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lallemanting · 4 years

Note

i was just rereading “whatever makes you feel the sun, chase that” because i love it SO MUCH and i would be forever indebted to you if you wrote a tiny thing about lucas and eliott traveling after they get on the train together

my darling anon! thank you so much for this sweet message and request 💛💛 I honestly had no intention of returning to this version of Lucas and Eliott but then I got this request for a “tiny” thing about their trip and wrote nearly 7k words so…whoops? I really hope you enjoy!!

part 2 of whatever makes you feel the sun (chase that) // also on ao3 here!

Lucas leans back against the rough material of the train seat and just looks. He allows himself that, as Eliott sleeps lightly next to him, because he hasn’t really before.

Every look has been plagued by fear, deep and unyielding, the kind that arrests your heart and makes each beat painful. The kind that was sent away, if only briefly, by a pair of stormy eyes and a sweet voice. Eliott.

It feels a bit like breaking out of the water after holding your breath for too long. Lungs burning, heart racing, a panic sitting there, beneath the skin, that fades as the air hits your face and the water drips away and there’s oxygen ready to gasped in, ready to fill your lungs again.

It’s almost drowning, but being saved at the last second. It’s learning to breathe again.

Eliott’s eyes are closed and his mouth is hanging open, just a little, as the sunlight fights its way past the built-in shades the people in the seats in front of them have pulled down. The light casts over him making lines on his t-shirt and his hair is messy, mussed from being pressed against the headrest of a train seat. But he’s beautiful all the same.

He’s beautiful, really, in the kind of way that makes people look twice (Lucas certainly did). The kind of beauty that’s intimidating at first, that left Lucas reeling when he reached for him in that club, when he said he remembered Lucas of all people, just from a glance on the beach.

But it was his smile, the disarming way he laughed, the light that seemed to shine even when in complete darkness that sent Lucas chasing after him.

Eliott shifts in his sleep, his head falling onto Lucas’ shoulder and Lucas smiles, wide, as his heart hiccups in his chest. He turns his face to press a soft kiss to Eliott’s forehead and lets him sleep on.

Lucas’ phone buzzes a few times in his pocket and he pulls it out to see several texts in his group chat.

Le gang

Yann

hey lulu, you okay? haven’t heard from you in a few hours

assuming you found your man

or I was right about the serial killer thing

but just know if you don’t respond soon I’m going to have to call the police and tell them to start looking for a handsomeman named eliott

Lucas

why do you assume he’s handsome

Arthur

He speaks!

Yann

I have faith in your taste bro

so I assume that means you found him?

Lucas

I found him

Arthur

And you’re with him now?

Lucas

on our way to amsterdam

Basile

👎👎👎

Yann

whoa bas

why are you thumbs-downing our boy?

Arthur

more like 🥳🥂🍆💦❤️🌈

Lucas

arthur wtf lol

Basile

im not thumbs-downing our boy

i just still think it’s unfair that i was the one who was supposed to get with someone this trip

and lucas got someone instead

Lucas

sounds like jealousy to me

Yann

Bas shut up

Arthur

Yeah Bas shut up

Also Lucas do you really need me to spell out those emojis for you?

Lucas

no I got it lol

Yann

point is we’re happy for you

even bas

Lucas

even bas?

Basile

Fine yeah

even bas

🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈

Arthur

that’s the spirit

🌈🌈🌈

Yann

🌈🌈🌈

Lucas

you guys are dumb

but thank you

really

Yann

you don’t need to thank us lu

we love you

Arthur

We do!

Basile

we do

Yann

now get back to your man

Lucas

love you guys too

It’s after lunch now, and Lucas can feel his stomach protesting as the only thing he’s had to eat so far that day is a croissant Eliott had bought him at the train station while they waited for the next train. They’re headed to Amsterdam still, since Eliott’s got a friend, who he’d told Lucas was also apparently named Lucas, that’s letting them crash in his and his boyfriend’s apartment while they’re on their own trip to Spain. They’d transferred an hour or so ago from a smaller, suburban train to this larger one that will take them all the way to Amsterdam.

Lucas thinks they’re probably nearing Brussels, one of the major stops before Amsterdam, and he finds himself wondering if Eliott is the kind of person who wakes when moving vehicles come to stop, even if just for a moment. There’s so much still that Lucas has to learn about him. And yet, this right now, is the closest he’s ever felt to trust, to being his whole self. Lucas’ stomach growls again, but Eliott shifts once more, his head nestling even closer in the crook of Lucas’ neck, and Lucas knows he won’t be going anywhere until Eliott wakes.

It’s a few hours, and stops later (it turns out Eliott is very much not the person who wakes up every time the train reaches a new station), when they finally reach Amsterdam. It’s late afternoon, nearing evening, when they step out of the station and into the sun, and Lucas feels his lungs expand as he breathes, really breathes, in the new air. His chest feels light, still unaccustomed to not feeling as though he’s been dragging around a weight in the form of a secret. A lightness in freedom.

He flinches slightly, as Eliott takes his hand, but it’s muscle memory, desire that’s been told for so long to quiet down and hide away that it feels uncomfortable at first to let it be seen.

Eliott must notice because he asks him, quietly, “Is this okay?” waiting for Lucas’ nod to interlace their fingers.

But Lucas does nod, and he whispers yes, Eliott and his chest fills with something new, or maybe it’s just his heart expanding. He squeezes Eliott’s hand back.

They wander for a while, hand in hand, along the canals and to a fries shop Eliott’s friend had told him was the best in the city. So they get some, Eliott going overboard on the sauces, and eat them sitting next to the water, legs crossed and knees touching.

“Can I ask what changed?” Eliott asks him after wiping a bit of sauce off his cheek and kissing him so slow and deep that Lucas had almost dropped the fries he’d been holding.

“You mean why I decided to come?”

Eliott nods, biting into another fry.

Lucas pauses, turning his gaze out away from Eliott and across the water, watching as a boat passes them, the people inside shrieking with laughter.

“There were two reasons,” he says softly, turning back to catch Eliott’s eye. “One, I was tired of being so scared. I didn’t want to have to live with fear and I guess I realized I didn’t have to.”

Eliott smiles, soft and kind. A look, Lucas is quickly realizing, that’s a natural one on his face.

“And the second reason?” Eliott asks.

Lucas grins and leans in, his lips so close to Eliott’s they’re almost brushing, the promise of his touch making Lucas’ head spin.

“You.”

Eliott kisses him.

They wander for a few more hours, grabbing dinner at a restaurant with cloth napkins where they’d actually sat down, ordered wine. It feels a little like something out of a movie, something Lucas had always wanted deep in his heart but never admitted to himself.

“Our first real date,” Eliott says when Lucas raises an eyebrow at the price. “I want to spoil you.”

Lucas rolls his eyes, but can’t hide the blush that coats his face. “You haven’t even asked me out!” he protests.

Eliott only looks at him at him.

“I did you one better,” Eliott says, reaching across the table and brushing his fingers across the back of Lucas’ hand.

“Oh, did you?”

Eliott nods.

“I asked you to run away with me and you said yes.”

Lucas flushes, catching Eliott’s fingers in his hand and bringing his hand up to kiss the back of it gently. “I did,” he whispers back. There’s really nothing else to say.

They spend longer than they should at the restaurant, even splitting a dessert – a gooey chocolate lava cake that has Lucas nearly melting into the floor and Eliott, after swiping the bill out from under Lucas’ hand, tells him they should make their way to his friend’s apartment.

It’s set back a bit in the city, down a side row behind some shops. The evening is settling into night, the last dregs of summer sunlight disappearing as the sun fully melts beyond the horizon, but the world is buzzing still, the night fresh and young and full of hope.

Eliott punches in a code at the door on the street and leads Lucas up a narrow set of stairs to the fourth floor. The hallway is dark and damp smelling, the stairs an old, twisted set of terrors, meaning that Lucas is breathing heavy by the time they reach the top.

Eliott finds the key tucked between a piece of loose molding and a flap of peeling wallpaper just where Eliott’s friend said it would be and puts it in the lock, the key twisting almost deafeningly, and the door swinging open.

The apartment is a studio, a kitchenette just to the left of the door and two large windows facing out onto the street, a small table and chairs placed between them. A mattress is pressed up against the wall across from the door on the floor and a small couch and tv are just to the right of the entrance. In the back corner Lucas sees a door which he can only assume leads to the bathroom. It’s dark, the light from outside nearly gone, and Eliott flicks the switch next to the door, bathing the room in a harsh yellow light from a single bulb placed in the middle of the ceiling.

“God, I hate overhead lighting,” Eliott says, moving to throw down his backpack and switch on the lamps next to the couch and the bed before returning to the door and switching the bulb back off. “There, that’s better.”

Lucas smiles, dropping his own bag into one of the seats at the table and turning to look out the window at the people walking through the city below them, each of them living lives so separate from their own.

“I’m just gonna, uh, use the bathroom,” Lucas hears from behind him and then the sound of a door clicking shut as Eliott goes in.

Lucas sighs and leans his forehead against the cool glass, but something picks at his brain that won’t let him relax. Not yet.

He fishes out his phone from his pocket and types out a message, one he’s typed out time and time again but hasn’t sent yet. But now, he feels like he can.

Lucas to Maman

I wanted to let you know that I won’t be coming home for a few weeks. I’ve decided to extend my trip. I met someone who I like very much and I want to be able to spend more time with them. With him.

He’s a boy Maman. His name is Eliott and I think you’d like him very much.

I’m sorry if this disappoints you. I love you and I’ll try to call you tomorrow. X

He hits send before he can think about it too much and puts his phone down on the table, plugging it in. There’s other things he wants to focus on tonight.

Across the room, Eliott emerges from the bathroom, looking at Lucas leaning against the table and smiling sweetly, his hands digging into his pockets, his shoulders hunching in what Lucas is learning is a nervous gesture.

Nervous. Around him of all people. Lucas will never get used to it.

“So what do you want to do tonight?” Eliott asks him, pulling his phone out of his pocket and swiping it open. “My friend recommended a few bars we could check out or I think there’s this one we passed on our way here…”

Lucas pushes himself off the table and walks across the room towards Eliott stopping just in front of him, close enough to reach out and touch.

“Or,” Lucas says, taking the phone out of Eliott’s hand and tossing it onto the couch, “we could stay in.”

Lucas reaches out and grabs the hem of Eliott’s shirt loosely, his fingertips brushing the skin at Eliott’s waist. Eliott inhales sharply and stumbles back, cursing as his hip makes contact with the couch.

“Yeah, god, okay, we can definitely stay in,” he says.

He reaches out to grasp Lucas’ face, his touch light against his cheekbones and Lucas leans into it, closing his eyes as Eliott closes the distance, their lips brushing together for the hundredth time that week, but something feeling new all the same.

It’s overwhelming in the best way, the feeling of Eliott so close, the way he’s holding onto Lucas like he’s a precious thing, not fragile but important. Something to be handled with care not out of fear of breaking, but affection.

Lucas leans into him and grasps onto Eliott’s hips, pulling him closer to press them together, Eliott angling his head to kiss him deeper, his tongue swiping at the seam of Lucas’ lips, turning the kiss hot and messy.

Lucas gasps, Eliott taking advantage of it to walk him backwards towards the mattress. Lucas’ hands run along the skin of Eliott’s stomach and around towards his back, pulling at his shirt as they move.

“Off,” Lucas whispers against Eliott’s mouth and Eliott is quick to comply, pulling the shirt up and over his head, giving Lucas only a second to take him in with new messier hair before he’s on him again.

“Your turn,” Eliott says, pulling back to kiss Lucas’ jaw, behind his ear and down his neck as Lucas shivers, tugging on his shirt. Lucas quickly pulls it over his head.

And really, Lucas thinks, it shouldn’t be this good, it’s not supposed to be this good, with someone he only met a short time ago. Lucas has never imagined it could feel like this, especially not so soon.

There was a nervousness, a hesitation in name only, when they gotten together the first time, only because Lucas was new at it, still is new at it. But Eliott had smoothed it away with an understanding smile and a readiness to only go as far as Lucas was willing, as far as Lucas would take him.

But somehow, Eliott’s never really felt like a stranger, and his body has never really felt completely new. Lucas knows they’ve only just met but there’s always seemed to be this place they existed together, from the moment they locked eyes across the beach, that only they could get to. A frequency only they can tune into, hidden away from everything else that beckons Lucas to break the so-called rules he didn’t even realize he’d been imposing on himself.

With Eliott, it’s just easy. And the parts that aren’t so easy Eliott is so calm and kind and understanding that it makes it easier to work through, to discuss and then deliver. It’s the kind of respect and desire, the kind of want with a preference that makes it clear Eliott, somehow, miraculously, feels just as lucky as Lucas that they found each other. A feeling that translates into comfort and vulnerability.

(And maybe, Lucas thinks as he recalls his words to the boys when he told them, it feels just a little bit like love . But it can’t be.

Can love happen so fast? )

They collapse on the mattress and fumble at the buttons on their pants, Eliott straddling Lucas to pull them off with his boxers as Lucas lies among the pillows.

“Shit,” Eliott inhales, his eyes roaming Lucas’ body, “You’re so fucking beautiful.”

Lucas can feel himself blush, still not used to the kind of compliments Eliott doles out so freely. He’s not used to beautiful either, something he’d never thought of himself as, something he’d never thought someone would think of him. And yet here, hovering over him is the most beautiful man Lucas has ever seen and he’s looking at Lucas with the kind of fierce adoration that makes Lucas forget everything else and Lucas finds he believes him. Somehow, Eliott’s words cut through the rest.

Eliott makes Lucas okay with being brave is the thing. It’s not that Lucas wasn’t capable of it before, or that he’s doing everything now for Eliott, it’s that suddenly, somehow, Lucas can finally see himself making brave choices, trying new things, trusting himself to know what he wants. It’s that seeing the way Eliott has trusted himself and in his feelings has made it easier for Lucas to accept his own. Take on new challenges because he wants to, leave the fear behind.

Life, for Lucas, has been full of new experiences lately.

Eliott leans down to kiss him again, deep and encompassing, pressing Lucas into the mattress with the kind of fervor that leaves Lucas shaking.

“Wait,” Lucas gasps, grabbing Eliott’s hips as Eliott freezes and pulls back. “No, don’t stop I just…” Lucas presses back against him and flips them, coming to straddle Eliott’s waist. “I want to try something.”

Eliott blinks, once, twice, his eyes dark as his gaze roams Lucas’ face. “Yeah, okay,” he whispers, his voice hoarse.

Lucas kisses him, Eliott’s mouth soft and wet against him. Then he moves his way down Eliott’s neck, his chest, his stomach pressing searing kisses to the skin as Eliott pants beneath him. When he reaches the waistband of Eliott’s boxers he looks up and finds Eliott looking back at him with something akin to awe on his face.

“Okay?” he asks, his mouth pressing the question into Eliott’s waistline.

“God. Yes. Please ,” Eliott pants out and Lucas can’t help but grin that he’s reduced eloquent romantic Eliott to single syllables.

“Okay,” Lucas replies, hooking his fingers in Eliott’s boxers and pulling them down, Eliott breathing out a punched out moan as Lucas returns and presses a kiss to his inner thigh.

Later, as Lucas lies in bed, a sheet pulled up around his hips, Eliott produces a joint from his bag and waves it excitedly at him as Lucas rolls his eyes.

“What? It’s Amsterdam!” Eliott says as he lights it, throwing open the window so the sounds from the street below float into the room.

“You’re so stupid,” Lucas says, but he can’t conceal his laughter, the way his happiness bubbles up, uncontained.

“So, you don’t want any?” Eliott asks, lifting an eyebrow as he takes a drag.

“I never said that,” Lucas says quickly and opens his arms beckoning Eliott to him.

Eliott returns to him quickly and they lay there, passing the joint between them, wrapped up in each other, Eliott’s fingers tracing patterns on Lucas’ arms. It’s quiet and peaceful and Lucas can’t help but lean into the soft comfort of Eliott’s embrace, so relaxed and at ease it’s like he’s had it forever.

Is that what it is?

They wake late the next day, Lucas wrapped in the warm circle of Eliott’s arms, a brief spike of panic coursing through him until he remembers he has nowhere to be, nothing to hide from. He can just be.

He relaxes even more when he finally convinces himself to check his phone while Eliott’s in the shower and finds a text from his mother that takes away the last of the burden.

Maman to Lucas

You could never disappoint me my darling son.

I love you. Call me when you can.

If his happiness is evident on his face, it’s only reflected in Eliott’s as he laughs when Lucas grabs him the minute he steps out of the bathroom, hugging him close and pressing his face into his neck.

“I’m so happy you found me,” Lucas whispers.

Eliott pulls back and pecks him gently, once, twice, three times.

“I think you’re the one who found me.”

They can agree to disagree.

Eliott drags him to a bakery his friend recommended and then across the city to the Van Gogh museum, telling Lucas it’s something they simply have to see. Lucas takes a brief stop to call his mother, who answers with her voice soft and warm, assuring Lucas she loves him and asking him to pass the phone to this Eliott boy .

Lucas tries to protest but Eliott hears from where he’s sitting and grabs the phone from Lucas’ hand, talking and laughing with Lucas’ mother on the other end. Lucas gapes at him when he hands the phone back and Eliott just shrugs, telling him, she just made me promise to take care of you. I told her not to worry.

Lucas can only shake his head as he brings the phone back up to his ear, just to have her tell him that Eliott sounds like a wonderful boy and again that she loves him. And Lucas really doesn’t blame Eliott when he looks a little smug after that.

Once they get inside the museum, Eliott spends the whole time raving about color and brushstrokes and genius and Lucas understands almost none of it, but he doesn’t care, as long as it makes Eliott happy. Eliott gets a little quieter, for a moment, when he talks about Van Gogh’s personal struggles, the way pain had come and never quite left, so Lucas reaches out and takes Eliott’s hand, squeezing it, and leans over to lightly kiss Eliott’s shoulder.

He doesn’t say anything but he knows Eliott understands from the way he looks back and smiles. It’s a smile like that, private and reserved just for Lucas, that makes the feeling in his chest expand just a little.

Can it be named yet?

And just like that, their days in Amsterdam fall away. Lucas loses count at some point, how long they’ve been there, their time so full of Eliott’s laughter and Lucas’ heart beating and kissing, that they start to blend together.

Kissing.

Lucas knows he’d never really been kissed before Eliott and certainly not like this. Lucas learns quickly that there are many different kinds, many more than he’d ever imagined and it seems like Eliott is on a mission to try out them all.

There’s kisses on his mouth and his cheeks and his jaw and his neck and searing ones that leave marks all over his body. There’s kisses in the street and in parks and on benches and pressed up against walls. At some point Lucas wonders if he should be getting used to these kisses, the way Eliott’s mouth feels against him, but then Eliott kisses him again and everything else is gone from Lucas’ mind and all he can remember is Eliott .

And even when they leave Amsterdam behind, Eliott seems to want to try everything all over again in each new place as if somehow the feeling of Lucas’ lips would have changed depending on the coordinates. Lucas wants to make fun of him, he really does, but then Eliott kisses him and it turns out he’s right. They’re all different. Every single one.

From Amsterdam they head to Belgium, stopping in Antwerp for a few days before making their way down to Brussels. Eliott takes a video of Lucas spinning around in the city center and when Lucas watches the video back he can hardly recognize the boy in it, his face full of the kind of joy Lucas didn’t think himself capable of.

He sends the video to the boys only to have them all tease him about Eliott being the perfect instagram boyfriend. But later, Yann texts him separately and tells him it’s good to see him so happy, and Lucas can’t help but hold Eliott a little tighter that night.

From Brussels, they make their way up to Oslo and then back down to Germany where they make stops in Hamburg, Berlin and a few other small cities that Lucas can hardly remember the name of, culminating in a brief stint in an off-season ski lodge in the Alps because Eliott found a number and a discount online.

It’s seeing Eliott standing in the midst of a vast sea of green, swearing at the miles still left to climb that makes the thing in Lucas’ chest finally take root and sprout vines that weave around his heart, turning the feeling into something unescapable, something that’s been nurtured enough to grow.

But there’s no fear as the vines begin to flower. Instead, it’s mostly wonder. And-

Lucas can’t think about that yet.

From there, there’s a quick flyover to Madrid, since Eliott had promised himself he’d get back to Spain and found cheap last minute flights. It’s become common along the way for Eliott to come to Lucas wide-eyed and excited, full of ideas and plans, and for Lucas to just say yes. He trusts Eliott, he does, and finds he really doesn’t care where he goes as long as he’s with Eliott.

Then they head back to Italy, starting in Venice, where Eliott insists they have to take a gondola ride because it’s romantic . Lucas balks a bit at the price but sees the way Eliott’s eyes shine with the thought, so he figures out a solution. In the end, they share a gondola with a pair of American students and an older British couple that had been standing near one of the pickup points so they can all split the cost. Lucas worries it’s not close enough to what Eliott had in mind. But as they sit there, fingers intertwined on Lucas’ lap, Eliott whispers, it’s perfect, in Lucas’ ear, and he can’t help the way his heart races.

(It doesn’t hurt that the older woman tells them they’re a beautiful couple as they go to leave the boat. Eliott thanks her, but Lucas only manages a deep blush.)

And that feeling in Lucas’ chest grows with every touch, with every kiss, with every new place Eliott takes him. It’s a feeling that’s a bit like luck, and a bit like awe, and a bit like adoration and longing and desire and choice all wrapped up into one. And Lucas thinks he knows, but he hasn’t dared to say it.

This has to be love.

But it’s Rome, finally, that’s the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

It’s the final stop on their nearly 6-week trip, culminating in a flight back to Paris the next Sunday morning – only three days away.

They’d splurged, just a bit, on a 3-star hotel because Eliott, after staying in their fair share of cramped hostels, had begged Lucas for a queen bed just so he could hold him, away from anyone else. And Lucas had been hard pressed to turn him down.

They’re in the middle of the Roman Forum when it hits him, a new kind of panic. Somehow, being surrounded by things so ancient and grand makes Lucas think of the things he’d been holding back on. The stories around him stitched together mostly in memory, and Lucas finds himself wondering if that’s what this will be too, a memory bolstered only by ticket stubs and material remnants rather than the person he lived it with.

It’s the word that’s been crawling out of his chest, trying to force its way out of his mouth every time he looks at Eliott. The feeling that had been demanding a name, the thing that Lucas isn’t quite sure Eliott reciprocates. Love.

When they leave on Sunday will things change? Will Eliott want this, want him when grand spontaneous adventures are no longer a part of their daily life?

Lucas is aware, in a way, that none of this is normal. He knows he and Eliott have moved fast. Faster than he’d ever thought himself capable. One minute scared and alone by his own self imposition and the next alive and wanting under Eliott’s gentle honesty and daring gaze.

But Eliott had never signed up for this, for anything longer than these six or seven weeks. He’d called that first dinner in Amsterdam a date, yes, but there’s been no labeling beyond that. When they land in Paris will Eliott expect them to go back to being strangers?

He holds the panic in, putting on a brave face for the rest of the day as Eliott continues to drag him around to all must-see spots on his list. He manages for most of it but then something must slip, as it’s wont to do, and without meaning for it, Eliott notices.

They’re walking down the street, on their way back to their hotel after dinner, when Eliott grabs his arm softly to stop him, and twists around so they’re facing each other on the sidewalk.

“Are you okay?” he asks, his voice gentle as he holds Lucas’ hands.

Lucas shakes him off but keeps his eyes on the ground, something stopping him from looking at Eliott. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” Eliott presses, making an aborted attempt to reach out to Lucas again only to catch himself. “Because if I did something to make you upset…”

“It’s nothing you did . And I’m not upset.”

It’s unfair to put this on Eliott, to expect him to take on Lucas’ fear again, to take on Lucas at all. He wishes that he could forget, even just for a day or two, that there’s an hourglass suspended above their heads, counting down the hours they have left. But he can’t.

“Okay,” Eliott says slowly, “but if something’s wrong, I’d want you to tell me…”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Lucas says, but his voice cracks as he feels the familiar tightness at the back of his throat, the shaking start in his hands.

“Baby,” Eliott says as he steps closer, cradling Lucas’ face in his hands and tilting his head up, “why are you crying?”

And that feeling in his chest starts at Eliott’s words, at the way he’s holding him, at the way he called him baby . Lucas can’t hold it in any longer.

“What happens when we get back to Paris?” he whispers.

Eliott stills. “What do you mean? You’re going to start uni and I’m going to get a job and we’ll figure it out from there, right?”

“But what about with us?”

“I mean, sure, I’ll have to take the bus to come and see you but it’s really not that far and you could always stay at my apartment if you needed on days you stay over late or…” Eliott looks at him, confused, and Lucas can’t speak, needs a minute to process what Eliott’s saying. “Is that not what you want?”

“No, I just,” he pauses, breaths. “So you’d still want to be with me once we’re back home?”

“Yes, of course,” Eliott says quickly. “Why would you think anything else?”

“You just never said,” Lucas replies, his hands coming up to rest over Eliott’s on his cheeks as he presses their foreheads together. “I don’t know, I thought that maybe it was just a summer fling or something for you.”

“It’s not. Is it to you?”

“No, never.”

Eliott smiles and then kisses him, so fully, so completely that Lucas sways where he stands, feels it all the way down to his toes.

“Would you like to put a label on it?” Eliott asks as he pulls away.

“Maybe,” Lucas says, grinning.

“How does boyfriend sound?”

“Perfect.”

And then they’re kissing again. Here, in the street, another new kiss for Lucas to check off their list.

They break away for a moment and as if Eliott can hear his thoughts, as though Eliott knows him better than he realized, he asks him, “Is that all?”

Lucas pauses, knows that he could say no, move on and hide away the feeling that’s been battling its way to the surface for weeks. Or he could let go, give himself over to it, say fuck fear, and say it, to hell with the consequences.

But this time the fear doesn’t feel like drowning, it feels a little more like skydiving. The kind that comes when you’re waiting to jump, when all you have left to do is leap.

“There might be something else.”

“Okay.” Eliott looks concerned, but runs a thumb across Lucas’ cheekbone.

And this is it – the moment of falling and hoping the parachute carries you down.

“I love you,” Lucas says, his voice surprisingly strong for the way his hands shake.

Eliott looks at him for a moment, eyes big, before a small smile starts to spread over his face, lighting up his features as he stands there. And then–

“I love you too.”

The parachute opens behind him and Lucas lands safely on the ground.

They somehow make it back to their hotel, their time nearly doubled as Eliott takes advantage of every opportunity to press Lucas against a wall and kiss him, the kind that sends sparks down Lucas’ spine and makes him never want to let Eliott go.

They barely make it inside their room before Lucas is on him, pulling Eliott close and reaching to rid him of his shirt, desperate to feel his skin against him.

“Whoa, slow down,” Eliott says, laughing as Lucas tries to kiss him again.

“No,” Lucas mumbles from where he’s kissing Eliott’s neck. “I want you now.”

He hears Eliott groan and then he pulls Lucas’ mouth back to his own so he can kiss him again. His kisses are sweet and open-mouthed and remind Lucas that Eliott runs warm in all the best ways, his touch like fire on him.

“Okay,” Eliott says finally, as he pulls back panting. “Okay, you’re going to have to stop kissing me if you want me to ever take my clothes off.”

Lucas giggles, but backs off, hands raised, as he makes his way over to their bed, stopping to dig something out of his bag.

“Okay,” Eliott says again as he walks over to Lucas, now only wearing his boxers, “you need to catch up.”

“So help me,” Lucas whispers, reaching up to pull Eliott to him, and kisses him again.

They sway on the spot, Eliott’s hands running all over Lucas as he holds him, tilting his head to kiss him deeper, biting gently at Lucas’ bottom lip and taking advantage of his gasp to lick into his mouth.

It’s somehow gentle and intense all at once, the kind of toe-curling eagerness that sends Lucas’ head spinning. They break apart only for Eliott to pull Lucas’ shirt over his head and for Lucas to step out of his pants before they fall on the bed together, legs intertwined.

Lucas can’t think of anything but Eliott’s touch and his mind only knows one word – Eliott, Eliott, Eliott . Eliott surrounds him so completely that Lucas finds himself wondering how Eliott is managing to touch him, to hold him like that only to lose his thought when Eliott trails a hand down his back and pulls his hips closer.

Lucas moans at the contact and Eliott pulls away to bite a mark into his neck, Lucas writhing at the sting and the soothing swipe of Eliott’s tongue. Lucas runs his nails lightly down Eliott’s back and presses his fingers under the waistband of Eliott’s boxers and knows, as Eliott pants on top of him, that he’s going to ask. Lucas is ready.

“What do you want to do?” Eliott asks, his voice deep, his eyes dark.

Lucas wordlessly reaches down next to the bed and produces a condom and lube from where he’d thrown them earlier. Eliott’s breath catches.

“Are you sure?” Eliott asks him.

“Completely sure,” Lucas replies.

And then Eliott is on him again, ridding them both of their boxers and moving back to lean over where Lucas is spread out on the mattress. His touch is gentle, his kisses deep as they move together, their skin burning in all the places they’re pressed together.

Lucas , Eliott pants out as Lucas runs his hand down Eliott’s body, as he bites at the skin just below Eliott’s ear. Eliott , Lucas whispers back as Eliott touches him and takes him apart, bit by bit. Lucas has never known something like this – the overwhelming way everything becomes Eliott .

They come together finally, Eliott moving slowly as Lucas adjusts, his moans sprinkled with okay? and does that feel good? as Lucas moves below him. Lucas nods and whispers back a choked out yes as the feeling overwhelms him and the heat spreads fast and low in his stomach. Eliott’s all over him, his hands everywhere, Lucas just trying to hold on as their rhythm builds and starts to get sloppy, as they pull each other closer. And that’s enough, as Lucas’ back arches off the mattress and Eliott follows close behind, clutching Lucas to him as the waves ride through them.

They lay, after, clutching each other as their breathing settles. Eliott only leaving the bed to grab a cloth to wipe Lucas off and then lifting the covers to settle them under the blankets, pulling Lucas onto his chest.

It’s only after Eliott presses a kiss to his temple, whispers you’re beautiful into his hair and lies back on the pillows, his breath evening out as sleep takes over that Lucas allows himself to think it, really believe it, for the first time. Because, in the end, they’re the only ones who get to decide.

It is love.

Sunday comes just as Lucas knew it would. There’s packing and checking out of the hotel and a frantic run to the airport shuttle to make their flight in time.

When they get to the airport, they get through security, buy a snack and go wait at their gate just like anyone else. Only Eliott refuses to let go of Lucas’ hand unless he absolutely has to. Lucas can’t help but smile every time he finds Eliott reaching for him.

It’s easy somehow, even though Lucas will miss the spontaneity of their lives during this trip, to be excited for what’s to come. For a life where they’ll be together, not just in front of each other, but surrounded by the people they already know.

There’s grounding there somehow, a firmer foundation that will make Eliott feel less like a dream and more like reality. At first, it scared Lucas to think about them without the rosy glow of this fantasy thing. But the more he thinks about it, the more he knows it will be a relief to no longer have to pinch himself and expect that it’ll wake him up.

Because Eliott isn’t a dream. He doesn’t just exist in this vacuum of worlds they’d explored together. But neither does Lucas. And somehow, it’s even more exciting to imagine what they’ll be when life picks them up again and takes them along for the routine of the everyday. Vibrant, but in other ways. In the variety of them.

Eliott takes his hand again as they board the plane and Lucas lets him lead them to their seats. Eliott’s out, almost as soon as the plane takes off, and Lucas finds himself shifting so that Eliott’s head falls to rest on his shoulder as he sleeps on, the weight sending a smile to Lucas’ face.

The thing in his chest shifts as the plane flies through the air, flowering now with something new, born of love and desire and longing. It replaces any fear left behind, chases it away to dark shadows and keeps it at bay for now, as Eliott shuffles closer to Lucas in his sleep.

So when the pilot comes on and announces their descent into Paris, Lucas finds nothing waiting there for him in his heart but love–

–and hope.

#skam france #elu fic #elu #elu fanfic #hope you like it!#my writing

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dear-wormwoods · 4 years

Note

may I ask for a style fanfic rec list? 🥺🥺🥺

I have a couple of requests for this and I’ve been thinking about how to respond, because to be honest, I very rarely read fic these days. And by ‘these days’ I mean like, since 2014. I always have things I intend to read, but then time goes by and I don’t get around to it. So nothing I’m going to rec is new and you’ve probably already read them fkjds.

Anyway, sorry to be predictable by just being like “read Hollycomb’s fics” but...

The Scenic Route - 116k words, should be rated E for the final two chapters (I literally have no idea why it’s rated T on AO3, it was definitely M when I first read it on ff.net years ago)

Summary: The boys embark on a six day road trip to California before separating for college. Cartman is a pain in the ass, Kenny has no future, Butters is in crisis, and Kyle doesn't know how he'll say goodbye to Stan.

Why you should read it: The yearning. This fic is written entirely in Kyle’s POV, and Holly does such a brilliant job of getting into his head and really capturing that feeling of already mourning a friendship/relationship before it’s even over and kind of intentionally setting the bridge on fire to make what is (seemingly) inevitable hurry along, as if that will make it hurt less (it doesn’t). The first six chapters, the actual road trip portion of the fic (where the T rating actually does apply), are where it is at its strongest, and Kyle’s gradual descent into panicky, angry desperation is painfully real. I can’t stress enough how in character everyone is, each retaining recognizable mannerisms and dynamics from canon while still clearly being grown people entering adulthood. There’s a reason this fic is THE Style fic.

Leave the Pieces - 251k words, rated E (though that rating only represents a small portion of such a long fic)

Summary: Stan and Kyle meet as strangers in their mid-twenties, shocked to encounter someone else who can't remember the first ten years of his life. They form an instant connection, but only one person in South Park remembers them, and Kenny can't explain why they disappeared or why the rest of the town forgot them.

Why you should read it: It’s a lengthy epic with supernatural elements, a complicated plot that fits right into the show’s universe, and the kind of love that quite literally transcends time, space, and memory. I can’t explain it much further without giving away the plot, but this behemoth is gut wrenching and powerful. It is equal parts a story about Stan and Kyle finding each other as adults and falling in love despite not remembering who they are, or each other, and a deep exploration into Kenny’s character and his curse. Kenny is really the MVP of the story, despite it initially seeming like “just” a Style fic, and his relationship with Wendy is written beautifully and convincingly. One caveat, though: some parts of this fic... I’m not a fan of. I greatly dislike Cartman/Butters just as a concept, and there were times, particularly in the first half of the fic, where I almost quit reading because of their scenes. I also feel like this fic fell victim to fandom’s earlier tendency to mischaracterize Craig as borderline sociopathic (but in contrast, he’s absolutely perfect in Holly’s oneshot Other People’s Tupperware). However, I’m such a sucker for supernatural memory loss not being able to sever soul connections, and Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Wendy’s respective journeys more than make up for my reluctance to stomach Cartman/Butters or other comparatively minor issues. And honestly, everything does fall into place as the plot unfolds, so all I can say is... if you hit certain scenes and think ‘wtf IS this??’, just stick it out, the payoff is worth it, especially if you’re looking for high quality Kenny content.

Amalgamation - 78k words, rated T (but should be rated M imo, because there are sex scenes, though they aren’t very explicit, just intimate)

Summary: In 1862, Kyle's family is forced to move from New York to a tiny mining settlement at the foot of Pike's Peak in Colorado. Kyle is sixteen years old and miserable until he meets Stan, a fellow transplant who has been in town for three years. Their feelings for each other are shadowed by the town's haunted history, and for Kyle the local legends begin to feel more like real nightmares.

Why you should read it: I know ‘1860′s gold mining settlement AU’ doesn’t sound very fascinating, but it is. This is another one that’s written in Kyle’s POV and again Holly does a wonderful job of expressing his emotional turmoil, the guilt and shame he feels, his self-righteousness, and the depth of his love for Stan. Everyone is as they would be if the clock was turned back 150 years, made different by the time period and the demands of their circumstances but still obviously recognizable. The old-timey atmosphere and world-building are so seamless and never feels unrelatable. There are also supernatural/ghost/mystery themes in this one and the fear is palpable.

From the Queen of England to the Hounds of Hell - 170k words, rated E, includes major character death (aside from Kenny)

Summary: Ten years after the execution of Terrance and Phillip, the war with Canada has not ended. Stan and most of Kyle's friends are planning to join the army after high school graduation, bound to be drafted anyway. Kyle doesn't believe in the war, but he's not willing to let Stan go without him.

Why you should read it: This is.... a perfect fic, and I don’t say that lightly. It is quite possibly the ONLY perfect fic I have ever read, in any fandom. I can’t actually describe all the ways in which it’s perfect without giving the plot details away, but, God, if you commit to reading just one of the long-ass fics I’m reccing on this list, make it this one. Please. It honestly makes me mad that this one never got the same attention as like, The Scenic Route, or ‘Night School’ did, because it so deserves to be up there. Only Holly could take the concept of the fucking movie and turn it into a completely devastating, bittersweet, epic romance. There is no caveat here, no ‘I loved it except for this and this’, just thorough, soul-crushing perfection. Just... Kyle. God, Kyle. I can’t elaborate, my heart isn’t up to the task. This fic will haunt me for the rest of my life.

The Ascent of Stan - 32k words, rated E, though it is like 95% domestic fluff

Summary: Stan sells his small pest control company and Kyle thinks they should use some of the money to go to Hawaii, where he proceeds to grill Stan about the mid-life crisis that Stan claims he's not having while their kids frolic nearby.

Why you should read it: This one is everything a domestic fic should be. It basically just chronicles the events of a week-long vacation to Hawaii that nearly-40 Stan and Kyle take with their two kids. This one is written fully in Stan’s POV and it works so well... he’s exactly the kind of dad that I imagine he would be, doing his best to provide for and protect his family’s little bubble and resolving to be better than his father while quietly fighting the lingering shadow of his alcoholism and cynicism. There’s no real conflict in this one, just 30,000 words of a very typical family vacation: not exactly blissful, irritating at times, but ultimately the foundation for perfect memories.

Never Change - 115k words, rated E

Summary: Thirteen years after his high school girlfriend's pregnancy upended his life, Stan is still in South Park, working with his partner Bebe as a local cop. They're in the process of investigating a series of possibly connected murders when FBI agent Kyle Broflovski returns to town and informs his old friend Stan that this is his investigation now.

Why you should read it: This is equal parts a murder mystery and a romance. It features exactly the kind of Stan/Kyle situation I hate to think about - a decade-long estrangement of their own making that comes to an abrupt end due to extenuating circumstances. It hurts because of how likely it is to happen that way, and it works especially well in this fic because of Stan’s reluctance to embrace his own bisexuality until he’s nearly 30 and Kyle’s tendency to put up walls to protect himself. Also, Bebe features prominently in this fic, which is always a huge bonus.

Bonus Oneshot Rec:

The Reformation of Fart Boy - 7k words, unrated but probably T, just barely

Summary: Five times South Park has brought Kyle to the brink of sanity and Stan has brought him back.

Why you should read it: I love thinking about the ways in which canon-typical nonsense continues to impact the characters in the long term on a serious psychological level. Kyle has suffered a lot in canon and it’s obvious even in the show that it is gradually changing him and wearing him down, so I really love this fic for focusing on his responses to some of the more traumatic moments, as seen through Stan’s eyes.

I feel sort of guilty only reccing one author for right now, because there are other fics out there that I liked and am planning on revisiting, but this post is long enough as it is. Chances are you’ve already read some or all of these, but they’re my favorites. I reread all of them while making this list, and they still hit me hard after all these years.

#asks #south park #sp style #stan marsh #kyle broflovski #fic recs

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purplekiwis · 4 years

Text

i think my chapters have been getting like way too long... im already over 7k words and there's like 3 scenes missing.... wtf should i do, do i just make long ass chapters or divide them into shorter chapters? aaa

i think im gonna write the way i wanted and if its too big i'll make like a part 1 and part 2

0 notes

lukeysgirl · 7 years

Text

The Note Tree ❋ L.H. Pt.11

Part E L E V E N

Summary: A cherry blossom tree, residing at the farthest part of the schools courtyard. Nobody dwelled there, and you didn’t care much for it. Until you kept hearing one song played over and over, with lyrics changed to touch at your curiosity. They knew you were listening, and one day you gave in and made your way to the pink tree. Waiting for you, a series of notes tied to a single strand of string.

Word Count: 7k+ (jesus wtf)

AN: VERY IMPORTANT GUYS: this might be the last part i release before i enter uni and find myself incredibly busy with class so i am so fucking sorry for that. i wish i could keep writing this consistently and finishing by maybe november but it might be a little longer than that. to those who love TNT: ya’ll are amazing and im so grateful for all the support and love ive gotten for it. im also just so sorry to disappoint, and will try my best to update them as timely and well-done as i may xx

Parts: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty.

I M A G I N E

Thursday - Frozen Day

“You’re so careless!” Savannah lectured, tapping your head in scolding while you sat there and took it.

For the trip, the teachers had forced all the seniors into the gym at the very moment everyone stepped into the school. The gym, though newly renovated and shiny, was disgusting. The glossed, light-brown (wooden) planks of the floor were ornate with splotches of dirt, dust, and residue of athlete sweat. There were several basketball hoops around, with two scoreboards on the width sides of the gym. Those black scoreboards were off and collecting cobweb with the ceiling emitting super white lights down to practically blind you.

But that was the least of your worries.

“Des, if you keep offering me your breakfast burrito, I’m going to bash my head against the wall,” you huffed under your breath, having Des continue to wiggle the said food in front of you. You and the girls were huddled in a corner, with you in the very corner, slung down and allowing your large Thrasher sweatshirt to swallow you. Des had been to your right, sitting in a pretzel with Alexis to your left with her legs folded the same. Savannah sat like a princess, as she chose to wear this long, floral skirt because it matched with her beige crop top.

“Have you eaten?” Des asked, completely skeptical of you.

“Yes.”

“How can I believe you?”

“By trust my word?” You suggested. You understood they were worried and you understand fully well how careless you are. But this was just absolutely uncalled for and unnecessary. “I ate a bagel with raspberry cream cheese and orange grove orange juice.”

“It sounds like you went to Starbucks.”

“I did.”

“Bitch, with what money?”

“Someone came in clutch,” you replied simply, not necessarily wanting to get too deep. Des stared at you wistfully before looking away, knowing you hadn’t want to say another word more. You looked over to see Alex begin braiding her long, brown locks and you began to randomly wander about Luke and how he dealt with his blonde hair.

Does he wake up to it being messy? Or is it always curly when he wakes up? Can he put it upwards in some sort of quiff? Is it long enough for a man bun? Oh boy, why the fuck did you even care?

What about Luke’s hair do you give a shit about? It aggravated you how much your mind played this useless games. Luke has somehow weaved himself into most things you look at. You see video games being broadcasted outside game shops and think about if he had an Xbox or a Playstation. Sometimes when you saw kids play little league sports at parks, you wondered if he’s played any real serious sport. Truth be told, it was bothering you and gave you a headache than you already get when you interact with said boy.

“Seniors!” Announced a teacher at the dead center of the gym. You didn’t bother looking up, too exhausted to divert your eyes somewhere other than the ground. “If you’d like to see who chose you and your groups camp schedule, come on over!”

Immediately, you heard people rise with feet dashing the glossed ground over to the center of the gym. A cheap plastic table was set up with folders of papers, likely the schedules and whatever the hell else the man was saying. You were quick to mute him out as you fiddled with your thumbs. You didn’t care enough to see what group or what the schedule was. You just wanted to get it over with.

“I’ll get the schedule for you,” Alexis hummed, giving your shoulder a squeeze before your three companions rose from the ground and slowly made their way to the lines of students. You sighed, already bored to be in the gym, wasting time by sitting around and not even getting a wink of work. Of all things, you hated not being productive.

“Y/N.” A familiar male voice sounded through, his figure casting a shadow over you. Being swallowed up by it, your eyes glanced up only to emit a deep sigh before diverting down to the glossed ground.

“Go away,” you spewed, distaste already dancing on your tongue as Nathan took a seat beside you. You tossed a glance only to find Nathan swallowed up by navy blue sweats and some yellow shirt representing a college you couldn’t exactly make out from your angle. But aggravation soon drowned you as Nathan sat down in a pretzel and scooted closer to merely brush your shoulder with his own. “God, why me?” You breathed, looking up at the ceiling in hopes someone from the skies heard you.

“You know Y/N, you can’t be cold like that forever,” Nathan pointed out, having you roll your eyes in how little you cared for Nathan’s words. “You might get denied form several jobs in the future if you’re that brutal.”

“I’m only cold to you because you serve no benefit to me,” you said quietly. “If it’s an employer, of course, I wouldn’t act this way.”

“You’re a breathing glacier with valid reason,” Nathan hummed, having you still stone-faced before Nathan flicked his wrist to present a sheet of paper to you. You looked at it curiously, taking it from him to read its contents clearly. “I found out what group you’re in, and I was hoping you could do me a favor so I can return a favor.”

Your eyes dilated, seeing your leader assignment that was the one and only: Luke Hemmings. You figured you were going to be in his group, hence why you hadn’t bothered putting in the effort to beg to Ashton. But you had some hope that maybe one of the boys would give you a little sympathy, regardless of being Luke’s friends. Now you were to suffer greatly on a trip you initially wanted to bail on.

“What gives you the upper hand to even ask that of me?” You grumbled, knowing as fact Nathan has some sort of ‘threat.’

“Are you sure your head didn’t fall on the floor?” Nathan hummed curiously, having you glare over at the chestnut-haired entity. “It seems your intelligence lost a few bolts.”

“Fuck off and tell me what you’re trying to exchange.”

“Well, I’m just gonna tell you what I want: to be in Lucas’ group,” Nathan began, having you raise your eyebrow. You weren’t gonna respond, assuming he was going to continue and hopefully finish. “Not only to be around you, but to make sure you’ll be okay.”

“Oh, and you care over my well-being?” You began sarcastically. “Oh wow, you must think you’re such a good person for caring over a girl like me.” Nathan grinned at this, attempting to dismiss it with an unhurt smile. But you knew in the very curls of his lips the slight pang of pain from your cruel words.

“I don’t trust that asshole taking care of you any better,” Nathan began quietly, his veined hands clenching onto his knees. “He’s gonna be responsible with 22 others to really dedicate time for you. You know this, Y/N.”

“I don’t need people looking after me, alright?” You spat. “I’m 18, I’m responsible of my own damn self. Enough that I can take care of myself.”

“Your nurse’s trip yesterday says otherwise,” Nathan contradicted in a hush tone. You flinched, refusing to meet his gaze as your eyes stared at the shining floor. If you could punch the boy, you would. “No sleep, no food, no water in your system? I dunno about you, but to me it seems like you can’t take care of yourself too well.”

“Just shut the fuck up already,” you grunted, pulling your sleeves more over your hands as you tugged at them with your hands. “You don’t know shit about me.”

“I know that your home situation isn’t great,” Nathan dared, having you close your eyes. Just go away, you thought. Just fucking get away from me already. “And if you think I’m being pushy, imagine how Luke would act if he knew.” Right then, your heart stopped, eyes wide and completely laid upon the chestnut-haired imbecile.

“You wouldn’t fucking dare,” you growled. “You wouldn’t-- you said you were selfish, that you were glad Luke didn’t know.”

“Well sure,” Nathan hummed as he leaned a little back. “But I see how Luke annoys you so I figured this exchange would be reasonable. I keep my mouth shut and you get the honor of having me have your back.”

“I feel like I don’t win as much,” you hummed lowly, your eyes diverting up to study the mobbing group of students seeking their papers. For Nathan to keep quiet and keep Luke at bay, he’ll be in your group for the desire to be near you and watch over you. The entire situation was idiotic, you knew. But you would rather ‘burden’ Nathan with the responsible he refuses to believe he doesn’t have than Luke having it. You still disliked both, but your favoritism resided with Luke if ever the question was put out there.

“It seems like you would rather much have me annoy you than Luke,” Nathan said with ease.

“That still makes you annoying, dumbfuck,” you spat, rolling your eyes a bit as you emit a quiet yawn. This frozen day was finding itself to be worse than you honestly expected it to. But you glanced over to see Nathan muted, simply staring at you wistfully. Likely waiting for a response. “...But fine, Holland, okay. I’ll ask Luke. But if he refuses, that’s completely beyond me.”

“Fair enough then,” Nathan dropped before rising to his feet again. You felt his shadow cast on you once again, his eyes down on you as well as you merely looked up at the boy. “But I do expect you to try, you know.”

“Ha,” you uttered dryly, watching as he turned the heel and escaped towards the hoard of people.

Boys are stupid. Boys are stupid and obnoxious, and absolutely one of the things that you didn’t need. You didn’t need anyone, really. But it was really heartwarming to have the girls you did have around. And, you suppose you could give some credit to Luke for being considerate, even when he’s annoying, flirtatious, unnecessary, and moronic.

“Y/N, you are right!” Des chirped, having you look up to see the 3 infamous ladies return with their papers. She quickly dropped herself beside her, her braids bouncing from the impact as she showed you her paper. “I’m with Calum!”

“And I’m with Michael.” Savannah mewled with a fond tone. “And Alex got in with Ashton.”

“Told you guys.” You allowed those girls to sit back in their seats and exchange bubbly words about the plans and what not. You’ll be reading Luke’s group schedule later as you were growing a slow and steady headache. Nathan and this entire keeping a secret was bothering you. Not because you felt guilty about not telling Luke, but feeling like an idiot to have Nathan know at all. You feel more like an idiot to fill yourself up with such strong poisons and lose your mind.

I should’ve just walked alone from the party, you hummed to yourself. Not even-- I should’ve just not gone. Stupid Luke and his stupid ‘I owe you.’

“Ah- I’m in Luke’s group!” A shrill scream suddenly popped you from your self-loathe and discipline to look up and see Nadia wave her paper around in the middle of the gym. Chatter quieted down from this but they still resumed as she flaunted it about to the girls around. And, hilarious enough, the girls’ shoulders drop in disappointment, seeing as they likely wanted to be in his group, too. You shoulders only fell because Nadia was stuck in your group and you really didn’t want to be anywhere near her. The thought even impulsed you to deflate her just a bit.

“Nobody fucking asked,” you said firmly, loud enough for the words to wash everyone over like a wave. The quiet chatter soon became almost silent whispers as Nadia turned over to you. Her red hair danced from the very action, her entire body swallowed up by a pink-like beige sweater and a brown skirt. She glared down at you, her poppy seed pupils dilating by the small shock that it was you who uttered the words.

“Look who’s feeling bold today,” Nadia hummed, her 1-inch heels clinking upon the shiny floor as she began making her way to you. You looked up at her, entertained a bit as her shadow was slowly arriving to cast upon you. “What’s wrong, sweetie? Did you not get into his group?”

“Sorry to burst your ego, Princess,” you spat, opening your paper to break the air to show it to her. “But I’m also in his group. I don’t give enough of a shit, and you have no reason to brag because that’s just you among the other 10 girls with us. So sit the fuck down, alright?”

A few ‘ooo’s sounded, pairs of wide eyes and surprised expressions floating in your periphery as you looked up at the redhead. She looked a bit embarrassed, her cheeks lightly tainted pink as she waved your paper away. You put it down and shrugged, looking away to see your girlfriends look at you with surprised, wide smiles.

“You’d best watch your tongue with me, Y/N,” Nadia growled, gritting her teeth together as she leered down at you. “I’ll make your camping time a living hell if you say anything smart like that.”

“More of a hell than the one I’m currently living?” You raised your eyebrows in surprise. You then chuckled, looking down at the paper loosely between your fingers with delirium. “I’d honestly give you an applause if you could manage that.”

“Is that a challenge I hear, Y/N?” Nadia hummed, haivng you look up to meet her eyes. Hers were dim, but yours held a dark intimidation that made her eyes flicker with hesitance. But she seemed determined, more or less, to fuck up your time. Before you could counter, Des quickly rose and placed her hands on her hips.

“Bitch, I dare you to try it,” Des huffed, a splash of attitude leaving her tongue. “You touch my girl at all during that trip and I’ll personally stick your ass up in a tree for an entire damn night.”

“Great, don’t tell me the ape is in our group, too,” Nadia slurred dreadfully, having you widen your eyes as Des was pulling up her sleeve to pack in a punch. But Savannah and Alex quickly got on their feet and grabbed her before she could dare do a thing.

“You better watch yourself on that trip,” Des growled. “I may not be in your group, but my ass will switch if I gotta punch you mute.” You chuckled, shaking your head at Nadia’s audacity. You leered up, seeing how she glared down at you as if you’ve done wrong. Quietly, you crumpled the paper and stuffed it in your bag before forcing it on and getting yourself up.

“I do really feel bad for you, you know,” you hummed as teachers quickly began to rush over to the scene. “I understand that you genuinely need attention to live, and that’s something you can’t help. But I think you shouldn’t do it by picking at others. Especially people who aren’t afraid to give it to you, because I know Des will punch you to another reality. Unless you’re a masochist, then please, be my guest. Fucking swine.”

“Y/N, out,” a teacher scolded, having you shrug as you sauntered away from the girls and Nadia to leave the gym. Which was fine with you, really, as you didn’t like the smelly disgusting gym to begin with. But when the teacher escorted you out, you met eyes with the control in your mind. You groaned, rolling your eyes in actual disbelief as you began walking down the corridor. “Console your group member, Hemmings.”

“Will do, sir,” Luke replied, his voice growing distant as you stomped away. You weren’t agitated, you were just pretending to be. Nadia was annoying, but it’s difficult to set you on the edge of vexation as you kept marching away. You could hear Luke’s kicks jog on the floor as his hand made it to your shoulder. “H-hey, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, actually,” you hummed. “Just pretending to be mad so the teachers think I’m an angry, troubled child.”

“Okay, but why were you sent out?” Luke asked, his hand still on your shoulder. You were waiting for him to force you to face him, but he didn’t. He just kept his hand there, probably one of the most gentlest gestures you’ve ever actually received by a boy.

“Ah, it was all Nadia, truly,” you hummed, listening to Luke groan in disappointment. “She began flaunting over the fact that she was in your group, so I told her that nobody asked and so she came over and started something. It was only right for me to continue feeding her energy to strengthen her pettiness. It’s like an RPG, Luke. You only get stronger if you fight.”

“Yeah, but you do learn better strategically if you pull back from fights that you don’t need to take on,” Luke replied, having you shrug. It was a fair answer, you had to admit that much. Not that you’d tell him though, or else you’d be feeding to his ego. And God knows inflating that ego only made you wither.

“Anyways, we argued some, I said a few bad words, and now I’m out here,” you spewed simply. You then turned, looking up to see strong jawline, sharp nose, blue-eyed devil Luke Hemmings stare down at you worriedly. You actually flinched, unsure as to how to take this. He needn’t words to get your heart racing, and that was something you weren’t too down about at the moment.

“You better not be like that on the trip,” Luke warned softly, having you raise a brow up at the blonde before you. “I put her in our group because I thought it would be good if you two tried to get along.”

“Me get along with Nadia?” You asked in genuine astonishment. “Has the Devil split the ground in two and risen from the deep depths of hell? Has God finally descended from the clouds to tell everyone? What is this life?”

“Y/N, I’m serious,” Luke insisted, his frown deepening as he led you over to lean on the cold, metallic lockers. “I doubt you want to graduate knowing you had a grudge on someone.”

“I don’t have a grudge on that imbecile,” you huffed. “She’s the one being a bitch to me and the least I can do is defend myself. What gives her the right to be a cunt to me when I haven’t even done a thing to her?”

“You’re rather cold to her, Y/N--.”

“You mean the way I act to everyone besides Sav, Des, and Alex?” You spat, leering up at the blonde. Luke gulped harshly, quickly quieting down as your point evidently dissolved into him. “I don’t need to get along with Nadia because I don’t need her in my life at all. So don’t start forcing me to do something that neither I nor her want.”

“I just want to help you--.”

“Want to help?” You spat immediately, having Luke flinch, his face paling up as he looked down at you. You blinked a few times, staring at him to allow the gears in your brain to turn. “Put Nathan in our group.”

“What the fuck? No,” Luke immediately dismissed, having you scowl at him as he looked away, slightly vexed. There was something swimming in those ocean eyes, but you couldn’t really hint at it if they weren’t staring directly at you. “Absolutely fucking not.”

“Excuse me, but I’d like to enjoy myself when we go to the forest,” you hummed. “I want him to swat away all the mosquitoes, or get stung by them instead of me. I’m sorry, but rashes aren’t my thing.”

“I can do that for you!” Luke insisted.

“You’re the leader, dumbass,” you huffed, shoving his chest gently. “They need to make sure you’re fine and running well-- you can’t be holed up taking stings for me. Just let Nathan do it so I come back rash-free.”

“Y/N,” Luke growled. “He’s a nasty person, I don’t want him in my group spreading his bullshit around.”

“He’s going to be pining over me, he’s not going to be spreading no bullshit.”

“That makes me more adamant, Y/N,” Luke huffed, rolling his eyes while still refusing to face you. You sighed, annoying that you were forced to actually put in a good amount of effort into getting the other vexing person in your group. Clenching the hold of your bag, you rolling your eyes and stomped your foot.

“Why do you even hate the guy?” You began. “Your jealousy over him is invalid, so something has to give. Why do you hate Nathan?”

Luke tried to emit something in response, but found himself frozen and speechless. His upper, pasty cheeks tinted a light pink as he dragged his tongue along his rouge lips. You could see how hesitant his was, the distance in his eyes indicating how rapidly he had been thinking. They were even getting clouded before he crossed his arms over his chest in distress.

“That’s not important right now,” Luke muttered sheepishly.

“Right, okay,” you sarcastically replied, somewhat in disbelief from Luke’s stubbornness. “Just get him in our team.”

“Or else what?”

“Or else I’m going to tell you to fuck off the entire trip,” you threatened, having Luke’s eyes divert to yours (finally) to flare up in jealousy. “I’ll ignore you when we have breaks for chat, sit as far away from you during breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and I won’t be bidding you goodnight before I sleep.”

“Cruel!” Luke blurted, obvious pain dancing in his face as you shrugged. He knew he couldn’t test you, you’d keep your promise in your words. That’s just who you were, even if you didn’t exactly want to avoid Luke. His shoulders slumped, his blue eyes losing its color for a moment before letting out a strangled sigh. “Fucking fine, I’ll transfer him.”

“Wait, seriously?” You hummed in disbelief, looking up to see disgust in his face as he nodded slowly. You swallowed, mouth a little dry as you chewed on your inner cheek. “Well shit, okay.”

“But I’m never leaving you two alone,” Luke huffed angrily. “I don’t trust Holland, and I swear if he does anything with you--.”

“Will you stick him up a tree for an entire night?” You questioned, reminding yourself of Des’ backlash with a smirk on your lips. Luke bit on his bottom lip, contemplating the finishing sentence as he nodded.

“Sounds about right, yeah.” You giggled, having Luke raise an eye in puzzlement before shrugging it off. He lent you this extremely warm smile, one so gentle that it was intimidating. You looked away, letting out a small sigh as you allowed silence to seep in. But right then you decided to pop it.

“Anyhow, thanks for the ‘scolding.’“ You curled both index and middle fingers you own in the air. “Can I go back now?”

“Mm, I dunno,” Luke hummed, watching as he bent over and got his face close to yours. You stiffened, trying to counter his attempt to embarrass you by glaring at him. The tip of his nose was tempting to just meet with yours, knowing that if he did, a spark will somehow surge through and make you jump. “I don’t like it when you’re not around.”

“That sucks,” you huffed. “You’re just gonna have to deal with it.” I don’t like it when you’re not around. Luke honestly couldn’t give your head or heart an actual break. How inconsiderate.

“I already do when you’re not,” Luke hummed woefully. Trickles of vexation surged through when listening to his down tone. You didn’t like it, it was too unlike him. “I’m supposed to be in the gym now anyways”

“Yeah?”

“Gotta flaunt my leadership and meet all the members,” Luke hummed. “I chose some pretty chill people, so you shouldn’t be too bothered or irritated by them.”

“Oh geez, did you select them in my favor?” You wondered, “because I’d definitely have to counter that, considering Nadia is in our group.” Luke was quick to bring his hand to the nape of his neck to give his lower curls a scratch.

“Like I said, it’d be good if you guys could try and get along,” Luke hummed awkwardly. You looked into his azure eyes long and good, flickering your pupils about as he stares directly back. But his irises slowly thin with the widening of his own pupils, having them a little shaky. You were grasping at possible guesses, hoping to find a better reason than the one he insists.

“Is it because you feel bad for her?” You hummed, looking ponderously in his eyes. The oceans dim, his pupils divert itself elsewhere awkwardly, “oh, that must be it! I wonder why...” you practically sang, going up to catch Luke’s chin with your hand. His eyes go back into yours, lightening up only a tad, “If you’re gonna lie, at least give me a good, believable reason as to why you’d add the Devil reincarnated into our team.”

“You’re quite good at digging, aren’t you?” Luke praised, evidently a little vexed at your skill. You smiled in triumph, letting him go to back up from him once more.

“Years of practice,” you murmured, not too fond of the skill but just enough. Pursing your lips together, you studied Luke for a moment before looking back at the menacing gym doors. You changed your demeanor and quickly pulled in the Puppy Eyes, “wanna get out of here?”

Luke got easily caught, his heart halting at the very sight of you. You had plead and beg in those mystery swirls, not caring if it seemed so unlike you. It was so unlike, but you have to do some hard shit to get what you want sometimes. And if this was it, you were more than prepared to do something so simple and only slightly degrading. But Luke easily succumbed, “destination?”

“Away from the gym,” you murmured, having Luke look at you skeptically. But it was obvious he was surprised at your question. Him out of all people? You’d rather go somewhere with one of the girls. But Luke had a bit of superiority now, so you figured he’d be able to get you out of the tiring confines of that gym. “Just follow my lead, yeah?”

“Y/N, what’re you--.” Before he could do anything, you began to yell.

“She’s such a fucking bitch, I can’t handle her!” You growled, your face grimacing with pure heat in your words and eyes. A few teachers idling about looked over worriedly, eyes peering in curiosity. Luke widened his eyes, quickly putting his hands on your shoulders as if to hold me back. “Let me go back in there and give her a damn smack on the mouth! Disrespectful bitch!”

“Uh-- calm down, Y/N!” Luke spoke over you, a little awkward at first but assertive. It was believable enough, you thought, as you continued shifting angrily in his hands. You did press pressure, requiring the appearance to make the teachers actually believe it as the assistant principal got close.

“Is everything alright, Mr. Hemmings?” Her voice rang, having Luke nod as he continued to hold you. You allowed searing growls to leave you, leering at the teacher to have her flinch only slightly. It was amusing to be considered a cold being around the joint.

“Yes, it’s alright,” Luke hummed, “but I think I need to chat with her for a moment. Mind getting another professor to go over the schedule with my group? I really need to speak to Y/N as she disagrees with the selection of my team.”

The teacher merely nods, having Luke nod from his glance before turning back to you. You continued to act rabid, having Luke grab you by the wrist and begin tugging you out of the hallway. You made sure a string of curses stayed behind your legacy as Luke dragged you away. As he did, you looked at his sturdy back and noticed a paper stickied onto it. No fucking way...

Removing it from his back without him noticing, you jog behind him with your freehand, you shakily open the note and reveal its contents.

‘I’m a huge cryer. Once I had been away from my mom for about 2 days, and I had sobbed within the first 3 hours of the trip. It’s really bad, but I just miss people a lot when I’m away from those I love -H’

He’s adorable, you thought to yourself as you stuffed the note into your pocket. It was annoying that you didn’t know who he was, but learning about him through these small notes was fascinating. You were discovering a real person, either some shy boy who was this cute, or a jock who keeps these as secrets from the public view. It just made you so curious as to who this person was, and it itched at your mind.

A question though: how the fuck did he get the note attached to the back of Luke R. Hemmings?

“Hey,” you sounded to Luke, who continued to lead you away. But he slowed down when far enough, having you appreciate the gesture greatly. “Where are we off to?”

“Away,” Luke replied, having you take the answer as you let him take you to wherever away was.

You found yourself in your English class, vacant with papers and chewed up yellow pencils sprawled about.

“I hate this class,” you hummed, slowly sauntering over to the fern chalkboard as Luke walked along the rows of tables by the door. Your fingertips dragged along the words, taking away the colored chalk in the letters and words jumbled about, leaving dashes and holes all around. “I love English, but this class is so slow that I’m ahead,” you hummed, looking around to see the big lesson soon which is ‘Love prevails all.’

“Keep in mind that you’re you and everyone else isn’t,” Luke said fondly through chuckles, “everyone else doesn’t have such a smart, easily interpretative brain like yours, Y/N. You’re far too unique to be in the crowd of copies.” You smiled at this curtly, still staring at the green entity to conceal it from his view.

“I try,” you admit, bringing your hand before you to see your fingers dirtied with the white powder. “But sometimes I do wonder at what cost...”

“Elaborate?” Luke asked kindly, always willing to lend ears.

“I mean,” you began, clearing your throat a bit, “I’m very happy to be where I am currently with 3 amazing people as my friends, but they’re always out having a blast at those social gatherings while I keep my face stuck in a textbook.”

“Nn,” Luke hummed in comprehension, “so you think you’re missing out?” You nodded, looking distantly at the small bookshelf that was at the end of the chalkboard by the windows. “It’s too late to get out there, you know.”

You scoffed, smiling a bit at his words, “you’re far too optimistic, Luke. We’re already in our senior year-- my 3 years are spent and my last one is already looking to be spent.”

“That’s because you’re trying too hard in a year that doesn’t matter so much,” Luke snorted, having you immediately snap your neck to face the blonde boy by the back of the classroom.

“Pardon you, but I’m trying to get myself in a good university,” you snapped, “it doesn’t matter if my grades ‘don’t count’ this year. I’m always going to do my best, to not only prove it to everyone else but to myself. To prove that while everyone else is the same, I’m... different.”

“Weren’t you just complaining about that?” Luke hummed curiously, having you look away again, studying the textbooks collecting dust, “the only rabbit in the turtle race.”

“Well, I want to be a little both?” You chimed almost suggestively, “I mean, I definitely won’t let go of my studies for even a second, but maybe I can let loose just for a few hours every weekend? Not so late like your venue concert, but I mean, just a bit of time away from home. B-but I also don’t to seem like a slacker or some party animal...”

“I kind’ve get what you mean,” Luke began quietly, having you glance over to see him saunter to your desk, “like that’s the side of you that you want to keep and have it exist but not be the entirety of you.” You gave Luke a lingering stare, seeing the way he looked wistfully at your desk and brushed his fingertips along the scratched in gang names and doodles.

“R-right, yeah,” you sputtered, somewhat surprised at how understanding Luke was. It was like he himself was in the same shoes, but that couldn’t be possible, could it? He was the popular guitar player in a band who goes to parties and has girls constantly swooning over him. He indulges in attention and is said to be the life of every party he steps one single foot in. “Does that sound crazy or somethin...”

“I think it’s cool,” Luke mumbles genuinely, his tender words quickly making your heart race, “you want to stay true to yourself to everything while still experiencing something that’s out of your comfort. It’s really rad, ‘n I respect that.”

You smiled at this, feeling a little better as you slowly made your way towards the boy, “you’re actually not that bad, Hemmings.” This quickly caught Luke’s attention as he snapped his neck and had his blue eyes widened and fixed on you. No words came through just yet, but his bewilderment was quite the sight, “chillax, I’m just saying you aren’t as much of an ass as you always act.”

“N-no it’s not that,” Luke stuttered, both large hands covering his face as he looked away. You stayed at his back, confused as those curls perfectly fell down the nape of his pale neck. You wondered what happened, wanting to step closer without stepping on a border. “It’s unusual for you to be candid in such a sweet way-- it caught me a little off guard.”

“Don’t get used to it,” you huffed, “it’s not gonna happen often, and this might end up being a one time thing.” Then, suddenly, Luke chuckled after your words, and you couldn’t help but lighten up. His laughter was always so gentle and warm, like a morning dew of a summer morning, with bells dancing along with the wind current.

“I won’t,” Luke assured, turning around to show his cheeks only a little bit tinted with pink, “but I like this you-- this raw version. Just makes me fall even deeper.”

“Fucks sake,” you scoffed, looking away to shake your head in disapproval, “don’t even begin with calling me candid when you’re especially so. You’re not in love with me.”

Luke let that hang for a moment, having you feel his blue eyes stare at you as he held a smirk. You looked over at the window beside your seat, reminding yourself of the stalker. The Note Tree, the assumed title of the song this random boy wrote for you. Always changed, 30+ days worth of one lyric change that had always kept you wondering how his eyes was always on you but you could never coincidentally meet them. You emit a sigh, somewhat vexed at everything and the stalker and the boy before you with a warm smile and beautiful ocean eyes.

“That sucks,” Luke hummed, “because I am very much in love with you and proud to be incredibly deep in. I’m practically by the center of the earth-- it’s beyond boiling point.” You shook your head, chuckling at how much of a dork he was.

“So what should I do about it?” You sounded, rolling your eyes over to see him gnawing on his bottom rouge lip. You wondered curiously at his face, seeing how he hasn’t even faltered a single bit.

“You’re a good digger, aren’t you?” Luke pointed out, “dig me out.”

“Oh yeah?” You made your voice just a bit higher, with your eyebrows following and your eyes meeting his with annoyance. “How do I do that? My personality is one that makes everyone run away so I have no idea how to dig you out.”

“Well, that’s the thing then, isn’t it?” Luke said quietly with a curt, kind smile, “you can’t. Your digging skills only reside in things you know, but you can’t understand my love for you. So there’s nothing you can do but make me sink deeper and deeper,” Luke spewed with more passion, moving closer to you, and oh my, “until my heart is bruised with your name. It’ll throb lovingly with eternal colors that I’ve only seen when I’m with you or you’re dancing about in my head.”

“I...” you began, looking away completely. You were flushed. Red-faced, red tinted, completely scarlet with no control whatsoever. That asshole is absolutely impossible. “...Fuck off, Luke.” You shoved him back, getting out a few entertained laughs from the blond dolt.

“Never,” Luke practically sung, having you grumble as you took a seat on the desk in front of yours and leaned your back against the closed window. Luke followed, hopping on your desk as you looked distantly at the empty hall through the door. He noticed the wistful expression on your face and spewed quietly, “you okay, Y/N?”

“Mind singing me a little something?” You immediately replied, indirectly looking over to see his feet move forwards and backwards like he were on a swing. They suddenly halted from your words though, as you felt his eyes likely on you. He was silent, speechless possibly, “what’s wrong? Can’t do it without your guitar?”

“N-no,” Luke stuttered, his hands clenching around the edges of the desk as he sat forward with his lanky back slouched. “It’s just... didn’t think you’d ever ask me to sing you something.”

“Want me to take it back?” You threatened.

“No!” He immediately stopped you, having you smirk as you began twiddling your thumbs. You didn’t say anything further, having Luke guess to sing anything he’d like. You don’t have requests so long as you heard his voice. His singing voice is not bad, you honestly admitted. “You’re dripping like a saturated sunri-hiiise--” He chose Halsey, what a guy, “-you’re spilling like an overflowing sink. You’re ripped at every edge, but you’re a master piece, and now I’m tearing through the pages and the ink-- come in with me, Y/N!”

“I don’t sing,” you exclaimed in slight bewilderment, looking over to see pure optimism and encouragement. “I’m not that like, good...”

“But I don’t care,” Luke hummed, having you frown, “I want to hear all of you, every single way you can use your voice. So singing is one.”

“You pervert, that consists of a lot of sound I can make--.”

“Everything is blue!” Luke sang-screamed, having you flinch, but giggle it out before joining him. “His pills, his hands, his jeans. And now I’m covered in the colors pull apart at the seams-- continue it for me, Y/N.”

“I swear to god, Luke--.”

“Y/N.”

“And it’s blue-oo-oo-ooo,” you sang the stretched out word, having you feel completely embarrassed as you sung, “and it’s blue-oo-oo-ooo...”

“Everythin’ is grey-- his hair, his smoke, his dreams,” Luke sang, his voice raspy and pure, completely raw and absolutely doesn’t need a guitar to help him sound better. He was fantastic, as he deserves to think and know so. “And now he’s so devoid of color-- he don’t know what it means! And he’s blue.... yeah, he’s blue...”

“You were red,” you began with the bridge, your voice as dramatic as it could be as Luke began to sputter out laughter. You clenched your chest with your hands, “and you liked me because I was blue...”

“Then you touched me and suddenly I was a lilac sky!” Luke yelled with you, the both of you raising your arms with glee as you turned to face each other. “But then you decided purple just wasn’t for you.”

“And it’s blue-oo-oo-ooo,” Luke finished quietly, refusing to go through the whole chorus yet again as you stared at him wistfully. It’s those kind of moments you dream of having: the ones where you can be absolutely silly with another who is just as silly and indulging in it completely. But it’s with Luke and somehow you aren’t mad about it. You’re looking into those blue eyes and noticed just how blue they were. And by God, they were so blue-- so blue that you could fucking drown in them and you had high doubts that Luke had his lifeguard license.

“Ah, sorry...” you quickly spewed an apology, looking away to distantly return yourself to the vacant corridor. But Luke only let out another laugh, one more lower and genuine, so warm and tender that it greeted your heart kindly with a dose of adrenaline.

“And you still wonder why I love you?” Luke began, scoffing in disbelief as your cheeks flared up in scarlet. “Can this be our song? So when we get married, we can play it and remember this day.”

“Luke!” You exclaimed, slamming down on the wooden table. “Slow your damn horses-- you’re way too optimistic about your future.”

“I don’t think it’s optimism,” Luke said honestly with a smirk. You turned to stare at him, seeing the way he looked up distantly to the ceiling, his blue orbs still. “I know what I want in my future, and I know I want you innit all, through-and-through.”

You allowed the silence to take you over, as you were at a loss of words. So much so that you adjusted your bag on you bag and hopped off the desk. Luke followed, refusing to utter a word as you gestures to the space before you.

“Y/N?”

“Grab my wrist and walk us back to the gym please,” you murmured, shyly unfurling your hand as you offered it to him. You could tell he was a bit awestruck, considering this was very out of your nature. But Luke had just done something that you will never forget, even if you wanted to, and somehow-- somehow, you aren’t angry at all.

“You’re so sly,” Luke chuckled out, his hands with mountains of callouses and rough skin taking your wrist. It was a more delicate hold, much more gentle and not rushed. It felt really sweet and genuine, like he was savoring it all. “Let’s go.”

With that, you allowed the blonde-haired monster take you away, fully flushed and unable to shake off the sudden new speed your heart took on.

you already know what to do, inbox is right here and please don’t hate me for the super slow updates aha xx

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