#jackass language!

[clove-pinks]

The Hermaphrodite brig, or brig-schooner, is square-rigged at her foremast like a brig, but without a top forward, and carrying only a fore-and-aft mainsail and gaff topsail on the mainmast. And here it may not be out of place to mention another subtlety: while a barque has three masts, being square-rigged at her fore and main like a ship, and differing from a ship-rigged vessel in having no top at her mizzen, but carrying a fore-and-aft spanker and gaff topsail, yet what is known among sailormen as the "Jackass" barque resembles a barque proper, but has no crosstrees, does not spread lower courses and has no tops.

Illustration and text from Sailing Ships: the Story of their Development from Earliest Times to the Present Day, by Edward Keble Chatterton (1909).

[dcrlvz]

vito waffle

[godsworstson]

thinking about the cky guys saying that ryan and bam cuddle every time they're on tour together

[alcego]

some of y'all need to focus less on the origin of a colloquialism because at this rate we're all going to have to use Corpo Speak 24/7 to avoid having one of you asshats going "erm actually let's not call things lame"

[nachosncheezies]

Something that I have observed, in life and in fandom spaces, is that vast cultural and linguistic differences are often unknown, and this has become especially apparent as social usage of the internet has grown worldwide. It's no one's fault. Nobody is "less than" or unintelligent or whatever else for not recognizing it. It's simply something that you can't really know, I think, without being directly exposed to it either by education or personal experience.

I've been lucky to have been something of a nomad, but that comes with its challenges which go way beyond the practical or homesickness. I can say that even within the English language there are VAST regional and cultural differences in modes of expression. Interestingly, the folks I've known who MOST seem to recognize it are linguists and especially professional translators - professions where a recognition of the importance of localized metaphor, unspoken nuance, idiomatic expressions, etc, are absolutely KEY to success. But I digress.

Based on my own experience, I believe that internationally common tongues sometimes fail us to a degree because of this. In some places, culture is more "individualized" - a sort of "what can I do" which often includes a sort of "me against the world" outlook. (I do not mean selfishness. Not at all. I mean it's a starting point, not a goal.) Presenting one's thoughts can best be accomplished by conveying strong, even absolute conviction in one's position, which - "me against the world" - can lead to generalized and sometimes forceful statements. At home, that would be a starting point for discussion and debate, and would be returned in kind. In other places, discussion takes more of an "improv comedy" style, wherein "yes, and..." is the mode of debate. In still others, the places and types of silence can convey just as much about someone's position and can be just as persuasive as words themselves. Sarcasm is especially regionalized, and conveyed differently from place to place. Body language is universally important in adding nuance or clarification to any statement in any place. Put these sorts of things in a blender, and you can easily find misunderstandings where some come off aggressive or as "talking down" to others, others unusually meek, still others appearing to agree when actually, they are not agreeing at all, etc.

I have also observed that in real life situations, differences in regional accents afford a certain amount of grace toward these differences, even when we're not actively conscious of any of the above. (This, I can say with absolute certainty, because I have also lived in a few places long enough to have taken on a floating accent, and when I'm visiting any of these places for more than a day or so, that grace if I stumble back into other modes of expression disappears with whichever accent I got off the plane with 😂)

Unfortunately, online, we don't have this constant audible reminder that a person is something of an "other" coming from some other place where modes of communication may be different. Even people who deal with language as their professional bread and butter can easily forget in online spaces. We tend to hear whatever we read in our local accent, and things such as metaphor and sarcasm may be misconstrued, "individualized conviction" modes may come across as shocking and rude, or the many and varied uses of silence may go completely unnoticed, etc.

Anyway. If you have read this whole novella, thank you. 💕 I have debated posting something like this for a looong time, because I wonder sometimes if conflict I see within fandoms (and educational groups, and professional groups, and and and) might arise, fundamentally, from these sorts of misunderstandings. I do not intend it as a callout to any person or group of people. Perhaps, hopefully, simply food for thought.

[slugass]

“but that’s SOOOO STOOPID and anyone with more BRAINCELLS than a-“

*abandons your video cutely*

[warning long rant in tags]

[or-did-i-dont-didnt-send-it]

edd straw u dumb cunt im in ur fucking walls

[commander-krios]

Dust in the Wind - 07 - Galaxy’s Best Pilot

art by me1onmi1k

Summary: Jeff Moreau has always fought twice as hard to gain the same amount of respect as his fellow officers. He didn’t expect to have that in common with a biotic with a famous last name. -or- The time that Joker befriended the future first Human Spectre.

Rating: Mature

Characters: Jeff “Joker” Moreau, Aurora Shepard, David Anderson, Hannah Shepard, Kaidan Alenko, Daniel Shepard, Charles Pressly, Major Kyle

Notes: Pre-Canon, Friendship, Future Shoker, Canon Typical Violence, Explicit Language

Chapter 7: “Galaxy’s Best Pilot”

The distress call had been intercepted only an hour before. Now the ship hung in orbit above Gei Hinnom, a rocky planet that was a former mining site of element zero and a Prothean dig site. At the moment, there was no one occupying the place except a native varren population.

“The crash site is about 7 kilometers from that mountain range.” Captain Davies pointed at the spot on the geographical scans they’d made. “You'll have to land the shuttle about 4 kilometers away. The ground team will have to walk a bit, but it’s safer than getting close to the varren den or the cliffs.”

He didn’t wait for acknowledgement. Instead, the Captain turned on his heels and stomped off down the walkway towards the CIC. Jeff rolled his eyes, taking a deep breath to calm his suddenly frayed nerves. It wasn’t like this was the first time he’d dropped in the shuttle, but the thought of hungry wild varren didn’t appeal to his sense of self preservation.

The shuttle was already prepped, his co-pilot waiting at the controls. Of course, it was notorious shitheel Nate Doyle. He never had the best luck with partners for their training missions, but someone must be particularly pissed at him to give him this idiot. Despite Jeff’s fragility due to his condition, he was still one of the best pilots in flight school. Nate Doyle… Well, he was the worst, there was no argument there. He was at the bottom of their class, even doing a stunt so risky that he was given the call sign of ‘Dice.’ As in roll the dice and see what stupid shit he was going to do next.

Doyle glanced over his shoulder as Jeff shuffled in, leaning a little too heavy on his crutches. “Hey, nice of you to show up. I was about to do the drop alone.”

Jeff resisted the urge to laugh. “Sure you were.”

Read on AO3 | The Playlist    

[what-the-fuck-khr]

someone asked for Ukraine’s language to be added to Genshin, someone said it was “unnecessary” I said “accessibility to others isn’t unnecessary they want to play in their native language and not English that’s a fine thing to ask for” and then I was told “they should get over themselves English isn’t my native language but I play fine, they’re making everything about them, they should just learn English there’s a reason it’s called the universal language”

I am going to rip your fucking eyes out

[meme-loving-stuck]

me seeing people misinterpret my post about a very specific thing and add a bunch of only slightly tangentially-related things to make an unnecessary argument: nope hand em over!

[mortola]

making americans jealous w how many languages ik . . . . latines are boring until we demonstrate a presence or identity beyond the linear origin-migration-destination trajectory

[reijnders]

mistake. mistake. girls will make mistakes

[yuurei20]

Twisted Wonderland Curse Word Compilation: Main Story

⚠️Language Warning!⚠️

Note: these localizations are not literal translations (“くそ” does not literally mean “to damn something,” for example), and are more so examples of what the characters might be saying if they were speaking American English ^^

This post was made in collaboration with the wonderful @irafuwas to whom I am most grateful for the wonderful explanations ♡

#1: くそ (kuso)

An interjection used to express feelings like anger, frustration, disappointment.

Meaning: Dammit/damn it, damn, god damn it, shit, bloody hell, fucking hell, fuck

Ace is the #1 user of this word in the main story, repeating it at least 5 times from the prologue to Book 6.

Jamil repeats it at least four times from Books 4 to 6, Grim at least three times and Deuce at least twice.

Cater,  Epel, Idia, Kalim and General Lilia all use it at least once.

(Note: there seems to be a rumor that Epel uses very dirty language that is being hidden by his dialect, but I did not find this to be the case ^^ I collected all examples of Epel slipping into his natural dialect in the main story and it is mostly just normal words in an accent. He will use casual verb forms with his senpai, which is impolite in a similar way, but he is not using literal curse words.)

#2 ち (tch)

Not so much a word as it is an onomatopoeia, “tch” is still very impolite and is used to express frustration or disdain. It can be considered equivalent to clicking one’s tongue, tsking, or tutting.

Leona is the #1 user of this sound, repeating it at least 30 times from the prologue to Book 7.

General Lilia repeats it at least six times (as of Book 7-4), Jack repeats it at least six times, three times for Floyd, three times for Ace and at least two times each for Azul, Idia and Jamil. It is also used at least one by Cater, Baur, Sebek and an unnamed person in Book 5.

#3 馬鹿 / バカ (baka)

Meaning: Idiot, moron, fool, dumb ass, dummy, stupid

Leona is the #1 user of this word in the main story, repeating it at least 8 times (at least five of which were in a kind of cute way, possibly to make it sound less harsh as it is when he is speaking to Ruggie).

Ace uses this word at least five times (three times to insult Deuce specifically).

Azul uses this word twice, as does Deuce, although one time is just him agreeing with Ace and insulting himself.

Jamil also uses the word twice, as does Lilia (one normal-Lilia, one General-Lilia).

Jack, Jade, Floyd, Epel, Vil, Idia and Sebek also use it at least once each.

#4 野郎 (yarou)

“Yarou” has a literal meaning of “guy” or “dude”, but can be used in a derogatory manner with a meaning of “asshole” or “jackass”.

It can be attached to an otherwise neutral noun to turn it into an insult, which Leona has a penchant for doing, depending on who he is talking about (e.g., snake-yarou for Jamil, octopus-yarou for Azul, etc.).

Leona uses this word a lot, repeating it at least 11 times in the main story.

Unnamed students, Azul, Deuce and soldiers in Book 7 also use it, while General Lilia will sometimes use it to refer to his own men.

#5 ちくしょう (chikushou)

An interjection used to express feelings like anger, frustration, disappointment 

Meaning: Dammit/damn it, damn, god damn it, shit, bloody hell, fucking hell, fuck

Another word used similarly to how “dammit” is used in American English (it is a little harsher than kuso, maybe), Epel uses it at least three times in the main story.

Deuce uses it twice, as do unnamed students at the school, Ace once and General Lilia once (as of 7-4).

#6 間抜け (manuke)

Meaning: fool, moron, blockhead, half-wit, idiot.

This word is used to insult someone for lacking awareness or being absent-minded.

Leona uses it at least twice in the main story, and it is also a part of the string of insults that Jamil delivers to Kalim in Book 4.

#7 アホ (aho)

This is a common insult similar to “idiot” or “stupid,” used at least once by Ace and once by Deuce (in a more slang way) in the main story.

[stuck-writing-sickos]

In Poor Taste [P3]

[Series Link]

(Yandere × F! Reader)

[Warning: explicit language, uncomfortable interaction, pushiness]

[A/N: ok, the pace has been slow, but it's gonna pick up in the next chapter 🙏🙏🙏thank u guys for supporting my story so far. Lmk how we feel about Lukas and Yuki ❤️❤️❤️]

You were never crazy about spoiled rich men. They were nothing but troubles.

Yuki Sakamoto didn't like the new guy. He would never say that, but he would think it. From across the teacher's lounge he would see the newcomer sitting with his head tilted back, his feet gliding on the floor as he played with the office chair. The carefree manner with which this American carried himself was a sore thorn he couldn't avoid seeing, given that Yuki's tall frame forced his head to peak past the cubicle walls, alligning his vision perfectly with the sight.

Yuki supposed this guy should not be his problem. After all, the foreign department had never been not loud and unkempt, save for the few dilligent teachers who kept to themselves, fading in and out silently like shadows. He managed the Science subsection, and from what he heard, this freckled eyesore would fall into Literature. Into your hand.

So, not his problem.

Still, he couldn't help but feel the irksomeness. Yuki blamed the summer heat. The window directly behind him was catching bright sunlight, and the flimsy blinds could not filter out enough heat. The suffocating AC air wasn't of much help, what with roughly 30 other teachers recycling their breaths between 4 walls. The cicada's maddening screams was adding to Yuki's mood - his blaring headphone could not mask them. His fingers danced across his sleek keyboard, desperate to punch in the last exam's score to the excel sheets. He felt his heavy eyelids drooping and his tense shoulders slouching. Yet, across from him, the newbie was scrolling on his phone, gliding on the chair's wheel as if he was a bored guest.

Yuki wondered if you even assigned this jackass anything, or if you had simply taken on the workload yourself. You had always been like that: quiet and accepting. Surrendering. You let your department get away with too much. At that thought, he couldn't help but chew on his lip a little. A poor boss, that was what you were. You didn't know how to distribute workload, leaving your guys dependent and spoiled. Yuki much preferred his team: quick, straight to the point, and no nonsense.

He felt bad for you. It couldn't be helped, though: you had the expertise that compelled his respect, but your reluctant attitude was wearing you down. Your team sure knew how to take advantage of that.

Lost in his thought and the repetitive manual task, Yuki let himself flinch a little at the bell. He glanced at his americano now so dilluted that the coffee had sunken to the bottom, leaving melted icecubes and murky cold water to float atop. The sweat building around the plastic cup left a puddle on his desk. Yuki wiped it off, his face souring. He didn't even finish his coffee before lunchtime.

Maybe he was in a bad mood because he was hungry and insufficiently caffeinated.

The door slid open. Here you were, walking in silently. You never made loud sounds. Even when you spoke, your voice was soft and quiet. Yuki could never really make out what you were saying if he hadn't paid close attention.

"Mr. Sakamoto?"

That would be him.

Your meek voice barely reached him from over there. Yuki saw you setting your books down in your cubicle. His head perched up as he smiled at you. He had a soft spot for you, despite his opinions on your management skills. In truth, he was worried, and when he couldn't voice his concern for you to the degree he felt, his worries fermented into frustration. Seeing that new slack-off playing on his phone right beside your cubicle could not have helped.

"Yes, I'm ready", he smiled and stood up, knocking on his chair gently. It slid backward a touch too far, and he awkwardly fumbled as he set it back into its place.

By chance, he had become your lunch buddies for the last 2 years. The first year, he didn't care to get to know you all that much. By the second year, Yuki's walls had gone down after your serious attitude proved to be consistent, and it was completely dismantled ever since he discovered your music taste and his was a perfect fit. He liked to talk to you: you were gentle and kind, not overly affectionate or friendly, something he didn't expect from the foreign dept. Plus, you tried to accompany him during lunch as often as possible. "Why", he did ask you one time, and you simply responded with "well, it's no fun eating alone". But you never specified who was "alone", and he didn't feel like pushing it.

As he made his way toward you, Yuki saw the new guy stood up with an expectant look. "Well, where are we going?" - he asked, his head turned toward you. Yuki's nose scrunched at that, but it quickly relaxed so as for you not to notice. Was that something you had planned?

You seemed dumbfounded, too. Your wide eyes darted between both men, lingering on Yuki to scan his reaction.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I don't think I ever introduced Mr.Lukas to you, Mr. Sakamoto", you laughed nervously, your hand gesturing to direct Lukas' attention to him, "Mr. Lukas here is going to be a new member of my team. He will also be working on the summer program with us."

Upon closer look, Yuki found less reasons to like Lukas. This was clearly a fresh grad who only came to Tokyo for the experience. He could see the lack of care in his boyish face - he was not taking much seriously.

Yuki would not say that. But he would think it.

"Pleased to meet you", he said, shaking the outstretched hand that Lukas silently offered. He could feel the weight of the man's stare.

The feeling was mutual, then.

The awkward silence was heavy. Yuki shifted. He was about to just leave you to it on the off-chance that he was interrupting when you suddenly spoke: "I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Lukas. I was hoping to discuss some confidential work details with Mr. Sakamoto. Can we have lunch together another time?"

"Oh?" Lukas arched his brows at you, incredulity left bare on his face. Yuki felt himself internally scowling when his empty green eyes turn to his direction, as if to ask for confirmation.

How rude. How very, very rude.

"Apologies, Mr. Lukas", he came to your aids, "there were some issues with her contract regarding the summer program. I would love for you to join us for lunch any other day."

"Does tomorrow work?"

Yuki was stunned. He was used to pushiness from new employees who were clueless about Japanese social cues, but never to this extent. From the 2 years he had spent in Australia, Yuki had gathered that this conversation was an evident rejection. He wondered if this kid was dumb or purposefully grating.

Before he could open his mouth, you interrupted between nervous laughter: "Of course, Mr. Lukas. See you tomorrow!"

"Okay. Bye you guys. Good to meet you Sakayono!"

Yuki was wide-eyed. He saw Lukas' smug eyes challenging him.

"Very well then", he said, bewildered. You followed him, your eyes somewhere as big as his own.

Only until the teacher's cafeteria did Yuki peeped about Lukas.

"How's the new kid?"

Your expression dropped as you settled in to your seat, your neat lunchboxes unwrapped from the handkerchief.

"Well, he's not a kid. He's only 4 years younger than you."

Yuki's mood was getting to him, and he let it slip- "as far as attitudes go, that's a kid to me."

You didn't react. Perhaps you shared his opinion. Lukas opened his own packed meal, lightheaded now. His eyes were still readjusting to natural light after staring at a screen for too long.

"I agree, he's quite young. But I'm hoping he would be a good addition to the team. He did sign a 2-year contract."

Yuki found your feigned optimism both sad and frustrating. Sad because you were trying so hard to be professional when that eyesore wasn't, and frustrating because he was personally disrespected just moments ago.

"Are you for real?"

You painfully laughed.

"I know... I know... but what else can I do beside my best, right? Plus, he is actually smart. All the task I handed him was done like", you snapped your fingers, "that."

"Well, that's ... good. I guess that's why he was sitting like that all morning."

"Yeah, but hey, he got his job done. He is pretty new. I'm sure he will learn about the culture soon enough."

Your eyes scanned his face. It seemed he was too tired to hide his feelings.

"Sakamoto, please don't worry. I will be fine. There are better things to look forward to, right? Like your show tonight!"

Yuki bashfully looked down at his half-eaten meal, his ears going red. He had been performing underground since ever, but hearing it from other people's mouth never failed to render him an embarrassed mess. Likely it was the switch-up: he still found it hard to balance between his daytime self as a serious teacher and the "him" who played electrice guitar to drunken crowds under blinding stage lights. You knew his secret - you, someone from work, someone that happened to stumble upon the flyer his band had posted online last December wherein his face was unfortunately unmasked. Before they took it down, you had managed to take a screenshot and rushed to him. "You?" -your dreadful message read above the attached picture. Yuki still shuddered remembering that moment: his blood was cold as ice.

Sometimes, that's what happens when your music tastes match perfectly.

"It's... nothing special."

"Well, I'll be there this time, for sure."

Before Yuki could thank you for the support, he was once again startled.

"Be where?"

Too engrossed in the conversation, he was caught by complete surprise when Lukas towered over the table. In sync, you and Yuki turned, neck craning to meet eyes with the young trainee.

Lukas stared you down, disregarding completely the other end of the conversation. Once again invisible, Yuki uncomfortably readjusted his glasses.

"Oh, um...We were just talking about-

Lukas leaned closer, his frame closing in on you. Your eyes met Yuki's in a moment of panic before going back to the man who looked as if he was in an interrogation. Yuki now could notice the quality of the obnoxious new guy's clothes - nicely ironed blue button-up with seamless stitching, and a long pair of slacks with a glistening leather belt. Must be alligator skin, Yuki thought to himself, barely hiding disdain toward the wastefulness.

"I'm sorry", Lukas spoke, his voice slow and deeper than usual, "I couldn't quite hear you. You have a very soft voice."

"Oh, sorry. I was just talking about-

"It's an underground punk rock show", Yuki interrupted smilingly, "we were just talking about how nice it would be if we could attend one some day."

Lukas turned to him only partly, his body still pointed at you.

"Oh? Is one happening tonight? I'd love to catch one, too."

"I didn't know you were into rock music."

"Well, I'd love to try out new things. I'm in Japan, for starter."

"Unfortunately we both have plans tonight, so even if there were any, we wouldn't be able to make it."

"Both of you? A plan together?" - Lukas now turned to you again.

"Not together...", you patiently responded, your eyes downcasted, "I'm having dinner with a friend, and Mr. Sakamoto here has something else going on."

Now blatantly ignoring Yuki, Lukas chuckled.

"I didn't know you were into punk rock. You didn't tell me that over drinks last Friday."

Yuki knew too well it wasn't out of the ordinary for a senior colleague to fratenize with a junior early into a job, but the attitude on Lukas and the didrespectful way he framed it left a bad aftertaste in his mouth.

He now found the persistent smile on Lukas' face very, very, very shitty.

"It wasn't something worth mentioning", you shook your head.

"Well, then I definitely will catch a show soon!"

Yuki felt like a crazy person watching this chucklefuck flirt. He was close to be embarrassed on his behalf - just juvenile and completely out of bound.

"Mr. Lukas", he cut in, "if you don't mind, we would love to catch up with you any other time. As we said, we were hoping to discuss some confidential materials."

"I thought you guys were talking punk rock?"

"It was just a passing thought."

Lukas looked to you who nodded in agreement.

"Oh, my bad, my bad. I'm still new to all the- you know! Well don't mind me, then."

Yuki waited for the guy to disappear completely behind the cafeteria door for his expression to sour. He could not hide it any longer.

"Good kid", he snarkily commented. You slumped in your seat, your eyes squeezed shut tight.

"Should we just get him the hell out of this school before he actually causes you trouble?" Yuki pressed.

Your face fell at that. You looked down, your fingers tapping on the table softly. Your chest heaved.

"I'm sorry... I overstepped."

"No", you waved your hand, trying to play it off, as if your voice didn't crack, "it's okay. I'm fine. You didn't-

If it was Lukas' plan for lunch to be unbearably awkward, he got what he wanted.

"Hey, don't you worry. Wanna see something that will make you feel better?"

Make him feel better? You were the one that needed that care. Yuki opened his mouth to protest, but you were quicker to flash your phone screen toward him.

The QR code to his show.

"See? I won't backtrack this time, for sure! I felt bad to get sick right before your last show."

Yuki's chest still felt heavy, but the way you reacted just then told him to drop it.

"Don't beat yourself up about that. You couldn't help getting sick."

You sheepishly grinned.

"I know... but I was sad to miss it. Well, this time there is no way I would!"

Yuki laughed.

"Thank you... we're no good, but I'm glad you'll be there."

"I already listened to your album, you know."

"I know."

When lunch was over, Yuki still felt a nagging anxiousness. He couldn't blame the hunger now. Clearly, something else bothered him. He wanted to say it was the lack of caffeine or carbonhydrate in his meal, but he knew that it was neither. It was the creep that cornered you, and likely will so many more times in the next two years.

His suspicion was in some way validated almost immediately. Right as he returned to the teacher lounge, his eyes met Lukas' monitor which displayed a punk rock clothing website. Lukas himself was nowhere in sight and neither were you - it was most likely that you had taken him to observe some lessons.

Upon this discovery, Yuki couldn't help the part of himself that found Lukas pathetic and desperate. So he chuckled. But another part reminded him that despite the ridiculousness, it was best for him to keep an eye out for this clown from now. Even though this person may be off-putting to the point of comedy, there was something strange about him.

Yuki thought it, but he didn't want to say it yet.

[evilminji]

You know what I would kill to see?

Nedzu, in the Zone.

He IS a registered Hero, after all. He probably gets calls for missions. Failing that, he's still legal allowed to intervene. Like, say, if some poor four year old were losing their shit? Got separated from their mommy, their headache, which has been getting Ochier ALL DAY has finally gotten Really REALLY bad... and they... they just CAN'T! So they melt down.

Whoops. Four year old with portals.

In a crowd.

Luckily he, Mr. Principle, is a "cute" looking sort of Hero. And as an educator, well trained in de-escala-*CRASH!* Some jackass glory chasing young thing, with no care for innocent lives around them, smashes onto the scene. Terrifying the poor child. Which obviously makes their non-existent control WORSE.

Starts throwing the word "villian" around.

Nedzu is going to EAT his license in front of him.

The poor thing is hyperventilating, crying, clinging desperately to Nedzus suit. Things are being flung from portals. Sucked into portals. He's seen no less then 53 SEPERATE dimensions on the other side of those rifts. At least two were to the open void of space.

He narrowly dodges a portal straight into the heart of a volcano. Can feel the blistering heat singe his fur. Alumni from HIS school, at least, have arrived to actually SAVE people. Get the crowd away from the danger zone.

And to think, all he wanted was some tea.

How this MORON doesn't recognize him, he has no idea. His graduates are actively SHOUTING his identity, for heavens sake. Yet the glory hound continues to chase his so called "villians" at the expense of everyone around him.

He's about to throw the boy to a near by police officer, to get to safety, when the worst occurs. The tract of land he was about to push off of disappears beneath them. The boy's mother screams. He activates High Specs, world slowing as his mind rushs. Twisting, he throws the boy high.

The portal closes before he can see if it is Eraserhead or Cementoss who will be the one to catch him. The odds were 68.3% in Eraserhead's favor. He hopes... Aizawa, does so take these things quite hard, he hope he will not blame himself.

There was no way to catch him in time.

He was already gone.

Gravity arrests, slowing to a drifting meander. The air thick with something the burns his sensitive nose. Green. Everything is a very peculiar green. This is not a planets or if it is, it is countless times larger then Earth. A gas giant of some sort? There does not appear to be a horizon.

In the distance, an almost stereotypical spaceship changes destinations. Now aiming right for him. It seems aid might be on the way. With nothing better to do, he waits. They slow to a stop, a hatch opens, and... oh? A young Hero student! Hello there young man! I am Mr. Principle of the illustrious UA!

And just? Danny? Trying to return this small furry alien guy back to his alien hero school? Getting the run around and "hmmmm, let me look that uuuup *takes forever* yeeeeah, soooorry. You're in the wrong department. You'll have to fly like three days to this OTHER department, fill out 260 forms, and dance for our amusement. Byeeeee~"

Like? He just wants to get this guy HOME! Why are you all LIKE THIS!?

All while Nedzu is " :) My, this is FASCINATING. I am learning new things, battling wits, learning new languages, AND guiding a promising young mind towards a future of Better Heroics? Delightful! This is practically a vacation!"

He even stops by the Fentons for dinner. Some fudge. A little light destruction of Goverment branches on the side. Just? A Grand ol adventure of Nedzu.

Danny suffers through bureaucratic hell. But Nedzu? The most mentally stimulated he's been in years. His crops are watered and his fur is groomed. Thriving! New toys!

Then?? He just... shows back up to work.

How did he return? Where has he been?? Who is this glowing green Hero Child groaning face down on his very expensive carpet? *sips tea* wouldn't YOU like to know, weather boy! *maniacal Nedzu laughter*

@hdgnj @babbling-babull @lolottes @nerdpoe @the-witchhunter @hypewinter @spidori

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

The Pathology Murders

Summary: When the reader and the boys stumble across a gruesome scene, they get the feeling that the monster they're hunting is of the human variety...

Pairing: Dean x reader

Word Count: 5,800ish

Warnings: language, angst, lots of mentions of gore/death, trauma, accident, fluff

A/N: This fic was inspired by this imagine (which makes an appearance in this one shot) and also by the horror movie Pathology!

________

“What the hell…” Dean and Sam looked around the abandoned house, pausing like you had when they got to the kitchen. Your boys weren’t wimps by any means. They’d seen some serious crap. Done some serious crap. But that kitchen? 

It took Sam all of three seconds to step out of the room and upheave his greek salad from lunch.

Meanwhile Dean took it all in before his eyes landed on where you were trying to work the scene, fighting back another dry heave. 

“You alright?” he asked. You knew he was concerned. You weren’t one to puke up your guts either. But the poor soul on the kitchen table, or rather what was left of him…twisted wasn’t even the right word for it.

“Not particularly,” you said, pointing at a glass jar that housed a pair of kidneys on the stove. “Not all the organs made it into jars. Pretty sure the liver is in the sink.”

Dean cautiously took a step inside, swallowing thickly. Unlike you or Sam, who had your own experiences with hell, Dean’s had been far more…interactive. Sam’s soul was battered around by Lucifer but it’d been more psychological than physical. You’d spent an unpleasant night with a hellhound in the same cage and while it hadn’t been fun, you’d been able to stay in a corner and out of harms way. Dean though…Dean had been sliced and diced and hacked and every other possible horror, imaginable or not. And then he’d performed the acts himself. You never blamed him for giving in, for breaking. You’d told him time and time again he was, and always would be, a good man.

Some days, more often lately it seemed the older he got, he seemed to believe you.

“Whoever did this performed an autopsy on this guy. While he was alive,” said Dean, leaning over the body to get a closer look. “Huh. Anybody see a heart around here?”

You surveyed the bloody room, finding more than a few peculiar shaped body parts but nothing resembling a heart. Sam finally made his way in, taking a deep inhale as he got used to the gore before him. “I got nothing over here.”

“Could be a werewolf,” said Dean, cocking his head as he straightened, brow furrowing. “Or a witch.”

You knew he wasn’t buying that though, neither of you were. You tore your eyes away from the search to watch Sam’s expression flare up with a strange look of familiarity. “Sammy?”

“I think a person did this,” he said. Dean rolled his eyes.

“No shit Sherlock. Someone used a knife or-”

“No, jackass,” said Sam, shooting Dean a harsh look for a brief second. “I mean I think this was a human, like an actual human. They were just talking about a cold case like this on a podcast I listened to during my run last week.”

“You and your fucking serial killer obsession,” muttered Dean. Sam’s eye twitched, the tension rising in the room. “It’s fucking weird, Sammy.”

“We hunt monsters, dumbass. How is that any different?”

“That’s our job. You don’t see me watching murder documentaries like a certain someone in my free time.” Sam got closer to Dean, Dean taking one to match, both boy’s jaws clenching. 

“Hey,” you said with a snap of your fingers, the pair reluctantly turning towards you. “Dean, plenty of people are interested in cold cases and as long as Sam isn’t a serial killer himself, his hobby is fine. Sam, Dean just gets concerned that you don’t take enough of a break from hunting but he can’t come out and say that. So hug and make up. You’re on the same side.”

They both grumbled and gave each other a half-assed embraced but it made you smile regardless. 

“So what’d your murder podcast say?” asked Dean, walking around to the other side of the cut open body. Sam’s face soured. “That good, huh?”

“They called them the Pathology Murders. A string of five victims about ten years ago that went unsolved. The killer performed live autopsies like you said about this guy earlier. The only lead they ever had was that the killer must have medical training, like a doctor, based on what they did to the victims. Oh, and all the murders took place in the Seattle area.”

“Which downtown is only twenty minutes from here,” you said, crossing your arms. “Was the heart missing at the other scenes?”

“I’m not sure. They could have skimmed over that,” said Sam. Your gaze followed Dean’s, his green eyes laced with uncertainty. “I can do some research back at the motel. You guys could check in with Seattle PD, see if the case files have anything useful.”

“We should double check that it’s not our kind of monster and if it really is a person-”

“We’re not working this case,” said Dean. Your eyebrows shot up, Sam’s face already frowning. “We do not investigate serial killers. Save it for the police.”

“Uh, what the hell is going on? You would never let a killer, monster or human, stay on the loose,” said Sam.

Dean’s gaze shot to you and quickly away, his eyes turning sharp as they zeroed in on Sam. You scoffed, Sam cocking his head in question.

“It’s because my mom was murdered. By a serial killer. Isn’t it, Dean?” Dean’s lips pressed into a thin hard line and you shook your head. “They caught her killer which you know. What does that have anything to do with-”

“You caught the killer, you did that,” said Dean, Sam completely lost. He knew your mom had been killed but not the gory details like Dean.

“Wouldn’t that be a good thing then?” he asked. “Y/N has experience with this sort of thing then.”

“Why don’t you explain to Sammy just exactly what you did to ‘catch’ her killer then, sweetheart. Go on. I’m sure he’d love to hear it.” You glared at Dean, feeling an unpleasant prickling in your eyes. Dean didn’t back down as you teared up though, instead focusing on Sam. “She let herself be bait. She let herself get caught by the son of a bitch. She almost died because she doesn’t see when she’s going too far with serial killers. The same thing happened on that Tulsa case five years ago.”

You could sense Sam had shifted very quickly to being on Dean’s side of this argument. You’d been young and reckless with your mom’s killer, barely a day over eighteen. That was years and years ago. You’d learned since then to use more sense. Tulsa…well your plan as being bait would have worked if your former hunting partner hadn’t been more focused on getting some ass that night than watching your back.

“Yeah, that’s how we met, Sam. Not working a case. No, Y/N was fucked and if I hadn’t been driving back from Jody’s that night and saw the fucking asshole grab her, she’d be dead. Wouldn’t you?” Dean snarled. You narrowed your misty eyes at him, Dean lifting his chin. “We will make sure this isn’t our kind of deal and if it is in fact a run of the mill serial killer, we are getting the fuck out of here, understand me?”

“I fucked up once. Once,” you breathed out. You swallowed thickly, wiping off your face with your jacket sleeve. “Just how many times have you been kidnapped Dean in the five years that I’ve known you? I’ve been taken once. You? How many times have I cut you loose? Taken out the monster with a knife to your throat? A gun to your head? How many times have you gotten lost in a case? Gone on a rampage? I never realized we were keeping score.”

Dean’s gaze fell to the floor, his hand running over his jaw, searching for the right words.

“Sam, go back to the motel and research. Dean and I’ll do the fed schitk and get the files we can. Whoever’s behind this, I’m going after them. You two can do whatever the hell you want,” you said, storming out of the room and out of the house.

“You look pretty,” said Dean softly a few hours later as you exited the motel bathroom in your fed suit, a light blue button down blouse with your charcoal gray suit jacket and pants. You ignored him as you dug through your duffel for your pointed black booties. Professional but also you knew for a fact you could run and fight in them. You growled in frustration when you couldn’t find them though, hearing Dean clear his throat behind your back. You glanced over your shoulder, following Dean’s gaze to where he’d set them down by the end of the bed.

“Thanks,” you grumbled, slipping them on and pulling up the side zipper. Dean was sporting his navy suit today, the one he looked extra hot in. You ignored that fact as you tucked your gun into the back of your pants, fixing your suit jacket over it.

“Y/N.” You sighed, giving him a look that you really didn’t want to do this right now. He took a long breath, sitting down on the edge of the bed. Sam quietly slinked out of the room into his adjoining one. Most of the time the three of you shared but when you could swing it, Sam got his own next door to give you and Dean some privacy.

Privacy you didn’t necessarily want at this moment.

“You do good cop, I’ll be the hardass if it comes to it,” you said, shoving your phone in your pocket. You tried to walk past him for the door but he caught your hand, stopping you after a few feet. “Dean.”

“I do not, and have never, thought you were weak. But serial killers are a blindspot for you. Sam and I both have them. This is yours.” He lowered his head, like he was fighting the words that were coming out. 

To your surprise, he dropped your hand and stood. 

“Be careful on this one, sweetheart.” He walked past you to the motel door, cracking it open and pausing. “We should get going.”

“You sure I’m not going to lose it? Get too carried away and get myself captured?” you said, unable to stop from poking back after his earlier insinuations. Dean’s shoulders rose and fell, one hand going to the doorframe to grip it as you watched the back of his head lower.

“Y/N, don’t you know by now I’m an idiot that’d rather lose you because I’m a dick than find you in the hands of some monster like whoever did that to that poor guy? Don’t you know I know you’re stronger than me? Don’t you think I realize how hard it is to be with someone like me?”

“You don’t stop Sam from doing dangerous things,” you said. “You don’t bring up the past to him.”

“Yes I have,” he said quietly. “And convincing Sam to stay in a motel room where it’s safe to research has never been hard thankfully.”

“You don’t treat me with the same respect though,” you said softly. “It hurts to know you never will think of me as being as capable as he is all because I’m your girlfriend.”

Dean shook his head, straightening his back. “You are more than capable, sweetheart. But sometimes…I just want to be a man that protects his girl. I don’t want to be scared of failing you for once…because if that monster got anywhere near you…”

You took quiet steps over to him, staring at his broad shoulders as they sagged.

“Eventually everyone I love dies or has something awful happen to them. Maybe I don’t say it the right way but fucking hell, all I want is for those things to not happen to you.” He spun around, green eyes full of worry. You nodded, taking his hand and lacing your fingers together. He squeezed them gently, the warmth of it pleasant.

“Our job is dangerous, Dean. We hunt the monsters, supernatural or not. I love you but you don’t get to keep me locked away.” You ran your thumb over his scuffed up skin, still healing form last week’s hunt. “That said…I promise not to get so angry if you promise to just say you’re scared for me. We’ll figure it out, okay?”

“Okay,” he said, a flicker of a smile on his face. “I just have a bad feeling about this one.”

“Then we’ll be smart, okay?” You leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “And don’t call yourself an idiot. I don’t like it.”

“Okay, sweetheart,” he said. “Let’s go figure out what the hell is going on.”

Two Hours Later

“This guy’s a fucking psycho,” you said into your phone while Dean came outside with a bag of burgers and fries. “Apparently he sends the hearts to the victims families in a little box with a bow.”

“Sounds about right for a guy who cuts people open for fun,” said Sam on the other end. “I’m gonna pour through the records you just sent over.”

“Alright. Dean and I should be back in fifteen-”

“Why don’t you guys have a date night? I got this for a few hours.” You bit your bottom lip, Sam’s silence going on. “Come on, Y/N. You guys should talk about Dean’s protectiveness and your stubbornness.”

You wanted to argue that fact but sighed, closing your eyes.

“Any suggestions on how we find that line when our job is to hunt killers?” you asked.

“Maybe remember that he’s your boyfriend first, hunting partner second. Most boyfriends wouldn’t want their girlfriend near a serial killer either, no matter what their job.”

“Don’t have good points, Samuel,” you said as Dean took a seat next to you on Baby’s hood. “We’ll be back in two hours.”

You hung up and dove your hand into the bag of fries, smirking when Dean presented you with a chocolate milkshake. He grinned as you dipped the fry in it and tossed it back, giving him a big thumbs up.

“I love you,” you said, Dean smiling as he dug out his burger. “I always love you, even when we fight.”

He glanced at you, landing a gentle kiss on your lips in the next moment. He barely moved his lips, letting them linger instead. He moved back only an inch and nodded. “I was a dickhead earlier. All because I’m afraid of finding you with a serial killer standing over you with a giant ass knife again. I don’t know why I can’t just come out and say that shit in the moment.”

“Because you’re human,” you said, wrapping an arm around his waist. “And you’re so much better at talking to me than five years ago. The old you wouldn’t have even been able to say that to me.”

“I try,” he said, letting you kiss him, your own a tad more forceful than his had been.

“That’s all I ask for,” you said, Dean’s phone going off at that exact moment. He sighed as he took it out, Sam’s name appearing. He tapped it onto speaker and took a bite of his burger. “What’s up Sammy?”

“Guys, I think I figured something out. All the victims were patients at Mercy West hospital back in the day and this latest guy? He was a patient there last week.” You and Dean shared a frown. “Yeah, I know. The cops investigated all of the hospital staff there back then but they never came up with anything. They thought maybe a doctor was behind it but he died in a car accident between the second and third vics.”

“It could have been him and he had a partner. Definitely is someone with access to records so they have to work there,” said Dean as you held up a finger. “What?”

“I could have sworn I’ve heard about this hospital in the news before. Something to do with a boat accident?” you asked. You heard Sam typing loudly before he hummed.

“Yup. They made national news about six months ago when seven of their medical students died in a boating accident. Explosion apparently when they got boozed up and had a bonfire on the boat. The bodies were so bad they couldn’t identify the remains,” said Sam. Dean took another bite of his burger and swallowed. “Already checking through the police files. Shit.”

“Shit what, Sam?” you asked, dunking a fry in your milkshake.

“Shit as in the boat accident wasn’t an accident at all. There was definitely an explosion but they found damage on the bodies indicating some injuries occurred before death. Like being carved up alive. They don’t want the public knowing the killer is still active in the area.”

“It’s gotta be someone linked to that hospital. Only question is why can’t the police figure out who?” asked Dean.

“Good question,” said Sam. “I’m going to keep digging, see if there’s a connection between the two we missed.”

“Thanks Sammy. We’ll be back in twenty to help,” said Dean, hanging up. He glanced at you, biting the inside of his cheek.

“This isn’t a monster,” you said quietly. “At least, it’s a human one.”

Dean polished off the rest of his meal quietly, the air still for a few beats. 

“When you get too worried about me on hunts, you put yourself in danger,” you said, slowly sipping from the shake. His heated gaze was on you as you handed him the drink. “You have to trust that I’m strong enough to do this. Careful and capable. We both need to work on that.”

“Alright. But do me a favor? Stick close to me or Sammy on this one. You’re just…” You waited, let him find his words. He took the drink and finished it off, shoving the trash in the bag. “You just got over that shoulder injury. Your punches don’t hit as hard as normal right now. I don’t mean that in a bad way, just-”

“Okay,” you said, finding his hand, slipping yours inside. “Now let’s figure out who this bastard is.”

He hummed, letting go of you for a brief moment so he could toss the garbage away. You slid inside the passenger seat, Dean back and behind the wheel after the blink of an eye. Approximately ten seconds later you were pulling out of the parking lot and on the road, headed down main street and for the motel.

“So I was thinking this guy does autopsies on victims right?” said Dean, turning the radio down low on a soft rock station. You glanced out the window on the dark night, a rumble of thunder overhead. “But the cops can’t find him. Well, isn’t there someone that sometimes works at hospitals and for the police that would be able to fuck with a body after the fact and hide traces of their involvement?”

“A pathologist. I was thinking that too but wouldn’t that have been their first look? I mean they literally call them the Pathology Murders,” you said, waiting for the the light to turn green. “It could be someone that knows someone at the department covering for them. Stranger things have happened.”

“Maybe. I get the gist this guy works alone though. I only clocked one set of boots at the scene this morning,” he said, the bright green light illuminating the dark interior.

“Same. It’s absolutely someone associated with that damn hospital-” you said, Dean’s arm shooting in front of you in your peripheral. A millisecond later, something slammed into the right side of Baby, your side. Your lap belt tugged on you hard as your body lolled to the side, weightless for a moment before gravity reared it’s ugly head and slammed you down. Your head smacked something hard and it all went dark.

You could hear Dean asking a paramedic a million questions, not a single one concerned about himself. You opened your eyes to find yourself in the back of an ambulance, Dean lying on a stretcher beside you. He could tell you were awake and struggled to reach over to you but couldn’t. Instead he thrashed his head back against his pillow in defeat, straining against the straps that held him down.

“Sir, I need you to calm down,” said the paramedic as you blinked slowly at Dean. You knew something was wrong with you, with both of you, but you weren’t quite sure what that was yet. You struggled when you saw Dean upset. You wanted him to feel better. “You need to relax, she’s seeing you panic and that’s making her do the same.”

Dean stopped as he took in how your heart rate had skyrocketed, how scared you looked. He sighed and forced himself to stay calm. You saw him relax and heard him say it was okay. Neither of you enjoyed the feeling of being tied down, especially when the both of you were in plain view of one another and couldn’t reach each other. You tried to speak but couldn’t as you felt how raw your throat was. 

“We’ll be at Mercy West in just a few minutes,” said the paramedic to Dean as you half-listened. 

“No, take us somewhere else!” yelled Dean suddenly, fighting again. The paramedic sighed as you both started struggling once more. You didn’t have much of an idea of what was going on but if Dean didn’t want to go there, it wasn’t safe. 

“I’m going to give each of you a sedative and by the time you wake up, you’ll be in your hospital beds feeling a lot better,” he said gently. 

“No, don’t you touch her,” said Dean as you started to get very sleepy. The last thing you saw was Dean shutting his eyes as you finally remembered what had happened.

If Sam didn’t get to you soon, you were screwed.

Your eyes wearily opened under bright lights that made your head hurt. You winced and turned away from it, limbs heavy and still. Dean’s voice echoed somewhere, to your left maybe? You forced your eyes open again, Dean strapped down to a metal table with metal drawers behind him, the look on his face like he was screaming at you. You blinked, the ringing in your eyes loud and obnoxious, droning him out.

“Get up, fucking get up!” Dean shouted so loud you shook your head, a splitting headache cracking over you. “Y/N get out of here!” 

It took only a moment to discover that unlike Dean, you weren’t restrained in what was most likely the hospital morgue. Something was wrong though. A sedative? No. You were becoming more alert if anything but your arms were growing more tired, head becoming too heavy to lift.

“Something’s off,” you tried to say, the words caught in your throat, unable to be voiced. Your eyes flared wide, Dean’s drifting past you.

“Someone took a long time to wake up,” said a voice to your right. Suddenly a hand was under your head.

“Don’t you fucking touch her!” Dean snarled, your head set on a…stand? Something to keep it elevated and from rolling to the side. You tried to move but the message wasn’t getting to your body, your eyes glued on the handsome face with a just slightly off smile leaning over you.

“You were in a nasty accident, Agent Carlson. Unfortunately for you, your head trauma was too severe and you coded in the ER. Meanwhile Agent Manns in his grief unfortunately succumbed to his injuries. At least that’s what the autopsy report will say,” he said, inspecting what felt like a cut on your temple. “Such a shame. It won’t be my best work but you’re not the first law enforcement to cross me. Sadly no one will be able to discover your remains once you’re accidentally incinerated as John and Jane Doe but it’s good practice.”

“Let her go you fucking psycho,” growled Dean when the doctor moved out of view and returned with a pair of shears. 

“Psycho? I’m Dr. Thomas, ER Trauma physician and part-time pathologist. I’ve saved far more lives than I’ve taken, Agent Manns,” he said, snipping through your blouse. 

“What the fuck did you do to her?” Dr. Thomas bagged your shirt in a plastic bag nearby, doing the same with your pants and boots once they’d been removed.

“Paralyzing agent. Hard to come by but it has it’s advantages. No messy straps or ropes in the way,” he said, lifting your arm as you watched helplessly, cold metal against your skin as he cut through your bra straps.

“I swear to god I’m going to rip your spine out of your fucking face. If you touch her-”

“Not my style,” said Dr. Thomas, pulling away the fabric, sending a chill down your back. He gave you his focus again, a smirk on his face as he put two fingers to your neck. “Your heart is hammering away, isn’t it? Biology is fascinating that way. It’s so strange how an emotion such as fear can cause physical reactions in our bodies.”

“Get the fuck away from her!” shouted Dean. Dr. Thomas’ smile towards you dropped when he looked at Dean. He sighed and set the shears down, walking out of view.

“You’re really starting to irritate me,” he said, the distinct sound of tape being ripped from a roll filling the room and then Dean’s cries became muffled, only quiet thumping as he struggled coming from him now. Dr. Thomas appeared again wearing another smile. “Sorry about that. It’s always the men that get all squirmy. The women always live longer. Now, one could argue that’s because women have on average more blood in their bodies than men but I’ve gotten a fairly large sample size over the past decade to believe they’re psychologically stronger and therefore last longer.”

You tried hard to move your hand when he held up a scalpel near your face but nothing worked. 

Fuck if you could move anything you’d be shaking harder than a tree in a damn hurricane. Dean struggling right beside you with a front row seat was not helping.

“Now I like to explain all of my procedures to my patients beforehand. While you are paralyzed to a degree, you will still feel things. That’s perfectly normal.” You were wide eyed, Dr. Thomas chuckling. “The procedure typically takes me around thirty minutes. However, you’ll die from the blood loss or shock after roughly seven so don’t worry about that aspect. Considering you were in an accident less than an hour ago, I suspect it’s more like four or five for you which is unfortunate for me but it is what it is. Perhaps Agent Manns will give me more time.”

He lowered the scalpel to your shoulder and dug in hard to the skin, dragging it inward towards your chest. Your scream was caught in your throat as he did it on the other side to match.

Dean was shouting and thrashing on the table beside you but you couldn’t even turn your head to look. Dr. Thomas started talking about incisions and procedures and then you felt something completely unnatural against your arm, another shout trapped in your lungs. Forget the brave face. You would have been full on wailing if you were capable of it.

Crack. Snap. Shudder. Rip. It was around the time that Dr. Thomas held up something dark red and sticky looking that your body decided passing out was the best course of action. Unfortunately, it wasn’t doing that for some reason and you were stuck on the edge of consciousness, terrified and wishing something would come along and smash your head in to end this.

A loud bang shot out and something heavy smacked your leg, something else skirting against your side. 

“Dear god,” whispered Sam. Your eyes were locked open as you heard Sam rush over, staring down at you for only a split second before he moved to Dean. 

That was not good. You were far more injured that Dean, somewhere on the verge of death if you figured. Sam would have stopped to help you first.

Unless you were beyond saving.

“Sweetheart,” said Dean, grabbing one of your blood covered hands in both of his. Fuck he was crying. Fuck, fuck, fuck. You were so totally fucked. He looked over to Sam, Sam staring back with an open mouth. They couldn’t fix this. Shit, shit. You were going to die cut open like a Thanksgiving turkey. “W-What about Cas?”

“Dean,” said Sam, an air of resignation in his voice. “He’s in Kansas.”

“Jack then.”

“He’s with Cas. He doesn’t know how to-”

“A spell, a cure, something! Take her upstairs to a fucking doctor!” shouted Dean. 

“De. Half of her organs are…” said Sam as you got light headed, Dean’s hand running over your head. Dean found your face, his chin wobbling. “I-I don’t know what to do.”

“Then we sit with our girl,” said Dean softly, tucking a hair behind your ear. “And you fall asleep, sweetheart and when you wake up again, you’ll feel all better. I’ll come find you someday. Okay? Just close your eyes and try to sleep for me.”

Dean lowered his head, kissing your forehead as he fought back the tears that wanted to spill over. Sam took your other hand, squeezing it gently as you tried to do what he asked.

“Bloody hell, of course a Winchester took out a nutter like that. I’d have thunk he deserved more than a bullet,” said a familiar voice. 

“Rowena?” both boys echoed. She didn’t respond though, Sam’s hand dropping yours as a flash of red hair moved in front of you. You stared up at her, her hands cradling your cheeks.

“Dean, let go.” He did and about two seconds later you were shot straight upright, body in one piece, full of feeling and horror as you wrapped your arms over your chest, looking all around. 

“What the hell was that?” asked Sam while Dean shrugged out of his fed jacket and wrapped it around your shoulders, buttoning you up before he picked you up and was cradling you in his arms.

Rowena faced him with a hand on her hip, your own gaze falling down to where a dead Dr. Thomas lay on the floor, blood oozing from the back of his open head.

“Do you boys still not see me as a friend?” she asked, an undercurrent of hurt in her voice. You were shaking in Dean’s arms, clutching to his shirt with your too long sleeves. 

“You’re the queen of hell. Why would you stop a death?” asked Sam. She rolled her eyes and approached you, resting a hand on your arm.

“Because I’m the queen of hell and I do as I please, Samuel.” You wanted to say thank you but all you could manage was a few jumbled words as you buried yourself in Dean’s neck. “She’s in shock, quite bad. Best to take her home and let her rest.”

“Thank you Rowena,” said Dean, walking past her, stopping near the entrance to the room. “Next time you need something, just let us know and we’ll help.”

“Of course. I’ll take care of this mess. Oh and Y/N, dear?” You managed to lift your head, grateful to find Sam was right on Dean’s heels. “This lad is going to be spending a lot of time on the receiving end of what he gave out up here down in hell. I promise you that.”

You nodded, giving her a thumbs up. Dean kissed the top of your head, his hold on you tight.

“You’re going to be alright, sweetheart. Just give it some time.”

“How’s that feel?” asked Dean for what felt like the twentieth time back at the motel. You’d showered, took another another shower, took a bath, took another shower and currently were wrapped up in a mess of Dean’s pajamas on the bed with a big towel in your hair. 

“Better,” you said, your voice back with you once you’d gotten out of the hospital morgue. Sam was off relaying what he’d found to the local police. Apparently Dr. Thomas had worked on a few cases for the county but his sister it turned out was a hot shot detective who’d been covering for him for years. It was how he’d found out about you and Dean investigating.

Honestly that woman would be better off going out like her brother. She’d covered up a lot of murders for her brother. It’d be a miracle if someone didn’t take her out before then. Not that you particularly would mind that. 

You patted the bed beside you, Dean taking a seat and pulling you into his lap. He removed the damp towel and nuzzled the top of your head with his cheek, strong arms wrapped all around your body.

“So we really nailed that whole careful thing, huh?” you said. Dean chuckled deeply, inhaling the scent of your damp hair, a pretty lilac and vanilla blend you knew he liked. 

“How do you do that? Make me laugh when I don’t feel like ever laughing again,” he said, tightening his hold.

“Because I’m hilarious,” you said, closing your eyes, wrapping your hands around his forearms. “You might not understand this but what you said when I thought…you made me feel safe even when I was scared that was it. You were a guy protecting his girl tonight, even if it’s not the way you meant it.”

“Meant every word,” he whispered, breathing slowly. 

“Don’t you dare fucking apologize for not stopping it. There’s no way we saw that coming.”

“Okay,” he said, draping his legs over yours, leaning back against the headboard with you. “How’s that feel? Comfy?”

You smiled as you rolled your eyes at him, tucking in closer. “I got you, Winchester. I’ll be alright. A chocolate milkshake and order of fries wouldn’t hurt though.”

“You’re hungry? After all that?” he chuckled. 

“Yup. Ask Sam to pick some up on his way back,” you said, tilting your head back, kissing under his jaw. “Our date got cut short after all.”

“Are you sure you’re okay? You couldn’t talk earlier,” he said, taking your hand, lacing your fingers together.

“I’ll have nightmares, I’m sure, and all the other crap we get. But right now in this moment, with you, I’m okay.” He smiled, holding your body against his.

“I love you so much. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. Even if you do get kidnapped by serial killers.” You whacked his leg, Dean’s laugh rumbling against your back.

“Love you too, ya dork.”

_________