#its very hard to exist sometimes bc of how wildly my emotions fluctuate
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#personal#got a feeling again#... look becoming an adult is like. the worst thing ever for me i think#because i just recognize that i really wont ever have enough to live comfortably forever#and i will suffer and i will work hard and i have to figure things out on my own one day.#especially when i want to move out and live closer to friends.#it doesnt help that im mentally ill#i will go back and forth between the thought of moving out#and the definition of happiness.#its very hard to exist sometimes bc of how wildly my emotions fluctuate#i hate being caught in a thought and unable to escape#the thought isnt real#but im shackled to it#ah it hurts badly.#it should pass. soon enough. i suffer.#im not going to make something up. im not going to throw a fit about something that isnt a problem. i am triggered.#so small... it is so small.#i am so small.#it won't matter soon. nothing i feel matters. and thats how it should be. forever.#hope is not a word i can trust always. sometimes it is very dark.#i dont have hope often.#...#... what a mess.#tomorroe i will change#i hope tomorroe me will have hope again.
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