#its very clear if youve actually seen anything about the game

[shadow0-1]

I mean i looove Valeria, i think she's portrayed nicely as a woman in a world dominated by men BUT what i don't get is how it goes over someone's head to call her a tragic hero instead of villain?? Aus and all that are fine, I'd do that too but she's literally murdering people in las almas to send a "message"??? She's a friggin drug crime lord that has possibly done god knows what to her city and beyond just because she acknowledged to herself her way is better.

And now she's going to fight fire with fire with Alejandro. C'mon like villains can be evil and they can still be great characters, no need to goodify them smh , sorry for a wee rant

It's true and you should fucking say it

[mourninglamby]

its actually cool to see people dissect minecraft roleplay like this, like to me yeah it was just a block game but the dark subjects matters just intertwined in a way that made it very... strange? i guess?

i feel like to really get it you have to have a certian amount of respect for the story and medium but also scorn of it, like i have sooo many problems with how things went in a million different ways, but i also think that when it worked it worked wonders. so its interesting to me for someone to dig deeper then the surface and really see it for what it was objectively

i hate that its attatched to the minecraft youtuber fandom in general because for the majority of time i was wathcing I was soley in it for a story, I dont think i even checked out a non story realated stream until like... june of that year

and i hate dream but like you said him being there and playing such a character just ads to the levels of weirdness and rawness

c!tommy got me through a dark dark time in my life, esp exile. I dealth with abuseful neglect and manipulation all my life, and i was in deep bouts of depression when those streams were coming out. but literally seeing a character portray such a raw and ugly realality of those things and yet still get back up again was comforting and cathartic

to me it was the colaboration between actor and audience that really made it unlike anything else, and also what really led to its destruction. but im glad it was there when i needed it

This is well said anon and I’m so sorry you went through something like that. Dsmp found me at a very terrifying time in my life in regards to trauma. I don’t want to get into it just as I’m sure you don’t either, but when youve been a victim of abuse, you gain a perspective that nobody else has. Your mind is permanently altered. We see things that might not be as easy to detect let alone digest for those who havent experienced that reality. or even people who are currently working through that trauma who don’t understand how to deal with it or approach it yet. And that’s not good nor bad. It just is.

I think it’s. Hard. It’s very hard to talk about. And it’s by design! I definitely agree some of the performances were amazing but with very little consideration for what to do next or how to conclude those arcs, things got messy quickly and I think they relied on their dogmatic rabid fans to deflect any serious criticism of that. And I expected them to! I expect people who tread dangerously to know what they’re doing, but they didn’t know what they were doing. That became clear to me very quickly.

And ya it is still very important to me as well… I have never seen myself in another victim in fiction quite as well as I have c!tommy. And I have found so many like minded people that I cherish and love so much. I just got back from hanging out with someone who I got close with online during dsmp! So as disgusting and scary as the community was, yes, I am also very glad it was here when I needed it. Because I needed it.

I hope we can all continue to heal from these experiences and move on to make/consume kinder art together 🌈💫💗

(Oh also I didnt/don’t(it’s complicated) care about the real people either. I actually was so detached I believed dsmp was all they did! It’s crazy how much of a second thought a lot of this was in hindsight. Which is both infuriating and worrying)

[gamestop-compendium]

Cat Frenzy (FUN UNIT, 2012)

:3

ah, cat frenzy. takes me back, this one does. originally sold on the dsi shop for 200 Nintendo Points (roughly 2 USD), Cat Frenzy is a match puzzle game where you slide rows or columns of cats to match 3 of them and clear them from the board. easy! you can only slide them left, right, or down, and you can push the cats out of the playboard. the stock button adds more cats to the board to work with, and once you run out of cats the game ends. there are also bonus cats! cats in cans that add 10 to the stock, cats with 2x multipliers that double the points you get from that match/chain, and cats with fish that clear every cat of that type on the board. nice way to make the game more interesting ...or at least, that's how it is in quick play. in mission mode you have to clear all the cats it tells you to, increasing in difficulty over time. most of the missions consist of "get a chain of [x] with [y] amount of moves" with different twists, such as rocks on the board or certain patterns of cats you have to work with

i played SO MUCH cat frenzy when i was a tadpole. like SOOOOO MUCH. it still holds up fairly well, but i will admit that it gets kinda boring after a while. its largely just the same type of thing over and over again. quick play is a fun diversion especially for car rides with nothing else to do, but not really for big road trips of the same nature. good tool for getting a baby frog addicted to puzzle games though! plus it has a save/load feature in quick play, which i think is pretty cool

the mission mode is pretty solid. i feel like id be better at the missions if it wasnt currently 2:25 AM as im writing this line. the first 8 serve as a tutorial for the game as a whole, and the other 40 are actual missions. unfortunately it is 2 in the morning. i cant get past mission 13 as of writing this, but honestly i sorta stopped trying. still a good mode! my brain is just drifting in and out of focus. whoops

the music is an odd beast. cat frenzy has a total of 2 songs -- one for the title screen and one for the gameplay -- and while theyre good, they can very easily get a little grating. theyre real catchy though! ive had the title screen song especially inscribed into my neurons for about a decade ...this is normally where id link to the ost or something, but from what ive seen nobodys ripped the music for this game yet. go figure. ill see what i can do about grabbing the 2 songs from this thing, but i havent done it before, so it might take a little while. stay tuned! (or dont, we advocate for free will and autonomy on this page)

the overall sound design, however, is somewhat lacking and bizarre. there are sounds for things -- moving cats, hitting buttons, etc. -- but i cant say that they make much sense. each type of cat meows differently when you tap it to move it! theres a drum hit when you match cats!! you get cute fanfare when you hit a new level in quick play/clear a mission!!! those are fun!!!!! but the buttons make weird and baffling sounds, most notably:

the stock button is a spring sound

the hint and retry buttons are squeaky toy sounds (same for the menu button in mission mode)

hitting the "to the main menu" button in mission select just makes a cartoon bonk-honk sound (zonk? whonk? idk what it would count as. very likely youve heard it before at some point in your life though)

the menu button in quick play makes a sound thats a mix between paper shuffling and cicada wings (paper cicada?)

the main menu buttons make a weird kinda cork squeak-esque sound i cant describe and, most importantly,

hitting all the other buttons makes a sound i can only possibly transcribe as a swift and soft (squeedle-eek!) noise its confusing. some of these are only tangentially cat related, but most are just completely unrelated to anything in the game. whats the deal here????? did they just buy a buncha stock sounds for this game? so strange to me. regardless, the sound design just isnt all that good. these sounds are funny at first but eventually even the meows become incessant and droning. the best way to get the idea of the kind of experience it is would be to play it yourself. there's very little gameplay of this game online, and what we do have is either mostly silenced in lieu of an admittedly pretty cool song that nonetheless appears nowhere in the game or has about the same video quality as a stick of celery

i will note -- i dont fucking know WHAT that image from the dsi shop page is. i completely wiped it from my memory over the years, but looking back that pink cat is probably why i even bought it. the official page and trailer also claimed these cats are "stuck in a well" and need rescuing, but the board is very clearly a house and these cats are clearly not in any sort of distress. what gives? the cats in-game are more than cute enough to be marketable to 2012 audiences! tell me why you did this, fun unit! i need to know!

overall rating: 5.3 - It's Alright. cat frenzy is a cute little diversion. not the best, mind you, but it's good. it's serviceable. with some kinda-repetitive music and gameplay that starts getting stale in the same timeframe as an apple oxidizing once its cut, youre still better off playing it for the more boring stretches of time you encounter in your life. unless you have a kid who likes cats! it's damn good fun for anyone under 12, but slowly loses its luster every year afterwards. Do Play.

[chatoyism]

The Hellevator ; 零

➺ summary: you awaken in an uncomfortably small and tight room, covered in blood and unsure of where exactly you are. you realise what youve been put into upon the voice of an unknown individual laughing at your frailty. youve joined a death game, currently riding an elevator that rapidly travels up, with your only way to freedom and safe living to escape through each level

➺ series: the hellevator ; stray kids fan fiction series

➺ type: interactive fan fiction ; reader participation

➺ genre: mystery, horror, thriller, detective

➺ chapter: prologue

➺ word count: 1,2k

➺ warnings: swearing/curse words present. graphic descriptions of gore, body parts, mental health, sickness and claustrophobia. if you can not handle the listed components well, please immediately disregard reading this story

➺ notes: an old fanfiction that i actually never finished upon writing the first chapter! i wonder if ill ever continue this series???? 

まぁ、結局人生はずっとそうだったかも。

辛いけど、自分でそういう生きてるのを習わなきゃね。

You can’t remember anything.

It was all black.

Your mind was foggy, empty, cleared,

There was nothing.

Everything around you was dark, plain and filled with nothingness.

You couldn’t remember a single thing, everything in the world was gone from your head except your own name.

Y/N, it was.

But now it was all gone.

Everything… Missing.

But why did you feel like you were placed in this emptiness for a reason? A purpose? Will you find your way out of it?

Will you ever get out of this madness?

Nothing else could be heard around you except the clanking noises of metal against metal, working machinery coming in contact with each other as you felt your whole world shake underneath your lying body. It resulted in loud ringings in your ears, that indescribable sound that seemed to ring on forever and ever without an end.

You had no idea where you were. You had no idea who you were.

It was just your weak body, laying flat on a cold mesh surface with eyes shut, pain flooding through your body and nothing but the accompanying noise to wake you up from your strange and everlasting deep sleep.

In a flash, your eyes shot wide open, blood shooting through your body as your brain starting powering, the network of nerves in your body sending you into shock which resulted in you sitting upright almost immediately.

You had never recognized this place. You have never seen it before in your entire life. You knew this place wasn’t familiar, but something about it screamed “seen before” in your head.

Your head turned to all different directions, looking beside you at the four walls which formed a square shaped room, illuminated by a small faint yellow lamp that swung from side to side above your head. One of the walls in particular had caught your eye, two set of metal clamps jammed shut together which almost looked like doors of some sort.

The place was giving you nightmares once your head turned to the writings on the wall which you had never noticed until you paid attention to it. Written in red ink, the color of blood almost, was the words “death”, “sins” and “demons” in bold lettering, painting the three walls aside from the wall with the door.

It wasn’t to your liking, the room you woke up in began to feel darker and darker once you noticed gruesome things appearing around you. Bloody handprints were painted near the door, red seeping from above the cracks of the little room as it ran down the side, dripping slowly.

In one corner of the space you had, you were almost about to throw up when you saw what looked like cut up intestines and organs stashed into the corner like a pile of rubbish. Those organs alone gave the most disgusting smell you’d ever smelt before after realising they look fresh and still had some red blood on them as well.

Still in your weak state, you picked yourself up, pushing yourself onto your feet with your dirtied hands as you stood up, realising your clothes you wore were ripped, all in black and had some stains in them. They didn’t seemed to be washed at all, much of the stench lingering around your nose.

“Where the fucking hell am I…” You murmured, letting out a loud groan of pain when you felt your left leg jolt in shock, making you grab your balance on the railings of the wall and stumbling over.

“What is this place…” You wondered, looking around you further after you noticed the flash of red light shining into your eyes.

Before you could answer more questions, the room you were in had suddenly dropped, your feet lifting off the ground for a split second when the red flashing light came to a stop. Trying to comprehend the situation and on the verge of eliminating all your stomach contents, you looked above the door and noticed a set of words appearing on this strip of machinery, flashing brightly in your eyes.

“You’ve awoken.” A voice boomed through an unknown source. It made you jump in shock as you shuffled to your feet and look at the words on the strip which had spelt exactly what the unknown voice had said.

“Weak, tired, pathetic peasant.” The voice, almost as deep as a male’s snickered, addressing those words towards you.

“Where the hell am I…” You answered back, snapping at the voice as you tried to seek for the source of the sound.

“That information is not for your knowledge. You should only learn what is important, Kim Y/N.”

“How do you know my name… Who are you!?” You yelled, veins popping from your neck as you yelled at the voice booming at you. You were angry, but terrified at the same time.

This person was speaking to you, messing with your head as you tried to look for them, knowing your name, calling you pathetic and a fool and yet you still had no idea who they were, who you were and where you were.

“That, Kim Y/N is for you to find out for yourself. You’re not put in here for no reason.”

You felt yourself stumble from side to side, getting harder to keep yourself up straight and on your feet when you felt your nausea kick in, leaning over a railing and finally getting rid of your stomach contents from inside onto the floor beside your feet.

It kept on going, the sick feeling inside you eating its way out as all you could do was throw up everything you had onto the floor and be left with it there with the smell of blood, fresh organs and other components mixed in with it.

It was gruesome, stuffed into a compact space with nothing but yourself, a faint yellow light from the ceiling, disassembled body parts and a voice talking to you that was making you insanely crazy.

It wasn’t long before your vomit stopped pouring out of you, brushing away your saliva off the corner of your lips as you breathed heavily, a flood of thoughts rushing through you head by the minute as nothing but the sound of hard metal and the moving room filled up the little space.

“Get me out of here… Get me out…” You could only spurt out in short breaths, on the verge of collapsing to the floor again when the voice boomed and the small box above the door began spelling words in red LED lights.

“You were put in here for a reason, Kim Y/N. There is only one way out of this place but it won’t be easy for a fool like you…”

“Just get me out, dammit!”

“With the result of a price. If you want to get out of this place, then you must obey the rules to get what you want, but it pays a lot of your fortune.”

“All I want is to get out of here, I want to leave this place, stop torturing me…” You let out desperately, dropping onto the floor and collapsing onto your side, leaning your head against the blood coated mesh floor.

“Then your command will be granted if you wish to accept the rules of your escape route. As said, Kim Y/N…”

“It’s not easy.”

You thought about it for a few moments, the time ticking inside your head. To be precise, you had no idea what time it was as well. How long did a second last? Was there time in the first place? It all was gone and all you could think of in that small moment was your escape, an exit, your road to freedom to get out of that hell you were in.

“If it’s going to get me out of this freaking hell, then I’ll do it, I’ll do it if it means I get out of here alive…”

With that sentence said, you heard the voice chuckle, a short laugh blasting into the small room.

“A very wise choice.” They said in approval. “As you have now granted your wish, you shall begin your escape. It all starts with the push of a button, Kim Y/N.”

You were wondering what they were suggesting, but you didn’t care the littlest bit. Nothing mattered to you more then than to escape out of that place and to leave unharmed, to get out of there and wish it never started ever again.

Before you knew it, a new source of light shone in the corner of your eyes from the faint light, a flashing bulb of red illuminated beside the two metal doors.

It was that very moment in time, you finally realized where you were, what you were doing and what your whole purpose was. You recognized that beam of red light somewhere before, you knew where it came from, but you didn’t think you’d find yourself stuck inside one playing a death game.

The new light that had illuminated was the words, “Level 1” in red and a small button beside it. You had never noticed it before, but underneath that button, was yet another 9 set of buttons with their own level running down underneath each other. Above was the Level 1 one button was the word, “HELL” in all bold letters.

A new memory was regained in your mind, everything was slowly being pieced back together again as you picked yourself onto your feet and stumbled to the button step by step. You had no other choice. It was now or never. Live or die. That button was your only escape route if you wanted to get out of there.

You were stuck in an elevator, you knew it, and it was just you, the button and the metal door now. Without hesitation, you took in a deep breath to recollect your thoughts, closing your eyes for a moment before your finger was in contact with the button.

With a faint beep, the button turned a brighter red as you felt the ground beneath you sink, dropping a few heights before stopping at what you believed to be, “Level 1”.

“You signed a death wish, Kim Y/N. Remember what you have been put in here for. Your only challenge here is to simply survive.”

“Welcome, to the Hellevator.”

Without waiting, the metal door in front of you opened wide, greeting you with a room of pitch black and darkness as you took a step out the elevator. It wasn’t long before your journey would start, and you’d find yourself beginning your escape out.

PART TWO YET TO BE WRITTEN. IF YOU WOULD LIKE MORE FROM THIS SERIES, DO COMMENT SO THEN I KNOW TO CONTINUE THIS!

[denimwrites-archive]

My Han Solo

Prompt: Request by @helplesshansen - “Could you do a jared x reader where everyone’s trying to set you two up but youve been secretly dating??“

Fandom: Dear Evan Hansen

Pairing: Jared Kleinman X Reader

Summary: The squad has had enough of your and Jared’s flirting and decide to set you up on a movie date and become frustrated when it doesn’t work. It’s probably because you’re already dating, but you don’t have to tell them that.

Word Count: 2,342

Warnings: Kind of implied sexy times? Very bad Star Wars references? language

A/N: I haven’t seen any of the new Star Wars movies, and I haven’t seen any of the classic ones for god knows how long (I know don’t kill me) so I left descriptions really vague, only making references to character nicknames and stuff. Also for the subjects/books I talk about I just used the stuff I learned in my senior classes cause it’s what I know. Thank you so much for the request, and I hope you like it!

~~~

“Hey there sexy, how was that English quiz? Want to help me study for it during lunch?” Jared asks walking up to you in the hallway. You roll your eyes as you put away your chemistry textbook, while Alana’s eyes widen next to you.

“You mean tell you what the questions are so you don’t fail? I don’t know, I kind of like to see you squirm.” You glance at him with a smirk. Jared lets out a whiny groan.

“(YYYY/NNNN), c’mon. I need to keep up my grades to keep my car.”

“Well then maybe you should actually study rather than look up those stupid pictures you’re always going on about,” Alana cuts in.

You point at her with a thankful nod, “She’s got a point, Kleinman. Memes are getting in the way of your education. It might be best to cut them out until you can find a good balance.”

Jared gasps in mock horror, placing a hand on his chest. “I can’t believe the words I’m hearing coming out of your mouth, (Y/N). I expect that kind of thing from Alana, but you? I thought you actually understood me!” He turns away with a huff, and takes a few steps as if he’s about to storm off. But he turns back around with an endearing look on his face. “You are actually going to help me though right?”

Letting out an exasperated sigh, you nod your head. Jared pumps his fist in the air. “Alright then babe, we can go over it during lunch. I’ll even buy. Mickey D’s okay? It better be, cause I’m broke. See you then!” And then Jared’s gone, disappearing down the hall.

Shaking your head, you turn back to your locker and grab your math textbook before closing the door and making your way down the hallway. “I don’t know how you put up with him,” Alana says, falling into step next to you.

“He’s Jared, we kind of have to put up with him.” Alana gives a small nod and you chuckle. Soon enough lunch rolls around and as you make your way to your friends’ table in the cafeteria you see them huddled together talking about something. But as you get closer, they seem to break up.

You raise a brow at them as you set down your stuff. Jared comes up behind you and sits next to you, McDonald’s in hand, “What were you nerds talking about?”

“I was just about to ask them the same thing,” you say looking at them suspiciously. Evan’s cheeks turn red, and he’s looking anywhere but at you two, while everyone else just sits there with ‘innocent’ looks on their faces. Turning to Evan you ask him, “Anything you want to say Ev?”

He just shakes his head at you, before concentrating on the lunch plate in front of him. Squinting at them all one more time, you then turn to Jared and start to talk about the English quiz that he didn’t attempt to study for. He gives you your McD’s order and you dig into some fries while going on about the parallels in The Poisonwood Bible.

As you explain, you keep snacking on fries, and eating the other food Jared brought. When your fries run out, you start to steal some from Jared’s section. Connor tries to steal one when Jared isn’t paying attention, but he immediately pulls them closer to himself. “Excuse me, Murphy, I know you weren’t just trying to take my fries. Right?”

“What the hell, Kleinman? (Y/N) can take them, but I can’t? What kind of friend are you?” Connor responds, exasperated.

“The broke kind? I’m sharing cause they’re helping me with English. If they weren’t doing that I wouldn’t be sharing my food with them?” Jared says, as if it was obvious.

“Hey! You’d totally share with me if I wasn’t helping you with English cause I’m helping you in history too.”

“That is true. Actually, that reminds me, can you help me study for my next test? I kind of fell asleep for most of the notes.”

Letting out a sigh, you reply, “Yeah, sure. When is it?” When you see Jared’s sheepish smile you let out a groan, “It’s tomorrow, isn’t it?” He gives a nod and you really want to slap him. “Goddamn it, fine. I’ll study with you tonight, but you’re buying snacks and you can’t be stingy.”

“Um… Did you not just hear me defend myself to Murphy? I’m broke?” Jared asks, gesturing to the McDonalds you two were eating.

“If you really couldn’t afford it you’d still be eating the school’s lunch,” Alana points out. You give him a look and he shakes his head.

“I will never sink to that level again. My palette has since grown past the muck that is served as food here,” Jared says, lifting his nose in mock distaste.

Everyone rolls their eyes and you go back to your explanation for English, while the rest of the group quietly watches you and Jared interact. They were all tired of your teasing and flirty demeanors towards each other, and were ready to get you two to confess your feelings, but were unsure how to do it yet.

When lunch ends you all go to your respective classes and soon enough the day is over. Heading to Jared’s car so you can help him study for his history, you see Evan waiting for Jared to come and unlock it. Greeting him, you both wait in comfortable silence, until Evan clears his throat.

“S-so, um… We... I mean, Connor, A-alana, Zoe-e, and I-I were thinking of h-h-h-aving a movie night and um… I was wond-dering if you and Jared wanted to come? Or if we could-d do it at Jared’s house?” He asks, looking at his shoes.

“Yeah, Evan, that would be cool. You want me to ask him about having it at his place?” you ask. Evan nods and you nod back, “Yeah, I can do that. When do you want to do it?”

“M-maybe, Friday?” Evan says, questioningly. He’s fiddling with the end of his shirt and you gently place a hand on his arm as a placating gesture. He looks up at you and gives a small smile. Returning it, the moment is interrupted by Jared making an entrance.

“Ready to ride, bitches?” He walks around to the driver’s side and gets in, throwing his stuff in the back, and starting the car. Evan sits in the passenger seat, and you take the backseat, forced to move Jared’s shit out of the way. The good news about Jared taking his time is that most of the traffic is gone by the time he pulls out of the school’s parking lot. Dropping Evan off first, you wave goodbye then head to Jared’s.

When you get into Jared’s room, he immediately pulls you into a kiss and you can’t help the smirk that makes its way onto your face. Pulling away, Jared lets out a whine at the loss, trying to follow your lips. “I thought I was here to help you study. If we’re just going to make out I kind of want to get some stuff done first.”

He lets out a small groan. “But I’m studying in the form of practicing for my most important subject: being a boyfriend. C’mon, you know I can’t fail that.”

“You also can’t fail history, or you’ll be held back. And I don’t think you want to repeat senior year, do you?” He lets out a sigh before begrudgingly going to his backpack and pulling out his history textbook. “Good boy. If we have time, you can study for both subjects?” At that, his head perks and you can’t help the giggle that escapes.

“Oh, really? This wouldn’t be one of those stripping games would it? I get a question right and you take off some clothing, I get it wrong, I take it off?” He asks, with an eyebrow wiggle.

You chuckle and shake your head. “Get your mind out of the gutter, Jared. I was suggesting that you study first and if you get done early, we could do something else.”

“Well I like the sound of something else, so let’s get started, shall we?”

Two hours later and Jared was pretty well prepared for the test tomorrow. You wanted to help him study more, but he was becoming a little impatient and whiny, so you decided to take a break and watch some TV and cuddle. Cuddling turned into a little make out session and let’s just say that you didn’t get much more done that night.

However, you did get to ask Jared about the movie night at his place that Friday, and he agreed to it, as long as he got to pick the movie. The next day, you relayed the news to Evan and he seemed pretty excited. When he brought it up during lunch, everyone agreed on 7 o’clock for the meet time and who was bringing what snacks.

~

Friday came sooner than you expected, and you headed to Jared’s house a little early to help him set up, along with just wanting to spend some time with your boyfriend before the movie. When seven rolled around, you were sitting on the couch with Jared, ready for the others to arrive so you could start. After half an hour with nobody showing up, you start sending some texts that no one responds to.

Letting out an exasperated sigh, you and Jared decide to just watch the movie on your own. Star Wars was always a good marathoning movie series, and you got through the first three before passing out on Jared’s shoulder. The next morning your neck is stiff, but you feel safe in his arms. Snuggling in closer you ignore your phone as it goes off.

When you finally wake up a few hours later, your eyes meet Jared’s and you can’t help the smile that makes its way onto your face. Giving him a lazy kiss, you sit up and finally check your phone. You see you have a few missed calls from Alana and Zoe, and about 100 texts from the group chat. As you scroll through, and listen to the voicemails, you can’t help but roll your eyes at their ‘plan’ to get you and Jared together. Like leaving you two alone would just solve the problem.

Jared seems to have had a similar experience when he looks up from his phone. Staring at each other for a few seconds you both burst out laughing. It was just so much fun to tease them. When your chuckles and giggles grew quiet, you both planned what you would say.

You ended up staying over Jared’s for most of the weekend, and finished your Star Wars marathon with a fake lightsaber duel, reenacting some of the more iconic scenes and quoting as you went. Some of the duels end in tickle fights, which you are proud to say you were the victor. But Jared always retaliated with a flurry of kisses and you ultimately decide that you were evenly matched. Needless to say, it was a really great weekend.

That Monday at school, while putting books back in your locker and talking to Alana, Jared comes up behind you and gives your side a poke, making you jump. Giving him a look, you turn back to Alana, who seems to be assessing your interactions with a critical eye.

“Sorry about Friday, something came up. How’d the movie night go?” she asks with an ‘I’m totally not interested but give me all the details anyway’ air about her. You smirk a little and lean in like you’re about to tell a juicy secret, when Jared lifts you and carries you away down the hall.

“Put me down, flyboy!”

“Sorry Princess, can’t do that. Got a galaxy to save,” he replies. You can’t help but laugh at his antics, while also trying to get out of his grip. “C’mon Leia, you’ll be fine with Chewie. Speaking of…” he trails off, dropping you at your first period where Evan just stares at the two of you from his desk. “Take care of them, furball, or it’s your head!” And with that Jared disappears and you’re left shaking your head at him.

“What was that-that about?” Evan asks, a very confused look on his face.

“Jared’s just a little swept up in Star Wars fever. Thinks he’s Han Solo or something.”

“Well, he-he called y-you ‘Leia’. D-does that mean…” Evan trailed off, really hoping that you’d say that something happened during the marathon and that you two were finally together.

“He’s just wrapped up in a fantasy. I mean, yes, I am a totally badass resistance leader,” you say, “but I don’t think I could put up with Han if I were in her shoes.” Evan seemed to let out a breath at your answer and left it at that. Class started and soon enough it was lunch.

As you got food, Jared came up and wrapped an arm around your shoulder. You smirked at him and told him about Evan’s reaction which got a chuckle out of him. When you got to the table, everyone was looking at you expectantly, but when you didn’t say anything they seemed to deflate a little.

Eating and making light conversation, lunch was over all too soon, and you grabbed your stuff ready to head to class. Jared stopped you outside the cafeteria though, and made sure that no one was looking as he gave you a small peck on the mouth. “I love you,” you said with a growing smile.

“I know,” he replied with an eyebrow wiggle, and then he was gone down the hall like nothing happened. You made your way to your next class and just shook your head at his actions. Oh Jared Solo, you will be the death of me, you can’t help but think to yourself.

[kujo1597]

Actually, That Was a Good Thing

A fire left Peridot with nothing and nowhere to go, she contacted former classmates and one of them told Lapis about the situation. Lapis let Peridot move in with her and they developed a friendship.

One year later Peridot met a beautiful woman named Amethyst at the club and they kept in touch over the phone.

Part three of the “Maybe That Wasn’t Such a Bad Thing” series. Read it on Archive of Our Own! (Or don’t, I basically summed up the first two parts at the beginning of this post.)

Chapter 1

Ams: Oh my god Peri, the Lil Butler reboot looks awful!

Ams: Like, it barely has anything to do with the old show yknow.

Peridot: I KNOW THE RECENT CPH MOVIE WAS THE SAME WAT HOW           HARD IS IT TO BE FAITHFUL TO THE SOURCE MATERIAL

Ams: I never watched CPH but I heard the movie was bad.

Peridot: BAD IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT

Ams: The Jem movie was god-awful! And not even in a funny way.

Peridot: I NEVER WATCHED JEM

Ams: Ha! Not surprised, even I’m a bit young to grow up with Jem.

Peridot: WAIT HOW OLD ARE YOU I ASSUMED WE WERE THE SAME AGE

Ams: 30 Per

Peridot: OH IM 25

Ams: Jeeze, you have to wait before your childhood shows get bad reboots. ;p

Peridot: ITS ALREADY HAPPENED YOUVE SEEN THE CN SCHEDULE

Peridot chuckled as her and Amethyst’s conversation about terrible TV shows and movies continued. She didn’t expect that cool and beautiful woman she met at the club to be such a TV geek.

Peridot faintly heard her phone ringing and lifted her head from her drool-covered pillow.

She groaned and squinted at her clock but the combination of tiredness and not wearing glasses made the numbers very hard to make out.

11:27PM?

Who calls at that time?

Peridot answered her phone and heard a somewhat familiar voice on the other end.

"Hey Peri, what's up?"

It was Amethyst.

"Sleeping," Peridot replied.

Or, at least she thought she did. It's hard for Peridot to form words right after waking up.

"Ah shoot, I woke you up, didn't I?" Amethyst sounded a bit guilty. "I just wanted to talk but I can call some other time."

"I'm already awake," Peridot briefly wondered if it came out snippish.

"Nah, it can wait, I just saw the latest teaser for the final season of Ninja Keith and had to talk about it," Amethyst was clearly suppressing her excitement. "Steven's asleep so I called you."

"We can talk about it now, just give me a minute so I can watch it."

The two chatted about the show until two in the morning.

Over the next month Peridot and Amethyst called and texted each other on several occasions.

Peridot never really had a friend before.

It was nice.

Peridot yawned while reading her menu, she had stayed up quite late texting Amethyst. This was becoming a regular occurrence which is unfortunate for early-riser Peridot.

"Hey," Lapis addressed the sleepy young-adult across the table. "You can sleep later, we have errands to run."

Peridot dismissively waved her hand. "I know, I just had another late..." she trailed of when she noticed a waitress with long lavender hair tied up in a high ponytail walking by.

"Cute girl?" Lapis asked, clearly amused.

"Oh no, was it obvious that I looked?" Peridot asked with a blush.

"Yeah, you can't exactly subtly turn your head," Lapis put her hand on the top of her head to replicate Peridot's sky-high hairdo.

"Oh, heh, right. Um, you remember how I met a girl when you dragged me to the club?"

"You mean when I invited you because you need to get out more?"

"Whatever."

“Yeah, I remember you mentioning a girl. Was that her?”

Peridot nodded. “She said she’s a waitress but not where she works. I didn’t expect to see her here.”

“You gonna go talk to her?”

“I... don’t know,” Peridot fiddled with her fingers.

“You’ve been chatting for a while, you should ask her to meet you after work.”

“Talking on the phone is different,” Peridot’s voice got quiet. “She can’t see me over the phone.”

The change of tone took Lapis by surprise. “She saw you at the club.”

“In strange dim lighting. She had no way of seeing just how bad my burns look.”

“That’s never been a problem before.”

“Yeah, well,” Peridot gestured at Amethyst. “I’ve never met somebody so beautiful and perfect before.”

Lapis took a good look at Amethyst. “Peridot, she has a cleft lip and her left eye’s really squinty. She’s not exactly perfect.”

"Those are such tiny flaws. This," Peridot waved her hand around her face, "isn't a tiny flaw and a significant amount of my body's like this. You know, you've seen it."

Lapis shrugged. "It's not as bad as you think. You only think it's really bad because you know what you used to look like. Amethyst likes you. She gave you her number and you suck at starting conversations so she must keep coming back to you."

"Yeah, she always starts the conversations."

"Knew it. I think you should go up to her. You two will meet eventually, wouldn't it be best to do it soon? If she is repulsed by a little thing like your burns then she's not worth your time anyway."

Peridot put her finger to her chin in thought. "You may have a point..."

As Peridot weighed her options she faintly heard Lapis talking to someone.

"Peri?!"

Amethyst's excited voice snapped her out of it.

"Ah! Amethyst!" Peridot's voice cracked  in shock.

"Good to see you again," Amethyst said with a grin. "Wish I could chat but I'm pretty busy."

"What time do you get off work?" Peridot blurted out far louder than she intended. She could feel the blush spreading across her face and ears.

Amethyst had an amused look on her face. "I get off at four-thirty."

"I-i-if you want we could hang out for a bit then eat supper together."

"Yeah, sounds great," Amethyst said with a smile then rushed off to do her job.

"See you then," Peridot said quietly even though Amethyst was long gone.

She turned around and met Lapis' smug gaze. "I don't know if I should love you or hate you right about now."

"You should love me, I just got you a date."

Peridot arrived right as the clock struck 4:30PM she pulled out her phone as she stood outside the restaurant door.

It was only a fifteen minute wait before Amethyst came sprinting out of the door.

"Woah," Amethyst nearly ran into Peridot. "Oh hey Peri. Were you here long?"

"Nah, it wasn't that long."

"Cool, cool. Are you up for some walking? I'd like to swing by my place to change."

"Yeah, I'm fine with that. We can also talk and choose where to eat."

The pair started off for Amethyst's house.

"So Peri, what's the deal with you and Lapis?"

"Deal?" Peridot asked, obviously puzzled.

"Yeah, I know you and Lapis are roommates but are you dating or anything?"

Peridot nearly burst out laughing. "Oh no, we're good friends but that's it. Lapis graciously opened her home to me when I had nothing and nowhere to go," Peridot thought a second. "Well, I guess I could have moved back to Alberta and in with my dad. But to be frank, I really don't want to get on another plane any time soon."

Peridot nervously laughed.

“Chill homegirl,” Amethyst put her hand on Peridot’s shoulder. “We’re just hangin’ out. No different from our texts and phone calls ‘cept we’re face-to-face.” Amethyst didn’t get much of a response but she sort of expected that. “So what do you want to do before dinner?”

“We both enjoy video games so I thought we could go to Funland Arcade for a bit.”

“Sounds good and Fishstew Pizza’s close by so we could eat there.”

“Sure, that works for me.”

They continued to walk and talk and eventually they reached a large beachfront property.

Amethyst opened the door and led Peridot to a couch in the livingroom.

“I’ll be back in a sec, make yourself comfortable,” she said before heading upstairs.

Several minutes later Peridot heard footsteps coming from the stairs. She expected to see Amethyst but instead saw a short chubby boy with curly black hair.

“Oh my gosh,” the boy exclaimed looking at Peridot all starry-eyed. “Are you Peridot?”

The boy’s staring made Peridot a bit uncomfortable. “Yeah.”

He chuckled and jauntily walked up to Peridot. “Amethyst told me all about you! I’m Steven by the way.”

Hearing that Amethyst talks about her made Peridot quite happy and much more relaxed. A smile reached her lips.

But there was a kid to entertain. “So you’re Steven, Amethyst told me about you.”

Steven beamed at Peridot. “She did?”

Peridot giggled. “Yes, she did. This visit is a bit impromptu, if I knew I was coming ahead of time I would have brought some of my spare G.U.Y.S. with me.”

“You have G.U.Y.S.”

“Yes, I collect lots of toys and figurines. I have G.A.L.S. too.”

Steven squealed. “That’s so cool!”

“I dunno, I think it’s pretty nerdy.”

Amethyst’s voice took Steven and Peridot by surprise. “But I like nerdy so it’s cool.”

“I don’t know if I’ll ever understand your vocabulary,” Peridot said.

Amethyst laughed. “You’re an egghead, you’ll figure it out eventually.” She then held out her hand. “C’mon, let’s go.”

After saying their goodbyes to Steven, Peridot and Amethyst walked to the arcade.

They started off by playing some fighting games against each other.

“Wait, you use grapplers too?” the surprise was clear in Amethyst’s voice.

“Yeah, they’re a lot of fun and their designs are usually really cool,” Peridot replied amused.

“Dude, I pegged you as the type to use trap characters and zoners.”

Peridot shrugged. “I dabble with those. It depends on the game. But I always go straight for the grappler.”

They completely lost track of time playing the fighting games. Before they knew it well over two hours had passed.

The only reason they stopped was because Peridot’s fingers and right wrist were stiff and sore.

“You okay?” Amethyst asked Peridot who had started to bend and flex her sore joints.

“I’m fine, that just happens sometimes,” Peridot rolled her sleeve up a bit to show her wrist to Amethyst. “Skin grafts are a bit stiffer and more taut than normal skin so I sometimes need to do stretches.”

“Oh, I had no idea.”

“I didn’t expect you to, I only know that because a third of my body’s covered in them.”

The number really surprised Amethyst.

And Peridot could tell. “It’s mostly on my back so it’s not that bad. It’s the ones on my wrist and upper arm that are the problem.” Regret started to bubble up in Peridot’s gut when she saw Amethyst’s blank face. “Sorry, I made you uncomfortable.”

“Oh, no, nononono, Peri, I just- wow, I can’t wrap my head around it. That’s actually pretty amazing. You’re really tough.”

Peridot laughed. “I don’t know about that.”

“It’s true! Not everybody can walk away from a thing like that. You’re pretty impressive.” 

Peridot burst into a giggle fit.

"I'm gonna keep saying it until you believe me," Amethyst wrapped her arm around Peridot's shoulders then poked her on the nose.

"I believe you, I'm just so relieved. I was really worried about how you'd react to seeing me in decent lighting. You're so gorgeous!"

Amethyst's face was completely covered a blush. "Whaaaaat?"

"It's true!" Peridot was now blushing too. "You're the most beautiful woman I ever laid eyes on."

Amethyst buried her face in her hands.

Peridot laughed slightly villainously. "I will keep calling you gorgeous until you believe me."

"You think you're sooooo smooth, huh?"

"Stars no! I'm the biggest nerdy mess ever! Luckily, you're kind of a nerd yourself."

"Ha, that's true," Amethyst took Peridot by the hand. "So, how about this 'gorgeous woman' takes a certain 'nerdy mess' to the pizza parlor?"

"Wasn't that the plan?"

"Yeah, but it's kinda late now."

"We have to eat anyway," Peridot said with a shrug. "I have a terrible habit of getting too into coding to eat so I'm kind of used to not eating supper until late at night."

"Oh dude, you have no idea how many times I had a pizza for a midnight snack."

"A whole pizza?" Peridot raised an eyebrow.

"Well, it was just a medium pizza, nothing too big."

"I don't think I'll be able to eat an entire pizza."

"We can order a large pizza, you eat what you can and I'll finish it off. Sound good?"

Peridot nodded.

While they were talking they arrived at Fishstew Pizza. They walked in and sat at a table.

"So what kind of pizza are you thinking of?" Amethyst asked. "I'm cool with whatever."

Peridot hummed in thought. "I'm in the mood for something spicy."

"You have good taste."

"Oh, you like spicy food too?"

Amethyst grinned and nodded. "Spicy's the best!"

"Then spicy it is."

Peridot ordered the pizza which her and Amethyst greatly enjoyed as they made casual conversation.

After the meal they hugged and parted ways.

Peridot arrived at her home and called out to Lapis.

"I'm gonna lie in bed, my leg's killing me!"

She walked into her room and smiled when she saw her little brown havanese curled up on her bed sound asleep.

Peridot sat on the edge of her bed, fondly gave her dog a pat then removed her prosthesis and sprawled out checking her social media on her phone.

Soon after Max woke up and took his place on Peridot's tummy.

Lapis came into Peridot's room some time later.

"So, how was your date?"

"I'm not entirely sure that was a date," Peridot said. "I mean, we held hands soooo... maybe?"

"Woah, slow down there, you're already holding hands?" Lapis' voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"Shut up," Peridot was giggling. "We also hugged and neither of us was sad."

"So what'd you guys do other than hold hands and hug?"

"We spent a few hours playing fighting games at the arcade, we then shared a pizza. AndIwasfeelingreallyselfconciousafterItoldAmethysthowmanyburnsIhaveandthenIblurtedoutthatIthinkshe'sgorgeousbecauseshecalledmeamazing."

"What was that last part?"

Peridot's face was bright red. "I told Amethyst just how much of my body's covered in burns and she said I was amazing. I felt really relieved and then I blurted out that I think she's the most beautiful woman I ever met."

"How'd she react?"

"She blushed and tried to brush off the compliment. It really surprised me. It was as if she has never been told that before."

"That's very possible. Amethyst's kind of pretty but in a really specific way. You're into short stocky girls and piercings. It's actually kind of crazy how up your alley she is. And she probably thinks you're pretty attractive so getting a compliment from you must've been exciting for her."

"I guess? She did call me cute at the club."

"That's good and she thinks you're amazing, you two are also always chatting. I think you have a shot with Amethyst."

"Yeah, I think so too," new confidence began to fill Peridot's body. But there was a problem. "I've never dated before, can you give me advice?"

"I'm really not the best person to ask, I suck at dating. You should just go with your gut, it's working so far."

"Go with my gut," Peridot muttered. "Thanks Lapis."

"Yeah, don't mention it," Lapis waved it off. "G'night."

"Night."

After getting ready for bed Peridot sent a message to Amethyst.

Peridot: I HAD A GREAT TIME TODAY THANK YOU FOR HANGING OUT WITH ME

[whxtiswriting]

A real Angel ||

Sam and dean are hunters and problem solvers. They go where they are needed and they dont stay very long after a case is solved. 

They were packing up a hotel room when a woman frantically tapped on the door. 

She was frail, thin, and her plaid over coat dress was falling off of her shoulders. 

"Whats she want?" Dean asked, not too interested. "I paid for the room." 

Sam rolled his eyes and opened the door. "How may I help you, maam?" 

"You boys solve problems? Dont you?" She asked. 

"We dont have time to find a cat or open jars-" dean snarked. 

"I'm not really sure how we can help you." Sam said nicer than dean would have. 

"Its my daughter-" she said frantically. "Shes joined a cult-!" 

"We don't normally do cult things." Dean replied. 

Sam frowned and ushered her inside. "Why dont you have a seat and we can see if this is the kind of thing we can help with." 

Dean rolled his eyes as he was attempting to close his suitcase. "It wont be-" 

The lady walked in, clutching her handbag and dug around inside of it. "They say they have an angel-" 

Sam frowned, "would you like some tea?" 

"I would like for you to bring ny daughter home!" The lady snapped, pulling out a thin, long, red envelope. "She sent me proof!" 

The lady shoved the envelope into sams hands. 

Sam opened it and his heart kind of stopped for a moment. 

There was a long black feather inside. The tip where it came from the wing was coated with dry blood, the edges shimmered with light, and it brought an energy to Sam that he had never felt before. 

Dean looked over and frowned. "A feather? That could come from anything." 

"But it didn't! It came from my daughter! You need to save her from this stupid cult!" The lady snapped, "I can pay you! I have money!" 

Sam handed the envelope to dean, and looked back to the lady. "What do they call themselves, this cult?"

"The children of heavenly light." The woman scoweled, pulling out a pamphlet. "My daughter was a college student, she was successful- they targetted her and many others- I havent seen or heard from her in many months. Please- please help her." 

"We will do what we can and be in touch." Sam agreed, handing her his card. 

After she left, Sam turned to dean. "Did you have to be so- rude? This could be easy money." 

"Or it could all be a stupid ruse." Dean said, still stroking the feather. 

"The cult seems to be located in the mountains up north; I'm gonna call Bobby and see if hes ever heard of them and see if theres anything unnatural to this claim-" Sam replied, stepping outside. 

Dean sighed, tucking the feather back into the envelope and grabbing the bags. Either way, they werent staying in this motel anymore.

After returning the keys, dean joined Sam at the car. 

Sam was using his laptop and was leaning on the hood of the car. 

"Get your ass off babys hood!" Dean snapped, throwing their bags in the back.

Sam rolled his eyes and got into the car. "So this cult is located in the Washington mountains. They moved up there to be closer to the heavens. They are located near an Observatory for mount Olympus." 

Dean got in and started the car. "So theyve holed themselves up in the snowy freaking mountains to be closer to the heavens? Not very clear on which heavens they care about, are they." He complained. 

"Bobby says that they might very well have an angel- but hes never met one thats kept people hostage." 

"So probably not our bad guy then- if they really have one." Dean agreed, as they started their long drive. "How do we join this cult?" 

"They target school fairs and career days- so we just gotta go to the local college." Sam figured.

They drove almost straight through, and when they got to the town, they looked for a motel to stay in. 

The snow was a lovely sight, in theory, but it reminded dean he needed to find his jacket. 

"I'll check us in." Sam said, getting out of the car in the motel parking lot. 

"I'll find us somewhere to eat and find information on this cult." Dean agreed. 

A while later, they were in a pub, drinking, eating, and doing research. 

They found there were many lost people signs up around the town. It was a place where people disappeared. 

There were a few people in the pub who were drunk and angry about the cult- but they didnt find too much out about it. 

There were many people who said the religious group was a group of nice people who never bothered anyone and only came to town for supplies. 

They weren't getting anywhere, so they returned to the motel and dean laid down for the night. 

Sam stayed up doing a little more research before he also went to sleep.

The next day, they went to tour the local college, peruse for information- and maybe get laid, dean joked. 

They split up- Sam went on a tour and dean looked at all of the places flyers were posted. 

Luckily, dean found a flyer for an open event that week. 

"Its all BS." A cute blonde said, rushing by. 

"What is?" Dean asked, following her. 

"That group- its all a bunch of talk, no show." She laughed, stopping in front of him. "They talk game but ive never seen an angel." 

"I'm only in town for a few days, thought it might be fun to see some really good stage craft." Dean joked. 

"They might help with that. Their residence is super decked out." She agreed. 

"Youve been?" Dean asked. 

"My friend is a member- made me tour it-" she agreed. "But I didnt see what all the fuss was about." 

"Maybe ill check it out then." Dean agreed. 

She laughed again and left. 

Sam came over. "This school is amazing!" 

"Did you find anything?" Dean asked. 

"They have the largest library ive ever seen!" 

"I mean about the case, Sam." Dean chasticed. 

"Oh, right. I learned that theyve had a few students go off and join- and that the leader was a professor here."

"Well, I learned there is a party open to the public this weekend." Dean replied, "so we will be learning if theres an actual angel around here soon." 

Over the next few days, they did research into the families whos kids had joined, the cult leader, and more. 

The night of the party came, and they headed up to the mountain side compound. 

A lot of people came to see what the fuss was about. 

The compound was more like a palace, beautifully decorated in modern art and statues depicting heavenly stories, there was even a chandelier in the entryway. There were twinkle lights everywhere. 

Inside the main room, was a sight no one was prepared for. 

Under a large round light, depicting a halo, was an almost naked college aged man, who was bound in red leather. 

He was kneeling, hands bound behind his back, but most importantly, there were leather straps wrapped around the base of his wings, keeping them extended and him slightly lifted from the ground. 

They were beautiful, even in their tattered state. 

The 'halo' light was the only light in the room, aside from a movie screen that was playing propaganda videos on it. 

The angel was poised, trapped in a circle that was painted on The floor. Its back was scarred- and its head was down. It was almost statuesque.

"That cant be real-" someone said nearby. "Its fake-" 

Dean studied the surroundings a little closer- the trap painted on the floor- the way the wings were pulling on the back of the man- the tools that looked out of the ordinary, the way the leather cut into the angels skin as if it wasnt just leather After all. 

"I-i dont think this is fake." Sam said quietly, as they moved to get refreshments. 

"I agree." Dean said stiffly. 

A young women came into the room carrying a bucket and a rag. She knelt by the angel and began the show. 

He jerked forward when the water from the bucket touched his skin. 

"Its okay." She said sweetly. "We bless you for your pain so that we may live." 

The angel stiffened, but didnt respond. He was biting his tongue. 

The woman washed him in the special water, preparing his body for the pain that would come. 

Some were begining to think this was performance art. They didnt see it clearly. 

The woman stopped, gathered her things, and walked away when the leader, the professor came into the room. 

"Good evening my friends! Please, take a seat, have a drink, and enjoy the show." 

"I have a feeling I will not be enjoying this." Dean said gruffly. 

"Just sit down and dont make a scene." Sam instructed.

The professor began his speech. "Tonight is a celebration of life: our heavenly gift is going to provide life for our ceremonies, and he will bring prosperity and love to those who reside and who are visiting for this event." 

"First, though, he must absorb our sins." The man announced, taking a whip from where it lay on an almost surgical tray. 

"I will start, and then my children will follow. And any guests here tonight with something to attone for may join us." He explained, before stepping up to the circle.

The angel tensed, but didnt make a sound. There were innocents in the room- he just had to focus on holding himself together.

The man threw the whip back, and then unleashed it on the angels back. Thr whip was designed to cause physical damage to ethereal beings- but not kill them. 

The angel jerked forward- against the restraints- but he kept from crying out. 

The man hit him twice more, before passing the whip to a young lady. 

There were twenty six members of the cult, who each swung the whip for at least one repentance. 

By the time the cult members were finished, the angel was crying. There was blood that seemed to shine and almost glow, running down its back. 

A few curious people from the crowd got up to try. 

"I think we have to do it to join-" Sam said. 

"Figure out a different way." Dean snapped. 

The professor grabbed a silver chalice, and a knife, using the chalice to catch some of the blood that trickled down before cutting the angels wrist, and catching the blood from there. 

"For our sins, we beg forgiveness. For our sins, we drink to cleanse ourselves." 

He took a drink, before passing the chalice to his members. 

"Those who wish to join us innour quest for purity and immortality, may drink from the chalice and join our ranks." 

Dean reluctantly got to his feet. 

"Should we both join?" Sam asked quickly. 

"I'll join, you don't have to." Dean said, wondering if there would be horrible side effects to joining. 

"I'm not just going to leave you here with these people-" Sam argued. 

"We need someone on the outside too-" dean reasoned. "Besides, my souls already damned." 

"Dean, this isnt funny." Sam argued. "You need me here." 

Dean sighed, "fine." 

They got in line. 

"I told bobby and Jo where we were, case something goes wrong." 

It was then deans turn to drink. The liquid was silvery red, and it felt like a warm honey as it filled his body. He stsrted to tingle- injuries hed had began to heal, he felt light, giddy almost. 

He almost couldnt remember why they were here.

4:53 PM

Sam drank and closed his eyes. The warmth from the liquid warmed his soul, from his fingers to his toes. It was easy to see why this was addicting. 

Afterwards, the professor decided on one of the new people being allowed to clean the angel up. 

Dean was handed the container of purified water, and a cloth. 

Dean knelt down and dunked the cloth in the water. Watching it bubble for a moment. Everything felt amazing. 

The angel was panting- it was clear he was in pain- but he attempted to move away from the rag. 

The professor walked over and pinned him to the floor with his boot. "You will be cleansed of our sins and we will once again be free." 

The angel pulled away as hard as he could- but he was trapped. 

Deans hands were gentle when he placed the soaked rag over the boys back. The bloodied water swirled as he cleansed him- the water stitching his wounds back together. They left only scars in their wake. 

The emotional scars were worse. 

He didnt even beg for his release anymore- he didnt even pray to his god- his father, his creator, anymore. They made him impure and purified him again- but he was still dirty, unclean. Unworthy. 

He was trying to make himself so dirty that he wasn't heavenly anymore- then theyd have no use for him. 

When dean was finished, he wrung the cloth out and moved to his face. He washed it of the sweat and tears. He looked him in his eyes. He remembered why he was there. 

"Thats enough." The professor said, helping dean to his feet. "Charlie will show you to your rooms, charlie!" 

A young lady hurried over- she looked just like the photo her mother gave them. "Yes my professor?" 

He kissed her, "show my lovely new students to their quarters." 

"What about the angel?" Dean asked.

"I will move him to a safe location." The professor answered. "You must go and sleep." 

Dean nodded softly. "Yes professor." 

Sam and dean were led to a room theyd share with another new comer and an existing student of the cult. 

The professor went back to the angel and began the process of untying him. He began with the wings- which were sore and aching. They dropped like lead when they were undied, semiwrapping around the boy. Then, he unbound his hands, kissing the skin beneath the bindings, and finally the ankles. He then wrapped the used leather around the boys neck like a leash and pulled him to the edge of the circle. "You try anything- and you will regret it." He hissed, before breaking the circle and pulling the angel away from the show room. 

He was compliant until they got near the mans bedroom- he jerked against the bindings and hit him with his wings-"let me go-!" 

The man overpowered the angel and held a blade to his throat-"I will end you, castiel!" 

The boy bucked, trying to get the blade to cut him- "You wouldnt-" 

The professor hit him, his ring cut castiels face. "You will obey me, I own you." 

Cas was dizzy and weak- being torn apart by ancient weaponry and put together by holy water was not a spa treatment. 

The man pulled him into his room and threw him to the dog bed next to the master bed. The room was huge and luxurious but castiel loathed it. 

There was a large trap painted under the rug- from the bathroom to the tv- not close enough to anything that would help him escape. 

Castiel dropped to the bed on the floor and curled up, closing his eyes. 

"Not so fast- I need to make sure they caught every wound." The professor instructed, pulling the angel to his feet. 

Castiels resistance flared inside him. "You won't find any wounds, let me rest." 

The man just laughed and pulled down the angels boxers. He ran a hand over every part of him- shoving them into his mouth, inspecting him for sores, he said. He traced over every part of him- and found nothing. 

It was all a cover- dirtying the angel for self gratification. 

He shoved his fingers inside of the angel- who cried out and turned his head to the heavens- and began jacking off. 

"St-stop this-" castiel begged, "stop-" 

"I gotta make sure you are safe." The man insisted- thinking about what a pleasure it would be to take the angel right there. 

It was over quickly, but not quick enough for cas. He slumped into the bed on the floor and cried- the professor collected his tears for his healing salves. 

He called in one of his many students and told them to ready a clean bath for the angel, but didnt elaborate as to why. 

They filled the bath with sacred water and then helped cas into the water. The angel barely moved. 

He was praying again- this time for death. He wanted this to be over. He didnt want saved or cleaned- he wanted death to come and take him away. 

The student made sure every part of him was submerged, at least once, by forcing castiel under the water. 

Castiel hoped hed die, but the boy let him back up- and he drizzled water onto the angels wings. They were missing feathers- and the water sometimes helped fix them.

When it was over, castiel was dried off by gentle, worshipping hands, dressed in pajamas, and then brought back to the dog bed. 

Castiel laid down, not wanting to be near the master, and closed his eyes. He briefly wondered if his father was allowing this. 

The man laid down on his bed and began reading a book. "You could always join me up here." The man offered. 

Castiel clenched his eyes shut and tried to will his human vessel to sleep.  It didnt work- hed been too thoroughly purified, but the professor fell asleep. 

Cas got up and began looking for flaws in the trap- for anyway out.

 There wasnt a way out. He went to the bookshelf and flicked through the books, before pulling out one of the professors books on ancient religions and going back to his bed. He sat down, flipping through the book, reading quietly. 

 There were notes in the margins about every subject- the professor had once been a very good scholar. He just fell off the path somewhere and became obsessed with angels. Castiel put the book away a while later and must have drifted off. When he woke up, the pattern on the floor had been reworked, stretched out in the hallway- making it so the angel could appear to move freely through the house. “Morning Cas.” The professor smiled. “I have made some accommodations for you to mingle with our new people.” “Why?” castiel asked, defensively. “I want them to see how amazing you are.” Professor said, kissing castiels face. “Professor-” Castiel argued. “You’ll do fine.” The man replied, setting some clothes out for castiel to wear. He forced castiel out of his clothes, and rather roughly pulled new clothes on him. “Professor-” He protested. “I-its false worship.” Cas argued, “You know this! You read the books, you were well studied-” The man pushed him onto the bed, biting his neck. “You are mine- I worship that I do, Not that you are from the heavens.” Castiel closed his eyes. Clenching them shut. The professor let him up, and laughed. “You will always be mine.” Then, he left. Castiel chewed his lip, getting up. He was confused and conflicted. He wiped his neck- and his face, before seeing just how far he could walk.

[themoneybuff-blog]

Worried About the Stock Market and Your Retirement Savings? Read This.

In the last few days, a number of readers have written to The Simple Dollar regarding the recent downturn in the stock market. Here are a few of those notes, starting with one from Dave: 45 years old, aiming to retire at 62. I have been in the aggressive portfolio in my 401(k) since signing on back in 1998 and contributed regularly. I didnt pay attention to it during 2000-2002 or in 2008 but now I pay attention and these recent drops are killing me. How bad am I hurt if I move things to a less crazy investment? and one from Charlie: 61, was thinking about retiring next year but stock market is ripping my retirement apart! Help! and one from Ally: Im started to freak out about the stock market as I see my investments in my Vanguard index funds plummeting every day. I know I need to wait it out as Im only 34 but its really starting to panic me. Intellectually, I know to stay put and watch the gains as the market recovers but I worry that I may actually need some of that money before it goes back up and start operating from a perspective of scarcity vs. abundance (even though I have lived by the rule of thumb that if I think Ill need it in 10 years, put in high interest savings instead). All of a sudden I start imagining scenarios where Ill need it sooner and put my finances in jeopardy.Please help talk me off the ledge! Were all seeing the same thing. Depending on what numbers youre using, over the last two and a half months, the stock market has lost between 10% and 15% of its value. That means, of course, that if you have a large portion of your retirement savings invested in the stock market, youve seen a similar drop in the value of your retirement savings. Part of what has made this dip so stark is that it comes at the end of a very long positive run for the stock market, dating back almost ten years. Ten years of almost constant growth in the value of the stock market is a historical run, one likely only possible because of the enormous dip of 2008 which gave the stock market a very low point to start from. As you can see, those factors have caused a lot of people to panic and consider changing their retirement investments. My advice? Well in honest truth, I have not looked at my old 403(b) or my Roth IRA in the last three months. At all. Even if I did look, I wouldnt change a thing. Heres how my thinking works on all of this. We Look at the Short Term When We Should Look at the Long Term and Thats a Mistake The stock market is an awful short-term investment. It can lose a significant percentage of its value in just a few days, often seemingly without warning to the average investor. Even over the course of a year or two, you might have individual years where it goes up 20% and other years where it goes down 40%. Its really hard to plan around that. If you are going to need your money back in less than 10 years, you probably shouldnt be invested in the stock market. The thing is, most of us are more than 10 years from retirement. Were invested in stocks as a long term investment. Even people in retirement should have some portion of their retirement savings in the stock market because theres a good chance that theyre going to be around more than 10 more years and they should be investing for that timeframe. At that point a timeline of more than a decade you have to start looking at long-term returns and averages rather than individual years, because individual years arent really all that meaningful when youre looking at time periods beyond 10 years. I like to think of the stock market as a simple gambling game. Its a model that helps me make sense of it. Imagine that theres a game where there are nine red balls and one black ball that randomly come out of a tumbler, like drawing lottery numbers. If the black ball comes out, you lose 40% of your bet. If any of the nine red balls come out, you win 10% of your bet. However, you have to bet your whole retirement savings. What do you do? Well, for me, it depends on how many times I can bet. If I can only bet once, then its probably not a worthwhile risk. I could lose 40% of my bet right away! Not good! However, if I can just stand there and keep betting more than 10 times, Im going to do it and just keep letting my bet ride over and over again. Nine times out of 10, I win 10% of my bet, which far more than makes up for the 40% I lose one time out of 10. If I think about nothing but that first ball, Im probably not going to bet and Im going to want to take my money off of the table. Its only when I think about the fact that Im going to be around for 30 or so balls to come out of the tumbler that I begin to feel good about it. (In fact, I probably dont even pay much attention at all to the individual balls coming out of the tumbler, because it really doesnt matter to me.) The thing is, its pretty scary when the black ball comes out of the tumbler. Suddenly, a large chunk of our money is gone, and its really tempting to take your bet and run away. Thats silly, though. Its like quitting a game of basketball because you missed your first shot. If you were only going to care about your first shot or your most recent shot you wouldnt bother to play that game at all. If a basketball player quit when they miss a few shots in a row, no one would ever play basketball. At the same time, no one would bet their entire life savings on one single shot of the basketball. For most people, the stock market is a very long term investment more than 10 years and making decisions on that investment based on the last month or two is a grave mistake. Its like firing Michael Jordan because he missed 10 shots in the game last night and his team lost. Instead, look at the last 10 years of stock market returns when making your decision, because thats the kind of time frame you care about. Dont look at this chart when making financial decisions; look at this one instead. In other words, look at the long term, not the short term, because if youre investing for more than 10 years down the road, the short term is meaningless. We Listen Too Much to Current News and Media and Thats a Mistake The United States currently has three different major 24 hour news channels available on most cable providers, two devoted financial television channels available on many cable providers, and countless journalists and prognosticators trying to make a name for themselves on the internet, particularly on social media. All of that has to be filled with some kind of content, and its usually whatever content that they can find that will attract eyeballs. What attracts eyeballs? Fear. Its why disasters get breathless coverage. Its why the efforts of Washington are constantly painted to be doom and gloom and disastrous and even evil. That kind of coverage is constant, too its around the clock on news networks and social media. The same exact thing is true with the stock market. A 10% drop in the stock market really isnt anything unusual it happens every few years at least but to hear the news networks and social media and the prognosticators and the talking heads tell it, its apocalypse out there. The sky is literally falling, everyone is going broke, people are jumping out of buildings on Wall Street. Its being reported as something unique and something disastrous because thats what attracts eyeballs, and eyeballs are what makes the news networks and the reporters on social media lots of money. Theres so much time to kill and space to fill that the same things get reported on over and over and over again until the urgency of the supposed disaster seems almost overwhelming, driving people to emotional extremes. My belief is that social media and cable news are not very useful for understanding the world. They present current events from the singular angle that makes them the most money and thats through pushing emotional buttons, mostly fear. That emotional button drives people to poor decisions, and its abundantly clear when it comes to finances. In other words, social media and other news sources tend to encourage people to react emotionally to things rather than rationally. Investing is a rational game rather than an emotional one; if you make emotion-driven investment decisions, youre going to lose out. Thus, at least in terms of investment decisions on the scale of the individual investor saving for retirement, you should pay no attention to the 24 hour news cycle. It nudges you toward emotional decisions rather than rational ones. We Put Our Faith in Salespeople and Thats a Mistake Another problem is that many of the people out there talking about the stock market are effectively salespeople. They want people to buy some product theyre selling, whether its an account with their brokerage, their services as an investment manager, or an investment sold by their company. In general, brokerages make money when you do something with your investments, whether its buying shares or selling shares or something like that. They want you to take action regarding your investments. So, if the stock market is doing something, they have a financial interest in making it sound like a great reason to make a move. If you tune into CNBC or Fox Business lately, all of the chatter is about moving your investment money around to avoid getting hit hard by the stock market slide. Most of that talk is coming from guests who work for brokerages, who make money when you move your investments around. Always ask yourself where your investment suggestions are coming from and why theyre being given. Yes, that includes me. I write because I believe in what Im saying, and I make money by having more readers, not by convincing anyone to take any action. The more readers I have, the more advertisement views the site gets, and the more money everyone involved makes. Thus, it is in my best interest to do my best to give realistic advice and thoughts. With the talking heads on financial television, the goal of the host is to keep you watching, while the goal of the guest is to entertain you and, along the way, try to nudge you to their point of view because the guest makes money by being entertaining (from the network) and makes money by having more customers buying and selling investments (from their own business). In other words, take the words of investment advisors on financial networks with a grain of salt. Most investment advisors will do right by you in a one-on-one situation, but thats not their goal when theyre on television. On television, theyre there to entertain, to get the name of their brokerage out there, and to nudge people to take action on their investments whether its in their best interest or not. Practical Approaches Together, these three issues along with natural human risk aversion cause people to get extremely jittery when the stock market grumbles. Every time a 10% drop happens, I get emails and messages from readers with sentiments like those expressed by Dave and Charles and Ally. While I cant offer a perfect solution for everyone, here are five practical steps you can take to help quell the desire to make abrupt retirement moves when the stock market drops. For starters, just stop paying any attention to the day to day financial news. Dont watch CNBC. Dont watch Fox Business. Dont read financial news. Leave that to people who do this for a living and might change their investments every 15 minutes to try to score a short-term buck. Thats not the situation youre in and thus most of the day to day financial news is irrelevant. It provides you with information that isnt relevant to your decisions and emotional twists designed to nudge you to make a mistake. Just stop watching its not providing value to you. While youre at it, stop paying much attention to the 24 hour news cycle. Almost all of it is driven to trigger emotions and garner eyeballs, not to actually inform you in any meaningful way. Learn from well-researched books and well-referenced articles, not from hot takes and high pressure combative guest appearances. If youre taking financial advice from someone, know who that person is, where theyre coming from, and whether theyre trying to sell you something. Who is this person who is encouraging me to sell? Why are they saying this? What do they have to gain from it? If you can clearly see how they gain from your moves, take their advice with a grain of salt. Dont look at your account balance except on a regular infrequent pattern just to make sure everythings working fine. Looking at your balance frequently makes you start to overinflate the importance of day to day changes compared to long term changes, and its the long-term changes you care about. We often buy into the idea that we should be worried if our investments have gone down the last few times weve looked at them. Know what your plan is for saving for retirement and stick to it regardless of the news. A good plan is based on principles, and for retirement, that means staying put through thick and thin and only making changes in specific situations that you considered outside of the news cycle. Stick to that plan and dont let short-term changes and emotional responses change that plan. In short, stick to the plan and stop listening to people who are just adding noise to the mix. Good luck! Related: https://www.thesimpledollar.com/worried-about-the-stock-market-and-your-retirement-savings-read-this/

[trendingnewsb]

The Weird Origin Story of the Viral, Dangerous Hoverboard

A few weeks ago, I bought a new toy. $595 on Amazon, Prime shipping, showed up 36 hours after I clicked buy. It weighs 22 pounds, and, after about an hour of practice, I had it going top speed, about 6 mph. (It feels faster than it sounds.) I’ve fallen off it a million times, often after it does this weird seizure-crash thing that I cant figure out how to stop or predict.

My new toy is called a Two Wheels Smart Self Balancing Scooters Drifting Board Electric (blue), and it’s kind of like a Segway—but with no handlebars. It’s not a skateboard, but it’s kind of like a sideways skateboard? It’s like a scooter, ish? The world has mostly decided to call it a hoverboard. I don’t know what to call it.

Whatever it is, I love it. And it’s all Justin Bieber’s fault. It just looked so fun in his Instagrams.

All it took was one Instagram of Kendall Jenner on the board for the PhunkeeDuck to blow up.

If you’ve been paying attention, you’ve seen it before. It’s sort of a phenomenon. Here is a (very) partial list of celebrities who have tweeted, Instagrammed, or YouTubed themselves riding one in the last couple of months: The Biebs himself, Chris Brown (who is awesome at it), Nick Jonas, Zedd, Soulja Boy, Kendall Jenner, JR Smith, Nicki Minaj, Wiz Khalifa, Nina Agdal, David Ortiz, Karim Benzema, and Skrillex. It’s been on the Tonight Show, and showed up at the NBA Finals.

Every time anyone uploads a video or picture of this scooter, the commenters all want to know two things: What’s that called, and where can I buy it?

That’s where it gets weird.

What’s in a name?

In late May, in front of a Fleet Week audience of military members, Jamie Foxx rolled onto the Tonight Show stage on a scooter. Once he figured out how to get off it, Foxx explained to Jimmy Fallon, “It’s, uh, a PhunkeeDuck,” as he rolled the board toward himself to make sure he had the name right. Fallon got on it, and did what everyone does their first time: wobbled jelly-legged for a minute, and then slowly inched around before getting comfortable.

That whole scene really annoys IO Hawk’s Curtis Hedges. Because, he says, that scooter was not a PhunkeeDuck. It was an IO Hawk, his companys product. Hedges tells me to look closely at the wheels, where there’s clearly an “IO” logo in the center. He’s laughing, too, as if he can hardly comprehend the idea that PhunkeeDuck isn’t stealing. And he’s right: PhunkeeDucks look just like IO Hawks, right down to the IO logos on their boards and wheels. That, Hedges says, is because they’re exactly the same thing. “Put a sticker on it, call it a totally different name, and start selling.”

That’s exactly true, actually. The PhunkeeDuck guys don’t even deny it. But they’re quick to dispute the idea that theyre rebranding IO Hawk’s board. “The owner of IO Hawk went around telling everyone he was the inventor of this product,” PhunkeeDuck co-founder Matthew Waxman says, referring to IO Hawk CEO John Soibatian.“That’s just completely false.”

PhunkeeDuck and IO Hawk are the two biggest players in this nascent scooter market, but there are many others. There’s Oxboard, Cyboard, Scoot, Future Foot, Monorover, Airboard, Freego, Esway, Airwheel, iEZWay, Overoad, and a hundred names more along the lines of Two Wheels Smart Self Balancing Scooters Drifting Board Electric (blue).

The real story doesn’t begin with IO Hawk or PhunkeeDuck. It begins, as just about any modern technology story does, in China.

Depending on which one you buy, you’ll pay anywhere from $600 to $1,800 for a scooter. But make no mistake: They’re all the same. The designs may vary slightly—sometimes the faux hubcaps are shaped in Mercedes-like triangles, sometimes there are five or six spokes—but like painting tiger stripes on your kitty cat, nobodys getting fooled here.

The real story of the scooter doesn’t begin with IO Hawk or PhunkeeDuck. It begins, as just about any modern technology story does, in China.

Made in China

Before we go any further, I need to admit that I don’t know, positively, where the scooter comes from. The Chinese manufacturing industry moves so quickly and with so little documentation that it’s basically impossible to fact-check any company’s cries of “first!”

But here’s what I think I know: Theres a company called Chic Robotics, which is also known as Hangzhou Chic Intelligent Technology Co., Ltd, and I think it invented the scooter. (There’s a scooter called the Hovertrax that predates it slightly, but it’s not quite the same thing.) Chic’s logo—the horizontal line on top of an oval that just so happens to look like “IO” when rotated 90 degrees—is plastered all over most versions of the board. And Chic’s name keeps coming up when you talk to the people selling the thing.

The company was founded in 2013, born in connection with China’s Zhejiang University. It was created to make stuff, obviously, but also to champion IP protection in China, to improve patents and copyrights and and foster what the company calls “sustainable innovation.” It holds a series of patents related to the scooter, and has diligently (and apparently pointlessly) attempted to protect them.

Chic’s first scooter was called the Smart S1. It debuted in August of 2014, with a goofy commercial that almost certainly isn’t meant to be goofy. It shows a man walking down the hallway, laden with heavy books and a heavy heart, before finally being saved by the smooth ride of the Smart S1. It’s like a bizarro take on a heartwarming Coke commercial.

In the fall of 2014, Chic took the S1 to the Canton Fair, China’s largest trade show. This semi-annual extravaganza attracts more than 180,000 buyers from around the world, there to see tens of thousands of Chinese exporters hawk their wares.

In China, the reward for being first is still just being first to be copied.

Chic’s supply of scooters disappeared quicklyeverybody wanted one. Soon, people were riding them all over the gigantic convention center. The hordes of buyers and suppliers were all over the Smart S1. Distributors across the world noticed, and so did other factories in China. Before long Alibaba was littered with manufacturers offering the same board—often using the same images and promotional videos, their logos hastily Photoshopped over Chic’s.

If you’ve seen one…

This manufacturing virality, where as soon as something is created it is immediately everywhere, isn’t unique to two-wheeled self-balancing scooters. It’s how Chinese factories make and sell everything from iPhone chargers to televisions to headphones. Or e-cigarettes, another recent favorite Justin Bieber accessory: Just about every brand is the same thing with a different label. “All you have to do is make a phone call to one of the six manufacturers or so in China that are producing these e-cigarettes,” says James Monsees, CEO of e-cigaretteer Pax Labs, “and youd say how much? And oh, I want it to be an orange tip on the end and say Orange on the packaging. Its an hour-long conversation…and youre in the e-cig business.”

In many ways, that’s one of China’s greatest assets as an industrial country. From iPhones to Harry Potter to Starbucks to basically the whole country of Austria, China’s ability to take anything and build it faster, cheaper, and maybe even better, is without equal. But China has made clear that it doesn’t just want to copy Apple anymore—it wants the next Apple to be Chinese. That would require better patent protection, and better regulation from the government. “The political economic institutions and system in China make it so entrepreneurs cant make profit by developing novel innovation,” then-Georgia Tech professor Dan Breznitz told the New York Times in 2011. As it is, the reward for being first is still just being first to be copied.

Because the Chinese manufacturing industry is so centralized, anything new spreads like crazy through the supply chain. One manufacturer creates a product; another reverse-engineers it and makes it too. And that next company can make it cheaper and faster, because it has no R&D costs. In most cases, this endless game of product-telephone makes the product worse.

Jeff Wells, who sells a scooter he calls The Scoot, ticks off a number of corners he’s seen factories cut. “Weaker motors, not as reliable batteries, gyro boards, improper motherboard design,” Wells says. “There are a lot of areas where they can shortcut.” He laughs when I tell him about my board’s nasty tendency to randomly start shivering uncontrollably, before spinning completely out of control and shutting down.

The PhunkeeDuck costs $1,499.99, and there’s a waiting list to get one.

“You probably, right now, have five manufacturers in China that are beginning to make these,” Wells says. He’s been importing products from construction materials to medical equipment for years, and says the key is quality control. “Youve got to tour the facilities, youve got to see them manufacturing over the long-term basis.” Because when factories take shortcuts, the problems that crop up can be hard to see in an online listing, and they can be devastating.

That’s why the Scoot costs $695, when you can buy a seemingly identical device on Alibaba for $200 or so. (He thinks the magic price is somewhere in the $500 range, though, and says we’ll be there by Christmas.) The craziest part? Wells is actually leaving a lot of money on the table. IO Hawk, an LA-based company with a virtually identical story (and product), sells its scooter for $1,799.99 and still can’t keep up with demand. The PhunkeeDuck costs $1,499.99, and there’s a waiting list to get one.

Lets talk about the PhunkeeDuck. Its sold by PhunkeeTree, a New York-based company that began as two guys repackaging and re-branding phone cases and chargers for stores like Nordstrom and Forever 21. Last year, the guys went to the Hong Kong Electronics Show, to talk to their existing suppliers and to see what else they could add to their selection of chargers, cases, and cables. “While we were there we actually found this other factory that for the first time debuted this product to a select few,” Waxman says. “And we happened to be in the right place at the right time, so we started working with them to customize our own version of it.”

“Customize,” at least in this first version, consists of putting PhunkeeDuck stickers on the board and its box. Waxman and co-founder Maxx Yellin say they’re working with the factory—which they won’t name—to modify it in more significant ways, and says patents are a-pending. But they won’t share details yet.

Josh Valcarcel/WIRED

IO Hawk is a step ahead, having launched first—at CES in January—and already offering a few improvements in its model. Theres a metal frame, for one thing, which can take a heavier load. It can handle up to 400 pounds, though they don’t advertise it as quite that high. The company is also developing custom firmware for the device to make it run better. And, like PhunkeeDuck, IO Hawk claims it has big ideas it’s not ready to share for fear they’ll be stolen.

While they wait for patents to be granted and modifications to be implemented, though, this scooter just keeps popping up in unexpected places under new names. And with every celebrity appearance, every Instagram of Chris Brown dancing or Nick Jonas rolling into a pool, the pace picks up even more. After PhunkeeTree managed to get Kendall Jenner a board, thanks to a well-placed friend in LA, all it took was one Instagram of her being a little bit too confident on the board for the PhunkeeDuck to blow up. (That gram alone netted 1.1 million likes.) Celebs starting hitting them up left and right for samples, and as they shared their adventures on social media more people wanted to try them too. “We didnt have to ask them to post,” Waxman says. “They just loved it so much that Chris Brown was riding it around, and Wiz Khalifa was using it onstage.”

One of their most consistent askers was the rapper Soulja Boy, who finally got a PhunkeeDuck after months of pestering. A couple of days after his board arrived, a new device hit the market: The Soulja Board. $1,500, available in green and red. Its site, souljaboard.com, was put together so quickly there’s still dummy text on the About page.

“He starts posting, hey guys come buy my Souldja Board,” Waxman says. “And he’s standing on our PhunkeeDuck!”

Read more: http://ift.tt/2esRPIZ

from Viral News HQ http://ift.tt/2oLFm7k via Viral News HQ

[tumblunni]

also wtf who designed rune factory 4 this way THIS IS MY ONLY COMPLAINT IN AN AMAZING GAME why are all the romance routes entirely random?? even after youve reached the relationship milestones its COMPLETELY RANDOM whether the event will start every day same for every friendship event and town event and even some plot events you just have to sit there at your bed constantly skipping days for multiple years til the random number god gives you the marriage scene you did EVERYTHING to earn this marriage scene and you have nothing left to do but wait and youll never see any new events with that character until it happens, and you have a very limited amount of dates to go on while youre waiting, and they all do NOTHING except raise the relationship bar over maximum which does nothing. doesnt even increase the chance of the random event?? why even LET me increase it over maximum if it does nothing? thats just tricking me into thinking i havent unlocked the marriage event yet! when I HAVE and i just need to WAIT A BAZILLION YEARS OF RANDOM

anyway i finally got Leon’s random marriage quest and it was Awesome and So Many Tears and now im even more conflicted on who to marry gahhhhh its such a shame you cant resolve everyone’s plot unless you date them, i feel so bad dating all these people when im not able to marry them all, just cos i wanna fix their lives and make them happy but then theyre gon be sad that we didnt get married aaaa

and Leon is especially saddddd

now cos his whole plot is that he had a depressing scenario with a friend as a kid. She loved him but he saw her as just a little sister, and he jokingly promised to marry her once when they were too young to understand. And he didnt know she took it seriously until after he DIED and reincarnated as a fox monster person centuries later too late to do anything about it. And he’s crushed full of guilt that he somehow led her on, and he was never able to apologise, and he’s scared she spent her whole life waiting for him to come back. and then you get this very cool series of sidequests thatre a realistic look at translating languages, and its really motivational how leon is able to help bring knowledge of a dead language back to life and preserve the ancient culture that people thought was lost BUT THEN ENDLESS FUCKIN TRAGEDY kiel accidentally finds an old diary of leon’s friend (WHAT ARE THE ODDS) and he has frickin detailed anxiety attacks unable to even hold the damn paper cos he’s shaking so much and you go on a big treasure hunt to find all the pages and he’s just CRYING SO MUCH mr playboy man! mr flirty asshole! mr stoic! he’s fuckin crying and he cant hold a book without your help and aaaa and his whole story is about how he isnt really the negative stereotypes of a flirty character, he really REALLY values love and he feels depressed he cant love everyone who loves him, so he tries to fake it. And he tries to push people away whenever it seems genuine, but also like... entertain them enough that they dont feel he doesnt love them, i guess? and no matter how promiscuous a person is, they still cant love EVERYONE, you cant just force a relationship on them and say they must be asking for it cos they date other people and enjoy sex. its so depressing that he considers his biggest flaw that he wasnt able to force himself to love someone he didnt, especially when he did care about her, just as a best friend instead! if theyd just talked about it, it would have saved all this heartache for both of them! so then we start piecing together this book and it looks like his worst fears are confirmed, she spent her whole life waiting for him and hating him and its really fucking EXPLODINGLY SAD and then the quest is a bit confusing so i spent several days stuck on this point not knowing who to talk to next, going through random dungeons in case that somehow helped. turned out i did find the right spot but the quest just doesnt progress until you talk to the right person first GAH! stuck for five days on crying leon scene!! NOOOOOO but I finally got past it and CLIMACTIC HAPPY END or bittersweet end more like we find out we mistranslated one bit which was actually PAGE NUMBERS, and we were missing a page all along! and then the final page reveals that she actually moved on and found a new love and had a happy family and grew old together, and her only frustration with leon was imagining that he couldnt find the same thing, worrying that she’d betrayed him. So this wasnt a diary, it was actually a letter she wrote for him to find, having confidence he’d wake up someday and have another chance at happiness! She just wanted him to know that she kept his memory alive and she’s sorry and she was happy and AAAAAAUUUGH im tearing up again the bit that really got me was that we find out that leon’s favourite romance novel was actually written by her. It was so popular it survived into the modern day as a literature classic, and it convinces him that she really was happy with her new boyfriend if she could write something as beautiful as this. And he wants to embody the spirit of the book with you, and keep his new promise to her to have a happy family of his own :) ... AGHHHHHHHHAAAAAHHHHH why cant i marry everyone why do so many of them have plots where it seems like they wont be happy unless i love them... even now i dont really think the leon pairing is my favourite, i wish i could have had this plot as a friendship route! i think it would have resonated just as much since the whole backstory is about him being friends with someone who had unrequited love for him. i wanna be leon’s bestie and ultimate wingman! I like him a lot but I dont really think i wanna marry him! IM SO SORRY LEON AAAA he’s such a soulful beefcake dammit I’m sure he’d find a bazillion better lovers! I’m sure a lot of players did marry him! WHY DO I FEEL SO GUILTY AAAAA its not fair, aaaa arthur was the first one i dated and i also really care about him but in his case his way of acting in the romance isnt very different to when youre just friends so i dont think i wanna commit to that relationship maybe? it might change when i see his final random event but i dont get much ‘he’ll be happy with you’ vibes, its just strengthening their powerful brotp that they had from the start of the game. he feels like someone protagonist would indeed date, but theyd part again on friendly terms after it didnt work out, and then be amicable exes who still care a lot about each other. and I just feel like I wanna marry dylas even though he’s had the least tragic events so far. gahhhh! he just seems SO HAPPY dating you, and has loads of character development since it started, unlike the other two ive seen the dates for. he feels like he’s actually getting something out of this that he wouldnt if we were just friends? its so hard trying to weigh up the pros and cons of romance options in games when im inacapble of actually being attracted to anyone, its just ‘i care about you all and i wanna give you the best possible ending’. I haaaaate when games have it so that romance is always the best possible ending for every single character and they all suffer forever if you dont pick them :P and I havent even seen the romances with the other three dudes yet! GAHHHHH!! Theyre all the ones I wasnt immediately interested in dating, but that opinion could totally change, i could end up with a six way tie :P ... ALSO RANDOM BUT is anyone else really uncomfortable with the queerbaiting in this game? there is a LOt, a LOT of ‘lol maybe gay’, sometimes so clear that it seems the game is outright canonically stating this character is gay or bisexual yet you have no option to marry them unless youre the opposite sex. It gets REALLY uncomfortable with Dylas, he just,,, does not express any interest in women at all unless the player pursues him. And his mutual crush with doug is CONSTANTLY REFERENCED, and called out very clearly for what it is. IOf the game didnt keep pointing it out i would have been able to shrug it off as just accidental chemistry from a failed rivalry plotline or something, but we have EVERYONE saying ‘oh a lover’s quarrel’ and ‘be honest about your feelings’ and ‘i bet you wanna see doug in a swimsuit’ and ‘gee i really wanna see doug in a swimsuit’ and IT CANT BE ANY MORE CANON THAN THIS. And.. like.. Dylas even says he DOESNT wanna see women in swimsuits, he’s just here at the beach cos Doug might come along. He does not express any interest in women at all except the protagonist! It makes me feel SO uncomfortable! it feels like he’s actually gay, when with most other characters they seem bisexual?? I dunno how to explain it, thats just how it comes off to me. Why is there no option for him and doug to date, why cant i date him as the male protagonist?? His romance route is so totally gender neutral, i did the postgame protagonist swap cheat and it just feels more in-character for him this way. if im gonna steal him away from Doug i dont want it to be a weird gay conversion therapy type thing, it just feels so WEIRD. The one and ONLY stated crush he has on another character, and its gay, and theres NO OPTION FOR IT TO HAPPEN and then he suddenly becomes 100% straight and never talks about doug again if a fem protagonist dates him. SO WEEEEEIRD... I’m just gonna sit here on the non-canon bonus feature dylas x male protag train and never leave. If you cant have doug you shall have the transitioned me! Its funny cos he’s like the only batchelor i very vehemently cannot ship with fem protag, yet do with male protag :P but GAHHH leon deserves a family and i could give him a child and aaaaa SO HARD TO CHOOSE also i am sad that the postgame cheatmode lets you switch to any character but if its not one of the two protags its only your overworld model and not your face portraits. Its weird because every batchelor and batchelorette has the exact same full set of emotions and costumes, so why cant i access that?? its also a shame cos it means i cant roleplay my doug and dylas marriage properly :P CMON MAN WHY U EVEN TELL ME THEY IN LOVE IF THEY CANT BE IN LOVE :P they have the best portmanteau ship name too! douglas! :P

[summersandsodapop]

Lost and found

It was a flash. In a flash she had left her support system and got into the car with a bunch of strangers. Every warning siren in her brain was screaming as she she buckled the seatbelt in the passenger seat. She checked her bag for her emergency phone. And the paranoia was setting in as she tried to control her breaths in the least awkward and obvious was possible. She felt a tap on her shoulder, “3 blue sheep” she heard phinn ask. The second thing he had ever said to her. “3 brown sheep” “3 grown sheep” “3 gowned sheep” she responded. She wasn't sure how he also knew the exercise. It was really dumb her old therapist came up with it. It was meant to distract you when you got overwhelmed. Victoria didn't seen much real proof behind it and it was obviously made up on the spot. But the familiar words were comforting she turned around and smiled to him, he gave a small smile, not a true smile. And nodded. Maybe he was just quiet. Couldn't blame him, she couldn't imagine what It would be like to lose a sibling let alone a twin…. She had though. She had lost a twin. She lost him in her mind. She felt a twinge a guilt for letting herself forget them. And this was the least she could do They pulled up on a house, it looked familiar not in the sense that she had been there before ever in her life, but it was across the street from Carmen's house, she found it funny just how close she was to them, and just missed it. But maybe that was there fault. Or maybe it was hard to see the resemblance with black hair… of course phinn had black hair to. And Caroline had brown hair… but still. “Here we are 177 maple drive” Phillip said pulling the car into the driveway. Victoria had always found suburban house strange. They were big mostly. So many rooms just for one family. But as she looked at how big this family was it didn't seem all that strange. These homes were made for big families clearly. The house was white with a soft blue trim, it felt odd, the colors didn't match the family but maybe they didn't care. The whole family loaded out of the car with grace and she was a slow kinda crawl. She was glad she sent her flowers with Samantha, made that easier. They all kicked off their shoes and obviously made a effort to place them in the proper cubby, she understood her family had a shoot cubby to. She followed there lead and James placed a hand on her shoulder with a cheeky grin. “Well Victoria, we weren't going to eat till around 7” Phillip said, not sure what to make of himself. His long lost daughter was back, she had set foot in his house, and yet she was still a total stranger. “It's about 4 now… why don't you kids give her the tour?” “Sure” Carolina said. Victoria felt a stiffness in the house and the family. It was clear how distant they were. It was strange to see coming from a very close family and into a distant one. But clearly they still got along, hopefully “Should we start with… the living room?” James said hand on her back. “Sure” Victoria said as he swept the room with his other hand like it a was a grand palace and not a tv room. It had a big comfy couch and a tc and a nice table with books that her sister called ‘dressed to impressed books’ but she couldn't help but get the feeling that one of them was actually reading it for the joy of reading it. Perhaps they could have that in common. “This is are lovely family room where we get to together and watch disney movies. I will tell you right now phinns favorite movie is not wallie, you would thinks its wallie because the kid loves robots SO MUCH, victoria listen he loves robots. However his favorite disney movie is little mermaid, and no it's not because had had red hair, or so i've been told he had red hair once upon a time, it's because of the fish. Flounder he really relates” “Flounders one of my favorites too” “See phinn look you two have at the very least to things in common” james said seeming to grow in height as he looked at the boy with a grin. the boy weakly smiled back “wow that is the warmest smile i have ever seen from him. Look victoria you're cracking through his cold dark hearts” “F+++ off” victoria help but gasp at the swear word. Samantha never said much more then hell, it was the one thing there father was very strictly against, the swears. “Swear jar” she squeaked “Ooo that's a good idea” caroline said “phinn were getting you a swear jar maybe that will teach you to cut back on the swearing!” phinn turned red and shrunk in on himself “I didn't mean to… call you out” she muttered “Moving on to the kitchen” james said turning her around before much more could be said. “And through the kitchen we find the garage door, dad are we allowed to show her the lab?” “Just don't touch anything if you're not sure what it does” “You might want to tie your hair back” caroline said sitting down on a stool “i never trust what's in there” victoria nodded, her dad also had a lab that she hung around in often, and she just understood lab safety overall. She pulled a hair tie of her wrist (she always had one) and pulled her hair into a skward ponie as james opened the door like a grand ball room. It was a garage. But it had counters with bubbles and a work bench and anything she could dream up in a small garage lab. “It's amazing: she muttered stepping in and phinn perked up a bit “Its technically dads but he lets me use it… i tend to use it more than he does” phinn muttered walking in, “Can i see what youve working on?” “... it's a robot” phinn said finally looking her in the eyes for the first time since they met “James wasn't lying, you do really like a robots” “I do” “I have a plan for some micro bots… maybe we could build them as like a duo” “Yeah! That would be fun” phinn smiled. “I can't wait to see what you've been working on too” “It's… a flying broom… well it's a hovering broom techianly” “Does it work?” “Of course it works!” “That's the flynn in ya” phillip said leaning into the door frame “Please dad if that were true i think i would be smarter” caroline muttered “There's different kinds of smart” victoria said “maybe you're more artistically inclined” “Candi plays 12 different kinds of instruments and has painting in museums” james said “See!” victoria said “that's amazing!’ and caroline smiled “You are wise beyond your years too torie” james whispered “Moving on to the up stairs!” They started with james room, it was simple room and clean too. A desk a twin bed. About the size of victoria's room only he didn't have to share it so it seemed bigger than it probably actually was. He had some pictures all from italy. Victoria had lived there for 2 years and recognized it instantly “Italy” “Yes, that's where i'm from originally” “oh Ho vissuto in Italia per un po 'troppo” “Oh veramente! non c'è da meravigliarsi andiamo d'accordo” “No wonder indeed” victoria smiled “it's a kinship” “You lived in italy?” phinn asked “Yes, my father sometimes goes to other countries for his job. Italy was the most recent and the longest we stayed somewhere. 2 years. Previously it was japan for a year and half.” “That's really cool” james said “you're like a carrier exchange student” “It feels like it sometimes.” “Well we can discuss all about italy in the future because we will be talking about it i have notes. Meanwhile, the tour must continue. If you will fallow me right this way miss to phinns room. Witch i hope is clean for a change” “It is… i cleaned it” the two older sibling of sorts seemed shocked by this. Turning around at him “Oh” caroline said smiling “that's good to hear” “Yeah! I'm impressed” “You don't have to make such a big deal about it. I clean it from time to time” they nodded and james opened the next door across the hall from him. Phinns room was a little bit bigger, it looked like maybe once it was supposed to be shared considering the two windows. Phinns bed was tucked away in the corner and had big tall posts and a couch loft thing on top… the were bunk beds once weren't they. He had a messy desk across from the bed, it had a picture on it but she couldn't see what it was. It was covered in notebooks and textbooks and pens and clue prints. “You've been working hard” “Oh yeah.” he said looking sheepishly at his desk “i forgot to clean that” “It's alright, a messy desk is a busy mind. That's what my dad ses” “Wise words” caroline nodded “but i would say messy mind” “Maybe so” victoria said “messy, busy. At some points they mean the same thing” Next they went to caroline's room. Her room was cream but it had pink and purple everywhere. As the eldest she had the nicest room for sure. A slightly bigger bed, with a fluffy comforter. Posters of different bands. She had a music stand and easel in the corner and a vanity. “It's so pretty” “Thanks you, i'm quite fond of it myself” she smiled and closed the door. “Well that's the tour… i don't know what we should do know” “We could play a game” victoria said! “No better way to bond then a good ol fashioned board game” “No i think that's how you drive families apart” phinn said “Those you survive hardships together are the closest of all” “i agree with tori” james said “No i'm with phinn on this one. However on the other hand mouse traps is my hidden talent so… i'm on team play a game” “Thats cold” phinn said “Not as cold as you” “Wow” james said “that was a low hit” phinn cracked a smile at this but victoria wasn't sure why “Fine, but i get to choose the game” They ended up playing mouse traps. Turns out caroline is studying law.

[trendingnewsb]

The Weird Origin Story of the Viral, Dangerous Hoverboard

A few weeks ago, I bought a new toy. $595 on Amazon, Prime shipping, showed up 36 hours after I clicked buy. It weighs 22 pounds, and, after about an hour of practice, I had it going top speed, about 6 mph. (It feels faster than it sounds.) I’ve fallen off it a million times, often after it does this weird seizure-crash thing that I cant figure out how to stop or predict.

My new toy is called a Two Wheels Smart Self Balancing Scooters Drifting Board Electric (blue), and it’s kind of like a Segway—but with no handlebars. It’s not a skateboard, but it’s kind of like a sideways skateboard? It’s like a scooter, ish? The world has mostly decided to call it a hoverboard. I don’t know what to call it.

Whatever it is, I love it. And it’s all Justin Bieber’s fault. It just looked so fun in his Instagrams.

All it took was one Instagram of Kendall Jenner on the board for the PhunkeeDuck to blow up.

If you’ve been paying attention, you’ve seen it before. It’s sort of a phenomenon. Here is a (very) partial list of celebrities who have tweeted, Instagrammed, or YouTubed themselves riding one in the last couple of months: The Biebs himself, Chris Brown (who is awesome at it), Nick Jonas, Zedd, Soulja Boy, Kendall Jenner, JR Smith, Nicki Minaj, Wiz Khalifa, Nina Agdal, David Ortiz, Karim Benzema, and Skrillex. It’s been on the Tonight Show, and showed up at the NBA Finals.

Every time anyone uploads a video or picture of this scooter, the commenters all want to know two things: What’s that called, and where can I buy it?

That’s where it gets weird.

What’s in a name?

In late May, in front of a Fleet Week audience of military members, Jamie Foxx rolled onto the Tonight Show stage on a scooter. Once he figured out how to get off it, Foxx explained to Jimmy Fallon, “It’s, uh, a PhunkeeDuck,” as he rolled the board toward himself to make sure he had the name right. Fallon got on it, and did what everyone does their first time: wobbled jelly-legged for a minute, and then slowly inched around before getting comfortable.

That whole scene really annoys IO Hawk’s Curtis Hedges. Because, he says, that scooter was not a PhunkeeDuck. It was an IO Hawk, his companys product. Hedges tells me to look closely at the wheels, where there’s clearly an “IO” logo in the center. He’s laughing, too, as if he can hardly comprehend the idea that PhunkeeDuck isn’t stealing. And he’s right: PhunkeeDucks look just like IO Hawks, right down to the IO logos on their boards and wheels. That, Hedges says, is because they’re exactly the same thing. “Put a sticker on it, call it a totally different name, and start selling.”

That’s exactly true, actually. The PhunkeeDuck guys don’t even deny it. But they’re quick to dispute the idea that theyre rebranding IO Hawk’s board. “The owner of IO Hawk went around telling everyone he was the inventor of this product,” PhunkeeDuck co-founder Matthew Waxman says, referring to IO Hawk CEO John Soibatian.“That’s just completely false.”

PhunkeeDuck and IO Hawk are the two biggest players in this nascent scooter market, but there are many others. There’s Oxboard, Cyboard, Scoot, Future Foot, Monorover, Airboard, Freego, Esway, Airwheel, iEZWay, Overoad, and a hundred names more along the lines of Two Wheels Smart Self Balancing Scooters Drifting Board Electric (blue).

The real story doesn’t begin with IO Hawk or PhunkeeDuck. It begins, as just about any modern technology story does, in China.

Depending on which one you buy, you’ll pay anywhere from $600 to $1,800 for a scooter. But make no mistake: They’re all the same. The designs may vary slightly—sometimes the faux hubcaps are shaped in Mercedes-like triangles, sometimes there are five or six spokes—but like painting tiger stripes on your kitty cat, nobodys getting fooled here.

The real story of the scooter doesn’t begin with IO Hawk or PhunkeeDuck. It begins, as just about any modern technology story does, in China.

Made in China

Before we go any further, I need to admit that I don’t know, positively, where the scooter comes from. The Chinese manufacturing industry moves so quickly and with so little documentation that it’s basically impossible to fact-check any company’s cries of “first!”

But here’s what I think I know: Theres a company called Chic Robotics, which is also known as Hangzhou Chic Intelligent Technology Co., Ltd, and I think it invented the scooter. (There’s a scooter called the Hovertrax that predates it slightly, but it’s not quite the same thing.) Chic’s logo—the horizontal line on top of an oval that just so happens to look like “IO” when rotated 90 degrees—is plastered all over most versions of the board. And Chic’s name keeps coming up when you talk to the people selling the thing.

The company was founded in 2013, born in connection with China’s Zhejiang University. It was created to make stuff, obviously, but also to champion IP protection in China, to improve patents and copyrights and and foster what the company calls “sustainable innovation.” It holds a series of patents related to the scooter, and has diligently (and apparently pointlessly) attempted to protect them.

Chic’s first scooter was called the Smart S1. It debuted in August of 2014, with a goofy commercial that almost certainly isn’t meant to be goofy. It shows a man walking down the hallway, laden with heavy books and a heavy heart, before finally being saved by the smooth ride of the Smart S1. It’s like a bizarro take on a heartwarming Coke commercial.

In the fall of 2014, Chic took the S1 to the Canton Fair, China’s largest trade show. This semi-annual extravaganza attracts more than 180,000 buyers from around the world, there to see tens of thousands of Chinese exporters hawk their wares.

In China, the reward for being first is still just being first to be copied.

Chic’s supply of scooters disappeared quicklyeverybody wanted one. Soon, people were riding them all over the gigantic convention center. The hordes of buyers and suppliers were all over the Smart S1. Distributors across the world noticed, and so did other factories in China. Before long Alibaba was littered with manufacturers offering the same board—often using the same images and promotional videos, their logos hastily Photoshopped over Chic’s.

If you’ve seen one…

This manufacturing virality, where as soon as something is created it is immediately everywhere, isn’t unique to two-wheeled self-balancing scooters. It’s how Chinese factories make and sell everything from iPhone chargers to televisions to headphones. Or e-cigarettes, another recent favorite Justin Bieber accessory: Just about every brand is the same thing with a different label. “All you have to do is make a phone call to one of the six manufacturers or so in China that are producing these e-cigarettes,” says James Monsees, CEO of e-cigaretteer Pax Labs, “and youd say how much? And oh, I want it to be an orange tip on the end and say Orange on the packaging. Its an hour-long conversation…and youre in the e-cig business.”

In many ways, that’s one of China’s greatest assets as an industrial country. From iPhones to Harry Potter to Starbucks to basically the whole country of Austria, China’s ability to take anything and build it faster, cheaper, and maybe even better, is without equal. But China has made clear that it doesn’t just want to copy Apple anymore—it wants the next Apple to be Chinese. That would require better patent protection, and better regulation from the government. “The political economic institutions and system in China make it so entrepreneurs cant make profit by developing novel innovation,” then-Georgia Tech professor Dan Breznitz told the New York Times in 2011. As it is, the reward for being first is still just being first to be copied.

Because the Chinese manufacturing industry is so centralized, anything new spreads like crazy through the supply chain. One manufacturer creates a product; another reverse-engineers it and makes it too. And that next company can make it cheaper and faster, because it has no R&D costs. In most cases, this endless game of product-telephone makes the product worse.

Jeff Wells, who sells a scooter he calls The Scoot, ticks off a number of corners he’s seen factories cut. “Weaker motors, not as reliable batteries, gyro boards, improper motherboard design,” Wells says. “There are a lot of areas where they can shortcut.” He laughs when I tell him about my board’s nasty tendency to randomly start shivering uncontrollably, before spinning completely out of control and shutting down.

The PhunkeeDuck costs $1,499.99, and there’s a waiting list to get one.

“You probably, right now, have five manufacturers in China that are beginning to make these,” Wells says. He’s been importing products from construction materials to medical equipment for years, and says the key is quality control. “Youve got to tour the facilities, youve got to see them manufacturing over the long-term basis.” Because when factories take shortcuts, the problems that crop up can be hard to see in an online listing, and they can be devastating.

That’s why the Scoot costs $695, when you can buy a seemingly identical device on Alibaba for $200 or so. (He thinks the magic price is somewhere in the $500 range, though, and says we’ll be there by Christmas.) The craziest part? Wells is actually leaving a lot of money on the table. IO Hawk, an LA-based company with a virtually identical story (and product), sells its scooter for $1,799.99 and still can’t keep up with demand. The PhunkeeDuck costs $1,499.99, and there’s a waiting list to get one.

Lets talk about the PhunkeeDuck. Its sold by PhunkeeTree, a New York-based company that began as two guys repackaging and re-branding phone cases and chargers for stores like Nordstrom and Forever 21. Last year, the guys went to the Hong Kong Electronics Show, to talk to their existing suppliers and to see what else they could add to their selection of chargers, cases, and cables. “While we were there we actually found this other factory that for the first time debuted this product to a select few,” Waxman says. “And we happened to be in the right place at the right time, so we started working with them to customize our own version of it.”

“Customize,” at least in this first version, consists of putting PhunkeeDuck stickers on the board and its box. Waxman and co-founder Maxx Yellin say they’re working with the factory—which they won’t name—to modify it in more significant ways, and says patents are a-pending. But they won’t share details yet.

Josh Valcarcel/WIRED

IO Hawk is a step ahead, having launched first—at CES in January—and already offering a few improvements in its model. Theres a metal frame, for one thing, which can take a heavier load. It can handle up to 400 pounds, though they don’t advertise it as quite that high. The company is also developing custom firmware for the device to make it run better. And, like PhunkeeDuck, IO Hawk claims it has big ideas it’s not ready to share for fear they’ll be stolen.

While they wait for patents to be granted and modifications to be implemented, though, this scooter just keeps popping up in unexpected places under new names. And with every celebrity appearance, every Instagram of Chris Brown dancing or Nick Jonas rolling into a pool, the pace picks up even more. After PhunkeeTree managed to get Kendall Jenner a board, thanks to a well-placed friend in LA, all it took was one Instagram of her being a little bit too confident on the board for the PhunkeeDuck to blow up. (That gram alone netted 1.1 million likes.) Celebs starting hitting them up left and right for samples, and as they shared their adventures on social media more people wanted to try them too. “We didnt have to ask them to post,” Waxman says. “They just loved it so much that Chris Brown was riding it around, and Wiz Khalifa was using it onstage.”

One of their most consistent askers was the rapper Soulja Boy, who finally got a PhunkeeDuck after months of pestering. A couple of days after his board arrived, a new device hit the market: The Soulja Board. $1,500, available in green and red. Its site, souljaboard.com, was put together so quickly there’s still dummy text on the About page.

“He starts posting, hey guys come buy my Souldja Board,” Waxman says. “And he’s standing on our PhunkeeDuck!”

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