#jane suffers from the same problem jade does

[crazyexdirkfriend]

roxy always sweeps fave alpha kid polls largely because she is the most popular alpha kid among people who don't care that much about the alpha kids imo

[ardenttheories]

So am I the only one who’s even angrier at the dumb Yiffy reveal after it was further revealed that Jade is a neglectful absentee mother who, after secretly having a child because she was lonely, threw her in a boarding school Jane owned and didn’t think to withdraw her even when she engaged in open warfare against Jane, then when she was captured, Jade had exposition, ate dinner and went to bed about it? Does she even like her daughter? Does she CARE?

Considering some of the Yiffy reveal was clearly meant to make Jade seem sympathetic - because apparently fucking your best friend behind her wife’s back to have a child you could’ve had with your own partner via Ectobiology is understandable and makes complete sense in every universe, including this one - I have come to the conclusion that the writers are on crack. 

It’s the only possible explanation for how bullshit it all is. How in the everloving fuck could Jade “I grew up alone on an island and was alone on a spaceship for three years because of family deaths and it scarred me for life” Harley just... abandon her child. How could Jade Harley, who grew up alone on an island, isolated from all of her friends, who only survived because she had a purpose and who was highly implied to be suicidal if she didn’t have that crutch behind why she suffered so much, not only abandon her daughter. Not only be an absentee mother. But also just outright foister her daugher off onto someone else to look after.

Jade grew up without a guardian. She knows what that’s like. She knows how that hurts. She knows how much she tried to survive with that, to survive without a prominent adult figure in her life who loved her, who comforted her, who helped to support her. And her guardian was actually dead.

How much fucking worse must it be to know your mom just shoved you onto someone else. Made you their problem instead. That she didn’t even care about you enough - or maybe even just outright FORGOT about you - to such a degree that she left you in the hands of the enemy. 

How the hell could Jade think that any of this was okay. Knowing her own roots. Knowing her own struggles. How could she get this child, this actual living, breathing human being, and just - not fucking care at all?

I know in a way this shows that Jade is immature, and it’s a good sign that children don’t fix everything. You can’t fill up the hole in your life by having a child. A child is a responsibility, not a fix-all measure; there’s so much that goes into raising a baby into an adult, and what this has shown is that Jade didn’t take that into consideration. Jade wanted a baby because she thought it’d make her feel better, and she was wrong. 

She could’ve just gotten a fucking puppy and figured out the same thing with fewer consequences. She may have even kept it.

So tbh? Definitely not the only one angry. I genuinely don’t understand why they’d go down this route for it. Like, yes, I can see how it works, but that doesn’t mean I understand why.

Why, out of everything, they did this. Why they keep making Jade out to be a sympathetic character we should all feel sorry for when all she’s doing is causing other people more and more trauma, with no accountability for her own actions? And why they’re making her such a shit mother when Rose was also supposed to have helped raise Yiffy? As if Rose was compliant in this, too - as if Rose would have not seen the fucking implications and tried to do something about it. Why they made one of the most loving and understanding characters in Homestuck such a horrifically selfish, toxic person even towards her own family. 

And this, mind you, is the same woman who was so against John helping Tav escape from his mother that she ratted them out. Despite seeing how terrified Tav was. Despite John trying to convince her otherwise. The woman who looked at an abused child and was so against the idea of splitting up a family that she prevented his escape from abuse - and then she just abandons her own child? Like a fucking hypocrite?

My blood is still boiling over literally everything they’re doing to Jade and with every update I get this much closer to entering into a physical fist fight with the writers. 

[autumnblogs]

Day 14: The Ultimate Reward

https://homestuck.com/story/2404

Movies are one of the main vectors that culture uses to transmit itself in the modern day, and if it sounds like I’m describing this form of cultural reproduction like a virus, you’re not wrong. The concept of the viral video has been around for about 15 years, if memory serves, and Homestuck’s self-referential format closely recalls the snowclone and advice animal type memes of the late thousands. Meme itself is a word coined by Richard Dawkins to describe the basic unit of cultural reproduction and transmission. While the lines related to memes from Metal Gear Solid have become memes themselves,

John and Karkat’s lives are both shaped by memes, transmitted to them through movies. John’s ideas about romance and family are shaped by his movies, Karkat and his ideas about romance and family are shaped by his movies.

https://homestuck.com/story/2406

The narration insists that Feferi and Eridan are made for each other, but their romance almost immediately disintegrates. The narrative is training us to be skeptical of the Troll’s preoccupation with Romantic Destiny. The idea that you have one soulmate, a person you were just destined for who it’ll work out with, is bogus.

https://homestuck.com/story/2435

Something about this sequence has inspired me to talk about Society with a capital S. Both Hobbes’ Leviathan  and Ginsberg’s Howl talk about Society with a capital S - the indistinct entity, the system which arises seemingly unbidden from the gestalt of myriad human interactions, parables about social systems.

Leviathan is a founding myth for the social contract and liberalism in general. As one of the petite bourgeoisie who benefits from Liberalism, it is of course in Hobbes’ interest to defend its existence and provide justification for the material conditions he benefits from, but Howl is considerably less charitable. Referring to the same entity as Moloch, Ginsberg describes it as an incommensurable monster, consuming the lives of the men and women who make it up to further its own agenda.

Authoritarians have always used the threat of cultural extinction in order to justify unjust material conditions and social hierarchies. Fail to fall in line, and Western Civilization is doomed. Glub Glub (who I refuse to call anything else, Feferi’s Lusus, you know who I mean) is the physical manifestation of this threat, an unbearable burden foisted upon troll society by their overlord, Lord English, to force them to participate in a system that guarantees their inability to produce ethical behavior. Their choice has always been a choice between murder and extinction.

https://homestuck.com/story/2439

Eridan is fascinating to me. I don’t know if he predicted the Incel movement, or was merely an agglomeration of school shooter, neo-fascist stereotypes, but boy is he absolutely spot-on - the fascination with military history, the emotional theatrics, the possessive and entitled attitude toward the women in his life.

https://homestuck.com/story/2441

Feferi’s a sweet girl, but she’s still one of the people who benefits from Alternian Society. The problem has never been that the Condesce is a brutal evil woman, the problem is the way that Alternian Society is structured in the first place. I’ll have more to say about this whenever we get to Openbound, since Feferi’s rule is discussed more there, and I’ll definitely have more to say about it when I eventually write the companion piece that I intend to about Hierarchy, Patriarchy, and so on and so forth. That one might be a long time coming though, because a lot of Homestuck is devoted to examining it, and I think it might end up being my longest essay. It’s the theme I think is the most directly applicable to real life, hence the import.

Feferi’s caretaking attitude and controlling predilections are also juxtaposed with Jade’s in the same way that Kanaya’s maternal instinct and green thumb are juxtaposed with Jade’s. Could it be that as the Witch of Space, Jade Harley is the ultimate mom?

https://homestuck.com/story/2448

Man, as long as I’m comparing Eridan to neo-fascists and Feferi to the political establishment, this relationship between the two of them - the way that Feferi views her enabling of Eridan as actually curtailing his worst excesses -  really smacks of the kind of unity and compromise rhetoric that liberals always seem to spout in order to justify their decision to adopt moderate right-wing policy instead of actual left-wing policy.

I’m probably reaching here, but the thought popped into my head unbidden, and I’m trying to keep this liveblog as stream of consciousness as possible.

https://homestuck.com/story/2458

People think about us way less than we think about ourselves.

https://homestuck.com/story/2467

Just as I’m not here to defend Eridan (he’s a piece of shit who knows what he did), I’m not here to attack Feferi, or to excuse her. Characters in Homestuck are frequently both abusers and victims.

Feferi’s relationship with Eridan is complicated. For starters, she isn’t really curtailing the worst of his excesses, not the way that she thinks he is. Feferi has authority, one way or the other, and by being emotionally available to Eridan, she has enabled him more than she has prevented him from doing wrong. Cutting him out of her life earlier could have sent a clear message to Eridan that his genocidal ideation is not okay, but instead, she has afforded the luxury of her presence.

The aforementioned preoccupation with Romantic Destiny probably made it so much easier for her to wait, too. As the Heiress, Feferi enjoys all the benefits of being in troll society while having to put up with almost none of the downsides. The suffering of other people - the extra pointless emotional turmoil she puts Eridan through by stringing him along, the suffering of the trolls whose lusii she has employed him to murder - their suffering is all theoretical to her. It’s not something she’s ever had to encounter herself (something she shares in common with Jane - if I remember correctly, Andrew’s commentary suggests that he picked up some of the ideas he was originally exploring with Feferi to explore with Jane).

(Some of these ideas are from a conversation with @bladekindeyewear with whom I was having a conversation on Discord while I was writing this).

https://homestuck.com/story/2475

Instead of indulging Eridan’s emotional theatrics (he continues to make other people’s suffering about himself, via his pretension of nobility) I want to call attention to the fact that, as a chemical coping mechanism, Homestuck compares Trolls’ use of Soda to humans’ use of alcohol.

I don’t know if sugary beverages have a similarly potent physiological effect on trolls as alcohol has on humans, and it doesn’t matter if it does - the parallel is being drawn nevertheless. I’m only making this point, because later on it will become important: Terezi and Rose’s respective addictions (Rose’s alcoholism and Terezi’s... sodaholism?) directly mirror each other.

https://homestuck.com/story/2516

The fact that Vriska’s narration here describes these sidequests as pointless is, I think, another clue into Vriska’s overall character. By all accounts, she and Tavros actually seem to be having a blast together. She’s not going for the gold, she’s not skipping right to the end, the two of them are just screwing around in her magical land, going on adventures. Okay, she is literally going for the gold in the sense of treasure hunting, but in a more figurative sense, the Vriska we’re more familiar with would probably be a taskmaster, using the scourge of her overbearing personality to drive the team forward to victory over the main final boss. Instead, she’s most in her element here when she’s not doing anything remotely important at all, just hanging out with someone she likes(hates? Troll friendships are complicated.)

Abusive relationships are rarely as obvious or simple as one person harassing and berating the other all the time. Tavros is clearly having a blast here too, and throughout this whole sequence.

https://homestuck.com/story/2521

The problem is that there are two Vriskas (at least), the Vriska who lives inside of her, who she’s only comfortable bringing out around people who have no expectations for her, and the Vriska that Scratch, and Spidermom, and Sn0wman are egging her on to be, the Ideal Troll who cuts through the bullshit, cuts to the chase, and becomes the most important person in the universe. Later on, they will be literally bifurcated by John’s retcon shenanigans.

Homestuck uses the language of alternate selves and ultimate selves to discuss a question that is applicable to real life as well. “Who is the definitive version of a character for whom different choices and versions of themselves are possible?” And when applied to real life, the question becomes something more like, “Could I have chosen to do something else instead of the thing that I did? Are my intentions important, or only my actions?” I don’t think it answers clearly, but just getting us to think about it might be sufficient.

https://homestuck.com/story/2531

The Black Queen is just one of the many malign influences in Terezi and Vriska’s lives, and while she’s not literally an abusive parent to both of them, by egging them on to indulge their worst excesses (Egging Terezi on to persecute people pre-emptively or overzealously, egging Vriska on to take away other people’s agencies), it’s safe to say that her voice is just one of many doing the same thing for the two of them.

https://homestuck.com/story/2543

Oh man. The memoes are some of my favorite conversations in all of Homestuck. They’re funny, but with the exception of one or two of them, I’m not sure how much useful info we’ll get out of them.

https://homestuck.com/story/2567

:)

https://homestuck.com/story/2575

Karkat and Terezi may not have literally had sex, but whatever their secret encounter was is effectively symbolic of a consummation of their relationship. She knows what color Karkat’s blood is. They have been in a pail together.

The two of them can hardly be more intimate with each other.

Too bad it doesn’t work out.

But then, it’s probably for the best - the fact that it doesn’t work out for the two of them is the retrospect we need to be able to say it was never going to work out for the two of them.

https://homestuck.com/story/2576

Something different does it for everyone.

https://homestuck.com/story/2578

What does it for Vriska is having the shit beaten out of her by Aradia.

What is Vriska’s big takeaway from this beatdown?

Maybe if we continue to read Aradia as being Vriska’s doppelganger, being savagely beaten by one of her own victims, and one who is so like her in terms of her feelings of helplessness, her feelings of being at the whim of a cosmos that is out to get her, Vriska realizes that the thing she lashes out to attack in other people - the weakness loathed by troll society - is what she hates and fears the most in herself.

https://homestuck.com/story/2587

Aradia is starting to lose her tolerance for scenarios that involve being manipulated by those very same actors that are making her feel helpless.

https://homestuck.com/story/2593

Aradia interprets Sburb as being a challenge to come between any prospective gods and the ultimate reward. Perhaps that is the case. Assigning intent to Sburb to me seems possibly flawed, since it is, after all, only the reproductive organ of a universe. But perhaps it does have some intentions of its own. Are those intentions uniquely Sburb’s? Perhaps specifically Skaia’s. Maybe they are even, more generally, the intentions of Paradox Space itself. But Sburb itself seems more ambivalent to its players than anything. The vast majority of sessions, it seems, kill their players outright, or at least produce null sessions that never give rise to universal reproduction.

https://homestuck.com/story/2625

And that is where we shall conclude for this evening.

Cam signing off, Alive and Not Alone.

[abundantchewtoys]

Homestuck Candy p1-4

So, finally we've found the time to start reading the other epilogue, aka the Candy path.

You'd think COVID19 would have given us plenty of opportunity already, and yet... we always managed to fill our spare time with other stuff, XD.

But I think it's fitting that we'd start reading again, 11 years to the day after Homestuck started. Especially with the cherub theme of the epilogues. Not just the meat/candy dichotomy, either - apparently the books solved by VIZ Media feature a black & white Sburb logo as the symbol for these epilogues!

I wonder what differences both paths are going to be showing, and what twisted parallels. Are Dirk & Alt Calliope fully replaced as antagonists by an alternate Caliborn and... somebody else?

Crack theory: the Davebot shown in the final page of the epilogues is from the Candy path. :P I'm working from the assumption that the Candy & Meat path will merge at some point, though the Meat path kind of feels "more canon" to me, but then I'm biased for having read it already. Under that light, it would make sense that the final page would feature characters from both paths - and the Jade we saw seemed to be the Meat version of her Game Over self.

But I wonder how much the Candy path is going to stray over to the "Diabetes" side. I mean, it's pretty much a given everything is going to turn out a lot sweeter, but we know from the Trickster arc that that could delve into uncanny territory as well, no problem.

It stands to reason that there's going to be different POVs we didn't have in the Meat path, but even then, I think events will turn out differently on Earth C too. For want of a nail and all. For want of a John, the election was lost. So maybe with his continued presence, Karkat will be able to win. Then again, a lot is going to depend on who's the narrator(s) of this path, too. Dirk and Rose's evolution isn't just going to go away, now, is it? Unless the narrator replacing them (mis)uses their powers to depower their expanding awareness, of course.

In more immediate future events, no points for guessing John's clothes are going to become sticky and rifled with sugar bits from all the candy he's about to consume.

---

Page 1

What the SHIT.

Hahahahh, and directly we get a reference to how this path might be less influential, with John feeling less substantial.

And this talk about splinters and splitting leaf veins, hahah. It's possible the splinters were referring to Dirk and how his relevance might have become nullified now. And the splitting how, even if this timeline doesn't contribute to canon, Paradox Space MIGHT NOT CARE.

But then.

Roxy opens up to John, and they (she?) confesses how she was hoping for him to stay. It's a valid point to make - if they're no longer relevant, what's the use in fretting about things.

Though, then Calliope asks something of John that turns everything upside down. John freeing Gamzee?? I wonder if that means only freeing him X thousand years in the future, or retcon zapping him to then, when he would find Caliborn & Calliope's egg.

The more I think about it, the more it seems fitting. Candy John takes care of loose ends "outside" of canon, on Earth C, while Meat John went back into canon. It sheds more of a surreal light on Caliborn & Calliope's session though - they found a way to "re-enter" canon on their own! Also, they contacted canon from outside it - making them even more of a symbol for Homestuck's fandom and hatedom!

Now, Blaperile seems convinced that Gamzee's going to be given the time to make up with his friends and then finds the "serenity" (pardon the phrase) he has when we see him on LOCAM. Yyyyes, I mean, I can see how that'd work, but I'm with John - whether it's time for forgiveness or not, he's still a murderclown, even if he was suffering from withdrawal symptoms from sopor slime at the time of said murders.

---

Page 2

Well that happened.

Dear god though.

For a full minute I was actually genuinely convinced Gamzee was sincere, but yeah, like John says by the end - it really feels performative.

But, why in the blazes did Candy John go into canon after all? Didn't they bring the fridge along, then? Boy, this marks yet another split timeline, I guess, since now the fridge didn't go through all that bullcrap during [S] Collide. It also made Gamzee's suffering in the fridge less painful, well, physically, by a certain margin.

But I guess he did have some trouble breathing in there. Still, that's karma, seeing as what he did to Equius.

Note!

John contacted Terezi, and from the sound of the conversation it didn't seem all that exceptional that he could! While in the Meat path, they seemed to have been out of touch for a long time. So, like, does the Candy path in reality diverge a lot earlier than the Meat/Candy choice? (Well, from a certain viewpoint, I guess you could say the path diverges from the moment John went back to LOTAK to steal Gamzee, in fact. If you ignore the fact Earth C is outside of canon. So for want of a clown, the canonicity was lost, I suppose.)

If not, does this mean that this Terezi is the same as the one Meat John found? I seem to recall Terezi making some kind of weird remark to John regarding the time she spent in the blank remnants of the Furthest Ring. Does it retroactively mean she was talking to Candy John all this time?

Or are there now two versions of post-Collide Terezi, too? Ugh, gonna have to follow the MST3K mantra I think.

Gotta say, I REALLY wasn't expecting John to message her, of all people, but he's right! If anyone knows how to feel about Gamzee in a similar way, it's definitely her.

So, Blaperile voiced the theory that maybe Candy Calliope turns out to narrate the Candy path, and with how vaguely sinister and mysterious she's behaving, I'm inclined to agree. What, does that mean that this version of Dirk is going to take over the narration from her at one point? It would also mean that, from a certain viewpoint, Dirk & Calliope were narrating the epilogues in the exact same manner, until the Meat/Candy diversion point. Since Doc Scratch is kind of the Calliope to Lord English's Caliborn, and he shares slime DNA with Calliope's body & Dirk's mind, that's not that far out there.

---

Page 3

Wow. Okay, I started to think we wouldn't get any reference to Dirk's Ultimate Self narrator-overtake shenanigans from the Meat path.

But no. It seems Dirk is fully aware that he's no longer in the "relevant" path, and he's actually quite hung up about it!

He apparently immediately gives up on everything - his political plans, his fights with Jake - but I wonder why?? Does he know, in some immeasurable way, that whatever the Candy path has to contribute to canon in the end, it isn't that?

He also seems to acknowledge something is dreadfully bad right now.

It will just have to turn out whether he means something besides his own grand plans not having a chance of working out - or not!

I'm looking forward to him explaining just how John's choice will have an effect on EVERY living being on Earth C, and what that effect could be. (Crack theory - irrelevance is going to slowly start turning all of their personalities into caricatures, flanderized Trickster-like semblance. :P I might not even be half wrong in this!)

Does this mean that Karkat will still run for presidency, even? Maybe him and Dave still hear about Jane's cancelled plans and are inspired? If so, I wonder what'd be the unintentional bad effects of Karkat's presidential turn.

---

Epilogue Two Page 4

Well, now, if there ever was a page seemingly MADE to be read after the Meat path, it sure is this one!

Seems like Dirk's influence, or at least a certain foreboding sense of danger and stress regarding Rose's illness, was already making Kanaya and Rose slowly drift apart.

I know we're going to be seeing bad influences from the Candy path in due time, but for now, at least this makeup scene helps as a reminder that, whereever Rose and Kanaya ended up during the Meat path, they still have a chance to make amends later. (I do wonder how Dirk and Rose's narrative influence is going to be dealt with in Homestuck 2.)

---

This seems like a good, lethargic cathartic place to stop reading. I hope we're in for 28 more pages, since if I counted correctly, it would mean Candy & Meat together would then count 64 pages, aka 8x8. (Or 8^y, where y=2.)

[tongue-tied-ties]

I finally got through all 200,000 words of that freaking epilogue and GOD HAVE MERCY I SHOULD HAVE WENT CANDY AND THEN MEAT.

Overall though, I like it. I like it alot! I mean there are some things I feel weird about which like.......aren’t the things everyone else feels weird about apparently.

SPOILERS BELOWWWWW~!!!!

So it’s alot easier to get out of the way what I am weirded out about than to explain the many things I did like. 

- I feel weird about the xenophobia thing and how it’s being treated. Like it’s being treated like a huge issue but like non-issue all at once?? I guess that’s because from John’s perspective he’s just too busy being weirded out or suffering to truly get involved. Like I sincerely hope nobody on the team thinks standing by in a situation like this is a valid stance in any way. But it also happens in real life so like, I get it. I think this bothers me because these kids were heroes. But also they were heroes out of necessity and because they were main characters. Like that’s honestly it. They had a mission and fulfilled it and they were hailed as heroes.

- Hussie presenting xenophobia as both a joke and a serious issue and sometimes it’s hard to tell what position the comic is trying to take which makes me uncomfortable. 

- I think it’s in character, but I hate that Karkat alone had to defend himself every time Jane was being the #worstTM. I hate that Roxy just standing by knowing good and well these are the stakes every single time was never fully addressed. I wish somebody sat our beautiful bae Roxy to let them know that like this is shitty too?? Like you saying this is simply politics when a literal extinction is happening is shitty why didn’t anyone tell them that in stone cold, super serious terms for the love of GOD it bothered me so much. 

- Alright anytime Dirk used any sort of like reddit NiceGuy Are you triggeredTM 4-chan bullshit language it turned me all the way off. Like incel, beta, cuck?? Misgendering our void icon?? Yea. Cancelled but also not cancelled because I haven’t been this shook or excited over a villain in so long.

- Gamzee. Just...yikes all around. I’m not sure how I feel.

- JAKE DESERVED BETTER. HE REALLY FREAKING DID JUST SAYING. JAKE DIDNT DESERVE THIS MADNESS. Omfg i never hated anyone as much as I did Dirk when he snapped Jake’s psyche in half forcing him to love Dirk. It was so fucking iconic though and I’m still mad y’all. So many feelings. Oh god and when Jane like........did him wrong?? What le fuck? Jake i’ll be your friend, come here mate. Please let me hug my boi who I didn’t stan before but i stan now.

- Those kids.....I love those kids give them a good future, please. I’m begging hussie let John be a good father.

- I think the kids grew because they were with each other, and they fact they didn’t stay together and let each other be isolated kinda makes this make sense to me but it does feel like with some characters the growth went out the window. But also....people can regress especially if they stop after like one epiphany or whatever, so I see how this happened.

- Dave redirecting what should have been the core political issue (freaking extinction/controlled population of exclusively the trolls) to the economy every single time. Like Dave baby you were never the most racially sensitive dude (coming from a black girl who watched you say negrocity, call black people not shining shoes revolutionary (which could be read as irony in context but still) in the same rap, which, YIKES!) but like try please?? Hussie freaking fix this.

- I oddly feel weird about them getting rid of their flesh bodies for their ultimate forms and I’m not sure why but I honestly don’t want all bots. I can’t even explain that in a way that makes sense.

- Jade. Like....everything she did was a big yikes and honestly I’m reading the main story again to see if there was a character trait that led to her behavior. Cuz Dirk literally always had an overbearing personality and it was never truly addressed leading to what happened. Jane never really stopped with the whole business and control thing and she never really seemed to care for the trolls one way or another so I can kinda see it.

- Honestly?? I’m happy for the form of happiness that some characters had but MAN was it just the slowest most excruciating march towards that end. In candy, it felt like I was literally feeling John’s twilight-zone stir-crazy rise up in me as I read through. I think a “benefit” from reading Meat first is that like.....damn I ended up agreeing with Dirk. Like all of this shit was largely avoided and addressed sooner when Dirk was in charge and I hate/love that I’m saying this! Like what the hell y’all that's so brilliant to me. In Meat, I just.....wanted them to be free to make their own choices and when I was nearing the end in Candy, I realized they weren’t so damn isolated and I was happy that some of them finally got to heal.

To segue into I liked it starts on the same point my dislikes end.

 - I felt so frustrated by everything that was happening which.....dear God is great writing because if I was John feeling this for years instead of the solid day it took me to get through Candy I’d be handling it way worse than John. I almost wished that Dirk would come in and take charge because they were just.....fucking up on every level. With Meat, I wanted what was in Candy and I wanted them to have their fucking free will to choose instead of these awful circumstances Dirk forced them to be in.

- DAVE. DAVE. DAVE. Fuck I love dave just so much, he felt the most home to me the entire time. When he fought back in Meat to make his own choices I was so proud of him. When he decided to join the revolution I was proud of him, when he finally admitted he was gay I was proud of him. When he just existed and seriously thought about what he wanted and needed to work through he felt like he authentically was trying to figure himself out the entire time in both Meat and Candy and I was so proud of him. Honestly will always have my heart.

- NUBS MCSHOUTY. From awkward bottom to rebel leader he is just a breath of fresh air every time he speaks because it is always a freaking mood. LIke yes, the extinction of your people is awful and you should say it. Yes, people who stand by and just sidetrack the conversation into semantics is awful and you should freaking say it. Yes! Yes! Yes! omfg. YOU ABSOLUTE FREAKING ICON

- Dirk. I.....ugh I know this is controversial but I love everything that happened. Our Dear walking God complex becomes literal God and it all goes to hell. Our friend the control freak, controlling the narrative when he reaches his ultimate form. Ou dear Dirk who always needs something to fix horribly fixes the narrative. When he revealed himself and said “but you already know that don’t you” in his iconic yellow text color me FREAKIN SHOOK. Like literary reveal of the gods (specifically this god ha). Nothing will shake me the same holy shit I was horrified and the horror never stopped. Omfg shook Dirk just freaking shook. So since I read meat first I was like “holy cow was he always like this?” But like, the one dirk that was decent freaking killed himself with his last wish being for relevance and like.....of course he’s like this?? It’s Hal, Caliborn, ARDirk, Brain Ghost Dirk and Dirk One who honestly was only half decent most of the time. All of these pretentious beings in one? Oh yea edge lord self masturbatory train dead ahead. AND I LOVED IT, the absolute fear and horror as he took the narrative back from Calliope was horrifying, his increasing disdain after the reveal, the moment he forced Jake to fuck everything up for the resistance was ICONIC oh my god I was so here. I was loving it so much I was scared I was being controlled by Dirk.

- Jake was always passive and like.....it manifested so bad. I mean I thought he stepped up when he finally, defeated the felt crew but like....of course, one battle isn’t going to solve a lifetime of posing and passivity. I don’t know why I never considered the horrible implications. I do wish he grew a full spine in one of the epilogues.

- Regardless of how I perceived her in canon, Epilogue!Jane was never painted as a hero ever. THANK GOD cuz Epilogue Jane is doing some really bad stuff.

- Roxy - our voidey babe exploring their gender identity and deciding in both that they don’t care for their assignment in some way, valid. Having all stages of their identity and the stages respected (in what I viewed as a great and fully addressed way as a cis black girl) is surprisingly refreshing when I look at Roxy alone and not the transphobic stuff Dirk was doing which was icky and Caliborn-ish.

- Rose and Kanaya being happy in Candy. Like it seemed so OOC but Rose also was literally dealing with something that ENTIRE TIME. When she was little it was the alcoholism of her mother, when she was in paradox space it was from horror demons to literal death, to life-threatening situations to being the seer she needed, to her own substance problem etc etc. Being non-essential freed her from that and we got to witness her still be the badass, freedom fighter she became. And I just love the thing she chose without needing to, without absolute necessity, was to raise their daughter AND fully immerse themselves in troll revolution against an oppressive regime. Fuck yes Rose, you deserve some fucking peace without debilitation or circumstance. Rose in Meat shall never be spoken of because that is so so so sad honestly. She was dying and like...Dirk took advantage of that which is tactically freaking genius considering Rose is usually who can pull these dorks together into action but damn Dirk.

- Fuck you know what I’m gonna say it. Dirk is the best villain holy shit he is honestly, truly smart and manipulative and somehow charming in this sick sick way God I hate/love him right now. I’m.....omfg still shook.

- I honestly just loved how intertwined it is, how twilight-zone/gritty it felt. Every literary craving I didn’t know I was having was fed and in the best/worst way. I’m hooked and here for wherever this is going. Also, I typed it above and I’ll type it again. I didn’t realize it but these kids, while they ascended as Gods were not heroes. I don’t think the kids really cared about their denizens much ever in canon. They fulfilled their mission and we handed them the hero stamp because we’ve followed their story. They are simply people who had a mission to fulfill and did that mission in whatever capacity you choose. They are ultimately really flawed human beings who were traumatized to hell and back with no real devices on how to deal with it properly. Of course, when you give flawed humans God powers, a world to rule over and nobody really holding anyone accountable bad things are bound to happen. They grew because they were in a situation where they had to and they were removed too soon for them to keep that growth. Fanfic or not, canon or not, essential or not, I think these are valid outcomes, within the context of who they are.

[blaperile]

Homestuck Epilogues - Meat - Page 7

[fantroll-purgatory]

Ok, ok. So this is my Highblooded fantroll, Dommih. If your still available, can you please help me out?

Thanks for your patience! As we clear the backlog, your troll caught my eye because of the interesting sprite.

Also, im sorry if its a bit weird, im on the mobile version of tumblr.

FIRST: Alternia or Beforus or some type of AU?

Alternia, my own session of sgrub

Aight, per the rules I gotta be stricter with my sprite edits! I know it’s frustrating but unless otherwise stated we do our best to remain a canon-compliant blog (though the current batch of trolls in the Troll Call have successfully invalidated a number of our former “rules”). In the end I *did* give you a bonus shirtless version since I felt there was detail that went unconveyed with his shirt on.

Name (preferably include how you came up with it and why):

Dommih Presea

The first name i had used a generator. It was one of the only ones that really stood out for me! As for his last name, its was a play on ‘Pixies’ and fish puns, (sea being the pun). I had messed around with the first part for a bit until it started looking somewhat readable. This happened until it is what you see today!

Hmmm I can get down with the last name, but for the first how about Doflin, from the scientific name for the North Pacific giant octopus (Enteroctopus dofleini). It also helps that it kinda sounds like “dolphin,” if you wanna keep going with the nods to oceanic fauna.

Age: 6 sweeps

Strife Specibus: Bident-kind

Fetch Modus: Connect four

If we wanna strengthen the octopus theme, why don’t we go with a MASSIVE Connect Eight? It would be an exceptionally difficult modus from which to retrieve anything, which means Doflin needs to be very quick on his feet! Er, tentacles?

Blood color: Magenta (i would very much love to keep it as it is!)

I’m probably going to adjust it to Feferi’s color which is pretty close to what you already gave me tbh.

Symbol and meaning: his symbol, pictured above, was a twist on Feferi’s own symbol. I simply curved it abit, and added the swirls one end of each side, as you can see!

Honestly I think it fits! I went and resprited it using Feferi’s actual symbol as a base so it reads a little neater but it’s p good. I think you sent this in before the extended zodiac was released, so if you want him further adjusted to fit with the new canon I am more than happy to do so! I personally think Picorn works well because a) I classed him as a Rage player and b) it kinda looks like a tentacle’s sucker.

Lusus: Octopus

I believe all tyrianbloods have Gl’bgolyb as a lusus since there’s only ever supposed to be one at a time, which is just as well since she’s basically a massive octopus anyway. Male tyrianbloods are supposedly exceptionally rare, and trolls are often matched with a lusus of the same gender for whatever reason, so if you’re dead set on having an Octodad in true videogame fashion, it may help to come up with a reason why.

(For example, perhaps Gl’bgolyb gave birth to a horrifying troll-horrorterror hybrid, and Doflin is a test troll who has been given to this hybrid to test if it can be used as a backup parent for backup heirs? It would give Doflin a reason to play in his (presumably doomed) run of SGRUB if he doesn’t have much to do save wait for his antecedent to die, which is unlikely to happen in the near future, and it would also give you a convincing reason for his odd appearance; it doesn’t matter if he’s a mutant since he’s basically a test run who isn’t expected to succeed the Condesce)

Personality: He is a narcissistic troll, who takes pleasure in hurting other trolls and seeing others suffer. He wouldnt care if you were to break your arm, there would be no sympathy. He lies, cheats sometimes, and finally, has stolen from others. However, he only sees it as fun, and doesn’t want to change for anything.

I think the fundamental problem here is that you are describing someone who fits perfectly with Alternian ideals and nothing else. This would be like giving me a bio for a human that said “they like to hang out sometimes!” What does that mean? This doesn’t mean that a character cannot have that trait, but that there needs to be specificity. For example, a character who likes to hang out might do so at a mall, at their friends’ parties, or just invite a person or two to come home and play video games. Each of those details gives a clearer picture of the kind of person it is.

So, give me more details to flesh him out! Does he go wandering around populated areas looking for a fight, or is he the type to meticulously plan a one-man heist? Is this attitude the reason he’s so scarred all over? What’s the story behind that? Answering these questions will help you in the future when you try to stay consistent with his characterization.

Title: Kaiser of Life (i would also love to keep this)

I just looked this up and it looks like, as a fan class, it’s basically Prince of Life but with a higher ranking? It’s my personal bias that most fan classes are easily subsumed by a sufficiently well-explained canon title, but I guess I don’t object to just the cosmetic change. However, the character you’ve described doesn’t seem to be a Life player at all (even one from a destructive class!), especially since your bio doesn’t really specify that he’s a cold-blooded murderer so much as that he’s just…apathetic? I would say he seems more like a Rage player, especially since he’s set in his ways and furthermore narrows others’ options through injury. Personally, I feel he’d make a good Thief of Rage, especially since “high class thief” is a fun trope to play with.

Land: Land of Precipice and Silence

I kinda like Land of Onslaught and Outbursts, an underwater land with active volcanoes that must explode to create a land path to the denizen atop a high mountain. Unfortunately, doing so endangers the aquatic life! It’s a perfect parallel to both his status as a seadweller highblood and is a means of harnessing his own violent outbursts to a greater end.

Dream Planet: Derse (same here!)

I’m always okay with tyrianbloods on Derse, especially since Gl’bgolyb is herself a minor horrorterror.

On to the redesign!

Your sprite was saved a JPEG and much larger than a standard sprite, so I sized it down for comparison and basically made a new one while copying over elements of the original.

Horns - based on your description of his symbol, I figured you were going for horns similar to Feferi’s with minor alterations. So I literally just took Feferi’s horns and added a hook to the end of one of them. I also liked the kind of curly ones you added to the bottom, so I have a miniature version nestled in all that hair.

Hair - I started with a bun base from naphal’s sprite sheet, then merged with with the hair you already gave him, then futzed with it for a long, long time.There’s a new instagram trend called an “octopus bun,” which is basically just a fancy term for the messy bun that we’ve all done if we’ve had long hair that we needed out of the way, but it gave me a good starting point. If you count the tendrils of hair coming off his head, you’ll find that there are eight, and it really does look like there’s an octopus sitting on his head!

Eyes/Scars - I actually just used your existing unscarred eye to create a template for the cleaner ones. The other eye is a little scrunched up due to the scar tissue over it, which I grabbed from this template by fryingpanismyweapon on deviantArt. This is the case for all of the additional scars you see on him.

Freckles - I wasn’t sure if there were freckles on your original troll or just noise from saving it as a JPEG, but between that and the fact that you used a grey tinged with his blood color, I liked the idea of some grey and blood colored freckles on him. I used this template from x_pandatastic_x to get the effect, then messed with the existing ones to get his other freckles. You can see in the shirtless version that I provided that the freckles cover his entire body.

Ears - he’s a seadweller so unless you have a reason he’s gotta have the fin ears.

Mouth - once again, I just took the one you made and cleaned it up a bit! I feel like it has a lot more personality than any sprite sheet template I could conjure up.

Shirt - like I said, if this is an Alternian he still (usually) needs a black something with his symbol on it (though as I mentioned before, recent Troll Call reveals have indicated that it doesn’t need to be as strict as we previously thought). I used naphal’s sprite sheet to give me a base, then messed with it until I got something that resembled a swim shirt. That said, I still gave him a shirtless sprite to show that I kept the chest scars under all that

Fins - I will honestly admit that this is just a spriting limitation for me. I could not for the life of me figure out how to make the fins work on the torso without looking atrocious. I still liked the element, though, so I grafted them onto the backs of his feet with some scar tissue and ripping to boot.

Shorts - I noticed that you did pants for your original sprite, but given his whole concept it really felt like he was more of a swim shorts guy. Once again, I used naphal’s sprite sheet for a base, then added details like the drawstring to try and fit with what you were originally going for. The teal color you used for the majority of the shorts in your sprite didn’t really track for me without a solid reason, so I tried to devise my own color scheme. I came up with the purple pockets to reference Gamzee, the best-known canon rage player, and the blue underlining as a reference to Vriska, the thief. This is much in line with Feferi’s coloring which takes from Jade, the Beta Kids’ Witch, and Jane, the Alpha Kids’ Life player. As a bonus, it looks like that really specific color combo that all those soccer moms wore on their windbreakers in the late 90s/early 00s? I don’t know if you want to go that tacky, but I had a lot of fun doing so, and feel that there’s canon support given that every tyrianblood we’ve seen so far has been notoriously tacky with their fashion choices.

Feet - The barefoot one is from tajazzled/fan-troll’s now-ubiquitous sprite sheet. You used some fairly standard shoes for him, which worked just fine, but after I made the foot fins I wanted to give him footwear that made sense to me. Since one of them is ripped, I figured some scuba flippers would be a good way for him to get around underwater. This one is modified from fantrollartroom’s templates.

Aaaaand that’s it! I really liked your character a lot, and I hope you like the changes I made!

-TR

[thelifetimechannel]

[clonerightsagenda]

I quit writing Homestuck meta a long time ago, but I guess the pre-4/13 fervor is infectious, because this popped into my head and wouldn’t go away. So here’s some musings on Homestuck, the ending, and its portrayal (or rather, erasure) of character identity and agency.  

Let’s rewind back several years and a few subsubacts, to the meteor and battleship crews’ not so triumphant arrival in the combined session. Two of the kids’ number have been mind-controlled and forced to work for the Empress. Two have been thrown in prison. One has been banished to the outer reaches of space. The rest have been divvied up and placed on various Lands, given different tasks to be completed for the Empress. Even in beating SBURB and winning the game they have no escape, because she intends to rule the new universe they create… until it spawns Lord English and is destroyed.

Things look bleak. And things look even bleaker when Game Over rolls around, and most of the cast gets exterminated. But wait! John Egbert, Heir of Breath and leader of the Beta session, has gotten his hands on a miraculous artifact supposedly useful as a weapon against Lord English. He now has the ability to travel throughout time and space and to change things that usually cannot be changed. While his friends get wiped out, he fights the “tyrannous author” figure who has been telling their story wrong and wins. Surely with his newfound abilities, he will set things right and lead them to freedom.

Except.  Not really.

Oh sure, John “saves the day”. He uses his retcon abilities to create a new timeline where everyone lives and wins the game. But is it a victory? And did everyone really live?

I’m going to argue that the ending of Homestuck is a tragedy where characters’ identities are frequently ignored or overwritten in order to serve the utilitarian aims of the narrative (and Skaia). I do not make this argument believing Hussie intended it. I think the dip in quality and coherency at the end of Homestuck was the product of an author who was tired of his project, had lost track of a bunch of plot points and characters, and just wanted to be finished. But I do think its treatment of identity is drastically different from the rest of the work and sends some disturbing messages about how “happy” that ending really is.

Alternate Selves

Dave and Davesprite. Vriska and (Vriska). Pre- and post-scratch. Bro, Dirk, Hal. Throughout the comic, we’re shown that alternate selves are different people. They may begin as the same when they split apart, but in not too long, their personalities diverge as part of lived experience. Bro is not Dirk is not Hal. They have certain base characteristics and sometimes experiences in common, but they are different people. Most members of the fandom would agree that it’s silly to suggest that they aren’t.

And yet the ending of Homestuck asks us to accept something very similar. The Game Over iterations of characters are wiped out, and a new set takes their place. While earlier parts of the comic train readers to view the loss of any one iteration as significant and the introduction of a new iteration as something different (Rose’s grief over losing her mother cannot be completely abated by the introduction of Roxy; Rose’s mother is still dead. And I suspect the fandom would not have been pleased if Dave had died forever and Davesprite had been anointed sole Dave survivor.) this asks them to do the opposite. Oh, sure, the characters you’ve been following for years are dead and never coming back. But here’s a new set!

Even more eerily, the characters themselves go along with it. Rose, who saw a version of Roxy die in front of her, is perfectly content to greet a new version. GO!Roxy’s arrival absolves Jane of the guilt of killing her best friend, and apparently the other Alphas aren’t at all perturbed that the Roxy joining them has a different set of memories. (I’m not sure anyone even tells Dirk, who was out in space for all of this.) John, who has a history of looking down on alternate selves (his entire fraught relationship with Davesprite versus the “real” Dave, his proclamation of friendship with “past Terezi”) apparently has no problem meeting up with a version of his sister who has no memories of the three years he spent with another version of her, and neither does she. The GO! survivors slot right into the retcon kids’ lives to fill some available gaps, even though earlier they would have been considered separate people by the story, not replacements.

Characterization

I’m not going to get into how nearly everyone’s character arc and development got dropped (or expound on why ‘real people don’t have arcs’ is nonsense) beyond that the majority of characters get sidelined, used as means to an end, and/or objectified, which also impedes their agency and identity. That’s another post. But what I will focus on is how one character who gets brought to the front of the stage exemplifies the destruction of identity for the sake of utility that this ending seems to prioritize. That character is Vriska Serket.

Now, Vriska is a lightning rod of fandom de88. But identity and the negotiation, suppression, or recreation of it has always been a big thing for her. Vriska emulates Mindfang and adopts many of her nastier behaviors on Alternia in order to survive their violent culture and her dangerous lusus. This is the explanation for a lot of her actions, but it doesn’t excuse them. Throughout the story, she frequently teeters on the edge of realizing and accepting that her behavior is wrong (GO!Vriska gets closest, although she never quite makes it). Retcon!Vriska, though, has had that spark of self-awareness snuffed. Puffed up with self-importance over having reality literally rewritten to save her life, she’s cruel for the sake of cruelty and forces everyone else to go along with her power gamer strategy regardless of whether it’s a good choice. When she encounters GO!Vriska, who we can presume is closer to what Vriska might have been without all these toxic influences, she lashes out at her and seems disgusted by who she has become (her more authentic self?). GO!Vriska then wanders off, encounters Terezi, and vanishes from the story entirely. Retcon!Vriska is the one who “defeats” (?) Lord English before vanishing as well. She is sold as the missing ingredient that leads to a victorious timeline – the version of Vriska who has rejected and lost her true identity under a warped façade, turning into the monster she always fronted as. Inspiring.

The Dreaming Dead

(EDIT) Since we just talked about Vriska, let’s talk about her pawns. The dreaming dead get jerked around a lot throughout the story, but the first time Vriska and Aranea steal their minds, it’s supposed to be messed up. The image of Scorpio signs hovering over their blank expressions is eerie, and John (the hero) points out it’s ethically dubious. Later, Sollux bails because the whole thing makes him “feel dirty”. The first time dreamers die at English’s hand, it’s portrayed as horrific both through the presentation in Caliborn: Enter itself and Dave talking later about how after witnessing “the screaming and the killing” he’s had a hard time sleeping. We even recognize some of the dreamers - the version of John killed hails from Davesprite’s timeline, and we even followed his time with Vriska briefly. These ghosts have identities. We know them.

In Collide, though, dreamers are dispatched in droves without fanfare. They’re simply a distraction Vriska uses until she can get English with the weapon (although why she needed a diversion I’m not sure, since she doesn’t exactly try to sneak up on him). They change hands between ‘leaders’ without ever having voices of their own, and their deaths have no impact. It’s just visual noise. The dead only matter to the extent that they can serve main characters’ aims and the narrative. 

Ultimate Selves

In the last handful of pages of the comic, Hussie introduces the concept of “ultimate selves” through Davepeta. Apparently combo sprites can remember all iterations of themselves (although they don’t particularly act like it, but whatever). From this perspective, they find differences of selves meaningless, and inform Jade that every self is important because they help create your ‘ultimate self’, which is a compilation of all selves into a sort of Platonic ideal. This means, they tell poor Jade, that she didn’t really miss out on three years with her friends! Her ultimate self had a great time. Why this is supposed to be a consolation to this Jade, who had a shitty time, I am not sure.

Again, this flies against the established differences between selves that earlier Homestuck prizes. Alt selves have different identities. They’re different people. Claiming the boundaries between them are meaningless erases that. The concept of an ultimate self makes sense from a reader’s perspective. We get to see all the different paths the characters go down. We get to look at different selves and use that information to inform our reading of the character or our grasp of some of their inherent qualities. But that doesn’t apply to the characters themselves. It’s cold comfort telling this Jade that another version of her didn’t suffer alone for three years. She did. If this were leading up to some massive memory merge between timelines then I might acknowledge it held water, but as it is… it reads like the attempts of an author to justify a bad decision.

We have whatever Terezi did in Remem8er (a beautiful flash, but no one can quite determine what it meant) but we don’t know whether she actually accomplished retrieving any memories because she never gets to talk about it. (The flash also implies that every death spawns a ghost, which is directly contrary to previously established game mechanics so I won’t really get into it, but that does further complicate the whole identity thing we have going on here.) And I’m not sure I buy Davepeta’s pep talk at face value, as I’ll expand on in the next section.  

Sprites Squared

Oh boy. If you’ve followed me much you know I hold a grudge against these entities for a whoooole bunch of reasons. But among other things, they’re an excellent example of lategame Homestuck’s identity destruction at work.

The combosprites take characters in pretty bad shape – struggling with depression and alcoholism (and Nepeta, but she seems mostly along for the ride. I mean, she doesn’t even get a Heart symbol as part of Dp’s outfit) – and perk them right up. Setting aside the fact that this is weirdly like the whole ‘smile away your problems’ shtick in Trickster mode, something even more sinister seems to be going on. Neither of them act all that much how you’d expect them to. Davepeta doesn’t talk much at all like either of their components besides surface level quirks and cat puns, imo. Jasprose, after Rose died lamenting that she didn’t tell Kanaya she loved her, rebounds at lightning speed. But let’s move right on over to the smoking gun, where Davepeta suggests dating Jasprose shouldn’t be off the table, even if some of their components are related. “The Dave part of me is saying no no no,” they say, “but that brain tantrum just cracks me up”.

This seems to imply that the components of the combosprites are in fact 1) separate 2) sentient and 3) not pleased. And were sprites ever true unions of personalities? We don’t see much of Erisol or Fefeta, but as soon as he’s distressed, ARquius’s two components start speaking separately, and based on Tavros’s comment that being Tavris wasn’t that bad versus Tavris screaming that they’re an abomination, that sounds like it was mostly Vriska talking.

So if Davepeta doesn’t sound much like either of their components, and at least one of those personalities is still independently yelling somewhere in their subconscious, who ARE they? I’m not sure, but I’d sure take their cheerful promotion of “ultimate selves” with a heaping pound or two of salt. (EDIT) Especially as I’ve argued elsewhere that it’s in Skaia’s best interests  to have a bunch of game victors complacent about the sacrifice of hordes of people for the Big Picture, and sprites are a mouthpiece for Skaia and the game. And even more so since the message of the combosprites’ “fixing” of their components’ emotional distress seems to be that the way to achieve happiness is to stop being you, much as the Game Over kids were only able to stop suffering by ceasing to exist at all.

Retconbound

Finally, let’s look at John’s finest moment, altering the timeline so that everyone lives. He’s Breath – communication, freedom, travel – given ultimate agency by the juju powers. But… he doesn’t get much agency. He’s following Terezi’s orders, written in blood (Blood, an aspect of bonds and binding). And he seems rather unconscious or uncaring of the effect he’s having. After picking up the ring, he drops by a set of meteor kids recently transported onto LOMAX and enjoys a touching reunion, saying hi and hugging them… and then teleports off to make that never happen. What was the point of that display of friendship? What even happened to that group of kids, in a timeline with no ring of life? We don’t know, and the narrative suggests we shouldn’t care, any more than John does as he blithely flies away. We’re racking up a bunch of characters and timelines who are merely there to serve the narrative’s latest whim or need, not because they’re important in themselves.

And here’s the kicker. That juju, that magic device that saves the day? It’s powered by four Beta kids’ souls trapped inside it for eternity. We don’t know what timeline they come from, or whether they ever escape. They are faceless, voiceless, identityless plot devices that give John the ability to do what he does. They’re the culmination of how this narrative treats its characters in the endgame – as tools to get to the last page. Skaia doesn’t care who walks through the door, as long as it has warm bodies to hatch the frog and keep its cycle going. Homestuck, it seems, doesn’t care which set of characters prevails as long as it can close the damn curtains at last.

And the thing is, you could have gone somewhere with this. After all, how many troll ghosts are in the bubbles? Thousands. We don’t follow their story and then watch them die, but a bunch of versions of those characters we know and care about died and festered in the furthest ring. There could have been a point made about how Skaia is happy to consign groups of children to the scrap bin if they don’t fulfill its aims, how horrifying the whole system is and how little regard it has for life. Current set of tools broken? Fixing them would take too long and they’re not useful now, so bin ‘em and start fresh. Someone has to win. Doesn’t matter who. A quote by Hussie occasionally makes the rounds talking about how many Marios die before the end of a game, but we only care about the one who wins. Maybe that’s what he was going for, but I think he missed the mark tonally. (EDIT) Not to mention that the story’s biggest villain is a Lord of Time who, besides losing most of his own identity beyond a love of destruction long ago, is all about forcing people onto the paths that serve him despite what might be better for them and who has a whole subplot where he actually attempts to rewrite their story with crappy, subpar imitations of every character. You could easily have made a connection there, but that would suggest the villain triumphed in the end. Elements of the final flash almost seem to point in that direction, but the story still tries to play things off as a victory.

Because in the end, I think the Homestuck ending sucked. Some people say it’s a psycheout and the Epilogue will have more, or reveal that it was written by Caliborn, or whatever. Guess we won’t know until it arrives. But as it all stands now, I think it sucked a lot. And I could write about the dropped character arcs or messed up plot points, but I honestly try not to talk too much about post retcon HS because it depresses me that something I was so fond of ended so terribly. I wouldn’t have been happy if it had ended as a blatant tragedy, but I could have at least respected it a little more. But this? It’s not just that many characters sidelined and ignored, that plenty of important plot points are ignored or forgotten, that some of the writing and pacing is just poorly done. After an entire comic’s worth of emphasizing the differences between iterations of individuals and the importance and value of those independent lives, characters are treated as interchangeable and expendable as long as they get the job done. Utilitarianism rules the day. That’s how to win the game, to get this hulking behemoth of a tale to limp to its final rest. And the story tries to play this as a happy ending, and that’s the worst bit of all.

[saturdayam]

Saturday AM Movie Review: SPIDERMAN: HOMECOMING

.So, let's just get this out of the way...SPIDERMAN: HOMECOMING IS EXCELLENT!

Seriously, it's much, much more than mere "good".

This is easily the Best SPIDERMAN movie EVER!

BEST MCU MOVIE? --- well, let's say it's in the top 3 or 4 but for many, it'll be the favorite.

It's literally re-watchable. Many, many times over.

I'm nearly 30hrs from a pre-screening ( the movie opens July 7th) and I'm just buzzing for the chance to see it again. That's a big deal cuz as a 40-something comic fan who has seen MANY COMICBOOK, SUPERHERO MOVIES -- I've found myself extremely jaded over the last few years. Special effects have given us so many possibilities that previously only comic books and animated productions could visualize. Imaginative new worlds and ideas that were the exclusive province of truly gifted animators, writers, and/or comic artists are now easily presented for the masses via a living, 3D cinematic expressions in movies and a rising number of TV shows.

But something has happened.

I noticed it when I went to a Licensing Executives-only screening of Peter Jackson's KING KONG (many years ago--- God, I'm getting old) and that was this emptiness. By emptiness, I mean....this lack of spark, personality, and/or life. Think Big Trouble in Little China, GHOSTBUSTERS (the original) and the original Superman. Those films have a personality and I remember watching that kick-ass foot catch by Jackson's Kong thinking "WOW - this wouldn't have happened with the 1970's or 30's version of Kong". On the other hand, I left that screening thinking the plot was contrived and characters were lame. It had the technical wizardry but little heart.

I think WB / DC COMICS DCEU is the modern day example of this. Clearly, Snyder's Superman is displaying his powers in ways that had never been seen on screen before. There are shots in MAN OF STEEL and BATMAN V SUPERMAN that are lifted straight from the comic books. That said, both of those movies have storylines and acting that are so...lukewarm (if not, straight juvenile) that the franchise is just getting decimated by Marvel Studios despite DC/WB having a damn near 30 years headstart on Marvel with successful film adaptations (Donner Superman and Burton's Batman) and the fact that Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman are the most popular superhero characters globally by a wide margin  

SPIDERMAN HOMECOMING could have fallen under the weight of franchise fatigue (this is the 7th Spiderman film in 17 years) and/or just the behemoth that Marvel has wrought on the global box office and yet this film does not suffer from the things that afflict so many effects-heavy cinematic spectacles. This film has so much charm and personality that it's just...amazing! A lot of the reason for that is the story and the focus on a YOUNG PETER PARKER. Another reason for that is for one of the most diverse and accurate portrayals of high school --- ever.

Now A LOT has been made about the diverse cast in this movie and it should never be a shock to fans of Saturday AM how many people in the GEEK space bring negative, bigoted views to comics and anime. To be clear, SPIDERMAN's cast is incredibly charming from top to bottom. Tom Holland's Peter Parker has a Queens accent, loves Legos, and has the perfect wide-eyed enthusiasm. I am in for this kid big-time. He has so much charm and earnestness and he's not trying to 'play the nerd' ala Maguire or be the lonely heartthrob ala Garfield. There are two scenes that really stand out to me - one when Peter screws up on the Ferry (from the trailers, great scene folks) and then another during his first actual moment with the Vulture (it's in a car and it will shock you) and his simple reactions to both moments are so well-acted and so perfectly rendered to the story that for me it cemented the idea that HOLLAND IS THE PERFECT SPIDERMAN!

His class/ school, however, is where the film truly shines. Laura Harrier plays Liz, Spiderman's crush while the famous Zendaya plays a character sure to pop up in future films named Michelle. That there are two female leads and they are both women of color is some Saturday AM level stuff! I mean it. The same arguments I've had about having a minority main character in a manga and the refrain (laughably from other minorities at that) "it would just be forced to add a person of color" as if it's NOT forced to add in white/ European looking characters into Japanese society or future worlds (ala Attack on Titan). I can only imagine that some Sony exec tried to pull the same stunt -- "Hey, you can't have two women in Spiderman that he likes or hangs out with be black!!!" As if Queens, NY is an all-white town. Now, not everyone works. I will say that Flash Thompson played by Tony Revolori seems miscast for reasons other than his skin color -- the lack of menace, the height all conspire to make him a jarring choice for being the well-known bully. That said, the diversity adds so much to this film because it feels REAL, RELATABLE to everyone. From the school principal to the deli owner to the kids in the hallway of Peter's school, seeing so many people of color just adds such texture to the world that Peter inhabits and makes the idea that this is the MCU from the street level surprisingly feel more accurate than Marvel's Netflix shows.

This point, is brought home by the gym teacher played by a hilariously deadpan, Hannibal Burres, adds some great comedy when he suggests the Captain America school videos (which has a great payoff later in the film) is inappropriate because he's probably a "war criminal, now" (thanks, CIVIL WAR). But this diversity message really applies to two characters who are CRUCIAL to the success of this new Spiderman film and series. First up, the VULTURE.

Now, I won't ruin the twist to this film but not only is it a solid one but it really sells the whole idea of this version of the B-grade Spiderman villain. From the first frame of the film, we learn what life is really like for the hard working folks in a THOR, IRON MAN led-MCU and how that may affect a potential villain like the Vulture. Keep in mind, we just elected TRUMP in the US -- so the idea of the people feeling desperate enough to do something crazy is something we should all be able to relate to. And that's where Michal Keaton's character really shines. His actions are logical and while he's the bad guy - you can see how different his life could have gone had he gotten luckier in life -- just like our little Peter Parker.

Likewise, his redesign is AWESOME! I genuinely loved this look. It was creative in its' associations with the Vulture motif while also being synonymous with this world of the MCU. You could see how it could be terrifying in its' own right. I've seen a few reviews where folks have lamented some of the action scenes and while I disagree wholeheartedly (the Washington monument and Boat Ferry were both spectacular and remind of the classic train scene from Spiderman 2) I DO understand the lack of thrill in the battles between Vulture and Spiderman. At this point, neither has really fought to the death against another super-powered character (Spidey's Civil War romp was like a field trip to Peter -- we come to learn) and thus the battles are perfectly thrilling, intimate affairs rather than spectacle IMO. This is a small film. The world is not at stake and in many ways, that's what makes these more precise action beats so strong.

 Peter is still a nerd. He can't talk to girls and he wants to do the right thing even though those actions usually cause him and his loved one's problems. In fact, his friends are still intrinsically a part of his life (as we all can attest to regarding our own high school lives). Ned (played with such charm by Jacob Batalon) is the breakout star of this film. The young, portly best friend dreams of being Peter's "guy in the chair" and thus gives the film something desperately needed in the world of the MCU. He allows Peter to simply relate to someone with his secret without lazily needing to have it tie into a love triangle between the original trilogies' Mary Jane Watson (Kirsten Dunst) and the reboot's Gwen Stacy (Emma Stone) and the Spiderman persona. That the character is also diverse and clearly brought over from the Miles Morales Spiderman comic (he shares more than a passing resemblance to that series 'best friend', Ganke) is one thing - that he's lovable and funny as hell - is everything to this film.

SPIDERMAN: HOMECOMING is fun, it's FUNNY, and it offers a different view of the Marvel Cinematic Universe that suggests that with CIVIL WAR, the original IRON MAN film and the GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY -- Marvel Studios can tell ANY type of superhero story. This is crucial because given the battles between DC, Marvel and many others (c'est la vie, TMNT / Transformers) it means that we don't have to worry that this genre of film will feel stale. Spiderman Homecoming proves you can do funny films with a lot of heart!

Saturday AM score: 5/5

[abundantchewtoys]

Homestuck Candy p24-27 (timeskip!)

Page 24

Wooooow.

Okay, as dark as the subject matter became, this was almost a reprieve from the previous action.

So, Terezi and John are both depressed. Terezi struggles with the same issues we heard John get more into. Of course, it's just a matter of question now whether this Terezi is in fact the same one that Meat John met. I'm inclined to say yes, as the Furthest Ring is supposed to be outside of timelines.

Thus that means she was able to hang on long enough to recover (via shaving cream and tobacco) from exhaustion. To meet up with John and have "a moment". Only to lose him in the end. :(

But even so, she would have hung on. In any case, I like how it delves further into the actual problem for John and Terezi. Their Ultimate Reward doesn't feel like one. I think John and Terezi share something, a feeling of enjoying the chase, the taste of adventure, I should say. But what could they find that fills this hole? Exploring Universe C together, maybe?

In any case, Aradia and Sollux have appointed themselves as part of Calliope's court. Or acolytes. I think Calliope might be the drive behind the narration of the Candy path, even if her personality doesn't leak through.

So, more information about what's she's doing here! She seems to be building up strength to rescue people from Dirk's influence. Now that Lord English is dead, she's found another one worthy of her opposition, someone that has too great an influence on too many innocent lives.

I mean, I remember I didn't 100% trust her in the Meat timeline, since in the end she still has an alien look on life. But it's a worthy cause, I would say.

It seems that Calliope has retreated, or at least, migrated to this timeline, up until she's ready to take over the narration of the Meat path.

This, together with John and Terezi's feeling that nothing is real anymore, is one of the most meta things to happen in these epilogues.

So, does that mean that the Postscriptum of Meat took place on Candy Earth C? And then, is that Davebot a ghost from the dreambubbles or not? ... Hey, in fact...

Does that mean that, every ghost of the dreambubbles was "saved" by Alt Calliope by moving them outside of canon, outside of Dirk's influence? Wow. It's like the theory that went around in late Act 6, that maybe the kids would move into blankspace to escape the influence of the Green Sun!

Now, Blaperile already theorized Vriska's ghost might end up on Earth C. It could happen. Though, if Vriska would survive the journey, wouldn't Davepeta and Lord English have as well? Maybe it only works on ghosts?

I mean, I'm pretty sure that the Feferi and Eridan making out in one of the previous pages were (alt) ghosts.

---

Page 25

Ooooooooh!!!!

I didn't know I needed Karkat the tortured grassroot rebel leader in my life, but here I am.

They're trying to get the Mother Grub to safety. I can see how it is THE most important asset fought over in this war. (And whatever propaganda Jane has going for her, this IS a war, she's just delusional about it.)

Jezus, the fate of that top analyst. It's like a Hunger Games thingy. Jake's just a figurehead to improve Jane's image at this point, while she doles out corporeal punishments...

Swifer Eggmop continues to be comedy gold.

The fact that bucket taboo is now blasé, hahahahahah.

And then.

The mystery arrival.

By all accounts I thought it would have been Vriska.

But Meenah? How did it even work, the fact that Lord English' server connects to Earth C? ... Okay, fair enough, he's fated to grow up on the planet in the future, and Candy Earth C is looking to be more and more like the timeline it'll happen in. But still.

Still.

Wow.

She's so supportive for a battle hardened Karkat, it's adorable!

His commanding her around does make me wonder... Are they good for each other as kismeses?????

Meenah is so punk, she doesn't really care she can't be in command, hahah.

It'll be a big shock for Jane to see Karkat got his grubby paws on an alternate Condesce though. That MIGHT hurt her image as well, or her self image. She's been influenced by Condy into this ruthless business persona, she just doesn't realize it. To see a version of Condesce reject her policies might be world shattering news.

Still unsure if we're going to see Vriska, Davepeta and LE land on this Earth as well. If so, how would LE even be able to be defeated, I mean... He would have survived a black hole and all prophecies thrown as his life. Outside of canon, but not powerless.

... Still, think of the irony.

John thought he had chosen to AVOID fighting Lord English by staying on Earth.

How do you expect to avoid him, when he's ALREADY HERE? :o)

---

Page 26

Wow.

Another powerful page.

The Candy path is really much more existential than I could've expected. And, it's very much more of a continuation of the Meat path than vice versa.

So, Meat John's car ended up sucked into the black hole after who knows how long, after he and Terezi zapped to Earth C.

And Candy John is here to find it, more questions asked than answered. Just like how the meteors sent all this anachronistic crap back into time, hurling to the Earth for people to ponder over, like Nanna's note to John in the joke book.

Wow, John.

I think it's good he's in the Troll Kingdom, he might be able to catch up to Karkat.

But... Really now.

If this means Vriska, Davepeta and Lord English will end up here, and only Dead-Jade, Davebot and Aradia escape back into "canon"... What is going to be everyone else's fate.

I mean, I don't think Adult Jade is going to open a portal just like Dead-Jade.

---

Page 27

wow.

that

I was always surprised before of every long timeskip.

But 10 years. TEN. YEARS.

Though it is cool to see their kids growing up, I'd say. Of course Vriska would be looking forward to her sixteenth birthday, it's the equivalent of 8 sweeps!

Seems that despite everything, Vriska and Tavros and Harry Anderson too can keep in touch right under Jane's nose.

It's all kinds of weird and awesome, to see a Vriska that's kind of balanced. You can see the influence Kanaya has on her Quite Clearly, when she emphasizes her words.

Karkat got an eyepatch - actually, seeing the role he fills, it's quite fitting. Karkat grew into an admirable, suave leader figure, who knew?

Calliope emphasizes again, that what happens on this Earth won't matter for canon. Though I wonder then, what her plan was, why she had to wait so long to leave.

From the Postscriptum, it seemed as if she devoured bodies to charge up, so why did it take so long, and whose did she eat? Other Space players like Kanaya, Porrim and Jade?

Meanwhile, Dave and Jade illicitly support the rebellion too! It's weird to see them be so awkward about their breakup, but at least they put that all besides them and focused on the bigger picture. And hey, Dave and Rose, and Maryam and Vantas, united in a rebellion against a condescending figure... Time really does repeat itself.

John still suffers from the feeling it all doesn't matter. But it's very intense to read all this. So, only when he's 44 does he do away with Terezi's picture.

And through it all, he has suffered from the same ennui and desolation he has felt since he came to Earth C. In the Meat timeline, he felt as if he let time pass him by. But we see now that, without a purpose, John is just as lost.

And Meenah and Karkat are an item now. Contrary to what seems to be the popular belief, I think they're not <3, but rather <3< or <>, but who even knows. No references were made to more ghosts arriving on Earth C, which merits attention.

It's just such a strange world, both alien and so far removed from Homestuck, and in other ways, exactly what the doctor ordered.

It was cool to get a visual description of Harry Anderson. I’m looking forward to the first image I’ll come across from him.

Now I’d just like one from Tavros, to get an idea in what manner his appearance differs from John.

[abundantchewtoys]

HS Epi: Meat p10 reaction

So, with little fanfare, we've passed the point in time that is the Masterpiece.

I wonder if John's next interaction with the outside world will be granting himself retcon powers, or whether from his perspective the next thing is being summoned by Vriska. That being said, I wonder how Vriska will react to seeing these people emerge from the house artefact, you'd think she'd be very surprised. Will John & co. have felt it to be hours from their perspective, being trapped? Or longer? Can't have been years, or their relative age difference wouldn't matter any more.

Also, is Davepetasprite^2 nearby for their confrontation with LE? If not, this definitely won't be the final showoff! But if she is, well... I wonder how things turn out, this almost can't already be it for Lord English. Then again, if the perspective now switches back to Earth C for a long time, by the time we switch back the plot could be culminating.

I also wonder if there will be any interaction with the people outside the Black Hole's event horizon (I know, contradiction in termini there). Like, post-retcon Aradia, who'd been watching the mayhem unfold.

---

"Jane Crocker sweeps into her office" Well then. That answers that. Mary Poppins-style entry for them, then? :P Courtyard Droll isn't around to be wielding an umbrella, fortunately.

I'm interested to get a good look into her mind, given all we've heard said about the state of Earth C, and Dave's mistrust in her. Also wondering how her relationship with her Dad has evolved over the years. Wouldn't at all be surprised if he was still leaving supportive notes as well as confectionary in her office.

Blaperile has a good point, Dirk might be coming around, being her campaign manager. Their relationship was always interesting, due to the similarities to as well as the differences with John & Dave's.

"The sun cuts through her venetian blinds, painting butter-yellow strips of light all the way from one end of her impeccably tailored office to the other." In other words, exactly the state in which a private investigator likes their office to brood. :P Stations may change but demeanors don't do as quickly.

"It’s a lovely day, like most days, so not terribly remarkable except for the horrid news that she has just received at her customary morning press conference." There's competition afoot and its name is Vantas.

"[Jane] brushes her hands over her hips to smooth the wrinkles out of her powder-blue pencil skirt. Then she hems, haws, puffs out her cheeks, and takes a very deep breath before snatching a pillow off the nearest couch so that she can scream into it." So majestic. And such a Jane thing to do, too (even though Rose started the whole screaming into pillows for Homestuck), remember the time she was being 'supportive' when Jake was contemplating Dirk's affections? Both times, really.

"There are, surely, a multitude of ways for a person to find out that an acquaintance is running against you in a presidential election. From a carapacian reporter, in front of twenty-six other members of the interspecies press, was not the method Jane would have personally chosen." Welp. Well, yeah, it stood to reason Dave wasn't going to say anything, given his misgivings about her. 27 reporters, huh. Kinda wondering about how representative they were to the entirety of the populace. All the bigwig stations must've been represented, of course, but then it would seem humanity has an overly large representation in those already.

"She cannot believe that Karkat would do this to her. This is no longer a political fiat (which the election would surely have been had she run uncontested by any other civilization-founding celebrities) but rather a battle between “friends.” What did Vantas think he was doing?" Well, uh, it seems that he's giving you fair competition where you seemed to be of the idea there wouldn't be any. That's not really a good starting point for a politician, Jane. Seems like her business-minded attitude is indeed influencing her campaign strategy.

"This could not have possibly been Karkat’s idea." Yeah, I'd thought she'd be on to it quickly.

"He is not cut out for politics, neither intellectually nor in the very important matter of social constitution. Certainly not when it comes to economic policy. In fact, Jane is pretty sure that Karkat Vantas would probably literally burst into flame if too many people happened to look at him at the same time, like a vampire walking out into the sun." I was going to say that's unfair of her, but then she's never known Karkat when he's aflame with purpose, only the Karkat that's been hurt too much and suffered too many losses to remain motivated. Also, of course she'd "think of the economy" first. :P That's hilarious given Dave's concerns.

"Wait. Jane lowers the pillow from her face and stares at her brass-and-glass art deco ceiling. Was that vampire thing xenophobic against Kanaya?" Well, at least we know that IF Jane's really xenophobic, as Dave fears, she's trying to become aware of when she is and doing something about it. Of course, trying and succeeding are two different things - just as Karkat.

As for it being hurtful, well... Good thing she never met Game Over Kanaya, she might have had some objections to death-by-light-from-above.

"Dave was certainly no Dirk Strider, no Rose Lalonde, no Roxy, but he had that same scheming gene, buried deep down beneath his transparent onion layers of posturing and, frankly, rather outdated humor. An instinct to plan." Well, I wouldn't have said as much - if it was genetically determined there's no reason Dave couldn't have just not inherited those genes. But then, I'm all here to see Dave's take on scheming, sure. He's had a great example in John planting ideas about apple juice in his head. The bar is already set.

"And despite being inarguably the dimmest of his family’s impressive ecto-biological stock...

Oh, dear. Stock. That’s likely a problematic word, isn’t it?" Yep, seems like Jane really is trying. Can't believe I'm saying this, but if Kankri were here, he might have some good advice for her. A lot of bad, too, but still.

"Despite being the least mentally gifted member of his family" Eesh, okay, but she's still got a lot of prejudices to work out.

"Dave has always had an awful lot of opinions on the economy. In fact, Jane cannot remember a single conversation she’s ever had with him that wasn’t about the economy. She thinks back to one time at John’s eighteenth birthday when Dave engaged her in a rigorous and rather one-sided debate about deregulation and the failure of “neoliberal austerity measures” until Karkat had to come over and put his hands over his roommate’s mouth to make him stop talking." Well, I guess he's really, REALLY concerned. Can't blame the guy, though, but poor Jane, Rose knows what that's like, being on the other side of that trailing, lumbering monologuing. At least Rose's monologue's don't meander. :P

"carapacians were widely known to be swayed by underdog populism." That's because their civilisation was founded by WV, isn't it?

"And the consorts? Who had even given them the right to vote in the first place? In any other year..." Oh, so... Does that mean the consorts only got their right to vote so recently, after 5000 years. That's... Well, that might just be indicative that until recently, their political activism was nothing to write home about.

Jane starts to chew a pencil and it's just so FITTING for her, she's so fidgety, it's probably how Jade ended up being so giddy.

"In any other year, this wouldn’t be a problem. She’d be happy to accept a graceful, temporary defeat and let Karkat play president for a couple of years. After all, unlike her, he was not immortal." ... Eesh, so, yeah, that confirms that Karkat's godhood isn't expected to be eternal, unlike the humans. They could be wrong about it.

But what is so special about the current year, is the political situation on Earth C THAT volatile, or is Jane aware of things about to unfold on a cosmic scale - or even pan-cosmic, if she knows about the events back in canon with the Black Hole 'n all.

"But Earth C’s paper-thin idyllic history was very close to a boiling point—its very first boiling point, in fact, which will have everything to do with the problematic nature of troll reproduction." Ahhhh, right. So that's why she's aiming for the reigns. Didn't think her 'political takeover' had so moral reasons. ... Or, well, at least humanitarian.

"The first generation of natural-born trolls obviously cannot be entrusted to a troll." ...

Well that's just cruel. I know she'll have reasons given troll history on Alternia and B2 Earth alike, but it's their purpose as gods to change the world for the better, together.

Guess now we get to see the parts of her thinking that gave Dave reason to brand her a fascist, semi-serious or not.

"The citizens of Earth C were able to rest easy knowing that the government held careful rein over the... well, over matters of equity. No one could possibly trust something so important to a troll, knowing what everyone knew about their violent history." So it's the hemospectrum she fears would be reinstated. She's equating their biology with their ideology then, thinking natural-born trolls are fundamentally more oppressive as to those birthed through scientific means. Oooh boy. That's a whole steaming pot of problematic thinking.

"Jane presses her eyes shut and runs her fingers along the fine-grain patterns in her mahogany-paneled desk. She is about to think something that she has promised herself never to think again. In fact, she is about to say it—this horrible, ghoulish, girlish thought that used to rule her world and make her so terribly weak. The shameful thought is expressed out loud in the form of a defeated sigh." ... Is it... "I wish Dad was here?" Even if he's still alive, she might have tried to become her own woman, cutting more ties than is healthy.

"JANE: I need Jake." Pfffff, okay, yeah, that I understand. She needs his support to swing the voters. Guess Jane is also trying very hard to be "over him", just like Jake with Dirk. I can see how well that is going for her. Now I wonder how the Nannasprites are doing.

"She spins around and, still sitting on her desk, presses a familiar entry on her phone’s contact list." Either it's Jake and it's familiar to her because she still looks at it ten times every day, or Dirk's because they get along so well and are working together on her campaign.

"JAKE: Ahoy ahoy!" ... Yeah, this is going to be so cumbersome for Jane, I can just feel it, her old feelings now causing quite the opposite response towards everything that makes Jake who he is.

"the ol’ horse tranquilizer trick." Just... just how many times has Dirk pulled this on him already? And how many more times is Jake willing to go through with their show?

"JAKE: Which i suppose i should have seen coming, as dirk has ended all of our matches in this fashion for the past week." ... Jake. Jake, honey, you need a coach. A non-robotic one. Or settle for a non-shitty spirit guide. I know that narrows it down to basically zero, as far as sprites are concerned, but still.

"JANE: Oh dear. That sounds absolutely terrible, Jake. Is there anything I can do to help?" I wouldn't like it if Jane keeps pretending to care for Jake if there wasn't any truth left to the gesture.

"JAKE: Help? Gadzooks woman! I hardly think myself in need of help. JAKE: Its a jolly good adventure working with someone so predictably unpredictable as our good friend dirk!" Then again, it would be hard not to get exasperated by all of this... airheadedness, well meaning as it is.

"You would think that Jake enjoyed the sadomasochistic nature of his and Dirk’s personal and professional relationships. Judging from the last conversation about election strategy with Dirk, he seems to be perfectly aware of this feature of Jake’s personality. You can’t be too nice when courting his endorsement, Dirk would say. He doesn’t respond to nice." So Dirk is still being rather methodical in his interactions with Jake. :/ But I mean, Jake does respond better to challenges, at least initially. He appears not be scared off/by Dirk though, I wonder how he's worked through his feelings about their breakup?

"something big and hollow and metal connecting with Jake’s head. When Jake comes back to the phone, he’s yelling into it." Jake's life is just like a cartoon on even the best of days, isn't it?

"I appreciate very much that you have called me out of the blue to say such nice things to me with no ulterior motive!

From anyone else, this would have been a portentous statement. However, Jane knows that Jake English could not have possibly meant this with anything but the utmost sincerity." Well, I wouldn't mind it for Jake to have developed a level of self-awareness, but yeah... That's unlikely by now, isn't it?

"JAKE: Because i must note that although i try to stay sporting about what comes at me, i cant say that i am chuffed about how much of my correspondence lately has to do with the marketing of my image. JAKE: Its beginning to feel like all people want from me is to stick my derriere on a signpost for their own profit." ... Well, okay, he's become self-aware to the extent he realizes people idolize him and pine for his affections. But that's just because he was so very much affected by that during the session. It'll take a lot longer for him to pick up on more subtle and rarer things, though.

"It must be so difficult. For you more than the rest of us, due to your, let’s say... JANE: Natural gifts? JAKE: Huh?" Well, guess he doesn't realize his good looks yet, at least.

"JANE: But you know that I have always wanted what’s best for you, right? JANE: And I am ready to give that to you. JAKE: To give me what? JANE: The best, Jake. The very best." That could be very ominous, "what's best for you". But what would it be if it were sincere? A way to follow in his Grandma's footsteps, while ensuring he doesn't blunder and blow up anyting unintentionally?"

Jake is quiet a moment, and Jane can hear the rusty gears turning in his head." Insert "*thinking*" smiley here.

"JANE: You should stop by to see me this evening! JAKE: Do you mean my evening or yours? Were in different time zones right now and i dare say that the sun just went down here so if you wanted to have a soiree on my time youve missed your chance." It'd be a fair question, assuming Jane could've been in his neighbourhood. I'm sure their meetup won't go quite as nefarious as pretending they're dating to the press, right? ... Right, Jane?"

Jane feels her fake smile flexing so hard that it was beginning to hurt. Oh yes, she loved this man in basically every category that you could possibly love a person, but sometimes talking to him is like trying to build a house of cards while riding a mechanical bull." Ah, so they were facetiming? :P Note the past tense in 'loved'. :/ Well, old flames do still elicit feelings of friendship, a lot of times.

"JANE: Mine, of course! I’ll have the best year of your favorite crocodile-made scotch flown in from the Consort Kingdom and we’ll have a little catch-up.

Jake actually hates scotch, and only drinks it for appearance’s sake. But for this—for this unbelievably pivotal moment in the history of the planet that they created with their bare hands—Jane is willing to spend a few thousand boonbucks to watch her old friend pretend to sip at the same glass for a couple of hours while prattling on." So: A) Crocodiles might be living in Scotland, if the scotch authentic. Highlander Crocs in kilts and playing bagpipes. Glorious. B) Boonbucks are the currency running the economy, which explains how they can all be so rich. Of course, their influx of cash could've disrupted the economy, but if it had Dave's would've already complained about it. C) Guess there's never been something as disruptive to happen to Earth C as the Mother Grub, then. Not even natural disasters. D) Plan Fake Date is apparently, actually going to happen.

"Time to work your magic, Crocker." Magic being ruthless business-minded political scheming, I hope. Since she's serving Jake drinks he doesn't like, it'll all be for pretense, down to the drinks too. But I wouldn't like to be in Jake's shoes if she starts to fake-fancying him.

[ardenttheories]

idk if you're willing to answer this but what do the individual classes represent especially when trying to determine your class?

I’m not too sure what you mean by represent but I’m assuming it’s something like this; in a literal context of our world instead of the super powers of the SBURB world - so if I’m wrong, please let me know!

Your class is the way your aspect manifests, and how you use it. So when trying to determine your class, you really need to go through and understand how you personally act, and how this would affect your use of your aspect. 

Here’s a starting point:

Witch: to rebel, to manipulate aspect to their will

You’re likely someone who actively rebels against your aspect - the rules and regulations of it, the usual limitations - to force it to become something utterly your own. Think Jade shrinking down the planets; if she’d done that under the normal laws of physics, I’m pretty sure she’d have made a black hole. Instead, everything remains the same, just smaller. As someone who actively loved science, she goes against her own laws of physics to instead allow her and her friends to progress into the alpha session. To be a Witch is to know how something works, and essentially to screw with it to your own ends.

Heir: to inherit, to seek out aspect

You’re likely someone who can obtain your aspect easily, and would to most people seem a literal embodiment of it. Think John, a bit flighty and free, with no active concerns in the world, who works as much of a free spirit as one could expect. Nothing concerns him pre-game; he is, essentially, free of all worries. To be an Heir is to actively seek out as much of your aspect as possible. 

Mage: to understand, to take action with knowledge of, to suffer from aspect

While it may seem more like a seer, a Mage actively suffers from their aspect - think Sollux suffering from the voices of the Doomed, or Meulin suffering in her relationships. Mages tend to have an innate understanding of their classpect, and use this understanding in order to take action - again, think Sollux using Doom to even create SBURB to begin with. In a more literal context, Mages likely suffer from but are really good at their aspect; so a Mage of Heart like Meulin might suffer a lot in their own relationships, but be absolutely brilliant at ensuring others get it right.

Seer: to learn/find/observe, to advise with aspect

Seers, on the other hand, pour themselves over their aspect, gain knowledge and understanding of it, and advise people with it. Think Rose guiding her session with her visions, or the Signless attempting to change trolls’ minds with his visions of Beforus. They’re likely people to be more bookish but fantastic at advice. 

Prince: to destroy, to destroy with aspect, to ghost the opposing aspect

Princes are a bit confusing, but don’t worry. Princes, in destroying their aspect, sometimes work a bit like their opposing aspect - so a Prince of Rage might seem like a player of Hope at first glance - but you can usually tell a Prince of an aspect from their opposite by destructiveness alone. It’s very obvious, very plain; a Prince of Heart like Dirk, for instance, may frequently ruin relationships, and a Prince of Breath may actively destroy the freedom of others. Undiscovered, they are more likely to be toxic players - but when aware of their actions, become incredibly useful (for instance, a Prince of Heart may be good at destroying toxic relationships between friends). If you’re a Prince, you can usually tell it from the level of destruction you have in your life. 

Bard: to destroy through the effect of, to allow the destruction of aspect

A bit like a Prince, but subtle. Bards are more laid back, more relaxed, until the time to destroy their aspect strikes - at which point they’re likely not even the one who does it. Think Gamzee using Terezi’s rage to trick her into killing Vriska. Bards are usually harder to spot, but I suppose you can think of them as that kid in movies who starts a fight by saying “Janet said x about your mum!” They don’t get actively involved as a Prince would (a Prince would have said “your mum is x” to Janet instead), but typically cause the issue that arises.

Maid: to create through/with aspect

Maids create their aspect - which makes it pretty obvious to see one when put into the context of an aspect. A Maid of Time would make Time, so in literal terms, is more likely to suddenly have time for every issue on hand. A Maid of Breath is more likely to make freedom, so may be a healthy and freeing person within your life (perhaps someone who helps you find a website or game or book that becomes your little hideaway from life). If someone seems to just make something out of nothing, regardless of how difficult that may be, then chances are they’re a Maid.

Knight: to manipulate, to make use of, to hide aspect

Knights tend to hide their aspect behind facades of who they wish they could be. A big pointer to you being a Knight would be if there is a part of you that you keep tightly hidden, a part that you cover with what you would assume others consider to be normal. Dave using irony and a coolkid persona to hide his abuse, Latula using a gamergirl persona to hide her insecurities, and Karkat just straight up hiding his bloodcolour behind grey are all examples of Knights hiding. However, Knights are adept at understanding the rules of their aspect and finding ways to bend them without breaking them - so a Knight of Heart may not be able to make relationships out of nothing like a Witch, but they would be able to forge stronger relationships between people who already work well together. They are, in essence, problem solvers who wish to help people (usually to a self-sacrificial level) but struggle to show their true selves.

Page: to grow through, to lead others with, to lead others to use aspect

Pages seem weak at first, and usually throw up a barrier of defencelessness so that others will work for them - take Jake actively acknowledging that Jane wants to ask him out, but in their conversation managing to make himself seem clueless enough that she spins herself in circles and eventually says that she doesn’t like him, the response he wanted as it meant he wouldn’t have to deal with the struggle of both Jane and Dirk liking him - but through time can usually become natural leaders of their aspect. Using Jake’s classpect, a Page of Hope might be the sort of person to lead you to begin believing in yourself, and a Page of Breath like Tavros would either lead you directly to freedom, or lead you to find your own freedom. A big sign of you being a Page, thus, would be if you frequently put on a face (usually of cluelessness) so that you don’t have to face situations you think will be hard.

Thief: to steal aspect (for own benefit)

Thieves are pretty obvious as a class. They are more likely to be selfish people, or at least people who focus more of their time on themselves. They steal from others for their own personal gain, with usually negative connotations; a Thief of Breath, for instance, may “steal” another person’s freedom by blaming them for something they didn’t do, thus forcing them to suffer the consequences instead while getting off scot-free. To figure out if you’re a Thief, consider if you appear or put up a front of being self-centered (much like Vriska and Meenah), and whether your actions have given you frequent benefits and others frequent downfalls. 

Rogue: to steal aspect (for others’ benefit)

The same as a Thief, but with the purpose to help others. A rogue is more likely to be selfless, putting as much as possible into helping others as they can. They steal to ensure that someone else can improve in whatever their aspect may be. When questioning being a Rogue, consider if what you take from others is beneficial; does the person who gains the aspect gain something from it, or does the person who loses the aspect suffer less because of it? Do you do these things selflessly? Rogues tend to be a “out of the good of their own heart” sort of class, like Roxy and Nepeta. 

Sylph: to heal/fix, to heal others with aspect

And another pretty simple one. I won’t go over this one in depth, but Sylphs tend to be motherly figures, or figures who present themselves as helpful upfront. In fixing their aspect, or in healing others with their aspect, they tend to flip between seeming focused on themselves and on others; think Kanaya and Aranea, one who is overly focused on the actions of others, and one who is overly focused on the sharing of knowledge to the point of paying you for it. Sylphs fix things, as completely as they can, and so to question being a Sylph you ultimately need to ask yourself if you’re a fixing sort of person.

Muse: to become, to inspire through aspect

Lord: to become, to control aspect

Now these two I know less on, so I won’t really go over them, but from what we can see in canon? Lords are typically more domineering, assertive; they control their aspect no matter what, and they control it well. This usually contains negative connotations, and revolves entirely around how self-centred the Lord is. They look out for themselves, for the continued presence of their power, and little else. Muses, on the other hand, are inspirational figures; they are kindly, sweet, more submissive in personality, but also perhaps a force to be reckoned with through the sheer ability of their class. To inspire is a powerful tool, and can be used to utterly create or utterly destroy most thing. It’s more obvious, but if you find you’re an inspirational person and tend to be more passive as a person as a whole, then maybe you’re a Muse. 

When trying to determine your class, you essentially need to look at the base simplistic description and question what each class would correlate to within your personality. Classpects base themselves entirely around you as a person; are you an overtly rebellious person, or perhaps someone who grasps the idea of an aspect smoothly? Do you consider yourself someone who destroys an aspect, or someone who fixes it more often than not? 

If you’ve already found your aspect, it’s significantly easier. Trying to understand a class without it’s aspect is like trying to understand one piece of a puzzle without looking at the other pieces; it will never truly reflect who you are, because to destroy Heart is not the same as to destroy Mind, so looking at just the Prince class alone will never tell you everything you need to know. You may even find that the above descriptions don’t entirely encompass everything a classpect may bring; maybe a Lord is typically as I explained, but a specific Lord of [Aspect] is completely different! It’s always good to start off with your class by trying to find a few that fit, then combining them with your aspect to see which class still makes sense to who you are. Don’t mash a class and an aspect together because they seem to fit individually if, when together, they sound like someone completely different. 

In general, though, these simple ideas are enough to go on. If you can look at one of these and think to yourself “do I hide parts of myself? Am I a natural leader? Do I rebel against anything to a degree that it defines me?” then you’re already halfway there. 

[abundantchewtoys]

HS^2 Re: CHAPTER 14. The Best Laid Plans, Part 2

So, time to read up, I think there were like three new updates since I last visited the site, hahah!

Oooooh boy, Chapter 14 continues, it's not even done yet. Eesh, yeah, what is Jane plotting to do. Massive laser beam from above is my guess. But yeah, that would cement it for Jake and Tavros that she really sees them as disposable, in the end.

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> Page 344

Ohh! So it switches to Vrissy and Vriska? And... Vrissy knows about the plan going on at the church? So they got told, before laying low at Roxy's place, it seems.

But now they're out.

And... Vriska wants to start a new Sburb session. To get Vrissy into the god tier. And set Earth C back a few eras, for a "hard reset" of society. Eesh.

That's indeed very on par for her line of thinking.

And it starts to point in the direction, finally, of what I had been thinking. I had thought the descendants of the Creators would start a session that would "coincidentally" be joined by the members of the races that Dirk and Rose are creating. Seems like it's heading there.

A black & white session, originating from a white (win state Earth C) and black (Black Hole Earth C) timeline. Ultimately merging into one.

But that means that Calliope (both versions of her) started a different session on the same Earth as one of these timelines (or both, depending on where Alpha and Alternate Calliope came from). That's not too surprising, as B1 Earth spawned a lot of sessions too.

Are they going to the meteor for the Sgurb play grubs? I think so.

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> 345

Uhmm. What? I don't think an ambush is any real incentive to enter the Medium for, like a meteor or a spaceship or drones.

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> 346

Uhmm. Yeah, Vriska is trying to engineer a situation where Vrissy has no choice but to play the game, I guess. Still seems stupid.

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> 348

Well then. Vriska was right. These soldiers of Jane look like they are closely related to her. Or maybe it's just the tiara.

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> 349

Oooh! Nice melee weapon there. Are those... nunchuck dice, or something?

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> 350

Not 2*8 agents around them, sadly.

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> 351

Nice overview of the carapace kingdom. A lot less purple and gold and a lot more blank buildings than I imagine. That seems to be the park where John made his choice in the epilogues, in the upper right quadrant of the picture. With a clock tower nearby, so probably "the" clock tower.

And don't think I don't recognize that shadow being cast from a certain ship owned by a certain coorporate mongul.

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> 353

Oooh, John is looking for them. Is he going to fly in the direction of the ship? But what about Harry?

Hah, look at those totaled cars. That's the aftermath of Vriska flipping out, during the epilogues. It wasn't cleaned up properly after all. Roxy's car is pink, that's perfect. ... So, does that mean she went for groceries without her car? Or did she have a spare car, also possible.

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> 354

Looking at it from below, the ship is actually more menacing. Less confusing design choices distracting from its size and menacing look.

It's really huge, isn't it? Compared with the clock tower.

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> 355

Huh, so there's already fire in the church?

Does that mean John's too late? Whatever Jane ordered has already happened? Or did the rebellion start the fire when they crashed the ceremony?

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> 356

Huh. John's house? Where is the ship even going??

Oh. Wait. The church where the ceremony was held was in the human kingdom, John's house is in the consort kingdom... So did Jane pick everyone up and is now taking them to the troll kingdom for some reason?

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> 357

What? A bomb? Has Jane really ordered a bomb dropped on an alternate version of her family home? She's really lost it. Then again, Blaperile has a good point. All those fires in the distance... They might just be bombing indiscriminately.

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> 358

Oh god.

...

Wow.

If John was relatively on the fence about Jane until now, he has just been swayed. His childhood memories... The last remaining things reminding him of his Dad...

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> 359

D: This is horrible.

The war has often felt surreal and stakeless. But it isn't, it really isn't anymore.

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> 360

John's just... Stopped. He's unwinded. I wouldn't know how to process what he's going through, either.

It's more than just stuff. It's a lifetime of memories. And the connection with his Dad, most importantly.

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> 361

He was so shocked he didn't even think of blowing out the fires to save at least a part of the structure. Then again, what would have been the point?

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> 364

That's Jade, right?

But I just thought of something. Jake would have been able to aptly sympathize. A batterwitch bombed his childhood home, too. If he ever connected the dots on those events, that is.

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> 365

FLIPPING KARKAT???

Wow. Look at that badass. Solid Snake for real.

Blaperile has a good point. The cape he's done evokes the Sufferer!

But this is what I'd call a Martial Messiah.

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> 366

Art whiplash!

... Wow I have missed these two interacting.

Even if it's true, and John is not getting the catharsis out of talking with Karkat he normally got. It's true what Karkat said. Noticing the problem and being able to solve it are different things. And he's been out of the game too long. He's back to square one, he'll have to let people with a slightly better grasp of things tell him where to start.

So, at least until now Karkat didn't mention Harry Anderson being caught. The Vriskas probably got caught in an elaborate ploy by Vriska Prime to engineer the perfect situation in which S***b is the only way out. :(

At least Fanny has been freed and already shown her competence to the other adults. So she's got one up on a lot of the other kids already!

So, what? Did Jane's plan of retaliation really constite: bomb it, bomb it all? And yes, a lot of ploys at stake by Jane seem to consist controlling the offspring, of her friends, of other races...

And did anyone else feel as if Karkat's rant against John, about listening to the experts when you notice things going to shit, could also be seen as a rant in favor of following Covid19 measures?

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> 367

John is like: this has GOT to become a two-way feelings jam. It's the only proper way to go about this.

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> 368

Pffffff. John is the one ranting now.

He has a good point though. They haven't discussed the Yiffy situation and should DEFINITELY discuss the Dave situation. If Karkat even really knows he's dead. Which would be weird if he hadn't, since Rose and Jade are part of the same organization.

So with Karkat immediately, momentarily and at present starting his rant about Dave, I'm sure you are reminded of how he was going to tell John how the kids fucked up the session. Only I wouldn't be surprised if this time we're in for a perspective switch.

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> 369

Seriously. Okay, perspective switch in 1, 2, 3...

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> 370

Okay, I was psyched, I'll admit it.

Hah! Just like Jade got accosted by two Karkat's, John is feeling ambushed from three sides by one!

...

Oh shit, Karkat REALLY doesn't know what happened with Dave yet. And here we'll find out what John and the others even know. Also, yup, Karkat is still in denial of his feelings for Dave.

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> 371

Eeeesh.

Okay, his Dave impression is on point, points to Karkat.

But now John is going to be the bringer of bad news. Why even did no one care to tell the leader of the resistance this most important fact??

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> 372

Welp. Karkat really wants to bury this topic. And...

The sad part is...

It's half done now, too.

But John is going to have to get through to him, so I fear he'll just explode and blurt it out, if he can't get a word in edgewise.

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> 373

...

So they know. That much they know. So they found his body. And Davebot didn't leave a message.

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> 375

... Aww.

That's actually a good point for Karkat to make, from a Doylist point of view. In story though, they must have thought it was a sudden, unexpected death, somehow in line with Heroic or Just? Or... Do Karkat & the others think Dave pulled a Dirk on them, that would be so sad.

The difference with the meteor, I mean, the pirate ship crew, can't be much bigger. In fact, I'd say as far as Meat and Candy go, Karkat's situation is basically flipped from the very start.