#its really disappointing that i can barely enjoy these chapters because her character is so goddamn aggravating | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jerzwriter · 3 years

Text

Chapter 31 - All that glitters...

Book: Open Heart 3 (Post Series)

Pairing: Tobias Carrick x MC, Ethan Ramsey x MC

Rating: Chapter: Teen

Summary: Extended Series WIP – Love Triangle. In this chapter – Casey begins to inform all the players about her decision to remain behind in Boston, and she copes with her own feelings as each response; Ethan begins to see healing takes more than he thought, and he has a friendly shoulder to help him through; Tobias & Casey each make a discovery, and wonder if they can truly trust each other.

Category: Extended Series (WIP)

Warnings: Some cursing.

A/N: This is a repeat, but it’s going to be 35 chapters. But it is REALLY going to be 35, no more extensions, the bones of the remaining chapters are already done. As I said last time, I’m not stressing over it, the story just needs to be told right. Expect Chapter 32 within the next week. I’m committed to keeping this going without many delays. This is the last “set up” chapter, the action is about to flow. Thank you and I hope you enjoy the chapter.

SERIES MASTERLIST

CHARACTERS BELONG TO PIXELBERRY STUDIOS

Casey’s eyes went to the door the second she heard it open; she knew it would be Ethan. He smiled warmly walked over to her. Too warmly. He looked like her parents had, in the past, when an acceptance letter arrived. She could see the nervous tension but also the unmistakable pride on his face. For all they had been through together, he always knew her future was unlimited, and telling him that she was turning it down was something she did not relish.

“Hello,” he grinned, pointing to the table. “What’s all this?”

“I went ahead and ordered for us. I hope it wasn’t too presumptuous, but I do know what you like.”

“You do, but you didn’t have to do this.”

“I know. But I also know if I waited until you got here, there is no way you would have let me treat, so I beat you to the punch.”

“You always did know how to one-up me, MacTavish.”

“It’s one of my charms,” she grinned.

“One of many.”

“Shut up and eat your croissant,” she said, tossing a flaky treat his way.

“So, will I be missing our meetings here soon?”

“You cut right to the chase, don’t you.”

“Yes,” he leaned back confidently. “You’ve made me wait long enough.”

“What if I just wanted to enjoy breakfast first?”

He shrugged. “We can do that.”

Casey sighed and tossed her muffin down onto her plate. She didn’t have much of an appetite anyway.

“What’s the point? It’s not as if I’m going to enjoy it anyway.”

A perplexed look spread on his face. “Why?”

“Because regardless of my choice, there was always going to be good or bad. There wasn’t one correct answer, there were two, and each came with its own price tag. Each one would please some and disappoint others. And I hate that.”

He leaned on his elbows and looked over at her with a tenderness that made her recall earlier days when this was “their” place, and he could whisk away her fears with a smile and the touch of his hand. She wished times were that simple once again.

“Casey, ‘others’ don’t matter in this equation as much as you do, you know that, right?”

“Sure,” she lied.

“And you’ve given this serious thought. You’ve really weighed the pros and cons, right?”

“I did.”

“Then you’ve made the right choice. Now,” he straightened up and spread jam on his croissant, “you can tell me that answer now or later. As long as you tell me before we leave because I’ve been patient enough.”

“I’ve decided to stay at Edenbrook,” she spit out. She immediately brought her teacup to her lips, lowering her eyes to escape the disapproving look she knew would come. But that did not protect her from hearing the tone of his voice.

“You’re… serious?”

“Yes,” she answered, clearly annoyed, “and I’m telling you the same thing I told Tobias last night. There were only two answers; it was always fifty-fifty, so I don’t know why everyone is so shocked.”

“I guess… it just wasn’t what I expected to hear. Are you certain?” he whispered, his voice so low it was barely audible. “Casey, this is the opportunity of a lifetime.”

“I’m certain,” she answered with a voice so confident that the average person would have believed her, but Ethan knew her too well.

“Case… what… what were your pros and cons?”

“What happened to it’s my choice, and you trust that I weighed the options thoroughly?”

“But with everything you told me, how could anything tip the scales?”

“Ethan, sometimes you can have a list that is miles long, but just one reason on the other side can be big enough that none of the rest matters.”

His face fell. “Tobias.”

“That’s not my only reason,” she lied.

“It’s plain as day,” he objected as his exasperation growing.

“So what it if is,” she snapped. “I’m not you, Ethan! My career has never been my one and only end all! The people I love matter to me.”

She regretted saying the words the moment they fell off her tongue. His jaw clenched, and she wasn’t sure if she saw anger, regret, or sorrow in his eyes, and it was, in fact, all three.

“I’m… I’m sorry, Ethan, that was uncalled for. I’m just being defensive.”

“Then perhaps you should consider why you are. If you were so certain, you wouldn’t need to be. I know I’ve made my mistakes, and I know I’ve been foolish in not honoring those I have loved the most. But I’ve learned some, and now… a partner shouldn’t limit someone, Casey. I hate that he asked this of you.”

“He didn’t ask anything of me. I made my choice on my own.”

“After he gave you an ultimatum!”

“He never gave me an ultimatum!”

“He said if you left, your relationship is over. How is that not an ultimatum?”

Casey’s eyes darted around the café, and she saw other patrons beginning to look their way.

“My relationship with Tobias is none of your business,” she whispered.

“You’re right. But I care about you, and your career is my business. It has been since the day I reviewed your residency application. I’ve never taken my responsibility lightly, and I don’t want to see you toss it all away.”

“I’m the youngest member on one of the most renowned diagnostic teams in the world. Your diagnostic team. Isn’t impressive enough? I’m still going to have a brilliant career. I’m just choosing my path, and I am happy with my decision. Please, have enough faith in me to believe I’m capable of doing that.”

“Of course I have faith in you, he sighed,” I just hope you won’t regret this.”

She nervously popped a bit of her corn muffin into her mouth and smiled.

“Plus, you still get to meet me for breakfast this way.”

“Well, I suppose there is some silver lining,” he answered with a wry smile.

“Thank you, Ethan. Please, trust me.”

He nodded, but his silence left her with doubts.

Now I should go. I need to call William and inform him of my decision. Knowing him, this should be fun.”

“No doubt it will be,” he grinned, “But before you go. We finalized arrangements for Naveen’s party. It’s going to be on the Cape in two weeks, and I can assure you will have the day off. Will you and Tobias be able to join us?”

“Of course,” she smiled, “nothing could keep me away.”

_____

Casey sought out a vacant conference room the moment she entered Edenbrook, eager to get this unpleasant task out of the way. But, subconsciously, she probably wanted to do it before there was any chance of changing her mind. William’s secretary announced her call, and she answered within seconds. He was disappointed when Casey said, though the offer was one she couldn’t have imagined, she had to turn it down.

There was marked silence on his end, and as it dragged out, Casey grew increasingly uncomfortable.

“Have you given this sufficient thought? I don’t mind waiting a bit longer.”

“I have, and my decision is final.”

“May I offer some advice?”

“Of course.”

“I hope that you’re not doing this solely for the sake of my nephew.”

Casey was incredulous. “Excuse me?”

“I’m just saying….”

“I heard what you said,” she interrupted firmly. “ But you have a wife, correct? Are you telling me that you don’t take her into account when you’re making life-changing decisions?”

“Of course I do. But she’s my wife, Casey. Now, from what I understand, Tobias loves you an awful lot. Maybe enough that you will be his forever, but what if you are not? How will you feel then? I’m not trying to be cruel. I have daughters your age, and I’m going to give you the same advice I would give them. Opportunities like this do not come by every day. Do you want to throw it away for a maybe? You’re a brilliant young woman, perhaps you should put yourself first… especially….”

“Especially what?”

“Especially given my nephew’s track record with women.”

“You know, you barely him, and you barely know me. I know who he was, but I also know who he is, and I know how he feels about me.”

“Casey,” William sighed, then he spoke with kindness in his voice, “he’s my nephew. I love him, and this puts me in an awkward situation. But, I really like you, and I see what you can achieve and, selfishly, what you can bring to my institution. So, again, if you were my daughter, I would say, if he’s that devoted to you, then why was he unwilling to bend for you.”

“William, I’ve decided not to accept the offer. And I think our conversation is over.”

“Well, I’m disappointed, but I understand. But my offer stands.”

“What?”

“If you should ever change your mind, call me. I doubt I’ll be able to give you the same offer, but we’d always be delighted to have someone like you at GW.”

“Well, thank you for that, though….”

“I know, it’s unlikely. I wish you the best, Casey. With everything.”

Casey hung up, happy it was over. But, the relief and the happiness she expected to feel never came.

She began walking to the team’s office when she ran into someone who immediately made her smile.

“Well, look who it is! Are you counting down the days until you’re out of here, Naveen?”

Naveen smiled brightly. He was always happy to run into his grand-mentee.

“Oh, my lovely girl, you know that it is a mixed bag for me. I’m eager to explore other areas of life, but I also cannot imagine not being here every day.”

“Well, I hope that as you explore your life, that feeling will melt away.”

“That’s my hope as well! And how are you? It’s been too long since we’ve chatted.”

“I’m OK.”

“Just OK?”

“I just turned down an offer to go to GWU.”

“Ethan had told me about your offer. It sounded like a wonderful opportunity.”

“It was. But it wasn’t what I wanted right now.”

“Well, I trust you to make the decision that is best for you.”

“I’m glad someone does. But, Naveen,” she asked with a voice that sounded more desperate than she expected, “can I ask your opinion?”

“Always.”

“You’ve spoken to me about your regret in making work the sole focus of your life. Well,” she said with some degree of embarrassment, “I made my decision because work is not the sole purpose of my life. Do you… do you think that was a mistake?”

“My child, only you can answer that. From my perspective, it could go either way. Your career, especially at your age, is of great importance, and you have so much to offer. On the other hand, there is so much more to life. I would never fault you, and it isn’t as if you won’t have a stellar career either way.”

“That’s what I said!”

“Of course, I am also of the belief that if someone loves you, they would be willing to make the sacrifice to stay by your side, and you may want to take that into account.”

“But he has his reasons, valid reasons. I can’t really blame him.”

“Well, as I said, I have faith in you. All that matters is that this is the right decision for you.”

Casey clasped his hand, and she smiled weakly.

“I can always count on you for good advice.”

“Always. Even when I am no longer here. Oh, I understand Ethan is throwing a big, unnecessary affair to celebrate my new beginning. I’m hoping I will see you there?”

“You know I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

_____

Ethan was so caught up in his conversation with Casey he lost track of time and ended up running late for his session with Dr. Fernandez. He was never late for anything, so he was angry with himself. When he opened the door and entered the empty waiting room, it dawned on him, not being called the wrong name by a certain pain in the ass had become a routine, and he missed it.

His session was more emotional than usual, and that said a lot. He addressed why Casey’s decision weighed so heavily on him and began to understand why it shouldn’t. It was also becoming clear that his path to healing lay in digging up the past, to bury it again, the proper way this time. He had been unearthing for months now, bringing long-suppressed feelings to the surface. Beginning to understand how all the puzzle pieces came into place. It had been both exhausting and painful, but he thought the worst was now behind him.

But now, he was beginning to see that burying these things meant letting go. He wanted to release the pain that defined and sought to destroy him for so long. But the familiarity of that pain made letting it go feel like losing an appendage, losing who he was. Letting go meant giving up on hopes and dreams that still lived on in his heart, no matter how unrealistic. It meant forgiving, not just others, but, most difficultly, himself. He now realized that the glass-covered road he had crawled upon to get to where he is now was just the beginning; the steepest challenges still lay ahead. He only hoped that the reward everyone promised was on the other side would have been worth it.

He leaned against the back of the elevator as soon as he stepped inside, and only then did he realize he was not alone.

“Sonia, I didn’t see… how long were you in the hallway with me?”

“Uhm, I was there before you.”

“You were?”

“I was,” she chuckled.

“I’m sorry, I… why didn’t you say something? It’s not like you to be quiet.”

“Really?” she said, shooting him a look. “I know I’m chatty, but I can tell when someone is in though and needs to be left alone, and I respect that.”

“Well, thank you,” he smiled.

“You’re welcome,” she replied.

“I’m actually glad I got to see you. I missed your wiseassery more than I realized.”

“Awww. I’m honored! But I hope the lack of it didn’t impede your session.”

“Ah, today’s was difficult regardless.”

“That’s necessary, Ethan. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

“Excuse me? What is my name?”

“Eduardo,” She grinned.

“Hey, would you like to grab coffee? I wouldn’t mind discussing how this therapy shit works again.”

“Well, I’ve been at it long enough. I am a semi-pro by now. But… I don’t have time to go to Derry’s, and my shift starts in 40 minutes, so we’d have to go there.”

She points to a Starbucks.

“STARBUCKS?! Are you kidding me? Don’t you have anything better down here?”

“I guess? But it wouldn’t give me enough time to get to work. Now, do you want to have coffee with me, or do you want to show the world what a java snob you are by yourself?”

“I want to have coffee with you.”

“Good. Then shut up, and let’s go to Starbuck’s.”

“I should make you pay.”

“Fine by me,” shrugs.

“I’m only kidding.”

“Suit yourself.”

They enjoyed their time together, Ethan appreciated her explaining that healing is a lifelong process, but setbacks don’t mean you head back to zero. You notice you are sliding back at 70% and you do what you need to do. When he complained that it sounded exhausting, she asked him how well letting the demons control his life worked. She laughed victoriously when his response was, “Shut up.”

But Sonia’s favorite part of their encounter was watching Ethan drink his coffee.

“You look as if you are being assaulted!” She laughed.

“That’s because I AM!” he replied. “This is an assault on my taste buds.”

Sonia rolled her eyes, “You are such a prima donna! It’s not that bad.”

“I’m disappointed in you, Sonia. If I hadn’t introduced you to real coffee, it would be one thing, but I have. So I am disappointed.”

“Oh, how will I continue with my life now,” she chuckled, “You’re so lucky I put up with you.”

“You know what,” he laughed, “I am….”

Sonia smirked but diverted her eyes and looked away.

“Hey, are you free two weeks from Saturday, by any chance?”

“I’d have to check my schedule. Why?”

“I’m throwing a party for Dr. Banerji. Are you familiar with him?”

“Everyone is familiar with Dr. Banjeri. Plus, I know he’s your mentor.”

“How do you know?”

“Everyone knows.”

“You are such a wise ass.”

“I’m aware. Self-awareness is key.”

He shook his head, smiling. “Anyway, wiseass, would you like to go to his party?”

Sonia scrunched her nose, a bit surprised at the request. “Like, as a date?”

“Well, we don’t have to call it a date. We can call it, I’m going to be surrounded by people who, as much as I love them, all bring a certain level of stress. I’d like a friendly face who is there solely because they like spending time with me.”

“First, you’re assuming I like spending time with you. Second, I’m assuming there will be free food and adult beverages. Buddy, if I go, you will be far from the sole reason.”

“Is that a yes?”

“I will check the new schedule when I get to work. But if I’m free, yes,” she smiled, “I’d love to join you.”

____________________

Dusk was falling, and back at Edenbrook, Casey and Harper were wrapping up a conversation.

“Well, I, for one, am glad you are staying.”

“Thank you, Harper. It’s good to know someone is not disappointed in me.”

“Someone? Do you mean Ethan J. Ramsey? Because, as far as I can see,” she tilted her neck toward Tobias, who just entered the office, “most are likely glad you’re staying.”

Harper tapped Casey on the shoulder before heading out of the office.

“Hey, kid,” Tobias smiled then kissed Casey on the top of her head.

“Affection at work?” she smirked.

“Affection in the office while we’re all alone. You’re lucky we’re not doing more.”

“Yeah, yeah. Are you OK? You look exhausted.”

“I am. I barely slept last night.

“Really?” Casey asked, surprised, “I thought you would have finally slept well.”

“So did I. Hopefully, I will tonight.”

“Sorry to interrupt,” Ethan said, entering the office.”

“You’re not interrupting at all,” Tobias answered.

“Good. Do the two of you have a moment to go over a couple cases.”

“Actually, I don’t,” Casey answered. “I have a consult with Dr. Cho in ten minutes. Nicole Carpasso was admitted again this morning. I was asked to step in on the case, and it’s Dr. Cho’s only free time today.”

“Of course, it can wait,” Ethan answered, shooing her away. “Go, go.”

Tobias squeezed her hand as she walked out the door, sharing a lingering look. Casey then turned back to Ethan, smiling when their eyes met.

“I’ll see you at quitting time,” she said to Tobias and left.

“So, it looks like I still have an intact team,” Ethan said, never taking his eyes off his laptop.

“Yeah, it does. I guess you were expecting otherwise.”

Ethan raised an eyebrow. “Well, it’s still a little surprising, if I’m being honest. It was a hell of an opportunity she threw away.”

“I don’t disagree, but being here is a big deal too. She’ll still excel.”

“Mmm. I’m sure you’re pleased.” Ethan tried to contain the disapproval in his voice, but it came through.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Ethan folded his laptop and leaned back in his chair.

“Tobias, do you truly believe she stayed because of her opportunities here?”

“Gee, I don't know. When did being on one of the most prestigious medical teams in the hemisphere start being a bad thing? Because maybe I need to get my resume in order.”

“It’s not. But she had the chance to go to the next level.”

“And she decided she didn’t want to. That’s her choice.”

“You don’t think you had undue influence on her?”

“Whoa, slow down. I never told her what to do, and she made her choices on this alone.”

“And maybe she shouldn’t have. Perhaps you should have worked on that choice together, like a couple.”

Tobias’s eyes went wide. “Pardon?”

“You could have tried, and you could have attempted to come to a decision together. All you did is let her know choosing the position meant losing you.”

“Well, that’s a gross oversimplification of the situation. But thanks, Ethan. Next time I need relationship advice, I know where to go.”

“And what is that supposed to mean?”

“You know damn well what it means. My relationship with her is my relationship with her. Her ex, who really didn’t do right by her, is not the one who should be offering advice. I’ve always been honest with her. What was I to do? Wait until she decided and thought we’d be shopping for a house in DuPont Circle together before telling her I can’t move back there? In any case, her decision wasn’t based on me alone.”

“Yeah, I’d love to know what the other factors are.”

“Ethan, this conversation is closed.”

“Fine. I just hope you’re both happy.”

“Me too. And since we’re discussing things, my happiness is less likely to be impeded if my girlfriend isn’t turning to you when she needs to make a major life decision. Do you want to talk about impropriety? How about suggesting she talk me when she comes to you with such matters.”

“I can’t determine who she turns to.”

“But you don’t see anything wrong with this picture? How do you think I liked hearing her talking to you about her choice before she talked to me.”

“The same way I liked her talking to you about matters that involved me when we were together.”

Thoughts flashed back in Tobias’s mind; Ethan was right; he had no retort.

“Besides,” Ethan continued, “she never told me, she... wait… you were listening to us that night? Tobias, that's pathetic.”

“Nothing is pathetic when you're worried about losing the woman you love.”

Ethan sat quietly and swiveled in his chair. “Yea, I know all about that. But you were mistaken. She didn’t tell me a decision, she was just telling me about the offer. She hadn’t made up her mind.”

“Well, it sure sounded like she did at the time,” Tobias said sadly, though he softened toward Ethan.

“Why didn’t you at least try? I know I’m no one to speak, given my history with Casey. But don’t you see, I don’t want yours to be the same. I know what it’s like to lose her; trust me, you don’t want to do it. Could you have tried to come up with a solution?”

“You have no idea what I did or didn’t do. I was in the process.”

“Does she know that?”

“No, it's moot now she decided to stay.”

“She decided to stay without all of the information that was available to her! You should tell her. Even now.”

“I’ll take it under advisement,” he snapped.

“I’m sorry,” Ethan said, shaking his head. “I know our history is… complicated… but you matter to me, so does she. I’m glad we’re working toward being friends again….”

“We are friends, Ethan. We may be working toward making it less… complicated… But given everything, we’re doing a good job.”

Ethan nodded in acknowledgment.

“But understand, I would never do anything to hurt Casey.”

“It’s not always intentional,” said softly. “Anyway, more pleasant topics. Are you looking forward to Naveen’s party?”

“Of course, wouldn’t miss it. Do you need us to drive anyone down?”

“No one that I’m aware of. But I’d check on Casey’s gaggle of friends.”

“Hey, that’s my gaggle too!”

“Do I hear gagging in her?” Floria said, entering the office.

“See, Flor, you have to stop saying things like that. This is how rumors get started,” Tobias chuckled, surprising all.

“Well, I’ll make sure to quash that rumor. Anyway, did I hear travel arrangements for the party being made?”

“Yes, you did,” Tobias answered.

“Well, I’d rather not make the drive alone. Can I grab a ride with you, Ethan?”

“Of course, you’re more than welcome to come down with us.”

“Us?”

Tobias’s brow raised as he looked over at a dumfounded Floria.

“I asked Sonia to come along.”

“Sonia, from the coffee shop, Sonia?” Floria asked.

“Yes.”

“Oh, I hadn’t realized. Uhm, let me give it some thought.”

“Fair enough,” Ethan replied. As Floria quickly retreated from the office.

“Sonia?” Tobias inquired, “Who is this Sonia of whom I have not been made aware?”

“Relax. She’s a friend.”

“A friend? How many friends have you asked to Naveen’s party? Tell me about Sonia.”

“You're being incorrigible.”

“Which one of you is being incorrigible right now,” Casey asked, entering the room.”

“It’s Tobias’s turn,” Ethan deadpanned.

“Hmm, good to know. Ready to head home, T.”

“Well, I’d rather stay here and get more information about this Sonia person that Ethan is bringing to the party.”

“You’re bringing Sonia?” Casey asked, shocked.

“Yes, but it’s not a date.”

“It’s not?”

“Oh, for the love of God, will you two go home! As your boss, I demand it. Get out.”

____________________

“Tobias? Tobias?” Casey nudged him after he fell asleep on the elevator to the parking garage.

“Hmm… Oh? What?”

“Hand over the keys, buddy.”

“What, I haven’t been drinking,” he smirked.

“No, but you’re completely exhausted. Come on, let me drive home tonight. You know it’s not safe to drive this tired.”

“You’re right,” he said, tossing her the keys.

“So,” she said, adjusting the driver’s seat, “why don’t you shower and head right to bed when we get home.”

“Maybe,” he yawned.

“I barely ate today, so eating is in order first. Then, a shower and bed sound good. But only if you join me.”

“I’ll see. I’d really like to do some research on Ms. Carpasso’s condition tonight, but I could always go to sleep with you and just get up early.”

“Mmmm,” he said with his head against the window, “sleep with me. I always like you... sleep with…”

And he was out. Casey smiled tenderly at him as they were stopped at the red light.

I don’t care what anyone says, she thought, gently stroking his hand. I made the right choice.

After a quick supper and a playful shower together, they both slipped under the covers. Tobias’s nuzzled his head against her bosom and was asleep within minutes. Sleep did not come to her, but contentment certainly did. She stroked the top of his head and kissed it tenderly as he slept. After a while, Casey gingerly slipped out of bed and went to the living room, intent on doing some research, but she could not focus. She was becoming more at peace with her decision to stay in Boston. She was eager to put this difficult patch with Tobias behind them. She looked at the clock. It was just 10:00 o’clock, still early enough to call her parents; she had filled them in on her decision but wasn’t able to get into the details. After explaining, they had some concerns but understood and supported her choice in the end.

“After all,” she told them, “it was growing up in our family that made me feel this way. You know I’d never be happy with a successful career and no happy personal life. I want what we had when I was a child. A loving relationship of my own, if I’m lucky, maybe a child or two running underfoot, it’s the right choice.”

“And do you believe Tobias is the one that you’ll have that life with, sweetheart?” Her father asked.

Casey smiled and tugged her robe closer. “I do, Dad. I really love him, and I know he really loves me, and I know we can have a beautiful life together.”

“I believe that too, Case,” he agreed.

“Mom,” Casey said after a moment, “you’re awfully quiet. Do you have anything to say about this?”

“I’m happy for you, baby. I’m proud that you’ve made such strides, that you’re in such a wonderful position, you were offered another, and you have the head on your shoulders to know why you made the choice that you did. That takes so much.”

“I sense a but,” Casey replied with a nervous smile.

“There is no but, per se. I love you, of course, and I love Tobias too. I think you’re a wonderful couple. My only concern is that,” she sighed, “I think the two of you could have handled this situation a little better, and it has me concerned.”

“Rose, it wasn’t handled badly,” David interjected.

“No, it wasn’t,” Rose said, gathering her thoughts. “You’re still a relatively new couple, Casey, and I don’t dismiss that like others would. Even the strongest couples, like your Dad and I, started off as a new couple too, right? And we both knew very early on that this was for good.”

“Yes, we did,” her father agreed.

“But you’re still learning how you will operate as a couple together, and I think you should access where things could have been better. Do you see any places it could have, for either of you?”

“We could have communicated better. There was already tension brewing when we started to talk about a potential move and everything else. On my part, I should have discussed it more with him, even though I knew it was a sensitive topic.”

“Yes,” Rose concurred, “because he obviously knew it was taking place. Talking about it would have been hard, but not talking about it probably just planted more seeds of doubt into his mind.”

“True,” Casey answered quietly, “and I suppose….”

“Suppose what?” Rose asked.

“I should probably talk to him now. Because, even though I’m happy with my decision, I do wish there had been more discussion about a possible solution if I had taken the job. I mean, would he really want to throw us away like that without even trying?”

“I don’t necessarily disagree,” David stated.

“I understand his reasons, and I may even agree with them. But, if I want a future together, we will both have to sacrifice at times. But… did he really attempt that here?”

“Honey, if you really feel he didn't, then that….”

“No, Dad, let me clarify. Just encouraging me to look into the opportunity, knowing the impact it could have on us was a sacrifice, but… we should have talked more, and that’s on me too.”

“Good job, baby,” Rose said proudly. “Just talk. You two have a good thing, and that’s how you learn.”

“OK. I love you guys.”

Giving up on sleeping right away or doing any research, Casey turned on the TV and inadvertently fell asleep on the couch. She only woke when she heard her phone ring at 1:00 AM. Jumping to answer, she found that it never rang at all. Perplexed, when she heard the ring again, she noticed Tobias’s phone. He was so tired, he must have forgotten to bring it to bed. She picked it up to turn the sound off when a text message came through… from Angelica.

Tobias, please call me. I understand that your girl is sticking around after all, but that doesn’t mean we can’t go ahead with what we discussed. I still want you, and I still think this could be a good thing. Just… call me. OK?

Casey swallowed, and her blood went cold. She trusted Tobias implicitly, but… this was two nights… at this hour… and why was he so evasive when Casey asked who she was? She tried to stay calm, but she could feel her heart racing. She was going to heed her parent's advice. She and Tobias were going to have a talk, and soon. She was so anxious that she contemplated waking him when her phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s Ethan. I hate to call at this hour, but Ms. Carpasso went into cardiac arrest. I’m heading to the hospital and….”

“I’ll meet you there.”

“Case, wait, you don’t’ have to….”

“No, I do. This is my patient, and I’m invested in this case. I’m coming.”

“OK. Then I’ll pick you up. Can you be ready in fifteen minutes?”

“I can be ready in ten.”

Casey got dressed, hastily grabbed a folder from her bag, and scribbled a note on top.

T. Emergent issue with Ms. Carpasso, it’s 1:15 AM, heading into work with Ethan, I’ll be in touch. Love you, Casey.

And with that, she was out the door.

____________________

Tobias woke the following morning and headed to the kitchen, assuming Casey was already up. He saw the note on her folder and frowned. He hated when he started the day without her, but they were doctors, and it was all part of the job.

He was shocked that he slept so well without Casey by his side, but he had been exhausted. While he was feeling much better, he hadn’t had that first cup of coffee yet, and the morning grog was still in control. As he grabbed over the counter for his mug, he accidentally knocked Casey’s folder to the floor.

“Crap.”

He put the mug back down and leaned over to gather the papers that had scattered across the floor. As he straightened them out to tuck them back into the folder, one of the pages caught his eye.

Pros … Cons

Wait, something is off… she said she had many reasons…

He turned on the kitchen lights. He was still tired and needed to make sure he was seeing this straight. He was.

She said there were many… that I wasn’t the only…

“I’m the only reason she’s staying,” he gasped out loud, “she told me… she lied to me?”

They were going to need to talk.

Permatags: @a-crepusculo @animesuck3r @annoyingmillenialnewbie @anonymousrookie @binny1985 @bluebelle08 @bluerosesbloom @brokenmemoriesblog @charisworld @coffeeheartaddict2 @crazy-loca-blog @danijimenezv @darkswagamerpiratecowboyclown @differenttyphoonwerewolf @dorisz @everybodyscreamsposts @genevievemd @icecoffee90 @jamespotterthefirst @jennieausten @kachrisberry @kalinahonore @kingliam2019 @lady-calypso @liaromancewriter @lucy-268 @mainstreetreader @mia143 @mjlbwork @mm2305 @parisa-kh @peonierose @phoenixrising308 @pixelberrygirl @potionsprefect @quixoticdreamer16 @rosebudde @schnitzelbutterfingers @secretaryunpaid @shewillreadyou @shygirl4295 @sillydg @spookycolorpeanut @socalwriterbee @thegreentwin @trappedinfanfiction @txemrn @writer-ish @youlookappropriate @zahrachoices

ADDITIONAL TAGS IN REBLOG

#delaying the inevitable #ethan ramsey #tobias carrick #tobias carrick x mc #ethan ramsey x mc #choices fic writers creations #fics of the week #choices fanfic #open heart fanfic #chocies fanfic

68 notes · View notes

genoc1d3r · 3 years

Text

my turn to cry - thoughts on 3-1b

ok this has actually gotta be my favorite chapter cause holy shit so much stuff happened.

I played the Alice/kanna route and afterwards I watched a vod with the reko/shin route in which ranmaru and naomichi died before the banquet, so BIG SPOILER WARNING FOR BOTH ROUTES

Mafia Princess Sara??: Ok so first off, back in the beginning of 2020, I had a theory that Sara was a mafia heiress and that the death game was supposed to be something to “prepare” her. And that her memories were wiped or she was initially supposed to be kept blind to this whole thing (In 3-1a when everybody saw the consent form for the very first time everybody felt a sense of deja vu, except for Sara. Because why would they need her consent when she is the sole focus of the game and it’s all for her) This theory was mainly supplied by my confusion surrounding the hiring of Kai, cause why would mr Chidouin hire a former assassin to protect her?? How did he even know Kai??? But yeah, the whole thing with Shinobu Gokujo and deciding a new don through a death game just adds a lil more validity to this theory.

Sara’s real father: I also had a mini theory that Gashu Satou was her real father, but that was mostly cause of their hair color and how it would def make Sara’s hair color make more sense genetics-wise (but kai has black hair, so its most likely that his mother had black hair, which would also disprove this mini-theory but yk im not here to prove it just talk about it). And that Gashu knew of Mr. Chidouin and gave Sara to him, and it would also explain why mr Chidouin chose Kai of all people to look after her and why Kai could only watch her from a distance, in case she realized the truth that he was her brother/half-brother or something.

GREENBLINGS CANON AAAAAAAA: I love this, I love this so much oh my god. Now I can replay and cry after 2-2 cause nankidai hates us :’). I dont have an issue with this specifically, I’m just a bit bothered by how the whole thing went. There was some buildup yea, and the cg with kanna, kugie, and shin was amazing. And that lil bit about nice hallucinations made me tear up a bit. But, then everybody kinda just moved on? and idk this whole chapter was a fuckign roller coaster I could barely keep up.

Autistic Gin <3: I’m autistic myself and I have seen many characters who are autistic-coded or exhibit many signs of autism but have never been straight up confirmed (Ex: Vera Misham from Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney). And even then, these characters usually share similar personality traits like being aloof and reserved. So it’s nice to see that Gin is representing autism in a relatively realistic manner with his hyperfixations, vocal tics, and issues with socializing. Even after nearly dying like 17 times he’s still doing well and I genuinely wish for his survival and happiness.

Ranmaru’s death: Both of Ranmaru’s deaths, (if you or if you don’t fail the electricity absorption minigame) the death feels so... off? I was really attached to him as a character, yet his death didn’t impact as much as Joe’s or Nao’s did. During his Banquet death, one second he had his really cute smiling sprite but then whoops oh no guys weird drill screw thing kills him (again). I still can barely comprehend it because it all just happened so fast. Like no cg or anything. I was honestly kinda disappointed. The “delayed” one does a better job at his death scene, but again, it was wayyy too quick and completely dismissed as everybody just moves on to defeat Maple 2.0. I at least would’ve appreciated a better transition than Midori just saying “well anyways–”

Ranmaru’s extremely quick descent into madness in the shin route: I actually liked this idea of Ranmaru willing to go to such extremes for Sara. However, theres barely time for any of this to develop? Like again, everything just happens so fast??? I would've definitely liked if there were little hints around before the body discovery that ranmaru was gonna do something like this, just a little time for development would really be cool.

Mr. Policeman/Mr. Tazuna???: After I finished, I actually looked on the wiki to see if it said anything about his son that he mentioned and I found this:

But yeah thats cool

The thing about Q-taro: I’m gonna say it now, I’ve liked Q-taro ever since the aftermath of 1-2, and Q-taro haters have added absolutely nothing to this fandom. Everybody saw him as a child-hater, I see him as a guy who’ll do anything to survive and succeed. I mean that wish is kinda what got him into the death game. And yeah he did try to leave that one time, but that’s what getting thrown into traumatic killing games does for you, most people don’t want to die, they want to live, no matter what it takes. We can’t all be the main character and choose to cooperate with everybody and be the “good” person in that situation. Even Sara has those extremely selfish moments and those intrusive thoughts of winning and leaving.

This whole thing should also be applied to Ranmaru. Ranmaru has gone through so much shit in such a brief amount of time, to the point where he was considering to/actually kill people to escape with the one person he trusted in this hellhole. In that situation, Sara’s kinda at fault here, cause without Joe she’s lost her sense of morality which resulted in her becoming selfish and well... honestly kinda toxic. This emotional manipulation is really what set Ranmaru off, however it was 100% his decision to fucking kill somebody and murder’s bad. Still love him though.

But back to Qtaro, I really enjoyed the extra substance given to him in this chapter, it’s nice to see the development from being selfish to feeling deep remorse to protecting the dolls of the first trial victims, most notably Mai. As he completely forgives her for stabbing him. The chapter did a great job at fueling my already intense love for Q-taro (and it actually convinced my best friend who claims to hate Q-taro with every bone of her body to like him too!) I also love the father-son dynamic between him and Gin. I find this relationship to be really important cause Gin’s father is an abusive alcoholic and Q-taro’s an orphan who’s never had a proper role-model in his life. So it’s beautiful that despite not having anybody there for him when he was younger he can still be a good figure for another child.

Predictions/hopes for the next part:

I just want to see whether Shin already knew about Kanna being his sister, and if he doesn’t I want a reveal. Right. Now.

A Ranmaru/Joe/Q-taro/Kai/ “Hinako” revival, p l e a se they died so soon

More info about the people involved in the Hades Incident/Shinobu Gokujo

More info regarding Meister

Sara going on Maury

Who tf is “Hinako”????

I really hope that there isn't any specific good/bad ending. Like I want every ending to be equally bad and good yk? like equal consequences and good stuff.

Yo wtf happened to Sara’s mom?? Is she gonna come back and play a more important role in the story?? Are her parents gonna come back as floor masters???

I want things to actually change depending on whether you picked Alice or reko, cause so far they’ve played extremely minor roles.

#3 1b spoilers #yttd #yttd spoilers #q taro burgerberg #sara chidouin #ranmaru kageyama #joe tazuna #gin ibushi #kai satou #keiji shinogi #alice yabusame #reko yabusame #shin tsukimi #midori yttd #kanna kizuchi #greenblings #sou hiyori #mai tsurugi

168 notes · View notes

midnightswithdearkatytspb · 4 years

Text

VelvetCardiganBucky’s Recomendations 2021: Week 3 | January 10-16

Welcome to week 3 of my recommendation, if you would like to be featured on a future list, I follow the hashtag #ktkvcbreadinglist, message me, tag me in your future works, or reblog this post and link to your story, one-shot, Masterlist, writing challenge, etc.

Be aware some if not most stories and writers on this list are meant to be consumed by an audience of those 18+. My blog is also an 18+ blog.

«Last Week

Week 4»

My Masterlist

Andy Barber

One-Shot’s

Imagine by @worksby-d • Andy Barber x Reader – Reader takes their chances teasing and tempting Andy, but he can only take so much. | Really good smut.

Good little girl by @donutloverxo • Mob!Andy Barber x Reader — Married life isn’t always easy. Will you be able to solve your problems? (Part 1) | Let me just say the first part sort of darkish but not really? Also I can’t help but read Mob!Andy anything.

Ransom Drysdale

One-Shots

Introducing Chaos by @the-iceni-bitch • Ransom Drysdale x fem!Reader — Ransom brings you to your first Thrombey family dinner, and you make a splash | I laughed so much while reading this and the smut was so good. It’s a really good read.

Drabbles

Playing Games by @just-one-ordinary-fangirl • Ransom Drysdale x Reader — Ransom, the man you loved, did the unforgivable. You confront him about it. | This left me wanting more so badly.

Chris Evans

One-Shot’s

Tonight’s Show by @theblvckvenus • Chris Evans x Fem!Reader — You come home to surprise Chris and his interviewer. But the excitement gets him the better of him and as soon as its over you’re in big trouble. | Came for the show definitely stayed for the smut ;)

Drabbles

Stranger on the Train by @carpediemm-18 • Chris Evans x Female!Reader — Chris comes to the aide of the reader on a late night subway ride. | Sweet and Short

Steve Rogers

Amorosa by @honeysucklesteve • Sugar Daddy!Steve x SugarBaby!Reader — you were drowning, barely surviving in new york city working at an upscale restaurant; the only thing keeping you barely afloat. when steve rogers, vp of stark industries, overhears your troubles, he proposes an agreement that’ll benefit the both of you. should you take it and suffer the consequences is up to you. | I have a huge weakness for Sugar Daddy fics, don’t ask me why but I do. This does not disappoint and it’s got some really good smut in it. Thank you Eleanor!

Bucky Barnes

The Winter Ghost by @msmarvelwrites • Bucky Barnes x Reader — A Devastating car crash causes you to lose your memory and start over. The only thing left in the wreckage was the horrific nightmares which plagued your mind. If you knew what today would entail you would have just stayed in bed. But you didn’t and because of that, everything you knew was about to change. | Get yourself some tissues because you will cry. Brontë wrote the smut moments perfectly that it flowed with the the rest of the chapters so perfectly. Nothing felt rushed, the story was just so perfect.

Picking Up the Pieces [1/3] by @gogolucky13 • Bucky Barnes x Reader — Bucky chooses to stay in his tumultuous relationship knowing you’ll be there to pick up the pieces, until finally you’re not. [Modern AU] | For anyone who has ever felt like they were the second best, this is for you. I teared up while reading. Looking forward to see where this goes.

A Favor [1/?] by @buckysbabygorl • Bucky Barnes x Reader — After breaking up with her boyfriend; Y/N drunkenly admits to the team that she’s never had sex. Not only is she single, but she’s looking. | If you are looking for a laugh, this is the place to go, I’m excited to see where this goes.

One-Shot’s

Teacher’s Pet by @nastybuckybarnes [Dark Fic] • AlphaProfessor!Bucky x Omega!Reader x AlphaProfessor!Steve — The perfect omega doesn’t exist, right? Well, Steve and Bucky think they might’ve just found her in the form of one of their students. And they’re not gonna stop until they have her begging beneath them. | Okay this is such a good A/B/O one-shot. Like it’s got the little bit stuff you need instead of just jumping straight into the good stuff. Which isn’t bad, but sometimes a little bit of a burn, is so good. I highly recommend.

The Thought That Counts by @imerdwarf • Bucky Barnes x Reader — Reader offers to brush Bucky’s hair | All the fluffy fluffy-ness you could want or need.

On His Shoulder by @whateveriwant • Bucky Barnes x Reader — Five separate occasions in which Bucky tells you to put something on his shoulder. | A one-shot that made me wish I was somebodies Jack to somebodies ass. In all honesty Sam does a magnificent job giving reader a nickname and making this one-shot so unbelievably good. You got some laughs, some fluffs, and some smut.

Till The End Of The Line by @chanelsebbie • Bucky Barnes x Reader — You and Bucky go on a mission together to hopefully put a dent in H.Y.D.R.A., but things don’t go as planned. | Shaye how dare you, I cried, this is just so beautifully written and I just want more. Like I was waiting to see more and have him come back. I couldn’t make a link for this one-shot don’t know why, so here you all go.

Drabbles

Boob Move by @nano--raptor • Bucky Barnes x Reader — Y/N falls asleep with her boob hanging out on Bucky’s couch | I’ve never read something so funny yet hot all at once.

Drops of Jupiter by @imerdwarf • Bucky Barnes x Reader – Bucky has a nightmare and you find him on the rooftop looking up at the stars. | All The Fluff!

Lee Bodecker

One Shots

505 by @captain-barnes-writes • Dark!Lee Bodecker x Reader — On her summer break from college, Y/N embarks on an affair with Lee Bodecker. But she realizes that not all that drips from his lips is honey. | If you are looking for some dark Lee Bodecker, but I mean it’s Lee.. with some of angst thrown in and some smut, this one-shot is for you!

Misc.

Drabbles

I See You by @sevans-is-my-weakness • Colin Shea x TJ Hammond x F!Reader — TJ Hammond is your roommate and Colin Shea is your guys neighbor. | Short read that I enjoyed but I suggest also reading through this masterlist, there’s so much I want to share!

Writers

@bbonkyy - is one of my all time favorite writers but I could be bias as we are friends. I know they haven’t published in a really long time but they still deserve some recognition. They do take request, trust me they write some amazing smut! *chefs kiss*

@nsfwsebbie - Please please please do yourself a favor and check out Sabrina’s concepts masterlist, dark fics, and masterlist, I’m slowly making my way through them. Sabrina has got some writing talent in them and I love reading what they put out!

@mypoisonedvine - Looking for an eclectic collection of characters and different choices to choose from? j.d. has you covered with their stories. I love their writing, the dark, the fluffy and smut.

Writing Challenges:

Mostly a Milestone Writing Challenge hosted by @mostly-marvel-musings | What you need to know: You can write for celebrities but they have to be from the MCU or you can write for MCU characters. You do not have to reserve a spot in this challenge. OFC’s, any pairing, AU is welcome. The due date as of right now is the end of 2021 and the theme is... Romance Movies

Shout Out To My...

@redhead-wine-and-literature-club — Mods Scarlett and Ruby say they read and write fanfiction usually with a glass a wine to go with it. They are pairing characters (Steve and Bucky) Sebastian and Chris have played with wines. In February they’ll have daily prompt challenges. You can check out the club's welcome post here!

391 notes · View notes

mygodyouredivine · 3 years

Text

The Hell In Your Eyes - 3

Summary: Loki doesn't meet her until two weeks after his initial imprisonment, but he knows he hates her. He has to hate her. Because the way she talks to him and helps him and saves him meals can't mean anything. She is too soft to deal with Loki, who is hardened with pain, pain, and more pain. And Loki hates soft things.

Have you ever seen the hell in someone’s eyes and loved it anyway?

Characters: Loki Laufeyson/(f)Reader

Warnings: brief mentions of violence

Word Count: 4836

Previous Chapter

Loki is annoyed.

Loki has sat through thousands of years of political dinners, exchanging thinly veiled insults under a layer of diplomacy, all while smiling through his teeth. Loki has spewed sensical nonsense, charming naive, innocent maids and sweeping young stable boys off their feet. Loki has endured Odin’s wrath — in all its horrible glory — countless times, and never once had he shed a tear, nor had a single cry escaped his lips.

The whole of Asgard had coined him the Dark Prince — and who was Loki to disappoint?

He had long since learned people saw what they expected to see.

And so as the entire realm rejoiced in his demise, as Laufey left him to die, as Odin condemned him for eternity, as Thor abandoned him, as Frigga had sided with her husband again and again and again, Loki maintained his carefully constructed front.

Yet one encounter with a mortal, and he had unraveled at her feet.

If physically kneeling before the wretched creature wasn’t enough, he knew she had seen past his mask. By the time he had regained his composure, he was sure she had seen him.

It won’t happen again.

Loki is a god, and gods do not crack. Gods maintain their image, regardless of circumstance. Gods do not show weakness, do not show vulnerability.

This is a lesson Loki knows well, a lesson etched into his skin countless times by Odin’s hand.

And yet for each time Odin reinforced this lesson, the very same lesson was burned away by Thanos a thousand more.

Loki tried, he truly did. Loki maintained his godly facade for an impressive amount of time, resisting as his body was taken apart over and over and over again. Perhaps it wasn’t as long as he thought. Loki feels as if his entire life was spent doused in agony, spent with his flesh melting off and his bones withering away.

Ultimately, a god is no match for a Titan.

But a mortal is no match for a god.

And yet, Loki has found himself at her feet — at her mercy — twice.

Even after, Loki couldn’t bring himself to summon his cruel exterior. Perhaps it had to do with the way she had waltzed into his space, all soft and defenseless, carrying that deplorable drink as if it was the elixir of eternal life (unfortunately, it tasted just as divine). Perhaps it was his body, still sated and full for the first time in months, reminding him of the food — the debt — he owes. Perhaps it was the way she held out her arm towards him, even though he could see it shaking.

Whether it was any of these things or none at all, Loki’s cool mask of indifference was rendered utterly useless at her delicate, mortal hands.

Loki hates her.

His hatred fills every fiber of his being. It’s a scalding, fiery hatred, much unlike the frozen excuse of Loki’s heart. His frost giant heritage seems to reject her very being.

Loki hates her voice, hates her hands, hates her. He hates how she makes him falter when there is no place for mistakes.

Loki’s thoughts are interrupted by Thor, who enters Loki’s quarters without an ounce of hesitation — ever the righteous, confident, arrogant bastard.

Ah, but Loki almost forgot. Thor is not the bastard — Loki is. How despicable; for really, Loki can not even call himself a bastard. Yet, ‘the Bastard Son of Odin’ has a certain charm to it. Perhaps another false title for his collection.

“Loki!” Thor booms, “Here are your clothes that Lady Angel washed. You should be grateful brother, for she offered of her own volition — ”

Is it so surprising someone would offer to help Loki without external influence?

“ — to see and visit you! You are doing well. I am happy to see you are finally making an effort to get to know all of our friends — ”

Thor is happy? For Loki, or for himself? Why must Loki, even now, strive to prove himself to Thor? Why is Loki’s worth solely dependent on Thor’s judgement?

“ — and Lady Angel is absolutely wonderful. I am delighted to see you two getting along so well! I can’t believe you finally made a friend— ”

At this, Loki’s composure cracks for the second time that day.

“What am I? A pathetic child wandering aimlessly through a school corridor? A helpless hatchling at the mercy of others — groveling for the bare minimum? Who are you to congratulate me for ‘making a friend?’ She is not a friend ,” Loki spits out. He can feel his teeth grinding against each other, his fingernails once again digging into his palms. “She is nothing more than another worthless mortal, unworthy of even breathing the same air as I, and yet you suggest I be grateful?”

Thor advances on Loki, his eyes hardening. The atmosphere is tense; unlike the typical bickering between the brothers, Loki identifies something distinctly different in the way the air vibrates. The space between the two gods crackles. “Watch yourself brother —”

Brother. The word grates upon Loki’s nerves. How can Thor so carelessly throw the word around, even knowing of its false implications — implications and lies Loki foolishly believed.

Sometimes Loki wonders if Thor does it on purpose.

“Do you hear yourself Thor? Bending yourself over backwards to defend this wasted excuse of consciousness — you are the King of Asgard. What is she? She is nothing.”

And now Loki is no longer staring at his brother, but the ceiling of his prison. His back is slammed against Stark’s hardwood floors and there is sharp ringing in his ears, likely the result of the crack in the floor right behind where his head is currently embedded.

Loki almost laughs.

Truly, it is comical — comical that even now, Thor’s first instinct is to physically threaten Loki. As if Loki doesn’t almost enjoy it.

But Loki’s laugh catches in his throat, prevented from escaping by the large hand tightening around his airway.

Thor’s hand is around Loki’s neck — a mirror of His.

A thousand years Loki has known Thor. A thousand years of childish brawls, foolhardy battles, pointless arguments. How many times has Loki betrayed Thor? Thor betrayed Loki? And yet, Loki believed he knew his brother’s character.

A thousand years Loki has known Thor, but never once has he thought Thor to be cruel.

Oh how wrong he is.

Thor’s hands are gripping Loki’s neck and for the life of him Loki can’t breathe. He tries to draw air into his lungs — lungs that are screaming with a familiar ache — and fails. Phantom pains flicker across his entire body and somehow, in the second before his vision goes black, Loki manages to croak out a strangled wheeze of a laugh.

Loki is once again strapped upon a bed of coals, once again stabbed with blades of flame, once again torched with fire so hot he freezes. Loki remembers the only other time he begged — begged and pleaded for the sweet mercy of death, all while knowing death was a pleasure he was never to be granted.

Loki is once again kneeling — boneless — at the feet of a Titan, looking up into a face promising endless pain, a face painted with the patience of a thousand moons and splattered with the ruined blood of a Frost Giant.

Loki did not know that a Frost Giant’s blood could boil.

Ah, but the Mad Titan knew, and he ensured Loki would never forget.

Loki recalls the moment he let go — an eerie echo of his fall from grace, his fall from the Bifrost. And he remembers the horribly invasive power of the scepter, along with the blessed relief and utter disregard for self preservation that followed.

And it is this — the relief — that plagues Loki. He does not fool himself; Loki may be the God of Lies, but he has no reason to lie to himself . It is not the destruction of New York nor the deaths at his hand that weigh upon his shattered mind. No, it is the fact that Loki found solace in his actions.

Make no mistake — Loki does not rejoice in his crime, but nor could he say he regrets it.

For if Loki were given the choice, he could not — would not — choose to spare Midgard at the cost of his own sanity.

(But Loki was never given a choice.)

Alas, Loki is already insane.

The Mad Titan has taken so much from Loki.

Physically, Loki has long since disregarded his own body. He remembers the beginning of his torture, when he still held the title of 'Prince of Asgard,' when he spoke with arrogance and oozed of indignantion. Oh how naive he had been. When the first whips had landed across his skin, Loki's thoughts could never have anticipated what the coming months would entail. Loki did not once stop to consider how he would escape the clutches of his captor — oh the confidence he held! — but instead lamented the scars he would surely have to bear. Dimly, Loki recalls worrying over his marred skin, irritated at the blemishes he would surely have to cover when taking future lovers.

Loki scoffs.

Loki does not recognize the man who spent time thinking of lovers. Or of his physical appearance. Or of his interests. Or of any other insignificant pleasure that ultimately contributes to the annihilation of a soul.

(Even now, Loki carries with him an irrational fear of physical touch — a seed planted by the Mad Titan that Loki cannot gouge out, not even if he tore open his very being.)

In fact, Loki wondered if his corporeal form had even existed anymore. But most of all, more than the ruination of his physical form, Loki mourns the damnation of his mind.

Ultimately, the Mad Titan did triumph over Loki. For no matter how many times Loki escapes, fakes his death, runs away, he can never evade the visions that haunt his mind, the voices that infect his thoughts, the termites eating away at what remains of Loki’s sanity.

(If Loki were given a choice, he would have chosen death again and again and again.)

Alas, Loki was not — is not — given a choice, for suddenly he is not lying on a bed of coals, but on his apartment floor again. Thor has since removed his hand from Loki’s neck and Loki half wishes Thor just kept it there. Just kept on squeezing and squeezing and squeezing until Loki died on that bed of coals.

Loki wonders, if he were to die at Thor’s hand, would his brother feel remorse? Or perhaps, more realistically, relief?

Unfortunately, Loki is not dead, and Thor is gazing at him, concern evident in his gaze. As if Thor wasn’t the one who put Loki in this condition — wasn’t the one who greedily snatched all of Odin’s affection, wasn’t the one who pushed Loki out of favor, wasn’t the one who led his brainless minions in a brash suicide mission, as if Thor wasn’t the one who stared Loki in the eye as Loki let go into the abyss.

As if Thor wasn’t the first domino in a long ripple effect that eventually drowned Loki in his sins.

Thor was the smooth pebble that young children skipped over lakes, just barely skimming the surface of a tempting downfall — nevertheless gracefully leaping unscathed across the reflective waters. Yet Loki was the jagged, unskippable rock, destined to fall through the air and fall through the water with no hesitation. Loki has long since come to terms with this simple fact.

No longer does Loki resent his brother, for he understands: light can only shine in the presence of darkness. And if Loki is condemned to darkness — so be it.

Loki does not resent his brother, but oftentimes Loki despises his lightness . What some might say is endearing — the inability for Thor to give up — is just a burden. Even now, Thor still thinks he can change Loki, can fix him. Thor still thinks that by vouching for Loki and providing Loki a place to live and surrounding Loki with Thor’s friends that he can mend Loki’s broken soul and bring back the brother he once had. Thor is still in denial — he refuses to grasp the very simple concept that Thor’s brother — the Second Prince of Asgard, God of Lighthearted Mischief — is long dead. And so Thor continues to try. But light yelling into the darkness does not change it.

And even now, with Thor looming above Loki, Loki does not resent his brother.

But Loki resents Thor’s very being — the core of who Thor is. Thor is a duality; one of naivety and compassion, yet tainted — or perhaps embellished — with a smidge of cruelty and arrogance.

And as Thor is speaking to Loki, mouth forming words Loki is too tired to hear, Loki simply lies on the floor, limbs relaxed around him, throat sore, and does the only thing he can do when feeling so utterly empty.

Loki laughs.

______________________________

Midgard is rather charming in some regards.

Loki will eventually have to investigate the laundry process, for he has just now made the curious discovery that freshly dried clothes are warm . He suspects they were warmer right after they were dried, but he can still feel the presence of the heat, lingering within the very fabric of his garments. He wonders just how much they were heated up to — would it have burnt his frozen hands at the peak of its fiery glory?

No, Loki’s hands are too well accustomed to fire now.

But he doubts that her hands are. He envisions Angel pulling his clothes out of the dryer, her hands touching the same clothes that he has worn, that he will wear, that he is currently touching.

Yet is it entirely possible Loki is standing around, imagining a scene that never played out, for it was not Angel who brought Loki’s laundry back to him, but his dearest brother. Looking at his pile of clothes again, Loki takes in the telltale signs of Thor. The messily folded shirts stare back at Loki, mocking him.

He wonders if she ever even did any part of his laundry. Perhaps she only offered it as a way to ease the uncomfortable tension that had arisen earlier. Or rather, (and his stomach twists uncomfortably at the thought) she lugged his laundry basket downstairs and dumped it straight into Thor’s arms.

Why else would she refuse his help to accompany her?

A twinge of something rises up within Loki as he realizes she accepted Thor’s offer to bring his clothes back. Or, much more likely, she had pushed the task onto Thor in a desperate attempt to avoid encountering him again.

Not that Loki could blame her.

And yet the uncomfortable sensation within Loki only grows, and he realizes that he feels something akin to disappointment. Loki cannot allow himself to feel disappointment. He had long since learned not to expect anything from anyone — or perhaps, much more cynically, to only depend on — to trust — himself.

Trust, Loki knows, is a fickle concept the naive embrace. Trust itself is ill fated, the certainty of an inevitable betrayal the same as the certainty that one day everyone living on this cursed realm will perish.

Loki hates Angel. He hates how she pretends to care for him, hates how she imitates Thor, hates how she always finds a way to break him, and Loki hates how Angel makes him feel.

Loki's silent anger boils inside of him — like the steady countdown of a ticking bomb — manifesting itself out of him as the laundry basket is violently launched across the room.

He hates how he feels absolutely no satisfaction at the way the freshly clean clothes scatter across the floor, hates how he lost control, and hates how the damned mortal forces him to feel emotions he does not want to feel .

Sometimes all Loki can do is hate.

______________________________

The heat from the clothes have long since seeped into the floor.

The sun is just now setting, dousing Loki’s room in a fiery glow. Warm light spills across Loki’s bookshelves, his impeccably made bed, the clothes strewn around his floor. Loki sits on the ground, bare of his illusions, allowing himself to just be .

Staring across the room, he notices tendrils of light carefully curling around the air, miniscule particles of dust dancing in the golden glow. This is a gold Loki enjoys. Unlike the brash, loud character of Thor’s gold — of Asgard’s gold, this is a much softer, gentle color. The comforting hue reminds Loki of his mother, and against his will, he feels a wall of despair beginning to build within his chest.

For a second, Loki loses himself as the wall crashes over him. He drops his head, allowing his hair to dangle in front of his face, obscuring his view of the floating particles. He feels like a child — wants nothing more in this moment than to run to Frigga, for her floral scent to fill his senses as she envelopes him in her arms. What Loki wouldn’t give to have Frigga’s delicate fingers comb through his hair just once more, for her soft lips against his forehead, murmuring words of comfort.

But he can’t have that. Instead, here he is, sitting on the floor of a glorified prison in the midst of a community of people who hate him, with nothing but Thor to act as his buffer.

Looking up, Loki gazes at the honeyed light as it glides over a particular heap of clothing. He watches, mesmerized, as the light gently moves, unhurriedly bathing each corner of the fabric in its rich glow.

If he were still on Asgard, Loki would most likely have been reading, thoroughly immersed in some story or another. The sun would have showered his pages in its quiet glow, lighting the words aflame. He would have taken a stroll in his mother’s gardens, breathing in the sweet scent of her flowers as he sat in his favorite hidden alcove. He would have taken out his book and continued to read, read until the golden hue of the sun was replaced by the tender shine of the moon. Only then would Loki return, serenely walking back to his chambers, stopping only to retrieve a cup of tea, and resume his reading on his balcony.

Loki wants that.

Loki wants an afternoon to himself, with no worries plaguing his mind.

Loki wants to be able to read, and to do so in an environment which permits him to let his guard down.

Loki wants to sit outside, surrounded by flowers, and watch as the sun transitions into the moon.

Loki wants to indulge in a hot cup of tea as he watches the moonlight spills across the pages of his book.

Loki wants so many things — and he can’t have any of them.

Standing up, Loki decides he has spent enough time reminiscing over what he cannot have today. He feels sticky and hot and cold and hungry and all he wants right now , is a long shower.

And so Loki walks over to the same pile of clothes, now dull and abandoned by the sun, gazing disapprovingly downwards. Thor is truly an imbecile, for he has not even managed to separate their clothes correctly. Loki is currently staring at a dark green sweatshirt, one he knows for a fact he has never seen before. Tiredly, he tosses it upon his bed and scoops up a clean change of clothes, then turns around and trodds slowly into the bathroom.

______________________________

Water droplets rain all around Loki, swiftly sliding down his body.

He doesn’t particularly enjoy showering — it reminds him too much of another substance: denser, stickier, and much more red, trickling down his skin. Loki much prefers baths. Baths, however, render their subject very much vulnerable, and Loki does not fancy risking any more vulnerability than strictly necessary.

So Loki is standing in the shower, unabashedly soaking up the shallow warmth the water provides. Surely if Thor could see him, his brother would lecture Loki on wasting Midgard’s precious resources. But, Loki reasons, if Stark truly possesses the excess of wealth he boasts of, Loki’s water usage will not be of much concern to the man. And so this is a luxury Loki will grant himself.

The shower is one place where Loki feels the safest, where he allows his thoughts to wander and drift into otherwise forbidden territories. Today especially has been challenging, and even his muscles seem to ache, the fibers pulling away from each other, trying to rip Loki apart from the inside out. His mind is exhausted, filled with swirling thoughts of Frigga and Angel and Thor, with the occasional Odin and Titan intruding whenever a particular body part cries out.

And as Loki gazes down at his body, the disfigured canvas of scars stare back at him and he attempts to soothe away the countless aches. No matter how much time has passed and how much magic Loki pours into himself, the pains never seem to retreat. Rationally, Loki knows it doesn’t make sense. He knows his magic is fully capable of healing himself, knows that by all accounts he is healed.

But Loki also knows he does not imagine the sharp pains coursing through his veins.

He is fighting himself — the part of himself that does not want the pain to stop. Because all Loki knows is pain, and he fears the absence of pain almost as much as he dreads its glorious presence.

Loki raises his head, allowing for the stream of water to bruise his face. And if Loki’s closed eyes leak the occasional tear, no one would know.

______________________________

Loki’s self destructive spiraling is abruptly cut short by three succinct knocks from his bedroom door. Still soaking in the shower, Loki debates whether or not to answer; after all, he truly has no desire to see his brother again today. Or preferably, ever again. Unfortunately, Loki is all too aware that if he does not answer the door to let Thor in, Thor will simply let himself in. And if there’s anything worse than seeing Thor, it will be seeing a displeased Thor while Loki stands nude and wet.

Reluctantly, Loki turns off his shower, changes into his freshly washed ‘sweatpants’, and leisurely walks towards the door. He is honestly surprised Thor hasn’t invited himself in yet. He is more surprised when he finally opens the door and is promptly met with — not Thor’s brutish face, but the goddamned mortal.

She stands there, in front of his door, barely out of arm's reach. Loki can’t help but drink her in. He notices her hair, laying loosely around her face, framing her profile. She’s sporting a sweater, much too warm for the present weather. Its collar is stretched out over years of use, teasing his eyes with a fraction of her collarbones peaking through. Her legs are barely covered by absurdly short shorts, and Loki feels the back of his ears heating up. Hurriedly, he averts his eyes, falling down to her feet, once again hugged by soft looking socks — mismatched.

His scrutinization is interrupted by her voice; so soft.

“Hey! Sorry if I interrupted you. I heard you were in the shower but I was going around taking everyone’s dinner orders. We’re getting Chinese.” She tilts her head to the side, lifting her chin ever-so-slightly, distractedly exposing the tantalizing skin of her neck. She swallows, and Loki’s eyes discreetly follow the bob of her throat. “I was just wondering if you wanted anything?”

It takes a moment for Loki to register her question and another for him to process it. She is going to order dinner? For him? And she is asking him for his preference? Loki has not had the privilege of preferring anything in a long, long time. Damn this mortal.

“I am not familiar with this particular cuisine, nor Midgard’s in particular.”

She meets his eyes then, and only after does it occur to him that her eyes had been previously glued to his abdomen. His abdomen, he realizes which has been bare this entire interaction. “That doesn’t answer my question.”

He forces himself to roll his eyes, running a hand through his still dripping hair to hide the scarlet his ears have surely become. “I am saying that I do not have a preference, woman.”

She lifts her shoulders briefly in a gesture Loki has come to associate with Midgard’s daftness and promptly moves closer to him. Instinctively, Loki takes a step back, then curses himself for doing so. He truly must be losing it, backing away from a defenseless mortal. But she doesn’t push further, instead tilting her head at that angle again, asking him another question.

“Can I come in?”

Loki hesitates. He doesn’t understand her motives, doesn’t know if this is a trick the Avengers have set up or perhaps a test designed by his brother. All he knows is that Angel is staring at him with her eyes wide and innocent and completely devoid of deceit.

Angel must carry magic or Loki must be possessed by the Mind Stone again, for against his will, Loki steps to the side, allowing her to brush past him. The sleeve of her sweater comes into contact with Loki’s stomach, and he jerks away.

Awkwardly, Loki closes his door and turns to face the mortal, noting how hilariously out of place she looks, standing in the midst of Loki’s domain. With a wave of his hand, the previously scattered articles of clothing fly onto his bed, meticulously folding themselves. Angel’s surprised, quiet gasp does not escape his notice. She walks towards his bed, small hand landing on Thor’s sweatshirt.

“Take that when you leave.” Loki internally bristles at his own tone, noticing how Angel’s shoulders locked up when he spoke and did not relax when he stopped. “Please,” he adds.

To his surprise (again), Angel approaches him, sweater in hand. “Why?”

At this, Loki is caught off guard. Without warning, he is overwhelmed by distaste. His patience has been tested over and over again, and he does not have even a drop more to deal with this mortal’s incompetence. His hatred for her rushes back, multiplied a thousandfold. Who does she think she is and why will she not leave Loki alone? Why must she cut short his relaxation, intrude upon his personal space, inquire after him when he knows — he knows — she does so unwillingly? Why is she holding up Thor’s goddamned sweater, pretending not to know why Loki hates it so? As if she doesn’t know it belongs to Thor.

In fact, Loki is positive she is intimately aware of whom it belongs to, undoubtedly so. He hates Angel, hates her for reluctantly offering her help, hates her for her smoothies, hates her for asking him about his preferences. Briefly, he envisions snapping her neck. Effortlessly. But the image makes him recoil, bringing about not satisfaction, but horror.

His fists clench, his broken fingernails once again digging into bruised skin. It costs Loki an immeasurable amount of self control not to simply throw her out, hurl her from his quarters. Instead, he snaps at her.

“Girl, do not test my patience. I am warning you, it has been a very long day and if you do not exit extremely promptly, it will not end well for one of us.”

Loki hates the way her shoulders tense up again, hates the way she physically flinches away at his dismissal.

Loki hates how though he can sense her increasing heartbeat, her nervousness, Angel still looks him in the eye and informs him, in a terrified voice coated with forced calm, “I’m sorry to hear that Loki. I added this sweater into your laundry after it was done, but I should have known it would not have been welcome.”

Loki hates how she then drops her eyes, staring intently at her mismatched socks.

“I’ll just leave your dinner outside.”

Loki hates how she leaves, her hands gripping Thor’s — his — sweatshirt tightly, footsteps moving at a much brisker pace.

Loki hates how Angel closed off, how he closed her off.

Loki hates how Angel clearly did do his laundry.

Loki hates how Angel thought of him, giving him an extra sweatshirt, offering him a choice for dinner.

Loki hates Angel more than he hates Thor, more than he hates Odin.

Loki hates Angel more than he hates the Mad Titan.

The only person Loki hates more than Angel is himself.

Fuck.

______________________________

We don't even ask for happiness, just a little less pain.

- Charles Bukowski

______________________________

Previous Chapter

Taglist: @spacedaddydinn @doct0rstrange

#Loki Laufeyson #loki x reader #Loki Laufeyson x Reader #the hell in your eyes #thiye #loki x you #friends to enemies to lovers #reader insert #loki fic #jouce writes

60 notes · View notes

justkending · 4 years

Text

The Number One Rule. Chapter 16.

Series Summary: Y/N has always been seen as “Steve’s rambunctious sister.” However, she grew up, graduated, and moved to London to study abroad for 4 years and get her bachelor's degree. The girl that returns looks nothing like the teenager that left, but don’t worry the attitude is still there and stronger than ever. What’s to come of the two grown adults that used to push each other's buttons, but now have a lot more in common than they’ve ever realized.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Y/N Rogers (Steve’s little sister)

Word Count: 5700+

A/N: This chapter is going to give us quite a bit of background information and some throwback memories. I really enjoyed writing this one and creating a past for these characters. All of them. Let me know what you think! I’m so excited to share this one with you all:)

Chapter Sixteen:

“You know, I thought that we were close enough that you could come to me with this kind of thing. That you wouldn’t feel like you had to hide it from me. Y/N and you both,” he said with pursed lips. “Guess I was wrong.”

With that he turned back and walked to his car. Bucky watched as he started the engine, pulled out, and disappeared.

What the hell kind of mess just happened?

Bucky stood there for a second. He couldn’t wrap his head around what just went down in the slightest. Steve was no longer angry at him, he caught onto that. Or at least he thought that was the case.

No, Steve was disappointed. That was far worse than hatred coming from your best friend. Coming from anyone really, but the person you’ve been joined at the hip to, for 26 years? Yeah. That punches you in the gut and knocks all the wind out of you.

Eventually, remembering Y/N was upstairs probably pacing the ground and biting her nails not knowing what was happening, he started moving to the back porch steps.

He wasn’t even three steps into the kitchen before Y/N was around the corner rushing to him.

“What happened?” she said looking up at him and instantly putting her hands around his upper arm. “Is that blood? Did he hit you?” she said gently, but urgently as she grazed over the split lip. “Oh, I’m going to murder him,” she said through her teeth, immediately moving to the back door.

Bucky caught her by the waist and pulled her back into him.

“Don’t. Don’t. He’s not out there. He left,” he explained as he tugged her back into the kitchen.

“He left? He just punched you and left?” she questioned. A fire in her eyes swirling just as much as the storm Steve had in his earlier. The types of rage are completely opposite, but at the same time just as furious.

“We talked after he punched me, but can’t say I didn’t deserve it.” Disappointment dripped from his own words.

“You didn’t deserve it, B. No one deserves getting punched about something like this.” The fire started to dim as she focused her energy back on the brunette that still had her wrapped in his arms by her waist. His eyes downcast, looking as if in another world. “Hey, talk to me. What happened?” Gently she brought her hand to his cheek and convinced him to look at her. “Talk to me, please.”

They moved to the living room and sat on the couch facing each other. Bucky had almost seemed distant, as though touching or being close to her now was a crime. No doubt Steve’s words had an effect on him in the moment.

He explained pieces of what happened. Mainly just how Steve was upset thinking they were sleeping together, and when he cleared that up, he had just expressed his disappointment of the two. He was upset and deeply hurt that they felt like they had to hide this from him.

“Could he blame us though? He literally split your lip after finding out,” she motioned to him, scooting closer to place the ice covered by a washcloth they got earlier, to his lip.

“I’ve taken harder hits, doll. And even if he got me pretty good, I could tell he was holding back at least some.” He placed his hand over hers and sent a sad smile before taking the homemade ice pack for himself.

“This is going to be hard to come back from with him, isn’t it?” she asked, saddened by the pain she caused her brother. Bucky could see multiple thoughts running through her head as her eyes moved back and forth while looking down. “We aren’t going to end this though, are we?”

Her tone broke Bucky’s heart hearing her say that. The pain, worry, and complete devastation of the idea was playing like a movie in her eyes.

“What? No!” he said, quickly shutting that idea down as he dropped the rag and grabbed both her hands. “I love Steve and I would do anything for him, but I have to draw a line- Well, I have to draw a line when it affects my happiness.” She looked at him hopeful. “In the end, I know he’ll come around. I’m not going to lose you just because of this hiccup. Sure, I don’t really know how long Steve’s going to hate me, but we’ll work it through. Nothing can hurt us that bad. You know that.”

“I do, but it still worries me.”

“Don’t worry, Y/N/N. Really, he’ll come around. It’ll just take time.”

___________________

And boy was it taking its sweet ass time…

Two weeks had passed. Bucky and Y/N still went about their love life the same way. Not wanting to rub it in Steve’s face, they steered clear of Bucky’s shared home with him. Bekah had been talking to a guy herself, and spent a lot of nights over there, so they took advantage of her empty apartment when they could.

Luckily they wouldn’t have to worry about that too long as Y/N was looking into renting a flat herself to get some of her independence back from coming home. Of course, she worried about her mom, but Sarah was sweet and said she understood and was excited for her. She was taking more shifts at the hospital anyway, so they rarely saw each other with their opposite schedules. Sarah did make her promise Sunday dinners to continue, as it was tradition.

Speaking of, Steve had conveniently had a work thing come up each time, so he had missed the past two weeks.

“This is so unlike him. He usually moves his work schedule around Sunday dinners, not the other way around,” Sarah sighed as she handed a bowl of a roast over to her daughter.

“He’s not too happy with me, Ma. I think he’s avoiding me,” she mumbled. She was all happy to be over before her mom mentioned him.

“Why would he do that? You just got home a little over 2 months ago. That’s barely anytime I would hope for you two to start a fight up. Let alone one that I’m realizing is going on two weeks,” she said with a knowing look as she sat across from Y/N.

“It’s hard to explain. He has a good reason, but he’s also being childish about it,” she said poking at the potatoes and beef on her plate. An old irish recipe.

“Hmmm, I see.” Causally, Sarah went back to eating as if her understanding wasn’t questionable.

“You see? What exactly do you see?” she asked tilting her head and raising an eyebrow at her mom. She knew that look. It was the, ‘mom knows everything, even if you think she doesn’t,’ look.

“It’s quite obvious to anyone who has eyes, but I’m not going to put my comments where they don’t belong.” Again, so casual as she took a drink of water and went back to eating.

“Sarah Rogers, you little spy. What do you know?” Y/N chuckled. Her tone was joking, but deep down intrigued.

“Why don’t you say it dear? I don’t want to have my foot in my mouth if I’m wrong,” she gestured. “Not that I’ll be wrong, but I’ll give you a chance,” she winked.

She eyed her mom for a second. The two sending the same stares and telepathically talking.

Then it hit her.

“Oh my GOD! You know?!” Y/N jumped almost out of her seat, but considering the table was in the way, she sat up straight and hit her knee. “Ow, shit.”

“Language,” her mom chided.

“Sorry,” she mumbled. “But you knew?” her disbelief coming back. “How long have you-?”

“Lord, as soon as Bucky set his eyes on you coming home. I mean of course I wasn’t there when you saw each other for the first time after all these years, but when we had dinner that night? He was practically fawning over you,” Sarah shrugged, going back to her meal.

“He was?”

“Plain as day, Mini. Though, I wouldn’t put it past you to not notice, considering he acted almost the same when you two were in highschool.”

“What?!” Y/N jumped again. Her food was long forgotten.

“Actually at that point, I think you both were blind to it. Bucky may not even known back then,” she tilted her head.

“Okay mom, you’re throwing a lot of things at me at once. I can’t keep up, can you elaborate some?” Y/N threw her hands up as if to stop her from moving forward anymore.

“Where to start?” Sarah put her silverware down and brought her elbows up on the table before interlocking her fingers and looking off as if watching the scenes replay in front of her.

“Freshman year, you were part of the crew that was in charge of the cancer carnival to raise all the money for that charity. You had come home and were going on and on and on about all the different ways you had come up to raise that money. Photobooths, dunk tanks, crazy games, snowcones, and all that fun stuff. Bucky and Steve had just come in from playing basketball in the driveway and were getting something to drink. Steve laughed as you went on and teased you about how you should be put in the dunk tank, and Bucky just had this look in his eye. Pure admiration for your excitement for that specific cause. That and you told your brother off showing even more how dedicated you were.”

“That was oddly specific…”

“Oh, I’m just getting started…” Sarah had a devilish amused look on her face. “But I guess I’ll just stick with one for each year.” She waved off. “Sophomore year, you were invited to prom from an upperclassman. Who was it?”

“Peter Quill. Ugh, I remember that. He ended up ditching me that night halfway through the prom.”

“Hmm mm, Steve had called saying they were leaving early to bring you home. You were upset and bored not knowing really anyone else there.”

“I honestly had only said yes because I wanted to go to the dance with another upperclassman and rub it in Brock’s face at the time. Bucky and Steve were seniors, so they were there too…” She thought back. Her chin in her hand as she listened to the stories.

“Well, Steve brought you home and Bucky was with him. I guess Bucky’s girlfriend at the time had the flu or something and couldn’t go, so they went with a group of guys.” Sarah got a little sidetracked, but quickly reeled in it. “Anyway, when the night was over, they had already planned on going to Bucky’s for the night. However, I came around the corner after they dropped you off and were about to head back out, and I saw Bucky was convincing Stevie to stay here that night.”

“What? That’s why they were here? I remember that actually... There was an after party at another seniors house.” Sarah raised an eyebrow knowing what happened after parties, but not knowing that was where her son had originally planned to go. “Sorry, but you know how high schoolers are. Don’t act shocked,” she chuckled. “I remember them going, but they came home pretty early.”

“Wonder why…” Sarah sighed to herself taking another bite of food before it got cold.

Not hearing her, Y/N went on.

“Bucky and I talked that night at like 1 in the morning to like 4. We ran into each other in the kitchen getting a late night snack, and it turned into a whole deep talk,” she thought back. “One of the few times we had a conversation like adults instead of pushing each other's buttons.”

“Yes, and you were so stunned and surprised by it, you gushed about it to me later,” Sarah nodded. “Little did you know, you had woken me up at the time and when I came to see what all the noise was in the kitchen, you and Bucky were laughing about something on the kitchen floor with your backs propped up on the cabinets. A stash of junk food sitting between you two as you talked.”

“But what does that have to do with-?”

“I came in when you were going on and on about a new history topic that you had dived into that month. You didn’t even notice him with wide eyes and absolute fondness for how smart and passionate you were on the subject. You were too busy talking to notice, I’m sure,” she laughed.

Y/N had to think back a little further for that memory, but it popped up. “Oh God, I was going on about the progression of execution styles in the Roman times,” she threw her head in her hands of embarrassment.

“Yeah, crazy thing to be looking at a girl like that in that kind of conversation. Talking about chopping people’s heads off wouldn’t be something I see a boy fawning over, and he looked at you like it was the most amazing story to be told. But then again, there he was. Completely blind himself.”

“Wow… I forgot about that moment. I remember the night, but some details are a little fuzzy. Not that one…” she whispered.

“And the way you talked about it the next day? You had the same look. Subtle and hidden, but deep down I could see the wonder in your eyes.”

Y/N smiled as she leaned forward like a child at story time. “What about Junior year?”

“Let’s see. By then Bucky and Steve had gone overseas. We didn’t see much of them…” Sarah was slightly saddened. She was proud of her son in those moments, but the fear and worry that comes with sending a child into war isn’t that fond of a feeling.

Y/N reached across grabbing her moms hand and giving her an encouraging soft smile. Clearing her throat she started again.

“In saying that, there may have been a moment in person, but they only came back for a month that whole year. I didn’t like that year,” she shook her head. “Who sent you all those letters though?” She asked looking back with that same knowing look.

“Steve… and Bucky. I wrote to them both, and I was surprised when Bucky asked me to write to him as well.”

“Didn’t expect that one, hmm?” Sarah smiled. “I don’t know what was written in them, for all I know he was just sending you jokes and teasing you from over the sea like your brother did here and there... But I have a feeling there were some personal things said too.”

“I actually kept all of those. They are in a box in my room. I have Steves in there too,” she smiled fondly as if she had completely forgotten them. Though she could never actually do that. She remembers very well all the excitement of running and checking the mail in hopes of another one being delivered. From both of them.

Her mom was right, there were a few teasing and goofy ones, but the longer he was over there, the more serious they got. There were some crazy terrifying stories and confessions to fear in those. He had mentioned he was only writing to his family and her, but she always wondered why he sent her things like that and not his family.

She had asked Becca once about a letter they had received, and they were sweet, but they disguised the sense of fear and longing to be home. He didn’t want his family to worry.

That’s when Y/N started taking their writing more seriously. She would practically let him vent and write out all his struggles and frustrations while over there, and Y/N would send back distractions of random history facts (which by the way, he asked for personally even if he jested her at home for them). Then she would tell him about her week, something else he asked for, and try to send words of wisdom and reassurance for his time.

He appreciated those and Y/N appreciated him trusting her with those thoughts. It’s not like he could send them to Steve when Steve was going through his own war over there with him.

How did she not pick up on the rise of finding respect for the other during then? The start of full-on admiration.

“Those letters stopped coming in the next year,” Y/N deflated in her spot. The next wave of memories contained her senior year. “Well, they came, but I never could get around to writing back with everything happening.”

“You’re graduate year… Steve came back home after we got the news. It took him a while to get approved, but they dismissed him from duty out of how much he had already served in his short time there. Brave man, your brother,” she says chuckling to cover the tears that were already forming in her eyes. Her daughter's eyes matched. She grabbed her hand again, this time giving it a loving squeeze. “That was a very hard year for all of us.”

“Steve came back, but Bucky had to stay. But he somehow got time off for a few weeks to come visit…”

“Remember his first visit?” Sarah said with a sad smile.

Thinking back to that time of grief and sadness, she really had to dig. She didn’t really dust off those memories often. It wasn’t really a time you would want to look back on.

“The hospital,” Y/N eventually said in a hushed airless whisper. “How did I forget that?”

“Those were moments one doesn’t really want to recall often,” Sarah said with a new tear falling. She had a smile on her face, but it was sad and soft. Nothing stemming from joy.

“We had just got the word,” she gasped faintly, trying to suck back the air that had left her body thinking of the horrible night. “After the surgery, one of too many, the doctors told us…” Taking a second, she hadn’t said this in a while as the family was hush hush when talking about the last days. “We only had a few months with him.”

________________________

5 years ago:

“He… He wha-?” Steve stammered out. “But he was in remission, not too long ago. He was fine!”

He was furious with the new information. He knew there was a chance of these specific results as his father had a new surgery every month for the cancer. Trying to locate it, trying to cut it out, trying to shrink it, trying to get rid of it with all their might. Every surgery you go in, you’re about to learn if it’s worse or better. And this? This was the worse they had gotten yet.

“I’m sorry, Steve. You know I don’t want to tell you this news, but cancer is a horrible horrible demon we have to face in this world unfortunately,” the doctor said. He had been with them the whole journey so the family had grown rather close with Bruce Banner. Someone their father actually worked alongside with. “Just when you’re doing better, it changes things up. I will say with all the past surgeries, we probably got you a few more months then expected. We believe a few months ago, without the treatment he's undergone so far, he would no longer be here with us today.”

“So we bought him a few months. What does that matter for, if it didn’t fix it all?” Steve shouted. The anger wasn’t toward the doctor. He knew that and they knew that. But he needed someone to blame for the shit he was being handed. He couldn’t just yell at the universe.

“Steven,” Sarah had said softly. Speaking for the first time since Steve had started his rant. “Calm down honey. Shouting and screaming isn’t going to get us anywhere.”

“Nothing’s going to get us anywhere apparently,” he hissed. His hand coming up on his head as he looked up. After a second, he harshly ran his hand down his face and looked at his mom again. He could see her guard start to fall and Steve couldn’t handle having to be strong for them right now. He was too hurt. It was too painful. He was going to break and he couldn’t let them see him do that. “Ugh, I need air. I need to get some air. I-I can’t-.” With that, he walked in long strides to the elevator and the exit.

Sarah shook her head at the tears escaping without her consent. Turning to Y/N, she saw her youngest looking slightly downwards, frozen. Her nails were already being bitten from her nervous tick, and her eyes showing she was no longer on this earth mentally.

“Y/N,” Sarah said, taking a deep breath and standing taller. “Why don’t you go wait in the waiting room? Sit down, ok. I’m just going to talk to Dr. Banner real fast, hmm?”

No answer. She patted her shoulder making him jump slightly as if she had never consciously been there to start. She gave her a nod and Y/N nodded back and started mindlessly heading to the waiting room with her arms folded tight across her body for comfort. Any comfort…

“Y/N?”

She had been mindlessly looking at the ground in the chair she sat in. She couldn’t tell if it had been 5 minutes or an hour later from leaving the room with her mom.

“Y/N/N?”

That finally got her attention and she turned to see Bucky standing with his helmet in hand and jean jacket half-hazardly shifting off his shoulder from racing in from his bike.

“B-Buck?” she said softly sitting straighter.

Bucky sent her a sad smile as he walked to her, but he made it about 4 steps before she was running into his arms and clinging to him like he was air itself.

“They can’t help him, Buck,” she finally said after crying for a few minutes while he ran a hand down her back softly and let her get it all out. “They said they can’t do anything further,” she pulled back enough to look up. Her arms around his middle and his around her shoulders. “We have a few months…”

“Oh, sweetheart,” Bucky sighed, finally getting the news he was waiting to hear, but this wasn’t what he was ready for. He could feel her heartbeat get faster, and at first, he just thought it was the hint to another crying session about to erupt.

In which case, bring it on. He wanted to help her like she had helped him with all those letters of support. But then he noticed her start to slightly hyperventilate. He knew what those two combos usually come out to and he wished he didn’t.

He brought her to a chair he was planning on sitting her in, but instead she plopped herself on the ground. Bucky instantly moved down there with her and looked her over.

“Hey, hey, sweetheart. You’re ok. I got you. Take a deep breath,” he said, bringing her to sit in his lap and hugged her as tight as he could. The feeling of pressure was a calming mechanism for anxiety attacks.

“I-I c-c-an’t,” she stuttered out with hiccups that were forming from her lungs needing air.

“Yes, you can. Focus, doll.” He started doing the breathing exercises himself as a way to guide her since their bodies were intertwined. She needs to sync to his breathing.

She stuttered a little, but her breathing was slowly calming down.

“That’s it… You’ve got it. In and out,” he coached, feeling with each sentence she relaxed more and more. “You’re ok. I got ya. You’re doing great Y/N.”

Eventually she was back to normal. Well, not really. An anxiety attack like that is the kind that leaves you winded afterwards. Completely draining you from energy.

He sat there and rocked her gently in their spot. Her back backed up to his chest and Bucky’s legs spread out with hers inside them as he kept his arms wrapped around her torso. The pressure helps, it really does.

He whispered reassuring words while he played with her hair and then she leaned back and was reaching peak calmness. She turned her head on his shoulder and he looked down at her with his crystal eyes. Their faces inches apart, but nothing other than sorrow in their body.

“They said to be glad we had that long with him as every minute counts. Make all the memories you can in that time...” She closed her eyes for a second taking another deep breath before looking back at him. “How can you make memories you would want to have not so sad knowing the exact day your father could die? What good memories come from that?”

Bucky physically felt her heart in her chest break as if they shared the same one. The emotion he was reading in her eyes this time was one of the few that Bucky could never pinpoint. It was fear, sadness, depression, and longing all rolled into a scared Y/E/C eye colored girl’s orbs.

“You’re allowed to be upset Y/N. You don’t have to fake happiness during this time. Your emotions are there to be felt... But at the end of the day, would you want to look back at more fake happy memories or true and real happiness?” Bucky said.

She wanted to make the next days her unhappy ones and leave it at that. He was right, she should and could feel sad and mad now. This situation called for it. But she didn’t want them to take up the majority of her last memories with her dad.

“Hey, you got Stevie and I,” he whispered in her ear as she turned forward again.

“Steve just yelled at our doctors for almost 15 minutes straight from deniel and then ran out the door like a sissy,” her voice monotone, but he could hear the upset nature behind her words. “Steve’s just as messed up as me.”

“One, you’re not messed up in the least. Two, you are human. Shitty things happen and we have to go through it in each our own way. Three, no grieving process is the same. You’re allowed to scream in your pillow cause you're mad. Or cry for hours on end because you can’t comprehend it. You’re allowed to go eat a whole pint of ice cream by yourself because you're sad. Hell, I’ll join ya,” he squeezed her hand that he had interlocked together on their right side. A light start of a chuckle came out and she squeezed it back.

“As long as you don’t insist on Rocky Road.”

“Really? I’m coming to your cry session and you’re banning me from my favorite ice cream? Some cry party,” he faked hurt.

She let out an actual laugh and turned back to him. “I may have a cry party or two…” He nodded, showing he was proud of her for feeling that was ok and agreed with it. Her eyes showed the actual sadness behind the temporary humor, it was still there swimming around. Her smile wasn’t masking anything. “I guess you can pick your flavor you want to binge on. I get to judge you though if it sucks,” she joked.

She was distracting herself and he was ok with that. He would keep in that direction as long as she needed. And right now, she didn’t want to think about the inevitable. Remember, more happy than sad at the end.

“What brand are we going for?” she asked. He wrapped his arms over her shoulders as she laid back on his chest in their sitting position. Her arms holding onto them in the front like the anchor that he was acting like.

“Um, is that even a question?” he gasped. “I have good taste, Miss. Rogers. What brand do you think I go for?”

“I’m going to say with that pretentiousness, that it’s Ben and Jerry’s,” she grinned, raising an eyebrow.

“Nothing beats Ben and Jerry’s,” he nodded proud in his choice.

“Ok, but hear me out… Halo.” He looked at her like she was crazy. “It's like low calorie ones that are really good and kinda healthier than regular ice cream.”

“Darling, if I’m bingeing on some ice cream, you bet your ass I’m going to go all out. No low cal, shit. I want all the brownie batter.”

“Geez, you really are an ice cream snob,” she laughed more. “Guess you’ll have to try mine though because I promise you’ll join the dark side.”

“Dark side?” he asked.

“Yeah, cause you’re eating healthy while eating ice cream, one of the most sugared things to exist. Actually, get this, In the 1880’s they invented the sundae, and after that, the amount of sugar we started adding to our toppings every decade, just kept going up in sugar.” When she finished her little fact splurge, Bucky was looking down at like she was crazy, but still smiling.

“You’re strange, you know that? What normal person memorizes random facts like the year the ice cream sundae was invented? Or, what was it the other day?” he thought back.

“Oh, how the entire earth’s population can fit inside Los Angeles,” she remembered. “Then that led to talking about global warming, and then-…”She began listing off all the random things that followed after another.

Her mom had peaked out the curtain 5 minutes ago to check on Y/N, and found her wrapped up in his arms comforted and then eventually laughing. They needed a little joy that night. So she took in every laugh Y/n let out followed by Bucky laughing or joking. Every single one is what got her through that night…

________________

“That’s when you saw it?” Y/N asked awestruck. She did remember that. That was one of her core memories with Bucky. She always glimpsed back to it when she was sad. It was advice she took seriously. You choose how many bad days you have. Choose wisely.

“That’s when I knew it,” Sarah corrected.

“Knew it? I thought you were talking about how he looked at me differently. What do you mean, knew it?” she asked, confused.

“I had seen it all the time, but that’s when I knew he was head over heels for you. Seeing these things warmed my heart, but knowing it, gave me a whole new hope. As long as Bucky was there, you would be ok. He would make sure of that.”

“I thought that was so much longer ago…” Y/N said. “I guess I repressed it.”

“Bucky was your rock from day one, sweetheart. As soon as the world got dangerous for you, he became a huge protector over you. He checked in on you when he came over, he made you laugh, he knows how to push your buttons, but you love it. He’s a good kid Y/N.”

“I know. Which brings me to Steve being an ass and throwing a hissy fit about it.”

“Your brother is in shock right now. It was something he clearly did not see a mile away. Learning about it made him a little upset. I’ll talk to him.”

“Ma, I don’t need you to talk to him. You do that and he’ll be even more mad and think I tattle taled on him. Child,” she huffed.

“Fine, then you better tell him. Because like it or not, I’m going to have my family dinners on Sunday, and I want BOTH of my children there. Not just one every once and awhile. Plus, you’re moving out in just a few weeks so I need you to get this done cause I’ll miss you,” she smirked.

“Ok…” Y/N groaned basically being told to apologize and make amends to her big brother by her mom. She wouldn’t put it past her mom to ban Y/n from late night reading for punishment of not fixing it. She’d done it in highschool. She’ll do it again. “I’ll talk to him as soon as I can corner him. He’s been avoiding Bucky and I like the plague.”

“Well, then let’s set a trap.”

“Mom!”

“What? You need to fix it sooner rather than later and I want my kids to not hate each other. So, I’ll invite him over tomorrow for a makeup dinner and say you’re going out and won’t be here,” she started planning. “He won’t say no because I won’t let him. So he’ll come and you stay in your room until we’re settled, and then ta-da! He’s trapped.”

“Did you have this already typed up or something?” Y/N pulled back curiously shocked. Shaking her head out at her crazy organized mom. “Who’s to say he doesn’t stand up and walk out? I could about 99% see it going that way,” she nodded.

“Honey, I’ll be home. He’s not leaving. Not while I’m here at least,” she winked.

“You should become a serial killer as a side hobby. They would never catch you with how well planned out you are,” she teased her mom.

“I thought about it once, but didn’t go my way,” Sarah stood up walking to the sink, winking.

“Mom! You’re on a roll tonight,” Y/N laughed loudly, throwing a little pea at her.

“Hey, you make my kitchen floor a mess, and I may reconsider that side hobby,” she said pointing to the pea rolling away.

“Ma’am, yes ma’am,” Y/N chuckled.

(Tags for this series will be closing soon as it is getting pretty full, please send an ask if you want to be added:)

I’ll post on whatever chapter I decided to close it down here.

The Number One Rule (TNOR) Taglist:

@shadowolf993 @hello-i-am-daydreaming @jessyballet @emmabarnes @kmuir1 @beautifulrare4leafclover @thefallenbibliophilequote @l0ve-0f-my-life @shawnie--jo–jo @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @asoftie4bucky @katiaw2 @sheeple @sznri @bxtchboy69 @taliarosej00 @bakugouswh0r3 @stopjustlovethemcu @babemendesxz @jenniereiji @taliarosej00 @loveyou5everr @natdrunk @im-a-light-child @stucky-my-ship

My Lovelies forever:

@natura1phenomenon @lauravicente @kakakatey @traceyaudette @notyourtypicalrose @laneygthememequeen @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @sandlee44 @thorne93 @thefaithfulwriter @marvelfansworld @essie1876 @greyeyedsmile14 @capsiclehan @xostephanie @averyrogers83 @awesomenursingstudent @gh0stgurl @cs-please @carls1022 @jjlevin @rainbowkisses31 @carls1022 @anise-d-castle6 @deannotmoose @their-bibliophile @kitkatd7 @willowbleedsonpaper @mariaenchanted @snffbeebee @couldabeenamermaid @rebekahdawkins

Bucky Barnes Tags:

@morganclaire4 @chloe-skywalker @charmedbysarge @jbarness

@bellamy-barnes

Marvel Tags:

@thejourneyneverendsx @death-unbecomes-you @heyiamthatbitch @lizzymacy555 @iheartsebastianstan @srrymydood @xa-dia @redhairedfeistynerd @morganclaire4 @connie326 @captain-asguard @mollygetssherlockcoffee @teenagedreams-bucky

#Bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader au #bucky barnes x Y/N au #bucky barnes x Y/N Rogers au series #Bucky barnes x Y/N rogers #Bucky barnes x Y/N au series #justkending #marvel au #marvel au series #marvel series #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes au series #bucky barnes au

288 notes · View notes

official-weasley · 3 years

Text

It's Positive (The Irreplaceable Charlie Weasley AU)

Warnings: nothing but fluff

Word count: 3,051

Characters: Charlie Weasley and my OC Nova from TICW which you can find here

A/N: Okay, so! I want to clear the confusion that some of you might have. Specifically, those of you who have read my TICW and know about something that happens in Part 8.

After I wrote the alternative ending my mind went crazy realizing that the story doesn't have to end now but I stuck to it anyway. I had some of you in my private messages asking me to continue the story with chapter and parts but I didn't envision it like that, sorry.

However! I did start getting one-shots ideas a few weeks back that are basically stories from their lives in the alternative ending. So because I miss Nova and that version of Charlie so so much and I can't help myself and is honestly keeping me from writing anything else I decided to create an Alternative Ending AU where I would have the liberty to write stories about different events in their lives.

This one is happening a few weeks after the Sanctuary was attacked by Death Eaters. I will try to keep the timeline as clear as possible and try not to jump up and down a lot. Keep in mind that Nova is safe and sound in the alternative universe.

There will be no stories before this point - meaning no more school days for them but everything from this point on.

I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Oh, it's good to have Nova back. 🥺💙

Charlie

“I can't believe we did it.” The biggest grin painted Andrei's face. “I mean, the trees are still burned, but it's better and in time for your wedding too.”

“It took quite some time but I didn't have the slightest doubt that we wouldn't restore the Reserve.” I bestowed him with a smile.

“It's never going to be the same is it?” Andrei asked after a few seconds of silence.

“No.” I shook my head slightly, the smile disappearing from my face. “Listen, Andrei, are you sure you are okay with us having the wedding here?”

“Of course! Why would I mind?” Andrei's brows furrowed. “You needed long enough to arrange everything.” He joked.

“Yeah.” I forced a laugh. “You know what I mean. The events that happened here not even 3 weeks ago are still leaving a bitter taste in a lot of people's mouths. We lost a lot of people. I don't want to rub it in everybody's faces how happy Nova and I are.”

“Charlie,” Andrei turned to me slightly, putting a hand on my shoulder, “that is exactly what everybody needs. Love brings people together and it gives them hope. You have been at the healing station and you have helped me out the most, so you know that we need something positive.”

“You sound like Felix.” My lips curved a little.

“Yeah, that won't go away anytime soon.” Andrei shook his head and looked at the ground trying to hide the fact that tears gathered in his eyes.

“Andrei, if you ever need anything... you know that Nova and I are here for you. I don't know what I would do if I lost...” I bit my lip, stopping myself from saying anything else.

Just the thought of something happening to Nova or me losing her like Andrei lost Felix, broke something in me.

“I know.” He gave out a small smile. “You two are my closest friends here and one of the few who knew about me and Felix.”

“One more reason for you to come knocking on our door when you need some company.” I pulled him into a hug despite him being my boss and us never doing that before. I knew he needed one even though he would never admit to it.

“So,” Andrei gestured for us to start walking towards the cottages, “what do you two have planned once you get married?”

“We barely planned the wedding and you are asking me that?” I chuckled.

“Are we going to see any fiery-haired little Weasleys running around?” His face beamed.

“Oh, no!” I shook my head quickly. “We're not that fast. We want to enjoy our marriage before we start working on having little Weasleys.”

“Whatever you say.” Andrei sighed, pretending to be disappointed as we stopped in front of my home.

“You'll be begging me to not make you babysit so be careful what you wish for!” I giggled.

“How is Nova feeling, by the way? Any better?”

“She has been fine for two days now but she said that she'll stay in for a couple of days more just to be sure the stomach bug is really gone,” I explained.

“That's great news. Say hi to her for me and I'll see you tomorrow, Charlie.” Andrei waved and started walking away.

“Nova?” I called her name as I stepped through the door.

I took off my shoes and listened for movement to find out in which room she was.

“Love? Are you still sleeping?” I checked the clock on our kitchen wall. It was a little past 11, there was no way she was still in bed even though she never was a morning person.

“Bath...room.” I heard her say before she flushed the toilet.

“Are you alright?” I knocked on the door and pressed my ear on it, concern in my voice.

“No.” She whispered. “It's back.” She gagged and I could hear her pushing the toilet lid back up.

“Can I come in?” I asked gently, frowning.

I was getting more concerned each day. While I was out and about helping Andrei and the others after the Sanctuary attack, Nova has been spending most of her time in our bathroom. When the Death Eaters fled, we were both sent to the healing station for a check-up despite Nova saving us both with that protection spell. They deemed us healthy with minor scratches and I feel completely fine. Nova, however...

“Yeah.”

I slowly opened the door when she granted me access. She was leaning over the toilet. One hand wrapped around her hair to hold it back, the other hand hugging the toilet.

“Nova, you have to stop being stubborn and let me take you to the healers.” I couldn't hide the firmness in my voice.

“I'm fine.” She swung her hand.

“You have been spending more time with that toilet than with me.”

“You jealous?” She tried to chuckle but pushed her head closer to the toilet again and I jumped to her to hold her hair.

“Please, love. This isn't normal. A stomach bug doesn't take this long.” I pleaded.

She kept saying that she has the stomach flu and at the beginning, I thought so too. But she didn't have any other symptoms besides vomiting every morning.

“What else could it be?” She asked weakly, after flushing yet again.

“I am no expert in these matters, that's why I am begging you to go see a healer. Our wedding is less than 14 days away. If you won't be alright by then we are canceling the whole thing!” I tried threatening her but a mocking smile gave me away.

“Less than 14 days away?” Nova didn't react to my threat at all in the way she usually does.

Usually, she rolls her eyes and lifts one of her brows, and gazes at me with her arms crossed over her chest until I tell her that I'm joking. Now, her face lost all its color and her eyes widened as if the most terrifying creature was standing behind me.

“What date is it?” She asked, panic in her voice.

“27th,” I answered, puzzled.

“Twenty...” Nova's jaw dropped before leaning over the toilet again.

“Oh, no, no, no, no!” She got up, flushing again, and exited the bathroom.

“Nova, what is going on?” I rushed after her and stopped when I saw her pacing around the coffee table in our living room, her hands in her hair.

“I think I know what's wrong with me.” She said more to herself than to me.

“Love, you can't just diagnose yourself with something,” I said calmly, trying not to irritate her as she seemed to be seconds away from a panic attack.

“No, Char, listen to me!” She entwined out fingers, brought us to the sofa, and sat us down.

“Okay, I'm listening.” I brushed a lock of hair off her face.

“I...” Before she could continue, she put her hand over her mouth, looking green again.

“Should we rather have this conversation in the bathroom?”

“I think that would be better.” She nodded and before I could help her up, she was already running.

“Okay, so what do you think you have?” I asked, brushing her hair back after she was done.

“I don't want to say.” She was biting her lip nervously, us kneeling in front of the toilet.

“Love, we have been best friends since we were 11 and we celebrated our 5th anniversary in May and you can't tell me something?” I chuckled, trying to brighten up the mood.

“May!” She gasped and her eyes widened again. “Our anniversary!”

“Nova,” I blinked at her confusingly, “you have to give me more details. What is going on? What about our anniversary?”

“Okay,” she took a deep breath and waited for a second just to see if she will have to vomit again, “do you remember what we did after a very romantic dinner?”

“Yeah.” My cheeks turned scarlet, reminiscing on the moment.

“Do you remember what we usually do before we do that?” Nova pressed her lips together.

“We use the protection spell.” I nodded.

“Mhm, yeah, so...” Nova scratched the back of her head. “...do you remember how we could barely keep a conversation up in that restaurant because we didn't have the time to have sex for like 14 days and we couldn't wait to get home and once we did we were so caught up in the moment that we forgot something?” She squinted her eyes, her cheeks burning.

“Forgot someth...” Before I could ask what she was trying to say, my eyes mimicked hers from before. “No!” I said incredulously.

Nova nodded and hummed.

“No, we can't be. You can't be. It was one time!” I was pretty sure I was getting green in the face now.

“It's a possibility,” Nova mumbled. “This stomach bug of mine could be morning sickness.”

“I...” I suddenly forgot how to speak. “But it was one time.”

“Char, it doesn't need more than one time to get pregnant.” Nova giggled.

“So what do we do now?” I tried hiding the fact that I was getting more nervous by the minute.

“Well, I think that now I actually have to listen to you and go to the healer.” I tilted my head at Nova.

How was she so calm? This was huge! If she really is pregnant and we're going to have a baby...

I blinked. I didn't know how I feel about this. Ever since we first talked about having a family it has been our secret guilty pleasure. We both want a family and move somewhere where it would be safer to raise the kids but we want that in a few years. We are not prepared to have a baby!

“Let's go then.” I offered her my hand.

“Now?” Nova glimpsed at the toilet.

“Should we wait for another hour, just to make sure you're done for the day?”

“Yes, please.” Nova gave out a sheepish smile.

—

“Well, if you are vomiting and feeling nauseous every morning and your period is late and you forgot to use the protection spell, it's pretty safe to say that you're pregnant.”

Madam Finch had a slight smirk on her face saying that. The second Nova felt better we went to the healing station and found her at once.

“But, how can we be sure?” Nova asked.

“Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do for you here. We don't have any equipment like that, since we are in the middle of a Dragon Sanctuary. I am afraid you will have to go to St Mungo's or go to a Muggle drug store to get a pregnancy test.”

“A pregnancy test?” I furrowed my brows. “How does that work?”

“It's a plastic stick on which Nova would pee and if the window displaying the result would have a plus in it she is pregnant and if it would have a minus she's not pregnant.” Madam Finch replied.

“And how reliable are these tests?” Nova wanted to know.

“If your period is late and you think you conceived in May it would be about 99% reliable.”

Nova and I looked at each other and nodded. I knew she had the same idea as I did. We need to get to a drug store at once.

We walked to the Sanctuary gates in silence. Nova was biting her lip and looking at the ground, while I tried to calm down my nerves. It was obvious that we felt too awkward talking about this because we were both afraid of what the other person would say. I didn't want to tell her that I'm nervous, I needed to be there for her and appear strong even though I was pretty sure that the same thoughts were crossing her mind.

The second we walked outside the gates, we locked arms and apparated to the nearest Muggle town. Nova spotted the store and grabbed my hand, dragging me behind her. She tried hard to appear as if she wasn't trying to rush this but I knew she wanted to get it over as soon as possible.

“There are so many of them. How are we supposed to choose?” Nova's eyes were scanning all the different boxes, while she was biting the inner side of her cheek.

“Which one does seem the most reliable to you?” I tried helping her even though I had zero experience when it came to this.

“I wish my mum was here,” Nova whispered and I was pretty sure I wasn't supposed to hear that.

I bowed my head. I felt so useless. She was nervous trying to find out if she had a baby in her belly and I was just standing next to her, helpless. I wish this would happen when we were more ready and I wish I was more knowledgeable about this so I could advise her.

“I'm sorry I am so helpless.” I put my hand on the small of her back. “What?” She looked away from the boxes and locked eyes with me.

“I feel so useless. I should be able to help you with this.” I pointed at the boxes.

“Char, stop it, now. I am as clueless as you are about this stuff and you don't see me apologizing to myself. We are going to manage just fine! We are in this together.” She bestowed me with the biggest reassuring smile, grabbed my hand, and pressed it hard against her chest.

“You're right.” I nodded and turned my head to the shelf with the boxes. “How about this one? It says that it's quick and 99.9% reliable.” I took the box and showed it to her.

“Sounds good to me. Let's take it!”

—

“I am so nervous, I can't believe I was able to pee!” Nova exclaimed as she came out of the bathroom, her eyes on the pregnancy test in her hand.

“I am proud of you for peeing, love.” I gestured for her to sit down on the sofa next to me.

She put the stick on the coffee table and positioned herself in my arms. I tightened the grip on her as much as possible because I knew how much it calms her down. I took a deep breath, neither of us taking our eyes off the test.

“So,” Nova swallowed hard, “we didn't talk about how we feel about this.”

“About what?” I kissed the top of her head.

“About how we would feel if a plus shows in that little circle.”

There was a moment of silence. I could feel Nova's heartbeat against my arm.

“Well, we didn't plan this,” I said carefully. I knew she was nervous but I didn't know what she was hoping for.

“Yeah.” Was all she replied.

“And we aren't even married.”

“Yeah.” “And we said we wanted to enjoy being married to one another for a few years before we start a family.”

“Yup.” Nova nodded.

“And we wanted to find a nice cozy home where we could envision us raising our little rascals.”

“That we did.”

“And we are currently at war.”

“Mhm,” Nova mumbled.

“It's the worst possible time to have a baby.”

“Yeah, I couldn't agree with you more.”

“But how I wish that we would get a plus.”

“Me too.”

Nova shifted in my arms and we both sighed in relief when we saw the biggest grins painting our faces.

“I know it's not ideal but is it ever the right time to have a kid?” Nova pressed her lips hard on mine.

“Is it okay if I say that I don't care when the right time is? I am so excited to see the result, hoping that we're pregnant that I can't think of anything else.” I admitted.

The second we started staring at that test and I thought to myself that I hope we are having a baby I forgot about all our worries.

Was the timing good? No. But do I think we are ready to have a family? Yes. We might not know everything and we have a lot to learn but every parent is clueless at the beginning, right? If Nova got pregnant in May, we have quite some time to learn all the necessary things for us to be great parents.

“I feel the same. I want to have a baby with you, Char.” Her voice was so soft and her eyes were so hopeful that I couldn't stand it anymore.

I gently pushed her away and kneeled in front of the coffee table, trying not to peak at the test.

“Has it been 2 minutes yet?”

“I think so.” Nova kneeled next to me, her eyes going from the clock on the wall to the test.

“Should we turn it around?” I put my arm around her shoulder and kissed her forehead.

“Let's do it together.”

We grabbed the pregnancy test, one on each side, and turned it around.

“What does it say?” Nova asked.

“I don't know. I have my eyes closed!” I giggled.

“Me too!” Nova started laughing.

“Okay, we both look in three, two, one!”

We both opened our eyes, our gaze on the little circle in the middle of the stick.

“Love...” I whispered.

“It's positive.” Nova breathed.

“We're having a baby?” “We're having a baby!” Nova exclaimed, picked up the pregnancy test, and brought it so close to her face that it was almost touching her nose.

“We're going to be parents!” I helped her get up and we started jumping up and down around the living room.

“We're pregnant, Char!” She crushed into me, giving me the tightest hug. “And we're not even married.” She looked up at me, trying to see my reaction.

I couldn't stop smiling. Her being so happy and excited about it and me wanting to have a family with her ever since we got together, made this moment so perfect. I pressed a kiss on her forehead and one on each of her cheeks before I cupped her face and kissed her tenderly.

Before I could enjoy our pleasantly surprising news more, a thought came to mind and my eyes widened as Nova's did before.

“My mum's going to kill us.”

34 notes · View notes

sly-merlin · 4 years

Text

KILLING ME - 12 |n.y

pairing : law student!reader + yuta

genre : angst , mafia au/ arranged marriage au.

warnings of this chapter : mentions of blood and brutality. For future chapters, major character death(s).

words :

summary : “life’s never fair y/n. realise it as soon as you can . it is the only secret for living a regretless life.”

“ curiousity got the cat hitched”

K.M masterlist

A/n : this was supposed to be a longer chapter. The Tumblr was bring problematic since three days. This is not how the chapter was supposed to end but i couldn't post anything longer than this so i had to make changes to end it on a surprise tone like other chapters. I hope you still enjoy it.

Was he asking for too much?

His unsteady hand rose and fell, internal monologue stopping him from knocking on the door. Johnny wasn't sure how he even ended up outside taeyong's door. One second he was fighting with his thoughts and the next second he found himself jumping out of his car, almost ready to confront the person behind the door.

He took a deep breath and was about to drum the wood when the door opened from inside, taeyong's sleepy figure greeting him instantly.

"John. Why are you here so late? Do you need something?" from red pressed strikes on taeyong’s face, anyone would have guessed that he had been sleeping.

“Johnny! I’m talking to you.” he waved his hand in front of johnny’s distracted eyes.

“Huh”

“Do you want something?”

“y/n.”

Your life was back on the wagon. Not truly but with a few exceptions here and there, it certainly felt like the old days. You were in chois on weekdays and took tuitions on the weekends. You met your friends while visiting the library and everything felt quite normal. Even with a few oddities, that being the five day training sessions with Jungwoo, some new people in your life, a residence that you felt happy coming back to, absence of someone that you’d never grown a liking for, everything was smooth. Just like before. The only thing you missed was some time. Time for yourself. Though you lived alone, which was a luxury nearing its end, you barely got a few minutes alone with your mind and that was something you craved more than the drink shoved in your hand at the moment.

You loved your friends, without any doubt, but they lived with the bad habit of disregarding your feelings, feelings that said you would be anywhere but the restaurant you were sitting in.

“y/n is going into hibernation again.” minjun’s voice broke your trance.

“What did you say?" You challenged him but he cowered in his seat and turned his focus on the soggy french fries instead. When he silenced, yugyeom spoke up,

“Yo y/n. Don’t scare the child. Just drink away your sorrows. The wine is quite expensive here. If you are making me pay then at least make it worth it."

Suddenly, Jungkook's loud snorting caught everyone's attention as they all quietened, waiting for him to reveal the reasons for his action. Swirling his burgundy glass, he chugged the last bit of the drink before leaning backwards in his chair, relaxing himself.

"Now what's the drama with You" Yeong grumbled, clearly intoxicated.

"She's already hammered" minjun giggled.

"When are you going to invite us to your house y/n?" Jungkook chimed in, a smirk plastered on his blushed face.

"Oh yes. Ms. Lawyer no more l-lives i-in the d-dorms." Yeong hiccupped, losing the grip on the bottle of soju. Yugyeom chuckled at her antics before snatching the bottle away to avoid any fuss.

"I also meant to ask you but you are never available for more than an hour or so. Are you doing alright" gyeom shifted his chair towards you while keeping a hand on his girlfriend's back.

You didn't know how to reply or what to trump up so they'd stop pestering you. However, you had no other choice than to continue with the streak you had started a few months ago.

"Of course i want to have you there but my roommate is very, how to explain, very bitchy. He got this corporate job and he-he works from home so I'm supposed to pretend like I do not exist and keep quiet. That includes no outsiders as well. It's gonna be like this for a few months i guess"

You mumbled the last part.

You averted your eyes but didn't mean you could've escaped their intense judgemental gaze. You repeated the whole lie that you recited to arrange it in the box of deceit that you were filling since the commencement of these stories. Forgetting any of these would mean shattering their trust. And that was exactly what you were supposed to protect.

Once reiterated, you gathered how foolish the sentence was. Had it been said to you, there wasn't a chance of putting your belief in it. But your company was drunk enough to believe it; two of them were enough to carry the whole table.

"Wow. How horrible of him. We should take y/n with us yugy. She'd be happy and she can invite anyone." Yeong low-key let out a little drunk growl to press her point.

Yugyeom cooed at her before replying,

"And where will you live? Our apartment has only two rooms and both are occupied. Where do you plan to settle down instead?"

His question made her think harder than she ever had in life as she picked at her jutted out lower lip.

"Laundry room. You and me, will live in the laundry room because y/n needs a nice home."

"I already have a nice home yeongie." You took the opportunity, got up and reached out to pinch her cheeks, "but you won't know unless you are sober. Take her home, yugy. I'm also sleepy so I'll get going. See you on Tuesday."

" It's already 11. Let me drop you home." Jungkook suggested, startling you.

"No It-

"Yeah you drop her. I'll take Yeong and minjun home but help me in carrying their asses to the car please." Yugyeom pleaded. He left the bills on the table and took Yeong in his arms. You expected jungkook to do the same but he passed minjun your shoulders instead,

"Wait for me outside. I have to call someone first." and he walked away, his lover grinning on your shoulder like it was the funniest thing in the world but you were fine as long as their drunken state saved you from some heavy confrontation. The only person left was jungkook and you had the perfect idea to dodge him as well.

"So the same place or are you staying in the dorms this weekend?" He asked, driving out of the busy street.

"Just drop me at the nearest bus station. I'll ta-

"Nakamoto residence or the dorms y/n" you almost choked on the air as the word left his lips. Taking a bus home had seemed like the perfect plan but you had overvalued your common sense. Again.

"What are you talking about?" With hesitation evident in your voice, you muttered.

"Do you really think you'd go to a random house in front of me that I know nothing about and you'd be left alone without questions. I was there until the door was opened by someone. You really thought I'd have left you with a stranger. But i knew something was fishy when the receptionist told me that it's a home sweet home of Mr and Mrs nakamoto. Now spill before I get yugyeom to ask in his own way." He shifted the gears in frustration, your relaxed persona bothering him to no end. Getting jungkook wokred up wasn't a grunt work. He was like a matchstick, always ready to be ignited by any possible frictional surface.

"It's not what you are thin-

"Don't lie please," he started, words dangerously polite, "If he's your boyfriend then there's no need to hide y/n. We would always be there to support you. When, how, why, i don't want you to feel pressured to answer me. Just because you go around with no commitment tag doesn't mean we'd judge you if you ever got in a relationship. We love you. Make us part of your life like we do. Can't we just expect that much."

You gulped at how disappointed he sounded. He was right. You needed to include them in your life adventures but how were you supposed to explain him the riots you were dealing with. How were you supposed to spill everything without him getting his sword out. That would only lead to more troubles than you had the power to deal with. Trouble for you, him and for everyone who'd be passed that secrecy.

So you begged, for some more time until you'd be more than comfortable to let all of them into your present life.

Like every other word, this was also a lie that, in the first place, you never chose to proceed with.

He might have give in to you, but you knew eventually you'd have to muster up the courage to answer him and that day would decide another turn of your future.

And you would make sure, inter alia, to shift the wheels in a more likeable direction.

“Use your fists!”

Jungwoo’s grip was strong. His one arm was holding your waist and the other was around your neck. It was painful but you knew he wasn’t going to let go easily this time. This was the third consecutive scuffle or demo fight with him within the span of the last forty five minutes and having lost the last two, awfully at that, expectation of some mercy was not very demanding on your part. But only if he would grant that! You heard his chuckle as you wriggled in his hold. He was clearly having a lot more fun than you were. There was no way you could’ve applied renjun and hyuck’s advice but you still tried to follow their vague instructions.

“Bit his arm and turn.”

“No, don’t. Turn around and hit his torso with your knees.”

Bit him?

Halting your movements, a low grunt left your lips as you lowered your body and pressed your teeth on his flesh. He screeched and immediately retracted his arm. Taking advantage of his loosened grip on your waist, you whirled around and raised your knee to strike at his upper body. In an instant, your hands fell on your knees and you inhaled a harsh breath, regaining your strength. Jungwoo, on the other hand, was curled up on the floor like a baby. You wanted to laugh at him but the more astonishing thing was the lack of any noise from your cheerleaders. Right from the start, they were rooting for you like you were earning them some hard cash and now that you had done exactly what they had wanted, they were silent.

“Wha-

you opened your mouth to speak but their lack of attention held you back. Their eyes were fixed at Jungwoo,who still laid where he had landed.

“What did you do?” renjun shrieked.

“Exactly what you told me to!” you replied with heavy breathing.

“We said torso!”

“Yes and i hi-

Mechanically your hand slapped your face as you noticed the position of jungwoo’s hands. You had, mistakenly, kicked him in the groin which only meant more trouble for you.

“Save me.” you mouthed to hyuck and renjun while approaching jungwoo.

“Sorry teacher.” you mumbled.

He remained quiet for a few seconds and didn’t make any movement. When he did, you took a few steps back, afraid of his wrath. Palms down on the mat, he sat up and with painfully quiet voice spoke up,

“Looks like you won. Good j-job. I think i need to visit the medical room. You can go and celebrate.”

“Does it pain too much” pointing to his crotch and averting your eyes, you asked.

“No. not at all but i might need to adopt your kids someday. You know if i can’t make my own.”

“Sorry” you cried.

“Dismissed.” his civil tone, probably due to the ache, glued you in the position.

When you didn't move, donghyuck came, took you by your arm and guided you for the door.

"He's just being dramatic. Just chill. Another hit and he'd be good to go." He giggled and was soon joined by renjun as well, who was now crouching down in front of jungwoo.

"You sure?"

"If he doesn't then you can always give him your baby. Ofcourse after asking your husband." Only after he rambled, he realised what he had actually said. His face screamed surprise. To save him from spiralling into deep shame, you eased him by cutting off his apology,

"Ew hyuck. Give him one of yours if you want. Don't come for mine!" And you exited the door.

You were halfway through the basement when you realised the lack of your device. Running back, you were about to shout when you overheard their gossip.

"No, I'm telling you she meant to injure me so i won't teach her anymore or this might be the revenge of all the weapon training. Her knee is stronger than jeno's punch. Don't laugh at me you shits."

Jungwoo was whining.

"Haha. Yeah ok. But i told you renjun, she's physically stronger than her. Kind of totally opposite." Hyuck's voice quietened at the end but before he could speak further, you interrupted,

"Like who hyuck?"

Their faces went blank at your question and the reason of sudden heaviness in the air was beyond your contemplation.

"You don't want to answer? Fine. Maybe it's not my place to question." You simply stated before circling the mat to pick up your phone from the chair.

"No. It's not li-

"It's fine hyuck. Chill." You shrugged and walked away, deciding against pestering them for information that they clearly felt too uncomfortable to share.

"You need a fucking lock on your bloody mouth." was the last thing you heard before they were out of your hearing.

What was the need to ask something when you knew you won't ever get an answer out of them. Everyone was beyond friendly with you but still, there were some borders that nobody dared to cross. Maybe the mention of that woman was one of them. Fear of some unknown ghost of embarrassment was swallowing you whole when you heard grunts. Loud ones. You were still in the basement, the scuffle center being at the far end. The stairs were in front of you. The snarls and growls were coming from the other end of the basement. The election wasn't hard and you didn't want to give in to your curiosity but you did. Your feet, not cooperating with the voice in the back of your head that told you to turn away, took you ahead in the direction of the noise. Though the residence consisted of only one plot but the basement covered two. Unknown to everyone, the house next to B.N was also their property and it was only utilised for the underground space. Hence the never ending lane and the countless closed metal doors.

The echo got louder with each step you took. It’s been more than a month since you were visiting the basement but those noises had never crossed through you until today. The end doors were forbidden for you, according to what you were told but now that you were exposed to it, there was no chance of ignoring. No prudent person would ever overlook such a thing. That was the justification you were repeating as you took baby steps.

All the doors were closed except one at the very far end. You thought about peaking inside then halted as if your conscious called you. The whimpers also stopped for a minute or so but your heart skipped a few beats when a collision following with painful shriek reverberated in the empty space. The door, slightly ajar, was just a few strides away but you were too startled to even back away from your position. Same pattern of hit and shouts continued again. Unaware of the happenings, you stood there as If you were waiting for someone to separate you from the concrete beneath your feet.

Adding to your distress, the metal door opened abruptly and you realised, you were again at a place where you weren't meant to be.

"What are you doing here?" Jaehyun's growl broke you out of the unconscious state you had fell into. Mechanically, you eyes roamed across him to notice a body lying on the table inside the room, strained cries escaping his lips. The limp body was enough to put two and two together to conclude that he was being tortured. He was a victim of jaehyun's wrath.

"I asked what ar-

"Y/N!" he picked up his hand to touch your shoulders but you distanced yourself when you noticed the stains covering his clothing and hands, the blood red prominently visible even under the low light.

His gaze caught yours in time and his eyes softened noticing the fear in your body.

Very slowly, he reached out for you but immediately stopped, taking a note of your quivering lip.

"Hey. It-its not blood. I ca-can explai- Y/N!"

The yells of your name covered the whole arena as you rushed away, leaving a dazed jaehyun behind.

"Who was it jae?"

Jaehyun saw your trembling figure diminishing while you ran away from him as if you were disgusted by him. Not that he expected any other reaction, some good time has passed since someone innocent had came across their work. To say the least, it was never pleasant to have someone witness their harsh manners.

"JAE!"

"Y/n. She saw the body and also the blood."

He mumbled to ten whose visage, upon hearing, instantly mirrored jaehyun's.

"What about him?" Ten pointed to the man, "he's not speaking shit"

"Finish him off if you want. I need to handle something else now"

You raced as fast as you could have. You had never thought of yourself as a weak person but the sight was gruesome to just disregard and walk off. With shaking legs, you finally made it upstairs but the ringing, only became more earsplitting. Your hand harshly rubbed at your chest as you tried to defuse the tension bubbling in your whole body. After what felt like minutes, you covered your ears as if it would stop the ringing. It certainly did not but surprisingly it was muffled. You removed your hands and the blaring returned again. But this time, you laboured yourself to look into your surroundings. You saw chenle, jisung, jaemin running back and forth from the kitchen while doyoung seemed to be scolding jeno for something. Few others were also there, cleaning the couches and spraying some fragrance in the air. Everyone seemed to be their own turmoil, origin was which was yet to be known.

That's when it hit you. Maybe your ears weren't booming due to fright.

"Chenle"you screamed at the passing boy, "do you hear this sound?" You pointed your fingers in the air to exaggerate your point. He merely nodded before he went past you and the very next second the noise was reduced to mere buzzing. You inhaled sharply to regulate your heartbeat but failed due to the ruckus that enclosed you. Suddenly jaemin emerged,

"Why are you so disheveled? Go and change from these workout clothes. Uncle is outside. Didn't you hear the alarm." Only Half of his words entered your head and before you could come to your senses, you were interrupted again.

"Y/n my girl!" Whipping your head, you saw a familiar figure entering the threshold.

An old man that you surely had seen somewhere.

His voice was a lot stronger than his aged body which he was dragging along with the help of a walking stick.

Jaemin nudged you to greet him and you complied as soon as could have in your current state. Only when you got closer, you realised he was the same man you had met in the office celebration. You haven't seen him since then but he looked significantly weaker than before. Even with dark circles present, his face still was still shining with the smile he wore as he staggered inside.

"How's life treating you my kid" he asked, patting the empty space on the couch. You took the seat and replied in a small voice,

"I'm good. Everything is nice."

"Why am I smelling Jasmines this late in the evening?" He sniffed the air and galred at doyoung, " Do you take me for a fool? One thing! Cleaning. that is the only thing i ask of you. There are- how many of you are present since the morning. Answer me doyoung."

The man barked and doyoung muttered a sheepish apology, his head dropping with shame.

"Each one of you is nonsense. If you'd just clean up your stink once in a while, you'd save your money on the thousands of spray bottles you buy every month. But you thick heads only know how to shoot and punch. Now get me a glass of water before i die of this fake flowery smell"

He shouted like he owned the place and Maybe he did. Your mind and heart were not aligned up to comprehend the simple scenario that took place before you, the dizziness coming and going with intervals.

Then you were called again.

Looking at your right, your saw jaehyun standing, his face ridden of any colour.

You noticed his new shirt. There was no blood on it. His hands were also cleaned and you were stunned at how quickly your eyes were running on his body to find any trace of what you saw in the basement a few minutes ago.

"y/n, i need to talk to you"

For the first time, jaehyun's words were directed towards you without any poison in them.

You still didn't wish to face him so you moved yourself to face the old man.

"Y/n ple-

"Now you don't even greet your own father jung jaehyun."

He spoke with a steadier and louder voice that felt like it was only meant for jaehyun. The contrast in his tone was striking.

He was jaehyun's father.

"Sorry dad. I have something imp-

"I called you in the morning to inform yuta and taeil and yet i do not see anyone here. Do i need to die for you to respect me!"

You couldn't believe your ears when jaehyun answered in shuddering tone.

"Yu-yuta is not here."

He sounded like a child responding to his teacher, scared of some evaluation.

"Then call him."

"I mean he's away on business dad."

"Civil?"

It was like hearing Morse code.

"No."

"You sent him on a target place?"

"No. He's in Nice to collect information."

"Wow. Can you please clap your back for breaking the only sacred rule this family lives by?"

The silence in the extremely large living room was suffocating. This time, except you, everyone else was scared. And it still wasn't of any help.

"How dare you send a family man away on anything remotely dangerous. I thought you all were careful after taeil's incident but no. Nobody cares enough t-

Before he could complete, shaky coughs engulfed his body. Somehow, jaehyun grabbed him the moment he was about to fall from the couch. Doyoung ran for the kitchen while xiaojun, who was always too swift in his movements, came to the living room with a medical box.

You weren't sure what was happening with him or why he was being treated like some high mighty force or why he was so adamant on bringing yuta back but you could only pray that his wish won't be granted.

You weren't cruel but you were sure he'd be able to survive without that piece of shit roaming around.

You couldn't lose the few weeks you had without him.

Taeyong hands clutched yours like his life depended on you.

"Please please please y/n. It's been over a month since he's gone. I never withdraw from a deal. But this is an emergency. Uncle doesn't know you both were forced. He is a soft and weak hearted man. We cannot afford to tell him anything like this and clearly this would be seen as a betrayal to him. You both are nothing like what he's told but he doesn't need to need. He's the only father figure we have. Please just this time. I promise I won't ask anything from you after this. You do not need to live with him. he'd be here until two months are over. Please."

You lifted your brow at his last sentence and liberated your hands from his, feeling his trembling fingers.

"I don't see the need to lie anymore, taeyong. You can tell him the truth and be over with it. If he has jaehyun as a son, he must be used to hearing blatant lies. This won't be the only one, I'm sure of that." Crossing your arms, you coldly said.

"I know you hate me but please y/n. You know how it is to lose the only family member you have. We have no one besides him. Never had anyone before him. The least we can do is keep him happy until it's too late. Please. Just this time."

Gobbling down each word, you merely nodded at him. If it weren't for his glossy eyes, you'd have threw up on him right after the first pleading but you weren't heartless like him. He was right. You knew how it felt to lose your loved ones, a fate you would never wish upon anyone. Not even the person you despised the most.

"Thank you. I owe you this one kiddo." He hugged you and you pushed him away.

"Let me call him."

"Yuta!"

"Hmm"

"You need to come back immediately "

Taeyong spoke with urgency.

"Nope. I still have Three weeks and two days left." You heard his non-chalant words through the speaker.

"Yuta it's abou-

"Sorry I'm busy with my french girls. Call you later and please forget to take care of yourself."

And he hung up.

A smirk formed on your face watching the grim expressions of taeyong.

"Good luck convincing him and while you are going to explain him the difference between the French girls and the French monkeys he has mistaken as women, why don't you explain me what exactly jaehyun does in that other end of the basement. I love some good stories, taeyong. So let's hear how good of a storyteller are you!"

taglist :: @kpop-choco @moon-yuta @kawaiiayasan @btm-taeyong @exfolitae @lanadreamie @cheersskznct @hyuckiesgf @theworld-accordingtocasey @yiyi4657 @sorrywonwoo @sillywinnergladiator @minejungwoo @leesalts @mal-nakamoto23 @ro2424 @itlittlefangirl @nctzens-world @bl--ankhaeji @simplybree @ncttboo @jeaneteflo @nuoyii @/bralessmermaid

124 notes · View notes

stxleslyds · 3 years

Text

MY TOUGHTS ON PART FOUR OF RED HOOD BY CHIP ZDARSKY :)

THIS ONE IS A MESS.

But first a little rant about my feelings about Red Hood in general at the moment.

I am not going to lie, it took me a long time to read this comic, I am kind of tired of reading this book, I feel like I lower my expectations each issue that passes by and I still get disappointed at the result.

Maybe I just love a Jason Todd that is no more and I have to accept the one we have now, but here is the thing, if this is what we get then I just don’t like it, and on rough days I hate it. These are very negative thoughts about one of the two DC characters that I love and I don’t enjoy having them, I don’t want DC to keep giving us this version of Jason or these versions of Jason, each time they change little things that just change the character from the one that he once was even more.

I feel a bit defeated about it and I don’t know, on one side I want to fight and scream so they can finally give Jason the characterization he deserves and for them to give up the bland formula they have going on with him and on the other side I just want them to stop, stop writing Jason Todd/Red Hood and that is so sad, imagine loving a character and wanting the publisher to stop making content with them because what they give is just terrible. I don’t know, this is a rant that I felt like writing before I read the issue (I did skimm it briefly), so don’t take this as part of the review, its just me explaining my feelings right now.

Anyway, I will start the review now, sorry for the rant.

Wonderful, this book is on crack (or should I say Cheerdrops?), the thing with this particular issue is that I had a great laugh, it’s funny but in a good way, it's stupid and it kind of doesn’t make sense, the only way to describe Zdarsky’s writing here is with a phrase that we say here in my country “se pisa el palito”, which means that he lies about something and after some time he reveals the truth himself by mistake or because he got confused, in this case Zdarsky makes Jason say something like “this time I have come prepared” but he is actually not prepared at all and like two pages later (within the same scene) he has Jason call himself an amateur, it's very weird and to me it translates to Zdarsky not liking Jason or just not caring about him at all.

And that sucks and it really bothers me. As I have said before this anthologies book might be called Batman: Urban Legends but the particular story I am reading is a RED HOOD one, I am not here for Batman content, I am here for Jason Todd content.

The fact that we are not getting a Jason-specific story in a Red Hood book is killing me, it would suck if we get, let’s say, a Nightwing book and its all about his relationship with Barbara…That is not a Nightwing book, that’s a Nightwing and (fake) Oracle book.

Anyway, this issue in general is like a connector, the things that happen are all happening because they will be developed in the next issues but what is said here is absolutely absurd so I will be talking about that.

This issue starts with a flashback and Jason from the present (who is currently a popsicle because he fell in Freeze’s trap) having a monologue. The flashback is set when Jason finds out that his birth mother is alive and is being used by the Joker so he (in civilian clothes) and Batman at doing some reckon. What I want to dive into is the monologue because it's interesting but also very dumb so here we go.

“What was I supposed to do? I thought I was an orphan; I carried that sadness and anger everywhere I went and then I found the woman who gave birth to me halfway across the world. I found her…and the Joker. He was blackmailing my mother, forcing her to help him steal medical supplies, which he replaced with a deadly gas, that was being hauled to a village.”

“Batman knew what he had to do. Save people, forever saving people. Batman has always been a master of control, every situation, everyone around him. He’s always known just how to handle everything. Until I came along.”

“How could he be surprised? How could the great Batman not know? I wouldn’t listen to him and he couldn’t hear me. And the fucking cycle continues.”

The first part of the monologue is pretty simple it's basically setting the scene in time and space for the reader and it also gives us a little insight on how Jason was feeling at the time which was quite nice. It sets up the fact that Jason wanted to help his birth mother out of a horrible situation, he wanted to save her from the Joker. (Hear that DC, haters and fanon, Jason was a good Robin and a loving and caring son!!!!!)

In the second paragraph of the monologue I would have assumed that Dick never existed in this universe because the idea of Batman being able to control Robin!Dick or Gotham back in the day by himself is incredibly funny to me but because Dick exists and has been mentioned in this story already I will just take it as Zdarsky wanting to really push the “Jason could never reach the level of good Robin because he was reckless and nothing like Dick” and the “Dick was always completely obedient and Batman’s perfect little soldier” narratives. It sucks man, this is like bad fanon made real and I don’t like it!

During this part we also have a little dialogue between Batman and Jason where the narrative of Jason being so incredibly reckless is explicitly shown once more.

Let me repeat myself, Jason didn’t take on the Joker because he wanted to prove himself to the Bat or to prove that he was as good a Robin as Dick was, Jason did what he did because he wanted to save the last person that he had that he felt was family, he wanted to save the woman who birthed him and that he was hoping he could call a mother. He worried and cared for this woman and then he was betrayed and it ended up ending with him dying at the hands of a mad man that to this day is still alive.

Jason wasn’t reckless for the sake of being reckless, he took the decisions he took because he didn’t feel heard by the man that was supposed to protect him and care for him, a man that had the same feelings of sadness over being an orphan, a man that despite being the greatest detective to ever detective in the multiverse couldn’t understand that Jason felt like the woman that was his birth mother could come first in his list of priorities. Jason was a child and the adult responsible of him at the time bares the fault of his death as much as the mad man that committed the crime.

There, I fucking said it.

Gladly in the third paragraph of the monologue Jason calls out Bruce on his bullshit.

Also, what the hell was Bruce thinking leaving Jason stranded in the middle of the dessert, the man literally takes the only mode of transportation away from him. What the hell.

That’s it for the first glimpse at the past, now we are in the present with Ice!Jason where Zdarsky lies to our faces, he says that Jason is prepared for this situation…I am sorry but I do not believe this.

Anyway, Jason does manage to break the ice but he trips on the iced floor almost as soon as he breaks free and falls in a hole. Are you kidding me? I know this is supposed to be funny but Jason has been written as this incompetent dumbass in this book so much that this is just insulting.

He manages to escape for three or four seconds but he realises once more that the whole thing was a trap because Freeze had actually closed all the exists with ice because he meant to trap the Bat (also maybe Freeze is under the effects of Cheerdrops?), Jason also tries to use his guns even though he had already thought about the fact that they wouldn’t fire because of the cold AND he didn’t pack his explosives, yeah… “I am now prepared”, sure Jan.

The last thing we see in this scene is Freeze getting ready to ice Red Hood once more before we start jumping from past to present scenes as Jason’s monologue continues, he does that a lot in this issue, it’s quite impressive.

We jump into the past and we see Jason going to help his mother in his Robin suit, her betrayal and the Joker being ready to torture and kill a child. From there we go back to the present where Jason manages to ask Oracle for help but not anyone’s he asks for the Batman’s help.

First let’s talk about the monologue that happens across these scenes because it has some interesting takes.

“Stupid amateur, its not going to be okay, not if we keep repeating the same mistakes. He never trusted me, I never trusted him. Neither of us lived up to the idea of ‘Batman and Robin’, the ‘Dynamic Duo’. Because Batman and Robin requires trust, it requires knowing you can’t do it alone.”

Let’s be honest as per the modern take on Batman and Robin (if it includes Bruce as Batman) the dynamic is quite dysfunctional, Batman doesn’t know how to care for a child and children shouldn’t be responsible for an adult’s safety, so the whole thing has been weird for every Robin, its not something that happened only to Jason but here is the thing, in Under the Red Hood (which is canon in this story) when Batman and Red Hood fought side by side Bruce said the following: “…Neither of us has the strength to take him out, it will require skill and teamwork. It happens before I have time to question it, a manoeuvre that comes without thought, executed as practiced and practiced many times in the cave.”

So, him and Jason worked well, they trusted each other and the work they were doing but that is not all, because they are in the middle of a fight the Red Hood doesn’t act recklessly and takes the opportunity attack the Bat when he is vulnerable, he sticks to the coordinated fight because he trusts it will work. Batman’s thoughts confirm that because he continues saying this: “To complete it (the manoeuvre) I’m forced to leave myself unprotected from an attack, an attack from the Red Hood. But the attack never comes, he just takes cover from the blast, like practiced.”

– Batman: Under the Red Hood, chapter 10.

This thing alone, written in 2005 kills the narrative of Bruce’s Batman and Jason’s Robin not working well together.

Secondly, I have to laugh about what it's actually said in the very last panels. I am sorry but it's too funny to me, I know it acts as a parallel to Jason asking for the Bat when he was about to die but this is a man, a grown man that has experience on this job, this situation would have never happened if Jason was written fairly. This is funny because of all the people in the world I would never imagine the Red Hood asking for Batman’s help. Fuck that.

Oracle of course contacts Batman but let me say something really quickly, Barbara and Bruce are both acting like Jason getting in trouble and needing help is an annoyance. What the hell is wrong with these people? Why would Jason work with Oracle or Batman in the first place?

Batman gets in the Batmobile as soon as he can and dares call Jason his son. No thank you sir, I will not be taking that kind of bullshit today. Anyway, the Bat also has a monologue because he can’t be less, here it goes.

“Jason. Dammit, son. I’m on my way, I won’t let you…” (explosions) “You’re alive. In the here, in the now. I know this, like magic…with a curse…You’re alive.”

“I don’t need to be there again, in the past. I’ve learned my lessons, the guilt doesn’t help me, it doesn’t have a hold on me anymore. You’re alive, Jason and I intend to keep it that way.”

To this I have to say the following, the only reason why Bruce is not feeling guilty about what happened to Jason is because Jason forgave Bruce/Batman for not arriving in time in order to save Jason from the explosion back in that warehouse all those years ago. Jason forgave Bruce when the final confrontation happened in UtRH. He did it because he believed that Bruce tried and still didn’t make it.

- Batman: Under the Red Hood, chapter 13.

And something else, Bruce might have been “keeping Jason alive” but he has harmed him. Rebirth RHatO #25 exists, I don’t know if it's canon within this particular story but I can’t not bring it up if this is what this man has to say.

My take on the Batman and Red Hood relationship is that it shouldn’t exist. Red Hood is not a Batman villain but he IS a Batman antagonist. STOP making Batman and Red Hood work together, with how things ended in UtRH Jason would never work with Bruce again. I am sorry but the concept of the Batfamily with Jason as a willing participant is the biggest lie this fandom and Lobdell gave us.

Enough of my takes, let's go back to the issue because it's ending is closer and the funniest panels in this whole ass book are coming!

Batman does Batman shit and as he grapples out of the Batmobile, he manages to get Ice!Jason out of a truck and everything comes to a stop, the bad guys come out of said vehicle and one of them is going in Red Hood's direction with the intention of killing him, Batman of course saves Jason and starts fighting the rest of the baddies.

I will show you funny panel number one.

You really want to make me believe that Bruce can pull that move, shut up!!!! There is no way! That’s some Nightwing level of leg work, stop it, if the Bat pulls that move he will break something or get stuck like that…

Ahh it doesn’t matter because as Batman finishes defeating all the baddies he goes to Jason’s side and here is where funny panel number 2 comes!

STOP IT, WHAT THE HELL IS THISSS? I am losing my mind over this, have you ever seen something and thought “oh this is wrong wrong” like what? This interaction is so wild to me, everything about it makes no sense…Imagine putting Jason Todd in such a vulnerable position that he is, I don’t know, happy or glad that the Bat showed up and that Batman would say that he will always be there for Jason, this shit is hilarious.

But that’s not the end, at this point nothing should shock me (as far as character designs) but this dude shows up…

Who the hell is this guy, and why does he look like that, why are all these new character designs the same and horrible? He reminds me of the weird discount-Joker-looking dude that we had in Rebirth RHatO #52

Anyway, the new dude that will be called Cheer (apparently) and Freeze ice Batman as well and that’s it, our Red Hood related suffering is over up until next month!

This one, this one was wild, I don’t know what else to say about it…I am honestly drained after reading the issue and writing this.

Let me know what you thought about this issue and if you want to read my reviews of the previous parts I will link them here! Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3!

#jason todd #red hood #robin jason todd #batman urban legends #urban legends red hood #red hood outlaw

49 notes · View notes

haliyam · 3 years

Text

interim (iii)

zeke x reader/oc

summary: You return to Liberio not long after the Warriors arrive home from their failed mission in Paradis and discover that things have changed. (Or they will, and maybe a little more with Zeke than you expect.) [Season 4 and manga spoilers ahead]

AO3 link | Ch 1 | Ch 2 | Ch 3 | Ch 4

Hello! This came out longer than I meant it to be, but I enjoyed writing it. I admit that the chapter couuuld have gone without the middle bits, and I trimmed out a lot already, but this is purely self-indulgent fanfic and I love writing about the Warriors/the candidates, so I hope you enjoy it too.

Reminder that the Reader/OC is a cis-female Eldian character with a set background/surname, but please feel free to set the substitution for the Reader to your chosen First Name using the InteractiveFics browser extension if you’re reading through the browser! So on the browser extension that would be: Lucy = Your chosen First Name.

Chapter 3

If Zeke is going to shut his door in your face as soon as you try to enter, he gives no indication of it. Eyes to the ceiling, fingers barely grasping his doorknob, he doesn’t even look at you as you take one step closer, then two, only urging you to hurry up with a flick of his fingers. As if anyone else is still awake. With nothing for it, you step inside.

Zeke’s room is lit a warm yellow from the lamps standing next to his desk and sitting at his bedside table. It hasn’t changed much, save that he’s replaced his old bed with a much larger one. That makes sense, even though you hadn’t imagined he could get any taller as a child. The only other addition apart from his much fuller bookshelf is a pack of cigarettes on his desk.

You can’t help but pick it up. “You smoke now?”

Closing his door behind him, he snatches the pack from your hands and walks past you, tossing it back by his desk lamp on the way. “Problem?”

You shrug. You’re surprised, but you suppose that sort of thing doesn’t really matter when you’re a Titan shifter.

He pulls out the chair by his desk and takes a seat, crossing his arms at you with a brow quirked. Somehow, he manages to be intimidating in his pajamas—though that could very well be your guilt. “You wanted to talk,” he says. “So talk.”

The indifference in his voice makes your throat catch, but you steel yourself. “I’m sorry,” you say, one hand scratching at the other’s wrist. It seems your courage fell apart at his door. “I’m sorry I didn’t write for the last five years.”

“Why?”

“Because—because I should have.” You wrap your arms around yourself, tucking your hands under your elbows. “We were friends. You and Pieck were—are,” you hope, “my closest friends, and… and I left you hanging like that. Even knowing every year that the others hadn’t returned, how worried you must have all been… I didn’t write. I’m sorry.”

“No,” Zeke says slowly, irritated. His lip curls, and you feel nauseous. “Why did you stop writing back?”

Your nails dig involuntarily into your arms. “I was a stupid little teenager. I was upset.”

He scoffs, like he can’t bear the sight of you. “What did that have to do with me? ...With us?”

You swallow, eyes downcast, though they briefly flicker to his. “Am I secure here?”

Zeke glares at you. “Of course you are.”

“That’s not what I mean.”

His gaze softens just a little before the walls shoot back up. “Yeah.”

You nod. And then, after a long moment, you reluctantly begin. “Willy sent me to boarding school once I caught up with the necessary schoolwork. It was… well, you know. Boarding school was an entirely different world.” He does know - you had written them until the end of your first year. “And then summer came. Willy wanted me to spend it with them at home, and I did. The first week or so. But he had business to attend to, as always, and Mila invited me to her tour for the Foundation instead. Willy thought it would be nice for us to bond, and I thought…” You gnaw on the inside of your lower lip in embarrassment. “I thought she was finally giving me a chance.”

“Lucy,” Zeke murmurs. You can’t tell if it’s pity or disappointment, and you don’t want to know. You’re staring at his lamp, as if doing so long enough will burn out the memory from your mind.

“We visited Marley’s new southern nations at first. It was strange to be treated so well again.”

Zeke shifts in his chair. He has his cigarette pack in his hands now, fingers idly folding and unfolding the lid. “What did you expect? You’re Lucy Tybur.”

“I meant by Mila.” When he falls silent, you continue. “And then we visited Ulodana.”

Your eyes meet at that name. No reminder needed for that—Ulodana was the first country to which the regime deployed its new Warriors only months after they inherited their Titans. By then the rest of the unit had been informed of your true identity, and it was the brass’s idea to bring you along as a spectator. Imagine what more the motherland might achieve if the War Hammer were to join the fight, then-Commander Bruning had whispered to you, the mushroom cloud of Bertholdt’s transformation setting your eyes alight.

“The nations in the south had had time to recover. Grow accustomed to Marleyan rule. But Ulodana was still... bleeding. For the most part, we stayed in the cities which had already begun to rebuild; ones with budding military bases and an increasing Marleyan population. But Mila insisted on bringing us further from the coast—places you and I had last seen as smoking rubble. The people there were… They were still so afraid. Many of them…”

You gulp, pressing your lips between your teeth to regain your composure as you remember the survivors. You can still see them, hear them, smell them. Feel their hands in yours. Mila had pulled you aside and scolded you when you first shed tears before them, saying it was not you who had a reason to cry. And she had been right.

“So many of them were Eldians; others non-Eldians too poor to join the earlier evacuations. They still saw us coming that day, and with no aid forthcoming, they thought the Foundation had returned to deliver the finishing blow. They were terrified, Zeke.” His fingers fall still around the pack as you say his name, but he wears no expression, only studying yours even when he reveals nothing. Even Mr. Ksaver had been unable to read him when he was like this, so you know better than to try.

“Mila spoke with the people there, comforted them. It was jarring to see her so kind, but she was. And even then, it was hard. They aren’t exactly the regime’s priority, and the promise, even the swift arrival of aid with the Foundation’s help, could only do so much.”

Zeke’s gaze stretches far beyond the walls of his room, but he brings it back to you when you pause. “So,” he concludes, “you hated us for doing that to them.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“It is that simple. You saw what Lady Tybur wanted you to see.”

Appalled by the lack of sympathy in his voice, you square your shoulders at him. “Mila didn’t conjure those victims out of thin air, Zeke!”

“That’s right, Lucy.” Zeke rises out of his chair back to his full height, reminding you that he only lets you glare down at him. “The Warriors destroyed their military, their cities, and their homes. And if there were civilians who were too slow, Bertholdt and I destroyed them, too. The ones you saw just weren’t lucky enough to die.”

He advances toward you as he speaks, stopping near enough to barely graze your chin with his chest, and it takes all of the girl from back then to stand your ground. But you can only bear so much, and the sound of the boy you once trusted entirely so remorseless as a man has restrained grief ringing in your ears. “Don’t say it like that.”

“How should I say it?” Zeke asks closely, head tilted toward you. Even with the reflection of his lamp shining into his glasses, his eyes, half-lidded with what must be disinterest, bear no light in them. “Should I be crying like you, acting like you know what it was like?”

“I’m not crying.” You fix another glare at him, but it doesn’t last long. Your vision is blurry and your cheeks are wet with runaway guilt, and you wipe them with the back of your hand. “I’m sorry, all right?” you raise your voice, speaking forcefully through your shaking voice.

“I… I thought I’d seen everything here in Liberio, but that place was hell. And Mila said to me… She said it was greed back in Marley that kept things this way. The regime’s… but ours, too. To free the Eldians in the Marleyan internment zones, you… we... made things worse for everyone else in the world. I ate it up. I couldn’t bear to face those people knowing I had been a part of that, no matter our promise. It was easier to turn against the idea of you.”

Zeke is no longer looking at you. You feel like the earth swallowing you whole would feel better than the pressure crumpling at your chest, but there’s no way to go but forward.

“So I did. Held onto that for months and had nightmares about Ulodana for twice as long. By the time I realized how pathetic, how stupid I was… I was too ashamed to write back.”

The steel that has constituted Zeke’s bearing since your arrival has withdrawn. He seems exhausted, resigned as he sets his eyes upon you again. You watch each other for what feels like eternity, in the place where you first became friends, both trying to feel out whether a sliver of that bond between clean hands still remains between the two of you now.

Whatever it is he decides, he asks, “If you knew better... why didn’t you visit? We all heard about Lord Tybur making trips here over the years. He never stopped sending his gratitude to my grandparents and Mr. Finger, either.”

You huff, not at him but at the thought of your older brother, even as you sniffle. “Willy wouldn’t let me. I became… too willful.”

Zeke raises his brows at that.

“When I figured out Mila’s true intentions, I realized just how much the Tyburs were at fault. They hid it all from me when father died, but… I learned everything. Our relationship with the regime most of all.”

You’re grateful when he doesn’t ask you to elaborate, because despite everything, you don’t want to tell him the whole truth about the Tyburs. If there’s anything that might make him hate you for good, it might just be that. You know that certainly did it for you in spite of Lara’s good intentions.

“We knew. My ancestors knew about Fritz’s vow and still refused to speak out for Eldians, didn’t protest the development of the Warrior program when it happened. I mean—” Your hands rake through your hair, stopping only when they’re caught in the end of the half-ponytail you’ve been wearing. “Child soldiers? We always knew Marley was vicious, but we—Marley—sent children to Paradis on a recon mission, alone! I didn’t realize it until I saw my niece. She’s eight now. A baby. At that age we were slogging through the mud, learning to assemble weapons, to kill! What kind of monsters would allow…”

Your hands slide down your face and cover your mouth as your head shakes on its own. You’ve said this all before, to Willy, to Lara, to Pieck, and you’re exhausted. You both know the answer to that question, anyway.

“The Tybur family doesn’t get involved except to play the benevolent Eldians to the world’s devils, all to soften Marley’s image to the world. It doesn’t care that Eldians abroad are even worse off than we are here because of our Titans. It doesn’t care that Marley draws that debt on Eldia’s name,” you murmur, voice fluttering with emotion again, “not its own. Willy didn’t appreciate how angry I was and wanted to keep me at the estate until I could calm down.”

You only realize you’ve been rambling when all you hear is the cracking of your knuckles beneath your thumbs at your sides and the low hum of the lamps around you. Biting your tongue, you venture a glance up at Zeke, who has his back to you on his way back to the desk, hand in his hair. You don’t know if it’s worse than seeing what he must think.

“But I really am sorry,” you take a step, another after him when he doesn’t turn to look. “You all deserved more. I… I understand if...”

Zeke whirls just before you touch the hem of his shirt, seized instead by a thought. “Why let you choose to study here, then? Magath’s summons?”

At this point, you practically leap at the chance to respond, hands raised slightly. “No. It was Lara. She convinced him to let me, when she saw how much I’d studied. Actually studied, you know,” you chuckle, nervously when he acknowledges it with only a tilt of his head. “And by then I had learned enough of Mila’s game to pretend I had given up.”

“Oh.”

You barely just catch the disappointment in his tone.

“And I missed you,” you scramble to add, obviously. “I missed you all so much. I swore to be on my best behavior just so I could come back.”

A hint of warmth fills Zeke’s deep blues, but he glances away with a familiar eyeroll. “Good save.”

You frown. “I mean it. I just didn’t know it had to be said. You were my first friends. I didn’t exactly make many in boarding school. They were too different.”

“So you were just lonely.”

“Not just lonely,” you say, prepared to launch into another passionate speech about how much you ached to see your friends again, how much of your pride you sacrificed to pester Willy to let you go with the promise of Liberio’s impressive own medical program, when you catch the slight amusement tugging at Zeke’s mouth. “You—are you—” you sputter, embarrassment seeping in cold, before you manage to close your mouth. “You… are awful.”

Zeke smirks. “Even if I forgive you?”

It’s infectious, and you have to resist the urge to both laugh and cry at the very concept of his forgiveness. Eyes wide, you watch him carefully. “Do you?”

He crosses his arms again, sitting back against his chair. “I can put you through more hoops, if you’d like.”

“No!” you gasp, the heat of indignation taking over the chagrin, only to sigh when you realize you’ve given yourself away. “Well, I wouldn’t blame you. You have all the right to be angry.”

“...I was a pretty angry teenager too,” Zeke shrugs. “Then a spoiled little girl had to come and keep disturbing me because if she couldn’t get any sleep, then neither could I.”

Your jaw drops. “That is not how that went. Besides,” you raise your head, every inch the Tybur, even as you slowly make your way to the edge of his bed and take a seat, “that girl was the reason you have any friends at all. I… I bet you missed her.”

“Sure. Now where did you put her?” The full familiarity in his voice has you smiling now, or maybe it’s the grin he openly wears. “Only figured out it was you when I realized there could only be three Eldian runts Magath would ever care to acknowledge.”

You stare at him for a beat and then make to push yourself off the bed. “Anyway, I’m going to sleep now that I’ve apologized.”

“Aw, come on,” Zeke laughs, reaching for your arm, and you squint at him as you dramatically tear it from his grasp. Still, you fling yourself back upon the edge. He leaves his desk to occupy the space next to you, one knee drawn up over his sheets. “Honestly? I was more surprised they’d let anyone in Magath’s office with such a messy armband.” He reaches over and adjusts the pale one wrapped around your arm, pulling out the edges folded in. “You know you don’t need to wear this at home, right?”

For some reason, your breath catches as the heat of his fingers gently press through the cloth of your sleeve. You recover with a cough and a quick oops. “Force of habit. That was the one thing boarding school was stricter about than the military.” You smile at him, leaning away from his touch. “Thanks.”

Zeke suddenly withdraws his hands, now watching you instead of the sleeve. “...Yeah. Just make sure you check it before you leave the house tomorrow,” he says sternly. Not a tone you’ve ever heard from him in private.

Regarding him strangely, and desperate to bring you both back from this alien tension between you, you sit up straight and stiffly raise your hand to your shoulder in salute. “Yes, Warchief.”

Zeke responds with a blank look in his eye, mostly, save the tinge of humor kindled by the upward tug of your lips. You can tell he’s about to kick you out of his room.

“I’m kidding.” You lower your arm, sensing the return of that comfortable familiarity. “I haven’t congratulated you on your official promotion, either.”

His mirth fades. “Do you hate me for it?”

“No. No,” you stress, as though he has no reason to ask. “You’ve done what you’ve had to.”

After a long inhale, Zeke sighs as he nods. This time, it is he who fills the silence. “Uh—I’m sorry again about your father. So he was the...”

“Yeah.”

He gives you a once-over, as if to search for Titan marks. “Are you…?”

“No, I’m not.”

The slight bitterness in your voice draws Zeke’s gaze back to yours. You shrug before he can say any more of it and try to put it out of your mind. Those are, after all, matters for the Tybur estate. You’re here now, and Zeke has forgiven you. In spite of everything else, the thought makes you giddy with relief, and you rear your head toward him with a smile.

“So… is there anything you want to tell me?”

Zeke wonders who might have been chosen to inherit the War Hammer instead of its most obvious candidate, but mostly he’s glad it isn’t you. It’s a selfish thought he keeps to himself, but the idea of you living past your twenty-sixth year is one that does not fill him with dread.

Thirty-nine. He’s thinking about how you’ll live to be thirty-nine when your voice interrupts what he imagines you might look like by then. Your tone says you’re fishing for something, so he opens his mouth, meeting your gaze to tell you you’re not quite as much taller than Pieck as you think (he has one joke), nor is subtlety your strong suit, when the whole of you seems to come at him all at once. Your now messy hair, crinkled eyes, that expression he used to find both funny and irritating on your mouth—except the obnoxious grin that subsumes it as he lets the silence pass is suddenly... adorable.

Huh?

Sitting back, Zeke abruptly presses his palm to your face and promptly pushes it away. “Don’t press your luck, Blanchard.”

You smack his hand off, face flushed as you cry out, “Rude!”

He’s already laughing, using your indignation to overcome the urge to gulp down the breath caught in his throat when you suddenly lean back on his bed and raise your foot. You kick it into his side with a strength he absolutely remembers, sending his ribs knocking against his footboard with a groan. “Ow! You—get out of here and let me sleep already!”

You smile to yourself as you lower your legs to the floor, feet searching for your house slippers. “I chose not to go for your face, you know.”

“Are you seriously studying to be a doctor?” Zeke mutters, rubbing at his side. “You haven’t changed at all.”

You chuckle through a yawn, hand over your mouth as you ease yourself to your feet. “Okay.”

He rights himself quickly when you’re crossing his room toward his door already. “Lucy, wait.”

You stop, lean against his desk with a small smile like it’s your room. “Hmm?”

Zeke pretends to shake his head at your audacity, letting you grin a little longer before he asks, “Do you want to meet the new Warriors tomorrow?” You blink, and he starts to regret the question. “I just figured—”

“I’d like that.” You open your mouth, ostensibly to say more, when both of you hear movement from down the hall. Footsteps by the stairs. “I should go. See you tomorrow.”

He waves, content to watch you hurriedly leave his room. When he hears the door to yours open and click shut, he goes himself and catches his grandmother still sleepily making her way out into the low lit corridor. Her hands are searching for the stairway light switch.

“Grandma?” he asks, coming over to set a supportive hand along her upper back. “Why are you up so late?”

“Zeke,” she smiles in greeting, yawning. “I was just going to get some water.”

“Let me. I’ll get new glasses for you and grandpa, so go back inside.” When his grandmother thanks him, he heads for the stairs, bounding down the steps with sudden enthusiasm.

Your words will stay with him long after you’ve forgotten them, and perhaps not for the better—but for the moment, Zeke feels inexplicably light.

So do you when you awake the next morning. Of course you’re still sorry for all you did, or didn’t, do, and you know you deserved all the guilt, the anxiety, being on tenterhooks about your friendships for all that you left Zeke and Pieck hanging. But now that their forgiveness is a certainty, you feel utterly content. Now you can start making it up to them.

Then again, you are so pleased that you could lie in bed all morning and hardly feel guilty.

But you have miles to go, so you roll out of your blankets and get yourself ready for the day. Briefly, you wonder if Zeke has gone ahead again, but you find the answer you wanted as you open the door to the dining room downstairs.

He’s chewing on a piece of bread as he waves at you, the last bite in his hand. “Morning. Breakfast?”

He really has forgiven you, and everything can go back to the way it was. “Morning,” you beam, though you decline as you pass him on the way to the kitchen. “No thank you. I ate too much last night.” You pour yourself some water instead. “Did you have some of the blueberry pie?”

“Yeah. The Galliards always make quality stuff.” He dusts his uniform off as he stands and heads for the sink with his plate. “Though I could tell who cut it because she left the side with the slightly burnt crust in.”

“It’s crispy, and you know that’s my favorite part,” you huff, leaning against the counter next to him and handing him your empty glass. “That was part of my apology.”

Zeke grins, eyes to his task. “Yeah, yeah.”

You refrain from elbowing him and move to start cleaning his crumbs off the table and the floor. “Where are Mr. and Mrs. Yeager?”

“Market day. Oh—bring a book. We can drop in on the candidates come lunchtime.” He glances over his shoulder. “Or did you have other plans today?”

“I wanted to pass by the university and find the general book list for the first years, but after the line I went through yesterday... I’m not in the mood. I’ll bring a book.”

“Good.”

The two of you head out once the dining room and the kitchen are spotless. The sky is overcast this morning, so the zone takes its time waking up for the day, even with others already on their way to work.

It starts to properly stir on your way to the gate. The view of the zone coming to life is something you once enjoyed watching on break days, especially compared to the lonely silence of the estate and eventually to the rigid rush of boarding school, but you don’t get to see all that much today—Zeke purposely avoids the larger avenue coming to the gate and leads you through side streets and alleys instead. Something about avoiding the morning rush.

You don’t mind. You’re still waking up, too.

Eldians have no real hope of rising through military ranks, save those sacrificed among the Warrior unit, so Zeke’s office is quite impressive. He has his own mahogany desk, an entire bookshelf packed with volumes, yet more books and maps stacked against the wall, and his own gramophone. Not to mention the view outside the window behind his desk. He even has a cabinet to the side for his own alcohol, tea, or coffee—the latter of which he offers to you once you two arrive.

“Coffee, please,” you say, on one of the pillowed seats surrounding the coffee table at the center of the room. Sitting back, you throw an arm over the backrest to peer at the bookshelf behind you. “That’s quite a selection. I can’t believe you have your own office now.” You grin, turning back to watch him quietly preparing you a cup. “Zeke?”

“Coming right up.”

His response seems a little muted. When you question him with a tilt of your head, he jerks his in the direction of the gramophone.

Ah, you mouth. Even the Warchief can’t have his own office without being tapped. Par for the course when there are Eldians about, you imagine. That explains why the guards at the front gate delayed you with meandering conversation as soon as Zeke mentioned taking you to his office.

“So what kind of work do you do anyway, Warchief?” you continue far too seriously, absentmindedly flipping through your book for your marker.

“You know that’s top secret, Miss Blanchard,” says Zeke, who of course plays into it. “Unless you’d like to join the ranks again. You’re certainly welcome to.”

You sigh. You never win when you try him like this. “Commander Magath told you?”

Zeke chuckles, walking your coffee over. “He mentioned hoping you might still be interested in our line of work.”

“Was he mad?” Regardless of your feelings about the regime, you have always remained conflicted about your former drill instructor. There was a time you were certain he wanted you dead, and you won’t forget what he and Commander Bruning put the rest through even more than yourself, but there were flashes of kindness you saw from him that you’ve never witnessed from any other Marleyan as Lucy Blanchard. You still don’t know how to feel about him.

Zeke snorts at such a childish question, pulling out several folders from his desk drawer as he takes his seat. “Should I ask him?”

“Of course not!”

He chuckles in response, and then starts to ignore you completely for his work. Grumbling incoherently at him from behind your tilted cup for good measure, you turn to your book and begin to read.

Your coffee is long finished next to a similarly empty glass of water by the time you start yawning. You’ve read the same page thrice now, and that’s when you know you need to get off your ass and take a little walk around the room.

Zeke yawns as you start a cross-arm stretch by the door. “You’re so noisy.”

“The nerve of this man, inviting me to his office and then complaining when I breathe.”

He smiles. “Breathe more quietly, then.” Slamming the folder he was reading shut, he follows you to his feet and pulls at his sleeve to check his watch. “Almost lunch time. Want to go check on the candidates?”

Your deadpan stare at his earlier remark remains until you feel just how empty your stomach is. Skipping breakfast was not your best idea, but you prefer it that way before you have to see the poor children who will one day replace your friends. “All right.”

The two of you wind your way through the complex and out to the courtyard, where the sun remains blessedly hidden as you watch the children at the far end doing their loaded running for the day. You hear them more than you see them, panting as they do their best to earn the honor of that red armband on Zeke’s sleeve.

Zeke catches your doleful expression and lets out an exaggerated sigh. “I do not miss those days.”

You grimace at him. “My body hurts just remembering them.”

“Don’t remind me. I was dead last in my class before I built any endurance.”

You don’t comment on the real story behind that. The children are coming closer to your side of the courtyard, though they don’t appear to notice you, and Zeke points them out: Udo, a boy with glasses whose family moved to Liberio from Marley’s new southern territories; Zofia, a girl with a heavy fringe who reminds you strangely of Annie; Falco, a blond boy who—Zeke cuts himself off when the last candidate pushes past them all with a yell. That one is Gabi Braun, Reiner’s younger cousin.

“Cousin? Extended families aren’t made honorary Marleyans?”

“I was a special case, for obvious reasons,” Zeke answers your real question. “And yeah. Otherwise there would be too many of us, right?”

You frown, starting to fall into deep thought again when a familiar bark makes you nearly jump out of your skin.

“Hey! No Eldian civilians allowed on base!”

An older man is jogging over, almost comically shaking his fist at you. It’s as he comes up to the building that he notices Zeke on your other side, and now he peers more closely at your face, head cocked forward.

“You—” he starts. The years have been kinder to him than to Commander Magath, so there is no mistaking him. As his footsteps slow, his posture shifts from indignation to surprise, and then finally settles on diffidence. “Is that you, Miss Ty—”

“Blanchard,” Zeke coughs.

“Miss Blanchard?” he finishes.

“Instructor Marras.” Among the three who assisted Magath with Warrior training, he was probably the most bearable, if only because he left you to your own devices. He was much kinder when he discovered your true name, which was a shame. “What a pleasure.”

“We didn’t think we’d ever see you again around here,” he smiles widely, briefly acknowledging Zeke. “What brings you back around this end of Marley?”

“This and that,” you say, not quite in the mood to get into it when you can see the children still running. As though he’s read your mind, Zeke steps up next to you and signals toward them. “Isn’t it about time for lunch?”

Marras follows his gesture. “Ah. They got a little mouthy since I’ve been going easy on them, so training has been extended. But,” he says, attention back to his visitors, “you rarely come to check in on the new candidates, and you visit us even less, Lucy!”

Waving at you to wait just a moment, he barks at the children to come over. They’re even smaller than you imagined up close, just like your niece Fine, panting as they clutch their replica rifles for dear life. They do their best to salute Marras, but very obviously find it difficult to keep their composure when they see Zeke.

“It’s the Beast Titan,” Udo yelps.

“His name is Zeke Yeager, dummy,” Gabi nudges him with what she must think is a whisper.

Zeke raises his hand in a bland wave, “Hey, kids,” but you can’t help your delighted chuckle. Fine is a very reserved little girl compared to these excitable children. Wide with effort and at a real Warrior’s arrival, their eyes all dart to you, and Gabi’s in particular squint at your armband. “I thought civilians weren’t allowed in HQ?”

“And I don’t remember asking if you had questions, candidate,” Marras snaps in his Instructor Voice. The children straighten up at once.

“Sir, sorry, Sir!” Udo and Gabi yell out. Zofia and Falco quietly exchange glances.

“Hello. I’m Lucy,” you cut in with a smile. “I was a Warrior candidate in my time, just like you.”

You can all tell that they’re itching to ask why your armband is grey instead of yellow like Porco’s was until recently, but Marras doesn’t let them. You find yourself grateful to him for once. “It’s thanks to Zeke and Miss Blanchard here that you’ll get an early lunch in spite of all that yapping earlier. So thank them, get changed, and get your sorry asses to the mess hall.”

“Thank you, Zeke! Thank you, Miss Blanchard!” They mix up whose name goes first between the four of them, but Marras doesn’t bother with a correction and nods. The children salute, all of them a mixture of suitably chastised and utterly relieved.

“Dismissed!”

Nodding and offering you and Zeke grateful little smiles that make your heart melt, the four walk as quickly as they can to storage to deposit their load. Gabi nudges Zofia on the way, challenging her to a race, and the boys bump each other to catch up while Zofia chooses to keep her own pace, simply shaking her head.

Marras sighs, hand over his stomach. “I should get going myself.”

Zeke agrees, “Don’t let us keep you.”

“All right. But you should drop by more often, Miss Blanchard,” says Marras. “I’m sure the Commander would be pleased to see you. He worries. About all of you,” he adds, nodding toward Zeke.

Neither of you replies to that when Marras departs. In fact, you pretend not to have heard it as you both stare into the courtyard. “They seem like sweet children,” you start after a while, “though I don’t remember being that boisterous.”

Zeke breaks the mood with the most disgusting snort as he bursts into laughter. “You? Sure, Lucy. All right.”

You peer up at him, refusing to dignify such a violent reaction with one of your own, even if it does please you to see him laugh so much around you again. “You know what I mean. Maybe I was insolent, but I wasn’t boisterous.”

“Maybe, is it? Well, all I know is I’d grown out of all that by the time you and Pieck were selected.”

“Apparently not enough, Yeager, if you think Marley pays you to tour civilians around HQ.”

You and Zeke whirl in perfect sync to raise your right hands at that imposing voice, except you manage to swing yours right over your ear to pretend you were tucking stray hair behind it just in time to meet Commander Magath’s lifted brow. Behind him stand a surprised Porco and another Warrior candidate, much older than the eight-year olds you just met.

You clear your throat at once, hand falling to your side. “About yesterday, Sir...”

Magath nods at Zeke in acknowledgment before waving at you. “Don’t mention it, Blanchard. It’s a choice for a reason, and really it was supposed to be the briefing.”

That’s as much of an apology as you’ll get around the others, so you nod. “I understand, Sir.” You lean a little on your right side, trying to steal a peek around the corner. “So Pieck has already gone?”

“Not that you need to know, but yes.”

You try not to flinch at the reprimand. Force of habit. “And Braun, Sir?”

Now Magath peers at you. “His debriefing ends today, if you want to see him that badly. Yeager, I’ll leave that to you since she’s your guest.”

“Yes, Sir.”

With a nod of dismissal at all of you, he continues down across the courtyard, leaving Porco and the candidate behind.

Porco glances between you and Zeke. “Friends again, huh?”

Zeke stares at him. “Problem?”

You don’t know it, but that’s Zeke’s Warchief Voice, one Porco has never heard outside of training. He immediately shrugs. “Just curious.”

“All right. Lucy, we might as well have lunch first before you go see Reiner.”

You nod, and gesture unsurely at the two before you. “Would… you like to join us?”

“I’m good. Got errands to run for the Commander since Pieck is out and you’re too good for chores,” says Porco, gambling a glare at Zeke in jest. When Zeke chuckles, he sighs. “See you around.” Giving the quiet candidate next to him a light smack on the shoulder, he heads back the way they came.

By now the Warrior candidate looks very confused but also very familiar to you. Luckily Zeke has decided that it’s finally time to introduce you, a former Warrior candidate yourself—and then the boy, who cannot be older than fifteen. “This is Colt Grice. Falco’s older brother, and the new Beast Titan candidate.”

“Oh.” It feels like a weight has settled in your stomach when you realize that it is about time they selected the candidate meant to inherit from Zeke, who received the Beast Titan around a year ahead of the rest. Seeing the children just made you… complacent, think that there was more time. “I guess it makes sense that they chose someone a little older, too.” You smile, slightly guilty about his obvious unease after your reaction. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Colt.”

“No, it’s my pleasure, Miss Blanchard,” he says politely, shaking your hand.

“You can call me Lucy,” you insist, and then jab a thumb over your shoulder. “The children left for the mess hall, by the way.”

Zeke raises a hand to correct you. “Colt doesn’t need to know that. He’s not made to babysit them like I was.”

“Really?” you ask Colt, who nods in affirmation. “But that was half the fun.”

“She means half the torture,” Zeke says to Colt, who chuckles nervously at his superior. “No, I figured he could take on other responsibilities. Like letting the barracks know that Reiner’ll be having visitors after lunch, and then meeting us at the mess hall. Right?”

“Yes, Sir,” says Colt, clearly eager to please. He gives you another smile before he runs off.

“Falco’s older brother,” you repeat, when the boy is out of earshot. “This isn’t like Marcel and Porco. Why is Falco in the program?”

Zeke clicks his tongue. “The Grices are nephews of one of my parents’ co-conspirators. They need to prove their loyalty, for their family’s sake.”

“After all these years. Poor things.” Not that you’re surprised. Marley has a long memory, however false. “Did you have a hand in choosing him?”

“Wouldn’t that make the brass suspicious? It was the commander’s choice alone.”

“Huh.”

“They’re good kids, Colt especially. Now come on—” he nudges you forward with his elbow as he passes you, “you should eat before you see Reiner or you’ll lose your appetite for good.”

“...That bad?”

Walking ahead of you, Zeke only shrugs. You don’t know if that should worry or comfort you, so you follow suit.

Reiner is in his own room in the barracks, resting, when you visit him. He’s just finished eating his lunch when you arrive, and your shock at seeing him is a perfect reflection of his at seeing you. You last looked upon him as a boy, and though you know he only turns eighteen this year, he is now, most undoubtedly, a man. Almost everything about him is unfamiliar to you. His height, for one, his broad build, the slight stubble he’s neglected to shave for the past few days. His demeanor as he stares at you.

You thought Pieck spoke of growing up in general when she compared the two of you having become completely different, but it’s only now that you understand what she meant. Long ago, try as you might to deny it, the two of you were, with Porco, the most boisterous Warrior candidates in your generation. You left no challenge, even your superiors at first, unanswered; Reiner was certain, no matter his rank among you, that he would inherit before the Paradis operation; and Porco was quick to remind you how stupid and ridiculous you both were.

But that was many years ago. Porco failed but has remained mostly himself, and you failed and realized the sham that is Tybur pride. Between the three of you, only Reiner achieved his dream—and yet you are more similar with one another than with Porco. Even amid his utter shock, the shame in his gaze as he meets yours, though unfamiliar on Reiner to your eyes, is one you’ve intimately known for some time now.

“Lucy?”

“Reiner,” you greet.

Reiner smiles in spite of himself. You do too. You were never close, but if nothing else, you were still Warrior candidates together. “You’ve... grown.” His voice is deep now, just like Zeke’s, but his is… gentle. Another unexpected development.

“That’s an overstatement, compared to you,” you chuckle. He smiles just a little wider, almost shy, but only for a beat. He remembers swiftly enough when he is, just like you.

“How are you, Reiner?” you can’t help but ask. Wrong question. You quickly follow it up with, “I’m glad your debriefing has ended. You deserve to rest at home, with your family.”

“I…” He appears to disagree, lowering his head at once. For one heartbreaking moment, you wonder if you see a shimmer beneath his lashes, but he only seems curious when he blinks up at you again. “Thanks, Lucy.” His voice is steady. Maybe you were imagining things. “I can’t believe I haven’t seen you since you were called home.”

You don’t complain about the change in subject. “Yeah… I always wished I could have seen you all off,” you murmur, even if part of you is glad you didn’t have to witness Pieck’s sorrow firsthand. Seeing it in Reiner at the mention of the operation, though, you add, “Oh, actually—I just got back a couple days ago, not too long after the rest of you. I’m enrolling in the medical program at Liberio University.”

“Oh?” He considers your words. “So you didn’t…”

That is the question of the century about you, isn’t it? At least among the Warriors. But then who else really knows who you are? “No.”

“Ah.” Reiner nods, more times than is really necessary. You know he doesn’t know whether to congratulate you or to apologize. “The medical program, though. That’s… unexpected.”

“Why does everyone say that?” you laugh. “Is it really so strange for me?”

“Uh—no,” he replies with an apologetic rush. You realize just how much you dislike it in his tone. Zeke says you were always last to say sorry, if you did at all. The same went for Reiner. Where is that obnoxious little boy you knew? “It’s better that way. You’ll do great.”

“I hope to,” you admit, but this visit isn’t supposed to be about you. “Anyway, Reiner… I just wanted to see how you were doing. I missed you all, and I’m really glad you’re back home.”

He’s too slow to conceal his surprise this time, or the way he blinks away coming tears. He always was a bit of a crybaby. To a child who desired to live up to her family name, that was a weakness. To a woman who knows better, you wish you could have told him it was all right. “We… I missed you all, too. It was…” he swallows. “I...”

The truth is you were a crybaby too, just not in front of the others, but you can’t help it when you hear the tremble in his voice, so grown and yet still the same. The first familiar thing of his that you’ve witnessed. Flicking a knuckle at your nose, you nod when he trails off. “You don’t have to say anything. Pieck told me the little she could.”

“Yeah?” he asks innocently enough. And then his voice shifts into something just a little tougher. Maybe harder. “What did Zeke say?”

“Zeke? We didn’t really…” It comes to you as you say it. “...talk about it.”

Of course you didn’t. You were busy talking about you, and he quite literally pushed you away when you tried to ask. But that doesn’t seem to be what Reiner is searching for in the first place. Not with that look on his face—another familiar expression, but not because you know it from your own heart. It’s familiar because you saw it just last night.

“Should I be crying like you, acting like you know what it was like?”

Zeke’s eyes as he said those words were recalling a memory you can never understand, you know now, because it’s the same with Reiner. Whatever he went through in Paradis for years will only ever be a tale to you. Your shared memories ended before you turned thirteen.

Still, the resentment that you saw in Zeke remains in Reiner’s golden eyes; only this time you don’t believe it’s meant for you.

You reach out to him, clearly elsewhere as his fists clench over his knees, but stop when your hand rests on the edge of his bed. “Reiner?”

“Sorry,” he blurts out when he returns to his senses. Somehow, he seems more tired than he already did.

“That’s all right. I should let you rest.” When he nods, shoulders still slumped in apology, you put on a reassuring smile. You understand Reiner even less than you did before, but somehow he also feels more like a kindred spirit than you remember. “When you’re well enough to return, maybe we can have lunch with Pieck.”

Reiner visibly hesitates, but he nods in the end. “Yeah. That sounds nice.”

You bid each other goodbye, though you tell Reiner to stay seated when he tries to walk you to the door. When you close it behind you, glancing around, you assume Colt has been sent on another errand. Only Zeke now awaits you along the wall outside, one hand in his pocket as he smokes a cigarette, gaze once again far beyond the buildings ahead.

When he isn’t playing up his irreverence to deflect or get on somebody else’s nerves, Zeke has always been aloof in public. In that way he hasn’t really changed, but you realize now that you were a fool to think things could just go back to normal between the two of you. Not that they haven’t, on the face of it; he seems perfectly happy to return to your old dynamic, and maybe all this strangeness is just in your head, or a natural consequence of growing up.

Seeing Reiner, though… you realize maybe you were a little too hasty trying to go back. Just like you, just like Reiner, Zeke must have changed. You wonder how; wonder what he could have done, apart from suggesting the debriefing, that would make a now gentle Reiner wear such resentment. You have some idea, but you brush it aside before you can dwell on it.

“If you want to try smoking,” Zeke chuckles, “all you have to do is ask.”

You blink, cheeks tingling with embarrassment and a sheepish smile when you realize he’s caught you staring. He holds the smoke out for you, but you wave his hand away. “No thanks.”

“So?” He pushes himself off the wall, putting the cigarette out under his shoe. “What do you think?”

You fall into step with him and take a deep breath. “I think maybe he just needs more time to rest. Grieve properly.”

“Generous evaluation.”

“I think it’s more… it’s not my place to say.”

Zeke regards you with an indecipherable look, but it disappears as soon as you try to capture it. He only shrugs. “Okay. I need to get back to work. Want to stay, or will you be going home?”

You pretend to give it some thought. “I can stick around your office a little longer.”

“Good. Just try to keep it down.”

He chuckles at your eyeroll and starts to head back to the offices with you in tow. You stare at his back as he turns a corner ahead of you until he glances over his shoulder, ensuring you’re still with him. You give him a smile, brows raising with a question he answers with a shake of his head. But he’s smiling too, the one you got to know past that wall of apathy, and you know that he can’t possibly have changed all that much.

Zeke is still your best friend—the only one who knew everything about you, and the one who trusted only you with everything about him. You’re sure of it.

/////

I mean, obviously, aside from Mr. Ksaver. Do I think Zeke was the guy whose only friends were younger kids he was forced to interact with for his own survival? Yes. His best friend in canon and the only important person he trusted in his childhood/adolescence was his father stand-in, and even if as he grew up I'm sure he became more sociable (and likeable/'admirable' to Marleyan Eldians as a Warrior), Zeke's existence is a lonely one in my eyes because of the way he viewed life and the lives of others. There would have had to be certain circumstances to gain his absolute trust I think, so feel special, Reader/Lucy. Haha. I swear I love Zeke even if I see him as this sad and lonely bastard.

Also, I know it's not obvious, but I don't dislike Porco. I actually like him a lot (except when he's like -that- to Reiner) and he influenced/es Reader/Lucy more than he knows. And I know I didn't mention Bertholdt in this chapter but that would have been a sensitive topic for Reiner, so Reader/Lucy knows to avoid it for now. (I just wanted to make that disclaimer because I love Bertholdt and I miss him a lot.)

Thank you for reading! I would love to hear what you think so far.

33 notes · View notes

masterhandss · 4 years

Text

‘My Next Life as A Villainess’ Anime is over...

SO WHAT NOW???

A lot of us are disappointed that Katarina’s adventures are finally over, and a lot of us are gonna miss watching the wacky hi-jinks of our dense villainess. I’ve seen a lot of people say that they will stop posting or paying attention to hamefura after the anime ends, and while I might be the same to some extent, I just want to say that there are still a lot of hamefura things to look forward to after the anime ends!

These are actually some very obvious things to look forward to, but you know I’d still like to share them so you can use them to fill the hole in your heart that the anime left behind.

-------

Edit: (9/30/20) I added stuff, as well as a cut for all yall who says my posts are too long qwq

The Manga

Hamefura still has an on-going manga that is currently in Chapter 3 of the Light Novels! A lot of you already read it, and understand that it can get frustrating when there’s a lack of updates on the english side of things, but if you’re really curious, you can go over and check out the JP releases every month so you can have an idea of whats to come for the manga :DD (The fan translation of ENG Chapter 26 came out a few days ago so you know it’s not dead!!)

I’d recommend reading the english translation on Mangadex, since most translation groups officially upload their translation on there.

The Spin-off (Hametsuo/Bakarina Alter)

It deserves it’s own category for just how unique it is in terms of its reception in the western crowd. I know a lot of people probably read it, but I guess people barely talk about because it’s not really that far into it’s premise yet.

I just can’t stop recommending this manga to people (despite not going where I thought it’d be) because of how good the art-style is and how much promise it has. It updates monthly, which I know is a long wait, but it does pay off when you see the quality of everything. Plus it’s just fun to imagine how hamefura would go if it followed the typical “villainess otome isekai” format.

I actually love talking about hametsuo, so maybe my posts are woth the look ;; w ;;

The Light Novels

credits to @sparckle-art for the scans!

I’m happy to read that a lot of people are gonna go switch and buy the light novels after the anime ends! By the time the anime ends, the Vol. 6 of the LN would release a week later, acting kind of like a replacement of what is supposed to be a new episode for that week.

The fan-translated version of the web novel is available online, up until half of Vol. 4, but I still recommend buying the books on bookwalker (i don’t know if the sale is still there, but I’d recommend picking up the book regardless!). If reading the fan translation piqued your interest, then playing for the books would definitely worth your money if you ask me!

An increase of sales might show them that there’s interest for this light novel, and might make them translate the JP novels even faster! (or maybe i’m just too impatient to wait 2-3 months for Volume 7 dshfjsfgs who knows?)

My only warning is that the tone really does shift post-arc 1 (Fortune Lover I) so if you’re looking for harem hijinks, from spoilers I’ve seen I think there would less of that and more of world building. (ps. please stop asking me where to read it ;;-;;)

Edit: Volume 8 is coming out in a few months, with Volume 9 probably being released at either Jan or Feb next year, then after that it’ll be a yearly update

StoryMe Otome Game

credit to the hamefura reddit discord for the screenshots!

I’m surprised a lot of people doesn’t know about the StoryMe game, despite it updating every week alongside the anime. Just kidding I didn’t either lol, I actually found about this thanks to the hamefura reddit discord server! StoryMe is a choose-your-own-adventure otome game, kind of like those “Episodes” or “Chapters” game that gets recommended on Youtube a lot.

It’s still in japanese, which is probably why not a lot of people knows of it yet, but it seems like you can play as Katarina and romance anyone from the entire harem (yes, the girls too), so keep you eyes peeled for if ever it gets an english translation!

It’s basically the bluray Fortune Lover game with the DVDs, but instead of Maria, you actually get to play as Katarina!

(I’ll make a separate post for this later, maybe)

Edit: The game just came out in English in September 16, and just spat out a 11-episode update at September 30

tldr: go play it, it has 19 episodes out right now

Katarina’s Farm

It’s a newly announced mobile game with a web trial version that centers around playing as Katarina, trying to earn money and points for expanding your farm land, planting more expensive plants and getting the other members of the harem to join you! It’s a 2D pixel game that seems like it wouldnt take too much time to play (you can get the first 4 characters within 30 minutes of gameplay, but that might be adjusted in the mobile version) so I understand if it might not interest some people, but that’s still something to look forward to!

I made another post about it so check out the link to the web version here!

The Bluray Otome Game

While I can’t say this for certain, but maybe if there was ever an official english bluray release, it might include the Fortune Lover Male Capture Target Routes that are included in the game. Maybe someone will play it and translate it even! It would interesting to see how different the boys are, and give us further appreciation for Katarina’s influence and changes!

There’s a preview for a CG in Keith’s Route, which comes with the second bluray (no pv for Geordo ;; w ;;)

Edit: All the boy’s routes are out in Japanese

We don’t know if they’ll ever be released in English though, so hopefully someone translates them at least ;;w;;

The Manga and Yuri Anthology

Missing the hilarious and heartwarming antics of Katarina and her harem? Then you should check out the Manga Anthology (that has just been been translated in its entirety). It’s 14 chapters of absolute hilarity!

There’s also a Yuri Anthology, featuring the 4 girls of the harem! If you’re looking for more of that then, it’s an absolute recommendation!

Spin-off Visual Novel

Edit: They recently just announced a spinoff visual novel! It takes place after the Fortune Lover 1 Arc and features sexy pirates hgsjhgsdf

It’s just recently announced so there’s not a lot of info besides the company making it (it’s Otomate) and the fact that it’s gonna be an all new Bakarina adventure uwu

Bakarina Radio

I heard there’s a Bakarina Radio too, featurning the VAs of the anime cast.

I don’t know if its a regular thing or a one time thing, but its still worth checkin out!

https//twitter.com/hamehura/status/1309831738525278209

The Second Season of the Anime

I seriously wasn’t expecting another season, considering how different the next arc is, but I’m happy nonetheless for more Bakarina! I hope this motivates the fans to continue supporting the series, as a bigger reaction will definitely lead to more content for us to enjoy! I have a theory about S2, which I think is worth the read :3c

Other Otome Isekais

There’s a lot of other Villainess Otome Isekai’s that are worth the read, and a lot of them as just as interesting as hamefura, despite the lack of a harem (from deep rooted revenge to hilarious and crazy villainess, there’s a lot!) The quickest recommendation I can give is just looking up “Akuyaku” and “Villainess” on Mangadex (do both btw they dont have the same results), but theres a lot that doesn’t get recommended so do your research! I swear it’s worth your time!

Anyways, I hope any of these fill the hole that the hamefura anime will leave in our hearts as we wait for season 2! (sorry for repeating the same line again hdsfgdjhsfg) Feel free to add anything like fanfic recommendations and artists, as I can’t cover everything on my own, as those really help provide hamefura fans with content :DD

398 notes · View notes

songbirdsingingthings · 4 years

Text

Chapter Three - Play Me A Melody

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these characters, they belong to Kohei Horikoshi

Previous Chapter ~ Next Chapter ~ Series Masterlist ~ Main Masterlist

Word Count: 2.5K

It seemed that fate would simply not grace you with a nice outing accompanied by a one Shouto Todoroki. A huge rainstorm had descended upon Musutafu overnight, completely barring any outside activities for at least today, maybe even tomorrow. You sigh with disappointment as you look outside the long windows that belonged to your bedroom, the ivory white curtains pulled back to reveal the downpour. Normally you quite enjoy the rain - its presence like a freshly washed sheet on your bed, bringing a new sense of calmness to the world. But you really wanted this day, just this one day to enjoy the outside world.

“No matter how fierce your stare, it won’t change the weather’s mind, my dear.” You heard your fathers words as he entered your bedroom, giving you a knowing smile. The entire Yagi family seemed to accept the fact that you were looking forward to your time with the duke’s son, even though you hadn’t an inkling as to why those desires made themselves known.

“Mother Nature won’t make an exception for me?” You joke half-heartedly, turning around to meet your father’s gaze. He holds out his arm and you take it gently, allowing him to lead you down the staircase. “I assume Izuku is with Lady Uraraka?” You inquire, a small smile settling on your lips. You catch your father nodding out of your peripheral vision and mentally rejoice for your brother. “Izuku as a fiancé, I never thought the day would come.”

“Come now, Y/N, don’t be mean,” Your father insists, turning the both of you now towards the parlor.

“I’m not Father, I promise, it’s just hard to believe he will be leaving the house so soon.” A forlorn expression graces your features as your father takes a seat on one of the plush couches - the one that your mother always used to occupy. He gives you a smile and takes your hand gently.

“I know it’s bittersweet, but think of the happiness Izuku will experience with his bride-to-be. There’s no conceivable reason that we could shield him from such joy.” Your father’s eloquent words resonated with you, giving you much needed solace when it came to the departure of your sibling. “Would you do me a favor, dear?” He asks, flipping open a book next to him.

“Anything, Father,” you say, words flowing easily.

“Would you play me something?” He asks with a smile, a sparkle seemingly in his eyes. You frown in confusion and tilt your head a bit.

“On the pianoforte?” You asked, trying to confirm his wants. He hums in response and pats your hand, letting you go. You make your way over to the little bench that sat in front of the pretty white pianoforte that stood proudly in the corner of the parlor, sheet music already propped up. “Any requests?” You ask as your hands ghost over the keys, feeling the smooth surface.

“Wherever your heart takes you.” You smile at your fathers words and set your hands above the keys, prepping for the music. It was a piece that was always in your mind - one your mother would play all the time whenever the four of you would all be in the parlor together. As soon as the notes flooded from the pianoforte, you felt yourself get lost in the music. With your eyes closed and your mind set on the melody, you let your fingers fly. Young women of your status are expected to learn how to do several things - needlepoint, painting, conversational skills, but your favorite was always learning how to play the pianoforte. It felt like less of a chore and more of a hobby to you. Memories of your mother sitting next to you on the very bench you were sat on were recalled to the front of your mind. You remember your legs used to dangle off of the mahogany seat, your hands barely reaching the white keys. All too soon they fled back to the depths of your mind, washing away as you played the final notes of the song. You took a deep breath after you finished and smiled.

“That was lovely, wouldn’t you agree?” Your father said. You rolled your eyes and rearranged the loose sheets of music in front of you.

“You will not have me praise myself Father, I couldn’t be so-”

“It was beautiful.” A voice different from your father’s drowned your senses and your eyes flicked immediately towards where your father sat, and where you found Shouto Todoroki. “Really, Y/N, you are quite talented.” You didn’t even try to hide the giddy smile that was spread across your face as you basked in Shouto’s compliment. You stood from the bench quickly and ran a hand down your dress to smooth it out.

“Thank you, Shouto, you flatter me. Don’t mistake me, I’m very glad you’re here, but may I ask you why?” Your question seemed to strike him as the red-and-white haired man straightened and his grip on his coat pocket seemed to tighten.

“Oh, ah, right,” He said, stammering a bit. “Well, because of the rain our outing got canceled, but I still wanted to enjoy the afternoon… with you…” He said. Your stomach seemed to be performing somersaults as you took in his words, reveling in the fact that he was there personally to see you.

“I would enjoy that very much Shouto,” you assure him, stepping forwards before both him and your father. “May I?” You ask your father. The man simply flips to the next page and suppresses a smile.

“As long as you are dropped off at home before 5:00 p.m. - that is when I expect Izuku to be back.” He says, granting you permission. You hold back a squeal and give your father an enthusiastic nod. Your eyes glance back to Shouto’s when you take in his rainy-day appearance.

“Ah, right, let me get my shawl and I’ll be right down.” You tell him, walking quickly towards the staircase leading upstairs. You break out into a sprint when you’re out of his eye-sight and forcefully open the doors to your armoire, your fingers carding through all of your clothing. Finally finding what you were looking for, you pull on the shawl and tie the ribbon in front of you, securing it in place. As a last minute thought, you grab a ribbon of the matching color and tie it nicely around your hair. You give yourself a once-over in the mirror before flying back down the stairs to meet Shouto. You smile at him before taking his arm as he leads you outdoors. It’s just customary, this is just what happens when you are accompanied by a man, you remind yourself, the feeling of his soft jacket on your fingers. That’s when you realize - your gloves! You had completely forgotten them in your flurry of activity. Shouto seems to recognize your panic and swallows, a light blush apparent on his cheeks. “I-I can go back and get them,” you propose, already turning back towards the staircase.

“It’s fine.” He says quickly, giving you a nod. “I’ll, uh, just be wary of where my hands are- not that they’d venture anywhere!” Shouto exclaims, looking away from you and instead straight ahead of him, not bearing to embarrass himself any further. You give him a light smile at him and continue your walk outside of the door. To your surprise, no carriage was waiting in front of your home - instead, a simple umbrella was propped up against the side of the house.

“Shouto, did you walk here?” You ask, seeing him flick open the umbrella to hold over both of your heads.

“I didn’t want to bother any footmen - I myself would hate to stand outside in this rain, so I figured they would as well.” The walk was silent for the most part, just little comments here and there about things that came into view or were on the front of your minds.

“So where are we heading?” You ask, clutching a little bit more tightly onto Shouto’s coat, the chill of the downpour finally making itself known to your skin.

“My original thought was to visit a quaint little café near my estate, but looking at the weather I fear it might be a bit much.” Your heart fluttered at how he was prepared for your outing and could tell that he was sad that both of the plans he had made were unraveling due to the rainstorm. All of a sudden, a loud boom of thunder cracked in the sky, sending a shiver down your spine and a yelp from your mouth.

“I, uh, would have to agree the weather is quite ferocious,” you confess, laughing slightly at your little outburst. The two of you saw a bolt of lightning flicker across the sky, causing Shouto to walk a little bit faster.

“Come, my estate is not that far from here, we can take shelter there until the storm has passed,” You were all too happy to go along with him, that a concern of yours almost lay forgotten.

“I-I couldn’t possibly - it is one thing to be strolling about a public square with you, but entering your home-”

“I have a sister - she can serve as a chaperone.” Shouto interrupted, reassuring you of worries. You nodded quickly, and along with Shouto, walked briskly to where his estate took up residence. It was absolutely breathtaking - the large oaks that bordered the road were perfectly symmetrical, there were two ponds on either side that were shimmering, and the house. Of course, you were very privileged yourself and could afford many pretty things, but just looking at the Duke of Endeavor’s mansion made you feel leagues beneath the man standing next to you. “Let’s head inside, we wouldn’t want to catch a cold, would we?”

“No of course not,” you said breathlessly, still taken aback by the size of his home.

As soon as the doors were pushed open, four servants were already there, awaiting Shouto’s beck and call.

“Shoji, please ring the seamstress and ask her to bring up some new clothes for Lady Yagi, she is simply soaked to the bone. Asui, if you would please prepare any accommodations the Lady might need, that would be wonderful. Hagakure, I need you to call for my sister so that she may be present when Lady Yagi is able to greet me again. And Tokoyami?” Shouto hesitated at calling his last servant's name. “Alert my father that we have a guest.” All of a sudden, the maid you knew to be Asui escorted you to the left wing of the mansion, urging you to go into one of the rooms. Even if it was just a guest chamber, it was absolutely luxurious. From the four-poster canopy bed to the massive bathroom, you felt as if you had just entered heaven.

“I’ll prepare a bath for you, ma’am, feel free to undress and pull on that robe laid out for you on the bed,” Asui shuffled into the bathroom and began to draw the warm water as you unbuttoned the back of your dress, feeling relieved as the heavy and wet layers were peeled off of your skin. Quickly, you put your arms through the sleeves of the silk robe, reveling in the feeling of the soft fabric kissing your skin. “Alright ma’am, it should be ready,” Asui says, stepping out of the bathroom.

“Thank you so much Asui, I really appreciate it,” you say warmly, lightly touching her shoulder before you step onto the cold tile. You made a beeline straight for the bath and immediately sank your body into the tub, sighing in relief as the warm water washed over you. Just for about ten minutes, then I’ll exit and get dressed, you tell yourself, making a mental note. You took care to rub the soap over your skin and inhaled deeply, sensing the scent of ginger and vanilla. “Must be expensive,” you mumble, noting how strong the vanilla scent was. “This had to be imported from Madagascar.” You shrugged and continued to wash yourself, then drained the water when you finally finished. You pulled the robe back on and stepped into the chamber, finding a dry - and seemingly brand new - dress on the bed. It was utterly gorgeous - the pale yellow color reminding you of spring, the neckline sweet, and the puffs of the sleeves perfect. As you step into it, a small piece of paper falls to the floor. Curious, you pick it up, and blush as you read it.

This is Lord Todoroki’s favorite color - it seems he has taken a liking to you, so we wanted to make you shine! - Yu Takeyama, official seamstress of the Todoroki family

You grin at the little note and tuck it into the side of your dress, saving it to keep. After snapping the last button into place, you gathered your hair and put it up into a simple updo - a bun with some braids wrapping around it. Finishing it all off with a pale yellow ribbon, you stepped out of the room to find Asui, Hagakure, and a woman a few years older than you.

“Ah! You must be Lady Yagi! It’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m Shouto’s older sister Fuyumi,” She says warmly, giving you a pleasant smile. Your eyes go wide and you dip into a curtsy.

“The pleasure is mine, Your Grace, thank you for allowing me into your home,” you say calmly, coming back up to meet her eyes. With a kind smile and a nod of her head, she leads you down one of the many hallways of the estate. The two of you make small talk, commenting on the latest styles of dresses for young women these days, how sudden the storm was, and small anecdotes about the last ball. However, the two of you were interrupted by someone shouting in the room next to you.

“-have you completely lost your mind?! Inviting some loose woman into our household?!” A feeling of dread settles into your stomach as you quickly comprehend what, or rather who, was the topic of conversation. You.

“Father, I will not have you speak of Lady Yagi that way. She is a friend of mine’s sister, and she has become quite a good acquaintance of mine!” Shouto’s outburst made you feel a bit uneasy, your arm reaching for Fuymui’s next to you.

“A good thing she is just that - seeing as you are to be engaged to the daughter of Count Yaoyorozu.” Those words caused ice to flood your senses. Mindlessly, you turn around and head straight to the front door of the estate. You heard nothing but your heart beating in your ears - you couldn’t hear Shouto’s argument that no, he wasn’t engaged to Momo Yaoyorozu, the daughter of Count Yaoyorozu. You couldn’t even hear Fuyumi pleading you to stay, but most importantly, you couldn’t see Shouto burst out of the study that he and his father were yelling in, catching the glimpse of you running out of the door.

A/N: Houston, we have a problem... are we approaching a bit of... angst...?

58 notes · View notes