#jfc i really want to delete

[mochiwrites]

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[zevrans-remade]

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[imwritesometimes]

my problem with reading fic is that I'll read a really good one and I'll be blown away by it but they joy of having read a really good fic immediately gives way to comparison and doubt. nothing I've ever written has been this good. nothing I write will ever be this good. I will never be as witty or poetic or articulate or thoughtful or deep or funny or sincere. my shit is just that. shit. it's fodder. it's nothing. and then I contemplate deleting everything I've ever written....

[xolaanii]

i think my recurring chest pain might be my heart breaking slowly but surely

[fuckthisshxt]

Why? Why the tears? That's one damn thing thats actually visible to others when it happens and I can't deny it.

Any time I see something about ghosts or (damnit I know there's been at least one or two other subjects but I can't remember atm I'll edit this later if I remember) tears start falling. Like I'm not sobbing or actively crying at all, I personally don't even feel sad or scared but tears will be falling from my eyes like someone turned on a faucet and it feels stupid to admit to but it's like part of me knows that during those times a tiny part of me is like terrified? Even though every time this has happened that I can remember I always felt perfectly fine and knew I was safe and that what I was watchin was just a show but idk this problem has been happening for at least a decade now

[melpomeneese]

one of my coworkers at the university said in an email he hoped admin or the cops would clear out the encampment soon bc they're blocking the main library's delivery route and like. I wish we lived in a world where I could screenshot someone wishing admin would sic fatally armed police on our own fucking students and get him fired but 🙃 he's just saying what our university president has been saying for days! so who cares!

[lowkeyrobin]

Hiii! could you please do a sober!klaus x reader fic where the reader is sick and klaus is freaking out and is just being extra trying to take care of them? Thank you! :D

oo okay I can try! ; thanks for requesting, hope you enjoy! ; also I made this into hcs cause I couldn't write a whole oneshot I'm sorry djndndke I was debating deleting this cause I have no ideas but I felt way too bad I'm sorry ; I wrote this while actually sick w the worst cold ever so... I did something

KLAUS HARGREEVES ; idk how to take care of you?!?!?!

summary ; youre sick and poor sober klaus is struggling to not relapse and keep his cool but also doesn't know what he's doing

warnings ; language, temptation to relapse, talk / descriptions of puking

word count ; 257

masterlist

man he's freaking tf out

he doesn't know how to take care of someone else, he just learned how to finally take care of himself 😭

he never really got sick growing up other than stuff w substances so he doesn't know how to care for you

he made a very swift trip to the store *insert funny running montage with so rich, so pretty playing in the bg* for medicine

^he WOULD listen to that song and it WOULD be on the s4 tracklist if we got an actual 10 episodes

yeah no he's actually frightened of himself

he doesn't wanna relapse on fucking cold medicine

poor dude jfc

he grabbed a couple different medicines cause he doesn't know what you'll need or want

curse not having cell phones...

he runs all the way back and stops to get you a milkshake on the way back 😋🫶

he drank like a fourth if it before he got back

ANYWAYS

he hands you the medicine and you sit there looking at him confused

"what?"

"whyd you get so many?"

"idk wtf you wanted!"

"okay, okay, can you get me some water?"

runs all the way around the house to grab you some water

"can you help??"

he sticks his hands up, seeing you hunched over the toilet

"idk how to help you???!??!?!"

"grab me my toothbrush and toothpaste, and some more water"

"on it pookie bear!"

"not today, klaus"

"sorry"

"ewww why is it so watery??"

"ew wtf I'm gonna puke on your grubby toes for that"

"NO"

[thatdeadaquarius]

hi! quick tip: if you’re on mobile type ‘:readmore:’ then hit enter! i dunno if you’ve been told but. yeah :)

also, your recent piece on apd was incredible!! very nice to see representation!! keep up the excellent work <3 it did get me thinking though: reader with vocal stims, cementing it in the acolytes’ minds that you don’t speak the language of teyvat, and then you’re all just stuck in this loop of “oh man they don’t speak the same language of me” but they DO

if asks are closed or this is outside of your comfort zone then feel free to delete! have a lovely day <3

AHFJLAKLOSUDBABWB U FELT REPRESENTED YAY!!

A cookie for thee, and also extra for telling me how to do Expand thingy on mobile ilysm 🤲🍩🍪✨️ (pspspsps all askers,, u get cookies,,cometothedarksidepspspspspsss)

I was so worried bc it wasnt like super all the aspects of Apd issues, and it was very based on my personal experience w/ similar symptoms + other bits of ppl's experience so i was hoping it still felt somewhat recognizable for ppl w/APD!! Tysm for the feedback :D

NOTE ABOUT VOCAL STIM DEPICTED:

So i think ive experienced verbal stims, so this is a combination of others shared experiences + personal experience, and while everybody experiences things individually/their own way, please let me know if there is something obviously inaccurate/maybe even offensive.

You will definitely not make me mad or otherwise offended, I really want to hear that kind of feedback from others who vocal stim!

Thank you so much for reading! :)

___________________♡_____________________

So lets just say that ur vocal stims r pretty non-verbal or non-sensical ("her sister was a WITCH BRO-" like memes that dont make sense to them)

Or like, u have verbal stims that r actual language but they dont hang around long enough to hear it maybe ??

♤

So like, this ends up happening

Chongyun was exploring near Qingce village for supernatural stuff as usual

And U were just vibin, chillin near Qingce village livin ur best Creator god cottagecore life

And ur like planting a new seedbed, Jueyun Chilis :) (bc jfc however bad it was to collect them in game, its 10x worse in person, ur tired of running around town getting chilis, Qingce isnt exactly flat 💀)

♡

And every seed u put in the dirt ur like "boop!"

And Chongyun comes by, bc u at edge of town, and the villagers mentioned a strange new traveler settling here

He immediately feels a wave of that same feeling he used to feel when the Creator god had their eyes on him, or would assist him in battles

So poor boy almost overheats trying to climb up the hill to ur house

And is like "??...Creator??"

Then kinda stops bc ur just like-

"Boop!" "Boop!" "Boop!" ☺️ LMAO

And then u finish planting seeds, get the watering can,,

And everytime u pour it just-

... "EJACK! Come, water!"

(Ur saying it so fast too, and he's still somewhat farther away, so he cant rlly hear that well too)

...

..

And its just so incomprehensible to Chongyun he's deadass like "A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE??!"

So of course,

He waves, 👋

And ur like omg icy boy!! :D 🧊💙

But u dont say anything yet, and then he starts,, miming?? He points at u? Then like?? Points up? The sky?? Then like, mimes swinging his claymore???

(ARE U THE CREATOR??!!)

U look up, very confused 🧐

He seemes frustrated.

Then he just kinda, bows and leaves?

...

...oh no.

Do Teyvat people speak that crazy language that u saw in game?

Instead of English??

Well.

Shit.

...

.... U havent rlly talked to anyone in Qingce yet since u just got here in Teyvat like a week ago

And found this abandoned house

♧

It just gets worse 😭

Bc slowly, one by one,

Each playable character in Liyue comes to attempt to talk to you

(And since u have a farm, and they keep giving u food/goods? For some reason?? U still dont need to go into town)

☆

At one point, even Zhongli shows up

And thru complex miming and hand motions u think he means dont worry abt him? Like just go back to what u were doing?? Okay??

U guess he's just gonna chill here for now?

...

...Zhongli just kinda,, squints, and puts his hand on his chin in his classic "thinking very hard" face

So ur tending to the garden saying,

" FREDDY! You're supposed to be on lockdown!Vanessa...I'm... a Material Gworl✨️"💀

...Just, on an endless loop LMAO-

...

(Hes trying to see if he recognizes any part of ur language, poor old man 🤔🤔😭)

♤

And it just snowballs even more, and now,

None of you have even tried to say a word to each other. 🤡

(Other than ur vocal stims)

...

Keqing: "Perhaps, it's similar to Fontaine's native language?"

You, in the background: "🎵 dUdE,,, sHe'S jUsT nOt InTo YoU 🎵" (mimicking the autotune and everything)

Ganyu & Keqing: "..."

You: " 🎵 gOtTa MoVe On, mOvE oN-🎵 Hurricane Katrina?? More like Hurricane Tortilla!"

Ganyu & Keqing: "...Can't be,"

"what else do we got? Should we call Yunjin to better mime for us??"

♡

Xiao's the first one to even get close to knowing u can actually talk to each other, bc he's always checking in on u most often <3

And he only heard u bc u swore u heard a monster outside ur house one night and came out ur house with a pitchfork, very nervous,

"...Hey there demons.. it's me.. ya boy."

(And u just keep stimming that out of nervousness to make urself feel better as u check around ur house lol)

Xiao: "??? Demons???!! WAIT-"

♧

By then, it literally took like 6 months for yall to finally have a real conversation 💀💀

...

(Chongyun got so embarassed bc he was one of the first few to misunderstand he overheated rip🙏)

Im. So. Sorry. This. Is. ✨️Ass✨️

Twas the best scenario i could come up with, im telling yall, im not as funny as the ppl who send in these asks 😔

Keep in mind, I never claimed i was funny or a good writer, u cant hold it against me lol /lh

Lower ur expectations LMAO

Well i hope u got sm enjoyment outta this anon, sorry abt the quality!! :)

Cheers,

🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

[pillarsalt]

Wikipedia anon here, i feel SO embarrassed for misremembering so much about that article. the concept of the cotton cieling and the reminder of the sheer amount of institutions/resources that have been taken over by tims/tras makes me so upset i didn't want to recheck the article again, even though i should have. (it was some time ago i saw the rb of your comic and did my first check, then saw your comic again and remembered about doing so, to clarify. yes i'm an absolute mess i apologize)

i appreciate you so much for not only getting what i was trying (and failing lmao) to explain but also looking into and linking the talk page because JFC!!! so sharing differing opinions for a topic (with cited sources!!) on wikipedia is a no-no, but it's totally fine when you and your friends retroactively decide pro-topic views make you look bad and so you delete the entire article and rewrite the definition of said topic to be about generically "being left out of spaces :.-(" instead of being honest about it being homophobic, rapist rhetoric (which is the reason you're trying to hide it in the first place) hoooooooly SHIT

if genderism ever blows over (with how long it's stuck around for, and with no one being willing to talk about objective/legal concerns like the WPATH files and Maya Forestater, let alone even have a conversation with a GC person, at this point i'm not hopeful...) everyone who contributed to the widescale abuse and trauma of women (especially lesbians), girls, gay men, gnc people, and tip (medicalized or not) could spend the rest of their lives begging for forgiveness and it wouldn't be anywhere near enough. not that i'm expecting them to do that, of course. it's not even blown over yet and we can see from the cotton ceiling article that they'll absolutely try to just gaslight everyone and pretend it never happened (and if it did, it wasn't that bad, and if it was bad it was your fault for not doing your research, etc etc)

ANYWAY i'd rather end on something positive, so thank you again for sharing your wonderful art on here!! seeing there's a talented, feminist female artist who's into pokemon and mlp but hasn't bought into trans ideology is so healing for me. hope you have a lovely day!!! :) :) :)

I wouldn't be embarrassed, I mean the article's not completely empty but it's obviously been stripped down to next to nothing compared to what it used to contain, and half the cited sources aren't really relevant at all. They briefly mention the MTF porn actor who coined the term but failed to mention the scores of other popular MTFs who were vehement proponents of the rhetoric (Riley J Dennis is the first one that comes to mind). And yeah that dude in the discussion page saying he's going to be watching the page and reverting any edits he doesn't like, isn't that very wikipedia illegal? I don't edit wikipedia but I'm fairly certain that camping on an article to make sure your edits aren't edited is not allowed.

It's definitely been a trend with "progressives" to flip the script on anything they've done and can see was wrong in retrospect, claiming "no actually YOU said this, not me." It's a very good reason to keep things documented, and I have huge respect for people who keep the receipts so we can hold people accountable for the harmful bullshit they've spread around. (Speaking of which, I think now is a good time to remind everyone that Eli Erlick is a rapist, another interesting fact that has been unsuccessfully scrubbed from the internet.)

Thanks for your wonderful words as well :) Have a great day too!

[edvinception]

I hope you don’t mind me sharing since this might fuel more unwarranted drama but I wanted to share some thoughts — from Felicia deleting her twitter account and looking at the pics from monaco, I feel really sad for her. I think the (v unnecessary) hate is beginning to take a toll on her. She (and Edvin kinda?) look pretty sad or at least despondent from what I have seen from pics/videos.

From everything we have learned from YR, re: Simon’s storyline and how he received hate from sm, it just feels so fucking meta and I know it’s not the fandom as a whole, but the hate does seem louder now that the show is over - I wish people could just be more empathetic or reflective. Like she has been w Edvin for a while now && is actually pretty fucking quiet about it (if i were her, i would totally only post about my relationship more & shove it in people’s face just to be petty but she’s more mature than me lmao) and yet people have trouble separating fiction from reality??

Like her, E, and O are all friends and yet people try to make her into some type of villain??? The internalized misogyny (since most who are spewing hate identify as women I think …) is unreal. And I know even using that as an argument will be considered an attack…

I mean what outcome do people want? Why can’t people just accept and move on??

Sorry for the long message - I feel so much empathy for E and F since I think he might feel guilty since it does seem now that he is on the rise to fame, people will always find a way to hate his partner. It’s with every male actor/celeb w a large fan base and it’s disgusting. I hope he and F have a good support system and ignore the white noise from social media echo chamber.

I agree with everything you say.

But also, I think they are okay, obviously getting hate on a daily basis is gonna take a toll on you but I think they have become good at distancing themselves from it, even before taking a step back.

That's not to say that this behaviour is okay by any means no matter how hard people try to justify their behaviour or claim it's all fair. It's really not and deep down they know it. Or they will grow up and be embarrassed when they lool back at their behaviour.

They are in the wrong, there's no buts, no excuses, nothing to legitimate it. But there's no reason to discuss or reason.

Just know that they are still in a minority and they seemingly have a lot of issues. One day they are gonna be like "yikes" at themselves. And if they won't then that's even more of a yikes because jfc what kind of a person are you.

[silvyysthings]

From what I have seen it is mostly timothee stans on twitter and tnt shippers the one attacking the guy on twitter, harassing him and threating to doxx him if he does not delete the tweets. It is kinda scary seeing minors and girlies in their 20s so pressed over their idol having friends and being friends with someone they don't like. Timmy is a human being, not anyone's toy and he can hang out and be friends with whomever he wants jfc.

😳😳" threating to doxx him if he does not delete the tweets"???? Really ? Omg the good thing is they have always accused charmie to do that ! 🤦‍♀️🤣

Completely agree with you anon

[spookytrashpandas]

Has anyone else (including systems) wanted to delete their accounts for everything and make a new one? We've been wanting to do that for a while, and we actually did do it with three of our apps. It's weird and personally I don't really like it because we've made progress on some things so aaa jfc

-Maxx

[justjstuff]

Hi! I just wanted to give you the heads up the kakashi art you reblogged where he is reading in bed is from a blog that uses AI for their art, I just looked through because I liked the art style and everything is tagged with AI art

Oh, man 😭 tysm for letting me know, I deleted the reblog. Honestly, this shit is so disheartening. It created such a hostile environment online tbh, everyone is always on high alert bc obviously we don’t want to promote this shit in any way and we have to stand in resistance but at the same time…jfc, you know?

I noticed that my response to the rise of AI images online, especially in fandom spaces, oscillates in two ways: I started reblogging stuff without much thought because it’s what I did for the past ten fucking years, I want to help promote artists, I want to be a reblogger instead of just a liker because I know the difference it makes but then I realised I was letting a lot of AI/stollen stuff pass, then I stopped reblogging anything until I could fast check if it was actually an artist but then jesus, it’s so fucking tiring to be engaging online like that, always suspecting every single person, having to go into each individual blog before I reblog something and like doubt every single person I see online posting something I just stopped going online and liking and reblogging altogether. I hate what it has become with a passion.

It’s gotten to the point where I look at some really good and detailed art and my first thought is “it’s probably AI” like people haven’t been churning out beautiful masterpieces before it. Or I see some other art that looks a bit weird in the proportions and go “it’s definitely AI, look at the hands” and it’s like no!!! It’s not AI! It was just a human being not making perfect art!!! And years back I would have reblogged it immediately because I’m a firm believer art isn’t about it being perfect and we should treasure beginners as much as the super experienced artists but now I’m sitting here and analysing the way they used lighting and the proper shapes and flow and just… I’m genuinely so tired.

And the worst part is that if you sit with an AI image for a while you can definitely tell it apart but there’s some styles that can 100% be mistaken for a specific type of art and unless you dive deeper you wouldn’t be able to tell it apart, especially since it’s been months of this bullshit and the programs are getting better. And most people don’t ever come online to sit with a piece, we all just see something cool, like, reblog, maybe leave a comment as quick as we can before moving on. The solution I think is to never engage online unless I can know I’ll be 100% invested in every single piece I see enough to make sure it’s not AI before I reblog. But ;-; I never come online to be even more alert, I’m used to coming here to mindlessly interact as I’m sure a lot of people do and yeah that doesn’t seem sustainable anymore and now it just makes me want to not interact in online social spaces anymore. But I know for a fact that when I do that and I’m “properly resisting” AI generated images, I’m definitely contributing to this rise of less interaction with artists, I’m also a part of the problem for them having less engagement overall.

This isn’t something new, it’s just something that I’ve been thinking a lot about lately and you gave me the chance to try and put it to words. I’m not even sure if I said all I wanted to say or if I’m coming across as I intended but I’m just genuinely sad that this is all happening to us and feeling particularly hopeless about our future as artists and human beings.

Sorry this is all over the place, please keep letting me know if you see me reblog something you found out to be AI, I’m trying and I’m so tired of this shit.

[sapphire-weapon]

Do you think Ashley will be mentioned or at least coming in future RE games? if so what do you think her role might be? I heard alot of fans wanting re6 remake and replacing Helena with Ashley????? what are your thoughts on that??

off topic but I js wanted to say that I absolutely love your analysis on everything it's so accurate and lovely 🫶🏻🫶🏻💕

RE fans are so fucking stupid oh my god LMAO Capcom isn't going to delete and overwrite a playable protagonist, jfc. And Helena didn't do anything wrong to deserve getting punished like that. Jackasses.

I've talked about this a little bit before, but I don't see them bringing Ashley back in the OG timeline. I really just don't. I think the only way we get her back is if the Remake games become their own offshoot series.

And the reason why I say that is because she's not going to get brought back without Leon, and Leon has maybe one more mainline title in him before Capcom's going to be forced to retire his character due to his age. He's canonically turning 46 this year, so if he's not in RE9 (which will likely put him around 47-49), his story will have to end in RE10, because there's no way they're keeping him going past age 55.

And to bring Ashley back this late in the game seems absolutely ludicrous. They'd have to find some way to explain where the fuck she's been and what the fuck she's been doing for over twenty years. And that's absurd, even by RE standards.

I mean. I guess it's not impossible. Rebecca was absent for 16 in-universe years, but. She's also Rebecca. It's way easier to bring someone like her back and handwave it away that she's already met and known the other protagonists that she's never shared a game with, simply by virtue of her being a Raccoon City survivor and being connected to everyone through Chris and Jill. Ashley doesn't have that. She only knows Leon and has absolutely no reason to ever meet anyone else.

I feel like the only way we see Ashley return in the OG timeline is if Capcom pulls the rug out from under fucking everyone and makes her Leon's happily ever after at the zero hour. Like, he finally hangs up his gun and retires and Ashley is the home he returns to. AND THAT'S NEVER GOING TO FUCKING HAPPEN LOL (but dear god could you imagine how incredibly hilarious it'd be if it did??? the fandom would never recover)

She might get a mention. Sure. I was shocked to see her mentioned in Infinite Darkness, so now I won't be shocked if she gets another mention somewhere -- maybe in a memo in a game or something. But... I really just think it's been too long to have her be a physical presence in the storyline anymore.

And I'd love to be wrong. Really, I would love to be wrong in this instance. Maybe the writers over at Capcom have an Aaron Rogers-tier Hail Mary up their sleeves to shock and awe me with and they could actually pull off a return for her.

But I really think our best bet is hoping for the Remake timeline theory to become reality.

[burnitalldowndarling]

Fanfics getting Archive.org’d

I got contacted by the person who I thought was posting my fics at Archive.org. They were cordial and apologized, and we talked. First, they thought I had been the one to post my fanfics on Archive.org, and they were just linking to it because of that. Second, it’s now clear that they weren’t the one who did repost my fic. So I’m publicly apologizing to them (probably best not to post their name again) here for that -- especially since that person has apparently been hit with some harassment because of it. I always feel like I shouldn’t have to say this, but I’m old and keep forgetting that the internet has lost its gotdamn mind in the past few years, so: DON’T HARASS PEOPLE. JFC. I’m pissed off about this, too, but this person isn’t the one who put my fic up on another site -- and even the one who did it doesn’t deserve death threats. Because that’s happening. But I should’ve expected that people would do this, and I didn’t because I was so freaked out and angry, so, sorry again. I’ve apologized to this person privately as well.

And to be clear, I’m well aware that some people want their work saved at Archive.org, and that a lot of fanfics get archived there -- but I thought this was by the author’s choice. AO3 has two features that I (apparently mistakenly) thought would keep my fics from getting snapped by Archive.org: a little toggle in the preferences screen that allows readers to “Hide my work from search engines/indexing,” and the “Show works to AO3 users only” toggle in individual fic preferences. I’ve always had the former checked, but I’ve only occasionally locked my fics to the latter. I now know you need to do both to keep Archive.org trawlers off your fic.

I’m still thinking about creating a Discord for my fic instead. Probably won’t because I don’t really like Discord, but if I can’t keep my fic under my control on AO3 then I’ll need to do something else.

(For those who do not understand this, no, not all writers are grateful to have control of our work snatched out of our hands. Remember AO3 was created by and for writers who didn’t like our stuff being deleted or censored against our will... so I think it’s understandable that a lot of us would also not want our work copied or archived against our will, either. These are times when fic writers are getting shredded on Tiktok for likes, and our labors of love are training chatbots to make a profit. Being able to control our own work is pretty much the only defensive weapon we have.)

So again, to keep Archive.org trawlers off your fic (if that’s how it’s ended up there), you need to check the “Only Show Your Work To Registered Users” box in the post form, or the mass-editing form. If you find your work on Archive.org, you can (email link) request that it be taken down. Since I have hundreds of fics posted and only two seem to have ended up at Archive.org, I think some individual manually put those two there to preserve them, instead of just saving them to a private file or storage like most people do -- but Archive.org is public, so doing this to a fic author without asking means taking their work from a nice protective, “domesticated” site like AO3 and releasing it into the wild, without warning. If the person who put up my fics is reading this... yeah, don’t do that. If people want their works archived in perpetuity, let them orphan them or put the fics up on Archive.org themselves.

[astorytotellyourfriends]

Hi, sorry if it’s something you don’t want to talk about, and feel free to ignore if so, but did you delete your twitter?

hi anon! yes, i did delete my twitter. i joined twitter last october specifically to post about hellcheer and engage with other hellcheer fans, but i genuinely just do not feel comfortable on twitter anymore.

to me it just started to feel like it was less about hellcheer and more about absurd amounts of drama and it got harder and harder to just keep posting about hellcheer and stay neutral otherwise. it's sad bc i really enjoyed seeing the content there but i won't be going back, i'm staying here on tumblr (where i've been since 2009 lol jfc) where i can just reblog things and share my silly little thoughts in peace.

thanks for checking in, anon. i appreciate it 💛