#jem & tessa & mina deserved better

[lislgtwd]

forever fallen is my greatest (and most devastating) roman empire. that's the post.

[tetsunabouquet]

Heir To The Lands Chapter 49

Painful Revelations Masterpost

Yet another emergency meeting at the Lightwood-Bane residence ensued after Mark's message, which is why this time, aside from the usual gang, Cristina and Mark were also present. Both Cristina and Magnus seemed paler from the shock and stress of what the situation implied. Mark went into depth with the details for Jace, Clary, Isabelle and Simon who weren't up to date with the news yet, explaining how Kieran had dared to go into the Mortal world to warn them that the Seelie Court knights had been killing the Unseelie faeries who had been protecting the Idris border so the Cohort could not leave. "So does this mean we're going to hae to deal with the Cohort again?" Clary questioned, her green eyes concerned. "The better question is, does this mean the Seelie Court has alligned itself with the Cohort?" Simon said, swallowing his anxious thoughts. "It appears so, but don't they hate Downworlders?" Isabelle responded, feeling quite confused. "They do, but if it were up to people like Manuel, he would side with the Seelie Court and the Princes of Hell any day to save his own skin." Jace pointed out, and Alec nodded at his parabatai. "That was exactly what I was thinking. It seems like too big of a coincidende with my documents getting stolen and then this happening so shortly after it. Clearly the thief is an ally of the Seelie Court." Cristina and Mark looked at each other for a long time, clearly knowing something the weren't sure how to tell. "What aren't you telling us?" Alec asked, and Mark took a deep breath. "About two days ago, we spoke to Elliot," Cristina replied and almost everyone's brows shot up, wondering what on earth Elliot of all people could have said that was actually useful. "Apparantly, Lily was acting strange the night before the documents were stolen, and she was absent for hours from the Hotel on the night the Clave documents got stolen." Isabelle and Simon's jaws dropped in unison whilst Clary who just took a sip of water did a spittake. Alec shook his head in disbelief, "Lily? On the side of the Cohort?" Magnus took a long minute of thinking, and then said, "We should talk to Lily, just to be sure. If she is involved, then I bet someone manipulated Lily into doing it. She might be the leader of the vampires, but I remember her with Camille as well as Raphael. She is not immune to manipulation or being soft to unexpected people." Alec took a long, deep breath before he reached for his phone and dialled Lily's number.

Inside of Dimmet Tarn, panic was escalating. Tavi was currently sitting with Dru in her bedroom, both of them attended by Thais as Tavi took in the fact her entire family had been massacred. Downstairs, Tessa was racing through a couple of books she had with her from the Spiral Labyrinth, trying to investigate how Livvy and Jeroen's spirits had been poisoned by their trip to Idris. She was betting it was her father's doing, or rather the demon who had replaced her father. After having to be the ghost translator, Kit went back to Ty's side, trying not to be too annoyed with the fact Anush followed right behind them. Laura, Zeynep and Tomas had taken to doing anything Jem asked them do whilst little Gwynneth had decided to be Mina's babysitter for the time being. Jem hadn't been too particularly enthusiastic about it, especially not after she had planted a faerie tree in their backyard without their permission or the incident with Madame Hawthorne, but Gwynneth was harmless and they were currently too busy with researching and strenghtening the wards knowing that Ash Morgenstern knew where they lived to be capable of entertaining the little girl and keeping her out of the drama. In the meantime, Jaime couldn't help but feel worried about Dru and the revelation Ash Morgenstern apparantly had a thing for her. Jaime had always felt confused about Dru, but he knew one thing and that was that she deserved better then a stalker clutching to her for just one normal conversation from years ago, that's for sure.

[jamescarstairs]

so the jessa part of that novella was only like 4 pages long okay

[imherongraystairstrash]

If life was good, the next sobh would be: Tessa to James

Dear Jamie,

How are you, my darling son? It feels like just yesterday you were in my arms for the first time. Just yesterday I was watching you laugh as you sat on your father's shoulders while he ran across the rolling hills of Idris, or seeing you come back from the academy, with your shy smile and your eyes full of regret.

Regret for what, I'll never know Jamie. I have always loved you and I always will. Even after all of these years, the mere thought of you brings tears to my eyes because I can never hold you in my arms again. I'm crying right now, as a matter a fact, and I don't think I'll be able to stop for a while. I love you so much James and I love Lucie just as much. You never had to feel guilty, and yet you carried it with you for so long.

If there's one thing in my life I would change, it's how much you suffered. My bach, even now I hate that I knew there was something strange about your moods, and yet I never intervened. You never deserved al that you endured, with my father, that bracelet, with Matthew.

Perhaps that's why I couldn't breath when Kit came in with your old gun today. Part of me wanted to grab it and caress it, knowing that your very hands (your father's hands) had touched it all those years ago, another part of me wanted to throw it into Thames where it may never be seen again. Kit, your half brother, didn't know any better and I feel I may have caused him to feel hurt, which I hate myself for. But I can't deny that protecting Mina was the first thing that came to mind, protecting Mina the way I couldn't protect you.

Seeing that gun stirred many emotions I tried to keep buried deep inside me. Saying Christopher's name hurt because it made me think of him which made me think of the four of you, the merry thieves, stirring up trouble. It made me think of you, Matthew and Lucie, all sitting together in the parlor, arguing over things I can't possibly remember. Watching you all dance at balls, I miss it all. I miss it all so much, it hurts my heart. I wouldn't trade what I have with Jem, Kit and Mina for the world, but I doesn't mean I still don't long to see you all again.

...

It's too late for my to be writing this, I should be writing requests not Tessa angst, but I just love her so much

Tagging: @tsccreatorsnet  @atla-lok143  @rinadragomir  @youngreckless  @autumnangel20  @julemmaes @cupcakesandkittens  @no-scones-allowed  @ninacarstairss  @stxr-thxif   @icouldnotask @jordeliasupremacy  @cordelia-cardale  @will-effing-herondale  @axoloteca @heronstairs2014 @ilovemanicures @ti-bae-rius @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @readersconfessions812 @nightshade3465 @livvyheronstairs @zemiraa @proudtobealuthor @neurogliadudette @theenchanteddreamer @cheeseandmacarons @shadowhunting-hoolingans @writeordie-4 @amchara @myangelbach @livingformyself @dancing-under-the-moon @julescarstairs @wouldyouknowmeblind @grace-lightwoodd @livingformyself @ilikebooksandtvshows

[munzs-stuff]

sad things

Nothing made sense to Magnus anymore. Not the steady sky, not the ground beneath his feet, and definitely not whatever Catarina was saying to comfort him right now. His eyes hurt from the crying. He’d tried so hard not to. His Alexander wouldn’t have liked that. But he couldn’t help it. Because he was gone.

He was gone. He was gone. He was gone.

What magnus would do to see those blue, blue eyes that had never managed to fade no matter Alec’s age through the years. What he’d do to hold his hands again. What he’d do to hear his voice again. It was all gone. Magnus had lost his everything.

“Magnus. Look at me. You knew this was coming. We all did,” Catarina coaxed, her voice soft.

Magnus looked up at her, tears once agains spilling relentlessly down his cheeks. He knew he had to be strong for Rafe and Max. His little boys. But right now he couldn’t. He couldn’t even look at the mirror. All he could do was let the tears spill and feel his heart break into pieces more and more every passing second.

Such was the curse of being immortal.

~

Tessa wasn’t sure if she should be used to this yet. One one hand, she’d been doing this for decades. On the other hand Jem was dead. Her James. The love of her life. Her eyes were dry, but she was sure that if someone were to cut her open right now, they’d see that her heart was shattered in pieces.

Did she deserve this? Did she deserve to lose loved one after loved one? She knew it was coming. Jem wasn’t immortal. He had a prolonged life, yes, but not unending. She pressed her eyes close, her fist closing around her jade necklace. The jade necklace. The one Jem had gifted to her so many years ago. The first tear slipped down her cheek.

The two of them had already outlived her Mina. SHe remembered that night, the two of them holding either hands of their precious little girl as she took her last breath. SHe remembered Emma’s voice breaking up with sobs as she told Tessa that Kit had died an honourable death in battle.

Honour. That’s all life was for Shadowhunters. Of course no one knew better than her. She’d been living around Shadowhunters since she was sixteen. Now she was almost 350 years old. Her heart contracted in grief.

She was sobbing now. Holding onto Jem’s cold, still, wrinkled hand as Silent Brothers prepared to take his body to the Silent City as Magnus gripped her shoulder weakly, a look of intense pain in his eyes. They’d known each other for so long. “I hope it’s a long time before you have to call me again,” they’d said to each other. It was a long time, of course. It’s just that it never felt like long enough. Not with Will, not with James and Lucie, not with Mina and Kit, and not with Jem.

Magnus had felt his own pain too. Some decades ago. She remembered how hollow he looked, how completely devoid of any life. She pondered over if she looked the same now.

“Wǒ ài nǐ.”

Such was the curse of being immortal.

~

Mark gripped Kieran’s hand with the force of a thousand cannons. He’d grown old now, only in body of course. He was still his Mark. His Mark who would still get that confused look on his face all the time, the same Mark who was absolutely hopeless in the kitchen, the same Mark that saved him when he was in the Wild Hunt. They’d saved each other then. They would do it again.

That time it was them holding onto the very essence of each other, not letting each other forget themselves. This time they’d remember Cristina. Their Queen of Roses. Cristina, their saviour. Cristina, the woman that they’d spent most of their lives loving.

Now she was gone. Never to be seen again. Never to be touched again. Death was a foreign concept to faeries. Now that there was no war, faeries were back to living their immortal lives. Not to Keiran though. He watched on as the loves of his life became aged and withered with every passing year that felt like the blink of an eye.

Such was the curse of being immortal.

[toka-sketch]

Finished a new fanart 😊

This time it's the Herongraystairs family! 😆 Because apparently I'm a big supporter of this family and I just want them to have a good time! They deserve this. So have fun with papa Jem and baby girl Mina spending quality time together with Tessa and Kit in the background 😊😊😊

Also I lowkey want to climb into my own drawing... I miss the ocean 😔

(Still working on my background skills 😅)

@cassandraclare

Tap for better quality.

[rinadragomir]

Fairstairs is better than Jordelia

Sizzy is the second-best ship in TSC after Herongraystairs

Thomas is the most boring character ever but Thomastair is good

Matthew doesn't deserve the hate he gets from the fandom

Clary is actually a better female protagonist than Emma

What Happened in Peru was lame after all that buildup

I thought The Voicemail of Magnus Bane was uncomfortably pushy

The sobh ghost is Will because I love the crack material that would give my brain and no one can change my mind, not even CC herself.

I think Magnus or Clary will die at the end of TWP to symbolize the end of the series (Clary introduced us to the Shadow World and it ends with her, and Magnus is like Uatu the Watcher for TSC- he's in every series so no Magnus=no more series) and I low key want it to happen because I want to see the drama in the fandom *evil laughter*

I am now running to Antarctica

And oh- I almost forgot- GwynxDiana was better than any other ship in TDA except maybe KitTy.

I think even Antarctica won't save me from the Blackstairs fans now

I SAID UNPOPULAR OPINION, BUT NOT THIS UNPOPULAR aaaaaaaaa my eyes

I ship Jordelia way too hard for this shit😤But I can't disagree with Fairstairs having some chemistry. They could be amazing parabatai THAT IS UNPOPULAR opinion. I think Cordelia actually has some feeling for Matthew, but she's too used to be in love with James to acknowledge them. Ugh i really hate all this love triangle situation and i feel awful for James.😒

Best or not but Sizzy is one of the most realistic ships. Their relationship isn't too dramatic and they know how to talk about their problems☝️

😱😦😮😧😯😲😳🤯okay, all i can say that Cassie gave him almost 0 pages. And we don't know much about him. We have some cute facts on his wiki page but we don't see them in books. We actually, as a fandom, created Thomas and Thomastair. Like..... Thomastair have literally one page in choi...... it's well written but obviously not enough.....

Everyone knows I'm not a Matthew fan, but he doesn't deserve HATE, just a bit of healthy criticism👉👈hehehe OKAY OKAY I KNOW HE'S A COMPLEX CHARACTER AND LOTS OF YOU CAN RELATE WITH HIM, I just hate the way Cassie depicts him in chain of iron. She could have done a much better job👈 That's a fact!

I agree

I don't remember what happened in Peru😭

Oh🥺 maybe its a problem of not enough pages.... I think...... I loved it

NOT WILL LIVING IN THAT DIRTY HOLE

Maybe Magnus will die. Or Tessa and Jem. I can actually see Cassie doing this. She sais that someone from TMI gonna die right? I might remember sth wrong. These 3 were part of tmi🤔 but at the same time NOT KIT, MINA, RAF AND MAX, CASSIE DON'T DO THIS TO THEM

RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN

I loved Diana but not Gwyn. Their relationship was pure and amazing, but Gwyn is not a well written character.

MEOW 🌼✨💕

[thechangeling]

She burns like rum on a fire

Why did I do this to myself ughhhhh?

So @adoravel-fenomeno and I were talking about Kit potentially getting into an abusive relationship given that he's statistically likely too given his roots. So now I give you this fic! Sorry. Kit is using he/him in this fic because he hasn't really gone on his gender quest yet.

The title is from Cherry Wine by Hozier. I reccomend you listen to Cherry Wine and Trauma by NF while reading this.

Cw: Mentions of physical and verbal abuse, abusive, controlling behavior, negative self talk and extreme denial. Also brief mention of blood.

2013

Don't cry.

Don't cry Kit told himself over and over inside his head as he tried to get a hold of his breathing. As he lay on his bed at 2 in the morning, desperately refreshing his conversation with Autumn.

Autumn or as his best friend Janessa liked to call her "the virus" was Kit's girlfriend. His very first. A mundane with the sight. They had been dating for a few months now. When they had first gotten together everything was amazing, it so it seemed.

They had some much in common and they had fun together. Autumn was hot, funny and charasmatic. She had this way of making him feel like the only person in the room. She showered him with gifts and complements that made Kit finally feel worthy for the first time in his life.

But as time went on things shifted. Autumn insisted on spending almost ever waking second with him. Kit didn't mind at first, he loved hanging out with her. But he missed his parents and his sister, and he knew they missed him too. Whenever they had family movie night, or they wanted Kit to watch Mina, Autumn threw a fit. She insisted that he was ignoring her.

She didn't want him seeing Janessa either, or Nessie as Kit called her for short. Autumn always insisted that she was plotting to steal Kit away from her, which was ridiculous but nothing could change Autumn's mind when she was in a mood. So Kit had found himself blowing Nessie off to hang out with Autumn and making excuses for it.

Kit always felt super guilty for making Autumn so upset. He tried to get out of his agreements if it to stop her from crying but sometimes Tessa and Jem wouldn't let him. It was frustrating when they didn't understand. She would rage for awhile, calling Kit stupid and worthless. Sometimes she would make comments about him being adopted, telling him that Tessa and Jem didn't really love him and they only saw him as a free babysitter for their real child.

She would make jokes about all kinds of things. How Kit wasn't a real shadowhunter, his weight, his past, his bisexuality, his ADHD. Kit knew that Autimn didn't really mean anything by it. It was nothing personal and she didn't really mean it. She loved him. And he loved her.

Tonight had been different though. His grades had taken a turn for the worst because he had been blowing of the tutoring sessions the school had payed for as a part of his accommodations. Because he had been spending that time with Autumn. Kit knew it was a bad idea to miss those, but his girlfriend needed him. She didn't have anybody else. She couldn't count on her parents like he could, and she didn't really have any friends.

But Kit was in big trouble. Tessa and Jem were mad. The school was mad. People were saying that Kit was ungrateful.

Ah yes because every disabled person should just bend down and kiss the feet of every person that deigns to give them what they're legally entitled to.

But Kit knew that he had really screwed up this time. He tried to explain to Autumn that he couldn't see her as often as he used to anymore because he needed to fix his grades. And she absolutely lost it. Which he had been expecting.

However what Kit hadn't been expecting this time was for her to hit him.

And she hit him hard. Punched him straight in the nose. And sure it wasn't that big of a deal. Kit was a shadowhunter and he was pretty much used to being hit. But he hadn't been expecting it.

And there was just so much blood.

Autumn of course instantly apologized profusely. She kissed him over and over and told him that she loved him and she didn't mean to. And Kit knew she was telling the truth but-

But he still felt a sinking feeling in his chest that he couldn't explain.

But Kit had applied an iratze, wiped off the blood, and now everything was as good as new. When he had arrived back home, his parents had noticed anything or asked him any questions.

Now he was lying awake at 2 in the morning, filled with guilt and worry as he waited for Autumn to text him back. He gnawed on his bottom lip anxiously as he tried not to over think things.

Maybe she was still mad at him? Was there something else Kit was supposed to say or do? Or maybe he should just leave her alone for awhile?

It was maddening.

Kit turned off his phone and threw it down in frustration, pulling his giant red and black flannel over his shoulders and curling in on himself. He felt strangely exhausted, but unable to sleep. His nose and left eye socket still throbbed a little despite the fact that they should be healed.

Kit thought about using another iratze but his steele was across the room and he couldn't bring himself to stand up to go get it.

God he really was pathetic. Maybe he deserved this. Tears welled up in Kit's eyes.

Don't cry. Don't cry.

This time Kit couldn't hold it back. So he let himself cry. Tears came streaming down his cheeks as he tried to muffle his sobs with his hand. Deep down he knew it was his fault. It was always his fault.

But with Autumn he had really tried. Sure he wasn't perfect but Kit really cared about her. And it wasn't good enough. He wasn't good enough.

Kit couldn't help but think of the last time he felt like this. The last time he was rejected. He had been careful about trying to keep all thoughts of Ty Blackthorn out of his head for awhile. Autumn was a good distraction, even when she was screaming obscenities at him. It was still a distraction.

Kit closed his eyes and conjured the memory of holding Ty up on the roof. If he squeezed his eyes tightly enough, Kit could still feel the softness of his hoodie and the slight tickle of Ty's dark hair against his skin. He could conjure the smell of Ty's skin and the way he had trembled slightly against Kit's body.

I should have kissed him. Kit mused, hugging himself tightly. Just once. Even if Ty had pushed him away in disgust, it would have been worth it. Just to know what it felt like.

Suddenly from the bottom of the bed, Kit's phone lit up with a call. He scrambled to grab it, thinking it was Autumn, but it was actually Janessa. Kit cleared his throat, trying to make his voice sound normal as he answered the phone.

"Why are you calling me at 2 am Nessie?"

"The better question is why are you still awake at 2 am," she pointed out, sounding smug. "I'm a vampire. Creature of the night remember? It's kinda prime time for me Kit Kat."

Kit smiled as he felt the previous angst wash away. "Yeah fair enough. But still, why are you calling me?"

Kit heard her sigh into the phone. "Well honestly because this is probably the only time you're free now a days," she said spitefully. "You know thanks to she-who-must-not-be-named." Kit rolled his eyes.

"That's my girlfriend you're talking about, Janessa!" He snapped.

"Well your girlfriend's a total bitch!"

Normally Kit would argue with her and tell her that she was way off base. That Autumn wasn't so bad and that she was trying. That she loved him. But today he just couldn't.

He sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "We got into another fight tonight," he admitted. "Just a few hours ago actually."

"I'm sorry love," Janessa murmed. Nessie wasn't British. She was actually Canadian. But she had moved around the world with her previous band before settling in Devon and leaving them to go solo. She had picked up on some British expressions though.

"I wish you weren't going through this. But Kit, you gotta break up with her! She's bad news!"

Kit rested his face against the palm of his left hand. "I can't," he groaned.

Janessa let out a frustrated yell on the other end of the phone. "What the hell are you planning on doing Kit!? I mean are you just gonna wait into she hits you or what?" She spat.

"She already did," Kit responded instantly without missing a beat.

He gasped and slapped a hand to cover his mouth. Kit had no idea why he actually told her. Impulsivity maybe? Or maybe he just needed to get it out. But he instantly regretted it.

There was a long uncomfortable silence on the other end of the phone. Kit was just about to ask Janessa where she went when suddenly she spoke.

"I'm coming over."

Kit tried to protest but she hung up on him.

Before he had time to panic or scream or throw something, there was an aggressive tapping on his window. Of course. Janessa had vampire speed. He looked up to see Nessie perched on his windowsill looking solem.

Her long black curly hair was pulled into a high ponytail and she wore what by her standards was probably a casual outfit. A black long sleeved low cut crop top and white ripped skinny jeans tucked into thigh high heeled leather boots. And of course, she wore a full face of makeup. Even after the facial feminization surgery she was still a little insecure about going out without makeup on.

Nessie banged on his window again, more impatiently and Kit jumped up to let her in. She landed on his bedroom floor with the grace of a cat, making no sound. She stared at him silently with an expression that Kit found hard to decipher.

"Show me where," she whispered in that deep raspy voice of hers. She reached for his face and Kit let Janessa cradle his face with her hands and tried not to wince as her cold skin came into contact with his.

He shook his head. "No you won't see it, I put an iratze on it already. It's done." Janessa scoffed and stepped back.

"You know the damage isn't just skin deep Kit," she said pointedly. "No matter how much you want to pretend it is."

He glared at her. "Wow that's so insightful Nessie!," he said sarcastically. "What else you got?"

"Oh come on Kit you know I'm right," She hissed. "You have to end it!"

Kit shook his head. Why does she keep saying that?

"No. Why should I?" Kit retorted. "She loves me." He tried to sound as confident as he could, but truthfully he wasn't so sure anymore.

Autumn had gone above and beyond to make Kit feel loved and appreciated yo the point where she was almost obsessive. But she could also be cruel and spiteful. Kit had convinced himself that he should be happy with what he had because it was as good as he was gonna get.

And the sad part was that was still true.

"No she doesn't," Janessa breathed desperately. To Kit's horror, it looked like she was about to cry. Kit couldn't remember if he had ever seen her cry. Not once.

"Somebody who really loved you could never hurt you like that!" She protested shakily, her voice warbled as tears spilled down her face.

Kit could feel his tears returning at the sight of Nessie crying. He rushed towards her and pulled her into his arms, burying his face in her neck. In the comfort of his best friend's embeace he allowed himself to finally sob. He cried for that broken niave part of himself that kept getting hurt.

She rested her chin on the top of his head, (she was taller then him,) and held him close. "Please promise me you will break up with her," Janessa begged.

"I just don't get it," Kit whispered against her skin. "I did everything right. I did everything I could." He blinked back tears. "Why doesn't she love me Nessie?"

He felt her shake against him. "I don't know Kit," she sobbed. "But I love you ok? I love you and your parents love you, and Mina loves you so much!"

Kit sighed, pulling back to wipe his tears. "I know, but what if I, you know-. What if I never find someone? Like romantically?"

Janessa studied him, raising her eyebrow. "Well do you need to find someone? Who is this arbitrary someone who can give you something a friendship can't?"

That's actually a good point.

"I mean," Nessie continued, crossing her arms and shifting her weight. "If you do end up in a relationship then cool, it's whatever. But the way I see it is you shouldn't focus all of your energy on looking because you're gonna end up missing out on some pretty cool stuff in the mean time." She smiled.

Kit thought about it. He knew logically Janessa had a point. But he just couldn't feel it. He was too depressed and defeated. And as ashamed as it made him, Kit still missed Autumn. He tried to smile along with Nessie but it must have looked weak because she looked concerned.

"Hey," she cooed, reaching for him.

"Can you sing to me Nessie?" He asked. Kit  felt a little pathetic but hopefully she wouldn't judge him.

She smiled lovingly at him. "Sure." Janessa took his hand and led him to his bed.

"Any requests?" She asked as she pulled off her boots and lay down on Kit's bed. He followed her, snuggling up against Nessie with his back to her.

"No not really," he murmered, closing his eyes. Kit was finally starting to feel how exhausted he really was.

Janessa wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close, resting her head slightly against his shoulder. "Ok," she whispered very softly.

Kit heard her clear her throat softly before the sound of her breathy angelic alto filled his ears.

"I'm turning out the lights, to remember how to see. Till the renaissance takes place, Until a renaissance takes place, and resuscitates the color of paint and divinity."

Kit smiled sleepily at the sound of his enneagram song, something Janessa had introduced him to.

He yawned and let the sound of Nessie's voice lull him to sleep, putting all thoughts of Autumn behind him.

In my head Kit is like 5'4 and Janessa is 5'9. Originally I had her at 5'11 but I wanted her to be closer in height to Kit. Also did I name Kit's abusive girlfriend Autumn after my toxic controlling ex best friend? You bet I did!

Tag list: (you know the deal) @playwithravenclaw @lavender-scented-rat @jazzkaurtheglorious @waterlillies   @nott-the-best @stxr-thxif @magnus-the-fabulous-entp-bane @foxglove-airmid @littlx-songbxrd @clarys-heosphoros @queenlilith43 @arangiajoan @hardlymatters @the-wckd-powers @thomas-gaypanic-lightwood @adoravel-fenomeno

[shadowhuntertrash]

Nightmares

kit x ty

Kit couldn't breathe. There was too much dust, too much blood, too much ichor.

Kit coughed as he sat up, desperately trying to get to his feet. He tried to call for help but his voice was thick and he couldn't understand himself.

He stumbled to his feet and looked around wildly. Everything around him was ash and fire, he couldn't see more than a few feet in front of him.

All of a sudden the ash cleared slightly and he could make out four figures in chairs, their hands all bound behind their backs.

Tessa, Jem, Mina, and Ty sat in front of him. All of them looked terrified, Mina had tears pouring down her face. Jem looked calm as he always did and Ty had relaxed his face to look unbothered but Kit knew better than anyone the hidden fear that laid there. Tessa was shaking slightly, her chin stuck up in defiance.

All of a sudden he became aware of a heavy weight in his hands, when he looked down he was confused to find a gun there.

A hand fell heavy on his shoulder and he whipped around to see the face if his father.

No, no, no, no. Dead. He's dead.

Kit turned quickly and came face to face with a beautiful woman. She was smiling and there were flowers in her blonde hair.

"Christopher." She said softly. Kit stared at her, confused.

"Who-" He was cut off by a new voice, a familiar one.

"That's your mom, Kit." Livvy was standing next to him her chin on his shoulder and her big smile flashed at him.

Kit turned his eyes back to Ty, terrified about how he would react to seeing his sister. Ty's face was carefully blank and Kit found comfort in the way they were looking Kit in the eye and not Livvy.

"Kill one." Kit's head flew to his father his mouth going dry and choking slightly on the ash that stirred at the sudden movement. "What?"

Livvy laughed and for the first time Kit didn't enjoy hearing it. She kissed his cheek and pulled back enough for him to see her smile. "Kill one of them. Choose one."

Kit stumbled away from her his heart beating too fast. "No. I won't, you can't make me." His mother was in front of him suddenly and he felt sick.

"You killed all of us. What's one more?" Kit flinched back and dropped his gaze to the floor. "No, I didn't."

His mother laughed. "You think you didn't kill me? I died because you were born. You were born and I had to run because of it. You killed me, Kit."

Kit shook his head, tears welling in his eyes. "No." He whispered brokenly.

"Everyone you love dies." Johnny said and Kit couldn't help but flinch away from the sound of his father's voice. "If you had been quicker, smarter, faster. If you had tried harder I would still be alive."

Kit put his hands to his ears trying to block out their voices. He could hear Livvy talking but his heart was pumping too loudly to hear her words. He was grateful.

"Kit? Hey, Kit, look at me." Kit had a habit of hearing Ty over everything else and he had never been more grateful for that than he was now.

Kit raised his head and looked at Ty who had a few tears falling down his face. He smiled slightly as if trying to reassure Kit that he was alright.

"It's okay. Just focus on me, love. None of this is your fault, okay? What they're saying, none of that is true. You know that." Kit whimpered and made to move closer when a gunshot went off.

Kit heard himself scream and his eyes shot to Johnny who was holding the gun. Kit followed his eyes to Jem who had gone a sickly shade of white.

"No!" Kit said, he tried to move closer but he couldn't get his feet to move. "Am I that easy to replace?" Johnny asked the nonchalance in his voice enough to make Kit sick.

Tessa and Mina were both crying but Kit could do nothing but watch as Jem's eyes fell closed and a raspy breathe left his lungs before they stopped working.

Two more shots were fired and Kit closed his eyes tightly. He was sobbing and screaming at this point.

Everything hurt. He didn't know how to live without Jem, he hadn't realized just how much he depended on Jem until this moment.

He opened his eyes and they immediately fell on Ty who had tears streaming down his face. He looked at Kit with a look so sad he couldn't help but look away. Kit regretted it immediately when he saw Mina and Tessa slumped in their chairs.

This time it was his mother who was holding the gun. "Stop it." Kit said, his voice horse from screaming. "They don't deserve it, please stop. Kill me."

Livvy stepped up to grab the gun and turned to Kit. "Just remember," She said in a sickeningly sweet voice. "This was all your fault."

Kit watched as Livvy raised the gun at Ty. Ty made a strangled sound and Kit finally found the ability to move.

Kit jumped in front of Livvy with his hands out. "Please! Please, kill me. Don't touch him, kill me. Livvy, it's Ty, you don't want to kill him. Please, Livvy, kill me."

Ty was objecting loudly behind him but Kit was too focused on Livvy to pay attention to him.

Kit felt rough hands pulling him back. Kit thrashed and pulled against the hands. "Let me go. Let me go!" Kit screamed, tears streaming freely down his face. "Ty!"

Livvy didn't even flinch as she pulled the trigger. Kit screamed louder than he ever had before.

Kit could feel himself screaming. He could see the blood seeping through Ty's shirt, hear Ty's screams.

He could still feel the arms wrapped tightly around him as he desperately tried to get away from whoever was holding him.

"Stop! Let me go! Let go!" Kit screamed. He couldn't breathe. They were dead. They're all dead. "Let me go." He said again, but this time it came out as a whisper.

"Kit," A soft and familiar voice said from behind him. No, no, no. Kit whimpered and curled into himself. Ty was dead that wasn't Ty.

"Kit, love, look at me. Please, look at me." Kit screamed again but it wasn't out of fear, it was utter heartbreak. Pain laced and broken.

The person behind him moved and Kit tensed.

Ty's face came into view. His face was open, concern and fear evident in his expression. Kit closed his eyes tightly, he was tired of seeing the fear on his face.

"Kit, it was a dream. You're okay, everything's okay." Kit shook his head and his breaths came in gasps.

He felt gentle hands on his face and a forehead pressing against his own. "I'm right here, Kit. This is real. I'm here." Kit moved his hands to Ty's hair, his hands were shaking but Ty's hair was solid in his fingers.

Kit continued to feel Ty. His hands, his face, his hair. Once Kit was convinced that this was real he let out a sob and collapsed fully into Ty's arms.

"Ty," He gasped, his voice breaking as the tears kept falling. Ty's arms tightened around him and he felt himself being lifted slightly until he was sitting in Ty's lap.

His face was tucked into Ty's neck as he held onto him tightly. "I'm so sorry. You died and I couldn't get to you." Kit said, his chest heaved as he tried to get the air to enter his lungs.

"I'm right here, Kit. I'm fine." Ty pressed a kiss to Kit's head and Kit finally felt his heart rate slow.

"You're right here." Kit repeated quietly. Ty's arms tightened and he rubbed Kit's back soothingly.

"You can't get rid of me that easily." Ty said, his lips moving against Kit's curls. Kit laughed softly and wrapped his legs loosely around Ty's waist.

"Are Jem, Tessa, and Mina okay?" Kit asked softly, afraid of the answer. Ty nodded and lifted a hand to run through Kit's hair.

"They're fine. I can send them a fire message if that would make you feel better?" Kit hesitated but then shook his head.

"It's okay. I believe you. Can we go see them tomorrow though?"

Ty leaned back in the bed and adjusted them so that Kit was laying on top of him. "Course we can." He said easily.

Kit shifted so he could lay his head on Ty's chest. He gripped Ty's hand and closed his eyes.

"Stay?" Kit asked quietly. Ty wrapped an arm around Kit's neck and kissed his forehead, the other still rubbing Kit's back.

"Always."

[amchara]

Road to Hell (Wait for Me, I’m Coming) Part Two - Kit / Ty Hadestown AU

(Part One)

Ty rubbed his face tiredly, as he stared at another chicken-scratch parchment in the Unseelie Court’s library. He looked up and saw that Dru was fast asleep, gently snoring into her crossed arms, while Anush was dazedly flipping through pages of a huge leatherbound book. Mark had left a while ago, muttering something about getting some food for them but he hadn’t returned yet.

Ty looked down at his research, the collected notes he had written over the last day and a half and suddenly it seemed pitiful, compared to the task ahead. Ty could feel the panic rising, his chest tight and he concentrated on the feel of the rough paper underneath his fingertips. He had to get Kit out of Hell and he was taking notes, like he was back in the Scholomance and this was an assignment, instead of… instead of the most important fucking thing in the world.

He hadn’t told Kit how he felt yet. They had only just re-entered each other’s lives over the past two months and were still doing a wary dance as they relearned each other’s steps after three years apart.

There had been a hesitant scene in the L.A. Institute’s atrium when Kit had strolled in, almost as if he had never left, all sunshine gold hair, eyes the colour of a clear autumn sky, and a husky voice with just the slightest hint of an English accent.

There had been the angry, sparse time when Helen had sent them on a patrol together and they had strode along in miserable silence until Kit had finally stopped him and asked where Livvy was- and Ty had snapped back at him, the wound still raw, that he was trying to make amends for everything he’d done but he’d had to do it alone and he wasn’t ready to talk about it. The fragile moment when Kit’s face had crumpled briefly and he told Ty he was sorry he had left and that Ty had had to do it alone. And the appearance of the Raum demons a minute later, interrupting them- but then the glimpse of how it could be, as Kit had stopped him after the attack and insisted on drawing the iratze on Ty’s forearm, his face a study of concentration as they sat in the car before driving back to the Institute.

There had been fleeting, glorious moments in the training room when they had sparred, the pretence of combat a freeing sensation for Ty, as he felt able to finally touch Kit and the look Kit had given him, his breath an uneven whisper on Ty’s collarbone after he pinned him to the floor, almost helping Ty make his decision. But it hadn’t been enough - and the agonising choice of whether to knock - and still being a coward and walking away, almost too quickly, from Kit’s door.

And then that moment in the clearing. When Kit had done the stupid, honourable Herondale thing and sacrificed himself for the rest of them. Ty didn’t think he’d do the same if the situation was reversed - but then again, he was a Blackthorn.

From far away, he could hear a tearing, ripping sound and he came back to himself, noting the confetti of yellow parchment floating down to the ground around him, as he paced back and forth, paper strewn around him and his hands moving almost mechanically as he shredded his carefully taken notes.

Anush looked over at him, finally noticing Ty’s pacing and his eyes widened. And just then, Mark re-appeared in the doorway, carrying a large tray. He let out a curse as he saw Ty, almost knocking over the tray in his hurry to put it down. He crossed the room quickly to stand in front of Ty, gentle as he placed his hands over his brother’s as he clasped them a firm grip. This time, Ty let him in and he drew in a few deep, shuddering breaths as he let the small remains of paper drop.

“It’s all right,” he told Mark. “I have them all memorised.”

Mark nodded. “It’s wise to not leave the notes to Hade unguarded,” he said. He paused. “Although perhaps a bit unkind to the brownie cleaners - but no matter, I’ll arrange to speak to them.”

There was a stretch of silence. “I’m leaving tomorrow morning,” Ty said. “I can’t wait too long- we don’t know if time moves differently in Hades compared to the rest of Faerie and I can’t risk it.”

Mark’s eyes searched Ty’s face - not seeking eye contact but a different kind of reassurance. He seemed to find it, and he dropped Ty’s hands. “Then we’ll prepare to go together - you’re not going alone,” he said. A chorus joined in - a rousing if slightly terrified response from Anush, and a sleepy affirmation from Dru, who appeared to have just woken up.

Ty felt a brief moment of terror that he was bringing more people into what his research told him was likely a suicide mission… but the ice cold shiver of memories and Livvy’s pleading, drained face swam into view and he swallowed his protests. He didn’t think he could go through it alone again.

—

The ivory keys of the grand piano were always immaculately polished and Kit wondered whose job it was to clean them. His job was to play the music and he thanked - well, it wasn’t God and it wasn’t the Angel Raziel - but he thanked his lucky stars that he had picked up some basic songs from Jace the previous summer when he had visited the New York Institute, and that Jem had considered learning to read music by sight an essential part of a well-rounded education, alongside Kit’s Shadowhunter training and mundane school.

In contrast to the bright electric fluorescence that lit the warren of overly warm machinery-filled rooms that Kit had started to refer to as Hadestown, Persephone’s conservatory was different, with its faded white, latticed walls and high glass ceilings letting in the smallest fraction of outside light.

It reminded him of where he had lived with Jem, Tessa and Mina - in… C- In Cir- Kit’s mind stuttered. He didn’t know how long he had been here - the days were starting to blur together and he was worried he was starting to forget more than just the little things.

He stared down at the piano keys as the large ornamental clock on the wall struck eleven. Like clockwork precision, Persephone waltzed in, her movements sultry but sulky as always. She threw some new music books at Kit and he caught them awkwardly, balancing them on his lap.

“These ones - I don’t care which one you play first today,” she said, sitting down on the long fainting couch across from him, her black hair spilling over the white satin fabric as she rested her head. Kit tried not to stare at her deep decolletage, which was prominently framed by the tight red dress she was wearing. She noticed as he turned away and her gaze was hungry as she looked at him.

Kit looked down as he chose a music book and blindly opened it to a first page he saw. He started playing, a crooning jazz number singing out underneath his fingers. He didn’t know if it was because he was in Faerie or the spell he could feel he was under but he was a much better musician here than in the mundane world. The tight, lost look on Persephone’s face began to relax as the melody echoed in the conservatory.

As he finished the first song and began another, his movements almost automatic, Kit allowed himself to think again, of escape - of returning to the land of the living - to his family, to the Shadowhunter institutions he was slowly becoming accustomed to again, to… Ty. To what might be between them, although he had almost strangled that hope, locked it away tight and deep inside his heart. What they had resurrected - if that word could be used - given previous circumstances was almost a miracle, Kit thought, hard fought for and one that he hadn’t been about to throw away on foolish too-soon declarations of love. Even so, when he had seen that faerie arrow aimed straight at Ty’s heart, he hadn’t hesitated. He might not be ever able to tell Ty how he felt but at least he had been able to show it in his actions, he mused.

And he wasn’t about to give up on leaving this hellhole, although each unrelenting day in this dull, dark and depressing place of dust and hollow-eyed workers pulled at that hope. But he clung to his memories - to the now-dimly lit memories of the outside world. Of his love for a black-haired, grey-eyed boy with his sharp intellect and fierce love of his family, who saw the world in a different light than most, and was - had been willing - and maybe, might be willing again to share it with Kit.

The last note rang out as he finished the song and he drew his hands back, muscles aching. He had been playing for nearly an hour. In the sudden silence, Persephone let out a ragged sigh.

“Who is the love that you play for, boy?” she said, her voice ancient and rough. She rose from the couch and crossed the floor, her dress swishing across the smooth marble. “I have heard many love songs in my years… but yours is one that I haven’t heard in an eon. Tell me their name.” Her green eyes glistened with unshed tears.

But Kit remained silent. He knew instinctively if he said Ty’s name, he would lose it. He shook his head, his lips pressed together.

Persephone narrowed her eyes, and she reached out, as if to stroke his brow. Kit evaded her and stood up. He had been coming to play for her for several times now, and he had started to learn her ways. He needed a distraction. “I saw that crack in the wall- is that new, Persephone?” Kit lowered his voice as he gestured across the room. “I know you’re a captive as much as I am. Let me help you- we can escape together and then I will tell you.”

Persephone’s laugh was as dry as a winter’s wind as she sized him up. “Oh, that’s adorable, my sweet-” she said. “But I made my choice long ago and it’s--” her eyes suddenly moved past him. “It’s the love I deserve,” her voice suddenly was filled with honey and springtime.

Kit knew that Hades had arrived, and he tried to quell the fear rising in him as he turned around.

The man - fae - god or whatever he was - was standing in the doorway, casually watching them.

“Leave him,” he said in his deep voice. “I desire your company.”

Persephone swept past Kit without another word and draped herself across Hades. “Of course my darling- I am here. What shall we do?”

Hades took a moment to whisper into her ear and Persephone looked uncomfortable but let out a deep, throaty chuckle. “Of course.”

Hades smiled, with a devilish twist and he pulled her away, starting down the hall.

But then he stopped and looked back at Kit. “Your shift here has ended - get back on the assembly line.”

Kit looked down at his rough worker’s uniform, smeared with rust and dust and he forced himself to nod evenly - he knew from past experience that it was unwise to argue with Hades.

Hades’ firelit eyes swept over him. “And once that is over - come see me in my office.”

And at that, Kit knew that he was in trouble. Hades had summoned him twice since his arrival to his office, after the initial contract signing. Each time afterwards Kit had found himself weak and gasping on the floor outside, his mind blank and unsure of what had passed behind the walls of the office. Nothing good, he thought grimly - and that was likely the cause of his increasingly fuzzy memory recall.

He needed to escape and soon. He nodded again and Hades left with Persephone. Kit started to make his way to the factory floor. On his way out of the conservatory, he bumped into a small, bird-framed girl with a luminous beauty and whose too-large eyes must have been lively once but were now faded and glazed over with the thousand yard stare that all Hades’ workers had. That he might soon have. “What’s your name?” Kit asked the girl, trying not to sound desperate.

She looked up at him. “I- Eu- I…” she looked puzzled and sad. “I don’t know.” she said.

Kit felt a stab of despair.

Tag list: (let me know if you want to be added / removed!)

@jesse-is-spiraling @dontmindmyshadowhunting @sandersgrey @thechangeling

[livsoulsecrets]

Kit Herondale Fic - Am I Enough?

Summary: Kit wonders if he has what it takes to be the big brother Mina deserves and goes to Alec for some advice, which proves to be really useful.

-

It was funny, Kit thought as he got up from Magnus’ fancy couch, leaving his parents happily chatting with Jace as he retold some of his favorite memories with Alec. Everyone saw Jace as this untouchable hero, an example of glory and fierceness, even Jace himself thought that, Kit was certain, but nobody was more worth of admiration to Jace than Alec, that much was clear in the way he looked at his parabatai for affirmation every time he spoke in public, the anchoring hand he would always lay on Alec’s shoulder before battle and the softness of the words whispered between them.  

Alec was Jace’s hero in every sense of the world. Alec was everything Kit hoped he could be to Mina, little Mina that would hang on to his finger like her life depended on it, who would smile at him every time he picked her up, Mina, who he would die for and live for and do anything and everything for. His light and wild rose, she was so much more than he deserved, but Kit was determined to be exactly who she needed.  

That determination is what kept Kit going as he walked into Magnus and Alec’s kitchen, finding the Consul of the Shadowhunters, the highest authority of their people, one of their most skilled and wisest members, with glitter all over his hair and a well-intended, but still tragically messy rainbow on his cheek, courtesy of his son, Rafael, who looked quite proud of himself.  

— Yes, now you are ready for the party! — Rafe announces, putting the paint-brush down.  

— Thank you for that, I am sure I look... — Alec stops, looking over to Kit, noticing his presence. — Interesting? — He completes, hesitant.  

— That is one way to put it. — Kit answers, barely containing a laugh.  

— He looks gay! — Rafael says, fiercely, crossing his arms.  

— I look what now? — Alec asks, confused, but still entertained.  

— You heard the kid. — Kit is laughing now, not being able to help it.  

— Gay, dad. Papa told me gay means happy as well! He said you would be gay twice if I made you happy on your birthday! — Rafael explains, looking offended his point wasn’t understood. — I know how much you like my drawings, so I made you a gay one, like the flag we bought last week. — Kit feels like he is intruding a lovely family moment, but he is too touched by Rafe’s dedication to miss the scene. Alec smiles and bows down to kiss his son’s forehead.  

— Gracias, hijo. — He says, messing his hair up in sequence. — I do love your drawings and I love you even more. — Rafe smiles back to his dad, pleased with himself. He gets off the table, where he was sitting to be able to paint his dad’s face, and runs to the living room.  

— He is adorable, you know. — Kit says and Alec smirks.  

— Yeah, he really is. I’m lucky. — Alec’s words are simple and direct, like many things about him are, but they stick with Kit. Before he met his family, he used to think love was a complicated, painful and disastrous thing, like what his dad seemed to feel for his mom and for Kit himself, like the lies and betrayal he saw in the Shadow Market, like the tricks he pulled as well. It was only after getting to know Tessa and Jem that Kit noticed love was quite simple, that good, real love was calm and peaceful and felt like home. The trust and the care he learned from them made Kit understand that loving somebody is not about the big gestures and dramatic moves, it is about knowing someone inside out and still staying, not because you desperately needed them, but because you desperately wanted them.  

Alec’s love for his family was a lot like the one Jem and Tessa had, the love they shared with Mina and Kit. That is what prompted Kit to come after Alec today, seeking some guidance in how to present this very same type of love to his little sister.  

— Alec, could I ask you something? I know it is your birthday and I don’t want to bother you, but I promise it will be fast-  

— Kit, just ask it. You’re not bothering me. — Alec cuts his rambling off and Kit is grateful for that, not even understanding why he is so nervous. Ever since he moved in with Tessa and Jem, he had met Alec many times and grew quite close with his family as well, since Tessa was one of Magnus’ oldest friends. If there was one thing he knew, it was that Alec could never be anything other than kind towards him.  

— Okay, sure. Good. — He answers, eyes casting down. — This is probably a weird question, but... How did you make sure you were the brother your siblings needed? Because, honestly, Jace and Izzy adore you and it seems so effortless to you that it blows my mind. I have known Mina her whole life, which is not much, you know? She is only one. But, for her, it is a lot of time! Still, I don’t know what I’m doing.  I feel like- By the Angel, like she needs so much more than I can give her. That is insane, I get it, her favorite word at the moment is poop and she adores to scream it at the top of her lungs every time we’re out, of course she doesn’t have great expectations right now, but she  will someday and I don’t think I will be able to be who she needs me to be. Will I even deserve all the trust she puts in me? All the love she gives me? Will I even-  

— Kit, stop. — Alec firmly demands and Kit is so shocked by the action that he finally turns to look at him. It is quite astonishing to find a sly smile on Alec’s lips. — Just stop, okay? You’re overthinking away too much, trust me: I have been there. It was never effortless to me, quite the opposite. I spent most of my life doubting I could be the right person to keep my siblings safe. When Max-  

He stops, swallows dryly, seeming to gather himself for what he is about to say before speaking again.  

— When Max died, I was destroyed. I felt like I failed him. Somedays I still do, so does Izzy, so does Jace. Still, I know Max would never think that of us, he knows Sebastian is the only one to blame for what happened. —  His expression softens for a moment and Kit hopes he didn’t bring out any hard memories on such a happy day. — What I’m trying to say is that you will never feel like you’re enough or like you know what you’re doing, it will always be hard and the idea of letting Mina down will always be scary. There is no running away from that.  

— So, I will just feel this terrified forever? — He is well aware of how disturbed he sounds, but can’t help it when Alec just dropped this bomb on him.  

— No, not if you learn one little thing, that took me many years to understand. — Alec’s voice is soft now; the tone Kit only ever saw him use around his family.  

— And what is that?  

— Mina already thinks you’re the everything she needs. She already thinks you deserve all the love and trust she gives to you. You know why? — Alec questioned and Kit just stared blankly at him, not knowing what to say. — Because, every single day, you get up and choose to try your best to make her happy and keep her safe. That is all she needs from you: to never stop trying. She doesn’t want you to drive yourself crazy or sacrifice anything for her. I once thought the same, I was sure I could never be myself or be happy, if I wanted my siblings to be proud of me. I thought that was the only way I could protect them. Angel, how I was wrong. All they ever wanted was for me to be exactly who I am. — He glares at Jace laughing loudly in the living room, Izzy rolling her eyes at him, but still smiling softly at her brother shortly after, and something shifts inside of Kit.  

That is what he wants for his and Mina’s future. He wants her to laugh at him until they are both out of breath, he wants her look at him with the just right combination of exasperation and affection, to still grab his hand when she is scared and run to his arms when she is happy.  

— So... You are saying that I should just be myself? — Kit queries and Alec nods, as if he just asked him if the sky was blue.  

— Yes, as cheesy as it sounds, just keep doing what you’re doing and I’m sure you will be fine.  

— But what if who I am is not enough, Alec? — His voice cracks and he hates how obvious his uncertainty is, but Alec doesn’t shudder.  

— Kit, you are more than enough. The fact you even question it already shows you are, that is why you care so much. Still, I know, better than most, that I can’t be the one to tell you that. Any words will fall flat if you don’t believe in it. Look, I wouldn’t worry too much about Mina if I were you. She already adores you. Maybe just focus on believing in yourself, make sure you see why she does. Do that, kid, and I can assure you all these doubts will vanish. — He lays a hand in his shoulder and squeezes it, dropping it shortly after.  

— That was really... Wise. — Kit blurted out, trying to absorb what he just heard.  

— Don’t sound so surprised. — Alec jokes and Kit can’t help but fell an overwhelming sense of gratitude settling in his chest.  

— Thank you for saying all of that. It really helped, like, you have no idea how much. — Kit thanked him; glad he had gone to Alec with his questions.  

— You’re welcome. — He calmly responded, just as Izzy entered the kitchen with an empty glass.

— Alec, where do you keep the wine? Because I’m sure Magnus is hiding the good stuff from me! — She claims, coming to rest against the door way.  

— If I told you where he keeps it, I will probably have divorce files on my desk by morning. — Alec playfully provokes his sister, that just waves his concern away with a hand.  

— Fine, for the sake of your marriage, I will just have you ask him for me. — Then, upon realizing Alec’s lack of interest in the idea, she pouts, moving to hang on Alec’s shoulder. — Please? — He looks down at her and sighs.  

— As you please. — She claps in excitement and kisses him in the cheek.  

— I’ll be waiting! — Izzy announces, before leaving the kitchen.  

— Are you good? — Alec asks Kit once his sister disappears into the living room.  

— I will be. — Kit answers and he is only half faking the confidence in his voice, so he takes that as a win.  

— Yeah, you will. — Alec confirms as he walks away, Kit on his tow. He drops himself back in the couch, deep in thought. He is startled when a tiny hand grabs his left leg. Once Kit looks down, he finds Mina holding on tight to him to push herself up. He smiles down at her as she stands, her grip on Kit so strong he wonders if that is some sort of Shadowhunter-Warlock baby superpower.

— Min-Min, you are getting though. — He proudly states. Mina giggles, as if she understands what he’s saying and puts both of her hands up, a common indication she wants to be picked up by him.  

Kit gladly does so, placing his sister in his lap. She wiggles her little feet up as she rests her head against his chest, one of her hands coming to grip the collar of his shirt. She must probably be tired, her nap time coming up, but Kit tells himself he’ll soon put her down in Rafe’s bed like Magnus offered, even though he knows he most likely won’t. He holds her against his heart as she dozes off, feeling her hand relaxing the grip in order to rest against his heart, her five little perfect fingers going up and down with every heartbeat beneath them.  

In that moment, he’s absolutely sure they’ll be just fine, not because he’s perfect or sure he will never make mistakes, but simply because he loves her away too much to be anything other than his very best self.  

[beclynn-herondale]

jace + taking care of baby son alone for the first time please!!

Thank you, I love writing dad Jace

This is long but worth it

"well buddy it's just me and you, mommy took your sisters to the store," Jace said to his 6 month old son. And he smiled at Jace, that sweet innocent smile that babies and kids have, the smile of them not yet knowing the hardships of life, Jace and Clary swore they would give their kids the best life they could and they would make it easier for them.

And one of Jace's favorite thing about being a dad is his kids smile at him with the smile of knowing exactly who he is, He's dada

Jace read many books about pregnancy when Clary was pregnant with their first baby and he knew Clary would get super emotional but so did he.

He let his son grap his finger and swing it around like babies do, it's funny how at one point in your life all you want is constant fighting and being a hero and then after all that all you wanted was a family and once you have that family there really isn't anything more important.

Clary and the kids were Jace's world now and they are a world he would protect and love until dies.

"you know I love you right bud," Jace said. Stephen squealed and blew raspberries at Jace "I'll take that as a yes," Jace said with the loving and gentle smile he had for the ones he loved, he kissed his son on the cheek

Jace stuck his tongue out at him, and Stephen giggled, Jace started laughing as well, this is why being a parent made him feel so fulfilled, those laughs your kids gave you when you were being silly

The way they trusted you and loved you without a second thought and in return you give them love and take care of them and make sure they know their trust is safe with you, Jace wouldn't be anything less to his kids, he would always make sure they knew he loved and supported them no matter what, and that they can always trust him.

"listen chickpea, you need to stop being so cute and getting bigger, I want to snuggle you forever," Jace told his son while tearing up cause Stephen was already six months and he doesn't know how it's already been six months since he came into the world and they added another precious light to their life.

When Jace and Clary found out they were having another kid they were both overjoyed, Jace got Clary to agree to a big family, after they had their first kid and Celine started getting bigger, Clary came to Jace with tears saying 'she's getting so big it's not fair' at first Jace thought Clary was hurting and his instincts were to take her into his arms but then he found why and he started crying 'i know it seems like yesterday she was a newborn'

And then they met Eleanora who's parents had been killed on a mission and they took her in, Jace and Clary made sure she knew that she was just as much their daughter as Celine was, Jace having an adopted family himself didn't hesitate taking her in, and then a year later Clary found out she was pregnant with their son

And now Jace was here married with the most amazing and beautiful wife he could ever ask for, who is also the best mom ever in his opinion, and with 3 amazing kids who he will give all the love he can to, he had to admit he was nervous, he knew how to be a dad to girls but not a son yet, sure Max and Rafe are boys but that's different, their his nephews, Jace now had a son and he knew he will teach him to be a good man, he will teach his children to be better then he has been and make sure that they know how proud he is of them no matter what.

Jace decided to take Stephen to the greenhouse, "see chickpea, all these plants are beautiful, they all have a purpose and they all are different," Jace was telling his son as he bent down by a Basil plant "see this you use to cook with to give good flavor, one day dada will make you something with it," Jace said beamingly.

"one day I will teach you how to do all kinds of things, but for now you need to stay little," Jace said as he tickled his son, and was given that adorable baby laugh in return.

"you know, you really are precious, and I swear I will be the best dada I can be to you and your sisters, mommy will too, she's great you know, she also loves to the moon and would do anything for you, and she is the strongest person I know," Jace told his son

"oh, and then there's your uncle Alec, he is amazing and he's making the world a better place for the babies like you, he is the truest person I know and he loves you very much, Alec is a very important person to me and he doesn't get enough recognition, but I know you will look up to him just like I do," he said with a fond smile "also if anyone ever hurts you, your aunt Izzy will fight them, she loves you so much as well and she is one of the most amazing women you will ever meet, tho I suppose I am biased, but most of all Izzy will protect you no matter what," Jace said as sat down with his son in his arms and looked him in the eyes, they were Clary's green eyes.

"and your uncle Magnus will teach you how to put eyeliner on some day, and I want you to know that no one else can show you how to do it better, he'll also give you glitter and you will probably make a mess but you'll have a lot of fun doing that, you get that from me, I like to cause trouble," he said teasingly "and your uncle Simon will get you into all kinds of Mundane movies and comic books and I have no idea what they are about, but I'll listen when you come to tell me about them," he said with a smile

"and then there's grandma Maryse, she is another amazing woman, your surrounded by amazing women, she'll sing to you and play with you and spoil you, she'll read to you and make sure you feel safe, she is my mom and she tried her best to make me feel safe, so I know she will for you too," he said as he was starting to tear up.

"and now we talk about Max and Rafe, your cousins, Max is gonna get you into trouble and Rafe will get you both out of it, and you all will have many stories to tell and you'll be close and always have each other's backs, and they love you so much as well."

"and there's Tessa and Jem they are beautiful people who are so kind and loving you wonder if they are real, you know if you ever need them they'll come with hesitation, and they love you, then we have Kit and Mina, Kit will always make sure you have cookies and Mina will play with you and give you bandages if you need one," he said and saw that Stephen was staring at him like he was listening "and there's aunt Emma, she's gonna spoil you along with your sisters, she calls you and your sisters super angel babies, and she will smoother you in kisses so you better watch out, but she is kind and badass and you'll love her."

"and aunt Lily will say she'll eat you cause your so cute but she won't really I promise, aunt Lily is another amazing woman, and she is a savage, trust me she'll teach you things, and there's aunt Maia, I was not so nice to her when we first met but I grew on her and I apologised, and she loves you, she says she doesn't know how I made such cute babies, but i have to admit your mama had a big part in that," he said with a laugh.

"oh and there's Aline and Helen, they'll love you as well, Aline is another badass and amazing woman and Helen is fierce and kind, Aline will also show you how to throw a good lunch but don't tell mama I told you that, and Helen will make your oatmeal with love," Jace said with fondness.

"and there's Mark and Cristina, they are in charge of the Downworlder-Shadowhunter alliance,and Mark will make you weird sandwiches but he makes them with love, and he'll give you strawberries, and Cristina will sing you to sleep with spanish lullabies, your surrounded by so many people who love you, and you'll grow up to know these amazing people," he said emotionally.

"ah, there's my boys," Clary said as she walked up to them. "What's dada telling you chickpea?" She said as she picked their son up and kissed his temple

"I was telling him he is surrounded by good people who will love him," he said

"yes, so many, sometimes I wonder if you'll even know what to do with it all," Clary said with a grateful and loving smile.

"dada! dada!," Called Cece and Nora, Jace saw them running up to him and they tackle hugged him.

"hey my girls," he said as he took them both in his arms and they told him about their visit to the store and Clary took Stephen to go feed him, cause he was now hungry.

Fatherhood was an adventure and it's a adventure he hoped to be on forever, "alright girls let's go get dinner ready while mama takes care of baby chickpea," he said to them.

And they went and made dinner and Jace would never know what he did to deserve this love he now had but he knew he would forever be grateful and make sure he gives as much love back.

Tagging @khaleesiofalicante cause I know you'll be emotions with me

This got long but I couldn't help myself and I wanted to write about them as a family nas wellz hopefully you enjoy anon and hopefully this isn't too bad 🧡💛🧡💛

[immortal-enemies]

Kit sat on the roof of Cirenworth Hall memories flashing behind his eyes of a time not to long ago on a different roof of a different home.

And that's what it was; a home.

With a family that accepted him when no one else did. The Blackthorns didn't let many people in but Kit had been lucky enough to not only be accepted but to be let in and loved by most of them.

He missed them all, of course.

Tavvy and his need to be seen as a grown up despite his love for toys. He had accepted Kit quickly and though he lacked the innocence of a typical boy his age he still loved and believed people easily.

Dru and her adamant love for horror movies. Kit always suspected she loved them because she knew all the horrors in the movies were fake. She was a lonely souls and Kit always believed like called to like. He understood her more than most did and if it had been under better circumstances they would probably be much closer than they were.

He missed Julian who was like his first father figure. Someone who cared about him and helped him with things. Someone who showed him it was okay to depend on people instead of teaching him to only rely on himself.

He even missed Mark who he hadn’t gotten to know. He missed Kieran who went out of his way to show him he wasn't as alone as he felt.

He missed Christina and her unyielding kindness that she always showed even when he didn't think he deserved it.

He missed Emma and her blatant honesty. He missed her ruthless lessons in fighting and weaponry.

He missed Livvy in a way that ran deeper than the rest. He missed the way she protected Ty from everything. He missed the way she smiled and laughed, so carefree and so blissfully unaware of what fate had in store.

And he missed Ty. God, he missed Ty. He missed how the sun reflected off his dark hair. He missed the small touches Ty would give him when he was upset or happy even if Ty didn't fully understand why. He missed the utter acceptance he felt when Ty would smile at him. He missed knowing he could count on someone so fully.

He missed all of them, much more than he should given that he was the one who left.

Fate had given him many chances to have a family and he had messed them all up.

He sighed and he stood up and stretched. He could see through the window of the family room. Tessa was sitting next to Jem, Mina balanced on her lap as she laughed.

There was a movie playing on the TV and Kit smiled as he realized it was Hercules.

He made his way back inside to go join them.

He had messed all of his chances up this far, and he was determined to make this family last.

~🌺

I was not informed Hey! Let's make Jenny Cry Day! Was gonna come back.

You're so good at bittersweet 😭

[khaleesiofalicante]

OMG MAVID SUPREMACY Y’ALL

I cannot with how cute max and David are. they already love each other so much god YOING LOVE FTW

HERONDALE-FAIRCHILD FAM IS UWU. 2 out of 3 LMAO. JACE AND ALEC’S KIDS DATING IS SMTH I NEVER KNEW I NEEDED. Who’s going to give who the shovel fall. I need a crack convo between Alec and Jace about this right about now.

Can y’all believe that Alec Lightwood-Bane is such a great consult that demon attacks are considered RARE in his time. Proud of bebe. MAX AND RAF USED ALLIANCE RUNE GODBLESS

MAGNUS AND RAFAEL ARE BEING AFFECTIONATE AGAIN OMG OMG I NEEDED THIS SO BAD AFTER CH.5. Alec’s soft ‘my love’ I’m in heaven. I’m love them all.

Ahahahaha Rafael and Magnus’s ‘bitch we knew’ was so on point. MAX U DRAMATIC LITTLE SHIT ALL U WANT IS DRAMA. Alec being out of the loop is the funniest thing to me. Sweetheart ppl consider you a gay icon! Step up YOUR GAYDAR. Pls notice things other than Magnus

NO

ABSOLUTELY NO

NOT THE DREADED IMMORTALITY TALK-

aaghh you can see the pain in Alec’s talk. pls someone let this man be happy. I hurt your dad”- it’s okay love Magnus has forgiven you. and both of u had sone blame in it. MAX AVOIDING FEELINGS LIKE THE PLAGUE LMAOO RELATABLE. Not maxwell lightwood bane calling his dad stupid and crazy. listen up u- I’m so glad this conversation happened tho.

MAVID’S TALK GOD THEY ARE ICONIC. SO MANY BRAINCELLS. I’m love them. I’m glad David was honest about how his feelings might change in the future. I LOVE THE MATURITY.

Yes max you’re right. Alec never had anybody he could talk to about this. I’m so glad he understood. I love the whole thing. A++ parenting. I’m glad Max told him about the pressure he and Rafe feels.

SHANGHAI MARKET ALEC YOU ABSOLUTE GENIUS-

“I want you”- MAVID AND MALEC PARALLELS I FCKN CANNOT.

Honourable mentions:- MINA U CUTU. elyaas lmaoo

David what would happen if JACE AND ALEC AND JEM HAD A BABY. HAHAHA HOW DO I GET THE MENTAL IMAGE OUT OF MY HEAD. but also yes-

WARLOCK SQUAD MY HEART- Tessa. You absolute sweetheart I love u. Catarina is a queen and deserves to be the warlock president. ‘WHY DANI WHY R U LIKE THIS? WHY WOULD U SNEAK IN RAPHAEL’s DEATH JUST LIKE THAT. “ Ragnor had a soft spot for Rafael’ I WONDER WHY DANI????? HUH?? HUH??

ALEXANDER LIGHTWOOD BANE! YOU ASSHOLE!! THIS SO CALLED RULE FOLLOWER DEADASS THREW HIS OWN KID IN THE FIRE FOR THE SMOKING THING- this shit keeps getting better love

I really tried to keep the feedback short but this chapter SERVED US MAVID, ALEC, WARLOCK SQUAD, LIGHTWOOD-BANE FAMILY CONTENT AND I COILDNT CONTROL (ngl the last draft was longer lmao)

MAVID SUPREMACY!!

Also this gives me a such Mavid vibes 🥺🥰🥺

[themostawesomehuman]

Mina Carstairs is one lucky child

Jem Carstairs is her father

Tessa as her mother

Beautiful house

Kit Herondale as her big bro

If things goes well with Ty then she’ll have Ty too

If she has Ty then THE WHOLE BLACKTHORN FAM

She’s part of the Come-and-stare family

Magnus Bane was there when she was born

She can be a warlock or a shadowhunter

BUT JEM IS HER FATHER

Her half siblings are James and Lucie!

She’s distantly related to Jace Herondale

Everyone probably loves her

Max and Rafe could play with her and become friends

OH AND LILY CHEN WILL DEFINITELY LOVE HER

@lily-chen-deserves-better @idontgetit-whydoihavetosaymyname

[lightwood-carstairs]

hii 💖 jem carstairs for the character tag? i don't know how it's called lol

Hi :)

It's ok bestie I got you haha

Jem MY BELOVED 😭😭❤❤❤❤ tHANK YOU FOR THIS ASK AJAJHSHSHSGSDGGDDGGD

How I feel about this character

- Jem Carstairs my most beloved. I would die and kill for him. He is my absolute favourite sunshine catboy and he deserves all the good things in the world and more and I'm gonna stop here because if I allow myself to go on I wouldn't be able to stop.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

- Herongraystairs Supremacy. And as crack I'd say Brother Enoch ;)

My non-romantic OTP for this character

- Literally everyone he meets except the assholes. Special mention Mina, Kit, Church, Charlotte, Cecily, James, Lucie, Matthew, Alastair, Jace, Clary, Emma and Will and Tessa too sometimes bc they were great friends first

My unpopular opinion about this character

- He definitely deserved more and better but his character is written perfectly. Great job breaking my heart, CC.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

- HERONGRAYSTAIRS REUNION, TID Gang Reunion, He should've been able to be a proper Uncle Jem to Will's kids and he should've had a chance to introduce Will to his Mina etc etc a lot of things but I'm happy with how his character was written and I ADORE HIM MY HUSBAND MY HEART MY LIFE-