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virtual-lara · 5 years ago

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FHM - Rhona Mitra Interview

Interview appeared in the November 1997 issue of FHM magazine. Article was written up on fansite 'The Tomb Raider Archive'. VL Note: This interview is long and it is full of awful non-gaming questions with some cringey answers, but it was conducted in 1997 for a mens magazine.

Sex and videogames don't usually mix too well. Indeed, the popular view is that men who play them have such poor complexions and social skills that they've been forced to replace the pleasures of the flesh with bashing the hell out of pixellated monsters. In short, successful users of the chat-up line "I've top scored on Story Of Thor 2" are few and far between.

However, there is one exception to the rule. In November 1996, Tomb Raider appeared, featuring the adventures of Lara Croft. The premise of the game was that Lara, the daughter of an English aristocrat, had decided to forego her inheritance in favour of travelling around the world in search of ancient artefacts. As with most adventure games, this involved plenty of running, jumping, swimming and shooting. But unlike other games, its central character became the computer world's first sex symbol, and Lara Croft quickly catapulted Tomb Raider to the top of the games charts. With her ample chest and powerful thighs, Lara was created as the gamer's ultimate fantasy figure and the strategy worked.

Now, for the imminent release of the sequel, Tomb Raider 2, Lara is made flesh. And fortunately for us, it's in the form of 22-year-old actress Rhona Mitra, a woman sexy enough to equal the charms of the video character. As well as appearing in the press campaign for Tomb Raider 2, Rhona has recorded an album as Lara (produced by ex-Eurythmics guitarist Dave Stewart), from which the single, Getting Naked, is to be released next month. There is even talk of a Tomb Raider movie, for which Rhona ought to be a shoe-in for the lead role - a heady jump from her last big part, playing a teenage seductress in Jilly Cooper's The Man Who Made Husbands Jealous.

So, to celebrate the arrival of the new sexiest woman in Britain, what did we do? Take lots of fantastic pictures of her? Of course. Ask her a shed-load of questions about what it's like to play a character invented to satisfy the libido if a twenty-something programmer? Certainly. But first we took her to London's Trocadero centre to see if she could cut the mustard in the original gaming arena - an amusement arcade.

The truth is, she's pretty adept. She powers past three (male) opponents on an arm wrestling machine, gives a credible display at dynamo-hockey and is equally at ease bombing about on the virtual skate-boards. Her strongest suit, though, is the bowling range. After a slow start, three spares in a row see her powering into the lead as FHM skew another ball into the gutter.Only two consecutive(and highly suspicious) zero scores in the last two rounds barred the way to victory. And perhaps not surprising for a woman who's beaten stiff competition to play the most lusted after computer game character of all time, she doesn't accept second place for long. "I let you win, you know," she smiles triumphantly.

FHM:

Games fans are notoriously obsessive. Are you ready to be pursued by blokes thinking that you really are Lara Croft?

Rhona Mitra:

After The Man Who Made Husbands Jealous I had a lot of bizarre fan mail. I remember receiving a beautifully-typed letter from twelve boys in Exeter asking if I'd marry them all. Apparently I was supposed to be shared on some kind of weekly rota system. I was thinking, "Hmm, two a day. How am I supposed to manage that?" And I've already had people post notes on the Lara Croft website thanking me for improving their sex-lives.

FHM:

And how exactly have they done that?

Rhona Mitra:

They get their girlfriends to dress up as Lara, like I do. Apparently, it works wonders for them - maybe it's the rubber outfit.

FHM:

Do you think it's scary that there are men out there fantasising over a computer-generated character?

Rhona Mitra:

No, because men will fantasise about anything. Compared to a sheep or whatever, I think Lara's quite a healthy fantasy. What's wrong with wanting to sleep with a computer-generated character? She's got a perfect figure after all.

FHM:

Talking of perfect figures, there was a story in the tabloids about you having a breast enlargement operation performed by your dad...

Rhona Mitra:

That was rubbish. My dad is a surgeon and he does do cosmetic surgery, but he doesn't perform breast operations. I don't think he was too bothered about it, though - apparently a load of people phoned up the hospital where he works, the next day asking for tits like Rhona Mitra.

FHM:

But you have had your breasts enlarged.

Rhona Mitra:

Yes, but my dad had nothing to do with it.

FHM:

Where does the name Mitra come from?

Rhona Mitra:

It's Indian - my dad is from Calcutta. But I'm also part Irish. It's a confusing heritage. I never know if want to be running across fields with no clothes on or sitting in the pub drinking Guinness.

FHM:

The Lara Croft single is called Getting Naked. When was the last time you were naked in a public place?

Rhona Mitra:

I don't think going starkers in a public place is especially commendable. You can go to Stringfellow's for that. Although they don't get it all off there, do they? The song is really about one night stands and a woman saying that she'll go so far but not the whole hog. Why does all frolicking have to end in penetration?

FHM:

Does Lara have sex, then?

Rhona Mitra:

I should bloody well hope so. I'm sure she wouldn't be the woman she is unless she did.

FHM:

You recorded half the album sailing down the Amazon in Dave Stewert's boat. If the boat had run aground, would you have been prepared to eat him in order to survive?

Rhona Mitra:

Hmm, he hasn't really got enough fat on him...

FHM:

That beard might have been a bit tough to chew as well. Maybe you could have stuck it on your face when you'd finished eating the rest of him.

Rhona Mitra:

I would have worn the beard proudly. It's a fine feature.

FHM:

You were expelled from two boarding schools. Naughty girl, were you?

Rhona Mitra:

No, I just had a problem with complying with the rules. I went to convent school and it was totally ridiculous. We weren't even allowed to go into town at the weekend. So we used to nick holy wine from the church and drink it in the potato patch at the back of the school. I remember one time me and a few girls ended up dancing in the garden at four in the morning, wearing nothing but wellington boots.

FHM:

Is that why they kicked you out?

Rhona Mitra:

No, that was for taking a sixth former's car and driving it down to the local boys' school. I was only about fourteen. I'd left stuffing under my bedsheets but one of my friends told on me and the headmistress tracked me down. They put me in this room with bars on the windows to punish me. I was stuck in there for a whole week with just a rosary for comfort, having my dinner brought in on trays. The only time I got out was to say confession to the school priest. After that, they booted me out. Then at the next school the other girls used to blame me whenever they got caught for something, so all the parents wrote in and said they didn't want me at the school. I crammed my exams in London and did fine.

FHM:

You recently said that Lara represents the woman of the future. So what is the woman of the future going to be like?

Rhona Mitra:

She'll be more robust. In order to be strong in the mind, women are going to have to build up their bodies. Having a big arse will be alright, having a big pair of breasts will be alright, as long as they exercise as well.

FHM:

We had a discussion in the office about men of the future, and we reckon that evolution will make their heads and penises bigger.

Rhona Mitra:

Sounds good to me.

FHM:

Okay. Let's test your credentials for playing Lara Croft. To start with, when was the last time you raided a tomb?

Rhona Mitra:

Er, I haven't. I only raid my friends' wardrobes. And my dad's drinks cabinet when I was a kid.

FHM:

Would you take on a bear unarmed?

Rhona Mitra:

I'd probably try and cuddle and sweet-talk it. I've charmed men worse than bears.

FHM:

Can you handle yourself in a fight?

Rhona Mitra:

Absolutely. I had the whole Swiss army after me once. I was skiing with friends and we were getting hassled by some guys who wanted us to dance. They ended up calling us dykes and then turned nasty. I kicked one in the ribcage. It turned out that he was with a load of Swiss army guys and they chased us up the road. We ran faster than them, though.

FHM:

Some Tomb Raider websites feature a nude Lara Croft. Would you ever emulate them and do Playboy?

Rhona Mitra:

I'd never say never. But not right now. It's not even negotiable.

FHM:

What about the orgasmic noises Lara makes when she bumps into walls? Have you been perfecting those?

Rhona Mitra:

Oh yes, of course. Listen. [Makes weird orgasmic noise not unlike "Uuh!"]

FHM:

Lara spends most of her time in caves full of gun-wielding nutters. What's the most dangerous situation you've been in?

Rhona Mitra:

I got buried under sand in Tunisia. I've just shot a film there called A Kid In The Arabian Knights. We were supposed to be mocking up this sandstorm and I was buried right up past my head, but I couldn't breathe because the sand was so heavy. I had to breath through a bamboo straw for about twenty minutes. The crew were getting their cameras up and I was screaming "Hurry the fuck up, I'm dying under here."

FHM:

Did you used to play computer games when you were growing up? I remember getting hooked Jet Set Willy on the ZX Spectrum.

Rhona Mitra:

I had an Atari. I used to play that tennis game where you had two bats at either end of the screen and had to try and keep the ball in play.

FHM:

You mean Pong!

Rhona Mitra:

That's the one. But I used to do a lot of things to entertain myself. Do you remember those portable tape recorders that had flat speakers on the top? I used to put a piece of cellophane on top of the speaker and crumble biscuits on top of it. I'd then play Super Trooper by Abba at full volume and watch the crumbs jump up and down with the vibrations.

FHM:

Blimey. You were easily pleased.

Rhona Mitra:

That's not all. I loved pouring yoghurt all over my dog and watching him lick it off himself. And when my parents had dinner parties I'd chop up his dog food into chunks, put cocktail sticks in it and then walk around the living room in a sari asking if anyone wanted hors d'oeuvres.

FHM:

The guests must have loved you. Have you carried any bizarre habits or phobias into adulthood?

Rhona Mitra:

I can't sit still. That's why I'm very difficult in a relationship. Men get jealous of me travelling - they don't understand that just because I disappear on my own doesn't mean I'm going to shag someone else.

FHM:

Have you always been faithful?

Rhona Mitra:

Always. But I can appreciate why people wouldn't be. It's like ice-cream - you can really love vanilla, but you still want to try some other flavours just to make sure that you really do love vanilla best. I haven;t actually been out with that many men. I've been in two relationships which have taken up five years of my life. The second one of those recently ended and since then I've concentrated on my work.

FHM:

What kind of man do you go for?

Rhona Mitra:

I like healthy-looking guys with good, clean skin. And I like men who have brains but are still very childish. Immature guys.

FHM:

Are you actually any good at Tomb Raider?

Rhona Mitra:

Yeah. I finished it in about two weeks.

FHM:

I heard that Bruce Willis has bought the rights to the Tomb Raider movie and that Demi Moore is pencilled in to play Lara. Could you have her?

Rhona Mitra:

Oh yeah, of course.

FHM:

Be careful. After filming GI Jane, she's quite buff these days.

Rhona Mitra:

So am I. And I'm younger than her. The idea of her playing Lara is sacrilege. She has to be a posh English girl with a stiff upper lip.

FHM:

Finally, elsewhere in this issue we discuss the phenomenon of lesbianism. Have you ever been tempted by the charms of another girl?

Rhona Mitra:

Any woman who says she hasn't isn't truly a woman. Even if you don't go as far as doing something physical, you should be able to appreciate the female form. Men are beautiful too, though.

All rights belong to FHM and/or their affiliated companies. I only intend to introduce people to old articles and preserve them before they are lost.

#Tomb Raider 2 #TR2 Interviews #All Interviews #VL Posts

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thebibliomancer · 5 years ago

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Dark Crystal Age of Resistance Tactics liveblog pt 13

Okay! Time to check out the Sifa!

Y'know, I think that the Sifa get the least exploration in the show. You've got several Vapra main characters, several Stonewood main or focus characters, couple Drenchen, a very main Grottan character, best boy Kylan the Spriton, whole bit of the show with the Dousan. And the Sifa have... I think... that time Brea visited them?

Probably why Alyadon was made a Sifa, so they have some presence.

Mission: Deep Trouble - Hidden Grotto

"A curious, young Sifa is under attack by darkened creatures. Save him from a grisly fate."

Ah, darkened creatures. The gift that keeps giving. So we don't have to always be fighting other Gelfling or Arathim.

Hey, wait a minute. Why DID I fight Arathim in the Vapra missions? You don't unlock those without going through the Grottan missions where the Arathim become your good pals. Dangit, the game!

Wow, five party members. Also Ivo, the Gelfling.

Party: Alyadon, Kylan, Boggi, Breg, and Hup. For being the lowest leveled. That's kind of over doing it on menders but Mender is a required step on a lot of characters' personal journeys so I have too many of them.

The level starts with Ivo corned by a nurloc and a windsifter. If he dies, I lose. If everyone else but him dies, that's fine.

He's also a lvl 25 tracker, which makes him the highest leveled person on my team.

Oh, the tide rises. None of my peeps were anywhere close to it but it apparently will just straight up kill a Gelfling because they're too dumb to move out of the water when its not their turn.

Ivo was apparently researching ancient symbols or something. He weirdly has non text box text explaining this so I missed the first thing he said.

Ok Ivo is definitely going to die. He's corned and a nurloc is attacking him.

He asked me to get him higher because the tide is rising but Ivo, my pal, you're on the highest part of the island...

AH THE TIDE ROSE AND HUP IS IN THE WATER GET OUT OF THE WATER HUP

Wow that tide rising thing is no joke. I think Alyadon just vanished underwater. Eesh. I wish there were tide lines showing you where its going to happen. Or when.

And my non dead units are mostly all trapped on the other side of the island and can't cross the now deep water. Not loving this new mechanic but it is a new mechanic.

BUT BOGGI SAVED THE DAY GOOD DOG BEST FRIEND

With his rolling, he was able to get across the map before the tide rose and with his healing he was able to heal Ivo until Ivo could save himself by knifing the nurloc a lot.

And he was looking for ancient symbols that may go back a thousand trine hidden across the coast.

So final count was Kylan and Alyadon horribly drowned but also leveled. Everyone else leveled and learned. Boggi learned Insistent Bark (revive an ally by barking insistently! Good dog!), Breg learned Borrow Time 2 (slow enemy for two turns, self haste for two turns), and Hup learned Well Done (hit a spiced enemy but really hard).

That's also the last ability Boggi can learn. From now on he is but as you see him. No more, no less.

---

Mission: Against the Tide - Sinking Isles

"Ivo's search for ancient symbols is met with some resistance."

I don't love how the island is going to sink.

I get five people and Ivo again. Hi Ivo! There are two glowy spots that I assume I have to get him to. Also I assume he can't die.

A Gelfling elder has shown up to tsk because this area is forbidden.

Ivo: "Bu-but, my research was approved by Elder Cadia himself!"

Elder: 'Its been revoked!'

Ha. But no.

Elder: "That fool lost his memory to nulroot. He knows not what he is doing. Guards, seize them!"

Oh, right. Brea wiped his mind. He'll approve any research project now. Geez, Ivo.

Yup, Ivo has to investigate the symbols. And bad news but one is in the water.

Oh, the tide fell instead of rising. And I only just noticed that the tide is in the turn order. Duh.

Oops Ivo drowned. I thought about going up the back instead of back the way I came and then an enemy unit blocked it and by the time I decided it was a bad idea, well, he didn't have enough turns to get back to dry land.

So second attempt is going better now that I have a better idea of how the tide works. The level is fairly open but there's a lot of chokepoints which makes it nerve wracking until you realize that the water doesn't reach the upper elevations of the map.

Also Wukki died =(

But I got Ivo to all the ancient symbols and they've revealed a stunning secret! The next level!

Seriously: "These carvings tell of a secret location: a cave hidden among the rocks on the coast"

If Ivo is one of the two remaining characters I have yet to unlock, I'm going to lose my mind.

BUT: levels up! Wukki leveled up but didn't learn anything. Like Boggi, he may have learned all he can. You can't teach a lvl 24 dog new tricks. (Checking, he apparently keeps learning up until lvl 28). Hup learns Cauldron, which lets him place a healing cauldron on the map. Its a summon so its either that or the worm. Alyadon learned Soothe 2, cooler than Soothe 1. Naia learned Edged Slice 2, cooler than etc. And Kylan learned Awaken but also unlocks Bramble Sage and Adept, meaning he's on his way to Song-Teller!

Mission: Sunken Treasure - Coastal Caves

"A submerged sea cave holds the knowledge Ivo has been looking for."

Oh god most of this cave is flooded. The shiny square is way on the other end under a lot of water. I hope the water just goes down and not up.

Bringing Rian, Deet, Brea and Gurjin. Also Ivo is here.

Gelfling Mage: "Ivo this is your final warning. These etchings have been forbidden by Skeksis law."

That just makes me want to see them more! I WAS wondering whether any of this was relevant.

Ivo: "Why would the skeksis make our own history forbidden? They must be hiding something!"

Follow that train of thought, Ivo!

Yup, the tide is falling, revealing more of the cave. This is a neat mechanic which gives me anxiety.

AAAAAH TWO GUYS SPAWNED RIGHT BEHIND ME! Not cool, the game!

Ok this isn't going well. I'm down to Gurjin at very low health and Ivo at very low health. Thankfully, I just need to get Ivo to the shiny. As long as nobody spawns near his end of the cave, I'm golden.

A darkened hollerbat just spawned on his side of the cave.

But I ran like heckle to the last symbol and made it before any of the hollerbats could even take a turn. Phew.

Despite everything, everyone got level ups. Brea learned Geyser 2, Gurjin learned Bandage 2, Deet learned Cascade, Rian unlocked the Adept/Bramble Sage jobs meaning he's another step towards Strategist!

Son of a gun, I unlocked Ivo as a character! Not what I was expecting when I started this quest chain and not entirely what I wanted! I also got the Driftwood Cane!

So whats the scoop, Ivo. What do the symbols mean? WHY ITS THE GREAT CONJUNCTION!

There's actually a little cutscene.

Wait, did the Gelflings not know about the Great Conjunction? It only happens every thousand trine but still? Then again, the Skeksis were trying to suppress knowledge of it for some reason.

Geez, Ivo has ten levels in Scout, ten in Mender, and ten in Tracker. I have no idea what I'm going to do with him. I'll keep him in Tracker. And give him a spear. And some clothes.

I'll give the Driftwood Cane to Alyadon. It is the Sifa Clan staff.

---

Mission: Washed Up - Littered Shores

"A pair of shipwrecked Sifan sailors have washed up on shore. Help them deal with a pack of pursuing pirates."

I'm belatedly realizing that each Gelfling area has its own gimmick. The Sifa missions have the rising and falling tides, of course. The Vapra have the random power ups scattered in the levels. The Caves of Grot have the random buff squares. The Drenchen lands have the poison swamp water. And the Dousan have the sandstorms. Wonder what the Spriton will be when I get there. And I guess the Stonewood didn't have a gimmick?

Ok so I have to protect shipwrecked sailors Van and Jilly. They will probably not end up in my party. I'm still reeling over Ivo being unlocked but it makes sense to give you a Sifa party member that isn't Alyadon. Probably hence why Ivo, despite being a researcher, is very swashbuckly. Compared to Alyadon who is a huge nerd.

The level looks like a rising tide horror show. Most of the level is low lying except for a ridge that the enemy units are all already perched on.

Party: Boggi, Deet, Kylan. They need some love. And levels.

APPARENTLY, Maudra Seethi asked us to save the sailors. Which puts me in mind that the resistance showed up and was like 'hey maybe join us in opposing the Skeksis' and instead of going 'how dare, the Skeksis are beautiful angels' the Maudra went 'huh? That's nice. Go find some sailors'

And the level starts with Jilly and Van bickering over whose fault the shipwreck was. Jilly is mad that Van steered them into some rocks and Van is mad that JILLY STOLE A BUNCH OF TREASURE FROM PIRATES AND THATS WHY THEY WERE IN A HURRY

These two are fun.

I assume this is what happens when a paladin and a thief are friends because Jilly is a thief and Van is a paladin.

Rian tries to interupt but Van is like AND YOU GOT THESE NICE BYSTANDERS STUCK IN OUR DRAMA GEEZ JILLY

THEY KILLED MY DOGGO

The pirates did I mean. I don't think Jilly or Van would.

Aside from the poor, sweet, innocent doggo, the level went pretty smoothly. The only problem is that one of the enemies cast Guardian's blessing and rather than kill a person twice, I decided to wait it out for some reason.

And then he died of poison and respawned anyway.

I'm good at tactics.

Its fine, he ded now.

At the end of the level, Deet is like ok so can we take you home now and Jilly is like NOT SO FAST THE PIRATES WILL KEEP PURSUING US UNTIL THEY GET THEIR TREASURE BACK.

Jilly: "Our village won't last another trine without it! The Skeksis took everything during the Tithing Ceremony!"

It was kind of lost when the Skeksis went full supervillain and started drinking people, but yeah, lets not forget the multiple ways that the Skeksis were exploiting the Gelfling and the whole dang world. They're drainers in many senses. I love a ridiculous fantasy metaphor that works on multiple levels.

And I'm pretty sure it was intended to be that way since the movie. I remember the novelization being like 'yeah this used to be a nice place and then the Skeksis drained the life out of the planet' or something.

If I'm overfocusing on this its because its only as an adult that I realize how timely Dark Crystal has stayed all this... uh, time.

Anyway Deet is like sure we'll help you beat up the pirates. Its cool.

Deet leveled and learned nothing. Kylan leveled and learned Purge Rot.

---

Mission: Sneak Attack - Tidal Wall

"The heroes follow the quarreling sailors back to the pirate's den, but encounter resistance along the way."

Is this going to be a real sneaking mission or what, game?

The gimmick for this mission chain is that Jilly and Van are tagging along so you only get to bring three peeps. Because I only get to bring three peeps. Luckily, I have three peeps that are all lvl 23 instead of lvl higher than that.

Oh, this is cool. This is a pirate fortress so there's a wall that we have to fight our way into. Except its less of a wall and more of steps but its wall like. It feels like we're breaking in, anyway.

Look, as I've said, FFTA is my main other experience for trpg games and it was way lazier with its levels.

Party: Boggi, Breg, Alyadon. Boggi wants to redeem himself. I assume. He started yelling but that may have been because of general fizzgig anxiety.

Enemy: "You've walked right into our trap-"

Jilly and Van: -immediately start bickering and interrupt the pirate-

I like that the lack of many Sifa characters from the show means they had to create some for this set of missions. The writing is entertaining enough that I wish there had been more of this for the other clan mission sets.

Nothing to really report about this one, it went swimmingly. Nobody even drowned!

Jilly and Van are decently powerful so I don't regret having them instead of two of my peeps in terms of their efficacy in battle.

I was worried about getting to higher ground with the rising tide but the battle went so quickly that I wasn't ever in real danger of that.

Jilly: -after beating up several pirates- "Well, we've clearly lost the element of surprise."

My favorite part of this is that this does and doesn't have anything to do with having the Sifa join the resistance. I'm pretty sure that we sealed the deal when we saved these two chuckleheads to begin with.

We're going to come back to Maudra Seethi and be like 'we saved Jilly and Van' and she's going to be like 'Ah, well done! The Sifa will be glad to join-' and then we'll be like 'also we beat up a pirate fortress and redistributed the wealth to a destitute village' and she'll be like 'oh.'

Holy crap, Boggi leveled twice! Good dog! I mean, he did a pretty good job. Doggo redeemed. Breg and Alyadon also leveled but learned nothing.

I should check at what point jobs stop paying out in terms of abilities.

I got seven more levels for Breg and six for Alyadon before they've learned all they can.

---

The pirate fortress is actually a ways away from the Tidal Wall. I guess maybe it was a pirate outpost. Pirate watch station? Anyway.

Mission: Finders, Keepers - Flooded Ruins

"The heroes confront the pirate leader."

Ok this map looks a lot less like a pirate fortress than the last one did. I know that they've got to keep the tide gimmick so the levels have to look a way - with a low part and a higher part - but this is a random sandbar with some rocky bits. The other place had a wall! Why you hanging out here, the pirate king?

Party: Brea, Wukki, Rek'yr.

The pirate leader is this random Sifa caster. They coulda given him a name.

The pirate leader caster says no one gets to steal from him and live

Van: "Hey! I'm the only one that gets to threaten her! We're taking you down!"

Jilly: "Yeah, you don't scare us! Together we're unstoppable!"

Heh, these quest characters are alright.

... ok Brea gets killed without ever taking a move because the enemy placement can just up and kill her turn 1. That's... great.

Ok, Jilly died. Good thing Jilly and Van need to survive isn't a condition on this level. And Wukki died =(

Ok, it was a bloodbath like some of the end missions of mission chains are for some reason. Everyone died except Rek'yr and Van. Then again, whats to be expected of a mission where one of my units died first turn because of enemy placement.

Still, the pirates are defeated and their treasure will save an overly taxed village. Hooray!

Van: "We will tell Maudra Seethi of the good you've done this day."

Ok, alright, yes, so thats how the Sifa join the resistance.

Brea levels and learns nothing! Rek'yr levels and learns Edged Slice! I should check to see where he is vis a vis able to go into Grave Dancer (two more levels)! I get the Seafarer's Harpoon! Spears are really common as important clan weapons, I've noticed! This is probably going right on Ivo!

Except the Unite the Clans meter doesn't go up. Which means that you only have to do one of the mission chains to actually get the clan on your side and it doesn't matter which. I thought it was a weird coincidence that I kept doing the one that got you clan allegiance first but nah. In my heart though, it was helping Jilly and Van that did it.

That just leaves the Stonewood and Spriton, I think. Weird that I don't already have the Stonewood on my side but then again, they were all kidnapped by spiders.

#dark crystal #the dark crystal #dark crystal age of resistance #dark crystal age of resistance tactics #THE GAME #liveblog #fighting some pirates and doing some archeology #both involve hitting people

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strinak · 6 years ago

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Title: Unleash Your Demons Author: Keira Marcos Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe Genre: Time Travel, First Time, Kid-fic, Science Fiction, Slash, Het Relationship(s): Tony Stark/Loki Odinson, Bruce Banner/Betty Ross Content Rating: NC-17 Warnings: Death-Minor Character, Discussion-Torture, Discussion-Forced Body Modification, Discussion-Mass Murder, Murder, Kidnapping, Temporary Character Death. Spoilers (the entire MCU), Violence-Canon-Level Author Notes: This fic was written and edited before I saw Avengers: End Game. I made the choice not to include any of that foolish shit. Beta: Ladyholder & Jilly James Word Count: 115,668 Summary: Tony Stark can’t live with the damage Thanos has done. Infinity Stones in hand, he makes a choice that will alter the fate of the universe.

IT GOES LIVE IN A LITTLE MORE THAN AN HOUR, Y’ALL! I AM ALREADY SCREAMING.

(Need to kill that hour? Want to know if this is your kind of nonsense BEFORE investing in a 100k fic? READ THESE:

For the Heart That Cannot Vary - Betty/Bruce - She couldn’t follow him when he ran but if Bruce is going to stay in New York with Tony Stark then Iron Man better have room for Betty Ross, too.

Trust Issues - gen/pre-Tony/Steve undertones - The only things that Steve Rogers knows about Tony Stark came from a file given to him by SHIELD and he’s starting to realize that’s a problem.

What Howard Stark Built - gen - Tony Stark decided to give talking Steve Rogers out of going to SHIELD just one more try.)

#mcu #fanfiction #frostiron #MY BODY IS READY #i am 0% fucking around #there is an alarm set on my phone rn

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fontainebleau22 · 6 years ago

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Oooh could you do a directors commentary for A Scent of Lavender? I'd love to hear one for the scene that starts with ‘I’ll need to pass on this hand,’ and the scene right after from '‘I’ll need to pass on this hand,’ up until 'No harm, then'. And also to hear any background info on how you chose the idea, and what kind of research you might have done for it!

Thank you so much for the ask, and sorry it took me a while to get around to it! I really enjoyed thinking about this, though it’s pretty long.

‘I’ll need to pass on this hand,’ says Goodnight,pushing back his chair.

I agonised alot about the change of tense between the Goody/Billy story (present) and Tess’sstory (past), but there was just no other way to do it that I could find. And,as I said elsewhere, if it’s good enough for Dickens in Bleak House then it’s good enough for me.

MacClaren scowls. ‘Not thinking of quitting on us?’Goodnight’s luck’s been good, or his companions’ attention poor, and he’sclaimed a steady run of pots, but he’s sharp enough to realise that MacClarenhas thrown in several likely hands, encouraging a less wary player to thinkhimself better than he was: he’ll expect to recoup his losses and more as theliquor flows and the evening progresses.

There’s a lotof Deadwood behind this fic, and whileMacClaren is just an extra, for the scene as a whole I had in mind some of thepermanent poker players who figure as extras in Deadwood.

Goodnight holds up his hands placatingly. ‘A call tothe outhouse: I’m not done yet.’

He takes his time out back, then once the game hasre-engaged MacClaren’s attention, he slips back to the bar to find Billy. Thisis one of the many advantages of a partner he’d found; too often before when hewas gambling the drink and the company would go to his head, and what he wonwhile the evening was young he’d lose or drink away later on. Now he can quietlypass a handful of notes and coins to Billy, always clear-minded and precise nomatter how much he’s drunk, and know that they’ll wake up in profit. To hissurprise, though, Billy’s abandoned his station at the bar and is sitting at atable with one of the girls, apparently in lively conversation.

At first he’s simply taken aback: this is the firsttime in the months they’ve spent together that he’s seen his new partner showany interest in female company. But it’s human nature, after all, and Billy’s aman; maybe he’s been holding back since they partnered up. On the heels ofsurprise follows a wave of self-reproach. They’ve always shared a room; theysettled into that early without debate to save money and trouble both, butmaybe Billy’s felt it to be more of a constraint than he liked to consider.

This isprobably my unspoken headcanon that Goody is actually a pretty selfish person,or at least a person who finds little interest in anyone else around him, apartfrom Billy, and at this stage in their partnership his bubble of self-obsessionis just starting to expand to enclose Billy in it.

Their partnership has been lucrative, and they’vemoved from wariness to something he’d like to call friendship: he enjoysBilly’s companionship and he hopes that’s reciprocated. If it raises feelingsin him that he thought were long dead, if he’d like to offer more, much more,mesmerised from that first meeting by his fine-boned face, his dark eyes, thestrength and lightning-fast reflexes he wears so lightly, well, Goodnight keepsthat locked away inside.

OK, here’s why Iwas annoyed with the comments I got about Goody being too passive and subordinateto Billy in his emotions in this fic. There is a power imbalance between them, of coursethere is – Goody is white, educated, respected and if not wealthy himself,comes from a wealthy background, while Billy is poor, a member of a despisedminority, without family in the US and owning only what he stands up in. Ofcourse Goody is going to be incredibly tentative in expressing his feelings,even if he thinks they might be reciprocated: as I read it, he has to let Billy come to him rather than theother way around.

But he’s welcomed their growing intimacy, two againsta hostile world, without thought, and now, it seems, here’s proof he was wrong.

The girl’s not exactly sitting in Billy’s lap:they’re just talking, a respectable distance apart, but even so he doesn’t feelhe wants to interrupt. Looking at her, Goodnight thinks he recognises the girlwho spoke to him earlier, and he wonders, why this one? She’s pretty, as far ashe’s any judge, doll-like, her fair hair curled into ringlets; none of thegirls here are overdressed, but though her clothes are plain – a red skirt andstriped camisole, stockings and boots – there’s something neater about her thanthe others he can see in their rumpled blouses and torn lace. No jewellery,none of them has that, but she’s tied a dark velvet ribbon round her throatthat emphasises her pale colouring.

Gosh, with OCsyou have to describe what they look like! It was actually quite interesting todescribe Billy and Goody as Tess sees them as well, with how wealthy they lookto the fore because that’s her professional concern.

She’s as good as Billy could find in a place likethis, and she’s obviously working to please him, leaning closer with her eyeson his face. May be that’s all it is – a woman who’ll take him seriously. Shesays something that makes Billy laugh, his smile flashing bright, andGoodnight’s honest enough to admit that the tightening in his chest isjealousy; but that’s his problem, and his alone.

‘Your friend there seems to have taken a shine toTessie.’

Goodnight wheels, alert to the mocking edge to thecomment, and finds himself confronting a long-haired man propped idly againstthe bar. At first sight he’s smartly-dressed, exuding self-confidence, but acloser look reveals that his pin-striped suit is shiny in places, the seamsfraying, and the collar greasy.

It’s AlSwearengen from Deadwood! If I’mbeing honest, it pretty much is, though Adams isn’t as ruthless as Swearengen.The suit’s the same, though.

He tips his head back and gives Goodnight aconsidering look. ‘Other pimps might take exception to a Chinaman making freewith their women, but me – live and let live, that’s what I say, right, Amos?’

There is alittle subplot in Deadwood aboutChinese prostitutes being imported for the Chinese community, and I wanted tomake the point that it’s significant Billy is being accepted at this point,even if grudgingly.

The burly barkeep grunts in response: from his mannerhis employer’s used to being agreed with.

And look, there’s Dan Dority behind the bar!

‘Wouldn’t exactly be making free, though, would he?’observes Goodnight, ‘I’m sure your associates would see to that,’ and isrewarded by a splutter as the man chokes on his whiskey.

‘Fair point,’ concedes the man, ‘and money’s whatmakes this nation of ours great, who’s to care whose hands it passes through.’He sticks out a hand. ‘Silas Adams, proprietor. I understand I’m making theacquaintance of the famous Goodnight Robicheaux.’

‘Pleasure’s mine,’ says Goodnight as Adams attemptsto crush his knuckles.

Adams signals for drinks for both of them. ‘On thehouse.’ He raises his glass. ‘Don’t get so many of note passing through here.’

Another ticfrom Deadwood – Al is always pouringpeople free drinks to put them into his debt.

From the corner of his eye Goodnight can seeMacClaren’s glare, but there’s little he can do if the boss is in the mood totalk. ‘Impressive place for a small town,’ he observes: it is striking, thedécor and the games and the girls in what appears to be a glorified tradingpost.

Adams taps the side of his nose. ‘Entertainment’s thebusiness to be in.’ He looks around himself, to see that his underlings arepaying attention: here’s a man who enjoys the sound of his own voice. ‘Honestday’s toil is good for the character, they say. But two things that never goout of fashion are drink and pussy, and the man who sells those won’t ever beshort of custom.’

He relaxes against the bar as he elaborates. ‘When Istarted out here all I had was a shack with a tarp for a roof, and me to sweepthe floor and pour the drinks and run the whores; but I was the only bar intown, and the miners, they came pushing and shoving to get in through the door.So I got a bigger joint, and I sold so much liquor that the company sent up themirror for free.’ He nods at the fancy glass behind the bar. ‘And when moregirls came along, I took them under my care and pretty soon I was the biggestowner in town.’ He strokes his moustache, preening: big fish in a small pond,thinks Goodnight.

OK, Adams getsto spread himself here, but the point I was trying to make is that it genuinelyis an impressive achievement: Adams is boastful, but he has put in the hardwork to make his saloon a success. It’s too simple to say that he’s just anexploitative owner – he is exploitative, but a lot of what he says about beingthe only person who’ll employ a woman down on her luck is actually true, and helooks after the girls well as long as they’re useful to him.

‘Took them under my care’ is also deliberate - it’s an unpleasant thought, but what would happen to someone like Jilly, who’s mentally chllenged, at that period if she didn’t have an employer to take her on, even if he exploits her? (It’s another echo of Swearengen in a way, as he keeps the physically-disabled Jewel on in his saloon, though as a maid of all work and for rather more selfless reasons.) Adams isn’t a nice guy, but he’s neither as brutal as the miners nor as purity-obsessed as the respectable townsfolk.

‘Can a man enquire as to the nature of your businesshere? You and your – associate?’ Adam’s manner is still satirical, butGoodnight senses there’s not much between taking Billy’s money and throwing himout into the street. Or trying to. He smiles: he’ll do this a thousandtimes if it’ll lift a fraction of the burden Billy carries.

‘Entertainment’s our business too,’ he says, and seesAdams stiffen: not a man who likes competition. ‘We’ll stage a few contests, ifthere’s the interest: shooting, fighting. Always men who like to test theirskills.’

Adams narrows his eyes, nodding thoughtfully. ‘Handyin a fight, is he?’ He puts up his fists in a boxer’s stance and feints a fewpunches. ‘My fighting days are long past, but Amos here might be able to giveyour pard a run for his money.’

Goodnight doubts it, in a fair fight: weight’s noadvantage against Billy. But he gets the impression that a fair fight’s notwhat this Adams is interested in.

‘In a fairfight, which Dan and I try to avoid…’ There really is a lot of Deadwood in this scene!

Still, he shrugs. ‘He can try and welcome. We’ll setup tomorrow. Town this size, I expect there’ll be some takers.’

‘And that’s all your business here?’ Adams is lookingat him keenly. ‘Clean out the sapheads and move on?’ What’s he afraid of?

Someone with abetter name than him muscling in on his hard-won business, and once again, youcan’t really blame him.

‘Earn a little, spend a little,’ says Goodnight, ‘wedon’t aim to settle.’

That seems to satisfy him. ‘Long as you do yourspending here at the day’s end, we’ll have no argument.’ He puts his glass downand nods at Amos for another.

‘On me,’ says Goodnight. Won’t do to be in thisman’s debt.

–

It’s a while before he can extricate himself fromAdams’ company, and by the time he does Billy’s gone upstairs; Goodnight startsto head after him, but as he puts his foot on the first step the thoughtfreezes him. Did he take the girl up there with him? He scans the room asunobtrusively as he can, and no, there she is, leaning on the shoulder of a fatman in a high collar. He knows he shouldn’t feel relieved, thumping up thestair and along to their room, but he does.

In their room Billy’s already stowed their gearneatly, razor and soap laid out next to the basin, Goodnight’s bag on the bedby the door; he’s claimed the bed nearer the wall for himself. He’s sittingcross-legged, attending to his knives, running the sharpening stone carefullydown a blade; there’s a plate on the floor next to his feet, empty but forcrumbs, and another on the chest with a hunk of bread and cheese.

I wrote thisscene first just with the conversation between them, and later revised it withall the little touches to show how they look out for each other: at this stage intheir relationship they’re still working out how it benefits them both, in waysunexpected as well as expected, and I wanted to show that as well as theawkwardness.

It’s an easy familiarity that does as much to groundGoodnight as the conversation and backup; too often in the past the oppressivesilence of a grubby anonymous room has driven him downstairs again to drinkuntil he no longer cared, but now he’s warmed by Billy’s wordless forethought.

He hangs his coat on the bedpost and empties thepockets, piling the coins and notes on the bedcover. ‘Come out ahead?’ asksBilly.

‘War stories helped,’ admits Goodnight. ‘Don’t thinkthey were all for my quitting, but the boss here got talking to me at the barso they couldn’t complain.’

‘That Adams?’ asks Billy over the regular stroke ofthe stone; he’ll need them sharp tomorrow, but Goodnight knows by now that hefinds the nightly ritual soothing, honing and polishing, turning each blade inhis hands then laying it down in a neat line: it brings calm to his face andeases the stiffness from his posture.

‘Likes the sound of his own voice.’ He pretends toignore Billy’s glance of amusement. ‘Wanted to sound me out a bit, wonderingwhy we’re here. Think he’s anxious about protecting his turf.’

‘King of a dunghill,’ says Billy dismissively.

This one mademe think of Firefly, when River says ‘Sadlittle king of a sad little hill’ to Badger.

Goodnight stacks the money on the chest next to thebasin and rolls up his sleeves to wash. ‘Seems to have it pretty much sewn uphere, only saloon in town and a couple of heavies to keep it that way.’

‘Wonder if that’s his only business: girl I wastalking to said there’ve been attacks on the road out: couple of times wealthytypes passed through and found themselves looking down a gun a few days later.’

Al Swearengenagain, with his road agents. Really there’s nothing of my own in this fic!

‘Worth knowing.’ Goodnight shucks his vest and bootsand stretches out his legs on the bed, plate in hand: the noise of the saloonbelow is still loud, but he’s had enough of spinning tales and playing up tohis reputation. Drunk enough too.

As he settles to eat Goodnight says carefully, ‘I sawyou talking with her: if you want – I mean, up here, I can make myself scarcefor a while.’

‘No need,’ says Billy shortly; he doesn’t look upfrom his polishing.

‘No trouble for me to take off,’ insists Goodnight.It’s the first time Billy’s given any indication of an interest: if they’re tobe a partnership, best get it all out into the open. ‘Or if you’d prefer we canget two rooms, money’s not tight just now.’ Perhaps he’s shy about it: it’s notas though the subject’s ever come up, and maybe that’s his own fault – he’d lethimself assume that Billy found the same satisfaction in their company as hedoes. But he’s sensitive enough to see that if Billy’s race is enough to causetrouble in a bar then the question of women is bound to be a thorny one. So ifthis one’s willing, maybe in private, it’s not his business to stand in theway. ‘Man has his wants.’

I’m quite proudof this exchange, Goody being delicate with lots of half-sentences.

Billy stands up and picks up his belt to slot theknives one by one into their sheaths. He’s not looking at Goodnight. ‘I don’twant.’

Goodnight swallows down the awkwardness: he’sdetermined not to let this spoil the friendship they’ve built. ‘Money’s there,no problem if you need a little extra to buy her something pretty.’

Billy turns to face him, face set and hard to read.‘I don’t, OK?’ Goodnight can’t fathom why he’s being so hostile. ‘You don’t, doyou? She was making up to you first and you didn’t take her up on it.’

‘Ain’t what I’m looking for,’ says Goodnight, andit’s a phrase he’s practised over the years. He puts down his plate. Plenty ofreasons a man might avoid prostitutes: morality, fear of disease, faith to apartner lost … turning down an advance in a saloon isn’t cause for suspicion.‘But no reason I should put my notions onto you.’

And here’s thedifference between them that’s going to come out later – Goody sees the girlsjust as ‘prostitutes’, women he’s not interested in, whereas Billy sees Tess asan individual. Goody is going to grow into this attitude as he gets to knowthem, but right now his attitude is very top-down; Billy’s is bottom-up, seeingthe girls as people just like himself.

Billy sits down on the bed again facing him. ‘I don’twant to bring her up here. I wouldn’t do that to anyone, make them do it formoney, or because their boss tells them to.’ His fierce expression forbidsquestioning. ‘We were just talking: it’s what she’s supposed to do. About whatwe do, a bit, and about how it is for them here.’

The girls? Goodnight can’t say he’s ever given itmuch thought – girls in a saloon are just part of the setting, young, old, somepretty and some not, all friendly and all available, all to be politelydeflected and check your pockets afterward.

I did wonderabout this, because it seems unlikely to a modern eye – did he really never thinkabout the women? But Goody, as I said, isn’t for me very interested in peopleoutside himself, and most men of that period, insofar as they thought aboutprostitutes at all, either despised them or pitied them. And really what I wantedto do was interrogate our own attitudes as consumers of Westerns – who thinksabout the women in the saloon? The ones in M7 don’t even have names, they’re justwindow dressing for the genre, and we never think about them as individuals:the woman massaging Faraday’s shoulders in the opening scene, the woman in theboots at Volcano Springs, the woman in the coach who Faraday winks at – who werethey? What were their lives like?

‘No harm, then,’ he says, fetching out his notebook;Billy lights a cigarette and stretches out at full length with a satisfiedsigh, and companionable silence fills the room, shouts and music coming faintlyfrom below.

I really enjoyed the chance to think about this, so thanks again!

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playchoices · 7 years ago

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Inside Choices | Red Carpet Diaries: Book 2

Lights, camera, action! Red Carpet Diaries: Book 2 is returning with more romance, big budget movies, and plot twists! Where will your path to stardom take you next? Step into the spotlight and find out. Read on for a behind-the-scenes look at Red Carpet Diaries: Book 2…

Hollywood is all about what’s new, what’s shiny, and the latest drama. So, spill. What’s new in Book 2?

Jilly: This book is all about going big! You film on glamorous locations for your massive new blockbuster, make the rounds of the Hollywood gossip circuit, and you even have the chance to pick out a glamorous new home! Also, the clothes. I swear, I want every single thing you get to wear to exist in my IRL closet. That said, just like in Hollywood, all that glitters isn’t gold – readers are going to see the dark side of fame, too.

Will our rising star make any new friends in Book 2? How about enemies? Will we be seeing any familiar faces from Hollywood U?

Jilly: Our heroine will be making some new friends, some in very high places. And of course now that she’s the “it” girl, there are people ready to tear her down, like her new costar.

Andrew: Also… by popular demand… there’ll be appearances from HWU favorites like Thomas Hunt, Addison Sinclair, and more!

What was the brainstorm process like for Book 2? What’s the inspiration behind Book 2?

Andrew: We knew right away we wanted to step up the scale and take you to the next level, from an indie film darling to starring in a major summer blockbuster. So a lot of the brainstorming was just coming up with the most fun and exciting aspects of that, like jet-skiing with a bazooka and filming all over the world. At the same time, we knew we also wanted to touch on the darker side of Hollywood, on the challenges that you’d face.

Jilly: Book 2 is about the thrills – and risks – of being on top. That made brainstorming SO much fun. It was a process of ‘wait, what would be even more?’ We put in everything we’d ever want if WE were famous – amazing locations, beautiful homes, incredible luxury, you name it! But we also wanted to show another side of fame. It’s not all red carpets and brilliant smiles. Hollywood is a larger than life place, which can lead to larger than life problems. I don’t want to spoil anything for people, but this book is like a roller coaster – thrilling highs, and terrifying drops.

Coco: The brainstorm process for RCD is super fun because Andrew and Jilly are always hilarious, so it’s great to bounce ideas around together. There has been a lot going on in the Hollywood world recently, and it felt meaningful to touch upon those issues within our Choices universe, as well as see how you as a character can regain agency over your life, narrative, and creative endeavors.

Which Red Carpet Diaries character out of the main cast do you relate to the most?

Andrew: I’m a Seth fanboy, through and through. He’s neurotic and sweet and hides his vulnerabilities behind a layer of comedic detachment. He’s also Choices’ first canonically Jewish LI, which is something I was excited to see brought into the game.

Coco: I’m probably most similar to Teja. I really respect her hustling attitude and would like to be more like her! Seth would be a great best friend though since you’d probably laugh all day.

If you had to co-star in a movie with one of the RCD characters, who would it be?

Coco: I would most likely choose to co-star with Victoria, who I think is a very interesting, multifaceted character. I would probably leave the set completely emotionally exhausted, but I would learn a lot from her. An ocelot cameo would be magical, too.

Andrew: Josh Morello. He’s hilarious!

Give a (quick) closing speech for this interview. Go!

Jilly: I loved the rags to riches story of RCD 1, but I’m extra excited to delve deeper in Book 2. There are some seriously tough issues that we confront, and that I think need to be addressed more openly and more often. The world of RCD is over the top, but the issues our characters face are so universal. I’m really glad we get to bring more of those to the page this time around.

Annnd scene! Roll out the red carpet for the launch of Red Carpet Diaries: Book 2, out tomorrow!

-Jessica

#playchoices #red carpet diaries #inside choices #playchoices sneak peek #long post #pixelberry studios

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faejilly · 1 year ago

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Hey it's Monday! Let's try that

Week-In-Review?

I am definitely doing these more as an adulting accountability post I think, but regardless!

Reading:

Finished The Hollow Places, highly recommended, deeply disturbing and yet ultimately wonderfully comforting/validating/humane. Can't quite think of the word I want? But it makes you glad to be a People on This World of Ours! (If also very glad that the specific adventures in the book are fiction and you do not have to worry about them spreading to anyone else 😅)

Am currently re-reading a series I recalled from when I was, idk, 10 or something, called The Time Keeper which holds up pretty well. I'm enjoying them... they're VERY 80s-SFF-Juvenile Fiction, though, if anyone is familiar with that niche of a sub-genre. 😄

My mother and I had a weird conversation awhile back: do you remember those books with the time travel and the stepping stones when I was a kid? and did eventually figure out the series with only that! Then she found the ebooks re-issued by the author and got them for me. 🎉

Playing:

Murder by Numbers, which is a mystery VN plus a slew of those pictogram puzzle things, and I am enjoying it a lot. Though I got a low(er) score on the third case and am not sure what I missed, so it may be a bit before I go back to finish it... It goes gloriously hard with its 90s aesthetic/setting too, so that's fun.

Adulting:

I have not been making my bed or doing anything beyond the bare minimum of laundry, but the dishes are being held in check and I've been taking my meds and no one missed an appointment or starved, so that's pretty much a win, I think?

Creating:

I did work on the Current Cross Stitch, but it's a bit of a slog atm (and I think I screwed up a color) so that didn't last long...

No writing either.

Instead I made a Crochet Kit Piggie!

She's a little crooked, but I'm pleased by my first attempt. 💕 Next I'm trying an Elephant and they'll go sit on the picture book shelf with Thing 2's old Elephant & Piggie Books, since I still remember those pretty fondly myself.

And that's about it? We got a bit of snow today, which was nice, but otherwise it's been the same old around here.

What have you been up to, my dears & darlings?

#jilly spam #week in review #mental health post #the hollow places #t. kingfisher #the time keeper #child of tomorrow #when dreamers cease to dream #barbara bartholomew #jilly reads #jilly has a gaming problem #murder by numbers #I think I had a crafting tag and yet?#elephant & piggie #mo willems #faves forever tbqh

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veryangryhedgehog · 7 years ago

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“A Late Night at St. Adelaide’s”, an Ede Valley story by Hedgehog.

“What are we doing?”

“Clearly we’re digging up a body.”

“Well, duh. I know that. But what are we doing?”

“I just tol—”

“Shut up, Gil.”

Doug leaned on his shovel and shook his head at the pathetically small hole he and Gil had managed to dig. It was only February; the ground was frozen. So why were they out here at 1 o’clock in the morning trying to dig through it?

“I found another shovel!” Victor shouted triumphantly, panting as he jogged towards them. With his long, dark coat he looked even more like a bear than usual. A very nervous bear. “T-thank you both so much,” he managed to stutter. “I know it’s the middle of the night and everything, but it was really urgent, and I didn’t know who else to ask.”

“What is the big rush?” Doug asked. “You haven’t told us yet.”

“Well, uh... uh,” Victor ducked his head sheepishly. “You’re not gonna like it.”

Gil frowned now too. “Come, artificer, spit it out.”

Looking down, Victor started digging. “See, the thing is, um, Abby was really interested in seeing what I was working on, so I wanted to make a demonstration.”

“And thus you needed new parts,” Gil nodded.

“Exactly!”

The two of them glanced over to Doug, who merely sighed. He had known all along that Abigail Hodge was no good, especially not for Victor, but it was far too late now. What’s done is done, and if Victor was willing to risk the fire, then so be it. Victor wrung his hands nervously as he waited for Doug’s response. After a disapproving glare, he shook his head. He couldn’t believe he was doing this.

“Alright,” he said, “let’s dig up a body.”

It was hard work, digging through the frozen ground. But with the three of them working together, they somehow managed to make headway. Doug could see his breath in the air, but he didn’t feel the cold. Only his nose was slightly frozen, no doubt as red as a certain reindeer. What really bugged him was the quiet. He couldn’t stand silence. And in the graveyard in the middle of the night, the Potter’s Field, no less? Oh yeah, it was pretty quiet.

“Quick question,” he asked, turning to Gil. “What the hell is an artificer?”

Gil opened his mouth, but it was Victor who answered. “Only the coolest class in Dungeons and Dragons! Basically, an artificer’s job in the party is—”

“Okay, okay, give me the cliff notes, dorkasaurus.”

“Oh, sorry,” Victor apologized. “Um, so they basically combine science and magic together.”

“So is this where you get all of this wizard bullcrap?” Doug turned to Gil. “Dungeons and Dragons?”

Pausing his shoveling, Gil’s mismatched eyes narrowed. “Nonsense,” he insisted. “I’d known those words for thousands of year before that admittingly amusing game was invented.”

“Dude, you’re seventeen,” Doug grunted, his back beginning to ache from all the hard digging.

Gil shrugged. “This form may be, perhaps.”

Doug waited. But of course he didn’t elaborate. “What the hell’s that supposed to—?” He began, but broke off as Victor’s shovel hit something with a loud thump. The three boys paused, almost unsure of what to do, before Victor fumbled with gloved hands for his flashlight.

As the light shone down into the hold, Doug pushed aside some of the remaining debris to reveal a plain, pine box.

“There!” Victor exclaimed. “Here, help me move it.”

“Don’t’cha need to look and see if it’s all, you know, intact?” Doug hesitated. Part of him still couldn’t’ believe he was doing this.

“Oh no, it’s fine,” Victor shook his head. “I only need some of the parts anyway.”

Together, the three of them lifted the pine box out of the ground, Doug cursing as he received a splinter for his troubles.

“Good,” he grunted. “Then let’s get back. I don’t have much time.”

“What could you possibly mean?” Gil asked.

“Uh, nothing,” Doug recovered. “Just that in about five minutes I’m gonna freeze my ass off.”

And as they began the journey back to St. Adelaide’s, the box hoisted on their shoulders like some lop-sided funeral procession, Doug tried to ignore the ominous vibrations that had begun to emanate from the band on his wrist.

~~ o ~~

Jilli didn’t know what she was doing. It was eleven o’clock at night and she was currently sitting in the library, nursing a cup of chamomile tea while Mike was doing “research”. Research on what, she didn’t know. “It’s for, uh, a project,” he’d said after he’d knocked on her door a half-an-hour ago.

“And you have to go now?” She asked, robe slightly askew.

“Well, I just finished my homework now,” he asserted, “and it’s kind of urgent.”

“I thought you said this little trip was for homework.”

“It is!” he gulped. “Uh, different homework.”

He was a terrible liar. She sighed, shaking her head. “Why don’t you just ask Doug? He never sleeps anyway.”

“He’s... playing Garfield Kart,” Mike admitted. “You don’t bug Doug when he’s playing Garfield Kart.”

Jilli opened her mouth to ask him what he was really up to, but closed it again. She was curious, but there was something about the kid’s innocent, puppy dog eyes that made her stop. The moment of truth came when he implied that he was too scared of Abigail to go alone, so she finally agreed to go along with him.

“You know she doesn’t sleep in there, right?”

Of course, Jilli had to eat her words as she opened the doors to the Blackwood Library to find the dim lights still flickering and Abigail balancing a stack of books as tall as she was in her arms.

“Oh hello Jilli, Mike,” she beamed, dropping the books with a dusty plop. “You’re here awfully late.”

Jilli made a face. “I was just about to settle down for some Netflix and chill... by myself.” God, that was depressing. “But this one has to do some last minute research for—”

“—A report,” Mike finished for her. Funny, five minutes ago it had been a project.

“A report?” Abigail brightened immediately. “People mostly use the internet nowadays. Would you like some help?”

“No! No, uh,” Mike said, a little hastily. “Could you just... point me to the history section?”

As Abigail interrogated Mike further on exactly what kind of history he was looking for—“There’s an awful lot of it, you know!”—Jilli settled down at a mahogany table with the tea she’d brought from her room. Technically food and drinks weren’t allowed in the library, but Abigail usually let the rule slide if it could get people to go to the library at all.

Eventually, after Mike insisted several times that he had found what he was looking for, the student librarian joined Jilli. “So, what have you been reading lately?” Jilli asked.

“I’ve been reading a lot about alternate biology.” Abigail replied, as if this would mean anything to Jilli at all.

“Alternate biology?” she asked finally, once she realized no illumination would be provided.

“Oh yes,” Abigail’s head nodded like a bobblehead. “Biology in a more... mystical, or maybe occult sense of the word. Eastern alchemy, occultism, things like that. Victor’s been having some trouble with his experiments, so I’m trying to help if I can.”

Jilli had to admit that she was impressed. Maybe even a little jealous. Not of Victor, or course, he wasn’t even remotely her type, but more so of the idea that Abigail of all people could find someone, and Jilli was still alone. Don’t get her wrong, she was definitely happy for Abby, but still... Yet, she supposed that’s just how life worked out sometimes.

“So you two are really serious, huh?”

“We’re... getting there,” Abigail blushed.

Of course, Jilli knew immediately what she meant. Abby and Victor were both incredibly awkward people. The fact that they’d gotten this far at all was shocking in itself. “Well, good for you.” Jilli nodded.

“Oh, but his project is fascinating,” Abigail’s eyes grew owl-like behind her glasses. “It’s very difficult to explain, but the way he’s combining mechanical parts and organic matter is incredible. The construction is perfect. The only problem is he isn’t sure how to get it to actually function.”

“What do you mean?” This was all starting to sound a little like science fiction to Jilli.

Abigail opened her mouth, shut it, then opened it again. “That essential human... something. I don’t want to call it a soul, because no one’s really sure what actually makes us function. Does that make any sense at all?”

“Sure,” Jilli said. She had learned that this was the best thing to do with Abigail sometimes.

“Oh, sometimes I wish that there weren’t any adults here,” Abigail sighed. “That would make everything easier. Then Victor wouldn’t have to work in secret. They don’t understand, of course. I wonder to myself occasionally what would happen if someone just... kicked them out, you know?”

Jilli would admit that yes, she had humored the thought, though she didn’t see how much good it would do her. She’d still be stuck here regardless. It wasn’t as if just getting rid of all the adults could net her a ticket back to Japan. Unless she could gain access to her bank account again. This was assuming, of course, that her mother hadn’t spent it all.

But before that train of thought got any farther, Mike sheepishly approached the table with a few heavy books clutched in his scrawny arms. Jilli thought she could make out the title: “The History of St. Adelaide’s” on one of the spines. That was weird, what would Mike want with that book?

“Uh, I’ve got what I need,” Mike mumbled, “Do I need to check these out?”

Nodding, Abigail led him over to her desk, while Jilli made ready to leave. Taking over the school, what a silly thought. She’d have to put it in the back of her mind for a daydream sometime.

~~ o ~~

Sonia dreamt of strange seas. The sky was pitch black around her, and there was not a star to be seen. Even the water below her was dark and cold, the waves silently journeying to distant shores. She floated above it all, not herself, or material in any way, merely an observer, as is often the case in dreams.

Below her, the water began to glow with a strange, white light. It wasn’t a reflection, as there was nothing but darkness above the waves. No, it came from deep within the depths. Dim, and distant they were at first, before growing and becoming more numerous. Whole towers of light, their very tops glowing blue and purple, came into view. It seemed as if there was a while city beneath the waves.

Sonia, who now found herself in possession of a hand, reached down towards the water. The lights beckoned and as she drew closer, a chorus of whispers joined it. It was calling to her, pulling her. Where had she seen it before? The name was on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn’t remember. Her mind was missing.

Below, the voices had begun to organize themselves into a melody, a tune that seemed to fill her whole being. She was so close, her hand a few inches from touching the black abyss below. If she could reach the lights, she would remember, she was sure of it.

She woke with her hand stretching towards the sky and tears running down her face. They ran down her cheekbones as she blinked and remembered where she was: her room, St. Adelaide’s, so far away from her home in Russia.

“Get a good education,” her mother had instructed. “Find honest work, not like your uncles.”

She didn’t know about the dreams, and how they had only gotten worse after coming here. It was always the same: the pitch dark water, the lights, the singing. And it always ended just before she touched the water.

Sitting up, Sonia glanced over to her alarm clock: 1AM. Nowhere near morning. She’s have to try and fall asleep again. But before she flopped back down again, something made her pause: singing. The same singing from her dream. She glanced to and fro, trying to find the source of the noise. And then her eyes came to rest on the window.

That glow, that eerie, pale light wasn’t from the courtyard outside, but form inside the room. It seemed to follow her everywhere, always in the corner of her eye. And there was something in it, some kind of thing, or person, but as much as she squinted and strained, Sonia could never make it out.

And now it was humming that strange, sad song. Or, at least it had been, before it seemed to notice her staring at it and cut off.

The two stared each other down, goosebumps all up Sonia’s arms. Then her heart stopped as the glow did something it had never done before: it spoke.

“Uyo aws latnasit.” It was pure gibberish, and Sonia shook her head in confusion. “Uoy od mrebmeer?”

“What are you?” Sonia asked, clutching her comforter to her chest as if it could protect her.

The glow almost seemed to sigh as it dimmed and faded away. “si iemt het onso.”

“Wait!” Sonia made to stand, but the glow was gone, and she deflated back onto the bed. Was she crazy? She must be, it must be a hallucination of some sort. But no one wants to think they’re crazy. Maybe Gil was right, maybe she was being contacted by spirits.

But right now, that didn’t matter. One thing was clear: Sonia wasn’t getting back to sleep anytime soon. It was going to be one late night.

#Ede Valley #Doug Bailey #Jilli Nakajima #Sonia Valentina Borozovna #Victor West #Abigail Hodge #Mike Miller #Gil Trenton #Backwards

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theswiftarmy · 4 years ago

Text

#33 – The ‘Cool S’ Stands For Swift

“Skywalker Sound… here to check-in for the conference… wink, wink… nudge, nudge” The man spoke in fragments, as though he were cautiously entering a speakeasy. “You know, ‘The Movietone’ conference.” The man leaned closer, looked around, pulled out a special paper, lowered his voice, “I’m here about ‘The Finding’.”

“Ah yes, The Finding” The front desk clerk replied in a low whispery voice and winked at the man while handing him a secret nametag and access badge, “They also call it The Anomaly, or The SMPTE Problem, or The Movietone Discovery”. The man nodded, taking the nametag and access badge, then he grabbed his rolling suitcase and walked off. Billie stepped forward, next in line, she leaned on the counter.

“Excuse me! Young man! NO DOGS ALLOWED IN THE HOTEL!” The clerk yelled out at a boy walking a dog across the lobby.

“But this is Old Shep!” The boy yelled back.

“Oh… Okay, yes, terribly sorry. Carry on.”

The boy continued walking with Old Shep.

“I’m sorry about that.” The lady said to Billie, she smiled delightfully. “Hi, welcome to the Westin Bonaventure, Ms. Eilish, are you and Finneas here to check in?” A delightful lady sang out.

“Umm…” Billie Eilish wasn’t sure what to say, she wasn’t aware of any hotel reservation. She had a lot of questions going through her mind at the moment, but wasn’t sure just what, exactly, to ask. At the mention of her brother’s name, she suddenly missed her brother, a lot, and she couldn’t imagine how much Sashy must miss his older sister, probably a lot. And she couldn’t imagine what it must be like to be apart forever, to never be able to just pick up the phone and call. She got excited at just the mention of her brother’s name. She felt a rush of emotion run through her. “Is… Finneas… Is he here?”

“Let me check.” She typed on the computer. “No, he has not checked in, but we have a reservation for the two of you.” The lady smiled. “Would you like to check-in now?”

Billie shook her head no, then paused her head shaking, fixing her eyes on the painting behind the front desk.

It was then Billie noticed it… She hadn’t noticed it before, but it was then, that very moment that she did notice, all the colors were wildly vivid, color corrected. Technicolor, like an Instagram filter sitting over top of real life. In real life, every blue blowing up with blue, every green gushing with green. It was similar to the movie Limitless with Bradley Cooper, but at the same time, not—this wasn’t uniform, only some colors popped while others blurred. The world, a little blurry between color corrected pop and fizzle living in a stained-glass mosaic. Every surface shiny shimmery, florescent flare The Sixties jive mixed with an Eighties vibe. Nothing seemed stationary (if you really focused on it), even just looking at a surface or at an object, everything appeared to move ever so slightly, as though it were alive or fluid or gas filled, a plasmavision, like stars twinkling in space, or the surface of the sun. At first glance you wouldn’t think much of it, but if you really looked, it was most definitely there. Synesthesia on steroids. The painting behind the check-in desk, a flowery pastel painting reminiscent of Art Nouveau with a hint of psychedelia, long flowing feminine flower stems. Like strands of hair in the wind. Billie noticed the stans close behind her. Kymmie stood gazing at the painting, she had seen it in her mystery journal. She pulled the mystery journal out and flipped through it, there, she held it up, where the page ended, the painting began—a perfect match, like a piece of a puzzle.

“We’ve been waiting for you—” The clerk lady continued, “We have a note here for you from a…” She paused to read the name, “Mr. Way, William B. Way.”

The lady handed Billie the note. Billie read it out loud. “Find forever and evermore, when you do you’ll know what for.”

“Find forever and evermore???” The stans standing behind Billie echoed in a questioning chorus of voices.

Only the stans had followed Billie over to the hotel lobby check-in desk. The others, the adults, were talking amongst themselves a short distance away. Like a high school sports game had ended and the parents were chatting while the teens hung out with their peers, away from the “uncool” parents.

Kymmie wrote a note down in her journal.

Hotel lobby. Front cover.

She was trying to make sense of these occurrences, why were things in the journal showing up in real life?

As soon as she finished writing her note, it rearranged itself.

Front cover. Hotel lobby.

Incoherence. “What?” Kymmie yelled at the book. “Stop doing that!”

“Are you talking to your journal?” Jillie shot Kymmie a weird look.

“No. Maybe. It’s just that… It’s complicated.”

“No, I get it… I talk to mine sometimes too.” Jillie held up Billie Eilish’s face plastered across her autograph book and journal. “I pretend like it’s Billie and that I’m talking to her. I tell her about the good times, and she gets me through the bad times.”

Billie looked at her stan, Jillie, then looked at the autograph book in Jillie’s hand with her own face plastered across it. She smiled but then also rolled her eyes. These fans. No lie, some of them are borderline creepy.

“Well, this isn’t REALLY my book, I mean, I…” Kymmie tried to reply, to explain that she’d just found it on the ground and now couldn’t get rid of the stupid thing, but stumbled over her words. “There’s too much going on to explain. You just had to be there when it all began… anyway… yeah. I’m talking to my journal.”

“Are you here for the conference?” The front desk lady asked.

“Conference?” Billie replied.

“Are you with the Foley Artists? You know, to discuss... The Finding… and The Problem?”

“What problem?”

“The SMPTE problem... you know... “ The lady lowered her voice and leaned in close, “The Movietone discovery...”

“No we don’t know.” Billie tilted her head slightly.

“I mean, I know a little…” Jillie tilted her head slightly too and then pinched her fingers close together and held them up trying to signal with her fingers a pinch of knowledge. She stood beside Billie nearly a mirror of almost every movement.

“And if you’d paid attention to your parents, you’d know a lot.” Billie was critical of her stan.

Jillie shrugged back. “What can ya do? Sometimes you don’t know, and sometimes you know. And sometimes didn’t know and then you find out and now you know!” Jillie randomly started to sing, “You know very well who you are, don’t let ‘em hold you down, and if you don’t know, now you know!”

“I LOVE THAT SONG!!!” Kymmie screamed out. She joined in singing with Jillie. Stan smiled at Kymmie and also joined in. Even Sashy the sassy Swiftie started singing along, in a Taylor Swift sort of cadence.

The quartet of teen voices took over… “Reach for the stars, you had a goal but not that many, ‘cause you’re the only one, and if you don’t know, now you know!”

Billie narrowed her eyes. She looked at the singing stans and then off into the distance.

“So you aren’t foley artists?” The clerk shook her head ignoring the teenagers who had now stopped singing.

“No... I mean, yes, Finneas and I experiment with sounds through our music…” Billie crossed her arms, Jillie crossed her arms. “The movietone discovery? What discovery?” Billie asked. Jillie mimicked Billie’s facial expressions.

“We may not be Foley artists, but maybe we’re escape artists!” Jillie joked.

“Jillie!” Billie looked down at her stan like the obnoxious little sister she never had.

“What?” Jillie looked back at Billie like the overbearing big sister she never had. “Lish, it’s true! I mean, I escaped from my parents. And found you!”

Billie made an annoyed face.

“Nevermind then.” The hotel woman quickly changed subjects, ”Will you be getting a room?”

“Ummm…” Billie looked back to the clerk and shook her head no, to be honest she didn’t know what they would doing next. Jillie also shook her head no in sync with Billie.

Billie Eilish wanted to scream. Oh my gosh THIS STAN!

She pushed her frustrations aside and smiled pleasantly at her stan. A fan is a fan after all.

A conversation walked behind Billie and the teen stans, two men in suits. They looked to be middle aged. But they weren’t color corrected, they were faded, 50s looking, sepia tone.

“You mean to tell me that they knew about this and did it anyway?”

“Yes.”

“How many others know?”

“We’re not sure.”

“And those movies, all those movies… the kids movies, the animated movies… you say the fairytales, the folklore they are based on was cursed, or perhaps enchanted… and you think the movies might be too? That the enchantment jumped from the old stories into the new movies? And possibly… into the minds of anyone who saw those movies?”

“It’s very possible, yes…”

“And what about the memo? The memo left on the Xerox machine.”

“The Memo… Yes… well… there wasn’t anything we could do about that, it escaped, it wanted into existence, and it found a way…”

The two men continued walking on out of earshot.

A twenty something woman rushed in front of Billie and the teens. “Sorry I’m late!” She apologized to Billie then turned to the clerk, “Mallory… from French Woods.” She pulled out an invite and handed it across the counter.

“Ah, I’m sorry, the live theater portion of the conference has unfortunately been canceled.

“What?” Mallory huffed. “But why?”

“Not enough demand. It’s all streaming these days.” The lady shrugged.

“No! That’s impossible. It all starts with live theater! There is no acting without beginnings and those beginnings start on the stage in front of an audience.”

“Well, you’re welcome to stay anyway, slip into any of the other presentations.”

“Ugh. Fine.”

“What’s French Woods?” Sashy asked the others in a whisper.

“It’s a summer camp. A theater and performing arts camp.” Jillie Jean said over her shoulder in a know-it-all voice. “Zooey D went there.”

“Who?” Sashy replied.

“You know, Desh! Deshy! Zooey Disney Channel!” The other stans shook their heads and shrugged their shoulders. “Zooey Deschanel!”

“Ohhhhhh.” They nodded in final recognition.

“ Ooooo, and that guy from Maroon 5 went there—

“Adam Levine?” Kymmie asked.

“Yeah. And like a ton of other famous people, The Magicians dude went there too, Hale Appleman, he’s sooooooooo dreamy, oh to be an older gay man.”

Billie made a “WHAT?!?!?!” face at her stan.

“What? He’s definitely not straight, I don’t stand a chance.” Jillie threw her hands up to accompany her ‘what?’.

“Jillie, you’re like half his age! Not even! Nevermind the fact that he’s not straight and you aren’t a gay man… wait… I’m not your parents, why am I even having this conversation with you.”

“In Loco Parentis.”

“No. Nope.” Billie turned to Carl Lyle Lawyer the Carlyle lawyer, “Carl… I’m not. You make a little lawyery note that I’m not. I know what In Loco Parentis means, Jillie, and I’m not your parental guardian in your parents’ absence. If any of them want to be,” Billie pointed to the non-teens of the group of chaperoning adults, “Then they can be.”

“In Lisho Parentis.” Jillie smiled.

“No!” Billie was over the top annoyed now.

“Are you casting a Harry Potter spell?” Kymmie asked Jillie.

“No. It’s Latin, it’s a legal term for ‘in place of a parent’.” Billie replied to Kymmie before Jillie could say anything more outrageous. Billie turned back to her stan. “ Just go back to what you were saying about Hale Appleman and Zooey Deschanel and Adam Levine and the French Woods kids. ”

“Well… Okaaaaaay fiiiiiiiine…” Jillie turned to the other teens, “Like I was saying, it’s like a summer camp for famous people, but, like… before they get famous. Acting beginnings. It’s where they literally all started out. It’s ‘the before’ time. It’s lit.”

“That’s really cool.” Kymmie nodded.

“Wow.” Stan added trying to be part of the conversation but unsure of what else to contribute. It was like he couldn’t think every time Kymmie spoke, or even looked at him.

“How do you know all that?” Sashy The Swiftie asked.

“I went there.” Jillie smiled at Sashy then smiled at Mallory. “Sup Mal.” Jillie waved at Mallory.

“Oh, hey Jillie!” I love the hair—makes you look like Billie Eilish.”

“Thanks.” Jillie smiled at Mallory. “I get that a lot.”

“You here with your parents?” Mallory asked in an over-the-top camp counselor-y voice.

“Yeah… they’re around here somewhereeeeuh.” Jillie pointed in all directions.

“Well, tell them I said hello!” Mallory smiled at Jillie a friendly smile.

“Will do!”

The clerk handed Mallory her check-in packet and name tag.

She turned to Billie. “I’m sooooo sorry to have cut in line, I love the hair, it makes you look like Mean Green Jellybean Jillie Jean. I LOVE her SOOOOO much! She’s like my favorite French Woods camper.”

Billie made a scrunched-up face. “Ummm… Thanks.” I need to change my hair. Billie thought. I REALLY need to change my hair. I WISH I HAD DIFFERENT HAIR!

Kymmie curiously flipped to the next page in her journal to find a woodsy scene. A building appeared on the page, it looked like a cabin nestled in the woods. The building sat beside a pathway with a fork in the road. Carved into two of the trees were arrows pointing in opposite directions of the forked path. Above one arrow the words “French Woods” were carved and above another “Folklore Forest”. It was nighttime. Light glowed from inside the cabin from small lamps. Two big windows let the moonlight shine through. The roof was covered in some sort of moss looking substance. Someone rested on the roof of the cabin staring up into the stary sky…

Shooting stars formed words… When you are young, they assume you know nothing…

Well, that’s true. Kymmie thought to herself. And I know a lot! I mean, I don’t know everything, but I know more than they give me credit for!

When you are young, they assume you know nothing…

Kymmie shook her head, the words continued to repeat like a loop.

When you are young they assume you know nothing…

“STOP!” She yelled at the book and she snapped it closed. The words in her mind suddenly extinguished.

Everyone stopped and looked at Kymmie. Her face flushed with embarrassment. “I, um… thought I…” She searched her mind for an explanation but couldn’t think of anything.

“You look like you could REALLY use some rest.” A second overly flamboyant male front desk clerk standing beside the delightful lady interrupted as he typed away on a computer. He smiled back at Kymmie, then stared down Billie.

The place was in full swing, light jazz music played, and guests toted bags to and fro. The rest of the party had finally walked over to join Billie and her curious cluster of Tik Tok Teen minions.

“I’m sorry,” Billie paused for a moment to gather her thoughts, “We were just, umm—” She looked at Sashy The Sassy Swiftie recalling the flock of Swifties in cardigans chasing them across the walkway above S. Figueroa Street then pointed towards the street, “We were just outside and you were closed—all the lights were off and the door was locked… Uh, I mean, looked like it was locked, not that we broke in or anything—"

“Honey, “ The male clerk leaned towards them, “It’s a hotel, we don’t lock the doors, we’re open 24/7.”

“Kind a like the L.L. Bean store in Freeport, Maine.” Jillie pointed out.

“Yeah. Exactly.” The clerk replied.

“That’s weird. When we were chased across the walkway we walked across to the pool deck. But, now that I think about it…” Billie trailed off.

“The walkway that crosses S. Figueroa doesn’t connect to the pool deck of the Westin Bonaventure Hotel.” The lady clerk said to Billie. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Billie shook her head yes. But she wasn’t sure. She wasn’t sure of anything right now.

“Do you have any bags!?!” A man walked up beside them with a cart. “Because I’m the baaaaaaag guy.”

Billie blinked then shook her head slightly and made a slightly contemptuous ‘what?’ face. “No. We’re not staying.”

“Are you sure?” The clerk asked.

“Yes.” Billie said back, slightly perturbed.

“Did he just say… I’m the bag guy, but sang it like Billie’s song Bad Guy?” Jillie asked recognizing one of her all-time favorite songs.

“Yep. He said it earlier.” Billie replied. “It was before you showed up.”

“Oh, he says that all the time. He still thinks it’s funny. Poor guy. No one has the heart to tell him…” The clerk made a face like he was extremely sorry for the bag guy. “It’s not funny anymore.”

Billie watched the bag guy walk away, he was off to pick up more bags from some other hotel guests. How many ‘bad guy’ references have come into existence since her song percolated its way into pop culture? How many new bad guys since her bad guy. How many fictional bad guys? How many real life bad guys? But the idea for bad guy itself wasn’t exactly a ‘come out of nowhere’ idea… no… it was a synthesis genesis of amalgamated art… the artist takes all those tiny little bits and pieces, the fragments of life and the world, suggestions from an earlier time in life and assembles them into something new. And then that art hits other artists, and in turn, creates more art… a never-ending feedback loop. Even her bad guy came from somewhere, even if it started as just a tiny little spark of an idea. Ideas are funny like that… they grow from the tiniest little thing into something so big it becomes an unstoppable force—an unstoppable force from a few words written on a piece of paper, or a voice note on a phone. But where did it all begin? Where were the true bad guy beginnings on and off the Hollywood screen? Where do bad guys start?

Even this story started as… You know, I don’t clearly remember how it started, actually, I can’t pinpoint the exact moment the creative spark hit, I know there was a start somewhere, I think it was something Taylor Swift posted online, and I read I, and it went into my mind, into my thoughts… and a short time later, I just… started writing this thing, blindsided by a meteor shower of ideas raining down on me that wouldn’t stop… here we are… from the tiniest little idea into this, under the influence of Taylor and Billie’s creative works of art, and it in turn created all of this inside my brain. But if I’m being honest, this story feels a bit like the idea is coming from somewhere on its own and just using my creative outlet as an avenue to come into existence… it’s as though the story just wants to tell itself and it’s using me because I’m here and able to tell it. The art is alive and connected to all the other art of past and present and future, using me as a vector for transmission. And here we are. Wherever here is…

“What day is it?” Billie asked.

“3/4.” The delightful lady chimed.

“Like March 4th?”

“No. It’s 3/4.” She repeated.

“Maybe it’s British? So, it’s backwards. Like, April 3rd.” Billie’s stan Jillie attempted to solve the puzzle.

“No. It’s 3/4.” The lady said again with a smile, correcting the stan.

“What? Okay, that just doesn’t make any sense. Well, how about the time?” It was dark outside but inside looking outside it was the middle of the day. It can’t just suddenly go from night to day in a matter of moments.

“6/8. The time is 6/8.” The man said. “Honey, you really should get some rest. Why don’t you just let us book you a room?”

“6/8? What on EARTH is going on here?!” Billie muttered to herself. Jillie did the same. Billie tossed Jillian Jean an annoyed sideways glance. It’s not that she didn’t like her stan copying everything she did, but it was just weird. Really weird. Jillie weird.

“Wait, that makes sense, we were just in 4/4, we’re in a different time. It’s music time, we changed time.” Kymmie took a crack at solving the perplexing puzzling pandoras box of a current predicament. “Is that right?” She asked.

“If that’s how you interpret it. Then that’s how you interpret it.” The Clerk replied.

“Okay, so which is it, are we in 6/8 or 3/4?” Billie asked Kymmie.

“They’re really the same thing.” A random hotel guest said back.

“No they’re not. Don’t even get me started with that. One is a compound duple, the other is not… Don’t make me say it… You know what, I’m gonna say it…” Billie paused.

“DUH!” Jillie blurted out before Billie could.

“Thank you Jillie.” Still weird, but, she was getting used to the idea of having a minion. She looked at the other teen pop stans then back to Jillie and grinned… minions. I have minions. Millions of minions.

Jillian Jean Billie’s number one stan smiled back. Assistant minion.

“We’re in 6/8, but there’s a compound meter of 3/4 time. Hour within a day.” Oak was making a few mental calculations.

“So we’re traveling through time and space? Like, some kind of music time…” One of the stans asked him, they all stared up wide eyed and eager to know more.

“Just be thankful this isn’t an odd meter, if this were progressive rock, or Math rock, we’d be really lost.” Pop Wansel replied to the stans while Oak continued to calculate, trying to figure out where exactly they had ended up, and if they had possibly traveled inside one of Taylor Swift’s songs.

“We need to get back to common time. I think? Honestly, I have no idea. I’m just guessing.” Billie pontificated. “My brother would know, that much I know for sure. Fin would know.”

“Wait, I have an idea… Excuse me Sir, what key are we in?” Kymmie asked.

“C major.” The clerk replied.

“Okay. Key of C… ” Billie’s facial expression looked as though she were about to come to some sort of big ‘Ah HA!’ conclusion… take on me… take me on…

Kymmie continued, “Yeah, key of C! Okay, so we’re close. I mean, C major and 4/4 were probably where we were before our house landed in this munchkin land, right? So we’re in the same key, but a different time.”

“Wow, I’m impressed.” Justin commented. “Munchkin land? That’s something from the REALLY olden days!”

“Are you making fun of me?” Kymmie put her hands on her hips.

Justin Bieber just smiled.

“Whatever, yes, I know what the Wizard of Oz is… Everyone does.”

With more art than ever before coming into existence, does anyone find it odd that some art, such as the Wizard of Oz seems to transcend time so effortlessly, while other art is here and gone—no matter how hard anyone tries to market it or promote it. Why is that? Ephemeral art versus art that plays hopscotch across time…

And you put it in all those old movies?

Yeah. But that was before… BEFORE we knew.

“So, if we’re in Oz, then where is Oz?” Scott asked the group in a somewhat rhetorical voice, almost as though he were talking to no one, but also everyone.

Billie thought for a moment then looked to her stan. Jillie shrugged. Jillie looked at Sashy, Sashy looked at Kymmie, Kymmie looked at Stan.

He started to speak in an unsure voice, answering the question in front of the entire class but not entirely sure the answer would be the right one, “Time and space has been replaced with key and music time.”

“Stan, that’s it! You’re a genius!” Kymmie said to him in an excited voice. She ran over and hugged stan then hopped back to where she was standing, bouncing, filled with energy. “We’re in some sort of music time!”

Stan looked away then back at Kymmie, he smiled. He looked at the others and the others nodded and smiled back in a ‘see, you got it, kid, don’t doubt yourself’ type of nod. Kanye nodded an extra approving nod at his teen stan. You got it kid.

Kymmie looked back at the clerk. “Hold on. What year is it?”

“Twenty Swiftie”.

“That’s not a year!” Jillie yelled back.

“I mean… I don’t have a problem with it.” Sashy stood with a hand on his hip.

Kymmie laughed then asked another question, “What year were you born?”

“Young lady, I’m not going to tell you how old I am!” The male clerk put his hand on his hip the same as Sashy.

“Okay,” Kymmie looked up and around the hotel interior then back to the clerk, “—then what year did this hotel open?”

“Now, that question, that I can answer. Nineteen Swiftie.”

“Again, I don’t have a problem with it.” Sashy began to whistle a Taylor Swift song.

“What did Taylor Swift’s music do to the world? This is crazy. This is soo crazy you guys.” Kymmie’s eyes were wide with wonder. They weren’t in Kansas or and they certainly weren’t in Los Angeles anymore, that’s for sure.

“I don’t think Taylor Swift’s music did anything to the world. There’s something else going on here. But I don’t think it’s her, or her music, I think there’s something else entirely going on, something bigger than just one artist or musician, or Hollywood movie director.” Billie watched as someone with a camera bag walked up and checked in.

“Sarah… Sarah Jones.” She paused, “Not the actress. I’m here for—”

“Ah, yes, we have you down as a camera assistant. Sarah Jones, camera assistant. Is that correct?”

“Yes.”

“We were instructed to give you this note from an anonymous source.”

She read the note aloud to herself in front of the hotel clerks. “Midnight River meeting meets at midnight…” She looked up at the clerks and nodded, “Got it.”

The clerks nodded back.

Sarah eyed another note behind the desk with ‘Casties’ sprawled across the front, “Is that note for the casting directors?”

The clerks nodded back.

Sarah smiled briefly, “Casting, just like screenwriting… pure intentions, an innocent dream of what could be… before it gets derailed by a train barreling into your movie set, into your life, at full force.” Her faced went emotionless for a moment and then returned to a smile before mixing with melancholy, then back to a smile, a forced smile. The clerks then glanced to Billie and her minions then hurried off with her bag of camera gear as though she were late for something.

“Who’s Sarah Jones?” Kymmie asked the other Tik Tok Teens, they shrugged back. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and then shook her head and growled at it, a ‘grrrrrr’ sound. “If only my phone worked and I could look stuff up! How did people ever live without cell phones?” Kymmie said in a frustrated tone as she tinkered with her phone hopelessly. “GIVE ME KNOWLEDGE NOW!”

“Kymmie. Chill.” Jillie said in a chill voice. “None of our phones work. Okay.” Jillie held her phone out for Kymmie, reassuring her.

“Yeah. We’re in some kind of phoneless land of Oz.” Sashy held his phone out for Kymmie to see as well.

Then Stan held his phone up too placing it beside the others.

Kymmie put her phone beside the others and they held it up in the air like they were trying to get a signal from the sky, or space.

“E.T. PHONE HOME!!!!” Justin Bieber yelled out.

“JUSTIN!” Billie scolded him.

“I thought it was funny.” Carl said then laughed, as did Scott. Carl was enjoying his daughter momentarily being weaned away from the dang thing, all his previous attempts to separate her from her phone had failed.

“Billie, they have no idea what that means.” Justin said smirking.

“Yeah we do!” Kymmie flashed a look of annoyance. “We know what E.T. is… or who E.T. is… whatever, we know about E.T.”

The Tik Tok Teens put their phones back in their pockets and nodded at one another. It was then that they made an unspoken agreement that they would figure out how to get life as they know it, back. For what is life as an aspiring Tik Tok Teen social media influencer without a working phone and social media apps to click on and type in and snap photos and feed with all sorts of daily life events!?

“Midnight River meeting meets at midnight?” Billie interrupted the teens by repeating the phrase from moments ago back to herself. She was trying to figure out its meaning.

“What does that mean?” Jillie looked up at Billie, Bilie shook her head in a sprinkler motion back at her stan indicating she wasn’t sure.

“Umm…” Scott interrupted, “Does anyone else see a lobster walking through the lobby, or is it just me?” He said out of the blue.

Everyone turned to look at the walking lobster. “Oh… we definitely see it. At first I just thought it was a dude in a lobster costume but it’s definitely an upright lobster the size of a human.”

“Okay, now I’m starting to question my sanity. Maybe this is phone withdrawal? Maybe this is what happens when you can’t use social media? I’m in social media withdrawal! I wonder if I can die from this condition?” Kymmie put her phone back in her pocket again giving up on the device. She needed something to keep her mind busy, to keep her thoughts occupied—too much idle time. She took out the mystery journal and flipped through the pages. It was there that she found the ‘Cool S’ or ‘Superman S’ or also known as the ‘Stussy S’. Or, perhaps it’s the ‘Swiftie S’. “Whoa… cool.” She immediately tried to replicate it on her own. Every time she drew another ‘Cool S’ the book would autocomplete adding the letters WIFT next to the ‘S’ to make the word SWIFT. “Sashy! Come over here.” She waved to the Swifite and he walked over. She showed him the ‘Cool Superman Stussy Swiftie S’. “Have you ever seen that before?”

“Whoa, cool. I think so? I think my older sister drew this for me once.”

“What are you guys looking at?” Stan asked.

Kymmie waved him over. “Look! It’s this… cool S.”

“Whoa. That’s cool. That’s a cool S.” Stan was mesmerized by it. They all were.

“Did you say the cool S?” Oak Felder asked trying to look over at the book. He’d nearly forgotten about ‘The Cool S’. Another S appeared on its own before their very eyes, Two sets of three lines, then another four lines—two at the top and two at the bottom, after a moment pause, the rest of the lines filled in. Fourteen lines total. The diamond “S” shape was then joined by “wift” immediately after the Cool S completed drawing itself.

“Yeah. I guess? Is that what this is called?” Kymmie held up the journal for Oak to see better. She pointed to the S.

“Yeah. That’s the cool S. Also known as the Stussy S, Super S, Superman S, Universal S, Pointy S, Graffiti S…”

“Wow.” The teens replied in unison.

“They say the origin of it is unknown.”

The Secret S

“Really?”

Oak nodded.

“Whoa.” They replied again in unison. Eyes darting from the S to Oak to the S and back to Oak again.

“Maybe Taylor knows the origin?” Kymmie said to the group then looked at Sashy. Sashy shrugged. “Taylor MUST know! I bet Taylor is behind this. All of this. She’s is The Cool S! She started it! THE COOL S IS ALL TAYLOR!”

The Swift S. The Swiftie S. The Secret Swiftie S. Sashy the Sassy Swiftie S.

“If Taylor is behind this mystery ‘S’ my sister never mentioned it.” He replied, thinking, trying to recall every memory from the far side of his mind. “I only ever remember her drawing it once. Right before she drew it she said she thought the S stood for secret, then she ripped a piece of paper from her journal and drew it in the corner of that paper. She folded it several times so the Secret S was on the top, then she opened it up again unfolding the paper. Inside she wrote a note. After she finished writing it she handed the note back to me with the S facing me. As she handed the note to me, she said to open it if I ever needed her when she wasn’t around. I told her I could only promise not to read it until I could no longer stand not knowing what she wrote—which may not be long. I took the note back to my room and hid it to stop myself from knowing the secret. I hid it so well that I had forgotten where I hid it. I found it after she died. The note said, You’re my favorite little brother… okay, yes, you’re my only little brother, but you’re my favorite anyway. I love you. Love, big sis.”

He wiped away a tear.

Billie looked sympathetically at Sashy.

No one said a word for an entire minute until one of the hotel clerks started giving them the stink eye.

“We drew that in high school… We’d write it between our notes.” Pop said slightly nostalgic. He laughed a nervous laugh, breaking the moment of silence for Sashy’s sister.

“Between? Like what do you mean? Was there an emoji for it? What app did you use?” Kymmie asked back.

Pop laughed again, a more comfortable laugh. “No. We just wrote notes. We didn’t have tablets—Pen and paper, or pencil from time to time.”

“I don’t think my notetaking software would let me do that. And the teacher took away rights to the doodle function. But we can pick from a list of school approved emojis.” Jillie made some sort of shape with her hands that was supposed to be a sad emoji.

Scott leaned over to look at The Cool T-Swift S, “I feel like that’s terrible for learning, there has to be some part of the brain that’s missing out, you can’t just draw creatively between your notes?”

“Nope. Just words and emojis. And the teacher ‘screenshares’ with us and deletes anything that isn’t class appropriate. I’m pretty sure this Cool S thing would get a biggie no.” Jillie shook her head no, a biggie no.

“That’s awful.” Oak said sourly.

“Tell us about it.” The TikTok Teens complained in unison. “We can’t do ANYTHING cool in school.”

“Well… Homesworks is cool.” Jillie smiled. “I do what I can to make it cool! Okay, that’s not really IN school, that’s AFTER school… point half made.”

“School approved emojis…” Lizzo shook her head disapprovingly. “Sounds to me like a system designed to stifle creativity.”

A man pushed between them apologetically explaining he was late for something and politely asking if he could just check in real quick.

The desk clerk worked away on the computer.

“Ah, Mr. Bennington, right this way, I’ve got you all checked in and ready to go, your hotel room awaits you, welcome to California. I do see you have a lunch meeting with someone, he’s waiting for you right over there. We’ve already reserved a table for you the two of you.”

Jillie froze. “Bennington. That’s Chester Bennington!!!”

“It can’t be... He died!” Kymmie shook her head tucking away her notebook. “Maybe I died? Maybe I died from social media and phone withdrawal?” Kymmie looked off into the distance blankly.

“I’m impressed that you know who Linkin park is.” Justin Bieber smirked at Kymmie.

Kymmie clinched her fists, breaking out of her stare. “It’s getting old Justin! I know a lot of stuff. Stop giving me a hard time because I don’t know who The Beatles are. I get it, everyone should know them. But I don’t. And I’m sorry, but you know what? I’m not sorry because I know a lot of stuff! I’m a straight A student! I have a perfect GPA and I plan to attend UCLA’s School of Theater, Film & Television to become a screenwriter. Or maybe a director, I’m not sure yet. Like, I want to be an influencer, but also an actress, but I want to do lots of other stuff too, like, an activist actress and director, and writer, producer, costume designer, makeup, special effects, and a social media influencer… live theater… maybe this Foley art thing too… Honestly, maybe I’ll just do it all!”

Justin smiled. “Kymmie, if you want to break Hollywood, then break it.”

“I will!” Kymmie nodded like she was serious. She is serious. “And once it’s broken, we can fix it. This is war.” Kymmie looked for a moment like she had war paint on… ready for battle. A gust of wind blew through the hotel lobby, as though an old window had just burst open during a thunderstorm. Justin took a step back and felt for a moment like he was on the edge of a cliff as he slipped Kymmie reached out and pulled him back. All of it felt real. It was real. It is real, really real.

“Whoa. That was really weird.” Justin said as goosebumps formed on his arms. “It was like we were just inside of… a dream.”

“Yeah.” Kymmie shook her head yes. Only the two of them had momentarily shared that odd blip of an experience. “Wow, sorry, I… I don’t know what just… happened.”

“Welcome to California? But didn’t Chester B live here in the big C, Cali?” Jillie continued her initial thought ignoring Kymmie and Justin. “Why would you welcome someone to California that lives in California?”

“Maybe he was traveling?” Billie replied to her stan.

“Okay, then wouldn’t they have said welcome back?” Jillie questioning.

“I think you’re reading too much into it.” Carl’s voice was very serious, a lawyerly tone reviewing the situation with his inside legal experience. As though knew something but decided to cover it up.

“Wait… If we’re in music time… I mean music transcends death. In music, an artist only dies when their music is gone forever… As long as their music lives on, they never die.” Jillie put on a thinking face. Smoke began to puff from her ears.

“Jillie… Is there smoke coming out of your ears?” Billie watched as the smoke

“Whoa.” The other stans watched Jillie in wonderment.

“What?!?!” She put her hands over her ears and shook her head back and forth, then removed her hands. “Is it still there?” She turned side to side showing her ears. “Did I get it? Is it gone?”

“Okay it stopped. That was weird.” Billie laughed with amusement. “There is something seriously strange going on here, like… really strange.” She gazed slowly around the hotel again trying to figure out is this the real life? Or is this just… fantasy.

“Would you like a complimentary bottle of water?” The desk clerk asked.

Billie looked at it and saw it was again, The Whale’s brand of water. Banksy water. She shook her head no but it wasn’t Billie the clerk was asking, it was Chester Bennington. He took the water and walked away. Billie Eilish watched Chester Bennington walk across the hotel lobby as he removed the cap from the complimentary bottle of water and took a few sips, then placed the cap back on the bottle, he stopped and shook hands with a man in a suit. The man looked at her for a moment but didn’t seem to see her, his facial expression remained unchanged—The Whale. It was as though The Whale didn’t even recognize the same group that had been in his office just hours ago But why? Was this the same man? Or maybe The Whale has a twin, or triplets, or quadruplets, clones, an entire pod… The Whales of Hollywood.

“Okay, what is this? Like, seriously… What the heck IS all of this?” She didn’t want to say anything further about The Whale. She didn’t trust him. She knew that he was probably behind all of this, Taylor told her he was, and she trusted Taylor. But how involved were any of the others? Was everyone just blindly following orders from someone else all of it coming from some mastermind at the top of a pyramid? But how did no one else see him standing there. How was it that the only person who seemed to know anything was Carl the lawyer? Carl Lyle Lawyer, innocent little Tik Tok Teen wannabe Instagram influencer Arianator Kymmie’s dad. And he wasn’t giving anything away. It was as though everyone, but Billie and the Lawyer had blinders on. No one could see what was going on, no one could see the writing on the wall… the writing on the computer screen. At what BPM does the computer curser blink. Blinks per minute. The final word count. Every coffeeshop in LA filled to the brim with laptops open to Final Draft, ideas flowing out of minds and into the real world... the craft escaping like the doors to a zoo of ideas unlocked and open, letting the animals run from the cages.

“I don’t know. I don’t know what it all is… I don’t know what this is.” Kymmie answered Billie, she looked down at the mysterious journal she found, she reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone, she held one in each hand, the broken phone, and the mystery journal. “It’s something. That much I know.” She looked up at Billie.

“There she is again.” Scott said suddenly interrupting.

“Where’s who again?” Kymmie asked.

“Lana Clarkson.”

“Kelly Clarkson? Where!” Jillie squealed. “OH MY GOSH I LOVE HER SHOW!”

“No. Lana Clarkson.”

“Who’s that?” Jillie replied with a perplexed.

“She was killed by Phil Spector in the Pyrenees castle.”

Jillie Jean shook her head and said “I have no idea what any of that is?”

“I’ll fill you in later.” Kymmie smiled.

Lana walked across the hotel lobby and then continued towards an exit.

“This is ridiculous.” Billie said frustrated.

“You mean rediculish.”

“Jillie, not now.” She grumbled at her stan, “I’m trying to process at the moment. There are dead people walking amongst us.”

“Billie, I’m your number one fan and all, but don’t ever tell me ‘not now’.” Billie’s stan Mean Green Jellybean Jillie Jean rested her fists against her hips with her elbows stretched out. Her face also mean looking. “If you cross us,” Jillie pointed at the other Tik Tok Teens. “Just know, we’ll Tik-Tok-Toe you out of the equation.”

“What?” Billie replied to her teen stan flabbergasted.

“Lish. Listen to me, as your number one fan I’m telling you right now, us Tik Tok Teens have powers that you can only dream of. If we want you out of the equation, you can be canceled… like that.” Jillie snapped her fingers. “We will squash you like a bug. We make things go viral—” She smiled, a devilish grin, “—and people will believe everything we tell them to believe about you. If you ever cross me, and I mean this sincerely, no one will listen to your music, ever, again. Got it? All it takes it a little bit of edited video.” Jillie made a slicing of a knife across the neck motion. “Billie Lish Lish… CANCLED!”

Billie Eilish gulped and nodded.

“Lucky for you, we don’t have Tik Tok right now. But watch yourself. Because as soon as we get it back…”

“Okay… Jillie. Got it.” Billie smiled nervously at her fan. Man, fans can go from being kind of cool to downright scary really fast. Strangie scary.

Jillie flashed a smile and flipped from serious to silly like a flash of lightning. “Anyway, are you sure they’re dead people? Maybe they’re holograms, like those Coachella holograms. Look, there’s Tupac and Biggie just hanging out.” Jillie thought about how the Whales business card contained those wild visual FX illusions.

“Shut up. That’s not possible!” Billie was starting to lose her cool with this stan. Maybe she shouldn’t have just told Jillie to shut up, but you know what, warning or not, what are these Tik Tok Teens going to do, they don’t have Tik Tok right now… there’s nothing to be worried about, they don’t have their powers right now… and anyway, let’s be honest, viral video, people stop listening to her music, Billie Eilish canceled… please, THAT’s never going to happen. No one can cancel Billie Eilish, especially not some overly obsessed teenage Tik Tok stans.

“What’s not possible? That Tupac and Biggie are here, or that they’re hanging out together?”

“Both.” Billie grumbled at Jillie. She never thought one super fan could drive her to the brink of madness but she was sure if one ever did, it would be this one.

Jillie watched at Tupac and Biggie across the hotel lobby, “I mean they were friends at one point, before all the money and fame…”

“Money and fame has its price.” Billie said under her breath as she observed The Whale. If there’s anyone she should be worried about sabotaging her career with damaging edited viral videos, it’s not Jillie, it’s The Whale.

“Neither murder was ever solved, right?” One of the teens asked while watching Tupac and Biggie in what seemed like a friendly conversation.

“Yeah.”

It’s all about the inner circle. Keep your inner circle tight and fame can be handled just right. But The Whale knew that, he knew the way to someone wasn’t going after that person, but to infiltrate their inner circle. Any celebrity can handle fame as long as they have a solid circle of family and friends, but a celebrity on their own without a circle becomes vulnerable, lost. No celebrity goes it alone, find out who keeps them together behind the scenes, off camera, get to that person; the celebrity will become putty in your hands, to mold how you like.

“Okay, so, ARE we dead?” Kymmie asked wondering if maybe Billie was right.

“No I don’t think so...” Her dad replied.

“Then where are we?” The tone in her voice less curious than before and slightly more concerned, innocence dripping off her, starting to melt away just a tiny bit, like melting snow covering the true inner soul.

“I’m not at liberty to… “ He paused, “I’m not sure.” Kymmie’s dad corrected himself then looked around the room stopping once and making eyes with The Whale before continuing to scan the room. The Whale and the lawyer were feigning strangers, a charade of who could care less.

The Whale Song was loud and clear, and it sang out in a frequency no one could hear. It is indeed true that the best way to get to a celebrity isn’t directly, it’s through their support network the one they built to handle the fame, the foundation under them. No celebrity goes it alone, find out who keeps them together behind the scenes, then get to those people, and they will be putty in your hands. Send those Strangies in sideways instead. If you can get a Strangie or two into the inner circle, keep the celebrity guessing who they can really trust.… that’s when the game really gets interesting.

‘#FreeBritney’ momentarily appeared in a large mirror hanging on the wall followed by more words. The words glowed in the mirror, neon pink, the appearance of brightly lit LED lights… “PASS THE FREE BRITNEY ACT!” Below that another set of words… “Be free from financial conflicts of interest! FREE BRITNEY FROM THE WHALE!” Then as quickly as it appeared, the mirror message faded away before anyone knew it was even there.

“Billie, your hair!”

“ Whoa.” Billie replied, checking it in the same mirror that had just displayed it’s neon pink plea. Her hair was blonde.

“What happened!?!?!” Jillian Jean squealed. “HOW DID YOU DO THAT!?!?!”

“I don’t know.” Billie Eilish touched her hair with her fingers wondering if it were real. It felt real. “Unreal…” She stared at her reflection in the mirror. “Well, to be honest, I kind of was annoyed that you copied my hair, so I thought in my mind that I needed to change my hair, just go blonde—and now it’s blonde.”

“WHAT-uh?!?! LISH! That’s weeeeeeeeeeird. You wanted your hair to be blonde and poof, it turned blonde! Just like that!” Jillie worked out in her head but also outload.

“Yeah.” Billie continued to stare at herself in the mirror holding a lock of her blonde hair between her index finger and thumb, “ Weird.”

“But we don’t match anymore!” Jillie pointed to her now outdated Billie Eilish green hairstyle.

“Well… that’s too bad.” Billie smiled.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get my hair to match yours soon enough!”

Billie ran her fingers through her new hair, “Take your time Jillie, there’s no rush.” She loved the new look, the new her.

Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne began to play overhead. The music whirled through the hotel like taffy stretching and tugging inside a machine. A warbled version of the song. Like it wasn’t supposed to be in the room, as though someone were pulling and pushing it into the hotel lobby, uninvited.

@taylorswift @wishuweregay

#taylor swift #billie eilish #free britney

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esonetwork · 4 years ago

Text

Timestamp #TW33: Rendition

New Post has been published on https://esonetwork.com/timestamp-tw33-rendition/

Timestamp #TW33: Rendition

Torchwood: Rendition (1 episode, s04e02, 2011)

Airborne chemistry and conspiracies abound!

The Torchwood team is escorted to Heathrow. Rex takes the vortex manipulator and dismisses Rhys and Anwen before forcefully loading the team on a waiting plane. The CIA is involved as well since both the United States and Britain are asking a lot of questions about the rendition. Rex takes a trip to the lavatory where he considers his near-death experience while swallowing an aspirin.

Gwen and Jack catch up on their lives since the 456 incident. Rex asks Jack about the vortex manipulator while being hostile toward the team. Jack asks about morphic fields, explaining the basics of it to Rex. He also makes fun of Rex by telling him that the vortex manipulator is reporting low sodium levels. Rex calls Dr. Vera Juarez, who verifies the diagnosis, and then snacks on a bag of pretzels.

At the CIA, Esther gets word that Torchwood is being brought to the United States and she asks supervisor Brian Friedkin about working on the case. Esther returns to the floor while Friedkin consults with agent Lyn Peterfield on the plane via text message. Through a mysterious box, he consults someone about the morphic fields. The response: “Remove”.

Oswald Danes prepares himself for a television interview by raiding the craft services table. He muses about his future and how he’s more of a prisoner now that he’s free. During the interview, Danes dodges the interviewer’s questions, but is stunned when confronted by a photograph of his 12-year-old victim. In a sobbing fit, he says that he’s sorry for what he did and apologizes for the person that he is. The production assistant apologizes for her rude behavior as Danes leaves. He also meets Jilly Kitzinger, a supposed talent spotter who congratulates him on his acting performance. She offers her services as a public relations representative. He turns her down when he gets an offer to appear on Oprah.

Peterfield prepares drinks for the prisoners and slips poison into Jack’s cola. When the effects take hold, he rushes to the lavatory and vomits while musing that his immune system is also critically vulnerable. Gwen puts the data points together and prompts Rex to search Lyn. Lyn is quickly apprehended and Jack identifies the poison as arsenic based on a Slovenian boyfriend who took it for skincare. Rex is confused since that was in the 1800s.

Esther happens across strange events at the CIA, including mysterious agents prowling through her account and Rex’s office. She’s also in receipt of an odd sum of money from China, framing her as a double agent. She swipes her co-worker’s badge and makes her escape. Come to find out, the agents are under orders from Friedkin.

Dr. Juarez attends an impromptu medical conference about the Miracle. She learns that people are still aging and can be critically injured, but skin cells will still divide and die like normal. In fact, the Miracle is limited to humans. Microorganisms will become resistant to medicine as they have an eternity to feed on bodies and grow stronger. Vera also learns food and medical supplies will drop rapidly and the ever-growing population could become a big problem.

Rex calls Vera for help with Jack’s condition. The conference attendees guide Gwen and Rex in how to mix an antidote, but Lyn interferes. Gwen dispatches Lyn with a punch to the face and then injects Jack with the antidote. It’s painful, but it does the trick. Rex calls Friedkin and arranges for a security team to meet them upon landing.

Jilly Kitzinger makes the rounds, now trying to woo Vera. Vera figures out that Jilly works for a pharmaceutical company and initially rejects the offer, but changes her mind when Jilly gives her a tip about how to navigate Congress.

The plane lands and everyone is escorted to the terminal. Esther calls Rex to warn him as the security team frees Lyn. Rex has also received a sum of money from China. As Esther races to the airport, Rex bluffs his way through freeing Jack and Gwen. In the ensuing fight, Rex snaps Lyn’s neck, but under the current circumstances, she’s still alive.

Jack gets his vortex manipulator back as Esther and Vera arrive at the airport. Rex gets a bag of painkillers from the doctor and he piles into Esther’s Mini with Gwen and Jack. Their escape is briefly stalled by Lyn who bobbles around before collapsing. Esther drives on, wondering what the hell is happening.

Gwen answers her with a smirk: “Welcome to Torchwood.”

For what is mostly a bottle episode, this one pushes the plot along quite well. Someone wants Torchwood gone for good, presumably to prevent them from stopping the Miracle, and those battle lines are drawn here. The team is certainly not cohesive, but we have a good understanding of who’s who.

We also see a lot of ground covered with respect to the Miracle’s effects on humanity and the planet. The medical industry is panicking as they realize that the rules of the game have substantially shifted. I loved that writer Doris Egan (who also worked on Smallville, Tru Calling, and House, M.D.) worked the Greek myth of Tithonus into the discussion of eternal life without eternal youth. Al bacio!

The frantic quest for an antidote for Jack was very humorous, especially as Gwen got more stressed, and reminded me of the Doctor/Donna blitz in The Unicorn and the Wasp.

Overall, a good continuation of the plot with substantial world building.

Rating: 4/5 – “Would you care for a jelly baby?”

UP NEXT – Torchwood: Dead of Night

The Timestamps Project is an adventure through the televised universe of Doctor Who, story by story, from the beginning of the franchise. For more reviews like this one, please visit the project’s page at Creative Criticality.

#Timestamps Project #Torchwood #Torchwood: Miracle Day

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numbaoneflaya · 4 years ago

Note

You can count on me to pull up with a thousand of questions sbdhdh. A3, A22, C5, D3, F3 for Jilly ; A18, A23, B9, C1, H2 for Nirn ; A5,B9, C8, D1, I5, for Thurwen ; A9, A13, C1, E8, and G6 for Valkya? 😏

A3, A22, C5, D3, F3 for Jilly ;

A3.Do they have any emotional or psychological conditions? Are they aware of it? Do they try to treat it?

Shawty got that stockholm syndrome in a way. She is…. Sometimes aware of it, though she wouldn't call it that any more. Maybe at first in the basement she was more aware, but now that she can come and go she thinks its a thing of the past. tries not to dwell on it. Kind of in a “well its literally not that bad its kind of fun its kind of romantic were just quirky <3” way, will get mad if someone insists she has stockholm or that the relationship is fucked. Will get enraged and upset on Vincent's behalf, probably cry and yell at you.

A22. Is your OC intended to be found generally attractive? Unattractive? Average? Is there a reason why?

I intended her to be fairly average, maybe kind of cute. It's generally the way she dresses/acts in public that draws attention, not her looks. I tend to make most of my ocs on the average scale besides a select few.

C5. Do your OC’s morals and rules of common decency go out the window when it comes to those they don’t like, or when it’s inconvenient? Aka, are their morals situational?

Good question…. Jillys morals are pretty simple- always be kind and nice, murder and hurting other people is bad, and you shouldnt lie. She sticks to those pretty strictly herself despite the situations she gets put in, often to her own detriment. But she doesn't always put a stop to those behaviors from the people she surrounds herself with, so she's sort of accomplice to bad acts of violence just by not snitching. So somewhat situational? She tries not to think about it.

D3. How comfortable are they with the idea of death?

Not comfortable! She hadn't seen a lot of it before her early twenties and was always sort of sheltered. dead fish are flushed down the toilet bcs they go to the ocean to live again, right? Thought cows and such all died of old age peacefully before they were made into burgers until she was like… twelve. 💀Won't kill mice and other critters despite her prey drive bcs she would feel too bad. And this is just for animal death, she's much more uncomfortable with human death. Also a thing she tries to ignore.

F3. Could they ever live in a “tiny home”?

God no. She hates small spaces unless she's hiding in them and tiny homes have no room for all the shit she stashes! No room for zoomies, or climbing on the furniture, or wrestling around on the floor. It would be filled with junk within a week.

A18, A23, B9, C1, H2 for Nirn ;

A18. Do they get jealous easily? Do they feel bad if they do?

He's never had much to be jealous of, as he's never really been over involved in romantic relationships. They were usually mutually beneficial and somewhat clinical in nature. Hes also pretty sure of himself and his value as an asset and lover. If he finds someone who peaks his interest and they become an item though, he might get jealous if he catches them flirting with other people. Hell be peeved at first but know flirtation in business has its value, so to make himself feel better might flirt with someone else while they are nearby. Make a game of it, see who wins.

A23. Does your OC place much importance on their appearance? Do they feel confident in it?

Appearances are crucial to him and spends a lot of time and money making sure he looks his best. He needs to appear above the rabble and impenetrable, dressing well and having immaculate posture and an air of both grace and otherworldliness.

B9. What kind of humor does your OC like the most? Slapstick, ironic, funny sounds, scare pranks, xD sO rAnDoM…

Definitely not one to find fart jokes funny. Very rarely laughs genuinely or full heartedly, he keeps all his expressions of emotion close to his chest. Sharp sardonic wit is appealing to him in the right circumstances, even a jab directed at himself can make him chuckle if it's well formed enough. Irony almost always gets him, even if its dark irony or gallows humor. Bit of a hard nut to crack. Would laugh enough that hed have to cover his mouth with his hand if he were to see Felix fall face first into mud, though. More often than not you can tell he finds something amusing by a gleam in his eyes and a slight squint.

C1. Does your OC have a moral code? If not, how do they base their actions? If so, where does it come from, and how seriously do they take it?

Well he used to have a real moral code :/. Now I mean…. The ends justify the means. By any means necessary. He considers his family's needs first, then the good of the world, then any individual in the world. Has ordered executions of entire families, had babies stolen and sent away, sent armies to certain death knowing full well they would all die, commanded individuals be tortured for information, sacrificed many in what he considers to be a game of chess where he is the player and others are the pawns. He finds senseless violence and savagery to be unforgivable, but if violence has a sense and purpose to employ it, then he will do so.

H2. Is your OC a thoughtful partner, in whatever aspect of that you want to cover?

Nirn tends to be a very thoughtful and attentive person in general, just for the wrong reasons lmaoooo. But with a lover? He's going to be utilizing that to show them how much he cares and using his powers for good. Mention you like a certain fabric while shopping one time and then complain your favorite tunic has a wine stain in it several months later, he's going to be taking your measurements for a new one in your preferred material without a moment's notice. Very keen on picking up moods, expressions and tone. Also has a very good memory. He doesn't really think about it but gifts are how he shows his love. Also a great attentive listener.

A5,B9, C8, D1, I5, for Thurwen ;

A5. Are they good at handling change in their life?

I would say so, yeah. Shes been used to things constantly changing since she was little and has had little to no control on outside influences. Shes also not one to over think about the past and lament, shes more of a one foot in front of the other, the only time is the present kind of gal. Of course large changes like becoming a warden were a bit more severe, but shes mostly able to think in the present as long as she has immediate problems to deal with.

B9.What kind of humor does your OC like the most? Slapstick, ironic, funny sounds, scare pranks, xD sO rAnDoM…

Slapstick is always gonna make her laugh as long as nobody gets seriously hurt, even if its her own ass tripping into a tree. Not a fan of scare pranks, 0/10 recommend trying to scare Thurwen. You will end up with a broken nose at best and an angry elf. Likes puns, but she's the one to groan at them and try and hide the grin spreading across her face. Gallows humor but only if its her in the gallows, otherwise doesn't find it funny at all. If a little kid calls someone a fartcicle she will be tears in the eyes giggling, which is hard when your warden commander and everyone looks toward you to be serious and mature gyshsdhdfsghsd.

C8. Is your OC more practical or ideal morally? I.e., do they hold people to high expectations of behavior even if it’s not realistic for the situation, or do they have a more realistic approach and adapt their morality to be more practical?

She definitely holds herself to moral ideals and is very hard on herself, but has realistic moral expectations for others. She can understand self serving and people only wanting to survive and she will only give people a little bit of shit for it, no one's perfect. But then she expects herself to be perfect and berates herself constantly for not living up to the hero of ferelden warden commander ideals.

D1. How religious is your OC? What do they practice, if anything? If they don’t associate with any religion, what do they think of religion in general?

Atheist ever since her mom died when she was a kid, but now Shes in a weird mixed state ever since the urn of sacred ashes where shes like. fuck the maker, but Andraste is cool I guess. So respects/believes in the power of Andraste while thinking the maker is a piece of shit and the chantry sucks ass. Even she doesnt know what she really believes, but she did see the ghosts of Andrastes disciples and Shartan, used her ashes as healing salve, killed an old god, etc. So shes been in a weird place recently, crisis of faith/non faith pretty continual.

I5. Are they a good cook?

I mean…. She can cook basics. Shes been feeding herself and the alienage kids since she was old enough to walk so she knows how to get protein and make things edible. Does it taste good? Probably not. She didnt see her first spice till she was 17 years old, but she can skin a rabbit in seven seconds.

LA9, A13, C1, E8, and G6 for Valkya? 😏

A9. Does your OC make a lot of excuses? For themselves? Others?

She tries to excuse bad behavior of herself or others a lot, yeah fgdgdsfhdhs. Mostly she doesnt have to make excuses for herself because she can wholeheartedly be like “yeah i fucked up but whatever im sexy and large and awesome and everyone loves me 🙄whatever baby” and when other people fuck up shes pretty sympathetic even though they are not as large nor as sexy. Shes very used to forgiving and excusing herself its totally alien to her when she really fucks up and is suddenly like wait… valkya…. Did bad?? What is this feeling. Shame?? Guilt?? IMPOSSIBLE.

A13. Does your OC have any phobias? If so, where did they come from?

She hates those giant bugs in morrowind and valenwood a whole fucking lot but I wouldnt exactly place it as a phobia. Those huge mosquitoes and haorvers got no respect but she really hates the morrowind bugs ever since they knocked her over and jumped her while she was pants down peeing drunk as hell in the sand :/ never forgave. Never forgot.

C1. Does your OC have a moral code? If not, how do they base their actions? If so, where does it come from, and how seriously do they take it?

She was raised in a healthy household that tought the basics, prety much “harming others needlessly, stealing, torture, rape, dessecrating the dead, being selfish and not doing right by others, etc etc all basic bad things” are her morals. Her morality is basically treat others how you want to be treated. And if they treat you badly, then have fun beating the shit out of them to show everyone else not to fuck with you. Its a pretty nordic morality in that way. Her morality is also since she was ‘blessed’ with being so large and strong, that she has to also look out for the little guy who cant protect themselves. So If someone treats them how valkya wouldn't want to be treated, then beat the shit out of the person harming them to show them the little guys got backup. Her parents raised her to be a hero and thats p much how she sees herself, which has its benefits and its fuckin problems.

E8. What’s one of your OC’s biggest regrets?

Fucking up Dem and Dariens relationship for sure dude :/ valkya always gonna be sulking over that one. She doesnt regret becoming a vestige, even though it would have made her so much happier not to be because it ended up saving so many people and the world. She regrets not spending more time with Naryu, regrets always having other life saving business she had to run off to, regrets not cherishing the time they had together. Regrets not telling Lyris how she feels, either. Regrets not being able to save as many people as she should have, regrets she wasnt stronger in coldharbor and didnt break out herself. But she tries not to think about it <3

G6. Do they have any favorite childhood memories?

When she was seven she once spent two months training to hold her breath underwater, because her cousin always held it longer and won the gold bet. She trained for hours almost drowning in the river until she could comfortably hold it for up to three minutes. During the next holiday when they all got together again the competitions were on and they both went under- her cousin won, holding their breath for four more minutes before they decided to come up. This was the first lesson she learned that shocked her world view- you always need to know your opponents capabilities. (after she lost 26 gold in the bets, her mother later had to inform her that her cousin was an argonian.)

#thank u beloved this was good to go thru while in class when i should have been paying attention gfhsdhds #valkya #jilly #nirn #thurwen #the ladies and the gilf #presented without evidence; valkya be stupit kinda :/#HOW DO U DO URS SO FAST... SUPER POWERS

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