#jeff melon

[your-witch-trial-has-expired]

Jeffmelon!

@z-t00n the creator of knt

Aiden: that is the ugliest melon I've ever seen

Jeffmelon: *rolls off table*

JEFFMELON NO!

[queerism1969]

[13tinysocks]

She Jeff on my Killer 'til I go to sleep

[forgot-how-catflap-works]

Hot take: Sisyphys got a sweet deal

We must imagine Sisyphus happy, according to existentialist philosopher Albert Camus. It’s one of his hottest and most widely known takes. The idea that when confronted with the meaninglessness of his existence, condemned for all eternity to push a boulder up a mountain only for it to roll back down, dear old Sisyphus may find contentment. What other choice does he have after all? 

(Showing my age here with the rage face meme and will not apologise #MillenialPride)

The assertion is that we mortals are faced with a similar conundrum. Life is unpredictable, chaotic, and frequently terrifying. With nothing but the infinite void to look forward to, how are we to spend our days? Either we embrace religion and pray for eternal salvation, skip the queue to the void by killing ourselves because it doesn’t make any difference in the end, or laugh at the absurdity of it all and find joy in the simple act of being here. It is up to us to create our own meaning. 

On my good days this notion provides me a lot of comfort, and links in nicely with the zen buddhist idea that this moment is the only thing we truly have. So the take home is to embrace it, and live fully for the moment. It’s all very Dead Poets Society or, if you’re like me and have never seen that film, the B plot in Season 1, Episode 3 of Community.  In the immortal words of Professor Whitman, “Seize the day Jeff, for real. Go running naked in a hailstorm, kiss a girl in the middle of the day, fly a kite but do it for yourself! Or you wot just fail my class, you’ll fail life.” 

On my bad days however, I’m just salty about it. Suddenly the pressure to create my own meaning in the limited time I have becomes crippling to the point of paralysis. Every moment not spent living my best life is a moment wasted. I move steadily towards the grave, the years ahead steadily becoming fewer than those behind. What have I achieved with these dwindling hours, these precious days in which I am burdened to create my own meaning? I’ll tell you what I’ve done; play RuneScape and be depressed.

The problem with transferring this thinking from Sisyphus to a human living under late stage capitalism in the 21st century, is that Sisyphys didn’t have to go to a fucking job everyday. All he had to do was push a boulder! All day! Piece of piss mate. 

What I wouldn’t give to just push a boulder all day. No laundry, no dishes, no reletenlessly targeted advertising and no more fucking work emails or meetings. I bet Sisyphys never once had a melon-related panic attack in the fruit aisle of Aldi. On top of that, pushing a massive boulder to the top of a mountain is an incredible workout. Right now I have to drive nearly 30 minutes to go and sweat in a leisure centre while strangers grunt in my periphery. Give me the boulder any day. I want that head empty, no thoughts, brain scampled egg life baby. Release me from the curse of my own self-awareness. 

Okay, I get it that Albert Camu grew up in poverty, survived tuberculosis, and lived through the Second World War. I readily admit that my “melon crisis” doesn’t stack up in comparison.  All I’m saying is, it’s pretty easy to imagine someone happy when they are free from the mountains of bullshit that besiege us every single day. I am completely overwhelmed by the mere act of existing under capitalism. The sheer number of decisions I have to make every single day just to get from one end to the next breaks my autistic brain. I can’t handle it, didn’t ask for it, and I certainly don’t want it. But surely we could do literally anything else? 

I know it’s sort of laughable to say, “Let’s all go back to a simple, agrarian existence where we live off the land and chill by a waterfall smoking phat blunts.” Like, obviously that sounds a thousand times better than what we’re doing now, but short of a catastrophic societal collapse and then thousands of years of recovery, that’s not going to happen. Did you know it (sort of) takes six months and over $1,500 dollars to make a single chicken sandwich from scratch? Sustaining a single human life requires an incredible amount of work. 

There are so many of us, and we’re so connected and interdependent on each other as a species. No organism on the planet comes close to what we have built for ourselves and it is an amazing feat by every conceivable metric. But what is it all for? Have we ever once as a civilisation stopped and asked ourselves why we’re doing any of this? 

For whatever reason, we are apparently limited in our conception of all that remains possible. A civilisation disjointed and misaligned, adrift on this rock hurtling through space at mind boggling speeds, confronted with the meaninglessness of it all and refusing to collectively acknowledge it for even a moment. 

It’s like we’re still locked in that primordial stage of evolution, where we must accrue resources to survive the harsh winter and outlive our rivals. When we predominantly existed as smaller bands or tribes, that made a lot of sense. But now we are a single connected superorganism, our sense of competition is squarely in opposition to our sense of collaboration. 

We broadly recognise the need to collaborate in tackling existential threats like climate change, yet our primal competitiveness sees us knee jerking our way back towards fascism. It’s like we’ve gone to the doctor about a backache and they prescribed a dozen hungry tigers to be administered immediately. We’re still acting as though there is not enough to go around, when there is in fact plenty; it has just been misallocated. I am left always wondering why? What do we have to gain from eating ourselves alive?

I cannot help but think it comes from a petulant refusal to collectively acknowledge the void. We struggle desperately for meaning, to leave a legacy, but forget that it is impossible. Even those who live on in infamy after their death will one day perish from the collective consciousness. Our sun will die, all heat will fade from the universe until it is nothing but a barren, lifeless waste. No tower you build or lineage you foster will outlast that. Yet we sit watching helplessly as oligarchs and plutocrats rail against their own mortality to catastrophic and destructive consequences for the rest of us. I suppose in the long run, that doesn’t really matter though does it? 

We have made a home for ourselves in the belly of a vast, insatiable beast. A beast so hungry for our blood and labour that it stifles anything that cannot be effectively comodified. How are we to find happiness and peace under such conditions? It is simply not a priority. 

To quote folk punk band AJJ: 

This is no exaggeration, we're living in a death machine

And no, it's not just your imagination

You've been living in a death machine

Some of us are passengers, and some of us are driving

Almost everybody's getting bled to death to keep the motor running

Sisyhus at least is free from its roiling guts, and in that freedom it is not difficult to imagine him happy. For the rest of us, it takes a little more effort and a lot more work. 

[daisyblog]

Teddy

Our Story Masterlist Summary: Harry surprises YN with a new little addition to their family. Warning: swearing

Harry was hoping he could have surprised YN for Christmas, but with everything going on and travelling between London, Cheshire and Doncaster, it just wasn't possible. So on a cold wintery morning in late January, Harry travels across London with Jeff to pick up the new little addition. After chatting with the seller, who Harry had met before with his mother, and her explaining a few things to them about the pup that had grown since the last time Harry had seen him, they were on their way back to Harry and YN's home in London to surprise her.

The little black pup, who was sleeping soundly, was laying in Harry's arms as Jeff drove. Harry tickled the pup's little head as he smiled down at him.

"She's going to freak out isn't she?" Jeff asked, as he glanced over at his friend.

Harry let out a chuckle "Yeh..she's been talking about getting a dog for ages but it just never seemed like the right time..but I think she could do with a little friend"

"You really are a soppy fucker aren't you?" Jeff teased.

"You call it soppy I call it romantic Jeffrey" Harry argued with a proud grin on his lips.

"So I'm guessing this little guy is gonna join us for the tour then" Jeff assumed, as he pulled into the driveway.

"Opening act I heard" Harry joked.

As Harry and Jeff had planned, Harry walked through the door first and his manager followed him with the pup in his arms. YN was sat on the stool at their kitchen counter, working on some the designs for the new business project, and another way of keeping her mind busy.

"Babe?" Harry shouted into the house as he entered, to hear YN shout back 'kitchen'. Walking towards the kitchen, Harry couldn't keep the little smirk off his face.

"Hey..how was the meeting?" YN asked, after Harry greeted her with a peck to the lips. "Hi Jeff" she greeted, before continuing to work the pencil against the paper, until she took another glance at him "Is that a fookin' puppy?" her grin shining through.

Jeff looked down at the pug "Uh no...I think it's a giraffe" he sarcastically replied, making Harry chuckle "Of course it's a puppy you fucking melon". YN and Jeff had a very unique friendship, it was very rare you would see them both having a serious conversation, it was constant witty remarks, jokes and sarcastic comments. And of course, YN was known for her bold personality and not shying away from saying exactly what she thought.

"Oi..who you calling a melon..cheeky fucker" YN playfully scolded whilst giving the pup a stroke on his head "I can get you fired yah know" Harry watched the scnce in front of him, almost like a game of tennis, just waiting to see which one would back down first.

"I'm sure you can darling..but who's going to look after your dog on tour?" YN's eyes widened, mouth opening and closing.

"Fook off!" YN eye's darted to Harry "You're lying"

"All ours baby" Harry smiled, watching Jeff pass the little pug over so YN could hold him. The whole thing made his heart melt, the way YN cradled him in her arms and tickled his little nose.

"I can't believe it" YN smiled and walked over to where Harry stood, placing her hand behind his neck to pull him to her lips. As their lips moved together, she muttered a thank you baby.

Jeff interrupted the couple, continuing to tease the Yorkshire girl "On that note..I'm gonna go before I see any tongue movement" to which YN stuck up her finger to him. Like brother, like sister - Harry thought as he pulled YN into his arms to hold her from behind.

"Bye Jeff" Harry shook his head at his girl and friend.

"Bye lovebirds"

Once Jeff had left, Harry turned so he could see the puppy still in YN's arms. "So you're happy then?"

"More than 'appy" YN smiled up at him "You're the best..you know that?"

"Oh stop..you're feeding my ego" he joked.

"What shall we name him?"

"Uh..that's up to you..name him whatever you want love"

YN looked down at the sleeping pup, names running through her mind, until she spoke "Teddy"

"Teddy..I love it" Harry complimented "Welcome home little Ted"

YN couldn't wait to FaceTime both their families to show them little Teddy. So after popping out to the shops to pick up everything the little pup needed, bed, blankets, food and of course, YN couldn't resist the sage green colour and lead.

The couple were sat on the sofa, Teddy cuddled on YN's lap, and YN's phone leaning against the ornament on the coffee table in front of them as they waited for Louis to answer. After a few rings..

"'ello Tiny..you alright?" Louis greeted "Whot the fook is that on your lap?"

"Meet Teddy" YN smiled as she lifted him so Louis could see him better.

"He's yours?"

"Yeh..Harry went to pick him today and surprised me with him"

"Fookin' 'ell Styles...you really do set the bar high don't you for every other boyfriend in the world" Louis teased.

Harry grinned as he shrugged his shoulders "Anything to see her smile"

"Well I'll pop over tomorrow to see him"

Next, they called Gemma, who picked up immediately when she saw her future sister-in-law's name.

"Hi loves" Gemma's grin was seen on the screen.

"We want you to meet someone" Harry spoke.

YN lifted Teddy up, and a big 'awwww' was heard through the speaker.

"Meet Teddy" YN told Gemma.

"I want him" Gemma confessed and she brought herself closer to the screen "I guess this is as close as I'm going to be to being an Auntie for a while?"

"Yeh..sorry Gem..I've got a clothing line to sort" YN laughed.

"When can I see my little nephew then?"

"Gem you literally live twenty minutes away" Harry stated with a chuckle and running his fingers through his hair.

"True...you need to show Mum"

"Mum already knew..she helped me buy him" Harry admitted "You know how much she loves animals..I thought at first she wasn't going to let me keep him when we went to see them"

YN's heart melted at the thought of Harry and Anne going to choose their puppy. They really had the best relationship, one that reminded her of Louis and their Mum, one she hoped for if she were to have children one day.

And last they called the Tomlinson sisters, a very chaotic call compared to the others. The four girls argued about who was going to hold the phone and then they bickered about who was going to hold Teddy first. It was safe to say Teddy was very much loved!

・・・・

liked by lottietomlinson, harrystyles, and 875,467,931 others

yntomlinson Welcome to the family Teddy💙 View all 19,316 comments

1dfan9 OMG TEDDY! 😍

YNfan He's so cute! Love his name xx

harryfan3 YN we need photos of Harry and Teddy plssssss

annetwist Precious little baby 😍💙

gemmastyles I'm officially a dog-Auntie 😎

jefezoff Should have named him Melon! ⌙ yntomlinson Leave my baby alone Jeffrey 

mitchrowland Bring the little dude to the studio ⌙ yntomlinson Only if you let me play One Direction songs ⌙ mitchrowland You do anyway? ⌙ harryfan5 YN is the biggest 1D fan, she's one of us 💞

lottietomlinson Cutest baby boy 😍 I'm in love

Tag List: (let me know if you would like to be added) @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @harrys-flower @platinumbarbie143 @frickin-bats @harrysbbyh0ney fanfictioncafe lilfreakjez jerseygirlinca iamahallucinationnn @chronicallybubbly @goldensunflowe-r  @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @kaverichauhan @peterholland04 @panicattheuc @indierockgirrl hittiesontour

[forasecondtherewedwon]

Spell Your URL in Song Titles

Thanks for the tag, @sergeantpixie 😊🩷

F - "Flight Director" - Jeff Russo (For All Mankind score)

O - "Ode to the Mets" - The Strokes

R - "Raise a Little Hell" - Trooper

A - "All Night Parking" - Adele

S - "Strangers in the Night" - Frank Sinatra

E - "Eternal Summer" - The Strokes

C - "Cold Hard Bitch" - Jet

O - "Old Fashioned" - Bruno Major

N - "Nothing Compares 2 U" - Sinéad O'Connor

D - "Don't Leave Me This Way" - Thelma Houston

T - "These Days" - Nico

H - "Harvest Moon" - Poolside

E - "Everlasting Love" - Love Affair

R - "Read My Mind" - The Killers

E - "Espresso" - Sabrina Carpenter

W - "Waterloo" - ABBA

E - "everything i wanted" - Billie Eilish

D - "Don't Speak" - No Doubt

W - "Woman" - Mumford & Sons

O - "Only Wanna Be With You" - Hootie & The Blowfish

N - "No Rain" - Blind Melon

Tagging: Anyone who'd like to do this! This is a fun one.

[zenzaaaaaaaaaaaa]

fics currently enjoying free real estate in my brain meat

BNHA -

Skydive by AriesBuenos Midoriya Izuku helps a serial killer be slightly less of a serial killer.

Residual Hope by SimplyKaren Midoriya Izuku helps a DIFFERENT serial killer be much less of a serial killer. reconcile by whatagoodegg Trapped in baby jail with a supervillain. Race against the clock to see who can radicalize who (and we’ve both had traumatic childhoods).

Apex Predator by silver jackdaw Can I get twenty more of these protective, badass, and self sacrificial little bitches.

Personality Swap AU by BelleAmant Impostor syndrome turned useful skill: the musical. BNHA/Persona 5 -

Dost Thou Even Steal Hearts? by BukuBuku Persona 5 Protagonist destroys the status quo while balancing police related trauma and the fact that God hates him. Danny Phantom/DC -

lex luthor's ascent from supervillainy to fatherhood by halfagone Jeff Bezos kinnie grows a heart raising a half-dead teenager.

Bus to Nowhere by foldingfacets Danny Phantom is homeless in Gotham, comedy ensues. DC -

in the healing of trauma by StoriesAreMagic Tim Drake gets the shit beat out of him but he's just fine babyyyyyy.

Signed Red Robin by @mediacircuspod Tim Drake tries to be a professional, ending a business relationship, much to the confusion of the family he is abandoning.

Banshee In A Well by @liverobinreaction Tim Drake can't really... die. He just also does it a lot.

How To Train Your Dragon -

A Thing Of Vikings by @athingofvikings​ 1.5 million of glorious, beautifully researched historical fantasy fiction with dragons.

Naruto/Game of Thrones -

Whirlpool Queen, Maelstrom King by cheshire_carroll Sansa Stark politics so hard she breaks ninja society a little. Owl House -

Weekend at Belos's by @watery-melon-baller So. You need to keep a regime together while hiding the leader's body (he’s your uncle) and your bird (who hates the regime) won’t stop fortnite dancing over his rotting corpse. Percy Jackson -

Constellations by liketolaugh Percy goes to therapy for suicidal thoughts and also all of the Trauma. Wildly cathartic.

Oh Yeah, No, I Totally Forgot by BlueberryLimoncello Just because Sally Jackson was abandoned by the king (of the sea) doesn't mean she has to give up on the queen (that guy's wife).

Citizens of Glass by @mrthology Turns out godhood is less of a choice and more of a duty. Star Wars -

Don't Look Back by @this-acuteneurosis Leia time travels to pre-Clone Wars times and does politics very very good.

Of Queens, Knights, and Pawns by chancecraz Leia time travels to the start of A New Hope. Complex emotions and familial relations ensue. In Which Series by Ariel_Sojourner Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker time travel to the Clone Wars and do war very very good.

Certain Point by @esamastation Obi-Wan Kenobi time travels to the Clone Wars and also does war very very good.

Civil Wars, Whistleblower Tactics... by @jackdaw-kraai Luke Sk- Sorry, Luke Lars is a very good engineer. Darth Vader approves of his new underling/adopted son. Star Wars/Assassin's Creed -

Sailing the Stars by @esamastation Desmond Miles ends up in the Clone Wars and does neutrality very very good.

[dujour13]

🌈-, ❄-, ☁️- , 🍃- -From Yunessa!

Thank you @yunessa! These were fun. A chance to ponder just how messy Siavash is.

For this OC ask game

🌈 What does this OC like and dislike about themselves?

Paradoxically what he likes and dislikes are the same thing. Another example of his contradictions (see below under clothing). He values his wanderlust and impulsivity and yet can’t bear that they hurt the people he loves.

After the rough breakup with his ex, the crusade, and finding Woljif he grows up enough to make a conscious decision to be less fickle, at least about certain things. He’s profoundly grateful for Woljif’s trust and has made up his mind never to break it. This requires constant vigilance and effort on his part. Not that he's tempted to cheat - just that he has to remind himself to remain within Woljif's gravity no matter how far afield he wanders. He'll always make his way home -and that anchor becomes much more vital to his mental health after his (secret ending). It makes it easier that he can trust Woljif to keep pace, which his ex, a fragile introvert, wasn't able to do.

❄ What is this OC’s favorite and least favorite food?

If I could cheat and make this about drink: Andoren wine and Mendevian beer, respectively.

As for food, his favorites are fresh seasonal produce like spring strawberries, late summer Andoren melon, fall chestnuts and winter oranges.

Least favorites are the preserved staples of less balmy climates than Andoran: porridge, hard tack biscuits, pickles, salt pork.

☁️ What is this OC’s clothing style like?

(I need to find new ways to describe this disaster.)

Another contradiction. An example of how Siavash both idolizes his father and needs to distance himself from him. As an artsy professional musician his father, Doran, has a natural bohemian style (he wears Jeff Ament hats) but Sia needs to take it to a new level with clashing colors and patterns and over-accessorizing – but no hats, ever. He looks like a bouquet of wildflowers.

🍃 Describe this OC in one word

I can’t choose. Here’s what made the short list:

Lark

Sunshine

Chief (derogatory)

[too-many-blorbos]

@melonsap has never seen "Independence Day" starring Will Smith and Bill Pullman and Jeff Goldblum. Should I make them watch it?

[novemberhush]

Rules: pick a song for each letter of your URL (trying not to repeat artists, if possible!) then tag as many people as there are letters in your URL to do the same.

Thanks for tagging me, @zerokrox-blog !😘

N - No Rain by Blind Melon

O - One Headlight by The Wallflowers

V - Velouria by Pixies

E - Everlong by Foo Fighters

M - Monkey 23 by The Kills

B - Because the Night by Patti Smith

E - Elephant by Damien Rice

R - Run by Morgan Wade

H - Heart of Somebody by Caroline Spence

U - Use Somebody by Kings of Leon

S - Stolen Love by Josiah and the Bonnevilles

H - Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley

I tag @smowkie @all-or-nothing-baby @mistmarauder @fireladybuckley @firemedicdiaz @caroandcats @katries @a-victorian-girl @stacinadia @jennoasis @tulipfromtheinternet @guiltypleasurefandomface and anyone else who wants to play. No pressure on anyone who doesn’t! (Also, if you have a really long URL, it’s okay not to tag that many people. No one will be mad, I promise you!)❤️

[thecookieverse]

Cookieverse: Schools

Milkyway Elementary

Known Students

Alfajor Cookie (Inez)

Apple Cookie

Apple Dodger Cookie (Ferb)

Astronaut Food Cookie (Dib Membrane)

Babosa Cookie (Tanis)

Banana Pancake Cookie (Quincy)

Basil Cookie (Buttercup)

Bell Pepper Cookie

Berry Gel Cookie (Sally)

Berry Smoothie Cookie (Keesha)

Bitter Melon Cookie (Violet)

Blackberry Pie Cookie (Schroeder)

Blue Corn Cookie (Boomer)

Blue Taro Cookie (Tim)

Blueberry Kulfi Cookie (Baljeet)

Blueberry Jam Cookie (Lucy)

Burrito Cookie (K.O.)

Candy Bone Cookie (Skid)

Candy Jack Cookie (Ralphie)

Carrot Puff Cookie (Arnold)

Cavatappi Cookie (Frieda)

Champurrado Cookie (Carlos)

Chili Dog Cookie (Hoagie P. Gilligan Jr./Numbuh 2)

Chocolate Swirl Cookie (Jimmy Neutron)

Concord Juice Cookie (Sibella)

Coney Dog Cookie (Winnie)

Cornflower Cookie (Franklin)

Cranberry Flan Cookie (Jackie)

Cream Pie Cookie (Charlotte)

Cucumber Cookie (Dendy)

Daffodil Cookie (Dorothy Ann)

Dandelion Cookie (Jimmy)

Dirt Cake Cookie (Pigpen)

Ditalini Cookie (Leo)

Farfalle Cookie (Annie)

Food Coloring Cookie (Adeleine)

Fruit Punch Cookie (PPG!Brick)

Ghost Pipe Cookie (Phantasma)

Gold Truffle Cookie (Princess Morbucks)

Gouda Cookie (Buford)

Green Bean Cookie (Phoebe)

Hokey Pokey Cookie (Wallabee Beetles/Numbuh 4)

Honeydew Cookie (Elsa Frankenteen)

Key Lime Cookie (Cyberchase!Matt)

Lemon Gel Cookie (Charlie Brown)

Marshmallow Bunny Cookie (Panini)

Matcha Choco Cookie (Kuki Sanban/Numbuh 3)

Mellowcreme Pumpkin Cookie (Pump)

Mint Cream Cookie (Peppermint Patty)

Mochi Cookie (Wanda)

Nori Cookie (Butch)

Oleander Cookie (Grim Adventures!Mandy)

Orchid Cookie (June)

Pink Lemonade Cookie (Blossom)

Pixy Powder Cookie (Timmy Turner)

Pudding Pop Cookie (Chowder)

Pumpkin Brownie Cookie (Marcie)

Raspberry Jam Cookie (Linus)

Salsa Chip Cookie (Phineas)

Salted Caramel Cookie (Abigail Lincoln/Numbuh 5)

Soda Bread Cookie (Fanny Fulbright/Numbuh 86)

Soft Serve Cookie (Funkin Dusk)

Strawberry Fool Cookie (Nigel Uno/Numbuh 1)

Sufganiyah Cookie (Isabella)

Sugar Cookie (Bubbles)

Star Jelly Cookie (Zim)

Tangelo Cookie (Billy)

Tangerine Tanghulu Cookie

Vieux Lille Cookie (Sarah)

Walnut Cookie

Former Students

Five-Layer Cookie (DCFDTL); were kidnapped and brainglazed by Black Olive Cookie (Father)

Tarator Cookie (Vendetta); Expelled for horrific bullying and her dessert monster creations hurting other students. Also the incident where she tried to take over the school on show-and-tell day. That too.

Known Faculty

Beacon Apple Cookie (Bea Spells-A-Lot, part-time tutor)

Gelatin Cookie (Edd/Double D, part-time science tutor)

Honeycrisp Apple Cookie (Ms. Frizzle, teacher)

McIntosh Red Cookie (Will Wedgewood/Wonder-Red; teacher)

Nigiri Cookie (Makoto Nijima, part-time tutor)

Orange Pippin Cookie (Ms. Keene, teacher)

Sucrose Junior High

Known Students

Apple Pie Cookie (Paula Polestar)

Beacon Apple Cookie (Bea Spells-A-Lot)

Blueberry Churro Cookie (Frida Suarez)

Bratwurst Cookie (Rolf)

Camembert Cookie (Ed)

Candy Jewel Cookie (Jewel Sparkles)

Caprese Salad Cookie (Kevin)

Chocolate Truffle Cookie (Trixie Carter)

Circus Peanut Cookie (Peanut Big Top)

Custard Doughnut Cookie (Jeff Andonuts)

Ergot Cookie (Hotaru Tomoe/Sailor Saturn)

Fish Stick Cookie (Lee Kanker)

Garlic Cookie (EW!Dawn)

Gelatin Cookie (Edd/Double D)

Granola Cookie (Jonny)

Grape Jam Cookie (Mabel)

Gum Scrap Cookie (Ness)

Jawbreaker Cookie (Eddy)

Lanatus Dragon Cookie (Jake Long)

Lemon Swirl Cookie (Lucas)

Limburger Cookie (May Kanker)

Mashed Potato Cookie (Marie Kanker)

Orange Swirl Cookie (Claus)

Passion Fruit Cookie (Nazz)

Peanut Butter Cookie (Dipper)

Pork Rind Cookie (Porky Minch)

Prickly Pear Cookie (Kumatora)

Rocket Pop Cookie (Dot Starlight)

Russet Potato Cookie (Arthur “Spud” Spudinski)

Spaghetti Marinara Cookie (Spot Splatter Splash)

Sprinkle Cookie (Crumbs Sugar Cookie)

Valerian Cookie (Pillow Featherbed)

Whipped Cocoa Cookie (Mittens Fluff 'N' Stuff)

White Truffle Cookie (Pacifica Northwest)

Yellow Lily Cookie (Rose)

Fructose High School

Known Students

Ackee Fruit Cookie (Monika)

Apple Cider Cookie (Applejack)

Beef Bowl Cookie (Yu Narukami)

Berry Soda Cookie (Ami Mizuno/Sailor Mercury)

Blackberry Cheesecake Cookie (Totally Spies!Mandy)

Black Currant Cookie (Raven)

Black Rose Cookie (Sam Manson)

Buffalo Sauce Cookie (Randy Cunningham)

California Roll Cookie (Naoto Shirogane)

Candy Ring Cookie (Rarity)

Chamomile Cookie (Yuri)

Chocolate Crepe Cookie (Ann Takamaki)

Clam Cookie (Cyborg)

Confetti Cake Cookie (Pinkie Pie)

Cordyceps Cookie (Shawn)

Coriander Cookie (Starfire)

Creme Sandwich Cookie (Danny Fenton/Phantom)

Curly Fry Cookie (Howard Weinerman)

Curry Cookie (Futaba Sakura)

Gala Apple Cookie (Sammy)

Gateau Cookie (Vanessa)

Gummy Fish Cookie (Lagoona Blue)

Haricot Vert Cookie (Jean-Sebastian Renault/Wonder-Green)

Hero Cookie

Jelly Worm Cookie (Ghoulia Yelps)

Kale Cookie (Robin)

Katsu Sando Cookie (Akira Kurusu/Joker)

Kumquat Cookie (Leshawna)

Lemon Mint Cookie (Frankie Stein)

Marshmallow Pie Cookie (Usagi Tsukino/Sailor Moon)

Manju Cookie (Yukiko Amagi)

Meat Bun Cookie (Ryuji Sakamoto)

Melopita Cookie (Cleo de Nile)

MRE Cookie (TD!Brick)

Myrtle Cookie (Minako Aino/Sailor Venus)

Nanaimo Bar Cookie (Owen)

Nigiri Cookie (Makoto Nijima)

Orange Blossom Cookie (Zoey)

Orange Creme Cookie (Jasmine “Jazz” Fenton)

Orzo Cookie (Mike)

Pansy Cookie (Fluttershy)

Papanași Cookie (Mariana Kretzulesco/Wonder-Pink)

Pepperoni Pizza Cookie (Geoff)

Pink Licorice Cookie (Draculaura)

Pizza Cookie

Pizza Pocket Cookie (Total Drama!Sam)

Poppy Seed Cookie (Clover)

Potato Stew Cookie (Yosuke Hanamura)

Protein Bar Cookie (Tyler)

Purple Tea Cookie (Sierra)

Red Delicious Cookie (Amy)

Ruby Choco Cookie (Sayori)

Salsa Cookie (Candace)

Samosa Cookie (Noah)

Sandwich Cookie

Seaweed Brownie Cookie (Bridgette)

Shaved Ice Cookie (Abbey Bominable)

Sour Straw Cookie (Tucker Foley)

Some Total Drama contestants (Excluding Biscuit Cookie/Ezekiel, obviously.)

Sports Drink Cookie (Rainbow Dash)

Steak Cookie (Chie Satonaka)

Strawberry Cupcake Cookie (Natsuki)

Tin Cookie (Makoto Kino/Sailor Jupiter)

Toaster Tart Cookie (Harold)

Tofu Cookie (Beast Boy)

Vegemite Cookie (TD!Jasmine)

Veggie Chip Cookie (Totally Spies!Sam)

Vichyssoise Cookie (Rise Kujikawa)

Watermelon Snake Cookie (Deuce Gorgon)

Wolfsbane Cookie (Clawdeen Wolf)

Wonton Cookie (Alex)

Yakitori Cookie (Kanji Tatsumi)

Former Students

Cobalt Cookie (Scarlett; Expelled after it was discovered that she was trying to recruit students to the Cookies of Darkness)

Dagwood Sandwich Cookie (Norville “Shaggy” Rogers; graduated)

Deviled Egg Cookie (Fred Jones; graduated)

Sweet Potato Cookie (Velma Dinkley; graduated)

Toxic Sludge Cookie (Izzy; expelled due to her crazy antics)

Patisserie Academy

A high-end private high school.

Known Students

Buttered Pancake Cookie (Goro Akechi)

Champagne Cookie (Mitsuru Kirijo)

Chicken Salad Cookie (Haruka Tenou/Sailor Uranus)

Coffee Crisp Cookie (Cody)

Fruit Salad Cookie (Haru Okumura)

Galette Cookie (Lindsay)

Jagariko Cookie (Yusuke Kitagawa)

Loco Moco Cookie (Justin)

Rose Water Cookie (Senpai/Kenji Sakubara)

Saba Sashimi Cookie (Michiru Kaiou/Sailor Neptune)

Saffron Cookie (Alejandro)

Sashimi Cookie (Heather)

Tuxedo Cake Cookie (Mamoru Chiba/Tuxedo Mask)

Watercress Cookie (Dakota)

Former Students

Blueberry Cheesecake Cookie (Daphne Blake; graduated)

Sugarcane Academy

A university/college

Known Students

Black Rice Cookie (Krishna Ramanujon/Wonder Black)

Blackthorn Cookie (Faith Fernandez)

Blueberry Tart Cookie (Vicky Schmidt)

Calla Lily Cookie (Joy Johnson-Johijima)

Cherry Pepper Cookie (Amira Rashid)

Cypress Cookie (Setsuna Meiou/Sailor Pluto)

Elderberry Cookie (Oz)

Filius Blue Cookie (Dahlia Aquino)

Ghost Pepper Cookie (Damien LeVey)

Gummy Hoop Cookie (Gogo)

Henbane Cookie (Hope Halko)

Ikasumi Pasta Cookie (Zoe)

Keema Cookie (Aaravi Mishra)

Maki Roll Cookie (Hiro Hamada)

Potato Chip Cookie (Scott Howl)

Purple Kale Cookie (Liam de Lioncourt)

Rafflesia Cookie (Brian Yu)

Saltwater Taffy Cookie (Miranda Vanderbilt)

Sour Snake Cookie (Vera Oberlin)

Taco Cookie (Fred Frederickson IV)

Vodka Cookie (Polly Geist)

Yuzu Cookie (Honey Lemon)

Zucchini Cookie (Wasabi)

Former Students

Slushie Cookie (Boyfriend/Jacob; Dropped out)

Parfaedia Institute

An all-ages magic school set in the city of Parfaedia

Known Students

Acai Cookie (Twilight Sparkle)

Bay Laurel Cookie (TD!Dawn)

Clerodendrum Cookie (Musa)

Coralline Algae Cookie (Tecna)

Cream Puff Cookie

Fruity Puff Cookie (Leonard)

Nasturtium Cookie (Bloom)

Prune Juice Cookie

Sunflower Cookie (Stella)

Tulip Cookie (Flora)

Water Lily Cookie (Aisha)

Known Faculty

Almond Cookie (Preventing Magical Accidents & Mishaps professor)

Capricious Wizard (Substitute Teacher)

Eclair Cookie (History professor)

Espresso Cookie (Theorems of Coffee Magic professor)

Latte Cookie (Entry-Level Magic Circles professor)

Parfaedia Principal (Principal)

Former Students

Ackee Fruit Cookie (Monika, transferred to Fructose High)

Honeycrisp Apple Cookie (Ms. Frizzle, graduated)

Mistletoe Cookie (Icy, expelled)

Nightshade Cookie (Darcy, dropped out)

Prune Cookie (Yzma; graduated… Somehow… in her youth)

Zephyr Lily Cookie (Stormy, dropped out)

Scovilla

An all-ages school situated in Dragon's Valley

Known Students

Capsaicin Cookie 

Jalapeño Cookie (Duncan)

Kimchi Cookie (Scott)

Known Faculty

Scovillia Headmaster (Headmaster)

Former Students

Mala Sauce Cookie (Graduated)

Buffalo Sauce Cookie (Randy Cunningham; transferred to Fructose High)

Sriracha Cookie (Chef Hatchet; Graduated)

Creme Knights Academy

A paladin/knight school situated in the Creme Republic

Known Students

Kouign-Amann Cookie

Known Faculty

Creme Knights Preceptor (Premier)

Former Students

Financier Cookie (Graduated)

Madeleine Cookie (Graduated)

MRE Cookie (TD!Brick; Transferred to Fructose High due to being bullied for his fear of the dark)

Snowbell Academy

An academy for cookies who wish to become holiday cookies

Known Students

Stollen Cookie

Strawberry Cream Cookie

[jazzyinspace]

🍎🍑🍈🍏

Thank you so much, @responderschief 💙

🍎 [RED APPLE] Who does your OC value above all else?

Emily 💚

And not just because she saved his life, although that is a pretty important detail all things considered.

She was around Jeff from the beginning, becoming one part of the original trio that bravely explored the unfamiliar version of his home. Not only did she heal his physical wounds, but she also helped to heal the hurt that Jeff carried in his heart, too.

@jonnyonearth and I talked about their relationship recently. In his words, Jeff is her Jeff in conversation. She adores him on a level that Jeff may not even be aware of.

When Emily decided to move her clinic from down the road where the Wayward now stands to the Crater, it did cause a bit of a rift in their circle. Emily is a Raider now. Jeff was hurt by this initially and while it took some time to trust her choice, he did in part because…that's his Emily. 💚

…And let's not forget the wedding bands that they both carry.

🍑 [PEACH] How do they show their kindness? How kind are they truly?

Jeff is extremely kind 💙

I've mentioned in a previous ask how he shows his love/appreciation through acts of kindness/service. He's almost always willing to help regardless of how he's being treated.

I feel like this tends to frustrate those close to him, who have told Jeff numerous times that he needs to stand up for himself more. It's not uncommon for him to be taken advantage of.

Of course, even Jeff has a breaking point. While he is quick to lend a helping hand to anyone, he won't stand for bullying/mistreatment of anyone, let alone his loved ones.

I've had a scenario in my head where Jeff is a bit out of character, but only because someone dear to him is in serious trouble. A routine trip through Big Bend Tunnel becomes even more dangerous and Jeff is left with blood on his hands.

(I'm not sure if I will ever share that here as a story, but I'm okay with talking about it 💜)

🍈 [MELON] If they had to be put into a box, what box would it be and why?

This one.

Seriously, though–

📦 Caravan Guard: After initially taking on part-time work with the Blue Ridge Caravan Company years ago, Jeff decided to uproot his life in the Forest and take a one-way trip down to the Bog where he still resides today. I don't want to say that being a caravan guard is his entire identity, but he has a lot of pride in what he and his friends/co-workers do.

📦 Cryptid Whisperer (not hunter): Jeff grew up hearing the stories of these friend-shaped beings, and it means everything to him that they believe in him too. Having someone in his life like Aries definitely inspires Jeff to continue his search. Just imagine the stories they share with each other 💙

🍏 [GREEN APPLE] How do they differ from the norm and how are they punished for it?

When Ralph arrived at Stone Observatory two years ago, Jeff's entire world changed.

The seemingly kind stranger admired the camp that Jeff and his companion at time, Sophia, had put together. The group chatted together over coffee and Ralph shared his story. Jeff understood what it was like to be someone who traveled a long way from home, without any home to return to.

So, Jeff offered the shed on his property as a place to stay, which was a storage space/workshop at the time. Ralph gratefully accepted. What Jeff didn't realize is that Ralph was very far from home; also, what did that strange door lead to and where did it come from?

The whole underground lab and the shape-shifting neighbor, Ralph, is something that I would still consider being a bit outside of the norm, even with how strange the Fallout universe can be at times.

Jeff is often punished for this through the various experiments conducted on him (not all are consenting), the trials/challenges that he faces when Ralph sends him to another time/universe, and how he isn't allowed to say a word about any of this.

Of course, some details have slipped out here and there, but I imagine that all of the above is hard to believe for most of his new friends and allies.

Krieg knows about all of this far more than most, but I'll let Jon tell that story whenever he's ready ❤️

Other than Krieg, Emily and Aries are waiting for Jeff to finally open up about everything. Aries especially has seen some things and I have a feeling he's a bit suspicious/paranoid about Ralph.

And I have yet to really think about this, but Jeff is about to meet his new friend MacCready in the Commonwealth who also happens to be Mayor MacCready in the Capital Wasteland...💫

OC Interview Questions 💜

[aeternallis]

thank you so much for the meta you wrote about kim's fight in yok's bar, i feel like i really needed to read that the news today about jeff satur leaving BOC ;_; if you don't mind, some words of comfort would be really appreciated

You're very much welcome bby, I'm happy to have provided you with something to cheer you up~ For what it's worth, I only recently got into KinnPorsche (3 months ago), so I have more metas (and fics!) I wanna write for KimChay!

As for Jeff leaving BOC, please don't let it get to you too much, my dear. He's leaving to do bigger and better things, yknow? Endings and partings are always hard, but it doesn't mean there's no hope for the future. Jeff and Barcode are still friends, they still have Wuju Bakery together, they have an event coming up this week XD, and even when they move on after Wuju Bakery, KimChay and the AlienBaker will still be here.

Personally for me, I still have hope for a season 2 of KinnPorsche. The story is far from over, and BOC/Pond knows that it's too big of a series to just let it end on one season. But if they ultimately leave it at that, then that's okay too (I'll accept that in due time). If we ever do get a season 2 however, I hope sincerely that Jeff will be willing to take on the role of Kim once more; same for Barcode and Porchay.

Having said this, KinnPorsche is definitely a series that can benefit from a time skip, lol Both within the narrative and in real time. This series has so much emotional baggage attached to it that tbh, I'm very much relieved the WT is finally over. This way, hopefully the emotional roller coaster of RL drama with the BOC actors can die down.

Like for reals, I've only been in this fandom 3 months, and I feel like it's already aged me 5 years, what with the Build/Poi drama, the drama from last year that I'm only finding out about now, Jeff's news today, etc. LOL

As fans, we can finally let KinnPorsche simmer in our heads and just engage with the story and the characters, yknow? We need this time to just let ourselves enjoy the story AWAY from the general spotlight and without the pressure of having to keep up with news or latest developments with the actors and all those other melons dfhkfefehfjks

So get some rest, dear nonnie, wherever you may be! Log off if you have to, go ahead and cry as much as you want to let it all out. It's not the end of the world, and tomorrow will be a new day.

[adirtnap]

ty blot @blotthis! (@pokemonsnapback and @bnnui and @princeoflemons for u if u feel like it, list ten songs you are vibing with)

playlist link

songlist below the cut

No Rain - Blind Melon i've been doing a themed "one song a day" list with friends, and every dang time there's a "song from X0s decade" prompt i've tried to add this song before looking up when it's from you can't tell me this kind of heartbreak isn't historical fucked up that someone could have written this, could have felt THIS kind of way when i was even a tiny bit alive this kind of heartbreak should have been kept to the 1960s please

Please Don't Bury Me - John Prine i've heard most every john prine song there is, i bet, but i keep finding them again, ones i've heard before, and it's like i've never listened at all. john prine is the most funny musician there has ever been probably. this song is so fucking good

(Sk)A-Punk - Skatune Network, Jeff Rosenstock it's skatune network!! with jeff rosenstock!!!

Ruler of Everything - Tally Hall i found this from a bocchi the rock amv and. it is a song that feels like it sprang from the concept of "a song that would be in an AMV"? this song could have been written by worthikids or it could have been in a 2009 fmab edit or it might be from magical mystery tour era beatles. it's also a bop

My Girlfriend's On Drugs - Big D and the Kid's Table MY GIRLFRIEND'S ON DRUGSSSSSSS MY GIRLFRIEND'S ON DRUGSSSSSSS

Blue Monk - Thelonious Monk just make art for yourself. just for yourself

Dilemma - Nelly i just broke up with someone and it turns out that my breakup music is nelly?? like i have been BLASTING this not what i would have picked but hey the heart wants what it wants. my barber reallllly made fun of me for this

A Better Son/Daughter - Rilo Kiley my friend put this on a playlist last year and it IMMEDIATELY went on my "songs that will definitely make me cry in public" playlist. (a surprise upset "most cried to this year" victory over kimya dawson!) i WISH I KNEW ABOUT THIS SONG SOONER this song would have shaped my teenage years?? this song is retroactively shaping my past into that better universe where i screamed this song every night every night every night but i will make up for it now AND SOMETIMES WHEN YOU'RE ON, YOU'RE REALLY FUCKING ON, AND YOUR FRIENDS THEY SING ALONGG AND THEY LOVE YOUUUUU BUT THE LOWS ARE SO EXTREME THAT THE GOOD SEEMS FUCKING CHEAP AND IT TEASES YOU FOR WEEKS IN ITS ABSENCE

Runnin Back (Gettin Fat) - Gucci Mane no one does it like gucci. i wish more people did it like gucci. there's a part of this song in my heart at all times since 2011

All the Small Things - GFOTY sometimes people make the sounds inside your head go to the outside and then put them back in your ears for u. usually this is SOPHIE but in this case it is Girl Friend Of The Year

[tuturuue]

So about call me by fire (Jeff why)

These are some incoherent thoughts (read: rants) as someone who's been watching chinese entertainment (c-ent) stuff for a while, including sisters who make waves (the OG series before the CMBF spin-off).

Mgtv is a fucking mess with ridiculous rigging. Rumors of contracts being signed for the number of eps they appear on were more or less confirmed by accident on the last Waves season lmao

Mgtv is 100% gonna make jeff cry and I'm gonna 🗡

We call em 狗芒 for a reason

Also they don't understand popularity and fan faves and just axe people lmao (liu lian my love I'm so sorry)

So basically what I'm saying is keep your expectations to a 0.

Jeff why 😭 but am I still gonna watch the cuts with Jeff? Yes. Because mgtv knows how to cast people. Him, bo yuan and victor ma all made it to round 2 based on melons (rumors).

[valician]

The third and final playlist for The 90's Kid. From wistful and nostalgic to loud and fun, it features a range of songs from the 1980s to 2000, alluding to the story's detour into 2020 that connects past with present, as a summery vibe flows throughout.��This one has 18 songs that fit the story's narrative well.

CD Mix Page

The music:

Mercury Rev - Holes

Guns N' Roses - Sweet Child O' Mine

Supergrass - Alright

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Under the Bridge

Blind Melon - No Rain

DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince - Summertime

Radiohead - How to Disappear Completely

Alanis Morissette - Perfect

Cher - If I Could Turn Back Time

Metallica - For Whom the Bell Tolls

Ramones - I Don't Want to Grow Up

Sonic Youth - Unwind

Sugar Ray - Glory

R.E.M. - Leave

Oasis - Champagne Supernova

Foo Fighters - February Stars

Filter - Take a Picture