#jessica carried this whole movie

[enjoytheglow]

This is the scene I was talking about in my previous post

[glowstick-cafe]

♡Across the Spiderverse: Relationship Hc's♡

Hobie Brown x reader

Genre: Fluff(?)

Warning: Hobie is so cool and he knows it, black peepole(British rizz) being in love, as always reader is gender neutral.

Summary: You actully hated him at first, but the line between hate and love are often blurred.

A/n: You guys liked me being delulu with Pav so imma be delulu with Hobie. Also, leave a comment if you want. :]

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You are a part of the spider society, Miguel just picked you up and said, "You're coming with me, kid." And you've just been on it ever since.

Your often aided Margo with her work(not like she minded), mostly because talking to spiders other than her, Miguel, Jessica, and Lyla were scary.

That's when you met Hobie, you truly had no idea what the hell he was saying for a full hour into him talking becauseof his accent, and he probably picked up on that from your constant confused nodding.

Hobie was fine with you not wanting to talk, which you appreciated; the boy was always happy to carry the conversation, and he assumed you wanted to be friends because you've been following him around and listening to him attentively.

Your friendship with Hobie was great, you've even stayed over at his house a few times to watch a movie you never made it through because you always fell asleep.

That was when Gwen came into the picture. You didn't hate her, she was actully really sweet and you had a lot of fun with her, but Hobies' attention began to be more on Gwen rather than you.

When Hobie began to notice how distant you were becoming he confronted you when you both were watching a movie at his house again, for old time sake.

"You've been ignorin' me lately, why?" He asked bluntly, Hobie was laying on your lap looking straight up at you.

"I'm not ignoring you, you have Gwen to talk to, anyway." You quickly realized how you sounded and cursed yourself, you looked down to meet Hobie's gaze only to see him with an amused expression. "A bit jealous, are ye?" He jokingly questioned, then sat up from you lap.

You could feel the heat emanating from your face, "No! Not like that- I just....fuck off!" You retorted, before you could embarrass yourself futher, Hobie placed a finger under your chin and gave you a peck on the lips. "It was never like that with Gwen, you idiot."

Safe to say that you stayed awake for that whole movie.

When you and Hobie started dating, he became more touchy, in the sense that he has to be touching you in some way.

He loves showing you off, it's like Peter B. showing off his kid, he takes offense if they don't wanna see you.

Hobie likes to rest is head on yours, it happens everywhere, standing in a line, washing dishes, it great for him, not so much for your neck though.

He also likes to likes to hug you from behind, but since your a bit jumpy about hugs the alternative is using your head as a pillow, or using your shoulder.

"Mate, wha chu' mean you don't wanna see my partner?"

He's so soft for you, even with he doesn't want to be.

He absolutely melts when you lightly tugg on his pinky finger or his jacket when you want his attention for something.

You love to kiss all of his piercings individually when you notice he's not having a great day.

You can't do cornrows for the life if you, but Hobie got you covered. He sits you down between his legs and does your hair as you watch whatever.

God forbid you touch your cornrows while he's doing them, he will hit your hand with that comb and it will hurt. "Why you tryin' to mess up my work, nah?"

[periprose]

You know what. I think I'm deleting tiktok for my mental health lol. I usually only use it to watch brown girls try on makeup or clothing (so I can see if it would look good on me) but I've been getting dune content and not to sound snobby but goddamn are there are some silly takes.

Like people saying the movie is super boring. It can't all be 100% action all the time, the action is meaningful because they let the previous scenes add meaning and weight.

People saying the movie is confusing and they had to read the whole thing on Wikipedia... did they spend the whole time on their phones? I know not everyone is a book reader but I went with people who didn't read the books and they found it fine, so why does tiktok seem to have such trouble? Maybe because tiktok reduces their attention span so heavily. It's like they weren't watching/weren't letting the scenes sink in at all. That's not the fault of the movie.

Like I literally saw someone complain that Paul saying "Hello Grandfather" as he killed the Baron was random and poorly written and trying too hard to be a Star Wars twist, and they should've revealed it earlier. So many other people were agreeing with them except it WAS revealed earlier when Paul talks about having a vision of baby Jessica with the Baron and that they're both actually Harkonnens. Like just admit you weren't watching or paying attention to the movie, that's your own fault. And it's not random, the scene is meant to have weight because it tells you the atreides are not better than the harkonnens at all.

People saying unironically that it is a white saviour movie like... holy shit? The movie that is directly criticizing white saviors?? The one that made it even more explicit by having Chani disapprove of Paul's actions?? The obvious moral ambiguity Paul seems to carry when manipulating the Fremen religiously? Lady Jessica literally stating they need to convert the weak and vulnerable?? Hello????

Idk I'm just tired of this. Maybe I'm old but internet discourse is so bad and predictable and I don't want to read it anymore, I'm sick of people making their hot takes because they think it needs to be heard when they haven't even studied the material enough to justifiably have an opinion on it. If you don't know much about Dune then why talk as if you do??

[catmansquad]

Special (2)

An irritating Spider-woman leaves you on edge, fortunately, the man you love can make you feel all better...

(Miguel O'Hara x M!Reader) (Pokes M!Reader tag. "C'mon... Do something...")

‘What’s up Spider-fans! It’s Spider-Selene here once again! There’s a whole lot of you who’ve been sliding into my DMs about seeing Across the Spider-Verse. Well, guess who’s gotten her own special invite? That’s right; I’m in Spider Society!’

She held up her phone, still recording as her other hand held up the silver-white bracelet that swirled with a soft neon blue light. ‘For those who don’t know me-? Seriously, how can you not? Well, let’s take it from the top; I was bitten by some radioactive guy in a spider costume- some sort of Halloween party at a power plant gone wrong-, and since then I’ve been the one and only Spider-Selene; half-spider, half-witch, and full on badass! Fighting crime and saving the world with kickass acrobatics, pure love, and white light magic! Well, I’m already in good; got some tight-knit friends… Uh… Like Ben! Hey, Ben! How’re you doing big guy? Just telling all my fans about how I’m-!’ ‘… Friends…?’ Ben hung his head, face vanishing beneath his messy dyed locks, voice low. ‘… My life truly can spiral into darker depths.’ Spider-Selene blinked, a little nervous laugh escaped her before she swiftly turned on her heels, panning her phone away from him. ‘Yeah, he’s just being himself- we’re really actually good friends, like… Uh… Like me, Jess and Peter! Heyy!’ She waved them down, watching the two in particular pause in their conversation and look to her. ‘Hey! I’m just telling all my fans about us, want to tell them about-‘ ‘Actually, Peter, I really need to get back home… We’ll catch up later, yeah?’ Jessica gave him a soft, fond smile, that Peter matched and quickly strode off. As soon as Spider-Selene’s masked face snapped to Peter, he shrugged with an apologetic smile. ‘Yeah… Sorry, I’d love to stick about and chat, but I promised I’d look after Mayday tonight; MJ’s having a girl’s night out. See you later!’ With a “thwip” of webbing he was off, leaving Spider-Selene staring at the empty space they had once been.

‘So, you know the difference between the movie and the actual Spider-Society? Well, the bracelets are different, for one… But the really bad thing is… Well…’ She panned the camera, over to where two figures lurked by a futuristic water cooler; tall and powerfully built, a man clad in the venom green suit of a scorpion with his tail lazily curled on the floor, and a man in green and purple carrying a fishbowl helmet under one arm. ‘… Last world I explored? Literally built in the skies; farmlands, windmills, quaint little towns. Local population had wings.’ Mysterio gestured calmly the glint of a fond smile on his face. ‘Why do you get lucky? Mine was a swamp where the trees would try to strangle you with their roots.’ She returned the camera back to herself. ‘See? Literal. Villains. Just walking about with travel bracelets on. In Spider. Society. I… I mean, Mysterio’s kinda hot though, but the point still stands! It’s for Spider-People!’ ‘What did she say?’ She froze up, slowly looking back to where the pair stared at her. Scorpion’s expression narrowed further, his tail lifting from the floor. ‘M-Mac, don’t get carried away now.’ ‘Listen, you entitled little s-‘ ‘Mac.’ Mysterio’s hand on his shoulder seemed to calm whatever rage was building. ‘Look.. Spider-whatever… This place is for all of us to explore and chart the dazzling expanse of the multiverse. Perhaps no-one explained it to you- perhaps you just didn’t want to listen- but me and Mac? In our worlds, we’re the heroes. Don’t take Mac too harshly, he’s had it rough; his local Spider-woman is a terrible villain.’ A look of concern crossed his charming features as he glanced over her shoulder. ‘Perhaps it’s not any particular heroes or villains you should be worried about….’

She turned on her heels, and hurriedly tried to shove her phone back into its pocket. In a sleek black suit, you approached, peering from behind neon blue glasses, the scroll of data running across the lenses. ‘You.’ You paused before her, hands behind your back. ‘Spider-Selene.’ She corrected you, and you shook your head. ‘Lyla, pull her profile, please.’ The scroll of data stopped as you surveyed what had been brought up. ‘Hanna, please come to my office at your earliest convenience; you and I are going to have a little talk.’ She cringed softly at the mention of her name, like a scolded child who knew she had been caught out by a teacher. Finally, she hung her head, all confidence fled. ‘Yes, sir…’

You relaxed back into the chair of your office; its soft cream walls, shelves lined with tokens from other worlds, and the sleek desk with its hardlight screen scrolling the data that passed through the building. Sighing you, pulled the glasses from your eyes and set them aside, blinking at the world as it truly was.  It was fascinating, just how easily you had slipped into this life, this job, in another world and time altogether. Your eyes glanced at the bracelet on your left wrist, the silver-white sparkling in the light, the engraving of a many-branching tree visible upon its surface. Gabriel had a wonderful sense of style for designing their aesthetics. How different your life had become solely because of one extraordinary, wonderful man… The soft knock on the door, the door with that bore your nameplate and title beside it; “Head of HR”. Lyla’s hologram flitted into being on your desk. ‘Got Spider-Selene, here for your chewing out.’ You sighed and sat up straight, feet flat on the floor and pulled the chair closer to the desk, trying to look professional. ‘Let her in, please.’

She slinked across the threshold as the door slid open, hands clasped nervously as she waited for your judgement. ‘Sit down.’ The chair opposite creaked as she did as ordered. You waited for a time before clearing your throat softly. ‘Since it’s nearly lunchtime, I’ll make this brief as I’m sure we’re both hungry…’ You closed down the screen and leaned on your elbows across the desk, no barriers between your eyes. ‘Hanna, I’ve been receiving some...  complaints about you, recently. I know you’ve only been here a month and you might need time to settle in, but the frequency has quickly become… worrying. I deal with Spider-People relatively frequently, some are worse joke tellers than others…’ Realising you were beginning to drift off-topic you cleared your throat softly. ‘These complaints state that you have been… Irritating, unprofessional, and intrusive. Invading private conversations, recording and photographing without permission, and conducting yourself inappropriately in a manner that could be construed as sexual harassment.’ You watched the eyes of her mask grow wide, and you resisted the urge to grit your teeth at the last one. Needless to say, that Miguel certainly didn’t appreciate having his ass groped by yet another Spider-woman who thought he was the hottest thing since fire. ‘N-no! I’m not intrusive! I’m a superhero! I’m a good person!’ ‘We’ve also had complaints about… junk being left around the premises by you.’ ‘No! No, those are crystals and blessing bags! They’re to promote good energy and fill the space with white light… Y’know… cause I’m half-witch.’ ‘Riiight…’ You rolled the word, tone dry, you wished you had a drink beside you, something to stretch out the awkward silence.

‘I don’t know why we have villains just roaming the premises, I mean, surely for Spider-Society they should be sent back to their own worlds, it might damage the Ca-‘ You slammed a hand onto your desk stopping her babbling before she could utter that last, cursed word. ‘No.’ You closed your eyes, exhaling as fingers curled tight into your palm. You blinked your eyes back open, looking up. ‘We are not The Society. We do not wish to be their exclusive club, and we do not respect their views on the theoretical nature of the multiverse. Anyone can be an explorer of the Tree of Infinity. Now, Hanna, I want you to consider this a warning; we expect your behaviour to improve. You are still on probation, and if it does not improve, we may have to say goodbye to you. I will be discussing this matter with Miguel.’ She seemed to sink deeper into her seat at the mention of his name. ‘P-please, can you put in a good word for him with me? Let him know that I think he’s handsome? I-I mean, I don’t mean to brag, but I feel like we’ve got a real connection- we were bitten by the same spider after al-‘ ‘Really? What spider?’ You feigned interest with a gentle smile, knowing she had blabbed herself straight into a corner. ‘U-uh…’ ‘What spider, Hanna?’ ‘Uhh…. Black widow?’ You closed your eyes, chuckling softly as you nodded, and when you opened your eyes again, you could almost make out her relieved smile from beneath her mask. It was time to drop the hammer twice over. ‘Hanna? Miguel wasn’t bitten by a spider. Also, please stop flirting with him. He doesn’t like it, and his boyfriend doesn’t appreciate it. Mm?’ You watched her eyes slowly widen in realisation and drank it in before waving softly, triumphant. ‘You can go now, get some lunch.’

The gloomy room was Miguel’s office in the highest reaches of the tower, illuminated faintly by the sprawling, rotating image of a white tree with many branches. You knew its layout well enough to move through it without falling over anything, as long as Miguel hadn’t moved things around too much. As luck would have it, he had indeed. Your feet became tangled in a mass of cabling that had not been present on your last visit and you felt yourself stumble and begin to fall. You never hit the ground before familiar strong arms caught you and bore you close against his warm chest wrapped in soft clothing. ‘Heh… You’re getting clumsy.’ His deep voice was rich with amusement, right by your ear as he lifted you off your feet with effortless ease. You wrapped your arms around him, squeezing him in a hug with all your might, and his body didn’t yield in the slightest, only a faintly amused huff escaped him for your efforts. ‘You’re the one booby trapping your office to trip me up, Miggy.’ He laughed again and placed a fond kiss to your cheek. ‘Damn, you’ve figured me out… Lyla tells me you’ve been busy. Want to tell me what it’s about?’ ‘Well-‘ ‘Actually, hold that thought. Let’s get comfortable.’

He supported your entire weight with one arm as his other reached out, the “thwip” of the white, organic webbing from his wrist as he launched both you and him up into the upper reaches of his office, to where a hammock of webbing had been constructed. He laid you down on the soft, silken threads and relaxed beside you, the glint of his crimson eyes visible in the faint light. He began to rock the hammock gently with one foot against the wall and you felt utterly safe with one of his arms over your waist. ‘Well… Uh, the crazy witch has been told off. She won’t be groping you anymore. So your ass is safe… Until the next Spider-woman tries….’ ‘Ay dios mio… You think it’s pheromones? You think I produce pheromones that drive them crazy?’ You snuggled closer into him, nuzzling into his neck and sniffing to inhale his wonderful earthen scent. ‘You always smell great to me, Miggy…’ Another little chuckle escaped him, and he kissed the top of your head with a pleased rumble. ‘Uh-huh…? Well, Lyla’s made sure we won’t be disturbed… So, maybe your ass won’t be so safe from me, my love. If you want to do more than just snuggle…’ You snuggled even closer against him, feeling his arm around you tighten with strength that was just shy of hurting- you knew he still held back the lion’s share of his might, he could snap you like a twig if he wanted. ‘I… Think I just want to be with my Spider-Man, right now…’ ‘Heh… Te amo, mi vida…’ He purred as he placed another kiss to your head, still rocking you quietly. ‘I am yours…’

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I designed Spider-Selene to be an incredibly shallow, irritating version of some of the Spidersonas I used to see around Tumblr. Also I love the fact that she just got chomped by a drunk guy in a costume and the world went "Ehh, techncially that counts". Probably doesn't even have any powers (which would explain why ATSV Miguel had no interest in recruiting her)

[gnwzero]

Those Eyes. prt 3

part 1 , part 2 of this series ..

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𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝘷𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘳!𝙭 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧!𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘣𝘣𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘭𝘶𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘯𝘧𝘪𝘤.

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘙𝘰𝘣𝘪𝘯 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘥𝘶𝘰 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘰𝘸𝘯. 𝘕𝘰 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘣𝘰𝘵𝘩, 𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘭 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘛𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘰𝘰𝘯, 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘢 𝘣𝘰𝘺’𝘴 𝘣𝘢𝘴𝘦𝘣𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘭’𝘴 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘨𝘶𝘺, 𝘝𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘏𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘳.. 𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘥 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘯.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘥, 𝘩𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘱𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘬𝘪𝘥𝘯𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘣𝘳𝘶𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘴, 𝘤𝘶𝘵𝘴, 𝘦𝘤𝘵. 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘪𝘧 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘨𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨!

𝐚/𝐧: 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴. 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘦. 𝘪 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘨𝘶𝘺𝘴 𝘦𝘯𝘫𝘰𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘪𝘧 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘮𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶!

𝐰𝐜: 2,956

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When you arrived at Robin’s house, you walked to the front door and knocked as Robin opened the door and smiled, grabbing one of the bags you were holding in your hands and walked inside as you walked in behind him. “You scared me for a second, I thought your dad was there or something.” he said to you as you widened your eyes, setting the bag down on the kitchen table. “He was there, I had to get that asshole Vance Hopper to pretend to be my friend so my dad wouldn’t notice me.” you said as Robin furrowed his eyebrows.

“And how did you manage to get that puta to help you?” he said as he pulled out a chocolate bar from the bag and opened it, taking a bite of it. You shrugged as you grabbed a bag of chips and opened it up, eating a few. “I gave him a couple quarters because he ran out of them for his game.” you told him as he laughed a little and nodded. “You’re feeding into his addiction I see.” he said jokingly and you slapped his arm, giggling. “No I’m not, I was trying to save my own ass from my father.” you said to him as you both giggled and went up to his room to watch a movie.

Robin was a lucky kid when it came to his family life. His mom was an angel from heaven practically and his dad was a really hard worker who cared a lot about his family. Robin was one of the only kids you knew who had a television in his room, his dad had given it to him on his birthday last year and he was sooo excited when he told you about it. All he talked about that whole day was how you guys could watch all the horror movies you could dream of in his room now instead of the living room.

When you two got up to his room, you went and sat on his bed with your bag of chips and kicked your shoes off into the floor as you covered your legs up with his comforter. “So what do you wanna watch? Carrie? The Texas Chainsaw Massacre?” he asked as he looked through his movies on his shelf. Of course, he was only listing out his favorite ones, so you shook your head as you ate some more of your chips. “I wanna watch ‘Let’s Scare Jessica To Death’.” you told him as he sighed and threw his head back dramatically. “Ugh why.” he said as he grabbed the movie disk and slid it into his movie player.

You smiled as he came and sat back down next to you and you put the chips in between the both of you. “Because this movie is so much better than your new gore movies, those are just nasty.” you told him as he shook his head and you two began to watch the movie.

About an hour into the movie, his mom came into his room and peeked her head in the door. “Mijo, your friend is here.” she said to him as he nodded and hopped up to go downstairs to get his friend. His mom smiled at you as you smiled back and waved at her. “Hi Mrs. Arellano.” you said to her as she waved back at you and walked into his room to see you. “Hola Amado.” she said as she sat on his bed in front of you and looked at your cheek as she frowned, seeing the light bruise on it from yesterday. “Oh honey.. I’m so sorry about your papa,” she said as she rubbed your cheek lightly, trying not to put any pressure on the bruise. “It’s okay.” you said as you smiled a little, trying to reassure her that it was okay.. even if it wasn’t okay, you weren’t one to open up to people.

“We really should get authorities involved next time Amado, this is getting out of hand.” she said to you as you nodded your head, not wanting to argue with her. “I’ll make sure to tell them next time, if there is a next time.. I’m sure he’s not going to continue doing it.” you told her (lying), as she nodded her head. Robin walked back up the stairs and into his room with Finney as you smiled when you saw him and patted the spot on the bed beside you for him to sit down. “I’ll let you kids have fun now,” Mrs. Arellano said as she stood up from the bed and looked at Robin. “No hagas mucho ruido después de las nueve, tu padre tiene trabajo por la mañana, amor.” she said to him as he nodded his head, sitting down next to you and Finney sat on your other side. “Okay mamá, te amo, duerme bien.” Robin said as Mrs. Arellano smiled and kissed his cheek before walking out of his room and shutting the door to his room.

“I’m happy you could come, I didn’t think you were going to.” you said to Finney as he grabbed a few chips from the bag and smiled, nodding his head. “Yeah, I told my dad it was for a project so he decided to let me come.” he told you as Robin laughed. “Both of you guy’s parents think we’re doing a project right now when we’re actually just watching a horrible horror movie.” Robin said as you slapped his arm, widening your eyes. “This movie is good, you’re just a sucker for blood which I've got to say is a bit abnormal, you’re gonna kill someone one day.” you said to him, jokingly, as he giggled and shoved you. “The only reason I would kill anyone is for you.” he said as Finney faked frowned at him. “Fuck you too.” he said to Robin as all three of you laughed.

For the next few hours, the three of you watched movies and talked, eating all the snacks you had previously bought from the Grab N’ Go earlier in the day. Finney fell asleep next to you as you and Robin continued talking about whatever came to mind. “It’s so weird that your dad didn’t notice you in the store today, it’s shocking honestly.” he told you as you nodded your head. “Yeah, I’m really thankful that he didn’t though. If it wasn’t for Vance today then my ass would’ve been torn as soon as he saw me.” you said to him as he nodded a little, clearly in a more ‘serious’ state than before.

“I’m really sorry that he hit you yesterday Cariño, you didn’t deserve it.” he said to you as you looked down at the sheets of his bed, messing with the wrinkles on them with your fingers tips. Robin was the only person who you ever let your guard down around, and whenever you were in a state like this, he knew that you needed to be comforted. He wrapped his arms around you as you blinked away a few tears and laid your face in his neck. “I just hate him.” you told Robin quietly as he nodded and caressed the back of your head with his hand. “I know Cariño, I know.” he said as he held you in his embrace. After a while of laying with Robin as he hugged you tightly, you fell asleep in his arms as he drifted off to sleep just a few moments later.

The morning after the sleepover, you all three ate breakfast before you left to go home for the day. You wanted to stay and hangout, since it was Saturday and you had nothing else to do, but you knew your dad would be upset if you didn't come home early. When you got home, you walked inside almost silently as you took your shoes off by the door and looked in the living room as you saw you dad sitting on his chair, sound asleep with about three beer bottles on the side table next to him. You sighed in relief when you saw he wasn’t awake, and walked to your room, shutting your door quietly before setting your bookbag down on the floor. You hopped onto your bed and grabbed the book you had been reading, which you got from the library, off your nightstand and started reading chapter after chapter so you would have something to do.

About two hours into reading your book, your dad knocked on your door and walked in as you looked over at him. You were scared of what he was going to say to you, or maybe even what he was going to do to you.. but then again you hadn’t done anything. “When did you get home?” he asked as you shrugged your shoulders. “Not too long ago, like two hours maybe.” you said, trying not to sound scared as he nodded his head. “Well, I need you to go to the Grab N’ Go and pick up my pills, I would but I have a bad headache.” he said as you nodded and shut your book, standing up and putting on your old tennis shoes. “I’ll go.” you told him as he nodded and walked out of your room. “Don’t be too long.” he said as he walked down the hall.

Once you left to go get his pills, you walked to the Grab N’ Go and walked inside once you got there. You saw Vance playing on the pinball machine once you walked in and rolled your eyes, walking to the register to ask for the pills for your dad. Vance must’ve literally had no life, every single time you went to the Grab N’ Go he was there doing the same exact thing. “How can I help you?” the lady behind the counter said as you told her your father’s name and that you were there to get his prescription. She nodded and walked into the back to get his medication as Vance walked over to the counter with a ten dollar bill to exchange for more quarters.

He looked over at you and furrowed his eyebrows some, “How come I always see you here now?” he said as he put the bill on the counter. You looked over at him and shrugged your shoulders, “Well the first time you saw me here it was to run away from those douchebags that you stopped from fighting me, the second time was to get snacks, and this time is to pick up my dad’s medicine because he’s too lazy to come get it himself.” you said to him as the lady walked back to the counter and handed you the bottle of your dad’s pills. You nodded your head as a ‘thank you’ as she took Vance’s ten dollar bill and started counting out the quarters for him out of the cash register.

“Oh, you should’ve told him to get it himself then.” he said as he watched the lady count out the quarters, making sure she was counting them correctly. You nodded your head, watching her count them too. “It wasn’t that big of a deal, if I told him to get them himself I would be a goner.” you told him as the lady handed him the quarters. “Well then you mine as well be a goner, if you can’t stick up for yourself then what’s the point of being here in this stupid town anyways. Fighting is the biggest thing here it feels like.” he said as he counted the quarters in his hands.

You nodded as you watched him count the quarters. “Yeah, well I don't fight, I just bitch at people and piss them off, then Robin fights them for me.” you said proudly, bragging about your best friend. “Well that’s dumb.” Vance said as he looked back at you, “One day you’re gonna need to know how to fight and you’re not going to be able to since your boyfriend fought all your battles for you.”

“First of all, he’s not my boyfriend,” you said to him as you rolled your eyes, “and secondly, I won’t ever need to fight my ‘own battles’ as long as I have Robin, and he’s not going anywhere.” you told him as he scoffed. “Yeah, and that’s why you almost got your ass beat a few days ago. Where was Robin then?” he said. You furrowed your brows at him, “Shut up, I still didn’t get hurt.” “Yeah thanks to me.” he said as he started walking back over to the pinball machine.

You shrugged your arms, beginning to walk out of the store as you heard Vance grunt from the pinball machine and kick it hard. “Piece of shit! Why isn’t it working!?” he yelled as the lady behind the register came over to the machine to look at it. “I don’t know.. we’ll have it looked at soon I guess, I can’t fix it myself.” she said as he deathstared her before walking out of the store. You laughed a little to yourself as you walked out behind him, maybe he would have to do something other than play that game now. He walked around the side of the building and went to the back of the Grab N’ Go as you furrowed your eyebrows, following behind him to see where he was going.

When you got back there, you saw him lean his back against the wall of the building as he pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and pulled a lighter out of the other pocket, lighting up the cigarette as he inhaled it into his mouth. “What are you doing?” you asked him as he looked over at you with an annoyed look on his face. “Don’t you have anything better to be doing then following a guy behind a Grab N’ Go?” he asked annoyedly. You shrugged your shoulders as you walked over to him, “Don’t you have anything better to be doing then walking behind a Grab N’ Go?” you said to him as you watched him inhale his cigarette again.

“No.” he said as he exhaled the smoke in your direction. “It’s Saturday, I have nothing to do all day.” he said as you nodded and sat on the concrete beside him. “Me neither, so therefore, I can follow whoever I want behind any Grab N’ Go today.” you said as you looked up at him, squinting your eyes at the brightness of the sun. He nodded and sat down next to you, holding the cigarette out in your direction as an offering to you if you wanted to smoke it. You took it from his hand, inhaling it as you blew the smoke out and handed it back to him. “This week has been so long.” you ranted to him as he looked over at you and nodded. “I assumed that it was a long week for you after I saw your bruise yesterday.” he told you as you looked down at the ground, trying to make your bruise less visible.

“There’s no point in hiding it now, I've already seen it.” he said as he hit his cigarette again before putting it out on the ground and stepping on it with his shoe. “It was from me falling off my bike, nothing more.” you said to him as he nodded. “You fell off your bike, yet your knees are completely unscratched and bruised.” he said as he looked at your legs. “And your hands have no cuts on them, if you actually fell off your bike then you would’ve tried to not hit the ground too hard and your hands would’ve gotten beat up.” he said as he looked back at you. You sighed a little as you nodded, knowing you couldn’t convince him it was from a bike crash anymore.

“It’s okay, my dad hits me too.” he told you as you furrowed your brows looking at him. “How did you know that’s what it was?” you asked him. There could’ve been many things other than it being your dad hitting that left the bruise on your face.. how did Vance know it was because of him. “I saw that way you were looking at your dad when he was leaving here yesterday, you looked terrified. I’m assuming that’s the reason why.” he said as you nodded your head. There was no reason to lie to him now. “Yeah, it just sucks. I didn’t want him to get mad at me for being here yesterday, I was supposed to go to Robin’s straight after school.” you said to him as he nodded. “Well screw him, you weren’t doing anything bad, you were just getting snacks.”

You nodded your head and looked at the time on your watch as you widened your eyes a little and hopped up. “I gotta go, he’s gonna kill me if I'm late bringing this home.” you told Vance as he nodded and hopped off the ground too. “Come back here tomorrow if you get the chance and we can smoke back here again.” he said to you, shocking you. Vance Hopper is inviting you to smoke with him? What in the world is going on..

You smiled and nodded your head. “I’ll try my hardest to come.” you said as you waved at him, walking around to the front of the building and walked back to your house. When you got there, you gave your dad his pills and went back into your room, beginning to read your book again before eating dinner and going to sleep.

————————————————————————

𝐚/𝐧: thank you so much for reading! other parts will be posted after this.

[chushanye]

Across the Spider-Verse was so weird because it's over two hours of just build-up with no payoff? This whole movie felt like a set up for the third part in the way the MCU does. And the thing is, they introduced two very interesting topics: parenthood and "opposing" police and then didn't deliver on either. The parenthood storyline featured set-ups like Spider-Woman (Jessica Drew) and her baby. Gwen's "will you adopt me?" and possible found family especially with the repeated discussions on mentorship later in the movie. Gwen's dad commenting on how difficult parenthood is. Rio talking about how hard it is to let go of Miles being her little man. Jeff's talk with spider-man and that thing about spreading his wings. Peter B. Parker and Mayday. Miguel losing his daughter. Like there were so many threads that connected this theme of parenthood and kids learning how to be kind and responsible from adults but that they still need freedom and healthy rebellion even against loved ones. but it never went anywhere and none of it felt connected. at least not within this movie...which is 2h 20min long.

The scene where Miles is about to tell Rio he is Spider-Man could have been so interesting because the thread connecting all spider-people was NEVER cops- it was "Uncle Ben". It was and always has been family, grief, parental role-models and responsibility. but what also connects them is that all of these spider-people lied to their loved ones about their secret identity. right? like lack of communication and lying in order to "protect" them. and while the scene where you realize Miles went into the wrong universe was done fantastically - the music and atmosphere was so good - imagine how good it would have been if Miles chose to break the cycle of pain and death by being open with Rio. he breaks the cycle by being responsible, honest and having trust in his family! and they have to learn how to let him go and "fly" while trusting he will come home safe and that they will be able to care for him. + it would tie at least one theme in this movie together. but it was a fake out scene instead.

but this movie couldn't fully deliver on the parental theme because it goes hand-in-hand with the weird pro-cop thing. you have spider-punk who is there to question all authority but he can't be in the movie for too long because you just KNOW he's anti-police and we can't have that in this movie that literally relies on the assumption that what makes spider-people spider-man is that a fucking police chief dies. and also the whole spider organisation imprisoning anomalies and being judge jury and executioner of what is "right" for the multiverse, and Miguel BEATING THE SHIT out of Miles while telling him he was the original anomaly, that he is a mistake, and so on...(and lets not forget Miles is a young Black boy and all of this carried implications) and the whole plotline that the whole reason this spider-society exists is to specifically target MILES.....bro the implications are so fucking concerning.

and i mean from the first movie miles wants to become spider-man to "help" people the way his dad does so pro-cop idolization was there from the start. but then this sequel attempts to have some criticism of it as well with Gwen's storyline with her dad. where he almost shoots and attempts to arrest her. and i was watching that scene and thinking "you know this is really good criticism because it shows that 'good' cops aren't a thing because they fundamentally are there to protect a system and not actual justice." but then later in the movie they do a 180 and Gwen straight up goes "you're one of the good cops dad. you pick up that badge because if you didn't, worse people then you would" and it's like what kind of "not all cops. the good ones are somehow exempt from the system" bullshit is that? and i thought when she said "you're a good cop, dad" that she was gonna follow it up with "but you're a bad person because of it." and that would have been such a banger line and i got so hyped because that line was so good in my head but no they just straight up went the pro-cop route. also the whole "the thread that connects all spider-men is the death of a chief of police" made no fucking sense. why would the death of his girlfriends dad be super personal to Pavitr and motivate him to be a better Spider-Man???? literally what. WHY was the "thing that connects all spider-men" made to be a fucking police chief. like I'm sorry that's literally so stupid I was sitting there so fucking confused like "it was family????? the line was always with great power comes great responsibility and that they learn the lesion from someone near and dear to them. and Jeff taught miles to "go by the book" and Mile's opposing this spider-society is him refusing to do that (tying into the theme of rebellion) -> so he thematically realizes he need to oppose organisations that follow rules fundamentally opposed to his morals of not killing people....but he doesn't question his dads job? idk between that parallel and spider-punk, and gwen and her dad i thought something fruitful was gonna be there

but i guess i should be that surprised because marvel has been ramming the pro-military and pro-state propaganda for years now. it just feels so performative in this movie where gwen has "protect tans kids" on her wall and miles has a "BLM" pin.

[ruffboijuliaburnsides]

y’know, the moment there was a comic announced where jessica drew. JESSICA DREW. was pregnant and having a kid. and it was super clear that this was not going to be a story exploring why she WAS NOT INTERESTED in having a kid.

and that’s when I lost interest in Marvel comics.

The moment you dump Jess Drew’s backstory, as the lab-created child of essentially-nazis, who had serious issues with shit like. breeding and eugenics and the trauma she has being the product of that shit, and you’re not GRAPPLING with all of that? Like I don’t care if she has a kid, but you have to at least let her come to terms with the shit surrounding her birth and parentage before you force her to carry to term???

This is also the reason across the spiderverse!Jess will never actually be Jessica Drew to me. Because when you take a character whose defining backstory characteristic is “her biological parents were eugenicist nazis” and “she’s naturally blonde and dyes her hair black bc she hates that whole aryan bullshit” and you rewrite her to be a black woman? That’s uh. That’s a different character. The same way Cass Cain in the Birds of Prey movie is a great character but is NOT Cass Cain from the comics. Like. Why’d you use that name. That’s not the character.

So yeah. IDK I’m just. Frustrated. And I miss my girl. And this is not my girl.

[thecowboykatsuki-anon]

Unfinished Business- Chapter 1

Summary: You never imagined Bakugou would fall in love with you, and you certainly never imagined you’d break up with him. But he did. And you do. And now there’s too many pieces for one person to pick up. 

Genre: angst, possible smut in further chapters

Word Count: 2,430

Chapter warnings: cussing, reader has a quirk (can produce a neurotoxin that can temporarily paralyze enemies or temporarily take away pain; cannot produce both types at the same time; does not work on self)

A/N- song I listened to while writing: At Least by Jessica Baio; this chapter is formatted a bit differently, as it’s mostly a precursor to the main story, and I kinda got carried away creating a basis for the relationship with Bakugou. Oops? Reblogs/comments greatly appreciated! <3

When you first met Pro-Hero Dynamight, it had been pure chance. He'd been on his way to starting his own agency but still putting in hours as one of his old mentor's best heroes.

You weren't sure what made Jeanist think you'd be a promising duo, but he was insistent on pairing the two of you up on patrol, despite the large gap in experience.

And it wasn't that you weren't a good hero, with a quirk suited for both attack and rescue; you were lucky you'd gotten so much time in the field. But despite all this, Bakugou still felt miles ahead of you in experience, something he was sure to remind you of when you went on your first patrol together.

It wasn't a secret that the blonde was prickly and had a temper, and as much as he respected his mentor, he clearly wasn't happy about being partnered up. He'd insisted for the first hour that he worked better alone because 'he didn't have to worry about anyone keeping up with him.

The irony that he was trailing behind you the whole time wasn't lost on you as you pretended to listen, scanning the dark streets for any disturbances while he grumbled, strutting like he owned the entire city.

He was insufferable, tugging on a strand of your hair every time he felt like maybe you weren't paying attention to his bragging. He was so caught up in pestering you that you almost missed the black-clad figure crawling out of an upper apartment window with a backpack slung over their shoulder.

You'd taken off first, Bakugou cursing behind you, and after a brief chase, you couldn't help but laugh, panting with the robber incapacitated beneath your knee.

"I thought no one could keep up with you, Dynamight," you'd teased when he stopped next to you, puffing. He'd froze, and for a moment, you were sure he was gonna blow you up right then and there, and then he'd laughed.

Full-on laughed like the sound had started in his toes and worked its way up, and you'd been so startled that he only laughed harder.

Everything after that just fell into place. Bakugou requested to be paired with you more often, no matter which shifts you had to take, insisting on carpooling when you had graveyard shifts, coffee waiting for you in the center cupholder of his car. He'd only ever heard you order it once, yet he got it made perfectly every time.

Over the months, you spent as much time together outside of work as inside, and movie nights at your apartment more often turned into you and the large pro falling asleep on your couch, far closer than you'd been when you first fell asleep. You quickly got acquainted with the smell of his cologne, the way the corners of his mouth twitched when he was trying not to laugh, and the way he used insults to convey affection.

You would be lying if you said you didn't fall hard for him, cherishing those quiet patrols where the two of you would be able to look over the dark city from a rooftop, talking about nothing and everything.

And then suddenly, his agency started to take off, and he was gone more than he was around. You were back to solo patrols, and he spent most of his time with Jeanist, trying to learn how to manage an entire company.

And yet, without fail, there was always a coffee on your desk at some point during your shift, the only indicator you'd get that he was around at all. Well, besides the occasional glimpse of orange and green as he headed out on more important missions.

He always seemed to know when you had your own big missions coming up, suddenly appearing in the gear room to help you get suited up without a word, cracking jokes to ease your nerves.

The only time the blonde ever helped you quietly was before your first covert mission with him, his fingers brushing against your bare skin as he helped you zip up your suit. He clearly had a lot on his mind, mouth set into a firm line as he adjusted your equipment absently.

In truth, you knew why. Bakugou'd voiced the opinion that this mission hadn't been scouted enough, that they'd be sending in heroes blind, but the commission had disagreed, and he'd been outvoted.

You tried to joke with the blonde once before you parted ways, teasing him about keeping up with you, an attempt at some sort of reassurance for both of you, earning you nothing but a strained smile before he busied himself with checking over his own suit.

You'd turned to leave when his hand had shot out, catching your wrist in his hand, the material of his glove catching on your skin.

"Come back safe, 'kay?" He'd murmured quietly, cracking a small smile when he took in your stunned stance. "We've got unfinished business," he joked weakly, and as he released you, you couldn't help but wonder if he had meant more than just your competition to see who was faster.

As it turns out, he'd been right about the mission, with more heroes coming back hurt than there should have been, comms lost for more than half the conflict. He'd crushed you into his chest when he'd found you back at the agency, unhurt besides a few scratches and bruises littering your skin.

He'd insisted on spending the night at your place after you'd been cleared medically, just in case they'd missed something, and for the first time, he'd crawled into your bed. Of course, a few hundred pillows propped between the two of you.

After that, you saw him more. He made a point to see you when he delivered your coffee, fingertips brushing over yours when he handed you the cup.

During a meeting discussing the plan for you to take over Dynamight's duties when he left, Bakugou silently handed one off to you in front of Jeanist. The older pro had stopped mid-sentence to watch the exchange, raising a brow and asking the younger blonde if everyone got that same special treatment in his agency, earning a glare from Bakugou as his face turned bright red, and you ducked your head to hide your own embarrassment.

Jeanist wasn't the only one to notice the closeness between the two of you, other coworkers gushing to you about how cute you'd look together as you shushed them, denying the way your heart raced at the thought.

But you couldn't lie that you'd noticed a change in your interactions with the blonde, waving them away as him just being friendly, even as you now spent your movie nights in his arms, his breath warm on the back of your neck.

He wasn't able to come help you suit up anymore, running a new agency clearly taking a toll on him, but for specific missions, he'd still show, right before you left, to give your hand a squeeze and say: "Come back safe, we've got unfinished business" with a wink or a smile. It became the new ritual, and you'd be lying if you claimed that he didn't awaken a swarm of butterflies in your stomach every time he grabbed your hand.

And just when you'd resigned yourself to the current closeness, sure this is all you'd ever get from him, you'd been sent off on a dangerous mission without him.

You hadn't meant to overhear it when he had been arguing with Jeanist in the old pro's office, you hadn't even known he was around, but you couldn't help but listen.

"Let me go with her. I'll be more of an asset there than I will here," Bakugou insisted, his voice muffled by the thick wooden door between you. You could hear the frustration in his voice and the heavy sigh that Jeanist let out before responding.

"You have a new agency to run; you can't go away for a week, Dynamight. Think like the number 3 pro, please," Jeanist pleaded.

"I am! She's not ready for this," Bakugou snapped back, and hurt rolled through you at his statement. You'd worked just as hard as he had to get here, and you'd thought if anyone had known that, it would be him. You turned to leave when Jeanist's response caught your attention.

"She's not ready for this, or you're not? Don't let your personal feelings cloud your judgment."

There was a long pause before Bakugou spoke again, quiet enough that you had to strain to hear him, nearly pressed up against the door, heart in your throat.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he muttered, and you jumped at the sound of Jeanist's soft chuckle.

"Bakugou, I have eyes. And so does every other employee here. You don't have to-"

"I'm not talking about this," Bakugou cut off his mentor quickly, his voice much closer than it had been a moment ago as he stomped across the office. You scrambled away from the door right as it swung open, dragging your horrified gaze to meet Bakugou's, and for a long moment, the two of you just stared at each other like deer in headlights.

You opened your mouth, stammering out an excuse about needing to talk to Jeanist, but Bakugou pushed past you silently before you could finish, hands shoved deep in his pockets.

You didn't see him for the next two weeks, and every text you sent him was replied to with as few words as possible. You forced yourself to busy yourself with prepping for your mission, but your thoughts wandered to the blonde often, wondering if he missed you like you were missing him.

You didn't expect him to show up in the gear room, assuming everything was over between the two of you, the embarrassment that people thought he liked you too much for the man to handle.

You had your back turned, suit half-zipped in the back, when familiar hands brushed over your skin, making you jump.

"Let me help," he'd murmured, and you froze, all the frustration and hurt bubbling to the surface as you rounded on the taller hero, ready to demand an explanation.

When your gaze met his, you stopped short, taking in the dark circles under his eyes, and softened. You opened your mouth to ask him what was going on with him when he shook his head, stopping you before you could start.

"I know I've been a dick. I'm sorry. I just- I needed to think- no, I needed to figure out how-" he stopped short, muttering under his breath as he tilted his head back to glare at the ceiling.

You glanced at the time quietly, fully aware that if you didn't leave now, you'd be late for the first mission you were in charge of. You stepped forward, pressing a hand against the hard plane of his chest to get his attention, and shook your head as you spoke, eyes cast down. "Katsuki, listen, I need to go, so whatever it is you need to say, you'll have to-"

His eyes widened in panic as you spoke, and his hand flew to trap yours against his chest. You glanced up sharply as his other hand found your face, tilting your jaw as he folded himself in half to clumsily slot his mouth over yours.

You'd imagined so many times what his lips felt like, but as you stood there in shock, all that you could think of was how soft they were, his hand sliding back to cup the back of your neck so he could kiss you deeper, smoother, a content hum rumbling through his chest. Beneath your hand, you could feel his heart hammering, rivaling the pounding of your own as your fingers curled into his shirt.

He kissed you slowly like he was trying to drink you in, his hand leaving yours on his chest to land on your hip and pull you flush against him. You let out a quiet whine against his mouth, and the sound seemed to snap him out of it as he pulled away just enough to press his forehead against yours, panting quietly. His cheeks were tinged when he spoke, his thumb sliding over your bottom lip as he watched.

"Come back to me," he breathed, amending the statement you'd gotten so used to hearing fall from those lips before continuing. "We've got unfinished business," he chuckled softly, and for a moment, you were sure he would kiss you again as you stretched forward, eyes fluttering shut.

"You're gonna be late," he warned quietly, pulling gently out of your reach as his hands fell from your body, and then he was gone.

If someone had asked you now to give a full recount of that mission, you'd fail. But you could remember your reunion with Katsuki down to every last detail.

You hadn't even given him a chance to talk when he'd walked into your apartment, shutting him up with your mouth pressed against his, your hands tangled in his hair to tug him down to you.

He'd grunted in surprise but happily obliged, warm hands spreading over your hips to tug you closer as you walked him backward, only breaking apart when the back of his legs hit the edge of your couch, and he toppled back, taking you with him.

He was careful to break your fall, and you were careful not to hurt him as you fell, and he chuckled, his face pressed against your cheek as he held you close.

"Missed you," he breathed, relaxing his hold enough to let you look up at him, a broad smile spreading across his face. You reached up to cup his cheek, heart fluttering when he closed his eyes and leaned into it, his lips brushing over your palm.

"This feels right," he admitted, pretty ruby eyes fluttering open as he leaned forward to press a softer, less desperate kiss against your mouth as you melted into him, humming in agreement.

After nearly a year of being so close to the pro but holding yourself back, this felt like coming home, like he'd filled a hole you were denying existed. You felt complete in his arms, surrounded by his cologne and his lips brushing against yours.

At that moment, you were sure you'd found in Katsuki Bakugou a love that would last forever. But in the end, forever was just a little too far away.

[madreemeritus]

POTO adaptations analysis — Part 3 — The Phantom of the Paradise (1974), directed by Brian de Palma, starring Paul Willians, William Finley and Jessica Harper

this movie is a mix of Faust, The Phantom of the Opera and The Picture as a gothic/horror/comedy glamrock so you already know what to expect (and it was directed by Brian de Palma, the same dude who directed 1976's "Carrie")

Positive aspects (trying to not put the whole movie here):

– WHAT A FUCKING PHOTOGRAPHY, it barely looks like a 1970s movie fr

– WHAT A FUCKING SOUNDTRACK, no matter what genre plays during the movie it's so fucking iconic i love it 🥹

– Winslow Leach my beloved, aside from Erik Destler (Robert Englund) he's the best remade of original Erik we have, a little unhinged yet still pathetic and lovable

– Beef is ✨ICONIC✨ he SLAYS in gay 💅

– the figurine 🥹 omg what a fucking amazing techno-goth figurine

– the clips are so well made, the scene where Winslow rewrites his song for Phoenix while the red candle melts is probably my favorite

– Phoenix (our Christine/Marguerite) is so perfect and babygirl and girlboss iconic wonderful diva 💞

– AND, she and Winslow share the best platonic chemestry. I love them

– the mixt of tension, glamrock, comedy and tragedy are simpley perfect

– idk what's the meaning of this, but the characters are strangely related to birds: Swan, Phoenix and Winslow's mask

– speaking of mask, his design is PERFECT and it inspired Darth Vader's design (yes, Brian de Palma and George Lucas were friends and the POTP came out 2 years before Star Wars)

– as I said before, the movie mixes POTO, Faust and The Picture of Dorian Gray, in a perfect way ✨💅

– the movie also criticizes the music industry, with both Phoenix and other objectified women and the injustice that happens with Winslow Leach

– Swan is a hateful villain, but in a good way, he's also iconic and very well written (and acted)

– how the plot explores the paralels with Faust is so fantastic

– the scene where Winslow brings Phoenix to the rooftop looks like a reference to the 1925s POTO, where Erik as Red Death spies on Raoul and Christine

– Winslow's deformity is AWESOME

– the ending, tho tragic, gives Phoenix and Winslow the scene i wanted to see with Christine and Erik

Negative aspects:

– the scene where Winslow discovers the supernatural true about Swan and the deal he signed is kinda... convenient? Like, a hidden recording that explains the plot-twist? That's kinda of a scritp cheat

– i wish Phoenix had more scenes tho (she still slays)

Movie score: 9/10 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌗

[belovedbastardremus]

Immaculate/Dune 2 comparative

In the very beginning of the second part of Denis Villeneuve's Dune, Jessica uses a rock to kill a man who Paul had his back to. Even when taking into account the fact that Paul went out of their hiding spot to kill the Harkonnen soldier before he reached them, it is ultimately Jessica who saves him. She makes the choice she has already made times and times again, she puts herself in danger for him, just like she deviated from the path that was laid for her to birth him. That detail is even more starking when you remember that Bene Gesserit sisters, among their total control of their bodies, can physically chose which egg and which spermatoroïd to use to have their child. Jessica choses Paul over her destiny, whether she sees the Kwishach Haderach already is unclear, but her choice is still only hers. In the movie Immaculate, which Sidney Sweeney produces while taking on the lead role of Sister Cecilia, an American nun who arives into an Italian coven and quickly discovers that there is something wrong. She is pregnant and made to believe, like everyone else, that it is a miracle, that she has been chosen to carry the 'savior'. However things quickly become even more concerning, a sister tries to drown her while declaring that she herself should have been 'the one'. Another is tortured and has her tong cut after speaking out on the priest's insistence that Cecilia does not see a doctor, even at five months of pregnancy. After killing the priest who she discovers had impregnated her with the DNA found on a 'relic of Chirst', and had tried to give her a C-section in the catacombs while she tried to escape, Cecilia escapes. She birthes the baby in bloodcurling screams, covered in blood, right outside of the monastery, in the Italian countryside. She then takes a rock right from the ruins in front of her and kills the baby. She makes her choice, she too, decides to stray away from the path that had been laid for her by others.

In their quest to seek the humans, determine who is worthy of being apart of their breeding program, the Bene Gesserit stray progressively from humanity. The value of life is limited by the need for another life, thus of the Kwisach Haderach, which the entire enterprise of the Misiona Protectiva revolves around. They led themselves towards failure, or more towards an inhuman victory the second they determined one life was more important than the other. They made their end goal inappealing to the people who were supposed to contribute to it, Jessica was not given any choice in her faith, she was only ever taught to be sufficient for her place in the general scheme. When she decided to take it, she turned towards herself, because she was been forced to look outwards and had found no satisfaction or even completion in it. Being a horror movie, Immaculate carries less nuance, although the clarity of its message doesn't suffer from it. Religion is a cover, a useful facade for the project of a madman. The supposed word of god, written by and for men, could have never brought anything other than misery to women. The priest's obssession with creating the child of God came from his genetic fantasy, which he then made sense of through religion, because its vagueness permited it. The sisters of the coven then fell into it, led by their faith, which they had been taught not to question. Cecilia fell into this plan against her will, which is enough to tell us that it is wrong, and that they know it, otherwise they would have let her in on the secret. The surrounding characters exploit the fact that she does not speak italian to lie to her face, their fanaticism bleeds through their every word, and Cecilia being good-willing she lets it be. By killing the child, she makes the whole enterprise pointless, all her suffering, all the death the program caused, she brings it back to its futility. Even if the child were to live, nothing could have changed, being the bringer of this conclusion makes her the final girl of her own story. She makes the right choice and doesn't have to fail for the plot to advance because the point is not for her to despair. She is right, she is in fact the only one with common sense left. In both the cases the object of the killing is not shown, we do not see the bodies of the soldier or the newly born abomination, because it is not the point. The soldier represents the bigger surrounding menace but is weak on its own, the Atreides will exterminate it anyway. The so-called 'savior', put on a pedestral all along is not shown because that would place it at the center of the story even though it had taken no part in it nor shall it. The baby was never a reason, and so it should not be presented as a character. Its death is a means to an end, the movie culminates in horror with its birth, we only see Cecilia. She is alive, she matters, and the object she kills is in her way, so the choice is easy.

[jedinotes]

The Power of Dune Part Two’s Final Act: Stepping Away From the Messiah

Stunning photo by Jack Davidson

So I didn't think I would be talking about Dune in my first post for this page (considering that I intended it to be more Star Wars focused and also since I haven't read the Dune books yet), but the final stretch of this movie has been on my mind ever since I left the theater a few weeks ago.

(Spoilers for Dune: Part Two)

It's strange in the sense that we are suddenly distanced from Paul, and also in that the climax seems to accelerate the story faster than ever before. So far (in both movies), there has been a pretty strong focus on Paul and a very deliberate pace that let all the plotlines simmer. It’s a masterclass of immersion, both technically and emotionally. The humanity of its characters aren’t lost in the many elements at play. Paul is a character whose empathy and how it makes him conflicted with what is placed before him make him quite likable. Spending so much time with him, Chani, and Stilgar makes us grow attached to them, not just because they’re the heroes, but because they feel real. And yet we’re pushed away. In the third act Paul's dark transformation happens swiftly (you’d initially think from how it’s shown the water of life turns you evil), and by the story’s end we only see Paul from a distance in the eyes of other characters, unable to see him resolving the concerns we’ve wrestled along with him, unable to get a good read on his motivations anymore. The final battles with our heroes happen rather quickly as victory over the Harkonnans and the Emperor comes pretty easily. On one hand this shift could feel unsatisfying, and the first time I watched the movie I was a little unsatisfied. But I’m not here to say this is a fault of the movie; in fact, this shift results in something greater happening, and it’s the most powerful triumph of Part Two’s story.

By the end, even when we do zoom in on Paul we're not sure what's really behind his intensity. (All the Dune screencaps are from Dune Perfect Shots 4K on Twitter).

Dune’s story up until this point, from what I know about these two films at least, is all about complexity, discerning the many variables, the need to carefully monitor both these variables and one's own behavior. The importance of mastering oneself. (This video by Alt Shift X talks about this really well, and it definitely helped me understand this aspect of the story better). But Paul’s tests, like the Gom Jabbar in Part 1 and the worm ride in Part 2, carry not just that significance but also the danger of a prophetic horror being more and more certain. Therein lies an irony - you can gain power but tied to it is something much larger that’s out of your control. This becomes pretty key to the whole story, and there’s something I was reminded of that helped me put all this into perspective. I brought this up in my first-time watch review too, but I think I have more to say about it now. But bare with me as this might end up being convoluted.

In one of my classes this semester we read the poem “The Promised Land” by Gabeba Baderoon, and I was really struck by this image that it alludes to called the Angel of History.  Described by Walter Benjamin based on the painting Angelus Novus by Paul Klee, it depicts an angel whose wings get caught in the winds of a destructive storm “blowing from Paradise.” It’s trapped in the storm’s momentum going forwards with no way to escape. All the while, its head is permanently twisted backwards, forced to watch the wreckage of the storm, named progress, gathering below it. From what we discussed in that class this disturbing image suggests that all the events of history, all that we do or achieve or create, is not a series of events affecting each other, but instead one ever-building catastrophe barreling forwards. Both the Bene Gesserit’s century-spanning machinations and Jessica’s usurping of it all by birthing a boy. Whether the Harkonnen house or the Atreides house controls Arrakis. All of these are merely before a future that’s larger than any of them individually; the messiah and his holy war will come regardless. Even if it’s towards her own end rather than that of the Bene Gesserit, Jessica still uses their propaganda to facilitate his rise. The two houses end up converging anyways in their family trees with the Baron, and Muad’dib Atreides embraces it, merging the two families’ ideologies like the Kwizatz Haderach was always intended to. Whether his sudden ruthlessness is him embracing his desire for revenge or actually a strategic choice after sifting through the past and futures laid out, we’re denied of knowing for sure as we look at him from afar, and this denial by the film questions if the answer even matters much. The Angel image and the movie’s narrative dispel the idea that we have the capability to easily fix things when we make progress. It’s a notion that renders reasoning or means as having little ability to empower, envisioning us all moving towards the same horror anyways. It suddenly renders all the complexity of the plot and these competing ideas and factions inconsequential. And I don’t mean that in a bad way — it’s crucial to what the film is really getting at.

"We're Harkonnens... so that's how we'll survive. By being Harkonnens."

“You of all people should know there are no sides, Reverend Mother.”

Now, it’s fair to question the nihilistic bent of this (are we in the real world truly powerless to stop to this continuous catastrophe???), but the Angel of History and Dune use the stories they put forth as cautionary tales where that all-encompassing bleak endgame are meant to deconstruct our notions of progress and control. If we are powerless to shape history, how strong is the power we wield? And how good is the power we wield? As we strive for “paradise” and celebrate attaining it we often forget what happened as we got there, and we fail to see where we really are. If the reasoning for our actions doesn’t empower us, the effects of them in turn are even more debasing. The Baderoon poem that alludes to the Angel of History does so to examine this too. In its discussion of the end of apartheid and the ushering in of a democratic South Africa, “The Promised Land” weaves in the legacy of the jazz pianist Moses Molekelwa, who, despite influencing the poem’s speaker’s attitudes towards social progress (and appearing as an idol in that sense), is shown as getting off the hook in the eyes of history for strangling his wife to death. The triumph of his music is remembered while his wife’s murder is willfully forgotten, and the poem concludes that “our forgetting is also our home, which is why we will never leave the old country.” Baderoon warns of when the celebration of progress doesn’t factor in the ugly parts we still carry with us into the future, and her allusion to the Angel of History works to convey that danger. (Obviously the real anti-apartheid struggle of South Africa is very very different from the story of Dune, and I wouldn’t want to compare them to each other. Dune’s exploration of complicated progress instead speaks more towards the dangers of charismatic leaders and the co-opting of a cause). The only thing I want to highlight is just that Dune, Baderoon’s poem, and the Angel of History all hone in on the need to not lose sight of the now. 

This is why the third act’s shift away from Paul works so well. The film doesn’t show people “forgetting” necessarily, but we do see them caught in the fervor without acknowledging what’s happening to them. Paul is an exception in that he sees it all: his arc sees him changing his perspective on the destiny laid ahead and taking control to ensure it happens on his terms. He doesn’t really turn evil, but since we’re denied of seeing past his new icy exterior as he looks ahead with his prescience, the film instead turns us back to the now, like the angel looking behind. We're with Chani now, the only (non-psychic) person who’s seeing this all. We already believe in Paul’s goodness. If we were to see what Paul sees and fully understand his reasoning, it would make it easy for us to downplay the costs. The story thus has us focus on the consequences of Paul’s path beginning to gather in real time, the Fremen being exploited as they are led into a coming bloodbath by their messiah.

And this is the sadness of it all, right? Things that were once honorable, like Jessica protecting Paul like she promised Leto and the legacy of Leto that Gurney hopes for Paul to carry with him, are twisted into foul and manipulative actions. Good intentions and real connections, like Paul’s empathy, his and Chani’s relationship, and his and Stilgar’s friendship, all give way to the storm.

The quickness of the third act’s events compounds this danger. The path Paul takes may be the best possible option after considering all the variables, but the story doesn’t revel too long in the glory of his successful leadership and strategy.

The awe-inspiring images speak not to just heroism but something volatile and intoxicating. It's not that the film oversimplifies the moral dilemmas at stake, but by letting the big battle, Gurney slaying Rabban, and Paul slaying the Baron happen all too easily, it removes the focus from only being the powerful exploits of Paul and the Fremen and adds emphasis on how they become like Harkonnens and how the Fremen become entrenched in Paul’s conquest. The Harkonnen bodies are burned like the Atreides were before them, and the Fremen Fedaykin ultimately fight carrying the Atreides banner instead of their own. They lose sight of this fact as they place all their faith in Paul, their cause and faith co-opted. It happens so fast and it can’t be stopped. We’re caught in the momentum of the storm raging, pushing us forward, and at the same time the film adjusts its focus to ensure that we don’t forget to recognize the consequences of Paul’s choices. This is what I find so compelling about this movie — we’re given a story that details the complexity of all things and also ultimately denies complicated factors and necessary evils of becoming excuses that wave the wreckage of progress away.

Hopefully this was enjoyable to read and wasn't pretentious or anything! Lemme know what you think about the movie!

[popcornforone]

The Clients Company

A Max Lord Fan Fic

The random conversations you have with friends eh? I was at a friends birthday party & someone mentioned something that prominent in this fic & now here I am just under a month later with it ready for you all. & yea I got carried away with it. Max Lord is joining the party.

Synopsis: You hire entertainment for your friends Hen party which is 80s themed but the when you lay eyes on the rather scrumptious Max Lord the party might not ever stop.

Word count:6800

Warnings: DONOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDER 18! PIV protected & unprotected sex, pulling out, facial, cum play, consent & at some points lack of it, one off, swearing, alcohol, it’s not paying for sex but they are both hired by each other, teasing, stripping, adult entertainment, oral. Max Lord is in the modern world not the 80s but there is an 80s party. Hen party shenanigans.

Thanks as always for the read peoples. All feedback is appreciated. Enjoy your rather special hen party.

Jessica walks into the air bnb you’ve hired looking very confused, in the dark.

“Oh is this it?” She says dismissively “me & the two of you & take out pizza what a”

“SURPRISE!!!” Lucy turns the next light on & all her friends leap out, Jessica is over come with excitement. All her friends have crammed into one small box room to make her arrival to her hen party even more memorable. Screams hugs & kisses happen between Jessica & everyone. You & Lucy high five each other. Jessica has two friend groups & you, as the maid of honour, had asked Lucy to help you sort a few things out & contact the girls you didn’t know as well.

“We did good Lucy” you whisper as you both bring out the Prosecco. “& this is just the start” you have a surprise that even Lucy doesn’t know about.

Jessica loves 80s movies, music & fashion so you’ve made her hen party 80s themed. There pictures of the Hoff, wham & Duran Duran are on repeat & she is beaming.

“I can’t believe you did all this for me”

“Well you only get married once” Lucy replies.

“Or never” you scoff under your breath. You are the only single girl at this party to the best of your knowledge. Everyone’s got someone to snuggle on cold winter nights or a casual fling. But you haven’t had a date in 6 months. You’ve been trying to find a plus one for the wedding but you know it’s not going to happen now. You’ve let that ship sail. You hand out the first set of drinks & then the doorbell goes & you scuttle off quickly.

You open the door & usher the person in.

“Hi is this the hen party? Am I at…”

“Yea you are please go get changed in the bathroom, the bride will be astounded, she’s just arrived.” You can’t see much of his facial features, it’s raining outside. His hood is up & done up tightly around him. He scurries in & you show him to the bathroom to the side of the room that you are sleeping in. “Just through here, if you could make your entrance in about 5mins that would be fantastic.”

“No problem at all, you wanted 80s & early 90s right?” You see him set his bag down, coat not off hood still up.

“Yes please” you shut the bathroom door, leave your bedroom & head back to the party.

Everyone’s giggling & Jessica then asks “so what’s the plan?”

“Well we are eating & drinking & playing some games here & then into town for karaoke & clubbing….” Your smirk gives away something else is up & everyone looks keenly at you. “… unfortunately I couldn’t get us in to see the dream boys” the whole room goes oooohhhh & booos. The dream boys are your local strippers who do go all the way. “But…” everyone’s eyes pick up”I have got us a butler” everyone cheers & right on cue this glorious man appears playing some rather posh music from his phone. Floppy curtain style hair that bounces, rosey cheeks & big brown eyes. He’s got long sleek black trousers on underneath a very small apron & a white shirt with a bow tie, but no shoes. The room gawps at him excitedly. They are just happy to have a butler for the afternoon, they don’t know yet who he really is. Even with the 80s hair wig you find him attractive, those eyes would melt anyones soul.

“Ladies, Hens & the gorgeous bride Jessica, my name is Max Lord, a Lord now demoted to being a butler, but ladies, by the way you are all looking today, you all deserve a lord for the night” everyone claps & woohooos aloud. He then slowly walks across to Jessica. You made her wear white while you all wore dark blue her favourite colour. “My my you must be the bride” & he kisses the back of her hand & then whispers in her ear, to get her consent. He will go over the ground rules with everyone in a minute but as the bride & centre of the attention for the party he will do a lot more with her than anyone else. “Tell me Jessica,” his tone has turned seductive. “Does your soon to be husband have an arse like mine?” He grabs he hands, pulling them behind him to smack his bum. Giggling insues from the other hens. “Does he tell you how beautiful you are? Does his chest feel like this?” He trails her hands down his shirt & Jessica looks so excited. “Didn’t think so” he then stands to the side of Jessica as she looks up at this man. You’re biting your fist knowing exactly what coming. & for some reason even before the reveal you’re really turned on, more than you should be.

“You see ladies, I’m not just a butler” he raises an eyebrow, every woman is now putty in his hand. Those eyes & his charisma are working everyone in the room. “I have special gifts, but before I share these gifts with you, I need you all to agree that unless I whisper & give you permission or you consent, to try & contain yourselves, lets go around the room & check” every girl agrees. Maggie is a bit to enthusiastic, she’s obviously worked this out.

“I consent Mr lord” you reply & he smiles the most at your response.

“Well ladies let’s have a fabulous hen party shall we.” He hands go either side of his shirt which is held together with Velcro & her strips it off. Leaving just his bow tie on top. “My name is Max Lord…” & he then then turns around & his trousers are also Velcro & they come off too. Showing his peachy arse to you all, he’s just wearing a gstring “… your butler in the buff” screams fill the air & he blushes as he wiggles his bum, each cheek moving, not a blemish in sight.

“Wahay” one of the girls shouts”you did good girl”. Max then turns around so his bum is in Jessica’s face.

“Beautiful bride would you help me by removing my gstring, it’s rather uncomfortable” the next thing you all see is Jessica waving it in the air after it’s been taken off & she smacks his bum. “Very cheeky miss, bet you love a good spanking” Jessica turns red & Max then says he will be at our beck & call for drinks all afternoon & that he is happy to pose for pictures & be in party games, but to always ask before anyone touches him & that this works better with some boundaries.”I hate being the spoil sport but you all know what I mean” everyone nods & the party continues.

The games are going well & it’s been a lot of fun & Jessica is being spoiled by you, the girls & Max. You’re loving the fact that everyone’s having a good time. You not as tipsy as everyone else, you know you’ve got a schedule to keep to & certain things to do before you head out later tonight. You are clearing away some penis cake that you all just ate which was a sweet or salty surprise for everyone. As you get ready the beer pong, Max comes up to you & casually strokes your face.

“She looks like she’s having fun” he says nodding at Jessica.

“Yes, she wanted a stripper but I couldn’t afford one or get us booked up for the dream boys, so when I realised butlers in the buff was a thing I thought that was a fun idea” you say as you offer Max a slice of the left over cake.

“Well I’m glad you did, considering some partys I’ve gone to, everyone here is actually very respectful of me, but you all have dirty minds” he laughs before biting into the cake & his eyes light up. “Salty, it’s the salted caramel” you smirk & your eyes meet for a few seconds to long lingering as he sees your own chocolate eyes gaze into his.

“Im guessing this isn’t your main job?” You say “not that there’s anything wrong with it if it is” not wanting to insult his job.

“Oooh no I do this at the weekends. I love to do the themed parties, I’m guessing you realised that the hair is a wig?”

“Obviously”

“Well some places want a bit more of a show or more of a tease but a hen party & what you told me you wanted, it’s a nice chilled way to spend a Saturday afternoon, better than the boring usual 9 til 6, this pays well too”

“I know it does I’m the one who’s paying for you” you laugh.

“Really?” He smirks licking the crumbs from his long fat finger. “Well you must have a very important job that pays well, if you’re affording this as an extra bit of spice.” You don’t want to tell this man what you do for a living, he’d probably laugh for a week when he found out a senior board member of a prestigious advertising company had hired him. It’s not very good for PR.

“Is the wig doing it for you?” You’re shocked & aroused at his blunt question that’s come out of the blue. Your eyes however are now drawn to how he’s sucking the frosting off his large flat thumb. He’s teasing you trying to get you to open up a bit more. You’re also certain that he is seducing & that this isn’t an act that he puts on. There’s a genuine look in his eyes of desire for you.

“I…I…” you start to lean towards him & his hand trails down your neck, the thumb that had the frosting on is sticky as it does this. Lips that you shouldn’t kiss are just screaming out for an embrace. But this moment of silence is broken by a cheer in the room as someone downs their drink in 15 seconds. You both snap back into reality. The temptations of kissing has passed.

The rest of the party is fun & it gets to a quiz about a hens which Max hosts, his last job before you send him on his way & give him a rather large tip, especially as Hayley kissed one of his bum cheeks 10mins ago & Max had to remind her about boundaries. He still liked it but you wish that was you doing that not her.

“Question 8… which hen is not bringing a partner as a plus one to the wedding?” In unison everyone points at you & you almost choke on my Prosecco.

“Have I really been that single for that long?”

“Damn girl you need some dick”

“Yea maybe we can find a plus one for you when we go out tonight”

“You need a good seeing too”

everyone throws in their line of smutt, & you see Max laughing. But his eyes also look sadly at you. All the other girls are loved up, you’re the only single one here.

“Im sure that if the beautiful maid of honour wanted a man on her arm, she could find her lord to her own lady ship” Max declares & you laugh loudly, but also see in his eyes that he’s not kidding.

“She’s married to her job, she loves being in charge of…”

“Shhhh” you say & then hiccup the Prosecco finally hitting your system. You’re not as tipsy as the other girls but it is taking effect. “I mean if i met him, the one that you all keep going on about, you will all know don’t worry” you smile & down your drink desperate to move on to someone’s else. Your eyes have not left Max’s eyes. His chest & his bulge & bum might be what the other ladies are looking at but you are just looking at his pools of delight watching them dance & admiring the small smile on his face.

“Well maybe you should use my life motto for your current relationship situation…” Max states as he moves to the next question. He does this really tacky pose & point & says”…life is good but it can be better” his wig flapping about & everyone & you laugh.

“That such a bad tag line, that it’s good” you cry out & he laughs too, before moving onto his next card. Working in advertising you know what works & what doesn’t.

The girls are now all tidying up & re applying their make up. It’s been a fab hen party so far. Max left the party about 15mins ago & youve gone to go & re do your hair & get the treats ready for a night of karaoke & clubbing, which you left in your room. You step into your room, the smallest in the air bnb, & go to the bathroom to grab your hair brush & then are shocked as you open the door. Max is full frontal naked in the walk in shower & you are wondering how an apron that small kept him covered. You scream & then you hear Max scream, & you quickly shut the door. You’re panting heavily. You’re so aroused & your body is feral & crying out for a man’s touch. As your heart rate calms down, could have been seconds or hours later, out Max walks in a towel, just about covering everything.

“Sorry I should have said, I always shower before I leave, don’t want my actual clothes to be covered in baby oil & for them to be sticky. I just assumed…” Max is trying to talk to you but it’s more at you. You are looking at the droplets of water still on his skin. The fact that his hair is bouncy but not the curtains of the wig. The v line along with the happy trail going to what you want most right now. His penis in any of your holes”… are your listening? I said I was sorry, are you in shock?” You snap out of it as he says this.

“It’s my fault Max , I should have knocked & not just assumed, I’m sorry I didn’t check,I’m…” he steps towards you & his hand trails your cheek again like it did earlier, then down your neck & then his thumb goes to your lips.

“Shhh baby, no one’s come rushing to find you, is that the loudest you can scream?” He raises an eyebrow & you do the same back & you both smirk.”I’m guessing that’s a no?”

“Would you like to find out?” You whisper. Your lips part as you slightly lick them & his thumb. The next feeling is Max lips on yours. A sloppy wet kiss, as he holds you firmly & close to him. You don’t resist. Your hands explore his actual hair & you suddenly feel the towel drop onto your feet. His damp glistening naked body pressed against you.

“I’ve never done this with a client before”

“Technically I’m not…”

“Yes you are, you paid” he has a valid point. you go to step back but he pulls you in taking you mouth again, much more tender this time less of a hurry now you know how the other feels. “But there’s something about you, other than the bride you’re the only person I’ve truly thought about all night” he takes your hand which run over his chest. Touching all those abs that you’ve resisted all night. Your hand goes down the v shape, he wants you to touch. You hands stop just above the base.

“Max, if that is even your name,I can’t, you can’t, we shouldn’t, it’s exploitation”

“No it’s not baby, making you feel wanted, i do for free. You’ve already paid me for everyone else’s enjoyment tonight, don’t you think you deserve some fun too?” Max hands take yours & they grip his length & you look down watch his hand & yours stroke his impressive length, semi erect, readying for desire. “Oooh that feels good” Max’s body judders as he closes his eyes for a few minutes. Your dainty hands softly gliding up & down his shaft. Max is fully erect & then he remembers this is meant to be for your pleasure & enjoyment not his. He snaps out of it letting go of his penis & kisses you passionately. He can probably taste the Prosecco from earlier he’s that thorough.

“Do you consent?” He ask when you finally break. You nod eyes wide waiting to be commanded. He grips you chin harshly. “Words baby”.

“Yes Max, I consent” your eyes lock onto his, the charmer of the afternoon is now the seducer about to give you the ultimate pleasure. But what Max does next you’re not expecting but aren’t entirely surprised.

In a flash you’ve been turned around. You’re bent over the bed, & he kicks at your feet to spread your legs.Your body responding instantly. You hear a tearing noise.

“I hope you brought another pair of tights” max says as the noise continues. Luckily you have, you almost didn’t pack them yesterday night. He smacks your arse before he moves the gusset to the side of your knickers. Those large fingers trail against your sex. Your knickers from what had happened already are damp & it makes him chuckle. “Oooh have you been thinking of me all afternoon, have I kept you all pent up, since my earlier flirt?” You go to lift your head to say maybe but instead you moan & gasp. He’s breached your entrance in one thrust & it knocks all the wind out of you, surprising you, but you are ultimately happy & desperately needing to be satisfied. He stretches you & it feels exquisite.

“Fuck… Max”you moan before the next thrust which he somehow gets even deeper inside you. Your body jolts forward pushing you further across the bed before Maxs hands bring you back to his preferred position for you.

“Oooh baby, this cunts to die for. Oooh fucking hell.” you feel him thrust again. He’s hitting the sweet spot already as you grip onto the bedding. “6 month you said is that right?” He spanks your arse before he lifts your dress more. His pace already quick. You mumble a yes reply, as body craves air at this rigourous pounding you are already receiving . “Why would anyone dump you, this cunt is so tight, so good, now mine” he growls. His teeth grinding. If you could muster the strength to turn around & see his face you would see enraged passion in his face, so concentrated. He says this is for you but is it actually for him. He’s fast & the more you whimper moan & push back onto his cock the faster he goes.

“I want you…” max is panting. The slapping noise against your arse deafening as he ramps it up even more “… when your in the club tonight, checking out those guys, those vultures, to remember…” you let out a really deep moan as both your hands now cling onto the bed, as he slaps your arse again. “… that I fucked your cunt raw, that it’s me who you want to go home to tonight, not some pussy in a bar after an easy blow job” he snarls & pants as he says this. It’s turning you on so much, clamping around his penis ready to drench him & the bed to make him cum. You have no idea if he’s using protection or not.

“Fuck, fuck, fuckkkkk” you whine is drawn out with each hard thrust you’re saying this into the mattress, Max Lord is rampant & is giving you a feeling you’ve not had from sex in years. Lust is returning to your life.

“Oh god I…I…” Max swiftly withdraws his cock from you. “Face me!” It’s a command & you flip over. Your mound still on display as he kneels on the bed, pumping his penis,it’s next to your face. Those large hands looking normal size compared to his cock. “You consented…” before you can protest, he ejaculates. Hot splurges of cum drip onto your face, giving you a facial, your own hand on your clit trying to finish yourself off, but no matter how hard you try as your swallow his seed that’s gone in more places than just your mouth, you can’t. So much for your own pleasure you think. You are now wondering how many other singles girls this butler in the buff has fucked at the end of his entertainment. “Oooh fuckkkk” he moans as his eyes open & he sees your face glistening back from him covered in his essence. A smirk falls across his face as he sees the mess on yours as he slowly stops pumping. “Ooh you were a good maid of honour werent you.” You go to protest still a little in shock at having sex with a man you met 4hours ago & also disappointed that he didn’t finish you off.

“What… what was that all about?” But you don’t get to fully ask your question as he places his lips on yours, his thumb going over your cheek, wiping away some cum before he places that in your lips & you instinctively suck it. You know what men like this want.

“Pleasure” he says & winks before he leaves your side & rummages in his bag to clean his penis with a cloth that he dampens in the sink first, before he puts on his every day clothes as you clean yourself. You both do this in silence. Hardly making any eye contact. You’re hoping the girls had the music loud enough that they didn’t hear you. You’re also hoping Max is clean if any stds, you know you are. But if he’s doing this every weekend with one pretty girl per party who knows if he’s riddled, at least he pulled out you think, but that did deny you of your pleasure.

Max, who is now dressed & now you look a bit more normal, goes to leave before he stands in front of you, & takes your lips one last time.

“Remember girl, life is good but it can be better, I promise you will find your ultimate pleasure”

“Max if that is even your name I…” he shhh you before he gives you a passionate kiss. It feels more weird now he’s actually dressed as himself ready to leave than when he was in a butler in the buff or after he had given you a cum facial. & yet some how it also felt better. As you part the succulent kiss Max winks at you.

“Any wish you desire I can make come true” he picks up his bag, strokes your face & leaves the air bnb.

This is the exact moment Lucy comes to find you as you mumble the words after he’s gone completely “I wish you’d made me cum”

“Omg you didnt” Lucy exhales & you jump in shock.

“Well” you blush “I did, but it was more about him than me”

“Typical man” Lucy scoffs & makes sure you are okay before you head out for the most fun night a hen party could ever had.

*

There you sit in a reception of a new prospective client. A fast growing supplement company all about well-being & mental health as well. You had taken Monday & Tuesday off work to get over the hen shenanigans, the recovery was needed & you had spent the entire Saturday night at the bar flirting with men wishing they had been Max. When you got back to work on Wednesday you were told to go & see this company hands on & talk to their director, to seal the deal. Board members do this from time to time. You sit there in your dark blue dress & snazzy floral jacket before being escorted into the lift & taken to the 3rd floor to meet the owner. It’s all very cold & white & steal & clean this building. It’s not welcoming you know this may have to change with your pr input & advertising.

“Boss your 10am is here” his personal receptionist says as she knocks on the door & opens it & in you step & you do your little powerful walk forward & look up. You hand grips the glass you are holding.

“YOU!?” You exclaim. The side profile looking out of the window was all you needed to know who it was.

“Miss welcome I…” he catches you out the corner of his eye & he looks shocked too “what are you doing here?”

“No what are you doing here?” His receptionist looks really confused. You shake your head, is this a dream. You place your glass on the table along with your bag, your normal spiel for a welcome completely has left your mind.

“If you wouldn’t mind” he nods at his receptionist & ushers her out as he walks towards you. “His im Maxwell Lord, Director of CliMax, our motto is your life is good…”

“But it can be better” you say in unison as your hands professionally shake & turn your senses up, sending shivers down your spine. An awkward silence fill the air as you both make eye contact, those eyes are just as beautiful & seducing. They make your heart beat race. He then smile & you both giggle.

“Is your name really Max Lord?” These are the first words out of your mouth.

“Yes it is & is so corney it’s perfect for an entertainer name too, people just believe it’s made up.” He smirks before he goes to his door to lock it & then asks you to sit down on his leather sofa. Unlike the rest of the building his office is vibrant & it’s full of 80s pop culture references. You smile at the Rio Duran Duran art work, noticing it must be an original as you take your seat. Max sits on the other end of the sofa.

“I’m sorry” you both then say in unison after a few more minutes of awakened silence before then both doing an awkward chuckle only to then be like no you go first to each other. You eventually then just blurt out.

“I’m sorry I walked in on you, I’m sorry I had sex with you & im sorry I just let you leave” you blurt out as you lower your head. “If you don’t want to work with us now I completely understand, if you do I can make sure someone else is your main contact other than…”

“I requested you as my contact 3 weeks ago, long before I met you on Saturday or looked at who booked me for the party” Max states & you look up. His eyes are genuine he’s not lying about this. “Part of the reason I want to work with the company & to be your client is because I saw the amazing work you personally did for that drinks company, I had a friend who worked with them who said how attentive you were. It took me a good month to track down where you were to organise an appointment & when I spoke to the person last week about this meeting I asked for you & no one else, I’d met other people but I want to work with you.” Your advertising & Pr skill are exceptional & you feel very flattered. But you already know how much of a charmer this man is, you fell for it on Saturday afternoon. But now he’s in a smart suit & tie he’s even more irresistible.

“Thank you mr Lord, but what about…”

“My fault entirely…” he interrupts holding his hands up apologetically. His eyes you can tell are telling the truth. “I’d flirted, I shouldn’t have kissed you, but damn you were so fucking good, best pussy I’ve had in years” you smirk a little, you ex never gave you that compliment.

“So much for it being about my pleasure though…” you say back mockingly, & his face turns red & stern from embarrassment.

“Did you not cum?”

“No Max, I didn’t, as you covered my face in your sperm I was busy trying to get off but…”

“So those noises weren’t you cumming? Oh my god! I am so sorry, you were being loud & clamping, I thought you were done” Max eyes dart around the room unsure what he should really say. “Wait does this mean other women have faked it with me?”

“I can’t speak for other ladies max, I’m sure all your hens at…”

“You’re the first girl I’ve had sex with at one of those parties ever. I’m actually thinking of resigning as I went too far” Max again is telling the truth & you can see the sorrow in his face that he didn’t make you cum & he took advantage of your situation of sexual frustration.

“Unless you business really takes off max, you shouldn’t resign, its all the girls have talked about all weekend & the last 3 days on the group chat, you were phenomenal” he Scoots towards you on the sofa.

“They don’t know how phenomenal though.” That thumb your been thinking off, graces your lips as they part & you make eye contact with him. “Is this going to be awkward because I want to be your clients, & I want you personally?” He asks. You don’t answer & kiss Max deeply after the trail across your lips. A more fuller passionate kiss than you experienced at the weekend. The way his hand glides through your hair, down your neck & gently squeezes your shoulder.

“Well technically this time your paying me”

“Id say we’re even” you both are panting before your kiss continues for a few minutes. Your hands trail across his broad shoulders, his silk jacket suddenly being tossed across the room.

“Come on, I promised you pleasure, I owe you at least one orgasm” Max says as he scoops you into his lap for some more intimate kissing. The way his lips feel against yours, it makes your body tremble as his hand goes underneath your dress.

“Max this isn’t very professional what if…” your head being near his ear is helpful as you speak quietly as you gasp for air.

“I’m the boss, I can fire people if they gossip, you on the other hand, you ignite my fire” he is kissing you neck in a frenzy as he slowly undoes every button on your blue dress, exposing your black silk underwear. “My fire is more than ignited now” his hands trace across your lingerie rubbing the material straight across your clit. You bite your bottom lip & try not to moan but on his return swipe you can’t control it.

“Max, make me yours” you shake your jacket & dress off, before your hands start on his shirt.

“From the second we flirted at that party, I’ve wanted you” Max then lowers you onto the sofa, his fingers in a waistband of your knickers as you squirm. “Do you want me?” He says. It’s his way of asking for consent. His eyes tell you he’s not messing around.

“Fuck max, I do” your knees rise as your hands join his to remove your knickers & he looks at the arousal inside them.

“Naughty girl, wanting to fuck a prospective client, do you do this with all of them?” Max asks & you look shocked.

“Of course no! I’m…” you then see the look on Max’s face, this is the exact situation you were in on Saturday afternoon when you accused him.

“Didn’t think so” Max says before he licks his middle & index finger before he slowly inserts his long delicious digits inside you making you moan. The thumb you have loved tracing across your lips, is now stimulating your clit as you rive, your hips have a mind of their own responding to his fingers. “You take me so well baby, I told you your cunt was perfect.” Max then starts moving his fingers curling them inside you, making sure your clit is getting enough friction.He’s not looking at your pussy anymore. He’s in love with the facial expressions & the noises of desire coming from your mouth. Every ooooh or pant is making his trousers tighter.

“M…mmmm…Max” you just about muster as your eyes lock with his as he licks his lips.

“Did you wish for pleasure?” max asks.

“Yes I wanted to… to… cum”

“With me?” he smirks before adding a third finger, your back arching up off the sofa as he thrusts the fingers in & out of you. It’s squelching, he can tell how close you are.

“Yes…” you say before you can feel all of your senses lose control. “On your cock”you then moan as the fingers are withdrawn & Max’s belt & trousers are around his ankles. He then flops his large meaty cock out & produces a condom which he tears open with his teeth.

“No facials today my sweet, that was a special treat” your legs spread, your arousal dripping from your entrance, desperate to be filled by Max. He drags his protected penis through your slick before entering you slower than he did on Saturday. He watches as your body tenses & then slowly relax & he looks at how well you take him. He licks his thumb which still smells of your essence & then proceeds to continue attending you your clit. As his hips start moving slower than they did in that moment of passion.

“Ooh fuck this feel better than it did on Saturday. Your cunt is the best. Oooh god.” Max growls his eyes closing for a few moments as your hips meet his in rhythm. You take your bra off & one of your hands starts to play with your breasts while the other strokes Max neck. When he opens his eyes & sees them exposed before him he starts to move faster. A devilish smile creeps across his face.

“I’m guessing you like my breasts” you pant as you prop yourself up a little. Your feet that are wrapped around his arse moving his underwear down his thighs.

“Baby, my wish was to see your naked body enjoying itself, you’ve made it come true” the words are straitened from his lips. He lies flat on top of you, your body sinking into the sofa, his hands all up in your hair. You can feel his hairs all standing on end. But you can feel more the pounding of his penis inside your. Rigorous & forceful. So big, bigger than you’ve had before. Each gasp & moan is a compliment. You didn’t know this would be what got you off but you never want it to end.

“I have a new wish…” you moan but before you can complete it Max lips meet yours. He nips on your bottom lip as he kisses you, you allow his tongue to take over. Your body’s now in complete synchronicity as you roll together & he switches you around so you’re on top.

“Don’t wish it if you don’t want it…” he jokes as he lifts your up slightly, now your sweat is dripping on him. He smacks your arse as you grip at his chest, it’s slicker than when he had all that baby oil on him. He’s fucking you hard & fast. Almost at at electric pace, watching your body succumb to desire & passion.

“I wish to only ever have you fuck me” you blurt out & then you moan deeply. One hand tossing his hair. The other furiously gaining friction on your clit. His hands on your hips helping you roll faster.

“Tell me baby. Tell me. Tell me you want me”

“Fuck Max, I only want you. Fuck fuck fuck” you scream & can’t hold back anymore. You explode, the orgasm ripping through you, turning your world upside down. Cumming hard & Max can feel it. The way your body shudders as he looks at you. The way you clamp down hard & your eyes roll into the back of your head as passion takes over. It’s enough to make him cum, filling the condom a few seconds later.

“Oooooh Fuck girl god!”

After your come downs, Max sits up & holds you for a few minutes, gently moving the sweaty streaks of your hair off of your face. Your own hand still trailing up & down his glistening chest.

“This isn’t going to make this awkward is it Max” you ask & look up at him as he then kisses your forehead.

“Why would it be awkward?”

“I’m going to be working very closely with you, I need to know everything you want, I need to assist you & make sure you make the right decision”

“I’d say you’re now even more over qualified” he jokes. “You know me better than anyone, I know you’re not going to screw me over” you pull away from him slightly.

“Was that a bad sex joke?” You raise an eyebrow.

“Surely you know now, that I’m the king of bad puns.”

“Or the lord”

“Ha” he chuckles. “See we’re meant to be with each other, you’re just as cheesy as me” he gives you a playful slap & you pout. His cock twitches at that pout. “Don’t make me want to fuck you again.”

“Why? Did you not enjoy it?” You ask.

“girl I now know what a real orgasm for a woman is, & I want to experience as many of them as I can with you” he is hand goes to his cock leisurely stroking it again. Your eyes light up as he sighs a little.

“Well I did wish to only have sex with you”

“Then I intend to make that come true” he says as he then sees your hand join his to pump his shaft. “You need to be careful with your wishes though baby, don’t want your mouth to wish them all away.”

“No my mouth has many more uses than that” you wink & smirk & Max’s eyes go wide with desire. His hand helping your down as he strokes your hair as you being your oral assault on his penis. His own gasps of delight spluttering from his own mouth as he watching you bob around his fat cock.

*

The wedding was beautiful & your maid of honour speech went down a treat. You stand by the bar & you hear some of the fellow hens gossip as you get your Prosecco.

“She’s got an evening guest?”

“I thought she was single”

“Was it a guy at a bar”

“Is she just getting a friends to come”

“She looks more relaxed, she’s definitely getting some dick”

That’s what you’ve heard for the last hour. Even Jessica was shocked. None of them have met this mystery man or so they believe.

“So…” Lucy finally has the balls to ask you directly. “When is he arriving?”

“He had to work but I know he’s on his way”

“Ha sure, you’ve just done this to tease us, come on who is he, because he’s clearly had an effect on you.”

“You know what Lucy he has… “a few of the hens have now moved towards this conversation. “…I mean…” you can see him walking in making his way towards you a smug look on his face & your own smile beam back & the other girls haven’t noticed. “…life is good…”

“But it can be better” Max finishes & the ladies all turn around jaws hitting the floor. “Hens how are you? I’m Max” stunned silence fills this section of the reception. Jessica from across the room can even sense stuffs going on. Max walks through the ladies & wraps his arm around you, before his thumb once again glides across your lips. “I make wishes come true” he hold your face before kissing you deeply in front of everyone. They all looked shocked but happy & also a little jealous.

“& this time neither of us are a client either” you say before the girls all burst with excitement & say how happy they are for you both. You finally got your one, you knew it was real & you wish for many more treasured memories & passionate moments to come in your lives together.

[nancydrewwouldnever]

Chris' career will be fine, he is a white man. Opportunies for them are limitless (good or bad), unlike for women and poc. Chris not getting any nominations for Knives out makes me feel he never will (I can be wrong of course). The movie and his character had so much good buzz, lot of prestigious names involved and only Ana and Daniel got a nomination. Even him going to TV with a prestigious streamer as Apple and an acclaimed show, again no nominations from his peers. A good comparison to me would be his ex Jessica Biel. She managed to earn an Emmy and Golden Globe nomination for her role in The Sinner , she carried the whole show on her name alone. She has no big franchise, but she also has similar problem as him in being seen as a serious actor and not just another bimbo. It makes me wonder if he tried tv because he saw it did good to her career rep.

I believe his move to Apple for Defending Jacob was just a sign of the times when it came to good projects; they were all going to streamers. It was also telling that his team very much campaigned for him to get a nom for that series, but it was just too packed of a year for limited series and he did not make the cut. (That was actually the year that his friend Mark Ruffalo won that category for I Know This Much Is True.)

Also... can we not term other women as bimbos, please?

[shallowseeker]

Jack time travel fic idea

Mirroring Dean's speech to Mary in 12x01

DEAN (breathing heavily) Mom. Listen to me. Your name – your name is Mary Sandra Campbell, okay? You were born December 5, 1954, to Samuel and Deanna Campbell. Your father, he bounced around a lot for, uh, work, and you bounced right along with him, and you ended up in Lawrence, Kansas. MARY: How do you know all that? DEAN: Dad told me. March 23, 1972, you walked out of a movie theater – Slaughterhouse-Five. You loved it, and you bumped into a big Marine and you knocked him flat on his ass. You were embarrassed, and he laughed it off, said you could make it up to him with a cup of coffee. So, you went to, uh, Mulroney's and you talked and he was cute and he knew the words to every Zeppelin song, so when he asked you for your number, you gave it to him, even though you knew your dad would be pissed. That was the night that – that you met – MARY: John Winchester. DEAN: August 19, 1975, you were married... in Reno. Your idea. A few years later, I came along, then Sammy.

///

Jack to Dean:

I know you don't trust me, but listen. You were born on January 24, 1979 to John and Mary Winchester. You say you're an Aquarius who likes long walks on the beach, but the truth is you really hate sand.

Your dad raised you in The Life, on the road with Sam. When you were 16, you got arrested for stealing and spent time in a boys' home. You loved it there.

You've had a gun in your hands for as long as you can remember, but what you really wanted to be was a fireman, a mechanic, maybe a rock star. Your favorite song is a tie between "Ramble On" and "Traveling Riverside Blues," and you always say that all music made after 1979 sucks. You've seen the "Untouchables" over fifty times and probably "The Lost Boys" even more than that.

You know 101 ways to make mac and cheese, and you don't know it yet, but you make the best Mexican Rotel casserole.

///

Jack to Cas:

I'm Jack Kline. I'm your...your...well. It doesn't matter who I am. Just know that I...I care about you. A lot.

Your name's Castiel. You're old. At least 4.543 billion years old, but you always say being an angel is like being old and young at the same time.

You’ve been a soldier as long as you can remember. Whenever you disagreed with your mission, Heaven tortured you. Gruesomely. You told me once that it felt like how the fish looked when it got blendered in Deuce Bigalow, Male Gigolo.

You know you caused the eruption of Mount Vesuvius and defeated the Romans at The Battle of Cannae. Sometimes, you were summoned to slaughter entire armies. Other times, it was to carry out genocide against all the children of the land.

You were there during the Great Flood, and when Gabriel led the slaughter of the Nephilim and their families. You told me once that you're terrified you've had human allies before. You're scared that you'll forget us, and your life will go back to how it was before, an endless cycle of war and death.

You raised Dean Winchester to Earth on September 18, 2008. That's why you decided to rebel again, maybe even for the last time.

///

Jack to Sam:

Your name's Sam Winchester. You were born cursed. May 2, 1983. Six months later, on November 2, Azazel infected you.

You felt that burden your whole life.

Your dad trained you to be a soldier, but your brother Dean was the one to raise and protect you. You spent most of your life hopping from one hotel to the next. It was crusty and horrible and you never felt like you belonged anywhere.

But you studied hard and got a scholarship to become a lawyer at the Harvard. There, you fell in love with the most beautiful girl, Jessica Moore...but then, Azazel came after her, too.

You'd never admit it to Dean, but after that, "My Heart Will Go On" by Celene Dion got you through some of the worst moments of your life.

You--you were the first one who told me that I could be good.

///

To Bobby:

"You dressed me like you! I like how you-you dresses better than the you that I knew. Not that I knew you. You were dead before I was born."

///

Bobby's face: 🤨

How Bobby dresses Jack:

[marinerainbow]

I made headcanons for Roger and Jessica, and I plan on posting for other characters (especially Delores), so have some headcannons for

~The Toon Patrol~

~Smartass~

Unlike the others, Smartass actually studied the law. He had planned to become a lawyer, but when his criminal record caught up to him, he lost his license and officially started his gang.

One of his crimes was identity fraud. It's why he has so many names like Smarty, Smartguy, Wiseguy, etc (I know in actuality it was Disney trying to censor his name, but still).

He also used to be married but is now divorced. His spouse left him when they found out about his double life. Smartass will still offer relationship advice to those he's closest to but other than that he keeps that part of his life private. The only one in the group that knows his former relationship best is Stupid.

He loves the finer things in life. Just look at all that jewelry! He takes a lot of pride in his appearance and takes care of himself the most out of the other weasels (though why he still chooses not to wear pants or proper shoes, I have no idea). You'll get a smile out of him and a cheeky "I know~" if you compliment his appearance, but he won't really take it to heart unless you two are close.

In my last OC post, I stated I headcanon all toons have an artistic ability of some kind. Smartass' is writing. Slice of life stuff. If he wasn't a gangster, he'd probably make a pretty penny off of his writing.

~Greasy~

Similar to Smartass, Greasy also likes the finer things in life. But he doesn't put as much effort into his appearance (minimal/no jewelry, cheap cologne, just generally greasy, etc). It's like he's trying to put up the front of a well off man rather than actually be one.

He can appreciate art of all kinds, especially if it's centered around feminine beauty or intimacy. Writing, paintings, sculptures, whatever. Of course he's got the sleazy magazines as well. (@slashingdisneypasta actually inspired me for this headcanon with her own for Greasy).

He's Smartass' right hand man for a reason, and not just because they're friends. If he needs to, he'll focus solely on the job, he'll get things done, and he knows how to intimidate people. Not to mention his ability to come up with plans on the fly, like when he dropped the bricks on Roger. Tldr, he's more than just the silly pervert of the group.

He absolutely tries to get advice for women from Smartass since he had a relationship before. It doesn't work.

His artistic ability is playing the guitar, and I think he'd have a fairly decent singing voice. If he didn't snoop on women backstage, I can imagine him getting gigs at clubs like Jessica.

~Wheezy~

He's the gun expert of the group. He taught Stupid and Psycho how to properly use firearms and take care of them. Smartass and Greasy had more knowledge then those two, but they still learned a thing or two from Wheezy.

Despite his lean frame, he's the second physically strongest member, next to Stupid.

I don't know why, but I can see him liking nature documentaries. Maybe he finds them relaxing. Just imagine him puffing away at his cigarettes while listening to Liam Neeson narrate about the life of seahorses or something while on his downtime.

The reason why his whole appearance/demeanor is completely different compared to the others is that he was made for war propaganda cartoons. He has fabricated memories of being in the war, even though he was just made for cartoons. He mostly keeps them to himself, but sometimes he needs to talk to someone about them and get it all off his chest.

His artistic ability is playing the violin. I know that the violin/guitar case he carries in the movies was used as a way to hide the gun, but I still like the idea of him playing the violin. I can also see him get into wood carving.

~Psycho~

Psycho doesn't sleep often, but when he does his eyes remain open and he curls up. It looks just as freaky as it sounds. Only when he is completely relaxed is when he'll actually close his eyes while sleeping and let himself sprawl out.

You can tell he's excited at the prospect of killing Roger ("Time to kill the rabbit!~"), but he never makes a move towards Roger until it was time. As such, I think that Psycho can very easily be patient, as long as he knows he'll get what he wants in the end. One could argue that it was simply because the TP didn't get enough screentime, but I like this idea better.

Psycho needs something to do with his hands. It's part of the reason why he has his razor in his hands half the time and hugging himself the rest of the time. Honestly just give him a rubrics cube or something and he'll be happy and distracted for a while. He's also learned how to do plenty of tricks with his razor. It's impressive but scary too.

Psycho has plenty of animalistic habits. It's not like he's got the brain of a wild animal, he just communicates a bit differently. For example, he takes smiling with teeth as a threat and will threaten people that way, he can imitate plenty of sounds perfectly, etc.

Mirrors make him uncomfortable. In the bathroom, he'll hang a towel on the mirror while he does his morning routine, and he'll avoid the mirror section in home decor stores at all costs.

His artistic talent is drawing/painting. Sometimes he just draws whatever comes to mind, but he'll also draw specific people and places he wants to commit to memory. Anyone who receives a portrait of themselves from Psycho has pretty much gained the ultimate sign that they are important to him. I can also see him be able to play the accordian.

I'm not entirely sure about this one, but I still like it so I guess I'll let you guys decide what you think. The yellow swirls in his eyes will change color based on his emotions. Yellow is happy/neutral, red is anger, green is sick/disgust, and blue would be sadness (and pink for love)

~Stupid~

I did some research after seeing it on another blog, and it turns out propeller hats were seen as science fiction novelty items back then. So I think Stupid likes sci-fi stuff. He'd definitely be a fan of Star Trek.

Another thing he likes is sports. His bat isn't just his weapon, he genuinely likes baseball. He mostly just collects cards, but if he was ever gifted a ticket to a live baseball game, he would love that person forever.

And of course, cooking. He can't cook very well on his own, but he absolutely loves sharing recipes and talking about his favorite food. If he got a cooking buddy, the TP's kitchen will be used nearly 24/7.

Stupid is dyslexic. He legitimately can't read, or at least not very well. He likes it when other people read to him. Psycho is the one who reads to him the most, but Smartass will do it as well when he has time.

Out of all the Toon Patrol, he's pretty good with emotional support. He may not be the best with life advice, but he'll just be there to be an open ear and offer hugs (his hugs are the best, trust me). And sometimes, that's all you need.

His artistic talent is playing the trombone. He's also learning how to use the kazoo.

~The whole group~

In the movie, it's implied that Smartass has a bigger gang than just the four other weasels ("We got informants all over the city."). So my headcannon is that Smartass is the head of the weasel gang in Toontown, and the rest of the Toon Patrol are his best men that he chose to join in on Judge Dooms plot. There are other gang's in Toontown, like the wolf gang or the coyote gang (Wile. E was a former member before he got hired by Warner Bros), but the weasel gang is most notorious, especially after Judge Doom made them a police force.

I've seen at least two people headcanon that Smartass and Psycho are brothers, and that's cool to see! But personally, I headcanon that it's Stupid and Smartass that are related. Or at the very least were drawn to be a duo in their cartoons. They both have the same- if not similar- fur colors, and I don't think Smartass ever really physically hit Stupid. He threw the plunger at him to shut his mouth, but he didn't wack him on the head like he did Greasy and Psycho.

I actually don't think Psycho and Smartass get along. Psycho was pointing and laughing at his boss while he was dipped, so at the very least Psycho doesn't care too much about Smartass. One could easily argue that he was too caught up in his laughter to stop, but that doesn't explain why he put in the effort to point at his boss, making it clear he found his death amusing. Greasy was also laughing yes, but he didn't have the view Psycho did so maybe he thought his boss flew over the dip.

Smartass and Greasy have been friends the longest. Psycho and Stupid are best friends. Wheezy is easygoing, so everyone gets along with him.

Greasy and Psycho both go out on their own sometimes to do their own thing. Smartass knows what they're up to, and he knows they'll be back eventually, so his only rule is that they clean up after themselves and tell him where they are going so he knows where to look for them if they are gone for too long. Stupid and Wheezy are allowed to go on their own too, but they mostly just stay home (though Wheezy does go out on his own more than Stupid).

Smartass and Stupid are comedy toons, Greasy is a risqué toon, Wheezy is a generic toon, and Psycho is a horror toon. They all were villains in their respective cartoons.

They are toons, so technically they are ageless. Or at least don't age like humans. But if I were to give them ages, Wheezy would be 47 (born/made right at the turn of the century), Greasy 38, Smartass 35, Psycho 28, and Stupid 25. And from tallest to shortest is Stupid, Wheezy, Greasy, Psycho, and Smartass.

I hope you guys like these. Any questions you guts have, I'll be more than happy to answer ^^

[biitchcakes]

— character info sheet.

(repost, don’t reblog)

name: Jessica Miriam Drew

name meaning: Jessica ( Hebrew: "to see" ; "God beholds" ; wealthy / rich ) Miriam ( Hebrew: "wished-for-child" )

alias/es: Jess, Spider-Woman, formerly Archane

ethnicity: White British

one picture you like best of your character:

three h/cs you never told anyone:

The fragrances she uses are most often are vanilla scented. And, if not that, she tends to gravitate more towards sweet &/ or fruity scents or spice scents, such as: coconut, black cherry, berries, cinnamon, coffee, pumpkin. . . Bath & Bodyworks had two seasonal fragrances I always pictured her loving ( 1. Pastel Skies — "soft cloud berries, pink spun sugar, & coconut musk" and then 2. Sweet Whiskey — "golden amber, vanilla-infused whiskey, & sweet red berries" ). That said, what she views as overly sweet, such as birthday cake or frosting, she tends to avoid.

I actually don't think I've brought up her favourite colour ! Amazing. Obviously, she loves red, it's her whole ✨thing✨, but if you actually asked her to pick out ONE favourite ? It's #facbdf ! It's the colour she painted the walls in her and Lindsay's first PI office, and she's incorporated into every office she's had since. Makes her nostalgic, a little at peace for a few seconds.

The venom that courses through Jessica's veins is what turns her irises the green colour they are. Naturally blue, her eyes fade back to their genetic shade whenever powers are weak ⸺ like when she's brought back to life and her abilities fluctuate. Or, to a lesser extent, whenever she needs some time to recover from a fight, they fade juuust a little while she heals. It varies if it's noticeable or not.

three things your character likes doing in their free time: 

Riding around Manhattan and Queens on her motorcycle, somehow there's always something new to see ⸺ as well as the comforting familiar.

Puzzles ! Solitaire ! Sudoku ! Brain teasers ! Crossword ! Simple problem-solving games and things of the like. Basically anything you can find in an adult activity book at the gas station.

Rewatching some of her favourite movies, such as: Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan, Alien, The Karate Kid, Short Circuit, Total Recall, Heat, Sean Connery era Bonds, or really any 7/8/90's era martial arts, action, sci-fi or horror movie. She's got a lot of genres she likes the most and couldn't chose between if you asked her to, but most carry some significant theme to her: such as the main character being a detective or spy, a science experiment gone wrong, the strength of friendship and how much it can mean, standing up for your morals and values, or it's got a mentorship of some kind ⸺ usually a paternal one. It's not something she really realises she does.

Eight people your character likes / loves:

Carol Danvers ( bestie )

Lindsay McCabe ( bestie )

Miguel O'Hara ( boyfriend )

Johnny Storm ( boyfriend )

Clint Barton ( boyfriend // ex; he still means a lot to her even when they're not together ⸺ don't tell him )

Magnus ( father figure // mentor )

Nick Fury ( father figure // mentor // friend )

Logan Howlett ( mentor // friend )

two things your character regrets:

A lot of her anger, and the way that causes her to reaction in some situations and towards others. How she lashes out, and how venomous fists and words are always her first instinct. . . And how this has occasionally hurt those she holds closest.

Retiring her private investigator agency in Madripoor. After some time, her and Lindsay return to San Francisco, where Linds begins taking classes to become a professional stuntwoman, and Jess starts to take up more jobs wherever she can find them ( including all the way to places like Istanbul ! Lindsay went along for that one — ). This leads to her being on the east coast / in New York more often than she'd have ever thought. And, the more she's out there, the more she's encouraged to allow HYDRA restabilise her powers, which she eventually agrees to ⸺ only for it to turn out to by the Skrulls in disguise. So, tl;dr, she feels leaving Madripoor lead to her getting abducted, and allowing the Skrulls to fully return her powers resulted in the Skrull Invasion since Veranke, the queen, chose to impersonate her. After that has been a mixed bag that has a lot of good, but sometimes, she wonders. . .

two phobias your character has:

musophobia: the fear of rats

monatophobia: the fear of dying alone

tagged by: @gwenbiote tagging: all of you, tag me in them ! if you've already seen this and you're tagging people, tag me in yours anyway !! I wanna read them all asfksj