#ji kang

[studyinglogic]

Idiosyncratic thoughts on music IV: the melancholy tinge and the transformation of emotion

One of my friends once commented that most of the songs I enjoyed had a melancholy tinge. That's almost true; I'd rather say that most of the songs I enjoy are melancholic with a hopeful (or at least transformative) ending. These are sad songs, but by the end of the song the sadness is changed into something else.

This tendency perhaps comes from the fact that music for me is almost always functional (with some notable exceptions, like Erik Satie's music), there to do things---mostly to transform emotions, to get into or out of certain moods. This has sometimes led to me worrying that I'm appreciating music wrong, that there must be something that I'm missing. But perhaps this worry is misguided: of course, such an attitude would be reprehensible in the case of my relationships with persons (no person can be reduced to a single emotion), but it's perfectly understandable in the case of listening to music.

So the music I enjoy most is music which transform anxiety and sadness into something different: wry acceptance, irony, joy, happiness, trying, effort, activity, stillness, an affirmation of life. Some examples:

flora cash, A Good Childhood: a childhood may not be great, but one can still look back on it without resentment. "I was always running from my own love . . . I really could've used your company."

Oasis, Stop Crying Your Heart Out: their most sublime song.

AJR: "I'm not dead yet, so I guess I'll be alright" (from Way Less Sad and OK Overture). Examples abound, really. One could include Adventure is Out There, Humpty Dumpty, and Bang.

half·alive: RUNAWAY, What's Wrong, Make of It. "My past is what I make of it . . . like these new shoes, I'll break them in. Old best friends, I'll pray for them; all my friends, I'll pray for them."

Wallows, Do Not Wait: the bleak assessment of life as "most times, humiliating" ultimately changes into a realisation that we don't know what's to come. "Something you'll want to forget" is changed into "something you'll always remember."

Kanzaki Iori, Hated by Life Itself: one simply keeps trying, even if one doesn't know why.

Yorushika, Say It: sadness over the past while realising how one can be positively affected by it.

Even when the sadness isn't changed into something else, I enjoy songs where the sadness is questioned---in other words, when it's just starting to be transformed.

There is an interesting similarity here between "lovely" by Eilish & Khalid and "I am a Rock" by Simon & Garfunkel. Both ostensibly champion the benefits of self-sufficiency ("Isn't it lovely being alone?" and "A rock feels no pain"). But both also ultimately undercut it: clearly, the songs suggest, it's not lovely being alone ("I hope someday I'll make it out of here") and being a rock is ultimately deadening.

There are exceptions, music I enjoy in which sadness is described and never transformed. I like "These Days" by Jackson Browne (my favourite version is by Nico), which ends with a realistically plaintive cry:

Please don't confront me with my failures; I have not forgotten them.

Music is joy; music is the transformation of emotions. Xunzi argues that the best music is that which leads to self-transformation, to becoming a better person. "Sounds and music enter into people deeply and transform people quickly." I certainly agree there. (One might go further and say, with Ji Kang: otherwise it's decadence. But I don't go that far.)

Even just being able to describe the emotion---just knowing someone else has felt it and sung about it and set it to music---can be a comfort. To adapt a remark from Proust: sadness, at the moment when it is changed into music, loses some part of its power to injure the heart; the transformation itself, even, for an instant, releases suddenly a little joy.

[denisaiko]

The fantasy Chinese pack.

[khellel]

BTS? I like them too. Dynamite is great, I like Spring Day, though. I like Spring Day, too!

[itsza]

kang yohan moments that live in my head rent free pt 2/?

[agentmilayawithshield]

I love how Jihyuk traveled back in time and decided he's never minding his own business ever again.

[1liv]

PARK MIN-YOUNG as KANG JI-WON in Marry My Husband: Episode 9

[yilinglaozu]

[moon-yean]

He asked her to make him adore you.

[anotherfanaccount]

The dating era begins😌🎊🤧🥰😘

[kdramastrix]

I have. Something to talk about and its very very VERY important.

We know that last scene of TDJ where its just PEAK yearning but can we PLEASE appreciate the micro-expressions that passed over both Yohan & Gaon's faces when they faced each other DIRECTLY after a MONTH (if im not wrong) of that whole blowing up fiasco + Yohan's arrest before that??????? Because my GOD.

So we see Gaon call Yohan by his Full Government Name™ (which wasn't very wise for a declared dead enemy of the state who is ALSO wanted but we'll let it pass for romanticisms' sake) and look at his face. His face is one of a scared man. He's not hesitant but he is afraid of how Yohan views him after what transpired between them.

In turn, Yohan looks back and well.

He is also somewhat apprehensive. They're both testing each other & the waters they're in. Although Yohan doesn't have a revenge vendetta shackling him down anymore, Gaon, on the other hand, has tremendous stuff to unpack. They're carefully, if not gently, evaluating the distance between them.

And then, Yohan gives a clear sign that he holds nothing against Gaon. An open arm, an open invitation. To join him? Maybe. To decide what to do with them? Perhaps. It's vague but it's also clear that Yohan is done manipulating Gaon & that he has left the ball in Gaon's court.

Then come the positive changes. With Yohan's green signal, Gaon is somewhat relieved but also incredibly guilt-ridden. I think these frames speak for themselves.

The wet smile & the eye crinkles. He is so relieved to be in Yohan's good graces but also just looking at Yohan be his ever glowing self after serving his life's purpose.

Yohan. My dearest Yohan. Look at him. He's equally heart-broken to be seeing Gaon like this, to be leaving him behind but that little nod he does???? Like he's made a decision that he needs to stick with for the betterment of Gaon???? That's what truly gets me. It's so clear the distance between them is hurting him but he also knows that it's necessary to give Gaon space & time, to unravel & to explore things on his own. Perhaps another assumption on his part because who truly knows what Gaon wants except Gaon himself?

Then it's a brief look exchanged. As he turns, giving Gaon one last reassuring smile as he turns and leaves behind one of the most important people to him.

And gaon watches. Look at his micro-expressions here. Look at his breathing. His sagging shoulders. His eyes. His wet smile. His balled hands. His tiny nods.

He also thinks this is necessary but you can so clearly see its taking every bit of nerve & fiber in him to stay rooted to his place & not chase after Yohan. He's DELIBERATELY not taking a single step towards Yohan. He thinks he doesn't deserve to chase after him, that hes content to see Yohan: alive, well and so utterly free. That's all that matters.

I would genuinely like to appreciate both jinyoung and jisung for their acting bcs they NAILED the raw emotions needed for this absolutely stunning yet gut wrenching scene. It's so difficult to convey such complex emotions through such little means yet they did it to PERFECTION. They both gave their characters LIFE. And for that i will always be grateful bcs i dont think anyone else could've done Kang Yohan and Kim Gaon the way they did.

[alifelivedtwiceover]

There's something so selfless about the way in which Ji Hyuk is in love with Jiwon. It feels closer to devotion and worship than the usual romantic love. For me, its all in the eyes. The way he looks at her. My God. I am longing for you. I am yearning for you. I know you. I want to know you more. I am drawn to you. I cannot stop. I am so sorry I let you slip away the first time. Never again. Nothing matters more to me than you. My nightmares are made of being separated from you but your happiness matters more to me than my fear. But. If you say I am your happiness. Then I am yours. Let me save you. Oh? You want to save yourself? Then, at least, let me be the solid land you stand on. I love you so much I am content just looking at you. Even if my eyes give me away. I am content just being around you. Everything I do and everything I am, yours.

I think that is the purest, almost unattainable form of love. Maybe that is why it took two lifetimes to get it right. To want someone so much that you would do something so counterintuitive and difficult so as to hold yourself back. She is his whole world. And yet, he was willing to let her go.

I am in love with you. It goes on and on and on and it never goes away.

[inpursuitofnunchi]

Yu Ji Hyuk is that man who will pretend his ass off just so he can be babied by his girl. Ugh i love him.

[magicaldragons]

peak romance is saying "be on my side"

"All I wanted, was for you to be on my side. I would've done anything for that to happen." – kang yohan | the devil judge

"Hit me all you want, but be on my side; because even when you hit me, it's for my sake." – nam shin | are you human too?

"I thought you were on my side." – ryu shi oh | strong girl namsoon bonus: "no matter what, you must stay by my side." – ryu shi oh | strong girl nam soon

[khellel]

I want to be your solid ground - Yoo Ji Hyuk (Marry My Husband)

[taeminie]

To My Star 2: Our Untold Stories 2022, dir. Hwang Da Seul

[agentmilayawithshield]