#jody is amazing and her scenes with sam are always good

[trialssam]

It's funny how Claire is less annoying when she's talking to Sam. That post about Sam enriching the characters when they interact with him is so true

[wayward-dreamer]

A Man of Action

Square/s Filled: Intercrural Sex (Kink Bingo), Director!Jensen (AU Bingo)

AO3 Link: Read Here

Pairing: Director!Jensen x Female!Actor!Reader

Word count: 6,516

Rating: Explicit - 18+!

Summary: While directing his episode of Supernatural, Jensen and Y/N, the female guest star of the week, can’t hide their attraction for each other any longer. A little fun in his trailer is nearly over before it starts, but they find ways to keep each other satisfied.

Created for @spnkinkbingo​, @spnaubingo​

Warnings: Swearing, Dirty talk, Smut: Oral Sex (Male and Female receiving), Intercrural sex, ‘Sir’ kink, Implied protected sex in the future.

A/N: My first Jensen one-shot! *cue nervous laughter*... A HUGE thank you to my sister from another mister, my twin @downanddirtydean​ for being beta on this one! I love her to bits and she really helped me get over my lack of confidence in this one-shot. I hope you guys like it! Happy reading and enjoy! :)

Dividers by @talesmaniac89​

Y/N lightly bopped her head along to the slow melody playing from her earphones, as she flicked the page of the book she was reading. Crossing one leg over the other, she steadied the folding tall chair she was sitting on. Glancing up from her book, she smiled as she looked around at the set, waiting for the signal that they were ready to resume.

Y/N watched the crew, hard at work as they fixed lighting, checked the sound and redressed parts of the bunker. Her eyes scanned over the many people who worked tirelessly to make this show, feeling grateful to be even a small part of it herself.

This was her second time on the Supernatural set. She had guest starred in an episode last season, with Kim Rhodes who played Sheriff Jody Mills. Kim had quickly become a great friend, showing the ropes of the set, as did everyone else. She laughed as she remembered messing up her first scene with the stars of the show, Jared and Jensen, and how they quickly reassured her that she didn’t do anything for them to be mad at. They loved to have a laugh as much as the next person and were more often than not the ones who did most of the messing up of takes on purpose.

The first time was quite civil, but considering this was her second episode, Y/N was no longer off limits from the guys’ antics. Jared in particular was a giant goofball, doing everything perfectly on his coverage, and then purposely being bad on hers. Jensen was a little subdued this time around, as he was the director for this episode, but that didn’t mean they hadn’t had any fun.

There was an attraction between them. She felt it from the moment she laid eyes on him when she walked onto the set the year before. He was incredibly kind and absolutely hilarious, and not to mention insanely good-looking. They had talked and laughed about so many things in those 8 days, and she felt herself beginning to feel things for him she probably shouldn’t have. This time around, he may have been directing, but they still talked a lot. He showed her different parts of the stages during lunch breaks, walked her to lunch every day for the last 7 days, and made her feel so welcomed.

Y/N sensed that maybe the attraction wasn’t one sided as she often caught him looking at her, but she couldn’t be too sure and didn’t want to make a fool of herself in case she was wrong in her assumptions.

Y/N smiled as Frida, one of Supernatural’s assistant make-up artists, approached her. Her make-up bag, as well Jensen and Jared’s, were all hanging off of her as she returned a genuine smile to Y/N. She took out her earphones and closed her book, shifting in her chair to face Frida properly.

“Touch up time, already?” she asked, pushing her hair back slightly.

“Yep, we’ll be good to go in about 5,” Frida replied, taking out a brush and running it lightly through some powder. She applied it to Y/N’s face and then worked a little on the touching up the eye make-up. “Looking forward to it?” she added with a laugh.

Y/N cringed, lightly shaking her head. “Dear god, give me strength to get through it.”

“Get through what?” she heard a familiar voice ask.

Y/N’s eyes flicked up to look at Jared as she sat down in his chair, next to her. “To get through your unrelenting need to ruin my coverage.”

Jared laughed, clapping his hands. “It’s just too easy.”

“I know how Misha feels now,” Y/N laughed, closing her eyes as Frida worked on her eyelids.

Frida laughed along with her, nodding. “And Alex too.”

Trish, the head make-up artist, came up behind Frida and took Jared’s bag, getting him ready for the next scene.

“Pretty sure he’s still scarred from that time everyone was out to get him to crack, even Misha,” Trish added, chuckling.

“We’re up and running in 2!” they heard one of the assistant directors call out.

Frida finished up with Y/N as Trish finished touching up Jared’s make-up, allowing Y/N to get up and walk over to the war room set. She walked past crew members and smiled at them, a quick ‘hey’ to each of them as she did. She loved this set more than any other she had worked on. It was only her second time here, but it felt like home, with everyone always welcoming her back with open arms. She didn’t think she would be back a second time, but she was incredibly glad that she was. She loved her character, Lyla, so much and she was over the moon to explore her again.

Y/N felt the butterflies in her stomach erupt as she spied Jensen, in a deep conversation with Bob Singer as they looked over some of the dailies on the screens in front of them. He looked amazing, dressed as Dean in his black t-shirt and blue jeans, the white and black flannel draped over a chair close by. He was frowning but nodding along as Bob explained something to him, his scowl making him look even hotter if that was possible.

Suddenly, Jensen turned and walked towards her, his frown immediately morphing into a genuine smile as he approached her. She felt her heartbeat pick up, but she tried to calm herself down as she turned to face him.

“Okay, so we’re getting your coverage first, then Jared’s. I know he’s meant to go first, but making him wait tends to make him cooperate,” Jensen informed her, laughing lightly.

“Going easy on me, huh?” she joked, smiling up at him.

“A little, but you’ve handled it pretty well so far,” Jensen said, folding his arms across his chest. That gesture had killed her every time he did in the last several days, and this time was no different.

“Meh,” she shrugged, laughing. “I can throw it back at him if and when I need to.”

Jensen gave her nod, smiling with an approving look. “I won’t even try to stop you.”

She laughed as she shook her head, Jensen’s relaxed laughter joining hers.

She cleared her throat as she calmed herself, looking up at him. “Do I look okay, Mr. Director, sir?”

Jensen looked into her eyes, finding himself getting lost in Y/N’s beautiful features. He certainly wasn’t good at hiding his feelings for her, not the first time he met her and definitely not now. She was stunning, but she was also open and generous, kind and a total badass. He really wanted to ask her out and see where things went between them, but considering they were in their last day of filming, and she was more than likely leaving the next day, he knew he had missed his chance.

“You look great,” he told her, honestly and hoping she’d see how he meant it as more than just a director approving of her look for the episode.

Things moved pretty quickly from there, as Jensen left to sit behind the screens at video village, the cameras turned on and framed Y/N in the shot with the rest of the war room behind her, Jared stood to the side making sure to hit the mark and be in her right eye line. Everyone buzzed around them before José came in with the tail slate and called the take.

“Action!” they heard Jensen call out.

Y/N instantly fell into character, looking at Jared as ‘Sam’ and smiling. “How does Dean feel about this?”

Jared didn’t move considering the camera wasn’t on him, but he delivered the next line. “It took him a while to get used to the idea of Jack, but he got there eventually.”

Y/N nodded, staying in character. “You know what you’re doing, teaching Jack the ropes of this life… that’s amazing.”

Jared scoffed. “It didn’t exactly work though.”

“He’ll come back, Sam. He will. He just has to figure out what’s going on with his powers and he’ll come back to the bunker.” She finished the line but frowned, thinking it over. “Wait, sorry. Is it “come back to the bunker” or something else?”

One of the crew members quickly looked over the sides, and then shook their head. “It’s ‘come back home.’”

“Fuck, okay,” she groaned, annoyed with herself. “Sorry.”

“You’re fine, Y/N. Just take it from the same line,” Jensen reassured her, and she took in the patience in his voice. He was so damn good at this and she felt incredibly safe with him as a director and as an actor. She recalled how many times someone was awful to her just for messing up slightly, and how crappy she felt afterwards. She had never felt that on the Supernatural set, and she was so thankful for that.

“Let’s keep rolling,” Jensen informed everyone. “Y/N, when you’re ready.”

She nodded. Waiting a few seconds, she then continued. “He’ll come back, Sam. He will. He just has to figure out what’s going on with his powers and he’ll come back home.”

“It’s ‘to the bunker’,” Jared said, trying to be serious as he tried to mess her up.

“You’re an ass,” she laughed, shaking her head.

Jared laughed that mad laugh she had actually come to love very quickly, and she joined in. They descended into a fit of giggles, knowing full well it wasn’t that funny, but it somehow got to them anyway.

Jensen watched the screen in front of him, his eyes never leaving Y/N. Her laugh was infectious, and she looked even more beautiful when she did, making his heartbeat wildly in his chest. Knowing he had to break up the laugh fest, regretfully, he stood up from his chair.

“Alright, we’re good on Y/N’s coverage. Let’s move on and then we can break for lunch,” he announced.

The bell sounded as every present crew member hurried around the set, getting set up to shoot Jared’s coverage.

Y/N looked up and saw Jensen glance over at her. He smiled that smile she found herself wanting to see every second of every day, making her feel lightheaded and the butterflies flutter in her stomach again. He truly was a sight to behold and she only hoped that something more came of her time on Supernatural.

They managed to get through Jared’s coverage pretty quickly, Y/N doing off-camera dialogue for him as he had done for her. The bell sounded again, and Jensen called lunch. Everyone walked towards craft services, chatting about different parts of their lives. Jensen was talking with Bob, but after quickly making some decisions, he moved away and walked up to Y/N.

She looked up at Jensen as she felt him next to her, smiling brightly. They walked side by side through the lot, past all the pick-up trucks, SUVs and large trailers that housed the different departments of production. For the last 7 days, this had been a regular occurrence, him walking her to the lunch tent. On the 8th and final day of filming, it was no exception. She could feel the attraction between them, and a part of her hoped that he might ask her out, but she would even settle for a casual hook-up at that point.

“Ah, fuck,” he muttered, as he suddenly stopped short while looking down at his phone. “My phone’s about to die. Mind if we make a quick detour to my trailer so I can charge it up?”

“Lead the way,” she said, smiling as she gestured for him to go ahead. She followed him to his trailer, stepping in behind him.

As he looked around for a charger, she turned to every angle of the trailer, taking it in. It was big and spacious, with a large flat screen and comfortable couch, a bed at the other end and a nice kitchenette, but that was it. There was nothing outlandish and unnecessary in there.

“Nice to know there’s no aquarium in here,” she laughed, folding her arms.

Jensen scoffed a laugh as he shook his head. “Yeah, they really went overboard with that one.”

Finding a charger, he plugged it in and put his phone on charge. He turned to her, arms out as he brought attention to the trailer.

“So, this is it,” he said, his hands coming down and straight into his pockets. “As glamorous as you pictured, right?”

“Oh, much more than I was expecting,” she said, pretending to be serious. They looked at each other and laughed, as she shook her head. “I like it. It certainly doesn’t scream lead of a TV show slash on and off director.”

“What does it scream then?” he asked, looking down at her as she moved closer to him.

“Just a regular guy underneath all that star power,” she replied, her hand coming up and softly grazing his covered bicep.

She looked at him, her eyes never leaving his. It was clear to both of them that there was something between them. The minute she stepped onto set earlier than week, Jensen knew he was done for.

“Can I ask you something?” he wondered, his tongue darting out and licking at his lips, nervously. That little gesture had nearly sent her to her knees so many times that week, and in that moment, she felt like she would if he did it again.

“Shoot,” she told him.

His hand came up and took hers, his fingers intertwining with her delicate ones. “When can I see you again?”

“I don’t know. I’m leaving at noon tomorrow,” she said, moving closer to him and taking in the smell of his cologne.

“I can’t stop thinking about you,” he whispered, his head dropping forward to rest his forehead against hers. “Tell me I’m not fucking insane, and you feel something for me too.”

“You’re not,” she whispered in return, shaking her head against his. “The only thing fucking insane is that we didn’t do anything the minute we met.”

That was the only in Jensen needed. His hands cupped Y/N’s cheeks and pulled her face up, his lips pressing into hers in a rough but sensual kiss. Her hands roamed his chest, fisting his black t-shirt in her hands, trying to bring him in closer. They pulled away for a brief moment, breathing into each other heavily as they tried to catch their breath. They quickly stripped out of the clothes they were wearing, careful not to tug harshly as they were the costumes they’d have to put back on. Cupping her face again, he smirked as he moved them over to the couch.

“On your knees,” he instructed.

She huffed a laugh as she grinned. “Yes, sir.”

He quickly unbuckled his jeans and pulled them down, sitting back on the couch as she moved down to her knees in front of him. She tugged at his boxers and pulled them down, his hard cock springing free. She gasped as she smiled, her hand slowly wrapping around the shaft.

“Put my cock in your mouth, baby,” he demanded, his hand coming up to her hair and wrapping into it, tugging her closer.

She hummed as she moved closer, her tongue licking a stripe up his shaft. “You gonna direct me, sir?”

He groaned as he bit his lip, smirking. “Yeah, and if it’s anything like it is on set, I know you’ll hit your mark.”

She sucked at the tip of his cock, her tongue circling the head before she moved down, taking his length into her mouth. She bobbed her head, her spit coating his cock as she built up a rhythm.

“Fuck,” he growled. “Your mouth’s so fucking perfect, Y/N.”

She looked up at him, taking him deeper into her mouth.

“Hold still, darlin’,” he muttered in his sudden Texas drawl, his hand gathering her hair into his palm, the other cupping her face.

She stilled her movement, as he began thrusting up into her mouth at a fast pace. His cock hit the back of her throat, causing her to moan each time it did.

“Fuck, baby,” he groaned, looking down at her. “Look so good with my cock between your lips.”

Her saliva covered his cock, the glugging sound loud as he slipped in and out of her mouth. She looked up at him, her eyes glistening from the pressure of his hard cock against the back of her throat. His hand pressed down on her head, making her take his length into her mouth all the way to the base, holding her in place. She moaned to avoid gagging, thankful she didn’t have a gag reflex. He pulled her up, his cock leaving her mouth with a wet pop, a harsh breath leaving her lips as air came back into her lungs.

“Can’t wait to fuck you,” he said, cupping her face in his hands and bringing her lips to hers.

He lifted her up and carried her to the bed, throwing her down on it. She squealed as she bounced on the mattress, a naughty smile on her face as she looked up at him.

“God, you’re so fucking hot,” she muttered, as her eyes raked over his body.

“I should be saying that about you,” he smirked, getting onto the bed and holding himself up above her.

He leaned down, kissing her passionately, before trailing down her jaw, neck and down to her breasts. His flicked his tongue over her nipple, his hand coming up to roll the other between his fingers.

“Fuck,” she moaned, as his felt his other hand move down her body.

He smirked as he sucked her nipple, feeling the slick between her legs. He released the nub and looked down at her, his fingers running through her folds and finding her clit. She moaned loudly, forgetting where she was for a moment, as she felt his fingers circle the bundle of nerves.

“Shh, baby,” he whispered, as he looked down into her eyes. “Can’t let the crew hear us.”

“Jensen… fuck me,” she whimpered, as she cupped his face.

Taking one of her hands off her face, he pinned it to the bed above her head. A chill ran down her spine as she looked into his eyes, now dark with arousal.

“Say it properly and I will,” he ordered, his voice gravelly and demanding.

She gulped but smiled tentatively. “Please fuck me, sir.”

“Good,” he said, before he leaned down and kissed her lips, once then twice.

They continued their passionate embrace, Y/N’s arms wrapping around Jensen’s neck as one of her hands combed into his short hair at the nape of his neck. Their lips moved against each other’s roughly and sensually, as they became desperate to feel more of each other. He held his cock and ran it along her folds, her wetness slicking his shaft and a clear sign that she was more than ready for him. However, his movements suddenly stopped as an unfair realization came to him.

“Shit,” he muttered, pulling his lips away from hers. He looked down at her as an annoyed expression graced his face.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, suddenly worried she had done something wrong.

“I just remembered… I don’t have any condoms,” he replied, grimacing as he held himself up above her. “I don’t do this… well, ever. So, I don’t have anything.”

Her frown matched his. “I’m not on the pill right now, either.”

He nodded, trying to smile reassuringly and hide his disappointment. She knew that he was though, because she was too. She was desperate to feel him against her and inside her.

“I guess we better get to lunch, then,” she muttered softly, pushing herself up on her elbows. Her face was close to his, causing her to lean over and kiss his plump lips, softly.

“I just want to feel you,” he whispered against her lips, leaning in.

“Me too,” she said, in an equally hushed tone before his lips claimed hers again.

An idea suddenly came to him and he just hoped that she would be okay with it.

“Trust me?” he asked, softly as he looked into her eyes.

She smiled up at him, nodding slowly. “Yes, sir.”

He smirked as he helped her lie down on the bed again, bringing her legs up to rest her ankles on his shoulders. He shifted back until he was standing, her behind now on the edge of the bed.

Jensen smirked as his eyes darkened, taking hold of his cock and slapping it over her mound a few times. He moved Y/N’s thighs closer together, until they met around his cock. Slowly, he began to thrust, sliding his cock between her thighs in a gentle and sensual pace. She moaned softly, the new sensation of feeling his shaft against the skin of her inner thighs awakening something within her. He groaned, biting his lip at this new found arousal as he continued to move between her legs.

“How do I feel, sweetheart?” he asked, looking down at her.

“So good,” she moaned, looking at him. His ‘sweetheart’ gave her Dean vibes, which was definitely something she was adding to her list of kinks.

He picked up speed, his thrusts between her legs now a moderate pace. He gripped her thighs tight in his hands, which would no doubt leave bruises that she would get to admire later.

“Fuck,” he growled, his jaw clenching as he felt the pressure around his cock. “You feel so fucking good, baby.”

“Shit,” she hissed. A small laugh left her mouth as she shook her head. “If this is anything to go by, I can’t wait for you to fuck me.”

He chuckled as he nodded. “Can’t wait to fuck you either, Y/N. Can’t wait to feel you around my cock, taking me so well.”

“Jensen,” she moaned softly. She remembered to keep quiet in case of wandering ears of crew members.

His hand came up and back down on her thigh, smacking her hard enough to make her yelp and get her attention. He looked at her with his darkened eyes, stern and somewhat frightening, which only aroused her more.

“Last time I checked, I’m still your director,” he groaned, grasping her thighs tight. “Touch yourself.”

She moaned as her hands came up to her breasts, her fingers tweaking her nipples as she looked up at him. He grunted as he watched her, one of hands slipping down between her legs. His fingers found her clit, rubbing them in tight circles around the swollen nub.

“Fuck! Jensen,” she moaned, breathlessly. “Make me cum.”

He chuckled as he shook his head, his fingers slowing down to a torturous pace. “Not yet, baby.”

“Please,” she begged, her chest heaving with her shallow breaths.

“You have to ask better than that, Y/N,” he informed her, the smirk still on his face.

“Please,” she whimpered. She moved one of her hands down, trying to touch her clit but he smacked it away, not giving up the control he had in that moment. “Please, sir… please make me cum.”

“Let’s make a deal, baby,” he suggested, an eyebrow raised as he continued to thrust between her thighs. He groaned, knowing he was close to his own release. “Make me cum first between these perfect thighs, and I’ll let you cum… all over my face.”

She moaned loudly, nodding frantically. The idea of his mouth on her where she wanted him most was too much to bear.

Pressing her thighs together firmly, Jensen’s thrusts became quicker and erratic, getting closer to falling over the edge. He growled as the pressure around his hard cock built, feeling it pulse with his impending release.

“Fuck,” he groaned. His hips faltered as he gripped tightly at the flesh of her thighs. He threw his head back, as he let go of her legs, and grasped his cock in his hand. He pumped his hand along his shaft, biting his lip as he looked down at her spread out on his bed. She sat up on her elbows, smiling up at him as she moved his hand away, taking over for him as her hand moved up and down along his cock.

“Oh fuck, Y/N,” he let out a guttural moan as her hand picked up speed. Ropes of his cum spurted out of his cock, landing on her stomach. She continued to pump him, making sure he gave her everything he had, relishing in the warmth of his release against her skin.

He breathed heavily, his hand cupping her face as he smiled at her. “Your turn.”

Moving his hand to her shoulder, he pushed her back lightly, smiling as she laughed. He got down on his knees, grasping her hips and pulling her to the edge of the bed. Y/N laughed as she slipped down, moving her hands up to her breasts and pinching her nipples. He smirked as he looked up at her, his tongue licking a stripe up her folds. He moaned at the taste of her, feeling how wet she was already from just fucking her thighs.

“Oh fuck,” she moaned loudly, as she felt his stubble against the inside of thighs. She bit down on her lip, trying to keep herself quiet as he continued to run his tongue along her folds, the vibrations of his moans running through her.

“Taste so fucking good, Y/N,” he muttered against her mound, looking up at her. “So perfect.”

He moved his mouth to her clit, moving his tongue in tight circles around the nub. Her hands came down and grabbed his short hair, clenching tightly as she pressed her lips together. His hand came up, slowly inserting a finger into her wet entrance, moving it in and out of her. He added another finger and began to thrust them back and forth, the pads of his fingers hitting her g-spot every time. She whimpered as he picked up speed, his perfect mouth sucking at her clit as he continued to move his fingers.

He released her clit from his mouth, kissing her inner thigh as he moved up her leg.

“So fucking beautiful,” he muttered against her skin, placing small nips along the inside of her thigh.

He looked at her, the smile never leaving his face. She pushed herself up on her elbow, her other hand still in his hair. Leaning up, he kissed her roughly as he continued to thrust his fingers into her. She moaned into his mouth, tasting herself on his tongue. She felt the familiar feeling of her release approaching, the coil winding tighter and tighter.

“You ready to cum for me, sweetheart?” he asked, his breath fanning against her lips.

“Yeah,” she gasped, nodding as she looked into his eyes. “Make me cum.”

“Make me cum… what?” he asked, his voice gravelly. A deep rumble erupted from his chest as he laughed with a mischievous grin.

She whimpered, gripping his hair harshly. “Make me cum, sir.”

“Good girl,” he praised, moving his head back down again.

Jensen moved his mouth back to her clit, his fingers picking speed as he hit that sweet spot inside of her with precision. Y/N looked down at him, still leaning on her elbow to give her a better view. She held his head in place, fearing he’d move if she removed her hand. He licked at her clit, the sounds of her wetness and his ministrations reaching her ears and causing a string of soft moans and whimpers to leave her lips. His mouth sucked at her, his tongue moving around the nub tightly and his fingers thrusting, faster and faster. She bit down on her lip, nearly drawing blood as the coil in her belly snapped. A harsh, strangled whimper of his name left her lips, as she came hard on his tongue and fingers. He lapped at her folds, taking in her juices before he moved his head away, smiling at her.

With a quick kiss to Y/N’s thigh, Jensen got up and fell back on the bed next to her. She breathed heavily as she looked at him, trying to catch her breath. Turning his head, he looked into her eyes. He turned onto his side, moving closer to her. His lips hovered close to hers, his eyes flicking between all the features of her face. She moved in the rest of the way, kissing him softly. Their lips moved passionately against each other’s, not wanting to let go. As much as he didn’t want to let go, he knew they had a schedule to keep today before they wrapped later that night.

“We only have 20 minutes left,” he mumbled, regretfully against her lips.

She nodded, sadly. “We should go.”

They both got up from the bed, cleaning themselves up and getting dressed again in relative silence. The only sounds were the rustling of fabrics and shoes on the floor of the trailer. Y/N fixed her hair as much as she could in the mirror, her eyes continuously flicking over to Jensen as he did the same, fixing the mess she had made of his short locks. With one last look at each other, Jensen opened the door of the trailer and looked around, letting her out first when he saw that no one was around. They walked to the lunch tent, receiving a few questions on their whereabouts. Jensen was quick to tell everyone he took Y/N to see some of the fan favourite props of the show, and Y/N was glad that people believed him, for the most part.

They ate quickly, both of them silent as they sat across from each other. Y/N didn’t know if they weren’t talking because they are was awkwardness after what happened, or whether it was because he didn’t want to accidentally say something about it in front of the crew. Quite frankly, she was fine with not talking about it just yet. She wasn’t sure where they go from here. Did Jensen want to see her again? If so, would it be just to sleep together finally, or did he want more?

She didn’t think she wanted to know the answers to those questions. Not yet anyway.

Little did she know, the same questions were running through Jensen’s head. He enjoyed what happened back in his trailer, but sue him if he didn’t want more with her. He wanted to go the full home run with her, but if he was being completely honest, he wanted to see her again and again. He wanted to ask her out and see where they go from there.

He knew he had to take a leap of faith and ask her before she left town, because who knew when she would return.

They were back on the bunker set, this time in the war room to shoot the last scene Y/N would be in. It was interesting that Y/N’s character leaving at the end of the episode was the second last scene they were filming, but that was where it happened to land. It was like it happened organically, which was rare for their set during filming.

Jensen was standing at the head of the map table, Jared next to him as Y/N stood across from them. Video village was set up at the other end of the library, giving them more room in the war room for lighting and boom mics. Things were quiet as they fell into their characters, Y/N slinging the duffle bag over her shoulder, as the assistant director called ‘action’.

“Thanks for your help. We really owe you one,” Jared said as ‘Sam’.

She smiled at him, shaking her head. “You really don’t.”

Jensen gave her that signature ‘Dean Winchester’ look, the one that said he was thinking about how to approach a subject. “You know where to find us if we do.”

“You’re buying the six-pack next time,” she said, chuckling slightly.

“Done,” ‘Dean’ said, smirking at her. She smiled at Jensen, finding that her genuine smile to him seeped into the scene.

“See you boys around,” she said, nodding at them. She turned on her heeled ankle boots, walking towards the staircase. With one glance over her shoulder, she gave them a small wave which they returned. She took the stairs all the way up, hearing the AD call ‘cut’.

“Alright, let’s see,” Jensen muttered as he walked over to video village.

Y/N walked down the stairs and over to the map table and placed the duffle bag on it. She waited to hear whether they would have to do another take or not.

“Alright, check the gate! Moving on!” Jensen called out. “That’s a wrap on Y/N Y/L/N!”

He quickly came out from behind the screens, walking over to her and Jared. All the crew around her clapped, as she gave them a small curtsy, laughing as Jared came over and hugged her.

It wasn’t the usual treatment of guest stars, as they usually came in and did the work and then left but considering there was buzz that her character might make a return, they wanted her to feel at home with all of them. They were kind to people with even the smallest of roles, so Y/N always knew she’d be in safe hands with the Supernatural crew.

Y/N hung around to say goodbye as they shot the last scene between the boys. In that time, she sat with her laptop, hoping she could change her flight to leave in a few days. With luck, she managed to find one leaving Vancouver in 5 days’ time, giving her plenty of time to stick around and explore these feelings she had for the handsome green-eyed actor. She couldn’t wait to tell him.

Given that Jared and Jensen had such a great shorthand with each other, they worked quickly to get the work done. Jensen called a wrap on the episode, and they all congratulated him on the amazing work he did. Everyone began to pack things up, the make-up ladies heading to their trailer as Y/N walked with them. She removed all her make-up, freshened up and then got changed into her clothes she wore to set that morning.

Y/N said her goodbyes to Trish and Frida, followed by the rest of the crew and Bob Singer. Jared swooped in for another big hug, nearly breaking her in half with the pressure of his arms around her.

“Jesus, you don’t know your own strength, you know that?” she said, cringing in slight pain as she turned and twisted, trying to get feeling back in her body.

“Hey, not my fault you can’t handle it,” he laughed, patting her back. “Alright, I’m out of here. I hope I’ll see you soon.”

“Me too,” she smiled, as he enveloped her in a softer but still warm hug. She decided to leave out the fact that she wasn’t going anywhere just yet, wanting to tell Jensen first.

Jared walked towards the parking lot, heading for the SUV that Cliff was waiting by. They were no doubt waiting on Jensen, who had been finishing up some paperwork after wrapping the episode. Y/N slung her bag over her shoulder, walking towards his trailer in search of him. Reaching the door, she knocked a few times and waited. The door opened, a tired but smiling Jensen greeting her.

“Hey,” he smiled, leaning against the door frame.

“So… I have some news,” she told him, a smile playing at her lips.

“Oh yeah?” he asked, his eyebrows raised as he folded his arms across his chest. His arms were exposed thanks to his black t-shirt, and she suddenly felt like her skin was on fire. She tried not to show her disappointment when he put on his jacket and grabbed his backpack, shutting off the light in the trailer as he closed the door.

She nodded, stepping down from the stairs to the trailer and turning to him. “I changed my flight. I’m leaving in 5 days.”

Jensen felt his heart skip a beat with that news. He nodded, the smile growing bigger on his face. “Well… you want to come over tonight? We can pick up where we left off.”

She bit her lip, nodding slowly. “I’d love to.”

Keeping up the pretence that there wasn’t anything going on, Jensen went back home with Cliff driving him to his apartment. Y/N called an Uber, knowing that if she had joined them Jared and Cliff would question what was happening. She and Jensen hadn’t spoken about it, but they both knew that there wasn’t anything to say to anyone until they figured it out themselves. For now, she wanted him in ways she’s never wanted anyone else and she was more than ready to see what he was capable of.

Reaching Jensen’s apartment, Y/N went up to his floor and down the hall, knocking on his door, noting that it was the right one from the text he had sent while she was in the Uber. The door swung open, and she grinned as Jensen smirked at her, letting her in. She took in the apartment, with its beautiful view of the city lights twinkling at night, a large screen TV and comfortable couch, and his guitar on the wall closest to her. However, as nice as it was that wasn’t where her mind was in that moment.

Turning around, Y/N looked at him, his eyes reflecting the same things she was feeling. They moved towards each other, their lips meeting in a rough, but sensual kiss as they wrapped their arms around each other. Pushing and pulling at each other’s clothes, their lips continued to move against each other, not wanting to stop.

“Thank god you changed your flight,” he mumbled against her swollen lips. “I can’t wait to fuck you.”

“Then what are you waiting for?” she asked, grabbing his shoulders and jumping up, wrapping her legs around his waist.

His hands immediately supported her as he carried her off to his bedroom.

By the time they came up for air, the sun was rising, and Jensen had to leave to go to work for the first day of the next episode. With a promise of returning later that day, he told Y/N to stay at his apartment, telling her she could use whatever she wanted before he had to leave.

As she stood on the balcony and looked out at the view with her morning coffee, she had never been more thankful to a job she had taken. She made some great friends already, there was a buzz that she may come back for more episodes, and she had met the most incredible man who she couldn’t wait to explore more with.

She found herself repeating Jensen’s words from the night before as she smiled into her morning cup of caffeine.

Thank god she changed her flight.

-x-

If you’re crossed out, I couldn’t tag you :(

Tags: @deanwanddamons @winchest09 @downanddirtydean @jensengirl83 @wonder-cole @that-one-gay-girl @flamencodiva @ellewritesfix05 @roonyxx @akshi8278 @hobby27 @michellethetvaddict @spngirl05 @kyjey @halesandy @440mxs-wife @stoneyggirl @deanswaywardgirl @redbarn1995 @marianita195 @babypink224221 @deans-baby-momma @parinarain @thoughts-and-funnies @mandalou29 @jerkbitchidjitassbutt @superaveng @supernatural-love14 @vicmc624 @prettyboyswow @lunarmoon8 @supernatural-bellawinchester​ 

[rose-tinted-juls]

juliana's fav tv shows updated: 26.07.2021.

la casa de papel / money heist (2017-) nationality: spanish created by: álex pina main actors: úrsula corberó, álvaro morte, itziar ituño, pedro alonso, miguel herrán, jaime lorente, esther acebo, alba flores short summary (imdb): "an unusual group of robbers attempt to carry out the most perfect robbery in spanish history - stealing 2.4 billion euros from the royal mint of spain." seasons: 4 - (season 5 is coming in september + december 2021) why i love it (in a few words): it's thrilling, all the characters are perfectly written, i love listening to spanish speech, the actors are awesome, SO INCREDIBLE PLOT, uncountable twists, i got attached so fast, i binge watched it, it never feels forced

band of brothers (2001) nationality: american created by: tom hanks, steven spielberg main actors: damian lewis, ron livingston, ross mccall, rick gomez, james madio, kirk acevedo, neal mcdonough, scott grimes, dexter fletcher, donnie wahlberg short summary (imdb): "the story of easy company of the u.s. army 101st airborne division, and their mission in world war ii europe, from operation overlord, through v-j day." - based on the book band of brothers by stephen e. ambrose seasons: 1 why i love it (in a few words): it's ww2 and i'm a huge ww2 enthusiast, i love hbo war, it shows the good and the bad, we follow the whole journey of these soldiers and it's amazing, the actors are absolutely incredible, their friendships are 100/10, the cinematography is beautiful, it's based on a true story

downton abbey (2010-) nationality: english created by: julian fellowes main actors: hugh bonneville, maggie smith, michelle dockery, dan stevens, robert james-collier, allen leech, penelope wilton, matthew goode, lily james short summary (imdb): "a chronicle of the lives of the british aristocratic crawley family and their servants in the early twentieth century." seasons: 6 + 1 movie (the second movie comes in december 2021) why i love it (in a few words): it has phenomenal actors, the plot is exciting-thrilling, there are twists you don't expect, so many love stories and i love them, fantastic characters, it's often so funny i can't stop laughing, dame maggie smith and her performance as the dowager is just incredible and i love her, costumes on point, tom branson o.o

broadchurch (2013-2017) nationality: british created by: chris chibnall main actors: david tennant, olivia colman, jodie whittaker, arthur darvill short summary (imdb): "the murder of a young boy in a small coastal town brings a media frenzy, which threatens to tear the community apart." seasons: 3 why i love it (in a few words): david tennant, his scottish accent i can't-, olivia colman, their duo oh my god these two together are something extraordinary, it's such a thrilling show wow, SO MANY PLOT TWISTS, cinematography is phenomenal and gorgeous, it's so funny at times oh lord (especially david), it's impossible to stop watching

the pacific (2010) nationality: american created by: tom hanks, steven spielberg main actors: joe mazzello, jon seda, james badge dale, rami malek, ashton holmes short summary (imdb): "the pacific theatre of world war ii, as seen through the eyes of several young marines." seasons: 1 why i love it (in a few words): hbo war, it's ww2 and i'm such an enthusiast of it, joe mazzello is incredible oh my, it's a bit graphic (for some people it's too graphic and i can see why) but i love it, it makes you feel you're there fighting and like wow, actually all the actors are amazing in it, we see three different story lines so we get to know different aspects of the whole thing

the crown (2016-) nationality: british created by: peter morgan main actors: claire foy, matt smith, olivia colman, tobias menzies, vanessa kirby, helena bonham carter, josh o'connor, emma corrin short summary (imdb): "follows the political rivalries and romance of queen elizabeth ii's reign and the events that shaped the second half of the twentieth century." seasons: 4 - (season 5 and 6 are in the making) why i love it (in a few words): i've always been interested in queen elizabeth's life, this is a look inside the royal family that you don't often have, the actors are SO AMAZING, honestly sometimes it's so funny and then the next minute it's heartbreaking, it teaches me more about them than anything else, i guess it gives you their point of view so you can understand them a lil bit better, as a child i loved the british royal family so baby me is happy inside when i watch it

the falcon and the winter soldier (2021) nationality: american created by: malcolm spellman - stan lee main actors: anthony mackie, sebastian stan, wyatt russell, daniel brühl short summary (imdb): "following the events of 'avengers: endgame', sam wilson / falcon and bucky barnes / winter soldier team up in a global adventure that tests their abilities - and their patience." seasons: 1 why i love it (in a few words): i'm a huge marvel fan, my fav characters are sam and bucky, SEBASTIAN STAN, it's funny (honestly which marvel movie/series isn't?), the cinematography is gorgeous, the plot is great, fight scenes on point

biohackers (2020-) nationality: german created by: christian ditter main actors: luna wedler, jessica schwarz, adrian julius tillmann short summary (imdb): "a fast-paced thriller following medical student mia akerlund who discovers the use of highly advanced biohacking technology in her university town." seasons: 2 why i love it (in a few words): exciting, plays in a city i know, plot twists, the cinematography is amazing, a beautiful show honestly, the plot is interesting and one of a kind imo, the actors are pretty great

the mandalorian (2019-) nationality: american created by: jon favreau main actors: pedro pascal short summary (imdb): "the travels of a lone bounty hunter in the outer reaches of the galaxy, far from the authority of the new republic." seasons: 2 - (season 3 is coming) why i love it (in a few words): i love star wars and the star wars universe, pedro pascal is amazing, honestly i fell in love with pedro just by his voice literally without even knowing his face, BABY YODA, the character development, exciting plot, pretty awesome fight scenes, great actors

the queen's gambit (2020) nationality: american created by: scott frank, allan scott main actors: anya taylor joy, thomas brodie-sangster, harry melling, jacob fortune-lloyd short summary (imdb): "orphaned at the tender age of nine, prodigious introvert beth harmon discovers and masters the game of chess in 1960s usa. but child stardom comes at a price." seasons: 1 why i love it (in a few words): cinematography is beautiful, anya taylor joy is gorgeous, and she's such a talent oh my, i love chess, the plot, TBS is in it, it's a show you can't not binge watch it just pulls you in

( +1 )

peaky blinders (2013-) nationality: british created by: steven knight main actors: cillian murphy, paul anderson, helen mccrory, joe cole, finn cole short summary (imdb): "a gangster family epic set in 1900s england, centering on a gang who sew razor blades in the peaks of their caps, and their fierce boss tommy shelby." seasons: 5 - (season 6 is coming) why i love it (in a few words): i love mob stuff in general, so amazing actors oh my, cillian murphy, helen mccrory, it's so dark i love it, plot plot plot, the soundtrack is phenomenal (especially when it's arctic monkeys shhh), it's british (yay)

[insertdeeplyrics]

On the ending of Supernatural

Hi, I’ve never actually posted anything on Tumblr of my own creation (I mostly reblog stuff), but I’ve just seen the ending of Supernatural, and given that this is where I’ve been fed my SPN content, it felt right to share my thoughts here. I’m sure nobody is going to read this, but whatever, I just need to get this out of my chest. Sorry in advance if this is too long, but I have to type this out if I want to move on.

I still need to take some time to process everything that’s happened, because it is a lot. I did have my hopes up for the finale, thinking that Cas would at least show up, but like many of the fans, I was let down.

So I guess that would be the first issue I had with the episode. Regardless of what Dean felt towards Cas, if he reciprocated his feelings or not (which he totally did, I mean, we have all been watching the same show for 12 fucking years, and if you don’t believe me, there are plenty of metas that would support this statement), he still is his best friend and it doesn’t sit right with me the fact that he doesn’t even try to find a way to rescue Cas from the Empty. And okay, maybe he didn’t, make Cas got resurrected by Jack, then why the hell wasn’t he on the final episode? He was a pivotal character for the series, I mean, the proof is in the ratings: Season 7, when he was killed off to apparently never return, the ratings were at their lowest. The show may have started as just Dean and Sam, but over the years it became much bigger than them, and it is so disappointing that the show runners failed to acknowledge it. But I’ll get back to this point later.

Okay, I need to talk about Dean’s death, the only part of the episode that made me cry, because my poor baby had to suffer so much! Like, when he started saying that Sam never put up with John’s crap (which reinforces my headcanon that John was abusive towards the boys) and how much he admired him for it, my heart just shattered. I just love Dean Winchester so freaking much, and they did him so dirty... Don’t get me wrong, Jensen and Jared’s acting was 10/10, like, I thought I had a grip of myself and then Sam started crying and tears came back to my eyes. Nonetheless, I felt that the scene was so freaking long! I mean, Dean was dying, and he had time to make a 10 minutes-long speech! C’mon! Also, I get that Sam and Dean’s relationship is quite deep and strong and whatever, but I felt a bit unconformable watching it: it didn’t feel like a brotherly goodbye, more like a lover’s one. They were too touchy and intimate, and, overall, their relationship from this point on was coded as a romantic one, in my opinion. And Chuck, did I hate it! I have an older brother and I know what it is like to be close to your sibling and to love him more than anything else in the world, but the way they portrayed their relationship on this last episode felt incest-y, which makes me believe that this scene was originally written with another character in mind (cough CAS cough) or the writers don’t know the difference between romantic and brotherly love. To finish off, the way they killed off Dean??? I mean, I did expect Dean to die, but this was such a horrible and ridiculous way to go... I would have accepted it if he died actually fighting, but impaled??? After all he’s been through, after fighting so many demons, angels and deities, that’s how he dies??? That just felt cheap and rushed. Dean did not deserve that ending and I refuse to accept it. In fact, I refuse to acknowledge the existence of this whole fucking mess of an episode. Also, I just can’t believe that no one showed up to Dean’s funeral. I just can’t. I get that maybe it was difficult to bring in a lot of actors due to the pandemic, but they could have added them on post-production...

Next, we have Sam’s ending. He quits hunting and finally obtains his white-picket fence life. I did like the fact that he honored all of his friends and family that he lost along the way, especially Dean. Like, yes, if my brother died, I would like to keep a token (don’t know if that’s the actual word for it, my first language is not English), to have something with me that reminded me of him and to have him with me wherever I go. And I did like that he named his son Dean, in honor of his brother. However, we don’t know how he met his wife, we don’t even know who she is. They set up Sameileen for what?? Like, Sam and Eileen deserved better, tbh. And, again, even with Covid restrictions they could have done something to signal that Sam got married to Eileen, you don’t need the actor there. In fact, we never actually found out what happened to her, and just like I can’t believe that Dean didn’t even try to save Cas from the Empty, I can’t believe that Sam didn’t reach out to Eileen. Furthermore, the montage with his son felt cheap and a way to try to appeal to the audience’s emotions... (Btw, as a side note, the grey wig and the glasses, my god, they did Jared dirty 😂😂). But it wasn’t doing it for me, I didn’t care much for the kid, and while I do believe that was always going to be Sam’s ending, I didn’t like how it was executed.

And the worst part of it all: that suuuuuper long scene with Dean driving in Heaven, waiting for Sam. They could have used that time to show something more meaningful, even to develop a bit more Sam’s new life, how he adjusted to domesticity and fatherhood and all that crap. Or, I don’t know, A TEAM FREE WILL 2.0 REUNION??? And I guess this is my biggest issue with the whole episode. I get it, Sam and Dean are the central characters, the ones that started it all, but family don’t end with blood, and they were not the only ones who deserved a goodbye. They had formed so many bonds and friendships over the years, and to not have them address them on the final episode just feels infuriating. Especially Cas. His arc was not finished, he deserved to be on the finale. We never got Dean’s reaction to his confession, we don’t know how he felt about him, nor did Cas get to say goodbye to any other character. How did he get out of the Empty? What is he doing now? Is he still an angel? Also, he gave his life to save Dean, only for Dean to be killed not long after. My headcanon that is helping me cope with Dean’s death is thinking that he was so quick to accept his death because he was hoping to reunite in Heaven with Castiel. A girl can dream, ok??? But also, what about Jack? He is the new God, but I highly doubt it that he won’t drop by the Bunker from time to time, after all, Sam and Dean (AND CAS, ESPECIALLY CAS) raised him. And Charlie? Did she get back with Stevie? Did she and the boys go for drinks from time to time? And Jody? Donna? Claire? Sorry to be so repetitive, but I just can’t understand why the writers thought that these characters weren’t important enough to deserve a spot on the finale, and not just an off-hand mention (and not even all of them got that). Of course, the brothers are the main characters and their goodbye must be the longest and the most emotional of them all, but like I said before, the show stopped being just about the Winchesters on season 3, when Bobby was first introduced, maybe even 4, with Cas.

Overall, the finale left a lot of questions unanswered, most of them regarding secondary characters (but not less important for that!), completely destroyed Sam and Dean’s character development (Dean never got to be free, like he had been fighting for all season, probably all his life; Sam’s development is non-existing, as he ended up as he would’ve if he never had gotten on that hunting trip with Dean 15 years ago), and completely disregarded all the themes they had been setting up this season, probably on previous ones as well. It is sad knowing that the writers, either don’t know the show good enough to give it a proper goodbye, or they just didn’t care to do so. I don’t know who’s to blame here (definitely not the actors, though, probably someone higher up the chain), but I just know that I am so fucking disappointed. I expected more from the last episode of a 15-season TV show, one that has been part of my life for 7 years. I guess, that despite all of it, I can’t hate Supernatural. Maybe I was not a hardcore fan like some people on this site, but I did care for the characters and what happened to them. This is the show that introduced me to the world of shipping (Destiel will always hold a special place in my heart, it doesn’t matter how badly their relationship was treated, as well as the characters) and I got to discover one of my favorite characters, Dean Winchester. He is just such so complex, one that I relate to on so many levels, and his relationship with Cas has been the source of many short stories that I’ve never posted anywhere, but that have made me take up writing again. That’s the reason why I love the show so much, it has helped me tap into my creativeness and go back to writing, a passion of mine that I seem to have forgotten over the years. Anyways, maybe one day I’ll publish some of those stories, and maybe even write my own fix-it fanfic, but right now, I can’t deal with anything that has to do with the show, I am too hurt. Maybe once the five stages of grief are over, I might give it a try and read all of the amazing codas and fanfics that I’m sure will be posted here or on AO3. But for now, Supernatural is dead and gone, and I don’t want to talk nor think about it anymore. I’m done wasting my time here, because I feel like that’s what I’ve been doing this past 7 years after watching this crap of a finale.

To finish this long rant off, I just want to say thank you to some meta-writers, the true heroes of the fandom. Thanks to them, I carried on watching the show, because they made me have hope that things will get better. They are the ones that have made this experience worth something, and even though I’ve never spoken to any of them, I see you and I love you. Thanks for everything ❤. 

@tinkdw @charlie-minion @dotthings @heliodean @verobatto-angelxhunter @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover

[equestrianheart]

ok, humour me for a minute.

this isn’t a fix it fic, it’s more of a fix it episode synopsis.

if i could write my own silly little perfect ending: it would mostly be the same up until jack defeats chuck in 15x19.

then, amara becomes god. she is benevolent and she’s caring and she’s everything chuck wasn’t. like jack does in the real episode, she closes her eyes and all the people who got dusted come back. à la avengers endgame with clint’s wife, we know because sam’s phone rings, and its a facetime call from eileen. the relief in his voice is unmatched as he answers.

back at the bunker, dean is first in the door and thunders down the steps. he’s almost afraid to hope, but there he is. standing in the middle of the library, is castiel. he looks bashfully at the man he so clearly loves.

“hello, dean.”

THEN

15x20. its got a “road so far” segment, god damn it.

it’s a jump five years in the future. it’s 2025, we’re at a house, it seems to be out in the country, under a wide blue sky. they have a barn, which appears to be all set up for a wedding, with white chairs and a flower arch. there is no exposed rebar in this barn.

they come inside to a house bustling with people. the camera pans through the warm home, everyone is hugging each other, all dressed to the nines. bobby. charlie and stevie. jody, alex, donna, claire and kaia. rowena has come up from hell and crowley is also there because idk his mom is the queen of hell and i’ve just decided that in my perfect episode he was resurrected at some point. garth and his family are there. donatello. the GHOSTFACERS are there! becky and her family are there. mrs butters came back from her forest for the occasion! adam is there, since he was killed by chuck and brought back by amara.

the next scene is in one of the bedrooms, and the brothers are both in suits. sam is fixing dean’s bowtie. there’s a closeup of his hand—he has a wedding band on already. it’s not his wedding!? dean looks nervous.

“tell me honestly sam—is it too much? should i change my pocket square? what do you think about these shoes...”

“dean. shut up. you’re freaking out. just breathe.”

the music slows down, all emotional and we get a monologue that i probably can’t come up with now, but sam tells dean all the things he’s done for him, how much he loves him. how hard they’ve fought together to get themselves to this point. how good it is to see dean so happy and in love. they hug. it’s beautiful.

dean leans back and looks at sam.

“my baby brother. I love you so much.”

the next scene, everyone is seated in the barn, ready for the wedding.

amara is revealed to be under the flower arch, ready to officiate, because who better to wed two lovers than god herself?

sam walks dean up the aisle, as an instrumental version of carry on my wayward son is played by a string quartet.

jack walks down the aisle next, and he is clearly the flower girl. he has a flower crown on (humour me) and he’s clumsily throwing flowers all around him. it’s adorable and amazing and kind of hilarious. he sits at the front, next to eileen and sam, who now has their little boy on his lap. jack gives a thumbs up to dean.

everyone turns for the big reveal.

castiel, dressed in the most handsome suit, walks up the aisle.

the music swells and we see dean’s face light up as we have a hundred times before, because he’s never tired of seeing his person. he is teary eyed and humbled and in love. cas reaches the arch.

“hello dean.”

“hi cas.” dean barely whispers.

amara begins, we’re gathered here today to join these two in holy etc etc.

when it comes times for vows, dean’s not always been great with words, and he keeps it short and simple, but it’s clear to anyone how much this means to him.

castiel brings the entire barn to tears with his. something about millennia spent observing humans and he never understood them. he never understood love, or loss, or want. only duty. but pulling one dean winchester out of hell would lead him on a renegade path, to defeat death, the devil and god just to keep loving him.

sam, still weeping, places his son on the ground, gently pushing him towards his uncles, saying “go on, bobby!”

he toddles over with the two rings. dean goes down to his level and takes the rings, giving him a hug. he adores his little nephew. cas puts a loving hand on his head and bobby looks up. cas signs “thank you” to him. cas and dean exchange rings.

“you may now kiss the angel!” amara exclaims.

dean dips cas back and we get the most incredible, passionate kiss. the crowd cheers, (miracle barks), and dean looks at his husband.

“I love you.”

the song ends, and they run out of the barn, hand in hand, showered in confetti by their friends and found family.

the next scene is the first dance, and it’s just got to be “I can’t help falling in love with you”, hasn’t it? they waltz, and the crowd is out of focus in the background. all that matters right now is these two and their love.

dean looks up and the camera follows his eye-line, lingering on one of the barn walls, which has been adorned with pictures of all their friends they’ve lost. the picture of them all at bobby’s house with jo and ellen. pictures from the day they went LARPing with original charlie. a picture of cas and gabriel. the picture of sam, dean and their parents from the bunker.

cas turns and looks too.

“theyre with us, dean.”

more wedding scenes...

castiel throws the bouquet and charlie catches it, looking at stevie and waggling her eyebrows. jack is dancing with little bobby, because they’re both adorable babies. crowley and rowena have some pretty slick moves on the dance floor, because duh. adam hugs his brothers.

dean and cas cut into the cake, which is of course not a cake but a huge PIE!

the last scene is the brothers sitting on the impala bonnet, having a beer together. it’s clearly late in the night, and you can hear the crickets, and the sound of the party dying down in the barn behind them.

dean throws an arm around his brother, pulling him close.

“we did it, sammy. it was you and me against the world, and we did it.”

Fade out

THE END

OBVIOUSLY this is a completely naive disney style happily ever after, but let me have my fun god damn it!!!! if i was ever so inclined, i’d fic it. maybe some day!

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. XCIV

It was a love story from the very beginning.

And you are not here... (Part. II)

(13x02/13x03)

Hello dears! We are here again, witnessing Dean's mourning for Castiel, and we are suckers for that.

I will try to convey in this meta two episodes, so let's see what happens!

The rejection

At the beginning of the episode, we had Sam and Dean talking about Jack. Dean keeps rejecting the kid because he put on him the weight of loosing Castiel.

They find a motel, and Dean plays the tv, and there's Scooby, and for a brief moment we saw him smiling. Then Dean gives Jack the Bible, and the kid opens it in the Book of Song of Solomon, which is from the Old Testament, and it talks plenty about a two lovers that try to find a way to be together. So the poems describe their passionate and beautiful love for each other, their sadness and their difficulties. Is narrated romantically poetic of that time.

This is very meaningful because the book could be symbolizing Castiel and Dean, trying to be reunited. And the kid is the one who will help to do that. Two lovers that were separated by death but also, who had lived a lot of difficulties together.

Also this quote from Asmodeus:

ASMODEUS: The pain, the, uh, the total humiliation… it forged an eternal bond between us.

Is just a little taste of a dark parallel to Destiel. Is a dark, toxic bond, forged by pain and humiliation, all the opposite of Destiel bond. And we are witnessing this quote because is in the next episode the one Jack will wake up CAS through Dean's mourning. The power of their bond forged by love. The lovers will be finally reunited again.

This scene is when Jack shows Dean is his role model... But also, let's check out the colors...

Go f credit @deansplushy

The room is blue (Castiel) and the kid is imitating Dean, Dean knows it and looks very done with it.

But the whole room is painted in Blue, as if Castiel were in Jack and Dean's mind the whole time.

Then, this foreshadow...

DONATELLO: Sam? Dean? Is God with you?

Donnie was certainly sensing the new God, but also these words...

DONATELLO: (...) So… a few days ago, I’m online, checking out condos in Boca, and I am knocked off my feet by this weird wave of power. Not exactly like God’s. More like… something new, something fresh. I was drawn to it. It’s here.

Something new, something fresh, that's a good description for a new God that just had bey born. Donnie knew it the whole way long.

After this they decided to brought Jack to tattooed the sigil... And this very symbolic dialogue happened between Jack and Dean:

JACK It hurt.

Gif set credit @demondetox

This is the description of grief. So, if Dean was trying to give himself a message and to push the kid into that idea, Jack took it well. He knows he has to endure it. Even if Jack is talking about physical pain, or emotional pain, it fits perfectly with the lesson is floating around loosing Castiel.

Another discussion about Jack happens and this time Dean explodes into hurtful words, and Jack flies away.

The scene in which Sam is talking with him is very beautiful, but also, the colors caught my attention again...

Gif credit @deansplushy

Again, the color blue behind Sam and Jack, is another reminder of Cas. We also have the green (Dean) behind Sam, and Sam is talking about him. Is a very nice played scene, because Dean is to Sam what Cas is to Jack here "a father" but the good one. And Sam trying to explain why Dean acts like this...

SAM: Dean doesn’t hate you. It… Look, sometimes the wires in Dean’s head get crossed and—and he gets frustrated, and then he mixes frustration with anger, and—and fear.

JACK: Why would he be afraid?

SAM: Because Dean feels like it’s his job to protect everyone. And right now, we need to protect you. But we may also need to protect people from you.

JACK: Maybe I’m not worth all this.

SAM: Your mom thought you were. So did Cas. So do I.

Sam is mentioning one of Dean's inner issues: THE BIG PROTECTOR, as a raised first born, and as a obedient soldier, Dean is trying to fulfill the order his father gave him the night their house were burning and Mary died. John Winchester gave Sam to Dean, and asked him to take care of him, so, the GUILT HERITAGE as I spoke so many times, is playing rudely in Dean right now. He wants to fulfill that mission, because his father asked him to. This is the toxicity in Dean's personality. In harmony with the quote that is said in this same episode: the sons that try to please their fathers.

The Anger and the Patience

When the episode starts, we are immerse into a psychic house, in the window we can see an eye, as a representation of psychic but also, the eye in the triangle represents God. And we all know Chuck is about to come in season 14.

We can distinguish too a book: 'The knowledge of ourselves" in Dede's house. Is an interesting reference to what I about to come: the whole season 14 will be a self-knowledge path Dean will take based on his experience of being faced with himself in the possesion. As I described in my metas, the experience of the possesion is similar to being in Purgatory for Dean: all his human necesites will be gone, and the purity in his heart will be exposed: What do you want?

When Dede is in front of the spectrum, she can see his true form, just like we will see through Anael's eyes, AUMichael's true form.

Let's jump onto Jack's scene watching a video Kelly left him. The mother's message is very pivotal in Jack's life.

KELLY: Hi Jack, it’s uh… I’m your mom. I guess I should tell you, um, I always wanted to be a mom. I’d play with dolls. I was that kind of girl and daydream about my baby.

Kelly is certifying here he wanted to have Jack, Jack was loved. Not rejected, but loved. Kelly says I WANTED TO BE YOUR MOM.

KELLY: Jack, don’t let anyone tell you who you’re supposed to be. Because who you’re supposed to be isn’t fate, it isn’t me, it isn’t your father. You are who you choose to be. And I know you’re going to okay. You are going to be amazing. You have an angel watching over you.

'It isn't me (not human) it isn't your father (not an angel)' is the perfect description of Jack, because he is gonna be the New God. And the last quote is a recall of Mary saying the same to Dean, when she was pregnant. And, emotionally linked to episode 15x18, in which Case says 'I got you' to Jack and then to Dean.

Dean keeps rejecting Jack, calling him a monster, is a blatant self punishment facing the huge guilt he carries in his heart after losing Castiel.

An important scene happens between Missouri and Dean. She, as a psychic, can sense Dean's mourning and depression.

MISSOURI: Oh honey, I’m sorry for your losses.

Dean looks surprised to these words, all the pain he was trying to hide, mostly in front of Jody and her, it shows.

Another self reflection in the mirror of the spectrum foreshadowing Dean staring at the mirror, possesed by Michael.

The conversation between Sam and Jack shows how Jack feels himself as a monster, also he has GUILT, we are witnessing here the GUILT HERITAGE from Dean to Jack, just like John did with him.

Also, Sam see himself in Jack, through his experience with the darkness in the past.

A parallel with Kelly's messages is reflected on Missouri goodbye words to her granddaughter Patience in the cemetery.

MISSOURI: I promise, no matter what happens, no matter where I go, I will always look out for you. You hear?

The words are different but the feelings are the same. Mostly because Sam was reading a book about how to help gifted kids, and this episode talks about two gifted kids: Jack and Patience. The two of them trying to control their powers. But Jack is encouraged to do that and Patience is not allowed to do it by his father.

A little bit interesting point we have in the spectrum WRAITH feeding by psychic's brain, is a continuity with AUMichael living inside of Dean.

When everything ends, Dean has some words with Patience that caught Jody's attention...

PATIENCE: I talked to my dad. He thinks I should put it away. Dad says we should just get back to normal. Maybe he’s right.

DEAN: He is. This life, hunting, monsters, there’s no joy in it. There’s nothing but pain, horror and death. So if you get a chance at normal, you take it.

Dean speaks directly from his broken heart, he had just lost CAS, so he lost everything. There's not meaning in keep living for him. He had seen the death that being a hunter brings. So, he had changed. Everything is sadness, grey and dark for Dean. There's no hopes, no light.

But Jody will speak again, just like Kelly did with Jack, using similar words for Patience:

JODY: Patience, wait. I may be out of line here but you don’t have to listen to him. To either of them if it’s not what you really want.

Not me, not him, Patience need to find herself, just like Jack. Just like the book prayed at the beginning of the episode.

Okay, we are going to focus now in theast scene, so so important!

When Sam sees Dean is back, they started talking about Jack again...

SAM: How was it? Uh, Jody told me about Missouri.

DEAN: Yeah, just another day at the office. How’s the kid? He go dark side yet?

Dean talks about Missouri here with apathy, emotionlessly. This is part of his depression. Then, Sam confronts him.

SAM: No, Dean. He’s messed up because of you. Dean, you said you’d kill him.

DEAN: It wasn’t exactly like that.

SAM: Then how exactly was it?

DEAN: I told him the truth. See, you think you can use this freak but I know how this ends and it ends bad.

SAM: I didn’t.

DEAN: What?

SAM: I didn’t ‘end bad’. When I was the freak, when I was drinking demon blood.

Sam sees himself in Jack in the good way, with hopes, but Dean sees himself in Jack as something that needs to be killed...

DEAN: Come on man, that’s totally different.

SAM: Was it? Because you could’ve put a bullet in me. Dad told you to put a bullet in me, but you didn’t! You saved me! So help me save him!

DEAN: You deserved to be saved, he doesn’t!

SAM: Yes he does, Dean, of course he does!

I will stop here, Dean reflecting himself in Jack is blatant here: HE DOESN'T DESERVE TO BE SAVED. Is the self knowledge of his inner GUILT and MONSTER. Dean sees himself as a monster that doesn't deserve to be saved.

DEAN: Look, I know you think that you can use him as some sort of an interdimensional can-opener and that’s fine, but don’t act like you care about him! Because you only care about what he can do for you! So if you want to pretend, that’s fine! But me? I can hardly look at the kid! Because when I do all I see is everybody we’ve lost!

(Gif credit @foxthefanboi )

Here, my mind went immediately at the scene from previous episode, because Jack behaves so like CAS, and Dean can see it. The pain in Dean's face is getting louder and louder, his eyes, the way he is talking, with cathartic anger will reach the high point when he starts mention the most important person he lost in his life... Castiel. All his pain and anger are because Castiel is gone.

SAM: Mom chose to take that shot at Lucifer. That is not on Jack!

But is not about mom...

DEAN: And what about Cas?

SAM: What about Cas?

Now, the pain and the anger are released in front of his brother. And Sam just confirms and faces it in silence.

DEAN: He manipulated him, he made him promises, said, ‘paradise on earth’ and Cas bought it and you know what that got him? It got him dead! Now you might be able to forget about that, but I can’t!

(gif set credit @shirtlesssammy )

Sam is silent, he takes every drop of anger and pain from his brother, the very cause of Dean's grief is revealed to him. Dean is mourning Castiel. Dean can't forget CAS is dead. Dean can't forgive Jack, himself , for that. That's why. That's the truth. That's why Sam keeps silent.

But the kid is listening...

The grief and the longing is so huge, Jack is able to reach Castiel in the Empty through it. Just like Amara reached Dean through Castiel.

(Gif set credit @shirtlesssammy)

To Conclude:

These two episode showed us how Dean reflects himself in Jack.The guilt and the pain, together with the anger is so huge in Dean's heart, he can't barely hide it.

Sam is the one keeping the flag up for hopes, but Dean had lost everything.

The profound bond is important again now, because is the way Jack reacher CAS in the Empty and wake him up.

Hope you like this meta, see you in the next one!

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weird-dorky-little-d @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@destielle @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel @2musiclover2 @madronasky @anon-non2 @cea1996 @lisafu02 @asphodelesauvage @destiels-canonahhhhhhhhhh

If you want to be added or removed from this list, just let me know.

If you wanna read my previous meta from season 13 go to this link.

Buenos Aires, December 27th 2020, 12:45 PM

[katsidhe]

7.02 final thoughts? (Idk if this one has been requested yet)

7.02 Final Thoughts

*rubs hands* Ah, yes, the episode that got me into SPN. I could talk forever about season 7. 

Fun drinking game: take a shot every time someone makes a different colorful idiom about Sam being insane. Hint: you’ll die, because I counted 25.

(I WONDER WHY Sam didn’t want to tell Bobby or Dean about his active symptoms of psychosis. Truly, a mystery for the ages.)

Even setting Hallucifer aside, this episode highlights so many of the things I high-key LOVE about season 7: the erosion of Sam and Dean’s support network (as tenuous as that already was)—take away Bobby’s house, take away angelic healing, take away the Impala, make them vulnerable and alone and crumbling under the weight of the trauma they’ve accumulated. The broken leg, Sam’s head injury and seizure in the ambulance? Strapped down, badly injured, the fates of their friends uncertain, headed into the belly of the beast? ICONIC. Over the top. Amazing.

It’s a similar kinda thing to Jody’s predicament—sure, she’s capable enough ordinarily, but if you give her surgery and drug her and leave her alone in a hospital with a liver-eating monster on the prowl, the stakes look a lot different, don’t they? I’ve seen this episode approximately one gazillion times but every time I get tense for her.

Quick thoughts on the Leviathans, which have a reputation as an underwhelming SPN villain. Perhaps because of how unsubtle and half-baked they are as metaphor for corporate greed/capitalistic consumption, perhaps because of how their promise of truly terrifying Old Ones, Cthulu-esque devourers, never quite came true (except for a bit in 7.01 and 7.02, yikes!). But honestly I’ve always liked them—I like how their organization and assimilation of knowledge drives the Winchesters deeper underground than even the Apocalypse did; I like how they made the Winchesters’ entire world into something mundanely unsafe and miserable; I like how they showcase the horror of a enemy composed of lockstep drones, the way that Heaven (and Hell, sometimes) tries to be, but never truly manages; I like Dick Roman’s gleeful ravenousness; I like their spooky mouths; hell, I even like the Dick jokes. 

Bobby’s solicitousness towards Dean, and how awkwardly he talks to Sam a little later in the episode, is very emblematic of how bone-deep uncomfortable he is around an honest-to-God mental illness, and, well, around Sam’s issues in general. Which doesn’t make him a bad person, or unsupportive, necessarily. But it’s very evident that he’s got no clue what to say to Sam or how to handle him, that he’s leagues more comfortable dealing with Dean’s problems (as has often been the case regardless of Sam’s mental health).

A related, but separate point: the lengths the show goes to to emphasize “look, Dean’s not okay,” while Sam’s in the middle of a psychotic break… It baffles me a little every time I see this episode, when Bobby walks away from Sam all “yyyyeah I gotta go do some work” and then is immediately all “ok but Dean, how are YOU feeling?” It’d be one thing if Dean weren’t emotionally demonstrative, and if Sam were—if Sam, at this point in the episode, was so obviously struggling to such a painful degree that Bobby wants to make sure Dean’s not overlooking his own reactions. But that’s not really the case. Apart from some flinching, Sam’s been very matter-of-fact about the whole thing so far.

This is our first deep-dive into Sam post-Cage, a full season about he returned. And I love it to pieces, you guys. I love how these inescapable, soul-deep consequences are the inevitable answer to the moral of Sam’s story, where he interred himself with his worst nightmare, forever.

Dean after Hell is clawing for moral high ground. Dean focuses on this bleak kind of virtue, this idea of martyrdom and righteous struggle that eventually unspools and reveals itself to be fundamentally unmoored. He needs some kind of redemption for himself after what he was forced to do in Hell; he needs to own his destiny, and he needs that destiny to be meaningful and good, and he channels his violence outward in that cause.  

Sam does not take any kind of high ground. He hurts... himself. He gnaws inward. No illusions about how “messed up” he is—he sidelines himself before Dean or Bobby can say a single word; he figures he needs to be on top of it, needs to get out ahead of the danger he could represent and reassure his family that he knows he’s a hazard. Sam has learned to repress and downplay and hide his traumas and his freakishness both to avoid feeling stigmatized and to avoid being a burden on the people he loves, especially on his brother. So when Dean reacts with fear (understandable) and anger (less so), Sam takes it in stride.

Hallucifer is probably my favorite thing this show has ever done. I could probably write another thousand words on Hallucifer alone—on how Sam’s using this face for coping, for compartmentalizing; both to hurt himself and to keep himself company, to sort through his pain and arrive at a place where it’s at all tenable for him to exist. 

Sam’s skepticism about professional mental health treatment—his idea that this is a problem he can handle himself, that a doctor would "just stuff [him] full of pills”—is clearly one born of the family mold. This is his dismissive response to Hallucifer!Dean’s accusation that Sam won’t be able to cut it on his own. This denial, this idea that Sam knows he needs to get a handle on this, and therefore that he MUST do it himself, make a science of it, is fascinating. 

On the subject of denial: Hallucifer poses a simple question to Sam: are you sure you got out? And Sam’s NOT sure. Faith that he’s free is yet another maybe-lie that Sam must tell himself with maniacal intensity this season, for the sake of his own sanity, to avoid the voice in his head telling him to shoot himself. 

That Scene in the warehouse. Dean’s advice to Sam is to trust in Dean as the cornerstone of his reality. Asks him to build his whole world on his trust in Dean. What choice does Sam have? Who else can Sam rely on? What else can he do? There is no one else, nothing else. There’s only Dean, or Lucifer. It’s a dichotomy. It’s so CHILLING.

Especially in the context of what we know comes next—7.03, where Dean lies to Sam’s face, murders Amy, and uses Sam’s ~insanity~ to defuse Sam’s (justified) anger. And then, season 8, and 9, and 10, and, y’know what, the entire show. 

Sam drives his thumb into his bleeding hand, and it’s SPN in a nutshell—forever choosing the claustrophobia of the path of slightly less resistance, forever clinging to the misery of a life that’s only just this side of bearable, burying yourself in the toxic fallout because the alternative is unimaginably nightmarish—using the trappings of free will, of defiance, to choose to claw holes in yourself so that someone else won’t. There is no escape.

Dean’s threat of murder-suicide on the phone is so clearly meant to be sympathetic. And yes, on a certain level it absolutely is; and then on another level, it’s, y’know, MURDER-suicide, where Dean’s taking explicit responsibility for and ownership of Sam’s life, even though Sam’s pretty clearly lucid. Dean’s assuming as a matter of course his ability and right to make that decision for Sam. How Dean views and deals with Sam’s instability in season 7 lays major groundwork for Dean’s willingness to let in Gadreel in 9.01.

[pointlesstrashyexistence]

I know other people have said it in better words but I really don’t understand how that finale was good. Ok bear with me. Yes I’m a destiel shipper but Cas not being in the episode and the confession not being acknowledged in any way aren’t even in my top 5 reasons for what I hate about the finale. I don’t even know if they’d make it into my top 10.

We had a bunch of episodes before the extended break due to Covid happened where Sam kept having dreams of Chuck’s ideas for how Sam and Dean die, usually by one killing the other, in other universes. And then in the episode with Becky, she talks about how sad and hopeless the ending Chuck writes is and there is this positive light put on how in her own fanfics, Sam and Dean are often just at the bunker doing regular things like bonding while folding laundry. And in the end, Dean dies and Sam lives the rest of his life with this deep sense of unhappiness without any of the other hunters and friends he’s made in the last few years that could help him and provide him some kind of emotional support. He’s just kind of going through the motions before he dies it seems like. And Dean just dies and goes to heaven and basically waits for Sam to die and show up. And as someone who, while I’ve never attempted suicide, became very depressed from around middle school because of constantly being in a space where I was told my sexuality meant I was going to Hell and wondered if maybe the only way I could escape that deep unhappiness and loneliness I was feeling was in death? The idea that death is the only release and the only time where you can achieve true happiness is horrifying.

Dean has always had scenes, even episodes built around him wanting to live some kind of apple-pie life and believing it’s something he can never have. Dean has always tried to provide for Sam and make sure Sam has what he never could, including Sam having an apple pie life. Dean always believed he was going to die young and while on some level some of that had to do with him being a hunter, it also had to do with his own issues of self worth. Why couldn’t Dean realize and accept that after all the horror and bullshit he’s dealt with, he does want to grow old and live an apple pie life and be happy and be better? Why couldn’t Dean have some version of an apple pie life? Not even with Cas, just some version? I don’t think anyone would’ve like Dean having a blurry wife, but Dean just owning a bar that becomes the Roadhouse 2.0 where he gets to see the Wayward Sisters and AU Bobby and AU Charlie every few weeks? Why couldn’t Dean examine why he’s become an increasingly worse person and realize he needs help? That would’ve been nice.

Sam seems to want it at first only because he wants to be normal and then realizes that not only is he really good at hunting, but he actually enjoys it, maybe even more than Dean, and he steps into this leadership position later. He still wants a relationship (I will never forget you Eileen. You are an awesome character and its horrible that when very little deaf and hard of hearing representation exists and you were shown as not only a serious love interest but an amazing independent hunter who realizes her revenge won’t bring her happiness and continues to find her happiness after revenge only to be brushed aside and ignored). However, it seems like if he did it would’ve been way more integrated into his hunting life. Because having a family and hunting aren’t mutually exclusive. Bobby and Karen would’ve had children but couldn’t. Jo lived a happy loving childhood with Ellen and her father until John used her father as bait, and Ellen continued to love Jo and tried to get her to leave hunting for her safety. Jody takes care of 3 teenage girls who are either active hunters or want to be involved in some way. Why couldn’t Sam be a leader and in a relationship? Why couldn’t Sam have a wife and child like he wanted, except him having a family is not because he’s chasing a sense of normalcy but because he actually wants one?

These were things the two of them wanted but doubted they could have. In a world where a god is no longer controlling you, a conventionally attractive middle aged white man with access to large amounts of money and many issues they want to work through but haven’t been able to because of multiple apocalypses, what else do you have stopping you from pursuing the things you want other than yourself?

Now I know there are a lot of fans who didn’t like that the show centered less on Sam and Dean’s relationship. Yes, the show, at least in the first 5 seasons, was exclusively centered around Sam and Dean. The last 5 haven’t been though. Yes, the show went through many different directors in the 10 seasons after it was originally supposed to end and that is why. The last 5 seasons still have Sam and Dean’s family slowly extending, even when they seem to become shittier people. I’m not saying the last episode shouldn’t have focused on Sam and Dean’s relationship because that was the original centerpiece of the show and remained one of the key features. But why did it seem like they could only be happy when they were dead in heaven even when the two of them still have things they need to work out.

Even if the last episode wanted to exclusively focus on the two of them, why couldn’t we see them actually have a time where they’re alive and doing this? Supernatural starts as a show with two fucked up brothers and ends with those same brothers killing the god they realize has orchestrated almost every aspect of their and are now trying to learn what a life free of control means. Why couldn’t the last episode have them actually sit down and reflect on the people they’ve lost throughout their 15 years together? Why not have them discuss how horrible they’ve been to each other over those years, keeping secrets, gaslighting each other, intentionally doing things to harm each other, and deciding to end the cycle of trauma from both sides of their family by seeking help or maybe indefinitely separating themselves, realizing that they have the ability to bring out the best and worst in each other?

I would prefer much happier endings, but if we were continuing with the idea of kind of a return to the beginning, of bringing Supernatural back to its grassroots as a show about two brothers, why not have the show that started by their reunion end with their separation? It still pulls at the heartstrings, it still hits the notes it needs to, it’s hopeful, it focuses on Sam and Dean, and it ends with them recognizing that as much as they love each other, they have an unstable unhealthy relationship and without a god pulling the strings it is now up to them to decide if they want to leave this relationship to grow mentally and emotionally and seek out the help the other can’t provide. The last season was all about them trying to take control over their lives back, so show what happens when they actually have full control and deny the audience access to what they then do with the rest of their lives because they refuse to be seen as entertainment.

[nellie-elizabeth]

okay, bear with me because this is kind of an unhinged ramble, but one of the things that’s sort of been driving me bonkers in the back of my head is that the finale was terrible... but that I honestly think it would have been quite easy to change just a few little things to make it... well, maybe not good, but certainly less rage-inducing. I don’t think any version of the story as presented to us would have left me thrilled by this ending, but I can actually think of a few very easy changes that would have had me walking away maybe a little irked, certainly disappointed in what we didn’t get to see, but ultimately more at peace.

Let’s pretend this is a world in which they couldn’t/didn’t want to have Misha in the finale, couldn’t get a big ol’ group of returning stars... and we basically had to work with a bare-bones structure like what we saw in the finale. So this isn’t pie-in-the-sky, what I would do if I could have what I wanted... This is down to earth, pragmatic, simple things they could have done to make it better, if we’re constrained to the basic shell we were provided.

Ready?

1) This is the big one: flip around the "Sam’s domestic life with his son” montage so that it starts BEFORE the vampire case and Dean’s death.

So basically, the montage at the beginning, we see the boys living normally in the bunker. We get the pie scene (which I’ll touch on in a second). But then, instead of segueing straight into the hunt where Dean dies, we see a flash of the next 5 to 10 years of their lives. We see them living in the bunker, but it gets slowly more homey, more lived-in. Vitally, for Dean’s character specifically, we see hints of him picking up new hobbies, maybe he’s playing the guitar, we see him in the kitchen, maybe he’s playing D&D, I don’t know. Something to show that Dean is living life and enjoying it, getting to find out who he is without the weight of the world on his shoulders. He’s not totally settled, you get the sense that the lingering sadness of his losses, the trauma of his life, is always going to weigh on him... but he’s doing what he can to enjoy the little things, and he’s taking pride in his continued work as a hunter.

Eileen moves in, and if we can’t see the actress, fine, we can have Sam saying “Eileen called, she’s getting home late, we should start dinner” or whatever. It’s implied that the three of them are living there together. We see that Sam has a son, we see that Dean is an active part of the kid’s life, a great uncle, totally spoiling his nephew. Maybe we see shots of Sam and Dean on other hunts, we have phone calls, mentions like “hey, Jody has a lead” or “Charlie called, she wants us to back her up on xyz.” Basically, through a montage or through a short sequence of scenes, we see that Sam and Dean have continued on, life as usual... but there’s a peace to it now without big cosmic forces standing in their way. Maybe Sam and Eileen semi-retire and move out into the suburbs, and we get shots of Dean-as-the-new-Bobby, a role I always imagined for Sam, but it works for Dean, too.... the bunker is central station, he’s coordinating things, he’s finding new skills within the life of hunting, he’s mentoring people and still getting to save people and hunt things.

And then, Sam and Dean, who don’t always hunt together anymore as Dean often goes off with other hunters, and Sam and Eileen are less active in the field now that they have a kid, decide to take a case together, just a routine hunt. Cue Dean getting impaled on a nail (or maybe he dies in a less awkward way so he doesn’t have to lean against a wall and make his big death scene looking completely unhurt? Which I thought was really strange).

But basically, we could have a version of the death scene as stands. I do not hate the idea of Dean dying in a relatively “mundane” way... literally just the idea that he lived for a handful of years after defeating Chuck makes the idea of his death SO much less empty and devastating for me, because this time Dean didn’t get cut down before he got to enjoy his life at all. It’s still sad that he’s dying younger than he should have, but he died doing a thing that he loved, he found love in the hunting lifestyle without the pressure of other’s expectations, and we got to SEE that, we got to see him making it his own, and making it just one important slice in a more robust and happy life.

Vitally, instead of saying “it’s always been you and me” during the goodbye speech, and making it all about how Sam is the center of Dean’s world, it would be framed more like “I’ll be okay, Sammy, and so will you... go home to your family, to our family, tell the kid to be good, but not too good, okay? And I’ll go be with our family that’s already passed on... we’ll see each other again. We’ve got Jack looking after us.” When Sam says “I can’t do this alone,” Dean doesn’t answer “yes you can...” Instead he says “you’re not alone, Sam.” Because he’s not. He has a family already at this point, and Dean is his family, but he’s not the only person left in Sam’s world that he loves. Dean can still say he was scared to get Sam at Stanford, that he didn’t know what he’d have done without Sam... but he’s so glad they got to be family, got to share so many amazing years, got to be best friends and be there for each other through so much craziness. This time, Sam’s “don’t leave me” isn’t quite as soul-renderingly tragic, because Sam has a wife and a kid already. The death scene would emphasize the tragedy of this separation, but acknowledges that they’ve grown to have more to live for outside of each other.

Then, we see more of Sam growing old, but he seems less utterly miserable, had more years with his brother before the end, knows that Dean got to be a part of his kid’s life, and feels confident that Dean is at peace and that he’ll see him eventually.

2) The second change is even more simple, it’s literally just adding in a couple extra lines of dialogue to... fix the Castiel situation a bit. So. Ahem. Again, this is imagining a world where Misha can’t be in the episode, where we’re keeping the basic structure. There are just two small changes that fix this, for me.

One, before the montage and Sam having a kid and all that, at the pie festival scene at the beginning... when Sam says “I miss Cas and Jack,” we get a slightly more robust response from Dean. He talks about how they fought so hard to break free of their unhealthy cycles, to escape the influence of fate, and that as much as he wants Cas back, he can’t risk making things worse again and betraying Cas’ sacrifice... but THEN, IMPORTANTLY, he says “Jack’s gonna be hand’s-off, but we know he’ll look after Cas no matter what.” This could be just a faith thing, or if we’re allowed to stretch back into 15x19 and fix that too, Jack could even say that as part of his goodbye, like, “I’ll make sure Cas is at peace.” So now, even though it’s annoying that Dean isn’t rushing to rescue Cas from the Empty, it could be more akin to the later decision when Dean tells Sam not to try and bring him back. Sam knows Dean is going to a peaceful afterlife when he dies, and Dean and Sam let Cas go because they know he’s safe with Jack and also given his rest/peace. (Instead of what we got, which was just... they knew Cas was in the Empty and didn’t even bother checking if Jack would like... handle that?)

Second, when Dean goes to Heaven, at least having lived a decade or so of the life that Cas sacrificed himself to provide for him, he sees Bobby, Bobby gives him the spiel, says that Jack and Cas helped make Heaven better (in this version, Dean would be less surprised by this; he would have known even as he was dying that Jack was going to look out for him and all of the other deceased souls). And then Bobby says, “what do you want to do?” and Dean says “I want to see my family... gotta get some good quality time in before Sam shows up and hogs all the attention.” So it’s like a balance of the fact that he’s waiting for Sam and can’t wait to see him again, but it’s implied that he goes and hangs out with his mom (and dad, ugh, John is the WORST, but maybe he went through The Good Place afterlife and he’s learned to be a good person lol), with Bobby, with Cas, and even with Jack, maybe, as perhaps the new God doesn’t mind chillin’ with the already-dead humans, or at least the ones who raised him.

It would be dealer’s choice as to how Destiel-ish Dean’s final line here could be... he could say the thing about waiting for Sam but going to reunite with his family, first, and throw in something about “there’s a conversation with someone that I really need to finish.” Something vague enough that the homophobes would let it fucking air on TV, but promising enough to put a smile on at least some people’s faces.

Then, instead of the montage being just Dean driving around, we get something a little different, but still very simple. We see Dean maybe hanging out in a house in Heaven, playing with Miracle the dog, maybe a callback to a hobby we saw him have on Earth, playing music or cooking, implying a full afterlife even if we don’t get to see the other people... he’s setting a table for like a dozen people who are coming over soon for dinner, or he’s shouting out “hurry up, my parents are hosting” to an unseen occupant in another room, we see Cas’ trench coat slung over a chair, general signs of habitation and home.

We’re cutting between this Heaven montage of Dean, with the montage of Sam on Earth, growing older (and in my version, someone who knows what they’re doing makes Jared’s wig and age makeup look less like the stuff of nightmares, oh holy hell....). We see Sam letting go, dying of old age, going to his rest...

And in Heaven, Dean suddenly freezes in the middle of playing fetch with the dog, or frying up some bacon for breakfast. He gets a look on his face... a hopeful smile. He’s just realized that Sam is coming. He can sense it. This is what he’s been waiting for, the last thing he needs to make Heaven truly perfect. He gets in the impala (which isn’t literally the spirit of his car, it’s just that everything he loves from Earth gets to be with him in Heaven), and he drives off to the bridge while “Carry On Wayward Son” kicks onto the radio. He gets out of the car, reunites with Sam, says “hey, Sammy. Everyone’s going to be so excited to see you.” They hug, they look out over the bridge... The End.

SO. Just to reiterate, this is NOT my version of what the “perfect” finale would have been. This is more just a way for me to process my feelings about the fact that the episode was pretty much entirely awful in my opinion, and it would have been relatively easy to fix it so that it was only... medium awful. Like, with basically no huge changes, just letting Dean be a part of his nephew’s life, getting to be a part of Sam’s life as Sam started a family, and then still having the poignancy of him dying before his time, but also as a hero, as the best version of the thing he always thought he needed to be but now has chosen to be, has taken ownership and pride in. And then by just buffing up some dialogue in a couple of spots, we could have had an episode that still centered primarily on Sam and Dean, still ended on just the two of them (which, frankly, I’m not mad about, it’s their show, and it has been from day one...), but still honored the message of “family don’t end in blood.” Still honored the idea of found family and community and belonging and living for more than just each other.

And if that’s what I had walked away with... well, I would have had some complaints. But I think the whole thing would have felt a lot less... empty to me. And it would have been doable, within the constraints of COVID, and limited actor availability, etc.

There have been some finales that I’ve hated so truly and thoroughly that there was simply no way to engage with them without it tainting the whole show for me. This finale was so weird, because I feel like just a few band-aids, some punch-ups to the script, would have made me feel SO much better about what we got. They didn’t need to reinvent the wheel with this one. Even given the constraints, they could have been a little more creative, a little more thoughtful, and pissed people off a lot less.

[bambinovak]

Family - Sam Winchester

summary; in which y/n and sam have been through a lot together. they’ve had their ups and downs, more than the average couple. I mean, what average couple has to deal with the devil on more than one occasion in their lifetime and have their lives put in danger almost every single day? but, in the end, they always find a way back to each other; they always find a way back to the love they’ll forever harbour for each other. a wedding!

warnings; none 

word count; 1.3k

Masterlist

YOUR WIDE EYES caught a glimpse of a beaming Mary Winchester, in the long mirror where you were stood on shaky legs, eyeing your hair and makeup one last time before you gave her a giddy smile.

"I'm so nervous," You admitted, pivoting carefully in your heels to face her and capturing your plump bottom lip in between your teeth in an attempt to feel less jittery.

It was your big day, and you had woken up bright and early that morning with the sun's appeasing rays casting warmth across your smooth skin through the window of yours and Sam's bedroom. You had been alone, the two of you keen to at least try and be traditional despite the lives you had led before; the only thing that accompanied your lonesome was the incessant butterflies fluttering in the pit of your stomach.

Your soon-to-be mother-in-law had knocked on your door only ten minutes after you had awoken with a bright smile painted on her features, a bag assumingly full of supplies and beauty products hanging from her shoulder, and your four-year-old daughter sat firmly on her right hip.

"Mummy!" She had squealed in excitement, an ecstatic beam written on her lips as her arms shot out towards you. A glowing grin settled on your delicate features as you carefully took her out of Mary's safe hold, your daughter's little arms wrapping around your neck and squeezing you lightly.

"Hey, baby. Were you good for Nana last night?" Charlie nodded her head, expeditious, but your vibrant and joyous eyes travelled toward Mary to get confirmation instead.

"She was a little angel. As always," Mary gleamed.

"Thank you so much for having her. You're a lifesaver," A chuckle adequate of relief escaped past your lips as you brought her in for a swift side hug with your free arm, before beckoning her to come on in with her utensils and essentials for helping you get ready and achieve bride standard.

Now here she was, admiring her work from earlier on in the morning. Mary shot you a warm smile, her hand coming up to gently tuck a strand of your loosely wavy hair behind your ear and fixing your veil slightly. "I was nervous becoming a Winchester too. Don't worry, the legacy and reputation that the name brings might not be ideal, you knew that already, but Sam loves you with all his heart." She spoke softly, her voice calming like the sound of gentle waves bumping into the rocks on a summer's day. "Besides, even though you look breathtakingly beautiful, you could walk down that isle in sweatpants and Sam would still think you're the most gorgeous woman out there. He adores you, (Y/N). You and little Charlie."

A slight hue of pink tainted your cheeks at her kind words and a soft, gracious smile tugged at your lips and you clasped her hands in yours lightly, "Thank you, Mary, really. For everything."

A gentle rap of knuckles at the polished, white door interrupted the soft chatter and you glanced over your shoulder at the entrance, letting out a polite, "Come in!"

The door open slowly and a pair of forest green eyes captured your gaze as Dean popped his head around the wood, a bright smile adorning his features when he caught sight of you for the first time that day. "Hey! You look amazing, (Y/N/N)." He called cheerfully, letting his feet carry him towards where you and his mum stood and briefly pulling you into his brotherly arms and then his mother before continuing, "It's almost time. You ready?"

Mary squeezed your hand lightly, letting you know that she was going to leave you and Dean to go and find her seat in the ceremonial hall along with the other guests. Not that there were many guests; you and Sam had both happily agreed on a traditional, but small in numbers, kind of wedding. You mouthed another 'thank you' to her, shooting her another appreciative smile just after as she made her exit.

Turning to the side, you cast one last look at yourself in the reflective surface of the mirror, a shaky breath escaping your lungs as you delicately ran your fingertips over the intricate details of lace covering the upper half of your dress. The dress itself was beautiful, the long sleeves of lace and the ever so slight poof of the skirt making you feel the prettiest you ever had. You felt like a princess.

Your eyes darted nervously over your appearance: the soft waves in your silky hair, the neutral eye makeup completed with the small, sharp wing of eyeliner, the pale peach of your natural lips covered in a simple gloss, the glittering highlight tainting the tops of your cheekbones which set you aglow, the faint trace of a gleeful smile on your lips. You looked radiant, graceful, elegant. You looked happy.

You lightly clasped your neat bouquet of white, beautiful flowers in your hands, and turned to Dean with a definite nod - the action speaking louder than your shaky words could. "Let's go, m'lady," The older Winchester held his arm, clad in a dark, fitting suit, out toward you with a cheeky grin and you couldn't help but laugh at the over-dramatic gesture - already feeling your nerves slowly dissipating into the light air just by being in the presence of your best friend.

"Why thank you, kind sir," You played along, looping your arm through his with a contented chuckle and then, let him lead you down the hall to where the towering doors stood.

You exhaled another determined breath past your parted lips as you eyed them with glistening, vibrant irises. You could feel Dean's gaze watching you carefully, needing to know when you're good to go so he could give them the quick signal. His eyebrow quirked when you caught your (y/e/c) eyes with his green and shot him a grin, "I'm ready."

Then, the soft mellow music infiltrated your ears, and the doors opened.

–

It seemed like the service had happened weeks ago, when in reality it had only happened a few hours prior.

The events had been playing in a loop in your head all throughout the warm, summer day. From walking down the aisle with Dean next to you, giving you away with a genuine smile painted on his lips at the thought of his brother and his best friend finally tying the knot.

And your little Charlie, skipping down the aisle in front of you, excitedly throwing the petals that filled her small, white wicker basket into the air and watching them fall and land faintly on the ground with a bright smile painting her delicate, rosy features.

And reaching the end of the aisle to meet your soon-to-be-husband, eyes teary and smiles wider than the two of you both thought you could ever smile. The vows that ensured a couple of heavy tears adequate with happiness to tip over your waterline and tumble down your cheeks; Jody made sure to come up to you afterwards and touch up your makeup for you just before the photos. Even your husband had to sniffle lightly in an attempt to conceal his emotions as he gently pushed the sparkling band of love onto your ring finger and vice versa.

"I love you," Sam had mumbled against your soft lips, and you both couldn't help but smile blissfully into the swift but passionate kiss. Your heart swelled in your chest as the syllables rang in your ears like bells chiming; you repeated the term of endearment with an utterly elated giggle before pulling away gradually and soaking in the people - your friends, your family, the people you loved - clapping and smiling toward you and the youngest Winchester.

Charlie had then ran up on her little legs to the front of the room as everyone began to chat happily among themselves and take photos, "Mummy! Daddy!" Her arms held up and a grin etched to her lips as Sam easily scooped her up into his warm hold - Dean, Cas, Jack and everyone who made your life worth living, looking at the scene with full hearts.

This is your family.

[unkemptcastiel]

SPN Finale

I try to limit w/ank on this blog so in the midst of reblogging posts that share my discontentment for the series ending, I don't want to end this show on sole negativity, because it means so much to me. So I'm gonna sum up my feelings on the ending, good and bad. Then I’m going to try to focus on having fun, reblogging memes and reliving good memories with the show and the fandom. 

Good:

As far as the show has communicated, everyone is happy. Dean, Sam, Bobby, Rufus, John & Mary, Cas, all apparently happy. Yay!

I like that heaven's walls were taken down. That's something that never felt right to me and seemed indicative of heaven's problems in general- like the fact that everything was so harshly ordered to the point of isolating humans in farces of happiness-bubbles of recreated memories, that all just felt a bit fake and like a symptom of the larger problem of how angels viewed and treated humans. So I'm happy they changed that! :)

I like Betty as new Death.

OH I also liked the brief re-intro of the two archangels. It may have been a little wasted, (but this is the positivity section!) but it was a dynamic I wanted to see for ages. Also lucifer calling michael a cuck: Amazing.

I'm glad Jack didn't die. He's my son and I love him.

Also the thing with the dog & chuck.. pure comedy gold. Amazing.

Confusing:

I'm a little confused what happens to the dimensional "repeat" characters, like.. are there two bobby's chilling next door to each other in heaven, of bobby and apocalypse-world bobby? It's not a huge issue it just wasn't really addressed.

I'm also wondering if angels are basically extinct now? Like Cas is apparently ok but last we heard there were like 7 whole angels left. How's that goin. Hello?

I'm assuming hell is operating per usual? It's been a while since we've seen Rowena but I think she's still running things. A little unsure of where the balance lies between heaven and hell just due to how decimated the angels are.

I'm assuming Jody, and Alex, and Claire and all them are good? Would've liked a check-in of some sort on the recurring characters tbh. There was a lot of me and my friend asking "... So what happened to them?" about side characters who we never really got any goodbye for.

Also same with Amara being kinda written off.

Speaking of, was the woman Sam ended up with Eileen?? It was unclear to me. If not, I wish they would've mentioned her; she's a character I care about a lot.

Bad (Let’s say “Critique”):

The shows writing has dipped each season imo, and this season often felt particularly hollow. I'm not quite sure how to better communicate it beyond... The way it was shot, the dialogue, every behind-the-scenes choice just felt... Off. It was very off-putting, all season for me.

The "Destiel" thing: I’m sorry, it still felt queerbaiting. I'm queer myself but I've never personally really shipped destiel, nor any ship amongst the main trio. So, while not being very invested in a romantic form of Dean+Cas's relationship, I still felt that the confession was used more as a last-minute ploy to attract queer fans who may have since left the show, or in some attempt to make everyone happy, make it ambiguous so both queer and het fans wouldn't feel like their understanding of dean & cas was infringed on. I understand that, from a show-ending perspective, especially from a show that owes so much to its fans, that they'd want to please everybody. Unfortunately, queer representation is still lacking enough that anything outside of clear, unambiguous GAY that no one could argue is anything else, is still sort of regressive and potentially harmful to the LGBTQ+ community. So it ended up feeling like a throw-away, last-minute-gays but still semi-hetero cop-out situation, sadly. (I also think the release of the script was very deliberate in stressing that Dean cannot reciprocate whatever feelings Cas has. It communicated to me "MAYBE a non-human character could be ambiguously-maybe-queer but one of the two leads? Absolutely not.")

On that note --perhaps as a result of the confession scene-- the boys' relationship with Cas felt really weird in the end. For someone they've known and fought with for 12 years, the idea that they wouldn't even look for a way to save him ... It felt OOC, painting Dean and Sam as kind of heartless. I also feel that having Cas saved off-screen and never reappearing on-screen was generally.. a little disrespectful to Misha. His performance of Castiel literally changed the show for the rest of its run (if you're unaware, he was supposed to have a few episodes in s4 and that's it. His performance floored fans so much that he was signed on as a recurring character and eventual series main). So treating him as an afterthought felt callous, both in-show-universe and out here in the real world, show business-wise.

I don't care that Dean was killed by "a nail." I don't care lol. As long as the character didn't die of dysentery or something it doesn't read as stupid or humiliating, imo. I saw it and was like "ye shit happens." And Sam left to live a normal life- Good! My boy’s happy. 

My primary issue with how Dean & Sam's lives and deaths went was this:

They make the entire show seem pointless.

To explain: the way that Sam and Dean's lives were going before the events of the pilot were: Dean is hunting primarily on his own, Sam is lined up to live a normal and happy life and eventually start a family of his own. It is discussed many times early-seasons that Dean expects to die early, due to the dangers of hunting, even though it is revealed that he also deeply wants a safe and happy life, he feels it is unattainable. Sam loves his family, but just wants out, and is getting to have that. 

Usually in fiction, if an arc is set up then change is to occur to resolve the arc in a new and hopefully better place than it was originally. 15x20 however, looked at s1 Dean and Sam and said "Yep you guessed it exactly right." In-universe, their lives were on these paths once Sam left and went to college, which was a pre-pilot event. The "inciting incident" of the show, which acts as the pilot and which causes the rest of the show to happen in the first place, is Sam leaving his path for normality and returning to hunting. By ending this show with Dean dying on a hunt like he always expected, and Sam leaving to live a normal life with a family like he always originally planned: this arc is negated. We’re basically put right back in a pre-pilot spn world.

This ending was all already lined up to happen pre-pilot. This was ALREADY going to be their lives before the show ever started in 2005-- as a result, the show's events were just a bunch of messiness and conflict in the middle; but spn still ended for the boys the way it would have if basically all the events of the show 2005-2020 just never happened.

So it makes the show seem superfluous, and to me as a viewer it felt insulting because it felt like we ended right where we started, or we went backwards, and it implied that it was a waste of time to even watch the show if it was always going to end the same no matter what events transpired in between. THAT'S what upset me by this ending.

tl;dr: The show's writing felt rushed, confused, and emotionally hollow. As such, we didn't get to see much on the many side characters we care about, which was disappointing. The disappearance of Cas made him seem insignificant and the way each brother's life went was exactly as they were going before the events of the pilot, thus their lives were filled with extra needless pain and turmoil before ending the way they always expected, making the entirety of the show's events and its existence seem useless. Because I loved these characters and invested near a decade into them, this feels insulting to me on the characters' behalf, and on my own behalf as a viewer. That's my issue with the 15x20 ending.

However, I still take more positivity out of this show as a whole than negativity. I’m grateful it even existed in the first place, and that is what I want to try to focus on. 15x20 is one episode. Are there more episodes I dislike? Sure. But they are still a minority in a show that will hold my love for.. the forseeable future. So to every fan, those who disliked the ending and those who loved it, you’re valid, I’m glad I got to know some of you, & 

[mercurialkitty]

OK folks, I had the most scathingly brilliant brain flash listening to Hey, Mickey! in the car. Destiel high school AU, but it’s male cheerleader!cas and quarterback!dean.

So Castiel is a math nerd, but one who hit puberty and came out the other side with surprising strength, big biceps, thic thighs, and somehow the perfect body for making amazing basket tosses. After he’s recruited by cheer coach Jody Mills, the female cheerleaders are amazed at how fabulous he makes them look in partner stunts. Head cheerleader April, is like “mine bitches” and practically glues herself to Castiel. The whole school thinks that Castiel and April are a couple/match made in heaven which she plays up. Of course the cheer team, including April herself, knows he’s not that into her, but nobody rocks the boat. Cas goes along with it ‘cause 1) April is a force of nature who is intent on getting the team to nationals her senior year, 2) he’s not interested in anybody else anyway, 3) it is kinda nice to be Mr. Popular and nobody rags on him or any of his nerd friends anymore. April is not dumb enough to try to come between him and his friends, and in fact pretty much guarantees Cas’ loyalty by making sure nobody harasses the math team or theater kids. (She’s scary and effective when she wants to be.) His junior year was everything a high school kid should want, and yet Cas feels like he’s missing something, or someone.

The football team had it’s share of recent glory when Michael (Castiel’s older brother who’s now in college) was quarterback. They do have a fabulous defensive line due to Benny and his crew, but their offense kinda sucks right now. Then they go in shock when their current quarterback, Cole, gets seriously injured when he drinks and drives after an end of school party. Coach Singer has his summer full with helping the kids cope, training camp, and settling in his honorary nephews, who are making the move from Lawrence to Sioux Falls. When John Winchester hit bottom, Bobby made sure he got guardianship of Sam and Dean. John was always into football and made sure Dean had an arm. Dean’s knows he’s good, but he’s not into the football scene because of toxic!dad. Bobby gets it and tells him he doesn’t have to try out, and he can have a part-time summer job at the garage he technically co-owns (but doesn’t have time to run) with Rufus, if he wants, since Dean thinks he might want to be a mechanic. But if he wants to meet some of the guys on the team (Bobby thinks the world of Benny and his crew) and see the summer training camp activities he can.

For Chuck knows why, Dean does come for the facilities tour, and lo and behold, who’s on the other side of the weight room but the cheerleaders. Benny who is chill and well-liked  (totally obsessed with his girlfriend Andrea though) tells Dean about how the football team appreciates the cheerleader eye candy during the summer, and he can introduce Dean around. Dean cannot get over the hot guy with the intense blue eyes, and sexy dark hair who’s doing lunges, and thinks maybe spending his summer in the gym and on the field might not be a bad thing after all.

[overhighways]

final spn thoughts

the memes have me rolling with laughter, because after a finale that bad all you can do is laugh but, i also can't stop thinking about the fact that they said the perfect ending for dean, the depressed character who finally became stable and built a found family, was to die without any family or friends around besides his brother that really... was yikes...

so i initially quit the show on the episode that kevin died. i had stuck it out thru so many sexist and/or racist deaths and acts of violence on the show but that was kinda my breaking point. additionally, looking back over my old liveblogs and op eds on tumblr, i was getting really tired of the fact that for the 8 or so years of the shows run the brother's had never grown emotionally, and continued a constant cycle of being dangerously codependent but also continuously lying to each other and hiding things from each other which always resulted in some catastrophe, causing them to come into conflict. it was bad writing and a bummer for someone who liked the universe and the characters but wanted a satisfying change in their state of being from the beginning to the end of the narrative.

for a hot second in college i dropped out, because one semester cos i was just so depressed, and in between bringe drinking and smoking i thought i should watch supernatural but i literally only made it like half a season further then my initaly quitting point before being like "wow this is shit and i feel bad maybe i should stop and get help". so i really hadn't thought of the show except for when i saw a funny meme clowning superwholock for about five years now but then all the posts about 5.18 tricked my gay clown ass into sitting down and marathoning all of the episodes i had missed so i could watch the finale live.

and what i have to say is i know they experienced a couple shifts in show runners and head writers over the past five years so it was still inconsistent in quality (its a CW show so like, who is surprised?), but they actually really broadly improved the show i think. i remember that the first 5 seasons or so were more carefully planned and ben edlund provided so much good writing, that i think when edlund and kripke left the show lost its way for a while, and there were moments that were decent, but when they finally brought cas into the bunker and jack was brought in as a main character it felt like they got back on track. they were able to refocus the show on family while also allowing the dean and sam to grow as people and build a much healthier found family. the three of the boys bring in claire novak as their charge, jodi and her hunter family become regulars; the show kind of felt like it was closer to reaching its potential, like back when we all thought bobby and ellen were gonna be forever main characters, and dean and sam would have a family and semi normal hunter lives. so i kind of felt like sam's arc was mostly complete seasons ago, he was a pretty normal dude who was gonna end up with eileen and that was cute and lovely. but for dean i really think it was more complex and the whole final season being about killing god and truly giving everyone full free will to create any possible future they wanted, was gonna tie in more to dean's struggle to define himself outside of the role of his father's blunt instrument and his brother's protector. but instead they establish this amazing free will for everyone, cas literally dies to give dean the chance to finally be free, and then they wrote a finale that essentially says "free will doesn't exist and you will always be bound to certain expectations". like dean dying on a hunt is fine and arguably in character, but to not include any of the family that he painstakingly learned he could have? bullshit. they just completely disregarded all of the character growth they spent the last five to ten seasons giving us. also i find it nearly impossible to believe that sam would not specifically be searching for eileen after literally killing an entire coven of witches to get a spell to bring her back from the dead, so his weird faceless implied wife was confusingly bad writing as well. and dean not trying to get cas back? the dean winchester who had a complete emotional break down every time he thought he had abandoned cas or failed him or let him die? bullshit. jack not immediately bringing cas back to them? bullshit!!

and it felt like a really odd ending for cas, whose entire character arc has also been about learning how to act of his own free will and not be a mindless soldier of god, to just disappear and be implied to have suddenly returned to being... a mindless soldier of god. like i know its a new and better god who is also his son but like... you are telling me cas was really okay with abandoning his friends on earth and just sitting in heaven doing boring celestial paperwork for eternity? the writers threw away the potential narrative symmetry of having dean pull cas from the empty the way cas pulled him from hell, they threw away the potential symmetry of implying that jack brought cas back and having cas appear in the barn and save dean to mirror his first appearance in the barn where dean summoned him... and okay say misha didn't wanna risk covid and flying back to canada, they threw away the ability to literally just have a prerecorded line where cas found dean in heaven and said his iconic "hello dean" line. idk very bad writing. like obviously i had always assumed that at the very best the sbow would end with sam having the most normal life, and dean kinda fucked up but finding peace and dying on a hunting trip, but the execution sucked.

my final addition is that i have read quite a bit about all the drama behind the scenes but i genuinely cannot forgive the show's head writers and producers for queer baiting their audience like that. it would have been one thing for dean and cas to remain implied, but to confirm offscreen that they were in love and never acted on it, mention it only briefly onscreen before killing off their only on screen confirmed queer leading man, and then never resolve dean's sexuality was... quite hateful. and to know that you won't resolve it, but dangle the possibility of a resolution in the hopes of getting better numbers on your finale is... incredibly hateful. my heart goes out to misha, jensen, and berens who apparently worked very hard to get the little representation viewers were granted, and who subsequently were treated very poorly by the show's main writers and the network.

its been a hell of a 15 years...

[spnreactionblogging]

DESPAIR

SPOILERS BELOW / tw suicide sort of

ah the title really does sum this up. I am filled with such dread going in. I know cas gets sent to super hell, I know the destiel shippers are declaring it canon (but then, when haven't they), and I've heard from a reliable source that the show officially as of just now is queerbaiting for real by making it vague and easy to ignore it instead of actually confirming anything. plus nobody seems to give a fuck about jack, as usual, and sam didn't get to say goodbye? god how can this get better???? I hope buckleming got to fucking murder castiel! that would really improve this for me!!! the cherry on the shit sundae for real so okay here goes. ugh. I have this angel's envy bourbon at 1PM, oops. I feel like I will need it for this one more than the others I also am ensconced in my castiel trenchcoat + "be super good" shirt, and cas, crowley, and sam the q-pals are joining me. dean is banished to remain in the tote bag they live in. god I want to scream. this fucking synopsis "With the plan in full motion, Sam, Dean, Castiel and Jack fight for the good for the common goal." oh the plan to use Jack as a suicide bomb???? great idea. lol I hate this. whose "common good"????????? ah but yes dean runs a dictatorship right. no wonder chuck butts heads with him dean looks so fucking smug in the amazon prime video app, hovering over the episode where cas will die horribly. fuck. there is nothing that can emotionally prepare me for this episode the show is going to end with sam and dean because it started with sam and dean and chuck/the IRL writers are bitter about it I guess??? delete fucking everything god, very fucking cute of dean to be like WE GOTTA DO SOMETHING!!! you fucking piece of shit you forcememed this to go as quickly as possible because you want Jack fucking dead, don't pretend you care god. fuck. jack apologizing for dying, to the empty. I hate everything so much ah, so that's why the opening title screen has been that. gross. horrible. a jack singularity is that it? really? jack's dead? just like that. okay. awful. oh he's MAYBE dead. reassuring. I see that briana buckmaster and jim beaver will be joining us my cat is sitting in front of the TV trying to prevent me from watching this, trying to save me from myself oh and felicia day oh this one's written by robert berens, I mostly trust him I think sam should've photocopied the book first oh hey RSJ directed this one I'm glad to have rachel miner back in any capacity that's... alpha/omega on the side there? makes sense I hope it's a fake book god I love sam sitting on the like. what is that, weird equipment panels? more confirmation sam is queer, you heard it here what leverage does dean even think he has cool jack's just getting tortured now "the boy is still useful" at least billie isn't pretending to care about him. oh she left the book thank fuck cas goes to him right away, please hug this child alcohol is not gonna help you guys sleep oh here's dean's half-assed apology. "sorry not sorry that I just couldn't stop, I couldn't help it, I just wanted to get what I wanted, and now that I didn't get what I wanted, sowwy uwu I guess" "you've snapped me out of worse" yeah don't minimize this, sam oh yeah michael exists. I notice dean refers to him as michael and not including adam. way to go I notice that sam does not drink right away "to somehow" those eggs look great "no guns at the table" is a solid rule not only for how miserable that is, but because everything surrounding firearms is a carcinogen and doesn't need to be near food please love yourself charlie please eat good eggs am I supposed to know stevie, was she part of the alternate universe, I still like never watched most of 10-13 oh we're gonna kill MULTIPLE queer characters in this episode, awesome. we gonna kill charlie AGAIN??????? we brought her back just to kill her off, AGAIN? LIKE KEVIN? and bobby I guess?? can I just say how much I hate the concept of a "final boss fight" like why is it always ending in a fight, why is violence always the answer, and why do we feel like one final violent action will solve all the problems huh charlie's shirt looks like a tycho album cover okay so I didn't forget stevie, she was brand new? maybe? I love cas and jack :( feels strange because this all sucks there's no such thing as destiny, jack don't fucking die for sam and dean and 'the world' damn right, cas, he doesn't need "absolution" well that's true for you, cas, you care because he's him. dean just wants to use him cas and jack are good. charlie this was so not your fault. as usual this is the winchesters' fault. tell 'em charlie!!! get 'em!!! you're not sorry, dean. "What now?" is a huge fucking mood, dean oh, greg! our old friend! greg was a real one (but not anymore) yeah eileen's screwed. this includes sam too. and dean i guess. sam is a good person who cares about people despite dean's best efforts to stop him I can't see who he's texting. are cas and jack in the back? poor eileen :( god poor sam having to basically get eileen in front of eyewitnesses who can attest that she disappeared cas and jack are in the backseat yeah I wish he'd tell her she's never gonna reply now yeah she's gone. interesting use of technology that they couldn't've done earlier in the series, to show she was typing but then stopped god that's awful. fuck. "If I let myself go then I'll lose my mind. I can't, right now." that's a huge fucking mood sam let's just postpone all that grief for later. gotta shove it down. huge fucking mood. god I'm so sorry somewhere central... the... bunker? don't split everyone up dean, fuck yes revenge is definitely the answer. killing things is the answer. "not having a choice" is obviously the answer. you fucker we get a sam and dean hug but where's the one for cas. you can like... see it in sam and jack's eyes that they are worried they're never gonna see them again. I'm horrified that cas isn't getting to say goodbye to jack nor sam. I can't handle this. I guess this scene is where they took that last group photo that misha posted back in march? RIP :( oh hey donna jack, that feeling is TheDepression oh gas-n-sip sam's sweet to try to give jack some autonomy here instead of having him just... being shuffled around like baggage. is that eileen's car then this music is intense don't burn the fucking library also wow dean with the reaper blade again is oof. wow. yikes. dean is become death, destroyer of worlds for real. jesus that is fucking horrifying to see. aren't you, dean? aren't you a bringer of death. remember when you hated doing that back in season... 4? 5? later? dean has learned nothing. sam's been trapped in a silo before hasn't he. or that panic room or something. donna is sweet. jack is good. jack deserves better. sam :( donna is very kind I like hearing jody and garth mentioned even if they're not in this episode (?) oh hey charlie sam at least knows how you feel, charlie I like this set god I've missed jim beaver is jack going around with spraypaint? I'm like oh god there's no ventilation. I guess it's a paint bucket but still the fumes are bad. better than being evaporated though I guess big man on campus. RIP stanford sam at least there's a bucket. praeses magna. "president large"? thinking about how it would be impossible to have extras for episodes 19 and 20 I like watching jack paint RIP that plant. apparently he has his powers dean walks around way too comfortably with the reaper scythe. oh but the plan has changed. did billie leave that book and nobody read it?????? dean you don't have friends, bud. yeah how did you tink you would even stand a chance, dean. this is the worst plan ever I'm so tired of seeing cas get tortured. I don't want to see billie get hurt either. is "billie" actually the empty or something "Has virtutes conliga. Eas integra. Eas firma. Nos omnes serva." = "These virtues bind. Those infected. These are strong. We keep them all." idk google translate, I feel like that may not be "infected" but more like integrity I like the effects they did on the wardings there yeah pretty much you can't stop god oh I'm real sad about that couple who vanished together :( bye charlie bye bobby. :( bye donna??? oh that like gold paint gossamer looking shit going on with billie's arm is cool god I'm glad billie smacked him in the face, dean deserves it. I just rewound it to see dean get clocked again, it's so worth it so they went back to the bunker... for what? billie can just go there. sam and jack are gonna have such a rough fucking day. all those double cheeseburgers are back for revenge on dean billie's right actually. dean always thinks the rules don't apply to him because he thinks he should be making the rules. castiel should be with jack, not with dean. fuck. can't cas still heal people the scythe on the wall is a good visual. I really like lisa berry, she does an amazing job is this the same room with the ma'lak box always happy to bleed for the winchesters. christ. fuck. even with dean's pocketknife. cas I'm so sorry. sweetheart you don't deserve this. 7B? so Jack was trapped in 5B, this is a different room but probably the same actual setpiece just rearranged do you just... have to wait her out yeah yeah dean you suck. correct, you never should've left sam and jack. wow I feel zero sympathy for dean at all. you do it to yourselllllf you do, that's what really hurts. oh baby don't summon the empty please :( I'm so glad to know that cas never told them about how he saved jack, it's none of their business yeah it would be with jack, cas. you should be with him man this is shitty. this is like a bad fanfic for real. wow these shots are like, when it cuts between them it's so obvious these were not the same camera lmao fuck. how many takes was this god i hate dean. he has not done this for love. dean is a spiteful person. "you're the most caring man on earth" literally kill me. I want to die. jesus fuck. i want to be dead this is awful this sucks this actually really hurts. this sucks so much. dean you squandered this angel's life. now jack has no father. i hate you dean winchester. i hate you. you don't deserve cas loving you jack knows, jack can feel it. I hate hate hate hate hate hate that jack is left alone with the winchesters. i hate this. jesus fuck i hate this so much i hate this jack sweetheart I'm so sorry dean you fucking ass please pick up the fucking phone. please answer sam. i hate you god dean i hate you fuck dean you are the worst. fuck my life. fuck all this. fuck this show. i'm so angry castiel deserves so much better than this. fuck i'm so mad. why wasn't his moment of happiness knowing that JACK WASN'T GOING TO DIE. i hate this. I'm so upset. fucking shit-ass writing. and it's still not fucking canon you morons at least uh they don't have to have extras for the last two episodes? did they add that footage after? is that what got changed up? everyone's gone huh. god just. dump the show right into the trash. bye. also for fuck's sake nobody gives a fuck about jack like I didn't even know he survived. nobody cares. "sam didn't get to say goodbye" FUCKING JACK DIDN'T GET TO SAY GOODBYE fuck this so much. fuck, is dean just chuck's OC? made in his image and furious that his mini-me isn't acting the way he wants? is that why he gets exonerated at every turn? "all the evil shit you did is fine dean you're the MOST LOVING AND THE BESTEST EVER!!!" fuuuuuck

[verobatto]

Saileen: the new toy for Chuck

And about how TFW are winning some powerful allies...

Saileen meta. Castiel meta. TFW meta. Chuck meta. 15x08 meta. Our Father Who aren't in Heaven.

Hi my friends! This is my second meta from this epic episode. If you want to read my first meta, the Destiel one, is right here.

Okay, let's start this...

Cas...? Better out!

Okay, did you noticed at the beginning of the episode? We know now Chuck is afraid to something, and that's "his crack", this mention of a crack just recalled me that Cas has a crack in his chasis, si we just need to make the connections to who Chuck fears of...

Okay... This was very visual...

Thanks @agusvedder for all this gifs!! You're amazing!

Okay... Watch this... Whatch how Chuck threw that blue little umbrella that was on top of his drink away from him, with disgust. Like. This no. He doesn't want that blue umbrella there, bothering him while he wants drinking his YELLOW AND RED drink.

You know me... Blue/Cas... Yellow/Sam and Red/toxic Dean.

So evidently, Chuck doesn't want Castiel to be around his plans, because as I said in this meta, he changes the script.

See what Cas had just did... He recruited Michael against him!

And Chuck is out of control, he killing everyone, he's mad and bored.

Then there was that moment when he literally heard the whole intent to read the demon tablet to defeat him.

So, Donnatello is a kind of... Connection between the Divine, the dimensions, and humanity. So, why don't to use him as if he were a hidden mic or something? Then why not to talk through that mic? You know how Donnie is an entire celestial communication technology, right? @emblue-sparks marked this too.

And so clever and thanks Metatron, the one who knew how God worked, he knew God's weakness, and God's madness maybe too... He wrote a few editor's notes, just in case God will go to the bad side...

And the good news are... @weirddorkylittlediana you were right. My friend said to me that episode 14x15 Peace of mind, could be a forshadow of how they could defeat Chuck, by lock-in him out in his own mind.

And now we had the premise from Donatello reading the demon tablet and Michael, God can be locked.

Son.. I think we have the spell... The archangel... We just need a god as powerful as God to do this... Oh! Hello Amara!

I'm just seeing Chuck will be defeated soon I'm next half and then we will have the whole Empty plot in which I expect Dean will rescue Cas. I hope so.

I'm just so curious about God's fears... Is it Cas? Is it Free Will? Is it Amara? Or being locked down for eternity?

If they locked God in his own mind, in his own fake happiness, like Peace of Mind showed us, then..m we could call that an Emotional Prison. Right? I love how every Meta I wrote is confluencing now in this season... *Cries in enochian*.

Your Father, not mine

And this is why I say, Chuck is afraid of Cas.

When Castiel decided to pray to Michael. By the way, it could be taken as a foreshadow for Dean's prayers too, the scene was careful shot so we can see Cas through a circle, as if we were spying him...

Is not us, but Chuck, who's spying what Cas is saying. And also... It was a lot of this kind of shot made by the camera in season 12, 13 and 14. But if you recall in season 12, we had this scene...

So I truly believe Chuck was spotted here too... Spying at these two.

But let's come back to Cas and his prayers...

(thank you Agus for all these gifs!)

Castiel is repeating TWICE: YOUR FATHER, YOUR FATHER. This was very huge, because... Castiel is not recognizing Chuck as his father anymore. He's not. Because he's evil. And he lied. And he's a monster.

But Michael, he knows Michael doesn't know all of this, and because Michael was always the Righteous Son, the favorite, he know he won't do nothing against his father. Because he's the obedient one. So Cas knows he has to dig slowly to get Michael as an ally.

Castiel tries to connect with h, to empathize, talking about Michael's being locked on that cage, talking about heaven, saying he's not his enemy, but Chuck.

Finally, Michael goes to him, and it was very interesting to watch Adam and Michael dynamic. They were friends, partners. Even Adam sounded like Michael's conscience. Trying to make him see the Winchesters's intentions. This reminded me to 12x19: when Castiel talked about Benjamin and his vessel, and how bonded they were, they were more than friends. So, this look similar, is like two persons living in harmony inside of one vessel.

So Adam, acting like Michael's conscience, is trying to show him fathers can make mistakes...

Castiel, the rebellious son, will try to convince him, but now, Adam, is trying to show him he can be a rebellious son too. Just like Dean did with CAS in 4x22.

How the thing ends, and I don't think Chuck likes this or wrote this or expected this... But Castiel prayed to Michael, he brought him to the Winchesters. He talked with him and he showed him the truth. So... Is Chuck afraid of Cas? I truly believe he is more afraid of FREE WILL. And the Winchesters have now this powerful ally from Heaven

Michael, who said that FREE WILL IS AN ILLUSION, is trying to use some now.

Saileen is the new interest of Chuck

I really love seeing Sam worried about Eileen, running after her to help her, and Saileen saying he is overprotective. Gah!!! Amazing! Really...

They are a power couple of strong hunter's, and watching them going that path it makes me happy. Settled down with a hunter. This is how it should be.

I really screamed when I saw Rowena like the Queen of Hell. He wanted the throne and she took it. Because like we were talking with @legendary-destiel , if you want something, you take it, right? Cut frame to CAS. 🤣🤣

But well. The Winchesters had an ally in Hell, a very powerful and Beautiful ally. So, everytime they were asking for something or explaining something bro her, Rowena looked immediately at Sam. She needed his confirmation, because she trusts him, blindly.

And it was hilarious how she asked Sam to fill her glass with whiskey, and they caressed their hands... Okay this one , the healing hand, and the hand by hand side during the spell... Is talking about foreshadow too for our Destiel holding hands... Oh... Where was I? Oh! Right!

So, Chuck named Jody, Donna, and Eileen when he was asking them to drop it, threatening TFW, and then he focused on Eileen. Because they didn't drop it.

He dragged Eileen and consequently, as he knew, Sam with her to his hands. He needs them. He needs them to his purpose, he knows now Eileen is Sam new weakness.

And we are seeing how the toxic codependency between the brothers is dying slowly, just like @espejonight28738 said in her meta. Go to read it here.

To Conclude

This episode showed us how TFW is winning allies in Hell and Heaven to defeat God, they tried the same in season 11 finale episode, using angels, demons and witches.

Castiel is the one who track Michael down and convince him to fight by their side showing him the truth.

Michael, who had said Free Will is an illusion, is experiencing now what free will means.

The dynamic between Adam (vessel) and Michael (Archangel) was very enlightening to understand how two friends can share a vessel. (Calling here @emblue-sparks who wrote a series of metas about this spec).

Saileen is the example of what settled down with a hunter means, is a reflection of what Destiel should ended.

Chuck has a crack in his chasis and is fear, maybe, I suspect, to free will, things that he can't write. Example: Castiel.

I hope you like this meta! See you in my Narrative Meta!

Tagging @metafest @gneisscastiel @emblue-sparks @magnificent-winged-beast @agusvedder @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @trickster-archangel @dea-stiel @mybonsai1976 @anarchiana @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @destielshipper221b @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @feathered-castiel @bre95611 @zoerayne2426 @justmeand-myinsight @that-one-fandom-chick @proccastinate @studio-hatter @pepevons @liwopanyaasss @poorreputation @mrsaquaman187 @staycejo1

Buenos Aires December 13rd 2019 1:49 AM

[destiel-love-forever]

Season 11: What’s worth watching

This is the second of 3 installments (season 10, season 11, season 12) because I think 13 and 14 are worth watching fully **I personally LOVED season 14, I haven’t loved one that much since season 5** && plus, this way you can watch the very final season of Supernatural without being confused!

Thanks to @longkissgoodnightbatmanandtwofac for asking me to do this. I actually really enjoyed it <3

Season 10 HERE

Season 11

Ep. 1 is… eh. I feel like you have to watch it, since it introduces you to ‘The Darkness.’ 

Ep. 2 isn’t worth watching in my opinion. The angels still have Cas/torturing him for info - they say he’s not their brother because he’s always picking the Winchesters over heaven (duh… you’re just now figuring this out??). We meet the new “Death” which is pretty important - her name is Billy, and she has it out for the boys. Promises that the next time they die, she’ll be the one to reap them, and they won’t be coming back. Baby Amara is going crazy/eating souls. They do the angel needle-in-the-head brain hacking thing to Cas, but then he escapes, kills them, goes to the bunker. And Crowley steals Amara to raise as his own. 

Ep. 3 You don’t need to watch this either. Rowena is recruiting witches, Cas is at the bunker still dealing with his curse (boys helping him), they have to keep the poor guy chained up because they can’t control his curse/reactions yet. ** Cas is super adorable all cuddled up in his blanket that Dean’s always wrapping him up with. Amara is a kid now (like 9 or 10ish yo). Crowley is feeding her souls and giving her an education (basically watching hitler speeches and shit like that). Rowena cures Cas. 

The last 5 minutes are worth watching. It’s Dean/Cas. You get some adorableness with Dean cupping sick Cas’ cheek, and some happy feelings with the boys at the bunker. 

Ep. 4 is a MUST WATCH. Shot entirely from Baby’s perspective, and is just overall amazing. 

Ep. 5 I didn’t like this ep. at all. In fact, I don’t even think I watched the entire thing when the season aired. There is a little Ghostfacers reference by the couple that gets killed at the beginning, though, which is cool. Shows at the very end of the episode Amara watching Dean the whole time and she says this creepy, “Bye, Dean. I’ll see you soon.” 

Have I mentioned yet that I hate the darkness/amara? I do. I hate her. 

Ep. 6 Not worth watching either. Amara is still walking around all barefoot and creepy, eating souls. Papa Crowley is mad. Sam wants to bring Cas in to help with the Amara hunt and Dean isn’t happy about it, wants him to get a break since it’s been rough for him lately (awww). Cas has been binge watching TV (he’s watching a show that’s the equivalent of Jerry Springer or Maury, one of those “the results are in and you are the father!” shows). Dean teases him for it and Cas gives him some sass. Dean’s super worried about him. Cas tries to get himself to leave the bunker and gets a huge anxiety attack/flash-backs to when he hurt Dean under the spell, when he killed the angels, then when Dean beat him up and almost killed him when under the influence of the mark of cain, breaks down and can’t leave the bunker. Cas eventually leaves, tracks down Metatron who has been videotaping crap to see to the news. He interrogates Metatron about the darkness. Metatron breaks and tells Cas that God had to give up the only thing he had ever known in order to create the world - his sister, which is Amara. Dean & Sam show up to Crowley’s to kill Amara, Crowley tries killing Dean, Amara stops him. Dean can’t get himself to kill Amara. Amara points it out to Dean. She cups his cheek and is all creepy talking about how linked they are/how neither of them can fight their connection and it’s weird because she’s in a teenaged girls body and just… ew. Ew. Ew. EW. She says she came there to settle a score “the oldest score,” which is obviously talking about god. Oh, and Sam is getting weird visions about Luci in the cage. I know that was a lot of info, but I’m serious, the episode just isn’t worth watching in my opinion. 

Ep. 7 I have to say this is worth watching, because Donna is in it, and who doesn’t love Donna?!? Plus, it’s a good old fashioned hunt, which is so rare in this season. 

Ep. 8 Is a good one too. It’s a flashback episode, which anyone who knows me knows those are some of my fav.’s. Plus, it’s a pretty funny hunting episode. 

Ep. 9 Pretty important episode, so I’d suggest watching it. Big for plot. Amara is killing preachers left and right to piss God off. Sam is convinced talking to Lucifer will help because of his visions he’s been having, so he and Dean go to Crowley to see if they can talk with him somehow (Dean’s obvi not happy bout that). It is kind of entertaining watching Amara with the bible and trying to understand why all these people believe in him/think he’s great/yada yada. 

Ep. 10 Isn’t terrible. A continuation of a lot of the same stuff going on in 9. There’s some great Dean/Cas in this ep. so I’ll give it that. Post whump hurt comfort between the two of them is always my fav. Kind of a cool ep. bcuz it’s Luci and Sam walking through memories. A huge thing happens at the end, too. 

Ep. 11 Not that great of an ep. But it has a character that turns out to be a bit of a fan favorite, so I’d watch it for her (Eilene). Also, Lucifer/Cas is interesting. Misha does a great job there. There’s a bit of character development/insight with Dean, too. 

Ep. 12 This is a MUST SEE. Ep with Jodi, Claire, and Alex. Great dynamic to see. Plus a nice classic hunting ep. And, of course, the awkward family dinner at Jodi’s where the sex talk comes up? That’s just fantastic. Probably the best of the whole damn season. I loved it. 

Ep. 13 Honestly, this is boring as all hell. (in my opinion). I will say there’s a part where the monster shows people their deepest darkest desire, and it appears as Amara. Dean tells that to Sam and is very conflicted/hates it, and Sam points out that Amara is the sister of God, and it’s not Dean’s fault, because she picked him and now he feels these things because of her power. Says Dean can’t be blamed or judged. And he tells Dean that he believes him that Dean doesn’t actually want her, and that he wants her dead, but that Amara is controlling him. Which is like YEEEEEEEEEEEES. Because I hate Amara, AND I hate the whole Amara/Dean weird romance-esque type thing. This is literally the only plot, though. For the whole ep. They talk about this, and then Dean tells Sam Sam has to be the one to kill her when it comes to that because of the control Amara has over him, and Sam promises he’ll handle it. Save yourself 41 minutes and don’t watch it. 

Ep 14 This one is interesting. It has some time travel/Dean sent back to WWII times. Badass woman of letters in this ep that Dean gets to meet. Plus, Lucifer as king of hell is hilarious. Some decent plot going on here too. 

Ep 15 Honestly, I hated this ep. I also hate anything related to WWE and that shit too, though, so I dunno. Maybe you’d like it? It felt extremely pointless. Crowley escapes hell, goes to find a new weapon (Aaron’s rod), but Luci tricked him into thinking he escaped just so he could get ahold of the weapon. But then Crowley tricks Luci back, uses weapon against him. But then runs out of juice, and Luci is able to disappear. So. Basically. All that fucking happens is Crowley gets out of hell. 

Ep 16 This is a cool one because it involves flashbacks from when Bobby and Rufus hunted the same thing. We find out why Rufus gave Bobby that battle of Jack with the note that Jodi and Sam found in that episode from way back when, when they fought the time god. (I wanna say that was s9, but I’m honestly too lazy to look atm) 

Ep 17 This is a good one if you have time/feel like watching. Not really any plot, though. Dean takes some pills and overdoses in order to talk to Billy, and Billy mentions something called ‘The Empty’ that’s waiting for Dean when he dies. Tiny little thing mentioned there. BIG THING way later on in the series. Like… 3ish season from now? Other than that, though… eh. 

Ep 18 This one should be watched. Very plot heavy. If you feel like skipping it, you can read the paragraph below, it’s not vital to watch. Rowena is alive, explains how she survived (a magic thingy). She’s helping heal Amara. Crowley went and got the horn of Joshua for the battle against Amara, says he’ll give it to the boys if they promise to help him exorcise Luci from Cas and put him back in the cage. Luci is up in heaven terrorizing the poor angels. Has decided to become the new ruler up there. Amara attacks heaven with her dark smoke crap. Luci just giggles. Rowena is afraid of Amara/starting to fear her/regretting working with her. Rowena sends the boys a message that she’s alive, they work together to trap Luci. There is a great scene in here (starts around 26 minutes into the ep.) where Dean uses a spell to try to talk to Cas inside Luci. It’s so sad :( && Luci mocks Dean for being so upset/sad. Crowley possesses Cas’ vessel, so then all three of them are in there. There is some adorableness there when Crowley tries to tell Cas to eject Luci and Cas tells him no, but then when Crowley explains that Dean wants him to do it, Cas is like ‘oh, maybe I should then.’ Luci gains control, tries killing Amara with the horn of Joshua, doesn’t work. Like at all. She takes Luci captive and tortures. Dean and Sam agree to go find Cas and bring him home. 

Ep 19 MUST. WATCH. This is the gay hunters ep that got everyone so excited. And for good cause. Who doesn’t love seeing two manly hunters in love with each other, and who doesn’t love seeing Dean’s reaction to that?!?

Ep 20 is a must watch as well. You meet God, which is - ya know - a big fucking deal. It’s also a very entertaining/well-done ep. 

Ep 21 I’d say you have to watch this one too. Dean & Sam meeting God. Or, well, re-meeting him I suppose. There is SO. MUCH. EMOTION. In this ep too. Sam & Dean (even Luci) have so much to address when it comes to God. All of the things they’ve been put through. Their feelings of being betrayed. Abandoned. Especially Dean. Oh, my poor baby Dean. I just… he has such a hard time in this ep, but it’s a great ep. Much needed. Well done. Among other things. I could talk about this ep for a really long time, but I’ll just stop there. Oh, and a new prophet pops up, which is always great. He’s not my favorite (no one can replace Kevin) but he’s fucking hilarious, so that’s nice. 

Ep 22 Have to watch this too. If not for ALL THE PLOT, then for Luci and God going at it. Oh my. Such a great situation (And Misha did so so so well at it). Luci locked in his room listening to loud music like a pouty teenanger. God cooking pancakes and drinking coffee from ‘World’s Greatest Dad’ mug. I mean, Dean and Sam have to do a family therapy session for the two. Who doesn’t want to watch that?!? 

Ep 23 From there, ya might as well finish off the season.