#jana talks

[janaispunk]

this is wild btw, i love y’all so so much <3

[sanjarka]

the mere fact that katniss and peeta's children are described as a dancing girl and a toddler with chubby legs is enough to disapprove any notion that these kids are not equally wanted by both of their parents. the girl is happy and the boy is fed.

if someone is personally uncomfortable with that ending, or the wording of it (but peeta wanted them so bad), i understand that probably nothing i'll say will remove the doubt from said person. and a part of that doubt comes from a good place - stories in which women don't eventually become mothers are rare. but considering katniss and peeta's characters and the hopeful tone of the epilogue, katniss being genuinely forced into motherhood is not something that makes sense to me.

katniss didn't have kids for peeta but because of him (but peeta says it will be okay. we have each other) and she needed him to make that a safe option for her. the fact that peeta is the one who starts the conversation is incredible for his character arc. his abusive relationship with his mom and his hijacking (!!!) are not going to make parenthood something he just gets to choose on a whim.

we don't know when exactly those 15 years start. i don't get the picture that he just begs her every day untill she gives in. i have a hard time believing that both of them didn't take this decision seriously and with great care. that peeta would ever be fine with having kids with someone who will resent them, especially after going through a similar experience himself. that katniss wouldn't just have one, but two children if they weren't a sentient choice.

if you understand what it takes to be a parent, and what it means to have children it will never not be a scary future. doesn't mean that future isn't the right one. how can anything, other than fearful joy exist for both katniss and peeta when this is the song with which their story ends.

--------------------------------------------------------------

deep in the meadow, under willow

a bed of grass, a soft green pillow

lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes

and when again they open, the sun will rise.

here it's safe, here it's warm

here the daises guard you from every harm

here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true

here is a place where i love you.

--------------------------------------------------------------

i'll tell them that on bad mornings, it feels impossible to take pleasure in anything because I'm afraid it could be taken away.

how is this not katniss loving her children and peeta. how does anything else fits.

[rewritetheday]

I just handed in my Phd thesis...

This is the strangest feeling in the world

[pinkyqil]

It giving group vibes and am here for it !

[winterdusktales]

ngl the night before surgery when haein told hyunwoo to tell her things he’d like her to know since she’ll forget all about it anyway, i thought they’d start talking about their unborn baby. not to mention haein gestured to retrieve something from the drawer, so i thought she’d get her phone and tell him her passcode cause she’ll forget about it too so how’d she open it sksksk (she isn’t aware that hyunwoo knows) so i really thought it’d finally be brought up when she says 1031

[partywithponies]

I can't rewatch Wolfblood as often as I'd like because something happens to me whenever I do, I get possessed by the spirit of the cringe 12 year old wolfgirl the show was made for or something, and I get the urge to howl along. Literally me, a grown adult, sat alone in my room fighting the urge to awoo at my laptop screen.

[just-a-speck]

microdosing on social interactions by rbing and liking posts on tumblr dot com the website and app

[luccettis]

mark mckenna as simon kelleher - s1 x e6

[cutejk123]

Speaking Out and Sharing my experiences with Robo/Morgyn/Sage in full (TW)

Hello everyone, this is a serious post so please take it very seriously!

Here, this will be the first time that I will publicly speak out fully of the truth about one of the most horrible people that I have met, Robo/Morgyn/Sage. I used to be friends with them, but they hurt me and many others, so I don't want to associate with the gang anymore. This is also the first time I have ever call out someone or expose them publicly and he and the gang are still out there somewhere, but most of us are DONE with them and we don't trust them anymore.

Since the post is a little long, I would recommend reading the important sections (Incidents, 26th May 2022, Aftermath, Finding Out the Truth and My Advice), but if you want to read the whole thing, you can.

If anything happens to anyone, I will take full responsibility since call outs are a big deal and I care about other people's safety and wellbeing and I'm putting my career and myself in danger for the truth to be officially out and hopefully, we can fully move on and forget and Robo/Morgyn/Sage and his gang will be hold accountable of what they have done to most of us, including myself.

[janaispunk]

one of my favorite presents this year haha 🥹

i’m probably gonna do a celebration after the holidays are over, but for now i just want to say, i love and appreciate each and everyone of you so much. it’s still wild to me that anybody wants to read my silly little stories and likes them enough to follow me, so thank you 🫶🏻

hugs + smooches!!

[sanjarka]

What do you think about Hijacked Peeta storyline in Mockingjay?

Is it narrative-ly satisfied for Peeta's arc?

Thank you,

@curiouspeetamellark

i already written about this in a previous post of mine, but it's pretty long so I'm just gonna copy the parts about peeta's hijacking here:

/@curiouspeetamellark i tried my best to only keep the most important parts. i just have a lot of feelings and don't know what do with them/

the tragedy of peeta's hijacking and how he was unconsciously preparing himself for it.

i am not implying that it was his fault or responsibility, and i don't believe it was necessary, nothing was. however, there is a reason why certain narratives include certain people.

and when we look back at the story, we can see how it was almost predictable. that it was foreshadowed, not only by the conversation on the roof in the first book, where he tells us that he wants to prove that the capitol doesn't own him, but also by who he is as a person. then we can see how his hijacked and true selves are entangled with one other.

although he appears to be more emotionally mature than katniss he is still just a child. he still traumatized, insecure, stubborn, lonely, prideful and scared. he is also trying to survive. it just looks different. his emotional maturity wasn't created from a good and safe place. he grew up with an abusive mother, a father who repeatedly betrayed him by failing to protect him, distant brothers, and as a result of that he feels insignificant and unneeded.

much as katniss survived by numbing herself out, in the years after her father's death, by letting her feelings happen outside of her, i feel as though peeta did the exact opposite. that he grew fixated on attempting to comprehend everything and everyone. that he became obsessed with overthinking and overanalyzing his thoughts rather than feeling them. his drawings and paintings are an escape form and that's his ways of surviving.

it feels like there is this sense of loneliness that follows him, is stuck to him, and that affects the type of relationships he builds with other people - distant ones.

while katniss's walls are so obvious, peeta's are unexpected and hidden. peeta goes through life hiding from others whilst katniss hides from herself.

it takes actual hard effort for him to let people and in many ways i think that katniss is the first one with that privilege. that she is his exception. and that it wasn't instant. that it did happen slowly.

so when i think of him, i don't picture a guy who wears his heart on his sleeve and is naturally open. we can see how good of an actor and liar he is. him being open is him making conscious decision to do so and not something he can't control.

other people see his love for katniss, not because he doesn't know how to hide it, but because he wants them to see it - it's the only time honesty was beneficial for him.

/we rarely see him being comforted by katniss and being the "weak" one. and it has nothing to do with her. he's the one who isn't prepared for it. he is apprehensive about being looked after. katniss may be challenging in this area too, although not as much as peeta. because her home was once a happy and safe place and being with peeta reminds her of those times while peeta is experiencing feeling safe for the first time. that's terrifying. he must be strong and and he must be capable, must be perfect, before he can even consider himself worthy of love. so it will take a long time for peeta to break that, to allow himself to show sides of him that are fragile,messy and ugly/

the loudest flaw of his is exactly this tendency to hide from others which results in bottling things up and letting them fester inside of him, particularly anger. we almost never see peeta lose control of his emotions and considering the situation that he is in, i don't think it's a positive trait really.

he never learned how to express anger in a healthy manner because, after all, it's supposed to be terrible, right? however, anger should not be associated with hurting or lashing out at people. the way to deal with anger is to let yourself feel it. not to repress it. but how can i expect peeta to be any different when the first attribute he would give to his mother would be anger? and the one thing he wants to prove to himself is that he isn't like her.

his hijacking is a tragedy, not only because he dreads becoming a piece in their games as a form of defiance, but also because it creates a complete lack of self control in a character who prides himself on it - the one thing he's certain is entirely his.

take an abused boy and abuse him some more, then take away his agency, rendering him powerless over emotions that aren't even his, while giving an outlet to those that are, that had been waiting for a moment like this one. take that anger, that he is so deathly afraid of, and make it his primary way of communicating. make him hurt the one person he trusted the most, felt safest with and then blame her for everything. make his hurting her fault and her responsibility.

and clearly, we know that the only real culprits of this crime are snow and the capitol and no one else but them, but hijacking works with the already existing insecurities and fears of its victim. it feeds off of its host. and considering that, it couldn't have found a better one.

-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-

the tragedy was the point. to have both katniss and peeta experience their worst case scenario (outside of loosing each other). this was just my way of explaining why i think peeta loosing self control is equivalent to katniss loosing prim. was it absolutely needed and did the story absolutely had to go this way? not really but isn't that the point too.

[kiwisbell]

hi kiwi! 1 & 21 for the fanfic asks? 🫶🏻

AHH HI JANA!! 🥹💕

1] favourite fic you wrote this year

aghh it's so hard to choose a favourite! i'm hugely fond of las mañanas for the sheer amount of love and affection people have for that fic and the way it inspires a lot of fuzzy nostalgia for me 🥹 and whiskey sour just spoke to me from the first moment i put words in the doc, and it still means the world to me now. as for one-shots, i'll give a special shout-out to red light, which began in the doc as just "landlord joel" and spiralled into total insanity!!

21] most memorable comment/review

i will be honest: i screenshot and save a lot of comments because they make me feel so fucking grateful and happy. every single comment that ella aka @maximoff-forevermore leaves on my fics make me squeal and giggle and kick my feet because they're always so so thoughtful and in-depth and make me happy!!

@cavillscurls's reblog of red light is still in my camera roll (i hope you know that mya <3)

i still think about @frannyzooey, @refined-by-fire, @sisternyx, and @mrsmando's comments about whiskey sour all the time; they left a lasting impact on me as a writer. i don't think i ever would have truly grasped the fact that people liked that series if they hadn't been so unbelievably kind and thoughtful so early on.

aka i see and appreciate every single comment under the sun 🫶

special shout-out to this one because it makes me laugh:

end-of-year fanfic asks!

[winterdusktales]

past couple of episodes felt dull and it was also the time when haein wasn’t doing much. and look what happened when she finally stepped up and took matters into her own hands like the true queen that she is… we get top 3 best ep ending, best look, best plot twist (tho it was lowkey predictable), and best epilogue. who’s doing it like her

[niallandtommo]

.

[dapg-otmebytheballs]

I had to have a v difficult conversation right before the zoom call that I'm still quite raw from so I was worried I'd be dogshit during the game/talking about the game, but everyone in the chat made it so fun and so easy to just get immersed in the game, I'm v grateful, thank you friends ❤️

[iloveyouitisruiningmylife]

i want to leave my internship