#ive been watching a lot of free youtube musicals at the moment

[randomperson0k]

i could of sworn i already posted some of these already so either a: ive lost my mind or b: ive also lost my mind

just tried cooking a cake im like 90% sure i accidentally instead made a omelette [half joking. i wish i was joking]

not proud of the second doodle [experimented with jekylls design and the finished product makes me want to throw myself out the window] but im posting it anyway

also hyde in a dress... thing. because its been awhile since i drew them in any clothing other than the default suit cape tie with red boots [can never forget the red boots]

oh and hyde with the rats too. i need to start drawing them with their pets more its been awhile since i drew them with their 20+ cats

"why do they have 20+ cats are you even trying to follow the original book anymore" HUZZAH!!! J&H CAT LADY BE UPON YE

[chloe12801]

Introduction post

Hello! My name is Chloé, I’m in my early twenties, bisexual, and I’m currently going to college for psychology as well as environmental studies. I have a puppy named Ella Stein (after Frankie Stein) and here are some other facts about me:

☀️Sagittarius,🌙Libra,⬆️Cancer (Astrology is fun!)

Fluent in English, know some French (could probably survive a conversation)

Favorite musicians: Lana Del Rey, Miley Cyrus, Rico Nasty, Eminem, Nirvana, and MCR

I consider myself a music enthusiast. I collect physical copies, collectibles, merch, and am always trying to diversify my music taste/knowledge. As a result, we probably enjoy some of the same artists :)

I also collect monster high dolls, crystals/rocks, and pins

I love animals, I want to use my degrees to do something involving them

Favorite video games: GTA (mainly V, haven’t finished IV or played any other), RDR (2, need to buy and play the first one), Fallout 4/NV/76, and the Sims

I’m very much in love with Trevor Philips

I am a proud lover of old men, average Lana stan moment

I am a creative, I have dabbled in music/art/edits/videos/written work/clothes/upcycling/photography

I am an immersive daydreamer. This means I have deep lore filled daydream universes that go on for years. Ex: I have one with an OC and Trevor that I thought up around 2 years ago. I really should write it down bc it’s essentially fanfiction

I love vintage stuff, particularly 60s-00s

I like girly, grunge, coquette, goth, and rave type fashion. Combining this with vintage and you get my style

I’m really into aesthetics, I’ve been making themed boards on Pinterest and weheartit since middle school

I LOVE horror, the rare times I watch movies they are almost always horror (or cinematic bc I like visuals)

I like visiting cemeteries, I just find them peaceful and nice to remember those who aren’t around anymore

If I’m watching tv shows, I’m usually watching children’s cartoons. My favorites: Regular Show, SpongeBob, Adventure Time, and The Amazing World of Gumball

I’m usually watching YouTube though, mostly stuff with video game or horror themes

I’m shy (probably bc of my GAD) but very friendly and non-judgmental so feel free to talk and interact with me, I have a hard time making the first move sometimes

On top of having GAD, I also have major depressive disorder, OCD (mainly contamination), body dysmorphia, recovering from an ED, and other symptomatic issues stemming from these things like anger issues

I tag all posts I add something to/create with #cafa / #cafaoc

I think this is a pretty solid start to knowing me, of course there’s a lot more to me than this but yeah welcome to my account! :)

[monsterqueers]

Semi-Liveblog of Xenogears

Finally getting around to this crunchy 1998 jrpg, watching it on youtube because ive been told the UI and game mechanics are really ass in places, this will be copypasted from my carefully largely spoiler free discord ramblings to my platonic partner in batches so no spam.

I know a few spoilers for this that were specifically why I wanted to witness it- IE that I can ‘Same Neurotype!’ a character, and its Really Dark. The Mindfuck stuff goes without saying its the monolithsoft staff.

Copypaste from last night under the cut

Ohhh man the screen resolution and menu sound effects very crunchy ps1 shit The low res anime&cgi  cutscenes with 90s dub voices... -chefs kiss- Very crunchy Man I think I recognize this fucking random extras voice.

(...)

but the dubbing pool of voices in 98 was pretty small so chances are I HAVE heard it but oh man this is a tense moment and the VAs sound like they are discussing the weather this is great

-juicy Space Bullshit happening- Some dude: Im evacuating the ship (said like im ordering coffee)

The graphics are pretty impressive for the ps1 I think. The cgi is hysterical tho Im sure it looked better on a crt tv because the spacing and blurring or the lights makes the shading look less fucky on a lot of older stuff The detail on the 2d animation is really good tho for a ps1 anime custscene

oh naked lady dubiously censored naked lady yes this is a xeno game there must be boobie. Contextless boobie Oh man now I gotta read a lot of white text on black screen lol but the music is nice never heard it but it sounds nostalgic 'look at this cute village with cute music!' ok 'it is now on fire!' That sounds about right oh my fffuninkg god that screen transition windows movie maker shit ohhh yes this is good the screen is still wobbling and flashing oh lord the eyestrain lol

First thing the protagonist does is swear we are getting off to an excellent start Awwwe he paints thats cute

oh god the iu direction hud THATS AWFUL(complementary) thats very 90s 00 Weird Shit Before They Codified Whats Expected With A Hud design

Fei(Protagonist) has a sparse room with just a fuckton of art supplies in it where he seems to be only drawing self insert fanfic lol. Hes got his priorities in order. oh man that low poly cow

They did good to make a fully 3d  'move the camera around' game in 98, as low poly as it is I can see the 'sort of squeezing out everything you can out of the game engine' effort that went into xc1 in this

This girl and also this whole village totally has death flags I can smell it on them they are to happy and cosy Fei dodging conversation he doesnt wanna have like Naked Dunban

Oh what the shit you can talk to an npc while you talk to another npc??? lmao CRUNCHY gameplay that sounds like you can cause problems for the ui and fill the screen with textboxes I hope they thought of that and don let let you endlessly add more text boxes this town music really sounds like music ive heard a million times before for hours but I know ive never played this game maybe its background music for some video essayist or something very cosy tho

KITTY OMG IF YOU TALK TO THE CAT IT MEOWS??? CAT SPOTTED AND IT IS ALSO GREEN FOR SOME REASON KITTY KITTY they better not kill the cat (they will probably kill the cat) you can make him(the protagonist not the cat) jump in a well for no reason lol OH PUN "'well' done! you found an item!" "Alls well that ends well." Ok this is a good localization

'bearcows' Oh so that isnt a cow its some fucked up chimera thing oH GOD ITS MOUTH OPENS LIKE A BEAR GOT IT OK

its got canines..... This animal is almost certainly one of the most dangerous.... Bulls kill so many people every year and this one has TEETH

'We got -list of a bunch of combo fruits and veggies- and turnips!' turnips, the universal constant I guess

no dont drink fertilizer fei apparently drinking miracle gro will heal you Dont Worry About It

The space lazer sounds for messing around in the menu lol

There is just no combat tutorial AT ALL HA oh hes got voice acted lines in battle lol!!! Thats a higher voice than I expected

completely incomprehensible battle hud fans really werent lying there it is Super Crunchy Can barely read this lol and at the speed the person playing is buzzing through it I cant tell if its turn based or not Dont know what that bar is either I THINK its turn based with a time limit? Yeah seems to be Head so hard you can kill a wolf by headbutting it I guess sorry its a two tailed jackal lol thats cool monster design tho

its a chicken in the house how cute! -talks to the chicken and it makes a horrible staticky noise- ah Fei, while pleasant bg music plays: hm wonder where the doctor is :) -explosion noise- -all music stops-

found him!

Ah yes For No Particular Reason This Is Shaped Like A Cross And Has A Winged Person Statue In It

This game is under NO CIRCUMSTANCE epilepsy or motion sickness friendly lol

Also yes the windows movie maker wobbly screen effect is EXACTLY what dissociation feels like thats right.

Knowing the special spoiler that I do about this game makes this part unintentionally funny. Dude its your alter. Crack ur plural egg. The childs VOICE ACTOR OH MY GOD LMAOOO OOF Things are already going ‘fun’ directions

Oh I think im getting whats going on with combat, you do fucking button combos in your turn??? is that whats going on? Oh GOD the platforming..... Oh thats the real content warning for this game.... Oh wow. Thats really bad. oh! Is that a conlang or another real language I cant tell its cool has anyone tried to make a language bible for it if its a conlang? conversations like Fei: If ur gonna kill me at least try to aim for the vitals attempted murderer: What The Fuck We finally get a full name for our protag! Rejoice! HAHAHAHHA OH MY GOD WHO IS THE MCS VOICE ACTOR LMAO OH MY GOD THIS IS VERY MUCH EARLY DUB HMGJFDjgh

oh hey his va was an extra in avatar the last airbender

The voice cracks in the kid version of the character ohhh my god this is excellent horrible 00s english dub

the music is really good though very nice atmosphere

Yeah it seems to be different button presses use some energy on the bar and you combo them in an attempt to puzzle that together for your turn with some combos being special and will do lots of damage or something???

Also you can really hear the music vibe being very xenoseries. Them violins set to mental break downs <3

'the lip synch in xc2 is bad' Observe Xenogears Lip Synching in the anime cutscenes Oh man its Bad Lip Synching (in a good way)

wow thats a lot more blood than theyd get away with in a t rated game today! well its 2d so probably actually thats fine but

Jesus christ Feis english VA is unintentionally hilarious Its a 14 year old anime boy voice and hes Beefy Like it would be one thing if it was a good 14 year old boy voice, but it sounds like a grown man trying(badly) to do a 14 year old boy voice for a beefy man which is why its funny good thing hes mostly crying and screaming in the cutscenes and not talking

Random t rex in a xeno game we meet again!

LMAO deus es helicopter

Dropkicking sharks in the desert... Yes. Normal activities

Ahhh yes, time for the talking about god again! This is a xenogame AND a jrpg after all. Gods are hunted for sport. I think I kinda like the 1.25 speed versions of some of these songs more than the regular version but that might be because ive now listened to them that way for 2 hours

Oh yeah this is a game that if you played high would be a very bad time. Some real mindfuck shit is happening (complementary) HIM! The dude the internet really likes! Blonde himbo spotted! BART XENOGEARS,,,

wow the doctor guy can do a full split his wife must like that

HHHEXCUSE ME???!?! Word for word quote: 'Is there anyone who is almost dead, with no arms and legs, or in need of an abdominal operation!? No one...? Well that's depressing..."

LMAOOOO We found a dude in a cave who doesnt believe in evolution and thinks space aliens brought humans to the planet and hes probably right lets be real this is a jrpg. (edited) Guy In A Cave: -proceeds to belt out straight up bible stories when asked about what ‘myth’ he believes in- Ok this is a xeno game he is almost certainly right if hes yelling about god

Just three dudes in a cave, two himbos with hair past their ass and an old man yelling about god and his skull collection. Lovely.

There is one brain cell in the party and our other guy has it who isnt in the party right now. We are talking to the old dude. We should not be talking to an old dude who collects human skulls even if he is friendly but thats just me

This customization menu is atrocious oh wow INCREDIBLE,,,

Wow Bart really is proto-Zeke from xc2 no wonder xenofans are rabid for himbos. WHY must the customization window zoom to the asscheeks of the not-gundams every time you refuel them What, are we piping fuel up the robots asshole? Is that whats happening?

Oh new himbo is kind to children no wonder people think hes husband material lol

-insert 'sand is coarse and rough and gets everywhere' star wars joke here- also new guy has pirate music and pirates are cool so like.

its a fucking prOJECTOR HEHEHEHEH LIke the ones that project light on a viewscreen from above omg you can taste the 00s

Man I can see exactly why xenogears people are so obsessed with Bart. Pretty, beefy, friendly but distinctly weird to mildly unhinged, pirate-cowboy-prince, whips. wait a minute wait a minute. Robots, mindfuckery, sad protagonist who Doesnt want To Get in The Robot.... When did NGE come out old on- I thought so it came out in ‘95 I feel this is a bit of a love letter to NGE

omg omg Bart does a little hopping animation when hes excited thats adorable

does... does this bad guy really just straight up have a giant cross tattooed on his face??? Theres heavyhanded symbolism and then theres whatever that is (edited)

ok I have to stop watching these and go to bed but thots so far: - The fandom darling is as good as advertised. Excellent man lemmie give him a headpat I want to eat him like a croissant. - Charming and Weird And Fucked Up in equal measure which is good - You can smell the crunchy 90s sci-fi emanating from this game(complementary) - The music sounds deeply nostalgic like ive heard it for hours a million times before but ive 100% never heard any of this game. Good stuff. - I am intrigued how the funny 'jump in the well' gag has progressed from funny pun hole with items in it if you jump down it a few times into using a well to sneak into some shitheads lair and unkidnap a little girl. Wonder if this is gonna keep being a thing.

[btssavedmylifeblr]

hi bae. this might be a depressing thing to answer so feel free to ignore. (1/2) ive been into kpop for years now. i comforted myself with idols and their songs. sometimes, because of the overwhelming loneliness in my life, i had dreamed about them. I know I'm just a fan and I'm fine with that. but just to comfort myself, I thought them as my friends and sometimes people I flirt with... but the more I rely on them the more I realized how pathetic I am.

(2/2) irl nobody would love me. I'm ugly, fat, good for nothing ; a loser. I don't even deserve to enjoy their music yet alone being friends with them - even if it's imaginary - I hate myself. "why im like this" this question hunts me everyday. I was seeing a therapist and it was helping but I guess since I spend more time in my head these thoughts came back. I feel so worthless. I wish someone would love me. But why would they? im no special,im nothing. im sorry if i made you uncomfortable.

——-

Apologies for being slow to respond! I’m not uncomfortable, just was in the middle of an upload when this came in.

So I’ve struggled with mild depression on/off most of my adult life. I’ve never been suicidal and I’ve never been medicated but there is a sea of sadness and self-loathing beneath me that is always ready to drag me down when I am at my weakest. So I recognize what I call “depression brain” in this ask.

I’m not a therapist, but for me, depression brain is a toxic combination of telling myself there is something wrong with me, then trying to use my sad depression brain to figure out what is wrong with me, failing to figure to out what is wrong and blaming myself again and the cycle repeats. Depression brain wants to think its way out of depression, but it cant, because depression is not logical, it’s physical.

Here are things that have helped me climb my way back out: therapy, exercise, sunshine, journaling, creative writing, making art, music, talking with friends about stuff I love, healthy food, hydration, sex/masturbation, massage, leaving the house, having a regular sleep schedule, helping other people

Things that make me feel worse: social media, television, junk food, staying inside all day, waiting to feel better, waiting for motivation, waiting for someone else to save me/love me/fix me, not sleeping enough / sleeping at weird times, trying to think through my problems without talking to someone else, telling myself that I am unique in my suffering and no one else has ever felt this way

Notice how all of things that make me feel better are things that make me physically feel better? None of them are magic thoughts that I can think and feel better. But all of the negative things are mental traps that the depression brain lays for me.

How does kpop fit into this for me? My blog is titled BTS saved my life because four years ago I hit a bad stretch of depression and BTS helped me in wide variety of ways. Their music made me happy and kept me company on walks, while exercising, and while doing other productive things that I didn’t feel like doing, like cleaning. Fangirling over them reconnected me with old friends and helped me make new friends with a shared interest, something I had been unable to do as an adult up until then. Writing about them gave me a creative outlet that was both fun and productive and helped me feel like I was bringing joy to other people. Seeing their struggles with a lot of the same issues I was going through and how they expressed those struggles in their music helped me feel like I wasn’t walking this path alone.

But kpop can just as easily be path into the sea of depression. If you are constantly comparing yourself to idols and finding yourself lacking. Or if you get tied up in angry fanwars / drama that make us all feel ineffectual. Or if you try to get the internet to validate you / give you attention because it will never be enough. Or if you’re spending all your time sitting still in front of a screen to absorb their content. So you need to have a critical eye on the ways you use kpop in your life and prioritize those ways that make you feel better and ditch the ways that make you feel worse, even if they seem enjoyable in the moment.

One last note:

People will love you. I’m sure people already do love you and your depression brain is preventing you from seeing it. I have many wonderful people who love me very much in my life, but when I am underwater with my depression, I tell myself that they dont care about me or that I am bothering them and I can’t see how much they love me. Having people who love you is not enough though, you have to love and take care of yourself.

PS. This video on Youtube is one of the best explanations of depression that I have ever found (its only six minutes, go watch it). Also provides a good explanation for why quarantine is making everyone depressed.

Now listen to some BTS and go for a walk. It won’t fix everything. But it may help a little.

[riskeith]

ooo! how was playing? what do you think about the event? i’m really enjoying it actually... always nice getting new daily things to do hehe.

yeah i think everyone knows The Cover now. i still can’t believe they did that... not complaining tho... oh really? you’re absolutely right and judging by the way they’re taking the story it seems like those two will have a lot more growth to their relationship. who knows maybe we’ll even get a part where bakugou apologizes or even talks about their past etc. one can only wish. YEAH i’ve seen both the movies and i love them!! they’re super fun and such a nice break from everything that happens in the anime sjskjssk kiribaku in the first one was so gay i.... we get it boys y’all in love fhjsjdjfk (THE SIDEWAYS TODOBAKU SMILE... one of my favorite moments ever) i am all caught up now.. waiting for s5... :(

no clue!! it’s just my theory so it might be wrong. the blue one was cute too so was the pink one.... they’re all cute why do we have to pick just one :( HEY you do know how to draw 😡 pretty amazingly too! but i’d love to see that in your style chongyun is so precious.. <3

omg i gotta hustle hard for AR 35 then i already miss him. i’m at 26 now and god.. it’s getting more and more difficult i can’t imagine how it is at like 45... 😭

oooooh!!! honestly barbara healing is godsent if you don’t get him you should consider it (hopefully you do though!!) IVE SEEN VIDEOS OF OCEANID AND HE LOOKS SO SCARY CLUNA.... no thoughts head empty only boy scouts party. looking at others with amazing parties: ok but do you have boy scouts party?

i mostly have sword users! but like i mentioned i’m starting to fall in love with book users (and even bow users) shskfhdkd so i might consider investing in those some day idk they just shoot of attacks and it’s so sexy. no hands dirty. ningguang seems so op 😭 plus geo is so nice!! like an all around element.

HE’S TALL? he has a short person voice...

i’m making a twitter i wanna see some fluff 😭 wait really? even this fandom is shit? why 😭 i sometimes see yt comments and the thing i’m iffy about is how people talk about spending money on it etc but is there more?

i’ve never heard anyone do that that’s so interesting!!!! do you write it down in the same doc and then delete it or do you write it separately?

ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS!!! i’ve had so many ideas come to me before bed and i always think that i’m gonna remember them but i never do it makes me so upset. especially if it’s an idea of how to continue a story i’m stuck with... god it’s the worse. writer things 🤪

“stan loona” aka bane of my existence. i don’t usually tell ppl i used to stan because of that reason sksksj. god that was the worst sheesh. anyway. yelling at ALL of these!!! ofc i know daddy issues slowed!!!!!!!!! it’s like one of the most popular slowed songs we’re all just a sad horny bunch loving sexy vibes huh. i listen to slowed songs a lot when i write actually it sets the mood. it doesn’t even have to be anything racy sometimes it’s just calms you down. do you listen to music while you write? also i don’t listen to any of those you mentioned except troye 😭 i’m sorry 😭 but if you’re have recs i’d love to hear them ofc!!

“after school” time that’s so cute. it reminds me of when you’re younger and you run back home and eat a snack and watch cartoon (i say that as both of us still watch cartoons... yee) speaking of crying; would you consider yourself a crybaby? (such a random question hskshdjdfhhd)

before i leave; let me blow your mind with a little something... https://twitter.com/primo_fates/status/1347780975078506496?s=21

hehe... mwah. ;)

it was good!! i tried to get some ominous masks and weathered arrows, but drop rates are always shit lolll. and i think the event is alright! i don’t love it but yeah as you said it’s fun to have something more to do every day.

ikr omg... it’s such a good cover LMAO. omg a bakugou apology 😩😩. what did you think of deku vs kacchan part 2?? i regularly rewatch clips of it and cry LMAOOO god bakugou.. “why did i become the reason for all might’s end?” heart broken wow. NICE!! yeah i remember everyone freaking out over the kiribaku scenes in the first one and honestly,,,, how else do you explain it LMAO. (AND THAT SIDEWAYS SMILE!!! holy shit i watched the movie like the day after i got into todobaku and that scene obliterated me.... absolutely destroyed!) aw nice! but yeah now it’s just the waiting game i guess lol welcome to the club 🤪

IKR??? i saw the “once you pick one the others are gone” and i was just nooooooooooo whyyyy. you can’t give us all these options then don’t actually give us an option 😭 AHAHA thank u but i always joke that i can only draw well like once every 10 tries so... yeahhh we shall see! i have this thing envisioned in my mind but i am unable to execute it fskhfkdsjfs

yeah omg when i reached 45 i was like “wow i’m gonna have to do the ascension quest soon” but it’s taking me so long to reach ar 46??? yikes how am i meant to get the experience with no quests fkhdsfkjsd

i use barbara a lot in the fire domains and with the pyro regisvine!! it’s kinda funny that i’m bringing a level 40 into a level 70+ fight LOL but yeah she’s good! AND YEAHHH OCEANID LEGIT GIVES ME NIGHTMARES I JUST. as soon as i had an actual team that could beat it i grinded it as much as i could before my world level went up and it became impossible again.... but since mine might go up again soon maybe i should grind some more... and maybe i’ll be able to level up both xingqiu and barbara lol. EXACTLY!! can they pls interact in game somehow omg.. we need a bennett story!! and more razor!!!! and chongyun too!! i forgot he hasn’t actually appeared in game hfsdkjfds. and ofc xingqiu <3

fdfjlsjfs are you gonna go from a no long range team to an only long range team ahahah. and you like geo??? omg no... i hate it bc it’s so like. inert FHKDJFSD. but i guess the shields are really nice!

HE’S 172 CM!!!!! he has a baby face too so it’s pretty wild fhskdjds

ooo wdym how they talk about spending money? i don’t really look at youtube comments tbh lol. and i haven’t really seen people talk about spending money much on twitter? tho some content creators i follow open commissions for money for the gacha fhsdfksj. if you do end up joining genshintwt i hope you have fun!! 

same doc and then i delete! but sometimes if the plan is really long i’ll make a new doc so i can see both at the same time (but recently i’ve just been opening the same doc again so i can see both that way lol). do your dotpoints go into the same doc as your writing one?

LMAOOO yeah i’m always like “hnghhh okay it’s fine.. i will Remember... trust myself” and then i never do and it’s just like welp goodbye to that amazing idea. but also bc it was thought up at such a weird time maybe it isn’t actually that good after all LOL

oh nice!! yeah slowed songs are soooo good. and i usually do listen to music! it’ll depend on what i’m writing bc i like the songs to have a similar vibe, but sometimes it’s too distracting so i put on lofi or something so there are no words ahaha. oh rippp LOL! hmm well badlands by halsey was my klance/voltron album writing soundtrack for a really long time.. i wrote a few fics with that in the background i think! melanie martinez’ k-12 album has a whole free movie to go with it! if you wanna check that out. bastille’s pompeii was really popular but i also really like flaws and of the night from them.. a lot of these are older bc i don’t listen to new stuff fhsdfkjds. and hmm pentatonix (they’re an acapella group!) do a lot of covers so maybe you can find one of a song you like and check them out that way? ahah that’s a lot feel free to not listen to any!! no stress at all lmao

oh fun fact melanie has a idk what to call it character? and song called ‘crybaby’! so very coincidental you asked. but yeah i think i am? LMAOOO like if i’m alone in my room watching something and it’s sad i Will Not hesitate to cry.. like sometimes you just gotta get it out you know? and sometimes maybe it’s a little boy singing a korean cover of colours of the wind but it’s so ethereal you just burst into tears but that’s fine! FHDSKJFHDSFKJS. how about you?

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY GOD!! i legit. my jaw is dropped. i. oh my god 😭😭😭😭😭😭 FHSJFKHSKDJF1!!!! 😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 this is so atmospheric and cosy and warm 😭😭😭 i can go at peace now.. fhskfhdsjf

thank you always!! - c.r. xoxo

[sveasauvageon]

Ce qu'il a donné Un an, deux ans, cent ans de bonheur Puis la vie te cueille comme une fleur || GW

☾♔; March 5, 2018 ☾♔; sotd: Котик by Alexander Rybak   ☾♔; comedian otd: JOHN OLIVER   ☾♔; GW To do list ☾♔; {G} https://goo.gl/XSTtMc ☾♔; mod(s): @themadmonarchist @maybones et moi

Title: lyrics from "Requiem" by Alma

--featured not-mine oc's - Eloise Avery | @themadmonarchist - Minah Delacroix | @maybones (see what I did there with the Serena and Blair positioning? -eyebrow wriggle thing-)

- - - x - - -

Updated GW to-do list: - Division of labour (we should really start saying when one of us starts working on something because otherwise we'll end up with redundancies since we think disturbingly alike) - the "chuck" problem: okay, tbh, it's more of an Ed Westwick problem than a chuck one. I don't know how you guys have reacted to the me too and time's up movements, but mine has been to cut all those men out of my sphere of entertainment, I even cut out "witch hunt", "not all men" type dudes, and "only fondled their breasts on tv and apologized for it" men (aka Ben Affleck), because time is up for all of you! Soz, not point, but since last October, Ed Westwick has been caught up in this, and thus far 3 women have accused him of ra.pe and a fourth of sexual misconduct. Now, I know it's not Chuck's fault that his portrayer is a ra.pist (allegedly), but there is still an issue with including his face, etc in aesthetics and gossip girl material because his face is that of a ra.pist's (allegedly). Tbh, I wanna leave him (Ed Westwick) out of material and only discuss Chuck and avoid showing his face or use a dreamcast instead, but like, I dunno what you guys wanna do. Chuck is a great character, although, early on, he was quite rap.ey, the character, and it does not help that his portrayer has since been revealed to be a ra.pist. Allegedly.

- also, going back up to the redundancy issues, I love both of your aesthetic collections and playlists, so for those, I was thinking for playlist, we should make one big playlist on spotify that's collaborative, so that everyone can add their music and it'll kind of be a huge explosion of musical tastes. But also, maybe have a collection that has a link on the group info for individual playlists for characters, and the group made by us and/or others. For aesthetic collections, basically the same idea with one big collaborative collection, and then that collection will have links to other collections (yes, I'm a little ocd).

- also, also, this is completely unrelated, but I was watching trevor noah's show and he made a joke about how much trump's male employees snitch and gossip like sht, but the woman haven't revealed squat. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpmlVWFTW8A) It's really funny, and honestly, stupid people fcking up in trump's circle very publically is basically what's keeping me alive. It's just hilarious how stupid some of these people are. ___________________________ Another Update (I'll leave those up until @maybones weighs in on them)

I was working on a draft of the group description to show you guys, and I was using a template of one of my old groups and rewriting stuff and changing it to suit our purposes and I realized how many freaking rules I have (I'm so picky), anyway, some of this stuff obvs won't be applicable (like, there's one about characters dying and I don't think we were planning on going that dark. although, serena was an accessory and chuck kind of killed his dad, so meh, maybe?) anyway, I wanted your opinions on what rules to keep and/or change:

✠ RULES AND GUIDELINES {GENERAL} ✠

I. Please be kind to each other. Your characters can be total jerks, but let us, the creators and/or writers be kind, polite, and respectful (aka, channel your inner Canadian guys). There will be absolutely ZERO tolerance of discrimination. You will be immediately removed from the group, and your actions will be documented and reported. PM me immediately if someone harasses you or you notice harassment between members. ⠀⠀Ia. If you want to be anonymous, for any reason, you can send in your complaints here {https://goo.gl/kbTXeU}, it's a google form, and it doesn't ask you verify your email, and the username option, is just an option, it's not required. If I need to make further contact/information from you regarding your concern, I'll make a group announcement vaguely describing your issue, and you can send in further information anonymously again. I'll be checking the form at least once a week.  

⠀II. I'm not giving this any specific rating, however, I will say, you're free to include whatever "adult" content you want, whether it be swears, gore, or the dirty stuff (I'm totally a mature, grown up adult guys). However, do be careful of polyvore's stupid censors, use workarounds like writing your story in google docs, or accents for swear words.  

⠀III. This is a non-elimination group,  but characters can die. It may be used for inactive members, or if you wanna kill 'em off or maybe revive as a ghost or something else. Permission will always be asked of the creator first (with the exception of characters belonging to inactive members, whose characters may be killed off as penalty).  

⠀IV. If you miss 3 consecutive contests (without informing me), you'll receive an "x", "|" will be used to break up non-consecutively missed contests, anyway, if you miss 3 in a row, that will open your character to be killed by either myself or other group members. You will be notified, but your permission will not be asked. If you wish to rejoin at a later date, and you character has not been killed off, simply pm me and continue with whatever contest is in progress. If your character has been killed off, you can re-audition with a new one, and I will transfer your points to your new character.

⠀V. Always pm me, your vodka aunt mod, if you feel you'll be unable to enter a contest, your reason doesn't matter. Just let me know you can't get your entry in, that way you won't receive an "X".

⠀VI. Plotting will be left open throughout the group, however, please establish a few of these before contests begin, and always ask permission when using someone else's character(s) and be sure to tag them in your sets. Please, PLEASE work with others, I hate when people just do their own thing in oc battle groups, this is a collaborative story, everyone's stories and ideas matter. I will call you out if I notice something that contradicts the connected story, and I will always, ALWAYS incorporate the stories of group members into the overall narrative. ⠀⠀VIa. Narrative precedence will always be given to the person who completely finishes the description of their set first.

⠀VII. There is not a list of roles to pick from, you can create whatever roles you want, however, I may ask you to change it if I feel your character may become "villager number 6" and not fit in with the action. Rules, regulations, and suggestions for roles can be found here: [placeholder].

⠀VIII. Always be sure to tag the member's when you use their characters and give credit where credit is due.

⠀IX. Plagiarism will not be tolerated and you will be removed and reported. If you're inspired by someone else's work, credit them, otherwise you're stealing.

⠀X. Sets unrelated to the group will be removed.

⠀XI. You will NOT be required to write out a full story. Story portions can be answered in paragraphs, but full stories are always welcome and appreciated.  

⠀XII. Do not use templates for contest entries unless otherwise stated.

⠀XIII. Always feel free to contact me with any and all questions, and/or suggestions. You can also send them through the anonymous complaints form, found here: https://goo.gl/kbTXeU

_________________________________

✠ RULES AND REGULATIONS {FACECLAIMS} ✠

I'm quite picky about these, but I'm not gonna be pedantic about it this time. You do you. Having said that, there are still some rules and regulations, as well as a challenge.

⠀I. All faceclaims must be above the age of majority (that's 18+ nearly universally on the planet), there is an exception for child characters but all main OCs must be at least 18.

⠀II. All faceclaims MUST be professionals. They can be actors, models, even singers. However, they must be singers of some note signed onto a label company, like Taylor Swift, or my beloved Dima Bilan (who's also an actor. a good one. yes, I'm bragging). Your faceclaim CANNOT be someone insta-famous, youtubers, or tumblr tweens.

⠀III. Whilst I'm not going to reject any faceclaim on the pedantic basis of "I don't like them", there are some faceclaims that I will and for one reason, and one reason only. Sexual misconduct of any and all kinds. Hollywood and the media are finally cleaning house, and I don't want those dicks in my nerd sht either. To be clear, I don't care whether the misconduct was simply groping a woman's breasts on camera and apologizing about 10 years later, I am going to reject everyone who's been accused. Examples include; Ben Affleck, Casey Affleck, Ed Westwick, Jeffrey Tambor, Danny Masterson, Andy Dick, Dustin Hoffman, and fcking Mel Gibson. (Side note, these are just actors, for a wider list of men who have fallen since the Harvey Weinstein story broke in October 2017, I recommend you check out this article {https://goo.gl/Uq65Qv} by the NY Times) ⠀⠀IIIa. If you notice I have accepted someone who has been accused of sexual misconduct/harassment/assault please inform me right away, and ideally with a link to a news source from where you learned about (I will google it myself, but the ready-to-go link would be much appreciated.) ⠀⠀IIIb. Also, Alec Baldwin is on my list of rejected faceclaims. He's not been accused of anything, yet, but I'm not liking his defensive attitude of alleged rapists. Fúck off. Matt Damon also falls under subsection B, for a slightly different reason, but fúck him too. In this watershed moment, I have no time for defensive d i c k s and "not all men" a s s h o l e s.

⠀IV. The Challenge: a lot of us have certain fave fc's we use over and over again (I'm certainly guilty of that), so my challenge is for you to use a faceclaim you have never used before as your primary oc. This is gonna be based on the honour system, some of you guys I may know well, so I'll know if you're using your fave again, but others I may not, and I can't aggressively stalk everyone, so I won't call out anyone for not doing it. It's just a fun little challenge, worth 10 bonus points, if you opt to do it. But again, it's based on the honour system, I'm not gonna stalk anyone, but if I know you and you lie to me on the audition form. First, I'll be hurt, and second, I'll say sorry and tell you you're not getting those bonus points.

(I know, two sets of rules makes me such a di.ck, it's why I need your help guys!)

[backpackbrigade]

Backpack Playlist 5/27/19

I no longer have a radio show so this is where I’m gonna be posting my thoughts and playlists! Have fun, who cares. Apple Music/Spotify links at the bottom. Enjoy. 

“Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God)” - Kate Bush, Hounds of Love (1985, EMI)

A gay icon, not much to say beyond that. We love some extra as shit background vocals.

“Bags” - Clairo, Immunity (2019, Fader)

First single off Clairo’s new LP coming out at some point this year. Literally all I can think when I hear the guitar line in this song is Avril Lavigne, and I say that with the utmost respect and love. Big ups to VW alum Rostam for the production on this track and Danielle Haim for drums - does this mean Clairo is now part of the PC Music squad AND the VW-adjacent rap/indie rock squad??? Her career is definitely pretty strange so far, but I’m hype to see her blow up beyond the world of the Youtube algorithm chewing up and spitting out DIY music videos. This track is also kinda full circle for her - in her big Pitchfork feature last year, she talked about being starstruck after seeing one of the Haim sisters on a plane listening to SOPHIE, and now she’s got one of them on a track. We love growth.

“Kisses 2 My Phone” - Sega Bodega, self*care - EP (2018, NUXXE)

Lona (aka MANIIK aka BABY GAMELAN) shared this EP with me last year, and it’s been rattling around in my head ever since. Some glitchy trap beats and subtly depressing lyrics about sending kisses to your phone and losing love. Scottish experimental pop kid who gets in your ears and won’t leave.

“Even the Shadow” - Porches, Pool (2016, Domino)

A classic, both Pool and their newer album The House (2018, Domino) remind me of a very specific time in my life when I was spending 12 hours in the photo studio every other weeknight and played Porches on shuffle to get through it. Very sad stoner synthy alt-pop for gay kids with lots of insecurity but dreams of 2014 soft pale tumblr aesthetic escapism!!

“Hatin” - Rico Nasty & Kenny Beats, Anger Management (2019, Sugar Trap)

Remember when Rico was just a Soundcloud kid with a stellar remix of “The Race” under her belt?? When I first heard that track in the background of a friend from high school’s Instagram story, I literally dropped my phone trying to lyric search it to see who sang it. Big ups to Lafayette (a newly minted Howard University grad :,) ) for putting me on. Rico’s always been bffs with Kenny, so this collab record isn’t surprising, but I didn’t expect it to be this good!!! Very excited to see her blowing up on Tik Tok rn, maybe she’ll finally get what she’s owed. And she deserves more than just a 2 second cameo in the Old Town Road music video………

“Dig” - Lance Bangs, Lance Mountain - EP (2016, Citrus City)

Reminds me of screamy jangly indie rock from the summer after my first year when I lived in a commune and got a stick and poke from a friend who was three mojitos deep. Also, Citrus City is awesome and we love to support VA labels!!

“Livin’ On a Prayer” - Bon Jovi, Slippery When Wet (1986, Vertigo)

Mostly putting this on here because it’s the ending soundtrack to a great little animated short film I watched recently called WORK (2009) by Michael Rianda. It’s a super 2009 short, but it’s fascinating because it feels like the aesthetic halfway point between Don Hertzfeldt’s Rejected (2000) and Bojack Horseman (2014-) style absurdity. It’s not the subtlest anti-capitalist cartoon out there, but it’s very cute and funny.

“20 Ghosts III” - Nine Inch Nails, Ghosts I-IV (2008, The Null Corporation)

Put this back to back with Bon Jovi because the weird guitar/vocal growls sound like the “Livin’ On a Prayer” digital doo-wops put through an insane pedal filter. Heard it for the first time when I was watching Laura Poitras’ documentary Citizenfour (2014) - she used it for the super haunting opening and closing scenes, and I can’t think of any better use for Trent Reznor’s sad garage dad phase guitar music.

“Guap” - Yaeji, Yaeji EP (2016, GODMODE)

No introduction necessary, hopefully. Gives me third year queer party vibes, and if you know what that means, congratulations. You’re part of an in-group now. Listen when you need subtle hype up music.

“Indica” - Dizzy Fae, Free Form Mixtape (2018, self-released)

When I showed a friend a picture of Dizzy Fae, their first response was that she’s probably from Amsterdam or Berlin or something and floats between secret clubs all week long before performing herself. She’s actually from Minnesota and is way younger than either of us assumed, so big ups to her for projecting the coolest vibes imaginable. Her vocal distortion is a little FKA Twigs, but she knows how to fuckin rap on the rest of the EP. Well worth a full listen.

“Flower Moon (feat. Steve Lacy)” - Vampire Weekend, Father of the Bride (2019, Columbia)

Best track on this new album, imo, but I can’t stop thinking about Vampire Weekend for a completely different reason. When this album came out, literally everyone was making fun of it for sounding like a Paul Simon redux. A lot of people praised it for the exact same reason lol. But Paul Simon’s relationship with cultural appropriation is a lot like Ezra Koenig’s, and not enough people have made that connection. Remember when Paul Simon broke the cultural boycott with Apartheid-era South Africa to make Graceland (1986)?? Everyone shit all over him for not only straight up taking South African music styles and centering himself in their vocal story, but doing it all in the midst of the largest cultural boycott in modern history. It’s a good album, I won’t pretend it’s not, but it’s deeply problematic and disappointed a lot of people who expected something better from a guy who knew what he was doing. Reminds me of 2008-2012 Vampire Weekend!! Anyway, listen to this track for Steve Lacy, if nothing else.

“Ur Phone” - boy pablo, Roy Pablo - EP (2017, self-released)

Another Youtube algorithm kid, boy pablo was in everyone’s feeds because this EP is the perfect summery shimmery gaze-y indie rock. His newer album is a little more uptempo than I personally like, but this track is *chef’s kiss*

“Can the Circle Be Unbroken” - The Carter Family, Can the Circle Be Unbroken: Country Music’s First Family (2000, Sony; original recording 1935)

Really not trying to wade into the country music discourse today, but this track is genuinely full of intense longing and sadness in a way that so clearly changed country/rock music and its relationship to the guitar.

“Before the World Was Big” - girlpool, Before the World Was Big (2015, Wichita)

Their new stuff fucking slaps, and seeing them come to terms with their gender identities is fucking beautiful!! But I always come back to these weird ass nursery rhymes. It’s literally just their harmonies and two guitars, and legend has it if you turn this up to full volume in your car and drive through your hometown, your unrequited high school crush will appear with their spouse and two kids just to rub it in.

“Vroom Vroom” - Charli XCX, Vroom Vroom - EP (2016, Vroom Vroom Recordings)

I mean. It’s Charli’s early work with SOPHIE, you’ve gotta just blast this shit and ruin someone’s life. The return to queer hyper pop over the past few years is the only thing sustaining my fucking mental health.

“Xternal Locus” - Chynna & Oklou, Single (2018, self-released)

Another track Lona played for me after I picked her up from work in DC. Lowkey enough to ***** to, highkey enough to **** to ;)

“Cinema” - Kero Kero Bonito, Totep - EP (2018, self-released)

KKB really did an about face with this record, but I still fucking love them. It’s still sunny and glittery pop, but with a chilled-out vibe. Their intense pop records are like the come up, and this is the chill smoke sesh the day after. Just vibey enough to let you chill out and kick back, but keeps you on your toes with some unexpected samples and glitchy moments.

“Jack the Ripper” - SadGirl, Breakfast for 2 - Single (2018, Suicide Squeeze)

We love surf rock, and that’s all I’m gonna say for this. You either vibe with it you’re bored as shit.

“watch you sleep.” - girl in red, Single (2019, self-released)

Music To Sleep To.

Playlists

[curly-q-reviews]

ROAD TO THE OSCAR MAYER WIENER AWARDS 2K19

A Star is Born, 2018 (dir. Bradley Cooper)

Nominated for:  Best Original Song, Best Sound Mixing, Best Motion Picture of the Year, Best Lead Actor (Bradley Cooper), Best Lead Actress (Lady Gaga), Best Supporting Actor (Sam Elliott), Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Cinematography

(TW SUICIDE, ALCOHOLISM, DRUG ABUSE)

(ALSO THIS IS A SPOILER-HEAVY REVIEW DONT READ IF U HAVENT WATCHED THE MOVIE YET AND WANT TO OK HERE WE GO)

WOWEE TWO REVIEWS IN A ROW IM ON A ROLL BABBIIIEEEE

ok so remember how i said in my intro that i didnt think this movie was deserving of best picture well uuhhhhhh i lied

or rather as ive been thinking about writing this review and the points im gonna bring up i kinda realized that this is actually a very VERY good movie and the reason i was biased against it is that 1. its the latest of four count ‘em FOUR iterations of the same film and im just so fucken done with remakes, and 2. it got a lot of commercial success mainly because of lady gaga who is like not a fantastic actress but she did do a pretty good job in this????  im gonna get into that later but for now lemme slap y’all in the faces with a healthy dose of ~Movie History~

as i mentioned earlier, this movie is a remake of a remake of a remake of a classic 1937 film starring hollywood starlet Janet Gaynor called- U GUESSED IT- A Star Is Born.  the original film is not a musical at all and really has no music apart from the movie score, and is not about a musician but an up-and-coming actress’s rise to fame in hollywood.  i really recommend seeing the original film (u can find it for free on youtube) because it gives a lil glimpse into what hollywood was like for young women trying to make it big from the late ‘30′s all the way into the ‘50′s.  theres this whole scene going over how janet gaynors character esther blodgett has to go through a complete transformation, not just physically but character-wise.  back in those days in hollywood u would have a whole team give u essentially a completely new identity, giving u a new name, changing your hair and eyebrow shape, creating a whole new backstory for you, and pinning down what “type” of actress you’d be (are you more of a pure innocent waifish type?  or the hard-working mother?  or the sexy yet airheaded provocateur a la marilyn monroe?).  its really interesting!  and also shows that hollywood has always wanted to control women so nothings really changed!!!  great!!!!!!!

so the reason the sequel made in 1954 went for a more musical route is because they managed to get Wizard of Oz darling Judy Garland to play esther blodgett/vicki lester this time around.  so now instead of a hollywood actress shes a stage performer trying to get her musical career started, and the musical element of the film is presented as her various stage performance gigs instead of it being like a “the music is the script” type scenario.  this movie has arguably one of garland’s best performances on film, so im surprised that i only just found out about it when i was watching some videos about the history of A Star Is Born, but also i didnt know much about her filmography besides The Wizard of Oz anyways.

the third sequel, filmed in 1976, is the one that no one really remembers or talks about despite it starring the legendary Barbara Streisand (it doesnt even show up on the list of options on IMDb when u type in “A Star Is Born” which is kinda sad).  esther/vicki is still a musician in this one, but this time shes a Rock Musician cause its the ‘70′s and rock n’ roll is god.  her character is also vastly different than the previous two, who dont have a lot of agency in their own lives due to them being women and it being the ‘40′s/’50′s.  this esther is a go-getter, independent and an activist, who plays around with gender norms and hyphenates her last name with her husband’s instead of taking his on fully.  i havent seen this one yet but ive heard its not really the best of the bunch despite having streisand at the helm, but it did still win an oscar for best original song.

ok so now we have the newest addition to the family!  Bradley Cooper’s take on this classic story is kind of a mish-mosh of different elements from each of its predecessors, taking the rock musician storyline from barbara’s and the subplot about changing the lead’s identity from the first two.  one thing that is pretty much the same amongst all four of these however is the real meat of the story: the romance.  esther/vicki/ally’s love interest and eventual husband (a movie star by the name of norman maine in the first two, a rock star named norman howard in the third, and a country rock star named Jackson Maine in this one) stays about the same character-wise in all iterations, with a few tweaks here and there.  he discovers esther/ally performing, is infatuated with her, and helps her in some way to advance her career and propel her to stardom, all while the two fall in love and get married.  norman/jackson has one really big vice in his life however: alcoholism (and in the 1976/2018 versions drug abuse is tacked on).  this provides the tragedy for this love story, as norman/jackson cant seem to get a handle on his addictions, plus he has a hard time seeing his wife skyrocket into fame when his own career is swiftly going down the shitter.  theres a big scene in which he sabotages her acceptance speech at an award show (whether it be an oscar or a grammy), she considers putting her career on hold to take care of him, and due to the overwhelming amount of guilt he feels over all this he commits suicide.  and then the final scene is some iteration of esther/vicki/ally doing a tribute to her late husband, either in a speech with the original vicki or a singing performance with the three others. 

i had planned on watching all of the other three A Star Is Born’s in preparation to write this review but i never got the chance to watch Garland and Streisand’s takes, so all i can really compare this new one to is the original.  but man i gotta say when i watched A Star Is Born 2018 in theaters i cried like a wee baby, that shit was an emotional gut-punch, and the original was really good but didnt give me that same visceral reaction.  im a real sucker for character-driven stories and this movie fits the bill.  this is the most complex and nuanced norman/jackson’s character has ever been, whereas in the other versions hes just kind of a stuck-up jerk who is jealous of his wife and doesn’t know how to handle it.  in this one he has a soul, u can understand how he got to be the way he is, which makes his ultimate demise all the more heartbreaking. 

as far as esther/ally’s character goes, i feel like i’d like judy garland’s take more than lady gagas even though i havent even seen the 1954 version yet.  but from the clips i have seen of it judy really knocks it out of the park, we really get to see how torn up she is over her husbands struggles and she gets real damn vulnerable.  ally’s a great character dont get me wrong, shes independent and self-sufficient like streisand’s esther but with the moments of vulnerability that garland’s esther had, all sprinkled with a dash of realness.  with this ally, we get to see more of her life like where she grew up and what her family’s like, which helps contextualize the kind of person she is.  however im afraid that this new script almost gave jackson a little TOO much character to where hes suddenly the star of the show and ally almost feels like a supporting character when this is literally her story.  so idk man it kinda feels like bradley cooper like hijacked the script so that he’d have a bigger role in the movie

ANYWAYS fuck where do i go from here ive already written so much uuhhhhh ok

ok ok ok ok ok ok

do i like this movie???  yeah its really good!!  i’d say it deserves the screenplay and cinematography noms cause this movie does look fantastic and despite some shortcomings the script is also solid.  as far as the acting noms go, bradley cooper for sure deserves his, he acted the shit outta this role and really brought jackson to life.  lady gaga’s nom im a little iffy on even though i was pleasantly surprised by her turn at this classic character.  i think the script also really played to her strengths and allowed her to shine, cause she was kind of essentially playing herself.  BUT bradley cooper was able to coax out of her the best acting performance ive seen from her so far, so im excited to see where her acting career goes from here and see how she grows in this new facet of her life. 

so lets get back to the whole best picture debate again.  i think the main reason why im so reluctant to say that this really deserves that nom is that im kinda tired of hollywood rehashing the same movies over and over again, no matter how good the remakes end up being.  i want a new and fresh story to get a chance, something that’ll really shake up the industry and get its blood pumping again.  which is why im excited that a movie by yorgos lanthimos has a shot at best picture this year, cause heres a director whos trying something different.  A Star Is Born getting a best picture nom just feels to me like hollywood and the academy going with what they know works, whats safe and tried and true. 

however from a purely objective standpoint, i mean i cant deny this film is really REALLY good.  even the music is fantastic, its been a few months since i saw the movie in theaters and “Shallow” still gets stuck in my head every so often.  so u know, i wouldnt be too too mad if it does end up winning.

wow ive been writing for a long ass time my poor lil phalanges are about to fall off, im gonna end this rant here!  lemme know what y’all think, whats the scoop, whats the dealio, all that jazz

hopefully one of these days ill have time to sit down and watch The Ballad of Buster Scruggs so that’ll probably be my next review, and then i gotta carve out some time to get my lil butt into a theater to see uuhhh everything else!!  stay tuned y’all this movie train aint stoppin anytime soon we’re going ALL THE WAY BABBIIIEEEE YEEHAAAWWWWW

[livingasaghost]

tonight is a good night for thinking time with jenna so buckle up babes

first of all let me just say that i apologize to everyone for being a pretentious asshat bc that is my natural state of being. i have very high standards and when i know something or have an opinion, i will make sure you know you’re wrong. recently realized this is a flaw of mine and i would like to improve upon it in the future. 

second, uh remember when i used to watch game of thrones?? when it first was airing in like 2011? remember when i READ THE BOOKS?? it has now been 4 years since i read a dance with dragons and i’ve forgotten almost everything about that world and i feel so free from that drama and chaos. however, i keep seeing random gifs from the newer seasons and i *almost* want to dip my toe back in the water just so i can hate watch it. but i know that will lead to intense binging and serious addiction like it did in the past, and also imma be REAL mad the whole time either because A) it’s really enjoyable or B) they’re still doing the same shit they did in season 5 which made me want to scream. at this point though i can’t claim that i don’t wanna watch bc of spoilers bc like honestly we are not getting winds of winter and i no longer even care about any of it. anyway, that’s me reasoning that i shouldn’t pick up GOT again even though part of me wants to. end of rant.

BABY DRIVER WAS SUCH A COOL MOVIE AND I GET THE HYPE NOW. was it the best ever? no. however, i LOVE the musicality of it - especially that opening scene - and i think *most* of the cast is pretty cool. also it made me miss the days of ipods. 

i have now reached peak marvel fangirl - aka i am now the type of person who watches the same four movies again and again and again and again in the same month just because it’s all i want to watch. they’re just so comforting!!! and by they i mean my holy quintet - ragnarok, gotg 1+2, homecoming, & black panther. i don’t think i can get sick of those movies ever. 

this weekend i spent my time reorganizing and deleting a bunch of files on my laptop & hard drives & computer and i feel a lot better. it took some time since i have so many files (bad jenna) but i think i’m getting better at this whole getting rid of stuff thing! my life is slowly becoming more manageable and i’m really proud of that fact. i’m doing the things i said i was gonna do! (aside from getting my oil changed oops) 

in other news, music is really great and i want to buy so many albums right now wowee

ALSO THERE’S LIKE 2 MONTHS TIL I SEE TAYLOR FOR THE FIRST TIME THIS YEAR

i am currently <50 subs away from 15k and that’s SO COOL

even though i have a lot of jobs this week for work i’m honestly kind of relieved bc i’ve been sitting alone in my room for like three days straight and it’s really unhealthy for me oops

my birthday is in like a month basically! wow! 23! is coming! so fast! i wanna be 22 forever i think it’s been my most memorable age. also i’m scared ppl are gonna forget or be too busy for my birthday party/photoshoot so uh THATS FUN (legit if this one fails i am admitting defeat and never throwing anything for my birthday ever again i am so sick of people bailing on me when i just want to have a nice time with the people i love)

in other news i have felt so disconnected from my roommates and i know it’s all my fault bc i’m selfish and i want to be alone rather than with the people but i don’t know how to snap out of it and fix myself and go be with them all again

MY SKIN HATES ME AGAIN I SWEAR IT’S LIKE I’M IN SEVENTH GRADE ALL OVER AGAIN (okay not quite that bad but definitely worse than it’s been in a while). i just don’t get why it’s so baaaad.

so anyway ive been watching a lot of favorites videos from krist and basically i want to buy all these hella expensive products that i don’t need just bc she does such a good job selling me on them. i literally got perfumey body spray the other day bc i was like YEAH KRIST IS RIGHT I NEED A SIGNATURE SCENT like no you don’t jenna stop 

i watched a video a few nights ago about motivation and how you have like 5 seconds before you fall back into bad habits and honestly i am working really hard this year to make little changes in my life but i think that piece of advice was super helpful. I WILL OVERCOME MYSELF TO BE BETTER. I WILL STOP IGNORING HOW UNHEALTHY I AM. I AM WORTH THE WORK. 

as i was typing this i had a minor moment of WOW NOTHING IN THIS WORLD MATTERS where i realized i’ve done nothing with my life recently and i don’t hang out with anyone and i’m kinda lonely but ITS FINE EVERYTHINGS FINE at least i hailee texts me back sometimes -sigh-

- edit; upon thinking more about skin i have come to the realization that my shitty diet is honestly probably what is making my skin hate me! i never really believe people who use that excuse for bad skin but like honestly it’s probably true and ya girl has been eating like a 12 year old boy for um about four years now? so maybe i should fix that? i guess april is all about eating good food now? and drinking water that too

- edit2; i am now sitting here looking up skincare products recommended by youtubers and honestly i could spend like $100 right here right now on products i probably don’t need but sound FUN. who have i become. what am i hedwig.

[iameverything]

A Conversation: Kid Karate

“Kid Karate are a rock band from Dublin, Ireland. The trio, consisting of Kevin Breen on vocals and guitar, Ian McFarlane on bass, and Steven Gannon on drums, combine a cacophony of influences to create music that is simultaneously familiar yet unlike anything else.”

First off, for people who dont know, who is Kid Karate? Kid Karate are a 3 piece punk/rock band from dublin ireland, it’s members are Kevin Breen guitar and vocals, Ian McFarlane bass and Oisin Trench drums

The first time Iv heard of you guys was in a couple shows called The Royals and Banshee, and also a video game called Far Cry 5. Did you guys ever intentionally picture your music being featured in TV shows and video games? Not in the slightest, sure the royals ad was played during the superbowl, 'like holy shit man' ya know? Never in our wildest dreams did we think we'd be doing any of this. Touring America multiple times, going around America with a film crew for the vice thing link: https://youtu.be/10sTK4vqjJo. Having our songs in tv shows and games is wild, I had totally forgotten about the far cry 5 one and i was playing the game and the song came on, for a second i got a little freaked out...

How is that process anyway? Does the royalties pay off? To me it seems like magic, write a song send it sometimes just receive an email asking permission, its wild.

When I first heard your music on those shows, I instantly downloaded your 2016 compilations album and it was magnificent. You guys have since put out an ep and a couple singles. How has the writing process been for the upcoming album? Thank you. We've a group of songs we just recorded and plan to release real soon maybe we will put them out one by one. The song "the neck" is quite different but has me excited, it is kind of a mix of lightening bolt and john cooper Clarke. Ive also just purchased a bunch of synths and with all this self isolation I might have to produce something solo, could be fun. I live in my studio so lots of down time could be good for my music. Watch this space or follow me @kevinbreen or @kidkaratemusic

What can fans expect from the upcoming album? Will it have a different direction musically? More synths hahaha

When I think of your music and the feel of it, I than think of groups like Death From Above 1979 and Royal Blood. Do those bands or bands alike inspire you guys? Death from above are one of my all time favourite bands and the reason i started a band, royal blood not so much...

Lets talk Kid Karate the origin story. You guys hail from Dublin, Ireland. What was that like starting a rock band there and how many road bumps were hit to get to where you guys are today? Nobody tells you what to do, what path to go down, how to be successful or make a living. There's no industry for music in Ireland like in the states so for most people it is hard to see a full time career making music as something that is possible. We're lucky we've gotten to work with so man great people in America and if we didn't go to America when we did, we probably wouldn't be a band now, probably nobody would've ever heard about us.

What advice do you give bands or even individuals that are overlooked and told no, even if their craft is immaculate? Just keep trying and trying and trying. Theres a million talented musicians on YouTube, persistence is key!

What is one thing that is often overlooked as a band that you guys have found a struggle? Mental health problems that rise out of the uncertainty of working in music

You guys released a single called Fake News (Flat Earth) in 2018 from your ep Newspeak. How has this 'Fake News' society changed your mindset on the world today? And what do you think of 'Flat Earthers'? Fake news is more about the total Sensory overload of media and conspiracy theory's on YouTube that its hard to know what's really going on, but that's how 'they' want you to feel. Flat Earthers are just confused people that have been let down by society.

Side note: Do 'Flat Earthers think just the earth is flat? Or all the planets are flat too? Lol

Speaking of singles, the recent singles you guys put out was 'Hate' and I have to say I definitely dont hate it at all ahah. What does that song mean to you guys? How did it come to be? Glad you like. But im not one for getting into song meanings, the artist is only 50% of the work the listener the other 50%, it means what ever you need it to mean for you in that moment.

One of my favourite questions I like to ask bands is; If someone was unfamiliar with Kid Karate what song would you guys recommend out of your catalogue of amazing songs, that would sum up exactly whom Kid Karate is musically? I think 'two times' is a good all rounder but my new favorite song is 'i feel so free' because shit just hits different

Lastly I am going to ask 5 rapid fire questions, give the answer that comes to mind first If you were not called Kid Karate what else would you want to be called? Fu kung Best City to play in? New York Guilty Pleasure? I don't know what this means Best underrated artist? Death Grips Favorite song that isnt your own? Physco killer

[open-your-iz-blog]

GET TO KNOW KPOP’S NEWEST BAND: IZ (아이즈)

hello guys! so this was kind of requested and I have been asked a lot of questions about them..so let me finally (and briefly) introduce them to you!

INTRODUCTION:

IZ (아이즈; pronounced ‘EYES’) is a new kpop band that consists of 4 members, who debuted on august 31st, 2017 under MUSICK Entertainment. They have been training for 3 years and has performed at many high schools (even their own) and busking events. 

Some FAQ:

1. What does ‘IZ’ stand for?

it’s a combination of the first roman numeral ‘I’ and ‘Z’ being the last letter of the alphabet meaning, as one member (Hyunjun) said: it means that we will always honor our passion for music and love our fans from beginning till the end.

2. Do they have a slogan?

yes they do, “OPEN YOUR IZ” I love it, they are so unique.

3. What is their fan club name?

ILUV (아이럽) ; meaning IZ LOVE UNTIL FOREVER :)

4. How old are they?

* their average age is 18, just finishing high school, but considered minors so i just wanted to say please don’t sexualize thank you. 

IZ debuted with a wonderful song called ‘다해’  (All you want) please watch and stream it as many times as you can on youtube and vlive!!! share it with your friends!!!

now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for…

MEMBER PROFILES:

JIHOO (지후)

real name: lim/im soojung (임수정)

position: leader and vocalist

birthday: august 5th, 1998 (oldest)

hobby: reading

HYUNJUN (햔준)

real name: lee hyunjun (이현준)

position: guitar, ‘happy vitamin’ & visual

birthday: december 21st, 1999

hobby: watching movies

WOOSU (우수)

nickname: ‘smiley’

position: drums (sometimes mistaken as maknae ㅋㅋ)

birthday: november 23rd, 1999

hobby: watching movies

JUNYOUNG (준영)

position: bass guitar (maknae)

birthday: september 23rd, 2000

hobby: listening to music

here’s a random photo of them holding a rose lol, so ethereal

and also, mark your calendars because IZ will perform their ‘HOT DEBUT’ on Music Bank, tomorrow at 5PM KST! (170901)

ive could have done my formatting better but its okay lol..

i’ll try my best to keep you updated with their activities ‘n stuff here while posting gifs (so im kinda a gif blog/sorta fanbase like) but if you have any more questions, feel free to ask me anytime! thank you guys and continue to support iz! 아이럽~

[nachobra]

hey i did nothing productive today loool i needed a day to recharge after bein around a lotta ppl for 2 days. my plan was to finally finish a dk64 speedrun because its like at least a 6 hour time commitment & i never finish bc adhd :shrug: i got about halfway but lost momentum so RIP, some other day....

i really need to like, devote my free time to things that arent playing the same games over & over trying to beat them in one sitting, i need to like, be productive. i wanna draft the next few bitgirl pages. ive been wanting to experiment with watercolors bc i really love them & have just never taken the time to really learn how to use them well. i wanna record music, like start writing songs. im reluctant to start bc idk ive never been able to write lyrics that dont embarass me. but thats just how it goes, yr first attempts at a new art form are gonna suck but if you take the time to develop the skill & keep workin it eventually it sucks less. theres prob a whole tangent i could get on abt feeling self conscious about my voice but w/eeeeee

& yknow i have like new games that ive bought & just havent played yet. like i have the new metroid & a hat in time & i got mario odyssey for crimbus but i dont know why i forgoe (sp?) playing interesting new games in favor of playing something ive played a million times. i guess i just enjoy that moment of just kinda zoning out watching youtube, running through a game, sippin coffee, on a ritalin high & everythings interesting & cool. idk idk idk

2018 i really need to actually think about my future career wise. i cant afford to go back to school (i know loans exist but im not touching that shit) & i only see myself willingly moving back home if i was in dire straits. i need to figure out A) am i dead set on having a job doing artsy stuff or would i be willing to learn how to code & do some of that, B) do either of these fields absolutely 100% require a degree for any job, or can i get a foot in the door by honing my skills & making a good portfolio and C) if its the latter, will i have the dedication to do those things or will i be lazy & play video games & act like things will just fall into place. if its the former, do i take back what i said & move back home or take out loans & go back to school even though i know i wont enjoy a second of it, or do i just work retail indefinitely & hope one day i get lucky & become Internet Famous & can somehow make money & connections that way???

im a little scared for the future, but a lot of things happened this year i never wouldve expected going into it, & all these things happened from me pushing myself out of my comfort zone, and each time its gotten easier. im assuming this post is p incoherent since its like all stream of consciousness but thems the breaks. i guess its just easier to sort through my thoughts when its all in text & im not suddenly jumping from like job decisions to hey isnt the internal numbering of simpsons episodes goofy? i guess im just writing this bc when i try to journal i write so sloppily trying to keep up with my brain that it all becomes illegible. anyway, hey emily in the morning; maybe set some goals for the next year! just a suggestion!

postscript: wouldnt it be fucked up if i just turned this acct into like a normal blog (aka web log) & just wrote about my life. like whomst does that lmaooo

[ministryofgamers]

The FIX - Bren

I’ve been doing YouTube for a LONG time now, well 8 years certainly sounds like a long time to me.. but eerily doesn’t feel like a long time. We’ve been through so many changes and trails, trying different things, making movies, TV shows, Interviews, Press events... you name it, as a content creator for the video game community I’ve made it. I’ve always wanted to be a successful youtuber when it came to video-games, these days that usually means you have to figure out a silly name and play lots of games and make a fool of yourself (and yeah i’ve done that too). A youtube star is someone that has millions of followers, uploads daily, sometimes twice daily, but I have none of those things... does that mean i’m not successful? I dont’ think so. I’ve conducted interviews with lead game designers, been to top tier invite only press functions, had 2 shows on UK TV for video games, a movie, and run an active community driven youtube channel that has a great gathering of awesome people. So why is it that I feel like I’ve failed somehow? is it because I didn’t find the right audience? is it because I didn’t get launched to super stardom for my time as a games journalist... would I even want that if it came knocking... i’m not even sure I would like it to be honest. It's strange, I've always felt like I’ve wanted to be successful in making video content, films, art, always wanted to entertain and make something that would make someone say “wow” and I have done that, but on a small scale.

Now on Youtube I see things are very different, attention spans are miniscule, kids are starting channels left right and centre, no knowledge of how to frame a good shot, how to use a decent microphone, no knowledge on how to make a proper video... vertical videos of cats being dicks, fail videos, pranks, challenges, all of that stuff to me is benine crap,  redundant. I feel the same about reality TV and how most formats prey on schadenfreude( german phrase meaning "to take pleasure in anothers missfortune") I find it nausiating that television, for the most part, has become so mundane, fuelled by adverts and les than average production values. I recently watched a shocking piece of output form the BBC where they seem to have forgotten that sound levels are important... as well as whitebalance and did the OP forget his tripod? Hand held is ok, but this chap looked like he'd had a bit too much rum in his coffee that morning.  

Anyway, back to Youtube. I'm a part of a few "small youtuber" groups on facebook, basically if you don't have 500,000 subs these days you are considered to be pretty small time. And in these groups I see thousands of the same posts everyday "yay i got 20 subs" or "how many views do i need before i can monetize." and the best one "sub for sub anyone?" honestly pretty much everyone on those groups that i've looked at (except one or two) literally have no fucking idea what they are doing and couldn't make a video if it meant saving their own life. Time and time again I see the same shit, constantly. It honestly makes me Wince at the thought that these kids are about to embark on the most dissapointing crusade of thier lives.  I started youtube in 2009 and it was a bloody good time to do so as there were pretty much no such thing as lets plays or video game shows etc... we had an amazing show, 4 presenters, heavily edited reviews, sketches, comedy! And best of all we were in with the big boys, interviewing people I never thought i'd ever get to meet!  "But Bren, why didn't you just keep going with that?" Well, thats a whole different story and i'll just sum it up by saying there were differences of opinion and it fell apart.

Starting GameGazmTV was very freeing... I had decided that I needed a platform where I didn't care too much about what content I put on it... I had boxed up my camera equipment and used a phone to film most of the stuff for it... we slapped half naked manga girls all over it with flames and rock music in the hope that we would offend someone enough to just come and look at the channel... even the name "GameGazm" was fucking ridiculous. It wasn't long before we started to slowly change everything. Removing the semi naked girls, and some "dead weight" and started to clean up the brand... but it didn't do anything really.. I started to slip back into the "everything must be good" routine, so started heavily editing videos again, making bigger productions, adding more visual effects to everything... graphical updates, weekly updates, started doing let's plays for more content, live streams... then by year 4 we changed the name fully to Ministry of Gamers in the hope of finally shedding the GameGazm crappy beginnings. And now I've suddenly realised... that I hate most of it... I look back at a lot of our content and pretty much 90% of it I could throw in the bin and no one would bat an eyelid. The content I love the most on our channel is 2 videos... Solstice and Top Gun. 2 videos that I think are actually really worth watching... the rest of them i'm not that bothered about... but solstice and top gun both took 6 weeks each to make... thats a lot of time... and then the most successful video on our channel is a video about a fucking controller that we shot in an hour because we thought "why not" I couldn't give a crap about that controller... but its the only video that i've spent the least amount of time on and its the most successfull thing ive ever made.... talk about a kick in the teeth... thats some way to really get yourself down.

Up until this point if you asked me is YouTube worth doing, should I start a channel? I would have said " yeah its really fun to do, and totally worth it." but ask me right now? i'd say "no... don't do it.. its really not worth the stress you'll put yourself through, its not worth seeing comments like "shut up and stop reviewing games you fat cunt." on a video that you spent DAYS writing, recording, editing.  Its not worth making any video that takes you longer than an hour to do, because honestly... your effort is the last thing youtube gives a crap about." Youtube does not care if you stayed up for a week straight slaving over an edit, making sure your colours are good, sound is balanced, Youtube doesn't care if you spent days crafting a CGI intro for your channel, making custom graphics, building a brand! It DOESN'T CARE... but make a controller video, slap it up, and youtube will give you £300 and a pat on the head..... great... just film your cat doing something retarded and you'll be a millionaire in no time. don't worry about talent... its not required here.

Basically youtube isn't the kind of platform I would like to be on. But not being on Youtube is like saying "I don't want to be on the biggest viewing platform available." throughout my video carrer I've only ever really been interested in making content about videogames. It's my passion so what else would I do? I have a couple of thoughts about other avenues I could explore. But if I really cared about them then I would have been doing it already. No I still care about making content for videogames but now its time to change the focus... change the direction because something has to change... i'm no longer going to use youtube as a platform to give content thats about something else.. i'm going to make it about ME and my team as people, its not a show anymore. I want it to document OUR struggle, OUR journey through a project, how we as people are focused on making entertainment. Youtube doesn't need another gaming channel, it needs to hear about how crushingly difficult it is to get anywhere with content creation, and thats where I want to be now. I'll be working on something I really care about, and i'll provide updates to that on youtube.

I can't keep going the way I have been, a constant viscious circle of dissapointment and failiure, over and over. I'm done trying to fill a gap that just doesn't need to be filled. There are other ways I can use my time and thats the most precious thing to all of us.. becasue there really isnt' that much of it.

Why have I written this? I guess to just put it all down somehwere other than my head.. the more I write at the moment the more I feel it leaving me.. literally like ive turned a tap on and the water was filthy and its slowly starting to clear up. My main point to all of this though was to fully understand why i'm so successful at failing, I make incredible work that never gets anywhere and no one really cares that much about, but its still MY work, and even if only one person sees it and is entertained by it, then to me, i've won. So in closing, I am a youtuber, and a fucking successful one.  And no one really knows it...... yet, and of course i'll never give up, I firmly believe I have something to offer a wide audience, i'm not quite sure what that is yet, but I feel like its my mission to figure it out, I owe it to myself to keep trying! and always give my best. Take pride in what you do, and if you believe in something enough, you will get it... after a long bitter road of absolute mental turmoil.... you'll get it.

Bren.

[penpalworldwide]

Mama Mia That is One Spicy Meatball

Hello! My name is Haley and I am 19 from Canada. Ive done this once before on a different page, but thought hey why not try again right?

Alright. Gunna put it out there- I really like memes and that is about 98 percent of my personality so we have to be on the same page with that. I also watch quite a lot of Youtube (H3H3, Dunkey, Jacksfilms, CowChop, Oney Plays, SuperMega, Game Grumps, Cyprien, and some Monster Factory) I could talk for ages about youtube stuff fyi.

I also play some video games. At the moment I am kind of obsessed with the switch so I have been playing a lot of Splatoon 2 and Breath of the Wild. (I am open to adding peeps so I can cream u in Splatoon, its my jam)

I should also say I love music (alternative rock/ indie/ 80’s/ a bit of folk) and I can play the guitar, piano, and ukulele. I can also speak english and french. Im also really into art- I am going to art school next year so I love to draw/ would be interested in doing art swaps :P

Alright so feel free to contact me through my tumblr which is @halbow , or you can email me at haley.bow12@gmail.com . Thanks v much and I hope to hear from you :P

Papa Bless

[kindofsharethat]

so last night people were sharing stories of how they became larries and i thought i’d make a big (emphasis on big) ol list of them because i found them really fun to read

I've been a 1D fan since 2013 and my sister and i always thought that l&h looked so good together but only the bromance and we're like "omg larries destroyed their friendship poor eleanor 1!1!1!", then in 2015 the "i'm gay pretty unfortunate isn't eleanor ?" happened and i was like WHAAT???? and i ended up searching more and more about larry (bc it was the only thing that came to my mind) and i found the videos and then i told my sister and then here we are.

I became a larrie because someone in my dash who rarely post about 1D posted the first louis/fred pic and tagged it babygate. So I went looking into the tag and found everything. I had doubt but then i saw the moment where H touch L arm and i was in! I actually became a fan of the music after. I've done everything in reverse with this band! But when i entered the fandom in feb2016 and i was hopping to see it all end like a month later! But hey, still here! And loving it mostly! End it!

it was 2011 and my friend told me she had found a really good song and the singers were so cute, she showed me wmyb video and i spent the whole day listening to it and then in the evening i wanted to find out more about these 5 guys. i started watching video diaries ans i was looking for the next one but i accidentally clicked "best larry moments" video aaand the rest is history

I became a larrie after aimh tweet hits 2m and everyone on all of my social media started freaking out even though I didn't follow any 1D blogs so I started search about them and now I'm here also at that time I was kinda homophobic 'cause I live in russia and grown up in middle eastern family and now I'm proud lesbian who knows a lot about LGBTQ+ history so thank you to my larents and 1D for making me gay lol 🌈💕

i was a fan since 2011 but didnt know about larry bc i was young and didnt have any social media but around 2013-2014 my friend showed me the "are you and louis dating" vid and i was like the mr krabs meme bc i just couldnt understand why larry would have to be covered up so i went home and watched "why elounor is fake" videos and my eyes were open and ever since that day ive been a larrie and i regret not knowing sooner but im here now !!

i saw the daddy daddy cool tweet and was like dude that's the wrong type of daddywtf? & I hadn't heard about a pregnancy? then a week later I had read the treatise and had a side blog and watched all the freddieismyqueen videos & was in way too deeeep lol. I've never been around when they weren't on the break even, I'm so confused about how I got here but now I can't escape 😝I had never even listened to their music before but then I also did that and was like damn they're so good?!

I just remembered going out once and being quite tipsy when DMD video came on so I pointed to Louis and Harry and said 'they're in love, but shh nobody can know' and one of my friends looked at me with a WTF?? expression on her face and said 'but I thought that was common knowledge'. Mind you, she still doesn't even know their names, let alone anything else. That was around the time bg was still a fresh wound and I'll never forget it bc it was so nice to hear it and also my hangover was a bitch.

I got interested in 1D right after their last concert, like right on Halloween. I became a Larrie that very same day too, right after i read Dan Wattpad's infamous "Harry and Louis hate each other". I saw articles floating around saying how they were enemies, reason for Zayn leaving...blah blah. I was sceptical, then i came across the famous OTRA hug, and i was like, no fucking way they hate each other, not with how they are hugging. I then delved into YT and discovered freddieismyqueen. Bless.

I joined july 2014 (2 months after they 've passed my country ouch) and was instantly hooked because this shit is like crack. Today I'm the darkest larrie that exists preaching the word for everyone who'll listen. I can WAIT for their CO because I have a party prepared? I literally have a wine since 2014 in my cellar that I'm only going to open the day they're free, I have nauthical theme stocked for the party. My friends just know that they have to come and that I'll be crying the whole month!!

weirdly enough i became a larry cos of that stupid channel 4 documentary id never heard of larry or gay shipping or whatever before that and i saw that and i was very mr krabs meme and i looked into it saw that it wasn't evil and gross like they were portraying it and never turned back

I joined the fandom in late 2012 and I wasn't a larrie but I wasn't an anti either i just hadn't looked into it but then i remember during the confirmation of bg on gma i felt bad for harry and i didnt really know why and I was surprised by my own reaction. Then with bg going on I started to realise that none of that could be real I did my research and I've been a larrie ever since :)

I joined the fandom in 2012, used to think Elounor was real but just because I never looked into it and I knew some people thought Larry was real at the time so I checked this insta page that debunked Elounor and I have no regrets 💙💚

When I become a 1D fan, in 2012, I liked elounor and I liked Eleanor unfortunately. I was not that into fandom things so I wasn't paying attention to details. But my whole view changed in 2014 when they came to South America for the WWAT and all those rumors in Argentina with the hotel room and Brazil that was an experience and I was like "ok something is happening here between them" and here I am, 4 years later and going strong as a larrie. I'm on the winning team 😌💅🏼

I became a larrie when my friend first introduced me to fanfiction. I read a larry one and was totally amazed by it. After that, I switched between het ones and larry ones, but always came back to larry. After that, I simply became obsessed with the pair, something that made me fall in love with the band and all of them. I watched the dairies and everything, and just saw how clear their infatuation was. Tumblr and a lot of other sites just simply proved the theory even more. No regrets ❤

i became a larrie late novemeber after a month of being in the 1d fandom. i watched freddieismyqueen videos and other proofs for hours everyday (especially over thanksgiving break)

I wasn't even a fan of 1D, but while I was looking for pictures of them to do a collage for a friend, I found one in which Louis and Harry were looking at each other and, damn, I can't explain what I felt, I just knew it. So, I was trying to figure out if I was the only one thinking there was something between this two, and it turned out I wasn't! I discovered tumblr, and I spent 3 days reading post, watching videos and proofs and...here I am, 3 years after, being the larriest larrie

I became a 1d fan when uan tour had just started and like. I watched all the damn youtube videos in about a week and I noticed that in the video diaries on the stairs they were so ~cozy, and they were so Extra™ on stage and hl weren't like that with the other boys. They just emanated the feelings I suppressed: Ultra Gay. And yeah. That's how it Began for me

I became a larrie when I watched the behind the scenes of wmyb and Louis was saying "I've gotta say it" and Harry was all over him and hid his face in Louis' shoulder and said "no!"

Same like that previous anon i hadnt even considered two guys being more than friends bc of where i grew up. But just watching proof videos of them for a while i kind of realized how in love they were. Thats when i started thinking about how different and colorful the world actually is compared to what I've learned from the people i grew up around

I became a larrie when my friend and I would watch their video diaries together, and I would see the way h&l acted with each other. I mentioned it to my friend and she was like yeah, Larry, and she showed me one YouTube video so I spent weeks watching every single one I could find, all these years later and I've come to accept theres no way to crawl out of this 😂

are we sharing larrie stories? my friend became a fan early 2012 (and a larrie) and was adamant on making me on too, and I finally gave in summer 2013. I rmr the day after TCAs that year, niall tried to do a twitcam and idr how but some article got written abt the twitcam that included a link to those 'you just have to pay attention' videos. I marathoned them all, and it was that arm moment that zayn failed to hide that #sealed it. though my friend gave me the skinny on haylor back in 2012~

i was like a super casual fan since their first album. my friend introduced them to me cuz she was crushing on zayn. i just knew their music but not actually them. i became a larrie during weedgate. weird timing, i know. i saw it on the news and got curious about what was going on. saw the video then got to know about the boys individually through past vids. i started from the very start from the xf vid diaries. those two, not subtle AT ALL. and well, the rest was history.

i was in entirely different fandom back in 2014, but one of my follower turns into a liam stan and starts to post about 1d and there was a post about how harry and louis can't touch each other and i thought that was really weird weren't they bandmates?? then i started digging around and stumble into a treatise blog. here i am now hahaha

I got into this fandom because of my best friend. She showed me week 4 diary video... and I was like are those two in a relationship?? I pointed at louis and harry and she said no why? And I was like I don't know they seem cozy together and I pointed out that harry was staring at louis lips... she didn't believe me first but now she is a larrie😂 So basically I got into this fandom knowing larry is real

I became a fan of the boys 4 years ago. I read about Larry and that fans believed they were together so I went on YouTube and saw some videos and read some stories (I think it was here on tumblr??) and I immediately believed they were together. There wasn't a particular moment for me, it was a lot of things. Probably, above all, the way they looked at each other. They never looked at someone else so fondly. And 4 years later I keep saying the same thing 💖

for me, i always thought louis was gay from way back in 2011 but i didn't really think of harry's sexuality cause i wasn't like a stan i was just a casual fan [which is why it confuses me when people say that if larry isn't real, louis is straight and horrible, no...he still gay as hell babe]. anyway i became a larrie cause i used to really follow celeb gossip and when the news dropped, gossip sites/tabloids kept mentioning harry and larries everywhere so i decided to investigate and...here i am

[oldphandomgamesblog]

Soo.. I know our team's been working hard and (some) are still sleeping very late to work on their parts. 😴 What are the beautiful game makers doing? Catching up on sleep? Relaxing? 😎 How's life been?

Well for me, ive actually been quite busy with work, something that interfered with the games a lot, but besides that im reading and scrollin as per norm haha. I’m really looking forward to the games’ final challenge. Hope you all are taking care of yourselves too!- Levi(Other gms feel free to add on)

All you better be doing your homework and drinking lots of water! The games should not be a priority, make sure you put your well being and School ahead of it!- Sara

I have just been in school, sleeping and reading and of course being a mess because of feelings, hope you guys are great

-Mariana

I’m on holidays at the moment but I’ve only got two weeks left so I’ve been catching up on holiday homework (plus i got a whole lot of books at a second hand sale that I’m slowly making my way through) Don’t stay up too late and take care of yourselves!

- Mae

Today was my first day back to school, but before that I just stayed in my house and watched netflix for 3 days straight. Fun story: one of my instructors gave out “prizes” to students who answered his questions, but all of his prizes were things he took from his hotel room including a gourmet decaf coffee packet and a roll of toilet paper! I had a weird day back to school..

-Jennine

I have just been in school and doing a lot of shopping and homework. School before the game is my motto! -Michelle

I’ve been just taking care of myself and doing school projects and catching up with tv shows and youtube and listening to music. Stress is such a killer of mental health so everyone try to stay positive and not stress too much because stress got me to a really bad place in autumn:) -Anna