#poe understands binary fight me

[tros-for-dinner]

[TROS re-write: in this version, the secret Finn has been keeping throughout the movie is that he doesn’t want to kill for the Resistance either, and he wants to save the stormtroopers. Poe remembers his failure in TLJ and his secret in this movie is he’s afraid he’s not a good leader and he’s going to mess up again. After freeing Rose (instead of Chewie) from the star destroyer, escaping by the skin of their teeth, and crash-landing the Falcon on Kef Bir (Endor’s moon, I had to look it up), the team meets the colony of escaped troopers and decide to spend the night recuperating.]

Poe finds Finn at a distance from the fire, staring at the flames without seeing them. Poe sits beside him on the bench, a strange apprehensiveness fluttering through him. He’s never seen Finn this withdrawn.

“What is it?” he asks quietly. His worry intensifies when Finn blinks back into the present, to Poe, then glances away. “We made it out okay,” Poe tries to reassure, making a stab in the dark. “We all made it out okay, Finn. You don’t have to keep worrying.”

Instead of replying, Finn sighs, heavily, and Poe is startled to see tears well up in his eyes. Automatically, he reaches out to grip Finn’s shoulder, try and provide some reassurance. Finn reaches up to grip Poe’s hand but still doesn’t look at him.

“Whatever it is, you can tell me,” Poe implores. It hurts more than he could have imagined when Finn still doesn’t look or move to speak.

“Can I, though?” Finn finally says, almost too quietly to hear. 

When Poe realizes what Finn said, his jaw drops and it’s on the tip of his tongue to retort - What is that supposed to mean?! - when a mirage of General Organa appears in his mind’s eye, glaring at him for being so undiplomatic in such a sensitive situation. He swallows down his retort and fishes at length for what he needs to say.

“All I know,” he eventually says carefully, “is that you need to talk to someone, and if you would be more comfortable talking to Rey, I will get up right now and get her.”

Finn sighs again, but it’s different. “No,” he says, and squeezes Poe’s hand, “you’re the one I need to talk to.”

Finn sighs again, shaking his head. “What do you remember…from Crait?”

There’s a lot of things he remembers from Crait, but before he can reply, Finn sighs again. “Rose said to me, after our failed bombing run, ‘we have to fight to save what we love’, instead of, you know, killing what we hate and…I’ve been thinking about that nearly every day.” He sighs and shifts in his seat to throw his head back and look up at the stars. “Have you ever talked to Rey about the Force?”

“Not really,” Poe says, trying to keep any negative emotions out of his voice. Religion isn’t really something he puts stock into, as a general rule, and it’s really unnerving to see objects move under unseen power when they’re supposed to be stationary.

“I don’t have the Force. Not like Rey does. But…” Finn trails off, visibly thinking. “The Force is like standing in a river: I can feel it pressing on me, swirling around me, but I can’t see the currents in the water.”

Poe blinks. “I thought you didn’t have the Force.”

Finn shakes his head. “I can’t control it like Rey can, but I can feel it. I always have but I didn’t know how to understand it.” For a very long moment, he doesn’t speak, then: “Getting Rose out, being on that Star Destroyer…I’d forgotten how bad it was but it all came rushing back.” Poe can see tears glimmering in his eyes again.

“How bad what was?” Poe asks, as gently as he can.

Finn shakes his head again, pressing his eyes shut. Tears run down down his cheeks, glinting in the firelight. “The air on the ship is just…unbearable. The misery. The…you’re surrounded by so many people but you’re so alone, all the time. They took everything from us: our names, our selves - and then our lives. They erased us so that only the armor remained. No one can live like that, and I can’t believe I’d forgotten how bad it was. I thought I was the only trooper that ever got out.”

“But you weren’t,” Poe anticipates, and Finn nods, somehow looking even more miserable than before. Poe doesn’t understand. “Buddy, you just gotta celebrate whatever wins we get! It’s great that Jannah and her group got out!”

Finn nods even as his face crumples. “You’re right,” he manages to get out, but then starts to cry in earnest. Poe throws caution into the wind and pulls Finn into an embrace; thankfully, Finn goes willingly and sobs into his shoulder, squeezing Poe tightly in his arms. Poe feels terrible - he’d been so upset Finn was keeping a secret from him just a few days ago. He had no idea Finn was holding on to something so heavy.

“Please tell me what’s wrong,” he pleads, so quietly that he knows only Finn can hear him, as his sorrow winds down and his grip lessens.

“I left the First Order because I didn’t want to kill for them,” Finn says, voice hoarse and cracking around unshed tears. “I can’t kill for the Rebellion, Poe. I can’t do it. I can’t…” he dissolves back into tears, and Poe rocks him like his mother used to even though he feels like Finn punched him in the stomach. Suddenly so much makes sense, and Poe feels terrible that he caused Finn to feel like this.

“It’s okay,” Finn manages to say, and it takes Poe a beat to realize he’s replying to Poe’s unspoken sentiment. “It took me a while to figure and I didn’t know how to tell you.”

“Finn, if you can’t tell your best bud something like this that’s eating you up, I’m doing a fairly crappy job,” he says, and that gets Finn to laugh a bit. “Okay, I’m taking you off gun duty, that’s no problem,” Poe says, even though that is a problem in the grand scheme of things. Maybe he can hook BB up to the gun on the Falcon - Rose and Finn said BB took over an AT-AT on the Star Destroyer to help them escape; bet that was a hell of a show…

Poe realizes that Finn has stopped crying but is now tense in his arms. Poe loosens his grip and Finn pulls away to arm’s length, not looking at Poe.

“That’s not everything,” Poe realizes, watching his reaction. When Finn doesn’t look at him, Poe takes hold of his shoulders and squeezes them gently, trying to hug him without pulling him close again. “Finn, whatever it is, I promise I’m not going to be angry. You are my best friend. I can’t help you until you tell me what you need.”

Finn doesn’t speak for a moment, then he exhales shakily. “I thought BB was your best friend,” he says, and it takes Poe a second to realize the non-sequitur is a joke.

He frowns at Finn even as a laugh is trying to bubble up. Jokes are a good sign. “BB may be adorable but best friend has been you for a while, buddy.”

Finn gives him a grateful - if watery - smile and reaches up to grip Poe’s hand on his shoulder. “I realized,” he says, looking down at his shoes, “when Rose briefed us on the condition of the fleet that taking down the control tower isolates the ships. While the number of ‘troopers has stayed the same, intelligence shows they’re going to skeleton crews as far as officers and command crew go. Isolating the ships from their neighbors would make sure that if something happened to the command crew, the ship would be dead in the water for as long as it took to get the command tower back online.”

Poe squints at him and has to search for a diplomatic response. “That’s the general plan, yes,” he manages to say without it being condescending, but Finn shakes his head.

“Poe,” he says, lifting his gaze to look at the man directly, “the full number of troopers is ten thousand on each star destroyer. Ten thousand troopers per ship, suffering cycle after cycle, and who knows how many looking for a way to escape. The Rebellion shoots them out of the sky without even offering surrender.”

Poe suddenly, viscerally understands what Finn is trying to say. “The command crew will never surrender,” his mouth says automatically even as his brain calculates the consequences of what Finn is implying, as if he was right back in the cockpit of his X-wing in the middle of a dogfight. It’s insane. It’s impossible. It’s something that has never been done before in the history of the Rebellion.

Finn looks him directly in the eyes and grips Poe’s shoulders in a mirroring gesture. “The command crew is outnumbered by troopers ten-to-one,” he says intently, not looking away even to blink. “Jannah told me today that the ‘troopers are still using the same private comm channels as before I got out. Poe,” he says, shaking the man in emphasis, “all we would have to do is cut the ship off, broadcast to the troopers, offer surrender, Poe…”

“How would we get the ‘troopers off the ship?” Poe asks, but he’s already calculated the answer. He closes his eyes. “If the troopers take over the ship, we won’t have to get them out. We just have to support them until we can get everything sorted out.”

Finn shakes him a little and Poe opens his eyes to look at him. “If only a few want to defect,” Finn says quietly, “there are drop-ships they can take out. But I was thinking something more ambitious.”

Poe raises his eyebrows incredulously, unable to verbalize the question. Finn looks right at him, a sort of steely determination mixed with palpable fear. “Me and Rey could break into the command center and force them to surrender.”

Poe’s hands, still on Finn’s shoulders, unconsciously tighten grip. His mind is blank. “That’s…” he manages to speak, but can’t go on. Suicide! his mind shouts but he can’t force himself to say.

Finn’s eyes are pleading, now. “This is why I didn’t want to tell you,” he whispers. “I know there’s so much risk. Poe, before you and I got out, I was a model trooper. I never even questioned the system, I just did what they told me. But the Force brought us together and you got me out, and now it’s time for me to pay it forward. If I could save just one of them, all of this would be worth it, but we have the opportunity to save all of them.” The firelight flickers against the tears in Finn’s eyes. “Poe, I am going to do this, whether you help me or not.”

Poe feels - like gravity has somehow been inverted, maybe. Or he mistook zeroes for ones, or confused some of the switches in his cockpit. The plan Finn is suggesting goes against everything he’s been taught since he joined the war but………

Gazing at Finn’s earnest face, while sitting in a village of rebel Stormtroopers, Finn’s plan feels overwhelmingly right. It feels right in a way that nothing has since the Resistance fled D’Qar, since his failure decimated the Resistance, since the remainder escaped Crait with nothing but the clothes on their backs and the fires in their souls. Poe can almost see the battle plan in his mind’s eye like he read it out of a book: the Resistance’s remaining pilots will do everything they can to distract the command crew while Finn and his team take down the tower and broadcast the revolution to the ‘troopers. If they can get just one star destroyer to surrender, it would turn the tide. If they can get just a few drop-ships of defected troopers, it’ll strike a blow. We are the spark of hope that will light the fire…

“Yeah,” Poe says, squeezing Finn’s shoulders to convey his seriousness, nodding slowly at first, then more emphatically as his mind grows used to it, “yeah, I’m in.”

Hope dawns across Finn’s face, growing into amazement.

“I’ll help you,” Poe says, and can’t stand it anymore - he pulls Finn in close and hugs him as hard as he can. Finn doesn’t hesitate to hug back, burying his face into Poe’s shoulder. Tears spring into Poe’s eyes and then he’s laughing and crying all at once. Finn starts to shake, then they’re laughing and crying together, holding on to each other as tightly as they possibly can.

“You promise to tell me next time you get an idea like this in your head?” Poe asks, buoyant with fear and hope and love, overflowing with it.

“I promise,” Finn answers, and hugs him even tighter.

[raehs]

a study in the personification of a dandelion (unapologetic, hard to kill, feral, filled with sunlight), found family, finding who you are, optimism despite your environment, fighting for what you believe in, the hero pays the price, dying and coming back wrong, growing up hungry, phantom limb syndrome.

#𝚁𝙰𝙴𝙷𝚂    --      private, selective,  low - sporadic  activity,  mutuals only, 18+ indie blog  for   𝐑𝐄𝐘  𝐎𝐅  𝐉𝐀𝐊𝐊𝐔   from  the  star  wars  franchise.  est, 2020. extremely canon  divergent post-tlj, semi-canon compliant, headcanon  based, anti romantic re.ylo, sequels critical with lots of inspiration from the dotf script. exploring themes of childhood trauma, ptsd, life during & after war, poverty. crossover + au friendly with prequels, empire, rebellion, order 66 survivor verses + verses in atla, supernatural + superhero fandoms, multiverse, modern, etc.

¹ CARRD. ‎‎     ‎ ‎ ‎ ² PLAYLIST. ‎‎     ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎³ PINTEREST. ‎‎     ‎ ‎ ‎ ⁴ SIDEBLOG. ‎‎     ‎ ‎ ‎ ⁵ MEMES.

regarding rey kenobi as that’s my canon for rey’s ancestry -- i won’t be assuming rey being obi-wan’s grandkid. i absolutely love rey as a kenobi but i know a lot of people aren’t into it (and rightfully so ur allowed ur own opinions about it !! ). but this typically would only come in when writing with obi-wan's. if rey isn't a kenobi, then there's no special parentage unless specified. ( overall i try not to put too much emphasis on it as rey is still their own person and even with rey having a special parentage they still just go by rey !! ) and ofc in prequels stuff she wouldn't be related to obi-wan unless there's plotting. [ currently considering scraping this and going back to just rey ! ty thats all ]

rey is audhd. she's also non-binary and uses she/they pronouns, but is generally okay with any gendered terms. they're fluid with it so i either alternate or pick she/her or they/them and stick to it for a thread.

interested in : rewriting tlj / tros, rey/mentors, rey/romance!!, finnrey, rey/prequels / post order 66, rey / the bad batch. rey/kylo (platonic), rey/luke / rey/leia rewrite (personally do not like what the movies gave us for rey + the twins + found it to be very disappointing -- tho i understand why it went that way for leia).

i've been very open about writing young rey in the past, however. i will be extremely picky about it. headcanons are great but i'd rather focus on rey's present + future.

I’M VERY CRITICAL OF KYLO / R*YLO. i love the potential for the dynamic but i’m not going to uwu-ify him if that makes sense! so you may find me talking about the toxicity of his dynamic with rey in this blog and me being critical of what canon gave us. i love writing with ben solo au’s though, and au’s where he turned to the light/grey as well as au’s where he never turned back. my blog is a safe place for people who write ben / kylo but be warned of any criticism i have for the character. i’m also quite critical of the sequels overall (yeah, i write a sequels character …..) so my blog will also have me being critical of the sequels at times. i try not to be too aggressive with it as it’s still something i love very much! currently writing up my major divergences for tros + will eventually do tlj.

regarding me being canon divergent: A LOT of the main events happened! i just have different interpretations of them. like rey + kylo fought palpatine but they fought them together, rey even died and came back. tlj happened mostly as is but there’s time in between tlj + tfa which is a little different. i also don’t fuck with rey palpatine or spice runner poe. i am semi - canon compliant bc i use a lot of the events as a jumping point.

you can also find me at @echoylir which is my multifandom multimuse ! lots of star wars canons + ocs + other characters.

[gloomybabygirl]

{in my head pt.2} Poe Dameron x smuggler!reader (soulmate au)

series masterlist 

last part  *  next part

a/n: hi everyone! I can’t thank you enough for all the love on the first part of the series!! I was actually super nervous to post it and had my friends beta read it an unhealthy amount of times, so the feedback I’ve gotten has been wonderful :) p.s. the series tag list is open, send an ask or message if you want to be tagged for the rest!

warnings: alcohol consumption, soulmate trope, poe not clearing his throat, cliffhanger, I haven’t proofread this yet 

timeline: I never established this so here we go! this is set between force awakens and last Jedi! so we’re still on D’Qar ladies, gents, and nb friends. however Miss Rey has not yet traveled to see Uncle Luke 

word count: 4k oops

songs used: mr. loverman - Ricky Montgomery & the chain - Fleetwood Mac (kinda? I just listened there's no singing in this part lol)

summary: you and Poe spend some time bonding, you go on your first mission 

You loved being apart of the Resistance. Waking up on D’Qar every morning was a blessing in your eyes. You had a purpose here. You’d never stayed on one planet for so long. Being on the run was your norm for the majority of your life. It was too dangerous for you to stay on one planet for too long (or stay in one region for that matter). The humid Jungle was the closest thing you’d had to a permanent home since you were a child. 

That is, D’Qar was the closet thing to a physical home you’d had in years. There was one person that had no trouble making you feel at home. You could be stuck in carbonite on a bounty hunters ship and hearing your soulmate’s voice wold make you feel safe. His sweet song felt like coming home to the warm embrace of a lover. 

But you hadn’t heard it in weeks. And it was starting to worry you. There had always been that nagging voice in the back of your mind telling you that he’d found someone else. But now that voice was trying to convince you of something much worse. You don’t know what you’d do if you’d spent all this time waiting for your person only to find out that something awful had happened to him. 

You’d rather find out he already belonged to someone else. 

You did your best to push the dark thoughts away, locking them in a box in the back of your mind. You couldn’t let yourself linger on the idea of him being dead or it would drive you insane. 

There were three people that did a magnificent job of keeping your mind off of all the negative thoughts. On days when it felt like the weight of the war was resting solely on your shoulders, your friends were the ones who could help you bear it. They were always there for a joke or a long talk, if that's what you needed. Of course you were there for them as well. It was the first time you’d allowed yourself to have people in your life that could rely on you. 

Days like today were your favorite. The weather was finally starting to cool down on the swampy planet, making the outside air somewhat tolerable. Everyone you loved was on base, safe and accounted for after a successful mission. Every time one of them left the base you felt as though you were holding your breath until they came back. But now, in Poe's small quarters with Rey and Finn, you felt the air return to your grateful lungs. Poe had devised a plan to hit up Maz’s on the way back from the mission and snagged a few bottles of jet juice, which you and the rest of the gang were all happily draining  in his quarters. The alcohol was just beginning to burn in your stomach and your head was the slightest bit fuzzy. You took your time soaking in the scene of your found family spread out on the cold permacrete of Poe’s room. 

Finn’s boisterous laugh rang out as his best friend finished telling every one about his adventure and a half to get the jet juice. Finn was especially fond of the tangy, red alcohol and was on drink number four down the hatch.

“Only you, Dameron,” Rey laughed to herself, gently taking the half full bottle out of Finn’s hands. His face of protest caused another round of laughter to erupt around the small room. He looked like a child that was denied a sweet by their parent. 

Finn fell back against the permacrete, his head making an awful hollow sound as it hit the ground. He didn't seem to feel it and decided the floor was his new best friend for the night. Rey got up from her position against the wall and began to pick up the empty bottles scattered around the room. 

“Looks like the jet juice served it’s purpose,” you commented, nudging Poe in the side with your elbow. Finn was now curling into the fetal position, trying to use a rug as a blanket. 

You had your legs resting over Poe’s strong thighs. He patted the side of your leg where his hand had been resting, carefully moving your legs off of him. “I better help him back to his room. Someone has to make sure he doesn’t end up running naked through the tarmac trying to fly an X-Wing,” Poe said. 

“I’d should head back to my quarters too,” you stood up to put your boots on, but Poe stopped you. 

“Actually, do you think you could wait here till I get back? I have something I want to give you,” Poe winked at you, helping Rey tug their friend to his feet.

You couldn't help the way your heart sped up at his words. And you definitely didn't miss the eyebrow raise Rey shot you from the door. 

“Yeah, I’ll just hang with BB-8 till you get back.” 

A low voice bellowed out from the door, “OOOOH HE GOT YOU A PRESENT! How romantic,” Finn was apparently trying to wake up the entire base with the way his voice was booming off the walls. You were sure he hadn't meant for that to come out so loud. Or to come out at all. 

Everyone went silent. You and Poe pointedly looked away from each other. His cheeks flamed red. You pretended to be preoccupied with the frayed laces on your Resistance issued boots. 

Rey looked between the two of you and then broke the awkward silence with: “Aaanyway, let’s get you to bed Peanut!” She sounded too cheerful, trying to reduce the awkward energy that hung in the room. Being force sensitive you could only imagine how she was perceiving the situation. She and Poe hauled their inebriated friend out into the hall, desperately trying to shush him as he was now singing. You hoped his poor soulmate wasn't trying to sleep. 

_ 

Finn clapped Poe on the back hard when they finally got into the drunk man’s room. Rey had helped Poe get Finn to his quarters but had dipped when Finn requested to be helped into his pajamas. They were close, but not ‘undressing one another’ close. Poe was itching to get back to his room and see you again, but he helped his buddy none the less. 

Finn was finally laying in bed when Poe turned to leave. 

“Are you okay?” 

Poe hesitated, then turned on his heel. “Yeah?” he furrowed his brow at the unexpected question, “Why?” 

“You haven’t been singing.” Finn was suddenly serious. 

Poe’s face softened when he realized what Finn was so concerned about. 

And he was right, Poe hadn’t been singing. It wasn't hard to miss, everyone on base noticed. The man who used to use every spare moment to sing to his soulmate had gone quiet. People actually missed hearing his voice all the time. Echoing through the halls of the base or out on the tarmac mixing with the whine of X-Wings taking off and landing. Finn wasn’t the only person worried about Black Leader. Leia had even mentioned something to her surrogate son a few days back. She enjoyed his singing more than anyone. She said it was a sparkle of hope during a dark time.

But the truth was, Poe didn't feel like singing. Guilt was the main thing keeping him from inflicting his voice on people whenever he could. How could he sing to his soulmate when he was fighting off feelings for someone else? He was doing everything in his power to stop you from being at the forefront of his mind all the time, but it was hard when your smile was his favorite thing to occupy his mind with. 

“I miss my lover, man.” 

He did. He missed his soulmate, whoever they were. He missed randomly hearing their soft voice humming through his mind. He missed the way he felt when he would sing to them. It was the closest thing he had to actually being with them, talking to them. He missed that he used to long for them. Lately that unconditional, blind love was being clouded by someone else. You. 

_ 

“Tell me more stories about your Dad.” You were sitting cross-legged on the floor across from where BB-8 was nestled in his charging station. He had been beeping and booping at you for the last half and hour as you waited for his father to return. 

The droid animatedly jumped into another anecdote about a recent mission he had gone on with his favorite person. He rattled around in his charging station, whirling his head around and beeping rapidly at you. 

“He did what?!” you asked the little orange droid as the blast doors flew open, revealing the man in question. You turned to face Poe, mouth still agape at the droids admission to you.

“Who did what?” Poe asked confused, walking into the room. The droid then decided he was done charging and rolled over to Poe for scritches. Poe kneeled down and gave his favorite little guy some love, looking at you for an answer. He laughed at the way you had your arms crossed and were giving him the same look Leia gave him when she found out he’d gotten into a dog fight.

BB-8 beeped adamantly at him. 

“Maker, Beebs, you told her about that?” He glanced nervously at you, only to find you were now trying to suppress a laugh. He was soothed by that damned smile that was burned into his mind. 

“Unfortunately for you, I can understand BB’s binary perfectly. Now I know why you have to work on your ship so often,” you teased. “You’re not exactly tender with her.” You were trying to keep up your facade of being angry with him for being reckless. You were failing, your smirk giving you away. 

Why did the fact that you understood BB-8 give him heart palpitations? His droid was absolutely going to get him into trouble with you one day. Apparently he can’t be expected to keep secrets. 

Poe ignored your jab and  walked over to sit behind you. 

“Close your eyes,” he demanded softly. 

“No, I don’t trust you. What kind of weird creature are you about to put on me?” you asked, twisting your torso to see him. 

He cocked his head at you, “Would you just have a little faith in me? I have something special for you.” He laughed. You narrowed your eyes at him but closed you eyes and turned around anyway, your smile growing bigger every second.

“Besides, if I was going to put a creature on you, I’d do it on front of more people,” he taunted. 

You laughed humorlessly at him, “Always the attention whore.” You heard him playfully shush you. 

Poe took a deep breath, silently grateful that you couldn't see the way his hands were trembling. He reached up and removed the silver chain from around his neck for the first time in years. He then carefully slipped it over your head and watched from over your shoulder as his mothers ring came to rest at your sternum. 

Deep breath. “Open.” 

You immediately turned toward him, a look of shock on your face.

“Poe what is this?” you asked, alarmed by the ring resting delicately on your collar bone. 

Poe's warm eyes held so much softness in them, you thought you would bust into tears right then. You turned to face him fully, confused as to why he just put this piece of jewelry around your neck. 

“A good luck charm,” he whispered, admiring the way it looked on you. 

“Is this the chain you wear every day?”

He nodded, still giving you that look that made you feel like the only person in the universe. 

“Then what's this ring?” The bottom of the silver chain was always dipped below his collar, if the ring had always been there, you’d never seen it. 

“It was my mother’s wedding ring. I wear it every day, take it on every mission, even sleep with it on. One day I’ll give it to my soulmate when I ask them to marry me, but for now it serves as a good luck charm for me,” He explained with a sad edge to his voice. 

You had become close with Poe Dameron in the last few months. While a large portion of that time was spent with Finn and Rey, you also had spent a few late nights just the two of you. He had a knack for making you laugh and you would often stay in his quarters long after the others had retired. Deeper conversations were far and few between, the two of you preferring to spend your time together in a fit of hysterics. It was strange to see this man so serious. There was no twinkle of mischief in his eyes tonight. 

You suddenly felt suffocated by him. His face was a mere few inches away from yours and you could feel his cool breath fanning across your face. His large hands rested on your knees, giving you a light squeeze and snapping you out of your haze.

“Poe are you sure you want to give this to me? I can't imagine how important it must be to you.” You reached up and stroked the smooth metal. 

“It’s the most important thing in the word to me. But I want you to have it for your first mission. Since I’m not going with you to help you when you accidentally shoot yourself in the foot, I want you to have a piece of me there with you. And what better to give you than my good luck charm?”

You felt your tears spill over, streaking hot and wet down your face at the sincerity in his voice. You couldn't believe he wanted you to have this piece of him with you. He was becoming one of the most important people in your life, and him sharing something so special with you meant the world. 

You were going down a slippery slope. If you weren't careful, you could fall in love with this man so easily.

“Poe, thank you. I don't know what to say,” you reached forward, pulling him into a tight hug. You nuzzled into his neck, letting the scent of leather and engine oil envelop you. He reached one arm securely around your waist and brought the other up to gently cup the back of your head. He took a deep breath in without meaning to, overwhelming his senses with you. He didn't want to pull away and had to hide his disappointment when you did. You kept your hands on his shoulders, squeezing slightly. 

“I promise I’ll bring it back safely so you can give it to your soulmate one day.”

_

The next few days were a whirl wind of meetings, briefings, more meetings, caf breaks, and did you mention meetings? You spent more time in the command room with your team than you did anywhere else. You forgot life existed outside the confines of the dirt walls.

But you were ecstatic that Leia trusted you with such an important mission so soon after joining the Resistance. Plus you couldn’t be more grateful for the people that were joining you for this mission. 

Finn was excellent for morale and a very smart man when he needed to be, unless of course he had jet juice in his system. Miss. Force-User Rey was always a good person to have on a mission. You brought a sense of craftiness to the crew, thanks to your smuggler skills. And Chewbacca was the only one (besides Poe) that Leia trusted to pilot the Falcon. Plus, he had a soft spot for smugglers, making you a new favorite of his. 

The one person you wished you could add to this team was Poe. His pilot skills would have been a great help to Chewie, he was talented with a blaster, and he was easy on the eyes. But he had a more important solo mission with BB-8 that Leia needed him on. He didn't make himself completely scarce though. He often came in and out of the Command Center, having his own mission to plan with Admiral Akbar. He made a point of bringing you caf every time too, he knew exactly how you liked it. 

You were terrified for your first mission as it was, but not having Poe there made everything ten times more dangerous in your eyes. 

The ring he had let you borrow was becoming a source of comfort. Whenever you got anxious about the mission you found yourself fiddling with it. The smooth metal was slightly worn in one spot on the band and you ran your fingers over it repeatedly to calm yourself. Something you caught yourself doing unconsciously on a number of occasions. 

The plan was simple. The Resistance had gotten word of an ex First Order official on the planet Ryloth, less than a parsec away from Tatooine. You and the rest of the crew were to go there and see what information the old Commander could offer you. Simple. But that didn’t stop you from needing to cover all your bases. Every single thing that could have possibly gone wrong had an escape plan to coincide. You were as prepared as you could be.

Your favorite part of the plan was your mode of transportation. As an ex-smuggler, you’d admired the Millennium Falcon and it's pilot for years. You’d heard every story surrounding Han Solo and his old piece of junk. Seeing it in person, let alone flying on it was something you’d never thought would be possible. But here you were, boarding the infamous ship. 

Finn and Rey brushed passed you, Rey laughing at the look of awe on your face as you were frozen in the doorway, the ramp hitting you on the ass as it closed.

You took your time walking around the hull of the Falcon. Taking a moment just to think about the adventures she’d been on, the places she’d seen. You laughed fondly to yourself as you remembered your favorite story. You reached out and placed a hand tentatively on the wall of the old ship. “So this is the ship that made the Kessel Run in fourteen parsecs?” you called out to your friends.

“Twelve,” Finn and Rey chorused from the cockpit, mixed with the indignant cry of your favorite Wookie. 

“Okay, twelve! Sorry, sorry,” you laughed and joined your friends in the cockpit. 

_ 

Poe was exhilarated every time he was in the air. There was nothing in the world that gave him the same feeling. This man was more comfortable in a cockpit than he was on his own two feet. If it were up to him, he’d never come down. 

But there was someone pulling him back to solid ground, like a magnet. Someone he couldn’t stop thinking about no matter how badly he wanted to exile them from his mind. He couldn't ignore your gravitational pull. He hadn't seen you in several days, you having returned from your mission two days prior. His mission was a success and he couldn't wait to tell you all about it. Leaving out the dangerous details that BB-8 was sure to fill you in on later. 

He was nervous to hear about how your mission went. It was a simple enough task, but he couldn't help but worry about you. He hoped his good luck charm was as comforting to you as it had been to him these last few years. He felt naked without it, this having been the first mission he hadn't taken it on. He found himself reaching up to stroke his finger across the band of the ring he had worn in from playing with it when he got nervous, but then remembering he'd given it to you. The idea that you were wearing a piece of him around the base made his heart leap in his chest. 

He was practically giddy when he leaped down from his X-Wing, already rushing to find you. 

Cool it Dameron, you have a soulmate waiting for you. 

Plus, he had to see the General before anything. Was he so clouded by his need to see you that he forgot he was fighting a war? 

A twinge of guilt hit him hard in the stomach, forcing him to take a deep breath and remind himself of the person looking for him somewhere in the universe. He let his feet take him down the familiar dirt path to the Command Center. The soft, damp earth caused his flight boots to sink slightly with each step.

He flooded his mind with images of what his future could be like with the person the galaxy had chosen for him. A small home on Yavin IV. Children he could teach how to fly the same way his mother taught him. A safe, quiet life with no threat of the First Order. No threats at all. He stored these images in the back of his mind for when he needed a glimmer of hope during the war. But lately he was using these daydreams as distractions from you. 

He stepped into he large room where Leia was addressing General Akbar and a few other pilots that had also just returned from a mission. 

When she caught sight of Poe her forehead created in confusion and she abruptly dismissed the debrief she was in the middle of with a wave of her hand. As they shuffled out of the room, several of them shot Poe sympathetic looks. 

What the hell was going on? 

“Commander Dameron, what are you doing here?” The General asked, walking over to him.

He hesitated, unsure as to why she was asking a question with an obvious answer, “I just landed from my mission, General. I’m here to debrief.” 

Leia dropped the General persona and gently caressed the pilots face, running her thumb over the stubble she resented.

She had always been like a second mother to Poe, and he like a second son to her. Their relationship was something special and unique. Something she thanked the Force every day for. However, her unexpected shift from serious Resistance leader to caring mother made Poe nervous. 

“I thought Finn or Rey would have been waiting on the tarmac to tell you.” 

Now he was starting to panic. What was he missing? What happened? 

“Come with me,” Leia softly implored, grabbing his calloused hand and yanking him out of the room. She tried to flood him with calm though the force connection she made with him, but his anxiety was too overbearing.

She continued explaining as she pulled him through the base, “The mission went south. There was no ex Order Commander on Ryloth. It was a set up. When they landed, there was a fleet of ‘Troopers waiting for them, ready to capture them and bring them back to the Finalizer for my son to interrogate.” She tried to keep her voice even for Poe's sake.

Poe was really panicking now, starting to pick up his speed. He squeezed Leia’s hand, begging her to continue. 

“They got out relatively unscathed. Chewie stayed on the Falcon so they were able to get away quickly. But Poe,” she stopped in her tracks, jerking Poe back to a halt. She looked him in the eyes, worried for what his reaction to her news would be. 

“Poe, the new recruit was badly hurt. They were shot in the side with a blaster and lost a lot of blood. They’ve been in the medbey unconscious for two days, but they’ll be okay,” she finished. 

Poe wordlessly turned and broke out into a run towards the medbay. Leia watched him go, knowing he needed to see you more than anything in that moment. She had felt a connection between you and Poe. She knew he wanted to wait for his soulmate, but she also knew that finding them was not likely. Part of her wished he would give in and let himself fall in love with you. Soulmate or not, she wanted him to be happy. 

[yelena-bellova]

Don’t Be Afraid: Poe Dameron x Solo!Reader - Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Sixteen: Team Effort

Series Masterlist

Plot: Finn and Rose lay out their plan for Poe and Y/n.

Warnings: one or two curse words, semi-graphic description of violence and injuries, angst with Poe fluff interspersed

Word Count: 4.2k

A/N: How I managed to write a 4.2k chapter based on a five minute scene, I have no idea lol. This one was really fun to write though. Enjoy!

—————

“Okay, just give it to me one more time, simpler.”

Finn and Rose, a maintenance worker I’d seen around base, had just laid out an extremely complicated plan of how we could escape the First Order. Poe sat in the center of the room while I stayed seated at my mother’s side. Parts of it made sense and others were harder to understand. Tech was neither of our specialties, I could make things float and Poe blew stuff up.

“So the First Order’s only tracking us from one Destroyer, the lead one,” Finn began explaining once again.

“So we blow that one up?” Poe inquired, his eyes lighting up as he looked between Finn and I. Case in point, tech wasn’t his forte.

“I like where your head’s at, but no,” Finn replied.

I chimed in, “You’ve blown enough up for one day.”

Finn continued, “They’d only start tracking us from another Destroyer.”

“But if we can-“ Rose spoke up, only for Finn to talk over her.

Finn stepped closer to Poe, motioning with his hands, “If we sneak on board the lead Destroyer and disable the tracker without them realizing, then we can-“

“They won’t realize it’s off for one system cycle,” Rose stepped forward, “About six minutes.”

“Sneak on board,” Finn said as Rose pulled up a holographic schematic of the Destroyer, “Disable the tracker. Our fleet escapes before they realize.”

I had my chin propped against my fist as I watched a hunched over Poe absorb the information. It wasn’t the craziest plan I’d heard all day and with Finn and Rose knowing their stuff, we could trust them to have thought each step through. Poe hummed as he contemplated while Finn stared hopefully at us.

“It actually makes sense,” I commented neutrally, there were still a lot to think over if we went through with this. The fact that we’d be going behind Holdo’s back being a prime example.

Poe rose and took a few steps in my direction before turning around and waving his finger between Rose and Finn, “How’d you two meet?”

The two of them looked at each other and judging by their faces, there was definitely a story to their meeting they were dancing around, 

“Just luck,” Rose answered innocently.

“Yeah? Good luck?” Poe asked, coming closer towards me.

“Not sure yet.”

“Poe, Y/n, we gotta do this,” Finn implored, “It’ll save the fleet and it’ll save Rey.”

Poe came and joined me next to Mom, looking between the two of us. He carefully slipped his hand over hers, the gesture warmed my heart. Poe had lost his mom at such a young age, I knew he had always seen Leia as that type of figure in his life. The possibility of losing her was a difficult weight for him to bear.

Loss. A concept I’d become overly familiar with over the past couple of days. Four days ago my mother was well, my father alive, our fleet secure and Poe never having left my side. Adding in the fact that Rey, Chewie and R2 were off who knows where and could be walking back into this mess, my anxiety had quickly blown through the roof. I needed to do everything I could to ensure my loved one’s and the Resistance’s safety, whatever that entailed. I inhaled to address Poe, but a different voice came out,

“If I may be the sole voice of reason,” 3PO interrupted, “Admiral Holdo will never agree to this plan.”

I looked back over to Poe and gave a half shrug, “We’re not going to come up with anything better.”

“Yeah,” he sighed and nodded, “You’re right, 3PO. It’s a need to know plan,” he turned around, “And she doesn’t.”

The protocol droid stammered, “That wasn’t exactly my-“

I stood up and went over to him, placing a hand on his metal arm, “3PO, I need you to go against every instinct you have right now. If you don’t trust them, trust me at least.”

“All right,” Poe agreed, strutting towards the table with the Destroyer holo projected above it, “You guys shut down that tracker, we’ll be here to jump you to lightspeed.”

“The question is,” I came to stand next to Finn, “How do we sneak the two of you onto Snoke’s Destroyer?”

“We steal clearance codes,” Rose suggested.

Finn shook his head, “No, they’re bio-hexacrypt and descrambled every hour. We can’t get through their shields undetected, nobody can.”

I chewed on a nail as I wracked my brain for anyone who could help us.

I snapped my fingers once it hit me, it seemed like Poe had just come to the same conclusion I had.

“Maz,” I declared, jogging over to the other side of the room and switching on the holoprojector. I punched in a few numbers and said a silent prayer that she picked up. The others crowded around me as we waited for her to answer,

“Do we know if she’s still on Takodana?” Finn inquired from my left side.

“No idea,” I replied, “It’s a long shot but if anyone could do it, it’s her.”

Just as I’d finished my sentence, Maz appeared in front of us,

“Baby Solo!” she greeted loudly, “I’m so glad to see you’re okay.”

“You too, Maz,” I smiled, “I wish I was calling under better circumstances but-“


“Poe Dameron! Alive and in love I’m assuming?”

I snuck a glance at Poe, catching the small grin he gave me, “Incredibly so.”


Finn awkwardly cleared his throat, snapping us back into reality, “Maz, we need your help.”

“Back in trouble again? So soon?” she replied.

Finn laid out our plan for her in detail, explaining her part in sneaking him and Rose onto the Destroyer.

“Could I do it? Of course I could do it,” she exclaimed as she adjusted a gun in her hands, “But I can’t do it. I’m a little tied down right now!”

Blaster fire echoed around her and caused us to jolt backwards, 3PO and BB-8 letting out exclaims.

“Maz? What is happening?” Finn asked.

“Union despite,” Maz ceased her fighting momentarily, “You do not want to hear about it. But, lucky for you, there’s exactly one guy I trust who can crack that kind of security!” Max rolled and dodged a few shots, “He’s a master codebreaker,” she loaded her gun again, “An ace pilot, a poet with a blaster,” she fired a few blasts confidently.

“Oh my,” 3PO said, “It sounds like this codebreaker fellow can do everything.”

“Oh yes,” Maz replied, a distant look in her eyes and her voice low, “He can.”

The four of us awkwardly looked at each other before she began speaking again,

“You’ll find him with a red plom bloom on his lapel, rolling at a high stakes table in the casino on Canto Bight.”

“Canto Bight?” Poe repeated, looking to me and Finn defeatedly, “No, no, that’s…Maz, is there any way that we can take care of this ourselves?”

Maz adjusted her goggles and began adjusting a device on her wrist, “Sorry, kiddo. This is rarified cracking. You wanna get on that Destroyer, I only know one option. Find the Master Codebreaker. And Baby Solo?”

I looked up to Maz as she sighed, “I’m so sorry about Han.”

I exhaled slowly and gave a hint of a nod, “Thanks, Maz.”

We parted with a goodbye greeting in an alien language and Maz flew off on a jetpack, the holo cut out then.

Poe looked distressed at the thought of sending Finn and Rose to Canto Bight, not that I wasn’t. But I’d seen Finn in action, he was undoubtably smart enough to navigate the situation just as he had on Starkiller.

Finn held out a hand towards Poe and I, a cloaked binary beacon resting in it. I was about to ask why he had one, when I remembered earlier in the day my mother had mentioned how she’d given Rey an identical one. It was how she would find her way back to the fleet. Once again, Finn’s personal stake in this was to protect Rey. That was his driving force. His eyes pleaded with Poe, who took it after only a few seconds of deliberation.

“Okay, we need to get you guys on an escape pod,” Poe said, “The problem is that you’ll show up on our radars.”
 
“So we need to have someone on our side on the bridge who will cover for us,” I finished his thought.

Poe ran through a list of names in his head, “Connix is our best bet. If you can make sure they get to the pod unnoticed, I can talk to her.”

I turned to Finn and Rose, “You two should probably take BB-8 with you as well, if Poe’s alright with it.”

This was probably going to be the most difficult part of the plan; getting Poe to temporarily part with his beloved droid. He looked down at Bee and let out a grunt of acceptance, “Yeah, he’ll be able to help you guys.”

“We’ll take care of him, I promise,” Finn assured Poe, he’d looked out for Bee once already and could do it again.

Whoa, do I get a say in this at all?

“Would you rather sit here with Poe and I and wait for the Destroyers to blow up the ship or take a trip to Canto Bight and help save the fleet?” I asked as I rested my hands on my hips

…I say I go with Finn.

“Good choice,” I replied before looking back to Finn and Rose, “Let’s get you guys in a pod.”

They nodded and the five of us, made our way out of the room.

“I’ll comm you when I get a hold of Connix,” Poe said quietly to me before we parted down different hallways. I gripped my communicator tight in my fist.

Once it was just us, I turned my attention to Finn and Rose, “Okay, how’d you two really meet?”

“I was going to take a pod to get the beacon as far away as I could. To protect Rey,” he answered.

I chuckled quietly as we turned a corner, “You’ll go to the ends of the galaxy for her, won’t you?”

Finn didn’t say anything, just kept his eyes focused on our path ahead. But I had no doubt that his cheeks had heated up at my comment.

“Rose, how do you play into this story?”

“I stunned him once I figured out he was trying to escape, I was planning to…” she trailed off, scared to finish her sentence.

“I don’t bite, I promise,” I said as we made our way through a quieter hall, nearing the escape pod bay.

“I was going to turn him in for desertion,” she replied meekly, probably worried I’d dislike her for the fact that she’d wrongly accused my friend.

“Attagirl,” I patted her shoulder and she cracked a smile, I already liked her.

The escape pod bay was never guarded and didn’t have anyone but maintenance workers in it typically. That’s why I was so surprised to see someone outside the entryway.

“I’ll handle this,” I whispered before taking the lead and strolling casually towards him.

“Commander Solo,” the young man addressed me confusedly, “What are you doing here?”

“I’m giving our latest recruit a tour of the ship,” I answered easily while gesturing to Finn, “Everyone is required to know where the escape pods are so if you wouldn’t mind letting us through?”

The man looked me over, disbelief written over his face, “On whose authority? Shouldn’t you be on the bridge?”

I raised an eyebrow, I was no stranger to dealing with young cocky recruits, “My own authority. Last time I checked, I outranked you. Now step aside.”

As I attempted to move around him, he stepped in front of me, “I think I’m going to have to call someone down to fact check your story.”

“To fact check my…?” I scoffed and pinched the bridge of my nose, how the hell was I supposed to get this guy to leave? An idea formed quickly, though I wasn’t thrilled about attempting it but there weren’t any other options.

I sighed defeatedly and slowly waved my hand in front of his face, “You will step aside and let us through.”

He tilted his head and chucked heartily, “What the hell was that?”

I shook it off and concentrated harder, repeating my movements, “You will step aside and let us through.”

“Y/n, what are you doing?” Finn whispered from behind me, I waved him off with my free hand. 

“Alright, I don’t know what weird shit you’re trying to pull, but it’s not working.”


Ignoring his comment, I silenced all other thoughts in my mind and focused entirely on what I wanted him to do,

“You will step aside and let us through.”

Like clockwork, the asshole straightened up and said, “I will step aside and let you through.”

I waved my hand again, this time more confidant it would work, “You will return to your quarters and…take a nap.”

“I will return to my quarters and take a nap,” he repeated, promptly leaving us and heading to his given destination.

My lips quirked up at what I’d accomplished, I’d never tried to use a mind trick on anyone. I’d heard about them over the years and my uncle had mentioned them in stories he told me as a child. As weird as I felt, invading someone’s mind and bending it to my will, it would come in handy in situations such as these. I’d have to add it to my arsenal. Shaking my head to clear it, I led Finn and Rose into the bay.

“So, are you going to tell us what that was?” Finn asked slowly.

“Jedi mind trick,” I answered, searching for the pods, “I’d never tried it until now.”

“Wait,” Rose gasped, “Are you a Jedi?”

“Not a Jedi,” I answered just as quick as when Poe had brought up the subject, “But I have a lightsaber, it’s complicated.”

“Whoa…” she said under her breath as we approached a pod, I entered a code in the keypad to authorize their departure.

“Solo,” Poe’s voice came through my comm, “You there?”

“What’s the word, Dameron?”

“We’re clear.”

“Copy that.” I replied.

The pod doors opened as I pressed a button, Rose was the first to climb in but stopped in the doorway,

“Thank you for helping us,” she said, “Not a lot of commanders listen to maintenance workers.”

“Don’t mention it, it’s people like you keep this whole operation going,” I replied with a smile, “You probably do more work than I do.”

With that, she grinned and entered the pod leaving me and Finn alone. We both let out a heavy sigh, neither one of us were fond of the idea of being split up. Especially with Rey already on the other side of the galaxy somewhere.

I embraced him bittersweetly, “You better come back in one piece.”


“I will,” he promised as he tightened his arms around my back.


Finn had quickly wormed his way into my heart, into Poe’s too. He fit perfectly in the Resistance and among us, there was no question as to whether or not he belonged here. The thought of him not making it back caused tears to spring to my eyes. It was crazy to think I’d only known him a few days when it felt like saying goodbye to a lifelong friend.

“Listen,” I pulled back to see his face, “I haven’t thanked you for what you did on Ilum. You saved my life and I…”

“Y/n, you don’t need to thank me for-“

“Yes, I do,” I interrupted, “I will forever be in your debt for what you did. You allowed me to come back to my mom, to Poe, to this fight. So yes, I do need to thank you, Finn.”


He looked so awkward accepting my gratitude, like it was one of his first times doing so. Then I remembered that the compliments Poe, Mom and I had paid him were probably some of the only ones he’d ever received. My heart hurt for him all over again.

“You’re welcome,” he replied with a sheepish smile before giving me another quick hug, “If you want to pay off that debt, just protect that beacon.”


“You know I will.”

We parted and the only thing left for me to do was kneel down and hug Bee, “Stay safe, it takes two of us to manage Poe.”

Keep him safe while I’m gone.

“Easier said than done, but I’ll try,” I laughed.

If Rey gets back before we do, will you tell us?

“Of course, buddy.” I said running a hand over his head, “If we made it through the past few days, we can make it through this.”

With that, Bee rolled away into the pod behind Finn. I gave them and Rose a salute just before they closed the door, sealing themselves off from me. Yeah, if we made it through Jakku, Rathtars, Takodana and Starkiller, surely we could make it through this…

I hoped.

——————

Poe and I met back up in my mother’s med bay room, he had returned before I did. 3PO was still standing faithfully at the computers, monitoring Mom’s vitals.

“Any change?” I asked as I came to stand next him to read the levels myself.

“Unfortunately, there has been no change in the Princess, Mistress Y/n,” the droid responded.

That was as close to an inside joke as 3PO was capable of. Long ago when the Resistance had been formed and Mom took on the new title of General, 3PO had a hard time stopping referring to her as Princess. He still did it on accident sometimes. I’d told him that if we were talking just him and I, he could call her Princess. I’d always loved the thought of my mother being royalty as a kid and the title was still comforting to hear.

“Okay, thanks anyway,” I sighed, walking away to pull my chair next to Poe’s. He was still positioned at her legs, watching her intently, waiting for any sign that she was awake. I sat down beside him and laid my head on his shoulder, looping my arms through one of his.

“Finn and Rose get away okay?”

I nodded gently, my eyes never leaving Mom’s face as I silently pleaded with her to wake up.

“Don’t you have things to be doing?” I inquired softly, “I’m the one that Holdo grounded, not you.”

He chortled quietly before sobering back up, “Not really, I’ll go check in with a few people in a bit. Other than that, this is where I’m supposed to be.”

I snuggled a little closer to him, as much as the chairs would allow. His devotion to me and Mom was nothing short of heartwarming, I appreciated him more than I’d ever be able to sum up in words.

Without realizing, my eyes had begun to droop shut and I let out a small yawn. The exhaustion of the past few days hadn’t worn off yet.

Poe kissed the top of my head softly, “Get some rest, I’ll wake you up if anything changes with her.”

I sleepily nodded and allowed myself to drift off, my last thought was an image of Finn, Rey, Poe and I sitting around a cantina table laughing about our separate and shared adventures.


———————

I found myself among the familiar flames once again.

The bodies were still strewn around me.

The thick smoke filled the air.

My lightsaber was clipped at my waist now.

A new single scream erupted this time.

I spun around and watched my younger self run to two bodies lying face down. She fell to her knees and wept over them,

“Mama! Papa! Wake up! Wake up!”

My heart broke at the gut-wrenching memory that was resurfacing, consciously and unconsciously. My parents death had faded over time till I couldn’t remember anything other than the tears I’d shed in the alleyway on Naboo. I hadn’t remembered finding their bodies or screaming their names. Not until now.

“Wake up, Mama! Wake up, Papa! Wake up!”

I cried forcefully as I watched the younger me lose her entire world. I began to stumble towards her just as a hand stopped me, pulling me back by my shoulder.


“Y/n,” the calm voice said, undoubtably the unidentifiable figure in brown, “Don’t be afraid.”

My sobs wracked my body as I continued to listen to the younger me wail, “I thought I wasn’t afraid anymore.”

“Don’t be afraid,” the voice repeated, I could hear it clearer than I’d ever been able to. I could have sworn that I’d heard it before in my life...

Just as the hand let go of me, a piercing red blade shot through my abdomen. The air in my lung drained instantly, the pain searing hot as the hole burned through me. As it was violently ripped out of me, I was turned around to face a maskless Ren. Just as I’d left him, blood trickled down the side of his face where Rey had cut him,

“Don’t be afraid,” he gritted out, “Of what you could be.”

I attempted to scream, but nothing came out. The only noise was the younger me crying out, “Wake up! Wake up!”

—————

“Y/n, wake up!”

I awoke gasping for air, Poe was knelt in front of me with his hands gripping my arms. After I’d blinked a few times, I could see there was concern etched deeply in his face. I was still panting relentlessly, trying to slow my breaths but failing miserably. I looked around frantically at my surroundings, we were still in Mom’s med bay room. Turning to her, she was in the same position she’d been in when I’d fallen asleep. Safe to assume there were no changes while I’d been out.

“You’re okay, I promise.” Poe whispered as I continued to try and catch my breath, “It was a dream, you’re okay.”

I ran my hands through my hair and placed my elbows on my knees, Poe’s hands slid down to hold my calves. He allowed me all the time I needed to calm down, but I couldn’t do so hunched over in a chair. I needed to move. I rose from my seat and walked quickly over to the window, trying to focus on the stars we were passing.


“Mistress Y/n, are you quite alright?” 3PO asked with concern.

“3PO, shh,” Poe reprimanded through his teeth.

I shook my head and waved Poe off, “It’s alright, I’m okay, just…a little shaken.”

“Can I be of service in any way?”

“No, but thank you, 3PO.” I replied, looking over my shoulder at the droid. He nodded and returned to his task at hand.

Poe hesitantly made his way towards me, I chuckled breathily at his caution and motioned him over. As I turned back to gaze at the stars, his arms wrapped around my waist and his chest pressed against my back. I leaned back into him, enjoying the warmth that seeped through the layers of clothing and how his comforting scent surrounded me. I laid my arms across his, my hands coming to rest on top of his. In the moments where I felt like I was free falling, Poe was the soft patch of earth for me to land on. I knew he’d catch me every single time.

“Do you remember your mother?” I asked out of nowhere, my breathing finally having calmed down.

“Yeah, not as much as I wish I did,” he answered wistfully, “My dad has holos of her back home, those help keep the memories alive.”

I hummed as I continued staring out the window, scouring every corner of my brain for a better memory of my family than the one I’d just been gifted. Nothing. I couldn’t remember my father’s smile, I couldn’t remember my mother’s melodious laugh. Not a thing. Just the blood seeping from their chests and my piercing screams.

“Why are you asking?”


“I don’t remember anything about my birth parents except their death,” I answered calmly, “I wish I could remember who they were.”

“Is that what your dream was about?” Poe craned his neck over my shoulder so he could look at me.

I nodded but was still too shaken to turn away from the stars, staring at them seemed to be keeping my panic at bay.

“I think…I think they may have been Force users,” I said.

Poe was silent for a few seconds, simply intertwining our fingers and rubbing his thumb over the back of my hand. He was probably searching for the right thing to say in a situation that was so new to him,

“How can you know that?” he finally asked, “Can you know that?”

I shook my head, “I don’t know, it’s just a…feeling. It was just a theory I had but for some reason after that dream, it feels very real.”

Poe dropped his chin to my shoulder and I rested my head against his. I had a sneaking suspicion that this might be our last moment of peace for a while. I tried to drink it in, savor it, because waiting outside this bubble we’d created for ourselves was chaos. 


“This plan has to work,” I breathed, “I couldn’t save my parents, I couldn’t save Dad, but I’ll be damned if I can’t save the Resistance.”

----------

A/N: And the plot thickens...I promise not to string you guys along for too much longer as to who the parents are but ugh, I love a good slow build. I’ve also figured out a schedule for chapters, tentatively there will be a new chapter every Friday. It could change and I could drop two chapters in one week sometimes but for now, every Friday.

Taglist: @m1rkw00dpr1ncess @springfox04 @constantdisgrace @holybatflapexpert @seninjakitey @tammythompson-singslikea-muppet @leilei-draws @eternal-fandoms @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @imaginecrushes @eternallyvenus @thescarletknight2014 @simplybarnes @captain-america5 @breyasficletblog @caseymcflurry @stumbleonmywords @april-14-blog @i-ievu @ultrunning @desperatelytryingtosavemyself @caswinchester2000 @meraki-loki @lovinnholland @wishing4wishes @fruitloopzzz

Star Wars Permanent Taglist: @paintballkid711 @katrynec @caswinchester2000 @theliterarymess

[damn-stark]

Crossed Stars Ch.2

Marvel x Star Wars crossover

A/N- I like how this turned out and I’m excited to keep writing for this story, thanks to everyone for all the nice feedback on the previous chapter, I love you all!! As always leave your thoughts!!

Warning- light swearing, angst, slow burn, mentions of violence

Pairing- Steve Rogers x reader, Poe Dameron x reader

Takes place during- the first 20 minutes of endgame

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

———

“Now that we told you who we are, it’s your turn.” The blonde women repeated.

You exhale deeply, “People looking for answers,” you answered as you slowly lowered your blaster.

“In war ships?” The little sentient interjected.

You shrug, “we’re desperate.” You hang your blaster back in your holster and rest your hands on your hips, “now explain what you did to our people, before we have to use those war ships. And trust me you don’t want to see what happens when they’re used.”

“We don’t who you are or what you’re talking about.” The blond women spoke again.

“First tell us what you did, and then we’ll consider introducing ourselves.” Dameron spoke as he lowered his own weapon, “people from our galaxy disappeared. We want answers not a war.”

The Avengers looked to one another and seemed to share the same grim expression, one your crew and you shared too. The man that seemed to be the leader turned to all of you with a frown, “it looks like we’re on the same team. Our people disappeared too.” He sighed, “we don’t want a war either, so if you all want, you’re all welcome inside, we have the answers you’re looking for.”

—

“Are we sure we trust them?��� Commander Zuko asked in a low whisper.

“What choice do we have? If they wanted to fight they would’ve fought the moment our ships came out of hyperspace.” You explained in the same whisper, “we have to at least hear them out.”

Dameron nodded, “y/n’s right, they say they have answers, let’s just hear what they have to say.”

“What if this is a trap?” Commander Zuko kept probing, causing you to sigh and mentally roll your eyes.

“Then we’re dead.” Jessika answered sarcastically.

Commander Zuko scoffed, as you held in a laugh before finally joining the Avengers around the holographic computer that displayed the map of the planet, with numbers that only increased by the second...much like the one at home.

In fact a lot of stuff so far seemed to be the same from where you were. You expected a lot of stuff to be different, considering that you’ve never knew of this galaxy, but so far a lot of stuff seemed the same, even the human and their ability to speak basic. But then again you haven’t left the perimeters of this place, only seen it from the sky before you landed, and as far as you could tell it was a much better looking Coruscant.

“Before we begin to explain what happened, I’ll introduce myself,” the leader began as his eyes examined the group, “I’m Captain Steve Rogers.”

You smiled shyly and introduced yourself first, “I’m General Y/N L/N.” Captain Rogers turned his eyes to you, returning the smile and holding your gaze for a lingering moment before Dameron quickly interrupted it.

“I’m General Poe Dameron.” He introduced, shooting Steve a very discreet glare, the rest of the people you came here with introduced themselves thereafter, leaving the rest of the Avengers to do the same.

The blond women introduced herself as Natasha, and the droid that actually turned out to be a man in a suit was Colonel James Rhodes. A smaller man in a loose suit jacket was Dr. Bruce Banner, while the man sitting queitly in the corner was Thor, leaving the little sentient as Rocket.

As you were going to start the awaited conversation you felt a sharp poke on your side and as you looked down you saw an offended Artoo. “Ow! Yeah sorry.” You turned back to the Avengers and sighed, “this is Artoo, my droid, and the ball over there is BB8.”

“Your droid?” Captain Rogers queried as he put his hands in his pockets.

“Yes.” You smiled, “You don’t have any?”

“No.” Natasha interjected in a confused way.

“Interesting.” Rocket commented with a hidden smirk.

“Anyway focusing back on why we’re here.” Commander Zuko added, completely dropping the subject from before, “we need answers.”

Steve sighed, “You might want to take a seat.”

—

Understanding what happened was confusing and hard to hear, they barely seemed to understand. But apparently the cause for everyone’s disappearance was because of a mad Titan called Thanos had powers, stones, that he used to wipe out half of the population all over the universe. Supposedly because “the universe needed correction.” That he did this because it was needed and that everyone should be grateful. But everyone was feeling everything but that.

The Avengers didn’t even know that the stones affected everyone that far, in fact they didn’t even know the galaxy stretched that far. And disappointingly enough they had no way to bring everyone back, they just like you were victims of the snap.

“So theirs no answers? No way to bring them all back?” You continued to ask, hoping that in that second something would come up.

“No..we’re still trying to figure that out,” Captain Rogers answered with a sad look, tears of his own seeming to pool his eyes as he recalled the memories of what happened, “but it’s hard, we’re hoping that the people we’re looking for have answers.”

You wipe your tear that slipped out and keep your eyes downcasted to avoid any questions or pity from those around, so far you’ve been holding in everything, just hoping that their will be answers.

“We have to find that monster.” Commander Zuko asserted, “he’s the one that did all of this, he’s the one that’s going to have answers.”

“Sure.” Rhodey shrugged, “do you know where he is?”

“Let’s find him.”

“That’s what we’ve been trying.” Rocket remarked. “But we have nothing, we have to wait.”

Everyone grew quiet, awkward silence surrounding the room for a long while before Natasha thankfully broke it. “If you promise not to try and kill us, we can work together. After all we’re on the same team, we all want our people to come back.”

Your group all shared a look, one that seemed to express the same, one that didn’t need words. “We just got out of a war ourselves,” Dameron began, “we don’t want another one, so yes we agree to work together for a solution.”

Captain Rogers got up from his seat and nodded shaking each of your hands in agreement before he added something else, “you’re all welcome here, theirs room for all of you. I imagine it was a long trip, so if you all want, Natasha and I can take you guys to where you can stay.”

“Thank you, Captain Rogers.” You smiled, one that was a little more forced than the one before, but still was meant to be genuine, even after the disappointing answers provided today. All you wanted was your family back and you still had hope, you were still holding on to that. Which is why you didn’t want to accept that they were really gone, why you avoided expressing any tears now...even if at first it was all you could do.

Being here though was an excuse to avoid those feelings, an excuse to stop being sad, focus on the glimmer of hope these people gave you...they never gave a clear answer to a solution, but you were too stubborn to not think their might be one.

—

“No don’t be ridiculous, Rocket is not going to eat you Artoo.” You chuckled, before he beeped a series of complaints thinking otherwise, making you laugh that much more at your droids dramatics, “or take you apart for parts. I promise I won’t let him get close to you.” The little droid sighed in relief and let the calm morning silence engulf you once again.

It had been the morning after your arrival to this strange little planet, and sleep was something you couldn’t get, so you decided to watch the sunrise what seemed to be hours ago. Much to your disappointment their was only one sun. You missed tatooine’s binaries suns, as hot as they were when they hit your skin on those long days you still missed them.

Being here didn’t feel like home, as pretty as this place was, as green as it seemed and as clean as the air smelled—not like the one compared to Coruscant’s stuffy and nasty polluted air, this just wasn’t home. Hopefully though you were going to go home and be back with the friends you called a family.

“Hey.” At the sound of a distant voice and approaching footsteps you turned slightly to find Dameron approaching you.....you should’ve known— without sparing him a second glance you turned back to admire the blue lake in front of you.

“General Dameron,” You muttered.

Dameron sighed at the sound of what you called him as he sat at your side, “you still with that.”

“With what?” You questioned innocently as if you didn’t know what he was referring to.

“Titles...” he answered, “we’ve known each-other for too long and know each other too well for you to continue with that.”

You shoot him a side glare making both droids roll away to avoid hearing the arguing they suspected would happen, but all you did was ignore his comment which only got him annoyed.

“What about six months ago? Titles to you were irrelevant then.” Dameron grumbled under his breath, purposely making sure you heard him.

Your eyes widened and you turn to shoot him a burning glare, “I told you to forget that.” You seethed, hiding the heat you felt rise on your cheeks. “what do you want?” You hiss, completely changing the subject before he could ruin the morning even more.

He stayed quiet for a moment, regretting the remark he had made moments ago. You already disliked him enough and he felt like he only made it worse. “Just came to check how you were doing...I’m sorry about—”

“I’m fine.” You huffed as you cut him off before crossing your arms over your chest, “you can leave now.”

Dameron let out a silent “oh” sound before he shuffled to his feet, his shoulders dropping and a long frown showing on his lips. A look that made you sigh—he had lost his friends too...not just you and all you’ve been was a complete bitch that just ignored his feelings for this whole situation. “Poe, wait...” you called making said man stop at the sound of his name. “I...miss them.” You say in a hushed tone.

He hesitated for a moment, letting out a shaky breath before he sat back down at your side, “I miss them too.”. Tears filled your eyes, but again you couldn’t let yourself feel upset, so you swallowed back your tears and dropped your head to hide your emotions from him as he continued, “do you think their will be a solution?” You furrowed your eyebrows at his question, something he noticed and continued to explain himself, “I just mean it’s a monster with powers that we can’t fight, and that we don’t know anything about.” He pauses for a moment not sounding like the man you knew, “we can’t use the force like Rey could....we’re just pilots.”

“What’s so wrong with simply being pilots? We were just pilots when we defeated Starkiller base and Palpatine’s fleet.” You reminded him, hoping that your words would ease him or encourage him—something that came easy, but also something you didn’t expect to do. However you felt though, saying those words made him show a small smile. “Plus, we need to have hope that their will be a solution, that we will get them back. Because we are.” You didn’t know what you would do if you didn’t find one.

“You’re right,” he nodded, sounding somewhat more hopeful than before and as he was going to continue, the sight of Captain Rogers caught the attention of the both of you—yours more than his, causing him to drop what it was he was going to say as the captain approached the both of you.

“Good-morning, General L/N, General Dameron.” He showed a kind smile before he showed the same serious look since you arrived here.

“Good-morning, Captain.” You replied with a soft smile.

“Morning.” Dameron answered, more insincere than you, mostly because he noticed the way you so easily smiled at the Captain and seemed not tear your eyes away from him since he got here.

“We invited your other friends for breakfast, I just wanted to ask the both of you too.” Captain Rogers explained, “but if you want to eat breakfast together then you’re welcome to do so.”

Quickly you dismissed his insinuation about Dameron and you, “no, no we’ll join the rest of the group.” You answered with a small nod before he motioned for Dameron and you to follow him. Albeit Dameron stomped behind, while Artoo joined you as you walked at Steve’s side. “You’re little planet seems nice..as far as I have seen,” you continue, “it’s a shame that we only just discovered of your existence,”

“Really?” He questioned curiously. “Why is that?”

Artoo answers for you with a witty remark, making you laugh and agree with him, “like the droid said.”

Captain Rogers only looked more lost, his face expressing all kinds of confused emotions. “You understand it?”

You quirked your eyebrow in amusement, “yes, do you not?”

Captain Rogers simply shook his head.

“Well to put it nicely, he said it’s because you’re galaxy is irrelevant...until now of course.” You simply shrug. He chuckled lightly before silence took over for a moment, that was until you broke it, “You can call me y/n by the way, the title is not needed.”

He smiled a genuine smile, “okay, y/n, you can call me Steve.”

——

It had been a quiet couple days since your arrival, no solutions yet, just waiting. Waiting for their people to be found for a clear answer and waiting for a location, just simply waiting for something to happen. Something you were able to do, all because that’s what you could do, what distracted you from the ugly truth you didn’t want to accept.

Talking and meeting the people that were letting you to stay in their home, letting you help was slow, but understandable, nobody seemed to be in the mood for long conversations, or simply conversations at all. Everyone was still too badly affected and hurt by the events, by the loss of everyone you all knew. The people you talked more too were the ones you came with, mainly because you didn’t want to get close to people that you weren’t going to see after this was over and you had found something.

That still didn’t mean you could talk about them though, mainly one person in particular, “would it be wrong to say that I think that Captain Rogers eyes seem to shine like blue kyber crystals?” You mused as you lay next to Jessika on the grass.

Jessika shrugged with a smug smile, “You’re not wrong.”

“Neither of you have seen a blue kyber crystal.” Dameron grumbled with a hint of jealousy seeping through his voice.

“False.” You pointed, your smile faltering at the memory, “Rey....showed me one before and they match his eyes.“ you pause and your grin widens, “plus his eyes aren’t his only good feature. His beard is great too, I like a man with a good beard like his.”

“He can pull it off,” Kará followed, “but Thor can pull it off better.”

“True.” Jessika agreed, all while Commander Zuko and Dameron scoffed in annoyance. Jessika noticed and turned to the boys with a mischievous look, “Poe it’s okay if you have a crush on Natasha, you’re single, theirs nothing wrong with it.”

Your smile slowly began to drop after Jessika’s comment, your eyes shifting from Dameron and Jessika as you awaited for his answer. An answer you never received or were going to as Commander Zuko interrupted. “This mission is serious we’re not here to act like children.”

The girls and you all shared the same annoyed look before you remarked, “lighten up commander, it’s harmless fun.”

“Fun, General? Half of our galaxy disappeared and you’re having fun?”

You swallowed thickly, anger completely replacing the little amusement you had felt before. “Yes I know that, we all do, but we can’t just sit and cry. Not when theirs a solution, hope.”

“Might. Their might be one.” He corrected you, infuriating more.

“No. Their is.” You replied defensively.

Just as he was going to argue back the ground below you shook, causing all of you to stand up and be on guard immediately as you looked to the night sky. Finding something glowing, something that seemed to be a person carrying a ship down to the ground.

All of you turned to each other before rushing towards where the ship had seemed to land, finding that the avengers had noticed the same thing and waited. None of them had weapons pointed to the women or the ship, not like when you landed, in fact they seemed to be relieved. Letting you come to the conclusion that the fragile looking man, and the sentient women that came out of the ship were the ones they were waiting for, they were the people with the answers.

—

What could you do besides listen? Their was no need for you to input anything into Steve’s and the fragile looking man you now knew as Tony Stark argument. They have a complicated past and their was much more hidden in his words than just simply about what went on. Anyway if you did happen to want to add something, you had the feeling you would be shot down immediately...by that same fragile man, so to avoid any more stress to the situation you and the rest of your crew just listened and took in the occasional weird looks you would get from Tony.

It wasn’t until the sentient women named Nebula, said she had a location, a more hopeful answer to a solution that your crew and you finally decided to join the conversation without it feeling like you were intruding.

“Thanos spent a long time trying to perfect me. And when he worked he talked about his Great Plan. Even disassembled, I wanted to please him.” Nebula explained as she tried to hide the emotions she felt of this situation, “I’d ask, where would we go once his plan was complete? His answer was always the same, “To the Garden.”.”

You sit back in your chair, and listened to what Rhodey had to say, “that’s cute. Thanos has a retirement plan.”

Dameron walks to stand behind you and asks the more important question, “so, where is he?”

Rocket followed by clicking something that sparked a holo-map to life, “when Thanos snapped his fingers earth became ground zero for a power surge of ridiculously cosmic proportions.” The map of earth displayed what rocket explained, shooting off a powerful wave of what affected even your galaxy, “no ones ever seen anything like it. Until two days ago,” the map then changed, enhancing more on the planet you needed, “on this planet.”

You narrowed your eyes to look at the map in front of you as Nebula added, “Thanos is there.” Hearing that made you feel more hope than ever before. The fact and knowledge that their was finally something, a long awaited answer to your long search and problems felt like a sign that it was going to work out.

“He used the stones again.” Natasha mused as she studied the map.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Dr. Banner chuckled an unamused laugh, “we’d be going in short handed, you know?”

“Look, he’s still got the stones, so,” Rhodey interjected,

“so, let’s get em.” Carol quickly interrupted.

You stand to your feet and nod, “agreed. Let’s do it, we can use them to get everyone back.”

“Just like that?” Dr. Banner questioned unconvinced.

“Yeah. Just like that.” Steve agreed.

Natasha commented, “even if their is a small chance that we can undo this I mean, we owe it to everyone that’s not in this room to try.”

“If we do this, how do we know it’s gonna end any differently than it did before?”

“Because before you didn’t have me.” Carol quickly responded to Dr. Banners question.

“Or us.” You add confidently.

“Hey, new people.” Rhodey remarked, “everybody in this room is about that superhero life.” He turns to Carol to direct his question to her, “and if you don’t mind my asking, where the hell have you been all this time?”

“There are a lot of other planets in the universe. And unfortunately they didn’t have you guys.” Carol shot back, making you hide your smile at her words. But it also seemed that you weren’t the only one who payed attention to her remark. Thor had too, and it wasn’t until the point when he stood up just now that you remembered he was here too—but unlike you he didn’t seem to enjoy carols remark, going up to her with a serious face and studying her intently.

All until he extended his hand to summon an axe to it, following by misleading you and everyone in the room with a compliment, “I like this one.”

“We’ll provide our fleets and the squadron.” Commander Zuko added as he walked up to the table, getting approving looks from the avengers and your own crew, all before Steve confidently stated something you all agreed too, something you couldn’t help but smirk to.

“Let’s go get this son of bitch.”

—

“All fighters prepared for jump to hyperspace?” Dameron voiced through the comms, as you and the squadron waited at the side of the Avengers ship.

“Yes.” You responded before trailing off to talk to Artoo, “You got it all ready, buddy? It’s a short ride from here and the other planet.” Artoo responded with approving sets of beeps all before he commented something that made you roll your eyes in a lighthearted way, “you are so right, I would be nowhere without you.” You chuckled softly, before securing your helmet, “now you ancient droid, get ready to jump in 3...2...1.” As you mouthed the last number, Artoo not failing to listen jumped to hyperspace.

Even if it was a short ride compared to the one you made to get to earth, and even if you had been in hyperspace millions of times, your breath still got taken away at the sight of the passing colors, and it was something that you were never going to get tired of.

Seconds after arriving, Carol came over the comms, “I’ll head down for recon.” their was no need to wait too long or have the option to join her as just minutes later she flew back up...in an odd and amazing way, no helmet or pack to fly down, just her and her...abilities. Yet something else that left you in awe. “No satellites, no ships, no armies, no ground defenses of any kind. It’s just him.”

That was weird...someone with powers he had would be protected at all costs, not just alone, unless he—no, it’s as Nebula said before, he’s just retired...right?

“I don’t trust that,” Dameron commented what you were thinking. “He can’t just be alone.”

“But he is.” Carol responded.

You gripped onto the handles of your stirring wheel letting out a deep breath, “I agree with Dameron...we shouldn’t trust him. We’ve faced problems like these, we need to take precaution. For now the fleets are going to be on standby, but the squadron and me will fly down first.”

The avengers hesitantly agreed with what you had said, all while the small squadron you had came with didn’t bother to think of the answer, they all simply agreed,

“We’ll follow your lead, Red.” Jessika informed you, making you smile and rapidly move forward and into the planet. And of course the planet had to be beautiful, breathtaking even, damn shame such a horrible monster lived in a planet such as this one.

Artoo soon beeped in with important information, one that proved carols previous statement about Thanos being alone. And however correct it was, it still wasn’t going to ease you, in fact that kept you more on guard and even got you scared. The more you got closer to where Artoo had found him in the scanners the more scared you seemed to get.

As you caught sight of the little hut in the middle of nowhere you knew that was him, you were now closer than to ever to the solution, to getting back your family. With that in mind, you quickly agreed to blowing up the hut to surprise attack the Titan living inside. “Target on lock, get ready Carol.” Your thumb ghosted over the blasters button, something you didn’t give a second thought to press. Exploding the hut in sight, feeling proud and happy as you did it, all before you quickly flew past it and landed a few feet away from the other landing ships.

As soon as you landed, you jumped off your cockpit and followed after the remaining avengers, Natasha and Steve to head towards the problem, with Dameron quick to fall by your side. Just as you were going to comment on it, you kept your mouth shut. One, even if you told him that he should stay behind he wouldn’t listen and two...well this was his fight too and you had no right to tell him to stay...in fact and something you were too proud to agree too, you were relieved and glad he was by your side.

Dameron was familiar and you trusted him and all you needed in a space full of strangers was someone familiar, someone you trusted and again something you could never admit, he was someone you felt safe with. And as you heard screaming coming from the hut, you were anything but angry he was by your side.

“Oh, no.” You look down after Rockets upset whisper, noticing the gauntlet that you figured was what you were looking for. Only nothing was there, no stones, just a burnt and melted gauntlet with evidence that something you couldn’t dare think about happened.

“Where are they?” Steve asked the man you knew was no one other than Thanos, it was evident, he was the one in a headlock and with burnt scars on half of his face that matched the gold gauntlet.

“Answer the question,” Carol snarled as she tightened her hold on his throat.

“The universe required correction,” Thanos groaned, making your eyes water and your whole confident demeanor drop at the sound of words, knowing that what he was going to say was going to be nothing you wanted hear. “after that, the stones served no purpose beyond temptation.”

Poe met your saddened gaze, his look reflecting your own, tears of his own held within. Yet as you knew what Thanos answer meant, you were stubborn to accept it, they couldn’t really be gone.

“You murdered trillions!” Dr. Banner shouted as he shoved the Titan to the floor.

“You should be grateful.” Thanos dared to say, causing Dr. Banner to go in for a nasty kick to his face.

Carefully you moved towards Thanos, blinking back tears as you spoke up, “where are the stones?”

Thanos looked up to you with a cold and knowing look, before saying what you knew he was going to say, “gone. Reduced to atoms.”

Your breath caught in your throat, tears finally slipping out as you heard the truth you had been ignoring, a truth you didn’t accept before.

“You used them two days ago!” Dr. Banner pointed out.

Thanos lifted his head higher and looked to Banner, “I used the stones to destroy the stones. It nearly killed me. But the work is done. It always will be.” He pushed himself up higher, “I am inevitable.”

Poe shook his head and stepped to your side, “h-he has to be lying.”

“My father is many things.” Nebula interjected in a upset voice, “a liar is not one of them.”

With that everything just shattered within you, all hope, everything just broke, all efforts to hold yourself together slipped. In order to not show it in front of everyone, you stumbled away from the group and fell to your knees in the field in front of what used to be a hut, dropping your head on your hands as your shoulders shook as you began to sob.

They were gone, every single person from your galaxy, those you had promised to protect were gone. Rey, Finn and Chewbacca were gone. Really gone, and their was nothing you did to bring them back, nothing you did to stop it....what were you going to do now?

You broke away from your thoughts as you felt someone grab your shoulders. Instantly you lifted your head and already had a hand on your blaster, only to drop it back in your holster as you noticed that it was Poe knelt in front of you.

“Th-their has to be something, something we can do from home.” You stammered quickly, making him frown, his tears finally rolling down his cheeks before he cupped your cheeks, “they-they can’t be gone....Poe.” Said man was surprised you hadn’t pushed him away, that you let him hold you for so long, but it was also something he didn’t point out or mind. You needed the comfort, you both did.

He tucked loose strands of hair behind your ears before sliding his hands back to continue cupping your cheeks. “They’re gone y/n, we can’t do anything about it. We have to go home now.”

“No, they’re not gone. I-I know you don’t believe that.” You cried before he pulled you in for a hug, a hug you returned and eased into.

“I have to...even if I don’t.” Poe whispered, his voice breaking before his shoulders started shaking as he cried at the truth. One you couldn’t accept. Their had to be something you could do. You couldn’t accept that you failed, that their was nothing. You couldn’t go home, you had to do something.

You were going to do something.

.

.

.

.

Tagged- @itsbuckyb1tch​​​, @kaitlynw011​ , @blushingwueen​ , @80sthottie​ , @thescarletknight2014​ , @bbuckysbeardd​ , @ellvswriting​ , @sakurashortstack​ , @whatthefrickfrackwereyouthinking​, @danicalifxrnia​ , @lanatheawesome​ , @perryoncw​ , @panic-onthegroundsofbrooklyn​ , @abysshaven​ , @valeecruz16​ , @gummy-bears16

Permanent taglist- @ms-dont-care​​​

[summahsunlight]

Perhaps It’s Fate, Part 19

Rating: T, to be safe

Word Count: 1.5k

Summary: After joining the Resistance as a mechanic, you were happy to keep to yourself, until a little orange and white bb unit and his master wander into your workshop one day.

Pairings: Poe Dameron x Mechanic!Reader

Taglist: @ms-dont-care​, @starless-eyes-remain​, @elmoakepoke​, @marvelobsessiononastick​, @kiaralein​, @softly-sad​, @totalpoedameron, @ordinarymom1​, @sevvysaurus​, @spider-starry​, @liadamerondjarin​, @jingyuhearteu​, @dream-alittlebiggerdarling​, @paintballkid711​

It’s here! The next part! Hope you enjoy it. I’m excited for you to be able to read it!🥰 Remember if you want to be added to the taglist, just let me know!

Leia could tell you were nervous. You had never left the base before to complete a mission and now you were being asked to sneak on board the Supreme Leader’s ship to crack a code.  

But first the Resistance needed to obtain codes to get through the Supremecy’s defense systems. After procuring the funds to obtained a copy of the codes, you were preparing to depart the Raddus when no one could find Finn. He’d been extremely anxious about Rey when he woke up, and the anxiety only increased the more dire their situation became. You had a pretty good idea where Finn had gone off too.

Rose Tico found him first. She didn’t say anything, but you were pretty smart--Finn had the binary beacon that Leia had given Rey in his hand--he was leaving to find her.  You didn’t say anything, even though Finn was well aware that you knew what he’d been up too, that you knew Rose had stopped him. He was grateful for that because Poe so put so much faith in him. 

So, as you were headed towards Canto Bright to purchase the shield codes, Finn waited until Poe was out of earshot to speak to you. “Thanks.”

“For what?” you asked, innocently.

“For not telling Poe that I tried to ditch the Resistance,” Finn replied. “I know how much this means to him.”

You shrugged your shoulders. “It’s not like you’re really a part of the Resistance; Poe just... wants you to be. To be fair, Finn, he just wants everyone to join us. Sometimes he has hard a time grasping that there are people out there that would rather not get involved.”

He nodded in understanding. Once he’d told Rey that she didn’t know the First Order like he did and that they all needed to run. She was devastated that he had left. Poe would probably be the same way, and for someone that had no friends while he’d been a solider for the First Order, Finn did not want to keep disappointing the people that he did consider his friends. 

Poe stepped back into the cockpit then, BB-8 rolling behind him. “Should be in Canto Bright within the hour.”

“Great. What should we do once we get there?” Finn asked.

“For one, change,” Poe replied, throwing a suit at him.

“Change?”

“Yeah. We need to blend in. Our clothes aren’t loud enough.”

Finn shot you a funny look and you smiled. “We won’t look rich enough if we stay in our regular clothes,” you said. 

Poe chuckled. “I’m not sure we’re ever going to look rich enough even if we put the clothes on.” He shook his head. “Those people drip money, practically wear it on them--meanwhile, people are suffering throughout the galaxy.”

The former Stormtrooper tossed a look at you. “Why didn’t you give Y/N something to change into?”

“Someone has to be here to fly the ship if we need to make a quick escape.”

“And I’m not trained for this kind of mission.”

“I am?”

Poe chuckled. “You do have military training.”

Finn frowned. “Yeah... but not Secret Ops training.”

Shifting in your seat, you glanced at Poe. “It’s Canto Bright--as along as you look fancy and talk fancy, I doubt anyone is going to know the difference. It’s just a playground for the rich.”

Checking the navicomputer, Poe got up, pressed a kiss to the top of your head and announced he was going to change. You looked towards Finn, noticing that he still seemed uncomfortable. “You know, Poe’s been charge of missions like this before--with Black Squadron. Everything is going to be okay.” 

“He’s never run into trouble before?”

“Oh, no, he runs into trouble all the time.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

“Poe always manages to find his way out of trouble.”

Finn silently agreed with you. He glanced at the fancy clothes that Poe had tossed at him. Once they had the information they had come to Canto Bright for, they were heading to Snoke’s ship--which is where you came in, because you were the smartest mechanic on base according to Poe and you could solve the code to stop the tracker. “Someday that luck is going to run out--I just hope it isn’t today.”

You swallowed the nervous bile in your throat. You were fearing the same things that Finn was--that Poe’s knack for escaping trouble would run out on this mission. But you had to try because if you didn’t, it would surely be the end of the Resistance. 

------

Along with BB-8, you waited anxiously in the ship while Poe and Finn headed out to the casinos to meet with your contact. You did your best to calm your already frayed nerves, but the longer the two men were gone, there more anxious you got.

Somehow you managed to fight off a panic attack. 

BB-8 stayed by your side, quietly beeping and engaging in off-topic conversation. You had a squeaky suspicion that Poe left his droid behind with you to help you manage your anxiety. Reaching down you gave the little droid some loving scratches on the top of his dome head.

Closing your eyes, you tried not focus on how long it was taking. Instead, you focused on the breathing techniques that Poe had tirelessly researched for you to help with your panic attacks. You were in such deep thought that you didn’t hear Poe’s voice over the comm calling for your help. It was BB-8′s pleas that pulled you back to reality.

“Poe?” you questioned, shakily into the comm link.

“Y/N! Get the ship ready!”

Without hesitation you started the ship up. BB-8 nervously beeped and rolled around the cock-pit. “Yes,” you said, as the engines fired up, “I’m very much aware that that was Poe’s I’m-in-trouble-voice. Are they in your sensor range, Bee?”

BB-8 confirmed that they were not, which meant that they were not near the ship. You cursed, silently. If only you knew how much time you had...

...blast bolts rocked the tiny little ship you were sitting in. Now you cursed loudly; BB-8 anxiously moved closer to you. 

“Poe! They’re firing on us!” you shouted into the comm link.

“Get out of there! We’ll join up outside of the city!”

“Join up? Where!”

“Just trust me, sweetheart!”

Trust him? Of course you trusted him, but in this moment, as you lifted the ship into the air and escaped the hanger--you were having a hard time trusting him. BB-8 was actively scanning for him, trying to help you find the two men as you headed out of the city. All you could see was one of those obnoxious party ships heading out over the pristine waterfalls. 

And then you saw them--Poe and Finn--at the edge of the waterfalls. “Bee! I see them!” You shouted at the droid, pointing them out. “Go open the cargo door! I get as low to the ground as I can so they can climb on board.”

You waited until you heard Poe shouting to punch it that you pushed the ship’s thrusters to its limits to climb into the atmosphere and back into space. It slightly startled you when Poe’s hand gripped your shoulder and guided you out of the pilot’s seat. There was no arguing from you--he was after all the better pilot. 

Poe effortlessly took over, flying the ship quickly away from the planet. “Hold on, I’m gonna have to make the jump to lighspeed quickly--before planetary defenses launch and come after us.”

“What did you two do down there?” you asked.

“Long story,” Finn mumbled. 

“They weren’t happy we might have cheated...”

“Poe... really?”

“Hey! They have plenty of money! We needed to blend in!”

Finn threw you a look just as Poe made the jump to lightspead. The two of you stumbled a bit, but quickly regained your balance. “He almost talked his way out of it. Almost. And then we were being chased by security...you know the rest.”

Poe swiveled the pilot seat around and smiled at you both. “We got out of there, didn’t we? And we stuck it to some of those rich guys. Now, I’m going to go get out of this ridiculous suit.” As he passed you, he pressed a kiss to your temple. “Forty minutes until we get to Snoke’s ship. You got this, sweetheart.”

You took a deep breath; you didn’t want fail Poe or the Resistance. Which meant you had to get your anxiety in check.  Otherwise, everything was going to fall to pieces and you would be the one to blame.

[kyloren]

Why Reylos Are A Bright Spot In The STAR WARS Fandom

It’s impossible to parse all of this out or to really say who’s “right” or “wrong” or what “right” and “wrong” even mean in fandom spaces. From my vantage point, the Reylo community is one of the more forgiving and accepting out there. It’s comprised of not only women, but plenty of men and non-binary Star Wars fans, from different races and orientations and experiences. And that’s true of any shipping community. In a fandom as large as Star Wars, there should be room for all of us to express joy or grief or surprise or disinterest in our cultivated spaces. It’s how we all choose to cross-pollinate that could use some work.

But Reylos aren’t deserving of the intense condemnation that comes from larger voices in the fandom. The ridicule feels specific and exclusionary, and rooted in gatekeeping sexism. Comparing them to the Fandom Menace is ridiculous. That group created blogs dedicated to roasting journalists, creators, and fans. Meanwhile, the Reylo community (along with Ben Solo fans) poured much of their frustration and sadness over The Rise of Skywalker into an act of good, by raising money for Adam Driver’s charity, Arts in the Armed Forces. How much money? As of this writing, over $76,000, more than double the charity’s fundraising goal for an entire fiscal year.

full article below the cut:

Why is romantic love such a controversial thing in fandom? It’s something I ask myself a lot, as a person who writes about shipping and who desires the kind of love that stories tell me might exist. I’ve spent most of my life in fandom spaces—participating in conversations or observing and examining them—and have witnessed firsthand how objectionable fictional romance can be, especially in fandoms that appeal to and target men. Why is this the case, and why is romance a thing we use to punish women looking for escapism in genre stories?

It’s hard to say, but it remains an endemic and undeniable strain. Shipping, which is fandom code for wanting two characters to be together, is often snickered at or seen as some frivolous element of appreciation. It can lead to shaming that feels personal and accusatory, as if your interest in a fictional relationship is a roadmap to your own intentions and experience. This attitude towards shippers is especially present in the Star Wars fandom, where the relationship between Rey and Kylo Ren is steeped in a seemingly never-ending controversy. There are fervent supporters of the romance between these characters, a plentiful contingent of opposers, and those who don’t really care one way or another but still seem fit to criticize.

Why has the “Reylo” ship created such a stir? Let’s dig into this subset of the Star Wars fandom: where it started, why it’s accumulated so much negativity, and why the Reylos don’t deserve the bad reputation they’ve acquired, especially in the wake of The Rise of Skywalker.

THE ORIGINS OF REYLO

The release of The Last Jedi was a rough time for a lot Star Wars fans. The film—the eighth in the Skywalker saga and the second in the Disney-era sequel trilogy—made a lot of bold storytelling choices, which divided the fandom into camps. Those who loved the meditations on the Force, Luke Skywalker’s troubled hero’s journey, the complicated characterization of Poe Dameron, Finn and Rose’s failed mission, and the strange developing bond between Rey and Kylo felt at odds with anyone who saw otherwise. Many disliked Luke’s arc, or the apparent sidelining of Poe and Finn, or the democratization of the Force. The disagreements spiraled into something bordering collective mania. It’s a debate that still rages today, and that seeped into the conversations we’re currently having about The Rise of Skywalker.

I loved the movie, but found the discourse numbing. Positive Twitter conversations were instantly marred by detractors, and every passionate argument was upended by accusatory nitpicks. I felt discouraged from participating in any of it, and I felt bitter towards the Star Wars community in general. Until I found the Reylos.

After stumbling on podcasts like What The Force?, Skytalkers, and Scavenger’s Hoard—all female-hosted programs—I realized there were plenty of encouraging conversations about The Last Jedi happening in fandom. I also realized most of them were Reylo-oriented. Suddenly, I was exposed to the exact conversations I always wanted to have about Star Wars: deep dives into mythology, redemption arcs, symbolism and dualism, religion, poetry. And all of that was encompassed in Reylo. All of these larger stories, focused through these characters joined by fate and purpose, who represented opposing ideologies of the Force.

There was so much to dig into. Rey and Kylo have a classic enemies-to-lovers storyline, a romantic trope seen in fairytales like Beauty and the Beast, classic literature like Pride and Prejudice, mythological stories like that of Hades and Persephone, even modern genre television like Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It’s typically used in women-oriented storytelling, as it affords duality and compassion to both parties; a distribution of power that makes the women as complicated, compromised, and interesting as their male counterparts. Rey’s interest in Kylo adds a layered intrigue to a character otherwise patently “good” and “pure,” words commonly associated with women, forcing them into palatable, antiquated gender roles.

Their relationship feeds a part of the fanbase who craves that kind of female protagonist. One who represents their own burgeoning lust, complicated compassion for the men they chose to care about, and temptation towards things we’re told to fear. Through the Reylo relationship, Rey took on another angle, one that finally made Star Wars feel like a story for me.

THE BACKLASH

I also learned right away what it meant to be a Reylo in the Star Wars fandom. The relationship between the light-sided Rey and dark-sided Kylo was riddled in turmoil. In The Force Awakens, a scene where he straps her down and interrogates her is considered by many to be abusive. The language Kylo uses to seduce Rey to his side in The Last Jedi is also seen as manipulative and problematic. He tells her that no one knows her like he does. In their opinion, he’s attempting to groom her to his standards, to turn her into what he wants against her own will. Those against the relationship will tell you that it’s a dangerous and negative message to send to young girls.

And here’s where I’ll say something potentially controversial amongst my fellow Reylos: I don’t think these people are “wrong.” Because everyone’s experience and perspective is their own thing to interrogate, and it’s not up to me to tell people how to feel about something–even if I disagree entirely. What I do take issue with, however, is the need to interrogate someone else’s preferences or fantasies. There is an infantilizing element to the backlash, as if those opposed think that Reylos haven’t reconciled with the themes presented to them, and are merely choosing to ignore them because they think Adam Driver is hot.

The way I see it, relationships like Reylo—power fantasies oriented on the feminine psyche, with an antagonistic male—fulfill two things I love in storytelling. They are pure escapism; the happy ending those of us drawn to the incurable are never afforded. And they are instructive, as they exemplify the patriarchal schism between men and women: that we are not equal, but that women love men anyway because of the compassion that comes naturally to balance that division. It shows how we can mend those gaps through patience and understanding. It’s archetypical and fantastical, sure, but that’s what Star Wars is: a fairy tale that wrestles with society and humanity in broad strokes.

That said, there are other reasons for dissent. Some fans ship Rey and Finn, and see their romance as a better avenue for a healthy relationship. Some have experienced personal trauma and can’t abide a romance that mimics and negates their pain. Others just don’t see the Reylo thing at all. Absolutely all of that is valid. Shipping should never be a competition or an authoritative moral stance on any side. Rey/Finn shippers are just as valid as Reylos because it speaks to what someone personally craves and desires. The shaming shouldn’t exist on any side—but because it does, the passionate defense comes in.

REYLOS DON’T DESERVE THE HATE

That knee-jerk self defense has drawn a lot of ire to the Reylo community in the aftermath of The Rise of Skywalker, the final film in the Star Wars sequel trilogy. On paper, the Reylos were given a lot of what they desire: Kylo Ren is redeemed and turns back into Ben Solo. Rey and Ben fight side by side and even share a kiss. But then Ben dies and Rey ends the movie alone, something that irked the shippers. They saw the ending as a grim conclusion for Ben and a way of punishing Rey for expressing her desires. To many, the ending feels hopeless and feeds into this stereotypical notion that for a woman to be strong, she must be single — as if romantic love weakens us.

There are other ways to read the ending, and many fans found power in it. That’s the beauty of film: that it’s entirely subjective. But in their profession of disappointment, the Reylos once again became a punching bag for the fandom at large. A recent BuzzFeed article compared the way Reylos reacted to The Rise of Skywalker to the way the Fandom Menace—a trolling, abusive, anti-Disney hate group—reacted to The Last Jedi. (Never mind that their “source” for this reaction was a tweet from a prominent member of the Fandom Menace, and that many of the complaints in question were either fabricated or from non-Reylo accounts.)

It’s impossible to parse all of this out or to really say who’s “right” or “wrong” or what “right” and “wrong” even mean in fandom spaces. From my vantage point, the Reylo community is one of the more forgiving and accepting out there. It’s comprised of not only women, but plenty of men and non-binary Star Wars fans, from different races and orientations and experiences. And that’s true of any shipping community. In a fandom as large as Star Wars, there should be room for all of us to express joy or grief or surprise or disinterest in our cultivated spaces. It’s how we all choose to cross-pollinate that could use some work.

But Reylos aren’t deserving of the intense condemnation that comes from larger voices in the fandom. The ridicule feels specific and exclusionary, and rooted in gatekeeping sexism. Comparing them to the Fandom Menace is ridiculous. That group created blogs dedicated to roasting journalists, creators, and fans. Meanwhile, the Reylo community (along with Ben Solo fans) poured much of their frustration and sadness over The Rise of Skywalker into an act of good, by raising money for Adam Driver’s charity, Arts in the Armed Forces. How much money? As of this writing, over $76,000, more than double the charity’s fundraising goal for an entire fiscal year.

I also know that the Reylos helped me find my way back to loving Star Wars, gave me endless professional and creative inspiration for the last two years, and deepened my interest and love of storytelling and mythology. I know I’m not alone, and I know that the Reylo shipping community has made Star Wars finally feel like a fandom they were allowed to love. That’s something I hope fans with different access points to the world of Star Wars might think about before they wag a finger or call Reylos fake fans or mock their interests and experience. Star Wars can and should be for everyone, and how we find our way into the galaxy far, far away is a unique, personal, and beautiful thing. Love is what it’s all about at the end of the day. Even romantic love.

by Lindsey Romain for Nerdist [find article HERE]

[gmariam19]

For a prompt from @mssr-cellophane: We see in a lot of fics that Finn learns binary himself. So what if it’s Poe teaching him? Could be an opportunity for sexy teacher Poe and an excuse to get them together before tros!

500 words! What do you think of the title. . . Hot For Teacher? 😂

"Thanks for helping me," Finn says. "I feel like I already understand him better."

"It's no problem, buddy," Poe says. "BB-8 adores you, you should understand what he's saying."

Finn raises an eyebrow as he takes another sip of whatever Poe poured for them. "I'm not sure adore is the right word. We got off to a rough start, you know."

Poe laughs. "I know, I've heard the story. Whenever we run out of things to talk about while flying, he tells me again." Poe sips his drink and sits back, smiling fondly. "But it changes every time. At least you're no longer the liar who stole my jacket and dragged Rey around Jakku."

Finn cringes. "Ouch. That's what he said?"

"Only the first few times."

"Well, we are getting along better, but that might be because I'm friends with you and Rey, and he loves you."

"And he likes you, too," Poe insists. "You saved him, you and Rey both. I still can't get over how lucky he was to meet you."

"We were lucky to meet him," Finn says. "He changed our lives."

"No, you changed your life. BB-8 might have dragged Rey off Jakku, but you chose to leave the First Order all on your own. BB-8 just helped you find your way." Finn nods and finishes his drink. They're sitting in Poe's bunk, where they've been meeting for the last week as Finn works on learning binary during their down time.

"All right, what's next?"

"How about some mechanics and technical terms?"

Finn watches as Poe pulls up some files on his datapad. Yet, just like every other time, his mind quickly drifts away. He should pay attention, or he's going to embarrass himself, but he can't help it: he starts watching Poe's lips instead of listening to what he's saying.

"You still with me?" Poe asks, and Finn nods.

"Yeah, sorry," he says. "You're a really good teacher, you know."

"So good you space out every time?" Poe grins. "Maybe we should lay off the raava while we study."

"No, it's not that," Finn says. "And yes, you're so good I space out every time. Can't help it. Same thing used to happen in trooper training."

"When I spaced out in school, it was because I was bored," Poe tells him, setting down the datapad. "I started daydreaming—about flying, fighting, my hot teachers." He laughs and finishes his drink.

"Exactly," Finn tells him, thinking this might be his opening, so he takes it. "We daydreamed too—about flying, fighting. Weapons training."

"Hot trooper teachers?" Poe teases.

"Not back then," Finn replies. "But definitely now."

Poe looks confused. "You're not a trooper anymore, Finn," he points out.

Finn leans forward and stops right before Poe's lips. "I'm not a trooper, but I do have a hot teacher."

Poe blinks in surprise. "That was really sappy."

"Did it work?"

"As long as we're not studying anymore."

Finn kisses him, thinking it's time for a new lesson.

[i-write-sometimes-blog]

Earth Girl (Rey x Reader)

Request: Can I request a Rey x reader fic where reader is from our world? Thanks for such great writing and responsiveness!! By anon

Words: 1, 659

A/N: I totally forgot I finished this yesterday and I didn't post it. Anyways, I wrote this at 4 a.m. hope is not that bad.

The stars were shimmering that night, the deep night sky above you always made your heart beat faster. Leaning on the railing of the rooftop of the tall building you contemplated the city on the most quiet hours, you did it often when you felt your life was bored, and it kept turning more and more bored because you were in the rooftop every single night, gazing at the stars and wondering if there could be something else out there, something better than just your regular life. You chucked at yourself for your childish thoughts.

“Now go back to reality” you whispered, it was weird to hear your voice after long hours of silence. The cold was hitting your skin, it was a very cold night, so you fixed the scarf around your neck preparing to go back to your apartment. You turned and found a mask in front of you that covered your mouth before you could scream, with a quick move they placed something on the side of your body, a weave of electric pain ran over your body making you felt to the ground. The last thing you saw before fainting was a kind of vehicle floating in the sky.

You didn’t know for how many time you were unconscious but you were sure it was a really long time. Your body ached for what you think it was an electric shock as you got on your feet, touching behind your ear your realized there was something, like a round piece of metal in your skin that made you shiver. Then you noticed the strange place you were into. It was a small metal room, the only way in and out was a kind of door in one of the walls that had a circular window. Panic rushed through your mind as you remembered how you ended up here, you’ve been kidnapped. You didn’t knew who or why they had take you, you didn’t have much money or an important work, but most important it seemed impossible to you how they came in the middle of the night, to one of the tallest rooftops of the city but they came… in a spaceship?

“I’m dreaming” you said “Yeah, that’s it. Just a very weird dream, I’ll wake up soon in my comfy bed.” you told yourself trying to calm you down. But as the time passed you were still there, maybe it was not a dream and if it was it seemed oddly real, it felt extremely real.

“Is anyone there?” you yelled looking through the small window that leaded to what looked like a simple hall. “Let me out!” you yelled and kept yelling for a time until a man walked your direction.

“Shut up!” he yelled at you.

“Let me go!” you begged.

“No way, sweetheart.”

“What did you put in my neck?” you asked him as you tried to show him.

“Universal translator” he said “You don’t speak galactic basic, do you?” He said, galactic what? he kept speaking “Or binary. If you didn’t have that you and me weren’t having this conversation”

The door opened in front of you, the man took your arms and placed in what looked like some sort of handcuffs and you didn’t fight much, you thought you were still dreaming or at least hoping. He leaded you for the strange hall made of steel with more doors just like the one you came from, you heard some people screaming for help and also some noises you had never heard before, you walked in silence until you arrived to a tent where more people awaited with their hands held as yours. Outside the tent you could heard some people cheering and a man’s voice saying something by a microphone but you weren’t sure of what he said until the same man that brought you there guided you to a stage where a big fat man was announcing the next sale.

“My friends, you know I always do my best to bring you the most rare, unique and exotic creatures of the galaxy” he said and the crowd bursted in joy “But today I pushed my limits, I sent my boys to a forbidden place, a very special place just for you”

You could saw the big man having a good time and also you could see part of the crowd, there were women and men dressing in very exuberant clothing, some had feathers in some big hats and dresses of vibrant colors but then you saw a light between the people, a girl that had some kind of white hood covering most of her face, she was different compared with all this persons.

“Walk to his side” the man said and confused you followed his orders.

“Here she is” the big man said. The crowd exchanged glances and murmured things until a woman in a red dress spoke.

“A human?” she mocked. By this time you were debating yourself if this was a dream or not, and it terrefied you how much this didn’t look like a dream nor a nightmare, but you were still figuring out.

“Not any human” said the man.

“Then where does she come from? I didn’t come here just for a human” said the woman in red, while you stood in the middle of the stage, looking how the girl with the white hood turned around and started to leave the place, she had caught your attention since you saw her for the first time but you couldn’t tell what.

“Earth” The fat man smiled and as he said with a dramatic tone, causing a collective gasp from the audience. The girl stopped and turned around to met your gaze, you felt yourself beginning to blush with just her eyes focused on you.

“Let the offers begin, how much would you paid for a Earth girl?” said the fat man and the people started to yelled things you didn’t understand. You realized they were selling you and it scared you to death. The girl seemed to know your fears somehow, you could feel her in your mind and you begged for her help.

She closed her eyes for a long moment and when she opened them again the ground trembled, then again, the crowd frozen as they felt the move. And then it trembled again but you finally got to see what was causing it, it was a huge beast that looked very close to what you knew as a rhino except this one was bigger and its horn was so much bigger than the ones you’ve saw.

“Boss” yelled a bad looking man “The mudhorn escaped"

"I see that, idiot!" He growled "get that shit in a cell or I'll feed you to the rest of them"

The scared crowd started to run as fast as their luxurious clothes allowed them as the beast came closer, your head was beyond confused but as an instinct you jumped out of the small stage landing gladfully on your feet, dream or not you would save your life from that.

Suddenly a hand wrapped around one of your arms and scared you almost hit that beautiful girl you saw before, she was even prettier now close to you, her soft features and brown eyes made your heart skipped a beat.

"I'm here to help" she said as she took of the cuffs from your hands "I need you to run with me, okay?" She told you not getting an answer from you, you were amazed by her. "Can you understand me?" She asked.

"I really wish you're not a dream" was the only thing that left your mouth.

"I'm not. Now move" she said before she held your hand and ran, you almost fell to the ground impressed by her strength. You rushed with her outside the tent, looking around you the place you were was really close to a desert, everything seemed kinda orange, it was fun.

Then you saw the ship. A big thing in the middle of the desert that looked like some si-fi spaceship or a house, you weren't sure what it was but sure it was big. The girl took you inside and closed the door.

"Poe, we need to go!" She shouted as she walked you through the strange place. Two men emerged from a circular hall and glanced at you.

"Who's she?" Said one of them.

"Just turn the engines on, Poe" the girl said. "There's a mudhorn out, we have to hurry"

"I'm not taking a stranger into the Resistance, Rey. Why did you bring her?" Rey, so that was her name. She and Poe kept talking as if you weren't there with them, the other man noticed it and gazed.

"Are you okay?" He asked, you nodded. "Where are you from?" You doubted the response, you were going to say your city but then you remembered that they had call you Earth girl so maybe that was the right answer.

"Earth" you murmured.

"Earth?!" Said both men. Suddenly the ground started to tremble just like before, the rhino was coming closer. Without any other questions the men ran and moments later the whole shit started to rumble.

"Are we really gonna fly" you asked Rey as she guided you to a round table not yet letting go of your hand.

“You don’t have ships in Earth?” she said.

“Well, we have planes and helicopters” you told her and her face lighted with curiosity.

“Planes” she giggled “You have to tell me what’s that later, Earth girl” she said finally letting go of your hand as she turned to go to what you assumed was a cockpit.

“I have a name” you said making her turn her head to look at you. “I’m Y/N” she smiled.

“Rey. Welcome to the Millenium Falcon” she winked “Your world is about to get a whole lot bigger, Y/N”

[aimmyarrowshigh]

Hi V! I was just reading an excerpt from the new Poe novel, and there was a passage that maybe hinted at a little force sensitivity, and I remember you mentioning that there was a page in The Rebel Files (I think?) that implied Poe was FS as well because he made the Starkiller run, which was more difficult that the Death Star run, where Luke had to tap into the force. Am I remembering that correctly?

Yes, IIRC it’s in Rebel Files -- I think it’s Leia(?) who says that Poe’s Starkiller trench run was more difficult than Luke’s! I also personally feel like the 9-shots-9-hits-in-12-seconds or whatever on Takodana, where Poe was able to aim his lasers accurately at Troopers who were hand-to-hand fighting civilians and Rebels, WHILE doing like, barrel rolls, is some pretty Force Sensitive-seeming flying. And look, I really just want to believe that the Force Tree loved him enough to protect him. That’s really it.

ALSO, correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t only FS characters know how to speak Binary, and Poe can speak to and understand BB-8? The only other non-droid characters I can think of who can speak Binary are Anakin, Luke, and Rey... it’s why Protocol Droids exist, isn’t it? (I may totally be wrong and misremembering that, though!)

[camwritesbooks]

bit of a broad question but I liked your post about starwars. would it be weird to ask what you would have done differently with Ben and rey, in terms of his redemption etc? weirdly I was like... THERE for his redemption but I still definitely think he was kinda... not redeemable??? idk I'm just curious what your thoughts are/would be lol

hi there!! yeah i’m more than happy to explain my thoughts on this

personally, I don’t see redemption for kylo. I understand why people would like it but for me he has just done too much to forgive. people will probably bring up vader/anakin here and my only defences on that front are to be fair to the original trilogy the prequels hadn’t been made yet and it’s possible to interpret the end of anakin’s story as a move to the light side but not a redemption (I mean, no one’s saying he’s forgiven for murdering all those kids, you know). I also think it would’ve been more meaningful if kylo wasn’t redeemed because that would condemn the organisation and ideology he served which is something we struggle to do in our real society. fascism needs to be called what it is!!

so I wouldn’t redeem kylo ren/ben. using tfa and some of tlj I guess as a base for my star wars future, I would ultimately have rey kill kylo in battle in the final fight of the final film, obviously after he doubled down on his dark side-ness at the end of tlj. his story would be a tragedy but it would point out that first of all, you can’t always ‘save’ everyone like that, and also it isn’t rey’s responsibility to do so. that was one of my main gripes - as rey’s story revolves around kylo, the sequels end up becoming completely about kylo.

also, I wouldn’t give kylo and rey that special force bond, because I think it was a bit silly and undercuts messages about choosing your destiny or whatever. their relationship is never romantic not even positive - rey really doesn’t have any reason to like him given what he’s done and if anything she feels pity. she does what she has to do and kills him in the final battle for the good of the galaxy. my little au also wouldn’t involve leia dying for kylo, she is obviously grief-stricken at his death but has to face it and accept she isn’t responsible for what he’s done.

my other star wars fix-its would include palpatine not coming back (kylo, as supreme leader, is the big bad guy and obviously rey isn’t a granddaughter of palpatine because that’s silly), phasma lives past tlj and her fight with finn happens at the end, finn’s force sensitivity is actually explored and he experiences conflict about fighting stormtroopers knowing how they;ve been enslaved and brainwashes and ultimately leads a rebellion of stormtroopers against the first order. rose is actually given something to do, it’s finn and poe who kiss in the celebration scene and the film ends with finn and poe with rey on tatooine, the three of them standing together as binary sunset plays 🥰

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

it’s an... instinct.

so... i watched the rise of skywalker a little while earlier, and, uh. i have to be honest, you guys: it was very underwhelming. i understand it had to deal with impossible expectations and unexpected challenges, but even accounting for those issues, the movie was inescapably... flat. i feel none of the joy or buzz that i felt in abundance after tfa and tlj; just an empty sense of oh. that’s that, then. it didn’t have to be this way, i think? but after a year of watching disney blockbuster after dull disney blockbuster, i don’t know why i expected anything with even a smidgeon of creative ambition.

(actually i do know why: because the last jedi exists.)

i don’t really want to hang around shitting on this movie because i don’t at all enjoy complaining about something that i don’t also find fascinating/interesting in other ways, so i’m just going to say my piece and go.

SPOILERS AHEAD. like for almost every aspect of the film. i’m going to put spoiler tags on this and the rest of the post under a Read More but if by any chance you’re reading this in spite of all of that and don’t want to be spoiled, scroll past this post as fast as you can.

1. what the hell was even going on? this movie zipped from plot point to plot point without really letting either the characters or the audience absorb the impact of what was going on. i still haven’t wrapped my head around the fact that palpatine is back. or maybe it’s his pal, friendpatine? we may never know. it all went by so fast.

2. like. i see the dramatic and narrative potential in having rey be a descendant of palpatine--the very embodiment of evil--and be the saviour of the Light, while the dark side is served (to a point) by a descendant of the skywalkers, who are supposed to embody everything that is good in the galaxy. but the last jedi brought up concepts and ideas far more interesting than the dark-light binary and ideological struggles recycled from 40 years ago. the revelation of rey’s heritage undermines what was easily the strongest and most poignant scene of tlj: that rey’s parents were nobodies, and that the person who was going to save the jedi was just this girl abandoned on a desert planet, a survivor who thrived thanks to her ingenuity and hard-earned skills. it was of a piece with finn the former stormtrooper--a faceless target destined for an unceremonious death--turning out to be the one to inspire the resistance and the key to destroying the first order’s most terrifying weapon yet. 

but no... turns out anything that’s force-related on a monumental scale has to tie back to the skywalkers in some way, because, uh... blood legacy and destiny is the most important thing after all, oops?

2.5. the hard earned lessons from the previous movie were thrown away in an instant and replaced by anodyne aphorisms: she saw your spirit, be your true self, we can do anything together. this movie’s answers to its ideological and philosophical divides is akin to slapping a fortune cookie note over a black hole.

2.75. how thrilling it had been to think that the force doesn’t belong to just one family but to the galaxy entire! that heroes can arise from unexpected places! that even the most starwarsy hotshot hero can learn to be humble and that it’s that humility that finally shapes him into a leader! that for a hot minute this franchise was doing something new and exciting and setting the stage for future generations to explore this universe in different and interesting ways!

2.8. “my parents saved me by selling me into slavery” is an actual (paraphrased) line from the movie! are you listening to yourself, rey! what the actual fuck! are you sure there was no other way? are you sure??????

3. i will admit that tlj underserved finn’s arc, but at least his sidequest with rose in tlj had something interesting to say. tros always seems on the edge of realising finn’s arc, only to get distracted by the next laser gun battle or “banter” with poe. the indiscriminate murder of stormtroopers in this trilogy never sat well with me given the very first scene of tfa, but the lingering shots of the corpses of stormtroopers in a lot of a scenes in this movie gave me hope. when jenna and her group were revealed to have been defectors themselves, my heart soared. but finn’s never given a moment to let that sink in, or to really reflect on what that means and so his arc remains frustratingly unresolved.

3.5. oh, and rose tico was completely sidelined. she might as well have not been in the movie at all. it would’ve been less insulting.

4. the one big thing i was banking on was seeing rose finn and poe together at last--but alas. most of their banter was just them sniping at each other, and rey seemed utterly removed from the other two even when they were together--just wandering off vacantly when they took eyes off her for a second. their three way hug at the end was wonderful but couldn’t make up for all the disappointment that came before that.

5. some of the visuals were great, but the final fight was so bereft of imagination that they had to resort to a literal column of light extending into the sky--a placeholder climax for any movie that wants to end things in an Epic way but has run out of original ideas. even the “i am all of the sith”/”i am all of the jedi” felt horrifyingly like an avengers: endgame reference. kylo ren’s redemption was odd and inorganic. i just--

i. i’m sorry. actually i have a number of other things i found disappointing about the movie but i’m going to stop here. it had a lot to do on its plate without trying to retcon almost everything that the last jedi set up as well, and the result is... a bit of a mess.

still, movies like tfa, r1 and especially tlj hold a special place in my heart, and now that it’s time to say goodbye to these characters and this universe, i gotta say: it’s been fun. thanks for everything. i wish it had ended better.

[who-talks-first]

Out of the Sun

(REEAAALLLY long section because this is very serious and I couldn’t break up the flow. Don’t laugh at me this part meant a lot to me to write. I love writing intimacy. It’s very romantic.)

Masterlist

Part 31 - 3,167 words - rated M (language and nudity)

She was outside Poe’s quarters in a heartbeat. It was getting late in the evening, but she knew he wasn’t about to go to sleep after losing a teammate in battle. She took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

Through the door, she heard muffled words and beeps: Poe didn’t want to let her in.

In a moment, the door slid open. A retractable arm was folding back into BB-8’s open compartment as he rolled back and beeped a gentle greeting.

“Poe?” said Ellra softly, stepping in and letting the door slide shut behind her.

The man was sitting at the head of his bed, still wearing his dirty clothes, his knees pulled up to his chest. She couldn’t see his face as it was resting on his knees, just a dirty mop of black curls.

“Poe?”

“I’m really not good for company, Ell,” said Poe to his knees.

“I’m not here for a social visit. I need to make sure you’re okay,” she said, standing by the side of his bunk.

“Well, what do you think?” he said, bitterness creeping into his voice. He looked up at her and she wasn’t used to seeing him look that angry, that distant. “Should I be okay? I just got my oldest friend killed.”

“Jessika told me before that you’d known L’ulo a long time,” tried Ellra, shifting her weight nervously.

“Literally my whole life. He flew with… with my mom,” said Poe, tears suddenly spilling over his eyelashes and down his dirty cheeks.

That was it. When Poe began crying, Ellra abandoned all caution. She climbed beside him on the bed and wrapped him in her arms. She felt the change in tension in his body as he allowed himself to weep, mourning his friend. He nuzzled his face into her chest as she gently raked her fingers through his hair.

“When my mom died… he – he stepped up…” murmured Poe between gentle sobs. “He was my family as much as my dad was… Fuck…”

Ellra leaned back on the wall at the head of the bed, stretching her legs out, and Poe more or less collapsed against her, giving in to his grief.

She lost track of time as she sat there, holding the grieving pilot in her arms. He told her stories about L’ulo and his dad when he was a boy, stories about L’ulo as a pillar of Black Squadron, and stories about his mother and L’ulo, back in the days of the Rebel Alliance.

“He must have been a truly remarkable man, Poe,” she said softly, “if he helped raise a man like you.”

“Oh, please don’t say things like that,” said Poe, hiding his face in Ellra’s tunic. “I’m not great like he was or my parents were…”

“That’s not fair to them, is it?” she said, ducking her head down and lifting his up so she could meet his eye.

“How do you mean?” he said pathetically.

“Well, I know for a fact that L’ulo was incredibly proud of you. And I know in my heart that your mother would be proud of her son carrying on her honor and memory like you do. And I can only guess how proud your dad must be every day to be the parent of such a brave, strong, loyal, kind man like you.”

Poe stifled a sob and rested his head down in Ellra’s lap.

“So, when you say you’re not great, you’re disrespecting the people who love and admire you. I’ve only known you a few months, but I admire you greatly. And no one holds you in higher esteem than General Organa,” she continued. “And she and I are both pretty great.”

At this, Poe chuckled softly, tugging a fistful of Ellra’s tunic hem.

“Poe?”

He only hummed in response.

“You’re really dirty. Can I draw you a bath?”

He nodded in her lap before pushing off to sit up. He still didn’t meet her eye.

After getting to her feet, Ellra leaned over and pressed a tender kiss to Poe’s temple before heading inside the refresher.

She slid back the clear folding panel that hid the bath and shower from view and turned on the hot water. She looked through a couple of cabinets to find pleasantly-fragranced soaps to dissolve in the rising bathwater for relaxation.

“Not like the herbs we have at home,” she mumbled to herself. “But begging traders can’t ask that much.”

She folded a towel and tucked it against the wall where she knew Poe’s head would rest in a few minutes.

“BB?” said Ellra, poking her head around the corner.

The little droid looked at her from his spot in the charging dock and beeped softly.

“Can you play some relaxing music?” she asked. “I’m not familiar with the devices around here.”

BB-8 beeped his confirmation and rolled to the workstation, fiddling with a small device there. Soothing music began to fill the room, even at a low volume.

“That’s lovely, little friend,” said Ellra, crossing the room to take Poe’s hand. “Just right.”

He let her help him off the bed. She slipped a hand around his waist and guided him to the refresher.

The tub was full now, so Ellra ducked to turn off the tap. She looked up to see Poe staring dejectedly down at the still water.

“Poe?”

“Hm?”

“Are you up for this?” she asked.

“Up for what?” he replied absently.

Ellra sighed and reached up to unzip Poe’s flightsuit herself. He didn’t seem to notice and let her unzip it and slide it off his shoulders before even acknowledging that his girlfriend was suddenly undressing him.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, shimmying out of the flightsuit himself. “You don’t have to help me undress.”

She chuckled softly and took his hand for balance as he kicked off his boots and stepped out of the orange jumpsuit.

“I’m not sure you can do it without me,” she said, unable to hide her smirk.

Even though Poe didn’t smile, his voice had a hint of humor as he said, “There’s a lot I’m beginning to wonder if I could do without you.”

Ellra ignored the strange pang of emotion his words caused her and glanced down at Poe’s civvies, what he wore underneath the flightsuit. The shirt had clearly been soaked with sweat earlier and with it exposed to the air now, Poe gave a small shiver.

“I’m going to turn around,” she said, gesturing to his clothes. “When I turn back, I’ll help you get in.”

She turned around and leaned against the nearby cabinet, listening for the sound of rustling clothes. After a moment of silence, she said, “Poe. Undress.”

“Oh…”

After a moment of rustling, Poe fell silent again and Ellra turned around. Strangely, he had shed most of his clothes except for the damp shirt, which was now unbuttoned. He was again staring down at the water, his eyes unfocused.

Ellra sighed and gently pulled the garment off his shoulders, tossing it on the floor beside his other things.

“Into the bath, love,” she whispered, ducking her head under Poe’s arm and wrapping her arm around his waist.

“’Kay…” he murmured, letting her guide him into the bathtub.

He sank down in the water, which came up to his chest and let out a pained hiss.

“Shit! Hot!”

“Sorry, sorry, sorry!” cried Ellra, rushing to the other end of the tub to turn on the cold water.

“No, stop,” said Poe, reaching for her arm. “I need it. I’m bruised badly. The heat will help my muscles and joints.”

Ellra spared a shy glance down his body: even through the water made murky by the soap she had poured in, she could see purple bruises beginning to show on his torso, legs, and hip. She noticed suddenly that his right hand had a wound that went right through it. She hadn’t realized until just now what Poe must go through physically on a regular basis. Before, she’d only thought about the peril and threat of death.

A terrible, romantic, sensual whim overcame her and she bit her tongue to keep from voicing it.

Poe seemed to notice her conflict.

“What is it?” he asked.

Their eyes met and his burned into her deeper than she was prepared for. The words tumbled out in a breath.

“I want to lovingly kiss each bruise on your body.”

Spirits, she prayed that her voice hadn’t sounded as much like a whimper to him as it did her.

Poe stared back at her for a long, agonizing moment, his lips parted slightly as he processed her words.

Finally, he reached up and gently took her hand, pulling her down to him and into a kiss. She almost melted there on her knees in Poe’s refresher, her hands gripping the edge of the tub. His wet hand sloppily pulled her hair back from her face as he held her there, his lips gently tracing hers, caressing them, trying desperately to reflect back all the love she was showing him tonight.

When he finally pulled back, leaving Ellra breathless, she was confused to see his solemn look was replaced by his signature cocky grin.

“The scars, too, right?” he said, biting his lip. “You’ll kiss all my scars, too?”

“Dameron,” she breathed, gently splashing him with water.

She rose and turned away as Poe laughed quietly to himself. She bent down and picked up all his dirty clothes, gently rolling them up in her arms. As she made to leave the room, Poe seized her hand.

“Will you stay with me?” he asked, all his fear and uncertainty suddenly burning in his eyes.

Ellra ducked her head to press a kiss to the back of his hand.

“I’m going to the next room. I’ll stay as long as you need me,” she whispered before kissing his hand again and releasing it.

He nodded understandingly and settled back in.

BB-8 was anxiously pacing the floor in front of the bed, booping softly to himself.

Boo-doo whee whee doot? he asked when Ellra appeared from the refresher.

She still wasn’t fluent in understanding Binary, but she knew enough to understand that BB-8 was asking if Poe was alright.

“He is as well as can be expected in the circumstances, little friend,” she said, stooping to gently pet his head. “He needs our love and support right now. How are you doing? I know it must have been a rough day for you, too.”

BB-8 nodded his head and whirled a slow circle in front of Ellra’s feet, beeping and whistling his side of the day’s events.

She only picked up a few words, but they didn’t paint a pretty picture. There had been blood, and a fist fight, and Poe cursing, Jessika sobbing over the fighters’ comms, and something about a bottomless pit?

“Would you like to rest a little bit?” she asked.

BB-8 booped and clicked.

Ellra understood that sentence: “Not until I know Poe’s okay.”

“You’re the best friend anyone could ever ask for, BB,” she said, smiling down at the noble little droid.

After stowing the laundry, Ellra gently pawed through the small cabinet filled with Poe’s clothes. She found an undershirt that had been worn thin and soft with time and repeated washing, and a pair of soft black pants she took for pajamas.

Clothes in hand, she returned to Poe’s side. Tears were silently streaming down his face as he stared into space again, his hands clasped in his lap. When loving fingers traced through his hair, he looked up at Ellra.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, my love,” she said, resting her bottom on the edge of the tub. “You take your time feeling angry, grieving. It’s your right.”

Staring forward again, Poe said, “I’m sorry for how I am with you. I’m not handling L’ulo’s death well and I’m not handling your loving support right now.”

“Stop it right now, Poe,” said Ellra, taking his hand out of the water and holding it in both of hers on her leg. “There’s no right way to do this. I don’t want you sparing a moment of your thoughts to our interactions. If you’re comfortable with me here, then I’m here.”

Poe leaned over and rested his cheek on their clasped hands. He sighed.

“I’ve been self-reliant for so long,” he said. “I don’t even know how to react to having someone there to support me, help me, love me. I’m not complaining, I just wish I was a better partner to you, more receptive of your support.”

Ellra laughed quietly in the back of her throat.

“Poe,” she said, kissing the top of his head, “you’re the best boyfriend I could ever imagine. You’re just used to being supportive to others – me, your friends, your colleagues. You’re not used to being supported. But there’s no technique, no instructional holovid to watch on dealing with death and love and people. You just do your best. And right now, all I want you to do is focus on feeling better. I want you to grieve, but in a healthy way. No self-loathing or taking all the blame.”

“I know,” he said into her leg. “I’m so grateful for your help. I love you.”

It was the first time Poe had said that to Ellra. Her heart stopped. When she caught her breath again, however, she relished the warmth and joy that suddenly enveloped her.

“I love you, too, Poe,” she breathed.

After a long moment, she said, “Sit back, I want to do something.”

Poe sat upright and looked at Ellra expectantly.

“I haven’t done this before so bear with me,” she murmured. “I can’t get behind you because of the cabinet.”

She put her hands on his shoulders and gently massaged his tired muscles.

“Oh, shit,” he grunted as his face screwed up.

“Am I hurting you?” asked Ellra in concern.

“No,” said Poe, shaking his head. “My body hurts. You’re doing a good thing. Please don’t stop.”

Ellra smiled to herself as she patiently massaged Poe’s aching muscles, moving her hands from his shoulders up to his neck and down his arms. He sometimes grunted in pain or moaned softly in relief, but the look of contentment that overtook his face when she began never faltered. Occasionally, he looked up at Ellra, his eyes shining with adoration.

Her heart fluttered as she took in his expression, his bright eyes, his gentle smile. No one had ever looked at her that way, and frankly, she never imagined anyone would. She didn’t think it was possible to look at someone the way Poe was looking at her right now.

For the first time in their relationship, Ellra took it completely upon herself to kiss him. She gently took his face in her hands, tilting his head up, and pressed her lips to his. He hummed softly into her kiss, eyes lazily shut. His hands slid up her arms to rest on her hands where they held his cheeks.

“Poe,” she breathed against his mouth.

“Mm?”

“You’re not alone. And you don’t have to carry any of this alone, ok?”

Poe squeezed his eyes shut and rested his forehead against Ellra’s temple. He nodded subtly against her.

“Whatever time alone you need to grieve, you’ll get,” she continued. “But you don’t have to bear the weight of the galaxy on your shoulders alone. Okay, love?”

“Okay.”

When the water was no longer hot enough for comfort, Ellra helped Poe out of the tub and wrapped him in a big, worn towel, averting her eyes politely at the appropriate moments. She stood in the doorway, facing BB-8, while he dressed.

She gasped when Poe wrapped his arms around her torso, nuzzling his face into her hair.

“Part of me wonders if you’re trying to bed me, Cadet Oka,” he purred in her ear.

She turned in his embrace and met his gaze, her mouth set firmly. From the change in his eyes, she could tell he regretted his joke.

“If that’s what it takes to ease your pain tonight, then I will,” she said simply, watching his reaction. “But that’s not my goal.”

“You’ll stay with me then?” he asked, his eyes flicking back and forth between each of hers.

Ellra slipped her arms around Poe’s neck, pulling his body closer to hers. She left him hanging for another moment, relishing the anticipation in his eyes.

“For as long as you’ll have me.”

He sighed and she felt him relax against her, letting his head rest on her shoulder.

“Let’s get you to bed, love,” said Ellra, leading Poe to the bunk.

BB-8 watched the pair carefully for another minute, his lens moving back and forth between their faces. When Poe sat down on the bed and stretched, he finally seemed satisfied now that Poe would be alright and clicked and beeped contentedly to himself before rolling to his charging station and powering down.

“You couldn’t ask for a better best friend, Poe,” said Ellra, watching BB-8.

“That little guy has saved my life more times than any human ever has,” said Poe, sparing the sleeping robot a grin.

“Scoot over.”

Ellra climbed in beside Poe, who laid himself across her lap, the top of his head supported by her forearm. She pulled the blanket up over his shoulders and leaned back against the wall. With her free hand, she gentle played with Poe’s damp hair, twisting locks around her fingers absently.

After an extended but comfortable silence, Poe quietly ventured, “Ell?”

“Hm?”

“Will you sing for me?”

“I only know Ishta folk songs,” she said, smiling to herself.

“Please sing one of those,” said Poe, subtly nuzzling her leg.

“Would you like me to translate some of the words to Basic for you?” she asked.

“If you want to. I just want to hear your voice.”

Ellra leaned her head back against the wall and softly sang into the dark, her voice a little rough from the long day. She stroked Poe’s hair in rhythm for lack of a traditional percussion instrument to keep time. The melody was gentle and simple, almost like a nursery rhyme.

When the verse was over, she sang it again, roughly translating the original lyrics into Basic for Poe’s benefit:

I’ve never had a love like you before

Your sweet voice calls me to you

I’ve never been so far away

From the place I was born

But beside you I am home again

I’ve found my home in your loving heart

Ellra hoped the song’s message wasn’t lost on Poe – romantic though he was, he was also adorably clueless. But when she leaned over to see his reaction, she realized he was already in a deep sleep.

She swallowed a laugh and shook her head.

“Goodnight, Poe,” she sighed before singing the next verse, this time, not bothering to translate.

[o-taryn-o]

Watching The Last Jedi Thoughts and Reactions

I’ve been obsessed with reading Reylo fan fiction since the opening night I saw TLJ. Ive seen this movie a lot but thought it would be fun to watch it again and react. I guess I had a lot to comment on Rose and Finn and also DJ. Enjoy~

Wow these opening credits are super vague…

I really love this opening scene it’s 100% my favorite Star Wars opening.

Carrie Fishers daughter is super cool. Hux looks v tired and/or on drugs.

Sansa’s insane aunt from Game of Thrones. Love BB-8, I ship Poe and Hux more then Hux and Kylo tho. “punch it!” I love that they have enough time to say cute one liners when piloting a ship. THIS SCENE IS EDITED SO FUCKING WELL THOOOO. Its literally FLAWLESSLY edited. 2nd “punch it!” When the bombers show up my heart starts beating faster, my favorite action sequence ever. Not even thinking about how theres no gravity in space. I love Paige so much! Have I ever seen a asian woman save the day in a movie ever? Why are her hands so beautiful? I LOVE THE COSTUMES OF THIS MOVIE. I wonder where Kylo is? Finn bb!! I wonder why he’s in a storage room? This movie is SO SEXUAL. Love me some beautiful island porn. LOVE that Luke throws the saber, love subverting expectations. “Master Skywalker?” is so cute I have such a crush on Rey. Wow the huts are so cute. Daisy is literally so beautiful, want to be and also kiss her.  Progs, so cute. Rey literally doesn’t waste anything love it she takes the books later also. “Where’s Han?” and then cuts to Kylo love it. The fuck is a “cur”? ADAM DRIVER fuck. This room is so red, its so pretty. This movie is visually STUNNING. Ben’s hair is fucking glorious, also look at those LIPS! I just want him to be with Rey and happy. Ben is fucking loosing his mind Ryan made him look so broken I love it. “Prepare my ship!” is so sexy. Rey’s accent is so perfect. Literally what Luke said he doesn’t want to do he does by the end of the movie. Love poncho Rey! This island is so fucking cool I need more high quality pictures going around. The green milk is so funny. I love that Rey looks away from the creature in embarrassment but then not Ben’s naked chest. I need to take so many screenshots of this movie, theres so many moments people forget! Rey in the tree, so beautiful, I can’t wait to find out id those books give us any information next film. I hope the next film starts with the vision Rey and Ben saw next film. I want to see Reys dreams. I miss Carrie. 

Poe is so annoying, Leia is so right. What a great line, “get your head out of your cockpit”. How does Finn know what the binary beacon is? THIS is when shit goes down. I really like that everything in this movie goes wrong. “Follow my lead” so sexy. Ben is literally crying feeling his mothers presence. And yet people thing this isn’t a redemption story. *shakes my head* Even The First Orders uniforms are so crispty its beautiful. I really like that Leia saved herself. Finn looks so good in that jacket I’m so excited for his blue pants look. Chewy and Porgs is all I ever needed. The lights in the cockpit of the falcon are really beautiful. The shots in this movie are GORGEOUS. I feel like R2 has a really dirty mouth. I can’t wait for Ben and Rey to escape with the falcon from somewhere and then takeout. IM SO READY.  Luke is kinda creepy? Never liked Luke, Leia should have been the protagonist of the original trilogy. HOLDO is a BABE! Love her look and tone and everything she saids is bomb. I love that she talks about everyone else in the galaxy and the importance of keeping everyone hopeful. Why is there so much sexual tension between Poe and EVERYONE? I do feel like Poe is bi tho. Holdo is RIGHT, Poe is annoying and a dick. Sorry I don’t make the rules. He’s hot but wrong. Finn and Rose are so GOOD, it makes me so happy this whole scene. I’m sorry bb Rose I wish I could give her a hug. “Doing talking…” haha I love Kelly so much. Rose is v smart and I love that she stuns him and then drags him. DRAG HIM GIRL. All the men in this movie are making mistakes and the women are being smart this is true to life. Rose and Finn are honestly so perfect together. Its so annoying that Finn and Poe keep interrupting Rose, also true to life.  Maz in the next movie is gonna be into Reylo. Also “union dispute?” what the hell is Maz talking about? How and why does Poe know Maz? I love sleepy Rey, Ben isn’t even mad when he sees her. He looks her up and down so many times throughout this movie. He’s so in love before she is, its cute. Reys outfit is perfection. What Rey said actually wasn’t completely wrong. “s tension, a balance” REYLO! I love that they go into what the force is in this movie. Porgs on the ship is so cute, so is Rey in rain. Ben with his questions, I like that Ben is actually listening to her to see how she feels about him. HE LOOKED AT HER LIPS! WET GLOVES. Finn is so distracted. Pretty cool looks in the casino, those glasses are sweet. Finn/John is so hot. Love watching Rey with her staff. I need one of those belts. An ICON. Could listen to Rey’s theme all day. I feel so bad for the locals, Reys a little bit of a dick. Right when she decides to follow Luke I need that gif! This conversation is great but all I can focus on is the fact that Luke saids “huberous” twice always makes me anxious. I love space operas. Men failing, *a theme*. “I need someone to show me my place in all this” its Ben baby! DJ is cool, why does nobody talk about him. He’s such a interesting character. BB-8 is a badass. Fathiers are so beautiful. It was unnessicary for them to crash through the window and run inside, this whole case is too long. I can’t believe that they have already filmed most of the next movie. I like that Leia and Luke are talking. Now Reys asking the questions, she’s trying to understand him, she wants to understand him. I haven’t noticed till now how inconsistent their voices are over the force. Sleeping baby Ben is my favorite, with his calligraphy set? Precious. Did he show her his past? Or does she just believe him? I want to see the other cut scenes from Reys storyline. Its really cool to see Rey mirroring herself. This is a really cool scene. I’m so happy Ben has long hair in Episode 9. Bens already crying just from her telling him about how lonely she is!! They are eye fucking rn, I know what that look is. I REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHAT THEY ARE SEEING!!! Luke fucking ruins everything. Ben must be freaking out rn. Yeah get him Rey! I love this fight in the rain. Rey is right. The thing is like how do you know someones completely evil? Who makes that judgement call? This scene is cool, love the look of Yoda. Its a lot of pressure on Rey to continue the Jedi order if she’s the one who knows all the stuff in the books, Im glad she grabbed them. “The greatest teacher failure is”, “we are what they grow beyond” GREAT QUOTES. Rose is a badass. DJ is kinda right tho. “Let me learn you something big” so funny. No one can tell me Rey didn’t wash up and get pretty for meeting Ben. Ben made sure he was the first face she saw, he looks hot. Sweet hacking skills. The iron is really fun editing, they all look really good in the uniforms. The first shot of the elevator scene is so sexual, Ben holding her lightsaber in front of him with her hands in handcuffs. Oofff.  Ryan made this scene as sexy as he could. Its so intimate. They want each other so bad. Rey whispers and leans in. Ben is so soft. His trying to hard to focus on his goal of killing Snoke and saving Rey. Rose is so salty “of course you do”. I feel like everyone puts up with Poe because he’s hot,  because he’s a dick. Another failed plan. Yeah Leia get him! I love that she just shoots. Her daughter surrendering is really funny. Leia and Holdo are so cute I hope they made out one night really drunk when they were younger that was ,y first thought when they held hands. I absolutely love Holdo’s hair. Reys outfit in the throne room is so cool. She’s so strong, Ben is trying so hard to keep it together in the back. Theres no way Snoke bridged their minds. Ben got so scared when he said that. “No” she’s so strong. Ben looks so sad. Oscar Issacs ass is fine! John is really good in this scene and Rose’s scream is terrifying. Murder in Bens eyes. Its really scary that Snoke has so much control over Rey. Rey with Bens saber is all I ever needed. Bens gloved fingers are v sexy. Also THAT FLICK! When they look at each other they know, there in love. THIS FIGHT IS EVERYTHING! When DJ saids “maybe” I felt that. They are so powerful together. I love watching them fight together, can’t wait for the 9! Ben fighting off 3 guards is so hot. Rey dropping her saber and backhanding ir is really hot. Wow this moment is so intense its so quiet. Im so mad Ben didn’t stop the fleet though. The way he saids Rey, why are both of their voices so hot. I need Rey to tell him off in the next movie the way he’s telling off her parents. “Please” murders me. Rey is so smart, she knows he isn’t good yet. This is Rey’s moment of “I know what I have to do” Its crazy that Rose and Finn almost died by being beheaded! The silent part is so beautiful. Why was Phasma so far away? BB-8 in that thing is pretty weird though. Finn is so powerful. He’s super reckless in this film. Rose is so good I want to be her and slide hug her. “Rebel scum” is such a good line. Snokes lower body falling off the throne is super graphic. Ben is so mad Rey left. I can’t wait to see more of soft Ben, I don’t like him choking Hux even though its Hux. Rose and Finn are very lucky they made it below that door. I think everyone always thinks of Rose and Finn as cute and funny, but they are honestly serious and smart. So many people died in this movie. I don’t understand how they aren’t wearing goggles if its salt, they would be crying right now. This run takes a lot more time then it is distance wise. Its so pretty though, so I don’t care. Rey and Chewy saving the day is my favorite thing. “Wooh I like this!” so cute. I love watching Rey shoot. The crystal creatures are so pretty. Finn no! Yes Rose! “I saved you… dummy. Thats how were gonna win, not fighting what we hate, saving what we love.” Rose is right everyone! Listen up! Why does Ben say “no prisoners”, maybe he is bad? I love Reylo I don’t understand I believe in Ben. Is he lying to himself? Could he actually kill his mother? Luke and Leia are so sweet. Also their conversation about Ben makes everything more confusing, so he’s not gone? Aw Luke kissing Leia’s forehead is really sweet. Lukes wink is funny. This music is so good. Finn taking care of Rose is my favorite thing. The editing is so beautiful. Rey in snow >>>> Also “Lifting rocks” how does she know thats what normal Jedi start training with? Ben is such a baby in this scene, he’s so upset. I love that Rey and Finn normalize intimate friendship. Ben is the truest definition of a ‘Dark Prince’ if Ive ever seen one. I’m really glad Luke died here, its time, the sunset it really nice. 

Bens eyes say it all here. Chewy and Leia so sweet. Reys smile is so AWW. Finn putting a blanket on Rose is the best. Rey knows she’s thinking about Ben. “We have everything we need” I bet Leia had a big part in 9 I’m so sad Carrie is gone :(

This last scene with the kids is really the perfect ending, HOPE.

[postedbygaslight]

You’ll Be the One to Turn - Part 12: The Pilot

And here he is, everyone’s favorite “best pilot in the Resistance,” Mr. Poe Dameron:

“But, sir! If the load lifters’ binary language circuits aren’t reset to the default dialect, they’ll continue to deliver their loads to the wrong entrances! It would present a serious supply chain interruption and Princess Leia will—“

“Hey! That’s a great idea! You should take this to Leia.”

“But, General, the princess is no longer—“

“Threepio, if you don’t stop talking to me about the damn load lifters, I’m going to kill myself.”

“Well, I never! I’m only ever trying to be of help, the nerve of some people,” Threepio trailed off as he clattered off down the corridor.

Poe Dameron didn’t watch the droid leave; it was easy enough to know what Threepio was chattering about as he disappeared down the hall: a litany of self-pity, imagined slights, and decades of grievances. Why droids were programmed with such irritating idiosyncrasies, Poe would never understand. But maybe that was the point. Maybe droids needed to be more human to keep from making mistakes.

Poe returned his attention to the reports he had been scanning when Threepio came banging his way into the command center, yammering about obscure machine languages. He reviewed them one by one, each telling a similar story: encouraging signs of unrest against the First Order, but little enthusiasm for organized rebellion.

Each of the documents took far longer to digest and approve than he cared for. Being in command was all he’d ever wanted, having grown up on Yavin IV in the company of Alliance war heroes. But the reality of leading was less attractive than its billing. Most days, Poe wished he could just pass off command to someone else so he could go back to piloting an X-Wing full time. Though, he thought, if he was still just a pilot, he’d probably be chafing under command decisions he didn’t agree with, and the cycle would continue.

His job, as it was, had taken unexpected turns over the previous months. Leia had passed command to him much sooner than he would have expected. And the fight he’d expected to be leading was nothing like he’d envisioned. The First Order was no longer as constant a presence in the core systems as they’d been even a month before, and their troop deployments were more scattershot than was typical. It made Poe nervous. The conflict should be escalating. Instead, it seemed like the First Order was in the midst of a controlled retreat.

But it wasn’t like the Resistance was ready for a showdown. The fleet was nowhere near fighting form, constituted primarily of decommissioned Imperial ships, half-junked freighters, two dozen X-Wings of somewhat dubious flight readiness, and ancillary vessels that lacked a cruiser to support. Worse than that, the First Order had been broadcasting to the galaxy that the Battle of Crait had been a total victory, and that the Resistance had been wiped out.

It was a development neither Poe nor Leia had anticipated. Like the Empire, the First Order didn’t typically suffer any kind of defiance, regardless of its size. But since Crait, Poe felt like he was leading a movement in search of a cause. They took every precaution to makes sure they weren’t discovered— Vedic III was chosen precisely because it would be hard to find— but Poe couldn’t shake the feeling that their enemies weren’t even looking for them. And that troubled him more than relentless pursuit.

As he looked around the command center, Poe considered that the First Order might have a point: it was almost like they didn’t exist. What had been a small, but capable fleet had been utterly destroyed after Crait. A private army of two thousand, well funded, with connections in the New Republic, the Resistance had been a serious threat to First Order operations. But, more than that, it had been something Snoke couldn’t afford to ignore because of one very important distinction: it was led by the sister of Luke Skywalker. The last of the Jedi.

Now Luke was dead. And instead of two thousand, the Resistance barely numbered two hundred. And whatever support was coming, it was coming because of the story of Luke facing down the First Order alone, giving his life for the cause, and, crucially, leaving behind an heir to his powers and teachings. And the girl who was meant to be the symbol of their fight might have died in the training yard yesterday. It was a problem he couldn’t afford to ignore any longer.

“Lieutenant,” Poe called across the room, “has anyone seen Rey?”

Lieutenant Connix looked up from her terminal as though she’d been startled awake.

“Uhm,” she started, glancing around, “I think I heard someone say she was going to see Leia.”

“How long ago was that?”

“I don’t know, sir.”

Poe squinted and pinched the bridge of his nose. He glanced back at the last report he’d read, and an idea suddenly flashed through his mind.

“Hey, Connix, come here a second.”

The young officer, who still kept her hair in tight buns on either side of her head, stood up from her terminal and crossed to where Poe was sitting.

“Yes, General?”

“Cut it with the ‘General’ stuff. It’s me. Poe,” he said with a smile, motioning for her to sit.

“Sorry,” she stuttered, sitting in the chair next to him. “I’ll try to remember, sir— uh, I mean, Poe.”

“We intercepted a coded message on the First Order’s emergency channel. Normally, I wouldn’t be too interested, but this one was picked up immediately by high command.”

Connix crinkled her nose. “That is odd.”

Poe leaned forward, his elbows on his knees.

“Yeah. It is. I don’t like it. The First Order codex. Didn’t we keep a record of when D.J. hacked it?”

“Sir, that codex changes hourly. Er, uh, Poe. I meant Poe.”

“But we could use the record as a road map to hack it again.”

“That’s,” Connix began, nervously fidgeting with her hands, “not really how it works. Or, maybe it does, but not the way you’re thinking.”

“So you can’t do it.”

“I didn’t say— I could maybe—“

“Kaydel,” he said, getting her attention.

“What did you call me?”

“Your name. Kaydel.”

Connix stopped fidgeting.

“I know you can do this. I believe in you.”

“A-all right. General. I mean, sir. I mean— damn it.”

Poe gave her a warm smile, and then turned back to his terminal. He was about to power down and head out to the tarmac when he saw Rey through the windows of the command center, passing down the hall from Leia’s room.

“Rey!” he yelled.

She stopped, and looked at him through the window. Poe got up and crossed to the door, leaning around into the hall.

“Hey, I was looking for you. Can we talk for a minute?”

“Sure.”

Rey turned back down the hall, and into the command center. Poe motioned her into he adjoining office, and he followed behind, closing the door.

“What is it, Poe?”

“First off, how are you feeling?”

Rey sighed and crossed her arms.

“I’m fine.”

“Whoa. Sorry.”

“No,” Rey said, letting her hands drop to her sides. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t— thank you for the concern. I’m fine.”

“Okay. Good.”

“You needed something?”

“I just want to get an idea of what’s going on here.”

“Meaning?”

Poe put his hands on his hips and leaned in slightly, trying not to seem overly agitated. He wasn’t sure it was working. And he knew Rey could sense his anxiety, which wasn’t making matters better.

“We’ve been on this moon for over a month. And you’ve been, what? Running supply missions? Reconnaissance?”

“They’re missions that need done. I do them. What’s this about?”

“‘What’s this about?’” he repeated back, letting out a frustrated laugh. “I don’t need you to run supply missions. I have people to do that.”

Rey crossed her arms again, and her eyes narrowed.

“Is there something you want to say to me? Because if there is, I’d rather just have it out.”

“Fine. We’ve been hanging on by our fingertips out here. People don’t even think we exist. We’ve gotten traction mostly because the story about Luke facing down Kylo and the First Order has caught on. But for that to keep up, we need the Jedi Order. And that’s supposed to be you.”

“It’s not just something I can snap my fingers and make happen,” Rey said, her voice rising. “What am I supposed to do? A traveling show where I tell fortunes and make things float?”

“Maybe. I don’t know. I’m not supposed to be the one that knows these things. You are.”

“It’s not like Luke left a manual for me with step-by-step instructions.”

“That’s not what I hear.”

“Oh, and what do you hear?”

“That you have some Jedi scripture or something. Some texts. Books with information we could use.”

“I suppose you’d like to try reading them, then. Do you think they’re in standard Aurebesh? They’re in some language that’s probably been dead for five thousand years. Not even Threepio could read them.”

Poe had to laugh. C3PO had just been in here complaining about not being able to talk to load lifters because of their accents, and imagining him trying to read sacred religious texts was more than just comedy. It was farce.

“What I’m hearing is an explanation without a plan,” Poe said, trying his best to keep his frustration from boiling over into real anger. He felt less in control than he was accustomed to, and he couldn’t shake the feeling that she was doing something to make him more uneasy. “Are you with us? Because I get the feeling that you’re just here because you have nowhere else to go.”

Rey’s expression hardened, but there was real hurt in her eyes. She took a few calming breaths, and responded.

“All right. This is the part where you say you’re under a lot of stress, and you didn’t mean that, and you take that back.”

“No, I don’t think so. You’re the last Jedi. As in the only one. And yesterday, you keeled over like you were a green recruit. What do we do if something happens to you? Huh?”

“Poe. I fainted. It was stupid to train in the heat like that for so long. I grew up in the desert. I ought to know better.”

“That’s not what worries me. What worries me is that you’ve been acting like you’re an engineer. Or a freighter pilot. You’ve been training against droids that don’t have safety protocols—“

“They’re too easy to beat otherwise.”

“That’s my point! Why are you fighting droids at all? You should be out there, we should be out there, taking the fight to the First Order! You should be leading. Instead, you’re out in the training yard fighting droids that wouldn’t have hesitated to kill you when you passed out.”

“Well, it’s a good thing I’d beaten them all by then.”

“And what about next time?”

“Who says there’s going to be a next time?”

“I don’t want to have to worry that there will be!”

A silence fell between them, as though some kind of gauntlet had been dropped, and they were both waiting for the other to pick it up.

“Maybe you ought to stop pinning all your hopes on me,” Rey said with a calm resolve. But Poe could see her composure was slipping, and he wasn’t sure what to make of that. “I’m doing what I can. I’m trying to figure out what I’m supposed to do. I’m trying to keep myself from losing my mind while I try to understand what the Force wants from me. I’ve got unreadable books and a broken lightsaber and no one to help me.”

Her mention of the broken lightsaber reminded him that she still hadn’t been debriefed about what happened on the Supremacy. Poe’s uneasiness sharpened, and he couldn’t help but feel that she was reading his thoughts right then and there. Rey took a half step toward him, and gestured down toward the corridor.

“If you need someone to inspire your cause, you’ve got her. She’s right down the hall, and she’s twice the woman I’ll ever be.”

“Rey, Leia’s dying.”

“What?”

“Dying. She doesn’t have much time.”

They’d known for weeks. Leia might have known longer. But it didn’t change the fact that the tumors were inoperable. And it didn’t change the fact that radiation sickness was slowly sapping her of her strength. It was anyone’s guess which would overwhelm her first, but both diagnoses carried the same promise: death, and soon.

“When she got blown out of the bridge on the Raddus, she should have died. She didn’t. We were very lucky. But she was in deep space for over two minutes. That kind of radiation doesn’t come without consequences. Leia might be one of a kind, but she’s still only human.”

Poe could see that Rey wasn’t prepared for that news. Good, he thought. Maybe this would spur her to action. And even if it didn’t, at least Poe wasn’t carrying this secret alone anymore. Not that it could be a secret much longer.

“Rey,” he continued, trying to bridge a span between urgency and inspiration, “we don’t have the luxury of waiting. I can’t put together an army to fight the First Order if we don’t have a cause worth fighting for.”

“If you don’t have a cause worth fighting for without me standing in front of you with a lightsaber,” Rey said slowly, and it looked like she was struggling to keep from letting the depth of her emotions show, “then the problem’s with you, not me. I’m not going to rush out and recruit students, or padawans, or whatever, if I don’t have a clue what I’m doing. You’re a pilot. Imagine starting a flight academy when you know how to fly, but not how to land.”

“Listen to me. I’m sorry if I seem harsh. But I have people who count on me. And they look to you as the light that’ll lead us into battle. And you could have died yesterday. Where would that leave us?”

“What do you want? Tell me. What should I do?”

He took a step toward her, his face becoming hard and serious.

“Start doing things because you can do them. Not because someone told you how.”

And that was that. Rey’s expression went cold and blank, her eyes glassed with angry tears.

“Are we done?”

“Yeah,” Poe said, motioning for the door. “I guess we are.”

***

Poe returned to the command center after Rey left, but not before spending some time thinking through exactly what to do about the Jedi girl in his camp. She was an invaluable asset, to be sure. And if she could get with the program, she could be the one thing that would turn the tide.

But she also painted them with a very bright target. Eventually, he was sure, the First Order would come for her. And when that happened, he didn’t know if they’d be able to protect her. More than that, he wondered if it was worth it at all.

He sighed and rubbed his temples, drifting over to where Connix was seated.

“Any luck?”

“Not with the codex, but I did find this.”

Poe leaned over her shoulder and looked at the screen.

“What the hell?”

“I know.”

“Keep this between us for now.”

“Yes, sir. I mean, Poe.”

Poe didn’t respond. What were those structures? And the orbital station? What was the First Order doing on Naboo?

[scribomaniac]

A Matter of Time

[T-minus 24 hours] Light speed, light speed, light speed, Finn kept thinking over and over again as Poe and Rose spoke in hushed voices. They followed us through light speed. “They’re following us,” he said, just barely a whisper. He reached out and grabbed onto Poe’s arm—something strong enough to steady his fear—and immediately the other man’s attention was on him. “They’re following us.” “Yeah buddy,” Poe replied slowly, reaching up an arm of his own to squeeze Finn’s elbow. “We know that.” His brows furrowed and his eyes looked him over, trying to find any injury, any lasting effect of his coma that might be hindering his cognitive process. Finn shook his head and tightened his grip, “No, I mean, yes but—They’re following us. This ship! That’s how they’re doing it!” “Active tracking!” Rose shouted, her outburst surprising even herself. Gripping her necklace, she continued at a much lower volume, “Active tracking. They must have a tracker on their ship.” She crossed her arms over her chest, slowly becoming more and more uncomfortable with the attention they were giving her. “A powerful one, too. But that’s,” she frowned, “that’s still impossible...isn’t it? Through light speed, I mean—this’ll change—” “It’s the First Order,” Poe said grimly, cutting her off before her train of thought went too far down that dark tunnel.  If the First Order could track the Resistance through lightspeed… it wasn’t good.  They depended on lightspeed to strike their targets and then escape.  Guerrilla war tactics, Finn had once heard Captain Phasma sneer.  Without that edge of surprise, that ability to hit and run, then the fight was over. “I wouldn’t put it past them.” Vaguely, Finn realized that he was still holding onto Poe, and that Poe was still holding onto him. He wondered if he should let go, give the man some space. But then Poe’s eyes met his and the thought immediately vanished from his mind. Leaning in closer, he said, “We need to shut it down.” A million questions ran through Finn’s mind; most of them starting with what or how. It didn’t seem possible. To even shut the tracker down, they’d have to first get on The Supremacy. The Supremacy. Supreme Leader Snoke’s personal vessel. It was impossible. Impossible. But, a small voice in the back of Finn’s head reminded him, so was infiltrating Star Killer base. Infiltrating and surviving it. “I can do it.” Rose said. Her arms were no longer crossed over her chest, and instead were hanging by her side.  It was the first time Finn had seen her look so still, so confident.  When he’d first met her, she was so star struck by him-- him , a nobody, an ex-Stormtrooper--he’d understood why she’d chosen her position as a mechanic for the Resistance.  Down in the machinery of the ships, there was less chance of running into people, less chance of stumbling over words or saying the wrong thing, and many places to hide.  Now though, it was like looking at a completely different person.   Rose’s eyes flared with determination and her hands balled into fists.  She wasn’t hiding now, and she didn’t stutter as she said, “I can turn the tracker off. I know it.” Her eyes flickered back and forth between the two men, daring either of them to challenge her. Poe nodded slowly, his brows still furrowed, but Finn could see the light burning behind his eyes. He’d seen that fire before, right before he’d said the words that changed his life forever: “We’re gonna do this.” “Finn, do you know the layout of Snoke’s ship? Would you be able to get to the tracker?” Finn thought back to the days when he called The Supremacy home, when he’d shared a bunk in the barracks with two other fledgling Stormtroopers. It’d been a few years since he’d last set foot on the Mega-class Star Dreadnaught, but he still remembered it all like he’d been there just the other day. He nodded. “We still need to get on the ship,” Finn said, almost desperately. He wasn’t desperate for them to stop, though. No, his desperation came from the slow tremor of hope building its way up his belly and into his chest. He knew that light, knew that fire. He knew Poe. He’d know what to do, what to say, what was needed, “You need a pilot.” He knew then, just like he knew now. Poe  brushed his lower lip with his thumb, thinking. Then, snapping his fingers, he said, “BB-8!” Looking down at his droid, Poe let go of Finn and dropped down to look into its eye. “Buddy!” He rubbed BB-8’s metal sides as if it were a pet. BB-8 warbled and beeped its binary language rapidly, rolling forwards and backwards almost frenetically, obviously worried about whatever its master was about to propose. “You can do it, BB-8. I know you can.” More beeping and swaying, this time it sounded suspicious.  Poe talked to it in hushed tones, gently coaxing it to see his point of view, to agree with his idea.  Then, after a moment of silence, BB-8 whistled with an almost shy agreeance. “That’s what I’m talkin’ about!”  Poe exclaimed. Springing up to his feet, Poe beamed like a proud parent, “BB-8 can get us on the ship.” Finn looked down at the small droid, a bit skeptical. BB-8 looked back up at him defiantly. Not wanting to get shocked twice in one night, he decided to just take Poe for his word. “But wait,” Rose shifted her weight from foot to foot as she tried to quell the rush of adrenaline in her veins, “what about the Vice Admiral? No way will Holdo approve this.” Lips thinning to a straight line and jaw tightening, Poe decided, “It’ll be a need to know mission.  She doesn’t.”  Finn didn’t know anything about this Vice-Admiral woman, but it seemed like Rose and Poe did, if only a little.  Based off their behavior, though, they didn’t seem to feel any sense of loyalty to her, or any trust.  And if Poe didn’t trust her, then neither would Finn. He looked at Finn while he said it, and Finn nodded in agreeance immediately. They held each other’s gaze for a moment longer before Poe winced, realizing something, and looked away, “That means I’ll have to stay here, then.” “What?” Finn asked, blinking dumbly. “Why?” “I’m too high ranking to go missing without permission.” Poe rubbed the back of his neck nervously. Finn felt there was something more to it, but—his eyes flickered over to Rose, the girl he’d just met and barely knew—didn’t push. “I’ll stay here,” Poe said again, slower this time and continuing with a definitive nod, “and make sure they don’t catch wind of what we’re doing.” “Good idea,” Rose said, biting down on her bottom lip while her hand clenched around the charm on her necklace again. “How much time left until we run out of fuel?” BB-8 whirred in answer, “Less than twenty four hours,” Poe translated. “Okay,” Rose said, her knuckles white against her necklace. “Okay. Then we better get moving.” Snapping her attention to Finn, she said, “Grab whatever you need and meet me back by the escape pods in thirty minutes.” She stepped away, getting as far as the door, then turned back around and added, “And don’t try to run away again.” Poe waited until they could no longer hear the tapping of her feet against the metal floors before asking, “What does that mean? Running away? Again?” Finn gulped and looked down at the cloaked binary beacon still wrapped around his wrist. He felt a little guilty about it, now. When he’d woken up before, he’d thought only of Rey and making sure she was okay. That she was safe. The last thing he’d remembered were flashes of snow, Rey, and danger. They’d been on Star Killer base and Kylo Ren was after them. And he’d...he’d picked up the lightsaber. As if he were some sort of hero or something. Then he remembered the pain. A med-droid had filled him in on the gaps: Kylo Ren had taken the lightsaber and sliced into his back, tearing through his muscles and burning each bone along his spinal column as he shoved the ex-Stormtrooper back into his place. Finn vaguely remembered the sensation, the blazing pain along his back, just briefly, before everything turned black. When he’d woken up, he thought it had all been a dream. Some strange, fantastical dream. His back felt perfectly fine, even. He felt warm and safe for the first time in his life.  He’d felt so relaxed, so at peace, that he’d even kept his eyes closed for a bit, allowed himself to continue to rest. It had barely lasted ten minutes before memories of Star Killer base had returned to him, and he’d shot out of bed with Rey’s name on his lips. He’d been thinking about Rey and only Rey. Poe hadn’t even entered his mind when he’d grabbed his things and made for the escape pod. The revelation hit him harder than any Dreadnaught shot, and left a nasty taste in his mouth. “I was trying,” he started, then frowned and shook his head. His gaze was still locked on the beacon on his wrist, “I just wanted—” he cut himself off again. Anything he’d say now would just sound like an excuse. Rose was right, he was a coward. A hand, rough and scarred from more battles, ship maintenance and explosions, curled around Finn’s wrist, and his dark eyes snapped up to Poe’s. “Rey,” he whispered. His lips were thin and bloodless, strained as he bit back whatever thoughts wanted to spill out of his mouth. His eyes, though, they were soft and far more understanding than anyone in the pilot’s shoes should be. The sight made Finn’s heart clench and mouth feel as though it were suddenly filled with bile. “You we’re trying to keep her safe.” Finn nodded, feeling as though he’d lost the ability to speak lifetimes ago. He was a coward, a traitor, he was selfish and terrible and— “I understand,” Poe said, making all the thoughts rushing through Finn’s head come to an immediate halt. How’d he do it? Finn wondered. How could he forgive him? Understand him? He made it seem so easy. Releasing a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, Finn tried to think of something to say. Something to make it all better—coward, traitor, selfish—he looked down at Poe’s fingers, still wrapped around his wrist. His pulse throbbed visibly through his skin, pounding away and making the beacon twitch ever so slightly. “Here,” he just barely grounded out, his shaky fingers ripping the beacon off his wrist and pressing it into Poe’s hand. Eyes widening, Poe shook his head and tried to give it back, but Finn persisted, “No, please, I—I need you to hold onto it. I need it to be safe.” I know you’ll keep her safe, went unsaid, but as their gazes held, Finn tried to to convey that thought, that belief. Brow furrowing, Poe nodded. His Adam’s Apple bobbled as he swallowed, the movement drawing away Finn’s eye. Beacon carefully clasped in one hand, Poe placed both hands on Finn’s shoulders, “I won’t let you down, buddy.” Coward, traitor, selfish —Finn nodded, keeping his thoughts on Poe before him, on the mission before him. It grounded his thoughts, just enough for him to nod and say, “Me neither.” Poe pulled him closer, his tongue darting out to wet his bottom lip nervously.  They were only a breath apart now, so close to embracing like they did that day on D’Qar, after they both realized the other was still alive. Poe looked like wanted to say something, or do something, but Finn—watching frozen with wide eyes—didn’t know which.   “You two done yet?” Rose’s voice broke through the trance. Finn blinked, startled—had it been a half hour already?—and tried to step away. Poe held fast though, his fingers clenching into the leather of his old jacket, and glared softly over his shoulder at Rose. Unperturbed by his stare, she added, “Just kiss already and let’s go!” Brows furrowing, Finn frowned and looked between the two official members of the Resistance They were still staring each other down; Rose’s lips twitched, almost like she wanted to laugh, while Poe looked almost murderous, his face flushed red with what Finn assumed was anger or frustration. “Yeah,” Finn said, breaking the silence and the stare down with one word. “Yeah, let’s go.” He grabbed his pack and turned to follow Rose when Poe’s hand shot out and grabbed his forearm.  “Poe?” He asked after a few seconds of silence. Taking a deep breath through his nose, Poe slowly let go of him. Clearing his throat, he said, “Just—” he stopped and shook his head, “Bring BB-8 back to me, all right?” Looking down at the droid briefly, Finn’s mouth set into a determined line, “I will. I promise.”