#ive been finishing all my projects later than i wanted

[typheus]

anyways the projects i have next are :

1 my sisters blanket (is halfway done)

2 the skirt (idk how many rows this’ll take so im gonna do 50 for now)

3 the tablerunner (is halfway done)

once i finish the tablerunner im gonna finish the skirt. then its onto the next ‘set’ of projects i wanted to finish this year 👍😌✌️

[icewindandboringhorror]

[imnotasuperhero]

Look into my eyes (search your soul)

Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Summary: Your love for Wanda could make you go the distance and more, just to see her happy. 

A/N: I honestly don’t know what this is. Just a needed filler chapter for the final coming up? I should admit I’ve hit a wall that if it wasn’t for @wandabear​ who slapped me with out of the writers block i don’t know if I’d be able to continue this, lol. I just want to say that tooth-rotting fluff is coming. Hope you enjoy this mess (:

Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII, Part VIII

Getting out of your car, you couldn’t help the smile growing by the second as your chest inflated with pride.

The house you’ve always wanted was about to be finished. After all the hard work and the re-designs, in just a few more days your forever home would be ready for you to fill with thousands of memories.

“Hi, James!” You greeted your contractor.

“Hi, Miss,” he bowed mockingly.

“Cut the crap, asshole.” You laughed at him.

“What? My salary after this will ricochet. It’s only fair I treat you as royalty.”

“We both know we’ve had bigger projects. Don’t you?” A raised eyebrow accompanied your smirk.

“This was the most challenging, though.” He countered as you both walked through the front door. “Which leads me to-”

“Please, no.” You whined disappointedly, feeling the happiness melting away.

“It’s big,” James informed. “Remember how we were greatly surprised the water pipelines were practically new?”

“I don’t get it. The inspection came out right.” You felt a tug at your heart as you spotted the huge hole in the floor.

“We still have to figure out exactly where the leak is. We’re waiting for the inspectors,” 

“How long?” You braced yourself as the anxiety took over.

“To move into the house? Around 7 weeks.” 

“The fuck? You know my lease ends in less than 6. Right?” You growled.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. Might as well make sure everything is okay so you don’t have to fix it later on.” James reasoned.

Sighing, you just nodded defeatedly. The news about you being homeless even if for a bunch of days only increased the anxiety absorbing the reduced oxygen your lungs needed to function properly.

“Do you know a trusted storing company, by any chance?” You put your hands in the pockets of your jeans, trying to hide the shaking.

“I’ll send you the contact later, yes?” He looked up at you with a sympathetic smile.

“Thank you,” you smiled sadly before making your exit. You didn’t have it in you to inspect the remodeling anymore. Much less to ask about details.

Closing the car’s door harder than you should’ve, your fists collided against the steering wheel repeatedly. To say you were furious was an understatement. It was in times like these that you questioned how much of an asshole you have been in your past lives to be paying such karma. 

You see, having to ask for shelter wasn’t something that worried you because you knew your friends would happily take you in. But what upset you was that it happened right when you had not one but two different clients that had requested a 3D model of their projects. And if the chaos your workplace turned into had you moody, you didn’t want to imagine how it’d affect whoever decided to host you.

But before you could dwell too much into your disgrace, your phone took you out of your reverie.

“Yes?” You tried to steady your voice.

“Uhh, troubles in paradise?” You cursed yourself for failing such easy tasks.

“Don’t remind me,” you grunted. “What’s up, Bucks?”

“Everyone is here already. Don’t tell me you forgot?” You could hear the voices of your friends talking in the background.

“Right. I didn’t forget,” you sighed. “I’m on my way, now.”

The way to Natasha’s was spent trying to calm down your anxiety. Today was a day to just enjoy your friends' company and have some good times. There’d be time to worry about your problems later.

But of course, that was better said than done for as you raised your hand to knock on the redhead’s door, your phone started to ring and the name of your most exigent client flashed on the screen.

Inhaling a long breath, you picked up the call. “Good afternoon, Mr. Coleman,”

“Hello, darling. Is there any chance you could send me the design for the guest house?”

“But there are a few details to finish,” you reasoned with the old man as you smiled exasperated to the redhead at the other side of the door.

“I understand, but I’m here with my son and he wants to check it out before you finish it just to get-” You walked inside the apartment, plopping yourself on the three-body couch in the living room, not interested in the explanation the man provided you.

“Alright, Mr. Coleman. I’ll send you the sketch right now.” You bumped your head against the padded backrest of the couch repeatedly at the lack of room to scream. It wouldn’t be very professional of you, after all.

“Thank you, darling. Have a nice weekend.” The old man greeted and you could only answer in the most cheerful voice you could fake before hanging up and leaving a loud grunt.

“I want a sugar mommy,” you whined, earning the laughs of your friends.

“Didn’t peg you for a sugar baby,” Natasha scrunched her nose at the thought.

“Ehh. If the pay is worth it,” you shrugged looking around. “Where are my babies?” you pouted at Wanda.

“They’re with Vision,” the redhead smiled tenderly and you ignored the trembling of your heart.

“Bummer.” You sighed. “Nat? Can I borrow your laptop?” You then turned to the redhead, who was looking at you with a knowing smirk.

“Sure thing,” she pursed her lips trying to keep whatever she was thinking to herself, making it impossible for you to stay glued to the couch.

“Why you looking at me like that?” You questioned the older woman as you followed her to her study.

“Sugar mommy? Really?” Natasha laughed mockingly.

“You know it was just a joke, right?”

“Does Wanda, thought?”

“What does she has to do with that?” You frowned confused.

“Dude, you can’t say those things in front of her. She has it bad for you,” 

“Oh, shut up. She doesn’t.” You shook your head as you pressed the keys to access your email.

“I’m telling you, you’re so smart for a lot of things but so dumb when it comes to her.” Natasha walked away, leaving you dumbfounded with her words replaying in your mind. 

But there’ll be time to try and decipher her words later. Now, you have to tend to your irritating client.

After what seemed like a few minutes too long of you fumbling with the touchpad, you clicked on the ‘send’ button and logged out of your account, turning off the laptop in the process.

The way Natasha's eyes were set on you despite having her girlfriend by her side made Wanda's blood boil with jealousy. Even more so at the way you were fidgeting as you kept stealing glances at her. The secrecy of it all had Wanda's fingers itching to pat the redhead’s smirk away.

Truth be told, it's been a few days since Natasha had taken her place in your life. Granted, you still visited each other frequently like you used to. But most times than not, Natasha was present when Wanda visited you. And even though Wanda knew the redhead’s heart belonged to Maria, she couldn’t help the greeny monster taking over her.

"So, how's the house going?" Wanda's attention picked up at those words, turning her gaze to you.

"Painfully slowly going." You whined, chewing the bite you just took.

"I thought it was almost done?" Bucky asked.

Sighing, you positioned yourself with your back against the armrest of the sofa and Wanda couldn’t help the soft caress in her heart at seeing you so relaxed if it wasn't for the frown on your face.

"James found a leak in the water pipeline and it'll take longer for me to move in, so now I'll be homeless when my leash ends next month," you sighed looking down at your hands and Wanda's words stuck in her throat as Natasha beat her to it.

"That sucks. But you know you can stay with me for whatever long it takes. Right?" The redhead offered.

"And have Maria having a meltdown?" 

"Hey! I'm not that bad." The brunette complained.

"Who are you kidding? I can tell you the times you scolded me for being so careless when you saw me working," you chuckled heartily and Wanda couldn’t help giggling at the image playing in her mind.

"In my defense, it looks like a tornado passed by after you finish it." She shrugged.

Wanda didn't get to understand your retort as she was taken to the past, when she had stayed -multiple times- with you as you worked through the night building rooms and molding different miniatures of furniture out of cardboard and wood sticks as you created the mock-up of the design you were working on. Feeling the calm taking over her as she got to see you so at ease into your element even though it left you crying sometimes. The way you always patiently instructed her how to cut or glue the small objects had her heart skipping a beat when your hands would brush against each other. The calloused yet soft skin of your fingertips against hers had shivers running down her spine. 

The pang against her side had her back to the present as she looked at her brother, frowning when Pietro’s eyes were moving weirdly.

Raising an eyebrow, Wanda silently asked him what his problem was, only for him to signal at you with his blue eyes.

But even though they shared a special bond thanks to being twins, sometimes it took more than a look to communicate. 

And Pietro seemed to think the same as he sighed before he spoke. "Why don’t you stay with us?" Wanda's head tilted to the side as if her brother had grown a second head.

"Not sure it'd be ideal, Piet. With the twins and Wanda working from home, I don't want to impose," you nodded in the negative. Wanda's brain was trying to catch up with whatever was happening.

"Pretty sure Wanda wouldn’t mind. Right?" Wanda had to muffle a grunt as yet another finger poked at her side. Looking back at his brother, she saw him gesturing to agree with him.

"Of course not," Wanda tried to give the most convincing smile she could muster. "Lord knows I could have another adult by my side to try to understand the twins' babbling," 

"We'll see. I still have a few weeks to solve it." You shrugged it off, signaling the end of the discussion; leaving Wanda thinking about the prospect of you living in her house even if just for a few days and she’d be lying if the idea didn’t get her heart somersaulting.

The upcoming weeks we spent between you working nonstop trying to finish as much of your projects as you could just so you didn’t turn Wanda’s house into a mess with your supplies and boxing whatever you didn’t need for the time coming as your possessions along with your furniture would be sent to the storage facility James had recommended you.

“I finished with the kitchen,” Natasha spoke, walking into your room.

“Thank you,” you eyed her sitting on your bed, her green eyes looking at you expectantly. “Can I help you?”

“Maybe.” The redhead pursed her lips, obliging you to release a grunt as you busied yourself packing your clothes. “I need you to answer me something.”

You hummed in acknowledgment as you took a ripped jeans from the pile you had decided would go to the storage, folding it neatly before you put it in the box.

“I’ve been thinking,” Natasha paused and it took all the patience you had just to swallow your growl. “What if you and Wanda get together? Where would you live?”

Her words had you turning your head so fast that you felt dizzy for a few seconds. “Where do you get that idea from?” You frowned as the redhead groaned painfully.

“I swear to God, you’re so dense, Y/N!” Natasha rolled her eyes exasperatedly.

“I'm not. It’s just-” You paused trying to organize your thoughts, too afraid to misunderstand the signals both your friends and Wanda constantly gave you.

“I don’t want to hurt,” you sighed defeatedly. “If she really felt something for me, she wouldn’t have rejected me for prom night.”

“We were kids back then,” the redhead took a seat beside you on the floor, taking the crumpled shirt off your hands. “She was afraid,” Natasha took your hands in hers, squeezing them.

“Afraid of what?” You felt your heart cracking at that confession. Why would Wanda ever be scared of you?

“That’s something you have to ask her,” Natasha spoke softly, almost pitifully. “But what I can tell you is that you just have to open your heart in order to see,” 

But before you could voice your feelings any further, the ringing of your doorbell had the redhead walking to greet your friends, ready to help you with the moving.

After having loaded all your furniture and boxes into the haul truck Bucky had managed to borrow from a friend, you both drove alongside Steve to the storage place while Natasha and Maria drove to Wanda’s with your baggage.

“I think we deserve a nice dinner as a welcome.” The blonde spoke, gaining your attention.

“It’d need more than a dinner to thank you, guys. You’re literal live savers,” you smiled truthfully.

“Ehh. It’s nothing, dude.” Bucky shrugged you off with his eyes glued to the road. “But you need to keep us updated.”

“With what?” You frowned at his words.

“With Wanda, you dummy,” Steve giggled.

“Not you too,” you whined, throwing your head back.

“What? We deserve the dits as your best men,” Bucky smiled toothily and you didn’t have it in you to break his heart.

“Can we not go there? It’s not like we’re moving in together,” you rolled your eyes.

“Yet. You’re not moving together, yet.” Steve corrected and your hand itched to lovely pat their faces.

To say the rest of the afternoon was full of mockery and laughs was an understatement. You barely had time to spend with the boys as adulthood had you all pretty busy, so you tried to make it the best of the day as all three of you worked together to put your belongings into safety.

Once you reached the house that would shelter you for the next ten days, you couldn’t help the sweat forming in your palms and the feeling of utter uncertainty at the prospect of breathing the same air as Wanda’s twenty-four-seven. 

Natasha’s words from earlier did nothing to placate the anxiety tugging at your heart.

“Thanks for having me,” you smiled something crooked at the redhead on the other side of the door.

“It’s nothing,” she smiled toothily and you couldn't help your heart skipping a beat at the shine you saw in those green eyes. “Hope you don’t mind that I cooked pasta?” Wanda scrunched her nose in that way it had you all mushy over the floor.

“As if you didn’t know me,” you rolled your eyes playfully, earning a laugh from your host.

“Where are my sunshines?” You walked further into the house looking for the twins, wanting to escape the uncomfortable silence that had settled between you both just a second ago.

While time ago you’d be more than happy to spend unlimited time with Wanda, now it was only anxiety what you felt as you wandered into the very-well known house as your inner fears slowly manifested themselves, making it hard for you to feel at ease in what you once considered your second home. Too afraid to face the reality you dreaded to recognize laying at the back of your mind.

As always, comments and reblogs are highly appreciated (:

Taglist: @summergeezburr​ ​ @wandabear​ ​ @red1culous​ ​ @inluvwithfictionalwomen​ ​ @aliherreraaa @kiancorpse​ ​ @whitewidowsbite​ ​ @xxxtwilightaxelxxx​ ​ @daenerys713​ ​ @swiftie1-0-1 @godamnityess​ ​ @marvelwomen-simp​ ​ @forthelesbians​ ​ @when-wolves-howl​ ​ @marvelogic​ ​ @cowboyboots236 @iliketozoneout​ ​ @jayceelynnn​ (If you wanna be added to the taglist, just let me know! :)  

[silverskye13]

can i ask how you get the motivation to write? ive been writing for most of my life but i have such a hard time sticking with it

Honestly it just comes from the overwhelming desire to create. In a perfect world, I would rather animate or make comics, but my life is short on time, so I write instead. I can take my fic with me everywhere, squeezing in writing time while in lines or alone in the office or whatever. It's versatile.

For long projects specifically, it helps to have a plan. You don't have to outline everything [though I know people who do that]. Knowing you have a premise and a major climax somewhere is sufficient. The premise is interesting to you, the major climax is the very cool finish line you want to cross. Setting that goal of "write until you write the thing you desperately want to write" keeps me going. It's why I write chronologically instead of cherry picking scenes I have ideas for and then filling in the blanks later. I treat those scenes like they're dessert. You want it? Work for it :3 not to say cherry picking is a bad thing. I know plenty of people it works for. I just know myself, and if I give myself the fun payoff when I want it, I won't slog through the rest.

In the shorter term other things that help:

Making music playlists or mood boards or whatever. Give your brain a reason to keep picking at the story outside of the story context. Make it fun to work on. Don't feel like writing but don't want to forget you have a project? Add songs to the playlist, look up photos for setting inspiration, make a Tumblr tag for quotes. It has the added bonus of helping your story along, and giving you a reason to make the world and characters better.

Don't be afraid to drop it. Like, seriously. I know this whole post is about motivation, but nothing kills a project more than getting insanely guilty about said project. You're allowed to take days, weeks, months, years to rest on a project. Just because you put it down doesn't mean it'll stay down, and agonizing over putting it down will just ensure it's harder to pick up again. If you're staring at a project and you would rather do literally anything but work on it, don't work on it.

Uhm, counter to that, if it's been awhile and you're scared to start again? Just write gibberish. I have a section on every large document called "cut pieces" where I slam out the most dogshit writing and after I get warmed up, I cut it and put it at the bottom of the doc. For two reasons. The first being you've got the swing of things so you can get rid of all the practice you did getting to that point. The second being it might not be as bad as you think it is. Someday you're gonna remember that dialogue, and you're going to want to salvage it.

Keep aids handy! Especially for things that bring you trouble. For me it's descriptions. I love descriptions, but I often have trouble thinking up good ones or I have something specific in mind I can't nail down, or I've been staring at a wall for an hour trying to think of a good way to describe clouds and I can't. So I keep a description document, full of descriptions from books I've read or previous ones I've written, that I can use as a jumping off point. It speeds things up, keeps me from dithering on something stupid, and sometimes someone already described the perfect cloud, yanno? [As before so again, if anyone wants my description document, feel free to ask. It's massive and it's organized.]

Never stop at the end of a chapter. Well, you can stop at the end of a chapter sometimes it's 2am and you just wanna write [Chapter 11] on the header and go to bed. But normally I like to keep writing a few more paragraphs? So when I start [Chapter 11] I'm not staring at a blank page. Blank pages will always win a staring context. Put an I there so it blinks instead.

Change your document color. Like the paper color? White is so mean sometimes. My screen is black with white text. Other writers I know swear by lavender or green. White is just so hard to break man there's just something about it.

Last one but, keep reading. Like, why do you want to write? Because you want to tell a story sure, but why do you want to tell a story? Well, probably because you read a good one somewhere, and you want to give other people that "I read a good story" feeling. So keep reading. One of the most motivating things you can do is remind yourself why you're slaving over a hot keyboard.

.... And this got very long sorry :'D

Hope this? Helps?

[omophagic-beast]

for the tarot rpg ask game! The Fool, The Empress, The Hierophant, The Chariot, The Hanged Man, The Devil, The Tower, The Star, The Sun!

!!! wowow hi!! thank you for all the questions, im gonna put them under a read more as to not clog up peoples dashes

from this ask game

The Fool – What do the earliest stages of work on a game look like for you? OR How did you get into game design?

i have a notes discord server! and a channel in there specifically for game ideas. previously i had a big word document titled "game ideas", but its easier to access discord from my phone lol

usually i have an idea and i stick it in there first

heres the start of the pillars of creation :3

and then ill noodle around with it, just brainstorm and slap spaghetti around. this is another reason why i like discord for this at the moment, its informal and easy, much less daunting than a word doc

i didnt end up using most of the bits here lol

and then ill move it into a word doc once its clear that ive got an actual project / game starting to form!

the one problem with this is sometimes ill keep an idea in there for much longer than i should and it becomes a mess of me replying to myself, terrible to follow. this is the current problem with moonlight whaling, sigh

The Empress — Where do your ideas come from? OR Do you seek out or avoid inspiration while working on an idea?

a lot of places!! tumblr being one of them, sometimes ill see a post where im like "huh that could be a game in some way" and ill stick it in my notes discord for later. but really anything, books, movies, songs, other games. im not the first to say this but u gotta read / watch / experience new things to make new things

The Hierophant — Who is a fellow game designer you’ve learned a lot from? OR What is a piece of popular wisdom about games you think is nonsense?

i answered the second one here so ill answer the first!

ive learned a lot from any designer whos game ive played or read, to start. but i wanna shout out @thydungeongal on here, her posts abt game design and rollmaster / d&d are highly highly fascinating and helpful to me, as a guy who hasnt even played d&d let alone any old school stuff and just kinda jumped into the indie scene from the start.

kinda makes me wanna play rollmaster, ngl. whats it doin with all those mechanics and tables =w=

The Chariot — What is the next project you’re planning to start OR What is the next project you’re excited to finish?

this has been my big question to myself recently, what game to really focus in on next. i have games that just need to be finished, but i think my next one* is gonna be this time travel game ive been thinking of

working title is Hooked, and the reason i think im going to start (and finish) it next is cause ive already got the main mechanic figured out, where when you fail a roll you can choose to create a hook, and in doing so succeed the roll

but that hook is a place where a future you has traveled back to that point in time and given you what you needed to succeed, which means at some point youre going to have to come back and close the loop, or else risk creating a paradox

too many paradoxes and the universe explodes so like. be careful :3!

it is going to be a lot of work, i want the general aesthetic to be the journal of a time traveler, with notes from all their future and past selves scrawled in the margins in different colors. and theres the question of if its a solo game or multiplayer, or both. solo-friendly is my current thought, but encouraged for more than one person. but we'll see how it actually plays.

The Hanged Man — What other creative pursuits do you have? OR What current trends in game design are you most interested in?

someone should ask me this again cause i wanna answer the other one also :3c

but! i have a crochet project on the mind so i wanna talk abt other stuff im into also :3

im currently considering ADHD and how it could possibly relate to myself, so just keep that in mind when i say ive dipped my paws into a whoooole lot of different creative hobbies. sewing, knitting, pottery, bookbinding, needle felting, jewelry making, and yea, crochet, are all stuff ive been into at one point or another

but my favorites are crochet and cooking / baking. for most of my life i thought my career was gonna be in food service! ive been a baker, cake decorator, and diner cook before, and loved all three of those jobs.

and crochet is great mainly cause you can make stuffed animals / amigurimis >:33 i loooove little guys and being able to choose what soft yarn im gonna make em out of, though its been a minute since ive made one. but!! like i mentioned ive got a project on the mind, as im gonna try and make the "something strange and indescribable" from the Before the Flood backerkit campaign and im very excited abt it :3 stay tuned for posts abt my success or failure on this front

The Devil — What motifs or mechanics do you just keep coming back to? OR What is a game you’ve enjoyed playing in the last year?

NIGHTHAWKS by @titanrpg is really really good. it has a heart in it, one that beats at an all too-familiar rhythm. when i played it we told a story that was perhaps a touch too close to home as well, disparate sad people sitting several stools apart at a dive bar in a small town.

i have a tendency towards comedy when i play ttrpgs, but my favorite moments are all when ive been deeply serious and sad, and thats what i got from NIGHTHAWKS

The Tower — Talk about about a game you tried to make that crashed and burned.

center of the known universe was an anthology of games i wanted to make a while back, all inspired by the part of the nevadan desert i live in. i dont think its crashed and burned necessarily but i certainly never finished it and im not sure i ever will, though i still like the ideas for some of the games and may release them individually

The Star — Talk about a game you’re working on and what excites you about it.

a game ive been working on for a looong time that i dont think ive really talked abt on here is The Lady, The Tiger, and The Accused. its a descended from the queen game based on The Lady or The Tiger? short story, where (to put it very briefly) a king has created a new form of justice where the accused is put in an arena with two identical doors in front of them.

behind one door, a lady of an appropriate social standing for them to marry, behind the other a very hungry tiger. this leaves the verdict up to fate, for if the accused is innocent they will surely pick the door with the lady, and if they are guilty they will choose the door with the tiger.

but the accused in the story is also the lover of the lands princess, and when they look back at her for the last time she raises a hand and points towards one of the doors.

the question in the story is one of love. would the princess rather see her lover dead, or married to someone else?

what comes through the door, the lady or the tiger?

but! there are other characters in this story, with agency and lives of their own.

The Lady, The Tiger, and The Accused instead asks a question of trust. when The Accused looks back towards their princess, and she raises her hand, do they trust her? do they open the door that she points towards?

its a game for three players, with each person playing one of the titular characters. it uses the descended from the queen format to create the character of the princess throughout play, along with the characters of The Lady, The Tiger, and The Accused.

its a good game!! ive got a bit more work to do on it, mainly on the tiger role. not everyone is comfortable being an actual tiger and role playing scenes that involve communicating with humans or attending parties and such, it turns out.

but im really excited abt it overall :3 its good and fun and i think it uses the descended from the queen format really well and hopefully one day ill do a crowdfunding project for it and get enough money to hire a bunch of different artists to make princess illustrations for it >:333

The Sun — Talk about a game you’ve made that you’re proud of.

im proud of all of my games, in one way or another. but, with an obligatory Before the Flood mention (crowdfunding now!), im really and truly proud of my body is your body is our body is

it was my first kinda big game that i published, and there was a lot of stuff with the first edition i really wasnt super happy with. im really, really proud of myself for finally going back in this year and fixing it. its so much better now! in a lot of ways.

and i mean it was good to start with also, most of my problems were with the programming side of it. when i was making the second edition reading back through the game made me cry a bit lol. theres a lot of banger lines in there and a lot of feelings.

[autisticblueteam]

Appears from the ether again, after months of only being present enough to fill my queue up, with some WIP snippets from the gen:LOCK re-write I mentioned before...

And also finally adressing these tags lmao, sorry @thesouppond I realise these are like 3 months old.

#FUCK IM JUST SEEING THIS NOW???#FUCK YEAH 2024 SEASON OF EVERYONE GETS TO REWRITE GENLOCK CAUSE FUCK S2#Ahem anyway hi genlock moot :)))#I love your writing btw! Ive read your existing GL fics theyre great!#at this point if someone can give me a GL fic i havent already met I will forever be indebted to you i am DYING for GL content

We're really out here trying our best to do better by GL than HBO did huh!! I've been loving Reloaded, it was so nice to see someone else pop up in the gL tag after it was comparatively dead for so long. I've been working on my re-write since just after s2 came out and it was lonely in there for a while there lmao.

So I'm glad you enjoyed the couple of fics I've already done! I'm re-using parts of one of them for the actual re-write since I'm going for the 'keep the basic bones of s2 but aim to fix the execution into something less shit/re-work the worst bits' and I didn't want to write that first nemesis fight over again from total scratch lmao...

I want to finish writing all of the re-write before I post it in full, but that does mean it's taking forever whoops.

I'm still not past the introduction of Sinclair as his portion is so involved and I keep getting distracted by other projects/hobbies, but I did finally get to a point where my take on Sinclair is actually fun to write! I'm keeping his boyfriend because I did at least like that Sinclair was made canonically queer and they're actually cute when I'm just doing my own thing.

So since I feel like posting some WIP bits, here's my favourite Chris/Sinclair stuff I've done so far.

“YEAH! Take that you fucked up tin can!” Sinclair winced. The shout was like an ice pick being driven into his skull, but it was also what finally drove him to lift his head. There ahead of him, wielding a large piece of debris in one hand, was a heavyset Asian man dressed in torn clothes and covered in grime. He reared back, and for a split second Sinclair thought that projectile was for him, until he heard an impact, and the last of the humming died. The man brushed off his hands, pride written on every feature, and in that moment he was the most beautiful thing Sinclair had ever seen. “Coast’s clear!” the stranger called behind him. There was movement, but Sinclair didn’t care to look, his attention caught by the man’s approach. “And we’ve got a live one.” Sinclair’s throat was so dry he broke down coughing twice, in the time it took the stranger to kneel in front of him. “I-I’m not Union. I-I know— with the uniform, and the—” Another violent burst of coughing cut him off. The stranger handed him a canteen and a crooked smile. “Yeah, no shit. You’ve got way too much emotion on your face to be even a defector,” he said, and if Sinclair wasn’t so busy chugging the offered water, he might have mustered a laugh. “That, plus, the lack of helmet, the collapsing, and the drone getting ready to turn you into a novelty cheese grater kinda gave it away.” “Christ, I could kiss you right now,” Sinclair blurted and then regretted in quick succession. Fuck. He’d been in near solitary too long, his filter had worn away to nothing and he was making a damn fool of himself in front of the first sane people he’d seen in weeks. Except the stranger just… laughed, good-naturedly. “Close, the name’s Chris, not Christ. And I’d say buy me dinner first, but it’s a bit hard out here.”

AND then a little later...

“What about the refugee railroads?” Chris lowered his beer bottle and wiped his mouth. “Too far.” “Vanguard safe crossings?” “Too far.” “The— fucking Canadian border?” Chris laughed, “Too far. Further than either of the other things. Jesus, dude. You sure you haven’t got a concussion?” “Mostly,” Sinclair said, rubbing his face with his intact hand. “I just— you’re going to die if you stay here. A drone only has to get lucky once.” “And if we go deeper in, we’ll only die faster,” Chris said with a simple shrug. “We already have to pack up and move every few weeks when the line moves. And every time, the Polity border gets a little bit further away. Believe me, man, I want nothing more than to get outta here, but it’s just not happening.” “What if I helped?” The offer fell out before he’d consciously decided to make it, but Sinclair stood by it. Even when Chris looked at him dubiously. “No offence, dude, but you’re just one guy. And two days ago you could barely stand.” “And now I’m fine,” Sinclair insisted. “I’m a soldier. I was decorated for valour after I got my squad out of a run-in with the Union that should’ve killed us all. I was the only one who could even still hold a gun. I swear, I could get you somewhere safe. Are you really telling me you’d rather keep sitting around waiting to die than take a risk?” Chris’s brow furrowed, and he didn’t answer immediately, taking another swig from his scratched up bottle of beer. Sinclair sighed. “Look. I need to get to a Vanguard base one way or another. I don’t want to leave you guys behind if I don’t have to. I owe you my life. And maybe dinner.” Chris almost choked on his drink. “Wow,” he laughed, clearing his throat, “you sure pick your moments, huh?” Sinclair shrugged. “Figure if you’re not actually into it I’ll just blame the concussion.” “That you don’t have.” “Exactly.” Chris rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. “Smooth. Smooth operator. Alright, alright, fine, we’ll talk to the others in the morning. It might be a tougher sell when they’re not the ones getting dinner with a hot soldier out of it, but hey, guess we’ll see.” “Are you looking past the just-got-done-being-tortured chic, here, or is that part of the charm?” “Are you kidding? There’s a whole genre focused on how hot soldier guys look after they’ve been through hell.” “Not sure that’s the intended takeaway of action movies.” “Well,” Chris shrugged, starting to pick at a can of food, “it was definitely my takeaway.” Sinclair laughed. Honest-to-god laughed, in a way he was surprised he was even capable of after the last few weeks. The normality of the moment was like a balm on all the aching parts of him, mental and physical alike. For a moment he could almost forget that the reason he looked like shit was because he’d just escaped the worst experience of his life. For a moment it felt like the fight was over.

Now I just have to actually get through the remainder of my Sinclair set-up and then I'll be only one chapter away from finishing the first half of the fic... so close and yet so far lmao.

[alexisnotstraight]

hi! i went back to work on friday and worked nonstop for 3 days, i was going to draw all the requests i have but i didn't have that much time tbh. i did finish one but im gonna have to finish the others later, keep sending requests btw, i love them! also there was a storm in friday, and i work outdoors so it was hell. in other unrelated news, im trying to improve my style and trying to dress better in general. so friday i went with black dress pants, white button down, white boots and a black waistcoat that i adjusted to be my exact size. also had my sleeves rolled up and wearing rings and my beloved rainbow belt! you can see that watching the 2007 emas performance of teenagers its starting to affect my everyday life unfortunately. saturday i was wearing that tiny black dress that ive been wearing since im 11 and it shows. it was fun, i live skirts that can go spinny and i didn't felt as self-conscious as i thought i will. obviously until i went to the store with my brother and this guy kept looking at me weird and didn't stop even after we made eye contact and i was looking visibly uncomfortable, i don't think someone has ever looked at me like that, it was disgusting. anyways, sunday i got to wear my shoes that i painted a garfield with a knife on, it was awesome! also i wore my earrings of a goose with a knife! and i got gifted a pocket knife by my coworker!!! i as well bought way more stuff than i should, i got new headphones, some picture frames for some art related projects i have, some acrylic paint, paint brushes, a pair of boots that have really tall heels so i will finally be tall!!! and i bought a dress that makes me look like the secretary the boos cheats on with and its so pretty! also i played some mcr songs to my brother and he told me that he didn't want me to play my satanic rock at work 😊💖 anyways, my whole body hurts and i need to buy groceries bye!!!

[irlgoomy]

Just finished working on another album... This time its somethin for Vast Error. I thiiink I can kinda talk about it since it was soft announced on their fundraiser stream a few weeks ago, and a few previews were posted. Thoughts are under the cut because I dont want to fill up your timelines with this lol.

I *finally* got to do an aspects album! Its something ive been wanting to do ever since I got back into hs in 2018. I just never had the time or reason, or platform to do it.

I kind of consider this album to be a sister to Cyber City Sound Pak. Homestuck and its fanworks, and Undertale/Deltarune are two sides of the same coin in my brain so it just feels natural to consider Duodenary as the other side of Cyber City Sound Pak.

Duodenary, Thats the name of the album, btw.

So I started this right after I released Cyber City Sound Pak... I dont think ive ever worked this hard on back to back releases before. Nose to the grindstone type mindset, lol. To be quite honest, I was certain that I'd burn out real bad after working on this. Duodenary is 14 songs, and an hour and a half long. And I somehow did all of this within 6 months.... Right after finishing up another album of a similar length (Duodenary is longer than CCSP! This is my longest album yet!). I mean, who wouldn't need a break after making like 30 something songs within the span of a year???

I didn't. Instead I think with this album ive finally broken through a mental barrier ive had with music production that I didn't know was there. I feel *renewed*. I want to explore more genres and make stuff outside my current wheelhouse and explore what I can just... Make. I've been trying to force myself to take a break but I really just can't. Not out of the need or pressure to constantly have a project going, but because I'm having a shit ton of fun with it. I feel like all of these projects ive dreamed about doing are finally in my reach, I can finally execute them in a way that i'll be happy with...

(I am however keeping myself from doing any projects outside of personal ones, since jumping into one would absolutely burn me out instantly lmfao. That I know for sure.)

Duodenary doesnt have a release date yet, and I don't want to say what the release window is yet, since that hasnt been announced through official channels yet. It'll be sooner rather than later and I'm really, really freaking excited to share it with everyone.

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Looking at jm’s tracklist for FACE got me really surprised because the a lot of producers that posted pics with him aren’t on there (except for pdogg ofc lol)… it got me wondering if jm’s has plans on releasing whatever they worked on down the line if it wasnt scrapped… really glad abt the credit though because not only does it seem like FACE is fully in house project but we got Rm writing too (minimoni collab 💜💜💜) and most especially JM has writing credits on all of the tracks except for interlude!!! jm worked really hard and judging from the snippets we heard from the behind video, I know I’m gonna fall in love at first listen… sad that there’s no yoonmin tho, altho set me free pt 2 is potentially a callback for d2 interlude set me free. I’m looking forward to JM’s spin on it!! Some people are disappointed that the album is gonna be short but tbh jm has the least experience in writing/producing his own solo songs so I wasn’t surprised but i know for sure they’ll be quality tracks because of his historg of producing bangers. I had also been guessing that jm will be doing full promo and seeing that he has an eng vers for a track makes me certain that there are plans for us promo too!

Ive been laughing at your reply to the anon abt FACE all day bpp but it also has me delulu that maybe he’ll release a makeup line because that man can definitely sell out just from his face alone and the colors for the album itself def very similar to what brands are releasing these days… army twt def makes me delulu with all the edits too… like didnt nwjns release some kind of limited ed bag for their debut album??? imagine if one of the tannies did that…

*

Ask 2: addtnl bec i accidentally pressed the button to send the ask without finishing

seeing pdogg in the credits for FACE tho makes me kind of wary that he’ll have jm use his higher register again but seeing that this is jm’s solo album and they dont have to worry abt his voice harmonizing with the rest of the members to make tracks that work i am very hopful that we’ll hear jm’s lower register more…

i’m hoping that at least one of the dance performance will have him doing some pole work too… maybe not the whole song but like a segment of it… i’ve been watching a lot of pole dance videos and there’s a lot of beauty that can be created in it it’s truly an art form too and jm has the muscle strength to execute those moves perfectly too… i really cant wait for march!!!!

***

Hi Anon,

I loved reading this. Thanks for taking the time to lay out your thoughts so fully. But before anything else, and because I've seen this in a few places, I want to start off with one thing:

"Looking at jm’s tracklist for FACE got me really surprised because the a lot of producers that posted pics with him aren’t on there (except for pdogg ofc lol)"

It's possible those people still worked on the album. Visiting another producer can serve a myriad of purposes - those producers could have worked on the arrangement, Jimin could've used their sound engineers, recorded vocals in their studios for processing, etc. It's also possible you're right and these were initial meetings to discuss ideas and establish a relationship on which Jimin can leverage for his later music. But I'm saying this to point out we haven't seen the full credits yet. Pdogg as main producer and Jimin working with RM who has supported every solo venture Jimin has ever done, is obvious too, but we won't see the full credits until the album is out.

As for the make-up line, I think I've been saying forever that in my head, Jimin already has a fragrance house. What I want for Jimin is for him to delve headfirst into releasing a whole line of perfumes (sorry, make-up lovers). I know he loves flowers but for some reason, I imagine he smells more gourmand and musky with a hint of citrus and chypre, rather than floral scents. But yes just his face alone on any sort of palette would sell it out instantaneously lmao.

I think we're also getting a standard BTS cardboard album packaging lol. NewJeans is under Ador, not under BigHit, and we know that Ador and BigHit are fully independent sub-labels under HYBE, meaning what NewJeans does has zero bearing on anything BigHit does... for better or worse.

Your mention of pole dancing reminded me of that edit that dropped after Jimin mentioned wanting to do it for a Run episode.

(This non-Jimin is doing such a superb job)

*

Yes let's have Jimin in a skintight mesh piece showing off his full back tattoos doing an inverted crucifix move with black hair and black nails. All our synapses will misfire (and this likely has an 80% of not happening), but after writing out my own outlandish wish list for PJM1 (now, FACE), who am I to say nay?

I'm not the type to analyze album covers, concept photos, or even album/song descriptions so I don't have much to say right now, until I actually hear the music. After the initial excitement, I'm now stuck in this 'let's wait and see' limbo, but I do have certainty about one thing:

Jimin is coming to fuck all of us up.

[nihiltism]

since ive been too College to have enough art for any sort of summary im just gonna put a general year end rundown of what i feel i did best on this year!!

i think every year since i figured out that i dont need to use pens to line has just gotten better art wise for me. FUCK lining. pencils are my best friends forever and ever and can do your job better than you ever could. anyway apologies for some of these drawings being crunchier than others, i only recently got a scanner and Cannot be assed to scan my old art for this post rn.

also the first art here is a hatoful boyfriend spoiler. i mean i guess the last one is too but its vaguer i think. anyway. none of these are actually analyses of what i learned with each art im just braining

april 5th-

you guys know this one i REALLY like it. why in the goddamn were my best pieces this year hatoful boyfriend. anyway i uh. hey did you know that i didnt do the notgeki with graphite because i like mixed media. i did it because i have not owned a grey pencil for my some-teen years of drawing ever. i only JUST got a grey pencil like. a couple months ago. i mean im good with graphite i would have done it like that anyway but. yeah. anyway this was abt the height of my beginning hatoful fix and Also indirectly what got me to meet like a bunch of my mutuals here!! i did. not know there was a hatoful community. and because That i actually started using tumblr so!! hey thanks hitori. i need to do more birdform art.

april 15th -

this motherfucker! ill be. completely honest i dont have a lot of feedback for a lot of my graphite art bc ive Been doing this. ok actually yknow what i will say. there is a limit for how dark something can be with graphite and i Very much remember going over the inside of the cloak So Much. this was my pet project during my weekly 3 hour long lecture so god bless it. also i do still like how i did the eye. can i draw eye guys exclusively please.

july 3rd -

not really Art im proud of but!! holy shit i dont design often and i dont hate this!! this is at least in part thanks to my gf. my gf knows how to clothes better than i do so i did ask them for help. also i really need to scan this one. or maybe draw her a new ref. anyway (holds up celine) look at her. look at the silly.

september 6th -

this one was a trade for my friend raicatty and. also something i probably should have scanned. but its fine. anyway this one did teach me something and its To Line Your Damn Pieces Darker. lining with the color that youre going to be coloring in is kind of Asking For Disaster if it overlaps with others and u can. see that. this is a bit imparseable. but its also pretty. and thats all that really matters. a fun fact for when i ever do commissions is that being allowed to use this purpley pink pencil i have will make me really happy. its so pretty.

OERSHRIMP INTERLUDE

OERSHRIMP INTERLUDE

november 13 -

forgive me for including a sketch in this but YOU DONT UNDERSTAND IVE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO DRAW HUMANS. like. NEVER. much less in an actual decent pose. (god bless adorkastock) im So very delighted by this oboromaru and hes!! like!! one of my least favorite characters!! (not to say i dislike him hes just lower). i dont know what happened here!! if this wasnt at the very back of my Sketchbook I Just Put Away Because It Was Falling Apart id say id finish this one later. rip. he and that dark daroach sketch i had there can just vibe i guess.

aaand the big one. december 8th -

things i learned from this one! 1. the scanner did not pick up the red lines very well! 2. scanners are good! 3: NEVER do a full page project again! buuut i do want to say i am like. insanely proud of this one. its the first art ive done i can really say has any sort of Composition and im so delighted that it turned out just as cool as it looked in my head. also this took forever and i could have easily messed it up Multiple times in the process. so god bless.

[0303003]

dec 12 2023

i accidentally gave myself a paper cut just a couple minutes ago :/ i was going to finish my design project in the library but im just sitting here not doing much. i checked out a book called sweet bean paste by durian sukegawa and i haven't finished it even though im going home on thursday. not too much of an issue because i read kinda fast. im staring at the book right now. my stomach keeps growling and it's so embarassing wahhh

sometimes i look back on my life (im literally only 20 so there's not much to look back on lmao but still...) but i randomly remembered how my first dream career was to be a writer. and then i wanted to be a teacher. and then i wanted to be a pharmacist. and then i wanted to be a nasa astronomer (jeez). and then i finally decided on graphic design. and then i wanted to be a lawyer during my second year of college because i was scared i wasn't going to succeed in graphic design and needed a "backup plan" (JEEZ). im technically a design and econ double major right now and i need to get rid of the second major. as of right now, im going to minor in asian american studies + tech management (idk).

my therapist told me that oftentimes our actions reflect on what we feel at the moment. i was anxious and worried about my future last school year and felt that if i packed in a lot of shit, it would ease my unsureness. i was doing a lot because i felt a whole lot. and im the type of person to be like "well! doing something is better than doing nothing and complaining about it!" which i still believe. however, i also learned that doing nothing at all is also an effective course of action. going to therapy gave me insight on my actions and thought processes. it helped me understand myself a bit better. i took a small break but i think going back for the next year might do me some good.

november was probably one of the most difficult months for me. i initially intended everything to be just a friendship break but after opening up (for the first time) to my friends and roomies what ive been through my entire life; id decided to just walk away from it. im no longer friends with my cousin and i cut her off. i hate her but i still slightly care for her because she's my family. i have a 4th house stellium so it kinda makes sense i guess. i prioritize family and that's why she stayed in my life for so long.

during that break, id decided to end our friendship and spent the month grieving. (ok random: i had to fart so bad i had to leave the library so now im at sage st cafe typing this... call me little miss farty i guess. continuing on...) it was my first breakup ever. i've never lost friends or dated (ill touch subject on this later). like out of all people and things, how badly did you have to fuck up for your cousin to end the friendship yk? knowing myself, heightened emotions go hand in hand with my actions. i didn't want to repeat my second year where i just loaded shit onto myself just to cope. but i also didn't want to cry about it too much because i was the one who left. i left because i was hurt. and if i was so upset about it afterwards, it was like damn! might as well have stayed in that fuck ass friendship if i was still going to be miserable.

my best course of action: doing nothing. i did absolutely nothing. i didn't talk to my cousin. i softblocked her on everything. i removed her location. i just didn't want to deal with her. i just walked around the arboretum everyday and just reflected on our entire friendship. i was sad (i'm still sad) and i couldn't do schoolwork. my brain was just foggy. going to class was difficult even though im taking only 12 units this quarter. i knew i shouldn't force myself too hard. school is not that serious. i just wanted time for myself and let myself process what has happened. i skipped class and couldn't work on assignments. i still ended up finishing up my assignments but i turned them in late. i told myself that turning in things late is a lot better than not turning anything at all. it was hard for me to even get up from bed but i had to tell myself that my cousin made me so fucking miserable the past 20 years of my life. failing class felt like i was allowing her to continue to make me miserable even though i was the one who left. i don't need her in my life and i made sure to not fall too far behind in my studies. i don't give up.

i wasn't trying to do well in class to "prove" to her that i don't need her in my life. hopefully what im trying to say doesn't imply that. i have nothing to prove to her. i don't need to surpass her in anything because i already am. i just don't want to fail class because of a breakup and then blame it on a breakup when i know i could've tried to overcome those challenges. i blame things on my actions not on my circumstances.

i spent the month writing a lengthy goodbye letter to her. it helped me release some internalized feelings. i could've written 100+ pages if i truly wanted but i just wanted everything to be over. i was tired of her. i was tired of feeling hurt. plus, i don't think her attention span can last long enough to be reading 100+ pages.

if she had anything to say to me, i wouldn't have known. i ended up just blocking her and i told her i was going to do that. she has done so many things that have hurt me and this year especially. i wrote in the document that i wasn't going to publicly talk about it (and im technically not doing that. im just venting on my blog... whoever reads it, reads it) but honestly, it's my business. if i want to talk about it, i have every right to. i was the one getting bullied my entire life by her. i have no need to defend her because she hurt me. she was the one who cancelled on my 20th birthday after i'd driven two hours to sj at night. she was the one who made me buy her anniversary envelopes for her boyfriend. she didn't even pay for my birthday gift--she had her boyfriend pay for it. she was the one who weaponized racism to bully back a girl who bullied her in elementary school. she was the one who aired my business to a new friend i just met and knowingly talked about a man who'd made me uncomfortable (ended up getting it resolved so me and him are good now). i had to talk about myself in the third person (in the letter) because she struggles with empathy.

[ltho1nlinguistics]

meta lore i guess??

i think originally i planned to make an (obviously) more substantial post than what this will be but i dont feel like i got time tonight so ima keep this short with meta lore

yeah so i'll go over the meta history of my conlang and basically.. my goals?

yeah so basically the idea for this conlang came to me when watching a youtube video that has the same idea as my conlang but a very different execution.

the video's pretty alright and obviously it captivated me enough to set off on my own conlang journey

for a while the way i interpreted "british latin" was basically as a more conservative form of latin, mostly because it was insular and as such separated from the rest of romance

with this starting point i made it a bit like sardinian actually

later i kinda just decided to change my course with it and made it more spanish-y while developing more french-y features with time

and eventually, i finally decided it should be a gallo-romance language fully, just cuz from what i could tell doing extra research british latin probably wasnt all that different from continental varieties?

as for what i hope to accomplish with this conlang, i mostly want to keep the project alive

ive been conlanging for a while, actually, just never as in-depth and steeped in actual linguistic research as this one, but ive never kept a project alive long enough to really call it finished. ideally that ends here

also i have another conlang that is similar in concept that i've been developing whenever i want to take a break from angleis, and it's an african romance language which is a project i quite like. im shelving it again for a while tho. maybe ill talk about it here some time

one thing i would really like to do and that i've gotten a start on but never sunk significant time into is putting my language into minecraft as an immersion tool. it really just sounds like a great time and so thats something ill probably work on on-and-off

anyways seeya tomorrow maybe ill finally make a post about phonological history

[riseofrai]

I haven't posted here in like a crazy long time, oops! doesn't matter tho bc this is my diary and i have no followers :) i had to take three tests today at school, but on the bright side, even though i missed a few questions, i convinced my teachers to change my scores and i got two hundreds and a 96 😎 haven't checked my moon app, but im pretty sure today is gonna be a good day. maybe that can be a segment: "my tarot predictions of the day (and if they came true)"

I finished all of my work in both classes super fast, so ive been planning out the hangout I'm doing with my friends later and also my future clout chasing career all day. i can't decide what i want to use as a username though, so i haven't started yet bc i can't continue unless everything is completely figured out.

I'm going to a concert in a few weeks. it's my favorite band and the fit has to be amazing, so I've been planning it out for weeks. im planning on making a shirt, so having to choose between infinite options is making it much harder than if i had to just choose from my closet.

I just got on the votech bus and there's a sub and the bus smells awful and there's someone in my seat, but for some reason im not as mad or overwhelmed as I'd normally be. thanks for that /gen. i have no clue what we're doing at votech, we're probably not going to the house project, which means I'll have to put together a toilet (that i took apart wrong, yay extra work). But if we do, I'll get to sit next to some friends that i don't normally get the chance to see.

This ended up being a huge life update, oopsies, but whatever, i had fun writing it :)

date - 3/10/23; time - 10:41; place - in the hall waiting for the bus & on the bus

pic (bc i can)

[wildheadtendsherhair]

2023/02/02

Skin Picking

Havent been on here a while since ive been picking so little, its hard to remember to post! Ill take that as a partial win. But anyway, can you guess why im back? Yep, its day 0 again. And surprise surprise, my skin is bumpy and red again. When i was still on my streak, its amazing, i could use however much lotion i wanted and not breakout. It truly wasnt any products, it was just me touching my face all the time. I still got blackheads, but they were so hard to see because they werent red. I was disappointed to to figure out that acne pads arent enough to get rid of blackheads. I think i have to at least scratch off the top layer? I dont know. Grr! Honestly tho when blackheads arent angry i find i dont mind them much. Hardly at all, actually.

Hair

Great. Still so short! I still look like a fairy pixie, but sometimes by nightfall i just look like an oily unkempt person, and its not because of sebum. Just something about the uneven ends and the short length. Tempted to get it cut, but theres not really any good options? Cutting off and inch would probably dramatically decrease the frazzledness, but not comletely eliminate it, *and* it would be an inch shorter. I only have four inches! I wish i kept more track of how fast my hair grows. Ive heard half an inch is average. See heres the thing people dont think about when trimming hair—its inherently temporary. If you trim half an inch, thats one months worth of growth. By the end of the next month, you'll have grown another half inch. But, the growth will be uneven. So youre back to where youve started, right? No wonder it felt like i could not grow my hair out past a certain amount once my mom started making me get "the split ends cut off". Itll probably all be worth it when it gets long. Unkempt but cool & cute wild animal [insert pic of Power]. That said, i do wonder how long itd need to be to get the dorky but clean Queen's Gambit haircut…

Diet

Still doing Weight Watchers. I hecked up this week, ate under. Ended up binging last night. But it was the first time in a long while, so im proud of what ive accomplished. Silver lining, i mean. It was a very sucky experience being that full. Painful, even. But ive recovered! And im gonna be more liberal with my points earlier in the day. No point in being cautious if i can always eat 0-point foods at the end of the day, and it becomes an imperative to not if im regularly hitting the end of the day with spare points. It was a bit of a successful experiment, because i wanted to see if me eating under naturally would hurt me later, and, well… But im a little worried, because me eating whatever and "lots" this morning has only led to a normal breatfast of ten points. And ive been eating until about an hour ago, so i may not be hungry for a timely lunch. :( But i am feeling peckish for a sub, so maybe soon ill order one and not shy away from the sauce. My point target isnt a minimum, its a, well, *target*! Wow! What a riddle!

Mood

Ive been on edge this week, after a week of feeling phenomenally well. I blamed it on work, but, maybe it was my eating? Or its a factor? Hard to say. I do have quite a few things started that i havent finished, and i think those are hanging on my mind; go long enough and it become tiring but you forget why. Its a hypothesis. Other than that, its been a great week. Started a cool playthru with some friends (and its a japanese project too), checked out warhammer for the first time and had a blast, study group has been great, i got back into DDR, and might go with a cool girl this weekend, i drew for the first time in forever and it turned out great (oh man i love my apple pencil). Fruitful month, january was. I might just need to remind myself to and practice relaxing. Worked for my sleep!

[heartyearning]

not letting myself work on anything other than my cardigan till its done (im doing the sleeves now so it’s a lot of very basic knitting which is boring but also it’s almost done and im just wasting time not finishing it if i go ahead onto other stuff rn) but after that im either gonna make this beautiful sunburst hat i found on ravelry OR a very loose knit colour work heart pattern sweater

isnt this fucking gorgeous .. im not a hat wearer and im actually planning on crocheting a hat bc im planning on making the same one for everyone i love so yk but this ones so pretty idk if i can resist

and like ok so this would be a lot looser and a lot different in terms of colours (i think a white base would be nice but i have very vibrant fluorescent pinks that i could use instead, plus now im thinking i might find a nice purple too? and maybe some black ? maybe actually do the pink base with a dark purple pattern? idk yet!) the thing is just that im itching for a sweater thats very soft and springy (hence the loose knit) but that im not 100% sure how that would work out with the colour work... i also wanna like. learn how to drop stitches in a ladder but also to secure it somehow so that it doesnt Keep unraveling... im p sure u can do that but not 100%

anyway super realistically my next project is gonna be my moms xmas/bday gift (her bday is in june its just that she JUST asked me if i could knit her this thing she saw online and its a really basic item that i can definitely do its just that im prob gonna use 2.5 mm needles so it’s gonna take forever) which tbh im also excited by bc i splurged on a much nicer yarn (”splurged” it was on sale and it was still only like 12.50 / 400m originally but still, ive been using solely 1.19/241m acrylic yarn lately bc thats what they have in zeeman) plus i know i’d get bored of doing ANOTHER sweater so... but also i want more sweaters that ive made for myself. and also also we’re gonna do a whole set of classes on knitting later this yr & it’s just rly put me in the mood to try all sorts of new things cause i know the class itself is gonna be pretty basic cause not everyone knows how to knit or crochet yet.....AND we’re gonna do machine knitting. so fucking exciting.

[dritaautos]

Valhalla hills impressions

Things are spaced out a bit more than I usually expect from an Assassin's Creed game. The longship is little more than a truck, and the rivers are little more than roads between raids. Players can get around the English countryside just as effectively on horseback. The key selling point of Valhalla, the longship, is nothing more than a glorified truck, and the rivers that run across England are basically just roads. In fact, you don't even use the longship to sail the seas around England you only use it to sail up and down rivers looking for villages to raid. The Norway map has a few islands, but the England map has virtually none. There isn't even much in the way of islands to discover out in the open seas, so even the exploration incentive is gone. Worse yet, there is absolutely nothing to do with the longship except use it as a vehicle for moving about the empty, sterile seas and rivers. It tries to copy the one thing that Black Flag did so well, and which inspired all future sailing mechanics for every Assassin's Creed game that followed, but it actually somehow manages to remove that thing! That's right, there is no naval combat in the game at all. You had one job, Valhalla! And you couldn't even get that right!Īssassin's Creed: Valhalla is a tedious, repetitive, drawn-out, copy-pasted, glitch-laden, slog of a game and story. And even then, I did not even come close to completing the game because it's just too damn long, and I have much better things to do with my time. I only came back to it later (after she had finished) to see if the game had any redeeming qualities. I played a little bit, hated the early hours, and stopped playing it so that I could work on other projects. She played through the entire game, and liked it just fine. Several months after release, I finally bought a cheap, used copy for about $30 from someone who claimed to have played the game and got bored of it, so that my partner could kill time while stuck at home during the ongoing pandemic in 2021. Buying a sealed copy from an eBay scalper is the same as buying a new, retail copy, as far as I'm concerned. I specifically filtered for "used" copies - none of that "new, sealed" wholesale scalping nonsense that is all over eBay. I wasn't going to give that company a dime of my money, so I waited and watched eBay for cheaper, used copies to show up. So fuck Ubisoft and its executives, who (if these allegations are true) should all be in prison, and the company's ownership should be given to the employees who were wronged. Even the company's HR department has been accused of being complicit. Like the Catholic Church, Ubisoft may have systematically hid these alleged transgressions and protected the executives who were committing them. I've been hoping for a viking-themed game ever since Black Flag.įor starters, I refused to buy Assassin's Creed: Valhalla at its release because I did not want to give any money to Ubisoft, which has had ongoing legal issues regarding multiple sexual harassment and sexual assault allegations against high-level managers and executives. Well, it turns out: almost everything could go wrong. Black Flag was so good, it seemed like a sure-fire, slam-dunk idea! What could possibly go wrong? I felt that the open-ended sailing and naval combat would work well in a viking setting, complete with raiding coastal villages as an extra way of obtaining wealth and loot (in addition to plundering trade ships in the open sea). One of the thoughts that dominated my playtime with Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag was "Oh I hope the next game is a viking-themed game!". Strong Language, Use of Drugs and Alcohol (