#jfc this is 2k words

[lesbianyosano]

i’ve been trying to write this stupid fic for almost a year now how do you guys do it

[amtrak12]

62,000 words with 4 chapters to go before the midpoint. My last two chapters have averaged 9000 words apiece. You guys.... you guys....

This can’t be a 200,000 word fic. PLEASE! Tell me this isn’t a 200,000 word fic?! :S

[psychedelic-ink]

𝐀𝐫𝐭 𝐃𝐞𝐜𝐨 - 𝐁𝐨𝐧𝐮𝐬 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐲 𝐈𝐧 𝐁𝐞𝐝

pairing: pre outbreak!joel miller x f!reader, one sided tommy miller x f!reader

series summary: After your grandfather’s passing, you find yourself moving into his home in Texas. You meet the Millers; Tommy, his older brother Joel and his daughter Sarah. With time, you and Tommy become close friends and Sarah visits you often. But Joel…Joel keeps his distance. The reason for this is due to one crucial fact you don’t know but he does; Tommy has a crush on you. Which means you’re off limits no matter what. But as your own feelings for Joel grow, things start to get more and more complicated.

word count: 2k

chapter summary: if you were wondering how Joel took his spicy picture for Asha, this is how.

warnings: male masturbation, use of a mirror, nipple play, spitting, very explicit, a tad bit of joel putting himself down, you're not there physically but you're definitely there in spirit, brief thoughts of rimming, lil bit of self ass play

a/n: this is a little gift for all of you guys who love SIB, and it's also an apology because it looks like I won't be able to get the new chapter out this week but believe me, I'm working on it 🧡 This takes place between chapters four and five, if you don't mind getting spoiled feel free to read. and yes those are pedro's hands in the moodboard jfc look at those veins

“Do you like it?” 

Joel looks down, a bit shocked, but not unpleasantly. Between his fingers, he holds a photo of Asha, naked as the day she was born. Her lean hand covers her sex, leaving it to his imagination and her breasts were glistening—he presumes she used an ointment of some kind— and her nipples were hard, indicating that she played with herself before taking the picture. 

His cock twitches and he swallows thickly around the knot forming in his throat. 

“ ‘Course I do,” he groans, shifting on the bed. “And you want me to take one too?” 

“If you don’t mind.” 

“I don’t but I ain’t as pretty as you are.” 

With a grin, Asha traces a hand above the expense of his bare chest, the tips of her fingers dipping over his sternum. 

“You’re prettier than you think.” 

Joel stares at the window, his jaw tight and fingers tense around the small shot glass that he holds. A breeze comes through the window and rustles the curtains. He can hear crickets. With a deep sigh, he throws back his head and swallows the amber fluid. It burns as it goes down. 

He closes the windows, then the curtains. He’s hoping the liquid courage would take its effect soon. The bottom of the glass hits the bedside table and he falls to the bed, staring begrudgingly at the camera. He decided to place the tripod right in front of the mirror, which now he realizes wasn’t a good idea. He’s not that thrilled in seeing himself being so unsure. He drags his palm down his face, eyes falling to the drawer where Asha’s picture lays. He’s still not sure why she asked for it—well, he knows why, he just doesn’t understand why him. 

Joel’s aware he’s not the worst looking out here, he’s definitely caught your gaze once or twice lingering on him whenever he’s out fixing the truck. And Asha surely seems to be infatuated with him. But that had only happened now. Not when he was young. Not when he was attending high school and working full shifts to take care of Tommy. And when people did approach him, it was mostly to get closer to The Tommy Miller—his younger brother was always the one with the charm and charisma. 

Suddenly Joel’s heart feels lighter, hints of joy warming his chest. Asha wants that picture. She wants to see him, wants to keep him close.

Licking his lips, he walks up to the camera and adjusts the timer. His mind wanders to the moment he shared with you at the bar. He’d acted impulsively, kissing your cheek like that. The only thing granting him relief was the fact that it seemed nothing more but a friendly gesture from the outside. 

It sure as hell hadn’t felt friendly from the inside. It felt more than that. 

Before pressing the shutter, he sits back down on the bed. The old furniture creaking with protest. He peels off his shirt, throws it to the floor. He thinks about what kind of pose to do, and about how naked he should be. He’s not that comfortable showing his dick. He’s not that comfortable showing his face either—so what the hell is he supposed to do? 

He cups his cock and rubs his palm through the denim. An immediate burst of heat rolls up his spine, his dick twitching with need. He breathes out a soft exhale and repeats the movement. Grinding his palm against his growing erection. 

Oh, that definitely feels nice. 

A smile tugs at his lips and his pulse quickens. Without much thought, he swipes his thumb over a nipple. A hiss elevates from the back of his throat, his hips stuttering into the air. With a sudden desperation, he unbuckles his belt and cheats his hand down his jeans. He’s rough with himself. Grabbing his cock and tugging at the head until he’s hard and dripping. Joel sinks his teeth into his bottom lip, the pain also adding to the heat growing between his legs. 

“This should be good,” he murmurs, walking back up to the camera. He clicks the shuffle and stumbles back, he tries to strike something similar to a pose. He stretches a bit, sucks in his stomach, and decides to leave his hand lingering down his pants. 

His chest heaves, but he’s excited when he hears the click. He’s genuinely surprised at how aroused he is, thick drops of precum heavy over his knuckles. 

Joel had never considered himself to be a kinky person. As far as he knew, he was into the same things as most guys his age. But maybe he had more going on in this thick noggin of his than he thought. 

Joel definitely doesn’t mind the camera now. 

The picture pops out and he yanks it away from the device. He wags it in the air a bit, a form of a body slowly appearing on glossy paper. He takes a good look at himself. Half of his face is out of frame, which pleases him. There’s a slight blur to the background that he kinda likes. Thanks to the way his hand is hidden underneath the front of his jeans, his forearm looks quite nice and strong. 

With a pleased smile, he places it between the pages of a magazine. Then he allows himself to fall back to the bed, his legs hanging off the side. Joel grunts as he kicks off his jeans, not wanting to feel restricted anymore. It’s not often he’s alone in the house. He plans on taking advantage of it. 

He pulls a pillow down to where his head is, getting comfortable, he glances at himself through the mirror. A flush darkens his cheeks. He never watched himself before. Never saw the faces he makes. Some part of him wants to ignore the sudden interest and just take care of his…situation, but the other part of him wants to experiment. It almost feels like someone is watching him. 

He remembers seeing a mirror in your house. Have you ever indulged in this way? Get naked in front of the mirror and fuck yourself with a toy that wouldn’t be nearly as satisfying as his cock could be? 

I’m fucking losing it, he thinks. But he can’t stop thinking about it now. 

Joel's hand moves down to his cock, his fingertips brushing over the sensitive head. His breathing becomes shallow as he starts to stroke himself, the soft moans escaping his lips filling the quiet room. He closes his eyes and imagines you there with him, your fingers tracing along his body, your lips pressing against his skin. 

His fingers trail down his chest, gliding over the curves of his nipples, each touch sends a shiver, his tighs going taut and stiff. His eyes flicker to the mirror, he catches a glimpse of himself - naked, a flush of pink creeping up from his chest to his neck.

He hesitates, wondering what he's doing, and why he's doing it. But then he remembers you, the way you looked at him at the bar, the feeling of your skin under his fingertips, the way you leaned in close when you spoke. Your scent; a sharp inhale of blooming flowers mixed with the suffocating scent of the paint that you use. You’re a ghostly presence, something that’s always with him, but not in the way that he wants. 

Joel squeezes his cock and moves up his hand, swiping the head with the flat of his palm. He wants everything to be wet, messy, and tight. With a sudden impulse, he pushes his upper body off the bed and goes to spit on his cock. A soft tremor burrows in his stomach. A rather indulgent moan coming alive in the back of his throat. 

Pursing his lips, he spits again, the wetness instantly being spread out with his hand. He watches the way his cock glistens through the mirror. Joel wants to believe it’s your slick instead, making him warm and wet. You’d be so eager to take him, so needy for him to fuck you. His teeth sink into the inside of his cheek. He’d make you beg a bit for it first. Joel would want to hear your voice getting high and squeaky, but he wouldn’t let the game go on for too long. He doesn’t want you to think that he’s not appreciative of you and your perfect pussy. 

His strokes speed up, wet sounds getting louder. Joel allows his imagination to run wild. A string of sultry images flashes in his mind. 

You, on your knees, struggling to take his cock down your throat. 

You, bent over, asscheeks spread, begging him to fill you up. 

You, asking for him to fuck you harder, faster. 

And him, eager to follow every command. 

Fuck, and you’d look so good too. Moaning his name, soaking his cock and fingers. He licks his lips, imagining how you would taste like. Something sweet, he bets, sweet and maybe a bit bitter. Just like you. 

Jerking himself, a visceral whine crawls out of his throat. His eyes flutter shut for a brief moment and he swears he can feel you. Your weight, your heat—all of it crashing down on him and bringing him near the peak. He loosens his grip, traces the throbbing vein that curls around his cock with the blunt of his nail. With a shallow breath, he slips his fingers lower.

Joel’s mouth floods when he cups his balls, rolling them in his palm, he gives them a gentle tug. The coil in his stomach tightens, a tremble overwhelming him. With his tongue between his lips, his fingers brush the skin right underneath. His eyes snap wide open, liquid, molten, lava-like pleasure boils his veins—he gasps and his hips stutter into the air, his dick painfully hard, drips over his stomach. 

His hand dips further down his legs. Very gently, Joel circles the puckered hole with the pad of his middle finger but doesn’t dare to go further. He never has. This is as far as he’s gone, discovering that the little tease was enough to get him riled up at a young age. He imagines your tongue teasing over the hole instead of his finger. 

“Fuck.” 

His own voice sounds estranged to him. It sounds so deep, and raspy. Like he’s been sick for days. A shudder overwhelms him when he wraps his calloused fingers around his cock once more. He’s so fucking close. His breathing comes in short, shallow pants, the head of his cock a dark red. He fuck himself into his fist harder, faster, tightens the gap, thinking that it’s you. 

His eyes move back to the mirror, his other hand teasing at his nipples, pulling and twisting them until he moans out loud. The sight of himself, of his own arousal, is a heady aphrodisiac. He’s wrecked. It never felt this good before. There’s a buzz in his veins, an itch that can’t be scratched. His cock is drooling all over himself. His breath catches in his throat—He’s about to—shitshitshit—

Joel fixes his gaze on his reflection; he looks so out of it, lips swollen and parted, hair a mess and eyes glazed over. Fuck, he’s starting to understand now what Asha meant by calling him pretty. 

A long whine leaves his lips as the first string of pearly white cum splashes over his stomach. It’s followed by another one, and then another. His eyes roll back into his skull. He feels it on his chest, stomach, knuckles….a growl rattles in his chest. Pleasure rakes his body from his toes to his head. He strokes himself harder, loosening and tightening his grip around his cock to mimic the feel of your fluttering cunt might be. Joel’s eyes flutter closed, heavy pants leaving his lips. He feels dizzy, disoriented. 

When he opens his eyes again, he smooths his hand over his stomach, spreading the stickiness all over his sweaty skin. He cheats another glance at the mirror. 

God, he wishes you were here to clean him up.

I hope you guys enjoyed this little interlude ♡ I do realize that some parts of this might be a bit out of character for Joel but I just love thinking of him as someone who always wanted to experiment more but just never had a chance to do so, a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine. He's just looking for that person he can trust to have some fun with 🤭 I also think of him being a bit self coincidence which we will be seeing more of in the future.

Wishing everyone an amazing weekend, new chapter will be coming soon!

[alchemistc]

Ten Questions For Fic Writers

I was tagged by @herrmannhalsteadproduction, @cliophilyra,

@beefcakekinard, @rcmclachlan, and @kirkaut

Number of works on ao3?

137

Total word count?

680,210

What fandoms do you write for?

9-1-1 right now, but I've been known to dabble all over -- my top five as far as # of fics are Once Upon a Time, Stranger Things, 9-1-1 (jfc I'm ALREADY almost 1/3 of the way to the fandom I've written the most for, Tim and Lou put CRACK in Tommy Kinard), The Walking Dead and The Punisher

Do you respond to comments?

I've been doing a truly terrible job of it recently but I try to. The 9-1-1 fics are all looking daunting already, gonna have to get on that soon

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't know? The chances aren't zero considering how many places my writing has ended up over the years but it's never been reported to me and I've never run across it or searched it out.

Have you ever cowritten?

Nah. Frantic, deranged DM's with moots throwing more and more ridiculous ideas back and forth at one another, but never cowriting.

What’s your all time favourite ship?

I'm gonna go with a classic Lizzy/Darcy even though they aren't even my fav Jane Austen pairing. They've stood the test of time and people are STILL managing to find ways to either adapt, rewrite, modernize, or transfer their story onto another pairing.

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue. Ending lines. Digging into the psyche of whomever's POV I'm in to create a clearer picture, especially when I'm wholesale creating an OC for an outsider POV. Brevity, in the sense that I can cram 50k of fic into a 2k one-shot.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Smut. I hate writing it. I hate reading it back and second and third and forth-guessing myself. It always feels so clunky compared to everything else I write and I'm a shit who won't just practice at it until I get better, I want to be good at it immediately or not at all.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter. Nothing that ever made it to the internet and it was lost to the basement flood of '08 but I can still clearly picture a couple of the scenes I daydreamed up. (Laugh with me as we both realize at the same time that while 12 yr old me was reading FILTHY Snape/Hermione and Sirius/Hermione smut at three in the morning in the dark, I only ever WROTE Ron/Hermione.)

tagging literally anyone who has not been tagged in these, tag me and tell me your secrets.

And a couple I didn't see at a glance on the ones I was tagged in:

@26-cats-in-a-trenchcoat, @devirnis, @firehose118, @princessfbi, @middyblue,

@cecilyv, @liminalmemories21,

[emelinstriker]

sneaking the macaque x reader be like

i worked on this shit in school whenever my brain was on sleepmode what the fuck i’m not even done yet- i’m sitll at the scene with him seeing the reader

like pretty sure this one’s going up way before the nezha one-shot jfc- here have an extra sneak sneak for me being able to surprise myself cuz i was expecting to be still below 2k words

[reliand]

Writing Patterns

I was tagged by the lovely @dear-massacre <3 <3 <3

Rules: list the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there's a pattern!

I'm going to break the rules immediately and skip a couple of my last posted fics bc there's extremely triggering content. omg these are old jfc. I haven't posted a fic in a decade.

Prepuce | Stiles/Derek | 748 words | Explicit:

“Is it too much to ask for someone to just have sex with me already?” Stiles asks.

Hold 'em Down, Breath 'em In | Stiles/Derek | 748 words| Explicit:

“Sorry,” Stiles says, head not lifting from Derek’s pillow. “I couldn’t sleep at my own house. Felt weird.”

RED | Allison/Lydia, Allison/multiple | 706 words | Explicit:

Ally A has gone away, where no one can quite find her.

Amplexus | Stiles/Derek | 1174 words | Explicit:

Stiles wanders from bed to bed these days.

Signal in the Sky | Stiles/Derek | 38k | Explicit:

Getting accepted into Beacon Preparatory is basically a no brainer if your parents are super.

Dark and Dreamless | Stiles/Derek, Stiles/OCs | 4k | Explicit:

He doesn’t even know the guy.

The First Day of the Rest of My Life | Gen | 393 | G:

Isaac can admit that Derek isn’t the most fun person to be around. He’s standoffish and growly at the best of times.

and because most of my shit is fucked, here's some unpublished bc I only reached 7:

Falling, Fallen | Harry/Draco | 74k | explicit:

Depending on where you started the story, it began with love.

Untitled | Harry/Draco | 2k | explicit:

Draco is bony and abrasive and a bad idea.

Well, my patterns...I usually have short opening sentences and I often jump straight into the action. If I could get away with it, I'd use alliteration in every opener because it's my favorite. I've often used it too much and remember actually changing some of these opening sentences because I think I was using it as a crutch. I think my writing has gotten stronger than it was a decade ago, but bc I haven't posted anything it's difficult to tell lol

I'm not going to tag, but If you feel like playing, go ahead :)

[quetzalpapalotl]

I'm 2k words into this and I haven't even started talking about Autocracy let alone the New Cybertron flashbacks jfc

[youunravelme]

reblogging sexy matthew gifs like i wont d-e… how is the fic coming 👀👀👀 i’ve totally stalled on my own writing this week bc of work </3 the pain of working for a living when i just want to yap </333

dude those gifs?????? jfc. that's all i'll say. the fic is coming along! i'm trying to wrap it up which means i'll type another 2k words lolol.

i feel you on the work delaying the writing though. i have two jobs now and the summer semester for school starts on monday so i'm really trying to finish this fic while i still have some semblance of free time.

but living the yap life is hard for sure.

[bard-llama]

Too tired to write, so have a WiP list

Anyone who knows me knows I have a WiP Problem. As in, I have waaaaaaaayyy too many and jump around between them like a deranged monkey. 

Feel free to send me an ask asking more about any of these if they happen to spark your interest! I’m always happy to talk about my dumb fics lol and this is literally just a list, so if you want more info, pls hmu. I’d be delighted to tell you the absurd amount of stuff I’ve figured out for some of these fics that haven’t seen the light of day.

Gonna split this up into 2 categories: fics that have been partially published and fics that haven’t seen the light of day at all (except perhaps here in a WiP Weds or something). This includes gen + shippy fics, which I post to separate accounts, but I’m really bad at actually keeping stuff separate lol

Total count: 82 WiPs jfc

Published but Incomplete

Storyteller Zuko AKA Those Who Tell Stories Rule the World (current chapter at 1.7k words)

Following the Rules AKA The Consequences of Breaking the Rules (current chapter at 700 words)

Two Lovers Omashu Fic AKA The Pebble That Causes an Avalance (current chapter at 2.8k words)

Comic Fic AKA Seduction of the Innocent (current chapter at 78 words (remaining fic: 2k))

Ba Sing Se Boyfriends AKA Facing the Dragon (of the West) (current chapter at 156 words (remaining fic: 4.3k words))

Ba Sing Se Hookups AKA (Going) Down and Out in Ba Sing Se (current chapter (14) at 4.1k words)

S3 OT3 fic AKA Hope for the Future (current chapter at 555 words)

Dragon Mama Zuko AKA Zuko’s Terrible, No Good, Very Bad (Yet Kinda Awesome) Destiny (current chapter (2) at 3.1k words (remaining fic: 15.5k words 🤦))

Post-canon OT3 fic AKA A Royal Heir (current chapter at 2.1k words (remaining fic: 6.3k words))

Aggressive Zuko AKA I’m Your Fire, Your Desire (current chapter at 128 words (remaining fic: 805 words))

Everyone Wants Zuko AKA Reading Lips (current chapter at 461 words)

Gaang Marriage AKA Commitment to Balance (current chaptert at 708 words)

Total: 12

Unpublished These are in no particular order in that I stick them in my doc randomly and then order my 16 GDocs tabs meticulously lmao

Earth and Air (sequel to Fire and Water) - 975 words 😭

Agni’s Little Flame - 1207 words

Unyielding - 167 words

Zuko collects strays - 99 words

Harmonious Accord - 42 words

Zuko adapts other bending techniques - 2.8k words

Fire Control - 412 words

Nightmares - 1k words

Good at Bending - 1k words

Healing Fire - 1.2k words

Sibling Rulers - 247 words

Azula and her brother - 2.1k words

Crew Bonding/Breathing Fire - 1.9k words

Bounty Hunter Zuko - 683 words

Katara hating on Zuko - 303 words

Imprisoned DoBS!Zuko becomes Fire Lord and has an awkward conversation - 17k words

Zuko stops chasing Aang, so Aang chases Zuko - 8.1k words

Batman!Zuko - 7.5k words

Viva la Resistance - 217 words

Aang in the Iceberg: Dreams - 674 words

Angst Coma Time Travel - 651 words

Punishment - 52 words

Accidental Shaman Zuko - 14.2k words

The Fire Lord and the Avatar - 1.9k words

All the Politics - 13.1k words

February Challenges - 1.7k words

The Tournament of Kingship - 1.9k words

Zuko Asks Forgiveness Through Action: Actions Speak Louder Than Words - 1.9k words

Shirtless Sparring - 355 words

Retribution - 364 words

Crowd Shy - 254 words

“Seduce” You to the Good Side - 530 words

Serious Take: Come to the Good Side, We Have Cookies - 3.9k words

Return to Pohuai - 1.5k words

Oviposition PWP - 405 words

Our Love Become a Funeral Pyre - 799 words

Pining - 4.4k words

Spontaneous Combustion - 2.6k words

Early S3 AU - 2.5k words

Gay Bar - 387 words

Airbender Blow Jobs - 109 words

Ozai - 163 words

Fluffy Zuko/Aang - 253 words

“My heart feels like it’s dancing when I look at you.” - 465 words

Zuko blows Aang while Katara watches - 391 words

Fealty - 1.5k words

Choosing Nonviolence: Aang sees Zuko’s Scars - 1.4k words

Choosing Nonviolence: What Is Forgiveness? - 592 words

Aang Approaching Zuko Morning After - 1.6k words

Dreams/Nightmares - 436 words

Pampering Zuko - 460 words

Zuko navigating 10 (billion) relationships - 1.3k words

“Being in love is not a weakness, you know?” - 118 words

Truth Serum - 144 words

De-aged Zuko - 1.8k words

Treasure (Sequel to Pearl drabble) - 1.1k words

“I’m in love with your voice.” - 393 words

First Kiss/First Time - 1.1k words

Sex Pollen Hakoda/Zuko + Kuei/Zuko - 753 words

Southern Water Tribe Family/Zuko: A Southern Water Tribe Welcome - 119 words

Global Leaders Orgy (🚫Arnook🚫) - 65 words

Maiko + Gaang - 107 words

Sex Pollen Blue Spirit/Aang - 1k words

Everyone Wants to Fuck Zuko - 1k words

Consensual Somnophilia - 226 words

“Prisoner” Zuko - 498 words

Working Together/Mission Fic - 1.9k words

Pao’s Teashop Office Sex - 449 words

Zuko becomes Fire Lord AU - 829 words

Toph Joins S1 - 1.1k words

Total: 70

[tros-for-dinner]

[TROS re-write: in this version, the secret Finn has been keeping throughout the movie is that he doesn’t want to kill for the Resistance either, and he wants to save the stormtroopers. Poe remembers his failure in TLJ and his secret in this movie is he’s afraid he’s not a good leader and he’s going to mess up again. After freeing Rose (instead of Chewie) from the star destroyer, escaping by the skin of their teeth, and crash-landing the Falcon on Kef Bir (Endor’s moon, I had to look it up), the team meets the colony of escaped troopers and decide to spend the night recuperating.]

Poe finds Finn at a distance from the fire, staring at the flames without seeing them. Poe sits beside him on the bench, a strange apprehensiveness fluttering through him. He’s never seen Finn this withdrawn.

“What is it?” he asks quietly. His worry intensifies when Finn blinks back into the present, to Poe, then glances away. “We made it out okay,” Poe tries to reassure, making a stab in the dark. “We all made it out okay, Finn. You don’t have to keep worrying.”

Instead of replying, Finn sighs, heavily, and Poe is startled to see tears well up in his eyes. Automatically, he reaches out to grip Finn’s shoulder, try and provide some reassurance. Finn reaches up to grip Poe’s hand but still doesn’t look at him.

“Whatever it is, you can tell me,” Poe implores. It hurts more than he could have imagined when Finn still doesn’t look or move to speak.

“Can I, though?” Finn finally says, almost too quietly to hear. 

When Poe realizes what Finn said, his jaw drops and it’s on the tip of his tongue to retort - What is that supposed to mean?! - when a mirage of General Organa appears in his mind’s eye, glaring at him for being so undiplomatic in such a sensitive situation. He swallows down his retort and fishes at length for what he needs to say.

“All I know,” he eventually says carefully, “is that you need to talk to someone, and if you would be more comfortable talking to Rey, I will get up right now and get her.”

Finn sighs again, but it’s different. “No,” he says, and squeezes Poe’s hand, “you’re the one I need to talk to.”

Finn sighs again, shaking his head. “What do you remember…from Crait?”

There’s a lot of things he remembers from Crait, but before he can reply, Finn sighs again. “Rose said to me, after our failed bombing run, ‘we have to fight to save what we love’, instead of, you know, killing what we hate and…I’ve been thinking about that nearly every day.” He sighs and shifts in his seat to throw his head back and look up at the stars. “Have you ever talked to Rey about the Force?”

“Not really,” Poe says, trying to keep any negative emotions out of his voice. Religion isn’t really something he puts stock into, as a general rule, and it’s really unnerving to see objects move under unseen power when they’re supposed to be stationary.

“I don’t have the Force. Not like Rey does. But…” Finn trails off, visibly thinking. “The Force is like standing in a river: I can feel it pressing on me, swirling around me, but I can’t see the currents in the water.”

Poe blinks. “I thought you didn’t have the Force.”

Finn shakes his head. “I can’t control it like Rey can, but I can feel it. I always have but I didn’t know how to understand it.” For a very long moment, he doesn’t speak, then: “Getting Rose out, being on that Star Destroyer…I’d forgotten how bad it was but it all came rushing back.” Poe can see tears glimmering in his eyes again.

“How bad what was?” Poe asks, as gently as he can.

Finn shakes his head again, pressing his eyes shut. Tears run down down his cheeks, glinting in the firelight. “The air on the ship is just…unbearable. The misery. The…you’re surrounded by so many people but you’re so alone, all the time. They took everything from us: our names, our selves - and then our lives. They erased us so that only the armor remained. No one can live like that, and I can’t believe I’d forgotten how bad it was. I thought I was the only trooper that ever got out.”

“But you weren’t,” Poe anticipates, and Finn nods, somehow looking even more miserable than before. Poe doesn’t understand. “Buddy, you just gotta celebrate whatever wins we get! It’s great that Jannah and her group got out!”

Finn nods even as his face crumples. “You’re right,” he manages to get out, but then starts to cry in earnest. Poe throws caution into the wind and pulls Finn into an embrace; thankfully, Finn goes willingly and sobs into his shoulder, squeezing Poe tightly in his arms. Poe feels terrible - he’d been so upset Finn was keeping a secret from him just a few days ago. He had no idea Finn was holding on to something so heavy.

“Please tell me what’s wrong,” he pleads, so quietly that he knows only Finn can hear him, as his sorrow winds down and his grip lessens.

“I left the First Order because I didn’t want to kill for them,” Finn says, voice hoarse and cracking around unshed tears. “I can’t kill for the Rebellion, Poe. I can’t do it. I can’t…” he dissolves back into tears, and Poe rocks him like his mother used to even though he feels like Finn punched him in the stomach. Suddenly so much makes sense, and Poe feels terrible that he caused Finn to feel like this.

“It’s okay,” Finn manages to say, and it takes Poe a beat to realize he’s replying to Poe’s unspoken sentiment. “It took me a while to figure and I didn’t know how to tell you.”

“Finn, if you can’t tell your best bud something like this that’s eating you up, I’m doing a fairly crappy job,” he says, and that gets Finn to laugh a bit. “Okay, I’m taking you off gun duty, that’s no problem,” Poe says, even though that is a problem in the grand scheme of things. Maybe he can hook BB up to the gun on the Falcon - Rose and Finn said BB took over an AT-AT on the Star Destroyer to help them escape; bet that was a hell of a show…

Poe realizes that Finn has stopped crying but is now tense in his arms. Poe loosens his grip and Finn pulls away to arm’s length, not looking at Poe.

“That’s not everything,” Poe realizes, watching his reaction. When Finn doesn’t look at him, Poe takes hold of his shoulders and squeezes them gently, trying to hug him without pulling him close again. “Finn, whatever it is, I promise I’m not going to be angry. You are my best friend. I can’t help you until you tell me what you need.”

Finn doesn’t speak for a moment, then he exhales shakily. “I thought BB was your best friend,” he says, and it takes Poe a second to realize the non-sequitur is a joke.

He frowns at Finn even as a laugh is trying to bubble up. Jokes are a good sign. “BB may be adorable but best friend has been you for a while, buddy.”

Finn gives him a grateful - if watery - smile and reaches up to grip Poe’s hand on his shoulder. “I realized,” he says, looking down at his shoes, “when Rose briefed us on the condition of the fleet that taking down the control tower isolates the ships. While the number of ‘troopers has stayed the same, intelligence shows they’re going to skeleton crews as far as officers and command crew go. Isolating the ships from their neighbors would make sure that if something happened to the command crew, the ship would be dead in the water for as long as it took to get the command tower back online.”

Poe squints at him and has to search for a diplomatic response. “That’s the general plan, yes,” he manages to say without it being condescending, but Finn shakes his head.

“Poe,” he says, lifting his gaze to look at the man directly, “the full number of troopers is ten thousand on each star destroyer. Ten thousand troopers per ship, suffering cycle after cycle, and who knows how many looking for a way to escape. The Rebellion shoots them out of the sky without even offering surrender.”

Poe suddenly, viscerally understands what Finn is trying to say. “The command crew will never surrender,” his mouth says automatically even as his brain calculates the consequences of what Finn is implying, as if he was right back in the cockpit of his X-wing in the middle of a dogfight. It’s insane. It’s impossible. It’s something that has never been done before in the history of the Rebellion.

Finn looks him directly in the eyes and grips Poe’s shoulders in a mirroring gesture. “The command crew is outnumbered by troopers ten-to-one,” he says intently, not looking away even to blink. “Jannah told me today that the ‘troopers are still using the same private comm channels as before I got out. Poe,” he says, shaking the man in emphasis, “all we would have to do is cut the ship off, broadcast to the troopers, offer surrender, Poe…”

“How would we get the ‘troopers off the ship?” Poe asks, but he’s already calculated the answer. He closes his eyes. “If the troopers take over the ship, we won’t have to get them out. We just have to support them until we can get everything sorted out.”

Finn shakes him a little and Poe opens his eyes to look at him. “If only a few want to defect,” Finn says quietly, “there are drop-ships they can take out. But I was thinking something more ambitious.”

Poe raises his eyebrows incredulously, unable to verbalize the question. Finn looks right at him, a sort of steely determination mixed with palpable fear. “Me and Rey could break into the command center and force them to surrender.”

Poe’s hands, still on Finn’s shoulders, unconsciously tighten grip. His mind is blank. “That’s…” he manages to speak, but can’t go on. Suicide! his mind shouts but he can’t force himself to say.

Finn’s eyes are pleading, now. “This is why I didn’t want to tell you,” he whispers. “I know there’s so much risk. Poe, before you and I got out, I was a model trooper. I never even questioned the system, I just did what they told me. But the Force brought us together and you got me out, and now it’s time for me to pay it forward. If I could save just one of them, all of this would be worth it, but we have the opportunity to save all of them.” The firelight flickers against the tears in Finn’s eyes. “Poe, I am going to do this, whether you help me or not.”

Poe feels - like gravity has somehow been inverted, maybe. Or he mistook zeroes for ones, or confused some of the switches in his cockpit. The plan Finn is suggesting goes against everything he’s been taught since he joined the war but………

Gazing at Finn’s earnest face, while sitting in a village of rebel Stormtroopers, Finn’s plan feels overwhelmingly right. It feels right in a way that nothing has since the Resistance fled D’Qar, since his failure decimated the Resistance, since the remainder escaped Crait with nothing but the clothes on their backs and the fires in their souls. Poe can almost see the battle plan in his mind’s eye like he read it out of a book: the Resistance’s remaining pilots will do everything they can to distract the command crew while Finn and his team take down the tower and broadcast the revolution to the ‘troopers. If they can get just one star destroyer to surrender, it would turn the tide. If they can get just a few drop-ships of defected troopers, it’ll strike a blow. We are the spark of hope that will light the fire…

“Yeah,” Poe says, squeezing Finn’s shoulders to convey his seriousness, nodding slowly at first, then more emphatically as his mind grows used to it, “yeah, I’m in.”

Hope dawns across Finn’s face, growing into amazement.

“I’ll help you,” Poe says, and can’t stand it anymore - he pulls Finn in close and hugs him as hard as he can. Finn doesn’t hesitate to hug back, burying his face into Poe’s shoulder. Tears spring into Poe’s eyes and then he’s laughing and crying all at once. Finn starts to shake, then they’re laughing and crying together, holding on to each other as tightly as they possibly can.

“You promise to tell me next time you get an idea like this in your head?” Poe asks, buoyant with fear and hope and love, overflowing with it.

“I promise,” Finn answers, and hugs him even tighter.

[monsterhugger]

Y’know usually im in favour of leaving fandom weirdos be and not making fun of them but damn some of y’all were really determined to make the squid game tag a hellscape huh

[chamerionwrites]

@ everyone yelling at me in the notes of that one article about how America should prosecute its presidents: my position is that presidents/politicians/rich and powerful people generally should not be able to flout the law with impunity, and if you think I feel an ounce of affection toward any US president of any party...LOL.

[aro-aizawa]

i both love and hate how my writing style necessitates long ass chapters. 

[story-and-song]

me: hey write the cute fun fic idea you’ve had for like two weeks

also me, for some fucking reason: write hollis angst instead. make it gayer. listen to sad music while you’re at it and cry you fucking coward

[merlinsbed]

someone help me this fic will not stop like wei ying will not shut up about lan zhan and like don't get me wrong I'm writing some great stuff here but this is supposed to be a MORNING writing exercise I started this YESTERDAY I should be working on the next prompt JUST LET ME END THE FIC ALREADY

[sitp-recs]

You Either Fuck or You Get Fucked by @fw00shy

Harry/Draco (2021, Explicit, 2k)

“Except I'm not getting fucked." 

“I'm pretty sure we're both going to get fucked."

"That's right," Harry said, his voice still composed. "I knew. It's lucky I like getting fucked, you see. You thought you won, but you didn't. I win. I always win."

Ugh I had this idea of planning my recs instead of desperately putting them out as inspiration strikes but this time I couldn’t resist. I finished this fic 10 minutes ago. Then I reread it once, twice, until my tiny brain finally grasped how brilliant it is, and I could put into words how obsessed with it I am. I’ve been a big fan of fwoosh’s short form, particularly her fabulous smut, for a while now and yet every new piece still manages to blow my fucking mind 🤯

Guys. Guys. This ficlet is brilliant, jfc. It’s hot, scorching and unapologetically hot, and also so very witty and startling in a way. I was caught off guard by the tone and am now completely undone by the spectacular dialogue, the crude dirty talk that holds a careful balance between bickering and full-on humiliation, while slowly unraveling those two characters and their unusual dynamics right in front of our (and their) eyes. This is the hate sex fic I didn’t know I needed. Their unrelenting push and pull brings such a delicious combo of sharp words and gentle touches, in a disorienting mix of mid-fuck feelings of yearning and competition.

(Also - give me confident, nonchalant Harry getting his mean lines punched out of him by overwhelmed Draco anytime, pls and thank!!!)

Absolutely breathtaking and provocative, with the kind of banter that worms itself inside your brain and won’t leave you alone for the rest of the day. Top notch smut, 100/10. This rambling and chaotic rec reflects just how compromised I am by reading this, and this is a very poor yet heartfelt attempt to let @fw00shy know she’s one of the most brilliant writers I know. So grateful to be sharing this fandom with you!!

Read on AO3