#jerry was the most gorgeous man i’ve ever seen

[fredandginger64]

❤️He makes my day every single day!❤️

[thekyterion]

TOP 10 FILMS OF 2022

In a year full of huge blockbusters, record-breaking indies and a sequel for just about every movie ever made, here are my top 10 films of 2022.

“Aftersun” (dir. Charlotte Wells): An incredibly personal, poignant and heartbreaking directorial debut with performances for the ages from Frankie Corio and Paul Mescal. Following a father and daughter on holiday, the film’s editing and sound design also stand out in this 96 minute emotional masterwork. I’d type more but I’d start crying. Seriously.

“Babylon” (dir. Damien Chazelle): A three hour spectacle of filmmaking and the perils of transitioning through one’s career as the environment around you shifts uncontrollably. Chazelle goes back to his “Whiplash” roots, with tension dialed up to 10 for most of the film, especially the final hour. Diego Calva leads the film perfectly, Margot Robbie gives one of the best performances of the year, and the entire supporting cast (especially Jovan Adepo) are phenomenal. Brilliant crafts and one of my favorite endings in recent memory. Definitely worth the big-screen experience.

“The Banshees of Inisherin” (dir. Martin McDonough): The perfect encapsulation of the deterioration of a friendship that should not go to the levels it does. The entire cast is superb, with all four stars (Colin Farrell, Brendan Gleeson, Kerry Condon, and Barry Keoghan) deserving of awards recognition and will likely be huge threats in their respective acting categories. It’s a gorgeous film that is absolutely hilarious and heartbreaking at the same time, with a thesis that leaves you questioning everything but also never once lets you pick sides in the central battle. And it only gets better and funnier on each rewatch.

“EO” (dir. Jerry Skolimowski): One of the most immersive cinematic experiences I have ever had. The film, Poland’s submission for Best International Feature, places you directly in the eyes of a donkey named EO as he ventures across Europe and the many types of people and perils the world requires you to face, should you be brave enough to venture outside into them. Despite never saying a word, the film uses its breathtaking cinematography and sensory-inducing editing to allow you to understand everything EO does on an incredibly emotional level unlike anything I have ever witnessed.

“Everything Everywhere All at Once” (dirs. Daniel Kwan & Daniel Scheinert): The best and most original film I’ve seen in years. I’ve spoken so much about my absolute love for this film. I saw it 8 times in theaters in 2022, including one screening in IMAX at the TCL Chinese Theatre (which was life-altering). The multiverse masterpiece follows Michelle Yeoh playing a woman who just wants to do her taxes, but finds herself trapped in an inter-dimensional war that affects her current universe all too much. Stephanie Hsu and Ke Huy Quan deserve Oscars for the heart and soul they are able to bring to the film, and Yeoh is my pick for Best Actress, brilliantly balancing every version of her character within a film that changes genres so quickly and dramatically. A brilliant feat of filmmaking.

“Living” (dir. Oliver Hermanus): Based on the 1952 Akira Kurosawa film “Ikiru”, “Living” centers on a man (Bill Nighy) who is coming to terms with his impending death and understanding what it means to be alive and live. Nighy is brilliant and leads the film with impeccably perfect acting, and the film ponders and allows for many questions about life. It’s simply beautiful and never goes where you think, despite being given a road map at the start of the film. If I left the film with anything, it’s that what we choose to do with the time we have matters.

“Marcel the Shell with Shoes On” (dir. Dean Fleischer-Camp): A feature length film based on the YouTube short films, Fleischer-Camp returns to the world of Marcel with star Jenny Slate back as the voice of the a tiny shell you will instantly fall in love with. It’s a stop-motion animation marvel that is able to beautifully combine genres together and never once feels like the bit is going on too long. You’ll want to stay with Marcel for a very long time, and he, once you see the film, will stay with you.

“Nope” (dir. Jordan Peele): Yep. Peele leads Daniel Kaluuya, Keke Palmer, Steven Yeun and Brandon Perea, among others, in this beautifully complex and terrifying thriller that never once goes where you think it will. Peele gives all the puzzle pieces to us in the first watch, but repeated viewings continue to make the puzzle more complete. With some of the best crafts and scenes of the year, especially the score, “Nope” proves that Jordan Peele isn’t running out of brilliant ideas anytime soon.

“TÁR” (dir. Todd Field): Cate Blanchette is terrifying and brilliant as Lydia Tár, a conductor preparing for one of the biggest career achievements of her life while also dealing with the consequences of her previous actions. The film asks some incredibly difficult questions and, even with a daunting 158 minute runtime, doesn’t leave anything unanswered. The film at times feels like a horror film, and is incredibly tense and filled with flashes and visions of the past. Repeated viewings will reward with hidden ghosts and a greater understanding of Todd Field’s vision as a writer and Blanchette’s performance, both of which cannot be praised highly enough and will be huge and deserved contenders during awards season.

“Women Talking” (dir. Sarah Polley): The ensemble of the year, the film follows a group of Mennonite women who are discussing the best course of action to take after an incredibly dark discovery. Polley bakes in the questions of what it means to have a voice and how it can be silenced without realization. The entire cast is absolutely astounding (Claire Foy, in particular, gives a stellar performance), and the score and cinematography are simply stunning. It’s a film that asks hard questions and deals with even harder subject matters, but still remains hopeful even in the darkest of moments.

Score: “정훈희” (Jeong Hun Hi or Jeong Hoon-hee) (안개(Fog) 1967)” from “Decision to Leave” (dir. Park Chan-wook)

[ocean-anchored]

Dear future self… April 17, 2023

Ok wow what a week.

I’m really in my yes phase of life. I’m also in a phase I’ve never been in where I have way too many people that actually want to hang out with me. While I have to admit to loving the “attention” & care people have for me, I’m slowly loosing it. I swear when I’m back from Jamaica I’ve got to slow it down. I find my once a week “4 hours if I’m lucky” of quiet time to myself definitely isn’t enough time for me to rejuvenate. I mean honestly it’s something else when I have so many people asking to make plans, I literally have desired that for so many years. Like literal years. It’s just too much that I barley have time for self care & not as much time as I want for God

Went for sushi with Amber & Naythan last week, Jeremiah asked me to a movie (with his roomie so it wasn’t a real date settle down) but I ended up passing cause my week was booked & I needed some downtime. Went to the flames game with Amber, Naythan & a bunch of their friends which was so much fun. Amber is literally my soul sister, we are too much fun together. I watched Theo for an evening & Dustin came over for a puzzle which was really nice & refreshing. I have been wanting to get into puzzling so bad so it was a perfect start.

Went to the roughnecks game with John & my “yes” era continued. We were walking to my car & got vip for cowboys which I would always say no but said why the heck not it was only 9:30. Ended up running into Mac smith which was funny, only stayed a short time and went to courtyard for pool. That ended up being really great. John had a bunch of friends he knew but he also got super drunk. These two guys Sam & Charlie were there just killing everyone in pool. Man was charlie ever a babe. The most mysterious & enticing man I’ve seen in a long time ugh. He ended up staying the entire night & near the end we had such a great intimate & deep conversation about life & relationships & self awareness. He was stupid & said he waited around all night (he was supposed to leave when they got beat in pool which was hours before & I joked around wondering how he was still here) which he said was because he waited for “this moment” to talk to me & connect. I laughed. He did really love my eyes though. But part of me definitely doesn’t trust men that gorgeous haha but regardless, it was a super special moment & because John was being waaaay too “protective” & clearly trying to act like we were together, he didn’t ask for my number which again is totally fine. That moment will hold a little place in my memories. Meanwhile this other guy Justin & his friend Jerry were there played & he was super flirty also. Older which I’m realizing that the older, less games & shit is played and much more honest & upfront which is so refreshing. Anyways he did ask to take me out & got my number. Cute. It was a fun night truly & stayed out way too late for being sober. Continued.... another week because this was saved in my drafts. I ended up going to Justin's place for dinner where he made me a real nice steak dinner. Sometimes I think man if only I could just bring myself to date just anyone, he'd be great. Just like Mitch. Genuine, great guys but they're not christian and I know I couldn't do it. It was a nice evening, he's got his own house, he did a lot of really nice upgrades, his own framing company, his own life. He's set. Just like Mitch is that it could be so easy to just fit in but it's too bad. Makes me hope that there is someone christian like them, good genuine dudes. I met Jeremiah at the park again that week and then pet sit Theo again. Went for drinks with Sasha at Major Tom which was great. I do really enjoy her, sometimes though I still feel there's something missing but I do enjoy her company, I found out she also smokes weed so I mean there's another thing haha. Went to Jeremiah's for movie night with Steven, amanda and Christian. That was lovely as usual. It's funny, near the end of the evening (it's funny how I'm always sitting beside him for these movie nights) he got Theo to come lay down between us and we were both cuddling him. It was cute. Felt like a little moment but I got to keep that out of my head.

Then prep time for Jamaica!!

[rainbow-filmnerd]

My Ranking of the Sohmas from Fruits Basket

Back in late May 2020, I began to watch the 2019 reboot of Fruits Basket (I first discovered it from my good friend @sweet-chinchilla), and it's become one of my favorite anime series EVER. At the end of September 2021, I was finally able to finish the series, and I loved EVERY MOMENT of it! I felt like to do a ranking of each of the Sohmas from least favorite to top favorite (I'll try to keep it brief because there are 14 CHARACTERS to discuss!)

Also, if you haven't read the original manga and/or seen the 2019 anime, there will be MAJOR SPOILERS ahead!

13. Kagura Sohma (my least favorite)

The first female cursed Sohma I was introduced to. As much as I liked Tia Ballard as her in the dub, I just did not care for Kagura. Sure, she eventually moved on from it, but it kinda annoyed me how she kept pursuing Kyo despite him being not all that interested in being her boyfriend. Also, I know she had good intentions to talk some sense into Tohru, but knowing how violent she gets, was it really necessary to SLAP HER?!

12. Hiro Sohma

There was a point where I hated him more than Kagura. I did not like how he was such a brat and jerk when we were first introduced to him, but slowly, I warmed up to him. His crush on Kisa is adorable, and him growing to become a responsible big brother was just too sweet.

11. Shigure AND Akito Sohma (they're pretty much tied in this position)

Shigure is someone I'd like to call a "Sly Dog". He's a bit of a scumbag, but he's well aware of it. He's also one of those characters that's either "lawful evil" or "true neutral". He provides a lot of comedy in the anime including him being just a smart-ass. Also, when he's not acting like a jerk/creep, he's a pretty decent guardian figure for Tohru.

As for Akito, she's a beautifully written antagonist/character in general, and she's definitely someone I pity. Sure, much of her actions are unforgivable, but I feel like she's not expecting everyone to forgive her that easily (or at all even). Also, Colleen Clinkenbeard's performance as her is nothing short of spectacular.

10. Ritsu Sohma

To be honest, he needed way more love! I know people found him annoying, but part of me relates with constantly saying "I'm sorry!" over the smallest of things. He's a gorgeous character that I feel like deserves better. He'd be higher if that were the case, and if not for some of these other characters.

9. Kureno Sohma

I didn't expect to like him that much, but I do! Part of it is that charm that comes with most characters Ian Sinclair voice in the dub (his performance in the s2 finale was especially amazing). He's just a sweet and kind man, and I can see why Uotani fell for him and also reminded her of Tohru. Only complaint I have is that I wished there was a flashback scene of him transforming before his curse broke. I would've loved to see his Zodiac form at least once.

8. Isuzu "Rin" Sohma

Another character I didn't expect to love. Rin is a very tragic character, and what she had to go through was devastating, but seeing her being able to heal was just as emotional. Brina Palencia was amazing as her and is easily my favorite role of hers.

7. Kyo Sohma

Yeah, he's a little lower, but I don't love him as much as the ones that follow. However, he's still a GREAT character, and deserves so much after meeting Tohru. Kyo would sometimes remind me of Bakugo, but he's also a true cat. Feisty, acts like they dislike people but has a real soft spot (especially towards one person). Also, this was my favorite role by Jerry Jewell.

6. Ayame Sohma

The Sassy Snake himself. Oh, how much I LOVE Ayame! Like Shigure, he provides a good portion of the humor to the anime. Chris Sabat's performance as him is mind-blowing but also amazing (since most of his well-known roles are tough guys). Ayame is just so extra, and I love it. Also, his love towards Mine is sweet and I kinda wished we got more moments between them.

5. Momiji Sohma

The boy who was possessed by my Zodiac animal, the Rabbit! I strongly prefer how he looked before his growth spurt, but Momiji is just a precious bunny boy. It is heartbreaking to see that he's suffered and feels sad, but he's just so pure and precious. I hope the one he fell in love with makes him feel so happy.

4. Hatsuharu Sohma

This is who I like to call the "Bi Himbo Ox". Haru was instantly one of my favorites because he just cracks me up, he's super handsome (the studio behind the 2019 reboot really just made everyone look pretty), and also Justin Cook's performance as him. As much as I adore Kirishima, Justin showed off and executed the range of Haru's dumb, sweet, loyal, seductive, and harsh personality. Also, his love for Rin is adorable and him and Yuki is definitely one of my favorite crack ships.

3. Kisa Sohma

The precious tiger cub. I adore this sweet little girl so much, and how she looks up to Tohru like an older sister is so adorable! She's a precious angel that deserves SO MUCH LOVE. And I ALWAYS smile whenever I see her on-screen. And speaking of that last part...

2. Hatori Sohma

I don't know what it is, but upon first introduction, I've been drawn to him and he quickly became a favorite. There's just something so comforting about Hatori, from his kind and no-nonsense personality, prettiness (as mentioned, the 2019 anime animators make everyone look pretty), and his voice (all thanks to Kent Williams' performance). Hatori also has some of his moments of being a little silly, but it's due to the chaos he deals with whenever he's around Shigure and/or Ayame. Out of the Three Musketeers, he's my favorite.

1. Yuki Sohma

He was an INSTANT favorite of not only the Sohmas, but of the entire series, and seeing him grow makes me so happy! I also love how kind and gentle he is, and lemme tell you. This was the first anime I've seen after My Hero Academia, so hearing Eric Vale as Yuki was WILD (same can be said about Jerry as Kyo), because I was used to his creepy and chilling performance as Tomura Shigaraki. But hearing him as Yuki was amazing and it made me appreciate him as a voice actor. SO FREAKING TALENTED. If you wanna know how much I love Yuki, I have his Funko Pop! figure, which captures his beautiful likeness well.

[shimmershae]

My thoughts on Episode 3--Hunted.

 Most of you lovelies already realize this, but my thoughts tend to zig and zag quite a bit, lol.  So.  To save some of you the headache and spare you from seeing spoilers you’d rather not see yet, I’m again placing them behind a cut.  

First things first.  I have totally turned into Yvette Nicole Brown with her TWD notebooks, lol, and I’m not even sorry.  I just felt like it would be fun to go back when the final episode is in the books and see how well my thoughts from these early episodes line up with what I’m feeling when we say our (not-so) final goodbyes.  

But that’s enough about that. Let’s get to this thing.  

It really is insane how very much I love Melissa McBride.  Just hearing her doing the previously on TWD recap voiceover makes me ridiculously happy.  

Cole!  Dude!  We hardly knew ya.  

Not gonna lie.  That first shot of Maggie in all the chaos reminded of a shirt I’ve seen.  It says--”Well, well, well.  If it isn’t the consequences of my actions.”  

I have to hand it to Angela and the rest of her team.  These opening scenes--on all 3 episodes--have been BOMB so far.  They really hook you in right away.  At least IMHO.  

I realize I’m behind the game on this little tidbit, but how much do I adore the fact that Dog is now in the opening credits?  

Okay.  Alexandria might look like it’s been on some kind of post-apocalyptic bender but all our girls are looking beautiful as ever.  Maybe it’s Maybelline, lol.  

I love to see Kelly and Carol still gravitating toward each other.  It really speaks to each woman’s heart.  Carol wants to make amends so badly and Kelly just has the most lovely, warm, forgiving heart.  

Carol’s point about Alexandria still needing the horses to help with the heavy lifting and pointing out the walls and rebuilding won’t matter quite as much if they’re limited by their  hunger and what they can physically lift on their own isn’t wrong.  But I’m sure the same viewers that were okay with Daryl and Co. going out on Maggie’s suicide mission (using the same reasoning) and saying it made sense for the bigger picture will pretend not to recognize that the same element is there in Carol’s desire to go out there and look for the horses.  You know.  Because it was Carol’s idea and not that of their fave(s).  

Aaron, Man.  Or maybe I should say Angela.   You just had to put a pit of dread in my belly mentioning Buttons like that.  RIP, Buttons.  You deserved better.  I’m still traumatized.  

Look at all the babies bonding.  Look at RJ getting to sit at the big kid table.  

“My mom always comes back.”  She damn well better.  Those babies need her.  Until she does, though, Uncle Daryl and Aunt Carol (and Aunt Rosita and everybody else) are going to be there.  

Anyway.  Poor RJ.  He barely ever gets any lines, lol.  

Hershel and Judith are obviously the mini-adults in this group and baby Rhee is already more cynical and jaded than his sweet daddy was until they reached Alexandria and the wheels started to come off.  

So.  Does Maggie just think everybody’s already dead here or what?  Hmm.  

You know.  Any building can be creepy AF when the lights are off and it’s dark, lol.  Any building.  

So much darkness so far this season.  I’m going to have to invest in some blackout curtains.  I just know it.  

Where are all those stairs leading?  Why am I thinking of Hitchcock?  Am I mixing up my scary, suspenseful movies?  Probably.  

Of fucking course, Maggie dropped her flashlight.  Thank goodness she had that lighter at the ready just before Ghost Face Reaper took a swipe at her.  

Is that Father G with a screwdriver impaled in his thigh?  Listen.  These people deserve a Mega Bottle of pain killers and a week just vegging out in a soft, luxurious bed.  

All these horror movie tropes.  Some of them are cheesy, yes.  But I’m totally here for it.  

LMAO.  That’s it, Maggie.  A good old punch in the nuts works every time.  

Alden really is having a terrible, horrible, no good very bad day.  

Negan is still Negan.  Self-serving and looking out for number one.  But I believe the man really does feel the group is his group too.  He’s like that long lost, sketchy uncle nobody wants to acknowledge much less invite to the dinner table, but that bond?  However thin?  Is there.  

I am both hating that Maggie is being forced to work with the man that murdered her husband (my baby Glenn) and finding it fascinating the lengths she’s willing to go to survive.  This your plan, Angela?  

Rosita and Carol!  How sad is it that the last really significant scene I can remember the two of these women sharing was way back?  Before Rick and Co. attacked Negan’s outpost and Maggie and Carol were subsequently taken?  If only the show had done more of these kind of scenes.  

How much do I love all the girls working together?  Gimps would never.  They’d all be stuck back at Alexandria minding the kids and the community.  

Shallow aside--Rosita is so pretty in this scene.  

Rosita being worried about Carol honestly makes my heart hurt, because it’s about damn time more of them actually did.  Her saying Abraham is trying to tell her something in her dreams is interesting.  Angela sure loves her dreams, doesn’t she?  

Where are Daryl’s dreams, hmm?  No.  Seriously.  I guess they want to give some viewers plausible deniability until the bitter end.  

“Really?  We’re just gonna go toward the screaming?  Cool.”  Hahaha.  You know.  Even the smart people in horror movies sometimes bite it, Negan.  Just saying.  Maggie really does need to “stop running up the staircase” when she could just run out the front door though, lol.  

Poor Duncan.  I think you could have been another Tyreese, Jerry type for me.  

WTF does this show have against horses?  Those poor creatures.  

Kelly is totally me right now.  I’d be freaking inconsolable.  

Carol needed that hug.  Thank you, Magna.  From the bottom of this tired fangirl’s heart, thank you.  

Why give us that beautiful, golden shot with the horses when you’re planning to stab us through the heart later and twist the knife.  Oh.  Yeah.  That’s exactly why.  

Oh snap!  Father G’s delivery when he tells that Reaper “I’m not.  God isn’t here anymore.”  Cold as ice.  

Judas.  That the Reapers’ work.  Or.  Damn.  Either way, that’s harsh.  

Back to what Alden was saying.  All these oprhaned children.  Who’s going to take on Adam if he dies?  That poor kid has had a rough go of it.  Knowing that, makes you wonder what Alden was thinking volunteering for the suicide mission.  

Omigosh.  There went Agatha.  Terrible way to go.  Right, Beatrice?  

I’m sobbing.  Carol with the horse.  That hurt my baby so much but she hurt herself for her family the same way she has been doing since the Prison.  Melissa Mcbride?  When she cries, I cry.  Every effin’ time.  Aaron being there just made it hurt more.  But at least someone was there to see how and really take in how she continues to break pieces of herself off to keep her family as whole and safe and happy as she can.  

Rewinding a minute--that Magna and Carol conversation.  I get Magna’s reasoning too.  I do.  But Angela is just making everything so dire right now so that the sun when Connie is ultimate found shines a ltitle brighter.  

Those babies know they’re eating horse.  I could never.  

That’s got to be a different Coco.  She’s even smaller.  But she’s gorgeous.  

Fucking finally.  Angela having the other characters notice after an eternity of being blind to it, just how much Carol sacrifices of herself for them.  It’s so long overdue and I imagine Rosita’s even more worried for Carol now.  It’s a shame it’s taken 11 seasons.  My baby’s had blood on her hands trying to keep her family safe and whole and happy and fed for a long damn time.  So heartbreaking watching her try to scrub the blood away.  

Sweet, sweet hug that Kelly gave Magna.  She’s such a sweetheart kid sis to all of them, isn’t she?  

Interesting place of refuge.  A gutted church.  A visual symbol, Angela, of where Maggie and the rest of our people are now perhaps?  

“It’s easy for you, isn’t it?  Being reckless with sombody’s life...”  Maggie.  Maggie.  Those words would have hit so much harder if we hadn’t spent the majority of the last 2.5 episodes watching you ignore sound advice just because it came out of the mouth of somebody you (justifiably) hate.  

But will Alden be there when Maggie and Negan get back?  That is the question.  Or will he eventually Lucille himself?  

That little bit of lineup Negan music to remind the audience of Negan lovers and sympathizers that he once took great pleasure in murderously swinging a bag at people’s heads was a nice, subtle touch there.  Like agree with her or not, Maggie  is literally left to rely  on the hope, however small it is, that Negan has changed just enough that he won’t try to finish a job he taken on years before--killing what’s left of her.  

Oh lawd.  Next episode sees the return of a character literally nobody asked for.  How excited am I not?  

Dog better not be harmed or so help me.  

Now for Angela’s weekly explanations of WTF she/there were thinking because they been doing this plausible deniability thing so long some people out there watching with biased, muddy stan glasses can no longer separate head canon from canon.  

Is Maggie worried at all about Daryl or does she just assume his superhero powers are in full effect in this episode?  

“You can’t really say it wasn’t going to happen anyway.”  Not Angela pointing out that simply laying the blame for literally everything bad that ever happens at Carol’s feet isn’t the answer.  Say it louder for those in the back.  Alpha was going to do what Alpha wanted to do.  

“There is love there.  There is respect there.  However, there’s also frustration...”  You damn skippy.  Friendships and human relationships are complex AF.  Like Carol. She’s honestly one of the most complicated characters on this show and any show, IMHO.  That’s what makes her so memorable and such a lightning rod for discussion.  

I know I might be in a minority, but I really feel like they need more of those little scenes between the kids to keep things real.  

Kang saying she always feels like she’s going to get murdered in a staircase or parking lot is relatable, funny, and sad all at the same time.  It’s a girl thing.  

Why is Carol’s story giving me Dark Knight vibes?  Like I feel like she’ll gladly shoulder the burden of their distrust, their hate, or their judgment as long as the hard choices she makes keeps them safe.  And she’s still ultimately going to come back to save their asses even when they forsake her.  Just like Bruce Wayne/Batman.  Am I reaching too far, lol?  Because sometimes I do that.  

Anyway.  This is the third episode of the season and the third episode in a row that I mostly enjoyed.  I don’t know if I’m just so relieved and happy to have all the characters and my show back or what, but overall?  I’ve been pleased with the episodes and found something to love in all of them.  

There’s a much stronger horror vibe woven throughout Season 11 so far.  I feel like it’s a return to the roots of the show and I like that.  Literally none of the characters are making perfect choices and this viewer is here for it.  My only complaint so far is there hasn’t been enough Carol but what we’ve been given has felt like a gift and significant in a way that Gimps’ version was not.  Also?  I really hope the trend of the ladies working together and supporting each other continues because they rule the TWD world, lol.  

Hope you enjoyed at least some of my TWD word vomit.  

Until next episode.  

[letsperaltiago]

ok time to break my silence caused by the fact that i spent all day making this lol too many feels 

so.. palm springs thoughts !! and there are manyyyy so buckle up and feeel free to hit me up with either matching or contradicting thoughts or whateveer!! i would LOVE to nerd out about this movie with someone:’)

here comes thoughts and pictures!! 

we basically start off with a mr. samberg sex-scene okAYYYYY the mood is set. we love the view

nyles aka. mr. samberg is the most gorgeous man alive and it was a true pleasure to admire him for 90 minutes straight 

CURLS!!????! THEY ARE UNREAL. i shall dedicate an entire post to them

Cristin Milioti is perfect for her role. her acting? *chef’s kiss* I love that she’s not the stereotypical female rom-com lead.

Her chemistry with Andy? Gosh.. Can’t believe Nyles x Sarah is my new main movie-ship!! They play off of each other SO. WELL. Their characters are equally stone cold and bitter, but then again not really, and they both portray it so well!!

“You don’t ned a leg up.” *moans* “Hold my leg up!” i SCREAMED

“Don’t you kiss me.” “Don’t you tell me what to do.” hoW DARE THEY!

Ok ur basically on love already stop it

The fact that they were just gonna fuck on a blanket on top OF ROCKS?!

but then again in this movie’s already insane universe it’s prob pretty normal:)

The overall dark, existential humor?? This is what I live and breathe for on a daily basis. Basiaclly both main characters are a BIG MOOD

Nyles not giving a shit vs. Sarah severely freaking out in the beginning is an iconic dynamic

“I am the antichrist” and then the rock falling? For a hot sec I literally thought the movie was gonna take a turn with Nyles being some magical/scientific creature that’d created the timeloop or something idkkk ahhha

Nyles in the suit... ridiculous(ly hot)

The torture methods Roy uses on Nyles and the fact that he’s not mentally scarred?? How?? 

On that note I love that Nyles and Sarah keep their memories even if the day starts over. Would’ve been a completely different concept if they had to “meet each other for the first time” every day and it wouldn’t’ve allowed their relationship arc to evolve as it did 

Darla is the fucking shit 

Nyles in the baseball cap, amirite?

THE BARTENDER TALKING ABOUT HITTING A GUY WITH THE CAR SHE’S CURRENTLY GIVING NYLES A HANDJOB IN IS COMEDIC GOLD 

“You fucked Jerry Schlieffen?” “Well he fucked me.” Yes SIR. Andy Samberg’s characters are all bottoms and we’re here for it

Sarah’s tongue click and “nice try” when Nyles asks her about her sex life?? 

IDK WHY BUT SO GOD

Randy is hella annoying. That’s it. That’s the tweet.

THIS ENTIRE SCENE:

the fact that they both start waking up smiling because now at least they have each other 🥺😭🤯

uhm i love a good ship that’s like... best friends to lovers and the montage of them basically becoming besties killed me 

this outfit Y E S: 

sarah falling off the car and nyles laughing it off is relationship goals

the crashing plane I LOL’ED

okay so... big moment... the DANCING AND MATCHING OUTFITS? THEY ARE MY DREAM TEAM. Also how excited they are running away from the bar 🥺

IM POSITIVE THIS IS THE MOMENT NYLES KNOWS! LIKE HE DOESN’T ADMIT IT TO HIMSELF COMPLETELY BUT HE KNOWS 

the bomb in the cake and french pirate-skit? so fucking random but i lovee it because it’s so them

*DRUM ROLL* PERHAPS MY FAVORITE MOMENT IN THE ENTIRE MOVIE: 

STORYLINE WISE AND VISUALLY A++++

the deep talks by the fire were SO well written. they were actually deep and genuine, allowing the characters to grow and opening up to us as viewers but also remained fun and witty

sarah trying to get nyles to admit he cares for her and him joking it off??? the flirtinggg

really wish we’d gotten to know more about what nyles meant with “it drifts away: just like they all do.” because it really seemed to trigger something within him. Like WHO “They”???

the dinosaurs lmao no comment but at least they got a cute cuddly moment

from the very first millisecond inside the tent you can CLEARLY tell Sarah is just dying to do something about them!!!

 the disbelief on nyles’ face when sarah says “lets just get it over with” because she’d clearly stated he didn’t want to and even though he obviously did he’s respected it and not done anything further about it oh babey

we love some good making out:’))) 

NYLES HALTING TO TAKE IN THE MOMENT EXCUSE ME WHILE I GO SCREAM INTO THE VOID 

i will die for a post-sexy timez cuddle and how sarah is trying to staying awake to be besides him is just *explosion* 

this has to be *the moment* she realises 

and they’re both sooooo fucking happy when they wake up after damn love me like that pls

THE GROOM BOOO FUCK OFF CAN’T EVEN BE BOTHERED TO REMEMBER HIS NAME CHEATING SCUM 

THIS FACE:

Baby is trying so hard and is so cute and nervous about it. SARAH LISTEN TO HIM HE LOVES YOU.

HE FELT GOOD WAKING UP BECAUSE OF YOUUUU, GIRL. DO NOT CALL IT “FUN”, SARAH 

“Going to bed maybe just got a little better” 😭😭😭😭

The entire cop scene is just pure insanity, very Lonely Island and I’m here for it even though I just want Sarah to rEALLY LISTEN TO WHAT NYLES IS TRYING TO SAY 

“Pain is real” oh babey that means SO MANY THINGS 🥺💔

“I followed you into that cave because I liked you!” like jake would say: don’t love how we got here but we’re going where i want

“pretentious sad boy” me

not shocked that they’ve hooked up before because c h e m i s t r y but don’t like how it got out :)))

why is nyles’ one sleeve shirt rolled up? im triggered

drinking pure vodka? oh babey its gonna be okay 

WE LOVE A SMART BOI WHO RECOGNIZES HIS GIRL’S PERFUME 

Sarah’s parents singing:)) i would cry too, nyles

"I love her.” “I see... That’s interesting” lmao savage

I actually really love Roy’s character. It turns out to be very humble actually and he has some insightful and lowkey poetic that lines i love. Besides that he’s hilarious. 

SO the whole time i was wondering how they’d get out of the whole “same day forever”-thing, if they were to. and I LOVE LOVE LOVE that they had such a logical way out of it: science. Not anything cheesy like “a true love’s kiss” or “you learned your lesson”. Pure logic and Sarah’s hard work to get there. Huge fan of this. 

I will never get over how good Nyles looks waking up and Sarah is xtra pretty in that scene:’) 

Nyles just wants to stay in a loop forever because it means for sure that he gets to stay with Sarah forever and I’m lowkey into it but also like lowkey LISTEN TO HER AND GO WITH HER PLAN, NYLES

“I wanna stay with you” *sniffles*

“I love you. How about that?” PRETTY FUCKING GOOD 

I love Nyles’ character development. He started off so nonchalant and cold, closed off and by this point he’s the softest, smiliest in love fool I’ve ever seen and Andy does it so good. SAMBERG HEART EYES!!

“Nothing is real in here” YES SARAH UR LOVE IS

I’m taking Sarah’s asking Nyles to believe in her and leave with her as her first “I love you” because it’s very clear that she wants to leave with him rather than without. 

just- this entire scene i ugh <3 <3 <3 <3

BREAKING. UP. WITH. MISTY ! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

glass of wine filled to the brim? sarah’s my type of gal

the speech was really beautiful and sweet without being too cheesy and kudos to cristin for really delivering it like a pro! especially her “abe, don’t fuck this up” like yes girl kill him, chop him to pieces with your eyes!!! also camila is such really pretty bride

nyles looks like a cockatoo here :

nyles taking the shot and smashing the glass into the ground got me 🤭😵😏🥵

“I’m your son” I SCREAM

GIVE THE MAN A WHITE HORSE DAMNIT

Gotta admit Sarah looks like a bomb (lol nu pun intended) ass super hero in her bridesmaid dress and C4-gettup 

The sentence ending up being total grammatical gibberish but Nyles trying so. damn. hard is the sweetest thing ever and should and will go down in rom-com history. It’s super romantic but also well-balanced by humor and I just.. so good. This is the kind of characters and relationships I love and wanna write myself 

“you’re my favorite person that i’ve ever met” 🥺🥺🥺

“i’d rather die with you than live in this world without you” WHY AM I SO SINGLE SOMEONE LOVEE ME LIKE THIS 

okay so idk but “what if we get sick of each other?” “we’re already sick of each other. it’s the best.” is so so so soft, the way nyles says it like it doesn’t matter and is honestly another key moment for me: they’ve experienced basically everything imaginable during their time in the box/loop. they’ve liked, disliked, loved, hated each other and still: he loves her. the fact that nyles knows no matter what happens it won’t stop that because it’s them?? ouch my heart. 

this chaotic mess of a pairing?MESSY BOMB BRIDESMAID AND CURLY-HAIR HAWAII SHIRT-BOI!! MY OTp

Them dissing Nyles’ mom on their way into potential death? that’s love, baby 

the fUCKING KISSSSSSS MANNNNNNNNNN!!!! SO ICONIC AND THE EXPLOSION IN THE BACKGROUND AND JUST WE DESERVE THIS THEY DESERVE THIS EVERYONE DESERVES THISSSS!!! 

NEVER OVEER THIS EVER FOREVER NEVER

Ok so I was SURE that when it faded to black that it was done and I grew super ficking frustrated because it would leave us with this “the ending is up to whatever you chose”-kinda thing kinda a la Celeste and Jesse where it just feels unresolved and I WASN’T OKAY WITH THAT. So I’m so happy we got to know that it worked and the bebes will live happuilly ever after with Nyles’ shaggy dog:’) 

Their hands on each other’s knee >>>>>

all in all 100000/10 

[tilbageidanmark]

Movies I watched this week - 25

Was 1973 the greatest year in cinema?

Besides the ones below, 1973 was also the year of The Holy Mountain, Day for Night, Mean Streets, Badlands, La Planete Sauvage, Paper Moon, Scenes from a Marriage, Amarcord, Oh Lucky Man, American Graffiti, Enter the Dragon, The Sting, The Exorcist...

✳️✳️✳️ 1973: The Spirit Of The Beehive (El espíritu de la colmena) - one of the most beautiful Spanish films of all time.

It’s 1940, and six-year-old Anna lives with her family in an isolated Castilian village. A mobile cinema truck bring Frankenstein to the village.

Quiet, symbolic and deeply moving.

The trailer.

✳️✳️✳️ 1973: The Last Detail, written by Robert Towne, with Jack Nicholson at his peak and with cameos by Gilda Radner, Nancy Allen and Carol Kane. 9/10

“Welcome to the wonderful world of pussy, kid..”

Going to watch the few other Hal Ashby films again.

✳️✳️✳️ 1973: Critically-acclaimed Robert Altman’s anachronistic neo-noir The Long Goodbye, with chain smoking Elliott Gould as unconvincing and bumbling Philip Marlowe.

Also, Arnold Schwarzenegger’s first movie appearance.

✳️✳️✳️ 1973! I don’t know why I haven’t revisited Don’t Look Now for at least 15 years: I always considered it to be Nicolas Roeg’s best film, but it’s actually one of the greatest films I ever saw! Cinematically, emotionally, with extraordinary sound editing (The first 8 min.! The dressing / undressing scene!)..

With Renato Scarpa as the police inspector: ”AH! MIS-ter BAX-ter!”

Simply perfect!

✳️✳️✳️ 1973: In La Grande Bouffe four friends, Marcello, Ugo, Michel and Philippe (played by Marcello Mastroianni, Ugo Tognazzi, Michel Piccoli, Philippe Noiret) decide to binge-eat themselves to death on fine cuisine. A decadent and perverted food and sex orgy, full of excess and anarchy that doesn’t end until the last one shits himself to death. But why?

Bon appétit!

✳️✳️✳️ 1973: Honest cop and whistleblower Serpico fights obsessively against systemic corruption at the New York Police Department.

With Who’s Who of the time in small parts: Hank Garrett, ‘The Mailman’ from ‘Three days of the Condor’, Jack Kehoe, Midnight Run’s ‘Jerry’, James Tolkan as Steiger, M. Emmet Walsh, F. Murray Abraham, John Randolph, Allan Rich ...

✳️✳️✳️ 1973 / First watch - The Wicker Man, a British folk horror number about a Christian copper vs. a Scottish village of pagan heathens. With younger Christopher Lee in a hippie drag.

It had a unique way of combing folk songs, sung by the characters, nearly like a strange musical.

✳️✳️✳️ 1973: Westworld, the robots malfunction and revolt at a futuristic, adult-themed amusement park. Yul Brynner as the original Terminator. 3/10.

✴️                  

Queen of Hearts, a complex erotic drama by Danish-Egyptian director May el-Toukhy. An illicit affair between gorgeous Trine Dyrholm and her stepson Gustav Lindh (From Riders of Justice!). Shockingly explicit sex and unexpected third act reverse expectations and sympathies.

Best film of the week!

✴️            

Jackie Chan’s 1985 Police Story, a “broadly” choreographed slapstick / martial arts film. With young and chubby-faced Maggie Cheung, before she became world-class gorgeous.

✴️           

This isn't a rental car - it's privately owned.

How come I’ve never seen David Byrne’s True Stories before? Written by Ned Ryerson himself. Kooky characters in small town Vernon, TX. inspired by actual supermarket tabloid stories. Like Nashville for the 80′s..

✴️                

Crimes and Misdemeanors, a classic Woody Allen nihilist drama with a dual storyline that still holds its power.

“The eyes of God are always watching us” .

Toddler Dylan Farrow appears in a cameo at the wedding, and a distinct sub-plot has Allen wooing his teenage niece by taking her to see old movies and buying her art books... So, yuck to that part.

✴️              

“It’s good to be king.”

Mel Brooks’ 40 year old class-conscience History of the world, Part 1 - narrated by Orson Welles, with cameos by John Hurt as Jesus and Hugh Hefner, who also supplied the harem of vestal virgins. While ‘The Meaning of Life’ which came 2 years later was about philosophy, this was about history.

But everybody had such pearly white teeth.

✴️                     

I started watching Jojo Rabbit 3 times before I could finish this pretentious Holocaust comedy of revisionist Nazi-chic cuteness. A ten-year-old Hitler Youth boy finds out that his mother, Scarlett Johansson, is hiding a Jewish girl in their attic. Kitschy, cowardly and lazy. This is not ‘The Great Dictator’ or ‘The Producers’, or even ‘Look who’s back’. It’s Hitler 101 explained to 10 year olds who never heard of him.

I wonder how they got the rights to The Beatles and Bowie songs.

Also, Hitler was not a smoker. 2/10. (Photo above)

✴️                 

Picked up a random Apple’s TV series, Home before dark, about a 9 year old girl playing a journalist. I tried to get into it, and saw 2.5 episodes, but it was so ordinary, and soul-less, and full of teenager flick cliches, that I had to quit. Even the Jason Robards quotes from ‘All the President’s Men’ couldn’t help it. PASS!

✴️               

✳️✳️✳️ Woodward and Bernstein X 2

So, prompted by the series above, I watched All the President's Men again (for the 10? time). What a masterful film! Romancing investigative journalism never looked so good.

With a script by William Goldman, cinematography by Gordon Willis, and Robert Walden playing Donald Segretti.

The sparse score by Michael Small, who was Pakula’s go-to composer (and which I already mentioned here earlier)! Compared to his Parallax View theme.

True fact: Frank Wills, the black security guard who discovered the break-in, was fired without explanation a few days later. He was out of work for three years until he played himself (one day's work) in this film, and never had a full-time job again, until his death in 2000, at the age of 52.  

✳️✳️✳️ Also, All the President's Men Revisited, a 2012 documentary featuring all the players, and just before Trump, so they all could comfortably predict that Watergate will happen again, but none of them realized how terribly soon it will be.

✴️          

The company Men is about 3 senior executives trying to survive during the financial crisis of 2010 after getting fired, downsized, becoming redundant.

The Corporate-speak sounded fake, and Ben Affleck is not a good actor, so it wasn’t too engaging. 3/10

- - - - -

(My complete movie list is here)

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #397

“you’re my religion, you’re my reason to live  /  you are the heaven in my hell”

Do you think that you’ll always love who you love now? Even if we're never together again romantically, I will ALWAYS love her at least as a best friend. Have you ever made out with a random person? Yeah, no. If you could do your first kiss over, would you? No. I'm lucky that my first kiss was honestly cute as hell. Do you like your country’s president or prime minister? Well I voted for him, so I obviously can't hate him. He seems to be doing fine so far, though take that with a grain of salt seeing as I don't keep up with politics. Even before voting for him, I just did a small bit of researching on his values. What color is your house? Yellow with white accents. Do you listen to Christmas music during the holiday season? No, I don't enjoy it. Man, Jason's mom sure did, though... I loved how in the spirit she'd get and always played Christmas music in the car during that time of year. I miss that woman and I sure as hell hope she rests easy now. Do you like ginger ale? Solely if I have a stomach bug, and I can only ever sip it. What are you listening to? "Electric Sugar Pop" by Jeffree Star. What’s the last thing you watched on TV? The TMS office has the TV on, and the woman who overlooks it (I have zero idea what her position is called) tends to have it either on a cooking channel or a home improvement one. Today was a cooking one. Is your favorite author the author of your favorite book? I don't have a favorite author. Describe someone you find really attractive: M-Mark Fischbach. *___* If you HAD to look like someone else, but could choose who, who would you choose? Hm... maybe my friend Alon. I've mentioned I feel like a million times that she is like, ethereal with how gorgeous she is. Have you ever seen someone get a tattoo done? If so, what was it? Did they cry or were they in a lot of pain? Yeah; it was a watercolor feather with "ohana" written below it. She didn't cry at all, but she grit her teeth a few times. Do you have anything you couldn’t go a day without? Some form of technology. Have you ever gotten caught doing something illegal? No. What’s your favorite flavor of Vitamin Water? I don't even think I've ever tried it. Is there someone you wanna date right now? Yeah. What first attracted you to the last person you kissed? If we're talking the very first, our vast similar interests. How many brothers does your father have? None. Does your best friend have any tattoos? No. Do you like Ben + Jerry’s? Yep. Man, I want their Phish Food ice cream now. Would you ever wish to be the opposite sex? Nah. Do you think you’re attractive? Nope. What is your favorite card game to play? Magic: The Gathering. I really miss my PS3 where I had Duel of the Planeswalkers installed on it, it was really fun. Do you own a globe? I don't think we still do. What is your favorite wild cat? Perhaps clouded leopards. If your bedroom had three portals to anywhere, where would they lead? South Africa, Sara's place, and maybe a nice little cabin in the mountains for when I'm feeling a peaceful getaway. You can ask any author one question about their story. What do you ask? I have zero idea. What’s a place you have a strong emotional connection to? The pond behind the local community college. Jason and I took our first prom pictures there. Do you take yoga classes? No, but I'm actually considering it since they offer those at the YMCA Mom and I now go to. What is a decision you’ve made that changed your entire life? To let Jason go. It's pretty great, my PTSD has been less of a bother lately! Have you ever made any money from a side-hustle? Could you consider being paid to take pictures once in a blue moon a "side hustle" when I don't even have a main job? Do you ever wonder what kind of person you’d have turned out to be if a certain event never happened to you? Ugh... it's incredibly painful to wonder how life would be if Jason never left. If you could have anyone’s singing voice, whose would you choose? Adele's or Amy Lee's, probs. What are your top 3 favorite genres of music? Metal, hard rock, alternative. Do you think Mars will be colonized in your lifetime? No. Have you ever been homeless? If so, what led to your homelessness? Technically, yes, because Mom couldn't afford the rent. She, my little sister (who still lived with us at the time), and I each were accepted into the homes of willing, kind people, though. Have you ever been on a ship? No. Who was Van Halen’s better singer - David Lee Roth, or Sammy Hagar? David. Which fictional character has the most memorable quotes? Heath Ledger's Joker is quoted all the time, so probably him. What do you think of the "Healthy At Every Size" movement/philosophy? Before I answer this, I want you to keep in mind that this is coming from someone who is obese, so I would positively love to agree with that for my own self-confidence, but I don't. I believe it's a very dangerous mentality. I think you should cherish your body unconditionally, like it's an amazing machine, but I firmly believe you should have an active interest in becoming what is physically healthy. You couldn't pay me millions to convince me that, say, a 300 lb. person is healthy. What was the name of the first person you ever had a crush on? Why did you like them? I think my first *real* crush was this guy Sebastian my freshman year of high school. I thought he was very sweet, funny, caring, and attractiveness was a bonus. What food will you absolutely not, under any circumstances, eat? Sashimi, caviar, raw eggs... Which famous person would you like to be BFFs with? Bindi Irwin, for one. What kind of natural disaster is most common where you live? Hurricanes. Have you ever had an animal get into your attic? No. Have you ever been bitten so hard that there teeth marks were there after? I mean I've had hickeys before if that's what you're asking. Ever gave one? Oh, I guess you were. Yeah. Do you think its weird if guys wear make-up like eyeliner? Not at all. Would you ever date a disabled person? (Be honest) Yes. Would you rather adopt or have your own child? IF I wanted kids, I'd rather have one myself because I'm well aware I personally need that special connection. Stepkids count, too, because they'd be my partner's and therefore very important for me too. What is the most personal question you have ever been asked? Probably TMI, so here's your fair warning, but I've been asked before if I "touch" myself and I was absolutely repulsed that someone would ask me that. Were you abused by your parents? No. If you’re not straight, who was the first person you came out to? Sara. Were you one of the smartest in your class? Up to finishing high school, modestly, I was. Where did you meet your first crush? Art class my freshman year of high school. Do you ever go places with wet hair? Yeah, idc. Who is your favorite little girl? My niece Aubree. She's such a wonderful girl. Does your best friend have kids? No. If you were pregnant, would you want a boy or a girl? Hypothetically, a girl. What place outside of your own home do you spend the most time at? Um, maybe my older sister's house? Have you ever participated in a medical study? No. Do you have any family members who are cancer survivors? Yes, including my mother. Twice. Are you allergic to any medications? None that I've tried. Do you have any licenses other than your driver's license? I don't even have that. If you’re atheist, would you raise you kids believing in God or not? No; I wouldn't intervene with their own spiritual (or lack thereof) journey. They'd learn what they'd learn and decide themselves what they believe. Do you like reading self-help books? No, I just can't get invested in those. What is your opinion on sex change? If you're unhappy with your body, you're more than free to surgically change that with no judgment from me. Do you have any goals for this summer? If so, what are they? Yes, to lose weight. Can you get a strike at bowling? I have before. There was one occasion where my first go was a strike RIGHT after saying I sucked at bowling, hahaha. Do you ever take pictures of negative moments? Well, I photograph roadkill, and that's one hell of a sad moment. I actually wouldn't mind broadening my horizons of photographing negative moments (with permission of course), because I actually find these very impactful and even builds empathy. I will never, ever forget this one picture I saw sometime of an emaciated boy huddled in the dirt with a vulture close by watching him... like fuck, it made me want to sob. No one should ever have to live like that, especially a child. Would you ever post a picture of yourself crying on social media? No. I know that sounds contradictory to what I just said, I just wouldn't be able to do it myself. Have you ever held a newborn baby? Once, when my last niece was born. I'm terrified of holding them because they're just so fragile. Do you know anyone who has twins? My friend just had triplets. What is your favorite country in Europe? Germany. Are you thriving in your life right now? BOY HOWDY- Do you remember to water plants? I don't keep plants. Name three YouTubers you aspire to be like. 1.) Markiplier in a vast plethora of ways; 2.) Jeffree Star for his incredible work ethic; and 3.) Shane Dawson for his incredible compassion. Yes. I know the controversy, but regardless, he cares a lot about people. Who is your favorite character from Harry Potter? I wouldn't know, given I haven't read the books or seen the movies. Do you watch PewDiePie? Not anymore; his content doesn't interest me anymore. I watched him religiously back in the day when he was a serious let's player, though. Do you have a Steam account? Yes. Have you ever played Five Nights at Freddy’s? No, not personally. I like watching LPs of it and I find the story fascinating, but it's not the kind of game I'd enjoy playing. Have you ever tried Akinator? Yes. I don't think I ever beat it, except maybe once. Are you wearing socks right now? No; unless I'm wearing closed-toe shoes like sneakers, I never do. I hate the feeling of them. Can you twerk? Haven't tried, don't wanna. Do you like dabbing? No, it looks stupid. Do you like fishing? I honestly do think it's fun with all the anticipation and thrill of seeing how big the fish is, however I don't support it anymore unless, like hunting, you genuinely need it for food. The only case where I'd go again was if my dad asked me, because that's always been our bonding experience. Do you have a Spotify account? Yes. Have you heard of Blizzard Entertainment? Well, they're the company behind World of Warcraft, so obviously. Do you like bananas? Yes, but only for a VERY short window of time. I am beyond picky with the ripeness of bananas. Are you addicted to anything? Caffeine and technology. Do you know your phone number? I actually don't. Do you swear in front of children? No.

[timeaftertime-chriscornellfanfic]

Chapter 36 - She Lives In All The Things That I’ve Known

Discovery Park Seattle Washington, July 20 1990

(Andi is 20, Chris is 26)

ANDI: "Come on babe this is stupid," Chris whines as he tries to peak through the blindfold, " I already know where we are,"

"Ok Mr. 'know it all' where are we then? -And hey! no peaking," I say as I lead him through the grass.

"We... um... we are outside," He says with a smirk.

"No shit Sherlock," Jeff chortles and Chris frowns looking in the direction of Jeff's voice as I laugh.

"Would you just tell me where we are?" Chris says as he stumbles a little because he still can't see through the blindfold.

"We're almost there," I giggle as I continue to lead him down a small hill with Jeff behind us.  A few steps later we finally reach sand and I turn back to face Chris, still holding his hand while Jeff runs ahead towards the fire.

"Ok, stop," I say when I place my hand on his chest, feeling him flex through his plain black t-shirt. "You can look,"

He reaches up and lifts the blindfold just a little to peak at me and smirks, then takes the blindfold off completely flipping his long curls that had fallen across his eyes.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!" Everyone shouts from the fire pit.

"What the-?" Chris laughs when he sees everyone. "Did you do this?"

"I had a little help from Susan," I say as Susan walks up to us.

"Hey girl," She says sweetly to me when she places her hand on my shoulder.

"Hi," I turn and smile at her as she embraces me in a hug.

"Don't worry, Stone had the same reaction when he showed up too," Susan says when she pulls away from me and Chris chuckles.

"Happy Birthday Chris," Susan smiles, and lifts herself up to place a quick kiss on Chris's cheek.

"Thank you," Chris says shyly.

"C'mon," I say to Chris as I pull on his arm and he just gives me that shy smirk as we head towards the fire pit.

*****

Sitting around the campfire, the entire gang of us laughing, drinking sometimes even singing while the glowing flames from the fire crackle and roar, I sit on a blanket in front of Chris sipping my beer while he is firmly planted on one of the logs that some of the boys brought over to sit on.

"Fuck, man you didn't have to get me anything," Chris says as Kim passes him over a box with a ribbon wrapped around and an envelope with Chris's name scribbled across the front.

"Of course I did, it's your fucking born day alright?" Kim says and takes a sip of his beer.

"Dude -"

"Just open it," Kim says and Chris laughs. He takes the box from Kim setting it on his lap while I watch and sip my beer.

Chris flashes me a raised eyebrow and then slowly opens up the box first. Kim glances at me and I suppress a smile because I know exactly what is in that box.

"Holy shit, no fucking way," Chris smiles as he pulls out an original copy of The Beatles Sgt. Peppers album that was actually signed by Paul McCartney." Babe, look" Chris smiles and had it over to me. I take it from him and look it over. Kim had only just told me about it and it was really fucking cool to see it in person.

"Sorry it's not John or anything but - "

"Oh my god, no...! this is amazing," Chris smiles and gives Kim a hug. "Thank you,"

"You're welcome. I know it's not quite what Andi got you but -" Kim starts but I glare at him and shake my head to try and signal that I haven't given Chris my gift yet. "- um wait no... what am I thinking - ?" Kim chuckles as he tries to cover up that he let it slip. Chris pulls away and looks back and forth between us both.

"What? Wait... what'd ya get me?" Chris asks me.

"Ok... well... ok, give me a sec," I say and hand him back the record. He takes it from me and I rise from the blanket, take one last sip of my beer as I adjust my leather jacket, I lean down to him and give him a quick kiss on his lips and make my way around Layne, who was laughing with his girlfriend Demri Perrott on his lap, then head away from the circle, to the red '86 Chevy van - the one that we use to tour in now and for such camping trips like this - and slide open the large door to retrieve Chris's gift. I honestly didn't exactly know how to wrap it so, I just wrapped a red ribbon around it and tied it with a bow.  

Once I have it, I slide the door shut and try to figure out a way to carry it back to the fire without him seeing what it was. Once I'm able to hold it behind me I walk back to the fire.

"Babe?" Chris smiles at me confused as I reach the blanket and stand in front of him while everyone else continues on with each other. I carefully bring it around and hold it out for him and instantly those blue eyes of his light up with wonderment.

"Holy shit," Chris says. It was a 1989 jet black Duo Jet Gretsch with a solid white pick guard - a re-issue of the 1955 model.

"I thought maybe you would like one of your own," I say as he takes it from me still wide eyed.

"Baby...?" He trails off just staring at the guitar he held in his hands. I then sit down beside him where Kim once sat - he seemed to be off somewhere, probably drinking a six pack with Jerry behind the van or something - and I swing my leg over so that I was facing Chris.

"How did you...? I mean where did - how...?" Chris attempts to speak still looking over the guitar.

"I have my ways," I smirk, moving just a little closer to him. He pulls off the red ribbon, rests it across his lap and begins to pluck at the strings.

"Happy Birthday," I lean in and whisper in his ear, moving a few of his curls and placing my lips to his earlobe. He leans back into me, then turns and places his lips on mine, soft and gentle at first and I deepen the kiss as I cup his face in my palm, feeling his stubble on his cheek and the beginnings of his moustache against my lips. After a couple of moments, he pulls away and leans into my ear.

"I love you so much baby," He whispers sending shivers all over my body.

"And I love you baby," I say quietly and he places a kiss to that spot under my earlobe as the laughter from everyone and the fire roaring fills the summer night air.

*****

"Ugh, I need to pee, Andi will you come with me?" Demri says as she bounces over to me sweetly, her gorgeous dark hair all around her. Ever since Xana decided to basically cast me out for whatever reason, Demri and I have become closer. I guess, according to Demri, Xana has a habit of turning on her friends like that.

"Um, sure," I smile at her. I lean into Chris who was laying down on the blanket beside me puffing away on a cigarette while he and Jerry converse about pretty much anything a drunken mind would come to, and let him know I was taking a walk with Demri.

"Hey, don't get lost ok?" Chris raises his eyebrow at me, pulling me back to him and I giggle as he places his lips on mine.

"Don't worry Chrissy, I'll keep her safe," Demri winks at him when I attempt to get to my feet. She takes my hand to help me up and we laugh as Chris just shakes his head at us and chuckles as he takes another drag of his cigarette.

We leave the campfire and head towards the wooded area that was near the shore of the Puget Sound. Once the light from the campfire no longer lit our way, Demri flicks on the flashlight as we try to find the perfect spot for her to go pee.

"You think we're far enough away yet?" I ask.

"Yea, ok I think this is good enough. I'll go first," She says and hands me the flashlight.  To be honest I didn't really have to go myself but maybe I should just in case. This is probably the only thing I absolutely hate about camping. Having to pee in the woods. Usually once I'm drunk enough I pretty much don't care at that point, but I still hate it. After she finishes, she comes back over and takes the flashlight while I go and take my turn.

"So are you excited to marry Chris finally?" Demri asks with a smile when I pull my jeans back up.

"Yea, yea I am actually," I giggle.

"My god, September is coming up quick... do you have your dress yet?" She asks.

"No, I should probably get on that eh?" I say as I walk over to her.

"Well yea, I mean Susan and I are definitely going to be there with you, and I'm so happy you asked me to be your brides maid, But we should go dress shopping, I know the perfect little place for a dress," She says sweetly.

"You know you two can wear whatever you like... I mean I feel kinda bad that I can't buy all three dresses,"

"Awe no, Andi it's ok, you're not obligated to buy us anything, it's your day," She says and I giggle as she wraps her arm around my shoulder and touches her temple to mine. She is so sweet. I love Demri so much.

"Andi?" She asks after a few moments of us walking.

"Yea?" I say as I make my way through the low hanging branches.

"What is it like to time travel?" She asks. I wasn't exactly expecting that kind of a question so it caught me a little off guard.

"Oh, um... well... it's um - "

"I mean, I just never actually seen you do it so, I mean Xana told me about the time she saw it happen, but..." She says.

"Oh, well um... it's kind of hard to explain really," I say as we walk slowly through the woods.

"I just think it would be so cool to actually travel through time y'know? See what the future would be like, or revisit a place you always loved..." She says thoughtfully.

"It can be, but sometimes..." I trail off, not exactly sure how to tell her that most of the time I hate it. I hate how it's always taking me away from Chris and that I hate how it's always taking me to places I'd rather not go.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to - " She stops us and looks at me with those dark eyes full of worry.

"No, no it's ok. I mean... I know it probably seems like the best gift someone could ever have, to be able to travel like that but in reality, it's not exactly practical. If I could control it, maybe I wouldn't find it hard, but I can't so it can really suck sometimes," I explain.

"Yea, I get ya," She says. "But, I just think it's incredibly romantic how Chris has known you since he was so young and just how you time traveled to meet him for the first time,"

"Well... technically I had already met him, then I time traveled and that's when he met me... and... my god it's complicated to explain," I say and she giggles.

"It's ok I know what you mean," She smiles.

"Wait what time is it?" I ask.

"Um, I don't know... after 1am I think,"

"Shit, I need to get back to the van," I say and we walk a little faster.

"Is everything ok?"

"Yea, yea I just forgot to take my meds, that's all," I say. We finally make our way out of the woods and back to the campfire and I head straight to the van as I hear Chris asking Demri where I was going. I reach the van and slide open the door to see Kim passed out in the back, so I reach for my duffle bag and try not to wake him up.

"Babe, you ok?" Chris says a little slurry as he walks up behind me.

"Yea, yea I'm fine, I just needed... um... nothing actually," I say as I push my curls behind my ear while Kim groans, then begins to snore.

"Demri said something about medication, or something" Chris says placing his hand on my lower back while I unzip my bag.

"Um... yea, well it's nothing really... just something my doctor gave me to um..." I try to think of how to explain that I didn't exactly tell Chris about the Lorazepam that I was prescribed.

"To what?' Chris asks and I finally pull out the bottle.

"It's to help with my seizures... so I don't time slip," I practically whisper as I open up the bottle and pour out two tablets into my hand and place the bottle back in my bag.

"I thought you couldn't take any medication for it?" He asks as I grab a bottle of water from the cooler. Kim groans again and I wince trying to remember to be quiet.

"I can, it's just that nothing had worked before so I just never took anything. I just y'know, I would play instead," I whisper as I look up at him and place the two pills in my mouth and take a sip of water.

"When did you start taking them?" Chris asks. I give him a look, wondering why he's asking so many questions so I turn back and close the van door to make sure Kim doesn't wake up.

"Just recently. I had them for a while but I just didn't take them until after the time slip in Germany. We were so busy and I didn't have time to relax and just work on music so I started them the night I came back from that time slip, " I explain.

"Ok... why didn't you just tell me then?" He asks. I honestly don't know why I didn't tell him.

"I didn't think it was a big deal," I shrug as he keeps his eyes on mine, seemingly searching to see if I'm really alright. "I'm ok Chris I promise... if you hadn't noticed, I haven't had a time slip since the bus in Germany so they must be working,"

"I know...," Chris says as he pushes a few stray curls out of my eyes.

"The only reason I'm taking these is so I don't slip. I'm just so worried that what if I get so nervous at our wedding that end up time slipping, or what if something happens and we end up not getting married at all, or something changes and I'm totally different or -"

"Baby, it's ok, I get it," He says and I look at his chest, seeing my engagement ring on the silver chain that lays against his plain black shirt. He then draws me into his arms and I place my cheek against his chest, my arms wrapping around him through his soft black jacket. His arms feel so amazing around me. I wish he could just hold me forever and never let me go. Too bad I always seem to disappear even when I feel the safest with him.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," I say quietly.

"You need to start trusting me with telling me stuff. You know you never have to hide anything from me. If you're going to be my wife, we need to tell each other everything, no matter what ok?"

I sigh against him hearing his deep voice through his chest that sounds so soothing. He's right. I'm so used to travelling through time and not telling people anything because I can't tell people anything. Even when it's a matter of life and death.

"Why do you even want to marry me?"

I didn't exactly mean for that to come out but it's true. Why would he want to? Why would he want someone like me?

"Because I love you more than anyone I've ever loved in my entire life. Because I can't for one single second imagine my world without you in it. No matter when or where you are, I know you will always come back to me,"

"How do you know that?" I ask, my brow furrowing as I look up at him and he cups my face in his palms.

"I have no idea," Chris smirks and I couldn't help but giggle. " I just do,"

[curtisandlewis]

The Truth about Paul and Jer Chapter One

Dean/Jerry

Almost safe for work (Teen)

Summary (771 words): A frustrated Jerry Lewis sits down at his typewriter to type the truth of how he met the most important man in his life.

AO3 Link 

Some Things to Look Forward to: Implication Oral Sex: Penis

Notes: My plan and my HOPE is to work on the chapters to this fic and on December 28, 2021 post everything I’ve written. 

Ratings for fanfiction

Safe for work (general audiences) Description: Nothing that generally needs content warnings (besides smoking or alcohol) or trigger warnings. Suitable for all audiences with the added bonus of homosexuality and gender non conformity.

Almost safe for work (Teen) Description: may contain content warnings, trigger warnings, and talk of sex without description

Not Safe for Work (Mature) Description: May contain content of a violent or sexual nature that isn’t described explicitly.

Not Safe for Work (Explicit) Description: May contain content of a violent and/or sexual nature with explicit description. It is strongly advised the reader is mature and knows what they can handle.

I’ve told a lot of stories over the years. If anyone kept track I bet they’re pretty damn confused. I confuse myself sometimes. It started out the lies were necessary then the lies became a part of life. Well, that ends now. Every word I type on this paper is the truth.

The first time I saw Paul it wasn’t on a street corner or coming out of an elevator. Those events did happen but not in that order. The year was 1942 in Midtown Manhattan at a small diner I would eat lunch in.

I was just about to enjoy the world's best egg salad when the entire contents of the sandwich landed on my tie and shirt. It felt like the perfect metaphor of my life at that point. With my career in the shape it was at the time that sandwich was the only thing I had to look forward to.

A stranger's snicker turned my self pity into rage. I turned to the sound and the rage left as quickly as it came. Sitting there was the most gorgeous PERSON I had ever seen in my life. It just so happened that person was a man with tremendous sex appeal.

I have enough words to describe his appearance and the things it did to me to fill a book. I’ll sum it up as the man took all my clever words from me and left me staring and possibly drooling.

“Lick it,” were the first words Dean Martin ever spoke to me.

I didn’t even take a moments breath worth of hesitation before lifting my tie and lapping at it with my tongue. The egg salad dripped down my chin.

“Anything else you want licked?”

Paul laughed. This handsome man thought I was FUNNY. I loved him.

A man handed me a stack full of napkins and I started wiping off my face.

“At least I’ll have the taste of egg salad to hold me over till dinner.”

“Was it good,” asked Paul.

“It’s the best!” I pointed to my shirt and said, “want some?”

Paul smiled. It was almost as beautiful as his laugh. You could see the little wrinkles on the sides of his eyes that became more prominent with each year of the California sun. He looked real cute. You know how in High-School they teach ya’ about that Shakespeare fella? And this schmuck named Romeo is spillin’ his heart out about Juliet being the sun. That’s what it felt like. Paul was my sun. The light after an entire life’s worth of darkness.

“Tell ya’ what if I buy you a new one can we split it?”

“You bet.”

I don’t know where he got the money from. Paul was always in hawk up to his neck. I once saw him ask his mother for a quarter. He took the seat next to me and seeing him up close threatened to make me a drooling mess again.

“You got a name, Kid?”

“Joe. My stage name is Jerry Lewis but you can call me Joe.” I wanted to say, “you can call me yours.”

“Stage name? You in show business?”

“Yeah,” I replied, dipping the napkin in a glass of water and scrubbing out the stain from my shirt. “I’m a comedian.”

“I’m a singer. They call me the dark and handsome voice,” he said with a kind of self deprecating humor. “You can call me Dean.” He presented his large hand for me to shake.

It should be said that Paul was never this chatty with anyone else. I wasn’t acting like myself either. If I wasn’t showing off then I was a pretty shy kid. I would have never had the nerve to talk to someone like him. I would be too busy thinking why in God’s name would they even look at a person like me? I took Dean’s hand and he made me feel like a child. His grip was firm and again, he never shook anyone else’s hand like that. When our skin made contact I swear I felt electricity. It was a spark that made us want to keep talking and not let the other walk away. We always had an x factor, an undefinable force keeping us together. I like to think it was the hand of God guiding us to be something better than ourselves, a pairing that could change the world. At that moment I didn’t know we would be professional partners but I felt in the very core of my being we were destined for greatness.

[dlwritings]

Firecracker Soul | Dean Winchester

Chapter 5 - Movies and Masks

pairing - mob!Dean x teacher!ofc

word count - 5,236

warnings - language, thigh riding, Dean is so sweet your teeth will hurt

additional notes at the end

(previous)

On Saturday, Alice was excited to get breakfast with Christine. Even though she knew Christine would tease her endlessly about her date, she also knew she'd give her so much support. Christine was very vocal about how much she hated Greg, so she had been ready for Alice to jump back on the dating horse ever since she pulled back into Lawrence. She knew Christine would be over the moon that Dean was as amazing as he was.

Alice beat Christine to the cafe, but as soon as Christine walked in, she all but ran to the booth. She slid in and waved the waitress over. "Hey AJ," she said. "We'll have our usual." AJ laughed at Christine's assertiveness before nodding and leaving the pair. Christine put her elbows on the table and her chin in her hands. "Tell me all about him."

And she did.

Alice raved about the flowers, the dinner, and the drinks they had after. She decided not to spare any details, sharing how respectful Dean was when she didn't want to go any farther but also how badly she wanted to keep kissing him forever. "Wow," Christine breathed out, smiling dreamily. "He sounds perfect. What does he look like?"

"Mm," she hummed. "Tall, but not too tall. Muscular, but not too muscular. Sharp jaw. Gorgeous eyes. The perfect amount of stubble on his face."

"How old is he?" Christine asked.

Ah yes. The question she was dreading the most.

"He's a little older," she said, sipping her coffee.

"How much older is a little?" Christine asked. She was on the verge of smirking, able to see right through her friend. Alice didn't say anything, just kept her mouth on her coffee mug. "Alice," Christine pressed. "How old is this guy?"

Alice sighed. "41. I think."

"41!" Christine repeated. "Alice, you're 22."

"I know how old I am," she said. "It's not like he's a grandpa or anything." Christine laughed. "What?" Alice said. "I like him. He's nice, and he's hot! And he's mature, and he has a real, adult job, and, and he respects me." She shrugged. "Plus -I don't know- he takes care of me. We're not even together-together, but it's like I already know he'd protect me if I needed it. Not that I would, but-"

"Dude," Christine said before sipping her own coffee. She put her mug down, leaned back in her chair, and folded her arms across her chest. "You have a daddy kink."

"What?" Alice almost hissed, getting closer to Christine as if to tell her to quiet her voice. "I do not!"

"You so do," Christine laughed, sitting up in her chair again and putting her elbows on the table. "You love this age difference. You want him to take care of you, and-" She laughed again. "God! You're his little sub already. I'm so ready for this guy to pop your cherry."

"Why are we friends?" Alice asked, rolling her eyes and drinking her coffee again to hide her blush.

"You'll tell me all about it, right?" Christine asked. "Like how big he is? And how much of a dom he is? And-"

"I'm not gonna tell you about it because today is the last time I'm ever going to hang out with you."

"Shut up," Christine said with a grin. "You love me." Alice rolled her eyes and took a bite of her eggs. "And he was nice when you told him you were a virgin?"

She nodded. "Yeah. He felt bad for asking. Said it wasn't his business." The corners of Christine's mouth turned slightly as she nodded with a quick shrug.

"He's not wrong," she said.

"I don't even know why I said anything," Alice said. "It just came out. I was so flustered."

"Well, you've had a weird week," Christine said. "I'm surprised you're handling it all as well as you are."

Alice shrugged. "You know me. I've been through worse."

-

Dean walked into Sam's house with a smile on his face. Hannah had an event through work that evening, so they pushed family dinner to Sunday. Still, Dean thought he'd stop by and visit his brother. "Anybody home?" he asked.

"Living room!" Sam called. Dean walked through the house and plopped on the couch beside his brother.

"Where're Jess and Lex?" he asked.

"Shopping I think," Sam said. "Told me it's a girls' day. I'm not allowed to know." Dean laughed, and Sam looked away from the TV and at Dean with furrowed eyebrows. "What's got you so happy?" Before Dean could even answer, Sam's eyes grew wide in realization. "Your date with Alice," he said. "You're telling me that's got you like this?"

"It might be," Dean said with a shrug, trying to appear casual. Sam shoved Dean and turned his body to face him.

"I never thought you'd actually tap my daughter's teacher," he said with a laugh.

Dean shook his head. "I didn't hook up with her." Sam looked confused. "No, we went out for dinner and had some drinks back at her house."

"And you didn't sleep with her?" Sam asked.

Dean scoffed. "Is that all you think I do?"

"Pretty much, yeah," Sam said. "I thought you weren't one for the dating game."

"I went on the date for Lexi," Dean said sarcastically.

Sam rolled his eyes. "So you didn't even try to sleep with her?"

"Well, I wouldn't say that," Dean said, folding his arms across his chest. "I started to, you know-" Sam nodded and waved his hand so that Dean wouldn't explain any further. "She freaked out. Told me she's a virgin."

"A virgin?" Sam repeated. Dean nodded. "I thought you only liked experienced girls."

"God, shut up," Dean said with a roll of his eyes.

"You think you'll see her again?" Sam asked. Dean licked his lips with a small nod.

"I'd like to," he said. Sam was quiet for a moment. Dean could tell he was thinking something but holding back. "Spit it out," Dean said. Sam looked at his brother, then sighed.

"What's your endgame here?" Sam asked.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Dean asked.

"This can't just be one of your games," Sam said. "She's so young, man. She's got a whole life ahead of her. And whatever happens is gonna affect all of us. So what're you gonna do? Take her on a few dates? Show her what a good time is? Break her heart in the end?"

"Jesus Christ, Sam," Dean said. "You really think that little of me?" Sam shrugged. "Frankly, what I choose to do with her is none of your business," Dean said.

"Whatever man," Sam said, holding his hands up defensively. "Just thought I'd put the thought in your head."

It wasn't that Dean hadn't already been thinking all of that. He didn't know what his endgame was, but what people did? Did everyone go into meeting a person planning out their whole future? So he took her on a date. So he wanted to see her again. Maybe they wouldn't be forever, but what was wrong with living now? He didn't want to play a game of chase that just ended in him fucking her. Not anymore. Like he'd always said, if he wanted his dick sucked or a girl to fuck, he had numbers on speed dial. Hell, Amara, Jo, Bela, and Anna were practically on standby. He liked Alice. This was more than just adding a girl to his black book.

What that more was, he just wasn't sure yet.

The day wore on uneventfully. When the sun set, Dean was alone in his penthouse, sitting in bed and watching TV. He had this weird desire to text Alice, like his phone was burning a hole in his pocket. Was it too early to text her? He had only seen her yesterday. Should he step back?

He felt like a teenage boy. This was stupid.

Alice jumped when her phone buzzed on the bed beside her. She picked it up and held back a wide smile.

Dean: What are you up to?

She bit her lip and swiped to respond: Just in bed watching a movie

He texted back just as fast: What movie?

Her thumbs hovered over the screen. She could lie and say something cool, like an action flick or even a horror. Instead, she said, You're gonna laugh at me

Dean: Swear I won't

She smiled and decided to tell the truth: Tangled

Again, Dean was quick to respond: The Disney movie?

She pouted and wrote, You swore you wouldn't laugh

Dean: I'm not laughing!

Alice: It's a good movie

Dean: I'm glad you're enjoying yourself

This made her smile. I am, she wrote back. The only thing that could make it better is ice cream

Dean: Yeah? What's your favorite?

She laughed. Hmmm. That's a heavy question, Dean

Dean: Is it?

Alice: Yes. Yes it is. It varies from day to day. Right now I think it's Ben and Jerry's Cinnamon Buns. Sometimes it's Milk and Cookies

Dean: Hm. I've never had that

She furrowed her eyebrows. Those flavors or Ben and Jerry's? She grinned, then added, Or ice cream in general?

She could imagine Dean rolling his eyes. Ha ha, he sent back, sarcasm evident in the text. Ben and Jerry's

Her jaw almost dropped. What? That's crazy! It's the superior ice cream brand

Dean: Okay okay! I'll have to give it a try

She held down the text so she could react with a heart, then locked her phone and put it back down, resuming play on Tangled. After a few minutes went by, she got bored. She decided to grab a facemask from her bathroom and put it on and maybe do her nails. It had been a while since she had a nice, relaxing night. She picked one of her favorite clay masks and applied it, then picked a baby pink shade for her nails. When she pressed play on the movie again, Rapunzel was leaving her tower for the first time with Flynn. By the time they got to the Snuggly Duckling, her apartment's buzzer went off. She furrowed her eyebrows, paused her movie, and walked over to the intercom, trying not to touch anything with her wet nails. "Hello?" she said, pressing the speaker button.

"Hey, sweetheart. It's Dean. I come bearing gifts. Can I come up?"

Crap, she thought to herself as she remembered she still had her mask on. It hadn't dried yet, but there was no way she'd let Dean see her that way. She'd have to rinse the mask off before he got upstairs. "Yeah!" she said through the intercom. "Come on up!"

She buzzed him in and ran as quickly as she could to the bathroom. The mask was mint green, and she was bummed that she didn't get to have it long enough to do its job refreshing her skin. But there was no time to dwell. She washed the mask off -messing up her nails in the process- and patted her skin dry just as she heard the knock at her door. She ran over and whipped the door open. "Hi!" she said with a smile.

"Hey," Dean said. "I brought you something." She cocked her head to the side, and he lifted the grocery bag he was carrying. She was able to see through the plastic, and she smiled widely.

"Ice cream?" she said. He nodded, and she let him inside and closed the door behind him. He went into the kitchen and pulled out one pint of Cinnamon Buns and one pint of Milk and Cookies. "You didn't have to do that," she said, though she was so glad he did.

"I know," Dean said, placing a kiss on her forehead. When he pulled away, she noticed his eyebrows had furrowed.

"What?" she said. A smirk grew on Dean's face as he reached up and wiped his thumb on her forehead. He showed her his thumb which had a little smudge of green on it. "Crap," she muttered, putting her hand on her forehead.

Served her right for acting too hastily.

Dean laughed and put the ice cream in the fridge, then followed her into the bathroom where she went to wipe her face off again.

"What is it?" Dean asked her, leaning up against the doorframe as he watched her.

"I was doing a facemask," she said with a slight pout.

"Well why didn't you leave it on?" he asked.

"I looked weird!" she said. "My face was green like a martian."

"Your facemasks are green?" he asked.

"One of my facemasks is green," she said. "I have black ones and orange ones and clear ones and purple ones." Dean raised his eyebrows, and she just laughed and opened one of the drawers so she could lay out all of her facemasks. Dean whistled lowly before chuckling.

"What's the point of all these?" he asked.

"They do different things," she said. "Some of them are supposed to help your blackheads, and some are supposed to refresh you or make you feel cleaner. I think they're just fun." She looked up at him and bit her lower lip.

"What's that look for?" he asked, folding his arms across his chest.

"You could do a facemask with me," she said, putting her hands behind her back.

Dean laughed. "Yeah. No way."

"Please?" she whined. "I think you'll like it. It'll make you feel so relaxed."

No. He would stand his ground. He wasn't going to let her-

"Please?" she said again. And then she had the audacity to flutter her eyelashes, and Dean jutted his jaw out and sighed.

"You're lucky you're cute," he said. Her smile broke across her face and she stood on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek.

And no. He did not blush.

"Alright," he said, clearing his throat. "Which one are you giving me?"

She picked out a clear sheet mask for him and decided to grab one for herself too since she wasn't able to let the clay one do its job. She opened the package and pursed her lips at Dean. "You're too tall," she said. "I can't put it on you when you're, like, half a foot taller than me." Dean grinned then licked his lips and moved to his knees in front of her. He was eye level with her stomach, and she couldn't help the way she shivered.

"Is this alright, sweetheart?" Dean asked, lightly squeezing her hips. She giggled nervously and jumped out of his touch.

"Mhm," she hummed. "That's better."

She forced herself to focus as she unfolded the mask and laid it on his face, making sure the eye holes and mouth hole were where they needed to be. She tried not to burst out laughing. She was sure the last thing this tough, rugged, 40-year-old man ever expected he would be doing on his knees in front of a girl was applying a face mask. "Are you laughing at me?" he asked, attempting a serious expression under the mask. She bit her lip and shook her head no. Dean stood up from the ground and took a step towards her. Her back immediately hit the wall. "Nowhere to run," he said. She licked her lips and put her hand on his chest.

"Well," she said, "you can't kiss me with the mask on. And that stays on for twenty minutes." Dean scoffed, and she gently pushed him away so she could sneak past him and put her own facemask on. Dean stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. They were standing in front of the mirror, and she couldn't help but grab her phone from the waistband of her sleep shorts. She opened up Snapchat and put one hand under her chin, snapping a picture of her and Dean. He laughed as she put a filter over it that said my face at 9:56 PM. She saved the picture and posted it to her story before she and Dean moved away from the mirror and went to sit on her bed in front of the TV.

"I'll grab the ice cream," Dean said.

"Spoons are in the drawer to the left of the sink," she told him. Dean came back with the two ice cream pints and spoons, handing her one of each. She looked and saw that he handed her Cinnamon Buns. She opened it at the same time that Dean opened his. She put the ice cream on the side table and got her phone out again.

"What're you doing?" Dean asked as he started to dig his spoon into the ice cream.

"I have to film this," she said. "This is a historic moment."

"It's ice cream."

"It's Ben and Jerry's!" she said back. "It's scientifically better than any other ice cream."

"Oh really?" Dean said patronizingly, cocking his head to the side.

"Yes," she said with a firm nod. "Ben-" Dean raised his eyebrows. "-co-creator of Ben and Jerry's," she clarified, "can't smell. And smell affects taste, so they put bigger chunks in it so he can at least feel their texture since he can't taste them."

Dean laughed. "Why do you know that?"

"Jeff Goldblum has a show on Disney+ and he talked about it on an episode," she said. Dean raised his eyebrows again and she rolled her eyes. "I like Jeff Goldblum and I like ice cream. Sue me. Now let me record your first bite."

"You know," Dean said, "as good as this might be, it's got nothing on, like, authentic gelato. You know that right?"

"Shut up and eat your ice cream."

Dean took his first bite of Milk and Cookies while she pointed her camera at him. He struggled to make sure his mask didn't slide off as he shoveled his spoon in his mouth. She looked at him expectantly, and Dean shrugged. "I've had better." Alice gasped and gave Dean a shove, still holding record on her phone. Dean laughed and pulled her onto his lap, and her finger slipped off the screen, promptly stopping the video. Her phone fell to the side as she straddled Dean's waist and played with the hairs at the nape of his neck. She wanted to kiss him, but she was not going to allow him to take the mask off. It would go against everything she had told him earlier. So, she adjusted herself on his lap and turned so she was facing the TV.

Dean held back a groan as she wiggled on his lap. He held her hips and watched as she picked up her phone, saved the video, and posted it to her story. She grabbed the ice cream she abandoned and took some of it with her spoon. They switched between ice cream flavors, sometimes feeding a spoonful to each other. After a while, they weren't hungry anymore, so Dean moved her off his lap and went to the kitchen to put the ice cream away before it started to melt.

It was time to take their masks off, so they went to the bathroom and took them off, throwing them in the trash. She rinsed her face off, patted it dry with a towel, and looked in the mirror to see Dean staring at her. "Why're you looking at me like that?" she asked, adjusting her shirt a bit.

"Sorry," Dean said, forcing his eyes to focus on hers again. "Just looking at your pajamas. They're different than the ones you wore when I was last here."

She chuckled. "Well yeah," she said. "I have lots of pajamas. Don't you?" Dean smirked and ruffled his hand through his hair.

"Well, I usually sleep in my boxers," he said. "So I guess I have a lot of pajamas, too." He could tell his words made her flustered by the way she blushed and looked away.

"Pajama sets are like a weakness for me," she admitted, quickly shifting the subject. "I buy them way too much."

Dean hummed in understanding, pulled his own mask off and rinsed his face, then dried it off before looking at her with a smile. "How do I look?" he asked.

"Refreshed," she teased. "You're glowing."

Dean's smile widened, and he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close to him. "So," he asked, his lips so close they were tickling hers, "do I get that kiss now?" She giggled and put her hands on his cheeks.

"Mm, that is what I said, isn't it?" she said. Dean scoffed and leaned down to press his lips to hers. She kissed him back, letting her thumbs brush across his smooth skin. Dean surprised her by lifting her up and sitting her on the bathroom counter. She hooked her ankles around his waist and slid her hands to the back of his head, holding him closer to her. His hands moved under the back of her shirt, resting his palms on the small of her back. His hands were rough, covered in calluses he must've accumulated over the years. She wondered how. Office work didn't usually result in beaten hands.

And why was she thinking about this right now?

When they parted, she let her forehead rest against his. He chuckled and pecked her lips once more before stepping back so she could jump off the counter. "Alright," he said, "I gotta know how that movie ends."

They ended up back in bed, Dean's arm wrapped around her, holding her close to him. She had her head rested on his collarbone, and he kept trailing his fingers up and down her arm. She absolutely hated how badly she wanted to kiss him. She could hardly control the urge she had to hop on his lap and suck his face like her life depended on it. She hadn't even realized she had been wiggling so much until Dean squeezed her hip. "Why're you so squirmy?" he teased. She looked up at him as he ran his tongue across his lower lip.

She took a deep breath and sat up, straddling his waist. His hands immediately landed on her hips, and the playful glint in his eyes had vanished. She kept her hands braced on his shoulders as she leaned forward and kissed him. She slid her tongue past his lips, and he moaned and moved one hand to the back of her head. She didn't notice the way her hips had begun grinding against his, but she did notice the moan that escaped Dean's lips. He pulled away from her and started kissing down her neck.

His hand that was resting on her waist slid up slowly, palming her breast over her shirt. She let out a shaky breath and rolled her hips against his again. "Sweetheart," Dean said, fighting back another moan. "Ah fuck, you're killing me."

"Sorry," she whispered, stilling her hips and resting her forehead on his shoulder. "I just, I wasn't thinking." She let out a surprised gasp that quickly turned into a moan when Dean pinched her nipple through her shirt. He knew what was going on. Exactly what was going on, and he was sure she knew it too. She was just too embarrassed to say it.

Dean started kissing her neck again. "It's okay," he muttered. He grabbed one of her thighs and moved it to rest in between his legs so she was straddling his thigh instead of his hips. She wasn't meeting his eyes, so he lifted her chin to make her look at him. Instead of saying anything, he pressed his lips to hers. He bit her lower lip, drawing out a soft whimper. He started kissing her neck and tugged at the hem of her shirt. "Can I take this off?" he whispered. Dean noticed her grip on his shoulders tightened. He moved his face from her neck so he could look at her again. "You remember what I said yesterday?" he asked. "I don't want you to be nervous around me, and I never want to make you uncomfortable. You can say no. You can always say no to me."

Alice swallowed nervously, and Dean stroked her cheek. His lips curved up in a small smile. "I can just see you're a little-" He hesitated with a chuckle. "-frustrated." The apples of her cheeks turned pink, and she hung her head again. He lifted her chin. "You can say no," he said. She took a deep breath in through her nose and out through her lips.

"Can you take yours off first?" she asked. She didn't want to be the only one without some clothes on, and even though she knew showing him her breasts was a lot different than him showing off his pecs, she didn't want to be alone. Luckily, Dean was sweet. He smiled and placed a chaste kiss to her lips.

"Course," he said. She pulled back from him so that he could grab the collar of his shirt and pull it over his head. He tossed it to the side and ruffled a hand through his hair. She put her hands on his chest and ran her fingers over a tattoo that was on his left pec. It was a star in a circle with some sort of black waves around the circumference.

"I like this," she whispered.

Dean chuckled. "Thanks. It's kind of a, uh, family crest." She nodded and still didn't meet his eyes.

Okay, she thought to herself. It's not a big deal.

She grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head, immediately looking down rather than meeting his eyes. "Hey," Dean whispered, "look at me." She did. He pinched her chin and smiled. "You're so beautiful, sweetheart."

She never did this sort of thing. She was with Greg for almost two years, and it took her almost a year to feel comfortable without her shirt on in front of him, and that was as far as they ever got. She had known Dean for a week, and she was already submitting to what he said, melting under his words and soft touch.

She was already in deep.

Dean kissed her, cradling her head in his hand, before trailing his lips down her neck. She felt him suck and leave a mark on her skin before kissing it and moving down to her breasts. He noticed a scar on her upper left side. "What's this?" he muttered, letting his thumb brush across the mark. She flinched, and he stopped kissing her chest to look up at her.

"'S nothing," she said, shaking her head. "I'll tell you another time."

He nodded, respecting her boundaries, and moved his left hand to knead her breast, pinching her nipple as she let out a shaky breath. He kept doing that while bringing his lips down to her right nipple. The feeling made a shiver run up her back, and she instinctively put her hand on the back of his head. She could feel him smile as he flicked her nipple with his tongue, sucking it between his lips until it was hard. He switched actions then, putting his mouth on her left nipple and keeping his hand on her right.

Soon enough, she was grinding down on his thigh. Her movements were nervous and hesitant. Dean pulled his lips away from her chest and put his hands on her hips to start guiding her movements. He made sure she moved slowly but firmly, dragging her clit up and down his thigh. She could feel whimpers in her throat, and she was embarrassed by how much she liked what was happening. She rested her forehead on Dean's shoulder and continued moving her hips with his hands. "You look so pretty like this," Dean muttered, kissing her shoulder softly. "Does it feel good, sweetheart?"

"Mhm," she hummed. "Feels, feels so good." Her fingers that were gripping his shoulders started digging their nails into his skin as she let out a soft cry. She could feel something building inside her. She may never have orgasmed before, but she wasn't so naive that she didn't know what was happening.

"Dean," she breathed out. She buried her face in his neck, and her eyes were squeezed shut.

"That's it, baby," he said. "Cum on my thigh." Her breath caught in her throat as the coil inside her snapped. She whimpered his name, and her nails dug stripes across his shoulder. Dean praised her softly in her ear, and he helped her slow the movement of her hips to a stop.

She was breathing heavily, her body collapsed against him. Dean wrapped his arms around her and ran his fingers up and down her spine. "Good girl," he cooed. He kissed her cheek, and she let out a breathy laugh.

"Wow," she whispered. "I can honestly say I didn't expect this when you brought ice cream to my door."

He laughed. "Neither did I." He kept tracing her spine. "Was that okay?"

"Yeah," she said, her voice coming out barely more than a mere breath. She laughed lightly. "I think I'm gonna put on some other pajamas." He chuckled and kissed her cheek again.

"Not a bad idea," he said.

Alice got out of bed and walked over to her drawers to get out a new pair of pajamas. She excused herself to the bathroom, and as soon as the door was closed, Dean let out a heavy breath. His cock was throbbing in his shorts, and all he wanted was to take care of it. Instead, he forced himself to think of anything to get his mind off of it.

By the time she came back out of the bathroom, he had gotten his erection under control. He smiled at Alice. The look on her face was a mixture of post-orgasmic bliss and pure innocence. He had never seen a look like that on anyone's face before, and it was so cute on her. She walked over to the bed, seeming somewhat nervous. "You don't have to stay if you don't want to," she said, playing with the hem of her shirt. "But, you can if you do want to."

Part of her felt pathetic for saying it. How needy was that? Sure, a small part of her wanted him to stay. Okay, maybe a big part of her, but that was so clingy. She quickly shook her head. "Nevermind," she said. "You don't, I mean, like, you can stay, but I totally get that you probably don't-"

"Alice," Dean said with a chuckle. "Do you want me to stay?" She shrugged, her teeth worrying into her upper lip like they so often did. Dean shook his head with a grin and patted the bed next to him as he got under the covers. "You're on breakfast duty tomorrow," he said.

She tried not to show how eager she was as she skipped over to bed and got in beside him. She immediately cuddled up to his chest as he put his arm around her. He kissed the top of her head, and she hummed contently. "Goodnight, Dean," she whispered.

He smiled. "Goodnight."

He may not've known what his endgame was, but one thing was for sure.

He was already in deep.

----- ----- ----- -----

A/N - I never thought I’d find a video of Jensen doing a face mask but here we are

(next)

series masterlist found here

general masterlist found here

----- ----- ----- -----

add yourself to my TAGLIST

@bangtan-serendipity | @planetdemon | @the-singing-clown406 | @tomshufflepuff | @bluelalal | @grandloser | @jackiehollanderr | @mindset-jupiter | @bisexual-sk8r | @feel-like-gold | @runaway-apple | @miraclesoflove | @marvelismylifffe| @wonderbyers | @coraz0ndcristal| @lizmarvel | @delicately-important-trash | @superhoorny4daddy | @eunomiasloane | @dvnmbabe | @superavengerpotterstar | @akshi8278​

If you want to be taken off the list (or be put on for only certain people) just message me and let me know!

[detroitbydark]

Have Yourself a Merry Airport Christmas (H.O.) Chp 2

Title: Have Yourself A Marry Airport Christmas

Chapter 2: You’re a Keen One, Mr. Brit.

Summary: You thought your holiday had been ruined until a handsome Brit steps in to rescue your Christmas spirit.

Word Count: 3000+

Authors Notes: This chapter is so self indulgent, particularly the beginning. I'm unrepentant. As before this remains to fluffiest of fluff. No Warnings.

Tags: @aossi​ @the-southernbelle​ @hoforhaz​ @tomsrebeleyebrow​ @skymoonandstardust​

“A bucket list? Like that thing before you die?” You ask a little incredulous. Harrison laughs, your face must show your confusion because he takes pity on you.

“Darling, I’m talking about your Christmas Bucket list.” He explains with raised brows as if it’s common knowledge.  “The things that you just can’t have a holiday without. Like, My family always watches The Polar Express-“

“I love that one! We always watched Scrooged and A Christmas Story.”

Harrison nods, his already bright eyes light up and he gives you a toothy grin. “That’s it exactly! Also, I love Bill Murray. You’ve got excellent taste.” 

It’s silly but you feel your cheeks heating up. You giggle at his praise.

“Ok, so now you tell me something on your bucket list.” He encourages. He leans his elbows on his knees waiting for your answer. You think for a moment. What were those things you had to have?

“Tourtiere” you say slowly, letting your mind roll through your families traditions.

“That’s French, yeah?”

“Yeah, I guess, i think it’s more French Canadian? it’s this meat pie we eat every year on Christmas Eve. Oh! And Tom & Jerry’s!” You say enthusiastically

“A what? Like the cartoon?”

“No, no, no…it’s a drink” you laugh and Harrison smiles as you ramble on. Just talking about Christmas at home seems to magically transport you back in time. You're a child sitting on the red shag carpeting at your grandparents. Your Grampa is sneaking your pieces of chocolate out of the 5lb box he’d picked up at Sackley’s. Your Mother is shooting him dirty looks because she’s told you to eat your dinner five times already.   A virgin Tom & Jerry is cooling at your side and you use a spoon to scoop the sweet foam and eat it. The lights twinkling on your Gramma’s ancient artificial tree along with the tacky fiber optics she adored. Everything is right with the world as Bing Crosby songs a song about a White Christmas. 

“Sounds good. An American thing?.” He questions. 

You shake your head as you slip back into the present “Nah, it’s pretty specific to the part of Michigan I’m from.” Harrison is quick to make notes on his phone. 

You feel yourself wilt a little remembering that those are things you're missing as you speak. Harrison notices too, “what else? Tell me more. Don’t stop.” He pokes you gently in the shoulder, gathering your attention back.

“Don’t act like I don’t know what you’re doing” you tease, giving him a faux tight-lipped face. “Ummm...presents, of course, and hot coffee and fresh oranges or apples in the morning.”

“My mum always did pastries, sausage and eggs for Christmas breakfast.” He adds. 

“My Great Grandmother grew up during the Great Depression and they never had much for Christmas.” You explain trying to remember your Gramma’s stories, “she’d get,like, hair ribbons and pencils and would be so excited. But they lived on a dairy farm in Wisconsin so fresh fruit in the middle of winter was something crazy, especially like citrus fruit.” You can’t help but smiling at the memory. “My mom always went out and found the biggest, prettiest apples and oranges and put them in our stockings. We were allowed to go through our stockings before the adults got up but we had to wait for them to wake up to get our presents from Santa.” You pause, pulling a face “I feel like I’m talking a lot.”

Harrison moves closer so his knee is bumping against yours, “I like it. Don’t stop.” 

You chew your bottom lip trying to fight back a smile. Your gaze drops to your hands and then begins a slow scan of the gate around you. It’s cleared out a bit, you’d heard plenty of people on phones trying to secure hotel rooms and the like. There was still a good number of people around but it’s wasn’t nearly so crowded and people had more room to spread out. Some of the tension seemed to ease off too as people accepted their fate and tried to make the best of it. Nearby a few soldiers had pulled out a deck of cards and were playing what sounded like a rousing game of spades. By the window, a pair of small children race matchbox cars up and down the sill. A small tree with colored lights twinkles at the gate desk, it’s worker long since vanished.

“We put a pickle on our tree. An ornament” you clarify, not looking away from the tree. “The kid that found the hidden pickle got to open the first present”.

“I’ve heard of that.” He says scrolling through his phone and finding a picture. When he turns it, you’re greeted with one of the most gorgeous trees you’ve ever seen. It’s easily takes up the corner of the room. It’s needles are blue green. it’s full and bushy. You can almost smell the scent of pine just looking at it. White lights and gold ribbon twinkle and shine. Cream, gold, and deep burgundy ornaments cling to the branches and a bright glowing star sits at the peak just barely brushing against the ceiling.

“That’s Mum’s big tree” Harrison says proudly. “It sits by the fireplace and it’s the first thing you see when you come in. She has a smaller one she puts all of the ornaments my sister and I made over the years on. That’s where the presents go.”

You take his phone and let your fingers graze along the screen. “It’s gorgeous. I bet it looks even better in person.”

“Absolutely stunning” he agrees taking his phone back when you offer it, your fingers graze his and you feel a little spark travel through your hand. You don’t look at him but you can hear the deep breath he takes before starts speaking again “I’m...I’m missing her wassail this year. it’s like a spiced wine?.” He chuckles lightly, “now that I think of it quite a bit of our tradition involves alcohol.”

“All the best do” you offer with a wink and a nudge of your elbow.

The pair of you spend the next few hours talking about your families. You sound like a pair of excited children comparing traditions and holidays past. You reach a lull in the conversation and the two of you watch travelers mill by. Harrison inspects the list he’s been making. 

“Ok so I think we need to split up for a few? The shops are open for a bit longer and I need to get some things if we’re going to do this right.”

You laugh but realize he’s serious, “Harrison, we just met. You don’t have to do anything for me.” 

He gives you a soft look, “I want to do something to take my mind off things and if I can cheer you up while I do it? I’m pretty chuffed about the idea!” 

You can’t help the shy smile you fight back. When was the last time someone went out of their way for you. Here was an absolute stranger willing to spend his Christamas Eve and Christmas Day with the sad girl he’d just met for no other reason than to see her happy. 

“Can we just say we’re doing this for us?” He asks when you don’t respond back immediately. You nod, biting your lower lip to keep your smile at bay. Harrison doesn’t bother checking his as he pushes off the ground. He grabs your hands as he goes, pulling you up along with him. Your hands stays in his for an extra second before you pull away. He gives you a smirk, “So now we're going to split up.”

You’ve only just met him and you already feel hesitant to leave. You’ve always been accused of having an awful poker face and Harrison only confirms it. “Do you trust me?” The question startles you. 

You answer without hesitation. 

That startles you even more.

“Yes.”

“Alright then. You’re in charge of dinner tonight. I’ll take care of tomorrow, yeah?” You nod as Harrison continues, “give me your phone” he holds out his hand, palm up, and you quickly fish in your pocket. When you hand him your phone he quickly sets himself up as a contact and calls himself. “Ok, now that we can get up with each other we’ll do what we’ve got to do and meet back here in a few hours. Sound good?”

He’s wandering around one of the handful of airport shops that were still open. Today was definitely turning out to be a lot more interesting than he’d originally thought when he’d first seen his flight was canceled. He couldn’t help himself when he’d spotted you hiding under your hoodie. Alone. Like he was but so much more sad. It had radiated off you in waves and had drawn him to do something, anything to make it go away. 

He’s just finished grabbing a travel toothbrush and toothpaste. His bag was probably already at Heathrow already but regardless of where it was, he didn’t have it and he was going to need to get rid of some wicked morning breath tomorrow. His phone rings as he grabs a tiny bottle of mouthwash.  Tom’s ugly mug stares back at him before he swipes to answer it.

“Ello?”

“Harrison? Don’t tell me you got grounded.” He can hear the teasing tone in his friend's voice. Harrison picks up a Beanie Baby snowman from a display and tosses it in his hand for a moment before setting it back down. 

“Fine, I did NOT get stuck in Boston due to a stupid fucking snow storm.”

Tom laughs loudly, barking into the phone. Harrison holds it away from his ear until he’s sure he won’t rupture an eardrum listening to it. 

“Have you got a hotel. From what they’re saying on the news you’re likely to be there through tomorrow night at least. The whole north east is a mess.”

Harrison grabs some different candy bars, some bottles of water, a few various other little bits and bobs. He wishes he had a buggy because his arms are getting full. The older man at the counter catches his eye and encourages him to make a pile. Harrison nods in thanks as he unloads and starts moving around again. “Nah, I’m here for the duration I think.”

“Bullshit, I’ll make some calls-”

“Tom” Harrison interrupts before his friend can get to far ahead of him, “I’m spending Christmas here with a...friend.” The line goes silent for a moment.

“A friend…” Tom tries the words out slowly. Harrison picks up a travel sized fleece blanket and adds it to the pile along with a few things from his list. “Harrison Osterfield, you’re the only lad I know who gets snowed in at an airport and picks up a girl.”

Harrison makes a dismissive sound, “Not like that. Just two lonely souls finding one another on Christmas Eve.” It sounds a bit dramatic and cliche even to his own ears. It makes him smile.

“A proper Hallmark movie, you are” 

“Shut it Holland. She’s nice and she’s missing her family.” Harrison takes one last look around the store before handing his credit card to the cashier.  

“Well, I’m still making some calls.”

“I figured you would.”  Harrison takes his bags and fights back an eye roll. 

Tom couldn’t help himself. He was one of those people born to be a helper and, if you asked Tom himself, he’d tell you he’d been blessed with the opportunity to help and so he would. Harrison wonders idly what you would do if Tom did come through with a room. Would you come along with him or would that be the end of your budding friendship. He’d had a good time talking to you. He’d loved how your eyes lit up when you spoke of your family, even if he saw a hint of sadness when you spoke about how long it had been since you’d been home, or when you’d slipped and admitted they weren’t always supportive of your pursuits. His family was the exact opposite, so was Tom’s. It was hard to imagine any family not wanting to put all their love and strength behind someone going after their dreams. It made him want to make a night of sleeping in an airport something fun and memorable for you. 

“At this point I’m fine where I am man. Don’t worry so much. Did your Mum and Dad get in before the storms got bad?” He changes the topic to something Tom couldn’t help but talk about; his family. 

Nikki and Dom Holland were supposed to fly in with Sam and Paddy to spend the holiday in Atlanta. Harry had been with Tom for the last month. It was the first time in recent memory they’d have the whole family back together.

“Thank God! Yes! I would have been a fucking mess if they’d gotten stranded.” 

Harrison grins, “well tell them I say ‘hey’ and Merry Christmas.” 

Tom rambles on for a few minutes about the dinner Sam was cooking and marveling over how big Paddy was getting before the conversation starts winding down.  The sound of Paddy’s infectious laugh bleeds into the phone. “Hey, I’ve got a few things to do let me let you-” 

“Sounds like a plan.” Tom cuts him off. Harrison can hear him holding back his youngest brother. He hears the youngest Holland asking ‘Is that Haz? I wanna talk to Haz!’. Tom sounds out of breath and Harrison can only imagine him spinning in circles and holding his baby brother at arms length. “Tell your new lady friend, Merry Christmas for me!”

Harrison laughs as the phone goes dead. He wanders slowly back toward the meeting spot. He hadn’t noticed when he was rushing around but the airport had been neatly decorated for the holidays. Faux pine garlands hung across most shops and the occasional wreath decorated the front of the different gate attendant’s stands. 

A huge tree is simply decorated with white light and red and gold bulbs next to the massive Light up Boston sign created for tourist and instagram pictures. There’s a mother positioning a sulking teen in the gap where the ‘T’ should be.

“Come on Chad!” She encourages bringing her camera up. “Be the ‘T’. Put your arms out”. 

Harrison snickers loud enough that the kids hears him while jutting his arms straight out at his sides. He doesn’t smile but the mother seems to get the picture she wants and tells her son how excited she was to put it in her scrapbook. The kid gives her a soft smile at this. 

Harrison sees  you already back in your spot as he gets closer. You’ve got your phone held up. You must be FaceTiming your family. You’d mentioned earlier that you’d planned on doing it. He can’t help but frown at your strained smile. Your jaw is tight and your free hand is balled into a fist in your lap. 

His lips press into a firm line as crosses to you. Your eyes go wide as he appears next to you but you’re quick to turn your attention back to the woman on screen.

“I’m fine Mom. Really” you force the words out with another plastered on smile. 

“You’re sleeping in an airport, I wouldn’t actually consider that fine.” Your mother's tone is reproachful, “why didn’t you just get a hotel room. You’re always putting yourself in these situatio-“

“Mom” 

Harrison watches your cheeks flush red as he slides down into a sitting position next to you, his body just out of frame. 

“It isn’t in the budget.”

 He catches your eyes darting his way. You’re not sly. He lets his hand creep to your free one and gives it a little squeeze. You’re looking at your mother but your smile is suddenly less forced.

He feels yours fingers twine with his and give a gentle squeeze back. There’s a flurry of activity on screen and suddenly there’s other faces popping into screen, a dark haired man and a small boy’s face. Your smile widens as you see them.

 “Auntie Y/N! Merry Christmas!”

“There’s my little bud-“

“Alright Y/N. Please be safe” your mother starts, effectively cutting you off. Harrison losses site of the new comers as your mother must turns the camera from them.

“Your brother and the kids just got here” she continues in “and I’m going to get them settled in”

“Oh...ok.”  Harrison can hear the disappointment in your voice. He watches quietly as a flurry of ‘I love you’s’ flies back and forth before the screen cuts to black.

“You good, Darling?” Harrison asks after you put your phone away. 

“Perfect.” You force out. It’s clipped but you smile widely and he doesn’t want to push it. Your eyes wander to the bags at his side and you lean closer. He chuckles and tucks them behind him.

“No peeking until Christmas.” He chides. Your smile turns to something much more natural as you laugh. 

“Well fine than. You’re no fun.” You pout playfully before moving your own shopping bags into view.

Harrison watches you sit back, and begin pulling things out of a bag. “You ready for Christmas dinner?”

You dine on luke warm hot pockets that you’d instructed Harrison to pretend were meat pies. Baggies of fruit snacks are to be the substitute for cranberry sauce. He’d got a good laugh at the airport sized bottles of Baileys and rum you’d shown him hidden in your bag and stared at you curiously after everything had been packed and you’d all but dragged him through the terminal to Starbucks. You’d ordered two peppermint mochas and, as discreetly as possible, poured the contents of the bottles into each one.

“Boozy cocoa” you explained, with your arm looped in his while the pair of you strolled around the terminal. You drag him to a large window that looks out over the runways. The pair of you watch the plow trucks try to keep up with the snow.

“It’s pretty. Shitty, but pretty” you note and he laughs, watching you from the corner of his eye. The way the snow reflects the light leaves you softly lit. You're relaxed and leaning slightly into him. 

“It’s gorgeous.”

[seawolvesanddragons]

Anne With An E S3 E1 Thoughts: (Spoilers!)

Oh my god this season is off to such a great start. I’m simultaneously elated that I don’t have to wait till January and distraught that I have to wait a week in between episodes. 

In no particular order: 

-Most of the promo was from this episode, meaning we jumped right in with Ka’Kwet and Anne and I am LIVING for it, I really hope we see more of her and her tribe later on this season. Their whole interaction was just so wholesome? “They are the people I am like, so I am connected to them” man jumping right in with this season’s theme, I LOVE it. I bet that whole thing about needing more food and the train and the hunters will come back later. 

-Billy is still an ass. Nobody is surprised. What is more surprising is that Josie Pye is on friendlier terms with all the girls, including Anne (she was at the Birthday Party) and also that when Billy sprays Josie with ice, Anne laughs. I guess with such a small town you can’t hold grudges over everything? 

-”You can’t even add” god bless Jane Andrews 

-Every season has such gorgeous openings and this was no exception, seeing Anne gallop through the woods was heartstopping. 

-BASH AND MARY HAVE A BABY GIRL I REPEAT BASH AND MARY HAVE A BABY GIRL AAHHHHHHH

-THAT GILBERT KISSES ON THE HEAD AND BASH BABY SPEAKS TOO 

-Also first time we ever have Gilbert and Anne interacting in the first episode and I am here for it. 

-The entire “notice board” scene between Anne and Gilbert I was just like “ANNe NO sweetheart no dear darling no no no baby child no please just stop oh god no sweetie stop” 

-Least Gilbert is no longer in fucking denial.  -”Tillie has a two boy problem” “That’s no problem” fucking iconic legend Tillie out here slaying 

-Oh Charlie. Its not gonna happen. But points for trying 

-Moody shot up but is still so very Moody like. 

-Diana fucking SLAYING with her first wave feminism “my education is suffering” and blasting her piano to make sure she could celebrate with Anne yes girl get your goals. Don’t forget you have a rich aunt who would totally support you going against your parents wishes! 

-Diana and Anne’s friendship is still the purest thing. 

-Literally everytime I see Diana and Anne interact I am torn between lesbian Diana/Anne, Anne/Gilbert, and solo lesbian Diana. 

-JERRY. Jerry READING. Jerry playing along with Diana’s prank while staring at her with heart eyes. Jerry being crazy tall now. Just. everything. 

-Now I’m also torn between Lesbian!Diana and Jerry/Diana. Damn it. 

-Matthew Cuthbert is a sweetheart and I would die for him 

-Ms Stacy continues to be her awesome self (I like her a lot better now than I did when she was first introduced) and I am loving the tie. Also hope to see more of her and Rachel interacting. 

-Ms Stacy 100 percent ships different students. You can totally see it when she looks up from grading and smiles at them. 

-That printing press is absolutely going to be a “surprise tool that will help us later on!” Like, its coming back. Its gonna. 

-The notice board will probably show up again as well. 

-I’ve seen a lot of flack on Gilbert for just walking away when Anne was trying to figure out if he did like her via his eyes (child Cole told you this LAST SEASON) but honestly? The boy not 7 hours prior thought the love of his life was confessing to him only to find out she was trying to set him up with her friend. Its probably hard for him to be around her right now. Can’t WAIT to see what happens next episode with the train

- that being said, it looks like Gilbert and Anne are both the heads of newspaper and I want to see that come up some more. 

-Also, props to Gilbert for being the only one who seems to foresee what will happen when Ms Stacy calls on Anne to present her lineage. Look at his body language, he knows this is probably difficult. Props also to Ms Stacy for immediately apologizing in private. 

-Bash and Mary are adorable let them have all the happiness and no more trouble, please. Also I need more of Bash just dragging Gilbert. 

-Marilla and Mary are great buddies and I love it. Delphine is adorable. 

-Marilla and Bash totally gossip about their charges. She’s probably writing a note to slip him later right now, about how Anne is going to ask Gilbert if she can join him at the train station. Meanwhile, Bash is eavesdropping on Gilbert angrily doing his chores while muttering about notice boards and Ruby and Anne and taking note to share all of this with Marilla later. 

-THAT CHARM BRACELET OMG. EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SCENE. 

-Matthew reading the farmers almanac upside down omg. Marilla giggling.  

-Oh no Marilla Anne would never leave you no no no my heart is breaking for them. 

-That fifty pence is also going to come back later on in the season. Calling it now. 

-COLE IS BACK NEXT EPISODE YESSSSSS 

[dannyd0levito]

September 26, 2020

I’m not sure why, but I find myself not being able to look directly outside through the window. It’s blue and grey, and quite gorgeous as the world wakes up. I’ve been awake since 5:12 a.m. myself. I’m reading a book I don’t remember the name of, but it inspires me to type out my feelings as I find my eyes blurring and my chest get tight. My throat has been dry and caught the entire time I read it.

           It’s a story of a 17-year-old girl who has had a bad run in with someone named Fucking Frank, coping with the loss of her friend, Ellis, who attempted suicide and didn’t die, but lost enough oxygen to her brain to essentially be a vegetable. She was homeless, her father and dog dead at some point and her mother physically abusive, and she was raped. She tries to escape everything by cutting so deeply with broken mason jar glass in an attempt to end the buzzing and pain but ends up in a hospital and is later transferred to an all-girl nut house. Now, she’s staying at a friend’s studio home, which is really a done-up garage, and struggles to find a sense of normal.

           I found myself relating to it a little too much all at once. It reminds me of my time at Heritage Oaks off Auburn Boulevard in Citrus Heights. I don’t remember exactly how old I was, but I think I was living in Orangevale in Sarah’s studio-home at the time. I think Charlie and I weren’t technically together at the time because I remember a guy in the loony bin taking an interest in me, which now that I think of it, might have been the first and only time in my life a person took interest in me first. I often forget about it, though, because everyone was crazy in that place. He gave me his number before I was discharged at the end of my two weeks and told me the day he was going to be released. I waited in the parking lot for him that day, but never saw him walk out. I haven’t heard from or seen him again.

           A couple months later, the crazy festered more and I tried to find him since he wasn’t answering calls or texts, no acknowledgment of the voicemail I had left. I found his name on the Internet associated with a pizza place in Chico. I remember calling them, the woman who answered sounding very skeptical and confused, but promising to pass on the message that Dani was calling for him. I don’t even remember his name. It’s stalkerish and creepy to do that, now that I look back on it. But I didn’t know this at the time and had no ill-intent. I just wanted to connect to someone who seemed to like me and see me, even when I was at my lowest point. I figured if someone could like me in there, then they could like me for who I really was.

           But I was wrong once again.

           I’m tearing up as I write this, but it’s not sadness. I don’t know what it is exactly. Something deeper, more like grief and depression and hopelessness. A loss of some kind. Innocence, maybe?

           Everything hurts in me right now and feels dark. The void is opening back up for some reason. I was getting so good at bottling my emotions – I envision a mason jar – and sucking it back into some hidden away part of me, but that fucking book opened it all back up.

           I’m relating to that 17-year-old girl somehow, but she was worse off than me. Sure, I attempted suicide that landed me in the nuthouse years ago. I don’t remember how old I was at the time. I think old enough to drink, maybe. Maybe it was 2015.

           I would’ve been 21 at the time, turning 22 July of that year, but I had been drinking and doing drugs long before then.

           I started smoking pot heavily after I started working at KFC when I was 16. I was vehemently against alcohol until I met Charlie. I was against it because of my mom.

           I don’t know why I clung to that relationship like I did. I don’t even remember who he was anymore. But that happens with all of my exes. At some point, I think I’m so enshrouded in a cloud of dissociation, I never really see them for who they are. They become an extension of myself that I project onto. And I don’t really know who’s fault that is. I’ve been told I’ve gaslit others and had it done to me in return by soon-to-be ex-husband. But I don’t really know if I believe the latter.

           I think I paint myself in a better light so someone will pity me at the very least. Making myself the victim and manipulating others to feel bad can be easy. But I really try not to. I’ve just heard that I do that. I don’t consciously do it, I just talk about how I’ve felt and what has happened to me in the past, and I talk about it casually because I know that despite how fucked up it sounds, I brought it all onto myself. Therefore: do not feel bad for me. Shit sucks wall-to-wall, but I know it was of my own curation and I’m at fault.

           I think about how alone my dad is. He has his friends and has always been very charismatic, but he has also been very manipulative emotionally. I never could get a full read on him. Sometimes, he seems quite jovial and polite and nice, like he’s really turning a corner and opening up. Then the more time I spent with him, the real him came out incrementally. If it happened all at once, he’d scare people away. But to normalize it slowly over time traps a person and they don’t realize it until years later what has been done. I think that’s why Marie left him without any warning and won’t go back.

           I’m like him in my own eyes. I don’t have an identity; if someone were to ask me who I am, I wouldn’t know how to answer. I’m a person, but I struggle with assigning even a gender to myself. I’m a biological woman, but I don’t feel like one. It’s not gender dysphoria because I don’t feel like a man, either. But something a little further down the road. I don’t feel like a woman because I don’t feel like a person at all. At best, I can describe my experience up to this point as watching the world through a lens, like a movie that I’m witnessing.

           I dissociate so often that I can’t remember most of my past and don’t even know when it’s happening. Others around me can’t pin-point when it occurs either. I’m really good at switching on auto-pilot. I’m existing at this point, not thriving or living. I’m usually okay with this.

           Occasionally, the cracks deepen and the emotions seep out a little. Like this morning. I think it’s been about a decade since I’ve written my emotions down like this. As a kid, I had tons of journals and treated them as the friend I never had: something to keep all my secrets.

           I still don’t have friends. The closest I have to this is Jerry. Everyone else is an acquaintance. But I don’t even view Jerry as a friend, or really a person. But I don’t say this out of spite or hatred, or anything malevolent. I think it’s just due to my morphing him as part of my weird way of viewing life through a gaussian blur filter. I know he’s a living, breathing individual and yet somehow, I see him as just another extension of myself. I’m still not sure how to explain it, but he’s not real to me anymore.

           Once upon a time, he was. Something happened to me between now and then, though. I fought hard for him from mid-2018 through about September of 2019. He really drew me to him, someone who could understand how bleak life really is for some of us and all the depth of pain a person can experience without being able to fully comprehend. Broken to broken, blind leading the blind.

           It was a mistake I now see. But not a regretful mistake. Just a natural one, like with everyone else in my past. Tom was a mistake. Charlie was a mistake. And every other man and boy before him depending on what age I was.

           It’s been a really long time since I’ve come apart like I am this morning. I guess I needed to at some point or I’d lash out again. It was cyclical for a couple years, my emotions. Despite how fucking terrible I felt every waking moment and wanted to end the pain, I could count on it. But I’ve been empty since maybe February of this year. Jerry screamed at me and something inside me snapped. It’s not his fault, I incite anger in others and goad them. But something in breaking him broke me, I think. I’ve been an empty vessel ever since. It’s pleasant not feeling most of the time, but when I do, it’s like I’m crying over the deceased and I don’t know why.

           I’ve been hurting a lot lately. I’m upset I can’t remember the good times from exes. Not for any reason in particular other than taking personal inventory of how my brain works. I remember some times from Tom, like us going to the San Francisco zoo for his birthday in 2016 so he could see the bears since they’re his favorite. I remember having a good day and I even have photos saved from that day, but I don’t remember emotionally. It doesn’t feel like that day even existed. I often daydream about being saved by someone and that memory holds the same sensation.

           Now he’s divorcing me. I don’t exactly remember where things went wrong, but I know it’s because of me. It was before 2018 when I started to get frustrated with us. He was calm and very nice, but also very cold. I know I got to see a part of him he didn’t allow anyone else to see, something reserved for significant others, and yet we couldn’t speak each other’s love language. His was touch, mine was thinking. He picked the wrong damaged person. My ability to love through touch has been skewed through rape, molestation, and sexual assault before him. Then, the same things happened while I was with him. Once from a man posing as a Lyft driver in 2018 when we had a fight at Pre-Flite on Kati’s birthday. Once in early 2019 when a “friend” from Bakersfield came all the way up to see me under the guise of missing me from high school and as an opportunity to catch up; he instead sodomized me in his hotel then left right after, but not before I offered to buy him dinner. He was antsy the whole time and during dinner, he took a pretend call saying his girls got hurt and he had to drive all the way back home. I tried to make it work logically in my mind, saying that this happens, it’s okay, he didn’t do what I think he just did. But I never heard from him again. Then Tom did it. I don’t think he meant to do it, but I can’t answer that honestly anymore. He had pent up sexual frustration and unfortunately, my experience with the men in my life included that in the form of rape. I know not all men are bad, and I know it’s my fault for picking people like this. But it still hurts. Right after I moved out, summer of 2019 when we separated, we got drunk at Burning Barrell. I was too much to drive, so he took me back to his place where I promptly blacked out. A few hours later I woke up undressed but not remembering how that happened. I was disoriented because I didn’t remember the drive home and it terrified me for a moment as I didn’t recognize his room already, though it was maybe only a month after I moved out. I panicked and put two-and-two together, feeling violated by my own husband and his sad confusion as he apologized. I know he didn’t mean it. I think. But I wailed and sobbed and felt robbed all the same.

           I’m the most stable I’ve ever been as of this year. I lost almost 50 pounds, cleared my skin, and stopped drinking and doing drugs, which were primarily weed and cocaine. And yet, I feel the emptiest I’ve ever felt. I think I’m technically in a relationship with Jerry and I say so because I think he believes that, but we’re not in my mind. I don’t know who he is and I’ve closed away most of who I am because he would scream at it. I hide behind dark humor and anger towards outside sources that don’t matter, like the anti-maskers and the Black Lives Matter protesters, and I live in a world where I’m white but I’m also not entirely, but I’m afraid to feel the way I do because to not support something that I can’t make the emotional space for makes me the evil one.

           I can’t help it. I don’t care about police brutality. I don’t care about the conservative agenda and how Trump is admitting to dictatorship if he loses the election. I don’t even care about myself, so how can one expect me to support things outside of what affects me directly?

           I have to go back to feeling nothing shortly. Today is Steph’s birthday. I have to collect my innards and mush them back into place and paint my face into something acceptable because to be anything else but cheerful would be selfish. This is not a day for me; that day comes once a year and passes as quickly as it arrives because I don’t emotionally celebrate it. Sometimes, people around me do, but I surely don’t. Every year I get closer to 30, I feel more and more disillusioned and like a failure.

           I told myself if I were alive by 30, I’m ending it. I think I still hold that promise to myself. Except I’ve attempted suicide several times now and it hasn’t worked out yet. I’m not afraid of eternal death and don’t believe in any sort of afterlife, but I’m afraid of the pain, then fucking it up, then ending up worse off than I was before – paralyzed, a brainless zombie with no consciousness like those who experience hypoxia, and being unable to finish the job.

[rawiswhore]

Triple H/Shawn Michaels x Fem Reader- “Put A Ring On It”

The reason I say “Triple H/Shawn Michaels” in this fanfic is because you could have either Triple H or Shawn Michaels in this fanfic when you read it.

You can imagine Triple H doing this to you or Shawn.

________________________________________________________________

The year is 2003.

And the most famous professional wrestling company in the world, the WWF, has now changed its name, to the WWE, during the previous year, which is what the company would be called and known as from now on.

Shawn Michaels, after having a lengthy, incredible career throughout the 1990's, has now made a comeback the previous year, where he'd wrestle all throughout the 2000's until his retirement in 2009.

But this time, Shawn has slightly shorter hair, he's sober, and he's even now a born again Christian!

Shawn Michaels isn't the only WWF star to make a comeback.

You have also made a comeback to the company, after taking a hiatus from 2000 to 2002 due to suffering from a real life sex addiction and depression.

Speaking of which...

You have dated Shawn/Triple H for several years, since 1996.

In the summer of 1995, you were sitting at home at night, getting ready to go to work, but to kill off some time before you left, you were flipping through the channels, trying to find something to watch on TV, like maybe a movie you enjoy or a rerun of "The Simpsons", "In Living Color" or even "Ren and Stimpy".

Until you came across a WWF show, where you saw Hunter Hearst Helmsley for the first time.

He immediately caught your eye. You had never heard of him before or ever seen him before.

You couldn't take your eyes off of him when you saw him.

He didn't look like a stereotypical wrestler like Hulk Hogan or Macho Man Randy Savage.

And unlike those 2, he was actually *gasp!* good looking?

You soon started watching the WWF just to see Hunter Hearst Helmsley.

You heard about how rock stars, rappers, athletes, and yes, pro wrestlers, have groupies; wrestling groupies are known as "ring rats".

When the WWF rolled into a town close to yours or even to your town, you went to a show not just to see Hunter Hearst Helmsley, but even have sex with him.

Once you met Hunter back stage, even he thought you were absolutely beautiful.

So beautiful, he wanted to turn you into one of his valets.

You had doubts about this at first, but you decided to go for it.

Soon, you'd become more popular than he is, getting cheers and pops from the male audience while the male audience booed Hunter.

Anyway, enough about that.

Despite dating Triple H/Shawn for several years, they had never quite popped a certain iconic question and request for you...until tonight.

Although, Triple H did say that if you got clean and sober from drugs and alcohol, he'd do something special to you.

And this special is what this fanfic will be about.

On a show in 2003, Triple H is on a roll this year, and he's gone through quite a number of gimmick changes over the years.

However, what's about to happen to you tonight in this particular WWE show, with bookoos of people in the audience watching, some of them holding up signs and posters, is not rehearsed or scripted.

Even you don't know what will happen to you tonight, but Triple H/Shawn Michaels does.

You were in the ring with Triple H/Shawn, Triple H dressed in his typical JC Penney's pantsuit he's been wearing this year, Shawn dressed usually how he dresses in 2003.

During this year, you were in a story line involving being in a love triangle with Triple H and Shawn.

However, tonight...

"Y/n" Triple H/Shawn stated, holding the microphone up to his mouth. "I've been dating you for several years, and despite some of the ups and downs we've had for several years, you fulfill my life..."

"Oh my God, is he gonna pop the big question?!" Jerry Lawler exclaimed.

The audience was expecting him to propose to you in marriage.

And that's exactly what Triple H/Shawn was about to do.

"Will you do me the honor and make me the happiest man on Earth?" Triple H/Shawn asked and pleaded to you, his face looking at you, and while they said this, he got down on one bended knee, laying their calf on the ring's trampoline.

He put his hand into his pocket and pulled out a little ring box, where he opened the velvet ring box and revealed a beautiful white diamond ring.

When he got down on bended knee and pulled a ring box, your eyes grew wider and wider, your mouth dropping and agape in shock.

Your face was freaking out and stunned seeing that diamond ring, you were trying to keep your balance by holding onto the ropes against the ring, your arms laying across the top of the ropes.

Your face could easily now be an Internet meme or a "reaction meme".

The audience was also going nuts about this too.

The people in the audience, even the people watching this on television, didn't know whether or not if this was scripted or if this was for real.

Now that's what you call kayfabe.

"Will you marry me?" Triple H/Shawn asked you.

Tears of happiness started to form in your eyes, your hands covered up your wide smile spreading across your face.

"Yes!" you exclaimed, holding the microphone up to your mouth.

You then stuck your hand out, beautiful and well manicured, where Triple H/Shawn took the ring out of the box and walked up to you with that ring, where he slid it all the way down your ring finger.

Those tears of happiness you were trying to hold back now started falling down your cheeks.

You didn't know he was going to propose to you in marriage, this wasn't rehearsed, but the people watching this, either in the arena or on television didn't know whether or not if this is all scripted for television or if this is for real.

Once that ring was now on your finger, you wrapped your arms around and behind Triple H/Shawn's shoulders in an embrace, burying your face in his shoulder.

He wrapped his arms around your waist, hugging and embracing you.

While he embraced you, he kissed the top of your head, tasting your hair.

Not the best taste, especially since you hairsprayed it so much.

Surprisingly, Triple H/Shawn didn't enter the arena, disgusted at you cheating on him.

But that's not important.

What's important is whether or not if this was all rehearsed or was this real?

A few months later, in early 2004, people would find out this proposal was not scripted but for real. Why?

You and Triple H/Shawn did get married in real life.

You had thought of marrying him inside the WWE ring, not with several wrestling fans (at least wrestling fans that aren't related to you and Triple H/Shawn) in the audience, but with your family members, his family members as well as your friends from your childhood and some WWE wrestlers in the audience.

Although this isn't really the most romantic place to get married in...

Triple H really is the epitome of someone who can turn a ho into a housewife.

Why?

You were once sexually promiscuous, even before you worked as Hunter Hearst Helmsley's valet he'd enter the arena with, you also worked as a stripper before becoming Hunter's valet, and after you were Hunter's valet, not only did you sleep with Hunter and Shawn, but other male pro wrestlers you thought were hot.

You also used to party with Shawn Michaels; doing all sorts of drugs and alcohol.

Triple H, or Hunter as he was known back then, was worried about you both.

Hunter promised you if you didn't do drugs and abuse alcohol again, he'd marry you.

You did eventually get off of drugs and alcohol just for him, even though you had doubts of marrying him and even being his valet.

You wanted to get clean off of drugs and alcohol since you wanted to remember and have great memories of the 1990's.

Although after you got clean and sober from drugs and alcohol, Triple H didn't propose to you, which made you think twice of dating him and marrying him.

Which is a shame he didn't propose to you after you had gotten clean and sober, because Triple H looked absolutely gorgeous after you had gotten sober and clean.

You would've loved to have gotten married to him and maybe even have his children.

Though you struggled with another addiction, and that's sex addiction.

Not only did you have sex with Triple H and Shawn, but other pro wrestlers as well. They were so hot!

You also worked as a Pussycat Doll at their burlesque club and your gimmick in the WWE basically was being a slut or a nymphomaniac.

After you got married to Triple H, you no longer did drugs, partied, cheated on him, even had any threesomes with him.

The only slutty things you did was guest star on "Californication" with David Duchovny and have a sex scene with him as well as have a stripper pole in your special dancing room, and that pole is for fitness and exercise.

You now are a mother of 2 kids who never talks about anything inappropriate on social media due to being a mom now and trying to be a good role model for your children.

When you made a special guest appearance on the WWE during their PG era, your gimmick when the company was TV-14 was being a slut, and you couldn't do that because the WWE is now rated PG.

You would've loved to have flashed your breasts or have done something inappropriate in a PG rated show, but you're a mom with 2 kids now, you can't do that on television.

Even if you had gotten married to Shawn Michaels, Shawn would've turned you from a ho into a housewife, who no longer does drugs, sleeps around, or even posts or says anything inappropriate on social media due to your children.

As well as the whole "not doing something inappropriate on a show rated TV PG" thing.

________________________________________________________________

I wonder if I should write these fanfics that aren’t so raunchy, I have these ideas for fanfics I want to write that aren’t so pornographic involving Triple H and Shawn...

[roseisread]

My Year in Movies: Favorite Non-2018 Feature Films (Part 2)

Continuing the countdown of my favorite movies I saw for the first time in 2018 that were released in previous years... for part 1 of this list, click here.

39. Tokyo Drifter (1966, directed by Seijun Suzuki, country of origin: Japan)

Seijun Suzuki pulls together his favorite tropes from the Western, film noir, and Yakuza genres and throws a post modern, new wave sensibility on top complete with lots of neon and surrealism. The end result is one of the most stylistically bold movies I’ve ever encountered, and its influence extends to modern auteurs like Quentin Tarantino, Jim Jarmusch, and Nicolas Winding Refn. Tokyo Drifter (which has nothing to do with the Fast & Furious franchise as far as I know) follows a gangster on the run, but the plot really is secondary to the overall feel of the movie. Really fun and one I can imagine revisiting a lot just for its aesthetic choices and action set pieces. Rent it on Amazon Prime; in the meantime, here’s a pretty decent fan-made trailer.

38. Born to Kill (1947, directed by Robert Wise, country of origin: US)

Hollywood’s original bad boy Lawrence Tierney stars in this nasty little noir that fully lives up to its violent title. Sam Wilde (Tierney) is a gorgeous, amoral social climber who doesn’t let a little trifle like murder stand in the way of getting what he wants. Helen Brent (Claire Trevor) finds herself strangely drawn to him, even as she learns of his criminal leanings. There’s a particularly lustful scene between Sam and Helen that could be a direct influence on Natural Born Killers, actually. The fact that this picture was directed by Robert Wise, best known for his work on The Sound of Music and West Side Story, makes it all the more interesting--this pulpy film doesn’t have any musical numbers but it certainly is well-crafted and choreographed. If you love a good antihero, you owe it to yourself to watch this. Available for rent on Amazon, YouTube, and Vudu. 

37. Throw Momma From the Train (1987, directed by Danny DeVito, country of origin: US)

This comic riff on Strangers on a Train starts off with murder on its mind, but there’s a surprising sweetness lying just below the surface. I’m sure most people have already seen this film but in case you haven’t, you’re in for a hilarious and endearing story that showcases peak Billy Crystal and Danny DeVito. Anne Ramsey plays the titular “Momma,” and she was nominated for both the Oscars and the Golden Globes in this supporting role. There are lots of ways to watch this movie for free, including Amazon Prime, YouTube, Vudu, GooglePlay, and Showtime. 

36. Johnny Guitar (1954, directed by Nicholas Ray, country of origin: US)

The title refers to Sterling Hayden’s outlaw cowboy, but the real star of the show is Joan Crawford as Vienna: a saloon owning, jeans wearing, piano playing woman who takes on the whole town in a showdown. Portrayals of women in Westerns vary, but few emanate such power and self-assuredness as Vienna. 

Another woman, tellingly named Emma Small (played by Mercedes McCambridge), has set her sights on getting rid of Vienna and her establishment once and for all, and she will stop at no amount of violence or trickery to make it happen. So basically this is Mean Girls but in the Wild West. Offscreen, Joan Crawford was hooking up with director Nicholas Ray; and she’d previously been romantically involved with McCambridge’s now-husband. Both ladies also consumed a fair amount of booze while filming. This led to their rivalry bleeding into real life, and perhaps added to the tension we see on screen between the two. 

This movie didn’t have the warmest reception when it premiered stateside (Bosley Crowther on Crawford’s Vienna: “...as sexless as the lions on the public library steps and as sharp and romantically forbidding as a package of unwrapped razor blades.”) But European audiences devoured it, and it became beloved of people like Francois Truffaut who saw it as a major influence. You can watch it now on Hulu or rent from a number of streaming platforms. 

35. Sonatine (1993, directed by Takeshi “Beat” Kitano, country of origin: Japan)

Takeshi Kitano wrote, directed, and starred in this cult take on Yakuza films. In it, he plays Murakawa, a gangster who dispatches (often in creatively cruel ways) anyone his bosses happen to dislike. But he’s starting to grow weary of this way of life when he gets sent on a new assignment that has him mediating a dispute with a rival gang in Okinawa. He suspects that he may be the real target, but goes along with the order. While hiding out between confrontations, Murakawa and a batch of young recruits find ways to pass the time--shooting cans off each other’s heads, playing a roulette version of rock paper scissors, pretending to be sumo wrestlers, and more. 

There’s not a lot of dialogue here, and Kitano plays his character with a stoicism that Buster Keaton and Alain Delon no doubt influenced. But the poetry and emotion are all in the action (and inaction) on screen. Here is a man whose main accomplishments are surviving bloody shootouts and racking up the body count for his employer--no wonder he hallucinates about self-destruction and walks the beach in a daze. There’s actually a good bit of comedy here too, as the movie isn’t afraid to veer into cartoonish moments and satirize the very genre it portrays. I also have to specifically call out the action scenes, especially one near the end--completely memorable, unique, and gorgeously shot. Watch this via rental on Amazon, YouTube, and GooglePlay--especially if you’re a fan of movies like Drive, Kill Bill, or Le Samourai. 

34. Metropolitan (1990, directed by Whit Stillman, country of origin: US)

My first encounter with Whit Stillman came via 2016′s Love and Friendship, his adaptation of a Jane Austen story. When his debut film appeared on Filmstruck, I realized what a perfect fit Austen and Stillman really are. This movie follows a group of (mostly) wealthy teenagers in Manhattan, who attend debutante balls and gather at each other’s homes for long pretentious conversations and romantic sparring. If Austen were alive today, no doubt she would have written a novel in the same setting, filled with the same biting wit (no pun intended) that Stillman displays. If you like your movies with a lot of action and plot twists, this may not be your cup of tea; but if you enjoy the works of, say, Woody Allen/Noah Baumbach/Wes Anderson then you will definitely find this a subtle delight. No big names amongst the cast; and many of them only did one or two other projects after this, but I think that adds to the feeling of naïveté and naturalism. Random observation, but when I watched this movie I found connections between a number of its characters and the cast of The Breakfast Club--see if you agree. Right now you can rent this via iTunes, and since it takes place around Christmas and New Year’s, this would be a great time to watch. 

33. Radio Days (1987, directed by Woody Allen, country of origin: US)

This might be the sweetest, least cynical movie in Woody Allen’s filmography. It’s a love letter to the 1930s and 40s, when families would gather around the radio (rather than the TV) for music, serials, and news of the outside world. Seth Green plays the Woody stand-in as a child, Mia Farrow plays an aspiring radio actress, Larry David pops up as the Communist next door neighbor--it’s a real hoot. The music (from the likes of Benny Goodman, Artie Shaw, and Glenn Miller) is gorgeous and it’s fun to see old New York recreated for this film. Suitable for all ages and utterly delightful, you can watch it on Hulu with a subscription or rent it on Vudu for $2.99. 

32. Pickup (1951, directed by Hugo Haas, country of origin: US)

I caught up with this low-budget B-movie noir during Noir City Chicago, and fell head over heels for it. The director plays the lead character, a lovable but lonely railroad worker named Hunky (he does not live up to this name in appearance). When he encounters the gorgeous and sassy Betty (Beverly Michaels) at a carnival, he can’t believe a guy like him could hold the romantic interest of such a hottie. As luck would have it, though, she’s more attracted to his life savings than to him. What a golddigger. What sets this movie apart is the addition of a little plot twist: Hunky loses his hearing in an accident, which is just fine by the conniving Betty who can now scheme and talk trash around her husband. But when Hunky’s hearing unexpectedly returns, he doesn’t tell anyone and discovers that his beloved wifey is plotting his demise. Bonus: There’s a pretty adorable puppy in the mix. This isn’t available on DVD, sadly, but someone has uploaded it to YouTube and if you have 77 minutes to kill, I recommend checking it out.

31. Ghost (1990, directed by Jerry Zucker, country of origin: US)

Look, I love Demi Moore and Whoopi Goldberg and Patrick Swayze just as much as the next person, but for some reason I had always assumed that Ghost was this really cheesy paranormal romance. Wrong! It’s a charming murder mystery with some legit scary moments a lot of comedy, and, yes, some romance too. So if you have somehow missed this gem, you can catch up with it for 99 cents right now on Amazon or rent it for a Few Dollars More on other streaming sites.

30. One False Move (1992, directed by Carl Franklin, country of origin: US)

In part one of this list, I mentioned watching multiple Bill Paxton movies in 2018. This one features Paxton as a small town sheriff with illusions of grandeur--instead of settling small time domestic disputes, he’d love to one day solve murders and thwart serial killers and arrest drug kingpins in the big city. He gets his chance to do something bigger when a car full of murderous fugitives rolls into town. The LA detectives on the case don’t quite know what to make of Paxton; but he views them as heroes. When he gets his chance to show them what he’s made of, he doesn’t flinch. 

Billy Bob Thornton co-wrote the screenplay and co-stars in the film, another connection between this and the other Paxton entry on my list (A Simple Plan). Here, he’s a vile and brutal sociopath (a role he’d go on to play in the TV adaptation of Fargo), with a girlfriend named Fantasia (Cynda Williams) that might be having second thoughts about their relationship. Director Carl Franklin is perhaps better known for the Denzel Washington neo noir Devil in a Blue Dress; and Franklin himself introduced a double feature of these two films at Noir City Chicago. He’s a brilliant, economical director with a deep well of classical film knowledge and a knack for capturing defining character traits in the space of a few frames. Rent this movie on Amazon, Vudu, or YouTube and prepare for a gritty, moving ride. 

29. Peeping Tom (1960, directed by Michael Powell, country of origin: England)

I caught up with this out of print masterpiece (purchased at my local library sale for 50 cents on Criterion DVD!) during my October horror viewing, and immediately wanted it to find a wider audience. Reviled upon its initial release, it follows a talented but troubled young filmmaker whose obsession involves recording the final moments of his murder victims’ lives, as they realize their fate. Pretty twisted, I know. The exploration of voyeurism and the relationship between the camera, its subjects, and an audience really make this a fascinating watch, both from a technical perspective and as a critique of moviemaking and consumption. One can’t help but see the influence this movie has had on horror filmmakers from Wes Craven to John Carpenter, particularly in the way it forces us to identify with the psychologically damaged killer instead of centering the narrative on his victims. Massively underrated, and deserving of your attention if you consider yourself a fan of horror movies. Watch it via rental on a number of streaming platforms. 

That concludes part 2 of the list! Stay tuned for the next segment, coming soon!