#izzy’s face tho

[meep-meep-richie]

Kabdjebskdbfn

[sketchy-scribs-n-doods]

i'm a little sad at how sparse steddyhands and stizzy art and writing is on here now after the finale (thankfully, i am still digging through the couple thousand fics up on ao3 so i'm not totally bereft)

because during the airing of the season there was new stuff in the tags every day, sometimes even every few hours, but i think the finale really punched all of us in the face

there's lots of good stuff from before s2 to go digging through of course, and ao3 and twitter still have some new art and fic and memes if you go looking for it, but the difference from before and now seems a bit stark

don't misunderstand me, this isn't me being defeatist, just being a bit melancholy (and mad at the s2 finale tbh lol) about it. shout out to the regulars i see in the tags still making stuff and posting jokes, ya'll are doing the most and i wish you all the passion and motivation and time to create in the world <3

[arsenicflame]

or: 11 songs about divorce & 1 song about having a glove kink (while your marriage is falling apart)

(lyric snippets & audios below the cut)

5 Years Into Marriage - Matt Owens & Hannah White

5 years into marriage And it's looking like we're almost done. I love you, I'm just not in love with you any more (no, no, no) Both floated down the aisle, Started taking each other for granted somewhere between- The pulpit and those church doors. Confetti kissed your face, And I trod it right into the floor. We can stick it out another ten years, and we probably will.

Barricade - Stars

I found you on a Saturday, and that was where I lost you You had to finally walk away because of what it cost you Years later on, I saw your face In line to catch the morning train You looked like you'd been softened Like you never really loved the pain

I Don't Want Love - The Antlers

If I leave before you, And I walk out alone, Keep your hands to yourself When you follow me home.

If You Love Me, You Will Lie - Out lines

And shouting through the bathroom door You said that I was keeping score Why can't we accept that there's no more We never say goodbye

It's Beginning To Get To Me - Snow Patrol

I tried to tell you before I left But I was screamin' under my breath You are the only thing that makes sense Just ignore all this present tense

Midnight Love - Girl In Red

I hope that the right time one day arrives So, I'll be willing to let this die Able to look you right in the eyes Say I'm not your consolation prize

Mothers - Daughter

You will grow all you need to grow inside my spine And then take what you need to take, what's yours is mine And then just give all you want of it to some new thing I'll stay here, the provider of that constant sting they call love

Nothing New - Rio Romeo

So, won't you please spare me indignity? And won't you please give me some decency? And won't you please call it if our time is through? 'Cause I know that we fall apart when nothing's new

Sometimes I Still Feel the Bruise - The Mountain Goats

Making contact gets harder As the silence grows longer Why would you think of me? When you were not the one in love When you were not the dreamer When you were just the dream I'm under no illusion As to what I meant to you But you made an impression And sometimes I still feel the bruise

Splinter - Scott Hutchison & James Graham

‘Cause I always took the cutting, And you only missed my heart Although it amounts to nothing, The nothing’s left it’s mark

The Modern Leper - Frightened Rabbit

Well, I crippled your heart a hundred times And still can't work out why You see, I've got this disease I can't shake and I'm just rattling through life Well, this is how we do things now Yeah, this is how the modern stay scared So I cut out all the good stuff Yeah, I cut off my foot to spite my leg

Wedding Gloves - Frightened Rabbit FT. Aiden Moffat

Do you even remember What we said in the vows? God was watching on Saturday But He is not with us now, with us now

[nano30cm]

im sure they all get along swimmingly

[chibi-scone]

Still can’t wrap my head around how Izzy shooting Ed was supposed to symbolize him “breaking up with Blackbeard” and have them go through that whole thing at the beginning of the season, to have Izzy be the one who tells Ed to follow what makes him happy, and have Izzy’s whole arc be about who he is without Blackbeard just for the finale to turn around and say that Izzy had to die because he was half of Blackbeard and that Ed couldn’t fully let go of Blackbeard otherwise.

[izzy-b-hands]

Also. URL change not bc I suddenly hate Ed or any of the other characters (not at all, and I'm still hoping the best for all of them in s3), but I figured someone else might like my old URL even more, so I decided to see what izzy related ones might still be available and wound up here (the b is for basilica lol)

Now this and the side blog have Izzy related URLS and I do love that for me

[sohnric]

gold stars – e. sohn

pairing: eric sohn x fem! reader

genre: friends (idiots) to lovers au. fluff. a sprinkle of hurt/comfort in some parts, a hint of college au!!

wc: 9.3k

warnings: mentions of alcohol, swearing, mention of toxic family behaviors, a joke about a praise kink. eric is an embarrassing loserboy but i love him sm

listen to: risk by gracie abrams

where everything eric sohn does is search for your approval, and where you reward him with a gold star sticker for every act of kindness. will you ever see him as more than just a friend?

a/n: thank you best friend @csenke for beta reading as always (i miss you deeply btw</33). also thank you @from-izzy for brainstorming with me and listening to me while i gushed about this silly fic idea. thanks @strayed-quokka lennon for giving me eric's insta username idea i will keep using it from now on in all fics AHAHA TT

If Eric was asked to pinpoint the exact moment where he started to rely on your validation, he wouldn’t really be sure of his answer. The truth is, somewhere deep inside of his soul, he knows the yearning has been there ever since he can remember, but the instance that is rooted in his memory as the core one– the one that made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside, like a teenager in love for the first time (which he wasn’t! Nor a teenager, not in love for the first time… right..?) – was one Thursday afternoon after he came home from taking his last exam of the semester to find a message from you waiting in his Instagram DMs. 

Breathlessly clicking at the notification (and now, this should’ve been a sign of his growing feelings for you), he is welcomed with the sight of you sharing a post with him. Wholesome, but still a little silly, a picture of a yellow star poorly drawn onto a white background waves at him, the words ‘congratulation the stress didnt abolsultly kill u’ written in the Comic Sans font on the inside, making him giggle. Despite the typos and the poor grammar, his heart squeezes on itself, shaking his head at your adorable antics as he shoots you a quick message as a thank you. You’ve been helping him with the studies for the last couple of weeks (if constantly yelling out “you will murder this exam, Sohn’ and laughing at his miserable face counts as support), so it’s even more heartwarming to see his friend still be so supportive of him even after the hell already ended.

@ damnsohn [5:11 PM]: thank u i will now need to receive gold stars for everything tho

And see, he wasn’t really thinking before sending that message. He just needed to convey his gratitude without sounding too overly eager– without sounding too infatuated with your sheer existence and the validation of his efforts. (Failed)

What he didn’t expect was for you to actually follow up on his request. 

To make things even better, you pulled through with physical reminders. The poorly drawn golden star landing into his Instagram DMs was just the start of the habit you fall into with Eric Sohn, the man whose love language is words of affirmation– without him even realizing it. And so, what started out as a wholesome, innocent joke, now turned into a recurring thing that is slowly, but surely making the boy go absolutely insane.

The first time he receives a physical golden star sticker is one day when he comes over to your place to watch a movie with you. You made a list full of iconic films you haven’t seen before– a list you get clowned for at first dates with any man that is pretentious enough to talk about his love for Quentin Tarantino (Eric told you to stop going on dates with the aesthetic, ‘indie’ looking men you find on Tinder) – and little by little, you try to get through it with the help of the rest of your friend group. Since everyone gets bored easily of mediocre films they’ve seen before, Eric is the one that spends the majority of movie nights with you– and that’s only because he’s the only one that doesn’t mind watching the Titanic for the fifth time already, if it means he can spend some time with you.

“You brought popcorn?” you gasp upon his arrival, gazing at the plastic bag in his hold, eyes big and full of stars– one would say you were looking at your first love. You weren’t– it was just a salty treat. Isn’t that every girl’s first love, though?

“Yeah,” he nods.

“Pre-popped?” 

“Pre-popped,” he agrees as he takes off his shoes behind the door, watching as you jump up and down in excitement, taking the big bag out of his hands.

“I like it pre-popped the best, oh my god,” you hum, hugging the huge bag like it’s a teddy bear, going as far as pushing your cheek against it, making your face turn into an adorable pout. “They are a little stale and softer and–”

“And the salt is really settled into it’, yeah, I know, Y/N,” he snickers, finishing the sentence he’s heard you say about a million times already– he starts to wonder if you have short-term memory loss and don’t remember telling him every time you walk by the cinema. (And that’s a lot of times, since Sunwoo’s dad owns the place. Sometimes, Sunwoo makes Eric be his own delivery man– he would deny on most occasions, but ever since he learned that bringing Sunwoo his lunch to work means he can take home a bag of cinema popcorn, the one that admittedly, always tastes the best, he doesn’t complain much– he can use the stale bag as a leverage to make you do about anything.)

“Oh man,” you sigh, “aren’t you a dream. I was going to wait for a more serious occasion, but wait, let me just–” you say, running quickly into your room. Eric doesn’t question your antics, figuring out that he will know the reason for your disappearance soon enough anyway, and allows himself into the living room. Two cans of coca cola and a chocolate bar are already waiting on the coffee table, alongside the TV remote, and while he passes the couch and opens one of your kitchen cabinets to fish for a bowl to put the popcorn in, he hears your socked feet rumble against the floor, announcing your arrival.

Once he takes the big bowl he’s sure he’s seen you puke in before after a wild night out and settles it onto the kitchen counter, the bag of popcorn comes back into his view as you lazily throw it into the white plastic, still closed and sealed, waiting to be opened. As his hands move and go to rip it open, meaning to pour the snack in so you two can share while you watch the next movie on your list– which, just for the record, Eric never asks the title of before, afraid it might make him less excited for the movie night– you put something onto the back of his hand, giggling.

Eric curiously stops his movements, gazing at his own skin. There, shiny and glittery, is a sticker attached to his limb– a yellow star sticker, to be exact, making him look at you with a dumbfounded look, eyebrows furrowed, but lips still sealed into a wide grin.

“That’s a gold star for remembering my favorite snack,” you point, flicking his forehead as a way of swatting him away from you so you can open the bag yourself, “and for bringing it.”

When Eric doesn’t give you any coherent reply– despite his brain operating on a thousand miles per hour, thoughts just swirling around and silencing any rational words– you only laugh at his face, your nose scrunching in that adorable way that makes him want to reach over and squish both of your cheeks in between his fingers, crying out. 

“Wow, I didn’t know you were so serious about this,” you sigh, snickering. Eric was going to bring up the fact that you were the one serious enough about the sentiment to buy a full roll of star stickers to give him on various occasions, some more serious than others, but he kept his silence in fear of getting this advantage taken away from him. He doesn’t think he’d survive it. “If you manage to not eat the entire bowl before the movie starts, I’ll give you another one. Come on,” you call for him, body already disappearing back into the living room.

Eric follows you like a lost puppy. If he had a tail, at this moment, he would’ve been waggling it. After he drops to the sofa, he notices the movie paused on the TV in front of him to be none other than Dirty dancing. With a sigh, he recognises that he’s seen it about five times already with his mother and sister, and so he spends the hour and a half gazing at the star on his hand instead.

The next few stars he receives are gifts of a similar manner. Half-serious, but still enough to make Eric’s heart leap in his chest at your recognition.

One day, he says a joke in the middle of the conversation that nobody really appreciates. And see, it’s not really unexpected– he was already aware that his friend group doesn’t appreciate good humor– but the dead silence he receives after the lame joke still makes him feel kind of awkward. That’s only until he is greeted with the sound of your muffled chuckle, though– which is of amusement at the situation, and not his joke, just for the record– and the sight of you ruffling around your pockets. You take a roll of stickers out of your jean jacket, and before he knows it, a star sticker is glued onto his phone case, right in the corner of his phone laying screen down on the table. 

“A gold star for trying,” you hum, making the rest of the group holler out a laugh at the casual bullying, “not as bad as last time, keep it up, buddy.”

Eric gets red in his cheeks. When he looks up from the dark wood of the dinner table, he is met with the sight of Sunwoo and Juyeon looking at him with shit-eating grins on his faces, wiggling their eyebrows at the very obvious reaction Eric has at the half-assed praise. The boy wonders if you’re the only one that hasn’t noticed yet, or if you just don’t really care about the effect you have on him. The star sticker stays glued to his phone case at all times, though, even when it’s worn-down and peeling off at the edges.

Another gold star is won from you one day when the semester starts again and you two meet up in the library, working on your respective essays. Each of you major in a different thing, so there is not much actual help shared other than underlying emotional support, and despite the coffee Eric brings you upon his arrival and the bag of chips resting on the table waiting for you to munch on them, which you refuse to touch before you finish a segment of your essay to ‘motivate yourself’, as you say, he can see you’re still a bit stressed out.

The suspicion is only proven to be true when he speaks up suddenly, lost in thought and a little overwhelmed himself. “How do you spell ‘accommodate’?” he asks, scratching the back of his head.

He now admits that it’s a stupid question to ask, but somehow, getting advice from you is much easier than looking it up himself, or simply writing the word down to let Google docs do the editing. The answer you give him is short, sharp, and the tone of your voice stings the boy the tiniest bit. “Are you 5 years old, or something?”

“I–”

“I’m in the middle of writing an important paragraph, Eric, just Google it–”

“Jeez, okay,” he hums, rolling his eyes at your snappy composure. When your eyes meet only two seconds after, you look a little guilty. You say nothing, though, only continuing to focus on your essay– and Eric does the same, for the most part. (While he also tries to take his mind off the fact that you might think he’s a little bit stupid. You are a STEM major, after all– he’s the one studying media.)

After a while of typing away on your computer, though, you look at him with big eyes, chewing on the bottom of your lip. The subtle nerves and desperation in your face are enough to leave the man weak in his knees, and even though he’d like to reply to you in a similar manner to show you his disapproval with your previous tone, he can’t find it in himself to ever reject you as you mumble out a soft: “Switch?” having the man instantly nod, offering you his laptop.

This is standard practice for the two of you. While he doesn’t really know what you’re talking about in your essays– for all he knows, you could be pulling everything out of your ass– he enjoys reading the words you’ve written. You two often work on your essays together and switch from time to time to reread what the other one has so far– on a lookout for wrong word order, grammar, or anything sounding weird. It’s hard to rationally evaluate your work and find flaws in it after spending hours and hours on it, your brain desensitized to the content you’re writing. Having a helping pair of eyes is always for the better.

When the both of you are done and you switch the laptops back, there’s a gold sticker smiling back at him from the device settled right next to the Kirby sticker you’ve given him once after hearing him gushing about the game one night (Yes, he was tipsy and sentimental). He didn’t even notice you putting it on, and when he looks up at you with questioning eyes, you shrug at him, averting eye contact.

“A gold star for spelling ‘accommodate’ right,” you say, making the boy roll his eyes, snickering.

He doesn’t really question you further. Just the star sticker is enough for him now, if he’s being totally honest– even as unserious as they come. Had he pried more, though, maybe he’d find out that the gold star wasn’t just the prize for his spelling– but also for his patience and silent support he’s been sending you every single day. 

And so, the habit preserves itself at first in a joking, half-serious manner. A gold star sticker for him when he reminds you to water your plants (‘for having a good memory’). A gold sticker for him when he carries you home on his back after you get too drunk at the bar with your friends (‘for having strong muscles’). A star sticker for him when he picks you up after work and drives you home (‘for having a cool car’). Another one when he cooks you ramen when you’re sick and don’t have enough energy to make yourself something warm for dinner (‘for being a 5* Michelin cook’). For his birthday, alongside with other things, you give him a strip of the gold star stickers, 5 in a row all next to each other– ‘for bearing the old age well’. He’s not even that much older than you in the first place, but he takes the external validation and praise with open arms, not really dwelling deeper into the sentiment underlying your joking, unserious reasonings. 

He doesn’t really realize the stickers were a sign of gratitude for the fact that he listens to you and remembers what you have to say– not for having a good memory. They are for taking care of you on your lowest– not for having strong arms and a ‘fat ass’. They are a wordless thank you for his acts of service and protection of you, not for having a cool car and getting his driver’s license– although, the pride is the common undertone in some of the gold stars you give him. You give him gold stars on his birthday to tell him you’re proud of the man he’s growing into, not to make fun of him growing old. The boy is just too oblivious to realize it, it seems.

Some days are more difficult than others, though, and that’s when your star stickers gain more value and seriousness. 

The day after he has a family reunion with the distant relatives that always pry too much into his business– ‘Do you have a girlfriend yet?’, ‘What will you end up doing with that useless degree of yours?’, ‘Do you still share a flat with that friend of yours? What about getting your own place?’ – he is met with the sight of you waiting for him after class, on one of the bean bags outside of the lecture room. His department is a solid 20 minute walk away from yours, so the sight of you there surprises him, but the shock is only intensified when you call him over with a wave of your hand and present him with a pack of M&M’s with a gold star stuck to the packaging.

“What’s that for?” he says, but opens the candy nonetheless. After he takes a few into his mouth, he offers you some– to which you shake your head and shrug.

“For being the coolest one out of your family,” you say close to his ear, like it’s a secret, before you ruffle his hair and stand up from the bean bag, strutting towards the exit. “Come on, I have beer over at my place. You can come over and rant about them being stupid, if you want.”

Eric smiles at your sincerity. Trying hard to tame his hair back into place, he follows you with his backpack hanging off one of his shoulders, and even though he’d love to finish the candy you’ve given him, he forces himself to leave at least three pieces inside of the bag, saving it for later– just so he can keep holding on to the star-adorning wrapper for some more.

One day is particularly hard for the boy as he locks himself out of the apartment, having to wait for his roommate Jake to come back from his hometown the other day, leaving him no place to stay– before you invite him over and force him to sleep over on the couch. You can tell there is something more bugging him, though– and so you push the boy for answers.

“What’s up? Locking yourself out is not the end of the world, y’know,” you say, trying to lighten up the situation.

Eric looks at you with tired eyes, shrugging. Truth be told, his mood has been gradually falling over the last couple of days– this incident was just what really tipped him over the edge and nudged him closer to a nervous breakdown. He’s been overwhelmed with work (too many people having high expectations of him that he is scared he cannot meet), with school (too many assignments he is afraid he can’t manage to get done in time) and also with his family constantly being at his neck about everything he does and chooses for his future– only fueling the burning pit of anxiety and insecurity crawling outside of the big hole inside of his chest.

“It’s nothing,” still, he notes. “I’ve just been having a bit of a rough time, really, ‘s all.”

You answer him with a slight pout of your lips, a saddened expression taking over your face. There is sympathy oozing off your presence, and Eric can’t tell if he dislikes it, or yearns too much for your caring words and gentle encouragement. He can’t tell if it’s natural or pathetic, to want, to need your compliments and validation so much– or if he’s just fallen into a hole he can’t crawl back out of, too hungry after every bit of your attention. You’ve completely enchanted the boy, made his heart both soft and erratically running whenever you’re around, and the things he constantly does for you are not only because he wants you to tell him he’s doing well, but also because he wants you to think of him as someone that you can lean on. He wants you to think of him as someone good enough for you. 

Today, though, maybe he just needs a bit of validation. Maybe he just selfishly strives for your encouragement. It’s okay to just want to be loved on from time to time, no?

You coo, taking a seat next to him on the sofa you’ve spent countless movie nights on together, slotted side by side. Eric plays with his fingers in his lap, a heavy cloud hanging over his face. You know your friend isn’t really good at talking about his emotions– something akin to a mental block inside of him preventing him from ever fully opening up– but despite it all, it seems like he’s completely see-through in your eyes, handling you all the unspoken words on a silver platter. You know him too well.

“You’re doing well, Eric. Don’t let the doubts get into your head, yeah?” you hum, meeting eyes with the boy. 

“Am I, though?” 

The face you give him is stern, acting upset with him. “Of course you are! Stop saying that,” you shake your head at him, sighing when he doesn’t comply with your hard love. After a heartbeat of silence, you turn your head away from him and face the turned-off TV, instinctively wrapping your arm around the boy first, tucking him to your side, before you cradle his head and move it so it sits in the crook of your shoulder. 

Patting his hair, ruffling it and gently playing with the strands before you move to scratch on his scalp, the actions all unarm the poor boy. He almost feels like he could cry and fall apart right there in front of you, right there in your hold, but his pride is oftentimes bigger than his need to let it all out– so he just stares ahead of him, teething at his bottom lip in silence.

After a moment, you rustle around your pocket with your free hand, seemingly searching for something. Eric watches you with curious eyes, big eyes reminiscent of ponds of water waiting to overflow when you take out a strip of star stickers from the inside of your sweatpants, gently taking one of them and sticking the golden star onto the fabric of his pants, right on his knee, before patting it affectionately.

“What’s that for?” he asks, voice a bit hoarse. He’s glad you don’t mention it.

“Just in general,” you shrug, hand coming back up to play with his hair, “a gold star because I’m proud of you.”

“There’s nothing to be proud of, though..?”

“Of course there is!” you argue, raising your voice at him. He doesn’t make much effort to show you that he agrees or understands your point, so you gently take his hand into yours and wave it around in mock-joy– although you’re kind of serious about the sentiment. “Proud of you, because you’re alive and surviving! Yay!”

Eric snorts. It’s not enough to cure his mood completely, but it warms his heart up enough to make him forget about his tears.

“Do you just carry these on you at all times?” he asks, pointing towards the sticker on his leg.

“You never know when you need them,” you innocently agree. After your continuous doting, the boy finds himself falling asleep on your shoulder. When he wakes up in the morning, there’s a blanket thrown over his body he didn’t see in the room before, and he feels a thousand times better.

So far, Eric’s never asked for the gold star stickers. They always come to him by your initiative– and although he has to admit that sometimes he does stuff for you and expects a reward for it (in the form of the sticker, of course) – he never once begged to receive one himself. Sometimes, you surprise him. Sometimes, it’s obvious there is one coming– like after he helps you send out your psychology survey to every single person he knows (and he knows a lot of them. He is a born extrovert, after all.). 

Much like the day of his football match. 

He’s not really the biggest fan of the sport– he much prefers baseball, but his university no longer has a baseball team and he needs to get additional credit somehow– but when you add up the fact that it makes him popular with the fact that he ends up spending time playing around the field with his friends and over the course of the season gets actually better at the sport the more he practices, it’s not as bad as he expected.

The last match of the season turned out well– with their team winning– and although Eric wasn’t the one in charge of the winning goal (damn Kim Sunwoo and Jake Sim for collectively beating him to the victory), he was still ecstatic about the whole thing. After celebrating with his teammates, dubbing them up and screaming in victory, his eyes scan the crowd to find the rest of his friend group that he knows is there, watching him and Sunwoo play. (In reality, he’s just looking for you– he won’t admit that out loud, though.)

Running up to you with sparkles in his eyes, he watches as you cheer on your other friend, Sunwoo, when he beats him to the bleachers. (Not cool of him, if you ask Eric. His crush is literally right there.)

The taller boy enthusiastically talks about the match– as if you, Jihoon, Ryujin and Jay haven’t been on the bleachers the whole time, watching– and after a while, Eric hears your enthusiastic praise aimed towards his best friend, making his blood turn green in envy.

“Yo, that goal was so good, though!” you gush, patting Sunwoo on the shoulder.

“I know, right? Jake passed the ball to me in the perfect time, that other guy couldn’t even register what was happening,” he boosts, grinning to himself.

All attention is drawn on Kim Sunwoo, and Eric doesn’t like it. Not when it’s your attention we’re talking about. He doesn’t care if the whole university drools over the handsome fire sign (as if he doesn’t have a girlfriend anyway– although Eric is still surprised by the fact, after the way he treated the part-timer at his father’s movie theater in the first few weeks of their acquaintance). Believe me, Eric is completely content standing in the shadow whenever someone gushes about Kim Sunwoo, the star player of the team– until you’re involved, of course.

So, he sulks. And it’s apparent– or at least he thinks so. It doesn’t seem to clock in with any of his friends, though, as they all walk away from the football field, aiming to celebrate together in the cheap restaurant downtown. Eric walks behind the group like a lost puppy, and it takes exactly 5 minutes and 35 seconds (not that he’s counting) for you to finally notice the absence of his lame jokes and loud comments to just about everything.

“What’s up?” you ask when you trail behind the group to join his side, laughing at the pout on his face. “You look like you just lost the match. Which you didn’t. Not sure if you caught that…” you joke, bumping your hips with him.

“Well, you seem to be acting like it,” he comments, his words leaving a sour taste in your mouth.

“Huh?” you ask, genuine confusion tinting your expression. “We’re literally going to celebrate, I don’t get what you– is this because you want that stupid star sticker?” you cut yourself off mid-sentence, the boy already too readable to you after so much time.

Eric gasps in shock. He’s not really sure what he wanted out of mentioning it so openly to you, but to be called out like this surely wasn’t on the list. He feels heat rising to his cheeks with lightning speed, his eyes averting your gaze in the instant. Maybe the voices inside of his head were right. Maybe he is embarrassing.

“Well,” he shrugs, only digging the hole under himself deeper, “did I not do well too?” he mutters under his breath, the humiliation fully settling into his bones after you laugh straight at his face.

“Wow…” you hum, shaking your head in disbelief. “If I knew I was fueling your praise kink this much with the stickers, I would’ve stopped a long time ago–”

“I don’t have a praise kink–” he screams, battling you as you suddenly scramble after him with the sticker on your finger, waiting to be plastered somewhere onto his figure. He’s sure the whole commotion heard his poor attempt at defending himself, but he’s not willing to back down without a fight– anything to prove that he doesn’t depend on the stickers as much as one would think. He doesn’t want the sticker anymore. He doesn’t need it.

As you fight him and womanhandle him on the street, though, hands all over him, trying to get close as he desperately tries to push you away and fight the allegations, he finds himself unarmed when you get in close proximity of his body, pushing him against the wall. He’s sure he has more muscle power than you do, but the mental power in him is lacking– he just can’t make himself push you away from him. Your face is close to his, your breathing tickling his nose. His heart is stammering hard against his chest, your hands still clutching his wrists against the wall, making him feel like a horny teenager. His breathing is heavy– he doesn’t think he’s done much physical labor, though?

Before he has a chance to collect himself and physically unglue his eyes off your lips– glossy and pink, inviting him in– you make the boy’s brain short circuit even further when you lean close to his ear, whispering so no one else can hear.

“Jealousy doesn’t suit you, by the way.”

You know just which buttons to push. Maybe you’re a bit sadistic– with how knowledgeable you are of his feelings, but of how much you’re enjoying him being completely oblivious to the fact that you’re aware. You have him at your mercy, all yours to keep, his heart all yours to play with and scan in the palm of your hands.

A star sticker is pressed into the skin below his ear, right at the pulse point. With that, you unstick yourself from the boy, running back to the rest of the group. It takes Eric a moment to collect himself enough to rejoin his friends– so much he has to run (which is good, in hindsight– at least he has something to blame for his breathlessness)– but after this, he swears he’s never asking for validation from you ever again.

It’s too dangerous.

Almost as dangerous as you trying to ride his skateboard for the first time, it seems. He’s met with the fact only two weeks after the football match. When you texted him and convinced him you’re going to be fine and that he should definitely bring the board with him when you hang out later in the day– ‘I’m not a five year old, I can handle it! I bet it’s going to be fun!’ – he didn’t really expect you to be this bad at it. You seemed a little too confident for him to believe otherwise, and, well, in Eric’s eyes, you are perfect at just about everything. 

This really shattered the image of you he had in his mind. Not in a bad way, no– the man has and always will worship the sheer ground you walk on– it’s just that more than admiration, the feeling flowing through his veins right now seems to be adoration. Eric always admired your every move, every single sentence that ever came out of your mouth. But now, he just can’t seem to contain himself as he watches you stumble over your own feet and try to balance yourself on the unmoving skateboard in the middle of the empty park, hands waving around your figure in a desperate need to not fall over and break your neck. (Which would never happen under Eric’s watch anyway. His reflexes are fast.)

“You look like a baby learning how to walk for the first time,” he gushes from the bench, your bags waiting at his feet. A wide grin is plastered onto his face as he watches you, his cheeks beginning to hurt from the constant stretch of the muscles.

“Very funny,” you sigh, stumbling over once again, making the board move with the kinetic motion of you stepping off of it, leaving Eric to stop it with his outstretched leg.

“You were so confident before,” he shakes his head, mocking you.

“Well, I tend to overestimate my abilities sometimes,” you shrug, a pout slowly appearing on your face as you move closer towards the male, obviously going to sit at the bench next to him. “It’s whatever, I don’t feel like skateboarding anymore–”

“You’re giving up already?” 

“Yes.”

“No, you’re not,” he shakes his head, standing up and offering you his hand to take so he can bring you back up to your feet, “never back down, never what?”

“Eric, I’m not going to finish your TikTok references right now–”

“I said never back down never what?!” he hollers, forcefully tugging you to a standing position, the sigh escaping your lips only fueling him further with his ridiculous antics. “Never give up! That’s right, Y/N, very well. Now, let me help you, I promise it’s not as hard as it seems.”

“I mean, given the fact that even you can do it–”

Eric flashes you a stone cold look as a warning. He doesn’t really think the teasing is at place right now– you’re the one not capable of keeping balance on the skateboard. It’s not like you have any right to joke right now.

“Okay, I take it back.”

“Leave the jokes for when your legs don’t look like a freshy born horse’s with how much they’re shaking when you’re up on this thing, yeah?” he chuckles, hearing you snort out a laugh at the accuracy of his comment.

Eric should’ve known he was the one miscalculating his abilities to efficiently teach you how to skateboard before the act itself happened. He didn’t, though, and the thought only occurred to him the moment you started latching onto him like a koala to its favorite tree– all just so you could hold balance on the board beneath your feet.

Your legs are a little shaky– and so are Eric’s hands when they instinctively land on your waist as you latch onto his shoulders, steadying yourself. The boy is painfully aware of the layers of clothing preventing him from touching your bare skin, yet, his fingertips still tingle as they bear into your midriff, holding you steady and preventing you from falling.

“Now, this isn’t so hard,” you conclude, chuckling. Eric doesn’t find it in himself to look up at your face, knowing he’d go painfully red the second your eyes would meet. The close proximity of your body still makes him shy sometimes, despite the years of friendship you share, and so he keeps his gaze glued to the ground instead, clearing his throat before he speaks up again, trying to seem nonchalant and casual.

“I’ll move now, yeah?”

Without really waiting for your reply, his feet shift their position on the ground, dragging you across the road with him. Gentle steps at first, making sure you’re not too overwhelmed, then picking up speed so you move a little faster on the board. “Will you be okay if I let go?”

“I don’t know..? Hopefully…?” you say, voice wavering a little, nerves seeping through your tone.

“I’ll catch you if you fall, don’t worry,” he hums, feeling how you squeeze his shoulders for one last time before he lets go of your waist, watching the way you slide away on the skateboard. The pace isn’t too fast, yet, it’s still enough to make you grin widely at the boy, your body now used to the feeling, balance finally finding its way to you. 

“Do you want me to push you around for a bit?” he offers, relishing in the way you nod eagerly at him, the grin on your face making his heart squeeze on itself. If he could carve the muscle out of his chest and offer it to you, he would. In his eyes, you deserve everything in this world– how could he not just try and give it to you, little by little, all by himself?

Light steps nearing your figure, he gently pushes you in the back, watching as you slide farther and farther away from him. Every time he gently nudges you in the right direction, he earns himself a hearty giggle from you, the motion making you feel free and reckless– just like teenagers do when discovering the activity for the first time. “I was right! It’s fun!”

Eric can feel himself relishing in the moment fully. Your smile is the prettiest thing he’s ever seen, and he wishes he could engrave the sight of it into his memory forever. He knows that’s not possible, though, and so he pledges to try his hardest to make it appear on your face so much and so often that he has no chance to forget how it looks.

After you’re done and exhausted with the day, Eric makes it his quest to get you home safely before heading to his place. You complain about your feet hurting, and although the boy is doubtful of your whining, he still offers to drag you home as you stand on the skateboard, holding your hand the whole way. When he’s almost at your apartment complex, he feels the familiar star sticker glued to the back of his hand before you intertwine your fingers with his, running a thumb proudly over the gold plastic.

“A gold star for being a good teacher,” you note when your eyes meet, making the boy chuckle.

“Shouldn’t I be giving you one for being a good student? Is that not how things usually work?” 

“I give credit where credit is due,” you hum, nodding to yourself. “Besides, that’s not only for that. I just…” you trail off, as if too nervous to say the next words. “I just wanted to show gratitude to you, ‘cause I had a really good time today,” you say nonchalantly, still, shrugging. Eric feels his stomach churning. How can you be so casual with saying words that make his heart skip a beat?

“I should show my gratitude to you more often too, y’know.”

You shake your head at him, laughing like it’s funny. “Oh, Eric. You do it so often you don’t even realize it. You just have a different way of showing it than I do.”

Eric averts his gaze from you, chewing on his bottom lip in nervousness. He starts to wonder if he’s been too obvious with his feelings. Do you see him differently now?

The questions almost drown him out on the way towards your house. Somewhere along the way, he realizes the act of holding your hand feels natural to him now. Gazing at your interlocked fingers, he smiles to himself. He could get used to it– all of it.

He could get used to the people smiling at him and you on the street when they see you with fingers interlocked. He could get used to holding your hand every day, keeping you close. He could get used to your touches, hugs and skinship. He could get used to waking up to you in the same apartment as him, like that one time he locked himself out and you let him sleep over at your place. And to a certain extent, he already has gotten used to you– all of you. 

He’s used to texting you every day. He’s used to seeing you multiple times a week– because if he doesn’t, he misses you a little too much. He’s used to your movie nights and dancing with you in bars, shielding you from the looks of other greedy men wanting to get a piece of you. He’s used to the gold stickers you constantly provide him with as a gentle reminder of the unsaid feelings shared between the two of you. He’s used to your presence and your energy, he’s used to your teasing words and the memes you send in his Instagram DMs. If you were suddenly removed out of his life, he knows he’ll find it hard. It would feel like a piece of him was missing.

Some days, he tries to make himself believe that he’s content with what you two have right now. And he is, for the most part– but deep down, he knows he wants more. He always wanted something a bit more.

It shines through his actions on most days. It’s visible to everyone– the longing looks, the gentle touches. Jake once said Eric would jump out of a window if you asked him to, and after careful consideration, the boy had to shamefully agree with his roommate. Eric gets laughed at every time his cheeks blush when you give him too much special attention. He’s used to being called the ‘lover boy’ whenever you’re around. 

In front of you, he tries to hide his feelings as much as possible, though.

Sometimes, it slips out of him, though. In moments where the day slowly comes to its end and the atmosphere turns more tender. On days when the movie nights get moved to his apartment, because it’s closer to your university and you claim you’re too tired to walk all the way back to your place. Eric claims you’re just lazy, but the pout on your face tells him otherwise. 

On days when there is no one else in the apartment, just you two, and your conversation dies down. The boy is usually a chatterbox when it comes to watching movies with you– commenting on every single scene, making fun of the characters, teasingly spoiling bits and chunks of the plot for you– but it was a Friday night and you were snuggled up in your favorite hoodie, your bodies stuck tightly to each other on the sofa. There is a cloud of comfort, a huge curtain of intimacy falling over you two, and Eric is afraid that speaking up would ruin the sentiment. 

After a few minutes, he feels your head lay on his shoulder. The crown of your head is instantly more interesting than the movie playing on the TV, his eyes glossing over your relaxed expression. There is hair falling into your face and your eyelashes are kissing your cheekbones, your brain no longer focusing on the movie, but slowly dozing off instead. Eric mentally coos– it’s not often you fall asleep next to him, and so he somehow finds himself treasuring the moment. You look so peaceful, so beautiful– yet so unaware of it. His heart squeezes with tenderness, making sink a little into the sofa cushions so you’re more comfortable in using him as your head rest. He knows waking you up or moving you so you’re resting against the back of the sofa would be more convenient for your neck, but he selfishly relishes in the fact that you found comfort in the crook of his shoulder instead.

He can’t help but smile widely at your composure. You look small and vulnerable. You look like the prettiest thing he’s ever seen. Eric indulges in the fact that he’s not watched right now, letting himself fully enjoy and admire your sheer existence. 

He acts on impulse when his lips softly land onto your forehead. Not much thought goes into the sentiment– he just sheerly answered his heart’s calling. 

You look dreamy. You look lovely. He’s in love with you, he thinks.

He lets himself settle deeper into the couch cushions. After no longer having to entertain you with his comments on the movie he’s seen 4 times already– The matrix– he finds himself bored enough of the familiar plot to doze off himself, forgetting about the promise he made to you to drive you home after the movie is over. 

He sleeps through your smile and the shake of your head, as well as you detaching your head off his shoulder, smiling at the unaware boy. Not yet asleep– just resting your eyes for a bit– you were a witness of the boy’s tender, loving ministrations. You disappear out of the apartment after the movie is over, crossing paths with Jake in the entrance hall giving you a quiet wave and a point towards his roommate sitting on the sofa, a gold star adorning the tip of his nose.

You just shrug before leaving. Jake just shakes his head at both of you, wondering when your time will finally come. Eric wakes up in the middle of the night to the TV off, asking himself if he should consider the sticker a silent invitation.

And after a while of careful consideration– laying awake and wondering of all the what-ifs, replaying every moment spent with you over and over in his mind, looking for the very obvious signs of reciprocation– he decides to just go for it. He decides to be the brave man he claims he is, and finally makes the first step.

Well, at least tries to. Because as it turns out, it’s much more difficult to invite someone out on a date if you’re already friends with them for a prolonged amount of time. Not only is it more nerve-wrecking, but also much more confusing to the other party– and after inviting you out to get boba in the new place downtown, he’s not so sure you are aware that you’re on a date with him. 

Not that Eric expected anything to change between the two of you instantly after going on a date– no, he’s completely fine with the dynamic you two have, and it’s one of the things he values the most about your friendship– he just thought the atmosphere would be… a little different.

Which is why he decides to start dropping not so subtle hints about his intentions. Brave, isn’t he?

First of all, he pays for your order. All after the 20 minutes you take standing outside of the boba store searching through the menu to find out what you’re going to get– and although Eric finds it endearing, he is also starting to get a little nervous.

“Didn’t know you were so indecisive,” he hums, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

“I’m not!” you grunt, shaking your head at your own antics. “I just don’t know what tastes good together. Should I just get one of the premade drinks on the menu? But I’m not really in the mood for any of these–”

“I’ll just get you a random one,” he sighs, “and you will have no other choice than to drink it.”

“What if I don’t like it?”

“Then at least you have someone to blame,” he snickers, pushing the glass door open and entering the quiet boba store. He orders you a kiwi bubble tea with strawberry popping pearls– because he knows you enjoy how they come apart in your mouth– and after he comes outside with both of the drinks in either of his hands, he waves you off when you ask him how much yours was so you can pay him back.

“It’s on me,” he hums.

An over-exaggerated sigh escapes your mouth at that. “You’re paying? You never pay,” you exclaim and take the straw in between your lips, ready to taste the drink. You and Eric both know that what you said is a lie– he has no issue with paying for you, and he brings you random treats all the time– but for the sake of the next line, he decides to go along with it.

“Well, today is a different occasion, I guess,” he shrugs.

With that, you stop and stare at him with stars in your eyes, a teasing smile slowly overtaking your lips. You’re not stupid– you’re not oblivious the way he is– and so Eric thinks you finally got the hint. Or, at least he hopes so. “Is it?”

Suddenly too shy under your gaze, cheeks tinting light pink, the boy averts his gaze from you and walks down the street, expecting you to follow him. He might be brave enough to drop hints, but still not brave enough to admit to it explicitly.

Not when he drags you to the park and sits with you on the bench, people watching. Not when he casually drops his arm on the back of the bench behind you, gluing himself particularly close to your body. Not when he lets you try his drink, battling away the annoying voice inside of his head telling him that you just shared an indirect kiss. (‘Come on, Eric. You’re not a teenager anymore. Get it together.’)

He doesn’t admit to it in words, but he sure does in actions when he gives you his jacket when the evening gets chilly. He swears you look the most adorable in his red windbreaker, and in a moment of weakness, he puts his arm around your shoulders as you walk down the street, a selfish need of having you close to him winning above everything else.

“And what was so different about today, Eric?” you ask on the way to your apartment, gazing up at the beaming boy next to you. Are you teasing him again? Do you enjoy watching his misery?

Eric figures it’s for the best to tell you, though. He thinks it’s important to set the tone– because after today, it’s almost like nothing changed at all. The dynamic stays the same– and while he doesn’t think he hates it, he admits he’d just rather call you his.

So, despite the embarrassment, he chews on the bottom of his lip. You’re almost at your place already, and so he thinks it won’t hurt to talk about it now. If things go wrong, you can just go home and he can run to his apartment and violently cry into his pillow. 

“Well, I was thinking…” he starts, clearing his throat to buy himself some time and also trying to bite down the excessive nerves clawing at him from the inside, “I… you… I was hoping this wasn’t just like… a regular day out, you know…?”

Blinking at him a few times– because you must love to torture him, there is no other explanation– you shake you head at him. “No, Eric. I don’t know what you mean by that.”

Eric physically tears himself off you, your apartment complex now directly in front of him. Cracking his knuckles and taking a deep breath in to calm himself, he tries again. “I meant to… invite you out on a date today,” he proposes simply.

And in that moment, it’s like the whole world stops turning for a minute. Not only do you not give him any verbal answer, but your expression also stays the same as before– completely stoic and neutral, giving him no window into the way you feel about his suggestion. And you know what they say about Eric Sohn– he talks too much. Not only in situations where it’s inappropriate, but also in moments where he feels like there is nothing better to do than to fill the suffocating void that is the silence hanging over him– much like right now.

Eric rambles. “And- and I know I should’ve said that before making you go with me, but god, you don’t know how hard it is to make it clear to you that I’m trying to be more than friends with you without sounding absolutely fucking awkward!” he sighs, wetting his dry, chapped lips. 

“And I’m sorry if this changes your view of me, or something, but trust me, our friendship means to me so much more than just trying to make you date me, that was never my intention behind things, I do everything out of care for you, because you’re– you’re just everything to me–”

After the last line, he hears you chuckle. Your eyes finally meet, and he feels like he wants a car to run him over approximately 15 times to make sure all his bones are broken and his skull is smashed into pieces– he’s sure it would be more comfortable than the situation he put himself in right now.

“That was so cheesy,” you say, Eric’s stomach making a flip that might as well force acid up his throat. He won’t throw up, he won’t throw up, he won’t embarrass himself even more–

His hands shake. Suddenly, you take them into yours. 

He watches you carefully, ready to be let down. You step closer to him– surely, you’re going to give him a comforting hug as you tell him he read all the signs wrong and you don’t feel the same– before you lean into him, face inches away from his. Blinking, Eric suddenly registers your lips locking with his for a mere second, a soft, sweet caress of your mouth on his not giving him a chance to react– a chance to reciprocate– before you pull away, making him freeze.

“You always make things more complicated than they need to be,” you laugh, shaking your head in disbelief.

“Uh…” he lets out, like he lost all the words in his vocabulary. It’s the first time Eric Sohn has nothing to say– and it feels like a miracle. In reality, he’s taken aback and still processing.

The sight of him like this only makes you grin wider. It’s no question that you find him adorable like this, so bashful and surprised, cheeks turning red and lips slightly ajar, big eyes staring into yours. “Cat got your tongue?” you tease, letting go off his hands and placing your palms onto his cheeks instead, thumbs tracing his cheekbones. His brain might be blank right now, but his orbs still hold so many emotions– ones that make you soften and cave in on yourself, overflowing with tenderness. Hands automatically resting on your waist, Eric holds you close to his chest.

“Put your mouth to use in a different way, then,” you joke, watching the boy in front of you go into factory reset.

Lips crashing against yours, the boy kisses you like you’re his lifeline. Chasing after you, he puts all the words he’s said before and the ones he keeps hidden inside for now into the action, having you melt in his hold. He feels your breathing on his face, making him deeply aware of every detail, of every miniscule shift of your figure, every tiniest movement of your lips and the almost inaudible sound you let out when his teeth tug on your bottom lip as he pulls away for air, being a little overly-excited.

Foreheads resting together, the two of you in your own little bubble no one gets to peer into even on the busy street, Eric watches as you look down and take something out of your pocket– something he so deeply recognises, making his heart thump a thousand miles an hour, if it wasn’t already.

Another kiss is given to his lips– for good measure– before you press another one to the tip of his nose and one more peck into the middle of his forehead, making his legs feel like jelly. You follow your lips with the star sticker attached to your thumb, sticking it to your lover’s skin. 

“That’s a gold star for being adorable,” you say, making him roll his eyes. “And for the nice date.”

“Don’t I get one for being a good kisser too?” he pries, watching as you scoff at his prideful question.

“I don’t know, Sohn,” you shrug, “I’m not sure yet, but I could be convinced–”

He cuts you off by locking your lips again, ready to prove you of his abilities. With the gold sticker proudly glimmering on his forehead, he realizes that maybe you were right– and all along, it has always been this simple.

[duffslut]

Secret love

Izzy Stradlin x Reader

My Masterlist.

Word Count: 649

Warnings: Fluff!

- What are you doing here again? - Slash asked, stopping Izzy in the middle of the hallway.

Izzy didn't say anything, he just looked at you asking for help.

- He's helping me with some stuff for college, mind your own business, Slash. - You said, trying to make way to get past him.

- She needs me man. - Izzy said and shrugged at Slash, with an ironic smile on his lips.

- Why didn't you ask for my help? - Your brother asked and you rolled your eyes, walking past him and taking Izzy with you.

- Because you're too busy getting drunk. - You replied.

You and Izzy continued to your bedroom but as soon as you closed the door someone opened it again.

- Leave this fucking door open. - Slash said, and finally left.

- I told you it's not a good idea for me to come when he's here. - Izzy said, but seconds later he was already kissing you, not caring about the door being completely open.

- I don't care what he thinks. - You said, and then brought your body closer to Izzy's.

The make-out session between you was starting to heat up when a sound of footsteps made you jump away.

- Why don't we go to the backyard, huh? - Izzy suggested, fixing his pants. - We need to talk about that thing too...

You threw yourself on the bed like a spoiled child.

- I don't want to. - You whined.

But your tantrum was no use, Izzy dragged you out of the room, with his hand intertwined with yours, you sat on the backyard porch and Izzy started to roll a joint for him.

- You know the longer we wait the worse it will be, don't you? - Izzy asked, placing the joint between his lips. - It'll be worse if he finds out for himself.

You watched as your boyfriend exhaled the smoke in the air, why did you have to fall in love with someone from your brother's band? It was a little hard not to fall in love with Izzy tho, his mysterious way and incredibly striking gaze made your legs tremble from the first time you saw him, not to mention his beauty, his beautiful black hair, his style, the shiny piercing in his nose...

- So, we're gonna tell him tonight - Izzy said, and you finally came out of your thoughts.

- What?! - You asked without having any idea what Izzy was talking about.

- I love you, Y/n, we don't need to hide this anymore. - He said, and seeing him so confident about your relationship brought a little more peace to you.

You nodded, agreeing to tell your brother and the rest of the band that you and Izzy were dating.

- I love you too. - You said, giving him a peck on the lips but immediately pulling away when you tasted the weed on his mouth. - Ew!

Later, when the whole band was gathered on the couch in the living room, you were standing in the next room, waiting for Izzy to start talking.

- Guys. - He cleared his throat. - Most importantly, Slash...

You appeared in the room and joined Izzy.

- I think it's time to let you guys know that Y/n and I are dating. - He said.

Your eyes immediately went to Slash's.

- I knew it. - Axl said, and then Duff and Steven agreed with him, laughing. - You guys can't hide shit.

- Y/n I'm not an idiot, you've always been a disobedient little sister. - Slash said and you lowered your head, you knew he wouldn't let that happen.

Izzy placed you behind him and positioned his body in front of you, facing Slash.

- I'm in love with her Slash. - He said.

- Well, what can I say? Good luck. - Slash said, and you looked at him confused, was that a yes? - But know that I'll keep on your back.

- Yes!! - You squealed with joy and jumped into Izzy's lap, hearing the rest of the boys cheer with you.

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

📺 9 favorite TV shows that I watched (for the first time) in 2023 🍿

tagged by @youidiotwecouldbeenus

Our Flag Means Death 🏴‍☠️ (Marvellous! Fell in love with Izzy Hands (started fuckyeahizzyhands, hehe :)), it has 2 seasons but unfortunately it was axed, so pls sign the petition to renew :) <3)

Inside No. 9 (Discovered this bc of Reece Shearsmith and Steve Pemberton (Fuffur/Shakespeare and Glozier in GO), it's a show with individual stories they write and act in and honestly it's the most disturbing thing I have ever seen on TV but still I couldn't stop watching :D (I am a sucker for good plot twist :D))

Poker Face (A nice suprise TV crime/comedy series with a woman that can detect if someone lies :)).

The Last Of Us (Very, very good! :) I like the first half more, but still, I usually don't like zombie stuff but this was just too good too pass :). There are Pedro Pascal and Bella Ramsey and in one (excellent) episode Nick Offerman (Thaddeus Dowling in GO)).

...9 shows you say... um... no I can't remember anything other new I saw :D, too tired, depressed and unfocused :D and you know... not in mood for anything new :D (if I remember st I will add it :D).

If new seasons of shows I've seen before count then:

Good Omens 2 (must put it in the first place even tho still devastated :|)

Doctor Who (fuck yeah getting David back was absolutely delicious :))

Loki 2 (it was fine but my marvel spark seems to be gone...)

Hmm, even with these it is less than 9. Oh well :D.

tagging @cliopadra ;)

[blakbonnet]

izzy was right about one thing tho ed does absolutely wholeheartedly adore stede from the moment they meet, I don't even think he picked that word out of nowhere like I strongly believe at some point izzy was brainstorming how best to kill stede while ed was doodling him with a little flower crown and izzy snaps his fingers in front of his face and ed goes "but look at him 🥺 he's adorable"

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

ok so like objectively yes ed did things wrong but not only do i personally feel no negative emotions about any of that, i swear it would make more sense tonally with the rest of the show to NOT make a huge chunk of s2 be about ed facing the consequences for and redeeming himself from the marooning/pushing lucius overboard/izzy toe thing. like if im wrong i’m wrong and it’s whatever but i really really think the focus will be more on ed’s internal emotional state and how his choices were informed by trauma and how he’s going to learn to heal more than it’s gonna be like, Ed Learns It’s Wrong To Maroon People And Force Feed People Their Own Toes. like if anything i think it’ll be Ed Learns That He Deserves To Be Happy And He Also Realizes That Marooning People And Force Feeding People Their Own Toes Is An Unhealthy Coping Skill That Negatively Affects His Mental Health And He Learns New, Healthier Coping Strategies. like i think the focus of coming out of the kraken era is going to be almost entirely on ed’s feelings, and any mention of how his actions harmed the rest of the cast will be brief and/or it’ll primarily be played for comedy

which yes irl this would kinda suck to have some guy respond to getting his heart broken (and other stuff) by killing and maiming people and then have his whole journey of self-discovery be solely abt him and not any of the people he’s hurt. HOWEVER a biiiiiig part of the humor of the show is that the characters are experiencing some very real and very relatable self-esteem issues and insecurities and vulnerabilities, and all of that is placed on a backdrop of comedically gratuitous pirate violence. like this is a romcom and ed is basically going through the classic emotional beats of the romcom heroine getting her heart broken and eating a whole tub of ice cream and crying in her room for days before becoming cold and distant and “love is dead” edgy, only the joke is that bc he’s a pirate his “love is dead” romcom era includes some people actually literally dying. izzy and the crew all just happen to be in the blast radius for this joke, and while we as fans might love and care abt those characters too, the plain fact is that ed and stede are the main characters and the other characters’s feelings or storylines or internal motivations simply do not matter nearly as much to the show as theirs (with the exception of maybe jim, and also maybe olu depending on how s2 goes). and that’s literally just how romcoms work. this sort of “protagonist bias” is like, a core part of this kind of story.

and there’s nothing wrong with not vibing with the story because of that. if season two comes and goes and you aren’t happy with how the show handled the consequences of ed’s actions in e10 that’s fine, nobody has to feel any specific way about this show. but if i’m right and this is how s2 plays out and some of y’all don’t like this, the problem is not that ofmd is bad. the problem is just that this is not the story you wanted or expected to be told.

i DO think, tho, that there’s something very powerful abt a character like this being a queer indigenous man. he’s a gay romcom protagonist and narratively speaking his feelings trump all. this is a queer romcom that uses gratuitous slapstick violence as a punchline and where the queer main characters are allowed to get violent and unhinged about their feelings, and at the end of the day they ultimately get a pass bc it’s a gay romcom and the show is about them. like literally that description itself is more than i could’ve ever dreamed of from any tv show ever, and THEN you’re telling me that one of the main characters is indigenous???? it’s been a year and a half and s2 is right around the corner and i swear to god i still can’t believe this show actually exists. we don’t GET shows like this, we don’t GET characters like this. ed teach is such a fucking blessing of a character and i love him with all my heart.

[sanaxo-o]

Back 2 You (Kim Sunwoo)

Too @o-onikix : happiest birthday to my ride or die, my Monica to my Rachel, my everything 🥺. I love you so so much and even tho I was not able to write for Wonwoo or Seungcheol I hope you like this little something I wrote for Sunwoo (which is totally not based on your character. Nope 👎). Again thank you for always being there for, you were literally there through it all (the days I was down, the time I was balling my eyes out and also when I was the happiest girl. It was truly only possible to be that happy because you were there by my side and it means a lot to me). I love how you’re always so protective of me and taking care of me through out all that has been happening nowadays:( I will always love you and cherish you. Thank you for always listening to me rant on and on about Chanhee and the detective from Revenant. I am definitely NOT gonna stop doing that anytime soon haha. Again a happiest birthday babes <3

Warnings/Genre: situationship to lovers, they make out even tho they’re ‘enemies’, Sunwoo is a football player (pls don’t make me say soccer. I will never say that) while the reader is a cheerleader, it is said that he is toxic but he didn’t really show it, reader very much day dreams about Sunwoo, fluff, mentions of alcohol, they make out in the night sky, angst (a bit), hurt comfort

Word count: 2,407

Sana: hellooooo, back with a Sunwoo fic because it’s my besties birthday. Wasn’t able to write much because of lack of motivation but got some energy on Friday and was able to finish it till Saturday so yay me lol. A huge thanks to @deobienthusiast @sohnric and @jinnieboosworld for beta reading (and thanks to bar for helping me with the grammar and stuff). Sincerely sorry to @from-izzy for not letting her beta 😂 but here it is <3

Taglist: @cloverdaisies @kimsohn @mosviqu @a-dream-bookmark @deoboyznet

🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾

It’s not like you hated Sunwoo (you did)–it’s just that most of the time that guy was just so full of himself, when in reality no one really cares about what he was saying (it was mostly him trying to flirt).

Sunwoo just had his own way of getting on your damn nerves just by a single smirk which makes its way to his face whenever he sees you in the hallways, in the class or even on the turf.

Typically, you wouldn’t mind his presence or anything. It wasn’t like you would be able to avoid him even if you wanted to.

Being the captain of the cheerleading team meant that you’d be practising on the ground while Sunwoo would be playing football (I mean, it’s not like you would steal secret yet frequent glances at him just to take a small look at him while he was busy playing. Of course not!).

I mean…of course, it’s kind of embarrassing (for you) if someone got to take a look inside your brain and all they would see are the fantasies you have about Sunwoo.

You find the fact that you’d like someone who’s just sooo cocky for their own sake that he just thinks that anyone who stares at him would go down on their knees, begging for attention or at least a glance from him, hilarious and hard to believe yourself.

But no, you were not like that. You were none of that, you were anything but that. You knew just how twisted Sunwoo was—I mean, of course you would… you were the one who was in the backseat of his car, making out with him when everyone was inside the house partying.

No matter how much you deny yourself, you cannot help but blush at the fact that you had made out with Sunwoo on numerous occasions.

Despite all of that you know that Sunwoo isn’t the one. Like the amount of times he had picked someone else over you made it clear that he is not someone who would be committed in a relationship (it’s not even like you were looking for a serious relationship yourself, but the thing is, deep down, you knew that whenever he would not prioritise you, you were of course hurt).

It's not even like you want to settle for the bare minimum, no! That is not who you are, but the times Sunwoo had taken care of you while you were drunk, the times he was there while you were at your lowest, really proved to you that he could be the one.

Only if you both were mature enough (and less egoistic) to realise your feelings for each other sooner, than maybe, maybe, you wouldn’t have been in this situation of push and pull anymore.

-x-

Heaving out a long sigh, you take your heels off as you sit on the footpath with regret and embarrassment.

Regret because you let some dumb fool take you out on a date a day before your birthday, and embarrassment for getting stood up like that.

If you would have known it would turn out like this, you wouldn’t have even agreed to this pathetic date. You knew he was just gonna use you like any other guy. That’s what guys do! But then again, you only agreed to this because your friends were forcing you to ‘live your life’ and to also move on from Sunwoo.

Their exact words would be: ‘Just get over Sunwoo.’ Like, when were you even under him to even get over him was the first thing to come to your mind; but then again…you did make out with him… maybe once? Or like twice (it was more than that for sure) but that’s not the case!

You were never even in love with Sunwoo to get over him or move on from him– they were just being ridiculous as always, was what you said to yourself.

But you knew better. You knew better than that, because of course, you always found yourself going back to him, no matter what the situation or state you were in.

And he was always there to cheer you up, or even just to make you laugh– even if it was just for a little while, that smile lasted you for a whole day.

That’s how Sunwoo was to you. Yes, he was an annoying jerk who was always full of himself and very much selfish, yet, he was also the one who was there for you when you needed him, no? I mean, yeah, he might have ditched you a couple of times, but what’s that gonna do when the amount of times he showed his support to you weighed more than the times he was being ignorant?

As a human, of course you would rather look at the bright side and the times where it was better than the ones in which you felt heartbroken or just…unwanted.

Now, that was also the exact reason why your fingers were automatically dialling Sunwoo’s number. Were you scared that he wouldn't pick up? Yes, but you knew he would. Because it was a rare occurrence for you to call him at this time of the day so he always made sure to pick up the call no matter what– that’s what you observed from him.

It was like an unspoken rule he had for you and only you. Maybe in that way you felt like you were special to him, because you both knew that he wouldn’t come running like that in the middle of the night for anyone but you.

“Can you come and pick me up? I will send you my location,” was all you said as you hung up on the call and sent him your current location.

You did not have to listen to his answer to know that he’s gonna come and get you, because you were more than sure that he will. That’s just how he is.

You stop looking down when you feel a presence standing in front of you. Slowly lifting your head up, you sniffle when your eyes make contact with the one who was standing in front of you, almost breathless.

“What’s wrong, hmm?” He asks gently while kneeling down, taking out a handkerchief from his back pocket and gently wiping the tears which were unknowingly flowing down your cheeks.

The tears were not there because of being stood up, but because of the fact that only now did you realise that you love him.

“Why are you so nice to me but you’re the same person whom I hate from the bottom of my heart?” You mumble quietly as you get up from the floor and hand your heels and purse over to Sunwoo, who held them without asking any questions.

Leaving him behind, you walk towards his car which was parked hastily, maybe because he was bad at parking (that’s a lie and even you knew that.). Entering the passenger seat, you look ahead with no certain thoughts circling your mind.

You just waited for Sunwoo to come in and drive away from here– and that’s exactly what he did, no questions asked. He knew better than to ask you anything about what happened.

With silence engulfing the two of you, you stare outside the window with some soft music playing in the background.

You could see Sunwoo’s reflection through the window– the way the night sky was shining its bright light on him andhis oh so fluffy hair which was a bit messy giving you the slightest urge to fix it for him, but you stopped yourself from doing so.

You stay quiet when Sunwoo stops the car by a small convenience store and leaves you by yourself to get something from there. You didn’t havethe slightest bit of energy in your body to even ask him what he was doing, so you just waited for him to come back.

The only thing which was on your mind right now was to go back to the comforts of your house with your favourite tub of ice cream (and a warm cup of coffee), laying in your bed as you watch your comfort film to ease your mind.

You snap out of your thoughts when you hear the door opening and see Sunwoo getting back into his seat with a plastic bag in his hand. You don’t pay much attention to him and just continue spacing out when you hear his soft, honey like voice again.

“Here.” That was when you realised Sunwoo was handing you chocolate ice cream.

Unknowingly, a small smile creeps up your face as you happily accept it with no further questions asked.

Just like that, Sunwoo started the car again as he drove off from there.

“You’re not in a hurry to go back home, are you?” He asks with his eyes solely focused on the road (with the occasional glances he was stealing at you, but we don’t talk about that).

“Why? You wanna take me out?” You ask teasingly as you take a bite out of your ice cream happily.

“Something like that… I wanna show you something.” You just stare at him when he says that and slowly nod your head. You trusted Sunwoo enough to know that he won’t do anything wrong, especially if you were there with him.

“Lead the way then, I guess.” You reply softly while finishing the rest of your ice cream.

“We’re already there, actually. Come out,” he says excitedly as he gets out of the car and goes to the front., Standing there, he waits for you to join him as he stares up at the night sky.

“The night sky is beautiful…” you say with amusement lacing your voice as you look up in awe.

“Right?” He replies back with a small laugh as he steals a small glance at you, “Do you… want to sit on the hood of the car? I can help you,” he questions softly while turning back to look at you.

Giving him a small nod, you yelp in surprise when Sunwoo lifts you up effortlessly and places you on top of the car.

After a moment of silence, you open your mouth to speak only to close it again, not knowing how to form the right words.

“Say what you want to say. I am all ears,” was all you hear from him as he keeps on contently staring up at the sky.

“Why are you doing all this?” You finally find the courage to ask him as you look down at your fingers, too afraid to look at the expressions he had on his face.

“Doing what? Being nice to you and only you?” He questions you back. There was no hint of teasing or mockery in his tone, yet, you kept on shyly playing with your fingers.

You stop playing with your fingers when Sunwoo gently grabs a hold of them. Looking up at him, you could feel your heart taking a small leap at the way he was so close, yet so far away from you.

He immediately turns around and points up at the sky, “You notice that one star over there? The most still and the clear one?” He asks before looking back at you. When you slowly shake your head, he looks back up again and continues. “That’s a North Pole star. It’s called Polaris and it’s known to be the constant star. It was used in navigation in old times,” he tells you before he hops on top of the car and sits beside you.

“What do you wanna say?” You ask softly as you stare at him in confusion. You did not know why he was talking in riddles like that, but it slightly amused you .

“I don’t want to be someone who is only there when you need me I want to be there when you’re happy, sad, or just… there. I want to be as constant as that star, Y/N. I might be ready to commit again,” he says softly as he takes your hand in his and kisses the back of your hand.

“What if you leave me?” You question him back. You were afraid that he might get bored of you and leave you– maybe that was one of the reasons which was stopping you from expressing yourself fully to him.

“What if I don't? I have been there for you even when we were sworn enemies… but then what if I am there for you not as your enemy, but as your boyfriend?” He explains himself before slowly inching closer towards you. “I want to be there for you Y/N, as your boyfriend and not just some guy you call when you’re in need.”

He says that as he slowly grabs a hold of your jawline,caressing it gently with his fingers while staring into your eyes. “Can I be your boyfriend?” He asks softly while stealing a small glance at your lips before quickly locking his eyes with yours.

When he sees the small glimpse of you nodding your head, he wastes no time and pulls you closer towards him, one hand still caressing your jaw while the other slowly creeps its way up your cheek.

You smile in the kiss when you sense the way he was being soft and gentle– unlike the times when you both had kissed before. This was different.

This kiss held everything which the others lacked– the soft, yet slow movements of his lips against yours as you slowly bring your hand up to his hair to entangle your fingers with the strands.

Pulling away from you, Sunwoo looks at you with a huge smile creeping up to his cheekbones. He goes back to his original position, licking his lips.

“You know what, Sunwoo?” You ask softly while your hands find his bigger ones to hold onto them.

Moving closer towards him, you place your head on his shoulder as you both look up at the sky, “I somehow always seem to find my way back to you,” you tell him with a gentle sigh escaping your lips.

You could hear a soft chuckle escaping his lips, which made you smile in return. “We are both on the same boat, then,” he whispers while placing his own head on top of yours.

[thefantasticfiasco]

You know who I think the real villain is this season?

Infighting.

That comment my man Brennan said about how it takes something impressive to do something every day for hours and how they now need that energy if they are going to write 10 page essays. The way that he reacted with just an "idunno" winky face when Emily asked if the enemy was XP leveling.

I think the bad kid's lesson this season is that people that stand for vastly different things and get to places in vastly different ways can benefit from perspective and VICE VERSA. I think the whole "chaos is not cute" applies to all the bad kids. And while the rat grinders are too buttoned up, they are both fighting for fairness.

It is no mistake that Daddy B (congrats for him an Izzy!) Has made jokes constantly about how the bad kids actually agree with the fairness platform deep down beneath their initial rejection.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm reading things wrong.

But maybe the real enemy is not tho ones we hate. It's our collective hatred of working with people we don't like.

[unknownperson246]

Okay, I have an story idea

Izzy just got back from tour and sees how mentally and psychically exhausted his girlfriend (the reader) is. He helps her with her mental health that has gotten so much worse while he was gone. The house isn’t clean, their bedroom is messy, there was no food in the fridge, she hadn’t showered or eaten in who knows how long. She’s just been in bed for the most part. He’s willing to help her though, he wants to help her get better and to see her happy again

Please n thaaanx!! If you can’t or don’t wanna do it don’t worry about it at all! 😁

Hiii I'm so so sorry it's late I was lazy and didn't want to write for a couple of days. Here it is and I hope you enjoy it also I tried to make it really wholesome. Not as wholesome as some gnr fics where they help the reader feel better tho ❤️

Touring

Words: 955

Warnings: *fluff* *taking care of reader* *angst* *depression*

✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ:*

Izzy was coming home today. You and the house were a mess and you were so physically and mentally exhausted. No matter how hard you try to live your life nothing seems to be going right. Your boyfriend who you were waiting a long time for entered the house. He watched the cat run around excited that his other owner was here. The only thing you had the energy to do was feed your cat because you couldn't neglect your pet. Izzy watched you in bed as he came in. When he came into the house it was like a tornado passed through it. Izzy hadn't even been this messy with his living space on tour. He wasn't judging you. He was paper cups and plates everywhere on the kitchen island and the table. Pieces of rotting food were on the floor. You didn't have enough energy to throw anything away. He took all the disposable things and threw them away for you. He knew how bad things could get with him when he wasn't feeling well. He was glad to take care of you. He knew your mental health was bad but it had gotten worse while he was on tour. He went to the bedroom. He knew you were in there sulking and lying in your bed. When he entered the room there were a bunch of clothes and used cigarettes on the floor. He saw paper ashes everywhere. He saw the dresser and how unorganized things were there. Your makeup jewelry and clothes are scattered on the floor and the side table. The floor was covered in dust particles. Izzy noticed all of your clothes were used up and you just put on your last pair of clean shirt and shorts. Izzy also noticed you hadn't showered at all.

“Hey babe.” He said going to the bed you were on.

“Hi,” You said dryly.

“You okay?” He asked you.

“I think so,” You say turning away with a sad face.

“You look so sick. Have you been eating anything?” He asked you like he was an investigator.

“No,” You say quietly.

“Let me go grab you something to eat.” He said running down the stairs and going to the fridge. 

The doors swung open and the fridge was empty. The only food that was in there was the food Izzy bought before he left. He went back upstairs to the bedroom avoiding the mess on the floor by walking over to where there were any empty spots because he didn’t want to step on any of your things. He made his way to the bed.

“Babe you gotta eat something. The food that I brought before the tour was never touched. I’m going to go get fresh groceries and make you whatever you want.” He said.

“I’m not hungry,” You say followed by a sigh.

“I’m going to buy groceries anyway and if you change your mind just let me know” He smiles at you and walks out the door. 

He comes back with a handful of groceries and he puts them down and he goes to the room to check on you.

“How are you doing?” he asked you.

“I'm fine,” you say. 

Izzy goes to the bathroom and turns the shower on. 

“Hop in babe,” he says looking at you.

You get up and your hair is messy. You take your clothes off and get in the shower. 

“I'll be right back,” Izzy says.

He picks up all the dirty clothes and throws them into the laundry. He comes back with his clothes that are nice and fresh. His large T-shirt and a pair of shorts that also fit you. He put the clothes on top of a towel for you. He changes the bedsheets into clean and fresh ones. He puts the clothes on the bed and goes to the bathroom. He grabs your shampoo.

“Hey hon,” he says quickly as he opens the shower door. 

“Close your eyes,” he says.

You close your eyes as he pours the mint shampoo on your head. He starts using his hands to gently massage it onto your hair. Once all your hair was slathered with soft foam he got you to put body wash all over your body. He turned the water a bit down so it wouldn't wash off while you rubbed it all in your body. Once you were done the pressure of the water was higher and you felt your body get clean as soon as the water hit you. Izzy watched you use your hands to clean everything off. After 15 minutes in the shower, he handed you a towel and his clothes so you could get changed. 

“Thank you,” you say beaming at him.

“No problem, just come downstairs when you're done. Oh and uh I changed the bedsheets too and put all the clothes in the washing machine” he said looking back while he was halfway through the door frame. 

“Y/N all I want for you is to be happy again,” he says 

“You make me happy Iz,” you say to him as he walks out and makes you dinner. 

You could smell the food from all the way downstairs. You still don't have any of your appetite.  It takes you around 16 minutes to get ready and to go downstairs. You went downstairs and you forgot to dry your hair with the towel. 

“Izzy, I forgot my towel,” you say softly. 

Izzy abandoned the food on the pan for a minute and went to grab you another towel. He helped you wrap it around your head to get your hair to dry. You fell asleep on the couch halfway before dinner was made. 

[sireditsalot4]

Summary: You have a hard time controlling your emotions and feelings around Cristina. The gang tries to help you but deep down you know you have to do this yourself.

Pairing: Reader x Cristina Yang

You sat down at the table where the gang is and let out a sigh of relief. Due to an illegal race accident, Dr. Shepard had you everyone, testing, doing surgery’s left and right. You were exhausted.

“Woah. What’s the matter with you?” Alex asks.

“I’m not in the mood for you right now.” You warn, pointing your fork at him at the last part. Alex doesn’t light up. “Come on, what is it? I’m your friend. You can tell me anything.” He reassures with that voice that makes your jaw tighten.

“I’m not going to be able to enjoy my meal, am I?” Alex shakes his head. Meredith rolls her eyes. “Leave them alone. They’re going through something right now, something personal,” Meredith adds. You shake your head knowing that won’t be enough. “How come you told them and not me?” Alex says, sounding slightly hurt.

“I didn’t know.” George says looking around the table. A sigh escapes you and you could careless. Any control you had went out the window.

Your beeper goes off and you quickly check it to see it’s Dr. Shepard again. “Come on!” You drop your fork with a piece of lettuce you just stabbed and get up.

Slipping your arm through the white coat, you stop In front of Dr. Shepherd. You see he has a chart full of names unchecked and you can feel yourself collapsing on the inside. “You needed me?” You ask, making eye contact.

“There you are, I need you to check on some patients and then do a rectal exam.” Disgust plasters on your face but you quickly dismiss it. “Yes Doctor.” He hands over a chart and you take it, turning and leaving to begin your new quest.

“I have a hot patient to attend to, so if you’ll excuse me.” Alex gets up. George waits for Alex to be completely gone before asking. “What’s really going on with Y/N?” Meredith and Izzie both look at each other. “You can’t tell him or anyone tho. She made us promise not to tell anyone so you have to not tell, pinky swear.” Izzie holds out her pinky. “I promise. Now what’s going on?”

“Y/N likes Cristina.”

George’s mouth opens in shock. “Wow. I mean, who wouldn’t. Does Cristina know?” Meredith shakes her head. “She’s too scared. Stuff like this is rough, especially for someone young.” All three of them nod.“Remember when I had a crush on you,” Meredith nods. “I remember. It was the cutest I’ve seen you.”

You snap your gloves off and rubs your hands on your coat. “Why is this happening to me?” You whisper to yourself. Looking ahead, you see Cristina talking with Doctor Burke and duck behind a corner. This is so sad. Peaking your head out, you see they are both gone and fully come out and running into Cristina who has a look on her face. You silently scream and place a hand over your chest. “You scared me.”

“You scared me. Who are you hiding from?” Cristina asks, looking around. You freeze looking at her, your mouth opens and close but nothing comes out. “From Dr. Shepherd. He has me every where right now so I’m just hiding,” You take a second to gather yourself, hoping she doesn’t notice.

Cristina eyes you before nodding. “I haven’t seen him down here so he’s probably upstairs. See you.” She says before leaving. You let out a deep breath before heading upstairs for Dr. Shepherd. Way to go.

[garbinge]

Library Daycare (2)

Angel Reyes x OC Isabeth ‘Izzy’ Flores 30 Day Fic Challenge (14/30)

Word Count: 3k A/N: I feel like I say this for a majority of my fics but this post-canon world I've thought up for Angel and Maverick is my favorite, I think about it everyday, I just, want him to be happy even tho most of my ideas for this are angsty HAHA.

Warnings: All my fics are 18+ regardless of content. Light angst.

Mayans Taglist: @drabbles-mc @justreblogginfics @narcolini @danzer8705 @keyweegirlie @kmc1989 Previous fic for reference.

Angel stepped into the library, Maverick in his arms and was staring at the bulletin board. His eyes were scanning over each flyer and business card that was pinned to it. The list of jobs that Angel felt capable of was slim. There were a lot of options, prep cook, lab assistant, front desk organizer, medical assistants, nurses, but none of those were things that Angel had any experience with. That’s when his eyes landed on the business card that was pinned to the flyer that said Farm Hand needed, the business card on top reading Rancho de Valle - Este. His free hand reached up to grab the information from the pin so he could get a closer look. 

Farm hand, operating and maintaining machinery, harvesting and planting crops, repairs, occasional livestock caring. Full time, housing on premise provided if desired, hourly pay, overtime opportunities, and medical insurance. 

“El Ranchitos.” A voice sounded behind him. 

He turned around immediately, a little startled by the voice while Maverick on the other hand cooed in excitement as he saw who was behind them. 

“Sorry I did not mean to scare you.” Izzy smiled at Angel and turned her gaze onto Maverick. Her hand quickly reached out to grab his foot. “Hi, you. I missed you.” Her voice was soft now, she didn’t want to scary anyone again. 

“You caught me deep in thought, that’s all.” Angel laughed as he adjusted Maverick in his arms. 

“Yes, El Ranchitos.” She repeated again pointing to the papers again. 

Angel looked down not seeing El Ranchitos anywhere on the forms and looked back at the woman he had brief conversations with over the last few months. “You’re familiar with them?” 

“De Valle’s are very well known in this town. They own all of El Ranchitos, de Valle Este is the one closest to the city that is a harvesting ranch, they have others in the city but they’re more like resorts, they had to adapt with the change of the world.” Izzy explained. “They’re good people, kind, understanding. I think de Valle Este is like 10 minutes from here by car.” 

“Thanks, yea I think I’m going to apply. Everything else is a bit out of my range.” Angel laughed awkwardly. “Just gotta figure out what I’m gonna do with him while I’m working, maybe I could hire someone to watch him if I take them up on this on premise housing.” He was thinking outloud now, but it was just a symptom of having no one above the age of 2 to talk with here. 

Izzy was leaning over in front of him now, reaching for something on the bulletin board. Her hand began searching around until she found what she was looking for and pulled it from the pin. “It isn’t a nanny, but we watch the kids all day, feed them, read to them, use the playground outside on good weather days, it’s a small group too.” 

“We?” Angel questioned his eyes moving from the library daycare flier to Izzy’s face.

“Okay, I, it’s my initiative. We did a trial run this summer with a handful of kids and it went pretty well. We have about 8 kids right now signed up for the school year, all local, have room for 10, I think Maverick would be a great addition.” Izzy grinned again, now looking at Maverick who giggled and brought his hands out to her in hope to be held by her. 

“How was I around like all summer and didn’t notice this?” Angel laughed and happily gave the child over to Izzy. 

These last few months he had gotten extremely comfortable with the woman and honestly safe with her, Angel as well. These last few months have consisted of Angel coming to most of the library events because not only did Maverick enjoy them but because they offered him peace around people which he didn’t have much of since leaving Santo Padre. There was a constant fear, a persistence to always look over his shoulder, double guess everyone he met, everyone who walked too close to him on the street, but at the library it was like that fear was nonexistent. He had made a friend in Izzy, which was exactly what he needed right now. 

“I have two other people that help out, it allows one of us to take off, or be more flexible around the library.” She answered as she bounced Maverick up and down in her arms. “They’re actually running daycare now, if you want to check it out.” Her eyes moved back to Angel as Maverick’s little hands picked up her I.D. that was draped around her neck with a lanyard. “No pressure.” She let out an awkward laugh. 

“No, yea.” Angel spoke up which earned him a confused look from the woman holding his child across from him. He smiled realizing how confusing his statement was. “I just meant we’d love to check it out.” 

Izzy nodded and brought them both to the children’s area of the library and opened up the decent size circular room that currently had a group of kids of a variety of ages drawing on tables. 

“Sticker drawing. Helps them with open ended exploration, we let the older kids come up with a story based on their drawings and the younger ones like it too.” She was placing Maverick down on the ground and he was quick to find himself at the small table grabbing a sheet of his own. 

“How big is the age range?” Angel wasn’t sure why he was asking questions, he knew this was the best place for Maverick if he was to get this job. 

“Right now 1 through 5. This group is a bit older because it’s the summer.” She put her hands over her chest as she watched over the kids. 

 Before Angel could answer there was a little girl who was about 4 walking up to Izzy holding out her sheet of paper towards her. 

“Wow, that’s beautiful.” The little girl was being brought up into her arms and instantly throwing her own around Izzy’s neck. 

“Well the kids sure love you.” Angel smiled. 

“I hope this one does.” Izzy rocked from side to side similarly to how she was with Maverick just minutes earlier, but this time she looked at the girl in her arms and kissed the side of her head. “This one’s mine.” 

Angel found himself at a loss of words at that statement. He didn’t expect it. It automatically made him think about his friendship with Izzy, this was something huge that she so easily went without mentioning. Then again, it wasn’t like she knew everything about his life, but she knew a lot about his current life, and this felt very much like her current life. Between not knowing about the daycare and now her child, he felt like he needed to take a major step back. 

“Are you okay?” She interrupted Angel’s thoughts. 

“Yea, sorry. Just didn’t realize you had a kid.” Angel wanted to rewind the last 10 seconds so he never said those words. 

Izzy’s face dropped a little and she looked back down at her daughter and placed her back on the ground and stayed at her level for a moment. “Go back with your friends, Abrielle.” 

As she stood up she turned to Angel, and nodded towards the door. For a moment he hesitated and looked at Maverick. “You can take him, but Olivia doesn’t mind watching him.” She pointed to the woman with the lanyard similar to her own that was at the smaller kids table. With a nod, Angel was walking out of the room and standing awkwardly in front of Izzy. 

“I know you understand the need for privacy, Angel. The need to keep things to yourself. If I recall the first time I met you, I put my own address in for your library card because you were two nervous to give out information.” It felt scolding almost the way she was speaking. 

“I–” Angel went to speak but she cut him off by holding up her finger and speaking over him. 

“I don’t need a reason to make a choice regarding my child, Angel.” Her accent came out strong when she said his name. “You out of all people should get that.” 

“I do, I’m sorry. I just thought we were friends.” Again, Angel was wishing he would just keep his mouth shut. 

Izzy sighed, her guard immediately falling down and with a shake of her head she spoke. “We are friends, Angel. I just need to be cautious with her.” 

“I get that.” He nodded. “I didn’t mean to do whatever this is.” He waved his hand around and laughed awkwardly. “If anything, I’m glad you felt comfortable to tell me, it’s cool, having a parent friend. Haven’t had many of those really.” 

“Well if you do the daycare thing, you’ll make more during pickup and dropoff.” She matched his humorous tone. 

“Don’t know if I want that.” He chuckled nervously.

“Why do you think I don’t tell many people I have a child.” Her eyebrows raised and her mouth curled into a smile. 

Angel laughed. “Well then I’m honored to be accepted amongst the few.” He looked through the window of the daycare door and saw Maverick laughing at something and he turned back to Izzy. “I’d like to sign him up, even if I don’t get this job, this is the right place for him.” 

Izzy smiled at that comment, she went to say something but bit her tongue immediately. Her desire to say that this is the best place for Maverick and him was high but she held back and simply nodded. 

“Let’s get you two signed up then.”