#ive connected the dots. ive connected them.

[ch0cocrave]

I just realized how short I am -_- /neg

I mean I've always knew it, my friends won't shut up about it, which gets kinda annoying sometimes :/

But when I walked through the hallway a couple minutes ago, everyone was towering over me and idk I just felt like crap... its something I can't control I know, but i'm just kinda tired of hearing " OMG YOU'RE SO SHORT LMAOOO "

" OH YEAH DID I TELL YOU YOU'RE SHORT?? "

One of my buddies literally wrote in my sketchbook "i'm taller than you" Which I mean that's funny and all, but you're not the short one that has to hear that every school day so idek

I go to this activity thing every Wednesday, and I've made a few friends there including my two besties >:], but one of them told me a couple weeks ago that they thought I was 13, based on my height. -_- LIKE HUH????? WE EVEN WENT CAMPING TOGETHER FOR A WEEK AND YOU DIDN'T CONNECT THE DOTS THAT I'M 15???? HUH?????

And when winter break comes around my friends are all gonna tease me saying that I should go back to work at Santa's workshop cause i'm basically an elf WOW DANG WOULD'VE NEVER GUESSED :D

I mean we were talking about how funny it would be on the day before spring break I dressed up in an elf costume and handed toys out which I guess that's funny but idk

Ive kinda grown to hate myself based on this...

I love my life/nsrs

[wdapteo]

the amazing digital circus is not on fire

[skyeoak]

The main difference between Archives and Protocol so far is that the Magnus Institute was a tea workplace and the OIAR is a coffee workplace

What makes a person a monster? Tea

What makes a monster a person? Coffee

[aulerean]

postmaster pearl and her *ahem* postmaster pigeons

[lakesbian]

nobody move. i've just successfully articulated the sentiment that taylor's power turns her into a panopticon because she was living in one & explained her trigger in a way i feel satisfied with for the first time in my life

the concept of the panopticon is not just about surveillance, but about creating an environment where people cannot be sure whether or not they are being surveilled, and thus must constantly act under the assumption that they are. which is exactly what happened to taylor--we see from when we first meet her in the school that she's anticipating attack from every possible direction to avoid it, and the one time she lets her guard down a fraction and assumes she's found a safe spot to hide from abuse, she's targeted with the juice spills. and this is after her trigger event, but it's clear she behaves this way because it was beaten into her over the entire course of the bullying. it's what she describes when she recounts the trigger:

“I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop.  But I made a friend, one of the girls who had sometimes joined in on the taunting came to me and apologized.  ...  Her approaching me and befriending me was one of the big reasons I could think the harassment was ending.  I never really let my guard down around her, but she was pretty cool about it. “And for most of November and the two weeks of classes before Christmas break, nothing.  They were leaving me alone.  I was able to relax.” I sighed, “That ended the day I came back from the winter break. I knew, instinctually, that they were playing me, that they were waiting before they pulled their next stunt, so it had more impact. I didn’t think they’d be so patient about it. I went to my locker, and well, they’d obviously raided the bins from the girls bathrooms or something, because they’d piled used pads and tampons into my locker. Almost filled it.”

the precise moment when she stopped consciously anticipating and preparing to react to abuse--when she relaxed, when she stopped acting as if the lack of danger didn't mean that she couldn't still be hurt at any time--is when she was brutally reminded that she's never safe. she's still in the panopticon. she isn't literally being watched every second, she isn't literally in lifelong danger of having her vulnerabilities exploited, but it feels like she is. she can never ever be sure she's safe.

so she triggers, and she gets a power that turns her into a panopticon, and lets her watch everyone right back. it lets her regain control by turning her into a source of danger that could attack anywhere, from any direction, any time, fully unexpected.

& the reason her power enables her to watch Everyone--not just a single person, or a few people--but Everyone, is that the other major aspect of her trigger is the trauma of facts like this:

“It was pretty obvious that they had done it before the school closed for Christmas, by the smell alone. I bent over to throw up, right there in a crowded hallway, everyone watching. Before I could recover or stop losing my breakfast, someone grabbed me by the hair, hard enough it hurt, and shoved me into the locker.”

"All I could think was that someone had been willing to get their hands that dirty to fuck with me, but of all the students that had seen me get shoved in the locker, nobody was getting a janitor or teacher to let me out."

for months, for years, she was in a community where everyone regularly witnessed her humiliation and abuse, and everyone, dozens and dozens of kids and teachers, either contributed to it or was knowingly, silently complacent. this is what sticks with her: the idea that she is so universally reviled, so deserving of revile, that any crowd of witnesses would, without hesitation, consign her to the filth of the locker.

what else is she supposed to conclude, but that everyone she interacts with is a threat? that she can't drop her guard ever again, because no one will be coming to help her if she does? of course she has to become the panopticon. of course she has to watch everyone, all of the time, if she wants to stop it from happening again. of course she has to live among the teeming lowly and crawling things she has been taught via one firm shove that she is worth less than, and of course she has to use them to watch everyone back. and it would be inaccurate to say that doing this--monitoring everything with her bugs--makes her feel safe. all it does is allow her to remain in a constant state of paranoia and traumatized hyper-vigilance more efficiently.

[dizzybizz]

they got that ND swag

these shirts man omg pls i love em so much

[ruporas]

green haired guy that has haunted my character types for 10+ years

[cynomain69]

maybe the real doomed yaoi was the hermanubis one sidedly pining for kasala all these years we met along the way

[yrsonpurpose]

I will no longer be the prince of shame and of secrets. Starting today, the world will know me for who I am and not who you want me to be.

[astronomodome]

lost dogs and old flames

(based on tags from @martynsimp69)

[faunandfloraas]

Lee Know and Seungmin + ATE.

[iridescentmirrorsgenshin]

Kaveh referring to the house the two share as ‘home’ to alhaitham, and alhaitham implicitly agreeing, saying that ‘my thoughts exactly’ which underscores how in tandem they have acted throughout the quest!?? i have THOUGHTS

Kaveh referring to the house as a ‘home’ solidifies that he sees alhaitham as a valuable companion, turning a 'house' into the 'home' which he sees as a place of comfort and understanding, in which words are not needed - which is referenced within this quest, with kaveh understanding alhaitham in needing help when researching the temple of silence, without alhaitham having to say anything

Him stating 'home' to alhaitham, as in, that he views the house they share as his ‘home’, signifies that a significant development has occurred in their relationship, with alhaitham seemingly implicitly confirming the same sentiment with ‘my thoughts exactly’, in relation to the two heading ‘home’ after stopping at the house of daena. This encapsulates the image of two as each other’s ‘home’ and ‘family’, which now is implied to be a shared sentiment... oh....,,,,

[grimalkinmessor]

The parallels between Tsubomi and Reigen drive me so fucking insane you have no idea like—that shit had to be at least SOMEWHAT intentional even if not in a specifically romantic way.

For one, Tsubomi and Reigen are two of the only few people that call Shigeo "Mob" consistently. (Yes Tome also calls him Mob eventually but she starts out calling him Kageyama-kun and likely picks up "Mob-kun" from Inukawa or Reigen later on). We don't know how Reigen started calling Shigeo "Mob", though we can assume that Tsubomi was likely part of the group of kids that originally misread Shigeo's name as Mobbu to begin with so she's less of a mystery on that front. Maybe Reigen saw it written on his backpack or his shirt tag and started calling him that too, or maybe Mob even just told him that that's what everyone else called him and was what he prefered to be called at the time. Either way, it's a little odd that Reigen's one of the only people who use that nickname when we don't really get a reason why beyond "it can also be read like this", especially since Reigen is a grown man with (presumably) full literacy of kanji and would know how to read it.

Then there's the other obvious parallel that's made in the show; how Tsubomi and Reigen treat Mob. How they see his powers. They're not special, they're just a part of him. Nothing to be scared of—even though they kind of,,,,are lmao. The fact that Tsubomi continues to sit in the park even though a literal hurricane is approaching because she thought Mob sounded upset on the phone happens at the same time Reigen goes sprinting full-tilt into said hurricane because Mob is in trouble always stands out to me. It's less obvious than Mob's own words: "She never treated me any differently because of my powers" "Master never treated me any differently..."—but it's still a pretty blatant parallel to me.

Not to mention that both Reigen and Tsubomi's personalities are actually very similar as well! They're both described as people that hide behind a mask, a facade, while still being brutally stubborn. If Tsubomi doesn't want to do something, she's not gonna do it. While Reigen is more laid back because he's used to getting his hands dirty for work (money), he's still very stubborn himself when he doesn't wanna do something. He'll find a way to wriggle out of it and talk circles around you if you let him. Dimple even says that Tsubomi is the type of person who can't be swayed by words or peer pressure. She and Reigen were actually, again, two of the only people brainwashed through airborne Vibes™ instead of through food like everyone else. The biggest difference between them on this is that while Reigen lies fairly blatantly, Tsubomi seems to only lie through omission. Tsubomi is more of an introvert too, compared to Reigen's extrovert (though you could argue that both of them are good with people, with the only difference being that Reigen enjoys being the center of attention while Tsubomi presumably does not).

Plus they're both pretty goofy too once you think about it lmao. They're both prideful and hate to be humiliated, but they also care a lot about their public image and how people perceive them. Every time the scene with Tsubomi and her friends outside cleaning up leaves comes up, her expressions and panic always remind me of Reigen. And then there's Mob, calm and unjudgemental, willing to help her with no questions asked. Mitigating her humiliation, just like he does for Reigen :)

Another thing that always strikes me is how Mezato says, "If you can accept her for who she really is..." followed by Reigen's echo during his confession: "This is who I really am". Mezato essentially tells Mob that Tsubomi isn't who she seems on the outside and that if he wants to be accepted by her, he needs to also be ready to accept her as well. Which, we don't get to see much of Tsubomi's life outside of Mob—wow just like Reigen—so we don't ever really know who she is beyond that outer mask, but we see her slowly opening up to Mob later, as a friend. But the fact that Reigen's own confession mirrors Mezato's words to Mob about him accepting Tsubomi always makes me vibrate in place a little like,,,Confession Arc my beloved 🙏

I don't know man, there's just so much there, it makes my head spin. I could go on and on about it but I better cut myself off because if I don't I'll start crawling on the walls going feral about it because what, what was the point of this if not to make it clear that the relationship between Mob and Reigen is supposed to parallel his relationship with Tsubomi like what do you MEAN—

[jout--jout]

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

...cinematic...parallels?