#s15e18

[themanwhowouldbefruit]

[m-artsoul]

01/04/23

despair  the complete loss or absence of hope

reply to be added to the tag list

NOTE: in one of my classes we had to do a presentation about a story so of course i chose to make it about spn. li had to also make a poster but ofc i couldn’t be chill about it. so for anyone interested, here’s the original version:

also a close up:

[icy-watch]

Cake actually sounds really good rn

[spn-caps]

[annmariethrush]

Suptober Day 1: Liminal

On AO3 or after the break

Even after millions of years, Castiel remembers what the world was like in the beginning. He remembers how, before stars, the sky stretched inky black and endless above him; uninterrupted by light or celestial bodies. And the earth, covered entirely in glassy water, spread below him. Smooth and dark, it rippled only when disturbed by the luminous presence of a passing angel; only the faint glow of their true form catching in a gentle shimmer on the wake as they flew by. Most of all, Castiel remembers the peacefulness that came from the darkness surrounding him both above and below. It was spacious but not vacant, like a farm house with vaulted ceilings; quiet but not silent, like a remote meadow with a gentle breeze.

Now Castiel knows what it is like at the end of the world too, at least for him. For all intents and purposes, it is the same as the beginning. Above him is inky black expanse, imperceptibly vast and impossibly dark. Below him, the slightest ripples of dark liquid which emit at his presence. However, it could not feel more different to him. Here the darkness is stifling and intrudes upon him from every direction. Instead of gently floating above deep waters in endless space, Castiel is plastered against stiff ground beneath the thinnest layer of sticky shadow masquerading as a liquid. He is no longer able to angelically perceive depth leaving him with the sense that he is stuck in a Jimmy Novak shaped box. This darkness is vacant, like an old office building that was stripped but never sold; it is silent in a deafening way, like when you freeze in the dead of night after imagining a sound.

There are many names for this darkness. Sheol. The Void. The Empty. He thought of it as Sheol when he believed it would be a place of rest. Darkness like when humans close their eyes and their mind wanders off to let their body recoup. Peaceful and placid, like a night spent in a warm motel bed after a cold day’s drive. The mindless feeling of contentment sitting in the chair across from Dean’s bed while he sleeps, knowing that being there means he is safe. This was not Sheol any longer. Castiel lays awake in this inky blackness, aware of all the other angelic and demonic presences that must surround him somewhere just out of view. This is the Void, where darkness consumes him and every other being who lays here, trapping them in skintight coffins like people drowned in tar. But to him, it was quickly ceasing to be the Void either.

Castiel thinks of all the other beings who lay in this place with him, but his thoughts linger on all of those who are here because of him. His mind goes through every angel he has killed over the past decade. All those who had sided with Raphael. All those who had worked against Dean Winchester at some time or another whom he had murdered with hardly a thought. All who had fought at his side and paid the price for his mistakes. When his mind runs out of siblings he can name who had died at his hand or in his name, his thoughts return to where they always do. Dean Winchester. Castiel’s mind replays Dean’s face as he confessed his love, vivid as though his eyes were projecting it onto the opaque screen of darkness before him. The joy of his confession had long since left his body, seeping out into the shadows drip by drip with each time he replayed it, consumed by the blackness. Now, all that remains as it plays once more is the devastating feeling of unrequited love, hammered home by the deadened look in Dean’s eyes as he said the words. The feeling inside his chest as though he had been hollowed out. A retired scarecrow lying deflated on a shelf, waiting to be filled with new straw that will never come. This is the Empty.

[mrslectermoriarty]

Guys it's been 999 days since November 5th 2020. Let us all celebrate the 1000 day anniversay of this mythical Event tomorrow!!!

[myinfinitevariety]

i will never admit to him that his love feels like a tease from god.

- death wish by john alex baker

[thefrogsthewaterturnedgay]

Spn finale- three years later

So i know i might be a little late to this but i have just finished binging supernatural. After s15e20 i have some thoughts.

First off: Cas. Where is he? In heaven Bobby mentioned Cas "helped jack" when fixing heaven. Does that mean Cas is in heaven? I thought he couldnt come back from the Empty? If he is in heaven then why dont we see him? If he is in the Empty then why did Bobby say that??? Its never brought up.

And then theres Cas' death. It's hardly mentioned past episode 18, and its mentioned like once in 20.

And they never mention or acknowledge the love confession!!!!!!!

Second: What about Jody and Claire and Donna and Kaia and other world bobby and charlie and all the other people they cared about? Only Donna is really in 18 and none of them are past that. Did they ever come back after Chuck got defeated? Presumably they did. But why don't they ever show up? Wouldn't Claire probably want to be there when Sam burns dean's body? Wouldn't Jody? The point the show tried to make was that Sam didn't have anybody left? so they just ignored these other characters????

Third: After all those years 15 years Dean dies from a RUSTY NAIL??? ON A CASUAL RANDOM JUST ANOTHER WEDNESDAY VAMPIRE HUNT??????????????

WHO SAID THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA????

Finally: Wasn't the whole point of everything they did for 15 seasons, all those apocalypses and not-quite-deaths free will? Wasn't the whole point of defeating Chuck them finally getting out of the hamster wheel and living their own lives? Then dean dies like immediately after, and the whole thing is framed like sam has no one left and has to build a whole new life. Not even acknowledging the people they lost along the way (CAS?!?!) Or the people he still has left (see: second point).

So in conclusion, total shit finale, so many things weren't addressed or just tied up terribly.

Please, I need some good fix-it fics so if you have recs please tell me.

[flohamvi]

castiel thinking about his confession to dean, preemptively going into the situation knowing what was going to happen and practicing an infinite amount of times in his head, and he's thinking that he knows what he has to do and he knows how to protect dean and he's failed so many times before but he won't this time and he'll be happy. he will let dean know what he thinks and he will let dean know how dean tore him up inside and how he fell for dean and how he tried so so hard to always protect dean and how he tried to be the perfect guardian angel and it was never ever enough except for in this moment when he could sacrifice himself and save the love of his life and he knew he would do whatever it took. even if dean hated him and never wanted to speak to him again, even if dean couldn't reciprocate, even if dean thought about all the time he spent with castiel with a bad taste in his mouth it didn't matter because castiel needed to tell him and he was happy to get a chance to protect him one last time

[fandom-specific]

destiel: dean winchester's very public breakdown

After Castiel's 'final' death, the remaining members of tfw try to move on and just live. One day, Dean goes out on a solo hunt to silence the thoughts in his head.

While trying to solve the case, he has a hard time accepting what happened in Cas's final moments and cannot seem to focus. Terrible consequences arise from a distracted Dean and he can't hide his emotions.

A kind stranger helps him out.

[cowboydestiel]

this is my 1st time watching supernatural.

i just watched cas say "I love you" to dean and die.

i am now histerically crying.

i just saw cas' handprint on dean's jacket.

i.am.not.okay.

who decided that this was a good idea.

[themanwhowouldbefruit]

some of us were having a different november 5th 2020

[sweetpapercroissant]

I have never understood where the people who claim that the confession scene was platonic are coming from. Like why would you say “the one thing I want, it’s something I know I can’t have” to a friend. Even your best friend. Why would you EVER say that unless you were secretly in love with them

[icy-watch]

No, you'll stab him in the back. And the front. And the sides.

[pssy-wagn]

Day 23: Sleepless Nights

When Castiel died for the last time and we were left with a weeping Dean, I couldn't sleep for a couple of days. That's how bad it hurt.

[folie-a-winchester]

OH MY GOD DESTIEL CANON FOR 1000 DAYS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!