#jim kirk angst

[ivorydragoness44]

Jim Kirk x Reader: Racing

Word Count: 857 Warnings/Notes: A little bit of angst, given that the Reader is a little stressed and overworked (implied). Summary: The Reader is still anxious from the previous red alert and seeks out Jim who wants to make sure that they are well and comfortable.

~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~

Making your way through the lit white hall, you let out a hefty sigh. The steady lights were a welcoming sight. The usual foot traffic helped to ease your racing mind. The sliding doors to the bridge were open and oddly inviting. As you passed through the threshold, you could see the activity lessening gradually. Multiple divisions still had a job to do. Their hands moved across the screens in front of them, checking and maintaining functions on and around the starship. It was as if you could still feel the tension ebbing. No one had noticed you walk through the entryway. If they did, it was only a glance.

From the only chair without a center console or screen in front of them, sat the one person of your focus. The command yellow shirt of their uniform made him stand out. Even if there were at least two others in the room bearing the same color. Captain Jim Kirk turned his head at the sound of your approaching steps. His vibrant blue eyes held a smile within them before one had the chance to appear on his face. “Lieutenant,” he nodded as you stepped over to the side of his chair. “What brings you to the bridge? Do you need anything?” A frown sank on your face as you looked at him. “My heart is racing, and it’s all your fault,” you said, your voice hardly above a whisper. Though you were minutely serious, you hoped he caught on to your intended humor. His brows rose, taking the corner of his lips with them. “Oh?” “Not like that!” You kept yourself from swatting a hand at his shoulder. “We were on a red alert.” “Right.” His words fell with his facial features at the memory. “But you’re all right…aren’t you?” You sighed lightly at his concern. It was genuine of course and you knew that. You just wished that the pair of you had a moment without the rest of the crew in earshot. “A little…off kilter, so to speak. Nothing broken or spun out into space on my end, so…doable, I suppose?” “Doable?” “Decent?” Jim gave a humorless laugh. “Who’s trying to reassure who?” Movement from the edges of your vision snapped you back to attention. “Everything is in working order and functioning correctly.” Faster than the Enterprise’s current speed, Jim’s eyebrows bundled together. He knew exactly which pointy eared, blue shirt wearing officer’s presence had created that reaction from you.

You stared at his thoughtful expression until you felt the need to dismiss yourself. But he spoke again before your legs could move. “Hold the lift for me?” He asked in a soft whisper.

With a nod, you spun on your heel and exited the bridge entirely. Carrying you through the hall, your legs moved briskly to your next destination. And as the door to the lift came into sight, you tuned into the nearing footsteps. Pressing the button, the lift door opened. Just as you took a step inside, Jim caught up to you. “Captain,” you gave a single nod when you turned in the empty compartment. “Lieutenant,” he replied, pressing another button to close the lift and determine a location in the ship. Closing your eyes, you took a long steadying breath. When you next opened them, he was standing in front of you. “What do you need?” He asked, eyes earnest and searching. Without an innate answer, you swooped into his embrace. You clung onto the first fabric layer of his shirt, and hoped that the tears would not break free. Not yet. Not in what you still considered a public space. “Hey, you’re alright,” he kissed the top of your head. “I got you. I got you and I won’t let go until you tell me to.” Burying your face deeper into his chest, you knew this was bound to happen. There had been two other red alerts in the past week. And it was not even the weekend yet. Not that it meant a day off for you. “Should I ask Doctor McCoy for some anti-stress meds or something?” You sniffled. “I will leave that up to you to decide. But I think there’s a shore leave coming up.” “There’s not,” you leaned back to look at him curiously, “believe me, I’ve double checked.” A smile peeked out as he gazed at you. “I think I can arrange something.” “Really?” “Yes, really,” he gave a quiet laugh at the hope sparkling in your eyes. The lift slowed to a stop and you retracted yourself from him. However, the sight outside was not where you needed to be. “Jim, this isn’t the deck I work on. This is the living quarters.” “I know,” he turned and gently ushered you out. “But my work—” “Can continue without you for the time being. I’ll sort things out for you. I give you my word.” “Thank you, Jim,” you smiled gratefully. “You’re welcome,” he said, reaching for the panel. “Who’s your favorite?” “Scotty,” you said, finally laughing when his jaw dropped at your answer, the lift door shutting completely.

~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~

Thank you for reading!

This came about because I felt like I give more attention to McCoy than Kirk (I totally do. Sorry Jim.) Also, Happy Star Trek day!!

[major-comet]

the biggest problem with tos’ episodic format is that the episode usually ends pretty quickly after the conflict resolves and then they never really talk about it again - no matter how intense or harrowing it was

which means that we don’t get to actually *see* the interpersonal fallout of bones being diagnosed with and cured from a previously-incurable terminal illness (that he didn’t even want to tell jim and spock he had), and then just four episodes later drugging them so that he can go be tortured (and likely die) instead of spock, and so jim doesn’t have to make the choice between them.

did they talk about it? beyond just a standard debrief and a “never fucking do that again bones i swear to god i mean it this time”? did they make it the captains’ quarters for the debrief, only for mccoy to be pulled into a crushing, trembling hug as soon as the door shut while jim tried to assure himself that bones was still here, was still breathing? spock hovering nearby - a hand gently coming to rest on his shoulder?

why didn’t mccoy want to tell them about the xenopolycythemia, anyways? to try and hold onto a few more normal-ish months before every time they looked at him their eyes would be filled with grief - mourning a man they hadn’t yet lost? the same reason he ran away; to spare them what he went through with his father?

only for him to immediately turn around and throw himself back to the wolves to (almost) die right in front of them anyways

i don’t really know how they handled it. whether they talked about it and attempted to soothe the hurt, or just resolutely tried to bottle it up.

but i do know this: spock eventually came back from gol because jim simply (though accidentally) called out for him in a moment of need. bones only came back because jim personally drafted him back into starfleet

[frogayyyy]

first kiss + hesitation + ‘not like this’

good omens s2e6 ‘every day’ // star trek: the wrath of khan

[willowandthesagaofgayyearning]

Ever thought about how Mccoy is the type of guy that both Spock and Jim know he loves them and both Spock and Jim outwardly say the words but Bones is never able to say it out loud and regrets it long after both the others are dead and has always regretted it

[captain-let-me-help]

[dadbodbensisko-moved]

fics where spock watches kirk fall in love with all sorts of species and genders and concludes that "no one ever wants me, it is logical to assume jim would be any different. there must be something in me that others see. i am no good. it is illogical to conclude otherwise" are my roman empire

[spongynova]

Jim, in front of his destroyed kitchen, crying because his friends made him a cake. From the delicious fic Cake is Love made Edible by donrex (which was so cute, and hilarious, with kitchen shenanigans)

Ps: I know it's supposed to be academy era in the fic, I forgot and the yellow was a reflex 😂 maybe I'll make a cadet red version later

[aerialworms-art]

O Captain, my Captain!

Happy -209th birthday to my favourite Jimbo <3

Please click for quality!

(ID under cut)

[ID: A bust portrait of Captain James T. Kirk from Star Trek: The Original Series. He is wearing his green v-neck off duty shirt and is tilting his head slightly to the left and up, smiling. He is haloed by a dark blue and purple swathe of space, dotted with stars.

The piece has been made to look like an old comic. The background looks like aged paper and the colours are rendered with tiny dots. The yellow and cyan layers of colour have been moved slightly so they don't match up with the lineart exactly.

The artist has signed it "aerialworms". /End ID]

[trek-tracks]

When you spend so much time together that you take on each other's mannerisms.

Tomorrow Is Yesterday / The Lost Years by J.M. Dillard

[veryace-ficrecs]

Jim Kirk Tarsus IV Fic Recs

This list will include all ratings and tags, so read at your own discretion! :)

Starfleet Academy for Gifted Youngsters by Ael - Not Rated

Starfleet Academy, home to carriers and mutants alike. Three years before Nero's attack on Vulcan, Jim Kirk and Leonard McCoy begin to forge what will one day be a legendary friendship. A series of snapshots of how it all began.

More than Innocence by CasualBanshee - Rated T

Throwaway one-shot. Jim Kirk survived Tarsus with more than just mental scars and how that could change the events in the second reboot film.

sound as stone by starknjarvis - Rated T

The three people who figured out that Jim was on Tarsus IV.

A Star To Light The Way (In which Jim never thought he’d live past 22, anyway) by AlyssiaInWonderland - Not Rated

A fic based around the following prompt excerpt on Tumblr: “So, captain,” she began, eyeing him mischievously. “Where would you be if you hadn’t joined up?” Jim shrugged nonchalantly, pursing his lips for a moment in thought. “Dead probably,” he finally replied, lightly but absolutely serious– oblivious to the shocked expressions of his crew around him. “Or halfway to it in a bar in Iowa somewhere.” Or, Nyota's journey from first meeting Kirk, to loving Jim, through three, increasingly angsty, incidents spanning Academy Era to post 2009 film.

Predetermined by BonesOfBirdWings - Rated T

James T. Kirk always goes to Tarsus IV - because George Kirk can die, Vulcan can be destroyed, and Jim can be resurrected, but Tarsus IV is immutable. OR - An exploration of the fanon fact that Jim always experiences the massacre on Tarsus IV, no matter the universe.

i think i'll keep you (like a secret) by hoosierbitch - Rated T

Bones came to Starfleet with a hell of a lot of baggage. Jim came empty handed.

Over Exposure by SadieYuki - Rated T

Jim would much rather deal with an army of assassins wielding pine nuts over having to weather the storm caused by this single video.

Five times Jim talked about Tarsus and one time Nyota heard him by jenny_wren - Rated M

Jim is not exactly over Tarsus but he's over it enough to be casual about it, so times when Jim nonchalantly horrified someone by being casual about Tarsus

Theory and Practice by Writer_at_the_Table - Rated T

He's sitting stiffly, back straight and face utterly blank. There is no laughter twinkling in his eyes. She feels wary at the sight of him, this cadet who only superficially resembles the one she thought she knew. Starfleet Academy professor Anita Cornerstone calls Cadet Jim Kirk to her office to discuss his response on an essay assignment. The conversation they have is not the one she was expecting.

The prison of your mind by EternalSheWolf - Rated T

The kid takes him to the ground, hard and fast, and the knife punches right through his throat. The man gurgles and blood sprays, and the kid’s head snaps up, blond hair flying everywhere, as he gives the blade a final, savage, twist and pulls it free. He’d know those eyes anywhere. It’s Jim Kirk.

Recognition by jademac2442 - Rated T

Based on the TOS episode Conscience of the King. Post Tarsus IV. Riley is assigned aboard the Enterprise. He recognizes Kirk.

Once More unto the Breach by AnEscapeFromReality - Rated T

James Kirk was the rudest student Professor Heleine ever taught. He stomped out of the middle of the professor's lecture like he wasn't a mere cadet. Well, the professor was done putting up with him. If he couldn't sit through an expert lecture, then he should give the lecture about Tarsus. That would teach him some respect.

Linguistic Ambiguities in Vulcan Ethical Codes by elumish - Rated T

The thing people always forget is that it was a Vulcan ship that reached Tarsus IV first.

A trail of crushed laurels by Kandelaar - Rated T

Jimmy Kirk isn’t an old soul stuck in a young body, his teachers whisper, he’s sharp, jagged edges and a too-bright mind wrapped in skin and bones all glued together with his stepdaddy’s fists.

[enterprise-me-capn]

took my cat!kirk sketches and gave them some color :3

a little excerpt from my notes on the fic i'm writing:

A relaxed, lounging Kirk outstretches one paw, swiping the air gently. Spock thinks about how remarkably similar this gesture is compared to when Kirk is human. The way he would wordlessly ask Spock to cuddle him by reaching an arm towards him from the bed, moving it in one random motion or another. Spock obliges Kirk, pulling the cat up against him and gently scratching behind his ears. Kirk purrs in contentment.

[blueberrybone]

finally angst for the boys!!

[ladyylavenderrr]

Currently writing a Tarsus IV fic what do you guys think of my concept?

Jim had a tendency to freeze in a dangerous situation on Tarsus and that freeze-response eventually got someone killed.

Years later, some situation happens on the enterprise and Jim freezes again (a response he thought he’d forced out of him). It’s nothing as bad as Tarsus and everyone is fine but the guilt of freezing and getting someone he loved killed is back and now he’s spiraling. He pushes his friends away in an attempt to “protect” them in case it happens again (and a part of Jim is always sure it will happen again).

[captain-let-me-help]

[edwardallenpoe]

WHY AREN'T THERE MORE CRYING SPOCK FANFICS OUT THERE

WHAT HAPPENED TO SPOCK BEING THE CRYBABY OF THE SERIES??? THIS BITCH CRIED THE MOST OUT OF ANY CHARACTER IN TOS

Y'ALL ARE SLEEPING ON THIS BOY SHEDDING TEARS AND IT'S SICKENING

[agios-rio]

i am so, so normal about kirk's father dying right in front of him. you wouldn't believe how little impact this has on my sanity. the fact that it was kodos who killed him does not make me want to rip my hair out at all

(source)