it's either quite a master plan
or just chemicals that help us understand
that when our hearts stop ticking
this is the end
- “St. Peter’s Cathedral,” Death Cab for Cutie
once one has been seized up
without a part left over,
not a toe, not a finger, and used,
used utterly, in the sun's conflagration, the stains
that lengthen from ancient cathedrals
what is the remedy?
- “Mystic,” Sylvia Plath
day 1 of @jimmynovakweek: vessel. jimmy as a cathedral, a vessel for something holy
There's a story, an old family story, about Jimmy's great grandmother, who went missing for about a year, walked off and left his infant great aunt behind, and came back, not quite the same, always distant.
He never believed the story about the angels, everyone accredited it to the ramblings of an old woman who had gotten sick while she was missing, though he never fully wrote it off, either. That was one family story he never told Amelia, kept close to his heart, until, of course he had Claire.
He passed down the story to his daughter, always framing it as some old family story, some secret, exaggerated but with truth in it: the Novaks were watched by angels. Even though, deep down, as he grew older, he knew something else about the story was true. There was something missing. There was something inside his soul that needed to be filled, and he didn't understand until that night, when Castiel visited him for the first time. When he understood what he was, what the emptiness in his soul was.
Later on, he'd say that being possessed was like being chained to a comet. And he wasn't lying. But he forgot to mention the other factor: that it felt like an emptiness that could never be filled was gone. And he hated himself that he cared more about that emptiness than he did his own daughter.
A tiny ficlet for @jimmynovakweek because I discovered I had feelings, FEELINGS even. Yes, I know this is contradicted by canon, but yah. Feelings.
Castiel knows Jimmy's heaven - one particular church picnic for the fourth of July, the year that Claire turned five. It's a beautiful day, and Jimmy's family is surrounded by friends in faith. Amelia is is a little quiet - their second child is on its way, please God, after a run of miscarriages, and she's nauseous, but she's so happy. They're both so happy. Jimmy and Claire win the parent/child three-legged race together, and they all sit together after under the dappled, breezy shade of a tree.
It's a perfect day, before Amelia loses that baby and any chance of more. Before Jimmy says yes to Castiel, the first time and the second. It's a perfect day.
something something taking the eucharist something something body of christ something about bodies... something about having holiness inside of you. you have 99 braincells to my one but you do have me thinking
4.20 the rapture // receiving the eucharist
celebration of Mass, communion wikihow, positive words dictionary @jimmynovakweek
Lord, I am not worthy
that you should enter under my roof,
but only say the word
and my soul shall be healed