys are gonna hear about it

Spoilers and warnings below the cut

It contained neither the scene of the preteen sewer orgy nor the scene wherein one sociopathic bully kid starts to jerk another sociopathic bully kid off, which I expected but man would it have been worth it to see how bad Tumblr lost its shit

Of course it did a convenient fade to black at the part where the orgy would have happened and the credits confirm that this is just Chapter One so it’s entirely possible the sequel could show it or allude to it

There is no post credit scene (the appear of the Chapter One subtitle was the big reveal) but if you sit through the credits (which I did not because I had to piss like a racehorse) you’ll hear Pennywise giggle at the end

So if you have problems with implied child sexual abuse, blood, vomiting, disease, burn wounds, sadistic bullying with no intervention from adults, and physical abuse of children by their parents, child death, mouths with rows of teeth like a shark or lamprey, and of course CLOWNS, you’ll probably want to be wary about seeing this

So there’s also an instance of farm animal slaughter with blood spray, another slaughter where it happens off screen, and a cat is threatened with a gun but survives without injury

It does not contain the racist and homophobic hate crimes from the book, though the former is mentioned

That little kid from Stranger Things did great

All of the kids were great and I never want to see a terrible child actor in a film again when we know talent like this exists

THE NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK POSTER REVEAL WITH THE DRAMATIC CLOSEUPS AND THE MUSICAL STINGS WAS LOVELY

Georgie having circus wallpaper in his bedroom was a nice sadistic little touch

Okay so everyone who comments on Skarsgård’s performance as Pennywise will inevitably compare him to Ledger’s Joker because what the hell else is gonna come to mind when you see a deep-voiced evil clown with an exaggerated grotesque smile who Kubrick stares into the camera all the time but Penny is his own thing and Skarsgård played him very well

Like I saw the sewer drain scene in the preview and was all AIN’T NOBODY GONNA TRUST THAT but in the film itself if you can ignore the fact that Penny sounds like something from the depths of hell then he actually plays it like a normal clown for most of the scene (he got me to smile, although admittedly I am one of the rare people who genuinely likes clowns and also I like creepy stuff) and only gets creepy right at the end, and even then Georgie is clearly not okay with him and only sticks around because when you’re like four you don’t say no to grown-ups

I feel like the scares continued on too long for the most part.  There’s a totally BRILLIANT scene involving a slide show and I think it would have been perfect if it just ended with the slide of nothing, but it went on for another thirty seconds and lost me

There are also a lot of jump scares but they did build up a good enough atmosphere to earn them

On the whole, the movie didn’t scare me but I don’t judge horror movies solely on that and I thought it was good and I fully recommend it

Though with that said the pacing was wonky in the first half, there were a lot of scenes that were just CREEPY EVENT followed by OTHER CREEPY EVENT but it got better once they decided to fight the monster and even before that they were still all good scenes

I thought Patrick’s death was scarier in the book but I can see why they didn’t add FLYING LEECHES out of nowhere

Skarsgård is at his best in this role when he’s playing around like a real clown would, pretending to bite Eddie and contorting around and joking (mean-spiritedly, granted) at the kids’ attempts to fight him.  I think he’s much more effective there than when he’s more of a monster.

I don’t know if it was meant to be, but DAMN is Penny’s dancing hilarious

It’s been like ten years since I read the book, but weren’t the bullies about the same age as the Losers’ Club?  Here it’s a bunch of fifteen and sixteen year olds (who look like twenty year olds) beating up on some preteens and why

also I can’t remember if “you float too” was used as a repeated phrase in the book (I know King loves his arc words) but it’s just used all the time in this movie and I’m like STOP TRYING TO MAKE FLOAT HAPPEN

Finally the bathroom drain scene was great

[therealkn]

David’s Resolution - Day 13

Day 13 (January 13, 2019)

Master of the House (1925)

“THOU SHALT HONOR THY WIFE!”

Fair warning, but this review has some more colorful language than usual. There is a reason why, but yeah.

Anyway.

Master of the House (or Du skal ære din hustru) is considered another classic film from Carl Theodor Dreyer, who did another film I watched and reviewed for this resolution: 1928′s The Passion of Joan of Arc, which was an excellent film. So I decided “You know what, I have two other Dreyer films, let’s go through them.” Next review is another Dreyer film, probably his other most well-known film.

The film, adapted from Svend Rindom’s play “The Tyrant’s Fall”, is a domestic comedy taking place in a city apartment occupied by the Frandsens. The Frandsens are Viktor (Johannes Meyer, who looks a lot like Christopher Plummer), his wife Ida (Astrid Holm, previously the Salvation Army Sister Edit in Victor Sjöström’s The Phantom Carriage, which is another silent film I recommend), and their three children. Ida is a distraught and overworked housewife who spends practically every waking second of her day and night doing everything for her family: laundry, cooking, cleaning, mending, minding the kids, the whole nine yards as my dad would say. Fortunately, she has Mads - pronounced “Mess” and played by Mathilde Nielsen, reprising her role from the stage play - to help her out and share the workload. Mads is an old family friend who was once Viktor’s nanny when he was a kid, and 

And speaking of dads, Viktor is not a great one. Calling him an asshole is being polite. I mentioned his actor’s resemblance to Christopher Plummer and now that I think about it, Viktor is like if, during the production of The Sound of Music, Plummer was replaced with his mirror universe self and played his character as this atrocious shitlord and then everyone said “...Screw it, just roll with it.” because he looked like he would kill you if you disagreed with him. ...You know what. Normally I don’t go too into detail about specific scenes in the movie, because I’m lazy and also because I don’t want to spoil too much, but for this occasion, I’m gonna walk you through the beginning of the film. Because you should know how much of a cockbag Viktor is. You need to feel the hate and let it flow into you.

The film begins with Ida going through a busy morning while her husband sleeps. She gets the stove running, mends a button on her son’s suspenders, and gets breakfast ready, and all the while their daughter Karen (Karin Nellemose) helps out in the kitchen. Ida wakes her husband, who asks where his slippers are once he’s sitting up in bed... and Karen gets them out from the bedside drawer. Why they don’t just tell the lazy shit to look in the drawer, I don’t know. Ida starts hanging laundry, then she and Karen get breakfast ready. Once Victor gets his ass out of bed and sits at the table, he’s immediately upset because “God knows how often I have told you that the coffee must be on the table when I enter in the morning!” Some of you may want to stab him just for saying that, and I feel you there.

Oh, but it’s not over yet. He then complains about a hole in his shoe (go fix it yourself or take it to the cobbler, fuck-bucket), then complains about not having a spoon to stir his coffee (get the fucking spoon yourself, you lazy shitbird), and then wants more butter on his bread. Going off on a tangent for a bit, but the amount of butter on his bread is ridiculous. He wants so much butter on his bread that it’s spread more like cake frosting than butter. Who puts that much butter on bread, or anything for that matter? Insert your own Paula Deen joke here, I don’t have one for you. But is having that much butter on bread a Danish thing? Because I’m from a country that is famous for its unhealthy eating habits, and looking at this makes me ill.

And we’re still going. So his wife literally scrapes the extra butter off everyone else’s bread so that this dickhead can be happy, with him remarking “So, you had some stashed out there!” He groans that Ida’s apparently more concerned with her birds than him, asks if his coat was brushed (it wasn’t until after he said it), and all with this look that says, “I am so disappointed in all of you.” And as he leaves to go to wherever, he sees Mads coming over and goes “Oh, are we having you today!” and I wanted to stab this motherfucker so goddamn badly that you have no idea.

And that is just the beginning. The tyranny from the assholiest of holies only keeps going, and it gets worse if you can believe it. And throughout all of this, the family is doing the best they can to appease him, like he’s the center of their lives. Calling him an asshole is an understatement; it’s why I’m using more colorful language to describe him. At one point I actually went “Honey, just grab a knife, hold it to his dick, and tell him that if he doesn’t straighten up real quick, Little Mister Happy will go missing. Trust me, you threaten a guy’s junk with a knife and they will listen!” And finally it gets to the point that after both Mads and his mother-in-law show up, he demands that either they leave or he does. So Mads decides that it’s time to teach the prick a lesson by having Ida sent away to the countryside while she asserts dominance in the house, forcing Victor to assume many of the tasks that his wife had to do and that he took for granted. And my God, is the catharsis of seeing him humbled so delicious. If you feel like cackling evilly as this happens, trust me, I do not blame you.

And as I watched all of this unfold, as Viktor established himself as the shitlord that he is, I remarked that this would never happen in my house because if my dad even thought of acting like that, my mom would chew his ass out. Or stab him. Or shoot him. Or chew him out, then stab him, then shoot him. I want to state for the record that I am not serious and this is just a joke, as my mom and dad are wonderful people who love each other very much and have been happily married for over 30 years. Furthermore, they have never tried to kill each other. To my knowledge. (That last part is also a joke. They’ve never tried to kill each other and would never.) What I’m trying to say is that my mom is not the kind of person who would suffer this lightly, and she would not let that shit happen.

But yeah, that’s the big message of the movie. It’s not subtle, it’s not alluded to, it’s Dreyer deciding “Fuck subtlety” and he puts it there, black and white, clear and crystal. “Don’t be a dick to your family. Don’t take what they do for granted. Honor your spouse and be good to them.” And the way it’s done is just great, as it’s treated with some lightness and humor, but at the same time you really see Viktor go through this very fulfilling character development as he realizes what exactly his wife goes through for his sake and his family’s sake and realizing how much of a bastard he’s been. The last act of the film is beautiful and has such great acting, you really need to see it for yourself.

This was a really good movie, and I would recommend you all watch it. I think you should know that if I see any silent movies, I will recommend them to everyone. Silent movies are awesome.

Next time: A walking waking nightmare.