#joanna hawke

[bettyweir]

[opheliapenning]

Wedding outfits in film and television

Love Actually, Joanna Johnston

One Red Nose Day and a Wedding, Ryan Lo 

About Time, Verity Hawkes

Outlander, Trisha Biggar

Mamma Mia, Ann Roth

(please consider checking out my poetry under #opheliapenning)

[letterboxd-loggd]

The Woman in the Fifth (La femme du Vème) (2011) Paweł Pawlikowski

July 1st 2023

[notesfromachair]

Master Class

The reality of these last few pandemic years and their political, economic and overall societal impact has been soul crushing.  Up is down, and down seems to have no real bottom. So what do you do when things turn sour? I don’t know about you but I turn to art.  More specifically – music, movies, television, books, painting, architecture and pretty much anything else that can existentially…

[calypsolemon]

I'm not a fish, I am a stone

A playlist about two journeys back

LISTEN ON YOUTUBE | LISTEN ON NEOCITIES

1.Titanic Risen - Weyes Blood 2.Sea Birds - Burning Hearts 3.Geysir Nationale - Gregory & The Hawk 4.Jellyfish - Vashti Bunyan 5.Divers - Joanna Newsom 6.Mearcstapa - Fleet Foxes 7.Frebeight - Gregory & The Hawk 8.Dark Water - Astana 9.When We Were That What Wept For The Sea - Colin Stetson 10.Close to None - Future Islands

[v-arbellanaris]

in light of this post i wanna talk abt my ocs names!!!! obv some of u were already here for the changes but!!!! the logic behind my da oc names hehehehe

WARDENS

Evadne (/iːˈvædniː/; Ancient Greek: Εὐάδνη): From Greek Εὐάδνη (Euadne), from εὖ (eu) meaning "good" possibly combined with Cretan Greek ἀδνός (adnos) meaning "holy".

Explanation: Felt like an unwell name for a trans Circle mage to choose for herself.

Kalyani (/kæljɑːni/; Sanskrit: कल्याणी): Means "beautiful, lovely, auspicious" in Sanskrit.

Explanation: Default Tabris is Kallian, which seems like a good Fereldan name, but I really wanted to draw on themes around belonging and identity with Kal, and so giving her a name that could be confused for Kallian was something I really wanted to do - to reflect the Anglicisation that often happens to our mothertongue names. Also, desi elves ftw.

Faris (/ˈfaː.ris/; Arabic; فارس): Means "horseman, knight" in Arabic.

Explanation: One of my favourite names.

Aedan (/ˈeɪ.dən/; Old Irish: Áedán): From the Old Irish name Áedán meaning "little fire", a diminutive of Áed.

Explanation: Literally just the default m!Cousland name because I could not be bothered.

CHAMPIONS

Lysander (/laɪˈsændə/): Latinized form of the Greek name Λύσανδρος (Lysandros), and it means "liberator".

Explanation: Pro-mage Hawke. Self explanatory (:

Miranda (/mɪ.ˈɹæn.də/): Derived from Latin mirandus meaning "admirable, wonderful". The name was created by Shakespeare for the heroine in his play The Tempest (1611), in which Miranda and her father Prospero are stranded on an island.

Explanation: I do just like the name but hmmm potentially some thoughts around mage!Hawke and Malcolm dynamics...?

Damon (/ˈdeɪ.mən/; Ancient Greek: Δάμων): Derived from Greek δαμάζω (damazo) meaning "to tame". According to Greek legend, Damon and Pythias were friends who lived on Syracuse in the 4th century BC. When Pythias was sentenced to death, he was allowed to temporarily go free on the condition that Damon take his place in prison. Pythias returned just before Damon was to be executed in his place, and the king was so impressed with their loyalty to one another that he pardoned Pythias.

Explanation: Thinking about Handers so no one talk to me rn.

Amalia (/a.ˈmaː.li̯a/; Greek; Αμαλία): Short form of Germanic names beginning with the element amal. This element means "unceasing, vigorous, brave", or it can refer to the Gothic dynasty of the Amali (derived from the same root).

Explanation: Chose this one because I wanted a warrior!Hawke, who was only ever really a warrior because of necessity. Of all my Hawkes, Mal is actually the one who adapts to being a noble well (Leandra's daughter, through and through), and so I wanted to explore different kinds of strength.

Alexis (/ə.ˈlɛk.sɪs/; Ancient Greek; Ἄλεξις): From the Greek name Ἄλεξις (Alexis) meaning "helper" or "defender", derived from Greek ἀλέξω (alexo) meaning "to defend, to help".

Explanation: Felt like a super fitting name for a red warrior Hawke tbh!!!!

Joan (/ˈd͡ʒoʊn/): Medieval English form of Johanne, an Old French form of Iohanna (Joanna). A famous bearer was Joan of Arc, a patron saint of France (where she is known as Jeanne d'Arc). She was a 15th-century peasant girl who, after claiming she heard messages from God, was given leadership of the French army. She defeated the English in the battle of Orléans but was eventually captured and burned at the stake.

Explanation: Joan is my pro-Templar Sebmancing playthrough. Of course I named her after Joan of Arc.

Maimunah (/maj.ˈmuː.nah/; Arabic: ميمونة): Means "auspicious, blessed, favourable" in Arabic, in the Malay and Indonesian form.

Explanation: Thought about Malcolm naming his tiny mage daughter and wanted to cry. Also, I've always really loved this name - I knew an adult with this name as a kid, and she was really just... I admired her so much. So why not!!!

INQUISITOR

Isra (/ʔis.ˈraːʔ/; Arabic: إسراء): Means "nocturnal journey", derived from Arabic سرى (sara) meaning "to travel at night" - refers to the Prophet's journey from Makkah to Jerusalem (Isra' and Mi'raj)

Explanation: If you know the context behind this name, then the link to the Herald is quite obvious.

Iskandar (/ʔis.ˈkan.dar/; Arabic: إسكندر): Arabic, Malay and Indonesian form of the name Alexander, which is the Latinized form of the Greek name Ἀλέξανδρος (Alexandros), which meant "defending men" from Greek ἀλέξω (alexo) meaning "to defend, help" and ἀνήρ (aner) meaning "man" (genitive ἀνδρός).

Explanation: I've talked a bit abt it before over here!

Mahanon

Explanation: Default m!Lavellan name.

Ellana

Explanation: Default f!Lavellan name.

Marya (/ˈma.rʲjə/)

Explanation: Actually, I wanted to do Arya but. Um. I accidentally. Anyway.

[punisheddonjuan]

A few brief notes on some films I watched recently-ish (i.e. within the last few months)

Strange Way of Life - A short feature, but I'm kind of stunned that I've not seen anyone talk about it. I mean it's directed by Pedro Almodóvar and has Ethan Hawke and Pedro Pascal playing gay cowboys. You people should be making .gif sets. It's rather slight and a little out there, but it's pretty good, I enjoyed it.

Poor Things - Mixed thoughts on this one, I like Yorgos Lanthimos but I think this might be one of his weaker films. It drags somewhat in the middle third despite strong performances all around. It has a fantastic visual flair, and a stellar soundtrack, but there is something off about it that is keeping me from declaring it a favourite. It's not the "pedophile apologia" discourse, which I disagree with even if I can see where it's coming from. I might have to stew with it a bit, I do think it was also meant to be deliberately uncomfortable in places. Still, it's a disappointment for me after The Favourite, which was a masterpiece.

Blood Sucking Freaks - Why did I watch this?

O-Bi, O-Ba: Koniec cywilizacji - There is something about the temperament and cultural heritage of Poles that makes them the best purveyors of post-apocalyptic fiction and media. Soviet-era Polish sci-fi always gets high marks from me though (see also: On the Silver Globe, The Hourglass Sanitarium)

Killers of the Flower Moon - Scorsese's best film. Left me filled with a deep sorrow and rage; It's devastating and beautiful. The radio show ending is one of the most cutting and brilliant twists ever committed to celluloid.

The Souvenir: Part II - Altogether weaker than the first part, I still enjoyed it. You should really watch them both though, Joanna Hogg is great.

The Holdovers - One of the most perfect films ever made. It had me openly weeping. Delightful.

Dinner in America - If this had come out at some point in the '90s it would be considered a punk cult classic along the lines of SLC Punk or Ghost World. Loved it.

Gone Girl - Okay I finally watched this ten years after the fact with vague memories of the online discourse of 2014 on sites like Jezebel that proclaimed Rosamund Pike's character a girlboss and declared that she was entirely justified in everything and all I have to say is, what the fuck. Jesus. It's really good though.

No Tears for the Damned - I need to stop watching weird grindhouse shit that Vinegar Syndrome decides to put out, because whoof buddy. A few interesting shots of Vegas in the '60s before it got all family friendly.

The Zone of Interest - It took me a good five minutes to clue into the the fact that all of the "pops" in the background were gunshots as they executed people. That's when my stomach started to churn. The only good Holocaust film ever made (actually let me amend that, the only good fictional Holocaust film ever made as Lanzmann's Shoah exists), as it's the only one to really grapple with the irredeemable reality of its subject matter.

[declantlynxh]

declan lynch web weaving, 3/?

maggie stiefvater, call down the hawk; clementine von radics, james; marina tsvetaeva, poem of the end; tumblr user julykings; maggie stiefvater, call down the hawk; liza sivakova; maggie stiefvater, call down the hawk; mary oliver, dogtooth; joanna walsh, vertigo; david mitchell, slade house

[aurorawest]

Reading update

Arthur and Teddy Are Coming Out by Ryan Love - 3/5 stars

The Fate of Stars by SD Simper - DNF at pg 32

A Gathering Storm by Joanna Chambers - 4.75/5 stars

I kept getting the Madame Leota room from Haunted Mansion stuck in my head as I was reading this (not a bad thing!). This book has a surprisingly low rating on the Storygraph, and I'm not going to torture myself by looking at the reviews, but I'm assuming it's because of the power discrepancy between Ward and Nick. Clearly it didn't bother me as I really enjoyed the book!

Dionysus in Wisconsin by EH Lupton - 4.75/5 stars

At some point I might get tired of Mid-Century Modern romances, but not this day. This book was super fun, with an interesting world and lovely characters. And a Midwest setting! I've spent a lot of time in Madison, Wisconsin, where this book is set, so I got the added bonus of knowing most of the places pretty well. There was even a shoutout to an obscure piece of Madison history, the Lost City in the Arb. I have to get the second book in the series now!boy

Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan - 3.25/5 stars

I gave this book an extra quarter of a star for being written in 2003, when it would have been genuinely pretty groundbreaking. Reading it in 2024, it's very twee and pretty cringey (the queer utopia town would have been a magical fantasy in 2003, not so much now in a lot of places). When Levithan credited Francesca Lia Block's Weetzie Bat books in the acknowledgements, I though, ah. No wonder. Hated those as a teen.

All that said, there's some genuinely lovely writing in this book, and it has its place in the queer canon.

The Greywacke by Nick Davidson - 5/5 stars

Super interesting nonfiction about the discipline of geology and how the early geologic epochs were figured out. Also gave me an idea for a historical romance about gay Victorian geologists.

Home Grown Talent by Joanna Chambers & Sally Malcolm - 5/5 stars

I think I loved this one more than the first in the series. The social media scandal was perfect, in that it was exactly as absurd as every social media scandal is, and thus hilarious, but also chilling in how even something so stupid can ruin people's lives.

The First Bright Thing by JR Dawson - DNF at pg 1

Prince of the Sorrows by Kellen Graves - DNF at pg 30

Reuben's Hot & Cold by M Arbon - 3/5 stars

Slight Foxing Around the Edges by Melissa Polk - DNF at pg 132

Restored by Joanna Chambers - 5/5 stars

Balefire by Jordan L Hawk - 4.75/5 stars

A Rulebook for Restless Rogues by Jess Everlee - 4/5 stars

The Mars House by Natasha Pulley - 5/5 stars

See my brain vomit about this book here. If you've been around here for any amount of time you know all Natasha Pulley's books make me feral. Absolutely no exception here. I cannot believe her first UK publisher dropped her over this book. Idiots! It's wonderful just like everything she's ever written.

In the Case of Heartbreak by Courtney Kaye - DNF at pg 181

The Piano Tuner by Daniel Mason - DNF at pg 21

The Charm Offensive by Alison Cochrun - 5/5 stars (reread)

Just as good as the first time I read it!

Exhalation by Ted Chiang - 4.5/5 stars

The Foxhole Court by Nora Sakavic - DNF at pg 84

Crisped + Sere by TJ Klune - 4.75/5 stars

It actually kind of makes me mad that this series isn't Klune's most famous work, because it's real good. At this point it seems kind of unlikely he's going to continue it, but man, I'd love another book.

These Silent Stars by Chani Lynn Feener - DNF at pg 68

Trailer Park Trickster by David R Slayton - 5/5 stars

See below.

Deadbeat Druid by David R Slayton - David R Slayton - 5/5 star

I LOVE this series. Love love love love. Absolute must read. If you're a fan of KD Edwards's The Tarot Sequence, this series is right up your alley. It seems like there will be more after this initial trilogy, and there's also a spinoff book coming soon which I'm super excited for. Read them!!

[gulnarsultan]

Yandere platonic House Lannister and Modern Reader, before Robert’s rebellion.

Aerys II Targaryen, The Mad King has Kings Guards, who are protecting him.

Rhaella Targaryen has Modern Reader as her Lady-in-waiting, also Modern Reader is Queens guard.

Soooo, what does it mean? Weeeeell, Aerys is afraid of Modern Reader and the Kings guards respect Modern Reader. Which means Rhaella is safe from her husband. Not only Modern Reader protects the Queen, but also supports her, when Rhaella has miscarriages.

Aerys II: The gods won’t allow a bastard to sit on Iron Throne.

Modern Reader punches Aerys in the back of his head: YOUR WIFE LOST A CHILD, DUMBASS! STOP TALKING NONSENSE AND SUPPORT YOUR WIFE, YOU STUPID-HEAD!😡🤬 *gives another punch*

Mad King: Ow 😣. All right, I will. Stop hurting me!😖😫

Bonus:

When Aerys II spends time with Rhaella, he notices Modern Reader’s stare.

Modern Reader gives him a threat stare: Don’t you dare to hurt the Queen.😡👿

Aerys II scared 😱

Rhaella Targaryen: Y/N?

Modern Reader back to quiet and cute kitty: Yes, my Queen?😶😺

Rhaella Targaryen: I appreciate your concern for me. But there’s no need to worry about me.☺️

Modern Reader: All right, your Majesty 😸

Aerys II Targaryen:😮‍💨

Modern Reader: I’m watching you, Aerys. Understand?👿

Aerys II Targaryen scared: Yes, I understand.😰

Modern Reader knows about the Queen’s abuse from Aerys. That’s why, Modern Reader is always by the Queen’s side, so Aerys won’t hurt her. Aerys II tried to get close to lady Joanna Lannister and Modern Reader scared (threatened) him. Aerys II abuses his wife, Rhaella Targaryen and Modern Reader shoved him against the wall and smacked his head. “You should be thanking the gods for having a forgiving wife and me for having patience and hope for you to get better.”- Modern Reader towards Aerys II.

Rhaella Targaryen is like a mother figure to Modern Reader. The scenario I wrote above and Reader’s words are the main reason why Aerys is so scared of Modern Reader.

While many are afraid of Tywin Lannister or The Mad King, in reality you shouldn’t make Modern Reader angry. Once you do, Modern Reader will turn from being nice friendly cat to scary dangerous cold demon cat.

You are so right. The reader watches Aerys like a hawk. So Rhaella is safe. The reader supports her in all of Rhaella's miscarriages and losses. Maybe the reader will find a solution to these miscarriages.

Reader : Aerys on my eyes. Do not forget it. 😈

When Reader gets angry, she literally transforms from a sweet house cat into a wild lion. That's why you have to act wisely.

[dvar-trek]

Romance Roundup: Part 2

the full list:

loved | liked | okay | didn't like

 ●Captive Prince Trilogy by C.S. Pacat     ○Captive Prince     ○Prince's Gambit     ○Kings Rising     ○The Summer Palace  ●Whyborne and Griffin Series by Jordan L. Hawk (there are like 11 of these in total, but this is as far as i got. this is not the only reason i stopped, but this series does contain a sex scene wherein sliding back the foreskin is described as "peeling". and i just. i simply don't think you should peel a dick. i don't think it's good for them.)     ○Widdershins     ○Eidolon     ○Threshold  ●Sweet Disorder by Rose Lerner  ●Sailor's Delight by Rose Lerner  ●Something Human by A.J. Demas  ●Doomsday Books by KJ Charles     ○The Secret Lives of Country Gentlemen     ○A Nobleman's Guide to Seducing a Scoundrel

 ●Old Bridge Inn Series by Annick Trent     ○Beck and Call     ○The Oak and the Ash  ●10 Things That Never Happened by Alexis Hall  ●Boyfriend Material by Alexis Hall (okay, listen, the first chapter hits you with a high concentration of cringe, and is therefore difficult to read. but the cringe concentration lessens considerably as you go along, and this ended up being one of my faves.)  ●Husband Material by Alexis Hall (again with the cringe, but it's not a strong enough book otherwise to make up for it, imo. the first book stands up great without having to bother with the sequel)  ●The Secret Diaries of Miss Miranda Cheever by Julia Quinn  ●Bridgerton Series by Julia Quinn     ○The Duke and I     ○The Viscount Who Loved Me (there are six more of these, but i simply couldn't go on)

 ●The Mystery of Nevermore by C.S. Poe  ●Turner Series by Cat Sebastian     ○The Soldier's Scoundrel     ○The Lawrence Browne Affair     ○The Ruin of a Rake     ○A Little Light Mischief  ●The Last Binding by Freya Marske (these are kissing books, but i didn't like the actual romances so much as the. like. plot.)     ○A Marvellous Light     ○A Restless Truth     ○A Power Unbound  ●Lucky Lovers of London by Jess Everlee     ○The Gentleman's Book of Vices     ○A Rulebook for Restless Rogues  ●A Taste of Gold and Iron by Alexandra Rowland  ●His Heart's Obsession by Alex Beecroft  ●Seducing the Sedgwicks by Cat Sebastian     ○It Takes Two to Tumble     ○A Gentleman Never Keeps Score     ○Two Rogues Make a Right  ●Hard Sell by Hudson Lin  ●Green Men World by KJ Charles     ○The Secret Casebook of Simon Feximal (can be read as a stand-alone. is also not really a romance, per-se, although they sure do fuck. more like if shelock holmes had been a ghost-hunter, and watson had told us about all the sex they were having)     ○Spectred Isle (n.b. this was meant to be the first book in a series that is on hold indefinitely, though i enjoyed it plenty on its own)

 ●Winterbourne series by Joanna Chambers (there's one more novella in this series but none of my libraries has it)     ○Introducing Mr. Winterbourne     ○Mr. Winterbourne's Christmas     ○The First Snow of Winter  ●The Vicar and the Rake by Annabelle Greene  ●The Gentleman and the Spy by Neil S. Plakcy  ●The Lord and the Frenchman by Neil S. Plakcy  ●Unfit to Print by KJ Charles  ●Brook Street by Ava March  ●Enlightenment Trilogy by Joanna Chambers     ○Provoked     ○Beguiled     ○Enlightened     ○The Bequest (epilogue novella)  ●Unnatural by Joanna Chambers  ●Restored by Joanna Chambers  ●Society of Gentlemen by KJ Charles (another one where the whole series is worthwhile for the story, even if i didn't love all of the romances. the characters are endearing and there's an excellent little series epilogue availble on the author's website)     ○The Ruin of Gabriel Ashleigh (prequel novella)     ○A Fashionable Indulgence     ○A Seditious Affair     ○A Gentleman's Position

 ●Something Fabulous by Alexis Hall  ●Hither, Page by Cat Sebastian  ●The Missing Page by Cat Sebastian  ●Sins of the Cities by KJ Charles     ○An Unseen Attraction     ○An Unnatural Vice     ○An Unsuitable Heir  ●Red, White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston  ●Bright Falls series by Ashley Herring Blake (I'm still on a waitlist for the third book, which just came out)     ○Delilah Green Doesn't Care     ○Astrid Parker Doesn't Fail  ●Fake it 'til You Make Out by Isla Olsen  ●The Lady's Guide to Celestial Mechanics by Olivia Waite  ●The Care and Feeding of Waspish Widows by Olivia Waite  ●The Lilywhite Boys by KJ Charles     ○The Rat-Catcher's Daugher (prequel novella)     ○Any Old Diamonds     ○Guilded Cage     ○Masters in this Hall (sequel novella)  ●England World by KJ Charles     ○Proper English     ○Think of England  ●Will Darling Adventures by KJ Charles     ○Slippery Creatures     ○The Sugared Game     ○Subtle Blood

 ●The Lady's Secret by Joanna Chambers  ●A Charm of Magpies series by KJ Charles     ○The Magpie Lord     ○A Case of Possession     ○Flight of Magpies  ●Other KJ Charles book linked to the Magpies world     ○A Queer Trade     ○Rag and Bone     ○Jackdaw  ●Wanted, A Gentleman by KJ Charles  ●The Gentle Art of Fortune Hunting by KJ Charles  ●A Thief in the Night by KJ Charles (novella linked to Gentle Art)  ●Band Sinister by KJ Charles  ●Unmasked by the Marquess by Cat Sebastian  ●A Duke in Disguise by Cat Sebastian

romance roundup part 1

[lovelyladyabsinthewrites]

From the Ashes Pt. 3.5

Pairing(s): Tywin Lannister x Joanna Lannister, Aerys Targaryen x Rhaella Targaryen, one sided Aerys Targaryen x Joanna Lannister

Warnings: just aerys being a fucking creep, Rhaella POV

Words: 1699

Summary: After first meeting her future daughter-in-law, Rhaella thinks back to her dear friend Joanna.

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5  Part 6  Part 7  Part 8  Part 9  Part 10  Part 11  Part 12  Part 13  Part 14  Part 15  Part 16  Part 17  Part 18  Part 19  Part 20  Part 21  Part 22 Part 23  Part 24  Part 25  Part 26 Part 27   Part 28  Part 29  Part 30  Part 31  Part 32  Part 33  Part 34

Book Two of Heir of Ash and Fire

Book One of Heir of Ash and Fire

She had always considered Rhaella her dear friend, even if she had been the queen’s lady-in-waiting, Joanna and Rhaella had been close. Close like sisters. When Rhaella was angered, so was Joanna. When the king had gone too far and hurt his already fragile queen, Joanna was wounded as well to see Rhaella in such a state.

So to be let go of being one of her personal ladies, Joanna was quite shocked. She had just told Rhaella of her engagement to her cousin Tywin, a man whom she had truly fallen in love with. Cold and hard to laugh Tywin. His actions spoke more than any of his words could. Joanna knew that Tywin reciprocated these feelings of adoration, he would speak softly of his love for her and it made her heart soar even more.

Rhaella should have been happy for the young, blushing, bride. Selna Dayne was surely excited for her companion. Her glittering violet eyes showed her genuine joy for Joanna.

The thin Queen of Westeros, however, appeared somewhat apprehensive at this news and gently told Joanna that she was letting her go as a lady-in-waiting.

“I. . . I don’t understand.” She looks to Selna for guidance, that this must be a mistake, but the Dornish beauty was equally confused. “Have I done something to displease you, Your Grace?”

“Of course not.” Rhaella holds Joanna’s hand reassuringly. Her face was so thin from her previous miscarriage that it stretched over her features painfully. Watery lavender eyes glance at the four year old Rhaegar who was playing with wooden figures on the floor. Joanna and Selna dotted on the young boy as he was breathtakingly beautiful and a joy to be around. “I just think it would be best if you were no longer in my service.”

“Forgive me, but you have to give her a reason.” Selna insists. Both of the young girls watched Rhaella like a hawk, eyes trying to delve deeper into her.

How could she say it out loud? To say it out loud would ruin sweet Joanna. A truth that was known to Tywin already. He had not said anything to his fiancee for a reason. But here they were, girls insisting upon an answer. They would accept nothing less.

Pursing her lips, Rhaella drops Joanna’s hand. “I fear for you if you were to stay here.”

Pale blonde brows furrow.

The thought of Aerys using the girl as he did her. . . That beautiful milky skin of her’s being tarnished by bruises and cuts was too much for Rhaella to even think about. She had to do what was best for Joanna. There had already been rumors of Aerys taken the maidenhead of Joanna during Jaehaerys’ coronation. That was bad enough. What if Aerys had it in his mind to go through with the rumor before Joanna was to marry Tywin? It scared Rhaella. She wanted Tywin to take her far away from King’s Landing.

“Aerys desires you in his bed. He’s wanted you for quite some time. I think. . . I think that the news of you wedding Tywin would be enough to make him go through with the deed. They haven’t gotten along for quite some time now.” Finally breaking, she told the girls of the secret she had tried to protect them from.

Selna’s face grew pale at the thought of Aerys, that wicked man, having his way with Joanna. Joanna did her best to conceal her trembling. Both had seen what going to bed with Aerys would do to a woman. The evidence was all over Rhaella.

It pained Joanna to leave her lady, but everyone in that room knew it for the best. With Aerys being the way that he was, Joanna wasn’t safe in King’s Landing.

So fragile Joanna looked at that moment, fragile and scared making Rhaella regret her decision for a moment before the blonde closes her eyes and nods.

“Very well. I will leave King’s Landing immediately.” Concern flickered in her green eyes when she gazes at Selna. Dark haired Selna with large eyes like gemstones. How on earth she possessed such beautiful lavender eyes without being related to a Targaryen, no one would know. The light contrast of her eyes to her tanned skin made her so much more alluring.

Her concern was easily read by Rhaella who had been concerned about the Dornish lady as well.

Selna suddenly grew rigid. Surely Aerys wouldn’t dare touch her for risk of disrupting his alliance with Dorne. The House of Dayne was a loyal and favorite house of the Martells who ruled the desert land. With their family sword Dawn, many members had brought fame in battle.

“She will be fine. Aerys has no interest in women who have already had children.” Rhaella assured her. Selna released a sigh of relief, thanking the gods for her three children. Reassured, Joanna finally manages to smile. She could leave without any regrets.

Standing up, she bows to her queen. “My lady, it has been the utmost honor to serve you.”

“It was my honor to have you in my service. Now go and live a happy life.”

* Rhaella had wept rivers when the news of Joanna’s death reached her. One of Rhaella’s biggest regrets was not keeping in touch with her. She wanted Joanna to continue on with her happy life and forget about court. Intending for Joanna to never come back to King’s Landing, Rhaella had made herself distant. With Aerys descending into madness, there was no predicting what he would do to her. All to protect Joanna and her happiness.

She felt that sorrow again when she first met (y/n) Lannister, a sweet enough looking child who lacked her mother’s beauty. The smile is what brought the image of Joanna to Rhaella. A smile that warmed Rhaella to the bone.

“It’s my honor to meet you, Your Grace.” The little girl was quiet in the way she spoke, bending slightly in the knees for a curtsy. This was Rhaegar’s future wife.

“You look just like your mother.”

(y/n) stumbles forward a little bit, gawking at the queen. Her pale green eyes are wide in disbelief before a shy blush makes her gaze shoot down to the ground. “Oh. . . People say that about my sister. Not. . . me. . .”

Rhaella smiles at the shy girl. The poor girl must have never been complimented before. From what Rhaegar had told her about (y/n), she wasn’t the favorite among the Lannister siblings. Said that many favored Cersei more due to the fact that she had Joanna’s loveliness and grace. Many were quick to forget that Joanna’s pretty face wasn’t what made Joanna a dear to be around. Her smile and laugh was what truly made her soul shine.

“Trust me young one, I knew your mother very well. You look so much like her when you smile.” She winks at her, making (y/n)’s smile return. In truth, Rhaella had been worried when Rhaegar gave her the news that he had chosen a bride. And his bride was still but a child. That’s why she would live on Dragonstone until the age she was deemed ready to say her vows that tied her forever to Rhaegar.

This little girl would someday be the queen of all of the Seven Kingdoms. Joanna’s daughter. It seemed like there was no escaping the Targaryens. The female lions just appeared to be drawn back to the Red Keep and all the dangers it held within. From her meek mannerisms, Rhaella thought sadly to herself that this girl would not survive long in the game of thrones. Even the strongest of players were known to be brought down eventually.

“They look very similar to Jaehaerys and his little queen Alysanne.” Varys mentioned one day as he had traveled with Rhaella during one visit to meet the youngest Lannister daughter. Rhaegar and (y/n) were out in the courtyard, enjoying the small amount of sun that streamed in while Rhaella was sitting down in the patio with the Master of Whispers. Rhaella didn’t mind one bit when Varys asked if he could come along for this visit. He was a wonderful companion and Rhaella enjoyed the interesting conversations they shared. “Don’t you think so, Your Grace?”

Rhaella watches them as Rhaegar instructs (y/n) where to place her fingers on the harp. Patient as ever, Rhaegar speaks to her in a soft and gentle tone. One of her braids was still undone from where Viserys had pulled at it incessantly. Thalina, (y/n)’s personal hand-maid, had her back pressed up against a column; watching her charge with a pleasant smile.

Jaehaerys and his little queen Alysanne. . . They went behind their mother to wed one another because they were truly in love. Spending weeks there in Dragonstone, the two had found sanctuary where they could love one another freely and grow. Eventually though, they both found themselves returning to King’s Landing. After all, Jaehaerys was king and couldn’t stay long from his throne. The Queen Mother always saw such a dramatic change in Rhaegar when he was around (y/n). He smiled and laughed more. Back in the Red Keep, all joy was gone from her son as he was forced to watch his father fumble with such a large kingdom. (y/n) made him happy, made him warm.

“Yes, very much so. . .” She whispers in reply. Rhaegar’s Little Queen. The Mouse of Casterly Rock. She had done quite a bit of growing herself too. Since arriving to the island, (y/n) had learned to be more confident and grow a backbone. Of course she was still learning, undoing all the things that her family had pressed upon her. She spoke with the queen mother now without stuttering or looking shy as she had with their first meeting.

Plucking from (y/n)’s harp filled the courtyard with whimsy that Rhaella missed the brief exchange between Thalina and the eunuch.

(y/n) was becoming her own person. Perhaps. . . once she was older she would indeed have what it took to become a major player and win at the

[holyarchistud]

2023 REVIEW + 2024 TBR

From last TBR I finished:

Lock Every Door, Riley Sager

Dune, Frank Herbert

The Magus, John Fowles

Mock, Marek Krajewski

Mock. Ludzkie zoo, Marek Krajewski

The Divine Comedy, Dante Alighieri

To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee

Police, Jo Nesbo

Also I finished some not from the list: Rzeczy którch nie wyrzuciłem, Marcin Wicha Little Women, Louisa May Alcott Atomic Habits, James Clear Mrs March, Virginia Feito Krótko i szczęsliwie, Agata Romaniuk The 5am Club, Robin Sharma One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Ken Kesey Piercing, Ryu Murakami Homesick for Another World, Ottessa Moshfegh Miss Kim Knows, Cho Nam-joo La Place, Annie Ernaux The Housemaid, Freida McFadden Lean Your Loneliness Slowly Against Mine, Klara Hveberg Brief Answers to the Big Questions, Stephen Hawking The Housekeeper and the Professor, Yoko Ogawa Demian, Herman Hesse Siostry, Monika Białkowska The Dragonet Prophecy - Wings of Fire, Tui. T. Sutherland Kwiaty w pudełku, Karolina Bednarz

Probably list of books is not great idea for me, but despite it I plan the 2024 TBR ! 24 books for 2024 !

21 lessons for the 21st Century, Yuval Noah Harari

Think like a Monk, Jay Shetty

The Four Steps to the Epiphany, Steve Blank

The E-Myth Revisited, Michael E. Gerber

The $100 Startup, Chris Guillebeau

Creativity, Inc., Ed Catmull, Amy Wallace

The Creative Act, Rick Rubin

Your Next Five Moves, Patrick Bet-David

Nad życie, Wojciech Harpula, Maria Mazurek

What happened to you?, Bruce D. Perry, Oprah Winfrey

The Sound of the Mountain, Yasunari Kawabata

I fell in love with hope, Lancali

Blindness, Jose Saramago

As Long as the Lemon Trees Grow, Zoulfa Katouh

The Fall of the Human Intellect, A. Parthasarathy

Chłopki, Joanna Kuciel-Frydryszak

Birdy, William Wharton

A Little Life, Hanya Yanagihara

Widma w mieście Breslau, Marek Krajewski

Mock. Golem, Marek Krajewski

Educated, Tara Westover

Lolita, Vladimir Nabokov

1984, George Orwell

The Test, Sylvain Neuvel Wish me luck! It was pretty good year of reading!

[transandersrights]

Happy Friday! And welcome to DADWC! ✨ I'm going to give you a song lyric prompt for Handers (if you like): “The unending amends you’ve made are enough for one life. Be done.” from '81 by Joanna Newsom.

(I take prompts! See info here)

For @dadrunkwriting - 600 words of post-canon, post-taint cure m!Handers based on the above lyric from this beautiful song. Ty for the prompt!

“I was meant to die.”

Anders’ words were whispered at dusk, the rasp of his voice barely audible over the waves. He’d spent most of the day crying; Hawke had too.

They were good tears, promising tears, a future laid out before them and a poison no longer running in Anders’ veins. Tears for years no longer lost and everything they could do together. Hawke was rung dry in the second best possible way, and Anders…

“You weren’t.”

Anders snorted, and Hawke could hear the way it caught in his throat. “I was. If I hadn’t fled when I did I might have died in the Circle. No Wardens at Amaranthine? Dead. Didn’t join with Justice? Dead. I was willing to die in Kirkwall, and then with the Calling…” He sighed. It was the most either of them had spoken all day, at least in one go, and Anders’ voice was wrecked.

“You didn’t want to go on it,” Hawke prompted. The darkness encroached more with every moment, but he could still see Anders’ nod. “So you don’t have to. Not anymore. And I mean, if you want to throw your life away in a final, desperate struggle against— actually, I won’t finish that. You know I wouldn’t let that happen.”

“Even if I wanted it really badly?” And how was it fair, that he got to tease about dying?

“I think I know you better than that.”

Anders smiled, and fuck, he was so beautiful. The sea winds whipped the hair off his face, leaving salt-marked cheeks and every line of his face in full view. “Woe is me, to be known and loved.”

“Quiet, you.” Hawke reached upwards, brushing his thumb across the plain under Anders’ left eye. “You’re deflecting.”

The wrinkles at Anders’ eyes creased further. “I suppose I am.”

“There’s no repayment you’re due to make, you know.” This conversation was as old as time — Hawke had long since come to terms with Anders’ Calling. Now he had to become unaccustomed to it, and Anders did too. “The Wardens saved your life. But it wasn’t fair that you would probably have died without them.”

Anders leaned forward, his forehead meeting Hawke’s. “You make a compelling argument,” he said. “But I made that choice willingly. I could have walked away without undertaking the Joining. I could have run away without Justice. I could have walked away from Kirkwall.”

“It’s always Kirkwall, isn’t it?” Hawke moved his hand to tangle in Anders’ windswept hair. He needed a haircut again — or maybe he didn’t. Maybe it could grow wild, like the forest beyond their little garden behind their little house by the sea. “Sometimes, I think you loved that city more than I did.”

Anders made a gagging noise. “Try again, love.”

Hawke couldn’t help it; he threw his head back and laughed. It crackled at the end, but it was real and Anders chuckled with him. “It’s been years. You’ve more than made your amends.”

“I don’t think—”

“If you’re about to name someone who would never forgive you, no matter what you did in the years since, stop.”

Anders just smiled again, because he was predictable and they knew each other too well for that nonsense.

“You’re free, Anders. No Circles, no tainted blood. You can put down the torch you’d light your own pyre with and live.”

Anders gripped Hawke’s hand so tightly it felt like every joint creaked. “So long as you’re there with me.”

Hawke grinned. “That shouldn’t even be in question.” Anders smiled back, and they were crying all over again.

They had a long night ahead of them. But longer still was the road that stretched out towards them, no longer ending in the deep roads, and Hawke wouldn’t trade that for the world.

[triviareads]

Can you suggest any books with good blow job scenes?

Like the one you described?

Read Grace Callaway. Any book. All her books. Every heroine gets off on blowing him, and every hero is SHOOK and brought to his knees every time it happens. My favorite is either from The Duke Who Knew Too Much where Emma and Alaric are in a dark corner and on the other side of the curtain, they hear someone coaching someone through a blowjob, and Emma basically follows that other man's instructions..... on Alaric. OR Fiona and the Enigmatic Earl has a somewhat rough carriage blowjob where Hawk is standing in the carriage and gripping onto the handles while like, thrusting into her mouth. It's a wild time. Wait I have one more: The Return of the Duke has a scene where, uh, I feel like this post best sums it up.

The Raven Prince by Elizabeth Hoyt: Gorgeously written, very stark in part because they do not talk; Anna's a bit chagrined about how the last time they had sex went down (he did all the heavy lifting so to speak) so she figures blowing him will help her regain the upper-hand.

Thief of Shadows by Elizabeth Hoyt: An emotionally raw blowjob that starts as a way for Isabel to make Winter *perceive* her, and ends with BOTH of them crying which I am a sucker for.

Brazen and the Beast by Sarah MacLean: Genuinely one of the most romantic blowjob scenes I've ever read; Whit is tied up against the mast of a ship while Hattie blows him and it's so emotional I can't-

The Earl I Ruined by Scarlett Peckham: Notable because Apthrop coaches Constance through a blowjob behind a curtain at their own engagement party, and they're BARELY finished when the curtain drops.

Lady Viper and the Bastard by Eva Leigh: This is a part of the Villian I'd Like To F... anthology; There's a fabulous blowjob scene in which they're roleplaying lecherous dance master/innocent student and he's "teaching" her how to blow him (the irony here being Violet and Ian are both much older and very jaded).

The Lady Gets Lucky by Joanna Shupe: Another great example of a more female gaze-y blowjob since Alice is doing it to assert her desire for Kit which is why she came to him for sex lessons in the first place. Kit is so proud, and then gets absolutely wrecked.

Devil of Downtown by Joanna Shupe: So maybe Jo has a thing for writing her "good girl" heroines going down on the hero. This is another excellent carriage blowjob that has big bad gangster Jack Mulligan (and I quote) "wheezing" even before Justine has her mouth on him.

I'm sure I've read other good bj scenes but they're not coming to me atm— I'll reblog if I remember any!

[mariacallous]

Meduza's The Beet: Heels for freedom

Hello, and welcome back to The Beet!

Eilish Hart here, the editor of this weekly dispatch from Meduza that brings you original reporting from across Central and Eastern Europe, the Caucasus, and Central Asia. If someone forwarded you this email, sign up here to receive future issues of The Beet. Want to sample some more of our work first? Check out last week’s story about how independent journalism persists in Turkmenistan. And don’t miss my full interview with Access Now tech-legal counsel Natalia Krapiva, who kindly joined Meduza’s The Naked Pravda podcast to discuss recent revelations about the use of Pegasus spyware in Armenia during the 2020 Nagorno-Karabakh war and its aftermath.

Hundreds of thousands of protesters gathered in Warsaw last Sunday for an anti-government march timed to coincide with the 34th anniversary of the partially-free elections that ushered in the fall of Poland’s Communist regime. With a parliamentary vote coming up in Poland later this year, and President Andrzej Duda now moving to water down a controversial piece of legislation that critics fear will be used to target the opposition, this is something to keep an eye on. But it’s not the topic of this week’s feature. Instead, we’re turning to Warsaw to celebrate the start of Pride Month with a story that takes us inside the Polish capital’s drag scene and introduces us to its late queen, Kim Lee. Journalist Joanna Kozlowska reports for The Beet.

Heels for freedom: Kim Lee and the history of Polish drag

By Joanna Kozlowska

Kim Lee in her Warsaw studio before a performance. 2019.

ZULA RABIKOWSKA

Just over a century ago, looking into the future after emerging from a world war and 120 years of foreign occupation, Poland abolished all aristocratic titles. Later, decades of Communism rendered all thoughts of royalty remote. Yet this year, the Polish capital has crowned a queen, and the choice may surprise some.

A short walk west from Warsaw’s main train station, stepping into the whitewashed mansion that houses a branch of the municipal museum, visitors are greeted by a riot of pastel colors. A black-haired figure in a sumptuous golden dress smiles from a poster near the entrance that reads, Kim Lee. The Queen of Warsaw. The museum’s latest blockbuster offering, the temporary exhibition celebrates an artist lovingly dubbed “Poland’s best and only Vietnamese drag queen,” whose life story is as stunning as the costumes assembled inside. 

“Kim Lee had to be real, because nobody could have made her up,” a column in Poland’s largest left-wing daily recently proclaimed. “If she were a character from a TV show, conservative reviewers would tear it apart. More progressive ones, too, might doubt the scriptwriters’ sanity.”

A display from the exhibition “Kim Lee. The Queen of Warsaw.” 2023.

TOMASZ KACZOR / MUZEUM WARSZAWY

Of the half dozen people The Beet’s correspondent interviewed who knew Kim Lee’s creator Andy Nguyen before COVID-19 cut his life short in 2020, all would agree. Nguyen’s story is indeed almost too unusual to be true. 

A star student in his native Vietnam, Nguyen came to Poland on a scholarship just as Communism was being dismantled. He got a research job at one of the country’s top physics institutes, only to see his pay fall to a pittance during the economic turmoil of the 1990s. He then worked odd jobs to support himself and his young family. For a time, the former scientist ran a market stall selling East Asian goods that a close friend compared to those at Warsaw’s now-demolished 10th-Anniversary Stadium. (Once the site of Communist Party galas, the stadium was later reduced to a sprawling outdoor bazaar where vendors from all over the former Eastern Bloc hawked pirated software, flouncy underwear, and dubious health remedies).  

Nguyen’s drag persona, Kim Lee, was born at the turn of the millennium and soon shot to stardom beyond the wildest dreams of anyone in Poland’s fledgling drag scene. “She whizzed into the mainstream like a meteor,” says Teo Łagowska, a performer with Warsaw’s Drag King Szarm Trio collective. 

Nguyen’s long-time partner, Remigiusz Szeląg, concurs. “Kim performed everywhere,” he recalls. “Non-stop, all over Poland, he was a fixture at ‘straight’ parties and club nights, at burlesque shows. He appeared on TV, on discussion panels. He twice gave lectures at the University of Warsaw — needless to say, in full drag.”

Andy Nguyen (Kim Lee) getting ready for a performance in his studio. Warsaw, 2019.

ZULA RABIKOWSKA

Pleasant surprises

Magdalena Staroszczyk, who curated the exhibition in Warsaw, has no doubt that it belongs in a public museum. She is visibly proud of bringing the project to fruition, not least given the Polish government’s enduring anti-LGBTQ stance. “Queer history should be just as present in various institutions as any other [history],” she underscores.

For almost a decade, Poland has made headlines for its ruling party’s dogged defense of “traditional values” that critics say amounts to little more than anti-LGBTQ policies. Successive electoral campaigns have seen the Law and Justice Party intimidate voters with the “rainbow menace,” while top officials — including Poland’s current president and education minister — have suggested that LGBTQ people don’t deserve equal rights. By October 2019, more than 60 local and regional councils had adopted anti-LGBTQ declarations, with right-leaning councilors decrying the spread of an “LGBT ideology” they claim threatens families. Local authorities and Polish courts have since scrapped some of these resolutions (in many cases for fear of losing E.U. funding), but a sense of deep unease remains. 

Both Szeląg and Krzysztof Tomasik, Nguyen’s friend of many years and the author of multiple books on Polish LGBTQ history, describe the Warsaw exhibition as a turning point for queer visibility. The show, Tomasik stresses, is housed in a state institution — a clear victory for those calling for greater inclusion, even if the museum’s financing comes from Warsaw’s relatively liberal city hall, rather than Poland’s Culture Ministry. 

Staroszczyk, the curator, sees Nguyen’s’s life and work as an integral part of Warsaw’s history. She also notes the artist’s close links to the city’s Wola district in particular, where the museum is located. Nguyen, a long-time resident of the neighborhood, kept more than 1,000 hand-sewn costumes in a space in Wola that became known as “Kim Lee’s Dressing Room.” He also performed in many local clubs, some of which popped up in the district’s shuttered factories. 

Nguyen choosing an outfit for a performance. 2019.

ZULA RABIKOWSKA

Nguyen sewing a costume in his studio. 2019.

ZULA RABIKOWSKA

Today, Wola retains a post-industrial feel, with the high-rises that used to house its workers towering over the museum’s Neoclassical pile. Staroszczyk says that neighbors have been venturing in to get what for many is their first taste of drag. 

“We have one neighbor in particular, an older lady who I’m told has seen the show several times already. She’s been delighted and has been bringing friends along. That was one of the pleasant surprises,” the curator says. 

Groups of retirees — most but not all of them women — regularly book guided tours of the exhibition, Staroszczyk adds.

Local councilors from the Law and Justice Party, meanwhile, questioned the rationale behind the exhibition, while some right-wing and Catholic publications accused the museum of promoting a “deviant lifestyle.” However, as of early June, there has been no sustained political or media campaign against the show, nor protests trying to disrupt it.

On an overcast Saturday in May, the exhibition was well-attended. Groups of visitors admired Kim Lee’s hand-crafted creations — from silk kimonos to voluminous gowns that wouldn’t look out of place in Bourbon-era Versailles — and attempted their own drag transformations, trying on frilly boas and curly blond wigs. Two middle-aged women giggled with delight as they posed before a mirror garlanded with flowers. One 19-year-old visitor named Maciek admitted he’d been surprised to discover that Kim Lee had sold out clubs years before RuPaul’s Drag Race — the U.S. reality competition series that brought drag to a wide audience — premiered on Polish Netflix in the early 2010s. 

The opening of the exhibition “Kim Lee. The Queen of Warsaw.” 2023.

TOMASZ KACZOR / MUZEUM WARSZAWY

Polish divas and a whiff of the West

Researcher Jakub Wojtaszczyk, whose book of interviews with Polish drag performers was published last June, says that self-described drag queens began appearing in the early to mid-1990s, not long after Communism’s collapse. Their acts often harked back to Polish “divas” from Communist times: cabaret star Violetta Villas with her layered, feathered gowns, 1960s sex symbol Kalina Jędrusik, who scandalized crowds with her backless outfits, and patrician mezzo-soprano Irena Santor were all clear favorites. 

One of the drag scene’s stalwarts, Lady Brigitte, recalls impersonating both Villas and Santor during her performances in the 1990s. She says that many queer men at the time embraced Villas as an icon. “She was a colorful flower, a bright light that seemed to have arrived [in Communist Poland] from America, she was bold and courageous, and above all, different,” the drag queen says. 

“Of course, we’d also tackle foreign figures like Cher and Tina Turner — you wanted to have that whiff of the West. But most of each show would revolve around Polish artists,” she explains. 

According to Ludmiła Janion, a cultural studies scholar at the University of Warsaw, the history of Polish “queer icons” goes much deeper. As she speaks, Janion pulls out photos of cross-dressing Polish actors from the 1910s, 1920s, and 1930s, one of them the spitting image of U.S. dance pioneer Isadora Duncan. One of the extraordinary performances of that time, she says, comes from the 1937 comedy Neighbors (Piętro wyżej, in Polish). A glittering romp about a feud between two music-loving residents of a Warsaw townhouse, it shows cabaret heartthrob Eugeniusz Bodo wow an audience with his impersonation of the American actress Mae West. “Sex appeal is our womanly weapon,” Bodo sings as he whirls around the stage in a blond wig and a sparkling black dress. 

Eugeniusz Bodo (center) impersonating Mae West in the 1937 film “Neighbors”

WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

Some Polish film critics view the scene as a nod to LGBTQ audiences, pointing to the blossoming of queer culture in interwar Warsaw. “Bodo never got married. He wasn’t the type to chase after women,” Janion explains. “Of course, we can’t be sure that he was gay, but he was an ambiguous figure,” she adds, noting the actor’s string of cross-dressing characters during the brief but intense flourishing of Warsaw’s cabaret scene in the early 20th century. 

With the advent of Communism, this artistic freedom came to an end. Cross-dressing performances did not disappear, Janion says, but like much else, they retreated to the private sphere; to the semi-safety of high-rise apartments and tipsy evenings with friends. As a result, records of these “clothes-flipping parties” are sparse and hard to find. 

The parties themselves might have slipped into obscurity if Kim Lee hadn’t stopped to chat with an older gentleman who’d come to see her show one day in 2008. She soon found out that Andrzej Szwan, 69 at the time, had decades of “clothes-flipping” performances under his belt, even if his ornate costumes had scarcely left his building. With Nguyen’s help, Szwan transformed into one of Poland’s most eye-catching drag queens: Lulla la Polaca. Now 84, Szwan is still performing and much-loved by the media, including Vogue’s Polish edition and the country’s most august opinion magazines. 

However, researchers Janion and Wojtaszczyk disagree about whether the “clothes-flipping parties” of Communist times and earlier film and cabaret performances can be classed as drag. Wojtaszczyk would rather reserve the term for modern-day performers who choose to use it themselves, while Janion is happy to speak about “a continuum of drag performances” that involve cross-dressing, an audience, and a note of homoerotic tension.  

Andrzej Szwan (Lulla la Polaca) in the 2022 documentary film “Boylesque”

HBO

‘Sister, you’re the activist type’

Lulla la Polaca, for one, was quick to call herself a drag queen once she started performing publicly. She also proudly describes herself as an LGBTQ activist. Most people I speak to agree that the term could also apply to Kim Lee, though not all Polish drag performers embrace it. 

“I’d always say to her: sister, you’re the activist type,” recalls Polish drag queen Lady Brigitte, referencing a double act she and Kim put on in the 2000s. Lady Brigitte herself has a more ambivalent attitude towards activism (“I performed at fund-raisers, but they were mostly for homeless animals”), though she expresses admiration for Nguyen’s engagement with Polish LGBTQ groups at the time. 

“There must have been more than twenty,” Szeląg replies when asked how many queer rights organizations Nguyen was involved in during his lifetime. He adds that Nguyen was also active in Poland’s Vietnamese community — “although he liked to keep that part of his life separate,” initially for fear of negative reactions to his same-sex relationship and stage persona. 

These concerns ultimately proved unfounded, Szeląg maintains. “Poland’s Vietnamese community has undergone a great transformation,” he explains, describing various relatives and friends of Nguyen’s he’s met over the years. “A while ago, a journalist from London came to interview its members for a story. Asked about famous Polish-Vietnamese people, every single one mentioned Kim Lee.” 

In Kim Lee’s Dressing Room

PAT MIC / MUZEUM WARSZAWY

Szeląg and Tomasik say that Nguyen didn’t like to dwell on the racist taunts he sometimes faced. Be that as it may, he publicly weighed in on what Polishness could and should mean by starring in a music video that parodied Poland’s infamous 2014 Eurovision entry. “We are Slavic” by Polish singer Cleo and record producer Donatan, with its busty, butter-churning milkmaids and appeals for foreigners to “try Polish women,” prompted a collective groan from the country’s feminists and liberals. Donatan’s comments denigrating that year’s winner — Austrian drag queen Conchita Wurst — only added fuel to the fire. 

Kim was not one to sling back insults. Instead, she twirled around a meadow in Polish folk dress, lip-syncing to lines about “hot Slavic blood” and Polish women “ruddy as fresh bread.” 

Wojtaszczyk and the drag performers The Beet’s correspondent interviewed also recalled Kim’s role in integrating Poland’s drag scene and raising its profile, whether through hosting “Miss Drag” pageants or judging competitions. Teo Łagowska and Agnieszka Małgowska of the Drag King Szarm Trio — the aforementioned Warsaw collective of female and gender-queer performers who embody mostly masculine characters — stressed that Kim advocated inclusivity within a scene that they say still sidelines groups like theirs.  

Nguyen’s untimely death from the coronavirus in 2020 was “a shock for Poland’s rainbow community,” Małgowska says. “We always thought that Kim would become a senior drag queen, like Lulla [la Polaca], that she would dance until the end of time,” she laments. 

In Kim Lee’s Dressing Room

PAT MIC / MUZEUM WARSZAWY

Szeląg, Tomasik, and Staroszczyk all spoke of the Museum of Warsaw exhibition as a means of mourning the artist and honoring his memory. Tomasik, the author and Kim’s long-time friend, says that a “terrible sadness” remains, but he also notes his satisfaction that Polish drag is finally beginning to get official recognition. “It’s an art with a decades-long history and its own icons,” he says. “These are just the first attempts to commemorate, remember, and honor them.”