#ive been busy as honk

[sleepysheepytea]

*in the quietest and most polite way possible*

deez nuts

[heartspilt]

good evening monika nation ^__^

[evie-sturns]

ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴇʀ ᴄᴀᴍᴘ - ᴍᴀᴛᴛ ꜱᴛᴜʀɴɪᴏʟᴏ

part 2 (part 1 here)

summary: you and your best-friend matt, have decided to sign up to be a summer camp counsellor for your school's summer project! will you two stay as just friends? or will this summer turn out different for you guys.

a/n: theres going to be smut in the next part, hope you guys like this, read part 1 first, linked at the top! fuck danielle

contains: swearing, fighting (physical at some points), kissing/making out

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abrubtly matt pulls away, he saw me. his face drops as dani stares at me. my heart thumps as i freeze. matt tries to walk over to me, but its too late, i've already took off in the other direction.

i've found myself in the empty staff bathrooms, hiding in the stalls. matthew wasted my time, i spent half the fucking roadtrip up here comforting him, then he goes and makes out with her a few hours later?

i can't even understand why im feeling like this, why am i so.. jealous?

the door to the bathrooms swing open, probably matt, coming to explain himself.

"hey, come out of the stall please." a female voice calls out, "who's this sorry?" i say, still on the verge of tears.

"danielle."

my breath hitches in my throat, before i swallow hard. "oh." i mumble, unlocking my stall. im met with her face, shes still wearing the same outfit she was wearing while kissing my best friend.

she suddenly interupts my thoughts, "look, i don't know who the fuck you think you are? but don't go snooping into me and matts personal business, unfortunately hes mine." she says while crossing her arms, i scoff.

"funny you say that, because the whole car ride up here matt's been dreading seeing you, his exact words were, 'fucking hate her' so if i were you i'd back away hm?" i say in a 'sympathetic' tone.

she clenches her fist, running her spare hand through her dark brown bob before smashing her fist into the side of my face.

"what the actual fuck!" i yell before jumping at her, throwing her to the floor. the next 5 minutes are a blur of screaming, punching, hair pulling before she gets pulled off of me.

its jessie, the owner of the fucking camp.

she looks pissed.

(15 minutes later)

ive been sitting alone in the nurses office for 10 minutes, its now 11:30pm, i have to be awake in 7 hours for breakfast setup.

the door to the room im in swings open.

its matthew.

"y/n, are you okay? i heard what happened" he says frantically, sititng down on the chair beside the medical bed.

"oh please matt, dont act like you care." i mutter out.

"what?" he says cluelessly.

"look, go find out how danielles doing, oh! or you could fuck her while your there, go back to your cabin with her!" i yell, matts eyes widen as he looks at me.

"we aren't sharing a cabin, im with lincoln, shes with paige." he mumbles as he fidgets with his hands.

i laugh out of disbelief before standing up, pushing past him out of the room im in before swinging open the door to the nurses office.

the cold night air hits my fresh wounds as i approach my cabin, the lights are on inside meaning Xavier is still awake. i swing open the door, xaviers face drops "babe what the fuck happened!" he says, running up to me and hugging me, "danielle happened." i sniff as he lets me go.

"you gotta get some rest, we're helping the kids do kayaking tomorrow okay? gotta be up at 6:30." he whispers, as he pulls the covers down on my bed, letting me crawl in.

(6:30am the next day.)

a loud honk blares through the campsite, before jessie on the megaphone starts "shark counsellers! the shark kids are lined up outside the breakfast hall, go help out in the kitchen"

i groan, my face still throbbing from dani's punches. xaivers sits up in the bed opposite me, "you feeling better.." he says, his voice raspy.

i nod, "mhm, not too excited about dealing with about 25 nine year olds." i mumble getting out of bed "you'll be right, theres 6 of us to control them we'll do it." he says optimistically.

i finish up getting changed, tying my hair into two braids. "you coming?" i say, looking at xaiver over my shoulder.

the hall is only a few hundred meters away from the staff cabins, which is now filled with 200 children. matt and lincoln are walking through the doors, dani and paige follow close behind them, too close for my liking.

i step inside, the smell of oatmeal fills my nose as i look around, theres countless tables filled with friend groups, in the back corner matts sitting alone on the last empty table, picking at his dry toast. i sigh loudly before walking over to him, he looks up at me, his eyes are puffy and red, he looks upset.

i sit down opposite him, his breathing picks up before he starts unannouced,

"dani and i.. have hated eachother since middle school. when i saw you get into your cabin with xavier i got fucking jealous. hate to admit it but i did. while i was walking towards my cabin dani approached me, she started touching up on my arms before pulling me off the path into the bushes. she kissed me, i don't know why i kissed her back, i think it was a jealousy thing, i wanted to get back at you?"

he sighs loudly as silence grows.

"look y/n, i really like you, and-" hes cut off by jessie on her fucking megaphone.

"helloooo campers! this is the first official day of summer camp and here are what each group is doing today!, crabs are doing rock climbing, which means it is mandatory to wear closed toe shoes. Sharks will be doing kayaking, please wear your swimsuit and your counsellers will take you down to the lake!"

i barely take in what jessie says, the only thing i'm thinking about is matt's previous sentence

look y/n i really like you.

look y/n i really like you.

(20 minutes later)

we've been sitting by the lake for a few minutes now, watching the kids attempt to kayak, im wearing a triangle white bikini with daisys printed on it, matt's sitting to my left, his eyes have been on me the whole time.

abrubtly he stands up, looking down at me. "come with me." he demands "huh?"

i stand up anyway, he takes my hand and starts to walk towards a shed, he opens the door and switches on the light. the dim warm lighting fills the room, revealing piles of wetsuits and life jackets.

he turns around and closes the door to the shed, locking it behind him.

he looks me in my eyes, his eyes dart down to my lips. "can i kiss you." matt asks, barely audible.

i gulp before nodding my head.

matt's hand holds my cheek gently before connecting his lips with mine. after a few seconds it turns into a makeout, his veiny hand holding my hair.

he pulls away slowly as his phone lights up, he scrolls through it before letting out a soft laugh "no way" he scoffs, rubbing his eyes.

"tonight were sleeping in the kids hall, like me and you, supervising.."

"you're kidding matt"

"nope, apparently theres a small cabin that connects off the kids hall, its got 1 bed that we share" he laughs

my cheeks flush, sharing a bed with matt, after this?..

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hope you guys liked this, like i said there will be smut in the next part!!

taglist:

@iammattsturniolo @iloveneilperry @tatumrileyslover @chrisstopherfilmed

[parrythisucasual]

no pressure ofc but may i request a jax x reader where the reader is basically a ball jointed doll with some of the parts made of a soft playdoh material that can be shaped? i have no idea if that makes sense lmao. if not feel free to just do a normal bjd! as for story specifics ive been on a hurt/comfort kick tonight so maybe reader has joint pain or smth?

feel free to put your own spin on things! ive loved basically everything ive seen of yours in the jax x reader tag so im sure itll be great.

OKAY I WENT A BIT OVERBOARD AND I ACTUALLY HAD TO CUT IT SHORT DUE TO GOING TO A PARTY. I LOVED WRITING THIS STORY AND IM MORE THAN WILLING TO DO A PART 2 TO END IT A BIT MORE SATIFINGLY

HOPE YOU ENJOY, ANON!!!!

Jax x Doll! Reader

You were tossing and turning in your bed. No matter how you lay, your joint always managed to get caught on your sheets or blankets. It doesn't seem bad, in theory, but it was terribly painful. You finally settle in a spot, sighing happily. 

“SH(boing)T!” you yelp, jerking so hard you nearly fall out of bed. Your knee had pinched the blanket. You throw the sheets off, tears of anger (and probably pain) pricking the corners of your eyes. You swing your legs off the side of the bed, deciding to go for a mid-sleep walk. You’d say midnight, but there isn’t exactly a night here.

Trudging from your room, you walk up the halls. Your joints, your annoying burdens, click with each step. You feel a pang of jealousy; the others in the circus didn’t have any problems with their new bodies. If you really had to be a doll, why couldn’t have you been a plush one, like Ragatha? Instead, you’re stuck with stupid ball joints and silicone. It sucks.

As you pass by his room, you find you’re not alone in your restlessness. The sound is faint, but you can hear the floor creaking in Jax’s room. You pause outside his door, wondering what he could possibly be up to. 

The creaking passes from left to right as if he was simply walking back and forth in his room. As if he was pacing. You frown, debating whether or not you should knock. Maybe something was bothering him?

You shake your head, turning away. Jax wouldn’t talk to you, what are you thinking? You’d ask him if hes okay and he’d gaslight you into thinking he’d been asleep, into thinking you’d interrupted his night. He wasn’t the kind of guy to admit to his problems, not the type to care about yours.

You start up the hall once more, mind settling on the digital lake. At very least you could relax to the Lake_Ambiance.mp3 and watch the digital water move.

Crack

You let out a sharp yell, falling to the ground. Your knee had locked up, twisting at just the right angle the joint wouldn’t move anymore. God, it felt just like a sprained ankle. You hiss, gripping your knee in your hands. The tears really do come now, rolling down your cheeks in an oddly realistic fashion for this digital realm. Well, at least your night couldn’t get any worse.

“What, you forgot how to walk or something?” Dear god, it got worse. You glance behind you, the familiar smug grin staring you in the face. Jax’s confidence falters, very plainly, when he sees your tears. He raised a brow, “Oh, come on, you just fell. Are the waterworks really necessary?”

You try to stretch your knee out, yelping when it doesn’t budge, “It’s not just a fall you ignorant little- AUGH!” you give up trying to move your leg, resolving to simply lean back, giving yourself room to breathe.

Jax trots over, bending down and inspecting your knee, “How’d you manage this?” he reaches out and your stomach drops, “No, don’t!” He freezes, the surprise plain on his face, “Why not? I can snap it back into place easy as-”

“You stupid rabbit, it hurts!” you practically wail. He sits back, “Don’t be stupid, (Y/N), we’re digital now. Can’t get hurt. Can’t die.”

You turn your face away from him, growling slightly, “Clearly, I’m different. Not like you’d care, right? Too busy shoving your head up your own a(honk).” Jax doesn’t react to this, much to your surprise. Instead, he silently stands up, walking up the hall, one hand on his hip.

“Wait, where are you going? Jax?” you regret what you said immediately, you really didn’t want to be alone with this right now. “You won’t let me help you, I’m going to find Caine.”

“You’re… huh?” you blink, confused. Jax shrugs, “If it hurts that bad, why would I leave you like that?” You aren’t sure whether or not he really was going to find Caine, but with the lack of arrogance about him, you decide to trust him, “Alright… thank you.”

He doesn’t respond, merely gives a dorky salute as he rounds the corner. As the minutes pass, you begin to wonder whether or not you should have believed him. Just as you were about to give up hope, Caine appeared at the end of the hall, flanked by Jax.

“Oh, dear, oh dear! Would you look at that!” Caine’s annoying grandeur made your head hurt, but you couldn’t have been more relieved. With a simple snap of his fingers, your leg righted itself without pain. “Now then, anything else I can do for you, my dear (Y/N)?” the eccentric ringleader asked. You shake your head, a relieved sigh escaping from your chest.

“Excellent! Well, off to bed with you!” he zipped back into the air, “I was busy, after all.” Caine darted away, leaving you alone with Jax once more. He seemed off, not grinning as he usually did. You’re not sure what to say, until-

“Are you okay now?” he asks, looking anywhere but your face. “Um… yeah, now I am,” you start to sit up, and Jax rushes to your side, grabbing your hand and practically lifting you to your feet himself. “Are… you okay?” you ask, “you’re acting way different.”

Jax finally looks at you, “Why wouldn’t you tell anyone you were in pain? Are you really that thick? Any of us would’ve helped you! Any of us would be there for you!” he snapped, seemingly angry you’d hidden this.

“I… I didn’t want to burden anyone…” you admit, a bit shocked. “Burden us? Are you kidding?” his voice grew louder, making you wince, “you think your health is a burden? You moron, you’re-” he stopped suddenly, noticing your expression.

“I-I’m sorry… I-I…” He sighed, interrupting your shaky apology, “Next time, come to me. Okay? I don’t want to see you get hurt. (Y/N)...” he hesitated, “I just… I really care about you. Please, don’t hesitate to tell me you’re in pain.” He gathered himself, then placed a quick kiss on your forehead before darting into his room with a final, “Night.”

[sweetsimp]

Dark Photographs || Obey Me x Reader -- Part One [Lucifer]

TW!!! Please read the warnings before proceeding.

A/N: HELLOOOOO sorry for the delay, ive been super busy with all of these classes, I havent been able to work on dark photographs. I WAS IN SIX COLLEGE CLASSES AHHHHHHHHHH also haha what if i opened up my tips..................... would you guys.... wanna... um... 

ANYWAY I ALSO FINISHED RAINCOODEEEEE I FINISHED IT AND IT WAS AMAZING and if you dont know what that is uhhhhhhhhhh GO FIND OUT AHHHHHHHHH i might also write raincode stuff.................

also sorry?? for taking so long?? Ive been trying to get used to this move and i finally pushed myself to stop putting this off, but I WAS WRITING IT IN A SEPERATE APP CAUSE TUMBLR KEPT NOT SAVING MY WORK and then it just pasted as one whole paragraph and fixing it was the only proofreading that i did (clown honk) 

Warnings: dark themes, kidnapping, threats, angst, angst, angst, assault, use of dr*gs, fighting, mention of not-alive, etc.

EXTRA WARNING this shit made me cry WHILE I WAS WRITING IT proceed at your own RISk

-- word count for imagine: 2257 (give or take a few maybe)                                                 

Lucifer

Sometimes he had his moments where he got on your nerves. 

You get into an argument but he always makes it up to you.He'd always find a way to get under your skin, especially with the fact that he was basically the embodiment of Pride and the dictionary definition of a workaholic. He could spend hours trapped in his office, surrounded by mountain piles of paperwork, but only minutes with you. 

The problem was, he seemed perfectly content with that, and it bothered you.

Now, you were kidnapped and had no way of knowing how he actually cared about you and especially in the ways that mattered most. It secretly tortured him that you could've died thinking that you were the least important thing in his life. 

Was that his fault? Was he to blame? 

He almost found it humorous how much he had been torturing himself, especially because he always had full confidence that he would solve the issue no problem, and everything would go back to the way it was. He forgot how fragile humans were until now. Of course, anyone that wasn't Lucifer seemed almost fragile in comparison to the Avatar of Pride, but you were a whole different thing. 

You were his human. 

It wasn't a lie when he said he was confident he would find you, but what he didn't know was if it'd be too late or not. He didn’t know what to do. 

Were you devoured immediately or tortured? If you had been alive still, why hadn't you summoned him? What was he going to say once he found you? 

The fire let out a loud crackle noise, interrupting his thoughts. He stopped in his tracks and sat down for a moment while resting his head on his hands with his elbows propped on his desk. He closed his eyes as small strands of hair tickled his skin and fell in front of his face. Shadows danced around the room to hide from the fire's burning light. 

Why didn't they tell anyone where they were going? Why didn't they ask anyone to accompany them? The most likely possibilities had been work or shopping. They wouldn't go with any random demon that asked them to follow their lead, and especially if no one he trusted was with them. Why were they alone? 

Knock! Knock! Knock!

Lucifer lifted his head immediately. "Come in."

Mammon hesitantly walked in, dipping his head in first before pulling the rest of his body into the room to face his older brother. It was strange to see his predictable behavior get washed away in a matter of seconds, but it was a relief for Lucifer that he had one less thing to worry about. 

Mammon's otherwise mischievous tone and behavior dissipated even when he spoke. "We confirmed that uh… the human was workin' right before they disappeared. Thought ya might wanna-" Lucifer didn't let Mammon finish, standing up immediately to grab his coat and make a beeline for the door. "Are the others already investigating?"

Mammon nodded. 

It was strange how much fear could affect even demons, especially because of the effect you truly had on them. It could've been possible that they were equally as afraid of what Lucifer would do if he lost you. It would've destroyed him, and they knew that the façade he would put up wouldn't be able to convince his brothers otherwise. 

"Where?"

Mammon didn't hesitate to give Lucifer a slip of paper with the details, which Lucifer had basically ripped out of his younger brother's hand. Without saying another word, the Avatar of Pride dragged his brother out the door and let go once it had closed and locked immediately. Lucifer wouldn't have cared if Mammon went or stayed. All that mattered to him was finding you. Maybe he spent too long looking at your room or thinking too hard about your whereabouts alone in his office, creating a pattern in the floor with his constant pacing. 

Either way, his vision seemed to have cut in and out with anger and worry-- but before he knew it, he was already there. 

He was going to find you. 

"This was found in the trash," Beelzebub spoke, handing over a ripped up picture that had been pieced back together. "There's two different traces on here. One of them is MC, but…"

"I know where to go." Lucifer spoke, "I'll deal with it. Just gather the others."

"Are you sure-"

With just the power of his glare alone, Beelzebub stopped mid-sentence and just nodded.

 --------------------------------------------------

Click! Click! 

"Before you go, I want to try and take as many photos as possible." The photographer spoke, "I could make millions with even just one photo. I can't imagine how rich and powerful I'll be with a hundred of them."

The photographer put his camera down again for what felt like the millionth time. The soft clanking noise made you feel only a small drop of relief, but it also filled you with dread because of what would follow after: More adjusting. Brighter lights. Different music. More clicking. More adjusting. Dimmer lights. 

Silence. 

It was nauseating, but none of it came even close to what that monster did to keep you under his control. It felt disgusting. Demoralizing. 

What was the point in fighting? Why were you trying to hard to think of the words, when this was a deserved ending for a sad, pathetic human? 

The anger and sadness had been building up with no possible way to get out, and you would die before it ever would. It would die with all of the other feelings you kept inside. The other truths you tried so hard to protect-- from the others and even yourself. Maybe they werent truths at all, just things you tortured yourself with that you believed so hard to be the truth that anything else seemed almost absurd and unrealistic. It gave you a false sense of hope that there was any chance of redemption for all the things that made you feel sick inside.

When the anger, the sadness, and the guilt proved to be too much, it made the tears fall faster than you could have ever expected.

Click! Click! Click!

"Oh my god! That's absolutely perfect. You're an amazing model." The photographer breathed, "If Lucifer and the others weren't a problem, I could sit here for all of eternity taking these beautiful shots of your purity. Your soul. It's too hard to resist. Human emotions are so complicated, aren't they? You must feel so awful about yourself."

Click! 

"So pathetic."

Click!

"Worthless."

Click!

"But it's deserved and you must know that, but I mean…" The demon said in a hushed, soothing voice. "It's not like anyone will ever get to understand how you feel. You'll die before then. Alone."

He just kept talking. You wanted him to stop.

"Lucifer probably makes you feel worthless, huh? Like you don't matter. I get it. He's so obsessed with his paperwork, isn't he?  Never makes time for anyone or anything else. You're just more work." The demon spoke, "I'll bet he's taking his sweet time finding you cause he doesn't want the wait the next few decades waiting for your timer to run out. Anything else is just for the sake of Diavolo's dream."

He paused, looking at the photos before speaking again. "I know them better than you think you know them. Demons are malicious and deceiving, and anything they show you is to give you a sense of security. The truth is, you're nothing more than just a sad, weak, human."

Please stop.

"All you want is Lucifer's touch, right? You're addicted to it. That's why you can't leave. He waves his demon charm at you. One magic trick and you fall in love all over again. You eat up his dominance and power over you because it makes you feel even more special that he's one of the most powerful demons here and he chose you."

Make it stop. 

"And all of that makes you feel just a little less awful about yourself for being the only human who can't be trusted by themself. It makes you feel better about yourself, with this fake illusion of power that you have over these people who never needed you. Even after your time runs out, they won't care."

Please stop. Please stop. Please stop. Please stop. Please stop. Please stop. Please stop. Please stop. Please stop. Please stop. Please stop.

"There we go," He hummed in a sick and twisted kind of satisfaction. "That's what real emotion looks like. That's the hundredth picture. That's how easy it is to break a human. I can see it in your eyes." 

Cli-

Actually, no. There had been no click this time.

You couldn't blink away the tears fast enough to find the source of the loud, shattering noise and the sounds of metal clashing against the ground in pieces with pieces of glass scattered amongst the scraps. A flash of black and red made the photographer disappear. 

You heard a familiar voice behind you with the sound of someone being slammed against the wall. 

"There's a reason why demons like you are at the bottom." Lucifer snarled. 

His voice sent shivers down your spine. There had been so much pain buried deep under his own rage. 

"It's because you're all so incredibly humiliating. Did you honestly think you could get away with this?" Lucifer let out a low chuckle. "After you're imprisoned for the rest of eternity, I promise I'll make it even more unbearable than the things that keep you up at night."

BAM!

You winced, not wanting to know the source of that noise. A gentle gust of air pushed your locks of hair forward, making it sway and fall back into place right before he undid your binds and pulled you to him in one single motion. He didn't hesitate.

"I love you." He spoke, "Please forgive me, my dear. I was… I was so incredibly worried about you. I took too long to come to your side."

It was all too much. You didn't know when you started to cry, but it all came rushing out. There was no possibility of stopping. There was no chance of hiding the pain anymore once his warmth filled in the cracks that the photographer had almost permanently left you with before his inevitable demise. 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." You sobbed, "I tried so hard. I just want you to be happy, but I can't do anything. I'm a human. I'm just another responsibility and you deserve so much more than that-"

Lucifer took your chin gently but quickly, clashing his lips against yours in a desperate and passionate way to prove just how much you meant to him. He knew that he couldn't heal all of your wounds as quickly as he would've hoped, but he would give up everything he had just to try. 

He held you close, wrapping his arms tenderly around your waist. Despite how soft he was with you, he held you in a way that made you feel like he was never going to let go. He loved you more than anything, and his comforting presence alone made the photographer's words meaningless. 

Lucifer wasn't just the Avatar of Pride when he was with you. He was just Lucifer. He was just someone who put his walls up high around everybody but you. He was someone who melted under your touch, even if he pretended to only be one of the most powerful demons in the devildom in front of others. You saw the soft side of him that he had kept hidden for centuries. 

He pulled away, resting his head on your shoulder. "It doesn't matter to me that you're human. You're perfect to me. You did everything right, MC. I don't want you to ever have a single thought in your mind that any of this is your fault, or that you feel guilty about a burden on my shoulders that never existed at all. You're the only person I've felt this strongly about, MC. I mean that." He spoke, "You're good enough for me, even if you may not always feel that way. There's no one else in this entire universe that could ever come close to how I feel about you. You're what I think about after a long day of work. I think of you when I wake up. I think of you during the day, when I'm working. I'm confident I'll prove that to you, MC. You deserve all of that and more."

"Let's go away for a while, okay?" He whispered in your ear. "Just you and me. No paperwork. No pictures. No anything. I want to spend the rest of eternity making it up to you… but since we don't have an eternity, I'm confident I could do it in the time we have, MC."

You nodded, letting the tears continue to fall freely down your face. This time, it had been out of the love you shared with Lucifer rather than the pain of your kidnapper's words alone. You endured so much, but deep down you knew Lucifer would keep all of his promises. Even if it wasn't out of the love he had for you, he wouldn't have let himself be known as someone who couldn't keep his word. 

But he loved you, and that was the only reason you needed.

[soothinglee]

intoxicated romance in paris

summary: after taras party, everyone left leaving you drunk and very sleepy, luckily someone came in to check on you on a beautiful night in paris.

warnings: mentions of being sick, drunk-heavy-ish fic.

authors note: sorry i've been gone for a little bit, school started and ive been busy- plus i've had little motivation. but i am back! i have another tao request coming up so hopefully i'll have that done by the weekend. requests are open!ಇ

inspiration: impossible - wasia project | time machine - willow

pairing: tao xu x reader (no pronouns specified. though reader is mentioned to go to higgs.)

masterlist | request

you could honestly kill darcy right now. it’s not like she did anything intentionally illegal but stealing a bottle of vodka and pouring it down each party goers throat; it catered to the massive headache stirring in your head.

everyone had departed to mr. ajays room to take care of her after she felt sick. you lay limp and alone in the hotel room. party streamers and confetti lie around your body like an outline, balloon slowly fall to the ground after hours of stillness and lack of oxygen. there was a soft purple glow of the beautiful paris street lights from below, and you can faintly hear the honking of cars on the road- all going to unique locations.

as much as you tried to roll over to check the time on your phone you find yourself still. fatigue from exhaustion creek in your bones, making the nauseous feeling creeping up push forward. at the sudden sickness you throw yourself forward and try to stabilize yourself on the knitted sheets.

behind the thoughts of trying to keep the sick in you didn't even realize that someone had knocked on the door until that person had turned the handle with a click, the noise echoing throughout the empty room.

"hello hello?" the voice called out, growing nearer. when there was no response they speak again, "hello?"

the only response you could give back was a disgruntled grunt.

"[y/n]?" the boys voice questions, rounding the corner of the entrance way to see you hunched over ontop of the bed. you hadn't known but your hair was sticking up in several places and the crocheted sweater that you wore was hanging off your shoulder on one side. he huffs out a laugh and nears you. "you alright?"

again a grunt.

he lays his phone on the nightstand next to the bed and kneels down next to you, "you look sick, did you drink too much?"

"i'm going to hurt darcy, respectfully." the words come out in broken pieces, but behind the words was a little lighthearted humor. deep down you knew she meant well but oh my god this feeling is gross.

"well don't hurt her too much, she already got sick in mr. farouks' bed. the look on his face could've killed her alone." tao shakes his head at the thought and reaches up to smooth down the back of your head. the feeling of his hand on your hair ignited something warm in you.

you decided it was just because you were drunk.

"did she actually?"

"oh yeah," he laughs lightly and goes to fix your clothes, "she looked like she was going to pee herself, he kicked all of them out."

confusion passes over you, "then where are they?" you were still in their rooms and it's been a good 30 minutes since they last were here.

tao hums and picks at his nails, "they decided to have a sleep over in imogens room, she's only with one other person but her roommate wanted to hangout in her friends room for the night."

you nod and look off but then direct your attention back to him, "wait," you watch as he glances at you then diverts his attention back to his hands, "then why are you here?"

as a reminder, tao jerks up and starts throwing around blankets and items on the other nightstand in a haphazard manner, "oh- yeah, well um- tara had asked me to come back and look for her phone because she needed to text her mom goodnight," he then adds a "yeah." at the end as if he's trying to convince himself of his own words.

while you watch him practically destroy the room your face goes blank with realization, "tao." he hums in acknowledgment but his movements don't cease, "taras' phone isn't in here, she took it with her when she left the party with everyone. and even if you called it it would've rang on this bed," you make your point by slamming a finger into the sheets, "because this is where she was sitting all night."

as if being caught red-handed, tao slowly stands up, the pillow falling from his hands slowly, "oh." was the only thing that came out.

pushing past the fatigue you swing your legs over the edge of the bed so your feet was mere inches from his legs, "so tell me the truth," you huffs out a short breath, "why are you really here? was it to check up on me?" you remark sarcastically. you know it's probably not the truth but hope dances on your tongue tastefully.

quite surprisingly, he nods his head. "i knew you were alone so i figured i'd check in, make sure you didn't spit up on yourself or something." in other words, i cared enough to go out of my way away from the others to make sure you weren't dead.

again, another wave of confusion, "but why?"

tao groans playfully and body flops on the bed, his hair splayed out around his head like a halo, "why are you so coherent, you're supposed to be drunk!"

a slurred giggle escapes you, "oh trust me, i feel just as bad as i look. i just didn't have as much as the other." you pause and hiccup, "can i ask another question?"

"[y/n]-? and i mean this lightheartedly, all you do is ask questions." but he makes a gesture with his hands as if to give the go ahead.

you lean in and whisper, "why are you still here?" a playful smile twitches at your lips. he lifts his head up to look at you, his hair falling in his eyes.

tao rolls his eyes and copy's your position, the beds were close to eachother so the two of you were inches from touching knees. he takes a look at you and you cower a little under his gaze, but not too much. tao goes to speak but stops himself, you lightly kick his leg in encouragement, "because i want to be near you."

that nearly winds you- feeling a little appreciation for being intoxicated because without it as a cover the red huge on your cheeks would be a give away.

you look away from him and towards the balcony, the door open to it let a soft breeze float through the room. you suddenly want to be out there. so without a response towards his comment you reach out your arms towards tao and silently point towards the doors.

he seems a little sad at the conversation change but obliges, "what? you want to go outside?"

you nod feeling a little sicker than before, "wanna see the Eiffel Tower." he nods and takes your hands in his, gently hoisting you up into his arms. his warm body heat makes you feel sleepy, and the over whelming feelings all at once doesn't even let you register that you were holding his hands, let alone in his arms.

slowly but surely he turns you around so your back is to his chest and he carries you on his toes to the balcony. it takes a while because every step he takes you loose your balance and have to regain it.

as you take a step outside a wave of fresh dew air hits you and at the feeling you close your eyes and lean back into tao. he chuckles at the action.

being outside at night, being in paris- an unfamiliar but welcoming presence, being with, no, against tao, especially alone for the first time in the 6 years you've been friends, this could be the best night ever.

the feeling is all too sentimental, whether it's the alcohol doing it's damage or being in the city of love you can't help but sigh and look up at tao with big bright eyes. it takes him a moment because like you too, he was watching the city come alive, and as you make eye contact he smiles with hesitancy, "what?"

it had been clear as day for the longest time but for some reason, right here right now, despite what everyone has been telling you, you had liked him too. it just took you now to figure it out. you lean against him once more and let out a deep sigh,

"i like being near you too."

thanks for readingಇ

[orbleglorb]

textposts as blaseball players

all art by sky, taken from the miniblaseball site

photos below the cut (because there's a lot of them) along with image ids :)

ID: textpost from sawtual that has been edited to be about/from jessica telephone. it says "im sick to death of the girlboss phenomenom. appreciate strugglewomen or we'll never get anything done around here. no more 'she's the only braincell of the group'. i want more women who fail at tasks that are unimaginable to fail at. we need more pathetic wet meow meows who are women. literally open your heart to strugglewomen because they're all we have left in this fucked up world." /end ID

ID: textpost from lizardsister that says "bad news fellas, just got word from the boss, he says no more kissing each other on the job." the san francisco lovers logo has been edited on. the logo was designed by Lucacrafts on twitter. /end ID

ID: textpost by ainti-pretty that has been edited to be from thomas dracena. the post says "garlic is the most evil fucking thing on planet earth. that and silver." ainti-pretty reblogged their post with a screenshot of someone else's tag that says "how do you feel about sunlight btw just curious," and ainti-pretty says "not that it's any of your business, but it hurts real bad :(" /end ID

ID: a conversation between firefox-official and lunasilverpelt, edited to be a conversation between val hitherto and stijn strongbody, respectively. the post says firefox-official: "this user just stole a priceless piece of art." lunasilverpelt: "Is there something you want to tell the police?" firefox-official: "This user has nothing he wants to tell the police." /end ID

ID: pukicho answering an ask from fxcelesslunar, edited to be socks maybe answering an ask from tillman henderson. the ask says "why does your description say lovable?" and the response says "look at me!!!!" /end ID

ID: a post from jame7t edited to be about ankle halifax and ivy mason (aka wyatt mason IV). the post says, "hey girl do you want to hang out later and hit me as hard as you can with a baseball bat?" /end ID

ID: a post from memorycycle that says "(honk at pretty lady on the sidewalk) hey :smirking emoji: wanna see me drive straight into that brick wall?" below the original post is a note added by me (orbleglorb) that says "she doesn't have a mini, but this would be juke gnocchi if he could drive." /end ID

ID: a post from puplov that has been edited to be from parker macmillan prime. the post says "when i was bornt i came outta my mom sizzling like a fajita." /end ID

ID: a post from wizard-council-bureaucrat that has been edited to be from manu candle. the post says "the cure to your bloodline curse (dehydration) is this one fucked up magical potion trick (8oz of water)." the tags say "your ancestors were also dehydrated, they just died about it tho." /end ID.

[askpepandgus]

Hey Peppino have you ever met Shaggy and Scooby Doo?

P- A couple of-a times… sure…”

ALSO I AM SO SORRY FOR NOT POSTING IVE BEEN BUSY WITH SCHOOL AND SHIT AND IT GAS BEEN DRAINING ME TO MY CORE… - Honk

[possibly-in-wonderland]

Boromir and his chaotic hobbit wife #2

(still thinking of a name for her, im considering either magnolia or myrtle...anyway...here's more! once again, this features other members of the fellowship)

~~~~~

Hobbitess: Don't ask me what I'm talking about. I don't know, okay? I'm just the vessel. The message has been gifted. I've moved on.

~~~~~

Hobbitess: Okay, truth or dare? Boromir: Truth Hobbitess: How many hours have you slept this week? Boromir: Boromir: ...Dare Hobbitess: Go to bed. Boromir: I don't like this game.

~~~~~

Boromir: This is such a bad idea. Hobbitess: Then why are you coming along? Boromir: One of us needs to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

~~~~~

Hobbitess: I prevented a murder today. Boromir: Really? How'd you do that? Hobbitess: self control.

~~~~~

Hobbitess: I am an expert at identifying birds. Boromir: Okay, what about those ones flying over there? Hobbitess: Yeah, they're all birds.

(honestly that one could go either way lmfao)

~~~~~

Boromir: Is something burning? Hobbitess: Just my love for you. Boromir: love, the toaster is on fire.

~~~~~

Hobbitess: Change is inedible. Boromir: Don't you mean inevitable? Hobbitess, spitting out coins: No, I did not.

~~~~~

Boromir: You're giving me a sticker? Hobbitess: Not just a sticker.That is a sticker of a kitty saying “me- wow!” Boromir: I'm not a preschooler. Hobbitess: Fine, I'll take it back Boromir: I earned this, back off!

~~~~~

Boromir: Dumbest scar stories, go! Hobbitess: I burned my tongue once drinking tea. Merry: I dropped a pan on my leg once and burned it. Pippin: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade. Sam: I was taking a pot of noodles off of the stove and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn. Frodo: Frodo: I have emotional scars.

~~~~~

Hobbitess: Rules are made to be broken. Boromir: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken. Merry: Uh, piñatas. Pippin: Glow sticks. Sam: Karate boards. Frodo: Spaghetti when you have a small pot. Hobbitess: Rules. Boromir:

(*grumbles in italian about spaghetti*)

~~~~~

Hobbitess: Bye Boromir! Bye Gandalf! Bye Gimli! Bye Aragorn! Bye Boromir! Pippin: You said ‘bye Boromir’ twice. Hobbitess: I like Boromir.

~~~~~

Hobbitess: Pippin, can I talk to you for a second? Pippin: Yeah, what’s up? Lemme guess. You and Boromir are having problems and you want me to teach you how to kiss? Hobbitess: What? No, stop that. I know how to kiss. I’ve read books.

~~~~~

(modern au)

Boromir: Hobbitess and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us Aragorn: *Sighing* What did Hobbitess do? Boromir: They chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and... Hobbitess: Who wants a steering wheel?

~~~~~

Hobbitess, after Boromir's death: ive come to a point in my life where i need a stronger word than "fuck"

~~~~~

fair warning, these next few will probably be spicy

~~~~~

Hobbitess: Well, Boromir and I finally did it! The rest of the squad: *gasps, shocked expressions, etc.* Hobbitess: That's right... We kissed!

~~~~~

Boromir: I feel like doing something stupid. Hobbitess: I’m stupid, do me.

~~~~~

Boromir: What are you in the mood for? Hobbitess: World domination. Boromir: That's a bit ambitious. Hobbitess: You are my world. Boromir: Aww... Hobbitess: Boromir: Hobbitess: Boromir: OH.

~~~~~

Boromir: Sorry I’m late, I was doing things. Hobbitess: Hi, I’m ‘things’.

~~~~~

Hobbitess: I like your new pants! Boromir: Thanks, they were 50% off! Hobbitess: I’d like them better if they were 100% off. *winks* Boromir: The store can’t just give away clothes for free. Hobbitess: Thats’s… not what I meant. Boromir: That’s a terrible way to run a business, Hobbitess.

~~~~~

Hobbitess: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out? Boromir: ...Have you never taken a shower before?

~~~~~

Hobbitess: It'll be fun. Hobbitess: We'll make a day of it. Hobbitess: Come on you punk bitch. Boromir: I can't believe I have to say this. Boromir: I don't have time to get tested for sti's with you tomorrow.

~~~~~

Hobbitess: *banging a pen on the table out of frustration* Boromir: Stop that. How would YOU feel if I banged you on the table? Hobbitess: I— Hobbitess: I don’t know the correct answer to that question.

~~~~~

Boromir: Wow, Hobbitess, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you. Hobbitess: We literally slept together yesterday. Boromir: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

~~~~~

alright, back to non-spicy stuff

~~~~~

Hobbitess: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy. Boromir: I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep. Hobbitess: I said within reason, Boromir. How about I murder that guy? Boromir: So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't? Hobbitess: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?

~~~~~

Hobbitess: I got us matching friendship bracelets, and you say I don't care about our relationship. Boromir: These are handcuffs. Hobbitess: Yeah, 'cause we're partners in crime!

~~~~~

Boromir: You have to apologize to them Hobbitess. Hobbitess: Fine! But I must warn you that this might make me a better, nicer person and that is NOT the person you fell in love with!

~~~~~

Pippin: Where did you get that tomato soup? Hobbitess: It’s actually a bowl of ketchup I just microwaved.

~~~~~

Pippin: My head hurts. Gandalf: That’s your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity.

~~~~~

Gimli: Did you ever have like a pet run away and find it or anything? Hobbitess: I had a lizard that I burnt.

~~~~~

Hobbitess: *Hugs Boromir from behind* Hobbitess: *Tucks Boromir's hair behind his ear* Hobbitess, whispering: Eat all the frosted animal crackers again and they'll never find your body.

~~~~~

Boromir: This is a bad idea. Hobbitess: Then why are you coming along? Boromir: Someone has to get your injured ass home.

~~~~~

Boromir to Hobbitess: Turn that frown upside-down! *a little while later* Boromir: What are you doing? Hobbitess, trying to do a handstand: You told me to “turn that frown upside-down” but it’s not working .

~~~~~

[hellcatchvalley]

my feelings are gonna get so hurt this thursday and if it turns out ive been honking my clown nose for two weeks straight imma need everyone to mind their business. respectfully

[sleepysheepytea]

just watched howl’s moving castle for the first time and it blew interstellar out of the water for the weirdest movie ive ever seen

but i love howl and i want someone to tickle him

just a sketch this time cuz ive been so honking busy recently

[rphelperblog]

Gilmore Girls Quote RP Meme

requested by the lovely writer and person @offorester

"I'm afraid that once your heart's involved, it all comes out in moron."

"Well, you know my babbling capabilities are infinite."

"This town is like one big outpatient mental institution."

"Reality has no place in our world!"

“I live in two worlds, one is a world of books.”

"It’s all any of us wants, to find a nice person to hang out with ‘til we drop dead."

"Breathe in, folks. Smells like Fall."

"Why did you drop out of Yale?!"

"Every day that you breathe, you make my life harder."

"People are particularly stupid today, I can't talk to any more of them."

"It’s all any of us wants: to find a nice person to hang out with till we drop dead.

"If you're going to throw your life away, he better have a motorcycle!"

"It's a show?" "It's a lifestyle. It's a religion."

"I'm fine. I'm just being dramatic. It's what I do."

"You can use your mother's old golf clubs. They're upstairs, gathering dust, with the rest of her potential."

“And if eating cake is wrong, I don’t want to be right.”

"You're going to kiss me now? So incredibly predictable."

"Are you ever gonna ask me out? You flirt with me. You act like you like me."

"I just take a book with me everywhere. It's a habit."

"You're a book tease."

"You've got such a great brain!"

“A little nervous breakdown can work wonders for a girl.”

"People can live a hundred years without really living for a minute."

"Coffee, please, and a shot of cynicism."

"Life's short. Talk fast."

"It's not too much food. This is what we've been training for our whole lives. This is our destiny. This is our finest hour."

"I don't know if she ever realized the person I most wanted to be was her."

“I hate when I’m an idiot and don’t know it. I like being aware of my idiocy.”

"Because I love you, you idiot!!"

"I want to live my life so I can read an in-depth biography about myself in later years."

"It’s times like these that you realize what is truly important in your life."

“I need coffee in an IV.”

"Well, if you expect that muffin to fly back to the kitchen by itself you better go get it a cape."

“You have to sleep, it’s what keeps you pretty.”

"I am attracted to pie, but I do not feel the need to date pie."

"Every relationship is just a big honking leap of faith."

"I have liked you for some time now and I don't think this feeling is going to go away."

"It’s just my favorite time of year. The whole world changes color.”

“Everything’s magical when it snows.”

"Oh my gosh, he kissed me."

"I love you, you idiot."

"It is what it is. You, me."

"No men. Just lots and lots of Chinese food."

"It was a great kiss. If one of us had been a frog, it would have had some seriously impressive consequences."

"But marriage is not about always being happy. It's about compromise."

"The Long Island Ice Tea makes you do things you normally wouldn’t do."

"This thing we're doing here -- me, you -- I just want you know I'm in. I'm all in."

"God, that's terrible. It's like drinking a My Little Pony.""Yeah, I'm fine, I'm great. It's a big, fat, happy sunshine day for me."

"You know what I just realized? Oy is the funniest word in the entire world."

"You gotta realize the only way out is in a body bag."

"I'm attracted to pie. It doesn't mean I feel the need to date pie."

"You've got to be patient and wait for what you want to appear, then pounce."

"It's always best to tell each other major life events, so there's no awkwardness."

"You have to tell me why we're committing a felony before we do it."

“Yes, I left behind a glass slipper and a business card … just in case the prince is really dumb.”

"Every relationship is just a big honking leap of faith."

this thing we're doing here, me, you. I just wanted you to know I'm in. I am all in."

"Having babies doesn't mean you can't be rock and roll!"

“I cannot do this alone, I need my mommy and I don’t care who knows it.”

"I'll help you shower when I become a superhero."

"Relationships need verbs."

"If you're going to throw your life away he better have a motorcycle!!"

“You’ve got such a great brain!”

"Mom, you've given me everything I need."

“I’m fine. I’m just being dramatic. It’s what I do.”

"We're almost there & nowhere near it. All that matters is that we're going!"

"I had a meeting at the bank earlier, they like callers."

"I smell snow."

"Oy with the poodles already!"

“Nothing says coffee like six in the morning!”

“Mom, you’ve given me everything I need.”

"You gotta realize the only way out is in a body bag."

“There’s plenty to do tonight that we can be mortified about tomorrow.”

“I’m going to have to quit drinking coffee! And I love coffee — I really love coffee!”

“I need caffeine. Whatever form you’ve got it. I haven’t had any all day. I’ll drink it, shoot it, eat it, snort it, whatever form it’s in, gimme.”

"People can live a hundred years without really living for a minute. You climb up here with me, it's one less minute you haven't lived."

"It's club soda,."

"Oh God, I hope nothing's happened to him. You get so attached to their little faces, sometimes you can hear them talk to you at night."

"My books look sad. Can books look sad?"

"I'm here because I enjoy books, and because I read books."

"Gnome kicking says a lot about a man's character."

"No, it's National Baptism Day. Tie your tubes, idiot!"

"Excuse me. There is a phone call for you and if I'm to fetch you like a dog then I'd like a cookie and a raise."

"Then give me a boa and drive me to rino because I'm open for business!"

"Oh, people die, we pay. People crash a car, we pay. People lose a foot, we pay."

"Cranking Metallica. Is that some sort of drug reference, it's not funny."

"Really? You can see the driveway with your head way up in the air like that?"

"Tell her I gotta take another crack at that closet. I think I hung my Tool t-shirt next to my Metallica t-shirt and they don't really get along."

"I gotta tell you, out of all the nutty barn-raising shindigs this town can cook up, this one wasn't half bad."

"Oh, do you see the books? Feel it. Feels good, right? Now smell it. Nothing, nothing smells like that."

"We could go to a bookstore, I'll watch you browse for six or seven hours."

"Coffee, please, and a shot of cynicism."

"I can't believe we get to sit around and talk about books and get graded."

"We're almost there & nowhere near it. All that matters is that we're going!"

"I don't like Mondays but unfortunately they come around eventually."

“I’m not broken. Maybe just a little chipped.”

“There’s plenty to do tonight that we can be mortified about tomorrow.”

“I can go from zero to studying in less than 60 seconds!”

“Oh, I can’t stop drinking the coffee. I stop drinking the coffee, and I stop doing the standing, walking, and words putting into sentence doing.”

"If it was physically possible to make love to a hot beverage, this would be the one.”

"Give me a burger, onion rings, and a list of people who killed their parents and got away with it. I need some heroes."

"Who cares if I'm pretty if I fail my finals."

"I can be flexible, as long as everything is exactly the way I want it."

"Oh yeah, I've got gold stars plastered all over my forehead."

"Well, I'll bring dick up on the internet and see what comes up."

[he-tea-lia]

If alfred were on onlyfans id literally go into debt. Also if he were alive id become a federal servant or like FBI to follow him around more discreetly. I love him, his ass is so phat. But also i wanted to thank you for creating this confessional, it was a real comfort and source of joy in covid. But like lemme SNARFLE that ass. lemme BUSY my nose in that THICC ass. Lemme HONK the fuck outta those bahonkerdonkeradoos and dress him in his DUSTIEST stash of vintage clothing (we thinkin pantaloons?) And ive been reading a lot of stuff about naval things and i had a clam showder bread bowl and made some BANGIN burgers tonight for the fam ❤️

god you're so welcome, it was a comfort + source of joy for me too! covid and/or lockdown was a weird fucking time. anyway you know what sup on his clam fucking chowder ass or whatever. smash those patties. yum yum amirite

[clownistyping]

Y-you alive??

Whose askin

[blondbirb]

is birb finally writingg for fun again ?? thats such a rare sight

[imisswonho]

hey quick psa; please be kind to people!!! it really doesn’t cost u anything to be nice to others!! even the slightest gesture of kindness can really make someone’s day n i know not everyone is a ray of sunshine every single day but if u can, please remember to show some compassion!!!! don’t be that asshole!!!